Community Spirit Magazine February 2019 by Community Spirit

NORTHEAST OKLAHOMA’S LEADING FAITH-BASED PUBLICATION FEBRUARY 2019

B E N A N D N O ELLE KI LGO R E

Wrecking Your Life in a Beautiful Way PLUS:

CALLING IT LIKE I SEE IT Pastor Alex Himaya of theCHURCHat

DOES KNOWING WHAT YOU BELIEVE MATTER?

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CONTENTS COMMUNITY SPIRIT MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2019 | VOLUME 1, ISSUE 2

5 Community Spirit Letter from the Editor

10 Calling it Like I See It

PUBLISHER & EDITOR Omega League Media Staff CREATIVE DIRECTOR TPC Studios CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Pastor Alex Meyers, theChurchat, Betsy Gwartnet Catrett CONTRIBUTING MONTHLY WRITERS Ryan Goodnight, Teresa Goodnight, Mike Henry, Andrea Stephens, Ingrid Skarstad Williams DISTRIBUTION Community Spirit Magazine is distributed to churches, schools, restaurants, businesses, and direct to home subscriptions. Email to deliver to your church or subscribe online for a copy sent directly to your home. Claims by advertisers, guest authors, authors, and the opinions of Claims by advertisers, guest authors, authors, and the opinions of writers within this publication do not necessarily represent the views of Community Spirit Magazine or its publisher. Omega League Media is not responsible for the reliability, suitability, timeliness of content submitted although best effort is always made to accommodate all requests appropriately.

Wrecking Your Life in a Beautiful Way

24 Daddy, Where are You?

29 Foster Care Helps Everyone!

BIBLE VERSE Romans 15:5-6 “May the God of ENDURANCE and ENCOURAGEMENT grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that TOGETHER you may with ONE VOICE glorify the God and father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” #onevoice #together #ChurchwithaCapitalC OUR MISSION Go into the world. Jesus said Go. To all of us. Do Something. Get in the Game. Be like Christ. Show His love.

Go. Do. Be.

COLUMNS SUBMISSION DEADLINE IS THE 1ST OF THE MONTH, PRIOR TO THE ISSUE.

6 8 12 20 22 27 34 36 4

Core: What is Faith Man2Man: A Call to Arms Part 2–A Battle with Faith Rise and Shine: Love At Work… It’s Not What You Think Family Living: Fun for the Fam on a Budget Heart2Heart: I Wish Senior Moments: Crisis Pregnancy Outreach at 72 IMPACT Students: Does Knowing What You Believe Matter? IMPACT Student Contest for Teacher of the Year

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THOUGHTS/IDEAS/SUBMISSIONS Feel free to submit your feedback or ideas via the website communityspiritmagazine.com. If you want to have your work considered for publication, at the website click on “Submit Content.” COMMUNITY EXPERTS/SPECIALISTS If you are field expert and would like to learn more about being a contributing author, contact us at 918.956.0700 or info@communityspiritmagazine.com. STUDENTS We would love to entertain your submissions, ideas and suggestions. Please hop on our website in the student stuff and submit! ADVERTISING Contact: Call 918-956-0700, or email ads@communityspiritmagazine.com

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR This issue of Community Spirit is dedicated to children–specifically to orphans, whether they have that designation from being in foster care or needing to be adopted. Children are an incredibly precious gift from God. We sat at a Lilyfield “Legacy of Love” benefit last fall hearing Bob Goff share there are about 8,500 children in Oklahoma needing foster care or adoption. The more we heard, the more we knew we had to do an edition of the magazine to help these children. Sometimes the “C”hurch isn’t acting because we’re unaware there is a problem. Other times we’re aware, but we just don’t switch into action mode. For us, we just weren’t listening. We’ve heard some of it before, but we kind of just let it go in one ear and out the proverbial other one. I think sometimes it feels like someone else can get this one or it’s just easier to come up with reasons it just won’t work. However, I’m pretty sure if we were driving past all of these sweet kids—alone, hurt, hungry, not just for food but for love and attention—our reaction would be drastically different. There are a multitude of ways to help as you will see in this issue. Regardless of the reasons we all have, God brought it to our attention He is crystal clear about our duty to care for the orphans, for the children. When Job was suffering, his friends tried to reason, “You must have sent widows away empty-handed and crushed the

hopes of orphans. That is why you are surrounded by traps and tremble from sudden fears.” (Job 22:910). It’s an oversight by the “C”hurch that doesn’t go unnoticed. I would think the “Buckle of the Bible Belt” would lead the way in this arena, setting an example of the love we have in Christ. God demonstrated His love for us by sending His son to die on a cross to pay the debt for our sins. His enormous payment for us allows us to be adopted as His children today. We don’t sit around and think about how we’re actually adopted into God’s family. That’s probably because God’s unconditional love for us is so BEYOND ridiculously huge that we just consider ourselves His sons and daughters. Most of us get that example of super crazy love from our earthly parents. I know I did. It goes on to be our foundation throughout our life. Without it though, it’s a bit more difficult to understand that picture of God’s sacrificial love. By not answering God’s call, we are sadly hindering the little children from coming to Him. So set your heart in a prayerful, open mode as you read through the articles. You never know. Our prayer for you, as the Kilgores like to say, is that God will “wreck your life in the most beautiful way.” #GoDoBe – Ryan and Teresa Goodnight, Community Spirit Editors and Owners

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CORE Written by Teresa Goodnight

Defining Faith with Action In James 2:18 in the New Living Translation (NLT), James

we will be compelled to take if we truly have faith. These

him.” Some examples of this faith are Noah, who built a

writes “’Now someone may argue, “Some people have

actions are NOT required to have faith in God; however, if

boat to board animals on a sunny day. Ok, maybe it was

faith; others have good deeds.’ But I say, ‘How can you

you have faith in God, your heart and God’s Holy Spirit inside

cloudy, but no one saw an earth-wide flood coming requiring

show me your faith if you don’t have good deeds? I will

of you will compel you to these types of actions. To say you

such massive efforts. God spoke. Noah obeyed. Abraham left

show you my faith BY my good deeds.’” Before that, James

have faith, but to do nothing with it, is on par with a doctor

his home and took his family to a place he didn’t know—a

also writes the verse we’re often more familiar with “So

running around talking about having a cure for a devastating

stranger in a foreign country. Sarah, his wife, through

you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good

disease but refusing to share it. I can imagine the families

mustard seed style faith (I mean, come on! How much

deeds, it is dead and useless.” James goes on to say “As

of patients with the disease beating down this doctor’s door

could Sarah have knowing she was well past the age of

the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds

saying “You say you have it. Prove it. Give it to us.” If the

childbearing?) bore Abraham the son of the promise of God,

is dead.”

doctor continued to do nothing but talk, the families would

Isaac. Hebrews goes on to say many of these people died

depart calling the doctor a hypocrite or a liar—someone

without even seeing the things promised—they just saw

Last month, we talked about how we are all sinners—and

who says one thing with his mouth but does nothing about it

them from a distance and really believed they were coming.

through faith in Jesus, all of us can be saved. It’s sort of a

with his actions. Pure puffery—all talk and no action.

Their actions were based on promises from a God they could

ground zero building block to be a Christian. However, this

not see and many hopeful results that were impossibly far

rather basic building block of faith is something many are

Hebrews 11 is one of the best chapters to read on faith.

from tangible. These people were even looking forward to a

confused on out of the gate. First, it is important to remem-

There is a list of God’s people and their actions based on

Messiah, who would come to rescue them. They believed.

ber before we go any further—“God saved you by his

things they could not see. Plus, these actions came with

They hoped. They had faith. That faith led them to action.

GRACE when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this;

outcomes they hoped in and believed God would honor. The

it is a gift from God. Salvation is NOT a reward for the good

chapter starts, “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for

Hebrews talks further about Moses’ parents’ faith. They

things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.”

and assurance about what we do not see.” Oftentimes, we

risked being killed, hiding him until they could no longer do

(Ephesians 2 8-9 NLT). So sin comes first. Grace from God

equate this kind of faith with simply doing good to others. In

so. Then, they found a way to send him in a basket they

comes next. Faith in God and his gift of grace would simply

our minds, giving a thanksgiving meal once a year through

crafted to float down a river in front of an Egyptian prin-

be the step to follow. Then, as our hearts change—gratitude

our church or a toy through Toys for Tots for Christmas might

cess—hoping He was as special as they believed, and God

for that grace we love to have slathered all over us leads us

be some of our best examples of faith in action. Those are

would somehow intervene. He did. That alone is more faith

to actions—actions of love because He first loved us.

on the list of generous things to do of course. However, for

than I can even imagine trying to have. His family waited

those in Hebrews, you see faith in action with excruciatingly

decades while Moses had to realize who his people were—

difficult outcomes involving the lives of those taking action.

and a few decades more for him to discover God’s calling to

I say simply, but faith itself can feel like a mystery. God gives us some clear definitions. He specifically tells us how much

lead the Israelites out of the captivity. Their captivity lasted

we need—faith of a child (Psalms 116:6), small as a mus-

Hebrews 11:6, “And without faith it is impossible to please

generations. They prayed. They waited. They clung to God’s

tard seed (Luke 17:6). Then, if you want to think it through

God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that

faithfulness with their remaining faith.

a little further, He actually tells us what kinds of actions

he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek

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Moses’ tale included another sacrifice--revoking all the earthly

gifts, parenting gifts, etc.). To stick with the cover theme

most basic thing he seeks? Jesus said it like this: “’Love the

pleasures he had being the son of Pharaoh’s daughter to

as an example, it COULD look like fostering or adopting a

Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and

eventually lead his people out of captivity (a calling he didn’t

child in this state where about 8,500 kids are looking for a

with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest command-

yet know). By faith Moses led those same people through

home. The faith part MIGHT be that you don’t know how

ment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as

the Red Sea when God parted it. Can you even imagine?

it will turn out. Maybe it scares you to bring someone into

yourself.’” (Matthew 22:37-38).

“Hey guys. Let’s go this way.” It had to require more faith

your home? Maybe you aren’t sure how you would find the

than I really know to take those steps. Then, those same

time? Maybe you like your life as it is and don’t want to risk

Living out your faith, can certainly be as small as daily

steps led to the death of the Egyptians chasing them as the

messing it up?

choices like deleting a Candy Crush (or dare I say Facebook/

parted waters merged. Those were steps of faith in action

Instagram/Twitter) from your phone to free up time for read-

without knowing the outcome—but believing in God. They

Another example? Parents who take on a second job to

ing the YouVersion Bible app on your phone. It’s not like you

were difficult for all involved, but they chose to follow God.

send their children to a Christian based school—because

can see how much stronger you would be in your faith if you

they believe God put on their heart that a Christian education

read the Bible as much as you invested time in those items,

Paul, the writer of Hebrews, goes on to tell us of more

for their children is the right choice for their family. For

but isn’t that faith? Taking action? Hoping and believing God

incredible feats of faith—and how some saw imprisonment,

Community Spirit Magazine, it was purchasing the magazine

will bless you for following Him? Don’t these actions really

torture, and even death. Some lived in caves and holes in

not knowing what God would do with it, but knowing we

prove our faith more than our words?

the ground, wandered deserts—taking their faith to the

wanted to touch the city for Christ and be part of His plan to

extreme, as they refused to revoke following Jesus. These

motivate the Body of Christ (the “C”hurch) to action. It’s a

I cannot tell you exactly where that faith-based action move

people didn’t just say they believed. They lived it. Some

bit of a battle in our hearts to press forward some days—

might be for you. I can just tell you what it MIGHT look like

even died for it.

but to think of God using us in His plan to change lives, to

and send you off to be on the lookout for it. Whatever you

change one life? It’s worth pushing on.

do though, don’t be the doctor with the cure…talking and

Isn’t that God? Instead of defining faith for us with simply

puffing about, but not having actions showing anything to be

words—God shows us faith by the incredible faith-filled

What faith-based action does God have for you? It’s not

actions of these people. Their faith has left a legacy to

the same for everyone. It’s between you and God. A faith-

impact generations to come. Interesting. Seems I’ve heard

based choice would be answering urges from God’s Holy

These choices—actions based on faith, small or grand, they

that concept somewhere before? Show me your faith BY

Spirit working inside of you to take action without possibly

are the CORE of our faith. They are our legacy, our witness.

your good deeds? (James 2:18).

understanding how it will turn out. We CAN know we serve

Without them, it could be proof that some of us are just full

a God who does not leave us alone where He leads us (or

of hot “Christian” air. †

So what does that look like for us today? I think it looks a

where he doesn’t for that matter). Faith lived out is about

little different for each of us. It’s based on circumstances in

following God’s prompt to action in our hearts, based on an

your life, gifts God has given you (spiritual gifts, financial

understanding of who He is and what He seeks from us. The

true. That won’t help anyone—certainly not an unbeliever.

