Concrete issue 162 10 03 2004

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www.bamuk.com

News Editor GRADUATION this year clashes with an annual conference for more than 10,000

.. .,no,van's Witnesses being held at Carrow Road football ground.

The 10,000 people will be descending on Norwich just as frtends and families of those graduating will be trying to get hotel rooms In the city.

According to the Norwich Tourlst Information, the month of July has been a busy time In previous years, when the rm'lfPrP,,r,. and the graduation do not clash. convention normally means that the City's hotel and bed and breakfast rooms are fully booked on the Friday and Saturday and also everywhere In an eight to ten mile radius. The conference Is at the same time as every year, but the UEA has moved the dates of graduation In 2004.

In the opinion of Tourist Information staff, "it is doubly difficult having both at the same time ... very, very difficult."

So with this for rooms there

will be problems. Worse, it appears Jehovah's Witnesses could be the preferred clients; one B&B owner told Concrete, 'We'd always rather have Jehovah's Witnesses than graduation parents. With Jehovah's Witnesses, once they're in, they're in; parents tend to mess us around" Jeff Skipper from the Norwich Tourism Agency explained that most people will already have to call several places In order to get a booking, and he advises people to book as soon as possible. Details rooms available can be found at www.vlsitnorwich.co .uk and Norwich Tourist Information can be contacted on Norwich 727-927.

Fiona Pac-Soo, speaking on behalf of the UEA said "UEA has been very successful In recent years and student numbers have grown substantially. As a result of this, the examination and marking period has extended, which has In turn meant congregation has had to be scheduled for a week later to allow sufficient time The timetable will be reviewed

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News

Co.crete Wedn esday, March 10, 2004

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• With the building work begun, the noise can only get in the way of people's studies THE building of a six storey extension t o · the south e ast side of UEA's library is currently taking place.

Work s tarted in the new

year in orde r to m ain tai n UEA's pos ition as a leading academic a nd research institute. and Ms Jean S teward. the Director of Information Services told Concrete that s he was delighted with the progress so far.

ON March 19, the annual Club and Societies Award Ceremony will take place , with a ll c lubs, s ocieties and union representatives invited to celebrate the many achievements of t his year.

Students can nominate those w ho they believe s hould receive the a wards.

Nomi n a tion forms can be found in Rabb it at Union Hose Reception and on the Union website.

The categories are: Service to Sport/ Societies: For those individuals who have s hown particularly outommitment to s tanding their club/soc whil e they have been at the UEA. Se rvice t o t he Union: Fo r individuals who have s hown outstanding commitment to repre enting s tudents, campaigns or other aspects of the Union's activities.

Sports Team of t h e Year:

For th e team tha t h as achieved excellen ce this year Progress Shield: For the club which h a s developed the mos t this year.

Society of the Year: For th e s ociety which has been cons istently ac tive. uccess ful and has en ou raged s tud e nt involve m e nt U1 roughout.

Cl ub/Society out s t anding achievement: Seve ral award wi ll be given to tho e clubs and socs who have s hown outstanding achievement in any of the followin g a reas : Student participation, running event . involvement with other clubs and socs, p rogress and development; commitlee organisation All nominations must be re turned to Union House by 17: 00 hrs. Tuesday, March 16. For mo re information. contact Amy Harris on u .fman ce@uea .ac. uk .

SALLY WAIN - HEAPY

Purpose - built accom moda tion is being constructed to hou se the 24 hour IT cen tre a nd it wi ll contain im p roved lighting. h eatin g and ai r cooling facilities. The Sch ool of Nu rsery and Midwi fery is due to move to a new building at UEA. so additional space will be provid ed to incorporate Hellesdon Nursing Library. A proposal has also been submitted to the Higher Education Funding Council to refurbish the existing library and through 2005 hopefully flooring, ceilings. lighting and heating will be replaced . Through the extens ion more reader spaces and three group study rooms will also be created.

However. some students are concerned with the noise generated by building work.

SOC 2 student Emily said.

"At the moment I don't like

Snooker room to go?

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Page 1 -1 1: Urba gends Page 12: How overweight are you.

Page 13: Travel to Peru Page 14: Concrete Comment Page 15:

elsewhere if they fmd the building work dis ruptive.

From mid - March s ome staff will be relocated and it is hoped that the building work will be comple ted in Novembe r of this year. Afte r this poin t th e movi n g of

eq u ipment and books wi ll ta ke place . Stude nts a re advi ed to keep upda ted with the progress of the library developmen t by looking at the information , photos and plans available in the foyer of the library.

s Ipswich campus plans drawn up and Ipswich College to be relocated ALYSSA MORRISEY

BLUEPRINTS h ave been propos e d for a new univers ity t o be built in Ipswich at t h e c urrent site of Suffolk College , as part of the governmen t's plans t o get 500Al of s chool leavers t o go to university.

A signifl ant part of the project involves the relocation of th S uffolk College ca mpus from its cu rrent location to the s ites of the county council's social care and resource mana ge m ent

Inside Concrete his Wee Page 2: Plans to expand library with noisy consequences Page 4: tuden s left with ut degrees Page 6: Fines over UEA pool drowning Page 7: LCRrefurbishment Page 8:

wo rking in the lib ra ry as there is a constant drilling noise. which m akes con centration difficult".

Ms Steward has commented th at th e library h as received no com pla in ts so far and that the m ajority of stu dents have been kind and understanding about the necessary building work.

Sarah Lancaster (LAW). told Concrete that she hadn't noticed any negative effects from the building work and that she is more disrupted by the noise coming from outside the library.

Students are warned to expect a lot of noise over the next few weeks as concrete drilling and d raining will be taking place. Scaffolding will also go up on the Suffolk walk side of the library and libra ry staff members have advised students to adjust working times or to study

The Enquirer Page 16: ash ion Page 17: Fancy Spee way?

P ge 18: Show jumping Page 19: UEA hockey Page 20: American football and the crossword.

departme nts. the social cl ub. and their staff car parks.

The project has been separa ted into four phases fo r building on six town centre ite . including the greater part of the urren t Suffolk College campus. its a djacent car park, and the waterfront and dock areas. Roadworks on th e s treets immed ia tely surro unding th e area will also comm nee, to ease traffic fl ow. lt is plarmed that town ce ntre s ites will house uni ver ity schools of b usiness, ed ucation , health , the arts and a gra duate school. The univers ity will also accommod a te up to 5000 s tud ents, and hopes to ope n for its flrst set of stude nts in Autumn

2 007.

Several steps toward the funding of the proj ect have been underway, making the dream of bringing Suffolk county to the centre of hjgher educa tion in England cl er to reality. Ips wich 's Labour MP Chris Mole continues to write to the government to campaign for s upport for the new uruversity proj ec t befo re a n a tio nal decision on the project is made in just a few months.

UEA and the University of Essex in Colchester, who bo th validate degrees in Su ffolk have bee n in talks with inte rested parties to s u pport a dec ision on fmance for the project, which will be d ecide d by the High er

Education Funding Cou ncil (HEFC) in Ju ly.

UEA Spokeswoman Liz Hutchinson explained that "there is cu rrently no money on the table for b uildings, staff and tea ching costs. As a result, thjs is a long-term project wi th no in1mediate pros pect of determining a likely opening date. " The proj et itself is eo ted a t n ea rly £3.3 billion, with the flrs t two phases expected to total a t £1 20m. Mr. Mole has called for a meeting on fund ing d e i ions in April for Vice-Chancellors and professors of the University of Essex and the UEA as well as other key players in support of the project.

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c..a..te Wednesday, March 10. 2004

News

CHANGES CAUSI Ci TRO BLE Complaints about treatment on University Senate, while questions are asked about school closures THOM SMITH News Editor

STUDENTS and t he Union appear to b e unhappy with the representation of opinion about the restructuring of the UEA available at the last University Senate meeting.

The Senate met on Wednesday, March 3 , with student representatives wishing to debate the proposed changes to the school structures and also the possible closure of LLT and Drama. However, the meeting was apparen tly run with lit tle opportunity to give opinions and m ake views c lear.

According to the Un ion Academic Officer. Miss Sara h Gurney, the meeting was ini tially run with the restructuring subject talked about

as little as possible. "After la l few people spoke" s h e said.

'The Vice C hancellor called for the m eeting to move on without a vo te. Wh e n I called for a vote. the vote was a cold vote - with no discussion of what was being voted for. " She continued saying. "I don't think that there was anywhere to put forward our grievances, and , because the re was no discussion. our votes against the proposals s imply looked like we were being difficult. " When asked how the meeting was run , she said that when the mee ting was over. "m e and Beck Smith spoke to the Vice Chan cellor. What he said to us gave the impression tha t h e had run the m eeting in a way that would reduce the risk to his plans. I got the impression that the proposals were forced

through ..."

Mr Alan Preece. the UEA's director of Communications said in a statement to Concrete that "Senate voted by a s ignificant m ajority to recommend to Cou ncil that the university establish a four faculty structure ... There has been extensive consultation. over the past eighteen months . on the broad principles of restructuring a nd the re have been many opportunities for student rep resentatives and staff to offer their views" It is not jus t the restructuring that is raising con cern h owever. The threatened closure of Drama and LLT which was reported in the last issue of Concrete has raised questions and tempers. It appears that the accounts of the two depart-

UNIVERSITY ASSEMBLY CONDEMNS TOP-UP-FEES The meeting of the University Assembly that took place on February 25 passed a m o tion c o ndemning t o p-up-fees.

Dr Neil MacMaster of SOC spoke first. passionately call-

ing for adequate funding for Britain's universities. but just as passionately opposed making students carry the burden of supplying that funding . Dr Rupert Read spoke next urging the gov-

ernmenl "to withdraw its proposals for lop- up fees.

Our local MPs and all in Parliament shou ld at the very least abandon the variability aspect of the proposed 'top-up fees'.

TlEMIIIIlll#lf OPal TO 1WO N!il.QIIOII'S: 1..11AHD 20-21 YW CI..DS. Cl.09IIG Dm Fill BiliiE5 IS APRI. 311, 2IOl

ments wiU only be released to students a week before the meeting which will decide their fate. According to Miss Gurney: 'The informa tion regarding Drama and LLT wiU be given out on the Wednesday before the senate meeting the fol lowing week. That gives one week - less really because of the weekend - to find out what's going on. We asked for the information formally. and we are writing a proposal with our grievances - it is necessary to know the information so that stude nts know if their ideas wiU actu ally work."

Whe n asked whether there are any suggestions that might allow the schools continu e their operations, Miss Gurney said; 'Working parties h ave been formed in both drama and

LLT, and certainly in Drama it looks as if there are alternatives."

There have also been more questions raised as to the reasoning behind the closure of LLT and Drama .

Accounting questions. where it has been suggested that because Drama takes up more floor space in the University than other courses of its size. it is charged more than it should be in university rents have been debated for a while, but it is also suspected that there are other schools and sectors that may be being s upported by the UEA, d espite the University not wishing to s ubsidise languages or drama. If so, this would raise questions as to why these courses have been singled out.

Mr Preece said that "effec-

lively the fmancial situation of Schools and units and their forecast for future income and expenditure is kept under regular review.

1ltis means that it is possible for the University to invest where there may be shortterm deficits against the prospect of a School or unit generating surpluses in the future."

Mr Preece continued saying that it appears there is little chance of this being the case for drama a nd LLT. "Regrettably both LLT and Drama are in situations where they have received support for several years but where the outlook for additional income from research. teaching or other sources makes it unlikely that they will be able to become fman cially viable in the foreseeable future"

PASS 0 FAIL?

boycott of assessmen t is causing problems accross the country. In

the universities of Aberystwyth.

Leeds, Loughborough and Reading. already there are exams that have been indefmitely postponed. and With 500 members of the AUT at UEA. there are fears that Norwich's students could be hit by disruption and, possibly some may not be able to graduate. as their work will not have been assessed.

More than 80% of the AlJI"s membership voted in favour of this "action short of a strike". and the National Un ion of Students ( US) continues to support the AUT. dPspite the actions of the AUT "now impacting directly on students".

According to the AUT. their

University Council House at seven o'clock on Tuesday, March 2 .

The first main item on the agenda was the future of thP snooker room and Nexus TV studio in Union House. Of the three possibilities put to council it was decided that it would be best to leave the upstairs of the Union as it is.

Reports were made to co uncil about lhe UEA's learning and teaching quality committee meeting. the UEA's environme ntal working group and the recycling trial. UtUe was said about the ftrsl a nd second. The recycling trial was debated at moire length . and details of the trial can be found on

page.

Consideration was then given to the executive committees actions over the previous weeks This led into a lengthy discussion of the restructuring of the UEA and the future of Drama and LLT at this university. lt was decided that Union Council was in favour of languages being taught at University level. and acknowledged that tl1ere would be further information about the drama situation at the next meeting.

When it can1e to restructuring it was decided that there was not enough information available to students. but council was generally against the changes. and this decision would be p ut to

The Association of University Teachers went on strike two weeks ago.

But since the first of march, members of the Union have been boycotting the assessment of students' work.

