Concrete issue 053 15 11 1995

Previews, reviews and exclusive interviews

Roe~

Horror creator slams ·axing of RAG•s showp_iece camp_us event

SHOWBIZ personality Richard O'Brlen has slammed the cancellation of RAG's Rocky Horror Show party, due to have taken place last Friday.

Union commercial bosses pulled " EXCLUSIVE BY Joanne Robertson the plug on the event after insisting that its inherent "drunkenness and Maze creator, who had even donated debauchery" would contravene both a pair of his shoes as the top raffle the public entertainment and liquor prize for the event, strongly defended licences for Union House. its reputation when contacted by But the Rocky Horror and Crystal

~

Concrete at the end of last week.

"If raising money for charity such as the Anthony Nolan Bone Marrow Trust is provocation to lust and debauchery then we live in very strange times indeed," he mused. " It seems to me that those who have reached this conclusion must be suffering from severe psychological damage and should seek help urgently."

The cancellation came despite the fact that the event would have been in its eighteenth year had it gone ahead.

It is viewed by many students as an institution at UEA. Last year, RAG raised over £2,000 for charity from the Rocky Horror Show - one third of its total fundraising effort for 1994.

"Many people make the grave error

of confusing morality with moralising; there is a severe distinction between the two", Richard added.

"All those who elect to take the moral highground should make quite sure that their own social structure is not built on shifting sands."

RAG are now hoping to hold the Rocky Horror Show in the city.

• Turn to page 4 for the full story.

: (01&011

2 Concrete, Wednesday, November 15, 1995

·+++CAMPUS RENT RISE .SHOCKER+++CAMPUS RENT RISE ·SHOCKER+++ . ... . .

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Bin it!• says I

campatgn

t

I

' BAG lTand Bin lt ', a new national campaign against the contents of sewage has captured the imagination of students, at least according to its organisers, writes Adrian Steel.

T he in itiative - backed by water and health companies - aims to persuade people not to flush personal items down the toil et.

These inc lude condoms, tampons, sanitary towels, cotton buds and razor blades, many of wh ich arc fou nd washed up on the nat ion's beaches.

Dr Norman Lowe, chief scientist at Welsh Watcr,explainedthatthese may not disappear, but persist for years.

Campaign organisers claim that college and un iversity students have been "swamping lecturers with essays and dissertations based on the 'bag it and bin it ' theme.

"The campaign even generated mili tan t tendencies amongst one student, who dashed around the campus slapping up 'bag it and bin it ' stickers in all the toilets."

Further evidence of student invo lvement co mes from Solihull college nursery-nurse students, who dressed up as toi lets and bi n bags for their end of term play.

GOTASTORY? PHONE US on 250558 or internally on 3466. Don't worry about the cost - we'll call you straight back

Rent strike meeting inquorate LA ST WEEK'S UGM was declared inquorate w it h an attendance of 278.

Thus, like the previous meeting, all votes were merely indicative.

Despite the decision to continue the meeting, inquorate as it was, many students left as discussion fi na lly moved to the actual agenda.

The fi rst motion was to mandate the Union to support the campaign to free Ken Saro-Wiwa, who was executed by the Nigerian government last week.

The motion was passed with noone electing to speak against it.

The next two motions, relating to the establishment of a new executive post to deal specifically with disability and to the need for the University to improve safety on campus, were al so overwhelmingly

THE UNION are to hold a week of action to highlight student hardship starting on November 20, writes Jess Kiang.

The week has been part-organised to coincide with Thursday week's National Demonstration against grant cuts called by the NUS. Highlights of Student Hardship Week include a rally on Wednesday to explain the objectives of the week and to promote attendance at the National Demo, followed by a a debate on student financial support in the Bill Wilson Room on Friday.

A soup kitchen will be also available daily in Union House.

Union Welfare Officer Esther Jilletthopes "to bring the maximum pressure possible" to the national demo, citing the fact that seven coaches went from U EA last year.

Esther also sent letters inviting various Registry officials to live on a student income for this week, but as yet has received no replies.

Academ ic Officer . A dam Bowden, stressed that students should also be made aware of other forms of poverty such as academic hardship.

passed.

Welfare Offi cer Esther Jillett then gave an update on the rent strike, saying that the University had refused all the Union's demands but had offered to set up a 'hardship fund ' if the strike was unconditionally terminated.

She stressed that this fund would be highly inadequate for students ' needs, especially with rents at their current rates, and there was a unanimous decision to reject the deal.

• Another UGM has been called for next Monday at 7pm in the LCR. Union offi cers are hoping for a quorate turnout, and a decisive vote on the rent strike issue.

Flashback to last year's NUS demo in London

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GRADUATION FOR THE CLASS OF •96 NEXT SUMMER'S graduation will be held on campus, after Registry bosses have ruled out a ceremony in the city, writes Katie Lane.

Other UK un iversities have chosen far more glamourous locations for their graduations: the University of Kent at Canterbury hold their ceremony in Canterbury Cathedral, and London 's Imperial College use the Albert Hall.

Some UEA students have suggested si mil ar locations for their own graduation.

Steve (EU R 3) said, "What' s wrong with St Andrews Hall or the Cathedral?

"The Sports Centre is hardly lavish is it? It doesn't seem like th e right setting for suc h a special occasion."

Charlotte (EU R 3) agreed .

"Graduation is supposed to be a long-lasting memory of your time at univers ity - the end of an era. "!like the idea of keeping graduation on campus baut the sports hall doesn' t seem fi tting for such an important event."

Tony Flack, UEA ' s Assistant Regi strar, explained that the limited size of certain possible venues in the city centre coupled with parking and congestion considerat ions

effectively ruled out an off-site congragation.

"T he option of the Cathedral has been looked into, but it is not really any bigger than the sports hall and the seati ng arrangements in the Cathedral mean that some will have to sit behi nd pillars", he said.

"The Cathedral may be intrinsically better but at least everyone would be able to see the ceremony in the Sports Centre."

But positive comments from last year's graduates have prompted UEA offi cials to use a marquee in front of Nelson Court for receptions again in favour of the LCR. "We' ve been worki ng on improvi ng the graduation ceremony every year," added Mr Flack, but concerning a change in venue for the grad uation ceremony he stated, " Why fi x something when it's not broken?"

Concrete, Wednesday, November 15, 1995

3

Get ataste

of Fair Trade

Accommodation bosses act after yet another break-in ACCOMMODATION bosses have moved to review security facilities following yet another break-In at Mary Chapman Court -the fourth Incident of Its kind In two years. r----By---.

DirectorofResidences, Jenny Grant, has promised to examine Alison Wisely options aimed at making the City site - which houses around 60 in the middle of the room.

UEA students - more secure.

It is thought that the would"I have requested additional be thieves were probably dissecurity and am now in the proc- turbed by the residents fleeing ess of discussion with the super- the flat. intendentofsecuritytothatend", "We want the university to she said. do something now", said Sam The latest incident happened Jones, a victim of the break-in. in the early hours of November "Are they going to wait until 5 in an all-female flat. . someone gets hurt?"

Residents heardnoisesatabout Mary Chapman licencees are 4.30am and, too frightened to now drawing up a petition callinvestigate, ran to the flat up- ing for enhanced security measstairs. ures which includes the followWhen they returned they ing suggestions: found posters ripped from the •the storage ofbelongings over walls, ornaments strewn across Christmas on campus, the floor, the balcony door wide •a patrolling security guard, open and a television unplugged ebotts and chains on bo/cony

COPIESOFTheBiglssuecannowbepurchased from two campus vendors.

Macka (pictured above) and Tazwill be on The Street on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays between 12pm and 5.10 pm.

write$ Joanne Robertson.

SYS third year Jeffrey Hawkes was also banned from driving for five years after he admitted causing death by dangerous driving after a head-on crash in Norfolk.

The accident happened after Jeffrey had been out celebrating his

Said Jenny Grant, "I have taken veryseriouslywhathashappened; I saw the students affected last week." ''On the whole, MaryChapman Court does have a good safety record, but I accept that when something like this happens, it is traumatic."

"We are looking at providing some sort of presence over there and would welcome any comments from students", she added.

•LastJanuary,Concretereported that 22 rooms at Mary Chapman Court were ransacked over the Christmas holidays.

Other incidents have included damage to student cars in the residences' underground car park, a resident being flashed at and windows being shot at by an unknown sniper.

Scientists at Cambridge Uni have discovered an aphrodisiac which makes moulds more sexually active. Mustbefungistobe with....

"I'm quite happy with how ifs going on campus", said Macka, •Alotofpeoplearegetling The Big Issue up here. • He added that a neweditionofthe popular magazine is available each Monday, and urged people to buy it on a weekly basis.

UEA STUDENT JAILED A UEA student began a three and a half year jail sentence last week,

doors and, •the introduction ofon-site resident tutors.

AJESEC, Third World First and the NUS will be holding tastings for the Fair Trade campaign in the Union Supermarket on November 15,21 and 27, writes John Spacey.

Products to be sampled include Clipper Tea, Cafe Direct and Maya Gold chocolate, all currently available on campus.

FairTrade goods have been introduced to ensure that producers of third-world produce get a fair price for it, and to help them get better living standards and working conditions.

Said AJESEC member Imtiaz Kaderbhoy, "The aim of AIESEC and fair trade is to alleviate poverty in the third world by encouraging industry and consumers to support fair trade.

"Fair trade helps farmers in third world countries by guaranteeing them a minimum price, credit terms and log term trading commitments.

"Current European policy shows that a European cow receives twice as much subsidy as the average income of a third world farmer."

end-of-year exams in June 1994.

He borrowed his father's car but fell asleep at the wheel, colliding with the car of mother-of-two Patricia Johnson from Dereham, who died instantly.

Jeffrey hid the car from the police and returned to Kent where his parents attempted to cover up the incident, by telling police their car

had been stolen during a shopping trip.

His father was consequently imprisoned for nine months for conspiracy to pervert the course of justice.

His mother received a three month sentence.

Said Jeffrey last week, "The anguish and overwhelming sense of guilt arising from my actions is something which I do not believe I will everlose."

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4 Concrete, Wednesday, November 15, 1995

D ITI

Union bosses blame •drunken

debaucher[ for cancellation of last weelfs Roc!_cy Horror Show 'TOO MUCH alcohol and too few clothes' ... that's the reason why Union bosses asked RAG to cancel the Rocky Horror Show party, due to have taken place last week.

They pointed out that the event would allegedly contravene both the Union's public entertainment and liquor licences with its traditional emphasis on "drunken debauchery".

At a meeting with Union Finance O ffi cer John Ho lmes and Commercial Services Manager David Hooper two weeks ago, RAG members were read out various licence regulations that apply to the LCR, and were then urged to cancel the popular event which last year raised £2,085 for charitable causes.

Said RAG President Kylie Mather, "We had no choice but to cancel, as having no alcohol available would alter the nature of the event too much. " It's a little unfortunate, but we' ll

I

Joanne

~~bertson

I

have to try other ways of raising money."

One charity to suffer from the cancellation is the Anthony Nolan bone Marrow Trust, whose university co-ordinator, Saski Huggins, said, "We are very disappointed to hear about the cancellation.

"UEA RAG works hard to support us and it is a pity that such a lot of effort is to go to waste at such short notice."

Norwich Door to Door, a smaller charity for the disabled, will now also receive a smaller donation.

John Holmes moved to allay any

suggestions of an agenda against RAG, stating: "The decision is not against RAG, but against an event that RAG run."

"It is an event with too many inherent problems, and is certainly worse than the weekly LCR disco", he added.

He pointed out that the blame for cancelling at such short notice lay in both courts. " RAG didn 't confirm and didn ' t consult with us.

"They will be compensated for anything that they have spent (on publicity], but I think that RAG should be looking at doing a lot more than the Rocky Horror Show."

RAG are now left with the problem of generating cash in the absence of the Rocky Horror Show party, which last year made one third of their fundrai sing income -

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Rocky Shocker: no more scenes like this, say Union bosses especially after a "similar" event due to have taken place last Friday was also cancelled.

"The Beerfest and the Rocky Horror Show are our two largest fundra isers," said Kylie.

"The Union have said that they wi ll reimburse us, in theory, for any money we lose because of not holding it.

"We are thinking of having the Rocky Horror Show after Christmas, and move it off campus to a venue such as the Arts Centre, but we won't make as much money."

RAG members have now started a petition to keep the Rocky Horror Show alive. " It is an institution at UEA," said RAG member Rebecca White.

"We' d sorted everything out", she added.

"We 'd booked the LCR, we 'd booked the film, we were ready for Rocky and to go back on ourselves is very embarrassing."

Matthew Doyle, Union Clubs and Society Officer, was also present at the meeting between RAG and the Union.

"It is a disappointment that an event which raised over £2,000 for charities last year has had to be cancelled", he saicl. " I hope the Union can give the RAG the support in arranging another event so that the charities do not lose out."

He added: "I respect the management's concerns over safety, but it is unfortunate that a compromise couldn' t have been reached so that the Rocky Horror Show party could have gone ahead in some kind of modified form."

A , flsfcard lrw"' , arts Mark Austin reports from France ...

I

f it is true what they say that you can never really fall in love with a person or place until you know them or it well, then perhaps I am reaching the stage where I can declare with some authority that I have fallen in love with Paris.

A warm sense of self-satisfaction washes over me when an area of Paris is mentioned, or agreed upon as a rendezvous, and I no longer have to consult my map to discern where it is.

I am even beginning to feel qualified to give directions around central Paris if set upon by an unsuspecting tourist.

You will note the ease with which I no longer feel I have to refer to myself as a touri st.

Yet while not a thoroughbred Parisian, perhaps I could now fit into that dubious category of being an 'ex pat' , albeit a temporary

one.

I am beginning to discover little areas and patches of Paris that are favourites of mine, and which, in that fashion that only occurs when you feel comfortable in a place, I find myself feeling protective of.

On the banks of the Seine opposite Notre Dame, stands a quaint little English bookshop called 'Shakespeare and Co'.

Wel known among the literati, books spill from its walls with little seeming order or arrangement.

Many even have no prices in.

The lack of concern over fiscal gain is refreshing, and encourages the thought that the shop exists not to make money but to encourage a love of books and reading.

Th is impression is en hanced by the first floor, where sofas and chairs are scattered around under the reverential

gaze of the hundreds of dusty tomes that line the walls from floor to ceiling.

Sitting reading amongst these rows of worn and treasured books makes you feel part of a truly romantic view of how Paris was and still should be.

Bau delaire, Voltaire, Flaubert and Sartre swirl around you and come to life once more as you lose yourself in the reverie that this city and its influence so easily inspire.

No bomb scares or mobile pooper scoopers invade this idyll, leaving you free to stroll by the Seine on a misty autumn evening and conduct philosophical discussions in badly lit cafes .

But then although there is no denying that I have fallen in love with Paris, perhaps this just goes to prove that I , am a romantic at heart.

ABientot...

Concrete, W~nesday, November 15, 1995

5

LOTTERY BID FOR Ll RA Y FU Record DING Norfolk OHice could be housed at UEA

under new

P~P-osals

LIBRARY chiefs have unveiled a £10m scheme to bring the Norfolk Record Office to UEA, and they will seek National By - - -..

Lottery cash to help fund it.

Two Bristol students have had their sex life disrupted because lions from a nearby zoo are keepingthemawakewith their own nightly 'activities'.

Virtual War hits the Real World Although it is the fashion to dismiss net antics as little more than amusing footnotes to reality, there is at least one group who is taking intemet-based criticism very seriously indeed. This is the Church of Scientology, a religious cult founded in the 1950s by the American sciencefiction writer, L.Ron Hubbard.

They are currently involved in legal battles with their critics that have involved police raids on computer operators in Europe and the US. Meanwhile, a global cat-and-mouse game is being played with disputed documents on the net. lt all started back in 1991, when a student from Indiana, created the usenet newsgroup alt.religion.scientology, as a forum to expose Scientology.

Along with criticising the Church (reffered to as Co$ by its detractors), exScientologists used anonymous remailers (computers that strip the name and address information from email messages) to post texts which the CoS maintains are "copyrighted trade secrets".

Unsurprislngly, this didn't go down too well with members of the Church, and the shit really began to hit the fan in December last year when they started using computer commands to cat:~cel messages written by their critics.

This was followed by instructions from CoS lawyers ordering all system administrators to remove the group, as the its very name infringed the Church's trademark, plus threats of legal action to the operators

of various anonymous remailers.

Complaints about this heavyhanded behaviour were voiced around the net.

So far, so what? A bit of netbased whingeing. Nothing too drastic. Until February this year, when the CoS managed to get a restraining order served on one Dennis Erlich from California. CoS lawyers and police raid his house and copy and delete files from his computer. They also sue the computer bulletin board he was posting from, and its intemet service provider.

Later that month, they manage to persuade Interpol and Finnish police to force the operator of an anonymous remailer to reveal the name of one of the users of his service.

August saw another raid in the US, with computer equipment being confiscated. Then on September 5th, an attempt was made to seize the computers from Dutch intemet service provider, XS4ALL. All the fuss is over a document known as the Fishman Affidavit.

This is the testimony of Stephen Fishman, who was brought to trial in the US for crimes that he allegedly commlted to fund his Scientology courses.

As part of his defense, he submitted some CoS texts to the court to show how he has been brainwashed by the cult.

Copies of this publicly-available testimony have leaked out onto the

net, and are being made available on computers around the world. The document itself is pure twaddle. Apart from detailing the steps to be taken against critics (legal harassment of journalists, etc.), it appears to reveal Hubbard's beliefs about events that occurred 75 million years ago, involving an interstellar tyrant named Xenu, H-bombs and volcanos. You can see why the CoS don'twant this made public.

And so the war continues. On one side, the Church, with their vast amounts of money and overzealous legal staff. The opposition live on the Internet, and use this flexible medium to provide their side of the story. At the very least, the conflict will see legal precedents set for such issues as copyright, fair use and the responsibility of service providers for other people's opinions.

At most, this could see the end of Scientology as it gets literally laughed out of court. By taking on users of the intemet, the CoS may not only have bitten off more than it can chew, but it might well choke on it as well.

Hype's Website will be providing an extended version of this article, a copy ofthe Fish man Affidavit (until legal proceedings dictate otherwise), links to the controversial newsgroup and other information about CoS activities.

