Concrete issue 047 17 May 1995

JOHNNYDEPP

The worlcfs greatest lover and worst film director in the space of a fortnight

CAMPUS rents are to go through the roof next year... with rooms in Constable Terrace or Nelson Court set to cost more than £50 a week.

Charges for other campus accommodation will rise by fivepercent·a weekly increase of£ 1.65 • on a typical room in Norfolk, Suffolk or Waveney Terraces. Licencees at the Village will see their rent rise by £2.20 to

£46.25. Explaining the shock move, UEA'sDirector of Residences, Jenny Grant, said: "Many students have said that Nelson Court and Constable Terrace are better value for money than University Village, and that there should be a difference in price between them. 'The demand formoms [in Nelson and Constable] is such that we can probably get away with changing the levels of rent whilst still encouraging students to take these rooms." But the Student Union slammed the increases on the top-spec aa:ommodation, claiming they were irresponsible at a time of ever-mounting levels of student hardship. 'The Union is appalled by the proposed rent increases", said Communications Officer, Dave Owens. "We feel 13.6 per cent is far above the rate of inflation, and in these days of grant cuts and increased student poverty it is tragically ironic that the University is malcing students pay for its rnismanagem:nt.

"We are currently considering various forms of action, including rent strikes, mass protests and embarrassing the University into reconsidering the proposed rent rises. "Only by boyconing University residences will the bungling bosses understand that students don't have a bonomless pit of money to pay for management mistakes. "We feel that every student should think seriously about whether they can afford to pay £50 per week for an en-

Rent rise

shocker: Nelson & Constable to cost £50 next year suite room, and whether it would be a lot bener for them to live in the City for less." Ms Grant also confirmed other proposals made by housing chiefs include the 'recovering' of £80,000 in next year's accommodation account as part of a move to reduce a whopping £220,000 deficit caused by blunders in the last few years. She stated that in order to combat the shortfall, the University would also have to make cutbacks in residence maintenance and repairs. as well as cuning cleaning services which they felt was possible due to improved efficiency. "I have a commitment to retaining the same level of service and improving quality", she said. "''ve taken decisions that I think will benelit the majority of students." • Concrete Comment- film to page B.

2 Concrete, Wednesday, May 17,1995

VILLAG SD PAY £330 FO G FFI I AMAGE licencees

Non-sabb noms shock UNION Officers were left reeling after three non-sabb positions failed to attract any nominations for last week 's cross-campus poll. And now. the posts of Sports. Community and International Liaison and the Clubs and Societies Officers will have to be decided at a later date. Sports Officer, Alex Bainbridge, expressed his regret last week that no-one had put themselves forward to stand as his successor. "There's sim ply too much responsibility for a non-sabb position, something I've been arguing all year", he said. "This is the first time ever that no-one's stood for the position and perhaps because of this, something needs to be done."

con crcYI

Fuming blame UEA for faul~ doorlock

ACCOMMODATION bosses have been given the brush-off after charging a group of Village residents £330 to repaint graffiti-damaged walls. By - - -..

DUE TO production problems, namely essays and exams, we've only been able to bring you 24 pages this issue, writes the Editor, Nia/1 Hampton. And as a further result of this, Concrete will next appear on June 7, one week later than normal. This will be our thirteenth and last edition of the year. But don't worry - we'll be back to full strength by then , and the issue will be packed full of the regular material that's made us the number one campus media, plus a look back at lite at UEA during 1994-5.

SYS grad buys Union's SOO,OOOth pint SYSG RADU ATE J~onHancock

th ought someone was pulling hi s pilsner in The Pub ten days ago ... when hi s purch ase o f a pint of Heineken landed him a cash prize of £50! For Jason had bought the token 500.000th pint of beer from the Union 's bars thi s academic

year, measured when the first fres h keg of that evening's draught products was used up. The stunned tippler was then presented with his pri ze by Union Finance Officer, John Ho lmes and Union Bars manager Tom Balls (pictured above). " I'm reall y chuffed", he said,

''I'd just come up for the weekend to see some mates, and I win £50! Champion!" But Jason's winnings didn't stop there. To his immense surprise, he was then given a rucksack full ofCDs, tapes and videos from Concrete worth over £ 150, as part of the promotion.

Licencees in the B2 courtyard block claim that poor security was to blame for the vandalism, pointing to the fact that the lock on their main entrance door was faulty for the first few months of the year. Each resident returned after the Easter break to face a bill of£ I 0.67 for the redecorating, which included an unspecified £5 administration fee. Said one resident, "It 's absolutely ridicu lous- everyone knew block B2 had no lock for weeks." "Ou r payphone was the only one working in the Village, so, for a few days everyone was in and out of our block usi ng the phone." The residents complained about the charge to housing chiefs, but fears of not bein!! able to collect

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their grant cheques at the beginning of term- due to having an outstanding bill with UEA - forced most of them into paying up. Said University Accommodation Manager, Lawrence Daly, ''I think we· re justified in making people pay for invoices. Our maintenance people don ' t have anything to do with the Vi llage. "Although we are ultimately responsi ble for anything at University residences, this matter is the responsibility of the people we've contracted." Although the residents have pai d up, they remain dissatisfied at UEA's handling of the matter.

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Cilltl on 'Blind Date'

Love is on

UEA goes L~bour

the air... INFA1UATION UK, the matchmaking TV show, goes into production of its second series this June, writes John Wood. The programme gets contest· antstoreveal~irsecretcroshes,

which in the past has resulted in matchmaking dates and even the occasional proposal on air. The show, which, accord~Ag to the Daily Star"makes Blind Date look like Bland Date", is hoping to broaden its appeal this series, and plans to involve gay couples for the first time. One of the progtamnte's producers added, ·we're especially keen to attract students amongst the competitors, as we believe they will need something fun to do once they've finished their

WALKER'S CRISPS and NUS Services are no longer the best of 'spuddles' ••• for at a conference over Easter, a policy was passed to Implement a boycott of Walker's crisps In all Student Union outlets. The crunch came when the By NUS food and drink committee decided to replace Walker's Michele du Randt with the cheaper equiValent of KP and Seabrook's. preferred Walker's but the price Unlike other suppliers KP that KP are offering is a clear and Seabrook's, who have indication that market discipline agreed to bring their prices can work", he said. down to 15p a packet. Walker's "However, if enough people have refused to make any price feel that loyal to Walker's, that reductions on their products. will be taken on board by the Jam Homes, Union Fnance Union." Officer, explained that the John is hoping to give students move by NUS Services was the chance to decide: "If ifs clear made for purely "commercial that more than 400 people would reasons". rather have Walker's crisps, "As a crisp eater, I think ifs even at the old price, then we'll a shame. I've always and get them back."

exams." The finished shows will be broadcast in September on UK Uving, the women's interest satellite channel. •Anyone hoping for a 1V romance should call Infatuation UK on 0171 306 6169.

What do you think?· ashouldNUSServices'boycottofWalkerscrispsremain,orshould students be able to choose which brand they want to eat? OWewanttohearyourviews. Writetousattheaddresson page 10.

LABOUR'S Tony Calns was retumed as councillor for the University ward In the local elections on May 4. His win from the Lib Dems was one of the tightest finishes in the City, which saw an increase in the Labour vote across the board . One of the other.closely fought seats was Nelson ward · which includes the Golden Triangle · also a Labour win from the Lib Dems. The Tories now no longer have a vote on the council · their one councillor is Lord Mayor next year. This means the Council is now Labour 37 (+2), Lib Dems 10 (-I) and Conservative I (·I). Although less than 500 of a potential 2,500 campus voters turned out at. the UEA polling station, amongst those that did turn out there was a strong pro-Labour vote. Said Tony, "I would Like to thank UEA Labour Club for all their help on the day and everyone who voted for me. "It was a very good win for the Labour party, and I hope there will be interaction with the students, and I look forward to representing students on the council."

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Concrete, Wednesday. May 17. 1995

Camp_us station will reach CifY.

CHANCELLOR BACKS GSA Recently our President and Vice-President Geoff and lndira were invited to a reception by UEA's Chancellor, Sir Geoffrey Alien. The Chancellor allocated a great part of his speech to addressing the topic of graduate studies and expressed his support for graduates. He backed the GSA in our effort to refurbish the bar area and has urged the University to provide the necessary financial support.

Livewire crew - happy to be going FM... for a month at least CAMPUS radio station, Llvewlre 945, Is Increasing lt's audience by 40,000... by broadcasting to the whole of Norwich! For station bosses have been awardeda28day 'Restricted Service Licence' from June 5th, which means they can broadcast on the FM frequency. StudentDls and newsreaders will all get the chance to go pro, as Livewire pumps out the best music and biggest hits, along with local and national news and information, to a brand new audience. "We'll be targeting an audience

r--- By-----. f Peter Hart aged 13to25,andwillbedoingmore than simply playing music," explained Publicity and Promotions Manager, Josephine Green. "Livewire FM will have a travelling dedications box, we're linking up with Boswells and The Waterfront, and there'll be loads of compe-

titions and phone-ins," she added. Those involved in the initiative will be working for nothing, including the people responsible for bringing in the necessary £4,000 in advertising revenue. Everyone hopes thatLivewire- which currently holds six top radio awards- will be the best station on the FM dial during their month's broadcast. See the next issue ofConcrete, on June 7, for all the programme information, plus news on Livewire FM' s frequency.

Nexus UTV land national role NEXUS UTV have been chosen as the station to oversee the running of the National Student Television Association (NASTA), writes

Caroline Ad/em. The organisation, run by volunteers, compromises ten of the UK's 15 student television stations. Each year a different station is chosen by the other stations to preside over NASTA ' s affairs, includin_g le_gal matters, advertisin_g,

the upkeep of the association and the organisation of the yearly Easter conference. Splitting the job of National Coordinator will be fellow Nexoids Stuart CampbeiJ, Andy Savory and Simon Litton. "It' s a major achievement for Nexus UTV considering that three or four years ago, we were virtually unheard or•, said Simon. "We hope it' 11 help us strengthen

our position as we look for extra resources from the Student Union." • Last Saturday saw Nexus go on air for a 24 hour broadcast as their contribution to UEA' s Open Day. Programmes included hourly news reports, music shows, live coverage of other campus events and comedy, all of which were output worldwide on the Internet. According to Nexus, this was a world first.

Furthermore, he declared that he would be delighted to attend the opening as an honorary member of the refurbished bar.

ENTERTAINMENTS Last Friday, the Music Quiz took place and all those not present missed an enjoyable evening. As reported in the last issue, we are arranging a variety of events. Unfortunately, not many dates have been confirmed yet, so keep your eye on this space and lookout for posters around campus. Tufty's Nutbox will be playing on Friday, May 26.

This section is written and paid for by the Graduate Students Association ~~rv~vOO ------~

There was disruption at Reading Uni recently when someone hacked into the library's computer network and issued book recalls from the library's stock....

An Oxford student got a big surprise when she bought a Lottery Instants scratchcard instead of a packet of ciggies. .. she won a £200 prize!

American student Annabel Chong failed get into the record books recently when she tried to bonk her way into history. She was 50 short of 300 in 10 hours.

Concrete, Wednesday, May 17. 1995

The Way Around The Union'

••• NEWS••• he National Union of Students has published a document called 'Funding the Future'. lt looks at different ways of funding Further and Higher Education. lt is very important that YOU tell NUS what YOU think about the issue. Get' em while they're hot!! Get YOUR copy of this document and a response form from Iona Wakely or Daniel Owen in UH.

ith Summer fast approaching, what could possibly be better than to sit in the squarte and drink warm beer and chat to your friends? The answer is that for many people, this is the perfect way to while away valuable revision time and skip any lectures you may have left. But there is a problem! Too much litter is being left in the square. Not only is this disgusting to see and smell, it is also environmentally unfriendly. lt is embarrassing to live in a so called 'green' society and then to go and throw away your rubbish willy nilly in places other people want to enjoy. If everyone could just be a little more responsible then we wouldn't have this disgusting problem. The sad fact is, that your Union can only do so much. If we pay more people to clean up, then you lose out. YOUR clubs, YOUR societies, YOUR beer prices.

