WEHO DODGEBALL TAKES CENTER COURT
WNBA'S
CANDICE DUPREE
TAKING PRIDE IN SPORTS WEARABLE TECH THE "M" WORD
ROSS MATHEWS TALKS SPORTS JUNE 2016 • VOL. 10 NO. 6 $3.95 • COMPETENETWORK.COM
JUNE 2016
PHOTO BY SEAN MARIER, 839 PHOTOGRAPHY
Volume 10, Issue 6
PUBLISHERS Eric Carlyle • eric@competenetwork.com Patrick Gamble • patrick@competenetwork.com COMPETE MAGAZINE Editor-in-Chief Connie Wardman • connie@competenetwork.com Style Editor Bobby Ciletti • bobby@competenetwork.com Graphic Design Assistant Matt Boyd • mattb@competenetwork.com Field Ambassador Alfonzo Chavez • alfonzo@competenetwork.com Contributors Harry Andrew, Ian Colgate, Jared Garduno, Jeff Hocker, Jeff Kagan, Ali Kay, Miriam Latto, Michael Losier, Kevin Majoros, Charles Naurath, Dr. Rob Elliott Owens, and Brian Patrick Photographers Thomas Fleisher, Leland Gebhardt, Sean Marier and Robert Mercer Sales & Partnerships sales@competenetwork.com Administration Camille Fitzgerald • camille@competenetwork.com Copyright © 2016 MEDIA OUT LOUD, LLC All Rights Reserved. Corporate Office 4703 South Lakeshore Drive, Suite 3 Tempe, Arizona 85282 • 480-222-4223 Compete is a trademark of Media Out Loud, LLC MISSION STATEMENT Compete unites the world through sports.
16 JAKE MASON’S DODGEBALL LIFE 20 SPORTS DIVERSITY KEEPING PRIDE ALIVE 27 ROSS MATHEWS LOVES HIS SEAHAWKS KICK–OFF
11 COMMUNITY HERO Danny Gilmore
12 LEFT FIELD
Speed Read, Grandstanding,Thumbs UP/DOWN
DEPARTMENTS 24 MVP
Jake Mason
30 ATHLETE
WNBA’s Quiet One - Candice Dupree
SPORTS 34 36 38
2016 NAGAAA Cup Winners Pride Bowl IX Hits Chicago Teeing Off with Compete’s Charity Golf Classic
OVERTIME 40 STYLE
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Wearable Tech
42 GYM BAG 44 EVENTS 46 BEDROOM SPORTS
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COVER ATHLETE Jake Mason SPORT Dodgeball PHOTOGRAPHER Sean Marier, 839 Photography
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FROM THE SKYBOX BY ERIC CARLYLE, PUBLISHER/CEO
THE POSITIVE VALUE OF SPORTS RIVALRY
J
@CompeteEric
une is an exciting month for sport’s fans. We’ll see the Golden State Warriors face off against the Cleveland Cavaliers in the National Basketball Association (NBA) finals, the San Jose Sharks battle the Pittsburgh Penguins for the National Hockey League's (NHL) Stanley Cup, the Women's National Basketball Association's (WNBA) season is ramping up and Major League Baseball (MLB) is in high gear. Those following their favorite team or player know the excitement times like this bring. It is a chance for friends to come together and cheer on their hometown team, or even for close friends to sit across from each other rallying for rival teams—all while enjoying each other’s company. It is kind of like life in general, valuing each other for the people we are but expressing our individual ideas and opinions. It represents the positive ideals of diversity, inclusion, equality and acceptance that are part of sports diversity. While it isn’t quite football season yet (though it seems to get earlier each year) there is a classic sports rivalry in the Compete office. Connie Wardman, Compete’s editor-in-chief is a loyal Pittsburgh Steelers fan. I have been a steadfast Dallas Cowboys fan since the late 1970s, watching the Cowboys and Steelers play it out many times. Our inter-office rivalry is the source of lots of friendly banter but never angry exchanges because we genuinely respect and care about each other in spite of our different opinions. Whether your sport is basketball, football, hockey, baseball, soccer or another favorite, getting behind a team effort is usually an enlightening effort. It is what makes the games so much fun and it is the personal relationships built around sports that allow us to appreciate the competitive and non-competitive qualities in our family, friends and coworkers. Sport On,
Eric Carlyle Publisher/CEO eric@competenetwork.com
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FROM THE CATBIRD SEAT BY CONNIE WARDMAN, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
KEEP THE PRIDE ALIVE!
J
une is Pride month and I hope you enjoy this issue. Even though this month marks the 51st anniversary of the Stonewall Riots, there is still a need for Pride. Unfortunately, homophobia and transphobia are still all too visible. We’ve shared with you three stories that illustrate how the sports diversity movement is helping to @CompeteConnie keep the Pride movement relevant in today’s rapidly changing world. In addition to taking a look at WeHo Dodgeball’s accomplishments and its founder Jake Mason, we also have a fun interview with celebrity Ross Mathews who dishes on his love of the Seattle Seahawks. Interviewing him is Michael Losier, the best-selling author on the Law of Attraction and a huge fan of Ross’. For all you flag football fans, there’s a piece on this month’s Pride Bowl IX being held in Chicago by the Chicago Metropolitan Sports Association (CMSA). With 34 teams competing, this will be the largest Pride Bowl in its nine-year history. We also have some pictures from Compete’s 2016 Charity Golf Classic held with the Greater Phoenix Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (GPGLCC). A good time was had by all and money from the event went to Aunt Rita’s Foundation that benefits 17 non-profit HIV/AIDS organizations in Central Arizona. There are also stories of two women of color, both of whom are sports success stories – one is WNBA player Candice Dupree and the other is Danny Gilmore, a certified NBA sports agent. The careers of these two women as well as the people and/or events covered in the other stories in this month’s issue would not have been possible without the groundwork laid by the Pride movement. And now the Stonewall Inn and surrounding areas are about to be designated as the first national monument dedicated to LGBT rights. Keep the Pride alive! Keep Smiling,
Connie Wardman, Editor-in-Chief connie@competenetwork.com
MENTION COMPETE WHEN ORDERING TO RECEIVE A FREE GIFT
COMMUNITY HERO
KICKOFF
Sherri “Danny” Gilmore Certified NBA Sports Agent
D
anny Gilmore is a real-life Jerry Maguire. Hooked by the movie of the same name and its depiction of a sports agent’s life, it really became her career goal. She now works for 610 Sports and Entertainment Management headquartered in Houston and has been recognized as one of the first black females certified by the NBA to represent clients as an agent. As a child growing up in Detroit, she spent the majority of her life outside playing some type of sports. Gilmore says that around seventh- and eighth-grade, sports became a huge part of her life. Although she also did ballet and some cheerleading, when she hit high school she started running track and field as well as cross country. She recalls that this was the time the WNBA was just trying to gain recognition for women’s professional basketball; it was also a time when females interested in any part of male-dominated sports, let alone player contract negotiations, were considered a HUGE “no-no.” But Danny Gilmore isn’t someone to walk away from a challenge. She went to college at Johnson & Wales University in Miami, being graduated in 2011 with a B.S. degree in Sports and Entertainment Management. She’s now working on her master’s degree in Sports Psychology. The best thing about making sports her career? Gilmore says because she loves it so much, it doesn’t feel like she’s working. She says she lives by the quote, “No matter what work you do, if you aren’t doing what you love then you aren’t successful.” For eight years she worked at American Airlines Arena for the NBA’s Miami Heat and, as a 19-year-old college sophomore, she worked in the VIP/Premium department assisting premium season ticket holders who attended Miami Heat basketball games and events. Gilmore’s special guests included music celebrities, movie stars, CEOs of huge fortune 500 companies, famous directors and even players’ families who attended games. “I was thrilled to go to work,” she said “because I knew every day was different and brought a new adventure.” It’s no wonder she says it had to be the best time of her young sports career. After earning her undergraduate degree, Gilmore took an internship at an NFL agency and was living in New York with a group of roommates, one of whom was gay. Saying he was the funniest guy she ever met, it was when she started to learn about the LGBT community and how many of them
