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A LONG TIME COMING FOR SOME, BUT STUDENT LOANS ARE FINALLY ARRIVING Beck;y Wiltshire The crisis surrounding student loans seems to be calming down after a new computer system was beset with problems at the Student Loans Company (SLC) .

Concrete reported on the crisis at the start of the year which had left thousands of students throughout the country wondering when they -were going to receive their payments.

Anna Steward, LIT3 , did not receive her loan until two

weeks ago, but is optimistic, "At least it's come in time for Christmas".

Concrete spoke to Linda Shepherd, the Deputy Dean of Students, who told us "for those that have been involved it's been horrible.

The worst thing has been the lack of information." She explained the students had had trouble tracking their loans online and some students reported problems with the accuracy of information given by the SLC. Helen Harvey said "although the loans company were not inefficient, they were not

particularly helpful and they did give me the wrong information a couple of times. " Not all students were critical of the SLC though. Kevin second year Rowe, a Computer Science student told Concrete "I found the service good" but went on to explain "I was probably bllnkered by the joy my loan was finally coming through and I could begin to live properly."

The problems were not restricted to the SLC, however, with some students LEAs proving d([ficult SeePage 4

THE 'FINE CITY'' HOPES TO BE A 'FAIR CITY' AS FAIRTRADE IN NORFOLK CONTINUES THE CAMPAIGN Laura Palmer The Insurance group Norwich 路Union and local confectioner Caley's of Norwich have pledged their support to Fairtrade in Norfolk, a local action group who are campaigning to

make Norwich a Falrtrade city.

Falrtrade city status Is awarded by the Fairtrade Foundation to cities that use and promote products carrying the FAIRTRADE mark which is said to guarantee a fair deal for producers in third world countries who might otherwise receive a very low price in exchange

for their goods.

There are currently 71 Falrtrade towns and cities across the United Kingdom and over two hundred others are working towards achieving Falrtrade status.

Both Caley's 路 and Norwich Union promote the benefits of buying Fair Trade products and offer fairly traded refreshments to their

staff.

Roger King who Is one of Caley's' directors said the decision to sell Fair Trade goods was based on customer demand.s as well as a moral obligation: "Everyone wants to make a profit but we think it Is Immoral to do so at the cost of others."

Noting the success of the Coop supermarket chain who

support Fair Trade, he added "There is a growing trend for people to want Fair Trade products" and confirmed that Caley's will soon introduce a Fair Trade chocolate bar.

Jane Rooza, Executive Member for the Environment on the city council, said : "Having such well-known businesses as Caley's and

Norwich Union join in is a real boost for the campaign" Students are also Involved in a bid to make UEA a Fair Trade unlv~trslty.

The Student Union promotes Fair Trade products such as tea, coffee and chocolate which are available from the bar and in the Hive.

SEED's camp us campaign See Page 7

2 concrete. news@ uea.ac. uk

www.concrete-online.com

From the

Editor co ncrete .editor@uea .ac .uk

LANDMARK ACTION BY THE INSTITUION ALLOWS FOR LCiB UNIONS Legal Editor

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we've had ecord numbers of contributors, and , while some of them are completely new to the paper, they 've done sterling work.

Anyone who's joined the society, but hasn't had the time or inclination to attend the meetmgs and take part in some w ay, I hope we 'll see you more next year. I hope our readers h ave e njoyed reading the p a p e r, we've enjoyed making it. This will be my last Editorial spot in the paper, as we ' ll be going back to the Concrete C o mment of yore . So, from e ve ryone here at Concrete, we hope you have a happy holiday and wish you the very best for the New Year.

There's plenty of writing about Christmas in this issue, so I thought I would talk more about the New Year. The juxtaposition between Christmas and New Year's Eve has always made a huge impact on me .

Christmas Eve is so quiet and peaceful, with a fascinating atmosphere; while the night before the New Year is full of activity and noise. So much so that, by the time you've woken up and recovered from a , usually horrendous, hangover it is easy to have forgotten what the whole thing was about.

It would be nice if I didn't state the obvious and go on about new beginnings, but I'm afraid I'll have to. It's easy to forget our potential, both individual and collective, and the potential that every day, let alone year, brings for the future . It's easy to forget that we have the capacity to change - our own lives, and the lives of others. It's important that we don't forget the possibilities. While it is hard to look at our society - in the local, national and global sense of the word- and recognise any ways in which we can make a difference, we must always remember that we can.

Another world is possible, as the saying goes. Many of us will go and get jobs where we are steeped in the existing bureaucracy and tradition of

he only problem is that there are large changes taking place, which have dire consequences for the capacity of an individual to have an impact on the future .

Sarn Webber's Political pie ce, on page 10, discusses the political implications of the Queen's speech. My personal feeling on the subject of h e r polemic about terrorism and the benefits of identity ca rds (an oxyrnoronic term, in this context), is purely a case of the ruling elite - the Government and the rich - closing ranks in reaction to widespread civil discontent.

We have to accept that this Government is intent on Americanising their politics, and running a campaign based on fear; whether such a campaign would h ave as big an impact on our society as it has had in the US, remains to be seen. Terrorism is a consequence of not having any courage to change things for the better. From this point of view, the thing we have to fear most are the actions or inactions of those in power, rather than the reactions of marginalised peoples.

The Iraq debacle, covered

by Nadia Bennich on page 11, certainly need not have gone so far, if the Government h ad listened to the feelings of the largest protest in British history. The Red Cross (and the Red Crescent) have taken an unprecedented step in speaking out against the conflict, calling it a major humanitarian catastrophe. The opinions of such a well-established and respected organisation should surely be heeded.

It 's easy to forget that the conflict in Iraq is still taking place. Many US, British and Iraqi lives, so over the holidays we should remember that there is suffering in the world and we can make a choice to end it.

T

Philip Sainty

Editor 2004 -05

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HOUSE OF LORDS CiRANT LIBERTIES JULIET HARRIS

the position, but we must remember that we have the capacity to change the things around us. Even small changes can make a large difference.

Concrete 11\-d"''"'"'"· n camher Jll

In a his toric eve nt last week . th e Hou se of Lord s passed th e Civil Pa rtn ers hips Act 2004. giving sa me-sex cou ples lhe cha nce to regis ter th eir pa rtners hip . Whilst not the sa me as a m a rriage . co u ples will b e given ma ny of th e same a ttach ed rights. s u ch as pens ions. l ax. tena nc ies a nd ac knowledge ment when i heir pa i·tiw r dies.

S upporters of th e Act a re es pecia lly relieved given it s troub led his tory a t bill s tage .

Upon th e bill reaching th e prima rily Co n se rv a tive Hou se of Lords. Ba ron ess O'Ca th a in a tte mpted to introdu ce a n a m e ndm e nt extending Iighls under the bill lo a llow fa mily members who have lived togethe1· for ove r 12 years to regis ter the ir pa rtnership. The rea s oning behind this was to give rights lo fa mily m em b ers who ca re for others that a rc ill. Howeve r. rcs pcclccl campai gning organisations such a s Stonewa ll a nd Carers UK argued that s uch an ame ndm ent would make the bill unworkable. as it

fa iled to fulfil th e need s of both carers and same-sex co uples. Th e pen s ion . lax a nd intestacy rights under the bill we re highly un s uit a ble for carers. in fact possi bly even resulting in a redu cti o n in be n e fit s in s ome cases. In s h ori . this was not lhc appropria te bill for s uch provis ions to be introduced .

Fu ri h en1101·c. c i-ilie is m was levelled at th e mot ive of th e Lords in introdu ci n g this a m en d ment. Fa r from magnanim ou s ly preventing di s crimina tion agains t carers. it was s uggested by num ero us co mme nta tors a nd so urces th a t th e ··wrec king a mend m ent"' was me re ly a n a tte mpt by a n ins titutiona lly homophobic Hou se of Lords lo dera il a law th a t wou ld fin a lly give ma ny same-sex co uples a c h a nce for th e legal recogniti on th a t they had wa iled yea r for.

Su ppo1·tc rs of I hi s view pointed to d ebates in th e I lou se leading up to the vole on th e bill . where h omosexu a lity was denounced by one peer as a n "unnatura l sexu a l prac tice··.

Howeve r. this am end m e nt was succes s fu lly removed by the House of

Commons. who passed th e bill by a n ove rwh e lming majority (by 3 89 votes to 4 7) .

On its final return lo th e Lords. the unamended bill was fina lly pass ed by 2 5 1 to 13 6 votes . "We' re delighted tha t the House of Lord has rebuffed those pee rs wh o indulged in offensive s neer ing al Bii tain's lesbia n and gay population ... said Ben Summerskill.

Stonewall Ch ie f Executive. "For th e firs t time. the front benches of all three major political

parties h ave ba cked equality for gay people. Tha t represe nts a huge ly pos iti ve cha nge. " Couples will be a ble lo register th eir partne rs hips und er Lhe Act from Autumn 2005 onwards. Upon receiving Roya l Assent. th e fin a l stage required to make an Act law. couples may hold civi l pa rtnerships ce r emoni es in exactly th e s a me ve nu es as current c ivi l wed clings. from regis try offices lo stately homes.

TACTICALLY FUNDINCi UNI EDUCATION Jessica Fielder Education Editor Despite the imminent introduction of top -up fees a nd much public debate abo ut finan cing High er Education. most Universities continue to m a ke a loss. Rece nt reports h ave shown th a t m any Universities h ave been forced to take questionable m easures in ord er to c rea te more money.

An Observe r re port in August told of Universities effectively taking money in exc hange for degrees.

Acco rdin g to th e re port.

American students are frequently awarded exceptiona l results regardl ess of the quality of th eir work becau se

U1e money they attract is hugely bene ficial. A department head at Bou r nemoulh University reporte d ly emailed staff requesting that they raise th e grades of stu d ents achieving marks of 38 or 39 to ma ke th em pass.

Better resu lts as a de partm ent were likely to increase app lican ts and have co nsequ ent effect on funding.

CAFAS . the Co un c il for Acad e mi c Freedom a nd Aca d emic Sta nd a rd s ha s said tha t a range of practises from plagiaris m and lecture rs writing stude nts' work to a warding passes to poo rly examined essays h ave a ll bee n tactfully igno red to ensure that students do not fail.

Friday th e 26th November 's Times Education Supplem e nt

quotes an a larmin g statistic: 25% of students a dmit to plagiarism. Much of tl1is is evidently being overlooked in order to improve resu lts.

What does it say about the Britis h Education system if money is forced to come before integrity?

An increase in ove rseas applican ts is a lso finan cia lly beneficial. For a business d egree. for example . an ove rseas student may pay as much as six tim es more Lhan a UK student (anything up to £30.000).

So m e Universities have recently been acc used of scra pping less popular departments in order to inc rease the num ber of places available on the types of courses that attract students from overseas.

The past few years has als o

s ee n a dramatic increase in th e numbe r of s tud ents s tudying in a postgraduate capacity. particularly in taught courses. These can be very luc rative for Un iversities a nd there is therefore likely to be a n increase in the variety of such cou rses ava ilable .

Som e lecturers have expressed co nce rns th at it is virtually impossible to fa il a Masters degree becau se the money th a t Lhese bring with them is fa r too important.

In Lhe long term . s tud ents will lose out if th eir grades and h ard work are discredited by a few Universities who bend th e rules to increase fund . There must be a way to finan ce High er Education without resorting to these drastic measures.

RETRACTION - SHORT CHANGE While Concrete endeavours to be accurate in the reporting of stori es, we regret to announce that there were large factual mistakes in the front page story of issue 169, produced on the 17th November 2 0 04.

The following information was inaccurate: "The football society had a lack of equipment" "Nightline's budget has been halved to £750" "The Rugby club have not h a d th eir transport paid" The Football society h a d not put in a funding request for equipment. and so the Union cannot b e held responsible for an issu e it was not aware of.

Nightline's budget for the year is £1.341: a drop of £159. clue to chalrs that were bought last year and do not need replacing.

The Union funds all transport for Sports clubs.

Concrete would also like to point out that the budget allocation for SCP's overall has increased by £22.359.

Concrete accepted the information given to reporters ln good faith, but was at fau lt in not ch ecking the information with the Union before printing. Concrete wou ld also like to issue an apology directly to Jan1es Drakeford. whose nan1e appeared with the article and who suffeed a lot of criticism as a resu lt

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4 concrete. news@ uea.ac.uk

www.concrete-online.com

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Cotcrtte Wednesday. December ! 51, 2004

HOW MUCH DO YOUR PARENTS KNOW? STILL PROBLEMS

WITH THE SLC

SURVEY REVEALS EXTENT OF DEBT HIDDEN BY STUDENTS Olly Haywood The NUS h as recently reported that £24.000 - a figure set to rise under the new top- u p fee scheme - is the average cost of a threeyear degree . including tuition fees. basic living costs . beer and anythi ng e lse vital to student life. Subtract a typical three-year student loan allowance from this figure - around £9/10.000 and it is easy to see that other sources of finance are essential.

While around 40% Of studen ts engage in part-time work at u niversity to ease the strain on the overdraft and the credit cards. pare nts seem to be the first port of call whe n funds are low.

55% of undergraduates have s aid that they rely on parents for financial help. which can range from help paying off a phone bill to payment of tuition fees. rent. even a monthly a llowance.

However. despite this apparen t genemsity towards their offspring. it seems that parents are not always given the full story. .

A recent online NUS survey s h ows that up to 36% of students h ide the extent of

their debt from their pare nts. Indeed . one anonymous source said that her paren ts are practically clu eless on the subject of her financial situation: "In my first year I managed to spend a ll my savings. use up my en tire £ 1000 overdraft. max my £500 credit card limit and deplete a £200 university loan in the space of around four months. My Dad was paying my tuition fees and rent so 1 felt bad and told him 1 hadn't even started u sing my overdraft. Th is backfired on me. since he obviously didn't think 1 needed any extra mon ey. In the end I had to start selling off my stuff on Inter net a u ction s ites. " Parents can be seen as the most reliable source of financial advice. with over 66% of students preferring to phone home when in financial difficulty as opposed to seek ing help from friends . tu tors or stu dent advisers. Accordingly.

37% of students choose to speak to their bank when in d iffic ul ty. eviden tly not wanting to break the bad news to anxious parents.

Surveys have shown that students are more con cerned about their student loan repayments than bills

on applicants in Norfo lk . working in close liaison with the Department for Education a n d Skills and the Student Loans Company."

The problems with the SLC haven 't been confined to loan payments. some students have reported problems when they've tried to pay their loans back. Dave Barker. a post graduate Law student. has had major problems with the com pany fo llowing changes with h is repayments. He explained "I've received a di ffe rent story each time I call." He is now writing to the SLC in the hope of resolving the situ ation .

Despite all the trouble that studen ts have been experiencing. UEA stu dents do not seem to be so badly affected that they n eed to claim from the many fi nan cial support services availab le to them.

Linda S h ep h e rd expla ined t hat: "applications to the University's hardship funds are not significantly different . this year". She re minded Concrete that the University is able to help students in financia l difficulty by extending the period for the payment of fees and rent for student accommodation.

From Page 1

£ S1UDENT DEBT

run up on credit cards. though the latter accrues a considerably higher amount of interest. Equ ifax. the online credit in formation provider. says in order to tackle debt most effectively. one of the most important th ings to do is to be practical when th inking abQut repaymen ts: "priori tis ing payi ng back h igh inte rest and secured loans is paramount to managing your fmances. " Th ey advise students to obtain a copy of the ir personal credit rating to help

Resident Tutors

them prioritise in th e most effective way.

One of the most obvious ways to ease debt worry is to limit spending in the first place. While some expenses are u navoidable. minimising spendings on takeaways and drinking - estimated to be £1.490 m illion a year for UK stu dents collectively - makes a huge impact on the bank balance. Sporadically replacing a night out clubbing with a nigh t in watching DVDs can make a real difference .

reporting major problems with th e Local Ed ucation Authorities (LEA) .

Kevin Rowe. fr om South Wa les reported. "I was rudely spoken to by my LEA. at one point th e woman on the other side of the phone laugh ed at me because 1 was phoni ng her.· The Department fo r Ed u cation and Skills had reported that the advantage of the new computer system is that it allows the performance of LEAs to be mon itored. It is unclear which LEAs were the worst performing.

David Andrews. Head of Student S upport at Norfolk County Council. explained that "97% of full -time stu dents have now had their application s fully processed.

Unfortu nately. we have been experiencin g problems for some months with the new national student finance comp uter system."

Li nda Shepherd a lso acknowledged that Norfolk LEA. wh ich looks after many UEA stu dents. had dealt with the problems very effective ly.

Mr Andrews we n t on to say that "we have been working flat out fo r some months . taking on extra tem porary staff. to try and minimise the effect of these problems

THE INTERNET IS ACADEMIC GOOGLE LAUNCHES STUDY SEARCH ENGINE

Applications are now invited from highly motivated, enthusiastic and suitably experienced fu ll-time students and members of staff for appointment as Resident Thtor for the academic year 2005-06.

Students spending next year abroad should also :;.pply now for appointment in September 2006, Resident Tutors welcome students when they first move into res idences, provide information and support to help them manage the transition to uni versity life and, tlu-oughout the year, are available to deal with issues of welfare and good order.

By using their mediation and problem-solving ski lls, Resident Tutors help maintain a balance between the interests of ind ividuals and the community in residences.

Successful applicants wi ll have excellent all-rou nd people skill s, be non-j udgmental, able to empathi se -with the academic problems commonl y ex perienced by students, have good written and spoken Engli sh, good time ~anagement skills, the ability to fo llow clearly defined procedures, flex ibil ity and a willi ngness to work unsocial hours.

This appointment will be subject to a cri minal record check from the Cri minal Records Bureau.

Further particulars are available from the Dean of Students' Office Reception or from www.uea.ac.uk/dos/intranet/welcome.html (click on to Residences).

There are 2 closing dates for applications: Friday 17 December 2004 (applicants will be invited for interview or informed that their application is unsuccessful by 11 February 2005) 28 January 2005 (applicants will be invited for interview or informed that their application is unsuccessful by 18 March 2005).

,..

J ane Douglas Leading Internet search e ngine company. Google. is creating digital waves by making academic research free ly accessible to all internet users.

Google Sch olar wi ll a llow stu den ts to search for keywords in theses. boo ks. technical reports. university websites and traditional academic publications.

Th e results of each search are ranked in terms of their relevance. for example. how many times other academics have cited the research in their work. rather than how many hits a site h as had.

Google Sch olar. now running in test form at www.scholar.google .com. is set to enhance the way stu dents search for informa tion . The search engine only looks t h rough academic doc u ments. cutting out inappropriate and less factual sites. which often lend n o m ore t h a n a passin g. popular commentary on a topic. For example. a search on 'life on Mars' using Google Sch olar yielded up-to-date information on strategies being developed to cope with the Martian terrain on future u n manned m issions .

Whereas. the same search using conventional engines leaves the u ser overwhelmed with a mix of science. conspiracy theories and little green men.'

The motto of Google Scholar

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is 'stand on the shoulders of giants· . wh ich a lth ough somewhat pretentious. is an accurate description of its purpose. Th e search engine provides access to usefu l and cu rre n t academic research in a n u mber of d isciplines ranging from medicine to computer science.

However. Google Scholar is largely scien ce-orientated.

Searches on historical top ics. such as t h e fire of London. resu lt in a couple of book ti tles a n d various papers on Samu e l Pepys' post-traumatic stress disorder. Those searching for informatiqn relating to English literature might also be disappointed. as a search on Othello gave more results on strategies for the game. than the issu es of race and gen d er in on e of Sha kespeare's greatest

works.

The new search engine does. however. enable the gen eral public to have access to th e raw facts and latest scien tific thinking on issu es which affect them , the possible link between the MMR jab and autism. for example.

The innovation comes as the Common s s cience and tech nology committee call for the results of publicly fu n ded scientific researc h carried out in Britain, to be made free ly available on the Internet.

Google Scholar certainly allows students to fi nd arti cles from a wide variety of academic pu b lis h ers. profess ion a l socie ties. prep rint repositories and u niversities, as well as scholarly arti cles avai lable across the web ;-with relative ease.

