Concrete - Issue 211 by Concrete - the official student newspaper of UEA.

" , / 4UESDAY TH *ANUARY WWW CONCRETE ONLINE CO UK )SSUE

The Â Late Â Shift Â @ Â The Â Library Library Â to Â trial Â later Â opening Â hours Â for Â this Â semester News, Â p. Â 2

CHRISTMAS Â FLOOD Â IN Â ARTS

!N APPLE A DAY 7HATgS YOUR .EW 9EARgS RESOLUTION P

-ARCUS *ONES %DITOR /VER THE #HRISTMAS PERIOD THE !RTS TEACHING BLOCK SUFFERED FLOODING AS A RESULT OF A BURST RA DIATOR PIPE %LECTRICAL EQUIPMENT INCLUDING A NUMBER OF COMPUT ERS AS WELL AS SIGNIFICANT SECTIONS OF CARPET WERE ALL DESTROYED AS A CONSEQUENCE 4HE RADIATOR IS BELIEVED TO HAVE BURST AT SOME POINT OVER THE WEEKEND OF $ECEMBER TH WHEN THE BUILDING WAS EMPTY BECAUSE OF THE FESTIVE BREAK 5%! 3ECURITY INFORMED THE %STATES $IVISION OF THE LEAK ON -ONDAY ST AND !N DREW 7ATTS A 4EAM ,EADER IN THE %STATES AND "UILDING $IVISION DESCRIBED THE INITIAL DAMAGE TO #ONCRETE h4HE WATER WAS ABOUT AN INCH DEEP AND IT WAS OBVI OUSLY HOT TREATED WATER FROM THE HEATING SYSTEM 4HE WATER AFFECT ED THE COMPUTER LABS ON FLOOR OF THE !RTS BUILDING AND CASCADED DOWN TO FLOOR AND AFFECT ING THE ).4/ OFFICES AND THE FILM ARCHIVE v 2OGER &EW FROM THE /VERSEAS $EVELOPMENT 'ROUP WHO CAME INTO WORK ON THE -ONDAY WAS ALSO A WITNESS TO THE FLOOD AT ITS PEAK h) CAME IN ON .EW 9EAR S %VE THROUGH THE BACK ENTRANCE OF !RTS NEAR THE %AST !NGLIAN AR CHIVE ) NOTICED WATER COMING DOWN THE STEPS AND WATER COMING OUT THROUGH THE DOORS AND A FEW HOURS LATER WHEN ) LEFT THE CARPETS WERE SODDEN v (OWEVER AS SOME ONE WHO ACTUALLY LOOKS INTO FLOOD HAZARDS IN DEVELOPING COUNTRIES HE DID CONCEDE THAT HE HAS hA SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT DEFINITION OF A @FLOOD TO WHAT HAPPENED HERE v !LTHOUGH NOT DEVASTATING THE WATER DID STILL HAVE AN EFFECT h4HERE WAS EXTENSIVE DAMAGE TO CARPETS AND COMPUTERS AND WE HAD TO LOSE SOME ELECTRICAL EQUIP

&EATURES

3TUDENT STABBED !TTACKS ON STUDENTS MAR THE #HRISTMAS BREAK P &OC 3OC

"RIE LLIANT 7EgRE INTRODUCED TO THE #HEESE AND 7INE SOCIETY P -ARCUS *ONES

MENT v CONFIRMED -R 7ATTS h/N -ONDAY ; ST= WE ISOLATED IT ;THE FLOOD= AND DID AN INITIAL CLEAR UP /N 7EDNESDAY ND WE DID A MA JOR CLEAR UP AND DISPOSED OF THE RUINED STUFF v 4HE FLOODING CAME AT A PAR TICULARLY INOPPORTUNE TIME FOR THE ).4/ SCHOOL WHOSE ADMIN

ISTRATION OFFICES ARE BASED IN THE BUILDING ! WHOLE NEW INTAKE OF STUDENTS ARRIVING FOR THE NEW SE MESTER REQUIRED REGISTERING FROM THE START OF *ANUARY -R 7ATTS HOWEVER WAS CONFI DENT THAT THE !RTS TEACHING BLOCK WOULD BE FUNCTIONING FOR THE START OF THE NEW SEMESTER h7E HAD CAR

PETS BACK IN BY 4UESDAY TH AND WE RE JUST FINALISING ONE ELECTRICAL UNIT BUT OTHER THAN THAT EVERY THING IS READY FOR THE STUDENTS v h7E RE PLEASED WITH HOW THE CLEAR UP WENT NO MATTER HOW MUCH MAINTENANCE WE DO

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-OB RULE 4HE %VENT LOOKS AT 'ANGSTER l LMS AND MEETS CAST MEMBERS FROM THE 2OYAL 3HAKESPEARE #OMPANY 4HE %VENT

" , / 4UESDAY TH *ANUARY 7-

WWW CONCRETE ONLINE CO UK

Editor’s Column Libary to open 6 0EOPLE SHOULD NOT BE AFRAID OF THEIR GOVERNMENTS 'OV ERNMENTS SHOULD BE AFRAID OF THEIR PEOPLE %VEY !ND YOU RE GOING TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN BY BLOWING UP A BUILDING 6 4HE BUILDING IS A SYMBOL AS IS THE ACT OF DESTROYING IT 3YMBOLS ARE GIVEN POWER BY PEOPLE 6 FOR 6ENDETTA

BACK THEM UP )F THE ""# S "REAKFAST IS TO BE BELIEVED ONLY OF PEOPLE KEEP THEIR .EW 9EAR S RESOLUTION FOR THE FULL DAYS 3ECONDLY THERE ARE THOSE DEMANDING TYPES WHO INSIST THAT YOU SHOULD NOT NEED A .EW 9EAR IN ORDER TO INSTIGATE A CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE )F YOU WANT TO START DOING SOMETHING OR STOP DOING SOMETHING AS IS OFTEN THE CASE THEN YOU SHOULD GO AHEAD AND DO IT REGARDLESS OF $ECEMBER ST BECOMING *ANUARY ST "OTH POINTS HAVE THEIR MERITS AND ) WAS PROBABLY BEING WON OVER BY ARGUMENT TWO 4HAT WAS UNTIL ) DECIDED TO WATCH 6 FOR 6ENDETTA ) HAD SEEN IT BEFORE THOROUGHLY EN JOYED IT AND MADE A MENTAL NOTE TO GIVE IT ANOTHER WATCH AT SOME POINT BUT WHY ) CHOSE THIS WEEK TO VIEW IT AGAIN IS ANYBODY S GUESS (OWEVER WATCH IT ) DID AND THE QUOTA

7HY BOTHER MAKING .EW 9EAR S RESOLUTIONS ) AM SURE OVER THE PAST COUPLE OF WEEKS WE HAVE ALL BEEN INVOLVED IN A CONVERSATION WHERE THIS PAR TICULAR QUESTION HAS ARISEN "UT HAVE YOU NOTICED THAT IT APPEARS TO COME FROM TWO OPPOSING VIEWPOINTS &IRSTLY THERE ARE THOSE THAT SAY IT WITH A DEFEATIST TONE h.O ONE EVER STICKS TO THEM SO WHAT IS THE POINT IN MAK ING THEM v THEY CHIRRUP WITH A CERTAIN DEGREE OF TRUTH TO

TION ) HAVE CHOSEN MAKES ME THINK BOTH OUR .EW 9EAR S RESOLUTION DENIERS MAY HAVE MISSED A TRICK .EW 9EAR THAT MYSTICAL TICK OF THE CLOCK PAST MIDNIGHT HAS OVER THE CENTURIES BEEN IMBUED WITH A SYMBOLIC POW ER OF RENEWAL AND IT IS WE THE PEOPLE WHO CONTINUE TO BUY INTO THAT SYMBOLISM WHEN WE CELEBRATE .EW 9EAR 9ES IT IS AN EXCUSE FOR A PARTY BUT IT IS ALSO CAUSE FOR COLLECTIVE REmEC TION ON WHAT HAS GONE BEFORE AND PERHAPS MORE IMPOR TANTLY COLLECTIVE ANTICIPATION ABOUT WHAT MAY BE TO COME 3O IF IT REQUIRES THIS SYMBOL TO PROVOKE A CHANGE IN PEOPLE S LIVES NO MATTER HOW SMALL THAT PERCENTAGE MAY BE THEN ) FOR ONE WILL VIGOROUSLY WEL COME IN AND ALL ITS RESO LUTIONS

*ONES S U C R A %DITOR

VÀiÌiÊV Ìi ÌÃ 7-

- Porn projected on Britten House - Union launches bus campaign

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- Mystic Meg offers her predictions for 2009!

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- Do genetics determine sexuality? - The wacky US elections

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- New Year’s resolutions - ATP Music Festival in Mainhead

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- Cheese & Wine appreciated - Women given new support

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- Could skiing be the best way to rid the post-Christmas blues?

- New Year means detox dining for lucky UEA students

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-/9 - Christmas for the homeless «°Ê£

- Betty & Ted take on drug abuse

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- Green resolutions - Green help from the government

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- UEA Korfball continue yet another successful year

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until midnight

5%! )MAGE !RCHIVE

*ACK #LARK !RTS %DITOR 4HIS TERM THE OPENING HOURS OF THE LIBRARY ARE EXTENDED )T WILL BE OPEN TILL MIDNIGHT ON WEEKDAYS AND TILL PM ON WEEKENDS 4HIS COMES AFTER MONTHS OF ORGANISING BOTH BY STUDENTS AND BY MEM BERS OF THE 3TUDENT 5NION 4HE DECISION TO LOOK INTO EXTENDED OPENING HOURS STARTED WHEN 0AUL 7ERNHAM A -EDICAL STU DENT CREATED A PETITION CALLING FOR EXTENDED HOURS 4HIS PETITION ALSO RE CEIVED SUPPORT FROM PEOPLE IN THE SCHOOLS OF %$5 AND !(0 4HIS TURNED INTO A STU DENT WIDE SURVEY THE RESULTS OF WHICH WOULD DETERMINE THE NEW LIBRARY OPENING HOURS &OR SEVERAL MONTHS MEETINGS WERE HELD BETWEEN THE !CADEMIC /FlCER AND THE LIBRARY 4HE OPENING HOURS FOR THIS TERM ARE THE RESULT OF THOSE MEETINGS ALTHOUGH STUDENTS MUST RE MEMBER THAT THIS TERM IS A TRIAL PERIOD AND THAT IF THE LIBRARY S NEW HOURS ARE NOT TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF THEY MAY NOT BE INSTATED FOR THE FOLLOWING ACADEMIC YEAR "ECAUSE OF THIS #AMMIE &ULLER !CADEMIC /FlCER OF THE 5NION HAS BEEN WORK ING TO PUBLICISE THE CHANGED HOURS THUS EXPLAINING THE MANY E MAILS THAT EVERY ONE HAS BEEN RECEIVING 4HE REASON WHY THE OPEN ING HOURS ARE TILL MIDNIGHT RATHER THAN BEING HOURS

IS THAT MANY STUDENTS WHO TOOK THE SURVEY COMMENT ED THAT THOUGH THE HOURS WOULD BE USEFUL FOR THEM OCCASIONALLY GENERALLY THEY DID NOT STUDY PAST MIDNIGHT 4HE WEEKEND HOURS MAY STILL SEEM LIMITED AS FOR SOME STUDENTS PM IS ARGUA BLY TOO EARLY TO CALL IT A NIGHT HOWEVER THERE IS A REASON FOR THIS /VER 3ATURDAY NIGHT AND THE FOLLOWING 3UNDAY MORNING ESSENTIAL SYSTEM BACKUPS ARE CARRIED OUT 4HE REASON WHY THERE CANNOT BE EARLIER HOURS ON 3ATURDAY AND LATER ONES ON 3UNDAY IS

THAT A FURTHER EXTENSION IN OPENING TIMES WOULD REQUIRE A GREATER NUMBER OF STAFF #AMMIE MAKES THE POINT THAT hWITH MANY STUDENTS EXPERIENCING INCREASING TIME CONSTRAINTSx THE EXTEND ED LIBRARY HOURS PROVIDE A GREATER mEXIBILITY FOR ALL TYPES OF 5%! STUDENTS v (EATHER 7ELLS THE (EAD OF 5SER 3ERV ICES AT THE LIBRARY SAID hIT S BEEN A PLEASURE TO WORK WITH THE 3TUDENT 5NION AND ACTU ALLY PUT IN PLACE SOMETHING THAT SHOULD MAKE A REAL DIF FERENT TO STUDENTS AT 5%! v

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YEAR STUDENT UPON HEARING ABOUT THE mOOD COMMENTED h) HOPE MY ESSAY GOT WASHED AWAY AND THEY JUST GIVE ME A lRST OUT OF SOME #HRIST MAS KINDNESS v 4HE STUDENT WISHES TO REMAIN NAMELESS

UNFORTUNATELY THESE THINGS CAN STILL HAPPENv -R 7ATTS CONCLUDED /NE RETURNING SECOND

CONCRETE NEWS

UEA AC UK

4UESDAY TH *ANUARY " , /

Stabbing Â and Â assault Â at Â end Â of Â semester !NDY *ONES /PINIONS %DITOR !T THE END OF LAST TERM THREE 5%! STUDENTS WERE ATTACKED BY A GANG IN WHAT WAS THOUGHT TO BE A RACIALLY MOTIVATED CRIME 4HE STUDENTS WHO WERE ALL !SIANS WERE ATTACKED AT THE JUNCTION OF "LUEBELL 2OAD AND 4HE !VENUES 4HE ATTACK WHICH INCLUDED ONE OF THE STUDENTS BEING STABBED TOOK PLACE LATE IN THE EVENING OF &RIDAY TH $ECEMBER .ONE OF THE VIC TIMS WERE SERIOUSLY INJURED ALTHOUGH ONE OF THE GROUP REQUIRED HOSPITAL ATTENTION 0OLICE SAY THAT FOUR MEN THREE TEENAGERS AND A MAN IN HIS EARLY S HAVE BEEN ARRESTED AND RELEASED ON POLICE BAIL IN CONNECTION WITH THIS INCIDENT !LL FOUR REMAIN UNDER INVESTIGATION .ORWICH POLICE HAVE ALSO PUT A SPECIAL UNIT OF DETEC TIVES TOGETHER TO INVESTIGATE ATTACKS ON STUDENTS AND TRY AND PREVENT FURTHER CRIMES 4HE ATTACK IS THE LAT EST IN A SERIES OF ATTACKS ON 5%! STUDENTS IN THE AREAS SURROUNDING CAMPUS !LSO PERHAPS MORE ALARMINGLY IT APPEARS TO BE ONE IN A SERIES OF RACIALLY MOTIVATED CRIMES AIMED AT FOREIGN STUDENTS ATTENDING 5%! 4HE STABBING COMES AF TER A 5%! STUDENT FROM 3AU DI !RABIA HAD BEEN ATTACKED IN .OVEMBER BY A GANG OF YOUTHS IN %ARLHAM PARK )N RESPONSE THERE WERE FEARS THAT PRESSURE MIGHT BE PUT UPON THE %DUCATION -INIS

2OWENA "ODDINGTON

%MIL !LLARD

TER OF 3AUDI !RABIA TO URGE HIM TO ABANDON THE POLICY OF SENDING GRADUATE STUDENTS TO %NGLAND +ALEEM 5LLAH 0RESIDENT OF THE )SLAMIC 3OCIETY SPOKE TO #ONCRETE ABOUT HIS INTENTION TO WRITE TO THE 3AUDI GOVERNMENT hxTHAT WAS AN INITIAL COURSE OF ACTION PROMPTED BY THE INADEQUATE 5%! RESPONSE AND SECURITY MEASURES AND THE EMBARRASSINGLY PASSIVE LOCAL POLICE FORCE (OWEVER HAVING ATTENDED MEETINGS WITH SENIOR PERSONNEL FROM BOTH THE 5%! AND THE PO LICE ASSURANCES HAVE BEEN MADE AND APOLOGIES WRIT TEN BY THE POLICE AND WE ARE CONlDENT THAT THEY WILL TAKE THIS CONCERN MUCH MORE SE RIOUSLY v h!S A COMMUNITY THOUGH WE ARE HOPEFUL THAT THE SITU

ATION WILL IMPROVE TIME CAN BE THE ONLY JUDGE AND WE ARE COOPERATING WITH THE POLICE AND 5%! IN ORDER TO ENSURE BETTER SAFETY FOR ALL "OTH THE )SLAMIC 3OCIETY AND THE 3AUDI 3OCIETY WILL WAIT TO SEE WHAT THE OUTCOME OF THE POLICE AND 5%! INTERVEN TION IS PRIOR TO MAKING ANY RECOMMENDATIONS TO ANY OF THEIR RESPECTED BODIES v 4HE STUDENT PICTURED WHO WISHES TO REMAIN NAMELESS SAID h(AVING TRAVELLED NUMEROUS COUN TRIES OF %UROPE AND THE WORLD ) HAVE NOT WITNESSED AND BEEN SUBJECTED TO THE UGLIEST AND DARKEST SIDES OF HUMAN BEINGS UNTIL VISITING THIS @'REAT #OUNTRY n FROM BEINGS WITH MORE BEASTLY INSTINCTS THAN THE WILDEST OF ANIMALS #REATURES WHICH

0ICTURERS PRINTED AS SUPPLIED

SPEW HATRED AND VIOLENCE OF WHICH EVEN THE .AZIS OR +++ WOULD LAUD v 5%! STUDENTS EXPRESSED THEIR SHOCK AT THE EVENTS WITH THIRD YEAR 0OLITICS AND 0HILOSOPHY STUDENT 4OM &ARTHING SAYING h) CAN T BELIEVE THAT THERE ARE SUCH PROBLEMS IN A SLEEPY PLACE LIKE .ORWICH .OWADAYS PEOPLE COME TO PLACES LIKE .ORWICH FOR A MORE RELAXED TYPE OF LIFE 4HESE CRIMES ARE DAMAGING THE CITY S IMAGEv 4HE 5NIVERSITY IS SUED A STATEMENT STATING h!LTHOUGH NEITHER OF THESE ATTACKS TOOK PLACE ON CAM PUS 5%! 3ECURITY 3ERVICES ARE LOOKING TO INSTALL ADDI TIONAL ##46 ALONGSIDE #OW $RIVE AND NEAR THE )SLAMIC #ENTRE AND HAVE BEEN WORK ING CLOSELY WITH THE .ORFOLK

#ONSTABULARY #RIME 0REVEN TION $EPARTMENT TO LOOK AT WHAT MEASURES CAN BE TAKEN TO FURTHER IMPROVE SECURITY IN THESE AREASv +ALEEM 5LLAH EXPLAINED THAT h) HAVE BEEN IN TOUCH WITH ;THE STUDENT= WHO IS CURRENTLY IN 3AUDI !RABIA AS HE DID NOT WISH TO SPEND HIS HOLIDAYS IN .ORWICH ) HAVE BEEN TRYING TO PERSUADE HIM TO APPLY FOR A 0H$ IN 5%! AND ) BELIEVE THAT ONCE HE HAS RESTED WELL AT HOME AND GIVEN THE POLICE S RESPONSE IN ARRESTING A NUMBER OF THE GANG MEMBERS HE FEELS MORE AT EASE THAT THE POLICE ARE ON TOP OF THE SITUATION AND WOULD PERHAPS RECON SIDER APPLYING TO 5%! TO STUDY FOR HIS 0H$ v 0OLICE ARE NOW ASKING FOR ANYONE WITH INFORMA TION ON THIS CRIME OR ANY SIMILAR INCIDENT TO COME FORWARD )N REGARDS TO THE STABBING INCIDENT $# $AV ID *ERMAN SAID h7E KNOW THAT A DARK COLOURED PRIVATE HIRE TAXI WITH SEVERAL OC CUPANTS INSIDE WAS PARKED IN THE IMMEDIATE AREA DUR ING THE INCIDENT #LEARLY IT IS LIKELY THESE INDIVIDUALS WOULD HAVE WITNESSED THE ASSAULT AND MAY HAVE IM PORTANT INFORMATION FOR OUR ENQUIRY ) WOULD APPEAL FOR THEM TO COME FORWARD AND CONTACT ME AT THE EARLIEST OPPORTUNITY v

Union Â bus Â week !NDY *UDSON $EPUTY %DITOR 4HE CONSTANT FRICTION BE TWEEN 5%! STUDENTS AND THE BUS SERVICES IN .ORWICH HAS LEAD TO THE 3TUDENTS 5NION CREATING A &IRST "US #AM PAIGN 7EEK TO HAPPEN IN 7EEK OF THE 3PRING 3EMES TER 4HE AIM OF THE WEEK IS TO LAY OUT TO THE &IRST "US #OMPANY THE MANY ISSUES THAT STUDENTS ARE HAVING AS WELL AS OTHER .ORWICH RESI DENTS WITH THE BUS SERVICE )T WILL INCLUDE A COMPLAINTS HOTLINE SET UP BY &IRST "US WHICH CAN BE USED TO NOTIFY THE COMPANY OF ANY PROB LEMS YOU MAY HAVE HAD FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO USE IT NOW CALL 4HERE WILL ALSO BE A STALL PRESENT IN THE (IVE THROUGH OUT THE WEEK TO GAUGE STUDENT FEELING ON THE ISSUE OF BUS SERVICES AND STUDENTS CAN ALSO EXPECT TO BE QUESTIONED WHILE WAITING AT THE BUS STOP ABOUT HOW THEY FEEL THE SERV ICE COULD BE IMPROVED 4HERE IS ALSO THE POSSIBILITY OF A 1 ! SESSION WITH A REPRESENT ATIVE FROM &IRST "USES 4HIS ALL COMES AFTER MOUNTING PRESSURE FROM STU DENTS FOR THE BUS SERVICE TO IMPROVE AFTER A LONG LIST OF INCIDENTS SUCH AS A RECENT OCCASION lRST REPORTED IN #ONCRETE AND LATER PICKED UP BY THE .ORWICH %VENING .EWS WHEN A DISABLED STU DENT WAS ABANDONED AWAY FROM HER HOME IN THE MID DLE OF THE NIGHT 4HE WEEK REPRESENTS THE LATEST WORK AND PLANNING DONE BY THE 5NION S &IRST "US 7ORKING 'ROUP SET UP BY 5NION #OUNCIL TO CONCEN TRATE ON THE BUS CAMPAIGN 4HE CAMPAIGN IS ONE OF THE THREE PRIORITY CAMPAIGNS FOR THE 3TUDENT 5NION %XECU TIVE #OMMENTING ON THE IS SUE 5NION 7ELFARE /FlCER 2UTH 3TONE SAID THAT hTHIS WEEK SHOULD BE A REAL CHANCE TO WORK TOGETHER WITH THE BUS COMPANY AND THE STU DENTS TO REALLY MAKE A DIFFER ENCE )F YOU VE GOT ANY ISSUES IF YOU VE EVER MISSED A SEMI NAR BECAUSE OF A LATE BUS IT S YOUR CHANCE TO HAVE YOUR SAY 3O PLEASE GET INVOLVED AND FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME AT SU WELFARE UEA AC UKv

" , / 4UESDAY TH *ANUARY 7-

National Â student Â survey 9OU WILL SOON HAVE THE OPPOR TUNITY TO LET YOUR FEELINGS BE KNOWN ON VARIOUS ACADEMIC ISSUES AS THE .ATIONAL 3TU DENT 3URVEY IS LAUNCHED AT THE START OF 7EEK 5%! HAS FARED PARTICU LARLY WELL IN PREVIOUS SUR VEYS RANKING IN THE TOP lVE MAINSTREAM 5+ UNIVERSITIES IN AND 3TU DENTS ARE ASKED TO JUDGE THE PERFORMANCE OF THEIR COURSE IN THE FOLLOWING AREAS TEACH ING QUALITY ASSESSMENT AND FEEDBACK ACADEMIC SUPPORT ORGANISATION AND MANAGE MENT LEARNING RESOURCES PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT AND OVERALL SATISFACTION )PSOS THE COMPANY CON DUCTING THE SURVEY WILL EMAIL lNAL YEAR UNDERGRADUATES DURING THE WEEK COMMENC ING *ANUARY INVITING THEM TO COMPLETE AN ONLINE QUESTIONNAIRE AT WWW THES TUDENTSURVEY COM )T SHOULD TAKE LESS THAN lVE MINUTES TO COMPLETE

