Concrete issue 137 24 04 2002

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Issue 137 路 Wednesday, April 24, 2002

WIN!

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UEA'S INDEPENDENT STUDENT NEWSPAPER

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FREE

ALL EXPENSES DATE WITH NEIGHBOURS' DAN MACPHERSON AND JONATHAN WILKES PLUS ALL EXPENSES DAY OF CELEBRITY FUN

SEE PAGE 5 OF THE EVENT TO ENTER

Student allowed to continue studies after being found guilty for indecently assaulting young boy in campus bar

REBECCA LAWRENCE Chief News Reporter

A POST-GRADUATE student has escaped jail after being found guilty of indecently assaulting a young boy .

Steven Peter Makwinja, 37, who is studying in Environmenta l Sciences admi tted t o t ouch ing a ch ild's leg while drinking in one of UEA's bars last October.

Norwich Crown Court heard how Makwinja was spotted putting his hand down the shorts of a tenyear-old boy.

But the student's defence, Guy Ayers claimed that Makwinja had in itia lly rubbed the boy because he was cold and shivery and wanted to warm hi m up.

The inci dent progressed and Makwin ja did touch the boy in wh at were described as " circ umstances of 1ndecenc y."

Judge Pau l Downes too k t he

decision not to give Makwinja a custod ial sentence- claiming th at he should continue his studies .

But he insisted that the stude nt , who is married, would face disciplinary action from UEA officials at a later date.

Makwinja was ordered to do 100 hours of community work and stay indoors at his home in Duke Street, Norwich , between the hours of ?pm and 6am every night for t wo months. He has also been placed on the sex offenders' register for five years.

The court was told that Makwinja was generally a man of good character and that the offence had marred his record .

But students who have childre n are concerned that a sex offender is studying on campus.

Worried mum Viola Magunda m, said, "The case does worry me as chi ldren really need protection from such people. As a parent , I feel th e Universi ty should have made us aware.

"The ch ildren pl ay outside a lot so you never know what may hap-

pen .

I wil l definitely keep a watchful eye over my children ."

The mother, who has three children on campus, added that the crime should not be held against the student for the rest of his life . " If he is showing remorse , he should be forgiven ."

And fathe r-of-two Mahmoud Touny al so ca lls for Makwinja to be remove d from campus . " People convicted of these cri mes shouldn 't be allowed on campus."

But a mother of a 6-year-old child defended the student being able to carry on his studies at this univers ity. " I trust th e judge's deci sion t hat t he man is safe to be in soci ety. UEA is an open cam pus and anyone can walk on in who could be a danger, so why shouldn 't thi s st udent be allowed to cont inue his st udies?"

And a spokesperson for UEA's nursery urges parents not to pan1c .

"We have a very full security system so the situation wi ll not affect us."

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www.co ncrete-on Ii ne.co. uk

Concrete W EDNESDAY,

A PRIL

2 4 , 20 0 2

NEWS

Hundreds will not go to the ball

1

Stud ent found guilty of indecent assault on young boy at UEA.

And Union refuse to give refunds for tickets

2

• Summer Ball fal l-out.

• New bar sti 11 not started.

CONCRETE CONTENTS

KATIE HIND Deputy Edi tor

3

• LGB stage same-sex wedd ing.

• Kidnapper hired as priest.

5

• Man charged over death in LCR .

• Riot outside Union House following club night.

6

• Students ral ly in London against debt.

New ac commodation for campus .

7

• Former Sabb blasts Union management.

Liquid boss attacked .

8

• Golden Triangle crime on the rise.

• RSPCA shut down local pub fish contest.

HUNDR EDS of students face losing the money t hey paid out fo r th is yea r's sum mer ball t ickets as the y have exams t he following morni ng.

Al l th ird yea r management stud en t s and the majority of Law finalists have exam s on Mond ay May 20 - the day after t he ba ll, which will be held at Potters resort in Hemsby.

Third ) ~a r ' tude nt Andrew Tu rn er is angry at the Union ·s dec ision not to re fund ti ckets. ;,nmc or whi ch cost

ED

FEATURES

.

10

MEDIA PROFILE: Heat editor Mark Frith talks to Concrete about how his magazine became the celebrity bib le.

12

LIFESTYLE: • How smoking makes you impotent, gay weddings plus My First Time.

14

TRAVEL: • Hawaii explored : psyc hopaths, archai c drinking laws and sme lly homeless people .

15

INSIGHT: • Excl usive interview with Mandy Telford , newly-elected president of the National Union of Students.

16

LOOK: • How to sort out your student diet.

• The Bare Essentials, giving you some idea about what's hot at the moment.

• Men 's pants come under t he microscope in Faux-Pas .

18

COFFEE BREAK: Your fortnight 's horoscopes revealed.

19

LETIERS: • Letters to th e editor plus mouthpiece .

TION CLOS

SPORT

Above: Andrew Turner

• More UEA fa ilure from t he penalty spot.

• UEA Basketba ll given a workou t • Full BUSA scorecard

22

• Studs Up: Is Phil Thompson Dietmar Hama nn 's dad? Plus t he usual footy news Norwich City cli nch a playoff pl ace in a nail biting final day in Div ison One.

23 24

• UEA Pirates finish with a victory • Footba llers fail to f lou rish this season Ten-pin bowlers rack up more awards • UEA smash Essex in latest Derby day • Your quick prize crossword.

a r~ not goi ng tn gt:t a Ui nncr tic ket.

·· 1y friend s and I boug ht them as we were un der the impress ion that we wou ld he rc imhurs~cl should we lw,·e an exa m the nex t cl ay and we ha,e:· sai d the ma n age m ~ nl student.

And re'' · And he is disgu sted at the Union ·s deci sion to not rdund studen ts.

"The bm oflice said the re is nothing the) can do but o lk n:d to take o ur tickets from w, and ru t our names on the m and in case someone happen '> In come to the box oflicc and wa nt one ...

And rew. who is on the co mmittee of the football support ers soci ety cl aim s that they have had over fift y reques ts to he lp p~o pl e se ll th eir tickets. ·· we arc ju;,t trying In ra ise awa reness beca use the re arc so many studenb in th i; sit uation. All third year Management ;,tudc nts will have an exam the next da) sn they wi ll not he ab le to go ."

But Uni o n Co mmun ica tio n;, Ofllcer Emma Reyno ld> doe;, nol

thin~

the situati o n \\ ill he repeated .

"Next year if we get a date the chanc~ ~ o f it being in exam time arc \Cl') slim. It hasn' t been in exam time for two year\. we were unfortu nat e thi s ) car as it wa' the on! ) date oiTcrcd .

But ;,he delC nds the Union"; deci :-, in n no t tn gi\'1.:' rc funJ :-. - cla i mi ng that th e mo ne) ha;, b~c n spent. " We' re ;, ympa lh etic to p.:op lc '' hu ha,·c hough! tickets and now don't fee l the) can go . Hm \ ever with the hall s we ' rend what we get. therefore the ticket money gathe red has al ready all been spent on getting lhc be'>t r os;,ihlc atlraction s. Bd iC\e it or not. the Uni on is c urre nt I) running at a dellci t sn "here would the money come from ?·· said Emma.

And >he is hnpd'u l that the stu de nts aiT.:ctcd wi ll he able to ge t their money bac k - <!\'en without the Uni l)ll ge tting in,olvcJ. "We hope th at peopl e will be abl e to sel l thei r tic ket; to fri e nd; who have fo und they ha\cn· l got an exam the next day and may now be thin kin g about going.

If you wa nt to pu rcha se a summer ha ll mea l ticket con tact And rew on 07786 015313 .

See Co mment on page 9

Work on old restaurant yet to begin - despite Union promises Br~ ak c r'

LIZ HUTCHINSON Assistant News Ed itor

OUR exclusive pict ures reveal that the chances of the new bar extension being completed by the st art of next academic year are rem ote, as it seems building work on the old Breakers site has not yet begun .

Un io n o ffi c er -, rro mi -,e d -, tudc nt s la st No \'c mbc r that work wo uld begin by Fe bruary. Thcy then said it wo uld \tart durin g the Easte r ho lid ays.

But '' hen Co11 crt:lt) gai ne J

21

LW de;, pit e the m h<lo king th ~ e'~nt during the exam period . ·· tr you want to go to the summer hall you haw to bu y your tidch early. before C\eryone e lse or you

ac~c":-,

In the u ld res taura nt. we J i, cm·crcd the buildin g I<> be in the 'a me sorry state " ' 1t '"" b ac ~ in Jun e 2000. '' hen i h door" ''ere cl o...,c d I'll!' 1he last tllllL' In s~ptcmbcr ol that )Car. then l ni•>n C<Hll llllllllC'llinn' Otficn \\ a\ n~ K.lrnc;, \ OICCd h" di,gusl LlhtH it the !,1..,1

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2 the thumbs down .

Plan' fnr the ne" bar arc c,\ tcn; i\ e and look set lo create a vcnu.: to ri " ll other uni\~rs itic s. includ ing a c irc ular bar and an area for use by clubs allll soc ietic , .

T he de' clor mcn l ' hould he completed by Scpt.:m ber but as the site re ma in> ind ifferent and cnn>iucri ng th e amount of work needed to transform the ' e llllC fro m drab to fab . the pro, pccts fur co mr lction remain bl eak .

But L' nin n Co mmuni cati o n' Ofll cer. Emm a Rc; nolds in sists that work \\•ill begin shonl 0.

"The on-s ite ' tart date i:o. no'' Arril 2':1 although ob vi o u ; l ~ it i; up to the co ntrac h>r "hether or not they ac lu all ) arc on-, ite that r articul ar da 0. Acl i' 11) '' ill b~ seen aft er the n an ) wa) and th e' co nt rac t is due to llni , h on the 23rd August ... ·\nd d e,p i t~ lh ~ lad or \\ <' r~ ;llr~ad) carried nut. she cla im '> that th~ \enue \\111 h~ r~Jd) lnr then~\\ tnta~e nL'\I \C dl". ·· tt '' tll all b.: done aml du,ted and

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Above · lnstde the Breakers building

www.concrete-online.co.uk

Concrete WEDNESDAY, APim•24 1 2002 •

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a1nc

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1res

EA employ chaplain convicted for abducting young boys LIZ HUTCH INSON Assistant News Editor

CATHOLIC priest convicted attempting to abduct two boys has been UEA mployed by the haplaincy to provide pastoral to students.

Cambridge Crown Court eard how Reverend Laurie eke, 48, posed as an erican tourist to lure the two , then aged 14 and 15, his car after offering them

money to show him directions.

The Priest t hen drove the boys around the streets of Cambridge but made no attempt to molest them.

He was convicted in 1998 and given a three-year probation order, which he has now served.

Locke was employed as acting chaplain by the University in October, following the death of former chaplain, Rev. Trevor Richardson . .

But colleagues of Fr Locke have insisted he does not pose any risk to students and is a respected member of the reli-

gious community.

Marion Houssart, Catholic Lay Priest at the UEA chaplaincy urges anyone with any questions to visit her. "lt is all in the past and if they have any questions they should come and see me," she said.

Diocese official, the Rev. John Farrington also stresses that Father Locke was only employed at UEA after he had completed his probation period.

"He completed his probation last August and he wasn't appointed to UEA until October.

Basically, there is no problem from our point of view for him

working at the University as a priest. In terms of the diocese he is in good standing and poses no risk in exercising his ministry there," he said.

University Spokeswoman Fiona Grant issued a statement about the matter and claims that the Reverend is not a danger to student safety.

"The University has a full-time Catholic lay chaplain who contributes the pastoral care of our students. In addition, the Church selects and allocates to UEA a local priest to celebrate mass and perform similar duties. Fr Locke

is one of a number of priests who have been undertaking these duties since the illness of UEA's long-term priest chaplain, Fr Richardson, who died last month.

"We have been assured that Fr Locke does not pose a threat to the well-being of UEA students."

Union Welfare Officer, Polly Evans agrees - claiming that he would not be a member of staff if he was dangerous.

"I am confident that this man would have not been employed had he posed any risk to student welfare."

See comment on Page 9

NEWS

Library luck A UEA student was named the half-millionth visitor to the new Millennium library in Norwich.

Amy Robinson, who studies History of Art. was on her way to borrow a book when she was stopped and told of the news, writes Pally Barker.

Bosses at the city-centre based Forum presented her with a goodie bag containing free video rental for one year. free admission to Norfolk Experience exhibition and a meal for two at Pizza Express.

"It made my day but when they stopped me. the first thing I thought was what have I done wrong?" said Amy. '"I use the library quite a lot because I live in town. It's convenient and an extra help on top of the UEA library," added Amy. Heather Bolt. Norfolk County Council's Cabinet Member with responsibilities for libraries is delighted that the Forum has been so popular with Norwich residents. '"I'm gratified by the enthusiasm and affection which our users have shown for the new library," she said.

GB host stunt campus wedding · CAROLYN SAINSBURY

LGB soc iety fought out equal partnership rights gay and lesbian couples by a same sex wedding the Square.

LGB

President Had leigh 'married' Union Finance Jon Cox while second WAM student Sarah ompson and Jo Roberts, S 2) said "I do" too. ceremony in the square while two couples were declared rried by pretend vicar, Stuart (EDU1).

Union's liberations week. The LGB society was calling out for gay and lesbian partners to have the same rights. Currently, out of 190 countries, only 20 offer legal rights to homosexual couples.

In some countries it is not legal for couples of the same sex to be married. In England, only London and Liverpool offer homosexual partners to have a legally binding marriage, but they are still not entitled to the same legal rights as married heterosexua Is. LGB President, Hadleigh Bayley, wanted to campaign for everyone to be treated the same.

"We wanted to make people aware of equal partnership rights ..

People who have been together for years don't have the same

rights as heterosexual couples."

And he was delighted with the reaction that the event received. "lt was a fantastic response, it was visually spectacular so it kept people's attention. Even people who made the occasional comment even clapped. it's about bringing it to everyone," said Hadleigh.

LGB member, Sarah Thompson, agrees - but claims that the protest was not only about marriage, but other issues which affect gay couples' everyday rights.

"Love makes a family, so it was also about adoption rights, immigration, fighting for rights, taxes and ·next of kin rights," said Sarah.

3

Abore: Hadleigh Bayley, Jon Cox, Sarah Thompson and Jo Roberts are married by pretend ricar Stuart Garner.

Below left: the couples' ceremony. Below right: Hadleigh Bayley (left) and Jon Cox prepare to kiss

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NEWS

Concrete WEDNESDAY, APRIL 24, 2002

5

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n1 ts en • • • • 1n v1o ence, I 1n LCR Garage Nation riot precedes death on the dancefloor

LIZ HUTCH INSON Assistant News Editor

NORWICH man has been harged with murder after a lubber died from seri ous njuries during a Pam 's House lub night in the LCR. Richard Wal ls, 29, of Catton all Flats, St Faiths Road, orwich, was involved in a ight wit h another ma n on the ance floor during the hard ouse event. He died later at he Norfolk and Norwich niversit y Hospital.

Andrew McPhee, 20, of orthfields, appeared before orwich Magistrates last month here his lawyer, Chris Brown, tated his client would be pleadng not guilty.

He is currently awaiting trial at orwich Crown Court.

The death occurred in the LCR etween the dancefloor and the ar soon after midnight. An mbulance was called following eports that one of the crowd had uttered serious head injuries .

University security officers ormed a ring around the area of he attack while the dance event ontinued, and many revellers ere unaware of any incident takng place .

Walls was then given first aid t the scene until paramedics rrived, before police detained lubbers at the end of the night o take contact details and stateents.

The incident has sparked fears mong students that the LCR hould become student-only. But am 's House organiser Danny anthorpe disagrees .

"I know it h·as happened on the

REBECCA LAWRENCE Chief News Reporter

A VIOLENT riot broke out between two rival gangs after a popular club night - injuring UEA security staff.

Several fights broke out at 2am on Friday March I outside the LCR, following the Garage Nation event.

Above: Richard Walls, 29 , died on the LCR dancefloor

garage based events because they tend to attract that type of crowd but speaking of our events that was the first problem we have had in years. We have been doing it for six years and our whole ethic is to have fun and generate a good atmosphere. For someth ing like that to happen is shocking, " said Mr Banthorpe.

And despite the incident, the club nights are set to continue. A tribute night was held on Saturday.

"Everyone is fully supportive of us continuing, including the peopie at the UEA . It is an isolated

The ituation escalated when an enraged club-goer drove a car down from the old sport centre, over a concrete area, and towards the LCR to help their friends in the fracas .

It is thought that the fight was started between visitors from the London area and local orwich residents.

Union Security Guard, Stephen Ball. was one of the first to arrive on the scene. He was amazed by the

violent scene.

