Concrete issue 119 29 11 2000

STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF THE YEAR

Issue 119 ·Wednesday, November 29, 2000

FREE

Union venue at centre of drug_ dealing allegations EXCLUSIVE

By NICOLA MALLET News Editor

AN OUTRAGED student has blown a hole in the Union's drugs policy by alleging that Waterfront security planted drugs In his pocket during a routine search.

Second-year Management student, Stuart Bates, was pulled aside and searched at the Waterfront on Friday, November as he entered the popular ·student nightspot with two friends for the Garage Nation night.

The student was thrown out of the the venue after bouncers found a suspect tablet - but he is adamant it was planted. bouncers so he Planted deal there and "They went through my coat pocket will keep other dealers and then my trouser pocket and pulled out," he alleged. out what looked like a brown tablet Police wrapped in a cellophane wrapper, the first thing I said was 'you put it there'," "I presume that they thought I was a he recalled. dealer and planted drugs on me so they And, in a shocking revelation Stuart could chuck me out." has speculated on the reasons behind And Stuart - who voluntarily reported his rough handling. the incident to the police - is furious at "I have chatted to a lot of people at the way the Union handled his

17...,.._..

complaints about the affair.

"I went to see the Union management and their instant reaction was 'Prove it'. They were quite aggressive and hostile and just said 'You are naive to think that anything will come he of this'," stormed.

"They sat down and above saying I a liar, and on Monday they to even tried threaten me by saying they were going to

they do enough for students," argued Melissa Portis (EAS 1).

Agreed Sean Gorman (LAW 2), "The Waterfront is dodgy, it doesn't have a very nice atmosphere and it is full of intimidating local people."

Union Communication Officer, Wayne Barnes, pledged that the incident would be properly looked in to, and denied suggestions that the Union weren 't taking the accustations seriously.

involve the police".

"My opinion of the Union has completely changed."

"They are supposed to be there for the students, but it turns out they are only there for themselves," lamented Stuart.

Tainted "People look at me differently now. All the staff and bouncers are looking at me differently and people I know have a tainted opinion of me."

And other students were also concerned that the Union wasn 't supporting one of their members.

"The Union seem to be quite a political institution and often I don't think

Serious "This is a very serious matter and at present we are in discussion with the various members of staff that are involved," he said.

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Conc re te

W EDN ESDAY, NOVEMBER

29, 2000

• nbearable teaching conditions

By KATIE HIND

CONCERNED STUDENTS fear that their degrees are suffering because they are being forced to study in cramped sub-standard lecture rooms.

ED U S tudent Fonun rep, An tony Liule, is lead ing protests for larger lecture rooms for students taki ng UEA's respected teacher traini ng course - and across the U ni versity. ''For the sake of their work and condi tions, as a consequence of for hea lth and safety reasons. this my notes are not as good as nobody shou ld be forced to work in they shou ld be," he stom1ed. an over-fi ll ed lecture theatre . Have Comfort the Un iversity considered the length of time it would take us to And postgrads are pushing for evacuate in the event or a fire'?" the Universit y to take ac tion quickly, to ensure students arc able questioned Antony.

"The PGCE is a very intensive to work in com fort. one year course "The Union shou ld nO\\ take and we action and campaig n for decent shouldn' t work ing environments for all be fo rced students and the Uni\'ersity sbou ld have a duty to provide EDU to work students wi th decent lea rnin g in th ese cond itions."

But Uni on Academic Officer, Emma Price is re fu sing to back the campai gn, c laiming that the changes are be in g made to create more space in lectures.

"The University is looking at different types of tim etabling so that the space can be used more efficiently.''

"11 is an issue that the University are aware of. but because the space isn't there it's hard to do anyth ing about it," de fended Emma.

Funding

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"Th e nu mbe rs have increased hu gel y and unfo rtunate ly, th e money isn' t there to renovate or bui ld new bui ldings - that is a p roble m with hig he r education fun ding generally," she justi fied .

But student<, are angry about the bad facilities and are demanding action.

'There arc too many people in my classes and you don' t get a chance to do your work properly, the university sho uld de fin ite!) make sure that the re are less people." insisted Matthew McGuire (SOC4).

Money And second -year law student David Kitson ag rees. " I often go into lectures and there a re peop le sitting on the tep , sometimes you can ' t even get in, but the Univers ity doesn' t have any money and tl1at's what it a ll comes down to," he complained.

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Concrete scoops best .PJRer at toR awards CONCRETE HAS had its position at the pinnacle of student journalism confirmed after scooping the NUS/Independent Best St udent Newspaper award.

The award comes just weeks after the paper took runner-up in the rival Guardian Student Media Awards for Best Newspaper, clea rly marking Concrete ou t as the best university paper in the country.

And UEA students had fu rther cause to celebrate at the London awards ceremony as TSW - the unive rsity's onl ine discu ssion forum - took first place in the Student Website category, beating off competition from a strong shortlist that included the online version of Concrete, www.concrete-online.co.uk.

Quality Concrete Editor James Goffin is delighted that th e quality and consistency of th e newspaper has by the been recognised profession's top names, who congratulated the paper's punchy and informative style, and sense of fun . "it's fantastic to have th e hard

work and dedication of a whole team of student jou rnal ists rewa rded by two of the most respected broadsheet newspapers in th e country;• he said.

Banned "Th e especially rewarding part is that both sets of judges backed our decision to run an article on the Briti sh National Party, even though the Union banned the issue," winked James.

An d TSW President Adam Svenson was pleased by the website's triumph in the awards.

"All at TSW are delighted that we have made such fantastic progress over the past year and we hope to build on this in the future;· he said.

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Concrete

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER

www.concrete-online.co.uk

29, 2000

NEWS 3

THE lAST bUTPOST: ISOlATED VILlAGE IS CRIME CENTRAL

By NICOLA MALLETT News Editor

THE VILLAGE'S resident ice-cream man Alan has been stripped of his van after Customs officials accused him of dodging VAT. Alan, who has spent many years Sunday, November 5 for allegedly without duty.

Said John Barber, Press Officer for HM Customs and Excise.

"On November S we seized on the campus various quantities of cigarettes, tobacco, spirits, beer and wine to the value of about ÂŁI 00 and we also seized a van.

Seized Nobody was arrested."

"These items were seized by officers of Customs and Excise, our actions have now ceased in relation to any potential offence," he revealed.

Campus security refused to make any official comment on the raid, but one porter admitted that they had been in the dark about the operation.

"We knew that his van had been

supplying Village residents with their milk and bread, was raided on also selling quantities of cigarettes, tobacco, spirits, beer and wine seized but we don ' t know the reason, we aren't privy to that sort of information," he confided.

Now cut-off Village residents have been left stranded without any facilities forcing them to walk all the way to campus for basic supplies.

Moan~d Jamie Walshe (DEV I), "I used to rely on ltim for bread

Necessities and milk , he was just so convenient," "I'm not impressed that he gone because we have tp keep going to the UFO which is a half hour round trip. The University should provide a food outlet here just for necessities," stormed Rafe Harris (LAW I)

And I an Fairhurst (DEV I) argued, "He was there on a Sunday when we needed him, unlike the UFO, which is shut. He was

Facilities always there, but now we ' ll have to plan ahead more or walk all the way onto campus."

And Polly Morgan, Union Welfare Officer agreed that the incident highlighted the Village's dire need of more facilities.

"I'm sure the University never realised what he was doing, but I do feel sorry for students now. " I think the Village residents feel isolated from the rest of the campus and it would be nice if they had some facilities," commiserated Polly.

DAYLIGHT ROBBERY Anguish for residents as car crime hits the village

VILLAGE vehicle owners should be more alert after a wave of car crime hit the University's cut-off residences.

On November 20, a red Ford Fiesta was snatched from the Courtyard B car park, writes Katie Hind.

Since then numerous other we can't take it any further", he cars - many owned by students defended.

- have been vandalised on the "The security guards do go nearby Wilberforce Road, Police over to the Village, we do have have yet to recover the stolen CCTV over there, but it doesn't car, which had a large crack on see everything that happens". the front windscreen.

Union Welfare Officer Polly Morgan agreed that Village Theft security was lacking .

But security co-ordinator Ron "I have raised a number of Elliott, who denied having any issues and now cars are being knowledge of the theft, monitored on CCTV all of the maintains his team is doing its time, but car park barriers are best to cut out campus crime. left open due to a lack of staff," "I didn't know anything about, explained Polly. we've had no report about it so "More staff are desperately

needed but there is a lack of money", she revealed .

But Village residents are calling out for tighter security now following the vandalism.

Guard "There should be a security guard patrolling the area at all times. I am on the ground floor so anyone could break into my room at anytime", worried Andrew Serail (HIS 1).

Argued Patrick Ruffle (8101 ), 'There are CCTV cameras here, but I don't think they move so there are still lots of unseen areas. There seems to be a general lack of security, we are completely isolated over here."

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Concrete

W EDNESDAY, N OVEMBE R

29 , 2000

Hot stuff A FUMING fire-eater is suing a nightclub for damages after they failed to help her when she set herself on fire.

Pat Ryan, 36 was in the middle of her act in Philadelphia when she set herself alight, however the bouncer was too busy gawping at her to douse the flames.

Cardboard candidate TWO ELECTION candidates in Ph iladelphia took part in a televised debate alongside a cardboard cut out of a third candidate.

Thomas Logan, running for the state presidency of the National Association for the Advancement of Coloured People, called to say he could not attend because of a family emergency, so the station propped a life-sized figure in his chair.

Dismay as Hive introduces no smoking area

Emergency mischief A LAZY Woman d ialled 999 for an ambu lance because she had spilt her chicken soup.

In a bid to clamp down on prank call-outs the East Ang lian Ambulance Service has revealed hundreds of crazy so-called emergencies, including a smoker who had dropped her ashtray and two calls where people said " I can 't sleep" and " I can 't yawn ".

Hard hitting hypocite A WO MAN attacked her lazy husband after he refused to go to a march in Stockholm.

Anne Jonsson fractured , husband Lars jaw and skull, when he said no to attending the protest against domest ic violence.

Caught on camera A dim-witted thief in New York took a photo of hi mself stealing a car using the car owner's camera.

When he eventually abandoned the car the witless robber left the camera in t he car.

By KATHERINE ROWBOTHAM

HIVE smokers have been pushed aside afted the Union introduced a non -smoking area in the popular campus hangout.

The new policy, which went into effect last Wednesday, now has the section nearest to the entrance as a smoke free zone. this and we'll just see how it Explained Union goes. I realise that it's impossible Com munications Officer to enforce, but perhaps people Wayne Barnes , "One of will choose to en force it the students suggested on a feedback form that the themselves," he argued.

Hive regula rs have given the Hive should be totally nonscheme a mixed reception . smoking in the open area ."

Said Emma Reyno lds (SOC "The Management 2), "11 will makes no difference Committee decided it was having that part of the Hive as worth a trial period to see if non-smoking because wh erever it makes the atmosphere you go you can smell the smoke, nicer. also it's quite good it's not really going to take away tor the staff who work on any of the smoke." reception."

"There is no time limit for

"11 is nice to have the option, The Bowl has a similar policy and I think it is a good idea."

Atmosphere "Other universities have non-

smoking sports bars, we only have th e Back Bar which as sumes that non-smokers want a non-lively atmosphere without music," concurred Duncan Hedges (CHE PG) .

Restricted

"Peopl e wh o s1t at th ose tables will just move th e signs or mixed groups of smokers and nonsmokers will be restricted as to wh ere th ey sit ," she complained.

Bu t som e stud ents are welcoming the initiative.

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EASED IN

BY DECiREES

UNDER ACH IEVIN G sc hool leavers who narrow ly miss out on a university place may soon be able to stu dy at UEA, if a bid to host foundation degrees is passed.

The new courses, wh ich last one year, are designed to give more students th e chance to experience un iversi ty life, writes Charotte Ronald s.

Commented Enca Town er, Director of Continuing Education, "UEA has very strong links with coll eges, and the se found atiOn degrees are a good way of getting people into higher education."

"Hopefully for som e people 11 might actu all y be the stepping stone that wil l enable them to come to UEA to do an honours degree ," enthused Mrs Towner.

Restriced Un1on Academ1c Officer. Emma Pnce, has welcomed the possibility of UEA offer1ng the new-style foundation degrees.

"Th e way I understand 11. IS H1at they have a vocational slant focusing on specific JObs and becorn1ng more employable as opposed to acadcm1c." she explained But some pmscnt studt'nls are angry that lCW Shc•t u 1 C.OJrses c.ou ld be the !ruduc>d Furred Rt>1ar non Dav1es (Ll f..?) · 11 doesn't 5e~ r 1g~ t that tllvse people who didn t wo rk as hard at schocl should be get11ng the same l·o~gher educational vpporiUn llleS as those who flogqed the1r g 1ts out to be here."

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The Far Eastern bottled beer has been a top tipple in Singapore since 1932, but now it's on the prowl in the UK, and bringing the gambling culture of the Orient with it.

To help you get in the spirit, we 're givin g away three four packs of the delightful drink along with sets of poker dice.

To win , all you have to do is pop the answer to the fo ll owing question, together with you r name and contact details in the Competition Box in the Hive, by Friday, December 8.

