EmbracingPARENTINGCHAOS

from Area Woman Magazine Feb/Mar '18

by Lake & Home Magazine | Area Woman Magazine

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Motivational Speaker Dispels Myth That Parenting Is Easy

no one said parenting would be easy. Yet well-intentioned inexperienced idealists devise many hope-filled notions. Then, when children appear and reality sets in, those fantasies get lost under dust and dirty diapers and we become distraught.

World-renowned motivational speaker and comedian Kristina Kuzmic is credited for honestly addressing parenting challenges. For instance, at the start of our interview, she warns me there may be chaos in the background as she speaks from her home. She and her second husband live with three children and two dogs, where disruption is a regular occurrence.

Kuzmic says, “We set unrealistic expectations for careers, marriage, motherhood and children. When we aren’t living the fantasy we created, we wonder what we are doing wrong. Reality is much messier and we need to make the best of the mess.”

At one time, when divorced with two children, Kuzmic felt like a failure. She wasn’t able to provide her children the dreams she had imagined. Life felt like it was unraveling.

Kuzmic continues, “It just came to me one day. Put the pre-conceived notions aside. Stop wishing for what you thought and accept what it is. Think about what’s positive—I fed the kids; we have clean clothes; I walked the dog. That’s when I started enjoying parenting and made the journey better. Embrace the chaos and everything will be fine.”

As a hobby, Kuzmic started posting parenting video blogs in 2015. “I was surprised when they went viral practically overnight. I guess my honesty struck a chord. Parents posted comments of relief that they weren’t the only ones struggling with reality.”

Christian Adoption Services (CAS) brings Kuzmic to Fargo April 19 to share her observational and encouraging humor at their Growing Forever Families evening dessert fundraiser event. The event also offers a preview of their agency and what adoption looks like today through the eyes of clients, both birth and adoptive parents. In 1985, CAS began guiding birth parents to make responsible decisions and supporting life-affirming decisions by facilitating adoption plans.

According to CAS office manager Cambria Larson, “We primarily work with infant placement and find families for babies, not babies for families. Adoption is not often presented as an option to people experiencing unexpected pregnancy. National statistics find only 2% choose adoption, 49% parent and 49% abort. Through CAS, birth parents may review pro- file books to select a family for their child. Also we encourage a relationship be maintained between the birth and adoptive parents through emails, pictures and visits.”

One birth mother wrote to the adoptive parents: I couldn't have wished for better parents for her. You are so gracious and generous with all the pictures and letters you send. They comfort me so much. Every time I see her smiling face, I know I did the right thing.

CAS, serving families from Dickinson to Minneapolis, averages ten adoptions annually. The 501(c)(3) non-profit agency is licensed through the North Dakota Department of Human Services and complies with both North Dakota and Minnesota adoption laws. Because they are a faithbased and ministry-oriented organization, the majority of funding is through donor support.

Adoption costs through CAS average $19,000. The national average is $20,000–40,000. International adoptions are even higher.

John Steinbeck wrote, “Perhaps it takes courage to raise children.” Choosing an adoptive family for your child may take even more. It may take faith that your child will have a better life through this decision.

Kuzmic says, “When going through something hard, in that moment, it feels so permanent. When I was crying in my flatbread (see YouTube video), I wish someone had shaken me and said a bad year or two doesn’t equal a bad life. I promise, you will not feel despair forever.”

While Kuzmic’s audience is mostly female, dads are also encouraged by her words. Find her on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube under Kristina Kuzmic. A book based on her blog is in the works but no publication date has been set.