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Carpark Â closed Â to Â students Â Â !LICE 'IBBS $EPUTY .EWS %DITOR 3TUDENTS WHO HAVE PARKING PERMITS FOR 5%! S -AIN #AR 0ARK WILL SOON FIND THEIR CARDS ARE INVALID DURING THE MORNING &ROM THE START OF -ARCH CONSTRUCTION OF A NEW BIO MASS PLANT ON PART OF THE CAR PARK WILL PREVENT COM MUTING STUDENTS FROM PARK ING THERE UNTIL PM WHEN NORMAL CHARGES RESUME 4HE BIOMASS PLANT THE FIRST OF ITS KIND IN %NGLAND IS BEING BUILT TO SUPPLY THE 5NIVERSITY S ENERGY NEEDS AND HELP ACHIEVE ITS AMBI TIOUS TARGET OF A REDUC TION IN CARBON EMISSIONS 4HE POWER PLANT WILL @GASIFY TIMBER FROM LOCAL SOURCES TO CONVERT IT INTO ELECTRIC ITY WORKING WITH THE COM BINED HEAT AND POWER PLANT INSTALLED IN WHICH HAS ALREADY REDUCED CAMPUS CARBON EMISSIONS BY $URING THE MONTHS

OF CONSTRUCTION STUDENTS CAN PARK FOR FREE AT THE .OR WICH 2ESEARCH 0ARK NEXT TO THE )NSTITUTE OF &OOD 2E SEARCH JUST UNDER A MILE FROM CAMPUS !NNIE /GDEN (EAD OF 5%! #OMMUNICATIONS SAID h7E APOLOGISE FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE AND HOPE THAT STUDENTS WILL APPRECI ATE THE STEPS THE 5NIVERSITY IS TAKING TO REDUCE OUR CAR BON FOOTPRINT 3TUDENTS ARE ASKED TO ALLOW TIME TO WALK FROM THE CAR PARK WHICH WILL BE SIGNPOSTED v 7HEN ASKED IF THE 2E SEARCH 0ARK COULD COMPEN SATE FOR THE SPACES LOST AT THE -AIN #AR 0ARK $AWN $EWAR 4RANSPORT #O ORDI NATOR SAID h4HE CAR PARK HAS JUST OVER SPACES EQUIVALENT TO THOSE LOST ON THE -AIN #AR 0ARK 7E HAVE PLANNING CONSENT FOR OVER SO COULD EXTEND IF NECESSARY v 3HE CONTINUED h!N AV ERAGE PERSON COULD WALK

THE DISTANCE IN LESS THAN MINUTES BUT IT DEPENDS WHERE THEY ARE GOING ON CAMPUS )T IS PROBABLY NO FURTHER THAN A STUDENT WALK ING FROM THE -AIN #AR 0ARK TO ")/ v 0ARKING ON CAMPUS HAS ALWAYS BEEN A CONTROVERSIAL ISSUE WITH TIGHT CONTROLS ON WHO CAN QUALIFY FOR A PERMIT TO ENCOURAGE ALTER NATIVE GREENER METHODS OF TRANSPORT 4HOSE WHO WILL BE HARDEST HIT BY THE CHANGE IN ARRANGEMENTS WILL BE PARENTS WHO RELY ON THE PROXIMITY OF THE -AIN #AR 0ARK TO THE .URSERY !S YET OVERALL RESPONSE HAS BEEN POSITIVE WITH 'EMMA )RELAND A ,)4 STU DENT WHO COMMUTES MINUTES FROM $EREHAM TO 5%! COMMENTING h4HE NORMAL CHARGES TAKE A BIG PART OF MY STUDENT LOAN ) DON T MIND ABOUT THE WALK ) M JUST HAPPY THAT IT S FREE TO PARK FOR A WHILE v

%MIL !LLARD

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4HE CLOSING DATE FOR APPLICATIONS IS &RIDAY &EBRUARY

" , / 4UESDAY TH *ANUARY 7-

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Dean Â of Â FOH Â to Â leave Whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Â a Â pretty Â boy Â then?

-ARCUS *ONES %DITOR

0ROFESSOR 0ETER +OPEL MAN $EAN OF THE &ACULTY OF (EALTH WILL BE LEAVING HIS POSITION AT 5%! ON ST -ARCH TO TAKE UP THE POST OF 0RINCIPAL OF 3T 'EORGE S -EDICAL 3CHOOL 5NIVERSITY OF ,ONDON 0ROFESSOR +OPELMAN JOINED 5%! IN *ANUARY AFTER HOLDING PREVI OUS POSITIONS AS 6ICE 0RIN CIPAL AND $EPUTY 7ARDEN OF THE -EDICAL AND $EN TAL 3CHOOL AT 1UEEN -ARY 5NIVERSITY OF ,ONDON AND 0ROFESSOR OF #LINICAL -EDI CINE AT "ARTS AND 4HE ,ON DON .(3 (OSPITAL 4RUST (IS AREA OF EXPERTISE LIES IN DIABETES CARE AND THE MAN AGEMENT AND PREVENTION OF OBESITY 4HE MOVE SEES THE 0RO FESSOR RETURNING TO WHERE HIS MEDICAL CAREER BEGAN AS HE WAS AN UNDERGRADU ATE AT 3T 'EORGE S )T SEEMS THAT THIS TIE WAS A KEY FAC TOR IN HIS DECISION TO LEAVE .ORWICH h)T WAS CLEAR FROM MY DISCUSSIONS WITH 0ETER THAT HE FOUND THIS MOVE AN

EXTREMELY DIFFICULT DECISION TO MAKEv EXPLAINED 5%! S 6ICE #HANCELLOR "ILL -AC MILLAN h(OWEVER IT OFFERS HIM AN OPPORTUNITY WHICH EVEN IN THE @SMALL WORLD OF ACADEMIA ARISES VERY RARELY THE CHANCE TO LEAD THE IN STITUTION WHERE HE WAS AN UNDERGRADUATE AND WHERE HE CONDUCTED HIS EARLY YEARS OF POSTGRADUATE TRAIN ING AND RESEARCH v 3T 'EORGE S ARE UNDER STANDABLY PLEASED AT 0RO

FESSOR +OPELMAN S RETURN "ARONESS %LAINE -URPHY WHO LED THE SELECTION PROC ESS SAID h) AM DELIGHTED THAT 0ROFESSOR +OPELMAN IS RETURNING TO 3T 'EORGE Sx (E IS NOT ONLY A DISTIN GUISHED ACADEMIC CLINICIAN BUT ALSO AN EXPERIENCED SENIOR MANAGER IN HIGHER EDUCATION AND HE HAS A DEEP ABIDING AFFECTION FOR 3T 'EORGE S v &OR HIS REMAINING THREE MONTHS AT 5%! 0ROFESSOR

+OPELMAN WILL CONTINUE TO DEVELOP THE STRATEGIC PLAN FOR THE &ACULTY OF (EALTH BEFORE EMBARKING UPON THE CHALLENGES OF HIS NEW JOB 0ROFESSOR +OPELMAN SAID h3T 'EORGE S IS A MARVELLOUS INSTITUTION WITH A STRONG HISTORICAL TRADITION )T IS A TRUE PRIVILEGE FOR ME TO LEAD IT AS IT ENTERS A PARTICULARLY IMPORTANT TIME IN ITS HISTO "ETH "URNS RY ) AM LOOKING FORWARD TO 2EPORTER WORKING WITH MY NEW COL LEAGUES AND STUDENTS v /N 4UESDAY $ECEMBER TH THE "LUE "AR WITNESSED THE RETURN OF -ISS 5%! n THE 5NIVERSITY S ONE AND ONLY DRAG QUEEN AUCTION 4EN BRAVE GUYS n FOUR DRESSED AS 3AINTS AND SIX AS 3INNERS TO lT IN WITH THE ,#2 THEME COSTUMES INCLUDED AN AN GEL A NUN AND #RUELLA $E 6IL n WERE AUCTIONED OFF BY THE -AKE 0OVERTY (ISTORY SO CIETY AND THE ONE WHO RAISED THE MOST MONEY WOULD BE CROWNED -ISS 5%! 4HE MONEY RAISED ALL WENT TO THE 7EST !FRICAN $EVELOPMENT /BJECTIVE 7!$/ A CHARITY WHICH SUPPORTS LOCAL BUSINESSES IN 7ESTERN !FRICA BY GIVING ADVICE AND IF NECESSARY l NANCIAL BACKING TO START UP A BUSINESS n AS LONG AS THE

Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Â rush Â housing Â choice -ARCUS *ONES %DITOR 4HE 3TUDENT 5NION (OUSING %VENT WILL BE TAKING PLACE ON 4UESDAY TH &EBRUARY FROM PM PM IN ,ECTURE 4HEATRES AND 4HE EVENT WILL BE ATTEND ED BY MEMBERS OF THE 5NION !DVICE CENTRE REPRESENTATIVES FROM THE POLICE ENVIRONMEN TAL HEALTH AND SOLICITORS WITH THE AIM BEING TO INFORM PEO PLE ABOUT EVERYTHING RELATED TO RENTING IN THE PRIVATE SEC TOR !S *O 3PIRO 3TUDENT 3UP PORT 3ERVICES -ANAGER TOLD #ONCRETE hTHERE IS A MYTH THAT ALWAYS GOES AROUND THAT YOU NEED TO GET HOUSES EARLYv 4HIS LEADS TO PEOPLE MAKING RUSHED DECISIONS ABOUT WHO THEY WANT TO LIVE WITH AND WHAT PROPERTIES THEY CHOOSE h3OMETIMES THOSE PEOPLE WHO ARE FUN TO SOCIALISE WITH IN THE lRST YEAR MAY NOT NEC ESSARILY BE FUN TO LIVE WITHv SAID *O !T THIS TIME MANY PEOPLE

ALSO START TO PANIC THAT THEY DO NOT HAVE ANY POTENTIAL HOUSE MATES LINED UP (OWEVER HELP IS ALSO PROVIDED ON THIS FRONT WITH HOUSING SOCIALS TAKING PLACE AT PM IN THE (IVE ON &EBRUARY TH AND TH h!LL THESE EVENTS TAKE PLACE AT A TIME THAT PROVIDES PLENTY OF TIME BEFORE %ASTER TO BEGIN LOOKING FOR HOUSES "UT EVEN IF YOU DON T lND SOME

THING UNTIL AFTER %ASTER THEN IT IS NO CAUSE FOR ALARMv CON lRMED *O *O IS ALSO KEEN TO HIGHLIGHT THE USEFULNESS OF (OME 2UN THE 0RIVATE 3ECTOR (OUSING "UREAU SET UP BY THE 3TUDENT 5NION THEY SET MINIMUM STANDARDS FOR STUDENT HOUS ING AND ALSO DO NOT REQUIRE ANY FEE -ANY OTHER .ORWICH BASED COMPANIES WILL CHARGE

FOR HELPING YOU lND A HOUSE h4HE MESSAGE AT THIS POINT IS NOT TO RUSH IN TOO QUICKLY AND END UP BEING BOUND BY A MONTH TENANCY AGREEMENT TO A LIVE A HOUSE WITH PEOPLE YOU lND YOU NO LONGER GET ON WITHv CONCLUDED *O &OR FURTHER INFORMATION FEEL FREE TO CONTACT THE 3TUDENT !DVICE #ENTRE ON ADVICECENTRE UEA AC UK

BUSINESS IS ETHICAL PLANS TO HELP EDUCATE ITS WORKERS AND AGREES TO PUT A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF ITS PROlT BACK INTO THE LOCAL COMMUNITY "ETWEEN THE TEN GUYS THE EVENT RAISED A HEALTHY a WHICH WAS AN IMPROVEMENT ON -ISS 5%! ,AST YEAR S WINNER $AVE -ARCUS COMPERED THE EVENT THIS YEAR AND SEEMED A LIT TLE DISAPPOINTED WHEN HIS RECORD OF a WAS BEATEN 4HIS YEAR THE TITLE WENT TO $AVID -C.IECE WHO WAS AUCTIONED FOR a 4HE -AKE 0OVERTY (ISTORY SOCIETY ARE VERY PLEASED WITH THE WAY THE EVENT TURNED OUT AND ALREADY HAVE A VOLUNTEER FOR NEXT YEAR S COMPETITION (OWEVER BEFORE THAT HAP PENS THEY HOPE TO SEE MANY MORE PEOPLE AT #HANGE WHICH WILL BE ADVERTISED AROUND CAMPUS SOON

CONCRETE NEWS

UEA AC UK

4UESDAY TH *ANUARY " , /

Adult Â entertainment 'RACE 3IMPSON &OOD %DITOR 0ASTON (OUSE RESIDENTS WERE TREATED TO AN UNUSUAL FORM OF ENTERTAINMENT IN THE EARLY HOURS OF 3UNDAY ND $ECEM BER !T AROUND AM JUST AS STUDENTS WERE RETURNING FROM THE 3ATURDAY ,#2 PORNOG RAPHY WAS DISPLAYED ON THE WALLS OF "RITTEN (OUSE BY lRST YEAR STUDENTS USING A PROJEC TOR BROUGHT FROM HOME 4HE THREE 0ASTON RESI DENTS WHO WISH TO REMAIN ANONYMOUS BEGAN WITH A PROJECTION OF 3UPER -ARIO FOLLOWED BY THE MINUTE PORN VIDEO &ELLOW 0ASTON RESIDENT *ONATHAN -ARTIN WITNESSED THE NIGHT S ACTIVI TIES h-Y mATMATES AND ) WERE IN THE KITCHEN OF OUR mAT WHEN WE HEARD A LOT OF NOISE OUTSIDE 0EOPLE WERE SITTING ALONG THE PATHS BETWEEN 0AS TON AND "RITTEN (OUSE WATCH ING PORN WHICH WE BELIEVED WAS BEING PROJECTED FROM OUR BUILDING !FTER AROUND TWENTY MINUTES SECURITY ARRIVED AND

CAME UP TO OUR mAT TO ASK IF WE KNEW WHO WAS PROJECTING THE lLM 7HEN WE COULDN T PROVIDE THEM WITH INFOR MATION THE SECURITY GUARD JOKED THAT HE WAS ANNOYED THAT THEY HAD MISSED THE BE GINNING OF THE VIDEO BEFORE GIVING UP ON THEIR SEARCH FOR WHO DID IT v !NOTHER WIT NESS /LIVER +ISBY DESCRIBED

h'ENIUSv THE PRANKSTERS PROJECTIONS AS h'ENIUS 4HE GUYS WHO DID IT ARE ABSOLUTE LEGENDS QUALITY ENTERTAINMENT FOR A 3ATURDAY NIGHT v )T IS NOT THOUGHT THAT THE CULPRITS WERE DISCOVERED SINCE THEY ENDED THEIR PRO JECTION WHEN THE CROWDS OF EXCITABLE STUDENTS OUTSIDE AT TRACTED THE ATTENTION OF 5%! SECURITY STAFF

#OMPUTER SCIENCE CLASSES EMPTY AS PUBLIC PORN CATCHES ON

Free Â STI Â tests 4HE ADVICE CENTRE OF THE 5N ION OF 5%! 3TUDENTS IS OFFER ING FREE CHLAMYDIA TESTS FOR ALL STUDENTS IN A PERSONAL SAFE SERVICE 3TUDENTS ARE IN VITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS SERVICE AS THE LONG TERM EFFECTS OF CHLAMYDIA CAN BE DEVASTATING n INFERTILITY IS A POSSIBILITY n WHILST IT OFTEN PRESENTS NO CLEAR SYMPTOMS FOR THOSE INFECTED &OR MORE INFORMATION CONTACT 2UTH 3TONE THE 7ELFARE /FlCER ON SU WELFARE UEA AC UK

Socmart Â and Â Sportsmart Â 2 4HIS 7EDNESDAY TH *ANU ARY SEES THE RETURN OF ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT EVENTS OF THE 5%! CALENDAR n 3OC-ART ,#2 AND ITS CLOSE COUSIN 3PORTS-ART 3PORTSPARK 3O CIETIES AND CLUBS OFFER AN EXCELLENT CHANCE FOR STUDENTS TO GET STUCK INTO THEIR FAVOUR ITE PASTIMES ENCOURAGING US ALL TO TAKE UP NEW HOBBIES LEARN NEW SKILLS AND MAKE NEW FRIENDS

WWW CONCRETE ONLINE CO UK

, / 4UESDAY TH *ANUARY

0ETER (AIN 4ANGOED

Mystic Â Megâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Â predictions Â for Â 2009 hHUG A HADDOCK v 9OUR LUCKY SANDWICH lLLING FRIED POMEGRANATE

' O O D EVENING ) M -YSTIC -EG AND ) M WRIT ING EXCLUSIVE LY IN 4HE %N QUIRER ABOUT THE EVENTS THAT WILL TAKE PLACE IN THE FORTHCOMING YEAR *ANUARY 4HE YEAR WILL BEGIN WELL FOR PEOPLE IN THE /UTER (EBRIDES DUE TO -ARS MAKING A SUCCESSFUL PASS AT 6ENUS SO NOW IS DElNITELY THE RIGHT TIME TO PURCHASE THAT LEATHER CLAD FUR TRIMMED LUXURY POTTING SHED YOU VE ALWAYS LUSTED AFTER DESPITE WHAT YOUR WIFE THINKS !FTER ENDING THE LAST YEAR BADLY 'ORDON "ROWN WILL WANT TO REGAIN THE INI TIATIVE 4O THIS END HIS DISEMBODIED HEAD WILL FEATURE IN HALF A DOZ EN NEW IDENTS TO BE BROADCAST ON #HANNEL BEFORE PROGRAMMES SUCH AS (OLLYOAKS 5GLY "ETTY AND 4HE &RIDAY .IGHT 0ROJECT 9OUR LUCKY SANDWICH lLLING GOAT S CHEESE AND STRAWBERRIES &EBRUARY "ECAUSE 4AURUS THE "ULL HAS STOMPED PAST 3ATURN ""# BOSSES IN .ORFOLK WILL FEEL THAT THEY MUST SEX UP THE LOCAL NEWS OUTPUT 3O 3TUART 7HITE #AROL "UNDOCK AND !MELIA 2EYNOLDS WILL BE JOINED BY 2USSELL "RAND FOR POST WATERSHED INSTALMENTS OF ,OOK %AST TO BE RENAMED ,OOK %AST FOR 'ROWN 5PS WHICH WILL FEATURE EX CLUSIVE GOSSIP ABOUT .ORFOLK OUTRA GEOUS STUNTS WITH REAL PEOPLE FROM .ORFOLK AND LIVE PERFORMANCES FROM UP AND COMING .ORFOLK BANDS SUCH AS THE 7YMONDHAM 7ARBLERS AND THE ,ADS &ROM ,ODDON %LSEWHERE IN A SPEECH MADE TO TRAWLER MEN IN 'RIMSBY ABOUT THE lSHING INDUSTRY $AVID #AMERON WILL URGE PEOPLE TO

-ARCH -ERCURY S ORBIT WILL HAVE A DETRI MENTAL EFFECT ON THE ,IB$EM 3PRING #ONFERENCE WHICH TAKES PLACE IN 'ORLESTON THIS YEAR .ICK #LEGG WILL BE FORCED TO DENY THAT HE IS ACTUALLY TWELVE STILL ATTENDING SCHOOL AND HASN T HIT PUBERTY YET WHILST MUTTER INGS WILL BEGIN CALLING FOR 6INCE #A BLE TO BE REINSTATED AS ACTING LEADER WITH IMMEDIATE EFFECT 3PURRED ON BY THE SUCCESS OF SERIES TWO OF 4ORCH WOOD ""# BOSSES IN .ORFOLK WILL DECIDE TO INTRODUCE A .ORWICH VER SION %NTITLED 4UCKSWOOD THE SCI l SPIN OFF WILL SEE #AAPTAIN *AAK TRACK DOWN ALIENS AND TRY TO CONTROL THE TIME SPACE RIFT THAT RUNS THROUGH 2AMPANT (ORSE 3TREET 9OUR LUCKY SANDWICH lLLING 7EETA BIX4- AND MUSTARD !PRIL 0ISCES AND #APRICORN WILL BE ON A CHEAP PACKAGE HOLIDAY TO #LEETHOR PES THIS MONTH MAKING THE !PRIL SHOWERS TASTE OF CHEAP RED WINE FROM !LDI WHICH IS NOT AT ALL SPLEN DID /N !PRIL &OOLS $AY 4HE 3UN WILL REPORT THAT THE 1UEEN HAS AB DICATED LEAVING THE THRONE TO *ADE 'OODY )N HIS lRST "UDGET !LISTAIR $ARLING WILL DElNITELY NOT BE IN TRODUCING A NEW TAX ON HAVING BIG THICK BLACK EYEBROWS AND LOOK ING LIKE A BADGER AS HE WOULD BE ADVERSELY AFFECTED %LSEWHERE IN A SPEECH MADE TO CHARITY WORKERS IN 'REATER -ANCHESTER ABOUT POVERTY AND HOMELESSNESS $AVID #AMERON WILL URGE PEOPLE TO hHUG A HOBO v 9OUR LUCKY SANDWICH lLLING LARD -AY *UPITER WILL SPREAD GOOD LUCK TO THE .ORFOLK )NDEPENDENCE 0ARTY JUST IN TIME FOR THE LOCAL ELECTIONS THIS MONTH 4HE PARTY WILL MAKE SWEEP ING GAINS ACROSS .ORFOLK WHICH WILL ENABLE THEM TO SECURE INDEPEND

ENCE FROM THE REST OF THE 5NITED +INGDOM ,ABOUR WILL LOSE THOU SANDS OF SEATS THE #ONSERVATIVES WILL GAIN THOUSANDS OF SEATS BUT THE ,IB$EMS WILL STAY THE SAME CAUSING A WHISPERING CAMPAIGN AGAINST .ICK #LEGG TO BEGIN -EANWHILE "ORIS *OHNSON AFTER SUCCESSFULLY WIPING THE mOOR WITH +EN ,IVINGSTONE AND BECOMING -AYOR OF ,ONDON WILL BE OVERHEARD SAYING h#RIPES WHAT DO ) DO NOW v 9OUR LUCKY SANDWICH lLLING lLLET OF HAMSTER WITH GHERKINS *UNE !FTER A HISSY lT WITH HIS AGENT OVER FEES FOR APPEARING ON 4HE *EREMY +YLE 3HOW 3AGITTARIUS WON T BE ANSWER ING THE PHONE WHICH WILL ALLOW THE 5NION OF 5%! 3TUDENTS AT LONG LAST TO SUCCESSFULLY BAN ALL FORMS OF FUN ON CAMPUS )NSTEAD OF 5%! HOODIES STUDENTS AT 5%! WILL NOW BE SPORT ING 5%! HAIR SHIRTS AND LOOKING GLUM AS THEY TRUDGE PITIFULLY INTO THE LECTURE THEATRES %LSEWHERE IN A SPEECH TO SCIENTISTS IN %DINBURGH ABOUT GENETIC ENGINEERING $AVID #AMERON WILL URGE PEOPLE TO hHUG A HORMONE v 9OUR LUCKY SANDWICH lLLING GRAPES COATED IN TOMATO PUREE *ULY #APRICORN WILL DIRECTLY INmUENCE THE DECISION TO BRING 2OUND THE 4WIST BACK TO TELEVISION 4HE NEW SERIES WILL CHART THE ADULT EXPLOITS OF 0ETE