are shunned by their families for being true to themselves by being open about their sexuality. She and her roomie became close friends, going everywhere together. When one of their close friends was diagnosed as Photo courtesy of Danny Gilmore HIV-positive, she realized how important it was to be supportive because at the time, it was still considered an automatic death sentence. The experience led her to volunteer with various LGBT outreach programs and she still remains close to her friends she met there. Gilmore said that her agency, 610 Sports is in full support of the LGBT community. When asked about her favorite sport, Gilmore started to laugh, saying “I love the game of football. It's super intense and the bright lights of the stadium instantly catch my attention.” She explained that when she was a cheerleader growing up, “I cheered for football and I've loved it ever since,” confessing that “sometimes I feel like I’m ‘cheating’ on my first love in sports which was basketball.” She was reluctant, though, to talk about a favorite pro or college team. The closest she’d come was saying the Miami Heat because she once worked for them and the Cleveland Cavaliers because Kyrie Irving is one of her favorite players. But there’s more than just sports to Danny Gilmore. Working out of Houston, Detroit and Las Vegas, she is a community teen mentor for the Boys and Girls Club of Southern Nevada. She’s also interested in arts and culture as well as animals, saying with a laugh that people rarely believe her when she says she loves animals more than people. In addition to loving time to play with her own dogs, she says she’s obsessed with animal welfare, doing a lot of research on how she can help animal foundations. When asked about her role models, she says her mom is her biggest role model – “I’ve watched her raise me while working, holding a high position with a worldwide organization, volunteering at (what seemed like) a million events and charities.” Gilmore also lists her partner Corey McCoy, founder of the 610 Sports and Entertainment Management as her second role model. Calling him a true leader and one of the best men she’s ever worked around, she says that he’s guided her and shown her the business ropes. Our congratulations go to you, Danny Gilmore, for being such an supportive and devoted community hero!
DO YOU KNOW A COMMUNITY HERO? Community Heroes is a regular feature in Compete Magazine. Nominate deserving individuals by emailing us at heroes@competenetwork.com and include a brief biography of or a link to your nominee.
www.CompeteNetwork.com
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KICKOFF
LEFT FIELD
SPEED READ STONEWALL INN AREA TO BECOME FIRST NATIONAL MONUMENT DEDICATED TO LGBT RIGHTS
President Barack Obama is preparing to designate the Stonewall Inn the first U.S. National Monument to gay liberation. The historic designation will include the Stonewall Inn bar, Christopher Park, a small green space across from the bar and parts of the surrounding area. According to Amanda Degroff, spokeswoman for the interior department, Obama “has made clear that he’s committed to ensuring our national parks, monuments and public lands help Americans better understand the places and stories that make this nation great.” The Stonewall Inn became a New York City landmark last June.
NBC SHARES SUMMER OLYMPICS COVERAGE WITH SNAPCHAT NBC has owned the television rights to broadcast the Summer Olympics in the U.S. since 1988. In an effort to reach young smart phone users, though, for the first time NBC is going to share footage with Snapchat. NBC retains all rights to live coverage and won’t charge Snapchat for video rights, instead splitting ad revenue with Snapchat but retaining the rights to select the advertisers. Snapchat has permission to air highlights and behindthe-scenes video from Rio with content featured on the app’s list of Discover channels which currently host content from other companies like ESPN and BuzzFeed. Key features of the app include short, self-erasing photos and videos on a mobile device, something that gives young cord-cutters a chance for a first-hand look at events as well as what’s going on in the Olympic village and in Rio.
SPAIN’S FIRST OPENLY GAY SOCCER REFEREE QUITS DUE TO HARASSMENT Jesús Tomillero, Spain’s first openly gay soccer referee has decided to call a halt to the job he loves due to what’s been described as a string of homophobic verbal assaults. The most recent abuse by a fan was Tomillero’s final straw, saying his experience in soccer has been “humiliation after humiliation.” The Andalusian Football Federation has now decided to punish the fan, fining him the equivalent of $170 U.S., a sum Tomillero believes is “shameful” but says he was becoming used to events like this one.
SUSPENDED MARIA SHARAPOVA STILL NAMED TO RUSSIA’S OLYMPIC TENNIS TEAM Even though tennis great Maria Sharapova has been provisionally suspended pending a ruling by the International Tennis Federation for failing a doping test at the Australian Open in January, she has been named as one of four members
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of Russia’s women’s singles tennis team headed to the Olympics in Rio. She tested positive for taking meldonium, a drug that was just banned the beginning of 2016, at the Australian Open back in January. Claiming to have taken the drug for 10 years for medical purposes, Sharapova claims she didn’t know it had been banned for 2016. The drug increases blood flow, which in athletes can improve exercise capacity. It’s normally used to treat a lack of blood flow to parts of the body, particularly for angina or heart failure. Manufactured in Latvia, meldonium is distributed only in Baltic countries and Russia. Shamil Tarpishchev, an International Olympic Committee (IOC) member and president of the Russian Tennis Federation, explained that they need to announce team members by June 6. The other women on the team are Svetlanad Kuznetsova, Anastasia Paylyuchenkova and Daria Kasatkina. If Sharapova’s suspension is upheld, her place in the team will be taken by Ekaterina Makarova, the fifth ranked female Russian player.
WADE DAVIS ON “THE MASK OF MASCULINITY” If you haven’t watched it yet, openly gay former NFL player Wade Davis did a Tedx Talk on “The Mask of Masculinity” at the University of Florida’s Tedx conference in March. His short entertaining and insightful talk is available to view on You Tube at www.youtube.com/watch?v=umKKrbmdHFM. Davis is also the executive director of the You Can Play Project.
