#/.#2%4% 7EDNESDAY TH -ARCH 5%!gS )NDEPENDENT .EWSPAPER )SSUE
&!+).' )4
%ARTH &ROM 4HE !IR #HECK OUT ONE OF THE BEST EXHIBITONS IN .ORWICH THIS YEAR
4URF
5%! (ISTORY
&EATURES
0HIL "ANKS
7ELCOME TO MY WORLD
5NDERAGE KIDS USE 5%! HOODIES TO GET SERVED *OHN -UTCH 5%! BAR STAFF ARE UNDERTAKING STRICT NEW MEASURES IN A BID TO CLAMP DOWN ON UNDERAGE DRINKING ON CAMPUS 2EPORTS SUGGEST THAT THE NUMBER OF YOUTHS BEING SERVED ALCOHOL ON CAMPUS HAS RISEN /NE .ORWICH SCHOOL TEACHER CLAIMED A SOME OF HER STUDENTS HAVE SUCCESS FULLY BEEN SERVED AT THE BAR 0OSING AS STUDENTS THE TEENAGERS BOUGHT 5%! HOODIES ON CAMPUS AND WENT UNCHALLENGED IN THE PUB 3TUDENTS HAVE ALSO ISSUED THEIR CONCERNS AFTER OVERHEARING .OR WICH TEENS BRAGGING TO EACH OTHER
AFTER THEIR ON CAMPUS DRINKING EX PLOITS "AR MANAGEMENT IS WELL IN FORMED OF THE SITUATION AND HAVE IMPLEMENTED TOUGH NEW MEASURES TO COMBAT THE GROWING PROBLEM 3TAFF HAVE BEEN ENCOURAGED TO QUESTION ANYONE WHO APPEARS TO BE UNDER YEARS OF AGE AND HAVE BEEN TOLD NOT TO ASSUME INDIVIDU ALS SPORTING 5%! CLOTHING ARE STU DENTS 2EPORTS COME AS BAD NEWS FOR STUDENTS WHO FEEL THEY SHOULD NOT HAVE TO SHARE THEIR BAR WITH MIS CHIEVOUS YOUNGSTERS h4HE BAR IS A PLACE FOR STUDENTS TO SOCIALISE AND NOT SOMEWHERE FOR YOUTHS TO WASTE AWAY THEIR DOLE MONEYv SAID ,EWIS -ORTON ,)4 4HE IDEA OF GROUPS OF YOUTHS
CONSUMING ALCOHOL ON CAMPUS IS A PARTICULARLY ALARMING ONE CON SIDERING THE RECENT ATTACKS SUFFERED BY 5%! STUDENTS AROUND CAMPUS AT NIGHT TIME &EARS ARE THAT MORE AND MORE TROUBLESOME TEENAGERS WILL BE DRAWN TO THE 5NION "AR BE CAUSE OF ITS PERCEIVED LENIENCY 2ECENT AMENDMENTS TO LEGISLA TION FURTHER EMPHASISE THE NEED TO BE TOUGH )MPLEMENTED LAST YEAR THE DRINKING LAWS MEAN BAR STAFF ARE NOW SUBJECT TO l NES OF UP TO a IF CAUGHT SERVING A MINOR AS WELL SUFFERING THE INEVITABILITY OF LOSING THEIR JOBS (OWEVER YOUTHS ARE MAKING LIFE EVEN MORE DIFl CULT FOR BAR STAFF BY GOING TO EXTREME LENGTHS TO GET SERVED 4HOUGH CAMPUS CARDS CAN NOT BE USED AS PROOF OF AGE CARDS
A NUMBER OF FAKES HAVE BEEN DIS COVERED 4HE CARDS WERE THOUGHT TO HAVE BEEN USED TO GAIN ENTRY TO THE ,#2 4HEY HAVE A PURPLE TINGE TO THE SCANNING STRIP ON THE REAR OF THE CARD BUT ARE OTHERWISE IDENTICAL 3TUDENTS ARE ADVISED TO NOT TAKE OFFENCE SHOULD THEY BE ASKED FOR )$ 1UESTIONING FEL LOW STUDENTS IS JUST AS EMBARRASS ING FOR 5NION STAFF AS IT IS FOR THE CUSTOMER )F ANYTHING BEING ASKED FOR )$ AT THE BAR IS A POSITIVE THING n A DEMONSTRATION OF THE TOUGHER PRACTICE IN ACTION 0ASSPORTS DRIVING LICENCES AND g0ROVE )Tg CARDS ARE ALL VALID FORMS OF )$ AND PROOF OF AGE CARD AP PLICATION FORMS ARE AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST AT THE BAR
!NDY *UDSON DELVES INTO THE LIFE OF A VEGGIE TO HAVE ,ENT WITHOUT MEAT
,IFESTYLE ,ET 2ETRO 'O
#OMMENT
,/7 $/7. /. $%2"9 $!9 5%! 2%)'.3 6)#4/2)/53
#/.#2%4% 7EDNESDAY TH -ARCH
5NION BARS CUT THEIR LOSSES
%VERYONE S A WINNER ,ITERALLY ALMOST EVERYONE IS A WINNER THIS FORTNIGHT 7E WON $ERBY $AY BY A RIDICULOUSLY SATISFYING l GURE 3EVERAL PEOPLE WON THE 5NION ELECTIONS AND BY ELECTIONS #ONCRETE WON THE FOOTBALL MATCH BETWEEN US AND ,IVEWIRE ) WON a ON $EAL /R .O $EAL 7E WERE GOING TO PRINT THE #ONCRETE 3TUDENT AND 3TAFF !WARDS IN THIS ISSUE BUT DECIDED AGAINST IT AS THAT WOULD HAVE AMOUNTED TO A LUDICROUS AMOUNT OF WINNING )NSTEAD THE AWARDS WILL BE PRINTED IN OUR LAST ISSUE WHICH GIVES PEOPLE SOME MORE TIME TO NOMINATE A MEMBER OF STAFF OR A STUDENT WHO DESERVES SOME RECOGNITION )F YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS PLEASE EMAIL ME AT CONCRETE EDITOR UEA AC UK 4HERE IS ALSO A NOMINATIONS BOX AND FORMS IN THE (IVE RECEPTION OR YOU CAN POST YOUR NOMINATIONS ON THE &ACEBOOK GROUP @#ONCRETE 3TUDENT AND 3TAFF !WARDS 4O REPLACE THE 3TUDENT AND 3TAFF !WARDS FEATURE WE HAVE THE (ISTORY OF 5%! IN AN !NNA ESQUE NUTSHELL ) HAVE FABRICATED THREE PIECES OF INFORMATION IN THE CENTRE SPREAD IF YOU CAN IDENTIFY THE FACTS FROM THE PHONIES THEN YOU WILL WIN A NIGHT OF HOT
PASSION WITH THE %VENT %DITOR /OH SAUCY ) DID NOT INCLUDE .ORWICH S HISTORY BUT FOR YOUR SHEER PLEASURE ) WILL SHARE SOME OF MY FAVOURITE .ORWICH FACTS 5%! TAKES ITS MOTTO @DO DIFFERENT FROM A LOCAL SAYING @PEOPLE IN .ORFOLK DO THINGS DIFFERENT )N FACT .ORWICH SEEMS TO DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY A LOT BETTER THEN WE DO .ORWICH WAS THE l RST CITY TO HAVE A PEDESTRIANISED CENTRE )T WAS ALSO THE l RST CITY TO HAVE A COUNCIL ESTATE -ILE #ROSS 4HERE ARE TUNNELS RUNNING UNDER THE CITY THAT LEAD CRIMINALS TO THE PRISON AND ALLEGEDLY MONKS TO THE PUB )N A DOUBLE DECKER WAS DRIVING DOWN %ARLHAM 2OAD WHEN IT DISAPPEARED LEAVING ONLY ONE HALF OF IT STICKING OUT OF THE GROUND )T HAD FALLEN DOWN THE BIGGEST POTHOLE KNOWN TO MAN EXPOSING A CENTURIES OLD CHALK MINE 7HEN A CRANE CAME TO THE RESCUE IT TOO FELL IN THE HOLE !CCORDING TO ONE OF MY FAVOURITE CABBIES WHO LIKE MANY .ORWICH TAXI DRIVERS IS THE SOURCE OF ALL KNOWLEDGE THIS IS WHERE $OUBLE $ECKER CHOCOLATE BARS GET THEIR SLOGAN FROM )gM NOT CERTAIN OF THIS ONE ) THINK HE MAY HAVE JUST STARTED FABRICATING THINGS
.EWS )N "RIEF &REE HUGS 3PREAD JOY ! MAN WAS SEEN WANDERING AROUND CAMPUS ON 4HURSDAY EVENING CARRY ING A PLACARD READING @&REE HUGS 4HE JOY SPREADING STUDENT WALKED INTO THE 3QUARE WHERE HE WAS MOBBED BY PEOPLE FROM THE BAR /NE ONLOOKER SAID hMY FRIENDS SAW HIM FROM INSIDE THE BAR AND THOUGHT IT WAS AMAZING SO THEY ALL RAN OUT AND HUGGED HIMv )T SEEMS THE MYSTERY MAN OF MANY HUGS THEN PROCEEDED TO THE HR )4 AREA #ARINA 2IZVI ,AW WAS STANDING OUTSIDE HAVING A CIGARETTE h(E WALKED UP TO ME AND ASKED IF ) WANTED A HUG )T BRIGHT ENED UP A NIGHT IN THE HR SUITEv !LL OF THE HAPPY HUG RECIPIENTS ASKED THE DARK HAIRED MAN WHY HE WAS GIVING THE HUGS TO WHICH HE SIMPLY REPLIED hJUST BECAUSE v (E WAS ALSO SPOTTED IN TOWN EARLIER IN THE DAY SPREADING HAPPI NESS FOR ITS OWN SAKE AND WEARING A BADGE DISPLAYING LOVE AND PEACE
0HOTO !NNA 3TEWARD
4HE TOTAL LOSSES ACCUMULATED BY THE 5NION BAR HAVE DECREASED OVER THE LAST TWO YEARS )N THE BAR RECORDED A WHOPPING a DEl CIT a OF WHICH WAS POTENTIAL EARNINGS LOST THROUGH THEFT ,AST YEAR SAW THESE l GURES FELL TO a AND a RESPECTIVELY 4HE AMOUNT OF MONEY LOST BE CAUSE STAFF ARE GIVING FREE DRINKS TO FRIENDS HAS BEEN A REAL CONCERN TO THE 5NION OVER THE LAST COUPLE OF YEARS AND HAS LED TO THE IMPLEMEN TATION OF TOUGH NEW MEASURES TO COMBAT THE PROBLEM )NTRODUCED LAST YEAR THE NEW TILLS NOW REQUIRE A PERSONAL LOGIN AND MONITOR WHICH DRINKS HAVE BEEN ORDERED AS WELL AS HOW MUCH MONEY HAS BEEN RECEIVED !N IMPROVED ##46 SYSTEM AL LOWING GREATER CONTROL OVER EXISTING
CAMERAS HAS ALSO DETERRED STAFF FROM GIVING OUT DISCOUNTED DRINKS 4HE FALL IN LOSSES OWES MUCH TO THE EMPLOYMENT OF A NEW UNION AUDITOR /NE OF THE BEST IN THE BUSI NESS AND CURRENTLY SERVING OTHER UNIONS AROUND THE COUNTRY 4REVOR "ROWN S WISDOM HAS DONE MUCH TO COUNTER l NANCIAL PROBLEMS WITHIN 5%! S 5NION &INANCE /Fl CER %DDIE 3HIELDS BELIEVES THE FALL IN THE NUMBER OF DRINKS BEING GIVEN AWAY IS A GOOD THING FOR 5%! S STUDENTS h)T IS OB VIOUSLY A GOOD THING THAT THE THEFT HAS DECREASED BECAUSE THE MONEY TAKEN AT THE BAR IS FOR THE DIRECT BEN El T FOR ALL STUDENTS v 4HE BAR S REINFORCED l NANCIAL
STATUS IS HOWEVER UNLIKELY TO RESULT IN A FALL IN PRICES "AR PRICES HAVE RISEN STEADILY OVER THE LAST FEW YEARS AND ARE LIKELY TO CONTINUE DOING SO 4HE PRICE OF A PINT IS CURRENTLY a ALTHOUGH THIS STANDS AS A FAIRLY AVERAGE PRICE FOR A STUDENT UN ION PINT
a 4HE PROl T 5NION BARS LOST THROUGH DRINKS BEING STOLEN LAST YEAR
0OSTBOX LOVERS AT IT AGAIN !NNA 3TEWARD %DITOR 0OSTBOXES AROUND THE 'OLDEN 4RI ANGLE HAVE BEEN DECORATED WITH PINK HEARTS 4HE POSTBOXES HAVE GONE FROM ROYAL RED TO GOLD TO BLUE BACK TO RED AND NOW THEY HAVE BEEN PIMPED YET AGAIN WITH HEARTS +ARL "ROWN A POSTGRADUATE STU DENT SAID h)T WAS A JOKE THE l RST OR SECOND TIME BUT NOW IT S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE ESPECIALLY THE HEART ON
THE ,E #HATEAU 7INE SHOP SIGN ON 5NTHANK 2OAD AS THEY WILL HAVE TO PAY TO HAVE IT REPAINTED v (OWEVER MANY STUDENTS HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH THE NEW LOOK .ATHALIE "UTLIN ,)4 SAID h) CAN T SEE WHAT THE PROBLEM IS ) l ND THEM QUITE TOUCHING THEY MOVE MY ROMANTIC SOUL AND MAKE MY HEART QUIVER v (OWEVER 2OYAL -AIL ARE NOT SMITTEN WITH THE GRAFl TI AS THEY WILL HAVE TO REPAINT THE POST BOXES WHICH COSTS MONEY EVERY TIME
/H 5%! IS WONDERFUL 4IM 2IDGWAY $EPUTY 3PORTS %DITOR $ERBY $AY AN ENTIRE DAY DEVOTED TO COMPETITION CONTROVERSY AND COM ATOSE 4HIS YEAR WAS NO DIFFERENT AS THE WONDERFUL BOYS AND GIRLS FROM 5%! SHOWED NO NEIGHBOURLY LOVE IN HAMMERING THEIR COUNTERPARTS FROM THE 5NIVERSITY OF %SSEX n IN WHAT WAS FRANKLY A TROUNCING 2IVAL SPORTS TEAMS FROM BOTH INSTITUTIONS COMPETED IN A DAY LONG SPORTING EXTRAVAGANZA WHICH FEA TURED PARTICIPANTS FROM OVER TWENTY SPORTS RANGING FROM HOCKEY TO HORSE RIDING HOPING TO WIN POINTS FOR THEIR RESPECTIVE UNIVERSITIES
7ITH ANNUAL BRAGGING RIGHTS UP FOR GRABS IT WAS NOT LONG UNTIL THE INEVITABLE DEROGATORY COMMENTS OVER THE OPPOSING TEAMS LIFESTYLE CHOICES EMERGED FROM THE CLOSET #OMBINED WITH CONTINUAL CHORUSES OF h9OU LL .EVER 'ET A *OBv TO THE TUNE OF 'ERRY AND THE 0ACEMAKERS CLASSIC IT WAS CLEAR THAT THE PROCEED INGS WERE NOT FOR THE FAINT HEARTED AS REINFORCED BY THE NEAR MASS BRAWL IN THE MEN S BASKETBALL 9ET THIS WAS ALSO A DAY FOR THE LESS COMPETITIVE SPORTS AS THE @ONE SPORT ONE POINT RULING GAVE THEM AN OPPORTUNITY TO SHINE &ROM THE %SSEX CLIMBING SQUAD S ATTIRE OF TIE DYE AND LEOPARD LEGGINGS TO THE NAIL BITING l NALE OF THE POOL TOUR NAMENT IN THE 2ED "AR IT WAS THESE EVENTS THAT PROVIDED SOME OF THE
MOST EXCITING MOMENTS OF THE DAY 4HIS IS NOT TO SAY THAT THE DAY RAN COMPLETELY TO PLAN -EMBERS OF BOTH UNIVERSITY CRICKET TEAMS COM PLAINED OF 3PORTSPARK INTERFERENCE AS EAGER SPECTATORS WERE DIRECTED AWAY FROM THE VIEWING BALCONY DUE TO HEALTH AND SAFETY MEASURES A DECISION THAT FORCED THE CROWD TO WATCH PROCEEDINGS RATHER RESTRICT EDLY FROM THE NEIGHBOURING HALL 3ETTING CONTROVERSY ASIDE THE DAY ENDED IN THE ,#2 WITH THE MASS CHORUS OF h/H 5%!v ECHOING ACROSS THE SNAKEBITE STAINED m OOR )T WAS A SCENE THAT SUMMED UP THE ENTIRE ATMOSPHERE OF THE DAY AS THE 5NIVERSITY OF %SSEX AND THE ENTIRE 5%! UNITED AROUND THE BANNER OF FRIENDLY COMPETITION
0HOTOS 0HIL BANKS
!NNA S %DITORIAL !NNA S %DITO RIAL !NNA S %DITORIAL
*OHN -UTCH
0HOTO 0HIL BANKS
-ARCUS *ONES
#/.#2%4% 7EDNESDAY TH -ARCH
)NSTANT .OODLES 9OU CAN NOW GET NOODLES BROUGHT TO YOU WHILE YOU SIT IN THE COMFORT OF THE 3QUARE ON CAMPUS :EST ARE NOW BRINGING THEIR TRADE TO STUDENTS AS THEY SIT WHILING AWAY A SUNNY AFTERNOON SIPPING THE PUB S lNEST SHANDY )T SEEMS THAT AS THE WEATHER HEATS UP SO DOES THE COMPETITION ON CAMPUS WITH THE FOOD OUTLETS STRIVING TO SHOW STUDENTS THAT THERE IS MORE THAN 2ONALDOgS ICE CREAM ON OFFER IN THE 3QUARE
3PEAKER 3CAM )S 'ETTING /LD 3INCE #ONCRETE S PREVIOUS REPORT LAST ISSUE ON TWO MEN RIPPING STUDENTS OFF BY TRYING TO SELL THEM CHEAP SPEAKERS IT HAS COME TO LIGHT THAT THIS SCAM HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR OVER TWO YEARS 2OBIN #RITCHLEY AN EX 5%! STUDENT SAID h) WAS APPROACHED EARLY IN BY TWO MEN IN A WHITE VAN ON THE !VENUES 4HEY WERE OFFERING A SPEAKER @FOR CHEAP BUT ) THOUGHT IT WAS DODGY SO ) DECLINED THEIR OFFER $ON T LET THESE DODGY 4RANSIT VANNERS TAKE YOU FOR A RIDE )F YOU SEE THEM REPORT THEM TO THE POLICE ON
"OOKSHOP 3PACE 3AVED &OR 5NION 5SE 2ICHARD 2EYNOLDS $EPUTY .EWS %DITOR %DDIE 3HIELDS THE CURRENT &INANCE /F lCER MANAGED TO SAVE THE BOOKSHOP SPACE FROM REPOSSESSION BY THE 5NI VERSITY LAST WEEK %VER SINCE THE 5NION DECIDED TO CLOSE THE BOOKSHOP THERE HAVE BEEN DISCUSSIONS BETWEEN THE 5NIVERSITY AND THE 5NION CONCERNING WHO WOULD GET POSSESSION OF THE SPACE 4HE 5N ION CURRENTLY OWNS THE SPACE BUT IN A MOVE THAT ANGERED MANY STUDENTS THE 5NIVERSITY DESCRIBED THIS AS OWN ERSHIP WITH A SMALL @O MEANING THAT ALTHOUGH THE 5NION CURRENTLY POSSES 5NION (OUSE THE 5NIVERSITY IS THE LANDLORD AND REGARDS IT AS A LONG TERM LOAN )F THEY WERE NOT HAPPY WITH THE DECISIONS THE 5NION MADE ABOUT THE SPACE THEY MAY WELL HAVE TAKEN IT FOR THEIR OWN USE 4HE 5NIVERSITY HAD OFFERED A hSLIGHTLY INSULTINGv a OF ADDI TIONAL FUNDING TO THE &INANCE /FlCER IN EXCHANGE FOR THE PREMISE (OWEV ER IT WAS EXPECTED THAT THIS WAS PART OF A BARGAINING PLOY AND THE 5NION WAS GOING TO BE ASKING FOR A FAR LARGER SUM 4HE 5NION DID NOT WANT TO LOSE THE SPACE )NSTEAD THEY HOPE TO MOVE THE !DVICE #ENTRE RECEPTION TO THAT AREA IN AN ATTEMPT TO MAKE IT MORE OBVIOUS AND AVAILABLE TO STUDENTS AS
WELL AS HOPEFULLY MAKING 5NION (OUSE A LESS COMMERCIALLY ORIEN TATED OPERATION 4HIS MOVE ON BEHALF OF THE 5N ION ALONG WITH MOUNTING PRESSURE BOTH FROM %DDIE AND THE STUDENT BODY LEAD THE 5NIVERSITY TO ABORT THEIR ATTEMPT TO REGAIN THE PREMISE (OWEVER THE DOWNSIDE IS THAT THE 5NION WILL NOT NECESSARILY BE RE CEIVING ANY ADDITIONAL GRANT FROM
THE 5NIVERSITY )F THIS WERE TO HAP PEN THE 5NIVERSITY WOULD BE CON TINUING A RECENT TREND OF CUTTING IN REAL TERMS THE FUNDING THE 5NION RECEIVES EACH YEAR LEADING TO RAISED BAR PRICES AND POTENTIALLY THE CLO SURE OF OTHER SERVICES 4HE AREA CURRENTLY OCCUPIED BY THE !DVICE #ENTRE RECEPTION ON THE TOP mOOR OF 5NION (OUSE WILL PROBABLY BE TURNED INTO A CLUBS AND
SOCIETIES OFlCE AREA (OWEVER BE FORE COUNCIL BECAME INQUORATE LAST 4UESDAY THEY DECIDED TO APPOINT A COMMITTEE TO INVESTIGATE STUDENTS WISHES AND CHECK THE FEASIBILITY OF ANY FUTURE PLANS &URTHERMORE IF THE CLUBS AND SOCIETIES IDEA GOES AHEAD THE %XEC WILL BE CONSULT ING WITH THE VARIOUS PRESIDENTS TO DECIDE UPON THE BEST WAY TO UTILISE THE ADDITIONAL SPACE AVALIABLE
'ET YOUR EXTORTED MONEY BACK 4HE HIGH STREET BANKS MAKE AN ES TIMATED a BN IN UNFAIR CHARGES EACH YEAR BUT NOW THE CUSTOMERS ARE lGHTING BACK #HARGES OF a FOR OVERDRAW ING BY AS LITTLE AS a ARE COMMON PLACE IN MOST (IGH 3TREET BANKS 3UCH CHARGES ARE CLEARLY UNJUSTIlED AND UNTIL NOW CUSTOMERS SEEKING COMPENSATION FACED A BRICK WALL OF MULTINATIONAL PROPORTIONS (OWEVER LAW STUDENT 3TEPHEN (ONE FROM 0LYMOUTH STOOD UP TO THE FAT CATS AND DEMANDED JUS TICE 4HEY THREATENED COURT AND HE OBLIGED )N THE END THE CASE DID NOT EVEN REACH THE COURTROOM AS !BBEY CHOSE TO WITHDRAW THEIR CASE AND REFUNDED 3TEPHEN S MON EY &OLLOWING IN 3TEPHEN S FOOT
STEPS HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE COUNTRY ARE NOW DEMANDING THEIR MONEY BACK BY CITING THE 5NFAIR 4ERMS IN #ON SUMER #ONTRACTS 2EGULATIONS WHICH STATES THAT ALL PEN ALTY CHARGES MUST BE REPRESENTA TIVE OF ADMINISTRATIVE COSTS )N ORDER TO REGAIN COSTS FROM THE LAST SIX YEARS CUSTOMERS ARE BE ING ADVISED TO WRITE TO THEIR BANKS CITING THE LAW AND LISTING THEIR
UNDUE CHARGES WITH A DEMAND FOR RE IMBURSEMENT )F YOU DO NOT HAVE YOUR BACK DATED STATEMENTS THEY ARE AVAILABLE FROM YOUR BANK UNDER THE $ATA 0ROTECTION !CT )F YOUR BANK REFUSES YOU CAN THREAT EN TO TAKE THEM TO COUNTY COURT AND lLE A CLAIM AT WWW MONEY CLAIM GOV UK )F THE BANK DOES NOT BACK DOWN WITHIN DAYS IT HAS ANOTHER FORTNIGHT TO SUBMIT AN OUTLINE CASE -OST BANKS WILL PAY UP JUST BEFORE THE DEADLINE )F YOUR BANK STILL REFUSES TO PAY YOU CAN ASK THE COURT FOR A WARRANT USING THE -ONEY #LAIM WEBSITE /NCE THIS IS GRANTED BAILIFFS CAN COLLECT YOUR MONEY &OR A MORE DETAILED STEP BY STEP GUIDE AND A TEMPLATE LETTER VISIT THE ""# WEBSITE AT WWW BBC CO UK
7EDNESDAY TH -ARCH #/.#2%4%
3TUDENTSg 7EBMAIL .IGHTMARE *ACK #LARK
5%! S WEBMAIL SYSTEM IS FAILING FAST AND THERE IS VERY LITTLE THAT CAN BE DONE 3TUDENTS AND STAFF ALIKE ARE EXPERIENCING PROBLEMS WITH ACCESSING THEIR E MAIL AND THE SITUATION WILL GET WORSE BEFORE IT GETS BETTER 4HE PROBLEMS CREATED BY 7EBMAIL S POOR PERFORMANCE TO DATE HAVE BEEN VARIED ,ECTURERS HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO REACH THEIR STUDENTS ABOUT CANCELLATIONS 3TUDENTS ARE UNABLE TO CONVERSE WITH THEIR TEACHERS VIA E MAIL )MPORTANT INFORMATION AND ANNOUNCEMENTS ARE NOT BEING READ BECAUSE THE SYSTEM THAT IS SUPPOSED TO TRANSMIT THEM IS OVERLOADED !CCORDING TO !CADEMIC /FlCER 4ESSA .ORTH PART OF THE STUDENT REGULATIONS REQUIRES EVERY STUDENT TO CHECK THEIR 5%! E MAILS EVERY HOURS )F STUDENTS ARE UNABLE TO DO THIS THEY INDIRECTLY VIOLATE THE REGULATIONS 4HREE WEEKS AGO WHEN THE PROBLEMS DEVELOPED )4#3 INVESTIGATED AND CONCLUDED THAT THE PROBLEM WAS WITH THE 7EBMAIL SERVERS (OWEVER ON FURTHER INVESTIGATION IT BECAME CLEAR THAT
THE PROBLEM WAS WITH THE BACKEND MAIL SERVERS WHICH ARE CRIPPLINGLY OVERLOADED 4HEY ARE TWO YEARS INTO AN ANTICIPATED LIFE SPAN OF THREE YEARS AND ARE ALREADY FAILING )N A GENERAL E MAIL 3COTT 2AYMOND OF )4#3 POINTED OUT THAT THERE HAVE BEEN hHIGHER THAN ANTICIPATED INCREASES IN E MAIL VOLUMESv AND IN ADDITION TO THIS hTHE INCREASE IN SPAM E MAIL AND DELAYS IN REMOVING EXPIRED ACCOUNTS FROM THE SYSTEM HAVE ALSO HAD A SIGNIlCANT IMPACT v 4O COMBAT THESE PROBLEMS ACCORDING TO -R 2AYMOND )4#3 HAVE hFAST TRACKEDv THE PROCESS OF REPLACING THE MAIL SERVERS AND WORK WILL COMMENCE ON -ARCH TO BUILD A NEW 7EBMAIL INFRASTRUCTURE (OWEVER IT IS hA BIG PIECE OF WORK THAT CANNOT BE RUSHEDv 4HEY WILL ARRIVE IN TIME FOR THE EXAMS BUT LONG AFTER DEADLINES FOR ESSAYS DUE BEFORE THE %ASTER BREAK )4#3 HAVE DISPLAYED A MESSAGE ON ALL COMPUTERS IN THE ,IBRARY URGING STUDENTS TO CLEAN OUT THEIR INBOXES AND DELETE ANYTHING NON ESSENTIAL SO AS TO LIGHTEN THE LOAD ON THE SERVERS 4HEY ALSO ARE CURRENTLY REMOVING REDUNDANT ACCOUNTS TO FREE UP THE SYSTEM !NOTHER REASON FOR THE STRESS ON THE MAIL SERVERS IS THAT )4#3 CURRENTLY BLOCK ON AVERAGE
SPAM EMAILS EACH DAY BUT SOME MESSAGES STILL GET THROUGH &URTHER GUIDANCE ON E MAIL
MANAGEMENT IS AVAILABLE ONLINE ON THE )4#3 WEBSITE WHICH CAN BE ACESSED FROM THE )NTRANET PAGE
#HRISTMAS 'OT #ANCELLED !N ONLINE PETITION AND &ACEBOOK GROUP HAS BEEN SET UP BY 5%! STUDENTS TO REINSTATE 3TUART #HRISTMAS A FORMER 5NION "AR EMPLOYEE 7ITHIN A FEW DAYS THE GROUP HAD OVER MEMBERS -R #HRISTMAS WAS RECENTLY GIVEN THE OPTION OF RESIGNING OR BEING lRED AFTER SWEARING AT ONE OF HIS SUPERVISORS 3OME STUDENTS HAVE VOICED CONCERNS THAT THIS IS AN UNFAIR ULTIMATUM AS IT IS NOT REALLY GIVING STAFF A REAL OPTION )T HAS BEEN STATED THAT THE EXCHANGE WAS MEANT AS BANTER RATHER THAN TO CAUSE OFFENCE 3HORTLY AFTERWARDS -R #HRISTMAS SENT A LETTER OF APOLOGY TO BOTH THE SUPERVISOR CONCERNED AND HIS MANAGER )T WAS DEEMED THAT THIS TYPE OF BEHAVIOUR WAS NOT ACCEPTABLE AS IT FALLS UNDER GROSS MISCONDUCT (OWEVER THERE HAVE BEEN REPORTS OF MEMBERS OF STAFF COMING TO WORK DRUNK THAT ONLY RECEIVED A WARNING 4HE 5NION SPENT OVER a AT THE BEGINNING OF THE ACADEMIC YEAR ON TRAINING BAR STAFF TEAM LEADERS AND
SUPERVISORS 4HE PROTOCOL BETWEEN BAR STAFF AS A PROFESSIONAL WORKING RELATIONSHIP WAS ESTABLISHED EARLY ON (OWEVER AS MANY MEMBERS OF STAFF ARE FRIENDS WITH TEAM LEADERS AND OTHER BAR STAFF IT CREATES AN INFORMAL FRIENDLY ATMOSPHERE 4HIS IN ITSELF IS NOT A PROBLEM BUT IT HAS LEAD TO CONCERNS THAT STAFF DO NOT KNOW WHERE THE LINE IS DRAWN BETWEEN WORK AND PLEASURE 4HIS IS PART OF AN ONGOING PROBLEM THAT HAS NO SIMPLE RESOLUTION !S LONG AS STAFF WORK TOGETHER AND GET ON WELL SOCIALISING TOGETHER STUDYING TOGETHER AND SOMETIMES LIVING TOGETHER THERE MAY BE CONFUSION BETWEEN A WORKING RELATIONSHIP AND FRIENDSHIPS 4HE BAR STAFF WORK EXTREMELY HARD AS DO THE MANAGERS AND SUPERVISORS AND EACH DESERVES EQUAL RESPECT AND COURTESY )F ANY MEMBER OF 5NION STAFF FEELS THEY HAVE BEEN DISMISSED UNFAIRLY THEN THEY ARE WITHIN THEIR RIGHTS TO APPEAL THE DECISION AND TO DISCUSS THEIR OPTIONS WITH A 5NION 3ABBATICAL /FlCER
!SSESSED ON 7IKIPEDIA 3TUDENTS STUDYING FOR AN -! WITH $R .ICOLA 0RATT IN 0OLITICS AND )N TERNATIONAL 2ELATIONS WILL BE GRAD ED BASED ON THEIR CONTRIBUTIONS TO 7IKIPEDIA 4HEY ARE EXPECTED TO EDIT EIGHT ARTICLES ON THE -IDDLE %AST TO EN SURE THAT THEY ARE UNBIASED THEN WRITE THEIR OWN PUBLISHED PIECE 4HE IDEA HAS INTRIGUED THE ACA DEMIC COMMUNITY GIVEN THE LESS THAN STELLAR REPUTATION 7IKIPEDIA HAS FOR ACCURACY 4HE PLAN IS NOT ONLY TO EDUCATE OUR -! STUDENTS BUT ALSO TO TRY TO HELP IMPROVE THE LEVEL OF INFORMA TION AVAILABLE FOR THE PUBLIC $R 0RATT IS ASSESSING THE SUCCESS OF THIS PROJECT AND IF IT GOES WELL WOULD LIKE TO EXTEND IT TO UNDER GRADUATE TEACHING NEXT YEAR
4ONY "ENN TO VISIT .ORWICH 4HE VETERAN ,ABOUR POLITICIAN 4ONY "ENN WILL BE VISITING .ORWICH TO TALK AT A PUBLIC MEETING IN TWO WEEKS 4HE MEETING ARRANGED BY .OR WICH 3TOP 4HE 7AR #OALITION AND #.$ WILL BE AT 3T !NDREW S (ALL ON 7EDNESDAY -ARCH AT PM 4ONY "ENN HAS BEEN AN INSPIRA TION FOR MANY STUDENTS