PL E PICK UP YOUR LITTER • IF YOU DON•T, NO-ONE ELSE WILL!!

Concrete, Wednesday, May 17, 1995

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Ssvolr-Fslre: The Joy of Ems /I

"Is it true your pants are plastic?" Find out soon on Nexus U1V

LIVIN' DOLLS

FORGET Tupperware parties. Nexus UTV Is the place to be for the best In plastic products. For they have just started to broadcast a new, dynamic soap opera entitled 'Plastic Lives'. lt'sover-the-top,it'spinkerthan By - - - pink, and most important of all, its • cast is made up entirely of Barbie, Kay Mulhgan Ken and Sindy dolls. Behind the production are Con- Nexus with the idea of doing a soap crete editors and Barbie fanatics opera, and we were rummaging Michele du Randt and Caroline around in my attic looking for sets." Jenkinson. Ably assisted by cameraman "It all started when Michele Simon Litton, and eo-director Vicky bought some of her old dolls back Arnold, they are now in the final from Liverpool," explained stages of editing the last two epiCaroline. sodes. "We started talking about the "It's been great fun, especially games we used to play with them, when we've been doing the and all the stuff that we had. Next voiceovers," said Caroline. thing we knew, we'd approached "Niall and Pete [Concrete's Edi-

tor and Music Editor] were arevelation. They didn't want to do the voices at frrst, but once they got started, they threw themselves into it with real enthusiasm." Having reached a potential audience of 10 million last weekend, when 'Plastic Lives' was broadcast on the World Wide Web by Nexus aspartofUEA' sOpenDay,Michele and Caroline have naturally got high hopes for their show. "We've thought about entering it for the Guardian Media Awards," said Michele. "But our real aim is to sell it to Channel4. Maybe then we can go big budget!"

YES, ITS TIME to take a look at that workhorse of the intemet electronic mail. Refreshingly, this is exactly what it says it is: namely a way to send letters to other people via the computer. What's more, we denizens of UEA, ranking amongstthe best connected citizens of the planet, can use this service at absolutelynocosttoourselves! Staggering, really. To join the ranks of those people who spend their time laughing annoyingly attheirterminals while you're trying to write your dissertation, you firstly need to get set up with your very own electronic pigeonhole. Simply take yourself and your registration card along to the reception desk in the Computing Centre and ask for a form to register on the central computers (the trusty VAXes). Within scant hours you'll have an account set up in your name. Then just click on the "Telnet Services (Teemtalk)" icon on any of the computers around campus, select the machine you're registered on, tell it your

username and password and Bob's your uncle! Type the word "mail" followed by the word "help" and you should get a bit of assistance. If this just mystifies you even further, it's time to fork out 60p for CPC Document 105. Now that's over with, it's time to telephone all of your friends and tell them your brand new address so that they can spare themselves the cost of a stamp when they write to you. Also, write to su.hype@uea.ac.uk and tell us what you think of Hype, and what you'd like to see in the future. Remember that slander, defamation and death threats are still legal no-nos even if you send them by email, so be curteous when writing to Bill Clinton (president@whitehouse.gov), for example. Also remember that email is not as secure as some might like: evil little hackers and those shady secret service types are able to intercept your post, so don't send your credit card details or plans for your latest terrorist bombing campaign to anyone without encrypting them first. The vast majority of people use email exactly as they would use a letter or telephone, but it can also

be a way of getting information automatically sent to you from afar. For example, send a message containing the words "get help" to info-rama @wired.com and you'll be sent back details of how to use email to obtain all of the text from backissues of the US edition of Wired magazine, without having to pay anything. Also worth checking out are discussion groups: these allow groups of people who are interested in a particular subject to communicate with the other members of their group quickly and easily. The trick is to store a list of the email addresses of everyone concerned on a computers6mewhere, and then, when a member of a group writes to this computer, it automatically forwards their comments to all of the other participants. There are thousands of such lists, on topics ranging from "recycling in practice in academic environments" to "women's issues in music librarianship" • visitHype'sWebpagestogetto have a look at lists of these groups, and also more information about how to go about joining them. Also available will be links to more information about email, including such exotica as to how to use itto transfer pictures and software from distant computers ... Hype's Website can be reached as follows : UEA Welcome UEA Information Students Campus TV, Radio and Publications Hype. Emailusat su.hype@uea.ac.uk..

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8 Concrete, Wednesday, May 17, 1995 fRlfi'P

F'letters

[~~~~~:~i]

Concrete welcomes your letters on any subject. Whether it is something we've written about and you want to take issue with , or you just simply want to make a point, we want to hear from you. Write to us (before 1pm on May 31 to have your letter published in the next issue) at the address below or via our postboxes in Union House, marking your correspondence for the attention of the Editor. Anonymity will be respected but you must include your name and address in the first instance.

Shooting through the roof Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse - what with grade fixing. cuts in teaching time and so on- comes the news that UEA are to hike rents in their top-spec campus accommodation. Housing chiefs say the 13.67 per cent increase- way and above the rate of inflation- won't affect levels of demand for Constable Terrace or Ne lson Court , both of which have been heavily oversubscribed since they opened in September 1993. It seems that it's a question of what UEA think they can get away with when charging students rent. Granted, Nelson and Constable are the sort of residences that people want to live in these days - a bit more personal than oldfashioned shared facilities and so on. But how much further are rent levels going to go, or to adopt current rhetoric, how much can the market stand? £55 per week? £60? The Students Union say they will fight the rent increase, and are currently reviewing their options in terms of campaigns and discussion. But what seems to be overlooked is the point that the differential in rent structures between standard campus and en-suite accommodation favou rs not those who can choose, but rather those who can afford to choose, between them.

The 'merits' of this remain to be seen. but one thing's for certain: if the breaking of the psychological £50 barrier is accepted by next year's Constable and Nelson residents. then surely the sky's the limit.

A ~uestion of blame Th is issue. we reported that a group of Village residents have been charged £330 for graffiti damage to their entrance foyer. Accommodation c hiefs have seemi ngly ignored their protestations that the front door lock was faulty. They have exonerated themselves from any blame, suggesting instead that the residents themselves are in fac t culpable fo r the vandalism. Incidents like thi s are quite co mmonplace at UEA. Fifteen months ago, we told how a Waveney Terrace resident had been burgled with the loss of property totalling £300. Thieves broke in th rough his ground floor window, which had no lock something he explained to Un iversity authoriti es to no avail. And in February this year, we ran a story on a group of Nelson Court students who were told to cough up £120 for a Dualite toaster. This was to replace the one stolen from their kitchen, and ironically, the thief had gained access through the front door whose lock was faulty. Sounds familiar, doesn't it? But who would be to blame if both of the above took place in the private sector? The tenant?

Get real UEA.

Dead on your feet .... . ·.

•AN EPISTLE TO THE LGB•: BIBLICAL CORRECTIONS l

an Cossar's recent letter con cerning Biblical teachings on he subject of homosexuality is unfortunately indicative of the narrow-mindedness so prevalent today. Many people, religious or not, prefer to bli ndl y spout out biblical misinformation rather than form and deve lop an opin ion based on intellectual motivation and the careful consideration of fac ts . The quote from Leviticus 20: 13 beginning " If man also lie wi th mankind ... " is actually preceded by " for everyone that curseth his father or mother shall be surely put to death ... " (Lev 20:9); "And the man that commiteth adultery .. . shall surely be put to death ... " (Lev 20 : 10); "And the man that lieth with his father 's wife ... " (Lev 20:11 ); "And if a man lie with hi s daughter-in-law... " (Lev 20: 12). Mr Cossar's interpre tation seems to have overlooked certain lapses which a large proportion of society is guilty of. It is this oversight and the disregarding of relevant fact s that I take exception to. Mr Cossar's assertion that "the fate of Sodom and Gomorrah also clearly demonstrates God 's abhorrence of sexual immorality..." is completely unfounded , and the only thing clear is an apparent lack of interest in a subject he feels so strongly about. Sexual immorality played a very minor role in God's deci sion to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah , and the actual impetus for the act was the inhospi tality of its citizens towards two of God's angels. The only mention of sex at all in Genesis chapter 19 (which Mr Cossar made very clear he wanted us to read) is when Lot, who was a favourite of God and who was led purposely out of Sodom with hi s two daughters before it was destroyed, was seduced by them shortly after. It wou ld be amusing to note such a blatant oversight in a 3rd

UI! A'S

Independent Student Newspape•

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Year EAS student if the issues concerned were not so volatile. In I Corinthians Chapter 6 , verses 9-13, Paul was quite specific in who wou ld not reach the Kingdom of Heaven, which includes "drunkards", "revilers", "thieves", and the all-encompassing "un-sanctified" (ie; non-Christians). No one group receives more condemnation than another; Mr Cossar 's theological leap in targeting homosexuals is congruent wi th closed-mindedness and conceit. The rest of Mr Cossar's letter degenerates further into a morass of biblical texts taken completely out of context. I marvel that such a poorly researched, poorly written paper from a university student should have been given the opportunity to express ideas which are as small as they are unfounded. Francesca Broadbent DEV 1 he letter- sorry epistle- to LGB fro m !a n Cossar (May 3) mentions a number of negative quotations from what is often referred to, unfortunately, as the ' Good Book'. However he overlooks, or does not mention, one important - and positive - point. Jesus said nothing about homosex uality. Had he done so I'm fairly confident that it would have been recorded and quoted often. But, maybe he did pronounce on the subject and, maybe, his pronouncemen ts were subsequently ignored by the evangelists, who set down their gospels much later. There were more than four authors of gospels; the others' writings were discarded later by the church. Like many Chri stians (and others) !an Cossar, like his oft-quoted St Paul, equates love with genital activity, especially when referring to homosexual love.

As an ex-Christian gay man I am touched by !an Cossar's compassion for me but, alas, not by his patronising attitude towards me. But if it gives him any peace of mind, he may care to know that I wou ldn 't dream of sayi ng that God made me "that way." God didn't make me any way.

Terry Adkin WAM 2

he Catholic committee at UEA would like to express concern at the views of Ian Cossar published in the last issue of Concrete, in the letter' An Epistle to the LGB.' Religion , for us , is not about quoting random verses from the Bible to justify one's own point of view. While the sc riptures seem to give a complete picture, we see that there is more to the story. It is about a way of life which is

ho is Tony Crush

HIS 2? Does he ac

tually exist? H ow does he come up with these ridiculous letters every week? More to the poin4 why are they printed every week? Doesn't he do any work? Why not just give him a column and be done with it, and leave the letters page free for poignant hardhitting letters such as this one commenting on articles within Concrete, or providing amazing exposes into aspects of student

one of toleration, understandi ng and - most importantly - respect for al l. One of the biggest faults of any religion is the arrogance of assumption that our o wn particular views are correct. It is acceptable to have views o n a subject, but this does not give anyone the right to sit in judgement over others. The balance between firm belief and tolerance is a difficult one to find. We believe that !an's letter has not achieved this balance. We firmly believe that it is in entering into dialogue with people that we will achieve a greater understanding of one another.

Matthew Doyle HIS 1, Mairin Breathnach and Father Neil Crayden (chaplains)for UEA 's Catholic Committee

Calling Mr Crush... poverty, degradation or even debauchery. Who cares about taxi ·drivers in Hainault?

Ben Rolfe SOC 3 Fiona MacDonaM HIS 3 PS. Perhaps we c,o uld have a little more f ocus on broom cupboa.tds rather than 'unpronouncable towns in Essex.

