FIT & FAB
MOTIVATION? You’re Not Alone! BY MATT BOYLES, (HE, HIM, HIS)
If you’re struggling with motivation (aka, what to do to get out of a slump), you’re not alone. I get asked about this pretty regularly so I have collated for you the six best approaches you may want to try. 1. Stop comparing your entire life to just a snapshot of someone else's. We have a tendency to see just a glimpse of other people's lives (in real life and even more so on social media) and compare it to our ENTIRE life. We see the “perfectly” put together body, life, holiday, boyfriend, everything and then look at ours. And it's raining. And it's Tuesday afternoon. And you've got a cold. And you start thinking, "I'll never be like them." But they've only shown you a very carefully edited and curated snapshot of their life. You're doing brilliantly AND in currently extremely trying circumstances. You don't have to have it all together. Remember that what you're seeing online is 99.9 percent NOT REAL. If this is happening to you, try a social media detox AND start removing toxic influences from your feed. Again, remember you're only seeing them because you chose to see them in the first place. Therefore, you can unchoose (that should be a word) to see them and instead, curate a feed that lifts you up, however that looks. 2. Remember everyone has energy ebbs and flows, ups and down. Yes, even me. I know I sometimes seem like the indefatigable Labrador of Fitness, and more times than not, I am pretty upbeat. But sometimes I'm not. Sometimes I want to skip working out for a few days or even longer because I want to focus on other things or just because I want to have some downtime. There's nothing wrong with this. In fact, there's lots right with it. Just know that however long you rest, you haven't fallen off any kind of wagon – there ISN'T a wagon. There's just you looking after yourself. Sometimes we can give it more attention; sometimes we can give it less and that's fine, too.
3. Baby steps are the best steps. Baby steps will always get you to where you want to go but they're never off-putting. So often we've been told that if we're not giving it 110 percent then there's no point in doing it. What. A load. Of old. CRAP! Anything, ANYTHING positive you do for yourself is, guess what? Something positive you've done for yourself that can't be undone! If that looks like going for a 10-minute walk, when yesterday you didn't leave the house, that's wonderful! In fact, that's 100 percent more walk than you did the day before! Maybe the next day you’ll do an 11-minute walk. Good for you! But if you don't, that's OK too, which leads me to Point 4. 4. Compassion starts at home. You don't need to be Superman (or Wonderwoman) (is Wonder Woman two words?!). The best you can do is the best you can do. And any small gift of self-compassion and understanding will help you feel better day-to-day about who you are and what you do. To quote wobbly-voiced singer of pop, Jess Glynne, "Don't be so hard on yourself." 5. Try something different. I don't believe people are lazy, not really. Remember that thing you love doing? Maybe it’s climbing, macrame, ballroom dancing with shadow puppets, but whatever it is, you love that. You never miss it and you always have great energy when you do it. So, too with everything else in your life. Find what you actually enjoy and your laziness will evaporate since you'll always be doing something you WANT to do. 6. You haven't done anything wrong. Therefore, no need for any guilt. Disapproving of what you've done or not done has only held you back … so far. So try approving of yourself and see what unlocks. I believe in you. Have a good month, Matt
MATT BOYLES is a regular columnist for Compete and an online Personal Trainer who specializes in working with Gay, Bi and Trans males. In addition to the more regular fitness and nutrition components he has layered in elements to support mental health, boost confidence and provide bucketloads of empathy. Find out more about Matt's sensible and holistic approach to health and fitness: www.fitterconfidentyou.net/onlinetraining.
46 COMPETE november - december 2020