#GoDoBe

To say you have faith, but to do nothing with it, is on par with a doctor running around talking about having a cure for a devastating disease but refusing to share it. C O M M U N I T Y S P I R I T • N O RT H E A S T O K L A H O M A’ S L E A D I N G FA I T H - B A S E D P U B L I C AT I O N

Written By: R.A. Goodnight

Call To Arms – Part 2 “In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.” – Ephesians 6:16

would be no forgiveness, because I knew better, yet chose

FAITH DEFINED

to do bad things. I began to tell myself there was no help,

I would rank faith as the most important piece of our

that I had been forgotten. I started to give in to the idea

armor next to our swords. Understanding what faith is and

that there was no reason to fight as I would not be able to

its importance in our relationship with God will help us

change. But amid the mental chaos and darkness, there was

understand how it can be used as a shield.

another thought that echoed in my mind. Let’s start with the question - what is faith? Faith has been defined by many as belief, or confidence. It is the conviction

A BATTLE WITH FAITH

“God is not unjust; He

By the time I was twenty-one, I strayed to a path that led

will not forget your work and

you turn on your TV and see a weatherman reporting on a

the love you have shown Him.”

as a category 4 and that you should expect heavy rains

me far from God. I couldn’t tell you how long it had been since I had been to a church, read the bible or said a prayer. I was addicted to multiple drugs and had a heavy smoking habit. I had no job, no way to feed myself, and no way to pay for next month’s rent. To make matters worse, at the end of the previous month, my roommate told me he was moving in with his girlfriend. I would have to figure out how to pay for the apartment on my own. As it got closer to the end of the month, I knew I was going to be evicted. Negativity and darkness grew in my mind. The depression, intensified by withdrawals, was so severe that I would run a razor blade across my body believing it kept my mind

I couldn’t remember exactly why I knew that. But it had that ring of truth and provided a calming effect on my mind. It made me ask myself - if He wouldn’t forget the works I had once done, then how could He forget me? Even though I had turned from Him, I wanted to believe that He was still there. After all those years and a mountain of sin on my shoulders, I had retained a grain of faith. Though small, it was powerful enough to defend me against the attack my

focused. I carry those scars on my arm to this day.

mind was under.

This path wasn’t what I wanted. It never was. I kept asking

With my feeble faith, I fell to my knees in the middle

myself how I had become so bad and so lost. But there was

of an empty apartment. Through tears I said my first

nothing in my power I felt I could do about it. It became

prayer in years. I apologized for what I had done and

frightening, as I did not know how to fight what was

admitted that I needed help. If it was true that I was not

happening in my mind. I felt alone and helpless.

forgotten, I begged Him to please send someone to help

One afternoon that mental battle reached an apex. I told

me. No sooner than the word ‘amen’ left my lips, there

myself I strayed too far and there was no way back. There

was a knock on my front door…

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that what we say we believe in is true and real. To illustrate, hurricane approaching. He is describing the incoming storm and strong winds. He is warning everyone to get out of the path of this storm while time remains. You step outside and look to the horizon, but you cannot see any storm. Does this mean that the hurricane is not really coming? On the contrary, you have confidence the hurricane is approaching because of what the weather report said. Similarly, Paul said this when speaking about faith, “Faith is the confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” (Heb. 11:1). It is through our faith that we believe in God. As our faith grows, we then come to believe truths about God. We can have confidence in such truths as: •

He loves us - 1 John 4:16

•

We are individually important to Him - Matt. 10:29-31

•

He will never leave us or forsake us - Duet. 31:6

•

That He wants us to succeed – Jer. 29:11

Armed with confidence, we can use those truths to defend against lies, fear or worry that my come into our lives - the “flaming arrows of the evil one.”

Another common arrow is doubt, the opposite of faith. The

Paul helps us understand the connection between faith and

writer James warns us that “The one who doubts is like a

action in Hebrews 11. He mentions many examples:

wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.” (James

•

Abel sacrificed

1:6). Without faith we run the risk of being tossed about by

•

Noah preached

believing anything or being paralyzed by fear. This will cause

•

Abraham went

us to doubt ourselves and even God himself.

•

Sarah gave birth

There is an event in the Bible that helps us see firsthand what doubt and fear can do to the strongest of Christ’s followers. In Matthew 14, we read the familiar scriptures of Peter stepping out of the boat to walk across the water to Jesus. Peter became afraid, taking his eyes off of Jesus, and began to sink. Jesus asked him one simple question, “You of little faith…why did you doubt?” (Matt. 14:31). Peter’s lack of faith allowed fear to come in. Fear lead to doubt which led to trouble.

faith that led to their actions.

Some common ways would be: 1. Pray together as a family. As you pray as a family, you will experience God answering your prayers together and your family’s trust and confidence in God will grow. Trust replaces doubt. 2. Have a family study schedule together. It doesn’t have to be a formal reading of bible verses. Make it fun. Play a Bible-based game that teaches them events in the Bible or tell them stories. Let them see how other people’s faith kept them strong. Tailor your study habits to your children’s age and interests. 3. Do not give up the habit of meeting together with our extended family. Regular attendance at worship is important to keep our faith strong. Remember, others faith can act as a protection for us as well.

Accordingly, Paul states in the same chapter, “And without

CONCLUSION

Abel’s faith made his sacrifice acceptable to God. Noah spent many years building the ark. Do you think doubt ever entered his mind? Perhaps, but his faith overcame his doubt. Sarah thought she was too old to give birth to a son, but her faith gave her confidence until she realized the promise. It convinced her that what God promised was true. It was their

faith it is impossible to please God.” (Heb. 11:6). We must have faith in order to stand firm and to do in God. Our faith

Because of the danger doubt can pose to a Christian,

is what keeps us strong, secure and ready for action.

Paul admonishes us to “throw off…the sin that so easily entangles” (Heb. 12:1). The sin he speaks of is a lack of

FAITH – A FAMILY AFFAIR

faith which leads to the introduction of doubt. It can be one

Our individual faith as men, as husbands and as fathers is

of the most fatal conditions for a Christian to experience. Our

essential. Seeing how effective the faith of a single individual

faith is what reassures us and convinces us to keep moving

can be, imagine the defense we can muster if our entire

and to keep fighting, regardless of what our enemy may say

family was a faith filled army.

about us. It shields us against doubt, fear and worry. When Paul wrote his letter to the Ephesians, he likely had in

FAITH – ITS IMPORTANCE This leads well into our next question – how important is faith? Faith acts as a great motivator in our lives. Once we come to believe something, that belief should result in an action. Let’s use the example of the hurricane from earlier. Our confidence that the hurricane is coming causes us to act - to pack up our family and to get out of the way of the storm. If we don’t believe the hurricane is coming, why act? Applying this to our lives, God is a God of action. He expects his people to be people of action (Matt. 25:14-30).

mind the armor that a Roman foot soldier would employ. A shield was a mainstay of that armor. Roman soldiers were proficient in the use of their shields, both individually and as a group. When their enemy would start firing arrows at them, the soldiers would close ranks and join their shields together. The soldiers on the outside of the formation would form walls with their shields. The soldiers in the middle of the formation would raise their shields above their heads to protect the rest against airborne attacks. This formation

…when I opened the door, a man was standing there. He was involved in a door to door ministry in the apartment complex, bringing the good news to people in the community. Interestingly, the man that was standing there knew me. We had not seen each other or spoken for several years. But he knew who I was. He knew where I came from. He knew the works that I had once done in God. I believe that seeing a familiar face, having a friend stand beside me, was part of God’s plan to help me. It strengthened me for the battles that had not yet begun – to overcome addiction and rebuild my life. This person’s knowledge of my past allowed him to help me break free from my present and step into my future. All of this began with a small amount of faith. That faith helped battle thoughts. That battle resulted in a prayer. That prayer, offered through faith, changed the direction of my life. Take up your shields men! Do not doubt or fear. Strike with your swords and defend with your faith. †

(called the testudo formation) was formidable and difficult to defeat.

It will be impossible for us to be active in God if we do not first have faith in God and who He is. This would include

Similarly, the combined faith of all members of our family

the spiritual defense of our families and ourselves. How

can be difficult to penetrate. As family heads, part of our

important and powerful this makes even the smallest of

responsibility is to help our families grow in their faith of

faiths (Luke 17:6).

God. How can we help our families grow in their faith?

What battles has your shield of faith or your swords of the spirit helped you fight? I would consider it a privilege to hear from any of the readers. Reach out to me, share your stories. man2man@omegaleague.com @omegaleagueman

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FEATURE STORY

Written by Pastor Alex Himaya

Calling It Like I See It Years ago, I did a sermon series we called F.A.Q, which stood for

another marriage between Jesus and the church and the marriage

Frequently Asked Questions. During the series I asked lay people to

supper of the Lamb. God told us to address him “our father” or “daddy”.

submit questions for me to answer and to preach on. The first question

Marriage and family are valued by God. It is how He chose to help us

I read was, “Why have I never heard you preach on orphan care?”

understand how to relate to Him.

My initial thought was, “Wow. This is going to be much harder than I thought!” My response was to sit down and re-read the entire bible. I

2. GOD VALUES: CHILDREN.

marked every time God’s heart was revealed. My journey was literally

Psalm 127:3 (NLT) states, “Children are a gift from the LORD; they are

life changing and gave birth to an international adoption ministry

a reward from Him.” Gift, reward, blessing, inheritance. But our culture

called ADOPT(ED).

and world sees them as a wait, cost, burden, inconvenience. What do you think when you see a family with 6 kids? Be honest!

As I read the bible, I came across four things that He speaks of over and

The bible teaches that God values children. In Mark 10:13-16 (NLT)

over and He values.

people were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but

4 THINGS GOD VALUES

the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, He was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to Me. Don’t stop them. For the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone

1. GOD VALUES: MARRIAGE AND FAMILY.

who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.

The bible begins with a marriage between Adam and Eve and

Then He took the children in His arms, and placed His hands on them &

instructions to leave, cleave and become one. The Bible ends with

blessed them.”

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There is another time that the disciples were admonished related to

economic reform and provided whatever they needed. I wonder. What

children. In Luke 9:46-48 (NLT), an argument started among the

would happen if just five percent of 400,000 churches in America established

disciples as to which of them would be the greatest. Jesus, knowing their

adoption ministries? How many millions would be adopted?

thoughts, took a little child and had Him stand beside Him. Then He said to them, “Anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf

May the stigma of “I am adopted” become non-existent in our church

welcomes Me, and anyone who welcomes Me also welcomes My Father,

and reversed. The number of children worldwide without families to love

who sent Me. Whoever is the least among you is the greatest.” God values

and care for them is overwhelming. It’s easy to forget that each/every one

Children. John 1:12 (NLT) states, “But to all who believed Him and

of these children is precious to the Savior. I am convinced that Christians

accepted Him, He gave the right to become children of God.”

should be leading the international dialogue about our responsibility to

3. GOD VALUES: ORPHANS. Deuteronomy 10:17-19 (NLT) states, “For the LORD your God is the

provide a home and a family for those who have none. I believe that as adopted children in God’s family, believers should be the first to reach out to orphaned and abandoned children around the world.

God of gods and Lord of lords. He is the great God, mighty and awesome God, who shows no partiality and cannot be bribed. He ensures orphans and widows receive justice.” Over and over in scripture we see that God has great compassion for orphans and fatherless children. Exodus 22:22 (NIV) “Do not take advantage the widow or an orphan. If you do, and they cry out to Me, I will certainly hear their cry.” Psalm 27:10 (NIV) “Though my father & mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.” Psalm 68:5 (NIV) “a Father to the fatherless…is God,” John 14:18 (NIV) “I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you.”

