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Issue: 137
Art Fashion Film Internet Music Television
The Go! Team on using music samples Inside... Margaret Atwood Fashion Prints Axed TV
Contents Features
Cover
!XED 46 7E LOOK AT SOME OF THE MOST SUPRISING CASES
4HE 'O 4EAM S .INJA CHATS TO US ABOUT THEIR SUCCESS AND JUST HOW ORIGINAL YOU CAN BE WHEN USING MUSIC SAMPLES
TV Â 9
Film  19  &  20 -OVIE 4RAILERS !N ART IN THEMSELVES "RITISH #INEMA -ORE THAN DIET (OLLYWOOD
Music  15 :ANE ,OWE !NALYSED AND APPRECIATED
Centre  Spread  12  &  13
Reviews
TV Â 8
4HE !PPRENTICE +ING OF THE (ILL ON $6$ SCI l HILARITY IN 2ED $WARF AND YOUR DOSE OF SOAPY SUDS
Art  6
Art  7
-ARGARET !TWOOD 7E SIT DOWN FOR A CHAT
%DWARD 3CISSORHANDS ON STAGE AND 6ERSES FOR THE $ESIGNER 5NDERCLASS
Fashion  4  &  5
Film  18,  21  &  22
Regulars
Music  14,  16  &  17
&ASHION 0RINTS ,OOK PERFECT IN YOUR PRINTS
Creative  Writing  10 Listings  17
3YRIANA 4HE 0ROPOSITION AND 4HE 7EATHERMAN ON THE BIG SCREEN )N (ER 3HOES (OWL S -OVING #ASTLE AND OTHERS ON THE SMALL ONE 4HE 0ADDINGTONS LIVE PLUS 4HE 3TREETS 4HE %DITORS AND MORE REVIEWED
Internet  23
(AVE A GIGGLE AT WWW HARRY HILL TV
Hello 7ELCOME DEAR READERS TO THE TATTY BUT ENJOYABLE PAGES OF 4HE %VENT "ROUGHT TO YOU BY US PURELY FOR YOUR OWN SELlSH PLEASURE 5SE THEM AS YOU LIKE AND DISCARD THEM AT THE SLIGHTEST WHIM WE WON T MIND HONEST "UT BEFORE YOU DO lND A QUIET SPOT AWAY FROM THE HUSTLE AND BUSTLE AND ENDLESS CUPS OF COFFEE !N INVITING NOOK YOU CAN CALL YOUR OWN 'RAB SOMETHING CAF FEINE FREE FOR A CHANGE A HERBAL TEA PERHAPS OR EVEN A lNE GLASS OF VIN TAGE RED #ONSIDER POPPING A SLIM CIGAR IN THE CORNER OF YOUR MOUTH OR DONNING SOME PLUSH FOOTWEAR 2IGHT HO NOW YOU RE SUITABLY PRE PARED FOR YOUR FORTNIGHTLY DOSE OF 4HE %VENT 4HIS ISSUE WE VE CATERED TO A GREAT PLETHORA OF ENTERTAINMENT INTERESTS SUCH IS OUR DUTY 7E ARE MOST INTERESTED THIS FORTNIGHT IN THE SUBJECT OF SAMPLING IN MUSIC 7E WERE SO ENGROSSED IN THIS ISSUE THAT WE HAD TO ENLIST THE HELP OF 4HE 'O 4EAM S FOXY LEAD VOCALIST .INJA TO GET TO GRIPS WITH THE ISSUE 3HE OBVIOUSLY DOESN T THINK THAT USING SAMPLES IS JUST PINCHING OTH ER PEOPLES MUSICAL BITS AND BOBS TO HAVE LUCRATIVE TOP TEN HITS WITHOUT WRITING ANYTHING YOURSELF 3HE DOES NOT BELIEVE THAT IT IS TANTAMOUNT TO AUDIO THEFT 7E OF COURSE AGREE HEARTILY WITH HER MOSTLY BECAUSE
Event The
OF HOW LOVELY SHE IS BUT ALSO BE CAUSE ,ADYmASH IS SO WONDERFULLY UPBEAT FUN AND JUST PLAIN GOOD 7E HAD SUCH FUN WITH THIS ISSUE THAT WE COULDN T POSSIBLY KEEP IT TO OURSELVES AND HAD TO STICK IT ON THE CENTRE SPREAD FOR ALL TO SEE 7HY NOT STAGE YOUR OWN DEBATE ON THIS TOP IC AND HAVE YOURSELF A SMALL SLICE OF THE ACTION )F HOWEVER YOU DO FEEL THAT ALL FORMS OF SAMPLING ARE JUST NAUGHTY AND SHOULD BE STOPPED THEN DON T SHY AWAY 9OU HAVE THE VERY SPECIAL PLEASURE OF READING AN ARTICLE THAT CHALLENGES AND PROVOKES YOU 7RITE US A LETTER TO REGISTER YOU OPINIONS AND MAKE DISAPPROVING NOISES AS YOU OVERHEAR OTHER PEOPLE DISCUSS ING SILLY NOTIONS OF ERADICATING COPYWRITES 4HE AGAIN MUSIC MIGHT NOT BE YOUR THING )TS NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF IT HAPPENS TO LOTS OF PEOPLE AND THEY LIVE PERFECTLY FULL AND IMPORTANT LIVES 7E STILL LOVE YOU VERY MUCH 7HY NOT TAKE A BUTCHERS AT THE FASHION PAGES 4HEY RE ALWAYS GOOD FOR A BIT OF CHIC ESCAPISM AND YOU CAN PICK UP SOME HANDY HINTS FOR YOU NEXT SHOPPING TRIP AS YOU ESCAPE 4HIS ISSUE WE VE CHOSEN TO ENLIGHTEN YOU ON THE BEST WAYS TO PARADE YOUR PRINTS ! TOUGH ISSUE WHEN YOU CONSIDER THAT WE RE DANGLING BETWIXT SEASONS 7HO CAN
ACCOUNT FOR SNOW IN THE MORNING AND SUN IN THE AFTERNOON 7ELLIES OR SUNNIES "EST TO PLAY IT SAFE AND CONCENTRATE ON THE MORE MANAGE ABLE ISSUE OF WHETHER POLKA DOTS OR BIG mOWERS LOOK BETTER FOR THAT NEW OUTlT YOU RE THINKING OF GETTING YOURSELF /R JUST LOOK AT THE PRETTY PICTURES /NCE YOU VE HAD YOUR lLL OF THE MORE FRIVOLOUS THINGS WE HAVE ON OF FER FOR YOU THIS FORTNIGHT YOU COULD JOIN US IN MOURNING FOR SOME AXED TELLY SHOWS )N FACT IT MAY BE MORE lTTING TO CALL THEM @AXED FRIENDS !FTER ALL WE SPEND FAR MORE ENJOY ABLE TIME WITH THEM THAN ANY HU MAN COMPANY 4HEY RE CRUELLY CUT DOWN IN THEIR PRIME SACRIlCED FOR THE DIRTY PLEASURE OF THE ALL MIGHTY DOLLAR 0ERHAPS THEY SHOULD HAVE SOME SORT OF CHARITY !FTER READING THE FEATURE IF YOU FEEL DRIVEN TO SET UP SUCH A CHARITY DO PLEASE CONTACT US FOR SUPPORT WHICH YOU RECEIVE BY THE STEAMING BUCKETFUL ,ASTLY COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF THANK YOU WITH mORAL DECORATION AND COMPLIMENTARY CHAMPAGNE METAPHORIC CHAMPAGNE TO EVE RYONE WHO HELPED WITH THE ISSUE OR SENT GOOD THOUGHTS TO THE PRO DUCTION TEAM OR WHO INTENDED TO 9OU RE ALL VERY BEAUTIFUL
Editor-in-chief  3ARAH %DWARDES Editor  &  Designer +ATE "RYANT Art  Editor  2OANNA "OND
#ONTRIBUTORS 'ABRIELLE "ARNES *AMES #ONWAY !LAN -URRIN
Fashion  Editor  ,AURA #OBB Film  Editor  3EBASTIAN -ANLEY
#ONTRIBUTORS +ATE "RYANT !NDY *UDSON ,YDIA -OSSAHEBI ,OUIS %ASTHORPE !LEX 'OLDUP !LEX +NOWLDEN *OHN -UTCH #HRIS (YDE
Music  Editor  #HARLES 2UMSEY #ONTRIBUTORS !LEX !LLEN 7ILL (OLLOWAY -ARK #RAWLEY &IONA "ILLINGS 3IMON 'RIFlTHS #HRIS (YDE 'EORGE 7YNDHAM TV  Editor  #HRIS (YDE #ONTRIBUTORS 2EBECCA (UNT $EREK *OHNSTON 0HILIP 2OBINSON 7ALTER 0LINCH .ATASHA +UNDAIKER Creative  Writing  Editor   -ERINNE 7HITTON #ONTRIBUTORS !NNA 3TEWARD +ATE +ILALEA -EGHAN 0URVIS Listings  Editor  &IONA "ILLINGS
Internet  Editor  7ALTER 0LINCH Additional  Artwork  +ATE "RYANT
Kate
Event 3 The
Fashion
Someday  My  Prints  Will #LEAR A SPACE AMONGST THOSE MOODY WINTER HUES AND MAKE WAY FOR A KALEIDOSCOPE OF COLOUR IN THE FORM OF REPETITIVE PATTERNS AND mASHES OF ANIMAL MAGIC ,AURA #OBB ENLIGHTENS YOU AND YOUR WEEPING WARDROBE ON 4HE 0RINCIPLES OF 0RINT
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HOSE OF US RESID ING IN NEGLECTED STUDENT SLUMS THIS SPRING CAN lNALLY HAVE THE CHANCE TO BE EN VOGUE 4HE CHINTZY PRINTS OF YOUR FADING CURTAINS HAVE MADE A MUCH NEEDED ESCAPE FROM THEIR MISERABLE CONmICT WITH THE SHAG PILE AND SUDDENLY BECOME HIP 3O WRECK REVENGE ON YOUR MISERLY LANDLADY AND SNATCH ANY mORAL FAB RIC THAT ISN T STITCHED TO THE lXTURES KNOCKING YOURSELF TOGETHER A SEA SONAL ESSENTIAL
Fresh  Prints  in  the  Air
4HIS SEASON S CATWALK COLLECTIONS SAW THE LIKES OF #HRISTIAN ,ACROIX MAKING GEOMETRIC WAVES AT THE %MILIO 0UCCI SHOW (IS CLASHING SWIRLS OF COLOUR SWUNG RIGHT BACK TO THE GLORIOUS PRINTS OF THE SIXTIES ,ACROIX CHOSE SOFT SEE THROUGH CHIF FON TO SHOWCASE THE CELEBRATED 0UC CI PRINTS %LSEWHERE PUNK INSPIRED DESIGNER ,UELLA "ARTLEY SHOW CASED lTTED SHIRTS IN GEEKY GINGHAM CHECKS AND GAVE 'RANNY S FAVOURITE TARTAN A LADYLIKE MAKEOVER $ITSY MINIS AND SHAPELY DRESSES WERE ALL GIVEN THE 3COTTISH STAMP !LICE 2OI WAS ONE OF THE MANY DESIGNERS TO RESCUE ANIMAL PRINT FROM IT S TRAU MATIC GIRL POWER PAST AND ADORN DRESSES WITH FAUX ENDANGERED DE SIGNS !FFORDABLE OUTLETS ARE ALSO PLAYING WITH PRINT AND THE SHOPS ARE BLOOMING WITH EVERYTHING FROM POLKA DOTS TO mORA AND FAUNA )T S NOT GREEDY TO TRY A BIT OF BOTH
Do  Prints  Charming
! CHILL IN LAST SEASON S STYLE MEANT MONOCHROME TONES CHEQUERED THE CATWALK 7ELL AFTER BLACK AND WHITE BANALITY SOMEONE HAD TO INVENT COLOUR #ONSIDER ANYTHING WILDLY BRIGHT IN A REPETITIVE CONlGURATION A DOABLE SPRINGTIME STYLE BUT WHERE SHOULD PRINT BEGIN /UTLANDISH !MERICAN STYLE ADVISORS WILL ALWAYS CAUTION LADIES ON THE PERILS OF PRINT AS AN ILL ADVISED PATTERN ON EVEN THE SLEEKEST OF lGURES CAN LOOK ATROCIOUS 0RINTS CAN CAUSE CURVES TO SPLURGE IN THE WORST WAY STEERING OUTlTS A LITTLE TOO CLOSE TO mORAL SOFA TERRITORY "UT DON T LET FEAR MEAN YOU ABANDON PATTERN ENTIRELY FANCY DESIGNS CAN LOOK HOT ON THE RIGHT TERMS 4HOSE
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3HOPS ARE BLOOMING WITH EVERYTHING FROM POLKA DOTS TO mORA AND FAUNA
Fashion
Come
Costume  Drama !S MUCH AS 0ARIS (ILTON REPRESENTS ALL THAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD SOMETIMES ALTHOUGH ) SAY IT THROUGH TENSELY GRITTED TEETH THE GIRL HAS A POINT 7ITH REGARDS TO DRESSING UP THE HEIRESS HAS SAID h$RESS CUTE WHEREVER YOU GO LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BLEND IN v !LTHOUGH THERE S BEEN A LITTLE LOST IN TRANSLATION AS DRESSING CUTE THIS SIDE OF THE POND SUG GESTS KNITTED BOOTIES AND A PINK BABYGRO THE LATER PART OF HER WISDOM RINGS TRUE 7HY DO PEOPLE CHOOSE TO TRUDGE THROUGH LIFE IN THE JEANS THEY WORE YESTERDAY AND A T SHIRT THAT WAS FREE WITH A BEER PROMOTION ,IFE REALLY IS TOO SHORT TO NOT MAKE EVERY OUTlT LIKE EVERY MOMENT COUNT /N THAT NOTE THIS WEEK WE HEAD DOWN A DIMLY LIT ALLEY "RACE YOURSELF FASHION lENDS 4HIS WEEK WE TACKLE THE COURSE THAT COUTURE FORGOT
CAUTIOUS OF CLOTHING WITH THE VOL UME TURNED UP HIGH SHOULD STICK TO WEARING PATTERN IN MEASURED DOSES !DD mASHES OF PRINT WHEN SPLASHED VICARIOUSLY ON SELECTED ACCESSORIES 0ATTERNED SHOES HAIR BANDS OR SCARVES ARE EASY WARDROBE UPDATES AND CAN BE PAIRED WITH STRAIGHT LEG INDIGO JEANS AND A CRISP WHITE SHIRT
The  Outfits  Currently Known  as  Prints 4HOSE WANTING THE IMPACT OF AN OUT lT IN PRINT THIS SPRING SHOULD THANK THEIR FASHION STARS FOR $IANE 6ON &URSTENBERG AND HER SIN DISGUISING WRAPS -ISS 6& S DRESSES WERE DE SIGNED WAY BEFORE EVEN YOUR MOTH ER HAD SINS TO DISGUISE 4HEY WERE MADE WITH THE INTENTION OF MAKING WOMEN FEEL LIKE WOMEN &IVE MIL LION OF HER DRESSES WERE SOLD WITHIN FOUR YEARS OF GOING INTO PRODUCTION AND LUCKILY FOR US WOMEN AND OUR TIME TRANSCENDING IMPERFECTIONS THE HIGH STREET HAS ALWAYS BEEN QUICK TO FOLLOW IN STYLISH SUIT $6& S DRESSES HAVE MADE A WELCOME RE TURN COMPLETE WITH COLOURFUL PRINTS OF LATE 4HOSE OF US SPORTING A PRO TRUDING MUMMY TUMMY BUT WITH OUT THE BAIRN IN TOE CAN SEEK SOLACE IN THE COMFORT AND SLEEK SILHOUETTE THAT THE DRESSES AFFORD +EEP CHILLS TO A MINIMUM WITH LEGGINGS OR TIGHTS BENEATH 2ECENT STRIDES IN THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF HIGH COUTURE HAVE MEANT THAT DESIGNERS HAVE l NALLY ACKNOWLEDGED THE WAIST 3O
PAIR YOUR PRINTED $6& DRESS WITH A STOMACH OBSCURING BELT THEN FEEL FREE TO DRINK AS MUCH AS BEER AS THE LICENSING LAWS ALLOW 7HEN THE WEATHER GIRL GETS A CLUE YOU SHOULD SWIRL IN SOPHISTICATION IN AN EXTRAVAGANT COCKTAIL DRESS DECORATED IN WILDLY DECORATIVE PRINTS JUST VERGING ON THE STYLISH SIDE OF (AWAIIAN TROPICAL 3PRING DRESSES WILL SEE THE RETURN OF THE mATTERING HALTER NECKS TIE $ON T FOR GET TO DElNE YOUR COLLARBONES WITH A DUSTING OF GOLDEN SPARKLE )N AN INTERESTING TWIST FROM LAST YEAR S BOHO TREND FASHION WILL ,OOK %AST 5NFORTUNATELY WE WON T ALL BE DRESSING LIKE .ORFOLK FARM ERS BUT ALMOST AS ELEGANTLY AS WE TAKE STYLE TIPS FROM BEAUTIFUL *APA NESE GEISHAS 7HERE AS THE LAID BACK HIPPY LOOK MEANT SOPHISTICATION WAS EXCHANGED FOR MUSSED UP STRESS FREE DRESSING THIS SEASONS mAVOUR OF !SIA OFFERS A LOOK WHICH IS CLEAN SMART AND VIVID 4HE FRESH PRINTS OF THE ORIENT mASHING IN VIBRANT TONES FOUND ONLY IN THE MOST EXOTIC mOW ERS WILL ADORN CLUTCHES SASHES AND BILLOWING KIMONOS &OLLOWING THE mORAL NOTE THE COR SAGES WHICH BECAME AN OUTlT ES SENTIAL EARLY THIS CENTURY HAVE RE TURNED WITH A SHOT OF SOMETHING '- IN THEIR STEMS /VERSIZED mORA WILL BE SCATTERED ON SHOES AND BAGS AND RECLINE IN LUXURY ATOP THE MOST LUXURIOUS OF PONYTAILS )N OTHER AC CESSORY REPORTS OUTlT ADDITIONS THIS SEASON WILL BE FABULOUSLY OR NATE !RMS NECKS AND EARS WILL BE SPRINKLED WITH JEWELS ADORNED WITH
