Derby Day Special - 17/03/2015

Special issue 18.03.15

UEA’s hat-trick heroes

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Kat Lucas Sport editor

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hey say bad things come in threes, and that was certainly true for the University of Essex, as UEA marched to a third successive Derby Day victory.

The final scoreboard read: UEA 42.519.5 Essex, a testament to the amount of work put in by the different sports clubs, and more than that, the entire university.

Spending my day reporting everything from fencing to football, I was lucky enough to experience the atmosphere first hand. In three years, it’s safe to say I’ve never seen UEA quite like it.

Derby Day 2015 Colney Lane may have been the scene of biting winds and overcast skies, but even the greyest of days could not have kept UEA’s army of fans from cheering on the various teams.

To the observer, UEA’s score might look flattering, but in reality, it was thoroughly deserved.

Essex Blades may have shown some tremendous fighting spirit – particularly considering what is becoming an appalling Derby Day record! However, at times the visitors were outclassed in so many arenas.

I managed to catch the last ten minutes of Women’s Rugby – and saw three tries.

UEA Cricket triumphed by a resounding 20 runs, and Men’s Futsal sealed the points in the most dramatic of fashions as they scored with the last kick of the game to make it 4-3.

The Derby Day trophy has been daubed in blue and yellow once again, but the red of Essex Blades did make its impact around campus. Last year’s Derby Day was away, and whilst there was interest, it was nowhere near comparable to the scenes in the square upon the announcement that UEA had been victorious again.

Essex made themselves known, doing their best to ramp up the atmosphere in the

Sportspark. However, they were drowned out more often than not by a buoyant home crowd.

Last year it was Eddy From Pool – this time round it was more of a collective effort. There were, of course, stand out results, but the cheers were for UEA as a whole.

While celebrating in the square, someone posed the question: “Why are UEA just so good?” The success of our sports teams every year should be dependent on who applies to the university, who takes up new sports, and who actually turns up twice a week to train.

It occurred to me then that we have a phenomenal amount of resources dedicated to sport. The Sportspark is stateof-the-art, and even the fact that these societies and clubs exist is something that shouldn’t be taken for granted.

Speaking of which, spare a thought for Essex. Graduating this year, I have never experienced what it must be like to lose on Derby Day. I can imagine it must be a heart-wrenching, devastating feeling.

That feeling must be doubled knowing the inevitability of defeat, year after year, Derby Day after Derby Day. UEA really is wonderful.

UEA Media Collective do Derby Day Geri Scott Editor-in-Chief

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erby Day is one of the biggest events of the UEA calendar, possibly only taking second place next to Pimp My Barrow.

So it’s no surprise that Concrete, Livewire 1350 and UEA:TV wanted to set ourselves the greatest challenge we’ve had yet and provide the best coverage that Derby Day has ever seen.

We started off with a simple, but ambitious, plan of making sure that UEA and Essex students could get Derby Day updates where ever they were. This meant a live audio and visual stream for those in the bar, or off campus. But if you weren’t able to listen or watch, there was also a liveblog and Twitter feed.

When the day came, we trudged onto

campus early in the morning to get set up, based in the Hive right in the action. This was a truly cross-collaborative effort from all three media societies, as we shared scores, tip offs and reaction from all over the event.

From a Concrete point of view, the liveblog allowed us to push our website to the limits, leading to the beating of the previous record of most page views in one day. As an aside, we also set the previous record this year, almost tripling the record from the year before.

For this, we had the fantastic volunteers who gave up their own time to head down to various events throughout the day. They reported back scores, atmosphere, interviews and updates, all whilst remaining positive and enthusiastic. All our volunteers on the day were brilliant, but special thanks go to: Helena Bradbury, Tom Gordon, Sam McKinty, Raina Victor, Jessica Frank-Keyes, Rob Staniforth, Rudi Westcott, Neven Devies, Dan Falvey,

James Newbold, Kat Lucas, Andy Charlwood, Joe Jameson and Imogen Wright. Your contributions were professional, timely and all round incredible, and we could not have done it without you.

You may have seen UEA:TV members out and about at events too, they were busy grabbing highlights and interviews for their live round up, which will have gone out by the time this special issue goes out, but will no doubt be available on YouTube.

Livewire also deserve giant congratulations, not just to Glenn Wheeler who will invariably get a kick out of seeing his name in print - but to everyone who helped out with production or called in from pitches to report back.

All in all, the day was a giant success not only for UEA as a victory, but also for UEA media – you’ve all done us so proud, now bring on next year!

The Concrete Chant Chart

Always catchy, often offensive, chanting is the part of Derby Day we forget until it rolls around and fills the Hive as it did on Saturday.

We’ve listed some we heard around campus yesterday, and we warn you now: they’re not very PC. But they are hilarious.

“Que sera sera, whatever will be will be, you’re getting a shit degree, que sera sera...”

“Shoes off if you love the pool“ – from UEAFC “1+1, 2+2, these are sums you cannot do! With a knick knack paddy whack give a dog a bone... all you Essex fuck off home” “Pride of East Anglia! Pride of East Anglia! You know it’s true... yellooooowwww and blue.”

“Your Dad works for my Dad, your Dad works for my Dad, na na na na...”

“You’re shit and you know you are...” – to the tune of Go West “It’s all gone quiet over there...” – to the tune of She’ll be Coming Round the Mountain “Oh Colchester! Is full of shit!

Oh Colchester is full of shit...”

“Oh UEA! Is wonderful! Oh UEA is wonderful... It’s full of tits, fanny and football, oh UEA is wonderful!”

“Oh UEA! Is wonderful! Oh UEA is wonderful... It’s full of willy, wankers and netball, oh UEA is wonderful!”

“Why was he born so Essex?

Why was he born at all? He’s no fucking use to anyone, he’s no fucking use at all!”

“I’m Aye-Aye ‘til I die, I’m Aye-Aye ‘til I die. I know I am, I’m sure I am, I’m Aye-Aye ‘til I die” – from Ultimate Frisbee “What do you think of Essex?

Shit! What do you think of shit? Essex! Thank you! That’s alright! We hate Essex, we hate Essex!”

“Give me a C! Give me a D! Give me an E! What do you get? Into Essex!”

Front page photo: Marcus Skov // Photo above: Geri Scott

Derby Day 2015

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Essex women launch second-half futsal comeback Kat Lucas Sport editor The Sportspark stands were packed as UEA Women took to the hall for the first Futsal match of the day.

However, a rowdy home crowd was silenced as Essex scored an unstoppable goal. The shot from distance had such power that there was little UEA’s keeper could do to stop the visitors from taking the lead.

Jess Keeling then equalised ten minutes later with a volley that took a deflection on the way in, after an assist from the left hand side.

As UEA found momentum, Essex then conceded an own goal after UEA put them under pressure from a corner.

But all their good work was undone after half time as UEA began to visibly tire – indeed, Keeling had already put in a shift for Women’s Football, whose earlier game had finished 1-1.

UEA changed goalkeeper, but could not stem the tide and conceded four goals in quick succession.

The Yellows found it difficult to make chances in the second half and were unfortunately unable to claim the point.

Photo: James Newbold

Photo: Marcus Skov

Men’s Futsal triumph at the death Mark Elms Sport writer With the margin of victory over Essex increasing in every telling of the Derby Day demolition, there was at least one match that went right down to the wire.

The Men’s Futsal match was always going to be a tightly-contested affair considering both UEA and Essex had progressed into the quarter-finals of the national Bucs competition earlier this season.

With the Haydn Morris hall ringing to the tune of “Oh UEA”, the match began and UEA started strongly as they controlled possession and hustled Essex into mistakes to give the ball straight back to the U’s.

