Concrete issue 111 15 03 2000

oncrete P-Ulled by nion over local B P interview

by JAMES GOFFIN, News Editor CONCRETE WAS stripped off the newstands last fortnight after Union bosses accused the paper of publishing "racist propaganda".

But the move has been condemned by students, who attacked the sabbatical team for cen oring the pre s and trying to silence criticism of the Union. we've stayed within them. This The decision to pull the paper Nazi League poster. was taken by the three sabbatical In a statement announcing the was an anti-racist article, and it is officers, after they objected to the ban, sabbs said they were important that we cover these centre spread interview with a "shocked and ashamed" at the issues. lt doesn't break the local British National Party leader article, which "could only be Constitution, and the sabbs have · illustrated by a front page from described as racist propaganda" just made an emotive, political BNP paper Freedom and an Anti- that broke the Union's "non- decision." discriminatory policy."

Intelligent But when pressed, "The Union are acting as the Academic Officer, Lisa Eldret, admitted that no official non- thought police. Students are discriminatory policy exists. intelligent enough to make up "it's what is written on their own minds, and I don't the blue boards in Union believe that any student is going House, but as far as I am to join the BNP after reading that aware it has not been article," he reasoned. passed by Students Forum or a UGM. Other news: "However, it • Beeline in trouble 6 fundamentally • New sabbs elected 2 underlines everything • Constable complaints 3 we do as a students' union," she protested.

That argument was And he was backed by the rejected by Concrete's National Union of Journalists, who praised Concretes handling Rejected of a difficult issue. editor, James Tapsfield, "The way to defeat fascism is who insisted that he had not to suppress it or pretend it is not broken any rules not there, but to demonstrate how about what the paper dangerous it is by, if necessary, can print - and fiercely publishing fascist material in an denied accusations of anti-racist context, and this feature was clearly anti-racist," racism.

"Concrete operates commented NUJ spokesman, independently within Tim Golpin.

During the row sabbs also sensible rules, and

touted changes to the paper's status, threatening "the imposition of greater editorial control from democratically elected officers," sparking off a 850-signature to campus-wide petition safeguard the paper's position .

But the Union has now utumed, claiming that they fully support Concrete's independence.

Autonomy "I don't want to take away Concrete's autonomy, and neither

does Management Committee," claimed Welfare Officer, Claire Kober.

"And I don't believe we should have an elected editor, because you are looking at a job that needs skills, not a political appointment like a sabbatical," she promised.

But editor James Tapsfield is unconvinced by the Union's words.

Scrutinising "Scrutinising the Union officers is one of our main jobs, and we can't do that if the elected officers are the people who have the final say over what goes in the paper.

There's no point us existing as a Union Pravda."

"They've already ripped up the rules once. Who's to say they won't do it again?"

See letters, page 8

Leader

The imP-ortance of being indeReriEJent here have been some very dangerous hrases bandied about over the last fortnight.

Concrete has been accused of publishing racist propaganda on more than one occasion, and as the paper has been withdrawn many students will have been unable to decide for themselves whether this is the case or not. lt is important to say here, then, that all sides accept that the text of the article was not racist, and that Concrete in no way supports racism or the BNP. You may not agree with the editorial decision that was taken, and it is understandable that people are concerned about the way the BNP are covered in the media.

But the fact is that the newspaper would not be doing its job if everyone was happy with what it printed all the time.

Since it started as a private company - totally separate from the Union - in 1992, Concrete has always been editorially independent, and well over 90 per cent of its costs are still covered through advertising revenue.

If its editorial independence was not safeguarded by a set of rules Concrete would find it impossible to scrutinise the activites of the Union and make sure that students are being well represented.

So when these rules are broken or ignored, as they have been in this case, the independent status of the newspaper is threatened.

And if the freedom of the press to investigate issues and scrutinise our representatives is undermined, we really do have problems.

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15, 2000

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Got a story? Let us know at the Concrete office... tel: 250558 emall: su.concrete@uea.ac.uk

Charity Spring walk EAGER WALKERS are being given the chance to raise money for cancer care early next month.

Marie Curie charity is urging students to do the daffodil walk around Aylsham and Blicking Parks in north Norfolk on Sunday, March 5.

The local charity has recruited Eastern Daily Press columnists Joy and Charles Boldero to design a series of unique circular walks in the area, ranging from two and a half miles to eight miles long, and are encouraging students to collect sponsorship for the event.

For more details contact Amba on Norwich 633086 or write to Marie Curie Cancer Care, 5 Magdalen Street, Norwich, Norfolk NR31LE.

Ill

but ROOr turnout marrs vote

By JAMES GOFFIN, News Editor LESS THAN 10 per cent of UEA's students bothered to vote in last week's sabbatical elections - the poorest turnout in three years.

This means that next year's Union team will start their jobs with at best a mandate from six per cent of the Union 's members, after studen ts stayed away from the vote in droves .

Union Academic Officer. Lisa Eldret , blamed the abysmal turnout on a lack of competition for the posts, wi th no more than four candidates jockeying for each job.

Publicise "' If you look at last year we had around 20 candidates, and although we try to do as much as possible to pub licise the elections. the tumout will never be so high with less candidates." she lamented. year's But with last Com mun icat ions Officer fi asco st ill

blighting the Union, Lisa praised the candidates for the way they had fough t the campaign. " I was impressed by the work the candidates put in. They got out and talked to a lot of students, and . o far it appear' that everyone ran a clean campaign and stayed wi thin the ru les."

The winning candida tes now seem keen to get on wi th the job, and are vowing not to be pulled into Union politics. '"I wanted it to be a non-pol it ical campaign, because I don ' t be lieve

Bush whacked

By LUKE TURNER GIG GOERS received an unexpected aerobatic treat when grunge mockers Bush finally made it to the LCR last week.

The band had cancelled their two previous scheduled gigs claiming "unforeseen promotional demands on the band 's time," and problems with singer Gavin Rossdale's voice were to blame.

The following day he had But their bad luck the stage, following which the the ankle examined in continued when guitarist singer and axe man to tried to hospital, though he was form a closer acquaintance Nigel Pulsford plummeted sufficiently recovered to with the screaming members off the stage and broke his play on the rest of the tour, of the audience. ankle during an energetic which continued the climax to their set.

Invade following night In At the end of the gig Bush Manchester. asked the crowd to invade A spokesperson for Bush put the accident down to high spirits caused by the band approaching the end of remainder their gruelling international of the set, touring schedule. though his aftershow Gruelling partying "Because it was the end of was limited the tour the band were all by having really going for it. He twisted ice packed his ankle and didn't think around the anything about it."

politics has a role in the nion:路 sa id Welfare Officer-e lect Polly Morgan , who won just 38 per cent of first preference votes, but beat off Antony Litt le by 115 votes in the second round of the count. " I was a litt le upset that there were rumours that the four of us on the same slate didn "t suppon an independent Concrete. lt was a shame that became an issue." she said.

Delighted Emma Price took Academic Officer with nearly twice the votes of riva l candidate lan Mackie, baggi ng 697 votes to his 33 1, and was delighted with the result. " I'm absolutely thrilled. I'm going to try and make the nion more access ible fo r a ll st ude nts

when they come back in September. taking it out of Union House and letting people know what's goi ng on ," she grinned.

Sanjay Daryanani came runnerup in the Communications Officer ballot for the second year in a row, losing to Wayne Barnes by six per cent.

Landslide Fi nance Officer went to Becky Thom with a landslide 54 per cent. dwarfing second place Jimi Matthews' 19 per cent.

Surprisingly. Kevin Howlett's big hair campaign won him I 0 per cent of the vote, leaving Col in Moore in last place. 路路1 wasn't that surprised. and I can't wait to get on with it," sa id Becky. " I want to comm un icate more and make sure that we are doing the job st udents want us to. I want to get residences a nd get arou nd feedback."

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Motion's poetic justice CULTURE-LOVERS ARE In for a real treat tonight, thanks to a charity evening featuring UEA talent.

Amnesty International has persuaded Poet Laureate and EAS Profe sor Andrew Motion to team up with ome of the campus' be t musicia ns for an evening of poetry and music at Norwich 's historic Assembly House.

Starting tonight at 7.30pm, the event costs £4 per ticket for students, with profits going to help Amnesty's work campaigning for political prisoners worldwide.

Advance tickets are avai lable from the city's Guildhall Ticket Shop.

Wage rate • r1ses THE NATIONAL Union of Students is claiming a victory In Its campaign to improve work conditions for under 21 s.

The Government have announced that the minimum wage rate will rise from £3 to £3.20 from this October for 18-21 year olds, with the standard adult hourly pay rising by 10p to £3.70.

National NUS President, Andrew Pakes, commented, "Students and young parents should not have to work for poverty wages:• "This increase is more than welcome but we will continue to campaign for an end to the age discrimination in the under 21s rate."

Marked down THE UNION'S drive to introduce anonymous marking across the University took a knock last week when lt was rejected by a UEA committee.

Members of the Assembly were not convinced by the plans to introduce anonymous coursing marking acros campus, and knocked back the scheme by 15 votes to 13. depe rsonalisation of teaching, The move reflects some where student become numbers not academics' concern that faces," continued Dr Crockatt. anonymous marking would destroy "And sometimes a marker might the link between lecturers and be freer to expre s bias again t a students · and could actually encourage bias. particular philosophical or ideological line if they don't know Bias the person whose written the essay," "I recognise that issues of bias he warned. are a real problem, and no one on But Li a Eldret dismi ed the the side of the faculty want students criticisms of the scheme, and to feel unhappy about their grades," pledged to continue wi th her explained EAS' Dr Richard attempt to push it through .

Crockatt, who is also UEA' Director of Undergraduate Studies.

"Although I will go along with "The vote was not the end. What whatever the consen us in the I' m pleased about is that a number of schools already mark coursework University is, individually I have reservations because anonymou anonymously or will do soon, marking can create problem for the including almost all the teaching tyle that a lot of people Professional school ." use."

"I think a lot of the reason people are against it is that they don ' t see "Anyone that allows students to talk about their essays before they both sides of the story. They reacted write them, or to submit drafts, will badly without being in full have problems. A lot of faculty are possession of the facts," argued Usa Eldret: also worried about the Lisa.

Plans rejected

Scheme

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Kiss and tell Woking Police have come up with a bizarre theory in the case of a missing mother. According to reports in the Woking Review, the errant mum "has previously gone kissing for short periods, but has always contacted her children."

Naked shopping Shopaholics in Austria got the treat of their lives when a 4Gstrong chain of department stores offered to dish out £250 of free clothes to each customer. But there was a catch shoppers had to turn up naked to get their booty.

The ploy was scrapped after angry campaigners took drastic action against the offer, sending a death threat to a store manager.

Laughing policeman Council officials in Sheffield have proved they do have a sense of humour, by naming a road in honour of one of the oldest jokes in the book.

The crazy paper-pushes have baptised a slip road next to a police station " Letsby Avenue".

Foxy trot Two OAPs have ended up in court after a row about sexual harassment at a north London tea dance.

Aubrey Powell, 77, attacked fellow dancer Mark Lester, 71 , with a file wrapped In a tea towel, after he was accused of getting a little too close to his dance partners. " She said I was Interfering with the ladies," complained Lester in his defence. "But I'm a gentleman - and, anyway, I'm impotent.''

Sound of silence Cambodian radio listeners are being deprived of the chance to hear a chart-topping song, because their government says it insults women.

Where Do I Come In Your List of Lovers? has been added to a forbidde n list that Includes titles like Kill Me With An Injection Please, I Still Love You Even Though You Are A Married Man, and All Girls Want That.

"We are concerned about respecting free speech:' said a government mandarin, " but th is song has a bad influence on our society."

UEA activists attack hOSP-ital for investment P-Olicy

By CLARE HAMILTON-EDDY, Assistant News Ed itor.

UEA'S MAIN partner in its medical school bid has been attacked for profiting from the arms t rade .

Student prote,ton, from the Not in Our Na m e:. campaig n h ave revea le d that th e Norfolk a nd Norw ic h Hosp it a l he ld 19 .405 s h ares in ann:. giant GEC. The health tn"t sold the s hares after G EC sp un o il it s arms division to British Aerospace. hut has refused to guarantee it "ill take ~n ethka l sta nce in the future .

Anxi ous The acti\ ists arc an\ious that the hospital linances he gi' en a clc~n hi ll of hea lt h be fore it teams up with UEA to launch a medical school. a decision on "hich is due in Ma).

"Our campa ign is not isolated as w.: a re concerned abo ut anything that the University comes into contact \\ ith."' explained Sarah Kyte

iDEV 2) "The Norfolk and orw ich ll ospital do not seem to mind\\ hich compa nies they invest in ... ·· rt is not a question of whe ther \\C should ha\e arms in this \\orld. it is ahou t where the arms trade belongs . Does it belong within univers ities and hospita ls'' Defin ite ly not:· she rai led.

But Chief Executive of the Norfolk and Norwich Hospital.

Malcu lm Stamp. im,istcd tha t they do have ethical considerations although he admitted that they were forced to sell the ir shares becau se of linancial and not ethical reasons. ··we didn ' t ;,el l the shares in BAe hecause of eth ica l cons iderations:· he admitled. ··But \\'e do have ethical

co nsideratio ns about inves tments. for instance. we don't irl\est in tohacco or tobacco related indu stri es." prot es ted M r Stamp.

Although the hospital has now sold the shares. campaign member Dr Ru pe rt Read in sis ts it is nece"ar) to keep up the r)l"e>Sure to pre,ent similar inwstmenh in the fut ure.

Policy "The bot tom li ne is tha t the hospital does not have an ethical policy. They may ha\e sold the shares. hut the) could hu) the m

agam.