JENNIE FINCH AND JUSTINE SIEGAL – BOTH MAKING BASEBALL HISTORY Justine Siegal and Jennie Finch, both well-known ball players in their own right, are making baseball history this summer by being asked to guest manage independent minor league level baseball teams. Fast pitch legend Jennie Finch, star of USA Softball and Olympic softball gold medalist in 2004 and silver medalist in 2008, was asked to be guest manager for the day for the Atlantic League’s Bridgeport Bluefish on May 29 as they beat the Southern Maryland Blue Crabs 3-1. Finch also threw out the first pitch and held a pre-game talk with the fans. She joins the Bluefish’s other guest managers, Pete Rose and Paul O’Neil. Justine Siegal has coached baseball for decades and has thrown batting practice to multiple MLB teams in the past. Last year she was an instructional coach for a two-week period with the Oakland Athletics. On June 29-30 she’ll suit up as manager for the San Rafael Pacifics Baseball Club as they play the Sonoma Stompers. Through her organization Baseball for All she promotes gender equality in sports.
GRANDSTANDING LETTERS TO COMPETE MAGAZINE
SWIM TIME (May 2016) Saw the article in Compete that just came out. Nice work! This is perfect timing. As you may know, recently the International Gay & Lesbian Aquatics (IGLA) reached out to U.S. Masters Swimming (USMS) who hosted their National Championships in Greensboro, N.C. We didn't ask them to cancel the two-year previously selected and planned event, but rather we made a public statement condemning N.C.'s HB2 law, making sure that future USMS Nationals bids not be awarded to states with anti-LGBT laws in place. Also, one of our members made t-shirts that were distributed and worn at Nationals promoting love not hate. They were a hit!
Kris Pritchard, IGLA
COMPETE READER SURVEY Favorite Baseball Movie
Bad News Bears 19% A League of Their Own 34%
Bull Durham 26% Field of Dreams 21%
Washington, D.C. (via email) Editor’s Note Thank you for your letter, Kris. We love hearing from sports teams, leagues and organizations and invite other groups to reach out to us. TALK TO US! Submissions to Compete should include the writer’s name, address and contact phone number and should be sent by email to letters@competenetwork.com. Letters may be edited by Compete and become the property of Media Out Loud, LLC.
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KICKOFF
QUIZ
THUMBS UP THUMBS DOWN SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS CEO JED YORK … for donating $75k to Equality North Carolina to oppose the state’s homophobic HB2, saying discrimination is wrong anywhere in the U.S. He called on the state’s governor and legislative leadership to repeal the law.
ROMEO PARKES OF THE UNITED SOCCER LEAGUE’S PITTSBURGH RIVERHOUNDS … for intentionally kicking Karl Ouimette of the New York Red Bulls II in the back after both players had been given red cards for a separate incident. The Riverhounds terminated Parkes contract.
?
Q. A Los Angeles gay bar, the Black Cat Tavern was raided by police in 1966. Patrons fought back and two of them were so enraged they began a publication for the gay population of Los Angeles. The magazine eventually became one of the largest LGBT magazines. What is its name? A. The Advocate.
SPORTS
Source: tangentgroup.org
CYD ZEIGLER, CO-FOUNDER OF OUTSPORTS.COM … for the release of his new book, "Fair Play," telling how sports for LGBT athletes has been radically transformed over the past four years.
THE LOS ANGELES RAMS … for donating equipment to the Grover Cleveland High School in Reseda, Calif. after vandals had stolen almost $8,000 the school’s football team had raised to buy equipment. Rams DE Robert Quinn and team mascot Rampage also took pictures with the kids.
Pictured above, Henry Beam, Beam Law, PLC
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WeHo Dodgeball Courts
the
Community
PHOTOS BY SEAN MARIER, 839 PHOTOGRAPHY
W
est Hollywood, better known as WeHo is home to WeHo Dodgeball, Southern California’s premier adult co-ed dodgeball league. Formed by Jake Mason in September of 2012 with the purpose of being more community-oriented, it’s one of the reasons that the league has grown so quickly. And the community has responded positively to the league’s local efforts that are actually a part of its charter by offering special discounts for league members. There’s another reason why this league is so successful. They like to have fun, a common reason given by ally athletes as to why they like to play on gay teams and leagues. If you look at WeHo Dodgeball Rules, you’ll find this:
LET’S HAVE FUN! "First and foremost, all of us are here to have fun. While dodgeball can be a competitive sport, it is important to remind ourselves that we are all adults running around in silly outfits while throwing rubber balls at each other. Please try to maintain a level head and a positive attitude at all times. Violent and aggressive behavior will not be tolerated at any time.”
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Its community involvement and sense of fun combine in many of the projects the team gets involved in. The league holds a charity fundraising event every three months and the Halloween event is always “costume required.” Other events have included participating in Pride, AIDS/ LifeCycle and pancreatic cancer events and fund-raisers, for example. They even brought two Special Olympians from Singapore to Los Angeles for the Special Olympics. But the main attraction for the athletes is still playing dodgeball. In addition to seasonal weekly play at various Los Angeles sports facilities, the league also plays in the WeHo Sports Festival over the Labor Day weekend, the Sin City Shootout in Las Vegas over the Martin Luther King Jr. weekend and also has a traveling team for the more elite tournaments that go on throughout the year. With all this, it’s no wonder that WeHo Dodgeball is building a global brand. So our congratulations go to Jake Mason, Compete Magazine’s 2015 Mark Bingham Athlete of the Year, and all the members of WeHo Dodgeball for combining the best of sport, community service and fun.
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Sports Diversity – Keeping the Pride Alive
R
ecognized as the official Pride month, June is filled with parades, races and sports tournaments of all sorts. It’s a fun-filled time most of us don’t think a lot about. However, back in 1969 being outed was a terrifying prospect – something that literally could ruin your life, personally and especially, professionally. But it was a series of spontaneous riots that took place at the Stonewall Inn in New York City’s Greenwich Village neighborhood that laid the groundwork for Gay Pride, what many take for granted today. Known today as the Stonewall Riots, it’s acknowledged as the first time in American history that the LGBT community rose up in protest against government-approved persecution of sexual minorities. And one of the outcomes of those riots was the creation of Gay Pride, an annual event that proclaims to the world at large that:
1. people should be proud of their sexual orientation and gender identity
2. diversity is a gift, and 3. sexual orientation and gender identity are inherent and can't be altered intentionally.
