the ‘Dear NICU Mama’ Project THE HEALING POWER of sisterhood

The definition of sisterhood is: an association, society or community of women linked by a common interest, religion or trade. And when I think of NICU moms and the relationship they share with each other, what common interest bonds them closer than a NICU journey? (The NICU is the neonatal intensive care unit which provides intensive medical care babies born prematurely, or babies born full-term in need of medical intervention.)

When we envision our birth stories and our new beginnings to motherhood, we envision what we see on commercials and what we see as we scroll through our social media. We envision early motherhood to be a time of bonding, of latching and nursing, of play dates, all while experiencing the magic of motherhood.

But what about when it isn’t the magical beginning that we always envisioned? What if it doesn’t feel magical as you’re connected to a mechanical pump while watching your baby fight for life in an isolette? What if you struggle to bond with your baby when your nights are spent miles apart from each other? What if you feel immense feelings of loneliness as you isolate yourself from the “outside world?” This is where the healing power of sisterhood comes in. We don’t have to journey through these feelings alone.

Dear NICU Mama exists to connect the past and present NICU mom by bringing them out of isolation and into a sisterhood of women that remind them that they are not alone. But what does this sisterhood look like?

First of all, NICU sisters don’t compare each other’s scars. They tend to each other’s wounds. We believe that there’s no such thing as an easy NICU journey, and that all NICU journeys are to be honored and celebrated. Two days or 200 days in the NICU is hard.

When the NICU journey feels like too much, your NICU sisters remind you that you are braver than you feel.

When you feel guilt or shame about what your body did or didn’t do, your NICU sisters remind you that this was never your fault.

When you feel deep sadness as you miss out on events or gatherings with people that you love, your NICU sisters remind you of the bravery it takes to set strict social boundaries to keep your miracle healthy and safe.

When others perceive your honesty as complacency, your NICU sisters remind you that you can be grateful and grieve at the same time.

And most importantly, your NICU sisters remind you that you are never alone.

So if you are a NICU mama reading this, we want to invite you to be a part of the Dear NICU Mama sisterhood. The NICU journey can be incredibly isolating, but you do not have to journey through it alone. Community with women and mothers who “get it” can be an essential and beautiful part of the healing process both during and after the NICU.

We see you, we hear you, and are here to honor your story. You are never alone.

DEAR NICU MAMA is a passion project designed to connect, encourage, and create community with past and present NICU moms.Get connected at dearnicumama.com.