DETAILED AND DRAMATIC CHARMS 2IB BONS PEARLS AND KNOTTED MOTIF SCARVES WILL BE DRAPED ON THE LOOPS OF YOUR EVERY OVERSIZED HANDBAG THIS SEASON ! KITSCH ADDED ACCES SORY WILL BE THE h"ORROWERS@v SIZED BUTTON 4HIS WILL BE INVOLVED IN THE DESIGN OF COATS SKIRTS AND SHIRTS OR STANDING ALONE BROACH STYLE ON COLLARS AND BAGS
The  Prints  of  Tails
2EMEMBER THOSE SNAPPY ELASTICS YOU D CLIP ON YOUR TROUSER TOPS WHEN DRESSING UP TIME DICTATED IT WAS YOUR TURN TO PLAY $AD 7ELL THEY VE DROPPED THEIR ASSOCIATION WITH CHILDHOOD CAVORTS AND CITY BANKERS AND ARE WELCOMED INTO OUR CLOSETS !CCESSORISE YOUR BRACES AS THOUGH THEY WERE THE MULTI PURPOSE NECKLACE COME BELT YOU NEVER KNEW YOU NEEDED 0ING THEM ON THE TOPS OF YOUR CITY SHORTS AND BRODERIE LACE VESTS OR SLIM lT SHIRTS AND OF COURSE ANYTHING IN A PAT TERNED FASHION :EBRAS TIGERS AND LEOPARDS SHOULD HAVE GOT THEIR SKINS COPYRIGHTED THIS SPRING AS PRINTS FROM THE EX OTIC SIDE OF THE ANIMAL KINGDOM SADLY NO FREAKY "RITISH BADGERS EXOTIC ANIMAL FOLK ONLY HAVE BEEN PAID HOMAGE TO !NIMAL PRINTS SHOULD BE WORKED ON ACCESSORIES IN A LOW KEY FASH ION ADORNING A SIMPLE SWEATER OR LAVISHED ON PUMPS OR KILLER HEELS (APPY 0ATTERNS FASHION LOVERS TILL NEXT TIME !ND NO ) AM NOT SORRY FOR OVER PUNNING THE WORD PRINTS
$EAR -ISS LL &IX )T
) HAVE TAKEN A LOVER !ND AS WONDERFULLY FULL AS THE HOURS BETWEEN THE lRST EDITION OF .EIGHBOURS AND THE SECOND HAVE NOW BECOME THERE IS A MINOR HICCUP IN OUR CHARM ING SET UP (E IS AS SOME MAY SO TASTEFULLY PUT IT PART OF THE hSCIENCE SETv !ND THEREFORE CONSIDERS ANORAKS VERSATILE WARE FOR EVERY SEASON AND mEECY FABRIC A DAILY ESSENTIAL (E DRESSES FOR PRACTICALITIES PURPOSE RATHER THAN STYLES ) FEEL ASHAMED TO WALK WITH HIM AND OFTEN PRETEND ) DON T KNOW HIM WHEN MY FRIENDS APPEAR ) VE EVEN TAKEN TO HIDING BE HIND PILLARS /UR AFFAIR HAS BECOME A SECRET OPERATION AS ) ATTEMPT TO SMUGGLE HIM IN LATE AT NIGHT AND SHOVE HIM BACK OUT BEFORE THE SUN RISES (ELP URGENTLY REQUIRED "E FORE MY mATMATES REALISE THAT #RAGHOPPERS BACKPACK OUT SIDE MY DOOR EACH DAY WASN T LEFT THERE BY THE PLUMBER #LANDESTINE !LLIANCE WITH 3CIENCE $EAREST 3CIENCE 3PECIALIST
)T IS SOMETHING THAT TROUBLES MANY A VISITOR TO 5%! 7HAT EXACTLY IS THE NEED FOR WALKING BOOTS AROUND CAMPUS 7HERE EXACTLY IS THE ROUGH AND ROCKY TERRAIN 0ERHAPS SOMEWHERE BETWEEN THE SQUARE AND THE HIVE /R MAYBE IT S THOSE TREACHEROUS STEPS LEADING TO THE LIBRARY 3ENSIBLE SHOES ARE AN INTERESTING CONCEPT AND WE MUST NOT MOCK THE UNFAMILIAR )N SOME CULTURES SHOES WHICH INCORPORATE BOTH A PADDED COLLAR AND A REMOVABLE FOOTBED ARE CONSIDERED ACCEPTABLE MAYBE EVEN ATTRACTIVE "UT SURELY NOTHING RIVALS THE MASSES OF SEX APPEAL CONCENTRATED INTO TO THE POINTY TOE OF A COME TO BED KICK ASS HEEL 3URELY ALL WOMEN WERE BORN WITH AN INNATE FOOT FETISH 4HEN THERE S ASEXUALUALITY OF AN ANORAK 7ATERPROOFS SHOULD REALLY HAVE ONLY ONE USE IN A RELATIONSHIP AND IT DOESN T COME WITH USEFUL 6ELCRO POCKETS AND A HIDDEN COMPARTMENT FOR YOUR mASK )F ONLY THERE WAS A DEGREE IN FASHION CRIMINOLOGY SOME COULD SCORE lRSTS BY SIMPLY SLUMPING IN THE 2ED "AR !NYHOW ) DIGRESS 9OU MY DEAR CHILD HAVE REACHED THE UNFORTUNATE REALISATION THAT MANY A BABE OF A CERTAIN AGE WILL ARRIVE AT !S MUCH WE MAY MOCK THE SCIENTIlC LITTLE CRITTERS GOOD MEN WEAR NAVY 4HEY ARE PARTIAL TO A COMFY mEECE OR TWO 4HEY HAVE SOFT LITTLE HANKIES TO CLEAN THEIR GLASSES WITH 4HEY ARE NOT ASHAMED OF BRINGING LUNCHES FROM HOME "AD MEN DO NONE OF THESE THINGS 4HEIR DRESS SENSE MAY BE MORE EXPENSIVE BUT DOES THAT MAKE UP FOR THEM TRYING TO PULL YOUR BEST FRIEND IN THE TWENTY FOUR HOUR LIBRARY 3O WHAT IF YOUR MAN WEARS A mEECE )T S WHAT LIES BENEATH HIS SOFT ZIP UP JERKIN THAT MATTERS -ANY A SCIENTIlC GENT WILL ENJOY SIMILARLY STUDIOUS PAST TIMES SUCH AS RAMBLING AND CLIMBING 4HIS IS BOUND TO ENTAIL A TIGHTLY HONED BOD )F THERE S CHEMISTRY IN HIS BIOLOGY WHO CARES IF THE PHYSICALITY AIN T ALL THAT (ANG ON IN THERE THERE S MONEY TO BE MADE IN SCIENCE THINK OF ALL THOSE MILLIONAIRES WITH KNOWLEDGE OF ROCK FORMATIONS
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The  Author’s  Tale
!LAN -URRIN MEETS A WOMAN TO BE RECKONED WITH (E INTERROGATES -ARGARET !TWOOD ABOUT HER LATEST WORK HER INVENTION OF THE @,ONG0EN AND HER POLITICAL PERSUASIONS !LONG THE WAY HE RECEIVES A RE EDUCATION IN HOW TO DANCE TO THE RIGHT TUNE
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HE %VENT HAS WITNESSED A MIRACLE /N -ONDAY TH -ARCH WE HAD THE TERRIFYING PRIVILEGE OF MEETING WHAT APPEARED TO BE TWO DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF THE SAME WOMAN 4HE lRST WOMAN ENCOUNTERED WAS -ARGARET !TWOOD DURING A PRIVATE INTERVIEW !S SOON AS !TWOOD ARRIVED WE WERE INTRODUCED TO HER DRY WIT !SKED BY HER ASSISTANT IF SHE SHOULD LEAVE US ALONE !TWOOD SMILED AND REPLIED h!CTUALLY DO YOU THINK YOU COULD STAY HEAR AND HOVER OVER US v /BVIOUSLY MORE IN TUNE WITH HER SARCASM THAN US WHO mINCHED WITH DISCOMFORT HER ASSISTANT IMMEDIATELY LEFT THE ROOM
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Event The
v&EMINISIM HAS BECOME SO BROAD YOU CAN T HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT IT WITHOUT NARROWING IT DOWNv
4HERE IS A KINDNESS AND INTELLIGENCE PRESENT IN -ARGARET !TWOOD S EYES WITHOUT BEING ETCHED IN HER FEATURES )N FACT THE YEAR OLD WRITER DID NOT APPEAR TO HAVE A SINGLE WRINKLE YET WHEN SHE SPOKE IN HER SOFT RASPY #ANADIAN DRAWL HER FACE WAS INCREDIBLY EXPRESSIVE "UT IT SEEMS TO US THAT SUCH PRATTLE ABOUT THE READING OF FACES AND THE FEMALE AGEING PROCESS WOULD BE OF LITTLE INTEREST TO -ARGARET !TWOOD WHO BEING FORTHRIGHT AND TO THE POINT PREFERRED TO FOCUS ON THE CONCRETE AND SIGNIlCANT RATHER THAN SPEAKING IN ABSTRACTIONS 4HE lRST SUBJECT BROACHED WITH !TWOOD WAS HER NEW INVENTION THE ,ONG0EN 4HE CONTROVERSIAL DEVICE ALLOWS AN AUTHOR TO SIGN BOOKS REMOTELY VIA VIDEO FEED AND ROBOT HAND 4HE INVENTION HAS HAD SOME VERY VOCAL DETRACTORS WHO BELIEVE THAT IT HERALDS THE END OF THE BOOK TOUR 5NFORTUNATELY LITTLE WAS DONE TO SILENCE THE CRITICS WHEN ON ITS DEBUT IN .ORTH !MERICA THE ,ONG0EN FAILED TO WORK h)T WAS A SINGING FROG EXPERIENCE 4HE FROG ONLY SINGS WHEN YOU RE NOT LOOKING AT IT v LAUGHED !TWOOD 3HE ALSO ASSURED US THAT THE INVENTION DOES WORK AND THAT THE TECHNICAL PROBLEMS HAVE BEEN RECTIlED 7HEN WE SUGGESTED THAT THE LAUNCH OF THE ,ONG0EN IS DETRACTING ATTENTION FROM THE PUBLICATION OF HER NEW BOOK 4HE 4ENT SHE WAS QUICK TO ASSURE US THAT THIS IS NOT THE CASE AND USED THE OPPORTUNITY TO SPEAK ABOUT THE BOOK ITSELF h4HIS IS A VERY STRANGE KIND OF BOOK ) MEAN IT S REALLY HORIZONTAL POETRY )T S A MIXED ASSORTMENT OF VERY SMALL lCTIONY THINGS WHICH ARE DIFFERENT FROM ONE ANOTHER ) VE MANAGED TO GET ABOUT THREE SCIENCE lCTION NOVELS ONTO ABOUT FOUR PAGES 3OME OF THEM ARE FABLES CHICKEN LITTLE STORIES 3OME OF THEM ARE SEQUELS (ORATIO S VERSION OF WHAT HAPPENED AFTER (AMLET 3O NONE OF THEM ARE PIECES OF REALISM LET S PUT IT THAT WAY v 7HEN IT COMES TO DISCUSSING THE PROCESS OF WRITING !TWOOD S ATTITUDE IS UNERRINGLY PRACTICAL AND ALL THE MORE REFRESHING FOR IT 7E REFERRED TO 3USAN 3ONTAG HAVING SAID THAT A GOOD WRITER IS SOMEBODY WHO IS INTERESTED IN EVERYTHING AND THAT JUDGING BY THE MULTITUDE OF DIFFERENT THEMES AND IDEAS IN HER MORE THAN THIRTY PUBLISHED WORKS THAT INCLUDE PROSE POETRY AND ESSAYS WE SUGGESTED THAT THIS WOULD SEEM TO BE THE CASE WITH
!TWOOD HERSELF )T MADE US CURIOUS AS TO HOW SHE DECIDES WHAT IDEAS ARE WORTH THE TIME AND ENERGY OF PUTTING INTO PRINT h) DON T KNOW )F YOU ARE INTERESTED IN THE STORY AND THERE ALWAYS HAS TO BE A STORY OF COURSE "UT IT NEVER BEGINS WITH AN AGENDA )T OFTEN GETS TAUGHT THAT WAY BECAUSE IT S EASIER TO TEACH AGENDAS THAN IT IS TO TEACH hTHIS IS HOW SOMEBODY TOOK A BIG PILE OF MUD AND TURNED IT INTO SOMETHING WITH A SHAPE v 3O OFTEN WRITING GETS TAUGHT BACKWARDS PEOPLE TAKE A LOOK AT IT AND THEY PULL THE AGENDA OUT AND THINK YOU MUST HAVE STARTED WITH IT BUT IN FACT IT S SOMETHING THAT DEVELOPED v !TWOOD IS A FORMER 0RESIDENT OF 0%. 0OETS %SSAYISTS AND .OVELISTS #ANADA WHICH ASSISTS WRITERS WORLD WIDE WHO LIVE UNDER POLITICAL OPPRESSION 7HEN ) ASKED HER IF SHE IS STILL INVOLVED WITH 0%. IT WAS CLEAR THAT THIS IS A SUBJECT CLOSE TO HER HEART AND ONE THAT SHE IS ENTHUSIASTIC TO SPEAK ABOUT h9ES ) RAISE MONEY FOR IT ;0%.= 4HE LATEST THING WE WENT TO BAT FOR WAS /RHAM 0AMUK ;AUTHOR OF h-Y .AME IS 2EDv= WHO WAS ACCUSED BY THE 4URKISH GOVERNMENT OF BEING ANTI 4URKISH IN HIS WRITING AND THEY WERE GOING TO PUT HIM ON TRIAL FOR THAT v 4HIS LED US TO SUGGEST THAT IN THE CURRENT POLITICAL CLIMATE WRITERS OF BOTH lCTION AND NON lCTION HAVE A GREATER ROLE TO PLAY IN THE FORMING OF POLITICAL OPINION THAN EVER !TWOOD HOWEVER WAS SUSPICIOUS OF THIS SUGGESTION h9OU CAN T TELL WRITERS WHAT KIND OF WRITING THAT THEY SHALL DO 4HERE ARE PEOPLE DOING THAT KIND OF WRITING BECAUSE THEY ARE INTERESTED IN IT AND THEY ARE GOOD AT IT 4HERE HAVE BEEN REGIMES THAT HAVE EMPLOYED WRITERS AND HAVE HAD A SORT OF STATE APPROVED KIND OF WRITING OR WHO HAVE BASICALLY KILLED OFF ALL THE WRITERS WHO WEREN T DOING THAT 4HAT PRODUCES POSTERS NOT WRITING v !TWOOD S BOOKS HAVE INCLUDED WOMEN OF ALL KIND BUT SHE WAS VERY CAREFUL TO LET ME KNOW THAT JUST BECAUSE SHE WRITES ABOUT WOMEN DOES NOT MEAN THAT SHE IS A FEMINIST h&EMINISMv IS ONE OF THE WORDS THAT HAS NOW BECOME SO BROAD THAT YOU CAN T REALLY HAVE A MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION ABOUT IT WITHOUT NARROWING IT DOWN !S FAR AS MY WRITING IS CONCERNED ) HAVE BEEN ACCUSED OF BEING REALLY VERY FEMINIST AND ) HAVE ALSO BEEN ACCUSED OF BEING ANTI FEMINIST ) MEAN ) THINK PEOPLE THINK THAT IF
YOU ARE REALLY VERY FEMINIST THAT ALL THE WOMEN IN YOUR WORK SHOULD BE GOOD NOBLE PURE STRONG VIRTUOUS AND TRUE WHICH ACTUALLY ISN T REAL LIFE 3O ) PREFER TO BELIEVE THAT HUMAN BEINGS ARE HUMAN BEINGS THEY COME IN ALL VARIETIES v )N TRYING TO THINK OF QUESTIONS TO ASK A WRITER OF -ARGARET !TWOOD S CALIBRE WE FOUND OURSELVES WONDERING IF THERE WAS ANYTHING THAT SHE HAD NOT BEEN ASKED BEFORE 3HE ASSURED US HOWEVER THAT SHE NEVER GETS BORED AND THAT EVEN NOW VIEWS AND OPINIONS SHE ONCE THOUGHT lXED HAVE THE ABILITY TO REFRESH THEMSELVES FROM TIME TO TIME "UT DOES SHE ENJOY THE INTERVIEW PROCESS h)T DEPENDS WHO S DOING IT DOESN T IT $O YOU LIKE DANCING 9EAH SURE WHEN THE PEOPLE YOU RE DANCING WITH ARE GOOD DANCERS AND IT S FUN AND YOU RE NOT TIRED "UT IF IT S SOMEBODY WHO STEPS ON YOUR FEET THEN YOU DON T LIKE IT v ! RESPONSE LIKE THAT WOULD LEAVE ANY INTERVIEWER WONDERING IF THEY HAD THE RIGHT MOVES 4HE SECOND WOMAN THAT 4HE %VENT ENCOUNTERED WAS -ARGARET !TWOOD THE PUBLIC lGURE 4HIS WAS WHEN SHE GAVE A READING AND INTERVIEW IN A PACKED ,ECTURE 4HEATRE )T WAS ON THIS PLATFORM THAT THE GREAT SENSE OF HUMOUR FOR WHICH SHE IS RENOWNED IN HER WRITING BECAME APPARENT h-ARGARET !TWOODv WRITER AS ENTERTAINER AND INTELLECTUAL AS ENTERTAINER CAME TO THE FORE !S SHE TOOK TO THE PODIUM TO GIVE A READING FROM h4HE 4ENT v SHE REELED OFF ANECDOTE AFTER ANECDOTE ABOUT THE EVENTS THAT HAD HAPPENED THROUGHOUT THE TIME WHEN SHE HAD LIVED IN .ORFOLK 4HIS WAS A CONSUMMATE PROFESSIONAL AT WORK WHO KNEW HOW TO WOW AN AUDIENCE AND KNEW HOW TO SELL NOT ONLY HERSELF BUT HER BOOKS (OWEVER THERE WAS STILL ENOUGH OF HER UNSWERVING DIRECTNESS APPARENT TO GIVE PEOPLE SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT AFTERWARDS 7HEN ASKED BY AN AUDIENCE MEMBER WHY IN HER EARLY WORKS WOMEN SEEMED TO BE ISOLATED AND IN CONTENTION WITH ONE ANOTHER SHE SMILED LEANT HER HEAD AGAINST HER HAND AND RESPONDED SHARPLY h"ECAUSE THAT S JUST SO DIFFERENT FROM REAL LIFE ISN T IT !BRUPT ENGAGING ARTICULATE AND UNRELENTING -ARGARET !TWOOD IS A WONDERFUL WRITER AND AS FASCINATING IN PERSON AS SHE IS ON THE PAGE *UST MAKE SURE YOU COME PREPARED DANCING SHOES AND ALL