Courtesy of Shamey Cramer
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By Connie Wardman LGBT athletes have always played sports but most of them, especially professional athletes, felt they needed to be closeted for their personal and professional protection and safety. As the Pride movement began to grow, gay sports teams and organizations began to be slightly more open. But what really launched gay sports into the public eye was the first Gay Games held in San Francisco in 1982. Following his experience as an Olympic decathlon participant, Dr. Tom Waddell had a vision of gay athletes being able to experience the same meaningful enjoyment he had gotten from being an Olympian. From that idea of an Olympic-inspired competitive sports festival for the LGBT community was born the Gay Games, using as its banner Waddell’s founding principles of Participation, Inclusion and Personal Best™. Originally called the Gay Olympics, posters were printed using that title. But the name was changed to the Gay Games after the U.S. Olympic Committee sued Waddell for use of the Olympic name. And on May 15, 1982 one gay transplant from the Midwest by the name of Shamey Cramer walked into the Mother Lode bar in West Hollywood to use the pay phone. When he saw the Gay Olympics poster hanging there, he experienced a life-changing “aha” moment. “I knew instantly my calling had found me,” Shamey recalls. He’d been a cross-country runner in high school and also had begun cycling, a sport he really enjoyed.” And thanks to prompting and support from U.S. Olympian and human rights lawyer Susan McGreivy, two weeks later he founded Team Los Angeles as they prepared to participate in Gay Games I. He also became a charter member of the International Gay Olympic Association (1982-85) that was created with Dr. Waddell. It is thanks to the gay athletes-turned-activists like Shamey Cramer (or activists-turned-athletes) who have continued to keep the Pride alive for new generations of LGBT athletes. But it’s also straight or ally athletes who have joined in, declaring to the world at large that sexual orientation and gender identity have absolutely no bearing on an athlete’s ability to play the sports of his or her choosing. No longer limited to just the gay sports community, it is now the sports diversity community that continues to keep the Pride alive. This expanded sports community truly is diverse, containing professional, recreational and Olympic gay athletes as well as professional, recreational and Olympic straight athletes, all working within their own areas to eliminate the once-inescapable stigma of being a gay athlete. Some make it a life-long commitment
to the LGBT community overall, some work specifically in one segment of the community while others face an unexpected problem and become a visible face and voice for sports diversity. Here are three stories illustrating the different approaches by individuals and organizations to the wonderful work that continues to keep the Pride movement not just alive but also relevant.
Shamey Cramer with champion diver Jordan Pisey Windle. Courtesy of Shamey Cramer Shamey Cramer – The Lifelong LGBT Community Activist Since Shamey’s initial connection to the inaugural Gay Games in 1982, he has continued to be involved in gay community activism, mainly but not limited to a sports connection. At the end of 1985 he was diagnosed as HIV-positive and he says that a combination of good genes, eating well and keeping his body fit has made him one of the few diagnosed in that era who is still alive. Some of Shamey’s accomplishments include founding the Los Angeles 2006, Inc., a finalist-bid for Gay Games VII, mapping out the route for the first California AIDS Ride in 1992 as well as being a rider and fundraiser for the event. He joined the West Hollywood Aquatics water polo team in 2000 and medaled at two International Gay & Lesbian Aquatics championships playing goalie, even as a fill-in goalie in one competition for the Sydney Stingers Waterpolo team. He’s also an avid cycler. Shamey even moved temporarily to Washington, D.C. to lobby for passage of the HOPE Act in 2013 that enabled HIV-positive organ donation for transplant use for HIVpositive people. It’s estimated to save 600-1,000 lives a year. As a member of the Federation of Gay Games board and assembly since 2010, he has traveled the globe in support of the organization’s mission of Participation, Inclusion and Personal Best™. Most recently Shamey returned
from Cambodia on a Gay Games promotion tour along with 17-year-old champion diver Jordan Pisey Windle. A Cambodian orphan, Windle was adopted at age two by U.S. citizen Jerry Windle. Hoping to represent the U.S. in the Rio Olympics in August, he’s been trained by a number of top divers, including Greg Louganis. Chris Mosier – Changing the Rules for Transgender Athletic Competition One of the most visible and effective change agents for transgender athletes is trans man Chris Mosier. He has always loved sports but he was frustrated by the lack of visible role models for transgender athletes. And as a triathlete and sprint duathlete, he was also frustrated by restrictive transgender competition rules. While he has many other accomplishments to his name, Chris lives his life by the motto he reads every day: “Be who you needed when you were younger.” Many organizations used the original International Olympic Committee (IOC) transgender competition guidelines that required athletes to change their sex legally, to be on hormone replacement therapy (HRT) for at least two years and the most troubling, the requirement to change their sex anatomically by undergoing gender reassignment surgery. But it was Chris’ seventh-place finish in the men’s 35-39-age-category at the Duathlon National Championship in June 2015 that propelled his desire to change the rules for trans athletes into overdrive. In a ground-breaking moment, Chris earned a spot on the national men’s duathlon team competing for Team USA. But while he was supposedly eligible to participate with his teammates at the 2016 World Duathlon Championship in Spain this month, it was only IF his sport’s
Courtesy of Chris Mosier
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governing body, the International Triathlon Union (ITU) changed its eligibility rules. Fortunately, due to growing medical research data on trans athletes and Chris’ willingness to be a visible role model for other trans athletes, in November 2015 the IOC changed its guidelines for transgender athletes, and the ITU followed suit. Now, for those whose sports use the IOC guidelines, trans athletes will be allowed to compete without having the previously-required external and internal gender reassignment surgeries and their HRT time requirement has also been lowered from two years to one. This means that Chris is now part of Team USA competing in the spring world championship at the 2016 World Duathlon Championship June 4-5 in Aviles, Spain. And in even better news, Chris has earned his second national team berth at a recent race in North Carolina and in 2017 he’ll be competing in the long-course world championship. IGLA – Standing Against North Carolina’s Political Homophobia The International Gay & Lesbian Aquatics (IGLA) organization is considered the world’s foremost international organization promoting aquatic sports for LGBT athletes and their friends. With a long history of inclusion and equality, the organization’s worldwide Master's-level aquatics divisions include swimming, water polo, synchronized swimming and diving. This year the U. S. Masters Swimming (USMS) Spring National Championships were scheduled to take place April 28-May 1 in Greensboro, North Carolina, a competition that draws many IGLA members. But when the North Carolina general assembly and governor passed anti-LGBT House Bill 2 (HB2) in March, members realized there was trouble. David Hildebrand and Louis Thorpe, one a current, the other a former member of Team New York Aquatics (TNYA), brought it to the attention of the IGLA board. Board co-presidents Kris Pritchard from the Washington Wetskins team and Elisabeth Turnbull-Brown from TNYA sent a letter to USMS CEO Dawson Hughes. Recognizing that USMS selects competition sites two years in advance, the group didn’t ask for the competition to be canceled but instead asked USMS to issue a public statement condemning North Carolina’s HB2 law. They also asked that in the future, USMS Nationals bids not be awarded to states with anti-LGBT laws in place and to inform North Carolina of that decision.
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Courtesy of IGLA Prior to the start of the Nationals competition, Hughes responded positively to their letter, praising the long-standing strong relationship between the two organizations. He also noted that USMS had already been in contact with the host committee and received assurance that all contestants would be protected under the USMS rules that include gender and sexual identity. The organization also said they were including a message regarding the situation in their pre-event email to the approximately 1,800 Nationals participants. (To read both letters in full, go to: www.igla. org/2016/04/letter-to-u-s-masters-swimming-concerningspring-nationals-in-greensboro-nc/) And on another front, IGLA member Kristin Gary created a t-shirt logo that read, “H2O NOT HB2. SWIM FOR LOVE. NOT HATE.” Once at the competition she and a very supportive man not part of an IGLA team helped distribute the shirts. Any money collected was donated to an appropriate cause in North Carolina. Kudos to IGLA and its members, both gay and straight for taking an unexpected negative event and addressing it in a positive way by standing up against homophobia. So during this year’s Pride celebration in your area, whether you’re playing a sport, marching in a parade or just hanging out with friends, please take a moment to give thanks to the Shamey Cramers, Chris Mosiers and IGLAs in our inclusive sports diversity community who have stepped up to the plate. Thanks to them, they’re keeping the Pride alive in 2016 and beyond.