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1 Concrete

WEDNESDAY , NOVEMEBR

NEWS&

www.concrete-online .co.uk

29, 2000

StingyjportsP.ark bosses take free drinking water oH the menu

By NICK HENEGAN

SPORTSPARK SUPREMO Keith Nicholls has been branded a miser after taking free drinking water off the menu at the venue's cafe.

When the centre first opened in September thirsty punters could get free water on tap but now visitors are horrified to find that pricey bottled water is the only thirst quenching alternative.

Environmental Sciences, who is And according to a Concrete approached, including campus investigation the cont roversial favourite the Dindr and popular leading a campaign against the policy is flying in the face of a city venue Owens and The City policy, "It's an absolute disgrace precedent set by both campus and Gate, none said that they charged that they should refuse to serve city restaurants. customers for a glass of tap water. water. Certainly myself and a Of all the eateries we Raged Rob Tinch, a lecturer in number of others have felt strongly enough about the issue not to go back"

Ridiculous But Director of Sport, Keith Nicholls refused to back down, claiming that providing free water is not financially viable. " In the ftrst couple of weeks it just got ridiculous in that there were people buying a £1.25 sandwich and asking for a free glass of water, and we just weren't making sales. So after a couple of weeks we just had to stop it," he explained. '"The issue is that we are trying l.o run a commercial cafe to help

LEAVING IT lATE I

Survey..!§Y.S last minute revision ruins grades

By SARAH WRIGHT

LAST MINUTE learners could be ruining their chances of top grades according to a recent study on memory.

The tests, carried out by a team of scientists from Harvard Medical School, confirmed that sleep is a vital factor in securing memory.

The subjects who • were "Personally I have always tried term memory, so I tend to cram. allowed to sleep the night before not to revise on the day of the Exams aren't representative of they completed a task performed exam. Cramming is bad, but we your general knowledge anyway. significantly better, when will never stop students doing it, I find projects much more useful." assessed, than those who had as you panic before hand."

Cramming been kept awake.

But students disagree, Melanie Wit! (ENV Post Grad) Deprevations claiming that cramming the night before an exam IS 1nd1spensable confirmed, "Cramming definitely Agreed Dr Paul Coathup at the to them. improves my performance.

UEA Health Centre, "sleep Argued Adam Berry (MTH2) "I always remember what I deprivation definitely disturbs "That's the way I've always done read in the last five minutes your ability to think logically and it, I can't work until I really have before the exam and it always rationally and extreme sleep to. You get into the exam mood comes up," deprivation can disturb your and then you are psyched for the However the results of the perceptions." exam anyway, so it doesn't study are no surprise to some And Pally Morgan , Union matter if you are !\red." students. Jannet Cross (BIO, 3) Welfare Officer is against And Carl Carrell (BIO 3) said, "I don't cram. I need a long cramming. added, "'I've got a good shorttime to revise."

support the running of Sportspark and we think we have made a decision that is commercially valid," he added.

Union Finance Officer, Becky Thorn disagrees claiming that the Sportspark's decision is misguided.

"It does cost the Union money to serve free drinking water but we see it as part of the service we provide. The Sportspark obvious ly don't want students as the market for their cafeteria" "This just goes show that it's not a sports centre for stude nts even though the Union has invested a

scrap free water.

Said Heather Rathgen (EAS 4), capitalism out of control"

Graduate S dents' tion eMembers Ai".&V1i.I'U-2001

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Bars Manager Gareth Daniels The GSC would like to ank everyone who turned out for Pig Racing on the 17 ovember. Thanks to the efforts of , 11 those involv nd all those who gave money, we WI~;Ult9<10flii'Se £265 for Children in Need

& NEWS

www .cone ret e-online .co.uk

Concrete WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 29, 2000

win a year long ticket some of the country's nightspots thanks to an Internet site.

From November 30 cash strapped students can win e of the 10,000 Clubbing courtesy of Kelkoo, pri ce comparison

By KATIE HIND, Ass istant News Editor

UEA students headed off to the capital last week to join the national protest against top-up tu ition fees.

entry at any of UK's top 350 clubs in Britain and is valid for a year.

Winners will also be entered into another free draw to win a ro und the world trip for two.

For the ch ance to win vi sit: www.kelkoo.com/students.

120 stu dents trave lled to London to take part in the 17,000 strong National March for Education , for England to join Scotland in scrapping tuition fees.

"We plan to go to local The students, many of schools to talk parents and whom were dressed in tartan as part of the Union's children, as I don't know if th e they are aware of what is attempt to make un ivers ity go Scottish, going on and they are the marched for three hours people who will be paying before rallying in Kennington the fees in the future", he Park where Ken Livingstone explained. spoke.

Optimistic Union Communications Officer, Wayne Barnes But students who took believes the campaign was part in the march are not as triumphant. optimistic.

"I don't think it will come to Successful anything, I don't think the "lt was successful and we government will listen because they are not a wouldn 't have gone if we thought it would be a waste listening government, but it is the only way to get across of time.

"We caused tension on the way we feel", explained Joe Minihane (HIS 1 ). the day and were in all of the And HIS student Chris newspapers and on the radio," gushed Wayne.

Hawkins agrees. "lt raised awareness And the campaign is set to among students, but not continue in order to make really with the rest of the more people aware of the population". possibility of top-up fees:

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Students are also given the opportunity to spend four months in the States to save up enough money before they wing their way east to Oz. For more information on how you could have the time of your life Down Under contact Michaela Holmes at Council Exchanges on 020 74782022 .

Cut & Blow Dry

By CHARLOTIE RONALDS, Ch ief News Reporter

A Government cash grant to help cash strapped students at UEA has been blasted as a empty gimmick.

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The £29,000 boost- a part of the government's 'Excellence in Cities' scheme - is designed to help students from educationally disadvantaged backgrounds to get into higher education .

But the busaries are embroiled th e po stcode of th eir home Richard Sweatman (ENV3) in controve rsy, as they are only addresses, they are completely "Twenty ni ne, that's just ignoring all rural poverty," she enough bursaries to fill one available to students from large cities including London, complained. seminar. In the whole scheme of Birmingham, Sheffield and "it's a pity that it's targeted at things it's a was te of time," Leeds. urban areas. but that's because s c o w I e d A/an Jones, Deputy Academic it's a toke n piece-meal gesture.

Registrar, explained that UEA is Wh at's needed is a full er not yet sure how it is going to overview of student fu nding from allocate the money. this country," stormed Pally.

Initiative She also slammed the Government for such a meagre "I think the intention is that award, the equivalent of around £2.41 for every student at UEA. UEA chooses the students, but ''Twenty nine bursaries? That's we haven't got our mind around very generous, th at'll reverse th e how to cope with this because it funding crisis" she quipped. is yet another government And students who live in more initiative. rural areas are outraged that the "11 is intended to be focused on government are deciding who is people who would otherwise find eligible for the money on the it difficult to get into higher basis of their address and not education," he commented. their financial situation.

But Pally Morgan, Union "I don't pay tuition fees but I'm Welfare Officer is angry that the still at university, I live in a little bursaries exclude many hard -up village in Devon and I can't affo rd students. it but I manage. it's not fair that "The bursaries are to be they are discriminating ," raged 't ~arr~~~ -~~ ~~di11 . ·n ~e~~~ of ~,,, ,.

•l •• ,

Concrete WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 29, 2000

NEWS7

www.concrete-online.co.uk

Uni to install own system

By NICOLA MALLETT News Editor

AFTER ENDLESS consultations, phoneless residences may finally be furnished with telephone connections In summer 2001.

The University have finally revealed that the long-awaited phones will be installed - but instead of working with an outside company they are going it alone in a bid to give the students the best possible deal.

Explained Pro-Vice not reek the benefit of the to find a company that would Chancellor David Baker, ''We telephones, as the system will keep international call costs are proposing to undertake not be set up until next year. low, they had a lot of the work ourselves because Confirmed Or Baker, 'We conditions." we couldn't get a good are still aiming for summer "lt might actually be better enough deal with the suppliers 2001, all being well . The for the students because it that we were negotiating with." problem is with installation, we might be easier to negotiate with the University than with a Emphasis don't want to disrupt stude~ts, so we are not guaranteeing separate company."

"We are proposing to offer next year but that is our Sceptical data as well as telephony target." services access and the prime But she remains sceptical Plans emphasis will be on the data, as to whether the phones will which will allow the kind of Union Welfare Officer, Polly be Installed by next summer's Internet access that you only Morgan was pleased that the deadline. currently get from the 24 hour plans were finally taking "I have no idea if it will be IT Centre," he explained. effect. set up by next summer, it is But this year's students will "I know that they were trying anyone's guess really." ·

And students agreed that it was a miracle that the University had finally got their act together.

High "it's about time. lt would have been a lot easier for me when I was in halls if I had a phone as my mobile bills were very high.

"The University keep promising these things, but it is still yet to happen,'' added Vicky Lawrence {HIS 2).

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Concrete

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER

LEADERS 9

www.concrete-online.co.uk

29, 2000

LEADERS

LEADERS

CONCRETE Issue 119 Editor

Dealing with the truth

James Goffin

Smoke without fire

Deputy Editors

All clubs have drugs problems. it's an unfortunate fact that even the strictest doors policy will fail to catch everyone, no matter how hard they try - and no one doubts the Union's good intentions in keeping drugs out of it's venues.

However, the shocking allegations on our front page go way beyond system failure. They represent a systematic abuse of trust and power, with some staff seemingly more interested in lining their pockets than maintaining the Union's famous safe atmosphere.

These are controversial issues, which so far the Un ion appears to have dismissed out of hand.

Let 's hope that a proper Union investigationand there must be one - puts things right.

The Union 's decision to restrict the number of smok ing tables in the Hive smacks of political correc t ness gone mad . The idea is apparently to create a nicer area for non-smokers to hang out in, but the Union seems in blissful ignorance that smoke still easily travels from the other tables.

The impression this gives is of a Union desperate to actually appear as if it is doing something , anything, no matter how triv ial. Perhaps it might prove a better use of t ime to actually concentrate on issues that students really care about rather than introduc ing kneejerk measures that alienate a larg_e part of the student body without even benefiting the rest .

Adam Chapman 路 Nick Henegan News Editor

Nikki Mallett Assistant News Editor

Katie Hind Chief News Reporter

Charlotte Ronalds Features Editor

Will Halsey Sports Editor

Alex Thorpe

Caller, please hold

PHONE DEAL

At long last the University have decided which company will get the contract to install phones in campus rooms. Or rather, that no one will, because ITCS Is to attempt the job themselves. lt could mean a more responsive service for students. lt could bearing in mind the University has no experience this kind of business - go embarassingly and expensively wrong . But for now, we're still all on hold ...

Assistant Sports Editor

Chns Webber Creative Writing Editor

Kris Siefken Editorial Contributors

Peter Clarke, Jo Crookshank, Anna Feigenbaum , Mike Milner, Katherine Rowbotham , Jonathan Symes, Robbie Uprichard, Sadiq Usman, Sarah Wright Photographer

Nicko Hillary Proofreader

Abdulhallan Ali Advertising Manager

Clare Hamilton-Eddy

Letters to the Editor

Distribution Manager

Steve Quirke

PO Box 410 路 Norwich 路 NR4 ?TB Tel 01603 250558 Fax 01603 506822 路 E-mail su.concrete@uea.ac.uk

All's fair?

On reading your feature 'Winning at any cost? ' in Concrete 118, I was forced to question Jo Locke's grasp of the concept of morality. War, as I am sure we all aware, is not a good state of affairs for most of the concerned parties. Consequently, those things which shorten war are generally held to be a good thing.

To my mind Operation Mincemeat contains no facets of a dubious nature. Has your reporter not heard of the principle of 'need to know' and its general application throughout the war? On a heavily classified operation, one does not trumpet the details to all and sundry. Arguably the parents could have been informed, but this would be in contravention of 'need to know.' Twenty-first century morals should not be applied to a mid-twentieth century situation. Or perhaps Jo Locke would have preferred the Allied forces to allow detailed plans for the actual invasion of Sicily to fall into the hands of the Axis, in the interests of fair play.

In comparison with the dubious morality at the time of the Germans, Japanese and Italians, not to say anything of the brutality of Comrade Stalin, failing to tell somebody what you wanted their son's body for, when the answer was' To serve the British Empire, shorten the war, and lessen casualties amongst allied forces', seems infinitesimal.

Robert Stevenson HIS 2

Stuck in the Middle I refer to the article written by Sarah Shubinsky in last week's Concrete, on the Middle East.

The article itself makes few valid points. Shubinsky writes that "many areas hit by the conflict are facing economic difficulties after a drop in the number of tourists". While Israelis fear for their tourism industry, the Palestinians face economic strangulation at the hands of the Israeli government through border closures and trade blockades.

" ...many Jews seem to have felt that the only way to survive Nazism was to use Nazi-like tactics on the Arabs ... the trouble today is that many Arabs know little about this [the Holocaust]". Virtually every Palestinian is aware of the tragic events that led to the creation of a state for the Jewish people, because it was these events that led to 758,000 Palestinians losing their homes and livelihoods in what is now Israel.

"Many Israelis claim that while the Arabs are constantly living in the past, Israelis look towards the future". This is a luxury that only the Israelis can afford- they now have a homeland, a state, a future.