• Campaigner" a rc abo waiting to

se.: w het her th ey have c linched ,·ictOr) in their ball le to get UEA to adopt a compktcl) clean investment po li cy.

"One of the things that has happened in the last ) car is thal I he nat io na l un rversrt res pension scheme has is'.ued a declaration in fa\l>Ur of erhieal irl\esrmcnt '" a pri nciple:· explained Dr Read. " I thinh rhat the UEi\ is rnnre ad\·anced than any other uniYersity ;o it can fo ll ow sui t. and hopeful ly go beyond that."" he cmhused.

And he urg..:d '-!udenh to lobby University Counci l. whic h will recei,·e a report on the issue at it s ~ l arch 27 meeting .

Protests Web • abandoned WISe

DIRECT ACTION p rotests have bee n aba ndoned by Union activists this week, as they press to bring the environment to th e top of the agenda.

St udents led by Un ion Env iron me nt Officer, Lara Clements, are putting on a diverse programme of events, all aimed at raisin g environmental awareness at UEA. "We are trying to be non'crit ical mass' outside the confrontational, so we 're not LCR to highlight transport problems. doing big anti-Shell or antiMc Donald 's protests," " We're putting together big petitions asking for explained Lara. better facilities for cyclists, Positive and for subsidised bus " We want Environment routes onto campus," said Week to be positive and Lara. informative, so people can Subsidised learn from it and go on and Throughout the week put what they know to good stalls in the Hive will have a use." green feel , with Greenpeace, Events kicked off on Monday, and continue the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament, the Green through till Friday. Tonight sees a PeaceSoc sponsored Party and Eco-Direct Action amongst the organisations debate on the bombing of taking a pitch.

Kosovo, from ?pm in Lecture Theatre 2, and the LCR disco Raffle tickets to raise cash will take on a global attitude to buy a chunk of ra inforest will also be available on Thursday when the Hive is throughout the week, with taken over by eco-aware DJs. The week will be rounded prizes donated by local firms like Cinema City and Pedros. off on Friday afternoon with a

"DON'T GET shafted," is one of the gems of advice offered on a new student website produced by consumer watchdog the Office of Fair Trading.

The site at www.ofthelp.com - aims to give studehts advice on a range of issues including legal rights, Internet shopping and financial planning.

The thinking behind the project is .that for many, university is their first experience of supporting themselves . and they are .thrown in at the deep end with . little advice and support." . . And : John Bridgeman.

Director General of Fair Trading , is adamant that , students will feel at home on the site. " lt uses language that students will be able to relate· to."

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The Plans NO NEW car parking is to be built, although improvements will be made to existing spaces. Three main options for charging for car parking have been suggested: • student permit: £10 a year. Staff permit: Up to £80, depending on income. Daily charge: £1 • student permit: £25.

Staff permit: £25. Daily charge: £1 • Student permit: £30.

Staff permit: Up to £370, depending on income.

Daily charge: SOp At the moment, no new restrictions will be put on who can get a permit, although it's not ruled out for the future.

The cash raised around £400,000 - could be spent on a range of measures, from subsidising bus routes to providing new changing rooms and showers for cyclists The full consultation paper can be found on the web, at www.uea.ac.uklintranet

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UniversitY. finallY. announces radical transgort glans

By JAMES GOFFIN, News Editor

STUDENT CAR owners face charges of over £100 a year under University plans to drive them off campus.

But In a trade-off, the latest draft of UEA's transport management plan will also pump cash into developing cycle and bus routes and facilities.

Registry bosses have been thrashing out a response to a report by consultants Oscar Faber for months, and have now put out a proposal to students and staff to gauge reaction, with the hope of getting a firm plan in place by the end of the year.

According to Alan Preece, UEA 's Director of Communications, it is crucial the University acts quickly.

Pressure "There is a very large excess of permits to parking spaces available on campus, and there are increasingly signs of pressure at national and local level," he said.

"And there is evidence from

the research we have done that the amount of pressure on the car park could increase by 30 per cent over a 15 year period."

Proposals But the main thrust of the University's proposals cutting car use by charging students between £1 0 and £30 a year for a permit, plus £1 a day for parking, while investing in alternatives have received a mixed reaction from students.

Union Finance Officer, Andy Marriot, has roundly attacked the University's proposals.

"The University don't seem to have considered students

at all. UEA is a rural university, so many students need to drive, and there are also students with disabilities and mature students with children who need to use a car; • he stormed. "lt's a fundraising issue, because it won 't stop people using cars - it will just tax

them for doing it."

And Salli Panter (ENV 2) who is helping to co-ordinate the Union's Environment Week - also attacked the plans, but for different reasons, claiming that they did not go far enough to cut down on car use. " Charging £10 for a permit

still makes it cheaper than using the bus, especially without proper sustainable transport," complained Salli.

Alternatives ''There's CCTV all over campus, but none on bike racks. We need funding for the alternatives to driving."

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Applications for Resident Tutorshlps for the academic year 2000/01 are now Invited from suitably experienced students and members of staff.

Students who will be abroad during 2000/01 should also apply now for appointment In September 2001

Resident Tutors form the vital base of a pyramid providing for the welfare and good order of students in University residences. The system demands that students take a good deal of responsibility for their lives on a day-to-day basis, but provides an extensive network of welfare and support services to protect the rights and interests of both individuals and the community of which they are a part. ;

Further particulars are available from the Dean of Students' Reception ~ ext 2761 Closing date for entries: 29th March 2000 ;

6 NEWS

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All around the world A THIRD of women reckon thei r t op c hoice for a desert island would be hunk Brad Pitt.

And most men would like to languish on the beaches of a castaway paradise with Latino babe Jennifer Lopez.

Bottom choices are ginger-muppet Chris Evans, and Spice Girl Victoria Beckham.

The poll, organised by STA Travel and Visa, also reveals that young people are keener than ever to travel round the world, with a whopping 87% of students keen to take up the travel bug before settling into a career.

But students have some odd priorities in packing their suitcases.

Although passports, first aid kits and credit cards top the list of cruical contents, six per cent also stuff from toilet roll in their baggage.

When they do make it into the wild , extreme sports like white water rafting and skydiving are the activities that most young people head for.

Need A Room Over

Congregation?

• En suite and standard singles available • Family and friends welcome • Excellent value

Budget burgers CHEAP AN D CHEERFUL campus eaterie Brea kers 2 is claiming it has f inally found the winning recipe, after it slashed prices for its fast food fare .

The restau ran t came in for a roasting from students last year, when a Concrete survey revealed that threequ arters of stu de nts fo un d the o utl e t's men u less than sati s factory.

But now managers arc claiming that students are flocking back, encouraged by a £ 1 burger and chip» deal -and with more price cutting to come.

"T he promo ti on is going extremely well ," grinned Breakers 2 manager, Dale Jcfferson.

Promotion

If you would like to stay overnight on Campus during Congregation, then call the Conference Office on 593277 for prices and ava ilability

·· 1 haven ·, even had a chance tn get al l the flyers out - it's been that busy. We're going to continue it through to the end of term, and this week we will be reducing th e pr ice of an 8ot burger with fries too:· "it is hard to meet everyone's needs, but we' re do ing special a lTe rs on certain meals, we ·re pulling a new menu cycle on and we ' re really looking at w hat people wa nt ," explained Mr Jefferson.

Service

uea conference services

And he urged students not to pull any punches about the kind of service they wanted . " We want to know what we can

do to improve things. ;o we can try and put it right. I don't go out of my way to make things horrible - we're trying our hest.''

Struggled ·Breakers 2 has struggled since it re-opened last year. after abandoning an un;ucccssful ltal ianstyle format. and reverting to the

American burger and chips model of the origi nal Breakers. it was the subject of heated debate during the recent Sabbatical elections, with cand idates float ing diverse plans for its future. including a Union take-over. transformation into an in ternational cafe, and an alternat ive s ite for the Graduate Students· Club bar.

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2000

Natural Norfolk

Elite unis .P-lan tuition charge hike

By LUKE TURNER

NORFOLK IS set to become the country's first GM-free county - or at least that's the plan being hatched by environment campaigners Greenpeace.

The Executive Director of the green charity, Lord Peter Melchett, teamed up with the Lord Mayor of Norwich, Doug Underwood, to launch the drive last week, with the opening of a campaign office in the city centre.

Based in Dove Street, the drop-in centre will be distributing information on genetically modified foods to Norfolk consumers, urging them to make their homes GM-free zones.

Information The campaign has already won support from two major landowners, Donatd Morton and Henry Birkbeck, who between them farm over 9,000 acres of land in the county. " I feel that GM is a step too far. lt's the last flowering of a discredited form of agriculture. Jt has become an abuse of nature when we should be working with nature," explained Mr Birkbeck.

Abuse

TUITION FEES could rocket under a scheme being put forward by top universities across the country.

their efforts.

GM-free "We want people in Norfolk to declare GM-free zones wherever they can, whether it is their shopping bag, house, farm, allotment or business. Displaying your 'GM-free zone' sign shows that no GM is eaten, grown or sold," enthused Peter Melchett.

But the project could run into trouble at UEA.

Research Although all the catering outlets on campus claim to serve GM-free food , a significant amount of research into altering the genetic make-up of plants is carried out on site, with both the School of Biology and the John lnnes Centre currently heavily involved in GM ro· s.

J.5

The elite Russell Group - which include top institutions like Oxford, Cambridge, UCL and York - is planning to pull out of the state funding system, to enable them to charge up to £60,000 for undergraduate degrees.

The controversial plans could Cambridge charges its private students become a reality in as little as three £11 ,500 a year for arts degrees, and years, because the unis reckon falling £18,900 for a medical qua lification.

Government funding will make it York demands £6,800 for a BA, with impo sible to compete with other Warwick commanding a £7,000 fee. centres around the world.

Privatised Vice-Chancellor of the niversity At UEA , tudents from outside the of ottingham, Sir Colin Campbell, head up the Russell Group - and EU pay £6,450 a year for ans courses insists that they need a massive cash and £8,400 for lab-based science degree . injection.

But it is unlikely that Registry Cash injection bosses at UEA will go down the full"We should begin the debate about fee routes- although they are not ruling how to maintain the international it out.

"The Secretary of State, David reputation of our top univer ities. We Blunkett, has made it clear that he does could have implementation in the next not want to see top up fee introduced," three to four years;' he claimed.

At the moment, students pay a said University spokesperson, Annie straight£ 1,025 a year whack wherever Ogden.

"But if this position should change, the privatised unis cou ld charge UEA would have to review it tudy, they but under plans,y li kedthe- new currentl whatever

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CONCRETE WEDNESDAY, MARCH 15, 2000

Leaders

Issue 111

Leaders

Editor James 'Still here' Tapsfield

Elected

Deputy Editors Mark Edwards Caroline Jeater News Editor James 'Devil Horns' Goffin

With the lowest turnout in three years, it seems the sabbatical officers are increasingly irrelevant to most students' lives.

For many, the Union means the bars and the shops - but it should mean much more. Union officers are the people who represent you in talks with UEA over rent, teaching standards, sports provision and much more. They are the people who decide how the money you pour into the tills of the commercial services is spent, from free legal advice to GameSoc. lt is crucial that Union officers are the people with the skills and the mandate to meet those roles, and direct the permanent staff to meet students' needs.

For that to happen, students themselves have to start taking the Union seriously.

Assistant News Editor Clare Hamilton-Eddy Assistant Features Editor Will Halsey Sports Editor Nick 'Flex' Henegan Creative Writing Editor Kris Siefken Web Editor Pete Chapman Ad manager Jane 'work experience?' Kirby Distribution Manager James 'defender of the faith' Graham Editorial Contributors Luke Hayward, Debbi Marco, Denny Coote, Nicole Fortmann, Andrew Goodson, Katherine Rowbottom, Sarah Wright, Elin Jones, George Walker, Chris Hailstone, Rob Page, Donna Smith Illustrations Pete Large & Rachel Clutterbuck Photographers Russell Burton , Nick Henegan, Caroline Jeater, Mark Edwards, James Tapsfield, Luke Turner Copy Editing Ruth Levis

Toff up fees

Bee Iine race row

With Oxbridge and others planning to drop out of the state system and charge massive fees , students are going to be more cash-strapped then ever.

We're not sure whether it's reassuring or not that a degree from UEA would cost a third of one from Cambridge on the private system, but it is good to hear that the University has no plans to bring in top-up fees.

Perhaps th e Registry should tell that to schools that charge for course dossiers, or force students to use expensive printouts from the interne!.

Or is that kind of contradiction what "doing different" is all about?

As a paper that has itself recently been subject to some particularly vicious - and false - accusations of racism , we are the last people who would want to start a witch-hunt against Beeline Taxis.

On balance, controller Billy Lewis probably didn't intend any offence when he asked an Asian student about her background , but he should have been aware that the question was an unwise one, and to his credit he has apologised for any offence.

Both si des deserve a little understanding.

Letters to the Editor PO Box 410, UEA, NR4 7TB Tel 01603 250558 Fax 01603 506822 e-mail su.concrete@ uea.ac.uk

DTP James Tapsfield, Caroline Jeater, Mark Edwards, Nick Henegan Page 19 poemsŠ Claude Brown & Alex Sehmer 2000.

Special thanks to El in for the housing guide cartoons.

Thanks to: UH Stewards, everyone at ECN Concrete is published by the Union of UEA Students. Opinions expressed are those of the Contributor and not necessarily those of the Publisher or Editor. Use of the name ' The Evenf appears by arrangement with the copyright holders, Planet Zog Ltd. No part of this newspaper may be reproduced or transmitted through any means including lost yet somehow very important documents, ridiculous comments and very odd ways of behaving - without the express permission of the Editor. Printed by Eastern Counties Newspapers Ltd, Norwich, Norfolk NR1 1RE. Š Concrete 2000.