To reach it, click on Netscape or Mosaic on one of the university computers, then go: UEA Welcome 7 UEA Information 7 Students 7 Campus TV, Radio and Publications 7 Hype.

Alternatively, Email us at su.hype@uea.ac.uk or via internal mail c/o Concrete .

A student from Stirling Uni is hoping that Timmy, his pet budgie, will bring him fame and fortune.

Timmyis the world's only boozing budgie.

If the bid is successful, a new extension to the Library will house the Records Office and library material, as well as top-notch facilities for Film Studies and the Centre of East Anglian Studies (CEAS).

The old Record Office in Bethel Street was burnt down in August 1994 with Norwich Library.

UEA Project Co-ordinator, Dr David Baker, said he was confident that the plans would be given the goahead by the Lottery Heritage Board.

"It is a unique project and no-one else is attempting anything else like it", he explained.

"There will be far more space in the Library and there would be onsite access to one ofthe best Record Offices in the country."

State-of-the-art computer links could make material more widely available to users elsewbere.

County Council bosses are also

•

Adnan Steel backing the Lottery bid, and Labour group leader Celia Carneron said that Norfolk already had one of the nation's leading archives.

"We are very attracted to this proposal which might offer the best solution both for their long term storage and for enabling them to be widely used", she said.

"This project is worth a thorough investigation." .

But some objections have been raised as to the suitability of an oncampus location for the record office.

Said Sheila Kefford of the Norwich Society, "We believe it could be situated in a very prestigious location on the proposed Technopolis site [on Bethel Street], and it would be a great shame if it went to UEA."

Graduate

Students Association THANKYOUI The Association would like to thank all postgraduates who attended the AGM on Thursday 2 November and made it quorate. The new elected members of the Committee are: · President: Nicholas (Hamish) McKenzie ENV Vice-president: Theonie Georgiou 810 Bar Manager: Stephanie Hogg CHE Treasurer: Steve 8rammer SOC Secretary: Carolina Evans EUR Publicity: Position open Anyone interested in becoming Publicity Officer is extremely welcome to apply, in writing, nominated and seconded by ordinary members, to the Secretary, GSA, UH -Internal Mail.

BOARD OF GRADUATE STUDIES The following people were elected last Thursday: Arts: Fiona Ponikwer EUR; Sciences: Karin Groberg 810; Humanities: Malcolm Malone DEV; Vocations: Simon Mann SWK.

REPORT ON THE AGM Minutes of the AGM will be posted in our new poster cabinets for all to see. Anyone wishing to see a copy, should apply to the Secretary, as above. The result of the main motion was an almost unanimous decision NOT to continue negotiations towards a unification between the GSA and the UEA Union of Students. 106 members were present, save for one abstention, all votes were "againsr the motion. 35 proxy votes "againsr only confirmed this decision.

1994/95 COMMITTEE The new Committee would like to thank the outgoing Committee, Geoff Williams, lndira 8edi, Andrew (Gripper) Chapman, Patrick Vincent, Tim 8ergfelder and Anthony Dohr for their dedication and hard work over the last academic year(s).

P.S. Our address i~http :/JwW.uea .ac. uk/menu/grad_studentslwelcome. htmi . E-Mai/: wv.wgsa@uea .ac. uk

6 Concrete, Wednesday, November 15, 1995

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appliance i !danger Call for imp_roved dance music facilities at LCR disco !warning

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! THE HEALTH and Safety Ex-

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backed by over J00 OVER ONE hundred students have lent their support to calls for a change in music styles at the weekly LCR disco.

SOC third-year, Yron Leek, colr--- - B y - - - - . lected Ill signatures in The Hive last week supporting her initiative Alison Meakins to have the music rooms switched at "The events over the past three the event, which attracts around or four Saturdays in the LCR like I ,500 people.

Ministry of Sound [at 'Section 77'] She asked respondents whether they would be receptive to having at all go further to add balance to the least one LCR a month featuring argument that more and more peohouse and garage in the main room . ple are moving towards dance muIn addition, she canvassed opin- sic."

Said another, "I think that the ion on having dance m1 ,sic played in the LCR itself after a certain time. music rooms should be alternated " I was surpri sed at the amount of weekly or at least given a chance." students who expressed a preferBut there are some who would ence fo r the music currently played oppose such a switch, whether made in The Hi ve during my snap sur- on a monthl y basis or not. vey", she said.

"They should use the Hi ve to " I expec ted to confront a lot cater for the extremes of musical more 'LCR lovers.'" taste", said Trix (ENV2).

Yet her own views on the increas" I think the pre ent LCR is a ing popularity of dance music were pretty classic format."

When presented with Yron's findechoed by many people she approached. ings, Union Finance Officer John "The Union caters very badly for Holmes defended the music policy the forward -looking dance music at the LCR. crowd who come every Thursday", " Ents know what' s best about said one. what' s good or not", he said.

PHOTO: STEVE HOWARD

He agreed however that the results, which he described as being "evolutionary" seeing as The Hive hasonlybeenused atLCRdiscos for two years, were enough for him to bri ng up the matter at the next

weekly Bars and Ents meeting.

"The issue is now on the agenda", he added.

Yron hopes that anyone who shares her opinions will lend their support and write to either Union

Ents or Concrete.

"I hope that my efforts do not go unnoticed and that something will be done", she said.

•See 'letters to the editor'. Turn to page 9.

J

Euro MPs visit UEA OSTUDENTS packed into a talk given by Glenys Kinnock MEP in the Bill Wilson Room last Friday.

DSpeaking about 'Poverty in the Global Village', Mrs Kinnock (togetherwith Norfolk MEP Clive Needle), endorsed UEA's Society for Environmental Action campaign on behalf of the late Ken Saro-Wiwa .

DShe spokeof"the importance of the arguments we make about the morality of proper relationships and partnerships ,~ithJh~~~~e!O."ifiQ wpr)ct.': • , ,

I

GRADUATES interested in experiencing a sli ce of Japanese life and culture are being invited to join the JET set, writes Gemma Stansfield.

The Japan Exchange and Teaching (JET) scheme is an official yearlong Japanese government sponsored programme which aims to improve foreign-language tuition in Japan and promote international exchange.

Applicants have a choice of how to spend their year from one of two positions, working either as a coordinator fo r lntt>rnational Relations (C IR) -assisting with a wide variety of international events in government offices - or as an Assistant Language Teacher (ALT) in j unior or senior high schools.

Participants receive a £22,000

per annum package, which includes a return air fare to Japan and comprehensive medical insurance.

Applicants must hold a Bachelors degree or obtain one by July 28 1996, have excellent written and spoken English communication skills and ideally be under 35 years old.

They must also be aUK-passport holder (other nationalities should contact the Japanese Embassy in their country) and have an interest in Japan.

•Interested applicants fo r the I 996 departure should contact the JET Programme Desk (Dept. R, Counci I on International Educational Exchange), 33 Seymour Place, London, W 1H 6A T. Applications close on December 8.

~000 A Reading student who rang police when she was unable to start her car was told to put a potato in her exhaust.

The car blew up .. ..

Cambridge Uni has appointed its first professor of Equine Reproduction in an attempt to produce champion racehorses.

Neigh-s work if you can get it....

oxide poisoning, writes Lauren Cohen. " Your life could depend on it, you can't see it, you can't taste it. You can't even smell it", warns a newly produced leaflet which refers to the deaths of Trevor and Alan Leighton, who died of carbon monoxide poisoning from a faulty gas boiler.

The HSE is highlighting the dangers ofcarbon monoxide poisoning to students and other tenants through the leaflet which gives advice on how to make rented accommodation as safe as possible.

"Carbon monoxide poisoning does not discriminate on age grounds.Anyoneisatriskifan appliance is faulty or if a flue is blocked", said Health and Safety Commission Commissioner AnnScully.

She added that those at risk may not realise it, and urged people concerned to contact the HSE Gas Safety Action Line for advice.

•Gas Appliances - Get them checked, Keep them safe is available from HSC books, PO Box 1999, Sudbury, Suffolk.

The HSE Gas Safety Action Line can be contacted on 0800 300 363 .

Lib Dems wantbeHer housing UEA'S Lib Dem group have launched a campus initiative for improved housing provisions as part of a national campaign being run by the party's youth wing, writes Scott Tompsett.

Lib Dem .members will be available from 12pm to 2pm in Union House every Friday to pass on information and collect signatures for a petition.

Outlining their manifesto ideas on the subject, the Lib Dems emphasise several necessities, including the need for housing benefits for all over I 6s, access to loans for housing, use of empty public property and the building of new properties as well as the extension of the vote to those with no fixed

address.

In addition to the stall in Union House, several meetings in the near future will be held to

Concrete, Wednesday, November 15, 1995

BROADCAST student media Llvewlre 945 and Nexus TV have secured ÂŁ7,500 each In funding from the Union.

Thenewscameaftertheywere invited to submit proposals for the current academic year to the Union's Management Committee.

Simon Cox, Livewire station manager, explained that the money was to be used to reequip one of their two studios. ''Now that we have the number one campus radio station, student newspaper and student magazine in the country, I hope the Union is to show a more positive and supportive attitude towards student media", he said."! feel that the energy in student media at UEA should be capitalised on in every way by the Union and the rest of the

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Mllo Taylor Nexus president, Craig Eason, shared similar sentiments and was grateful that the Union had recognised the efforts of the Nexus team. He added that Nexus is strong enough to be of great benefit to the Union, as well as to students who want to get involved in its activities.

Union Finance Officer, John Holmes, said the Union was keen to market UEA as a student media centre. He noted that there was now an "adequate level of equipment" in both Nexus and Livewire, and promised continued support in the future .

..... ......

LMWJOO

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I:R@)@)llAl soul I swing I dance I party I indie I alternative I hip hop lj]]](]

7

8 Concrete, Wednesday, November 15, 1995

.f

comment About time too ...

Student safety at Mary Chapman Court is once again on the agenda, following yet another break-in.

As reported, this is the fourth incident of its kind in the last two years: cars vandalised, residents flashed at, windows being shot at, twenty two rooms ransacked last New Year's Eve and so on ...

It seems that little has been done since January when both University and Union officials suggested that the city residences should be given up and its licencees housed elsewhere.

Mary Chapman Court still houses UEA students, all of which are still vulnerable to its continuing problems.

Some residents have complained to Accommodation chiefs and have asked for improved security provisions including a constant security presence, the storage of valuables ofT-site during vacations and the provision of an on-site Resident Tutor.

To her credit, UEA's Director of Residences, Jenny Grant, has promised to look into such possibilities, but it's imperative that something is done after this latest incident.

It's about time the powers that be actually 'do different' and move to prioritise student safety at Mary Chapman Court. Let's have actions not words for a change!

Roct<Y road to ruin?

Let's face it, the popular image of students is still bound up with such adjectives as "wacky" -even in the caring, sharing, considerate Nineties.

And despite student life not being so easy to support financially as it used to be, surely there's no reason why the above concept should disappear.

Many students make a habit of regularly enjoying themselves, prioritising this concern over certain other activities, such as writing essays and revising for course tests.

They've also been known to dress up in silly clothes to raise money for charity, organise pub crawls, balls and such other delights.

Some even like dressing up- both male or female- in women's underwear and watching a certain cult film- all in the name of charity.

But not for any longer at UEA, so it seems, with the Union's axing of the annual Rocky Horror Show party. · Although it's been insisted that the event's inherent propensity for "drunkenness and debauchery" wou ld contravene both liquor and entertainments licences, it's more a case of where there's a political wi ll, there's a way, because the people who make the dec isions didn't like the event.

And they're not accountable to students either, so the moral of the story is, you can have whatever you want as long as it corresponds to "tried and tested" formulas, such as the LCR disco, Live in The Hive and Bjom Again Again Again.

So if you want to watch the Rocky Horror Show, wear women's underwear and drink loads of beer, you'll have to do it at home.

Wacky students take note: it seems you're a th reatened

Deadlines ...

Dead on your feet ...

WHEN EN-SUITE IS NOT TOO SWEET A copy of a letter sent to UEA's Director of Resi dences, Jenny Grant, and MrCMorland, DirectorofFinance: We appreciate the convenience of having on-campus accommodation.

Particularly for foreign students, university housing provides a practical solution.

We understand the difficulties the University encounters in housing so many home and overseas students; nevertheless, we are disappointed with the conditions at Constable Terrace.

Some students were assigned ensuite accommodation in Constable Terrace, although they asked for standard accommodation.

Those ofus who did request single en-suite accommodation understood this to mean private bathroom for each study-bedroom.

However, in our case we must

concrerre UEA'S Independent Sftldent' Neww pape• INCORPORATING

the

event PO Box 410, Norwich NR4 7TB

Dead worried.

Tel: (01603) 250558

Fax: (01603) 458553

con fidcntia I Ii stcn i ng and advice scrv icc

E-ma/1:

s lmon@stuserver.st u. uea .ac. uk

•

share one bathroom between two bedrooms, in some cases three bedrooms.

These are not "single en-suite" facilities.

The accommodation guide states that "the rooms are primarily in groups of6, 8 and 11. Each group of rooms shares a kitchen/ common room."

It goes on to state that there are also "a number of paired rooms with shared en-suite facilities and a small kitchen ."

We were all assigned these paired rooms although most of us did not request them.

The kitchens are small and impractical, and in addition, no space is available for eating.

Extractor fans in the kitchen do not function, and the poor venti lation in the building ensures that cooking smells pervade the rooms.

The accommodation fees at Con-

stable Terrace are already extremely high, and what we receive for the amount varies in each case.

We all pay the same weekly rate although the rooms differ in size.

Some people have wardrobes in their rooms as well as in the hall while others only have one in the hall.

Those with wardrobes outside their rooms cannot take out insurance for their belongings.

Those of us who are foreign students had to agree to pay an extra £24 before we could get our room keys.

The University instructed us to come a few days early to participate in an orientation programme, but no mention was made of the £24until we arrived at the Accommodation Office.

One student in particular is being forced to pay for the whole semes-

ter ( 19 weeks) although she clearly stated before coming that she would only be staying at UEA for ll weeks.

Again she was informed ofthe fee situation only after arriving at the Accommodation Office.

At such short notice it is impossible to make alternative arrangements; we have had no choice but to accept these conditions.

Due to the reasons already stated, not to mention the false fire alarms and the fact that on 4 October there was no water for several hours, we find £50.30 per week unwarrantably high for our rooms at Constable Terrace.

Therefore we urge the University to reduce our current accommodation fees. If the rents are not reduced, many ofus will be forced to move ofT campus.

Richard Klein (ENV PG) et al

• Editor: Niall Hampton•Deputy Editor: Michele du RandteAssistant Editor: Nik DavyeSporl Editor: Jane Horn er•Music Editor: Sa m Richards•Assistant Music Editor: Mark Tobin•Screen Editor: Matthew Doyle •Assistant Screen Editor: Liz MillseSpecia/ Projects Editor: Carolina AdlemeCo-Ustings Editors: James Curtis and Helen Lovett•Contributing Editors: Mark Austin, Peter Hart, Carolina Jenkinson•ChiefReporler.

Joanne RobertsoneStaffReporters: Joanna Emsley, Katie Lane, Adrian Steei•Editorial Contributors:AJison Wisely, Julia Bennett, Milo Taylor, Hannah Malcolm, Alison Meakins,JohnSpacey, Scott Tompsett, Lauren Cohen, Gemma Stansfield, Harriet Mills, Jess Kiang, Vanessa Smith, Caireen Kennedy, Karen Jenkinson, Charles Gates, Matt Stocks, lain Hollands, Jane Lee, Stuart Dredge, Simon Raisey, Tom Howard, Becky Williams,Alex Shepherd, James Lushey,Jo Morris, Nichola Daley, David Jenkins, Martin Plant, James Philips, LucBaptiste,AdamAiken, Sarah Mullis, Sonia Paternoster, Ian Nundy, lain Bennett,AndyTyler, Joanna Gill, MattFasken, Louise Duffy, PollyBinyon, Christian Schou, KatherineCrockett, Miranda LuckettePhotographers: Matt Stocks, Emily Wilson, Jeremy HilleAdvertising Manager: Si mon ManneProduction Manager: Stephen Howard •Proofreaders: Kay Spragg, Jane Kirby eSpecial Thanks to: UH Stewards, Bonusprint, Les Jenkinson, Apex, Universal Post, John 'Party Organiser' Holmes, everyone at ECNeOTP Assistants: Niall Hampton, Michele du Randt,N ik Davy, Jane Homer, Sa m RichardseConcrete is published by the Union of UEA Students. Opinions expressed are that of the Contributor and not necessarily those of the Publisher or Editor. Use of the name 'The Event' appears by arrangement with the copyright holders, Planet log Ltd .

•No part of this newspaper may be reproduced , transmitted by any means electronic, bionic, isotonic featuring John Bames in dodgy TV ad, gin and tonic or otherwise withoutthe prior written consent ofthe publisher •Printed by Eastern Counties Newspapers, Norwich , Norfolk NR11RE. © UUEAS, 1995.

LCR DISCO DELIGHT?

iven the increased fol towing in dance music, from Pure Sheng in 1993, the ongoing success of Milky Lunch, and now with the recent addition of Section 77, we feel that Union Ents should respond to this popular demand.

We understand that Ents feel that the LCR disco is an institution that has been 'tried and tested', and is a formula that works.

But as The Hive has only been open since Sept 1993 as an addi-

G

tional dance/ social area for the event, we feel that an audience preference survey was long overdue, and that in the light of this, changes could be made to improve the current format.

In view of this, we decided to conduct some research among the students on campus to glean an idea of audience preference for Thursday nights in the Hive.

For half an hour on Wednesday and Thursday lunchtime, we canvassed the Hive, asking students

I

Our grants would not be reduced if our Union was strong.

All our Union concerns itself w1th is cheap beer and club nights (how come students can't afford clean clothes & baths - feeling guilty yet?).

The smell of student poverty 路 not a good one, but neither is the sntell of student hypocrisy.

We'vebeensolddownthenver.

Anyone want their money hack?

recently arrived at UEA from Brighton University, assuming that impotent student university representation was a South Coast problem.

Wrong! Exactly what has the Union achieved with the thoudS of pounds that it's given?

I have no idea, and I'm sup. posed to benefit?

Student grants cut! Ifwe were ratl-workers there wouldn't be a single train!

Cl'llig Robbwt11 EUR PG

to sign a survey if they preferred certain time during the evening.