4. GOD VALUES: ADOPTION. Psalm 68:5-6 (NLT) states, “Father to the fatherless, defender of widows—this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families; He sets the prisoners free and gives them joy.” Have you considered the fact that Jesus was adopted? Yes, Jesus’s earthly father, Joseph, adopted Him. In fact, the Gospel of Matthew traces the bloodline of Jesus not through his biological mother, Mary, but through his adoptive father, Joseph. Even though one might easily pass over this fact as insignificant, this detail reveals something amazing about God’s nature. God does not make mistakes, and He certainly doesn’t need a

Yet many are unaware of the great need, or of God’s call on the church to be actively involved in helping the fatherless. At theChurchat, we have a ministry we call ADOPT(ED). ADOPT(ED) is an educating and exhorting ministry dedicated to supporting and helping the fatherless and connecting those children with loving, Bible believing families. I want us to challenge the heart, head and hands of believers. http://www.thechurch.at/adopted Just because there are orphans doesn’t mean every Christian needs to adopt. But we all need to be involved - Adopting, Praying, Funding, or Supporting. I don’t know for whom it is God’s will to adopt, but I am confident that adoption is not a second best choice and it’s not just for couples coping with infertility. It’s not a last resort and it is certainly not Plan B. God only works with one plan, and that is His divine plan, established before the foundation of the world. Just as He predestined the birth child’s existence, He also predestined the path of the child by adoption. Perhaps God is calling you to change a precious little one’s life today. What an awesome opportunity you and I have to reach the world for Christ, one home, and one child at a time. † #GoDoBe

back-up plan. Through this footnote in history we see that for Jesus, adoption wasn’t plan B. The first century church opposed abortion, child abandonment, deviant prostitution, human sacrifice and suicide. Their high view of life led to the rescue of many children. The church did more than just oppose the

If you read this article and felt God was calling you to be His child, to be adopted into His family, please send us a note at info@communityspiritmagazine.com and we can help connect you to a local church to help you in your next steps as a believer. What an incredible choice! Welcome to the family of God.

actions. They took those children in and adopted them, hospitals, education, C O M M U N I T Y S P I R I T • N O RT H E A S T O K L A H O M A’ S L E A D I N G FA I T H - B A S E D P U B L I C AT I O N

RISE&SHINE Written by Mike Henry, Follower of One

Faith in the Workplace LOVE AT WORK… IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK

Love can mean a strong sense of affection, or it can mean

friend. Do you think of them when they’re not around? Do

wishing and working toward whatever is best for someone

you actively look for ways to bless them? Do you help them

Do you love your coworkers? Chances are, if you enjoy

else. Paul urged the Philippians to consider others more

with their work? Do you know their family? Would you

your work, you enjoy your coworkers. Going back to 1999,

important than themselves (Philippians 2:3 NASB). He went

recognize their family members or even know their names?

Gallup has polled people in their workplaces for their level

on to cite Jesus as the example (vs. 4-10). Jesus laid aside

Do you know what their hobbies are or what their kids are

of engagement at work. Marcus Buckingham and Curt

his position as God and became a human, even a baby, to a

involved in? Do you appreciate what they appreciate? Do

Coffman first wrote about employee engagement in their

poor family in the middle of nowhere. He lived as one of us,

groundbreaking 1999 book, First, Break All The Rules:

you ever take your time and money and invest it in their

yet without sin, for around 30 years before even beginning

lives, their passions and their interests? What do you give

to talk about his role as our Savior. And then he went on to

away because you appreciate them?

What The World’s Greatest Managers Do Differently (Gallup, 1999). They asked twelve questions to measure how engaged people were in their jobs. Two of the questions measured how loved people felt at work. Question 6 was “Is there someone at work who encourages my development?” And question 10 was “Do I have a best friend at work?”

THE GREAT COMMANDMENT Jesus said the greatest commandment (Mark 12:28-31 NASB) was first and foremost that we should love God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength. He then continued, “The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:31). My neighbors have always been people at work. I grew up working. Often my job called me to leave the house at 6:30 in the morning and I would return home between 6 and 6:30 at night. So, my neighbors were always people I worked with. We even joked that during one period in my career, I left and came home in the dark. I felt like Batman. No one ever saw me unless I was in my Batmobile or at the office. 12

suffer the shame of death on a cross as a pauper, between two thieves. Even while we were against him, he was for us.

How would you encourage your coworker’s development?

Jesus even said, “Greater love has no one than this, that one

What do you do to help your neighbors at work find the

lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13 NASB).

energy and courage to take a class, give extra effort, or get ahead in their own career? Do you encourage others to take

GIVE LOVE AWAY

a chance? Do you know what your coworkers’ value, so you

Jesus set the example for us to love. His kind of love wasn’t

can encourage them to pursue their passions? When your

a feeling, it was action. Amy Grant, Michael W. Smith and

friends have ideas, do you “help” them by pointing out all of

Wayne Kirkpatrick wrote a song based on Jesus’ love for

the obstacles or questioning their judgement? Or do you help

us, titled Give It Away. The lyric was, “love, isn’t love,

them find ways around obstacles, so they can move toward

till you give it away.” If you think of love as something

their goal? Do you help your friends believe they can reach

pointed toward you, you’re not thinking about the kind of

their dreams, or do you help them accept the status quo?

love Jesus lived. His love was pointed toward others. It was away everything for the best interests of people who didn’t

GO BEYOND YOUR JOB DESCRIPTION

appreciate him at all.

When I love my neighbors at work, I find ways to go over

designed to be given away. Jesus’ love inspired him to give

and above my own job description to work in their

QUESTIONS TO ASK

eternal best interests. Every time we do something

What does it mean to love a neighbor when that neighbor

for someone else, without expectation of return, we

is a coworker? Let’s start with what it means to be a best

cooperate with Jesus. He is at work in the lives of

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everyone we meet, encouraging them to experience eternal life in his kingdom today. Jesus will use our love for others as a tool. He will show us ways to bless and serve others if we actively work toward their good. And after we love them, we will find we like them, too. When we treasure our relationship with our friends at work, we will find our heart follows. Jesus wasn’t joking when he said, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:21, NASB). Jesus knows our greatest need. We find love when we give love, and we find life when we give life. Give Jesus’ love to others and increase your joy, in your life and in your work, too! †

February 25 - March 1, join Follower of One on their Marketplace Mission Trip. Go to your own workplace every day, pray for your coworkers and join God at work. Learn more and sign up at https://www.followerofone. org/marketplace-mission-trips/marketplace-mission-tripfebruary-2019/.

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Written byTeresa Goodnight

COVER STORY

Wrecking Your Life in a Beautiful Way “We’re so very sorry. Your son won’t be

going home with you. We’re setting you up with palliative care to be with him while he is here to make him comfortable. There’s nothing we can do.”

The doctors said something like that. The exact words never really made it into their minds. Ben and Noelle just sat there. “We were in a puddle on the floor. Broken. How could this be what God had planned for us? Everything I had asked God for…everything…He just didn’t answer one single thing,” said Noelle with more strength than she felt that night. “With what felt like no faith left,” she continued, “we prayed for him, both Ben and I, together. I say I prayed, but I could barely speak the words,” said Noelle. 14

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Ben and Noelle started their journey together long before they knew they were starting THIS journey together. Some, like Ben’s dad, knew Noelle was the one for Ben from the first time they met. Both of them had such a heart for ministering to others through song. Their hearts wanted to share songs about God, praising God, strengthening anyone who would want to worship God with them. Even at the hospital, through this nightmare, someone brought a guitar—and there in their brokenness they sang worship songs with family and friends, both old and new, gathered around them. When praising God is just who you are, it just comes out no matter what path God has you on at that exact moment it seems. In the beginning, the couple had crossed paths many times in the worship arena. They had a host of mutual friends and acquaintances. It wasn’t until Noelle was working at a homeless shelter in Amarillo and wanted to do a lullaby album for families that they really connected. Noelle contacted Ben through MySpace, knowing his heart for music and worship—and she wanted him to be one of the contributors on the lullaby album. However, after Ben called her and they talked for several

hours, they started a journey that led them here, to this hospital in Little Rock, Arkansas trying to sort through God’s plan for their lives. How was this His plan for bringing little Pierce into their story? How was God threatening to take him in what seemed such an abrupt disruption to their well-laid plans and dreams? Ben said, “Our first Christmas, we weren’t officially dating. After my dad passed that February, I was going to Eskimo Joe’s. I needed to go play somewhere. Stillwater seemed as good of a place as any. Dad’s passing was unexpected and really hard on me. Noelle drove there with me. We already were really boyfriend and girlfriend I think, but I asked her officially that night. That was 11-12 years ago. This June will be 10 years since we married in Cain’s Ballroom.” When Ben and Noelle married, they knew they wanted children. In fact, they spent several hours on a plane after Ben proposed thinking of the names of their future children. They knew they would adopt, along with the plan to have biological children. It was always the plan. Then, they quickly found themselves in the infertility doctor’s office. Noelle said, “We knew we always wanted to adopt. We had decided when we first got married we would try to have children and just see what happens.” Noelle then said, “We were quickly told we couldn’t have children. With our makeup together, there was less than a 1% chance we could conceive naturally. So, we did IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) a couple of times.” The couple was headed to the Texas panhandle to work on their album at Noelle’s brother’s studio. While there, they tried IVF. When they found out they were pregnant just a few weeks later, they were elated. Then, at just 7

Adoption

From The Kilgores: Adoption is now a really big part of the Kilgores’ lives. Ben said, “There are so many people struggling with the possible calling to adopt. They have real questions, real concerns-some they don’t even want to voice. We have been through so much. We feel we just want to help people who want to explore adoption from a real vantage point.” Ben continued, “God has really opened up some amazing doors for us for conversations with people who always wanted to adopt but were scared or didn’t know where to start. There’s so much fear of the unknown and questions. We’ve encouraged and watched as 5-6 couples went through the process,” said Ben.

Christ adopting us and knowing that we have this now availability to him.” Then she went on, “At one point, it hit me--wait a second, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for them and God feels that same way with us?” Romans 8:15 says, “So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him ‘Abba, Father.’” Ben said, “It’s hard to explain. But they feel like they came from within us. Our baby pictures even look alike.” He continued, “People say ‘are you ever going to try to have your own kids?’ and other things that don’t sound right to us. There’s a whole article on what not to say to adoptive parents. ‘How much did you pay for your kids?’ is a good one,” Ben laughed. He said, “People just don’t get it and don’t talk about it. But they feel like my blood. I don’t know what it’s like to have a biological child. We don’t feel like we’d be lacking anything if we’d never had bios. They are a part of us… our personalities are intertwined and God wrote this story,” Ben said.

My immediate response was “Wow, it’s so incredible to think of all those kids lives being changed.” Then, we all broke in at the same time “Actually, all the lives.” Ben went on to clarify and said, “People are always like they are so lucky that you adopted them. It’s really everyone’s life that’s changed. If it wasn’t for those kids, “There are so many sayings we have picked up over we wouldn’t have a family. We definitely won out in the years but ‘God makes families’ is my favorite. He this situation. These kids would’ve been loved no matter definitely made our family. He saw it before it happened. where they were.” We continued to talk about that He knew and He wove it together. He knit them in the feeling you have when you start out going on a missions womb with us in mind. So much like people are grafted trip. You just can’t wait to go there and help the people. together into Christ, we were grafted together. We Then, somewhere along the way--they help you. When carried them in our hearts and they’re ours and we’re you come home, you realize you went for them, but theirs.” Ben spoke with such passion and love, it was God used them to change you. easy to see how God used adoption and grafted these children into their hearts. The Kilgores also said that adoption changes your viewpoint of your relationship with God. Noelle said, Noelle said, “Our prayer and our hope in sharing and “There’s not one single thing these kids could ask of us exposing the world to our story is that people feel that we would not try to get for them. This picture of

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weeks, Ben and Noelle lost the baby in a miscarriage. Noelle said, “It was

on our way to Scottsdale for yet another fertility appointment. On the

devastating. IVF is stressful all by itself—it’s really hard. It’s hard on your

drive, the lawyer called us and said, ‘I have a boy that’s due in September

relationship. It’s just hard on everything. It takes the romance out of things.”

if you are interested.’” Ben and Noelle both chimed in, “We were like WHOA!” They went to the fertility appointment, but immediately called

The couple then decided they would look into adoption sooner than

back to put their yes on the table. That yes led them to Little Rock, to the

they had thought. Noelle said, “We didn’t want to approach adoption

CD-ICU trying to find the faith to just breathe. That boy was little Pierce.

as our consolation prize. It’s super important to anyone adopting to pay attention to that. I don’t ever want these kids to think the dialogue of this

When Ben and Noelle first talked to the young 17-year old mom, it was

amazing way we became a family is because we couldn’t have biological

via Skype. She was Marshallese (native of the Marshall Islands). Ben and

children of our own.”