"Three of the lads had already lost teeth when I got there. We've never had fights like this before. We were called out at two in the morning and the riot did not cease until about an hour later."

Another security guard. Patrick Nappin, who has worked for the Union for 24 years, broke his wri st during the incident. " I could hear the car revving and it was heading for the crowd. The police were already on the premises due to the fighting and as the rioter drove their car down the hill they drove up hill in an attempt to stop the car," said the 47-year-old. ''The car then reversed and we saw a young girl behind it so we ran to rescue her. l pulled open the door. and attempted to grab the man inside, but he continued to reverse, and pulled me back with him. I've never ever broken a bone before

this ."'

Another doorman, Craig Bell. was also hurt during the fights, bruising his ribs.

Despite the injuries, Mr Bell claimed that he felt there were enough securi ty guards to handle the situation.

"On that night we had 15 security guards. and I think there were two men from Garage Nation as well.

On average we have 11 to 15 guards at events like thi s. lt depends on the number of people who have bought tickets. There is one securi ty guard for every I 00 people," he added.

And Union Welfare Officer, Polly Evans, insists the University is a safe place.

"Although the incident was caused by non-students, there is no evidence that non-students are the source of any greater number ·o f violent incidents than students," said Polly.

incident that could have happened anywhere so we can't blame ourselves for that at all," he added.

And Union Welfare Off ice r, Polly Evans , insists that the dance events, which do attract more revellers from the city cen tre than UEA, will continue.

"Following the incident, consideration was· given to whether it was appropriate to host more.

However, Pam 's House is invariably an extremely peaceful event.

In fact the night in question passed off entirely without any other incidents," said Polly.

TRUST A LSTA TAXIS Dealer Jailed LUXURY 6 SEATERS

KATIE HIND Deputy Editor

N UNEMPLOYED club-goer as been sent to prison for ight months after being aught with more than £1000 orth of Ecstasy tablets.

Norwich Crown Court heard ow Leigh Mahon of Dereham as found in a toi let cubicle in the ive in Union House wilh 106 ablets of the class A drug before hristmas.

More than 90 of them were found nside the ex-soldier during a medcal examination. He also has several past convictions for dishonesty.

Mahon pleaded guilty to possession with intent to supply but he claimed that the money had been

pooled by fellow drug-takers. He insisted that he was buying them for them to pay for his own habit.

And his defence, John Morgans, denied that Mahon was a dealer or involved in pushing drugs.

"He made no profit apart from funding his own habit," said Mr M organs.

Judge Daniel Worsley was unimpressed though - stating that his actions cou ld have led to death.

"Ecstasy tablets are really dangerous. They cause death on occasions and really serious injuries."

And he also insisted that he could h·ave punished Mahon with a heavier sentence than he did but he took into account that Mahon was not intending to make a profi t. If that had been the case, his sentence would have been years. " It was a large number of tablets and they were expertly concealed.

You knew the risk and took it."

And despite a strong argument for mitigation, Mahon was given a custodial sentence. Judge Worsley claimed that it was the only suitable punishment for such a "serious offence" and the •·seriously dangerous nature of this drug".

Mahon will face the court again on May 17 under the Drug Trafficking Act when judges will decide if he did benefit financially from his dealings.

Union Welfare Officer, Polly Evans, warns students to come forward if they witness anyone using or dealing drugs. ''The Union of UEA Student does not tolerate drug using in anyway on it premises. Anyone who is offered drugs or observes people taking drugs at Union events should contact security staff immediately," said Polly.

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Local Friendly Service

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NEWS

www.concrete-on Ii ne.co. uk

Concrete WE DNCSDAY,

Campus set for new accommodation Plans for Nelson Court-style residences submitted to Council POLLY BARKER

ACCOMODATION shortage s are set to be a thing of the past after it was revealed there w i ll be as many as

1200

new bedrooms on campus .

Applications have been submitted to c ity planners for the first phase of the mass ive p roject which cou ld mean the modern rooms would be open

by September 2003.

The f irst phase of the new re sidences, which will be situated between Nelson Court and Waveney Terrace, wil l see 386 bedrooms built in two curving three and four storey buildings.

When the first phase is complete, builders will add a further three blocks, joining up with the other new buildings and wrapping around the existing Waveney Terrace site to add another 508 rooms.

The plans could also see the end of the 700-room building, Waveney Terrace. The prison-like residence is likely to be deemed too expensive to refurbish, so will be replaced by more modern accommodation.

The flats will be divided in to groups of eight or 12 twelve students. They will share kitchen and dining facilities but with their own ensuite bathrooms.

Disabled students wi 11 also be well catered fo r with a number of specially adapted rooms, and there will be lift access to all rooms.

The news comes at a ti me when UEA is more popular than

MOSS BROS HIRE

University of East Anglia • Summer Ball • Graduation Ball

• Chaplaincy Ball

Second year Jenny set for model fame HELEN SHARPE

Dinner suit two piece ONLY normally £33.00 £22.95 Dinner suit shirt & bow ONLY normally £48.00

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ever.

This academic year had the second biggest rise in applications for degrees in the country.

And the opening of the new medical school could also lead to a shortage of accommodation.

Universi ty Spokeswoman Annie Ogden believes that there is a great need for the extra residences.

"The extra accommodation is needed for the growi ng student population, with an additional 120 extra students expected in the Medical School alone this September," she said .

"We will continue to review the li ke ly housing needs of our students and consider all our options for meeting t hese needs," she added.

Accommodation shortages are a problem at UEA. In September, Concrete to Id of how freshers were forced into temporary accommodation in the Ne lson Court guest suite until permanent rooms were found for them .

And before East er, University officials revealed that in future there will be no rooms available for th ird years.

They announced that priority will be given to first years and all fore ign students, despite them allocating room s for finalists in the past.

They blamed rising applications and the opening of the presitgious new medical school.

Also con t ained in the applica tion given to city planners were plans for a new medical centre with a pharmacy and a range of shops on th e University Drive near to Bluebell Road.

A STUNNING UEA student could be the face of a new

friend to ld me she'd seen my picture on a leanct.'' she said. " [ didn't expect it but it's obvious ly very exciting to be chosen:· Jenny added.

cosm etic product.

Jenny Coleman was spotted by a model scout while shopping in Norwich - and she h?JS won £200 and been selected to promote Dove's Cleansing Cloth.

Now the second year SOC student will be one of forty girls to take part in a tinal >election process in London when she wil l tind out if they have won the competition. which includes a £.'i000 cash prize.

Jenny is >urprised but delighted with her succcs> "Me and a friend were shopping in Norwich in 1-'ebruary when a Dm c repre,entative asked 10 take our photo. In April they chose 40 linalists from about 25 girl s from each region in the country. 1 didn't even know I'd been chosen until a

Above: Jenny Coleman

The winner will be announced on June 6 and will be decided partly on the public voting.

To vote for Jenny visit www.facein-the-crowd.co.uk.

APRIL

24, 20C

Literary

celebration~ U EA' S

literary

world

celebrating after two popul; figures won coveted awar in the same week .

Former Creative Writit student !an McEwan has won tl WHSm ith Literary Prize. whi i ncluded a £5000 award for I best se lling nove l ATonemenT. And the late Professor M Sebald. who died in a fatal ca r era in December of last year was giv [I 0.000 for winning I 1ndependcnt foreign Fiction pri7 Mr McEwan was pleased wi th accolade for the nove l which loo back to 1930's England and t years of war.

He was awarded the prit.e. whi is the ti rst for the book by beati off competition from PO Jam DeaTh in Holv Orders. Fran Collam's The FirefighTer and N Griffi th 's Slwep Slwgger.

And he is delighted with t award.

"It is a marvellou s public aftim l ion of what a writer does:· he sai Professor Scbald's novel loo back at the Holocaust on an ag CLech-Jewish refugee who loo back at his tragic chi ldhood.

But due to the former lecture sad death. hi s prize money will go his family and the novel's translat A nthea Bell.

The Barvarian -bo rn profes will continue to be present on t literary scene with the publicati of hi s Air War and LiTeraTure la thi s year.

UEA get cash boos from MPs U EA

has

receive d

increase in research

a

hu

its funding f from t

Government.

The Un iversity is now one the top 10 institutions f teac hing and research fundi - after receiving a . 9.6 change in total resou rce.

The raise comes after a decisi by the Higher Education Fundi Council for England (HEFCE) move towards a more markct-driv system of payin g for teachin g.

Institutions. such as UEA. t can allract more student s can n expand further.

John Brind. director of resear and business services is delighted "UEA's research is reall y on roll. The recently announced I increase in our HEFCE grant f research comes on the back of o success in the Research Asse,sm Exercise 200 1."

Over half of sc hool unit s went in the rati ngs and a third increa> by two grades. Hi story and Fil studie' increa sed to 5 plus a1 many department s went up to 5.

In parallel with the increase quality ratings. research grant a1 contract income has soared fro ju st £ 15 million two years ago over D6 million last year.

And Mr Brind is happy wi UEA's staff too.

"UEA has parti cularly done wo because 90'7< of academic staff a research active. Only eight unive sitics have higher proportions ...

"With the ex tra money we willl able to bring in talented new stall add to existing strengt hs." he addc

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Concrete WEDNESDAY,

APRIL

----

-~--------------

NEWS

24, 2002

Old Sabb attacks state of the Union "Fallacious" finance officer banned from premises ADAM CHAPMAN Editor

A FORMER sabbatical officer has launched a bli stering attack on the Union management team.

'Ginge' Kaye, Union Finance Officer in 1997, has hit out at the Union's decision to ban him from all their premises in an open letter.

Kaye does not see any reason for the action.

"This is not for any alleged violence or illegal activity but because I ruffled a few feathers as a sabbatical officer and later stood up for former Union employee in a tribunal against his unfair dismissal", he said. T The member of staff went on to win his case, costing the Union over £16,000 .

Kaye, who outraged police and executive members by supporting the use of cannabis during his time in office, went on to warn this year's Sabbs about the dangers of management interference.

"Can you do your job as a Sabb when members of staff can take this sort of retribution up to four years later?" he said.

"Should members of staff have this power without consulting their employers the students?

Union staff still have t he power to make decisions behind your back and actually have far too much freedom and control," added Mr

Kaye.

"They continue to build themselves empires over which you and the student body have no control."

But the Union defend their decision.

Union Ents Manager, Nick Rayns, who came under personal attack in the letter said that the decision was unanimous.

"He actively promoted the use of drugs while he was here in office. He repeatedly exposed his genitals within the licensed area, presumably to show off his piercings but, most importantly, he actively campaigned to try to get many Union staff disciplined or dismissed," he said.

Kaye, who now runs a piercing salon in Norwich , is also accused of deliberately antagonising staff when at Union venues.

"I suspect he is deliberately trying to provoke a reaction. lt is primarily this provocation which leads me to think the best policy is to exclude him from the licenced premises," said Rayns.

In a stateme~t issued to Concrete, Kaye described the Union's response as "bitter" .

"Wasn't it my job to see staff disciplined? The finance officer at that time had the responsibi lity for staff issues which include discipline," he said.

Talking about his nudity in the Union Bar he said, "I would hardly even compare it to t he antics of your average rugby club Saturday things afternoon or have changed?"

Above: Former Union Finance Officer, Ginge Kaye

Liquid manager assaulted during drinks row A NOTORIOUS city club boss claimed that a bouncer assaulted him during a row over free drinks.

Karl Unswonh, who was employed as deputy head doorman

by Time nightclub at the time of the scuffle was convicted of assaulting Liquid Manager Pablo Dimolglou

by Norwich Magistrates.

The court heard how a brawl broke out when Mr Dimoglou refused to give Unswonh free drinks.

Mr Dimoglou revealed told the hearing that stocky Unsworth grabbed him by the shirt, scratching him, and punched him several times, once in the face.

Unsworth admitted pushing Mr Dimoglou after being asked to the popular student club, which is based on the Prince of Wales Road but he claims that he was being "goaded and ridiculed" by Mr Dimoglou.

The 31-year-old wa found guilty of assaulting Mr Dimoglou, but only by grabbing him from behind by the shirt collar inside the nightclub.

Unsworth. who now works as a tee] erector and security organiser, was fined £I 00 and ordered to pay £250 costs and £75 compensation to Mr Dimoglou.

But Chairwoman Ann Duarte refused to believe that Mr Dimoglou had been directly struck by the bouncer. She stated that Unsworth

The survey, conducted by hotrecruit.com, revealed that 26% of students would be

Tim Bamber (EAS PG 1) No, because 15 times a week sounds too much like hard worland I'm too lazy.

"I'd want to keep both of my kidneys though so that I can drink more alcohol."

willi ng t o part w it h a kid ney, if they were given £13,000 pounds for it, writes Liz

Hutchinson.

21% of students would be wi lling to have one of their toes cut off and sewn back on for a paltry £2,000.

31% of female students would

leighton Hill (SOC 2) "I wouldn't sell a kidney because it is more precious, just in case the other one messes up. I'd probably donate sperm and I wouldn't charge a lot. Is it dangerous?"

sell some ovarian eggs for a figure in the region of £5,000.

And 30% of male students would be willing to donate sperm over 15 times a week if they were paid £18 each time.

Hotrecruit spokesperson Harvey Sinclar is concerned over the results, despite the light-hearted nature of

Stuart Barnaby Jenkinson (MTH PG 1) "Yes, I think I would donate sperm "I'm not really that skint but I might as well put it all to good use, I suppose."

the survey. He believes the findings are a direct result of student funding policies that the government introduced.

"These survey results are extremely worryi ng," said Mr Sinclair ''The fact that students are even considering such extreme measures

had been "subjected to a degree of provocation" and pushed the manager in self-defense.

Mr Dimoglou, who has managed the club for four years, said he did not recognise Unsworth when he asked for some free drinks on the night of November 20 last year.

When he refused, Un worth swore at him. becoming intimidating and aggressive, he said. After he asked his doormen to escort U nsworth out of the club, he was pulled backwards by his shirt.

He was spun round, and Unsworth punched him a couple of times in the side, he claimed. At the door of the club Unsworth punched him "really hard in the face". he alleged.

Unsworth said he was surprised when Mr Dimoglou, who knew who he was. refused to buy some drinks.

He denied being aggressive or feeling he had "lost face" in front of colleagues. Mr Dimoglou was smirking, laughing at him and goading him.

The Liquid manager was at the centre of controversy in September.

He wa ordered to leave Union House by Union officials after handing out leaflets promoting his nightclub while in the building.

Above: Liquid nightclub

Student body in giving mood?

Debt-ridden students are so strapped for cash that they would be willing to sell a range of their body parts for cash.

1

in order to pay for education is an appalling reflection on the state of student funding in the UK," he added.

Concrete went out to find out if the cash-strapped students of UEA would go to such lengths to fund their degrees.

Cindy Hort (EAS 2)

Krista linnell (HIS 3)

"If it leaves you infertile then wouldn't donate eggs.

"I wouldn't sell one of my kidneys in case there was ever anything wrong with the other one."

"I definitely wouldn't, it is so personal. I'd rather work off my debt even if it takes longer. I want to keep a bit of self worth, that's the whole point of doing a degree isn't it."

Band News THE UNION has failed to entice chart-toppers Mist-eeq to this year's Graduation Ball.

The threesome, who shot to fame last year with their hits Why. All I Want and One Night Stand were reported to be performing at the event - but they are rumoured to be replaced by girl band Sugababes.

But Union Communications Officer, Emma Reynolds promises that this year's ball will be better.

"It will be an improvement. We have looked at all the things we could change and worked hard to improve those we can. I just wish you would all believe us.

"Mis-teeq were never confirmed for the grad ball anyway. Offers come in from agents and then other more lucrative things come in for them and they ditch things like student balls from their plans in favour of independent tours or television appearances," said Emma. ''There are a number of offers on the table at the moment and the entertainments team are looking into to get a good that will be liked by the majority of students. Doing all of this is not an easy task but they are working on it,'' added Emma.

a

NEWS

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Concrete

W EDNESDAY,

APRIL 24, 2002

Thief takes cash from loca I shops Man snatches money from student area stores KATIE HIND Deputy Editor GOLDEN Triangle shops have been the target of an armed robber.

On Monday night a man armed with a knife target ed th ree city shops in 40 minutes.

He ente red the stores and demanded that they hand over cash.

Last Monday (April 15) at around 8.45pm , the thug entered Budgens convenience store on the corner of Onley Street, Untha nk Road. He is believed to have been given money after threatening staff.

Later that evening he struck agai n at Victoria Wine shop on Hall Street , where he threatened sta ff - before movi ng onto Nelson Street where he held staff in Melba's Market at knife-point unti l they gave him cas h.

And th e robber stru ck t hree days later - t his time during the day. He burst into t he new Dragon fl y clothes shop on Unthan k Road at 2.50pm brandishing a knife.