•Editor: Niall Hampton •Assistant Editor: Michele du Rand! •Part time Features Editor: Mark Austin • Go-Sports Editors: Nik Davy & Jane Horn er • Screen Editor: Caroline Jenkinson • Assistant Screen Editor: William Neil • Occasional Stage Editor: Joanna Stubbington • Music Editor: Peter 'Smash Hits' Hart •Assistant Music Editor: David 'Fashion Show' Hall eSpecial Projects Editor: Caroline Adlem •Picture Editor: Keith 'Mobile Phone' Whitmore •Chief Cartoonist: Tony Lansdowne •Chief Features Writer: Seth Levine • Chief Music Writer: Sa m Richards • Chief Screen Writer: Matthew Doyle • Chief Stage Writer: Anna Currie • Chief Photographer: Sam Jary ~Editorial Contributors: John Wood, Guy Hughes, Liz r.r. ••. ..,. Jim S:." Trisla.~ - .. ,_,, Sara~1 Oli·1er Pt,o,og.·aphers. Mohamec Hassan eSpecial ..,.. ,..r I ~ 1 \' I 3 .. 'J~ rv " ) lv.ar ..tye .. Stephen Hovou.IL. I

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Concrete, Wednesday, May 17; 1995

THE

LAW

• In the second of two articles concerned with environmental issues, Guy Hughes calls for UEA to review its policies on ethical investments

s with any institution, UEA has a considerable amount of money invested in pension schemes, trust funds and other development funds. For example, in July 1994 UEA held pension investments of £30.6 million. Anyone interested in ethical or environmental issues may reasonably wish to ask 'How is this money invested?'. This is especially true for any member of UEA's pension scheme, as it is their money. As is typical, Phillips & Drew, UEA's trust fund managers, have a portfolio of investments, including Government fixed-interest bonds, index-linked gills and a large number of shares in public owned companies. Although a wide portfolio of investments spreads the risk of losing money, what is important, however, is whose shares Phillips & Drew decide to buy. In 1994, UEA held shares in a range of companies, including BP, British and American Tobacco Industries (BAT) and British Gas. From the list of companies UEA chooses to invest in, one example is Shell, the world's leading oil and gas producer. For the last 50 years, Shell has been extracting oil from Ogoniland, a region of southeast Nigeria, in collaboration with the military government. The consequences were recently the subject of the Channel 4 documentary 'Delta Force'. The first major ecological catastrophe occurred in 1970, when Shell spilt the equivalent of 30 million barrels of oil onto farmland. Twenty five years later, the inhabitants of Ebubu village are still waiting for Shell to compensate them. This was not a one-off occurrence: between 1986 and 1991, there were more than 2,500 spills. A 1993 report by British agronomist Nick Ashton-Jones found "badly maintained and leaking pipelines, polluted water, fountains of emulsified oil pouring onto villagers' fields ... blowouts, air pollution, canals driven -through farmland causing flooding and disruption of fresh water supplies, drainage problems, polluted wells, inordinate delays in repairing faults and continuous noise." This is in marked contrast to a UK pipeline running from Cheshire to ScoUand of which Shell said

"every metre of the route, and each hedge, wall and fence was catalogued and rebuilt exactly as it had been before Shell arrived." The 500,000 Ogoni people who inhabit the area of Shell's operations have been peacefully protesting for adequate compensation, as well as seeking to end persecution by their government. The Ogoni people estimate that 1 ,800 of their number have been killed by the Nigerian security forces. Amnesty International has recorded many instances of extrajudicial killing, torture, rape and detention without trial or charge. In January 1995, a leaked Nigerian government memo stated "Shell operations [are] still impossible unless ruthless military operations are undertaken for smooth economic activities to

without abusing the world's natural resources or exploiting human and animal life." Ethical funds are designed to prevent investment in companies involved in one or more of the following activities: armaments, animal experimentation, environmental destruction, excessive political donations, factory farming, third world exploitation, trade with oppressive regimes and tobacco. This idea is no longer viewed as unusual or eccentric as the first ethical pension fund was established over a decade ago. There are now ethical arrangements for a wide range of financial services, available from major financial institutions including the TSB, Clerical Medical and Friends Provident. By way of example, last year TSB confirmed that it had dis-

over its first nine years. As more investment becomes ethically and environmentallybased, more pressure will be applied to companies to behave ethically. Some predict that one day all investment will be ethical by this process. Regardless of whether this turns out to be true, surely it is time for UEA to change and stop supporting companies such as Shell. In February the Union was refused a meeting with UEA's administration on the subject of ethical investment. At the time of going to press, the Registry had still not replied to a letter, sent in early April, which addressed the Union's concerns. Once again the Registry seems

Ethical investment is described as •a way of investing money without abusing the world•s natural resources or exploiting human and animal life• ... adopting ethical investment criteria does not mean that it is necessary to accept lower financial performance

A recent campus protest commence." lt recommends deployment of 400 military personnel, "wasting targets, cutting across communities and leadership cadres, especially vocal individuals and various groups." In July 1994 UEA owned approximately £500,000 worth of Shell shares. This demonstrates the necessity for an ethical criteria to be applied to all UEA's investments. Ethical investment is described as •a way of investing your money

posed of its 110,000 shares in Shell, which it held as part of its Environmental Investors Fund. However, adopting ethical investment criteria does not mean that it is necessary to accept lower financial performance. In July 1993, 'Which' magazine reported "Green and Ethical investments have performed as well as, or even better, than other investments in the past." In fact, the first fund set up outperformed 95 per cent of all individual UK share pension funds

intent on ignoring UEA students. • Last week, a UGM motion titled 'Ethical Investment' was overwhelmingly passed by UEA students. The motion mandated the Union to run a campaign to lobby UEA to invest its funds ethically. • During 1990-91 Shell made • research grants to both the Schools of Chemical Sciences and Environmental Sciences. lt is not known Hfurther grants have been made.

1 7, 199 5

Concrete , Wednesday, May .

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THURSDAY MAY 18 Cannon I Odeon See Wednesday, May 17. Cinema City Wild Reeds- 2.30pm, 5.45pm, 8.15pm. Union Films Interview With The Vampire Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise bite necks in this fang-tastic movie version of the Anne Rice novel. £2, 7pm.

Compiled by Caroline Ad/em

WEDNESDAY MAY 17

Theatre Royal Tribute to the Blues Brothers7.30pm.

Odeon Some or all of the films from Wednesday should be showing. Streetfighter opens today. Cinema City Wild Reeds- 5.45pm, 8.15pm. Roujin Z (12)- Classic cyberpunk animation from Japan. 11pm. Union Films Killing Zoe -The lovely Jean Hughes-Anglade stars in this violent thriller, directed by Tarantino's regular collaborator, Roger Avery. £2, 8pm.

BOYS ON THE SIDE

Cannon Screen One: Boys on the Side (15)- Weepie-type road movie for girls, starring Whoopi Goldberg and Drew Barrymore. 2.15pm, 5.50pm, 8.35pm. Screen Two: Outbreak (15)Dustin Hoffman is the unlucky bloke who has to stop an incurable virus from eating everyone. Oo-er! 2.15pm, 5.35pm, 8.25pm. Screen Three: The Shawshank Redemption (15)- Oscar nominated tale of prison life, starring Tim Robbins. 2.1 Opm, 8.20pm. Also Immortal Beloved (15)Gary Old man goes "Da da da daaahhh!" in this biopic of Beethoven. 6pm . Screen Four : Before Sunrise (15)- Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy meet on a train and er... that's about it. 2.30pm, 5pm, 7pm. Odeon Screen One: Muriel's Wedding (15) - or "How to live in a world of Abba songs and wedding dresses and stay completely sane". 1.20pm, 3.40pm, 5.45pm, 8.20pm. Screen Two: Legends of the Fall (15)- BRAD PITT!!!! Need we say more? 2.45pm, 5.15pm, 7.55pm. Screen Three : The Madness of King George (PG)- Nigel Hawthorne and Helen Mirren star in Alan Ben nett's adaptation of his own award-winning play. 3.25pm, 7.35pm. Also Dumb and Dumber (12)Jirn Carrey is dumb, Jeff Daniels is dumber. 1.30pm, 5.35pm .

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Cinema City Wild Reeds (15)- Coming-ofage story, set in a French boarding school during the 1960s. 5.45pm . Suture (15) - Weirdy thriller about two brothers - one rich, the other down on his luck. 81Snm' ~ • 1 •. t 1 • .·, t • , , .• •

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Union Films Time Cop- Jean Claude Van Damme flexes his muscles for a bit of time- travelling .. . oh, and a few punch-ups too. £2, 9pm.

Theatre Royal Tribute to the Blues Brothers6pm,9pm.

Theatre Royal The Official Tribute to the Blues Brothers - Time to party with Jake and Elwood once more! £2.50-£15, 7.30pm.

Maddermarket Habeas Corpus - Alan Bennett farce, which moves back and forth through a muddle of mistaken identies and sexual encounters. £2.50-£6.50, 7.30pm.

Norwich Arts Centre An English Heaven , an English Hell - former Brookside actor Mark Burgess performs works by Oscar Wilde and Rupert Brooke. £5.50/£4.50 cone, 8pm.

Norwich Arts Centre June Tabor- one of the genuinely unique voices of the folk world. £6/£4 cone, 8pm. Oval The Steptones, Rogues Gallery. 8pm. Boswells The Persuaders. 9pm to midnight. Hys Club night, 9pm-2am. Admission £2 all night. Happy Hour: midnight to 1am.

Norwich Arts Centre Generation of Peace (exHoneychild), Babyman, Gas Station DJs plus guests - acid funk at its best. £5/£4 cone, 8pm. Waterfront Milky Lunch- Uplifting House. DJ Roy the Roach (Ku & Pasha) +Tonic+ NW1 . Upstairs- Space Invaders. Progressive house and techno. DJs Craig Walsh (The Cause & 3rd Alternative)+ Vodka+ CJ. £6/£5. 8os wells Blues Inc. 9pm to midnight. Hys Club night. 9pm-2am. Admission £2 (9pm-10pm), £3 (10pm11 pm), £4 (11 pm-onwards). Ritzy Fast Trax. Admission £2 before 10.30pm, £3 after.

Cannon I Odeon See Friday, May 19.

Boswells Beyond the Blues. 9pm to midnight.

Cinema City Wild Reeds- 5.45pm, 8.15pm. The Nutcracker (U)- Macaulay Culkin in a heart-warming Victorian fairy tale. 2.30pm.

Ritzy Free admission with any student id before midnight. £1 .50 pints.

Theatre Royal Tribute to the Blues Brothers. 6pm,9pm.

Peppermint Park Student Night, 9pm-2am . Admission £1 before midnight (Tapas Bar open 7-10pm, cheap beer and free entry into PP before 10pm}.

Maddermarket Habeas Corpus. 7.30pm.

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Waterfront Thatcher Years - 80s nostalgia. Upstairs- Meltdown: lndie and alter.natlveaance. .. ~.

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Samanthas Rock Club. 1Op~-2am . Hys Club Night. 9pm to 2am. Admission £3 (9pm-10pm), £4 (10pm11pm), £5 (11pm onwards) Ritzy Furious Fun . £3 before 10.30pm, £5 after. 9pm to 2am.

Norwich Arts Centre Off Yer Face and Ege Barn Yas - a long overdue return to the crazy baldhead whipping up his own brand of bubbling acidic house. £5, 8pm.

Zoom (nr Cannon) Club Classics. Admission £2 (free for girls before 11pm).

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Odeon See Friday, May 19. Cinema City A Private Function (15) Michael Palin eo-stars with Maggie Smith and a pig. 5pm. Little Buddha (PG) - Keanu Reeves plays Prince Siddhartha in this tale of the founding of a religion and the reincarnation of

Theatre Royal Klaus Wunderlich - a virtuoso on the organ keyboard. £3-£11, 7.30pm. Maddermarket Habeas Corpus. 7 .30pm. Boswells Nostalgia. 12 noon to 3pm.

MONDAYMAY22 Cannon See Friday, May 19. Odeon See Friday, May 19. Cinema City Little Odessa (15) - a sombre family tragedy, starring Tim Roth and Edward Furlong. 5.45pm Natural Born Killers - you've read, heard and seen the hype, now finally watch the movie. 8.15pm. Theatre Royal Bob Monkhouse - great quizshow host, an even better stand-up comedian. £3-£14, 7.30pm. Maddermarket Habeas Corpus. 7.30pm.