Despite creating many chances in the early stages of the match, with Chris Swann disturbing the Essex woodwork twice, the first goal came relatively late in the half.

After another UEA attack which resulted in an Essex scramble on the edge of the area, the ball was rolled out to Ewan Hall, whose deflected shot looped over the stranded Essex keeper into the net.

This sparked the game into life, and with the decibel levels of the hall ever increasing, the second UEA goal soon followed. Joel Potter, fresh from playing for the victorious

first football team, stole the ball off an Essex player and dispatched it into the bottom corner with a powerful driving shot, to make the score 2-0 to the home side.

The match became far more physical and rowdy, with the Essex keeper fast becoming the villain of the match for the supporters after being involved in a ‘fracas’ with the UEA bench.

Essex strived to get themselves back into the game and they were successful soon after with a well-worked set up before a shot that wriggled its way through two UEA defenders desperately trying to clear off the line. This goal perhaps took UEA by surprise, due to their domination of the first period, and led to a lull in proceedings which favoured Essex.

This proved costly when Essex equalised just before half-time with a deflected shot that whistled past helpless UEA goalkeeper, Amit Puntambekar.

With the half-time score at 2-2, the second half was a much tighter, cagier affair, but both teams looked dangerous on the attack, with Swann again unfortunate to hit the post with a magnificent chip . Puntambekar then pulled off a string of fine saves to keep the scores level.

The scores weren’t level for long, however, as UEA retook the lead with an accurately placed finish from Sean Rayland after a fine

save from the Essex keeper had deflected into his path. With the game nearing its end and both teams striving to find a match-deciding goal, the Haydn Morris hall was silenced by a last gasp Essex equaliser with thirtyfive seconds remaining that sent our ‘noisy neighbours’ into a pitch-side frenzy.

UEA had thirty seconds left to wipe the smiles off Essex’s faces and after a UEA attack broke down with 15 seconds left, it looked as if the contest was decided. However, the Essex keeper decided he was going to be a UEA legend, and went for an inexplicable wander down the court with the ball. Inevitably, the

Photo: Marcus Skov

ball was won back by UEA whose first shot was blocked, before the ball fell onto the boot of Brandon Maysey, who lobbed the ball, as if in slow-motion, over the keeper and past the Essex defender rushing back onto the line. It sparked wild celebrations in the balconies and a court invasion with ten seconds left on the timer. The timer ran out after the celebrations and UEA had won a fantastically dramatic match of futsal 4-3, leading to even louder UEA chants and songs in the balconies and galleries of the Sportspark. The result further ensured that Essex will always play second fiddle to the wonderful UEA.

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Derby Day 2015

Photo: Billie May Jones

A jubilant men’s football team hoist the Derby Day trophy as the Media Collective announce that UEA has gained enough points for overall victory Photo: Peter Sheehan

Men’s football claim crucial victory Tom Gordon Sports writer As I ambled on down from the Terraces to the sporting vista of the Colney fields on what began as a sunny Saturday afternoon, I saw a bad omen. UEA men’s 2nd had, in a spirited, nip-tuck battle, been bested 1-0 by their Essex counterparts. The Essex booster-club were out in full-force, adding their dulcet tones to the boisterous throng of Derby Day. At the UEA end, however, support was far more muted. The day began to turn grey, and as the temperature dropped it felt like an aura of tension had been whipped in with the frigid air. But there was one team who were willing to throw caution to the wind, and it certainly didn’t look like that wind was affecting them half as much as it did my frostbitten fingers.

Although the Essex boys came out onto the pitch to muted chants of “heroooes”, it was the UEA lads who looked brighter upon taking the field. Smiles beaming, legs pumping and chests beating: even in warm-up they looked like they owned the pitch. They were putting a stamp on the game before it’d even begun, and although the overcast sky and biting cold persisted, the UEA supporters were most definitely lifted. The captains took to the circle – UEA to the right, Essex to the left – the referee raised his hand, blew his whistle, and

we had a game on our hands.

It was an immediately bright start to the game by the Yellows, with an almost instant sortie into Essex’s final third, by way of the right wing. This approach down the flanks set the tone for much of UEA’s attack. The game then began to settle into a rather tit-for-tat affair, with both teams confining one another to the middle of the park. The game’s first real chance ten minutes in, courtesy of Essex, came to nothing, and it seemed like both keepers were more at risk of trench foot than conceding a goal. UEA’s number 14 had been the star of the show thus far, with some very bright runs penetrating down the left, into Essex’s box. After he headed UEA’s best chance thus far straight at the keeper, Essex were very much under the kosh. Yet just as UEA seemed to get the game under their sway, out of almost nowhere Essex had sallied forth into the box, and pinged one onto the post. Mercifully for the boys in yellow and blue, the rebound was skied heavenward.

UEA were starting to look shaky in midfield, and the shivering pessimist in you felt an Essex goal was on the cards. Half an hour in, UEA played a looping ball in from the right, falling out of the sky with the inevitability of a doodlebug onto the left hand side of Essex’s box. The shot, one of UEA’s first, was blocked by the spread Essex defence.

The ball then dribbled slowly across the box,

and you could almost hear it crying out to be booted back into the relative safety of UEA’s half. But the Yellow’s number 16 wasn’t in a compassionate mood. He seized upon the ball, and smacked it into the bottom left corner. The keeper was left dangling in pursuit of the ball, with nothing but dead air to fill the gaping space between his fingers. The first inevitable chants of “who are ya!?” swiftly began to echo around the pitch.

It all seemed to be going rather rosily for UEA’s finest, but after an Essex cross wasn’t properly dealt with, UEA’s keeper was forced to bear down on the Essex forward and made a rather clumsy challenge. No card was brandished, but the Essex number 10 confidently converted the penalty 40 minutes into the match. Only a few minutes later the Essex penalty scorer was offered a golden opportunity after he was put through on goal, but he hesitated a split second too long, allowing the UEA defence to block. Going into half time at 1-1, it was anyone’s game.

Or so I thought. UEA’s halftime team talk couldn’t have been that far removed from the Sermon on the Mount, as the band of brothers came back onto the pitch with what seemed an almost divine tenacity. Not three minutes in UEA put in an inch-perfect cross, which number 8 rose to meet with his head, and the ball landed gratefully in the bottom right corner of the net. You couldn’t have asked for

a more convincing start to the second half.

Unsurprisingly UEA proceeded to sit back a little more in their own half, and Essex gamely responded to going behind for the second time in the game. They headed a lovely floated free kick wide, and UEA’s keeper was forced to channel the spirit of goalkeeping legends past and present, making an excellent save from an Essex header at 55 minutes.

With half an hour to go, play had become far more central, and a lady behind me remarked presciently “it’s all about the headers this game”. Someone in sporting heaven must have been listening, because at 65 minutes UEA’s on form number 8 headed another corner emphatically into the right side of the net once again. UEA were on the ascendency, and began to completely outmuscle Essex in the midfield. It was the beginning of an excellent defensive display for the remainder of the second half, and Essex only mustered one clear chance on goal for the rest of the 90.

The ruthlessly marauding UEA defence shut down every attack before it had a real chance to develop, and were bossing the one-on-one battles.

As the final whistle blew the whole team sprinted to the centre circle, whooping, hollering and howling in a celebratory haze of various liquids. They eventually filed off the pitch, heads held rightfully high to a chorus of “Oh UEA is wonderful”, I’m inclined to agree.

Derby Day 2015

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Photo: Billie May Jones

Football: mens 2nds cut down by the Blades James Chesson Sport writer UEA Men’s 2nd team fell to a narrow 1-0 Derby Day defeat to Essex in a hard fought contest.

The game’s only goal came midway through the first half, when UEA gave the ball away in a dangerous area, allowing an opposition midfielder to play a forward through on goal, who composed himself to curl a left-foot shot into the top corner from just inside the box.