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%DWARD 3CISSORHANDS
0AUL -ACJOYCE
4UESDAY TH &EBRUARY 3ATURDAY TH -ARCH 4HEATRE 2OYAL
6ERSES &OR 4HE $ESIGNER 5NDERCLASS
4HE STREETS WERE SWEPT WITH A HEAVY BLANKET OF SNOW AND MOVIE STYLE mAKES WERE mUTTERING DOWNWARDS THROUGH THE AIR .ORWICH SEEMED A LITTLE MORE SUITABLE FOR A FAIRY TALE THAN USUAL WITH THE COLD CRISP AIR CARRYING A TINGE OF EXCITEMENT THAT NORMALLY COMES WITH SUCH SCENIC WEATHER 4HE DECADENT CITY SCAPE WAS THE ICING ON THE CAKE FOR THE OPENING NIGHT OF -ATTHEW "OURNE S VERSION OF %DWARD 3CISSORHANDS "EHIND THE SCENES HOWEVER THE SHOW HAD NOT GOT OFF TO AN AUSPICIOUS START 4HIS WAS BECAUSE FOR MOST OF THE DAY THERE HAD NOT ACTUALLY BEEN ANY SCENES FOR THE DANCE COMPANY TO BE BEHIND 4HE SETS HAD BEEN TRANSPORTED TO THE 4HEATRE 2OYAL EARLIER THAT AFTERNOON n ONLY THEY D ARRIVED AT THE 4HEATRE 2OYAL IN .OTTINGHAM NOT .ORWICH %VEN ONCE THIS MISHAP HAD BEEN RESOLVED THE CAST HAD TO OVERCOME THE SPATIAL RESTRICTIONS OF THE SMALL EST STAGE THEY HAD ENCOUNTERED ON THEIR TOUR 4HEY MANAGED BRILLIANTLY AND THE AUDIENCE WERE LEFT BLISSFULLY OBLIVIOUS TO THE DIFlCULTIES THAT HAD LED UP TO THE PERFORMANCE 4HE SCENERY lRMLY ON THE STAGE OF THE CORRECT 4HEATRE 2OYAL CONJURED A VISUAL WORLD WHICH REmECTED THE FULL ATMOSPHERIC POWER OF $ANNY %LF MAN S ORIGINAL SCORE 4HE SHATTERED GLASS IN THE HIGH GOTHIC WINDOWS OF %DWARD S HOME WAS DELICIOUSLY CREEPY AND CREATED A VIVID CONTRAST TO THE BRIGHTLY PAINTED HOUSES AND NEAT FENCES OF !MERICAN SUBURBIA IN LATER SCENES ,EZ "ROTHERSTON S COSTUME DESIGNS WERE PARTICULARLY CLEVER WITH EACH FOUR PERSON FAMILY MADE EASILY DISTINGUISHABLE BY THEIR
0AUL -ACJOYCE IS A WORDSMITH THROUGH AND THROUGH )N A WORLD WHERE POETS STILL RHYME @LOVE WITH @ABOVE OR GIVE UP RHYMING ALTOGETHER THIS BOOK BRINGS BACK AN ORIGINALITY AND DARING MUCH MISSED FROM THE "RITISH WRITING SCENE !ND THIS IS VERY "RITISH POETRY DESCRIBING THE DREGS OF OUR SOCIETY COMPARING THE NATION S GIRLS FROM %SSEX TO (EREFORDSHIRE AND OFFERING A REMINISCENT COLLAGE OF ,IVERPOOL 7ITH A VOCABULARY THAT WOULD MAKE 3HAKESPEARE BLUSH AT ITS SIZE AND 3ID 6ICIOUS BLUSH AT ITS COLOUR HE WRITES LIKE AN OUTRAGED COCKNEY WHO S SWALLOWED A DICTIONARY 0AUL IS A PERFORMANCE POET WHO ATTENDED OUR VERY OWN 5%! AND MADE A NAME FOR HIMSELF ON STAGE AT MANY .ORWICH VENUES 4HIS IS WHY YOU lND YOURSELF READING EVERY LINE OUT LOUD THE PIECES ARE DESIGNED TO BE SPOKEN AND IF NOT SPOKEN THEN SHOUTED "UT HAVING THE POEMS WRITTEN DOWN LETS YOU APPRECIATE THE DENSENESS OF HIS LANGUAGE 4HE FURY OF THIS POETRY ON STAGE PROVIDES GREAT ENTERTAINMENT BUT MUCH OF THE CONTENT GETS MISSED 7HAT S MORE WITH 0AUL YOU RE OFTEN LEFT ASKING h$ID HE ACTUALLY JUST SAY THAT v 7ITH THIS BOOK YOU LL lND YOURSELF RE READING WHOLE VERSES OUT LOUD THREE TIMES IN A ROW n THOUGH ONLY THE AUTHOR CAN GET WAY WITH THIS IN PUBLIC 4HIS BOOK IS NOT FOR THE WEAK HEARTED BUT IS PERFECT FOR THOSE GROWN BORED WITH THE OUT OF TOUCH SPUTTERINGS OF MODERN "RITISH FREE VERSE *AMES #ONWAY
OUTlTS BE IT THE TRAILER TRASH 'RUBB FAMILY WITH THEIR PADDED BELLIES AND BAGGY CHEQUERED TOPS OR THE 5PTON FAMILY WITH THEIR SPARKLING COLOURS AND ELEGANT SUIT LINES (OWEVER THE DANCING TOPIARY BUSHES WERE UNDE NIABLY THE DESIGNER S PIECE DE RESIST ANCE AS THESE FACELESS LEAFY BEINGS WERE ODDLY CONVINCING AND UTTERLY BREATHTAKING 3AM !RCHER MADE A WINNING %DWARD 3CISSORHANDS EXPRESSIVE IN BOTH HIS DANCING AND HIS ACTING )N FACT THE ENTIRE CAST WERE COMMEND ABLE FOR THEIR USE OF THEIR CHARACTERS WITH EVERY DANCER SO INVOLVED THAT IT WAS OFTEN HARD TO FOCUS ON THE PRINCIPAL STORYLINE DUE TO THE LITTLE BITS OF BYPLAY GOING ON IN ALL COR NERS OF THE STAGE 3HELBY 7ILLIAMS IN PARTICULAR WHO PLAYED THE MINOR CHARACTER -ARILYN !NN %VERCREECH WAS EERILY CAPTIVATING IN HER ROLE AS A MORBID TEENAGE GIRL -UCH OF THE PLOT OF -ATTHEW "OURNE S ADAPTATION OF %DWARD 3CIS SORHANDS WAS SURPRISINGLY DIFFERENT TO 4IM "URTON S ORIGINAL lLM VER
SION "OURNE MAKES THE STORY VERY MUCH HIS OWN WITH HIS CHARACTERIS TICALLY THOUGHTFUL SYMBOLIC TOUCHES /NE SUCH IS THAT %DWARD S ROMANTIC INTEREST IS A CHEERLEADER WHO IN ONE SCENE DANCES WITH HUGE PINK POM POMS OBSCURING HER HUMAN HANDS IN A POIGNANT ECHO OF %DWARD S OWN AWKWARD SCISSOR HANDS 4HIS DRAWS A VISUAL PARALLEL BETWEEN THE TWO CHARACTERS WHICH HELPS THE AUDI ENCE TO RECOGNISE AND SYMPATHISE WITH THEIR LOVE STORY "OURNE S VISION AND CAPABILI TIES AS A CHOREOGRAPHER ARE INDIS PUTABLE (IS EYE FOR A STORY IS ALSO EXCELLENT AND %DWARD 3CISSORHANDS IS TESTAMENT TO THIS IN HOW WELL IT HAS TRANSLATED INTO A DANCE PIECE /R RATHER NOT TRANSLATED AS THAT WOULD SUGGEST THAT NOTHING MORE WAS BROUGHT TO THE STAGE THAN WAS ALREADY PRESENT IN THE lLM )NSTEAD IT HAS UNDERGONE A TRANSFORMATION IN THE WAY OF A CHARACTER FROM ANY CLASSIC FAIRY TALE AND SOMETHING A LITTLE BIT SPECIAL HAS BEEN REVEALED 'ABRIELLE "ARNES
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Primetime The  Apprentice ""# PM 7EDNESDAYS &OURTEEN PEOPLE ONE SIX lGURE PRIZE )T COULD BE ALMOST ANY RE ALITY SHOW BUT IT ISN T 4HE PRIZE ISN T CASH AND A FAST TRACK TO : LIST CELEBRITY STATUS n IT S A JOB WITH A a SALARY !ND THESE AREN T THE TYPICAL TASKS TO SEE HOW MUCH PEOPLE ARE WILLING TO DEGRADE THEMSELVES TO APPEAR ON 46 4HESE CHALLENGES ARE ALL PART OF AN EXTENDED JOB INTERVIEW 4HIS IS 4HE !PPRENTICE 4HE !PPRENTICE BEGAN IN THE 53 WHERE IT HAS ALREADY COM PLETED FOUR SEASONS )N "RITAIN THE EMPLOYER IS THE ACERBIC FORTH RIGHT 3IR !LAN 3UGAR ALWAYS READY WITH A HARSH GLARE AND A SNAPPY PUT DOWN (IS TWO ADVISORS EACH
MONITOR ONE OF THE TEAMS OF CAN DIDATES THROUGHOUT EACH SHOW AND REPORT BACK TO HIM ON THE TEAM S SUCCESS IN THAT WEEK S CHAL LENGE "ASED ON THESE REPORTS AND JUSTIlCATIONS PUT FORWARD IN THE NERVE WRACKING BOARDROOM SES SION THAT ENDS EACH EPISODE ONE PERSON WILL BE lRED EACH WEEK UNTIL ONE REMAINS %ACH CHALLENGE PUTS THE TEAMS IN THE FRONT LINE 4HEY MAY HAVE TO BUY FRUIT AND VEG AND RUN THE MOST PROlTABLE MARKET STALL THEY CAN 4HEY MAY HAVE TO PRODUCE A CHARITY CALENDAR AND THEN SELL THAT CALENDAR TO SHOP BUYERS 7HAT EVER THE CHALLENGE THOUGH IT IS TESTING REAL BUSINESS SKILLS PAR
Suds
9OUR DOSE OF SOAP NEWS (OLLYOAKS 7OW #OULD (OLLYOAKS EVER GET MORE EXCITING THAN THE TREATS LINED UP FOR VIEWERS THIS WEEK 4HIS REVIEWER DOESN T THINK SO 4ONY WEARING LEATHER INVOLVED FOR A PROTEST #ON TROVERSIAL .AUGHTY 2HYS GETTING A BLOODY NOSE AND AROUS ING 3ARAH S SUSPICIONS $ANGEROUS -ARK AND 'ILLY GETTING INTO A lGHT IN A KITCHEN !GGRESSIVE )T ALL SEEMS TO BE GO -EANWHILE NEXT WEEK "ECCA BUYS SOME SAUCY UNDERWEAR FOR HER SEX LIFE WITH *USTIN -ARK AND 'ILLY GET INTO YET AN OTHER SCRAP IN THE HOSPITAL AND 3AM S COURT CASE CAUSES SHOCKWAVES 3OUNDS LIKE MUST SEE 46 7ALTER 0LINCH .EIGHBOURS )T WAS HANKIES AT THE READY THIS WEEK ON 2AMSAY 3TREET AS !LEX S CONDITION DECLINED AND THEY WERE FORCED TO STAGE THE WEDDING IN 3USAN S LOUNGE BEFORE HE POPPED HIS CLOGS 4HUS IT WAS A SLIGHTLY UNCONVENTIONAL SOAP WEDDING THE GROOM SPENT MOST OF THE CEREMONY STOOPED OVER AT AN UNNATURAL ANGLE AND SWEATING PROFUSELY SURELY THIS IS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN UNTIL THE HONEYMOON )T WAS HEARTBREAKING TO WATCH +ARL S TROUBLED FACE AS HE SIGNED THE WITNESS FORM OBVIOUSLY DISTRAUGHT AT SEEING 3USAN DECLARE HER LOVE FOR ANOTHER EVEN IF THEIR @WEDDED BLISS ONLY LASTED FOR COUPLE OF HOURS 3O NOT ONLY IS 3USAN NOW A WIDOW SHE HAS BEEN LUMBERED WITH HIS THREE CHILDREN SINCE WILD CHILD +ATYA MADE AN APPEARANCE !LSO THIS WEEK 3TU WENT UNDERCOVER IN THE PRISON IN AN ATTEMPT TO CATCH 2OO CAUSING TROUBLE WITH 3TINGRAY AND $YLAN YET HAS SO FAR BEEN UNSUCCESSFUL AS 2OO SAW STRAIGHT THROUGH HIS CUNNING DISGUISE WHICH CONSISTED OF A BIT OF STUMBLE AND DEEP VOICE 3TAY TUNED FOR DEVELOPMENTS IN THE 3TEPH AND -AX STORYLINE PERHAPS $REW REALLY WAS TRY ING TO TELL HER SOMETHING 2EBECCA (UNT
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TICULARLY SKILLS AT WORKING IN AND MANAGING TEAMS AND HANDLING COMMUNICATION 0ART OF THE EN JOYMENT OF WATCHING THE SHOW IS SEEING WHERE THE CONTESTANTS GET IT HORRIBLY WRONG AS WITH .ARGIS PRESENTATIONS IN EPISODE OF THIS SERIES WHICH SHOULD BE USED AS TRAINING VIDEOS TO SHOW HOW NOT TO PRESENT 4HE SAME EPISODE SAW THREE PEOPLE REDUCED TO TEARS AT VARIOUS TIMES WHICH HUMANISES THEM BUT ALSO MAKES THE VIEWER WONDER JUST HOW WELL THESE PEO PLE WOULD HAVE COPED UNDER THE PRESSURE OF WORKING FOR 3IR !LAN &OR THOSE OF US WHO HAVE WORKED THERE ARE AN AWFUL LOT OF FAMILIAR TYPES AND SITUATIONS HERE
"OTH SERIES HAVE HAD THE BRAGGART WHO CAN T TAKE CRITICISM THE OVER EMOTIONAL ONE THE OVER REACHER THE QUIET ACHIEVER %VEN IF YOU HAVE NO INTEREST IN WORKING IN BUSINESS THE SKILLS THAT 3IR !LAN IS LOOKING FOR ARE BASIC ONES USE FUL IN ACADEMIA CHARITY WORK AND
LIFE IN GENERAL !ND THAT S SETTING ASIDE THE PURE ENTERTAINMENT VAL UE OF SEEING OTHER PEOPLE SUFFER WHICH AFTER ALL IS ONE OF THE BIG GEST DRAWS OF REALITY 46 !ND SO FAR OUR MONEY S ON !NSELL $EREK *OHNSTON
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+ING OF THE (ILL a 2ELEASED &INALLY n A $6$ RELEASE FOR +ING OF THE (ILL THE ANIMATED SITCOM ABOUT A FAMILY OF LOVABLE REDNECKS IN !MERICA S $EEP 3OUTH THAT AT ONE POINT SEEMED POISED TO STEAL 4HE 3IMPSONS CROWN OF CARTOON GLORY -ORE !MERICAN THAN 'EORGE 7 KNOCKING BACK A #OORS AND MUNCHING A CHEESEBURGER +ING OF THE (ILL PROVIDES A RUNNING SATIRICAL VIEW OF LIFE IN 4EXAS AS SEEN THROUGH THE EYES OF THE UPTIGHT (ANK (ILL AND HIS FAMILY 4HE (ILLS AND THEIR NEIGHBOURS ARE GROSSLY EXAGGER ATED STEREOTYPES OF THE $EEP 3OUTH MENTALITY WITH CONSTANT BEER SWIG GING AND DRAWLING AND THE lRST SEASON PROVIDES SOME GLIMPSES OF WHAT THEY CALL THEIR LIFE 4HIS RELEASE GATHERS ALL EPISODES OF SERIES WITH SOME
CRACKING AND HILARIOUS MOMENTS APLENTY IN EACH EPISODE 4HE PILOT EPISODE FOR EXAMPLE USES THE CLAS SIC COMEDIC DEVICE OF MISINTERPRE TATION AS SON "OBBY AND (ANK S WIFE 0EGGY EACH GAIN BRUISES FROM AN ACCIDENT WITH A BASEBALL LEAD ING TO ACCUSATIONS OF (ANK BEING A WIFE BEATER AND CHILD ABUSER $E SPITE THIS RATHER BLEAK SUBJECT MAT TER IT S INCREDIBLY FUNNY AND SOME BITS SUCH AS THE SOCIAL WORKER OVER HEARING "OBBY S IMPRESSION OF HIS FATHER THREATENING TO BEAT HIM AND REACHING THE LOGICAL ASSUMPTION THAT IT IS (ANK HIMSELF ARE LAUGH OUT LOUD GEMS %ACH EPISODE IS WORTHY OF INDIVIDUAL ATTENTION BUT THEY COMPRISE ONE AMAZING WHOLE AND PAGES COULD BE WRITTEN ABOUT EVERY HALF HOUR NUGGET 4HE PLOTS