Failing this, perhaps more efthe music in the Hive on LCR night, and spent the majority - if fort could be made to jazz up the not all - of their time there.

Hive area on Thursday nights, such Through this snap survey, we as improved decor and gettng a gained 111 signatures during just reliable, decent, sound system. one hour, suggesting that figures Lastly,ithasbeenwidelyvoiced would increase proportionately thatfortheincreasedpriceof拢2.50, should a larger survey be conducted the Hive should remain open as Suggestions for changes included late as the LCR, instead of ending a possible room swap once a month twenty minutes earlier. for a designated trial period, or Vron uel (SOC 3) perhaps the giving over ofthe LCR Tarlq Ozaibi (DEV 3) room itself to dance music after a 111 signatllres supplied

a paid advertisement by your student

• Student Income is less than income support and housing benefit.

• The average student debt on graduation has jumped sharply in the last few years.

• Many students now work for more hours than they spend on their course each week.

• Income is down while costs are up- rents, books, and clothing all cost more each year, while student .... ,.......... been slashed.

• Debt means dropouts. Hundreds of nPc•n•-=~" a~~:~ncu. at uni or are dropping out of their a tragic waste of opportunity.

• The Student Loans Corn less of their income, wh· At the same time, di•"''"''~"""••:.. n,. tain each other in

DEMONSTRATE!!!!!

23rd November.

Why come? The NUS demo is a perfect opportunity to rant and rave about poverty and to make our voices heard. Demonstrations an ac " · v r forms; look at the poll tax demonstrations and those bout the

BNP hea

arters (which have now been closed). In

ranee in 1994, 1 million

ople marched in defen ce of educa-

• Worse is to .......

Loans Comp future Labour 2:0\rerrlm4~DLJN level- UN r ...... . ...,"" .....,.. ..,,

n"""'""'.... '-' nner and placard

---~, ing (22n d

••••••••

th-24th Novem

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is a debate that

Union outlets. Displays in We have written to selecte up the challenge!

week- find out if they take

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NominC.tion forms available in School Offices, the Information OHice in Union House, or from Adam.

They must be returned to the Information Office by 16.30 on 24th November.

Any late nominations cannot be accepted.

12

Concrete. Wednesday, November 15, 1995 &~

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•Katie Lane meets a UEA grad who found ajob with a difference

I

t's that time of year again when all final year students are beginning to think of life after UEA, when the worry of finding a job becomes more important than that essay deadline that's looming.

So what do you do?

Go through the papers with a fine-toothed comb searching for that elusive career start?

How about UEA's very own Careers Centre?

Or what about going to the Job Centre?

For one UEA graduate, it wasn't a case of him going to the Job Centre, more the other way round!

Binoy Dharsi graduated from UEA last year with a degree in Business, Finance and Economics.

Binoy and his twin brother, Bimal, are currently involved in a national advertising campaign for, of all people, the Job Centre, which they found out about purely by chance.

Bimal works for an advertising agency and saw a memo asking for a set of twins, needed for an advertising campaign.

So they went along to top London-based photographer Nadav Kander, not knowing what was in store for them (and not taking it all that seriously!), where they took some preliminary photographs.

About three days later, they were asked to go along and do the job!

Binoy said he couldn't believe his luck. ·we were paid £500 each .for doing a five hour shoot and we got to wear Armani and Paul Smith suits", he said.

"The pay was very good but unfortunately we didn't get to keep the clothe~!"

When asked if he enjoyed his brief modelling career, he replied, "lt was hard work actually! lt was five hours of standing up, continually having to change clothes and strike the right pose."

What a hard life!

So let's get this right, Binoy and Bimal were paid £100 an hour to stand around in Arrnani suits having a right old laugh?

"Yeah, that was about it!" laughed Binoy, adding, "I don't think I'd go into modelling as a career but if another job came up, I'd definitely do it again. "lt was great fun having people phone me up that I knew at university saying, 'is it really you?"

But the real irony of the situation was when Binoy went to the Job Centre to see if the advert had been used.

"I was just looking in the window to see if our advert was there and I saw this job for tele,marketing, so I applied for it and got the job!", he said.

So it was really a case of 'not what your job centre can do for you, but what you can do for your job centre!'

Good work fella!

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14 Concrete, Wednesd ay, November 15, 1995 t

Features

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• Emi Emoto continues her look at what foreign students are making of the UEA experience

P

erhaps you think Annette has been brought up in England .

She seems to have settled down well in her cosy room at Norfolk Terrace and looks rather re laxed .

But Annette Leyssner is an EUR first year from Berlin, so let's find out how she's enjoying being in Britain.

This is not the first time that she has been in England , however.

Sh e has v isited London , Brighton and Card iff on holiday, and has also worked for 'Scotland on Sunday' for ten we eks befo re she ca me to UEA. So how did she find her job? "lt was good fu n and I got many free handcream samples", she said.

But who would expect to get samples of hand cream when wo rk in g fo r a new s pap e r co mpan y?

In fact, Annette did some research to get some pro motional material advertised in a Sunday newspaper.

She conducted some questionnaires with loca l people to find out wh ic h bra nd of handcream wa s supposed to be good. So she had a bag

full of products offered to her, and still hasn't fin ished using the samples .

"I've got to use them all you know", she said, "but I can 't because there are so many of them left.

"I am usi ng them for legs and knees , not only for hands

Ap parently, she got about 80 prospectuses from British universities and thought, "No way. I'm not going to UEA where the accommodation looks like a prison cell! " She thought her family knew somebody whose daughter was studying at UEA

, She got 80 prospectuses from British universities and thought "There¥s no way I'm going to UEA. All the student accommodation there looks like a prison cell!"

1

j

and nails."

Anyway, the work sounds like a lot of fun and she seems to have enjoyed it.

Is it popul ar that Ge rm an people com e to Britain to study then?

"Well , I suppose not ", Annette said .

"There are a lot of students who come here for a year but I haven 't met many who do a whole degree cou rse - I mean for three years ."

But why UEA though? Did the prospectus attract her very mu c h?

"Oh no! I thoug ht how tacky it looked", she said , referring to last year's silver model.

that she finds different from home .

"Why isn 't recycling as popular here as it is in Germany we have more recycling facilities such as bottle banks."

She stresses that although she comes from a big city and can 't say that th ings are the same everywhere in Germany, this seems to be one of the major difference s she has found .

On her co rrido r, pe o ple

dation close to the university.· Luckily, her parents lived not far away so she didn 't have that problem , but "it isn't unusual for some students to go to their lectures spending one or two hours by train ."

This kind of probl em sounds very similar to some Japanese cases .

I asked her whether lecturers use a microphone, since there are so many students in a huge lecture theatre .

much ", she said , "and because I don't drink alcohol I don 't miss German beer either, although quite a few people have asked me if I ever miss it."

According to some people on her corridor, Annette practically l ives on mu esl i and Bac helor's instant noodles , coffee and scones .

"Oh I know it's bad , but I can't be bothered to cook ", she laughed .

have a ca rdboard box in their kitchen so that they can collect newspaper for recycling .

"I am thinking of joining a society to ra ise people's awareness of environmental issues. I think it's very important and the re are a lot of things to be done ."

So what about UEA in general? "I'm pleased to have every1hing on campus , and it's nice to have a well-equipped comput ing centre and ca reers centre.

"In Berlin , we don't get the careers centre ta rgetted especially at students ; universities tend to be disorganised about things li ke tutorial systems and caree rs advice."

Apparently, there are about 55,000 students at Freie University where she used to be and there are many problems facing students. "lt is hard to find accommo-

"Oh of course they do," she s·aid . "Students and lecturers hardly get to know each other because there isn't such a th ing as a personal advising system .

"I think it's a very good idea and I wish we could have a similar situation back home, too ."

The large number of stu dents can cause an odd situation .

"You even find there are a lot of students on you r course with whom you never meet throughout your university life."

We agreed that universities have a better environment for many students consi derin g the relationshi ps betwee n lecturers and students.

Annette doesn 't seem to miss home much, but doesn't she miss her mum 's food or anything like that?

"My mum doesn't cook

And despite a notice that people on her corridor put on their kitchen door, 'NOODLES AND MUESLI PROHIBITED', she doesn 't fancy giving them up either.

"Italian herb flavoured noodles never let me down!"

Annette wants to try a lot of things while she is studying at UEA. Voluntary work is of interest to her, so perhaps Student Community Action may attract her.

"I would also like to work for an international organ isation when I fin ish my degree in the future", she said .

Surely no-one could reject Annette who is friendly and challen ging with the ad ded ability of several European languages!

Good luck!

and liked Norwich a great deal , so that was a kind of tri gger for her to decide to come to UEA. But w he n she saw th e fam ily frie nd recentl y she found out it was a misunderstand ing be cause his daughter went to Warwick!

Never mind ...

Annette now admi ts that her accomm odati on is n't bad at all and she seems happy with it.

"I don't even feel like I am in a total ly different country because it's still in Europe and is bound to be similar in one way or the other'', she said .

But there are some things

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16 Concrete, Wednesday, November 15, 1995

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A new Bond is on the block, but will Pierce Brosnan enjoy the same licence to thrill as his incarnations? Liz Mills investigates ... ore institutional ized than the Royal Family, wheeled out on the Bank Holiday and of course , every Christmas when you sit with the family on the sofa with the tasty turkey sarnies (the ones you'll be sick of in three weeks time) and watch Go/dfinger for the seventh time , but hey, admit it, you love it all.

Yes Bond is back.

The weighty mantle of Bondhood, complete with that Martini shaken not stirred; Q's gadgets; that infamous line 'The name's Bond ... James Bond' and of course, the 'gi rls ', has passed on once again, this time to Pierce Brosnan.

Whether he can pull off the charm and regain some of the character that made Cannery's original Bond the best has yet to be seen.

Bond of late has suffered, his popularity steadily declin in g.

Which brings us to the question, what went wrong with Bond?

Okay, here's a test for you .

What are the most memorable Bond scenes for you?

Maybe Ursula Andress emerging nymph-like from the sea in Dr. No ; the Midas-touched Jill Masterson (Shirley Eaton) in Goldfinger, that hair-raising tarantula scene also in Dr. No or Rosa Klebb putting her boot in as the sadistic lesbian in From Russia With Love.

Notice anything? Yes, they're all scenes from the first three films.

Bias hasn't even come into it.

Can you remember any such nailbiting moment post Sean Connery?

I think

demise brought about by Cannery's departure?

Well certainly his original style has a lot to do with it. But there's more!

Bond gave movies a 'licence to thrill'. James and co. brought glamour, action, exotic foreign locations, weird and wonderful gadgets and that quintessential ironic humour to the screen for the first time - becoming a forerunner to todays action-tests.

Can you think of any action hero who doesn't despatch the villain with an appropriate one-liner sound familiar?

Arguably, Bond gave up spying after the first two films .

The producers instead went in for pure-action set pieces.

Technology in the form of super out-fitted Aston Martins became an object for pleasurable consumption.

The plot (when one finally showed up) had Bond undoing the murderous work of some supertalented evil bod.

Post Connery, came the stunning non-entity of George Lazenby, making such a faux pas by marrying his Bond girl, as to be quickly passed over for good old Roger Moore, smooth ie extraordinaire.

The 70s saw quite a change for .James.

Moore relied heavily on self parody, almost to the point of kitsch and the films slipped increasingly into the formulaic, becoming little more than expensive B-movie plots.

Bond was fortunately largely unaffected by feminism, but the essential Bond babe bikini got swapped for a less revealing number.

By the 80s, the shoulder pads got bigger, the lines more cliched and the coldwar was thawing.

So if the commies weren't going to , who would ransom the world as we know it for a zillion dollars?

With Moore no more, Timothy Dalton graced our screens with the t:

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Honor Blackman as the great Pussy Galore (left) and Margaret No/an as Dink

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age-old damsel in distress doesn't go round with a Kafashnikov? Honor Blackman and Britt Ekiand proved that a woman could take care of herself, but the •"':I t f ' ' v~ 'Jee., a~ : o d. si \i:ater promise of a return to the originalstyled Bond.

Ears pricked up and, to be fair, gadgetry was sacrificed for some semblance of plot.

But Bond was competing with the Die Hards and Terminators of the movie world , and the whole style was sent in for a PC overhaul - Big mistake.

Ever noticed that the villains were in some way socially abnormal , as if their evil nature was someth ing to do with a childhood complex?

Oddjob was dwarfed (sorry, vertically challenged}; Jaws was a vertically unchallenged person with very sharp teeth ; Scaramanga had three nipples; Blofeld had a cat (my apologies to all cat lovers) .

PC has culminated in the loss of

'

truly individual characters.

The other main casualty were the 'girls' . When will the producers learn that the age-old damsel in distress doesn't go round with a

New kid on the block, Pierce Brosnan

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Concrete, Wednesday, November 15, 1995

11

Features Blackman and Britt Ekland proved that a woman could take care of herself, but the last few have been as PC (sorry dull) as dishwater.

Look at the names, how can Kara, Lupe and Pam even be in the same league as Honey, Ms Goodnight, Octopussy and .of course Pussy Galore.

Nor could they get away with those Julian Clarey-esque one liners like: 'How reckless of me, I've made you all wet' ...'Yes, but my Martini's still dry' and no way could Bond greet his 'girl' with 'Your frock - tight in all the right places, not too many buttons .. .' lt looks as if the PC trend is stronger than ever in Goldeneye.

The girls are now 'Bond women' and horror of all horrors, even M is female. Bond has also been redefined, returning as an Irishman, driving a BMW and swapping the Saville Row suits for Italian designer.

The word is that Brosnan does bring some of Cannery's original character back to the role, but I fear the lack of budget might be showing in the action packed 'tank' chase (now I don't want to seem like a kill joy or anything but these armour-plated people carriers aren't renowned for their amazing 0-60 times are they?)

Give me Shirley Bassey giving it her all any day of the week!

Hard-nosed M (left), the smouldering Miss Moneypenny and the man with all the gadgets, Q

The weighty mantle of Bond-hood, complete with Martini shaken not stirred, Q's endless gadgets, that infamous line 'The name's Bond ... James Bond' and of course, the 'girls', h as passed on once again , this t i me to Pie r ce Brosnan

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Concrete, Wednesday, November 15, 1995

,Features

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%.

•Bitter and twisted from his year abroad, EUR student Tim Wales laments what's changed at UEA...

P

thentic sixth form disco feel. assers-by would I won't mention the 50p exask me on my year abroad, "So, tra on the ticket to watch the bar close. are you missing Same time next week then?

UEA then?" Such a question would inevitably Meanwhi le the Union's set adrift pleasant Norwichian been serving us .. . up mutton memories in my mind as I lay dressed as lamb. slouched over some bench in the Paris --~~-::!"""-::0::" Metro, with only a bottle of cheap supermarket plonk for comfort.

"Wonder how the old concrete c a r bu ncl e ' s I chan ged? " woul d blu bber, wiping a fond tear from my eye.

NOT A LOT! Some things don't change, and UEA is one of them , even though it wants to, and tries, very hard.

The jury's still out on the Take the LCR for example; newly refitted Norwich AssoI' m sure they were playing ciation Football & Fitness those tunes in that order in my club ba r (the NAFF bar for first year, let alone in the first short) . week of term .

At least all that important At least they switch the building work in the entrance lights off in the Hive 'Posing to Union House has been Zone' now, to give it that au- completed , part-funded by the

u

University, so that those poor little snac k-mach in es can have a home of their own , out of the cold.

Then there' s the new improved smaller loos to give the guys something to think about

at the LC R, when the girls have to come and use the Gents rath er than queue an hour in the Ladies.

Perhaps the new basin for the fountain/sewer outlet in the Square is inte nded to make up for the deficit...

Actually, I notice that the Post Offi ce an d the Library

N TSS

5

p

Printed with your own unique deso logo (for example beefy TShirt wi one colour print :£4.95 - min order ~ $~ .

H/PI Tops, Joggers, Sweats hi v o Polo Shirts, Tops, TShi ~~~ Engraving for fro ies and shiel be arranged •

have queue facilitators now for their clients. lt was Professor Jack Dee who first noticed the "Go on , you go and wait over there, by that bit of rope" phenomenon in his bank.

The underlying assumption must be that we students are obviously too drunk to know how to queue properly, and so need some kind of guidance.

But how can we queue properly in the Post Office, when you have to go to the wrong end of the rope to get to the furth est window because the person at the other window is inevitably block ing the way past, thus rendering the rope red undant?

Meanwhile, as for the library, no bags! Only £1 coin lockers now. No bags!

Oh, you don 't have any change . No bags! Where's the bag bin gone? No bags! etc, etc.

There's a nice new barrier system fitted with Attendant as standard. lseethey'veconvertedtheissue desk too - into what looks like a bar.

That would certainly make more students use the place!

The opening hours are already ideal - 9 o'clock every morning, except on Sundays.

All this plus a shiny new Vice Chancellor as well!

She turned round the V & A, madeitchictogothereandeat in its trendy cafe.

No reason why she can't do the same for UEA. Get rid of all that concrete nonsense, to NCP, say, as a ready-made car park and then focus on promoting the really prestigious part of the University - the Sainsbury Centre Restaurant with its art hors d'oeuvres. ...

Ah, but hang on, I hear you cry: you're just a cynical hack

cause he lived at Fifers Lane before all that new-fangled University Village nonsense, and

France, and you're in Corona, Mexico?

And, of course, if you do end up getting a luxury UEA abode,

had a year off, sorry, year abroad (which was compulsory anyway), it gives you some goddamn right to pontificate and mickey-take.

SowhatdootherEURfourth years think of UEA, now they're back in good ol' blighty?

Carrie speaks for the masses in pointing out the unfairness in the University's allocation of accommodation .

"People returning from a year abroad should be given priority after First Years and foreign students", she said.

Thiswasthecaseupuntilthis semester when a change in policy meant many a stressful start to the term, due to the bizarre clearing system, and a back to basics camp-out in the Nelson Court common-room.

Why should it be just as difficult to get a place on campus, as it is to go house-hunting in Norwich with your chums when one is in Bad Munchausen, Germany, the other in Alphaville,

you'll be paying more than you did in your first year (see under 'Rent Strike').

"EUR's got crapper," is the blunt opinion of Camille, which sums up rather nicely the feelings of other students I spoke to, who single out the poor standard of administration and the narrow choice of courses in particular.

