when Everything CHANGED

MSUM STUDENT-TURNED-ADVOCATE RAISES AWARENESS on DRINKING AND DRIVING

The Night Of

December 13, 2014, began with a girl gorging on pizza with her big brother at Pizza Ranch and ended with her racing to the hospital, praying for him to be alive. Rylie Langer, a social work major at Minnesota State University Moorhead (MSUM), continues to deal with her brother’s decision to consume alcohol and drive that fateful evening.

The life-changing event left him unable to speak, walk or care for himself. Two years later, Langer is using her brother’s story to shed light on the consequences of drinking and driving. She created a video about his accident and her family’s emotional journey to get their lives back. After posting it to Facebook on the two-year anniversary of the accident, she received positive feedback and support, including from her brother, who’s proud of what his sister is dong.

The video chronicles her experience dealing with his decision. A junior in high school at the time, Langer’s only sibling and older brother, Tyler, was her role model and best friend. They loved spending time together — eating at local restaurants, watching the latest movies or playing video games. She played on the Wadena–Deer Creek High School basketball team and after a long evening of practice that December night, she went out for pizza but was too exhausted to watch movies with her brother. She went to bed early only to be woken by her mom in the middle of the night. “She said Tyler had been in an accident and that we had to go to St. Cloud right away because he was being ambulanced there,” Langer says.

When she arrived at the hospital and entered his room, she dropped to her knees, overtaken by Tyler’s condition. She recalls seeing blood everywhere and his leg in pieces. The nurses in the room did their best to comfort her while explaining he needed to go to Minneapolis. Prior to leaving, she asked the doctor if he was going to make it.

He responded, “I think he has a chance.”

After a number of surgeries throughout the evening and hours of waiting, they were told Tyler was stable and on life support. That’s when the waiting game truly began; it was three months before he emerged from the coma.

“When he was in the coma, he would open his eyes sometimes but not be awake. He wouldn’t know who we were. Then he just woke up one day and knew,” Langer explains.

He awoke crying with emotion, feeling confused, not knowing what happened, what day it was or how long he had been in the hospital. Because of their strong relationship, Langer’s parents entrusted her to explain the details of that night to her brother, and to share the unbearable news that the accident caused the death of one of his closest friends, who was a passenger in the car. He cried every day for a month, consumed with guilt and mourning the loss of his friend.

The family has seen improvement over the past two years. Their mom takes care of him every day, doing the things he used to do himself — feeding, bathing, taking medications. Langer is grateful that MSUM is near Wadena, which allows her to travel home nearly every weekend to spend time with her brother. Although he’s unable to speak, his cognitive abilities are intact. He’s aware of his life preceding the accident and remembers those he loves.

Different doctors have given him varying prognoses, with some saying he could walk again, others saying he won’t. He works daily on speech, physical and occupational therapy and continues to improve in small increments. He has adjusted to his communication barriers using his iPad, where he can form sentences and a letter board that he uses to spell things out. Despite everyone’s best efforts and the adjustments he’s made, he hasn’t had the easiest time accepting his condition.

“We try to keep him as happy as we can with what he’s given,” Langer says. “Like, fixing him something he loves for supper or making him laugh as much as possible.”

Police departments, coalition leaders and advocacy groups have asked her to share her story by speaking to schools and other youth groups about the perils of drinking and driving. She has four speaking engagements scheduled in May.

“My story’s different because my brother is still here but in a different sense. I still mourn our former relationship every single day, which is something people don’t understand. I have to deal with the constant reminder that I’m not going to have my old brother back,” Langer says. “My goal is to reach as many people as I can. I want to be an advocate against drinking and driving. I want my name to be known for it.”

Find Langer’s emotional video on YouTube. youtube.com/watch?v=s8h4WbF8in8&t=176s

Interested in having her speak? Email langerry@mnstate.edu.

words by REBECCA MEIDINGER photography by JENNY BEDARD PHOTOGRAPHY