He escaped with money from t he t ill.

Detectives believe these robberies are Iinked with other knifepoint hold-ups in the city last week . Kettle of Fish in St Benedict's and Lloyd's pharma cy in West End Street were also held up .

Norwich Poli ce Press Officer, Nina Terry claims that alii th ree Golden Triangle robberies are linked, and she assures everyone in the area that there wi 11 be no more incidents of this kind.

"We have got someone in custody in connection with these offences," said Ms Terry.

Norwich police are also appea ling for information about an

unre lated knifepoint robbery in the launderette on the corner of Unthank Road and Gloucste r Street.

The 30-year-old victim was in the building at around 7.30pm last Sunday (April 14) when he was approached by a man.

He was forced to go to the HSBC cashpoint in Dereham Road and withdraw cash.

The offender was white, in his 20s, 5ft Sin and of medium build.

Anyone with information can contact Bethel Street CID via (01953) 4 242 4 2 or Cri mestoppers on 0800 555111 .

Above: Unthank Road in the Golden Triangle

Pub banned from playing fishy games HELEN SHARPE

A CITY pub has come under fire from the RSPCA for holding a charity fish eating competition.

The Prince of Wa les pub have been banned from hold ing t heir weekly fish lottery called Oscar's Snooker, in whic h th e pub took bets on whic h guppy their eight-inch f ish cal led Prince wou ld eat first.

But the animal-caring society objected to the competition and banned the events after complaining that it was the feeding of one live animal to another. They compared it to feeding live rode nts to snakes, wh ich is illegal.

The controversial contest had already raised over ÂŁ5000 to fund a ho li day for a seven-year-old girl with an inoperable brain tumour.

She has only six months to live.

But Jason Bertie, Manager o f the pub, which is based on the city's busy Pri nce of Wales Road defended the contest and claim that he was

Find out more now by calling 0845 600 1234 Email: education@select.co.uk

s616et' Education www.selecteducation.com

Above: Prince, the Fish in the Prince of Wales pub

not breaking the law.

"We weren ' t breaking the law or any thing but we stopped the event not because of the RSPCA's comments, it is simply that we don ' t want to upset anyone."

But Mr Bertie insists that he is not angry over having to scrap the event and promises to carry on wi th the chari ty work. " We ' ll rai se more money for chari ty with a new event, I'm not sure what yet but we'll think of something, maybe mice racing," he added .

The RSPCA refused to comment.

COMMENT

www.concrete-online.co.uk

Concrete WEDNESDAY, APRIL 24, 2002

9

Opinion

A Iittle respect please ...

Overcrowded and underfunded. despite the pretty views of Norfolk Terrace, there simply isn 't enough campus accommodation

• The recent NUS conference in Blackpool saw battles over student funding.

But as Gordon Brown's budget ignores higher education once again, perhaps it's time to start calling on our alumni to help. By Will Halsey. magine if, tucked behind the lake and the Sainsbury Centre, a shining 60,000-seat stadium stood in place of the gaggle of football, rugby and American football pitches. Just think if such a modern, gleaming, £25m temple of sport existed, where students and locals alike could turn out to cheer on the UEA sports teams in their university matches.

Pretty hard to picture, isn't it?

And, as university funding slipped through Gordon Brown 's budget without a mention yet again, it looks unlikely that that is about to change. But in America, such facilities are commonplace- every campus has a football stadium, as well as accommodation for every student. And this is another issue pertinent at UEA- students who have studied abroad are being turned away for campus accommodation next year. Indeed, just housing the new first years is going to be touch and go. And despite the university management announcing the building of new halls of residence, these will not be ready until September 2003. With the new medical school opening, and even with the majority of second and third years living off campus, there still won't be enough room.

Cross the Atlantic and you will find a different picture. In the vast majority of un iversities, there is room for everyone, while sports facilities are often outstanding (imagine the Sportspark exclusively for students). Why is

this?

Not surprisingly, it all comes down to money.

An American university education is expensive . Harvard (admittedly the 'Oxbridge' of US unis) estimates that the total cost for this year for its full fee-paying students will be $35,400 excluding travel to the university (though it does include room, board , fees and books).

Over a four-year degree, this means the average cost of a Harvard degree for those paying full whack would be close to $150,000. Even an instit-ution more on UEA's level, such as the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill, sees out-of-state students forking out over $20,000 per year. And shockingly, even a state-funded institution such as the State University College in Brockport, New York, would set you back twice the £1,075 currently charged to British students.

But while such fees mean American universities have more money to play with from the start, there is also another, hugely significant, form of income. Alumn i. merican students are, in general , immensely proud of their un iversity.

They are more than happy to display their allegiance to their particular college, be it through car stickers or sweatshirts, coffee mugs or T-shirts. American universities have official mercha ndise stores that are closer in size to a Manchester Utd

A

Over a four-year degree, the average cost of a Harvard degree for those paying full whack would be close to $150,000

megastore than UEA's miniature post office.

More importantly, though, US students go on being proud of their education for years to come after graduating.

The statistics speak for themselves.

Princeton University in New Jersey netted $70m last year from alumni, which totalled 11% of their budget. Such giving is encouraged by the US tax system, and indeed for Princeton's 250th anniversary appeal it has so far raised over $1b from its alumni . Bearing in mind that Cambridge 's entire endowment fund, built up since medieval times, totals £661m, this emphasises the vast differences between the two countries.

Bruce Leslie, an American academic and an expert in such matters, is candid about the situation in Britain. "This is a time when budgetary pressures mean universities need more friends than ever," he explains. " Apart from ear.narked research money and their own endowment funds, universities rely on money from the Government, and the fees students pay.

"Those fees are low by comparison with the US." The answer may well take time. The American universities with the most generous alumni can call on 250-year histories boasting super-rich success stories. UEA isn't quite in that league, with a 30-year history and its most famous alumni being the makers of the BBC sketch show The Fast Show. But while Gordon Brown ignores higher education, and that will be extremely easy to do with the economy in its current healthy state, UEA should start making friends with its graduates. "lt is going to be tough to move higher education up the priority list," Leslie adds.

"Universities are going to have to start with their alumni ."

Want to comment on anything in Concrete? Email su.concrete@uea.ac.uk

Bearing in mind what is reported on our front page today it should not come as much of a surprise to hear that the University has hired a child kidnapper to work in the Chaplaincy. lt is true that he has served his punishment but would it be too much to ask for a I ittle bit of sound judgement on the issue?

As we stated on the front page editorial: a person who has served their punishment should be allowed to try and get on with their life. However, in a situation where their are children on campus surely students and staff should have been consulted. The man will, after all, be working in a job that assumes a level of trust between priest and student.

For too long this university has made decisions without a proper watchdog in place to oversee their actions. Surely it's about time we were treated like the adults we are and given the opportunity to have a say in the university we all attend and work at? Perhaps then people could stand up tall when they say that they go to the University of East Anglia .

Just the ticket Correct us if we are wrong, but aren't student unions supposed to exist to support their students? So why are our Union refusing to give refunds for summer ball tickets when they knew it was scheduled during exams? At a time when student hardship is at its worst and our sabbs have made such a big deal about eradicating it, it seems totally ridiculous that they are essentially robbing students of nearly £40 .

All four Sabbs have attended marches on the subject and constructed a wall of debt in the Hive. They have done their most to make out that they are concerned about cash-strapped students. Yet when it comes to giving a certain amount of leeway to students the all mighty pound must obviously persevere. That the Union is running at a deficit this year should not stop them from having principles and from standing up for the very people who put them in their jobs in the first place.

Students who bought their tickets in good faith, later to find that they have exams the day after the ball, should not be out of pocket because of a scheduling conflict created by this Union .

All we can say is if anyone wants a ticket, don't visit the Union Box Office. Instead , do a fellow student a favour and contact Andrew Turner- his number is on page 2.

10

MEDIA PROFILE

www.co ncrete-o nIi ne .co. uk

Concrete

W EDNESDAY, APRIL

24, 2002

With the highest rising circulation of any magazine in Europe , Heat has gone from entertainment weekly lad mag to celebrity bible in the space of three years. Adam Chapman talks to editor Mark Frith about the OK! it's OK to like .

â&#x20AC;˘

urn1n he first thing you notice about the Heat office is how norma l it seems. it's a Friday and the editorial team is putting to bed the latest issue of one of the cou ntry's most successful "new titles". The large office on the seventh floor of the Emap building in Coven! Garden looks out over the start ling London skyline, but the interior is just as simple as th is newspaper's meagre premi ses, albeit with better furniture. it's hard to lose the preconception that the offices of the ce lebrity bible would be full of TV- sty le journali sts with wonderfu l clothes (think Carrie off Sex and the City) and little else to do but sit in their underwear, fag in mouth musing on whether Posh's bump is starting to show.

Heat editor Mark Frith seems to find the whole preconception of celebrity journa li sts rather amusing. "I think finding out which typeface Sarah Jessica Parker writes on her computer in Sex and the City and finding out which beauty products celebrities use is a part of a lot of the people who work on this team, especially the women," he says.

"But me, less so, no. I'm really fascinated by this world but it's also a job and I don't let it take over my life. We're distant enough from it to be objective." it's this coo l, collected, down-to-earth attitude that is most strikin g about Frith. As editor of a magazine with the highest rising circulation of any in Europe you would expect something a bit more 'media darling' but it appears to be more of a case of what you see is what you get. But despite his soft-spoken manner, he is notably proud of Heat's achievement in the past three years. lt has gone from struggling entertainment magazine aimed at men to second in the market behind Now. "This buzz has just grown," he enthuses. "Mass market, the magazine sold 450,000 copies last week but it's also really cool - which is bizarre because we never expected that. it's become a really hip magazine."

Frith followed the standard route into journalism . He edited his student magazine at Ea st London Poly, ignored the right -on causes of his fellow students and put Kylie and Jason on the front cover. lt seems to have set a precedent for the rest of his career. He went from there to work at Smash Hits.

"I had a lucky break in that I wrote to

Smash Hits who got me in for a couple of days and they liked me and I didn't leave for four and a half years. I was very very lucky."

He moved to Heat at its inception three years ago. lt wasn't always the student magazine of choice, however. When Heat started it did not meet with the same rece pt ion as it now re ceives, mainly due to a misca lculation as to wh o it should be aiming at . "Originally it was for blokes," he explains. " men in their twent ies an d ea rly t hirties, wh o were very se ri ous about entertainment, the kind of people who put their albums in alphabetical order," says Frith . " lt was based on Enterta in ment Weekly, an Amer ican entertainment magazine, which a lot of people in the i nd us try read. " lt did not succeed. Sales were discouraging and something drastic needed to happen if Heat wasn't going to follow the same route as the countle ss new magazines springing up at that time. Changes in personnel at the highest leve l were made and the magazine changed its targe t audience almost immediately. "A new publ isher came on board and a new editor in chief and they said the market for a magazine like this is women not men. So it changed virtually overnight from an entertainment magazine to a celebrity magazine.

"We incorporated more pictures, a lot of fashion stuff, different type of celebs. lt was a lot less worthy, a lot more fun with a fantastic sense of humour. We started pu ll ing in a lot of exclusives because people liked us. it's the magazine the stars read and

FRITH'S ADVICE ON HOW TO GET INTO MAGAZINES " I started working on a student magazine and I'm sti ll very involved with student magazines. I'm on the judging panel every year for The Guardian Student awards, because that is my background . I'm a great advocate of the student media we have in this country. No country has as good a system as we do. You can go to col lege and funded for you is this magazine or newspaper that you ca n write for, test out what works, your writing style, your photography style , what works on a cover, what won't, what people wil l pic k up. it's a good grounding for a journalist.

I ca me down to Lon don from Sheffield when I was eighteen, started wr iting for my college

magazine which was called Overdraft and after a year I stood for elec tion, got the job as a sabbatica l and edited the magazine. I won runner up journalist of the year at The Guardian Student Media Awards and I loved it.

that's the only reason so many of them talk to us and give us pictures because they love it themselves." lt is this aspec t of the magazine which has led to it constant ly being used to exemplify some kind of dumbing down process which is supposed to have gripped th e heart of the nation in t he last ten years. Frith is unperturbed by such criti cism believing that crit ics of the magazine are missing the point. " lt doesn't rea ll y pi ss me off," he cla ims. "My view is people have always wanted to be enterta ined.There have al ways been certain public figures, the nobility in centuries past who we would talk about."

Whil e it's hard to imagine the likes of Victoria Beckham and Gareth Gates attending banquets at the court of Elizabeth I, it is Frith's understanding of wh at makes his readers hip tick that saw him winnmg Editor of the Year at the 'magazine Oscars', the Periodical Publisher's Association awards.

"We are interested in other people 's lives and Heat is a very modern version of that," he explains.

"The clue is with our TV adverts, our slogan , which I often quote: 'The higher the IQ the greater the need for gossip'. Clearly that's a gag, but also I thmk we've stumbled on to something. The people who read Heat are really intelligent people. Just every Tuesday they

put their gossip hat on. We all have it and we all do it an d if we don't then I think we all look a bit po faced. We read the broadsheets, I read the broadsheets, I watch the TV news but I also love celebrity gossip . I see th at our readers are like that and I don't think there's anything wrong with that."

T

hat's not to say he's complacent. Market leader Now is about to launch a massive TV advertising ca mpaign in the summer so it will be a hard job to achieve Frith's goa l of adding a five to the front of their sales figures. " We beat Now four weeks ago on one issue. For the first time we sold more than the other three magazi nes and it wa s nice to have a taste of that. Obviously we want that permanently but it's going to be tough to beat them."

He also denies any snobbery aimed at the maga zine from other publications. "There probably is towards other magazines in the market but we are the belle of the ball at the moment. We win the awards, we get the write-ups.

"There will be a time when people are talking about us less. There will be a time when people are talk ing about us maybe more disparagingly. it's the Emperor's New Clothes. Something more exciting, hipper will come along," he continues.

In the meantime though the future looks bright for Frith. With his regular appearances on programmes such as the Channel Four top ten series and Liquid News on BBC, he has found another media avenue to enjoy - though that's not to say he isn 't dubious about a career in front of the camera. He will remain editor of Heat at least unti I it is market leader. And if imitation is the sincerest form of flattery they 4 must be doing something right.

Ailing Desmond-owned magazine OK 1 have recently re leased a free supplement that looks rather familiar.

Familiar as in exactly the same.

"I knew something was coming and I knew it was going to be like Heat but I didn't know it was going to be like that. I immediately th ought that it wasn't very good. They shot from selling 300,000 a week to se lling 600,000 a week with this free magazine but have now returned to what they were before. We were there first of all and we stand for something unique . I fee l vindicated ."

of t he magaz ine. That was me subvert ing t hat and playing around with it but also it was me being a bit populist and trying to shape a very ~ different magaz ine. The easy bi t is to get :'§;;- involved with your college magazine or newspa""" per. That's really rewardi ng. If you t hen want to move on to the next step it is tough because there's a lot of people out there wanting to do it.

However, it seems to me t hat TV and radio have been the glam professions over the last few years so there are less people chasing these jobs.

You write a letter and at the bottom of the letter you say I will cal l you on this date at this time and you don't go away, because 99 percent of the letters we get aren't followed up and its the ones who follow it up who are the keen ones. it's persistence that pays. As far as appealing to There are st ill things now that I prospective employers the most important thing to think back to that I learnt then. If you had seen me is that you understand the magazine and you my college magazine a lot of the spirit of that is co nvi nce me that you cou ld be someone who sti l l in me today. The Poly of East London was a cou ld write for that magazine, someone who could very worthy place to study with a lot of right on understand the market." courses and we put Kylie and Jason on the cover

#

Concrete

WEDNESDAY, APRIL

24, 2002

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â&#x20AC;˘

I

MEDIA PROFILE

11

SICK OF REVISING? www.prophu.co.filc

www.essayfly.com

Well, Pro Plus- the student's buddy- have set up a website called EssayFiy, the ultimate tool for students to use for research, revision tactics and stress management.

Log on to www.essayfly.com to find hints and tips on revision and exams together with an instant access database of essays posted on the site by students, for students.

12

Ll FESTYLE

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Concrete WEDNESDAY, APRIL 24, 2002

Ll FESTYLE

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Concrete WEDNESDAY, APRIL 24, 2002

Rude boys who 1gnore you

• • •

I

Cf)

·-

•

Above: Jo Robert (left) takes part in the LGB-staged gay wedding in the Square last month

t is a rare occurrence for someone to actually call Britain a backward country.

However, the demonstration that recently took place in the Square has highlighted the amazing amount of discrimination that same-sex couples face, and, surprisingly, Britain is relatively behind many other countries in this matter.