Feelings do vary, depending on the subject being taught, but I'm sure those nice Government Higher Education Assessors, dropping by EUR soon for a cup of tea and a chat, will be very interested in hearing what students have to say.

Louise didn't have anything to say to me: "No comment," she said, before adding, "First Years get a Freshers week but when we come back it's like we're starting all over again.

"Maybe more could be done for returning students."

A fourth year Freshers Fair

who thinks th::t;ji.J~s:t;be:-~:;:q~~==E:S~i::3 and the like sounds good to me .

However, it begs the all important question: if Freshers are first years, what do we call fourth years? Fookers?

But the most crucial observation comes from Chris, who, in mentioning how old he feels at the LCR, is surely squeezing the metaphorical zit on all our fourth year fo rehead s.

The fact that we're not any younger, even while at university, is perhaps the hardest change of all for us to come to terms with.

That explains why many students , fourth year or not, live in the bar, using the medicin al qualities of alcohol to help them ~~~~$.__;:,..._..._.;.! forget. , ~·· ,•..• •.•. •..•A ·.•..•·~~~M• '.f,li~~·1--l:~~+:~

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Concrete. Wednesday, November 15, 1995

19

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22 Concrete, Wednesday, November 15, 1995

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--, No. 4: The Tribute Band Stand up and be counted: The Australian Doors, The Bootleg Beetles, Bjom Agim, Absolute Madness, Nearvana, The Afghanistan Oasis and the bloody Peruvian Pulp, no doubt.

Why, oh why, oh why? What is the point? Presumably these sad and (hopefully) lonely individuals must have some admiration for the bands which they (allegedly) sooodllook ike. So why on earth do they feel it necessary to royally embarrass both themselves and the bands which they seek to deify?

And while we're on the subject. who goes to watch them? I'm being serious. Really, who In their right mind goes to watch these bands? Dear, oh dear, you sad peope. Let me let you into a little seaet... that band up on stage Isn't The Doors or The Beetles, or whoever else you may believe they are, oh no, that band up on stage is Barry Bloke The Bank Manager And His Pot Bellied Middle Aged Chums in some delusion d grandeur, pretending to be 'The Fab F<U'.

Come on aH you Hive Nuclear Bomb protesters, stop having a go a Monsieur Chirac, and attack these stupid r-wits. They're thereal threattoglobalpeace. lime Tobln

T

Blimey! Since this competition started, you'd be amazed at what members of the Concrete editorial team have fished out from the darkest recesses of their wardrobes and brought, panting, into the office shouting "this can go in the sack of cack!" You see, we're only here to serve you and we're carefully selecting only the finest cack for our sack. So, here's the pile of cock on offer this week:

ATREASURE HUNT BOOK 'M-itcH LOOKSUKESOME

DUNGEONSANODRAGONS THING EXCEPTYOUACTUALLYGOROUNDTHE COUNTRYSEARCHING FOR

REAL TREASURE! UKE'MIAT IDIOT'WOULD BETHATSAD?!

AZlONTRAIN CD ROM!AND LET ME TELL YOU, IT'S THE BIGGEST PilE OF~ ADOt..EDTRIPE NE EVER s:EN AHB.JUMRJNG! NO, NOT ONE THAT FLOATS IN THE AIR, BUT ARJNG FROM THE BAND

t-El..l.t.10FCOI...R)E! ATAPEDINTERVIEWWITH RJKKI FARR!WHOEVERTHAT

s

SOME UGLY CHAIN WITH NO NAMEADPOSTERS! Wow! To win all this shite, all you have to do is come up to Concrete HQ doing an impression of Eric Cantona.

An upturned collar and a French accent will do, no kung-fu please. More toss in two weeks!

his event began with STRANGELOVE, a typically indie band with, at times, elements of the Beautiful South (vocally), Morrissey and even Pink Floyd on one track. Although the musicians were all very talented (as with all th e groups playing here tonight), the group just did not cut it for me. If it's not new nowadays, I'm usually disappointed. Song themes included the lead singer being in love with someone who was not in love with him, perhaps explained by another track exploring alcoholism and impotence.

PUSHERMAN sounded like they might be pretty good from the opening riff of their set, but also failed to provide anything original.

Stone Roses meets Charlatans meets Oasis.

The third track felt like it wanted to be Soho's '80s hit, Hippy Chick, while

~-----------------~ another song directly lifted the 路ooh ooh" vocals from the Rolling Stones

Sympathy For The Devil.

ELCKA got me going a bit more, but I suspect that was more to do with the Stella than the music itself.

Thankfully, POWDER, the final band, really did provide an interesting set that was well worthwhile. The first

Norwich's own DJ collective Offyerface came roaring into action three years ago doing free parties, marquees and benefits on the underground dance circuit. They have since moved into club culture introducing new dance acts at the Norwicl) Arts Centre and promoting their own explosive theme nights at The Waterfront.

They have also been rA~nnrl~ih Athletico, Return To The and

turt>o-charged Louis, CJ, Vodka& the infamous pervy .. ~........ _ ..On Friday Nov 24th, Offyerface present the Dope On Plastic tour at The Waterfront featuring DJs Sherman At The Controls and Tin Tin as well as some of Offyerface's own record-spinners. Look forward to a musical cruise down the highway of funky beats, at the intersection of house and triphop, with the turn off to jungle up ahead. Sorted geezer.

track was evocative of the Beastie Boys with a female vocalist, but things moved right along into new territory with great performances from the whole group.

Breast thrusting galore and leather trou sers made a welcome end to an otherwise average evening.

The Stella was good, though.

James Lw hey

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Live Review:

IVY /MAGOO/BLUESCRIPT I JOYLAND

PUNK PLONK CLUB NIGHT TMLCR

Arts C.ntrelNUde Club November6

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,

November4

his showcase of bands from the Now That's What I Call Noisebox CD began with Joyland - a trio of Oasis soundalikes. They gave a passable performance of catchy(ish) up-tempo guitar pop. They had a couple of weirder moments when they approached something more engaging but soon returned to the more predictable side of Britpop. As openers they suffered from a sparse audience. Their track on the Noisebox compilation is a dance remix - perhaps they should be given the benefit of the doubt.

The lights go down for Bluescript and we hear spooky guitars. This quartet have been together 18 months and have just replaced their singer. lt showed: she looked embarrassed and awkward throughout the set. They are releasing a demo in February, and perhaps by then the singer will have gained sufficient confidence to put on a show.

Magoo were unquestionably the highlight of the evening with their discordant, spiky guitars. These four sick boys make music to bleed in the bath to (ouch! - Music Ed) - loud and painful with harmonised vocals holding it together. They have a Peel session on December 12th and could go far.

The closing band, Ivy, were a sad joke. From the cheesy keyboard opening, to the hackneyed histrionics of the guitar players, I was wondering if they were trying to be funny.

Very, very sad. stay far away. I left half-way through.

Mllo Taylor

N

ow I'm positive that there are a fair few techno-lovers in this fine city, but I guess they must either be lazy, or destitute. Probably the latter since we've reached crunch time. when the next meal glimmers like a fuzzy oasis (not the band) and one discovers that the majority of us at UEA are actually here to do a degree.

Minimalist tum-out. more so than for Club Athletico, but musically just as worthwhile; right at the edge of interesting and experimental dance music. DJs 'Hijacker' and 'Bushwacka' from Club Vapourspace (London) kicked off the deep sounds. Not ridiculously hard or fast. but beatsy and interesting.

The live P.A from Megalon brought the intensity down a little, getting a trancey building up, breaking down thing going, but it wasn't as ground breaking as I'd hoped.

They had variation in their tunes speedwise, but they had gaps between tracks. which kinda breaks up the aural joumey.

And so, sickeningly, most groovers had adjourned to the Offyerface room by the time headliner Mark Broom came on. The man blistered and sweltered with complex, funky techno, hardening up towards the end and spinning a few people out in the process. lt has to be said that this seemed a little wasted on the people of Norwich. I don't know what the problem is - it's not that much harder than Handbag, you know.

A/ex Shepherd

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NOIXCUSIS Yol

Peter Hart talks a load of crap about teen bands - Just for you.

Don't know about you, but here at The Event we're hooked on Hollyoaks, the great new soap on Channel 4 (oh no, here we go again Music Ed). So what can be better than spending the evening hanging out in the London bar run by Nick Pickard (Tony from the soap)?

Yes siree, The Chilled Eskimo in Ladbroke Grove is definitely the place to be, as it's where all the pop stars, including Craig from Deuce, while away their time. Unfortunately I'll have to admit that The Event hasn't yet met anyone famous in said watering hole!

Perhaps it was because Kelly Lisa Craig and Paul were playing a doubleheader with ... wait for it...

Eurovision winners Bucks Fizz! All the classics were there, including My Camera Never Lies and Making Your Mind Up but sadly Cheryl Baker wasn't.

Still, we think Mike Nolan and Bobby Gee were always better then Chezza and Jay Aston anyway!

Sean·s Shocker!

Smash Hits favourite Sean Maguire has been confessing the randy exploits of his past to anyone that wants to listen. "I used to two-time Deuce! girls all the time," he's Speaking of Deuce, the teen revealed. But now the star popsters put in a great finds it hard to trust in girls performance at London's in case they do the same.

Astoria last Saturday, even "I'm the most jealous though they've just been person in the world. I get -8!'0f)J'Ie& -by-thei~L reeel'd-lebeiJ-. - 'absolutely-mad -ttrtd · ~

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demanding, obsessive and possessive." Take a tip from us, Seany, shut up! You can shag what you want when you're famous I

Cut Out For Ill Finally, news reaches this column that Oasis frontman liam Gallagher is no longer happy fighting with Damon from Blur. especially seeing as he has to apologise every time he insults Mr. Albam. So liam has now taken up fighting himself! Yep, The Event spotted him at the Earl's Court after-show party, shadow-boxing a cut-out of himself. What a card, ahem, board!

That's yer lot. More top goss from the world of ... -pop m two weel<s.·C yal

GIR NOW OPEN - ClUBWEAR FOR GIRlS miss moneypenny - dub - atomic - komodo above the blue jean eo 8-1 0 lower goat lane •

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Concrete, Wednesday, November 15, 1995

The

e e

OK, first let's have some background on this. For those of you not in the know, Noisebox is a rehearsal studio on Mountergate. If you 're in a band in Norwich, you practise at Noisebox because noone else offers such a good service. The operation is run almost single-handedly by the venerable Pete Morgan, a man who really cares about local music. In fact, Pete cares so much that three years ago, he set up his own record label.

Noisebox records exists to put out records by Norfolk bands, most of whom wouldn't have a record deal otherwise. Its successes include securing a Radio One session for Ivy and a Melody Maker Single Of The Week for Waddle. This may not seem like much, but

HEY YOU! WAIT! Don't buy that Pulp album, ignore Oasis and throw that Blur disc away because Kim Wilde has a new album out. Honestly, it's really good. No, please don't turn the page - I had to listen to this album and I don't see why you shouldn't have to at least read about it.

You must remember Kim Wilde she made all those great songs back in the '80s. Which ones?

Well, I can't recall any off the top of my head, but she was always on Top Of The Pops so she must have been great.

Still, according to her press release , she's been reborn as a "credible soul diva" so that's alright then. Assuming your definition of "credible soul diva" stretches no further than Kylie Minogue. On a bad day. And at least Kylie doesn't trouble us with hour-long albums.

Girts - avoid oinger-haired men; you might end up like Kim.

Stuart Dredge

W ith little regard for their own credibility, Soda (as in pop, not baking) hurt themselves at the bandwagon known as Britpop.

They certainly have all the right qualifications - one word name, mates with Blur, er, they're British - and the song itself is pretty good with its punky guitar and catchy chorus. But in the current ultra-competitive dimate they need a little extra edge and sparkle ifthey want to challenge those currently holding the reign (how about not

trying to imitate bloody Britpop?- Backlash Ed). For alii know- i.e. nothing- they may yet have this. Nice accurately arrogant song title though- didn't you and your mates always think you owned the town, or at least the park bench?

David Jenkins

KRS-1 is back, as all the hype suggested. This is yet another double-LP of '95 that's not to be missed. Again, DJ Premier comes up trumps with his slick production and overall finesse , as do Diamond D and Showbiz, both adding their flava to this album. Look out for an OC snippet in Dainja and Busta Rhymes on Build Ya

Skillz.

Pete Morgan in his box of noise

For All The Cows- now there's an a-moos-ing title. Sad to say though, the track does not live up to the udderly brilliant debut single This Is A Call -they cud really have done a lot better. Still, despite my sister's opinion that they sound like a "struggling pub band, • it's not a total load of old bull; us Velveteenies do rather like having quiet guitar strumming interspersed with all-<>ut noise and

indecipherable lyrics. once you understand the minuscule budget that Noisebox is Both musically and lyrically solid, the blastmaster KR5-1 comes across in a plethora of styles, showcasing his lyrical prowess and Dave Grohl may not be deliberately milking the spirit of Kurt, but let's working from, just staying afloat is an astonishing achievement. so, a few years on and it's time to stand back and take stock. This intelligence. Kris Parker's knowledge truly reigns supreme again. face it, his band still sounds like Nirvana. Dairy break away from is where the LP comes in_ That's What 1Call Noisebox includes a Hardcore hip-hop with an intellectual edge- it's the bollocks. Listen. the mould? Or is it just a case of grungy-form encephalopathy? track by every band who appeared on the Backwater series sa Luc Baptiste (that's it, you're fired- Ed) Who cares? You'll buy it anyway, kids. few others. ps~::;;::==::::;::::::::;:;:;;::;::m;:;~~=z:;~~======:::::i:;;:::;::::::;::::;:::=:::::;~~::-:=:::::;::--:;, Cazza J The idea is great. The intention is admirable.

Even the artwork looks lovely. But the music ... well I have to be honest and say that, on the w hole, it's nothil1g special.

A gushing press release shows that Livingstone There are. of course, some fine moments: Ivy have all the hype associated with that cursed musical provide their best song for ages and just about tag, 'the next big thing'. Fortunately for the band, the curb those All About Eve tendencies; Joyland's hype is a load of bollocks - from the sound of this October Rain is given a most tasteful remix ; single, things can only get better.

Mechanical Star are too melodic for their own Not that this is entirely un-catchy, but it is about as good and really deserve some major label original as a new Status Quo single. As for lyrics, if attention, if only because they sound exactly like you're looking for something deep and meaningful, Crowded House (no bad thing, honest!); forget it- Livings tone stick to singing about Magoo's 90 seconds of studio noise promises "gangstas" and shagging, or was it shagging an interesting future ; and Neatishead do very gangstas? Good intentions they may have, but try well with their intention of sounding like a harder guys.

Slmon Raisey similarty-named band who do that moody breakbeat thing.

Musical disasters are in evidence too: pathetic poetry that purports to be meaningful over a Phil A band with a name like Garbage is a reviewer's best Coli ins backing track? Ask Soft Cotton County; possible dream. The puns that you can use on the an embarrassing anti-CJB rant by a funk-metal band name are unlimited. The endless opportunities band? That'll be Naked; Rubbish samples and for 'rubbish' word-plays were flying around my head. industrial-style riffing that tries to be Negativland Until I actually put the record on anyway. · but is just very, very poor? Step forward N.F.L. Unfortunately, the single turned out to be rather good, The rest of the album just seems to revel in its thus consigning all of my 'garbage' puns to the litteraverageness. The frustrating aspect is how bin. Strong guitars, bouncy tunes, evocative lyrics, dated a lot of this sounds - Norwich might be Queer has it all, and yet it all fits together well. So isolated, but come on people, we don't have to well, in fact, that you can't see the join. This is one to wait two years for a copy of the NME any more .

• • • • play again and again.

The lack of personality in most of the tracks is also evident. At no point did I think "hmmm, I'd like to see a picture of this band ." lt may be unfair, but I was imagining them all in plain T-shirts and sensible shoes.

However, bear in mind that this is a w ideranging compilation and there's bound to be something that takes your fancy. Also, many of these tracks are merely outtakes and can 't be viewed as the bands' best work. Whatever, you should buy this CD j ust so Noise box can continue and give you the opportunity to do better in the future .

Sam Richards •The CD is out now and should be available in most lo cal record shops.

....

-----~----~-~----------"'!'""---- Garbage they may be, trash they are definitely not.

VARIOUS AR IIS'IS

Martin Pl ant

AdUltS only: ftle Pllthl•t Pc1J1t7 AlbUm In ftleWOIId I LP So I donned my shabby brown overcoat, tiptoed back to my room , and removed the CD from its glamorous and strangely eroti c, if slightly cheap, packaging. Almost immediately I felt a surge in my groin and a redness to my cheeks as the X-rated tracks wafted to my receptive eartobes. With such classics as Black Lace's Have

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A Screw and Sex Club's Big Dick Man, it was almost too much to bear, and my poor next-door neighbours had me banging on their door for hours for a bit of light relief (ooer! MusicEd) .

I slipped it on during an evening w ith friends(ca/m down James - Music Ed) , and Judge Dread's Up With The Cocklf~nsferred ""

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a rather dull night into an orgy of lust, heightened even more when Smokie And Roy Chubby Brown's Living Next Door To

These Welsh bards have been producing highly acclaimed records for a little while now but this is my A/ice (Who The P** Is A/ice) first taste- and it's good enough for me to want to hit the scene for the second seek out the others. Imagine a moog-less Stereolab time on the CD. Don't bother, frontad by a Welsh male voice choir, with flutes , unless you want to catch cheesy keyboard and steel guitar, and maybe you'll something rather nasty from get the idea. Never mind who they sound like though, your music collection. all you need to know is that this is really, really fab . A James Lushey , qooner al)d a swooner. .. .

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We talk a lot about pop music up here at The Event. Now, the term 'pop' these days seems to encompass everyone from MN8 to Sebadoh, so when we use the word, you probably wonder what we're on about. And, to be frank, so do we. Luckily, then, here is a record which perfectly, brilliantly defines the concept of pop. One listen, and you will know.

Saint Etienne- what a great idea. Two '60s-obsessed mu so blokes and a gorgeous female singer merging Camaby Street chic with a truly '90s sensibility. Even the name is immaculate in its conception, evoking none-more-English football images while simultaneously being stylishly European.