ATHLETIC ACHIEVEMENTS: Created the largest LGBT dodgeball league in the U.S.
GREATEST PERSONAL ACHIEVEMENT: Surviving to be 36! Also creating WeHo Dodgeball.
SPORTS PLAYED: Dodgeball and volleyball.
WHY I LOVE SPORTS: I LOVE that sports can bring a bunch of people together. I’ve met some of my best friends through dodgeball and we are really one big family.
BEST PHYSICAL FEATURE: My legs.
INTERESTS: Dodgeball, dancing, volleyball, comics and movies.
FAVORITE ATHLETE: Robbie Rogers.
RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Partnered.
SPORT: Dodgeball.
CURRENT RESIDENCE: West Hollywood (WeHo), California.
HOMETOWN: Sacramento, California.
AGE: 36.
JAKE MASON
TEAM COMPETE MVP
To be included in our MVP section, e-mail: MVP@competenetwork.com
Photos by Sean Marier, 839 Photography
PHOTO BY GREGG FELSEN
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INTERVIEW
ROSS MATHEWS – FROM INTERN TO SUPER SPORTS FAN AND OFFICIAL GAY SUPERHERO BY MICHAEL LOSIER I WAS THRILLED WHEN COMPETE ASKED ME TO interview openly gay personality Ross Mathews. I have been a long-term fan of Ross. I've admired his courage and bravery to just be himself so I was happy to learn more about him, especially his passion for the Seattle Seahawks. Michael Losier: I’m so excited to talk to you. You are the first official gay superhero. You’re talented, you’re courageous, brave, focused and determined. I love how you love yourself, and honestly, the way you love your dog, the way you love Salvador [stylist Salvador Camarena], the way you love your trivia and interestingly, the way you love the Seahawks. Ross Mathews: Yes, you know I love hard. I’m glad you finally said I’m a gay superhero — someone had to say it. Really, I do love hard and you know I have loved the Seahawks, literally, since before I could talk. ML: Good for you. I have a personal question about the Seahawks. You know sports teams are needing to become more conscious about diversity and about being gayfriendly. You know sports diversity is what Compete Magazine is based on and they’re doing a lot of great work on that. So tell me about the Seahawks’ diversity toward their audience, someone like you and me. Do you want to tell me a little bit about that? RM: Oh, well I never thought about it – it just never occurred to me that I couldn’t be a sports fan and it also never occurred to me that the Seahawks would ever know who I was. But I’m lucky enough now that the Seahawks and I tweet each other every game day. On my last birthday they posted a big “Happy Birthday, Ross” on Instagram.
I also know that for Pride they changed their Twitter avatar to a Seahawk rainbow. They’ve been really inclusive and I think it’s important. Just like sports, the NFL in particular has really had to step it up in terms of talking about women’s issues and appealing to women, broadening that message. I think the NFL, especially the Seahawks have done a good job of broadening their message to the LGBT community. ML: Yes, and I also like what the Seahawks are doing with you. They’re doing it not just because they want publicity so they can get in the paper; they’re doing it because they like you, right? You’ve done a great job. I’m just so proud of you; you’re a really hard worker. RM: Thank you. ML: Tell me who your favorite Seahawks player is. RM: Well, I love Russell Wilson because he’s an incredible athlete and competitor. And he’s gorgeous! But my favorite Seahawk probably has to be Jon Ryan. I met him on the sideline at the NFC championship game the year the Seahawks won the Super Bowl playing against San Francisco. He came up to me and we started talking. He said you know who you guys could hook me up with is one of your co-hosts from “Chelsea Lately,” Sarah Colonna. I said if you win this game, tweet me and I’ll tell her she has to date you. So they did, he did, I did and now they’re engaged and I’m performing the ceremony in Cabo this summer. ML: Wow, that’s great. You’re so embraced by everybody – I really love that. Now I want to ask
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INTERVIEW
you a couple of Hollywood questions. Lets’ talk about “E! Live from the Red Carpet.” Tell me something people might want to know. Who was your favorite person to interview on the red carpet? RM: Ever since I was a little kid I used to dream about being on the red carpet. I used to watch the Golden Globes and Oscars at my house up in Mount Vernon, Washington. I remember my mom bought me an old red towel from the thrift store and we put that down on the front porch. ML: I can picture that towel wrapped around you like you were dressing up for the Oscars.
ML: I can see how you have attracted one thing after another. And when things changed, like the Chelsea Lately thing, that wasn’t a sad time for you. It’s like you knew that there were other things. You just keep attracting great things; you do such great work with your body. So tell me about your attractions. Would you say you’re a good attractor? RM: Well, I’m really good at pivoting. Pivot really is a motto of mine. You know, I think in life successful people don’t question why, they just pivot and adjust and make the best of. ML: Yes, saying “that’s what happened, let’s move on.” RM: Well in addition to “that’s what happened, let’s move on,” there’s also “here’s what the universe is giving me so how can I make this the best possible thing so the universe will give me something else and something more.”
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ML: I want to acknowledge the work you’re doing with your workout. I’ve been following you for awhile. I see you taking pictures of your food and you’re eating healthy. Tell me two things you’re doing that are really helping you.
“here’s what the universe is giving me so how can I make this the best possible thing so the universe will give me something else and something more.”
RM: Oh, no. We put it down as our red carpet. So I’ve always been obsessed with it. What I love about the red carpet is that it’s every bit as glamorous as you’d ever wanted it to be. But the stuff that I kind of get a kick out of – you look to the left and you see glamorous movie stars; you look to the right and you see porta potties. You know, it really helps keep you grounded, like you still exist in this world.
ML: I love that.
RM: You know, I also think when you do that, you never find yourself confined in a box because you reveal different aspects of yourself as you go along, and suddenly you become multi-faceted. Who would have thought 14 or 15 years ago that Ross the Intern could have had a career this long. But I always knew I would because I knew what was there – I just had to show other people
RM: Well, I’ve done every diet – I’ve done it on TV, I’ve done it in private – I mean everything you can think of, I’ve done. And the reason that this is working for me is because I told myself I can eat as much as I want. I’m eating as much protein and vegetables as I want as well as a limited amount of fruit. Another is keep moving. When you call your mom, walk around the neighborhood. Just when you would be sitting, try to move. So I’ve done that, and since mid-November I’ve lost almost 45 pounds. I’m almost under 200 pounds and that’s a good place for me. ML: Just when I think you’ve covered all the ground, you’re on to something else. So tell me a big project you’re working on. RM: Well, “Hollywood Today Live” is my daily gig and it’s something I always wanted. Ever since I was a little kid I wanted to be on live TV during the day and talk to big celebrities. I’ve been in late night for 15 years so to now be coast-to-coast, across the nation every morning live, where they can’t tell me what I can and cannot say is wonderful. I wake up in the morning and I don’t know who I’m going to talk to. Like yesterday I talked to Marsha Clark from the O.J. Simpson trial, today I interviewed George Lopez. ML: Wow. Congratulations on all of your success Ross. This has been fascinating. You are truly the first gay superhero. Thank you.