Both sides went into the Derby Day fixture on the back of difficult Bucs seasons, in which each side finished fifth out of six teams in their respective leagues. UEA had not kept a single clean sheet at home in the league this season, while Essex had failed to register any away clean sheets, so the fixture appeared to promise goals.

A tight start to the match soon quashed those hopes, as the two sides got stuck into

each other from the kick-off. The desire to overcome their rivals was clear in the attitude of every player on the pitch: this was not an occasion in which appearing disinterested could be at all acceptable.

For all the full-blooded tackles and fiercely fought aerial challenges, it took over ten minutes for the first shot to be unleashed, a powerful 20-yard drive from an Essex midfielder that was brilliantly tipped over the bar by the UEA keeper.

With the game crying out for more excitement, Essex managed to put the ball in the back of the net a few minutes later, when a cross into the penalty area put three away attackers behind UEA’s defence, but the celebrations were curtailed immediately as the goal was ruled out for offside (in truth, it was most likely also a foul on the goalkeeper).

The home goalkeeper did not enjoy much respite though, as minutes later the game’s highest quality moment brought about the first – and so it proved only – goal. In a match littered with individual errors it was

fitting that the sole goal stemmed from such a moment. That brilliant strike into the top corner, beyond the UEA keeper’s despairing reach brought about rapturous applause from the visiting fans, and momentary despair for the UEA supporters.

There was no time for UEA to feel sorry for themselves though, and they responded positively, finally managing two shots on target before the break. They were presented with a golden opportunity to equalise when a long ball into the box was flicked on, but from less than six yards out, the miss hit effort somehow went sailing over the bar.

Early in the second half it was Essex’s turn to miss a sitter, when a corner was cleared poorly providing an away forward with a free header four yards from the goal, which he duly sent over the crossbar.

With the home fans’ unrelenting cries of “Yellows!”, UEA rallied again and improved their build up play significantly with increasingly patient and accurate passing posing a greater attacking threat than had

been mustered in the first half. The chances remained few and far between, but UEA did come close when a winger skipped past two defenders before blasting an effort just over again.

The match was largely played in good spirit despite the intense rivalry, although the frustrations of the home side resulted in a cynical challenge on a flying Essex winger.

The defender responsible was perhaps slightly fortunate that the referee opted not to brandish a yellow card.

Ultimately, UEA failed to find a goal in spite of their tremendous effort, but there was time for a moment of real excitement at the very end, when the home keeper went forward for a late corner. In a desperate attempt to salvage a draw, the keeper even managed to get his head to the cross, and was unlucky to see it drift wide of the target.

On the balance of play Essex just about deserved their victory, though because of their inability to convert chances, the encounter could easily have gone either way.

Women’s football denied by late equaliser Kat Lucas reports on Essex’s claim to a share of the Derby Day victory spoils.

U

EA Women’s Football were left disappointed by a late Essex equaliser, but nonetheless put in an impressive Derby Day performance.

Essex had the first chance of the game, but Helen Gibb pulled off a difficult save to keep the scores level. The game was disrupted several times in the early stages after two Blades players went down injured. However, it was UEA who would suffer the most through injury, with three knocks in the opening 15 minutes.

That left the Yellows with a makeshift defence, several of whom were playing out of position, but were aided by Essex missing two sitters. Essex’s Number 9 first missed an open goal, before her strike partner blazed a header over.

With UEA still in the game, Abbi Knell was full of pace on the break and made several chances. Jess Keeling was also unlucky with a speculative shot that Essex’s keeper handled well. Keeling later came close again but was unable to get her name on the scoresheet.

Evidently, the pressure was mounting as UEA launched three successive corners. One

fell to captain Sammy Algar, who managed a near miss. Yet, a goal was clearly coming, and it would fall to UEA’s Helena Soteriou to open the scoring. Soteriou made it 1-0 from just inside the area, and nearly made it two moments later when she came close to breaking through Essex’s defence.

Essex’s equalizer came in the final five minutes after a cross from the left found the feet of Mikaela Klevoulou. The Blades went on to push for the winner, but UEA held on for the point.

Captain Sammy Algar lamented Essex’s late goal: “We’re a bit disappointed with the draw – we were winning going into the final five minutes.

“We created a lot of chances and we deserved our lead. It’s a shame we couldn’t hold on to the lead.

“It seemed like we were on course for the win. We’re particularly proud of the girls who came in after the injuries. Overall it was a great team performance”.

Coach Lee Hamilton added: “We played well but we didn’t have the luck right at the end”.

Photo: Natalie Casey

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Derby Day 2015

UEA get their revenge with athletics whitewash Sophie East Sport writer Last year, UEA Athletics lost at Essex due to participation points, despite winning every event. Looking to build on their narrow defeat, they fielded a 20-athlete strong team to participate in a range of events across the afternoon.

The sun shone (sometimes), spectators were in abundance and UEA started strongly with the 100-m sprints. Freshers Jake Berney, Alex Joseph and Iddy Mughal finished first, second and third respectively whilst in the women’s race Danielle Hamilton crossed the line ahead of Helen Chapman bagging top points for UEA. Continuing our winning streak, Andy Holliman, Rowan Braham, James Biondi, Chihaya Hirai and Jack Turner claimed the top five spots in the men’s 800 m. In similar fashion, the only UEA female representative, Sophie Morris ran an impressive 80 0m to cross the line first.

Back to the sprints, Jake Berney and James Biondi finished first and third in the 200 m and in a tightly contested finish, Elise Williams just pipped Helen Chapman to win the women’s race. Abielle Hallas and Danielle Hamilton claimed the remaining points for UEA finishing third and fourth respectively.

In the men’s 3,000 m, James Berehowskyj ran a confident PB of 8:58, followed closely

Photo: James Newbold by cross-country captain Jack Keywood.

Practicing his pacing for a 5,000-m race next week, Alfie Bentley crossed the line in third place ahead of the only Essex representative.

Kate Robinson won the women’s 3000 m and she was joined by Sophie Morris and Rachel Pearse who both ran excellent times.

UEA took first and second place in the men’s 400 m, with Myles Lynch and Griffin Shiel showing the positive effects of their hard training. For the women, Elise Williams and Helen Chapman finished ahead of the two Essex athletes earning top points.

In the field, Alex Joseph and Chris

Blandford leapt to top points in the men’s long jump whilst Elise Williams topped off her successful day by winning the women’s event.

Abielle Hallas jumped to 4.05 metres showing her training is paying off. In the triple jump, the only UEA representative, Chris Blandford, took first place with Elise Williams and Abielle Hallas finishing first and second for the women.

The only throw, Javelin, saw Blandford throw 58.10 s to win with Iddy Mughal earning points for UEA with a throw of 25.68 m. For the women, UEA took first and second place with Elise Williams and Rachel Pearse both throwing over 10 m.

The final action of the day saw UEA claim top points in the medley relay (800 m, 600 m, 400 m, 200 m) for both the men and women.

Athletes involved were Jack Keywood, James Biondi, Dennis Cross, Alfie Bentley, Rowan Braham, Chihaya Hirai, James Berehowskyj, Griffin Shiel, Sophie Morris, Kate Robinson, Elise Williams and Helen Chapman.

The excitement of the relays were topped off as Dennis Cross took a small stumble slightly ahead of the finish line, proving that jeans may not be the best attire for 200 m running!

It was a comprehensive win for UEA athletics with the final score reading UEA 334, Essex 138.

The club would like to congratulate all who competed and thank everyone who helped officiate and came to support us.

What the ruddy hell is Ultimate?