Instead, Palestinians live in pockets of territory which are divided by illegal Israeli settlements and bypass roads. Many exist in squalid refugee camps - messes of bricks and corrugated iron. For Palestinians, this bleak future is relieved only by thoughts of what they as a people, once were.

As a student who has lived and studied in Palestine, and who plans to return there to marry her Palestinian fiancee , the idea that such ignorance is perpetuated by UEA's 'independent' newspaper in this multicultural academic institution , and in light of the forthcoming International Human Rights Week, is quite simply, shocking. In the future, should Concrete wish to cover other sensitive issues, you have a moral obligation to do so from all sides.

Kirsty Sutherland DEV PG1

Run, Rabbit, run Following last week's letter from a Conservative Student, and subsequent enquiries about it and other issues, I feel the need to outline the official views and direction of the Conservative Students at UEA. As regards Rabbit, the Conservative society is anything but negative. lt is a very useful vehicle for a direct communication between the Union and students, and I believe it is written within the constitution to have such a communication .

Therefore we are very keen to see it succeed, as we are with most union endeavours.

However, as the largest and most active political society on campus, it is our duty to point out irregularities where they arise, as I'm sure your

readers will appreciate and support.

After all, where are the resurrected Labour Students? Do the Greens have any serious contribution to make to this Union or university?

Who knows, but you can always rely on us to come up with ideas or spot a white elephant. We intend to continue to make our presence felt, as well as playing a more productive role than has sometimes unfortunately been the case on occasions in times past.

Toby Matthews Chairman, Conservative Students UUEAS Community and International Officer

They stole Christmas!

I would just like to express my heartfelt thanks to the anonymous person who helped solve my headaches about Christmas pr.esent choice. Last week in the Library they thoughtfully relieved me of my Christmas spending money.

There was I worrying about what to buy for my family. Now the hours I would have spent in the hustle and bustle of Norwich city centre will be cheerfully spent slaving for minimum wage in order to regain my losses.

I hope the money brings you good cheer and the thought that I hope it chokes you has never entered my head.

A genuine thanks to the library staff who were extremely helpful.

Alison Cook EAS 2 Please send letters to the address above, marked for the attention of the Editor, James Goffin. Letters must include contact details, but we will consider anonymous publication. We reserve the right to edit for length and clarity.

10 FEATURES

www.concrete-online.co.uk

Concrete

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER

29, 2000

11

What do women really talk about in the sanctuary of the LCR loos? Anna Feigenbaum went undercover to get the lowdown on UEA's girls .. . hursday night, LCR toilets. Girl A walks into the female loo. Distressed, stumbling slightly, she moves forward, and glances into the smudged, ageing mirror: "it's all gone horribly wrong!" This and other cries of woe fill the air whilst toilets flush and dryers roar. As the girls' toilet door swings open, letting in the sounds of Britney singing about her dominatrix/school girl predicament, one can't help but wonder if we're really any better than those dizzy girls that we love to hate. Fair enough, university women want to believe they have something more than Kelly Brook or Gail Porter - other than an extra stone and real breasts, of course - but get us pissed, put us in skirts, turn up the music and what you get is straight out of More! magazine.

When Blokes head to the toilet it's to accomplish one simple task, but for girls peeing is an event. First there's the queue. the perfect place to drop a few 'hellos' and make new friends.

Then you have your time in the stall - where you sit (or often squat) and ponder the night's episodes. After the quiet, relieving revelations you head to the sink. And this is where the gossiping begins. lt appears that nine times out of ten, the minds of UEA women are on men:

T

Girl 1: You going to the village later?

Girl 2: Yeah.

Girl 1: What's his name again?

Girl 2: James.

Girl 1: Oh yes James! Fantastic, he's brilliant!

Girl 1: What we really need is SEX! Girl 2: Ed didn't real ly provide that.

Girl 1: No Ed never, ever, ever, ever provided that!

''

Girl 1: What we really need is SEX! Girl 2: Ed didn't really provide that.

Girl 1 : No, Ed never, ever, ever, ever provided t hat!

Indeed, sex really is the key aspect of most of the LCR loo conversations. And sadly, it would appear that the girls of UEA are just not getting enough. For those that have experienced the LCR, this may come as a surprise, with the rash of copulating couples spread over the sticky carpet every Thursday without fail. But sure enough, what most of the girls want is more sex.

Girl 1: I'm gagging for it!

Girl 2: Pull at the LCR! Girl 3: Where pulling never fails!

But despite the seemingly desperate desire for men, the general opinion appears to be one that is pretty pissed off with the male population of this fine university.

Girl: They're all wankers!

And so the ritual continues. Once hands are washed and dried, we make the dreaded few steps and head to the mirror. Yes, this is when us girls go for the peek to see how our hair is holding up and to make sure our arses haven't grown in the last two hours. They haven't, but those mirrors are capable of disastrous effects.

Girl 1: "You're Ugly!" Did you see that edition of Concrete and the headline was 'You're Ugly'?

Girl 2: Oh right thanks very much! You know!

Girl 1: What are they trying to say? Oh holy God I hope that's the lighting in here - tell me I don't really look like that!

Girl 1: I don't know why I wear this top.

'

Girl 1: I don 't know why I wear this top.

Girl 2: You look fabulous.

Girl 1: Hideous rather. I should wear a bag over my head!

Girl 2: You look fabulous.

Girl 1: Hideous rather, I should be forced to wear a bag over my head!

But while men, sex and appearance dominate the conversation, there is always some dialogue that is fuelled by drink and little else. How else, I ask you, can you explain two grown women (alright, students) discussing with passion the possibility of acquiring boxer shorts.

Girl 1 : We are in on this seriously! We have got to get some, honestly.

Girl 2: Boxer shorts?

Girl 3: For watching our box.

Girl 1: Boxers, boxers, boxers!

Just once it would be nice to hear a girl say, "I am attractive and there is a bloke outside with an excellent personality and I would love to continue chatting with him!" But this, after all, is the LCR. where minds slowly degenerate with every pin t of beer and £1 bottle of sweet, subtle alcohol. Let's be honest, if we came for the conversation or wanted to hear music that didn't require earplugs to enjoy, we wouldn't return week after week. And if we were really trying to meet a man interested in anything more than our "box" we would leave the halter-top and knee-high boots at home. But until that day comes, it's off to the village to test out the Position of the Fortnight.

• Names have been changed to protect impotent men from further embarrassment.

• Most commonly heard phrase u!'m so very

pissed!''

•Most r4.11dom comment "Hey,

we need milk:· •N umber ot times the word 'toilet' Is heard In -a minute Six •Percent of girls unhappy with their sex lives 70% •Perce11t of girls unhappy with their appearance 85% •Percent of girls with anything remotely Interesting to say: 1%

(the. random comment reminded me J needed milk.)

FEATURES 11

www.concrete-online.co.uk

Concrete WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 29, 2000

•

u1e Be careful what you write - everyone from council officials to MI5 can now get at your emails. Peter Clarke asks why... by the Home Secretary, other forms of surveile have got used to thinking that lance are 'self-authorised' - in other words, the we live in one of the most free pattern of your Internet activities is open to and liberal societies in the world - so it might comes as a shock unregulated covert monitoring - the people you to learn that the British governemail, the websites you visit and the chat ment - in moves comparable with those of the rooms you go to. RIP allows the wholesale surauthoritarian governments of Malaysia and veillance of the British public in a direct clash with both the Universal Declaration of Human Singapore - is spying on us. Big time.

This summer, whilst the public was hooked on Rights (Article 12: 'No one shall be subjected to arbitrary interference with his privacy') and the Big Brother, the government rushed through the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act (RIPA), European Convention of Human Rights (Article 8: 'Everyone has the right to respect for his corthat extended surveillance for real. What the new law basically does is drastically extend the respondence').

This indifference towards human rights extends government's abilities to monitor electronic to the third part of the act, communications, This summer, whilst which refers to encryption. making it as easy for MI5 to read your the public was hooked In its simplest form, encryption is just jumbling up inforemails as stealing a on the mation so that it makes no glance over your sense unless you have the shoulder in the 24 government was know-how to unjumble it. hour IT lab. surveillance extending Good encryption cannot be The new powers broken even with a concerthave had a chefor real ed effort using supercom· quered history. At puters - some encyrption is first they were bunso strong that the US government classes it as dled up in the DTI's Electronic Commerce Act, military equipment. but they were soon rejected after the areas Under RIP any government official from a concerning encryption and electronic surveilJobCentre worker to a Customs and Excise offilance were discovered to be severely flawed.

These parts of the bill were dropped to save the cer can demand that you release an encryption rest of the legislation, with the DTI sharpishly key to them, the equivalent of handing over all washing their hands of the measures, leaving house, car, and safe keys.

The scariest part, though, is that if can't prothem to the Home Office. The bill, unsurprisingly, was then altered to better suit the needs of duce the key - either because you never had it, the police and security forces - the main area of or you've lost it - you can get banged up for up to two years. Unlike every other criminal Home Office concern. offence, under RIP, the burden of guilt is In their new form, the measures became the three part Regulation of Investigatory Powers reversed: you have to prove you don't have the key, but exactly how do you prove you don't Act. The first and second parts cover the interception of communications data and surveilhave something? lance, the third concerns encryption.

And if that's not enough, the act also makes it The first and second parts of the act greatly an offence to tell anyone that you have been increase the scope of Internet surveillance forced to give up your key, punishable by a prison sentence of up to open to both the police and securifive years. In theory, you The burden of guilt is ty services (such could find yourself doing reversed. Exactly time for seven years, and as MI5). RIP forces Internet how do you prove you unable to tell anyone why.

Service Providers don't have something?

(ISPs) to host SO· our mobile phone is called 'black also a prime target boxes' that interfor government surcept and scan Internet traffic made by any parveillance under RIP. The next generation of ties under suspicion of a crime. However, mobile phones will include technology that constantly tracks your position anywhere around because of the way the Internet works, it is not possible to intercept only those communications the globe. Mobile phone companies have added this feature as part of plans for online street made by the parties under investigation - all guides - use your phone, for example, to disdata traffic through the ISP must be monitored. cover where the nearest kebab house is. The Although in order to read specific emails, govproblem comes from the fact that on say so of a ernment must obtain a warrant signed

W

Big Brother,

Y

police superintendent and without the permission of the telephone company, the police can track individuals, detailing the places they go and even the people that they meet, assuming that they have mobile phones. With enough mobile phones sold for everyone in the country to have at least one, it's basically the same as electronically tagging large the entire population.

The official government line on RIP is that the measures detailed in the act are necessary to fight the 'tide' of paedophiles, pornographers and organised crime on the Internet. However, telephones and the post have been used for similar purposes and companies primarily, it would seem, to attain economic advantage over for years and yet no one has suggested that we allow government agencies the right to listen in rival countries. to all telephone converShort of abandoning The official line Is sations and open all all possessions and letters. Also, the act is moving to a shack in that the measures the Outer Hebrides so badly written that are necessary to (and even then, let's many of its provisions fight the tide of not forget about spy are easily avoided for anyone bent on crime. satellites!), in today's paedophiles and lt is almost certain that world there is there is pornographers on the always a possibility criminals will use any Internet that someone is trackmethod on offer to escape detection, and ing you. And with every year that passes, the sphere of influence grows the threatened prison sentences pale into insignificance for the hardcore criminals the wider. Indeed, how long before nothing escapes measures are supposed to be aimed at - would the attentions of the relevant authorities gaze? you rather serve a two year sentence for failing History tells us that although intentions may be to handover your encryption key, or life for big good, abuse of power is practically inevitable. time drug dealing? The only people left to be spied upon are ordinary law abiding citizens.

RIP is undoubtedly the most worrying developCONCRETE ONLINE ment in recent years regarding the loss of personal privacy, but ifs only one part of increaswww.concret e-onllne.co.uk ingly intrusions into society. For several years now every car that has left London on a major RIP Information Centre road has been tracked by traffic cameras and www.fipr.org.rip given a routine background check. Certain STAND Campaign Underground stations in the capital use face recognition software to enable police to spot www .stand.org.uk known criminals amongst crowds through the Home Office RIP guide use of CCTV. No-one can deny that the police www.homeoffice.gov.uk/ do a useful job in keeping criminals off the ripa/ripact.htm streets but past experience shows us that it is very rare that technological advances such as these are not quickly abused.

So in a few short years we may be looking at mobile phone tracking and Internet surveillance, linked with the increasing numbers of CCTV cameras in our streets, leading to the possibility of complete surveillance - from turning on your mobile phone in the morning, driving your car through traffic monitoring cameras to withdrawing money from a highstreet cash machine - everything can be watched.

But this isn't a brand new phenomenon - the practice of large scale eavesdropping has been going on for years. Most of the global communications network is monitored thanks to agreements between the US, UK, Canada, Australia and New Zealand and through the use top secret interception facilities, of which the largest is at Menwith Hill in the Yorkshire Dales. This system, known as Echelon and operational since 1971 , is designed to monitor electronic communications in bulk and, through the use of extremely advanced software, to identify messages of interest. Although the system was originally designed to spy on the Soviet Bloc as part of the Cold War it is now used routinely to spy on private citizens

@

Present

correct

Stuck for Ideas? Jo Locke looks at the best his afld hers bargains available In Norwich•••

Toys I The Christmas toy , . . . Is dlie

once more. NlkkiiiWitltt reports...