6 concrete.news@uea.ac.uk

www.concrete-online.com

PA

Concrete Wednesday, December 15 ', 2004

OT ALONE AT UEA

NEW SURVEY REVEALS lARGE NUMBERS OF UEA STUDENTSSUFFER FROM ANXIETY ATTACKS AND WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THECONDITIONS Kate Wilkinson

Experiencing a panic attack ...

A recent survey conducted at the UEA revealed that 73% of students didn't feel enough was being done on campus to raise awareness of panic attacks and other mental health issues. The survey was conducted on 22nd November this year and 100 students took part.

The survey revealed that 51 % of those questioned have experienced attacks themselves or know someone who has. but no one seems to be talking about the frequency of them or how frightening the expertepee can be. "Not a great deal is said about them anywhere. not just at UEA but in schools as-well". One student pointed out that "the

effect they have on the sufferer is often underestimated" and that "they are a symptom of other stuff. It's not about being weak".

Numerous participants in the survey felt that more needs to be done to raise awareness of this issue and wanted to know more about them, particularly those who knew people who had experienced them . One student said: "When I have been with people who are having an attack it is very frightening and I would like to know more about them". another said "I think if someone had one I wouldn't know quite wh at to do other than to call an ambulance ... " Although 92% of stu den ts had h eard of panic attacks and had a fair idea what th ey were there were a lot .of misconceptions about them. Many people believed th at they on ly happened to an "unlucky few" and that "if you h ave lots of issues all the time you get them".

Panic attacks are feelings of extreme anxiety and/or fear. which can seem unconnected to what the sufferer is experiencing. For example. sufferers can experience an attack while waiting for a bus or at the cinema. situations most people wouldn't associate with fear.

Panic attacks can be linked to phobias but can also result from generalized anxiety. Symptoms of panic attacks can be shortness of breath I hyperventilation . fast heart rate. pain in the chest. feeling as if you're choking. feeling faint, feel ings of unreality, numbness. wanting to go to the toilet. sweating, flushes , shaking. and feeling nauseous. These

can happen in any order and any combination. Thoughts sufferers commonly report when experiencing an attack are fear of death, fear of fainting, fear of losing control, fear of heart attack. and/or fear of going mad.

During an attack none of these fears are likely to be realised: in fact. sufferers are very unlikely to faint during an attack as their blood pressure Is raised. But it is very difficult to believe this when you are in this state of heightened anxiety.

It. is important that people are aware of what a panic attack Is. as it can be even more frightening when you don't know wh at it is you are experiencing. and it is crucial that they seek help as they are frighten ing th ings to face alone.

There are Jots of treatments available to h elp. including Beh avioural Therapy. which is used to help sufferers overcome fee lings of terror on entering situations that they would prefer to avoid. such as places where they have had attacks before. In the short-term, sufferers can be put on medication. although this is a last resort as the medication used is highly addictive and it doesn't solve the permanently.

Panic attacks can happen to anyone. You do not have to be physically. emotionally or mentally weak in order to suffer from them.

Recent research by the Health Press has suggested that almost a quarter of the population will experience an anxiety disorder during their lifetime. Sufferers can also experience other mental health issues such as

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD]. agoraphobia and depression, but do not have to experience any of these to have an attack.

What is important is that sufferers try not to avoid situations where they have experienced attacks. as avoidance can help to aggravate the condition as the sufferer gets stuck in a panic cycle where more and more situations are avoided. This can lead to heightened sensitivity to anxiety and loss of the life you were previously able to have.

It is often very difficult for a sufferer of panic attacks to explain what the experience is like. On e s ufferer said that: "To me. panic attacks are like losing your sense of time. space. self and reality. all at once. But what makes them even scarier is the feeling that you cannot connect or explain what's going on while it's happ ening - you feel stranded and isolated. and each time feels as disorientating and alarming as if it's the first time. because it is so hard to remember anything outside the panic". They feel that "at UEA there Is a severe lack of access to, and clear information about; services that are available, and options that can be tried. However. students in the Union are pushing to get this changed and hopefully the group tackling mental health awareness will continue to raise knowledge. and reduce misconception and stigma" .

There is help available for anyone who suspects they may have. or someone they know may have. experienced a panic attack. There are many web sites offering

information. advice and support on panic attacks including music to aid relaxation. some of the most helpful being: www.anxietycare.org. uk, www.first -steps.org. www . nopanic. or g. uk. www. nomorepanic. co. uk and www.mind.org. uk.

There are also books available. some In the library. such as Dennis Greenberger's Mind Over Mood (RC 489.C63 GRE]. or to buy. such as Christine.

Ingham.

Panic Attacks.

(Thorsons. 2000.]. which

offers a useful chapter with advice for people who want know how to help someone they know who has expert- 路 enced attacks. Furthermore. your GP can offer you advice, referral and support concerning panic attacks so if in doubt make an appointment. The mental health awareness group at UEA advertise their meetings in Rabbit and Concrete so if you want to do more to help raise awareness get down to their next meeting.

Cotcrltt Wednesday, December JSI, 2004

www.concrete-online.com

SPORT DEBACLE TEMPERS FlARE OVER LOSS OF GYM EQUIPMENT

uk 7

BABY STEPS TOWARDS NEW NURSERY NEW CENTRE IN FINAL DMLOPMENT STAGES

Robin Budd A safety decision for the Sportspark a few weeks ago has provoked a dispute between a student and the staff over the equipment currently available. 路 It centres around a piece of equipment designed to help with free weight lifting called a 'squat rack' which consists of bars on a frame. designed to路 support the weight of a barbell - a long metal pole designed to hold weights. on either end and be lifted. One gym user, despite warning signs, removed all the weights from one side of the barbell at once. This caused the barbell on the rack to swing over, and strike a customer on another piece of machinery in the face.

The head of the Sportspark, Keith Nicholls, removed the squat rack from the gym immediately on the grounds that he has "a duty

care to customers and Barrtngton, argues that this responsibility to the univer- machine Is useless and also sity to ensure the same acci- claims Mr Nicholls has dent cannot happen again". refused to meet him to disThe Fitness Centre of the cuss this.

Sportspark has been examMr Nicholls. on the other ined by the University Safety hand , says that Mr Service, and the staff made a Barrtngton has had the situnumber of other changes to 路 ation explained "on a large the layou't of the gym in number of occasions by the order to ensure that this Fitness Assistants. the kind of accident would not Fitness Manager, the Duty Manager, the Assistant happen again.

All Fitness Centre users Director Performance and are required to have an on four occasions by induction on the equipment myself'. and that any alterin order to ensure that dam- native was impossible due to age to the machinery and "the physical limitations and personal injury Is kept to a the level of usage of the minimum. As a replacement Fitness Centre". for this, a Smith machine Mr Barrtngton also was ordered , a similar claims that he has _collected weight lifting aid which C?n- the signatures of several slsts of a barbell integrated trainers, who agree with his into a machine with safety views that the new machine stops to stabilise it. It is is useless for what its needtherefore a safer option. ed. He has also alleged that There is already one of these he was forcibly thrown out of machines in the fitness cen- Mr Nicholls' office after tre, which Mr Nicholls requesting an appointment, describes as "very popular a claim currently being dealt and used for a whole range with by Jo Wright. the of exercises". The student Student Union Welfare opposing this, Robert Officer.

A FAIR AND FINE CAMPUS?

From Page 1 Given such high-profile support in the city, further questions are raised about whether the University should support the drive and become a Fairtrade campus.

Yasmlne Dialdas, secretary for SEED fThe Society for Everything on the

Environmental and Development), are hoping to set up a Fair Trade society at UEA and Is planning to raise awareness of trade issues with another Fair Trade fortnight which will take place in March next year.

She said "We are hoping to have a gig and open mic night as well as a quiz night.

There Is going to be a fashIon show featuring charity shop clothes and Fair Trade labels. We are also going to hold an educational weekend event in the city. We are very open to ideas and volunteers!" .

For more inffnlUation email Yasmine Dialdas at yas_d@hotmail.com

Sarah Smith No one can have failed to notice the large number of building projects currently in progress on campus but many may not have realised that one of the buildings will be a Health and Community Centre on the edge of campus. This new building as well as containing the health centre. dentist and laundrette will also become the home of the nursery.

Currently the nursery is located In the temporary green portacabins behind the main car park.

The nursery looks after children ranging from 6 weeks to school age from both staff and students.

Although staff have managed with what they have, the new building will be purpose built for childcare. It will also be much larger.

The new building will allow enrolment figures to almost double from 52 to 106 places. There will also be an emphasis on new baby places and facilities. The nursery Is very oversubscribed and it Is hoped these new places will dramatically

ease placement problems as well as providing a better and easier environment for children and staff alike.

The new nursery will have purpose built classrooms for each age group as well as a garden and outside playground. Although children are placed In age groups there is also the free dom for children to move between classes to see siblings. This was one of the aspects of the nursery that was praised In recent OFSTED inspections. There will also be Improved facilities particularly for catering which Is all made on site.

This will be useful because all children follow a vegetarian diet whilst at the nursery.

Because it Is such a multicultural group this means the meals are suitable for all the children. The children all celebrate the various religious festivals another fact that was praised by OFSTED. Whilst most of us have probably been moaning about the disruption caused by the building works, the nursery has turned them Into a learning opportunity.

The children have been learning 路 about how the machinery works and have

been watching the new building as it has gone up.

It Is hoped that the new nursery will be finished by summer '05 however at the latest it should be ready in time for the new academic year. Although there Is the possibility of changes to fees and session times parents will be consulted on this as they have been for the whole project.

The increase in the number of children will also mean the number of staff will double as well. In spring there will be a recruitment drive to find the new staff necessary. As well as looking for experienced nursery staff the university will also be liasing with City College to look for graduates of their nursery childcare courses to help fill places. It Is hoped that many parents will consider applying or moving their child to the new nursery. Whilst many parents may have looked elsewhere because of over subscription with the new places it is hoped many will look to the UEA as their first choice.

If you would like further Information on the nursery their website is www.ueanursery.co. uk.

8 concrete.news@ uea.ac. uk

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PARTNERS AGAINST CRIME UEA AND POLICE CONTINUE TO WORK TOGETHER Helen Pike N_e ws Editor Police in the Earlham area have teamed up with the University of East Anglia to help prevent further computer thefts.

Norfolk Constabulary have received a grant for security software and have provided UEA with 40 software licenses for students living in Waveney Terrace, where many have recen tly fallen victim to computer theft.

To be installed this week, the software ensures that if a computer is stolen the server will be notified. It will then be ab le to trace the computer and infor m the police.

Inspecto r Peter Wa lsh explains the reason behind

the new system they have implemented. "Laptop computers have become the target of choice for many thieves and burglars. Their mobility ends up being a hindrance to those who have had laptops stolen.

"We have been using the u ltra-violet link to mark valuable items for some time but recently the Norwich Crime and Disorder Reduction Partnership has helped us to obtain this new software. It will make crime more risky for the thief and for those persons who buy a stolen com puter with no qu estion s asked. The new kit will help us to locate a per son who is h andling stolen equipment."

Greg Newton- Ingham. director of UEA's web, learning a n d n etwork services encourages the idea. "The

UEA takes computer security seriously and is very pleased to support police in their efforts to reduce crime.

We believe that the use of this new software will improve security for users of laptops and we hope to make it available for all students to purch ase in the future."

Owners of computer equip ment can contact their local police station for crime prevention advice.

Information on tracking software can be obtained fr om the Central Area Crime Prevention Unit.

Several laptop com puters and other valu able items including electrical goods have been recovered by police recently after officers checked s u spected property with u ltra-vio let light.

BICi CRAFFLE IN. HIVE UNION INVOLVED IN RAFFLE TO FUND NORWICH CHARITY THAT SUPPORTS CANCER SUFFERERS lilt;

Cassie Edmiston The observant amongst you will have noticed that the Union Bar is running a Christmas raffle this year in support of The Big C Appeal.

With many gr eat prizes on offer. including two tickets to the Summer Ball next year, it's definitely worth a go at only a £1 an entry. As well as lightening your pocket.

and giving yourself a chance to have a gr eat night out for free, you wi ll be supporting a vital local cancer charity based in Norwich .

The Big C Appeal assists in providing doctors. equipment and support services in Norfo lk and No rth Suffolk, as well as research in our very own BIO departmen t. The Big C Appeal is one of those few charities where people can actually see the benefits of the money they raise being used in their local area.

The money from the raffle will help to support The Big C's latest project, building a Family Cancer Information and Support Centre at the Norfolk and Norwich University Hospital.

The first of its kind in the area. this unique walk-in centre will provide counselling, comprehensive access to information and support for those wh o are

having difficulty dealing with a disease that now. affects one in three of us. Cancer patients and their fam ilies will be able to find the information they need, away from the clinical and often frightening environment of the hospital.

If the idea of a raffle doesn't appeal . the charity also runs two shops in the city centre, one on Castle Meadow and the other at the top of Timberhill. If any student has a few spare hours and feels like making a difference to a small charity with huge ideas contact Cassie Edmiston on 01603 619900 or e-mail c.edmis ton@uea.ac.uk/cassie.edmis ton @thebigcappeal.co. uk.

For raffle tickets simply visit the Union Bar or the Hive and pay to put your name and number on a square where you're In with a chance to win a fantastic prize and support the Big C.

Road 01603 502984 SKY TV WITH ALL MAJOR GAMES SHOWN

Live acoustic acts every tuesd~y singer/songwriters and cover performances

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STUDENTS COULD BENEFIT FROM SERVICE THAT HELPS RESOLVE RENT DISPUTES Katharine Clemow Deputy Editor Students across the UK are missing out on a government-backed tribunal service that could help them resolve arguments with landlords over unfair rent.

The Residential Property Tribunal Service (RPTS) , wh ich was established in 2001, believes many students are unaware that a comparatively quick and affordable dispute resolution services is available to them locally.

Th e tribunal service can assist regulated. assured or assured short hold tenants in a variety of circ u mstances; for example where a stu dent is ch arged what th ey believe is an u n fair ren t, or faces a sudden unjustified rise in rent.

"Hou s ing d isputes can

be stressful. time-consuming and expensive." says RPTS Senior President Siobhan McGrath. "Our committees and tribunals, which are available locally throughout the country, can resolve many types of dispute, breaking deadlock with the potential to save both sides time and money."

The RPTS is strictly impartial and every case it handles is decided on its merits. Hearings take place locally, usually at a location near to the property in question.

Hearing panels are typically made up of a valu er, a lawyer and a lay person .

Seventy per cent of rent disputes are heard within 12 weeks or, in urgent cases, even sooner. Panel members a lmost a lways under tak e property inspections.

The service is both efficien t and extr e m ely cost

effective - rent disputes are handled free of charge. while other disputes cost between £50 and £500 depending on their complexity. You don't have to hire a lawyer or valuer and hearings are semiformal and user friend ly.

In addition to rent disputes. the RPTS is also empowered to adjudicate in other matters including disputes concerning leases. service charges , insu rers and building management.

Siobhan McGrath says the service is open to everyon e and adds "We are urging anyone wh o is having problems resolving disputes to contact one of our regional offices. or phone the national helpline."

The national h elpline number is 0845 600 3178, and further details of the service are available in free booklets explaining the work of RPrS.

OWAT

is finally here in Norwich The essential clothing for the student of today Heroes also stocks 'Savage London' clothing, Burberry, Ralph Lauren and Oxydo accessories

Castle Mall Norwich 01603 661468

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Decemher

rH 200-1

ONE'S GOVERNMENT IS DOING RIGHT BY ONE QUEEN USES SPEECH AS PlATFORM FOR FEARMONGERING AND ENDORESMENT OF IDENTITY CARDS Sam Webber Political Editor It is fa irly clear that th e m a in proposals in thi s yea r's Quee n 's s peech focus upon the cl im a te of fear in whi ch we now a ll live. Through variou s securi ty- rela ted measu res. s uch as Lhe introduc ti on of ID card s and th e estab lis hmen t of a ·seriou s OI-ga nised Cr im e Age n cy·. the government is tryi ng to co n vey the impression that it will kee p u s sa fe from increasing te rrorist threats.

A g reat m a n y people. includ ing poli ticians from a ll parties. are very cauti ou s abou t going down Lhis roa d .

In fact. so me feel Bla ir is only taking yet another leaf o ut of Geo rge W Bus h 's boo k by preparing to run an elec tion campaign based . not on h ope for the fu t ure, but on fear.

Seni o r m inis te rs h ave eve n go ne as fa r as to cla im

that. unlike the op position pa r ti es. La bour wi ll tru ly kee p Bri tain s afe.

Lead er of the Hou se of Co mmons. Peter Hain said . "' ! believe the risk would be lowe r under Labour beca u se we are b ri nging in the measures to deal with terrorist Lhreats ··.

Se n ior Co n se rva ti ves a n d Libera l Dem ocra ts ha ve seized upon th ese an d other a llega tions and a rgu ed tha t. eve n if they oppose ID card s or a s imilar piece of proposed legis la tion . they s till d o so wi th th e coun try's best in teres ts at heart.

The pa rt t hat iden tity card s will play in monitoring te rrori s t threats is itse lf qu estiona ble. If these cards are required to preven t a 9 / I ! -style a ttack on London or e lsewhere. why then a re they not being introdu ced un til 2011 ? S ure ly h e re those arguing Lhat Labou r is trying to scare voters in to s upporting them win some

credi t. This was a Queen ·s s peech foc used prima.Jily on sec uri ty a nd a nti -terrorist legis lation . wi th hardly any proposals d evoted to otheicrucia l areas s u ch as h eallh and ed ucation .

However U1 e governm ent has decid ed to ex-tend ch ild benefit s upport for child ren up until the age of 19 s o long as they a re engaged in edu cation or training. Certainly this will be viewed as a n improve ment on the previous system . whi ch co uld be said to have d iscrimina ted aga inst those leaving full time ed ucation a t sill.'teen to pursu e vocational a p p ren ticeships.

A bill was a lso proposed to "'red uce furt her Lhe num b ers of t h ose kill ed o r injured o n th e roa ds "'.

Precisely what this bill con tains is not known yet. but it is hi ghly like ly it will increase the pena lty d1ivers face if caugh t u s ing th eir m obile te le ph on es whilst

dri ving. Co n cr ete read e rs who d1ive and have yet to purch ase a su itab le handsfree d evice wi ll now face a heavy fin e. so it is worth urging all drive rs to con s ider this proposal very se ri ou s ly indeed .

This was a particularly dry Q ueen 's s peech , and it is unlikely th a t more than one or two of its thirty-seven proposa ls wi ll go through parlia m en t b e fore a gen e ra l electio n is called .

Co n serva tive MP S ir Michael Spice r referred to it as ··m ore of an electi on ma nifesto Lhan a Quee n 's s peech "' . and pei-ha ps there is an element of trulh in tha t .

Rightly m- wrongly Tony Bla ir certainly looks like h e is go ing to fi gh t the next ge n e ral election. which is s till exp ected on 5th May. on standing issu es like terroris m a nd security. examp les of wh ich are the afo remention ed and highly co n tenti ous ID card s.

TB OR NOT TB?

SORRY, WE CAN'T HELP

CAMPUS WARNING ON TUBERCULOSIS RISK

COMPULSORY SOFTWARE FAILS TO DETECT VIRUS

Robin Bud d The Dean of Students has released a briefing to a ll stu de n ts abou t th e r is k of Pu lmonary Tubercu losis. after a stud ent was recen tly diagnosed. All who have h ad recent close contact with the student a re a lso being instructed to be tested and have been given adv ice a nd infor mation on h ow best to proceed. TB is easily treated and ta kes a long ti me to develop. so th ere is no m ajor Iisk as long as it is ca ught before too late.

TB h as bee n declared a global health emergen cy by t he World Hea lth Organisation s ince 1993 - it ca uses more death s th a n Ai d s and malaria combined.

and it is estimated Lhat up to 10 m illion people a re in fec teel each year. with around a th ird dyi ng. Th e main areas a t 1isk a re South -East Asia.

Sub-Saharan Africa. and Eastern Europe. There had been a trend in the last two centUI·ies fo1· a decrease in the d isease. but recently cases have been inc reasing again. leading to an estimate that by 2020 one b illion people will be newly infected \vi lh the disease.