7ATERFRONT 4EXT 3CAM $O 9OU .EED ! (EARING !ID
3TUDENTS WALK FROM #ALIFORNIA TO .ORWICH IN HOURS -EGAN "AY $ORMAN
*ANE $OUGLAS .EWS %DITOR ! a TEXT SCAM CLAIMING THAT THE 7ATERFRONT IS SHUTTING DOWN HAS COST 7ATERFRONT LOVERS DEARLY )NCESSANT RUMOURS USUALLY EMA NATING FROM LOCAL KIDS ALLEGING THAT THE 7ATERFRONT IS SHUTTING DOWN DUE TO LICENSING PROBLEMS ARE COM PLETELY UNFOUNDED 4HE 7ATERFRONT IS NOT SHUTTING DOWN DUE TO PROB LEMS WITH THE #OUNCIL OR BECAUSE OF lNANCIAL DIFlCULTIES IT ACTUALLY MADE A a PROlT LAST YEAR 4HE TEXT SCAM WHICH WAS POST ED ON THE .ORWICH -Y3PACE PAGE ASKED PEOPLE TO JOIN A TEXT PETITION 4HE POST CLAIMED THAT THE OWNERS NEEDED SIGNATURES TO STOP THE 7ATERFRONT FROM CLOSING (OW EVER ALARMED CLUBBERS RECEIVED A SECOND BLOW WHEN THEY DISCOVERED THAT THE TEXT WHICH WAS SUPPOSED TO COST P ACTUALLY LANDED THEM WITH A a BILL 4HE 7ATERFRONT OWNERS KNEW
NOTHING OF THE PETITION AND HAVE SINCE POSTED ON THEIR SITE TO SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT ONCE AND FOR ALL h*UST FOR THE RECORD WE WOULD LIKE TO DISMISS ALL RUMOURS THAT THE 7A TERFRONT IS CLOSING 7E HAVE NOT LOST OUR LEASE THE BUILDING HAS NOT BEEN SOLD AND NOR HAS THE LAND v 4HIS COMES AT A TIME WHEN THE SMALL SCALE .ORWICH MUSIC SCENE IS BECOMING ENDANGERED ,OCAL SMALL MUSIC VENUES ARE DEPRECIATING RAP IDLY lRST THE &ERRYBOAT CLOSED BE CAUSE OF COMPLAINTS ABOUT NOISE AND THEN THE !LIBI ONCE THE HOME OF ASPIRING AND VETERAN MUSICIANS ALIKE WAS TURNED INTO A GENERIC WINE BAR .OW THE 2OMANY HAS BEEN STRIPPED OF ITS MUSIC LICENCE DUE TO hA MALICIOUS NOISE COMPLAINTv )T IS NO WONDER THEN THAT FANS OF THE 7ATERFRONT FEARED FOR THE VEN UE S FUTURE 4HEY PROBABLY SHARE THE SENTIMENTS OF THE 2OMANY S OWN ERS WHO REMAIN CONVINCED THAT h.ORWICH #ITY #OUNCIL WILL NOT BE HAPPY WHILST THERE IS A MUSIC VENUE LEFT IN .ORWICH v
3ATURDAY RD -ARCH SAW DEDICATED 5%! STUDENTS PARTAKE IN A MAMMOTH SPONSORED WALK ALL THE WAY FROM #ALIFORNIA TO .ORWICH IN A BID TO RAISE MONEY FOR #OMIC 2ELIEF -UCH INTRIGUE AND INCREDULITY SURROUNDED THEIR MISSION UNTIL IT WAS REVEALED THAT THE START POINT FOR THE WALK WAS IN FACT THE BEACH TOWN OF #ALIFORNIA .ORFOLK AND NOT THE FAVOURITE HAUNT OF THE "EACH "OYS (OWEVER THIS WAS STILL NO MEAN FEAT 4HE DETERMINED STUDENTS FACED AN AM START AND COVERED MILES BEFORE THEY REACHED 5%! S "LUE "AR AND A HALF HOURS LATER TIRED BUT GLOWING (IGHLIGHTS OF THE DAY INCLUDED A TRIP TO &LEGGBURGH 6ILLAGE 4ABLE 4OP 3ALE WHERE "RENDAN !PPLETON BOUGHT SOME ORNAMENTAL lSH AND A DRAMA INVOLVING 3AMUEL 'RIFlN BEING CHASED OUT OF 3OUTH 7ALSHAM BY ANGRY LOCALS WITH A PITBULL TERRIER 3AM CONCLUDED h) DON T KNOW WHO WAS SCARIER THE DOG OR ITS OWNERS BUT IT WAS CERTAINLY WORTH IT FOR SUCH A GOOD CAUSE v !NOTHER WALKER $AVE "RADSHAW ADDED h!SIDE FROM THE CHINA lSH AND THE CHASE THE MOST EXCITING THING ABOUT THE WALK IS GOING TO BE
lNDING OUT JUST HOW MUCH WE VE MADE OVERALL ) VE RAISED a MYSELF AND WE RE FAIRLY CONlDENT THE TOTAL WILL BE GETTING INTO FOUR lGURES v 4HE WALK ALONG WITH A HOUR MARATHON LIVE BROADCAST FROM THE "LUE "AR IS ALL PART OF ,IVEWIRE S CONTRIBUTION TO (EARING !ID (EARING !ID BEGAN LAST YEAR AS A HUGELY SUCCESSFUL CHARITY EVENT FOR 5%! CREATED AND LAID ON BY THE 5NIVERSITY S STUDENT RADIO STATION ,IVEWIRE 4HIS YEAR IT HAS GONE TO A NATIONAL LEVEL TO BECOME THE BIGGEST COLLABORATIVE EFFORT IN THE HISTORY OF 5+ STUDENT RADIO /VER THE COURSE OF THIS MONTH NINE STUDENT STATIONS ARE TEAMING UP WITH 0ULSE 2ATED TO PRESENT A WEEK
LONG SERIES OF LIVE EVENTS ROCKING CAMPUSES ACROSS THE 5+ FOR #OMIC 2ELIEF 4HURSDAY -ARCH WILL SEE 5%! S LIVE HOUR PARTY KICKING OFF AT MIDDAY IN THE "LUE "AR INCLUDING EVERYTHING FROM LIVE BANDS COMEDY AND AUCTIONS TO A BATTLE OF THE SOCIETIES 4HE TOTAL RAISED BY THE INTREPID WALKERS WILL BE REVEALED ALONG WITH FOOTAGE OF THE VENTURE 7ITH A BIG POST ESSAY CROWD EXPECTED IT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD TIME IS CERTAINLY IN STORE 4HE LINE UP FOR 5%! S OWN EVENT ON TH -ARCH IS ONLINE AT WWW LIVEWIRE COM AND DETAILS OF HOW TO DONATE CAN BE FOUND ON WWW HEARINGAID COM
#/.#2%4% 7EDNESDAY TH -ARCH
4HIRD 4IME ,UCKY 5NION SEEKS 3PORTS /FlCER FOR LONG WALKS ROMANTIC MEALS AND FUN .OMINATIONS ARE NOW OPEN FOR THE PART TIME POSITION OF 3PORTS /FlCER 4HE TRI ELECTIONS WILL BE HELD IN WEEK 4HIS GIVES POTENTIAL CANDIDATES lVE WEEKS TO POLISH UP THEIR SPEECH SKILLS PERFECT THEIR POLICIES AND TWEAK THEIR MANIFESTO 4HIS IS THE THIRD TIME THE NOMINATIONS HAVE BEEN OPENED SO STUDENTS ARE HOPING IT WILL BE THIRD TIME LUCKY 4HERE MUST BE A STUDENT OUT THERE WHO WOULD LIKE TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE AND HELP THE SPORTS CLUBS 9OU DO NOT HAVE TO BE SUPER lT OR EVEN SPORTY BUT YOU DO HAVE TO HAVE THE BALLS TO DO THE JOB
.ORWICH (EATING 5P 4HIS YEAR .ORWICH WAS VOTED ONE OF THE hCOOLESTv CITIES TO BE A STUDENT BY 4HE )NDEPENDANT AND NOW IT HAS REACHED THE DIZZYING HEIGHTS OF BEEN DEDICATED A WHOLE FEATURE IN (EAT MAGAZINE (EAT DESCRIBES OUR lNE CITY AS hA TRULY BEAUTIFUL PLACE TO BE .ORWICH IS VERY MUCH A FORWARD THINKING CITY WITH NEW DELIGHTS POPPING UP ALL THE TIME v
4HE WINNERS OF %XEC FACTOR
***OE #ONBOY
#ASSANDRA #AVALLARO
$EMOCRACY WAS PUT INTO ACTION AT 5%! LAST WEEK AS STUDENTS VOTED IN THE 5NION ELECTIONS FOR A NEW %XEC UTIVE COMMITTEE FACULTY CONVENORS AND .53 CONFERENCE DELEGATES 4HE lERCEST COMPETITION WAS FOR THE %XECUTIVE COMMITTEE WITH CANDIDATES ARRIVING WELL BEFORE AM AND ROPING IN ADDITIONAL SUPPORT ERS TO HELP WITH THE TIRING PROCESS OF CAMPAIGNING 4HIS ELECTION WAS UNUSUAL NOT FOR THE LACK OF VOTERS BUT FOR THE LACK OF CANDIDATES 4HE CANDIDATES FOR 7ELFARE !CADEMIC AND 3OCIETIES OFlCERS FACED NO OPPOSITION OTHER THAN THE OPTION TO RE OPEN NOMINA TIONS AND THERE WERE NO CANDIDATES AT ALL FOR 3PORTS 7OMEN S AND 0UB LICITY OFlCERS (OWEVER EVEN UNOPPOSED CAN DIDATES SPENT TWO FULL DAYS CAM PAIGNING TO GAIN VOTES 2UTH 3TONE THE 7ELFARE /FlCER ELECT SAID h) HAVE NO OPPONENT BUT ) M SO PAS SIONATE ABOUT THIS JOB ) REALLY WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW ABOUT WHAT ) HAVE PLANNED AND TO KNOW THAT ) VE EARNED ITv 4HE ATMOSPHERE IN THE (IVE
WAS LIKENED TO A CIRCUS AND MANY STUDENTS SPOKE OF FEELING INTIMI DATED BY THE GAUNTLET OF CANDIDATES AND CAMPAIGNERS (ARASSMENT ALSO CAUSED ANNOYANCE FOR MANY STU DENTS AND PROVED COUNTER PRODUC TIVE FOR SOME CANDIDATES !LEX !L LEN ()3 ADMITTED h) DIDN T VOTE FOR SOME OF THE CANDIDATES SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY D BEEN ANNOYING AND KEPT GOING AFTER ME IN THE (IVE v 3TUDENTS COMPLAINED OF BEING APPROACHED BY CAMPAIGNERS AT THEIR TABLES -ATTHEW 2ACZYNSKI A FOURTH YEAR ,,4 STUDENT COMMENTED h) WAS ANNOYED BY PEOPLE HARASSING ME WHILST ) WAS TRYING TO HAVE COF FEE IN PEACE ) M ALL FOR CAMPAIGN ING BUT FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO INTEREST IN VOTING IT S NOT FAIRv 4HOSE STUDENTS WHO DID BRAVE THE MASS OF CAMPAIGNERS WERE mOODED WITH ALL MANNER OF TREATS
#UPCAKES CHOCOLATES AND LOLLIPOPS WERE POPULAR CHOICES BUT SOME CANDIDATES CHOSE THEIR TREATS WITH SPECIlC INTENTIONS &RANKIE 7HIS TON WHO WAS RUNNING FOR ,IBERA TIONS /FlCER HANDED OUT MINIATURE TOY DINOSAURS TO ILLUSTRATE HER CAM PAIGN SLOGAN hLET S MAKE PREJUDICE PREHISTORICv -EANWHILE .ICK +ENT CANDIDATE FOR &INANCE /FlCER TREAT ED VOTERS TO GOLD CHOCOLATE COINS EMBLAZONED WITH HIS NAME BECAUSE h) DON T BELIEVE IN WASTING PAPER SO ) M HANDING OUT EDIBLE mYERSv 3UCH TACTICS APPEALED TO MANY WHO STOCKED UP ON SNACKS AND EVEN MADE RETURN TRIPS /THERS WERE LESS IMPRESSED INCLUDING 3AMANTHA -ORRAD 03) WHO SAID hPEOPLE CAN T BUY ME WITH SWEETS ) VOTE BE CAUSE ) WANT TOv (OWEVER IT IS LIT TLE WONDER THAT CANDIDATES RESORTED TO TREATS TO ENTICE VOTERS AS TURNOUT WAS ONCE AGAIN ONLY AROUND TEN PER CENT OF THE STUDENT POPULATION 4HE RESULTS WERE ANNOUNCED ON 4UESDAY NIGHT AT 3KOOL $AZE A DECISION THAT WASN T APPRECIATED BY A MERRY ,#2 CROWD BECAUSE AS ONE STUDENT SAID hIT WAS THE WRONG PLACE WRONG TIMEv 0ART TIME OFlC ERS TAKE UP THEIR POSTS THIS WEEK AND FULL TIME SABBATICAL OFlCERS BE GIN IN THE SUMMER 4O THE RIGHT IS A FULL LIST OF THE WINNERS
%XEC #OMMS 2OWENA "ODDINGTON &INANCE !NDREW 4AYLOR !CADEMIC #AMMIE &ULMER 7ELFARE 2UTH 3TONE 3OCIETIES !NDY *UDSON ,IBERATIONS "ECKY 7ILSON %THICAL )SSUES 3EAN 2OSE )NTERNATIONAL 4AMSYN 2OSS %NVIRONMENTAL 3ANNAH -ALIK
.53 #ONFERENCE *OE #ONBOY
$AVID 3HEPPARD
-ARTIN *OPP
!NDY *UDSON
4ESSA .ORTH
%DDIE 3HIELDS
!RTS (UMANITIES &ACULTY #OVENOR $AVID 3HEPPARD
&ACULTY OF (EALTH #OVENOR )AN 0OPE
6#S GET PAY RISE .ATALIE ,ASCANCE 6ICE CHANCELLORS AVERAGE SALARIES ROSE BY MORE THAN TWICE THAT OF LECTURERS LAST YEAR WITH THE HIGHEST PAID EARNING a A RECENT SURVEY HAS REVEALED &IGURES PUBLISHED BY THE 4IMES (IGHER %DU CATION 3UPPLEMENT HAVE REVEALED THAT THE AVER AGE VICE CHANCELLOR EARNED AROUND a IN THE ACADEMIC YEAR OF a MORE THAN THE PREVIOUS YEAR AND ANOTHER PAY RISE IS EXPECTED TO BE ANNOUNCED FOR THIS YEAR 5NIVERSITY AND #OLLEGE 5NION JOINT GENERAL SECRETARY 3ALLY (UNT SAID h!T A TIME WHEN THE WHOLE SECTOR NEEDS TO UNITE AROUND DEFENDING ACADEMIC VALUES SECURING BETTER FUNDING AND MAINTAINING OUR PROUD WORLD CLASS TEACHING AND RESEARCH THE HANDSOME REWARDS FOR THOSE AT THE TOP THREATEN THIS VITAL UNITY AND SEND EX ACTLY THE WRONG MESSAGE TO UNIVERSITY STAFF h4HEIR PAY RISES COME IN A YEAR WHEN STAFF WORKLOADS HAVE CONTINUED TO INCREASE CLASS SIZES HAVE REMAINED UNACCEPTABLY HIGH AND JOB SECURITY REMAINS A DISTANT ASPIRATION FOR THOU SANDS OF lXED TERM OR HOURLY PAID ACADEMIC AND RELATED STAFF v 4HE ANNOUNCEMENT HAS ADDED lRE TO THE DE BATE ON TOP UP FEES WITH MANY STUDENTS ANGRY THAT THEIR MONEY IS NOT GOING TO LECTURERS AND DOING LITTLE TO IMPROVE QUALITY OF EDUCATION #RITICS OF THE FEES ARGUE THAT WITH THE NUMBER OF STUDENTS ENROLLING IN DEGREE PROGRAMS FALLING BY IN IT SEEMS UNLIKELY THAT THE GOV ERNMENT WILL REACH ITS TARGET OF GETTING OF YOUNG PEOPLE INTO HIGHER EDUCATION BY THE END
OF THE DECADE 4HE lGURES HAVE CAUSED ALARM AMONGST CONCERN THAT HIGHER EDUCATION INSTITUTIONS ARE BECOMING INCREASINGLY CONCERNED WITH PROlTS AND MARKETING AND LESS CONCERNED WITH QUALITY OF TEACHING 5NIVERSITIES CURRENTLY GENERATE a BILLION OF OUTPUT A YEAR MAKING THEM A LARGER PART OF THE ECONOMY THAN EITHER THE 5+ PHARMACEUTI CAL INDUSTRY OR THE AIRCRAFT INDUSTRY 4HIS ALONG WITH AN INCREASINGLY COMPETITIVE GLOBAL MARKET MEANS THAT UNIVERSITIES MUST BE RUN LIKE A BUSI NESS IN ORDER TO BE SUCCESSFUL 2OBERT 2EICH A PROFESSOR OF SOCIAL AND ECO NOMIC POLICY AT "RANDEIS 5NIVERSITY HAS WARNED THAT IN !MERICA hPRODUCTS HIGHER EDUCATION PRODUCTS ARE SOLD ON THE MARKET THERE IS A KIND OF MARKETISATION THAT HAS SET IN v (E WARNS THAT "RITAIN MAY BE FOLLOWING IN !MERICA S FOOTSTEPS AND THAT THIS ATMOSPHERE OF @CORPORATE EDUCATION IS DAMAGING FOR STUDENTS AND SOCIETY AS A WHOLE AS THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS DEGREE PROGRAMS ARE BECOMING PRODUCTS TO BE BROUGHT ONLY BY THOSE WHO CAN AFFORD THEM
7EDNESDAY TH -ARCH #/.#2%4%
)NTERNATIONAL 0ARTY "IRD S EYE VIEW
RUNNING 4HEY STRESS THAT THEY ARE NOT ASKING FOR MASSIVE SACRIFICES BUT INDIVIDUAL CONSIDERATIONS IN OUR DAY TO DAY LIVES SUCH AS WALK 4 H E F R E E O P E N A I R E X H I B I T I O N ING OR BIKING TO WORK INSTEAD OF OF 9ANN !RTHUS "ERTRAND S PHOTO DRIVING LAKE WERE JUST A FEW THE FREE DISHES GRAPHIC PORTRAIT OF OUR PLANET HAS 4HE EXHIBITION HAS A VERY RELAXED !NNA 3TEWARD COME TO .ORWICH 4HE EXHIBITION FORMAT WITH THE IMAGES ARRANGED ON OFFER !FTER THE CROWDS HAD FINISHED RUNS UNTIL THE TH OF !PRIL AND OUTSIDE THE &ORUM ALONG WITH A GI %DITOR SHOWS LARGE PHOTOGRAPHS CON ANT MAP OF THE WORLD )NSIDE THERE QUEUING THE PARTY BEGAN WITH PER FORMANCES FROM VARIOUS SOCIETIES TRASTING IMAGES OF VAST GEOGRAPHICAL IS A SHORT l LM BY 9ANN ABOUT HOW FORMATIONS TO INTIMATE GLIMPSES OF HE CAPTURED THIS WORK AND THE MO 4HIS YEARS ANNUAL )NTERNATIONAL AND STUDENTS FROM -EXICAN 3OC S 0ARTY HELD IN THE ,#2 IN 7EEK DRAMATIC ENTRANCE ONTO THE STAGE SOCIETIES 9ANN S IMAGES SHOW HOW TIVATION BEHIND IT 4HE EXHIBITION HUMAN ACTIVITY HAS LEFT A GLOBAL IM CONTINUES OUTSIDE #HAPELl ELD -ALL WAS ONE OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL AND B A L A N C I N G B U R N I N G C A N D L E S O N LARGEST IN ITS HISTORY THEIR HEADS TO #HINESE DRAGONS PRINT !S A RECORD OF THE MODERN EN AND ALONG 3T 0ETER S STREET VIRONMENT HIS COLLECTION OF PHOTOS )T IS RARE TO SEE AWARENESS RAISED 7ITH THE BUDGET DOUBLED THIS AND KUNG FU YEAR THE FOOD STRETCHED OUT OF THE %MMA (UTT A l RST YEAR ,)4 STU ACT AS A BENCHMARK FOR THE FUTURE ABOUT THE CURRENT IMPACT WE ARE AND AT THE SAME TIME HAS THE POTEN HAVING ON THE ENVIRONMENT WHILE ,#2 AND INTO THE (IVE 3TUDENTS DENT SAID hIT LITERALLY FELT LIKE ) HAD FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD CAME TO GONE TO A DIFFERENT COUNTRY ) HAD TIAL TO PROVOKE ACTION NOW CELEBRATING THE PLANET S BEAUTY AND 4 H E & O R U M H O P E S T R Y I N GCULTURAL DIVERSITY h/UR %ARTH IS ART T O GETHER TO PROVIDE SAMPLE NATIONAL A BOARDING PASS ,#2 TICKET GOT DISHES AND STUDENTS FROM ALL OVER MY PASSPORT STAMPED TRIED FOOD ACHIEVE PLEDGES TO REDUCE OUR THE PHOTOGRAPHER IS ONLY THE WIT ENVIRONMENTAL FOOTPRINT DURING THE NESS v SAYS 9ANN WHEN EXPLAINING C A M P U S C A M E T O G E T H E R T O ) WOULDN T HAVE HAD THE CHANCE TO E A T EIGHT WEEKS THAT THE EXHIBITION IS HIS WORK THEM 0AD THAI SUSHI AND SOUP OTHERWISE AND DIDN T EVEN HAVE JET MADE FROM NETTLES FOUND BY THE LAG THE NEXT DAY v
(ANNAH .EWTON 4URF %DITOR
/PEN BANK HOLIDAYS -/.$!9 4(523$!9 PM &2)$!9 3!452$!9 -)$.)'(4 35.$!9 PM
W W
#/.#2%4% 7EDNESDAY TH -ARCH Fr ee  2 Co Star :1      t Yo llec  ur t i n  To ke g  ns Â
$O 9OU (AVE %LECTION 0ROBLEMS )T IS ALWAYS AT THIS TIME OF YEAR THAT PATIENTS ENTER MY SURGERY AND ASK IF ) CAN HELP CURE THEIR ELECTION PROBLEMS /NE SUCH INCIDENT HAPPENED LAST WEEK ! YOUNG FURTIVE MAN SHUFmED IN AND ADMITTED HE HAD NOT HAD AN ELECTION FOR SEVERAL MONTHS ) ENQUIRED AS TO HOW HE HAD MANAGED FOR SO LONG WITHOUT HAVING BEEN ELECTED TO WHICH HE TOLD ME HE HAD TAKEN UP GARDENING TO KEEP HIS MIND OFF SUCH MATTERS )T IS IN SITUATIONS LIKE THIS THAT ) WOULD RECOMMEND THAT YOU SUBSTITUTE THE WATERING CAN AND SHEARS FOR A GENERAL ELECTION OINTMENT 4HESE LIKE ELECTIONS COME IN MANY SHAPES AND SIZES AND CAN BRING NEW LIFE INTO YOUR ELECTION AND RE INVIGORATE IT (OWEVER BE WARNED DO NOT OVER USE THESE MEDICINES OR THE SIZE OF YOUR ELECTION WILL DIMINISH CONSIDERABLY AND CAUSE SIGNIlCANT EMBARRASSMENT $R $OUGAL 3CROTEPICKER
#RASH #OURSE IN #ONCRETE 4HIS 3EPTEMBER WILL SEE THE lRST INTAKE OF STUDENTS AT 5%! ENROLLING ON A NEW DEGREE COURSE DEVOTED ENTIRELY TO #ONCRETE THAT DOYEN OF &LEET 3TREET JOURNALISM 3TUDENTS WILL UNDERGO AN INTENSIVE THREE YEAR TEACHING PROGRAMME EXAMINING JUST HOW THE NEWSPAPER IS PUT TOGETHER WHY IT HAS BEEN SUCH A HUGE SUCCESS AND WHICH IS THE BEST WAY TO WRAP lSH AND CHIPS IN IT $IRECTOR OF 4EACHING 0AMELA #ORNERHORN TOLD 4HE %NQUIRER THAT THE COURSE WOULD BE MORE THAN JUST SIMPLY READING THE NEWSPAPER h)F THE STUDENTS MAKE RAPID PROGRESS THEN THERE IS THE DISTINCT POSSIBILITY THAT WE MAY MOVE ONTO THE lENDISH CROSSWORD !ND IF WE RE FEELING PARTICULARLY ADVENTUROUS THEN THE 3UDOKU IS A DElNITE CHALLENGE v SHE SAID 4HE %DITOR OF #ONCRETE 3CINTILLA 4AMPORNEAU SUPPORTED THIS MOVE
SAYING h#ONCRETE IS ONE OF THE CULTURAL HIGHLIGHTS OF STUDENTS TIME HERE AT 5%! )T IS RIGHT AND PROPER THAT THEY CAN LEARN HOW WE DO ITv "UT -S #ORNERHORN ROUNDED ANGRILY ON THOSE WHO ACCUSED THIS OF BEING YET ANOTHER @-ICKEY -OUSE DEGREE h) AM ANGRY 4HIS IS NOT YET ANOTHER @-ICKEY -OUSE COURSE v SHE SAID (OWEVER -S #ORNERHORN DID SUGGEST THAT THIS DEVELOPMENT COULD LEAD TO OTHER NEW DEGREE COURSES OF A SIMILAR CONTENT BEING ESTABLISHED IN THE NOT TOO DISTANT FUTURE 3HE SAID h7ELL OBVIOUSLY STUDENTS AT 5%! ARE CRYING OUT FOR A DEGREE IN "EANO 3TUDIES ) MEAN THE CRAZY CAPERS OF $ENNIS THE -ENNIS -INNIE THE -INX AND THE "ASH 3TREET +IDS WILL PROVIDE STUDENTS WITH MUCH TO DEBATE AND ANALYSE v
$EGREES TO BE !WARDED IN ,OTTERY 4O THE DISMAY OF MANY 5%! HAS PUT OUT A PRESS RELEASE CONlRMING WIDESPREAD RUMOURS THAT DEGREES WILL NOW BE AWARDED TO STUDENTS ON THE BASIS OF A LOTTERY 9ESTERDAY 0ROFESSOR -UNGO +ILPSCUTTER (EAD OF THE !DMINISTRATION /FlCE ANNOUNCED THAT THE PLANS WOULD BEGIN THIS SUMMER IN TIME FOR THE GRADUATION CEREMONY h9ES IT IS TRUE 5%! IS SO lNANCIALLY STUFFED THAT IT CANNOT AFFORD TO PAY FOR PEOPLE TO MARK EXAMS AND ESSAYS 3O AS A MONEY SAVING EXERCISE EACH STUDENT WILL BE ENTERED INTO A LOTTERY TO DETERMINE THE lNAL GRADE THEY ARE AWARDED v HE SAID "UT 0ROF +ILPSCUTTER WENT ON TO DENY THAT STUDENTS WOULD HAVE TO PAY IN ORDER TO ENTER THE LOTTERY DESPITE 4HE %NQUIRER HAVING IT ON GOOD AUTHORITY THAT AN ADMINISTRATIVE CHARGE OF a WOULD BE LEVIED 4HESE CONTROVERSIAL PLANS HAVE BEEN SLAMMED BY THE STUDENT 5NION !CADEMIC /FlCER (UGO 3PRITING 'AAGAA SAID h4HIS IS TOTALLY DISGRACEFUL BEHAVIOUR COMING FROM A UNIVERSITY AUTHORITY THAT OUGHT TO KNOW BETTER !FTER WORKING HARD ;SIC= FOR THREE YEARS STUDENTS WILL NOW HAVE TO STUMP UP FOR THE PRIVILEGE OF BEING AWARDED A RANDOM GRADE 7HAT WITH TOP UP FEES LIVING EXPENSES AND THE PRICE OF SNAKEBITE INCREASING FOURFOLD MEASURES LIKE THIS ARE GOING TO MAKE STUDENTS THINK AGAIN ABOUT COMING TO 5%! v (E ALSO ADDED h)T IS SO UNETHICAL v -EANWHILE SECRET PLANS FOR THE RUNNING OF THIS ,OTTERY HAVE BEEN LEAKED TO 4HE %NQUIRER )T IS UNDERSTOOD THAT THE ,OTTERY WILL BE HELD ON A 3ATURDAY EVENING
$ISTRIBUTION -ANAGER #ONCRETE 6!#!.#9 &/2 0!24 4)-% ./27)#( !PPLICATIONS ARE INVITED FOR THE POST OF $ISTRIBUTION -ANAGER #ONCRETE FOR THE PERIOD 3EPTEMBER TO *UNE 4HE ROLE IS OPEN TO ANY STUDENT AT 5%! AND INVOLVES CO ORDINATING THE DISTRIBUTION OF THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER ONCE A FORTNIGHT DURING TERM TIME 3UCCESSFUL CANDIDATES WILL BE HIGHLY RELIABLE AND ORGANISED ! FULL CLEAN DRIVING LICENSE IS ESSENTIAL 0LEASE SEND A #6 AND COVERING LETTER FOR THE ATTENTION OF THE %DITOR 3ARAH %DWARDES TO #ONCRETE 0/ "/8 .ORWICH .2 4"
#LOSING DATE FOR APPLICATIONS TH -ARCH
AND BROADCAST ON ""# / N E
SOMETIME B E T W E E N $OCTOR 7HO AND #ASUALTY 5%! IS CURRENTLY IN TALKS WITH ,ORRAINE +ELLY TO SEE IF SHE CAN HOST THE SHOW "EFORE THE DRAW TAKES PLACE A BAND WILL PERFORM THEIR LATEST SINGLE AND THERE WILL BE SOME AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION IN THE FORM OF A WACKY QUIZ OR CHILDISH PRANK 4HE DRAW ITSELF WILL BE LEFT FOR THE LAST lVE MINUTES OF THE SHOW AND WILL BE OVERSEEN BY 4HE 6OICE /F 4HE "ALLS 4HE ,OTTERY MACHINE USED WILL BE GIVEN A DAFT NAME PROBABLY 4ILLY AND BALLS WILL BE RELEASED INTO IT n ONE FOR EACH STUDENT AT 5%! ,OTTERY TICKETS CAN BE PURCHASED FROM THE 5NION 0APER 3HOP AND A DEDICATED ,OTTERY STALL IN THE (IVE !ND WHO KNOWS THEY MIGHT EVEN BRING BACK -YSTIC -EG $ESPITE THE PROGRAMME BEING MONTHS AWAY A CAMPAIGN AGAINST THE ,OTTERY HAS ALREADY BEGUN 0ROMINENT 5NION ACTIVIST (ILDRED 0LUSPART WILL BE ORGANISING A BOYCOTT OF 5%! TO COINCIDE WITH THE ,OTTERY TAKING PLACE h)T WILL ALSO INVOLVE THOUSANDS OF STUDENTS CHAINING THEMSELVES TO ,ORRAINE +ELLY IN AN ATTEMPT TO SABOTAGE THE SHOW v HE TOLD 4HE %NQUIRER WITH A STRAIGHT FACE AND TRYING NOT TO SMIRK
#ONCRETE %DITOR
6!#!.#9 &/2 &5,, 4)-% 4HE POSITION IS ONLY OPEN TO CURRENT STUDENTS AT THE 5NIVERSITY OF %AST !NGLIA AND MAY BE TAKEN AS A YEAR OUT DURING A DEGREE INTERCALATION OR DIRECTLY AFTER GRADUATION
4HE SUCCESSFUL APPLICANT NEED NOT HAVE PREVIOUSLY BEEN IN VOLVED IN THE PRODUCTION OF #ONCRETE BUT MUST BE ABLE TO DEMONSTRATE THE FOLLOWING s %XCELLENT GRAMMAR AND EDITING SKILLS s 4EAM LEADERSHIP QUALITIES s 'OOD ORGANISATION AND TIME KEEPING s !N UNDERSTANDING OF THE NEEDS OF THE #ONCRETE 3OCIETY s +NOWLEDGE OF )N$ESIGN AND 0HOTO3HOP s &AMILIARITY WITH MEDIA ADVERTISING SALES s !WARENESS OF PRINT MEDIA AND PRODUCTION TECHNIQUES 0LEASE SEND A #6 AND A PROPOSAL OUTLINING YOUR PLANS FOR THE PAPER UP TO WORDS FOR THE ATTENTION OF THE %DITOR !NNA 3TEWARD TO #ONCRETE 0/ "/8 .ORWICH .2 4" #LOSING DATE FOR APPLICATIONS TH -ARCH
7EDNESDAY TH -ARCH #/.#2%4%
3EAMEN
)N LIGHT OF THE RECENT CONTROVERSY ABOUT THE INVESTIGATION INTO THE ALLEGED PURCHASING OF PEERAGE *OSH ,ITTLE LOOKS AT THE OTHER WAYS TO STAKE YOUR CLAIM IN A COUNTRY AND AT THE BIZARRE PRINCIPALITY THAT IS 3EALAND
,