Ifs that lime of year again, when d the lllle ldddle winkles thumb their way through the weB wom copies of the Argos catalogue and pick out the toys they want the most.

Thousands of toy adverts are ten'orlzlng our televisions and trying to persuade aH thoSe patents to nip down the shops and purchase the latest piece of plasCic that will make every child's Christmas a dream come 11\18.

The past Star WSIS Memorablla : OK, every yooog W/11 dream was to be a Jedl a la W. Skywalkar, p~~Dtectlng the galaxy from the dark side. Star WSIS ~---.1 toys and figures were the dream of pre-pubescent yoLilg man, In-·-·~ of their very own Prlnce88 l..ela.

Unlwprfslngly the phenomenon lives on.

Transformers: 'Robots In dl&gulae' was the slogan, • theee strangely alwped planll and all'l ........~

........,..... transblliiiiOft No whll..• Aoballlt •

~

Where is the spirit of Christmas?

We sent Father Christmas into the fine metropolis of Norwich to find the elusive spirit of Saint Nick. Then this happened ...

Midday, Norwich City Centre, St. Stephen's Street Ho ho ho! Hello girls and boys, Father Christmas here, and I've come to this marvellous pl:lce you call Norwich to find the spirit of Chris:mas. Shouldn't be too hard by the looks of all th3se merry citizens, either! On St Stephen's Street, paupers rejoice in Christian song, and rogueish youngsters doff their cloth caps towards their elders whilst ruddy-faced cherubs warrn the brisk wintry air with cheery cries of "Merrv Christmas, Mr Claus!". At least I think that's what they are shouting, and I toss them a farthir,g with a chortle of "a fatted goose for you ~nd yours, young squire!" Envigorated by a quick nip of Santa's little helper (tasty Super T, avanable from all good off licenses) I decide to aco:>st some ladies of maturity. "Hello, are you the spirit of Christmas?" I enquire of

one lady. She says nothing, looking somewhat awkward and, I dare say, slightly afraid. I try another old gent "I'm deaf', he bellows, before hobbling off sharpish. Hmm. Seems the spirit of Christmas is to be found elsewhere. Let's try the shops!

12.15: Castle Mall Ahal You can feel the spirit here, all right Children peer longingly through toy shop windows, Christmas song floats through the tannoy speakers, and haircuts of questionable heredity clamber over one another to worship at the altar of capitalism. So much love, I can almost feel it in my trousers. Having imbibed healthy lungfuls of SO-infused Crimbo atmosphere (plus the rest of the Super T I had stashed in my portly faux-belly) I'm drawn to Lunn Poly to make a personal enquiry. Upon

entering I am served almost immediately by a handsome young till filly. This is the stuff! "Hello, I'd like a round-the-world ticket, please!", I boom stentoriously. The young lady looks somewhat amused at my request "Er, would that be all in one night, sir? Stopping off at children's houses?" Now this is the sort of service I expect at Christmas! 'Why, yes!", I cry, "have you got one?". "Er, no", she replies rather unhelpfully,

fascist f-ker!" lt would seem that my quest is more difficult than I expected. Unperturbed, and geed up by a sly nip of my seasonal pick-me-up (Sainsbury's Economy Vodka, £6.99 if you're paying, but easy to hide under a big red smock) I decide that the only place to find true seasonal spirit is in that most innocent of places • the heart of a child. To the park!

12.30: Chapelfleld Gardens

''

I toss the children a farthing with a chortle

of "a fatted goose for you and yours, young squire!"

before ignoring me in favour of some woman.

"Do you know who I am?", I interject. "I'm Father Christmas! I don't expect to be treated quite so importunately!" Still she ignores me, and I soon find myself being quietly ushered out by other staff. One of them even attempts to manhandle my beard. ~Frabjous ass!", I cry, "No toys for you! You're top of my naughty list now you

Having experienced some considerable trouble finding the park in the first place, I finally chance upon Chapelfield Gardens. A playground full of children, yelping with joy and life, greets me as I make my tortuous way through the bushes. "Ho ho ho!" I cry upon my emergence, "hello children! I'm Father Christmas!". There is a long silence, eventually broken when a faint sobbing sound transpires from behind the seesaw.

Mothers begin to hurriedly usher their ashenfaced children away. As it starts to rain, I seat myself on the swings, and quietly sup my tipple.

That soon does the trick, with a feeling of seasonal warmth spreading down my throat and inside leg. At length some chap in a blue uniform tells me in no uncertain terms to be

gone from the playground. I eventually manage to communicate to the fellow that he can't have the swings to himself, that's just greedy, and that anyway there's no law against Father Christmas warming his cockles in a children's playground. He claims that in fact there is, and he should know, he's a policeman. At least I think that's what he said, because at this point 1 am somewhat incapacitated by a sudden and inexplicable feeling of indigestion which causes me to be sick all over the young man's walky talky. Must have been all that figgy pudding I had for elevenses.

Alas, from hereon in I cannot remember if I discovered the object of my quest or not, but judging by the somewhat troublesome bowel movements which which awoke me the next morning, I can conclude that the spirit of Christmas is available at £6.99 from all good Sainsbury's, and can now be found adorning a cold police cell in Norwich despite the best effort of the cleaners. Ah well, as Noel Edmonds once said, "Christmas? All a pile of wank if you ask me", and to be honest I couldn't agree more. I'm off to piss on some snowmen and sell all my reindeer to the knackers yard so they can be made into glue. Cheers!

v-.

.. , ,

~---··~~ young"b''y ~fOr m.llr.WiY'ctl.n

robot. Stlangaly they cldn't laat long.

My Utile Pony : Comy I know, a hof8e with wings and a oonPibte tall, the geniuses at Matte! realty had their w011t aJt out to oome up with that ldeel They lasted only a couple of yeac~_..lftde gk18 raall8ed that playing with Barble and Ken was nU:h more Cf881ive, after al Batbla had boob8.

T~The.:ndllue. . . . alen toys wllich came In -lhal

11--.

For 11r1a••• 10 under £1.0

embarra8aed about buying lt • from what else they sell at Ann St.mmers, this is very tamer

• Larger and line Condoms from Ann Surnmela, 3 for £3.50 For those of you who want to take

• Night Club Ught from Argos for £9.99 a boogle but can't make it out to the LCR? This is the perfect solu· tion. For £9.99 you get hours of revolVIng coloured lights, so when you feel a bit down, whack on your Sive CD and on Up!

~--..;,Feel.:: like

the pub home with you, here Is the answer, providing hours of funl Or minutes, as the case maybe.

• Glitter Bal from Topshop for the bargaln price of £4.50 wittl NUS Oisc:otn • Chocolate Body Paint from Ann Summers, £3.99, paintbrush included!

Whether you want to smear all over a body, or eat lt out Inflatable Sheep at Ann the tube when the Nutella runs for £15.99 out Is up to you. Think of the you'Ve been disappointed with chocolate possibilities! number of sheep available in • Satin Evening Bag from Debenhams, £5 Norwich here is the solution. Within minutes This bag Is the ideal way to finish off that out· of heavy blowing you'll have your very own fit over the Christmas period without breaking inflatable friend • be careful not to pop it! the bank. They come in a variety of colours • 'Homer 3D Soap on a Rope' at Boots for £3 Including fuchsia, the colour of the season ~,- -...

Bo ....ring pmsents on your list? Doh! whilst ClOI'ling in classic black which • FCUK Hair Wax for £3.99 and goes with anything!

Detox Shampoo for £2.99 at • Cocktail Set at J.Sainsbury's for £4.99 you can't afford to keep up Don't tell the resident tutor • your man's expensive

but If you're plamlng on having a kitchen party why not liven tt up with some cocktails? Contains coc:tctall

shaker with a rneasurtng lld,

=~~~=

Idling mixtunts. Bafora you knOw

it you1 be blending up h an expetU • Glitter belt from Warehouae, £6 each.

• Boots Frashl Lemon Mertngue Balh Jely, 23.50 for 125 mL Smells good enough to 881 - but don'WalrNt In a bath of scrumptloua lemon merlnp and get a zJngy high any calories what so evert • Boots Fresh! Cheeky Chappy Body SoufN and Silver Cloud Body Souftle. £5 for

cloud.

• Pocket Karma Sutra from Ann Summers for £6.99 Hu the Freeher's love affair flz· zled out a bit? Do you need a bit of hot lovtn' to get back to having sex like rabbits? This easily readable book wiH provide hours of stimulation and is the perfect excuse to stay In bed in the mornings. Don't be

Are you a Christmas misery?

Does December fill you with dread? Or are you crossing off the days? Find out in Concrete's Christmas questionnaire...

future

(yippee), the pooping Poo-chl? A doll which can make our dinner, do our coursewont and basically take over our life? Toys seem to have come a long way, but aren't they just a rehashed version of the old lol? Let f8ce it, Belbie and Aclion Man will alwap n*t, n julll . . ldda TV, the old stuff is always the best. Isn't lt?

Stuffer at The Shopfor£5 Conltalnil ActMat Shower gel, Sollp and a tlannel. to auggeellhld he doesn't or anytting...

• Flp Top Ughl8r at Next for £5.99 Classy, just a lltlle bit like Bond. And thafs Important

• Bollle Opener Key Ring at Next for £5.99 This tool Is limply Invaluable to . . average ~male, who wll re80ft to openbottles with teeth, which will eplttlng blood for an hour.

Timer Key Ring at

£5.99 I beet two mlnulas...•

A gorgeous mousse for aR over your bodyt This~ and fluffy I'I'10isturi&er d leave your eldn as aoft as a

what p(.malhe form cf . . . ..

They cauaed nu:tllafUIIIe

So whars in store for those klddles in the future? The Playstatlon 3

Stoc~

200g

spoke,~ 'EKDH' . . .....

The

tastes, here's a won't tum his nose

Christmas, eh? lt may begin for Woolworths in early Octobe·r, but only as December comes around and the Advent calendars start being opened up will Christmas really feel to be upon us. But does Christmas tide have you reaching for the 50% proof spirit, or will you be donning your paper hat with pride. Let Concretes Christmas Questionnaire reveal aiL

1. This Christmas you will send cards to ... a) All 300 people on your list (though you only know about 7 of them well). Every single one will be sent by December 10, and all will be hand written. b) A few friends, and possibly close f~ily.

You'll also senj out a few festive emails. c) No cards, but ripped newspaper with 'happy Xmas' scrawled in blood.

2. When it comes to s hopping for presents you ... a) Had everything planned by late November, with six full days set aside for shopping. You will also check your log of last year's presents, to make sure there are no embarrassing repeats from a year ago. b) Buy a few in the run up to Christmas, but not spend too much time worrying about it it's the thought (or lack of it) that counts, anyway. c) Hunt the streets for animal corpses that can be decorated with ribbon and distributed to close family members.

3. What do you think i s the mea ning of Christmas? a) Having a really, really festive wonderful time with family.

b) Getting lots of presents, eating too much, and falling asleep. c) lt means nothing. Nothing I tell you!

4.Jt's Christmas Eve· what d o you plan to do? a) Gather with close family and sing hymns all evening before finally going to sleep at the late hour of 10.4:5pm. b) Perpaps spend the evening with friends, hav· ing a quiet drink to celebrate the festive time of year. c) Get hideously drunk and mark the birth of Christ Our Lord by vomiting over luxury gift

wrap.

5. What do y o u do If a 10 year old relative w akes you up at some Godf orsaken ho ur?

a) Jump up and wish them a Merry Christmas, before bounding downstairs, cursing the fact they were awake before you. b) Wish them a Merry Christmas, tell them you'll be up in a minute, then lock the door and go back to sleep for a few hours. c) Put to use that Chloroform that's been knock· ing around your room for a while ...

6. What's your Christmas morning like? a) Get up at 6am and wake up the house with a CD of favourite carols before placing presents at plaoe mats and waiting. And then waiting some more. b) Get up around 10am and wish your family a merry Christmas. Eat breakfast c) Get up about 1pm feeling like a rat has pissed in your mouth. Find out a rat has actually pissed in your mouth.

8. Grandma gives you a lovely jumper, with four arms, that s he has spent the l ast year knitting. Do y ou ... a) Give Grandma a big kiss and put it on for the rest of the day. And Boxing Day too. b) Smile, try it on, then put it away for a while.

Or forever, as the case may be. c) Scream "You don't understand me, you bitch" and slap Grandma with a kipper. Then take the jumper outside, douse it in petrol and burn it, cackling as it smoulders.

9. The Queen's Speech. Do you ... a) Watch and listen intently, before clapping loudly and singing the National Anthem. Then do the same for the repeat b) Completely forget it's even on. c) Chant satanic rituals throughout.

10. The rest of the day- what's the plan?

7. What do y ou do during Christmas lunch? a) Pull the crackers excitedly, wear the paper hat until Easter, and make jolly conversation about how wonderful Christmas is. a) Don the hat briefly and eat. A lot. d) Stay silent during the meal, wondering intensely exactly how the turkey was killed, and how long it took.

a) Open all the presents and insist • really insist - on a round of Christmas games. Pretend you' re not disappointed when you lose, although you really are. b) Fall asleep in front of several family films before making a turkey sandwich. c) Spend the entire afternoon in your room mas· turbating.