Noelle learned there’s a community in Arkansas of Marshallese people due to nuclear testing on the islands, which gave the inhabitants a pass

The Kilgores still weren’t sure they were ready. They needed time to

to America. The birth mom came to Arkansas to live with her aunt

process everything as they moved into this new direction. Between the

at about 10-12 years old and her parents remained there. Noelle said,

IVF, the miscarriage, the stress of the situation—it’s difficult for anyone

“There was quite a language barrier at the time we talked but the next day

faced with so much to find a bit of peace in anything they are trying to

the lawyer called. The birth mom told the lawyer she wanted us. It was

do. It really takes some time in front of God. It takes time to let Him heal

so fast, but we knew it was God’s plan for the story of our family. We did

the pain, the wounds. It takes time to hear His voice to know where the

all the things to prepare. It was just a dream come true.”

path is He has for you now. Ben had travelled to New York one week, when Noelle received a In just a short time, Noelle said, “We had a meeting in Tulsa with

disturbing call. Noelle said, “One morning, the birth mom called. She

Dillon, an adoption agency. We didn’t want to do a domestic adoption

was upset but I couldn’t even understand most anything she was saying

and certainly hadn’t wanted to do one that was open, where the birth

with the language barrier. I just knew it wasn’t good.” The one thing

mom remained in our lives. It just didn’t sound like the right step for

Noelle did catch was the doctors had told the birth mom something was

us.” So, they moved to Phoenix and started the process of adopting

wrong with his heart. She wasn’t sure. Noelle went on, “I was just beside

internationally. In their first step, the couple got on the list for Ethiopia.

myself. How could this be? I just started getting permission for the

Ben said, “Noelle completed massive amounts of paperwork trying to get

doctors to speak directly to us. It was just surreal. We had a baby shower.

everything ready. Things weren’t really moving forward for some reason.

The nursery was done. How could this be happening? How could this be

Then all of a sudden, Ethiopia shut down for adoption.” Noelle and Ben

God’s plan for us?” The cries of her voice broke her heart into pieces

both were frustrated. They were trying to follow God in this story of

as she jumped into action mode.

their family, but they felt they kept running into walls. In times like these, you really start to search your heart and soul—just trying to make sure you are listening to Him. We’ve all been there.

“It took a couple of days to get all of the permissions worked out. Then, the doctor called us and said this list of all the things wrong. It was like THIS long.” Noelle said as she made a gesture of a list extending about a

“So, we thought we had a plan—then it didn’t work out,” said Ben. Then Noelle chimed in, “We had this friend out there in Arizona, who said I have an adoption lawyer who helped my brother’s girlfriend’s family or something like that.” Noelle continued, “We had already done all the paperwork for the international path. We didn’t want to go chase a

foot long. “It included something about his heart, his lungs, his arm, and it just went on,” Noelle said.

“Then, he said ‘I’m so sorry. I’m not sure how he’s even going to survive after birth.’”

bunch of stuff, but then a month later, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt I was supposed to reach out to this lawyer. So, I reached

The words cut straight through Ben and Noelle’s hearts like a cold knife

out to him.”

had actually been plunged through them both. Being a couple sharing an incredible strength of faith in a powerful God, Ben chimed in, “We

Ben said, “We kind of went that direction, but we didn’t even know what

were devastated, but we immediately just started requesting prayers for

domestic adoption looked like.” Then, he said, “One morning, we were

him everywhere we could. We had friends sending out requests.

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There were literally thousands of people praying for him all around the world, dropping to their knees for him. We were praying for him to surprise the doctors and just be a marvel to them. We just knew God was going to answer our prayers. We knew this marvel was going to be our story. Then, there we were in Little Rock.” The doctor explained to the Kilgores upon delivery, their new son had Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS), a birth defect where the left side of the heart does not form correctly. That day, the day Pierce was born, the doctors began longer explanations of his inability to be helped due to his other health problems. Ben said, “Pierce had only one full functioning lung and now they also found a kidney problem. Because of these issues, the doctors said he can’t survive the lifesaving surgeries that they needed to do. They said they were going to make him comfortable.” Ben and Noelle just paused in the story. They had just been through so much, so quickly— and found themselves in what seemed like a bad dream. Ben went on, “The doctors and nurses rallied around us, but knew it was impossible he would survive. He was lifeflighted to Little Rock to the Children’s Hospital. We were there several days; they looked at every way possible to have surgery. Their last resort was to have a surgery to open up his left lung to give him a chance to have his heart surgery. They came back again and said there’s just no way. We’re so sorry.” That’s where they were when we started the article—palliative care for little Pierce. Ben said, “We were a mess because we really felt God had given us this desire. We dreamed of this boy, and believed God was really going to heal him before he was born. Our prayer was that his life would marvel the doctors. We had people all over the world praying for him. It

encouraged and moved towards adoption if it’s on their heart. I know it would be a dream come true if the dialogue came where people were asked ‘Are you going to have children anytime soon?’ And the logical question is, ‘are you going to have a bio or are you going to adopt?’ Because it becomes such a normal thing that people look towards.” Noelle went on, “I have to give credit to Hollywood celebrities, who made it like this is a really great thing that you can be a part of. If a celebrity can have an adopted child, I can too. I think it has shifted people’s view on it.” Ben went on, “We think Oklahoma needs to eliminate the need for foster families. There are how many kids and how many churches? There should not be a kid without a home who doesn’t have one.” The magazine agrees with them. The “C”hurch SHOULD solve this problem. It’s not just a feel-good kind of thing, it’s actually expected of us by God. When I tried to isolate the perfect verse to demonstrate, my Bible App search overwhelmed me with so many verses calling out those who should help and not oppress orphans. Orphans are discussed throughout the Old Testament. James 1:27 (NLT) says, “Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.” Ben shared, “I’ve been saying it that God has put it on our hearts to have a gathering of people who are interested and they come with their questions. Every time I mention it—people are saying let’s do it.” Ben said, “Noelle wanted to have several couples over to our backyard. It’s scary but we do hard things as God’s people and maybe we could help them see. We want to open our arms to people. We want to do that through our music, through our church. Our hope is that God will draw people to us so that they can be loved the way He loves. We want to talk about how we can be an advocate, a voice of encouragement and information.” Ben and Noelle’s hearts were flowing over with a passion for helping the “C”hurch realize our place to care for the orphans. Ben said, “People get intimidated. There are so many thoughts that go through people’s minds. People need to have a safe place to explore those thoughts.” One thought that had come to my own mind before, was if I would love an adopted child the same way I love my bio daughter. When you have a child who captures your

heart, it’s difficult to think of how to add another. Ben said, “We have friends that have 2 bio and adopted their third child and had those same concerns. They wondered if there would be a difference in how they loved the third child.” Ben continued, “People with their own bio children struggle with those relationships as well. Every kid is different. How it started is just part of the story but you aren’t going to love ANY of your children the same way. You have to love them differently. We all have different love languages.”

Ben finished, “It doesn’t make sense right now in your head but there’s something that happens miraculously. You can’t explain it. You can’t describe it. You can’t say this is what you do to gain that perspective and feelings– they just happen.” Ben and Noelle shared that when they were looking to adopt, it was a bit intimidating. There were so many agencies. Then, their friend, Nicole Nordeman, said Stephen Curtis Chapman was in town—and asked if we wanted to go with her. Noelle said, “Stephen shared his own story, which many of us know, as it was a way to lead and motivate us. It did.” Ben said, “We pray when we share our story that it can do something for people as well.” Ben and Noelle said, “We are humbled and excited that we get to be showcased in a way that tells the story of adoption in a positive light. People need to know adoption is a thing God is mindful of.” The two were naturally so encouraging, “You have a perfect opportunity with the magazine to shine the light on the need, the barriers and how to help people overcome their fears.” Ben went on, “We’re smart people. God’s given us resources and time—what can we do? How can we come together as the “C”hurch and get this done? Let’s create a dialogue and mobilize into action.” † If you’d like to find out more about adoption or about creating a resource group for your church--reach out to us at adoption@ communityspiritmagazine.com and let us help plug you in. It just takes one small step, one light in the dark--and we can light a fire that changes generations to come. #GoDoBe

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just didn’t seem real that he wasn’t healed.” Noelle said, “Pierce was

want to get their hopes up. Sure enough. In fact, Pierce’s heart was

strapped up to about every machine possible for his lungs, kidneys,

just great. The team literally had to kick them out of the NICU in the

and heart to sustain him comfortably.” Then, Ben said, “We just sat

cardiologist department because Pierce had nothing that needed done to

there—loving him. Waiting.”

his heart anymore.

Ben said the doctors had meetings to try to resolve tough situations in

In total, they were there 5 weeks and the team didn’t have to intervene

the hospital. The doctors wanted an echocardiogram of Pierce, which

with one surgery—not one. Later on, the couple said Pierce ended up

would get a picture of his heart and his breathing, as a way to see if he

having a surgery for a tethered spinal cord, but nothing with his lung,

had a hypoplastic lung as well.” Then, Ben said, “Finally, they pieced

kidney or heart! They found out he had a horseshoe lung and it actually

together a picture of his heart that day to reconfirm everything. Our

does the work of both lungs. When the doctor who delivered him came

families were in the waiting rooms. The pulmonologist pulled us aside

back to the hospital and ran into the Kilgores, Ben said, “She said ‘What

and confirmed for good that his lungs definitely couldn’t handle the life-

are you still doing here?’ She was in shock. All the nurses were

saving surgery he needed.” Ben paused, then continued,

believers and they knew. It was a miracle from God,” finished Ben.

“Noelle kept saying ‘He (God) didn’t give me ONE of the things I asked for. I mean nothing.’

The Kilgores weren’t even sure how to share the depth of emotion they had been through. It wasn’t a roller coaster ride, unless roller coasters only go down and down and further down and then all of a sudden just before hitting the bottom, shoot back straight up to a height

She was so severely disappointed, broken on the floor wondering how

beyond the roller coaster’s rails. It was a work of God. There was no

God could have abandoned us in this situation.” As they talked, the

other explanation for Pierce’s recovery. He went from palliative care to

intense pain from over 4 years ago was clearly brought back vividly in

make him comfortable to scheduled to go home with his family. Some

their hearts. The prayer they uttered in desperation over Pierce’s failing

miracles are so far beyond our understanding that we have to fall to our

body was in broken desperation. “I prayed with what felt like zero faith,”

knees thanking God and praising Him for what only He could do.

said Noelle. “I just didn’t have anything left.” The Kilgores have gone on to adopt two biological siblings of Pierce, The next morning Ben said, “Dr. Garcia, his heart doctor, said ‘Can I

Rosie, now 2 and Merrick, almost 1. Each have their own beautiful

have a word with you in the consult room?’” Ben and Noelle walked

stories confirming for them that God knit these children together in

slowly, knowing the doctor was bringing them to the consult room

their mother’s womb knowing full well they would become a family.

so that they could be alone to process more bad news. Then, Noelle

Psalms reads “You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit

said, “She said, ‘I’ve got good news and bad news.’ I stammered, wait,

me together in my mother’s womb...You saw me before I was born. Every

GOOD NEWS? The doctor went on, ’When he was born, his left side

day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out

was 15-20% of the size it’s supposed to be. ‘We finally got a new pic of

before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about

his heart today—it’s 75% of the size it should be.’” Ben said, “Noelle and

me, Oh God. They cannot be numbered.” (Psalms 139:11-17 NLT).