IKE MANY OTHER MORAL LAW ABIDING SUPPORT ERS OF THE "RITISH #ON STITUTIONAL FRAMEWORK ) WAS SHOCKED AND SADDENED AT RECENT SUGGESTIONS THAT PEOPLE WOULD CON TEMPLATE PAYING FOR PEERAGE h7HAT KIND OF UNJUST WORLD ARE WE LIVING IN v ) THOUGHT h7HAT KIND OF MES SAGE ARE WE SENDING TO THE YOUNG IMPRESSIONABLE BURGER MUNCHING YOUTH OF TODAY v h7HAT A SHAME THAT WE HAVE STOOPED SO LOWv (OW EVER THE MOST TROUBLING THING ABOUT THIS STATE OF AFFAIRS IS NOT THE OBVIOUS ETHICAL CONCERN NOR THE WORRIES ABOUT THE (OUSE OF ,ORDS TURNING INTO A VERY EXPENSIVE 'ENTLEMAN S CLUB )N MY MIND THE FUNDAMENTAL ISSUE HERE IS THAT THE @SUPER RICH SEEM TO HAVE COMPLETELY LOST THEIR MARBLES &AIR ENOUGH ONCE YOU HAVE THE .OTTING (ILL TOWN HOUSE THE LUXURY YACHT AND THE !STON -ARTIN YOU NEED SOMETHING TO SPEND YOUR SUBSTANTIAL WEALTH ON BUT LET S LOOK A LITTLE DEEPER AT WHAT IT MIGHT TAKE TO SIT ON THE HALLOWED RED BENCHES &OR STARTERS YOU RE UNLIKELY TO GET WITHIN SMELLING DISTANCE OF THE UPPER HOUSE FOR ANYTHING LESS THAN 7AYNE 2OONEY S DAILY WAGE OR THE COST OF 6ICTORIA "ECKHAM S LAST HAIR CUT %VEN FOR THE àBER RICH THAT IS A SUBSTANTIAL PILE OF CASH 9OU RE ALSO NOT GOING TO GET INTO THE ,ORDS UN LESS YOU SHOW SOME KIND OF LOYALTY TO THE PARTY THAT YOU ARE PAYING AND LET S FACE IT @(IS 2OYAL 4ONYNESS ISN T EXACTLY m AVOUR OF THE MONTH AT THE MOMENT IS HE 3O ONCE YOU VE GOT YOUR 0RADA CLAD BUTTOCKS WEDGED IN BETWEEN THE SECOND %ARL OF 7INCHESTER AND "ARONESS $UDLEY (UGES WHAT HAP PENS THEN 7ELL IN THE ,ORDS SAT TIMES 4HAT S A LOT OF GOLF DAYS USED UP !ND A TYPICAL AGENDA DURING THOSE DAYS 7ELL THERE IS A LOT OF SITTING OCCASIONAL BUT MANDATORY SHOUTING OF h2A RA RAv A BIT OF l ST WAVING AND A LOT OF ARGU ING ABOUT THE BEST WAY TO STOP THOSE BURGER MUNCHING HOODED YOUTHS FROM @HAPPY SLAPPING OLD AGE PENSIONERS WHILE THEY ARE TRYING TO DO THEIR SHOPPING 4HIS SOUNDS COM PLETELY ABSURD TO ME 7HY NOT LEAVE THE HARD WORK OF THE (OUSE OF ,ORDS TO SOMEBODY ELSE AND GET ON WITH ACTUALLY ENJOYING ALL THOSE LOVELY LIQUID ASSETS !FTER ALL IF YOU ARE THE KIND OF PERSON THAT IS INTERESTED IN BUYING YOURSELF A PEERAGE CHANCES ARE YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BE ALL THAT INTERESTED IN DEBATING GOVERNMENT POLICY )F YOU ARE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO REALLY IMPRESS THE NEIGHBOURS BUT WITHOUT ALL THE RESPONSIBILITY THEN LOOK NO FURTHER THAN 3EALAND &OR THE VERY MODEST PRICE OF a PLUS
a POSTAGE AND PACKAGING IT IS NOW POSSIBLE TO PURCHASE TITLES SUCH AS ,ORD ,ADY "ARON OR "ARONESS OF 3EALAND 3URE THE LEGAL STATUS OF THE SO CALLED @PRINCIPALITY MAY BE IN QUESTION BUT BUYING A @SEASON TICKET IN THE (OUSE OF ,ORDS WON T COME WITHOUT THE RISK OF IT BEING SNATCHED BACK FROM YOU IF THE WHOLE DODGY DEAL COMES TO LIGHT 3O YOU RE PROBABLY WONDERING WHAT 3EALAND IS AND WHAT EXACTLY YOU WOULD BE BUYING IN TO 7ELL HERE IS YOUR GUIDE TO ALL YOU LL EVER NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE SMALL MARINE PARADISE THAT YOU COULD SOON BECOME PART OF 3EALAND BEGAN LIFE DURING 7ORLD 7AR )) AS A "RITISH MILITARY BASE DESIGNED TO DEFEND %NGLAND AGAINST 'ERMAN AIR RAIDS )N A SOMEWHAT STRANGE DECISION "RITAIN OPTED TO CONSTRUCT THE BASE SEVEN NAUTICAL MILES OFF THE EAST COAST OF %NGLAND AND MORE THAN THREE MILES OUTSIDE OF ITS RANGE OF TERRITORIAL WATERS )N OTHER WORDS 3EALAND WAS SITU ATED IN )NTERNATIONAL WATERS AND THEREFORE UNDER THE CONTROL OF NO OTHER COUNTRY !FTER THE WAR ENDED THE TROOPS WERE WITHDRAWN FROM ALL SUCH SEA FORTS AND ALL BUT ONE WERE DEMOLISHED ! SHARP MINDED GENTLEMAN NAMED 2OY "ATES SEIZED THE OPPORTUNITY CLAIMED THE MAN MADE ISLAND AND SET UP CAMP !FTER MUCH LEGAL DEBATE IT WAS AGREED THAT NO COUNTRY COULD STAKE A LEGITIMATE CLAIM TO THE FORT AND -R "ATES NOW 0RINCE 2OY OF 3EALAND DECLARED HIMSELF ABSOLUTE SOVEREIGN OF THE NEW STATE 4HE SITUATION BECAME SOMEWHAT QUESTIONABLE IN WHEN "RITAIN EXTENDED ITS TERRITORIAL WATERS TO NAUTICAL MILES THUS ENCOMPASSING 3EALAND )NTERNATIONAL LAW DOES NOT ALLOW THE CLAIM OF NEW LAND DURING THE EXTENSION OF SEA RIGHTS BUT THE QUESTION IS WHETHER THE FORMER FORT CAN ACTUALLY BE CONSIDERED AS @LAND !SSUMING THAT IT CAN THE DECIDING FACTOR IN THE DEBATE ACCORDING TO SEA LAW EXPERT *OHN 'IBSON IS WHETHER IT WAS RECOGNISED AS A NATION BEFORE %ITHER WAY "RITAIN HAS SO FAR BROUGHT NO ACTION TO EVICT 0RINCE 2OY AND SO FOR THE TIME BEING AT LEAST ALL IS WELL 3O WHAT IS THIS GLORIOUS NATION ACTUALLY LIKE 7ELL 3EALAND HAS ITS OWN CURRENCY CALLED THE 3EALAND $OLLAR WHICH IS MAINTAINED AT PARITY WITH THE 53 $OLLAR 4HE FAVOURABLE EXCHANGE RATE WITH THE 53 $OLLAR AT THE PRESENT TIME MAKES THIS A VERY TEMPTING FEATURE *UST IMAGINE ALL THE BOUTIQUE SHOPPING 4HERE IS OF COURSE ALSO A NATIONAL ANTHEM h% -ARE ,IBERTASv &ROM THE 3EA &REEDOM WHICH IS A REAL AURAL TREAT AND ) WOULD STRONGLY ENCOURAGE ANY POTENTIAL 3EALANDERS TO CHECK IT OUT AT HTTP DAVID NATIONAL ANTHEMS
&OR THE VERY MODEST PRICE OF a PLUS a POSTAGE AND PACKAGING IT IS NOW POSSIBLE TO PURCHASE TI TLES SUCH AS ,ORD ,ADY "ARON OR "ARONESS OF 3EAL AND
NET SEA HTM 4HERE IS A RICH SPORTING HERIT AGE ON THE ISLAND WHICH OVER THE YEARS HAS PRODUCED A LIST OF ROBUST SPORTING HEAVYWEIGHTS -INI GOLF IS SOMETHING OF A NATIONAL FAVORITE AND FOR THE PAST TWO SEASONS THE STATE HAS BEEN REPRESENTED ON THE 7ORLD -INI 'OLF 4OUR )N THE COUNTRY S TOP TWO PLAYERS COVERED THEMSELVES IN NATIONAL GLORY BY l NISHING TH AND RD RESPECTIVELY AT THE 7ORLD #RAZY 'OLF #HAMPIONSHIPS AND FOLLOWED THIS UP BY DEMOLISHING THE COMPETI TION TO WIN THE "RIGHTON )NVITATIONAL #OMPETITION /THER POPULAR SPORTS INCLUDE SLOT CAR RACING AND FOOTBALL IN WHICH THE PRINCIPALITY IS REPRE SENTED BY THE $ANISH TEAM 6ESTBJERG 6INTAGE )DR TSFORENING 3EALAND NOW EVEN HAS A SOLE REPRESENTATIVE IN ATHLETICS THANKS TO #ANADIAN $ARREN "LACKBURN VOLUNTEERING HIS SERVICES 3EALAND TODAY IS VERY MUCH A NATION OF THE ST CENTURY 4HE 2OYAL &AMILY HAS STRUCK A DEAL WITH (A VEN#O ,TD AND THAT COMPANY NOW OFFERS h)NTERNET COLOCATION SERVICESv 7HAT THIS MEANS TO YOU AND ME IS THAT FROM 3EALAND ONE CAN REALLY UTILISE THE INTERNET S &5,, POTENTIAL .UDGE NUDGE WINK WINK 4O DATE "RITAIN HAS MADE NO ATTEMPT TO TAKE CONTROL OF 3EALAND AND ALTHOUGH REFUSING TO OFl CIALLY RECOGNISE IT AS AN INDEPENDENT STATE HAS THUS FAR LEFT THE "ATES FAMILY TO LIVE AS IF THIS WERE THE CASE 0RINCE 2OY CONTINUES TO PAY NO "RITISH .ATIONAL )NSURANCE DURING THE TIME HE RESIDES ON 3EALAND SUBSEQUENT TO A RULING BY THE "RITISH $EPART MENT OF (EALTH AND 3OCIAL 3ECURITY S SOLICITOR S BRANCH "RITISH AUTHORITIES HAVE ALSO REFUSED TO TAKE ANY ACTION AGAINST THE USE OF l REARMS ON THE IS LAND DESPITE "RITAIN S SEVERE l REARMS PROHIBITION !S ) M SURE YOU CAN APPRECIATE SECURITY AT 3EALAND IS TIGHT MEANING THAT ACCESS IS RESTRICTED AND PUBLIC VISITS ARE PROHIBITED !LL THE MORE REASON TO GET INVOLVED &ORGET THE (OUSE OF ,ORDS TO REALLY STAND OUT FROM THE CROWD GET YOUR FEET WET
3OME OTHER ORDINARY MEN WHO PLAYED +ING 'IUSEPPE "ARTOLEONI +ING OF 4AVOLARA A SMALL ISLAND OFF THE COAST OF 3ARDINIA BETWEEN AND ,EGEND HAS IT THAT #ARLO !LBERTO +ING OF 3ARDINIA WAS WALKING ON THE ISLAND WHEN HE DISCOVERED 'IUSEPPE )MPRESSED WITH HIS HARMONIOUS LIFESTYLE HE DECIDED TO NAME HIM +ING (IS SOVER EIGNTY LATER CAME IN HANDY WHEN THE )TALIAN GOVERNMENT FAILED TO PROSECUTE HIM FOR BIGAMY STATING THAT THEY DIDN T HAVE THE AUTHORITY
0ATRICK 7ATKINS +ING OF THE 'ALAPAGOS IN 7ATKINS WAS A REDHEADED )RISH SEAMAN WHO LEFT HIS SHIP FOR THE ISOLATION OF THE 'ALAPOGAS ISLANDS 7HEN HE ARRIVED HE CROWNED HIMSELF KING AND SET ABOUT GROWING POTATOES AND PUMPKINS WHICH HE SOLD TO THE SAILORS OF PASSING SHIPS (E DIS COVERED LIFE ON THE ISLAND A LITTLE LONELY AND SO PICKED UP A QUEEN IN 0AYTA 0ERU 5NFORTUNATELY LO CAL POLICE FOUND HIM HIDING ON A BOAT AND SENT HIM TO PRISON WHERE HE EVENTUALLY DIED
%DWARD 4HOMPSON +ING OF .AIKEVA 4HOMPSON FROM )LLINOIS 53! WAS SADLY DUMPED BY HIS GIRLFRIEND AND SO SOUGHT SOLICE AT SEA EVENTUALLY ENDING UP IN THE &IJIS /N HIS ARRIVAL HE HAD A m ING WITH 0RINCESS ,AKANITA DAUGHTER OF THE KING (AV ING LEFT THE 0RINCESS HE LATER REALISED WHAT HE WAS MISSING AND RETURNED TO .AIKEVA TO JOIN INSURGENTS IN AN UPRISING /NCE THE +ING WAS DEAD HE REKINDLED HIS ROMANCE WITH THE 0RINCESS AND ASSUMED THE THRONE
#/.#2%4% 7EDNESDAY TH -ARCH
#IN #ITY 7ITH .ORWICH S LESSER KNOWN CINEMA AMONG STUDENTS CURRENTLY UNDERGOING A DRAMATIC RENOVATION -IRANDA "RYANT TELLS US WHAT THE NEW #INEMA #ITY WILL OFFER WHERE TO FIND IT AND WHAT IT WILL BRING TO THE CITY
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HE NUMBER OF 5%! STUDENTS WHO CANNOT COME TO GRIPS WITH THE GEOGRAPHY OF .ORWICH IS ALARMING &OR THIS REASON IT IS NOT SURPRISING THAT SO MANY DO NOT KNOW WHERE OR WHAT OR WHICH OR WHO OR WHY #INEMA #ITY IS (OWEVER AFTER A MAJOR AND LENGTHY REDEVELOPMENT DUE TO OPEN THIS AUTUMN EVEN THE MOST VAGUES OF STUDENTS WILL NOT BE ABLE TO MISS IT 3O IN LIEU OF THE NAVIGATION PROBLEM RIFE AMONGST STUDENTS AT 5%! #INEMA #ITY IS LOCATED ON 3T !NDREW S 0LAIN OPPOSITE $ELA NEY S AND ACROSS THE BRIDGE FROM THE 0LAYHOUSE /R IF WE WANT TO TAKE THE ARCHETYPAL STUDENT NOTION FURTHER n A SHORT STUMBLE DOWN THE ROAD FROM 0O .A .A 4HE MYTHICAL REPUTATION OF .ORWICH AS THE CITY OF CHURCHES INBREEDING AND !LAN 0ARTRIDGE IS RIDICULOUS THE CHURCHES MYTH IS ACTUALLY TRUE ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU TAKE INTO ACCOUNT ITS THRIVING TRADITION FOR ARTS AND IN PARTICULAR CREATIVE WRITING )N FACT IN WHEN IT OPENED #INEMA #ITY MADE .ORWICH THE lRST %NGLISH CITY TO HAVE AN INDEPENDENT ARTS CINEMA $UE TO THE DOMINANCE OF INTEREST IN THE ARTS AMONGST .ORWICH CITIZENS AND STUDENTS INDEPENDENT AND ALTERNATIVE lLM STILL REMAINS MORE POPULAR IN THE CITY THAN ANY OTHER OUTSIDE OF THE CAPITAL )N WHEN THE CINEMA WAS TEMPORARILY RE HOUSED TO THE 0LAYHOUSE WHERE IT REMAINS UNTIL THE END OF !UGUST THE CHANGE IN LOCATION DID NOT CEASE AS ONE MIGHT EXPECT TO MAINTAIN ITS POPULARITY .OW WITH THE RENOVATION OF THE OLD SIXTEEN CENTURY LISTED VENUE NEARING COMPLETION AND THE STRUCTURAL WORK lNISHED THE INTEREST AND SCENE AROUND ARTS CINEMA IN .ORWICH IS EXPECTED BOOM #INEMA #ITY S CAPACITY HAS EXPANDED DRAMATICALLY DUE TO THE RENOVATION AND NOW BEARS THREE SCREENS INSTEAD OF JUST ONE h"UT HOW v 9OU ASK AS SOMEBODY WHO LAST SAW #INEMA #ITY FOUR YEARS AGO 4HE ANSWER IS THAT TWO SCREENS ARE UNDERGROUND !S SOMEBODY WHO HAS NEVER VISITED THE BUILDING BEFORE ) WAS SO SURPRISED WHEN ) WAS TOLD HOW FAR WE WERE BELOW STREET LEVEL 4HE BUILDERS HAVE DUG DOWN AND SORT OF SLICED INTO THE WALL SO THAT BECAUSE OF THE SLOPED ROAD NEXT TO IT THERE IS NO SENSATION THAT YOU ARE GOING UNDERGROUND AS YOU PROGRESS THROUGH THE CINEMA BUILDING $USTY NOISY AND FULL OF BUILD ERS AND WITH ELECTRICAL WIRES WAIT ING TO BE CONNECTED THE CINEMA IS STILL A BUILDING SITE "UT WITH THE STRUCTURAL WORK NOW COMPLETE IT
)N FACT IN WHEN IT OPENED #IN EMA #ITY MADE .ORWICH THE lRST %NGLISH CITY TO HAVE AN INDEPENDENT ARTS CINEMA
! PROJECTION OF WHAT #INEMA #ITY WILL LOOK LIKE AFTER THE RENOVATION
IS EASY TO IMAGINE HOW LOVELY IT IS GOING TO LOOK WITH THE SUPERlCIAL ELEMENTS ADDED TO IT (AVING WALKED PAST THE BUILDER S ENTRANCE PRETTY MUCH EVERY DAY ) COULDN T BELIEVE HOW BLIND ) MUST HAVE BEEN NOT TO HAVE NOTICED THE BUSY ACTIVITY INSIDE $UE TO THE AGE OF THE BUILD ING AND ITS LISTED STATUS THE CINEMA AND ARCHITECTURAL TEAM HAVE WORKED CLOSELY WITH %NGLISH (ERITAGE TO PRE SERVE FEATURES OF HISTORICAL VALUE AND INTEREST &ROM THE COMPUTER GENER ATED PICTURES OF THE COMPLETED VI SION AND FROM WALKING AROUND THE BUILDING SITE YOU CAN SEE HOW THE CHALLENGE OF HAVING TO WORK WITH AN HISTORICALLY VALUABLE BUILDING HAVE MADE FOR INNOVATIVE DESIGN 4HE BEAUTY OF THE OLD IS HIGHLIGHTED BY THE ELEGANCE OF THE MODERN 0AST USERS OF THE BUILDING WILL HAVE AN EXCITINGLY DISLOCATED EXPERIENCE RE ENTERING FOR THE lRST TIME $UE TO THE LOWERING OF THE mOOR LEVEL THERE WILL BE A KIND OF TOPSY TURVY AFFECT AS PREVIOUS DESIGN FEATURES REMAIN IN TACT BUT AT ANOTHER LEVEL )NTEREST ING ROOMS PREVIOUSLY CLOSED TO THE PUBLIC WILL ALSO BE OPENED FOR THE lRST TIME "UT #INEMA #ITY WILL NOT JUST BE AESTHETICALLY ATTRACTIVE )N ADDI TION TO ITS EXPANSION IT WILL ALSO BE PROVIDING NEW FACILITIES AND SOCIAL SPACES TO THE PUBLIC &OR EXAMPLE THE CINEMA WILL BE THE lRST IN %NG LAND TO BECOME DIGITAL 7ITH A CAFÏ BAR AT THE CINEMA AND AN OUTSIDE COURTYARD AREA UNDERCOVER A NEW SOCIAL SPACE WILL CERTAINLY BE CREAT ED "UT IN ADDITION IT WILL BECOME A PART OF THE NEW DEVELOPMENT ACROSS 3T !NDREWS 0LAIN WHERE PART OF IT IS SOON TO BECOME PEDESTRIAN ISED 3T !NDREW S (ALL WILL POSSIBLY BE RENOVATED AND TRAFlC CALMING DEVICES PUT IN 4HE VISION IS TO AL LOW THESE PUBLIC ARTSY A DREADFUL WORD ) M SORRY BUILDINGS n FROM
#INEMA #ITY WILL NOT BE AESTHETICALLY AT TRACTIVE ALONE )N AD DITION TO ITS EXPAN SION IT WILL ALSO BE PROVIDING NEW FACILI TIES AND SOCIAL SPACES TO THE PUBLIC
THE 0LAYHOUSE TO THE !RTS 3CHOOL UP TO #INEMA #ITY n TO BE UNITED BY MAKING THE OUTDOOR SPACES THAT CONNECT THEM SPACES IN THEIR OWN RIGHT 4HIS INITIATIVE IS SURPRISINGLY AN %5 3PACIAL -ETRO 0ROJECT BEING LED BY .ORWICH #ITY #OUNCIL 3O IF IT S NOT ALREADY 3T !N DREW S 0LAIN IS DElNITELY GOING TO BE THE PLACE TO BE IN THE FORTHCOM ING YEAR &OR EXISTING STUDENTS WHO CAN lND THEIR WAY THERE IT WILL BE A FANTASTIC FACILITY &OR THOSE NO LONGER IN .ORWICH IN 3EPTEMBER YOU CAN WALK PAST THE BUILDING WITH THE SAME EXCITEMENT AND ENVY THAT ) HAD WHEN ) lNALLY FOUND OUT WHAT WAS GOING ON INSIDE
4HE 0LAYHOUSE CONTINUES TO SHOW #INEMA #ITY lLMS UNTIL THE END OF !UGUST #INEMA #ITY "OX /FlCE &OR LISTINGS VISIT WWW CINEMACITY CO UK ! mOOR PLAN OF THE NEW #INEMA #ITY
7EDNESDAY TH -ARCH #/.#2%4%
-EET #ARLOS 'AMERRO #ARLOS 'AMERRO IS ONE OF THE MOST RENOWNED AND CELEBRATED WRITERS OF THE !RGENTINE LITERARY SCENE (E HAS WRITTEN SEVERAL NOVELS AND TRANSLATED MANY WORKS OF THE LITERARY CANON !MANDA ,IM MET HIM TO l ND OUT MORE ABOUT HIS LIFE HIS LOVES AND HIS LANGUAGE
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%! HAS HAD THE HONOUR OF MEETING THE RENOWNED !RGENTINEAN AUTHOR #ARLOS !LBERTO 'AMERRO (IS ACCOM PLISHMENTS IN THE LITERARY SCENE ARE VAST AND HIS LITERARY PIECES INNOVATIVE AND THRILLING IN NATURE "ORN IN THE MIDST OF A DICTATOR SHIP 'AMERRO S WORK IS WITHOUT A DOUBT PART OF THE NEW EXTRAOR DINARY COLLECTION OF !RGENTINEAN LITERATURE 'AMERRO WAS TALENTED EVEN AS A CHILD AND ACCEPTED AT A PRESTIG IOUS SCHOOL ON A SCHOLARSHIP BA SIS (AVING HAD PRIVILEGED SCHOOL ING 'AMERRO GOT TO EXPLORE THE MASTERS OF "RITISH LITERATURE UNLIKE MANY OF HIS PEERS #OMING FROM A MIDDLE CLASS BACKGROUND HE EXPLAINED THAT LIFE AT SCHOOL WAS STRANGE AT TIMES BECAUSE HE DIDN T REALLY l T IN !S A YOUNG BOY THERE WERE TWO PASSIONS HE HELD CLOSE TO HIM ANIMALS AND READING 5NFAMILIAR TO SOME 'AMERRO ACTUALLY BEGAN HIS STUDIES TO BECOME A VETERINARIAN AT THE 5NIVERSITY OF "UENOS !IRES (OWEVER HE SOON REALISED THAT HIS TRUE DREAM WAS TO BE A WRITER )T WAS NOT UNTIL HE WAS YEARS OLD THAT HE FULl LLED THIS DREAM OF HAVING A PIECE OF WORK PUBLISHED )N 'AMERRO PUBLISHED HIS l RST NOVEL ,AS )SLAS WHICH HAS BEEN ACCLAIMED BY CRIT ICS ALL OVER THE WORLD 4HIS BOOK REMAINS 'AMERRO S PERSONAL FAVOURITE "ROUGHT UP BY BILINGUAL PARENTS 'AMERRO ALWAYS HAD A SUPERIOR ABILITY IN TRANSLATION 4HIS GREATER UNDERSTANDING OF BOTH 3PANISH AND %NGLISH LED HIM TO WORK ON VARIOUS LITERARY PIECES OF A HIGH CALIBER 3UCH WORKS INCLUDE THE TRANSLATIONS OF 7ILLIAM 3HAKESPEARE 'RAHAM 'REENE AND 7 ( !UDEN !MANDA 7HO ARE YOUR INSPIRA TIONS #ARLOS 'AMERRO ) DON T KNOW 4HERE S SO MANY MAINLY ) SUP POSE WRITERS IN THE TWO LANGUAGES ) SPEAK IN THE %NGLISH LANGUAGE AND IN 3PANISH $El NITELY IN STARTING WITH 3PANISH YOU MEN TIONED BIG NAMES ) USUALLY GO FOR BIG GUYS ) VE GOT A WEAK SPOT FOR THEM AND ) M ABSOLUTELY FAS CINATED BY THEM ) WOULDN T SAY ) WAS INm UENCED BY IT BECAUSE IT S A BIT PRESUMPTUOUS ) VE ALWAYS BEEN INSPIRED BY #ERVANTES AND $ON 1UIXOTE WHICH ) VE READ MANY TIMES AND TAUGHT ) THINK ABOUT IT WHEN ) M WRITING WE RE VERY MUCH ALIKE FOR ME "ORGES
-USIC IS A STRONG INm UENCE PAR TICULARLY IN TERMS OF PERCEPTION OF RHYTHM IN WRIT ING EVEN IF MU SIC AND WRITING ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS
AS WELL ) OFTEN TRY AND STEER CLEAR OF HIS INm UENCE )T S A BIT CRUSHING FOR A WRITER (E S SUCH A POWERFUL INm U ENCE ) DON T KNOW IF HE S AN EMPOW ERING INm UENCE BECAUSE IF YOU COM PARE WITH "ORGES HE S A BIT TOO MUCH !LL WE WRITERS HAVE TO l ND WAYS OF AVOIDING "ORGES ZONE OF INm UENCE BECAUSE IT S VERY POWERFUL AND YOU CAN T FOLLOW IN HIS TRACKS HE HAS SORT OF DONE IT ALL "UT ) MEAN "ORGES HAS NEVER EXPLORED THE AREA OF THE EMOTIONAL SIDE OF PASSION CERTAINLY NOT ABOUT SEXUALITY LIKE IN MY l RST STORY 3OMETIMES FOR A JOKE ) SAY MY METHOD OF WRITING AN ESSAY IS TO l RST WRITE AND THEN ) ERASE ALL THE QUOTA TIONS OF "ORGES SYSTEMATICALLY BUT HE IS A VERY STRONG PRESENCE ! WRITER THAT HELPED ME A LOT WITH MY l RST NOVEL WAS 53 WRITER 7ILLIAM "UR ROUGHS (E S VERY DIFFERENT NOT AT ALL CONVENTIONAL AND SOMEONE ) ADMIRE A LOT +AFKA ) LIKE VERY MUCH BUT THE +AFKA LINE BELONGS TO "ORGES IF YOU TRY TO FOLLOW HIM YOU END UP WITH A BAD COPY OF "ORGES ) PARTICULARLY ADMIRE THE WAY +AFKA CONSTRUCTS SETTINGS HIS TASTE THE BUILDINGS THE HOUSES THAT EVERY TIME ) HAVE TO DE SCRIBE A PLACE ) READ +AFKA TO SEE HOW HE DOES IT BUT ) NEVER l ND OUT ,IKE HIM MY NOVELS ARE ARCHITECTURAL AND IT S QUITE A PROBLEM BUT AT LEAST ) TRY HARD ) WORRY A LOT WITH THE NOVEL ) M WRITING NOW SOMETIMES ) WAS STUCK FOR THREE MONTHS BECAUSE ) COULDN T BUILD THE HOUSE WHERE THE SCENES WOULD HAPPEN SO IN THAT SENSE ) CAN T THINK OF ANYBODY AS GOOD AS +AFKA AT BUILDING WITH WORDS "ECAUSE BUILDING WITH WORDS AND BUILDING WITH REALITY OR VISUALLY IS SO DIFFERENT !MANDA ) KNOW THAT YOU EMPLOY A UNIQUE METHOD OF WRITING 7HERE DO THESE IDEAS COME FROM !M ) RIGHT IN SAYING THAT MUSIC HAS INm U ENCED YOU GREATLY #ARLOS 'AMERRO #ARLOS 'AMERRO -USIC IS A STRONG INm UENCE PARTICULARLY IN TERMS OF PERCEPTION OF RHYTHM IN WRIT ING EVEN IF MUSIC AND WRITING ARE
TWO DIFFERENT THINGS ) DON T HAVE A MUSICAL EAR ) COULD NEVER UNDER STAND HOW IT WORKS ) WOULD SAY IN TERMS OF ANOTHER ART FORM THAT HAS STRONGLY INm UENCED ME IS l LM THEY CONSTANTLY SAY THAT MY WRITING IS CINEMATOGRAPHICAL ) M NOT TOO SURE WHAT IS MEANT EXACTLY BY THAT BUT ) ALSO WRITE FOR CINEMA )N A WAY MY WRITING TENDS TO BE VISUAL AND ) TEND TO THINK OF THE SCENES AND THE DIALOGUE AND THE MOVEMENT OF THE CHARACTERS VERY MUCH AS IF ) WAS WRIT ING FOR THE SCREEN .ORMA AND %STER IS ACTUALLY BEING PRODUCED AS A PLAY ) M MORE DRAMATIC THAN NARRATIVE ) FEEL BETTER WHEN WRITING SCENES THAN THE NARRATIVE AT l RST THE NARRATIVE IN WHICH YOU HAVE SUMMARY OF THE ACTION WITHOUT NECESSARILY HAVING THE CHARACTERS ACT AND SPEAK THERE BEFORE YOU IN THE BOOK !MANDA (OW DO YOU RELATE TO THE !RGENTINEAN OR "RITISH STYLE AND APPROACH TO WRITING #ARLOS 'AMERRO )N TERMS OF MAYBE THE QUESTION THE ATTITUDE TOWARDS REALITY OR THE REALISM IN THE DEPIC TION OF LIFE AND THE ATTITUDE TOWARDS LANGUAGE ) FEEL A GREATER AFl NITY BE TWEEN !RGENTINE LITERATURE AND SOME WRITERS FROM THE 53! PARTICULARLY AS ) MENTIONED "URROUGHS IS A PERSONAL INm UENCE )F ) SPEAK ABOUT LITERATURE IN GENERAL ) SHOULD DEl NITELY MEN TION &AULKNER WHO MIGHT HAVE BEEN THE GREATEST WRITER IN THE %NGLISH LANGUAGE WHICH HAS MOST POWERFULLY INm UENCED ,ATIN !MERICAN LITERATURE )N !RGENTINA HE WAS NOT AS GREAT AS *OYCE ) VE WRITTEN AN ESSAY ABOUT *OYCE HE HAD A VERY POWERFUL EFFECT ON !RGENTINE LITERATURE 4HE WRITERS ) FEEL CLOSE TO IN THE %NGLISH LANGUAGE TODAY ARE 2USHDIE +UREISHI AND #OETZEE )F YOU ARE TRYING TO l ND A PATTERN THEY ARE ALL WRITERS FROM THE MARGINS FROM THE TERRITORY WHO DO NOT BELONG TO A CLASSICAL REALIS TIC TRADITION %VEN &AULKNER IS AN ANOMALY IN THE 53 4HE SOUTH IS A VERY DIFFERENT WORLD TO THE REST OF THE 53 MAYBE CLOSER TO THE #ARIBBEAN