Mostly As Oh, dear. Christmas really is the pinnacle of the year for you, isn't it? You're the kind of person who greets the summer holiday with the thought that it's only six months until December. You take Christmas shopping far too seriously, and also buy presents for people you hardly know who won't even get you a card. This will make you very angry, but you won't let it show

'

The rest of the day what's the plan?

Spend the afternoon

in your room masturbating?

(much). On Christmas Day you will find genuine uses for the little things you get in your cracker.

The night before, you simply have to go to bed before midnight, and insist on injecting the spirit of Christmas into every person you meet for around a month beforehand. Please don't.

Mostly Bs You have a well-adjusted view of Christmas.

You are aware of what the festival is about, but

for

come with a guarantee of

least five broken ~ Wllhin two weeb of purchase.

• Minlalure Foolball at All Sports for £6.99 Living room fun for the whole of Christmas.

Until you hit the tree.

also recognise the potential in eating and sleep· ing a lot. You enjoy both giving and receiving presents. Christmas is about friends, so a round of emails and a drink with mates close to the day will suit you just fine. On the day itself, you enjoy watching poor family TV and eating a good lunch. Christmas Eve will see you franti· cally wrapping presents around 1am, before sleeping in for a few hours on the morning itself.

And that's how it should be done.

Mostly Cs Don't worry, it'll all be over before you know it.

You really can't stand the month of December, can you? The Christmas spirit makes you more sick than the alcohol you guzzle down to escape it aiL You make little effort In terms of cards and presents, but are still secretly really happy when you get what you want. However, you cannot show this. Your only excitement in the build up to Christmas is the knowledge it will soon be over, and Christmas Eve is just a good excuse to get hammered.

Christmas Day isn't much fun hungover, but it isn't much fun anywhere, so all in all, you don't give a damn.

Will Halsey

14 FEATURES

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Shopping for clothes just ain 't as much fun as it used to be, with sizes differing wildly between stores. Nikki Mallett and Elin Jones pounded the high street to try it on ... here was a time when you could dash into a shop, try on the first item that came to hand, buy it and wear it that night, but nowadays clothes sizes are so inconsistent that it is beginning to ruin the enjoyment of shopping.

Now think back, have you ever walked into a shop knowing exactly what size you are without a single doubt in your mind? The answer is probably no.

The problem is that every shop has different size specifications. Meaning that in one shop you could fit into a size 10,

around.

We tested out five popular high street shops for size - Oasis, Topshop, H&M, Next and Marks and Spencer - trying on shirts, skirts trousers and tops to get a clear view of the ranges. Four hours later, with smudged lipstick and messy hair we made our decision. Unsurprisingly Marks and Spencer came out on top. Following their recent survey that aimed to discover the true size of women's bodies, they seem to have got it right with a range of clothes that have a consistently good fit. However, there is still a problem: Bottom of the pile was they may have got the whereas in another you ' ' can only just get the sizes right, but the TopShop. The majority of button done up in a size styling still needs a lot their clothes may be spot on of 12. There seems to be work. in terms of fashion, but they Bottom of the pile was no consistent measurements. In fact, fashion giant Topshop, barely cover your nipples.

BliSl the majority of high a favourite among girls Tok~ rn~.wtemeru of 18 upwards. Yes, the street shops even fail to across ruaest part and design two pairs of trousers of the same size to majority of their clothes may be spot-on in terms across shoulder bladK.. .. the same measurements. This problem means of fashion, but the skimpy items they stock barely Waist that taking two sizes of each item into the cover your nipples if you are slightly better Me<I$U~ ;) t CXll\d changing room is becoming a common problem, endowed than Kate Moss. In fact, they seem to natural waistline forget that women actually have curves. ruining the appeal of shopping, as well as Hips messing up your hair because of all the faffing The differenc.e in sizes between Topshop and Mcasure.4t Marks and Spencer could indeed send a person widest part into the deepest depression - in Topshop you have to squeeze yourself into a size bigger than Inside Leg whatever fitted perfectly in M&S. ~$U~ f10flllfle A spokesperson for Topshop agreed that women's top of the IMide bodies were changing and that their sizing needs leg at the crutch a rethink. "The last time that the official dress t9thchem. sizes were set was In the fifties. At that time there was a different shape and a lot of factors that influenced dress sizes, like rationing after the war or failing that you have to squeeze yourself into an outfit that was designed to fit a pre-pubescent and undergarments!' She added, "We have teenager. Since both recognised that the are unlikely (unless of existing sizes we have The last time that the are not appropriate in course you enjoy official dress sizes were today's society.• bulging out of the The Arcadia Group, of seams of the latest set was in the fifties. At which Topshop is a part, boob tube) the result is that time there was a is also the company that that you either have to lower your ego by owns Evans and Oorothy different shape. choosing a size up in Parkins, twoforshops are known more which - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - the fashion shops, or generous clothes sizes. Even the popular revert to the likes of M&S or Next for their idea of Warehouse - also part of Arcadia - manages to the latest fashion trends in order to preserve your stock fashionable clothes that go up to a size 16 self esteem. in almost all their ranges, whereas Topshop only For some this situation is not a problem; in fact, stock a few ranges up to a size 16 in their stores. there a few people who seem to fit themselves lt seems that to be fashionable you have to either into any outfit, however tiny, that emerges on the be the perfect shape, which in reality doesn't exist, rails in any shop. There are also those people who always say, 'nowhere stocks anything in a size six, I guess I'll have to buy the size eight', you lot know who you are so stop smiling at the misfortune of those you are built slightly larger than the size eight frame. Not that I'm saying, of course, that being a size eight has no downfalls, but you have to admit that the clothes normally left ANGLIAN HOME IMPROVEMENTS COULD BE THE ANSWER. on the rack are always a size eight or 10. Although OUR FRIENDLY CITY-CENTRE OFFICE IS ALWAYS ON THE whether they are actually a true size eight or 10 is a completely different matter. In fact, who is to say LOOKOUT FOR EVENING TELEPHONE MARKETING STAFF. ., what a true size is anyway? The clothes vary so WITH FLEXIBLE SHIFTS AND FULL TRAINING, AN HOURLY much from store to store that the actual sizing RATE PLUS A TARGET-RELATED BONUS, THE BETTER YOU guide seems to have lost all its reason.

Clothes sizes are still a problem and they always GET, THE MORE YOU CAN EARN. WORK AS FEW OR AS MANY will be. If the Arcadia Group are unable to design SHIFTS PER WEEK AS YOU WOULD LIKE, AND START MAKING clothes for their many stores under the same size specifications, then how on earth can we expect SOME BEER MONEY NOW! shops like Next and Oasis to produce clothes that are designed under the same size structure?

CALL NICK OR BECKY ON 01603 616391 lt seems that this is something that us girls will DURING SHIFT TIME FOR FURTHER DETAILS have to live with, as we continue to jump for joy in the likes of M&S or Next having fitted into a size AND AN INTERVIEW, OR LEAVE A MESSAGE smaller than normal, only to have our good ONTHEANSWERPHON~ humour dashed when we can't squeeze ourselves into the same size item in Topshop. · '

T

''

LOOKING FOR AN EVENING JOB TO SUBSIDISE STUDENT LIFE?

Concrete

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER

29, 2000

Hennes Shirt and tops - good sizes, but often fit the boobs but too big around waist Jeans • the size was okay but they were fitted on hip but not on waist.

Skirt - two tried on, were both same size but one was tighter than the otherf Sizes are a mixture of European, British and lettered (xs, I, m etc.)

Falrfy good sizing, and cut to fit people with tits and hips!

Oasis Shirts • gOod fit, but gaping.

Jeans - okay, but waist too high and too big around waist.

Skirt - good fit.

Top - a bit baggy at the waist.

Sizes are fairly roomy, but cut tor people with no definition, Clear labelling of sizes and falrfy accurate.

TopShop Shirt - fitted well at waist, but so 1lght around the bust looked as though I'd been vacuumpacked into it.

Jeans - perfect fit.

Skirt • good fit, a little tight around the hips.

T·shlrt • perfect fit.

Huge dlff8renoes in alzea. usually'TopShop

clothes are cut tor curwlel8 women and are

amall sizes.

MAS Shirt • good fit, bulsllghlly too big around

waist.

Jeans - too high at walet, and slightly too big.

Skirt • good sl%e, fitted well on hlpa.

T-ehlrt • fitted well.

M & s haw done a~ of women's s1as and haw revised their alz:lnglas a I'8IUit, ao their clothes 818 ger181'81y I'1'IOf8 roomy than In olwshope

Next Shirt • beet fit, but 8tll glplng slightly at bust.

Jeans • axcellent Ill. but oollattering cut.

Skirt • pertect fit, but a bit high on Mlill Top (10) ·tine.

Next clothes 818 normlly bigger bin OCher ahops. the cut Is not normaly 81 fuhlonable, _but the clothes are good quality.

Concrete

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER

FEATURES 11

www .concrete-online.co.uk

29, 2000

ave •

ar1s

Six hours from Norwich and possibly the perfect present. Anna Feigenbaum spent a weekend avoiding the sights, speaking English, and enjoying the French men ...

e ne parle pas Francais". l don't think I've ever used a phrase so many times in one weekend.

Ok, so it's probably because I am just another American who forgets that English isn't the universal language, but somehow I managed to get by and spent two brilliant days eating, drinking, and laughing -well more like being laughed at.

I wish I could write about how spectacular the Louvre exhibitions were, how great the Eiffel Tower was, and how I'll never forget standing under the Arc de Triomphe, but I didn't set foot in a museum, was too hungover to make the Eiffel Tower, and the only time I saw the arch was through a taxi window. Despite this, I had a wonderful weekend.

''J

Travel details .. :.

Getting and staying there Eurostar's basic return fare to Paris is around £80, but STA Travel offer a student off peak discount which takes it down to around £60. Flights can cost as little as £70 (check British Midland out) but the plane does dump you outside the city at Charles de Gaulle airport. The best bet is perhaps getting a deal which includes travel and hotel. STA offer a package with tra10 and two nights' hostel accommodation for £79.

Holidays with hotel accommodatton can be found tor around £109, look at lastminute.com if planning ahead is not your style.

Friday Morning: our journey begins. 11 took ten hours to get from UEA to Gare du Nord in Paris. On an average day, you could make it in 6-7 hours, but we were still drunk from the night before and had two train delays. The train Itself was fairly comfortable, and while the food and beer prices were high they were not ridiculous, and the automatic doors were quite cool. Plus we happened to be in a car with 15 extremely pissed, flag-waving (and yes I mean literally flag-waving) Swedes which provided entertainment during the three hour ride. After a fantastic late meal we 90t some sleep, for about the last time over the weekend.

Saturday Saturday morning we woke to croissants (useless fact: croissants are actually Turkish and not French) and cafe au lait. We spent the morning shopping and found some great buys. Leather boots, a dress, a jumper, a shirt, hat and gloves for about £90. Girls should check out Primkie, a clothing store similar to H&M or TopShop with a little more style at about the same prices.

All the shopping worked up our appetite so we grabbed a seat in a small cafe. Lunches are

usually small meals of either fromage et pain or a grilled panini with mozzarella, tomatoes, and ham.

Rose wine, rather than red or white is good with a light midday meal. Waiters, even in cafes wear tuxedos (sans the jacket). And most of ours were young and attractive, which was an added perk.

After lunch we walked alollg the River Seine past vendors and over beautiful bridges that cross the water every few hundred metres. The Cathedral of Notre Dame is a popular attraction in this area.

Built between 1163 and 1345, its gorgeous stained glass windows, chapels, and tombs are bound to cast a spell on even the most hedonistic atheist.

At around 6pm we hopped on the Metro and made our way back to where the hotel. 1t was getting dark and therefore, as any student knows, time to start drinking. We picked up a bottle of wine, which can be bought at any corner store for as little as £1.50. We then found an Italian restaurant to have dinner, Ristorante ltaliano, as the place was imaginatively called, which cost about 1/3 less than Friday night's French dinner.

Italian dishes are popular in Paris and are available almost everywhere in the city.

Around midnight we got ready for our big night out. One of the very attractive waiters had told us about a strip of clubs on boats along the water, which sounded good. Our taxi ride to the docks cost about £8 and the queue was long and slow, but admission was only about a fiver, which was surprisingly low. The place, Batofar, was small but the crowd was great. Drinks were expensive about £4 each, so spirits seemed to be a better buy in general. Indeed, standard drinks came with about three times as much alcohol as they do in England, which softened the blow of the price.

Before setting off to Paris we had heard some pretty unappealing things about French men, but everyone we met over the weekend was great.

And while they were not English gentlemen, they

did look pretty good in a pair of tight jeans. One out of every two or three blokes we saw was pretty good, so girls may be advised to get a ticket. Plus - from what I've heard - French men can back up their sexy smiles with an impressive performance between the sheets. French men, unlike most British and American males, have a completely altruistic desire to - wait for it - sexually satisfy women. Why am I studying in England again?

Sunday Returning to the hotel at daybreak, we decided to take a short nap, a short nap that proceeded to last six hours. Our "be a proper tourist plan" - ie. to take an unnecessary roll of pictures in front of the Eiffel Tower because that's what everyone else does - was ruined . Instead we sat around eating and listened to French radio; station 101 .5FM plays an eclectic mix of current French, British, Spanish and American hits.

