The Event - Issue 183

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Issue: 132

Art Fashion Film Internet Music Television

The Event Celebrates The Kings of Rock Inside... Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Little Britain Eyes

Contents Features TV Â 9

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Film  19  &  20 %PDVNFOUBSJFT "SF UIFZ UIF OFYU CJH UIJOH ,JTT ,JTT #BOH #BOH BQQSFDJBUFE BOE EJTTFDUFE

Music  15 .PU¤SIFBE 8F HFU UP HSJQT XJUI UIF UJNFMFTT SPDL TFOTBUJPO

Art  6

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Fashion  4  &  5

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Reviews

TV Â 8

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Regulars

Creative  Writing  10 Listings  14 Horoscopes  11

Well  there’s  not  so  much  space  for  me  to  chat  to  you  lovely  readers  this  issue  as  we’re  just  being  too  generous  for  our  own  good  and  giving  away  loads  of  top  loot.  It  was  a  sacri-­ ďŹ ce,  but  one  we  were  all  willing  to  make.  But  enough  of  la-­ menting  the  things  we’ve  not  got  quite  enough  of,  because  this  issues  is  a  stonking  24  (count  ‘em)  pages  long!  That’s  right,  there’s  four  more  pages  for  you  guys  now,  guaranteed, Â

New  Little  Britain   12  &  13

Film  18,  21  &  22

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Centre  Spread

Music  14,  16  &  17

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Internet  23 5IF GBOUBTUJD 5PLZP 1MBTUJD

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every  fortnight  from  this  point  on.  This  means  that  things  are  all  shufed  around,  but  take  advantage  of  this  and  rather  than  skipping  to  your  favourite  pages  straight  away,  peruse  with  wonder  a  few  of  the  less  familiar  sections.  Embrace  change!

Editor-in-chief               4BSBI &EXBSEFT

Kate  Â

Art  Editor                                     3PBOOB #POE

Competitions Rufus  Wainwright  tickets  up  for  grabs!

As  you  already  know,  Rufus  Wainwright  will  be  playing  at  the  LCR  on  Thursday  8th  December.  But  I’ll  bet  you  didn’t  know  you  could  win  tickets! Â

Deputy  Editor "OOB 4UFXBSE Contributors:  Ben  Baruch,  Sam  Sheppard,  Catherine  Barter

Fashion  Editors  -BVSB $PCC ,BUISZO 8FTU Contributors:  Carina  Rizvi

Film  Editor  4FCBTUJBO .BOMFZ Contributors:  Henrietta  Burgess,  Becky  Rutt,  Claire  Carter,  Chris  Hyde,  Eddie  Howarth,  Sean  O’Shea,  Richard  Boakes,  James  Berrill,  Natasha  Kundaiker

Music  Editor  $IBSMFT 3VNTFZ Contributors:  Chris  Hyde,  Constaz  Mage,  Mia  Butreeks,  Kelvin  Knight,  Greg  Sullivan  Alex  Caldwell,  Will  Holloway,  Andrew  Riley,  Elley  Taylor,  Emma  Johnston,  Kate  Bryant

To  win  a  pair  of  tickets,  answer  this  question: 8IBU T UIF OBNF PG 3VGVT GBNPVT TJTUFS Send  your  answers  to  concrete.event@uea.ac.uk

TV  Editor  $ISJT )ZEF

Free  tickets  toJarhead!

Contributors:  Becky  Rutt,  Rebecca  Hunt,  Ben  Sparshot

Creative  Writing  Editor      .FSJOOF 8IJUUPO

To  win  a  pair  of  tickets  to  see  a  preview  of  Jarhead,  just  an-­ swer  this  simple  question: 8IP EJSFDUFE +BSIFBE

Contributors:  John  Tosch,  Barney  Tidman,  Andrew  Garthwaite,  Jenny  Andres,  Benjamin  Woods,  Rebecca  Bowe,  Alexandre  Naughton,  Bex  Harris,  Holly  Curtis,  Luke  Owen

Send  your  answers  to  concrete.event@uea.ac.uk

Get  a  copy  of  The  Krays  on  DVD! If  you  think  you’re  ‘ard  enough  to  own  a  copy  of  The  Krays  on  DVD  then  you’ve  got  a  lot  of  bottle!  But  if  you  really  think   you’ve  got  what  it  takes  then  drop  us  an  email  in  your  best Â

Editor  &  Designer ,BUF #SZBOU

cockney  patter  to  concrete. event@uea.ac.uk  and  tell  us  how  much  you  want  it!

Listings  Editor                 'JPOB #JMMJOHT Internet  Editor                 ,BUF #SZBOU

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Fashion

Eye  is  back #PIP DIJD IBT CFFO QVU UP CFE BOE UIF MBJECBDL CBSFGBDFE CFBVUZ UIBU XFOU XJUI JU 5IF TVO IBT TFU PO B TJNQMF TMJDL PG MJQHMPTT BOE B DBSFGVM TNVEHF PG CMVTI -BVSB $PCC XFM DPNFT B GBCVMPVT QIBTF GPS GBTIJPO GBDFT UIJT XJOUFSy

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ow  the  hot  summer  sun  has  gone  into  hibernation,  so  have  the  days  when  nights  out  meant    ip    ops,    oaty  dresses,  and  never  questioning  wheth-­ er  tonight  would  be  a  coat  night.  Fashion  lov-­ ers  know  unless  you  want  frost  bite  (can’t  see  that  catching  on),  displays  of    esh  will  be  put  to  bed  until  at  least  March.  Pale  (and  dare  I  say  hairy?)  limbs  will  be  kept  under  wraps  in  layers  of  wool,  thick  scarves  and  snug  boots  resting  above  the  knee.  But  if  the  wind  and  the  chills  mean  your  beautiful  bare  limbs  can  no  longer  get  you  noticed  what  can?  Fear  not  attention  seakers,  sub  zero  seasons  call  for  a  reinvention  of  the  face.  Make  the  most  of  eve-­ nings  indoors  by  giving  your  make  up  trunk  an  overall.  Bin  brushes  that  have  seen  better  days,  and  send  transvestite  tints  to  the  trash.  Spend  time Â ďŹ Â nding  tones  that  perfectly  suit  you.  Identify  your  hair  shade,  complexion,  and  character,  and  co-­ordinate  colours  with  care.  Dress  your  face  with  the  precision  you  normal-­ ly  reserve  for  your  body.  Start  by  choosing  a  new  foundation  which  suits  a  paler  face,  many  department  stores  offer  a  free  colour  match-­ ing  service,  meaning  tide  marks  or  ghost  like  complexions  are  thankfully  sidestepped.  Al-­ though  the  products  they  sell  are  more  pricey  than Â

those  sold  at  chemists,  the  quality  is  highly  superior;Íž  a  bottle  of  decent  foundation  can  last  up  to  a  year,  and  the  coverage  should  take  you  from  day  to  night.   And  come  on  girls  –  you  wear  your  face  every  day!  A  care-­ fully  applied    ush  of  bronze  can  also  perk  up  a  drained  complexion.  Choose  a  shade  which  has  tiny  particles  of  gold  in  its  depth.  The  sparkle  will  catch  the  light  and  instantly  make  you  look  healthier  with  an  enviable  glow.  To Â ďŹ Â nd  the  exact  place  on  which  to  ap-­ ply  it  to,  suck  in  your  cheeks  and  add  glitz  to  the  hardest  part  of  the  bone,  directly  be-­ low  the  eye.   The  most  important  part  of  the Â ďŹ Â nished  face  will  reside  in  your  peepers.  So  let  your  stare  afďŹ Â rm  your  sex  appeal.  Open  up  the  window  to  your  soul,  and  exaggerate  your  eyes  with  excessive  make  up  in  every  colour  residing  in  the  rainbow  –  as  long  as  it’s  bold.  Start  by  curling  the  lashes  with  a  pair  of  heavy  duty  eye  lash  curlers.  To  gain  a    irty  curl,  blast  the  wand  with  your  hairdryer  for  a  couple  of  seconds,  squeezing  just  above  the  lid.  Then  slick  with  masses  of  mascara,  alternating  be-­ tween  two  brands  will  unsure  a  thick  set.  Don’t  worry  about  clumps  as  they  only  add  to  the  bad  girl  style.  But  if  you  can’t  bring  yourself  to  do  blobs,  allow  each  coat  to  dry Â

before  adding  another.  Once  the  mascara  has  dried,  you  could  start  by  lining  the  lower  lids  with  liquid  colour,  layering  like  mad  with  thick  midnight  black.  Resting  your  elbows  on  a  table  whilst  you  draw,  should  unsure  your  hand  provides  a  steady  line.  For  a  doll-­like  style  add  small  dots  of  black  powder  to  the  tip  of  the  lashes.  This  gives  a  wide  eyed  in-­ nocence  perfectly  complimented  with  pale,  muted  lips.  Or  for  feline-­  irty  eyes,  paint  a  thick  line  across  the  upper  lid,    icking  up  just  next  to  the  outer  corner  of  the  eye.  Or  you  could  start  off  light, Â ďŹ Â lling  the  lid  with  baby  blues  or  ice  whites,  and  the  gradually  graduating  through  the  colour  spectrum,  until  the  skin  above  the  crease  of  the  eye  is  a  velvety  navy.  Finish  by  highlighting  the  brow  bone  with  a  frosty  glitter.  Fake  eye-­ lashes  are  also  a  sure  way  to  stun  this  party Â

season.  Falsies  are  making  a  comeback  and  have  been    uttered  on  many  a  famous  face  of  late,  from  Girls  Aloud,  to  the  Simpson  siblings,  Jessica  and  Ashley.  The  lashes  look  luscious  alone  with  a  dab  of  subdued  colour  on  the  lids.  But  for  a  really  wicked  look  add  plenty  more  mascara,  ensuring  your  eyes  enter  the  room  moments  before  you  do.  To  increase  vampish  attraction  further,  slide  a Â ďŹ Â nger  lightly  coated  in  Vaseline  across  the  closed  eye.  Not  only  will  this  add  a  dewy  gloss  but  give  your  look,  an  “up  all  nightâ€?  al-­ lure.  Be  careful  how  you  complete  the  look.  Bold  lips  and  weather  worn  cheeks  are  too  much.  Keep  the  mouth  neutral  in  creamy  shades  of  beige  and  compliment  the  cheeks  with  a  subtle  a  dusting  of  sparkly  powder.  For  a  lasting  effect,  add  a  coy  smile  and  bat-­ ter  those  lashes.

Bad gal black Fashion  Editor’s  Tips

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Achieving  to  die  for  eyes  is  a  hard  art,  it  takes  practice,  patience,  and  a  lot  of  cotton  buds.  It’s  all  too  easy  to  send  a  beautifully  crafted  eye  into  disarray  with  an  unwanted  twitch  of  the  wrist.  Even  worse,  unforeseen  circum-­ stances  such  as  uncontrollable  sneezing  or  stabbing  yourself  in  the  eye  with  a  mascara  wand  can  mean  washing  it  all  off  and  starting  again.  However,  most  mistakes  can  be  seam-­ lessly  corrected  with  a  cotton  bud  dipped  in  cleanser.  You  can  also  avoid  achieving  an  ar-­ ray  of  unattractive  splashes  of  powder  below  you  lid,  by  adding  a  line  of    esh  coloured  powder  to  the  skin  just  below  the  eye.  Once Â

the  look  is  complete,  simply  dust  off  the  resi-­ due  and  your  left  with  clean,    eck  free  skin.  Other  errors  which  can  ruin  your  look  are  the  unavoidables,  such  as  “mascara  goopâ€?.  This  unattractive  spoldge  of  black  in  the  corner  of  your  eye  can  instantly  ruin  the  appearance,  again  just  take  a  cotton  bud,  this  time  a  dry  one,  and  rescue  the  unsightly  thing  with  a  soft  scooping  action.  If  you  are  a  novice  in  the  art  of  good  make  up,  it’s  best  to  leave  the  rest  of  your  look  –  foundation,  bronze  and  lipgloss  to  the  end.  This  means  major  mess  ups  don’t  result  in  the  whole  look  be-­ ing  wasted. Â

Fashion

Who ever told you it was wrong to fake?

h c u o t n e d l o g e Girl with th

Brush Strokes Every great artist relies on a timeless set of tools. Like other make up, when it comes to brushes, it’s often worth paying a bit more.

The more pricey the device, the less likely it is that the bristles of the brush will escape down your face. A decent implement can last for years. Prolong its life span by gently squeezing excess powder from the hairs with a baby wipe. For the bottom lids, the brush you require is fl at and blunt, creating a neat straight line. This way you dictate the thick-­ ness of your look, not your tools. Upper lids call for a thick fl uffy tipped brush. This al-­

lows the eye shadow to be swept effortlessly across the eye, creating clean, constant col-­ our. Sponge applicators are also affective.

If the eye brush jungle is really too much for you to trek through -­ you can’t fail with a clean cotton bud. Pull gently at the fi bres at the end, this will create a thick expanse with which to work your colour on. When us-­ ing bold shades such as peacock green and ocean blue, the depth of the colour is key. To intensify the tint, dip your brush or sponge in water then apply.

Disco Diva Eye am a Celebrity

Mint dream

The hottest celebs know that the way to make a show is with a heavily made up eye.

Style idol, Nicole Richie highlights her deli-­ cate face with night time blacks lining the eye. She tends to keep her mascara subtle and always ends with light, creamy lips.

Multimillionaire sisters, Mary-­Kate and Ash-­ ley Olsen market their own make up. One of the hottest looks they sport is sexy smoky eyes. Their A-­list look can in fact be achieved with ease. The “sat round a bonfi re too long” eye style, can be accomplished by dipping a fi nger in a pot of brown shadow. Make sure the shadows packed with shine and sparkle

to avoid just looking ill. Spread your fi nger across the closed eye, dabbing gently along the lower lashes. Finish with coat after coat of mascara. This gives a lazy rock chick af-­ fect. If all this eye know how really confuses you, a simple way to achieve a new look is coloured mascara. This eighties favourite is making a comeback in every shade pos-­ sible. The most eye catching tubes come in a variety of hues. Victoria Beckham goes for greens and blues and Madonna favours ma-­ roon. Just apply to the naked lash, and fi nish with lots of smudgy eye liner on the lower lash in a matching shade.

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ast   week   as  children  from  three  primary  schools  prepared  for  their  performance  of  La  Cenerentola  at  the  Theatre  Royal,  The  Event  went  in  search  of  youth  drama  here  in  Norwich.  Rossini’s  La  Cenerentola  seems  hardly  the  place  to  start  when  introducing  eleven  year  olds  to  the  performing  arts  and  the  opera  is  hardly  the  most  accessible  of  art  forms,  and  yet  since  1997  the  Theatre  Royal  has  successfully  produced  two  classical  drama  or  opera-­based  shows  a  year  usually  to  packed  houses  in  the  main  auditorium.  No  mean  feat  to  be  sure,  and  this  autumn  they  seem  to  have  pulled  it  off  again  as  Sunday’s  performance  looked  set  to Â ďŹ ll  the  Theatre  Royal  once  more.  The  three  schools  involved  in  this  autumn;Íž  Holt  Primary,  Corpusty  Primary  and  Langham  Village  spent  the  week  leading  up  to  the  performance  in  weeklong  workshops  run  by  the  projects’  Creative  Director  Sophie  Grimmer,  and  wrote  their  songs  and  choreographed  their  own  movements  to  express  part  of  the  La  Cenerentola  storyline.  Rossini’s  version  of  Cinderella,  written  without  the  traditional  fairytale  element,  was Â ďŹ rst  performed  in  1817,  and  in  2005  the  children  had  the  opportunity  to  retell  that  same  story  in Â ďŹ fteen-­minute  versions.  They  have  also  all  had  to  learn  the  difďŹ cult  ‘Tutto  cangia  a  poco  a  poco  cessa  alďŹ n  di  sospirar’,  which  was  performed  in  Italian  by  all  the  schools  in  the  show’s Â ďŹ nale.  Within  the  scheme  also,  the  children  will  be  able  to  watch  the  Glyndebourne  on  Tour’s  production  of  Rossini’s  La  Cenerentola  when  it  comes  to  the  Theatre  Royal  in  November.  This  seems  a  perfect  way  for  the  Project  to  end  with  the  children  seeing  an  opera  and  perhaps  even  visiting  a  theatre  for  the Â ďŹ rst  time.  And  as  the  Norwich  Schools  Project  patron  opera  composer  Jonathon  Dove  has  said,  “Opera  changes  people’s  lives.  Doing  opera  rather  than  simply  observing  it,  brings  people  together  like  nothing  else.  Composing  and  singing  and  acting  together,  we  continually  surprise  ourselves  by  what  we  can  achieve,  how  much  we  can  express,  how  great  is  the  sum  of  all  individual  utterancesâ€?.  Such  blind  enthusiasm Â

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from  a  biased  insider  seems  obvious,  and  yet  it  is  truly  amazing  to  see  how  the  schools  in  this  autumn’s  Project  have  been  swept  along  by  it  and  felt  its  obvious  beneďŹ ts.  And  the  Event  spoke  to  Beryl  Knowles,  head  teacher  at  Holt  Primary  in  the  north  of  the  county,  and  she  praised  this  “positive  effectâ€?,  saying  that  in  the  intensive  week  of  in-­school  workshops  it  had  been  quite  fantastic  to  see  the  conďŹ dence  grow  in  each  of  the  children  involved,  and  that  the  levels  of  teamwork  and  focus  required  had  been  no  problem  and  that  many  children  had  shone  beyond  expectations.  The  Norfolk  Schools  Project  aims  to  tackle  somewhat,  the  drastic  cuts  in  music  provision  in  schools  in  the  last  few  years,  a  problem  exacerbated  in  Norfolk  by  the  rural  location  of  many  of  the  schools.   The  barriers  to  participation  and  viewing  in  the  arts  are  not  easy  to  break  down;Íž  they  require  considerable  funding  and  appetite  to  tackle,  and  a  huge  amount  of  fun  and  energy  for  these  attempts  to  succeed,  and  yet  this  project  seems  to  achieve  just  that.  Since  1997,  401  teachers  have  participated  in  workshops  that  provide  skills  in  dance,  drama  and  opera  that  can  be  transferred  into  the  classroom  and  amazingly,  1376  children  have  been  given  the  chance  to  perform  at  the  Theatre  Royal.  In  choosing  schools  with  a  high  percentage  of  children  from  low  income  backgrounds  and  in  choosing  schools  as  with  this  year’s  participating  schools,  that  are  in  rural  parts  of  Norfolk,  the  Schools  Project  has  been  able  to  have  an  incredible  effect  on  the  county’s  youngsters  who  otherwise  may  well  have  found  opera  and  drama  alien  and  unapproachable.  The  Norwich  Young  Peoples  Theatre  (NYPT)  provides  a  range  of  theatre,  music  and  movement  classes  for  ages  5-­25  in  the  Open  Youth  Venue,  a  former  bank,  in  the  city  centre.  The  Event  spoke  to  Peter  Beck,  a  director  of  NYPT  to  gauge  his  feelings  about  the  effects  of  youth  drama  and  its  successes  in  Norwich  and  his  prognosis  seemed  generally  positive,  he  said  he  felt  that  “youth  provision  up  to  the  age  of  sixteen  in  Norwich  was  generally  good,  especially  in  danceâ€?  and  that  there  were  a  number Â

of  successful  drama  companies  ready  to  take  up  the  baton  once  actors  reached  the  age  of  sixteen.  He  described  some  of  the  numerous  opportunities  that  the  NYPT  was  able  to  provide  including  theatre  and  allied  arts  classes  throughout  the  age  groups  and  the  senior  production  groups  to  which  many  former  UEA  students  are  involved  with.  The  classes  with  the  NYPT  are  lead  by  professional  tutors  who  continue  to  work  in  the  theatre  whilst  teaching  and  visiting  tutors  provide  classes  in  specialised  forms  such  as  mask-­work,  stage  combat  and  mime.  Recent  productions  from  the  NYPT  include  April’s  memorable  The  Lion,  The  Witch  and  The  Wardrobe  with  its  two-­hundred  strong  cast,  which  was  performed  at  UEA  in  the  Drama  Studio,  and  Cole  Porter’s  Anything  Goes,  which  was  the Â ďŹ rst  production  performed  at  the  Open  venue.  Currently  the  NYPT  are  preparing  to  perform  The  Crucible  and  the  critically  acclaimed  Berlin  to  Broadway  with  Kurt  Weill  in  early  December.  Much  work  is  being  done  to  bring  the  Open  venue Â

5IF TDIPPMT JO UIJT BVUVNO T QSPKFDU IBWF CFFO TXFQU BMPOH CZ JU BOE GFMU JUT PCWJPVT CFOFmUT right  up  to  date  in  terms  of  rehearsal  and  performance  space  and  the  development  of  a  modern  youth-­orientated  venue  is  to  be  celebrated  and  the  effects  of  the  NYPT’s  parent  organisation  the  Norwich  Theatre  Project  are  being  felt  across  the  East  of  England.  The  Event  also  visited  the  Garage,  in  Chapel  Field  in  Norwich.  A  predominantly  youth-­orientated  performing  arts  venue,  the  Garage  is  home  to  a  number  of  groups  that  play  a  hugely  beneďŹ cial  role  in  the  community  and  that  help  young  people  break  into  the  arts.  Whilst  there  the  Event  met  with  Carrie  MansďŹ eld,  of  Limelight,  and  she  spoke  of  the  “real  successes  of  the  programme  which  aims  to  provide  a  future  for  young  people  through  the  artsâ€?;Íž  the  scheme  offers  unemployed  16-­ 25  year  olds  a  root  back  into  education  or  a  career  by  using  performing  arts  to  develop  motivation,  communication,  tolerance  and  problem  solving  skills.  A  former  Princes’  Trust  project,  Limelight’s  courses  run  for  twelve  weeks  and  use  drama,  creative  writing,  circus  skills  and  introductions  to  directing  and  production  skills  to  achieve  these  goals.  The  Garage  is  also  home  to  a  number  of  other  groups  including  Norfolk  Dance,  which  offers  opportunities  for  all  age  groups  and Â

abilities  to  work  with  professional  dancers  and  companies,  and  the  City  College  Norfolk  (CCN)  whose  performing  arts  department  is  based  there.