Censorship? have had the opportunity to read the article about Norwich and the Nationalists in Concrete, including the front page of the ironically titled 'The Voice of Freedom'. In no way can Concrete be accused of incitement to hatred . This is a thoughtful and informative piece of journalism, but that is not really the point. Freedom of the press is one of the strongest defences against fascism .

Only incitement to hatred or violence, invasion of personal privacy and deliberate libel should constrain that freedom . Political opinion should not. I understand the pressure to act in haste in this matter, but I firmly believe the Student Union's initial reaction was wrong both in withdrawing this issue and most certainly in demanding political control of future issues. If you need any further reflection on why the latter is so dangerous, consider a possible demand by Tony Blair (democratically elected) for control of all future

I

issues of the Mail on Sunday; or of Margaret Thatcher in the 1980s (democratically elected) for control of the Guardian. You would rightly have taken to the streets in protest. I urge the Students Union to please take a little time to review this very important issue, and re-instate full editorial independence for Concrete.

Yours Sincerely Bruce Lyons Dean of SOC

Fascist w**kers

he type of censorship to which you have been subjected does not surprise me. You will by now have discovered that few people actually believe in total freedom of speech . I feel sorry for the si tu ation in which Concrete finds itself. it has a long and honourable tradition of irritating the Establishment - the function of student newspapers down the ages - and I regret the censorship to which you have been subjected - although I am not surprised by it.

Yours sincerely, John Charmley Professor of Modern History Director of Admissions

Sexual healing

T

aving worked as professional journalist for years, I regard your piece on the BNP as indeed bad journalism and bad taste. I am not in favour of censorship of any sort, but have a great understanding that the Students' Union and all students I have personally discussed this with, do not want to be identified with articles like that.

H

Tanja R Muller

You what?

F

**k you

Richard Pithouse Department of Philosophy University of Durban-Westville South Africa

"it has to start somewhere it has to start sometime" -Rage against the Machine Niren Tolsi and Spliff A prat and his goldfish

s Nicole Fortmann appears to have a misguided definition of Tantra (Concrete Issue 109) I thought I would explain it a little.

The tantra is a religious philosophy (sorry Nicole) which is also known as the Vajrayana - tha path of the diamond thunderbolt. lt is a path followedd predominantly by Tibetan Buddist monks and nuns with many of them making vows to practice specific meditations and visualisation techniques. Within the FWBO who operate the Norwich Buddist Centre, the Tantra is just one of many schools of Buddism from which insight may be gained on the true nature of reality.

So why is there Tantric Sex? Buddist art work in the Tantra shows particular Bodhisattva's (enlightened beings) in coital with a consort. These paintings known as Thanqkas have huge importance for Buddists as they represent the duality of the world and they were an attempt to shock monks into suddenly seeing reality; as if hit by a Diamond Thunderbolt. I like to think at some point it was realised that following the Tantra, in basic terms, means doing 'nothing' as insight will simply come to us. Coupled with the thanqkas found in all Tibetan mionestries it does not take a genius to find some tenous link between sex and enlightenment; Tantra clearly means having lots of sex! Sorry to burst your bubble ...

Sarah Taylor LLT 3

A

Please mark your letters for the attention of the Editor, James Tapsfield. We reserv& the right to edit for length and clarity.

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24 HOUR INFO. LINE 01603 611113

10 Insults 11 Euro dilemma 13 Ibiza madness c/s Gary Lineker

16 Endsleigh: why?

17 Photo story 18 Prize crossword 19 Featured wn••rlct

11

You may think of insults as mere derogatory comments, but there is a rich tradition of put-downs going back to Shakespeare and beyond. Will Halsey investigates ...

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Tuesday 14th March

Quiz Night with a St. Patrick's Day twist

ticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me ." So the wise teacher said , although it must be assumed he was never taunted with: "If my dog had a face like yours I'd shave his arse and walk him backwards."

Insults have almost certainly been around since language evolved , but some of the oldest recorded put-downs appear in the works of the Bard , William Shakespeare. Will 's gift for poetic verse and fantastic alliteration rank him up there with the best when it comes to verbal abuse. If you can judge the quality of an insult by the difficulty of responding to it, what exactly do you say when you're called a ''fobbing fly-bitten hugger-mugger''? Likewise, "Thou cockered common-kissing flax-wench ," would quickly sway any verbal conflict in the Bard's favour.

Literature, then, upheld the tradition of insults before there was television or film. And one important branch of the literary insult involved petty argument arguments between writers.

Henry Arthur Jones once famously described George Bernard Shaw as, "A freakish homunculus germinated outside lawful procreation" - a put-down sure to silence the renowned playright for at least a couple of West End seasons. Norman Cameron, though, had even stronger words for poet Dylan Thomas, describing him as: "That insolent little ruffian , that crapulous lout. When he quilted a sofa, he left behind him a smear." Although the exact nature of this allegation can be left up to the imagination, the point is clear and extremely personal. The twentieth century, however, has 11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

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Baba Simba

playing in aid of the Afro-Caribbean Charity Night *REMEMBER HAPPY HOUR 7-Bpm* Monday 20th March

Cocktails and live jazz

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The wise teacher was never taunted with: "If my dog had a face like yours I'd shave his arse b k d " lk h..m dW •a•n-• •a___ __a_c_ w _a _r_s _.____ seen the growth of the generic insult, which can be usefully applied to different situations. This can be largely attributed to the growth of television and other popular media. For example, in the 1970s the punk movement became almost synonymous with calling chat show hosts "b**tards", while in the USA, "punkass" became a rather negative term. This stateside insult was often accompanied by the insinuation that the insulted person partook in sexual relations with their female parent. And while these slurs lack the linguistic flair of their historical counterparts, the shock factor and simplicity is impressive.

British comedy has been particularly rich in the slaggings department. In Blackadder, writer Richard Curtis was consistently excellent in the insult department with classics such as: "You have as much talent for disguise as a giraffe in dark glasses trying to get into a polar-bears-only

golf club." Simpler comments included : "Some men are born great, some achieve greatness ... and some wi ll always be total gits."

Television has also highlighted the insults that celebrities and politicians come up with to gain ground on rivals. In America, the Presidential race always raises hackles, and one candidate memorably co mmented : "If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel , I want drilling rights to George

One candidate commented: "If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drilling rights to George Bush's head."

Bush's head ." Tom Clancy had similarly strong words for Bill Clinton : "Ciinton is a man who thinks international affairs means dating a girl from out of town." Unsurprisingly, Ronald Reagan came in for criticism as well: "Reagan doesn't dye his hair - he bleaches his face ."

However, nothing on television or in the political domain can match the simple , personal insults dreamt up by fertile imaginations. "Your teeth are so yellow, I can 't believe it's not butter," shows a keen knowledge of advertising, while, "May your b**locks turn cubical and fester at the corners, " shows a keen knowledge of, well, spherical male sex organs. These are the insults that win arguments, even if they don't hold the artistic appeal of Shakespeare. "If I had a brother like you, I'd put myself up for adoption," says the small girl. "I hope your face ends up on a milk carton ," replies the small boy.

Childish, yes, but not quite puerile. If it's puerile you 're after, look no further than the classic high school "your mum" (or, "yo momma") insults.

High school arguments are often characterised by smatterings of mother-related put-downs, with gems such as, "Your mum is like a doorknob: everyone gets a turn ." But while these hilarious put-downs are commonly used , a person confusing these insults is more memorable. One high school pupil retorted to the put-down, "Your mum was good last night," with the immortal mistake of, "So was your Dad ." it seems sad to end a piece highlighting brilliant insults from Shakespeare to Blackadder with "your mum" put-downs, but it does seem a natural place to finish . Because however brilliantly you are insulted , there is always one thing you can retort with , one that will lower the argument to such an extent it can no longer continue. So if all else fails , and you have been called "a dankish earth-vexing hedge-pig," there are two words you can turn to for victory: "Your mum".

Perhaps the old saying could be updated .

"Sticks and stones will break my bones, but mother related verbal put-downs will never hurt me." it's not quite got the same ring to it, though .

I

I

I

The debate over whether to join a single currency is dividing politicians on both sides of the house. Donna Smith looks at the pros and cons ...

T

he debate over Britain joining the European single currency seems to have been dragging on for eternity, but we're still a long way from answering the essential question: Are we in or out? And if you 're not sure where you stand on the matter, don't worry - many of Britain's politicians don't seem to know either. Some say go for it, others say it will be a disaster; but most have a leg on either side of the fence - pretty uncomfortable really.

Labour's official line is that a referendum will be held for the public to express their opinion when, "the economic conditions are met," and they have set a number of economic tests to be applied. This sounds simple, but, as is so often the case when measuring the economy, it's not. The results of the tests, which in themselves are a little vague, depend largely upon what sets of figures you use.

William Hague's Tories, on the other hand, have ruled out supporting entry during this or the next parliament, although there are a fair number in the Party who support joining the single currency at some point.

There's no doubt that public opinion is an important factor in the euro debate. Unfortunately for the government, opinion doesn't presently seem to be going their way - but this wasn't always

"The majority of politicians have a leg on either side of the fence when it comes to monetary union pretty uncomfortable really" the case; last September, the public actually seemed to be drifting towards a 'yes' vote. Surveys by Mori showed that more people were in favour of the Euro than two months earlier - 31 per cent up from 27 per cent. To encourage Labour even more, 37 per cent said they would be in favour if Blair himself actively campaigned for the euro, and finally climbed over that troublesome fence .

These percentages may seem low, but, to the relief of Europhiles, they were at least improving.

Alas, a lot changes in six

FEATURED 11

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months. Since last September, the beef ban in France and Germany, and the scandal over the corrupt European government, seems to have driven the population away from Europe - a fact which undoubtedly pleases William Hague and co.

Forgetting all this political propaganda for a moment, what will the British public get out of monetary union? Well, unsurprisingly, there are at least two sides to this argument as well. According to Labour, joining the European single currency can only be good for Britain , and in particular British business. Peter Mandelson, a committed Europhile, claims that foreign investors only put so much money into British businesses because in 路 their minds "we are definitely going to join the European single currency at some stage."

Similarly, Robin Cook, another Labour grandee, has publicly stated that if Britain wants to be a strong participant in Europe then we have to join the single currency: "If you go on elbowing them [the EU countries] out of the way, there will come a time when they start to ignore what is important to us."

For "important to us", read being seen as the leader of Europe over the next few decades. But most importantly, Tony Blair has recently emphasised that nearly 60 per cent of British business trade is with the rest of the European Union; to cut a long story short, if we pulled out of the EU , over 3 million jobs could be lost. But hang on a moment: did you spot the subtle change in language there? All of a sudden Labour is talking about the dangers of pulling out of the European Union as a whole, not just monetary union. The reason for this is simple - if Labour can't win an argument on the euro, they shift the emphasis onto an argument they can win - the benefits of Europe.

Apparently there is disquiet in the Labour camp over this important, and some say election-turning issue. Many political commentators believe that Gordon Brown is trying to dampen the euro fever incited by ministers like Cook and Mandelson. This is perhaps because he does not want to risk destabilising the economy by favouring the euro over the pound at the present time.

While Labour try and decide when to join, the Conservatives are still trying to decide whether to join at all.

Hague has stated that scrapping the pound could give Europe the power to decide British taxes and tell us how much we can spend on public services such as the NHS. And if our taxes went up to European levels, he asserts, we could end up paying an extra 20p of tax in

11 every pound - a mind-bogglingly large rise.

Eurosceptics also claim that if Britain did 'scrap' the pound, a federal European state would be 路 born , hence the Tory mantra: "in Europe, not run

by Europe." However, if you look closely, behind the Conservatives' economic arguments there seems to be another factor - a factor that is draped in the Union Jack and singing God Save the Queen.

Peppered throughout the Conservatives' rhetoric are phrases like, "YOU don't want to get rid of the pound," and, "it's time to take this message directly to the British people," as if the pound somehow sums up what Britain is and how we perceive ourselves. And it seems that they might be on to something. The majority of the public, if the opinion polls are any1hing to go by, seem to see the pound as something that sets Britain out from the rest of Europe: almost as much as the Queen Mum and the cup of tea.

However, Mr and Mrs Public shouldn 't count on their offspring rejoicing in the splendour of the pound even under the Tories as the twenty-first century trundles on. Hague has decided to put this matter off, thereby tapping into current public opinion, but he can only delay for the time being, and sooner or later Britain may well be faced with choice between joining the euro or enduring pariah status within Europe.

So, if, as appears likely,

Labour do win the next election, when will they hold this promised referendum? Trade and Industry Secretary Stephen Byers has said that Mr Blair and the Cabinet would make a judgement on whether the economic conditions had been met "early in the next Parliament," probably within the first two years, and the voters would then be asked for their verdict. What is clear is that during the next Parliament Labour will pull out all the stops campaigning for a 'yes' vote on the issue of the euro. How people should vote if this referendum is actually held is another matter. lt is obvious that there are pros and cons, and both should be considered; at the moment it may not be the right time to join, but it probably will be one day. The average British voter has to ask themselves whether it is worth being caught up in a wave of blind patriotism and voting 'no' regardless of the economic benefits. Whatever happens, one point has been proven: the euro is too important an economic subject to be played with .

So, is Britain in or out? Or more importantly, are you in or out? Or shall we just forget it... let's all go and play a nice game of English cricket, eat some magnifique French cuisine, and wash it down with a cup of bella Italian coffee. After all, when it comes to Europe, we're all allowed our good old fashioned British double standards.