Th e two m aj or factors in th e increase of the d isease are Lhe in crease of HIV and the inc rease o f resista nt s trains. S ince HIV lowers th e resista n ce of th e immune system , the bacteri a h as m ore c h a n ce o f spread ing Lhrough the body - one third of a ll HN d eath s are TB rela ted. While non resis tant TB can be cu red for

only around a thousand pounds. drug resistant TB can cost up to a hundred and thirty thousand pounds to fu lly lJ·eal.

TB is sp read th rough the a ir when a carrier sneezes or cough s. It can lie dorm an t for a long time if it is transm itted to someo ne wi th a hea lt hy im m une system .

However it m ay return when the perso n is weakened an d the immune system is less active. The worst areas fo r transmission are in ba dly ventilated or con fin ed places.

The symptoms include a cough tha t wi ll not go away. feeli ng ti red. weigh t loss . loss of a ppetite. fever. nigh t s weats a nd coughing u p blood. Anyone wi tl1 these symptoms s h ould see their GP at th e Health Ce ntre immedia tely.

Robin Bu dd

Recent computer problems wh ich have bee n reported to t h e Un ivers ity IT service have been met wilh less he lp th a n wou ld be ex pected.

Various viruses going round the un ive r s ity syste m of co mpu te rs ca nnot be removed by the comp ulsory vir u s softwa re.

McAfee .

McAfee is com pulsory for a ll computers before they co n nect to the network . and this year the IT department gave out hundreds of COs to a ll u sers wanting to connect to th e n e twork which con tained the software McAfee.

However s om e of the viruses curren tly going around Lhe UEA ne twork cann ot be detected by McAfee. or are detected bu t ca nnot be rem oved .

Undergra du a te s tud e n t Oliver St Cla ir - Stanna rd repor te d his co mputer to ITCS. after it began running

,

much s lower than n orm al.

He was to ld he that h is com puter was affected with a "Trojan" virus. d iscon nected from the network and given the address of where to find McAfee upd ates. a nd to ld that his problem was not Lhe responsibility of th e IT staff.

The1·e a re oth er reports that prob lems caused by this virus include on e student losing two thou sand poun ds while using in te rnet ban king. and one staff mem ber being told tha t tl1e problem is so wid esp read that rem oving one vi rus would create a preced ent for clearing viruses off n etwork co m p u ters wh ich wou ld have s uch a back log as to be impossible.

While no -one ex pec ts this IT service to fix each and every p roblem on eve ry u ser" s computer. a computer th a t has caugh t a viru s off the network th ey maintain d eserves th eir attention . and the s taff s hould certainly en s ure th a t th e a ntiviru s softwa r e th ey e nfo rce is capa ble of dealing with a ny

and all possible viruses . The only way to remove the virus is to load a more advanced antivirus program such as Norton - the only problem being that these pro grammes are usual ly quite expensive. costing usually at least twenty pounds.

The re are aro u nd 53 .000 computer viruses currently in existence. with a new one d etected every 18 seco nds. with the most damaging virus so far being the 'ILOVEYOU" virus. w hi c h caused seven b illion pounds worth of damage. There are so m e s imple s teps th at s hould be taken to reduce the ris k of virus in fection.

Do not open an attachment from an u n known sou rce. even if you have a vi ru s scanne r on you r co m p uter. a lways back up you r work. a nd se n d a ny e m a il you Lhink is infected to an an ti vir u s co m pany (you m ay h ave to own a copy of th eir virus software). as they wi ll be a ble to tell you if it is infected .

eo.a.t. Wednesday, December JSf, 2004

BIAIR AND CHIRAC UNITE

Nadia Bennich International Editor

In the framework of the Anglo-French summit, French President Jacques路 Chirac visited Britain to celebrate the I OOth anniversary of "entente cordiale" with Tony Blair.

After a peiiod of tension between both countries, b oth statesmen want to d raw a line under the differ- ences concerning Iraq and aim to achieve a democratic, stable and peaceful Iraq.

Blair recently appealed to the EU to work alongside the U.S. to help to attain this

objective.

Jacques Chirac, however. still refuses French military participation and denounces the fact that the removal of Saddam Husseln has not necessarily made the world a safer place. The u nrest In Iraq would have actually Increased terrolism.

The situation In the country Is still very chaotic and latest events In Falluj~ represent further challenges for the International community to tackle. In this context, Jordan's Prince Hassan explains his concerns to the BBC by desclibing the situation In Iraq as "spinning out of control".

Thousands of civilians

have died since the beginning of the war and their number Is Increasing daily.

Terroris ts kidna pped many civilians, j ourn alists or other civilians of Western origin, to urge the removal of military troops. Their victims were killed under barbalic con ditions with the latest Inciden t of the m ur der of Margaret Hassan during the last week of Ramadan.

Margaret Hassan was the director of Care International and devoted her life to help the Iraqis.

She was married to an Iraqi and has been living in Iraq for over thirty years. Her death caused worldwide emotional outburst and was condemned by political leaders.

Terrorists provoke the reigning chaos In the country which Is challenging the international community. A long-term solution for the crisis has not been found yet but the planned elections in January 2005 will hopefully return a sense of order In Iraq and contribute to the creation of a stable and democratic country.

It is not only the Iraq crisis which has to be solved in the Middle East . also the Israeli-Palestinian conflict must be tackled. Therefore, finding a long-term solution for the Middle East conflict remains a dilemma.

SUPREME COURT TO DECIDE FATE OF UKRAINE COUNTRY "ON BRINK" AFTER ELECTION DEBACLE Donetsk, traditionally a stronghold for Yanukovych's Robin Smith party which registered a turnout of 96%. These claims have been upheld by Hundreds of thousands of Western observers of the Ukrainian citizens have been election.

In response, Mr demonstrating this week after the country's hotly dis- 路 Yushchenko's supporters puted general election . have staged five days of Prime Minister Victor mass demonstrations outYanu.kovych was oliginally side government buildings declared the victor of the in Kiev. Following this, Mr contest on the 21st of Yanukovych released a November. However, six days statement calling for his later, the Ukrainian parlia- supporters to avert an ment officially rejected the "unconstitutional coup". result after an appeal by the The electoral fiasco has party of Victor Yushchenko. served to heighten the Yushchenko's party allege boundaries between East that voters were Intimidated and West Ukraine. The East by officia ls at polling sta- voted in favour of Mr tions into changing their Yanukovych whilst Mr vote. There was also a h uge Yushchenko won by a large media bias in favour of Mr margin in the West. In Yanukovych and certain response to the protests by regions recorded an unnatu- Yushchenko's supporters. rally high turnout especially many Eastern Ukrainians

have stated that If the election results are not upheld the East of the country will cede from the West and become an autonomous state. The matter Is now in the hands of the Ukrainian Supreme Court which will vote on Monday to decide if there was a breach of electoral regulations.

The election has caused friction between Russia, the EU and the USA. President Putln is a strong supporter of Mr Yanukovych and pubUcally backed him during his campaign. When the result was declared on the basis of exit polls. the Russian Premier congratulated Mr Yanukovych, a move which drew criticism from the USA. Mr Putln then condemned the EU for suggesting that the election had been run unfairly.

OBITUARY IN LOVING MEMORY, NICK O'MALLEY, 1_982-2004.

ADVERTISING TEAM TO PROMOTE THE PAPER TO THE LOCAL AND NATIONAL BUSINESS COMMUNITY You will need excellent, demonstrable, communication skills, preferably with sales experience. A driving license would be an advantage.

Julie Therese and Friends We recently learnt of the tragic death of Nick O'Malley. Nick was a s tuden t from Wake Forest University In North Carolina. and s pen t a year s tudying -a t UEA on an exchange programme.

Ada pting quickly to life

in East Anglia, Nick threw himself into everything he did. He was an open and friendly man whose enthus ia sm carried other s along with him. By the end of the year, Nick had achieved legendary statu s at UEA for his. numerous pranks and escapades , and for his eagerness to talk and to listen to everyone h e met. He will be remembered for his

inquis itive nature, his generosity, which was frequently and a ppropriately expressed, and his awful s hirts .

We know how much Nick loved his family, and we can never fully appreciate their sen se of loss. As we s hall n ever forget Nick , neithe r will we forget those he loved mos t.

You will need to be dedicated to the financial well-being of the paper. while still being considerate to the student audience and the interests of the Union.

Good rate of commission on all adverts secured.

Please apply with CV, covering letter and 1000 word consultancy document on how you would promote and secure advertising for the paper

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Cotcnte Wednesday. December !

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51 ,

2004

Opinion

about that concept I realised what a joke it was. Rabbits d e livering eggs?

Who came up with that?

Even my birthday has lost its zest. I' m a year older, well done.

These days my birthday is just an excuse to get hammered, so hammered that I don't even reme mber what it was I did to celebrate the fact that I've made it through another year. I simply don't h ave the passion for these annual celebrations that I used to. Some of you will have experienced the same thing, and maybe Christmas doesn't impress you the way it used to.

It 's still impresses me, though. Oh boy oh boy oh boy. I'm up for Christmas as much this year as I was when I was five and could have sworn

I heard Father Christmas eating the mince pies we left him.

Father Christmas still does it for me, 路and by 'it' I mean that exciting, youthful feeling. I still get that from Father Christmas. Whether he's in a mall, on the street collecting change or on TV in one his many movies, the sight of a jolly fat man in a red and white suit still makes me smile. You can't say a bad word about Santa. He 's all the good things about mankind generosity, hard work, crisp white beard- and he does his job without asking anything in return. If you ask me Father Christmas should be God. He certainly works a lot harder than God, and his ultimatum to children is just what the porky slackers of today need: be good, or you get nothing.

Tough, but fair.

God , though , is what Christmas is supposed to be all about. I went to Church everyday for sixteen years.

My desire for organised religion has all but vanished, but I still believe all the Christmas stories. The wise men, the manger, some spooked shepherds and a virgin birth. The

more impressive than b eing born.

The last point of course is crucial.

I am not approaching this from a n anti-religious viewpoint - if people feel the need to celebrate the birth of Christ then so be it. The problem is that everyone celebrates this festival.

Most of the people who celebrate Christmas probably have no clue as to what other Christian festivals exist.

Surely Easter is a more monumental event than Christmas? It is proof of just h ow consumer based our society is. There are already enough holidays to keep any greeting card manufacturer happy, but Christmas has become ridiculous. Any foray into WH Smith becomes a life-or-death struggle for survival - you are eith er going to get lost and never find your way out, or slowly starve to death in the queues. The amount of money we spend each year on Christmas is phenomenal - your average family will have to inve st in a tree, lights,

decorations (interior and sometimes exterior), a ne w fairy, e nough food to feed the five thousand, presents for every single person in the family, cards for everyone you know (and some you don't or met on holiday 32 years ago) and most importantly of all, enough alcoh ol to float an ocean liner. I am forgetting all the minor expenditure, such as paying the electricity bill, as most people will probably n ot even consider h ow much e nergy they use during the holiday period. The heating goes up , the lights stay on, the car gets run into the ground what with all the last minute shopping trips because someone forgot to buy cranbe rry sauce- but don't worry, I'm sure the environment can cope!

The Marmite logic can be applied to Christmas. You either love it or hate it. Some immerse themselves in all aspects of the festival from decorating the tree to ensuring there at least three varieties of stuffing. It is hard to begrudge these people their fun - most of us would assert Christmas is a d eserve d b reak from the toil of working for the rest of the year. The whole of society is granted a period to be with their families unrestrained by the ties of their job.

Doubtless even Tony Blair will be opening his presents under the tree

ROSS GRAINGER

I LOVE CHRISTMAS u might remember me as he bloke who loves football (but hates the adverlsing). Well there 's somehing e ls e I love eve n more than footb a ll, and it's not Natasha Kaplinsky (though she is love ly) .

It's Christmas! I love Christmas.

Ove r the years my e nthusiasm for annual holidays , religious or otherwise, has waned co nsiderably. I have n 't been trick or treating in years . In my heyday I had bags of sweets to offer neighbourhood children, but when children knocked on our student house this year, all I could offer the m was apples.

Easter's not that cool anymore, either. I mean, the Ea ster bunny? A few years ago when I actually thought

Y

SIMON SHERIDAN

I HATE CHRISTMAS he High Street d ecorations are up, the sh ops are full of scarves and gloves, children are jotting down a list of the latest toys for Santa to get them this particular year, and Bridget Jones is back for yet another seasonal rom-com. Is it just me, or have we been here before? The answer is yes! It was last year, and the year before that and the year before that. In fact, this happens every year and it gets worse all the time. Each year the shops put their decorations up a few days earlier. I even received a Christmas catalogue on my doorstep in July! Doubtless another 'classic' tune will make it to number I in the charts following the likes of Westlife and Mr. Blobby! What is it about this festival that makes us lose all sense of perspective in our lives?

We don't we feel the need to celebrate any other of Christ's achievements, most of which were much

T

TIM BARKER

LET'S THINK ABOUT CHRISTMAS n 24 days it will b e the 25th of December and little kids and big kids all ove r the country, and the world, will be getting up early and opening presents.

Some will have been to Midnight Mass the night before and more still will be going to Christmas Day morning service at their local church. They will be opening presents because this was the day that Jesus Christ was born in a stable in Bethlehem. We know that he was born on the night of the 24th because that is when it was celebrated for the last one and ~ bit thousand years in this country. It was actually celebrated on this day because it . was already a pagan festival when the pilgrims came over and they thought that it was easier to convert the pagan population by nicking their pre-existing holidays in the

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name of God. The same goes for Easter. But the point is still the same; we open presents on the 25th of December because the saviour of the world was born.

But this month also see s the celebration of Hanukkah, a Jewish celebration for the rededication of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem after their victory over the forces of the Hellenist Syrian king Antiochus in 168 B.C.E. lt 's a celebration that lasts eight days to commemorate the miracle that happened during the rededication of the temple where a Menorah was lit for eight days with only one days ' worth of fuel. These people believe in the God of the Old Testament, at least that part of which is contained in the Torah, but not that the son of God was born in a stable two thousand and five years ago.

Even more people are currently

fasting during the day in accordance with Ramadan . These people believe that Abraham, the Father of the Jewish people through the line of Isaac, is also the father of their people through the line of Ishmae l who was disinherite d via trickery by Isaac. But they do not b elieve that Abrahams God h a d a child who was born on the night of the 24th of December, and they do not follow the teachings of the Torah either, though they trace some of their history back to some of the events written in the Bible. hese are three of the world's major religions, religions that are in conflict around the world. From the 17-year old war still being waged by the Ugandan Government forces, the UPDF against the Lord's Resistance Army in Uganda (an army composed almost entirely of kidnapped children brainwashed into being murderers for God), to Israel, where Jewish and Muslim people fight over each others Holy Land, where both their peoples combined have thousands of years of history. Then there's Iraq where the American and British

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Christmas story has got it all. But even if you don't believe it, and even if you do nothing on Christmas, or celebrate it purely for the presents, on Christmas Day we should all take a moment to give props to Jesus Christ.

He 's like Michael Jordan, the Pope and Nelson Mandela rolled into one. eople use the erosion of the religious side of Christmas as a way of criticising it. I don't think there 's anything wrong with celebrating Christmas and not believing that it is the day when Jesus Christ, the Son of God, was born. Christmas is more than a religious holiday.

This is part where a Christmas cynic would say, 'yeah, it's about the shops making loads of money. It 's capitalism on fast forward . No one b elieves in it, people just want presents.' Well , true. The shops do make a killing at Christmas. They take advantage of the festiveness to make you reach deeper and deeper into your wallet. And there are millions of people who only have on thing on their mind whe n they wake up on

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this Christmas - I do hope George gets him something nice t has to be noted that it is our own fault Christmas has become the way it has. What with all the war and anguish in the world, we enjoy perpetually looking forward to Christmas . It allows us to turn the other way a nd concentrate on something we feel is important. If only people living in Sudan had that luxury. Christmas allows socie ty to forget about the pain, mise ry and suffering we dish out to the world. Whilst the people of Iraq and Afghanistan are bedding down for another night of artillery shelling, we will be putting out the cookies and milk for Santa; whilst the starving in Africa go another day with only a mouthful of grain to live on, we will b e enduring an epicurean orgy in the form of turkey, roast potatoes and those little sausages with bacon wrapped round the outside; whilst 8 year old children cry over their bleeding fingers in a sweat shop in Indonesia, we will be openin g presents made by these same kids -presents that, a lot of the time, we don't really want anyway.

How is it we have b ecome such a selfish society? Why do we allow shops to throw advertising in our faces in late August? The answer is

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forces are battling against the forces of the rebel cleric Moqtada Al-Sadr.

And of course the war .on terror with the mainly Christian West a gainst the underground forces of the fundam e ntalist Muslim organizationAl Qaeda, hea ded of course by former CIA-funde d leade r Osama bin La den. All of these religions , and many others, fight against each other b e cause of faith. Faith drawn from texts varying from hundreds of years old to thousands of years old; to put it bluntly people. are dying because of pieces of paper.

It seems very strange to think that millions of children will be opening presents because of one of those old pieces of paper and millions of children in other parts of the world will be dying because of them.

This is not to say that these pieces of paper, or indeed these religions are directly causing murder. The blame for that can only rest in peoples hands, the people that are alive today and choose to kill. Indeed these religions have also been the driving force behind such life saving groups as the Red Cross and the Red Crescent. But those pieces of paper have caused a huge amount of suf-

Christmas day: presents.

But for me Christmas isn 't just about prese nts, or just the day when Jesus was born. Christmas is something much more important. It 's an excuse. In any given year Britons have a myriad excuses to get drunk: birthdays, England matches, St. Patrick's day, New Year's Day, weddings , the list goes on.

What we don't have , though, are excuses for uniting the family and just letting that warm, thankful feeling wash over us . Christmas is that excuse. In my family, and in many others I'm sure, Christmas is the only time we are all together. It is the only time of the year when you actually feel obliged to do nothing other than indulge !n nostalgic conversation and shortbread.

Intangible family goodness aside, there are so many other reasons I love Christmas . I love Christmas trees and I especially love decorating them. The stockings, the presents, the Christmas dinner, the family visits and Boxing Day football. What 's not to love? Merry Christmas! simple: it gives us something else to think about , something more pleasant than starving kids in Africa or petrified children in the Gaza strip who could at any moment be on the receiving end of a bullet to the head.

Christmas means we don't complain; it keeps us pliant. Even our troops in Iraq will be getting their serving of turkey, and la ter tha t d ay they' ll be called up on to blow up an Iraqi school in the name of democracy.

There is a word for this - hegemony.

The late genius Antonio Gramsci coined the term to describe h ow the elite persuade us that life is "alright" as it is and we should therefore not complain. Christmas keeps our minds busy for a good four months of the year, what with the planning, shopping, and haggling with the family over who gets Grandma this year!

As an atheist I don't begrudge people the ir religious festivals (even though Christmas is actually much older than Christ - it is a Pagan festival) but surely we have gone too far.

It is just another example of how immoral we have become as a society that we feel the need to celebrate Christ's birth by getting as drunk as we possibly can on as many drinks as we possibly can. Mulled wine anyone?

fering from the mome nt they were written. Pogroms against Jews, long befo re the Holocaust, were perpetrated by supposedly right thinking Greek Orthodox Christians. The witch hunts throughout the middle ages were conducted with great religious fe rvor, helped along by a huge amount of Christian doctrine. Who knows how many women and m e n were burnt to death because of Church authorize d, and indeed organized, trials of 'witches'. The long running and devastating wars between Protestants and Catholics throughout Europe, arguing against each other because of different interpretations of the same pieces of paper, a conflict still kept alive in Northern Ireland. And who knows how many men and women have been stoned to death for being homosexual or indeed adulterous in a country that enforces Shariah Law. Pieces of paper that bring both a child's glee and death and suffering - it seems strange to weigh the worth of a life against the meaning of words on a page. But it is nice to have an excuse to get presents.

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Cttcrtta Wednesday, December JSf, 2004

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DON'T TOY

concrete.features@uea.ac.uk

13

ITH US

Every Christmas brings a new 'must-have' toy. With the Christmas season in full swing Concrete sent Anthony Jackson to Toys R Us to resurrect his inner child and sample the latest gadgets and gizmos. t is upsetting, but Christmas loses its magic when you get older. After losing faith in Santa (he only stops once you stop believing!) the trips to Toys A Us with your parents, on a reconnaissance mission, also stop. When we wake up on Christmas Day there are no more battery operated objects of fun to keep us entertained; or at least none you can share with your friends and family. Maturity brings with it mature gifts and the youthful excitement of ripping presents open is lost. Who can. forget the indescribable buzz of tearing off the wrapping paper in hope of finding that year's must-have toy? Thunderbirds' Tracy Island, Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles and even Cabbage Patch Kids rekin· die past Christmas memo·

turers have given old classics a new makeover.