THEMSELVES FOLLOW THEMES THAT TIE IN WITH THE FAMILY S AREA AND UP BRINGING SUCH AS THE APPEARANCE OF 7ILLIE .ELSON AND A VISIT TO A RIDE ON LAWNMOWER CONVENTION BUT THIS DOESN T ALIENATE VIEWERS AT ALL AND INSTEAD GIVES AN OVERVIEW OF LIFE IN THE $EEP 3OUTH 7ITHOUT THIS SHOW IT S DEBATEA BLE WHETHER OTHER ANIMATED PRIME TIME SHOWS SUCH AS &AMILY 'UY AND &UTURAMA WOULD HAVE TAKEN OFF AND IT S CLEAR TO SEE THE MASSIVE INmUENCE THAT THE PROGRAMME HAD ON -Y .AME )S %ARL WHICH SIMI LARLY MAKES GENTLE YET CUTTING POKES AT THE SAME TYPE OF PEOPLE &OR ANY ONE WHO LOVES THEIR COMEDY THIS SERIES IS DElNITELY SOMETHING THAT DESERVES WATCHING #HRISTOPHER (YDE
Telly  Classics 2ED $WARF )N THE LATE S TWO ALTERNATIVE COMEDY WRITERS n 2OB 'RANT AND $OUG .AYLOR n HAD A PRETTY SPEC TACULARLY AWFUL IDEA FOR A SITCOM )T WAS TO BE SET MILLION YEARS IN THE FUTURE ON A SPACESHIP WITH THE MAIN CHARACTERS BEING ONE HUMAN BEING A HOLOGRAM OF ANOTHER A CREATURE DESCENDED FROM CATS AND A ROBOT /BVIOUSLY THE ""# EXECS WERE TOO BUSY THINKING ABOUT 4HATCHER 2IK -AYALL AND !)$3 CAMPAIGNS AND
HOPING TO lLL A 9OUNG /NES SHAPED GAP IN THE LATE S COMEDY VOID SOMEHOW COMMISSIONED IT "ASED AROUND THE @ODD COUPLE RELATIONSHIP OF THE PHILANTHROPIC ,ISTER AND THE EVER COMPLACENT 2IMMER THE SHOW WORKED TO A SUC CESSFUL SITCOM STRUCTURE WITH THE PASTICHE BACKDROP OF SCI l ALLOW ING FOR SEEMINGLY ENDLESS PLOT VEN TURES 4HOSE OPEN MINDED ENOUGH TO THROW OFF THE SHACKLES OF 3TAR
4REK PHOBIA WERE DELIGHTED BY THE ORIGINAL AND REFRESHING APPROACH TO A SEEMINGLY MORIBUND GENRE AND THE SHOW RAN FOR EIGHT SERIES ,ATER $6$ RE MASTERINGS AND A SLIGHT STAY BEYOND ITS WELCOME MAY HAVE TARNISHED ITS ONCE FAULTLESS REPUTATION BUT IT WILL ALWAYS BE A GEM OF "RITISH TELLY AND WILL HOPE FULLY STAY IN THE PUBLIC S CONSCIENCE FOR THE NEXT MILLION YEARS 0HILIP 2OBINSON
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Grinding  the  Axe
)N RECENT YEARS MANY OF OUR FAVOURITE 46 SHOWS HAVE BEEN CANCELLED DUE TO POOR RATINGS OR ENDED DESPITE A FEW MORE SEASONS MORE IN THEM "UT IS THE REASON FOR THIS ACTUALLY RATINGS OR DOES IT BOIL DOWN TO MONEY GRABBING 46 EXECUTIVES .ATASHA +UNDAIKER TAKES A LOOK
4
HERE S NOTHING QUITE LIKE HAV ING YOUR FAVOUR ITE 46 SHOW AXED BY CALLOUS NETWORK EXECU TIVES THAT ARE INTERESTED ONLY IN THE BOTTOM LINE LEAVING FANS TO WONDER ABOUT CHARACTERS AND STO RYLINES THEY D FOLLOWED FOR MONTHS IF NOT YEARS ALL SUDDENLY GONE 1UITE FRANKLY IT SEEMS THAT QUALITY TELEVISION IS GOING TO THE DOGS IN FAVOUR OF MAKING A FEW BUCKS )T S NOT AN UNFAMILIAR OCCURRENCE CON SIDERING THE VAST NUMBER OF MULTI NATIONAL CORPORATIONS SCOURING THE GLOBE OR THE lERCE COMPETITIVENESS OF THE DOG EAT DOG WORLD OF INDUS TRY BUT IF WORLD CINEMA CAN GO IN FAVOUR OF QUALITY MOVIES WHY ISN T TELEVISION FOLLOWING SUIT 4AKE A LOOK AT 4HE 3IMPSONS A BRILLIANT AND UNIQUE CARTOON SHOW CASING ONE OF THE MOST DYSFUNC TIONAL YET LOVEABLE FAMILIES EVER )TS SUCCESS HAS TRANSCENDED NORMAL CONVENTION TO THE POINT WHERE RE PEAT EPISODES RATE AS HIGHLY AS lRST RUNS AND THE ENGINE SHOWS NO SIGNS OF SLOWING .OT ONLY IS IT THE LONG EST RUNNING !MERICAN SITCOM AND ANIMATED PROGRAM BUT IS SET TO FOL LOW UP WITH A BIG SCREEN 3IMPSONS MOVIE (OWEVER AFTER BEING ON OUR SCREENS FOR NEARLY TWO DECADES AND NOW IN ITS SEVENTEENTH SEASON IN THE 53 HAS IT SIMPLY BECOME TOO BORING 4HE SAME CAN BE SAID FOR THE GREAT !MERICAN SITCOMS LIKE &RIENDS &RAISER AND 3EINFELD WHO HAVE ALL CHOSEN TO OPT OUT ON A HIGH RATHER THAN WAITING FOR THE SHOW TO BE SO FAR GONE THAT EVEN WATCHING #ROSS ROADS WOULD BE BETTER THAN ENDUR ING THE DIRE PLOTLINES OF THE SHOW IN ITS TWENTIETH SERIES (OWEVER IF THERE IS SCOPE FOR WELL WRITTEN AND ENTERTAINING SCRIPTS THEN WHY NOT GO AHEAD &ANS OF WILL KNOW THAT EVEN A SHOW WITH AN OSTENSIBLY IDENTICAL FORMAT CAN BE AS GREAT AS LONG AS THE PLOT IS CAP TIVATING "UT IT SEEMS THAT AMAZING SCRIPTS ARE JUST NOT ENOUGH ANY MORE 3HOWS LIKE 3MALLVILLE DRAW IN LARGE AUDIENCES AS WELL AS CASHING IN BUT SOMETIMES THE PLOTS SEEM TO BE RIDICULOUS NAMELY THE SHEER AMOUNT AND VARIETY OF THE METEOR ROCK MUTATED VILLAINS THAT THE HERO #LARK HAS TO lGHT EACH WEEK )T BEGS THE QUESTION n HOW MANY TIMES CAN A PERSON REALLY BE AFFECTED BY +RYP
TONITE 3IMILARLY IN THE SUPERNATU RAL DRAMA #HARMED WHICH HAS RE CENTLY ANNOUNCED ITS CANCELLATION THE PLOT LINES HAVE BECOME TOO THIN AND MONOTONOUS .EVERTHE LESS ONE MUST APPLAUD THE SHOWS EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS +ERN 3PELLING AND 6INCENT AND A NUMBER OF CREW MEMBERS WHO OPTED TO REDUCE THEIR OWN SALARIES IN ORDER TO ALLOW THE SHOW S QUALITY TO BE KEPT UP FOR THE lNAL SEASON )N THE PAST RATINGS WERE THE BE ALL AND END ALL OF NETWORK DECI SIONS WITH SHOWS LIKE 4HE "EVERLY (ILLBILLIES ATTRACTING MILLION VIEWERS A WEEK IN THE LATE S 4ODAY $ESPERATE (OUSEWIVES IS CONSIDERED A BLOCKBUSTER BECAUSE IT ATTRACTS AN AVERAGE OF MILLION VIEWERS n RATINGS WHICH WOULD HAVE LED TO CANCELLATION IN THE PAST 3O WHAT IS THE MAIN DRIVE FOR !MERI CAN TELEVISION -ONEY SEEMS THE MAIN ANSWER 4HE MAIN PROBLEM WITH A LONG RUNNING 46 SERIES IS THAT PRODUCTION COSTS TEND TO CLIMB AS THEY GET OLDER AND MORE SUCCESSFUL LARGELY DUE TO SALARY INCREASES MAKING IT HARDER FOR NETWORKS TO RECOUP THEIR INVEST MENT TH (EAVEN IS A PERFECT EX AMPLE )RRESPECTIVE OF HAVING SOME OF THE HIGHEST lGURES FOR A FAMILY DRAMA AND LASTING SUCCESSFULLY INTO
ITS TENTH YEAR THE SHOW HAS GOT THE CHOP %XECS SAY THEY ARE NOT CANCEL LING TH (EAVEN BECAUSE OF POOR RATINGS IT IS THEIR SECOND HIGHEST RATED SHOW BUT BECAUSE IT COSTS TOO MUCH LOSING THE COMPANY MILLION A YEAR )T LL BE INTERESTING TO SEE WHAT OTHER HIGH GROSSING SHOWS ARE AXED AFTER THE TWO MAJOR @TEEN AND TWENTIES ORIENTATED TELEVISION NETWORKS 7" AND 50. MERGE IN 3EPTEMBER 4HE SURPRISE EXIT OF THE YEAR WAS 4HE 7EST 7ING THE CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED AND MULTI %MMY WIN NING POLITICAL DRAMA !FTER SEVEN SEASONS THE SHOW HAS NOT FALTERED IN THE STANDARD OF ITS PLOTLINES BUT A DROP IN RATINGS HAS FORCED ."# TO PULL THE PLUG .OT SURPRISING CONSIDERING EACH OF THE PRINCIPAL CHARACTERS MAKES APPROXIMATELY AN EPISODE WITH -ARTIN 3HEEN RUMOURED TO EARN PER EPISODE !LSO SET TO DEPART THIS YEAR IS THE SUPREMELY FUNNY -AL COLM IN THE -IDDLE 7ILL AND 'RACE 4HAT S 3HOW AND ,OST CREATOR ** !BRAM S SERIES !LIAS *OSS 7HEDON S SCI l WESTERN &IREmY IS ONE OF THE MORE UNFORTU NATE TELEVISION GEMS TO BE LOST TO 46 HEAVEN IN RECENT YEARS 0REVIOUSLY SCI l AND FANTASY SHOWS TENDED TO HAVE SHORT SHELF LIVES 3TARGATE NOT
)T SEEMS THAT QUALITY 46 IS GOING TO THE DOGS IN FAVOUR OF MAKING A FEW BUCKS
INCLUDED BUT WITH 3& GOING MORE MAINSTREAM IT IS SURPRISING THIS SU PERBLY WRITTEN SHOW WAS AXED 4HE SERIES WAS BROADCAST ON THE &/8 NETWORK IN AND WAS CAN CELLED AFTER ONLY ELEVEN EPISODES LARGELY ATTRIBUTED TO THE ACTIONS OF NETWORK WHICH BROADCASTED THE EPISODES OUT OF CHRONOLOGICAL OR DER MAKING THE PLOT MUCH MORE DIFlCULT TO FOLLOW AND AIRING THE INTENDED PILOT EPISODE WHICH CON TAINED MOST OF THE CHARACTER INTRO DUCTIONS AND BACK STORY AT A LATER DATE 4HE SHOW WOWED WHAT LITTLE AUDIENCE IT HAD BOASTING ENDEAR ING CHARACTERS HIGH EMOTION QUICK WIT AND THE CHARACTERISTIC 7HEDON ESQUE HUMOUR THAT "UFFY FANS ARE USED TO ,UCKILY STRONG $6$ SALES AND FAN CAMPAIGING LED lLM EXECS TO PRODUCE A FEATURE lLM BASED ON THE SERIES CALLED @3ERENITY WHICH WON THE ""# S &),- lLM OF THE YEAR AWARD /F COURSE AUDIENCE SIZE STILL MATTERS A LOT IN PRIME TIME NET WORK TELEVISION "UT NOW OTHER FACTORS ARE INmUENCING THE CANCELLA TION DECISION $6$S HAVE BECOME SUCH A GOLD MINE WITH PROlT MAR GINS OFTEN REACHING OVER PERCENT MAKING BROADCASTERS INCREASINGLY OPEN TO THE IDEA OF KEEPING A RAT INGS CHALLENGED SHOW ON THE AIR ESPECIALLY ONE WITH A DEDICATED FAN BASE IN ORDER TO GENERATE MORE EPI SODES TO SELL LATER ON $6$ )T S NOT THE lRST TIME THAT $6$ SALES HAVE SAVED A SERIES FROM ITS DEMISE !MERICAN ANIMATED SITCOM &AMILY 'UY AFTER ITS CANCELLATION IN SOLD MILLION $6$S IN THE lRST YEAR SURPASSING EVERY OTHER 46 BASED $6$ RELEASED IN INCLUDING 3EX AND THE #ITY AND &RIENDS &AN EFFORTS INCLUDING A STRONG PETITION AND EVEN ORGANISED STREET PROTESTS FAILED TO SAVE THE SHOW (OWEVER THE SIG NIlCANT #ARTOON .ETWORK RATINGS COMBINED WITH THE UNPRECEDENTED $6$ SALES LED TO THE REVIVAL OF THE SERIES IN #URRENTLY &RIENDS IS RUMOURED TO BE RETURNING WITH FOUR ONE HOUR SPECIALS ON THE CARDS AND EVEN A POSSIBLE CONTINUATION OF "UFFY AND !NGEL WITH A STRAIGHT TO $6$ MINISERIES ,ETS HOPE SOME OF THE MORE PROMISING SERIES CAN @DO A &AMILY 'UY AND MAKE THE NETWORKS THINK TWICE ABOUT CANCEL LING QUALITY SHOWS AND MAYBE JUST MAYBE YOUR FAVOURITE SHOW WILL RISE AGAINx
Event The
9
Creative  Writing
Verbal  Di  ary-ea 'O ON LET IT ALL OUT 3END YOUR VERBAL DIARY EA TO CONCRETE CREATIVEWRITING UEA AC UK ) ALWAYS FORGET HOW MUCH ) HATE .ORWICH ON 3ATURDAYS UNTIL ) TRY TO NEGOTIATE THE PAVEMENTS lLLED WITH SHOPPERS PRAMS AND COUPLES WITH THEIR HANDS WELDED TOGETHER ) HAVE NOTHING AGAINST COUPLES EXCEPT WHEN THEY REFUSE TO LET GO OF EACH OTHERS HANDS FORCING YOU TO STEP OFF THE PAVEMENT AND WAIT FOR THEM TO GO THROUGH DOORWAYS .OW ) HAD NEVER REALLY NOTICED HOW ANNOYING THIS IS UNTIL MY FRIEND MENTIONED IT NOW IT IS ONE OF MY PET PEEVES AND ) AM A BITTER WOMAN ) ALWAYS BEGIN THE DAY WITH A POSITIVE ATTI TUDE GIVING WAY LETTING PEOPLE PASS BUT BY THE SEVENTH TIME MY BAG HAS BEEN KNOCKED OFF MY SHOULDER AND ) HAVEN T HEARD THE WORDS SORRY OF EXCUSE ME FOR THE LAST HOURS ) GET A BIT RATTY AND RESORT TO CHARGING
  -  Anna  Steward
Poetry A  boy  with  Fire  in  His  Boot
CLOSED SKIN CREASED IN A THEATRICAL DISTORTION
4HE BED SPRUNG UP ALARMED AND THE COVERS PARTED #URTAINS BLINKED TOO OLD FOR ALL THIS RUSHING AROUND AND SO THE FARMERS CAME TO NOTICE THE HISS OF A SUNRISE PASSING
OF GOOD TIMES GONE BY 4HE FARM ERS WRUNG DRY THEIR HANDS AND DAMPED A mOCK OF BROOMSTICKS THAT COULD NO MORE BEAT mAMES INTO LEAVES THAN THEY COULD SHUSH
PREMATURELY THROUGH THE 4SITSIKAMMA 0INE AND FERNS WERE BELLOWING WAVING FROM THE VALLEY AND SNAPPING VINES WHIPPED THE NARROW PATHS THAT SQUIRMED TO DEAD ENDS
THE NIGHT S GRUFF AND SMOKY COUGH 7ITH A mICK OF THE WRIST PHLEGM AND SPARKS SPAT OUT AS SOMEWHERE A SPRAY OF PIGEONS CHASED AFTER BREADCRUMBS
4HIS IS THE CRIPPLED FOREST )TS TREE MUSHROOMS PUCKER UP THEIR WITHERED LIPS BUT THE LEAVES CURL AWAY AS A TICKLED FOOT CONSUMED
!ND WHEN AT LAST THE mAMES CAME TO THE OLD TREE THE MEN S HATS LIFTED AND THEY TURNED THEIR HEADS QUICKLY AWAY LIKE MATCHSTICKS LIT 7ITH PEEPS AND POPS THE BRANCHES BATTLED TO A PATHETIC SURRENDER
(IS SPIRIT WELLED FROM THE TREES IN A CLEAR SAP THAT RAN TO DARK STAINS ON THE SOIL 4HE lRES MET
THEIR lNGERS LACED OVER THE NEW BARREN CLEARING
)) 4HE lRE WAS KNEE HIGH TO HIM AS HE WAS KNEE HIGH TO THE lRE lGHTING CONVOY &ROM THERE AN EMBER LEAPT INTO HIS BOOT (E SQUEALED
7HITE PLUMES mUTTERED TRIUM PHANT "UT THIS WAS A VICTORY WHICH WIPED BY THE NORTH WIND THE SKY WAS QUICK TO FORGET #ONTRAFUEGO n
THROUGH A KETTLE IN HIS SKIN (E WAS A SMALL BOY ALMOST INVISIBLE RUNNING WITH A lRE IN