NO THE AFREE 2

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Gary Lineker has done what many people thought was impossible: he's managed to fill Des Lynam's-Shoes. Nick Henegan headed for Television Centre and met the man they call the nicest man in football. ..

'' G

ary will be with you shortly," says the receptionist as I sit waiting in the reception of BBC Television Centre. A few moments later a rather bemused security guard comes over and in an incredulous tone tells me: "Gary Lineker will be out to meet you soon;" adding, "I'm not sure whether this is some sort of wind up."

But it was no wind up and moments later there was Gary Lineker, beckoning me to join him. lt is perhaps unsurprising that the concept of Gary Lineker talking with me was hard for the security guard to swallow. After all, Lineker is not only one of the Beeb's hottest properties but also arguably the greatest striker England has ever had.

In an extraordinary career that spanned 16 years Lineker scored 250 club goals in 550 appearances, and that is without mentioning his outstanding international record. In 80 appearances for his country he netted no less than 48 goals, an unprecedented ratio of over a goal every other game, and only one less than the all time record of 49 international scores set by Bobby Charlton. Add to this the fact that Lineker netted five hat-tricks for England and has the honour of being England's highest goal scorer in World Cups with 10 goals, and you have the profile of one of the game's greats.

Indeed, in a career of consistent personal achievement it is hard to pick a finest hour. "I was lucky enough to play in two World Cups which were a fantastic experience, and both went well for the team and me personally," Gary says as we lounge in his plush dressing room in the heart of Television Centre - with extreme modesty considering that at Mexico '96 he won the elite Golden Boot award for the competition's most prolific striker.

"But I think as a one off moment it would have to be winning the FA Cup with Spurs in ·1991 ," he continues. "Even though it was a game when I didn't

"A voice came from above screaming, 'You'd better not dive today Lineker you effing w**nker,' which wasn't very pleasant." score - although I did have a perfectly good goal disallowed and missed a penalty - I realised a lifelong ambition of winning the Cup." By his own admission Uneker did not get the chance to taste the glory of team success that often. In fact, the only major honour he won in England was that FA Cup in 1991. 11 was with Barcelona in Spain that he claimed the majority of his winners medals, helping the Catalans to the Spanish <;:up in 1988, and European glory the following year when they lifted the Cup Winners Cup. Lineker also achieved massive personal acclaim during his career, picking up the domestic player of the year award in 1986, and again in 1992. But there is one accolade he missed out on, and it couldn't

have been closer. "If someone had told me when I was 18 lhat I would finish one goal behind Charlton's record I would have told them they were mad, so in reality it is too good to be true. But ultimately I suppose when you get that close you would like to get past it." · Bearing this in Tlind. the moment when Graham Taylor brought him off in his final game for England would surely rank as one of the worst moments in his career.

"I suppose that people would pick that for me, and it was a bit frustrating, but the worst moment was probably losing in that penalty shoot out to Germany in 1990, because we were so close to a World Cup final, it was desperately disappointing".

Unsurprising, especially considering that he goes on to say thal Engand had their best chance in years of winning the tournament.

"Oh yeah, we definitely could have won it. That Argentinean sice were nothing like the one we played in 1986, Maradona's best years had gone and we had a strong side." A better side than the present Englanj one perchance? "I think we were slightly better than the present England side, who are lacking in a couple of positions. I played with Waddle, Barnes and Gascoigne, so I had my fair share of flair players, which we could do with at the moment ac1ually."

But when it comes to how Gary Lineker would fit into today's England set up, the BBC man fancies his chances. "Oh, very nicely I would have thought," he grins.

Despite all the nearly moments, you can't deny Lineker's phenomenal goal scoring record of 298 professional goals, but when you've netted that many it must make it hard to pick the best.

"That is a tricky one" he puzzles. "I tend to judge my goals by importance rather than quality, being someone who scored so many tap ins, so my best goal was probably the most important one, the first one against Poand in 1986. I'd gone a few games without scoring and the team were under pressure. That goal changed everytling, the team went on to win, I scored a hat trick and went on to be top scorer in the World Cup.' And what abou; the secret behind his remarkable consistency? Says a proud Lineker, "I think I knew ho'N to score goals really. lt's all at:out gambling, attacking space, guessing where the ball is going to go and getting n front of defenders

so that when the ball comes to you there is an easy chance."

Blimey, I wonder how much you would have to pay for that sort of coaching advice... But that does raise the issue of whether Lineker ever considered a move into management - it is, after all, a path several of his old England team-mates have followed. "No!" he cries emphatically. "Firstly, it's just not me. The people who are really successful at it have enormous enthusiasm while for me, some days I felt up for it and some days

"'I'm close to snapping now,' he informs me, ominously. Steady on Gary, I tell him, it's not worth it it's all on tape you know."

I didn't. Secondly I think that it is a thankless task with even the most successful ones looking permanently miserable." Ah, so that explains Alex Ferguson's permanent frown.

There is no doubt, though, that Lineker played under some top class managers, so who was the best? "I would say Terry Venables was definitely the best coach I played under. The difference between him and all the rest was probably that the others would get the team to play a certain way while he was constantly pushing you to improve your game around the team."

Another astonishing fact about Lineker's career is that not only was he never sent off, but he was never even shown a yellow card in over 600 games - a statistic that has earned him the reputation of being football's Mr Nice Guy. But where did all that aggression go - or is it still inside waiting to burst out some day in an anarchistic rampage? "I'm close to snapping now," he informs me, ominously. Steady on Gary, I tell him, it's not worth it - it's all on tape you know. But having calmed down again, he replies: "There are three reasons for it really. Firstly I have got a pretty good temper. Secondly, I always thought that the job of playing football was so difficult that I had to remain focussed and thirdly I never made a tackle in my life, so there was never any chance for me to mis-time one."

The combination of this attitude and, of course, his prolific goal scoring made him a fans' favourite. However, Lineker does have a few misgivings about his treatment from the paying masses. "I've always had the same damn chant," he laments. "Ever since I started at Leicester it's been, 'Oh Gary Gary, Gary Gary Gary Lineker.' Shameful, but he must have had some good heckles? "The worst one I had was at Chelsea when we arrived there early and I was signing kids autographs," he cringes, -r the memory obviously still fresh in his mind. "A voice

came from above screaming, 'You better not dive today Lineker you effing w ..ker', which wasn't very pleasant, and it came from a woman." So much for the fairer sex. lt is only six years since Gary Lineker retired from

professional football , but in that time the game has changed beyond recognition, with increased television coverage, higher profile players and most importantly astronomical wages for top players. So does he ever feel that he was born a decade too soon? Lineker looks philosophical and smiles wryly.

"If it wasn't for Japan I'd be a bitter and twisted old pro. Obviously I would be earning vast sums of money if I was playing now, bJt I don't care - l'.m quite happy with my lot. lt also helps that I have found a life after football."

For most ex-footballers who reject coaching, the afterlife is a sort of purgatory based around pub

"Of course it was difficult taking over from Des. lt's much easier taking over from someone who is crap at their job." ownership and the occasional after dinner speech.

Not so for Gary Lineker, who has got himself a "Saturday job", as he calls it, presenting the BBC's top football show, Match of the Day, and a permanent residence on They Think lt's All Over.... And, of course, there is also that little snacks sideline. 1t appears that it is no accident, though, that he has become something of a media darling.

"Even in my twenties I saw television as a vehicle for a life after football. I wanted to professionally present rather than just be a pundit because it is more challenging and there is a greater longevity," explains Gary. "Before I went to Japan I came and did some pundit work on Match of the Day and did some presenting on Radio 5 Live. This was all geared to when I came back and I started doing some presenting with a view

to presenting Football Focus [the BBC's pre-match programme during Grandstandj."

Certainly no fluke then, but the big break came when Des decided to move to the "other side" last year giving him the chance to host the Beeb's flagship sports 'show.

The question, though, is whether there was a master plan to supersede BBC legend and Match of the Day maestro Des Lynam? "You can rest assured that it was a total shock when Des went to ITV. I mean, I was the number two football presenter at the time and to me it was a good opportunity because if you're a football presenter Match of the Day is the programme to do." Hmm, no conspiracy then. But what was it like taking over from the housewives' favourite?

"Of course it was difficult taking over from Des. If you take over from someone who is brilliant at what they do it is very hard. it's much easier taking over from someone who is crap," he says. "But at the same time it wasn't something I was particularly worried about. I've got my way of doing things and perhaps have a certain insight into the game that Des didn't, having played the game professionally. We're totally different though, Des is very clever and witty and I am not."

There's also the issue of the moustache thing, although it seems unlikely Lineker would want to follow Lynam to that extent. "I couldn't," he chuckles, "I'd love to, it's of my ambitions, but no, they are a bit passe aren't they." Yeah, a bit ITV. Match of the Day may not be the perfect platform for Gary's comic talents, or lack of, but his other major TV venture, the comedy panel game They Think lt's All Over, provides the opportunity for at least some laughs. Sighs Gary, "I don't even try to compete with the professional comics. If you get one or two laughs in a show then you're happy. In fact it's quite scary trying to be funny. But we're not there for that, we're there to have the piss taken out of us."

But it's not only Gary and fellow captain David Gower

" 'I don't even try to compete with the professional comics. If you get one or two laughs in a show then you're happy." who come in for stick from the resident comics and Nick Hancock. What about the other guests? "People like Frankie Detorri are always a good bet because they are willing to have a laugh at themselves. My favourite, though, was David Campesi [a former Australian rugby captain] because he took the whole thing so seriously and definitely thought that it was A Question of Sport."

But for many people it is not Gary's presenting work, or even his footballing achievements that make him memorable. Rather it is his penchant for a certain brand of snacks. "Among the young kids that is all I'm known for, but it doesn't really bother me." And how many crisps have to be consumed while shooting the average advert? "Lots and lots and lots," he says gleefully. "They do take after take and I usually get it wrong." Surely not on purpose, though.

As Gary departed to watch football matches in preparation for the evening's show I realised there was one more question I should have asked him. No, nothing to do with football or serious television broadcasting. Not even trying to dig out some dirt on football's Mr Nice. No, the question missing was simply: What is Gary Lineker's favourite flavour of crisps?

Oh well, I bet it would have been Salt and Lineker anyway.

Left: Lineker and Lynam go head to head

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The Spanish island of Ibiza.is known for sex, drugs, and serious clubbin'. Clare Hamilton-Eddy.went and found that the reputation is justified ... f enhancing your knowledge of the Spanish language is your aim, then Ibiza is probably not the place to go. 1t is, in truth, nothing but a British colony, where every summer thousands of clubbers from all over the United Kingdom gather to party non-stop for weeks.

Indeed, a meeting with an actual Spaniard can be considered something of a rare opportunity: firstly, there do not appear to be many natives on the island (most are probably forced to hibernate in the summer months through sheer terror); and secondly, most Brits only surface for a bite to eat at around eight in the evening.

From my experience, some have even mastered the skill of waking up still drunk, staggering to the fridge and, without saying anything to theirapparently dead mates (or strangers, depending on how good the night was) around them, starting the drinking process all over again.

So what is the appeal of going to a place which is full ot English youths trying to get as drunk, stoned, and highly sexed as possible? Let's face it, it's not for the intellectual side of things.

Conversation is rare, thanks largely to the fact that everyone sleeps all day and drinks all night. Then there's the sad fact that the island attracts people who should have spent less time in the pub and more time at school. 1t is, however, amazing how quickly everyone learns to communicate with each other. The common language seems to be a slurred series of grunts usually culminating in the word 'shag'.

Uving a nocturnal existence surrounded by

apparently brain dead party-zombies may not be everyone's cup of tea. But there is a special air to the place that makes you want to stay forever.

Exhausted after a long trip, my three mates and I felt ready to crash out when the coach pulled up outside our apartment block in the middle of the night. We could hardly keep our eyes open and were all for going strainght to bed and waking up the next morning for one of the many water sports that we had planned. But the next morning never came. Why? Because an hour later we were all out on the streets of San Antonio, wearing next to

take your suitcase up to your room rather too well.

Despite being tired and already hungover from the exertions of the first night, we decided, perhaps rather stupidly, to set our alarms early in order to get a glimpse of the daylight missed by so many Brits. Being rather unaccustomed to the extreme heat, this was, in hindsight, not the best of ideas.

Dozing off by the side of the pool is not recommended, but at least we were all in the same boat. For the rest of the holiday none of us could sit or lie down and would have fared well in a lobster lookalike competition. But alcohol soon numbs the pain.

From then on, everything seems to blur into one.

Each night I amazed myself at how much more alcohol, dancing and 'other customary habits' I could handle. Our first major club night was Cream's opening party at Amnesia This is a huge venue boasting Aztec-like decor, complete with trees emerging from the floor. The party consisted nothing (because of the heat, obviously) and of 10,000 sweaty revellers all dancing wildly to the downing copious amounts of alcohol, ready to booming house and dance that continued until morning. I say dancing, but really everyone was party the night away. just bopping their heads frantically - dance moves The atmosphere is so electric that it takes hold of even the most reserved people, creating raving are somewhat limited when you are squashed in lunatics, obsessed with sex and alcohol. The like sardines. Nevertheless, some people were buzzing ambience really brought out the chants determined to dance as wildly as they could, and wolf whistles from the male population. They regardless of others around them, leaving us not only red as beetroot but also bruised and missing were obviously eager to check out the talent - or arguable lack of it - and plan the next nights' toes. conquests. But despite this everyone seems to be Getting used to extreme sleep deprivation and having a constant hangover proved to be best friends and before long, you realise that you've come to know the bloke who helped you surprisingly easy. However, we were a little . . - - - - - -- -- - - -- -- - -- -- - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -- -- -......-----. shocked by the cruise that we had agreed to'when slightly inebriated the night before. This day trip to Cala Bassa, a small island just off the lbizen coast, restored my faith in TV, proving that those gorgeous tropical scenes really do exist.