Norfolk  County  Council  provided  the  building,  once  the  Theatre  Royal’s  scenery  store,  and  the  NELM  (North  Earlham  Larkham  and  Marlpit)  Development  Trust  provided  £2.5  million  worth  of  funding  for  the  renovation  and  refurbishment  of  it,  and  the  Garage  opened  in  April  2004.  The  Garage  is  undoubtedly  a Â ďŹ ne  performing  arts  venue,  its  three  sprung  oors  dance  studios  and  two  further  rehearsal  spaces  and  its  multi-­ purpose  auditorium  with  retractable  seating  and  the  latest  sound  and  lighting  technology  are  incredibly  impressive,  and  yet  this  is  not  just  a  place  to Â ďŹ nd  the  stars  of  the  future,  but  one  in  which  social  inclusion  and  helping  the  local  community  play  a  huge  part.  It  is  the  regional  centre  for  the  embryonic  Young  Peoples  Arts  Award  and  provides  a  whole  variety  of  courses  for  all  abilities.  The  Event  spoke  to  Gill  Dean,  the  Assistant  Manager  of  the  Garage,  who  was,  similarly  to  Peter  Beck,  positive  about  the  state  of  youth  drama  in  the  city.  She  focussed  on  one  project  at  the  Garage,  Vision  Street  that  was  funded  by  Broadland  102  Kidz  charity  and  involved  amongst  other  activities,  grafďŹ ti  art  and  street  dance,  to  illustrate  how  the  Garage  site  was  helping  the  community  by  playing  host  to  charities  and  other  groups  looking  to  help  young  people.  The  Garage  also,  along  with  the  Playhouse,  was  East  Anglia’s  host  for  the  internationally  renowned  celebration  of  youth  drama,  the  Shell  Connections  National  Theatre  Festival.  In  2005,  the  Garage  hosted  plays  that  had  been  chosen  to  perform  at  a  professional  venue  from  a  large  number  performed  in  the  region  and  these  included  Catherine  Johnson’s  brilliant  and  powerful  one  act  musical  Through  the  Wire  set  in  a  Young  Offenders  Institute.  This  venue  is  modern  in  its  attitude  and  function,  gone  are  the  elitist  barriers  that  denied  the  arts  from  many  in  only  the  recent  past  and  its  hosting  of  various  charitable  organisations  is  of  real  and  vast  beneďŹ t  to  Norwich  residents  and  especially  its  youth.  The  Garage  retains  links  to  the  Theatre  Royal,  who  were  instrumental  in  its  set  up,  and  the  sense,  even  in  a  brief  visit,  was  of  a  fun,  exciting  and  truly  well  equipped  performing  arts  venue.  The  Event  spent  a  week  visiting  venues  and  speaking  to  professionals  and  volunteers  involved  with  youth  drama  in  Norfolk,  and  was  pleasantly  surprised  to Â ďŹ nd  what  it  did.  The  youth  arts  movement  in  Norwich  is  a  strong  and  vibrant  one,  and  what’s  more  it  seems  well  funded  and  has  the  use  of  a  number  of  excellent  venues.  Wander  outside  the  UEA  ‘bubble’  and  you  may  well  be  amazed  at  the  quality  of  the  youth  drama  and  performing  arts. Â

Arts

Bestsellers

Theatre

1 Â 5IF 1FOVMUJNBUF 1FSJM

Arcadia

Lemony  Snicket  £7.99    Bloomsbury

6&" %SBNB 4UVEJP 5IVSTEBZ UI 'SJEBZ UI /PWFNCFS This  version  of  Tom  Stoppard’s  play,  Arcadia,  was  enchant-­ ing  in  its  humour  and  challenging  in  its  outlook.  The  cast  were  uniformly  conďŹ dent  in  their  roles  and  the  interwoven  narratives  were  well  executed  under  the  direction  of  Ross  McGregor.

The  play,  which  is  split  between  two  time  periods  but  takes  place  in  the  single  setting  of  Sidley  Hall,  was  beautifully  controlled  throughout.  With  the  majority  of  cast  members  playing  two  parts,  McGregor’s  version  of  Arcadia  switched  back-­and-­forth,  from  the  dawn  of  the  Romantic  period  to  the  present  day  with  aplomb.  In  the  play  we  follow  the  escapades  of  two  modern-­day  re-­ searchers,  Adam  Moulder’s  egotistical,  Byron-­obsessed  Bernard  Nightingale  and  Sarah  Handley’s  more  grounded,  dispassionate  Hannah  Jarvis,  as  they  compete  to  uncover  the  truth  behind  the  story  of  times  past,  the  time  of  the  other  narrative  which  is  set  in  1800s  England.  The  mysteries  which  they  attempt  to  unravel  form  the  core  elements  of  the  plotline  of  the  piece  and  the  audience  was  kept  suitably  engaged  throughout  the  play  by  the  powerful  interaction  be-­ tween  them.  As  they  fought  for  possession  of  the  truth,  their  performances  were,  at  many  times, Â ďŹ rst-­class.  Catherine  West’s  performance  as  Thomasina  Coverly  par-­ ticularly  caught  the  eye.  Thomasina’s  youthful  curiosity  de-­ ďŹ ned  the  plot,  and  West’s  characterisation,  with  a  combina-­ tion  of  doe-­eyed  innocence  and  eeting  adolescent  genius, Â

and  was  a  huge  success.  Joseph  Wells  as  Thomasina’s  an-­ tithesis,  her  tutor  Septimus  Hodge,  was  not  found  want-­ ing;Íž  Hodge’s  sardonic  nature  and  his  myopic  conďŹ dence  in  the  truth  as  he  saw  it,  perfectly  offset  West’s  performance.  The  chemistry  between  the  pair  positively Â ďŹ zzled  and  the  dialogue  as  a  whole  was  perfectly  executed  through  out  the  play,  though  occasionally  it  was  rather  too  fast  for  the  audi-­ ence  to  digest.   The  musical  interludes,  especially  the  opening  number  which  was  wonderfully  choreographed  to  a  track  by  Rufus  Wainwright,  were  particularly  emotive  throughout  and  al-­ ways  handled  delicately  so  that  they  remained  relevant  to  the  plot  and  never  became  spectacalised  or  distracting  for  the  audience.

It  was  Theo  Leonard  however,  who  in  both  of  his  roles,  as  the  Mathematician  Coverly  and  the  Poet  Chater,  so  often  stole  the  scene.  His  ailing,  failing  Chater  was  an  amusing  oppo-­ site  to  the  sexual  and  scholarly  conďŹ dence  of  Hodge.  Laurie  Miller-­Zutshi  and  Emily  Aylward  turned  in  decent  perform-­ ances,  and  yet  in  rather  less  memorable  roles,  while  Matt  Hassall  was  impeccable  as  young  Coverly  in  both  realms.  The  production’s  humour  was  it’s  greatest  asset  and  the  memory  of  a  clever,  funny  and  challenging  play  will  linger  long  in  the  mind. %BWJE 4IFQQBSE

2  +BNJF T *UBMZ Jamie  Oliver   £6.99    Corgi  Adult

3  6OUPME 4UPSJFT Alan  Bennett  £6.99    Abacus

4  5IF 4IBEPX PG UIF 8JOE Carlos  Ruiz  Zafon     £6.99    Penguin

5  (VJOFTT 8PSME 3FDPSET  £6.99    Corgi  Adult

6  5IF 8PSME "DDPSEJOH UP $MBSLTPO Jeremy  Clarkson   £7.99    Vintage

7  .BSHSBWF PG UIF .BSTIFT John  Peel,  Sheila  Ravenscraft   £6.99    Time  Warner  Paper-­ backs

8  5IVE Terry  Pratchett  Ebury  Press

9  5IF %B 7JODJ $PEF Dan  Brown£7.99    Vintage

10  4DPUMBOE 4USFFU Alexander  Mcall-­Smith  £8.99    BBC  Books =

Books

" (VJEF UP 4UVEZJOH BOE -JWJOH JO #SJUBJO ,SJT 3BP Aimed  at  international  students,  this  book  is  a  comprehensive  guide  to  UK  studying.  It’s  up-­ to-­date,  and  covers  everything  from  applying  for  a  visa  to  shipping  things  back  home  before  leaving.  It’s  helpfully  broken  down  into  sections  like  health,  money,  and  accommodation,  mak-­ ing  it  easy  to  ip  to  relevant  information.  It’s  also  packed  with  useful  addresses  and  website  links,  and  exhaustively  documents  British  air-­ lines,  average  temperatures,  tax  rates,  com-­ mon  diseases,  and  plenty  of  other  such  excit-­ ing  facts.

As  a  practical  and  factual  guide,  it’s  thor-­ ough  and  clearly  presented.  Where  it’s  slightly  lacking  is  in  grittier  cultural  information,  which Â

can  be  just  as  essential  to  the  well-­being  of  an  international  student  as  knowing  how  to  buy  a  stamp  or  contact  their  embassy.  A  section  on  ‘British  Customs  and  Habits’,  for  example,  discusses  the  all-­important  British  pastime  of  queuing,  but  for  a  student  guide,  a  warning  about  the  British  student  custom  of  getting  wasted  in  the  Union  at  every  opportunity  might  have  more  relevance.  For  internional  students  who  prefer  being  well-­prepared  this  book  is  a  great  idea  –  a  thor-­ oughly  valuable  resource  for  studying  in  the  UK,  Not  a  thrilling  bedtime  read,  but  deďŹ nitely  useful. $BUIFSJOF #BSUFS

4FDSFU )JTUPSZ %POOB 5BSU The  Secret  History  is  a  fat  book.  It  is  not  just  fat  in  the  sense  that  it  spreads  itself  well  over Â ďŹ ve  hundred  pages,  but  is  saturated  with  the  juices  of  a  psychological  thriller.  Rife  with  sus-­ pense,  mystery  and  cryptic  clues  for  the  reader  to  endlessly  chew  at,  it  is  little  wonder  Donna  Tart  received  an  astonishing  one  million  dollar  advance  for  the  novel  way  back  in  1992.

Set  in  an  intimate  Vermont  College,  the  novel  is  told  through  the  eyes  of  twenty-­year  old  Richard  Papen,  who  has  spent  an  unspectacular  and  neglected  youth  in  Californian  suburbs,  gazing  in  front  of  televisions  and  the  occasional  novel.  With  a  forte  in  Ancient  Greek  he Â ďŹ nds  himself  in  the  company  of  a  mysterious  group  of  bril-­ liant  yet  reclusive  students  and  their  equally  pe-­

culiar  Professor.  Soon  Papen Â ďŹ nds  himself  sub-­ merged  in  an  attempt  to  revive  ancient  Greek  mysticisms  and  a  supposedly  innocent  ritual  that  invokes  the  ancient  Greek  Rathyl’s  patron  G-­d,  Dionysus,  which  eventually  goes  horribly  wrong.  The  Secret  History  is  a  intelligent  novel,  intertwining  the  stereotypical  traits  of  the  mod-­ ern  student  (sex,  drugs  and  rock  n  roll  suppos-­ edly)  with  an  original  twist  of  Greek  tragedy.  Tart’s  ability  to  suffocate  the  reader’s  mind  with  gripping  storylines  means  this  novel  is  hard  to  put  down,  and  whilst  some  have  criticised  The  Secret  History’s  wordiness,  it  is  a  meagre  hitch  next  to  the  novel’s  endless  imagination. #FO #BSVDI

Event The

7

TV

Primetime

Macbeth  ##$ QN .POEBZ

Following  the  success  of  2003’s  Canterbury  Tales,  in  which  the  BBC  took  Chaucer’s  classic  stories  and  moved  them  into  a  contemporary  setting,  four  of  Shakespeare’s  most  popular  plays  have  been  given  the  same  treatment.  Much  Ado  about  Nothing  was  moved  into  a  regional  news  studio  and  The  Taming  of  the  Shrew  was  set  in  the  world  of  party  politics  –  but  what  of  Macbeth?

Macbeth  has  been  relocated  to  the  busy  world  of  a  kitchen  in  the  restaurant  of  a  top  Scottish  hotel  and  stars  James  McAvoy  (Shameless,  Early  Doors)  and  Keeley  Hawes  (Spooks)  as  Joe  and  Ella  Macbeth,  the  head  chef  and  maitre  d’  .  All  the  main  characters  of  the  play  have  been  incorpo-­ rated  into  the  restaurant  in  some  way  –  Duncan  is  a  famous  TV  chef  and  Banquo  works  alongside  Macbeth  in  the  kitch-­ en,  for  example.  The  three  witches  are  represented  as  three  bin  men,  which  seems  tenuous  and  weird  at Â ďŹ rst,  but  they  admitted  to  Joe  that,  by  going  through  his  rubbish,  they’ve  learnt  a  lot  more  about  him  than  he’d  have  suspected. Â

Suds

:PVS EPTF PG TPBQ OFXT )PMMZPBLT Finally,  Justin’s  fate  was  revealed  this  week  -­  the  jury  have  given  him  his  freedom.  To  celebrate,  the  two  families  threw  him  and  Darlene  a  party  although  she  refused  to  attend  and  locked  herself  in  her  room.  When  good  girl  Nicole  saw  Justin  again  she  decided  to  try  and  lure  him  into  bed  and  ended  up  lying  to  best  friend  Nancy  about  her  bedroom  conquests.  Louise  stepped  up  the  anti-­drug  rape  campaign  this  week  and  became  convinced  that  Danni  has  been  a  victim  of  drug  rape.  After  delving  deeper  into  the  case,  she  began  to  suspect  Andy  and  accused  him  at  the  St  Andrew’s  Day  party.  Bombhead  spent  the  week  longing  to  meet  his  real  father  and,  when  he  hired  a  clown  company,  he  coincidently  did Â ďŹ nd  him.  After  enduring  Lee’s  anger  and  criticism  he  now  has  to  make  a  very  important  decision  about  his  future.   Gilly  is  still  obsessed  with  fresher  Jessica  but  can’t Â ďŹ ght  his  shyness  to  actually  ask  her  out  so  enrolled  Rhys’  help.  The  St  Andrew’s  Party  will  be  a  night  of  false  accusations  with  a  dangerous  outcome  for  one  of  the  characters,  so  it  is  deďŹ nitely  not  one  to  miss. #FDLZ 3VUU /FJHICPVST Things  sure  have  been  pretty  bad  for  Stu  recently  what  with  being  made  temporarily  blind  after  risking  life  and  limb  in  the  pub Â ďŹ re,  having  his  best  friend  trying  to  ruin  his  wedding  and  now Â ďŹ nding  out  that  his  new  wife  is  actually  a  nut  case.  Sindi  revealed  all  after  Stu  caught  her  pushing  Toadie  (or  a  stunt-­ man  that  looked  nothing  like  Toadie)  down  a  ight  of  stairs.  She  was  in  fact  behind  all  the  ‘accidents’  that  had  been  hap-­ pening  on  the  street  and  had  carried  them  out  in  a  desperate  attempt  to  gain  some  control  over  her  life.  The  men  in  white  coats  were  called  for  and  Sindi  is  now  safely  locked  away.

On  a  different  note  there  has  been  plenty  of  love  action  happening  in  Erinsborough,  with  Conner  and  Serena Â ďŹ nally  declaring  their  love  for  each  other,  Joe  telling  Lynn  that  she  is  the  only  Sheila  for  him  and  the  dramatic  revelation  that  Steph  and  Max  are  expecting  a  baby.  All  this,  coupled  with  the   adventures  of  Izzy  and  Paul,  has  meant  it’s  been  a  dramatic  week  in  Ramsay  Street!

3FCFDDB )VOU

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Event The

The  restaurant  setting  worked  superbly  and  the  way  in  which  the  characters  were  included  was  very  cleverly  done.  The  killing  of  Duncan,  for  example,  was  brought  on  by  the  restaurant  gaining  its  third  Michelin  star  and  Duncan  tak-­ ing  all  the  credit,  leading  to  Ella  Macbeth  handing  Joe  a  kitchen  knife.  The  appearance  of  Banquo’s  ghost  was  in-­ spired  –  after  killing  him  in  a  nearby Â ďŹ eld,  Joe  received  a  call  from  him  on  his  mobile  phone.  These  touches  meant  that  it  could  be  watched  as  either  a  bloody  contemporary  drama  or  the  play  itself,  and  it  worked  well  on  both  levels.

One  problem  was  that  the  characters  weren’t  explicitly  introduced  as  being  who  they  were.  For  example,  this  re-­ viewer  didn’t  realise  who  Macduff  was  until  Joe  had  killed  his  family.  If  he’d  been  referred  to  as  Macduff  rather  than  the  modern Â ďŹ rst  name  he’d  been  given  then  this  problem  would  have  been  avoided  –  but,  equally,  if  it  had  been  watched  as  a  drama  rather  than  the  play,  then  this  maybe  wouldn’t  have  been  a  problem.

Macbeth  was  a  fantastic  interpretation  of  the  original  play,  as  were  the  other  two  programmes  that  have  so  far  been  shown  (the Â ďŹ nal  one,  A  Midsummer  Night’s  Dream,  is  being  shown  next  week).  As  demonstrated  by Â ďŹ lm  -­  Baz  Luhrman’s  Romeo  and  Juliet  and  Ten  Things  I  Hate  About  You,  for  example  -­  Shakespeare’s  plays  can  be  translated  easily  into  many  different  settings.  With  the  popularity  and  brilliance  of  this  series,  another  batch  of  the  Bard  is  hope-­ fully  not  too  far  away. $ISJT )ZEF

TV Â DVD

$SFBUVSF $PNGPSUT 4FSJFT 1BSU b 3FMFBTFE After  what  seems  far  too  long,  “Creature  Comfortsâ€?  has Â ďŹ -­ nally  returned  to  our  screens  for  an  anxiously  anticipated  second  series.  The  idea  behind  the  programme  is  child-­ ishly  simple  –  a  sequence  of  interviews  of  “the  great  British  publicâ€?.  A  series  about  people  then?  No.  The Â ďŹ ne  men  and  women  at  Aardman  Animations  have  touched  the  hearts  of  children  and  adults  alike  and  the  occasional  person  who  just  likes  everything  anthropomorphic.

It  is  the  animals  of  mother  Earth  at  centre  stage  of  this  wittily  funny  serial.  Be  it  a  tiger  talking  about  how  many  times  he’s  been  out  for  an  Indian  in  the  week  or  whether  its  details  of  cliff-­diving  given  by  a  lemming,  each  episode  can  be  assured  of  at  least  one  ‘laugh  out  loud’  moment.

Every  instalment  focuses  on  a  different  aspect  of  life  in  general,  ranging  from  the  world  of  sport  to  favourite  imper-­ sonations.  Even  the  menial  has  been  rendered  hilarious,  shown  delightfully  by  a  family  of  moles  complaining  about  the  leek  in  their  bathroom  ceiling.  Much  of  the  comedy  and  cleverness  of  the  series  is  lost  if  you  merely  listen  to  the  creatures’  speech;͞  it  is  the  attention  paid  to  subtle  back-­ ground  details  which  add  depth  and  humour  to  the  charac-­

ters  (as  anyone  who  has  ever  seen  Wallace  and  Gromit  will  appreciate).  Popular  favourites,  such  as  the  infamous  Captain  Cud-­ dlepuss  &  Trixie,  make  a  welcome  return  but  are  not  over-­ played  so  much  as  to  make  the  audience  tire  of  them.  The  new  characters  are  surely  destined  to  become  classics  -­  I  can  say  conďŹ dently  that  Muriel  &  Catherine  are  the  best  deaf  old  bats  on  British  TV  in  the  truest  sense  of  the  words.

What  started  as  an  award-­winning  short Â ďŹ lm  in  1989  has  produced  a  new  generation  of  comic  genius.  The  time  and  energy  spent  in  making  these  models,  as  well  as  the Â ďŹ lm-­ ing  of  the  shorts,  must  be  mentioned;Íž  4  seconds  of Â ďŹ lming  is  completed  every  day,  and  the  accuracy  required  to  make  these  ‘documentaries’  believable  make  it  a  painstaking  process.  “Creature  Comfortsâ€?  should  be  admired  not  just  in  terms  of  its  comic  value,  but  also  as  a  masterpiece  of  mod-­ ern  television.  Nick  Park’s  still-­frame  creation  has  spawned  from  a  mere  pastime  to  a  multi-­million  pound  business.  It  is  a  deďŹ nite  highlight  of  a  Sunday  evening,  even  if  you  never  look  at  your  pets  in  the  same  way  again.     #FO 4QBSTIPU

Telly  Classics 4PNF .PUIFST %P A"WF A&N The  beret,  the  mac,  the  ill-Â­ďŹ tting  tank  top  and  the  “oh  Bet-­ tysâ€?  combine  to  create  the  legend  that  is  Frank  Spencer  and  “Some  Mother  Do  ‘Ave  ‘Emâ€?.  The  show  followed  the  adven-­ tures  of  two  newlyweds  -­  the  accident  prone  Spencer  and  his   incredibly  patient  wife  Betty.  Although  the  storylines  were  never  brilliant,  few  could  forget  Spencer’s  death  defying  stunts,  ranging  from  dangling  over  a  cliff-­edge  from  the  ex-­ haust  pipe  of  a  Morris  Minor  to  roller-­skating  under  a  mov-­ ing  lorry.  What  sets  this  sitcom  apart  from  the  rest  is  that  Michael  Crawford,  as  Spencer,  performed  all  his  own  stunts  which  would  no  longer  be  tolerated  by  television  companies  (and  their  insurers)  but  created  some  of  the  most  amazing  and  hilarious  physical  comedy  ever  seen  on  television. Â

The  audience  both  sympathised  with  and  laughed  at  the  dim-­witted  Spencer.  He  was  the  ultimate  loser  and  victim  of  his  surroundings  with  everything  falling  apart  at  his  very  touch.  He  had  only  good  intentions  but  they  always  ended  in  disaster  and  chaos  whether  it  be  getting  a  job,  home  im-­ provements  or  learning  to  drive.  The  show  remained  light-­ hearted  as  Spencer  was  saved  from  misery  by  his  sheer  na-­ ivety,  persistence  and,  most  importantly,  his  absolute  love  for  Betty  and  his  daughter  Jessica.  It  remains  a  classic  for  a  nation  who  values  the  unsuspecting  innocent Â ďŹ gure  comi-­ cally  struggling  in  an  unforgiving  world  and  has  stood  the  test  of  time  despite  of  the  dodgy  hair  dos  and  wobbly  sets!         3FCFDDB )VOU

TV

Glossing  Over  The  Cracks

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hink  of  any  show  from  the  70s  and  the  things  that  it’s  now  remem-­ bered  for.  You  might  think  of  bad  acting,  cringe-­worthy  scripts  or  terrible  clothes  –  or  maybe  even  the  trade-­ mark  that  many  programs  from  that  decade  have;Íž  a  low  budget.  Take  Starsky  and  Hutch,  for  example  –  a  car  chase  in  the  show  no-­ toriously  involved  stunt  doubles  driving  the  pair’s  Torino  down  narrow  alleys,  sending  boxes  tumbling  out  of  the  way  and  a  shot  of  the  actors  in  a  mock-­up  of  the  car  in  front  of  a  screen  of  moving  trafďŹ c.  Compare  that  to  its  modern  day  equivalent,  in  which  the  relatively  gentle  nature  of  that  has  become  as  glitzy  and  over-­the-­top  as  possible,  with  exploding  cars,  death-­defying  stunts  and  breakneck  speeds  and  the  70s  equivalent  seems  nearly  prehistoric.  It’s  a  trend  that  is  becoming  worryingly  more  and  more  fre-­ quent  in  today’s  TV  –  with  bigger  budgets  and  computer  technology  getting  ever  more  advanced,  producers  can  afford  Hollywood  makeovers  for  their  shows.  But  is  this  such  a  good  thing?