CULTURE 4HERE YOU l ND THAT &AULKNER HAD A GREAT INm UENCE ON 'ARCIA -AR QUEZ SOMEONE WHO CLEARLY HAD A MATHEMATICAL INm UENCE ON 2USHDIE 0ERHAPS IT HAS TO DO WITH SOCIETIES WHICH ARE DIFFERENT PERHAPS WITH THE ROLE OF LITERATURE WHICH ) SUPPOSE IN 3OUTH !FRICA OR !RGENTINA THERE IS A FEELING THAT SO MUCH HAS TO BE DONE WITH LITERATURE BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE HELPS $El NITELY SOMETHING WE ALL SHARE )RISH LITERATURE ALSO THAT S LITERATURE THAT S HAD THAT SORT OF EFFECT ON ME PARTICULARLY BEFORE INDEPEND ENCE 9ATES *OYCE "ECKETT TO A POINT ALSO BUT ) THINK IT S A LOT OF CONNECT ED WORK ) MEAN THE PUBLIC AND THE PRIVATE THE PERSONAL AND THE POLITICAL ARE STILL CONNECTED AND IN THAT SENSE THE LITERATURE EVEN IF YOU TELL THE STORIES OF INDIVIDUAL LIVES THEY ARE VERY PROMINENTLY RELATED TO WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE COUNTRY AS A WHOLE 7HEN ) WRITE l CTION ) WRITE IT TO EXPLORE TOPICS TO l ND MY OPINION OR MY POSITION IT S A WAY OF EXPLORING AN ISSUE ON WHICH ) HAVE NO CLARITY ABOUT LIKE TALKING ABOUT THE STORIES WE VE BEEN DISCUSSING THE QUESTIONS RESPECTFUL OF THE ISSUES OF GENDER THE OTHER MACHISMO AND SO RELATED TO SEXUALITY THEY CLEARLY DON T HAVE A SERIES OF IDEAS WHICH ) COULD STAND BY AND PROMOTE AS MY OWN ) WRITE TO EXPLORE THINGS THAT DO NOT l T INTO THE WAY WE WOULD LIKE THINGS TO BE )F YOU WERE WORRIED ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THOUGHT YOU WOULDN T BECOME A WRITER ) WRITE TO EXPLORE QUESTIONS WHICH ARE NOT ONLY CONTROVERSIAL IN GENERAL BUT WHICH ARE CONTROVERSIAL FOR ME ) M TRYING TO SOLVE A PROBLEM OR AT LEAST TO ASK A QUESTION !ND PO LITICALLY MORE OR LESS THE SAME THING AS A TOPIC MANY !RGENTINEAN WRITERS TACKLE AND WE ARE EXPECTED TO TACKLE THAT OF THE MILITARY DICTATORSHIP THAT DISAPPEARED BUT THE ROLE OF THE MILI TARY IS PERFECTLY CLEAR )T S ABOMINABLE THEY SHOULD ALL BE PRISONERS FOR LIFE )T S ALL PERFECTLY CLEAR WHY WRITE ABOUT IT 7HAT INTERESTS ME ARE THE ONLOOK ERS AND BYSTANDERS
#/.#2%4% 7EDNESDAY TH -ARCH
&%!452%
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7EDNESDAY TH -ARCH #/.#2%4%
4HE WONDER YEARS
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)F YOU VE EVER WONDERED WHAT YOUR PARENTS GOT UP TO IN THE HAZY S YOU LL ENJOY THIS FEATURE )F NOT AVERT YOUR EYES NOW 5%! IS GETTING ON A BIT SO IT S ABOUT TIME WE SAT DOWN AND LET IT TELL US ABOUT HOW THINGS WERE IN ITS DAY !NNA 3TEWARD LEADS US THROUGH ITS MISSPENT YOUTH REBELLIOUS S AND MID LIFE CRISIS
&
ORE 4HE LAKE WAS ONCE A PLACE FOR HOLES IN ONE RATHER THAN FOR STUDENTS TO WALK ROUND WITH HOLES IN THEIR POCKETS AND RIPPED JEANS )N FACT BEFORE THE S THE LAKE WAS GRASS AND GRAVEL )T IS NOW ONE OF 5%! S MOST NATURAL MAN MADE BEAUTIES )T S CERTAINLY A LOT BETTER THAN THE OUT DATED :IGGURATS AND THE INHABITANTS ARE QUIETER EXCEPT WHEN YOU THROW THEM BREAD "ACK IN THE HAZY S 5%! WAS %ARLHAM -UNICIPAL 'OLF COURSE LATER BECOMING 5NIVERSITY 0LAIN 4HE 5NIVERSITY WAS ORIGINALLY PITCHED AS THE 5NIVERSITY OF .ORWICH UNTIL THE POWERS THAT BE CAME UP WITH A CUNNING PLAN 4HEY CALLED IT THE 5NIVERSITY OF %AST !NGLIA SO THEY COULD GET MORE MONEY #LEVER SO AND SOS 7E ARE VERY GLAD THEY DID 7ITH THE 5%! S TENDENCY TO ABBREVI ATE ANYTHING LONGER THAN ONE WORD WE WOULD BE CALLED THE 5. INSTEAD /H BUT THE 5. IS WONDERFUL AS WELL 3OME WOULD SAY EVEN BETTER 3LANDER OUS FOOLS 3O AFTER COMING UP WITH AN UBER CATCHY NAME WE NEEDED A MOTTO (OW ABOUT SOMETHING PROFOUND @"E STILL AND KNOW .O TAKEN @4HOUGHT THE HARDER HEART THE KEENER .O TERRIBLE (OW ABOUT @DO DIFFERENT 9ES PERFECT )T IS OBSCURE ENOUGH TO BE INTERPRETED IN SO MANY WAYS THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE 7AVENEY )T ALSO ENCOURAGES PEOPLE LITERALLY TO @DO DIFFERENT PEOPLE INSTEAD OF
7ITH 5%! S TEN DENCY TO ABBRE VIATE ANYTHING LONGER THAN ONE WORD WE WOULD BE CALLED THE 5. IN STEAD /H BUT THE 5. IS WONDERFUL AS WELL KEEPING IT IN THE FAMILY WHICH IS WHAT SOME PEOPLE WOULD SAY IS THE .ORFOLK WAY 4HE lNAL PART OF THE EQUATION APART FROM BUILDING AN ENTIRE UNI VERSITY WAS THE CREST OF ARMS /UR EMBLEM IS IN FACT MADE UP AS MANY ARE TO MAKE THINGS APPEAR TO HAVE A HERITAGE WHEN IN FACT THEY HAVE NONE 3O lNALLY WITH ALL THESE ELEMENTS IN PLACE THE 5NIVERSITY OPENED ITS DOORS TO ITS STUDENTS IN 5%! ADMITTED ITS lRST STUDENTS IN %NGLISH STUDIES AND BIOLOGICAL SCI ENCE 4HE 5NIVERSITY WAS THE lRST IN THE WORLD TO OFFER A CREATIVE WRITING -ASTERS )T WAS ALSO THE lRST TO OFFER AN UNDERGRADUATE DEGREE IN DEVELOP MENT STUDIES IN "RITAIN 4HE IDEA OF A SEPARATE INTERDISCIPLINARY 3CHOOL
OF $EVELOPMENT 3TUDIES AT 5%! WAS PRIMARILY THE VISION OF 0ROFESSOR !THOL -ACKINTOSH )N THE EARLY DAYS THE SCHOOL WAS LOCATED IN PREFABS ON THE 5NIVERSITY 6ILLAGE SITE ACROSS THE ROAD FROM THE MAIN CAMPUS 4HIS SEPARATION FROM THE REST OF THE 5NI VERSITY HELPED CREATE A STRONG SENSE OF $%6 IDENTITY LUBRICATED BY ITS OWN BAR 4HERE WAS ALSO NEARLY A COURSE IN #ONCRETE STUDIES 7HEN THE 5NIVERSITY WAS lRST OPEN THE STUDENTS LIVED IN YE OLDE STYLE 6ILLAGE 5%! ALSO TOOK OVER THE FORMER 2!& 53 !IR &ORCE BARRACKS AT (ORSHAM 3T &AITH AIRlELD AND USED THEM AS RESIDENCES 4HIS OUTPOST OF CAMPUS LIFE WAS FORMALLY KNOWN AS @&IFERS ,ANE AFTER THE ROAD IT STOOD ON BUT WAS CALLED @(ORSHAM OR SIM PLY @&IFERS BY RESIDENTS )T DEVELOPED ITS OWN UNIQUE STYLE OF STUDENT LIFE "EING ADJACENT TO EXTANT ARMY ACCOM MODATION THE ON SITE GENERAL SHOP WAS A BRANCH OF THE .!!&) &IFERS WAS ALSO REPUTEDLY HOME TO ITS VERY OWN GHOST THE hHEADLESS AIRMANv &IFERS ,ANE EVENTUALLY CLOSED IN WHEN FURTHER RESIDENCES WERE BUILT ON CAMPUS )T WAS 3IR $ENYS ,ASDUN WHO DESIGNED THE 5NIVERSITY S CORE BUILD INGS INCLUDING THE MONUMENTAL 4EACHING 7ALL THE RAISED WALKWAYS CENTRAL 3QUARE AND MOST FAMOUSLY THE STRIKING ZIGGURATS OF .ORFOLK AND 3UFFOLK 4ERRACE (IS PLAN WAS THAT NO BUILDING ON CAMPUS SHOULD BE MORE THAN lVE MINUTES WALK AWAY FROM ANY OTHER 7HO SAID STUDENTS
ARE LAZY 7AVENEY WAS BUILT WHEN THEY RAN OUT OF MONEY WHILE CONSTRUCTING .ORFOLK AND 3UFFOLK )T IS RUMOURED TO BE BASED ON A 3WEDISH 0RISON 4HIS HOWEVER IS A LIE (AVING SAID THAT THE ROOMS DID HAVE A DISTINCT @PRISON LOOK 4HE 3AINSBURY #ENTRE WAS DESIGNED BY ,ORD .ORMAN &OSTER IN AND IT HAS RECENTLY UNDERGONE A COMPLETE RENOVATION 4HE 3OVIET MILITARY ALLEGEDLY ASSESSED THE BUILDING TO BE A NUCLEAR MISSILE SILO )T SHOULD ALSO BE NOTED THAT THE 3AINSBURY CENTRE HAS THE BEST TOILETS ON CAM PUS BY FAR -ORE RECENT DEVELOPMENTS HAVE INCLUDED THE MILLION REFURBISH MENT OF THE (IVE :EST AND THE
@$O DIFFERENT )T IS OBSCURE ENOUGH TO BE INTERPRETED IN SO MANY WAYS THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE 7AVENEY
"LEND GETTING A FULL MAKE OVER THE LIBRARY NOW FULLY EXTENDED AND FUNC TIONING AND NEW ACCOMMODATION GALORE !S WE DON T HAVE MANY ROADS OR STREETS WE NAME OUR BUILDINGS AFTER .ORFOLK S lNEST 4HE %LIZABETH &RY WE SEE ON OUR lVE POUND NOTES IS THE VERY SAME DO GOODER THAT OUR %LIZABETH &RY "UILDING IS NAMED AFTER 0ERHAPS ONE DAY SOME OF THE NEW ACCOMMODATION WILL BE NAMED AFTER SOME OF THE ALUMNI &ORMER STUDENTS INCLUDE THE "OOKER 0RIZE WINNING AU THORS )AN -C%WAN AND +AZUO )SHIG URO COMEDY WRITERS AND PERFORMERS #HARLIE (IGSON !RTHUR 3MITH AND 0AUL 7HITEHOUSE EXPLORER "ENEDICT !LLEN METEOROLOGIST 0ENNY 4RANTER ACTORS *ACK $AVENPORT ""# 2ADIO S *ENNY !BRAMSKY AND ANOTHER ALUMNI WORKING FOR .ORWICH 5NION 3O ITS SWINGS FOR SOME THE .ORWICH ONE WAY SYSTEM FOR THE REST "ACK IN ITS YOUNGER YEARS 5%! WAS A LITTLE REBEL )T WAS WELL RE NOWNED AS A LEFT WING CAMPAIGNING 5NIVERSITY 4HE 6IETNAM WAR CAUSED THE lRST 5%! PROTESTS IN AS STUDENTS CAMPAIGNED FOR THE BANNING OF WAR TOYS AND MARCHED OUTSIDE LOCAL AIR FORCE BASES 4HE 5NIVERSITIES REPUTATION WAS @SOILED WHEN SOME CAMPAIGNS COINCIDED WITH TWO ROYAL VISITS )N FACT 5%! S PROTESTS WERE CONFUSED WITH RIOTS AT %SSEX 5NI VERSITY -ORE RECENTLY CAMPAIGNING AGAINST THE )RAK WAR ALSO TOOK PLACE WITH A MARCH FROM #AMPUS TO THE #OUNCIL (OUSE IN .ORWICH 4OP UP
.ORFOLK 3UFFOLK ARE LISTED BUILDINGS
)N FACT WE WERE RANKED JOINT lRST FOR STUDENT SATIS FACTION 4HIS HAS BEEN SAID TO RE mECT THE THINKING OF MANY STUDENTS JOINT lRST THEN GET SATISlED FEES HAVE ALSO BEEN A CONTENTIOUS ISSUE THAT PRODUCED THE "IG NOISE DEMONSTRATION IN /VER THE LAST YEAR 5%! HAS HAD A lRM BACK PAT AS A RESULT OF A SERIES OF SURVEYS ! REPORT IN THE )NDEPENDENT PLACED .ORWICH AS ONE OF THE TOP hCOOLESTv PLACES FOR STUDENTS IN THE 5+ #OOL 5%! WAS ALSO RANKED ONE OF THE TOP UNIVERSITIES IN THE WORLD IN THE ANNUAL SURVEY CONDUCT ED BY 3HANGHAI *IAO 4ONG 5NIVERSITY 'REAT 7E HAVE ALSO GOT TOP MARKS IN THE @!RE YOU SATISlED .ATIONAL STUDENT SURVEY )N FACT WE WERE RANKED JOINT lRST FOR STUDENT SATISFAC TION 4HIS HAS BEEN SAID TO REmECT THE THINKING OF MANY STUDENTS JOINT lRST THEN GET SATISlED 7E DO LIKE TO GET
! GERBIL WAS ONCE ELECTED AS A 5NION %XEC OFlCER
4HE %LIZABETH &RY ON lVE POUND NOTES IS THE VERY SAME DO GOODER THAT OUR %LIZABETH &RY "UILDING IS NAMED AFTER
4HE /RIGINAL 6ILLAGE ,EGEND HAS IT THAT THERE ARE STILL DIGGERS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE LAKE
3UNBATHING ON 3UFFOLK 4ERRACE
'RANTS 0ROTEST S
2ETRO +ITCHEN
:EST AFTER REFURBISHMENT
4HE #AMPUS "AR 7AVENEY 4ERRACE WAS NAMED AFTER A NORFOLK RIVER /THER OPTIONS WERE @4UD OR @.AR
1UEEN S 6ISIT 0ANCAKE RACE
0HOTOGRAPHS COPYRIGHT OF 5%!
#/.#2%4% 7EDNESDAY TH -ARCH
452&
%ARTH FROM THE !IR 4HE &ORUM PLAYS HOST TO BREATH TAKING PHOTOGRAPHY
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ROWING POPULA TION SHRINKING B I O D I V E R S I T Y POLLUTED LANDS AND OCEANS A CHANGING CLIMATE AND A SHORT AGE OF DRINKING WATER 0UT IT LIKE THIS AND OUR HOME THAT IS TO SAY OUR PLANET DOESN T SOUND TOO INSPIRATIONAL 9ANN !RTHUS "ERTRAND HOWEVER BE LIEVES SOMETHING QUITE THE CONTRARY 5NTIL THE END OF !PRIL "ERTRAND S EXHIBITION @%ARTH FROM THE !IR WILL BE ON SHOW THROUGHOUT THE CITY IN THE FORM OF LARGE SCALE mOOD LIT PHOTOGRAPHS 4O VIEW THEY RE COMPLETELY FREE AND HAVING BEEN DESCRIBED AS hTHE MOST AMAZING PICTURES YOU LL EVER SEE v 7HAT IS THERE TO STOP YOU !CCOMPANIED BY A GIANT WORLD MAP AND A DOCU MENTARY NARRATED BY THE PHO TOGRAPHER YOU D HAVE TO HAVE A PRETTY GOOD EXCUSE TO MISS IT .OT THAT YOU LL BE ABLE TO ANY WAY AS THESE PHOTOS ARE QUITE HUGE AND LIT UP JUST MAKE SURE YOU APPRECIATE THE POINT BE HIND THE WHOLE THING )T ISN T JUST THE STUNNING
PHOTOGRAPHY ON SHOW THOUGH 4HE &ORUM HAS SEEN THIS EXHIBI TION AS AN IMPORTANT CHANCE TO INCREASE ITS VISITORS AWARENESS OF THE UPHILL STRUGGLE AGAINST ENVIRONMENTAL DETERIORATION AND IS HOSTING AN EIGHT WEEK @%ARTH %VENT !LSO FREE LOCAL REGIONAL AND NATIONAL ORGANI SATIONS WILL BE ATTEMPTING TO ENGAGE .ORWICH IN THE CURRENT CRISIS &ROM A CARBON FOOTPRINT SURGERY TO A HOUSE MADE OUT OF BOTTLES YES ENTIRELY OUT OF BOTTLES THE &ORUM HAS GOT IT COVERED !ND IF YOU DO GET A BIT LOST IN ALL THE HAPPENINGS THE @%ARTH FROM THE !IR INFORMA TION POINT WILL BE OPEN DAILY THROUGHOUT THE EIGHT WEEKS 3O NO LONG LECTURES ABOUT CLIMATE CHANGE 9ANN !RTHUS "ERTRAND HAS PROBABLY FOUND THE BEST WAY TO GET PEOPLE TO TAKE ACTION "Y CELEBRAT ING WHAT WE DO HAVE AND IT IS QUITE AMAZING A REAL DESIRE TO MAINTAIN IT CAN BE GENERATED 7ITH THE REMARK h/UR %ARTH IS ART THE PHOTOGRAPHER IS ONLY THE WITNESSv THE ARTIST REVIEWS IT PERFECTLY #ONTRASTING FROM VAST GEOGRAPHICAL FORMATIONS
TO INTIMATE GLIMPSES OF SMALL SCALE FEATURES 9ANN S IMAGES MARK OUR REMARKABLE LAND SCAPE BUT WITH AN AIM TO SHOW HOW HUMAN ACTIVITY HAS LEFT AN IMPRINT !S A RECORD OF TODAY S ENVIRONMENT HIS COLLECTION OF PHOTOS ACT AS A BENCHMARK FOR THE FUTURE AND AT THE SAME TIME ARE ABLE TO PROVOKE ACTION NOW /NLINE OR IN PERSON YOU CAN SIGN A PLEDGE TO MAKE THAT SMALL BUT INCREASINGLY CRUCIAL BIT OF DIFFERENCE 4HEY RE NOT ASKING EVERYONE TO BECOME EN TIRELY POWERED BY WIND OR ANY THING EQUALLY AS IDEALISTIC )T IS JUST A REQUEST FOR SIMPLE CON SIDERATE CHANGES TO BE MADE &OR EXAMPLE IN ONE DAY ON ONE STREET IF EVERYONE PROM ISED TO ONLY BOIL THE AMOUNT OF WATER NEEDED TO MAKE A DRINK IT WOULD BE POSSIBLE SAVE ENOUGH ENERGY TO LIGHT EVERY STREET LIGHT IN THE 5+ FOR THE FOLLOWING NIGHT "Y HOPING FOR AT LEAST PLEDGES IN THE EIGHT WEEKS ) DON T THINK THE ORGANISERS ARE ASKING FOR TOO MUCH .ATASHA "ARNES
! CONVENIENT TRUTH FOR 'ORE 4HE #ONmICT OF !L 'ORE THE INVESTMENT MANAGER AND THE GREEN CAMPAIGNER
4
HE 4ENNESSEE #ENTER FOR 0OLICY 2ESEARCH HAS ACCUSED !L 'ORE OF ENERGY HYPOC RISY "ASED ON PUB LIC RECORD UTILITY BILLS FROM THE 'ORE S .ASHVILLE MANSION IT WAS DISCOVERED THAT THE FAMILY CON SUMES MORE THAN TIMES MORE ENERGY THAN THE AVERAGE !MERI CAN HOUSEHOLD )N ONE MONTH THE 'ORE S USED TWICE THE ELEC TRICITY THAN THE AVERAGE !MERICAN FAMILY USES IN ONE YEAR &URTHER MORE THEIR MONTHLY UTILITY BILLS ARE IN EXCESS OF 4HE ACCUSA TIONS WERE NOT DENIED BY SPOKES PEOPLE FOR 'ORE BUT NUMEROUS EXCUSES AND EXPLANATIONS WERE GIVEN $REW *OHNSON THE 0RESIDENT OF THE 4ENNESSEE #ENTER FOR 0OL ICY 2ESEARCH SAYS THAT 'ORE hHAS TO BE WILLING TO WALK THE WALK NOT JUST TALK THE TALKv (OWEVER REPRESENTATIVES FOR 'ORE ARGUE THAT HE IS PUTTING FORTH EFFORTS TO REDUCE HIS CARBON EMISSIONS IN THE SAME WAYS THAT HE HAS CALLED ON ALL !MERICAN FAMILIES TO DO IN
THEIR HOMES )N 'ORE S DOCUMENTARY h!N )NCONVENIENT 4RUTHv HE ENCOURAG ES FAMILIES TO CALCULATE THEIR @CAR BON FOOTPRINT AND OFFSET THEIR HARMFUL BEHAVIOUR WITH MORE ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY ACTS )N A SENSE BY ACTING ENVIRONMEN TALLY RESPONSIBLE IN CERTAIN AREAS THEY ARE OFFSETTING THEIR HARMFUL EFFECTS ELSEWHERE AND BECOM ING @CARBON NEUTRAL )RONICALLY 'ORE S CALCULATION OF CARBON DI OXIDE EMISSIONS INCLUDES QUES TIONS SUCH AS MONTHLY UTILITY BILLS AND THE NUMBER OF FLIGHTS TAKEN IN A YEAR BOTH MUCH HIGH ER THAN AVERAGE FOR THE FORMER VICE PRESIDENT 'ORE SEEKS TO CREATE HIS OWN NEUTRAL CARBON FOOTPRINT BY BUY ING HIS @CARBON OFFSETS 3UCH @OFF SETS INCLUDE INSTALLING SOLAR PAN ELS AND USING LOW ENERGY LIGHT BULBS (E ENCOURAGES OTHERS TO BUY THESE THROUGH 'ENERATION )NVESTMENT -ANAGEMENT A COM PANY THAT INVESTS IN SOLAR WIND AND OTHER PROJECTS THAT HELP RE DUCE ENERGY CONSUMPTION
4HE MOST INTERESTING PART OF THE WHOLE STORY IS THAT !L 'ORE IS IN FACT CO FOUNDER AND CHAIRMAN OF 'ENERATION )NVESTMENT -AN AGEMENT 4HEREFORE HE CASHES IN ON THE COMPANY S SUCCESSFUL INVESTMENTS %SSENTIALLY WHEN HE @BUYS HIS @CARBON OFFSETS HE IS BUYING STOCK AN IMPRESSIVE AND NOT SURPRISING SIDE EFFECT OF 'ORE S CLIMATE CHANGE CAM PAIGN )T WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME UNTIL SUCH ACCUSATIONS WERE MADE 4HE RELEASE OF SUCH INFOR MATION CAME AT AN @CONVENIENT TIME RIGHT AFTER 'ORE RECEIVED AN /SCAR FOR HIS DOCUMENTARY 3OME ARGUE THAT THESE ACCUSATIONS ARE A DESPERATE WAY TO DISTRACT AND CONFUSE THE PUBLIC THEY ARE MERELY A DIVERSION FROM THE REAL ISSUES OF GLOBAL WARMING 4HE DEBATE WILL UNDOUBTEDLY CONTINUE IS !L 'ORE A HYPOCRITE OR SIMPLY A SMART BUSINESS MAN WITH THE BEST OF INTENTIONS AT HEART 3TACIE $LEY
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7EDNESDAY TH -ARCH #/.#2%4%
%CO WEB WWW GREENFACTS ORG
%COLOGICAL DESIGN 2OSIE "RADLEY "UNN LOOKS AT GREENING UP OUR ROOFS
7
E RE CONSTANTLY BE ING TOLD THAT WE NEED TO MAKE OUR HOMES GREENER TO HELP IN THE lGHT AGAINST CLIMATE CHANGE 7HO KNEW WE CAN LITERALLY MAKE OUR BUILDINGS OR AT LEAST THEIR ROOFS GREENER THOUGH 4HERE IS A GROWING MARKET IN THE 5+ FOR GREEN ROOFS THANKS MAINLY TO THE SNOWBALLING OF THE ENVIRONMENTAL MOVEMENT IN RECENT YEARS FOR GREEN ROOFS ARE GREEN NOT JUST IN COLOUR BUT METAPHOR ICALLY TOO &URTHERMORE AS WELL AS OFFERING A NUMBER OF ENVIRONMENTAL BENElTS THEY ALSO PROVIDE AN AESTHETIC AND ECONOMICAL ALTERNATIVE TO YOUR EVERYDAY GREY ROOF 'REEN ROOFS ARE BASICALLY ROOFS WHERE INSTEAD OF HAVING TILING OR FELT ON THE OUT SIDE LAYER THE ROOF IS COVERED IN SEDUM OR WILD mOWERS INSTEAD 4HE ROOF DECK IS lRST PREPARED WITH A WATERPROOF MEMBRANE AND A ROOT BARRIER BEFORE A DRAINAGE SYS TEM IS INSTALLED 4HIS VARIES FROM ROOF TO ROOF BUT USUALLY CONSISTS OF SOMETHING LIKE SOIL SAND OR CRUSHED STONES THESE CAN OFTEN BE FROM RECYCLED SOURCES 4HIS IS ALL TOPPED OFF WITH A MAT CONSISTING OF EITHER SEDUM OR OTHER SUCCULENTS GRASSES OR MOSS AND IF YOU WISH A SELECTION OF WILD mOWERS 4HE ROOF SHOULD NEED VERY LITTLE IF ANY MAINTENANCE THE AIM IS TO CREATE MORE OF A WILD MEADOW THAN A MANICURED LAWN 4HE ENVIRONMENTAL BENElTS OF GREEN ROOFS ARE NUMEROUS 0ERHAPS THE MOST OB VIOUS IS THEIR ABILITY TO IMPROVE AIR QUALITY THROUGH THE PLANTS REDUCTION OF CARBON DIOXIDE IN THE ATMOSPHERE AND PRODUC TION OF OXYGEN AND THEIR ABSORPTION OF A NUMBER OF AIR POLLUTANTS &URTHERMORE GREEN ROOFS ARE RECOGNISED TO REDUCE THE @HEAT ISLAND EFFECT WHERE BUILDINGS AB SORB HEAT AND CREATE OVER HEATING IN CITIES A MAJOR CONCERN TO ENVIRONMENTALISTS )MPROVED BIO DIVERSITY IS ANOTHER CON TRIBUTION OF A GREEN ROOF TO THE ENVIRON MENT "Y PLANTING A ROOF WITH LOCAL PLANTS AND PROVIDING A HAVEN FOR WILD LIFE A MINI ECO SYSTEM CAN BE SUPPORTED UP THERE )F THE IDEA OF ENCOURAGING INSECTS TO LIVE OFF YOUR HOUSE SEEMS A LITTLE UNSETTLING THINK ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF BEESnWHERE WOULD WE BE WITHOUT THE POLLINATION THEY PROVIDE AND THE BEAUTY OF BUTTERmIES -ANY OWNERS OF GREEN ROOFS EVEN ADD NESTING BOXES AND PIECES OF WOOD TO THEIR
ROOFS IN ORDER TO MORE CLOSELY RECREATE THE NATURAL HABITATS OF A NUMBER OF SPECIES 'REEN ROOFS ARE DESIGNED TO ABSORB HIGH LEVELS OF WATER AND CAN RETAIN UP TO OF THE WATER THAT FALLS ON THEM 4HIS HAS THE PRACTICAL ADVANTAGE THAT THE ROOF WILL ONLY NEED WATERING IN TIMES OF EXTREME DROUGHT AND ALSO HELPS TO REDUCE THE LIKELIHOOD OF LOCAL mOODING ! KEY FACTOR IN THE HIGH NUMBER OF INSTANCES OF mASH mOODING THAT HAVE OCCURRED IN RECENT YEARS IS THOUGHT TO BE THE CONVER SION OF FRONT GARDENS INTO DRIVEWAYS ADD ING MORE GREEN ROOFS TO OUR BUILDINGS AND SHEDS WOULD HELP TO REVERSE THIS EFFECT )N SOME INSTANCES RAINWATER STORED IN THE SE DUM CAN EVEN BE HARVESTED AND USED FOR mUSHING TOILETS ! BUILDING S INSULATION CAN HAVE A MAS SIVE IMPACT ON ITS ENERGY EFlCIENCY 'REEN ROOFS PROVIDE A NATURAL LAYER OF THERMAL INSULATION KEEPING BUILDINGS COOL IN THE SUMMER AND WARM IN THE WINTER 4HIS RE DUCES THE NEED FOR HEATING OR AIR CONDI TIONING INSIDE THE BUILDING MEANING LESS CARBON EMISSIONS AND LOWER ELECTRICITY BILLS &INANCIAL CONSIDERATIONS ARE OBVIOUS LY AN IMPORTANT FACTOR WHEN MAKING DE CISIONS ABOUT ROOlNG 4HE COST OF HAVING A GREEN ROOF INSTALLED IS GENERALLY COMPA RABLE TO USING MORE TRADITIONAL CLADDING METHODS ALTHOUGH VARIES ACCORDING TO THE SIZE OF THE ROOF AND ITS PITCH /THER THAN THROUGH REDUCED HEATING COSTS A GREEN ROOF CAN SAVE ITS OWNER MONEY THROUGH THE ADDED PROTECTION IT PROVIDES TO THE ROOF S WATERPROOlNG MEMBRANE FROM 56 LIGHT FROST AND EROSION 4HIS DOUBLES ITS LIFE EXPECTANCY REDUCING RE WATERPROOlNG COSTS 4HE 5+ S LARGEST GREEN ROOF COVERS THE !DNAMS BREWERY DISTRIBUTION CENTRE IN 3UFFOLK 4HE BREWER IS MAKING THE MOST OF ITS ROOF AND IS HARVESTING RAINWATER FROM IT FOR mUSHING STAFF TOILETS AND WASH ING THE lRM S LORRIES 4HE WHOLE BUILD ING HAS BEEN DESIGNED TO REDUCE CARBON EMISSIONS AND ENERGY COSTS AND !DNAMS ESTIMATES THAT THEIR ENERGY BILLS WILL BE HALVED -ANAGING DIRECTOR !NDY 7OOD BELIEVES THE BUILDING TO BE A SUSTAINABLE INVESTMENT SAYING hAS ENERGY PRICES SOAR THIS ENERGY EFlCIENT BUILDING WILL MAKE SUBSTANTIAL SAVINGSv ! FURTHER ADVANTAGE OF THE CURVED ROOF IS ITS CAMOUmAGE EFFECT
MAKING THE BUILDING LOOK MORE LIKE A 4EL ETUBBY S DWELLING THAN A CORPORATE BUILD ING SOMETHING WHICH HAS GONE DOWN WELL WITH THE LOCALS !DDED TO THE ECOLOGICAL AND lSCAL BENElTS OF GREEN ROOFS ARE THEIR HEALTH BENElTS 2ESEARCH HAS SHOWN THAT REGULAR CONTACT WITH NATURAL GREEN SPACE IS GOOD FOR PEOPLE S HEALTH BOTH MENTAL SUCH AS REDUCTION OF STRESS AND PHYSICAL MAINLY THANKS TO THE PURER AIR )N ADDITION THEY HELP THE BUILDING MAINTAIN A CONSTANT TEMPERATURE n THOUGHT TO BE BENElCIAL TO THE DWELLERS HEALTH AND PROVIDE EXCEL LENT INSULATION AGAINST EXTERNAL NOISE 4HE LEADING WEBSITE IN THIS AREA WWW LIVIN GROOFS ORG SUGGESTS THAT A GREEN ROOF CAN REDUCE SOUND BY D" COMPARED WITH A CONVENTIONAL ROOF ! ROOF PROVIDING THIS LEVEL OF SOUND INSULATION WOULD BE EFFEC TIVE IF USED ON BUILDINGS UNDER AIRCRAFT mIGHT PATHS .OT ALL BUILDINGS ARE SUITABLE FOR GREEN ROOFS $USTY 'EDGE FOUNDER OF LIV INGROOFS ORG EXPLAINS h'REEN ROOFS ARE GREAT ON mAT ROOFED GARAGES EXTENSIONS OR ON NEW BUILDS BUT WHEN THE PITCH OF THE ROOF EXCEEDS DEGREES THEY BECOME UNFEASIBLY EXPENSIVE &OR MANY PEOPLE INSTALLING PHOTOVOLTAIC PANELS IS A MORE PRAGMATIC AND ENVIRONMENTALLY EFFECTIVE OPTIONv 4HE 5+ IS STREETS BEHIND OTHER COUN TRIES IN ITS INSTALLATION OF GREEN ROOFS &OR EXAMPLE SINCE OVER MILLION SQUARE METRES OF GREEN ROOFS HAVE BEEN ERECTED IN 'ERMANY ALONE 5NFORTUNATELY THE 5+ 'OVERNMENT SHOWS LITTLE SIGN OF TRYING TO BRIDGE THIS GAP NO CLEAR lNAN CIAL INCENTIVES ARE AVAILABLE FOR DEVELOP ERS AND NO OBLIGATORY REQUIREMENTS OR POLICIES ARE IN PLACE TO GUIDE PLANNERS AND CLIENTS 0RESSURE ON THE GOVERNMENT IS MOUNTING THOUGH AND SOME SIGNS ARE ENCOURAGING WITH MANY LOCAL AUTHORITIES VIEWING GREEN ROOFS AS AN ASSET TO A PLAN NING APPLICATION 4HE OPPORTUNITIES FOR GREEN ROOFS ARE ENDLESS WITH PRESENT EXAMPLES RANGING FROM BUS SHELTERS IN 3HEFlELD TO THE "AR CLAY S "ANK BUILDING IN #ANARY 7HARF ,IV INGROOFS ORG HAS A GREAT STEP BY STEP GUIDE TO GREEN ROOlNG YOUR BIKE SHED ) RECKON IT LOOKS QUITE EASY 7HAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR
3O YOU THOUGHT THE POLITICAL AND SCI ENTIFIC DEBATE ABOUT WHETHER HUMANS ARE CAUSING CLIMATE CHANGE WAS FINAL LY OVER 4HE )NTERGOVERNMENTAL 0ANEL ON #LIMATE #HANGE AGREE THAT MEN ARE EXACERBATING CLIMATE CHANGE AND EVEN 'EORGE $UBYA HAS RELUCTANTLY ADMITTED IT (OWEVER JUST AS YOU VE RELAXED CONFIDENT IN THE KNOWLEDGE THAT YOU KNOW WHAT S GOING ON ALONG COMES -ARTIN $URKIN S @4HE 'REAT 'LOBAL 7ARMING 3WINDLE A NEW FILM CHALLENGING THE ORTHODOXY PRESENTED BY !L 'ORE S @!N )NCONVENIENT 4RUTH &OR A CLEAR AND UNBIASED VIEW OF THE BIG PICTURE HEAD TO WWW GREEN FACTS ORG 4HIS IS THE WEBSITE OF AN IN DEPENDENT NON PROFIT ORGANISATION WHOSE REMIT IS TO PRESENT FACTS ON HEALTH AND THE ENVIRONMENT ALL IN A HIGHLY READABLE QUESTION AND ANSWER STYLE 4HEMES COVERED INCLUDE !TMOS PHERE $ISEASES #HEMICALS $RINKING 7ATER %NVIRONMENTAL #HANGE &OOD ,IFE STYLE AND 2ADIATION AND THEIR INFORMATION IS GATHERED FROM A WIDE RANGE OF SOURCES 4O READ THE ARGUMENTS FOR AND AGAINST CLIMATE CHANGE SIMPLY HEAD TO THE %NVIRONMENTAL #HANGE SEC TION SCAN THE &!1S TO FIND @7HAT CAUSES THIS CLIMATE CHANGE AND READ AS MUCH AS YOU LIKE OF THE THREE LEVEL ANSWER LEVEL ONE PROVIDES A SUMMARY LEVEL TWO DETAILS AND LEVEL THREE THE SOURCE %ACH ANSWER ALSO SUPPLIES A NUMBER OF LINKS TO THE REL EVANT ORGANISATIONS FURTHER STUDIES AND NEWS PAGES /THER QUESTIONS TACKLED INCLUDE h(OW DOES DRUG ADDICTION DEVEL OP v h!RE GENETICALLY MODIFIED PLANT FOODS SAFE TO EAT v AND h7HAT ARE THE WORLDWIDE TRENDS IN THE ()6 !)$3 EPIDEMIC v !LL ANSWERS ARE EXPRESSED IN LAYMAN S TERMS AND MANY ARE SUP PORTED BY GRAPHS ALONGSIDE THE GIVEN FACTS AND FIGURES !N ADDED BONUS IS THE FREE QUAR TERLY NEWS LETTER KEEPING YOU UP TO DATE WITH NEW RESEARCH AND IDEAS !S WELL AS IN %NGLISH THE SITE CAN ALSO BE VIEWED IN 'ERMAN 3PANISH &RENCH AND $UTCH 'REENFACTS IS SO CLEAR AND SIMPLE TO USE THAT IT S EASY TO SEE WHY IT RE CEIVED TWO MILLION VISITORS LAST YEAR )F YOU HAVE A BURNING QUESTION ABOUT SOMETHING HEALTH OR ENVIRONMENT RELATED ) RECOMMEND THAT YOU JOIN THEM 2OSIE "RADLEY "UNN
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#/.#2%4% 7EDNESDAY TH -ARCH
$EAR $AISY
#ONCRETE S AGONY AUNT
7ELCOME TO -Y 7ORLD
DEAR DAISY HOTMAIL CO UK
$EAR $AISY $O YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO l ND A VEGETARIAN MALE 6IRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE 4HERE ARE VEGGIE WOMEN APLENTY BUT CAN ) l ND MYSELF A TOFU LOVING HUNK .O ) DON T MIND DATING MEAT EATERS AT THE MOMENT BUT IN THE LONG TERM ) WILL WANT TO SETTLE DOWN WITH SOME ONE WHO DOESN T LEAVE LARD IN THE GRILL PAN ) HAVE BEEN OUT WITH A FEW GUYS BUT IF THEY CANNOT GIVE UP THEIR LOVE OF MEAT THEN ) GIVE UP ON THEM &OR ME BEING VEGGIE IS AS NORMAL AS OTHER PEOPLE l ND BEING MEAT EATERS -Y FAMILY ARE ALL VEGETARIANS SO IT HAS NEVER BEEN THAT MUCH OF AN IS SUE FOR ME &OR THIS REASON THERE ARE CERTAIN THINGS ) HAVEN T HAD TO THINK ABOUT UNTIL RECENTLY -Y BROTHERS HAVE FOUND IT RELATIVELY EASY TO MAKE THEIR LONG TERM GIRLFRIENDS GIVE UP MEAT BUT MEN ARE LESS EASY TO CONVINCE 4HIS IS THE l RST PROBLEM 4HEN AT SOME POINT WE WOULD HAVE TO DECIDE WHETHER TO BRING UP OUR CHILDREN AS VEGGIES OR MEAT EATERS &OR ME THIS IS NON NEGOTIABLE ) AM NOT STUBBORN BUT THERE ISN T REALLY A COMPROMISE WITH BEING VEGETARIAN 9OU ARE EITHER VEGETARIAN OR YOU RE NOT )T CREATES THE SAME PROBLEMS AS DATING PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT RELIGIONS EXCEPT YOU CAN T JUST GO TO DIFFERENT PLACES OF WORSHIP BECAUSE YOU SHARE THE SAME KITCHEN !VOCADO LOVER $EAR !VOCADO LOVER 9OUR DEAR AUNT $AISY KNOWS ONLY TO WELL HOW DIFl CULT IT CAN BE TO l ND THAT FREE RANGE -R 2IGHT (ERE ARE A COUPLE OF TIPS &IRST BE PRO ACTIVE 4HERE ARE MEN OUT THERE WHO ARE PASSIONATE VEGETARIANS IT S JUST A QUESTION OF l NDING THEM 4HERE ARE A NUMBER OF WEBSITES WHICH ARE USEFUL FOR JOINING VEGETARIAN GROUPS MAKING VEGGIE FRIENDS OR EVEN l NDING THAT -R 2IGHT 4HERE HAVE ALSO BEEN RUMOURS OF A VEGETARIAN SOCIETY STARTING AT 5%! 7ELL SO FAR IT S JUST BEEN THAT RUMOURS 9OU COULD HOW EVER GET UP AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT 'ET TWENTY SIGNATURES AND YOU HAVE YOURSELF A READY MADE PLACE TO l ND SOME VEGGIE LOVING )F YOU DO HAPPEN TO FALL FOR SOMEONE WHO STUBBORNLY REFUSES TO GIVE UP MEAT YOU COULD OF FER TO COOK FOR THEM -ANY MEAT SUB STITUTES ARE REASONABLY CONVINCING YOU COULD SLOWLY WEAN YOUR POTENTIAL LOVER OFF MEAT WITHOUT HIS KNOWLEDGE ! LITTLE SNEAKY PERHAPS BUT YOUR AUNT $AISY NEVER SAID SHE FOUGHT CLEAN $AISY XXX
(ELPFUL NUMBERS AND E MAIL ADDRESSES #OUNSELLING SERVICE !DVICE #ENTRE 7ELFARE /Fl CER SU WELFARE UEA AC UK .IGHTLINE NIGHTLINE UEA AC UK
6EGETARIANISM
,ENT IS UPON US AND ALL ACROSS 5%! PEOPLE ARE GIVING THINGS UP )N THE SPIRIT OF SACRIl CE !NDY *UDSON GIVES UP MEAT AND DABBLES IN THE WORLD OF VEGETARIANISM
)
LOVE MEAT AND NOT IN A SEXUAL WAY 4HERE REALLY IS NOTHING BETTER THAN A BIG JUICY STEAK COOKED RARE OR EVEN A SIMPLE BA CON SARNIE SCOFFED THE MORNING AFTER THE NIGHT BEFORE "UT IT S ,ENT AND ) THOUGHT A BIG SACRIFICE WAS IN ORDER TO PROVE MY METTLE n ) WOULD BECOME A VEGETARIAN &OR MANY PEOPLE OF COURSE THIS IS A PERFECTLY NATURAL EXPERIENCE AND HARDLY A CHALLENGE BUT LET S FACE IT WE DO LOVE EAT ING MEAT -C$ONALDS AND +&# FISH FINGERS STEAK TAR TARE )T SEEMS THAT IT WOULD BE QUITE DIFFICULT TO AVOID EATING ANIMAL FLESH 4HERE ARE A VARIETY OF REASONS WHY SOMEONE MIGHT DO THIS &OR EXAMPLE ANIMAL RIGHTS LOBBYISTS BELIEVE THAT OUR NATURAL STATE IS NOT AS OMNIVORES BUT IN FACT HERBIVORE 4HIS TO BE HONEST WAS NOT HIGH EST AMONGST MY THOUGHTS BUT IF A CUTE FLUFFY SHEEP DIDN T DIE BECAUSE OF MY ACTIONS THEN ALL THE BET TER /THERS HOWEVER CLAIM THAT EATING MEAT IS ACTUALLY UNHEALTHY AND HERE THERE MAY BE A POINT /BVIOUSLY CONSUMING PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING TO EXCESS IS BAD FOR YOU AND MEAT IN PAR TICULAR HAS ITS PROBLEMS NAMELY HIGHER LEVELS OF SATURATED FAT AND CHOLES TEROL WHICH GIVES A HIGHER CHANCE OF HEART PROBLEMS 0LUS YOU RE HARDLY GOING TO GET E COLI FROM EATING RAW CABBAGE /VERALL EVI DENCE SEEMS TO SUGGEST THAT
) HAVE BEEN OPENED UP TO A NEW WORLD OF CULINARY DELIGHTS THAT ) MAY NEVER HAVE DISCOV ERED &INDING A NUMBER OF NEW RECIPES AND NEW DISHES HAS BEEN AN EXCITING AND TASTY EXPERIENCE
VEGETARIANS ARE HEALTHIER THAN NON VEGETARIANS AND ALTHOUGH THIS MAY BE BE CAUSE OF OTHER HEALTH FAC TORS IT DOES SEEM TO MAKE LOGICAL SENSE ESPECIALLY SINCE THERE ARE FEW NUTRI TIONAL NEEDS THAT CAN ONLY BE MET BY MEAT 3O OFF ) WANDER INTO THE LIFE OF A VEGETARIAN AND THE FIRST THING THAT HITS ME IS THE SUBSTANTIAL DROP IN CHOICE 4HIS IS HIGHLIGHTED BY A SIMPLE TRIP TO THE 5&/ FOR A SANDWICH WHEREBY ALL MY USUAL CHOICES ARE RULED OUT )N FACT LARGE AMOUNTS OF FAST FOOD ARE NON VEG ETARIAN n KEBABS AND FISH AND CHIPS SPRING TO MIND !T FIRST ) THOUGHT THAT A RE DUCTION IN CHOICE WOULDN T BE A PROBLEM BUT AFTER THE THIRD DAY OF EGG MAYON NAISE SANDWICHES ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH 3O TIME FOR SOME CREATIVE ACTION )T BECAME NECESSARY TO ASK FRIENDS AND RELATIVES FOR ASSISTANCE AND SUDDENLY ) WAS INUNDATED WITH A LIST OF VEGGIE RECIPES TO SAMPLE 0ASTAS SALADS AND RISOTTOS OF ALL KINDS WERE THROWN MY WAY 4HUS IT BECAME APPARENT THAT THERE WAS MORE CHOICE ) HAD SIMPLY BEEN LAZY 'O INTO 4ESCO AND IN FACT YOU WILL FIND ALL SORTS ON OFFER SHOULD YOU WISH TO AVOID MEAT 1UITE QUICKLY IT BECAME APPARENT THAT BEING A VEGETARIAN CAN BE VERY SIMPLE AND THERE REALLY ISN T ANY RESTRICTION ON YOUR CHOICE OF FOOD IF YOU RE NOT AFRAID TO LOOK "UT WE RE ALL STU DENTS HERE AND THERE ARE TIMES WHEN INSTANT FOOD IS A NECESSITY ) AM TALK
ING MAINLY OF COURSE OF THE POST ,#2 MUNCHIES WHEN FRANKLY A LOVELY BA CON SANDWICH SEEMS LIKE A BRILLIANT IDEA (OWEVER A CHEESE TOASTIE WORKS WON DERS AS WELL 0LUS ) WENT ONE STEP FURTHER AND TRIED A VEGGIE BURGER FROM THE BURGER VAN AND ) HAVE TO SAY THAT ) WAS PLEASANTLY SURPRISED )T WAS TASTY AND FILLING EXACTLY WHAT ) D EX PECT FROM A NORMAL BURGER )N ADDITION ALTHOUGH MY PALLET IS HARDLY AT A REFINED STATE AT AM AFTER MUL TIPLE VODKAS ) HONESTLY COULDN T REALLY TELL ANY DIF FERENCE 3O ONCE AGAIN THE VEGGIE OPTION PREVAILED )N FACT ) WOULD LATER DISCOVER THAT OTHER VEGETARIAN PAT TIES WERE IN FACT ACCEPTABLE REPLACEMENTS FOR THE REAL THING SUCH AS THAT OFFERED AT 3UBWAY WHERE ) AM A REGULAR ATTENDANT 3O ULTIMATELY MY TIME AS A VEGETARIAN HAS BEEN SUR PRISINGLY EASY 2ATHER THAN FINDING MYSELF RESTRICTED ) HAVE BEEN OPENED UP TO A NEW WORLD OF CULINARY DELIGHTS THAT ) MAY NEVER HAVE DISCOVERED &INDING A NUMBER OF NEW RECIPES AND NEW DISHES HAS BEEN AN EXCITING AND TASTY EX PERIENCE AND THERE IS STILL SO MUCH MORE TO TRY 'OOD FOOD IS SOMETHING THAT WE CAN ALL ENJOY AND ENCOUR AGING OURSELVES TO EXPAND OUR CULINARY HORIZONS CAN ONLY BE A GOOD THING 3INCE MEAT IS FAIRLY PRICEY THERE CERTAINLY AREN T ANY FINAN CIAL IMPLICATIONS FROM BE COMING VEGGIE WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY IMPORTANT FOR ANY UNIVERSITY STUDENT
42!6%,
7EDNESDAY TH -ARCH #/.#2%4%
,A $OLCE 6ITA
4HOUGH "RESCIA MAY NOT SPRING TO MIND AS QUICKLY AS 2OME OR #OMO &LORENCE "USWELL UNCOVERS A BEAUTIFUL CITY FULL OF CULTURE CLUBS AND FANTAS TIC FOOD ON HER TRAVELS AROUND .ORTHERN )TALY
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UROPE HAS ALWAYS OFFERED AN AMAZING VARIETY OF COUNTRIES TO INDULGE THE YOUNG TRAVELLER S INTER ESTS FROM SUNNY 3PAIN TO THE SNOWY !LPS )TALY IS CLEARLY ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR OF THESE DESTINATIONS WITH TRAVELLERS DRAWN TO THE COUNTRY S MOSAIC OF CULTURE SUN FOOD AND LIFESTYLE !S A YOUNG TRAVELLER MYSELF ) CHOSE TO DISCOVER THE NORTHERN PART OF )TALY WHICH INCORPORATES A TREAS
ING ONE OF THE APERITIVO BARS FOR A COLD GLASS OR TWO OF PIRLO AND SOME FREE BITE SIZED PIZZA SLICES 4HOSE OF YOU LOOKING FOR A GOOD NIGHT OUT SHOULD TRY THE @,IO "AR NEXT TO THE RAILWAY OR SLIGHTLY FUR THER AFIELD THE ,ATINO CLUB @#OPAC ABANA WHERE YOU CAN BE CERTAIN TO BE WHISKED OFF YOUR FEET BY AN )TAL IAN DETERMINED TO GET YOUR %NGLISH FEET DANCING MORE LIKE A SENSUOUS ,ATINO S .EXT DOOR IS THE LOCAL 2 N " CLUB WHERE YOU CAN PARTY UNTIL
7ITH ITS WIDE MARKET PLACES 2OMAN RUINS AND VARIED ARCHITECTURE "RESCIA OFFERS A CULTURAL CORNUCOPIA URE TROVE OF FAMOUS PLACES INCLUD ING -ILAN 6ENICE 6ERONA AND ,AKE 'ARDA FOR THREE WEEKS LAST SPRING ) BASED MYSELF IN "RESCIA FOR THIS TIME A RELATIVELY SMALL BUT PROSPER OUS TOWN DRIPPING WITH )TALIAN CUL TURE AND ONLY A TWENTY FIVE MINUTE SHUTTLE BUS RIDE FROM THE AIRPORT 7ITH ITS WIDE MARKET PLACES 2OMAN RUINS AND VARIED ARCHITECTURE "RESCIA OFFERS A CULTURAL CORNUCOPIA (ISTORY IS VERY MUCH PART OF "RESCIA S ATTRAC TION WITH 0IAZZA 6ITTORIA WHERE -USSOLINI ONCE DELIVERED A SPEECH TO THE )TALIAN PEOPLE CREATING A MODERN MONOLITHIC ANGLE 4HE CAS TLE IS ALSO A GREAT ATTRACTION AND THE WALK THERE PROVIDES FANTASTIC VIEWS WITH THE TOWN LAID OUT IN A -EDITER RANEAN PATCHWORK OF COLOUR BELOW !FTERWARDS IT IS ALWAYS WORTH VISIT
AM 3ECONDA #LASSE IS ALSO A GOOD BET AS LONG AS YOU GO THERE WITH YOUR TONGUE VERY MUCH LODGED IN YOUR CHEEK THE MIXTURE OF CHEESY MUSIC AND EVEN CHEESIER CLIENTELE CAN BE TOO MUCH FOR SOME !PART FROM GOING ALONG WITH A LIGHT HEARTED APPROACH TO THE )TALIAN NIGHTLIFE THERE ARE TWO OTHER IMPOR TANT THINGS TO REMEMBER &IRSTLY AL THOUGH CONTINUING UNTIL DAYBREAK IS NOT UNCOMMON THE CLUB WILL PROB ABLY NOT GET BUSY UNTIL AT LEAST ONE IN THE MORNING 3ECONDLY TAXI SERV ICES CAN BE QUITE ERRATIC AND IT IS OF TEN VERY DIFFICULT TO GET A CAB AT PEAK CLUB CLOSING TIMES SO MAKE SURE YOU ARE RELATIVELY PUNCTUAL ABOUT LEAVING OR RISK BEING STRANDED 7HEN YOU DO START LOOKING BE YOND THE CYCLE OF SHOPPING DRINKING
AND SCENERY IN AND AROUND "RESCIA THE MEANS FOR FURTHER DISCOVERY IS SIMPLE 4REN )TALIA THE )TALIAN TRAIN NETWORK LINKS "RESCIA TO MANY MAJOR )TALIAN CITIES $URING MY TIME IN )TA LY ) ALSO MANAGED TO EXPLORE -ILAN 6ENICE 6ERONA 2AVENNA AND MORE )T IS EXTREMELY EASY TO BUY YOUR TICKETS AND GENERALLY VERY CHEAP TOO ! MERE KILOMETRES AWAY 6ERO NA OFFERS SOME OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL )TALIAN ARCHITECTURE RICH -EDITERRA NEAN CULTURE AND OF COURSE DELICIOUS )TALIAN ICE CREAMS 6ERONA IS VERY MUCH A PLACE FOR PEOPLE WHO LIKE TO IMMERSE THEMSELVES IN THE CULTURE AND HISTORY OF THEIR DESTINATION 6E RONA S HISTORY IS UNMISSABLE &ROM THE ENORMOUS 2OMAN AMPHITHEA TRE WHICH SITS ON 0IAZZA "RA TO THE WORLD FAMOUS BALCONY FROM 2OMEO AND *ULIET 6ERONA DEFINITELY HAS NU MEROUS ATTRACTIONS FOR THE CULTURED TOURIST 4HERE IS PLENTY OF SHOPPING TO BE DONE TOO AND THE MARKET AT 0I AZZA DEI 3IGNORI WITH ITS ARRAY OF DE LICIOUS FOOD AND INTRICATELY DESIGNED SOUVENIRS INCLUDING THE FAMED 6ENE TIAN MASKS IS NOT TO BE MISSED (OWEVER IF SHOPPING IS WHAT YOU RE AFTER THEN -ILAN IS YOUR PRIME LOCATION ! LUSTROUS CITY OF MONEY AND TEMPTATIONS -ILAN S SHOPPING IS RICH AND VARIED !MBLING ALONG 6IA -ONTENAPOLEONE OR IN THE 'OLDEN 1UAD YOU WILL SEE SCORES OF INCRED IBLE DESIGNER SHOPS &ORTUNATELY FOR THE TOURIST WITH LESS DISPOSABLE INCOME JUST ALONG FROM THE MAIN SQUARE ARE THE SLIGHTLY CHEAPER FASH ION EMPORIUMS INCLUDING :ARA AND ( - &OR UNMATCHED BEAUTY HOWEVER 6ENICE HAS IT ALL 4HIS @FLOATING CITY WITH ITS MAZE OF NARROW BACKSTREETS IS THE PERFECT PLACE TO LOSE YOURSELF
FOR A DAY 3T -ARK S 3QUARE IS THE MOST OBVIOUS ATTRACTION INCORPORAT ING DAZZLING SPLENDOUR WITH IMPRES SIVE BUILD INGS MANY OF WHICH HOUSE MUSEUMS AND GALLERIES THE GALLERY OF THE !CCADEMIA BEING THE MOST SPECTACULAR )T IS WORTH REMEM BERING THOUGH THAT 6ENICE AS FAR AS YOUNG TRAVELLERS ARE CONCERNED IS NOT CHEAP %ATING IN 3T -ARKS 3QUARE IS VERY EXPENSIVE AND GONDOLA RIDES ALTHOUGH EXCITING ALSO COST A SMALL FORTUNE 0ICK YOUR DAY CAREFULLY TOO AS THE WEATHER CAN OFTEN BE MOODY AND YOU CAN GET CAUGHT OUT IF THE 3QUARE FLOODS &OR THOSE OF YOU LOOKING FOR A BIT OF ESCAPISM FROM THIS CULTURAL WHIRLWIND YOU CAN T GO WRONG WITH 2AVENNA !N AMAZING STRETCH OF SAND "RITISH BEACHES CAN ONLY DREAM OF 2AVENNA OFFERS RESTFUL RELIEF /VERALL WITH ITS BEAUTIFUL CULTUR ALLY RICH CITIES AND STUNNING SCENERY .ORTHERN )TALY OFFERS BRILLIANT VALUE FOR MONEY AND UNFORGETTABLE EXPERI ENCES FOR ANY YOUNG TRAVELLER
4RAVEL 'URU S LATEST OFFERING IS @4RAVEL )NTELLIGENCE A CLASSY TRAVEL JOURNALISM SITE CHOCK FULL OF ARTICLES REVIEWS AND THE LATEST MUST VISIT DESTINATIONS %XPLORE AT YOUR LEISURE AT WWW TRAVELINTELLIGENCE NET
#/.#2%4% 7EDNESDAY TH -ARCH
#OMMENT
,ET 2ETRO 'O
&ROM COMPUTER GAMES TO FILMS TO CLOTHES AND EVEN THE CLUB NIGHTS AT THE ,#2 THERE IS AN INCREASING POPULARITY WITH ALL THINGS RETRO 2ICHARD $UCKWORTH ASKS WHY WE RETURN TO THESE OUTDATED TRENDS AND WHAT THIS IMPLIES ABOUT OUR OWN CULTURE
4
HIS ARTICLE IS THE WRITER S PERSONAL PLEA FOR SANITY IN RESPONSE TO AN INCREASINGLY SUFFOCATING AND SEEMINGLY ALL ENCOMPASSING RELIANCE ON THE IRONIC APPRECIATION OF {RETRO{ CULTURE 4HE CASE IS TIGHTER THAN $AVID (ASSELHOFF S SWIMMING TRUNKS .IGHTS AT THE ,#2 AND 7ATERFRONT ARE DOMINATED BY SUCH POST IRONIC GATHERINGS AS { S .IGHT {.ON 3TOP S {.OW 4HAT S 7HAT ) #ALL S AND {#LUB 2ETRO !T LEAST THIRTEEN EVENTS THIS TERM AT THE ,#2 HAVE A RETRO THEME NEARLY OUTNUMBERING NIGHTS WITH CONTEMPORARY THEMES !RE WE ACTUALLY AT A POINT IN LIFE WHERE WE CAN ONLY GAIN SELF ESTEEM BY MOCKING EMULATIONS OF PSEUDO MASCULINE lGURES SUCH AS $AVID (ASSELHOFF 3TEVEN 3EAGAL OR -R 4 ,OOK AT CINEMA THIS YEAR FOR YET MORE SHAMELESS REFERENCES AND RECREATIONS OF PAST ERAS PARTICULARLY THE @ S WHEN SUCH MEDIA MAY HAVE SATISlED AT THE TIME BUT IS NOW ESSENTIALLY CULTURALLY IRRELEVANT ! FEW RECENT EXAMPLES OF THIS ARE RECENT CINEMATIC MASTERPIECES SUCH AS 3TARSKY AND (UTCH $UKES OF (AZZARD $OOM 4HE )TALIAN *OB 4EXAS #HAINSAW -ASSACRE AND NOT TO MENTION THE IMMINENT RESURRECTION OF )NDIANA *ONES $IE (ARD 4RANSFORMERS AND THE 4EENAGE -UTANT .INJA (ERO 4URTLES ALL RECEIVING CINEMATIC REVIVALS IN THIS YEAR OR NEXT 7HAT S WRONG WITH NEW IDEAS .EW FRANCHISES -OVIE COMPANIES ARE FULLY AWARE THAT BY USING OLDER FRANCHISES AND FAMILIARITY THEY WILL ALWAYS GUARANTEE A HIGHER TURNOVER WITH THE PUBLIC AND BIGGER BOX OFlCE RETURNS BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE NOT ALWAYS OPEN TO NEW EXPERIENCES 4HEY WOULD RATHER HAVE SOMETHING FAMILIAR SOMETHING THEY HAVE SEEN BEFORE THAT S REPACKAGED AND RENEWED !ND THAT S THE PROBLEM !RE @ S SIDE SCROLLING $ PLATFORM GAMES SUCH AS -ARIO OR 3ONIC REALLY BETTER THAN THE NEXT GEN $ ORGANIC FREE ROAMING GAME WORLDS BEING DEVELOPED AT THE MOMENT SUCH AS THE NEW 'RAND 4HEFT !UTO OR %LDER 3CROLLS .O /F COURSE NOT 9ET PEOPLE STILL CLAIM THEY PREFER THE @OLD CLASSICS THE @GOLDEN OLDIES DESPITE THE OBVIOUSNESS OF THEIR INFERIORITY "UT WHY ,OOK AT THE BEST SELLING 4 SHIRTS ON 0LAY COM 2ATHER THAN AN EXPRESSION OF NEW MUSIC lLM
) GUESS THE MAIN PROBLEM WITH @RETRO CULTURE IS THAT IT IMPLIES THAT OUR OWN MODERN CULTURE IS INFERIOR AND CAN ONLY BE BETTERED BY TRYING TO TRANSCEND THE PAST CHANGE IT AND PACKAGE IT AS SOMETHING NEW
AND SUBCULTURES THE SITE IS PLAGUED BY SUCH POST IRONIC UNINVENTIVE VACUOUS EXCREMENTS OF BANALITY SUCH AS 4RANSFORMERS $ANGERMOUSE 3PACE )NVADERS AND 4HUNDERCATS TO NAME BUT A FEW OF THE PREDICTABLE THEMES $ON T GET ME STARTED ON PEOPLE WHO WEAR CLASSIC ROCK T SHIRTS EMBLAZENED WITH NAMES SUCH AS ,ED :EPPLIN !# $# THE 3EX 0ISTOLS OR THE 2AMONES HALF OF WHOM HAVE PROBABLY NEVER HEARD MORE THAN THE BAND S MOST FAMOUS SINGLE 7HY DO THEY WEAR THEM "ECAUSE IT S @COOL )F YOU REALLY NEED TO WEAR A @RETRO T SHIRT TO SHOW EVERYONE HOW COOL YOU ARE THEN COOLNESS IS SOMETHING YOU SEVERELY LACK 9OU ARE A CLONE DROWNING IN A SEA OF POP CULTURE REFERENCE UNDER THE MISTAKEN BELIEF THAT BY SELF REFERENCING AN OLDER GENERATION YOU WILL TRANSCEND THE CURRENT CULTURAL MOVEMENTS THAT DElNE YOUR OWN )T SEEMS EVERY RECOGNISABLE CONVERSATION IN CONTEMPORARY SOCIETY CANNOT GO BY WITHOUT SOME FORGETTABLE TRIPE BEING REFERRED TO AS @CHEESE @CLASSIC @LEGEND OR SIMPLY JUST @RETRO 4HESE ARE THE DEFENCES MOST OFTEN USED THAT WATCHING A CRAP @ S MOVIE IS DESIRABLE BECAUSE IT IS @IRONIC AND ALL MISS THE FACT THAT IRONIC STATEMENT OR NOT YOU RE TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING THAT IS WAS AND ALWAYS WILL BE SHIT 3OME ILL INFORMED SOCIAL COMMENTATORS WILL TELL YOU THAT THIS IS ALL A SIGN OF POST MODERNITY 4HEY DO HOWEVER MISS THE ESSENCE OF WHAT POST MODERNITY IMPLIES FOR OUR CULTURE IT MEANS THAT WE CAN CREATE ART WITHOUT THE RESTRICTION OF THE NOTION OF OBJECTIVE PROGRESS ALLOWING US TO @PICK @N MIX FROM A PLETHORA OF SOCIAL MOVEMENTS )T DOES NOT
IMPLY THAT THE LEGITIMATE CREATIVE CONCERN FOR OUR CULTURE SHOULD BE THE INVOCATION OF ART WITH NO MERIT FROM THE @ S WITH THE SELF INDULGENT AIM OF REINFORCING OUR OWN COLLECTIVE SUPERIORITY A SATIRE WITHOUT FOUNDATION AS IN DOING THIS WE ARE NOT PROGRESSING OUR OWN GENERATION AT ALL 4HERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH APPRECIATING THE OLD LOOKING BACK AT PAST CULTURE AND CELEBRATING IT "UT THERE SHOULD ALWAYS BE PROGRESS AND ALWAYS BE AN OUTWARD REACH TO THE FUTURE $O WE REALLY WANT TO DElNE OUR MODERN HERE AND NOW CULTURE BY SPENDING OUR TIME LISTENING TO @ S MUSIC WEARING @ S 4 SHIRTS WATCHING @ S MOVIES AND DISCOURSING ON HOW MUCH BETTER THE @ S WERE )S THAT HOW WE WISH TO BE REMEMBERED AS A GENERATION ) GUESS THE MAIN PROBLEM WITH @RETRO CULTURE IS THAT IT IMPLIES THAT OUR OWN MODERN CULTURE IS INFERIOR AND CAN ONLY BE BETTERED BY TRYING TO TRANSCEND THE PAST CHANGE IT AND PACKAGE IT AS SOMETHING NEW )F CURRENT CULTURE SEEMS SO INFERIOR TO PAST DECADES WE SHOULD NOT JUST REVEL IN THE OLD BUT TRY AND STRIVE TO BETTER THE NEW !S AUTHORS WE IMPLORE THE READER TO IGNORE THE SELF CONSCIOUS CRITICISM THAT IMPEDES CREATIVE ORIGINALITY AND START CREATING OUR OWN DIVERSE POST MODERN WORLD RATHER THAN INDULGING IN THIS POST IRONIC CULTURAL MASTURBATION THAT WE ARE SINKING INTO AS A SOCIETY 3O THROW DOWN YOUR 4RANSFORMERS 4 SHIRT STAMP ON YOUR @) ,OVE THE S #$ LOG OFF YOUR h3PACE )NVADERS 2/#+3 v &ACEBOOK GROUP AND WAKE UP AND SMELL THE ST CENTURY 7HO KNOWS 9OU MIGHT EVEN CONTRIBUTE TO ITx
4HERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH APPRECIATING THE OLD LOOKING BACK AT PAST CULTURE AND CELEBRATING IT "UT THERE SHOULD ALWAYS BE PROGRESS ALWAYS BE AN OUTWARD REACH TO THE FUTURE
#/--%.4 /0).)/.