My 'wedding' day was excellent, and everyone involved had a really good time. Shopping for a dress and a veil, finding the music and the flowers and actually performing the ceremony was oddly emotional. This was not because I was publicly professing my love for my bride · she is just a friend · but because going through all the motions of getting married made me realise how sad it is that gay people can only receive blessings (or, if they live in London, sign a partnership register) .

These ceremonies have virtually no legal standing.

They only mean something to the people involved.

When a straight couple leave the church/registry office they immediately have rights and obligations that gay coup les in Britain are denied. Gay couples are asking for the same rights. They are asking for the same tax, pension, inheritance rights and benefits. They would like the same hospital and prison visitation rights. Another vital issue for many gay couples is adoption. At the moment any unmarried couple, gay or straight cannot adopt children. A gay person whose partner has children from a previous marriage cannot legally adopt their partner's chi ldren. lt is interesting that the Vatican's stance on gay partnership is that it will 'damage the fam ily', when preventing gay unions and adoption actually means that many happy and functional families are not acknowledged as such just because the parents are same-sex.

The outlook is not entirely bleak. The Liberal Democrats recently became the first mainstream

political party to back legal partnership rights for gay people. London Mayor Ken Livingstone, an energetic and passionate supporter of th is issue, has acknowledged that the Partnership Register is just the first step toward real equality. Brighton, Manchester and Liverpool councils are also consid·ering registers. Uniquely Britain is one of the few <:ountries globally that show equality in terms of immigration laws. A gay man or woman has just as much chance as their straight counterpart in having their partner from another country let in. There may also be changes in the adoption law. Over the next few weeks the issue of same-sex and unmarried couples being able to adopt will be debated in parliament and th is has the full support of many leading charities.

Gay partnership is a hotly debated issue all around the world. Many religious groups have a widely mixed stance amongst their members, with some such as UEA's minister Judith Gilbert taking an embracing attitude call ing for recognition of gay partnerships but "not actually using the word marriage". Other re i igious figures such as one particular spokesperson from the Vatican Gino Concetti are very negative. He cited gay partnership as signifying today's "moral disorder."

Globally, the status of gay partnership varies dramatically from country to country. Denmark is the clear winner in terms of legal equality. lt was in Denmark where the first gay partnership ceremo-

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Last month's 19th annua l Stop Smoking Day passed relatively unnoticed. Here's something to wake you up though; smoking may cause impotence says Jo Robert. decreases your fertility by more than t hirty percent.

Smoking also yellows your teeth, causes bad breath and, even more worryingly, causes long-term smokers to develop a potbelly, as smoking disturbs your fat distribution.

Van ity aside, it is long-term smoking t hat can kill you. One fift h of all deaths in the UK are smcking related, so quitting young is a good idea. The1e is never a good time to quit. Unless you're a hermit you will always go to the pub and be surrounced by smokers. However, there are worse times to quit such as mid-exam period or Christmas.

When quitting it is important to set a time and a

date and stick by it. Know how far you have come and congratulate yourself when you have done a week, month and a year smoke-free. If you are one of t hose smokers that habitually gets up and has a fag first thing find a different activity to distract you, like opening the mail. Try anything, but it is important to acknowledge what you are taking on.

One smoker who has given up for a month so far says to stick at it. "The first two weeks were absolute agony, but now I feel so much more clean and my hair smells nice." You will be moody; you will miss the feeli ng of that after-dinner smoke, but you certainly won't regret it.

120,000 hardy young British men are now impotent, b.__. arc unaware that cigarettes are the cause.

T

he majority of gay couples do not want to get 'married'. In a recent worldwide survey it was found that only 31% of gay couples actually want to have a rel igious union. I may personally have become swept away in choosing bridal wear and having all my friends dress up, but the fact is that I could have a blessing and do that. That would be missing the real issue here. lt is not the

Many straight couples don't marry because they do not approve of the institution of marriage as it now stands, and suffer from many of the same problems as gay couples.

'sa smo er's f you chose last month's annual Stop Smoking Day to give up the cigarettes, you were not alone. But while an estimated one million people push their willpower to the max in giving up cigarettes, only around 40,000 actually succeeds. So why do t hey do it? As Chandler Bing so rightly pointed out in Friends: "Smoking's cool and you know it!"

But if smoking can look sexy, unfortunately it can also hinder your sex life. Disturbingly, smoking has made 120,000 hardy you ng British men impotent, but very few of these smokers are actually aware that it is t he cigarettes that are causing the problem. Now, though, this is set to change.

Europer.!n cigarette packets will soon carry warn ings of impoten"e, whiiP smokers m Canada and Thailand are .;lreu,Jv treated to a little Illustration of what might r Ill } •tr rl >ltl.

Sadly 1t s aloe ao r.ews for the girls as smoking

ny was held. That was twelve years ago; back then the couples were given almost the same rights as straight married couples. Same-sex couples in Denmark have identical rights upon forming a civil partnership as straight <:ouples, while Norway, Sweden, Germany and the Netherlands also grant gay couples many of the rights that heterosexual couples take for granted.

Given that there are many countries such as Iraq where homosexuality is illegal, it is hardly surprising that there are also many countries where gay couples, even if they choose to come out, have no proper recognition . Countries spanning the globe such as E<:uador, Mexico, Japan, Croatia, Greece, India, Sri Lanka, Iran and many more give samesex couples absolutely no rights. In China, though, equality is but a distant dream - homosexuality is still considered by the psychiatric commun ity to be a mental illness. Worldwide equality is a long, long way off.

Should you decide to quit there is a lot of help available. There is an NHS Smoking Helpline, and there are NHS Stop Smoking Health centres all over the UK, where you can obtain advice, patches, gum, sprays and inhalers. Every year there is also an incentive in the form of a scheme called 'Quit and Win'. All you have to do is stop smoking for a month and be able to prove it by passing a breatalizer test for carbon monoxide. You are then instantly entered into your region's draw to be one of twe lve to win £1000. But wh ile the scheme may be over for this year, should you choose to stop smoking now you'll still see a cash injection. Giving up smoking twenty a day for one year and you'll be around £1,500 better of f - or £7,500 for f ive years.

An d with t hat amount of money, forget smoking.

You could probably pay a mate to te ll everyone you' re sexy every day.

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Before Easter I found out that this guy I quite liked was interested in me, we kept in touch vaguely over the holidays but since we got back he hasn't contacted me at all. I had thought about ringing him but I saw him briefly a few days ago and he was quite rude to me. Is he a fuckwit? What should I do now?

Upset EAS th ird year

E Cl)

Last month UEA's LGB Society staged a mock wedding between two same-sex coup les in the Square. One of the "brides" Jo Robert exam ines just what gay and lesbian couples are fighting for and the -implications for all couples regard less of sexua Iity.

attention-seeking need to have a big fluffy ceremony, but rather more adult issues that are the main concern. Hadleigh Bayley, President of the UEA Lesbian Gay Bisexual Society, is adamant that gay couples should be given equal rights. "Regardless of whether or not you agree with the marital institution it is the fundamental need for equality in every aspect of life that really matters."

Peter Thatchell, a very prominent gay rights campaigner, agrees • but points to the fact that almost fifty percent of marriages fai l, and asks why homosexual couples would want to try to ape a crumbling institution: "Isn't it strange that queers are jumping on the bandwagon just at the moment when straights are deserting it in droves?" Marriage is an ancient institution that just doesn't work for a sizeable proportion of the population any more.

Many straight couples don't marry because they do not approve of the institution as it now stands, and suffer from the same problems as gay couples do.

Thatchell suggests a new framework, one in which couples of any orientation design their own commitment ceremonies, choosing which rights and duties they wish to embrace and having this bond registered in a civil ceremony. For example, a couple may agree that they wish to embrace company spousal benefits but refrain from joint guardianship of the children. This idea would be intensely difficult to co-ordinate and has a rather pick and mix feel to it which is inappropriate to a bond that is so special and personal but marriage shouldn't be an all or nothing thing. This is what puts people off.

Many argue that it is important to remember that partnership rights are not just a 'gay' issue. lt is something that everyone should think about.

Registered partnership could become the new marriage, and it cou ld be an option for young people like us.

"Yes, he's a fuckwit, kick him in t he bollocks."

Steve {EAS)

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"He's not a fuckwit, he's just a bloke. She should get pissed, go to the LCR and pull someone else in front of him, that'd teach him!"

Tom {SOC) "Fuckwit. She should just forget about him. He's not worth it and I'm sure she can do much better than him. Dickhead."

Aysha (CHE) "Well, you should get drunk, go up to him in the LCR and have a go at him in front of everyone. Ask him why he's acted like a wanker. Tip a drink over his head."

Ellie {DEV) "Fuckwit, definitely."

Sam {SOC} "Shit, I think it's me actually!"

Kev (SOC) "She should go out and get a life. He sounds evil. lt's so rude, why do people do that to girls? I think she should forget about him."

Michelle {WAM) "She needs to get a man, not a boy. I suggest the f ire station is a good place to start looking."

Gemma (LAW) "He is clearly a fuckwit. Maybe its cos he's back with his mates and he needs to look hard in front of them.

He sounds quite young really, he needs to grow up."

Morgan {SOC) "He's clearly just tucking you around, and that should not be tolerated. Fuckwittage should not be tolerated.

Just be an aloof, unavailable ice queen, like Bridget.

What would Carrie do? I'm going to find him and stare at him, and then I'm going to get him. All boys are the same."

Anna {EAS) "He obviously has a small dick, she must be too pretty for him or something."

Elin (HIS) Compiled by Adam Chapman

The student teacher E was never my favourite subject at school. As far as my swimming teacher was aware, my period ran a 365 day cycle, and my reports usually went along the lines of 'could do better'. My attitude showed a marked improvement however, when the latest student teacher took to the side line one day, and, believe me, following a string of roving eyed butch lesbians, he caused something of a stir amongst us hormonefuelled 16 year olds.

I don't know what did it for me, it could have been his oompa lumpa esque stature, his over large bottom lip wh ich was more Jimmy Young than Will Young, or his rat her pert bottom. In retrospect, perhaps Matt wasn't exact ly who I imagined would one day give me private t uition in sex education. Although being our student teacher, I gained serious respect from the super cool Kappa Slappers of my school.

My glorious disposal of 'the big V' came after several weeks of courtship, in which the male wooed t he female wi th a series of strictly contact sports, while the female forgot to wear her bra for many a game of mixed basketba ll. After a particularly sweaty session, he

gave me a lift home in his white Fiesta and bought me a Forever Friends teddy bear. I was smitten.

So when he invited me round to check out his new tattoo, I jumped (quite literally) at the chance. Admittedly, the Union Jack scrawled across his thigh wasn 't a huge turn on, especially when it scabbed over and I kept finding various flakes of the St George cross in my crevices - but he was certainly doing his country proud that night. Not surprisingly, his height paid testimony to the size of his swizzel stick, and after several crucial minutes spent finding the necessary equipment, we had kick off. Perhaps inspired by the dodgy cover versions by Clock and Bus Stop playing in the background, Matt played a good game but with a little too much dribble.

Our post-coita l activit ies were not as romantic as Bliss magazine's'Your first Timea guide' had led me to expect- we watched a particularly bad episode of the Monkees, followed by Match of t he Day. Sadly, the only thing c linging to my body as opposed to the much ta lked about rosy cheeked after shag cuddle was a wet jonny and remnants of the England flag.

Liz (ART 2)

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Dublin. Ummm, annoying accents and leprechauns then?

Quaint Irish accents and the unerringly friendly people are what make this capital such an enjoyable place to be. The capital city of Eire is like London with its variety of shops and attractions but without its headache inducing hustle and bustle.

Give me t he nightlife and razzmatazz then!

Though clubs do exist in Dublin, the emphasis is placed firm ly on pubs. To experience Dublin, the temple bar area is a must. Only there does the true Irish 'craic' come into its own. Many bars though, mainly those away from the temple bar area, will have informal live music. The quiet bar is transformed into a throng of singing as soon as someone whips out a guitar from nowhere and starts an impromptu music session. Ever so bohemian.

Okay but what if I want to go out other than at night.

During the days there are plenty of entertainment and sights to observe. Bus trips which cruise around the heart of Dublin would be recommended to find out the sights of Dublin I whilst listening to a running commentary of Dublin's history The nature of Dublin and its compact centre means that most things of interest are within 30 minutes walk of the centre. The Guinness and Jameson distilleries, located about 20 minutes walk from the centre of Dublin, are good for an educational experience into your favourite intoxicant. Free samples are given at the end of the tours, which are welcome especially after the 12 floors in the Guinness building. Art galleries are availabl.e for you to peruse should you be feeling cultured, especially if you're in the mood for conceptual art.

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Concrete WEDNESDAY, APRIL 24, 2002

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Is it all city?

Just 3km from the city centre is the enormous Phoenix Park, one of the largest city parks in Europe. Its main attraction is Dublin Zoo. The Zoo is set in 30 acres of landscaped grounds where 700 animals and trop ical birds from around the world can be seen. A daily "Meet the Keeper" and feeding programme is the highlight of the trip, though don't go on ra iny days as the keepers are not too willing to appear. Best features are apes and lions, though don't go into the insect section unless you want to spend hours trying to identify whether your "insect " is indeed just that or a bit of dead leaf.

What if I get a bit peckish?

There are many side cafes selling a variety of things to tickle your tastebuds, but Macdonalds' is available for you fast food junkies as are the lush lush kebab houses.

The famous Bewleys coffeehouses are a must for the atmosphere and the coffee it sells is outrageously good.

How do I get there?

Flights start from £103 from British Airways. They can become even cheaper if you occasion across the bargain airlines such as Ryan Air/ Go at the right time. Rail/sail tickets getting you direct to Dublin can cost from £80 for t wo people return. Accommodation from £9 a night at hostels means Dublin is a city with in even the most limited budget.

Matthew Beaven

Undoing the hula Think Hawaii and you think sandy beaches, dancing girls and overdressed cocktails. You don't think psychopath Marines, tramps and a fascist ID regime, at least you don't if you're Ruth Charnock. ah, Hawaii. Grass ski rts.

Idyll ic beaches. Seminaked women with flowers round their necks. Japs and Yanks bombing each other to annihilation. The image is one of a sun-baked haven of movie-style loveliness.

My visit to the island in June 2001 was a time for fi rsts. The fi rst time I had smoked weed. The fi rst t ime I had sunbathed on a beach bordered by 50 foot skyscrapers. And the first time I had slept in a mud-hut with a self-professed psychopathic ex-Marine for company. That was connected to the weed incident, unsurprisingly.

The trip did not start with a great deal of tropical promise. Sleep-deprived, we stumbled into Waikiki (Hawaii's capita l) towards our hostel; fru itily named " The Banana Bungalow". Incidentally, avoid this place at all costs - it mings to high Hawaiian heaven.

En-route, we passed a slumbering tramp in a flowerbed . As you do.

Imagine our surprise, though, upon entering our room to f ind said tramp had roused up enough energy to move himself from his leafy home and was now lying spread-eagled in a more orthodox resting-place. My bed, to be precise. He resisted all my efforts to agitate his bleary form, but did burp in my face.

We complai ned and all was well, but it illustrated that Hawai i might not be quite the glossy vision of wave- lapped shores and sundrenched cocktai ls that many imagine. I soon learnt that beneath t he grass skirts and hula fu n lies a seedy underworld of intrigue, corruption and Japanese people.

Yes, t he Japanese f lock to Waikiki, World War 11 exploits or not. The women seem pulled to the proliferation of designer shops on t he central drag. Chanel , Gucci and Louis

Vuitton can all be found here, alongside stalls selling Hawaiian shirts worthy of any lairy Essex boy. Although you'd be pushed to find any of those among the hordes of privileged young Americans and our sushi-munching friends.

And the over-21 drinking laws rudely quashed any fantasies of sipping cocktails on a moonlit veranda. 'No probs', I thought, 'If I cou ld get away with drinking in Blighty at 14, I can certainly shimmy my way around a few doormen here'. Sadly, my efforts were thwarted. The only chance us mere 19 year olds have of drinking here is if we' re armed with a fake id of the highest calibre. I'm not talking the old 'peel back the cellophane and change the 1 to a 0' trick on your NUS card that carried me through the wilderness years.

Things are much more high-tech across the Atlantic. Fake driver's licenses, birth certificates and passports all change hands to ensure entry into Waikiki's premier night· spots. Although with club names like "Coconuts" and "Chunky Monkey's", you have to wonder what you 're missing out on.

Teetotal for eleven days, we had to f ind less orthodox forms of entertainment. Sun worshipping on Wa ikiki beach is always a good choice, even though you may find yourself sharing your patch with five Japanese men erecti ng a flat-pack gazebo so their women can keep out of the sun. Why go to the beach, I ask you? Either that. or you may roll over and find yourself next to Beverly Hills' finest silicone. For some, th is may be an added bonus. Personally, I wasn't fee ling it.