Take  Lost,  for  example.  It’s  one  of  the  most  original  programmes  of  recent  years  and  completely  hooks  anybody  who  watch-­ es  it.  It  is  also  famous  for  having  an  enor-­ mous  budget  –  each  episode  of  the Â ďŹ rst  se-­ ries  cost  around  $2.5  million  (ÂŁ1.4  million)  to  make  and,  with  a  total  of  24  episodes  per  series,  it  doesn’t  take  a  mathematician  to  work  out  that’s  a  lot  for  just  one  show. Â

The  pilot  episode  alone  (a  two  hour  special  in  which  a  plane  crashes  and  the  survivors  work  out  how  to  cope)  cost  $12  million.  It  can  be  argued  that  Lost  needs  such  a  big  budget,  with  its  wide  range  of  actors  and  staff,  as  well  as  effects  and  tropical  island  location.  This  amount  of  money  does  seem  ridiculous,  however,  and  spending  such  a  large  amount  can  hardly  be  justiďŹ ed  when  most  of  it  is  going  on  visual  things  such  as  effects.  If  the  program  itself  is  good  (and  it  really  is,  in  this  case),  then  why  do  we  need  all  these  special  effects  layered  over  the  top  of  it?

Such  an  argument  cannot  be  used  for  other  programs  that  are  doing  the  same  thing,  however.  The  US  series  Monk,  about  a  detective  that  suffers  from  obsessive-­ compulsive  disorder,  is  currently  having  its  third  series  shown  on  BBC2  on  Saturday  af-­ ternoons.  Back  in  the Â ďŹ rst  series,  the  show  was  vastly  different  –  the  characters  seemed  more  rounded  and  the  mysteries  seemed  to  be  a  lot  more  inventive.  As  it  grew  in  popu-­ larity  and  star  actor  Tony  Shalhoub  picked  up  several  awards,  including  an  Emmy  for  his  brilliant  portrayal  of  Monk,  TV  executives  realised  that  they  had  a  hit  on  their  hands  and  began  to  lavish  more  money  on  it.  With  that,  the  quality  of  the  programme  went  out  of  the  window.  The  latest  series  has  been  much  less  inventive  than  before,  with  mys-­ teries  being  solved  relatively  quickly  due  to  the  airtime  being Â ďŹ lled  with  various  ways  to  spend  the  budget.  For  example,  a  episode  late  on  in  series  three  has  a  long  and  very  ostentatious  car  chase  as  Monk  and  his  as-­

sistant  follow  the  episode’s  villain.  It’s  not  needed  at  all  –  it  doesn’t  further  the  plot  and  seems  to  be  there  just  to  use  up  the  budget  that  the  show  has  suddenly  been  landed  with.  If  the  quality  of  Monk  had  increased  as  the  budget  clearly  did,  then  it  wouldn’t  be  a  problem  –  however,  if  anything,  the  quality  of  the  show  as  a  whole  has  declined  since  the Â ďŹ rst  series.  Our  homegrown  programmes  are  also  suffering  from  this  problem.  Spooks Â ďŹ n-­ ished  its  fourth  season  a  couple  of  weeks  ago  and,  while  it  had  some  very  memora-­ ble  episodes,  it  didn’t  feel  like  it  was  on  a  par  with  previous  runs.  One  of  the  show’s Â

5IF NBUUFS PG TUZMF PWFS TVCTUBODF OFFET UP CF TUPQQFE CFGPSF JU HFUT DPNQMFUFMZ PVU PG DPOUSPM selling  points  is  it’s  use  of  dramatic  ef-­ fects,  such  as  the  zooming  in  and  out  of  key  things  (which  sometimes  makes  viewers  feel  a  bit  nauseous)  and  the  three  views  that  will  sometimes  appear  onscreen  –  one  shot  of  a  mission  in  progress,  one  of  the  rest  of  the  team  back  in  MI5  HQ  and  one  of  the  target,  for  example.  This  style  of  shooting,  while  deďŹ nitely  different  and  fresh,  is  some-­ times  too  much  to  be  taken  in  at  once  and  is Â

a  bit  too  stylish  for  its  own  good.  One  example  of  over-­reliance  on  stylishness  occurred  in  the  penultimate  episode  of  the  series,  in  which  there  was  a  ludicrous  car  chase  as  two  agents  drove  at  around  100mph  on  a  road  winding  through  a  dense  forest  –  in  complete  darkness.  With  only  one  pair  of  night  vision  goggles,  the  driver  decided  that  it  would  make  more  sense  for  the  passenger  to  wear  them  and  tell  him  when  to  turn.  The  scene  lasted  no  more  than  a  couple  of  minutes,  but  featured  many  hair-­ raising  near  misses  with  trees,  sharp  corners  and  narrowly  avoided  crashes  –  all  shot  in  night  vision  to  make  it  more  dramatic.  It  was  clear  that  the  show  was  trying  to  shoehorn  a  tense  James  Bond-­esque  car  chase  in,  but  it  seemed  very  far-­fetched  and,  again,  point-­ less.  While  it  is  possible  that  the  undoubtedly-­ already-­planned Â ďŹ fth  series  will  cut  down  on  these  ashy  sequences,  it  is  doubtful.

Rome  started  on  BBC2  a  few  weeks  ago  and  the  fact  that  it’s  been  developed  by  HBO  and  BBC  (two  of  the  biggest  television  chan-­ nels  on  the  planet)  shows  instantly.  It  follows  the  plots  of  politicians  in  the  city  to  prevent  Caesar  from  regaining  power  on  his  return  to  the  city  after  conquering  Gaul  (clearly  As-­ terix  and  his  potion  failed).  On  top  of  this  main  plot,  the  lives  of  various  other  citizens  are  detailed,  from  slaves  to  merchants,  in  all  their  stereotyped  toga-­wearing,  chariot-­racing  and  orgy-­indulging  glory.  With  this  comes  the  show’s  price  tag  of  £60  million,  making  it  the  most  expensive  British  TV  drama  ever  made.  To  this  viewer,  that  is  completely  over  the  top;Íž  and  it  doesn’t  even  show.  The  programme  meanders  around,  showing  the  audience  all  these  different  people’s  lives  over  the  course  of  11  episodes,  but  how  the  stupidly  large  budget  was  spent  isn’t  clear  at  all.  Yes,  there  are  well  thought  out  chariot  races  and  over  350  speaking  parts,  but  how  on  earth  did  that  come  to  that  much?  With  so  much  money,  you  would  think  that  the  show  would  beneďŹ t  from  it,  but  it  has  just  become  a  very  preten-­ tious  and  glitzy  drama  with  characters  that  are  difďŹ cult  to  identify  with.

This  trend  seems  to  be  the  Hollywood-­ isation  of  television.  Whereas,  many  years  ago,  TV’s  biggest  shows  were  simple  and  clearly  had  a  budget  of  only  a  few  quid,  the  most  popular  shows  today  are  those  in  which  money Â ďŹ lls  in  the  cracks  that  appear  due  to  the  low  quality  of  the  rest  of  the  programme.  ‘If  it  has  a  dodgy  script,  a  poor  premise  or  unknown  actors  –  no  worries,  let’s  spend  mil-­ lions  of  dollars  on  ashy  computer  effects  to  beef  it  up  and  make  the  audience  think  that  it’s  good’  seems  to  be  the  general  attitude  of  TV  executives.  Ultimately,  the  matter  of  style  over  substance  needs  to  be  stopped  before  it  gets  completely  out  of  control  and  we  end  up  with  listings  in  which  every  show  is  akin  to  a Â ďŹ lm  with  suitably  sized  budgets  –  which  will  clearly  not  make  good  television.

Event The

9

Creative  Writing

Poetry TAXI

A  drunk  in  the  garden his  dead  white  stare

 Cabby’s  Corner

@

Cabby’s  corner  is  dedicated  to  the  taxi  drivers  of  Norwich  with  their  endless  facts,  stories  and  revelations.   Next  time  you  get  a  taxi  bring  your  notepad  and  email  your  own  cabby’s  corner  to  m.whitton@uea.ac.uk Well,  what  it  is  is,  I’m  an  in-­som-­ni-­ac.  Honestly,  can’t  sleep  a  wink.  Knack-­ ered  all  day  long,  then  the  second  I  put  me  head  on  the  pillow,  boom  -­  it’s  like  I’m  on  crack.  So  I Â ďŹ gured  I  might  as  well  be  making  some  money,  right?  And  anyway,  I Â ďŹ nd  driving  really  sooth-­ ing  -­  all  those  lines,  all  those  lights,  the  rhythm  of  it....gets  me  really  woozy.  Af-­ ter  few  hours  of  this,  I  can  just  pull  into  a  layby  and  spread  across  the  backseat  for  a  kip.  But  then,  I  haven’t  slept  this  week  at  all,  not  a  minute  of  shut-­eye  for  over  8  days,  so  I  could  just  drop  off  at  any  ...

The  Undertaker A  dusty  silence I  clasp  my  hands And  try  to  see  the  logic In  a  distraught  mothers  wish To  have  no  owers  on  the  cofďŹ n.

The  deceased  was  allergic  to  pollen.

They  all  expect  me  to  understand Because  I  wear  a  black  suit,  make  my  money  from  tombs.

I  really  need  a  neon  sign Big  and  bold  in  the  window,  preferably  bright  pink, ‘Does  not  understand  death  any  more  than  you, But  cofďŹ ns  measured  while  U  wait’.

Friendly  neighbourhood  undertaker.  That’s  me.

I  could  switch  professions.

Become  a  Butcher,  a  baker, Even  the  frigging  candlestick  maker, But  people  would  still  be  scared.

I’ve  seen  death  too  often  to  be  trusted.

And  no  one  wants  to  get  too  close.

When  I  die I’ll  crumble To  become  the  dust That  spirals  in  the  chinks  of  light  in  the  shop.

"OPO

Leaving  home  01  So  she  walks  down  the  street  with  her  hair  in  ribbons,  cool  not  caring, In  her  hands  plastic  bags  full  of  pocket  money, (Suburbs  closing  and  exploding  in  her  head) Checking  her  face  in  car  mirrors,  mini  movie  screens.

The  radio  playing  the  beat  of  the  lost  and  alive  teens, Someone  calls  and  hears  her  dial  tone.

So  she  walks  down  the  street  with  hair  in  rib-­ bons,  remembering  forgetting.    #BSOFZ 5JENBO

10

Event The

The  naked  lunch Lay  sprawled  slovenly I  covered  my  eyes  to  preserve  your  modesty But  you  had  none What  happened  to  manners  and  cultlery?

You  ate  with  sticky Â ďŹ ngers Protruding  suggestively Licking  in  motions  I  knew Though  could  not  remember I  watched  your  left  overs  jealously Wished  you  could Â ďŹ t  me  on  a  plate The  table  was  inviting But  you  averted  your  eyes  knowingly Did  it  taste  better  than  me?

Vegetarian  blood  is  sweet And  I  am  ripe  for  the  pickling...

Drunk  in  the  Garden

his  awful  mouth  open to  collect  the  rain My  wife  placed  daisies over  each  gray  eye Tomorrow  we  will  roll  him  over Breathless  with  the beauty  of  it

3FCFDDB #PXF

+PIO 5PTI

These  Nights

Untitled

Man,  when  I  learnt  to  love  you.

I  was  young  and  childish And  when  you  told  me  that  your  aftershave  Would  lead  to  intimate  surprises  I  beamed, I  didn’t  know  I  was  your  fool.

I’ve  got  eyes  the  size  of  saucers the  kind  that  spin  those  magic  tea-­cups  on  the  boardwalk. they  light  up  when  I  think  of  Coney  Island,  and  I  think  of  Coney  Island  so  I can  think  about  you and  that  subway and  those  sirens,  whirring  like  my  bad  whistle  whirring but  the  only  sirens  here  are  false Â ďŹ re  alarms,  and  they  mean  nothing. some  pigeons  here,  but  not  the  kind  that  lure  you  like  all  demure,  just  so they  can  steal just  as Â ďŹ lthy  but  not  so  clever and  their  eyes  don’t  spin  like  eating  acid but  these  bon Â ďŹ re Â ďŹ re  works  explode  outside  and  I  shiver  inside  from  dull dry  heat I  look  a  round and  around spent  but  still  a  hotel  guest squatting little  tramp I’m  trying  to  see  you,  but  I’m  bad  with  direc-­ tions

When  we  went  to  see  the  night  happen And  laugh,  and  learn  to  laugh  at  it.

I  didn’t  know  I  was  your  fool.

Fairy  Godmother,  my  brother  in  arms  I  want  those  nights  again Bring  back  the  eager  ritual Redress  my  adolescence  for  me  to  cast  off  I  want  those  frantic  half  hours  of  preparation Before  high  street  degradation, When  I  didn’t  know  I  was  your  fool.

The  Clay

"OESFX (BSUIXBJUF

You’ve  turned  to  constellations  again.

To  andromeda,  sculptor,  pyxis.

To  the  unspoken  wisdom  of  the  ox,  the  pig,  the  rat.

I  made  you  a  rosary  of  rhinestones, emerald  and  sapphire  glass.

How  you  grasped  that  iridescent  imitation, turned  it  between  your  bony Â ďŹ ngers, the  translucent  skin  of  the  tips vigorously  massaging  each  traitor.

You  bared  your  teeth  in  appreciation.

Spread  your  swollen  cracked  lips to  show  only  blackened  canines generations  in  the  sharpening.

As  though  you  were  made  to  devour  the  esh in  search  of  something  easier  to  swallow. +FOOZ "OESFT

The  Substitute  Last  summer  we  received  a  sofa  bed, Due  to  lack  of  room  and  want  of  guests;͞ A  fold  out  substitute  for  travelling  heads Placed  in  a  room  where  ambition  digressed.

It’s  purpose  hidden  under  socks  and  frocks And  sometimes  by  my  slumped  slumbering  Old  dog;͞  who  jumped  when  springs  refused  to  lock In  a  folded  steel  cage  wanting  stretching.

The  summer  to  follow  he  passed  away Body  limp  and  wilting  my  dazed  hopes, As  unconsciously  we  congregated  Round  the  place  he’d  layed,  deputing  the  hole Where  tears  leaked,  for  me  on  the  oor And  for  my  Dad,  arms  crossed,  by  the  door.  #FOKBNJO 8PPET

Prose

The  Naked  Lunch

which  way  where  to  look "MFYBOESB /BVHIUPO

Still  There The  magnetic  letters  on  the  fridge  Spell  your  name.  You  got  everywhere-­  tomorrow,  Can’t  you  take  yourself  away?  After  the  door  closed  behind  you  this  morning,  Your  shadow  tugged  at  my  jeans  As  I  cleaned  the  kitchen,  made  breakfast.  I  went  to  tidy  up  the  debris  of  your  stay  And  found  you  again.  I  shook  you  out  of  my  duvet  with  the  creases  And  you  settled  cheerfully  back  As  I  smoothed  it  into  daytime  folds.  I  wanted  to  work,  but  you  hung  around  Tickling  the  back  of  my  neck  Until  the  essay  words  blurred  and  danced  Like  last  night’s  imploding  stars.  I  gave  up  and  wrote  this  instead,  Resenting  you  for  being  nothing  more  than  a  thought. Â

Familiar  Man That  man  there,  smoking  his  cigar,  at  the  table  in  the  corner.  Does  he  seem  familiar?  Dusty  top  hat  poised  upon  dusty  pile  of  books.  Crowning  glory.  The  lethargic  elegance  of  his  long  legs  lying  clumsily  beneath  the  table.  Forgotten.  He  looks  tired.  He  looks  familiar.  He  looks  at  me.  Ah,  I  remember.  I’ve  seen  him  by  the  by  the  church,  back  against  the  wall  in  a  casual  pose,  but  he  twitches  and Â ďŹ dgets  as  though  he’s  waiting.  His Â ďŹ ngers  tense  and  spasm,  right  hand,  as  though  it  should  possess  something.  His  left  dances,  nervous  and  stilt-­ ed,  across  the  rough  stone  wall.  As  though  he’s  waiting,  waiting  for  someone.   I  think  it  is  a  woman.  She’s  promised  to  leave  her  husband  for  him,  to  meet  him  by  the  church.  She  put  on  her  scarf  and  coat.  She  gently  placed  an  envelope  on  the  hallway  ta-­ ble,  an  envelope Â ďŹ lled  with  her  pain,  anguish  and  remnants  of  love,  her  clichĂŠ;Íž  smoothing  it  down,  a  last  caress.  She  slipped  off  her  wedding  ring.  Then  she  looked  in  the  mirror.  So  this  man,  her  lover,  was  waiting,  waiting.  Now  he  sits  at  that  table  in  the  corner  with  his  cigar,  his  dusty  hat  and  books.  I  think  he’s  waiting  still. )PMMZ $VSUJT

Poesy This  is  prose.  You  can  see  it’s  prose,  because  it’s  all  on  one  line.  Until  I  run  out  of  space  and  have  to  go  on  to  the  next  one.

This, However...

Is  poetry Because  I’m  hitting Enter At  seemingly-­random Intervals?

So  what, I  ask, Would  happen  if  you  were  to  write  poetry  all  on  one  line  rather  than  hitting  Enter  at  seem-­ ingly-­random  intervals?

Or Prose On Far Too Many?

-VLF 0XFO

Creative  Writing  Section  Expands!

Your  voodoo  works  backwards,  your  power  Increasing  with  every  expression  you  leave  )FSF JU JT QFPQMF 5IF GBCVMPVT GVMM QBHF behind.  I  don’t  want  you  to  think  I  mind,  you  know.  5IF &WFOU /FFET ZPV UP mMM UIJT TQBDF But  even  though  I  jumbled  the  letters,  XJUI QSPTF QJFDFT QPFNT BOE QJDUVSFT Washed  the  duvet  and  shooed  your  shadow  JMMVTUSBUJOH ZPVS XPSLT PG HFOJVT away-­  You’re  still  here,  and  I  miss  you.  1MFBTF FNBJM ZPVS DPOUSJCVUJPOT UP I  write  other  words  with  the  magnetic  letters  And  pretend  you  don’t  know  what  it  is  I’m  say-­ ing.                                              N XIJUUPO!VFB BD VL #FY )BSSJT

Horoscopes

HOROSCOPES Aquarius: Jan 20 - Feb 18

Gemini: May 21 - Jun 21

What a horrible couple of weeks you’ve had, thank god that last fortnight is over. Let’s see what the stars have in store for you this week. Oh…more of the same.

You should definitely leave the country as soon as possible, and pack lightly as well. I don’t have time to explain, just seriously, get a taxi to Stanstead, now!

Leo: Jul 23 - Aug 22

Aries: Mar 21 - Apr 19 It seems your heart’s desire has turned you away. But if you think about it, “we should just stay friends” has many sexual connota-­ tions. The stars say you’re in there!

Wear blue this fortnight. The stars say it probably won’t bring you good fortune, but you have to admit you look pretty damn good in it. It brings out your nose.

Cancer: Jun 22 - Jul 22

Libra: Sept 23 - Oct 23

You must have slagged off the stars or something. It looks like Jupiter has deliberately altered its orbit for the sole purpose bringing you bad luck all week. That’s harsh.

The stars have prophesized a bad week, but that NASA probe has disrupted the whole cosmic flow. It’ll miss Mars by a long way, but its brought you good fortune.

Pisces: Feb 19 - Mar 20

Capricorn: Dec 22 - Jan 19 I know you’re supposed to be a goat and all, but you shouldn’t eat everything that you’re given.

That’s bound to come back up again sometime this fortnight.

Watch out for envy, wrath, greed and lust this fortnight, they could bring your downfall. But you can laugh at lust, gluttony and pride, they won’t do you any harm, silly sins.

Sagittarius: Nov 22 - Dec 21 Your friends think you’re psychic, but soon they’ll realise that you already saw neighbors at lunch, and that’s how you knew. Leave the real predictions to the pros.

Scorpio: Oct 24 - Nov 21 You should take advantage of any Libras that you know, they’re hot for Scorpios at the moment. But act quickly, next fortnight you’re just gonna get on their nerves.

Taurus: Apr 20 - May 20 The stars say you’ll pull a beauty, get drunk, go out on the town, feel like celebrating, get a first on your essay and then hand your essay in.