The disruption from the strik es at UEA was mild. as it was reading week. but at other Universities accross the country. there were serious problems. According to Gair Rhydd. Cardiff universi ty student newspaper. most of the teaching would be affected. and the main hPad"U niversity

aim is simply to get their

members' em ployers - the universities. represented by the UCEA Sally Hunt. the AlJI"s general secretary explained that the members of the union are "doing this nol because they want to hurt students. but because they have no choice."

The NUS has pledged that it wiU "continue to support their lecturers' industrial action. despite it now impacting direclly on students. While this continued action is going to be painful for students. NUS support the lecturers路 right to take action on variable pay".

the uni\ersity senate the follmving day.

The US regional conference and the AGM of N S Services Lttl (NUSSL) were considered. and il was agreed that th芦" two resolutions put forward (that more time should be given to universities to formulate resolutions and that any links between STA uavel and Burn1a should be investigated) were acceptable.

After notes made by the finance officer. it was agreed to postpone the discussion of the Union 's banking arrangements and the possibility of ethical investment until a future meeting.

...

crete Wednesda\', March 10. 200-'

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www.concrete-online.co.uk

Got a story? Email us at su.concrete@uea.ac.uk The UEA Sportspark is fined for Health and Safety infringements after man dies in pool THOM SMITH News Editor UEA WAS forced to pay o ut over £ 11 ,000 in fin e s and cost s follo wing a man's death in the Sportspark pool.

On Sept<'ml><'r 5 last \'l'ar Mr Simon Land. 33. ol Tacolneston had been with friends at the Sportspark when he was seen on the hot tom of the pool with only one life~uard by the water. Mr Land was pu lled out of the pool and ~iven resuscitation. but was pronounced braindead five days later. The UEA has changed its policy. and now has two or more lifeguards on the poolside a t all times.

The University has s ince been prosecu ted under section 33 of th e Health and Safety at Work Act 1974. Mr Geoff Kni pe . p rosec uting. said that it was a risk assessm e n t d a tin g from 2 002

which allowed the provision of only one lifeguard when there were fewer than 15 people in the pool and they appeared to be strong swim mns . The defence acknowledged that the risk assessm<'nt was inaccurate . Mr Knipe further said that the pool should have signs around it askin~ people to inform the life~uards of any medical conditions.

Mr Knipe said that though Mr Land s u ffered from epilepsy it was unknown whether this was a factor in his death. as he was known to spend time on the pool bottom. timing how long he could stay under the water.

Mr !an Mayers. in mitigation for the UEA. said that the decision to only have one ltfeguard at the wa ter's edge was not down to cost cu tting, and there were a to tal of three gua rds on du ty. He also s ugges ted tha t s ign s by

the poolside would be counter-productive . as the lifeguards might be inundated with "people telling them all

sorts of things. like the common cold. which lifeguards do not need to know about."

This , he argued. would dis-

tract the lifeguards from their job of watc h ing for problems in the pool.

The Un iversity was fined

Pic tu re: Th e UEA Sportspark swimming pool

UNION BYELECTIONS

RECYCLING RELAUNCH FOR NORFOLK TERRACE PAUL VIN CENT Deputy News Editor THE recycling trial taking place in Norfolk Terrace is achieving very poor results, leading the Union t o re-launch an awareness c ampaign.

Union Cou ncil h eard th at "there is an urgen t need to ge t s tud e nts to u se th e scheme properly". The Union En vironme nt offi ce r. Ru th Cole. has e- m ailed all res iden ts of Norfolk Terrace indicating that "the trial is going very badly. with only four

bins out of forty a ccep table for recycling". This is a rough estima te b ut does reveal the scale ofth e problem .

Th e m a in problem s a re ign oran ce of wh a t exactly can be recycled , confus ion over the acceptable level of conta mi nation and a lack of capacity for non- recyclable was te. now th at there is only one bin of th is type in each fiat taking part in the tria l.

The latter point h as led to residents using the recycle bin as a second rubbish bin on e the first is filled. clearly preventing the contents of

£3.500 for providing an inadequate risk assessment. and ordered to pay £7.553 in costs .

A statement from the UEA said that the Sportspark has a good safety record.

The UEA said in a state ment that it has taken the prosecution "extremely seriously and has co-operated fully \vith the Health and Safety Executive throughout their investigation".

The statement confirmed that there had been changes made where necessary to safety policy. but "we will never know what happened to cau se di ffi c ulties fo r a strong swimmer like Mr Land. Trained lifeguards provided immed ia te med ical ass istance at the pools ide and did their utmost to save h im ."

this b in from ever being recycled.

In ord er to clartfy what can be recycled.

Unio n Commun ications officer Ned Glas ier h as designed new poste rs for the Oats concerned th at indicate more clearly wh ich items should be recycled. Miss Cole said tha t s he doesn' t "believe this is a qu estion of student apathy . it's more a question of confusion due to the rushed nature of the scheme being introduced".

To further inform international students. multilingual signs are bein~ considered. or illustrated notices.

In a desperate attempt to incite students to use the scheme properly. the Union has offe red a genero u s reward in the form of ents tickets for all those living in the fiat with the best recycling record, as announced in this week's Rabbit.

To ensure that you can qualify. only clean paper and cardboard. steel and al u minium cans. plastic bottles, newspa pers and magazines and books and phone books s hould be recycled .

All m a teria l must be clean ed as mu ch as possible. within reason .

There have been further problems with the computer network on campus, with a large number of viruses infecting computers and the service being reduced.

Acco rding to a n e- m a il from Mr Greg NewtonIngh am, th e d irector of Web .

Learning and Network services. "one of the major cul pri ts was traced to a Denial of Service attack. or massive virus infection attempt being launched from offsite."

Apparently. the attack was launched from a service provider in China with the network code 139.223.0.0.

The UEA uses network s pace adjacent to it at 139.222.0.0. an d it is thought that the virus is trying to spread to new hos ts. In an attemp t to stop th e damage. the UEA wi ll be bloc king all packets of

informa tion fro m that network s pace. This will of course m ean that legitima te traffi c will also be blocked .

Once a fu ll firewall is in service. th e b loc k will be removed.

Mean while th e scannin g system for e-mail d oes n ot a ppea r to be as effective as was hoped. According to a ge nera l c-mail se nt to s tu dents on March 3 . the mail gateway that was scan ning for viruses was overwhelmed with trafnc. and. to avoid delay and confusion. the excess was diverted to a nonscanning gateway. which would still allow viruses through.

All e-mail users are ad vised to check for viruses carefully when dealing with their mail.

Below: Centre

24hr

Computer

BY-ELECTIONS for the posts of Environment Officer, Liberations Office r and Societies Officer will be held on Thursday, Marc h 17, with a second question-time on Marc h 15.

Th e candidates have been annou nced by the Un ion of UEA S tudents, with candi dates fo r all the avai lable positions which we re not fi lled at the general Union election held last week .

There will also be an election to ensure tha t th e Union sends a fu ll delegation to the NUS National Conference in week 12.

THE CANDIDATES ARE: Environment Officer: Laura Mayhew Steve Williams Ben Meaker Elena Rivilla Lutterkort Andy Higson Liberations Officer: Frances Stapleton Societies Officer: K Rahman (Shah) NUS Conference gation:

Matthew Sparkes Beck Smith Andy Higson Rowena Boddington Daniel Connor.

Dele-

__, Cotcntt Wednesday, March 10, 2004

Page 7

News

NORFOLK 'N' ANSWER? Despite the Council's best attempts, no-one seems to want to suggest Norfolk's future .•• THOM SMITH News Editor

IT SEEMS that people living in Norfolk do n ot want to be consulted on the future of their co unty. Less than 200 people have responded t o the biggest ever consultation exercise t h e county has ever seen.

More than 21,000 colourful postcards ask1ng each Norfolk citizen what they want to see happen here over the next 20 years have been sent out by Norfolk County

only had 129 sent back, along with 47 emails.

This response rate of just 0.6 per cent. Is somewhat d.isappotnting for the Your Norfolk.

Your Say project, launched about six weeks ago.

The whole project is set to cost the council £10.000, but this may rise if the freepost postcards. tapes and pictures do come in to County Hall. and the date for replies has been extended to April 30. in an attempt to boost the response. However. the

BANANAS By in t e rrup ting people's coffee breaks in the Hive this Monday with the appearance of some anthropomorphic bananas the Fairtrade Funkathon had pulled the latest stunt in their increasingly surreal advertising campaign.

Alex Parker. Dev, 3 from BFG or the Big Fair-trade Group explatned that the bananas were there to represent a "funky fair fun message for Fair Trade which gives justice to the workers harvesting the product. " Banana Ltnk. who organised the stunt are a "small notfor -profit campaign organisation" whose performers

refused to speak but ambiguously potnted at thetr spokesman and frolicked around.

information gathered from the 0.6% has been useful. according to John Alston. chairman of the Norfolk County Strategic Partnership Board. said: "I am pleased with the response to Your Norfolk. Your Say so far ...

The comments we have already had back have been brilliant. creative and thought-provoktng. It Is gainIng momentum and more responses are comtng every day."

"Many small groups do not have regular meetings. so at

thetr request we have extended the clostng date to April 30 so that everyone can take part."

The 21.000 postcards have been sent out to bustnesses, organisations libraries. schools and parish. district and town councils. In addition, 350 more detailed information pack have been sent out to organisations which reque led them.

The information people send Is up to them. the council merely wants to know how people sec orfolk and what

they would like to be trnproved. There arew several versions of the postcard. each bears colourful Images synonymous with Norfolk. tncludtng a wtndrnill. a sunset. a turkey. the Forum.

Nelson.

Boudlcca and Myleene Klass of Gorleston.

To have your say. log on to www.norfolkambition.gov. uk to fill In an onllne postcard. or write to FREEPOST. Norfolk Ambition. Norfolk County Council. County Hall.

Martineau Lane, Norwich.

PARKINCi, RESIDENCES AND TROUBLE Norwich City Council's planning committee h ad to deal with a row over parking while they we re debating the expansion of campus accommodation Phase 2 of the Waveney Terrace halls of residence development at the UEA was approved by members of the committee, but only after a debate about the parktng situation. This will see the significant expansion of the accommodation available on campus, and a massive tncrease tn the building work tn the area.

Mr Rory Qutnn argued that the UEA should pay for sur-

permits, which had been trnposed tn a bid to prevent students parktng In places such as Bluebell Road.

Mr Qutnn argued that the controlled parktng zone was penallstng people living In

the streets surrounding the UEA's campus Last month. local paper the Norwich Evening News reported how the university hopes to build a multi-storey car park tripltng the number of spaces to 1. 772.

However, the local residents have been complatnlng about UEAs parktng arrangements for some time now. In particular they are concerned that since the new park1ng charges and reduction tn the permit system came tn to operation. students have been forced to park tn the roads around the UEA tnstead of tn the car-park.

ROADWORKS AHEAD FUN WALK CHARITY

THOM SMITH News Editor

MASSIVE changes may be made to No rwich's t r ansport syste m t o cut down levels of air p ollu tion.

Three areas of the city have been highlighted where the air quallty Is below government standards. As a result, Norwich City Council now has until June to come up with an action plan to decrease pollution levels tn Castle Meadow, St Augustine's Street and Grapes Hill.

The matn problem is identified and the release of nitrogen oxides from vehicles.

This may con tribu te to respi-

ratory diseases such as asthma. and indeed one City Councillor, Mr Gordon Dean. has said that the numbers of children suffering from asthma has gone up to as high as 200A> tn recent years.

Plans that are betng considered tnclude a reduction of traffic flow by about 20% along St Augustine's; a reduction of 40% down Grapes Hill, and Improving the busses that use the Castle Meadow bus stop, maktng them more envtronmentally friendly.

Cllr Dean said 'We need to try and get the levels down because we are tn breach of guideltnes set by the

Government. One suggestion is banning old buses from Castle Meadow. but this is still tn the formative stages and will need to be discussed further."

Reductng the number of cars queuing on the city's roads was also considered, one suggestion of how to achieve this includes removing northbound traffic on St Augustine's Street, d.iverttng it to Oak Street and turning St Augustine's tnto a two lane southbound route.

Another Is Increasing the Grapes Hill approach to the Chapelfield roundabout from two lanes to three lanes. A final action plan needs to be

s ubmitted to the Department for Environment. Food and Rural Affatrs by June 2004.

Cllr Dean has said "I am not tn favour of the Grapes Hill suggestion as the Chapelfield roundabout is already workIng at capacity. We have Identified the problem and put forward a detailed strategy. We want to make it easier for people to walk and cycle tn the city and trnprove public transport thereby decreastng the need for cars tn the tnner ring road. Park and rides are one solution we are really pushtng along with environmentally friendly fuels."

ON SUNDAY May 16, there will be a charit y fun walk, comprising three two mile laps of the University Broad and t h e surrounding area.

The walk Is betng run by the Rotary Club of Norwich St Edmund and Is to benefit the St John's Ambulance. the East Angllan Air Ambulance and the Big ·c· Cancer Appeal.

Anyone wishtng to take part tn this walk can get sponsorship forms at the UEA's careers centre. Union House Reception and the Registry Recep tion.There will be prizes for the best fancy dress and the best fun hat.

MAN CHARGED WITH MURDER A MAN has been c harged with t h e m urd e r which took place n ear the Village last Septemb er.