Photo: Andy Charlwood

Andy Charlwood Sport writer Ultimate Frisbee, contrary to popular belief, is actually regarded as a sport. There are Bucs tournaments, national bodies, and most importantly an event for Derby Day. But what the ruddy hell is “Ultimate”? Why has it got such an odd name? What the hell is a “disc”?

Students who wanted to play American football without all the physical contact created what we know today as Ultimate. A sport that is best described as a cross between American football and netball.

The sport was initially referred to as Ultimate Frisbee during creation in the late 1960s because… hippies. After a little row with Wham-O regarding the trademark on the word “Frisbee”, the name shortened to Ultimate. This is also why any Frisbees used in the game are instead called “discs”.

The basic idea is to pass the disc up the pitch, and catch it in an “end-zone”. Players

cannot run with the disc, but can pivot. The game is played indoors and outdoors. Outdoor games will consist of seven players, and have a pitch size similar to football. Indoor games will have five players, and a much smaller pitch size, being slightly longer than a netball pitch.

The game has three player types, “open” which means no restrictions on gender, so any amount of men or women can play against one another. “Mixed” will have an equal number of men and women on the pitch. Finally “Women’s” is female only.

The sport is typically played with no referees, although some televised games in America have moved to using empowered referees. This means players on the pitch must settle any disputes between themselves.

As you can imagine this can lead to some discrepancies on the pitch, this leads us to “the spirit of the game” (SOTG).

The SOTG is the idea that Ultimate must rely on good sportsmanship between players in all situations. This is so any rules can be discussed fairly and openly. Players are

encouraged to discuss any violations before continuing play. On the other hand some players can ignore the rules for an advantage.

One example, which happened recently, was a player getting kicked in the end zone to prevent a score. The foul was contested, and the game was restarted on the throw before the foul, resulting in no score for the team.

The game against Essex on Derby Day was the closest I’ve seen between the two teams.

Having not lost to Essex in ten years we didn’t want to start now. After two hours of play the game was scored at 10–10 and came down to sudden death.

Essex opted to play a zone defence, which worked well for them. This consists of players defending areas of the pitch rather than players. UEA stuck with marking players, attempting to run Essex into the ground.

The game was filled with highlights; to name a few UEA scored a “Callahan” against Essex, which in essence is the Ultimate form of an own goal. This happens when a defensive player intercepts an offensive player’s pass in the end zone that the defensive player is trying

to score in. In short Essex passed the disc to our player in their end zone, resulting in a point for us.

The wind was the biggest factor of the game, throwing weak discs in any direction.

The team that could score against the wind would take the lead and push for a win. UEA scored against the wind, but Essex responded quickly scoring against the wind. With only 15 minutes left UEA once again scored against the wind, victory seemed certain. Essex managed to power through and score against the wind once again to bring the game into sudden death.

The game over ran and was concluded by Derby Day captain Dan Basson pinching a high disc out the air in the end zone to win the game for UEA. After players and spectators being so tense, this resulted in bundling the captain to celebrate the win.

A sphincter clenching game, incredibly close and hard fought by both teams. If only Essex could have brought this level of play to all the games the final Derby Day score might not have been so embarrassing for them.

Derby Day 2015

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Netball crown Derby Day with a win Helena Bradbury on Derby Day’s late-evening feature match at the Sportspark erby Day saw UEA Netball 1st team take to the court like never before as the feature match of the day. With the bleachers rolled out in the Sportspark and a huge crowd turnout for both the UEA and Essex teams, the atmosphere was tense between the two sides on and off the court.

Essex took the first centre pass scoring a goal straight from the off, followed by another after turning over UEA’s centre pass.

For a moment it seemed that Essex could be a bigger challenge than anticipated, but UEA soon found their game, scoring two successive goals to bring the score back to 2-2 with massive cheers from the UEA crowds.

Within five minutes UEA had stormed ahead with a lead of 12-3 after some brilliant shooting from Captain Asha Williams and Goal Shooter Becky Killett. The second quarter began with UEA leading 13-5 and Essex displaying some aggression on court, as they got frustrated with UEA’s strong defence.

With Essex trying to force themselves into the D, UEA gained repeated penalty passes or shots from Essex contact. Essex seemed in disagreement with the umpires’ decisions despite causing contact multiple times. But UEA continued to play their own game, taking their lead up to 26-9. Despite Essex scoring from two of UEA’s centre passes, at half time UEA led 29-12.

With the second half underway, UEA made some changes to their team and continued to score the goals, getting tips on the ball all over the court, slowing Essex’s game down.

Five minutes in time was called as UEA Shooter, Hannah McNally, took a bad fall on an already injured knee. She was carried off to huge crowd support from the UEA camp and

D

Photo: James Newbold

Maddie Ewer came on as Shooter.

With amazing turnovers from UEA centre court players, Sally Grice and Samy Gibson, and consistently on target shooting from both Shooters holding their space in the D, UEA stormed ahead to end the third quarter 4116.Tension was high as the teams took to the court for the final quarter.

Pressure from the UEA and Essex chanting didn’t seen to faze UEA as they worked the ball around the circle perfectly, scoring a goal straight away from their centre pass. Essex

“The girls were great throughout and that made the win feel even better” appeared tired and their frustration showed as their attacking players began to deliberately shove UEA’s defence with several fights for possession of the ball. Time was called again by the umpire who had words with Essex Goal Shooter and UEA Goal Defence, apparently threatening to end the game if Essex do not play a clean game.

UEA’s defence, Nicola Ferguson and Rachel Dean, continued to dominate Essex’s attacking end, making it difficult for Essex to even get a chance to score. Tension between Ferguson and the Essex Goal Shooter appeared high and Essex supporters reflected their team’s aggression towards UEA with the noise between the two opposing crowds becoming deafening. The UEA players remained unfazed and consolidated their victory with the full time score 50-23 to UEA. Captain, Asha Williams, said of the game:

“We were so happy with both teams wins yesterday. There was such a great atmosphere all day and we were glad to contribute to UEA’s win. I was so proud of the girls, we played so well”.

Earlier in the day the UEA Netball 2nd team also won their game. UEA showed dominance from the start with a 9-4 lead after the first quarter thanks to fantastic shooting from Fiona Bull and Emma Wilcox. Essex were again rough in their play, with UEA players having to work the ball around the court to get past them to goal. With a fantastic crowd turnout, the pressure showed on both sides performances as UEA just managed to hold onto the lead of 16-10 at half time.

C

onsistently strong defence and interceptions from Goal Keeper, Jane Botcherby, ensured UEA kept the lead and centre court player, Gemma Goodswen, was always free to keep the ball moving down the court and support attacking players. After a strong third quarter for UEA, they increased their lead to 21-13, after only allowing Essex to score three goals in the whole 15 minutes.

The final quarter started well with a brilliant first centre from UEA going straight to goal. However tiredness started to show with play getting scrappy on both sides and distractions from the Essex supporters. Essex continued to close the gap, but UEA held onto their lead with some fantastic defence and shooting, giving them a full time win of 26-24.

Abbott-Lewis said after the match: “It was a tough fight in the end, but the girls were great throughout and I think that made the win over Essex feel even better. I’m so proud of my team”.

Basketball edge Essex after nervy finish Tim Hin-Tsui reports on UEA’s 66-64 triumph over spirited Essex

Photo: James Newbold

T

he 2015 Derby Day basketball game reminded me a lot of the 2014 NBA Final. The San Antonio Spurs versus the Miami Heat. It was a clash between a team of equally matched players that played for each other and a team that played around super stars. But unlike the Spurs in 2014 who lead from start to finish, the Derby Day game wasn’t as easy as the home fans had hoped.

Recovering from a bad start to the game, it took more than half way through the first quarter for the home team to finally take the lead for the first time in the game when the Score was 8-6 to UEA. Up until that point, the play from UEA was a mixture of solid defending and poor low post play that plagued the home side until the second half of the third quarter.