On previous Saint Etienne albums, they occasionally lost themselves in whimsical nothingness and over-referentiality but, this being a singles compilation , none of these doubts arise. lt is inspired from start to finish, through the heavenly Nothing Can Stop Us (and what a statement that was for a second single), the joyous abandon of You 're In A Bad Way and Like A Motorway, ostensibly Kraftwerk with better vocals. Too Young To Die closes with the spectacular new single He 's On The Phone, a pumping house tune, but done with so much class that M People might as well give up now, because they'll never better it.

Find someone beautiful and fall in love to this record .

Sam Richards

Norwich's own Def-Tex can often be found jazzing it up downstairs at Hector's on a Monday and the influences come through on this release.

Full of sweet sounds and jazzy breaks, the 12" has plenty of promise. However, I feel too much has been put onto this record. Because of a poor pressing (no doubt due to lack of funds), at times the tracks sound messy and cluttered.

Still, with time and money, this shouldn't be the case. Only a UK act could produce a 12"1ike this and the influences that DefTex have incorporated set them in good stead for the future . At the moment, though, it's rough and ready and I get the feeling that the rapping doesn't quite compliment the music.

Luc Baptiste

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Tuscadero fans can let out their breath as the band's 'longawaited' follow-up EP to 1994's The Pink Album is released .

Step Into My Wiggle Room is a lengthy affair at eight tracks and shows a contrast between the grunge/pop of Holidays R He// with its punchy chorus, and the more experimental but ultimately less successful Given Up which sounds like a second-rate four-track demo.

Slack production blunts the guitar sounds and Margaret McCartney's likeable voice is submerged in the mix, while the drumming is best left unmentioned. As a live act, Tuscadero could be quite an interesting prospect, but on record most of their songs are instantly forgettable. The laid back shuffle of the final track Palmer is the best on the EP, assuming you are prepared to listen to the concluding three minutes of studio banter.

TomHoward

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What a waste of vinyl. What could have made a reasonable 7" has been dragged out to what is a soggy 12"1oser.

The A-side is listenable, with some meaningful lyrics, for a London Hip-Hop group. What destroys this is that the accompaniment sounds dangerously similar to Love City Groove- Ugghhh!

Flip it over and the remix of The Capital sounds better than on the A-side. This side loses any purpose through two instrumentals that consist of someone scratching around on the decks, with another playing what sounds like a keyboard they got for Christmas. lt promised a lot, but gave very little. Don't rule out hearing this upstairs at Ritzy's on Monday nights though!

Scott Tompsett

Wheel ol lortune 0

CAftiERII• "WHEEL . . HappyDapJLP

"Of all the things a popular song can bring I A permanent picture of hope is what I hate the most."

Empty Head

it's difficult to believe that so much hate and aggression can build up in the friendly sea-side town of Great Yarmouth . And it's hardly a centre of the Great British music scene either.

But Catherine Wheel, hailing from Yarmouth, have brought a new sense of hostility to their music, on the release oftheir third album. The irony ofthe title Happy Days quickly becomes apparent.

Adding a harder edge to their music, Catherine Wheel have moved away from their early 'indie' tag, and the music is 5ecause of it. The . ~ ' ·' ' '

•' 6e'tter

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This album plays like scenes from a stylishly done film of the eclectic underworld. The second compilation brings forth an experimental extravaganza featuring the likes of Marden Hill (with vocalist And rea Oliver), Raw Stylus, Mandalay and a remix of Junkwaffel by Portishead which was surprisingly the least entrancing of the bunch.

Triphoprisy //invades the mind with its fusion of soul grooves and metallic hard beats mixed in with some acid jazz. Every cut brings a heightened sense of dramatic, musical exploration, layering the soft notes of the flute with the cold sounds of the hard beats.

Lee Van Cleef comes up with some massive, straight-up hip-hop sounds accompanied by some mad percussion beats that set his intricate sound into a musical creation. Tosca Featuring The Chocolate Elvis brings his opera samples and jazz background to the musical affair.

This album is so dense with its ever-emerging experimental sounds that you are left in the dust. So listen close, prepared with your experimentally fun ked-out mind and you will discover all the beats in your body (I'm sure I will - Music Ed) .

JaneLee

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stature.

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Judy Staring At The Sun, which

features the vocals of Belly's Tanya Donelly- further recognition ~ol the~ rise

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26

Concrete. Wednesday, November 15, 1995

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'Uve Review: CORDURQY/KUl.AS ;iifrhe Wati!fiorit 'w October 31at

~_/

Despite the dodgy name, KLila Shaker are one of the more promising bands to emerge from indie oblivion for some time . Their blend of sixties sounds and rock riffs gives them a unique style and tonight their music is clear and crisp; there's no messing up. Kula Shaker have looks that surpass Menswear and talent that beats jusl about every other band that Britpop media hype has forced upon us in recent times. I know it sounds too good to be true , but with a debut single at the end of this month you can find out for yourself.

Corduroy don't take their music as seriously as their support, but why should they? They've already made it, they know they don't have to prove anything to this audience, so when they start to run around the stage half naked jumping on their instruments and each other, nobody complains, they just all have a damn good time!!

Becky Williams

-~

•In the first of a new series looking at regional 'scenes' _around the country, Mark Tobin gets down to the cool sounds emerging from young Glasgow

T

HE CHEMIKAL UNDERGROUND is one of a numbPr of record labels who are taking the initiative and doing things their own way, Set up toward the end of 1994 by the members of THE DELGADOS, they have so far released two singles; one by themselves (Monica Webster!Brand New Car) and one by BIS (Disco Nation 45), plus a joint release with Radar Records which was The Delgados' Lazarwalker EP, For anyone lucky _,enough to own any of these records - the two sole Chemikal Underground releases have both sold out of their initial pressing - you will know that they're top quality slabs of seven inch heaven, which value youth , energy, pop, cool and downright funkiness above even their own grandmothers_ True to their independent roots both these bands can be found releasing singles on other like-minded labels with other like..,.minded bands. The Christmas - ·~ issue of the Che Records singles club will feature both bands plus tunes by MERZBOW and GOLDEN MILE. Nick, the rather friendly chap down at Che, assures me that this will be available from December 4th. He also assures me that some time soon Britain should see the arrival of the Japan only release of a split seven inch between The Delgados and URUSEI YATSURA, who have released many a fine tune themselves recently, but perhaps none 3

• Buffalo Tom are one of the most fabulous and underrated bands on the planet. Sam Richards lent an ear to their sticksman, Tom Maginnis

F

our storming albums into their career and Buffalo Tom still haven't achieved front cover status. Too soulful for grunge and too American for Britpop, they certainly aren't a group to hi-jack a trend or wear stupid clothes for the sake of cheap publicity. Tom appears to be at ease with the band's position - he'd like to be more

hits with Bryan Adams."

Do you feel you're making progress as a band?

"Yes, but it's slow in the US. I don't think we've quite reached a national level.

You need MTV and mainstream radio play. " Is that kind of success actually what you want?

"Hmmm, good question -

Do you think that your honesty and emphasis on songwriting disadvantages you at all?

"Not really. I think there are still people who can appreciate good songs and we have a hardcore of fans who we try to add to with each new record . We rely on people to be able to look

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....

.

.

famous, but isn't willing to undergo the necessary compromises .

So, another tour, a slightly more salubrious tour bus - what kind of rock 'n' roll shenanigans do those Buffalo Tom boys get up between venues?

"Cribbage." Cribbage? "Yeah, it's a good game. I try to get the other guys interested, but they're a bit reluctant... and then we have these trucker tapes which you pick up at service stations. Rock

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once you get to a certain stage, you begin to lose control of things. But I don't realistically think that's going to happen . Our support is actually better in England. We usually have good press here when we get it, but I think they're always looking for that success story, or a crazy lead singer that goes out and gets wasted, and we just don't have that."

beyond the front cover bands. I think the fans we do have, we value a lot more. it's more satisfying to play to people who aren't just there because you were hyped in the press ."

Chris (the bass player) has really come of a9e in songwriting terms on Sleepy Eyed. Have you ever considered penning the odd tune yourself?

"I help out a lot with I

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arrangements, and I mess about on four-track, but the amount of stuff these guys are producing ... I'm just not needed! I'm pretty happy where I am ."

Tom is obviously a contented man . But can we get him to say anything controversial? Does he hate English food as much as most Americans seem to?

"I guess it's a different culture.. . (diplomatic chuckle) . A lot of it seems fried and greasy. But then I suppose you don't get much good weather here and you can't grow many fru it and vegetables. so you just have to eat other stuff!"

A sideswipe at the weather too! At least he was honest, and that is one of Buffalo Tom's best qualities. We need them as much as we need our shallow pop stars.

Listen to Sleepy Eyed, hug your friends and feel all cynicism lift from your body.

Sam Richards rot?

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Concrete, Wednesday, November 15, 1995

27

•As To Wong Foo... minces into town, Vanessa Smith picks ten dragtastic movies ...

Osame Uke nHot (1951) Dlr. BillY Wilder A shimmying lovely to kick off with. Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis battle it out for laughs, as the two musicians on the run from hitmen who, rather than donning bullet-proof jackets and armour-plated undies, take refuge in the frilliest dresses they can. Sceptics might question trying to look feminine next to Marilyn Monroe, but these lads just won't be told. Maximum points for the 'transparently butch cross-dressers propositioned by obviously blind male admirer' scene.

Lipstick marks:

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&lite RackJHonwPicbn Sla(1975)

Dlr.Jim Slllman The film that spawned a thousand LCR nights (but sadly not this year - Screen Ed), Rocky Horror eclipses any other drag film contenders, by virtue of inspiring its audience the to pour themselves into a skimpy fishnet, and participate. Wholesome whitebreads Janet and Brad stumble into the lair of one Frank N Furter (Tim Curry) and supporting oddball cast.

Lipstick marks:

0000

Orootsle (1975) Dlr: SJtmer Pollack Particularly strong on some fundamental ingredients: men struggling to master leg-shaving, men bemoan laddered tights, and men wrestle with false eyelashes. Tootsie is the . most entertaining of novelties - the in-drag comedy that's realistic.

Unable to get acting jobs as himself, Dustin Hoffman adopts the persona of feisty Dorothy Michaels trapping · him in a world of cold cream and curlers.

Lipstick marks:

0000 ()VIciOr/ Vlctorta (1982) Dlr: Blake Edn'ds For those of us weaned on Mary Poppins, this is a rather unsettling departure for Julie Andrews. Here she

plays a down-on-her-luck chanteuse in 1930s Paris, who becomes the city's foremost female impersonator. Contains the staple of many a good drag film: the testosteroneheaving oaf who falls for the star only to have his macho ego squashed when he discovers "she" is a man.

Lipstick marks:

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W8lers

Deservedly known as the arch doyen of tack, here Waiters takes a skip round 1962 Baltimore, and the issues of integration, fullerfigured girls' fashions, and music-mad teens therein.

More than anything else he revels in the lifestyle essentials indispensable to any drag film worth its salt: high-pitched voices .and hair big enough to warrant its own film credit.

Lipstick marks:

000

0ran:~~ Sona ntlm n•1 Dlr: Paul Bogart

Harvey Fienstein stars as Amold Beckoff, the flamboyant but sensitive gay drag queen, whose yeamings for love and respect are poured out to camera, in between puckering up for a lipstick retouch . Frankly depicting the various highs and heartbreaks of Fienstein's relationships, as both promiscuity and commitment are embraced, this is a bit of a tear-jerker.

Lipstick marks:

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0 Mls Dodllftre (1993) Dlr: Cllts COIIIDbus

The chance to get dolled up to the nines as a more mature woman, has previously been rather

underused by the crossdressing fraternity, to say the least. Robin Williams' devilish granny figure breaks the mould, however, as he breezes into the house of his former wife, employed to look after the three kids he's just lost custody of. Sporting twin-set and pearls while crunching out guitar licks on a broom handle, he's exactly the tonic the Women's Institute is in need of.

Lipstick marks:

00

0 Oltando (1993)

Dlr: SallY Po1ler

The ultimate in genderbending pies, this adaptation of Virginia Woolfs 1928 novel doesn't stop at dressing up. The film centres on an androgynous character, who slips through 400 years of history, changing sex as she does so. Tilda Swinton is too feminine to convince in the male role of Elizabeth l's favourite, but she has a better stab at it than Jack Lemmon. Show stopping bodice wearing of Quentin Crisp as the Queen, surely the model for a million pantomime dames.

Lipstick marks:

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Prlscllla, O•n ollhe

when he was on Neighbours .

Lipstick marks:

00000 ®EdWood (1994) Dlr: nm Bllton There's no faulting this movie's drag credentials: it's not only a film featuring cross-dressing, but a crossdressing film maker. This biopic of the cult director's life recalls a man who wouldn 't let incompetence stop him from making films, and whose fearless hijacking of cinematic good taste, was rivalled by his similar treatment of his girlfriend's wardrobe . The only niggle? Shot in black and white, the impact of the infamous pink angora sweaters is criminally muted.

Lipstick marks:

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Deserl(1991f) Dlr: Slephen Elllot Already a 90s camp classic, Priscilla has the dress code of your average Woolworth's Pick 'n' Mix. Funny and poignant, this tale of two transvestites and a transsexual, making their way across the outback, elevates drag to the most supreme of art forms. lt also has a spot-on idea of who we the audience want to see glammed up to the eyeballs: Mike never had such a fetching line in makeup

i ~film. i i (IJ Get an extra i

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28

Concrete, Wednesday, November 15, 1995

GOLDENEYE (12)

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BRITAIN (1995) Piercing action Dlr: Martlng Campbell Odeon • from Nov 24

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veryone's favourite spy is back. Yes our very own 007 once again graces the big screen and on his 17th outing rather considerately saves the Western world as we know it from the evil machinations of organised crime .

A lot has changed since the relatively simple days of the 60s, when the Ruskies· were the bad guys and everyone else was whiter than white.

With not only a new world order to contend with , politics having been replaced by evil profit making schemes, James seems to have his work cut out when the blacker than black , insane crim inally minded 'being' code-named 'Janus ' hijacks a super-secret NATO helicopter.

With swiftly changing political alliances , old opponents become new fri ends and almost overn ight allies become deadly foes .

Some th ings however, never change, since the

epicentre of this new mafia like a divining rod heads straight for Russia .

There are foes aplenty including Sean Bean, Robbie Coltrane as Valentin a ruthless weapons mogul and Alan Gumming (Boris Greshenko) playing computer boff extraordinaire.

The other essential ingredient is of course the redefined Bond 'Woman', with the film boasting the none to formidable Xenia Onatopp (Dutch model Famke Janssen), a veritable Black Widow of the assassination world , despatching many a man with a rather lethal trick with her thighs.

And finding herself as side-kick to the great man himself is Natalya Simonova (lzabella Scorupco) a very resourceful systems programmer.

Bond himself, as you may have noticed has also undergone a transformation . lrish-born Pierce Brosnan (an original contender for the role eight years ago) is a rather interesting choice for the womanising Bond, being a devout Catholic .

But along with Q , Miss Moneypenny and those exotic locations (including the Caribbean, the French Riviera and Peterborough ... !), perhaps Brosnan's Irish luck will return this film to the winning form of the Con nery originals .

TO WONG FOO.., THANKS FOR EVERYTHiNG! JUUE NEWMAR(PG) USA (1995)

Dragtastlc comedy Dlr: Beeban Kldron Cannon • now showing

JADE(18) USA (1995) Seedy thrill$r

Dlr: Willlam Fri&dkln Cannon • now showing

I

t used to be you'd cheer the goodies, hiss the baddies , and if you didn't drop your ice-cream you had a good time.

The world of Jade however, sees sweetie-pies a bit thin on the ground, and the character range extending from surly and bitter, through corrupt and unscrupulous, all the way to cold-blooded and downright murderous .

The potential for delicious seediness is unlimited here, and indeed the actors give it their best shot , Fiorentino's shopworn sultriness proving a particular eyeopener; but as a whole, the film never quite seems to gel.

The premise is sound enough.

Deputy District Attourney of San Fransisco, David Corelli ( David Caruso) is called to investigate a murder of a prominent local socialite, only to discover, that a close friend of his (Fiorentino) is the prime suspect.

The lid is gradually lifted on the less-than-savoury private lives of a I

I

number of characters, and it becomes apparent that the decay is all-pervading in the city, tainting even the most established of authority figures.

The unshakeable impression, however, is that the special effects department scarpered with the budget, leaving the milk money for making the script.

Not strictly true, of course, there are some fairly good lines floating around, but with so many pissed off people sloping around , their motivations aren't always made clear enough.

Every time we're about to get a handle on the film, it wriggles out of reach , Jesperately dashing off to try and be sleazy (the discovery of a murder victim's pubic hair collection is one trick it has up its sleeve) .

Having said that, while never entirely convincing in the longrun, Jade does have the audience gripped moment to moment with some stunning visuals and the 'good silver car takes on evil black thunderbird' chase scene was brilliant throwback to my Knightrider - adoring youth .

Vanessa Smith .I 0

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Concrete, Wednesday, November 15, 1995

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EVERY MONDAY SPIRITS£1 HOLSTEN PILS £1

& Jaks own lager £1.20 a pint A WALK IN THE CLOUDS (PG) USA (1995)

Heavenly romance Ofr: Alfonso Arau nnon •

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Nov 1'1

ot a film for cynics, the title is quite apt since the loving duo of Paul Sutton (Reeves) and Victoria (Aitana Sanchez-Gijon) spend much of the film on cloud nine.

Victoria in the throes of dread (dumped by her boyfriend who's got her pregnant) meets Paul on the run from an ill-fated marriage, and agrees to take his offer to pose as her husband for her highly traditionalist father.

New world meets old as the romance blossoms in the sensual, idyllic Mexico, culminating in the symbolic plentiful grape harvest. And that's about it really. Sensuality, dynamic scenery and good direction abound. Those of a romantic disposition will find it factor 10 on the 'feelgood' scale, and will probably come out feeling like they're walking in the clouds!

•Due to the distributor of this film changing the release schedule, the details in last issue were incorrect. The opening date is in fact November 17 not November 10, and it is showing at the Cannon not the Odeon. Sony!

29

DJ ancl vlcleo entertainment PLUS get your free admission tickets to Ritzy here Jumpin Jak's 98 Castle Meadow or Castle Street (between Dixons and Our Price Video) • 01603 764035 Open 6 days - 7 nights

•

30

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Concrete, Wednesday, November 15, 1995

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ome films are good by the merit of their screenplay. Some films are good because the actors put in superb performances . ~ob Roy, on the other hand, is good, simply oecause it gives us simpering girlies the chance to see Liam Neeson in a kilt.