Mr Justin Forrest. who lived In West Earlham. was attacked after an argument on September 4. 2003 In Rocktngham road near the University Village. He suffered evere head tnjuries and died tn Addenbrookes Hospital. Cambridge ten days later.

Mr Daniel James Markhan1.

19 years old. of no fixed abode has been charged with the murder and was due to go before magistrates on Thursday. March 4.

ATTACK IN KEBAB HOUSE POLICE are looking for witnesses after a man was attacked outside a pizza and kebab house on Prince of Wales Road in the early hours of Friday March 5.

The attack happened at about 2:20am. and the victim received severe head injuries. lie wa taken to the Norfolk and orwich Unlver lty Hospital. before being transferred to Addenbrookes' Cambridge.

His situation was described as serious but stable.

D.!. Richard Graveltng of Norfolk CID explatned that the area was busy at the time of the attack and the pollce would like to hear from anyone who witnessed the tncldent.

If you have any tnformation, call Norfolk Pollce on 0 1953 42 42 42 .

ARMED ROBBERY POLICE are appealtng for information after an armed raid on M & M's convenience store In the Golden triangle A young man armed with a crowbar -type implement entered the store In Denbetgh Road , Norwich and robbed the cashier of a quantity of cigarettes and cash . This happened at about 5.15 p.m on Saturday.

28th February.

The man is described as white. 6 foot tall and approxImately 16 years of age. He was weartng a red and blue coat. dark trousers. dark footwear and his head was covered with a hooded top.

The youth was seen to leave the store on pedal cycle tn the direction of Park Lane.

DC Sarah Knights, leadtng the tnvestigation, said, 'The cashier remains tn shock from this tncldent but Is thankfully physically untnjured. This Is the second robbery at this store tn two months and we will be looktng for any 1tnks between the two offences."

Anyone with any tnformation should DC Sarah Knights at Bethel Street Pollce Station via 01953 424242

Pacre 8

IN BRIEF LOCAL NEWS FROM

THE LAST WEEK THIS LITTLE PIGGY WENT TO...

POLICE are looking for rustlers who sto le 4 70 piglets from a farm in Elveden. It is t hought that the pigs were loaded on to a lorry after the gates were forced to an outbuilding on the All between 11 :30 am Saturday and 11:30 Sunday, February 22.

The pigs were all between six and 22 weeks old, and ranged in size from e ight kilos to 90kg.

Police believe the rustlers had plenty of storage space and spe cialist knowledge , as the animals were too young for sale to an abat toir.

NO CHARITY AT SCHOOL A NORFOLK high School has been criticised after it sent one of its pupils home for wearing pink clothes.

Northgate High School, Dereham had relaxed its uniform policy so that pupils could wear one pink item of clothing and pay fifty pence for the privile ge. The money raise d was t o go to a breast cancer awareness chari ty .

However, Rebecca Hewitt was removed from lessons after s h e wo re four items and paid two pounds to t h e charity.

She was told that the rules of the day had been to wear only one item and Rebecca's parents were phoned and asked to collect her, because she was "inappropriately dressed"

News

COicntt Wednesdav.March 10, 2004

HIVE AND LCR ARE COURSES HISTORY? CIARI FICATION Union tries to stop confusion over Hive refurbishment plans PAUL VINCENT Deputy News Editor WORK in the LCR may be set t o get underway before t he East er break, possibly leading to a reduced capacit y .

Rumours have been circula ling tha t the LCR and Hive may close for refurb is hment as early a s this week .despile a n article in the last issue of Concreie stating that the closure is only sched uled for the end of th is semester. Union Genera l Ma nager, Andy Poll told Concreie that "the LCR will re main open till the sta rt of the Eas ter break. though ena bling works cou ld begin before that".

These e nab ling wo rks. which are likely to lake place in the rem a ining weeks of th is semes te r. will be based in the Hive. with a small area a t tl1e

bottom of the stairs leading to the upper floor of Union Ho u se being sealed off.

Al tho u gh dis rupti on is expected to be minimal. the work could obs truct one of the inte rna l fire doors between the Hive and the LCR. Mr Poll ell:pla ined that this "could eventually lead to a s ma ll reduction in the ve nu e's ca pacity".

The prelimina ry works' aim is to de termin e whe ther there is any asbestos in the building. by examining the ceili ng of the Hive. On Friday of week twelve, fmal pre paralions wil l be made in order for work to s tart promptly the following Monday. This cou ld involve reloca ting the vending ma chines and other m inor cha nges. Meanwhile. finan ce office r Amy Ha ms ha s clarrlfied exactly wha t

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refurb is hm en t th e will involve. s he explained that "ilie Hive and LC R wi ll be s hu t fro m Easter. and the LCR wi ll be open again a t about ilie beginning of June.

The Hive won 't be open agai n unW September, so make the mos t of it wh ile you can .

Only four weeks left of the Hive as it is."

While the Hive und ergoes complete trans form a tio n . the only thing tha t wil l change in the LCR will be the ba r area . which wi ll change s ha pe and a llow mo re people to be s e rved .

When ilie LCR re -open s in June. ilie new bar will not yet be opera tional . ins tead LCR-goer will be a ble to u se ilie Union ba rs downs tairs. linked by a n ew wid e ned sta ircase.

Below: The inte rnalftre doors

PAU L VIN CENT Deputy News Editor IDSTORY degrees are set t o undergo changes in order for costs to be reduced.

Studen t represen tatives on the school's leaching com mi ttee informed studen ts that to main tain the departmen t's five star research rating. ilie s chool is proposing to make changes to th e structure of boili ilie s eco nd and iliird years of all history degrees.

If passed by ilie school board today. ilie p roposals will lake affect a s early a s September 2004. mean ing ilial his tory students currently in ilieir fi rst or second year wi ll be affec ted as iliey move into their second or final year.

The pro posa ls include re placing one of the fin a l yea r free c hoice m odules with a co mpuls ory d oc u ments module and phas ing out the his tory disserta tion so that il wi ll no longer be a va ilable in two years time.

In a ddilion . the maximum lime a llocated fo r s pecia l s u bject teaching (wort h s ix ty units) will be h alved to j us t one and a hal f hours every week. llis tory st u dents are concerned iliat ilie changes wi ll greatly reduce th eir uni t

optio ns. J a m es Lambden HIS 2 s aid th at h e is "extrem ely concerned" and pointed out that the changes "will alter the fund amen tal structure of history degrees" wh ile Ma rk Locke HIS 2 esti m ates th a t the p roposals we re formulated "with ou t suita b le studen t cons ul ta tion . ilie foc u s on democracy within s chools is clearly not worki ng". h e add ed th at "the re is g reat concern amongs t ilie s tudent body".

A large number of s tudents a re a ttracted to s tudy history a t UEA precisely because of the wide choice of modu les a vailable to them in their second a n d third yea rs.

James told Concre te tha t h e was "sh ocked and a ppalled " and explained tha t he will now h ave to drop a modu le tha t he h ad been looking forwa rd to laking next yea r becau se of ilie new compulsory d ocuments modu le.

Jan1es and Mark have organised a petition which h as bee n c irc ula ting a mongst second year s tuden ts . The petition , which curTently has about ninety s ignatures (for 125 enrolled s tuden ts). calls for the school to grant a s lay of exccu lion on ilie in1plementalion of the changes.

Below: School of History

BIKER PROTEST AB OUT t h re e hundred bikers formed a comnvoy through Hunstanton at the weekend, to protest about the new parking charges in the town .

West Norfolk Council will now charge £1 per bike, but the local Motorcycle Acti on Gro up is again st paying for t h e attendant ov e rseeing the area Group member Peter Widdows sai d: "We're told the fee would cover the cost of m arshalling and we're expected t o park on what is essen tially a foot path.

"They c ould be looking at get ting about £200 a day if that's the case, s o I wouldn't mind t aking that job mys e lf.

According to the local t ourist information se rvice motorcyclis ts will alway s be welc om e in the are a .

ALLDONATIONS WELCOME? TWO worke rs at the Macmillan Cancer Relie f Charity shop at Hethersett, near Norwich had a shock when they looked through a selection of second hand clothes and found £945 in used banknotes . The money was returne d to the owner.

GREEN CANDIDATES ANNOUNCED THE Green Party has anno unced that one of their candidate s for this year's c ounc il elec tions is Andy Pearmain, t he exlabour Councillor who took the blame we nt the council announced they were planni ng to chop down a row of c onker trees.

Mr Pea rma in was na med as one of 39 Green candida tes chose n a t a rece nt meeting to ilgh t every scat in the city. whi c h includes some of Norwich's most outspoken citizens.

The conkC'r:-; "debate" whiC'h attracted internationa l media at tent ion in the :-;ummer of 200 l. when the coun cil decided that trees in Blut'bell Road would have to be cut down. because fa ll ing conkers C'Ould injure people.

Eventually only two dbeased trees were cho pped.

Mr Pearmain to ld local pa per The orwich Evening News tha t he was p ulling the conkers fiasco behind him. a nd descri bed how h e becam e an independent at the end of his ter m as a labou r cou nc illor, befo re becoming a green candid a te He said : "I joined th e Green Party a t the e nd of my ter m. I am glad to be part of a growing force and fee l tl1ey can make significant inroads in the city. They are the only party that l can say is growing and iliriving in Norwich."

The Green Party won their lirst seats in the city in 2002, now has a ll thrC'C' in llcndcrson Ward. and are hoping to increase their rcp rt'scntation on Norwich City Council in the elections on June 10.

Clh- Adrlan Ra m sey. as a

spo kes m an for the Green Party said th at the party has provided an alternative voice on a ran ge of issu es. and "We a re p u s h ing for more social hou s ing to be included in new deve lopments and for doo rstep recycling to be c:>..1.e nded across ilie ci ty and to include metals. For smal l. local businesses to be protected from more ou t-of-town superstort'S and shopping malls. and for improvements to public transport to be made a top piiorlty. " I le said th ey would contin ue to oppose top -up fees and to make Norwich a Fair Trade City.

Rupcrt Read. ,1 Philosophy professor at th e LJ EA and s taunch oppon l' nt to thl' cOJJtrovt'r:-;ial Uni\·er->ity top up [C'C'!-. . will be hoping for a -,eat in the new Wensum ward.

POLICE NOTICE Police are asking that stude n ts in the following are as obtain and return consent forms for a burglary reductio n initiative within areas of terrac ed housing in part s of Norwich .

Where burglary hots pots are identified the area is surveyed for suitability and a ll res iden ts are sen t an explanatory letter and con sent form for completion by residents and landlords before returning it. After gainin~ I 00°'o consent from all residents. ~ales arc then produced and fitted FREE OF CHARGE. Unfortunately a numbC'r of student occupied houses have no l re:-;pondcd to d ,It C' <UJd the more that rC'spond the more su cessfyul this schC'mt' will be.

Th e areas are : Clarcndon Road Neville Road Grosvenor Road Bailiursl Road Whiteh a ll Roa d Aven ue Road Glebe Road even nos. 2- 150 Lincoln Street Portla n d Street Dover Street Warwick Street Po rtersfield Road odd nos.49 - 93 Unthank Road Nos.l6 1 183. 136- 152. 100 - 118 Bury Street Onley Street Leicester Street Gloucester Street Hupert Street Chester Street l{ulland Street York Street Cambridge' Street Nc\vmarket Street odd nos.

- 147

T!inity Street

c..a.t., Wednesday.

Features

March /0, 2004

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Page 9

1000 ta es o Ara IC Learning a foreign language is a definate advantage in today's modern world, argues Dominic Chessum, but with the closure of LLT, it will soon be impossible at UEA s Concrete reported last issue, UEA is proposing to close the school of Language, Linguistics and Translation (LLT). Undoubtedly most students will have greeted the news with the same apathy that seems to pervade all student politics at UEA. A few, however, will be horrified at the prospect of loosing such a valuable facility, and quite rightly so.

Though never having taken advantage of LLT while at this university, I have recently had reason to contemplate its value. With the end of my final year looming, I have decided to begin learning Arabic to improve my job prospects.

Learning a language is part of a longer term strategy to enable me to achieve my ideal job by the age of 30. If all goes according to plan I will be working as Middle East correspondent for a major newspaper. Arabic is therefore essential to my plans.

Four weeks into what I now realise will be a very long term project, I am still struggling to find my feet. Using only a teach yourself book and tape and with only the Internet for back up, I have discovered the process of learning a completely alien language is going to be more difficult than I first thought.

A

The fact is that learning Arabic is not like learning French or Italian, you are truly starting form scratch.

Learning the letters of the alphabet is about as far as I have got. I suspect my pronunciation is rather dodgy. The more I attempt to learn the more I realise how much I am taking on. I am attempting to learn a language that does not have a basis in Latin, has no familiar symbols and is even written the opposite way to English. am beginning to believe it was a mistake to think I could teach myself effectively.