It wasn’t plain sailing after UEA took the lead as Essex brought on their star guard duo into the team for which UEA didn’t manage to find an answer for until the second half. A rejuvenated Essex team began to build their offence play through their point guard who was able to dance around the UEA defence, who also was very reasonable in terms of his field goal percentage.

If their rejuvenation was not enough, the away fans were in high spirits singing and cheering on for their team. Essex were able to reestablish their lead as the game enters half time with the score tied at 24-24.

UEA came out for the third quarter playing some very fluid offence but just couldn’t seem to score. In one offensive play, the UEA players had missed a field goal attempt, won the offensive rebound, had another shot at the basket, missed and caught

the rebound again, had one more shot and missed yet again.

Essex controlled most of the third quarter as the UEA offence broke down with no recognisable big man running the offence and grabbing rebounds. A lot of the UEA play concentrated on the perimeter, shooting three points but often UEA found themselves vulnerable to fast break counter attacks as there were no UEA players standing inside the paint grabbing rebounds.

But it was also under these circumstances that the game really started to heat up in the third quarter. It was an alley-oop here, a block there and soon enough as both teams found their shooting rhythm, it started raining three pointers.

UEA once again found their attacking flow in the fourth quarter as they played their big men in the fourth quarter. Finding easy buckets through the centres and the power forward and grabbing offensive rebounds as they manage to get to nine points ahead of Essex by the middle of the fourth quarter.

As the minute ran down, Essex was desperately trying to over come the nine point gap through fouls and time outs in order to push the game into over time but UEA managed to smoother the late Essex push and win the game with despite Essex sinking a late three point shot. The game ended 66-64 to UEA. After the game, UEA team captain Tom Burnett was ecstatic with the result of the game and said that even during Essex’s late push, the team was still in control, knowing that all they needed to do was keep the ball in control and run the clock down.

8

Derby D

Day 2015

Clockwise from above The women’s rugby game in full swing Marcus Skov Trampolining in the main hall of the Sports Park James Newbold Crowds watching the squash Will Cockram Women’s hockey James Newbold Cheer dance replete with pom poms Photo: Will Cockram Men’s tennis at the Sports Park Will Cockram Essex make a cheeky pass in ultimate frisbee Marcus Skov

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10

Derby Day 2015 UEA tap dancers put on good show in wild card selection Olivia Cousins Sport writer

Photo: James Newbold

Essex pole fitness impress despite UEA absence Peter Sheehan Deputy editor The dancers of Essex pole fitness, without a home team to compete against, put on an impressive show in front of a keen crowd in the LCR. It’s a shame that there isn’t any competition, but that doesn’t seem to be holding anyone back. Which is to say: bloody nora, that was a lot of writhing.

This isn’t pole dancing; there is nothing sexual about the performances. This is gymnastics on a pole. Successive performers dangle in the most incredible positions: sideways, up-ways, down-ways – any which way they fancy, really. Parts of the first few performances are quite grapply, but that seems entirely forgivable when held five feet up a pole by nothing other than the power of ones thighs. These are women who truly understand the power of friction.

The stage is set with two poles. The second may have originally been intended for UEA – is head-head pole dancing a thing? – but the Essex women move agilely between the two.

Moving from pole to pole is an important part of the routines, and the five-metre trip from one to the other is adorned with all manner

Poor turnout by Essex cyclisyts Ross Perkins Sport writer For the third consecutive year, UEA Cycling Club and UEA Triathlon wrapped the Derby Day bragging rights in blue and yellow, and helped ensure another stunning victory.

Having rode out to Horsford in the early afternoon, 24 cyclists, including only three male riders from the Essex Blades, took part in a ten-mile time trial. The aim of this discipline

of flexes and twirls. Between performances, two people come out to shimmy up and down the poles a couple of times with a cloth, presumably to make sure that everything’s ship-shape and Bristol-fashion.

Each routine is set to music, and there seems to be unspoken agreement that the track must be one of those powerful, anthemic numbers that encourages strutting and posing. We have, for instance, Elastic Heart, Halo and Love Me Like You Do from 50 Shades of Grey, the inclusion of the latter being perhaps the most suggestive that the afternoon’s proceedings get. While not fundamental to doing gymnastics on a pole, the music certainly adds to the atmosphere, and it undoubtedly provides something else to get the audience stoked up on Derby Day juice. And hey, it’s kinda fun.

The lady who has been granted custody of the microphone is awfully shouty. Between performances, her near-constant demands for applause become grating rather quickly, but she’s totally out-classed by two team members sat at a table behind the audience.

They shout all manner of crude slogans at their team mates by way of encouragement, and otherwise give marvellously good value all the way through.

You can really tell the difference between the intermediate and advanced performers.

The latter are more finessed and hold themselves in positions with more poise and control. The last performer, Catherine, comes over from the Sports Park having just competed in cheerleading. She does a routine to Uptown Funk, which makes a pleasing change from the by-now more predictable fare used previously. She’s undoubtedly the best. She has a real presence on the floor, and she handles the transitions between poses with real confidence. Legs stretch further and arms climb higher than in previous routines.

“Don’t believe me? Just watch” makes for a fitting accompaniment.

After the performances, Henrietta – one of the shouty girls at the back, says that it’s a shame the team could not compete properly.

“We just think it’s because they’re scared because we beat them last year”, she says.

She’s incredibly impressed with her team mates: “They do all their routines themselves.

There’s support from the committee and the other pole girls, but basically the individual who did the showcase did it by themselves and I’m so incredibly proud of them. Even though we couldn’t compete, we still want to show what we’ve got”.

of cycling is, simply, to ride ten miles as fast as possible. Whilst the likes of Sir Bradley Wiggins can accomplish this feat in times of sub-eighteen minutes, our better riders were aiming to beat the twenty-four minute mark.

Riding out in one-minute intervals, the cyclists powered north for five miles before turning back on themselves and racing back to Horsford. Given Essex’s lack of presence at the event, most riders were content to enjoy the ride and test themselves against their fellow club-members, especially the ladies, all of whom were from UEA. The competition was scored by combining the fastest times of the top three riders from each team with the fastest overall time being the winner.

Nonetheless, the event was not without tension. Most riders crossed the line without incident but the champagne was temporarily

put on ice when UEA’s Robert Paynter and title-hopeful Ben Beynon complained of mechanical issues and traffic hold-ups respectively upon their finish. However, that

“The victory is UEA’s third in three years” did nothing to strip the latter of overall victory, as Cycling President Beynon powered across the line in 23:25, placing him as the fastest male rider of the day. Essex Blades’ Alex Lubbock finished second with 23:38.

UEA Triathlon’s Tom Cook finished in 23:58 and club-mate Dave Chesterman followed up sixteen seconds after helping UEA to record a combined time of 1:11:37 – roughly eleven

Derby Day 2015 rolled around, and it was time for the mighty UEA Yellows to take on the Essex Blades, in every sport imaginable.

Things were about to go down in the Derby Day Dance Off. Time to get out the tap shoes, chic umbrellas, and begin tap-spring-hopstepping to Singing in the Rain (think Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly!).

The dance started strong, with the tappers incorporating their props in the beginning of the routine. As the team was comprised of beginners and advanced, different sections of the song were dedicated to each group. The hardest thing about the dance was trying to navigate the dance floor with the opening, closing and waving of brollies (without trying to take out someone’s eye!). Luckily, no one got hurt, and the dance was a success.

Emma Soulby, president of UEA Tap Dance, couldn’t have been prouder of the effort and enthusiasm we put into learning and performing our dance routine. We kept up the smiles, the energy, and the classiness.