With much of the afternoon gone, we took a taxi back to Gare du Nord. We drove through the heart of the city, catching a glimpse of the Arc de Triomphe and the tip of the Eiffel Tower from between buildings. Of course we managed to miss another train (we decided the clocks were all fast) so the return trip took a good nine hours.

Overall, the non-stop weekend was amazing. Marmite on toast, sausages, and baked beans may be English traditions, but I'll go with croissants and creme brulee. From the gorgeous architecture to the tall, dark, handsome men, Paris is like an endless orgasm.

Eating and Drinking Prix Fix dinners in Paris restaurants cost about £10-£15 a head and include an appetiser, entree, desert, and cup of coffee.

A glass of wine costs about £2 and you should throw in a small tip. £15-20 may seem like a lot for one meal, but the food is delicious and you'll be eating for two or three hours.

Drinks can be expensive, but wine is available all over the city from as little as £1.50 a bottle, while spirits in clubs are loaded with more alcohol than British counterparts.

CONCRETE ONLINE www.concrete-onllne.co.uk www.statravel.co.uk www.lastmlnute.com ~----------------------------~ '

Pregnant?

featured •

would never sell as well afterwards.

What he had so far was good . That much he knew. But it didn't make you sit up in shock. What "Freedom's Captive" needed was the "God Damn" factor.

He called it the "God Damn" factor after his tenth grade English teacher, Mr Sherwood, who'd written A++ and "God Damn!" in red pen across the top of his first short story. Mr Sherwood had got into trouble with the school board for blasphemy but he'd like the story so much he'd helped Mario send it off to three literary journals. Five weeks later all three had offered publication and his dream of being a writer had started to take shape.

ven1n

Betty Hediro t was Saturday night and their apartment was empty - save for Brutus , their cat, and the aquarium of Neon Tetras Brutus was trying get into. He was sat by it now, pawing at the glass, his thick, grey fur glowing blue in the aquarium's light. · 'Still trying to find a way in , hey boy?"

He smiled at the eat's determination, "Still think you'll be able to pass your paw right through the glass , don't you?" The cat turned at the sound of his voice, one raised paw resting on the glass, two bright green eyes looking over at him.

"You never were the smartest cat on the block, were you boy?"

Brutus turned away again, far more interested in the little flashes of red and blue flitting before his eyes than in anything Mario had to say . A lone Neon Tetra swam lazily along the aquarium's edge and Brutus attacked the glass again ; his paw a flurry of grey. He turned his face towards Mario as it sailed past untouched: his eyes the same old mixture of resignation and surprise.

Mario chuckled to himself, "Eight years Brutus.

Eight years and you 're still surprised."

Much as he loved Brutus he was definitely the thickest cat they'd ever owned. You only had to glance at his eyes to know that the lights were on but that no-one was home: they stared out vacantly at the world as though it contained nothing he could ever be interested in. Brutus turned back to the aquarium , determined not to let another fish sail past his claws .

They 'd bought the aquarium eight years ago with -the first royalty cheque from his debut novel "Jazz Cafe", and even now Brutus was still trying to pass through the glass. His wife had wanted fancy angelfish and swordtails but he'd held out for his shoal of Neon Tetras: thirty-six shimmering dashes of red and blue darting among the plants. Ever since they were young lovers in college they'd talked about getting a cat and an aquarium together. Their first cat, Orpheus, had come with their first apartment but, somehow, the aquarium got overlooked along the way. Three years and two cats later the first royalty cheque from Jazz Cafe had arrived and suddenly they hadn't had an excuse any more. For twelve months they'd chased Brutus off the old dresser it stood on trying to keep some illusion of control till one evening they'd finally just surrendered, digging out a old

I

''

She got annoyed with the endless questions about her life with "the angriest voice to come out of the barrio"

y the time he'd met Louise in college he'd published two collections of short stories , a collection of essays , and was cruising his way to a Creative Phd on a fully funded writing scholarship. Louise, by comparison , was far from being a scholarship student: she came from money, serious money. Her father was a big shot property tycoon who'd nearly had a fit the first time she'd taken Mario home for the weekend. Some poor scholarship kid from the barrio who wanted to be a writer? With his daughter? Not in this lifetime!

Well, not back then anyway. After "Jazz Cafe" came out things seemed to improve. Nine months at the top of the bestsellers list and reviews that called it "the most accomplished debut in fifty years" and "Stunning! Buy this book immediately!" had seemed to break the ice. Unfortunately they'd been married for two years by then and her father couldn 't exactly turn back time and come to their wedding but at least h~ ' d started to shake him by the hand after that.

He glanced at the desk out of the corner of his eye . No , no-one would be calling this one "stunning". Well not as it currently stood. He needed something else to add to the mix.

B

cushion and putting it up there for him to sleep on.

Since that day the aquarium and the dresser had been Brutus' personal fiefdom and domain . He guarded both religiously . ario looked over at his desk by the window; the pile of papers and notebooks he should be turning into his next book. He was way behind schedule this time: he hadn't touched his computer in days and his agent had started calling again .

"Never a good sign when your agent starts calling to find out how the book's coming along, hey boy?"

Brutus was ignoring him , not even swivelling his ear towards the couch : no-one was going to distract him from his task this time . He shifted his weight, alternating feet to pad at the glass with his left paw now. The fish didn't even notice him anymore anyway; total indifference to Brutus' attempts passed down in each successive generation of fish.

Mario glanced again at his desk: he was avoiding going back to it. Freedom's Captive would be his fifth novel in 11 years and, to be honest, it wasn 't there yet. There was something missing from the novel. lt needed another angle , a different layer: something to raise it beyond the mundane. Oh, he could complete it now and it would sell okay, riding on the success of his other books, but he'd be shooting himself in the foot if he did. His books

M

ouise had been gone three hours now and instead of heading straight to his desk when she left he'd been sat on the couch listening to the wind whistling through the trees outside.

She'd gone out with some old girlfriends. A college reunion. Four overachieving executive types with overachieving husbands and divorces and one exoverachieving executive who'd married a writer from the barrio. Should make for a fun evening, he thought to himself. Every time she went to one of these things she came back a little more frustrated , a little more disenchanted with the life she'd once thought she wanted. She got annoyed with the constant questioning of her life choices: her

L

decision to quit work and take up painting now that his novels paid all the bills. The endless questions about her life with "the angriest voice to come out of the barrio in a generation"; whether that made him violent at home. The idiotic questions about whether he was "sensitive" in bed because he was a writer. They'd once spent an entire weekend in bed under the dubious excuse of assessing that question after a previous reunion. e'd never understood her need for these nights but then he wasn 't much of a 'social whirl' kind of guy anyway. A quiet drink with his friends from the old neighbourhood . A basketball game on the local courts. Going for pasta at Mama Del's on the corner. That was his kind of thing . Drinks and dinner in an overpriced fancy restaurant with overdressed fancy executives? No thanks! Not if he could avoid it.

Every time she came back and said how glad she was to be out of that lifestyle; for them to have enough money for her just to study painting like she'd always dreamed, and yet every time they called her she still went. lt was one of the contradictions he loved about her. One of the things that drove him up the wall.

After her last miscarriage not one of her college 'friends' had called to see how she was doing. lt had been her new friends, his relatives , she had turned to for support. And yet tonight she would be out with her sorority 'sisters' discussing who's son was playing little league , who's daughter had started dating . Even after fifteen years together he still wasn 't any closer to fathoming her out.

H

he wind was really starting up now, the birch tree whipping at the window over the desk, attracting Brutus. He'd dropped down from the dresser, padded across the carpet and leapt up to land among the papers on the desk; heading for his other favourite spot, the window ledge.

Now, as he crossed the desk, his tail brushed the piled papers sending a hidden biro tumbling to the floor.

"Don't suppose you want to knock out a couple of chapters for me whilst you 're up there do you Brutus? Fill a couple of blank pages for me?"

Brutus paused, one foot among the papers on the desk the other three already pulling him up onto the window ledge. He turned towards the couch fo r a moment, fixing Mario's eyes in the gloom of the apartment before turning away, pulling himself up onto the window ledge and settling down to leave his nose print on the glass, another cat smear on his portal to the outside wo rld.

"No, somehow I didn't think you would."

His back to the room , Brutus' green eyes searched the darkening sky for little flashes of red and blue.

T

Text© Betty Hediro Send stories, poetry and plays for this page (1800 words max) to su.concrete@uea.ac.uk

Monday

"Play" Student Night 2-4-1 long cocktails + Heineken Free entry 7pm-1am 23 Bank Plain Norwich NR2 4SF 01603 619961 ponana@ norwich17.fsnet.co.uk

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18 FEATURES

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Last week Tony Blair lambasted the r ight-w ing press for what he saw as a consistently negative portrayal of Europe following crit ic is m by Margaret Thatcher over British involvemenet in creating a European army. We fo und out w hat you t hought about the situation and whether the Prime Minister was justified in his comments. gullible.

John Dyer (BIO 1)

Blair is just trying to protect himself, the tabloid press reflect publi c opinion.

Catherine Morris (EAS 2)

I don 't think it's a politician's place to criticise the press. Freedom of the press is one of th e most important chec ks and balances thi s cou ntry has.

Kate Stinton (EAS 4)

Blair knows more than The Sun who are just trying to sell newspapers . Europe could be a good thin g in the future .

Stuart Fowker (LAW 1) I do agree with Blair because basical ly the tabloids con tradict themselves. They so report stuff badly but if the public buys it th en it just goes to show that they're

F- the press.

Bill Vine (EAS 2) When th e likes of the Daily Mail start spouting off on a subject it's usually a good enough indication that you should take the completely opposite viewpoint. Jingoistic

29, 2000

Aries

Never mind what your mind is tell ing you at the moment, you real ly are doing fine. With both money and re lation~ ships being at the fore you are going to need to do some jugg ling, but if you manage to keep your head you're in line for a pretty happy Christmas (as long as you're liver holds up ... dialysis is not the present you're after) . ~;

111{£;..)

Taurus You may feel tempted to air your arrogant side over the coming weeks, as ot her people's weaknesses become apparent. However, no one likes a smart arse so try not to thrust your own superioty down their th roats. Your new found sensitivity to the failings of others might bear fruit ... and even if it doesn't. at least you won't end up dead in a gutter somewhere.

Gemini Although you pride youself on your ability to get along with other people , your patience is really gomg to be tested over the next fornight. Instead of stifling these feelings, air them. While it might cause some to blub like the big babies you know they are, this really 1s a good thing ... cutt1ng out the dead wood rea lly is necessary if you want to stay sane.

'rf

Cancer After the revelations that accompanied last months planetary activity you have entered a new stage in your life.

This may sound momentous but unless you build on the changes you have recently made you aren't going to go very far ... to quote a really bad Robm Williams film: "seize tile day" ... and not in a standing on your desk way either. as you'll probably fall off. Spaz.

..

Leo

You really have turned into a miserable sod over the past few months. Future events dictate that you are go1ng to have to discover the child within. lt seems to have got lost somewhere along the line (in between puberty and hairy adulthood) ... so let your hair down. lose your inhibitions and try to have some fun. You'll appreciate the advice when tl1ose around you realise that you aren 't in need of a Prozac overdose.

Student speak I don't have opinions on anything .

Sarah Hayton (SWK 1)

WEDNESDAY, N OVEMBER

Horoscopes

::;::=:=::::==~

Ql) John Lennon

Concrete

Virgo Would you like to have some sex? Yes? Well. your luck IS in because with your moon accentuating the more lusty side of the scale you are likely to be getting neck id any time soon. BU T, only if you stop being quite so choosy ... you aren't actually quite as gorgeous as you seem to think you are ... so get your head out of your arse and start looking.

Libra Anon There has to be someone to stand up to the dissenting voice of Europe, If no one is prepared to stand up to Brussels then how can we keep our own uniformity?

Rob Goodall (LAW 1)

Someone is in need of a little love and attention. Yes you!

Wh ile cert ai n aspects of yo ur life have been sorely neglected of late this is all going to change. Not in a romantic way, of course, as you aren't real ly the type.

Your friends are going to notice what's been lacking of late and rally around ... and, lo and behold, you won't feel quite so sad. Poor lamb .

Scorpio

..\. .. ...,,

You 're going to find yourself the centre of attention over .c-,111 the next week, but what you choose to do with this fame \-- ~ •' is up to you. You aren't, by nature, a shy, retiring wallflower but try not to milk it (in other words try not to be a drama queen), as there are other, more pressing, areas that will need focusing on .

Sagittarius ."'--....

With all the crap that has accompanied your journey

~ through life (well, the last two weeks at any rate) you

Y/

can look forward to a bit more direction in your life ... this may involve that elus1ve "special someone" (if such a thing exists). but only if you go out there and look.

Capricorn Being the hard-nosed type you find it quite difficult to ~ " admit you are in the wrong. ThiS is a good appraoch to take over the next two weeks. Sticking to your guns and not being afraid to tell people to f- off when they most deserve it real ly will help you decide why you are always in the right and everyone else is so damn stoopid.

Aquarius

e-!._ 1!\\

I'm assuming that if you took my advice last fortnight you aren't now a prostitute and that you now have some ~{ legally-made money. ThiS surge in the finance department will come in handy over the coming weeks, as you are goi ng to come face to face with a life chang ing experience which wil l require a bit of financia l back ing to actually wo rk.