D.~

Initially things got off to a good start. The book and tapes arrived and I spent a couple of days working out a learning plan. I calculated I would need about a week to complete each section. How wrong could I have been? Using this calculation I should now be on at least section five: I am still on section one. began the first section in earnest. I completed all the written exercises; sat their like an idiot repeating the sounds on the tape over and over until the rewind button on my walkman almost jammed, did the symbol identification exercises and repeated the whole process again and again for about a week. Then, feeling rather confident in what I believed to be my new found ability, I went and looked at an Arabic newspaper on the Internet. lt was at this point I hit my first brick wall. Don't get me wrong, I had no delusions that I was going to be able to read any of the text but I did think I would be able to recognise some of the letters. How wrong could I be?

After about half an hour of trying I gave up feeling rather disillusioned. Individual letters were all very well but when they were joined up into actual words it was a whole different ball game. lt was two days before I went back to the book. I had resolved that I was just going to have to persevere. There was no getting round the fact this was going to be difficult. The fact is that learning Arabic is not like learning French or Italian, you are truly starting from scratch. In the first place, Arabic is written right to left. This not only means that you have to train your eyes and brain to start from the right hand side of the page and work to the left but that you have to learn to write in another direction as well. Believe me this is a far more difficult process that you would imagine. lt also makes using the book rather difficult as you have to read the English instructions left to right before attempting to read the Arabic from right to left. After about half an hour my brain is usually in a complete spin.

On top of this is the problem of vowels. In theory the symbols for

I

these go above and below the rest of the writing but in practice it is assumed that the reader knows where they should be and so they are not usually written. Luckily the course book writes all these vowels in, however, I suspect when I come to start reading other material this could lead to major problems.

Finally there is the problem of differing type faces; one of the reasons why I found trying to identify symbols in the newspaper so hard. The more I am teaching myself, the more I realise that very soon I am going to need a teacher to enable me to progress with any speed and accuracy. Unfortunately I have left it to late to take advantage of the beginners' Arabic course offered by the LLT. I suspect I am going to have great difficulty in finding a teacher. I have determination on my side, however, and am sure I will get there in the end.

The really annoying thing is that I never took advantage of LLT when I had the chance. lt now seems that students in the future will not have the opportunity to do so either. Never having given it a second thought before, I am only beginning to realise what an asset the LLT is after it is too late.

far student accarnrnadatian

PRCPEIIIY

MANAGEMENT LEIIINGS &SAâ&#x20AC;˘ FS CALL N0\1\/ FOR RJRTHER DETAILS

D~BD3 7B7~DD 12!5 UNTHANK I=IOAC, NORWICH, NR2 2PE

Wednesday, March 10, 2004 Cotcrttt

Features

Page 10

Cttcntt Wednesday, March 10, 2004

Features

11

Page 11

great deal of effort has been put into debunking it, with ;he Guardian newspaper, the BBC and even CNN's website running stories about it. Trevor Cox from the acoustics research centre at the University of Salford experimented on Daisy the duck to confirm once and for all that duck's quacks do indeed echo - he placed Daisy in an anechoic chamber and then a reverberation chamber. In the former he heard a regular duck's quack and in the latter he heard a distinct echo. Cox then tried the expe·iment in a more natural environment and discovered that a duck's quack does indeed echo off a cliff just like any other sound. lt seems that this particular urban legend was simply a product of someone wanting to fill a list of trivia, choosing something which isn't very easily verifiable and adding the phrase 'and no-one knows why' to add mystery before posting it on the Internet to confuse the p.~blic and annoy scientists.

1n Horrifying though it is to admit, not everything you hear in the pub is completely true. Here, to prevent the embarrassment of being caught telling lies, Colin Griffiths guides you through the darkness of deliberate misinformation to the blinding light of truth. or those in need of clarification, the nice people at dictionary.com define an urban legend as: 'an apocryphal story involving incidents of the recent past, often including elements of humor and horror, that spreads quickly and is popularly believed to be true'. So, for your education and entertainment, here are a few of the more common urban legends, fallacies, old wives' tales and nuggets of misinformation to be found in pub conversations and on the Internet. Truth, or just filthy lies?

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Scuba Diver r\ Found In \ •,_ Remains Of .._ ; Forest Fire.

Placing A Penny On Train-Tracks To Flatten lt

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8

This tale of the tragic/humorous demise of a scuba diver has been around since at least 1987 and even turns up in the movie 'Magnolia', it's been said to happen in various different places all over the world, primarily in Europe and the U.S..

Unfortunately for those after a good story it doesn't seem to be in the least bit true. Firstly no report of a burnt scuba diver corpse recovered after a forest fire has ever emerged and secondly the equipment used to collect water from lakes wouldn't allow such a thing to occur anyway - There are 3 technologies used by aircraft to pick up water to douse forest fires. The 'helibucket', the largest of which can hold 10,000 gallons of water that it takes in through a 1-foot ring, a space a fully equipped diver would never conceivably be able to squeeze through. The 'Bombardier Water Bomber' has 2 intakes, both of which are 4 by 10 inches (again, far too small). These holes are also protected by grilling, meaning that even fish would have trouble getting in. The final method used is that of 'helitankers' which suck up· water through a hose (which is charmingly known in the trade as a 'donkey dick'). The opening to this tube is only a couple of inches in diameter and certainly poses no threat to an unlucky scuba diver.

The closest thing to be found to this tale is the story of a woman in Corsica in 1998 who was caught by the eddies of a re-loading water-bomber, struck the landing stage of the plane and bruised her leg. One option as to why this Urban Legend

Coca-Cola ..

UsedTo l Contain .._ _,. Cocaine.

oca-Cola was named in 1885 after it's two 'medicinal' ingredients, kola nuts and coca leaves (coca leaves being the basis for cocaine - each leaf has a cocaine content of between 0.1% and 0.9%) so it's clear that cocacola did contain some amount of cocaine. But by 1891, amidst the beginnings of a fear of 'cocainism', the amount of coca extract leaf in the syrup was cut to a mere trace. The reason it was kept in

elow is a fairly typical example of this urban legend. As with many urban legends there are many variations in circulation so don't get upset if the version you heard was slightly different:

"Fire Authorities in California found a corpse in a burnt out section of forest whilst assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wetsuit, complete with a dive tank, flippers and face mask. A post mortem examination revealed that the person died not from burns but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators then set about determining how a fully clad diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. 1t was revealed that, on the day of the fire, the person went for a diving trip off the coast - some 20 kilometres away from the forest.

The firefighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, called in a fleet of helicopters with very large buckets. The buckets were dropped into the ocean for rapid filling, then flown to the forest fire and emptied. You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next he was doing a breaststroke in a fire bucket 300m in the air."

albums." Or "If I'd known white people were going to buy my last album, I never would have recorded it." - sometimes the quote is attributed to the Fugees rather than just Hill. The basis of these statements seems to have been a caller to the Howard Stern show in 1996 who claimed that Lauryn Hill hade made the 'starving children' version of the statement in an MTV interview. This urban legend seems to be greatly unlikely, as had such a thing happened during an interview the tape would surely be haunting Hill to this day. The fact that no-one has produced such a tape and that there is such great disparity between what was supposedly said and even who said it makes this story immediately seem like fiction.

MTV even made a public announcement that the allegations against Hill were untrue and Lauryn Hill called in to the Howard Stern show to deny the claims as well, saying 'What I did say was that I love my people, black people, and I will continue to make music for them". As a footnote to this particular urban legend, testament to the pervasiveness of this myth can be found in the lyrics of Eminem's Cum On Everybody- "Bought Lauryn Hill's tape so her kids could starve".

s far as can be reasonably discovered no train has ever been de-railed by someone placing a coin on the tracks. However, several people have been killed whilst trying to do it. In 1986 Laura Ann Foote, an 18 year old in Chic, California didn't get out of the way of the train quick enough and was flattened along with her penny and, a little closer to home, in 1996, Bruce Darling was hit by an Intercity train moving at 11 Omph at Cramlington Station In Northumberland whilst trying to penny the tracks, after getting the idea whilst drinking with friends.

If one is flattening pennies on a track there is also the risk of the penny flying off of the tracks at very high speeds, making them quite the deadly projectile - it seems that this urban legend is a product of protective-parents attempting to prevent their children from playing around train-tracks, though as the practice has been around since the days of the streetcar, it seems unlikely that this legend will end it altogether. ~

A

That poor woman must have been so embarrassed when she found out they were filming. Oh, wait a minute, it's a cartoon. has spread so well is that it may have started life as a hypothetical riddle 'explain how the scuba diver got there' but on subsequent re. .,

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it was made from a different boob-less print of the movie.

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- ' Kevin's geeky 1 ~~ ' sidekick Paul &.-~ • in TV's "The \ ~ ; ' onder Years" grew up to become Marilyn Manson.

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, - ' Subliminal 1 ·~ ' smut in 'The Rescuers'.

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he story this time is that in Wait Disney's 'The Rescuers', with the aid of a pause button one can briefly see a photographic image of a topless woman as Bianca and Bernard fly through a city on the back of an Albatross (his name was Orville if you care). This urban legend is, according to Disney, completely true - apparently the photo has been in the film since its cinema release, though Disney were keen to point out that it was not inserted by animators but during post-production.

On the 8th of January 1999 Disney ordered a full recall of all 3.9 million copies of the home video to rectify the problem. The picture is not noticeable during a normal viewing of the film as it takes up 2 non-consecutive frames (One of whch can be found for your viewing pleasure above).

Before you go off to find an old copy of the video to check, bear in mind that if you have the 1992 release then you'll be getting no nudity-joy at all as

' The Daddy 1 6'1._ \ Long Legs Is \ _, •l The World's 41111 , ; Most Venomous Animal. But its teeth are too small to pierce skin. his urban legend is impressively widespread, and although it is probably heard most in school playgrounds across the nation, it by no means stops there. I have personally heard it from a 3rd year environmental science student, and at least one member of the Concrete team swore blind that this was true (for the record this. person, who will remain nameless, also swore that the scuba diver urban legend was true). But alas it is not.

The first problem we hit is that it seems that we have imported this particular myth from the States - which immediately led to some problems in translation as when American's refer to a 'daddy long

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at all was simply that the name 'coca-cola' was highly valued - Coca Cola had no patent on the formula itself and anyone could make their own version, so it was felt that the name must continue to be descriptive and so a small amount of coca leaf had to remain in the drink.

By 1902 the amount of cocaine in coca-cola was as lo·N as 1/400 of a grain of cocaine per ounce of syrup and by 1929 Coca-Cola was completely free of co::aine traces. Despite Coca-Cola once containing cocaine it should be noted that given the tiny amounts it seems very unlikely that anyone

Spot the difference.

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A cranefly - not very deadly at all really. legs' they are talking about the 'long legged cellar spider' whereas over here we're talking about the 'cranefly' (above) which isn't even a spider. The cranefly is most definitely not a venomous animal at all, and as far as we can determine neither is the 'long legged cellar spider'. If the spider is unable to pierce skin then the only way to find out if it did in fact have venom deadly to humans would be to milk its venom and then inject it into a human.

Amazingly, no-one has volunteered to do this yet so no information is available, but there is certainly no evidence to say that they are in any way venomous. lt seems that we have imported some misinformation and then applied it to the wrong animal - meaning that, in English terms, this urban legend couldn't really ~f.l be further removed .. ""

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arilyn Manson is the basis of several different urban legends, almost all of which are false. Other examples include the tale that he unleashed live dogs into the crowd at a show and told the audience to kill them if they wanted him to continue, and that he became 'evil' after being rejected by a church youth group. Like the others, this one is false. The actor who played Paul Pfeiffer in The Wonder Years is Josh Saviano (now a consultant for an internet firm), whilst Marilyn Manson's real name is Brian Warner. Josh Saviano apparently receives email on a weekly basis asking if he is Manson, and has done since Christmas 1996.

The popularity of this legend clearly lies in the appeal of the idea that a wholesome, innocent child-star can become a rock-star who some would see as evi! incarnate.

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, - ' A Duck's 1 "- , auack Doesn't Echo ~ , - And Nobody Knows Why.

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his is a particularly bizarre urban legend given how ludicrous a claim it is and how often it turns up (particularly on emailed trivia forwards) - it even appeared in the first issue of weekly men's magazine Nuts in their 'Strange But True Facts' column. lt is, of course, completely false but it's been in such wide circulation that a

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; - ' Lauryn Hill 1~ ' said in an \ ' • 1 interview "I ~ ; would rather have my children starve than have white people buy my albums." Or similar.

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here are a few variants on this claim as to what Hill said, such as: "I would rather die than have a white person buy one of my

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c.a.t., Wednesday, March 10 2004

e ast week the government proposed introducing a 'Fat Tax' to try and slow down the current epidemic of obesity that is sweeping the country. They hope that it is going to be a "signal to society that nutritional content in food is importanf' and apparently it could "prevent up to 1,000 premature deaths from heart disease a year". This tax means that the things we love - cheese-burgers and chocolate - are going to cost more than ever, in the hope that this will stop us eating them.