Speaking to other members of tap, they were relieved that it was over, and that the props worked. With over 25 dancers, we all managed to fit onto the small LCR stage, tapping and stomping away!

The support from fellow UEA members helped to calm the nerves, so we managed to go out there and make UEA proud. Derby Day Dance Off not only included tap dance, but also hiphop, jazz, contemporary, ballet and ballroom. They were all astounding on both sides, with Essex bringing a contending dance squad for most of the categories.

Unfortunately, Essex didn’t have a competing tap squad, so UEA tap was placed into the wild card section against Essex’s commercial dance group. When the scores came out, UEA won five of their six dance categories, with only the wild card section going to Essex.

The level of dance, the exquisite choreography, and the smiles of all the dancers made it such a fun event to watch and to take part in. It was very much a team effort.

Despite Essex losing, they should be commended as more than half of their dancers took part in multiple dance categories. They were a worthy opponent, and it was hard for the judges to decide, but in the end UEA just clinched it. Considering the level of competition between the two universities, Derby Dance Off 2016 will be an event to look forward to and to watch. Until next time, Essex…

minutes quicker than their Essex rivals.

The lack of ladies from the Colchester campus meant that the women’s event was a matter of intra-university competition but trophies were still up for grabs. Triathlon President-elect Cindy Berry recorded an impressive time of 29:18 beating both Mary Yeadon and Anna Harwood who finished in 30:00 and 30:02 respectively.

The victory for UEA Cycling Club/Triathlon is their third in three years and continues a recent trend of dominance for UEA led by the likes of Ben Beynon who secured his second victory in consecutive years. With the likes of Ed Hocknull and George MacFarlane posting sub-twenty-seven minute times, and with another year to improve, there’s no reason why UEA can’t go to Essex in 2016 and continue their unbeaten run.

Derby Day 2015

11

Women’s Rugby demolish Essex 60-0

Kat Lucas reports from Colney as Women’s Rugby hit Derby Day’s highest score

Photo: Kat Lucas Women’s Rugby made up one of the highlights of Derby Day with a 60-0 thrashing of a disheartened Essex Blades outfit.

Though the scoreline may suggest otherwise, Essex looked reasonably comfortable in the opening exchanges, but as UEA warmed up, the game was quickly out of sight. Essex made their frustration known, and were warned several times by the match referee for several cynical tackles, including one dramatic neck-grab on the Yellows’

Suzanne Dearn.

UEA also suffered a couple of injuries, that threatened to turn the game against them.

Yasmin Pemberton had been instrumental in giving UEA the lead. After being involved in several of their opening tries, though, she suffered a suspected broken arm and was immediately escorted from the field of play to waiting medical staff. Understandably, Pemberton was disappointed to go off and miss the rest of the action, but UEA rallied and

ensured her absence would not give Essex the advantage. However, it fell to one of their stars to ensure that the match was plain sailing for the most part.

Maylynn Ng was one of UEA’s brightest players with a number of tries, but their overall collective performance made them one of the main talking points on campus. Two of Ng’s tries were particularly remarkable in that she received the ball at the half-way line.

Essex’s captain spoke of the need not to

be disheartened as the game got increasingly out of their sight. In reality, however, UEA’s advantages in terms of both pace, experience and strategy made their victory look somewhat inevitable.

UEA’ Ladies may have celebrated duly after another Derby Day victory, but they will soon have to retain their focus before their next fixture with just a five-day gap in between. They face Oxford Brookes in a cup final on Wednesday 18th March.

Men’s Rugby seal emphatic 53-12 win Rob Staniforth Sport writer The two UEA Men’s Rugby teams ran in a total of 11 tries against Essex, as the University completed a clean sweep of the rugby union fixtures at Derby Day 2015.

First off, the 2nd team took to the pitch at Colney Lane, where they suffered early pressure from Essex after they fumbled a kick-off. However, they soon recovered and managed to get the ball down towards the Essex line, where they formed a driving maul from a line out and pushed Marcus Newman, and the ball, over for the first try of the day. Possession and territory was flowing well between the two teams for the next ten minutes, before two tries and a penalty gave UEA a 22–0 lead going into half time. Essex had some good chances in the first half, but were unable to capitalise on any of them, a problem that would plague them in the second half.

A couple of missed penalties by UEA in the second half caused the Essex fans to start feeling optimistic, before James Pickett was able to return a clearance kick from Essex to score the fourth and final try of the game. UEA was reduced to 14 men for the final part of the match, with Morgan Phelps being sent to the Sin-bin for a cynical foul on the UEA goalline. However Essex were unable to create a try from the 5 m scrum a few phases later, and UEA cleared their lines.

A minor scuffle marred the end of the game, when tensions finally boiled over, causing the referee to call full time, with UEA winning 27–0.

Soon after, the 1st team game took to the field. The game was extremely even in the first half, much of the game being played in the midfield before Henry Reynolds crossed the line for the first try of the game after about 15 minutes. However, the try was almost instantly followed by a reply from Essex to level the score at 7-7. The game continued to be equally

matched until the stroke of half time, when UEA missed a kick to touch and Essex were able to attack the UEA try line, after a number of phases they broke through, only for the ball to be held up. However, the resulting scrum saw Essex push over for their second try of the game, giving them the momentum going into the second half.

However, this momentum soon turned to UEA with Rob Dennis running through the Essex backline after a break from Adam Bramhall. A successful kick gave UEA the lead back, and within minutes Dennis was able to cross the line again, this time having run down the touchline to score in the corner. The kick went wide, putting UEA seven points up.

Shortly after, Essex were back at the UEA try line. The UEA defence held strong for multiple phases, before Essex broke through, only for the ball to be held up. UEA piled the pressure back on at the resulting scrum, and were able to turn over possession. Play was back and forth for the next ten minutes, before

Matt Bob Joseph made a break from nowhere to score the fourth try of the match. UEA scored a further two tries within ten minutes to give them a strong lead going into the final 15 minutes of play.

With the atmosphere building, security staff were called over following a pitch invasion

by UEA supporters after the home side scored their sixth try. Meanwhile, tensions were also building on the pitch, and with minutes left in the game a huge fight broke out, clearing both the benches. Following the fight, both teams suffered losses, with UEA being reduced to 14 men, and Essex to 13 after the referee issued three red cards to some of the players involved in the fight.

Not to end on a sour note, however, UEA made the most of their man advantage and were able to score one final try in the game, with Matt Bob Joseph scoring one final try for UEA in the corner. Soon after, the whistle was blown for full time, with UEA winning the game 53 – 12.

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Derby Day 2015

Mixed results for UEA in men and women’s lacrosse Nick Brown & Clare Gilchrist Sport writer Following an impressive season under the helm of Mikey Whitcutt, with six wins on the board, UEA Eagles went into the Derby Day match with their heads held high. Although the field was sorely missing the presence of key defender Jack Enright, the team was feeling confident that another win could end the season with a bang.

The first half saw feats of amazing strength, with adrenaline running through the veins of many a player, especially in the case of Goalkeeper Luke Phillips, who forgot about his position and decided that playing in the midfield was his true calling. UEA conceded twice after a two sneaky underarm shot snaked their way into the net. Their momentum was short-lived as UEA soon scored through golden boy Juliusz Bokiej.

The remainder of the half was full of drama, on and off of the pitch. Various decisions were protested by both sides, and many a player was put into the ground by the likes of Tom Hamilton and Andrew Fraser.

Morale was shaken slightly as defender Nick Brown discovered that his dreams of having a career in football was shattered when he kicked the ball into his own goal, in what can only be described as an Emile Heskey-like performance.

For the remainder of the match, morale was lifted by goals scored from a cheeky bounce shot courtesy of Ryan O’Grady and by Eagles veteran Michael Bolton, as well as the 80 minute performance of uplifting, original and downright hilarious chants by superfan Chris Roberts complemented by Edd Nabbs and his air horn.