Short of that, a trip to the super-sized mall is never a bad t hing. Hawaii gives you the perfect opportunity to live the America n Dream travel ler style. Step 1: gorge yourself on Taco Bell / other addictive junk food. Step 2: in self-c reated sugar haze convi nce your-

self into buying loudly patterned shirt. Step 3: model shirt, convincing yourself that you look like a native. Step 4 : wearing said shirt, assume somnolent position in front of the tv and channel surf until you've worked up sufficient appetite for more nasty snacks. Step 5: repeat, until you can no longer fit in the shirt and have to buy another.

I did not allow myself to be sucked into this {very tempting) vortex but instead took a trip up to Hawaii's north shore to a place named Haleiwa. lt was much less commercial than Waikiki and closer to the desert island paradise I had pictured Hawaii to be.

We stayed in a hut about the size of your average dog-kennel. Claustrophobia increased upon meeting our room-mate, Car!.

His first words? 'I'm not here to have sex with you, just to sleep.' This was followed in quick succession by 'I used to be a Marine, you wanna see my scars?' We didn't, but this didn't matter to Car!.

We got to see the scars and later he got out the weed. lt seemed like a fair exchange at the time.

To me, that pretty much encapsulates Hawaii. You go expecting a tan and a cocktai l. Instead, you come out with a nasty shirt and a life-long friendsh ip with one of America's Most Wanted. lt's just one constant tropica l surprise.

Flights to Hawaii: • London Heathrow to Honolulu {via San Francisco) in July - £1008 (basic) with United Airlines.

• London Heathrow to honolulu {via Paris and San Francisco in July - about £950 with Air France.

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24, 2002

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"I can understand why students are disillusioned with the NUS. The majority of students see it as nothing more than 10% discounts."

25-year-old.

"We used every lobbying technique we have, we held demonstrations and meetings w1th pol itical people. it was a constant, constant campaign wh 1ch IS still going on now," she says.

However, she also names one of her ambitions as appeal ing to ord inary students now she has made the move to London . Unsurprisingly, to the majority of students, the NUS means little more than money off in Top Shop or HMV. But Mandy has plans to change this.

"I can understand why students are disillusioned with the NUS . The majority of students see it as nothing more than 10 % discounts. I just think it gives us a big task to make them see that we are something that students should get involved in and something students should be proud of. " At the moment I don't th ink we are runn ing so students can get that involved in us. The way we should do th is is from the bottom up. Student unions across the country are doing it, volunteers in student unions do believe in their student union , but they may not get involved with the national un ion." andy has a wealth of experience in the student body - but it wasn't what she always wanted to do. Student pol it ics was somethmg she discovered when she got to university. And now she wants to go on and keep fighting for students' rights .

"When I got to university I never thought I would end up here. I got involved in my Union with wornens' and equal ity positions and then I was a Vice-President at Strathclyde, wh ich was a sabbati cal position . I then moved onto become NUS Scotland 's Womens' Officer. So the equality issue is where my passion lies and I th ink after NUS I would li ke to work in that f ield - either education or for womens' nghts." it hasn 't all been plain sa iling. As a member of

M

the national political group, Labour Students, Mandy has faced lots of criticism . Her rivals and the ir supporters cla im that she is using student pol it ics as a path to the Commons. And even while she was giving a speech at the NUS conference m Blackpool, there were skeptical chants and posters saying 'Mandy loves Tony'. This is something that Mandy heavily refutes.

"I find it laughable," she insists. " If you look at the number of hours that we work in NUS, you 're travelling the country, you rarely have a weekend free , you genuinely wouldn't do it if it wasn 't for the love of the job. Obviously I have had the whole criticism levied at me because I am a Labour student."

And indeed, you would have to love the job .

Mandy has little time for friends, hobbies or even exercise. Her job is one which requires full com mitment. " it is so rare that I get a weekend off so I spend it with people who I don't see very much and I catch up with people who aren't involved in student politics," she explains.

As well as her trustworthy Scottish accent, it was possibly Mandy's feistiness that left the compet ition struggling to keep up with her. Just by watching her persuading voters that she was the best candidate, is was evident that she's not scared of anyone - least of all politicians.

"My record shows that I have never been scared to stand up to the government and tell them they are wrong," she assures. "And I will continue to do that, and in a very loud voice."

The move from leading 150,000 students to being president of an organisation which represents 3 .5 million students may seem like a daunting thought, but unsurprisingly Mandy is eagerly awaiting the chance. " I am looking forward to the challenge, and moving to London . it is li ke the big city to me. I am aware of the huge job that I have got to do. And I'm not scared."

FINAL-YEAR STUDENTS Last week saw the election of Mandy Telford as the new Presid ent of the National Union of Students.

Katie Hind talked to the softly-s poken Scat about scrapping fees and shouting loud.

Labour of love andy Telford is the woman responsible for overhauling the Scottish student funding policies - abolishing fees and bringing back grants - all while she was President of the NUS in Scotland.

She lobbied the government, spoke with MPs and staged massive demonstrations. Now she is about to do it again - but this time in England .

Mandy was elected President of the National Union of Students at the NUS annual conference in Blackpool last week. She defeated fellow officers, Brookes Duke and Carli Harper-Penman to take the post, which has been held by Owain James for the past two years.

Just days after her t ightly contested win, where there were very few votes between the former Strathclyde University student and her rival Duke, Mandy promises to revive the NUS- a job which may seem to some as being impossible. But her ma1n priority is to repeat the success that she and her team had up North.

"I hope to take the funding campaign, re-energise it and make it stronger," she says. "I want to

make our voices heard and eventually lift students out of hardship. I think that it is the number one priority for the national union at the moment because so many students are facing hardship that we need to look at our campaign and the way we are working and give it a new lease of life ."

Indeed, th is is someth ing she managed to do in Scotland . In 1999, Mandy, who trained as a primary school teacher before going into student pol itics, led the Scottish NUS on a m1ssion wh ich changed the lives of the country's students. They defeated the government position and un iversal student negativity and brought back free education. With all of the political parties except for Labour promising to scrap fees during the Scottish parliament elect1ons in that year, Mandy fought on and her team won back the maintenance grant.

"At NUS Scotland we supported free education but we were keen to see whether they widened out into student hardship," she recalls. "Tu it ion fees aren 't the only issue, students from poorer backgrounds weren 't getting a grant so we called for an independent review in student fund ing wh ich we got and we also got a student place on that com mittee which was a big win for us," adds the

Ever wondered how you Ill keep in touch after youlve left? Ever wished you could keep your UEA e-mail address forever? Ever wanted contact details for all your UEA mates in one handy book? Ever wondered how you will cope without the LCR?

DON'T PANIC The UEA Society is here with our Golden Golden Triangle service, giving you everything you could possibly need to survive in life after UEA (well, almost everything ... ) Complete the form in your pigeonhole or visit the Golden Triangle stand in the Hive on Fridays 26 April and 3, 10 and 17 May 11 am- 3pm. www.uea.ac.uk/alumni

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Concrete W EDNE SDAY, APRIL 24, 2002

or Students are renowned for their poor diet- to find out how healthy you are simply answer the following questions (honestly) and follow our expert advice on how to shape up for the Summer.

1 : What is your typical breakfast?

4:

a) A bowl of Al l Bran and a glass of orange juice. b) A cup of coffee and a fag. c) A fried egg sandwich and a cup of good old builders' tea. d) A Nutrigra in bar and a flapjack- they've got oats in so they must be good for you.

2:

lt's lunchtime but you've only got 20 minutes. how do you fill up? a) You've prepared a delic ious packed lunch com prising a lettuce sandwich on brown bread wi t h an apple and a bottle of water. Yummy. b) A Pro Plus to get you through the afternoon and a few packets of crisps from the bar. c) Off to the Diner for a delicious meal of pie and chips. it's very important t o feed that brain before a lecture. d) A coleslaw and cheese roll from SASSAF. Coleslaw is salad and it's on brown bread.

3 : After your lecture it's off to the library. Do you take any munchies? a) Even though you 're practically passing out from hunger by now you sip from your Evian bottle. b) Yup. A cup of coffee from the machine and a stack of chocolate bars. c) A Cornish pasty from the UFO and a can of Coke. d) A raspberry flapjack . You 've heard that eating fruit he lps inform ati on sink into th e brain.

Dinner time. What delicious meal do you cook? a) You're starv ing, but manage to drag you rself to the cooker to prepare a stir-fry (no oil) includ ing beansprouts , carrots, mange tout and sweetcorn served wit h a small serving of brown rice . b) Three bowls of cereal, a loaf of bread and some potato waffles. c) By now you're sk int and have to make do with what 's in the fridge . That means another meal of egg fried rice with tomato ketchup and cheese . d) A low fat ready meal. lt says Low Fat, okay?

5:

Your friends are going to Liquid.

What do you do? a) Meet them at the club so t hat you don't have to drink before hand and then stick to water. You have a shit t ime, but at least you won 't put on any weight. b) Although you feel bloated, you go to a few bars to stock up on Red Bull and vodka , before moving on to VK Energy at Liquid . c) Drink half a bottle of vodka at home before moving on to th e beers at Liquid. Wander into Cafe 2000 and order a double cheeseburger and fries with extra mayo. it's all part of going out. d) Alcohol doesn 't count, and doctors recommend drinking a glass of red wine every day. Seven vodka and cokes is only a slight va ri ati on .

Mostly A's:

Dear God , it's a wonder you 're still alive. Whilst you may think you're eating properly depriving yo urself of food is not goi ng to do you any good in the long term. You

need a good mix of protein, fats , carbohydrates, starch and dairy to stay healthy. As we ll as missing out on essential nutrients which could lead to health problems later on in life , as well as con stantly bei ng hungry and weak in t he short term , you also have an unhealthy attitude to food which is the f irst step towards an eating disorder. Food is fue l - you need it to keep going, but it is also there to be enjoyed . Treat you rself to a (guilt-free) fry-up occasionally, yo ur body (and sanity) will thank you for it.

Mostly D's:

Bless you, you do try. .

Unfortunately food compan1es aren 't on our side . Th ey're quite happy to label food as being low in fat without men tio ni ng the fact that it is also loaded with ca lorific sugar and so many preservatives that your insides will end up looking like pick led wa lnuts by the time you 're 35 .

You 're going to have to ta ke respo nsibility for yourself by dusting down that cook book and buying ac tual ingredients, even though it means losi ng that lovely feeling of having a meal ready in three minutes.

Mostly B's:

Buzzing one minute, letha rgic and drowsy the nexF Th e amou nt of caffeine coursing thro ugh your veins, as well as sugar rushes, do your heart no good at all and can lead to insomnia and heart problems. You see food as an unnecessary inconven ience in your hectic life, but yo u'd fin d that yo u'd have much more energy if you substituted shot-term bursts of energy for slow-release energy which can be found in carbohydrate- lade n foods such as pasta , bread and bananas. For a healthy burst of sugar, try melon or oranges (they're served at half-time during sports matches for a reason).

Mostly C's:

I'm guessing that you already know your diet isn't exactly low fat , and that you simply enjoy your food so much that you don 't care. Either that or you have a ri diculously fast metabolism and you just can't put on weight. Bastard. Either way, you don't need me t o tell you what damage yo u're doing to you rself.

But I'm going to anyway. Try grilling instead of frying, don't dri nk so much alcohol, cut down on processed food and eat more fruit and vegetables.

If you carry on like that you'll either find yourself clinically obese and/or dead . Lecture over.

CALORIE CHART: • Pint of lager: 170 • Measure of vodka: 55 • Gin and tonic: 85 • 125ml glass of medium white wine: 95 • 125ml glass of red wine: 85 • Pint of Guinness: 182 • Bacardi Breezer: 200 • Measure of Archers: 65 • Hovis Country Grain • Multigrain (per slice): 79 • Hovis Crusty wh ite (per slice): 103 • Kelloggs All Bran Plus (loz): 77 • Kelloggs Rice Crispies (loz): 105 • Burger King Whopper with cheese: 703

• Big Mac: 493 • Chicken Chow Mein: 700 • Prawn Chop Suey: 300 • Plaice in Batter: 650 • Skate in batter: 450 • Lamb Biryani: 900 • Chicken likka: 350 • Spaghetti Carbonara: 900 • Ravioli: 500 • American Hot pizza (Pizza Express): 931 The recommended daily calorie allowance for men is 2500 calories with the poor girlies only being allowed 2000.

Please consult your GP before going on a caloriecontrolled diet.

VOX POP: We accosted some UEA students around campus and asked them a few routine questions about their lifestyles. How healthy are they?

Name:

EMMA ROWLAND (LAW 1)

FIONA HOWIE (CHE 4)

PHILIP HANSFORD (DEV 1)

SHIYAN SMITH (SYS 3)

TOM MOORE (DEV 1)

Weight and Height:

9 1/2 stone, 5ft 2inches

12 stone, 5ft llinches

11stone, 5ft 11 inches

8 1/2 stone, 5ft 3inches

1 P/2 stone, 6ft 2 inches

How often do you exercise?

Three times a week

Twice a week

Three to four t imes a week

Never

Three times a week

Brown bread , apples, pasta, lager, ready meal s

Peppers, mince , Martini apples and rice

Milk , brown bread , yoghurt , tomatoes, peppers

Five items that are always on shopping list:

Brown bread , peppers, pears , wat er and mi lk

Brown bread , pasta , cheese, sa lad and apples

Ideal weight:

9 stone

11 stone

12 stone

Happy

12 stone

Celebrity most like to resemble:

Britney Spears

Britn ey Spears

Brad Pitt

Rachel (S Club 7)

David Beckham

Yes , d idn 't work

No

No

No

15-20 units

15 units

60 units

7 units

12 units

Emma eats well, an d excercises regular ly, but I am concerned about her alcohol intake. The maxi mum for women is 14 un its a week and, although it's hard at Uni , I think she'd rea lly see the benefits if she cut down.

Although Fiona has a good diet, she should try to include some green and red (peppers for example) vegetables as well as red meat to make sure she 's gett ing enough iron . Keep up the good work!

Shiyan may be svelte and gorgeous at the moment, but the lack of calci um in her diet and absence of excercise may lead to problems later on . Try swimming with friends a few t imes a week .

The only worry I have about Tom 's li festyle is that he's too perfect! Although eating healthi ly is obviously the way forward, it doesn 't do any harm to have a blow-out once in a while. Go on, get a cu rry down you r neck .. .

Ever dieted?

Units of alcohol per week: Nutritionist's verdict:

Yes , eati ng health ily

Ignoring the obvious alcohol issue (it's not big or clever) , ready meals are not good. Most of their nutritional value has been lost, and they are full of harmful preservatives, not to mention being very high in fat.

LOOK

www.concrete-onl ine.co.uk

Concrete WEDNESDAY, APRIL 24, 2002

THE BARE ESSENTIALS: There are some things that you just have to have ...

Gypsy skirts A must have this season, and at only £35, the gyspy skirt is definitely worth the money if you want to keep up with this summer's look. The skirt comes in a selection of colours, such as pink, mauve and white and can easily be dressed up or down. Additional gypsy skirts with different lengths and fringes can also be found, depending on how rustic you want to look. Our suggestion is to team the skirt up with a plain tshirt and a jean jacket in order to make the style less like Little House on the Prairie and a little more chic. Or for more glamour why not try it with a pair of heals and a low plunging top. But be caref ul not to overdo it by mixing your florals and fringes too madly, cowgirl is a definite nono. We also advise you not to spend too much as rumour has it that this style is only for this season, so keep some of that loan for other 'Look' essentials.

Kat Realff

Hair Products For all you girls and maybe even boys who want a mane less reminiscent of Welsh songstress Shirley Bassey and more like straightening queens Nicole Kidman and Jennifer Aniston, then this little tube could be your saviour. Priced at a mere £10, the balm can be used daily, so sparingly that t he tube lasts forever (relatively speaking). Although you may be happy sticking to the brand you already use, many styling gels work differently on assorted textures of hair, and it is worth shopping around to see what suits you. A dash of ligi's balm and a little heat will result in the hair you've always wanted. This brand can be found at Toni and Guy and selected hairdressers in the city. So now you can style your hair both curly and straight, depending on your outfit and where you are going. You'll no longer look like a poodle with a pylon up its arse.