Also on the top ten list this year are the !board games Buckaroo, Twister and Cluedo. These games have been given a modern remake and now Buckaroo looks more like Donkey from Shrek with a multi-coloured coat. Cluedo has been updated with new moulded figurines and weapons. Now Miss Scarlett didn't simply oommit the murder in the Dining Room with a spanner; she did it in the Media Room with a Tomahawk Mil?Sile (it was a pre-emptive strike on the shifty Professor Plum). You can even buy an electronic Cluedo that talks. This seems like another method of forcing parents to fork out for more bat· teries; a possible conspiracy between Duracell

different types of mode, but this just does not Interest a grown up kid; the fascination of action figures dies in your youth as the adult imagination turns to other forms of delight.

Moving on with a sense of dread towards the younger children's section, cartoon adventurer Dora the Explorer was encountered. Dora has various toys to amuse and entertain toddlers, but the toy that made the top ten list is the We Did lt - Dancing Dora. The title is intriguing, but only enough to dicover that it was created in the Ronseal Quick Dry mould; it did exactly what it said on the tin. You squeeze Dora's hand and she dances, rather violently and erratically, while singing "we did it, we did it". What it is she is sup·

to make learning fun and from a toddler's per· spective, it's easy to imagine they do.

The last two toys on the list provided another look at the progress made since we were young whippersnappers. The new Tamogotchi Connexion displayed yet more technological advances. The virtual pets now include Infra-Red so you can interact and have Tamababies with your friends. Although this sounds a little sordid, the packaging states you have to nurture a friend· ship with another owner before the pets would have babies. A great way to make friends, it appears, and possibly a way of eradicating racism and homophobia at an early age. Maybe it will just spawn a generation of swingers; only · time will tell.

· Cl ued0 th at talks. Th'IS seems l'k The final toy on the IOU can even buy an eIectroniC I e ustisthetrampoline, and ~~~~~::/ib~~~~ie~njo~~~ another method of forcin·g parents to fork out for more batteries; a :~~:~~gth~~ !~! ~~~~ robotic d~gs while we possible conspiracy between Duracell and the Toy industty cannot b e blythebes!sellers.Large 8ft trampolines are mod· made do w1th a CD player or socks. In an attempt to ruled OUt erately priced at £79.99 • and larger 14ft trampo· revisit the inner child this ries. In recent times we v. havehadtolookonasour

Christmas and re-create the buzz that is so sorely missed, Concrete looked at what is on the Santa's top ten most wanted list this year; and then played with them (it only seemed right).

On entering Toys R Us the theme tune slowly starts floating inside your head. The palacial grounds that youthful memory preserves have given way to sterile aisleways. After walking through the swing gates all the magic of the expe· rience comes back: millions of toys all under one roof can do nothing but excite. There are literally hundreds of distractions with various noises and signs reaching out for the attention of the passerby. Possibly the biggest and most elaborate point of sale comes from the makers of Bratz. The shelf, filled with various Bratz dolls, cars, jeeps, and catwalks, is nearly 20ft wide and 12ft high. In the middle there is a large cardboard cut-out of the Bratz gang and a speaker somewhere beJts out a 70s tune. Bratz are on the top ten most wanted list and since this is apparently the year of retro, Bratz have launched a 'Flashback Fever' range with 70s and 80s clothing accessories.

There is also a flashback fever retro ride complete with 'pimpin station', which prompts conearns about our children growing up so much that they recognise a 'pimpin station' at the age of ten. lt's hard to know what it is when you're in your twenties. Nevertheless, it gives some indication as to the progress today's kids and their toys have made. The retro ride is huge, about the size of a lawnmower, and can seat up to six Bratz dolls. lt is clearly a toy aimed at girls, as they are a species that can identify with the entertainment of dressing a plastic girl in knee-high boots. The toys do offer something more than the average Barbie and some of the accessories are pretty high tech, including a Bratz pad with working lift and Jacuzzi.

In keeping with the retro theme, toy manufac·

and the toy industry cannot be ruled out. Yet there posed to have done remains a mystery. In a sim· is definitely something refreshing about children ilar vain, the Cabbage Patch Kids failed to invoke the inner child. Complete with Certificate of taking time away from Playstations and X·Boxes to play with a hands-on game.

Adoption, there are sixteen dolls to collect. The Leaving the board games aisle, attention is idea of a child being conceived within a cabbage quickly grabbed by Hamleys' Top Toy of the year; patch is somewhat tainted once you learn about the Robosapien. The name alone tells you that the birds and the bees, so this one is definitely this toy is cool. lt has been featured in various best left alone by the older contingent. 'lad' magazines and gadget features, but it has the unique ability to appeal to kids and adults A lso in the younger section are the toys alike. lt is a toy that will have you uttering the Leapster and V·Smile. These are both cliche "they didn't have toys like that when I was educational toys. As a child, the asso· elation between the words "education· young", because, quite simply, they didn't. The · Robosapien is a programmable robot that can al" and "toy'' were met with huge per· walk, dance, pick things up and probably fix your oeptual resistance, as it usually meant some form t~levision. This toy nearly had the Concrete budg· of maths. However the modern generation are et for the issue spent on it actually quite entertain· purely to liven up the dreary ing. V·Smile plugs into days in the office. In our t h e youth, the equivalent was probably the lit· tie dog that could do back flips until it fell of the table. On examining such an exciting specimen a regression to child· like awe was inevitable.

The Robosapien is designed by NASA and has an Interactive Reflex System. This tech· nology basically means it will avoid bumping into walls, but the com· plex words help to reinforce the futuristic draw of the toy. The Robosapien is just over a foot high and would not be out of place in I Robot, what with its white armour and beady eyes. After ten minutes of stares from impatient parents the remote control was reluctantly handed to a chubby· hand and solace was sought in the aisle of the action figures.

This year sees the emphatic return of the Power Rangers Ninja Storm and the Teenage TV and is Mutant Ninja Turtles (notice the word 'Hero' has ultimately gone from the turtles and the word Ninja has a form of become more popular). Although children's TV is game consomething that we try to ignore, the presence of the Power Rangers Battliser toy in the top ten list sole for preis surprising. T~e Turtles (complete with new school kids. manga style animation) have regained popularity, Leapster but surely the Power Rangers were finished. The looks like a ever-knowleadgeable store assistant said it was Game Gear the complete opposite and they were actually and includes ·temporarily out of stock due to such a high educational games and a digital art demand. There was, however, no time to meum mode. In this mode you use a pen to colour in the loss of playing with a Power Ranger. The various scenes on the screen. Both toys profess advert states you can transform them into three

lines at £149.99. These prices have been drastically reduced in recent years and so it would appear that come Christmas Day there will be an array of bouncing boys and girls around Britain. Trampolines are fun for all ages and the inner child was eager to test the springs, but unfortunately bouncing in the store was strictly prohibited.

Walking through the store you cannot help but squeeze any toy that says "try me·. and you can't resist any ~lectronic game free to trial.

There was a frequent compulsion to explore beyond the list, and by doing so, a toy worthy of honourable mention was found. Somewhere between the action figures and Dora there was the compelling, yet sinister, presence of the McDonalds McFiurry maker. Seeing the young child smiling on the front of the box brought back all sorts of memories about the Mr Freeze ice pop maker, the absence of which made for one particularly

gloomy Christmas Day. The injustice left me scarred and I hope the of endorsement McDonalds will convince parents to let today's young children make ice-cream unsupervised. This year's most wanted toys provide a great variety yet I am reluctant to suggest they will leave you feeling young again. Only a cou· pie can provide child-like excitement but it is worth a visit just to see how far toys have come.

You'll probably find that your imagination just isn't what it used to be. Remember the days when you could have an inter-galactic adventure with only a small plastic T·Rex and a Batman action figure? We see these toys now and feel nothing.

For children, Christmas Day is a competition, of sorts. lt's the day when you meet up with your friends and see who got the better hoard of presents. Sampling all these toys reminded me just how emphatic growing up can be. Now the very idea of a robot-homosapien hybrid is absurd, but for children it's a marvel and a must· have.

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14 concrete.features@ uea.ac. uk

Cacrttt Wednesday December

(SI

2004

c:o.cr.t. Wednesday December 1st. 2004

INTERNATIONAL

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concrete.features@uea.ac. uk 15

CHRISTMAS

lt's that time of year again, the time when Germans unveil their prune people, Mexicans write wish-lists to El Nino Dios and Venzeulans roller.:skate to Church. If you thought every country opened presents on December 25th and spent ~he rest of the day getting drunk, you were only

half right. The statistics tell us that there over a billion Christians around the world, so why does Japan have Annual Gift Man? And what's it like Down Under? Victoria Leggett and Ross Grainger surveyed the globe and found out how the birth of Jesus Christ is celebrated, if at all.

SWEDEN In Sweden celebrations start on the 13th December, which legends tells us is the longest day of the year. Lucia is the queen of light and in the morning the eldest daughter must wake her parents by and bringing them breakfast in bed and singing the Italian song 'Santa Lucia'.

The traditional Swedish Christmas meal conjures up the same sort of feelings as that of Jamaica - ham, jellied pigs' feet, lutfisk (cod in a cream sauce) and rice porridge. There is also a tradition called dipping the kettle in which a piece of dark bread is dipped into a pot of pork drippings, sausage and corned beef. This Is to remember those who are hungry at ChriStmas. tt all talces place on Christmas Eve. Santa also comes in a different form in Sweden. They have a gnome called JuJIDmten in a barn. He Is credited with looking after the family and 1heir liYMioc:tc altlf hu the aarne popularitY in Sweden as Santa

USA As with everything, Christmas in America is bigger and better. Bigger certainly. Unofficially the Christmas countdown begins the day after Thanksgiving, that's the day when Americans actually have an excuse to gorge themselves and sit around all day watching American football. The Day After Thanksgiving is a capitalised occasion, the day when all the shops have massive sales and desperate shoppers wait outside the doors at 6am, ready to burst in and grab the bargains.

As for Christmas Day itself, it's basically the same as here.

Unfortunately, though, because of America's religious and ethnic diversity, the term 'Merry Christmas' has vanished from the everyday social lexicon.

What with Hanukkah for Jews, Kwanza for African Americans, and, er, nothing for the atheists, it's just not smart betting so say 'Merry Christmas' to your average Yank on the street; there's too high a risk they don't celebrate Christmas. Instead Americans say 'Happy Holidays', a blanket term that wishes goodwill without any specific creed in mind.

•llteG

THE NETHERLANDS

does in 8rtlain; aclllis ...en dta8s up .. glint gnomes and visit children to give them praaents.

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In the Netherland; feast and p~sent giving day is on 6th December. This is SinterKiaas' (St. Nicholas) feast day. ~ Children put out ~eir shoes instead of stockings. And SlnferKiaaa has a White horse instead of his sleigh and rein-

RUSSIA In Russia there are two types of Santa. St Nicholas Is the first: he was said to have been performing miracles in the 11th century and. they celebrate a feast for him on 6th December. The other is Babouschka. The story goes that she failed to give food and shelter to the wise men during their journey to see Jesus (presumably they were very lost on the way to Bethlehem). According to the tradition she is still in search of the Christ child and visits the homes of children every Christmas.

The Russian church uses a different calendar to that of Britain, making their celebrations for Christmas 13 days behind. They have a Christmas dinner, but it is meatless. One of the most important features is the kutya: made of wheat berries to symbolise hope and immortality; and honey and poppy seeds which ensure happiness, success, and untroubled rest. However they don't just eat this delicious-sounding concoction. Some families choose to throw a spoonful to the ceiling. The myth says that if it sticks to the ceiling there will be a good honey harvest in the year to come - an odd and messy way to look into the future.

deer.

An

~ting part of their Christmas preparations Is the hom-tf~ which starts on the first Advent Su~ right up

until Cflristmu Eve. At dusk, farmers take loc1g 11otns and .rand over to bloW them. This creates an eerte80tmd and to celebnlt81he coming of Christ.

MEXICO In Mexico Christmas is known as Navidad and is a great celebration that lasts from Las Posadas on 16th December to the end of Candelmas on 2nd February. The focal point of the decorations is the nativity scene, which can apparently take up a whole room in some houses. They go all out - there's the stable and the holy family, the ox and the ass, shepherds and their flocks, and other random people thrown in for good 'measure. Some even add a serpent to represent the force of evil, and a full blown landscape with cellophane waterfall, mirror pond and artificial trees.

Instead of writing to Father Christmas with a wish list, Mexican children direct theirs to El Niiio Dios (the holy child). They also manage to incorporate a type of April fool's day into the Christmas calendar. On 28th December King Herod is said to have killed all the babies in the land, hoping that one of them would be Jesus, but it was not. Because of this the children get to play tricks on each other on this day.

Children do not actually get their pres. ants until 6th January which is reportedly when the ·three kings arrived with gifts for Jesus. This is known as the Feast of the Epiphany, and is a legacy of Spain's colonialism. ·

JAPAN

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You may recall the episode of the Simpsons, 'Homer's Phobia', in which Homer is saved from stampeding reindeer by his gay nemesis, John, who releases a robotic Japanese Santa Claus into the herd. His name is Annual Gift Man and he lives on the moon. He takes on a similar appearance to the regular Santa Claus, though he also has eyes in the back of his head. These are presumably to watch the children all year round. In the Simpsons he can also fire missiles.

Christmas is not a religious, but a secular celebration in .·~ and mostly used to show love for one's children. This 11Jt..,rprising when you consider that the major religions in ..Jtl*.l,are Shintoism and Buddhism. In terms of celebrations ~husiasm the day pales in comparison to New Year's "t'!~~Dristmas is not even a holiday in Japan; it's more of a .,. • 1 ..._- .i tltt hop owners, especially those that sell the traditional .. :oo-.~~ .. as cake.

JAMAICA

Deolmber 11 • very hot month In Bflzl, wltl ............ ranging In the high 30'1.1nd ..,., 'hi low 40'8, which might we celeond8 Jeeus' blrt't on the night d Ctwlalmel Ew, 10·we donl miss a day Ill the beach! Aa the sun sets on the 24th, the whlle lld8nded family unites, with each cllnconlrbJiing a dlflrent dish for the tiMt Aa midnight approaches a prayer s eald ~ ~ down for dinner. We dil not hiMl any .... tional dishes specially made for the date, such as Christmas pudding, but the

be-.

chances are turkey will be on the menu.

After everyone can eat no more the ti.rne the children love most arrives: presents!

One normally buys gfts for all the members in their immediate family and for closer cousins and uncles; not everyone can afford presents for all.

As the beer and bottles of wine start to run dry, the younger generation head to a party or club to meet up with friends. The clubs and bars stay open until the last person leaves. Club owners sometimes get carried away with the 'estive spirit and it is therefore not rare to find somewhere which is offering free champagne and whiskey paid for at the door for a set fee. I have to confess I don't really remember what happens after that. ..

(Douglas Clayton, FTV 3)

SOliTH AFRICA NEW ZEALAND

Mlny Qwistrnaa, Geseinde KersfMa. 8lnlfisela llchl8musl C>ndlle, Sinlllela IOMnuel Lom~. Matswalo a MorMa a Mabotse. These ant just five way8 of giving feative greetings in South Africa, a country with eleven official languages. Uke many countries around the world South Africa is such a cultural and ethnic mash up that there is not one Christmas tradition.

December is summer in South Africa, but while the weather is drasticaUy different, many of the Christmas celebrations are the same. This isn't surprising when you consider the fact that Britain colonised and ruled South Africa for nearly a century. Most homes are decorated with pine branches, and have a · Christmas fir in the corner of the living room. The Christmas meal is enjoyed outside and consists of turkey or suckling pig, yellow rice with raisins and plum pudding.

South Africans also take the day off on Boxing Day, which, as in Britain, is a national holiday. Families will enjoy the day on the beach, or by a river, and it is a day of total relaxation and enjoyment.

Yet another former British colony, Christmas in New Zealand has lost a considerable amount of spark since they stopped filming 'The Lord of the Rings'. Gandalf used to dress up as Santa and deliver presents on his dragon, but now that that's over the usual Christmas traditions are back in place.

As in South Africa, and all countries in the southern hemisphere, New Zealanders celebrate Christmas during summer. They spend most of the day by the beach or at pool parties with cold beers and ice buckets. All the usual Christmas icons are embedded in New Zealand culture, but the Maori traditions are strong as well. Many of the spirits and creatures of the Maori culture resemble elves and ·gnomes of the European traditions. .

The huge number of sheep in New Zealand (45 million sheep, 5 million people) means there are plenty of shepherds to look after them. As such they have a special time on Christmas Day when they remember the important role shepherds played in the Christmas story.

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16 concrete.features @uea.ac. uk

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Celcntt Wednesday, December J51, 2004

CHRISTMAS INNUENDO There's a sinister side to Christmas, one that we're often reluctant to acknowledge. While innocent children are writing toy lists to Father Christmas, Matt Shoesmith disregards his morals and embraces the world of Christmas innuendo. t is, as the song says, the most wonderful time of the year. lt is a time for family, for lovers, and for many, it is a time for God. However, Christmas is rapidly becoming a time for endless innuendo, relentless eyebrow raising, giggling, and a global overuse of the expression, "wahey," as innuendoes new and old are as abundant, and as inevitable, as turkey sandwiches on Boxing Day. The festive filth manifests itself in almost every area of the Christmas tradition, often making its first app~arance of the year in alterations of much loved and ever-catchy festive music.

Songs reporting shepherds washing various unspeakable items (or areas), whether sat on the bank or the moss or by the brook (think about it)

ductive gland, on an unfortunately positioned redhot cinder.

Unfortunately, the festive season is dragged further into the gutter long after Batman's odour has driven Robin to an untimely exit, when the table has been laid (that wasn't one) and the family join together to share Christmas dinner. Even in the preparation of the meal, certain individuals cannot resist the opportunity to refer to ~big­ breasted birds", often adding indescribable atrocities about being "well stuffed", or even worse, "slowly roasted." And even once .the turkey has been cooked and is ready for distribution, many fail to disguise their shameful amuseme~;~t at the traditionally painful inquiry, "are you a leg or a brea~t man?" The sniggering and smirking

"Most of us will be forced to endure the old one-liner, "Santa only comes once ·a year and that's down the chimney. " can be heard across the country, sung without any consideration for the implications of their effect on the sheep farming industry. And it is not just the working class agricultural workers who suffer at the hands of crudely edited carols, as even the Three Kings from Orient-are find them.selves being described selling all manner of undesirable items from underwear to hard drugs, whilst the delightful, "GOod King Wenceslas; has been tainted, perhaps forever, by those who sing that, when harmlessly looking out of his bedroom window, he fell out and burnt his, erm... re pro-

evoked by the asking of what is, essentially, a functional question may well lead those few who manage to remain morally upstanding during the season · to sit out their Christmas dinner in silence, for fear of accidentally falling foul of the growing infestation of seasonal sauciness .

However, even those who adopt the strategy of silence are subjected to the yearly cracker related embarrassments, as cries of "have you pulled a cracker?!" serve to further besmirch the noble tradition of the Yuletide feast, before the meal has even begun.

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Indeed, even if one manages to observe the main course free from the further pollution of the sanctity of what is, after all, a religious holiday, the presentation of the traditional desserts provides the less reputable family member with the often irresistible opportunity to pass on seemingly well-meaning advice about the importance of "not burning your pud."

Most worryingly, even the most fundamental elements of Christmas have not been left untouched by the filthy minds of those who seek to dissolve the wholesome atmosphere of the season, in favour of a sickening celebration of half-disguised references to sex. Even Father Christmas fails to avoid the growing tidal wave of filth, as references to his "enormous sack" plant what is, frankly, a dangerous subliminal message into the impressionable minds of a generation of children, who r.nay never know the joys of an innuendofree Christmas. Furthermore, the growing trend of apparently humorous cartoons circulating via email, which depict Santa in what can only decently be described as "compromising" situations, threatens to drastically alter the traditional image of the warm-hearted, generous saint into one of an outrageous reveller, with no regard for the consequences of his shameful antics.