Woarrrgghhh!

(Calm downScreen Ed) Ahem . Well , I suppose I should really reassure you that Rob Roy has far -Tore to offer the - Cinemagoer than that, although it has to be said that Liam's knees are the most wibblesome specimens of

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masculinity ever seen. (Please shut up! ScreenEd) The film is set in 18th Century Scotland, the home of Rob Roy MacGregor and his clan.

Rob Roy arranges to borrow money from the Marquis of Montrose in order that they might all survive the harsh Highland winter.

However, his trust in less honourable men makes him a pawn in a ruthless plot that threatens to destroy everything he knows.

But when honour no longer serves, there's only one thing that can save him, namely good old fashioned love, which comes in the form of his wife Mary (Jessica Lange). The all-star cast also includes John Hurt as the Marquis, Tim Roth as his scheming henchman and Eric Stoltz as Rob's closest friend Alan McDonald. There has been a glut of Highland heroes on the big screen lately; and for big time action and adventure, Mel Gibson's Braveheart is probably the better bet. But even so, Rob Roy has swash ing buckles aplenty, and the seemingly obligatory evil Englishmen are never very far away. And don't forget, of course, that Liam is much, much more of a hunk than Mel anyway! (I think you'd better go and take a cold shower - Screen Ed) Caroline Jenkinson

-~~A SEP~RATION .L FRANCE (1994) !ir (/!G} .. .. .· Domestlc dnuna ~''" , Dlr: Chrl'ttlan Vincent Cltfema flty ~. N9J!..,14. 1~?',

if 2 ne night at the cinema, Pierre (Daniel Auteuil) reaches out to take Anne's (lsabelle Huppert) hand .

She is annoyed and rebuffs him. He feels rejected .

This small moment begins the story of the disintegration of a couple .

La Separation is Christian Vincent's acclaimed film based on the best-sell ing novel by Dan Franck, who eo-wrote the screenplay.

Huppert and Auteuil are the aforementioned couple who have been together for several years and have had a child together, but have slowly started to fall apart. Pierre and Anne live in gay Paris, with their two year old child Louie.

After the late night at the cinema, it is clear that Anne has been distracted lately, and the small gulf between the couple seems to widen as time goes on .

Lunches, evenings out with friends; something is a little bit wrong .

One night after a party, Anne tells Pierre that she is in love with another man. Although

0

•

her admission is not surprising, Pierre's reaction is. He seems to accept this as a fact of life, and refrains from asking the more burning questions . However, as Anne continues to "see the other man", (we never see him) Pierre's feelings become more violent, and it begins to dawn on them, that something intangible has happened between them that can't be put right.

This seemingly commonplace story is told in a modern, sharp, intimate style, allowing two remarkable actors to express a complex range of emotions.

Leo Casartelli

You're right, the ceiling does need painting . _ ,r i_ • ._:

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Pulling lh pint This production of Cervantes classic brought to NAC by company Show of who are Britain's deaf/hearing theatre ensemble.

Blending sign and the spoken word way that allows the performers to explore characters and of a play in a way signed or spoken cannot do alone, As for Don Quixote well, it's a romantic set in the arid plains which backdrop for Don Quixote's fervent nation. You know, at windmills and all must have been thing to do with the And I'm sorry, but I to get it out of my tern ... did you hear Don Quixote's pet lt was called Donkey Hote! (That's it, definitely fired Carol/ne

T

he Newcastle Brown Ale National Comedy Network is not a name that rolls off the tongue very easily. Certainly not after a few bottles of the stuff anyway.

But it is now the largest chain of comedy clubs operating in Britain. In its brief three year existence, the Network has incorporated forty venues nationwide.

Previous stars to have toured include Mark Lamarr and Lee and Herring's Fist of Fun. Over the next nine months, it expected that over 100,000 people will laugh with the very best in British comic talent.

As part of these shows, AI Murray will be appearing at the Waterfront as the P Landlord. The Int1<>ru>nt1,<>nl on Sunday described the pint-pulling supercockney as "wonderful ··· warped and su funny." Past TV include the now defu The Word and

Clownin· around

•Louise Duffy dons a red nose and previe~s Nights at the Circus· the latest production from the UEA Drama Studio

E

arly December promises excitement at UEA in the form of a theatrical extravaganza at the Drama Studio. Based on the novel by Angela Carter and adapted for stage by UEA's own Vie Sage and Anthony Gash, Nights at the Circus brings us a combination of artistic flair, historical adventure, musical talent and emotional tension.

Set at the tu m of the twentieth century, the play follows its characters from the baroque splendour of England, through the fairy-tale horror of a travelling circus to turbulent Russia and the visions of the alienated wreckage of a future world.

At the centre lies our cockney heroine, Fevvers, a raunch, raucous 'bird-woman' whose mere presence can enchant even the toughest cynics. Her adversary is Jack Walser, a hardened American journalist who will go to extreme lengths to discover the truth - is she fact or fiction? The play takes us on their journey from London to the hectic environment of the circus in St Petersburg, where amongst the lives of clowns, educated apes, waltzing tigers and volatile trapeze artists, their relationship develops with unexpected consequences. Nights at the Circus is one of the most challenging events that the UEA Studio has seen to date. Spectators are guaranteed an evening of risque entertainment, aesthetic delight, and nail-biting tension with an explosive finale. Unmissable.

attract students to his inspired brand of humour. Apparently, if we spend more time at pub quizzes then we'll learn more than if we spend an afternoon down the library.

"No, I have respect for you; as a Pub Landlord I realize what a valuable asset you are to the world, • he says. "Why, some Tuesday afternoons, if it wasn't for you students, the only people I'd have in my bar would be the unemployed, the retired and other assorted layabouts."

Support on the night comes from the imaginatively titled Bastard Son of Tommy Cooper and from 25 year old Julian Barratt.

Julian secured · himself a place on this year's National Comedy Tour by beating 750 rivals to win the prestigious 1995 Open Mic Award.

Catch all three at the Waterfront on Sunday November 19, at 7pm.

Admission is £2.50.

Martin Plant

0

UVEL SHOP BOOK YOUR FLIGHTS, FERRY OR COACH NOW!!

If you•re going home for Christmas or just visiting friends make your booking now.

Wherever you•re going if it•s as near as Nottingham, or as far as Nepal.

Many places are already

Fully booked .,.

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Union House

UEA Norwich

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32

Concrete. Wednesday, November 15, 1995

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•Karen Jenkinson checks out Clerks, the latest in trendy films to rent on video

..

CLERKS (15) USA (1995) Shoperama Dir: Kevin Smith Video • Out to rent

H

mm m, Clerks, now what can I say about this little gem of a movie?

Well firstly, if you want a video that reminds you of your Saturday job you know, slow, boring, annoying , etc.

- then this is definitely the best choice ,Jiilf film for you .

Or, alternatively if you are having difficulty getting to sleep at night, then putting a copy of Clerks in your VCR and switching on is guaranteed to make you switch off immediately!

Y,es, you've guessed it - Clerks and me did not exactly hit it off.

Filmed in black and white, the film tries just a bit too hard to be trendy, even inserting scene headings as in Pulp Fiction, but it ends up looking more like an A Level media project.

Starring a bunch of little known actors, the film follows the story of Dante and his day as the clerk in a convenience store .

All sorts of bizarre and supposedly funny things happen to Dante on a day when he "isn't even supposed to be there", from

fi nding out his gi rlfriend has given 37 guys blow-jobs to having a drug dealer sell ing weed on his doorstep.

The story is prese nted almost like a 'fly-onthe-wall' documen tary, and the plot's progression relies rather too strongly on dialogue , especially the philosophical conversations of Dante (the passive one) and Randal (the aggressive one) which mostly concern Dante's two love

interests - Veron ica (the domestic one) and Katelyn (the sex kitten) .

However director Kevin Smith hasn't really relied on stereotypes - honest!

The grunge soundtrack is a bit too dated to save the day, and the odd smirksome moments do not compensate for the rest of the script.

The scenarios are completely unrealistic and definitely not funny (DO NOT believe the hype on the video box) .

Clerks has the aspirations of becomin g a cult movie, but trying is all this movie seems to be able to do. it's a case of In Bed With Madonna meets In Shop With Dante. it tries to be controversial , it tries to be trendy, it ends up being crap.

In short, the one time I'd recommend renting this video is if your only other option for an evening 's entertainment is slitting your wrists .

Yes it really is that bad.

2001 • A SPACE ODYSSEY (U) USA (1968) Sci-fi c lassic Dlr: Stanley Kubrick Video · Out to buy

T

his epic science-fiction classic is re-released to buy on November . _ 18. Made in 1968 by Stanley _Kubrick who, let's face it, is a genius, 2001 was made in collaboration with sci-fi guru Arthur C Clarke .

With this in mind it is no surprise that it is a cerebral, incredible elegant work t~at never fails to impress.

2001 ·- addresses a modest subject: the historY of humankind.

•lt .begins .with primeval man 's discovery ,of .;;,;ea.poris' and moves very grandly to · man in . space. ' This is done in the time it takes to edit from 'on'e image to the next: a bone to_a spaceship. _ Dave and his crew, alongside HAL, the intelligent and scary computer, are on a . ~ecret mission to Jupiter. However, HAL ~ .starts behaving very strangely.. : c: · Kubrick's film is a beautiful spectacle , with the opening sequence where the sun slowly rises over the Earth to the music of Strauss leaving you shaken by its raw cinematic power. The docking sequence to The Blue Danube is like ballet.

Kubrick's special effects capture the zero-gravity world of space with dizzying accuracy. Be prepared for the ending, which was once called " so much pap "

by Time Out's Geoff Andrew. In fact it is aspiritual re-birth of man leaving a " star child" to inherit the Earth -woman! · As you will have guessed, I consider 2001 to be a classic.

The culmination of its classical soundtrack, challenging script and inspired direction make 2001 a masterpiece. Buy it.

Charlie Gates

NO 11:

at·s

A

KNOCKOUT

0

L

ast week, thanks to the Union, Live wire was able to begin pla ns to rebuild Studio B. This means we will be able to broadcast a more comprehensive campus news service and it will ensu re more members can use -1 ;1e equipment more reg ula rly.

With this support from the Union -

and your help - we can maintain our status as the Number One campus radio station in the UK. We still need help with engineering , news reporting and reading, publicity, advertising and record reviewing. So please come up and get involved in Livewire as we hope to go from strength to strength now that we have the equipment to do so .

Now that you're listening to the Virgin Hot Top 40 Chart every Saturday, why not stay tuned for -I·

the Livewire Sports Show (Saturdays 3pm - 6pm). We will bring you all the sports news as it happens in activi ties as diverse as ice hockey and horse racing, in addition to the foo tball scores from all the leagues. We also provide a round-up of campus spo rt from during the week .

Even if you don't want to get actively involved in Livewire , we still run many social events and of course the biggest support you can give is by listening!

therwise known as 'Jeux Sans Frontieres', when it was in its European competition guise, 'it's A Knockout' was the biggest reason you had for staying in on a Friday night in the seventies.

Basically, the premise was very simple. Several teams of nutters from various towns around the country would compete against each other in games of 'increasing sill iness , which more often than not involved crazy foam, large plastic props and bear suits.

The games, however, paled into insignificance beside the towering talent that was Stuart Hall. The presenter and commentator of the show, he had a sadistic streak that was quite clearly apparent from the way in which he laughed hysterically at people falling over. Especially if they were in bear suits.

The national competition wa s good, but the European one was even better. Forget the Maastricht

Treaty, making people of all nationalities walk slippery poles above pits of crazy foam was the sure way towards European unity. I'll never forget that classic moment when one poor unfortunate - he was Italian I think - fell over, ending up legs astride the pole, with the family jewels obviously not intact. And guess what? He was in a bear suit! it's high time that someone decided to bring this show back - as long as it doesn't bear any resemblance to the ghastly doppleganger 'it's A Royal Knockout', which is oft credited for the current breakdown in royal relations.

Come on Stuart, you don't want to end your days doing footie commentaries for Radio Five Live! You want to be back in your rightful position, making the nation laugh along with you.

Bring the bear suits out of storage , someone!

Carolina Jenkinson

Concrete, Wednesday, November 15, 1995

•Matt Stocks, Nicola Da/ey and lain Hollands veg out with the very best of Cable TV...

T

he age of cable television has

arrived, so in the fearless spirit of investigative journalism we forsook the comforts of the LCR one Thursday evening to sample its delights. And we're not talking movies, sport, Playboy Channel or anything else you may actually want to watch. We're talking bog-standard, no extra cost television. We're talking Shopping Channel ....

MONDAY Cow Club Student Night Spirits HALF PRICE 11.30-00.30 £2 with UEA I NUS card

TUESDAY Fresh!

Current and classic chart & dance Spirits HALF PRICE 11.30-00.30 All bottled and draught beers and lagers half price (except Zoom) 10-2£2 FREE 8411.30

.

-_

WEDNESDAY

21.20 The evening begins with MTV. Unfortunately, the house is a tip, and the remote control is nowhere to be found. We are stuck watching Therapy?'s latest video; a haunting piece about a rapist. Not a good start.

The lead singer is nude and quite chubby. The evening's first debate begins: "Should fat people be allowed nude on TV?"

33

Seance Resident DJs Dave & AI 10pm-2am £2 or FREE 8411 with your Underground membership card Nov 15: Penal colony: Underground's very own Nov 22: La menege with guest DJ Simon J

Matt & lain: What's wrong? '!'!'1!'1!'!"'1_ _ _,_.,.,

21.27

FRIDAY

Control is located to huge sighs of relief. Tum to Vision Channel.

Great! Christian TV- just what's needed. Bloke called Stephen Housten and his lovely wife Jean sit round a kitchen table and tell us things. Stephen proclaims, "We have the legal right to defeat Satan!" and beams proudly. lain notes with concem that he never blinks. "Is there a Beelzebub channel?" asks Matt.

NEW NIGHT· NOV 24 From the RUMBLE organisation Hard Core & Jungle DJs RANDALL and Scooby Doo

SATURDAY Cow Club 9.30-2 £5

21.55 We see the light and tum over.

Find dodgy French chat show.

Notice that Eamonn Holmes is hiding in the audience. T,Y to translate using remnants of GCSE French, but handy phrases like "Where is the library?" and ·can I have a stamp?" do not appear. General agreement that chat shows are rubbish. Nicola shamefully admits to having appeared on an episode of Vanessa about fat children. She is ignored for rest of evening.

22.12 "Continental TV is only any good after midnight anyway,· lain points out. He is accused of being a pervert and ignored for rest of evening.

22.25 Weather Channel- exciting computer readout of meteorological data, updated every 30 seconds. "I can't understand this. I need little pictures of clouds and lightning," Nicola complains. "I need Wlncey Willis!" Matt exclaims, overenthusiastically. He is ignored for rest of evening.

22.31 To stave off boredom, we develop game based on predicting the next set of figures for humidity and windspeed.

Surprisingly addictive, although suggestions for variation based on strip poker are rejected.

... they're watching QVCII 22.48 avc Shopping ChannelMedallion Hour! Not just medallions though; also items for deaning them. Fascinating stuff.

23.00 Schedule for avc throughout night. Decide Big Boys Toys at 3am looks intriguing. Start of Prima Clean Hour. Debate as to whether presenter is wearing wig. Drunk American bloke wanders on to demonstrate deaning products.

23.18 Helen from Edinburgh phones up. She wants to know if she can use Prima Clean in her caravanette. "I've bought all your other products. They're brilliant!" she squeals. "She's a Prima Clean groupie!" Nicola exclaims, dismayed.

23.39 Find most disgusting trousers in history on Country Music Network; a tight snakeskin affair modelled by rubbery-hipped cowboy. "You'd sweat buckets in those,· Nicola notes with concem. lain- "At least he hasn't resorted to shoving cucumbers down his trousers ... like me."

23.55 NBC so-called 'Super' Channel, featuring cyding. Nicola gets all excited and starts talking about lycra-clad thighs. We note that n<>-one is actually there watching the cycling. In fact, there are more people in our lounge watching it than at the race itself. Does this say something about us? Not even the cydist's mums could be bothered to watch this. A low point in the evening. The beer and pizza is finished - only the thought of Big Boys Toys keeps us going.

00.10 Discovery Channel aka Animals Ripping Each Other Umb From Umb Channel. Tonight ifs komodo dragons. One finds a dead deer and starts gorging on its intestines. The dragon actually sticks its entire head inside the carcass. lain's housemate Emma wanders in; "Oh my lord, it's eating the fur.

It'll get hairballs."

00.26 Tum to Family Channel. lncoherent drunken discussion on inbreeding ensues.

00.35 We have come full circle; MTV is playing the Therapy? video again. "Ooh, I know how this one ends," says Nicola.

00.49 Depression descends with shocking revelation that Weather Channel is simply very boring, games or no games.

I,Couis )larcltesi I Next to RITZY Tom bland CELAR BAR AVAILABLE F'CR • PRIVATE PARTIES

01.02 Country Music Networkdifferent song, different video, and yet the trousers are still there.

01.29 Matt cannot contain himself any longer. He wants fame. He wants to be on telly. He rings up QVC with a question about Prima Clean and holds long conversation with operator.

Distraught, he puts phone down. "I can't go on tally. lt's nc;>t live. lt's all on tape." Our hopes have been shattered.

01.39 Give up. Even Big Boys Toys holds no appeal for us now.

Wander home drunk, disillusioned, depressed. Exactly the same as if we'd been to the LCR, in fact ....

£50

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UMITED BY YOUR INSECURITY AND NEGATMTY? 04ANGE YOUR PERSPECnVE! Su~Workshop 26 Novemberlpm- 6pm Topics Include: Positive thinking, c:onfldence building, assertNeness, change.

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34

Concrete, Wednesday, November 15, 1995

The

even

I~ ~ ·~

-·.~

8001(SHELF . sponsored by Waterstone's On 'The Street' at UEA, Tel 453625, open weekdays 9-5.30, Tuesdays 10-5.30, Saturdays 11 -4.

Also at London Street, Norwich, Tel632426, open weekdays 9-7, Tuesdays 10-7, Saturdays 9-6. .

