Question & Answer

By Kim Malakowsky

Images by 5Foot20 Design Lounge

For many women, leaving a job following a long, fulfilling career can be bittersweet. We met up with Mary Lou Dahms, former director of marketing and public relations for Hospice of the Red River Valley to hear her thoughts on her career, her retirement and what’s next in her life.

What would you consider the highlights of your career? What things gave you a sense of pride, of accomplishment?

When I started at Hospice of the Red River Valley, we were serving about 25 patients a day in a five-county area. When I left, we were caring for 298 patients each day and our service area now covers 33,000 square miles (29 counties) in North Dakota and Minnesota. That growth is attributed to the expert, compassionate care of nurses, CNAs, social workers, chaplains and grief specialists and tireless support staff. I had a great product and service to promote, which made my job an easy one. I am very gratified that thousands of families have put their trust in us at the most intimate and difficult time in their lives. I know for them we made a difference. That makes me feel very good.

Heirlooms, the upscale resale store that supports Hospice, is also a highlight. I was entrusted with taking an idea and 6,000 square feet of empty retail space and turning it into a venue that now provides significant financial support for the organization.

Aside from financial considerations, what questions most entered your mind as you considered retirement?

What will I do day in and day out? Will anyone ever want my help again? What do I do with everything I have learned?

My job often overlapped into evenings and weekends and I really wondered what I would do to fill the time. So I started a few lists – projects, things I want to learn and places I want to visit. The lists are pretty long so if I ever find myself getting bored, I just check the lists.

As women, our careers often fill many needs―independence, ego and identity among many more. Have you felt a void in those areas?

Hospice was really my identity. It was how people knew me and it was because of Hospice that friends turned to me for information and guidance. That was a real compliment, and all of a sudden, the identity (as I perceived it) was gone. Also, my job was a very social one –meetings, talking to groups, planning, events, etc. All of that gave me great energy. When I retired, my calendar was bare!

With fewer daily obligations and less structure, have you found new interests or discovered things about yourself?

A couple of years ago, I went through a multi-week self-discovery course. (I had already started thinking about retirement and thought this would be good preparation.) Most of the people in the group had a passion/desire to pursue a totally different career course, or move to another part of the country or even abroad. I really struggled with my passion. I already had a great job and career and am perfectly content living here. At one point I even wondered if I was missing the point of the course. It wasn’t until the very end that it dawned on me – what I really want to do is to be there … be there for family and friends who need help.

What’s next? Salsa dancing, traveling?

The one thing I really want to do is write a series of children’s stories titled "When I Was Your Age." I find myself using that phrase with my grandchildren and so I thought it would be worthwhile to share my memories of “when I was their age” in story form.

It’s very important to me to help our children and grandchildren, from simple things like picking them up from school to more complicated discussions about careers and workplace issues.

And I want to become a better cook and baker. I have a list of things I have never made that would be fun to try.

Also on my list are simple things – spend a morning at the library, attend more plays, take an adult ed class, type up recipes, etc.

What advice would you give a young woman as she enters into a career, in terms of building a satisfying work life?

• Find a job you love. If you don’t love what you are doing, start looking. It’s out there.

• Surround yourself with positive people who know more than you do and will make you better. My college degree was in elementary education. I got good at what I did because of the great mentors I had along the way.

• Build a satisfying home life. Our work can often monopolize our lives – even our free time. Try as best you can to leave work at work and when you are away from the job, spend time with those you love and those who love you.

Life lessons I learned:

• Life is not a dress rehearsal. There are no “do overs.” You know the phrase that no one was heard to say on their death bed, “I wish I would have worked harder, longer ...”

• Adopt an attitude of gratitude. Be grateful that you have a job, many people don’t. I am truly grateful that I was able to retire when I did. I know others don’t have that opportunity.

Shortly after moving to the Fargo-Moorhead area in 1998, Jo Satrang was invited to join Bible Study Fellowship. That invitation initiated what would become a standing appointment at 9:00 on Wednesday mornings for the next fifteen years. Now serving in her twelfth year as teaching leader for BSF, Satrang considers it a privilege to help people “have a high view of God through the study of His word.”

Originally from Ryder, North Dakota, Satrang was the youngest of Herb and Gloria Johansen’s six children. Working on the family farm, Satrang was especially drawn to helping her mother with the fl ower beds and bushes. “I grew up with a great appreciation for the beauty in God’s creation and was aware of how a simple bunch of fl owers could infl uence the atmosphere and attitudes in a home in a very positive way.” This interest grew very naturally into a career in fl ower shop management where Satrang’s fl air for thematic decorating and creative expression blossomed.

Faith was important to the Johansen family and Satrang grew up participating in church activities and understanding that Jesus loved her. As a teenager, Satrang observed a transformation in the lives of