7EDNESDAY TH -ARCH #/.#2%4%
(OUSEMATE FROM HELL 3ARAH ,OVELOCK 9OU WOULD THINK YOU KNOW SOMEONE PRETTY WELL WHEN YOU VE BEEN THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL TOGETHER SEEN THEIR UPS AND DOWNS SUPPORTED THEM THROUGH BREAK UPS AND GIGGLED YOURSELF SILLY OVER BOYS YOU FANCY 7ELL IT S ALMOST A GIVEN THAT THE PERSON YOU GET ON SO WELL WITH WOULD MAKE THE IDEAL HOUSEMATE ) BEG TO DIFFER AND BE LIEVE THAT YOU SHOULD PRO CEED WITH CAUTION 'ETTING ON WELL WITH SOMEONE FOR
YEARS AND LIVING WITH THEM ARE WORLDS APART 4RUST ME ) D GO AS FAR AS TO SAY WHOLE SOLAR SYSTEMS APART -OST OF YOU WILL HAVE ALREADY CHOSEN YOUR HOUSEMATES FOR NEXT YEAR BUT IF YOU STILL HAVEN T GOT ROUND TO IT MY WARN ING IS TO BE CAREFUL WHO YOU CHOSE )T IS THE LITTLE THINGS THAT BEGIN TO GRATE AT lRST "EING SECRETIVE AND HIDING TOILET ROLLS FROM EVERYONE SEEMED TO HAPPEN A LOT IN MY HOUSE 4HEN IT EVOLVED TO WASHING POWDER TOMATO KETCHUP AND BISCUITS 4HE MAJORITY OF US GOT ON REALLY WELL WE DIDN T MIND SHARING CONDI MENTS FOR OUR BACON SARNIES
BUT OTHERS SEEMED TO HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT &AIR ENOUGH YOU MIGHT SAY SO WE LL FOR GIVE THAT ONE IF YOU RE THAT WAY INCLINED .EXT UP IS THE TOUCHY SUBJECT OF HAIR !LWAYS A TRICKY ONE TO BRING UP WITH THE GUILTY HOUSEMATE 9OU KNOW WHO ) MEAN )T IS THE ONE WHO LEAVES SOGGY HAIR IN THE BATH PLUG SINK ON THE mOOR AND EVERYWHERE ELSE THEY GO )F YOU VE KNOWN THIS PERSON ALL YOUR LIFE HOW ARE YOU MEANT TO APPROACH SITU ATIONS LIKE THIS WITHOUT HURT ING THEIR FEELINGS ! FRIEND OF MINE EXPERI ENCED THIS WITH HER HOUSE MATE ,ITTLE THINGS KEPT
BUILDING UP AND WHEN SHE FOUND HER THREE DAY OLD POST OPENED BY SOMEONE ELSE SHE DECIDED TO CONFRONT THE CUL PRIT 4HINGS GOT OUT OF HAND AND ISSUES WERE RAISED FROM TWO YEARS PREVIOUSLY WHEN THE PAIR USED TO BE AT HIGH SCHOOL TOGETHER 4O ME IT SEEMS THAT ALTHOUGH YOU THINK YOU KNOW SOMEONE REALLY WELL YOU CAN NEVER BE SURE WHAT IS GOING THROUGH THEIR MIND 5NFORTUNATELY THIS ARGUMENT LED TO ONE GIRL MOVING OUT )F YOU ARE MOVING IN WITH SOMEONE YOU KNOW VERY WELL HERE ARE A FEW HANDY HINTS TO KEEP THE FRIENDSHIP ALIVE &IRST AND FOREMOST )
WOULD STRESS THAT YOU TALK TO EACH OTHER ABOUT ANY PROB LEMS YOU HAVE $ON T LET IT ACCUMULATE AND EXPLODE INTO A FULL BLOWN ARGUMENT KEEP THINGS CIVILISED 3ECONDLY MAKE SURE THAT YOU SOCIALISE WITH OTHER GROUPS OF FRIENDS AS WELL AS TOGETHER 9OU LIVE WITH EACH OTHER BUT YOU DON T HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING WITH YOUR HOUSEMATES )T IS ALL ABOUT BALANCE AND MATURITY #HOOSING THE RIGHT HOUSEMATE IS A RISKY BUSINESS AND IS SOMETHING ) VE BEEN MADE AWARE OF 0ICKING A MIX TURE OF FRIENDS IS THE BEST WAY FORWARD AND BEING ABLE TO TALK ABOUT HAIR AND SHARING THE MUSTARD ALWAYS HELPS TOO
DRIVERS ARE RUDE UNFRIENDLY AND DOWNRIGHT UNHELPFUL &OR INSTANCE PICTURE A MAN CHASING AFTER THE BUS THROUGH THE CROWDED .OR WICH CITY CENTRE ON A 3ATUR DAY AFTERNOON (E SPRINTS TOWARDS #ASTLE -ALL AND CATCHES UP WITH THE BUS AS THE DOORS CLOSE )N DESPAIR HE HAMMERS ON THE DOOR AND REQUESTS IN A POLITE YET ASSERTIVE TONE THAT THE DOOR BE OPENED (IS AND THE DRIV ER S EYES CROSS THOUGH THE GRIMY GLASS AS THE BUS SLOWLY PULLS AWAY AND INTO THE DIS TANCE .O FELLOW STUDENTS THIS IS NOT A SCENE FROM 3PEED BUT THE STORY OF WHEN ) LEFT MY WALLET AND BUS PASS ON A BUS AT THE BUS STATION AND SUB
SEQUENTLY LOST THEM -Y POINT IS IF THAT DRIVER DID NOT HAVE SUCH A TERRIBLE CHILDHOOD AND A SUBSTANTIALLY HIGHER WAGE HE WOULD NOT BE THE UNHELPFUL BASTARD THAT HE IS TODAY )T WOULD HAVE TAKEN HIM NO EFFORT TO STOP AND LET ME GET MY BUS PASS THE BUS WAS BARELY MOVING 3ORT IT OUT &IRST YOU CHARGE US A RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF MONEY FOR A TWEN TY MINUTE BUS RIDE YOU DON T OFFER REPLACEMENT PASSES EVEN IF THEY ARE STOLEN YOUR DRIVERS ARE SOME OF THE MOST DISHEART ENED PEOPLE ) HAVE EVER MET AND NO DOUBT THIS TIME NEXT YEAR ) WILL INEVITABLY BE WRIT ING YET ANOTHER MOANING ARTI CLE ABOUT YET ANOTHER SHOCKING PRICE HIKE
'RUMPY OLD STUDENTS *AMES 4URNER
7E CAN HARP ON ABOUT THE BEAUTY IN NATURE THE WON DERS OF EVOLUTION AND THE MIND BOGGLING DEPTH OF SPACE BUT WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO THE NITTY GRITTY LIFE IN MODERN "RITAIN IS PRETTY RUBBISH )T S NOT JUST ME THAT THINKS THIS THE TIDE OF 'RUMPY /LD PROGRAMS HAS SWAMPED OUR 46 SCREENS WITH CELEBRITY AFTER CELEBRITY LINING UP TO GOB OFF ABOUT POOR PEOPLE "UT THE RICH AND FAMOUS ARE SURELY TOO BUSY TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THE INADEQUACIES OF
LIFE ANYMORE )F THEY AREN T MAKING FOOLS OF THEMSELVES ON 46 WHO ARE OUR CHILDREN GOING TO LOOK UP TO )F ONLY THERE WERE A GROUP OF PEOPLE IN SOCIETY THAT HAD A LOT OF TIME ON THESE HANDS A GROUP THAT HAD THE ENERGY DISTASTE AND WILL TO MOAN ABOUT EVERY LITTLE THING THAT ANNOYS THEM "UT FEAR NOT STUDENTS OF 5%! THERE IS 4HEY CONTINUE TO WRITE ABOUT HOW *OHNNY &OREIGNER IS COMING FROM THE EVIL %5 TAKING ALL OUR JOBS AND DE lLING OUR WOMEN 7HO AM ) TALKING ABOUT 4HE SENILE SCARE MONGERING ELDERLY /THERWISE KNOW AS $AILY -AIL REPORTERS "UT ) PUT IT TO YOU THAT
THEY SHOULDN T ENJOY THE RIGHT TO BITCH ABOUT LIFE EX CLUSIVELY 3TUDENTS HAVE A LONG AND PROUD TRADITION OF MOANING ABOUT THINGS AND IF ) DARE SAY SO MYSELF ARE QUITE SKILLED AT IT "UT ) FEAR THAT STUDENTS ARE LOSING THIS IMPORTANT SKILL &OR INSTANCE IF THE 0ARISIAN STUDENTS DON T LIKE SOMETHING THEY RIOT AND NOT JUST A LITTLE PROTEST 4HEY RIOT PROPERLY PETROL BOMBS N ALL 3O FELLOW STU DENTS JOIN ME IN A GOOD BITCH AND LET US REKINDLE OUR LOVE OF MOANING ,ET ME START US OFF &IRST BUSES ARE SHIT ) CANNOT THINK OF A BETTER WORD TO DESCRIBE THE SHEAR FAECAL LIKE TASTE THEY LEAVE IN MY MOUTH 4HE
!CADEMIC DEBATE SHOULD BE UNRESTRAINED 2ICHARD 2EYNOLDS ! GROUP OF LEADING ACA DEMICS HEADED BY THE CUR RENT CO PRESIDENT OF THE 5NIVERSITY AND #OLLEGE 5N ION THE LECTURERS UNION RECENTLY LAUNCHED A CAM PAIGN CALLED !&!& OR !CA DEMICS &OR !CADEMIC &REE DOM 4HIS WAS A RESPONSE TO A NUMBER OF RECENT ATTACKS ON ACADEMICS BY THEIR STU DENTS AND THE GOVERNMENT )N THE LAST COUPLE OF WEEKS A DISTINGUISHED /XFORD PRO FESSOR HAS BEEN HOUNDED BY A GROUP OF STUDENTS WHO DO NOT LIKE HIS VIEWS WHICH THEY BRAND hOFFENSIVEv 4HE VIEWS
HE HOLDS ARE NOT ONES ) SHARE NOR ) BELIEVE WOULD A MAJOR ITY OF THE STUDENT BODY (E OPPOSES MIGRATION n THE MAN IS A WORLD LEADING EXPERT ON MIGRATION BUT ACCORDING TO SOME OF HIS STUDENTS THIS IS IRRELEVANT (IS VIEWS ARE OF FENSIVE AND THUS HE HAS NO RIGHT TO EXPRESS THEM SOME STUDENTS ARGUE 4HE PROBLEM OF COURSE FOR THOSE OF US WHO BELIEVE IN ACADEMIC FREEDOM IS THAT WE LIVE IN COMFORTABLE TIMES 4HOSE WHO BREAK WITH CON VENTIONAL WISDOM DO NOT TEND TO BE SYMPATHETIC CHAR ACTERS 4HE PROBLEM FOR US ALL IS THAT RATHER THAN HAVING THE CONlDENCE OF OUR CON VICTIONS BEING PREPARED TO
ARGUE WITH OUR LECTURERS AND TAKE ON THOSE IDEAS WE DON T LIKE INSTEAD WE JUST TRY TO SUPPRESS THEM 3OME ARGUE INCLUDING THE .53 THAT WE AS STUDENTS CANNOT DEAL WITH THESE LEC TURERS 4HIS IS INSULTING 7E ARE ENTERING INTO A NEW FORM OF LEARNING WHEN WE COME TO UNIVERSITY .O LONGER IS OUR EDUCATION ABOUT ABSORB ING INFORMATION WE ARE SUP POSED TO START TO ENGAGE WITH ACADEMIA TO CHALLENGE THE CONVENTIONAL WISDOM AND DISCOVER THE COURAGE OF OUR CONVICTIONS )N SHORT WE IN SOME SMALL WAY ARE EXPECTED TO ENGAGE IN THE ACADEMIC SEARCH FOR TRUTH NOT JUST LEARN THE SKILLS TO PASS OUR EXAMS
4HIS MAY ALL SOUND VERY IDEALISTIC AND HIGH BLOWN BUT THE POINT IS THAT WE DO HAVE THE VERY REAL OPPORTUNI TY TO BE ADULT TO STAND UP FOR OURSELVES AND OUR IDEAS !CADEMIC FREEDOM CAN NOT BE CURTAILED TO ANY EXTENT BECAUSE IT IS JUST THAT EDGE OF GENIUS OR INSANITY THAT HAS TO BE ALLOWED TO mOURISH )F WE WANT TO DISCOVER THE NEXT ,EONARDO .EWTON -ILL OR -ARX WE HAVE TO DEFEND THIS FREEDOM 4HE ISSUES RAISED LAST YEAR BY THE 'OVERNMENT S ATTEMPTS TO USE LECTURERS TO SPY ON EXTREMIST GROUPS ON CAMPUS HIGHLIGHTED A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF WHERE ACADEMIC FREEDOM MUST BE DEFENDED
BY US ALL 7E NEED TO ALLOW PEOPLE TO EXPERIMENT WITH IDEAS AND LECTURERS SHOULD NOT BE FORCED INTO POLICING STUDENTS 4HIS IS WHY ) VE FOUNDED WITH THE HELP OF !&!& WWW 3!&!& ORG UK OR 3TUDENT !CADEMICS FOR !CA DEMIC &REEDOM 9ES ) M NOT GREAT WITH NAMES ) AM ASKING YOU TO SIGN UP EITHER THERE OR ON &ACEBOOK ) D ALSO LIKE TO ASK ALL 5NION #OUNCILLORS TO TRY TO ATTEND THE MEETING NEXT TERM 9ES ) KNOW IT S A CHORE BUT THERE IS ONLY A SMALL PART LEFT (OPEFULLY WE CAN GET THIS MOTION THROUGH PUTTING 5%! lRMLY BEHIND 3!&!& .EVER UNDERESTIMATE THE IM PACT THAT THE VOICE OF STUDENTS CAN HAVE
/PITALK BY ,OUIS (OLDING 0ARSONS $EPUTY %DITOR
2ESPECT "EING MAGNANIMOUS IN VICTORY IS SOMETHING THAT DOESN T COME NATURALLY TO MOST PEOPLE ESPECIALLY TO ME !S A HIGHLY COMPETI TIVE PERSON WINNING FOR ME IS EVERYTHING AND TOUGH LUCK TO THOSE THAT ) HAVE BEATEN 3O ) WAS VERY IM PRESSED BY THE BEHAVIOUR OF SEVERAL MEMBERS OF THE %SSEX ATHLETICS TEAM WHO DESPITE HAVING LOST TO THE 5%! TEAM BY POINTS WERE POLITE FRIENDLY AND A GOOD LAUGTH !BOVE ALL THEY WERE IN AWE %SSEX S FACILITIES HAVE NOTHING ON THE 3PORT SPARK S FOR TRAINING THE LO CAL ARMY BASE S ATHLETICS TRACK IS THEIR ONLY OPTION ) WAS USED TO THE BOISTEROUS NATURE OF OUR PREPARATION TALK AND EXPECTED THE SAME IN RETURN (OW WRONG ) WAS 5%! STUDENTS ACTUALLY NEED TO REALISE THAT MANY %SSEX STUDENTS CAME HERE PRETTY MUCH EXPECTING TO LOSE DUE TO THE DISPARITY IN THE SIZE OF THE UNIVERSITIES AND THE LACK OF FACILITIES BOTH lRMLY IN 5%! S FAVOUR "EATING SOMEONE WHO IS ALREADY AT A DISADVANTAGE BEFORE THE RACE HAS ACTUALLY COMMENCED IS NOT THAT AMUSING !LTHOUGH THERE WERE REPORTED INCI DENTS OF THEIR SPORTS OFlCER GOING OVER THE TOP ON THE ODD OCCASION %SSEX 5NIVER SITY SHOULD BE COMMENDED FOR THEIR PARTICIPATION ) DON T NORMALLY TALK ABOUT PARTICIPATION
ONLY WINNING BUT IT MADE FOR AN ENJOYABLE DAY 4HE SAME CAN BE SAID ABOUT THE ,#2 THAT EVENING 4HE ,#2 MAY BE INFAMOUS FOR BE ING WELL THE ,#2 BUT DUR ING FOUR YEARS ) HAVE NEVER BEEN TO ONE WHERE THE AT MOSPHERE WAS ONE OF SUCH CAMARADERIE WHICH CONTRIB UTED TO ONE OF THE BEST ,#2S ) VE ATTENDED &INALLY A BIG THANKS SHOULD GO OUT TO OUR SPORTS OFlCER +UMI AS WELL AS TO THE REST OF THE STUDENT SPORTS STAFF FOR ORGANISING WHAT BECAME A HIGHLY SUC CESSFUL DAY FOR 5%! ATH LETES
#/.#2%4% 7EDNESDAY TH -ARCH
$EPUTY %DITOR CONCRETE EDITORIAL UEA AC UK ,OUIS (OLDING 0ARSONS #HIEF #OPY %DITOR CONCRETE EDITORIAL UEA AC UK 3ARAH -ABLEY .EWS %DITOR CONCRETE NEWS UEA AC UK *ANE $OUGLAS !SSISTANT .EWS %DITOR .ATALIE ,ASCANCE $EPUTY .EWS %DITOR 2ICHARD 2EYNOLDS 7RITERS *OHN -UTCH 4IM 2IDGEWAY 2ICHARD 2EYNOLDS *ACK #LARK -EGAN "AY $ORNAN #ASSANDRA #AVALLERO .ATALIE ,ASCANCE !NNA 3TEWARD (ANNAH .EWTON &EATURES %DITOR CONCRETE FEATURES UEA AC UK +ATIE 'REEN 7RITERS !NNA 3TEWARD !MANDA ,IM -IRANDA "RYANT *OSH ,ITTLE 4URF %DITOR CONCRETE TURF UEA AC UK (ANNAH .EWTON 7RITER .ATASHA "ARNES 3TACY $LEY 2OSIE "RADLEY "UNN &OOD (EALTH %DITOR CONCRETE LIFESTYLE UEA AC UK *ENNY 0ERKS 7RITER !NDY *UDSON ,IFESTYLE %DITOR CONCRETE LIFESTYLE UEA AC UK !NDY *ONES 4RAVEL %DITOR CONCRETE LIFESTYLE UEA AC UK 7ILL 'REAVES 7RITER &LORENCE "USWELL /PINIONS %DITOR CONCRETE EDITORIAL UEA AC UK ,OUIS (OLDING 0ARSONS 7RITERS 3ARAH ,OVELOCK *AMES 4URNER 2ICHARD 2EYNOLDS 3PORT %DITOR CONCRETE SPORT UEA AC UK -ARCUS *ONES $EPUTY 3PORTS %DITOR 4IM 2IDGWAY 7RITERS $ANNY 4HOMAS *AMES "RINDLE #IARAN 2OONEY +ATIE 'REEN $AN 4UCKER !LEX 7ALKER #ARTOONIST *EN -ARCHANT (ECTOR ,OWE 0ROOFREADING .ICK 0ULLEN #ATHERINE *ONES %MMELINE 3AUNDERS $AN 7RIGHT 0ICTURE %DITOR 0HIL "ANKS !DVERTISING CONCRETE ADVERTISING UEA AC UK *OANNA ,AMBERT ,OUISE $UNGATE $ISTRIBUTION #ONRAD (AYES
!POLOGY 7E WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGISE TO 4ESSA .ORTH WHOSE .53 DELEGATE WRITE UP WAS NOT INCLUDED LAST ISSUE DUE TO AN ERROR WITH EMAIL #ONCRETE 0/ "/8 ./27)#( ./2&/,+ .2 4" #ONCRETE IS PUBLISHED BY 55%!3 #ONCRETE 3OCIETY ¥ #ONCRETE )33. ,ETTERS SHOULD BE ADDRESSED FOR THE ATTENTION OF THE %DITOR !NNA 3TEWARD ,ETTERS MUST INCLUDE CONTACT DETAILS BUT WE WILL CONSIDER ANONYMOUS PUBLICATION 7E RESERVE THE RIGHT TO EDIT FOR LENGTH AND CLARITY AS NECESSARY /PINIONS EXPRESSED ARE NOT NECESSARILY THOSE OF THE 0UBLISHER OR %DITOR 5SE OF THE NAME 4HE %VENT IS BY ARRANGEMENT WITH THE COPYRIGHT HOLDERS 0LANET :OG ,TD .O PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRODUCED THROUGH ANY MEANS WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE %DITOR 0RINTED BY !RCHANT
!GGRESSIVE %LECTIONS
%DITOR CONCRETE EDITOR UEA AC UK !NNA 3TEWARD
4HERE ARE MANY PEOPLE WHO COMPLAIN ABOUT THE LACK OF ENTHUSIASM SHOWN BY STUDENTS TOWARDS VOTING (AVING GONE IN TO VOTE TODAY ) COULD SEE WHY SO FEW PEOPLE DO VOTE IN UNION ELECTIONS )T SEEMS YOU HAVE TO BE A LINEMAN FOR THE 5%! 0IRATES TO FORCE YOUR WAY THROUGH THE (IVE TO VOTE 7HO IS IT THAT IS BLOCKING YOUR WAY 4HE CANDIDATES 9OU HAVE TO RUN THE GAUNTLET OF INTIMIDATION AND BRIBERY JUST TO GET TO VOTE .OW ) UNDERSTAND THAT THOSE WHO ARE STANDING WANT TO GET YOU TO VOTE FOR THEM BUT DOES BLOCKING THE DOORS TO THE ,#2 AND FORCING YOU TO LOOK A THEIR LITTLE PIECES OF PAPER REALLY MAKE A DIFFERENCE 4HEN THERE ARE THOSE HANDING OUT SWEETS 4HIS IS AN ELECTION NOT A POPULARITY CONTEST (OW ARE SWEETS IN ANYWAY RELATED TO THE POLICIES THE CANDIDATES ARE STANDING TO REPRESENT ) REALISE THAT NOT ALL THE CANDIDATES HAVE BEEN USING THESE TACTICS ) HAVE SEEN SEVERAL CANDIDATES WANDERING AROUND THE 3QUARE ACTUALLY TALKING TO PEOPLE AND DISCUSSING THEIR POLICIES 4HAT IS WHAT UNION ELECTIONS SHOULD BE ABOUT COMMUNICATING WITH THE STUDENTS AND LETTING THEM DECIDE WITHOUT THE PRESSURES OF CORRUPTION LIKE INTIMIDATION AND BRIBERY ANON
$EAR %DITOR
0LEASE SEND LETTERS TO CONCRETE EDITORIAL
UEA AC UK
5%! "ASKETBALL KNOCKED OUT OF TROPHY SEMI lNAL BY 5%! 5NION 4HE 5%! "ASKETBALL TEAM HAS HAD TO WITHDRAW AT THE SEMI lNAL STAGE OF THE "53! 4ROPHY AFTER THE 5NION REFUSED TO COVER THE COSTS OF THE TEAM TRAVELLING TO 'LASGOW FOR THEIR SEMI lNAL MATCH 4HE TEAM HAS CONSISTENTLY BEEN THE HIGHEST RANKED TEAM AT THE 5NIVERSITY IN TERMS OF LEAGUE PLAY AND HAS QUALIlED FOR THE TROPHY IN EACH OF THE PAST THREE SEASONS 4HIS SEASON HAD BEEN NO DIFFERENT $ESPITE LOSING A LEAGUE DECIDING GAME AGAINST /XFORD "ROOKES IN ITS PENULTIMATE GAME THE TEAM lNISHED JOINT SECOND IN "53! -IDLANDS $IVISION WITH A RECORD AND QUALIlED EASILY FOR THE 4ROPHY KNOCK OUT )N THE lRST ROUND OF THE 4ROPHY MORE THAN mOODED TO THE 3PORTSPARK BALCONIES TO WATCH THE 0ANTHERS SECURE A TENSE VICTORY OVER THE 5NIVERSITY OF "RIGHTON BEHIND POINTS FROM RD YEAR FORWARD !LEX 7ILKINS AND SOME IMMENSE DEFENCE IN THE LAST COUPLE OF MINUTES 4HE QUARTER lNAL WAS AWAY AT 57)# IN #ARDIFF AND THIS IS WHERE THE PROBLEM STARTED 4HE 5NION WAS UNWILLING TO PAY ANY COSTS FOR THE TEAMS TRANSPORT OR ACCOMMODATION FOR THE TRIP 4HIS DECISION WAS MADE BECAUSE THE BASKETBALL TEAM HAD NOT lNISHED IN THE TOP TWO OF ITS LEAGUE IN FACT THEY HAD lNISHED THIRD TO #AMBRIDGE ON THE BASIS THAT #AMBRIDGE HAD BEATEN 5%!