But if this type of food is so bad for our bodies, why do we want it? Why do we crave fat so much? The answer seems to be rooted deep in our evolutionary past. Six million years ago, early man dropped down from the trees and started living on the savannah. Food here was hard to find, meat was especially hard to obtain as it often meant tracking your prey for days before engaging in a hunt with an animal more than capable of killing you itself. If you did manage to make a kill then you had to share it with any other carnivore on the plain, and if a lion wanted some of your dinner it wasn't wise to argue! Therefore the savannah diet was mainly that old favourite 'nuts and berries'. and when on the rare occasion meat did arrive it was a treat. Since meat was so hard to get, we had to evolve to be desperate for it, otherwise we wouldn't have bothered and the human race would have died off long ago from malnutrition. Meat is one of the few natural â&#x20AC;˘ sources of glutamate in our diet, a chemical which stimulates that craving for more (monosodium glutamate is in, amongst other things, Pringles -'once you pop you can't stop'). The early humans who developed these cravings for glutamate hunted more often, ate more meat, survived longer and had more children, becoming our ancestors, passing on to all their descendants an insatiable craving for meat and the saturated fats that come with it.

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The number of people in this country classified as clinically obese has doubled in the last 20 years However much you try to kid yourself, even you skinny vegans have to admit it, a chunky rare steak, or a big pile of sizzling bacon is always going to be more tempting than a bowl of nuts and berries.

OK, so it's natural to crave fat. What's the problem then? Well, as I mentioned above, it used to be very difficult to get hold of, the hunt probably often using up more energy for the hunter than he would get back from the meat (sorry girls, but it almost always was a 'he', women were much too clever to put themselves in that kind of danger when they could get someone else to do it for them by fluttering their eyelashes - oh yes, more is inherited than you would think). Nowadays the only thing you need to wrestle is the supermarket trolley to get your daily rations of fat, so we eat more of it and we burn less of it off; this trend is pushing the scales of the nation over the limit.

But why should we care about being overweight?

Sure, the image of the 'perfect 10' is what you see on the catwal ks, but this is the age of the individual; if you are happy with your weight does it matter if you are more Dawn French than Elle MacPhearson? Aren't they both beautiful, sexy women in their own right? Well, yes, I agree that they are, and to be honest I know a lot of men who would rather bury themselves in Ms French's

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Features

12

We all worry about our weight, for many reasons.

But, according to Clare Aitchison, there is more for us to be concerned about than aesthetic appearence.

ample bosom (Lenny Henry being one) than get prodded and poked by the ribs of a supermodel, but the fact of the matter is, being overweight can seriously damage your health.

Obesity is associated with all sorts of health problems. Firstly, your skeleton cannot cope with the extra weight it is having to carry around, you get back pain as your spine compresses, squashing nerves, the joints of your knees and hips start to deteriorate from the excessive strain, and osteoarthritis develops - a painful condition where the bones of your joints grate against each other, and for which the only treatment is replacement surgery.

An excess of fat in the body also means that it floats around in your blood and then starts to settle inside the blood vessels, causing them to clog up. This makes the hole through the middle of them smaller, and so the blood in your body has less space to fit in to. This is like trying to fill a balloon with more and more water and so naturally the pressure builds up causing high blood pressure or hypertension.

The arteries can even get blocked, completely halting the flow of blood. If this happens in the blood supply to the arms or legs it can cause gangrene which might lead to amputation. But if it happens in vessels that supply blood to the heart, then it can die, no longer pumping blood around your body. This is a major cause of death related to obesity. A similar thing may also happen in the brain if the blood vessels there are affected, or the high blood pressure can cause vessets in the brain to burst and this will cause a stroke, the effects of which may be total paralysis, loss of speech or death.

Obesity can also cause Type 2 diabetes, also known as non-insulin dependant diabetes. This is because when you are overweight, insulin (a hormone which is released after you have eaten) circulates in the bloodstream constantly. The recaptors that normally pick up the signal from insulin basically get bored of seeing it all the time and become resistant to it, therefore your body can no longer react to the hormone when it needs to.

This leads to a cycle of hyperglycaemia and hypoglycamia, and all the problems associated with diabetes which include nerve damage , impotence, heart disease, kidney disease and blindness.

And then of course there's cancer. Being overweight causes your body to produce more sex hormones such as testosterone or progesterone.

These make you more susceptible to breast cancer and prostate cancer, and if you are overweight when you are diagnosed, you are l ess likely to respond to treatment. Add to that the fact that fatty foods are associated with stomach and colon cancers and the outlook is not good.

Lastly and by no means least come the psychological problems that may be due to having a poor body image, or not feeling like you fit in to society's norms. dd all these factors together (and these are just a taster) and you can see that too much fat is bad for your health. Apparently, being seriously overweight can shorten your life by around 9 years. At the moment the health problems caused by obesity are costing the NHS ÂŁ500 million a year, whilst about 30,000 people are dying each year as a direct result of being overweight. The number of people in this country classified as clinically obese has doubled in the last 20 years, and if current trends continue, predictions are that by 2020 a third of all adults will be obese. The money to pay for all these medical

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problems we are going to have has to come from somewhere and so you can see why they think it makes sense to levy a fat-tax on those foods which are damaging our health. This tax, combined with health education programmes and compulsory exercise in schools may be just what is needed to at least begin to address the problem, and reduce the burden on the NHS. But isn't there a danger here? If the government concentrate on publicising the dangers of being fat, and the health-risks associated with fatty foods, might they not push some people too far in the other direction? We all know that the mantra 'thin is beautiful' so greatly touted by the fashion industry is partly responsible for the poor body image, and subsequent eating disorders of many people (usually young girls). If the doctors, teachers and people who run our country use scare tactics to turn us away from fat, how many people will enter the realms of anorexia?

Anorexia is medically classified as having a BMI below 17.5, when this weight loss is self-induced either by starving yourself or by vomiting after eating. Anorexics have literally a fear of fatness, and it is this fear that may be reinforced by the campaigns against obesity.

Being seriously underweight has as many health problems associated with it as being overweight.

When a woman's body thinks she is starving her periods stop to prevent her from having a child

whilst food is so sparse. This can have long-term effects on fertility and in 25% of anorexics, periods never return, even when the weight is put back on. Being so underweight also puts you at severe risk of osteoporosis, a condition where your bones become so thin that they snap at the slightest pressure - even a sneeze can cause a fracture. These fractures themselves cause problems, especially if they happen in places like the hip or the spine.

As more and more weight is lost, the internal organs start to thin and shrink, and this can lead to a slowing down of the heart rate and eventually total organ failure, between 13 and 20% of anorexics will die every year as a result of their illness.

Clearly the problems of obesity are serious, and this country is in desperate need of education about diet, exercise and weig~t. otherwise we are in danger of overtaking the USA as the fattest country in the world. The fat-tax may well be a step in the right direction, and certainly it will help if the food producers have a financial incentive for producing less fatty, more nutritious meals. But there needs to be an emphasis on the importance of staying at a stable weight, the problems with yo-yo dieting, and above all the dangers of being too fat and too thin. If this balance is not addressed then the next generation may have a whole new set of health problems to deal with.

Are you a healthy weight?

Your Body Maas Index (or BMI) Is calculllted as your walghlln kilograms divided by your height In meters squared: Weight In Kg (Height In m)' That may sound hideously complicated but for example If you weigh 60 kilos and you are 1.7 metres tall, your BMI will be 20.76. ¡ The 'normal-range' of BMIIs 2Q-25. Anything under 20 Is underweight, anything over 25 Is considered overweight, whilst over 30 Is clinically obese and over 40 is morbidly obese.

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Features

Wednesday, March /0, 2004

Pase 13

11

Development studies student Tessa Kipping went to visit the home of Paddington Bear, Peru, but discovered the country was suffering from an economic depression, and that just about anything could happen from strange taxi drivers to passport haggling, and bizarre Government rules. t was on the plane as I was looking down at the Amazon with three hours to go until arriving in Lima, the capital of Peru, that I suddenly realised the enormity of what I was actually doing. I had just signed myself up for a six month trip to South America with the vague words research and dissertation floating around in my head. Sitting there alone on the plane looking at all those excitable backpackers and strange looking Peruvians, my positive attitude on life started to drain away. The first two months were to be spent researching my dissertation in Bolivia and the last four studying at a university in Lima. I was terrified. lt can be an extremely daunting experience setting off on your own, and I don't think I can ever explain the absolute fear I felt as I ventured out to find an Internet cafe to email my surprisingly unworried parents that I'd arrived safely. But after six months, a few hairy situations, two red roses, and a tattoo I was accustomed to Bolivia and Peru and I vow on returning.

Bolivia is the poorest country in South American. Like Peru, it has been sucked dry by American imperialism and been carved up by Brazil, Chile and Peru worse than Europe after the war. lt should by rights be the richest country in the world. You name it, it has it; laden with natural resources, snow topped mountains, flamingos, sloughs, jungle, oh and the worlds most dangerous road.

Don't mention sea to a Bolivian though. The Chileans stole it in the war of the Pacific in 1879-1884, much to the dismay of the Bolivians who still keep a fleet of navy boats moored at Lake Titicaca, (the highest lake in the world and a massive tourist trap for the two countries).

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Peru is certainly not the most beautiful place I have ever been to, but it is the weirdest, strangest most confusing and shocking place I've visited to date.

A mass privatisation campaign, in the name of stabilisation and neo-liberalism, has been running since the mid-eighties leading to vast job losses in the public sector. People working in the mines or on the railways have had to find other means to feed their families after foreign companies deemed these industries unprofitable and shut them down. The lack of public services in Bolivia has resulted in a rapidly increasing informal sector; a huge mass of street hawkers, shoe shine boys and beggars and it is this which strikes me as the most visual and telling difference between the developing world and the developed world: the markets.

We have flashy mysteriously intangible sleek fashionable and oddly alluring financial market places, where money flashes past our eyes in direct debits, clicks of the mouse with out us ever touching it; the developing world has its own form of markets, big huge sweaty ones where you go to buy everything in cash, think Lakeside without labels. Cochabamba, located slap-bang in the middle of Bolivia, has La Chancha the ultimate capitalist orgy that occurs everyday just south of the centre. Shoddy market stalls stretch for what seems like miles, (about nine city blocks square),

and sell everything from plastic flowers, to Gucci rip offs, drill heads and fresh meat. Bolivia contains eight million people in total, one wonders how long people with no money can continue buying and whether anyone can feasibly make a living out here.

After spending two months in Bolivia, I returned to Peru and attended the Catholic University for a semester, taking a course in contemporary Peruvian economics. Peru is certainly not the most beautiful place I have ever been to, but it is the weirdest, strangest most confusing and shocking place I've visited to date. Every day I would stumble across things that just didn't make sense, but by the end of it nothing could surprise me. Why would the government decide that everybody had to pay their telephone bill on the same day? lt was just the ridiculous government bureaucracy making up more rules to complicate the lives of normal people and create enough loopholes to sink Timbuktu. How can the palace of justice actively ignore injustice? Just pop to the next street corner and you'll find the palace of not-so-bothered. Here you can get anything, university degrees, marriage certificates, or the most prised of all; an American passport. I managed to haggle my passport up to $250 dollars, due to the stamps. Even a policeman was interested in what a blonde girl was up to. He had a huge gun which normally would have worried me but as it was Peru I always felt safer with an AK-47 nearby! Amazingly I went home that day with my passport and head in tact. eruvians may not have tea like the English but man can they moan! Complaining has to be the national sport of Peru, there is a weird urban class of moaning, boorish and dissatisfied people, not doing anything to change their situation. This really made me feel at home. Another thing that reminded me of home was the Taxi drivers. Due to the privatisation and general state of the country (corruption, greed and the good old land of the free) thousands of people have been sacked from jobs, or migrated to the cities in search of a better life. Taxi drivers can earn as much as a doctor in a state hospital , it seems they don't even have to know how to drive, just how to honk the horn. The noise in a typical main road in Lima is amazing, a sea of tiny yellow cabs howling and bleating incessantly waiting for their next hit, there are screeching brakes, near crashes and doors held on by string! After you've haggled your price (which is always about a million dollars if like me you look like Pollyanna), you enter the usually foul smelling car, with 'Jesus is the way' stickers everywhere and scary skull things usually stuck on the gear stick complete with red gleaming eyes and blood around the mouth. In fact the only time I ever relaxed in a taxi in Peru was when a Swedish guy fed me jungle fire water!

Driving is terrifying in Peru, but the taxi drivers are the real treat, they know every thing and I soon put my Lonely Planet quietly in the bin and took. advice from previous economics professors, Norwegian translators, and ex-cops. Because of this I've been to the best Salsa clubs in Peru, drunk the best pisco sour (the national drink: egg white, lime, sugar and lethal alcohol), and stayed in the funniest fishing villages in northern Peru.

If you're thinking of going to Peru or Bolivia, do itl Just make sure your Spanish is good enough to ask the taxi drivers for the nearest salsa club, but watch out for the pisco sour, it's bad.

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Page 14

Features

\Vednesdtn·. Ma rch 10. 200-1

staff are still prepared to rally together against abuses towards the education system . The AUT's support in the NUS's fight against top-up fees highligh ts lecturers' dedication to university- level education and is a fan tasttc boos t in a polil tcal area that needs vi gilant and unerring resista nce, if we wish to maintain a class-less Higher Education system. Many students sympathise deeply wi th the predicament lectu rers find themselves tn; on the one hand quite rightly fighting against the tnjustice of dtminishing pay. whilst on the other fee ling guilt at havtng to Jeopardtse educalton they are passtonate about. to do so. The future of the lecturer affects us all: without them . there wi ll be no untverst ttes and none of the opportun ities which now lie wide open to us. Now is the time to make sure that the huge support students have already shown lecturers does not falter at the first hurdle .