I just stood there.” Then, he said, “The doctor went on, ‘He still has a coarctation of his heart. It’s an easy surgery, you go into the side and the

Noelle said their family means everything to them. They couldn’t

repair is pretty standard. It’s honestly impossible to explain it. We’ve

imagine doing life without their amazing children. God has so richly

seen growth like this over years but not in a few days.’” Ben and Noelle

blessed them.

were overwhelmed. God had just marveled the doctors with their son. Ben said, “It was just kind of crazy after that. A few days later, the nurses were doing rounds and we overheard them. The nurses said, ‘It doesn’t look like coarctation of the heart.’” Noelle said she chimed in on the conversation with a surprised face, “Wait! Did we just hear no coarctation? What?” The nurse told the couple to hang on, as she didn’t 18

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She closed, “Adoption has become this really beautiful passion of ours that has just wrecked our lives in the most beautiful ways.” †

AVA I L A B L E N O W

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FAMILY LIVING Written by Teresa Goodnight

Denver Fun Vacation planning for Spring Break and summer can be a daunting task. PLUS, there’s always the costs associated with the fun. We’re highlighting some fun places lighter in the budget department to try to give readers some great adventures out of state. This month in the chilly winter, we want to highlight a nice 10’ish hour trek to Denver. Starting in spring and moving into summer, we like the numerous outdoor activities of course. Exploring the outdoors lends itself well to appreciating all God has created for us to love and enjoy. Plus, we’re employing a 3-year-old to test and try all the fun to give you a child’s perspective. If asked, we all know the hiking and fishing adventures to be had. People can spend lifetimes exploring all of the beauty the outdoors in Colorado have to offer. However, there’s a

and art creative labs are just few of the areas to enjoy. There’s also a fire truck, a grocery shopping/cooking center, camping area and climbing area. At only 3.5 Izi spent over 5 hours there playing to her heart’s content. Iz hammered her first nail, screwed in her first screw, created a spinning “spinnermabobber” and made giant bubbles to surround her in the Bubble Park section. In the camping area, she filled a tree house with different creatures of nature learning

There’s an amazing planetarium of sorts. It’s just a blow up,

about their habitat. Her clay modeling and painting time

giant, igloo-style theater for about 30, which shows all sorts

gave her a familiar little creative outlet to boot. We even had

of space expeditions for those interested. We watched one

a nice lunch, which you can buy at reasonable rates in

on Saturn. Iz can now explain that the surface is similar to

the mini-cafeteria. I had to peel her out of there as they

wet sand and the rings of Saturn are made of frozen rock

were closing.

particles—not really true rings at all. We spent about 3 hours there. It was loads of fun. I’m pretty sure if we hadn’t

Parking is free and, BTW, it’s just next door to the Denver Aquarium downtown (although we find our Oklahoma Aquarium in Jenks www.okokaquarium.org to be on par with any out of state aquarium we’ve seen!). However, it’s also a little fun if you have the time. At $14 each though, the Children’s Museum was still a great value for the fun! www.mychildsmuseum.org

limit on the hours younger ones can enjoy the exploration. So, with a little planning, each of these other unusually fun activities are fairly inexpensive to work into the plan for the younger ages. Together, they really round out the experience for the whole family. The Children’s Museum of Denver, the KidsSpace Amusement Children’s Center (Westminster) and a fun little trip to Lava Island (Aurora) are all short drivable locations for some Denver area playtime for the whole crew.

THE CHILDREN’S MUSEUM offers something for everyone–newborn to about 10, maybe 12 years old. Cooking classes, building stations, bubble stations 20

Izi (3.5 and already a BIG children’s museum fan across the country) gave it a total thumbs up!

THE KIDSPACE CHILDREN’S AMUSEMENT CENTER with STEM based play is

already discussed Lava Island that we might’ve had a longer visit. Parents enter free and kids are max $14. www.kidspacefec.com Iz also gave it a big thumbs up. However, we saved the best for last.

LAVA ISLAND. This place was IT. It had something for kids (and adults) of all ages. There were super large toddler areas with climbing, running, and ball pits--all of which could keep a toddler going for hours. Iz enjoyed it for a little while, but as usual was up for the 5-12 year

just northwest of Denver (and a short drive from Boulder!). This one is definitely for kids of younger ages as well—up to about 10. They can climb through mazes, climb to slide down some great slides, swing on what we dubbed the “hangy thangy’s” and even shoot fun rockets in the air (nerf

old sections with climbs up to 20-25 feet high on padded

foot pump rockets of course).

decided that was NOT the slide for us (#wimpy).

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walkways going over, under, around and through about every fun obstacle she could find. The top had a pay off with 6 giant slides or one enormous straight down slide (only for older kids!). It was so straight down we rode it once and

In the back was a giant ball pit. Plus, there was an equally

to go to one of the other areas—and then that activity

or two (or Airbnb/VRBO) and you could get a room for

challenging similar pit of fun with giant lava rocks, where

could be your only one at $15. The entire complex really

$69-150 per night. (If you need tips/tricks on room rates

kids of all ages were jumping and flipping into the soft foam.

housed an entire family’s worth of fun.

we’ll touch on that later this year. We will write about and post our favorite rate saver ideas. Don’t get us started on the

There was a trampoline in the back corner—right next to the giant volcano. The volcano, sticking with the Lava Island

I’m not sure where else you could go for the whole

value of booking early and flying www.southwest.com if you

theme, was full of air and extended around 25 feet into

family—and spend so little for the day of fun adventures

have the cash to fly.).

the sky with a giant slide going almost straight down to the

sure to make everyone pass out in the hotel. A family of 4 at

ground. The kids could climb using “climbing” holds or they

$30 doesn’t buy you THAT much fun anywhere that I know!

So, all in for a 3 night/4 day fun trip—you could pick

could just attempt the straight up jaunt. Iz preferred to slide

Iz broke the mold and gave Lava Island two thumbs

1-2 of these and pair it with a fun day hiking to fishing just

straight down from about half way up.

up—and has been requesting to vacation in Colorado again

south in a Colorado Springs area lake or one up in Boulder-

specifically to make it back to Lava Island. No. Seriously.

-covering a lot of ground with about $650-700 plus food.

Overall, we spent over 8 hours there—twice. The cost was

Just yesterday, after 3 months. STILL. The other two come

(And trust me when I say, they have a Chick-Fil-A on every

also reasonable. Parents were free (which isn’t true of many

up--but not with the passion she uses for Lava Island. This

corner as well!). It’s not free, nor is it chump change, but

places!). We paid $15 to spend the day there. They also

location alone was worth the drive for her. I can’t say that I

it’s a lot of bang for the buck in the “family vacations to talk

had pizza, sandwiches, drinks (including Honest kids juice!).

disagree. It was an incredible two days of fun.

about with a lot of adventures” department! †

For even more fun, for those a little older, they have a

www.lavaisland.com

separate section of a giant trampoline park for all the bouncing you could muster. There were even basketball

Colorado is one of the most diverse vacation spots to hit.

goals, where we happened to catch some collegiate players

It really does have something for everyone—making it

practicing some drills they created. Further over was a

a vacation you can talk about for years to come. Using a

climbing section for indoor climbing and training. Each of the

simple calculation of miles/miles per gallon * gas price—

extra areas were an additional $10, unless you only wanted

we’d expect a $250 round trip cost. Priceline a great hotel

Driving Devo with the Kids:

A Few Thoughts for the Colorado Road “But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish in the sea inform you. Which of all these does not know that the hand of the Lord has done this? In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind.” Job 12:7-10

“In his hand are the depths of the earth, and the mountain peaks belong to him.

Have you ever thought about the world around you? The Bible says the animals or birds or even the fish have. Just ask them. What do you think they can teach you if you asked?

Psalm 95:4-7 NIV

The Bible says every life is in God’s hand. What does that mean? If you know that your life is in God’s hand, and He takes care of all these living things, does that give you relief? Why?

The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land. Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker; for he is our God and we are the people of his pasture, the flock under his care. Today, if only you would hear his voice...”

What did God make? Do you think God was creative? What does worship mean to you? Why would the Bible tell us to bow down and worship God? What are some ways you can worship God while looking at all He has made?

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HEART2HEART Written by Andrea Stephens

I Wish She was sitting in the front passenger side of their SUV when she and her husband graciously volunteered to play Uber and give me a ride to the airport. Seeing her from the side only, it was her hands that I noticed first. They looked different. Didn’t they? How weird that the backs of her hands caught my attention, but they did. They were thinner. I could tell because the veins were more prominent.

an overrated belief). How I’d love to see Leonardo de Vinci’s

don’t do, or won’t become could keep us from seeing all of

Mona Lisa or Claude Monet’s Water Lilies or Pablo Picasso’s

the wonderful things we are blessed with. Wish-level thinking

Girl Before a Mirror. As a former art student, who still likes to

can also threaten to cause us to slip into a poor me state

dabble in oils, it’s always been a dream to see the master’s

of mind, which leads to moping around instead of getting

original works. Oh, I wish I could go there! Yet the cost of a

motivated to take action.

trip like that is hefty. Ugh! I listened intently while she told about the latest book she was reading in preparation for writing her dissertation (that

WHATEVER YOUR WISH OR DESIRE, HERE ARE A FEW THINGS TO ASK YOURSELF BEFORE MOVING AHEAD.

mega paper required to obtain a doctorate degree). She explained the verse she had selected, described how she

tactics the enemy uses to pull me away from the

and how it fit into the theme of her paper. I was intrigued.

things of God: the lust of the flesh, the lust of the

Oh, I wish I could do that! I love to study God’s Word and learn. I finished my Master of Divinity degree two years ago.

eyes, the pride of life. Check your motivation. 2.

Paris! She just got back from Paris—as in France, not Texas. The land of the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, the Notre Dame Cathedral, the fragrant springtime cherry blossoms, and the love that is in the air (though I’m guessing that is 22

Is this all about me or can it be repurposed into

The idea of continuing on toward a doctorate degree excited

something that will advance the Kingdom?

me. I felt it calling my name. But how? Where would I find

Check your purpose.

the time to make it happen? Ugh!

Will this develop me into a better version of myself— leading me closer to becoming the person God created

As you’ve read my wish list, did you think about what’s

She had definitely been sticking to Weight Watchers (Wellness Wins) and it was working. Oh, I wish that were true for me! In spite of the 200 0-point foods and the very cool app that tracks your progress and gives you the point score for nearly every single food in the grocery store and item on a menu, I fell backwards off the Weight Watchers wagon at the first sight of the Daylight Donuts in the office break room. I can’t fully blame the doughy sweetness for the weight I had gained since starting this new job, but they were my Monday morning delight. Ugh!

Is this a pure desire or is it fueled by one of the three

studied it in the Greek language to dig out more meaning,

me to be? Check your goal.

on your wish-list? Any place to visit, class to take, healthy

Does it glorify God? Check your focus.

eating goal to set? Maybe your wish list has a Christ-like

How is your peace? While praying about your desire/

characteristic like patience or unconditional love that you

wish do you sense the Holy Spirit’s peace? Colossians

want to be more intentional about developing. Does it

3:15 tells us to let the peace of Christ be the ruler in

include a relationship that needs mended? Maybe it’s a

our hearts—like an umpire—He calls the shots. I

homeless shelter where you’ve been meaning to volunteer

like how the Good News Bible puts it: Let the peace

or that mission trip that tugs on your heart year after year?

of Christ guide you in the decisions you make. And

Maybe you’ve thought about adopting or fostering a child?

the Amplified: Let the peace of Christ [the inner calm of one who walks daily with Him] be the controlling

While the things we wish for might be good, there is one

factor in your hearts [deciding and settling questions

major problem: wishing! We can wish all we want but as

that arise]. This Holy Spirit peace thing is a really big

we know, wishing will get us where? Nowhere! Wishing

deal. Check it.

doesn’t move us toward turning a wish into a reality. If desires stay at the wish-level they have the potential to

Based on the answers to these questions, adjust your

create disappointment. Focusing on what we don’t have,

wish accordingly.

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NOW, STOP WISHING AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. THIS WILL GET YOU STARTED: 1. 2.