BY lVE MORE POINTS THAN 5%! HAD BEATEN #AMBRIDGE BY IN LEAGUE PLAY (OWEVER THE TEAM DECIDED THAT THEY WERE IN A POSITION TO WIN THE 4ROPHY SO MADE THE DECISION TO GO TO THE GAME 4HIS MEANT PLAYERS ON THE TEAM HAVING TO DRIVE THE MINI BUS ON THE HOUR JOURNEY TO #ARDIFF PAY FOR THE HIRE OF THE BUS THE PETROL AND THE COST OF ACCOMMODATION IN #ARDIFF FOR THE NIGHT BEFORE THE GAME (OWEVER THE TRIP WAS SUCCESSFUL WITH 5%! TRIUMPHING IN AN INCREDIBLE CONTEST IN WHICH THEY CAME BACK FROM POINTS DOWN IN THE lRST HALF AND POINTS GOING INTO THE lNAL QUARTER 4HE TEAM WAS LED BY RD YEAR SWINGMAN !LI -ILLER WITH POINTS WHILST 7ILKINS HAD AND RD YEAR 0RESIDENT AND FORWARD 3HERIF 3ALAAM HAD 4HE SEMI lNAL WAS A FREE DRAW AND UNLUCKILY 5%! DREW 'LASGOW AWAY %VEN THOUGH THE TEAM HAD PROVED TO THE 5NION THAT THEY WERE CAPABLE OF WINNING THE COMPETITION NO FUNDS WERE FORTHCOMING (OWEVER THE BASKETBALL TEAM WERE TOLD THAT IF THEY DID WIN THE SEMI lNAL AND REACH THE lNAL ALL COSTS FROM THE #ARDIFF GAME AND THE 'LASGOW GAME WOULD BE REFUNDED 7HAT PERHAPS WAS MOST TROUBLING FOR THE BASKETBALL TEAM WAS THAT BY NOT GOING TO THE GAME THE 5NION WOULD BE lNED a BY "53! 4HE TEAM
THEREFORE LOGICALLY THOUGHT THAT THAT a COULD BE GIVEN TO THE TEAM TO ENSURE THEY COULD TRAVEL TO 'LASGOW (OWEVER %DDIE 3HIELDS THE 5NION S &INANCE /FlCER DID NOT SEE IT THIS WAY AND REJECTED PLEAS FROM THE TEAM S COMMITTEE 5NFORTUNATELY THE TEAM HAD TO MAKE A DECISION NOT TO GO TO THE GAME AND FORFEIT THE TIE GIVING 'LASGOW A BUY INTO THE lNAL 4HIS WAS NOT A DECISION TAKEN LIGHTLY OUT OF THE NINE MEMBERS OF THE TEAM THAT TRAVELLED lVE WERE lNAL YEAR STUDENTS WHO HAD STARTED ON THE TEAM FOR THE PAST lVE YEARS AND THIS WAS THE CLOSEST THEY HAD COME TO REACHING THE lNAL (OWEVER THIS WAS NOT A SURPRISE TEAM PLAYERS HAD BEEN FORCED TO DRIVE THE MINI BUS TO THREE OUT OF THE lVE AWAY GAMES THEY HAD PLAYED THIS YEAR AND HAD BEEN TOLD GOING INTO THE LEAGUE CLINCHING GAME AGAINST /XFORD "ROOKES THAT IT WOULD BE BETTER FOR THE 5NION IN THE LONG RUN IF THEY DIDN T WIN AND THEREFORE BE ONE GAME AWAY FROM PROMOTION TO THE 0REMIER ,EAGUE NO TEAM AT 5%! AND ONLY lVE OUT OF TEAMS IN "53! LEAGUE ARE IN $IVISION 4HE PLAYERS ON THE TEAM ARE OBVIOUSLY GUTTED AT THE TURN OF EVENTS THIRD YEAR STARTER AND FORMER %NGLAND CAPTAIN AT UNDER LEVEL !LI -ILLER STATED h4O COME ALL THIS WAY TO PUT ALL THE EFFORT INTO
PRACTICE WEEK IN AND WEEK OUT TO PAY ALL THE MONEY WE PAY ;SINCE HIS lRST YEAR SPORTS INSURANCE HAS GONE UP FROM a TO a = TO DRIVE TO GAMES MORE THAN MILES AWAY AND THEN TO BE TOLD THAT THE 5NION YOU RE TRYING TO REPRESENT IS ONLY WILLING TO HELP YOU lNANCIALLY IF YOU REACH THE lNAL IS DEPRESSING 4HIS 5NIVERSITY S SPORTING EFFORTS ARE WOEFUL CONSIDERING THE FACILITIES WE HAVE AND THE MONEY WE PAY COMPARED TO OTHER 5NIVERSITIES AND THEN WE GET A TEAM INTO THE SEMI lNAL OF A MAJOR COMPETITION AND ARE TOLD THAT THEY AREN T EVEN WILLING TO GIVE US MONEY UNLESS WE REACH THE lNAL ) THINK IT S DISGRACEFUL THE LACK OF AMBITION AND DRIVE SHOWN BY THE 5NION IN THIS WHOLE EPISODE HAS BEEN REALLY SADDENING AND ) THINK CERTAIN PEOPLE SHOULD BE ASHAMED v %VEN THOUGH THE 5NION DOES JUSTIFY THE AMOUNT OF MONEY IT TAKES OFF STUDENTS ON THE FACT THAT IT PUMPS LOTS OF MONEY INTO A WIDE VARIETY OF SPORTS IT DOES SEEM STRANGE THAT A 5NIVERSITY WITH THE FACILITIES AVAILABLE IN THE 3PORTSPARK THAT 5%! CAME TH IN "53! OVERALL LAST YEAR 7HAT SEEMS MOST SADDENING IS THAT THE 5NION WOULD RATHER TAKE A lNE AND GIVE ANOTHER UNIVERSITY A BUY INTO A lNAL RATHER THAN SUPPORT ITS OWN "ASKET"ALL 4EAM
3ETTING THE RECORD STRAIGHT CORRECTION TO )SSUE ) HAVE TO PUT A FEW THINGS STRAIGHT ABOUT THE ".0 INTERVIEW AND THE STRANGE HISTORICAL REVISIONISM THAT SEES IT DESCRIBED AS A hFAUX PASv ) DIDN T ACCEPT SUCH A PROPOSITION WHEN DEATH THREATS WERE POURING IN FROM THE !., AND CERTAINLY DON T SEE WHY ANYONE SHOULD NOW 2ACISTS ARE FED BY MYSTERY AND IT S ENTIRELY NECESSARY TO GIVE THEM A BIT OF ROPE OCCASIONALLY IN ORDER THAT THEY CAN HANG THEMSELVES 4HAT S WHAT HAVING A FREE SOCIETY AND PRESS MEANS !ND THAT S EXACTLY
WHAT THE PIECE DID 9ES IT DID FEATURE THE COVER OF THE ".0 MAG WHICH WHERE LEGIBLE CONTAINED EXACTLY THE SAME KIND OF NONSENSICAL RANTING THAT THE ARTICLE SOUGHT TO CRITICISE AND HIGHLIGHT 2EMEMBER THAT MAG WAS LEGALLY PUBLISHED AND THE ".0 IS A LEGAL PARTY 4HE 5NION VERY PREDICTABLY GOT INTO A STATE ABOUT THIS AND CALLED FOR ME TO BE SACKED ALTHOUGH NO ONE EVER SUGGESTED THAT THE ARTICLE WAS ANYTHING OTHER THAN ANTI ".0 !NDY 0OTT WHO HAD BEEN LOOKING FOR ANY EXCUSE TO
REIGN THE PAPER IN PUT IN TRAIN AN ILL CONSIDERED DISCIPLINARY ACTION ) HAD A ROW WITH )AIN 'IBSON ABOUT THE PIECE AT A PUBLIC MEETING &ORTUNATELY THE .5* BACKED US AS DID ANTI RACISM GROUP 3EARCHLIGHT THE 5NIVERSITY IN THE FORM OF !LAN 0REECE AND THEN $EAN OF 3TUDENTS +IFF AND A LOT OF THE LECTURERS ) FORGET HOW MANY SIGNATURES WE GOT ON THE PETITION BUT IT WAS FAIRLY CLEAR THAT STUDENT OPINION WAS ON OUR SIDE )N THE END THE SABBS GOT BORED AND ) MANAGED TO HEAD
0OTTSY OFF BY THREATENING TO LODGE A GRIEVANCE ON THE BASIS THAT HE WAS MY LINE MANAGER AND MY TREATMENT HAD BEEN IN mAGRANT BREACH OF STAFF PROTOCOL )T HAD BECOME ABUNDANTLY CLEAR BY THEN THAT THE EDITOR S JOB WAS ANOMALOUS AND UNSUSTAINABLE IN THE 5NION STRUCTURE SO THE QUESTION WAS WHETHER CONKERS SWITCHED TO BEING A SOCIETY BECAME A TRUST OR WAS TRANSFERRED TO THE 5NIVERSITY 4HAT PARTICULAR PRICKLY IMBRUGLIO ) LEFT IN THE HANDS OF MY ESTEEMED SUCCESSOR *AMES )6 AKA 'ORDON THE 'OPHER
4HE PROOF IS IN THE PUDDING THOUGH ) ENTERED THAT hFAUX PASv ISSUE FOR THE )NDY .53 STUDENT PAPER AWARDS WHICH WE WON AND THE 'UARDIAN AWARDS WHERE WE CAME RUNNER UP )T WAS AN INTERESTING LESSON IN HOW FRAGILE PRESS FREEDOM CAN BE IN THE FACE OF A BAYING MOB !ND ) CAN ASSURE YOU 'IBBO STILL GETS CLOSE SCRUTINY FROM ONE SECTION OF THE LOBBY *AMES 4APSlELD 0OLITICAL #ORRESPONDENT 0! .EWS ,IMITED
30/24
7EDNESDAY TH -ARCH #/.#2%4%
4HE RISE AND RISE OF 5%! CRICKET #IARAN 2OONEY ! STORY OF A CLUB OF SIMPLE GOALS TO OUTPLAY OUT DRINK AND OUT CHANT ANY OPPOSI TION THAT STANDS IN THEIR WAY 4HE TIMING OF THE CRICKET SEASON USUALLY MEANS 5%! ## RECEIVE LITTLE OR NO AT TENTION FROM #ONCRETE THIS COMBINED WITH THE CHANCE OF ONLY PLAYING FOUR COMPETI TIVE OUTDOOR GAMES A SEASON MUCH TO THE AMUSEMENT OF FOOTBALL PLAYING HOUSEMATES WHO ARE PROBABLY CLOSE TO TRI PLE lGURES WHEN IT COMES TO 5%! APPEARANCES HAS MEANT THE RECENT SUCCESS OF 5%! CRICKET IN THE INDOOR FORMAT OF THE GAME HAS GONE UN
NOTICED 4HE TEAM HAS NOW REACHED THE "53! INDOOR lNALS TO BE PLAYED AT ,ORDS PLACING 5%! ## AS ONE OF THE SIX BEST INDOOR TEAMS IN THE COUNTRY 7HEN APPLYING THE AGE OLD SPORT RELATED QUOTE hSTA
TISTICS DO NOT LIEv TO 5%! CRICKET THE RESULT IS AT BEST AVERAGE (AVING NEVER RECORD ED ANY SIGNIlCANT SUCCESSES THE CRICKET CLUB S RESULTS READS LIKE A BI POLAR MANIC DEPRES SANT S MOOD SWINGS !STOUND ING WINS SUCH AS BOWLING OUT
$ERBY FOR AND EMBARRASS ING LOSSES INCLUDING BEING SKITTLED OUT BY #AMBRIDGE FOR ARE JUST TASTERS OF THE EXTREME UNPREDICTABILITY OF 5%! ## OVER RECENT YEARS /LIVER 3TEWARD THE -ICHAEL "REARLEY OF 5%! STEPPED UP TO THE CHALLENGE OF MOULDING A TALENTED TEAM INTO A UNIT THAT HAS SO FAR TAK EN ON ANY TEAM THAT STOOD IN ITS WAY (IS INTELLIGENT STYLE OF CAPTAINCY AND THE DEVEL OPMENT OF hTHE PLANv HAVE PLAYED AN ENORMOUS ROLE IN THE SUCCESSES OF RECENT WEEKS 4URNING PLAYERS INTENT ON SLAPPING THE BALL WITH MINI MUM THOUGHT TO THE APPRO PRIATENESS OF SUCH ACTIONS INTO EFFECTIVE INDOOR PLAYERS ABLE TO ADAPT TO WHAT IS RE
QUIRED TO WIN ANY GAME 4HE ROAD TO ,ORD S WAS NOT EASY FOR 5%! HAVING TO PLAY SOME VERY TALENTED SIDES SUCH AS "RISTOL ,EEDS -ET AND (ERTFORDSHIRE AND CHASING DOWN SOME VERY GOOD SCORES ALONG THE WAY (OWEVER THE PINNACLE THE HIGHLIGHT THE PEAK THE VERY REASON FOR EX ISTENCE CAME FROM THE RESULT AGAINST %SSEX (AVING TO PUT UP WITH ONSLAUGHTS OF BANTER ON THE 5%! V %SSEX $ERBY $AY WALL ON FACEBOOK ABOUT HOW %SSEX WERE GOING TO DE STROY 5%! MEANT THAT THE SIDE TOOK GREAT PLEASURE IN AB SOLUTELY ANNIHILATING THE OVER INmATED EGOS OF %SSEX 5NIVER SITY ## 0UT INTO BAT %SSEX WERE A METAPHORICAL RABBIT CAUGHT IN THE HEADLIGHTS THAT
,ACROSSE WARRIORS
4HE LAST HUZZAH
+ATIE 'REEN
$AN 4UCKER
)T HAS BEEN A TOUGH TWO YEARS FOR THE 5%! WOMEN S LACROSSE TEAM HAVING BEEN KICKED OUT OF "53! IN AND THUS A SERIOUS LACK OF OPPOSITION TO PRACTICE AGAINST (OWEVER WITH EVERY TRAINING SESSION AND EVERY FRIENDLY MATCH THE TEAM HAS IMPROVED AND NOW WITH A TOUR TO $UBLIN IN !PRIL TO WORK TOWARDS THINGS ARE REALLY STARTING TO LOOK UP FOR THE GIRLS /N 3ATURDAY THE TH THE VERY NEWLY ESTABLISHED WOMEN S TEAM FACED THEIR BIGGEST CHALLENGE YET THE !NGLIA #UP 4OURNAMENT (ELD BY .ORWICH (IGH 'IRL S 3CHOOL IT IS A FAIRLY SMALL AN NUAL TOURNAMENT WITH 5%! .ORWICH (IGH .ORWICH ,ADIES AND #AMBRIDGE 5NI VERSITY BATTLING IT OUT FOR THE TROPHY 7ITH THE MAJORITY OF THE TEAM HAVING NEVER PLAYED A WOMEN S GAME BEFORE AND WITH AN INJURED &REYA $OLBY IN GOAL THE ODDS LOOKED STACKED AGAINST 5%! /UR lRST MATCH SAW US FACE A FEISTY .ORWICH (IGH TEAM (OWEVER COMPLETELY UNBEKNOWN TO ME WE HAD PUT OUT A TEAM OF ABSOLUTE WARRIORS 3AMME "ROUGH WAS WILLING TO THROW HERSELF HEADlRST INTO ANY SITUATION AND &AY (ARRIS EMERGED FROM THE GAME TRIUMPHANT HAVING MADE A GIRL CRY AND GAINED A BLACK EYE HERSELF 4HE lNAL SCORE WAS AN INCREDIBLE RESULT AGAINST A TEAM OF GIRLS
)T S THE TH OF -ARCH AND TO MOST OF THE SPORTS TEAMS IT S $ERBY $AY &OR THE 5%! FENCING TEAM IT IS ALSO THE DAY OF THE "53! TROPHY SEMI lNAL MATCH AGAINST THE 5NIVERSITY OF +ENT $UE TO THE FACT THAT IT WAS AN AWAY MATCH AND FOR SOME UNBEKNOWN REASON THE MATCH COULD NOT BEGIN UNTIL THE UNUSUALLY LATE TIME OF PM WE HAD TO lELD A GREATLY WEAKENED TEAM /F THE THREE MAINSTAYS IN THE 5%! MEN S TEAM !DAM &ERGUSON "EN 2ACKHAM AND 3TEVE $OMEK ONLY !DAM &ERGUSON COULD PARTICIPATE 4O lLL THE LARGE VOID CREATED BY "EN AND 3TE VE S ABSENCE -ATT -ATHUR 4OM (AILSTONE AND #LAUDE 4INKER WERE CALLED UP $ESPITE THE BLOW OF NOT BEING ABLE TO lELD OUR BEST TEAM 5%! BOLDLY WENT FORTH 4HE MATCH STARTED SURPRISING LY WELL WITH 5%! ACTUALLY TAK ING AN EARLY LEAD IN THE FOIL ROUND (OWEVER BY THE MID WAY POINT +ENT HAD STRUCK BACK AND HAD TAKEN A REA SONABLE LEAD 4HE TEAM WAS ABLE TO KEEP +ENT HONEST BUT STILL LOST THE ROUND TO .EXT UP WAS THE SABRE ROUND ! WEAPON THE TEAM HAD INITIALLY BEEN FAIRLY CONl DENT ABOUT BEFORE THE MATCH 9ET ON ARRIVAL IN #ANTERBURY IT WAS DISCOVERED THAT +ENT HAD TWO SPECIALIST SABRE PLAYERS WHO FENCED FOR 'REAT "RITAIN WHO THE +ENT TEAM AFFEC
WHO HAVE GROWN UP PLAYING LACROSSE .EXT WE PLAYED #AM BRIDGE 7E KNEW THIS WOULD BE OUR TOUGHEST GAME AS THEY HAD PUT OUT ALMOST A FULL lRST TEAM AND ARE ONE OF THE BETTER LACROSSE UNIVERSITIES #AMBRIDGE USED IMPRESSIVE SET PLAYS BUT WITH THE WAR RIORS STILL GOING STRONG IN DEFENCE AND SOME BRILLIANT SAVES FROM &REYA $OLBY WE MANAGED TO HOLD THEM TO A REALLY IMPRESSIVE SCORE &INALLY WE FACED .OR WICH ,ADIES AND BY NOW THE TEAM HAD SETTLED INTO THEIR POSITIONS WELL 4HE ATTACK SHOWED BRILLIANT DETERMINA TION FROM #HARLIE 4HOMPSON AND ,EILA +ANDOLA WITH FAST BREAKS FROM .IC 3MITH AND A BEAUTIFUL DEBUT GOAL FROM 2ACHEL "AYES 4HIS LEFT THE l NAL SCORE AT AND THE .OR
WICH ,ADIES GOALIE RECEIVED A BONUS HYSTERECTOMY AFTER AN UNFORTUNATELY PLACED SHOT FROM MYSELF 4HIS LEFT US SECOND OVERALL BEHIND #AMBRIDGE WHICH IS AN INCREDIBLE ACHIEVEMENT 5%! WOMEN S LACROSSE HAS MADE A FANTASTIC IMPROVE MENT THANKS TO THE ADDITION OF SOME GUTSY AND VERY ABLE PLAYERS AND EVEN .ORWICH ,ADIES COMMENTED ON HOW FAR THE TEAM HAS COME SINCE WE LAST MET THEM IN A FRIEND LY IN 3EPTEMBER 7ITH ONE MORE FRIENDLY MATCH AND A FEW MORE TRAINING SESSIONS HOPES ARE HIGH FOR $UBLIN FEST 3PECIAL THANKS GO TO THE SUPPORTERS WHOSE ENCOUR AGING CRIES OF hTAKE HER LEGS OUTv AND hSMACK HERv RE ALLY HELPED US TO REACH NEW HEIGHTS
TIONATELY CALLED THE -ONKEY BOYS !NY HOPES OF A RESUR GENCE FROM 5%! WERE ALL BUT CRUSHED AT THIS POINT !S THE -ONKEY BOYS MADE MINCE MEAT OF OUR TEAM AND WENT ON TO WIN THE ROUND TO 7ITH THE OVERALL SCORE AT TO IT WAS ALL BUT MATH EMATICALLY CERTAIN THAT 5%! WERE GOING TO BE KNOCKED OUT 4HE TEAM NEEDED TO WIN THE EPEE TO TO BE ABLE TO WIN $ESPITE THIS THE TEAM MEMBERS WENT OUT AND GAVE IT THEIR ALL #LAUDE FENCING EPEE FOR ONLY HIS RD TIME AND lRST TIME COMPETITIVELY MAN AGED TO GET A COUPLE OF POINTS OFF ANOTHER OF +ENT S INTERNA TIONAL FENCERS WHICH LED TO AN AMUSING BUT SOMEWHAT OVER EXUBERANT CELEBRATION THAT WOULD HAVE DISTURBED SMALL CHILDREN )N SPITE OF THESE HEROIC EFFORTS 5%! LOST THIS ROUND TO TO LEAV ING THE SCORE AT TO 4HE DEFEAT WAS A HARD ONE TO TAKE ESPECIALLY AS IF WE HAD BEEN ABLE TO lELD OUR STRONGEST SIDE WE WOULD HAVE STOOD A VERY GOOD CHANCE OF COMING AWAY THE VICTORS (OWEVER IT WAS NOT TO BE AND +ENT DID HAVE A VERY STRONG TEAM CONSISTING OF INTERNATIONAL QUALITY FENCERS THAT WOULD GIVE ANY TEAM A RUN FOR THEIR MONEY /N REmECTION IT HAS BEEN A GOOD YEAR FOR THE 5%! FENC ING TEAM WITH A RECORD AND PROGRESSION TO THE SEMI lNALS "UT MOST IMPORTANTLY WE DID GIVE BOTH /XFORD AND #AMBRIDGE A JOLLY GOOD POK ING EARLIER THIS YEAR (UZZAH
WAS THE 5%! ## BOWLING AT TACK 5%! PROCEEDED TO BOWL %SSEX OUT FOR WHICH TO PUT IN PERSPECTIVE WAS PROBABLY ONE OF THE LOWEST TOTALS OF THE ENTIRE TOURNAMENT +NOCKING OFF THE RUNS WAS A QUICK AND PAINLESS AFFAIR FOR 5%! /NE CAN NOT EASILY DESCRIBE THE BUS RIDE HOME AND THE NIGHT IN THE ,#2 THAT FOLLOWED BEER WAS SIPPED CHANTS WERE SUNG AND PRAISE WAS GIVEN 5%! ENTER THE NEXT STAGE OF TOURNAMENT ON -ARCH TH AT THE HOME OF CRICKET AGAINST SUCH SIDES AS +ENT %XETER AND ,EEDS -ET )T PROMISES TO BE A TRUE SPECTACLE AND THIS AU THOR CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO DE SCRIBE THE NIGHT THAT WILL FOL LOW IF 5%! ## BECOME "53! INDOOR CHAMPIONS
!MERICAN &OOTBALL !LEX 7ALKER 4HE 0IRATES HAVE A RECORD OF WON LOST AND DRAWN )N #OACH $OUST S lRST YEAR WE HAVE BATTLED WITH THE WEATHER TRANSPORT PROBLEMS AND BAD REFEREEING TO DEVEL OP INTO A COMPETENT OUTlT /UR lRST GAME WAS AT HOME TO +ENT !FTER A BATTLE IN THE TRENCHES IN APPALL ING WEATHER CONDITIONS WE WENT DOWN IN OVER TIME 4HE WEEK AFTER SAW US TRAVEL DOWN TO OUR BELOVED NEIGH BOURS %SSEX WHERE WE LOST TO A WELL DRILLED OUTlT /UR HEADS NEVER DROPPED AND THE SUBSEQUENT WEEKS SAW US BEAT .OTTINGHAM AND THEN ,EICESTER BOTH AT HOME 4HE NEXT TWO GAMES WILL BE REMEMBERED FOR DREADFUL REFEREES !FTER A LONG TRIP TO $ERBY WE WENT DOWN BY ONE POINT LOSING /UR l NAL GAME BEFORE #HRISTMAS WAS AN EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER OF A GAME AS WE LOST TO "IRMINGHAM 4HE YEAR HAS BEEN TOUGH BUT REWARDING ALTHOUGH SADLY THE HEART AND SOUL OF THE TEAM THE /FFENSIVE ,INE WILL ALL BE RETIRING AFTER THIS YEAR 4EAM CAPTAIN !LEX 7ALKER 3WEDISH HARD MAN !LEX 0ASCALL ,ANTZ .ORTH ERN WORRYING WARRIOR ,UKE 'OODERE !MERICAN ALL STAR -ATT &ISHBEIN AND %SSEX RUDE BOY 0ETER *ONES WILL ALL HANG THEIR BOOTS UP
#/.#2%4% 7EDNESDAY TH -ARCH
30/24
$AZZLING $ANCESPORT "ASKETBALL /LIVER #LIFFORD 4ONED TORSOS GLITTERING DRESSES SHARP SUITS AND TWINKLING TOES THIS CAN ONLY BE THE .ORTHERN 5NIVERSITIES $ANCE #OMPETITION 4WO WEEKS AGO SAW OUR VERY OWN h.ORTHERN 5NIVERSITYv TRAV EL UP TO ,EEDS TO DO BATTLE AGAINST THE VERY BEST STUDENT DANCERS IN THE COUNTRY /UR COUPLES COMPETED ACROSS A DIZZYING VARIETY OF DANCES FROM CLASSIC BALLROOM TO OFFBEAT VIA THE EXOTICISM OF ,ATIN !MERICA 4HE START TO THE TOURNA MENT WAS AN EARLY ONE FOR THE TEAM WHO BEGAN THEIR DAY AT THE UNSTUDENT LIKE HOUR OF AM TO TRAVEL THE MANY MILES TO THE COMPETITION 4HE NOVELTY OF AN ON TIME ARRIVAL QUICKLY WORE OFF
AS THE PRELIMINARY ROUNDS WERE ANNOUNCED AND THE lRST FEATHERY FROCKS AND DAP PER TUXES OF THE MORNING WERE UNVEILED %XCITEMENT MOUNTED AS THE lRST DANCE APPROACHED THE AIR WAS THICK WITH GLITTER SPRAY AND THE GIRLS HURRIED TO APPLY THE lN ISHING TOUCHES TO THEIR MAKE UP AND HAIR 4HINK SMOKY EYES FOUNDATION BORDERING ON $UTCH TANGERINE AND EVEN ENOUGH HAIR SPRAY TO KEEP A PUNK BAND ON TOUR #OUPLES COMPETED IN 7ALTZ #HA #HA 1UICKSTEP AND *IVE AT DIFFERENT LEVELS OF EXPERTISE DEPENDING ON THE LENGTH OF TIME THEY HAD BEEN DANCING !LL THE PAIRS RE CEIVED CALL BACKS FOR AT LEAST ONE OF THEIR DANCES WITH NOTABLE COUPLES SUCH AS 5L ISES 2OSAS AND %LENA 2IVILLA 0ETER DE 3ILVA AND 2IMA !S TRAUSKAITE AND TEAM CAPTAIN
4IM 2EGAN AND PARTNER *ESS (ALLYBONE PROGRESSING TO THE LATER ROUNDS 0ARTICULAR CONGRATULA TIONS MUST GO TO 3HAUN 0RICE AND (ANNAH -C0HEE WHO RECEIVED A TH PLACE MEDAL IN THE lNAL OF BEGINNERS #HA #HA BEATING A STAGGERING OTHER HOPEFUL DUOS 4AKING A WELL EARNED BREATHER FROM THEIR MARA THON EVENT THE TEAM WERE TREATED TO A SPECTACULAR PRO FESSIONAL DEMONSTRATION BY !LEX )VANETS AND ,ISA "ELL INGER )VANETS THE CURRENT 5+ #LOSED 0ROFESSIONAL ,ATIN !MERICAN #HAMPIONS 4HE EXUBERANCE AND ATHLETICISM OF THESE TWO CLEARLY SHOWED HOW GIFTED AND DEDICATED YOU HAVE TO BE TO COMPETE IN THESE ARENAS )N A BREAK FROM "ALLROOM AND ,ATIN DANCING THE AT TITUDE PACKED /FFBEAT TEAM
THEN PERFORMED AN ENERGETIC ROUTINE FUSING HIP HOP WITH DYNAMIC PERFORMANCE AS #HICAGO S #ELL "LOCK 4ANGO MET URBAN STREET DANCE 4HEIR h3ON OF A 'UNv ROUTINE EARNED THEM FOURTH PLACE OUT OF EIGHT BEATEN TO A MEDAL POSITION BY -ANCHESTER FOR THE SECOND YEAR RUNNING 4HE lNAL EVENT OF THE DAY THE 4EAM -ATCH SAW A RETURN TO "ALLROOM AND ,ATIN AND A RETURN TO THE QUARTER lNALS FOR OUT OF THE COUPLES 4HE TEAM PERFORMED AD MIRABLY AGAINST SOME TOUGH AND EXPERIENCED RIVALS 3OME EXCELLENT RESULTS SAW 5%! $ANCESPORT RETURN HOME IN GREAT SPIRITS AND FULL OF CONl DENCE FOR THE BIGGEST MEETING OF THE YEAR 4HE "LACKPOOL COMPETITION WILL BE AN EVEN GREATER EVENT FOR 5%! AND WE WISH THEM ALL THE BEST FOR 3UNDAY TH -ARCH
-ARCUS *ONES 4HE BASKETBALL CLUB ARE CUR RENTLY VERY DISSATISlED WITH THEIR TREATMENT BY THE 5NION 4HE TEAM REACHED THE SEMI lNALS OF THE "53! 4ROPHY BUT HAD ALREADY BEEN TOLD THAT THEY WOULD NOT RECEIVE ANY MONEY FROM THE 5NION UNLESS THEY REACHED THE lNAL (AVING ALREADY FUNDED A TRIP TO #ARDIFF THE CLUB WERE UN ABLE TO DO THE SAME FOR THEIR AWAY lXTURE IN 'LASGOW AND AS SUCH COULD NOT FULlL THE lXTURE !LEX 7ILKINS HAS WRITTEN IN MORE DETAIL ON THE LETTERS PAGE BUT #ONCRETE 3PORT THOUGHT IT NECESSARY TO SPEAK TO &INANCE /FlCER %DDIE 3HIELDS TO ASCERTAIN HIS TAKE ON EVENTS (E STRESSED THAT IT HAD BEEN 5NION POLICY FOR