HE HAD DELIVERED ONE lRE TO THE MOUTH OF ANOTHER !LL THE INSECTS mUSHED TO THE EM BERS OVERHEAD WERE SNUFFED OUT BY mOATING BIRDS
BY SHYNESS )T WAS A lREBALL CARNI VAL ,ONG mAMING TONGUES SEIZED TWIGS AND BIRDS WHICH STIRRED TOO LATE AND MONKEYS SPAT AND CRACKLED THROUGH THE CANOPY )N THE mASHES OF LIGHT THE TREES WERE CAUGHT FROZEN
THEIR ARMS AKIMBO LIKE IN SOME CRAZY DISCO EYES
Prose
10
Event The
ERED HERSELF INTO THE RIVER LETTING IT LAP AROUND HER BELLY 5NDERWATER ) HEARD THE SOFT PUSH OF OARS AND BICKERING lSHER WOMEN ) WAS CURI OUS TO SEE IF A WOMAN WOULD PAY TAKA FOR A lSH WORTH ) NEVER FOUND OUT 4HE WOMEN GOT DISTRACTED WATCHING A PEASANT GIVING BIRTH IN THE 0ADMA -Y lRST BREATH WAS A THICK MOUTHFUL OF DIRTY WATER ) BOBBED UP QUICK AS A COCONUT AFTER THAT AND SPAT IT BACK "UT THEN MY MOUTH lLLED WITH THE SMELL OF THE ROASTING lSH THAT 'AD UA IS FAMOUS FOR !T lRST THESE lSH HAVE A SMOKY TASTE AND SOME PEO PLE THINK THE TEXTURE IS TOO TOUGH 0ERSEVERE %VEN ) WOULD PAY TEN TAKA FOR THESE lSH NOW !FTER WE MOVED FROM 'ADUA MY AUNTY 3HOMA WOULD TRY AND MAKE THESE lSH FOR ME ) WOULD EAT THEM SWEETLY SMILE AND THINK HOW DIFFERENT THEY TASTED 3HOMA AUNTY ALWAYS TELLS ME THE SAME THINGS ABOUT MY BIRTH THAT ) WAS THE FAST EST LABOUR EVER KNOWN OF IN 'ADUA PROVINCE AND THAT WOMEN STILL WENT DOWN TO THE RIVER FOR THE NEXT FEW
BY A BREEZE AUCTIONING THE NIGHT CHEAP IN ASH ,IZARDS SLID DOWN THE MEN S GROINS IN THE HEAT AND WHEN HE SPREAD THE BACKlRE FROM THE BALLS OF HIS FEET SPIDERS SANG LIKE GONDOLAS THROUGH THE BLACK CHANNELS 4HE THIN NECKS OF THE TREES ROSE OPEN MOUTHED TO A GREY RAIN THAT FELL FOR DAYS
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Water  Roses  -  Alba’s  Birth
/N A DRY SALTY DAY IN /CTOBER A MOSQUITO SAT ON WARM SKIN ANTS AS BIG AS SPIDERS CRAWLED OVER GRASSES AS THEY DRIED OUT CURLING AT THE COR NERS MY BABA NIPPED THE TOPS OF PLANTS AND ) WAS BORN A FEW MINUTES AGO CREASED AND CONFUSED INTO THE 0ADMA 2IVER "ANGLADESH IS A COUNTRY OF RIV ERS 3NOW MELTS OFF THE (IMALAYAS AND THE MONSOON SEASONS IN .EPAL "HUTAN AND )NDIA SWELL THE 'ANGES AND "RAHMAPUTRA 2IVERS BEFORE THEY EVEN CROSS BORDERS INTO OUR COUNTRY POOLS BULGE OUT OF THE GROUND RIS ING UP LIKE BLISTERS LAKES BLOAT AND SLOP OVER THE SIDES AND ALL THIS WA TER POUNDS DOWN HILLS CHURNING UP ROADS ROOT CROPS PADDIES BECOME WEIRS SPREADING THICK BROWN DIS EASES SLURPED UP THE STEMS OF MARI GOLDS UNTIL SWOLLEN LEAVES SAG UNDER THE PLUMP WEIGHT AND EVERYONE SINKS THEIR KNEES INTO THE MUD AND PRAYS TO THE SON OF "RAHMA 4HE MONTH ) WAS BORN THERE WAS NO RAIN -Y MOTHER HOT AND EXPECT ANT HAD HEAVED HERSELF DOWN TO THE 0ADMA TO ESCAPE THE HEAT 3HE LOW
HIS BOOT LIFTING HIS LEGS LIKE A DEER (IS ENEMY WAS LEAF LITTER DEPLOYED
     -  Kate  Kilalea
The  Snake  Handlers
MONTHS THINKING THAT THEIR LABOURS WOULD BE AS EASY 9EARS LATER WHEN WE READ A NEWS STORY ABOUT WATER BIRTHS SHE CLAIMED THAT OUR FAMILY HAD DISCOVERED THIS IN 3HE WROTE TWO LETTERS TO THE $AILY 3TAR TELLING THEM EXACTLY THAT -Y AUNTY NEVER MENTIONED THE BAD THINGS .EVER TALKED ABOUT HOW AFTER ) WAS BORN EVERYTHING DRIED UP AND DIED THE PLANTS AT THE NURSERY THE CHICKENS THE BUFFALOS THE lSH IN THE PADDY lELDS MY GRANDMOTH ER THE PIGS AND ) GUESS BABA S PET GECKO BECAUSE HE NEVER SAW IT AGAIN 7E HAD NO FOOD BUT THERE WERE ALL THESE STORIES lLLED WITH FOOD AND READY ON THE BOOKSHELF SHREDS OF PAPER GOT STUCK BETWEEN BABA S FRONT TEETH AMMA GOT THE LAST PAGE OF (ANSEL AND 'RETEL CAUGHT IN HER THROAT MY TONGUE TURNED BLUE INK RAN FROM THE CORNERS OF MY MOUTH BY MIDDAY OUR BELLIES WERE FULL OF THINGS TO SAY WE HAD EATEN EVERY STORY ON THE MIDDLE SHELF
-  Anna  Steward
'AS WAS UP TO THREE DOLLARS A GALLON IN #ALIFORNIA
BUT CHEAP ENOUGH FOR US TO SPEND THE SUMMER COASTING ON CHURCH COLLECTION PLATESnDIXIE CUPS OF NICKELS AND QUARTERS WORTH OF UNLEADED ) PLAYED DRUMS A RICKETY SET WITH SHOT THREADS BY THE END OF THE SEASON THE SNARE NEVER STOPPED WOBBLING
ONLY THE DEAD CENTER WAS A STURDY PLACE TO HIT ) D FORGET AND SET IT SHAKING AGAIN WHEN THE SNAKES CAME OUT
! PREACHER OUTSIDE 3COTTSBORO GOT BIT HALFWAY THROUGH A SERVICE 4HEY D JUST TAKEN THE lRST SNAKES OUT OF THE PLYWOOD BOX AN )RISH CROSS SCRATCHED ON IN MARKER
AND IT GOT HIM IN THE SOFT MEAT NEXT TO HIS THUMB 4HEY TOLD US TO KEEP PLAYING (IS HAND SWELLED TAUTENED
LOOKING LIKE AN EGGPLANT OR MELON SWEATING IN THE SUN (E SAT PROPPED AGAINST A PEW WHILE THEY PRAYED AND STOMPED AROUND HIM ) COUNTED THE HOURS AS WE DROVE AWAY 7E WERE CROSSING INTO 4ENNESSEE WHEN HIS FEVER BROKE OR HE DIED 7E NEVER HEARD WHICH ) NEVER ASKED 4HEY LIKED HAVING AN AUDIENCEn THE OLD WOMAN IN AN IMPOSSIBLY OLD FASHIONED BLUE DRESS mICKING HER EYES TO MINE AS SHE PASSED A SNAKE ALONG 4HAT FALL WE WERE BACK TO COLLEGE SEASON AND ANYTHING WE COULD GETnHOUSE PARTIES BACKYARDS
WATCHING A BRUNETTE IN A TANK TOP DANCE FACING THE BAND FULL ON HER TITS BOUNC ING AGAINST HER SHIRT )F ) WERE MEANT TO PLAY CHURCH MUSIC ) WOULD SAY SHE SCARED ME MORE THAN THE SNAKES BUT ) M NOT
AND ) MISSED A CUE ) WAS SO BUSY TRYING TO KEEP FROM GETTING HARD 3OMETIMES WHEN THE MUSIC S GO ING AND ) SEE ONE OF THOSE GIRLS
EYES SHINY WET LOOKING AT US ON STAGE ) FEEL MY FACE SETTLE INTO THAT SAME LOOK THEY ALL HAD
LIPS PURSED TO KEEP FROM SMIRK ING LETTING YOU SEE ME DO WHAT ) DO WHAT YOU LL NEVER UNDERSTAND (ERE S YOUR DANGER ,ORD (ERE S YOUR PRIDE
-  Meghan  Purvis
3END )N 9OUR 0 S 0OETRY 0ROSE 0ICTURES 0LAYS 0LEASE EMAIL YOUR STUFF TO CONCRETE CREATIVEWRITING UEA AC UK TO APPEAR IN
The
Event
Feature
Feature
The  Sample  Life
!LTHOUGH THEY RE DOING PRETTY DAMN WELL MOST OF 4HE 'O 4EAM S MUSIC IS PRODUCED FROM SAMPLES #HRIS (YDE TALKS TO THEIR LEAD VOCALIST .INJA ABOUT THEIR STORY SO FAR AND JUST WHAT MAKES 4HE 'O 4EAM ABLE TO USE OTHER ARTISTS MUSIC LIKE IT WAS THEIR OWN 4HE LINE BETWEEN WHAT S ORIGINAL AND WHAT S RIPPING OFF SEEMS TO BECOME A LITTLE BIT BLURRED
!
N ASSERTIVE VOICE EXPLAINS v7E RE UN SUM UP ABLE 9OU CAN T SUM US UP 9OU CAN T TELL WHAT WE RE ABOUT FROM THE FRONT COVER OF THE ALBUM FROM THE SINGLE ARTWORK FROM THE MUSIC WE MAKE 7E RE UNPREDICTABLE 7E CAN DO ANY THING 7E RE UNPREDICTABLE AND UN SUM UP ABLE v 3TRONG AND POSSIBLY MADE UP WORDS FROM A GIRL CALLED .INJA "UT WHAT BAND IS SHE DESCRIB ING 7HITE 3TRIPES /ASIS .OPE NEI THER OF THOSE BUT A FERVENT LITTLE BAND CALLED 4HE 'O 4EAM 4HAT ALL IMPOR TANT EXCLAMATION MARK SHOWS HOW FULL OF YOUTHFUL VIM AND VIGOUR THEY ARE 4HE 'O 4EAM lRST MADE RUM BLINGS IN OUR CHARTS LAST YEAR WHEN THE lRST ALBUM @4HUNDER ,IGHTNING 3TRIKE GREW STEADILY POPULAR THROUGH WORD OF MOUTH DESPITE BEING RE LEASED IN AND CULMINATED IN THE RELEASE OF ,ADYmASH THIS YEAR A HYBRID OF OLD SCHOOL HIP HOP AND GIRL GROUPS FROM THE S 7ITH THEIR POPULARITY EVER GROWING THE BAND HAVE EMBARKED ON A JAUNT AROUND THE 5+ 4HE %VENT MANAGED TO COLLAR .INJA BACKSTAGE THE GROUP S hSASSYv
12
Event The
h7E RE UN SUM UP ABLE 9OU CAN T TELL WHAT WE RE ABOUT FROM THE FRONT COVER OF THE ALBUMv
SINGER RAPPER SPOKESPERSON AND QUIZ HER ABOUT LIFE ON THE 'O 4HE GROUP S UNIQUE STYLE IS ONE OF THEIR MAJOR SELLING POINTS BUT HOW THE MUSIC BEGINS MAY SOUND A LITTLE STRANGE WHEN YOU HEAR THE lNISHED PRODUCT h)AN ;0ARTON THE BAND S FOUNDER= USES A S SAMPLER AND A FOUR TRACK TAPE RECORDER TO MESH TO GETHER SONG IDEAS WITH SAMPLES HEARD ALL OVER THE PLACE LIKE S COP SHOWS AND KIDS 46 AND MOVIES AND STUFF (E THEN MIXED ALL THIS STUFF TOGETHER AND MADE THE ALBUM ALL BY HIMSELF IN THE BASEMENT OF HIS PARENTS HOUSE 3O YEAH AT THE BEGINNING )AN HIMSELF WAS ALL OF 4HE 'O 4EAM v )AN FOUND .INJA THROUGH AN IN TERNET MESSAGE BOARD AND THEY MET SOON AFTER EXCHANGING MESSAGES h)AN WAS LOOKING FOR A FEMALE RAPPER BUT NOT ONE OF THOSE "EYONCE 2 " STYLE WANNABE RAPPERS v 3HE ROLLS HER EYES AT THIS h) WENT TO A FEW OF THE PRAC TICES WHICH WERE REALLY GREAT BUT ) DIDN T REALLY REALISE ) WAS IN A BAND PROPERLY UNTIL ALL THESE CALLS STARTED COMING THROUGH REGULARLY AND )AN SAT US DOWN AND SAID @SOx EVERYONE HAP PY IN THIS BAND AND IT WAS LIKE @SHIT MAN v 3HE CHUCKLES AT THIS h)T MAKES ME REALLY HAPPY TO BE IN THIS GROUP ESPECIALLY AS ) DIDN T REALISE AND ) LOVE
EVERY SECOND OF IT v .INJA S FULL OF WORDS ABOUT THE -ERCURY -USIC 0RIZE SAYING THAT IT WAS A HUGE COMPLIMENT TO BE NOMI NATED FOR THE COVETED AWARD AND THAT DESPITE THE PRODUCTION ON THE BAND S ALBUM BEING MUCH LOWER BUDGET THAN THE OTHERS THEY WERE NOMINAT ED AND IT FELT GREAT 3HE COMMENTED THAT WHEREAS A "RITISH BAND WOULD HAVE TAKEN THE AWARD AND BUILT ON IT !NTONY AND THE *OHNSONS TOOK THE AWARD AND hDROPPED IT IN THE OCEAN ON THE WAY BACK HOMEv 3HE S CON lDENT HOWEVER THAT THEY WOULDN T HAVE NEEDED IT ANYWAY h7E DON T NEED THE AWARD TO LET PEOPLE KNOW WHAT THE MUSIC S ABOUT )F THEY LIKE IT THEN THEY LL BUY IT v SHE GRINS ! WHOLE HOST OF ADVERTISING EXECU TIVES SEEM TO HAVE COTTONED ON TO THE HAPPINESS OF 4HE 'O 4EAM S MUSIC AND ARE CHOMPING AT THE BIT TO USE ANY OF THEIR SONGS h7E RE COMPLETELY AGAINST ADVERTISERS USING OUR MUSIC TO SELL THEIR PRODUCTS 7E WANT THE MUSIC TO BE KNOWN FOR BEING MUSIC AND FOR NOTHING ELSE )T TAKES AN ELEMENT AWAY FROM THE MUSIC WHEN IT BECOMES LINKED TO A BRAND n LIKE THAT &LAT %RIC GUY THAT WAS ADVERTISING JEANS EVE RYONE REMEMBERS THE YELLOW PUPPET TAPPING ALONG BUT NOBODY REMEM
BERS WHAT THE NAME OF THE SONG WAS OR WHO MADE IT 7E VE TURNED DOWN 4 -OBILE 'ROLSCH -UELLER THE ,ABOUR 0ARTYxv 0LANS FOR A FURTHER SINGLE ARE BEING DEBATED AT THE MOMENT IN 'O (1 h4HE ALBUM HAS BEEN OUT FOR A WHILE SO THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO HAVE KNOWN ABOUT 4HE 'O 4EAM FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS AND SOME PEOPLE WHO ARE BRAND NEW TO WHAT WE DO 3O WE RE NOT TOO SURE 4HERE WILL BE A NEW ALBUM AND WE VE GOT SOME NEW SONGS BOUNCING ABOUT BUT WE RE GOING TO USE THE TIME OFF AFTER TOURING TO WORK A BIT HARDER ON THESE IDEAS AND POLISH THEM TO ALBUM STANDARDS v 4WO OF THE SONGS 4ITANIC 'RAFlTI AND 4HE )CE 3TORM ALREADY SOUND LIKE POTENTIAL FUTURE SINGLES !S THE INTERVIEW DRAWS TO A CLOSE WE lNALLY ASKED HER WHAT ASPECT OF 4HE 'O 4EAM SHE D MOST LIKE TO BE REMEMBERED h4HAT S A BIT lNAL ISN T IT 7E HOPE TO HAVE MADE A FAIR FEW ALBUMS MORE BEFORE PEOPLE START TALKING ABOUT THE END OF OUR CAREER ) M SURE )AN WOULD JUST WANT TO BE REMEMBERED FOR DOING SOMETHING A BIT DIFFERENT AND FOR CHANGING THE WHOLE WAY SAMPLES ARE USED IN MUSIC .ORMALLY THEY RE JUST PUT ON A LOOP BUT HE S COMPLETELY DESTROYED AND