,INDA AND "RONSON &URTHER PROJECTS IN THE PIPELINE WILL BE ADULT VER SIONS OF 'RANGE (ILL AND "YKER 'ROVE FEATURING GRITTY STORYLINES ABOUT SEX DRUGS AND PAINTBALLS IN THE FACE )N SPORT .ORWICH #ITY WILL SIGN UP :IPPY FROM 2AINBOW TO PLAY CENTRE FORWARD ! DELIGHTED $ELIA 3MITH WILL COMMENT h(E S MY TWELFTH MAN v 9OUR LUCKY SANDWICH lLLING PORK SCRATCHINGS AND MINT CHOC CHIP ICE CREAM !UGUST "ECAUSE !QUARIUS WON T COME OUT TO PLAY NO SOONER DOES 'ORDON "ROWN ARRIVE ON HOLIDAY AT 'REAT 9ARMOUTH THEN HE WILL BE CALLED BACK TO .O TO DEAL WITH A PLAGUE OF LOCUSTS IN 3OMERSET TOTAL DARKNESS IN .ORTH UMBERLAND AND ,INDA "ARKER MOV ING TO #OVENTRY %LSEWHERE IN A SPEECH TO PUPILS IN #HELTENHAM ABOUT EDUCATION REFORMS $AVID #AMERON WILL URGE PEOPLE TO hHUG A HEADTEACHER v 9OUR LUCKY SANDWICH lLLING 0EDI GREE #HUM43EPTEMBER *UPITER ECLIPSING .EPTUNE WHILST !R IES IS BRUSHING IT S TEETH WILL ENSURE THAT THE ,IB$EM PARTY CONFERENCE WILL BE A TORRID AFFAIR FOR .ICK #LEGG !N )PSOS POLL FOR THE 'UARDIAN WILL SHOW THAT ONLY OF VOTERS WILL BE ABLE TO IDENTIFY HIM AND WILL THINK HE S AN OUT OF WORK $AVID #AMERON ,OOKALIKE ! WOMAN FROM 3OUTH #ROYDON WILL WIN a MIL LION ON %URO-ILLIONS AND USES THE MONEY TO BUY 'LOUCESTERSHIRE 0AUL $ANIELS WILL ATTEMPT TO REVIVE HIS CAREER BY APPEARING ON (OLBY #ITY AS A TRANSVESTITE NURSE CALLED 7ILMA 9OUR LUCKY SANDWICH lLLING SAR DINES AND .UTELLA4/CTOBER 4HE PASSING OF 6ENUS WILL AFFECT 'EORGE 7 "USH SO SIGNIlCANTLY THAT THE LAST THING HE DOES IN OFlCE IS TO PERFORM THE #AN #AN FROM /R PHEUS IN THE 5NDERWORLD ALONG WITH

SHIP TRIGGERING THE ANNUAL LEADER SHIP CONTEST %LSEWHERE IN A SPEECH TO MOTORISTS IN $AVENTRY ABOUT TAX ING CARS $AVID #AMERON WILL URGE PEOPLE TO hHUG A HATCHBACK v 9OUR LUCKY SANDWICH lLLING CHICKEN NUGGETS AND FRIED TEABAGS .OVEMBER !S .EPTUNE AND *UPITER HAVE NAR ROWLY AVOIDED A HEAD ON COLLISION ) CAN CONlDENTLY MAKE THE FOLLOWING PREDICTIONS ABOUT THE OUTCOME OF THE 53 0RESIDENTIAL %LECTIONS "RUCE &ORSYTH %NA 3HARPLES AND #AROL 6ORDERMAN WILL NOT BE ELECTED 53 0RESIDENT (OWEVER (ILLARY #LIN TON "ARACK /BAMA *OHN -C#AIN *IM $AVIDSON DELETE AS APPLICABLE COME .OVEMBER WILL 'ORDON "ROWN WILL CONGRATULATE THE NEW 0RESIDENT BY SENDING A SIGNED COPY OF HIS NEW BOOK .EO ENDIGINOUS 'ROWTH 4HEORY FOR "EGINNERS 6OLUME ) 9OUR LUCKY SANDWICH lLLING PRET ZELS WITH WALNUT MAYONNAISE $ECEMBER 3CORPIO AND ,IBRA TRADING SMUTTY IN SULTS WITH EACH OTHER IN THE #ELESTIAL (ALL OF "LIND )N DIFFERENCE WILL GIVE A LANDSLIDE V I C T O R Y TO 3OOTY WHO IS PROMPTLY D E C L A R E D THE NEW ,IB$EM LEADER PRIMA RILY BECAUSE HE IS THE RIGHT COLOUR 'ORDON "ROWN WILL BREATHE A SIGH OF RELIEF THAT THE YEAR HASN T BEEN THAT BAD BEFORE REALISING THAT CIVIL SERVANTS HAVE KEPT HIM IN THE DARK ABOUT PRISONERS ESCAPING NURSES GOING ON STRIKE SYS TEMIC DATA MISHANDLING IN THE $E PARTMENT OF 7ORK AND 0ENSIONS '#3% AND ! ,EVEL GRADES INmATING BY MEANING A DONKEY CAN BE ADMITTED TO /XFORD AND THE ECONOMY COLLAPSING MAKING THE POUND WORTH DOLLARS %LSEWHERE IN A SPEECH TO 8VARGA ZAWS IN !LPHA #ENTAURI ABOUT THE PLANET %ARTH $AVID #AMERON WILL URGE ALIENS TO hHUG A HUMANv BE FORE PROMPTLY BEING EXTERMINATED 9OUR LUCKY SANDWICH lLLING ROAST

$ICK #HENEY IN FRONT OF ASTONISHED JOURNALISTS IN THE /VAL /FlCE DUR ING HIS lNAL PRESS CONFERENCE .ICK #LEGG RESIGNS THE ,IB$EM LEADER

*#. & ,-

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7EDNESDAY TH *ANUARY " , /

" /Ê Ê"* "

CONCRETE OPINION YAHOO COM

It’s time for a change -ATTHEW $AVISON $EPUTY #OUNCIL #HAIR !SK MANY STUDENTS AT 5%! WHAT THEIR 5NION DOES FOR THEM AND SOME MAY TALK ABOUT THE 5NION "AR OR PER HAPS THE ,#2 NIGHTS AND SOME MAY TELL YOU THAT IT IS ABOUT WANNABE POLITICIANS SEEING A WAY OF SCORING SOME POINTS FOR THEIR #6 7HAT MOST STUDENTS DON T REALISE IS THAT LIKE ANY OTHER UNION ITS MAIN PURPOSE IS TO REPRESENT AND PROTECT THE INTERESTS OF ITS MEMBERS 3O WHY IS THIS MESSAGE NOT GETTING ACROSS TO THE STUDENT BODY 7HY WHEN A PROBLEM ARISES DOES A STUDENT NOT CHOOSE THEIR 5NION REPRE SENTATIVE AS THE lRST PORT OF CALL 4HE ANSWER TO THIS IS IN MY OPINION TWO FOLD &IRSTLY BECAUSE THERE IS INSUFlCIENT PUBLICITY AND A LACK OF DIA LOGUE BETWEEN THE 5NION AND THOSE IT REPRESENTS 3ECONDLY THE 5NION HAS LOST SIGHT OF

THIS PURPOSE WHICH SHOULD BE AT ITS VERY CORE ) WAS RECENTLY TOLD BY A FRIEND THAT HIS CAMPUS CARD HAD BEEN FRAUDULENTLY USED TO TAKE OUT BOOKS ON HIS LI BRARY ACCOUNT AND THAT THE LIBRARY WERE STILL CHARGING HIM

h7HY WHEN A PROBLEM ARISES DOES A STUDENT NOT CHOOSE THEIR 5NION REPRESENTATIVE AS THE lRST PORT OF CALL v FOR THE BOOKS ) ASKED HIM WHY HE DIDN T GET HELP FROM THE 7ELFARE /FlCER (IS REPLY WAS THAT HE DIDN T KNOW THAT THE 5NION COULD HELP IN THAT WAY OR WHERE THE 7ELFARE /F lCER S OFlCE WAS 4HIS EXAM PLE SHOWS THE CONSEQUENCES

OF THE LACK OF PUBLICITY FROM THE 5NION CONCERNING ITS CORE FUNCTION 4HIS HOWEVER IS NOT WHERE THE PROBLEMS END )N A RECENT SURVEY THE QUESTION WAS ASKED @7HO IS YOUR 5NION #OUNCIL REPRE SENTATIVE /UT OF THE PEO PLE POLLED ONLY THREE PEOPLE KNEW THE ANSWER )F A STUDENT DOES NOT KNOW THE INDIVIDUAL THAT ACTS AS THE LINK BETWEEN THEM AND THE 5NION HOW CAN THE 5NION PERFORM ITS ROLE 4HIS LACK OF DIALOGUE IS ALSO ONE OF THE MAJOR CAUSES OF THE TROUBLE THAT IS STILL RUM BLING ON CONCERNING THE PRO POSED INITIATIONS MOTION )F THE 5NION HAD SAT DOWN WITH THE SPORTS CLUBS AND REACHED A CONSENSUS ON WHICH THE MA JORITY AGREED THEN THE MOTION WOULD HAVE PASSED THROUGH COUNCIL WITH LITTLE OPPOSITION "ECAUSE THIS DID NOT HAPPEN THE 5NION HAS SUFFERED A LARGE OPPOSITION AND HAS BEEN UN ABLE TO PASS A PIECE OF LEGISLA

TION WHICH DOES HAVE A PRACTI CAL PURPOSE 4HIS LACK OF COMMUNICA TION IS ALSO A REASON FOR THE SECOND FAULT ! UNION WHICH DOES NOT CONVERSE WITH ITS MEMBERS WILL NOT KNOW WHAT ITS MEMBERS ACTUALLY WANT

h@7HO IS YOUR UNION COUNCIL REPRESENTATIVE /UT OF THE PEOPLE POLLED ONLY THREE PEOPLE KNEW THE ANSWERv )T THEREFORE FALLS PREY TO THE PET CAMPAIGNS OF INDIVIDUAL COUNCIL MEMBERS WHICH HAVE LITTLE RELEVANCE TO THE STUDENT POPULATION WHICH INCREASES THE FEELING OF DISENGAGEMENT WITH THE 5NION 4HE 5NION HAS TO DECIDE WHICH IS MORE IMPORTANT "URMA OR TEACH

ING HOURS .ESTLE OR LIBRARY BOOKS ) AM SURE THE MAJORITY OF STUDENTS WILL ANSWER WITH THE LATTER 7HAT IS NEEDED IS A UN ION WITH A BIGGER PRESENCE 2EPRESENTATIVES SHOULD BE INFORMED THAT THEIR JOBS EN TAIL MORE THAN TURNING UP TO COUNCIL MEETINGS AND THAT MAKING THEMSELVES AVAILABLE TO THEIR CONSTITUENTS IS JUST AS IMPORTANT 4HIS COULD BE ACHIEVED THROUGH SURGERIES IN THE (IVE AT LUNCHTIMES OR BY JUST GOING INTO THE 3QUARE AND TALKING TO PEOPLE 4HE 5NION SHOULD ALSO BE MORE WILLING TO CONSULT ITS MEMBERS ON ISSUES AND PROPOSALS 7ITH THIS IN CREASED SENSE OF INVOLVEMENT WOULD COME GREATER PARTICIPA TION AND WE MAY START TO SEE A UNION WHERE CAMPAIGNS AND ISSUES ORIGINATE FROM THE BOTTOM UP RATHER THAN SEC OND GUESSING AND TOP DOWN DECISIONS

Concrete Debate: Can you choose your sexuality? 4HIS WEEK WE EXAMINE WHETHER PEOPLE CAN CHOOSE THEIR OWN SEXUALITY !NDY *ONES CLAIMS THAT SEXUALITY MUST BE VIEWED AS A CHOICE WHEREAS %MMELINE 3AUNDERS ARGUES THAT CHOICE ALONE CANNOT DETERMINE OUR SEXUAL PREFERENCE !NDY *ONES /PINIONS %DITOR )N RECENT TIMES THERE HAS ARIS EN A CONSENSUS THAT SEXUAL ITY IS PROGRAMMED AT BIRTH )F ACCEPTED THIS COULD PROVE TO DAMAGE THE CAUSE OF GAY RIGHTS )T RELEGATES ALL OUR SEXUAL CHOIC ES TO BIOLOGICAL IMPULSES AND MAKES US SLAVES TO OUR PAS SIONS )T OPENS THE DOOR TO ALL KINDS OF UNPLEASANT DOCTRINES THAT ARE MORE READILY ASSOCIAT ED WITH THE MEDIEVAL #HURCH THAN A ST CENTURY SOCIETY "UT PERHAPS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ITS CONSEQUENCES IS THE FACT THAT IT IS ABSOLUTE RUBBISH 4HE IDEA THAT SEXUALITY IS PREDETERMINED AT BIRTH IS SIM PLY INCORRECT )T IS A MYTH THAT NEEDS TO BE DEBUNKED AS SOON AS POSSIBLE )N THE WORDS OF "RIAN -USTANSKI 0H$ hSINCE SEXUAL ORIENTATION IS SUCH A COMPLEX TRAIT WE RE NEVER GO ING TO lND ANY ONE GENE THAT DETERMINES WHETHER SOMEONE IS GAY OR NOTv 4HE MYTH WAS BORN IN THE EARLY S AS A RESULT OF WORK THAT WAS LATER WIDELY DISCREDITED 7HY IT HAS RECEIVED SUCH PROMINENCE AMONGST MANY PEOPLE IS ITS USEFULNESS

IN DEBUNKING HOMOPHOBIA )T BECOMES VERY DIFlCULT TO CONDEMN SOMEONE FOR SOME THING THEY HAD NO CHOICE IN !LTHOUGH IN THIS RESPECT THE MYTH IS USEFUL IT MUST BE SAID THAT IT ALSO ROBS US OF OUR ABIL ITY TO CONSTRUE SEXUALITY AS A POSITIVE THING WHICH WE CAN TAKE PRIDE IN 3EXUALITY MUST BE REGARDED AS A CHOICE BECAUSE THAT IS THE ONLY WAY WE CAN TRULY DEFEAT PREJUDICE 7E MUST NOT SEEK TO HIDE BEHIND FANCY SCIENTIlC THEORIES WE SHOULD SIMPLY SAY THIS IS MY CHOICE 4HERE IS A SCIENTIlC CONSENSUS THAT THERE ARE A NUMBER OF FACTORS WHICH HELP SHAPE OUR SEXUAL ITY THESE INCLUDE CULTURE FAM ILY AND ENVIRONMENT (OWEVER NO CHOICE IS FREE OF INmUENCE 7E DO NOT MAKE PERFECTLY FREE CHOICES BUT CRUCIALLY WE STILL DO CHOOSE ) COULD NOT CHOOSE TO BE GAY BUT ) DO CHOOSE TO BE STRAIGHT AS THERE IS ALWAYS THE CHOICE NOT TO EMBRACE SEXUAL ITY 7HATEVER OUR SEXUAL PREF ERENCE WE SHOULD RECOGNIZE THEM AS CHOICES AND TAKE PRIDE IN WHAT WE HAVE DECIDED TO BE 4HAT IS THE ONLY WAY WE WILL EVER TRULY END PREJUDICE

Sexuality and Genetics ! HEATED DEBATE OVER THE EXISTENCE OF A @GAY GENE EMERGED FROM A REPORT PUBLISHED IN THE JOURNAL 3CIENCE BY THEN .)( RESEARCH ER $EAN (AMER 0H$ 4HAT STUDY LINKED $.! MARKERS ON THE 8 CHROMOSOME TO MALE SEXUAL ORIENTATION (OWEVER THE RESULTS WERE QUESTIONED BY OTHER RESEARCHERS WITH NONE ABLE TO REPLICATE (AMER S RESULTS 4HE DEBATE GOES ON TO THIS DAY WITH RESEARCH ERS UNABLE TO lND THE ELUSIVE GENE BUT ALSO UNABLE TO CONCLUSIVELY PROVE IT COULD NOT EX IST

%MMELINE 3AUNDERS /PINIONS %DITOR )T GOES ALMOST WITHOUT SAYING THAT SEXUALITY IS FAR TOO COM PLEX TO BE A RESULT OF JUST ONE SET OF RULES WHETHER THAT IS GENES EXPERIENCES OR CHOICES (OWEVER THOSE WHO FERVENT LY DENY ANY OTHER INmUENCE ON SEXUAL ORIENTATION OTHER THAN AN INDIVIDUAL S CHOICE DO NOT TAKE INTO ACCOUNT THE MASSIVE ARRAY OF SCIENTIlC EVIDENCE THAT COULD SUGGEST OTHERWISE 4RUE NO STUDIES HAVE YET FOUND A SINGLE GENE THAT COULD DElNITELY POINT TO A @CAUSE OF SEXUAL ORIENTATION BUT MANY HAVE DISCOVERED hSEVERAL GE NETIC REGIONSv WHICH hMAY INmUENCE HOMOSEXUALITYv IN THE WORDS OF "RIAN -US TANSKI 0H$ 4HIS IN ADDI TION TO COMMON SENSE AND A BRIEF LOOK AT RECENT SOCIAL HISTORY PROVES THAT A PERSON S SEXUAL ORIENTATION CANNOT BE WHOLLY INFORMED BY THEIR CHOICE 4AKE ANY COUNTRY YOU WANT IN ANY PART OF THE WORLD AT ANY TIME AND YOU CAN SEE THAT THOSE WHOSE SEX UALITY IS SEEN AS AT ODDS WITH

THAT OF MAINSTREAM SOCIETY FACE ADVERSITY )N "IBLE BELT !MERICA TODAY THERE ARE RE LIGIOUS CAMPS WHICH ATTEMPT TO @CURE GAY PEOPLE THROUGH THE POWER OF PRAYER AND FAITH WITH VERY LOW SUCCESS RATES HOW SHOCKING DESPITE THE !MERICAN 0SYCHOLOGICAL !SSOCIATION THE !MERICAN -EDICAL !SSOCIATION AND THE 53 3URGEON 'ENERAL WARNING THAT HOMOSEXUALITY IS NOT A hREVERSIBLE LIFESTYLE CHOICEv 3IMILARLY IT IS GENERALLY AC CEPTED THAT GAY PEOPLE WORRY ABOUT HURTING THEIR FRIENDS AND FAMILY BY COMING OUT n IF SEXUAL ORIENTATION REALLY WAS A CHOICE WOULD SO MANY PEOPLE CHOOSE TO BE GAY WITH ALL THE ANGST AND SOCIAL PREJU DICES THAT COME WITH IT 9OU CANNOT CHOOSE TO BE GAY STRAIGHT OR BISEXUAL ANY MORE THAN YOU CAN CHOOSE TO BE LEFT HANDED BLUE EYED OR BORN OF %SKIMO PARENTS 4HESE THINGS ARE WRITTEN IN OUR GENETICS 4HERE IS ONE THING WE CAN CHANGE THOUGH AND THAT IS THE INTOLERANCE OF OTHERS THROUGH EDUCATION AND BY BEING PROUD OF WHO AND WHAT WE ARE

The Blunderer !LEX 0ARTRIDGE /PINIONS 7RITER 7E "RITISH LIKE TO THINK WE ARE AS A NATION FAIRLY ECCEN TRIC /UR ELECTIONS ARE NO DIF FERENT ECCENTRICITY ABOUNDS 4AKE THIS YEAR S ,ONDON MAYORAL ELECTION FOR INSTANCE "ORIS *OHNSON KNOWN FOR HIS AFFAIRS AND ABILITY TO OFFEND ANYONE VERSUS +EN ,IVING STON A VETERAN SOCIALIST NEWT FANCIER 4HEN YOU VE GOT OUR 'ENERAL %LECTIONS WHERE WE LET PARTIES THAT ARE CLEARLY LESS THAN SERIOUS LIKE THE -ONSTER 2AVING ,OONY 0ARTY AND THE #ONSERVATIVES TAKE PART ON AN EVEN PLAYING lELD WITH THE REAL PARTIES 4HE !MERICANS LIKE TO DO THINGS BIGGER BRASHER AND WACKIER THAN THE REST OF THE WORLD AND THIS YEAR S 0RESI DENTIAL ELECTION IS NO DIFFER ENT 4AKE 2EPUBLICAN HOPE FUL 2UDY 'IULIANI !S WELL AS HAVING JUST ONE CAMPAIGN IS SUE IT BEGINS WITH NINE AND ENDS IN ELEVEN HE ALSO HAS HAD A COMPLICATED PERSONAL LIFE (E HAD HIS lRST MARRIAGE ANNULLED AFTER HE DISCOVERED THAT HIS WIFE OF FOURTEEN YEARS WAS HIS SECOND COUSIN (E S SINCE MARRIED TWICE MORE HAD NUMEROUS AFFAIRS AND WHILE SEPARATED FROM HIS SEC OND WIFE LIVED IN THE APART MENT OF TWO GAY FRIENDS (OW ABOUT 2EPUBLICAN CANDIDATE 2ON 0AUL WHO WANTS A RETURN TO THE GOLD STANDARD AND COUNTS PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE WAS ORCHES TRATED BY THE GOVERNMENT AT THE BEHEST OF SHAPE SHIFTING LIZARDS AS HIS MOST VOCIFEROUS SUPPORTERS 3TAYING WITH THE PARANORMAL THERE S $EMO CRATIC CHALLENGER $ENNIS +U CINICH WHO NOT ONLY LOOKS LIKE AN OTHERWORLDLY BEING BUT ALSO CLAIMS TO HAVE SEEN A 5&/ 4HE MADDEST ASPECT OF THIS YEAR S 53 ELECTION HAS TO HAVE BEEN AFTER FUNDAMEN TALIST #HRISTIAN PREACHER AND BASSIST -IKE (UCKABEE A MAN WHO DOESN T BELIEVE IN EVOLU TION WON IN )OWA !T HIS CAM PAIGN RALLY IN THE BACKGROUND WAS ACTOR MARTIAL ARTS EXPERT AND TEDIOUS INTERNET RUNNING GAG #HUCK .ORRIS "EAT THAT "ORIS

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New Â Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Â Resolutions

All Â Tomorrowâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Â Parties

*ANUARY CAN BE AN ANTI CLIMAX AFTER #HRISTMAS WHEN WE HAVE EATEN OURSELVES FAT AND SPENT OURSELVES POOR :AINEB :EB +HAN EXPLORES OUR RITUALISTIC BEHAVIOUR OF MAKING .EW 9EAR S RESOLUTIONS WE CANNOT KEEP

-INEHEAD (OLIDAY #AMP IN $ECEMBER OF LAST YEAR WAS HOST TO THE ECLECTIC MUSIC FESTIVAL KNOWN AS @!LL 4OMORROW S 0ARTIES -AX 'ORDON REm ECTS ON HIS TIME AT THE !40 FESTIVAL HIGHLIGHTING SOME OF THE BIZARRE AND VARIED ACTS ON OFFER

N 3IR "ILLY "UTLIN OPENED HIS l RST HOLIDAY CAMP IN 3KEGNESS IN ORDER TO PROVIDE ECONOMICAL HOLIDAYS FOR FAMILIES IN THE 5NITED +INGDOM /VER THE NEXT THIRTY YEARS NINE "UTLINS RESORTS WERE CONSTRUCTED ALTHOUGH NOW ONLY THREE ARE OPERATED BY THE COMPANY 4HE -INEHEAD CAMP WAS THE LARGEST OF THEM ALL AND IS CONVENIENTLY SITUATED ON A m AT SEASIDE LANDSCAPE WITH ACCOMMODATING RAIL LINKS FROM NEARBY 4AUNTON "UTLINS RESORTS ARE OF COURSE KNOWN FOR THEIR KITSCH OVER ENTHUSIASTIC SEASIDE AESTHETIC UNCONVINCING CHALETS THAT DON T MATCH THE COSY PICTURES AND FOR BEING JUST TOO CLOSE TO HOME FOR A PROPER HOLIDAY "UT NONE OF THIS MATTERED FOR THE THOUSANDS BUSSING THEIR WAY INTO THE INAUSPICIOUS -INEHEAD HOLIDAY CAMP ON A BITTER &RIDAY IN $ECEMBER LAST YEAR BECAUSE THIS WAS THE BEGINNING OF @!LL 4OMORROW S 0ARTIES 4HURSTON -OORE OF 3ONIC 9OUTH HIMSELF SOMETHING OF A REGULAR FEATURE OF THE FESTIVAL OVER THE YEARS HAS CALLED IT hTHE ULTIMATE MIX TAPEv %ACH EVENT IS CURATED BY A GUEST BAND OR ARTIST Â&#x2C6; NOT NECESSARILY A MUSICIAN -ATT 'ROENING AND *AKE AND $INOS #HAPMAN HAVE BEEN IN CHARGE BEFORE #ALLING THE SHOTS THIS WINTER WAS 0ORTISHEAD FROM NEARBY "RISTOL 4HE LINE UP WAS A STRANGE MIX OF THEIR PERSONAL FRIENDS MUSICAL FAVOURITES AND REGULAR !40 l XTURES 0ERHAPS SURPRISINGLY THE DOMINANT THEME OF THE WEEKEND WAS HEAVY DRONING ROCK FROM THE LIKES OF 3UNN / %ARTH /M AND 'ONGA ALL OF WHOM SOUND AS DENSE AND NOISY AS THEIR MONOSYLLABIC NAMES SUGGEST "UT THERE WAS ALSO A DECIDEDLY INDIE EDGE TO MUCH OF THE MUSIC TOO WITH GROUPS SUCH AS -ALCOLM -IDDLETON AND !UTOLUX NOT TO MENTION HIP HOP FROM 7U 4ANG S ':! 'ENIUS AND -ADLIB AND A HOST OF MAVERICK PERFORMERS LIKE THIS YEAR S FESTIVAL FAVOURITE BLUESMAN 3EASICK 3TEVE AND PERENNIALLY BRILLIANT ROCKSTAR CUM ANTIQUARIAN *ULIAN #OPE 4HE CROWD OF COURSE LAPPED UP THIS ECLECTICISM 4HEIR EDUCATED MIDDLE CLASS TOLERANCE WAS THE EXACT REQUIREMENT OF THIS FESTIVAL WHOSE FUNCTION IS ESSENTIALLY TO CATER TO THE TYPE OF AUDIENCE WHO WANTS TO MAINTAIN AN UNDERGROUND MUSIC FAN