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ATHLETE
CANDICE DUPREE – PHOENIX MERCURY’S QUIET ONE BY BRIAN PATRICK THE 2016 SEASON MARKS THE 20TH anniversary of the Women’s National Basketball Association (WNBA), and as a long-time favorite sport of the LGBT community, in particular, there’s a lot of anticipation about this season and how some of the recent WNBA championship teams will fare. Although off to a slow start for the 2016 season, the Phoenix Mercury still has the talent to win the WNBA championship this year, just like they did in 2014. The starting five from the 2014 team are still there and all of them are champions – Diana Taurasi, Penny Taylor, DeWanna Bonner, Brittney Griner and Candice Dupree. But of the five, Dupree (or “Pre” as her teammates call her) is the quiet one, someone I wanted to know better. Now in her tenth season, the 6-foot-2 power forward is still going strong. Selected sixth overall in the first round of the 2006 WNBA draft by the Chicago Sky, Dupree moved to the Mercury in 2010, bringing along her ability to execute plays with quiet consistency. From her college days at Temple University to her WNBA career, she has won almost every honor and award that can be given. And from rebounding, to double-doubles, to field goals and free throws, she’s also garnered a number of franchise records. And that doesn’t even account for the numerous awards and honors she’s earned for her overseas play. But Dupree isn’t what I consider to be a so-called “typical” professional athlete. I’ve met lots of pro athletes over the years and it can be hard to find ones who didn’t spend most, if not all their young years dreaming of a professional career. It can be almost as hard to find ones who don’t have a lot of ego involved in being an elite professional athlete and the perks it provides. So when I had a recent opportunity to talk with Dupree, I asked her some questions that she said she doesn’t often get asked. Dupree said she never dreamed of a pro career; really never thought about it until her junior year in college even though her talent had earned her a full basketball scholarship to Temple. “I played basketball in high school and college because I was good at it and it was something to do.” Clearly, Dupree doesn’t fit the expected mold. In a telling 2014 quote she gave Philip Hersh of the Chicago Tribune, she said "I don't want to be that player who gets 20 points one game and four or five the next. I was always taught fundamental basketball – nothing flashy, be consistent, take shots I know I can make, get the job done."
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Photo by Barry Gossage/NBAE via Getty Images When I asked her about the Mercury’s chances of winning the WNBA championship this season, she said they didn’t start the season well but she thinks that once they get their rhythm back, they’ll surprise people and wind up in the finals. Mercury head coach Sandy Brondello is in agreement, saying “It’s more about just playing the game and taking great shots every possession. It’s just them playing together, playing basketball, sharing the ball, taking great shots.” (Continuned on page 32)
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ATHLETE
Unlike her teammates Taurasi and Taylor who only played overseas in 2015, skipping the WNBA season to rest their bodies, Dupree played both home and abroad last year. So there’s been a whole season where only three of the five starters were able to reinforce their playing rhythm. Brondello acknowledges the massive talent in the team’s starting Fab Five and the rest of the team, noting that “Champion players don’t make a championship team. If you’re not on the same page, you’re not going to win.” But she also says, “I don’t think we’re on the same page quite yet, but I know we’re capable of getting there.” I asked Dupree how she’s holding up. Since she’s been playing for 10 years in the WNBA as well as in the off-season for teams in Russia, Slovakia and Poland, I wondered if she’s now thinking about retiring. Saying that she’s always said she “won’t play till the wheels fall off,” she admitted that she’s thought about it. But Dupree isn’t ready to take any action yet. Maybe within the next two years she’ll consider playing only stateside or only abroad to reduce the yearround wear and tear on her body and go from there. Asking her how she takes care of herself to maintain such a grueling year-round schedule, Dupree says she makes sure she’s in the weight room every day to stay strong. She’s also much more conscious about her diet these days, noting that she’s moved away from the junk food she used to enjoy, like chips, soda and French fries. We also talked about how play has changed over the last 10 years and she immediately said it’s the increased athleticism of the women coming in; they’re taller and stronger. Plus Photo by Barry Gossage/NBAE via Getty Images the pace of the game has increased – you’ve got to be able to keep up with them. And what will she do when she finally decides to retire? Although it hasn’t been decided yet, it will likely be something entrepreneurial. Dupree already owns an Apricot Lane Boutique franchise, a women’s clothing and accessory store in her hometown of Tampa with her twin sister, Crystal. And because of an interest in real estate, she and her mother bought several properties and did the physical work to flip them (it wasn’t as much fun as she thought it would be) in addition to owning a rental property. She’s also considered opening her own workout facility. Yes, Candice Dupree is one of those intriguing quiet athletes who is full of surprises. Even though she’s quiet, she has a good sense of humor and loves to make people laugh in spite of a self-acknowledged critical streak (she says it means she’s just looking out for your best interest). Whatever she decides to do when retirement day comes, however, you can be sure she’ll be just as successful in her new venture as she has been and continues to be as a professional athlete.
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SPORTS
DALLAS HOSTS 2016 NAGAAA CUP BY CONNIE WARDMAN
PHOTOS COURTESY OF NAGAAA
THE ATLANTA ELITE CAME TO DALLAS FOR THE 2016 NAGAAA CUP AND WOUND UP as winners of the A division. Winner of the B division was the Austin Hot Flash, and they won’t have far to travel for this year’s annual Gay Softball World Series (GSWS) since it’s being held this year in Austin. Our congratulations to the winners! NAGAAA, short for the North American Gay Amateur Athletic Alliance, holds the NAGAAA Cup prior to the GSWS as an invitational qualifying tournament.