Norwich Arts Centre Springfest '95 - a celebration of gay, lesbian and bisexual art and culture. HIV/AIDS Awareness Day: stalls, displays, info, advice. 10am -4pm. Boswells Jazz 'n' Blues Jam. Spm-11 pm. Ritzy Student Night. 9pm-2am . Entry SOp with student id. Peppermint Park NUS Student Night. Tapas Bar open 7pm-1 Opm, cheap beer and free entry to PP before 10pm. 9pm-2am. Zoom (nr. Cannon) Student Night- House and Trip Hop. Admission £2

TUESDAYMAY23

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Cannon See Friday, May 19.

Maddermarket Habeas Corpus. 7.30pm .

Odeon See Friday, May 19.

Norwich Arts Centre Springfest '95 - two plays being premiered by performers from the UEA Studio Theatre. £5/ £3.50 cone, 8pm.

Cinema City Little Odessa - 5.45pm Natural Born Killers- 2.30pm, 8.15pm.

SATURDAY MAY20

Hys Club night. 9pm-2am. Admission £1 all night. Happy Hour: midnight-1 am.

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a spiritual leader. Presented in association with Norfolk Tibetan Week. 7.30pm.

Peppermint Park Club night. 9pm to 2am.

DON JUAN DE MARCO

Samanthas The Fluff Syndicate. Dance/ Techno/Trance music. 10pm2am.

Cannon See Friday, May 19.

THEODEON-SEEMAY19

Boswells Lee Vasey Band. 9pm to midnight.

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Manhattans Club night. £3 before 11.30pm.

UEALCR Apache Indian- Rapper, 1FM DJ and the man behind that classic single 'Boom-Shak-a-Lak'. £7.

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SUNDAY MAY 21

FRIDAYMAY19 Cannon Some or all of the films from Wednesday should be showing. Don Juan DeMarco opens today.

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Manhattans Club night. £3 before 11.30pm. Peppermint Park Club night. 9pm to 2am. Zoom (nr Cannon) The Cow Club - Garage and House with the best DJs from East Anglia. £5/£4 with NUS card.

Union Films Airheads- 'Spinal Tap' type fun, focusing on the desperate attempts of a rock band to get some airplay. £2, 7pm. Theatre Royal Brideshead Revisited - stage adaptation of Evelyn Waugh's classic novel, starring Richard Todd and Nigel Davenport. £2£16, 7.30pm.

UEA live In The Hive Holloway Brothers - contemporary dance R&B with a jazz influence. Plus Cockspur rum promotion. Boswells Jazz 'n' Blues Jam. 9pm to midnight. Hys Club night. 10pm-2am, £1 all night.

Cannon Cinema, Prince of Wales Road. Tel623312 Odeon Cinema, Anglia Square. Tel 0426 932450 Cinema City, St Andrews Street. Tel 622047 ' Theatre Royal, Theatre Street. Tel 630000 Norwich Arts Centre, St Benedicts Street. Tel 660352 Maddermarket Theatre, Maddermarket. Tel620917 Manhattan Nightclub, Dove Street. Tel 629060 The Oval Rock House, Dereham Road. Te1748244 Peppermint Park, Rose Lane. Tel764192 Ritzy Nightclub, Tombland. Tel621541 Boswells/Hy 's , Tombland. Tel 626099 The Waterfront, King Street. Tel 632717

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Concrete, Wednesday, May

in~associatlon WEDNESDAY MAY 24 Cannon See Friday, May 19. Odeon See Friday, May 19. Cinema City Uttle Odessa- 5.45pm. Natural Born Killers- 8.15pm. Union Films Highlander Ill: The Sorcererpretty much the same as 'Highlander I & 11' really. £2, 9pm.

Theatre Royal Brideshead Revisited. 7.30pm.

Maddermarket HabeasCorpus. 7.30pm. Norwich Arts Centre Book readings and signings from top authors, including Patrick Gale and Nicky Edwards. Uve music in the bar comes from Martha Pellegrino and 'Come Flying'. £51£3.50 cone.

Waterfront Incognito- seminal jazz-funk band; we're assured they'll play a •stonking ser. £7. Boswells Horizon. 9pm to midnight. Samanthas The Fluff Syndicate. 1Opm-2am. Hys Club night. 9pm-2am, admission £1 all night.

Cannon See Friday, May 19. Odeon See Friday, May 19. Cinema City Straw Dogs - 5.45pm. Natural Born Killers - 8 .15pm. Baby's Day Out (PG) - John 'Home Alone' Hughes takes an even younger child on a madcap journey. 2.30pm.

Peppermint Park

Brideshead Revisited- 2.30pm, 7.30pm.

Maddermarket Habeas Corpus. 2.30pm,

Student Night. Admission £1 before 10.30pm. 9pm-2am.

7.30pm.

Zoom (nr cannon) Club Classics. £2 admission (free for girls before 11pm).

Comedy Cabaret+ Fancy Dress

Norwich Arts Centre

Cinema City Straw Dogs (18)- violent thriller from Sam Peckinpah, starring Dustin Hoffman as the wonn that turned. 2.30pm, 5.45pm. Natural Born Killers- 8.15pm.

Norwich Arts Centre Springfest Film Club -two showings: 5pm-7.45pm 'Tongues Untied' plus shorts, 8pm-11 pm 'Veronica Voss' plus shorts. £31£2 for each showing, £51£3.50 for both. Boswells The Roosters. 9pm to midnight Hya Club night. Admission £2 all night. Happy Hour: midnight to 1am.

7.30pm.

FRIDAYMAY26

+ Disco+ the great Springfest prize draw. £6/£4 cone, 8pm.

Cannon See Friday, May 19. Odeon See Friday, May 19.

Cannon See Friday, May 19. Odeon See Friday, May 19. Cinema City Star Trek: Generations (PG) perfect if you missed it at the Union Film showing last week. 2.30pm. Leon (18)- a hitman finds himself teaching a young girl how to kill. 5.45pm, 8.15pm.

Waterfront Milky Lunch pre.sent Swindleuplifting house. With DJ Tony de Vit +Lee Coombes + Tim Harrow+ David James +Mark

Edmonds. Upstairs: Space Invaders progressive house and techno. DJs lan M (Trade) +Aiphy+ Vodka+ Tonic. Admission £10/ £9, 9pm-6am.

TUESDAY MAY30 Cannon I Odeon See Friday, May 19. Cinema City Star Trek: Generations- 2.30pm. Leon- 5.45pm, 8.15pm. Union Fllms Only You - romantic comedy, set in Italy, starring Marisa Tomei and Robert Oowney Jr. £2, 7pm.

Hys Club night. 9pm-2am. Admission £2 (9pm-10pm), £3 (10pm11pm), £4 (11pm onwards).

Theatre Royal Swan Lake - the classic ballet, presented by the Northern Ballet Theatre. £4-£19.50, 7.30pm.

Maddermarket Habeas Corpus. 7.30pm.

Ritzy Admission £2 before 10.30pm, £3 after.

Norwich Arts Centre Gig night- tbc +The Rainbyrds. .8pm, £6/£4.50 cone.

ManhaHans Club night. £3 before 11.30pm.

UEA Live In the Hive Mammal+ Evolver+ DJ Louis. Uve techno incorporating theatre, mime, music and visual manipulation.

Brideshead Revisited - 7.30pm.

Boswells The DaiNng Brothers. 9pm to midnight.

Ritzy Furious Fun. £3 before 10.30pm, £5 after. 9pm-2am.

ManhaHans Club night. £3 before 11.30pm. Pepper mint Park Club night. 9pm to 2am.

Peppermint Park Club night. 9pm-2am.

Cinema City Russ Meyer double bill: Faster Pussycatl Killl Killl (18) and · 'Cherry, Harry & Raquel' (18). Spm.

MONDAY MAY 29

Peppermint Park Student night. 9pm-2am.

Theatre Royal

Samanthas Rockclub. 10pm-2am.

3pm.

Ritzy Student night. 9pm-2am. Entry 50p with student id.

Union Films Barcelona - a tale of two American cousins in Spain. £2, 7pm.

Hys Club night. 9pm-2am. Admission£3(9pm-10pm), £4 (10pm11pm), £5 (11pm onwards).

Boswells Broadside Swingtet. 12 noon to

Boswells Jazz 'n' Blues Jam. 8pm to 11pm.

Cinema City Natural Born Killers- 5.45pm. Straw Dogs - 8.15pm. Reservoir Dogs (18) - does this film need any introduction? I thinknot. 11pm.

Boswells East Coast Blues Band. 9pm to midnight.

SUNDAY MAY 28 Maddermarket HabeasCorpus. 7.30pm.

ROBROY Cannon I Odeon See last Friday. Rob Roy also opens today at The Odeon.

Waterfront Meltdown - indie and alternative dance. DJ Paul Fayers. Upstairs - live music. Admission £3.50/£3, 9pm-1 .30pm.

Theatre Royal Ritzy Free admission with any student id before midnight. Pints £1 .50.

cannon I Odeon See Friday, May 19.

Theatre Royal Brideshead Revisited- 2.30pm,

trom £3 or £4

SATURDAY MAY 27

THURSDAY MAY 25

Union Films Star Trek: Generations - Kirk reaches the final frontier, Picard becomes the new man at the helm of this never-ending series of films. £2, 7pm.

with the Theatre

17, 1995 11

Boswells Jazz 'n' Blues Jam. 9pm to midnight.

Zoom (nr Cannon) Student night. £2 admission with NUS card, 10pm-2am.

Complied by Carol/ne Ad/em

Concrete, Wednesday, May 1 7, 1995

.Get the beers in •.. Concrete,s in the bar again for yet another thrilling taste test session, only this time- it's bottled beers we're guzzling...

panel of eleven top beer experts tried out seven imported lagers In the hope of choosing an over all winner with marks out of ten given for the categoof ~ste, drinkability and summer 'feel-good factor'.