Kat Realff

THE CELEBRITY: Jen nif er An iston f it's not her clothes that we're jealous of the n it must be her hair, her body, the fact that she makes $1million per episode on one of the most famous sitcoms in American history and, oh yes, the fact that she's married to Ober-god, Brad Pitt. This woman oozes style. Although fans and stylists seem to be influenced by her character Rachel, she has a style and wardrobe to die for. Aniston is not really the girly girl type and prefers to dress casually and comfortable. Often spotted wearing baggy black 'pants' and fitted jeans, she was also partly responsible for making combat trousers fashionable again. At award ceremonies and premieres you will often find her wearing two piece or tuxedo suits, such as the one she wore for the Golden Globes. Jennifer is also frequently seen in masculine tailored suits accentuating her approachable and relaxed style. Her favourite designers are Ralph Lauren, Donna Karen, Armani and D&G all fighting to dress her in their neutrals, twin sets and designer jeans. And let's not forget the hair. This is after all the woman who sparked off a hair cutting frenzy, as thousands of women got the "Rachel" and proceeded to demonstrate the munter rule whereby normal people look crap when they try to look like celebrities no matter how hard they try. Just to mess with your heads it is rumoured that she wants to cut it all off to settle for a short spiky crop, although her bosses at WB have told her they wi 11 sack her if she destroys the head t hat made Rachel.

Copies of her fitted jeans can be found at Topshop, New Look and Oasis. Or for the real thing, why not try boutiques such as Catherine Barc lay or Elements.

Cool and relaxed !-shirts can be found in Gap and second ha nd shops. For tailored suits, again Topshop and DKA have a great selection although tailors such as Trotter and Dean in the city may be a better option. it seems that this girl never gets it wrong and is quite different from some of t he Hollywood divas we see.

After all at least she can understand the fact that she is only human. Now all we need is a perfect tailored Brad on our arm. Keep looking girls, not much chance Kat Realff of t hat happening at UEA.

I

FAUX-PAS: Men's pants Nintendo Game Cube Not technically a fashion item true, but the Nintendo GameCube is destined to be a design classic even before it's release in this country. lt tru ly is something to behold. Who says we forget the boys? Specifically aimed at that breed of person who has to own the newest accessories before they even hit the shops (Japanese imports anyone?) GameCube brings compact style to a whole new level. And it's avaliable in indigo too.

A tiny little thing (4.5" x 5.9" x 6.3"), the GameCube is portable too, so all of you boys too masculine to carry around a Fendi baguette (surprisingly there are still quite a few) or too insecure to invest in a Prada man bag (not as disgusting as it sounds) this is your up to date replacement.

So now all you have to do is fork out the £164.99 (Amazon price) so that your GameCube can take pride of place in your living room.

Except of course, this being a style icon you can only use it on special occasions and no one, repeat no one, is allowed to touch it. Oh and there are games and DVD capabilities and tiny little discs but that's beside the point isn't it? it's fashion, man.

Ada m Chapman

MALE MODELS: We need at least three men to model for a fashion shoot to be published in May. If you have a friend, boyfriend or if you think you could give it a go contact su.concrete@uea.ac.uk fao Kat Realff

17

The most heinous type of underwear known to man is of course, the male thong. The only possible excuse you could have for wearing one is that you are a long-haired, greased-up, pec-tastic Mediterranean stripper. In that situation the male thong really goes with the territory and you're probably used to t he mockery by now. But on your regular Englishman, this would be most out of place. They have stiff upper lips; they also have tightly clenched buttocks, unsuitable for fancy underwear excursions. So if any of yo u, anywhere, inspired by your girlfriend's underwear are thinking of doi ng it, just remember this simple formula: thong equals wrong.

Another underpant crime on the increase thanks to subversive advertising is wearing Yfronts. You men might not care what chicks wear as long as it's coming off, but hear this, and remember it, we hate y-fronts. We loathe them.

They're icky. Don't let Calvin Klein lure you down this rocky road. Because if Marky Mark, or the big-packaged Travis Femmell can't truly pull this look off you sure as hell can't. When a man pulls down his trousers to revea l y-fronts, no matter how big his package may be, a girl never thinks 'Stud!' You'll remind them of their fathers in Speedos or the class geek who got his arse towel whipped in PE lessons. Think about it boys, famous people that wore y-fronts? Basil Fawlty.

The old man in Steptoe and Son. Ritchie the sexual failure in Bottom. These are your fashion influences? Anal men weary-fronts. They scream 'control freak', in much the same way as buttoned up cardigans and white shoes. Face it boys- Yfronts only ever had one sexy moment in the sun and that is when Cameron Diaz shook her perfectly toned ass in them at the beginning of Charlie's Angels. Trust me, it's time to hang loose.

Jo Robert

Wrong in so many ways Y-fronts scream control freak in much the same way as buttoned up cardigans and white shoes.

1a

COFFEE BREAK

www.co ncre te-on Ii ne .co. u k

~tl

• • •

You're full of bnght 1deas as your birth day approaches, but unfortunately hardly any of them will come 1nto fruit1on.

Perseverance IS the key to success 1n such a situatiOn. View 1! l1ke the London Marathon; you ' ll emerge hot, sweaty, ugly and knackered but at least you'll have done 1!. You won't get any medals either, but you can feel smug. You're cutt1ng some hard business at the moment and closmg some deals, JUSt be ca reful that this ruthless streak does not expand to yo ur 1mmed1at e fnends and family, they wil l not give you any cash.

Birth day boys and girls can expect many wonderful and vaned surpnses, although none of them w1ll be particula rly pleasant. Look out for evil comrades lay1ng 1n wai t to g1ve yo u t he bumps. Overall, life won't treat you badly but be v1gilant and yo u JUSt might fmd you rself hav1ng fun.

(/)

Q)

0...

0

u (/) 0

"0 I

Celebrity Taurus Daniel MacPherson 25 April

(;..~ You' re 1n for a b1g shock on Wednesday, I'm not go1ng to tell you wh1ch Wednesday or what t he shock 1s exactly but 1! has to do wi t h yo ur fee t. If you 're 1n a relat1onsh1p, you might find your fait h 1n it wan1ng, your lover's ni ggling habi ts wi l l start to wmd you up no end . it's best to end 1t really, 1! sounds doomed to me. Just send them a text or so meth ing straightforward like that. They'll respect yo u for it.

Taurus

Scorpio

So you f1nally stopped be1ng a pussy and actually got your act together. Well congratulatiOns, I'm extreme ly pleased for you. But where do you go from here? Well, you can start by re-1gnit mg a past romance or you co ul d just spend more time w1th your friends. lt real ly IS your call but sex is free so I'd go w1 t h that opt10n 1f I were you. Just make sure yo u have a was h and shave all unnecessary ha1rs beforehand.

r

Concrete

,.Gemini I'm always n1ce to Gem1ni's and it 's recently come to my attent1on that I have been h1dmg from you the temble truth regarding you r future .

I'd l1ke to tell you what 1t is but 1t's simply too homble to contemplate. I do, however, offer pnvate readings over the phone and I suggest you call me for one 1mmed1ately. it's £25 a reading and I take Mastercard, Sw1tch and Visa , but not Solo, it really sucks. Call now and f1nd out your fa t e.

-lJ Sagittarius

~Capricorn

You are still a b1g fat old stresshead, aren't you? Jesus and all h1s Disciples, what the hell IS wrong with you? The source of all your stress IS soon to come to an end, so you might as well JUSt enJOY the fear while it lasts. Soon you ' ll be up shit creek w1thout a paddle and you ' ll w1sh you were back to you r old ro ut1ne. Just make sure it doesn't interfere wit h your looks, pre tty people are much more interestmg.

You need to exerc1se your mental muscles.

Yes , that involves your brain . You need to build yourself up to face challenges that m1ght cross your path in the next two weeks .

Saturn is in yo ur s1gn th1s fortnight, t h1s is usually a good thi ng but I think it'll take more than a stupid planet with a hulahoop round it to 1mprove your life . Bung a five r my way and I'll see what I can do for you.

a

Cancer

Oh you slily, silly Cancerians. you have been a b1t stupid recently haven 't you 7 it's okay, you don 't need me to beat you around the head, you've been doing that for ages. Take no chances in love, and when faced with a roman t ic di lem ma come to conclusions after much del iberat ion and careful conside ratiOn . I know yo u've been messed about, but things will get better thIS fortn 1ght. I promise, and I am allknowing.

Aquarius You've recently stumbled across some 1nformat1on that you really shouldn't have seen. Don 't worry, the FBI aren't going to try and shoot you or anything, just don't let the whole world know yo ur secrets. it's best to j ust 1gnore this pot en t ial landm1ne of secrecy, things like this always land you in trouble.

Just invest 1n some superglue and apply it to your lips, you'll thank me by next week, I know it.

u ent accorn

•

Please. for God's sake don't get you r hopes up about upcom1ng progress1ons 1n your f1nanc1al status. You have been poor, you are poor and you always will be poor, despite many desperate attempts to raise some much needed cash. Ju st go wi th it, invest in an attractive cardboard box and fmd you rself a spot outside WH Sm ith where yo u can p1ck f1ghts w1th st rangers t hen beg them for cash. You'll need a fat marker pen too.

GE

LEI I

GS

&SALES C ALL N O V\1 FOR FU RTH E R DETAIL S

125 UNTHANK ROAC 1

ORWICH 1

R22PE

Pisces

I took the trouble of consu lting my tea leaves for you thIS fortnight, don't worry, they d1dn't show anyth1ng bad, they didn't show anyth1ng at all actually but I still need reimbursing for the cost of the cup and leaves. Its about £4 each.

Otherwise things look ok for you , just beware of opportunists trying to make fast bucks at you r expense. Don' t let influential people pull the wool over your eyes. And be careful.

D

PROPERTY MA

w;j

Leo

f.'

E

W ED NE SDAY , APRIL

24 , 2002

Virgo

You 've been act1ng as the go-between for fa r too long now, just leave t hose stup1d quarrels to the people that Instigate the m and butt out . You don 't want to get ma rred wi t h th e status of sh1t-st1rrer do yo u 7 Mars 1n you r sign indica tes a t1me for shoc kingly h igh-ca lorie chocolate f1xes. preferab ly w1th a caramel and nougat centre . I'm awai ti ng my free prod ucts 1n the post, so feel free to post t hem to the usual address please. Concrete, UEA, etc etc .

~Aries You are a blagger of extraordi nary proportions aren 't you? You 've procured more freeb1es th1s week than Lady Vic tona Hervey. So how does 1t feel to l1ve the high life? Is 1t everything you thought 1! would be 7 What a si lly quest1on, of course 1t is l Just be careful not too get too cheeky...

What am I say1ng? Go for 1!, they owe you anyway don' t they? And think of all the cred1t yo u 've ga1ned. Or something.

• at1o

LETTERS

Concrete WEDNESDAY, APRIL 24, 2002

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR PO Box 410 路 Norwich Fax 01603 506822

19

CONCRETE

NR4 7TB

Tel 01603 250558 E-mail su.concrete@uea.ac.uk

Issue 137 Editor Adam Chapman

Lead by example I read w1th 1nterest Alexandra S1m-W1se's letter defendmg herself and her cheerleaders from the 'bad press' they've been receiving lately. The cheerleaders seem to be getting a little paranoid - I can't say I've noticed any long runnmg smear campaign against them, but maybe I missed it. What exactly are they compla ining about? The art1cle on the prom king and queen reflected campus opinion (which is the point of a student newspaper, right?), and the sex survey comment was just a joke (don't worry Pink, nobody thought it was you).

Parts of Alexandra's letter seemed t9 completely m1ss the po1nt - she's quite right 1n saying that if a cheerleader pulls at the LCR it's a private thing, but that's not why people d1ss cheerleaders. it's the1r public, rather than their private actions which are a cause for concern, and wh1ch have earned them the reputation they have.

I (and I think most other people) wouldn't mind the way they acted (i.e. as your typical cheerleader) if they accepted the consequences; but they can't have their cake and eat it too. Lets face it, they're not really 1n a position to grumble about being labeled prostitutes when they organise public 'dancing' displays which basically involve writhing around in provocative clothing and, in the case of the slave auction, then selling themselves off to the highest bidder. One word of advise cheerleaders: if you want your society to be taken seriously, you've gotta do something with your clothes on .

Alex McMillan (HIS 1)

Motion reply The poem 'The AndrewMot1on' was not written to 'ridicule' Andrew Motion's work. The poem was supposed to focus on the boundaries between art and celebrity. When Motion was dragged backwards through the tabloids last year, his private life became public domain. 'The AndrewMotion' was meant to represent a possible tabloid endgame of what was happening at that time.

I am no playa hater. Haters I no like. I had no intention of accusing the poet laureate of being 'big-headed' or for wearing corduroy trousers.

Concrete's Interpretation of my poem (although I blame no one) has left me embarrassed and others offended. lt has also greatly reduced my chances of getting on the Creative Writing MA course.

Mr Motion seems to have taken similar offence to my description of him as an 'imperialist'. I am confused as to why. On his adv1ce I have looked up the word in several different dictionaries, but this has confused me further. Maybe Andrew could arrange a tutorial to explain it to me?

Ross Sutherland

Funny money?

Your recent article on the Labour Society's 'Euro Week' is indicative of the pace that this debate is gaining. The political implications of the article (bolstered by the adv1ce on how to JOin the society that was included in it) are so important that a counterargument must be delivered. Students should be informed that there are accessible campus organisations ready to deliver it.

In the past few weeks it has become obvious that Millbank has covertly stepped-up the rhetoric. A month ago an aggressive 'Pro-Euro' event sympathetiC to No. 10 was staged 1n the Arts Building. The Labour Society has lately shown 1t IS qu1te prepared and able to JOin 1n the zealous approach that Millbank prefers.

Instead of concentrating on the mythical 'missing the boat' story that Labour hopes to scare the people with', the political ramifications of entering are quietly being swept under the carpet (even UEA is not exempt from the touch of Campbell). Adopting the 'Euro' will mean the losing control of interest rates and budgetary control (I readily concede that we will have a 1/15 of influence, and disregard it) .

However, why is th1s so Important (I hear the 'onmessage' ask)? Control of the economy (or lack of it) is the backbone to any political party's manifesto in a democracy. Whether Socialist, Thatcherite or other, political parties will (w1th the adoption of the Euro) become unable to promise radical or adven-

turous fiscal or spending plans. The level of Def1c1t spend1ng and 1nterest rates, the tools w1th wh1ch any government works, are to be controlled by Brussels. lt will follow that whatever one's personal opm1on of the Euro; it will be democratically intolerable to have no elected execut1ve to be held accountable for Europe's economy. The Situation for Britain is exaggerated by our sensitivity to interest rates in an economy where most possess a mortgage. There Will be a federal structure developed and outlined at the Intergovernmental Conference in 2004, hence Labour's promise of a referendum in the next 18 months. The wrong-headed economic fatalists who believe that shouting (sometimes literally) about 'missing boats' (I will not take up anymore of your letter page by l1sting the facts of this argument) would do better to address the political consequences of the 'Euro' . I do understand, however, why they w1ll not.

This argument needs to broaden and deepen . Let us not allow the argument on campus to stoop to the level of The Sun versus the Millbank fanatics . The upcom1ng referendum IS about much more than easy travel, being 'good Europeans' and, dare I say 1t, econom1cs. lt IS a cho1ce of two futures. We can be a free tradmg* (why stop at Turkey?) nation capable of forg1ng our own future, or a part of a federal Europe . Both are equally viable, but given the truth, I can guess which of these the people will choose and it will not be the sinking boat of European federalism. *Those rightly concerned about the future of free trade following the American steel tariffs would no doubt be aware that their introduction was aided by a weaken1ng Euro caus1ng the prospect of cheap European 1mports. And then there is Mittal .. .

Toby Matthews Political Secretary, UEA Conservative Students Vice Chairman, Norfolk and Suffolk Conservative Future

Box-office dud it's the one about the haunted house, isolated from the outside world by a thick , oppressive fog , with dark secrets and unspeakable horrors lurking behind every creaking door and under every staircase. it's the one with the children who converse with the dead, the mother who's descendmg slowly into madness, and the housekeeper who knows more than she 's letting on . The little g1rl, dressed in wh1te, stares unblinkmg into the darkness and lifts her arm to pomt. Somethmg is there, 1n the shadows, waiting and watching. "Look Mummy, " she whispers, "there? .. " The mother's eyes w1den and the terror grips her heart like an icy fist. The audience hold their breaths and squeeze the armrests tighter. Then it comes into shot. At first you're not sure what it 1s? .. it hovers above the characters, black and not of human form . Can it really be? .. the microphone boom? it's so out of focus that it takes a minute or so before you can tell but yes, 1t's the boom, on the screen -and it's ruining yet another Union Film.

Potentially, the UEA Film Society provides a valuable on -campus service- it's a pound or so less than the nearest cinema and 1t saves you taking that arduous bus JOurney to and from the city centre . But come on , people - the standard of presentation is, at present, pretty appalling. I'm no projectionist, but surely there are simple th1ngs that can be done to avo1d that unmtended 'interlude' halfway through 'Some Like lt Hot' while the reels are changed , con tinually out of focus pi cture 1n 'The Man Who Wasn 't There', and booms dropping daintily into shot during every other scene of 'The Others'. UEA's Film Soc1ety has to start mak1ng more of an effort - th is IS gett1ng beyond a JOke. You really can 't expect people to keep pay1ng for this kind of service. In the fight agamst the ever-grow1ng UCI monopoly, students need a Viable alternative - which, at the moment, the Film Soc1ety isn't providing.