Although the final score of eight goals to three went in Essex’s favour, the sterling performance on and off of the field made the last game of many players’ UEA careers a memorable one and made it a great way to end what was a very impressive season for UEA Eagles Lacrosse Club.

With equally vast measures of relief and happiness, it can be reported that UEA Women’s Lacrosse celebrated their fifth consecutive Derby Day win against The Essex Blades.

A combination of the opposition’s unbeaten season and a number of antagonising tweets from Essex over the past few days, meant that Sunday dawned with rather more than the standard Derby Day pre-match nerves.

Despite initial fears for the strength of the opposition, UEA stormed into the lead during the first few minutes with a succession of three quick goals from captain, Olivia Peach, and vice-captain, Emi Collin. However, Essex rallied swiftly with several goals of their own and the ensuing game was just as close, tense and exciting as predicted.

The second and third quarters saw both sides penalised for illegal tackles and several timeouts called by UEA; a few words from Peach saw a rapid regrouping of the team.

However despite maintaining the lead, an unfortunate yellow card for Lily Murphy and a number of penalty shots on goal ensured that Essex were never far behind throughout the second half.

Charlotte Homan – steadfastly brilliant in goal – kept her nerve despite high pressure from Essex shooters but Man of the Match was Emi Collin who kept the ball moving swiftly up the pitch into Essex’s goal circle.

One last goal by Peach in the closing minutes of the game saw UEA a satisfying two goals ahead and the final score 8-6.

Photo: Ryan O’Grady

Cheerleading president proud of team’s efforts Kat Lucas Sports editor

Photo: UEA Lacrosse

UEA Cheerleading President Emma Mcmahon spoke of her pride after a mixed Derby Day. The home side knew they would be up against it from the off, when Essex announced they would be arriving with their competition squad. UEA, meanwhile, took part with their non-competition fun squad.

For UEA, making the squad had been fiercely competitive, and Derby Day promised to be an exciting affair regardless of the result.

UEA enjoyed mixed results for cheerleading, with dance suffering a defeat, but stunt winning.

In fact, Dance lost only on the decision of Essex’s judge.

Emma Mcmahon, President of Dance, told Concrete: “We are more than happy with the result and looking forward to competing our competition squad against them at nationals next week”.

“Stunt were absolutely insane and deserved their win. The whole day was very fun and positive and we had a great time”.

Both sides put in strong performances, but the judges ultimately decided in UEA’s favour.

Photo: James Newbold

Derby Day 2015

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Men’s hockey ease to Derby Day victory Arjun Koyappalli Sport writer The Men’s 1st Hockey team began the day knowing they had the tough task of playing two matches in a day. The first, a crucial Saturday league game to remain in pole position before the big one: Derby Day. Coming from two goals down to win 3-2 in the first fixture meant that morale was high in preparation for the game against Essex.

The capacity crowd provided an immense atmosphere, which meant that UEA started the game with high intensity, forcing Essex into early mistakes.

Fittingly it was Albert Forsey, who has captained the side through an unbeaten campaign, who capitalised on the pressure to put UEA 1-0 up. The goal settled any nerves and the team began playing some flowing

possession hockey. The incessant pressure led to a second goal with fantastic stick skills on show from Josh Glass. The battle heated up as Essex strived to find a way back into the game, however dominance in midfield, calmness in defence and pace upfront meant UEA nullified any threat.

The second half brought more of the same.

To their credit, Essex kept fighting, but the gulf in class was evident, no more epitomised by an incredible piece of play between Dylan Mitchard and Ben Mann. An aerial pass into the D by Mitchard was trapped expertly by Mann, who slotted it home to put UEA 3-0 ahead. Gabriel Inch compounded Essex’s misery late on with a beautiful drag flick that fizzed into the net.

A moment of madness led to an Essex red card, but all in all, the game was played in good spirits with the first 11 notching up another win for UEA.

Photo: James Newbold

Women’s hockey A win in crowd reactions

Photos: James Newbold

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I

deally, the plan is to walk in, win the entire thing and have my face permanently framed somewhere in the Red Bar. I’ll give interviews to anyone who will want one, and maybe I’ll write a little introspective piece for Concrete. ‘Ned from Pool: hero to all’, something like that. The Ned behind the cue.

Then I’ll go home after a long day of being revered on campus and say to Jennifer, “Did you see my thing in Concrete?” and she’ll hold my forearm in that we’re just friends way and smile and say “Nobody reads Concrete, Ned.” I want to win this so badly that I’m worried I’m starting to act maliciously towards every Essex athlete I come across. Just ten minutes ago I sent two girls to the Multifaith Centre after being asked where the changing rooms were. I know I shouldn’t have done that. After the game I’ll pop over and make sure they’re not accidentally being incredibly offensive, and if they are I’ll take the blame for it and just say it’s a Scientology thing.

I wonder if this is how Eddy From Pool felt, this time last year. It can’t be. There was no esteemed Eddy-From-Pool figure to follow in the footsteps of when Eddy From Pool was chalking his cue. He walked over to an expectant table, laid out as though dozing, the lazy clack of the break saying just do what you need to do. Whereas I’ll go out, shake some hands and participate in the shared silence draped over the fact that I appear to be his natural successor, and thus can’t afford to make any mistakes.

Earlier I had what can only be described as a very minor breakdown. I spent 20 minutes slicking my hair back with tap water so it looked like I had been sweating. Then I cupped the water in my hands and massaged the armpits of my t-shirt. Then I walked around the campus, pretending to talk to someone on my phone about pool in the hope that someone – anyone – would walk past and, joining the dots between pool and the quantity of sweat, re-evaluate their prejudices towards pool as a legitimate sport.

The campus is alive in a subdued way, like

Derby Day 2015

Ned from Pool: a hero to all Jake Reynolds uses his imagination to get inside the mind of any would-be successor to Eddy From Pool, hero of Derby Day 2014.

Photo: James Newbold it has just woken in it is pleased to be in quite remembering palpable excitement,

the arms of somebody the arms of despite not their name. There is suppressed by the fact

that nobody is getting their hopes up. You feel the smiles, but genuine well-wishes are traded furtively like rumours.

Pool is mathematics and it is physics. It is

beautiful in a way people don’t appreciate yet.

This year I want The Face of Pool to be me, but for every interview I’ll insist there be a pool table nearby, so I can play while answering the questions and point and say wait, look, look at that, the trajectory and balance of everything.

Jennifer woke up early to make me a breakfast where egg yolks and fried tomatoes were billiard balls and a rasher of bacon was a cue. I know that when I return, whatever the outcome, she’ll be proud of me. That’s important.

The toilets stink of stale beer, the kind that cakes your teeth in the cycles of a hangover. It occurs to me that the glory of being crowned Ned From Pool: Hero To All is only partly for the Derby Day glory. The rest comes from the image of me walking away from the game, cue held high, before running all the way home, rushing into the kitchen where Jennifer will be cooking beans on toast, and then saying everything that comes into my head, things like: Are you still blind to the fact I am disgustingly in love with you — Can I kiss you and hold the side of your face — I didn’t just win the game I won the day as well, I’m their hero — Everything is possible, let’s use up those extenuating circumstances forms we’ve been saving and do something spectacular— I slowly realise, as the clock arms unwind, that this is the case for everyone gathered here today. Everyone here is openly passionate about one thing, and secretly passionate about another. Everyone here wants to win, but they want to win for something more than a trophy or interview in a student paper people may or may not read. They want to win because, I don’t know, their mum will be proud of them.

Or so they can stop re-drafting that vicious Facebook message to an ex-friend and simply say I did it when you said I never could. Or, as with me, they’ll want to be seen, to be made transparent so that they can say the things they are otherwise too afraid to say.