Ant: "I'll go along with anything' Matt says. • Niall: "Shall we all say that together then?" Everyone: "STELLAI" Niall: "Right. Marks out of ten for taste, drinkabllity and feel-good factor. Vicky, what do you reckon?" ·· Vicky: "Nine, nine, nine." Niall: "Call an ambulance, she's had enough!" John's been out of the room for the past ten minutes; "Have I missed something? Shall I taste this one? ...Erm, Although no blindfolds were involved, as originally inI think it's Holsten Pils: tended, the taste test was carried out as anonymously as Almost full score on guessing Stella Artol.s Dry, alpossible and none of the judging panel knew which beer they though John seems to be in another world. But then were drinking until all seven had been tested. again, he does usually drink Heineken. Tne fourth First one up, or rather 'downed' was San Mlguel. tray of beers arrives, although everyone has sudPeter: "This one's a bit sweet really" ' denly become more interested in getting hold Ant: "lt tastes quite strong too, so it probably isn't the best of some food than trying the next round. thing to drink in the sun." Keith: "Is it going to be a chicken-burger Matt: "I'll give it full marks for summer feel-good factor." then, or wnat?" Stuart: "Yeah, but you'd drink anything in this weather." Matt: "A nice Chinese wouldn't go Dave: "No, I'll give it ten out of ten too. Ifs beer isn't it1" amiss" Niall: "So what do you reckon it is then?" Niall: "What they need is a Sam: "Holsten Pils?" McDonalds on campus. • Vicky: "Yeah, either that or Heineken Export.• Peter: "Yeah, then Niall: "Only one answer please, everybody." we could do a John: "lt's got to be Heineken Export then. Yes, definitely." burger taste test. So, the result? Everyone was wrong. Very wrong. Next Two Big Macs for round please Mr Barman. me please!" Michele: "Ooh, this one's a bit fizzy. A few too many of Niall: "Come on these and you'd be burping all over the place." then, what do you Matt: "lt certainly tastes a lot different in plastic glasses than it does out of the bottle, but I think I'll go for Beck's." reckon on this one?" John: "Yeah, I thought we were all going to be blindfolded." Dave: "What, the Niall: "Slight technical problem there, I'm afraid." beer?" Keith: "You forgot didn't you?" Stuart: "The smell's a bit Michele: "What about marks then?" off-putting." Niall: "I was· just getting around to that. Matt, what do you Peter: "lt smells like reckon?" perm-lotion. Not that I'd Matt: "Two marks for taste, frur for drinkability and ten for the know." feel-good factor." Vicky: "Yeah, the smell kind of John: "Sorry, I'm a bit late. Is this the second one? Oh, it's not too reaches you before the taste does, albad. I'll give it eight out of ten." · though I suppose that wouldn't happen if you were drinking it out Peter: "So how come everyone else gives it less than five, and of bottles." John's really generous and gives it eight?" Matt: "I'll give it two marks for taste, ten for drinkabllity and ten Michele: "'Cause it's the first one he's had all day. He's bound to for summer feel-good factor." think it's alright." Sam: "Well, I suppose you can still drink it even if you don't like Stuart: "Well, I reckon this one has got to be Beck's." the taste." Dave: "No, I think it's San ~iguel. Beck's is a lot stronger than Dave: "After a couple of bottles, you wouldn't notice anyway." this." A tray of crisps appears out of nowhere, much to everyone's John: "Is it Stella?." Four of us were right in guessing Beck's. As for the others, well, delight. Michele: "Excellent... cheesy Doritos• it seems they can't tell their Spaniards fron their Germans, as most Niall: "So then, has anyone got any idea what they've just been of them thought it was San drinking?" Miguel. No way Jose. Dave: "Holsten Pils, mate." Matt: "Have we had the John: "I'd go for Beck's." Kaliber yet?" Matt: "Well, actually, I think it's Niall: "We're not doing Heineken Export myself.~ · Kaliber this time." And the real answer? Holsten Plls, of Dave: "All the better really. lt's not really worth drinking course, which only three of us guessed if it's got no alcohol in it." correctly. The crisps went down well, The next tray of drinks arthough. Beer number five is lined up berives and everyone psyches fore everyone's even finished the fourth themselves up for another one. taste session. Matt: "This one's a bit peppery." Pete: "Mmmm! Oh yes, Ant: "I wouldn't say that. I think it's quite it's Stella Dry. I've been drinkable in a roundabout kind of way." waiting for this one." Vicky: "lt tastes stronger than all the othMichele: "Gorgeous. ers we've had so far." Ten out of ten for everyPeter: "Well I like it.' Nine out of ten for thing." taste!" Dave: "Yeah, me too. Niall: "But do you know which one it is?" Full marks all round." Keith: "Holsten Pils?" Niall: "Is this some kind of conspiracy? Does it have something to Matt: "lt could be Heineken Export, I suppose." do with both of you coming from the same part of the country? Are Surprise, surprise, no one guesse-d it was Labatt's Ice. The you brought up on Mersey water or something?" penultimate tray of beers is sitting on the table ready and waiting. Matt: "I think it's Stella too." '~,

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Pete: "What do you mean there are only two to go? I was just getting in the mood for a few more." Stuart: "This has got to be San Miguel. lt's got the same fizz." Sam: "lt could be Labatt's." Niall: "What about the scores?" John: "All the sevens. Seve·n for taste, drinkability and feel-

good factor." Vicky: "Does drinkability really count at this stage?" Dave: "I like this one. Erm, full marks for feel-good factor." Peter: "Yeah, I don't feel too bad now, either." The Helneken Export empties are put to one side and the next bottles are opened and poured into little plastic glasses, ready for the final round in the battle of the bottles. Keith: "Do we need any more pictures?" Niall: "No, 1think we've got enough now, and the next lot will only be out of focus if you carry on drinking. Right then, any guesses?" Matt: "Budwelser." Ant: "Once again, I'll have to agree with Matt on that one. I'll go for Budweiser too.• Sam: "Full marks for summer feel-good factor." John: "Is it Budweiser then?" Budwelser it is and John has guessed correctly twice in a row now. He must be getting a taste for it. The final whistle blows and we reach the end of yet another spectacular beer taste test. . Michele: "What can we do next? How about bottled ciders?" Peter: "I could do the whole line of optics. And then do bottled ciders." And the results of the whole sordid guzzling affair? Stella came out on top, with a stunning overall mark of 85 per cent. As for the others...

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Concrete, Wednesday, May 1 7 , 199 5

CHARALTANS UBA LCR 3/5/95

n our way in, we are handed flyers advertising a forthcoming 'baggy revival' night, Northside included. However, I don't think The Charlatans will be attending. Although the Madchester scene was the wave they rode In on, their ship has stayed well and truly afloat while other floppy fringed vessels have sunk around them. Supporting tonight are rising Britpop stars, The Bluetones. From where I'm standing, singer Mark could be lan Brown and that's also a pretty good pointer to their music (Stone Roses pre-disappearance). Expect to hear more from this quarter. The Charlatans verily launch themselves into their set with a formidable trio of ' ...Easy Life', 'The Only One I Know' and best single to date 'Can't

Get Out Of Bed'. lt's obvious they're enjoying this. Tim Burrgess is cool without unnecessary attit ude and he takes time out between songs to shake the hand of literally everyone in the first three rows of the audience. The most im· portant player, however, Is just to Tim's left. lt is keyboardist Martin Blunt. He may resemble Roland Rivron after a particularly heavy drink· ing session, but without his dextrous digits, The Charlatans would be very average indeed. Imagine 'Weirdo' without the organ · you're right, it would sound rubbish. The Charlatans will never make a great album but the colossal 'Crashin' In' and new single 'Bullet Comes' signal that they are about to make their fou rth good one. They are the band you can put on your bedroom wall and rely on not to go off in a jazz/ funk direction. These Charlatans are no fakes. Sam Rictumls

I Faceless lclilevement

callyourdebot~Jbum 'Achievemen."f means Oi'!SoftWof:iings. lt's:l.era) <

Sheer.~ over~. orb) tmerstatedbloodandteatsralief. ln the case of Faceless it sounds like a bit of ......... •.&.,...;... ___ ..., • their press · ...,.. .. ,... _.,..,,,..." IS, as people! say, ~ Su~y luncnot an altuJJ. So thars tots of ii;Which ~~an age to~

prepare: and is~ !n~es leaVing you bl6iited and Wishing you hadn~ bOthered, is :?~=f'ticipation, mouthwateringdelights, apleasure,justeoough!Nilhlotsot

some

I'd plump for the crtspymoments opJion. 'Achl8vemenr sfJOwa us clear\ flande that ~ WOUld be~ at anyii~table. No clrtlrlder the finger-nails here. GastroiiOmic metaphor aside, ~IS the soundtrack of the night, it's the calm before dawn it's ~ng cats, it's Prowling, sult!y, sulky. lrs !9ng, slow sex in the dark it's Mlrl and ' sweaty•. it'~ and sticky, ifs a locl<ii(f chlldren'splaygroUrid, it's as~~ a big' old chair, it's ~~round and as SOft as a baby's bottom. Ifs petals falling, it's a babbling brook, it sways like a tree in the breeze and~~~ like Ice cream, itsparkle$Jikesummerdewandsmerts •Jk$fresh.w-- ad And"...__ ...J..t__ "· · finallyp ventsthesl ·· ·~ v.v · '"'""'a"""""' cut re . mile and metaphor rnachiile from working ifs. it's u-u it's ,.,.., good actuaJiy! .. ... ~~

ho!

............ -------~

~1JMG1~

Yes! Now you, too, l'lfllD can be a 'top'DJ'· , _ f om? oahn East Larndan way Where does i t c01118 r . t op of t he 'igh rise mate . All the top geezer7 l n . f or the last coupl a 1 ·n· 1t on a1r flat s •ave been P ayl . nal Anvwhere where · t•s gone nat10 · ;. years, and now l ll buildings really, which lS why there • s loads of t a . . . h . d much of lt ln Norwlc . you don't flnj toole JDUSic? The obvious more cOIIII\erWbo plays ung h. code Red, M-Beat cial jungle artistes are ~ {:~o~~ of unknowns pl ayed 0 and General Levy, plus a w re extremely fashionon pirate stations whose ~ame:i~h your trendy jungleable to drop in conversatlon

the

head mat es in The H~ l ike? The popular (and rather What does i t so ·aoo-Yaka aoo. gle sound is the famous . cliched) Jun . alised by General Levy. MuslYaka' chant as lmmort tl speeded-up reggae callY' it's a cross lbe~ee~ ~~~~ts and f rantic flaros and house. There's oa o 1 s An old trick is . d ·th synths and s~ e · . . al l overlal Wl . . th the drums tnpp1ng 1 class1c w1 . . f 1 to cover a s ow .sou . the recent Jungle verslon o out in double tlffie, as l n . n-"' •s •sweet Love'· . ,,.. i sts dance? ArmS 1n the M 1ta DC1J'er d jungl e entuus a . HOW o . k of total concentratlon on . loo "'ed ·n pockets . A b1t al· r ' legs ak1mbo, a b · 1 hones tuc ... 1 their faces and 1110 1 e P d speed cocktail really. like a chicken.on afco~e anjungle enthusiasts don't From a cred pou~t 0 Vlew,s but round their record dance round thelr han~g 'couple of textboOkS, a pabags ·(usuallY contalnlng a . ·n them) . f home-made sarnles l per and a packet o ... n y ou' r e listening to do you know wue d HOW hose little casio keyboar s jungle? Remember one of t en ears old? Well. it, s you had when you were about t ;[ thm to max tempo and , l ike t urning up the Boss~nova r Y h a 5 g1gawatt PA. playing it throug . the reminder that •Jungle Where i s i t ~~? oesplte st being superseded by yet is massive' it ~s ln fac~ fat f or things like •gospel more dance hybnds. watc o~ . ns er such generlC mutatlO . house' and Oth

••••• •••• •••• •••• ••••• ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• ••••••••••••••••••••••• • •

THE NUBILES NAC 22/5/95 For those who like their indie rock laced with funk, punk and mad~yed stares, get down to see The Nubiles who are playing the Wilde Club at Norwich Arts Centre on

May 22nd.

TheNubiles

Featuring fonner FIVe Thirty frontman Tara Milton, The Nubiles have received much critical acclaim for their first two indie singles, 'L.ayabout' and Without Waking'. Support comes from two of the best local bands around, Magoo and Choklut Orinj.

et Wil e... BULL TACO NAC 2 9 / 5/ 95 The next week, the Wllde Club witnesses the return of Bull Taco (formerly known as Rug rat).

Not In f act a cowboy blueslcajun from Texas as the name might s uggest, Bull Taco are a hardco re band from the North In t he same vein as Leatherface and China Drum.

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ar~a~ other than the songstrel de ertcause of her, ahem, talent in This IS the third single to come fr pa men!. but ou'd om Sa~me Carls?n·.as she's Still listening to 'Saturday hf b~ forg•ven for th•nkJng you were You can still do the same d~~ce or Ano.ther Day' cos it's so similar. Ritzy's, you'll be pleased to kno ' and stll! look crap on the floor at excite the Loaded readers ("I wdTher~ s ~ome rude bits in here to you're bound to find you end ~ee. y~u Jns~de me tonight!") and mer. Predictable but another t;gsh,~tg,lnfg this for the rest of the sum' • eel. Peter Hart

~own to her friends,

How we laughed... You will remember Ugly Kid Joe from a few years back. They were the brattlstl, bandwagon-jumping, MTV·frlendly, pop-metal upstarts whose singer (Whltfleld Crane) had the most blatantly made-up name In pop history. They had a hit with the highly Irritating 'Evel)'thlng About You' and then, thankfully, went away.