EW 9EAR S R E S O L U T I O N S ARE A STRANGE PHENOMENA 4HEY ARE AN INTEGRAL PART OF OUR BIZARRE CUSTOMS YET WE MAKE THEM WITHOUT THINKING 4HE MAJORITY OF RESOLUTIONS ARE MADE AS A CONSEQUENCE OF WHAT WE HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO ACHIEVE THAT YEAR A SIMPLE WAY OF ORGANISING A TO DO LIST FOR THE YEAR AHEAD )T IS ODD THAT THEY ARE MADE IN

NATURE OF $ECEMBER AND THUS THEY FEEL THE NEED TO RESOLVE THEIR ISSUES 4HIS WORKS VERY WELL IN THEORY YET NOT SO MUCH IN PRACTICE 7HEN PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO BECOME FITTER THEY MAY JOIN A GYM HOWEVER DUE

GOES UP IN *ANUARY HOWEVER FEW PEOPLE STICK WITH IT AND SO GYM MEMBERSHIP GOES DOWN BY -ARCH AND PEOPLE ARE STUCK IN THEIR CUL DE SAC OF PROBLEMS 4HE MISTAKE PEOPLE MAKE

h-ANY PEOPLE ARE IN A SELF LOATHING STATE OF MIND AFTER THE GLUTTONOUS NATURE OF $ECEMBER AND THUS THEY FEEL THE NEED TO RESOLVE THEIR ISSUES 4HIS WORKS VERY WELL IN THEORY HOWEVER YET NOT SO MUCH IN PRACTICE v *ANUARY /F COURSE THIS IS THE MARK OF THE .EW 9EAR AND SO IT MAKES SENSE BUT IN "RITAIN IT JUST DOES NOT SEEM CREDIBLE TO MAKE PROMISES AT THIS POINT ,OSING WEIGHT FOR INSTANCE REQUIRES EATING HEALTHILY .OW ) MAY BE ALONE IN THIS BUT ) WOULD MUCH PREFER HAVING A SALAD IN THE SUMMER WHEREAS IN WINTER ) CRAVE WARM COMFORT FOODS WHICH TO BE HONEST ARE NOT AS HEALTHY )N ADDITION MOST PEOPLE EAT MORE IN THE WINTER SIMPLY BECAUSE IT KEEPS YOU WARMER OR HELPS ALLEVIATE THE BOREDOM OF CONSTANTLY BEING INSIDE 4HERE ARE A FEW REASONS WHY MAKING .EW 9EAR S RESOLUTIONS IN *ANUARY SEEMS TO BE THE LOGICAL CHOICE APART FROM THE OBVIOUS -ANY PEOPLE ARE IN A SELF LOATHING STATE OF MIND AFTER THE GLUTTONOUS

TO THE FACT PEOPLE GUILT THEMSELVES IN GOING TO THE GYM RATHER THAN ACTUALLY WANTING TO THEY ARE LESS LIKELY TO SUCCEED AT LOSING WEIGHT 'YM MEMBERSHIP SUDDENLY

WHEN ATTEMPTING TO LOSE WEIGHT IS THAT THEY WILL PROMISE THEMSELVES TO GO TO THE GYM AT LEAST FIVE TIMES A WEEK INSTEAD OF ACCLIMATISING THEMSELVES )T IS EXACTLY THE

SAME AS EXPECTING TO BE FLUENT IN -ANDARIN IN A MONTH ) HAVE NEVER MET ANYONE WHO HAS KEPT A .EW 9EAR S RESOLUTION AND IT SEEMS TO BE A GROWING TREND TO NOT MAKE ANY AT ALL 4HERE ARE THOSE THAT MAKE THEM BUT REFUSE TO LET ANYONE KNOW SO NO ONE KNOWS IF THEY FAIL WHICH MAY SEEM LIKE A GREAT IDEA BUT YOU ARE SIMULTANEOUSLY LOSING A NETWORK OF PEERS WHO MAY ENCOURAGE YOU !LSO ONE OF YOUR PEERS MAY BE THINKING ABOUT DOING THE SAME SO THIS MAY PUSH YOU TO KEEP TO YOUR RESOLUTION /THERS MAKE VERY GENERIC RESOLUTIONS FOR EXAMPLE TO LOSE WEIGHT OR BE A BETTER PERSON (OW ON EARTH DOES ONE GO ABOUT BEING A BETTER PERSON 7HEN RESEARCHING FOR THIS ARTICLE ) CAME ACROSS MANY WEBSITES CLAIMING THEY HAD ALL THE ANSWERS TO HELPING YOU KEEP YOUR .EW 9EAR S RESOLUTIONS WHATEVER THEY MAY BE EVEN IF YOU WANTED TO BECOME A BETTER PERSON THEY HAD THE ANSWERS )N ALL HONESTY IT SEEMED TO BE TAKING THE NOTION OF .EW 9EAR S RESOLUTIONS A LITTLE TOO FAR AS ) BELIEVE IT SHOULD NOT BE A .EW 9EAR S RESOLUTION TO MAKE THEM SELF IMPROVEMENT SHOULD NOT BE SO DIFFICULT 4HE CLUE IS TO KEEP THINGS SIMPLE MAYBE JUST TO KEEP THE ONE RATHER THAN A LIST OF THEM )F YOU ARE DETERMINED ENOUGH YOU WILL KEEP THEM SO IT IS NOT NECESSARY FOR SITES TO BE ADVERTISING HOW YOU SHOULD GO ABOUT THEM 4HE MAJORITY OF RESOLUTIONS ARE FAIRLY SIMPLE &OR INSTANCE IF YOU WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT STOP EATING SO MUCH RUBBISH AND GO FOR A RUN )T IS IMPORTANT TO KEEP .EW 9EAR S RESOLUTIONS HOWEVER )N ADDITION TO BEING SOMETHING PEOPLE TAKE FOR GRANTED AND DO NOT THINK ABOUT THEY REFLECT ONE OF THE MAIN FACETS OF HUMAN NATURE HOPE )T IS IMPORTANT TO KEEP HOPING FOR THINGS AND WANTING TO IMPROVE ONESELF AS THE DAY EVERYONE WILL BE HAPPY WITH THEMSELVES IS FAR FROM NOW 7HETHER IT IS LEARNING A NEW LANGUAGE VOLUNTEERING FOR A CHARITY OR SIMPLY EATING MORE VEGETABLES THINK ABOUT SOMETHING YOU WOULD LIKE TO DO TO IMPROVE YOURSELF THIS YEAR )T IS UNNECESSARY TO MAKE .EW 9EAR S RESOLUTIONS IN *ANUARY ALONE )F IT TAKES YOUR FANCY TO MAKE THEM IN *UNE YOU ARE STILL MAKING YOURSELF A BETTER PERSON AND THAT IN ITSELF IS FAR BETTER THAN CONFORMING TO RITUALISTIC PROMISES WHICH PEOPLE DO NOT GENERALLY

THINK ABOUT )F YOU HAVE BY ANY CHANCE BEEN RACKING YOUR BRAINS FOR A .EW 9EAR S RESOLUTION ) HAVE COMPILED A LIST FOR THE STUDENT OF TODAY 7AKE UP BEFORE NOON AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK +EEP TO DEADLINES 4RY AND HAVE YOUR FIVE A DAY OR AT LEAST ONE A DAY ) STILL CANNOT WORK OUT WHETHER OR NOT WINE COUNTS TOWARDS THIS 4HE SAFE ASSUMPTION IS THAT IT DOES HOWEVER RED AND WHITE DO NOT COUNT FOR A BALANCED DIET $O YOUR WASHING BEFORE YOUR LAUNDRY BASKET OR FLOOR STARTS SMELLING LIKE A RAT HAS DIED IN IT !BOVE ALL HAVE A GOOD TIME AFTER ALL WE RE ONLY AT UNIVERSITY ONCE (APPY .EW 9EAR TO ALL AND GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR RESOLUTIONS WHETHER YOU MAKE THEM NOW OR IN TWO MONTHS TIME

4OP .EW 9EAR S 2ESOLUTIONS 3PEND MORE TIME WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS %XERCISE REGULARLY ,OSE WEIGHT 1UIT SMOKING %NJOY LIFE MORE 1UIT DRINKING 'ET OUT OF DEBT ,EARN SOMETHING NEW (ELP OTHERS 'ET ORGANISED

)

CREDIBILITY WITHOUT HAVING TO WADE THROUGH MUD PUT UP A TENT OR STAND IN THE COLD INCLEMENT WEATHER OF THE "RITISH )SLES AND ON THIS WEEKEND IN -INEHEAD IT WAS LIKE A MISERABLE DAY AT THE .ORTH 0OLE 4HE CROWD AT @!LL 4OMORROW S 0ARTIES WAS THE SAME CROWD MORE OR LESS AS AT THE LAST !40 FESTIVAL

FESTIVAL BUT IT WAS KEPT WITHIN THE REALMS OF SENSIBILITY AND BY AND LARGE THE ORDER OF THE WEEKEND WAS CIDER AND LAGER )F YOU WANTED TO BE AT THE FRONT FOR A PERFORMANCE ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS GO UP TO THE FRONT BECAUSE THERE WAS NO MOSHING NO BOISTEROUS OVER EXCITEMENT AND NO ANTI SOCIAL BEHAVIOUR "UT THIS IS

PERFECTLY SUBVERTED BY THE SILVER SEQUINNED MEDIEVAL CLOAKS THEY WEAR ONSTAGE Â&#x2C6; ASSURED THAT THEY OUTSHONE SOME OF THE MORE TAKE IT SERIOUS METAL ACTS OF THE FESTIVAL ,IKE ALL OF THE BANDS THEY WERE AVAILABLE FOR A CHAT WHILE MILLING AROUND AFTERWARDS AND THEY SAID WOULD LOVE TO COME BACK TO 5%!

#HROME (OOF IN THEIR METALLIC MEDIEVAL CLOAKS WHOSE MUSIC SPANS SEVERAL DIVERGE MUSIC GENRES SUCH AS METAL ELECTRO AND DISCO

h4HERE WAS NO PUSHING OR SHOVING AND RELATIVELY LITTLE DANCING WITH THE EXCEPTION OF TWO SETS OF RELENTLESS DANCE MUSIC AND @SCREW YOU NOISE DISINTEGRATION FROM THE ALMIGHTY !PHEX 4WIN v 4HERE WAS NO PUSHING OR SHOVING AND RELATIVELY LITTLE DANCING WITH THE EXCEPTION OF TWO SETS OF RELENTLESS DANCE MUSIC AND @SCREW YOU NOISE DISINTEGRATION FROM THE ALMIGHTY !PHEX 4WIN 4HERE WAS SOME DRUG TAKING AS THERE IS BOUND TO BE AT A

NOT TO SAY THAT IT WAS STERILE )T IS A SMALL FESTIVAL MADE UP OF A FEW INTIMATE VENUES 4HE ATMOSPHERE IS ONE OF GOOD NATURED CALM POLITENESS Â&#x2C6; YOU CAN FORGET THE EXCITED RABBLE OF THE BIG OUTDOOR FESTIVALS LIKE 2EADING AND ,EEDS Â&#x2C6; AND THIS SUITED EVERYBODY l NE )T SUITED MORE THAN JUST THE FANS TOO /NE OF THE EXCITING BITS ABOUT THIS LITTLE WEEKEND AWAY WAS THAT THE MUSICIANS BY AND LARGE WERE LIVING IN THE SAME LITTLE "UTLINS CHALETS AS THE HOI POLLOI #OLIN 'REENWOOD OF 2ADIOHEAD WAS SEEN WANDERING AROUND Â&#x2C6; PROMPTING IMMEDIATE AND RECKLESSLY HOPEFUL RUMOURS THAT THE ACT TO BE CONl RMED AT THE END OF THE 3UNDAY WAS SOMETHING VERY SPECIAL INDEED Â&#x2C6; AND OF COURSE ARTISTS WHO WERE TAKING TO THE STAGE AT ONE POINT WOULD BE IN THE AUDIENCE AT THE NEXT 4HIS ROCK AND ROLL POPULISM WAS EMBODIED BEST BY SURPRISE SHOW STEALERS #HROME (OOF 4HEIR COLLECTIVE STYLE GROUPING Â&#x2C6; THERE ARE AT LEAST EIGHT PERMANENT MEMBERS AND A HOST OF OCCASIONAL GUESTS Â&#x2C6; AND THEIR SELF ASSURED SILLINESS Â&#x2C6; THEIR RAUCOUS PROG DANCE THRASH METAL

h7E WANT THE STUDENTS ON OUR SIDE v ,OLA THEIR !MAZONIAN LEAD SINGER TOLD ME

4HE BIGGEST DRAWBACK OF BEING SITUATED IN "UTLINS IS THAT THE NEAREST DECENT SHOPS WERE MORE THAN A WALK AWAY AND CLOSED DURING THE HOURS MUSICIANS WERE NOT PERFORMING AND GETTING OUT OF A REAL BED IN THE MORNING WAS A LOT MORE DIFl CULT AFTER A NIGHT OF DRINKING THAN DECIDING TO EXIT A TENT OVEN AS IS NECESSARY IN THE BIG OUTDOOR SUMMER FESTIVALS "UT THE CHARM OF THIS LITTLE WEEKEND AWAY IS PRECISELY IN THE DIFFERENCE OF EXPERIENCE COMING AT VARIOUS TIMES THROUGHOUT THE YEAR THIS IS A FESTIVAL APART FROM THE HOST OF BIG SUMMER EVENTS AND ONE THAT CHANGES BASED ON THE VIBRANT ASSORTMENT OF CURATORS FROM WHICH IT HAS BENEl TED OVER THE YEARS 4HE NEXT EVENT IN -ARCH IS HOSTED BY POST ROCKERS %XPLOSIONS IN THE 3KY AND THERE IS ONE IN -AY BEING CO HOSTED BY !40 AND POPULAR MUSIC REVIEW SITE 0ITCHFORK /VER THE NEXT FEW MONTHS THE !40 ORGANISERS WILL ALSO BE PUTTING ON A SELECTION OF ,ONDON CONCERTS INCLUDING PERFORMANCES FROM CANONICAL FAVOURITES 4HE *ESUS AND -ARY #HAIN AND -Y "LOODY 6ALENTINE AS WELL AS MORE RECENT SUCCESSES LIKE #AT 0OWER AND ,OW 4HIS IS AN ORGANISATION THAT KNOWS HOW TO PROVIDE FOR THE DISCERNING INDIE ROCK AUDIENCE Â&#x2C6; IN FACT EARLIER THIS YEAR AN !40 EVENT BOASTED A LINEUP THAT WAS ACTUALLY VOTED FOR BY THE ATTENDEES Â&#x2C6; AND A BLOSSOMING LITTLE BUSINESS THAT IS HELPING TO RESHAPE WHAT WE THINK OF AS A MUSIC FESTIVAL

'LENN "RANCA WHO BUILT SEVERAL ELECTRICALLY AMPLIl ED INSTRUMENTS OF HIS OWN INVENTION EXPANDING HIS ENSEMBLE BEYOND THE GUITAR

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Sing your heart out &EEL THAT YOU HAVE SEEN ENOUGH OF THE ,#2 #AN T BEAR THE THOUGHT OF ANOTHER TRIP TO THE CINEMA !N ALTERNATIVE HAS ARRIVED AND -ARCUS *ONES WARMS UP HIS VOCAL CORDS FOR A TRIP TO 3ING 3ING .ORWICH S NEW KARAOKE CLUB

OST PEO PLE HAVE TO BE SIG NIFICANT LY DRUNK OR LIKE VAST SWATHES OF 8 &ACTOR ENTRIES SIGNIFICANTLY SELF DELUDED TO ATTEMPT ANY FORM OF KARAOKE /F COURSE THERE ARE THOSE THAT ARE AC TUALLY QUITE GOOD SINGERS BUT THAT MEANS THEY ARE /+ TO PERFORM IN FRONT OF OTH ER HUMAN BEINGS BECAUSE THEIR PRIDE MIGHT JUST RE MAIN IN TACT &OR THE REST OF US IF WE ARE NEITHER DRUNK NOR DELUDED SINGING TO ANY SORT OF AUDIENCE IS UNLIKELY AS THE PROSPECT OF CHRONIC LIFELONG EMBARRASSMENT IS ONLY TOO REAL 5NTIL NOW 4HE TIME FOR SHOWER SINGING AND MUTED MELODIES IS NOW OVER WITH THE ARRIVAL OF 3ING 3ING IN .ORWICH 4HE NEW NIGHT SPOT ADOPTS THE *APANESE APPROACH TO KARAOKE HIRE OUT A ROOM AND JUST SING IN FRONT OF YOUR MATES !S $AN 0ERRY 'ENERAL -ANAGER EX PLAINS hWE SET THE 6ENUE UP AS A RESULT OF SEEING HOW ENTERTAINING SOME OF THE

AND ALLOW THEM TO LISTEN AS YOU REALLY MAKE &RANK 3I NATRA S .EW 9ORK .EW 9ORK YOUR OWN !LSO THE COME DOWN AFTERWARDS BORDERS ON THE DISHEARTENING n YOU REMEMBER YOU CANNOT REAL LY SING AND THOSE SCREAMING FANS WERE ALL IN YOUR HEAD 5LTIMATELY DOES IT REALLY MATTER THOUGH .O "ECAUSE FOR THAT HOUR FOR THAT FLEET ING MOMENT OF TIME YOU WERE &REDDIE -ERCURYx AND -ICK *AGGER AND !DAM !NT AND YES EVEN 3HANIA 4WAIN 3ING 3ING ADDS AN ENJOY ABLY DIFFERENT ELEMENT TO YOUR OPTIONS FOR AN EVENING OUT IN .ORWICH AND FOR FULL PRICE LISTS BOOKING FORMS AND FURTHER INFORMATION VISIT THEIR RE VAMPED WEB SITE AT WWW SINGSING JP *APANESE STYLE VENUES WERE THEY HAVE A CULTURE WHICH MEANS THEY SING AFTER WORK AS A WIND DOWN OUR CLIENTS TEND TO ENJOY A LITTLE MORE MAYHEM THAN THAT v .O LONGER SHOULD THERE BE THE FEAR OF BOOING AND CAT WHISTLES ALTHOUGH THAT

Great news for Belly Dancers!

All your dancing needs with a great selection of beautiful hand-‐crafted costumes, accessories and instructional DVDs are available now at Sahara House. Also, plus size kaftans, fashion accessories and bags.

Discounts for students!

Call 07783 124 381

Sahara House, 70A King Street, Norwich

MIGHT DEPEND ON WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE NO WORRIES ABOUT FORGETTING THE WORDS JUST YOU AND A SELECT GROUP OF SINGING COMRADES IN A SOUND PROOF ROOM WITH OVER TUNES AT YOUR MERCY &OR ME A MAN BLESS ED WITH NO SINGING VOICE BUT WHO CRAVES ATTENTION THIS SEEMED A GLORIOUS OP PORTUNITY FOR VOCAL FULFIL MENT (ANDILY SITUATED ON 0RINCE OF 7ALES 2OAD 3ING 3ING OFFERS A GOOD LOCATION TO START AN EVENING OUT BE FORE MOVING ON TO THE VARI OUS CLUBS IN THE AREA (OW EVER WITH ROOM CAPACITIES EXTENDING FROM THREE TO FIFTEEN PEOPLE PRICES ARE a PER PERSON PER HOUR IT ALSO LENDS ITSELF TO PARTY OC CASIONS OR JUST A NIGHT OUT WITH YOUR HOUSEMATES THAT IS A BIT OF A CHANGE FROM THE NORM "OOKING IS NECESSARY AND UPON YOUR ARRIVAL YOU WILL INITIALLY BE SHOWN INTO THE BAR AREA WHERE YOU CAN GRAB A QUICK BIT OF $UTCH COURAGE BEFORE BEING LED DOWNSTAIRS TO THE BOOTHS !FTER YOUR EYES HAVE ADJUST ED TO THE ATMOSPHERIC LIGHT ING AND YOU VE ENTERTAINED YOURSELF BY JUMPING INTO THE PADDED WALLS COYNESS WILL PROBABLY RETURN TO THE GROUP 3UDDENLY IT DOES NOT

SEEM SUCH A GOOD IDEA AND YOU BECOME CONSCIENCE OF YOUR VOICE RISING AN OCTAVE OR TWO WITHOUT ANY MUSI CAL PROVOCATION (OPEFULLY SOMEONE WILL PLUCK UP THE CONFIDENCE TO SING FIRST EITHER THAT OR THEY REALISE YOU VE ONLY GOT AN HOUR SO YOU HAD BETTER CRACK ON 4HE TOUCH SCREEN PANEL IS EASY TO USE IN ORDER TO LOCATE YOUR TRACK OF CHOICE AND ALTHOUGH YOU MAY BE DISAPPOINTED WITH A FEW AB SENTEES HOW CAN THEY NOT HAVE 2ED ,IGHT 3PELLS $AN GER BY "ILLY /CEAN THERE ARE CERTAINLY ENOUGH SONGS TO SEE YOU THROUGH AN HOUR )N FACT PUTTING THE MICRO PHONE DOWN AFTER ONLY

MINUTES WAS TOO DIFFICULT FOR ME AND ) FORKED OUT FOR ANOTHER HOUR IN A DES PERATE BID TO REMAIN A POP STAR FOR JUST A LITTLE LONGER 3TAFF WILL STICK THEIR HEAD ROUND THE DOOR ON A COUPLE OF OCCASIONS TO TAKE ANY DRINKS ORDERS AND PROBABLY GIVE YOU A FUNNY LOOK AS YOU ARE ON YOUR KNEES IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR RENDITION OF -ICHAEL *ACKSON S %ARTH 3ONG BUT BY THAT POINT YOU ARE IN THE ZONE SO IT BARELY REGIS TERS ON YOUR ROCK RADAR 4WO WORDS OF WARNING THOUGH THE MOBILE CON NECTION IS VIRTUALLY NON EXISTENT SO YOU CANNOT RING UP YOUR OTHER MATES

Sing-Sing Top 10 :UTONS 6ALERIE ,EONA ,EWIS -OMENT ,IKE 4HIS +AISER #HIEFS 2UBY 'IRLS !LOUD ,OVE -ACHINE %AGLES (OTEL #ALIFORNIA 'UNS . 2OSES 3WEET #HILD / -INE #OMMITMENTS -USTANG 3ALLY 4HE 7HO 0INBALL 7IZARD 7ILL 9OUNG ,IGHT -Y &IRE 'REEN $AY "ASKET #ASE