CHANGED THE WHOLE CONCEPT BEHIND THAT ) THINK THAT S REALLY IMPORTANT AND ) THINK WE RE DIFFERENT FOR DOING THATv .INJA COMMENTS THAT THE WHOLE BAND WERE TAKING A CHANCE WITH THE ALBUM AS IT S A BIT DIFFERENT AND THAT NONE OF THEM KNEW HOW MUCH IT WOULD ALL TAKE OFF SHUNNING THE CON FORMITY AND NORMALITY OF WHAT CHART MUSIC IS TODAY AND BRINGING SOME THING FRESH TO MUSIC "UT ARE 4HE 'O 4EAM DOING SOMETHING THAT GOES AGAINST THE GRAIN OR IS IT JUST A CHANCE OF HAPPENING TO BE IN THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME 4HE !VALANCHES WERE DOING A SIMILAR THING TO WHAT 4HE 'O 4EAM ARE DOING NOW WAY BACK IN MIX ING SAMPLES WITH THEIR OWN MUSIC YET MAKING IT SOUND NEW AND ORIGINAL (OWEVER THE "RITISH PUBLIC DIDN T SEEM TO TAKE TO THEM AS WELL AS THEY HAVE WITH 4HE 'O 4EAM AND THEY FADED INTO OBSCURITY "ECK HAS ALSO BEEN WEAVING SAMPLES FROM DIVERSE SOURCES INTO HIS MUSIC FROM SOME YEARS WITH WHAT CAN MOST GENEROUSLY BE DESCRIBED AS A SLOW BURN SUCCESS (IS MOST RECENT RELEASE 'UERRO HAS MET WITH IMPRESSIVE CRITICAL ACCLAIM AND MODERATE CHART SUCCESS BUT SEEMS TO HAVE SURFACED MOST PROMINENTLY IN ADVERTISING AND BACKGROUND MU SIC ON 46 4HIS SUGGESTS THAT EVEN AN ARTIST WHO HAS EARNESTLY SET ABOUT CRAFTING SAMPLES INTO A DISTINCT AND IDIOSYNCRATIC STYLE IS STILL SUBJECT TO BEING SEEM SIMPLY AS A SIMPLY A JIN GLE MEISTER 7HEN GROUPS MIX SAMPLES INTO THEIR MUSIC DOES IT MAKE IT NEW OR DOES IT MAKE IT A REHASH 4HE LINE BE TWEEN WHAT S ORIGINAL AND WHAT S RIP PING OFF SEEMS TO BECOME A LITTLE BIT BLURRED /F COURSE IT TAKES TALENT TO DO ALL THIS AND MAKE AN ALBUM AS GOOD AS @4HUNDER ,IGHTNING 3TRIKE BUT IT COULD BE ARGUED THAT IT S UNIMAGINA TIVE TO STEAL SO MANY ELEMENTS FROM SO MANY DIFFERENT MEDIA )N A MUSI CAL CLIMATE WHERE ORIGINALITY SEEMS TO BE GOING OUT OF THE WINDOW WITH AN ENDLESS PARADE OF GUITAR GROUPS WIELDING THEIR DAD S *OY $IVISION ,0S AND THE ONLY hNEWv ACT OUT THERE IS A BUNCH OF SULKY TEENAGERS WITH AN AT TITUDE PROBLEM THAT ARE WORSHIPPED BY ALL THE MUSIC PRESS CLUE THINK CHILLY APES DESPITE NOT REALLY BE ING THAT DIFFERENT TO BANDS FROM PAST DECADES IT SEEMS THAT SOMETHING THAT BREAKS FROM THE NORM EVEN SLIGHTLY WILL BE PRAISED FOR BEING MORE FRESH THAN THE AIR AT 3NOWDON S PEAK 3AM PLING IS SOMETHING THAT IS UNUSUAL IN THE CHARTS AND WHILE IT S FANTASTIC THAT A BAND HAVE BECOME AS PROLIlC AS 4HE 'O 4EAM HAVE WHEN SAMPLES PLAY SUCH A MAJOR PART OF THE MUSIC IT DOES SEEM TO BE A CASE OF HAVING THE RIGHT EXPOSURE AND BEING IN THE RIGHT MAGAZINES -AYBE A WAVE OF IMITATORS WILL SPAWN AND IN A COUPLE OF YEARS THE CHARTS WILL BECOME CLOGGED WITH THEIR MUSIC AND WE LL BE GROANING FOR SOME NEW INNOVATIVE GUITAR BANDS )N THE MEANTIME 4HE 'O 4EAM ARE ALL WE VE GOT AND MAYBE THAT S THE WAY IT SHOULD BE
Event 13 The
Music
Placebo Golden   Sounds Meds
4HE "EATLES
3GT 0EPPER S ,ONELY (EARTS #LUB "AND %VERYONE S HEARD OF 4HE "EATLES AT SOME POINT IN THEIR LIVES IF YOU HAVEN T THEN QUITE FRANKLY YOU DON T DESERVE TO EVEN BE READING THESE MUSIC PAGES /VER THE COURSE OF A DECADE 4HE "EATLES RELEASED AROUND ALBUMS WHICH ALL REGULARLY FEATURE HIGHLY IN @'REATEST !LBUMS %VER POLLS AND DESERVEDLY SO 3GT 0EPPER S WAS ISSUED IN TO BOTH CRITICAL AND PUBLIC DELIGHT AND NEARLY YEARS LATER IT STILL SOUNDS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND IT S DEBATEABLE WHETHER ANY BAND HAS BETTERED THE ALBUM IN THAT TIME PERIOD 0ART OF ITS GENIUS IS HOW THE VARIOUS GENRES RUB AGAINST EACH OTHER WITHOUT TARNISHING ANY OF THEIR INDIVID UAL GLOSS THE SITARS OF 'EORGE (ARRISON S 7ITHIN 9OU 7ITHOUT 9OU FADE INTO MUSIC HALL SING ALONG 7HEN ) M 3IXTY &OUR AND IT SOUNDS PERFECTLY NATURAL !ND THEN THERE IS THE SHEER QUALITY OF THE SONGS 2INGO 3TARR S CHARMING 7ITH ! ,ITTLE (ELP &ROM -Y &RIENDS THE lRST PROPER "RITISH PSYCHEDELIA TRACK ,UCY IN THE 3KY WITH $IAMONDS AND ,ENNON S HAUNTING ! $AY IN THE ,IFE ARE ALL TRUE GEMS 7HATEVER COMPRISES IT S SHEER BRILLIANCE IT S TAG OF "EST "EATLES !LBUM NOT AN AC COLADE GIVEN OUT LIGHTLY IS COMPLETELY DESERVED AND WITH ALL THIRTEEN SONGS BE ING OUTSTANDING IT TRULY IS ONE OF THE BEST ALBUMS EVER 4HE "EATLES ARE THE FOUNDATION OF EVERY TRENDY GUITAR GROUP ABOUT )F YOU DON T HAVE IT DON T ASK ANY QUESTIONS *UST GO OUT AND BUY IT 9OU WON T REGRET IT #HRIS (YDE
Albums
%NGERICA 4HERE !RE .O (APPY %NDINGS 4HE @COMEDY METAL GENRE IS A LOT LIKE THAT $OUBLE $ECKER BAR THAT SITS IN THE VENDING MACHINE 9OU ASSUME THAT SOMEONE MUST LIKE THEM YOU DON T KNOW WHO FRANK LY YOU DON T CARE WHO AS LONG AS YOU AREN T INVOLVED IN ANY WAY %NGERICA ARE A BIT LIKE WATCHING "EAVIS AND "UTTHEAD BUT WITH #A THARTIC GUITARS AND SINISTER VOCALS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND WHICH WORKS AS WELL AS YOU MIGHT EXPECT h9OU FANTASISE OF 'ERMAN WIVES IN LEATHER 4HE DRAMA QUEEN DRINKS OVALTINE FOR SHELTER YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND PUCKER UP WHICHEVER v FOR EXAMPLE %XSQUEEZE ME "AKING POWDER 4HE STAND OUT TRACK ON THE ALBUM IS @4HE 3MELL WHICH DEM ONSTRATES THE SAME LYRICAL MATURITY AS MUCH OF THE REST OF THE ALBUM @LIAR CHEATER BOGEY EATER LOOK OUT EVERYONE HERE COMES 0ETER FOR INSTANCE BUT IS SAVED BY A SOAR ING INFECTIOUS CHORUS )T IS HARD TO TELL WHERE EXACTLY %NGERICA S AP PEAL LIES IN THAT UNPRECEDENTED NO MAN S LAND BETWEEN THE $OWN LOAD &ESTIVAL CROWD AND THE INDIE
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SCENESTERS WHICH SHOULD ENSURE THAT NEITHER GO FOR IT %NGERICA HAVE UNDENIABLE MUSICAL ABILITY YET THE CONCOCTION OF METAL EMO PROG ROCK AND VOCALIST $AVID 'ARDNER S STAND UP JUST EQUATES TO A BAFmING AND UNDRINKABLE COCKTAIL !LEX !LLEN
0URE 2EASON 2EVOLUTION 4HE $ARK 4HIRD
! BAND NAMED 0URE 2EASON 2EVO LUTION WAS NEVER LIKELY TO PRODUCE A TWENTY MINUTE LONG THRASH PUNK ALBUM AND IT IS HARDLY SURPRIS ING THAT THE TOTAL RUNNING TIME OF THIS ALBUM COMES CLOSE TO THE HOUR MARK 4HE ALBUM ONLY FEA TURES NINE TRACKS AND MUCH LIKE THE -ARS 6OLTA S @&RANCES THE -UTE TWO OF THESE TRACKS ARE DIVIDED UP INTO SUITES 4HE $ARK 4HIRD IS THE SECOND ALBUM BY ,ONDON S 0URE 2EASON 2EVOLUTION WHO FORMED AT 7ESTMINSTER 5NIVERSITY 4HIS RECORD IS INTERESTING TO SAY THE LEAST AND IMPOSSIBLE TO PIGEON HOLE BE CAUSE IT S HARD TO NAME ANY OTHER BANDS THAT THEY MIGHT SOUND LIKE 4HE BAND ARE CERTAINLY AS AMBI TIOUS AS 0INK &LOYD AND AT TIMES
-EDS 0LACEBO S lFTH ALBUM AND THE lRST SINCE S OUTSTAND ING 3LEEPING 7ITH 'HOSTS HERALDS THE BAND TAKING THE SOUND THEY VE BUILT ON SINCE AND EXPANDING ON IT TO MAKE A MUCH TASTIER SOUND THAT LEAVES A BETTER AFTERTASTE 7HILE IT S BEEN HERALDED AS THEIR hBACK TO BASICSv ALBUM AND MIXING THE VARIOUS ELEMENTS THAT WORKED THE BEST FROM PREVIOUS RELEASES IT S ALSO CLEAR THAT THEIR SINGLES COLLEC TION /NCE -ORE 7ITH &EELING HAS BEEN A MASSIVE INmUENCE ON THE ALBUM S RECORDING AS ALL SONGS ON HERE COULD EASILY BE SINGLES 0ERHAPS NOT NECESSARILY 4OP 4EN OR EVEN 4OP 4WENTY SINGLES BUT SIN GLES NONETHELESS .OW HOW MANY ALBUMS CAN YOU SAY THAT ABOUT (IGHLIGHTS INCLUDE THE BROODING n WELL MORE DOWNRIGHT MENACING n 3PACE -ONKEY THE .INE )NCH .AILS ESQUE INDUSTRIAL METAL OF )N FRARED THE ETHEREAL "ROKEN 0ROM ISE IN WHICH PULSING GUITARS MAKE THE SONG SOUND ALIVE AND A GUEST APPEARANCE FROM -ICHAEL 3TIPE SOMEHOW WORKS INCREDIBLY WELL AND TITLE TRACK -EDS IN WHICH "RIAN -OLKO AND !LISON -OSSHART OF 4HE +ILLS THROW LINES ABOUT NEEDING THEIR MEDICINE TO EACH OTHER OVER A POUNDING DRUM BEAT 0ERHAPS THE BIGGEST SURPRISES ON THE ALBUM ARE
THOSE WHICH THROW THE LISTENER OFF GUARD COMPLETELY n THE PIANO LED AND SINISTER NURSERY RHYME STYLE )N 4HE #OLD ,IGHT /F -ORNING WHICH SOUNDS LIKE IT COULD lT ONTO $ANNY %LFMAN S SOUNDTRACK TO 4HE .IGHTMARE "EFORE #HRISTMAS AND 3ONG 4O 3AY 'OODBYE WHICH MIXES CLASSIC 0LACEBO WITH n GASP n SYNTHS AND MAKES A PERFECT CLOSE TO THE ALBUM 7HILE IT MAY BE A BIT 0LACEBO BY NUMBERS AT TIMES THIS IS DElNITELY NOT A BAD THING YOU
IN THE ALBUM ROCK HARDER THAN ,ED :EPPELIN 4HE VOCALS ON THIS ALBUM ARE ALMOST ALL RECORDED IN HARMONY WHICH GIVES THE BAND S SOUND A DREAM LIKE QUALITY IMAG INE A SOUND SIMILAR TO A CHOIR OF $RUID "EACH "OYS 4HE HIGHLIGHT OF THIS ALBUM HAS TO BE THE RECENT SINGLE @4HE "RIGHT !MBASSADORS OF -ORNING WHICH CLOCKS IN AT NEARLY MINUTES LONG 4HE SONG STARTS BY LULLING THE LISTENER INTO A TRANCE WITH THE CONTINUOUS CHANTING OF THE CHORUS THEN FROM NOWHERE A
DEMONIC GUITAR LICK KICKS IN WHICH DRAGS THE LISTENER BACK INTO REALITY 4HIS ALBUM CONJURES UP IMAGES OF A CONmICT BETWEEN HEAVEN AND HELL LIGHT AND DARK AND THE LISTENER IS GIVEN A FRONT ROW SEAT )F SOUNDING 0ROG MEANS EXHILA RATING AND INVENTIVE ROCK MUSIC THEN THIS ALBUM IS 0ROG !LTHOUGH TO DISMISS THIS ALBUM WOULD BE FOOLISH BECAUSE THIS ALBUM IS IM MENSELY REWARDING FOR ANY LOVER OF GOOD MUSIC 7ILL (OLLOWAY
0URE 2EASON 2EVOLUTION
WOULD GENERALLY BE BUYING THE AL BUM TO HEAR PLACEBO AND THERE S ENOUGH MUSICAL TRICKERY ON HERE TO KEEP EVEN THE MOST CASUAL OF LISTEN ERS HOOKED 4HE BASIC ELEMENT THAT THEY HAVE ACHIEVED WITH -EDS MAY NOT EXPAND OR EVOLVE THEIR STYLE BUT IT WILL CERTAINLY ATTRACT PEOPLE WHO HAVE NOT YET EXPERIENCED THE 0LA CEBO EFFECT 0LACEBO RETURN TO TOP FORM WITH A POSSIBLE CONTENDER FOR ALBUM OF THE YEAR ALREADY #HRIS (YDE
*AHEIM 'HETTO #LASSICS 'HETTO #LASSICS IS THE SECOND AL BUM FROM THE .EW *ERSEY CROON ER *AHEIM THE USUAL RECIPE FOR A STEREOTYPICAL 2 " PIE IS RIGHT ON TROUBLED YOUTH GHETTO ROOTS CON SPICUOUS ',# MUSIC 7AYNE AND 7AYNETTA WOULD GET JIGGY TO IN A CONVERTED 6AUXHALL NOVA )T S ALL THERE BUT SERIOUSLY THIS ALBUM ISN T BAD AT ALL IT JUST DOESN T HAVE THAT EDGE )T S PERFECTLY LISTENABLE SUR PRISINGLY EVEN TO THE BASIC STUDENT GENERIC ROCK FAN 4RACK 4HE #HO SEN /NE STARTS OFF THE ALBUM WITH STYLE CATCHING ATTENTIONS AS WELL AS IMAGINATIONS BUT BY THE TIME THE TH TRACK COMES AROUND IT ALL JUST BLENDS INTO ONE PRETTY AVERAGE AL BUM 4HERE IS NO DOUBT THAT *AHE IM IS A VERY TALENTED VOCALIST BUT IT ISN T REALLY ANYTHING DIFFERENT FROM OTHER 2 " ARTISTS FROM THE 5 3 OF THE SAME ILK )F YOU WANT TO GET INTO THIS KIND OF MUSIC YOU ARE BETTER OFF GOING FOR @'ET LIFTED BY *OHN LEGEND (OWEVER IF YOU WANT MORE OF THE SAME THEN THIS ISN T A BAD EXAMPLE IT JUST DOESN T BREAK NEW GROUND -ARK #RAWLEY
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In  the  Zane &OR MANY OF ITS LISTENERS THE :ANE ,OWE SHOW ON 2ADIO IS THE ONLY THING THAT ENCAPSULATES THE REALITY OF THE MUSIC INDUSTRY WITH IT S CUTTING EDGE SONGS AND GENERIC BREADTH 3IMON 'RIFlTHS LOOKS INTO THE WORLD OF ECLECTICISM
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ANE S VOYAGE INTO THE WORLD OF $* ING BE GAN IN HIS NATIVE .EW :EALAND DROP PING BEATS FOR A HIP HOP COL LECTIVE KNOWN AS 5RBAN $ISTUR BANCE $ESCRIBING MAKING MUSIC AS HIS lRST AND FOREMOST INTEREST :ANE CLAIMS HIS hMEDIA THINGv BEGAN AS hJUST A HOBBYv 1UITE A SUCCESSFUL HOBBY AT THAT !FTER TRAV ELLING ACROSS !MERICA AND EVEN TUALLY SETTLING DOWN IN THE 5+ :ANE JOINED THE RANKS OF ASPIRING ALTERNATIVE $*S AT ,ONDON@S 8&- RADIO STATION "EFORE LONG :ANE S TALENTS WERE RECOGNIZED BY -46 WHO PROVIDED HIM WITH HIS OWN SHOW 'ONZO SHOWN NIGHTLY ON -46 4HE NEXT LEAP IN HIS CAREER WAS TO CROSS OVER FROM ALTERNATIVE TO MAINSTREAM RADIO AND IN *UNE :ANE MOVED INTO THE EMPTY SLOT LEFT BY 3TEVE ,AMACQ S %VENING 3ESSION ON ""# 2ADIO 2ADIO HAS BEEN HIS PROFESSIONAL HOME EVER SINCE AND HIS UNMISTAKEABLE TONES AND TUNES CAN BE HEARD -ONDAYS THROUGH 4HURSDAYS AT O CLOCK $ESPITE HIS OBVIOUS SUCCESSES IN THE lELD :ANE IS STILL KEEN TO EMPHASISE THAT RADIO $* ING IS NOT THE LIMIT OF HIS FORTE )N ADDITION TO THE HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL (OME