But be afraid, be very afraid because Ugly Kid Joe are back. And, hey, they're still just gooflng around, wearing big shorts and rlfflng with abandon. In other word8, they're still crap. Their competence, though, must be commanded. Even Slash might be jealous of a few of those licks. And of course, anyone who likes their rawk music blaring out of the stereo at top

volume while doing 100 down Santa Monlca Boulevard will be ecstatic as they play air guitar along to the likes of 'Jesus Rode A Harley'. Indeed, If Ugly Kid Joe are takIng the piss, it's a fantastically well-observed parody. Sadly, beneath the dumb image, it's all too serious - 'Menace To Sobriety' Is a ad, pathetic excuse for an album. Ssm Rlchards

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16 Concrete, Wednesday, May 17 , 1995

UEA LCR Weds May 31 £3

UEA Fashion Show Thurs June 1 £4

UEA Fashion Show & disco Fri June 2 TBC

Pavement With support from Mercury Rev Sun June 4 £9.50

The Stranglers with support from Mike Peters. Post punk heroes still on the road Weds June 7 £7.50

Roll Harris Fri June 9 £9

Therapy? +

Skunk Anansie

+ Schtum

Sat June 10 £8

'Jim Rose Circus' Bizarre death defying tricks, be warned Tues June 13 £7

t has been an awfully long wait, but at last it's here. ) Finally, we get to see the delectable Liam Neeson in a kilt. Woarrghhh! (Whatever happened to impartiality?- Ed) . Ahem. Well, 'Rob Roy' has far more to offer the cinemagoer than that, although it has to be said that Liam's knees are the most wibblesome specimens of masculinity ever seen ... (I'm warning you - Ed) . Yes , er... right. The film is set in 18th Century Scotland , the home of Rob Ray MacGregor and his clan . Rob Ray arranges to borrow money from the Marquis of Montrose in order that they might all sur- ROB ROY vive the harsh Highland win- USA (1995) ter. Swashbuckler However, his trust in less Dlr: Mlchael Cato ..J honourable men makes Odeon ·from May 26" ones him a pawn in a ruthless plot that threatens to destroy scheming henchman, and Eric everything he knows. But when honour no longer Stoltz as Rob's friend Alan McDonald. Some might find that 'Rob Roy' serves, there's only one thing suffers from the usual fate of the Hollywood that can save him , namely history makeover, but if you suspend any good old-fashioned love, which comes in the form of knowledge you might have about the relevant facts, and enjoy it purely for the Rob Roy's wife Mary (Jessica romantic epic that it is, you won 't be too Lange). disappointed. The all-star cast also includes Now can I go back to Liam's John Hurt as the Marquis of legs? (No! Concrete's editorial team) . Montrose, lim Roth as his

Boo Radleys Wed June 14 £7.50

Waiter Trout

thewaterfront Weds May 24 £7 adv

Incognito 16 piece jazz funk soulsters return with support from Eusabe Sat May 27 £3.50 dr

Melldown Club with live bands in the studio: Oedipussy, Magoo and Angel Falls. lndie downstairs. Tues May 30 £5 adv

Reel lndie metal rock with support from Blunt and UEA's own Wake Weds May 31 £5 adv

English Rose the tribute to the Jam, plus Selecter instrumental + DJs Thurs June 1 £7 adv

Misty in Roots Thurs June 15 £7.50

·oillord & Tilbrook acoustic show from the Squeeze frontmen

t .?.,

•

v ·e from IJEA Umon fin rce Ll a!l5401 ur 764754

-------------,

'•From Delinquent to 1 \ Streetfighter... that's Kylie! 1 I Liz Mills puts her hand_ on ~er\ I heart and asks if the pint-size I ~heila'~ film _!_s_an~ cop:_:: __ _j

ters as well, and hey, let the ot content with just thrills and futuristic spills roll. bringing comic So it's your usual "climatic battle strips to life, firstpitting good against evil with the time director and fate of the free veteran screen writer world hanging in the Stephen 'Die STREET FIGHTER balance" sorta Hard' de situation really. USA (1995) Souza and 'Action Adventure Rather bizarre co have Olr! stephen de souza casting finds Kylie gone one Odeon. fro~ May 19 Minogue in her step further latest big screen 'break' and brought (remember 'The Delinquents'? the video game 'Streetfighter 11' best forgotten really) as Guile's to the big screen. Which does sidekick Cammy; a "powerful pose the question of what hapwoman both physically and pened to part one .... mentally." Anyway, the high octane action Or as Kylie sees her; "everyis to be found in 'Shadaloo thing I'm not." City', where a seven monthMing-Na Wen (of 'The Joy Luck long civil war has been raging. Club' fame) plays a TV reporter Things come to a head when who dedicates her life to depsychotic self-styled warlord, stroying Bison, having mastered General M Bison (Raul Julia) 1000 different ways to kill him; takes 63 relief workers hosSimon Callow of 'A Room and tage, ransoming them for a With A View' and 'Four Wedmere 20 billion dollars. dings' fame. Not the stuff of the Enter good guy Colonel William multi-media video world, but F Guile (Jean Claude Van still, you've got to hand it to De Damme), head of allied forces Souza; it can't be that easy to no less, and his posse of asmake a full length movie out of sorted streetfighters, who just a computer game. happen to be ancient arts mas-

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----r I

Concrete, Wednesday, May 17, 1995

STRAW DOGS USA (1971)

Thriller Dlr: Sam Pecklnpah Ctnema City· from May2S

ack in 1971 when Quentin Tarantino was nly eight, it was Sam Peckinpah who was under attack in the violence debate with his powerful film 'Straw Dogs'. Starring Dustin Hoffman as the worm that turned, your best chance to see this controversial film is at Cinema City this month, since it is still banned on video. Dustin Hoffman plays a gentle American academic who wants to get away from the violence of New York. He decides to move to his English wife's, Susan George, native Cornwall, expecting to find some rural bliss. However, this is not the Cornwall we all know and love. This is Cornwall according to Sam Peckinpah and all does not go according to plan. Hoffman finds a local community which is at first hostile to him, and later downright violent After being confronted in his home by the locals, he finally snaps and turns into a vigilante, hunting them down. Uke the ear cutting scene in Tarantino's 'Dogs', the scene in Peckinpah's 'Dogs' which caused most of the trouble was the shocking rape of Susan George.

~Matthew Doy/e looks at why .,.h __ _

why he was accused of being a misogynist and a fascist. What is certain is that Peckinpah was never one to pull his punches and 'Straw Dogs' will stick in the memory after watching it. Go and see what you think.

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The scene was filmed in a way which draws the audience in, to a distressing degree. Despite being over twenty years old, the film remains a powerful and also a disturbing work. Peckinpah was not short of critics, and it is easy to see

Contempory dance R&B with a jazz Influence plus Cockspur rum promotion

s worst movie

dangerouslybalL..-- ' e space of a fortnight ,_,,,..,high above the - - - - - - __ and wielding a sword, brought Depp to widespread • ._lwQareltUI'Iiltdln ,seducer cl -~ ~v:.: ~itl417,- ~JWt8501.l:dWardO~..._a Distraught aft the loss is suicidal. movie directortrying tooonThe police, certain he's a mad- DON JUAN DEMARCO vince Hollywood of his out· man, turn to Dr Jack Mickler standing -as he saw it· talent. USA (1995) (Brando), who succeeds in After enlisting various help, Romantic Comedy talking him down. including washed up horror Dlr: Jeremy Leven On the verge of retirement, legend Bela lugosi (Oscar Mickler, a highly-respected but -~llly18 winner Martin landau) and his burned-out clinician, commits other transvestite friend Bunny Depp to his care. Mickler has Breckbridge (Bill Murray), EDWOOD ten days to offer a diagnosis Wood reached the prime of his USA (1995) and recommend treatment career by making some of the Don Juan then tells him fantas- Bloplc: worst movies ever. tic stories of adventure and lt was during such schlock Dlr: Tlm Burton romance. horror gems as 'Glen or 0c1eon. from .rune a Convinced of Don Glenda', 'Bride of the Monster' Juan's sanity, Mickler examines his own life as and 'Plan 9 From Outer Space', that Woods love he rekindles the love long since lost with his wife, for women's clothes got slightly out of hand, Marilyn (Faye Dunaway). prompting his beloved Dolores Fuller (Sarah Despite his large girth, dodgy blonde wig and Jessica Parker) to express her concern about his reports of him being fed his lines to a receiver in fetish. Enter new love Kathy O'Hara (Patricia his ear, Brando does show some of his old talent, Arquette) who liked him just the way he was. Ah! in a welcor e return to fonn. Meanwhile this is Johnny Depp gives another entertaining pertonn Depp's movi . n~·s perfectly cast aJ'ICI easny nghe' '10tjustapre.tyfac P rbe ~ v b Latin love •. Don Jua _ ..1arro " e tf , EdWood V et>

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Concrete, Wednesday, May 17~ 1995

The

event

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<Ju~

Pull up a pew P

ull Up a Pew was founded last year by members of the drama sector and the drama society. Its aim is to provide a platform for writers to air their work on a regular basis with a view to later performances. Material is presented in the form of readings, followed by discussion of the scripts by actors and other members of the group. Although both the drama sector and Dramasoc have successfully produced student written plays in the past, budding playwrights may find themselves discouraged by the pressures of casting and directing scripts that could benefit from first being worked upon with actors and directors. Criticism that may arise from readings gives the writer the opportunity of further developing their work with the help of performers , and of experiencing some of the difficulties that can arise during the staging process. Last term saw Pull Up a Pew's first production, where two one-act play's and a monologue were performed. Plans are now being made for their second show, where various scripts will be per-

Review: Scapegoat Theatre Diary of a Madman

UEA Studio 11 &12 May.

'Diary of a Madman' charts the growing delusions of eccentric clerk Poprischin in Scapegoat's funny and original adaption of Gogol's classic tale. Popischin's secret obsession with the Director's daughter takes him into a world where dogs write letters and lowly, pencil-sharpening clerks become the King of Spain. Stealing the letters of Fidel the dog, Poprischin learns that he is mocked by the subject of his love, and as his fantasies take on increasing absurd proportions, his vision of reality becomes more and more surreal. "Good," he thinks, on hearing the dogs converse by the road, "now I'll learn everything." When finally he is committed to an asylum he interprets his treatment for madness as ceremonies paying homage to his new life as Ferdinand VIII of Spain. Scapegoat's production gives vivid life to both the comic and the sinister in Gogol's short story, capturing the ironies and ambiguity of his illusions as characters people both the real and fantastic in his diary. As his fantasies eventually swallow up reality, Poprischin's walk "from breakfast to madness" finds him in the asylum, wearing his clerk's suit as a madman's straitjacket. Scapegoat treat the tale with sympathy and humour in an entertaining adaption supported by inventive performances from all members of the cast.

formed as part of a one-week festival of plays in June. Material ranges from tenminute monologues to fulllength plays, and coves a diversity of themes. A new translation based on Shakespeare's Coriolanus will also be performed as a reading in the amphitheatre. The work of EUR students, this dramatisation of the Coriolanus story is from the hitherto neglected work of the 18th century German writer Lensz , and UEA will see the very first production of this new translation in October. Writers, directors and actors have been drawn from the drama sector, Dramasoc and ~eMAprogrnmm~inCre~

tive Writing and Theatre Directing. Pull Up a Pew offers writers and directors the opportunity of developing ideas away from the more pressured environment of a formal production, and wants to encourage as much new work as possible . Actors, directors and backstage help are required as well as hopeful dramatists, and it doesn't matter if scripts are completed plays , comedy sketches, half-finished scenes or just possible ideas for future productions.

Well, it just goes to show that all the best people read Concrete! Last week we caught Blue Peter presenters Diane-Louise Jordan and Stuart Miles taking a break from their busy schedule to look at our

latest issue. The two, who present top BBC children's show Blue Peter, were at Earlham Park last week along with co-presenter·Tim Vincent, where they rnet performers from the Moscow State Circus. Tim donned his top hat and

tails to play ringmaster in the big top where he was Joined by local children for a preview performance while Stuart and Diane sat safely on the sidelines •• eating candy-

floss!