Ladies steal the limelight for UEA tennis James Newbold Sport editor It was ladies day for the UEA Tennis Club as the Women’s team overcame Essex 8-4 to notch up another win for UEA. With both the Men’s 1st and 2nd teams succumbing to defeat, the pressure was on for the Women to uphold UEA honour and they duly delivered. Lea Denley crushed her opponent 6-1, 6-1 in the singles, while Gemma Gallant and Rosie Snow produced some fabulous tennis to take a 6-2, 6-0 victory in the doubles. With the other doubles fixture also resulting in a UEA win, Women’s captain Harriet Dalton held her nerve to close out her singles match and win the tie 8-4.

Sadly, the Men were unable to match the Women, despite some fabulous individual performances. In the 1st team, Joe Clark mounted a terrific comeback from a set down to beat Essex’s best player in a third set tiebreak 6-7, 6-1 10-3. Clark then teamed up with Alex Goodall to win their doubles match.

The 2nd team also put in a valiant effort, with Sam Tobiss coming from a set down to win his third set tiebreak 10-5, and Joe Harper dominating throughout his singles match to win 6-1, 6-2. However, ultimately the consistency of Essex proved too much for both Men’s teams, encapsulated by Tobiss and Stefan Bartlett’s heartbreaking defeat in their third set tie-break.

President Chris Odey was nevertheless pleased with “The great effort from by all the players against some tough opposition, showing the strength and depth of our squad”.

Photo: James Newbold

Derby Day 2015

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Physical education: Derby Day for the uninitiated Joe Jameson, who normally takes sport no further than watching the Formula One, tries to work out what the fuss with this Derby Day event is all about...

S

port isn’t really my thing. While this ‘confession’ will come as no surprise to those who know me well enough, it is rather crucial that I outline this as early as possible, so as to apologise to any of you whom I am likely to upset with my chronic lack of understanding. To say that I know nothing about sports is unfair; I am aware that they exist for example. I have also had the misfortune of experiencing some of them first hand through compulsory PE lessons.

I occasionally find the time to go road cycling, and I follow Formula One religiously,.

So while I am the first to accept that I have no real idea about most sporting events, I believe that I have at least a basic grasp of what sport involves.

For me and my fellow ‘sport-nogstics’, Derby Day can be a bit of a non-event, where campus seems to get overly busy and very excited about types of sport that most of us have never really heard of. It is perhaps not surprising, then, that when the UEA Media Office descended into a series of rather excited conversations about the Derby Day arrangements, I kept my head low and tried to avoid any direct acknowledgement of the event in the hope that it would simply go away.

It would seem that this plan backfired quite spectacularly, as I soon found myself

Photo: James Newbold

roped in to write this article because I don’t like sports. And I was being encouraged to hang around on Derby Day in order to capture the ‘feel’ of the day. I can tell you now that I was convinced I would not need to be there in order to ‘experience’ the ‘atmosphere’: I was sure that the oxygen-to-nitrogen ratio in the air would be the same as it was in my house.

However, my colleagues insisted, and that was that.

I understand that people enjoy sports for a number of reasons – from simply taking part, to watching, to understanding the tactics used, or to compete and win – and I think this is certainly something that comes through on Derby Day. When I made my way on to campus to find out where my fellow editors were planning to deploy me, the Square was a hive of activity, even though the weather wasn’t really conducive to doing much outside. This got me thinking: what is it about sports events that get people out of the house?

To say I was eager to find out where I was going is perhaps laying it on a bit thick, but, my interest had been piqued. I was not expecting, however, to then be informed that I would be reporting on the cheerleading.

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against cheerleading, but I simply hadn’t grasped the size and scope of Derby Day. I was slowly

beginning to realise that this was not simply an extravagant sports day, but a rather serious competition.

When I arrived at the Sportspark and made my way down to the gymnastics centre, I was further exposed to the sheer scale of the event.

All of the matches that I passed were being watched by a very sizeable crowd. Exactly the same was true at cheerleading. Even though I arrived a good 15 minutes before the event was scheduled to start, people were standing at least two deep along the balcony that runs the length of the gymnasium. With the large crowd, which only got bigger the closer it got

“To say I was eager to find out what was going on is perhaps laying it on a bit thick” to the start, came vocal support for both sides, really livening up the mood.

Derby Day is a showcase event as it allows the sports clubs to really show off what they’re capable of in a way which is very inclusive and accessible. It can also make people want to try out a new sport after seeing it for the first time.

Like myself, you might not have been aware that there even was a team for a particular sport, which might be enough to get you to join next year – not that I can say I’ll be joining cheerleading any time soon...

Something what was very apparent was the fact that the two teams were not simply

talking amongst themselves, but were happily chatting with each other. This increased over the hour as both teams cheered each other on. The camaraderie of Derby Day is very plain to see, even for a non-sporty person, as competitors really just want to play their sport, and have a good time, irrespective of the score. Athletes have the opportunity to show off their skills, whilst spectators have the opportunity to support their friends.

C

ollectively, however, Derby Day allows us to rally around UEA in a way that is simply unique. We are all members of different societies, clubs and faculties, but we have very few opportunities to band together and really shout about how great UEA is.

Derby Day is one event which allow us to do this, as it doesn’t matter what you study, or whether you’re a fresher or a third year.

All that matters is that you are there playing a match, cheering your side on, and having a good time. UEA:TV’s Derby Day preview lip dub is an example of just how brilliant it can be when we unite as a campus to celebrate UEA. While I’m still really not really convinced that sport is for me; the mechanics of running around a bit and getting rather flustered because you need to catch, kick, or hit a spherical object still seems a bit bizarre.

However, I do think that there really is something in enjoying sports. It allows us to experience so many emotions, that should victory ever come your way, you know it’s something special.

UEA 42

.5

UEA 14

American football

ESSEX 0

19 ESSEX .5

UEA 0

ESSEX 2

114

125

Horse riding, A team Horse riding, B team2

64

Archery, beginners Archery, advanced

1206

2035

2001

11

Korfball

4

334

Athletics(1)

138

3 8

Lacrosse, men Lacrosse, women

8 6

7 8

Badminton, men Badminton, women

1 0

50 26

Netball, first Netball, second

23 24

1

Ballet

0

2.5

Baseball (rounders)

16

14 15

Pool, A team Pool, B team

16 17

66 63

Basketball, men Basketball, women

64 27

2

Rowing3

1

0

Cheerdance

1

53 27 60

Rugby, men: first Rugby, men: second Rugby, women

12 0 0

1

Cheerleading stunt

0

1 1 1

Climbing, men Climbing, women, Climing, team

0 0 0

1389

71

0 5 4

Squash, men: first Squash, men: second Squash, women

5 0 1

12 7

Table tennis, men Table tennis, women

5 2

93 91

Cricket, first Cricket, second

101

1

Cycling

0

1

Dancesport

0

1

Dancesquad

0 84

111

Fencing, men Fencing, women

124

11

Ultimate frisbee

10

3 0 1

Football, men: first Football, men: second Football, women

1 1 1

0 0

Volleyball, men Volleyball, women

3 3

4 2

Futsal, men Futsal, women

3 5

5.5

Golf

1.5

15 15

Handball, men Handball, women

17 20

4 7

Hockey, men Hockey, women

0 0

0

Tap

1

4 4 8

Tennis, men: first Tennis, men: second Tennis, women

8 8 4

45.26 135

26

Trampolining

Water polo

44.64

2

NOTES (1) A joint score was submitted by the men’s and women’s teams: the event is worth two points.

(2) The winner is the team with the lowest score.

(3) UEA got two points to add to the total score, and Essex got one.