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CONCRETE EDITOR

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" -"

Girl Power

!NI $I&RANCO ONCE SAID h7HY DON T ALL DECENT MEN AND WOMEN CALL THEMSELVES FEMINISTS OUT OF RESPECT FOR THOSE WHO FOUGHT FOR THIS v 4HIS SEMESTER WHY NOT GET IN VOLVED WITH SOMETHING A BIT DIF FERENT 7E RE NOT GOING TO HAVE INITIATIONS WE RE NOT GOING TO GET WASTED ON OUR SOCIALS AND WE RE NOT GOING TO BE QUIET WELCOME TO 7OMEN S 3OC 4HIS IS A BIT OF A STRANGE SOCIETY TO BE FOCUSSING ON AS IT DOESN T EX IST YET BUT CONSIDER THIS YOUR IN VITATION TO GET INVOLVED FROM THE VERY BEGINNING OF 7OMEN S 3OC

7OMEN S 3OC IS BEING INSTI GATED BY *ENNIFER A FEMALE STU DENT WHO WANTS TO GIVE FEMINISM A GOOD NAME )T S HARD TO GIVE AN OUTLINE OF WHAT 7OMEN S 3OC S MAIN AIMS AND ACTIVITIES WILL BE BECAUSE SHAPING THE SOCIETY IS GO ING TO BE DOWN TO YOU 4O RAISE AWARENESS OF 7OMEN S 3OC AND ITS CREATION WE ARE PUTTING A QUESTION TO THE $EBATE 3OCIETY AND WOULD LOVE FOR YOU TO COME ALONG TO JOIN IN THE DISCUSSION @$OES USING A PROSTITUTE MAKE YOU A RAPIST ,OOK OUT FOR US AT 3OC-ART IF YOU WANT TO GET INVOLVED /R EMAIL UEAWOMENSOC GOOGLEMAIL COM !MY 7ILSON

“Beer is made by men, wine by God!” 4HERE ARE SOME PEOPLE WHO LIKE TO APPRECIATE THE lNER THINGS IN LIFE GOOD FOOD AND MOST IMPORTANTLY lNE WINE !NGUS (OLBURN INTRODUCES US TO THE SOCIETY AIMED TO OFFER THESE PEOPLE EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT

&EMINISM .OT JUST FOR GIRLS

!SK A 2OMAN AND HE WOULD SAY hBONUM VINUM LAETIlCAT COR HO MINISv 'OOD WINE GLADDENS A MAN S HEART ASK A 'REEK AND HIS REPLY WOULD BE hWHERE THERE IS NO WINE THERE IS NO LOVEv AND ASK 4HE "ARD AND HE WOULD SAY hGOOD COMPANY AND GOOD WINE CAN MAKE GOOD PEOPLEv 7INE HAS BEEN PART OF DIFFERENT SOCIETIES FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS AND SO ITS TIME WE ASKED OURSELVES WHY IS THERE A LACK OF APPRECIATION FOR WINE WITH IN OUR SOCIETY AT 5%! 7ELL FORTU NATELY THREE STUDENTS ARE ONE STEP AHEAD OF THE GAME AND HAVE SET UP THE 5%! #HEESE AND 7INE !PPRE CIATION 3OCIETY #!7!3 )T IS NOT OFTEN ) ADMIT TO BE WRONG BUT IN MY IGNORANCE ) THOUGHT DRINKING WINE AS A STUDENT WAS PRETENTIOUS AND EXPENSIVE BUT THANKS TO THE FOUNDING MEMBERS OF #!7!3 ) SEE THAT IT IS A SOCIABLE INEXPEN SIVE AND VERY ENJOYABLE WAY OF GETTING MERRY WITH YOUR MATES

4HE SOCIETY WAS STARTED IN THE #!7!3 (1 ON $EREHAM 2OAD BY THREE EXTRAORDINARY STUDENTS AND AS TIME HAS GONE BY ALL KINDS OF DIFFERENT PEOPLE HAVE WANTED TO GET INVOLVED ) WAS lRST INVITED LAST TERM WHEN ) WAS SOMEWHAT AP PREHENSIVE BUT ) WENT ALONG WITH LOTS OF WINE FROM 4ESCO AND HAD A GREAT NIGHTx ) SEEM TO REMEMBER #!7!3 ARE NOT PRETENDING TO BE WINE CONNOISSEURS QUITE THE OP POSITE 7E WANT PEOPLE WITH NO EXPERIENCE OF WINE TO COME ALONG AND JUST ENJOY DRINKING 4HERE WILL BE NO HEAVY DISSECTION OF EACH BOTTLE BUT A COMMENT PERHAPS AND AN OPPORTUNITY TO LEARN MORE AND DRINK A LOT ) HAVE ALSO FOUND THAT THE MORE PEOPLE WHO GET IN VOLVED THE CHEAPER AND MORE FUN IT IS SO DON T THINK THAT IT S A SLOW AND EXPENSIVE WAY OF GETTING TIPSY AS IT S SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT 4HE DAYS OF THE MAN ORDER ING THE WINE AND DINNER ARE OVER

WE WANT GIRLS AND BOYS TO COME ALONG AND JOIN THIS GREAT GROUP 4HE SOCIALS WILL BE AMAZING WHAT OTHER SOCIETY IS DEDICATED TO ALCO HOL AND STODGY FOOD -OREOVER MAYBE THE BEST PART OF #!7!3 IS THE PLACES THAT WE CAN GO ON CHEAP TOURSx &RANCE )TALY 3PAINx THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS AND AT THE END OF THE DAY IT IS JUST A VERY GOOD EXCUSE TO GO AWAY WITH FRIENDS LEARN MORE ABOUT WINE AND GET VERY JOLLY WHILE DOING SO 3O IN STEAD OF GETTING PURPLE LIPS FROM DRINKING ROUGH AND EXPENSIVE SNAKEBITE COME ALONG TO THE 5%! #HEESE AND 7INE 3OCIETY BECAUSE IN THE WORDS OF -ETAMORPHOSES hWINE GIVES COURAGE AND MAKES MEN ;AND WOMEN= MORE APT FOR PASSIONv 3O COME AND DRINK LIKE KINGS LIKE WARRIORS LIKE 'ODS !LL YOU NEED TO DO SO IS COME ALONG TO 3OC-ART AND SIGN UP TO 5%! S NEWEST SOCIETY

)NTERESTED IN BIGGING UP YOUR SOCIETY ON THESE HALLOWED PAGES )F YOUR SOCIETY IS PUTTING ON A SPECIAL EVENT OR YOU FEEL IT DESERVES A SPECIAL MENTION THEN EMAIL CONCRETE EDITOR UEA AC UK TO lND OUT ABOUT WRITING AN ARTICLE FOR &OC 3OC

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ÊÊÊÊÊ4UESDAY TH *ANUARY "

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Piste and joy to all mankind 4HE SEASON OF PEACE AND JOY MAY BE GONE FOR ANOTHER YEAR BUT ,IZZY %LLIOTT DISCOVERS THERE S NO BETTER WAY TO BLAST THE POST #HRISTMAS BLUES THAN HITTING THE SLOPES

OU CAN HARDLY PUT INTO WORDS THE SENSE OF FREEDOM AND SHEER TERROR THAT COMES FROM TEARING DOWN A MOUN TAIN SLOPE 4HE BREATHTAKING SCEN ERY MIXED WITH THE PICTURESQUE CHALETS AND ENOUGH BARS TO SEND YOU CRAWLING IN AT AN ABSURD HOUR OF THE MORNING IS WHY SKIING IS SOMETHING THAT MUST BE DONE AT LEAST ONCE IN YOUR LIFETIME 3KIING IS NOT SIMPLY FOR THE ADRENALINE JUNKIES WHO FEEL THE URGE TO THROW THEMSELVES OFF THE TOP OF MOUNTAINS ONLY TO LAND AT THE BOTTOM MINUS A SKI AND POS SIBLY A LIMB IT ACCOMMODATES FOR ALL PEOPLE WITH ANY LEVEL OF EXPE RIENCE %VEN FOR THOSE WHO FEEL THAT SKIING IS NOT THEIR FORTE THERE IS PLENTY TO DO OFF THE SLOPES 4HE 4HREE 6ALLEYS CONSISTING OF #OURCHEVEL -ERIBEL AND 6AL 4HORENS IS A PERFECT SKI RESORT FOR FAMILIES AS WELL AS STUDENTS )F THE CUISINE OF THE AREA IS IMPORTANT TO YOU THEN THIS RESORT OFFERS EVERY THING FROM GOURMET RESTAURANTS TO RUSTIC SLOPE SIDE EATERIES 4HERE IS USUALLY ALWAYS GREAT SNOW DUR ING THE #HRISTMAS AND %ASTER PE RIODS IT S VERY EASY TO GET TO AND THE ENDLESS MOUNTAIN TRAILS AND STORYBOOK VILLAGES ARE ENOUGH TO CAPTIVATE ANYONE 4HE 4HREE 6AL LEYS IS THE LARGEST INTERCONNECTED SKI REGION IN &RANCE ALL LINKED BY HUNDREDS OF KILOMETRES OF TRAILS AND A NETWORK OF HUNDREDS OF LIFTS (ERE TO TEST THE ABILITIES OF

EVEN THE EXPERT SKIER THERE IS A VIRTUALLY UNLIMITED RANGE OF OFF PISTE ITINERARIES OFFERING HEART STOPPING ADVENTURE #OURCHEVEL ALSO REFERS TO THE TOWNS OF #OURCHEVEL ,E 0RAZ #OURCHEVEL THE ORIGINAL #OURCHEVEL #OURCHEVEL -ORIOND AND #OURCHEVEL WHICH ARE NAMED FOR THEIR ALTITUDES IN METRES )T WAS CRE ATED IN AND HAS BECOME A FAVOURITE DESTINATION WITH RICH AND FAMOUS PEOPLE SEEKING A WIN TER HOLIDAY RETREAT 4HE "ECKHAMS ARE OFTEN SEEN IN #OURCHEVEL AND STARS SUCH AS 2ICHARD "RANSON AND 2OBBIE 7ILLIAMS ARE OFTEN SPOTTED STUMBLING OUT OF BARS IN :ERMATT &OR THOSE OF YOU WHO FANCY GOING ACROSS THE POND THERE IS PLENTY TO DO IN THE 53! )N PAR TICULAR RESORTS SUCH AS 7HISTLER "ANFF 6AIL "RECKENRIDGE AND ,AKE ,OUISE OFFER A SUPERB WINTER HOLIDAY EXPERIENCE )N #ANADA THE BEST SKIING CAN BE FOUND IN "RITISH #OLOMBIA AND AROUND THE #ANADIAN 2OCKIES !LL AREAS OFFER SOMETHING DIFFERENT AND THERE IS AN ENDLESS CHOICE OF MAGNIFICENT RESORTS )N SPITE OF THE MISCONCEP TION THAT !MERICAN SKI RESORTS ARE OVERCROWDED THERE ARE MORE THAN SIX HUNDRED SNOWY PLAYGROUNDS THAT ARE UNCONGESTED AND ALLOW SKIERS TO EXPLORE "ANFF LOCATED IN #ANADA HAS BEEN AROUND SINCE AND PROVIDES THREE SKI AREAS THAT HAVE MORE THAN TWO HUNDRED

AND FIFTY RUNS SPREAD OVER ACRES -OREOVER IT IS CONSISTENTLY RATED AS BEING THE TOP SKI DESTINA TION FOR SKIERS AS WELL AS SNOW BOARDERS )F GIVEN THE CHANCE DURING YOUR STAY IN #ANADA ) CAN THOR OUGHLY RECOMMEND EXPERIENCING A RIDE ON A HUSKY SLEDGE ) FOUND IT TO BE THE MOST AMAZING EXPERI ENCE OF MY STAY THE SHEER POWER OF THE DOGS AND THE BREATHTAKING TRACKS THAT TAKE YOU DEEP INTO THE MOUNTAINS WILL LEAVE A LASTING MEMORY

h9OU WILL NEED A GREAT DEAL OF PATIENCE WHEN YOU lRST START SKIING MOST OF YOUR TIME WILL BE SPENT ON THE mOORv 7HEN DECIDING THE DATES OF YOUR SKIING HOLIDAY IT IS IM PORTANT TO LOOK AT THE LENGTH OF THE SKI SEASON )T OFTEN VARIES BY MOUNTAIN AND BY LOCATION 4HE AVERAGE LENGTH OF A SKI SEASON IS FIVE SIX MONTHS BUT SOME MOUN TAINS ARE ABLE TO STAY OPEN LONGER DUE TO HIGHER ELEVATIONS COLDER

TEMPERATURES OR EXTENSIVE SNOW MAKING SYSTEMS 3KIING MID WEEK IS RECOMMENDED AS THE WEEKEND SEES AN INFLUX OF LOCALS USING THE PISTE WHICH IN ADDITION TO IN CREASING CONGESTION ON THE SLOPES AND LENGTHENING THE LIFT QUEUES WOULD NORMALLY BE EXPECTED TO IN CREASE THE PRICE OF YOUR LIFT PASS 4HERE ARE SO MANY DIFFER ENT TYPES OF ACCOMMODATION TO CHOOSE FROM WHEN SKIING VARYING FROM SELF CATERED CHALETS WHICH ARE PERFECT FOR FAMILIES ON A LOW BUDGET TO FIVE STAR HOTELS WITH STEAMING HOT TUBS ON THE ROOF OVERLOOKING THE MOUNTAINS 4HERE IS SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE 3PEAK ING FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE THE OVERWHELMING LACK OF IMPORTANCE ATTACHED TO ANYTHING BUT A COM FORTABLE BED AT THE END OF A LONG DAY S SKIING ENSURES THAT EVEN STAYING IN CHEAPER ACCOMMODA TION PROVIDES MORE THAN ADEQUATE FACILITIES FOR A GREAT HOLIDAY )N THE EVENINGS IT IS IMPOR TANT TO PICK SOMEWHERE THAT IS AS LIVELY OFF THE SLOPES AS IT IS ON THEM ,UCKILY WHETHER YOU WANT TO HAVE A HARD NIGHT OUT CLUBBING OR SIMPLY A COUPLE OF DRINKS OUT WITH FRIENDS THERE IS USUALLY A BAR TO CATER FOR EVERYONE S TASTE )T IS ALSO ESSENTIAL THAT YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENT TRAIL RATINGS SO THAT YOU ARE ABLE TO TAKE THE RUNS THAT ARE BEST SUITED TO YOUR ABILITY 'REEN #IRCLES OR SIMPLY GREEN ARE THE EASIEST TRAILS TO SKI 4HEY ARE GENERALLY WIDE GROOMED AND

WITH A GENTLE SLOPE "LUE SQUARE OR BLUE PISTES ARE CONSIDERED IN TERMEDIATE TRAILS THAT ARE STEEPER THAN BEGINNER TRAILS YET EASY ENOUGH FOR INTERMEDIATE SKIERS TO NAVIGATE 4HEY ARE POPULAR TRAILS AT MOST RESORTS BECAUSE THEY PROVIDE SKIING THAT S FUN BUT NOT SCARY "LACK DIAMONDS OR BLACK ARE FOR EXPERIENCED SKIERS THEY CAN BE STEEP NARROW OR UNGROOMED /THER CHALLENGES SUCH AS ICY CON DITIONS MAY CAUSE A TRAIL TO BE MARKED AS A "LACK $IAMOND -OST GLADES AND MOGUL TRAILS ARE "LACK $IAMONDS &INALLY THERE ARE DOU BLE BLACK DIAMONDS WHICH TEND TO BE FOUND ONLY IN !MERICA 4HEY ARE EXTREMELY DIFFICULT TRAILS THAT ARE RESERVED ONLY FOR EXPERT SKI ERS AS A RESULT OF HAZARDS SUCH AS AN EXTREMELY STEEP SLOPE DIFFICULT MOGULS GLADES OR DROP OFFS 4HESE RUNS SHOULD ONLY BE ATTEMPTED BY EXPERT SKIERS WHO HAVE THE ABILITY TO GET DOWN 3O FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE NOT HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO SKI IT IS DEFINITELY SOMETHING WORTH TRY ING 9OU WILL NEED A GREAT DEAL OF PATIENCE WHEN YOU FIRST START SKI ING AS YOU WILL FIND THAT MOST OF YOUR TIME WILL BE SPENT ON THE FLOOR $O NOT GIVE UP HOWEVER AS THESE FIRST DAYS OF SKIING MAKE FOR EXCELLENT APRES SKI STORYTELLING IN THE BAR &INALLY AS A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE ONCE SAID h3KIING IS THE ART OF CATCHING COLD AND GOING BROKE WHILE RAPIDLY HEADING NO WHERE AT GREAT PERSONAL RISK v

4RAVEL 4REEFROG S TANTALIZING TRAVEL TRIVIA .ORDIC 3KIING IS RECOGNISED AS THE OLDEST FORM OF SKIING AND IS THOUGHT TO HAVE EXISTED IN .ORWAY AS LONG AS YEARS AGO )N .ORSE MYTH SKIING WAS

INVENTED BY 3KADI THE GODDESS OF WINTER WHO USED SKIS AND SNOWSHOES TO TRAVEL THROUGH HER ICY DOMAIN IN THE SNOW COVERED MOUNTAINS 3OME SAY THE WORD @3CANDANAVIA IS DERIVED FROM HER NAME

* "/"Ê" Ê/ Ê ",/ / 4HIS FORTNIGHT S PHOTO WAS SENT IN BY 3ARAH (EMSTED AND SHOWS THE SUN SETTING OVER +OH -UK "EACH IN 4HAILAND +OH -UK IS A TINY ISLAND OFF THE WEST COAST OF THE COUNTRY AND IS HOME TO THE BEAUTIFUL %MERALD #AVE 4HE NAME OF THE CAVE COMES FROM THE EMERALD COLOUR THAT IS CREATED AS THE SUNLIGHT IS lLTERED THROUGH THE WATER 4HE CAVE IS ONLY ACCESSIBLE DURING LOW TIDE AND INSIDE IS A BREATHTAKING SECULDED WHITE SAND BEACH 7E STILL WANT YOUR TRAVEL PHOTOS 0LEASE SEND THEM ALONG WITH A SMALL EXPLANATION OF WHAT THEY SHOW TO CONCRETE TRAVEL GMAIL COM

" , / 4UESDAY TH *ANUARY ""

FOOD

CONCRETE ONLINE CO UK

New Â Year, Â new Â eating Â habits, Â new Â you? Â Time Â to Â detox? 'RACE 3IMPSON CONSIDERS THE PRACTICALITIES OF A .EW 9EAR DETOX DIET (OLIDAYS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE A BREAK FROM YOUR USUAL ROUTINE BUT MANY OF YOU MAY HAVE FOUND THAT #HRIST MAS WAS NOT A TIME TO RELENT FROM DAY AFTER DAY ON THE LASH AND OVER CONSUMPTION OF LESS THAN HEALTHY FOODS "EFORE EMBARKING ON A FULL SCALE NEW SEMESTER NEW LOAN OVER INDULGENT ALCOHOL EXTRAVAGANZA YOUR BODY WOULD APPRECIATE A DE TOX PREPARING ITSELF FOR A TORTUROUS NEW TERM AHEAD 4HE IDEA OF A DETOX DIET MAY CON JURE UP IDEAS OF STICK THIN TANGE RINE ORANGE #ALIFORNIANS TRYING OUT ONE FAD DIET AFTER ANOTHER BUT THIS DOES NOT HAVE TO BE THE CASE 4HE CONCEPT OF A DETOX DIET IS ESSENTIALLY ULTRA HEALTHY EATING AND AIDING YOUR BODY S NATURAL RECOVERY PROCESSES 4HIS MAY SEEM OBVIOUS BUT THE lRST STEP TO DETOXIlCATION IS ELIMI NATING ALL FOOD AND DRINK CONTAIN ING WHAT ARE KNOWN IN THE DIET WORLD AS hTOXINSv .O THIS DOESN T MEAN STOP DRINKING BLEACH BUT IF YOU ARE DOING SO ) WOULD RECOM MEND STOPPING THIS TOO !S WITH ANY DIET YOU ARE EXPECTED TO CUT

OUT CAFFEINE ALCOHOL UNNECESSARY SALTS AND SUGARS SUCH AS SWEETS CHOCOLATE CRISPS lZZY DRINKS AND ANY OTHER SNACK YOU FREQUENTLY TREAT YOURSELF WITH 2EADY MEALS ARE A NO NO AS IS WHEAT SO NO MORE OF THE STUDENT STAPLE PASTA UNLESS YOU ARE WILLING TO CONVERT TO WHOLEGRAIN 9OU MUST ALSO ATTEMPT TO CUT OUT DAIRY PRODUCTS AS THESE ARE RESPON SIBLE FOR SLOWING DOWN THE METABO LISM 2ED MEAT CHICKEN TURKEY AND PROCESSED MEATS SHOULD ALSO BE AVOIDED REPLACED BY lSH IN PARTIC ULAR SALMON 4HE MORE lSH YOU EAT THE BETTER AND DON T FORGET THAT OILY lSH IS PACKED WITH /MEGA A MUST FOR BRAIN USING STUDENTS 7ATER IS ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL TO A DETOX DIET IN ORDER TO WASH YOUR DI GESTIVE SYSTEMS AND REHYDRATE YOUR BODY AFTER TOO MUCH ALCOHOL AND SALTY FOODS OVER THE #HRISTMAS PE RIOD !IM TO DRINK TWO LITRES A DAY 4HIS IS EASILY DONE WHEN DIVIDED BETWEEN SMALL BOTTLES AND CARRIED AROUND WITH YOU 4HE BEST THING ABOUT WATER IS THAT IT IS FREE THERE IS NO NEED TO BOTHER WITH OVERPRICED

BOTTLES 6EGETABLES ARE IMPORTANT PARTICULARLY RAW VEGETABLES AS THESE RETAIN THE VITAMINS AND MINERALS THAT CAN BE LOST THROUGH COOKING 3NACK ON RAW CARROTS CUCUMBER AND CELERY TO REPLACE YOUR SALTY SNACKS WITH A DETOX FRIENDLY ALTERNATIVE 0ORRIDGE IS A GREAT WAY TO START YOUR DAY AS IT IS lLLED WITH COMPLEX CARBOHYDRATES THAT GIVE SUSTAINED ENERGY LEVELS UNTIL LUNCHTIME AND DOES NOT CONTAIN THE PLETHORA OF ADDITIVES THAT OTHER MORE POPULAR BREAKFASTS CEREALS DO /N YOUR lRST DAY OF DETOX YOU MAY STILL BE FEEL ING ROUGH AFTER THE FOUR WEEK LONG PARTY THAT IS #HRISTMAS )F SO ADD HONEY AND A SLICE OF FRESH LEMON TO A CUP OF BOILING WATER AND DRINK AWAY YOU WILL NEVER WASTE MONEY ON EXPENSIVE mU REMEDIES AGAIN 4O KEEP YOU WARM ON THESE HARSH WINTER DAYS RATHER THAN GOING FOR FATTY COMFORT FOODS MAKE YOURSELF A DELICIOUS SOUP lLLED WITH BROWN RICE LENTILS FRESH VEGETABLES SPICES HERBS GARLIC AND GINGER *UST CHUCK IT ALL INTO A POT OF BUBBLING WATER AND COOK UNTIL THE VEGETABLES ARE