Needless to say, this is not an appropriate symbol for the season of religious celebration based on family values. Indeed, it is not just Santa's image that is being attacked by mindless smut, as jokes at the expense of Father Christmas are commonplace, and have a similarly detrimental effect. Most of us will be forced at some point to .endure the old, but ever-popular one-liner: "Santa only comes once a year, and that's down the chimney", a joke which could possibly explain the reason why no-one has ever seen Santa, as he probably wishes to avoid the public speculation about the condition of his libido. any of the innuendoes used at Christmas are actually year-round, but are made more conspicuous over the festive season. For example, the higher numbers of parties being held means a sharp increase in balloons arranged to resemble unspeakable areas of the human form, and a similar rise In the number of raunchy party games. Even the delightful custom of exchanging gifts, which seems to be the entire purpose of Christmas for the current generation (apart from filth), has been dirtied by the outbreak of festive lewdness, as phrases such as "can I feel your package?" are greeted with Jerry Springer-esque whooping, or perhaps worse, that noise Kriss Akabusi used to (or probably still does) make, with choruses of "it's quite big", and, "longer than mine, but not as wide." Even ladies, innocently expressing their curiosity about what form of jewellery to expect when the parcels are handed out on the morning of the twenty fifth, may be confronted with the sickening response, •a pearl necklace", from their partners, followed with an inevitable Sid James chuckle, often to find no evidence of the jewels of the ocean when tearing away the wrapping paper on Christmas morning to reveal a puncture repair kit and a bottle of festive bubble-bath.

M

The effect of these innuendoes on the Christmas period is difficult to gauge, as the damage is only just starting to show. However, the evidence suggests that everyone can now expect at .least one rudely shaped piece of chocolate and several emails showing Rudolph, Santa, and often a few elves, disgracing themselves through lewd debauchery. Furthermore, it is conceivable that many people will now experience premature wrinkling of the forehead, due to excessive eyebrow raising, or perhaps more probably, as a result of a vast increase in the amount of time during the season that they spend frowning.

Indeed, during Christmas, it is traditional to consider those less fortunate than ourselves, and in terms of innuendo, this must surely mean sparing a thought for girls named "Holly", for whom the festive season must surely be a trial rather than a time for happiness.

Christmas is closely linked to the loss of a child's innocence. There's nothing like learning the awful truth about Father Christmas to make a child grow up. lt follows, then, that once all the myths about Father Christmas and his reindeer have been dispelled, children are free to start dropping some innuendo.

The only problem, of course, is that when hormone-infested teenagers do it, it isn't innuendo. Innuendo is subtle, and teenagers aren't subtle. When two or more of. them are gathered, any joke about sexual anatomy or just sex in general will be greeted by triumphant laughter.

However it can be argued that since C~ristmas is the season to be jolly, perhaps we might all benefit from indulging in innuendo as a harmless way of communicating the mirthful spirit of Christmas, rather than tainting the holiday for future generations. Indeed, as students, the burden of responsibility for creating new and interesting innuendo quite rightly lies squarely on our shoulders - so go forth and spread the festive filth!

;

Colcrttt Wednesday, December JS 1, 2004

www.concrete-online.com

concrete.features@uea.ac.uk 17

masterS ea s Robin Buddwent to talk to Dame Stella Rimington, the former head of MI5. She was the first woman to hold the position and the first person to be named in the position. Her career as a novelist, with the autobiography Open Secret, and now the thriller, At Risk, add to an already lengthy list of achievements. personal openness and had quite a dramatic effect on us. We then decided that we would try and use that to be more open about what a security service does. lt seemed to us that that was the right moment to do it and this was the opportunity. So that was us, me and the rest of us at the top of the service, making the decision that we were going to use this to be more open."

But how much openness and transparency was the right level? And did the imprisoned agent David Shayler, who gave away official secrets after saying that he wished to expose an abuse of power in MI5, go too far with his desire to give out · information?

"I think there should be transparency in a democracy about what it is a security service does, what it doesn't do, and the sort of people that are there should be from open recruiting.

They've got this now but there should not be discussion about operations, individual methods and that sort of thing. I think what David Shayler did wrong was to breach that particular rule. He claims he was doing it was because he wanted to reveal that something was being done wrong.

However, he didn't go to the mechanism that exists for people who have those concerns - he went straight to the press and I think that was a big mistake."

'Well all the characters and plot are entirely fictional, obviously. But what is based on my experience is the way in which the different agencies work together, so the way in which MI5 works with the police in that continuous liaison, that's all quite real."

The book received brilliant reviews from publications as diverse as the Scotsman and Marie Claire, but with no prior experience, I wondered if it was hard for Dame Rimington to write fiction novels as opposed to her autobiography.

"Easier in a way because I wasn't conscious of the censor looking over my shoulder, although I did have it cleared because whatever I write I've got to get the clearance. lt was more difficult in other ways because the art of fiction is not something I'm skilled in. Although I don't find plot difficult, and I don't find characters particularly difficult, what I do find difficult is keeping the thread going, keeping the tension going and making sure you don't lose the subplot. it's all in your hands so I do find that quite difficult."

In Dame Rimington's past there's no history of writing fiction. When asked if she's ever written before, and if she planned to continue writing fiction after this, she seems optimistic. ''Yes I've always wanted to write a thriller. I'm a chronic thriller reader and of course anybody who's worked in my sort of job has got lots of hen she moved to publish her potential plots in their head. it's the sort of thing autobiography, Open Secret, I've always wanted to do, and I used to start Dame Rimington faced a lot of books- I used to go away on my holidays, unpack pressure from both government and start working out the plots but when you're and opposition MPs not to working full time you don't have time. I'm working although an honourable exception was local MP on another book with the same character, Liz, and current Education Secretary Charles Clarke, and one or two of the other same characters as who agreed with her that the official secrets act well but she changes her job. She's still in MI5, was too unreasonably tough. Did she ever feel so but not working against terrorism." discouraged that she didn't want to write the MI5 is at the centre of the domestic efforts to book? avert terrorism , for example in the recent claim by "I did for a brief moment but not for very long, the Daily Mail that it averted an AI-Qaeda plot to because I knew the public furore was very overdestroy Canary Wharf. Dame Rimington worked done and was artificially stirred up by certain hard against terrorism in her time there to ensure ture, I suppose it's more like Smiley in John Le parts of Whitehall who had taken the view that I it was well equipped to deal with national and omething about interviewing an ex-head of the secret service, let Cam~ . because what it's about is trying to gather shouldn't be able to publish my memoirs. But I've international terrorist threats, but does she feel alone a woman with the drive to prior information about what's threatening us, put had them all cleared, and I've taken o.ut anything it's still well prepared? it all together, work out what it all means, and that I was asked to remove. At the end of the day "I think it's a continuous struggle. The difficulmake it to the top of what was a masculine monopoly, is really then try and take some action."

I thought that I wasn't going to be put off by this ty is that there is no such thing as 100% intelliquite intimidating. All these fears Working at MI5 through a period of such artificial furore". gence by definition, so although they are very turn out to be for nothing upon the immense change - almost for the duration of the Her new novel, At Risk, is a complete book of good at what they do and we have not yet had a initial reception: Dame Rimington is friendly, Cold War - meant that Dame Rimington had a fiction, based around a female MI5 operative serious terrorist attack in this country, which says funny, and immensely per- --·=--------~,---,,----------------------------~----~---:---:,---- to me that they are doing well, sonable. clearly things have been

W

"There should be transparency in a democracy about what it is a bornDi~~~n~~~ii~g~~~5~a! security service does, what it doesn't do ... but there should not be ~~~~~e~~:f~h~~er~e~=~~:y~~ true war child - and d · · b · , unlikely that they're going to describes her first experiISCUSSIOn a OUt operatiOnS. be entirely successful all the ence of 'need to know' intelligence as when she was left waiting for her school bus for a day - it turned out it was being used to pick up retreating British soldiers from Dunkirk. After a spell as a records administrator in England, she moved to India with her husband where she began work in MI5. Recruited in quite a casual way - she joined as a typist to help an MI5 worker in India with a backlog of work- she describes her path up the ranks as quite gradual: 'When I first joined it was a very male-dominated world and woman really joined as a second class career, so you were only there to support the men. At that stage it didn't seem to be much of a job, then gradually as I stayed there a bit longer and got more involved in what was going on I realised that this was a serious business, particularly since when I joined it was the height of the Cold War. We were working against the Soviet Union and its allies who, in those days, were our prime enemy. Gradually, as I got more involved, it became apparent that it wasn't just a sort of thing you took on part time."

As she rose up the organisation, she got more of a sense of the work, and describes the comparisons in the secret services to the cloak and dagger perception of the spy world in the entertainment media.

"Certainly nothing like James Bond. That's pure fiction. If you want a comparison from litera-

real sense of the dangers and concerns facing the country. She explained when terrorism first emerged as a real threat to the country.

"Really in the late 1960s, the beginning of the 1970s. That was the beginning of the IRA and gradually that's become a more serious threat.

But it didn't seem to us at that stage nearly as serious as the issues thrown up by the Cold War. There were other kinds of terrorism as well, even at that stage we were calling it international terrorism - we were dealing with Palestinian terrorism, there were hijackings of aeroplanes and that kind of thing."

In her time as Director General of MI5, she presided over a change in MI5 policy on secrecy where the agency would advertise clearly and publicly for jobs, create a website, and even discuss the food in the staff canteen - apparently they make a mean Madras. Though Dame Rimington is often credited with these changes, I asked if she thought they would have occurred if someone else had been in charge.

"I think it probably would have happened anyway. I was the first head whose name was made public and that was not my decision; that was the government. The reason was that I was the first head to be appointed under the act of parliament which now covers the work of MI5. That precipated a certain degree of openness, although it was

unravelling a terrorist plot - integrating Islamic extremism and the role of women in the security services. lt clearly has some of her experience in there, but how much?

time - that's one of the problems with an intelligence service. Everybody sees your failures but your successes are not seen."

Sallowfield Cottage WatUefield Nr. Wymondbam Norwich, Norfolk

Bed & Breakfast 2 Doubles 1 Single Room with Private Bath Coptact

Caroline Musker 01953 605086 07778 316616 caroline.musker@tesco.net

.-

www.concrete-online.com

( 0 ft C rete Wedn esdar. December ! 51, 2004

C U T S H ORT

F O R

LIFE WITH O UT CON"CRETE

If you have been luc ky enough to pick up th is issue of Concrete hot off the press on Tuesday 30th , t hen yo u a re also lucky enough not to have m issed th is weeks debating society meeti ng.

After reading the article below about the car park, head down to Nel son's Court common room A at 6 pm whe re they will be de bating t h e p ro ject. STAG will be guest s peaking and everyone's o pin ion wi ll be heard .

CAR PARK DELAYED Hope for a sensible solution to congestion continues as car park plans are delayed

his weeks issue of Turf 1s encouragmg you all to get started with your Chnstmas preparations. Too long have we brought those cheap plastiC baubles from the newsagents to go w1th the blindingly sparkly strand of tinsel that l1tter the tree ... this week we plant ideas of a recycled Christmas, where you can actually put l1tter on the tree while mamtaming your dignity.

T

ast week mvolved a tense few days for all those following the development of the multistory car park plans. Un1vers1ty officials met on Monday 22nd to

T insel: cuttmg up different coloured shoppmg bags mto thm stnps of about 1ocm and s1mply tie a single knot on to th e stnng bunchmg th em close together for convmcmg tmsel 'effect'

• •• decide whether the proj• ect should be confirmed and when construclion should begm. The meetmg followed months of co ntention since the plans were first announced, with concerns being vo1ced over the lack of consolation.

There have long been congestion problems around UEA, and no one is m doubt that time and money need to be Invested to deal with the SituatiOn. When the unive rsi ty quietly informed the publ1c over t he summer that it would spend [12 mi llio n pou nds in the construction of a · mul tis tory car pa rk t he re was Immed iate o utcry a nd ap pea l, w hich triggered t he re fo rm a ti o n of STAG, the Sus ta inab le Trans po rt Act io n G ro up. O rganisatio n s s uc h a s STA G a nd t he Green Party, have con demn e d t he lack of open de bate

T in can stars : clean out your o ld can of organic cider and usmg some sturdy k1tchen sc1ssors cut down to the base at regular mtervals, then bend back the stnps to create that sparkly Chnstmas star (N .B. be careful not to sever any fingers) Wra p ping pa per: some of the m o re plast ic-based w rapping p ape r can no t actu a ll y be recycled. To avoid was te w hil e addin g some style ,and a good read, to you r presen ts this year, wrap th em in newspape r.

Bog-roll nativity: t hat prec1ous bit of cardboard IS a ve rsatile commodi ty; sc ru nch up a p iece of kitc he n towe l s tic k it o n top for the head add so m e ca rdboa rd a rms a nd glitter a t so m e po int is p robably adv1sed, get t he o ld fe lt-t ips ou t a nd crea te th at Be thl ehe m sce ne.

Th e plans for the proposed car park involved in process of solving the congestion problems, especially when it was discovered that the University had been holding onto these plans for nearly three years. All have called for the car park proJect to be delayed while more econom 1c and environmentally sustainable a lternatives are investigated .

The fears over the lack of democracy surroundmg th1s 1ssue grew even further as the results of the Monday meetmg we re he ld tight at the beginning of the week. As u ncert a in d e tai ls b ega n to eme rge Turf was info rm ed o n Wed nesday tha t any constr uctio n wo rk will no t sta rt un til 2007, a nd oth e r so lutio n s wou ld in fac t be loo ke d a t in th e m ea nt im e .

Howeve r, this resu lt ca rri es a m ixed mes-

sage, as the overnd1ng consensus is that th e delays are due to finanCial difficulties, and the alternatives sought include the poss1bil1ty of a nat car park built on a yet to be discovered s1te.

TAG is remaining positive though and will continue to hold talks and work with the un1vers1ty in draw1ng up more sensible plans . Others are still funous that the budd1ng of a multistory car park is still even be1ng considered as a viable option at a ll. Indeed, looki ng a t the figu res it seems to make ve ry little sense. The unive rsi ty ca n not affo rd to s pend [12 mi ll io n po un ds in thi s way at a ll , and will be forki ng ou t somet hi ng in th e ra nge of [1 million in te rest a yea r. Bu t

S

HIGSON HASSLED Con troversy surrounding t he Envir onmenta l Officer threaten s some impor tant policies

A

Al te rn a tively if you r ban k ba la nce has n't al ready w1the red away 'Kettl e of Fish' in Potterga te sel l so m e o ri g in a l recycled deco ra t 1o n s including pressed b o tt le to p s a nd b utto n Ch ris tm as s ta rs.

We ho pe th ese h ave prov id e d sa ti sfying al te rn a tives to fini s hi ng off t hose e nd o f te rm ess ay s.

Andy H igson , Environm enta l Officer

ndy H igso n' s ro le as Enviro nm e nt a l O fficer was a lways go in g to be a co nt rove rs ia l o ne. As th e first pe rso n to occ upy th is positi o n wi th o ut bei n g in th e s c h ool of Enviro nm e nt Sci ences th e re we re q uestio n s o f s uitabi lity fro m th e s ta rt , w hi le hi s co mm itt ee po s itio n with th e Liberal De m oc ra t soc ie ty le ft co nce rn s ove r co nnicte d inte re st a nd di vided res pon si bi litie s. H oweve r, as H igso n se ttl es into hi s ro le he is no t le tt ing petty crit ici s m s get to him , a nd is a s d ete rmin ed as eve r to p u sh fo rwa rd th e Uni ve rs ity 's e nviro n m e nta l p o lices. Read e rs who work t he ir way to th e back page s of co n crete w ill ha ve found t he letter full o f discus s io n

over Hi gso n 's pe rfo rma n ce as Envi ronme ntal Office r. These lette rs have bee n hig hly politica ll y charge d a nd it seems t hat party politics is w hat this a ll bo ils dow n to. Indeed , H igso n' s big gest critic is th e Conse rva tive Party society mem be r, Michae l lllm an, who h as call e d fo r An dy 's res ignatio n o n t he uni ve rsity rad io s tat ion Li vew ire. Wi llia m Ke mp , th e pres id e n t of th e UEA co n s e rva ti ves , in fo rm ed Turf th at lll m a n d oe s n ot s pe ak fo r t he ir so c iety, an d w hil e t he y d o wish to sc ru ti ni ze th e Enviro nm e nta l Office r's p ractices , t hey d o no t wis h t ha t he s ho uld s te p d ow n.

Tu rf has hea rd fro m a number of c ritics w ho clai m to be un sa ti s fi e d wi th H rfo rm a nce and fee l th a re

even 1f congestion was considered such a bad problem that the money could be found there are seem1ngly endless more s u stamable alternatives, 1ncludmg free unlimited bus travel around Norw1ch for each of 10,ooo U EA students for the next 10 years.

Exactly what the university 1s up to is sti ll ha rd to dec1pher, desp1te contmued pressure to keep this hugely high profile process transparent. One thing IS clear t hou.gh; the need for debate, pressure and acti o n is still req u ired from all those conce rn ed abou t t he environmen t, and while no th in g is like ly to happen ove r Ch ris tm as, thi s s tory is set to g row t h ro ughou t th e w hole of next yea r.

bei n g let down. Certainly there was cause to wo rry w he n he failed to condemn t he p roposit ion of the multistory ca r-park.

Si nce th en th ough he has raised his voice a nd is now seek in g to unite the whole uni on in rejecting the ca r pa rk project.

H igson has certa inly stepped up a gea r in the las t few weeks, and has ad m itted to Turf that the "job has been a lea rn ing curve". Bu t as he s tarts to ada pt to t he ro le t he re a re fea rs that all this need less conte nti o n will je p odise many 1m portant e n vi ro nm e nta l issues. Rig ht n ow th e Enviro nm e nta l Office r need s fu ll sup p ort to pu s h so m e imp o rta nt m o ti o n t h ro u g h. H igso n s ta nd s by th e cl a im th at he is un awa re o f how he may have ca us ed a ny rese ntm e nt b ut offe rs hi s a po log ies if t his has bee n t he ca s e, urging peop le to e mai l h im a t s u .e nviro nm e nt @ ue a.ac. u k with a ny co ncern s o r s ug ge stions .

TREE OF THE FORTNIGHT

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Tree of t he Fortnight prid es it se lf o n its se ns iti vity towa rd s t rees and tree lovers o f a ll vari ety. lt is fo r th is re aso n that th e Abie s Alba wa s th e o nly reaso na bl e choice fo r th e la s t tree o f th e fo rtni ght be fore Ch ristm as. The less co mp as si o nate reade rs m ay be won de ring w hy a fi r tree of a m o re festi ve ge nu s was n 't chose n , but as t hese 'Ch ris tma s Trees ' will be havi n g m o re th a n t he re s h a re of a tte nt io n ove r t he n ext m o nth th e Ab ies Alba, o r Silve r Fir, ha s bee n c ho se n to h ig h light t he bea uty of a ll t he o th e r fi rs out th e re . But as we ll as re pre se nti n g a ll th ose und e r p rivileged fi rs th a t will be fo rgotte n t hi s Chri st m a s, this t ree is d ese rvin g of a ny rewa rd in its own rig ht. it 's impo ss ib le to gaze at th e subtl e s ilver tin t tha t t hi s tree pro du ce s w he n ga zed at fr o m und e rn ea th with o ut be ing a ro used .

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www.concrete-online.com

Coaaelt Wednesdal', December JS 1, 2004 Last issue Turf noted that Norfolk County Council had launched a large scale publicity campaign to encourage the opinions of local residents in regards to the proposed northern bypass. Sources have since suggested that the campaign is just a stunt designed to cover their tracks.

The green party are questioning why the Assembly approved the scheme in light of its previous report stating that the scheme "does not score high on congestion"; one of the main ai m s of the proj-

On Mo nday 22nd November work on the East Cycle link began; the project will create a permanent cycle way and footpath in place of the existing rough path that runs from Bluebell Road across the grass area to 'The Street'. The new cycle way is due for completion by December 17th. lt will provide a lit asphalt path with a secure compound for 6o cycles at the university end of the path.