Campus Comment Time for a change

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Recycl ing is an issue we shoul d all be doing ou r best to encourag e. lt is ou r envi ron ment we are destroying, and recyc ling is just one way we can help protect it. However, it seem s UEA students just don't care. The Union is trying its hardest to sti mulate recycling projects across campus, but students are throwing it back in its face . Come on Norfolk Terrace, as th e site of the recycling trial , you should be taking pride in you r rol e an d showing the rest of campus how its done. The Union should not need to resort to offering awards just to get people to recycle the ir own waste products. Come on people get your act together. and sort out your bottl es. paper and tin cans.

Many of you wil l kn ow that the lectu rers were on strike on Feb ru ary 24 and 25, and wh ether you beli eve in the cause or not, Emma Rumball argues that students should show their su pport More often than not it would seem that campus comment. often justifiably, becomes campus complaint. Only when the good thtngs about a situatton or instttutt on come under threat . do we remem ber and

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While it is great that UEA is extending the library fo r the ben efi t of futu re students, what about the students who are trying to study here now? lt hardly eems fair that as week 12 deadlines approach and then the exam period , the library is going to be the most noisy place on campus. Students have a right to expect a quiet place to study, and shou ld not have to work elsewhere or chang e their working hours. This is the most important time of year for students, preparing for assesments and the place of santuary is becoming a place of clamour.

A degree in nothing?

Although Concrete is fully behind the lecturer's campaign, 1t is concerning that final year students may leave without a hard-earned degree due to a boycott on assessments. We are sure that lecturers do not wish th is senario to happen anymore than students themselves, which is why we should give them our support and get this crisis resolved as quickly as possible . The lecturers give us all the help they can in our studies, so it is only fair we return their support.

But lecturers must remember that the mai n part of their job is to teach and encourage students. The threat of unmarked wo rk does little to encourage motivation in students towards their degrees.

appreciate their existence. And so. with the advent of the AUT strike acti on . now wou ld seem the opportun e time to remtnd lectur· ers tn whatever small way. th at we support them 1n thetr action one hundred percent. lt would be easy for students to complam about how the boycott on assessment will affect their degrees Jnd I know 11 concerns every single one of us. Yet amongst students I have discovered unending support fo r the lecturers' deciston and as a final year student. find many lecturers them· selves doing thetr utmost to ensure that I. and others li ke me. are affected as little as possible by what they see as drastic action. reluctantly taken. lt is tremendous that even today, wtth universtty becomtng more of a business than ever before. students and

CONCRETE

Short changed

Editor Jim Wha lley Deputy Ed itors Ruth Charnock and Rebecca Lawrence

In the latest of ou r political colum ns, Sam Webbe r looks at the fiasco caused by Claire Short's accusations against th e Goverment and what this means for To ny Blair's future

Sssshhhhhhhhh?

spied on the United Nations Secretary General Kofi Annan .

The potential probl em for Short is that she is almost definitely in breach of the Official Secrets Act, and even more importantl y she has broken her Privy Counsellor oath . The outbu rst on Radio 4 wa s in response to the recent case of Katharine Gun, a former tra nslator at the Government Communications Headquarters (GCHQ) in Chel tenh am. who admitted to breaking the Official Secrets Act by leaking a controversial document to the Observer newspaper.

Th e case agatnst her was dropped. Many cn tt cs of the government including leading Tones and Ltb Dems put lhts down to Blatr stmply wanting to avo td publishi ng hts legal advtce regardmg the war As this row drags on. it is likely that the votces calltng for the Attorney Generars advtce to be publtshed wtll only get louder Whtlst publicatton would ':le an unprecedented move. 11 wou ld clear the atr at Westminster. which IS ~ow somewhat potsonous wtth susptcton.

Mtss Short MP for Btrmmgham Ladywood is likely to face a strong reprimand from the

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Gover'lment. or at worst wtll have the Labour whtp •.vtlhdrawn. I fear the alter wtll not occur. as thts could cause further senous outbursts. Cnltcs of the former Cabtnet 'Tltntster have satd clearly that rat11er than calltng nto questton the legality of the war. for which she voted tn the House of Commons last yea r. she wants the Prtme Ministe(s head on a plate. and wt ll settle for nothing less Cabinet Secretary. Sir Andrew Turnbul l has even written to Ms Short. warnmg her that he has the full authority of th e Crown to fu rther investigate any allegations made in the future. She simply dispelled this as "a threat...

The government's announcement that Ms Short is to meet with the Labour Chief Whip Hillary Armstrong came in the same week that 'Show trials' were mentioned as a potential test for Labour rebels.

I fear the governm ent is beginning to worry about these rebels, coupled with the equally clear fact that they are destined to lose a number of seats at the next general election. Th is is alm ost guaranteed as the Torys gain greater credibility under Michael Howard and the Lib Dems attract further support due to their ca uttous stance on the wa r on Iraq . Tony Blair is m no uncertain terms clampi ng down on those tn hts party who seek to undermine hts leadership

Photogra phers Gareth Davtes Contributing Editor Toby Lewts Featu res Editor Toby Brunt Fashion Editor Hannah Wa lker Sports Editors Tom Czaban Proof Reading Beth Settle, Lizzie Brien. Sarah Tooze Adve rtising Manager Ben Millar Distribution Manager Joe Dunthorne

Politics m lhts country is as interesting as ever. The government. havtn g done what 11 set out to do tn Iraq. now wts hes to return to thetr public servtce reform agen da However as I see 11. the tssue of the war. the preparaltons for 11. as well as tls aftermath wtll keep reanng :ts ugly head much to the dtsmay of the Pnme Mt tster and hts Cabin et col leagues

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INSIDE:

Why won't Tony Blair let us see the small of his back?

THE ENQUIRER AT THE MOVIES

The Passion of the Christ reviewed

UEA students kept on their toes by series of deadly, hidden traps Fear. One word, four letters; but a whole lotta heartache. In recent weeks the hapleu, often tactless, students of UEA have fallen rictlm to a series of deranged and often hilarious deaths at the hands of some Vaudeville prankster setting guerrUla-JJ.ke ldll traps in, and indeed around, campus; 'Fear' has become just another word in our vocabulary, much JJ.ke 'Muff' or 'Deaths'.

Deaths laid accountable to Punjl traps have risen a Temarkable 15 percent In Waveney Terrace over the last six months, leading one in-house tutor to gasp, as his lungs were pieced by a thousand sharpened chopsticks laid at the bottom of a hollowed out carpeting tile, "Punji traps, I ask you, these students are a crazy bunch!" One foreign student, from Sweden, a Northern

European country often seen hanging around Ftnland, found % of her leg sheared off by a razor-toothed bear trap lain hidden in front of the EAS pigeon Holes. Ecology students attending Professor Fltz Insider's Thursday seminar on rotating coffee breaks were shocked and awed to find their tutor encased in a strange soundproof, plastic box, dropped on the forthrtght prof. as he entered the classroom - luckily for us all, Fltzy mi!Dliged to fill out the two hour discussion time with a rather gay turn of charades. that by all accounts, had many attendants positively stunned.

The Dean of Deans, speaking upside down after falllng victim to a simple tree-based rope rabbit-trap had this to say: "I may be of weak mind and unsound body, but incontinence didn't stop me running the Great London

Marathon, and I'll be hanged if whoever did this gets away with it! At the least I'll cancel their bloody library privileges!"

Shittlng ourselves in fear may indeed seem a positive course of action, but Campus Security Chief Greg Chuff remains more hopeful, despite having no naffing clue who may be perpetrating this mischief; "My advice is to lock your doors, keep an eye out for any grand pianos lingertng dangerously overhead, and, if you're sure the coast Is clear ... then. take the time to consider shittlng yourself."

Sound advice. Keep to your beds uni children -We may still outlast this delirtous campaign of terror! (sadly. our reporter Tippy Rowbottom was caught out unexpectedly by a well hidden Trebuchet device that catapulted his heavenly body into the stratosphere mere seconds after flnlshing this article - ED.)

BEHAVE YOURSELVES Crime figures go through the floor as everything is legalised

In response to criticisms about campus security the UEA authorities have decided

by a unanimous decision to decrimlnallse crime on campus. Any crimes being committed on campus will 'not count' and all those whinging moaners will have to find something else to bleat on about.

"Just think of the crtme figures." Said union bigwig Frank Franco tomorrow "They are going to plummet right down to zero. making UEA the most lawful place in Britain and making Norwich look like a rural ghetto, except with more pubs and less semi automatic weapons. No one wlll be able to commit any crtmes, the authorities are happy, I am happy, everyone's happy, except possibly the victims of violent muggtngs and vicious stick

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beatings. but you can't please everyone."

Critics of the move say that legalising crime wlll lead to anarchy, and that nobody wants that. except anarchists. Alternatives like public floggings and hired goons armed with baseball bats were dismissed as being 'too expensive' especially as the Goons union Insisted on all goons being made custom 'I am an angry bald man' T -shirts.

Experts predict that vigilante groups will rise up as a result of the measure, worrying some campus residents but post graduate student Dave Beard has only praise for the whole policy.

"Let's face it, vigilantes are cool. Batman Is a vigilante isn't he? Cool gadgets, the batmobile and Catwoman in a PVC outfit?

Yum ... I need a cold shower."

Holy Halls of residence Batman. Other locals like 'Big' Vincent Larson and John 'Five Bellies' Muldoon say the move wlll mean more small businesses. Which is good.

"I have been looking to shift this illegal porn for ages." Said the lecturer earlier today.

"But they even banned it in Amsterdam. This Is good news for me, and I know Ronnie wants to shift that Crack shipment. Now he can set up a brothel at the same time."

Well there you have it. Proof. if proof be needed, that the measure should be extended throughout the country and one day the world.

Dave Beard Is 47 and sports Impressively long facial hair.

It's the most controversial film of the year and, though it won't be out in the UK unW later this month, The UEA Enquirer was able to obtain an advance copy of Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ. Using our network of top, under-the-counter, car-boot vendors, we've seen the movie one Mllwaukee &randmother described as "not as good as I was expecting."

In short. we're appalled, scandalised, shocked; hurt, astounded, sickened; aghast, horrified, disgusted. This Is the most cynical mis-use of a sacred religious text since Herbie Rides AgairL Glbson has taken the final twelve hours of Christ's life and twisted them almost beyond recognition.

Throughout the filming process rumours of historical inaccuracies were rife; however, the full extent of the changes exceeds all our worst fears.

Principle amongst these must be the filmmakers' decision to set the story in 20th Century Los Angles. Though this wlll clearly make it an easier sell to the American public, the knock-on effects are considerable. For instance, Jesus was a carpenter, not a maverick detective in the LAPD. Some may argue this Is the profession a modern-day Jesus would have chosen, but for this reviewer, watching the Son of God brandishing firearms was an uncomfortable experience.

The casting is no less unorthodox. Jet Ll wlll surely have a long and distinguished career in Hollywood, but not playing Roman generals. Watching him here. it Is blatantly obvious why The Bible never featured kung fu. More understandable but equally flawed is Joe Pesci as Judas; Iscar!ot may genuinely have had slap-stick qualities, but making him an adorable clown severely dilutes the power of his actions. Danny Glover and Chris Rock do their best as Murtaugh and Butters, though it's hard not to ask where the other nine Disciples are.

Finally. Gibson in the role of Christ is completely wrong. He delivers his lines with a manic, crazy energy that Is utterly inappropriate. While the seriousness of the role has been lessened by the decision (and I hope this Isn't giving too much away) not to have Christ die at the end, having him repeatedly announce "I'm getting too old for this shit" Is highly insensitive.

The Passion of the Christ Is the worst kind of Hollywood film making. Turning a text this important to billions of people into a buddy-cop movie is a terrible mistake. They might as well have called it Lethal Weapon 4.

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Page 16

Wedn esday, Ma rch 10, 2004

Fashion

Cotcntt

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The 76th Annual Academy Awards should have had tears, diamonds and plenty of ill-advised outfits. Instead, we got bridalwear, boring black and Diane Keaton in leather gloves. Ruth Charnock takes a look back at the Oscar outfits and asks - where has all the bling gone?

he Academy Awards red carpet parade has always been an excuse to laugh at the multitudinous sartorial cock-ups of those silly rich folks in La La Land . In keeping with our expectations for the ceremony itself, we expect controversy, hyperbole and most of all, glamour. We want long trains, plenty of cleavage, hair that defies gravity and

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plenty of ice. Maybe a daring cut-away or two.

After all, this is the biggest night in the Hollywood film industry, a town that (we imagine) lives every day in glorious technicolour (when it hasn't passed out from taking too many Ouaaludes) .

Faces need to be Botoxed - freezing eyes in that all important "you mean I've won?'' expression.

Teeth need to be bleached to match the hair. For

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I'M DRIVING!

the ladies, (and the men with a predilection for heels- Tom Cruise, you know who you are ... ), feet need to be injected with collagen to protect against the rigours of the red carpet crawl and the riotous after-show posing.