Pray. Share your desire with a trusted person. Choose someone who might help you think through the pros and cons or who will give you honest feedback. 3. Create a plan. 4. Pray. How’s your peace? Feeling anxious or excited? 5. Set specific goals. Prioritize them. 6. Break each goal into doable parts. 7. Pray. Listen for the Holy Spirit’s yes, no, or wait. 8. Set a target date. 9. Pray. 10. Get started.

FORGET WISHING.

I contacted CRU—one of my favorite international

Something things you have to make happen—as long as you are in God’s plan for your life. Remember, the main way you know is to follow after His peace and review the 10-point checklist.

ministries—and learned that I could be involved with

As for me, I said goodbye to the Monday morning donuts at the office and went back on Weight Watchers. Taking care of myself and honoring this temple of the Holy Spirit outweighs a donut splurge. We so easily forget the biblical teaching about our bodies being the actual temple or home of the Holy Spirit, whom God sent to actually live inside of us, is actually TRUE! (Check out 1 Corinthians 6:19).

campus ministry while in Paris. Perfect! I can enrich my soul by experiencing the beauty of the God-given talents of the master artists and enrich the souls of those who are new in their walk with Christ. And about that doctorate degree? I applied to several seminaries with plans to start classes in the fall. I will have a total of 5 years to take the classes, then write my dissertation. I love a writing challenge, so I’m in! Wishing didn’t make any of these things happen. Prayer and

I have started a Let’s go to Paris fund—but only after I checked into adding a Kingdom purpose to the trip.

action did. I know that if I can do it, you can do it! Happy wishing and happy creating new realities in your life. †

FOODforTHOUGHT Written by Teresa Goodnight

But I Don’t Want a Birthday My daughter’s birthday is coming up in February. She’s so excited that she just can’t wait.

head out for a life on their own. If they’ve lived in the system long, they have seen it happen to their friends. Can you even imagine the dialogue before they head to bed at night?

I cannot begin to imagine having her be any other way than elated about growing up. Sadly, many children being raised in the “system” fear every passing year when they haven’t been adopted out of the system. Many will simply age out of foster care/group homes by the time they turn 18. There’s actually no set age that marks that emancipation in most states. Children can start being prepped to age out as early as age 13. Whenever that “aging out” begins, they no longer have a chance to have a forever family and

When children age out of foster care, they become ineligible to receive state assistance with housing, food, and medical care under the foster care system. The federal government has tried to help with this problem, but it still exists. Since these children typically suffer the effects of a lack of a stable home environment while growing up, they tend to suffer higher rates of substance abuse, mental illness, teen pregnancy, homelessness, and arrests. Hmmm...I wonder if those things could have been prevented with a little love? †

REMOVING THE BARRIERS: Singles

Yep. You can foster or adopt.

Renters

Nope. You don’t have to own a home.

Dog Owners

Yep. The foster system is fine with your pets.

Older Parents

Bring your wealth of experience.

Starbucks Drinkers Skip a few cups and support someone doing it.

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FEATURE STORY

Written by Ingrid B. Skarstad Williams

Daddy, Where Are You? Reminisce with me for a moment. When you were a kid, did you have a bike? Did you clip playing cards on your bicycle wheels? Wasn’t that cool? If you don’t know the joy of turning your bike into an imaginary motorcycle with just a clothespin and a card, I’ll explain.

We would bend a playing card at one end around the bike frame by the wheel, then pin it so the other end reached into the spokes (Clothespins were in abundant supply then. We dried laundry on outdoor clotheslines back in my childhood days. Nowadays it seems like clothespins are more like crafting supplies!). When the wheel turned, the spokes flipped the card. The sound made it seem like the bike roared to life as a Harley Davidson! Some kids got fancy and pinned several cards on their wheels. Oh the magic of making noise! The louder and more interesting the sound, the more we enjoyed it. Then again, it seems like anything that made noise was fun! But as an adult, the fun doesn’t last when the clatter of living haunts your days (and nights). Every deadline and responsibility is like another card clipped to your wheels—slappety-slap-slap-slapping to demand your attention. They multiply. Even one new event on the calendar can create an array of to-do’s to conquer.

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The growing list of what you should be doing gets noisy. The “shoulds” hit the spokes every

Days are a blur.

time you move forward. The faster you move, the louder they get. That’s a lot of noise! No wonder we have the saying, “Stop the world—I want to get off !”

I race through trying (and failing) to do everything that cries out for attention.

What’s the answer? I reflect back on sentiments I expressed nearly a decade ago. It was

I am reminded of a day when my son was racing in circles on his Big Wheel in the basement. Those things are LOUD! And he was doing a good job of stirring up the noise.

written during days that seemed to hold everything but peace. Thankfully much has changed, and some of it because of the big lessons in that small

Above the clatter of the wheels, I could hear him yelling over and over

moment. I still reflect on that picture of my son on his Big Wheel. It reminds me that no matter

in rhythm with the wheels, “DADDY! WHERE ARE YOU?”

how hard I listen for God’s voice, if I don’t stop

His father answered every time from the floor above,

the noise, I won’t hear Him.

but there was no way he could hear him over the noise he was creating.

GOD IS RIGHT HERE God has our answers—all of them. He is ever The picture seems a lot like me when life is so busy that I feel like I’m running in circles.

He wants us to know His ways, His plan, His

And I am!

purpose, and His peace. So if we need to get

I’m making so much “noise” in my life that I can’t hear the answer to my heart’s cry ... whether it is to know where my Father is, recognize my purpose, feel connected, or simply taste the sweet relief of peace.

present. He is very near. And He is not silent.

quiet to hear our Father’s voice in our lives, it seems to me that it would be of utmost importance to create stillness. How do we do that? The myriad of answers could be dizzying, but I will share one that is simple and visual: stop the noise and listen.

How simple would it be to stop for a moment and ask those questions in silence? Maybe more simple than I realize.

It’s visual to me because I can still see my son riding in circles, loud and unlistening. But there’s more to that little story. After a while of not hearing his father’s responses, my son became a little more frantic. The original singsong, “Daddy, where are you?” escalated with

God has not been silent. I have not been quiet.

punctuated frustration. “DADDY! (clacketygaspy-clack) WHERE (clickety-demandy-click) ARE (clitter-clatter-sobby-click-clack) YO-OO-O-O-O-U?”

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I went halfway down the stairs into the basement to try and relay

I won’t pretend this is easy. They are quite difficult for me! I cannot

the message his dad was sending: “I’m right here!” I saw him zipping

easily stop at home or work. In both places, I have many undone or

and sliding, doing all his fancy Big Wheel maneuvers. He still heard

upcoming things vying for my attention. It’s noisy. But I am learning

nothing, and I was in the same room! I tried to flag his attention from

that if I can quiet myself internally, the external world can keep on

the stairway, but he was too focused. His distress was mounting, so I

spinning and I can carry a stillness of grace and awareness of God’s

stepped into the raceway. Finally he noticed me. It nearly caused an

Spirit with me.

accident, but we are both fast thinkers and movers, so he skidded to a precarious stop as I jumped out of his way. Now he could hear.

2. LISTEN

Can you see yourself or someone you know in that picture? I certainly

Pay attention. After you stop, clear the clutter, and get silent, use

do! I experience times when life is overly busy. It feels like everything

expectation to tie yourself to God and listen. Expect to hear His voice.

will skid out of control if I don’t keep up. So I pedal as fast as I can to

I think of it as simply paying attention inside. Like the melody that

generate momentum. I can’t hear God. I can’t hear the people around

floated up in me when I set my mind on hearing God, the Holy Spirit

me. I may even run over anyone who attempts to intercept me and

can bring things to your remembrance that hold an answer—hope,

speak into my life. Sometimes I crash before I get quiet enough to

strength, instruction, assurance, whatever you need. His Spirit can

hear. But if I would have just slowed down a little, or if I would have

inspire new ideas and direction with things you could know no other

breathed a little more between my “yelling spells” (aka wondering and

way except by God.

complaining), chances are good that I would have heard something from Heaven above or from loved ones nearby.

What if you find you’re too distraught and cannot pay attention or hear? Tie yourself to God’s Word anyway. Find a promise that addresses your

But I’m learning. And I’m sure you’re learning too. We always have the

situation. That “rope of hope” might be your lifeline. Imagine it as if it

choice to stop pedaling, stop complaining, or to take those noisy cards

is holding on to you while a rescue helicopter transports you out of a

off of our wheels. So I want to share my endeavor with you. Won’t you

perilous situation. Silence is worth it. Before you know it, you’ll “wake

join me in this? 1). Stop the noise. 2) Listen.

up” and be able to connect with what you need to see and hear under

1. STOP THE NOISE

the care of the Great Physician.

A) Literally stop. Find a place to unhook from the outside world, even

Listening might sound like a boring activity, but it is the exciting part!

for five minutes. Hit the brakes. Stop pedaling. Park it—figuratively

When we get quiet and can hear God speak? Wow! The adventure

or literally! Don’t try to multitask. Get to a quiet place. Stay there.

begins. It’s like a reward for the hard work of silence. And if you still

A literal parking space in a random lot can be just the place to get

find silence in these times, go ahead and enjoy the rest. Our minds

quiet without interruption.

work hard.

B) Internally stop. Allow yourself a moment to unhook from stress and pressure. Become silent inside. If you can’t get quiet, start handing each thought to God as it comes, then shush your brain when it tries to revisit it. Tell yourself, “God’s holding on to this right now.” Breathe. You can stop pedaling and still have chatter in your head. Is your mind continually crying out, “God, where are You?” Stop and breathe a little deeper. Are to-do lists cycling through your thoughts like those cards on a bicycle wheel? Now is the time to unclip them and cast your care upon to the Lord. He cares for you. He knows your needs. He’s working behind the scenes. Relax.

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Let yourself relax and breathe in God’s presence. Draw near to Him, dear reader, and He will draw near to you. †

SENIOR MOMENTS

Senior Moments, sponsored by Visiting Angels, offering home care with excellent care, exceptional caregivers, efficient communication and an economical cost. www.visitingangels.com 918.609.5600

Written by Teresa Goodnight

Crisis Pregnancy Outreach at 72 ministries to our community. Cheryl said. “We’re not driven

what God calls us to do. It’s amazing to see these girls be transformed.”

by money, because no one gets a salary. At CPO, we’re all

Cheryl went on, “Sometimes they come in so broken and hardened.

volunteers. Each and every one of us has a heart to help women

Then, over time, to see their hearts become soft and eager for the things

and babies God has placed in our path.” CPO doesn’t factor in

of the Lord, completely transformed, there’s nothing quite like that.”

age, ethnicity, spiritual background--they just want to help with unplanned pregnancies.

Right now, Cheryl is searching for a house mom for their Sapulpa home. Cheryl said, “We own a home we bought in 2000, in Sapulpa. We can have 6 girls there comfortably or 8 in a pinch.

They aren’t there to judge, preach or pry. They simply want to help.

It’s a beautiful home. So, hopefully, we will be opening that again soon.” Cheryl said the house mom does live-in 24 hours a day. They are really looking for a woman who is a nurturer. “It’s the biggest thing,” said Cheryl. “These women need someone to really care for them and show them love. Many have never experienced

Help women discover the pregnancy options available and help

that kind of care” she said. For the ones keeping their children,

One month shy of 36 years, that’s how long Cheryl Bauman, now 72, has been operating the Crisis Pregnancy Outreach (CPO) in Tulsa.

pregnant women move forward successfully.

there is government assistance and other programs, but for those

Cheryl said, “In the beginning, we had no idea it would become a large, multi-faceted ministry. We just put one foot in front of the

choosing adoption, Cheryl said, “They have no place to go. The Cheryl says the women who come in are assigned a Christian

vision was that they would have a home after they gave birth to

mentor, who becomes their friend. They can call her day or night to hang

recover and to heal. It’s been so successful.”

out or to go to dinner together. Cheryl says, “Many of the girls who enter our program don’t have moms or they don’t have one who was invested

One story, a girl named Mary, who was homeless and had several

in their lives. Many of them need a woman they can talk to about

children she had placed for adoption. “After she picked her last

general things of life.”

family,” said Cheryl, “We asked Mary to come live in the home. She reminded us she had her tubes tied. So, no more babies. She

Cheryl said, “There are so many opportunities for people to

just wanted to get back on the streets. She was a drug addict. We

volunteer in our organization and make a difference. We are always

told her that we knew. We didn’t want anything from her. We just

needing mentors. Usually those range in age from 25 and up.

wanted to care for her as she recovered from the C-section. She

For a 15 year old girl, a 25 year old mentor has a lot of valuable

finally agreed, but said, emphatically, she was only going to be

experience to share.” Cheryl said, “We’ve had women in their

there for 2 weeks. After a year, she moved out, eventually married,

70’s take on someone to mentor. They are happy to pour into a

and now leads a beautifully successful life in South Tulsa. In fact,

woman’s life and have so much wisdom to offer the girls.” Cheryl

I had the pleasure of attending her celebration of being 10 years

continued, “People get overwhelmed that they need to write these

continued, “We are always needing women to drive women to

sober this past December. She still can’t believe it herself. That’s

policies up right, have 20 meetings and maybe they’ll be ready.

their appointments--once a week or once a month. There’s usually

why we do this.”