A Victorian post box was stolen out of the wall from the corner of Chestnut Road and King's Road, Wisbech, Norfolk.

The next day the said post box appeared on eBay. Bearing the inscr(ption VR, it was not in use but had been restored by Royal Mail following a request from the Wisbech Society. Inquiries by Wisbech police are continuing. Anyone with information should call 0845 4564564.

The issue of waste paper produced from printing receipts in the library was brought up at the Union Council last month and although the saga still continues the council voted to have a trial period after Christmas where no receipts will be offered. However, there will not be a final decision to scrap the receipts until the trial period has been carried out.

ect.

CHICKEN! here , that got your attention didn't it?

There's nothing like a catchy headline to drag and you kicking screaming into reading a little of this environmental nonsense before you dash straight for the horoscopes! How, you may ask, can chickens save the planet? I'll tell you . it's a question of what the chickens have to offer one of Norfolk's more environmentally friendly businesses . Well, to be honest, the chickens don't have a huge amount of say in the matter - and since the implementers of the new scheme are chicken processors Banham Poultry Limited, the chickens are probably crapping themselves. Which is, in fact, the point.

Did you know that the excrement produced by one chicken in its lifet1me can supply enough electricity to run a 1oo-watt bulb for five hours? Robin Coram, director of Banham Poultry Ltd, does - and he doesn't see why all that waste should go to waste.

February this year, he announced that his company's innovative proposal to develop an entirely ch1cken-run renewable power plant had been approved by the Environment Agency.

And it's not just a load of crap - blood , feathers and all sorts of other disgusting parts that get removed from the chicken before it is wrapped for distribution (sorry if you were just tucking into a sandwich) can also be converted into power! Previously, Banham Poultry were facmg nsmg pnces for disposal of these unappealing by-products since the BSE scare. The new scheme when implemented will dispose up to 1,200 tons of them cheaply and cleanly, and provide over 5

How Norfolk Chickens Will Save The Planet ...

Mega-Watts of lovely renewable energy enough to supply 7000 houses in the area . just in case you were wondering "but...how??", and entertaining grisly vis1ons of blood, guts and effluence pumping their way around power-cables, the way of extracting energy from excrement is simply to heat the waste without oxygen and then generate electricity by the combustion of the gases produced. If you really want to go spoiling a nicely bizarre mental image with science, I suppose.

Banham Poultry have a long-stand ing commitment to energy conservation for both financial and environmental reasons. Quite simply, conservation of energy makes good business sense. Since 2001 the company's Station Road

cy Comb ined and Power Plant, powered by natural gas (from all those anxious chooks, perhaps) , which recycles the site's water and even puts electricity back into the National Grid! In addition,

this June the company began pioneering trials of biodiesel fuel efficjency in their fleet of 40 transport vehicles. Biodiesel is made from used cooking oil - fried chicken, anyone?

These innovative energy-saving schemes have won Ban ham Poultry many glowing plaudits from UEA"s very Carbon

Proje ct (CRed) . With regard to the new waste - pow ered plant, Dr Bruce Tofield is enthusiastic "up to 20,000 tonnes of carbon dioxide may be saved each year by the operat1on of such a plant.

If adopted more widely by the meat and poultry processing mdustry, carbon dioxi de savi ngs could eventually exceed one m1llion tonnes each year in the UK alone."

Unfortunate ly, support for these endeavours is not universal.

Banham Poultry 1s still awa1t1ng approval from Norfolk County Council for the project to go ahead .

There has been some opposition to the scheme from the residents of Attleborough who live near the proposed site. Local Town Councils have ra1sed concerns about odour, noise and traffic disturbance a new plant may ~~ii~=> cause to the surrounding environment. However, The sub-

division of Banham poultry in charge of the project, Banham Power, insist that all these factors were taken into account in the planning process which has been given a clean bill of health by the Environmental Agency - so perhaps dissenters are just too, er, chicken . hicken Nuggets: here for your enJoyment are some Im portant chicken facts .

C

SUMMED

UP Amount of money that will be spent on christmas food and drink this year=

.-

Amount of money required to feed two million AIDS Orphaned Malawian children for ten years = Amount of money Bntain spent on the Falklands war =

[ 1.6 billion

Chicken waste, it seems, is powerful stuff- and it would be as well to harness this power for the good rather than evil.

Only this July the dreaded stuff laid waste (as it were) to three agricultural workers 1n Thetford , Norfolk . Whilst transporting four tons of concentrated chicken slurry to a recycling plant, one man succumbed to the noxious fumes emitting from an open hatch and slipped into the mobile storage tank, disappearing under the surface . Two colleagues attempted to rescue him , only to fall prey to the poisonous gases themselves and JOining h1m 1n his murky grave. A fourth man called for help and surv1ved w1th mild poisonmg. A truly crappy way to die.

*

There are four places in the United States with the word "'chicken" 1n their name. Chicken, Alaska; Chicken Bristle, in Jllino1s and Kentucky; and Ch icken Town, Pennsylvania .

Number of Buddhists living in the UK = Number of people ir1 the UK who d1e from smoking every year= Population of West Berkshire=

144,000

Number of days that one night of heavy drinking can affect your ability to think abstractly for - (abstract thmking such as relating textbooks to seminars or determining plays in football) =

*

Number of days it takes to witness the destruction of 4 million acres of ramforest =

*

Number of days it takes the avergae Brit to consume half their own body weight 1n household waste =

Alektorophobia is the Fear of chickens. Don't tell me that's not a thing you had to know.

The average mature production breed hen produces 0.2 pounds of manure daily. Who needs fossil fuel!

30

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Report by Merinne Whitton

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UEA sets sail to steal academic achievement The univ ersity rulebook was bein g torn up, set alight and fired out of a c annon las t night as UEA admitted resorting to pirac y in a bid to join the academic elite .

The admission comes just weeks after the University denied any involvement in a series of moonlight raids carried out against Cambndge University. in which books. research and at least one senior lecturer were carried away as bounty.

UEA's newly renamed Captain - former ly ViceChancellor - Oavid 'Brown Beard' Eastwood. said he deeply regretted the course of action. but felt it was necessary in the increasingly competitive world of higher education. Between long swigs of fou l-smelling grog he announced. "No scurvy clog's going to get between me and a top-five place in the Times Education Supplement's annual league table. " It is tho u ght that piracy was selected as the only viable option after other. more law-abiding methods of doing different were judged to have failed to produce satisfactory results. Now. University chiefs have drawn up a 'treasure map' on which each 'X' represents an academic institution to be plundered. Though few were willing to talk , fearing lashes from the Cat. it is understood that the raids rely on fleets of rented coaches t:lh.ing staff and trusted students to the various locations. One brave sou l recalled , ''There was one embarrassing incident when we got a puncture on the M I on the way up to Durham. I bet Captain Pugwash never had to call out the AA." Despite this· small set-back . the new po li cy is proving to be a success . And it isn't just the looting: the number of essays submitted late across UEA's faculities has dropped by 60% since walking the plank became the punishment. replacing the old system of deducting marks. A spokesperson for EAS said. "We expect the number to drop even further once we get some sharks in the lake. At the minute students only risk hypothermia and being pecked by swans. That just isn't enough."

The good results also seem to be protecting the University from legal action. A statement from the government said. "UEA now leads the world in producing students who know how to get what they want. how to take charge of a situation. how to wield a cutlass. This is exactly the kind of forward thinking education the chil dren of Britain need."

'•

our Problems Solved Prof.

Roderick Mulhapton Filkington-Phipps, Rodders to his friends, senior economic adviser to the World Bank and the IMF gives informed counsel to your personal problems.

Dear Rodders I have just split up with my long term partner. who I had come to regard as the closest of friends. Without her. life seems empty and fruitless. I don't feel as though I'm walking on a nything solid and I'm finding it hard to go through my daily routine in the knowl edge that the future ho1ds such uncertainty and doubt without her in it. She was such a special person and I thought we had the strongest of bonds that would resist all adversity.

I'm really having trouble coming to term with this special person's absence in my life.

Do you have any words of wisdom that could comfort me in this. the darkest of times?

Yours. Saddened Dear Saddened The loss of a loved one - be it through death or circumstance - is always difficult to bear. lt is at times such as this - when formulae a n d equation s do not m ake up for the heavy weight of the soul- that I turn my though t to that greatest of principles upon wh ich economic study is based. I speak. my friend. of 'The Pie'.

T he Pie (which I find to be a su itab le analogy for the ~oriel's wealth) is the zenith of economic purpose and we economists conduct all our activities in the knowledge that the world must create as large a pie as possible so that a ll the people of the world may feed from it. Until such a time as The Pie is large enough to support the world. sacrifices must be made (Iraqi civillians. for example).

Think of The Pie, take comfort in the bigger picture. and all will be well.

Alternatively. you cou ld just find some young filly with which to spend a night of shameless lust.

HRH CiiVES ClARKE AN EARFUL

The feud between Prince Charles and Norwich MP Charles Clarke looked set to continue yesterday as the Prince of Wales announced his intention to sue the Educatio n Secretary.

In a private memo faxed to every news paper in the land the Prince is reported to have said. "How dare t h at beastly man stand up o n te levisio n wi t h hi s b ig. s ticky ou t ears and call himself Ch arles, that's what I b loody we ll do and he 's t h reatening my b rand image."

It is th ou ght hi s royal highn ss copyrigh ted th e Ch arles/big ears j uxtaposition in t h e early 80s d Uiing a n abortive attem pt to produ ce an end orsed range of organ ic cotton therma l wear. Wh ile h e ha s b ee n a wa re of t he Education Secr etary's infringement fo r

several years, it was only following Clarke's recent attack that h e d ecided to take action.

Though the P1ince has long been personally associated with large ears. the feature has been an integral part of royal life for generations. having been intentionally bred into the family following the mistaken introduc tion of a s lightly over-sized cr own.

However. the Pri nce is not expected to stop with a s imp le court case. and is known to be investigating w h at power the royal fam ily still reta ins that wo uld furth er enable him to victim ise Mr Clarke.

Royal Expert Nancy Stone-Clad ding said she wou ld be surpri sed if the Prince could m uster a com b ination of m easures that wo u ld really troub le Mr Cla rke.

"His Royal Highness wi ll certainly be ab le

Above: Wherever they go , both the Prince and Mr Clarke 's ears provide amusement to sto p Ch arles Clarke fr om attending a ny Of a ll the Education Secr etary's corn men ts, Prince Charles is said to be m ost pu b lic arc h ery p rac ti ce, and th ere are certain types of fruit pr eserve that m ay be ou t of u pset with the accu sation that h e is o ut of bou n ds. bu t that is about it. T he Prince h as touch . He has an n oun ced that. if a ll his the right to u se hi s s ubj ects' h orses wh en evother plans com e to nothing. h e will b e chal lenging Mr Clarke to a d u el at da wn. er h e pleases. al thou g h I d on 't believe Mr Clarke h as one.

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ea-Cola is the world's most popular soft drink. Over one billion servings are consumed ~ery day.

In every single counry Coca-Cola outsells ~ery other soft drink (except in Scotland where it takes second plac,e after Im Bru). Even in our own humble Union it has a quiet hold over us, providing all of the soft drinks machines, and all of the sodas behind the bar. Look around you now and the chances are you will see someone drinking a Coke.

But what actually is Coca-Cola?

Where did it come from? What is it made of? If you are gong to drink so much ofthe stuff, it only seems right that you should know more about it.

Luckily, I'm here to help.

Coca-Cola was first invented in May 1886, by John Pemberton, a drug addict. The drink was called 'Pemberton's French Wine Cocoa' and the original recipe consisted of red wine, cocoa, caffeine and cocaine. lt was designed as a tonic to help relieve morphine addiction, basically by replacing it with cocaine addiction. The cocaine came from the coca leaf, and the caffeine from the kola nut, giving Coke its 'stimulating' effect, and also its name. By accident, one of the drugstores selling the drink mixed it with carbonated water, and the rest is history.

Although Coca-Cola still contains an extract of coca-leaves, this is now used only for flavouring, since the active cocaine drug was removed in 1903. In 1919, the red wine was taken out of the recipe as a response to prohibition. Despite these changes, by 1937 - only 50 years after it's invention- the drink had reached the status of a national symbol for America.

Urban legends say that there are only two people in the world who know the exact formula, and they only know half of it each. While this is probably an exaggeration, it is certainly true th11t the company keeps the recipe a closely guarded secret.

But it's no real secret that CocaCola's main ingredient is sugar. Look

high in sugar is also an independent risk-factor for a type of diabetes called type 2 diabetes. Normally, when you eat food that is high in carbohydrates, your blood sugar rises.

This makes your pancreas release a hormone called insulin, which tells your liver to store any spare carbohydrate. This can then be released later when you need more energy, and stops us having to graze the whole time like cows. If you overdo the

ed with a change in lifestyle.

So what about Diet Coke? Yes, to be fair, the diet variety of our favourite soft drink contains no sugar, no carbohydrates. In fact no anything except sodium and aspartame. Aspartame is nutra-sweet, an artificial sweetener. lt does not' cause your blood sugar to go up when you drink it, so it will not cause type 2 diabetes. lt is made from two naturally-occurring amino acids: aspartic acid and phenylalanine. There are stories linking aspartame to psychiatric problems in children, and diseases like asthma. Coca-cola denies that it has had any adverse effects,

lates your adrenal glands, making them release adrenaline, causing your heart to race and increasing the pressure in your blood vessels.

Bearing in mind these are the same blood vessels you have been furring up with sugar, it is hard for them to cope with all that blood, and your blood pressure gets even higher.

Caffeine is also addictive; as your. liver becomes more able to metabolise it, so you need more to get the same hit. Withdrawal also produces headaches, dizziness and the shakes, only relived by drinking caffeine again. Clever of Coke to put it in then.

drink in your mouth overnight, and tooth decay is generally best prevented by brushing regularly with a fluoride toothpaste, but it doesn't seem right that a drink that .can rot your teeth so effectively is marketed to children. Not to mention the fact that it contributes to the chances of them developing type 2 diabetes and makes them addicted to the caffeine.

But it's the age old truth of marketing: "Get the kiddies hooked young and you've got a customer for life".

Coke is the biggest soft-drinks company in the world. They even tell us that they invented Father Christmas. With that much power

amount of carbohydrates you take in, for example by drinking sweet drinks, then your liver cannot store all of it.

This means that your blood sugar remains high all the time, and your pancreas is continually releasing

and to be fair, any evidence to the contrary is anecdotal and unproven as yet. The · main problem is the sweetness of aspartame. Artificial sweetener is over 200 times sweeter than natural sugar, which is one of

There is one more vital ingredient in Coke which gives it that unique and refreshing taste. Acid. That's Citric and Phosphoric Acid, not LSD - sorry to disappoint you! These two lovelies are the chemicals that give Coke its tangy edge, and who along with the sugar are responsible for tooth decay. You've heard the story that a tooth placed in a glass of Coke will disappear overnight? Some_ peQple use Coke to clean their loo expensive and sticky perhaps, but it does get rid of that limescale!

Obviously you'd be a fool to keep the

and money, they can get away with pretty much anything they want: from selling us addictive caffeinated sugar which will rot our children's teeth, to cooperating with paramilitary organisations to murder trade unionists at their Colombian bottling plants. A boycott is the only way to make them stand up and take notice.

You may say boycott Coca-Cola to registe[ your disgust aHhein:orporate behaviour, I say boycott it for your own good health. I just hope you can cope with the withdrawal symptoms.

I

"Drinking a 330ml can of coke is the equivalent of drinking 14 teaspoons of sugar"

on the side of a bottle of Coke and the ingredients read; Carbonated Water, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Caramel Colour, Phosphoric Acid, Natural Flavours, Caffeine. And then there's the nutritional information:1ooml contains 39 grams of sugar. Drinking a 33oml can of Coke is therefore the equivalent of drinking 14 teaspoons of sugar.

Extraordinary when you think about it. Even the most sweet-toothed person in the world doesn't ask for 14 spoons of sugar in their tea. There wouldn't be any room. You don't put that much on your cereal. Yet many of you will be drinking at least two or three cans of Coke a day. That's 42 teaspoons of sugar.

You don't need me to tell you that this is not good for your health.

Apart from being incredibly unAtkins, taking in that much sugar, without even satisfying your hunger makes you put on weight. This weight gain makes you more likely to get heart problems, joint problems and diabetes. Having a diet that is

concrete.fashionlifesty le@uea.ac.uk 21

insulin. Eventually the poor thing gets tired, and begins to give up secreting the hormone. Also, your liver, which would usually respond to insulin by storing all that sugar, gets bored. So you have a vicious circle where your pancreas can't be bothed to release. any more insulin, and your liver can't be bothered to act on the small amount that is being released, and voil~. type 2 diabetes. Your blood sugar is high the whole time when you are eating, and yet if you stop eating for too long you become hypoglycaemic and black-out.

H

aving high blood sugar is very dangerous as it makes your blood all sticky so it cannot get round your body properly. This can cause you to get things like high blood pressure, impotence, kidney damage, nerve damage and blindness. Hardly seems worth it for a soft drink, and yet 10 million Americans have developed this -condition, which could have been avoid-

the reasons people prefer diet drinks.

You can become addicted to the sweetness, and .,...,....r.-...--......o:r-.,_ since they do not fill you up at all, when you do eat you have to have a much more ea rbo hydrate- kt'tlllll/lil.•""' rich diet to satisfy your cravings, negating any of the benefits of a diet drink.

Caffeine is another important constituent in Coca-Cola . .....,_-:><,,..,,•• This is one of the reasons the drink is so popular with students, as it helps keep them going whilst burning the candle at lr--=-~-==--:::-:.,.....--. ..---------___;....;....., both ends.

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22 concrete.fashion lifesty lc @uca.ac.uk

Concrete

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Wednesdor. Oece111hn

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200-1

Ross Grainger v isited the Baltics and discovered a place with an amazing culture, fascinating history, and very cheap beer. rom Ross Grainger and Thomas Morga n , the peo p le who brought you 'Mauritania - an anonymous country', comes their latest va g uely planned trip: 'The Ba ltics - a c h illy uto p ia', t h is tim e starring North American veteran Simon Sheridan .

Th e first thing you should know about the Baltics is that they are actually three se pa rate co untries Estonia, Latvia a nd Lithuania. Th ey sha re geographic prox imity, but do n 't like to be lump ed together as one by ignorant outside rs .

So of course we did ju s t th at.

'Where a re yo u go ing? ', people wou ld ask. 'Baltics', we' d say. The next question, to which we had severa l unspecific a nswe rs, was 'w hy?'

We ll , Ryanair recently bega n flying to Riga, the capi tal of Latvia; the Baltics are home to flying squirrels; and we're tr avell in g in Novembe r, so although it w ill be co ld , it wo n't be very busy. lt was neither busy no r o ppressive ly co ld , a nd we ha d a great tim e.

Our first main stop was Tallinn, th e Estonian capital.

Considering Esto ni a, lik e its Balti c neighbours, on ly became independent of t he USSR in 1991 it is d oi n g re markably we ll . lt joined the EU in May and parts ofTallinn resembled London o r Paris. Slick, s pr awling s ho ppin g centres, a ll-night bars and cas in os, an d one heck of a night-life a re just some of the a ttractions. There's a lso th e Old Town. As its name suggests, the Old Town is a throwback to th e c ity's beginnings . it's a quaint m aze of cobb led streets an d daunting churches th at has been unaltered for cen turi es.

We s pent our da ys in the Old Town and our nights in th e New. Th e new is ve ry new, and the draws for

tourists are everywhere. The beer is chea p (less than a pound a pint), the nightclubs and ba rs stay open unt il sunrise and keep serving all night , and the women, oh my - they're beautiful. And most , if not all, speak English.

But there 's a significant drawback to the cheap beer, all-n ight ni gh t clubs and gorgeous women .

Estonia has the highest HIV in fection rate in the EU. it's small - 1% of the pop u lation - but it 's e nou g h to remind you how important it is to cove r up should an Estonian girl be wooed by your charm. it's important to re member that although th e three Ba lti c na ti ons a re very advance d , they a re surrounded by Rus sia an d Bela rus ,' two co untri es wi th high infect ion rates and a poor health ca re sys te m .