The Â secret Â diary Â of Â a Â skint Â student !S STUDENTS WE VE ALL HAD TO MAKE A SCANTY MEAL FROM THE DREGS OF OUR CUPBOARDS 4EN WEEKS INTO TERM AND MY BEER MONEY HAD SOMEHOW TAKEN CONTROL OF MY BOOK TOILETRY AND FOOD MONEY /N MY FRIDGE SHELF WAS SOME BUTTER AN EGG AND HALF A SAUSAGE -Y CUPBOARD WAS WORSE JUST THE HALF FORGOTTEN MEMO RY OF SOME PASTA AND SOMETHING THAT WOULDN T LOOK OUT OF PLACE IN 0ROFES SOR 3NAPE S OFlCE ) WAS HUNGRY AND POOR AND CRAV ING A KEBAB 4HE SOLUTION &ORAG ING $IDN T PEOPLE ACTUALLY LIVE IN THE OLDEN DAYS BY HUNTING AND GATHER ING 4HE EARTH YIELDED HER BOUNTY SO THAT MAN COULD LIVE IN HARMONY WITH NATURE .O MORE NEED OF 4ESCO OR -ORRISONS @BETTER THAN HALF PRICE DEALS ) WOULD STRIP AWAY MY -46 GENERATION OBSESSION WITH CONVEN IENCE AND GET BACK TO MY TRUE ROOTS (OW HARD COULD IT BE ANYWAY &IRSTLY ) M NOT A HUNTER .OT BE CAUSE ) M SQUEAMISH THE BLOODIER THE %2 EPISODE THE BETTER NO ) M JUST RUBBISH #LUMSY SLOW AND WITH NO REmEXES ) RESOLVED TO MAKE THIS AN ENTIRELY VEGETARIAN EXPEDITION ) HAD ALREADY FOUND SOME THINGS TO GIVE ME A HEAD START ROSEMARY FROM OUTSIDE .ELSON #OURT THAT ) ALREADY USED IN PRETTY MUCH EVERY MEAL AND SOME BAY LEAVES ) STUM BLED ACROSS ON A PUB CRAWL WERE STILL

IN GOOD SUPPLY /N THE BACK OF MY PREVIOUS DISCOVERIES ) GRABBED MY ECO FRIENDLY BAG AND SKIPPED OFF INTO THE UNDERGROWTH FULL OF HOPES ) IMAGINED A PLEASANT DAY SPENT HOPPING FROM BUSH TO BUSH PICK ING NIBBLING GATHERING %ACH PLANT WOULD TURN OUT TO BE A NEW AND EX CITINGLY mAVORED ADDITION TO MY BARE

CUPBOARD AND ) WOULD RETURN HOME SAFE IN THE KNOWLEDGE THAT IF WE SUF FERED A MAJOR ECONOMICAL COLLAPSE AND ALL THE SHOPS HAD TO SHUT ) ALONE WOULD HAVE THE POWER TO GUIDE THE PEOPLE INTO A NEW SELF RELIANT LIFE #UE SARDONIC LAUGHTER )N REALITY IT PISSED DOWN WITH RAIN BUT DESPITE THIS ) WAS VERY HUNGRY AND HAD ALREADY EXHAUSTED MY mAT MATE S GOODWILL BY TAKING A FAIRLY INDISCREET AMOUNT OF HER FOOD AND SO WAS FORCED RATHER THAN CHOSE TO

IMPLEMENT MY PLAN )T MAY HAVE WORKED -Y DREAMS MAY HAVE COME TRUE BUT IN THE END ) FOUND MYSELF KNEE DEEP IN STINKING MUD AN INCREDIBLY PAINFUL CUT ON MY CHEEK A SUSPECTED CASE OF POI SONING RED DANGER IDIOT AND A BAG HALF FULL OF WHAT ) WAS TOLD LATER WERE DElNITELY ./4 RAISINS 7HAT ) LEARNED WAS THIS NETTLES STING A LOT AND THERE IS NO CORRECT WAY TO HOLD THEM 4HERE MAY BE SOMETHING DE LICIOUS BENEATH A BRAMBLE BUSH BUT IT IS SIMPLY NOT WORTH RE ENACTING 77 TO GET IT ,ASTLY IT IS USEFUL TO HAVE AT LEAST A VAGUE IDEA OF WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR ) WENT HOME HAD A SHOWER AND RE EVALUATED ) WAS NOT GOING TO GIVE UP -Y SCHEME MUST WORK OR ) D BE FORCED TO SPEND AT LEAST TWO NIGHTS A WEEK SOBER ) DECIDED ) D INVEST IN A BOOK ! COUPLE OF DAYS LATER IT ARRIVED ) RIPPED OFF THE !MAZON PACKAGING ) TURNED THE PAGES EA GER FOR INSTRUCTIVE TIPS AND HELPING HINTS ) WAS GIDDY IN THE KNOWLEDGE THAT SOON MY RELIANCE ON 3AINSBURY S AND )CELAND WOULD COME TO AN END !ND WHAT hHELPFULv ADVICE DID MY MANUAL OFFER 3IMPLY h7INTER IS A PERFECT TIME TO USE ALL THE FOOD YOU HAVE GATHERED THROUGHOUT THE YEAR v !ND WITH THAT MY BRIEF AND WILDLY UNSUCCESSFUL FORAY INTO FORAGING CAME TO A NATURAL END "ETSY 0ORRITT

SLIGHTLY CRUNCHY 4HIS IS A VERY CHEAP WAY TO lLL UP AND CAN ALSO BE FROZEN LASTING YOU THROUGHOUT YOUR WEEK OF DETOX )F YOU REALLY ARE STRUGGLING WITH THE CONVERSION TO HEALTHY EAT ING BREAK YOURSELF IN WITH A JACKET POTATO WITH LOW SUGAR BAKED BEANS TOPPED WITH A GENEROUS GROUNDING OF BLACK PEPPER

$ETOX IS ALL ABOUT SNACKING SO GRAZE THROUGHOUT THE DAY ON UNSALT ED NUTS FRUIT VEGETABLES RICE CAKES OATCAKES PLAIN POPCORN AND NATU RAL LIVE YOGHURT -AKE YOURSELF FAB ULOUS SMOOTHIES WITH FRESH FRUIT OR

NATURAL FRUIT JUICES IF YOU ARE TIRING OF WATER 'REEN AND HERBAL TEAS ARE PACKED WITH ANTI OXIDANTS THAT YOUR BODY WILL BE CRAVING AFTER WEEKS OF HARD PARTYING 9OU WILL lND THAT IF YOU EAT REGULAR SNACKS YOU WILL BE LESS INCLINED TO PIG OUT ON BIG DIN NERS AT MEAL TIMES 4HIS DIET MAY SEEM STRICT FOR A STUDENT ACCUSTOMED TO CONVENIENCE FOODS HOWEVER JUST A WEEK OF THIS STYLE OF EATING WILL MAKE A SIGNIl CANT DIFFERENCE TO YOUR WELLBEING NOT TO FORGET THAT IF YOU WANT TO LOSE THOSE EXTRA FESTIVE POUNDS THIS IS A GREAT WAY TO DO SO 4HE DETOX DIET IS ALSO CHEAP WITH THE MAIN COMPO NENT WATER BEING ABSOLUTELY FREE 'IVE DETOX A GO IF YOU WANT TO BE HEALTHY AND GLOWING THIS SEMESTER AND IMPROVE YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM TO DODGE THE NASTY BUGS AROUND AT THE MOMENT 9OU MAY lND THAT YOU ARE ABLE TO INCORPORATE ASPECTS OF THE DIET INTO YOUR REGULAR EATING PATTERNS AFTER THE INITIAL WEEK GIV ING YOU A BIG TICK ON YOUR LONG LIST OF .EW 9EAR S RESOLUTIONS

Stephen Â Morseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Â morsels Â of Â New Â Year Â wisdom 4HE PAST YEAR HAS BEEN A CULINARY ROLLER COASTER FOR ME BUT ) VE MADE SOME NOTICEABLE IMPROVEMENTS IN MY DIET 'OODBYE WHITE BREAD HELLO WHOLE WHEAT BREAD ) M NOW A MULTIGRAIN SUPERSTAR ) ALSO SWITCHED FROM TYPICAL PASTA TO WHOLE WHEAT PASTA BUT ) M STILL GETTING USED TO THE mAVOUR n THE TRICK IS TO COOK THE WHOLE WHEAT PASTA FOR A WHILE AS WHEN IT S TOO AL DENTE IT TASTES LIKE CARDBOARD

OWN PASSATA ONION BASIL AND GAR LIC WILL MAKE A FAR TASTIER REPLICA 9OU DON T NEED TO ADD SALT TO EVERYTHING (ALF THE TIME YOU DON T TASTE IT ANYWAY -ORE AND MORE STUDIES ARE SHOWING THE DANGERS OF CONSUMING TOO MUCH SALT 3WITCH TO LOW FAT CHEESE )N A BLIND TASTE TEST WOULD YOU EVER KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE HEALTHY AND HIGH FAT OPTIONS .ATURAL YOGURT IS A GREAT SNACK

) NOW ADD PESTO SAUCE TO EVERY THING IT S DELICIOUS GIVE THE GREEN STUFF A SHOT 5SE IT AS A SUBSTITUTE FOR LESS HEALTHY CREAMY PASTA TOPPINGS %GG YOLKS ARE GOOD FOR YOU 4HERE S NO NEED TO THROW THEM AWAY ESPECIALLY IF YOU DON T HAVE CHOLESTEROL PROBLEMS 4HESE YELLOW MONSTERS HAVE AS MANY NUTRIENTS AS A MULTIVITAMIN 4HROW OUT YOUR VEGETABLE OIL AND USE %XTRA 6IRGIN /LIVE /IL AND INVEST IN A CALORIE COOKING SPRAY TO PREPARE YOUR PANS "ANISH THE ADDITIVE lLLED JARRED PASTA SAUCES AND MAKE YOUR

AND HELPS YOU LOSE WEIGHT n ADD NUTS TO IT FOR SOME NUTRITIOUS CRUNCH &OR THE ALCOHOLICS OUT THERE 7HY WASTE CALORIES ON SODA OR SUGAR lLLED JUICE AS A MIXER WITH YOUR VODKA 3COTCH ON THE ROCKS WITH A SPLASH OF WATER IS THE WAY TO GO

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ÊÊÊÊÊ4UESDAY TH *ANUARY " , / ÊÊÊÊÊ -/9

UEA AC UK

<8I <KKP 8E; -<; #ONCRETE S VERY OWN !GONY !UNT AND 5NCLE HAVE THE ANSWERS TO YOUR PROBLEMS $EAR "ETTY AND 4ED

) M WRITING TO YOU ON BEHALF OF MY FRIEND )N THE PAST SHE USED TO TAKE DRUGS ON BIG NIGHTS OUT AND AT PARTIES BUT RARELY 3HE WOULD ALWAYS TELL ME WHAT SHE WAS TAKING AND WHEN SHE WAS TAKING IT SO THAT IF ANYTHING WENT WRONG AT LEAST THERE WOULD BE SOMEONE WHO KNEW WHAT THE MATTER WITH HER WAS (OW EVER RECENTLY ESPECIALLY OVER THE #HRISTMAS HOLIDAYS SHE S STARTED LYING TO ME ABOUT WHAT DRUGS SHE S TAKING AND SEEMS TO BE REALLY BADLY AFFECTED BY THEM 3HE BECOMES COMPLETELY IRRATIONAL REALLY IRRITATING AND OFTEN JUST PASSES OUT LEAVING THE REST OF US TO WORRY ABOUT HER AND LOOK AFTER HER 3HE WON T LISTEN TO ME WHEN ) TRY TO TALK TO HER ABOUT IT AND DOESN T SEE HER BEHAVIOUR AS A PROBLEM 7HAT SHOULD ) DO #ONCERNED "ETTY SAYS 4HIS DOES SOUND LIKE A DIF lCULT PROBLEM FOR YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ) UNDERSTAND THAT IT S DIFlCULT TO TALK TO YOUR FRIEND BUT YOU NEED TO MAKE HER SEE THAT SHE HAS A PROBLEM %XPLAIN TO HER THAT IF SHE EVER PASSES OUT AND YOU HAVE TO CALL AN AMBU LANCE SHE AND YOUR FRIENDS WILL ALL BE QUESTIONED BY THE POLICE ABOUT HOW SHE GOT HOLD OF THE DRUGS WHICH CAN LEAD TO ENDLESS COMPLICATIONS )T S NOT FAIR FOR YOU TO HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT HER WHEN YOU GO OUT AND THIS WILL JUST RUIN YOUR NIGHT )F SHE REAL ISES HOW YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS FEEL ABOUT HER DRUG PROBLEM SHE MAY RETHINK HER SITUATION #LEARLY SHE HAS AN ADDICTION AND NEEDS PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL HELP 9OU CAN GO TO SEE A DOCTOR ON HER BEHALF TO DISCUSS WHAT TO DO NEXT BUT ULTIMATELY SHE NEEDS TO GO HERSELF TO GET PROP ER TREATMENT $ON T GIVE UP ON HER YET BECAUSE SHE LL SOON RE ALISE HOW MUCH SHE NEEDS YOU %XPLAIN TO HER HOW DANGEROUS IT IS THAT SHE KEEPS PASSING OUT AND THAT THERE ARE SERIOUS CON SEQUENCES TO HER ACTIONS 4ED SAYS 3HE S AN IDIOT TELL HER TO GET DRUNK INSTEAD

(ELPFUL NUMBERS AND E MAIL ADDRESSES #OUNSELLING SERVICE !DVICE #ENTRE 7ELFARE /FlCER SU WELFARE UEA AC UK .IGHTLINE NIGHTLINE UEA AC UK

Crisis at Christmas #HRISTMAS IS ALL ABOUT FAMILY AND FRIENDS BUT ALL THE GIVING AND RECEIVING CAN BE PRACTISED IN A DIFFERENT MANNER /NE ALTRUISTIC #ONCRETIAN SPENDS THEIR #HRISTMAS DAY NOT WITH FAMILY BUT HELPING OUT OTHERS WHO WOULD OTHERWISE SPEND THE HOLIDAYS ON THEIR OWN

HIS YEAR FOR THE SEC OND #HRISTMAS RUN NING ) ELECTED TO FORGO FAMILY FESTIVITIES AND VOLUNTEER FOR #RISIS INSTEAD 4HIS DECISION WAS NOT BY ANY MEANS BECAUSE ) DO NOT LOVE THE FAMILY ) HAVE BUT RATHER AS THE YOUNGEST DAUGHTER OF A FAIR LY DISSIPATED BATCH ) HAVE BEEN PAINFULLY AWARE OF THE EVER DWIN DLING MAGIC THAT AS A CHILD WAS SO INTEGRAL TO THIS DAY ) FELT THAT BY TAKING MYSELF OUT OF THE FAMIL IAR COMFORT ZONE ) HAVE GROWN SO ACCUSTOMED TO ) COULD BETTER AP PRECIATE THE THINGS WHICH ) HAVE 7HAT STRUCK ME THE MOST WITH THIS EXPERIENCE WAS NOT NEC ESSARILY JUST THE AMAZING FEAT OF COORDINATION IT TAKES TO SET UP RUN AND THEN TAKE DOWN AGAIN EIGHT TEMPORARY SHELTERS ACROSS ,ONDON NOR WAS IT THE RANGE OF EMOTIONAL MEDICAL AND EDU CATIONAL SERVICES WHICH #RISIS /PEN #HRISTMAS PROVIDES TO THE MORE THAN HOMELESS GUESTS WHICH PASS THROUGH ITS DOORS 2ATHER IT WAS THE SUBTLER SERVICE WHICH IT PROVIDES TO THE VOLUN TEERS THEMSELVES /VER THE FIVE NIGHTS WHICH ) SPENT DOING VARIOUS JOBS IN CENTRES AND WAREHOUSES RANG ING FROM NAVIGATING VEHICLES THROUGH THE DERELICT DAWN STREETS ON #HRISTMAS MORNING ABSO LUTELY THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING ) VE SEEN IN ,ONDON TO CLEAN ING TOILETS AFTER A MILD OUTBREAK OF GASTROENTERITIS DEFINITELY THE LEAST BEAUTIFUL THING ) VE SEEN EVER ) MET A TRULY FASCINATING MÏLANGE OF CHARACTERS !MONG THE VOLUNTEERS IT BECAME QUICKLY APPARENT THAT EVERY ONE THERE HAD A DIFFERENT REASON TO BE OPT ING OUT OF A STANDARD CELEBRATION 0AUL AN AMAZINGLY PATIENT MAN WHO ) MISDIRECTED AROUND MOST OF (ACKNEY BEFORE TURNING THE MAP THE RIGHT WAY UP WAS A RE CENT DIVORCEE WHOSE WIFE HAD CUSTODY OF HIS CHILDREN (E TOLD ME THAT HE SIMPLY COULD NOT FACE THE IDEA OF BEING WITHOUT THEM ON #HRISTMAS DAY FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE THEY WERE BORN SO BY WORKING FOR CHARITY HE COULD PRO DUCTIVELY PASS THE TIME UNTIL HE SAW THEM AT .EW 9EAR S 3CUBA ON THE OTHER HAND PROBABLY NOT HIS REAL NAME WAS A RECOVERING HEROIN ADDICT WHOSE GIRLFRIEND WAS IN A DEPENDENCY CLINIC IN !MERICA (E TOLD ME AS WE SAT ON FIRE MARSHAL DUTY THAT THE MAIN REASON HE VOLUNTEERED FOR THE NIGHT SHIFTS WAS BECAUSE IF HE WAS ON HIS OWN NIGHT TIME WAS

THE HARDEST TIME TO STAY OFF DRUGS )N HIS OWN WORDS #RISIS WAS OP ERATING AS A SORT OF ADDICTION BA BYSITTING SERVICE #HRISTMAS IS A BITTERSWEET TIME FOR SO MANY PEOPLE &OR THOSE WHO DO NOT HAVE FAMILY IT CAN BE A SAD REMINDER OF HAPPIER PERIODS AND FOR THOSE HAVE LOST LOVED ONES IT CAN HIGHLIGHT THEIR ISOLATION )T IS NO SURPRISE THEREFORE THAT THE SUICIDE RATE IS HIGHER AT #HRISTMAS THAN ANY OTHER TIME OF YEAR !DVER

THE #RISIS CENTRES WORKS ON A STRICT NO QUESTIONS ASKED POLICY 4HERE ARE OBVIOUS RULES ABOUT DRUGS ALCOHOL AND WEAPONS BUT ASIDE FROM THIS THE DOORS ARE OPEN TO ABSOLUTELY ANYONE ) WAS SURPRISED THEREFORE TO FIND OUT THAT ONLY AN ESTIMATED ONE THIRD OF THE GUESTS AT #RISIS WERE ACTUALLY THOSE WHO SLEEP ROUGH ON THE STREETS 4HE REMAINDER WAS MADE UP FOR THE MOST PART OF THE hHID DEN HOMELESSv LIVING IN "RITAIN

TISING AND INDUSTRY HAS ALSO DONE ITS VERY BEST TO FRANCHISE #HRIST MAS IN SUCH A WAY THAT PUTS MAS SIVE PRESSURE ON THE INDIVIDUAL TO CONSUME AND SPEND THE AVERAGE FAMILY S EXTRA $ECEMBER EXPENDI TURE NOW STRETCHES TO MORE THAN a 4HIS IS ALARMING WHEN TAKING INTO CONSIDERATION OUR NATIONAL EPIDEMIC OF CREDIT CARD DEBT AND THE SHOCKING RESULT OF A RECENT SURVEY SHOWING THAT ONE

TODAY 4HIS CATEGORY ENCOMPASSES A VARIETY OF GROUPS FROM THOSE LIV ING IN SQUATS AND HOSTELS TO SCORES OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT WORKERS WHO SHARE SUCH TINY ACCOMMODATION THAT WHEN WORK HALTS OVER #HRIST MAS THERE SIMPLY IS NOT SPACE FOR THEM TO ALL BE TOGETHER AT ONCE 4HE FINAL CATEGORY WHICH ONE OF THE #RISIS ORGANISERS TOLD ME ABOUT IS A FAIRLY LARGE NUMBER OF SINGLE ELDERLY MEN WHO COME OUT OF LONELINESS JUST SO THEY HAVE SOMEONE TO TALK TO ) HAD AN EX TREMELY PLEASURABLE CONVERSATION WITH ONE SUCH GENTLEMAN WHICH CULMINATED IN HIS SINGING TO ME ALL FOUR VERSES OF THE .ATIONAL !NTHEMx AND TO THINK ) ONLY THOUGHT THERE WAS ONE 4HE SERVICES OFFERED BY SHEL TERS LIKE #RISIS ARE SO IMPORTANT NOT ONLY FOR PROVIDING PRIMARY AND EMERGENCY CARE BUT ALSO FOR LINKING HOMELESS PEOPLE INTO YEAR ROUND PROGRAMS 4HIS IS WHY IT IS SUCH AN OUTRAGE THAT THE 7ESTMIN STER #OUNCIL IS CURRENTLY ATTEMPT ING TO PUT THROUGH A 0ARLIAMENTA RY "ILL BANNING ALL SOUP KITCHENS IN THE CAPITAL 7ITH A LAUGHABLY

IN FIVE PEOPLE SAID IT WOULD ONLY TAKE A MONTH FOR AN UNEXPECTED DROP IN INCOME TO HAVE A KNOCK ON EFFECT ON THEIR HOUSING 4HE ADMISSION OF GUESTS TO

WEAK ARGUMENT THAT THESE CEN TRES ENCOURAGE PEOPLE OUT OF HOSTELS AND ONTO THE STREETS THIS PROPOSED BAN ON THE QUAINTLY PHRASED hDISTRIBUTION OF FREE REFRESHMENTS v SEEMS NOTHING MORE THAN A THINLY VEILED SCHEME TO CLEAN THE UNDESIRABLES OFF THE STREETS OF 7ESTMINSTER 4HANKFULLY THE COUNTER REAC TION TO THIS PROPOSAL HAS BEEN PHE NOMENAL #ELEBRITY VOLUNTEERS LIKE #HRIS -ARTIN ARE HELPING TO RAISE THE PROlLE OF CHARITIES LIKE #RISIS AND THE 3HADOW (OUSING -INISTER 'RANT 3HAPPS EVEN SPENT THE NIGHT OF #HRISTMAS %VE SLEEPING ROUGH IN 6ICTORIA IN AN ATTEMPT TO BETTER UNDERSTAND THE HOUSING PROBLEMS OF HIS CONSTITUENTS #RISIS WAS A TOTALLY SOBERING EXPERIENCE FOR ME )T OPENED MY EYES TO NOT ONLY THE ISSUES OF POV ERTY WHICH ARE SO EASILY IGNORED ON THE STREETS OF ,ONDON BUT ALSO TO THOSE OF LONELINESS !ND ) BET YOU RE WONDERING DID IT GIVE ME THAT SMUG GLOWING POST CHARI TABLE ACT BUZZ 7ELL IT WAS DEFI NITELY BETTER THAN "RUSSEL SPROUTS AND BAD 46

" , / 4UESDAY TH *ANUARY // ,-

WWW CONCRETE ONLINE CO UK

Have Â your Â say

#ONCRETE 0/ "/8 ./27)#( ./2&/,+ .2 4* #ONCRETE IS PUBLISHED BY 55%!3 #ONCRETE 3OCIETY Â¥ #ONCRETE )33. ,ETTERS SHOULD BE ADDRESSED FOR THE ATTENTION OF THE %DITOR -ARCUS *ONES ,ETTERS MUST INCLUDE CONTACT DETAILS BUT WE WILL CONSIDER ANONYMOUS PUBLICATION 7E RESERVE THE RIGHT TO EDIT FOR LENGTH AND CLARITY AS NECESSARY /PINIONS EXPRESSED ARE NOT NECESSARILY THOSE OF THE 0UBLISHER OR %DITOR 5SE OF THE NAME 4HE %VENT IS BY ARRANGEMENT WITH THE COPYRIGHT HOLDERS 0LANET :OG ,TD .O PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRODUCED THROUGH ANY MEANS WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE %DITOR -ARCUS *ONES 0RINTED BY !RCHANT

)F YOU SPOT SOMETHING AMISS OR JUST WANT TO SAY HOW MUCH YOU ENJOYED A PARTICULAR ARTICLE THEN GET IN TOUCH WITH #ONCRETE VIA CONCRETE EDITOR UEA AC UK )T S YOUR PAPER SO LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK

Initiations Â correction 4HE STORY ON THE FRONT PAGE OF THE LAST ISSUE OF TERM EN TITLED h5NION TO BAN INITIA TIONS v WAS CRITICISED HEAVI LY BY MEMBERS OF THE 5NION %XECUTIVE #OMMITTEE PAR TICULARLY THE 3PORTS /FFICER *AMES 4URNER 5PON PUBLI CATION *AMES 4URNER POINT ED OUT TO #ONCRETE THAT HIS PROPOSED AMENDMENT TO THE MOTION GOING TO 5NION #OUNCIL DID NOT INCLUDE THE PROVISION TO BOTH FINE OF THE SUBS ACCOUNT AND BAN FROM "53! CLUBS ACCUSED OF HOLDING INITIA TIONS n AS HAD BEEN STATED IN THE ARTICLE