Being surrounded by clear blue sea, sand and palm trees is enough to inspire even the most tired or hung over. And there is plenty to do in such a paradise. Not only can you partake in numerous water sports, there is also the opportunity to go snorkelling - an amazing experience in such clear waters. And no one can leave the island without going on the famous banana boat ride, which left me scared for my life. The driver had the rather annoying habit of dragging the banana as close as he could to the jagged rocks, turning around, spitefully grinning, and then jerking the boat away from the dangerous edges of the caves.

-~-- Perhaps the Spanish were finally ~~~~ taking revenge.

I

"The common language seems to be a slurred series of grunts usually culminating in the word 'shag'."

The nightlife never dies on this vibrant island.

During the first week we ventured to Es Paradis, a club in San Antonio renowned for its alternative nights. This small but luxurious venue sports a totally white interior with many different levels including the roof top where you can relax and have a drink gazing up at the stars. But the main feature of this night is the dance floor which, come the morning, miraculously transforms into a · swimming pool. This is when I learnt that wearing white was not such a good idea.

Inspired by this strange club night, we returned to Amnesia for the foam party. Now, this is not a few bouncers squeezing fairy liquid, as it usually is in UK clubs. We are talking six foot high foam here, and I lost my sight, hearing and ability to breathe. I also completely lost my bearings after a lad rather bigger than myself decided that it would be funny to hold me down in the masses of foam. But the night did not end there. What we weren't told was that you couldn't get a taxi when covered in foam.

Leaving an Skm, 6am walk back.

No article on Ibiza would be complete without a

"Each night I amazed myself at how much more alcohol, dancing . and 'other customary habits' I could handle." mention of the infamous Westend. This is the starting point of everyone's night, right in the heart . of San Antonio. With over 45 pubs and clubs in one street, it is the main scene of the island. This is where people like to be seen, especially those who dress outrageously. lt is also where English promoters attempt to drag you into their venues, convincing drunken youths that their pub is better and cheaper than the rest. Ideal for pub crawls, this street can be extremely dangerous, as we found out. Armed with £40 Manu mission tickets and preparing to witness the world's greatest live sex show, we started off our final night bidding adieu to all the pubs in the Westend that had been our home for two weeks. Unfortunately, the cheap drinks, electric atmosphere and sheer quantity of everything soon got the better of us and before we knew it, the sun was shining. And ... we were still there. But what's £40 between friends? 1t had been a great night out despite having missed the pleasures of Manumission.

Ibiza is a place which, in my opinion, you can visit again and again without getting bored. Indeed, the only advice I would give someone planning to go this year is to find some old snaps of that sunny holiday in Newquay to look at afterwards. Mum still can't understand why I have no pictures and so few - blurred - memories of a place that still brings a smile to my face every time I think of it.

18 FEATURED

www.concrete-online.co.uk

C ONCRE'Tl: WEDNESDAY, MARCH 15, 2000

The bitter End? like to think of myself as a studious type. I've got this far, it's costing me a lot of money, and I'm thinking I might as well make the most of it. So, in my pursuit of the perfect grade I often make the trek from the Hive to the library. Perhaps not as often as I should, but often enough to notice one glaring solecism on the way. There's the Union bookshop, the Union travel shop, and somewhere in between ... an Endsleigh branch. Big blue sign, annoying adverts in the window. A sign on the door that says "back in five minutes" (five minutes from when?).

Now, personally, I sorted out my insurance over the phone. In no time at all. On a freephone number. I didn't need someone to hold my hand as I filled in the form and I was able to do it in the comfort of my own home. And try as I might, I can't actually recall the last time I saw someone in this Endsleigh outlet filling out a policy. So what mystifies me is why Endsleigh need a campus branch, especially when there's one in the city centre.

Let's look at the facts here. Endsleigh advertise

I

practically everywhere a student is likely to venture. What's on those adverts? A freephone number. What do most students have access to?

..------------ - ==.. ,. .- -r---.

A telephone. This isn't rocket science, guys. 1t doesn't take a genius to figure out that the reason Why this Endsleigh is always empty is because the average student gets their insurance at the beginning of the year, generally over the phone, and when they have a problem they phone the helpline again to sort it out. They do not walk past the Endsleigh on campus and think, "My God, I knew there was something I had forgotten."

I don't know how much Endsleigh are actually paying for this very valuable space in Union House, but I suspect it is not a great deal of money. I can also think, off the top of my head, of a good few schemes that would provide a more useful service to students and could well prove to be big money-spinners for the Union. How about a video rental outlet? lt could even hire and sell computer games at the same time. Or maybe a second hand record store. Or, if you felt like giving students something really useful, how about a chemists?

Let's face it, virtually anything would make more sense than an insurance outlet.

Luke Hayward

If you didn't get Insurance when you moved In, you are unlikely to bother now Wise words: Aldous Huxley 1894-1963 "Those who believe they are exclusively in the right are generally those who achieve something. " Point Counter Point

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Q) g)

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Straw poll Proportion of students who think they live in a rather pleasant, hygeinic and tidy house.

What does an acupuncturist do?

The basic idea is to treats the whole person. You will need to study case histories in depth, taking in to account the physical, emotional and mental symptoms of the patient.

Stimulation of the body's vital energy is then achieved by inserting needles below the skin at precise energy channels, and sometimes through buming special herbs over the body to restore health.

How do I get into it?

Qualifications aren't • necessary to be elligible for the training, but you can gain exemption from part of the course with a relevant medical or science degree.

Employers are mostly looking for enthusiasm, maturity and life experience, although excellent hand-eye co-ordination is obviously essential, as is not being squeamish around needles.

Does it pay well?

An average starting salary is

coci<.'S ToVf<NEY

around £10,000. As a part-time position this could provide a welcome addition to the bank balance, but if you're looking for a career it might be better to start up a practice. Most full-time acupuncturists are self·emptoyed.

How do I find out more?

The British Acupuncture Council produces leaflets and sets the standards for all other professional bodies.

You should go to an acupuncturist for treatment

and quiz the practitioner to try and get some tips and information.

Anything else I should know?

Acupuncture has often suffered from an association with hippies and masochists. lt is now widely recognised as a serious practice involving precise treatment and careful analysis. Some training programmes offer excellent prospects for travel to China or Japan to team from the masters.

Student speak 1t all kicked off at the Brits last week, as Robble challenged Liam to a f ight to resolve their public row. With the exTake Thatter offering to put up £100,000 for the bout and promotors everywhere looking to cash In on the deal, we asked UEA students who they thought would win. And, more Important ly, did they really care?

I reckon that Ricky Martin should come along and give them both a good spanking.

Emlly Aldous SOC1 I think that they should take the money and buy themselves lives. lzidora Angel SOC1 I think that Liam would win as he would probably take some form of cocaine or something and go off on one. But it is all a media stunt, something to sell records really.

Seb Keefe SOC3 I reckon that Liam should do the People's Elbow and a choke slam and then Palsy Kensit should enter the ring and do a clothes line.

Sundeep Jouhal MGT3 I would just like to see Robbie Williams dead, I don't particularly care who does it.

James Allinson MGT3 Neither of them as they are both prats and I couldn't care less.

Klrsty Holden 8103 I don't really give a toss but I want Robbie to win as he's got a really cute nose.

Simon Templer ENV3 I think that Robbie would win as he is

Well, most people don't seem to like · either of them anyway, but Robbie is UEA's favourite t o win the bout.

CONCRETE WEDNESDAY, MARCH

www.concrete-online.co.uk

15, 2000

The UEA photo casebook ~~===--===~~~--171

lmelda always got Scatty's

Eh up! She's sent me this email but it's meant to

.

'

FEATURED 17

Strike a light, I'll get that hussy if it's the last thing I do.

11 m 1yht IJe worth your while

A few days later the campus was covered in posters advertising a new website . .................................................................................................................................................................... ············---·············· ···································································································································· .......................................................

moker's I • N '

aradise?

\1

Is the nation's anti smoking attitude justified?

Denny Coote and Debbi Mareo investigate ...

____________________--A

lt t

Kl NG SI ZF.

on smoking day on Wednesday. March 8 may have passed you by in a puff of smoke. but this millennium more people than ever are determined to quit smoking: 70 per cent of smokers say they want to give up, according to Yvette Cooper, the Public Health minister. And the pressure that smokers are now under to quit is also on the rise. The government has launched its "Don't give up giving up" campa1gn , while many television celebrities are qu1tting the habit. and encouraging audiences to do the same . Take, for example, the wonderful. "Kick it with Dale... Yes. Dale Winton is giving up smoking, and is offering to help others follow his example. Personally I'd rather run round a supermarket trying to find enormous pieces of fruit.

Smoking 15 cigarettes a day means you will spend £1000 a year funding your habit, and next month's budget is likely to make it even more expensive.

As well as the cost, another obvious drawback is the effect it has on your health . However, the seriousness of these effects are now being questioned by the publication of a new study. Or Ken Denson of the Thame Thrombosis and Haemotosis Research Foundation in Oxford has released a controversial report which claims that "10 a day" smokers are not risking their health -as long as they have a healthy, vitamin rich diet. it

also concludes that passive smoking does not carry great risks either.

This goes against the accepted wisdom that smoking is the major cause of lung cancer and heart disease, and also devalues the risk of passive smoking from ETS (Environmental

"A controversial new report claims 10 a day smokers are not risking their health, as long as they have a healthy vitamin rich diet."

Tobacco Smoke). ETS is a mixture of the smoke given off by the end of a cigarette, and the smoke exhaled by smokers. The most dangerous form of ETS for non-smokers is that which goes directly 1nto the air. also known as sidestream ETS. Some regard this as more harmful than actually smoking.

Does this mean that being a non-smoker at the LCR 1s more dangerous than being a smoker?

Probably not. Many more smokers die of smoking related diseases than non·smokers. However, reports such as Or Densen's question the extent to which non-smokers are at risk from smoking related diseases. Most research revolves around the health of non-smoking women married to

smokers, 1n comparison to single non-smoking women . The results show that women who are married to smokers are more likely to get lung cancer, but they do not take into account the extent of their husband's habit. If anything, the number of women who did contract lung cancer was always very low, so some might say that there has been something of a 'panic' over the dangers of passive smoking.

Nevertheless , we are becoming an increasingly anti-smoking nation. Pubs are looking to dispel their dingy, smoky reputation by installing better ventilation and non-smoking areas. Despite only 28 per cent of the adult population indulging in the habit, half of all regular pub goers smoke. But apparently, a less smoky atmosphere has boosted pub takings by an average of 7 per cent. On top of this smoking has been banned from offices, and even execut1ves now stand in doorways, trying to sneak a quick fag like naughty schoolchildren . If this is all because of an exaggerated response to passive smoking, is it fair? For most of us,including non smokers the answer has to be yes. Non-smokers may not die of lung cancer because their flatmates choose to smoke like chimneys, but breathing in another person's smoke does still affect their immediate well being.

Smoking can cause eye , nose, throat and ear irritations, as well as thumping headaches.

Pass1ve or active, the Government has committed itself to even more strict limitations on the advertising of cigarettes.

In the end it is death to the smoker, whichever way you look at it.

18 FEATURED

www.concrete-online.co.uk

CONCRETE W EDNESDAY , M ARCH

15, 2000

Horoscopes

Concrete Prize Crossword #04

Across 4. A pm,sage throu gh air/ space (6)

I. Type of bedding

6. Wind in strument (8)

(6)

2. Very well sui ted or

9. Stevenson's first train (6)

expressed ( I 0) 3. oisy parrot (8) 4. Wandering in searc h of food (8) 5. Ri se (8) 7. Affectionate form of address (6) 8. The Lone Range r did thi s to Silver (4) 12. Strik ing repeated ly ( I0) 13. Someone who breaks away and settles in a new land (8) I-I. Tidal waves (8) 16. Th e offense of killin g a kin g (8) 19. Sixth planet from the sun (6) 20. Region (-I ) 2 1. Angled tool for culling wood (-I)

I0. Female dairy worker (8) I I. Theatrica l make up ( I0) 15. A questionab le remedy (7) 17. Potentl y sce nted (7) 18. The Lorry Dri ver's cafe (6.5) 22. Mock and make fun of (8) 23. Inner courtya rd open to the sky (6) 24. Changing for the better (8) 25. Free (6)

Issue 110 solution

m

This issue there's a £10 book voucher from Waterstones up for grabs - ideal all those course book purchases. Fill in your name and a contact number/ e-mail address below, and put your completed grid in the competition box in the Hive before Wednesday, March 22.

•

Aries

March 21 - Ap ri l 20

You are shooting for the top at the moment. Don't let any second though ts stand in your way, go for what you want and you are sure to achieve it. Just remember that too much control of any situation is a bad thing: go with the flow and let things happen .

,.

.................... .T~_l:!.f.l.J.? ...........................................J\pr_i_I__ ~~---~-~-~-Y.-~.1 .

Your conscience is nagging at yo u yet again -what have you been up to? Those little mi sdemeanours w ill soon catch up with you, so it might be wi se to play by the rules for the next few weeks at least. Even if it isn't as exciting it wi ll be a lot si mpler!

May 22 - June 21 Friends take up a lot of your time at the moment, but there is some interesting gossip that will come your way and cheer you up. Though you find it hard to keep secrets, you will be better in the long run for being subtle about it.

Cance r

Being successful can be scary, but don't let others get the better of you . Wh ile you seem to thi nk that all work and no play is the best po licy, you don't want to lose that sense of adventure that everyone knows you for.

Name: .. ....... ..... .... .. ..... .. .. .............. .................... .... .... ... ....... .