Somewhere between the Old Town and th e New City is the 'othe r' Old Town, the Soviet one. When I hea r Soviet I think of one word: bleak. Bleak, bland buildings rising up in to a grey, drizzly sky - that's w hat I imagined, and we saw plenty o f it. Tallinn and the o th er capitals are wo rk in g hard to shake off the Soviet image, but we saw modernity and Co ld War livin g side by side. For every conc rete apartm en t b lock there

by most of the 20-somethings.

There are a lso a monstrous num ber of newspapers. lt was hard to discern the Sun-esque tabloids from the classy, Guardian-esque papers, especia ll y s in ce we didn't speak the language. Bu t the point is newspapers and magazines a re immensely popular in the Ba ltics . Unlike here they d on't feel the ne ed to put a transparent sheet of grey cl ing film ac ro ss the cove r of dirty magazines, a nd a ll the ch ildre n in th e Baltics must be really tall, o r just un interes te d in buying smu tty magazines, because the porn is s tacked on th e mi ddl e rows w ith the likes of Gardener's Weekly an d Oer Spiegel. n the modern parts of the ci ty it's pos s ible to get by without knowing anything about the Balti cs. As John Travo lta sa ys in Pulp Fiction: "They go t the sa m e s hit we do , but it's just a little different." Example? Well, in Latv ia yo u ca n get a carton of milk, right, but th ey don't ca ll it a carton o f milk.

They ca ll it somethin g in Latvia n that I co uldn 't understand. I bought it anyway, got b ack to the hos tel and poured it a ll over m y ce rea l, and recoiled in horro r a nd amusement when I rea li sed it was c ream. The

I

not only dirt cheap in the Ba lti cs, but sprinkled all over the c iti es. In Vilnius, for examp le (my favourite of th e three capi ta ls), you ca n c hoo se from a large supe rm a rket wi th eno ugh liquor to inebriate Norfo lk , o r choose from one of the many street huts, which sell ciga rettes by

"The street markets and local restaurants are filled with old women who grew up under a communist thumb. The malls, though, are filled with young women wearing knee-length leather boots and chatting on mobiles." is an expensi ve c lo thes s hop . Fo r every creaking tra m bursting w ith pa sse ngers there is a Me rced es or Land Rover. We wandered round an open market filled wi th old women selling hand-made w inter ga rment s, then wa lked a couple o f bl oc ks and ended up insid e a fours t orey mall where an Est onian pop路 star was g iving a concert.

You see th e co ntra s t in the people as we ll.

Th e s treet markets and loca l re stauran t s a re filled w ith o ld women w ho g rew up under a comm uni s t thumb .

The malls, th ough, are filled w ith young women wearing kn eelen gth leather boots and cha tting on mobiles.

The perfe ct beauty of adve rtisin g models th at we a re so used to 1n Britain is just as prevalent ove r there , and their ca ll to perfection is being heeded

c lue, Simon p oi nted out, was that it was measured in g rams , not litres.

My co rnfl a kes we re ruined .

Perhaps to make up for all the partying th at was banned during Soviet t imes, the nig htclubs in the Bal ti cs are open all ni gh t. After a rough night out in Club Hollywood in Ta llinn , we got a n overnight coac h to Viln ius , the capital of Lithuan ia. All the coach journeys we took were enjoyab le bot h for the recovery time it gave us an d for the sce n ery.

Outside the ca pital s there is very littl e urba n s praw l - thick pine a nd spruce fo re s ts cover most of th e lan d sca pe a nd lakes and river s abo und . Nature 's sprawl is interrupt路 ed every now and then by a tiny vil lage with an u tte rly unpro no u nceable name. Once . we re ac hed Vilnius we were exhausted. As we s taggered through the c ity in search of a hoste l we saw the same contrasts between m o dern and Soviet.

Th e O ld Town in Vi lniu s was ju s t a s picturesque as in Tallinn a nd Ri ga, the nightlife just as entertaining, and the accommodation just as accommodating. We we re blessed whe n it came to picking hostels. In Estonia we stayed a t the H os tel Vana Tom. Loca ted o n the same s treet as several c la ssy bars, it 's also on th e floor below a st rip club, one of many in the Ba lti cs. In Vilniu s we came across four Americans disgu sted at the e lecti on re s ult , but happy to drink their sorrows away w ith us in the hostel kitc hen . lt rea ll y was a s up e rb trip, and a perfect a d ve rtis e m e nt for chea p, la rge ly unplanned s tudent travel; [200 was enough for ten day s, and th e flight was [90 return . All of life 's essentia ls- beer and c iga rettes - are

the pack and bri ck. Either way, your hea lth is gua ran teed to plummet qui ck ly a nd cheaply.

We ended o ur trip w here we began: Riga. Loca te d in the middle of Latvia in the m idd le of the Baltics, Riga is a wonderful city with enough bars, clubs an d cas inos to keep you bu sy unti l the Gulf of Finland th aws out. Alth o ugh it's the largest of the capita ls , hostels a re a rarity. Our guide books suggested we fin d a hotel, but afte r leav ing the bu s s top we ca me , purel y by chance, to the Riga Old Town H os tel. it's in the ce ntre of the city, and has everything yo u

0

need in a hoste l; warm beds, showers, internet, kitchen and a sp iral s taircase that's really hard to walk up when you're drunk.

I don't know what it is about the Balti cs th a t is so a pp eal ing to Au ssies, but in this hoste l half of the people we me t were from Down Under. The othe r half was Ameri can an d Finn ish, an d there was one legen d a ry Ca nadian bloke who made o ur las t ni g ht o ne to remember. We sa t in the hostel kitchen w h ile he played and sang one hilarious song after a nother o n his gu itar, songs such as ' I lik e to f~' ck ri ch people's daughters', 'Single white male aged 24' an d 'Being a n ext rem ist is giving me the blues'.

Fo r the next few month s, th e Balti cs will be unpleasan t to anyone o ther than Fathe r Christmas. We fe lt w inter encroach ing du ring the las t few days, a nd it is bitter. The lo ca ls ass ured us that during win ter it wo ul d be be low ze ro near ly eve ryday.

H oweve r once Spring arrives I sugges t yo u get out to the EU 's furthest frontier and experience the Balti cs.

You're a short coach journey away from Russia a nd Belarus , but you'll feel like you're in the heart of Europe. it's rea lly c heap, and did I mention the fl yi ng squirrels> Like the sound of it? Check out www.visitl ithuania.net.

w

... www.concrete-online.com

December JSf 2004

Festive fun and fashion Anna t ward & Donna Boam As its the last fashion shoot before pies, and put their wonderful modelChristmas, it seemed only right that ling skills to good use. the Concrete team should get togethMerry Christmas everyone!! er, drink some wine, eat some mince

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Update your life, update your wardrobe and join the latest trend to hit the high street and get your card now... Available from 25th October 2004. www.missselfridge.co.uk To celebrate the launch of the new re-loadable gift-card we have a pre loaded gift card with [25 on it to give away. For you chance to win simply answer the following question: When are the gift<ards available from?

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24 concrete.editori al@ uea .ac .uk

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HOROSCOPES

Wednesdav, December ! 5 '. 2004

CONCRETE

Aries Ma r 21- Apr 19 My crysta l ba ll tells m e there's a disap pointing Chri s tm as in sto re for you sweel-pea.

Don't fret. New Year celebra ti o n s wi ll more than ma ke up for the lumps of coa l in yo ur s toc king. so save yo ur cas h a n d m a ke s ure you've got yo ur bestest u ndi es on.

Cancer Jun 22 - Jul 22 r-::::oiii"!'~i:"l You 've bee n hitting the sauce. getting in th e festive celebra to ry mood . There's no harm in thi s. but you must ma ke s ure .__:.__ _ _:........~ th a t ¥O U ca n loo k a ll you comrades in the eye th e ne,..·t mornin g s u gar. Striptease is best le ft to the professiona ls. If problems persist. dz·i n k a lone in the future.

Libra Sept 23 - Oct 23 . - - -.----., Your c u llina ry s ki lls will co m e in more ~~ than a little handy this fo rtnight. Woo . . . . . th a t s pecial so meone ....... v,rith yo uz· infa mou s coq-a u -vi n . it beats the co mp etiti on h<'m ds down. The ir me::tsly e fforts will res ult in nothing better than a stale cheese toasti e, so bid e your lime a nd pounce.

Capricorn Dec 22 - J a n 19 Get yourself down to th e gy m. wibbly! those Th er e are amo ng u s that like mea t ou t ou r bone. but n eeding a s it down after climbing th e s la iz· in th e li brary jus t is n't on.

For e ffective motivation. stick a pic ture of a doughnut to th e wa ll in front of yo ur treadm ill.

Lucky Words : s ioc kin g fil ler

Lucky- Words: b rassiers ::tnd bottl es

Lucky Words: fondu e a nd fond le

Lucky Words: clogged a rte ry blues

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:~-

Taurus Apr 20 - May 20 You've fin a lly co me to th e realisa ti on th at stalks most students' existen ce.

You. sweetie. are skint.

Take a dva ntage o f L - - - - - - . . . . l this by fo rc ing fri ends a nd fa mily to acce pt homemade gifts this yea r and spend the cas h you've aved on a trea t for yourself. yo u've earned it.

Leo Ju l 23 - Aug 22

.,.----. Dumped? You didn't need th em anyway petal.

T a ke that rock hard arse of yours out on th e town and bag yourself an easy lay.

Short term solutions will stand you in good stead fo r the rollercoas ter of roma n ce that 2005 wi ll prove to be for you.

Scorpio Oct 24 - Nov 21 You're ma king sez; ,. . , - ous pla ns to d ig a big ,. _\. hole in th e squ a re. ··lit.~ bury yo urself in it ~ -,..1 a nd pay a well mean.-: ' ing passe r by to ce ment you in. All part of a newly devised masterp lan to avo id hand ing in a ny coursewo rk, hop ing that your lecturers will think yo u 've been abd u cted. Don't.

Aquarius J a n 20 - Feb 18 Give in to your erealive urges my lovely!

You're a budding artist at heart and you ca n 't deny it.

Sta rt a band th is . fortnight. and abuse every right it affords you.

Th e gro u pies wi ll come in handy and the copious drinking will make every d ay fee l li ke Christmas. A star is bo rn !

Lucky Words: sticky-back plas tic

Lucky Words: ch ea p dates a plenty!

Lucky Words: s pam a nd candles

Lucky Words: intimate autographs!

Gemini May 21 - Jun 2 1 Oh my lardy! You have bee n good recently . haven't you poppe t?

C lea n hous e. cl ea n m ind a nd (a lmost) co mpleted essays!

Give yo urse lf a pat on th e back and s tay in bed for the next fortni ght m a king up fo r a ll the lost laziness. Watc h a ll th e omnibuses you can s tomach .

Virgo Aug 23 - Sept 22 You may think it's ok to have m a ture tastes. but qu ite frankly hon ey that n ew sq u eeze that you 've got your eye on needs a zimm er fra m e .

Drop th e old d ear a nd embrace yo ur yo u th to the fu llest.

At least you ca n stop havi n g to reco rd Antiques Roadshow now.

Sagittarius Nov 22 - Dec 2 1 Selfish! · That's what you are darling, and its most umbecoming. Tough love I' m afra id . It's the only thing for you right now, na u gh ty li ttl e scamp th at you a re. Get yourself down to your nearest d ay cen ter and read trashy novels to the crin k lies unti l you r th roat is sore .

Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 S a nta h as a big someth ing in h is sack for you. pe t.

You've a lways loved prese nts ! Don't be too eage r to unwrap it though . or it may turn out to be s malle r than you thou ght. Be patie nt and you' ll find that Chris tm as d ay wi ll b e an a bsolute crac ker.

Lucky Words: my duvet is my best fri end

Lucky Words: Loose kaboose

Lucky Words: war stories a nd wh eel cha irs

Lucky Words: lt just went off in my ha nd

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Letters ...

Conservative thoughts on debt

Keep pushing for reductions

Dear Sir.

Dear Concrete

I am wri tin g in res ponse to Mr. Peacoc ks' thoughtful letter regarding hi gher educa ti on funding. His letter makes seve ral inco rrec t ass um ptions abou t the Con servative hi gher education proposals that it wou ld be prudent to co rrec t. He sugges ts that the Conservative proposals will create a "great imba lance in Higher Educatio n" but this is not the case. His belie f that the new loans sys tem will "take from the poor and give to the rich' ' is not the case. Poorer students wi ll need more fina ncial assistance to go to university and the Co nse rvat ive po licy has pro vision for this with the continuation of grants for poorer students. With the sc rappi ng of mean s testing it wi ll also help th ose stude nts from mi dd le income backgrounds as well. o student would be worse off under the Conscrvat i vcs.

What fantastic local newspapers and radi o we have in Norwich. They ha ve been superb exposi ng the prob lems that the Norwich City Co unci l has wi th its CityCare contract. The reports that finally the City and CityCare have caved in and agreed to re- nego tiate th eir co ntract is wonderfu l news . There is eve n ta lk o f co mpensati on for leaseho lders.

A gradu ate on average ea rnin gs will have nearly half as much debt th an under Labour. The y will pay the debt off 2 years earlier and wi ll pay back more than a qu art er less than under Labour.

Even th ough we have been trying to tell City Hall of th e prob lems for over two years now; they tried to ignore us. Even th ough we sugges ted that contrac ts seemed to be inflated by so metimes over six times their real va lue; they tri ed to ignore us. Eve n th ough we reported lease ho lders were angry at e norm ous bills th ey co uld not afford: they tried to ign ore us. Even though we to ld them th at if the Leaseholders were being robbed then it wo ul d mean that the Co unci l tenan ts were being robbed too: they tried to ig nore us. We even to ld Lib-Dc m deputy leader at a Leaseholders meetin g at City Hall : anti he tri ed to ignore us. Even the City Treas urer, supposed ly the guardian o f the City' s financ es . has never replied to our letters; and tried to ignore us.

o student wil l be worse o fT under the Conservatives.

Yours faithfull y.

Robcrt Barc lay Co Vice Chairman and Treasurer.

UEA Conservat ive Society

Why has it taken all th is time and a campai gn by the local medi a to make this hap pen? As ordinary citizens of the Cit y. we try to get answers. bu t way back in February of thi s year the Chi ef Exec uti ve at City Ha ll told us they wouldn't repl y "to requests for in formati on from peopl e wh o do not have a direc t interes t in the ma tter··.

City Hall has tried to block us.

As I said at the beginning, the local newspapers and radi o have been bril liant but they shoul d not stop now. The citizens, Council Tax payers , tenants, and leaseho lders are clearl y paying way over the odds. and the Lib-Dems running City Hall arc clearly not willing to challenge anything. As ordinary citizens we are co ntinu ing to challenge City Hall over Un ivers ity Ward con tracts like the Russet Grove and Pippin Green roofing contract. We believe the Lib-Dems at City Hall could cut the bill s fo r the ·tenants and lease holders by half. If it can happen there it can happen all over the Ci ty. What a mass ive saving for everyone!

Yours since re ly Bert Bremner

concrete.news@uea.ac.uk Editor: Helen Pike Legal Editor: luliet Harris Political Editor: Sa m Webber Health Editor: Clare Aitchison Educatiom Editor: lessica Fielder International Editor: Nadia Bennich

Editor: Ross Grainger Deputy Editor: Lucy Mowatt

concrete.turf@uea.ac.uk Editor: lames Conway Deputy: Hannah Newton

concrete.lashionlifestyle@uea.ac.uk Editor: Anna Steward Deputy: Donna Boam

concrete.sports@uea.ac.uk Editor: Marc Dudley Ross Sarah

Colcrttt Wednesday, December ! 51, 2004

concrete.sport@uea.ac.uk 25

www.concrete-online.com

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Language students win Ziggurat football tournament against all odds, whilst 810 knock CAP off top spot in the overall standings Marc Dudley Sports-Editor Last week, the biggest and most stressful tournament in the ziggurat competition came to a conclusion with the Men's Football Finals.

Sixteen teams progressed from the qualifYing stages. with some schools getting more than one team into the final sixteen.

However. the story of how LLT managed to go all the way is something you would usually see in a Hollywood movie. With fifteen seconds left of the final qualifYing game and LLT on their way out, Wil Hardman of LLT blasted home the schools only goal of the qualifYing stages and secured the tean1 's progress to the finals as one of the best runnersup. On the morning of the finals. the team was on the verge of pulling out. due to lack of players. However, some good work between the sports-reps and remaining LLT players meant the school just managed to put a team together.

Before the finals kickedoff. EDU were hoping to win the competition they won last year, and decided to play their first joker of the Ziggi.rrat competition. With three teams in the finals , they were in confident mood they were going to repeat the previous year's success.

DEV and MED also had three teams in the final 16, whilst ENV managed to get

two of their teams into the finals. LAW, MGT and the underdogs of F1V, ECO and LLT were the last teams to qualify. with the latter three hoping that they were not jusf there to make up the numbers.

EDU's first team blasted their way into the SemiFinals with a 9-0 win in the last 16, and a 3-1 victory over MED in the QuarterFinals. LLT managed to find the scoring touch after only. one goal in the qualifYing rounds , six went past LAW and then they managed another four to beat MGT to progress to the Semi-final.

DEV 3 also impressed in their first match winning 7- 1 over FTV. and booked their place in the last four with a close 1-0 win over MED 4 .

ECO, another team that surprised everyone. progressed after two close victories against the bigger schools of EDU 3 and ENV 2 .

The semi-finals saw a repeat of last year's finals with the two big schools of DEV and EDU battling it out, whilst LLT and ECO slogged it out for the other final spot. A close game between the giants saw the favorites EDU book their place in the final, whilst an amazing game between the "underdogs" ended with LLT winning 5-3 in a game that could have gone either way.

Whether it was the luck of the draw and the magic of football, or just the determination, LLT- the small language school - was in the final against the P.E teach-

Ziggurat School Standings after 7 events 1. 810 (Biology) · .

517 (J)512 2. CAP (Chemestry & Pharmacy) 3. MED/HPP (Medical/Health Policy & Practice) 500 4: ENV (Enviromental Studies) 497 (J)485 5. AHP /CMP (Allied Health Professionals/ Computing Sciences) 6. DEV (Development Studies) 480 (J)479 7. EDU (Education & Lifelong Learning) 8. LAW (Norwich Law) 461 9. MTH/NAM (Mathematics/Nursing & MidWifery) 427 10. LLT (Language. Linguistics & Translation) 370 11. PSS/SWK (Social Work & Psychosocial Studies) 361 12. JUS (History) .

291 13. MGT (Management) 14. ECO/PlU/PSI (Economics/Philosophy/ 226 Political, Social & lnternational) 15. WAM (World Art & Music) 176 16. AMS/FTV/LIT (Amertcan/Ffun & Television/ 93 Uterature and Creative Writing) (J)

=Joker Played

ers of EDU. The final saw both teams go for it with tackles flying in frorri all directions. Half-way through the match EDU had a goal disallowed. LLT then went straight up the other end and slotted the ball home to take a 1-0 lead. The last four minutes of the match were not pretty, with LLT doing everything absolutely everything - to keep a clean sheet. With the fans, who

Football Final Results Last 16 EDU 1- ENV4 MED 1- DEV 4 DEV3- F1V MED4 -DEV 1 ECO- EDU 2 ENV2- EDU3 LLT- LAW MGT4-MED3

9-0 1-0 7-1 1-0 2-1 3-2 6-2 4-2

Quarter-Final EDU- MED 1 DEV3- MED 4 LLT- MGT4 ECO- ENV2

3-1 1-0 4-1 3-2

Semi-Finals EDU- DEV3 LLT- ECO

2-1 . 5-3

FINAL LLT- EDU 1

1-0

were all behind LLT. and the "give-everything" style of defending, the Language students managed to pull off the shock of the tournament and win 1-0.

The shocked faces of the LLT players after the game told the whole story. "How did we just f**cking win the whole thing?" was heard over and over again from various members of the LLT team. it is the first time in the history of the Ziggurat tournament that LLT have managed to win an event, and with the men's football being the biggest of them all, and the fact that LLT struggle to compete every week, made the achievement even more remarkable. The only downside is the fact that they only had one team entered. Schools received an extra eight points for each extra team they managed to enter, so the win has not done much to their overall Ziggurat position. However. the LLT team won't care, as winning the football season has made their season!