Maybe I have my chart upside down.

Virgo: Aug 23 - Sept 22 You will be betrayed by a Scor-­ pio, but don’t worry about it. I was board and decided to look two weeks ahead and they will have a pretty tough time of it next fortnight.

Advertorial

The Legend That Is Roy Walker

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aturday the 5th of November, at the LCR, the Now 90s club night reaffirmed Roy Walker’s status as an absolute “legend” in the eyes of the student population. Hosting a game of “car park catchphrase”, the ever successful Radio One competi-­ tion run by Chris Moyles, Roy Walker gave four students a chance to win a model Lotus.

As Roy Walker stepped out onto the stage to the familiar tune of Catch-­ phrase a roar went up from the crowd.

He shared the stage with two beautiful models from Norwich -­ a gorgeous yel-­ low Lotus Exige and a stunning red Lo-­ tus Elise, which were set up to sound their horns and flash their lights to in-­ dicate which student had the answer.

Walker challenged the crowd to guess such Catchphrases as “Let sleeping dogs lie” and “It ain’t over till the fat lady sings”. Faced with a deafen-­ ing crowd Walker adlibbed much of the competition to help the students

along, proving that his stand-­up skills come in very handy when faced with 1500 keen spectators.

After the contest Roy did a meet and greet with the many students who were queueing at the side of the stage, in-­ cluding posing for many cameraphone photos and signing various body parts, before posing himself with the cars on stage.

Speaking after the event, Walker said he was “overwhelmed by the re-­ sponse”. The event at UEA was in fact only the first of a 5 University tour, which will carry on till Christmas. In fact, it was the first time he had ever taken Catchprase on the road, a fact which he wishes to remedy now: “I didn’t think it could be as good as this, or as stylish! I never expected 1500 people.” Although he was rather hesi-­ tant about doing it again without the cars, having responded when asked about them: “Well, who wouldn’t love a Lotus?”

Walker obviously looks back on his time at Catchphrase with a great deal of fondness, having worked on the show for 14 years, from 1985 to 1999. When asked if he missed it, he enthusiasti-­ cally answered: “Yes, it was my game!”

But adds with some regret, that they went on to find cheaper presenters.

Nowadays he tours the country exer-­ cising one of his other many talents: “Well, many people don’t know this but before I did Catchphrase I was a stand-­up comic, so I’m touring doing that now.” And as well as this, he ap-­ pears in an apparent gem of a cameo in the film Jealous God. Given the popularity of the night though, would he consider coming back to Catchprase? “Absolutely. I am forever grateful to Chris Moyles and his millions of listeners! The feedback here has been very humbling”.

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ittle  Britain  returned  to  our  screens  last  week  for  it’s  third  series,  with  a  host  of  new  characters  mixing  with  the  old,  and  it  was  thankfully  not  too  bad  after  the  sell-­out  and  lacklustre  second  series.  Well,  maybe  ‘not  too  bad’  is  a  bit  positive.  Actually,  it  was  pretty  dire.  Matt  Lucas  and  David  Walliams  have  said  in  recent  interviews  that  they  don’t  think  the  show  is  getting  old  yet  and  that  they’re  not  retread-­ ing  old  ground  or  recycling  catchphrases.  Hmmm‌..

Three  new  characters  were  introduced  to  us  in  this  episode,  with  three  more  to  be  shown  in  future  episodes.  The  simplest  of  these  is  Mrs  Emery,  where  the  joke  is  that  she‌  pis-­ ses  herself.  The  sketch  showed  her  in  a  super-­ market,  where  she  bumped  into  a  friend  and,  while  chatting,  started  urinating  onto  the  oor  and  seemed  completely  unaware  that  she  was  doing  so.  The  reaction  of  the  friend,  and  lack  of  reaction  from  Mrs  Emery,  started  off  mildly  amusing,  but  the  joke  grew  old  quickly.  She  carried  on  peeing  for  the  rest  of  the  sketch  and  even  as  she  walked  off.  It  was  completely  over Â

the  top  and  the  fact  that  she  does  this  seems  to  be  the  only  joke  with  the  character,  in  the  same  unfunny  toilet  humour  mould  as  the  WI  ladies  from  series  two.  Presumably  we’ll  get  to  see  her  wet  herself  in  all  kinds  of  “hi-­ lariousâ€?  situations  over  the  course  of  the  se-­ ries.  Another  new  character  was  Sir  Norman  Fry  (played  by  Walliams),  a  funny  parody  of  politicians  trying  to  cover  their  backs  with  ludicrous  stories.  In  the  sketch,  he’d  been  accused  of  raping  a  man  and  gave  a  press  statement  to  explain  what  happened  –  after  picking  the  man  up,  he’d  driven  to  a  dark  alleyway  and  stopped  to  get  a  Murray  Mint  from  the  glove  box.  While  doing  this,  he’d  accidentally  jumped  on  the  man  and  insert-­ ed  part  of  himself  into  the  man.  This  was  actually  pretty  funny  and  it  was  topped  off  when  Norman  tried  to  kiss  his  wife  (Lucas),  who  shied  away  from  him.  Clearly  the  ex-­ cuse  wasn’t  washing  with  her  and  this  much  more  subtle  humour  worked  very  well.  The Â ďŹ nal  new  characters  in  this  episode  were  Dudley  and  Ting  Tong.  Dudley,  played  by  Walliams,  is  a  loser  with  a  comb-­over  who  lives  in  a  high-­rise  at  by  himself  and  has  ordered  a  Thai  bride.  When  Ting  Tong,  the Â

bride,  turns  up  on  his  doorstep  and  looks  nothing  like  the  one  he’d  ordered,  he  threat-­ ens  to  complain,  prompting  Ting  Tong  to  get  down  on  her  knees  and  beg,  leading  to  the  character’s  catchphrase  of  “maybe  just  stay  for  the  one  nightâ€?.  The  jokes  used  were  fairly  funny,  but  Lucas’  portrayal  of  the  character  and  the  set-­up  in  general  could  be Â

+PLFT UIBU XFSF GVOOZ UXP ZFBST BHP BSF EFG JOJUFMZ OPU BOZNPSF both  seen  as  pretty  racist.  It  will  be  interest-­ ing  to  watch  the  development  of  this  pair  over  the  series.

All  the  other  characters  were  more  famil-­ iar,  such  as  Marjorie  Dawes  and  Sebastian.  The  more  popular  characters  from  series  2,  such  as  Anne  and  Bubbles,  appeared  too,  but  their  sketches  were  quite  predictable.  In  the  last  series,  Lucas  and  Walliams  gave Â

Emily  Howard  (the  rubbish  transvestite)  a  partner  with  similar  leanings,  which  seemed  to  follow  the  logic  of  “if  one  makes  people  laugh,  two  will  make  them  laugh  twice  as  muchâ€?.  It  seemed  a  bit  desperate,  really,  and  made  the  sketches  seem  a  bit  forced.  Bubbles,  the  infamous  fat  lady  from  the  spa,  was  given  this  treatment  in  a  sketch  where  her  ex-­husband  (played  very  well  by  Rob  Bry-­ don)  appeared  at  the  spa  with  his  new  wife,  a  similarly  overweight  black  woman  (Walli-­ ams).  The  two  got  into  a  catďŹ ght  which  led  to  them  rolling  around  naked  on  the  oor,  much  to  the  approval  of  the  Brydon  char-­ acter.  It  was  all  too  easy  for  the  sketch  to  descend  back  into  this  and,  despite  open-­ ing  promisingly,  it  did  and  the  hoped  effect  of  ‘double  the  characters  means  double  the  laughs’  really  didn’t  work.  The  other  characters  were  similarly  tired  and  repetitive.  The  jokes  that  were  funny  two  years  ago  are  deďŹ nitely  not  anymore.  Yes,  we  get  that  Daffyd  thinks  he’s  the  only  gay  in  a  village  of  gay  people.  Yes,  we  get  that  Andy  can  walk  and  is  taking  advantage  of  Lou  behind  his  back.  Yes,  we  get  that  Sebas-­ tian  fancies  the  Prime  Minister.  The  formula Â

has  gotten  stale  through  overuse  and  over-­ reliance  on  catchphrases  but  still  seems  to  be  massively  popular.  The  huge  audiences  that  the  show  gets  means  that  Lucas  and  Walliams  are  pressured  to  keep  churning  episodes  out  while  they’re  still  avour  of  the  month  (this  is  the  third  series  in  as  many  years)  which  leads  to  unimaginative  and  boring  sketches  like  this.  If  they  had  a  gap  of  two  years,  for  example,  before  bringing  out  the  inevitable  fourth  series  then  maybe  they  could  make  it  fresh  and  funny  again.  For  now,  however,  this  series  looks  like  it’ll  sim-­ ply  be  retreading  the  well  established  route  of  previous  series  and  this  reviewer,  for  one,  will  not  be  watching  anymore  due  to  sheer  boredom  with  the  characters.

The  impact  of  Little  Britain  in  the  last  couple  of  years  has  been  frightening.  From  chavs  quoting  Vicky  Pollard  at  each  other  (do  they  not  realise  it’s  satirising  them?)  and  the  hugely  popular  audio  books  to  the  many  awards  it’s  picked  up  (such  as  the  Best  Com-­ edy  at  this  year’s  National  TV  Awards,  beat-­ ing  Extras  and  Max  and  Paddy)  and  cash-­in  merchandise  released  (you  can  now  buy  things  like  dolls,  stationery,  clothing  and  posters),  the  success  of  Walliams  and  Lu-­ cas’  vehicle  is  undeniable.

They’re  currently  embarking  on  a  mam-­ moth  six  month  sell-­out  tour  around  the  UK,  which  will  be  followed  next  October  with  a  residency  at  the  Hammersmith  Apollo  in  London  for  the  entire  month.  Now,  think  of  how  much  money  that’s  making  each  of  them.  The  six  month  tour  has  sold  out  com-­ pletely.  An  average  theatre  they’re  playing  at  has  roughly  1,200  seats.  At  £30  per  ticket,  that’s  £36,000  per  night.  And  that’s  every  night  for  six  months.  While  this  money  has  to  pay  the  theatres,  the  roadies  and  the  set  designers  etc,  its  still  a  lot  of  money.  Coupled  with  the  merchandise  (ÂŁ10  for  a  programme  and  £20  for  a  T-­shirt)  and  the  ofďŹ cial  tour Â

DVD  and  book  that  are  planned  for  release,  the  tour  is  apparently  going  to  net  Lucas  and  Walliams  £5  million  each.  Their  DVDs  have  also  raked  in  money  for  them.  The Â ďŹ rst  series  of  Little  Britain  be-­ came  the  biggest  selling  TV  DVD  ever,  sell-­ ing  13,500  copies  in  the Â ďŹ rst  week  alone  and  1.3  million  in  2004  (despite  it  being  released  in  October),  as  well  as  becoming  the Â ďŹ rst  non-Â­ďŹ lm  title  for  ten  years  to  be  the  number  one  in  the  best-­seller  list  at  Christmas.  The  Comic  Relief  DVD  released  in  February  (sold  for  £5  with  only  £3.40  of  that  going  to  Comic  Relief)  raised  around  £1.6  million  for  the  charity,  so  it  clearly  sold  in  vast  quantities  too.  An  appearance  at  Live  8  showed  how  massive  they’ve  become  in  only  a  couple  of  years.

Matt  Groening  is  apparently  interested  in  getting  some  characters  to  appear  in  The  Simpsons.  A Â ďŹ lm  is  rumoured  to  be  in  the  script  stages.  A  cross-­over  show  in  which  Vicky  Pollard  meets  Catherine  Tate’s  Lauren  (half  an  hour  of  “yeah  but  notâ€?  and  “bovveredâ€?  sounds  like  quality  television)  is  in  development.  A  tribute  act,  Littler  Britain,  is  riding  on  the  pair’s  coat-­tails  and  per-­ forming  up  and  down  the  country.  All  this  from  two  blokes  who  met  at  Bristol  Univer-­ sity  15  years  ago  and  wear  their  inuences  (Monty  Python,  The  League  of  Gentlemen)  so  proudly  on  their  sleeves  that  the  way  in  which  they’ve  overshadowed  each  of  those  acts  is  criminal.  Little  Britain,  like  it  or  loathe  it,  is  here  to  stay  and  Lucas  and  Walliams,  while  they’re  still  in  the  limelight,  are  milking  the  public  for  every  penny  they  can  squeeze  out  of  them  and,  with  merchandise  being  released  seemingly  every  month  and  the  tour  and  third  series  DVDs  waiting  to  be  re-­ leased,  it’s  clear  that  this  is  going  to  carry  on  for  a  long  time  yet.

Ting-Tong  and  Dudley When  mail-­order  bride  Ting-­Tong  Macadan-­ dang  arrives  on  the  doorstep  of  his  bachelor  pad,  Dudley  is  surprised  to  see  that  the  Thai  is  completely  different  to  the  description  and  photo  in  his  brochure.  As  she  pleads  with  him  to  let  her  stay,  Dudley  eventually  relents  and  lets  her  stay,  clearly  due  to  the  hint  of  unknown  pleasures  that  Ting-­Tong  promises  obliquely.  The  sketch  will  presum-­ ably  repeat  itself  over  the  coming  episodes,  with  Dudley  trying  to  get  rid  of  his  new  bag-­ gage  and  her  trying  to  take  his  mind  off  the Â

matter.  Again,  it  feels  a  bit  like  Lucas  and  Walliams  have  paid  close  attention  to  con-­ troversial  issues  in  the  UK  and  are  satiriz-­ ing  them  with  all  their  worth.  The  issue  of  Thai  brides  has  been  debated  for  years  and  it’s  unlikely  that  the  sketch  will  change  peo-­ ple’s  opinion  on  the  matter.  Either  way,  it’s  pretty  funny  –  although  Lucas’  portrayal  of  Ting-­Tong  (‘crazy’  in  Thai)  does  err  a  little  close  to  being  quite  racist.  The  nature  of  the  characters  gels  in  with  the  feel  of  the  rest,  but  it  does  feel  like  something  out  of  a  very Â

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new  series,  she  turns  up  looking  very  or-­ ange  due  to  a  mess-­up  with  some  suntan  lotion,  which  prompted  the  Fat  Fighers  to  turn  the  tables  and  insult  her,  mentioning  foods  such  as  Jaffa  cakes,  marmalade  and  Tango.  This  was  a  funny  role-­reversal  but  it  soon  retreated  back  to  familiar  ground  as  the  horrible  Marjorie  laid  into  one  over-­ wight  woman.  From  her  (relatively)  humble  beginnings  as  the  mother  of  George  Dawes  in  Reeves  and  Mortimer’s  Shooting  Stars,  she’s  been  turned  into  a  character  that  now  exists  purely  to  hate.  She  has  no  redeem-­ ing  qualities,  unlike  most  of  the  other  indi-­ viduals  in  the  show,  and  is  so  cruel  to  the Â

Bubbles  is  a  horrendously  overweight  wom-­ an  that  lives  at  a  spa  in  the  British  country-­ side  without  paying  for  it  at  all.  It  could  be  seen  as  being  a  parody  on  the  idle  rich  that  populate  such  establishments  –  or  it  could  be  seen  as  a  chance  for  Lucas  to  take  off  the  clothes  the  character  is  wearing  and  bare  the  character’s  disgustingly  abby  body  the  world.  Unfortunately,  it  always  feels  more  like  that  the  latter  rather  than  the  former  and  descends  the  sketch  into  the  realms  of  farce  and  gross-­out  body  humour.  In  the  last  series,  she  was  chased  around  the  spa  by  the  owner,  who  demanded  that  she  paid  for  her  treatment  (leading  to  some  hilariously  random  lines,  such  as  giving  her  husband’s  phone  number  as  “12345‌.6â€?).  This  always  led  to  Lucas  peeling  his  clothes  and  attempt-­ ing  to  seduce  the  owner,  prompting  amused  disgust  from  all  viewers.  In  this  series,  she’s Â

been  given  a  rival  and,  from  the  look  of  the Â ďŹ rst  episode,  it  seems  like  she’ll  constantly  be  facing  off  with  her.  This  will  inevitably  lead  to  naked  fat  people  and  more  horrible  scenes.  The  twist  that  Lucas  and  Walliams  have  given  Desiree,  the  rival,  is  that  she’s  black,  which  means  Walliams  has  blacked  up  and  been  given  horrendously  oversized  lips.  This  in  itself  is  gross  enough  (not  to  mention  horrendously  un-­PC)  ,  but  it  seems  as  if  they  made  her  black  simply  to  differenti-­ ate  her  from  Bubbles  as  they  are  otherwise  exactly  the  same  character.  The  pair  have  po-­ tential  to  create  humour  simply  from  their  childish  arguments,  but  it’s  clear  that  every  single  one  of  these  will  descend  into  a  cat-­ ďŹ ght.  It  follows  the  same  pattern  as  all  too  many  Little  Britain  sketches  –  once  you’ve  seen  one,  you’ve  seen  them  all.

un-­PC  70s  BBC  sitcom  in  which  people  that  don’t Â ďŹ t  in  with  the  British  idea  of  “normalâ€?  is  to  be  made  fun  of  (see  “Love  Thy  Neigh-­ bourâ€?).  The  catchphrase  of  “just  stay  for  the  one  nightâ€?  seems  destined  to  join  the  ranks  of  the  many  others  from  the  show  and  it  will  be  interesting  to  see  what  the  pair  does  with  these  characters.  Either  way,  they  are  still  funnier  than  some  other  characters  (such  as  the  puerile  toilet  humour  of  Mrs  Emery  and  Maggie  and  Judy).

Marjorie  Dawes One  of  the  funniest  characters  in  the  origi-­ nal  series,  she  became  a  bit  boring  and  re-­ petitive  in  series  2  and  this  series  seems  to  be  promising  more  of  the  same.  You  know  the  format  by  now  –  Marjorie  insults  the  Fat  Fighters  club,  pretends  that  she  can’t  understand  Meera  and  generally  throws  a  tempter  tantrum.  In  series  one,  there  were  some  original  things  done  with  the  charac-­ ter,  such  as  when  she  visited  her  mother  in  hospital  or  the  supermarket.  However,  Lucas  and  Walliams  clearly  realized  that  she  was  the  most  amusing  when  in  the  Fat  Fighters  club  scenario  and  have  stuck  her  there  ever  since.  In  the Â ďŹ rst  sketch  of  the Â

Bubbles  DeVere

Fat  Fighters  that  it’s  not  funny  anymore.  However,  she’s  gone  so  far  into  this  mould  that  any  chance  of  changing  her  personal-­ ity  is  completely  gone  and  her  sketches  will  rely  on  insults  and  put-­downs  forever  more  –  it’s  difďŹ cult  to  see  the  monster  that  she  is  now  doing  the  gentle  yet  absolutely  hi-­ larious  “dust,  anybody,  no?â€?  routine  again.  She’s  been  used  for  laughs  so  much  that  she’s  simply  not  funny  anymore  and  Lucas  and  Walliams  need  to  rethink  what  they  do  with  her  for  the  next  series  to  sustain  inter-­ est  in  her.

Sir  Norman  Fry One  of  the  9  new  characters  promised  in  this  series.  David  Walliams  plays  this  char-­ acter,  a  politician  who  has  to  hold  press  conferences  frequently  to  bail  himself  out  of  the  awkward  situations  that  he’s  got  him-­ self  into.  In  this Â ďŹ rst  episode,  we  watched  him  give  a  statement  from  the  drive  of  his  country  house,  along  with  his  wife  (Matt  Lu-­ cas)  and  children.  The  joke  is  that  he  clearly  raped  a  black  man  (or  “Raaaaaaaa-­stafarianâ€?  as  the  out-­of-­touch  politician  calls  him)  and  is  trying  to  come  up  with  excuses,  no  mat-­ ter  how  poor  they  are,  to  save  his  career  and  dignity.  It’s  a  particularly  well  realised  char-­

acter  and  makes  fun  of  the  many  politicians  that  do  this  in  ‘real’  Britain  (step  forward,  Mr  Blunkett).  There  are  many  aspects  of  com-­ edy  with  the  character  –  the  viewer  pictures  what  actually  happened,  listens  to  the  poor  excuse  that  Fry  concocts  and  watches  as  his  wife  looks  disgusted  with  him,  yet  has  to  put  on  a  happy  face  for  the  cameras.  Lucas  and  Walliams  have  clearly  thought  of  many  dif-­ ferent  scenarios  for  Fry  to  worm  out  of  and  hearing  the  different  excuses  for  his  actions  throughout  the  series  will  make  this  one  of  the  funniest  characters  –  and  there  won’t  be  a  catchphrase  in  sight!