Mike Perfect (EAS 1)

Road rage Around the Un1vers1ty there IS, and has been for some time, a real traff1c problem . lt has been made worse w1th the new hospital but much is to do with the Univers1ty. Is it the students swamping the area w1th cars? That can 'tbe true? Is 1t the staff all suddenly bringing in their cars? Why did things seem to

. . . ..

~

.

suddenly change about a year ago?

Up to a year ago the local area only seemed to jam up for 'special days' - Un1 Open Days, Arnvals Days and Congregations, and, of course, F1reworks in Earl ham Park. On Un1 'special days' the green areas around Waveney Terrace, and the children's Nursery were used, but as 1t was only a few times a year it was acceptable. Now every day is a jam up day w1th the 'Special Days mean1ng super jam-ups ! Every day the Waveney Terrace grass is awash with cars, and the Children's Nursery is an 1sland 1n a sea of metal.

What has changed to cause this problem? The closing of Colney Lane hasn't helped and is a cause of many problems. The new Hospital has caused many extra problems. But these started their effects 1n September 2001. The University started overflowing with cars long before that. What changed was UEA's parkmg policy. lt seems to have caused a mass1ve increase in car usage at the University. The reasons for th1s sudden increase in UEA parking needs to be analysed, and the mistakes made should be reversed.

The result of th1s change to UEA's parkmg pol1cy seems to be far more cars com1ng into the University, w1th long jams as they try to leave. The only way out for cars IS via the Bluebell Road, resulting in long trailing queues, pollution, and suffering for the local residents.

While the queues build up on Bluebell Road, other roads are suffering too. The Earlham Road seems to be one big jam in the mornings and evenings, while those commuters stuck in the jams are also clogging the side streets like George Borrow Road looking for ways to m1ss the Jams.

We all know that the new hospital has been part of the problem and I bel1eve, l1ke most people, that there should be a direct link to the new Hosp1tal and the Sc1ence Park from the A47 Southern By-pass.

What woolly minded th1nkmg 1n Liberal South Norfolk allowed the hosp1tal plans to be agreed Without 1t? Colney Lane should also be re-opened to all traff1c from the All and Newmarket Road until the Southern By-pass Iink has been built.

The University traffic should be able to leave the University past the Sportspark, directly onto the B 1108 Watton Road - with an improved junction.

That would mean there would be two ways off the University, and those who wish to go out on the Watton Road will not clog up the Fiveways roundabout.

The University should have a radical re-think of its Parkmg pol1cy, wh1ch should 1nvolve local residents and should involve the City Council. One idea is for the University to develop a Park and R1de scheme for their students and workers. They are probably doing all this so let us hear about it.

The University makes a brilliant cultural, and finanCial, contribution to the l1fe of Norwich and Norfolk. lt needs to solve this problem so that it can continue that contribution .

James ' Bert' Bremner (Norwich resident)

Parting shot I am very disappointed that the graduation ball is JUSt to be an expensive LCR, though it IS what I have come to expect from this university. Surely it would have been better to have had an outside event, wh1ch would have been much cheaper and enabled the entire th1rd year to participate in .

I also thmk that it IS ridiculous that Breakers 2, has been out of act1on for almost two years. Surely 1t would have been better to keep it going until plans to renovate had been dec1ded on? As without 1t we have been left w1th a useless canteen that has been voted one of the worst 1n the country.

Whilst I'm on the subject of moaning, I would also like to suggest that 1n the future the un1vers1ty should make all Incoming first years fill out a questionnaire to do w1th likes and dislikes. This way one can be placed in accommodation with peers who have a similar outlook on life. Speaking from experience I did not enjoy spending a first year with two very eccentric students and two mternational stu dents, who could not speak a word of Engl1sh .

Another concern IS the poor excuse for a med1cal centre. The staff there seem to be very rude and unconcerned about such unfortunate illness that students suffer from. I know of a friend who was diagnosed as having more sexual diseases then fmgers on his hand , when he's real illness was that of

The Event Editor Markland Stark1e Deputy Editors Will Halsey & Kat1e Hmd Assistant News Editor Liz Hutchmson Chief News Reporter Rebecca Lawrence Fashion Editor Kat Realff Sports Editor Alex Thorpe Chief Sport's Writer Jan1ne Azzan Picture Editor Ed Webb-lngall Cartoons Astrid Goldsm ith Advertising Manager El1n Jones Concrete

IS

publi shed by UUEAS Concrete Soc1ety

漏2001 Con cret e. ISSN 1351-2773 Letters should be addressed for the attent1on of the Ed1tor. Adam Chapman . Letters must mclud e contact details. but we w1ll cons1der ano nymous publtca!lon .

We reserve the nght to ed1t for length and clanty as neccessary. Opm1ons expressed are not necessanly those of the Publtsher or Ed1tor. Use of the name The Event IS by arrangement w1th the copynght holders. Planet Zog Ltd . No part of th1s newspaper may be reproduced through any means w1thout the express perm1ss1on of the Ed1tor. Pnnted by Eastern Count1es Newspapers.

glandular fever. They also lost his important medical test results.Furthermore, if the students union thinks that one repetitive event every Thursday along with the odd retro playing appalling 70s music is a social scene it is sadly mistaken. .-# But every cloud has a silver lining. I'm leav1ng 1n a few months time and have made some good friends but the university of East Anglia has not lived up to expectations.

J Croucher (HIS)

Mouthpiece: We survey UEA students on this fortnight's burning issues ...

Tax: Was Gordon Brown right to raise Nation Insurance contributions in order to fund the rehabilitaion of the NHS?

69% 31% YES

NO

Royal family: Following the death of the Queen Mother last month should Britain scrap the monarchy and become a republic?

49% 51% YES

NO

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Concrete WEDNESDAY, APRIL 24, 2002

21.

Panthers' mixed fortunes·

Cup final heartache Men's side victorious while ladies suffer cruel defeat in local cup finals for reserves UEA 57, Notre Dame 46 MEN's BASKETBALL:

· Once again a UEA football team has seen a cup final slip through its fingers on penalties.

The reserves looked to have broken the hoodoo with their Shoe Trade Cup victory last season, but the Norfolk Primary Cup was a step too far.

The result now means that UEA have lost in four of thetr last ftve cup finals, two of them on penalt ies.

As m last season 's Junior Cup fmal, UEA had the lead twice, only to end up on the losing side again .

Mark Champ missed a late penalty i n normal time , and Denmark Rangers, top of UEA Reserves' league, capitalised.

All of the first ten penalties were scored, but UEA missed their sixth and the cup went with it.

Derby win for women UEA's women's football team their joined many of colleagues for an easy win against Essex.

They clinched a 5-2 victory over the reds, and followed it up with the runners-up spot in the Callelafest in Spain.

At Essex the goalscorers were Amy Montalbano (2), Jenny Badger, Gemma Thomas and Kate Urwin .

In Spain, UEA lost in the plate final to Aston University in a penalty shoot out, continuing the torrid run for UEA in shoot outs.

JANINE AZ2AM Chief Sports Writer What seemed to have been an unsuccessful season for the UEA Men 's Basketba ll team has ended in glory.

After numerous brutal defeats the Panthers suffered in the BUSA League , they proved themselves a strong team .

Following a 57 :46 victory over the Notre Dame Men's team earlier this month , they were crowned Local League Cup Champions.

Notre Dame took a qu ick 7:2 lead, but the Panthers began to turn on the powerful momentum that brought them to the f inals. half time, Lambros By Stylianou sank two 3-p9inters and secured a 6-point lead .

Notre Dame tried hard to fight back in the second half, but failed , the UEA Panthers playing too convincingly.

Matje Janowicz was the star shooter with 18 points, closely followed by Dimitri Anassis .

Reuben Delgado and Jon

WOMEN'S BASKETBALL:

Keen ing both proved c ru c ial wtth excel lent ba ll control at the top of the key.

Coach Mark Westgate was very happy wtth the team 's performance: ' They fought hard and played as a team , they really deserve th is vi ctory,' he later commented.

Th is ts the f irst t ime that UEA has won the Loca l League Cup, with Notre Dame the dommant force for many years .

Dun ng the award ceremony, the umpire referee congratu lated UEA and commented, ' Both teams played at a very htgh level of basketball , they were consistent and confident, but most of all played fairly and wtth great team sp irit. ' UEA's Tr istin Robinson was awarded Most Valuable Player in light of his strong defensive presence and excellent rebounding throughout the game.

Next year they must defend their Cup Title and go on to prove themselves as convincingly !n the BUSA League.

UEA 49, Farr Formes 50

Prior to the men's match, the UEA women challenged the Farr Formes Eagles in their Local League Cup Final.

Throughout the match both UEA and the Eagles played extraordinary basketball , with only ever a one or two lead.

In the fourth quarter, the UEA Panthers established a 7 point lead and with only 5 minutes left on the clock, the victory was almost theirs.

However, the Eagles never gave up and started to play especially rough. The referee, giving the

Eagles the opportunity to equalise and then take the lead, called a dubi ous foul.

With only 3 seconds on the clock, UEA couldn ' t get a shot off, and the time ticked out with the final score

49-50.

Coach Mark Westgate said that the team had played the highest level of basketball he had ever seen.

Despite the loss , UEA's Anne Sesma was awarded Most Valuable Player with her consistency and ability to remain calm throughout the very nerve-racking game.

UEA score during the local cup final

C

I/I-411151111PIICf.SSIII

1 • 4 • 24 HOUR PIUCES START FROM U.tt

FREE FilM

WITH 1 HOUR PROCESSING (FROM £5.49)

SCORECARD RESULTS fOOTBAll Norfolk Junior Cup, Final: Holt United 5, Thorpe Rovers 2 (at Carrow Road).

Norfolk Primary Cup, Final: UEA Reserves 2, Denmark Rangers 2 - aet, Denmark w1n 6·5 on penalt1es (at Dereham Town) Rogers & Norton Business Houses league, Division 1: St Andrews A l. UEA 4: Earlham 2. UEA I; Easton 2, UEA 3.

Division One

PWDLFAPts 16 14 0 2 64 16 42 13 12 0 1 57 18 36 15 10 I 4 51 29 31 16 8 2 6 32 31 26 14 5 2 7 32 42 17 14 5 1 8 39 46 16 15 3 3 9 30 48 12 15 3 2 10 21 57 6' 16 1 1 14 I 7 56 4

UEA Earlham Saxon Eng Easton Sp1xworth Orayton Taverham Wensum Alb St Andrews A

F1ve pomts deducted

Division 2: UEA Reserves 2. Jarrolds 0; FC Denmark 0. UEA Reserves 4: Jub1lee I. UEA Reserves 3; UEA Reserves 4, Denmark Reserves 4; FC Denmark 4, UEA Reserves 5.

Division Two

Denmark Rgrs Cottage Rgrs Red Roofs UEA Reserves Jubilee Blof1eld Utd A FCDenmark Nch Un1on A Jarrolds Yelverton Tuddenham

P 14 19 18 14 17 17 18 17 18 15 17

W D L F A Pts 11 3 0 55 14 36 10 5 4 68 41 35 11 2 5 50 34 35 11 2 1 50 19 30 ' 6 2 9 39 45 20 6 1 10 34 52 19 6111437119 5 2 10 37 44 17 4 4 10 38 53 16 4 3 8 39 44 15 4 3 1D21 57 15

F1ve pomts deducted

Division 3: U A A 0, Shotesham Rovers 1: Sal house Rovers 4, UEA A 2; Marlborough OB 4, UEA A 2: UEA A 2.

South Walsham A 2.

Division Three

PWDLFAPts Earlham Bdgs 19 13 4 2 89 33 43 Little Melton 18 11 3 4 50 29 36 Avenl1s Eagles 16 11 1 4 60 34 34 Marlboro' OB I 7 9 3 5 37 30 30 Salhouse Rvrs 17 8 1 8 40 47 25 Shotesham Rvs 18 8 0 10 47 62 24

UEA A 18 Sth Walsham A 19 Nch United A 17 loddon Utd A 18 Easton Res 17

6 6 6 6 2

3 2 1 0 4

9 38 11 46 1D 39 12 28 11 24

40 72 53 46 52

21 20 19 18 10

RUGBY BUSA Men's Championship: Brunei 25, St Mary's 23 (at Twlckenham).

BUSA Women's Championship: Loughboro' 7, UWIC 23 (at Tw1ckenham)

HOCKEY

BUSA Men's Championship, Final: Exeter 1, Loughborough 5 (at M1lton Keynes).

BUSA Women's Championships, 1st round: Loughborough 8, UEA l. Final: Exeter 2. Loughborough 5 (at Milton Keynes).

Printwise Men's East League, Division

3NE: UEA 4, Harleston Ill 0. NO<Wich C1ty 11 5. UEA 11 0: Bury St Edmunds 11 1, UEA 3; UEA 11 2, Nch Un1on 11 3; Norw1ch Union 11 1, UEA 3, UEA 11 7, Holt HarleqUins 11 D; UEA 3, Holt Harlequtns 0: Lowestoft Town 3, UEA 11 4: Lowestoft Railway 0, UEA 7: UEA 11 8, Dereham 11 0; UEA 6, Pelican 11 3; Harleston V. UEA 11 0 Division Three North-East FINAL PWDLFAPts UEA 22 21 0 1 90 22 63 Bury 11 22 19 0 3 83 30 57 Nch C1ty 11 22 15 I 6 70 42 46 L'loft Ra1lway 22 13 I 8 56 40 40 Holt Hqns 22 11 3 8 55 45 36 Dereham 11 22 9 3 to 39 49 30 Nch Union 11 22 8 4 10 48 43 28 L'toft Tn 22 7 3 12 53 75 24 Harleston Ill 22 6 4 12 43 51 22 UEA 11 22 5 12 15 42 70 17 Pelicans 11 22 3 2 17 41 80 11 Holt Hqns 11 22 3 I 18 25 98 ID Division 5NE: UEA Ill 4, Norw1ch C1ty V 0: Norfolk Nomads l. UEA Ill 2: UEA Ill 3. Harleston VI 0; Bury St Edmunds IV I, UEA Ill D. Division Five North·East Fl NAL PWDLFAPts UEA Ill 16 11 3 2 45 15 36 Wilt ton 16 11 2 3 55 18 35 Bury IV 16 9 2 5 38 29 29 Nch C1ty V 15 7 2 6 38 35 23' Broadland Ill 16 7 1 8 28 46 22 Nfk Nomads 16 6 3 7 41 3D 21 Nch Un1on IV 15 5 4 6 15 28 19' Harleston VI 16 2 4 10 11 27 20 L'toft Ra1llll 16 2 1 13 13 53 7 •-

Includes vo1d f1xture

BADMINTON

BUSA Men's Championship: B~rmmgham 3, Loughborough 5.

BUSA Women's Championship: B~rm'ham 3. Loughborough 6.

BASKETBALL

BUSA Men's Championship: St Mark & St John 79, Oxford 78 BUSA Women's Championship: St Mark & St John 59. Loughborough 88 lACROSSE

BUSA Championship: Edinburgh 7, Loughborough 13.

NETBALL

BUSA Championship: UW Cardiff 37, 45.

B~rmmgham

SOU ASH

BUSA Men's Championship: UWIC 4, B~rmmgham 1 BUSA Women's Championship: UWIC 4, Cambr~dge 1 BUSA Men's Shield, lst rd: Le1cester 3, UEA 2 BUSA Women's Shield, 1st rd: Bath w/o, UEA scr

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BUSA Men's Championship: Middlesex 9, B~rmmgham 2 BUSA Women's Championship: Bath 3, UCL 6.

TENNIS

BUSA Men's Champtonship: Balh 2.

Loughborough 4 BUSA Women's Championship: Bath 4, Loughborough 2 AMERICAN FooTBALL

College Bowl XVI : Oxford Cava11ers 22, Loughborough Ace> 39 PEA Bowl 1: UEA Pirates 27. Essex Blades 12.

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.. 22

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Concrete WEDNESDAY, APR

24, 2002

Playoff-bound Canaries clinch place in style

Concrete 's hard-as-nails football column .. ...

Studs Up Dad?