Pisces Be prepared for an unexpected arrival this fortnight (and hopefully not in a Sonia out of East Enders way). This arrival (how delightfully vague!) summons the advent of a whole new way of thinking for you, a refreshing change considering how monotonous life has become.

r•

~~

Concrete

WEDN ESDAY, N OVEMBER

..

Graduate Courses F is for Finance it has been said that there is no such thing as a poor accountant, so if expanding your balance is a priority, financial services may be the path to your dream. A financial graduate course is an obvious choice for those of you studying economics or management, but there are also courses especially for applicants from all disciplines.

What courses are there?

For students holding relevant first degrees, good institutions to check out are the MSc in Finance at Birkbeck College, London and Nottingham University's MA in Finance and Investment. For those coming from other areas there are a few courses available to you . Two good examples are Birkbeck's Postgraduate Certificate in Finance and the University of Stirling's MSc/Diploma in Banking and Finance.

FEATURES 19

www.concrete-online.co .uk

29, 2000

Campus Comment

Access all areas?

The closure of Orwell Gate at six in the evening is yet another sign of slack security. Fiona Cameron explains why...

You could be forgiven for th inking that locking Orwell Gate (pedestrian exit by Waveney Terrace in case you were wondering) at six o'clock in the evening was a somewhat redundant gesture.

The decision appears to be another indication that the university is running short on security staff, closing off ways onto campus in an attempt to keep out the undesirables. However, is it nothing more than a token measure until something more reasonable can worked out?

For those who haven't spotted the wa rni ng on the Internet, read the front page of the paper or for the weary and forgetfu l students ambling home late after a gru-

elling day in the "library" (Hive, Bowl etc}, discovering the firmly locked gates to the outside world will come as an unwelcome shock. People who are trying to leave the university after the six o'clock curfew will find the new security measures are no help at all. In fact they could put the lazy student in a position of greater potential danger than they would have been otherwise. On encountering the closed gates a drowsy student might be more inclined to attempt to scale the fence or scour the perimeter for holes rathe r than walking the extra few hundred meters to get to the main drive. Well , those who have delusions of being in the army

that is.

The point is, having come across the locked up exit, the journey to the university approved exit could prove just as perilous as going through Orwell gate. And for any one wishing to travel (via the gate) along Bluebell Road no danger (of the sort they are attempting to deter) whatsoever will have been eliminated.

Obviously the project will discour-

age people from hanging around out side the gates, but it won't stop them coming in (nb.. there is a good break in the fence only 15 meters from the gate) , and instead of this purging the problem it is simply avoiding it; this isn't simply for the sake of the few wishing to use this gate, but more about the generally slack approach to a problem the university is very much aware of.

0

Which one should I apply for?

Birkbeck's PG Certificate in Finance is good for those needing a complete introduction to financial language and analysis. Stirling's course aims to "foster the knowledge and analytical skills required for a successful career in banking and finance and related areas." As teaching is almost entirely through lectures, students must have good self-study skills. Nottingham offers a rounded study of market types including equity, fixed interest and derivative. Students choose an area of personal interest to undertake a specialist dissertation at the end of the course.Classes for Birkbeck's MSc in Finance include students already working in the finance industry to enable close practical links with the business.

How do I get on a course?

The four courses mentioned all require degrees of 'good standing' i.e. a 2.1 or above.

Birkbeck's MSc asks for a good degree "i ~ either a directly relevant or a highly quantttative" subject. Nottingham also only accepts candidates from relevant first-degree disciplines.

How is the course assessed?

Courses of this kind are usually set on a lecture, seminar and exam basis. Stirling offers a wide range of units in the autumn and spring semesters followed by a 10,000 word dissertation in the summer on an approved courserelated topic. Students taking Birkbeck's MSc are under continuous assessment over 4 units and a substantial research project: "typical projects involve implementing a new pricing model in a challenging way or estimating economic models using financial data."

How much does it cost?

Expect to spend about £3000. Nottingham's course costs £2610 and Stirling charges £3230.

What can I do after the course?

Each course provides a working knowledge of finance that is directly transferable to future jobs. Stirling explains that it holds "links with potential employers from a variety of institutions in the UK financial sector who are often invited to give talks to the class ." it promises that "there is a good employment record among graduates, many of whom are now employed in financial institutions in the UK and abroad ."

Where can I get more information?

For individual courses you should contact the particular university you are interested in 1 Birkbeck can be reached on 0845 601 0174 or by emailing byre @bbk.ac.uk. You should contact helen.wells @nottingham.ac.uk for University of Nottingham's course or bankingfinance@stir.ac.uk for University of Stirling.

Katherine Rowbotham

•

0 0

0

•

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20 SPORT

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e en IS 11

Concrete

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER

29, 2000

11

I

111111

A discarded international from small-time Belgium almost brought the sporting world to its knees. Now a small club from a picturesque hiUtop in Italy is threatening to finish off what Jean-Marc Bosman started. Sadiq Us man investigates ... his is the end of football , as we know it, the sequel. For people in years to come to be asked the question "Where were you the day football died'' might sound drastic but they are already writi ng the obituary in Brussels.

Bosman 2 is the name people have given to this phenomenon that is threatening to shake the foundations of our beloved game. Incidentally, this has been in the pipelines for a long time, it IS just that we have been too nafve to notice.

The story started back in 1995 when a little known Belgian player took his club, Anderlecht, to court because they prevented him from moving to another club without a fee even when his contract with his current club ended.

The decision by the European Court of Justice became what was known as the 'Bosman ruling'.

This effectively banned transfer fees for out-of contract players and ended restrictions on the number of overseas players allowed in EU teams.

This shook the game worldwide and led players like Sieve McManaman unjustly earning £60,000 a

T

Leeds feel it is time to fork out £18 million on Rio Ferdinand, even though he could be worth nothing in a matter of weeks.

week at Real Madrid.

In delivering the Bosman ruling, Attorney General Lenz said that despite the reality that players are sti ll regarded as a sort of merchandise to be "bought" and "sold" that "must not blind the fact that this has no legal basis and is not compatible with the right of freedom of movement."

The warning signs had been coming for a long time but people in the game did not take any notice until the EU decided to act.

While the powerbrokers at UEFA headquarters have been busy counting the millions generated by 22 men and a ball, European government officials have been quietly gathering evidence to cut them out completely. Things were brought to a head when an unnamed Italian player moved to Perugia while under contract and the club receiving the player refusing to pay any sort of compensation.

A decision in Perugia's favour would have far reaching ramifications for sport, effectively allowing players the right to change clubs whenever they choose and rendering their contracts meaningless.

One can't see it going any other way, as anyone who has a reasonable understanding of European law would know attempting to stall the process is futile. lt is very simple really; for the Treaty of Rome stipulates that the free movement of workers guaranteeing workers the right to carry out their profession wherever they choose. So what effect does it herald for football?

You could go on making unproven assumptions on the effects it would have on sections of the game but you have to be realistic and take into consideration two things. One is the fact that so much doom and gloom was predicted when the initial Bosman ruling was made and yet the game is doing as well as ever. The other fact is that in situations like this it is easy not th1nk about these things objectively for the simple reason we love the game so much and want things to remain the way they are.

Indeed , there is so much confusion surrounding the future among clubs that they are afraid to go in the transfer market even if they have to. This obviously does not apply to Leeds as they feel it is time to fork out £18 million for Rio Ferdinand even though he could be worth nothing within a matter of weeks. There is no question smaller clubs would feel the effects of this considerably, especially if they have usually made their revenue by selling the star players brought up from their youth set up.

Jonathan Barnett, who represents Keiron Dyer and Shaka Hislop among others, shares many people 's fears when he said, "The big clubs will have a fie ld day but it could be disastrous for lower clubs." Meanwhile there is evidence that top players will never have it so good if the EU rules in favour of changing the rules. If they have freedom to leave their jobs like everyone else just by giving notice, then they and their agents stand to gain from huge annual wage rises , extorting loyalty from their clubs , and wringing out huge signing on fes from an interested rival should they decide to leave.

Clubs would find it increasingly difficult to keep players but clubs like Deportivo la Coruna are finding a way round the potential problem having just signed Mallorca striker Diego Tristan and put him on an eight year deal. There could also be a fl ipside to the rewritten laws as players could be tired on the spot for conduct deemed unprofessional , such as missing training.

Positive change is good for the game and even though we all have heard stories of players being tar from humble, everyone deserves to be treated fairly. So what are FIFA and UEFA doing about everything ? Not much in truth . Th e perennial enemies never seem to agree on anything . The

EC gave them a deadline to submit their proposals on how they intend to alter their transfer legislation.

The proposal being made by UEFA is that football should be taken as a special case and therefore be exempt from the Treaty of Rome. This

'

A decision in Perugia's favour would allow players to change clubs whenever they choose, rendering their contracts meaningless.

looks highly unlikely. If this does not work, UEFA and FIFA are asking tor law prohibiting transfer fees for players under 18. This sounds much more sensible. They go on further to suggest transfer tees to remain for players aged 18-24 years and no transfer fees for players aged above 24. These players over 24 will have to stay with the club for a minimum period of one year so Jimmy-Fioyd Hasselbaink couldn 't play for Chelsea, Juventus and Barcelona in the same season even if he wanted to . his would all be facilitated using only one transfer window during the summer. The main area of disagreement is the form of compensation that clubs would receive to replace transfer fees. The heads of world football have proposed multiplying the number of years left on the contract multiplied by the player's current salary or using players ' age and international experience.

So if Milan were to require the services of David Beckham, it would be sensible to pay him £10 million a year on a five year contract so it would cost £50 million to get him in the first year, £40 million in the second year and so on. 11 is important to mention that EU law has no effect on national labour laws and so will not affect transfers between clubs of the same nation. The feedback is pos1tive but we wait in anticipation.

The future of football will be decided six weeks from now, sp should you take in a game of football soon , commit some of what you see, hear and feel to memory. lt might just be your last chance.

T

Jean-Marc B osman (top) and Luis Figo, the worlds mos{ expensive

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SPORT

21

Get out of jail free card

Citv. now four games without a win

By MIKE MILNER

IT HAS not been a good fortnight for Norwich City and concern is rapidly growing among the City faithful.

Despite a reasonable looking league position, there are many cracks behind the fa9ade as the Canaries are on their worst run since they were relegated from the Premiership in 1994-5 with last Saturday's defeat against Wimbledon their fourth consecutive straight defeat.

City directors have publicly takeaway from the game apart given Bryan Hamilton, a vote of from continued misery.

Going to Saturday's game, confidence but many fans will point to the fact that they have City were aiming to break this not yet replaced either the barren run.

There was only one change injured Gaetano Giallanza or Tony Cottee. to the starting line-up with Lee A £1 million bid for ex- Marshal! dropping to the bench Stockport County player, lan and Fernando Derveld coming Moo re was accepted but the in, meaning that Chris Llewellyn player was not interested in partnered lwan Roberts in joining the yellows and to make attack. matters worse a bid for Marcus City had the better of the first Bent of Sheffield United was half and should have led going rejected. to half time put Mulryne missed However, rumours suggest a penalty, and lwan Roberts that Manchester City have accidently ~anded the ball into made Danny Granville available the net after his header had hit for £600,000 and his permanent signature would be welcomed.

With the continued uncertainty surrounding the future of the transfer market, City have also suffered various set backs off the field.

the post.

However, the Dons took the lead when John Hartson scored a beautiful 25-yard drive from a Gayle knockdown in the 30th minute.

City's response was immediate and Roberts climbed above John Williams to head home Adrian Forbes cross.

Damien Francis scored the winner for the Dons in the first

City going into December in a rut and their fans wondering whether it will turn out to be a season of tough relegation battles.

However Bryan Hamilton was more upbeat commenting , "We will get better and get some results."

18-year old pensioner Luton's teenage striker Tresor Kandol must do 180 hours community service after being convicted of train fare evasion - by impersonating an OAP! The Hatters' joint top-goal scorer was convicted of four offences of fare evasion on Thameslink trains between London and Luton in July.

On one occasion the 18 year old impersonated a pensioner and at other times bought tickets for only a small part of his intended journey.

Luton Town are supporting Kandol and their secretary, Cherry Newbury, attended court with him. They have said they will pay £500 of his outstanding fines, but will have nothing to do with his community service.

Foolish about fuel

Fall minute of the second half.

Derveld and Fleming got into each other's way trying to clear allowing the ball to fall to Francis who bent his shot into the bottom corner from the edge of the area.

City then proceeded to miss many opportunities, the clearest cut from Adrian Coote who blasted over from 12 yards when he should have scored.

Another defeat now leaves

A convicted shoplifter has escaped jail after apparently falsely claiming to be a professional footballer with Cambridge United.

Uchenna Nwanokwu, 19, had turned over a new leaf and had a promising career with the Second Division club, his lawyer, Peter Harris, told Horseferry Road Court in Westminster.

District Judge Mrs Eleri Rees said she had been minded to remand Nwanokwu in custody for reports.

Instead, she fined him, saying: ''The fact that you have now turned over a new leaf and have a promising career as a footballer which I wouldn 't wish to interrupt means I propose to hit you in the pocket."