With billions of viewer's eyes upon them, not to mention the withering assessments of their eonominees, the pressure on the stars to choose the most fabulous outfit must be unbearable.

Admittedly, not unbearable in the way that Japanese water torture would be unbearable, but the rigours of starvation, exercise and plucking must leave them feeling pretty depleted by the time the big day comes around. Thank Oscar for cocaine, eh?

This year was championed as a return to a highoctane glamour after last year's absent red carpet and political undertones. Pretty much everyone wore black last year, apart from J-Lo who came over all Greek goddess and popped a green sheet on. it was Jackie Onassis' though, so that made it okay. So this year the anticipation of extra frivolity was almost palpable. We turned on the t.v expecting suits on back to front (Celine Dion,

We wanted va-va voom, too much cleavage and shoes that cost more than the GNP of Andora.

If you're serious about passing I'm serious too !

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2000), swans (Bjork, 2000) and ill-advised cellophane choices (Cher every year) . We wanted a presenter that changed ridiculous outfits with every award, a la Whoopi Goldberg. We wanted va-va-voom, too much cleavage and shoes that cost more than the GNP of Andora.

Instead, what did we get? Billy Crystal wearing too much Botox and too little bling. Renee Zellwegger wearing a wedding dress. Uma Thurman wearing a tea-towel mauled by a washing machine, wrapped with a belly dancer's cast off glittery accoutrements. Jamie Lee Curtis wearing one of those nasty old lady sarongs, complete with well-tied knot.

Where was Gwyneth in something inappropriately see-through? Why were the major female players wearing outfits from Brides-4-U? The culprits: Renee (virgin bride), Nicole (anorexic Victorian bride) , Sandra (ostrich-feathered bride) , Angelina (psycho bride) and Annie Lennox (bias- cut no good for big hips bride) . Strange coincidence: none of these women are actually married , but looked fit for some horribly saccharine Mills & Boon cover, entitled maybe 'Meeting Mr. Right' .

Where was the style? These are all beautiful women with, one would think, enough sartorial sawy to create a head-turning ensemble that wouldn't make them look as if they were part of a

mass bid for red carpet banality. Thank God then, for Samantha Morton who waved her pom-poms for the 50s prom queen, wearing vintage Givenchy, without looking like a vomitous sugarplum confection (exhibit A: gushing Gywneth Paltrow in Ralph Lauren, 1999). Another who is far too kooky and, let's face it, old to capitulate to those evil brides was Diane Keaton. Yes, she was wearing leather driving gloves. Yes, she was wearing two-tone winkle-pickers that were probably 1920s originals. Yes, she was wearing a tie and a bowler hat. She looked like a bizarre crossbreed between a Jazz Age chauffeur and Tom Petty. lt was fabulous.

Of course, Keaton has always shimmied eccentrically in the face of Oscar conformity. Remember 1978 when she won fo r 'Annie Hall'? No? She wore a cravat, an over-sized blazer and a nasty perm, ensuring that, when she stepped up to the podium she looked more like a hapless librarian than an Oscar-winning actress.

The problem with this year's outfits is that the ladies were caught between an image of themselves as virginal angels of purity (Uma was part of th is category with her odd floaty ki mono thing) and pretension s to old Hollywood glamour. In the latter category we had Catherine Zeta-Jones, who would love to be Sophia Loren if it didn't mean getting dirty. Then there was Oprah , who seemed to have been engulfed by a giant dull silver envelope. The men wore suits. That pretty much covered it - apart from Peter Jackson who looked as if his suit was wearing him and wasn't at all happy to be wrapped around his dishevelled corpulent frame. plea for next year - bring back Cher. She always wears something hideous, woven out of three pieces of thread and her headwear alone manages to obscure the view of the stage for those sitting 3 rows back. Which is how it should be. After all, no-one actually goes to the Oscars to watch the show.

A

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, March /0, 2004

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HOROSCOPES CANCER This week will be full of smiles and sex for you lovely Cancerians, (especially if you are Irish). In addition to the extreme smugness brought by your love life, the stars also highlight some exiting advances in your career. The letter J and oomber 20 bring you untold happiness.

TAURUS

L-...;..~.........;.....:.....~

Unfortulately the best laid plans rarely work. You will not have sex.. You wiU not even get a whiff of a Ste11a stained shag at the LCR. Don't wony though you stil have nice cloChes and a nice smile. Be weary of Germans with bad haircuts. Eat lots of cheese.

CAPRICORN GIRLS: A tal dark handsome stranger sweeps you off yolW feet, buys you <lamonds. takes you for dinner and then !j\18 you the best sex of you lite.

Then you wil sit up, wipe the slobber from your computer screen. and ay.BOYS: Despefate Capricorn gir1s are everywhere. Score!

AQUARIUS

A dashing Gemini remains U1atlainable as ever but your life will improYe when you reaise what is really ~ to you. I am not going to tell you what this is, where is the fLWl in that?! Go find out.

Clue: it is not the Gemini, he is probably gay.

G Is this the best sign in the entire zodiac? I think it might be! You are fuR of energy this week on ac:x:ount of aU the sex you wi . be getting - you are so fabulous. I am not biased. just perceptive. How do you think I got this job?!

VIRGO There is no need for you to panic. So you may have a dissertation to start and finish in a matter of days but at least you have nice teeth. Watch out for an unexpected person behind an unexpected door. l..JJdc brushes past you in GAP.

UBRA Oh my god!

Wlfi don't you just shut up get on with things. People around you are getting very tired of your constant whining. Stop worrying about the rninger you pulled at the LCR last week, everybody has done it Get over yourself LEO Yes, you are very pretty, if only people could see your face maybe they would appreciate it rnore. lherefore, please remove your head from where it rurrently is, and start being nice to people around you, especially the ones with black, brown or blonde hair.

ARIES A little goes a long way, which is fortunate for you because you will not really have a lot going for you this week. Drink much vodka and eat lots of chocolate. lt won't improve things, but it might help you forget this week ever happened.

PISCES You Pisceans are fickle creatures and this week more than ever. There is only one thing to do in order to make the decision process less stressful and demanding. Nothing. Thafs right, forget about the impending deadlines. eat chocolate, drink wine, sleep.

SAGITTARIUS This week is a very special one for all you archertype people. You must do something exciting and meet as many people as you can. Go dancing, shopping and take up new hobbies. Sleep is for pussies. Wlfi are you still here?! Go and live your life!

r - - - - - - , SCORPIO In every group of friends there

is

usually somebody who always ruins things for everybody else.

You guessed it, it is you. Wtry do you always have to upset people? Do not talk to anyone this week, you wi 1only make them ay. You are a very bad

~---~person.

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With the launch of the 2004 season taking place this week, Sarah Tooze looks at what the new season, and the sport in general, has to offer.

''s=~~~is

encountered when I've told people about my interest Well, for the less 'enlightened' sports fans among you, here are a lew facts: • Speedway bikes have a 500cc single cylinder engine but, unlike most motorcycles, no brakes and no gears.

• A fuRy tuned speedway bike will accelerate as fast as a Formula One car.

-In the immediate post-war years speedway was at its peak in Britain. Wembley Stadium was packed for the one-off World Rnal and

was the home of speedway for five decades.

• Today, speedway is still big news in countries like Poland and Sweden. Poland's highest paid sportsman, Tomasz Gollob, is a speedway rider.

• One of Sweden's sporting heroes is Tony Rickardsson, Rve-lime Speedway World Champion.

•The rurrent World Champion, Nicki Pedersen, has just won two of Denmark's most prestigious sports awards: 'Sports Name of the Year' and 'BTs Gold'. making him Denmark's equivalent of David Beckham or Jonny Wilkinson.

-England has had a Speedway Wor1d Champion more recently than Australia.

Maf1( Loram was crowned in 2000; the last Australian Champion in speedway was Jack Young in 1952 (but the Aussies are still more successful in the team events, winning the Speedway Wor1d Cup three times in the last five years.)

In the immediate post-war years Wembley Stadium was packed for the one-off Speedway World Final Speedway originated in Australia. The first meeting was held in New South Wales in 1923 at an agricultural event But the main leagues are now in Britain, Sweden, Poland and Denmark. Britain has three leagues: the Conference, the Premier and the Bite League. The Elite League is arguably the toughest speedway league in the wor1d and virtually all the Grand Prix stars compete in it lt is currently sponsored by Sky Sports and over thirty meetings are screened live during the season. The first meeting to be broadcast for the 2004 season will be on March 29 when Arena-Essex take on defending champions, Poole. Arena-Essex have just made the step-up from the Premier League and their team looks good, with the winter signing of Mark Loram. The other team to join the Elite League this year is Swindon who have world number four, Leigh Adams, leading their side. In the lower ranks of the team they have Oily Alien, a rider born and bred in Norwich.

There have been a few changes to team building this year and instead of a points limit, teams are constructed by a grading system. Also new for the 2004 season is the introduction of air fences, or Air Tek air protection barriers, as they will be known in the Elite League. Air fences have been a

popular innovation in the Grand Prix series.

Remember, these guys are riding at fast speeds without brakes and crashing usually means injury. Having an air fence takes away some of the

impact Last season, a young Argentinean rider suffered severe back injuries when riding at Berwick's fastpaced 368 metre track.

Though fatalities are rare they are not unheard of in the sport and any steps towards improving rider's safety The British Grand Prix at Cardiff's Millennium Stadium are welcomed. .

No doubt Australia's Ryan Sullivan is one of shale. All within the space of a week! the riders wishing air fences were more What's more, the event attracted fans from widely used. Last year his bid to become all over. Now, on average, a crowd of Wor1d Champion was blighted by a number 40,000 can be expected at the Millennium of injuries- each obtained in league meetStadium for speedway. One main aclvanings in Sweden. He suffered a broken coltage is the fact that the stadium has a roof larbone in April and then in July he crashed - crucial for speedway given that Britain's again, this time breaking a bone in his back tendency for rain can lead to a meeting and severely burning his arm. Did this stop being called-off. him from riding? Hey, this is speedway not If you're a speedway novice the British football! Most riders, particularly ones on Grand Prix is a great event to go and the world championship trail, patch up their watch, mainly because of the incredible injuries and get back on the bike. Still, an atmosphere. TICkets for the Grand Prixs are injury can affect a rider's performance. a bit pricey though: ranging from £25-£60 Presuming Sullivan stays injury free he is for adults. League meetings are cheaper one of the tips for the wor1d championship and most tracks do student discounts, so crown this year. Others to look out for expect to pay about £7. Another big event on the speedway calendar this year is the include Sullivan's compatriot. Jason Crump Speedway Wor1d Cup being held in (son of speedway legend, Phi! Crump) and of course, speedway supremeo, Tony England. Ifs a four-day event but is only Rickardsson. Pedersen can't be discounted being staged at two tracks, Eastbourne and either and nor can Britain's hope, Scott Poole. If you live on the south coast then I Nicholls. If the wor1d championship is anyrecommend you go to the Wor1d Cup meetings in August or alternatively catch them thing like last year, it will be diffiCUlt to prediet an overall winner. Last season, over on Sky Sports. Lefs hope Team GB can nine rounds, there were seven different repeat the success of England's rugby winners, with only Sullivan and Crump winteam! ning two GP's.

The Grand Prixs are broadcast live between May and October on Sky Sports.

Channel Four show an hour long highlights programme the week after each GP. This year the series will see riders travelling to Stockholm (May 1st). Prague (May 15th), Wroclaw (May 29th), Cardiff (June 12th), Copenhagen (June 26th), Gothenburg (August 21st), Krsko (September 4th), Bydgoszcz (September 18th) and Hamar (October 2nd). rguably the biggest event on the calendar is the British Grand Prix.

Cardiff's Millennium Stadium became the home of the British Grand Prix in 2001 when Benfield Sports International decided it was time for speedway to hit the big time.

Admittedly, some fans (including myself) didn't think they could pull it off. To start with the Millennium Stadium doesn't have a speedway track! Plus it has a 75,000 seating capacity and the average speedway league meeting attracts 2,000 fans. But, with the help of track expert Ole Olsen, part of the pitch was removed and a temporary track was laid down, using 1,800 tonnes of

....

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A

2003 Wortd Champion, Nicki Pedersen Useful Web Sites:

• www.skysports.com/skysportsl speedway (full T.V. scheduling and news) • www.brltlsh-speedway.co.uk (details of tracks, fixtures and results) • www.speedwaygp.com/newhome/ (Information on the Grand Prix and Wortd Cup meetings and purchasing

tickets)

....

\\t>cbudll\', March /0. 2004

a

Co1CI'ttt

0

EA horse riders use their home advantage to see off rivals and canter to victory CARLA LAWSON

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Having rearranged the UEA hosted BUSA Horse Riding competition due to the snow at the end of January, it seemed luck was against UEA-the only day to complete the competition before the deadline was Friday 13th.

Uut the side ,.,eemed unpelturbed bv this fnctor .111d put their home adv;m t.1ge to full use. Competing against the current titleholders Leicester and rivals Loughborough was always expected to be tricky.