SPORTS
PRIDE B OWL
CHICAGO HOSTS PRIDE BOWL IX BY JARED GARDUNO DURING PRIDE MONTH ONE CITY OFFERS A unique opportunity for LGBT athletes to celebrate the spirit of competition by playing the sport they love – flag football. The annual Pride Bowl tournament began in 2008 when the Chicago Metropolitan Sports Association (CMSA) introduced flag football to the Pride month calendar. On June 24-25 nine football fields near the Chicago lakefront will serve as the backdrop to this year’s contest. The CMSA will host the largest Pride Bowl in its nine-year history, including 34 teams competing in their respective divisions – Open A, Open B, and new to this year’s lineup, a women’s division. The On-field Competition For two consecutive years players, volunteers, referees and fans have gathered to view the A division title game between the Washington Generals and Cleveland Rockers. And for both years the Generals have carried the trophy off the field. Brandon Waggoner, captain of the two-time defending Pride Bowl champion Generals said that “Chicago is an amazing tournament that is well run. Competition levels are perfectly aligned and I like the timing of it being halfway during the season, leading up to the national Gay Bowl in October.” Chances are we will witness an all-D.C. dual in the final game this year due to a rise in the ranks of the D.C. Admirals who finished in second place during last year’s national tournament. The B division has continued to drift out of the shadow of the A division. Last year’s championship game provided proof that the B division is no longer viewed as the little brother in the annual competition. Teams in the B division certainly can stand alone and claim their own light. Former upper division team, the Houston Hurricanes traded divisions and faced the up-and-coming Denver Summit Orange team. Houston walked away with brag-
PHOTOS COURTESY JOHN COX PHOTOGRAPHY
ging rights after a tough, hard-fought game. But just three months later the Summit would avenge its defeat and claim the top spot on the Gay Bowl National Champion podium. With the past two years of growth and a majority of their starting lineup from the past two tournaments intact, Summit Orange walks onto the field in Chicago on the 24th highly favored to win its first Pride Bowl title. Over the past four years the National Gay Flag Football League women’s division has seen tremendous growth that includes a growing thirst to compete in Pride Bowl. Chicago’s rich history of female competition in flag football runs deep and assures a competitive two days of football. Six teams will participate in the Pride Bowl’s inaugural women’s division play, including a team from the Mile High city of Denver that has proved its dominance. The Denver Gay and Lesbian Flag Football League has provided a Women’s National Gay Bowl champion every Gay Bowl since 2012. Will home field advantage provide Chicago with the opportunity to finally knock a Denver team out of the top spot? That’s been the big question for everyone in the weeks leading up to this highly anticipated women’s division play. With a tradition of excellence provided by the Chicago host committee, 32 referees, 8 field painters and 50 volunteers will be assured of an entertaining weekend. "It's exciting to know that Pride Bowl maintains a prime place on the calendars of teams from throughout the country,” said Matt Herek, tournament director. “To have the opportunity to show off the best of Chicago to 400 athletes is more than we could ever ask for. Pride weekend is about more than just a parade, and Pride Bowl provides another way to celebrate the best of the LBGT community." Jared Garduno is the commissioner of the National Gay Flag Football League (NGFFL). To learn more please visit www.ngffl.com.
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SPORTS
COMPETE GOLF CLASSIC
2016 COMPETE CHARITY GOLF CLASSIC RAISES MONEY FOR HIV/AIDS ORGANIZATIONS BY CONNIE WARDMAN THE WEATHER WAS PERFECT FOR LAST MONTH’S 2016 COMPETE CHARITY GOLF CLASSIC held in conjunction with the Greater Phoenix Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (GPGLCC). Held at the beautiful Starfire Golf Course in Scottsdale, Arizona, as you can see from the photos, a great time was had by all the golfers. A big thanks goes to all the golfers, the GPGLCC and our wonderfully supportive sponsors for raising money for Aunt Rita’s Foundation that benefits 17 different non-profit HIV/AIDS organizations throughout Central Arizona.
STYLE
BY BOBBY CILETTI, STYLE EDITOR
TIME FOR WEARABLE TECHNOLOGY BOBBY IS A TRAVEL AND LIFESTYLE EXPERT AND FOUNDER OF THEDAYSOFTHECHIC.COM. TWITTER @BOBBYCILETTI
THE FIRST MONDAY IN MAY MARKS ONE OF the biggest days in fashion with Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Annual Costume Institute Gala. This year’s theme was technology and the gala featured an endless array of eye-catching designs thanks to the help of futuristic fashion methods like laser cutting and 3D printing. Other technological showstoppers included a gown woven with fiber optic threads as well as Czech model and actress Karolina Kurkova, who wore a gown with LED flowers that reacted to comments on her social media account, this thanks to a collaboration between Marchesa and IBM. While these trends may seem too avant-garde for our everyday fashion, the wearable technology industry has already flexed its muscle in the fitness industry. But, is there really more to wearable technology and fitness than those little trackers we wear on our wrist? The answer is, yes. Even if your gym outfit is not lighting up when you complete a set at the gym, the industry has been expanding more than you may realize.
Fitness Trackers Smart watches and fitness trackers, like Apple Watch, Fitbit and Pebble have been around for years, each promising their users access to important metrics, like steps taken and calories burned in addition to counting heartbeats. As the desire for this technology has developed, so has its use. Now apps from companies like Fitbit include a social component that allows users to connect with and motivate other users. These companies are even putting fashion first thanks to collaborations
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with elite designers. Fitbit offers fun accessories from designers like Tory Burch which include a band and a gold logo cover. Apple Watch offers French artisan leather wristbands from Hermès to the tune of $1,250. www.apple.com/apple-watch-hermes
Apparel Now that you have your fitness tracker, how can you up your workout game? For those who are looking for a larger investment in wearable tech, Athos offers athletes the ability to look inside their muscle performance via embedded sensors and an integrated app. However, it is not cheap; packages start at $348 and can be in excess of $500 for the full body. www.liveathos.com
Footwear If you are looking to get some of the benefits of a fitness tracker but not sure it aligns with your personal style, consider DigitSole Smart Sole. These smart soles can be invisibly added to most of your footwear so you can take it with you from the gym to the office. The smart soles will track your calories and steps; it even has a warming function to keep your toes toasty. Upgrade your shoes for $200 a pair. www.digitsole.com
Bobby Says … Fill up on the apps. Yes, wearable technology is one of the hottest things in fashion at the moment and it can be pricey. When new technologies are introduced they are often expensive but they become more affordable over time – just think of flat screen TVs. Our smart phones are a great resource for adding technology to our workouts and lifestyle. Whether you use your phone’s built-in health tracker or find great free or affordable options through some research, technology is definitely within your reach. TopShop, a leader in mainstream fashion, recently announced an internal initiative to find ways to make wearable technology available and affordable. Until the day that occurs, however, you don’t have to sacrifice your style or bank account for a leg up in the gym – wearing technology is never going to replace your hard work and good taste.
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Bert’s Bees has proudly partnered with GLSEN to introduce its Rainbow Pride Lip Balm Pack. There’s room for everyone in their hive so this pride season the company celebrates the LGBT community and its friends – after all, Love is Natural! #uncaplove. Sold in a collectable gift box, it comes in six moisturizing lip balm flavors: • Pomegranate • Mango • Beeswax with Vitamin E & Peppermint • Medicated with Menthol & Eucalyptus • Vanilla Bean • Acai Berry A $10,000 charitable donation will be provided to GLSEN whose mission to ensure that every member of the school community is valued and respected regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression. For more information, please visit www.glsen.org.
This comfortable and sturdy camping hammock is great for both campers and those who want to hang it in a yard or patio area. It goes up and down quickly, easily packs into its attached water-resistant compression sack and comes with climbing-rated carabiners and dyneema slings. But also purchase their Python Straps (sold separately) – two 10-foot daisy-chain suspension systems that allow you to quickly and safely hang your Kammok Roo™ around any tree, rock, post or anchor point capable of bearing your weight. Made of proprietary diamond ripstop nylon and weighing 7.2 pounds, it supports 500 pounds; dimensions are 5.5 x 6.8 x 5.25 inches. With every Roo™ purchased, Kammok gives a treated mosquito net or health education to an African family to fight malaria in partnership with Malaria No More. Kammok is also a 1-Percent for The Planet partner and donates 1-Percent of sales to environmental and sustainable initiatives. Kammock Roo Hammock - $99; Python Strap Suspension System - $29; you can also purchase a Dragonfly Insect Net - $75.