4APING 4OUR WHICH HAS VISITED 5%! TWICE THIS ACADEMIC YEAR AND TRAVELS TO DOZENS OF CLUBS BARS AND STUDENT UNIONS AROUND THE COUN TRY :ANE HAS ALSO RELEASED TWO ALBUMS AS PART OF "REAKS #O /P A THREE PIECE BAND BASED IN .EW :EALAND 4HEIR LATEST OFFERING 4HE 3OUND )NSIDE RELEASED IN IS A DELICIOUSLY WARM AND MELLOW SLICE OF SUMMER LOVING DESCRIBED BY :ANE AS hCOMING FROM A LOVE OF LIFE S MAGIC MOMENTSh WITH INmUENCES RANGING FROM -ARVIN 'AYE TO 4ORTOISE FROM 3EBADOH TO #ROSBY 3TILLS .ASH 9OUNG 4HE ALBUM CAPTURES INTUITIVELY A RANGE OF EMOTIONS AND MOODS A REFRESHING DISPLAY OF DEPTH WHICH CAN BE DIFlCULT TO CONVEY USING THE MEDIUM OF $* ALONE /N THE SUBJECT OF RADIO $JING :ANE SAYS ON HIS OFlCIAL 2ADIO WEBSITE THAT h) REALLY THINK THAT RADIO REALLY HAS TO BE AN HONEST REPRESENTATION OF WHOEVER S DRIVING IT AS MUCH AS WHOEVER S LISTENING TO IT v 4HIS IS CLEARLY AN ETHOS WHICH :ANE AND HIS COHORTS HAVE KEPT WITH THEM IN THE MAKING OF THIS ALBUM AND THE RESULTS REmECT THIS ADMIRABLY /NE EMOTION :ANE HAS NEVER FOUND DIFlCULT TO CONVEY EVEN ON THE RADIO IS HIS UNFALTERING ENTHU SIASM )NDEED IT HAS BEEN SUGGEST ED BY SOME THAT -R ,OWE SHOULD CURB HIS ENTHUSIASM WHILST ON THE AIR "UT IN A LIVE SETTING AS WITH
THE (OME 4APING TOUR ENERGY AND CHARISMA ARE TWO VITAL ASSETS WHICH CONTRIBUTE TOWARDS AN INTENSELY ENJOYABLE AND FOR MANY UNFORGET TABLE CLUB NIGHT THE LIKES OF WHICH ARE SOMETHING OF A SCARCITY AT THE ,#2 !FTER WITNESSING :ANE S DIS PLAY BEHIND THE DECKS THE APPEAL OF 3KOOL $AZE AND 'OD FORBID -ERCY APPEAR SOMEWHAT mEETING 7HEN (OME 4APING ARRIVED ON -ARCH TH EXPECTATIONS WERE RUNNING HIGH &OR THE STUDENTS OF 5%! :ANE S LAST APPEARANCE WAS CERTAINLY A TOUGH ACT TO FOL LOW !GGRAVATED BY OVERCROWDING A $RACONIAN )$ POLICY QUEUES AT THE BAR AND OVERWHELMING HEAT THE NORMALLY GOOD NATURED ,#2 CROWD APPEARED RESTLESS AND AT TIMES ALMOST VIOLENT ALTHOUGH UL TIMATELY THE SPIRITS REMAINED HIGH 7HEN :ANE TOOK TO THE STAGE JUST AFTER O CLOCK HE MET THIS AN TICIPATION HEAD ON RIPPING INTO SOME STAPLE ,#2 CLASSICS OFFSET WITH A TOUCH OF $RUM "ASS AND A SPLASH OF (IP (OP (OWEVER FOR SOME THIS SIMPLY WAS NOT ENOUGH 4HE lRST (OME 4APING TOUR WAS A TRULY GROUNDBREAKING ,#2 SUR PASSING "RIGHTON 2OCKS IN THE hALTERNATIVEv STAKES UNRIVALLED BY 4UESDAY NIGHTS IN TERMS OF ATMOS PHERE GENERALLY AMALGAMATING ALL THE FACTORS WHICH CONSTITUTE A GREAT NIGHT 7HILE THIS INSTALMENT BY NO MEANS FAILED IN THESE RESPECTS THE
"REAKS #O OP
/NE EMOTION :ANE HAS NEVER FOUND DIFlCULT TO CONVEY IS HIS UNFALTERING ENTHUSIASM
FRESHNESS WAS LACKING IN NEW MU SIC WE MIGHT TRUST BUT THE OPTION TO STICK TO A SLIGHTLY MORE STEADFAST TRACKLIST FAILED TO IGNITE THE ,#2 IN QUITE THE SAME WAY THAT :ANE CAN NORMALLY EMANATE WITH EASE !FTER THE GIG A PARTICULARLY JILTED ,#2 GOER WAS SPOTTED REPRIMANDING THE MAN HIMSELF FOR hPRESSING PLAY ON THE ,#2 COMPILATION TAPEv AND SUPPOSEDLY DOING LITTLE ELSE 7HILE THIS MAY SOUND A TAD HARSH IT WAS A VIEW WHICH SEEMED PREDOMI NANT )T MAY HAVE BEEN A SAFE BET WHEN UP AGAINST THE CONSERVATIVE MUSICAL TASTES OF POP CULTURE BUT THE STUDENT GURUS HAD COME IN SEARCH FOR SOMETHING MORE 0ER HAPS MOST JILTED OF ALL WAS 5%! S VERY OWN $* COMBO "EATS )N !BUN DANCE 0ROMISED A SUPPORT SLOT ON TONIGHT S BILL ,UKE FROM ")! HIMSELF A SECOND YEAR ,)4 STUDENT TOLD 4HE %VENT THAT h:ANE S MATES SHOWED UP AT THE LAST MINUTEv AND THE SLOT WAS HANDED OVER h4HAT S SHOWBIZv MAY WELL BE A VALID RE BUTTAL BUT READERS CAN BE FORGIVEN FOR SEEING THIS AS SOMETHING OF AN INJUSTICE :ANES FUNDAMENTAL AP PEAL IS HIS ABILITY TO MIX STYLES AND GENRES INTO A CUTTING EDGE SET WITH AN ABILITY TO MAKE EVEN THE MOST REMOTE OF SOUNDS LISTENABLE 4HE SET MAY HAVE BEEN QUALITY BUT IT WAS A RECOGNISABLE QUALITY .ONETHELESS -R ,OWE TONIGHT SHOWED 5%! EXACTLY WHAT HE DOES BEST PLAY GREAT TUNES AND GEN ERALLY GET THE PARTY GOERS JUMP ING THIS TIME HE EVEN GOT THEM MOSHING ALL THE WHILE GENERALLY LOOKING LIKE HE S HAVING A GREAT TIME 3O WHETHER IT S ROCK HIP HOP DANCE DRUM AND BASE OR EVEN LCR POP THERE IS ONLY ONE MAN WHO HAS IT ALL
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Music
The  Paddingtons Â
4HE 2HYTHM &ACTORY !LDGATE
h!SK US HOW WE WERE FORMED PEO PLE LOVE TO ASK US THAT v REQUESTS ,LOYD BASS EAGERLY h9EAH WELL WE WERE ALL WORKING IN .EW 9ORK ) WAS A TAXI DRIVER AND ) WAS JUST DRIVING -ARV GUITARS ONE DAY WHEN WE FOUND 4OM VOCALS AT THE SIDE OF THE ROAD WITH HIS HAND ALL MESSED UP 3O WE TOOK HIM TO THE HOSPITAL AND *OSH GUITARS WAS THERE .O WAIT ) WASN T A TAXI DRIV ER ) WAS A WRESTLER v HE EXPLAINS WISTFULLY AND TO GO OUT RATHER IN ACCURATELY .OW IN A LITTLE %NGLISH DRESSING ROOM THE 0ADDINGTONS ARE LOOKING TO BUILD ON THEIR IN TERESTING HISTORY AND EXPAND ON THEIR QUAINT PRESENCE THEY HAVEN T JUST COME TO REMINISCE BUT TO START SOMETHING NEW 3EEMINGLY FOSTERED BY EVERYONE S FAVOURITE ,IBERTINE 0ETE $OHERTY THE ONCE UNFASHIONABLE 2HYTHM &ACTORY IN !LDGATE BECAME THE UN LIKELY VENUE AND GENERAL DROP IN CENTRE FOR 4HE ,IBERTINES FAN BASE
Off  the Record *ACK AND *AMES
)T SEEMS AS IF YOU CAN NO LONGER DRIVE MORE THAN THREE MILES THROUGH THE !MERICAN COUNTRYSIDE WITHOUT PASSING A HEARTBROKEN MUSICIAN SITTING UNDER A TREE IN THE SHADE STARING WISTFULLY IN TO SPACE SINGING MELANCHOLY SOULFUL COMPOSITIONS ABOUT LOVE AND LOSS TO ANYONE WHO LL LISTEN *ACK *OHNSON IS AN ARTIST ARGUABLY AT THE FOREFRONT OF THE INCREASINGLY OVERCROWDED @ONE MAN AND HIS GUITAR GENRE )N BETWEEN DREAMS SEEMS TO HAVE MADE THIS MODEST LAID BACK SURFER INTO SOMEWHAT OF A CELEBRITY OF LATE AND THOSE WHO WERE PERCEPTIVE ENOUGH TO LATCH ON TO HIS PREVIOUS RELEASE "RUSHlRE &AIRYTALES WILL KNOW THAT *ACK S DELICATE BLEND OF REGGAE BLUES AND ROCK HAS EXCEPTIONAL WORTH (OWEVER THE MAN THAT AT THE MOMENT CAN DO NO WRONG IS ON THE VERGE OF LEAVING HIS MUSIC WHICH HAD STARTED AS JUST A WHIM TO GET THROUGH WAVELESS PERIODS ON SOME EXOTIC REEF "UT WHAT DO WE HAVE TO OFFER IN THE WAY OF *ACK THIS SIDE OF THE POND )S IT A BAD THING TO SAY THAT THE BEST THE "RITS CAN OFFER AT THE MOMENT IS *AMES "LUNT THERE MAY BE A LONG LIST OF ACOUSTIC CROONERS BUT IT IS ONLY *AMES WHO HAS REALLY GOT HIMSELF ACROSS TO THE MASSES ALBEIT WITH MUCH CRITICISM AND ARGUABLY UNDESERVED MOCKING 7HILE *ACK GREW UP ON A BOARD IN (AWAII *AMES WAS TRAINING AT 3ANDHURST WHEN *ACK WAS GLIDING OUT OF BARREL WAVES *AMES WAS IN STRICT REGIMENT AT +OSSOVO "OTH PICKED UP A GUITAR BUT WHILE ONE SMOOTHED WHITEWASH AND GROOVED SUNRAYS THE OTHER STRAINED STATIC LOVE SONGS "OTH ARE HUGELY EMOTIVE BUT ONE PLAYED TO US FROM BETWEEN OUR DREAMS WHILST THE OTHER TRIED TO DRAW LOVE FROM BEDLAM 4HE INNOCENCE AND MODESTY THAT MAKES THIS GENRE SO EF FECTIVE CAN HAVE THE MOST DIVERSE OF ROOTS BUT AT THE HEART OF IT ALL YOU NEED IS TO PICK UP THE GUITAR !LEX !LLEN AND #HARLES 2UMSEY
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TO SHARE THEIR MUSICAL TALENTS WITH EACH OTHER 7HILST IT HAS BEEN UN DENIABLY INmUENTIAL TO 4HE 0AD DINGTONS RAPID ASCENT IT HAS CREAT ED IT S OWN PROBLEMS h 0EOPLE USED TO JUST CARE ABOUT WHO WE HUNG ABOUT WITH BUT NOW THE ALBUM S OUT IT MAKES A BIG DIFFERENCE 7E WERE SORT OF STUNG THROUGH ASSO CIATION TO A LARGE EXTENT "UT THERE AREN T REALLY ANY OF THOSE ,IBERTINES SCENE BANDS LEFT ANYMORE ANYWAY THEY VE ALL GONE THAT SCENE DIED A LONG TIME AGO IT S JUST BAD JOURNAL ISM v EXPLAINS *OSH h.AME ONE BAND THAT HASN T HAD BREAKS IN THE END YOU CAN GET ALL THE BREAKS IN THE WORLD BUT YOU VE STILL GOT TO HAVE THE SONGS v ARGUES ,LOYD IN A WAY THAT SUGGESTS IT WASN T THE lRST TIME HE HAD BEEN ASKED 4HE BAND AREN T HELPED TONIGHT BY %DI TORS PLAYING DOWN THE ROAD OR BY BEING SANDWICHED IN BETWEEN 4HE #RIBS EARLIER IN THE WEEK AND $IRTY 0RETTY 4HINGS TO COME SO THE AT
TENDANCE IS MODEST AT BEST )N THEIR 3EX 0ISTOLS GEAR ) CAN T HELP BUT FEEL THAT 3ID 6ICIOUS AND CO THE SEC OND TIME ROUND WOULD CONTAIN ALL THE SHOCK AND SURPRISE OF A JACK IN A GLASS BOX !FTER GIVING ONE ROADIE A -OHAWK FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON OTHER THAN THAT BACKSTAGE IS QUITE BORING AND NOT ALL IT S CRACKED UP TO BE 4HE 0ADDINGTONS COME OUT ON STAGE AND TEAR IN TO @3OME /LD 'IRL 4HOUGH SOME OF THE TRACKS SHOW PROMISE @ TO A a AND @ TO NAME A COUPLE MUCH OF THE MATERIAL SEEMS TO FALL WELL SHORT OF EMULATING THEIR HEROES AND THE REASON ALL OF THE SO DUBBED ,IB ERTINES SCENE BANDS ARE NO LONGER AROUND IS ALL TOO APPARENT 4HE 0ADDINGTONS HAVE FAILED TO PROVIDE THE NECESSARY EDGE TO EFFORTLESSLY GLIDE ON TO THE SCENE BUT THEIR MODEST HOPES AND DREAMS MIGHT CARRY THEM FURTHER THAN EXPECTED !LEX !LLEN
Live  Gigs 4HE %DITORS ,#2 7ITH A PLATINUM SELLING ALBUM AND TWO HIT SINGLES %DITORS WERE ALWAYS GOING TO BE A SOLD OUT GIG WHEN THEY CAME TO THE 5%! !ND SO THEY WERE ! PACKED ,#2 OF FANS RANGING FROM TO WERE TREATED TO TWO QUALITY SUP PORT ACTS BEFORE THE MAIN BAND SATISlED THE PAINSTAKING ANTICI PATION &IRST SUPPORT +UBICHEK ARE A .EWCASTLE BASED GUITAR BAND WHO PLAYED AN EIGHT SONG SET BUT ONLY GOT THE CROWD GOING ABOUT HALF WAY THROUGH WITH ONE OF THEIR BETTER KNOWN SONGS h.IGHTJOYv /VERALL THEY RE CEIVED A GOOD RECEPTION FROM A SOMETIMES RATHER SOMBRE AND RELUCTANT CROWD "RAKED THEN TOOK TO THE STAGE AND PRO VIDED THE AUDIENCE WITH A VARI ETY OF SONGS OUT OF WHICH h!LL .IGHT $ISCO 0ARTYv STOOD OUT AS A FUTURE HIT DUE FOR RELEASE ON !PRIL RD 4HE ROCKERS THEN PERFORMED A SERIES OF SECOND SONGS INTERSPERSED THROUGHOUT THEIR SET PROVIDING THE AUDI ENCE WITH GREAT ENTERTAINMENT DESPITE THE USUAL LACK OF REC OGNITION 4HE MINIATURE GEMS INCLUDED AN ODE TO THE 53 VICE
PRESIDENT h#HENEYv AND THE IMAGINATIVELY TITLED h#OMMA #OMMA #OMMA &ULL 3TOPv !ND SO lNALLY IT WAS TIME FOR THE %DITORS AND THE APPRECIATIVE ROAR AS THEY TOOK TO THE STAGE SET THE TONE FOR HOW THEIR ENTIRE SET WOULD BE RECEIVED 3TARTING WITH A COUPLE OF THEIR LESSER KNOWN TRACKS THEY SOON LAUNCHED INTO THE INFECTIOUS h"LOODv DUR ING WHICH VOCALIST 4OM 3MITH GOT THE WHOLE CROWD CLAPPING ALONG WITH HIM 4HEN CAME h!LL 3PARKSv THEIR NEXT SINGLE FOR RE LEASE FROM THE ALBUM h4HE "ACK 2OOMv ON -ARCH TH AND h&ALLv WHICH WAS HAUNTINGLY
POWERFUL LIVE AND ENHANCED BY AN INCREDIBLE LIGHT SHOW 4HEY lNISHED AN ENERGETIC SET WITH AN ENCORE THAT HAD THE ADDED ADDITION OF A MIRROR BALL ON STAGE 4HE MOSAIC OF LIGHT HIGHLIGHTED THE BANDS SUDDEN APPEARANCE IN THE VOGUE THAT IS THE NEW ROMAN TIC REVIVAL BUT THE SHAMELESSLY PUT ON QUIRKS OF THE GROUP SIMPLY EX PLAIN THEIR INABILITY TO lND ORIGINAL GROUND THROUGH THEIR MUSIC 4HE lNAL SONG HOWEVER h&INGERS IN THE &ACTORIESv PROVIDED THE IDEAL lN ISH TO A BRILLIANT GIG ENJOYED BY THE AND YEAR OLDS ALIKE &IONA "ILLINGS
Music
Singles FUTURE DOESN T LOOK TOO DARK FOR 4HE 3TREETS AND FOR -IKE YET MORE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL 'REG 3ULLIVAN
4HE 3TREETS 7HEN 9OU 7ASN T &AMOUS 4WO YEARS SINCE HIS LAST WORK 3KIN NER S BACK AND AT HIS UP MOST BIO GRAPHICAL hHOW THE HELL AM ) SUP POSED TO BE ABLE TO DO A LINE IN FRONT OF COMPLETE STRANGERS WHEN ) KNOW THEY VE ALL GOT CAMERAS v ONLY SECONDS IN AND HIS RETURN FEELS AS DYNAMIC AS EVER 7HEN 9OU 7ASN T &AMOUS DEALS WITH AN APPARENT CE LEBRITY LOVE INTEREST WHICH APPEARS TO BE EATING AT POOR OLD -IKE AND AS THE TITLE SUGGESTS IT DEGRADES THE MAN TO THE POINT THAT IT MAKES 3KIN NER FEEL AS IF HE hWASN T FAMOUSv ,IKE HIS SUBJECT MATTER FROM SQUARE ONE IT S DIFlCULT NOT TO BECOME HOOKED 4HE BACKBEAT BITES AT THE EARS UNLIKE LITTLE AROUND TODAY AND ALTHOUGH THIS MAY NOT SHOWCASE THE TRUE LYRICAL TALENTS OF -IKE 3KINNER THEY RE CERTAINLY GREAT FUN 7HEN 9OU 7ASN T &AMOUS DISPLAYS LITTLE OF THE AVANT GARDE UNDERGROUND NOSTALGIA OF PAST EFFORTS IRONICALLY THIS IS 4HE 3TREETS AT THEIR MOST LIS TENABLE POP MUSIC WHICH IS O K TO LIKE )F THIS IS ANYTHING TO GO BY THE