#ONCRETE IMMEDIATELY APOLOGISED FOR THE APPARENT ERROR (OWEVER IN FACT THE AMENDMENT DID PROPOSE EI THER OF THESE PUNISHMENTS COULD BE ENFORCED BUT ONLY SPECIFIED THAT ONE OF THEM MUST BE n #ONCRETE AC KNOWLEDGES THIS IS SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT TO WHAT WAS PRINT ED 4HE %XECUTIVE #OMMIT TEE WROTE A RESPONSE TO THE ARTICLE IN 2ABBIT LAYING OUT THE REASONS FOR THE MOTION BEING BROUGHT TO #OUNCIL HOWEVER THIS RESPONSE SUF FERED FROM A NUMBER OF FURTHER INACCURACIES SIM

PLIFICATIONS THAT NOT ONLY OVERSIMPLIFIED THE DEBATE AROUND INITIATIONS BUT MIS REPRESENTED WHAT WAS PUB LISHED IN #ONCRETE 3PECIFI CALLY THE LINE h4HE MOTION TO #OUNCIL DOES NOT SEEK TO hBAN INITIATIONSv AS #ON CRETE WOULD HAVE YOU BE LIEVE xv GROSSLY PERVERTS WHAT WAS SAID IN #ONCRETE #ONCRETE DID NOT SAY THE MOTION AIMED TO BAN INITI ATIONS 7E SAID THE AMEND MENT THAT *AMES 4URNER HAD SAID HE WOULD PROPOSE AND HAD SENT US A COPY OF WOULD BAN INITIATIONS OUTRIGHT 4O DIRECTLY QUOTE THE AMEND

) WAS JUST BROWSING THROUGH THE LATEST ISSUE OF #ONCRETE ;$ECEMBER TH= AND HAP PENED TO STUMBLE UPON TWO UNFORGIVABLE FACTUAL ERRORS &IRST IN YOUR %DITOR S #OL UMN YOU LIST &RANK "OUM AS THE AUTHOR OF 4HE 7IZARD OF /Z 4HE AUTHOR IS ACTUALLY , &RANK "AUM !LSO IN THE $6$ REVIEW OF THE "OURNE 5LTIMATUM THE DIRECTOR IS LISTED AS $AV ID 9ATES 4HE DIRECTOR OF THE "OURNE 5LTIMATUM IS 0AUL 'REENGRASS 7HERE DID YOUR PAPER COME UP WITH $AVID 9ATES (E DIRECTED THE LATEST

(ARRY 0OTTER FILM WHICH IS ABOUT AS COMPLETELY DIFFER ENT A FILM FROM THE "OURNE 5LTIMATUM AS ONE CAN GET 7HAT ) FIND MOST BOTH ERSOME IS HOW EASILY THESE FACTUAL ERRORS COULD BE FIXED "Y TAKING JUST A FEW SECONDS TO LOOK ONTO 7IKIPEDIA 'OOGLE !MAZON OR )-$" YOU COULD DO AWAY WITH ALL THESE ERRORS )N THE FUTURE IF THE PAPER COULD TAKE SOME MORE CARE IN FACT CHECKING THIS PARTICULAR READER WOULD MUCH APPRECIATE IT

$EAR %DITOR

) WRITE WITH REFERENCE TO THE CROSSWORDS IN THE CURRENT EDITION OF 4HE %VENT PART OF )SSUE OF #ONCRETE AND WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUT A NUMBER OF FACTUAL INAC CURACIES IN THE CLUES AND A NUMBER OF MISSING CLUES $UE TO THESE MISSING CLUES ) HAVE BEEN UNABLE TO FINISH THE #HRISTMAS CROSSWORD )N THE COMPETITION CROSSWORD ACROSS HAD THE CLUE @LONGEST BUILD ING AT 5%! AND THE WORD 3INCERELY

THAT SEEMS TO FIT IS @ARTS /F COURSE ARTS IS ONLY ONE PART -IKE 0ENCE OF THE MUCH LARGER TEACHING WALL AND YES IT DOES FORM ONE BUILDING IN FACT THE SCIENCE BIT OF THE TEACHING WALL IS ALSO SIGNIFICANTLY CUPIED IN THE PREVIOUS IS LARGER THAN ARTS !S SUCH SUE BY THE FILM REVIEW FOR THE CORRECT ANSWER SHOULD (ARRY 0OTTER AND THE /RDER BE TEACHING WALL OF THE 0HOENIX #LEARLY THE )N THE #HRISTMAS CROSS DIRECTOR S NAME FAILED TO GET CHANGED ) DO NOT KNOW IF IT MAKES IT ANY BETTER THAT THESE WERE PURELY ACCIDENTAL ERRORS AS 7E BECAME AWARE OF THE ER OPPOSED TO LAZY FACT CHECK RORS IN THE CROSSWORD BUT TOO ING (OWEVER EITHER WAY ) LATE TO PREVENT THEM GOING TO APOLOGISE PRINT /UR APOLOGIES GO OUT TO ALL THOSE WHO MAY HAVE HAD THEIR CROSSWORD FUN SOME

MENT h4HE 5NION OF 5%! STUDENTS BANS ALL CLUBS AND SOCIETIES FROM HOLDING INI TIATION CEREMONIES INCLUD ING ANY SOCIAL WHICH CAN BE CLASSED UNDER THE BELOW DEFINITION ! SOCIAL EVENT ON OR OFF CAMPUS WHICH IN VOLVES MEMBERS OF THE CLUB OR SOCIETY BEING ENCOURAGED TO CONSUME ALCOHOL OR PER FORM ACTS OF INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR WHICH IS ;SIC= CON SIDERED DANGEROUS AND OR BRING THE 5NION INTO DIS TRIBUTE v

$EPUTY %DITOR CONCRETE EDITORIAL UEA AC UK !NDY *UDSON

.EWS %DITOR CONCRETE NEWS UEA AC UK 2ICHARD 2EYNOLDS $EPUTY .EWS %DITOR !LICE 'IBBS 2EPORTERS "ETH "URNS *ACK #LARK !LICE 'IBBS !NDY *ONES -ARCUS *ONES !NDY *UDSON 'RACE 3IMPSON /PINIONS %DITORS CONCRETE OPINION YAHOO COM !NDY *ONES %MMELINE 3AUNDERS 7RITERS -ATTHEW $AVISON !LEX 0ARTRIDGE #ARTOONIST "RADLEY 2EDDICK %NQUIRER %DITOR .IAL "AXTER AKA -YSTIC -EG &EATURES %DITORS CONCRETE FEATURES UEA AC UK !BIGAIL +EEN *ESSICA 7ESTGARTH 7RITERS -AX 'ORDON :AINEB :EB +HAN

WORD THERE ARE A NUMBER OF MISTAKES A 4HE CLUE FOR ACROSS READS @THE FIRST PRIME NUMBER 3INCE DOWN GIVES US VACCI.ATIONS ) AM PRESUMING THAT THE SET TER MEANT THE ANSWER TO BE @ONE !S A MATHS POSTGRAD ) CAN ASSURE YOU THAT THE NUMBER IS NOT PRIME AND THAT THE FIRST PRIME NUMBER IS AND HAS ALWAYS BEEN B 4HERE IS NO CLUE FOR DOWN ) AM GUESSING THAT THE WORD SHOULD BE @SLEDGE C 4HERE IS NO CLUE FOR DOWN ) AM GUESSING THAT THE WORD SHOULD BE @MAGI

Editorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Â response

"ETTER NEXT LUCK TIME WHO EVER SETS THE CROSSWORDS

$EAR -IKE

2EGARDS

) CAN ASSURE YOU THAT ) TOOK SOME TIME TO HANG MY HEAD IN SHAME WHEN ) NOTICED THE ERROR IN MY %DITOR S #OLUMN ) USED 7IKIPEDIA TO HELP ME WITH THE COL UMN AND CAN ONLY ATTRIBUTE THIS ERROR TO A TYPING SLIP MEANING ) GOT "OUM IN STEAD OF "AUM 4HE "OURNE 5LTIMATUM REVIEW WAS PLACED IN THE SPACE THAT HAD BEEN OC

#HIEF #OPY %DITOR CONCRETE EDITORIAL UEA AC UK !NNA 0RITCHARD

Bourne Â stupid? Crossed Â wires $EAR %DITOR

%DITOR CONCRETE EDITOR UEA AC UK -ARCUS *ONES

3TUART !LDER

-4( 0OSTGRAD

Editorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Â response WHAT SPOILED BUT FOR ALL WHO SPENT THEIR #HRISTMAS HOLIDAY FRETTING THE ANSWERS TO THE MISSING CLUES WERE INDEED DOWN SLEDGE DOWN MAGI

&OC 3OC %DITOR CONCRETE EDITOR UEA AC UK !NDY *UDSON 7RITERS !NGUS (OLBURN !MY 7ILSON &OOD %DITOR FOOD CONCRETE ONLINE CO UK 'RACE 3IMPSON 7RITERS 3TEPHEN -ORSE "ETSY 0ORRITT 'RACE 3IMPSON ,IFESTYLE %DITOR CONCRETE LIFESTYLE UEA AC UK #HLOE 0EW ,ATTER 7RITER !NONYMOUS 4RAVEL %DITOR CONCRETE TRAVEL GMAIL COM +ATIE 'REEN 7RITER ,IZZY %LLIOTT 4RAVEL 4REE &ROG $ESIGNED BY "EN (ARVEY 4URF %DITOR CONCRETE TURF UEA AC UK .ATASHA "ARNES 7RITERS 2ACHEL !RCHER %LLIE ,AZELL 3PORT %DITOR CONCRETE SPORT UEA AC UK ,AURA 7IGNALL 7RITERS !LEX "AMFORD 4IM "ARBER (ANNAH $RIVER ,AURA (EALY *OHNNY ,EE (ARRY ,OW ,OIS .ETHERSELL 0ROOFREADING !NNA 0RITCHARD 'RACE 3IMPSON #HIEF 0HOTOGRAPHER CONCRETE PHOTOGRAPHS UEA AC UK %MIL !LLARD 0HOTOGRAPHERS %MIL !LLARD -ARCUS *ONES !DVERTISING JEAN WILLS UEASTUDENT COM *EAN 7ILLS $ISTRIBUTION -ATTHEW (ALL

CONCRETE TURF

/1,

4UESDAY TH *ANUARY " , /

UEA AC UK

Anticipation Â for Â change Â in Â 2008 )F YOU RE HAVING TROUBLE WITH IDEAS FOR .EW 9EAR S RESOLUTIONS %LLIE ,AZELL REMINDS US OF HOW IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN DONE LAST YEAR AND ASKS WHAT IT WILL TAKE FOR CHANGE

!N EXAMPLE OF THE WHALING SHIPS ALLOWED TO HUNT FOR @SCIENTIlC STUDY

S WE EMBARK UPON YET ANOTHER NEW YEAR FULL OF ANTICIPATION OR POS SIBLY TREPIDATION AND RECALL WHICH RESOLU TIONS WE MANAGED TO STICK TO LAST YEAR AND WHICH WE FAILED MISERABLY TO KEEP WE ARE ALSO FACED WITH THE OUTCOMES OF RESOLUTIONS WHICH WERE MADE ON OUR BEHALF BY POLITICIANS

@#LIMATE CHANGE IN BECAME A POLITICAL MESS #ALLS BY SCIENTISTS AND ENVIRONMENTAL GROUPS IN "RITAIN FOR MORE AMBITIOUS TARGETS WITH REGARDS TO GREENHOUSE GAS EMISSIONS LARGELY FELL ON DEAF EARS 0RECIOUS GREENBELT LAND FELL PREY TO BUILDERS AND ROADS WERE WIDENED AT GREAT PUBLIC EXPENSE 0EOPLE FROM ALL WALKS OF LIFE JOINED FORCES OVER THE SUMMER TO PROTEST THE

BUILDING OF A THIRD RUNWAY AT (EATH ROW $ESPITE THE OPPOSITION OF LOCALS AND ENVIRONMENTALISTS IN THE FACE OF EVER RISING CARBON EMISSIONS AND THE POTENTIAL LOSS OF AROUND HOMES THE GOVERNMENT IS PLOUGHING ON WITH ITS PLANS TO EXPAND WHAT IS ALREADY THE WORLD S BUSIEST AIRPORT &ASLANE lNALLY CAME TO AN END ON /CTOBER ST CULMINATING IN A "IG "LOCKADE AFTER A YEAR OF CONTINU OUS PEACEFUL BLOCKADING BY A WIDE VARIETY OF LOCAL AND INTERNATIONAL GROUPS ALL WITH A COMMON INTEREST TO MAINTAIN WORLD PEACE 4HE "RIT ISH GOVERNMENT IS PERSISTING WITH ITS NUCLEAR REARMAMENT PROGRAMME 'REENPEACE PROTESTERS BREACHED THE SITE OF WHAT IS TO BE THE lRST COAL lRED POWER STATION AUTHORISED IN "RITAIN IN YEARS AT +INGSNORTH IN +ENT 4HIS RESULTED IN ARRESTS % /. HAS JUST BEEN GRANTED PLANNING PERMISSION FOR THE CONSTRUCTION OF TWO COAL UNITS WHICH THEIR SPOKES PERSON ASSURES US WILL BE CLEANER AND MORE EFlCIENT THAN THOSE ALREADY IN PLACE 4HE TECHNOLOGY WHICH IS TO RENDER THESE UNITS @CARBON CAP TURE READY HAS YET TO BE PROVEN /N AN INTERNATIONAL LEVEL THE 5. S )NTERGOVERNMENTAL 0ANEL ON #LIMATE #HANGE HAS WARNED THAT IF NOTHING IS DONE TO COMBAT GLOBAL WARMING WE COULD BE FACED WITH A GLOBAL TEMPERATURE INCREASE OF DEGREES BEFORE THE CENTURY IS UP RE SULTING IN A DEATH TOLL OF HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS AND THE COLLAPSE OF ECONOMIES AND LIFE AS WE KNOW IT ! 5. STUDY CALLED THE -ILLEN NIUM %COSYSTEM !SSESSMENT REPORT

PUBLISHED IN -ARCH SHOWED THAT NO COUNTRY CAN AFFORD TO BE COM PLACENT CONSUMPTION LEVELS ACROSS THE GLOBE MEAN THAT APPROXIMATELY OF THE ECOSYSTEM SERVICES WHICH SUPPORT LIFE ON THIS PLANET ARE BE ING DEGRADED OR USED UNSUSTAINABLY 4HE EMERGENCE OF NEW DISEASES UN

h5%! SCIENTISTS WARN THAT WE HAVE NOT SEEN THE BACK OF GLOBAL WARMING v EXPECTED CHANGES IN WATER QUALITY @DEAD ZONES IN COASTAL AREAS AND RE GIONAL CLIMATE CHANGES ARE INCLUDED IN THE REPORT AS AREAS OF CONCERN 7IDELY CRITICIZED FOR ITS HIGH LEVELS OF CARBON EMISSIONS #HINA UNVEILED PLANS IN -AY FOR THE VERY lRST PURPOSE BUILT ECO CITY ON A LARGE ISLAND IN THE 9ANGTZE $ELTA WHICH IS TO HOUSE AROUND PEO PLE )T PLEDGED AROUND MORE OVER THE NEXT YEARS TO ACCOM MODATE THE EXPECTED MILLION PEOPLE MIGRATING FROM THE COUNTRY SAW 'REENPEACE SHIP 4HE %SPERANZA AND THE CREW OF THE 3EA 3HEPHERD SET SAIL TO TRACK DOWN THE *APANESE mEET ON THEIR ANNUAL WHALE HUNT 4HE /CEANIC 6IKING HAS RECENTLY BEEN DISPATCHED BY THE !USTRALIAN GOVERNMENT TO GATHER EVIDENCE FOR AN INTERNATIONAL COURT CASE AGAINST THE *APANESE 7HILE *APAN IS ALLOWED TO

HUNT A CERTAIN NUMBER OF WHALES PER YEAR IN THE NAME OF RESEARCH CAM PAIGNERS ARGUE THAT KILLING WHALES IS NOT NECESSARY FOR SCIENTIlC STUDY AND THAT COMMERCIAL WHALING IS STILL BEING CARRIED OUT UNDER THE GUISE OF RESEARCH !LTHOUGH THEY STILL IN TEND TO GO AHEAD WITH THE SLAUGHTER OF AROUND WHALES THE GOV ERNMENT DID CAVE TO INTERNATIONAL PRESSURE AND ANNOUNCED IT WOULD NOT BE HUNTING THE ENDANGERED HUMPBACK WHALES IT HAD ENVISAGED )N A SURPRISE MOVE IN $ECEMBER "USH lNALLY SIGNED A NEW CARBON REDUCTION PACT AT THE 5. #LIMATE #HANGE #ONFERENCE IN "ALI TO REPLACE THE +YOTO PROTOCOL WHICH EXPIRES IN !FTER DIGGING HIS HEELS IN AND CITING THE FACT THAT THE +YOTO PROTOCOL DOES NOT REQUIRE #HINA TO CONFORM TO THE SAME EMISSIONS RESTRICTIONS AS IN DUSTRIALISED COUNTRIES AS HIS GROUNDS FOR HESITATION DESPITE THE FACT THAT PER CAPITA THE AVERAGE !MERICAN PRODUCES MORE CARBON EMISSIONS THAN HIS #HINESE COUNTERPART THIS APPEARED TO BE A REAL TURNAROUND 4HIS VICTORY HOWEVER PROVED TO BE A HOLLOW ONE ISSUES OF DEFORESTATION AND TECHNOLOGY FOR DEVELOPING COUN TRIES WERE DEALT WITH BUT NO CLEAR TARGETS WERE SET FOR EMISSIONS EITHER GLOBALLY OR FOR DEVELOPED COUNTRIES WAS THE SEVENTH WARM EST ACCORDING TO RECORDS BEGINNING IN PROMISES TO BE A LIT TLE COOLER BUT 5%! SCIENTISTS WARN THAT THIS DOES NOT MEAN WE HAVE SEEN THE BACK OF GLOBAL WARMING 3O MAKE REDUCING YOUR CARBON FOOT PRINT YOUR .EW 9EAR S RESOLUTION

America Â only Â in Â it Â for Â the Â money? Â Surely Â not... 4AKING A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT APPROACH TO RECENT ENVIRONMENTAL HAPPENINGS 2ACHEL !RCHER INSISTS THAT THIS JOB IS FAR TOO BIG FOR US LOWLY RECYCLERS WITHOUT THE SUPPORT FROM OUR GOVERNMENTS 'EORGE -ONBIOT JOURNALIST AND EN VIRONMENTALIST SUMMED UP "RITAIN S POLITICAL AND ENVIRONMENTAL SHORT FALLS WHEN HE SAID THAT h(ILARY "ENN IS AN IDIOTv 9ES INDEED OUR -INISTER FOR THE %NVIRONMENT IS A TOTAL FOOL BROWN NOSING "LAIR ASIDE OR WOULD "ROWN NOSING BE MORE APPROPRIATE NOW "ENN IS A TOTALLY INCOMPETENT -INIS TER FOR %NVIRONMENT BECAUSE HE HAS YET TO MAKE ANY MAJOR COMMITMENTS TO NIPPING CLIMATE CHANGE IN THE BUD AND HE IS ALLOWING THE 53 TO GET AWAY WITHOUT DOING ANYTHING EITHER .OW -ONBIOT IS A CURRENT FAVOUR ITE OF MINE NOT JUST BECAUSE HE RE ALLY KNOWS HIS STUFF WHEN IT COMES TO CLIMATE CHANGE BUT ALSO BECAUSE HE IS MAKING THE CONNECTIONS BETWEEN POLITICS AND CLIMATE CHANGE &OR TOO LONG WE HAVE BOUGHT INTO GOVERN MENTS AND BUSINESS @GREEN WASHING THEIR DIRTY ACTIONS &OR EXAMPLE % /. HAVE JUST PUT IN A BID TO THE GOVERN MENT TO BUILD A COAL POWER PLANT IN

-EDWAY ALREADY THE MOST POLLUTED PART OF THE COUNTRY COAL OBVIOUSLY BEING A @DIRTY ENERGY EMITTING lLTHY # GASSES % /. GET AWAY WITH IT BY PROMISING TECHNOLOGIES THAT WILL CAP TURE THE # RATHER THEN LET IT OUT INTO THE ATMOSPHERE ALL VERY NICE EXCEPT THESE TECHNOLOGIES DON T ACTUALLY EXIST YET !ND WHY IS THAT "ECAUSE "RITAIN AND THE 53 HAVE SPENT ALL THEIR ENER GIES @CARBON TRADING RATHER THAN IN VESTING IN TECHNOLOGIES THAT CAN HELP THE ENVIRONMENT 7ELL WHY WOULD THEY ! WIND FARM IS NOT EXACTLY PROF ITABLE TO A BIG !MERICAN BUSINESS IS IT -ONBIOT S SLUR ON "ENN CAME AFTER THE SIGNING OF THE "ALI DEAL ) CAN ONLY IMAGINE THAT THE MEETING WAS SET UP FOR TWO REASONS ONE WAS TO MAKE UP FOR THE FACT THAT "USH REFUSED TO SIGN THE +YOTO !GREE MENT IN AND THE OTHER WAS A CHANCE FOR !MERICA TO LAY DOWN THE LAW WHEN IT CAME TO GREEN ACTIONS IN THE NEXT FEW YEARS 4HE DEAL WAS

QUITE FRANKLY AN ABOMINATION ON "RITAIN AND !MERICA S PART $O NOT BE FOOLED AS -ONBIOT FREQUENTLY WARNS

h"ASICALLY WE CANNOT EVEN TRUST THE .OBEL 0RIZE WINNNING !L 'ORE YOU MEAN CLIMATE CHANGE IS REAL !L /H CHEERS v US THERE IS NOTHING IN THE SIGNING OF THIS DEAL THAT DOES NOT BENElT !MERI CAN PROlT 3O THE 53 DELEGATION IN SISTED ON MORE CARBON TRADING RATHER THAN COMMITTING TO TACKLING CLIMATE CHANGE 4HE 53 AND ANY OTHER RICH NATION FOR THAT MATTER CAN BUY @HOT

AIR FROM POOR COUNTRIES THUS CREAT ING A MARKET INx AIR /H AND MOST IMPORTANTLY GUESS WHO WAS THE DEL EGATE FROM THE 53 ! CERTAIN !L 'ORE $O NOT PUT YOUR FAITH IN FALSE HEROES BECAUSE THIS GUY IS AS INTERESTED IN CLIMATE CHANGE AND FUEL EFlCIENCY AS "USH IS IN GAY MARRIAGE AND ABOR TION RIGHTS 4HAT IS TO SAY NO THANKS ,ET US NOT FOCUS ALL OUR ATTENTIONS ON THE FAÂ ADE THAT IS THE "ALI $EAL !S IT GOES !MERICA CAN RIGHT UP POINT LESS BILLS AT HOME AS WELL )N $ECEM BER LAST YEAR "USH lNALLY PASSED AN ENERGY BILL )T IS THE BIGGEST MOVE TO FUEL EFlCIENCY SINCE THE S WHICH SAW A MASSIVE OIL CRISIS "UT WHAT IS THAT ! MASSIVE OIL CRISIS NOW 9ES SINCE THE UTTERLY THOUGHTLESS INVASION OF THE MIDDLE EAST OIL HAS ROCKETED UP TO A BARREL NOT EXACTLY WHY OUR BOYS WENT IN BUT WHATEVER AND NOW THE 53 WANTS TO SWAP TO ETHA NOL INSTEAD OF PETROL WHICH WILL STILL EMIT GREENHOUSE GASES IT JUST DOES