Event 13 The

Music

Kate  Bush Golden   Sounds Aerial

'BUCPZ 4MJN :PV WF $PNF " -POH 8BZ

In  1998,  after  the  success  of  his  remix  of  Cornershop’s  “Brim-­ ful  of  Ashaâ€?,  Norman  Cook  released  this  album  to  critical  ac-­ claim.  The  world  clearly  agreed  with  these  critics,  as  it  rightful-­ ly  went  platinum.  Seen  by  many  as  one  of  the  most  accessible  and  imaginative  big  beat  albums,  it  showcases  Cook’s  wide  taste  in  music  as  the  album  veers  crazily  between  loads  of  genres  –  a  typical  rock  song  can  suddenly  melt  into  a  hard  house  anthem  with  no  warning,  but  still  sound  brilliant.  While  it’s  only  11  tracks  long,  the  four  singles  alone  are  arguably  among  the  biggest  dance  songs  of  the  90s;Íž  Right  Here  Right  Now,  The  Rockafeller  Skank,  Gangster  Tripping  and  Praise  You.  Alongside  these  are  songs  such  as  Fucking  in  Heaven  (built  around  the  repeated,  spoken  line  ‘Fatboy  Slim  is  fuck-­ ing  in  heaven’),  the  early  90s  rave-­athon  Acid  8000  and  the  weird  guitar  and  synthesizer  mix  of  Built  It  Up,  Tear  It  Down.  Since  this  masterpiece,  Cook’s  work  went  downhill  with  fol-­ low-­up  Halfway  between  the  Gutter  and  the  Stars  (a  pale  imi-­ tation  of  this  album)  and  the  strangely  dif-­ ferent  Palookaville.  While  he  strives  to  make  another  album  that  can  better  this,  it’s  difďŹ cult  to  see  how  he,  or  anybody  else,  could.  $ISJT )ZEF

Kookie  songstress  Kate  Bush  has  returned  to  our  airwaves  and  album  charts  after  a  rather  lenthy  break  with  the  release  of  Aerial.  Most  of  the  hubbub  around  the  album  so  far  has  come  from  over  excited  fans,  easily  enough  to  put  the  un-­ initiated  off  picking  it  up.  The  general  consensus  seems  to  be  that  this  new  release  spells  a  return  to  Bush’s  former  glory  with  the  familiar  teaming  of  understated  melodies  and  whispy  vocals.  The  ideal  way  to  a  number  one  slot,  with  a  guaranteed  body  of  loyal  fans  all  bound  to  pick  up  at  least  one  copy  for  their  collection.  This  unquestionable  success  makes  it  all  too  easy  to  simply  dimiss  Aerial  as  a  reworking  of  Bush’s  older  work,  and  not  engage  with  the  album  for  what  it  is  -­  an  impressive  and  engaging  effort.   The Â ďŹ rst  single  release  from  the  album,  King  of  The  Mountain,  is  indicative  of  the  slow  burn  nature  of  Bush’s  style.  Something  in  the  song’s  wailed  chorus  haunts  the  back  of  the  listener’s  mind.  It  is  only  when  it  has  been  heard  a  number  of  times  that  it  truly  unfolds  into  a  very  pleasing  and  rich  track,  with  far  more  to  offer  than  much  of  its  com-­ petition  in  the  charts.  This  quality  is  both  a  blessing  and  a  curse  and,  although  entirely  intentional,  is  perhaps  an  ob-­ stacle  for  the  fair-­weather  listener.  The  complexity  prevents  Aerial  having  the  immedite  and  more  visceral  appeal  of  some  of  Bush’s  greatest  work,  Wuthering  Heights  for  exam-­ ple,  but  also  suggest  that  her  hiatus  was  a  worthwhile  one.  Much  of  the  album  has  a  playful  tone  to  it,  brought  about  by  the  ecclectic  subjects  Bush  turns  her  lyrical  pen  to.  She Â ďŹ nds  inspiration  in  everything  from  Pi  to  washing  machines,  remaining  an  accomplished  and  insightful  writer.  Bush  is  unafraid  of  simple  wording,  with  the  repetitive  cho-­ rus  of  Bertie  (‘you  bring  me  so  much  joy,  then  you  bring  me  more  joy’)  a  mantra-­like  loop  that  the  song  etches  itself,  being  one  of  the  most  outstanding  moments  of  the  album. Â

This  willingness  to  embrace  a  diverse  wealth  of  experience  is  one  of  the  strengths  of  the  album,  making  it  a  worthwhile  purchase  for  those  less  familiar  with  Bush’s  catalogue  and  preventing  it  from  feeling  exclusive  or  snobbish.  Overall,  Aerial  is  a  mature  album.  Do  not  expect  to Â ďŹ nd  an  obvious  poppy  number  thrown  in  to  appease  the  listener  and  dilute  the  denseness  of  the  other  tracks.  All  the  songs  are  unapologetic  in  their  layered  complexity.  The  album  is  truly  a  joy  to  listen  to,  but  this  joy  has  to  develop  and  at  times  this  can  be  a  chore,  albeit  a  worthwhile  one.  It  will  un-­ doubtedly  receive  rave  reviews  and  be  hailed  as  the  work  of  a  returning  genius,  but  would  perhaps  better  be  described  as  an  afďŹ rmation  of  why  Kate  Bush  has  had  such  a  successful  career  and  as  an  album  worthy  of  praise  in  its  own  right.  ,BUF #SZBOU  Â

What’s  On Wednesday  23/11/12  3PCJO 5PXFS                                   b BEW 7.30pm  Waterfront "MLBMJOF 5SJP 40-% 065 7.30pm  LCR  .BSL 5IPNBT BOE 3PCFSU /FXNBO  b   8.30pm  Norwich  Playhouse    ,BSJOF 1PMXBSU                               b BEW 8pm  Norwich  Arts  Centre

Thursday  24/11/05

5IF 4FMFDUPS b BEW        7.30pm  Waterfront 6OJPO 'JMN 5IF 4FB *OTJEF b 7.30pm  LT1   3PTT /PCMF b b 7.30pm  Theatre  Royal Â

Friday  25/11/12

6OJPO 'JMN 8BS PG UIF 8PSMET b 7.30pm  LT1  5IF )FBWZ #MJOLFST b BEW 8pm  Norwich  Arts  Centre   1BNTIPVTF b 9.30pm  LCR Â

14

Event The

Saturday  26/11/05

7JO (BSCVUU b 8pm  Norwich  Arts  Centre   3FUSP UIFNFE b BEW 10pm  LCR   .FMUEPXO b PO UIF EPPS 10pm  Waterfront Â

Sunday  27/11/05

5IF %JDLJFT b BEW 7pm  Waterfront  Â

Monday  28/11/05

.POP 8PSMET &OE (JSMGSJFOE b BEW 8pm  Norwich  Arts  Centre  #MBDL %JBNPOE )FBWJFT 'SFF 8pm  The  Shed Â

Tuesday  29/11/05

5IF %BNOFE 8SFDLMFTT &SJD 5IF 8FJSEPT b BEW 7.30pm  Waterfront )FBWFO BOE )FMM UIFNFE -$3 b BEW 10pm  LCR   Â

Wedmesday  30/11/05

3PPUT .BOVWB b BEW 7.30pm  LCR  "SPVOE UIF 8PSME JO ESJOLT 8pm  Union  Pub Â

Thurday  1/12/05

*BO #SPXO 40-% 065 7.30pm  LCR   %+ +PO $BSUFS b PO UIF EPPS PO  NA  NA

Friday  2/12/05

$SBEMF PG 'JMUI b BEW 7.30pm  LCR   6OJPO 'JMN -BTU %BZT b LT1  7.30pm  T /JHIU b PO UIF EPPS 10pm  Waterfront Â

Saturday  3/12/05

/PX T b BEW 10pm  LCR   .FMUEPXO b PO UIF EPPS 10pm  Waterfront Â

Sunday  4/12/05

5IF 0UIFS 4NJUIT BOE .PSSJTTFZ b BEW 7pm  Waterfront  2VJ[ register  at  7.30pm  Union  Pub Â

Monday  5/12/05

"M 1JUDIFS DPNFEZ b BEW 8pm  Hive Â

Tuesday  6/12/05

5IF %FBE T b 7.30pm  Waterfront  4LPPM %B[F %JTDP b BEW 10pm  LCR Â

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Music

Thirty  Years  of  RÜck

5IJSUZ MPOH ZFBST BOE .PU¤SIFBE BSF TUJMM TFMMJOH PVU CVU GPS TPNF SFBTPO JUT OPU KVTU UIF IBSESPDL NJEEMF BHFE GBOCBTF XIP BSF CFJOH MVSFE UP UIF TIPXT $IBSMFT 3VNTFZ MPPLT BU IPX UIF CBOE IBWF mOBMMZ HBJOFE MFHFOEBSZ TUBUVT CZ CSJEHJOH UIF HFOFSBUJPO HBQ

W

e’re  MotĂśr-­ head  and  we  play  rock  and  rollâ€?.   30  years  on  the  road  and  M o t Ăś r h e a d  still  don’t  do  stage  sets,  they  still  don’t  do  fancy  lights,  no  pyrotechnics,  no  special  effects  and  no  gimmicks.   30  years  perfecting  the  hard  rock  sound  and  all  that  was  needed  was  a  clockwise  turn  of  the  volume  gauge.  It’s  somewhat  ironic  that  heavy  metal’s  most  acclaimed  group  should  be  so  subtle.   Com-­ pared  to  the  technology  of  the  current  mu-­ sic  scene  their  approach  is  little  more  than  basic:   Phil  Campbell  is  by  no  means  the  most  skilled  guitarist  in  the  world,  with  a  wall  of  amps  behind  you  anyone  could  make  a Â ďŹ nger  picking  riff  howl  like  a  siren.   And  its  not  as  if  even  the  most  hardcore  fan  would  claim  that  Lemmy  Kilminster  can  actually  sing  anymore.   At  this  stage  it  could  be  said  that  drummer  Mikkey  Dee  is  a  proved  mas-­ ter  of  the  skins  but  the  point  is  that  MotĂśr-­ head  have  got  something  that  rock  school  cant  teach  you.   It  seems  rather  boring  to  call  it  experience  but  the  rock  and  roll  life  means  nothing  if  you  haven’t  actually  expe-­ rienced  it  for  yourself.

Of  course  it’s  probably  the  same  old  story,  there  was  sex,  there  was  drugs  and  there  was  rock  and  roll.   Every  generation  knows  it  in  one  form  or  another  and,  though  they  love  to  think  it  was  different  or  better  for  them,  MotĂśrhead  have  been  the  role  models  for  the  children  of  the  last  three  decades.   Morphine  replaced  the  illegalised  cocaine,  heroin  became  the  cure  for  mor-­ phine,  methadone  the  cure  for  heroin,  the  cure  was  never  different  from  the  disease  “so  why  change  our  style?â€?  Lemmy  explains  “the  music  doesn’t  improve,  only  our  opin-­ ions  of  it  doâ€?.

A  MotĂśrhead  gig  is  a  no-­frills  unmiss-­ able  experience  that  will  have  your  ears  ringing  for  days.   The  fans  from  30  years  ago  glare  at  the  middle  aged  upstarts  for  jumping  on  the  Ace  of  Spades  bandwagon  25  years  ago;Íž  who  frown  upon  the  young  wannabes  for  going  off  on  their  new  model  Harleys  every  Sunday;Íž  who  dead  eye  the  student  metal  scene  in  fake-­faded  skin-­tight  Iron  Maiden  tee-­shirts;Íž  who  glower  at  the  little  rock  kids  lining  the  barrier;Íž  who  look  backwards  at  their  leather  clad  parents  out  to  prove  that  one  day  they  were  cool  too.   All  of  them  together  create  the  most  bizarre  blend  of  denim,  leather,  bleach  blonde,  bald-­ ing,  pierced,  mulleted,  young-­old  metallers  you  will  ever  see.   During  the  Ozzfest  in  1998  Lemmy  was  quoted  for  saying  “young  music  is  supposed  to  piss  old  people  off,  that’s  how  it  works,  all  young  people’s  mu-­ sic  sounds  the  same  to  me,â€?  which  almost Â

shows  how  a  band  only  becomes  legendary  when  they Â ďŹ nally  manage  to  transcend  the  generation  gaps.   You  can’t  really  argue  that  any  of  MotĂśrheads  new  music  is  re-­ ally  what  the  kids  lining  the  front  want  to  hear,  they’re  waiting  for  the  Ace  Of  Spades,  same  as  their  parents  standing  at  the  back.   And,  self  admittedly,  they  haven’t  changed,  in  fact  it  almost  seems  that  they  haven’t  aged,  “we’re  doing  good  stuff  –  I  don’t  re-­ ally  see  a  reason  to  change  what  we’re  do-­ ing  if  it’s  rightâ€?.   Musical  trends  are  on  a  constant  loop,  the  ‘80s  synth  sound  is  back  in  vogue  for  instance,  but  MotĂśrhead  are  somehow  still  attracting  new  crowds  like  they  have  become  some  music  tradition.   There  is  clear  evidence  that  hard  rock  is  not  just  reserved  for  the  stereotypical  middle-­ aged  trailer  trash  with  bikes.   Despite  the  diversity  of  generations  there  is  very  little  diversity  of  style.   Lets  face  it,  rock  and  roll  is  the  ultimate  stereotype,  take  The  Dark-­ ness  whose  genuine  skills  in  the  genre  are  portrayed  as  a  parody  for  the  mainstream  listener  while  all  the  time  they  have  no  need  at  all  to  exaggerate  the  trademark  idiosyn-­ crasies  of  rock.   MotĂśrhead  themselves  may  not  oat  on  the  melodrama  of  peers  like  ACDC  or  Kiss  but  they  remain  as  inuential  through  their  sheer  devotion  to  the  rock  and  roll  lifestyle.   Bands  these  days  don’t  offer  the  same  unadulterated  deviation  as  the  old  rock  legends,  its  all  showmanship,  even  Pete  Doherty  himself  is  criticised  for  acting  up  in  front  of  cameras.   It  wasn’t  “ironicâ€?  to  not  give  a  damn  in  rock  and  roll;Íž  you  just  didn’t.   These  days’  trendy  rock  stars  smoke  roll-­ups  or  Marlboro  lights,  back  then  it  was  Marlboro  Red  and  a  bottle  of  JD  just  for  starters.   They  wore  leather  jackets  to  last  them  the  rest  of  their  lives  where  now  you  buy  tanned  leather  jackets  and  woollen  scarf  to  last  until  tank  tops  are  back  in.   Maybe  this  was  why  the  crowd  was  so  hush  as  the  band  left  the  stage  after  vowing  to  return  for Â

" .PU¤SIFBE HJH JT B OP GSJMMT VONJTT BCMF FYQFSJFODF UIBU XJMM IBWF ZPVS FBST SJOHJOH GPS EBZT the  encore.   Maybe  its  just  an  inspired  re-­ spect  for  a  trio  that  have  become  genuinely  deaf,  alcoholic  and  scarred  because  of  the  life  style  everyone  wants  to  be  able  to  buy  instead  of  experiencing  for  themselves.

As  well  as  this  it’s  strange  how  MotĂśr-­ head  has  become  a  household  name  but  at  the  same  Ozzfest  in  ’98  they  couldn’t  even Â

make  the  main  stage.   In  the  past  Lemmy  has  criticised  music  media  for  indirectly  manufacturing  bands  for  short-­term  suc-­ cesses  and  that’s  all  the  kids  seem  to  want  to  hear.   But,  as  he  explains,  when  it  comes  down  to  it  people  look  back  with  a  fondness  to  the  music  they  loved  when  they  were  an  adolescent;Íž  “they  get  their Â ďŹ rst  fuck,  and  they  smoke  their Â ďŹ rst  cigarette,  or Â ďŹ rst  joint,  or  whatever  it  was,  and  they  had  a  good  time  for  the Â ďŹ rst  time  with  that  music  in  the  back-­ groundâ€?.   Somehow  that  doesn’t  really  ex-­ plain  why  MotĂśrhead  is  still  such  an  attrac-­ tive  prospect  for  youth  rock  fans  but  there’s  no  doubt  as  to  why  the  older  fans  want  to  accompany  their  children  to  the  gig.

Clearly  totally  deaf  from  the  constant  eardrum  battering  Lemmy  surely  is  the  god-­ father  of  loud  and  has  somehow  made  his  career  into  something  beyond  the  standard  rock  icons  of  Bono  or  even  Ozzy.   In  total,  over  the  years  MotĂśrhead  have  had  10  dif-­ ferent  members  come  and  go  and  the  only Â

one  to  have  played  at  every  gig  for  the  full  30  years  is  of  course  Lemmy.   Swaggering  out,  perfectly  on  cue,  the  man  himself  required  no  introduction  and  none  was  given,  oddly  enough  the  LCR  was  silent.   Aside  from  the  ringing  ears  every  pause  between  every  song  the  crowd  went  hush.   Was  this  a  silence  of  pure  respect?   Was  it  that  we  were  all  deaf  too?   Or  was  it  just  because  this  was  what  50  year  olds  do  at  gigs?   Either  way  it  did  more  for  the  air  of  appreciation  than  twice  as  many  screaming  fans  could.   “Can  you  hear  us  ok  or  should  we  turn  it  up  a  bitâ€?.   MotĂśrhead  play  so  tight  live  they  need  the  impromptu  guitar  and  drum  solos  to  make  you  sure  they’re  not  just  playing  the  CDs,  30  years  of  virtually  nothing  but  touring  and  Lemmy  doesn’t  even  seem  bored  of  those  three  words  everyone  has  paid  £25  to  hear.   It  might  seem  painfully  clichĂŠd  to Â ďŹ nish  with  them  but  the  song  itself  is  the  best  description  of  MotĂśrhead’s  career  as  a  whole,  no  one  would  really  doubt  that  Lemmy  him-­ self  is  the  ace  of  spades.

Event 15 The

Music

Bloodhound  Gang  5IF 8BUFSGSPOU

Opening  support  act  Lucky  nine,  made  up  of  members  from  A  and  Hundred  Reasons,  manage  to  please  the  crowd  by  playing  some  very  good  driving  metal.  Front  man  Colin’s  vocals  penetrate  ears  in  a  very  good  way,  adding  to  the  wall  of  sound  effect  that  all  the  gig  goers  want  to  hear  -­  maybe  a  bit  out  of  place  here,  no  toilet  humour,  but  they  still  win  over  the  fans.    Beer  swigging  Japanese  mentalists  Electric  Eel  Shock  then  burst  on  stage  like  crazy  Tokyo  advertising,  pounding  their  songs  out  to  an  enjoying  audience.  Their  humour  is  sim-­ ple,  shouting  rude  words  and  metal  pastiches,  but  they  put  smiles  on  faces.  Special  mention  to  the  Mohawked,  naked,  four  sticks  wielding  drummer‌    “What’s  up  Knor-­witch  bitches?!â€?  As  expected  the  Blood-­ hound  Gang  come  out  waving  middle Â ďŹ ngers  in  the  air  and  singing  songs  about  vaginas,  poo,  beer  and  weed.  What  is  surprising,  however,  is  what  a  tight  live  act  they  are.  Singer  Jimmy  Pop’s  vocals  are  strong  and  they  play  the  crowd  a  great  selection  of  their  own  hits,  and  cover  tunes  by  Franz  Ferdinand,  Jay  Z,  Kanye  West,  Linkin  Park  and  others.  Be-­ tween  songs  they  delight  the  crowd  with  puerile  jokes  about  the  English,  cock  sucking,  fat  people,  Michael  Jackson  and  chlamydia.    But  it  is  not  until  the  encore  that  the  now  utterly  wasted  band  starts  really  pulling  out  the  party  pieces.  Firstly,  they Â

Off  the Record

'JMF TIBSJOH TDBSJOH

The  global  music  industry  is  currently  taking  major  steps  to  limit  and  combat  the  highly  contentious  music  pirate  industry.   As  students  we  are  all  aware  how  common  and  arguably  socially  acceptable  downloading  is  but  at  the  same  time  we  know  it  is  illegal.   None  of  us  would  steal  a  CD  from  a  shop  but  somehow  it  doesn’t  seem  so  morally  wrong  to  get  a Â ďŹ ve Â ďŹ nger  discount  online;Íž  it’s  intangible  and  guiltless.   In  the  last  two  years  15,  519  Americans  faced  civil  lawsuits  over Â ďŹ le  sharing  copyright  crimes  prosecuted  by  the  International  Federation  of  the  Phonographic  Industry  (IFPI).   The  IFTP  have  targeted  users  of  P2P  networks  including  Gnutella,  eDonkey,  Bit-­ Torrent,  WinMx  and  SoulSeek.   Similarly  £140,  000  has  already  been  coughed  up  by  96  prosecuted  British  BitTorrent  buffs.   It  hardly  seems  fair  to  target  the  “little  manâ€?  in  such  an  extreme  way  when  the  actual Â ďŹ le  sharing  sites  are  getting  off  so  lightly.   Napster,  and  many  high  proďŹ le  BitTorrent  sites  had  previously  been  targeted  by  the Â ďŹ lm  industry  for  providing  copyrighted Â ďŹ lms  without  obligation  to  the  public  but  the  majority  of  sites  now  only  operate  an  intermediate  ground  where  the  standard Â ďŹ le  sharing  software  is  completely  legal.

When  it  comes  down  to  it  the  balance  between  a  hefty,  but  slight-­ ly  unlikely, Â ďŹ ne  to  the  opportunities  of  downloading  is  not  that  concerning.   Some  of  you  campus  dwellers  may  have  already Â ďŹ gured  out  that  little  way  of  freely  downloading  music  off  iTunes  but  aside  from  this  any  P2P  sharing  will  have  you  cut  from  the  network  immediately  and  leave  you  facing  a  reconnection  charge.   The  music  and Â ďŹ lm  industries  too  are  doing  all  they  can  to  deter  people  from Â ďŹ le  sharing.   They  are  saying  that  it  doesn’t  matter  if  you  download  30Gb  to  distribute  or  whether  you  download  just  a  couple  of  songs  to  test  out  a  new  band,  everyone  is  vulnerable  to  liability  however  remote  it  may  seem. $IBSMFT 3VNTFZ

16

Event The

form  a  human  drum  kit,  which  is  played  very  skilfully  by  their  drummer.  Then  the  night  takes  a  sour  note  when  the  crowd  are  ‘treated’  to  Jimmy  Pop  mounting  an  ampliďŹ er  and  re-­ vealing  his  arse  to  the  crowd  only  for  brick  shit-­house  bass-­ ist  Jared,  possibly  the  least  talented  professional  musician  since  Bez,  to  vomit  down  his  arse  crack  (after  beer-­bonging  a  bottle  of  Jagermeister!).  If  that  wasn’t  disturbing  enough,  he  then  throws  up  into  Pop’s  open  mouth.  Some  of  the  crowd  love  it;Íž  others  look  very  ill.  The  band Â ďŹ nishes  with  their  signature  tune  ‘Bad  touch’,  and  stumble  off  stage.     All  in  all  a  fun  gig.  Doubt  anybody  went  for  a  kebab  after-­ wards  though.

"OESFX 3JMFZ

Live  Gigs Mylo  -$3

Mylo  was  the  soundtrack  to  many  a  summer  this  year.  On  the  Outside,  whether  this  was  dripping  with  traditional  Eng-­ lish  showers  or  reigning  with  blistering  heat,  inside,  and  out  of  the  speakers  ‘Destroy  Rock  and  Roll’  supplied  a  perfected  selection  of  sunshine  rays.  So  their  debut  at  UEA,  amidst  the  scathing  of  autumn,  promised  to  be  a  joyous  deliverance  back  to  the  warmth  of  summer.