Amazingly, after Nwanokwu was freed, Cambridge United's secretary, Andrew Pincher, said he had never been signed by the U's.

"That's absolute rubbish. We've never even heard of this man!" he said .

15.Crewe 16.Wolves 17.Norwlch 18.C . Pal ace 19 .Tranmere

P 20 20 19 19 20

W 6 4 5 5 5

D 3 8 5 4 4

L 11 8 9 10 11

GDPT -9 21 -3 20 -8 20 -5 19 -9 19

NCFC TOP SCORERS lwan Roberts 8 Gaet ano G1all anza 5

Italian Davide Catania was thrown out of the Network Q Rally after one stage.

But his problems would never have occured had he remembered to put petrol in his car.

He ran out of fuel and had to push his Mitsubishi to a petrol station and borrow a tenner to put some gas in.

But he failed to get to the check-in in time, and was disqualified .

"I'd forgotten where I'd parked it and in panic forgot to fill my car with petrol," he said.

Promotion Andy Marshal! is likely to leave unless City achieve promotion , Cedric Anselin is likely to leave in the near future and return to France and various other key players including Craig Flaming and Jean Yves de Blasiis have not yet signed new contracts.

Going to the Bolton game on the Wednesday, November 18, City were aiming to bounce straight back after their run of disappointing results.

In the first half, Chris Llewellyn failed to round the keeper, Scott Parker drove wide and Lee Marshal! and Adrian Forbes headed over.

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Defeat In the second half, Bolton were much the stronger side and goals from Michael Ricketts and Gudni Bergsson condemned City to defeat.

Hamilton said, "We didn 't take ou r chances and we defended badly on two occasions - that sums up our day."

The following Tuesday, an away tri p to Burnley res ulted in a similar score-line.

Andy Payton and Stave Davis got on the score sheet for the home side in a performance C1ty would probably rather forget about.

There was nothing to

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Concret e

W EDNESDAY, N OVEMBER

29. 2000

By JO CROOKSHANK

THE UEA lacrosse team had an astounding victory over Northampton University despite being three players short.

.'

Continued from back the quarter back Alex H before he managed even make the exchange from on the most exquisitely i blitz.

In the second week of competition, the extended th eir reco rd to 2-0 a 12-0 victory over the unbeaten Reading Knig hts.

Jeremy Kaleb rushed in two yards out on his only of the day and Johansen found Burchett in the endzone to send the Western Division side home with their tails between their legs despite amassing 150 rushing yards - more than the UEA total.

The run in to Christmas will be tough fo r the UEA though.

They have to visit National Champions the Hertford Hurricanes, before playing Surrey Sti ngers home and on the 3rd and 17th December.

W ith Northampton playing a fu ll team with reserves , UEA took came away with ten goals to Northampton 's five .

In the away match , goal recovered ball and taking it into scorers Julia Pearson , Suzie the UEA goal scorers' vicinity .

The shooters made Mills and Chloe Green started the game well by storming up consistently accurate passes the pitch and through around the goal area and Northampton's defence to put between them scored another UEA fou r goals in the lead in the five goals, despite being first quarter. swarmed with defenders.

Attack Debutante Archanna Ramu played a vital part in backing up In th e second quarter th e main shooters wi th quick Northampton used their awareness and recovery of the advantage to increase numbers opposition's possession , a skill in their defence and use their which Northampton needed to employ but often failed to do so. strongest players to attack.

These tactics seemed Superior effective and brought In the fo urth quarter they Northampton's score up to three began to put the pressure on goals to UEA's four.

But UEA were not deterred by again and gained strength in superior numbers as weariness their burst of strength.

In the third quarter defenders began to hit UEA. Northampton determinedly Rosanna Kwok and Tammy Matth ews guarded the goal area battled their way into their goal by picking up the strongest area with their strong shooters , players and skilfully tackling defeating the close but weary defence of UEA. potential goal scorers.

However, UEA goalkeeper Fran Green acted on the wing kept Lambert making excellent runs with the Laura

control of the game and Northampton's score at bay, saving fou r good goals and letting only two in during a sustained period of pressure.

Timed In UEA's attack, Julia managed to catch the Northampton goalkeeper off guard wi th a bri ll iantly timed and well-placed goal.

In the dying minutes the UEA defence were too strong for Northampton who ere unable to make a recovery at this stage leaving the pitch crushed by thei r defeat.

Experience and ability overcame numbers at Northampton so that the UEA lacrosse team is now defending joint first place with Warwick in the BUSA league.

And things are set to hot up this week when they travel to Warwick.

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If you are a graduate, who thinks they can make the most of these opportunities, please send your CV with a covering letter to: Miss joss Rutherford, Enterprise Rent-A-Car, HR Dept Ull , Beechwood House, Depot Road, Newmarket, Suffolk, CBB OAL. Emaii jrut.heljord@erac. com

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www .concrete-online.co.uk

v v v v

By JONATHAN SYMES

On a cold, gloomy day at Colney Lane, the UEA second team overcame the disappointment of losing their opening two BUSA fixtures, to dispose of Warwick in some style.

v v v IWtl)mtans 1 v IWtl)mtans 2v

De pile the earlier defeats, team morale seemed unscathed, as an assured second half performance easily saw off the potentially tough opponents two weeks ago.

It took an early scare to jolt the ensued, and this time they were Us into action though . Within two rewarded with a well worked try minutes of kick-off, Warwick were from Tim O' Donnell, and an awarded a pe_nalty, only for the assured conver ion and then kick to be sliced wide. penalty for srartd-in kicker Simon Five more minutes of sustained Harnmond.

Warwick pressure had UEA on the With victory all but confirmed, back foot, but a break away try UEA kept Warwick pegged back, and the win was capped by a seemed to settle them down and they never looked back. glorious try from captain Dapbe, followed by Hammond's second Dominance conversion of the game.

However, despite their obvious A late fluriy from Warwick brought them a late consolation try, dominance, victory was far from assured by the break, as UEA but it did little to dampen East finished the half still with the Anglian spirits. slender lead of 5-0.

Performed Some moves showed real class, as the majority of the ftrSt 40 "I thought we performed to the best of our ability today" enthused minutes was spent in the Warwick half of the field, but a vital cutting a delighted Daphe.

"We were stronger in the scrum edge seemed mi:ising.

Selfishnes and a lack of co- and more assured in the line-outs. operation in the fmal third of the We dominated throughout and field allowed Warwick to thwart deserved to come away with the most attacks, although it was clear spoils." that their confidence was growing.

Such a convincing victory A tern half time team talk from stands the UEA in good stead for captain Gagan Daphe seemed to do their forthcomi,ng BUSA fixture , the trick, and UEA came out for and the new sense of confidence the second period with renewed that will now spread through the vigour. team should lead to similar results More sustained pressure in the future.

UEA'S FENCING squad optimistic of qualifying the knockout stage of BUSA competition claiming their fourth victory_ Although they were ldi!;annointed to have only won last Wednesday a no-show Leicester result meant that

in a game have won. winning the foil leg tie, UEA were beaten in and were forced to the sabre leg because bungled travel arrangements.

The return leg will be fought, as it likely to determine who will top the midlands group.

The Leicester whitewash, means that out of a possible 11 bouts, UEA have won a credible 90.

Said club president Paul Southam, "The regrouping has been of great benefit to us, and should finish either first But the knockout will be a lot harder with , Cambridge and UCL all cut-above-the-rest."

THE MEN'S hockey first team faced a tough test last Wednesday when they took on Leicester University.

The match was very finely balanced throughout and Leicester could be considered somewhat fortunate to have run out winners from this BUSA tie.

Leicester began the better of rattled the home side's crossbar. the two sides, as they took the This served as a wake up call match to UEA. to UEA, and they too started to An early chance saw a put together some attacking Leicester player strike a shot that

(h) (h) (h) (a)

Derby Nottingham Northampton Leicester Nott Trent

(a) (a) (a) (a) (h)

(a) v Warwick v DMU (Lines) (h) (a)

(a) (a)

v Wolverh'ton

(a)

v Warwick

(a)

Derby

(h)

V

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An exquisite passing move from UEA generated a one-onone chance for Rupert Snelling, but his attempt was foiled by a superb stop by the Leicester 'keeper.

The follow-up, unfortunately for the home side, missed the target.

The match continued in a similar vein, with end-to-end chances, until the 1Oth minute, when Leicester opened the scoring.

A short corner was partially cleared, but the resulting shot beat UEK goalkeeper, Dan Karlsson.

Equalised UEA kept their heads up and through good defensive work and counter-attacks equalised approaching half time.

Once again the chance fell to Snelling, who this time ensured the ball hit the back of the Leicester net.

The teams went off at half time with the match even at one a piece, and with neither side particularly deserving the lead.

The second half continued in much the same way as the first, with the two teams sharing

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STROKE OF BAD LUCK Hockey_p.JJ. the RenaiW, for late SROt miss

By CHRIS WEBBER

Cambridge Nott Trent Coventry Birmingham

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Dec6

attacks and with both sides having chances. lt was once again, however,路 the Midlands side that took the lead. Inside 20 minutes of the second half they led 2-1, with a well-taken goal.

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Attacked UEA didn't let that goal get to them, however, and quickly attacked Leicester looking for the equaliser once again.

Five minutes from time it looked as though they had got their reward .

A disputed penalty was awarded to UEA and with so little time left it seemed as if it would surely nullify the match and split the points.

However, the resulting penalty stroke was brilliantly diverted by the impressive Leicester goalkeeper, and the game finished as a 2-1 Leicester victory.

UEA captain Steve Woodward felt his team warranted more from the game, "We deserved a draw. We were pipped at the post by a team who weren't as good as when we played them away, and on a better day, we could've beaten them."

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THE UEA Pirates have got off to a flying start in this season's BCAFL championship.

They won their first two games to sit joint top of the Eastern Division of the Southern Confere nce , writes A/ex Thorpe.

In their opening match of the masterfu l though , limiting the season, they leapt to a 14-0 win Falcons to only 80 yards offense over the Kent Falcons. in the whole game and getting Quarter back Nicolai their just desserts when Johansen hit lan Burchett from Williams and Jim Hardy nailed nine yards out to rack up the Kent man Finn Olav Voie in the Pirates first touch down of the endzone for a safety. year.

The fourth q uarte r petered Rookie out into noth ing but it was not all bad as there we re two moments worth waiting for.

Forcing Kent to punt, rookie Greg Welch picked off his first Kevin Blacoe nearly rumbled the pass as a Pirate and returned it return in, but it was left to 60 yards to the Falcon 30 yard Johansen to score on the sneak line, and Jeremy Baberi hitting behind Leon Williams.

Continued on page 22 The UE A defenc e were

Woman's firsts cane Keele after Staffs embarrasment

By CHRIS WEBBER Assistant Sports Editor

THERE WERE contradictory performances from the women 's hockey firsts and contradictory results this fortnight.

and followed this with two more to put the match beyond UEA's reach.

The UEA women's firs t team continued their BUSA campaign with matches against both Staffordshire and Keele University wi th each match producing a very different outcome.

UEA did well to bounce back from that defeat a week later, when Keele University were the visitors to the Sportspark.

A 5-1 defeat by Staffordshire was the product of an indifferent performance that saw UEA overwhelmed by a strong Midland's side. lt could, however, have been considerably different.

Staffordshire started strongly, immediately going on the offensive.

UEA defended well, Melita Swan with some exemplary work.

Although UEA had a few limited chances , it did, however, seem to be a case of when Staffordshire would score rather than if, and the West Midlands university duly complied after around 15 minutes of the fi rst half.

Pounced A short corner produced a very good save from the UEA 'keeper, but Staffordshire pounced on the rebound and put the ball in the net.

The lesson not learned, Staffordshire were allowed another great chance just three minutes later, and had it not been for some more excellent goalkeeping from Kate Barton, UEA would have been two down.

Just before half time, although UEA pushed more, a third fantastic save was needed to keep the deficit at one goal heading into the break.

A more attack-minded UEA came out after the break, and their fortunes looked to be changing when they grabbed an equaliser through Natalie Beal early in the half. ln fact, the home side nearly took the lead shortly afterwards, when a nice passage of play led to a UEA shot beating the opposition keeper only to be cleared off the line.

The match then once again turned on its head as Staffordshire regained control.

Another great save from Barton quelled the threat for just five minutes as Staffs took the lead from a short corner.

At 2-1 , UEA tried once again to fight back, and perhaps the turning moment of the match came when Beal, already with one goal in the game, was pu t through only to see her dragged shot go wide of the target.

Following thi s it was one-way traffic. Staffs quickly took a 3- 1 lead

Defeat

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ln a fairly evenly balanced game, UEA had the edge, running out eventual 5-3 winners.

First team captain Kale Nichols was pleased with the victory.

"We had a much more positive attitude and worked well for each other" she said.

set by Morgan

(_ __ ] r-------------------------, There's a ÂŁ10 book voucher from campus bookshop Waterst ones up for grabs for completion of the crossword, ideal for all those course book purchases. Fill in your name and a contact number ore-mail address below and put 1t with the completed grid in the competition box in the Hive by Friday, December 15.

Solution #11

Name ............................. .... ....... .

School ................. ..... ...... .. .... .. .. ........ .

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Winner: Vanessa Jones (ENV 2)