Nevertheless, the dressage round,

which comp.tres e,1c h uni\ c r,.,1ty lt l!l1 members riding ahilitv. saw UE1\ in good shape The shO\\ jumpinh was exciting to say the least. the horses were in high spirits in the warm up arena and felt the need to race each other rull of c·nerR_v they seemed intent on randomly jumping in to the air.

Nonetheless L.EA gained control ot the hor·,.,es extra energy and used it to their advantage, sealing victory in the jumping round. It was a supe-rb perform<mce with the side fmishing way ahead of their competitors.

Trailing in UEA's wake were Loughborough who finished second

tollowed bv Le~tester back•n~ up the rear in last place Between orgnmsing and cheering the team on, President Helen Andrew·s n·nt,Hked. ·rrs grent to see the tt'rtm in action Competitions are usuallv held so far away at other universitie-s Tl]{' team rode to a hi~h standard and fully dPsern· to win".

Team Captain Cara Lawson added, "it was a brillinnt dny. We nll had fun and it goes to show the training we've all put in really paid off " UEA team members Emma Swarbrick and Calle Henrik excelled by achieving second and tl1ird individual placings respectively.

Whats best and worst in Sport today. ..

Tom Czaban looks at the burnmg issues

Nowhere to Hide .....

Norwich's favourite boxing son, Herbie Hide could be back in action again next month with negotiations under way for a match-up against Danny Williams.

The British heavyweight fight looks set to be shown on the BBC, some time in April, although the venue is yet to be named The proposed bout would be a massive grudge match and a big boost for the British heavyweight scene. Since Lennox Lewis's retirement in February fans of British Boxing have expressed their concern about the lack of British talent in the heavyweight division .

Questions have been raised about the championship credentials of British contenders. Hide, Williams and Audley Harrisson. Previously this trio had balked facing one another, seemingly content to throw verbal punches. However, with interest in the British heavyweight scene beginning to dwindle they seem to have finally realised that it's time to put up or shut up The fight 1s a huge one for both Boxers. Williams needs to kickstart his career having lost the British crown to Michael Sprott in January. While Hide's comeback has not been of the explosive nature that boxing fans in Norwich were hoping for.

The fact that there is a rift between Hide and Williams has been well publicised in the media. ln fact such is the bad feeling that the British Boxing Board of Control may take the unusual step of writing to each fighter to remind them of their responsibilities ahead of the contest The disagreement began following a sparring session in which Williams claims to have knocked Hide to the canvas.

Since then thirty one year old Hide, has attempted to attack Williams during a press conference and belittled his Boxing ability at every media opportunity.

With so much at stake it promises to be a wonderful occasion and a great fight. So let's get behind Hide and see him return some pride to Norfolk and British Heavyweight Boxing.

Extra pressure for Houllier Cara Lawson negotiates a fence on a horse named Rea who performed superbly on the day.

-

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Every supporter has the right to express his concerns about the running of his chosen football club. However, the treatment of Gerard Houllier by some mindless fans over the past few weeks has been a disgrace to British sport.

Two weeks ago vulgar insults were scrawled on the wall of Liverpool's training ground. Photographs of this were splashed across the back pages of the national papers and were met with dismay by all involved with the game.

However, as if this was not bad enough, it has now come to light that the French Boss also received a death threat by post two weeks before this. Houllier told the press : "l did not tell anyone because I did not want anyone to worry."

Well l am worried . My concern is that the ignorant supporters culpable of these threats will ruin the image of British footbal ; JUst as many were finally beginning to forget the actions of the thugs that led to England's lengthy European ban. lt is understandable that some Liverpool fans feel aggrieved at their side's mediocre performances in recent months. But Houllier is not solely to blame for the poor run of results as Liverpool centre-back Sammy Hypia suggested this week: "Everyone has to take responsibility for what has happened this season." lt is a sad fact for Liverpool fans that since Houllier took the re1gns of the club in 1998 the side have failed to maintain a Premiership title challenge in the face of the likes of Manchester United and Arsenal.

However, there are legitimate ways for supporters to vent their frustrations at the running of the club. And threatening to kill the manager is not one of them.

"Quote" of the week. "l feel like a drunken man who doesn't have a drink. I've never known a Groundhog Day like this and I'll have to go and see the film to find out what it's all about."

David Pleat is at it again, having watched his Tootenham side surrender a 3-1 lead against Leices er to draw 4--4.

c..a.t. Wednesday, March 10, 2004

sport

Page 19

Men's Hockey First XI lose their BUSA quarter-final tie but the UEA ladies book their place in the semis IAN SMITTON

The magic of the cup was absent as Newcastle comprehensively beat UEA 5 -l on a bitterly cold February afternoon. Having spent over five hours travelling down to Norwich, Newcastle were in n o mood to lose t o a team from a lowe r division.

Therefore, in spite of sloppy passing early on. it was something of surprise when UEA took the lead after five minutes. Tom Crook excellently drilled the ball in to the net from John Dawson's short corner. Unfortunately, that was as good as it got for UEA as Newcastle began to assert thetr authority on the game.

Pressure paid off for Newcastle in the twelfth minute when the always dangerous Jan Cobberg displayed some scintillating stick work before firtng home the equaliser. The away side took the lead five minutes later With a simple finish from Frank Ellis and never looked like throWing it away.

Indeed, a Newcastle Win was

all but confirmed on the stroke of half time With Richard Julian securing a 31 lead folloWing a scrappy penalty corner.

It is hard to be critical of the home team considering the superior quality in the Newcastle side.

However, having gatned promotion, UEA will need to be able to hold thetr own against such opposition next season. To do this, they Will almost certainly need to concede fewer than the eighteen penalty corners that Newcastle were granted.

The second half left spectators With stiff-necks such was the dominance of Newcastle in UEA's half.

However, only two goals were added to the score; Mike Ripon in the 55th minute and the dubiously named 'Jimi' Hill seven minutes later.

Despite some 'Houllieresque' bemoaning about the injury ravished squad; UEA captain, Torn Crook, was gracious in acknowledging that Newcastle were the better team and fully deserved thetr victory.

Unfortunately, that was as

good as it got for Newcastle as well; such Is the disparity between teams in University hockey, that Newcastle were comfortably beaten in the quarter finals by Sheffield Hall am.

UEA meanwhile. despite defeat in the shield, can now reflect on a very successful season where they achieved promotion In great style. dropping just two points all season.

SUZANNEJOHNSON

The UEA Ladies first XI confirme d t heir place in the quarter finals of t h e BUSA Championship Shield knock out Competition on Wednesday 25th February with a c onvincing 4-0 win over Derby University.

UEA opened the game strongly and were rewarded With Wendy Brown scoring a goal in the first 5 minutes.

But unfortunately this goal was not allowed to stand as the ball broke in two as it spun across the line.

UEA were however. unphased by this cruel decision and continued to work well together. They demonstrated some fantastic passessional play. which has been a strong part of thetr game all season.

It was then deserved when on the counter attack. Alex Smith calmly finished off a one on one With the goalkeeper to put UEA 1-0 up.

UEA however, did not take their foot off the gas.

FolloWing a series of short corners and dominating play, Smith then scored her

C liUI/ C-C1135

second to make the score 2-0 to UEA at half time.

The second half saw UEA pick up where they left off.

Derby were finding it difficult to cope With thetr attacking play, seeing very little of the ball.

Having won a series of short corners it was no surprise that the third goal came from a set-piece- an accurate push out by Gemma Nicholls was stopped cleanly by Suzie Johnson and slipped through by Captain Nat Hull to Samantha Hawktns who fooled the keeper with a superb shot that went in at the far post.

UEA were by now cruising and superb work by Sam Neate in midfleld set up Smith for her third. and UEA's fourth goal of the day.

Derby did create a few chances but UEA's keeper Jemma Staveley along With solid defending from Hull.

Johnson, Ellie Bowers and All Chisolm made sure that UEA kept a clean sheet.

The UEA ladies now travel to Manchester first team hoping to gatn a place in the semifinals.

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UEA Fencers fight their way in to the semi-final of the BUSA shield competition.

THOM SMITH

The UEA fencing team continues its campaign in the BUSA shield competition this week, with the semifinal matches taking place in the Sportspark on Wednesday, March 10.

In order to get in to the semi finals however, the team has fought two regional league matches. and faced the first two shield sides, Surrey and Kings College.

After having an unbeaten run last semester against Birmingham, Cambridge, Staffordshire WarWick and Leicester Universities. the first match of the spring semester was against Nottingham University on February 4.

It was anticipated that this would be a very close match. and UEA eventually lost by the narrow margin of 134 to 115.

However. against the normally renowned sporting university, Loughborough, the team were victorious. In

one of the lowest scoring . matches of the league, UEA won With 135 points to Loughborough's 52.

Bu t unfortunately this was not enou gh to guarantee second p lace in the regional league, as though the team lost only one match this year, which should have given them second, on points difference the UEA team actually finished third behind Nottingham and Btrmingham.

The team carried on fencing in the BUSA shield however, where the first match was to

be against Surrey University.

S urrey however gave a walkover, alloWing UEA through to the quarter finals.

In the quarter finals, they faced the Kings College team on March 3. Fighting In a very closely contested match, which could have gone either way, UEA eventually won by the score of 135 to 128.

On March 10, the team is due to fight against Strathclyde University's team. If they Win there they will then go on to face either Edinburgh or Birmingham on March 20.

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SUCCESS FOR UEA ATHLETES DAVE MCKINLAY

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Three athletes from the UEA Athletics team participated in the Eastern Counties & Norfolk County Indoor Championships on the Sunday 22nd of February.

On a bitterly cold day Andrew Mccullagh won both his heat and then the final in the senior men's 60m event.

He recorded a time of 7.2 seconds. enou~h to gain two gold medals.

Matthew Turner a lso excelled in the same event.

He llnished fifth in his heat with a personal best of 7.9 seconds.

Andrew Mccullagh came second in the senior men's long jump. His best distance of the day was 6 .06 metres.

This fantastic j ump was a new UEA indoor record and helped Mccullagh pick up two silver medals.

Also amongst the medals was Louise Cook. She claimed two silvers in the senior ladies shot putt.

Her best throw was measured at a huge 8.46 metres.

However, there was still more to come. Following this success Cook then went on to receive a silver and a bronze medal for her exerts in the senior ladies long jump.

Her best recorded j ump was measured at 4.60 metres.

This was indeed a fantastic performance. but this j ump was no surprise considering the consistency she has s hown this season.

UEA Pirates lose to Cardiff in rescheduled playoff following accident The UEA Pirates were knocked out of the the British Collegiate American Football League play-offs on Wednesday with an 8-0 defeat in Cardiff.

But the real victory was that the game was played at all.

The match was originally scheduled for the 29th February but travel plans fell victim of extreme snow in Cambridgeshire.

With visibility down to roughly 50m, and untreated road surfaces, the b us was forced to jacknife to avoid being involved in an accident.

This looked to be the end of the Pirates play-off hopes but a reprieve was found in the form of a re-arranged game on Wednesday.

A trip to Birmingham in the Divisional Round was the reward awaiting the victors.

But in the end , having to travel seven hours on the day of the game,proved to be too much for UEA. Although they fell at the first hurdle of the playoff race the side must be applauded for their stirling effort to get the game played at all, and particular credit must go to the committees of both s ides fo r all their hard work.

UEA reached this stage of the competition despite a 44-6 defeat away to Hertfordshire on the 22nd February : results went their way elsewhere and they went through by virtue of a wildcard .

Things didn't look good for UEA at Hatfield when s tar running back Rich Barnard left the game with a burst bruise in his left arm after one play. They then took a turn for the worse when the Hurricanes' veteran Andy

Cochrane rumbled over for a score in their first series.

Rookie Martin Ray gave the Pirates some respite when he took the ensuing kickoff back 74 yards for the first kick return touchdown in the club's history, But it was all in vain: the three-time national champions and reigning conference champions turned the screw.

They went on to score five more unanswered touchdowns in severe winds and light snow.

Despite this defeat and the narrow loss in Cardiff it has been a fantastic season for the Pirates. Although they will be disa ppointed at losing in the playoffs they can take solace in the fact that they fmished the regu lar season with their best r ecord since 1997, and the third best in the team's history.

~: E-MAIL SPORTS REPORTS TO SU.CONCRETE@UEA.AC.UK -路

Concrete Prize Crossword #52

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ACROSS

DOWN

1) 2) 5) 7)

1) 路... Holiday' Film starring Audrey Hepburn (5) 3) Transparent (5) 4) Cary ... (5) 6) Fuel (4) 7) 'Romeo and ... 路 (7) 8) Style of type (4) 9) Insect (3) 10) Subdue (6) 14) Type of whale (4) 15) Type of Boat (5) 17) Coverted Film Award(5) 18) Fruit (4)

Large Bird (5)

Norwich Nightclub (5) Music Award (7) Country in Asia (5) 8) Level (4) 11) Alone (4) 12) Film Theatre (6) 13) Famous Puppet (5) 16) Winged Insect (4) 19) Tells time (5) 20) Creeper Plant (3) 21) Improvement (6) 22) Morcambe and ... . (4)

Set by Sarah

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:There 's a selection of singles up for grabs for I completion of the crossword. Fill in your name :and a contact number ore-mail address below :and bring it up to the office within the next two :weeks. Have fun.

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