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OVERTIME
EVENTS
CURRENT EVENTS IN JUNE ELTON JOHN AIDS FOUNDATION AND HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN LAUNCH INAUGURAL HIV 360° FELLOWSHIP PROGRAM
AQUATICS Asbury IceBreaker Asbury Park, N.J., June 18
BOWLING Rose Bowl Classic Portland, June 3 Cleveland Gay/Lesbian Invitational Fellowship Tournament Parma, Ohio, June 10 Charlotte Invitational Bowling Tournament Charlotte, N.C., June 17 HUGS Lakewood, Calif. June 18 Denver International Gay & Lesbian Invitational Denver, June 24
CYCLING AIDS/LifeCycle - 15th Anniversary San Francisco to Los Angeles, June 5-11
FLAG FOOTBALL Pride Bowl IX Chicago, June 24-25
RUNNING Seattle Frontrunner’s Run/Walk with Pride 4K, 10K Seattle, June 5 Anchorage Pride Rainbow Run Anchorage, June 21 7th Annual Pride 5K presented by St. Louis Frontrunners St. Louis, Mo., June 26
TENNIS Rocky Mountain Open 2016 Denver, June 3-5 Motor City Tennis Classic ‘16 Southfield, Mich., June 11-3 Boston Tennis Classic 2016 Boston, June 7-9
VOLLEYBALL T-Dot Pride Toronto, Ont., June 25
Sports Club at
Your Uptown Fitness Experience! www.sportsclubatcitysquare.com (Indian School Rd and 2nd Ave)
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THE ELTON JOHN AIDS FOUNDATION (EJAF) AND the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) have joined efforts to strengthen the resilience of the HIV/AIDS movement and support initiatives that empower community-based leaders from diverse backgrounds. With generous support from EJAF, 10 young activists and community leaders will receive nine months of intensive leadership training as part of the inaugural HIV 360° Fellowship Program. This is a collaborative effort to support communities hardest hit by HIV/AIDS by elevating advocacy work to address the continuing deep impact of this epidemic. The 10 fellows selected for the HIV 360° Fellowship Program's inaugural class are all under age 35 and are currently undertaking leadership roles in community-focused organizations and initiatives across two dozen states. The inaugural HIV 360° fellows are: • Andrés Cano, National Latino HIV Awareness Day-Tucson, Tucson, Arizona • Thomas Davis, Health Education Specialist, LA LGBT Center, Los Angeles, California • Nicole Elinoff, Director of Clinical Services, The GLBT Center of Central Florida, Orlando, Florida • Mardrequs Harris, Public Health Program Director, Tennessee Department of Health, Memphis, Tennessee • Sasanka Jianadasa, Capacity Building and Community Resource Manager, HIPS, Washington, D.C. • Tyrell Manning, Regional Integration Specialist, Williams and Associates, Inc., St. Louis, Missouri • Pierre Jamar (PJ) Moton, Interim Clinical Program Manager, Abounding Propensity, Inc., Dallas, Texas • Steven Romeo, Executive Director, The Change Project, Birmingham, Alabama • Milan Sherry, Advisory Board Member, Positively Trans, New Orleans, Louisiana • Lee Storrow, Executive Director, North Carolina AIDS Action Network, Raleigh, North Carolina
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BEDROOM SPORTS
DATING, SEX AND RELATIONSHIP ADVICE
BY ALI KAY, GUEST COLUMNIST
MONOGAMY ISN'T A DIRTY WORD I OFTEN REFER TO MYSELF AS THE WEST Coast Carrie Bradshaw, which means I have a gay male best friend. There are other gay men that I’m friends with, too. Interestingly enough, I don’t have many lesbian friends. Since I often frequent a popular gay club in my hometown, I’m exposed to lots of conversations that are usually about dating. So a typical night out is meeting friends at the bar, talking, sharing stories and laughing. “Why do I have so much trouble with online dating when you guys seem to have really good luck?” I asked the group of gay men I was with. “I don’t know,” said one guy. “Well, gay guys like to hook up,” said another one. Most of these guys have categorized themselves into groups such as bears or cubs. I don’t really hang out with feminine guys. I suppose you could say I have “straight" gay friends who are masculine but also loving and slightly in tune with their feminine sides. These guys talk about their dating situations and they’re all so varied. One of my friends dates a lot and he has no trouble meeting men. Some guys tell me they get on Grinder or Growler and they find someone. Does this translate into a relationship? Sometimes, but mostly it’s friends with benefits. The gay male culture seems to have many open relationships but that’s not to say that straight men don’t. Straight relationships have swingers but it’s either kept private or it’s not that common. One of the other guys has shared how he was in a relationship but his boyfriend wasn’t as sexual as he wanted, so he was granted permission to see other men. “I should be more selfish with him,” the guy’s boyfriend said. One of the guys shared that he has an open relationship with his boyfriend but they don’t see anybody else too often. He talked about using protection and being safe. When discussing monogamy with them, it is something that doesn’t happen too easily. Some of them have had loving relationships and when it ended, they were crushed. Men do have feelings—even gay men. I used to hang out with some lesbians and I know for a fact they can have monogamous relationships; still some of them don’t want to settle down. You can’t really say because someone is gay or straight that monogamy is more or less likely. I think if you love someone and don’t want to see anybody else, then you make that happen. Trust is both straight and LGBTfriendly—if it’s used the right way. I know a gay guy who
is in a serious, committed and monogamous relationship. The pair travels, do things together and love each other. Maybe, because men are testosterone driven, gay hook-ups are more common. Most men like to pursue, to chase and enjoy the conquest of landing someone. Much like straight men I’ve dated, sometimes when they have conquered you, they move on to someone else. Dating is challenging and getting someone to be monogamous is hard. With online dating, it’s made monogamy seem like a dirty word when in fact, it’s a sacred thing. It seems there are so many options to choose from, it could make you wonder how you can choose just one person to date? You might also be curious if someone else out there is better for you? In the straight game of dating, getting a guy to commit and be monogamous takes work. Maybe that’s because it’s not the right person. It would seem if you are with the right person, monogamy would come effortlessly. Love is something most of us want. Whether you decide you want monogamy to be part of your love relationship is a personal choice. Some are OK with open relationships, some like the excitement of hook-ups while some want a deep, meaningful relationship that’s monogamous. “I miss my ex,” a friend said. “He’s cute but he has issues.” He’s been seemingly single ever since they broke up but he’s had plenty of men to choose from and go out with. My friend went on to tell me the story of how things didn’t work out. It sounded like my dating stories. Whether you’re gay or straight—we share the same issues of dating, commitment, relationships, monogamy and love. I believe monogamy is something you can have in any relationship as long as there are two trusting partners who are committed to the idea of being with each other. Monogamy is based on trust, commitment and love. Maybe you just have to be ready and done with the hook-ups to want a serious relationship. When you do, monogamy can be a really sweet thing.
ALI KAY is a freelance writer and award-winning journalist who specializes in writing about relationships and considers herself a crusader for love.
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