'"-~~-~.Y..v.~v ....._·-~~~w_,,..__~--

•With a full page book extravaganza, we review everything from JFK to fairy tales AMERICAN TABLOID James Ellroy

T

his week I will look at an established author in the crime-thriller genre, James Ellroy has written severa l bestsellers such as White Jazz and Black Dahlia . His new bestseller American Tabloid is Ellroy's fictional version of the Kennedy assasination, just as Oliver Stone did a film version with JFK. SNOW WHITE; BLOOD RED. Eds: Ellen Datlew & Terri Wind ling ·.

T

his collection of contemporarised -· retellings of traditional fairy tales is blurbed as "a boundless expanse of nightmares, lusts and fables for the grown-up child in us all. " Prepare to have your Disneyesque ideals of damsels in distress and noble, handsome princes swept away: I doubt that having read these stories you will

ever look upon such childish bedtime stories in the same way again.

For example , did you know that Jack (of the Beanstalk fame), was actually a bankrupt lord who couldn't stand his wife?

And that he was having a biton-the-side with the Giant's missis and fathered her child ?

And was Snow White really an abandoned child brought up by seven dwarves to perform their chores and sexual favours?

And how did she end up in a rampant love scene , not with

• FRESHER PRESSURE: HOW TO SURVIVE AS A STUDENT Aidan Macfarlane & Anne McPherson .

E

-

ssay deadlines are approaching. Another plateful of pasta for supper is not an attractive meal. You 've already drunk your grant at the bar.

If this sounds like you then it might be helpful to read the

the prince, but with a jealous wife who then murdered and buried her in the back garden?

Snow White, Blood Red bring s together eighteen more of these classic tales, retelling them in an enchanting, provocative and truly chilling form reminiscent of such stories by Angela Carter. lt is a captivating anthology, positively shattering our in nocent images of Snow White , Cinderella and many of the other inhabitants of Fairyland .

Katherine Crockett

•••• • *•••••••

advice given in this new book. I doubt it will be very useful , but it may be just a little bit.

The main problem with this book is that the authors are too distant from the reality of student life. I don't need to be told how to bake a potato.

Neither do I want to keep a 'bright thoughts' diary, or be told what my attitude towards drugs should be.

If it wasn't for the witty

® • • • • • • •

• • • • •

insights from actual students, about topics ranging from sport to relati ons hips to making friends, then it would have been binned straight away.

Fortunately this book has helped me though . I was able to relieve some of my fin ancial pressures by selling it to the second-hand bookshop for a couple of quid .

Martin Plant

Student discount 10% off reccomended retail price of all course books Mon - Sat 8am - 6pm Sun llam- 4pm 4 Dove Street Norwich NR21DE (20m from Tesco) Tel & Fax: 01603 630636

This is a novel filled with crooked characters and it is hard to find a hero with honest and sincere intentions.

The picture drawn of FBI boss JE Hoover is that of a perverted power-sick old man, JF Kennedy is not concerned with other things than women and old Joe Kennedy is portrayed as an old gangster (which he was, in fact) .

Set in between these reallife people Ellroy places his

T

he unifying theme of the first of these books is a temple discovered at Bassae in Greece.

The story begins in the British Museum and we hear the tale of the intrepid aristocratic explorers who uncovered the ruined temple in 1811 . We are gradually introduced into the world of the ancients through such fi gures as Byron , Asterix , Plato and Ben-Hur. The author raises many of the issues associated with the modern study of the classics . I was sceptical about the value of the book but found it informative and readable .

fictional characters. The three main players are involved with the Mob, the Feds and the Agency (CIA), and are all looking for a piece of the action.

The book starts 1958 and builds up to the Kennedy assasination in Dallas in 1963.

Ellroys pictures the period as one where the Red Scare and Cuba made the establishment and the Mafia unite in a wicked game.

However, it attempts too much . lt will be equally useful for a philosophy, art history or politics student as it deals with each of these areas in equal lack of depth.

The second book steams through the history of Western politics in less than fifty pages . We begin (again) in Ancient Greece and travel through Imperial Rome , medieval Europe and into the modern era.

This is just the first half of the book. In the second , the eternal political questions are dealt with in an intelligent and succinct way.

Th is series of books also includes the forthcom · ing introductions to Law, Literary Theory, Buddhism and Economics.

Although brief, they are recommended as we ll-wri tten , entertaining, and on the night before an exam , perhaps life-saving .

Milo Taylor

• • • • • • • •• • • • • • • • • • • •• • • • • • • • • •• THE JAVA MAN Sean Martin Blairs

T

here are many ways to solve a crime - but none so strange as this ... " proclaims the front cover, and so far the blurb sounds quite promising .

Set in Dublin, the story opens with the brutal murder of a known IRA family.

Sectarian motives are suspected , until Detective Christopher 'Cowboy' Johnson has a sudden vision of the killings , and real ises he has a psychic link with the killer.

Perhaps the description of 'Cowt:oy' as wealthy and good-looking , and yes, complete with Porsche , adoring model girlfriend and Red Indian Chief spirit guide should have warned me that I was rapidly entering clicheville.

This I could have lived with had the plot contained any surprises , or the characters been more substantial than Postman Pat. The thriller equivalent of Mills and Boon, 'The Java Man ' is dull, tedious and instantly forg ettable.

Miranda Luckett

Underneath the plot the book contains all the ingredients a good crime story needs - sex, violence and foul language. lt is a cleverly built story and is in my mind just as valid a portrait of events as Stone's JFK. If you're into crime-novels you would have read Ellroy before, but if you haven't, then this is a good point to start.

Christian Schou KILLING TIME Murray Smith

M

urray Smith's latest novel, Killing Time, is launched this month following the success of his highly acclaimed The Devi/'s Juggler and The Stone Dancer.

If, like myself, you usually view a two page list of characters with relevant intelligence and military titles, along with a similar key to abbreviations and military jargon as a bad sign , then you'd be wrong here !

Your perseverance will be well rewarded by a tense and rapidly moving thriller of international terrorism interwoven with Smith's terse, yet subtle humou r.

The enigmatic James Gant and ruthless Zina Farouche, young recruits trained by the British and Iranian intelligence, step into a diplomatic cauldron which tests to the limit the loyalty and obedience of these intriguing individu als.

If you've missed Murray Smith so far, this is as good a place to start as any, and even if you normally avoid spy novels, this is a must!

You'll be hooked from the moment you open the title page .

Julia Bennett

•· rn ,,

the next edition:

Look out for a spectacular giveaway where you can win some of the _ books we have reviewed this - autumn.

- ?

·-- - - - - -· - --

-

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Concrete, Wednesday, November 15, 1995

35

The

11

event

encore! ~oMfETWTmow

TmME

H

ey, how would you like to be able to go and see any film you wanted, for absolutely free?

Not just once, not twice, not even three times, but for as many times as you and a mate can manage to get in during the year!

Well, here's your chance, courtesy of that top cinematic chain MGM/ Cannon, and those absolutely divine people at Beatwax (Hello Pete!).

They've got an exclusive Gold Pass to give away; and the Brucie bonus is that it will get you and your mate/ mum/

THE UNION SUPE

little brother/dog into any (yes, any!) MGM/Cannon cinema in the country for FREE! In fact, the only thing it doesn't cover is the price of the popcorn! Whey-hey!

And all you have to do is answer one insy-winsy question. Which is: In the movie W/thna/1 and I,

where Is Uncle Monty's country house?

There, that's not too hard, is it? Now, all you have to do is stick your answer on a postcard , together with your name, address and university ('cos this is a national competition, run in conjunction with other student

Beatwax, The Old Gramophone Works, 32 Kensal Road, London, W10 5BZ. Remember, you've got to be in to win. So be in, and er... win! Oh, by the way, if you don't win, fret ye not, 'cos the Cannon in Norwich does do some super student discounts, and runs a Student Loyalty Scheme as well. So even if you can't get in for free, you can still save a few of your hard-earned pennies!

RKET®

Grant-st-ret-ching is our business EEC Wine Red & White :£1.99 Cape Wine Red &White :£2.99 Heineken SOOml 69p Two Dogs Alcoholic Lemonade 99p MD 20-20 18.7cl :£1.29 Water 330ml 19p Water 21itre 42p Lemonade 3Sp White Sliced Bread 39p Brown Sliced Bread 49p Opening Hours Mon-Fri 9

Baked Beans 42Sg 19p Tuna 18Sg 3Sp Spaghetti SOOg 49p Milk (pint) 29p :£1.99 Orange Juice 21itre :£1.99 Pizza 1211 Persil One Wash 33p Filled ·Rolls and Sandwiches Fresh Daily Medicines & Toiletries. ·Spirits Fresh baltis now available - 9, Sat 9 - 1, Sun 11 - 3

4

The juices get flowing as two lesbian killers stalk the bleak Merseyside landscape.

MGM CANNON Some or all of the films below will be showing over the next fortnight. For exact listings and times, :_. ,please ring the cinema.

Jade (18) Otherwise known as "Hang on, isn't this Basic Instinct by another name?". Still, irs got David (NYPD Blue) Caruso in it.

To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything' Julie Newmar (PG)

Patrick Swazye and Wesley Snipes prove that when the going gets tough, the tough wear silk knickers.

Clueless (12) Jane Austen writes: "If anyone else dares rip Emma off again, I'll sue the bun off them. UNDERSTAND?!!" .;.

Apollo 13 (PG) If Tom Hanks is expecting another Oscar, he can s•d off.

Under Siege 2 (1 8) Probably second only to 'Brief Encounter', this is one of the best train movies of the century. Steven Seagal- a modern day Marlon Brando- shows his pedigree. in a film series which should run and run. e Bridges of Madison County (12) Clint Eastwood and Meryl Streep give a bellyful of pathos in wrinklies romance

I

I

Species (l8) Don't judge a book by its cover. irs whars inside that counts. Unfortunately, in this case irs a rampaging nymphomaniac mutant mixture of human and alien DNA.

I I

ODE ON

~

Some or all of the films listed below will be showing over the next fortnight. For exact listings and times, please ring the cinema.

t ~

i I ~

I I

•t I I I

' ~

t

_JA Walk In The Clouds (PG) Keanu Reeves in acting anempt shocker - one not to be missed.

Crimson Tide (15) Denzel Washington and Gene Hackman star in submarine thriller.

Nine Months (12) Hugh Grant finds things a real mouthful in this Divine comedy.

Braveheart (15) Mel Gibson dons his Sconish outfit and anacks the nasty English lwho are all evil and overtly camp of course). He loses. Ha Ha. -Pocahontas (U) Sweet. charming, and soon to be a classic. Bring a sick bag .

Mortal Kombat (15) Film of the year... if you like cock.

French Kiss (121 Meg Ryan and Kevin Kline exchange kisses and body fluids in a warm, empty comedy.

CINEMA CITY Bunerfly Kiss (18) Tues Nov 14- Thurs Nov 16 - 5.45pm & Fri Nov 17Sot Nov 18- 8.15pm & Sun Nov 19 - 7.30pm (matinee on Tues Nov 14 - 2.30pm)

Bad Bugs Bunny (U) Fri Nov 17 - 5.45pm New compilation of Merrie Melody cartoons featuring the endlessly popular rabbit.

Crones (18) Fri Nov 17 - 11pm Low- budget Mexican vampire movie makes Tom Cruise's effort seem like the tooth fairy.

EdWood Fri Nov 24 - 7pm Portrayal of the life of the world's worst film maker.

He is to film making what the Pope is to marathon shagging.

Clerks Tues Nov 28 - 7pm Tribute to cashiers everywhere: a day in the life of two counter clerks. More amusing than you would imagine.

LIVE IN THE HIVE - UEA

Swallows and Amazons (U) Sat Nov 18 - 2.30pm Nauseating children's classic adventure story following the antics of a bunch of nippers·in their sailing boat.

Blue Week (15) Mon Nov 20 - 5.45pm Understated Finnish romance.

The Bait (18) Sat Nov 18- 5.45pm & Sun Nov 19- Spm & Mon Nov 20 - 8.15pm & Tues Nov 21- Thurs Nov 235.45pm & 8.15pm (matinees Tues & Thurs at 2.30pml Award-winning French portrayal of adolescent amorality, based on a true story of three little brats who carry out a savage crime for money.

Chungking Express (12) Fri Nov 24- Sat Nov 25 - 5.45pm & Sun Nov 267.30pm & Tues Nov 28 - Weds Nov 29 - 8.15pm & Thurs Nov 30 - 5.45pm(Matinees Tues Nov 28 at 2.30pml Back-street banking . Two lovelorn policemen play hide the sausage (not with each other) in the shady areas of Hong-Kong in this romantic comedy.

The Usual Suspects (18) Fri Nov 24- 8.15pm & 11pm & Sat Nov 25- 8.15pm & Mon Nov 27 - 8.15pm & lues Nov 28- Wed Nov 29 - 5.45pm & Thurs Nov 20 - 8.15pm Five fiddly felons, fortuitously fumble their way into the same jail. They become cohorts and cunningly conceive a crime.

Tales of Bea.trix Poner (U) Sat Nov 25 - 2.30pm Ballet ... men in leotards. Love 'em.

The Gift Tues Nov 28 - after 9pm Local bands.

THEATRE ROYAL

LCR - UEA

DonGiovani Tues Nov 14 & Thurs Nov 16- 7.15pm Beautiful music, sumptuous scenery, and a free second viewing for anyone who can make out the words. £5-£37.50

Australian Doors Sun Nov 19 - 7.30pm Copy band retum once more, adding sweet fanny adams to the original repertoire. £9.

La Boheme Weds Nov 15 & Sat Nov 18 - 7.15pm See above. £5-£37.50

Jools Holland Fri Nov17 As seen on TV..... £8.50

Owen Wingra.ve Fri Nov17 see above (and above that). £5-£27.50

THE WATERFRONT

Singing in the Rain Wed Nov 22 - Sat Nov 25 & Mon Nov 27 - Thurs Nov 30- 7.30pm (matinees - Thurs Nov 23 & Sat Nov 25 & Thurs Nov 30 - 2.30pml Don't miss this all-splashin', toe-tappin' musical spectacular. Inspired, memorable songs include, You were meant for me, and, You are my lucky star .

WAHEY! £3-£27.50.

UNION FILMS Outbreak Thurs Nov 16 - 7pm A lethal virus threatens to wipe out the USA in 48 hours. Dustin Hoffman is the man with the meat who has to dash our hopes.

Boys on the Side Fri Nov 17 - 7pm Oestrogen-packed female buddies movie.

Mad Dogs and Englishmen Tues Nov 21 - 7pm Liz Hurley plays an upper-crust heroin addict, who strikes up a relationship with a rough biker. But does she turn out to be a sucker?

Rob Roy Thurs Nov 23 - 7pm Liam Neeson strides through the prickly Sconish bracken wearing a kilt (the traditional way) and a pained expression.

Loop Guru & Triba.l Drift Wed Nov15 Complete with special offer - sa.ve £2 when you buy two Loop Guru tickets at the same lime for only £10!

Otherwise, irs £6 adv. (Available at UEA box office only).

EAST COAST JAZZ FES1\VAl

MADDERMARKET

[The East Coost Jazz fesli'lal is at the Norwich Arts Centre)

Henry V Fri Nov 24 - Sat Dec 2 Harry V kicks some French bun at Agincourt. although there may be more to it than that.

FriNov17 Julian Joseph Trio Innovative young jazz pianist. £8-£9 Sa1Nov 18 Jazz Brunch Dove Pullin/Steve Chalk Quartet. Free.

ALSO Salsa- Orquesta La Clove £5 .50-£6.50

A Canterbury Tale (U) Sun Nov 26 - Spm A baHy but engaging piece of wartime nostalgia .

Prince of the Hit Parade (15) Mon Nov 27- 5.45pm The sideburns are getting longer and the funk is gening stronger in this tribute to late '50s and early '60s Finnish pop.

A-Z of Drugs WedsNov29 James Poulter and Graham Duff continue their amoral crusade.

LIVE IN THE HIVE MrMethane Tues Nov 21 - after 9pm More anal shennanigans from the bony burp master. Featuring special guests - The Blood Brothers self mutilation show.

UEA STUDIO

Sun Nov19 Carol Kidd in Concert at the Stakis Hotel - 3pm. £8£9.

ALSO Martin Taylor's Spirit of Django at the Stakis HoteiBpm. £8-£9.

Weds Nov22 Mick Beck's Something Else. £3.50-£5 .

NORWICH ARTS CENTRE

Honestly Thurs Nov 23 - Fri Nov 24 - 2pm & 7.30pm Fetishism and obsession are the main themes behind a maniacal new comedy. £3.50 - £6.

FDN go ska with COLONEL HATHI AND SKUNK. £3.50£4.50.

THE WATERFRONT

THE WILDE CLUB

The National Comedy Network Feat Sun Nov19 AI Murray as The Pub Landlord + Bastard Son of Tommy Cooper+ Julian Barran. £3 .50

[The Wilde Club is at Norwich Arts Centre)

NORWICH ARTS CENTRE

Sidi Bou Said MonNov20 With support from Half Time Oranges, Hypnotize and that top band Navigator. £3.50adv/£4 door.

Nigel Planer and Henry Normal Thurs Nov23 An evening of unmitigated musings and mirth. £6£7.

Thrush Puppies MonNov27 With support from Luster. £3.50adv/£4 door.

Concrete, Wednesday, November 15, 1995

37

-

RITZY Mondays- Rrst Degree Admission SOp before midnight with student ID. 9pm -2am.

Wednesdays- Cool and Cosual Admission £l.SO before 11pm, £2 after. 9pm- 2am.

Fridays- Fast Trax Admission £3 before 10.30pm, £4 after. 9pm -2 am.

Saturdays - Furious Fun Admission £4 before 10.30pm, £5 after. 9pm - 2am.

PEPPERMINT PARK Mondays - Student Party Night Admission £1 all night. 9pm - 2am.

Wednesdays - Midweek Party Admission SOp all night. 9pm - 2am.

Fridays - Frantic Fridays Admission - £1 before 11pm. 9pm - 2am.

Saturdays - The Big One Admission £2 all night. 9pm - 2am.

THE WATERFRONT Fr1Nov17 late lunch + Milky Lunch residents Upskllrs- OffYer Face. 9pm- 6am Admission £9 - £10.

SatNov18 ThattherYears Upstairs- Meltdown. 9pm - 1.30am Admission £3 - £3.50.

Fr1Nov24 OffYer Face- Dope on Plos1lc. 9pm- 4am.

Admission £6.SO - £7.50.