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Concrete, Wednesday, May 17, 1995

Matthew Doyle gets the popcorn in and takes a look at Quentin Tarantino's new release 'True Romance ' out now to buy on video

rom Quentin Tarantino, creator of 'Reservoir Dogs' and 'Pulp Fiction', comes 'True Romance', now available to buy on video. As most of you probably know, ifs the tale of young love on the run between comic shop assistant Clarence (Christian Slater) and call girl Alabama (Patricia Arquette). After a whirlwind romance while watching a Kung Fu triple bill at the local cinema, they decide to get married. But there is one small obstacle; Clarence, being the gentleman he is, decides to go and tell Alabama's pimp Drexel (Gary Oldman) that she is leaving. This does not meet with instant approval, but once fqrcefully convinced, Clarence high tails it out with Alabama's case. However, instead of her suitcase being full of

clothes, they find Or Zhivago ·or to translate, a rather large amount of drugs. First popping in to see dad, Dennis Hopper, they dash off to LA to sell the drugs, with all the action we have come to expect from Tarantino, as they get chased by the mob and the cops. All ending with one of the best finale shoot outs ever - well, certainly since 'Reservoir Dogs'. The cast are excellent with Slater and Arquette working well together. There are also a some great cameos from Christopher Walken, Dennis Hopper and a hilarious and permanently stoned Brad Pitt, making the bits between the bullets just as exciting. Directed by Tony Scott, 'True Romance' is an amusing, action packed, andrenalinefilled movie, which stands up to repeated viewing thanks to a great script and

some excellent performances. Go out and buy it now. But, if you enter our competition, you could get a copy for free!

COMPETITION TIME To mark the retail release of 'True Romance\ thanks to those absolutely wonderful people at Warner Home Video and Joe Bloggs, we've got a copy of the video and poster to give away, together with an exclusive Joe Bloggs 'Get Your Rocks Off' t·shlrt. The question Is: Where was Tarantlno working when he wrote 'True Romance'? Answers to be posted to us via our Competitions Box In UH. Good lucid

Firstly, some congratulations are probably in order. Nexus UTV, as part of the UEA Open Day, successfully broadcast across campus and the World Wide Web for a whole 24 hours. Good work fellas! But just because exams are here, that doesn't mean your top campus TV station has stopped broadcasting. Back in their regular schedule, you'll find all that's best in television • top sport, top films, and, of course, top soaps. Alongside 'Home and Away' and 'Neighbours' you'll find Nexus's own pink production, the brand new soap opera with a difference, 'Plastic Lives'. See elsewhere in Concrete for more information on this hot and happening show. Stay tuned for summer!

•••••••••• • •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• The column that fondly remembers those classic 1V programmes ofyesteryear.••

No.4: BAGPUSS Surely the children's programmes of the 1970s can be summed up in two words - Oliver Postgate. This man • nay, genius was responsible for such classics as 'lvor the Engine', 'Noggin the Nog' and the irreplaceable 'Bagpuss', which must surely have a special place in TV heaven. The adventures of that saggy old cloth cat, baggy and a bit loose at the seams, were the staple fare of weekday lunchtimes. A fine supporting cast Charlie Mouse, Madeleine the rag doll, Gabriel the toad and, of course, Professor Yaffle, also made their mark on the sepia-tinted

world of Emily's shop. Who could forget such classic episodes such as the one with the watermill that made chocolate biscuits out of breadcrumbs and butterbeans? Or the small, soft Hamishes that could make bagpipe noises come out of their noses? Or the ballet shoe that two mice used as a rowing boat to get to the Stilton cheese in the larder? And then there were the songs, crammed full of lyrics that would surely make Gary Barlow weep at his own inadequacy. "Row row row your boat/what an awful pong/diddley diddley diddley diddley/what a silly

song". Perfection. The ultimate tune though, was the one that the mice sang every week, whenever they were called upon to mend something. Altogether now: "We will wash it/we will polish it/we will make it look nice, nice, nice." Sadly, Bagpuss went off our screens sometime in the mid-eighties, never to return. Rumour has it that Sky television made a cartoon out of it. CARTOON?! What a travesty! No, Bagpuss, you are best left to our fond memories; unless the BBC decide to crank up the marvellous, mechanical mouse organ once again, of course .... Carol/ne Jenlclnson

Concrete, Wednesday, May 17, 1995

event & 1rtiQ. '

EAS are to celebrate the work of the author Malcolm Bradbury. To be held on Friday in Lecture Thea· tre 1 there will be readings by both lan McEwan and Rose Tremain. Admission Is free and the celebration will begin at 6.15pm.

(!J o o Ks h e I f\ Girl Interrupted Susannah Kaysen Virago £8.99 The true story of Susannah Kaysen's time in a mental institution, thi!'i book is probably one of the most important of the year. Susannah Kaysen spent two years in a mental institution famous for patients such as Sylvia Path, Robert Lowell and James Taylor. Twenty five years later this is her story about her experiences . Interspersed with the doctors notes, it shows the difference between her and the doctors language and perceptions of her disorder. Brought up in the academic household of an economics professor and a pianist in Cambridge, Massachusetts, Kaysen graduated from high school and , avoiding college, moved into a commune . After a half hearted suicide attempt she ended

up visiting a psychotherapist, who after one short consultation, sent her in a taxi directly to the Mclean Hospital. The book follows her stay in the hospital and subsequent analysis of the ideologies behind her treatment. Described as a 'poignant, honest, and triumphantly funny, compelling and heartbreaking story' by the New York Times Book Review, this masterpiece has attracted huge amounts of national media attention. lt will be interesting to a variety of people. Immediately to those in the literary, psychoanalytical and women 's studies are nas, but also to anyone that has ever sat down and read a book or a magazine. Get That Job! Colleen Robertson Harper Collins £5.99 A fun and accessible book, with quizzes and case studies, Get That Job provides any potential job seekers with a positive

attitude to go and approach a task that many regard as daunting and impossible. Most people spend about a third of their lives at work, so it's important to find a job that keeps you happy and fulfilled, and meets any other needs that are Important to you. At last, there is a mass market, all encompassing guide for the first time job seekers on how to find the perfect job and then on how to make sure that you get it. Get ThatJob has two main objectives: to tell the reader about the job market and how to best approach it, that is how to write curriculum Vitaes, follow-up procedures, and interview techniques. Get That Job provides an interesting and positive look at developing your own skills and identifying the key areas to highlight for your needs. lt gives you all the information that you need to answer those all-important questions-what job do I want? and why do I want it? lt's a great little book and comes thoroughly recommended.

t f

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Rose Lane Norwich

Summer 95 - Student nights have never been better on Mondays and Wednesdays, with guest DJs & live entertainment. Open 7pm - FREE admission 84 9pm (Weds only 50p after 9pm with this ad)

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BORED STUPID? Gel down fo Peppermint Park on Monday nigiJfsl ROAR

Concrete, Wednesday, May 17, 1995 21

I •In the last of our series of short stories written by students on UEA•s Creative Writing MA, Toby Litt enters the realm of murder and paranoia in an everyday tale of one man•s obsession with his neighbours. Illustration by Tony Lansdowne.

t was the flies. lt was the flies, you see, that first lead me to suspect that the man living in the end flat of my block had mur dered his mothe·r. They hung about all last summer. In front of the lift. There were, I will readily admit, a few flies at the other end as well, but not half so many. And then there were the grease spots on the floor outside his flat. And the fact that the curtains were never ever drawn. And the brown envelope, addressed to his mother from the DHSS, which I received by mistake, and which I posted through his door a few days later. And the fact that the man had long dirty greasy hair, black dirt thick under his nails, smoked roll-ups, smelt of urine, went shopping in the Amdale Centre instead of Putney or Wimbledon, was known to frequent the library, was an obvious purchaser of pornographic materials and did not have a job of ~ny description. And the fact that no one on the estate could ever remember having seen his mother since the day, years and years ago, when they moved in. He pees in the lift. I know he pees in the lift. I have no evidence, but I know. I was in it with him once, and he played with his flies. Itching to get it out, just like he normally does. When I first noticed the discrepancy in fly distribution , I decided to conduct a census. As you will imagine , this was not without its difficulties. I was not sure whether this sort of evidence is allowable in court. But whatever I can do to assist the course of justice, do it I will. I counted the flies once a day. Here are the results: My End: Murderer's End: Monday 5 7 Tuesday 4 10 Wednesday 3 5 or6 Thursday Rain: No flies Rain: No flies Friday 2 2 SatiJ(d,ay . 7 ... 6,~r 7 ifay· ~ oo many to count

_su

Conclusive proof, I think you'll find. Especially Tuesday. The police were not of the same opinion. I asked, at the very least, for them to apply for a search warrant. They called me a Nosy Neighbour Type. I did not take kindly to that. I threatened legal action, at which they laughed. Such disrespect for the law, even from its so-called guardians, is typical of the moral disrepair of the country. I stormed out of there with a cry of "Call yourself Policemen!" Receiving no support from the constabulary, I resolved to pursue the prosecution myself. I bought myself a balaclava and a pair of binoculars. The man in the shop asked what I wanted them for, meaning birdwatching. I told him we had nothing but pigeons to watch, from our flats, and all they do is f**k. "No," I said, "I am engaged on an undercover surveillance operation. Top secret stuff." He gave me the telephone number of some specialists. They rented out bugging equipment. They sent me some catalogues. They set me up with a kind of wireless-gizmo. After I'd have no luck with the surveillance, I tried them. After watching unmoving curtains for a week, I thought another approach was needed. They set me up. I don't know how they did it. I could hear everything. lt cost about £500 plus vat. All my suspicions ·were confirmed: he still talked to his mother. And he answered himself back in his mother's voice. lt was eerie. lt was like listening to Psycho. "Would you like a cup of tea mum?", he would ask. "Yes love, that would be lovely." Sick. The things that guilt does to the human mind. I went to the Police with the tapes. I was threatened with arrest. Cease and desist, that was their message. "But he's got her body hanging up in the fiiQ et. old_ you aqout tpe fQes. You can't let him get away with this. He did it to claim

her pension. Think of the taxpayer! Who pays you anyway?" I was arrested. Think of it. Me, after National Service. I practically got a medal. Never so much as a parking ticket. Except for the odd parking ticket. I was released when my sister paid bail. lt wasn't very much. · "He's never been the same since - • she said to the Policewoman. "Since what?" I asked. "Nothing love. Come along now." They insisted I return the snooping equipment. I was served with some kind of order to stay away from the man. Then, one evening, so horrible I can hardly bear to describe it, he came round and knocked on my door. "Mr Harris?", he said. "I don't think we've met. My name is Jones. I live in the flat over there. The police tell me you think I've killed my mother." I didn't react at all. He was as cunning as the devil. I tried to reach for one of my sticks in the umbrella stand. "I thought we might clear this up privately. So why don't you just come round for tea. My mother's always wanted to meet you. She thinks your window boxes are lovely." "Murderer!" I screamed. "This is a decent

house. Get out of it! Out! Now!" He backed away and I shut the door behind him. I phone the Police to ask them to come and protect me. "Not you again," they said. "Please," I said, "take me into protective custody." "Why?" they said. "He'll murder me just like he murdered his mother." "He's never murdered anybody, Mr Harris." "How do you know?" "We just do." "If you don't protect me, I shall have to protect myself." "Mr Harris -" I put the phone down, cutting her off. lt was the first and last time I have ever done such a thing. The door is now fully barricaded. I have stocked up on tea, cake and evaporated milk. The bills are being paid by direct debit. He may try to starve me out, but I won't let him. I put my balaclava on and focus my binoculars. He doesn't make a move that I don't see. The phone is here ready. I have my trusty old caterpult. lt's a terrible thing, these people are on the loose. I blame the government and drugs and the Police.

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Voted Number one bylconcretel(issue 44) Book the cellar bar for your party!