SOME TIME TO ONLY COVER THE COSTS FOR THOSE TEAMS lNISH ING EITHER lRST OR SECOND AND THAT ANYONE ELSE IS EXPECTED TO PAY 4HIS IS PRIMARILY BE CAUSE QUALIlCATION TO "53! KNOCK OUT COMPETITIONS CAN GO TO NEARLY ANYONE hTHE WOMEN S FOOTBALL TEAM lN ISHED lFTH OUT OF SIX IN THEIR LEAGUE THUS GETTING RELEGATED (OWEVER THEY STILL QUALIlED FOR A KNOCK OUT COMPETITION AND THE 5NION CANNOT OFFER TO COVER THE EXPENSES OF ALL THE TEAMS WHO MAY BE IN THIS SITUATION v 3HIELDS ALSO DISAGREED THAT THE 5NION WOULD RATHER TAKE A lNE THAN SUPPORT ITS OWN TEAM 4HE 5NION HAVE CONTACTED "53! CLAIMING THAT THEY SEE NO REASON WHY THEY SHOULD BE FORCED TO PAY A a lNE FOR A COMPETITION THAT "53! THEMSELVES DEEM THAT 5%! SHOULD ENTER
03 0OST 3CHUMACHER &OCUS ON &ENCING *AMES "RINDLE )N RECENT TIMES AN APPROACH ING &ORMULA /NE SEASON HAS NOT BEEN SOMETHING TO GET EXCITED ABOUT 4HE SPORT HAD BECOME INFATUATED WITH SCI
ENCE FORGETTING EXACTLY WHAT MADE IT SUCH GREAT ENTERTAIN MENT .O LONGER WAS IT ABOUT DRIVER SKILL AND INTELLIGENT TEAM TACTICS BUT CHAMPION SHIPS WERE BEING DECIDED BY WHICH TYRE MANUFACTURER GOT IT RIGHT ON RACE WEEKENDS 4HE GOVERNING BODY HAS
STEPS TO LESSEN THE IMPOR TANCE OF THIS AND PUT THE FO CUS BACK ON THE RACING "UT IT IS THE DRIVER LINE UP FOR THIS SEASON THAT MAKES THE RETURN OF & TO OUR SCREENS HARD TO IGNORE FOR A CHANGE -C#LAREN ONE OF THE SPORT S MOST SUCCESSFUL TEAMS HAS AS ITS DRIVING PARTNERSHIP 7ORLD #HAMPION &ERNANDO !LONSO AND YOUNG "RITISH TALENT ,EWIS (AMILTON 4HE -C#LAREN TEAM HAVE BEEN THREATENING TO BREAK UP THE &ERRARI 2ENAULT DUEL IN THE CONSTRUCTOR S CHAMPIONSHIP AND NOW APPEAR TO HAVE THE RELIABILITY TO MATCH THE ABIL ITY OF THEIR DRIVERS )T S NOT JUST THE EMER GENCE OF A NEW "RITISH HOPE THAT IS MAKING &ORMULA /NE EXCITING AGAIN /VER THE LAST FEW SEASONS THE DOMINANCE OF &ERRARI THAT PLAGUED THE SPORT FOR A DECADE HAS COME TO AN END WITH 2ENAULT EMERGING AS A POWERFUL RIVAL ,AST SEASON SAW THE BEST TITLE RACE OF RECENT YEARS WITH THE OLD MASTER -ICHAEL 3CHU MACHER PUSHING THE NEW MASTER !LONSO ALL THE WAY TO A GRIPPING lNISH !LONSO HAS THE ABILITY TO MATCH THE IN CREDIBLE ACHIEVEMENTS OF THE MAN WHOSE THRONE HE HAS USURPED 4HIS SEASON IS THE lRST OF THE POST 3CHUMACHER ERA TO MANY A CAUSE OF MUCH DELIGHT AND IS SET TO BE ONE TO REMEMBER
$AN 4UCKER &ENCING NOT TO BE MISTAKEN WITH THE PROCESS OF ERECTING FENCES HAS BEEN IN EXIST ENCE FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS 4HE lRST RECORD OF THE SPORT ACTUALLY DATES FROM AP PROXIMATELY "# (OW EVER FENCING AS WE KNOW IT lRST CAME INTO EXISTENCE IN EITHER THE TH OR TH CEN TURY "OTH )TALY AND 'ERMANY HAVE LAID CLAIM TO THE CREA TION OF THE SPORT YET MOST OF THE POSITIONS AND MOVES SEEN IN A FENCING MATCH WERE NAMED BY (ENRI 3AINT $IDI ER A &RENCHMAN IN THE S 4YPICALLY A SPORT OF RICH NOBLEMEN THE TH TO TH CENTURY SAW A LARGE RISE IN THE POPULARITY OF THE SPORT AND SWORD lGHTS WERE COM MON "OUTS COULD OFTEN BE BLOODY AND SOMETIMES FA TAL IN FACT IN THE TH CEN TURY MORE NOBLEMEN WERE KILLED DUELING THAN IN WAR 4HE TH CENTURY SAW MA JOR CHANGES TO THE SPORT THE MOST IMPORTANT PROBABLY BEING THE INTRODUCTION OF THE FACE MASK AND THE DEVEL OPMENT OF NON FATAL TECH NIQUES AND STRATEGIES THAT ULTIMATELY LED TO THE SPORT BECOMING A SAFE ACTIVITY /RIGINALLY A VARIETY OF WEAPONS COULD BE USED TO FENCE WITH 4HESE INCLUDED
WEAPONS SUCH AS SINGLESTICKS QUARTERSTAFFS BACKSWORDS AND EVEN MACES 4ODAY HOW EVER THERE ARE JUST THREE DIF FERENT WEAPONS EPEE FOIL AND SABRE EACH WITH THEIR OWN DIFFERENT SET OF RULES 4HE EPEE AN EVOLUTION OF THE OLD FASHIONED RAPIER IS A STABBING WEAPON IE YOU USE THE POINTY BIT 4HE TARGET AREA IN AN EPEE DUEL ENCOM PASSES THE ENTIRE BODY WHILE IN FOIL A SIMILAR BUT MUCH LIGHTER VERSION OF AN EPEE ONLY THE TORSO IS A TARGET 4HE SABRE IS A VERY DIFFERENT WEAPON BASED ON THE /RI ENTAL SCIMITAR IT IS A SLASHING WEAPON SO YOU CAN HIT BOTH WITH THE SIDE OF THE BLADE AND THE POINT 4HE TARGET AREA FOR SABRE IS ANYWHERE ABOVE THE WAIST 4HIS IS IMPORTANT TO NOTE FOR MALE COMPETI
TORS AS IT IS ACTUALLY THE ONLY WEAPON WHERE YOUR BALLS ARE NOT PART OF THE TARGET AREA 3CORING FOR FENCING IS A TRICKY PROCESS AND INVOLVES RULES THAT DETERMINE A lGHT ERS hRIGHT OF WAYv 4HE AD VENT OF ELECTRICITY HAS AIDED THE PROCESS SOMEWHAT AS ELECTRICAL EQUIPMENT IS NOW USED TO HELP DETERMINE WHO LANDED A HIT lRST (OWEVER DECISIONS ESPECIALLY IN TIGHT "53! MATCHES ARE OFTEN SUBJECT TO MUCH CONTROVERSY 4ODAY FENCING IS BECOMING AN INCREASINGLY POPULAR SPORT AMONG THE PROLETARIAT HECK THEY LET ME DO IT AND ) DRINK CIDER 3O IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO COME AND WATCH WE HAVE TRAINING ON -ONDAYS FROM TILL AND MAYBE NEXT YEAR YOU CAN JOIN US BY SIGNING UP AT 3PORTSMART
30/24 -EN S 4ENNIS
7ON
!FTER WHAT HAS BEEN A DISAPPOINT ING SEA SON FOR 5%! MEN S TENNIS CONSIDERING THE INm UX OF TALENTED FRESHERS AT OUR DIS POSAL WE WERE DETERMINED TO MAKE AMENDS ON $ERBY $AY BY HANDING %SSEX A THOROUGH POUNDING !ND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT WE DID &IELDING A FULL STRENGTH TEAM OF !NDY *ONES 2YAN #HINN 3EVERIN -ULLER 2IEMEN SCHNEIDER AND $AVE &OULIS 5%! TENNIS WERE POISED TO CONTRIBUTE TO A SUCCESSFUL $ERBY $AY VICTORY !NDY *ONES AND 2YAN #HINN l RST AND SECOND
SEEDS RESPECTIVELY GAVE 5%! AN IMMEDIATE ADVANTAGE BOTH WINNING 3EV ERIN @4HE -ACHINE -ULLER 2IEMENSCHNEIDER WRAPPED UP THE VICTORY WITH A WIN IN ABOUT MIN UTES LEAVING HIS OPPONENT LOOKING DEMORALISED AND COMPLETELY EMBARRASSED $AVE &OULIS AS USUAL THE LAST TO l NISH EVENTU ALLY CAME THOUGH AFTER BATTLING THE TRADITIONAL @3KOOL $AZE HANGOVER 4HE DAY WAS CAPPED OFF WITH THE DOUBLES BOTH GOING IN 5%! S FAVOUR WITH -IKE 4UCKER AND -ATT (OBSON COMING IN FOR 3EVERIN $AVE TO ENSURE ANOTHER VIC TORY &INAL SCORE 5%! -ENS n %SSEX -ENS
-EN S &OOTBALL !FTER A NOT SO RIVETING SEASON FOR THE MEN S FOOTBALL ST 8) EXITING THE *UNIOR #UP AT A CRU CIAL STAGE AND SUSTAINING THEIR POSITION IN "53! $ERBY $AY ALLOWED ONE LAST CHANCE FOR THE PLAYERS TO HAVE FUN AND MAYBE GET A WIN AGAINST %SSEX 5%! DOMINATED THE l RST HALF AND .ICK 9OUNG CAME CLOSEST TO SCOR ING WHEN HIS SUCCULENT LOB OVER THE KEEPER WAS CLEARED OFF THE LINE $E SPITE THIS DOMINATION %S SEX WERE l RST TO GET ON THE SCORE SHEET ! THROUGH BALL WAS NOT CLEARED AND THEIR PACEY STRIKER SLOTTED PAST KEEPER !LEX 0OLEMETIS $E SPITE CONCEDING 5%! CON TINUED TO PRESSURISE %SSEX AND MINUTES BEFORE THE BREAK THEY WERE REWARDED AS A FRESHER COMBINATION OF *OSH (ULL SQUARING TO STRIKER 3COTT (OLIDAY LEV ELLED THE SCORE LINE %SSEX WENT AHEAD AGAIN IN THE SECOND HALF BUT 5%! BATTLED BACK AND IT WAS AGAIN *OSH (ULL WHO SUPPLIED THE BALL FOR .ICK 9OUNG TO l NISH IMPRES SIVELY 7ITH THE GAME AT THE l NAL WHISTLE IT WAS DE CIDED A DRAW WAS NOT AN OPTION AND THE CAPTAINS AGREED ON A PENALTY SHOOT OUT "OTH SIDES SCORED OUT OF THANKS TO A SU PER SAVE FROM MAN OF THE MATCH !LEX 0OLEMITIS 5%! MISSED THEIR TH AND %S SEX S VERY OWN VERSION OF 0AUL 3CHOLES WHO RECEIVED MINUTES OF BANTER FROM AN ARRAY OF 5%! STUDENTS EVER SO l TTINGLY SCORED HIS PENALTY TO WIN IT
#RICKET
7ON 7OMEN S RUGBY
7ON
7 O M E N S 2 U G B Y SENT %SSEX P A C K I N G LAST WEEK AFTER A TIGHT VICTORY PROVED $ERBY $AY PREDICTIONS RIGHT )T WAS ANOTHER BATTLE BETWEEN BRAINS AND BRAWN OF WHICH 5%! CAME OUT ON TOP WITH THE SPEEDIER RUN NERS DESPITE A TOUGH %SSEX DEFENCE 1UICK BALL WAS ESSENTIAL TO UNLEASH THE
BACKS AND EVENTUALLY THE TACTIC PAID OFF EARLY IN THE SECOND HALF WHEN 2ASHIDA "ELL SCORED IN THE CORNER ! SCARE FOR 5%! CAME LATE IN THE SECOND HALF AFTER A SERIES OF INJURIES WHEN THE %SSEX m Y HALF WENT OVER &ULL BACK EXTRAORDI NAIRE $AVINA 7ILSON HELD IT UP ON THE LINE TO SECURE THE VICTORY FOR THE HOME SIDE )T WOULD BE FAIR TO SAY POST MATCH ACTION REm ECT ED THE 5%! WIN
$ERBY $AY
,OST
4HE $ERBY $AY FEATURE WAS PUT TOGETHER WITH THE HELP OF *EMMA 4HAKE "HAVIK 4HAKRAR #HRIS (OMES $AVE &OULIS *ULIE 0RICE #I ARAN 2OONEY .ICK 'ASKELL *OHN -UTCH AND 3AM 7ILSON 0HOTOS ARE ALL COURTESY OF 0HIL "ANKS
"OXING
7ON
/N $ERBY $AY 5%! BOXERS COM PETED FOR THE l RST TIME IN A UNIVERSITY BOXING SPAR 5%! HAD l VE MEN l GHT AGAINST AN %SSEX SQUAD THAT HAD BEEN TRAIN ING HARD FOR MONTHS (OW EVER THE 5%! SQUAD SHOWED GREAT DISCIPLINE POISE COM MITMENT AND m AIR TO SECURE A WIN #LUB 0RESIDENT AND LIGHTWEIGHT BOXER 3TEVE 0ARSONS SHOWED SKILL AND DETERMINATION IN THE l RST
-EN S 2UGBY
7ON
4HE SUCCESS FUL END TO THE SEASON PLACED 5%! 2&# MEN S ST 86 IN GREAT CONl DENCE GO ING IN TO THE $ERBY $AY l XTURE &ROM THE KICK OFF THE GAME WAS CHARACTERISED BY ITS PHYSICALITY AND WHAT SEEMED FAIRLY MATCHED TEAMS !S THE l RST HALF WENT ON 5%! CAPITALISED ON SEV ERAL MISTAKES TO TAKE TWO PENALTIES AND LEAD THE GAME n %SSEX REPLIED QUICKLY WITH A TRY ON THE BRINK OF THE HALF TO BRING THE SCORE TO n AT THE BREAK
7EDNESDAY TH -ARCH #/.#2%4%
5%! ## WENT INTO THEIR GAME WITH %S SEX WITH AN INDESCRIBABLE AMOUNT OF CONl DENCE AF TER SOUNDLY BEATING THEM THE WEEKEND PREVIOUS TO $ERBY $AY 0UT INTO BAT THEY GOT OFF TO A BAD START LOSING 2OONEY WITHIN THE l RST OVER (OWEVER FROM THEN ON THEIR BATTING WENT FROM STRENGTH TO STRENGTH ! GOOD COMBINATION OF AG GRESSION AND SKILL ALLOWED 5%! TO POST A LARGE SCORE OF WITH "UDDEN SCOR ING AND 4HORNE %SSEX GOT OFF TO A GOOD START SCORING WELL AT THE BEGINNING (OWEVER A GOOD BOWLING SPELL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE INNINGS FROM 5%! TOOK THE GAME AWAY FROM %SSEX 3HARP CATCHES AND A GOOD RUN OUT HINDERED ANY CHANCE %SSEX HAD OF CHASING DOWN THE LARGE TOTAL
l GHT BUT COULD NOT STOP A MORE EXPERIENCED %SSEX BOXER /THER NOTABLE PER FORMANCES FROM +ARL (EM INGWAY *IM -ORRIS AND *OE 'LACKIN ALTHOUGH *OE LOST A HARD FOUGHT SPAR MADE THE SCORE EQUAL AFTER FOUR BOUTS 4HANKFULLY TEAM CAPTAIN *ASON ,INCOLN WON THE l NAL BOUT OF THE DAY AS HE OUTCLASSED THE %SSEX MID DLEWEIGHT /VERALL IT WAS A GREAT ACHIEVEMENT FOR A CLUB THAT WAS ESTABLISHED JUST l VE MONTHS AGO AND THE FUTURE DEl NITELY SEEMS BRIGHT FOR THE CLUB
4HE ND HALF STARTED WITH THE SAME TENACITY AS THE ST AND AT ONE POINT THE AGGRESSION BROKE OUT INTO A LARGE l GHT 5%! UTI LISED THEIR MAJORITY OF POS SESSION TO KEEP %SSEX FROM SCORING !S THE LAST QUARTER OF THE MATCH APPROACHED 5%! BROKE THE %SSEX LINE IN THE FAR CORNER WITH A TRY FROM WINGER #HRIS "ATES TO EXTEND THEIR LEAD TO n 4HE REMAINDER OF THE GAME SAW 5%! DEFENDING RELENT LESSLY FOR THE WIN THE WHIS TLE l NALLY BLOWING TO BRING AN END TO THE HARD FOUGHT GAME WHICH 5%! WON DE SERVEDLY
$EPUTY 3PORT %DITOR S COLUMN 0OTTY h3O WHAT +ORFBALL S NOT EVEN A REAL SPORT v 4HESE ARE THE REPORTED COMMENTS MADE BY THE 5NION 'ENERAL -ANAGER !NDY 0OTT WHEN PRESENTED WITH THE "53! TROPHY BY THE +ORFBALL TEAM FOR THE THIRD CONSECUTIVE YEAR 3UCH A SHARP DISMISSAL OF WHAT IS AN INCREDIBLE ACHIEVEMENT DOES NOT EX ACTLY ENCOURAGE ANY REPEAT PERFORMANCES )T SEEMS THAT HE NEEDS TO BE REMINDED THAT IT IS THE SUCCESS OF @MINOR ITY SPORTS SUCH AS +ORFBALL AND &ENCING WHICH ACTUALLY EARNS 5%! ANY FORM OF REA SONABLE FUNDING FROM "53! IN THE l RST PLACE 7HAT WITH THE LACK OF FUNDING AVAIL ABLE FOR THE "ASKETBALL TEAM IT APPEARS THAT THE 5NION IS ACTUALLY ACTIVELY DISCOURAG ING ANY SPORTING SUCCESS OUR RATHER SMALL UNIVERSITY MAY HAVE
) DON T LIKE #RICKETx x) LOVE IT )T SEEMS THAT FATE IS HELL BENT ON PREVENTING SPORTS FANS FROM DOING ANY COURSEWORK REVISION AT ALL AS THE #RICKET 7ORLD #UP IS WELL UNDERWAY &INGERS CROSSED THAT 6AUGHAN STAYS l T AND %NGLAND DON T DO AN %NGLAND AND LOOSE TO #ANADA $ESPITE !USTRALIA S DOMI NANCE AND 3OUTH !FRICA S WORLD RANKING ) FANCY 3RI ,ANKA TO MAKE A SNEAKY RUN TO THE l NAL ) AM ALSO HOPING TO SEE THAT BEEFY "ERMUDAN POLICEMAN PRODUCE ANOTHER EARTH SHATTERING PERFORM ANCE
7OMEN S FOOTBALL
7ON
( U N G R Y FOR SUCCESS AFTER A DIS APPOINTING SEASON AND DIS PLAYING ALL THE ENTHUSIASM OF $ERBY $AY 5%! WALKED TO A VICTORY %SSEX FAILED TO MATCH THE DESIRE SHOWN BY THE 5%! WOMEN AND LOOKED DOOMED FROM THE OUTSET WITH ONLY PLAYERS ON THE l ELD )NDEED IT WAS NOT LONG BEFORE 5%! CAPITAL ISED WITH TWO GOALS COM ING IN THE OPENING TWENTY MINUTES )MPRESSIVE l NISHING MEANT .ATALIE *ANUARY STOLE THE SHOW IN THE l NAL THIRD
OF THE l ELD BAGGING ALL FOUR GOALS WITH THE CHANCE FOR A l FTH HAD APPEALS FOR A PEN ALTY NOT BEEN DISMISSED 4HOUGH A FAIR REm EC TION OF THE PLAY THE SCORE LINE COULD HAVE BEEN MORE IMPRESSIVE HAD 5%! NOT MISSED A HATFUL OF BECKON ING CHANCES %SSEX S FAILURE TO FRONT A PURPOSEFUL ATTACK MEANT 5%! S DEFENCE WAS LEFT LARGE LY UNTESTED n ANY SPARKS OF AN ATTACK WERE SOON EXTIN GUISHED 4HE REAL BATTLE LAY IN MIDl ELD HOWEVER WITH 5%! GRINDING OUT VICTORY THROUGH A HARD FOUGHT AND GRITTY EXHIBITION
3UMMERTIME AND THE LIVING IS EASY &INALLY IT APPEARS THAT THE SHACKLES OF WINTER HAVE BEEN SHAKEN OFF AS THE MA JORITY OF US HAVE DUSTED THE COBWEBS OFF OUR SHORTS AND PARTAKEN IN AN ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE IN THE SQUARE "UT THIS ALSO MEANS THAT A SUM MER OF SPORT IS ABOUT TO SPRING INTO LIFE &ROM JUMP ERS FOR GOALPOSTS AND SHOUTS OF hNEXT GOAL WINS v IN AF TERNOON KICK ABOUTS TO THE MASS @-URRAYMANIA THAT WILL SURELY DOMINATE 7IMBLEDON THIS YEAR )T S ENOUGH TO MAKE ANYONE RUN TO THE TOILET IN EXCITEMENT ) KNOW THAT ) HAVE MY HAT FOR !SCOTx
#/.#2%4% 7EDNESDAY TH -ARCH
%ASY EASY EASY
5%! %SSEX
%AST !NGLIA AVENGE LAST YEAR S DEFEAT BY THRASHING %SSEX NEIGHBOURS (OCKEY
7ON
4HE MEN S HOCKEY PRO DUCED A THRILLING GOAL GAME FULL OF TWISTS IN WHICH %SSEX GRABBED A LAST MINUTE WONDER GOAL TO MAKE HONOURS EVEN AT 5%! LOOKED AS THOUGH THEY WERE GOING TO RUN AWAY WITH IT HAVING ACQUIRED A COMFORTABLE LEAD IN THE lRST TEN MINUTES *AMES (UGHES ROUNDED THE KEEPER TO OPEN THE SCORING BEFORE
!NDY -ORGAN SCORED FROM A SHORT CORNER AND LATER GOT A SECOND HOOKING THE BALL IN ON HIS REVERSE STICK %SSEX GOT A GOAL BACK BEFORE HALF TIME MAKING THE SCORE )N THE SECOND HALF %SSEX GRABBED TWO GOALS DESPITE SOME EXCELLENT SAVES FROM KEEPER 'EORGE 0ERRY WHO PLAYED WELL THROUGHOUT 5%! REGAINED THE LEAD FROM A CONlDENTLY CONVERTED PEN ALTY STROKE BY #HARLIE -ACK %SSEX RESPONDED AGAIN WITH ANOTHER EQUALISER BUT IT LOOKED AS IF 4IM / 3ULLIVAN
HAD GOT THE WIN FOR 5%! WHEN HE mICKED IN FROM A BALL HIT INTO THE CIRCLE (OWEVER IT WAS NOT TO BE AS IN THE DYING SECONDS OF THE MATCH THE BALL WAS RImED HOME BY AN %SSEX ATTACKER ON HIS REVERSE STICK FROM THE TOP LEFT OF THE CIRCLE 4HE LADIES PRODUCED A ROUT AGAINST A MEAGRE %S SEX TEAM RUNNING OUT WINNERS 4HE LADIES WERE CONSISTENT THROUGHOUT AND GOOD PASSING AND CLINI CAL lNISHING PROVED VITAL (IGHLIGHTS INCLUDED THE
PERFORMANCES OF %ILBHE 7HELAN *ULIE -C2ANN AND ,UCY "AKER -C2ANN SCORED A BRILLIANT INDIVIDUAL GOAL WHEN SHE DRIBBLED DOWN THE LINE CUT INSIDE AND SHOT INTO THE TOP CORNER "AKER S SKILLS IN FRONT OF GOAL ALSO PROVED TO BE VITAL AS SHE POUNCED AFTER SAVES FROM THE KEEPER TO SCORE AT VARI OUS POINTS IN THE GAME 4HE GAME WAS WRAPPED UP AFTER -EGAN SHOWED GOOD STICK SKILLS AND CLOSE CONTROL SCORING 5%! S EIGHTH GOAL
!THLETICS
7ON
4HE 5%! ! T H L E T I C S TEAM EN JOYED COM PLETE DOMINATION AT THEIR $ERBY $AY CLASH WITH %SSEX WINNING TO !THLETES OF THE MATCH WERE UNDOUBTEDLY #HRIS -ARWOOD *OHNSON AND #ATHERINE (OLDSWORTH *OHNSON LOOKED EFFORTLESS IN THE M BEATING FORMER "53! MEDALLIST 2OBBIE 3MITH FROM %SSEX INTO SEC OND '" INTERNATIONAL ATH
LETE (OLDSWORTH GAVE EVE RYONE A MASTER CLASS IN LONG JUMP AND SHOT WINNING WITH M AND M RE SPECTIVELY /THER NOTABLE PER FORMANCES CAME FROM 7ILL 'REAVES WHO UNLEASHED A M LEAP TO TRIUMPH IN THE LONG JUMP )N THE WOM EN S M +AYLA +ALLINIKOU AND #HLOE 6AN 7ULVEN EN JOYED A ONE TWO FOR 5%! WITH TIMES OF S AND S -EANWHILE 0RESIDENT 3TEFANIE 2IPLEY RAN A STORM ING M TO EQUAL HER 0" AND lNISH THIRD
4HREE "53! TRIUMPHS IN A ROW FOR +ORFBALL $ANNY 4HOMAS 4HE WEEKEND OF -ARCH RD TH HOSTED THE ANNUAL "53! +ORFBALL .ATIONALS .OTTINGHAM SET THE SCENE AS 5%! ATTEMPTED TO REGAIN THEIR CROWN (OWEVER THIS TIME ROUND THEY ENTERED AS UNDERDOGS WITH THE MAJOR ITY OF PREDICTIONS POINTING TOWARDS 3HEFFIELD 5NIVERSITY WITH A FEW TIPS FOR HOSTS .OTTINGHAM AND 3OUTHERN #HAMPIONS /XFORD $ECEMBER S DRAW HAND ED 5%! A FAVOURABLE GROUP ALONGSIDE ,ANCASTER +ENT AND %DINBURGH 4HEY PUT ASIDE ANY OPENING GAME NERVES BY BREEZING PAST ,ANCASTER (OWEVER THEIR SECOND GAME WOULD PROVE A FAR STERNER TASK AS THEY WERE PIT TED AGAINST LAST YEAR S SILVER MEDALLISTS %DINBURGH )T WAS THE 3COTTISH SIDE WHO WERE QUICKER OUT OF THE BLOCKS OPENING UP A TWO GOAL LEAD
4WO QUICK GOALS FOR 5%! LEV ELLED THE SCORE AT WHERE IT STAYED UNTIL THE FINAL WHIS TLE 4HE RESULT MEANT THAT THE POSITION AT THE TOP OF THE GROUP WOULD ALMOST CER TAINLY BE DECIDED ON GOAL DIFFERENCE )F 5%! DEFEATED +ENT WITHIN GOALS OF THE MARGIN OF VICTORY %DINBURGH WOULD INFLICT ON ,ANCASTER THEY WOULD QUALIFY AS GROUP WINNERS AND AVOID /XFORD IN THE QUARTER FINAL !S IT TRAN SPIRED 5%! S VICTORY WAS JUST ENOUGH 4HEY FINISHED AHEAD OF %DINBURGH BY A SIN GLE GOAL 4HE QUARTER FINAL SAW 5%! LINING UP AGAINST ,EEDS A TEAM WHO SURPRISED MANY BY PROGRESSING FROM THEIR GROUP (OWEVER 5%! WERE TAKING NOTHING FOR GRANTED AGAINST A TEAM BOASTING A CORE OF PLAYERS WHO HAD BEEN PLAYING ALONGSIDE ONE ANOTHER FOR SEVERAL YEARS !FTER A TOUGH HARD FOUGHT AND SCRAPPY ENCOUNTER 5%! AVOIDED AN UPSET TO SECURE
VICTORY BY THE NARROWEST OF MARGINS 4HEIR QUARTER FINAL SUCCESS MEANT THAT THEY WOULD BE ONE OF ONLY FOUR TEAMS STILL IN THE HUNT FOR "53! MEDALS COME THE TOUR NAMENT S SECOND DAY .OTTINGHAM WERE THE SIDE WHO STOOD IN THE WAY OF 5%! AND A FIFTH CONSECU TIVE "53! &INAL 4HE HOSTS HAD TAKEN UPON THE MANTLE OF BEING TOURNAMENT FAVOUR ITES HAVING KNOCKED OUT THE PRE TOURNAMENT HOT TIP 3HEFFIELD 5NIVERSITY )T WAS A GAME THAT 5%! HAD TO BE AT THEIR VERY BEST IF THEY WERE TO PROGRESS WITH OPPONENTS .OTTINGHAM BOASTING TWO GIRLS WHO PLAYED WEEK IN WEEK OUT IN THE .ATIONAL 0REMIER ,EAGUE !T THEIR BEST THEY WERE AND AFTER THE GAME ENDED AT 5%! HELD THEIR NERVE TO PROGRESS VIA A PEN ALTY SHOOTOUT 4HE FINAL SAW A REPEAT OF THE .ATIONALS FINAL 5%! VS 3HEFFIELD (ALLAM IN WHICH THE LATTER WERE VICTORI
OUS 5%! WERE EAGER NOT TO LET HISTORY REPEAT ITSELF 4HE REIGNING CHAMPIONS START ED NERVOUSLY AND QUICKLY ALLOWED (ALLAM A ONE GOAL LEAD ! QUICK REPLY SAW 5%! LEVEL AT STARTING A TREND THAT CONTINUED THROUGHOUT THE GAME (ALLAM TAKE THE LEAD 5%! EQUALISE 4HE
MOST DRAMATIC EXAMPLE OF THIS CAME IN THE GAME S LAST TWO MINUTES !T (ALLAM SUNK WHAT EVERYONE ASSUMED WOULD BE THE WINNER WITH BARELY MORE THAN A MINUTE LEFT ON THE CLOCK (OWEVER WITH SCARCELY SECONDS TO GO 5%! SANK A RUNNING IN SHOT TO ENSURE THE TIE WAS DECIDED
BY PENALTIES /NCE MORE 5%! HELD THEIR BOTTLE WINNING THE SHOOTOUT WITH THEIR TH TAKER EVEN NEEDED TO CONVERT 4HEIR PENALTY SHOOTOUT VICTORY ENSURED 5%! BECAME THE FIRST EVER TEAM TO WIN THREE +ORFBALL "53! TITLES NEVER MIND THREE CONSECU TIVE .ATIONAL TRIUMPHS