Mulryne and Mackay give City the goals they need ALEX THORPE Sports Editor lt didn 't seem possible as they slumped to a 4 -0 defeat on

the

opening

day,

but

somehow Norwich City made Ru mours are emerg1 ng from Anfield that assistant Live rpoo l boss Phil Thompson is hid i ng a dubious past of il lic it affa irs 1ncl uding a love child. Commen tators are po inting to the remarkable sim i larity between Thom pson and 'Pool mid f ielder Dieta r Hamann . The suggest ion t hat Th om pson fathered Hamann in 197 3 , soon afte r both Th ompso n's debut again st Norwi ch and Liverpool' s UEFA Cup t riumph , appears to be based on little other t han a fac ial similarity, but Hamann did choose Live rpool ahead of Barce lona and Arsena l when he left Newcastle for £8m ..

Brentford attract A-1 ist Easter saw the news emerge t ha t Ca meron Dia z was a Brentford fan. lt appears the Holl ywood sta r, not often associ ated with cash-strapped lower-division Briti sh foot ball clubs, ha s been educated in t he wo rld of Griffin Park by former Bee s Director Dan Ta na, who own s a restau rant in Los Angele s. But Brentford fans appear non -p lu ssed by the revel ati on. Speaking before the sold-out promot 1on showdown wit h Read ing, one Bees fan sa id: " I wouldn 't swap my t icket for 90 minutes w1th Cameron." Sadl y, the 1-1 draw was n't enough, so Brentford fa ce the pain of the play-offs . The question is, wil l Cameron will f ly in for a Card iff final ? Er, no.

Quotes of the fortn ight " He's like a little George Best wit h his legs pumping" Bobby Robson describes United striker Lomano Tresor Lua Lua bad ly.

..

" Aiex Rae is my player of t he season. If that's what drin k, drugs an d gambling does to you, I want some of t hat !" A Wolves fa nzme editor ref lects on his oh-so-c lose team .

Gary Neville's Soapbox

it into the Division One playoffs by the skin of their teeth .

Malky Mackay's 7 4th minute header, co up led with Burn ley only scor i ng on ce agai n st Coven try, wa s enough to see City th rough by a goa l dif ference of one.

And w1th free -fall1ng Wolves next on the agenda fo r the Canaries, hopes are h1gh of a VISit to Cardiff's M1llenn1um Stadium on May 12.

Norw1ch will h1t the playoffs runn 1ng and unbeaten 1n seven games s1nce t he1r 1-0 home defeat to fell ow playoff hopeful s B1rmmgham C1ty.

Trinidad 1nternat1on al Stern John shrugged Craig Flem1n g off on the edge of the box and f1red under Rob Green to g1ve the Blues all three po1nts and supposedly end Norwi c h' s fa1nt hopes of a top-six fin1sh.

Hot on the heels of B1rm1ngham came Gill1ngham.

Cl1 nt Easton scored h1s f1rst goa l for Norw 1c h, and Darren Kenton turned the game around after Iffy Onoura's 17th mmute strike .

After a stalemate at Molineux agamst Wolves, C1ty returned home to beat Crystal Pala ce sti 11 in the playoff race themselves w1th f1rst half goals from Dav1d N1elsen and Paul McVeigh .

Then a Bank Hol1day trip to Bradford's Valley Parade looked to be head1ng for a dreary 0-0 draw, before Paul McVe1gh toepoked the ball over the keeper to g1ve C1ty a last gasp w1n.

Grimsby, battling with relega -

t10n. were th e next team to dea l a bl ow to he Cananes seaso n as Terry Cooke voll eyed home an m 1nute equal1ser to 8 3 rd Mackay's th 1rd m1nute goal.

Lu cki ly for Norw1 ch all the other top teams were also fall1ng over themselves to m1ss out, and as C1ty headed for Barnsley, they were well placed 111 seventh.

4000 Canaries fans made the trip to Oakwell as C1ty's nvals were pro lapsing elsewhere, and they chee red Norw1ch to a glonous 2-0 victory - the goals again com1ng from McVe1gh and Nielsen, who teamed up well 111 the absence of lwan Roberts.

"Gordon Brown 's budget displayed a rare return to socialist principles for he New Labour mach 1ne. But

My Favourite Match ... .

Germany 1-5 England 0 1/09/01

Will Ha/sey ' ' A lright, so it's an obvious one, and I was n't even t here, and everyone saw it and knows what happened , bu t some how, repea ting it all aga in j ust doesn 't seem to ma tte r. Everything from Ca rste·n Jancke r's opener, lead ing an atta ck of smugness in every Germa n, to Emile Heskey 's f ifth, the match was pe rfec t. As I said , I wasn 't actually in Muni ch, rather an Irish pub in West London full of drunk Irish bl okes chanting, " WHO KNOCKED THE DUTCH OUP WHO , WHO , WHO , WHO ... " They then proceeded to sit bac k to enjoy Engla nd 's relega t ion to the Playoffs. Not to be, lads. For me pe rsona ll y, th e ga me is somewh at mem ora bl e (or not, to be more prec 1se ) due to dri nk ing t hroughout the Irel and game, so by k1ck-off in Munich th1ngs were progressing nicely.

Like Thomas Lmke , I was see1ng two Michael Owen s th at nigh t.

I also screamed " Emile, yo u're j ust so big!" whenever Heskey got the ball which almost led to my arrest . But t hen Emil e slotted 111 number f1ve and everyone understood."

Got a favouri te match ? Email 200 words to su.concrete@uea.ac.uk $/.Jds Up

·o,.,p,rea b.' W•

Halsey

Marc Ltbbra tried to fill /wan Roberts ' shoes. but dtdn 'I score enough goals

Co upl ed w1th Burnley 's 3 - 1 de feat at Gri msby, it meant that Norw 1c h only had to score more goals aga1nst already relegated Stockport than the Clarets d1d against Coventry.

The last game could hardly have got off to a better start for Norw1ch , as Stockport 'keeper Andy D1bble handled outs1de h1s box only 43 seconds into the game.

As he headed for an early bath and 17 -year old James Spencer replaced h1m 111 goal, C1ty began to feel it was the1r day.

Mark R1vers went closest to break1ng the deadlock 1n the 17th mmute as h1s left-side free k1ck h1t the crossbar from 25 yards out.

McVe1gh forced a stunn1ng save from Spe ncer, and Mackay had a header well clea red before Phil Mulryne f1nally gave Norwich the lead .

Easton 's right w1ng corner was punched out by Spencer to th e North ern Irish m1df1elder who h1t a left foot volley 1nto the bottom corner through a crowd of bodies.

W1th Burnley and Birmingham stilI only drawmg City went 1n at half t1me 1n f1fth place, but it didn't last long.

Birmingham grabbed a lead 111 the 61st m111ute, and Burn ley took one of the1r own on the 68th, dropp 1ng C1ty out of the playoffs.

McVeigh, Niel sen and Mackay then all m1ssed gilt-edged chances to regain the in1t1ative for th e Canari es as the news fil tere d through t o the nervous watch1ng masses.

Luckil y for th e C1ty fan s, th ey didn 't have long to wa 1t be fore th ey co ul d ce lebrate agam.

Spe nce r la pped at an Easton corner and Mac kay had an easy unmarked hea der at the far post.

Mulryne an d Gary Halt had oppor un1lies to co nflfln th e pl ay· off place. bu t fou nd th e VI Si tors' goa lkeeper 1n Inspi red for m .

As the fin al wh1 stle wen t .

Ca nary eyes turned to Turf M oor where Paul Gasco1gne was l1n1 ng up his second free ki ck of InJUry li me.

There was a feeling that destiny would find in favour of the former England m1df1elder, but Magnus Hedman pulled off a spectacular save to keep Burnley at 1-0, and put City 1n the playoils for the f1rst time . lt has been a tru ly remarkable season for the Canaries. as N1gel Worth1ngton has moulded a team 1n h1s 1mage and pushed them harder han many of h1s predecessors.

He pulled no punches 111 cutmg away the dead wood , and rejuvenated underperform 1ng players l1ke Gary Holt.

The Scottish midf1elder, s1gned as Bryan Hamilton's last move . has knuckled down and sealed Player of the Year 111 his first full season at Carrow Road.

The next few weeks Will be tense for the Canaries but, as Worth1ngton has shown th1s sea son, Norwi ch will be giving their all to reach the Promised Land .

DIVI SION ONE W l

Mar. C1 /y

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PLAYOFFS April 28

Sunday,

NORWICH .

E' ·n ill

·:I< •• •. r.11 ;,•,a Wednesday. May 1

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, NORWICH

:2 r 4

Thursday. May 2 V H

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.---------------------------------------------------~--------------------------------------------------------------------------- -

Concrete

WEDNESDAY, A PRIL

Winning season the prize for battling Pirates ALEX THORPE Sports Editor

RESULTS

For the third time this season UEA again put Essex to the sword as the Blades' defense proved no match for the powerful Pirates offense.

But the game was marred by an injury to defensive tackle Dan Smith, who broke his leg in a freak accident while blocking during a punt return.

The pattern of the game was set in the first quarter, as the Blades couldn't get their offense

Essex Blades 12, UEA Pirates 27

moving before the power running of the P1rates led to the first score of the game.

UEA marched 73 yards in eight plays before Lucien Giordano crept in on the quarterback sneak to put the Pirates ahead.

The second quarter saw no score, but two quickfire touchdowns early in the second half gave the Pirates breathing room.

Donnie Cramer, in his first game under the center as a Pirate, hit Justin Bichler for a seven yard TD on the first drive of the quarter, then he rushed in to score himself from four yards.

The injury to Smith took some of the steam out of UEA's play, and Ado Cooper returned an interception of Giordano to get the Blades on the scoreboard.

Sean Abbot! returned the lead to 21 points, and lim Altomare completed the scoring for Essex by intercepting Giordano again and returning 62 yards.

So, a 27-12 win for the UEA results in them finishing the season over .500 having narrowly missed out on the playoffs.

Pirate eyes must now turn to the end of October, and their push for a playoff place in 2003.

23

UEA FC's SEASON

UEA cut through Blades defense with ease AMERICAN FOOTBALL:

-- - - --

SPORT

www.concrete-online.co.uk

24, 2002

--

UEA 's footballers in action this season

Footballers face up to season without silver ALEX THORPE Sports Editor IF UEA'S footballers end this season without any silverware it will be a remarkable comedown following last season's widespread glory.

Hopes were high after winning the Rogers and Nonon League Divi ion One and Two, and having clinched promotion to BUSA Midland-lA, but it was not to be.

It is without doubt that the deciion by the Anglian Combination not to admit UEA into their league was a big blow, and it forced the club into moving to the disorganised Midlands Universities League.

This move spread the team's resources too thinly, and with a weakened team in the Rogers and Nonon League. they lost the initiative over rivals Earlham.

Home and away 2- 1 defeats at Earlham School. adjacent to the UEA campus, looks to have given the title away with the greens having three easy games in hand to clinch the title.

Defeat at Halt in the Junior Cup semi-final was another painful blow to their hopes for a successful season. coming hot on the heels of Loughborough sealing BUSA relegation.

With promotion out of the question without a championship. UEA must now face up to another year in junior football.

1519 Taverham a R&Nl 7-1 2219 Sp1xworth h R&N 1 9-0 29/9 CNSOB a NJC 4-1 6/10 Saxon Eng h R&N 1 2-0 a R&Nl 2-1 13/10 Drayton 17/ 10 DMU (Beds) a BUSA 3-2 20110 SI Andrews A h R&N 1 1-0 h BUSA 1-1 24/10 Oxford 27/10 Watton Res h NJC 7-0 31/10 Nottmgham BUSA 1-3 3/11 Earlham R&N 1 1-2 h BUSA 1-5 7/11 Worcester 10/11 Saxon Eng a R&N 1 4-2 14/ 11 Loughboro' a BUSA 1-2 21/11 DMU (Beds) h BUSA 0- 1 24/11 Wensum Alb a R&N 1 5-0 28111 Oxford a BUSA 1-2 1/12 Drayton h R&Nl 4-1 8112 Gayton Utd h NJC laD 15112 Gayton Utd NJC 5-3 NJCQF 3-0 19/1 Hmdringham 26/1 Easton R&N 1 9-3 30/1 Nottingham BUSA 0-5 212 Wensum Alb R&N 1 3-1 612 Worcester a BUSA scr 912 Taverham h R&N 1 5-0 13/2 Loughboro' h BUSA 0-1 16/2 Holt Umted a NJCSF 0-3 23/2 Sp•xworth a R&N 1 4-0 213 SI Andrews A a R&N 1 4-1 9/3 Earl ham a R&N 1 1-2 16/3 Easton a R&N 1 3-2 KEY: NJC - Norfolk Junior Cup, R&Nl Rogers & Norton League D•v•s•on One, BUSA - BUSA Midlands-lA.

TABLES

BUSA Midlands-lA PWDLFAPts Loughboro 10 9 0 1 22 10 27 Nottmgham · 9 6 1 2 27 11 19 Worcester 9 4 0 5 15 21 12 DMU (Bed) 10 3 2 5 23 22 11 Oxford 10 3 2 5 17 26 11 UEA 10 1 1 8 39 46 1*

• - Deducted 3 pomts Rogers and Norton Leaeue, Division One PWDLFAP!s UEA 16 14 0 2 64 16 42 Earlham 13 12 0 1 57 18 36 Saxon Eng 15 10 1 4 51 29 31 Easton 16 8 2 6 32 31 26 Spixworth 14 5 2 7 32 42 17 Drayton 14 5 1 8 39 46 16 Taverham 15 3 3 9 30 48 12 Wensum A 15 3 2 10 21 57 6* SI Andrews 16 1 1 14 17 56 4

• - F1ve points deducted Eartham's Run-In: Sp1xworth (a), Saxon Eng (h), Drayton (h).

• OPEN 24 HOURS A DAY 7 DAYS A WEEK

Record trophy haul for UEA bowlers NEIL FERRIS UEA's ten-pin bowling club scored their best ever trophy haul to kick-start their end of season run-in at the London Quads tournament in Tolworth.

Following a stuttering start to 2002 which saw them progress to the latter stages of only one tournament, it is a fillip that coul d see more success on the horizon.

The tournament was split into a SIX game f1rst round, w1th the top four teams of total handicap p1n-fall gomg through to a three game f1nal round .

On lanes that have y1elded

good success for UEA 1n the past, both UEA teams showed their intentions from the start.

In the B squad, Victoria Sutton and Enc Sills set the early pace w1th scores of 197 and 170 respectively, puttmg the B squad in first place overall after three games, albeit by only two pins.

A disappointing first series for the A sq uad left them langu1shmg 1n sixth place, with the only highlight bemg a 191 from Stuart G1bson.

But three games over 230 on the way to a 714 senes helped Gareth Salaam to the highest scratch game and scratch series for the day and propelled the A squad to f1rst place and certam qual1f1cat1on.

The B squad though , was still pushing them close, a 193 from Nell Ferris and a 184 from Matt Parker giving them second place go1ng mto the final round.

Home s1de London h1t top form, though, and an 854 handicap senes sent them into second place just behind UEA A. The B squad were kept busy keep1 ng fourth-placed Liverpool at bay by ten p1ns, but fatigue set 1n for the A squad.

London cemented the1r lead, and a 197 from Salaam was not enough to snatch the win.

Nevertheless. w1th Sutton and Bnan Jepson also p1ck1ng up 1nd1v1dual awards along w1th Salaam, UEA walked away w1th over half the trophies available .

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UEA put home sides to the sword with ease Mum-SPORT DERB Y DAY: Essex 2, UEA 9 ALEX THORPE

Sports Editor

Once again the sports teams of Essex University proved no match for UEA's strength in depth across a wide range of sports.

The U EA's sports teams did t heir university proud as th ey

ensured that the title 'Pride of East Anglia' remained in Norwich for at least another 12 mon th s.

Just as in last year's Derby, UEA were rarely troubled by the teams that ply their trade in the South Eastern section of BUSA. In all but two of the sports competing on the day in Essex,

UEA claimed victory with consummate ease.

Even teams that have had a less than successful season managed to pull off results, and the win was wrapped up well before the american footballers - the last team to finish because of injury- had claimed their prize.

Only rock climbi ng and ten-pin

bowling failed to get a win on the board for UEA, but their slip-ups were only a minor blip on the radar as the nine other sports competing completed an easy win over UEA's rivals from the south. â&#x20AC;˘ IN THE NEXT issue of Concrete we wi ll be reviewing the seasons of the UEA's BUSA sports teams.

Donnie Cramer takes the accolades for a solid first Pirates game at quarterback (above), while the men 's hockey seconds look on during their shoo tout victory

Got a sports story? Contact us at su.concrete@uea.ac.uk

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Solution #29

There's a ÂŁ10 voucher from campus bookshop Waterstones up for grabs for completion of the crossword. Simply fill in your name, contact number or email address below and pop it with the completed grid in the Concrete office upstairs in Union House by May 3.

Name ............ ... .......... ................ ...... .

School ........... ................................. .

1

Contact no: ....................................... .

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Winner #29: Kara Falrchlld (EAS)