As for the over~ standing, CAP. who had a disas-

Football Results Schools best placed team 1. LLT 2.EDU 3.DEV 4. ECO/PHI/PSI 5.ENV 6.MED 8.MGT 14.IAW 14. AMS/FIV.LIT 18. 8[0 21. PSS/SWK 23.MTH 23. HIS 25. AHP/CMP 32. WAM 37.CAP

Campus Challenge Results 1. MTI-1/NAM 2. BIO 3.CAP 4.EDU

5.ENV 6.DEV

7.MED 8. AHP/CMP 9.LA.W lO.HIS

••

up to seventh after cleverly playing their joker.

As for the Campus trous performance in the Challenge two weeks ago. football, were knocked off MTH/NAM managed to get top spot after BIO finally their first win since merging managed to catch up with into one team. They beat of them. MED leaped into · the top two teams of BIO and third, whilst a solid team CAP into second and third, performance from the ENV respectively.

Today, the men's and team saw them shoot up into fourth only three points women's swimming gets behind their ,Iivals. The fact under way with the final that CAP are the only school event of the term being in the top four to have women's football on Tuesday played a joker, means they 7th December. With only now have a big fight on their twenty points between the hands to retain their title top four, this year's ·Ziggurat from last year. competition is looking like it LLT's win moves them up is going to go all the way to to tenth. whilst EDU move wire.

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26 concretc .sport @uea.ac .uk "'

DUDDERS SPEAK Marc Oudley speaks his mind on burning issues

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•

What th e f*ck! That was th e feeling many British Rugby League fans were left with after the disastrous TriNations Final de feat to the Aussies. It was painful to watch the way they ~~~~-~..__.ILi.l completed out-classed u s , and the fact that we "thought" we· had a chance to b eat them, makes it hurt even more . I always felt that after we b eat the Kangaroos in the g roup m atch that it was a game that gave us false hope. Many seemed to forget that Australia had a lready qualifi ed for the final , so they were not as committed in that m atch as the British were. so the Lions were always going to b e in with a chance. Also, th e Aussies were missing Darren Lockyer. arguably the best player in the world, in the first two en counters with th e Lions. The return of the Kangaroo captain in the final gave Australia the extra class they needed. and his presence on the field shows you that one player can really make a difference to a team! We s till h ave a lot to learn on the International stage, and sooner or later we are bound- to b eat them. Hopefully, in next year's World Cup Final, as we seem to enjoy bea ting the men down-under on the bigstage!

Now, on a more serious note, the big story ·in the media ove r the past fortnight was the amazing scenes in Spain.

Like everyon e has mentioned before m e , it was one of the worst displays of racial abuse I have ever seen. Hopefully we will not see anything like this again , but with the way FIFA a r e handling the situation (ve1y ... very ... slowly) I am afraid it will not be the last time we see it. And the fact that Spain seem to have a fascist in charge of the national team only s hows you that th e Spanish FA are not doing their job either. All the a buse from the fans thrown at Shawn Wright-Phi llips, r.r..-"'-"-~0:.

Ashley Cole a nd Jermaine Defoe was no doubt caused by the negative views of Spanish coach Luis Aragonas , and this could a ...:::...- -liliiiC..a..,. have b een avoided if the man was sacked after his first racial outburst against Thierry Henry. However, racial abuse is not something new on the European continent.

Great Britain is miles ahead of its European neighbours in the fight against racism , and in places like Italy and Spain, racism is still a major issue. It is going to take a long time to fight the problem, and even though I don't like admitting it, the problem will probably never go away. There will always be a small crowd, that will use racial abuse to target opposition players. Like with the small number of hooligans in England, the small number of racists in Spain ruin the game for the rest of us. This is why FIFA need to act now, and it is this that r eally annoys me. Whenever England get into trouble they get treated really badly. The number of times we might have been chucked out of a competition for not being able to control our fans (who happen to be outside the ground!). However, this happens and FIFA have not mentioned what they are going to do . However, throwing a team out of a competition for something their fans have done is a bit harsh . They could, for example, force Aragonas to be sacked, and if the Spanish FA refuses, then they should be thrown out of the competition.

Another thing they could do is move the game to a neutral venue and ban any Spanish fans from entering the ground.

They could also ban the match from being shown on Spanish 1V, so the fans at home would not be able to watch the game.- Playing behind closed doors is not a good idea. as it affects both teams and Spain would still be on home turf. FIFA need to make some clear rules about the issue, and stick to them like they stick to their drug and hooligan policies.

What the fans d id in Spain was a dis grace. However, it would be even more of a disgrace if FIFA let the Spanish get away with it. It is time they start showing a bit of backbone and start handing out severe punishments which they threaten to do with England every single year. The problem h as to b e dealt with. and wha tever FIFA decid e wi ll send out a clear message to the footballing world. It is for that reason a lone that th ey must give a severe punishmen t to Spain. If they don 't, then FIFA and Sepp Blatter would, in a way. be just as bad as the fans in Madrid on that unforgettab le night.

www.concrete-online.com

Concrete w~dn esdar. Dn~111her 1st 2004

A POINT AWAY FROM NATIONALS Aye-Aye Ultimate Frisbee lose Playoff match in Sudden Death but acheive all-time best

George Marshall The UEA Ultim ate Frisbee team (Aye-Aye) narrowly missed out on entry to the nationals despite a spectacular performance in a qualifying t ournam e n t la st weekend.

Aye-Aye recorded their highest position to date after a sti-ing of victories led them to a dramatic p lay off quali fica ti on match agains t arc h riva ls 'S u b li m e· of Portsm o u th Un ive rs ity . bu t t r agically lost in s u d d en

death.

Team capta in.

Will Routh led his team by example with an amazing perfurmance throughout the tournament. and was presented the prestigious 'Most Valuable Player' award for the final match. Captain Routh said "The team gelled at the lime. a ll the hard training paid off'.

The fin a l match against Sublime started at ferocious pace fu elled by mutual an imosity for either s ide . Aye Aye played excellen t defence givin g a n early 2-0 lead.

Unfortunately.

Sub li m e came back rapidly with some highly contentious points to reverse the score to 5-2.

In the absence of a referee. arguments between the players regarding an illegal point scored by Sublime halted play and elevated testosterone levels even higheL Encouraged by massive spectator support. AyeAye regained composure and blocked the sublime offensive with some s tunnin g d e fe n ce. With 15 second s rema in ing. Aye -Aye levelled th e score to 5-5 . The gam e

entered sudden death. and an intense battle was concluded by a lanky 6'7" Sublime player. who by catching the disc in the scoring zone. won the match and ended Aye-Aye's hopes of making the nationals for the first time.

The first team's performance was matched by excellent display by the second teain. led by the society president Alex Rigge. Seeded 15th out of 16 teams. the second tea m pu lled a h ig hly encouraging performance to fini s h 7th. The second team b eat several expe r ienced fi rst teams. despite having a numb er of first year players sure to be up a nd Iising stars for future years. Rigge said. "The performance by the first years and whol e team was unbelievab le".

First year. Chri s Davies made a magnificent catch to sco r e the winning point against the 'Disc Doctors·. but smashed his knee in the process and remained injured for the rest of the wee ke nd.

The weekend's performa n ce by both teams certifies . that Aye-Aye Frisbee team contin u es to go from st r engt h to strength. To quote Captain Will Routh. ''The future is bright - the futu re is Aye-Aye".

FUN WEEKEND FOR SAILORS IN WEYMOUTH UEA sailing team gain experience from sailing against the best in a National BUSA competition.

Tim Grah a m & Fra n Bonnington On the 5th and 6th November the UEA sailing club took part in the BUSA Fleet Racing National Championshi ps held at Weymouth and Po r tland S ailing Acad emy.

T h e cl u b e n tered four boa ts in the Laser 2 class.

T im Grah a m & E m ma Moreton were t h e c rew m em bers of the first boat. wh ilst Fran Bonnington & Pete r Carleton (Boat 2). Tamsin Butcher & Mickey Longstaff (Boat 3) and Ben Salaam Reed & Pau l Alani (Boat 4) completed the UEA team.

The first day saw ,·elatively light conditions in the morning as the boats look to the water• for the first race.

However. much confusion

about t h e co urse le ft m ost of th e fl eet u n s ure wh er e they h ad fin is h ed ove r a ll an d a ft e r sever a l pro tests t h e resu lts were ta ken fro m eai·lier on in th e race. The UEA b oa t of Reed & Alan i retired with a ripped spinna ker. As the secon d race of th e day got un d erway. t h e w ind s tarted to in crease a n d t hi s res u lted in seve ral d ramatic capsizes amongst t h e en tire fl eet. including Reed & Ala ni who capsized just before the fini s h line. As they c rossed the finish li ne upsid e down th ey were awarded a 'Did Not Finish' result on the scoreboa1·cl.

The second day saw even lighter conditions for the early start with many of the fleet feeling the effects of llw night before. The two races passed fairly uneventfully

with a ll UEA boats finishin g both races.

Overall. o u t of 58 boats.

Graham & Moreton finished 25th.

Bonnington & Carleton finished 34th.

Butcher & Longstaff finished 38th and Reed & Alani finished 49th. In the team pi-ize

UEA fin ished 17th out of 22.

The overall wi nne rs of the Laser 2 lleet we re Gemma Friea & Sophie Esson from G lasgow UniveJ·sity. who won eve1y race . For the second year running Exeter won the overall team prize.

Cotcrttt Wednesday, December J5 1, 2004

www.concrete-online.com

concrete.sport@uea.ac.uk 27

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UEA men's first team struggle in as they prepare for relegation battle, whilst the seconds take the title four weeks before Christmas In place of the injured Jake

Ross Grainger Th e m e n 's football team have a bat tle on their hands as the team have st ruggled to find form so far this season. Allegations of under funding aside, it has be en a dramatic opening to t he n ew seas on.

The first team progressed in the Junlor Cup, but had another frustrating start to the BUSA campaign.

The season actually started two weeks later than usual for UEA. Cambridge could not play their opening match on the 13th of October, and the away match against Lincoln the following week had to be rescheduled after UEA's bus broke down and the team arrived too late.

Things finally got under way on the 27th of October at home to Bedford. Captain Lee Pendrey led out his newlook team, a combination of Improved second team players and a selection of freshrs. They gave a great performance and claimed a vital 1-0 win. New right-winger Sven Siegin settled the match with a speculative long-range effort that was just out of the keeper's reach.

Unfortunately poor away form continues to plague UEA. Away to Warwick at the beginning of November. the team lost 1-0 despite a strong performance. A week later away at Birmingham things got even worse.

Although UEA matched Birmingham for most of the first h alf, the early start and long journey eventually took their toll. After going 1-0 down midway through, the team responded immediately and equalised thanks to a fine finish from striker Mike Stevens. Just before half time, though. UEA conceded again, and In the second half

leaked three more soft goals to give Birmingham a score line they didn't deserve.

Had the team gone out of the Junlor Cup. which they are current holders of after winning the competition last year at Carrow Road. the season might have gone downhill rapidly. Away to Thorpe Rovers. though. the team gave one of the best performances of the year to move Into the fourth round.

Duncan McHardy got things started with · a close range finish after good work on the left by Steve Moore. First year centre back Paul Andrews, playing in midfleld

FEN(IN(i TO THE TOP

Sarah Smith Last Wednesday saw UEA's men's fencing team achieve their. fifth win of the BUSA season beating Staffordshire (Stoke) 135-100.

The week before saw a convincing 135-82 win against the Warwick first team, continuing their unbeaten home record

since last season. Their score of 135 meant the team won all three weapon categories in each match. Their 100% winning streak keeps on going with the team not having lost a single weapon in any match since facing Birmingham at the beginning of term. For each weapon category (foil, epee and sabre) bouts are played until one team scores 45.

The impressive results by

the UEA fencing team means they remain in second place behind Birmingham in their BUSA Midlands Conference .

UEA's team of the year winners 2003/04 are hoping to equal or better the results from last year where they reached the BUSA Shield Final, and will be hoping to win their rema ining two matches in the initial rounds of the competition .

Berry, headed UEA 2-0 ahead In the second half.

Moore got the reward for his good play when he made it 3-0 with a lovely chip from outside the area.

Rovers battled back with two goals in quick succession to make it a frantic last ten minutes. UEA held firm , though, and booked their spot in the fourth round where they will face local hard men Earlham.

Unfortunately this good cup performance was not matched in the next BUSA match. UEA made the short trip to Cambridge on the 17th of November and lost 4l. A torrid opening twenty minutes saw the team go behind quickly. UEA gradually gained composure, but conceded a killer second goal just before halftime.

Manager Gary Butcher's halftlme team talk did the trick as UEA dominated the

second half. Sven Siegin got the goal they craved. but as the team piled forward Cambridge got two on the break to leave UEA in the drop zone.

Things got worse in the BUSA campaign when UEA played Lincoln at home this past Wednesday. In desperate need of a win to move out of the relegation zone, the team lost 2-1. Veteran forward Dan Petto got the only goal from the penalty spot. as UEA struggled to create anything on the day.

This loss meant UEA were bottom of their sixtean1 group halfway through the campaign. Losing to Cambridge two days later would have been disastrous.

But having been beaten 4-1 just over a week earlier, UEA dominated the match and won 4-0. Playing a 4-3-3 and favouring the long ball, UEA grabbed four goals in the first half with two for

McHardy, and one each for Burton and first-year left back Dave Mahoney.

It's been a mixed season for the firsts. but the seconds are having the time of their lives . · This past Wednesday they beat De Montford Bedford 5 - 1 to waltz to the BUSA Midlands Conference 5D title. Captain and leading scorer Chris Westwood described the preChrlstmas title as "f***ing quality."

MENS FOOTBALL

BUSA MIDLANDS DIV 1 A

Lincoln

PWD LGD Pts 6 51 0 9 16

B'mingham 6 4 1 l 8 Cambrtdge 6 2 2 2 -2 DMU (B) 6 I 1 4 -5

13 8 4

Warwick

6 1 1 3 -6

4

UEA

6 2

o4

-4

a•

• Deducted 3 points for failIng to turn up to Lincoln match on 20th Oct .

Lincoln awarded win

L_o-------:PE_N_M_Ho_uR_s_Ao_Av___, ___

7 DAYS A WEEK 20 Snooker tables 3 Pool tables 2 American pool tables Satellite TV Video Games £250 jackpot machines Hot and cold food available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week Licensed bar at low prices 10am·11pm, 12·10.30pm Sun

ISTUDENT MEMBERSHIP £31 St Mary's Plain, Norwich Tel: 627478 Only 5 minutes from Norwich market

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PIRATES ON COURSE FOR PIAYOFFS Sharla Ansett

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With the term drawing to a close the 'Pirates' can look back on the first section of their season with pride.

They have commenced their season with some remarkable performances , which can be illustrated through the ir impressive results.

Th eir first match is a represen tative example of this category of performance with an outstanding trouncing of the APU "Phantoms· 57-6. with this result th e boys set th e tone for their proceeding matches. Undesirably their next scheduled match was agai nst the four times champions, the Her1fordshire 'Hurricanes.· Whe re the 'Pirates' perform ed well but unfortunately cou ldn't sec ure a win.

Essex 'Blades· was up next for their defeat against the mighty 'Pirates' with bitter riva lry fe lt by both sides and to say the least by the cheerleaders! The boys stopped them in their tracks and went on to gain their second success of the season. by defeating them 28- 19. F'inally to add to their numerous successes the 'Pirates' beat the Greenwich 'Mariners' 28-6 in their most recent match to date.

Peter Davis of the 'Pirates' has confidence in the team. he said after their s u ccess at Greenwich.

"With the impressive performance today and the win at Es sex last week it s hould prove to be a great season ...

The team nopes to round of the year with another win in their final match before Christmas, on the 5th December. where they take on Nottingham 'Outlaws' a t h ome .

UEA outclass De Montfort Bedford 24-0 in BUSA League to keep promotion hopes alive.

Darren Stott Th e UEA ru gby tea m won a co mprehen s ive victo ry aga inst Bedford las t Wednesd ay. The home s ide s ta rted the ga m e in a confid ent mood and piled th e pressure on the visitors from Bedford from th e first whistle.

The pressure resulted in an early penalty kick ed goa l

by F'ly- half lain Young. Soon , The vis itors s tarted to ma ke basic erro rs an d the inevitable occurred when a Bedford a ttack broke d own .

UEA ga th e red possessio n a nd after good link-up play by the Backs, young received the ball a nd pmduced a n exce lle nt weaving run to score a try on the 10 minute m ark . UEA conve rted th e press ure into po in ts <! nd started to totally domina te.

They were more organised and their play was increasingly effective At 20 minutes, Young produced th e best mom ent of th e ma tch with a sublime solo try. The kick and chase was executed with precis ion and finish ed off in style .

Young co n verted his own try to ma ke it 17-0 . By this the tea m we re s tage, encamped in Bedford 's half.

The home team ma de co n s ta nt drives throu gh th e middle to consolida te th eir a dva ntage. Only a break in play , due to injury, gave Bedford a respite . After th e d elay, the oppos ition gath ered the m selves a nd ca me back into th e gam e. but UEA controlled pla y until th e break.

Ha lf-tim e cam e a nd there was no s u rprise when Bedford 's coach vis ib ly laid in to th e team beca u se of their di s ma l first-ha lf e fforts , there was no d ou b t as to who the s tronger team was.

Th e c rowd s ta r ted to build a nd th ere was no s hortage of bee r on th e touchline. The a tmosphere was fill ed wi th certai n ty tha t UEA wo uld achieve a large sco re. Bedford . meanwhile . h a d oth er ideas. The s tarted to play well and forced UEA back towa rd s their 2 2 -yard line. The away team played m or e posit ive ru gby a nd a pplied th e pressure well , but the hos ts held firm a nd s howed dogged and de ter-

min ed d efen ce. With a ll their e fforts . Bedford co ul d not con vert it into poin ts and get bac k in th e gam e . UEA s oaked it up and went on th e co un ter a ttack. They sealed th e ga m e on 5 1 minu tes when a b rillian t run by Chris Godwin ope n ed up th e de fen e to scar the fin a l tty.

The sco re was now 24-0 b ut Bedford still fou gh t on , wa n ting to get themselves on the score sheet. UEA could ha ve scored anoth er try but were denied by some excel-

len t d efending by on e of the vis iting Backs.

With th e match co ming to a close, th e pace of the game s lowed and the attacking play dim inis hed. which produ ced sc ra ppy ru gby wi th m a ny mis takes. The fm aJ whis tle blew, putting Bedfo rd o u t o f the ir misery . and it left UEA celebra ting a n impressive 24-0 win .

Wi th only a few games left now. th ey are s till in with a s m a ll s hout of promotion . a nd with more diffi c ult

gam es arou nd the corner, UEA will be hoping their can ta ke thi s performan ce on into their future fixtures.

MEN'S RUGBY BUSA MIDLANS DIV 2 (B) P WDL GO Pts

Notts 2 ~-------

L'b oro 2

UEA

DMU(B)

7 6 0 1

78 18

... -------------------54 0 l 152 12 5203 4 6

5 1 0 4 -67

3

Coventry 4 1 0 3 -82 3 Nbampton 4 .1 0 3 -85 3

• Concrete Prize Crossword #60 ACROSS 1.

Shuttlecock gam e

(10)

6 . Not loud (6) 8. Martial Art (6) 10. Col our- Decorate (5) 11 . Canartes are Norwich's team (8) 12. Forearm bone (4) 14. Track activity (9) 17. Indian dress (4) 18. Not short (4) 20. Clip - p in (3) 22 .Computer service (2) 23 . Popu l ar in vegetarian cooking (4) 24. Payment - charge (3) 26 . Bouncing activity (12)

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Set by Abi

DOWN

l. Hoop game (l 0) 2. Hinged barrier (4) 3 . Fastens (4) 4 . Hoop game (7) 5. It's the theme this w eek (6) 6. The _ , rock band (7) 7 . That is (l.l.)

9 . Force to (6) 10. Add - positive (4) 13. Tidy - pure (4) 15. Is often 16 with dogs (6) 16. Equ ine activity (6) 17. _ Cowell (5) 19 . Leave (2) 20 . Fill with liquid or gas (4)

21 . Young woman (4) 25 . "_ tu Brute" (2)

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