NOT TAP INTO FOSSIL FUELS 3URELY MAS SIVE INVESTMENT IN PUBLIC TRANSPORT WOULD BE A MORE ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY MOVE /H OF COURSE THAT MEANS STATE FUNDING )F IT ISN T ON THE MARKET "USH JUST AIN T INTERESTED "ASICALLY WE CANNOT TRUST "USH "ROWN "ENN OR EVEN THE .OBEL 0RIZE WINNING !L 'ORE YOU MEAN CLIMATE CHANGE IS REAL !L /H CHEERS SINCE THEIR INTERESTS ARE IN PROlT "UT WE OURSELVES CANNOT LIMIT THE DESTRUC TION THAT WILL BE CAUSED BY CLIMATE CHANGE BY RECYCLING AND COMPOST HEAPS 7HAT WE CAN DO IS PUT PRES SURE ON GOVERNMENTS AND BUSINESS THROUGH CAMPAIGNING AND DIRECT AC TIONS 4HIS IS NOT A CALL TO ARMS PER SE BUT KEEP YOUR EYES AND EARS OPEN FOR ACTION NEAR YOU BECAUSE HIM IN NUMBER JUST WON T LISTEN OTHERWISE )F YOU HAVE ANY VIEWS ON THIS ARTICLE YOU D LIKE TO EXPRESS PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CONTACT 4URF AT CONCRETE TURF UEA AC UK

" , / 4UESDAY TH *ANUARY -*",/

WWW CONCRETE ONLINE CO UK

UEA Â Pirates Â aim Â for Â playoffs 4IM "ARBER 3PORTS 2EPORTER 4HE 5%! 0IRATES !MERICAN &OOTBALL TEAM HAS SEEN A SUC CESSFUL lRST HALF OF THE SEASON WITH AN IMPRESSIVE FOUR WINS AND ONLY ONE LOSS FROM THEIR lRST lVE GAMES 4HE TEAM WILL BE LOOKING TO CONTINUE THIS FORM IN THEIR lNAL THREE GAMES AFTER THE #HRISTMAS BREAK WHERE WINS IN TWO OUT OF THESE THREE SHOULD BE ENOUGH TO SEE THE 0IRATES INTO THE POST SEASON PLAYOFFS WHICH IS THE ROUTE TAKEN TO THE #OLLEGEBOWL #HAMPION SHIP GAME 4HE 0IRATES LAST GAME BE FORE #HRISTMAS WAS AGAINST THE !25 0HANTOMS AND WAS PLAYED IN TERRIBLE CONDITIONS 4HE TORRENTIAL RAIN MEANT THE PITCH WAS LITTLE MORE THAN A MUD BATH BY HALF TIME AND AFTER STARTING QUARTERBACK -IKE #ATTRAN DISLOCATED HIS SHOULDER IN THE lRST QUARTER THE TEAM STRUGGLED TO MAKE AN IMPACT AGAINST THE RESILIENT !25 DEFENCE 7IDE RECEIVER 0ETE -ORGAN TOOK OVER AS

QUARTERBACK FOR THE REST OF THE GAME BUT A SUBSEQUENT INJURY TO RUNNING BACK !LEX 2OSS AND THE WORSENING CONDITION OF THE PITCH COMBINED TO MAKE A FRUSTRATING DAY AT THE OFFENCE ! TIRING GAME ENDED IN FAVOUR OF THE 0IRATES WHICH MEANT THEY WOULD GO INTO THE #HRISTMAS BREAK WITH AN IM PRESSIVE AND RECORD

.EXT UP FOR THE 0IRATES IS THE VISIT OF LOCAL RIVALS THE %S SEX "LADES TO #OLNEY ,ANE ON THE RD OF &EBRUARY KICK OFF PM !FTER GOING UNDEFEATED IN THE REGULAR SEASON LAST YEAR THE "LADES WERE CONlDENT OF THEIR ABILITIES WHEN THE TEAMS MATCHED UP IN .OVEMBER (OWEVER A GOOD DISPLAY ON BOTH SIDES OF THE BALL SAW THE

0IRATES COME AWAY WITH A VICTORY 4HE "LADES WILL BE LOOKING TO MAKE AMENDS FOR THIS RESULT BUT WITH PLAYOFF DREAMS IN MIND 5%! WILL BE SEEKING THEIR lFTH WIN FROM SIX GAMES 4HE 5%! 0IRATES ARE RE CRUITING PLAYERS ALL YEAR ROUND AND ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR NEW MEMBERS TO JOIN THE SQUAD

7ITH A TALENTED COACHING STAFF OF EIGHT EX 5%! STUDENTS AND 0IRATES THE TEAM CAN CATER FOR PLAYERS OF ALL ABILITIES AND EX PERIENCE WHETHER YOU HAVE PLAYED BEFORE OR WANT TO TRY SOMETHING NEW "Y COMBIN ING THE RIGOURS OF THE SPORT WITH GREAT SOCIAL EVENTS THE 0I RATES HAVE CREATED A CLOSE KNIT TEAM WITH THE COLLECTIVE GOAL

OF A .ATIONAL #HAMPIONSHIP TROPHY AT THE END OF THE SEA SON &OR INFORMATION ON JOIN ING THE 0IRATES IN A PLAYING CAPACITY OR SIDELINE HELP E MAIL T BARBER UEA AC UK 3EE THE 0IRATES LAST HOME GAME OF THE SEASON AGAINST THE %SSEX "LADES AT #OLNEY ,ANE 0LAYING &IELDS RD &EBRUARY KICK OFF PM

Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Â Football Â -Â Â expect Â big Â Fencing Â Update things Â in Â 2008 ,OIS .ETHERSELL 3PORTS 2EPORTER

,AURA (EALY 3PORTS 2EPORTER

5%! 7&# HAVE HAD A FANTAS TIC OPENING FEW MONTHS TO THEIR CAMPAIGN 7ITH WINS COMING IN BOTH "53! AND 3UNDAY LEAGUE GAMES THE CLUB lNDS ITSELF IN A HEALTHY POSITION GOING INTO THE .EW 9EAR 4HIS SEASON THE CLUB HAS ATTRACTED A WIDE VARIETY OF PLAYERS FROM BEGINNERS TO SOME VERY TALENTED AND SKIL FUL INDIVIDUALS 7ITH FOUR WINS A DRAW AND TWO LOSSES WE SEE THE "53! TEAM SITTING COMFORTABLY IN THIRD POSITION OF THE -IDLANDS " LEAGUE 7ITH ONLY NARROW DEFEATS AT HOME TO THE TOP TWO TEAMS AND A ONE ALL DRAW AWAY TO SECOND PLACED ,EICESTER THE GIRLS WILL FEEL UNLUCKY NOT TO BE SITTING PRETTY ON TOP OF THE LEAGUE AT #HRISTMAS 4HREE GAMES REMAIN IN THE "53! LEAGUE THIS SEASON WITH THE CRUNCH GAME COMING ON THE RD *ANUARY WHEN THE TEAM TRAVELS AWAY TO TOP OF THE LEAGUE 7ARWICK 5%! 7&# ALSO PLAYS IN THE .ORFOLK 7OMEN AND 'IRLS &OOTBALL ,EAGUE ON

!S THE NEW SEMESTER BEGINS THE "53! SEASON IS DRAWING TO A CLOSE FOR THE 5%! &ENC ING #LUB "OTH THE MEN S AND WOMEN S TEAM HAVE ONE MATCH REMAINING IN A SEASON THAT HAS SEEN MANY UPS AND DOWNS 4HE MEN S TEAM HAVE SUF FERED CONSISTENT INJURY WOES LEAVING THEM TO BATTLE ON VAL IANTLY WITHOUT SOME OF THEIR TOP FENCERS YET THEIR DEFEATS HAVE REMAINED ONLY MAR GINAL WITH NOTABLE PERFORM ANCES AGAINST ,OUGHBOROUGH 7ARWICK AND 3TAFFORDSHIRE 4HE WOMEN S TEAM HAVE FAIRED BETTER OVER THE SEASON EXPERIENCING THEIR lRST WIN IN TWO YEARS AT HOME TO 7AR WICK WITH STRONG PERFORM ANCES THROUGHOUT FROM -AI SIE *ENYON .AVJEET .AGI AND "ERTHIA !NDERSON )N INDIVIDUAL COMPETI TIONS THE CLUB HAS ENJOYED MORE SUCCESS )N $ECEMBER -ICHAEL &AY THE 0RESIDENT AND ACTING MEN S 4EAM #AP TAIN WON A LEAGUE COMPETI TION RUN BY THE .ORFOLK &ENC ING #LUB AND TOOK THE SILVER

3UNDAYS 4HIS GIVES EVERYONE THE OPPORTUNITY TO PLAY FOOT BALL NOT JUST THOSE SELECTED TO PLAY "53! )NDEED THE 3UN DAY LEAGUE TEAM IS PRODUCING PLAYERS WHO COULD ARGUABLY BE PUSHING FOR "53! PLACES NEXT SEASON 4HE LEAGUE IS KNOWN FOR BEING PHYSICAL AND OUR GIRLS CERTAINLY STAND UP TO THE TEST 7ITH SEVERAL

WINS UNDER THEIR BELT AND ONLY A HANDFUL OF LOSSES THE GIRLS ARE MID TABLE WITH ONLY A FEW POINTS BETWEEN THEM AND SECOND SPOT ,ASTLY SOME OF THE GIRLS HAVE ALREADY WON MEDALS FOR 5%! THIS SEASON .INE MEM BERS OF 5%! 7&# TRAVELLED TO THE 5NIVERSITY OF %SSEX IN #OL CHESTER TO TAKE ON FOUR OTHER

UNIVERSITIES IN A SEVEN A SIDE TOURNAMENT "LOWING THE OPPOSITION AWAY IN EMPHATIC STYLE 5%! ROSE TRIUMPHANT CLAIMING AN EASY VICTORY ,ET S HOPE THIS IS NOT THE ONLY SILVERWARE WON THIS YEAR BY THE GIRLS AND THAT THE SUC CESS OF 5%! 7&# CONTINUES LONG INTO 'OOD LUCK LADIES

IN A #HRISTMAS TOURNAMENT WITH 5%! S 'REAME 7EATH ERILL ALSO TAKING A BRONZE "UT 5%! FENCING IS NOT ALL ABOUT MEDALS AND COMPETI TIONS ,AST SEMESTER THE CLUB ORGANISED A CHARITY MATCH BE TWEEN THE "53! TEAMS IN AID OF 'REAT /RMOND 3TREET (OS PITAL RAISING A TOTAL OF a 4HE CLUB HAS ALSO BENElTED THIS YEAR FROM THE PRESENCE OF -ATTHEW 3OREL #AMERON A QUALIlED SABRE COACH AND FORMER WINNER OF THE .ORFOLK OPEN ,OOKING FORWARD THE CLUB WILL BE SENDING A TEAM TO COMPETE IN THE UPCOMING .ORFOLK #OUNTY #HAMPION SHIPS FOR THE lRST TIME AND WE WISH ALL PARTICIPANTS WELL IN THEIR ENDEAVOUR BRING US BACK SOME SILVERWARE )F YOU D LIKE TO JOIN ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR SPORTS CLUBS AT 5%! THEN COME AND SEE US AT 3PORTS-ART ON 7EDNES DAY TH *ANUARY PLACES ON BEGINNER S COURSES ARE LIMIT ED SO GET THERE EARLY TO AVOID DISAPPOINTMENT 9OU CAN ALSO lND US ON &ACEBOOK OR AT WWW FREE WEBS COM UEAFENCING %MAIL UEAFENCING GOOGLEMAIL COM FOR MORE INFORMATION

CONCRETE SPORT

-*",/

4UESDAY TH *ANUARY " , /

UEA AC UK

UEA Â runnersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Â half-Âmarathon Â success *OHNNY ,EE 3PORTS 2EPORTER 4RADITIONALLY THE !NNUAL #ITY OF .ORWICH (ALF -ARA THON HAS BEEN HELD IN THE WARM MONTHS OF *UNE HOW EVER DUE TO A NUMBER OF RUN NERS IN RECENT YEARS FAILING TO COMPLETE THE GRUELLING MILE COURSE BASED AT THE 2OYAL .ORFOLK SHOW GROUND AND A NUMBER OF SERIOUS IN JURIES AND CASUALTIES CAUSED BY HEAT STROKE AND EXHAUS TION THIS YEAR THE RACE OR GANISERS DECIDED TO MOVE THE RACE TO THE SUPPOSEDLY hMILDER MORE COMFORTABLE CONDITIONSv OF $ECEMBER 4HIS PROVED HIGHLY IRONIC AS ON THE DAY THE REGIS TERED RUNNERS WERE MET WITH THE HEAVIEST DOWN FALL OF RAIN IN TWO MONTHS FOLLOWED BY A MUDDY WET GROUND SURFACE GALE FORCE WINDS AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF A HEAVY HAIL STORM 4HE CONDITIONS CONCLUSIVELY PROVED TO BE EXTREME PAIN FUL AND BITTERLY COLD WITH

TEMPERATURES PLUMMETING TO TWP DEGREES 5%! !THLETICS LONG DISTANCE RUNNERS TURNED UP ON THE DAY ALL BATTLING THE EXTREME CONDITIONS TO lNISH THE RACE IN RESPECTABLE TIMES )N THE MEN S RACE lRST HOME

FOR THE TEAM WAS CLUB CROSS COUNTRY CAPTAIN *OHNNY ,EE lNISHING IN HOUR MIN UTES TH PLACE OVERALL 4HE NEXT MAN TO CROSS THE LINE WAS .ICK 0ULLEN IN HOUR MINUTES IN TH PLACE FOL LOWED BY NEWCOMER +ALVIN

3COTT RUNNING HIS lRST EVER RACE IN THE RESPECTABLE TIME OF HOURS MINUTE 4HE 5%! LADIES TEAM PROVED TO BE ONE OF THE STRONGEST LADIES TEAMS IN THE lELD WITH ,IV 3MITH LEADING THE 5%! LADIES HOME IN

Korfers Â qualify Â for Â nationals

HOUR lNISHING IN TH POSITION OVERALL FOLLOWED BY %MILY .EILAN HOUR lNISHING TH .EXT TO CROSS THE lNISHING LINE CLOSE TO .EILAN WAS (AYLEY ,ITCHlELD RUNNING A TIME OF HOUR TH PLACE FOLLOWED BY (ANNAH 3IERRA HOUR lNISHING IN TH PLACE AND +ATHERINE 2USACK lNISHING IN HOURS IN TH PLACE 4HE MOST EXCEPTIONAL CLUB PERFORMANCE OF THE DAY CAME FROM *ENNIE (UNT WHO BEFORE THE RACE HAD BEEN SUF FERING FROM A SERIOUS BOUT OF mU WHO THOUGH STILL FEELING ILL ON THE DAY RAN THE RACE IN HOURS MINUTES IN ORDER TO SECURE SPONSORSHIP MON EY THAT SHE AND (AYLEY ,ITCH lELD HAD COLLECTED TO DONATE TO .30## ! BIG CONGRATULA TIONS MUST BE MENTIONED TO THESE TWO GIRLS FOR THEIR WARM EFFORT AND FUNDRAISING FOR SUCH A GOOD CAUSE #LUB 0RESIDENT 3TUART "RILL COMMENTED THAT HE WAS hPROUD OF THE RUNNERS EXCEP

Triathletes Â make Â marathon Â achievement

(ANNAH $RIVER AND (ARRY ,OW

!LEX "AMFORD 3PORTS 2EPORTER

/N 3ATURDAY TH .OVEM BER 5%! S lRST TEAM WENT TO "IRMINGHAM TO COMPETE IN THE +ORFBALL "RITISH 5NI VERSITIES 3OUTHERN 4OURNA MENT A REGIONAL QUALIlCA TION TOURNAMENT THAT BRINGS THE BEST TEAMS TOGETHER FROM THE SOUTH OF THE 5+ TO BATTLE IT OUT FOR EIGHT PLACES AT THE "53! .ATIONALS 4HE WIN NERS OF THE .ATIONALS HOST ED BY 5%! THIS YEAR WILL BE CROWNED 5+ 3TUDENT #HAM PIONS 4HE lRST MATCH STARTED NERVOUSLY WITH 2EADING TAK ING THE LEAD THANKS TO A QUESTIONABLE PENALTY BEFORE 5%! lRST EQUALISED WITH A GOAL FROM *IMMY 3EYMOUR BEFORE TAKING THE LEAD WITH A PENALTY FROM #LUB 0RESIDENT 0AUL !SHWORTH $ESPITE THEIR DOMINANCE 5%! WERE NOT ABLE TO ADD ANY MORE GOALS TO THEIR TALLY BUT THEY CAME AWAY AS VICTORS &IRST TEAM COACH !MI "ROUGHTON STATED hTHEY GOT THE JOB DONE v 4HE SECOND MATCH OF THE DAY WAS A TOTALLY DIFFERENT AF FAIR WITH 5%! STRUGGLING TO GET A FOOTHOLD IN THE GAME BUT THIS WAS TO BE THE ONLY DEFEAT FOR A lRED UP 5%!

4HE NEWLY FORMED 5%! 4RIA THLON #LUB PROUDLY lELDED A SQUAD OF ATHLETES TO COM PETE IN THE !NNUAL .ORWICH MILE RACE 4HE RACE WENT OFF TO A BAD START FOR CLUB HOPEFUL ,EE #ALDERON AS HE CRASHED OUT OF TH PLACE EARLY ON WITH A THIGH INJURY #ALDERON WAS CLEARLY DEVASTATED BY THE INJURY AS HE HAD BEEN HOPING TO TAKE A TOP POSITION IN THE RACE )T WAS NOW DOWN TO 2OB 'REEN TO BEGIN WORKING HIS WAY UP THE lELD OVERTAK ING COMPETITORS WITH HIS SIX MINUTE MILES 'REEN PRO DUCED A GUTSY PERFORMANCE lNISHING TH WITH A TIME OF #LEARLY PLEASED WITH THE RESULT 'REEN DID AD MIT TO lNDING THE LAST FOUR MILES TOUGH h) M SO PROUD OF THE TEAM WHAT A TURNOUT AND SUCH AN AMAZING RESULT 4HIS IS THE CLUB TO BE IN IF YOU WANT TO ACHIEVE YOUR POTENTIAL EVERY STEP OF THE WAY ) FELT THE SUPPORT OF EVE RYONE DRIVING ME ON v .ICOLA -C)VOR HELD HER OWN FOR THE WOMEN WITH A SOLID PERFORMANCE RESULTING IN A FANTASTIC TH PLACE IN THE WOMEN S DIVISION WITH A

SIDE 5%! WENT INTO THEIR lNAL GROUP GAME NEEDING A NINE GOAL VICTORY TO QUALIFY FOR THE SEMI lNAL A TASK MADE EVEN MORE DIFlCULT WHEN #ARDIFF TOOK THE LEAD (OWEVER 3TEPH !LLEN ONCE AGAIN SCORED TO GET 5%! UP AND RUNNING ! CHANGE OF ENDS SAW 0AUL !SH WORTH SCORE A PENALTY BEFORE #APTAIN +ATIE ,ADD CHIPPED IN WITH HER lRST GOAL OF THE DAY 4HE GIRLS IN THE ATTACKING DIVISION FREQUENTLY GOT THE BETTER OF THEIR OPPONENTS BUT WERE UNABLE TO CAPITALISE AND ADD TO THE SCORE 4HE VICTORY MEANT HOWEVER THAT THEY HAD QUALIlED FOR THE NATION AL TOURNAMENT IN -ARCH !T THE END OF THE GROUP STAGE 5%! #AMBRIDGE AND

"IRMINGHAM HAD ALL WON THREE GAMES MEANING THAT THE lNAL STANDINGS WOULD BE SETTLED BY GOAL DIFFERENCE 5NFORTUNATELY THIS MEANT THIRD PLACE FOR 5%! AND TH PLACE AT BEST 4HE lNAL MATCH SAW 5%! FACE !STON WITH BOTH SIDES KEEN TO lNISH ON A HIGH !N IMPRESSIVE LONG SHOT FROM 3TEPH !LLEN HER FOURTH OF THE TOURNAMENT OPENED THE SCORING AND LED TO A MAS SIVE CHEER FROM THE WATCH ING CROWD (OWEVER 5%! WERE QUICKLY ON THE BACK FOOT AND THREE GOALS IN QUICK SUCCESSION LEFT THEM STARING DOWN THE BARREL AT A DEFEAT (OWEVER A TIMEOUT WAS CALLED WHERE COACH !MI S WISE WORDS PROVED JUST THE

TICKET !N INVIGORATED 5%! SOON SEIZED CONTROL WITH THE GOALS STARTING TO POUR IN 4WO FURTHER LONG SHOTS FROM 3TEPH !LLEN ONE FROM *IM MY 3EYMOUR AND TWO MORE GOALS FROM +ATIE ,ADD AND A GOAL FROM !LEX %DWARDS MEANT 5%! HAD WON THEIR LAST GAME AND IN STYLE 4HE SCORE LINE MADE FOR GOOD READING AND CONlRMED 5%! S POSITION IN THE TOP HALF !LL IN ALL DESPITE ONE DEFEAT TO THE EVENTUAL WIN NERS OF THE TOURNAMENT 5%! PLAYED SUPERBLY FOR THE MOST PART AND THE SIGNS ARE GOOD FOR THE .ATIONAL 4OURNA MENT AT OUR VERY OWN 3PORT SPARK LATER THIS YEAR n SEE YOU THERE

TIONAL PERFORMANCESv AND LOOKED FORWARD TO CONTINUED SUCCESS IN THE NEW YEAR 7ITH THE 5%! WOMEN S CROSS COUNTRY TEAM CURRENTLY SITTING IN ST PLACE IN THE %AST !NGLIA LEAGUE AND THE MEN S TEAM CURRENTLY SITTING IN ND PLACE AND WITH THREE RACES STILL TO GO THE PROSPECTS OF BOTH THE MEN S AND WOMEN S TEAM DEFENDING THEIR %AST !NGLIA CHAMPIONSHIP TITLES FOR A THIRD YEAR RUNNING LOOK BRIGHT /LIVER 6ELLA A 5%! STU DENT NOT YET A MEMBER OF THE RUNNING CLUB DECIDED TO RUN THE HALF MARATHON FOR A CHALLENGE (E ACHIEVED AN EXCELLENT TIME OF IN TH PLACE (E HAS CONTIN UED TRAINING HARD AND AIMS TO COMPLETE MORE LONG DIS TANCE RACES IN 5%! ALTHLETICS CLUB WILL BE RECRUITING NEW MEMBERS AT THE UPCOMING 3PORTS -ART ENTHUSIASTIC RUNNERS OF ALL ABILITIES ARE WELCOME

TIME OF v&EELING PHYSI CALLY AND MENTALLY WELL PRE PARED WE TACKLED THE HILL ON MILE SIX AND WHEN THE PAIN REALLY SET IN $ESPITE THE WEATHER LARGE CROWDS WERE OUT TO CHEER US ON AS WE ALL DUG DEEP TO SPLASH OUR WAY THROUGH THE PUD DLES FOR THE lNAL STRAIGHT v #OACH 3IMON %DWARDS WAS PROUDLY SUPPORTING HIS SQUAD FROM THE SIDE LINE HIS STRUCTURED COACHING PRO GRAMME CLEARLY DEMONSTRAT ING EARLY SIGNS OF ITS EFFEC TIVENESS h)T WAS GOOD TO SEE THE NEW 5%! 4RI #LUB WITH SO MANY MEMBERS TAKING PART AND DESPITE THE STRONG WINDS AND RAIN SPIRITS WERE HIGH AND ALL WERE READY FOR THE CHALLENGE v %DWARDS CONTINUED h) WOULD LIKE TO CONGRATULATE ALL THOSE WHO COMPETED IN PARTICULAR THOSE THAT ACHIEVED A PER SONAL BEST TIMEv "ARELY IN ITS THIRD MONTH OF EXISTENCE POTENTIAL FOR FUTURE SUCCESS IN THIS CLUB IS OUTSTANDING 4HE 5%! 4RI #LUB IS READY TO MAKE AN IMPACT ON NEXT YEAR S "53! AND NATIONAL EVENTS FURTHER RAISING THE PROlLE OF HIGH LEVEL SPORT AT 5%!