The  audience  encompassed  a  chocolate  box  selection  of  characters,  with  only  a  handful  of  teenagers,  switching  the  lime-­light  onto  the  ageing,  high-­spirited  rave  go-­ers  of  the  90s,  desperately  clinging  to  the  thumping  bass  and  their  dazed  and  eclectic  dance  moves.  Sadly,  fond  hopes  for  a  busting  of  ‘big  box  little  box’  were  not  fulďŹ lled  and  there  was  not  one  glow  stick  in  sight!

But,  Mylo  gratefully  managed  to  feed  all  those  hungry  buzz-­

Skin Â

ing  souls  with  a  wholesome  meal  of  delectable  tunes.  ‘Drop  the  Pressure’  roared  and  charged  at  every  open  ear,  edging  the  crowd  into  gushing  raptures  of  heart  swelling  apprecia-­ tion,  as  all  bounced  and  jostled  to  the  glittering  exhilarat-­ ing  haven  of  illustrious  beats.  ‘In  your  arms’  tipped  all  faces  into  a  broad  elated  grin,  voices  gleefully  sung  out  and  bod-­ ies  blindly  swayed  and  fumbled  with  dance.  And  ‘Valley  of  Dolls’  gloriously  rallied  a  wave  of  affection.  The  music  was  perfection,  but  Mylo  held  no  real  stage  presence,  it  was  just  as  crisp  as  playing  the  album  in  your  bedroom.  There  was  unfortunately  no  spark;Íž  however  support  act  Filthy  Dukes  created  enviously Â ďŹ ery  vitality  on  stage.  Mylo  set  an  electric  scene  but  only  the  audience Â ďŹ lled  it  with  vibrancy. &MMFZ 5BZMPS

-$3 The Â ďŹ rst  night  of  Skin’s  UK  tour.  A  strangely  sparse  crowd.  The  Waterfront’s  humble  stage,  and  a  performance  almost  too  big  for  it  to  contain.  The  night  began  well  as  the  club  pro-­ vided  a  warm  haven  from  the  November  night.  But  it  wasn’t  just  warm  –  it  was  hot.  And  it  was  intense.  The  support  act  Make  Good  Your  Escape  played  boldly  and  smoothly.  It  was  Keane  meets  angry  guitars,  and  they  just  got  better  the  more  they  played.  Maybe  there  was  even  a  System  of  a  Down-­ esque  drum  solo  in  there  somewhere‌  The  crowd  respond-­ ed  well  and  you  could  tell  they  didn’t  want  to  leave  the  stage,  but  leave  they  must.  Because  Skin  was  there  and  she  wanted  to  be  heard.  From  the  start  of  her  set  she  ensured  that  she  was  in  control.  No  warm-­up,  no  chatting  to  the  crowd,  just Â

straight  into  what  she  likes  to  term  as  “clit  rockâ€?.  There  are  inuences  of  punk,  rock,  reggae,  metal  but  her  style  is  en-­ tirely  her  own.  She  bounced,  jittered,  and  coquetted  her  way  around  the  stage,  matching  and  raising  the  energy  in  the  room  with  songs  from  her  new  album  Fake  Chemical  State  (March  2006).  Skunk  Anansie  fans  weren’t  disappointed  ei-­ ther  as  she  played  such  classics  as  Selling  Jesus,  Hedonism  and  a  particularly  beautiful  rendition  of  Weak,  just  the  way  we  remembered  them  –  raw,  yet  melodic,  charged  yet  moving.  When  she  left  the  stage  people  screamed  for  an  encore  that  she  wasn’t  going  to  give,  knowing  that  she’d  left  a  crowd  begging  for  more,  but  satisďŹ ed  all  the  same. &NNB +PIOTUPO

Music

Singles (PSJMMB[ %JSUZ )BSSZ

It’s  been  a  busy  year  for  Damon  Albarn’s  animated  four-­piece  –  following  a  second  album  that  has  so  far  sold  4  million  copies  worldwide,  two  singles  that  peaked  at  num-­ bers  one  and  two  and  a  sell-­out Â ďŹ ve  night  residency  at  the  Manchester  Opera  House,  Gorillaz  are  releasing  the  third  single  from  ‘Demon  Days’.  ‘Dirty  Harry’  is  based  around  a  simple  chorus  sung  by  Albarn  and  a  chil-­ dren’s  choir;Íž  it’s  quite  sinister  hearing  kids  singing  about  how  they  need  a  gun.  The  track  then  explodes  into  bass-­heavy  funk,  with  keyboards  playing  the  melody  and  Al-­ barn  yelping  in  his  trademark  falsetto  over  the  top.  This  pattern  of  chorus  with  very  few  instruments  then  all-­guns-­blazing  funk  con-­ tinues  before  a  complete  change  in  direction  for  the  song,  as  Bootie  Brown  of  LA  combo  The  Pharcyde  suddenly  appears  and  raps  over  a  simple  drum  and  bass  beat,  which  melts  back  seamlessly  into  the  main  tune  afterwards.  All  these  different  elements  of  the  song  come  together  surprisingly  well;Íž  the  chorus  is  guaranteed  to  get  stuck  in  your  head!  Coupled  with  another  brilliant  and  original  video  (this  time  set  in  a  desert  and  conveying  the  track’s  political  message  very  well),  ‘Dirty  Harry’  is  a  fantastic  way  for  2D,  Murdoc,  Russel  and  Noodle  to  end  the  year  of  their  triumphant  return. $ISJT )ZEF

%BWJE (SBZ )PTQJUBM 'PPE

Hospital  Food  is  an  upbeat  track,  a  rally  against  the  force  feeding  of  every  day  me-­ dia  nourishment.  “Tell  me  something  i  dont  already  know�  Gray  croons  in  his  discreet  yet  touching  vocal  style  but  those  fans  who  might  have  been  seeking  a  change  of  direc-­ tion  may  now  be  saying  the  same  thing.   He  had  never  promised  an  evolution  in  musical  character  so  those  familiar  piano  chords  and  sparkles  of  woodwind  are  no  great  surprise  but  welcome  all  the  same  in  a  bizarre  famili-­ arity  that  even  the  ignorant  would  warm  to.   The  track  does  go  so  far  as  to  introduce  a  brighter,  even  cheesy  keyboard  intro,  a  trait  of  the  80s  as  is  ever  becoing  a  mainstream  vogue.   In  tune  with  the  rest  of  his  album,  and  indeed  all  his  albums  before  that,  Hos-­ pital  food  is  a  soul  search,  a  song  of  emotion  which  doesnt  suck  you  in  but  instead  lets  you  follow  his  narrative  as  an  onlooker. $POTUB[ .BHF

# $ $BNQMJHIU $PVMEO U :PV 5FMM

Brian  Christinzio  is  a  one  man  band,  the  American  Badly  Drawn  Boy.   He  provides  us  with  sunny  tunes  with  piano  backing  but  this  is  by  no  means  written  for  radio  pop,  Couldn’t  You  Tell  is  a  subtle  and  in-­ telligent  blend  of  melody  and  lyrical  pleas-­ antries.   Rural  music  like  something  from  a  fairy  tale.   The  focus  is  heavily  on  creativ-­ ity  and  it  therefore  becomes  hard  to  take  it  completely  seriously,  songs  of  lullabies  and  clown  stories  are  just  too  innocent  to Â ďŹ t  comfortably  into  the  indie  scene  which  they  are  designed  for,  however  snug  it  sounds.   Remind  yourself  that  there  is  a  real  world Â

and  the  journey  down  the  Mississipi  on  a  wooden  raft  will  soon  be  forgotten.   Its  nice  that  a  musician  can  afford  to  be  so  honest  when  they  write  lyrics  of  life  and  love  with-­ out  ulterior  motives  of  self  promotion  and  it’s  this  blissful  ignorance  of  Couldn’t  You  Tell  which  makes  it  special.   Such  a  subtle  contribution  to  the  music  industry  is  likely  to  make  very  little  impact  but  in  his  own  way  Brian  Christinzio  has  made  his  mark. .JB #VUSFFLT

)BSE 'J $BTI .BDIJOF

Nominated  for  the  Mercury  Award  having  made  their  ludicrously  titled  album,  Stars  of  CCTV,  in  a  taxi  ofďŹ ce  for  just  £300,  Hard  Fi  have  been  heralded  as  pioneers  in  the  devel-­ opment  of  new  hybrids,  namely  the  combi-­ nation  of  punk  and  reggae,  and  as  the  rough  diamonds  with  empty  pockets,  full  to  the  brim  with  cultural  signiďŹ cance.  Re-­release  Cash  Machine  shows  more  urban  respon-­ siveness,  explained  by  inuences  such  as  Massive  Attack  and  The  Specials,  than  their  more  successful  singles  to  date;Íž  throwaway  pop  tunes  about  nightclubs.  However,  it  seems  the  incorporation  of  different  genres,   leads  to  an  adoption  of  utterly  ridiculous  lyricism:  “I  wonder  if  I’ll  ever  gets  to  where  I  wants  to  be.â€?  Frontman  Richard  Archer  lacks  the  vocal  attitude  of  Alex  Turner  or  Liam  Gal-­ lagher,  which  invariably  deďŹ nes  this  genre  of  music.  In  the  words  of  that  Monkey  from  ShefďŹ eld,  “Don’t  believe  the  hype.â€? ,FMWJO ,OJHIU

"SFB

5IF 'VUVSFIFBET

With  The  Monkeys  causing  riots  on  the  ra-­ dio  and  The  Kaisers  storming  foreign  shores, Â

its  easy  to  forget  about  the  eccentric,  quirky,  originality  of  The  Futureheads.  No  worries  though,  Area  shoves  them  right  back  into  the  forefront;Íž  an  emphatic  two  and  a  half  minute  reminder  of  these  lads  ability  to  construct  a  awless  pop/art-­rock  anthem.  Paranoid  lyr-­ ics  ranting  on  about  security  issues  initially  doesn’t  sound  like  the  greatest  of  ideas  but  hell,  it  works,  gloriously  at  that.  After  all,  this  is  the  band  that  rehashed  a  Kate  Bush  number,  and  in  turn,  possibly  created  the  in-­ die-­rock  anthem  of  the  year.  Area  is  a  sharp,  jagged,  tuneful,  guitar  driven,  21st  century  anthem,  encapsulating  everything  that  you d  want  from  a  contemporary  pop-­rock  song,  and  then  some  more.  From  the  sing-­along  opening,  to  the  quirky  rants  and  raves  “you  have  to  buy  an  alarm,  because  lasers  pick  up  move-­ ments  in  the  dark,â€?  it  becomes  so  very  hard  not  to  enjoy.  The  lyric  “Your  area  is  in  ruinâ€?  may  not  go  down  so  well  in  certain  parts  of  the  world  right  now,  but  these  fellas  mean  no  harm.  The  only  intention  here  is  effort-­ less  thrills,  courtesy  of  a  band  at  the  peak  of  their  game.  (SFH 4VMMJWBO

,JOH $SFPTPUF #PPUQSJOUT

King  Creosote  has  been  recently  undertak-­ ing  his Â ďŹ rst  headline  tour,  having  supported  many  acts  from  Domino’s  (home  to  Franz  Ferdinand)  roster.  At  once  jaunty  and  dead-­ pan,  “Bootprintsâ€?  is  a  slightly  skife  style  shufe  that  acts  as  a  gently  sarcastic  ditty  to  lure  one’s  grumpy  self  out  of  bed  in  the  always  too  early  morning.  The  nicely  scan-­ ning  rhyming  of  the  verse  tells  us,  “We  love  ourselves  to  death/But  weekly  we’ve  got  re-­ gretsâ€?  referring  to  the  traditional  weekly  night  out  watching,  “Girl’s  skirts/hitched  beyond Â

a  decent  height.â€?  The  verse  then  ascends  a  couple  of  keys  into  a   chorus  of  humming  organs  and  a  yearning  vocal.  A  quick  toot  of  brass  then  settles  into  to  a  nice  “Female  of  the  Speciesâ€?  style  xylophone  solo.  Xylo-­ phone  solos  are  not  to  be  sniffed  at  really,  are  they?  Whatever,  “Bootprintsâ€?  is  a  charm-­ ing,  uniquely  British  slice  of  eccentric  pop,  reminiscent  of  a  Mull  Historical  Society,  Ed  Harcourt  or  a  leftďŹ eld  Kaiser  Chiefs  lacking  a  keyboardist  with  a  silly  hat.  Hot  Chip’s  remix  starts  off  twinkling  and  slightly  orchestral  before  switching  to  a  Fischerspooner-­esque  groove  of  modestly  interesting  proportions.  The  remix  is  a  rather  cheap  b-­side,  but  at  least,  less  skinint  than  many  others.

"MFY $BMEXFMM

5PXFST PG -POEPO )PX 3VEF 4IF 8BT Â

 The  towers  of  London  are  renowned  for  their  infamous  live  shows,  big  hair  and  big  atti-­ tude.  One  thing  that  the  Towers  of  London  aren’t  known  for  is  their  tunes  or  originality.  Their  brand  of  music  has  been  described  as  mock-­rock,  hair-­rock,  and  poodle  rock.  Their  sound  is  reminiscent  of  an  under  par  Motley  Cru  tribute  band  or  a  butch  version  of  the  New  York  Dolls  i.e.  without  the  Dolls  kitsch  charm. “How  rude  she  was,  but  lucky  for  me  it  was  light  entertainmentâ€?  yelps  Dirk  Tourette  dur-­ ing  the  chorus  of  the  title  track.  It’s  hardly  Coleridge.  Listening  to  the  Towers  of  Lon-­ don’s  new  release  is  anything  but  light  en-­ tertainment  and  the  urge  to  press  skip  on  the  hi-Â­ďŹ Â was  almost  overriding  particularly  during  the  Guns’n’Roses  style  guitar  solo  which  comes  around  the  3  minute  mark  of  the  song.  Towers  of  London  are  so  frequently  riled  by  the  mainstream  indie  press  and  lis-­ tening  to  this  release  it  is  easy  to  see  why.   This  is  an  anthem  to  London  hipsters  who  go  “boozing  at  Kokoâ€?  in  Camden  town.  Per-­ haps  these  are  the  people  who  buy  Towers  of  London’s  records.  If  you’re  a  fan  of  80s  in-­ uenced  music  you’d  be  well  advised  to  buy  the  Futureheads  single  and  stay  well  away  from  this  8JMM )PMMPXBZ

Event 17 The

Film

Main  Feature

Flightplan

%JS 3PCFSU 4DIXFOULF 3FMFBTF %BUF

Following  on  the  heels  of  the  Wes  Craven-­directed  Red  Eye  comes  another  aeroplane-­based  thriller,  Flightplan,  star-­ ring  Jodie  Foster  as  aeronautical  engineer  Kyle  Pratt,  whose  life  has  been  shattered  by  the  recent  death  of  her  husband.  With  her  mental  state  in  shreds,  she  makes  the  decision  to  ship  the  body  of  her  dead  husband  back  to  New  York  on  the  same  plane  as  herself  and  daughter  Julia.  As  she Â ďŹ nalises  her  plans,  she  is  aware  of  being  followed  at  every  turn  by  malicious,  shadowy Â ďŹ gures.  Once  safely  boarded,  mother  and  daughter  curl  up  on  the  back  row  of  the  aeroplane  (one  which  Kyle,  predictably,  helped  to  build)  but  when  Kyle  wakes  up,  her  daughter  has  vanished. Â

Embarking  on  a  series  of  agonising  and  increasingly  hysterical  searches  for  her  daughter  only  serves  to  antago-­ nise  the  crew  until,  after  a  number  of  investigations  it  is  revealed  that  there  is  no  record  of  Kyle’s  daughter  ever  hav-­ ing  boarded.  The  desperate  Kyle  refuses  to  accept  such  ap-­ parently  awed  information,  even  after  a  thorough  check  of  the  whole  plane  has  been  instigated  with  no  resultant  appearance  of  a  little  girl.  Suddenly  it  appears  that  Julia  is  just  a Â ďŹ gment  of  the  traumatised  Kyle’s  imagination.  Could  she  really  have  died  alongside  her  father  in  his  tragic  ac-­ cident?  With  sedation,  Kyle Â ďŹ nally  accepts  the  fact  that  she  has  been  hanging  on  to  the  memory  of  her  dead  daughter Â

for  too  long,  that  it  is  time  to  let  her  go‌or  is  it?  This Â ďŹ lm,  directed  by  German-­born  Robert  Schwentke,  seems  to  aspire  to  be  a  lot  more  than  it  is,  which  is,  despite  its  A-­list  cast,  a  very  high-­budget  B-­Movie.  Try  and  imagine  sustaining  the  tension  in  a  thriller  based  almost  entirely  on  an  aeroplane  and  revolving  around  one  woman’s  search  for  her  missing  child.  Exactly.  It  is  frankly  impossible  -­  even  if  you  do  add  some  big  explosions,  quite  a  lot  of  screaming,  saying  of  prayers  and  the  bludgeoning  of  people  around  the  head  with  helpfully  to  hand  implements.  Yes,  one  is  initially  sucked  in  by  Jodie’s  impassioned  pleas  for  help  from  fellow  passengers  and  even  by  the  idea  that  she  might  be  suffer-­ ing  from  delusions,  but  for  two  hours?  Despite  the  fact  that  Schwentke  offers  up  myriad  theories  as  to  what  is  really  go-­ ing  on  (such  as  terrorist  conspiracy)  this Â ďŹ lm  still  ounders  in  predictability.  The  end  result  being  that  you  have  a Â ďŹ lm  that  has  been  over-­hyped  and  really  does  not  warrant  the  vast  amounts  of  money  that  must  have  been  ploughed  into  its  –  admittedly  very  impressive  –  aeroplane  set.  However,  this  is  not  the  fault  of  the  cast,  who  cope  manfully  with  the  ill-­conceived  script;Íž  and  Jodie  Foster’s  performance  is  certainly  beyond  reproach.  Cast  in  a  similar  role  to  that  of  2002’s  Panic  Room  in  which  she  also  had  to  delve  into  cramped  spaces  and  launch  herself  at  practi-­ cally  everyone  in  sight,  she  is  certainly  persuasive  as  the  distraught  Kyle  and  is  clearly  committed  to  the  role.  As  an  exploration  of  the  art  of  persuasion  it  certainly  poses  some  interesting  questions  about  the  fragility  of  human  convic-­ tion,  but  this  is  really  not  enough  to  maintain  the  interest  of  an  audience.  As  a  fairly  vacuous  thriller,  Flightplan  is  certainly  passable,  but  is  without  a  doubt  unworthy  of  its  self-­created  publicity. )FOSJFUUB #VSHFTT

Five  Great:  Rock  Star  Performances A  cluster  of  recent  biopics  and  documenta-­ ries  have  made  efforts  to  chart  the  lives  of  various  rock  legends,  with  varying  degrees  of  success  (Scorsese’s  Dylan Â ďŹ lm  No  Direction  Home  was  a  pearl;Íž  recent  Brian  Jones  biopic  Stoned,  is  a  more  uneven  affair).  But  what  of  the  real-­life  rock  folk  who  have  turned  their  hands  to Â ďŹ ction Â ďŹ lm  acting?  The  misďŹ res  are  too  many  to  count  of  course,  but  here  are Â ďŹ ve  performances  that  hit  all  the  right  notes.   5PN 8BJUT 4IPSU $VUT Something  of  a  regular  on  the  1980s  and  90s  indie  scene,  growly  avant-­garde  musi-­ cian  Tom  Waits  did  his  best  work  with  Jim  Jarmusch  in  Down  by  Law,  and  here  in  Rob-­ ert  Altman’s  multistrand  masterpiece  Short  Cuts.  A  down-­on-­his-­luck,  boozy  loser,  Wait’s  exquisitely  drawn  Earl  Piggot  is  nevertheless  a  joy  to  watch,  and  his  ludicrous  Hawaiian  boogie  with  Lily  Tomlin  is  one  of  the Â ďŹ lm’s  brightest  highlights.     Â

18

Event The

%FCPSBI )BSSZ 7JEFPESPNF New  wave  pop  icon  Debbie  Harry  dives  into  a  hellish  world  of  snuff  TV,  corporate  cor-­ ruption,  and  S&M  in  David  Cronenberg’s  cult  psycho-­thriller.  Playing  a  character  split  between  the  real  world  and  protagonist  Max  Renn’s  fevered  hallucinations,  Harry  shim-­ mers  with  sexual  menace,  a  noir-­ish  centre  of  knowledge  and  potential  danger.  She  doesn’t  put  a  foot  wrong,  and  the  famous  scene  where  Harry  stubs  out  a  cigarette  on  her  own  breast  capitalises  on  the  singer’s  glassy  pop-­star  image  to  breathtaking  effect.   %BWJE #PXJF 5IF .BO 8IP 'FMM UP &BSUI British  director  Nicolas  Roeg  had  already  harnessed  the  swaggering  charisma  of  Mick  Jagger  in  Performance  (1970),  and  The  Man  Who  Fell  to  Earth  sees  him  extract  a  similarly  marvellous  performance  from  David  Bowie  (right).  Of  course,  Bowie  was  no  stranger  to Â

the  idea  of  a  persona,  having  essayed  space  rock  god  ‘Ziggy’  and  ‘The  Thin  White  Duke’  on  the  music  stage,  but  his Â ďŹ rst  feature Â ďŹ lm  was  something  different.  As  the  ghostly  pale  starman  who  arrives  on  earth,  only  to  crum-­ ple  under  an  excess  of  alcohol,  TV,  and  sex,  Bowie  glides  through  Roeg’s  dazzling  world  of  pain  and  corruption  with  perfect  other-­ worldly  anguish. #KPSL %BODFS JO UIF %BSL Bjork’s  turn  as  Selma  in  Lars  von  Trier’s Â ďŹ lm  is  for  many  an  impossible  thing  to  watch,  despite  the  euphoric  song-­and-­dance  mo-­ ments.  Certainly  she  faces  an  unrelenting  succession  of  disappointments,  betrayals,  and  losses  made  the  more  heart-­rending  by  Bjork’s  vulnerable  performance.  But  there  are  ashes  of  the  bizarre  elďŹ n  charm  that  powers  the  singer’s  music,  and  her  commitment  to  the  depiction  of  Selma’s  gradual,  tragic  an-­ nihilation  is  nothing  short  of  astounding. Â

&NJOFN .JMF Eminem  has  always  slipped  through  a  varie-­ ty  of  personae  with  an  ease  and  glee  that  en-­ sures  he  remains  both  hard  to  pin  down  and  constantly  primed  for  provoking  outrage.  His  character  in  Curtis  Hanson’s  8  Mile  is  perhaps  the  most  startling  act  of  them  all  –  a  rapper  and  a  father  (here  by  default)  as  usual,  but  now  with  the  toxic  antagonism  re-­ placed  by  a  rueful,  inward  quality.  Not  that  Jimmy  ‘B-­Rabbit’  Smith  lacks  grit,  and  the  rap  ‘battles’  as  performed  by  Eminem  are  genuinely  exhilarating.        4FC .BOMFZ

A  New  Hollywood?