Contact: ........... ... ... .................................. .... .... ... ................ .. .

Last issue's lucky book voucher winner was Andy Hard .

June 22 - J u ly 22

J"''23:~"'"''''

_ . Leo

Our lions are in the mood to follow whatever whims come their way. You will be going off to do someth ing crazy and then go back to tell yo ur friends all about it. You like being th e cen tre of attention, so all this action should suit you dow n to the ground !

- ~- -· · '!!.r.8.C?. ...... . . . . ... . ....~U. 9.U._s_t_~_3__~- ~ -P.t~.rT1~_e.r_ ?~-

You and your partne r look like you are on a bit of a collision course. Compro mise before you reach a point of no return .

Taking a break might be the best re medy, so take yo ur mates and get away from it all. Travel seems to be the best option now .

September 24 - October 23 Break your habit of starting things and never finishing them.

Everyone seems to want a piece of you at the moment, and you feel as though you're being pulled in a million different directions - but watch out for those looming deadlines!

. s . ....

--·~_ :.".'.'. :. .........S.:.?~P.!.C?. ............... ...O..~t?.~~-r -~_4 ~--~-~~~-ITl~.~~--~~,C'~

-~

Pub quiz: Media Censorship

Photographs & Transparencies Reproduced Facsimile Service

NORWICH 01603 623535 Fax 01603 632977 57 A Earl ham Road , Norwich

1) Name the Blair's nanny whose story was pulled from the Mail last week?

2) How can the government stop stories being published to protect "national security"?

3) Which political party had actors speaking for their party leaders until the mid 1990s?

4) Which minister stopped the Telegraph publishing leaked details of the Lawrence report?

5) A researcher for which television programme was arrested after contacting David Shayler?

6) Whose story did Mohammed AI Fayed try to have censored last week?

7) Who forced Star TV to drop BBC World from its schedules for being too independent?

8) Which newspaper baron took out injunctions to stop reporting on his dodgy business deals?

9) Which journalist had his documentary footage on the Zircon spy satelite seized in the 1980s?

10) Which court trial have the BBC failed to win permission to screen? ·wn161as ut IB!JI 6utqwoq a!qJa>t::>Ol a41 (O ~ 11aqdwe::; ueouno (6 llaMXBV'J 1-Jaool:::l (a 1uawUJalloB asau 14::J a41 (L sauor saal:::l JOIIaJl (9 pnpOld tfpaWO:J Sf3WOI..fl >flr3W 8/..fl (S MBJIS >t::>er 'i\.JejaJ::>aS aWOH a41 (t;> U!a::J UU!S (£ Sa::>!IOU-0 46n0J41 (l S>tJBV\J SOI:::l ( ~ SJaMSU\f

__ Working fast and furiously can all get a bit overwh elming in th e end. Relax and spend time with friends . That special someone who has set your heart aglow recently will pay you attention as well , so make sure you are ready fo r some lurve action!

21

- ~~-- · · ?..?.g_i_~_?._r_~ _~ _S.______~~-~~-rT1~.~-~- ~~--~ - ~~~-~rT1.~~~-~-~-

Look out for a mi ssed message or co mmunication - someone interesti ng co uld be trying to get in touch. Th is co uld help with some of that confusion you have been feeling recently. Don't theorise· over every1hing , experien ce is the best teacher.

~ c:apr jC:()[Jl

De" mbe• 22 : Jan"a'Y 20

You have been a bit like a bear with a sore head rece ntly.

Nearly everyone has felt your wrath , and you are finding it hard to be patient with anyone. But just because people don't agree with yo ur opinions it doesn't mean they think the less of you!

•

;,· pc;!~e·a~Sgf.fi,1 ·~~-neecl' -io-ie~7-~ir:-f-~ itaif~:~-~ry-- ~- ~•

situation. The last few weeks have been a bit of a minefield, but things will start to pick up. Look forward to having fun and becomi ng the social butterfly that you know you should be! _

Pisces

February 20 - March 20

Money isn't everything, but it is nice to have some! The cash flow hasn't been exactly great of late, but then you will insist on going out and spending money, won 't you! Learn to economise, so you can enjoy the Easter break in style!

featured words Outrageous Dad, I want you to know, I've got no morals.

I bite pillows.

I like the company of men.

A Short Explanation as to Why Love is Dead in the Modern World

Dad, did I put that delicately enough for you?

I hang around in clubs with men in tutus, with pink hair-dos and ear rings, and eyebrow rings, and nipple rings all manner of piercings where they shouldn't have been seen.

You wouldn't approve.

But I feel a new man whenever I want!

lt's a more lucrative business.

He keeps telling the others: "Guys.

You've got to get with the times."

You can tell all your golfing partners to kiss my arse.

And you can send all my things to my new address in Sodom.

P.S. Tell mum that's a fabulous dress and may I borrow it?

Cupid likes the city.

He likes braces and brief-cases.

He likes 'doing' lunch.

He has a cellular phone.

Venus calls him sometimes asks him when he's coming home.

Alex Sehmer

Alex Sehmer

An Epilogue

until it's one in the morning, and it's raining in London, and we find a black cab and go home.

I thought, when I first saw her again after two years, rearranging roses in the flower shop she'd shaved her head, but Alison, - she's the clever one of the three of us, and read a few books in her time she's got cancer in the brain. (And that's why).

But she says she agrees with Camus about Sisyphus and Graham plays on the piano, a few strained notes, and we have a few more drinks

multiracial love: sometimes when we walk down the street . sometimes they look at you first sometimes me I hate it but, when you look into me and I into you sometimes I forget Claude Brown

Cupid wears a suit now he commutes to the city.

He's shed that excess poundage and runs a dating agency in Soho.

With adjoining massage parlour.

Even now I'm not as smart as Alison but Graham, I know you lost all your tears a year ago, but Graham, do you remember when on the anniversary of Diana's death we walked past that colourful collage at Kensington?

You took a flower and put it with the rest. After all She was, you said, a very wonderful lady.

Alex Sehmer

A bad day Today, I don't believe in accidents I don't believe in errors of judgement And I certainly don't believe in fate For today, I believe only in good and evil Only in black and white And not grey Today, you are either with me Or you are against me What will it be?

Because today, I know That somebody out there Has got it in for me Claude Brown

Party with a Stranger At first we egged each other on We smiled Played with words Hollow worn (Especially me) Until You spoke to me plainly And asked me for my truth My thoughts stumbled (What?)

Considered their escape (Why should I?) But in the end They could not run from those eyes Eyes I recognised I attempted to answer While they listened And as we talked Your eyes began to weep And I knew Those tears They didn't belong just to you (Or me) That is why I felt no shame As I looked Into those eyes Eyes

(I felt) I knew so well Eyes Eyes that struggled Struggled to revert to reflecting a different shade of blue (Similar to my own) But In the end They did Because (Because they knew the drill:) Tonight They must be strong They must be strong They must be strong Tonight They must keep on There's nothing wrong (There's nothing wrong) Claude Brown

Submissions for this page (short stories, 1800 words max, and poetry) should be made to Kris Siefken in the Concrete office, or emailed to su.concrete@uea.ac.uk. Please include a contact number or email address.

All rights revert to the author upon publication, although subsequent publications should acknowledge prior appearance in Concrete.

I V>-

c 0 路-c :I

advertisement from the students union

Housing Week 20-24th March Events The Housing Stall in Union House will be staffed from llam to 3pm, Monday to Thursday and lOam to 3pm on friday Here, information will be provided and questions answered on all housing issues. the information includes a checklist of what to look for in a student property.

Monday, 20th March 2000 1.15pm-2.15pm Housing Social Event for 2nd year Students looking for other 2nd year students to form a household. (Union House Room 1.33} Tuesday, 21st March 2000 2.15pm-3.15pm Housing Social Event for Postgraduate Students looking for other Postgraduate students to form a household. (Union House Room 1.33} 3.30pm-5.00pm Contract Checking and Housing Advice Workshop (20 spaces, please sign up in the Student Advice centre or email Molly Price on G260@uea.ac.uk, if you would like to join this event.} Wednesday, 22nd March 2000 4.15pm-5.15pm Housing Social Event for Year Abroad students 2000/0llooking for other year abroad students to form a household in 2001/02. (Union House Room 1.33} 7.30pm Housing and "South Park" Quiz in The Hive Thursday, 23nl march 2000 12.15pm-1.15pm Housing Social Event for 1st year students looking for other 1st year students to form a household. (Union House Room 1.28} 3.30pm-5.00pm Contract Checking and Housing Advice Workshop (20 spaces, please sign up in the Student Advice Centre or email Molly Price on G260@uea.ac.uk, if you would like to join this event.} 6.00pm-7 .OOpm Housing Panel Event in Lecture Theatre 1 {**The housing list for the 2000/01 academic year will be released to those students attending this event at 7pm, and to other students on Friday 24th March 2000 at lO.OOam) Friday, 24th March 2000 lOam 2000/01 Housing List released to rest of student population (See Thursday**} 1.15pm-2.15pm Housing Social Event for any students wishing to make up households of various types for the 2000/01 academic year. (Union House Room 1.33} 5.00pm-7 .OOpm Opportunity for students wanting to meet up with prospective housemates to do so in The Hive

·-

•

ous n Three students were employed by the Student Advice centre to conduct interviews with current UEA students living off-campus in rented accommodation. 238 students were interviewed. Answers to the questions regarding: standards of service; problems; and good practice, are given below, although not all students answered each question.

Ho eR

.....,....

Of tile &8 res,1~elb. W aM llelle lu, tile Uliol

. Bnu: (free senice

):

49% considered it 49% considered it 2% found it

Of tile •• ,......- ... . . . . .Id: effective adequate ineffective

77% found them effective 33% found them adequate

ul used the UfA computer system to find my house which was ideal since I could look the houses up at home on the computer." uvou just got a list of houses, but it was useful." uloo many people, not enough houses- out of date sometimes." uNot enough houses or up to date into." urt was very quick."

"Very difficult to find a house not already taken." urt provided me with the information I required and helped me make agood decision."

Property Letting Agents Of tile 34" ........~.- . . . aM lilt

··•••at

12% found them effective 41% found them adequate 47% found them ineffective

16%

Prolet (ProitertJ Lltting Jpat)

had experienced serious disrepair that was not corrected within a reasonable period of time after it was reported. had experienced non-emergency visits by landlords/agents/contractors for which they were not given 24 hours notice. had experienced the non-return of damage deposits, which they thought was unfair.

.....-..far

Good ,...ctice . . foaM to be 11011 pmlleat tllu ltad, d reports "340 iat.es " good ,I'ICtice lllla were: 44% 32% 24%

repairs made swiftly. damage deposits used fairly and returned in good time.

Willingness to provide/replace essential facilities (e.g. bed) where they were in adequate and tenants informed the landlord.

linen regring tile best alltOI'It aspects crf ICCOIIfNiatiolwen nrW, bit by fir tile IIIOSt COIIIIOIIIISWin were:

111111 Prol.et

66% found them effective 34% found them adequate

40% 44%

"Repairs unmade after constant requests, rude and abusive staff." usix bloody months to fix a toilet handle."

"Our boiler was knackered, it took two months to fix." uThe .... guy who worked there accused us of subletting."

"Did none of the repairs needed. Poor." uNumerous problems e.g. building work not finished when supposed to, admin glitches." uProblems not sorted out in house unless you keep pestering them." uslow responses to problems."

Of tile 38 people

lnfonaation on other agencies mentioned by res110ndents is available on request in the Student Advice Centre

Best: ·

Location, size of rooms/property

Worst:

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= ..·- ==-.- = ..-.. ==--- = ..~.. .,....

1 MONDAY- 1-2pm Workshop on

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..... Environmental Menstruation Methods Rm 1.33 Union House

I••••• I....

I

TUESDAY- 2-3pm Namarda Dam project in India - Slides and Talk ..... The issues-dam building, land rights and indigeous peoples. 6.30pm Video of the demonstrations in Seattle against the World Trade Organisation free entry in the ..... back bar. ~

I

I.....

WEDNESDAY- 7pm-Nonviolent alternatives to the bombing in Kosovo. Debate with speakers organised by peace society. LT2.

THURSDAY - In the Hive at the LCR-Iocal DJs - Techno ••••• with global attitude. Into stall-video linkFRIDAY - 12pm Is Over consumption wrecking ••••• our planet? Arts building 2.02 Speaker-Peter Dwyer - 4.30pm ..... CRITICAL MASS • STARTS OUTSIDE LCR STALlS IN THE HIVE FROM: .....

Green peace Greenhouse .....

Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament Not in our Names Eco-direct action .....

Banana link Green party •••••

.....I

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I

ENVIRONMENT WEEK 13TH-17TH MARCH

,. ., i"

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. f. The university is moving closer to adopting an ethical investment .. .,

1

.....

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•····

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Walk I Cycle or Skate around the campus.

Show the university that:~ Non car users count! ~ We need better facilities!

4.30 Friday March 17th at the LCR

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1

policy but your support is needed now!!!

The working party for ethical investment has put forward its recommendations to council. lt recommends that ethical ••,••, investment can be implemented in stages with periodical reviews.

To remind council how important this issue is to students, please do one of the following: Sign the slip and post it in the box at reception in the Hive.

Come along to the stall on Tuesday 14th March for postcard signing and much much more! Write your own letter to your favourite council member...

•....

THE CHOICE IS YOURS!

j" 'j j' I

J... **************••:::;r:;;:t:~~;::;~;;;:~;~n·t~::••• ~~ I decision to recommend ethical investment and would like to show j" my support for this decision and urge council to take up these 1 recommendations on 27th March.

•.... ..... Signed...........................................................