Usually those people just don’t get it off the ground. Sometimes

24 hours notice and if it won’t work for the volunteer, we just call

you just have to say we’re willing and away you go.”

someone else. It’s really a low pressure place to take part! We

Cheryl and I talked about their stats, as they have helped over

even have receptionist positions for just 2 hours a week. There are

1,000 women in the last two years. Cheryl agreed, “Sometimes

other and started walking. Immediately, God brought us a teen having twins. She stayed with a family and they mentored her. Then, things just grew from there.” Cheryl’s take is that people just have to be available. She said, “God doesn’t call the equipped. He equips those He calls.” She

That’s what she did. Now, CPO has so many things they offer-everything from parenting education for girls to helping with adoptions. Girls can even see a licensed therapist for free and then, they can continue to do so for the rest of their lives, if they want. The seniors of Tulsa continue to lead the way with their outreach

so many ways to get involved.”

in the Christian population, we get wrapped up in those numbers.

Cheryl said, “I always loved driving the girls. You always have a captive audience. You just sit in the car and visit. It makes such a difference when you are really investing in these other people’s lives. It’s

They do sound nice and they are incredible, but to even just have ONE miracle like Mary, that’s why we’re here. That’s what Jesus did” she ended.

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The age of women being helped in the last years

if that was still the plan. She fired back with

has increased into their 20’s and 30’s. So, their

passion, “I’m pretty healthy. I’ve been thinking

reach continues to expand. They just seek to be

about it. I think I can make it until 80 now. Why

there for women, with love, without judgement.

would I not keep doing it?” I wholeheartedly

It’s a beautiful picture of being Christ in the world. The lives changed, the one life changed, that’s what it’s all about. Cheryl said they host a large gala in the spring to raise funds. There’s a huge silent auction, a live auction with Jay Litchfield, who donates his time to so many charities. Cheryl said, “There’s usually one shout out by Jay, at the end of the evening. One year he asked what we owed on the home for the women. We raised the funds that night to pay it off. It’s just exciting to see what God brings to help us meet the needs of these women.” Cheryl went on, “The last shout out, we started a scholarship fund and we’re sending our girls to dental hygiene school, to TCC, and they are becoming women capable of supporting themselves and their children.” Cheryl couldn’t stop sharing all of the ways they are touching women, even though she was interviewing from

agreed with her. Why wouldn’t she? The conversation turned immediately to seniors and the amazing impact they can have. Cheryl said, “Volunteering with these girls will absolutely revitalize their lives with energy and strength they didn’t even know they had. I see so many people just sit down in retirement and that was not God’s plan for us. I encourage people to come and get involved. Come to a support group meeting. Sit there and hear the girls’ stories. See if you don’t catch the fire.” Cheryl has seen women come to the meeting, then think to themselves, “I just love her. I could have her in my home for dinner.”

Cheryl finished, “There’s just a connection that happens. Do what you are passionate about with what God has given you.

out of town. Her 27th grandchild had just been

Because being a senior doesn’t mean you

born and she was helping with all the kiddos in

stop being a part of things that are important

the house as her daughter recovered. Her energy

to God.” †

at 72 is enviable to say the least! I asked Cheryl about her plans, as she had a birthday since the first time we talked. Cheryl said, “I can’t imagine stopping. I will say to Stephanie Johnson, who runs adoption, ‘Am I still relevant?’ She tells me the girls still love my involvement. I can’t fathom sitting at home and doing nothing. That’s why I keep pushing.” In the fall when we spoke, she thought she could continue to volunteer until 75. So, I asked her

If you would like to explore how you MIGHT get involved, reach out to Jennifer Brown at 918.346.4426 today or check out www.crisispregnancyoutreach. org. Don’t wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow becomes next week. Then next week becomes next year. Do it today!

SAVE THE DATE

March 30, 2019

Crisis Pregnancy Outreach Gala 28

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FEATURE STORY

Written by Betsy Gwartney Catrett

Foster Care Helps Everyone! Yes, EVERYONE! That includes YOU? Well, what does THAT mean? Everyone? You

Randy’s story started when challenged by a friend to attend a Royal

might be thinking “I thought foster care was for

Kids Camp (a camp for foster children). The following year his wife,

abused and neglected children? It even works to

Kim, also attended the camp. That was in 1995-96. It has been non-stop

help bio-parents learn additional skills and to obtain

ever since. Needless to say, “it got in their blood” - so much so that they

resources to reunite families, right? Foster care can lead

shared their experience and thoughts with their church family and had

to adoption for the children into a forever family–yes?” But really, how

literally hundreds get involved in the foster care work. They met with

does THAT help everyone? Follow me for a few as I set this up.

their CA Child Welfare organization, learning the gaps in the program and the various needs they had. Then they created solutions. Eventually,

I met a man nearly 15 years ago along with a few other very inspirational

Randy resigned from the pastoral staff of this large and caring church

people. I worked for Oklahoma Department of Human Services Child

and started Covenant Community Services. At the present time his

Welfare Division (DHS) 15 years ago. I was speaking at a mission’s

organization runs a host of complementary programs serving the

banquet for a local church when someone pressed a piece of paper into

fostering community and is influencing on a national level! Check them

my hand. They said, “Call this man.” So, I did. His name was Randy

out at www.covenantcs.net.

Martin. I was so utterly impressed with what I heard on the phone, that I flew where he lived to meet him and see for myself.

Randy’s story is only one of a myriad of unbelievable stories I encountered in my DHS days. There was a single parent with teenagers.

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Her passion was for babies born to drug addicts. With her dedicated

summer camp, respite care, date night resources, birthday party and

heart, starting one at a time, she helped over 40 babies, many of whom

Christmas gifts, etc. etc. etc. Chris Campbell is heading up a program

needed support during withdrawal from hard drugs used by their

called “111Tulsa” which believes that if every church in OK would

mommy during pregnancy! (40 BABIES!).

support one family as a foster family, to care for one foster child, there would be no children in foster care in OK. Wouldn’t that be a testament

Another family stood out in a completely different way. This

for the “Buckle of the Bible Belt?”

grandmother and grandfather, who moved to Oklahoma for the husband’s work, were living far from their own grandchildren. The

But until that day comes, foster parents are needed, good foster parents

silence of their home didn’t feel like home-so they got involved. The

who can show these kids the love of Christ. What good is just

first children placed in their home came with an opportunity to mentor

talking about it? The magazine’s theme is Go. Do. Be. Why don’t

a very loving mother, who was just not mentally able to care for her

you? Go call DHS. Do request the paperwork to file, find a family

children. This lovely grandparent couple was able to provide a forever

fostering and help support them. The open doors before you are

family for these precious children, but also an understanding and

quite limitless. The biggest surprise you will find is you might not

supportive place for their biological mother and grandmother to come

be changing these children’s lives for the better as much as THEY

and connect. This couple went on to adopt 2 more children into their

are changing yours. Hurt people tend to hurt people. Changed

forever family. This made a whole new second family after guiding their

people tend to change people. Take the first step to heal the hurt and

own 4 children to adulthood.

change the rest of your life AND theirs. †

The last family is one that had a special heart for special needs children.

#GoDoBe

I was totally blown away by their tenacity and love. They were not especially well off, but they were very generous. They remodeled their home and built on extra rooms to accommodate the wheel chairs and special equipment that was needed for the special needs children they served. When I asked the mother of the home about her plans for retirement and how she would care for all these children (who would never be leaving the home), she assured me that she was not worried in the least. Why? Because her own biological children had the same passion as that of her husband and herself. She stated that they were already having lively discussions about who would take whom when they grew up and left home themselves. You may be concerned that you just aren’t cut out to work with abused and neglected children. And, maybe you aren’t. You could be built with totally different gifts. However, everyone can do something. For example, if a couple in your church is willing to take on the day-inday-out responsibilities of a child, you and others in your church could empower them with the diapers, formula, prom dresses, fees for

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ADOPTION PROFILES JHONNY F. (14 YEARS OLD) Jhonny loves to go to the movies in his free time. His favorite all time movie is “Ironman”. He has a friendly smile and big eyes. When asked to describe himself in three words, Jhonny 14 YEARS OLD said “likes to dance.” He would love to have a horse of his own and he wants to be a horse trainer when he grows up. If he could have a car right now, he would choose a race car with blue and white stripes.

JHONNY F.

CONTACT

JOHN B. (16 YEARS OLD)

JOHN B.

This sweet young man is John. He is talkative, respectful and kind. He said that he would love to be able to help others whenever he could. He enjoys basketball and hopes one day to play in the NBA. OLD sport and he is an excellent player. Of all the people It is16hisYEARS favorite in the world, John would like to meet Justin Bieber. He thinks he TO INQUIRE ABOUT JHONNY: CALL TOLL FREE 1-800-376-9729 sings pretty good!! John loves the winter, especially when it snows. And although his favorite season is winter when it comes to travel it would be anywhere they have a beach!! Toll free

1-800-376-9729.

CONTACT

ZAYNA S. (15 YEARS OLD)

Zayna S.

Zayna is in the 7th grade and is quite a well-rounded young lady. She loves going to the lake to swim and fish. She’s creative and likes drawing people. Zayna really enjoys horses, puppies, cats and 15 She YEARS OLD dogs. says if she could have a super power, it would be to be and be able to fly. She would like to travel to Florida by TO INQUIRE ABOUT JOHN: CALL TOLL FREEinvisible 1-800-376-9729 air because she has never been on a plane. Her favorite subject in school is social studies. Zayna likes watching the news.

Toll free

1-800-376-9729.

BLAKE P. (17 YEARS OLD)

CONTACT Toll free 1-800-376-9729.

BLAKE P.

Blake is easy to get to know, and an exceptionally imaginative young man. He enjoys playing video games and reading fantasy novels. He aspires to become a novelist, and is currently working 17 YEARS OLD on his first one —an epic tale about dragons!

TO INQUIRE ABOUT ZAYNA: CALL TOLL FREE 1-800-376-9729

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ADOPTION PROFILES (CONTINUED) JUSTICE K. (17 YEARS OLD) Justice, a very active boy who is interested in many sports – basketball, track and most of all mixed martial arts. He has been seriously involved in Mixed Martial Arts for 3 years. 17 YEARS OLD However, he still loves to play basketball. Although he has a beautiful smile, he does not like to smile in photos. His favorite subject in school is English.

JUSTICE K.

DASHAUNIQUE P. (16 YEARS OLD) CONTACT Toll free 1-800-376-9729.

Dashaunique is an extraordinary young lady with poise and confidence DASHAUNIQUE P.who is creative, athletic and optimistic! She also likes to sing andOLD play volleyball. She likes guinea pigs and hopes to become 16 YEARS an EMT one day. She dreams of going to the beach, more specifically California, someday.

TO INQUIRE ABOUT JUSTICE: CALL TOLL FREE 1-800-376-9729

ASHLEY C. (17 YEARS OLD) CONTACT Toll free 1-800-376-9729.

Ashley is somewhat shy and a loving young lady. She loves to play board and card games such as UNO. Her smile melts your heart. She dreams of going to Mexico someday. 17 YEARS OLD

ASHLEY C.