FREE DELfl'EHY TEL 615853 53 Earl ham Road, Norwich NR2 3AD. Open every evening -M on -Sat 5 -1 1pm, Sun 6 - 1Opm. Last orders 30 m ins before closing.Minimum order for delivery £6. UEA deliveries to Porters Lodge, Village Site or Union House reception only.

22 Concrete, Wednesday, May 17. 1995

Sport

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With relegation confirmed,Jane Hornertries to answer the question on everybody•s lips... LAST season, Norwich City were holding their own with Barcelona and Inter Milan. Next season, they will be facing the likes of Barnsley and Mlllwall. So what turned the Canaries from high-flyers Into lame ducks?

PHOTOS BY KEITH WHITMORE

Ever since chairman Robert Chase took charge of the club in 1986, the policy has been to make money, not spend it. Even with £6.5 million in the bank and relegation threatening, Chase did not feel it was necessary to bring in any new players. The roots ofCity'sdeclinecan be traced back to last season when Mike Walker resigned, allegedly the first casualty of Chase's refusal to pay Premiership-level wages. John Deehan stepped up to the managerial hot -seat, but his smoothtalking confidence was not enough to compensate for his inability to motivate his players.

What the fans think:

Ashley Riley (above):

"Robert Chase has taken the team apart by selling all the players."

Mark Warwick (above):

Sax on Mosely (right):

"Its like any business- if you se ll all your assets, you'll go bust."

"He thinks all you need to be a big club is a good stadium. He's forgotten this is a football club"

Kerry Smart (right): "Ri chard Branson should buy Chase's shares. He's got the money to do it. and he's already put so much into the city with the Virgin Direct deal."

"We've got to spend money or we won't get promoted next year."

Neil Hickman (above):

Jonathon Wilson (right):

"We don't expect £7 million signings. but there are good players going for£ I or£ 1.5 million. Why can't we ·ign some of them?"

"We need someone who will spend wisely and buy people who will play a-, a team. not as individuals."

Michael Beake (above): "We don't seem to have the people who are knowledgeable enough to go out and find good buys."

Friday 19 May 21.00 • 02.00 £6/ £5

MllK'fLUNCH

Upstairs

Uplifting House h tK & Pasha) +Tonic + NW1 OJ Roy The Roac ' u

Saturday 20 May 21.00 -,01E.~'R£3SO/ £3

Upstairs: MELlOOWN

Uplifting H~use C bes +Tlm Harrow +oavid OJ Tony de VI\+ Lee oom James +Mark Edmonds

Friday 2 June 21.oo •:~~~£s' £5 Milky Lunch present

Klll£

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Friday 26 May 21.00. 06.00 £10/£9

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Uplifting House . T . oeep + M1ss OJs Sister Bhss + 0 onna

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Milky Lunch present

In an interview earlier this year, Deehan told Concrete: "I was led to believe I cou ld have a couple of players, only to be told at the last minute they were no longer available". However, it is also common knowledge that Chase was not prepared to match the wages offered by these clubs. Whatever the case, even when Gary Megson took over after Deehan' s resignation, Norwich have looked unconfident at the back and uninspired up front. Now relegation has become a reality, Chase has finally stated that he will buy some new players. Yet only time will tell if this will take the Canaries back into the top flight. For now, the only consolation for City fans is that Ipswich have also been relegated, so at least they still have the East Anglian derbies to look forward to.

Dates of Disaster 1994: Jan - Mike Walker resigns Feb - Ruel Fox sold to New castle United July - Chris Sutton sold to Blackbum Rovers Oct- Efan Ekoku sold to Wimbledon Dec • Bryan Gunn breaks a leg

Jeremy Williams (right):

"Prior to Walker going, we had a good team. If it had been built on, not so ld off we could have been in Europe again by now."

tHE tHAtCHER

It can be argued that Norwich have had more than their fair share of bad luck, with the critical injury to Bryan Gunn, and several contentious refereeing decisions going against them - the penalty at Leeds last weekend being one example. However, it is undeniably the Canaries' lack of striking power which has proved to be their Achilles heel. In spite of the uproar from the fans at Chris Sutton •s departure, many now realise that £5 million was too large a sum to turn down. Yet the same cannot be said for the sale of Rue! Fox, Efan Ekoku, Mark Robins ... Whether these were Chase's or Deehan's decisions is still debatable, since both claim innocence. But whatever the case, with all their strikers now gone, it was clear to everyone else that replacements would need to be bought, or the team would begin to struggle.

MELtOOWN Upstairs

•

ALLSORlEDt Pure pop & no excuses ...

c\ubs

1995: Jan 11 • Knocked out of Coca Cola Cup by Bolton Wanderers Jan 16 • Mark Robins sold to Leicester City Feb 18 - Knocked out of FA Cup by Everton Apr 10 - John Deehan resigns Apr 17 - Norwich City enter relegation zone May6 - Norwich City relegated

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Concrete, Wednesday, May 17, 1995

Sf2ort

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SPORTS SHORTS

RACE walker lan Richards acheived a hat-trick of his own last weekend. At the BUSA athletics cham· pionships in Edinburgh he won the bronze medal in the3000m walk, and with it became the first Trojan to win a medal in each of his three years at UEA. Atthesameevent, track captain Keith Palmar finished 6th in the 400m, in a time of 49 sec· onds.

RUNSARAHOMEarethenew Grand Prix champions, after finishing first and second in the two events held this term. Theytoppedthebill withamighty 569 points, eight ahead of nearest rivals Moonlighters and 12 more than renamed reigning champions Jelly legs. In the two events this term, RSH ducked and dived to victory in the obstacle course race, two seconds quicker than Jellylegs, who were themselves a clear 14 seconds up on third place Ewe Schlag! They only managed second in the athletics, though, withJellylegs running, jumping and throwing their way to the front of the pack. However it wasn't enough to deny the postgrads and mature students of

Grand Prix winners Run Sara Home

UEA table-top team fumbles footie finals Table Football LUKE Hargreaves offered Trlstsn Roddls a swig of his isotonic lemon drink as the

luxury motorcoach whisked the UEA team direct from Norwich to the stadium. At last, the great day had arrived!

Ever since the lads had stormed the East Anglain football world by coming first in the Norwich heat of the Holsten challenge, they had been dreaming of this moment. True, they had had to spend gruelling hours training on the tables around Norfolk, coupled with a macrobiotic diet regime and strenuous wrist and forearm exercises, but it was all going to pay off! The first rounds went well- Luke had perfected his legendary "blitz-

PHOTO: KEITH WHITMORE

krieg" tactic (that had previously struck fear deep into the heart of many a Norwich youngster) and this, coupled with Tristan' s staunch defence, had led them to victory in the first three matches. But disaster struck in the quarterfinals. Two young upstarts managed to penetrate Tristan's "Majinot

Bouncing to bronze _ Trampolinlng AN INDIVIDUALBUSA bronze medal was the result of the hard work put In by the UEA Trampolining Club, writes Sarah 0/lver. Held in Nottingham, 31 universities were entered for eight different events- Mens and Ladies Grades I and 2, Team and Individual.

Each competitor performed two routines- a well rehearsed compulsory and a voluntary - in front of five judges and hundreds of people, so the nerves eventually started to get to them. Despite this, the ladies' team finished fifth out of the fifteen teams in their competition, and Rachel Paul, the team's star performer finished third individually in the Ladies Grade Two.

Since then, the club has not been resting on its laurels, instead earning over £100 for Comic Relief, courtesy of an hour and a halfs continuous somersaulting. Unfortunately, though, the club is in danger of folding due to the lack of a committee, so if anyone is interested in helping out they should get in contact with the present committee as soon as possible.

Wot no Sports OHicer? Sports News THE CASE for a sabbatical Sports Officer was last week strengthened by indications that the post involves too much work for a nonsabbatical posiUon, writes Jane Horner. When nominations closed on May 4, there were no candidates for the posts of Sports Officer, Internal or External Officer, all the positions on the sports committee. Present Sports Officer Alex Bainbridge said that he believed the reason for this was not apathy, but the fact that "the post takes up a Jot of time - time that students just don't have".

By Nik Davy

GrandPrix

EXAMS over? Nothing to do? Why not get six friends togetherandentertheannuaiUEA RugbySevenstoumament?Enjoythesun{l)andaperfectcombination of beer, barbecue and rugby. TheeventtakesplaceonJune 3rd and application forms are available from the GSAbar, with entry costing £7 per team. All standards and genders of players are welcome.

Current SO Alex Bainbridge He added that, due te the immense work-load, "potential candidates know they will have to sacrifice their degree if they are elected, and that's not what they came to university for".

Alex claims that the amount of non sports-related work may also have put people off - be has to attend several weekly meetings as a member of the Union executive. UEA has never before been without a Sports Officer, but even if nominations are reopened at the start of next year, important events such as 11\e inter-university conference, will have already been missed. As things stand, the only solution would be to increase the number of staff employed by the Union to deal with sporting affairs, although this would reduce student involvement, However, it appears that, unless the post of Sports Officer becomes sabbatical, no-one will be willing to take on such a time-consuming commitment.

Overall Results: 1 Run Sara Home 2 Moonlighters 3 Jellylegs 4 Yeah Woman 5 Dead Certs

569 561 557 521 500

line" defence, and it was all over, the boys losing by I0 goals to 5. Not wishing to di turb their body equilibria, the lads passed up the offer of four free pints of Holsten each. Instead, they shed tears of disappointment over a thermos of chilled carrot juice as they watched the

RSH, who confessed to having an average age "probably five ... er.. possibly higher than anyone else". Captain Gareth Rees (holding the trophy in the picture, left) had this to say: "We're pleased to have floundered and belly-flopped our way to the finishing line ahead of the chasing pack. Moonlighters were the worrying team this year - they pushed us all the way down to the wire." Run Sara Home are: Gareth Rees, Katherine Carlile, Co/in Wood, Andrew Jordan, Bob Blair, Tom Crowards, Sara Whittaker, Alison Bateman, Barbara Maher, Misni M is ran, Fiona Castle, Michael Guthrie, Brian Bandy

1st Year 1 Team: Bionic Bods (17th) 410 Wooden Spoon: Fifers XI (51st)

-10

winners of the tournament collect £2000 from the organisers. They may have been defeated this time, but there is always next year! • Anybody interested in taking part in a UEA table football league should sign up on the notices by the football tables in the bar, or contact Luke or Tristan directly via email.

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Call into the travel shop today for the best student and youth reductions, or telephone 01603 503103. We•re open Monday to Friday, from 9 to 5.15

~·

Firsts net third title A FOUR NIL thrashing ofTudenham Sedgewlcks gave UEA's football1 st XI an unprecedented third Division One title In the Gallpen Press League. By - - - - . With the loss of numerous key • • players from last year's title-winJam Smith ning side, captain Steve Taylor had to bring in several new faces, yet has Rossiter and Jim Lolvin. still been able to produce a strong All this was topped by the 50and skilful team. goalpartnershipofJimSmithand Following the loss through injury Nick Hoskyns, leaving a titleofBritish UniversitieskeeperGeorge winningsquad which will lose only Patten, stand-ins Simon Coilsfield four players and whose future and Scott Burnett played a very looks very rosy indeed. important role as UEA conceded Captain Taylor was quick to only 32 goals all season. comment: "We· ve achieved great Rob Crane, Andy Donnelley, thing this season, and seem to Steve Holmes, Steve Taylor and have a solid basis for our BUSA Andy lngham formed an organised campaign next year, although defence which was complemented we'll have to fmd adequate reby the speed ofwingers Jim Turner placements for the outstanding and Tony Scott, and the strength of third years who will be sorely midfielders Kev Robinson, Matt missed"

Above: Delighted first team captain Steve Taylor with the Division 1 trophy and (right) the second team on the way to promotion to Division 2

UP THE SECONDS!

THE RESERVE team finished as runners-up in their division to achieve promotion to the league's second flight. The division three team was guided by Daenson Scipio who commented that: "I'm very pleased with our nl"'"""""'""'thor lthinknextseasonwillbeevenmorefruitful!"

Rooms available for the Summer vacation at £20 per week! the students' landlord