I 1 Sch/year........................................ . ~ ...., h,,.

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Thursday 4th May 2000 Union House, the Hive

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• UEA Travel-Clinic staff on hand to answer questions on immunisation and more.

• Nomad Medical - student travel insurance and supplies • Travel books on sale

Don't leave it too late!!!

Come along and find out more.

Grad Ball 20 0

.planni g meeting.

Thursday, 16th March 12 o'clock in the LCR Your chance to have a say on your last night at UEA Entertainment - Food - Location You tell us!"

rags to riches :a a ction HUGH GRANT signed video yellow nokia phone minicall pager YSL shirt Animal watch Pierre Cardin scarf Theatre tickets Sherbourne Hotel Restuarnt Voucher Celebrity signed photos ~-~ Chris Tarrant, Geoff Hurst, etc ••••and over 100 more

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.....___.

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24 SPORT

www.concrete-online.co.uk

CONCRETE WEDNESDAY, MARCH 15, 2000

LOCAL LEAGUE TABLES

LOCAL FIXTURES

HOCKEY

TUESDAY, MARCH 14

Martin &Acock Norfolk Women's League Division 1 Old Buckenham 1 UEA 1 Norwich City 2 Beccles Sprowston 1 Evergreens Watton 2 Dereham 3 Pelicans 2 Broadland 2

-

\

p

w

d

16 16 16 16 15 15 16 16 16 16

12 10 10

2 3 2 3 2 5 2

9 8 6 5 5 2

f 2

46 35 30 28 37 39 30 17 17

3 4 4 5 4 9 10 13 14

8

a Pts 8

9 17 12 21 21 34 34 61 69

38 33 32 30 26 23 17 16 7

4

Evergreens 2 Loddon 2 Pelicans Colts Magpies 5 Lowestoft Railway路 Broadland 3 Yarmouth 3 Breckland UEA 3 Diss Harriers "Points deducted

p

w

d

9 8 8 7 7

6 6 5 4 6 3 5 5

6 18 16 18 18 18 16 18 19

7

6 6 8 4

f 2

33

1 2 7 3 8

31 28 23 36 30 27 18 24 18 12

8 7 6

2 2

12 16

2

p

w

d

16 16 16 17 16 15 15 17 16 15 17 0

14 12 12 9 8 8 7 5 3 2 1 0

2

f 0 1 4

3 0

78 75 36 34 39 36 33 33 21 24 18 0

7 7

6 8 11

1 0 1 3 1 1 0

10 12 15

0

Denver Yarmouth 2 Old Buckenham 2 UEA 2 Dereham Fillies Norwich Union 3 Magpies Colts B Magpies 4 Norwich City 4 North Walsham 2

w

d

a Pts

p

w

d

19 19 19 18 19 19 19 19 18 18 19 18

12 11 10 10

2

6 13 17 13 34 28 29 15

44 67

33 30 30 25 24 24 23 23 20 14 7

Gorleston Bury St Edmunds 2 Pelecans 2 UEA Holt Harlequins Norwich City 2 Broad land Harleston Mags 3 Lowestoft Railway Broadland 2 Bury St Edmunds Dereham 2

77 0

2

2

4 4 6 6 4 4 3

1

2

9 9 8 7 7 5

13 15

Mens 1

44 39 36 28 25 25 21 16 12 7 4 0

Holt Harlequins 2 Bury SI Edmunds 4 Lowestoft Railway 2 Norwich Union 3 Thetford Town 2 North Walshm Norfolk Nomads Watton UEA 3 Gorleston 2 Broadland 4 Pelicans 4

p

w

d

18 19 19 17 18 19 19 19 18 19 18 19

16 12 12

1 4

9

5

3

10

2

8 7 6 5 5 3

5

6

2

2

2

0

10 9 10 13 13 17

4 3 1

101 43 59 48 40 50 41 25 36 22 13 14

10 19 21 18 20 40 41 41 49 66 95 72

Womens

Mid Norfolk Teachers 2 UEA Tasburgh 2 FB12 Norwich Union

Norwich Badminton League Mixed Division 38 p w f 4 6 5 3 6 4

4 3 3

0 3

24

33

2

23 15 15 11

2 2

4

0

a

Pts

12 21 22 12 12 25

4 3 3 2 2

Cri ngleford 2 Castaways Valkyries Chasley UEA

33

1 0 0

90 26 26 7

5

p

w

d

16 15 13 16 16 13 13 13 13 12

14

0 3 1 2

4 0 1 0 0

f 2

118

3

99

1 7 9

94 84 71 67 65 54 29 19

5 7 7 11 12

19.40

V

Mens 4

Mixed

(h)

13.00

V

Norwich Police

(h)

14.00

TABLE TENNIS UEA

V

Norwich Union F

(a)

5

FRIDAY, MARCH 17 49 403 9 32 32 29 23 22 17 16 11 6

BASKETBALL Women

v

Mens 1 Mens 2 Mens 3

V V V

2

RUGBY

12

4

19.30

Trowse Newton Blofield Rangers Exiles

(a) (a) (a)

Holt Harlequins Harleston Magpies t.:stoft Rai lway N'ch City 2 N'ch City 4 Yarmouth 3

(h) (a) (h) (a) (h) (h)

Broadland 1 Broadland 2 Broadland 3 Old Girls

(a) (h) (a)

14.00

(h)

14.00

HOCKEY

0 0

6 38 32 41 27

(a)

FOOTBALL

Mens 1 Mens 2 Mens 3 Womens 1 Womens 2 Womens 3

Pts

Mildenhall

SATURDAY, MARCH 18

V V

V V V V

Mens 1 Mens 2 Mens 3 Women

Norfolk Squash League Division 2

a Pts 42 51 36 76 89 63 65 76 101 101

(h)

9

SQUASH

Norwich and District Table Tennis League Division 5 9 11 8 5 4 6 5 2 0

2

0 0 0 0 0

6 2

Teachers

14.30 16.00 11.30

10.00

0

TABLE TENNIS

Telephones D UEA STS Holburn B Foxwood D Taverham H Old Cation B Concrete WB Briston F Norwich Union F Scorpons B

6 4 3 3

v

FOOTBALL

33 32 31 31 30 27 25 19

.

a

19.40

THURSDAY, MARCH 16

38

BAGMINTON Norwich Badminton League Ladies Division 38 p w f

(h)

HOCKEY

a Pts

f 1 3 4 3 6

Teachers

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 15

Crowe Insurance Men's East Hockey League Division 5 North East

a Pts 12 21 18 34 33 34 26 64 55 53

2 3

34 37 36 30 37 35 47 36 29 40 81 64

67 60 46 41 46 35 60 39 31 29 31 21

V

SQUASH

39 23 24 21 19 16 14 10

a Pts

f 5 6 7 6 6 6 5 6 7 9

Mens 1

a Pts

f

13 13 1 0 68 8 15 11 3 4 41 18 13 8 2 5 24 12 14 6 2 5 22 23 13 6 2 6 21 17 14 4 2 6 20 36 0 7 12 24 13 4 13 3 2 9 14 33 14 0 1 13 8 59 withdrawn from league, records deleted

14

Crowe Insurance Men's East Hockey League Division 4 North East Norwich Union 2 Lowestoft Town Thetford Town H'leston Magpies 4 Norwich City 3 UEA2 Waveney Dereham 3 Broadland 3 Norwich City 4 Pelicans 3 Dereham 4

p

Crowe Insurance Men's East Hockey League Division 3 North East

Martin &Acock Norfolk Women's League Division 4 17 15

BADMINTON

Martin &Acock Norfolk Wom~n's League Division 3

53 41 41 35 27 25 25 21 8 4

Potters UEA Watton North Walsham Barnham Broom Broadland 2 Downham Market Norwich Union Hunstanton East Anglia 3

p

w

11 10 11 11 11 11 12 11

11

7 7 6 2 2

f 0 3 4 4 5 9 10

8

193 142 151 150 138 94 95 70

V

V V

V

SUNDAY, MARCH 19 a Avge 73 100 113 121 123 164 193 146

Teams withdrawn from the league

17.55 14.20 13.73 13.64 12.55 8.55 7.92 7.78

TENNIS UEA A UEA B

V V

Norwich Union A Nth Walsham

(h) 10.30 (a) 10.30 but at UEA

National League

(a)

VOLLEYBALL Men

in

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CoNCRETE W EDNESDAY, M ARCH

15, 2000

SPORT 25

www.concrete-onllne.co.uk

11

Kris Siefken ·delves into the world of genetics to see if GM sports stars are just around the corner.

S

mmer 2008, and the world's television cameras are trained nee more on the Olympic Games.

And records have fallen as never before. In the 100 metres, Dutch athlete, Maarten t' Hoott, stormed to Olympic gold, obliterating the six year-old world record of 9.87 seconds witl'l a staggering 8.73 second run. Two days ago Nigerian, Tomi Somolu, took over 23 minutes off the marathon world record, leaving commentators speechless and crowds stunned.

Nor, it seems, are phenomenal results restricted to track events. Four days ago American swimmer, Aimee Wharton, completed the first clean sweep in Olympic history, winning gold in every single discipline and breaking five world records in the process.

Clearly something is going on .

But what? A leap forward in sporting development, or, as the media are suggesting, a leap forward in cheating? Athletes in

beyond their natural size.

Two days later, the Games over, the world breathes a sigh of relief as Shysler, and the other Olympic 'phenomenon', test negative for banned substances. We can all rest, safe in the knowl edge their records were legitimate. But every single one of them cheated. They just can 't be caught. Ever.

his account of the 2008 games may be fictional, but by the time they actually come round that 'fiction' could well be fact. In short, welcome to the world of genedoping, sports cheating conducted at the genetic level.

Need better stamina? Then add a gene that increases the number of oxygen carrying red blood cells in your blody. Need more strength? Inject your muscles with a gene that will make them grow without extra training. Unbelievable, yes, but both techniques already exist.

T

Need better stamina? Then add a gene that increases the the number of oxygen carrying cells in your blood. all disciplines are demonstrating stamina and strength of a kind never dreamt of before.

But tonight disbelief is suspended as British eyes and hopes are focused on the gymnastics hall. Britain has its first shot at gymnastic gold for 12 years. The competitors enter the arena, Britain's hope, Marcus Shysler, among them. First to compete is defending champion, Alexei Popov, but as he starts his routine the crowd suddenly loses interest, Shysler has removed his sweatshirt and the shock at his new, over-built physique is audible. His arms and shoulders are immense, developed well

They work on animals, so why not humans?

Geoffrey Goldspink, a biologist at University College Medical School in London, is working on research that, taken to its logical conclusion , woufd allow athletes to custom build their physiques.

As he says, "We seem to have found the magic potion that makes muscles grow." But how does this magic potion actually work?

Any kind of hard exercise builds muscle strength by causing microscopic tears' in the muscle that, when repaired , strengthen the muscles. One of the

involved in this process is called Insulin-like Growth Factor (IGF1), and it is one of the five forms of IGF-1 that Goldspink is specifically interested in, Mechano Growth Factor (MGF) . it has to be said in his defence that his research was originally designed to help sufferers of muscle wasting diseases replace lost tissu ,e but its potential for abuse in sport was quickly noted, especially when Goldspink published results demonstrating that a si ngle

University of California. And, as Catlin points out, genetics have already entered sport. "The scandal surrounding the 1998 Tour de France was about the discovery in a cycling team's support vehicle of EPO." "EPO is a substance used in the gene therapy of anaemics to 'load' the blood with extra oxygen-carrying red blood cells.

Used in cyclists and athletes it improves stamina and aerobic capacity," he continues. Jim Courier even suggested in 1998

While critics would dismiss the gene therapy abuse debate as purely theoretical, sports authorities certainly do not. injection of MGF increased the muscle size of his test mice by 20 per cent in just two weeks.

Body-builders worldwide sat up and took notice.

Nadia Rosenthal, a geneticist at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, worked on a similar study injecting IGF-1 into mice, and concludes, "What happened was that [our mice] essentially expressed IGF-1 as if they had been exercising hard [though they hadn't]. They [were] enormous and had no body fat ."

More importantly for potential sports cheats, Rosenthal found no evidence of IGF-1 circulating in the bloodstream. Not only does this mean that it wouldn't show up in a post race blood test but it also means that its effects are local. For example a sprinter who injected MGF into his thighs wouldn 't have to develop an enlarged heart muscle.

Swimmers and canoeists could isolate and increase important back and chest muscles while tennis players could build up forearms and biceps without also becoming 'heavy' in the legs.

Admittedly, preliminary results give no indication whE)ther IGF-1 therapy will last in the long term - the oldest study is just 3 years old - or whether repeated training damage to the geneenhanced muscle tissue will also damage the gene itself. Lee Sweeney, a physiologist at the University of Pennsylvania admitted recently that, "These issues are really a big unknown so far because no-one really knows to what extent people turn over (use up) their muscle cells.

Every cell that's in your heart when you're born is there when you die, but we're not sure if that's true of other muscles."

Similarly, there may also be Rroblems with repeat dosing if the body builds up an antibody reaction to the mild virus used to carry the IGF-1 gene. But if the gene remains undamaged in the muscle after training then a single dose may be all that's needed.

While critics would dismiss the gene therapy abuse debate as purely theoretical , sport authorities certainly do not. An indication of how seriously they take it is the presence of Don Catlin, a biochemist specialising in gene therapy abuse, at the Olympic drug testing lab at the

that EPO use was rife in professional tennis. One of Catlin's colleagues confided that, "Gene-therapy abuse has already arrived in sport with the use of EPO. IGF-1 abuse is just the next logical step for the cheats."

So, when you sit down to watch the Olympic games in eight years time and find yourself witnessing superhuman performances, just remember that perhaps the athletes aren't superhuman after all. Maybe some of them are just a little more 'human' than they ·really should be.