Film

5IF GPSUIDPNJOH .BSDI PG UIF 1FOHVJOT JT UIF MBUFTU JO B MJOF PG IJHI QSPmMF mMN EPDVNFOUB SJFT UP HFOFSBUF CMPDLCVTUFS TJ[F BVEJFODFT "SF XF PO UIF DVTQ PG WJFXJOH SFWPMVUJPO UIBU XJMM UPQQMF )PMMZXPPE T BDUJPO TUSPOHIPME PS JT JU TPPO UP CVSO PVU #FDLZ 3VUU UIJOLT JU PWFS

D

ocumentary Â ďŹ lm  may  once  have  been  classiďŹ ed  as  bor-­ ing  and  more  for  the  older  generation  but  as Â ďŹ lms  like  the  recent  March  of  the  Pen-­ guins  line  up  for  Oscar  nominations  it  is  be-­ ing  seen  under  a  new  light.  In  the  past  few  years  documentary Â ďŹ lm  has  reached  new  heights,  taking  over  the  ever  popular  Hol-­ lywood Â ďŹ ctional  movies.  By  looking  at  sev-­ eral  recent Â ďŹ lms  I  am  trying  to Â ďŹ nd  out  why  this  is  the  case.  Is  the  public  so  numbed  by  big  blockbusters  that  what  they  now  crave  are Â ďŹ lms  that  explore  the  truth  about  the  world  around  them?  Or  is  it  our  obsession  with  reality  TV  that  impels  us  to  watch  these Â ďŹ lms,  hoping  to  fulďŹ l  our  voyeuristic  nature?  Whatever  the  case,  documentary Â ďŹ lm  is  huge  right  now  and  audiences  cannot  get  enough  of  it;Íž  whether  it  portrays  reality  or Â ďŹ ction  it  has  certainly  caught  the  public’s  eye.

Controversy  comes  hand  in  hand  with  most  documentary Â ďŹ lms,  especially  those  directed  by  names  like  Michael  Moore  and  Morgan  Spurlock.  The  new  age  of  anti-­ American  attitudes  is  reected  in  these Â ďŹ lms  and  sees  a  direct  attack  on  the  United  States  not  seen  in  mainstream  cinema  be-­ fore.  Recent  events  in  America  have  seen  a  wave  of  discontent  around  the  world  and Â ďŹ lms  like  Fahrenheit  9/11  and  Supersize  Me  attempt  to  discover  the  truth  behind  these  thoughts.  Bowling  for  Columbine,  the Â ďŹ lm  that Â ďŹ rst  brought  Michael  Moore  into  the  public  eye  in  2001,  grabbed  headlines  around  the  world  and  several  awards.  It  has  been  credited  with  making  the  documentary Â ďŹ lm  a  populist  proposal  once  more.  It  has  also  been  criticised  for  being  a  single  man’s  viewpoint,  and  for  being  polemic,  where  the  facts  are  distorted  to Â ďŹ t  the  thesis  –  rather  than  documentary,  where,  supposedly,  the  facts  are  explored  to  arrive  at  a  thesis.  Fahr-­ enheit  9/11  faced  similar  criticisms  but  they  did  not  stop  ratings  at  the  box  ofďŹ ce.  These Â ďŹ lms  are  popular  because  people  want  to  know  more  about  America;Íž  however  they  are  only  the  directors’  view  of  America  and  have  been  criticized  for  portraying  a  false  reality.

A  documentary  is  deďŹ ned  as  ‘the  creative  treatment  of  actuality’  and  more  and  more  audiences  are  choosing  to  watch  this  rather  than Â ďŹ ctional  movies.   Recent  documenta-­ ries  have  used  methods  of  entertainment  in  their Â ďŹ lms  to  make  them  more  appealing  to  audiences  and  this  has  worked.  March  of  the  Penguins,  which  is  due  out  in  the  UK  in  early  December,  sees  Morgan  Freeman  narrating.  He  is  a  well  known  actor  and  has  helped  the  French Â ďŹ lm’s  success  because  audiences  who  are  already  fans  of  Free-­ man  will  be  encouraged  to  see  the Â ďŹ lm.  The  March  of  the  Penguins,  Luc  Jacquet’s  gentle  documentary  about  the  grueling  Antarctic  migration  of  the  emperor  penguin  is  set  to Â

reach  new  heights  at  the  Oscars  this  year.  It  has  been  a  huge  success Â ďŹ rst  in  France  and  more  importantly  in  America.   The  new Â ďŹ lm  is  a  breakthrough  for  documentary Â ďŹ lm  as  it  is  probably  the Â ďŹ rst  nature  documentary  to  reach  the  big  screen.   ‘In  the  harshest  place  love Â ďŹ nds  a  way’  is  the  tagline  for  the Â ďŹ lm  that  promises  to  be  more  exciting  and  more Â

*T UIF QVCMJD TP OVNCFE CZ CJH CMPDLCVTUFST UIBU UIFZ OPX DSBWF mMNT UIBU FYQMPSF UIF USVUI PG UIF XPSME BSPVOE UIFN romantic  than  any  other Â ďŹ lm  this  year.  The  popularity  of  the Â ďŹ lm  is  due  it  seems  to  the  fact  that  it  is  different  from  the  usual  Hol-­

lywood  generated Â ďŹ lm;Íž  and  audiences  seem  now  to  be  asking  for  more  than  that.  Documentary Â ďŹ lm  is  popular  because  it  portrays  reality  to  an  audience  and  allows  people  to  make  their  real  life  heroes  and  heroines  from  the Â ďŹ lm.  Even  though  it  does  use  reality  it  is  not  to  be  mistaken  for  reality.  Each  documentary Â ďŹ lm  sees  the  portrayal  of  reality  through  the  director’s  eye.  Mor-­ gan  Spurlock’s  recent  30  Days  has  become  popular  because  it  is  controversial  and  en-­ tertaining.  It  is  reality  TV  but  in  a  documen-­ tary  style.  The  recent Â ďŹ lm  documentary  Touching  the  Void  saw  huge  success  also  and  placed  highly  in  Channel  4’s  recent  Top  50  Docu-­ mentaries.  The Â ďŹ lm  follows  the  real  life  story  of  two  young  climbers  as  their  journey  goes  horribly  wrong.  The  re-­enaction  is  very  true  to  life  but  also  provides  the  audience  with  nail  biting  action  every  second,  so  ensuring  its  success.  The  fact  that  the  story  was  so  true  to  life  made  it  even  more  popular  as  audiences  could  place  themselves  in  the  same  situation.  Murderball,  which  has  recently  come  out,  has  been  really  popular,  featuring Â ďŹ erce  rivalry,  stopwatch  suspense,  and  larger-­

than-­life  personalities.  Winner  of  the  Docu-­ mentary  Audience  Award  and  a  Special  Jury  Prize  for  Editing  at  the  2005  Sundance  Film  Festival,  Murderball  is  a Â ďŹ lm  about  tough,  highly  competitive  rugby  players.  From  the  gyms  of  middle-­America  to  the  Olympic  are-­ na  in  Athens,  Murderball  tells  the  story  of  a  group  of  world-­class  athletes  unlike  any  ever  shown  on  screen.  It  is  a  fast  action Â ďŹ lm  which  follows  the  life  of  a  real  group  of  disabled  athletes  who  fought  through  the  stereotypes  and  became  world  renowned  sportsmen.  This Â ďŹ lm  just  adds  to  the  popularity  of  documen-­ tary  and  supports  the  view  that  audiences  are  bored  with Â ďŹ ctional Â ďŹ lms.  With  March  of  The  Penguins  following  in  the  same  successes  as  Fahrenheit  9/11  in  the  Oscars,  it  seems  a  new  dawn  of Â ďŹ lm  has  be-­ gun.   Documentary Â ďŹ lm  is  seeing  success  as  it  never  has  before  and  the  ball  keeps  rolling.  Supersize  Me,  Touching  The  Void,  Murderball  and  March  of  the  Penguins  are  portrayals  of  reality  that  audiences  cannot  stop  watching.  The  numbers  at  the  box  ofďŹ ce  prove  their  suc-­ cess  and  it  seems  that  in  the  not  too  distant  future  our  love  of  hard  hitting  and  entertain-­ ing  documentary Â ďŹ lm  will  be  shown,  and  may  eradicate  our  need  for Â ďŹ ctional  Hollywood. Â

.BSDI PG UIF 1FOHVJOT

Event 19 The

Film

Funny  Business 4IBOF #MBDL T EJSFDUPSJBM EFCVU ,JTT ,JTT #BOH #BOH ESBXT PO FMFNFOUT PG mMN OPJS BOE UIF ACVEEZ BDUJPO mMN UP DSBGU B EFOTFMZ QMPUUFE UISJMMFS #VU UIF mMN XPSLT JUT CFTU NBHJD UISPVHI BO BVEBDJPVT NJY PG IJHI BOE MPX DPNFEZ TBZT 4FC .BOMFZ

A

bout  halfway  into  Shane  Black’s  Kiss  Kiss  Bang  Bang,  Robert  Downey  Jr  takes  up  the  voiceo-­ ver  mike,  and  asks  in  his  best  smooth,  rascally  tones  whether  ‘we’,  the Â ďŹ lmgoers,  have  solved  the  mystery  yet.  Well,  no  we  haven’t  –  and  the  thing’s  only  going  to  get  more  unsolvable  as  it  goes,  but  then  it’s  hard  to  stay  irritated  with  something  like  a  plot  –  however  labyrinthine  –  when  Mr  Downer  Jr  is  providing  not  only  an  audacious  meta-­voiceover,  but  also  a  steam  of  humor-­ ous,  foul-­mouthed  banter  (with  his  private  eye  partner  Perry  Van  Shrike),  and  a  series  of  absurd  slapstick  set-­pieces.  All  of  which  is  to  say,  Kiss  Kiss  Bang  Bang’s  chief  pleasures  are  comic,  and  the  comedy Â ďŹ nds  its  way  into  nearly  every  corner  of  the Â ďŹ lm.  On  release,  Black’s Â ďŹ lm  was  discussed  primarily  as  a  noir-­action  hybrid:  noir  because  of  the  murder  mystery  narrative,  the  voiceo-­ ver,  and  the  frequent  references  to  1940s  and  50s  noir  texts,  both Â ďŹ lm  and  literature  (Sunset  Boulevard,  Farwell  My  Lovely,  Brett  Halliday’s  hardboiled  1941  detective  novel  ‘Bodies  Are  Where  You  Find  Them’);Íž  action  because  of  the  central  ‘buddy’  pairing,  and  the  run  of Â ďŹ lms  Black  had  a  scripting  hand  in  during  the  1980s  and  90s,  including  Lethal  Weapon  (directed  by  Richard  Donner  in  1987),  The  Last  Boy  Scout  (directed  by  Tony  Scott,  1991),  and  Last  Action  Hero  (directed  by  John  McTiernan,  1993).  Kiss  Kiss  Bang  Bang,  his Â ďŹ rst Â ďŹ lm  as  director  and  his Â ďŹ rst  script  for  six  years,  is  something  of  a  comeback  for  Black  after  a  period  of  self-­con-­ fessed  creative  stasis,  and  though  it  does  draw  on  elements  of  the  earlier Â ďŹ lm  scripts,  it’s  also  clearly  a  more  personal  project  than  any  of  them.  As  an  auteur-­type  debut,  Kiss  Kiss  Bang Â

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Event The

Bang  has  understandably  been  persistently  linked  to  the  ‘serious’  concerns  of Â ďŹ lm  noir.  Black  himself  has  talked  in  interviews  about  the  moral  choices  that  the  characters  face  –  the  allure  of  a  ‘dark  side’  that  is  both  out  there  (in  LA)  and  in  here  (in  the  actions  and  thoughts  of  the  heroes).  But  the  moral  ambiguity  and  feverish  paranoia  that  suf-­ fuses  noirs  like  Out  of  the  Past  (1947)  and  The  Big  Sleep  (1946)  is  just  about  absent  here,  replaced  –  or  at  least  dispatched  to  the  shadows  –  by  a  intricate  mesh  of  comedic  strategies.  The  most  forceful  of  these  strategies  is  Harry’s  (Downey)  voiceover.  Playing  on  the  noir  convention  of  expressing  the  inter-­ nal  thoughts  and  feelings  of  the  (anti)hero  through  his  own  disembodied  murmurings,  Kiss  Kiss  Bang  Bang  has  its  protagonist  constantly  comment  on  both  the  current  situation  and  his  place  in  it.  Harry  goes  at Â

%PXOFZ T RVJDL TJMWFS QFSGPSNBODF DPNQBSFT GBWPVS BCMZ UP BO JO GPSN 8PPEZ "MMFO least  one  better  than  Bogart  though:  not  only  does  he  talk  about  what’s  going  on,  but  he  talks  about  the Â ďŹ lm  itself  as  an  artiďŹ -­ cial  world,  created  by  his  own  ‘story’.  In  one  early  scene,  for  example,  Harry  gets  in  a  bit  of  a  muddle  trying  to  narrate  a  back-­story  to Â

the  audience;Íž  his  solution  is  to  simply  spool  the Â ďŹ lm  backwards  and  rerun  some  earlier  footage  (complete  with  pencilled-­on  anno-­ tations:  ‘Me’,  ‘Harmony’,  ‘some  asshole’).  Near  the  end,  he  assures  us  ‘don’t  worry  –  I  saw  the  last  Lord  of  the  Rings.  I’m  not  going  to  end  this  17  times’,  before  playing  out  a  series  of  endings  –  less  than  17  –  that  conclude  with  Harry  at  a  desk  one  year  later,  talking  directly  to  the  audience  about  how  things  have  turned  out.  All  this  is  the  kind  of  clever-­clever  self-­referentiality  that  proved  the  downfall  of  Last  Action  Hero  of  course,  but  it  comes  off  here  thanks  to  newfound  lightness  of  touch  from  Black,  and  a  quick-­ silver  performance  from  Downey,  whose  mix  of  sincerity  and  winking  self-­awareness  compares  favourably  to  an  in-­form  Woody  Allen.  Black’s  script  too  owes  a  debt  to  Al-­ len,  a  director  who  moulded  the  ‘Brechtian’  distancing  devices  at  work  in  the  cinema  of  his  heroes  –  most  notably  Ingmar  Bergman  –  into  works  of  nervy  comedy  (witness  for  example  that  Black-­esque  moment  in  Annie  Hall  when  Alvy  conjures  up  Marshal  McLu-­ han  from  outside  of  the Â ďŹ lm  narrative  in  or-­ der  to  settle  an  argument  he’s  having  with  snobbish  professor).             Another,  less  highbrow  vein  of  com-­ edy  that  runs  through  Kiss  Kiss  Bang  Bang  combines  slapstick  (Chaplin,  Keaton,  Lloyd  et  al.)  with  a  penchant  for  absurd  ‘bad  taste’  gags,  as  pioneered  by  John  Waters  (Pink  Flamingos,  Hairspray)  and  since  reďŹ ned  into  more  palatable  forms  by  various  in-­ die  and  mainstream Â ďŹ lmmakers,  including  Brothers  Farrelly  and  Coen.  Almost  all  of  the  gags  in  Black’s Â ďŹ lm  revolve  around  pain  or  death  made  absurd  by  its  context.  The  worst Â

of  these  slip  into  juvenile  clichĂŠ,  as  when  Harry  is  made  to  endure  testicular  electro-­ torture;Íž  but  the  best  take  the  noir  hero  and  his  façade  of  cool  cynicism,  and  reinvest  him  with  everyday  feelings  of  embarrass-­ ment  and  powerlessness.  When  Harry,  mid-­ urination, Â ďŹ nds  a  body  in  his  bathroom,  and  in  a  state  of  shock  continues  to  relieve  him-­ self  over  the  corpse,  it’s  agonizingly  funny  –  but  also  an  arrestingly  realist  moment  of  human  weakness  in  a Â ďŹ lm  genre  (noir,  and  also  action)  traditionally  about  artiďŹ ce  and  fantasy.  The  idea  of  stock Â ďŹ lm  characters  –  like  detectives,  or  gangsters,  or  maverick  police  ofďŹ cers  –  walking  and  talking  like  ‘real-­life’  people,  with  trivial  conversations  and  con-­ stant  references  to  pop  culture,  is  now  a  common  source  of  humour  in  cinema.  Indie Â ďŹ lms  since  the  early  1990s  (Slacker  [Richard  Linklater,  1991],  Clerks  [Kevin  Smith,  1994])  have  often  made  this  their  chief  focus,  but  it  was  Tarantino  and  Pulp  Fiction  (1994)  that  set  up  casual  pop-­dialogue  in  the  main-­ stream.  The  verbal  humour  in  Kiss  Kiss  Bang  Bang  is  of  a  less  self-­conscious  variety  than  that  in  the  Tarantino  world,  and  there  is  certainly  nothing  as  grandstanding  as  Bill’s  famous  superhero  speech  in  Kill  Bill  Vol.  2  but  Black’s  characters  do  adopt  a  similarly  lively  approach  to  language.  The  quickest,  sharpest  stuff  is  the  rattled-­off  dialogue  be-­ tween  Harry  and  his  detective  partner  ‘Gay  Perry’  (Val  Kilmer):  ‘Look  up  idiot  in  the  dic-­ tionary’,  says  Perry,  after  Harry  throws  his  prize  gun  in  a  lake,  ‘you  know  what  you’ll Â ďŹ nd?’  ‘A  picture  of  me?’  hazards  Harry.  ‘No!  The  deďŹ nition  of  idiot.  Which  is  what  you  are!’  Although  the  love/hate  set  up  between  the  two  mismatched  heroes  is  quite  stand-­ ard  (and  a  staple  of  the  buddy  action  scripts  Black  has  worked  on),  the  dialogue  is  as  bright  as  a  button,  and  always  challenging  language  conventions  with  a  self-­aware  wit  and  invention.  Knowing  he  and  Harry  must  seem  like  a  law  enforcement  clichĂŠ  to  the  guy  they’re  interrogating,  Perry  sets  the  record  straight:  ‘This  isn’t  Good  Cop  Bad  Cop.  This  is  fag  and  New  Yorker,  and  you’re  in  a  lot  of  trouble.’    Kiss  Kiss  Bang  Bang  is  not  a  bona Â ďŹ de  comedy Â ďŹ lm,  and  it  does  make  gestures  at  generating  suspense,  weaving  plots,  and  probing  character  morality.  But  set  next  to  other  recent  noir  efforts  like  Sin  City  and  A  History  of  Violence,  it  comes  up  lacking  intensity;Íž  and  next  to  a  large-­scale  block-­ buster  like  War  of  the  Worlds  it  falls  short  on  breathless  action.  The  tagline  for  Kiss  Kiss  Bang  Bang  emphasises  sex  and  violence  re-­ gardless  of  course,  promising  ‘Sex.  Murder.  Mystery.’,  but  an  articulation  of  its  brilliant  wit  would  be  more  to  the  point.  Perhaps  the  promoters  are  saving  ‘Jokes.  Gags.  Self-­ref-­ erential  humour.’  for  the  DVD  release. Â

Film

Other  Screens 4UPOFE %JS 4UFQIFO 8PPMFZ 3FMFBTFE

)BSSZ 1PUUFS BOE UIF (PCMFU PG 'JSF %JS .JLF /FXFMM 3FMFBTFE

The  death  of  the  Rolling  Stones  enigmatic  guitarist  Brian  Jones  has  been  open  to  numerous  theories.  Stephen  Woo-­ ley’s  theory  is  the  result  of  ten  years  research  and  new  found  evidence  which  suggests  that  Jones  was  in  fact  murdered.  The Â ďŹ lm  focuses  on  the  three  months  leading  up  to  his  death,  yet  at  the  same  time  is  interspersed  with  ash-­backs  throughout  Jones’s  life.  The  ash-­backs  are  an  absolute  stun-­ ning  homage  to  the  1960’s  sex  and  drug  culture  that  the  band  was  immersed  in.  These  scenes  are Â ďŹ lmed  with  affectionate  nostalgia,  incorporating  the  quality  of  1960’s  cinematography  along  with  brilliant  set  designs  and  costumes.  Some  of  these  come  close  to  feeling  like  authentic  footage  and  successfully  encapsulate  the  attractiveness  of  the  era.  Throughout  the Â ďŹ lm  the  ashbacks  become  increasingly  sordid  and  perverse  but  never  without  losing  this  sumptuous  sheen.