TO INQUIRE ABOUT DASHAUNIQUE: CALL TOLL FREE 1-800-376-9729

ANDREW N. (15 YEARS OLD) You cannot look at Andrew without first seeing his beautiful smile. It goes along with his upbeat personality and positive attitude, something he prides himself in. Andrew loves traveling and 15 YEARS OLD eating. He enjoys all kinds of music from country to hip hop. Hip hop is his favorite right now. Andrew’s number one wish is to be adopted. He desires to finish high school so that he can pursue his TO INQUIRE ABOUT ASHELY: CALL TOLL FREE 1-800-376-9729 dream of opening a chain of Hair Salons. He knows that people feel their best when they feel beautiful and you always see that when someone gets their hair styled. He loves to see them smile and make their day. He would love to meet Michael Oher because their stories are very much alike, from the streets to adoption! He is believing and staying positive. CONTACT Toll free

1-800-376-9729.

ANDREW N.

CONTACT Toll free

1-800-376-9729.

TO INQUIRE ABOUT ANDREW: CALL TOLL FREE 1-800-376-9729 32

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ADOPTION PROFILES (CONTINUED) ALEX W. (16 YEARS OLD)

ALEX W.

CONTACT Toll free 1-800-376-9729.

Alex is a sweet and respectful young man. He loves science and learning how things are made and come about. He also loves (ALEXANDER) animals like dogs but his favorite is the hedgehog. Alex enjoys 16 YEARS OLD watching anything that pertains to them because he thinks they are incredibly funny and cute. Alex would like to become a Diesel Mechanic and would like to start a rock band where he would be either the lead singer, drummer or the guitarist. If Alex had three wishes they would be to meet Wonder Woman, have a Classic Mustang and start learning how to play music for his band. On Saturday mornings you can find him watching cartoons and showing off that award winning smile of his.

BRADLEY B. (14 YEARS OLD) Bradley is an active boy, plays football or baseball in his spare time TO INQUIRE ABOUT ALEX: CALL TOLL FREE 1-800-376-9729 or he will be on his bicycle. He loves the movie Cars 3 and would like to be in the movie as Justin Bieber’s character. He would like to 14 YEARS OLD own a dog and name it Blackie. His dream job when he grows up is being a race car driver. He would like a Lamborghini, a Charger or a Camaro.

BRADLEY B.

CONTACT Toll free 1-800-376-9729.

TO INQUIRE ABOUT A CHILD: CALL TOLL FREE 1-800-376-9729

TO INQUIRE ABOUT BRADLEY: CALL TOLL FREE 1-800-376-9729

EACH CHILD’S AVAILABILITY TO BE ADOPTED IS SUBJECT TO CHANGE.

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STUDENT IMPACT Written by Teresa Goodnight

Does Knowing What You Believe Matter? Biology, the study of the human body. Anthropology, the study of humankind. Carson Lowe started Biological Anthropology not thinking much more about what to expect than that he was taking a basic course in college. After all, in this age of where we are to accept anything and everything, you would expect a college course to be fair and balanced. Right?

“The professor started the first week in a 250 person class in a big auditorium talking about deities, creationism, and about a creator blatantly saying ‘There is no creator. There is no deity,’” said Carson. Carson said the professor went on, “He explained there is really just no God that created us. My fraternity brother and I looked at each other like ‘Did he just say that? Did he call us out that way?’”

“We had never been told that as a ‘fact’ by an authority figure we were supposed to trust. It just threw me,” said Carson. He followed, “They are so quick to say not to offend anyone with genders or whatever the social issue is—and I’m sitting there as a Christian wondering where the balance is. I wanted to stand up on my table and ‘Oh Captain my Captain’ but the professor was kind of a jerk. He was pretty cold. You could tell he wanted an argument. He would spout off information that was just not true and how there just couldn’t be a God as if he were an authority with facts to back up his beliefs.”

Carson first found himself wondering if the guy had ever seen

Carson believed those years and years of preparation with

the Grand Canyon or the ocean. He said, “God is so evident in

Mr. Madden made such a difference. Carson said, “Those classes

everything around if you look at the complexity of life, but it was

really sparked questions I had thought about before that had gone

a little rattling to experience that kind of forceful declaration from

unanswered until the class. The training inspired me to learn more

a professor. Then, he continues that tone for the whole semester.”

and to pursue my faith as my own. I didn’t realize it at the time,

Carson stayed in the class, but was constantly in awe of the

but they enabled me to be able to stand on my own two feet when

hard-pressed nature of the anti-deity rhetoric he taught. Carson said,

talking about my faith--and in a way that wouldn’t have happened

“I don’t know exactly how God created what He created, but I do

in the church and certainly would not happen in a public school.”

know He did it. So it was something to hear this guy just speaking

It was “years and years and years” of doing school with Mr.

against it with some kind of authority like he could possibly know.”

Madden and the other teachers at Mingo Valley Christian that Carson felt prepared him for what he was facing. Carson said “Mingo Valley

Carson’s foundation with his Christian education at Mingo Valley

went into deep theology for high school. You wouldn’t believe it. I would

Christian laid the groundwork to keep him centered during a time

come home and have these complex conversations with my parents.

of attack. Carson explained his Christian education was spread

Sometimes, I was even explaining some of it to them just because the

throughout his tenure, but it was really ramped up with Nate

theology was advanced stuff.” Carson explained they were really diving

Madden, his Bible teacher. During the college class, Mr. Madden’s

into Calvinism for one. Then, his teachers would dive into some of the

lessons came rushing back to him. Carson said, “Mr. Madden

harder questions about the Christian faith, things he felt they would

taught a theology/world views class his senior year. It was

never get into in church.

basically about understanding your faith, what it is you are saying, and what it is you believe in. We even had classes in years past

Carson continued, “I didn’t realize it while I was there. I really didn’t.

with him about what other world religions believe.” Carson felt he

I was a bit arrogant in high school and I’m probably still a little bit

had been prepared to face this kind of pressure although he

arrogant. I was just going through that information, but I was retaining it,

didn’t really realize it at the time it was happening. He said,

holding onto it, and then in college I was really clinging to it.”

“Mr. Madden taught us exactly what we needed for moments like this. In the class, it was really getting a hold on what I

So I just analyzed everything I was taking in. It was all just

believe and then understanding what others believe so that I

surprising to me. I remember getting out of that class and wanting

can have that conversation with actual knowledge.”

to give Mr. Madden a call and tell him like “DUDE! You prepped

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me for today. I fought something off today and I’m happy about it.”

Carson continued, “When you hear that from an authority figure,

to have so many options. Each one has a different appeal—a

That’s a bold statement considering I go to a good church.

you want to just believe it. I’m a trusting person, some might

different way of being a fit for your child. Large, small, Montessori

I’m in a Christian fraternity. I’m doing all these communities

tease I’m a bit gullible, but when someone tells me something I

style or a specific denomination you prefer--we are truly blessed.

that are about the gospel, but none of them prepared me for the Christian faith more than Mingo Valley, or just Christian

am not very skeptical. I tend to believe what people tell me for the most part.” Then Carson explained, “In my faith, when it comes to

To wrap up, I asked Carson what he felt like was his main

people discussing theology and people discussing God, I have learned

message to the Christian community. Carson immediately

to keep my guard up in ways I don’t do in other areas of my life. I got

replied passionately.

that from Mingo Valley Christian, which is a very hard thing to do. Even when I hear a pastor talk about the Gospel, even when I’m sitting in my church, I’m fact checking and making sure ‘Is this guy preaching truth?’ and taking it to the Bible. It’s not because I don’t trust them, but really it’s because it’s my duty to stay true to scripture above all else.”

It’s amazing to me how much my Christian education from Mingo Valley has played a part in me keeping true with the Gospel. It built the groundwork for me basically to be able to run.

Carson spoke highly of friends in several private Christian schools around Tulsa, confirming how incredibly lucky we are in Tulsa

education has done.

“And, truth be told, I don’t understand if you have the “Honestly I can say this resources to do it—I do wholeheartedly, that Mingo not know why you wouldn’t Valley Christian, or really just Christian education, as a whole, regardless of what school. I think may have been the single most as a Christian parent, if you can, beneficial thing for my faith that it’s almost foolish not to do it. You should do it.”† I have had in my life.

From a Parent’s View As a parent, it was easy to see the plan Carson’s parents and educators were following, “Direct

Whenever He was teaching, He referred the audience to scriptures they had heard or been taught.

your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.” Proverbs

As a group, Christians have to be taught to take it to the Bible.

22:6 (NLT). For Carson, it was a realization after the fact. He said, “I never really knew how they were preparing me. Then, I graduate and a year and half or so later and I’m in this class where my professor says there is no God. I was sitting there thinking immediately ‘What would Mr. Madden say about this? What does the Gospel say about this? What does theology, the Bible—and picking apart the verses and the words of Christ say about this?’” Carson went straight to his foundation, but more than that--he wasn’t just limited to “What did Mr. Madden say?” Carson had been taught how to dig into the Bible and to use the content of the Bible to either prove or disprove what anyone was saying. That skill alone is really priceless. If Christians

Carson and I talked about my former life with Campus Crusade for Christ (now Cru) and just the tendency for students to head off to college not prepared for these type of challenges. Then, when they face the challenges, they can really get all messed up. Carson said, “Absolutely. It happens all the time.” So for him to be able to recount his tale of how he heard it all in high school and now he was able to face down a battle in his mind with an authority figure speaking so boldly against God—challenging his faith, and stay strong. That’s a strength that as a parent, I would move mountains to gain for my own daughter. I want that more for her than I want anything else in her

could get that one thing--we’d be so much stronger.

educational experience, honestly.

I have heard countless people having what they believe is a discussion on the precepts of the

I laughed as Carson started into an incredible sales pitch on why I should choose Mingo Valley

Christian faith, while they never once challenge what the other person is saying with scripture.

Christian for my daughter, who had interrupted his interview more times than I care to count. His

They just share thoughts and opinions. Jesus really made an art of it. Whenever He was

strength of character and conviction alone were all the sales pitch this parent, and likely most

challenged by the Pharisees, He would refer them to a scripture.

Christian parents would need on both a Christian education and on the excellence being created at schools like Mingo Valley Christian. †

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Teacher of the Year: Community Spirit Magazine knows the teachers making the greatest IMPACT on students have a

C O N T E S T

formula all their own. We’d like to honor the top teacher nominated with a spring weekend getaway to Grand Lake to soak up some amazing lake views with a breakfast for 2 from Stuffin’s Café. The house has beds for 12, so they can bring along some friends and family for a little getaway OR they can pretend we never wrote that and enjoy it all by themselves for a truly restful weekend! Students we can’t wait to take your entries into the contest and find the characteristics ringing true across the group. Just hop onto www.communityspiritmagazine.com and go to the student section

Students On Fire

The contest is just getting started as we’re readying the magazine for the February print deadline. Keep the entries coming students. We can’t wait to celebrate your IMPACT on Tulsa!

for the nomination form. Entrants need to include the teacher’s name, school, email, and include a short (or long) write-up on their teacher explaining why they deserve to be honored for their hard

The deadline is February 15. We can’t wait to hear from you!

work and dedication to teaching. Teachers, we think you’re a BIG DEAL. So, we want to make a BIG DEAL out of you!

Faith. Knowledge. Character. K4-12th | MINGOVALLEY.ORG 36

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Maybe This morning I woke up I didn’t expect the day to be any different I mean, yeah, ok. Sure, I pray God will bring me some people They told me to do that--to pray The teachers in the church Where I used to go Back before my parents left me Or were taken I’m not sure I don’t know what I did I just know I try to pray I don’t think I’m bad or anything I don’t think I mean I just do the school thing I don’t play sports They’re kind of a waste of time Who has money for that anyway I just do life On my own I mean I wouldn’t mind if I had some people People who might care if I eat and sleep That’s funny Who am I kidding I do pray though Really I’m not sure why I mean if God were there Wouldn’t He answer me Tell me why I’m alone Tell me about this plan He has for me I just plan to make it That’s my plan Whatever that means On my own I guess Who needs a family anyway No one in here has one Not one that cares anyway I’m just here Maybe, I mean I guess I’m here It’s like people look but don’t see me Who knows Maybe someday Maybe someone would… Oh who am I kidding God meant for me to be alone Without Me But maybe???

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