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. 26 SPORT

www.concrete-online.co.uk

CONCRETE W EDNESDAY, M ARCH 15, 2000

BUSINESS MANAGEMENT IN SALES AND MARKETING Are you a competitive and highly self motivated team player, looking to progress as quickly as your talents and personality will let you?

If you answered Yes to this question , then a graduate career with Enterprise Rent-A-Car could be just what you are looking for. We are looking to recruit highly energetic sales orientated individuals who are willing to work hard , and have the same commitment to customer service that Enterprise has established over the years. We are looking for the Managers of our future .

We offer a fast track into Management working for a privately held, multibillion pound corporation ; our need is to find individuals capable of continuing our phenomenal growth in the UK, repeating the success stories of North America and Canada. Your job will be to learn all aspects of our business from the ground floor up, dealing with all functions of running your own small business in the decentralised structure we operate.

Ona of the great things about Enterprise is that its up to you how quickly you get to the top.

If you are a graduate, who thinks they can make the most of these opportunities, please send your CV with a covering letter to: Miss Joss Rutherford, Enterprise Rent-A-Car, HR Dept 51/ UEA , Beechwood House, Depot Road, Newmarket, Suffolk, CBB GAL. jruth erford @erac. com Recruiting for the East England area . www. erac.com

We are an equal opportu nity employer.

Canaries boss resigns after

By NICK HENEGAN AND GEORG E WALKER

HAVING GRABBED only two poi nts from a series of tricky away ties, City can now resign themse lves to a season of mid table obscurity.

The Ca naries trave lled to Blackburn on Tuesday. February 29 hopeful of heating th e bi g money s ide, and a goa l from Daryl Sutch on 25 minutes appea red to pave the way for a much-nccclccl victory - until th ey aga in fell vict im to a late goal.

The Lancastrians dom inated the early exchanges but it was the visitors who broke the dead lock with a screaming drive from 20 yards after some slack defend in g allowed Sutch space on th e right.

Barrage Thi s was City's on ly chance and for the rest of the match they were forced to defend agai nst a barrage of pressure. it looked as though Rioch 's men were going to hold out and secure all th ree points until the final minute, when Per Frandsen headed

CITY STAYS DIVISION ONE

PWDLGSPt 11 .Bolton 12.Grimsby 13.Norwioh 14.Sheff Utd

34 12 1111 44 47 35 13 7 15 38 46 351 1 12 12 35 45 35 11 11 13 50 44 15.Stocl<port 35 11 11 13 39 44

NORWICH CITY TOP SCORERS lwan Roberts 13 Dare! Russell 4

home to snatc h a point.

The Canar ie' struggled again at Crewe on Saturday, March 4.

Crewe 's winner and the on ly goal of the game came from Neil Sorvil in the fifth minute, and it was on ly some fine work by Andy Marshall in the City goa l th at stopped the home side extending their lead.

At the other end, Norwich 's best chance fell to Malky Mackay. who could do no betler than guide his thirty-sixth minut e header wide from just six yards.

Despite~tij I~ossession for much of the second half, it was Ci ty's fai lure to test th e Crewe keeper, Jason Kearton, that proved to be th eir downfall.

The on ly real moment of danger for Crewe ca me in the eighty-eighth minute when Kearton easi ly co llected a tame drive from Fugelstad.

City were aga in on the ir travels the following Tuesday as they made the trip to Nottingham to face a struggling Forest side.

City look for the killer pass

But it was Cit y who were struggling afte r onl y 14 seconds, when Louis-Jcan latc hed on to a Dougie Freedman header to put the home side ahead.

Throughout the first half it was Forest who dominated, keepi ng possession and creating chances.

The best of these fe ll to Lester, who was denie'i:l on two occasions by so me tine goa l keeping.

However. City goa l king lwa n Roberts was on hand to make sure that Forest's co nt rol of the ga me counted for nothing as he slotted

home from I0 yards as Louis-Jcan scuffed his clearance,

G5?n!r~~~l~Yiied

to The produce a goa l but was not short of co ntroversy, as Forest's igel Quashie was sen t off after 72 minut es for a seco nd bookab le offe nce.

And in a shock move Brucc Rioch announced hi s resignation from the club on Monday, after the Cit y had onl y wo n once in 11

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CONCRETE WEDNESDAY, MARCH

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----------------- ---- --SPORT 27

www.concrete-online.co.uk

15, 2000

Managerial mayhem A deranged soccer boss has been fined £250 and faces a life ban after attacking a referee who gave a penalty against his side.

David Rylatt of Blyth Spartans Juniors, who play in the Northumberland League, went berserk after he accused ref, Dave Hewitt, of being biased.

The maniac manager headbutted the ref before gouging his eyes, causing injuries that needed hospital treatment.

UEA inflict first defeat on table tORRers •1•11@11Men 9s 1sts 3-2 Potters

I

THE MEN'S squash team bagged a valuable scalp as they brushed aside table toppers Potters last Tuesday.

Despite already having won the league, the unbeaten "'orfolk side came to UEA with a full squad, eager to maintain their enviable record.

Things ~eemed to be going well impressive power and precision. apart.

Unable to execute the for UEA m the first match of the f·ourth on court was UEA night as Andy Kahumbu picked his number two, Mark Bagnall, who shots he wanted, he became shots well early on and received was unable to produce his usual increa!>ingly frustrated aod the reward of going 2-0 up. fonn and was well beaten. began remon~trating But from thl> point he lost his He looked to be lacking energy furiously with the referee. touch. and let hts opponent >natch and played a number of ill ad\ ,,w But Tapsfield u'ed Stone's lack of composure victory 3-2. hot:. as he went down 3-1 to his advantage.

This left the tie level at two games a piece and created the He incensed Stone Next up was Jon Rhodes, who further and wrapped up the prospect of a thrilling finish as two tie by winning the next three of the league·s best players levelled the tie after games 9-1. 9-0 and 9-2. comprehensively out-playing and stepped on court to decide the out-foxing his veteran foe, winning game.

On inflicung the first easily 3-1.

Potters' !an Stone started well defeat of the season on Rhodes was streets ahead of the Potters. elated president Jon a> UEA number one James Rhodes aid: 'Thb was a Tap:.field struggled to find his Potters man who could not cope with his excellent length. very rhythm.

The third match saw Andy Trim performance from a very find his form, thrashing his out of practice team. It was opponent 3-0.

Emerging from a scrappy first a hard match, but we pulled Trim looked sharp throughout game Stone was leading, but as the it out of the hat when it and was a class above, with second got underway his game fell

Veteran

Fell apart

A Mug's game Despite being arguably the worst darts team in Britain the players of the Mug House pub are in the money after landing a £500 sponsorship deal.

The Mugs have lost 180 matches on the trot, with their most disastrous defeat being against a bunch of Russian farmers who had never even played the game.

Team captain said, "We've been close, but always have managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory."

Burger off You may not think that golf is the most physically demanding sport.

But tell that to British ace Lee Westwood, who has started a new fitness regime after he had to spend more than an hour on a saline drip when he became dehydrated during a tournament last year.

Olympic nutrition expert Gill Horgan has told Westwood to cut out the booze and the burgers.

-

Gary's gutted Footle icon and Concrete centre spread star Gary Lineker has been left heartbroken after his memorabilia was destroyed when fire gutted his brother's Tenerife bar.

As the bar was consumed with flames, so were Gary's priceless England caps and shirts.

Bar manager Paul Bowcock said, "I couldn't believe it when I saw the damage. The Gary Lineker memorabilia can never be replaced."

Heads up_ l;t•Vm~m London Read

1

By ROB PAGE

UEA'S TOP women's eight beat off strong competition to finish well in one of the most gruelling events of the rowing calendar.

The London Head of the River mce, that took place on Saturday, March 5, brings together some of the best crews in Britain and is fought out over the four and a half mile course from Putncy to Chiswick.

Facing up agamst Great Britain Crew\ and the traditional rowing universities. including Oxford, Cambridge and London. the competition wa' hound to he fierce.

This proved to be the case and the draw meant that the UEA women had to Mart very high up the field. again\t crews of international standard.

Disrupted Thing' were made harder for UEA m. preparation for the race had hecn disrupted hy two last minute mjuries. meaning that there was a mad rush a-. replacements had to he found.

One of the ca\ualties wa\ women'' captain Etti Coo~. who wa' left fru.,tratcd a.\ she was forced to watch the thrilling race unfold from the 1011- path.

In the race itself the UEA crew had a lot lo do to '>lay on terms with the crew\ around them, a feat that was made even more taxing b) a strong wmd.

Magnifcent But the; put 111 a comendahlc performance to finish I !12cnd overall. and a magmficcnt thirteo:nth

out of 44 <lVice hoar-.

The determination of the crew was evido:nt throughout. and with some tremendou!> steering from the cox. Sarah Louise Alhrccht. they managed to overcome ri,ab from htggcr rO\\ ing mve!'-tllcs such a\ ewcastlc.

Manche\ler.

Nottingham Trent. and Warwick .

The result was greeted with delight h) coach And) Beard who '>Utd: '" lt wa!> a strong performance. and dcfmllel) a v.dl deserved reward for the hard wor~ that they have all put in."

The club arc now hoping that the rcsu h w i11 send a powc rfu I mcs<,age 10 other universities in the run up to the much anticipated BUSA regatta in Apnl.

Force l:cstall~

Club Prcstdent Dom Pivonka enthused: '"lt"s important that non traditional rowing universities like ours arc recognised as an up and commg force '" Etti Cool.. added ··You have to rcmemh.:r that mo'>t of the cro:w had ne, er seen a ro\\ mg hoat 111 Scpto:ml>cr. so to finish so well i'> a fUsl reward for the imcstmo:nt in the dub."

OPEN 24 HOURS A DAY 7 DAYS A WEEK e20 Snooker tables • 4 pool tables •satellite TV • Video Games • £250 jackpot machines • Hot and cold food available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week • Licensed bar at low prices 10am·11pm, 12·10.30pm Sun

ISTUDENT MEMBERSHIP £21 St Mary's Plain, Norwich Tel: 627478 Only 5 minutes from Norwich market

•

oint fMINeil Kent 6-12 UEA Pirates I

By CHRIS HAILSTONE A CONTROVERSIAL touchdown from Jamie Bedison ensured victory for UEA in a tough match against Kent University.

The match, which took place on Sunday, February 27, was played on a surface reminiscent of a battle field, making a flowing game impossible.

-

The pattern of the game was set from the start, with UEA dominating defensive plays, moving the ball expertly but ultimately failing to breakthrough the Falcons' defence.

Strong attacking running from Steve Smulowitz, Bedison and Rich Cook

secured first down after first down, yet UEA were consistently denied the actual score.

And as a dire first half ended, UEA were thwarted yet again when lan Burchett made an excellent catch only to be stopped at the line.

As the second half got

underway the Pirates continued to dominate, despite heading up the slope and into the wind.

The Pirates' powerfu l backfield ground the Falcons back into their own red zone and Jones capitalised, powering six yards for the touch down.

Pressure From this point on UEA under some real were pressure, and despite a good punted clearance from Brown, Kent regained possession and, on fourth and four, finally broke through the Pirates'

defensive line for the score.

The last quarter began with the scores at six a piece and as the time ticked away UEA began to reassert themselves.

Then, with just three minutes left, Kent threw a pass out on the wing that was blown backwards by the wind and landed incomplete.

Bedison capitalised on this moment of confusion and picked up the ball and ran eight yards to score.

Kent were outraged and protested to the referees but as the arguments dwindled so did the game, leaving the Pirates to coast home.

- Haydon P-lays dream final to sweeP- UP- BUSA snooker CuP-.

UEA'S CHRIS Haydon fulfilled a dream he had been chasing for four years after he pocketed the BUSA Individual Snooker title.

An England Universities squad member, Chris sailed through the early rounds of the championship that took place in Solihul on the weekend of February 25.

For what wa a university championships, the ind ividual tournament looked more like an international event from the quarter final onwards as Chris was forced to take on rivals from various national squads.

without losing a single frame despite facing Welsh wizard Rob Hayes in the quarter finals and England team mate John Fulcher in the semis.

Rivals

The final was something of a grudge match as Haydon took on long-time rival Aaron Cahoon of orthem Ireland.

Haydon started poorly, and his failure to build high breaks combined with Cahoon's confident play allowed the Irishman to take a 2-0 lead.

Although hi record break is 144, the UEA star could only manage 59 in the final. and it was clear that losses in the semi -finals last year

But unperturbed, he broke through the final

Confident

and the final in 1998 were playing on his mind.

However, it seemed that going two frames down was Haydon's cue to assert himself on the match.

With perfect cueing and outstanding positional play he was able to battle his way back into the match and snatch victory and the championship.

"I was obviously pleased to win," said a delighted Chris.

Concentration "I didn't feel that I was cueing very well in the early stages but as the competition progressed it got better and my concentration improved.

"I thought it wa~ all over when I went 2-0 down , but I managed to come back well. It was a hard

match but it was worth it, I've been after this title for four years."

UEA also took to the table in the team event but were unable to recreate the success of last year when the B-team managed to reach the final.

This time around they failed to impress, losing out in the early stages, but the A-team did struggle through to the quarter finals.

They almost didn ' t get that farit was only a vital win from Charlie Pike against Hull University that forced a tie break, duly won by Haydon.

Superior But in the quarters they were outclassed by a superior Southampton side, who convincingly beat VEA 7-3.

I

Inside: BUSA triumph for trampolinists - page 27 ... Korfball's local success - page 26 ... GM sportsmen a realistic possibility? - page 25 ... Scorecard - page 24