SatNC'/25

Melldown Upstairs - live music with Solar Race + Nose + Compact Pussycat. 9pm- l.30om. £3.SO- £3.

UEA LCR Thursdays - The LCR If thafs all you can think of to do on a Thursday night, then thafs all you deserve. Nevertheless, nothing short of a nationalinstiMion.

Admission £2.50- Term passes available. 9pm1.30am.

Sat Nov 18 - Section n Sabre Tooth Megodog Admission £7.50.

Sat Nov 2s - Section n Out to lunch Admission £7-£8.

WedNov22 La Menege with guest DJ Simon J Admission £2 or FREE B411pm with your 'Underground' membership cord. 10pm-2am.

Fridays -All excHing rte!N night!

So new, even we don't yet know what HIs! Admission £4. 9.30pm- 2am Saturdays - Caw Oub. Pumping house and garage.

Admission £5. 9.30pm- 2am.

MANHATTANS Wednesdays - Uplift student night.

Free before llpm, £1 after. 9pm - 2om.

Saturdays - Club Dance Admission £2. 10pm - 2am.

NORWICH ARTS CENTRE SatNC'I2S OffYerFoce £4.50- £S.

ZOOM Mondays - Ct:1w Club, student night.

Admission £2 with ID. 10pm - 2am.

Tuesdays- Fresh!

Current and classic chart and donee.

Admission free before 11.30pm, £2 thereafter. 10pm -2am.

WedNov1S

Penal Colony.

Admission £2 or FREE B411pm with your 'Underground' membership cord. 10pm-2am.

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eJane Horner reports on the latest craze for football fanatics THE early nineties witnessed the rapid growth of the football fanzine. At one point new t itles were being released every week, and no self-respecting supporter would dream of being seen at a match without a copy sticking out of a back pocket.

However, over the last couple of years, the fa nzine 's popularity has begun to wane, and one ·~ason for the decline in readership is undoubtedly the advent of the interne!.

Now, anyone who has access to ' the net' can help them selves to a huge variety of football -related information at the touch of a button, and the good news is that you don't need to be a computer genius to enter this soccer fan's parad ise, you jus t nee d k n o w whe re to look.

This is the footballing equ ivalent of the Yellow Pages, listing virtually every relevant site on the interne!.

From here you can get to the web page of any British club which has one, as well as to many other foreign clubs and national teams.

Every Premiership club in England has at least one interne! page (West Ham has fo ur!), as do most other league teams. Each site conta ins the obligatory player profiles, match reports, transfer rumours and club statistics, which are only interesting to fans of that particular club, but it is the fanzine-style material which makes up the rest of the site that is worth a look and a giggle.

Naturally, local rivalry strongly influences

tions to an already long list. However, t h

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people who run this site haven ' t limited their animosity to their neighbours. There is also a page entitled "Silly Football Lightbulb Jokes", which includes one for every single club in the top division. You know the sort of thing: ' How many Manchester United fans does it take to change a lightbulb? Two- one to change the lightbulb, and the other to drive up from London' They even take a dig at their own club: ' How many Wimbledon fans does it take? Both of them!'

One of the most entertaining football pages is the Tottenham Hotspur one, which is run by a postgraduate student at UEA. Pat Barrow took over the site during the summer, after it was set up in August 1994, and it is one of the most accessed web pages based at UEA, with an average of300 readers each day.

Along with the usual club information, this site aims to put people living abroad in contact with other Spurs fans living nearby, so that groups throughout the world can meet up and watch games together on satellite. Pat described the aim of the Tottenham pages as being "to get information to Spurs fans who have no other way of getting hold of it. Foreign papers only give the score of the game if you're lucky, whereas while the matches are in progress, I update the score as soon as possible after each goal".

Most club pages have a mailing list which you can join through email and, once enrolled, you can mail comments to everyone else on the list, and read what other list members have to say. The Spurs list has even set up its own football team, the Internet Hotspurs, and are busy preparing for their upcoming derby clash with their Arsenal counterparts, the Cybury Gooners.

When the Spurs pages were set up originally, the club itself was contacted to see if the pages could be given official recognition. Unfortunately, Tottenham refused to endorse the site, which is a situation similar to most club pages. According to Pat, some have even been forced to close, as their respective clubs have threatened to take legal action unless they stop operating.

One exception to this is Everton, which has an official site as we ll as an unofficial one. However, on closer inspection, the official pages read more like a club programme than the club programme itself1 The only point of interest is their merchandising catalogue, where you can actually order products on the net!

Apart from specific club pages, there are several sites which provide up-to-date worldwide football news, including one run by the Daily Mail (http://soccernet.com/), along with manywhichare theanorak's idea of heaven - one claims to include information and statistics on over 60,000 players!

A surprising number ofpages are run by UEA students. As well as the Tottenham Hotspur page, Reading and Norwich City are also based here, as are two of the more eccentric sites.

The Strange Soccer Story Collection (http://sys.uea.ac.uk/ -u9338799/story.html) contains some very bizarre tales, including one about a Cambridgeshire League match a couple of years ago. The game was abandoned after ten minutes due to fog so dense that visibility was reduced to less than half the length of the pitch. After the players had been sitting in the changing room for 20 minutes, one team realised their goalkeeper was missing- he was still outside guarding his goal, and just thought his team were playing so well that the opposition

hadn 't been able to get the ball anywhere near him!

Oliver Carruthers, a th ird year EAS student, set up the Eric Cantona home page (http://www.uea.ac.uk/ - u9320113/ec.htrnl) in February, providing a place for worshippers of the errant Frenchman to air their views and express their undying devotion. However, at first a \ot of people thought he actually was Cantona, and he had several girls mailing him to say they loved him, and asking him for autographs!

At the moment, this is the only site to be solely dedicated to a Premiership player, but with new sites opening all the time, it surely won't be long before other fans get in on the act and honour their heroes in the same fashion. It also seems that

more clubs will go the way ofEverton and open official pages, as several have expressed this intention.

Nonetheless, even without these additions, the interne! provides everything you could possibly want to know about football and a lot more besides, and is often quite a bit more accurate and up-to-date than the daily newspapers.

Even if you're only mildly interested in our national game, there's bound to be something there to make you smile, and if you're a devoted fan, you'll probably soon find yourself unable to function without checking out your club's transfernews at least once a day ,just in case they've finally signed that striker the manager has been after for weeks ...

m rch wi 11 Norwich

One fan gives his view of the Canaries' recent performances

WITH the demonstration after the ga me agains t Crys t al Pa lace, the ' apath etic' Norwich City fans hav e once ag ain shown t hat they have more passion for t heir club than many outside Norfolk give t hem credit for, w rites Adam Aiken The "Chase Out" chants were at fu ll volume because, yet again, all the Chairman's close-season talk about buying quality new players in

the hope of winning promotion has proved to be j ust hot air. Fans are demanding to know when Robert Chase is going to start keeping his promises, and why he won't put his money where his mouth is.

The last few matches have been relatively satisfactory, although whether City would have lost at Huddersfield ifDean Windass had been signed is a different matter we're talking about a player who scored more than 20 goals last season as a makeshift striker, and it is common knowledge that Martin O'Neill wants him in his team.

Unfortunately, Chase does not like people who have their own views and he seems determined not to offer his support on this one.

After all, O'Neill is only the manager ...

The second half of the game

against Huddersfield was particularly enjoyable, with Ashley Ward scoring twice to bring the Canaries back from the dead, only for the Terriers to win it in the last eight minutes with Bryan G unn wa tching in agony as the ball squirmed away from him. Un like many fa ns , I fe lt he was unlucky it looked a lot worse on the television, honest!

T he trip to Bradford City last Tuesday, for the Coca Cola Cup replay, was terrific. There were fewer •

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fans than for the visit to Huddersfield which is understandable, because West Yorkshire is a bit of a trek from Norwich, especially for the second garneinonlyfour days and with extended highlights being shown on Anglia.

However, I know of at least two Ci ty fans who pleaded poverty on Tuesday morni ng , only to confess the followi ng day that they wished they had extended their overdrafts. "You only

get one game like that a season" admitted one rueful supporter who had opted to stay at home.

The match was so full of action that most of it is justa blur now, but it went something like this: l-0 up (Ward); 1-1;2- 1 up(theboyWard again); 2-2; 3-2 (this time Gunn does drop a clanger); Robert Fleck shows that even he is sometimes a mere mortal with a dire penalty miss; 3-3 (Ward gets his hat-trick and sends the match into extratime); and finally Fleck and the once-again superb Andy Johnson knock in goals number fo ur and five for an unforgettable win.

Less memorable was the assortment of missiles hurled at the car, and our hastily rearranged route as we realised that five large Bradford fans had taken a dislike to our scarves flying from the windows and were

getting rather close, and the traffic lights were not going to change in time. Cheers lads, thanks for making us feel so welcome.

This Saturday saw Crystal Palace visit 'Carra Rud'. To be honest, there is very little to say about this except that Andy Johnson scored with a cracking header just before he was carried off. At the time of writing the extent of the inj ury is unknown, but Norwich fans will be hoping that it is not serious because he has been an absolute revelation this season.

And so to the demo - tempers were raised even more when the rumour spread that O'Neill had resigned, but he came out personally to put the record straight. How long he can put up with such an egotistical chairman though, is open to question ...

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Concrete, Wednesday, November 15, 1995

39

Sport

ROLLING 0 BOTH home and away UEA's sports teams are proving unbeatable.

In the block fixtures against Hert-

fordshire and North London, only one result failed to go the way ofthe Norwich teams.

Team of the Day against Herts was the ladies' hockey team, who won their game 6-1. Meanwhile, the volleyball club picked up where it

left off, with both the men's and women's teams winn ing their matches easily.

At North London, the netballers were the stars of the show, winning 48-13.

Not to be outdone, the women's hockey team played another freescoring game, taking apart the North Londoners to notch up a 6-0 victory .

However, the I 00% record disappeared withtherugby 1st's unfortunate loss. The second team more than made up for this, with Steve Tatlor scoring two and converting six out of the seven tries the team scored in their 4 7-I 0 drubbing ofthe Hackney-based side.

More goal-fests are promised today (Wednesday), when Luton visit Norwich.

MAULING GLORY Men's Rugby

THE men's team served up a good start to the season, beating both Hertfordshire (6-0) and North London (5-1)

"THIS was the best team performance since I have been playing at UEA," was how wlnger Nick Ollver described his team's win over Hertfordshire.

A game of storming runs, deter-

Goalden Girls!

Netball HAVING had three BUSA matches cancelled, UEA's netballers finally played their first game of the season on Wednesday, against the University of North London, writes Joanna Gill.

Yet even this match looked at one point as if it wouldn't go ahead, with North London being unable to find two qualified umpires. Fortunately, UEA's Georgia Smith vol-

unteered her services as an umpire, to assure the game could be played.

From the start, UEA grabbed control and took an early nine goal lead thanks to some solid defending and good shooting. Play was fast but fluid, and after quarter-time UEA were clearly out to enjoy themselves, scoring as many goals as possible along the way.

Sharon Pavey, last year's solid Goal Shooter, came on for the remaining three quarters ofthe match, and proved what a vital part she

plays in high-scoring games, scoring some excellent long-range goals. She and team mate Susie Duncan proved an unstoppable combination as the scoreline rocketed to 33-7 by three-quartertime.

By this time it was all over as far as North London were concerned. Good play down the court ensured a 48-13 fmal score, and new defensive recruits, who had hardly played together before, were exceptional.

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mined tackles and fair play ended with a stunning 20-5 victory for UEA, and the winning margin could easily have been a lot more.

During the first ten minutes, Hertfordshire appeared to be digging in well and looked as if they might be capable ofholding off the threatened UEA onslaught, especiallyaftertworuns from lan Nicholl ended in disappointment.

The honour of opening the scoring eventually fell to scrum half Matt Delaney, who wormed his way over a packed tryline. This was easily converted to give the home side an early lead.

Shortly afterwards, though, UEA were caught off-guard when Hertfordshire counter attacked. A chip was brought down by their fly half after he eluded two opposition players, but this was to be the end of Hertfordshire's scoring.

THE transition from two wheels to running shoes proved no problem for UEA's cyclists on November 5, with two members of the club taking gold and bronze for their efforts in the Ipswich Duathlon, writes Andy Tyler.

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BUSA BLOCK FIXTURE- 1/11/95 UEA V HERTFORDSHIRE

FOOTBAU. Men's 1st 2-1

HOCKEY Men's 1st 6-3 Women's 1st 6-1

BADMINTON Men's 1st 7-2 WINTER TENNIS Men 5-1 Women 6-0

RUGBY Men's 1st 20.5 VOUEYBALL Men 3-0 Women 3-1

BUSA BLOCK FIXTURE- 9/11/95 NORTH LONDON V UEA HOCKEY

NETBALL

WINTER TENNIS

Men's 1st 5-3 Women's 1st 6-0 Women's 2nd 8-0

Women's 1st 48-13

Men 5-1

RUGBY Men's 1st 13-22

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WOMEN'S BASKETBALL: The UEA team remain un· beaten in the Norfolk Ladies' League. Their last three matches have been tough but they emerged as victors In all, beating Kol Joy All stars 59·50, defeating the aggressive NN Wildcats 54-47 and then slaughtering the Broadland Devils by an Impressive 86-24.

Top scorers in this match were Sally Banham(28), Rosemary Powell (20) and Louise Goncalves (20).

WOMEN'S FOOTBALL: Despite being three play· ers short, UEA managed to keep the scorellne respectable against Danes High In their league match on November 5.

Having beaten Lowestoft 11-0 In their previous match, the team were unfortunately depleted by Illness and coursework demands. Fac· ing Insurmountable odds, the 'UEA Eight' gave it everything they had to fill in the gaps and they managed to hold off most of the opposition's onslaught to keep the score to just a 2-0 deficit at half time.

After the break, UEA showed grit and determination and their reward came when Abi Dawodu scored.

The team then prevented Danes High from adding to their tally, and, under the circumstances, the 2·1 defeat can be seen as a good result.

Cycling Club Run Riot Duathlon

ACTION from the game against the University of Hertfordshire, where UEA emerged triumphant 6-1 Winners.

PHOTO: STEVEHOWARD

Whilst the weather dampened spectators' spirits, the game was still as fierce as ever, and Rick Silva managed to run in another try for UEAdown the left side. However, in the second halfthe pace slowed, and most of the action took place away from the trylines.

A noticeable exception to this rulewasOliver, whonearlyscoredin the 47th minute from a spectacular run.

He put thi s to rights 20 minutes later, when he blazed past the Hen fordshJTc defence to fin ally get a try .

In addition to this, further points came from a clean penalty taken straight in front of the posts.

Hertfordshire put up a spirited fight in the last ten minutes, with a couple ofpassing manoeuvres which almost carried them to the UEA tryline. However, these chances were subdued by a resolute defence, and the score line remained at 20-5 until the final whistle.

"te»..

The duathlon promised a five kilometre run, a 25 km cycle ride and another five km run, and the near perfect conditions attracted a large field of nearly a hundred.

The versatile John Swindells won his age-class comfortably despite never having competed in aduathlon before, and came home in a brisk I hr 19 mins 9 sec.

His pace in the opening run undoubtedly secured victory and was consolidated by an equally rapid bike ride. Even in the final run, where he clearly paid for his earlier efforts, he dug in and finished with style.

Triathlete Getraud Stuhlmacher ran a well controlled race to finish third overall in the ladies category with I :31 :54, having missed several weeks of training due to an injury sustained in a cycling accident.

Medals apart, the fastest UEA competitor on the day was Dave Cooper, who pipped John by nine seconds at the finish but was cornpeting in a different age group. The highlight of the race for Dave was

overtaking a competitor riding several thousand pounds worth of Lotus Bike!

Experienced triathlete Marc V on Hobe opted to "take it easy" on the day, as he felt a little off colour, but he still managed to turn in a creditable I :24:27.

The final member of the team was due to be the unlucky Dave Bailey, who was forced to miss the race due to a broken collar bone.

Threedayspreviously,hehadwalked away from a nasty high speed crash

during training which saw him narrowly miss going over the handlebars through a shop window! An accomplished duathlete, he decided to put his experience to good use despite being unable to compete himself. "[ got everyone to practise the transition phase of the event, which is where a lot of time can be gained or lost. I think everyone was sick of changing shoes and pulling helmets on and offby the time I'd finished, but r like to think it paid off'.

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Medallists John Swindells and Gertraud Stuhlmacher PHOTO: ANDY TYLER

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Concrete, Wednesday, November 15, 1995

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HAVING failed to beat Hertfordshire in the last two seasons, it was imperative that UEA secured a win this year.

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diving the wrong way, he stuck out a leg to divert the ball over the crossbar.

The eventual breakthrough came with 15 minutes remaining. Bennett picked the ba\\ up 40yards out, and after an intelligent run by Colvin, he released Nundy through the middle. One touch was all that was needed for Nundy to bury the ball confidently in the bottom right-hand corner.

It seemed as ifjustice would be done, but as the dust settled on some ecstatic celebrations, UEA's only defensive error of the game let in the Hertfordshire number ten for an undeserved equaliser.

However,just when it seemed like it was all over, a cross-field ball from Colvin fo und Bennett goal-side of the opposition full- back, and he had time to pick his spot before fi ring the winner home off the far post. +++STOP PRESS+++ Since this report was written, the team has confirmed its position at the top of the Gall pen Press league with a 3-0 win over Tuddenham .

2 rooms available

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A 16-3 slaughter of the group's whipping boys Cranlield the previous week made this fixture the first real test fo r Rob Crane's men, and they came through it with flying colours.

In the first half an hour, UEA played by far their finest football of the season so far, with Crane's innovative 'de\ocalization' of the midfieid trio ofDanny Bennett, !an Nundy and Tomas Amesen reaping real benefits.

It was, however, a dtsplay built on patience. Always willing to play the ball out from the back, some .:>fthe footba ll was a joy to watch, with Matt Jelly and James Colvin working wonders up front.

How the score remamed at 0-0 until half-time remains a mystery, with Jelly foiled three times, a sharp Kevin Robinson drive shaving the upright, and Amesen having a goal dubiously ruled out for offside.

The pace ofUEA's first-half play was such that inevitably the second-halfslowed down a great deal, but the chances continued to come. Crane's speculative 25 yard strike thudded against the post and, when Colvin stepped inside his marker to fire a shot goa lwards, the ' keeper 's luck held as,

the students' landlord