Jaime O’Neill: Already On a Train to a New Destination

I have the pleasure of interviewing Jaime O’Neill, a professional World Long Drive Golfer and a transgender woman. Welcome, Jaime. I’ve been particularly impressed by your openness and willingness to share your story with Compete Sports Diversity readers. And particularly right now when the trans community is facing so much vitriol, misinformation and anti-transgender legislation.

Connie Wardman: Had you always been an athlete growing up, Jaime? If so, what sports had you played besides golf?

Jaime O’Neill: Growing up in Australia, I played soccer, field hockey, golf, cricket, tennis, squash, surfing – whatever my friends were playing. I represented my shire (region) at state level for field hockey on several occasions. My abilities as an athlete? Well, let’s say I just loved to hit things hard, and in any direction. When I moved to America I started playing softball and continued playing social rounds of golf.

CW: How old were you when you realized you weren’t meant to be a boy?

JO: Growing up I had an amazing childhood, but I had these feelings that I was “different.” This was at the age of five. Not knowing what these feelings were or how to deal with them, I just expected that everyone felt the same as me. It wasn’t until my teens and early adulthood that I had access to the internet to do my own research into Gender Identity Disorder (GID).

In 2010 I started my transition from male-to-female at age 34. Deciding to transition was not an easy decision. I was prepared to lose my family, my friends, my career –but what I knew was I was not going to lose my life!

CW: Wow, thank you for sharing your intense level of need and determination to transition, Jaime. I think that’s something many people simply don’t grasp, that this can be a life or death matter for those who aren’t, for a variety of reasons able to have proper medical care. Ultimately, what happened in your case? Did you lose any of your family, friends and/or career in order to transition to a woman?

JO: My transition started with a plan, a schedule and a budget (I worked for an engineering company). The best way to describe my transition? I was already on a train to a new destination. With my plan in hand and assistance from my therapist, my goal was to get all my family, friends and coworkers on the next train to meet me at my final destination.

I achieved this by writing a letter to everyone I cared about, providing them with all the details of what I was going through, along with resources such as the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) Standard of Care. With my openness, honesty and compassion, all of my family and friends were my biggest supporters of transition.

CW: How wonderful! Not everyone is so fortunate to keep family and friends but it appears the way you presented your information to them was key to helping them understand what you were going through and what you hoped would happen.

What was the total cost of your transition and what was your career that enabled you to afford to pay for it? Did you transition as you could afford it; set up a go-fund-me account, cash in savings/ retirement? Someone reading your story will surely want to know how you managed this!

JO: My transition came at a huge cost as this was not covered by insurance. Over a two-year period my transition cost more than $120,000. To afford the expense I worked fulltime at an engineering company and two liquor stores. This also meant I had to transition on the job at three businesses. Additionally, I borrowed funds from my 401k.

I started living full time as a woman on April Fool’s Day, 2011 and started my physical transition at that time. I underwent facial feminization surgery in Boston with Dr. Jeffrey Spiegel, along with hundreds of hours of electrolysis for hair removal, voice therapy and breast augmentation. A year later Dr. Pierre Brassard at the Centre Métropolitain de Chirurgiemy in Montreal, Canada performed my final gender reassignment surgery. It took me six painful months to recover from this.

CW: And yet, based on a transition or die choice as you saw it, am I correct in assuming that all that hard work and pain was worth it?

JO: Absolutely! •

Editor’s Note: Please check out the MVP section where Jaime O’Neill continues her journey to becoming a professional athlete.

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