Leo  Gregory’s  portrayal  of  Jones  is,  at  times,  compelling  and  he  conveys  an  innocence  and  vulnerability  in  Jones  that  makes  him  endearing.  Wooley’s  view  of  Jones  is  clear  from  his  dealings  with  the Â ďŹ lm;Íž  we  are  encouraged  to  see  Jones  sympathetically  as  a  tragic  soul.  The  soundtrack  to  the Â ďŹ lm  provides  a  sexy  and  star-­studded  backdrop,  most  often  to  the  drug-­taking  scenes.  However,  the  musical  score  is  heavily  used  in  the  opening  scenes  of  the Â ďŹ lm,  bizarrely  becoming  more  prevalent  any  time  Gregory  is  on  screen.  It’s  as  if  Woo-­ ley  wanted  to  create  a  romantic,  mythical  creature  in  Jones  and  felt  that  the  only  way  to  do  was  to  add  a  owery  musical  score  that  is  only  distracting  from  the  action  of  the Â ďŹ lm.  Throughout  the Â ďŹ lm  there  is  a  constant  struggle  where  the Â ďŹ lm  teeters  on  the  line  of  clichĂŠd  sentimentality.  However  with  a  bit  of  full-­frontal  nudity  and  S&M  Wooley  tries  to  bal-­ ance  this  out.  Yet  the  surrealist  ending  ruins  the Â ďŹ lm  –  it’s  more  like  a  Sunday  night  ITV  drama  rather  than  a  “wild  and  wickedâ€?  rock  biopic.  This  battle  with  sentimentality  through-­ out  the Â ďŹ lm  is  hindered  by  the  script.  The  dialogue  of  all  the  characters  is  clunky  and  simple  and  is  not  helped  by  its  unin-­ spired  delivery.  The  quality  of  the  supporting  cast  is  varied;Íž  the  women  spend  the Â ďŹ lm  trying  to  be  topless  for  as  long  as  possible.  David  Morrissey  is  convincing  as  Stone’s  womanising  man-­ ager  Tom,  appearing  as  a  standard  of  reason  throughout  the Â ďŹ lm.  There  is  a  surprise  appearance  of  David  Walliams,  of  Lit-­ tle  Britain  fame,  who  is  believable  as  Stones Â ďŹ nancial  advisor  despite  his  huge  retro  glasses.  Visually  the Â ďŹ lm  is  stunning  and  sexy,  giving  an  attractive  quality  to  the  rock  n  roll  culture  of  the  60s.  However,  the  care-­ less  script  and  irrelevant  sentimentality  heaped  on  the Â ďŹ lm  spoils  it.  Unlike  the  characters,  this Â ďŹ lm  needs  an  injection  of  something  strong  so  that  the  dialogue  can  keep  up  at  the  pace  of  the  visuals  -­  maybe  then  we  would  have  a Â ďŹ lm  that  is  of  the  same  controversial  quality  that  made  the  Stones  a  success. $MBJSF $BSUFS

Harry  Potter  and  the  Goblet  of  Fire  is  the  fourth Â ďŹ lm  in  the  se-­ ries  and,  with  a  stellar  cast  and  the  excellent  direction  of  Mike  Newell,  it  outshines  all  expectations.  The  special  effects  are  absolutely  spectacular  and  your  jaw  will  drop  at  some  scenes,  such  as  the  huge  Quidditch  World  Cup  stadium  and  the Â ďŹ rst  challenge  of  the  Triwizard  tournament,  in  which  Harry  faces  an  enormous  dragon.  It  also  stays  faithful  to  the  book,  as  it  includes  all  the  key  scenes  and,  despite  some  alterations,  still  makes  sense  and  remains  the  tense  and  dramatic  story  that  J.K.  Rowling  wrote.  It  is  much  darker  than  the  previous Â ďŹ lms  and  some  segments,  such  as  the  action  packed  last  half  hour,  are  reason  enough  for  the  12A  certiďŹ cate.  It  is  possibly  the  best  Harry  Potter Â ďŹ lm  yet  and  sets  a  high  standard  for  the Â ďŹ fth Â ďŹ lm  to  surpass.  $ISJT )ZEF

Cinefile N o 62 .

Yojimbo

5IF $POTUBOU (BSEFOFS %JS 'FSOBOEP .FJSFMMFT 3FMFBTFE Compared  to  recent Â ďŹ lms  with  a  similar  subject  matter  (The  Interpreter,  Lord  of  War),  the  Constant  Gardener  embeds  its  political  morals  within  a  story  that  is  deeply  affecting,  without  resorting  to  any  Hollywoodisms  whatsoever.  The  ‘heroine’  is  murdered  in  the Â ďŹ rst  scene,  leaving  us  to  follow  a  retrospective  thriller  enshrouded  with  a  haunting  love  story,  as  her  husband  reluctantly  begins  to  uncover  a  disturbing  industry/govern-­ ment  cover-­up.  Weiz’s  character  is  one  of  those  outspoken,  educated  yet  emotionally  willful  and  morally  exible  women  who  is  fascinatingly  irritating,  and  she  is  partnered  enigmati-­ cally  with  Fiennes,  a  quietly  controlled  ‘gardener’  and  occa-­ sional  member  of  the  British  High  Commission.  Along  with  Bill  Nighy,  Danny  Huston  and  Pete  Postlethwaite  they  em-­ phasise  a  quintessential  Britishness  in  drama  –  an  unusual  gravitas  already  staged  by  the  controversial  subject  matter.  Fernando  Mierelles,  one-­time  director  of  City  of  God,  lends  a  similar  intense  reality  to  his  location,  making  it  a  character  in  its  own  right.  I  thought  the Â ďŹ lm  was  stunning. $MBJSF $BSUFS

.ST )FOEFSTPO 1SFTFOUT %JS 4UFQIFO 'SFBST 3FMFBTFE For  all  its  quality  personnel  –  Judi  Dench,  Bob  Hoskins,  Stephen  Frears  at  the  helm  –  Mrs  Henderson  Presents  is  an  underwhelming  experience,  weighted  down  by  a  script  of  wincingly  earnest  tributes  to  British  wartime  solidarity.  The  early  scenes  roll  along  nicely  enough,  with  Dench’s  amateur  theatre  manager  striking  up  an  affably  antagonistic  rapport  with  her  business  partner  (Hoskins)  as  they  go  about  intro-­ ducing  female  nudes  into  1930s  British  theatre.  But  the  social  implications  of  the  new  entertainment  get  a  heavy-­handed  treatment,  and  there  isn’t  enough  humour  to  compensate  –  although  Dench Â ďŹ lls  out  her  character  with  customary  zest.

4FC .BOMFZ

4P XIBU T JU BMM BCPVU Riddled  with  the  kind  of  action  you  would  expect  from  the  godfather  of  the  adventure Â ďŹ lm  (Spielberg  would  later  follow  in  Kurosawa’s  deeply  embedded  footprints),  Yojimbo  tells  the  story  of  a  wandering  samurai  (Toshiro  Mifune)  who Â ďŹ nds  himself  walking  in  on  a  town  violently  torn  between  two  rival-­ ling  clans  of  gamblers.  The  mysterious  intruder  takes  little  time  to  become  involved  in  the  action,  swaying  tactfully  be-­ tween  allegiances  in  an  attempt  to  get  rid  of  all  the  gamblers  by  any  means  possible. ,VSPTBXB BOE .JGVOF ,JOE PG MJLF #VSUPO BOE %FQQ Subsequent  to  our  two  favourite  connoisseurs  of  the  weird,  Kurosawa  and  Mifune  are  celebrated  as  perhaps  the  most  perfect  partnership  in  cinematic  history.  Unlike  Burton  and  Depp,  the  two’s  chemistry  goes  far  beyond  that  of  twisted  mise  en  scene  and  thematic  plots.  Like  many  of  Kurosawa’s  additional  pairings  with  Mifune,  Yojimbo  sees  both  perform-­ ance  and  direction  feeding  hungrily  from  one  another.  While  in  Seven  Samurai,  Mifune’s  frantic,  animated  performance  is  brought  to  life  through  Kurosawa’s  kinetic  cinematography,  Yojimbo’s  shots  remain  sturdy  and  powerful,  mirroring  the  sullen  yet  towering  energy  which  Mifune  constantly  ema-­ nates. #VU JU T BMM BCPVU PME PME +BQBO *T JU FBTZ UP VOEFSTUBOE XJUI PVU B IJTUPSZ MFTTPO While  it’s  well  worth  checking  out  the  bďŹ Â edition  for  the  excel-­ lent  commentary  from Â ďŹ lm  historian  Philip  Kemp  (he  gives  a  useful  historical  background  on  the Â ďŹ lm’s  setting),  the  main  themes  which  Kurosawa  illustrates  are  simple  human  rela-­ tionships  such  as  friendship,  honour,  love  and  hate;Íž  elements  which  are  just  as  relevant  in  today’s  age  of  fast-­paced  thrill-­ ers  and  blood-­splattered  crime,  and  ones  which  just  about  anyone  can  enjoy.  As  the  Sergio  Leone  remake  A  Fist  Full  of  Dollars  proved,  the  bare  essence  of  the  story  can  be  lifted  and  placed  in  any  setting  and  in  any  part  of  time  with  no  loss  of  the  excitement  and  energy  that  fuels  the  sheer  enjoyment  of  the  original.  *U T OPU BT XFMM LOPXO BT ,VSPTBXB T PUIFS FGGPSUT "OZ SFBTPO XIZ Well,  while  it’s  not  Kurosawa  at  his  pinnacle  of  prowess,  and  Mifune  is  certainly  a  far  throw  from  his  groundbreaking,  over-­ powering  performance  in  Red  Beard  (ironically  his Â ďŹ nal Â ďŹ lm  with  Kurosawa)  Yojimbo  nevertheless  stands  as  a  shining  ex-­ ample  of  what  such  a  perfect  collaboration  of  actor  and  direc-­ tor  can  achieve. &EEJF )PXBSUI

Event 21 The

Film

Special  Feature Millions

%JS %BOOZ #PZMF 3FMFBTFE CZ 1BUIF %JTUSJCVUJPO -UE

How  refreshing  is  it  to  a  see  a  British Â ďŹ lm  endorsed  by  the  BBC?  I  found  myself  feeling  quite  patriotic  in  a  time  when  most  mainstream Â ďŹ lms  seem  to  have  the  backing  from  one  Hollywood  company  or  another.  Millions  is  the  exciting  tale  of  how  two  young  brothers,  Damian  and  Anthony,  go  about  spending  money  after  a  fortunate  discovery  in  the  local Â ďŹ elds.  The  problem  is,  they  have  only  twelve  days  to  spend  the  money  as  England  is  about  to  convert  to  the  Euro  -­  distressing  I  know.

The  performances  of  the  youngsters  played  by  Alex  Etal  and  Lewis  McGibbon  far  outshine  their  elder  colleagues,  given  that  the  former  have  no  previous  experience.  Their  portrayal  of  childhood  innocence  constantly  evokes  sym-­ pathy  in  the  audience  for  the  loss  of  their  mother.  James  Nesbitt,  on  the  other  hand,  plays  a  typical  widower:  bitter  and  uncommunicative  towards  the  children  until  coupled  with  Daisy  Donovan  (The  11  O’Clock  Show),  whose  role  as  a  charity  worker  is  poorly  executed.

Damian’s  sheer  luck  in Â ďŹ nding  such  a  vast  sum  enievi-­ tably  leaves  you  pondering  as  to  what  you  would  do  with  the  money.  Damian  doesn’t  know  what  to  do,  and  ends  up  giving  away  large  sums  to  anyone  who  asks.  Anthony  is  not  so  gullible.  He Â ďŹ nds  himself  having  to  watch  his  younger  brother’s  every  move  as  he  wants  the  money  for  a  more  per-­ sonal  gain.  Despite  close  attentions  from  saints  and  a  crim-­ inal,  who  originally  stole  the  money,  Damian  and  Anthony  are Â ďŹ nally  caught  out  by  their  father.  It  then  becomes  a  race Â

to  deposit  the  money  into  the  bank  in  an  inconspicuous  manner  before  the  Euro  deadline  comes  into  place.

Whilst  you  may  be  thinking  that  this  is  just  an  extended  children’s  programme,  it  does  appeal  to  a  more  mature  au-­ dience.  For  example,  a  nun  smoking  a  spliff  doesn’t  only  come  across  as  being  comical  but  also  more  relevant  to  adults  -­  you  would  hope.  The  special  effects  also  create  a  more  sophisticated  appeal  along  with  the  constant  reli-­ gious  and  political  references.  The  editing  is  a  trademark  of  Danny  Boyle  who  employed  the  same  techniques  in  his Â

previous  major  work,  Trainspotting.

Millions  is  certainly  a Â ďŹ lm  to  be  watched  over  the  festive  period  as  it  illustrates  generosity  and  good  will.  The  kind  hearted,  good  natured  attitudes  of  the  young  brothers  is  the  deďŹ ning  feature  of  the  narrative.  The  ending  is  cheesy  but  this  should  not  affect  your  decision  to  watch  it.  It  por-­ trays  lots  of  qualities  relevant  to  all  ages,  which  makes  it  certainly  one  for  all  the  family.

4FBO 0 4IFB

DVD  Releases )PMJEBZ *OO %JS .BSL 4BOESJDI 3FMFBTFE CZ 6OJWFSTBM 1*DUVSFT Okay,  it’s  saccharine  and  twee  to  the  extreme,  but  Holiday  Inn  remains  pure,  unalloyed  joy.  It’s  impossible  to  talk  about  high-­ lights:  from  Astaire’s  stunning Â â€˜ďŹ recracker’  sequence,  to  Cros-­ by’s  sublime  ‘White  Christmas’,  the  simple  story  of  friendship  and  showbiz  is  a  delight.  The  eponymous  seasonal  getaway  is  depicted  in  sets  all  too  absent  in  today’s  Hollywood,  and  contemporary  stars  can’t  hold  a  candle  to  the  calibre  on  offer  here.  It’s  telling  that  the  only  insincere  moment  is  a  patriotic  montage  depicting  American  military  action.  This  brand  of  pro-­American  propaganda  can  only  feel  ironic  in  today’s  po-­ litical  climate,  but  in  context  such  complaints  are  minor.  This  special  edition  includes  a  comprehensive  range  of  extras,  so  all  together  now!  –  “May  your  days  be  merry  and  bright!â€?

3JDIBSE #PBLFT

$IBSMJF BOE UIF $IPDPMBUF 'BDUPSZ %JS 5JN #VSUPO 3FMFBTFE CZ 8BSOFS )PNF 7JEFP It’s  a  story  that  needs  no  introduction,  and  for  those  you  who  felt  the  1971  Gene  Wilder  version  lacked  Roald  Dahl’s  imagination  and  acid  wit,  Tim  Burton  delivers  a  movie  that  is  not  only  rich  and  magniďŹ cent  in  creative  vision,  but  one  that  will  pull  at  the  heart  strings  of  even  the  most  cynical  viewer.  The  sets  are  surreal,  lush  with  vibrant  colours  yet  distinctively  Burton,  blending  in  the  gothic  and  pop  art  styles  to  create  an  enticing  yet  sinister  atmosphere  for  the  visually  stunning  chocolate  factory.  Freddie  Highmore  is  adorable  as  Charlie,  and  the  Bucket  family  bring  warmth  to  the  otherwise  cold  re-­ lationships  in  the  movie.  The  children  appear  almost  to  have  been  picked  off  the  page  from  Quentin  Blake’s  illustrations  and  are  sufďŹ ciently  bratish  to  deserve  their  comeuppances.  Johnny  Depp  is  brilliant  with  his  hilarious  yet  deeply  disturbed  portrayal  of  Willy  Wonka.  A  simply  scrumptious  movie.  /BUBTIB ,VOEBJLFS

.S .ST 4NJUI %JS %PVH -JNBO 3FMFBTFE CZ UI $FOUVSZ 'PY )PNF &OUFSUBJONFOU 'FTUJWBM %JS "OOJF (SJGmUI Not  to  be  confused  with  Alfred  Hitchcock’s  1941  comedy,  3FMFBTFE CZ 1BUIF %JTUSJCVUJPO -UE Doug  Liman’s  summer  blockbuster  sees  Brad  Pitt  and  Ange-­ lina  Jolie  as  John  and  Jane  Smith,  a  couple  bored  with  married  life,  so  much  so  that  the Â ďŹ lm  opens  at  a  counselling  session.  The  twist  is  that,  unbeknown  to  each  other,  they  are  both  assassins  working  for  rival  organizations.  This  is  quite  an  amusing  idea,  but  unfortunately  it  all  breaks  down  after  the Â ďŹ rst  hour,  when  traditional  action  movie  rules  apply:  nobody  notices  enormous  explosions  next  door,  and  the  police  don’t  exist.  But  Pitt  and  Jolie  work  well  together,  which  is  lucky  con-­ sidering  that  there  aren’t  really  any  other  characters.  Anyone  expecting  a  Bonnie  and  Clyde-­style Â ďŹ nale  will  be  disappointed,  but  it’s  good  fun  and  certainly  never  boring. +BNFT #FSSJMM

22

Event The

Annie  GrifďŹ n’s  caustic  ‘tribute’  to  the  Edinburgh  Festival  Fringe  and  all  its  self-­congratulating,  narcissistic  delusionals  holds  up  well  on  another  viewing.  Not  all  of  the  large  ensem-­ ble  cast  quite  make  the  grade,  but  there  are  plenty  of  perform-­ ances  to  cherish:  Stephen  Mangan’s  childish,  cosseted  star  comedian;Íž  Lucy  Punch’s  ruthlessly  ambitious  aspiring  stand-­ up.  The  unshowy,  documentary-­like  tone  and  freewheeling  narrative  owe  something  to  Robert  Altman,  although  there’s  little  on  show  to  compare  to  that  director’s  entertainment-­ event  ensemble  piece  Nashville.  Festival  does  win  out  on  the  outrageous  gag  front  though,  and  the  bawdy  humour  here  is  a  bracing  change  of  pace  from  most  British  TV  comedy.

4FC .BOMFZ

Internet

Tap  in  to  Tokyo  Plastic

5PLZP 1MBTUJD JT IPNF UP TPNF PG UIF DVUFTU PEEJUJFT DZCFS TQBDF IBT UP PGGFS DSFBUJOH BO PGGCFBU XPSME XJUIJO JUT QBHFT UIBU IBT DFSUBJOMZ HPU UPOHVFT XBHHJOH ,BUF #SZBOU IBT B DMJDL BSPVOE

T

he  majority  of  the  internet  is  a  barren  wasteland.  There  is  endless  space,  and  not  even  tangible  space,  resting  in  the  wings  of  every  page  we  visit.  Oftentimes  an  innocent  surfer  will  take  a  wrong  turn  and  be  timed  out;Íž  their  cursor  will  drop  off  the  edge  of  the  cyber  world  into  a  chasm  of  white  nothingness.  It  is  at  these  times  when  we  realize  what  an  uninviting  and  ownerless  entity  the  internet  can  be.  Word  after  page  and  page  after  word,  it  is  those  moments  when  something  truly  different  and  stand  alone  enters  the  frame  that  the  true  majesty  and  scope  the  internet  offers,  not  just  as  a  media  but  as  an  artistic  outlet,  is  revealed.  Tokyo  Plastic  embraces  the  blanched  inďŹ nity  of  the  internet,  yet  is  a  rare  joy  to  visit.  It  is  a  little  bubble,  all  its  elements  working  in  sync  and  entirely  separately  from  the  dirge  surrounding  it.  The  viewers’  every  click  is  met  by  a  series  of  reactions  within  the  pages.  Rather  than  make  a  chore  of  navigating  the  site,  Tokyo  Plastic  builds  in  short  animated  sequences  that  lead  from  one  page  to  the  next.  Red  dots  blink,  little  dollies  wobble,  then  nod  and  are  engulfed  by  an  oscillating  ball  of  teeth  and  tentacles.  After  a  few  minutes  on  the  site,  it  becomes  second  nature  to  dart  your  eye  to  each  corner  of  the  screen,  looking  for  clues  as  to  where  the  next  wiggly  surprise  might  slither  from  or  to.     Sadly,  the  site  is  a  world  apart  from  most  others,  and  this  is  reected  in  the  number  of  high-­proďŹ le  projects  its  creators  have  been  involved  in  and  the  awards  various  parts  of  the  site  have  won.  The  same  minds  that  conceived  Tokyo  Plastic  also  created  adverts  for  MSN  Search,  Honda  and  MTV  all  of  which  can  be  viewed  on  the  site.  Despite Â

how  proliďŹ c  and  idiosyncratic  the  work  of  the  site’s  creators  is,  they  remain  somewhat  elusive.  They  refer  to  themselves  as  DC  and  LJ,  but  otherwise  stay  as  anonymous  as  superheroes,  only  eager  to  promote  their  artwork  and  its  achievements.    One  short Â ďŹ lm,  Opera  Dude,  won  the  audience  award  at  the  Sundance  Online  Film  Festival  in  2004.  It  is  just  one  of  many  fully  formed  short  animated  sequences  (as  opposed  to  the  amusing  tit  bits  Tokyo  Plastic  litters  itself  with),  all  of  which  are  worthy  of  individual  praise  separate  from  the  site.  The Â ďŹ lms  all  share  some  common  ground,  being  built  around  anime  style Â ďŹ gures  and  invasive  but  simple  percussion,  childlike  and  inviting.  It  is  these  characters  that  help  to  tie  the  site  together,  like  the  work  of  an  auteur  gathered  into  a  portfolio.                     Underlying  the  pretty  things  on  Tokyo  Plastic  is  the  occasional  gnarled,  black  leg/arm  or  robotic  creation,  reminiscent  of  Chris  Cunningham’s  work  and  just  as  disturbing.  These Â ďŹ gures  are  far  more  united  with  the  work  exhibited  by  Tokyo  Plastic  in  New  York,  giant  Transformer  style  robots  splattered  with  what  appear  to  be  red  blood Â

stains.  From  the  images  on  the  site,  these Â ďŹ gures  seem  huge  and  are  undeniably  scary,  forming  an  intriguing  counter  to  the  cutesier  images.  Much  like  the  way  the  worthiness  of  the  site’s  animation  belies  the  fact  that  its  simply  a  functional  website.       Ultimately  Tokyo  Plastic  is  unlikely  to Â

change  the  face  of  the  internet.  Its  attention  to  detail  and  effortless  are  invest  in  the  artistic  and  unlimited  nature  of  the  internet,  but  it  seems  to  be  an  investment  few  others  are  willing  to  make.  XXX UPLZPQMBTUJD DPN    Â

Event 23 The