TO CAPTURE ONE OF THOSE @THAT BAND WAS AMAZING MOMENTS 4RIVIUM HAVE TAKEN THE OLD SCHOOL ROCK SOUND A RECALL OF THE GLORY DAYS OF METAL BUT HAVE ADDED AN INTENSITY AND SKILL THAT SEIZES YOUR EARS BY THE LOBES TO INJECT THEIR MESSAGE WHICH NOW THROUGH THEIR SECOND FULL LENGTH IS PROFOUNDLY POIGNANT &OR ALL THOSE WHO MERELY BATTER AN EYE TO THIS OFTEN STEREOTYPICAL GENRE ARE lNALLY FORCED TO SIT UP AND TAKE NOTE A MELODY HAS EMERGED FROM THE NOISE 7ALTER 0LINCH
4RIVIUM $YING )N 9OUR !RMS &LORIDA BORN QUARTET 4RIVIUM BASED THE NAME ON THE ,ATIN FOR AN INTER SECTION BETWEEN THREE SCHOOLS OF LEARNING IT IMPLIED OPEN MINDED NESS TO DIFFERENT STYLES 4HE EXPLO SION OF MELODIC 53 METAL INTO THE MAINSTREAM HAS BECOME TO FADE OF LATE BUT 4RIVIUM SEEM TO BE HOLD ING UP WHAT IS LEFT OF NU METAL 4HIS IS THE SECOND SINGLE RELEASED FROM THEIR HIGHLY ACCLAIMED !SCEND ANCY ALBUM USHERING IN A NEW ERA OF HARD RIFFS AND MANIC GUITAR SO LOS 4RUE TO THEIR NAME THIS SINGLE PACKS A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT PUNCH TO PREVIOUSLY HEARD TRACKS ! HEAVY BUT CATCHY RIFF TAKES CENTRE STAGE THROUGHOUT THE SONG WITH STRONG AND MELODIC VOCALS BACKING IT UP )T IS SONGS LIKE THIS THAT ONLY RE QUIRE AN ATMOSPHERE lLLED WITH PYROTECHNICS AND SCREAMING FANS
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IT IS STILL A PLEASANT SURPRISE TO PUT ON THE TRACK AND BE SUDDENLY TAKEN ON A JOURNEY TO A GARDEN OF MOWN GRASS SURROUNDED BY PINE TREES WITH A GREY STATUE IN THE MIDDLE AND CHANGE FROM A GEEKY STUDENT TO A RE SPECTABLE GOOD LOOKING IMPORTANT PERSON THE SONG PROVIDES AN ODD FEELING OF SIGNIlCANCE @53 MIGHT SOUND A LITTLE LIKE A PIANIST AT A BAL LET RECITAL TO START WITH BUT IT SOON ROLLS INTO SOME LOVELY SUSTAINED STRINGS AND PIANO "Y THE END OF THE TRACK YOU FEEL LIKE LIFE WOULD lNALLY TAKE ON SOME KIND OF MOMENTOUS MEANING IF ONLY CLASSICALLY TRAINED 2EGINA 3PEKTOR WOULD BE YOUR GIRL FRIEND @53 IS HER LATEST SINGLE TAKEN FROM THE ALBUM TITLED -ARY !NN -EETS 4HE 'RAVEDIGGERS !ND /THER 3HORT 3TORIES 'EORGE 7YNDHAM
2EGINA 3PEKTOR
%VER HEARD OF HER )T DOESN T MAT TER HEAR HER ONCE AND YOU LL NEED TO HEAR HER AGAIN 7HERE DOES THIS OBVIOUSLY BEAUTIFUL 2USSIAN CHAN TEUSE LIVE 7HAT lLMS DOES SHE LIKE 7HAT FOOD DOES SHE EAT !ND ABOVE IS SHE SINGLE !LTHOUGH YOUR HEARTS MIGHT SINK A LITTLE WHEN YOU HEAR THE BIZARRESOUND SOUND THAT ENCOMPASSES THE LIKES OF THE DESPI CABLE 4ORI !MOS MIXED WITH "JORK
What’s  On
4HE %DITORS !LL 3PARKS +EEPING TO THE SIMPLE STUFF 4HE %DITORS APPEAR TO BE EMERGING AS A "RITISH RESPONSE TO THE +ILLERS WHO STORMED STAGES AND CHARTS THIS SIDE
OF THE !TLANTIC IN LATE 4HE ALMOST -ORRISSEY LIKE VOCALS OF FERED TO US ON THIS TRACK PROVIDE AN INDICATION OF WHERE THESE GUYS ARE COMING FROM THE CATCHY MELODY SUGGESTING LITTLE IN THE WAY OF MUSI CAL GENIUS YET THEY RE SO TIGHT THAT IT WORKS 4HEIR ALBUM 4HE "ACK 2OOM LOOKS ELSEWHERE FOR ITS APPEAL BE CAUSE !LL 3PARKS IN SUMMARY IS THEIR TOKEN MELODIC SINGLE n WITH LITTLE TO PLAY WITH THEY WON T GET AWAY WITH MANY MORE 3O THIS IS !LL 3PARKS THE BAL LAD RELEASE FROM THE ALBUM "ACK $OOR 4HE BAND HAVE EXPLICITLY EX PRESSED THEIR ADORATION FOR *OY $I VISION AND THE COMPARISONS MADE BETWEEN THEM AND WITH )NTERPOL ARE NUMEROUS "UT WHAT ARE THE EDITORS ACTUALLY OFFERING US 4HE GUITAR APPEARS TO BE A SQUASHED AND CONTORTED EFFORT AT REPLICATING #OLDPLAY IN AN EDGIER FASHION BUT FAILS TO ACHIEVE ANY SORT OF VARIA TION 4HEY CERTAINLY AREN T THE ONLY NEW BAND ON THE SCENE TO BE AP ING #OLDPLAY S SIGNATURE STYLE )N SUMMARY THEY RE GOING TO NEED TO PULL SOMETHING NEW OUT OF THE BAG TO REALLY IMPRESS !S A SINGLE IT IS lNE AND MELODIC !S A REPRESENTA TIVE PIECE OF THEIR WORK IN GENERAL ITS JUST AN ADEQUATE REPRESENTATION OF A BAND lNDING THEIR FEET IN FACT YOU WOULD PROBABLY ONLY NEED TWO OR THREE SONGS FROM THIS ALBUM TO GAIN AN INSIGHTFUL VIEW INTO THE MUSICAL MINDS OF 4HE %DITORS 'EORGE 7YNDHAM
Wednesday  15/3/06
h7ONDERS OF THE 7ORLDv n &AIR 4RADE )NTERNATIONAL 0ARTY a PM ONWARDS (IVE ,#2
Thursday  16/3/06
5NION &ILM +ISS +ISS "ANG "ANG a PM ,4 &EETlRST a PM ,#2 3AMBA -APANGALA /RCHESTRA 6IRUNGA a PM .ORWICH !RTS #ENTRE
Friday  17/3/06
5NION lLM +ING +ONG a PM ,4 /LA /NABULE a PM .ORWICH !RTS #ENTRE S .IGHT AND #HAINS ON 6ELVET a PM 7ATERFRONT 3T 0ATRICK S $AY ,#2 a PM ,#2
Saturday  18/3/06
4OM #ONWAY 3ARAH 3IXSMITH -AGIC FOLK &2%% PM .ORWICH !RTS #ENTRE
2ETROACTIVE FEAT TRIBUTE BANDS a PM ,#2 -ELTDOWN AND "RITPOPPIN a PM 7ATERFRONT
Monday  20/3/06
9OUNGBLOOD "RASS "AND a PM .ORWICH !RTS #ENTRE
Tuesday  21/3/06
3WING AND 3WEET WITH 2AY 3IMMONDS &2%% PM 4HE 'REEN -AN 0IRATE ,#2 a PM ,#2
Wednesday  22/3/06
5NION &ILM (ARRY 0OTTER AND THE 'OBLET OF &IRE a PM ,#2
Thursday  23/3/06
5NION &ILM )N (ER 3HOES a PM ,4 3EX 0ISTOLS %XPERIENCE a PM 7ATERFRONT
Friday  24/3/06
5NION &ILM 4HUMBSUCKER a PM ,4 *ULIA "IEL a PM .ORWICH !RTS #ENTRE $ED (OT #HILLI 0EPPERS a PM 7ATERFRONT "RIGHTON 2OCKS a PM ,#2
Saturday  25/3/06
,ARK a PM 4HE !LIBI &LIRT a PM ,#2 -ELTDOWN AND 7RAITH a PM 7ATERFRONT
Sunday  26/3/06
'RAHAM #OXON a PM 7ATERFRONT
Tuesday  28/3/06
"LUE !EROPLANES a PM 7ATERFRONT .ICK 0AGE .ICK (ILL &2%% PM 4HE 'REEN -AN
Want  to  place  a  listing? #ONTACT CONCRETE LISTINGS UEA AC UK /R CALL
Must  see:  'RAHAM #OXON
&OLLOWING THE RELEASE OF HIS NEW AL BUM ,OVE 4RAVELS AT )LLEGAL 3PEEDS 'RAHAM #OXON IS SET TO TOUR THE 5+ THROUGHOUT -ARCH AND !PRIL AND HAS ALREADY GOT TONGUES WAGGING ABOUT HIS PERFORMANCES &OLLOWING THESE GIGS HE WILL BE SUPPORTING 4HE +AISER #HEIFS ON THEIR UPCOMING 5+ TOUR WHICH IS SURE TO RAISE HIS PROlLE NO END !FTER SOME AWKWARD STUMBLING AT THE BEGINNING OF HIS SOLO CAREER #OXON IS STARTING TO WRITE THE CALIBRE OF SONGS SO MANY IN DIE FANS HAVE BEEN EXPECTING OF HIM !S A RESULT HIS LIVE PERFORMANCES HAVE ALL THE CONlDENCE AND mAIR OF AN ARTIST THAT HAS lNALLY COME INTO HIS OWN #OXON SEEMS TO HAVE FREED HIMSELF FROM THE @ONE FROM "LUR WHO ISN T $AMON !L BARN LABEL THAT HE WORE FOR SO LONG AND IS LOOKING VERY HEALTHY FOR IT .OT JUST A GOOD GIG BUT A VERY EXCITING TO SEE SUCH A PROMISING ARTIST
Event 17 The
Film
Main  Feature Syriana $IR 3TEPHEN 'AGHAN 2ELEASE $ATE
)F THIS IS THE YEAR THAT (OLLYWOOD GOT SERIOUS ABOUT POLITICS TO THE EXTENT THAT THE /SCARS COULD BE DUBBED AN @ISSUE CONTEST THEN 3YRIANA IS LEADER OF THE SERIOUS PO LITICAL PACK ! NOMINAL THRILLER BUT WITH LITTLE OF -UNICH S ADRENALIN 3TEPHEN 'AGHAN S HIGHLY AMBI TIOUS SECOND FEATURE PACKS IN AN AS TONISHING NUMBER OF HUSHED @BUSI NESS DEALS SPEECH OR LACK OF IT IS ONE OF THE lLM S MAJOR THEMES AS
SYMBOLISED IN THE STRIKING POSTER IMAGE OF 'EORGE #LOONEY HIS EYES AND MOUTH ERASED AND REPLACED WITH TEXT LEAPS IN LOCATION AND GLOBAL POLITICAL COMMENT )NDEED THERE S SO MUCH TO COVER AND TIE TOGETHER n @EVERYTHING S CONNECTED SAYS THE TAGLINE ALTHOUGH SOME CONNECTIONS ARE FAIRLY OBLIQUE n THAT THERE S LITTLE TIME LEFT FOR THE CHARACTERS TO MAKE THEIR EMOTIONAL MARK #LOONEY S "OB "ARNES WAS
ORIGINALLY A STAND IN FOR REAL LIFE #)! OPERATIVE "OB "AER THE CHAR ACTER WAS LATER lCTIONALISED WHEN IT BECAME APPARENT THAT THE lLM COULDN T DEAL WITH "AER S RELATION SHIP WITH HIS SON 3YRIANA S MOST MELODRAMATIC MOMENTS COME EARLY ON WHEN AN !MERICAN COUPLE S CHILD DROWNS IN A SWIMMING POOL BUT EVEN THE MOST FAMILIAR IMAGES OF A MOTHER S GRIEF AND A FATHER S STRENGTH IN AD
VERSITY ARE KEPT AT A DISTANCE 4HE SHOOTING STYLE IS SOBER AND UN SHOWY OFTEN HANDHELD WITH DRA MATIC EVENTS COMMONLY FRAMED IN LONG SHOT )N ONE UNUSUALLY TENSE SEQUENCE AN EXPLOSION ERUPTS IN CLOSE UP ONLY FOR THE IMAGE TO IM MEDIATELY SWITCH TO BIRD S EYE VIEW OF THE lRE n NOW ABSURDLY SMALL AND REMOTE 4HE SOUND DESIGN TOO TAKING A SIMILAR APPROACH TO 'OOD .IGHT AND 'OOD ,UCK WORKS TO FRAGMENT THE BIG PICTURE SUDDENLY DRAINING SOUND LEVELS TO NOTHING OR INTRODUCING UNSOURCED VOICES !S THE BIGGEST STARS ON SHOW 'EORGE #LOONEY AND -ATT $A MON PROVIDE THE STRONGEST POINTS OF IDENTIlCATION BUT THE lLM ALSO GIVES A VOICE TO A NUMBER OF !RAB CHARACTERS INVOLVED IN THE TRANSNA TIONAL NARRATIVE WEB WITH CORRUPT ED OIL TRADE AT ITS CENTRE AMONG THEM TWO YOUNG SUICIDE BOMBERS 'AGHAN HAS SPOKEN OF (OLLYWOOD !RAB STEREOTYPES BEING A PRIME TAR GET FOR DEMOLISHMENT AND IS CARE FUL TO AVOID THE FRUITCAKE CARICATUR ING OF SCORES OF 53 ACTION MOVIES 4HE TERRORISM OF 3YRIANNA IS THE TERRIBLE EFFECT OF POWERFUL FORCES CULTURAL POLITICAL AND ECONOMIC 4HE SOMETIMES TALKY AND DENSELY DETAILED NARRATIVE IS PUNC
TURED WITH GUT CHURNING VIOLENCE #LOONEY UNCOMFORTABLE SEEMING AND OBSCURED BY A WIRY BEARD AND PUT ON WEIGHT IS AT THE CENTRE OF THE MOST SHOCKING SET PIECE n A FEW SECONDS OF UNWATCHABLE lNGERNAIL TORTURE THAT RIVAL -ARATHON -AN S DENTAL DRILL SEQUENCE FOR WINCING IMPACT n AND THERE ARE mASHES OF POLICE BRUTALITY TOO %XAMPLES OF LAUGHS ARE RARER BUT EARLY FAM ILY SCENES WITH -ATT $AMON AND !MANDA 0EET AS ONE OF THE FEW FE MALE CHARACTERS HAVE AN UNFORCED HUMOUR ABOUT THEM AND ONE LINE ABOUT REGIONAL POLICY n @IN THIS TOWN YOU RE INNOCENT UNTIL INVES TIGATED n PERFECTLY UNITES TERRIFYING CORRUPTION WITH THE WIT OF ITS BEN EFACTORS 3YRIANA IS NOT WITHOUT SENTI MENT OR THE ODD BIT OF HAMMY CHARACTER ACTING #HRIS #OOPER TURNS IN ANOTHER "USH ESQUE PARO DY HUMMING WITH DOWN TO EARTH CHARM AND ILL GOTTEN POWER BUT IS UNMATCHED FOR RIGOR IN PROVOCA TION )F TOGETHER WITH 'OOD ,UCK AND 'OOD ,UCK IT SUGGESTS A RETURN TO THE STYLE OF S POLITICAL CIN EMA THEN THE NARRATIVE REMAINS BRACINGLY TOPICAL TO THE END 3EB -ANLEY
Five  Great:  Twin  Performances !LTHOUGH THE MULTI PART VIRTUOSO PLAYING OF !LEC 'UINNESS AND 0ETER 3ELLERS SURVIVES AND DEBATABLY PROSPERS IN MAINSTREAM COMEDY -IKE -YERS TAKES FOUR ROLES IN 'OLDMEMBER %DDIE -URPHY MATCHES 'UINNESS IN +IND (EARTS AND #ORONETS WITH EIGHT PARTS IN .UTTY 0ROFESSOR )) DOPPELGANGER ROLES ARE CONlNED MOSTLY TO ARTHOUSE TITLES )NDEED THE TWINNED PERSONALITY HAS BECOME SOMETHING OF A STAPLE IN SURREALIST LEANING lLMS THESE lVE DOUBLE VISIONS REMAIN UNCANNY IN THE FACE OF FAMILIARITY #ATHERINE $ENEUVE 'ENEALOGIES D UN #RIME #HILEAN DIRECTOR 2AUL 2UIZ S &RENCH PUZZLER HAS #ATHERINE $ENEUVE WELL PRACTISED IN PERFORMING @SPLIT PERSONALITIES HAVING STARRED IN BOTH 0OLANSKI S 2EPULSION AND
18
Event The
"UNUEL S "ELLE DE *OUR PLAY A LAWYER INVESTIGATING THE PSYCHOLOGICAL HISTORY OF A YOUNG MAN POSSIBLY DRIVEN TO MURDER BY HIS AUNT n ALSO PLAYED BY $ENEUVE )T S THE LITERAL IMAGE OF UNSTABLE IDENTITY IN A lLM FULL OF DREAM LIKE GAMES AND $ENEUVE PLAYS THEM WITH ICY INGENUITY 0IERRE "ATCHEFF 5N #HIEN !NDALOU 4HE PHANTOM DOUBLES IN $AVID ,YNCH S ,OST (IGHWAY AND -ULHOLLAND $RIVE TAKE THEIR CUE FROM ,UIS "UNUEL AND 3ALVADOR $ALI S DELIRIOUS 3URREALIST CLASSIC WHICH HAS ITS ANTI HERO "ATCHEFF WOKEN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT BY HIS ALTER EGO 4HE NEW DOUBLE ORDERS THE OTHER DUNCE LIKE INTO A CORNER AND THROWS HIS THINGS OUT THE WINDOW ONE BY ONE n UNTIL THE ORIGINAL CHARACTER PUTS AN END TO IT
ALL AND SHOOTS DOWN HIS OTHER SELF WITH A PAIR OF PISTOLS )RENE *ACOB 4HE $OUBLE ,IFE OF 6ERONIQUE )RENE *ACOB S PERFORMANCE AS 6ERONIQUE AND 7ERONIKA LEADING COMPLETELY SEPARATE LIVES IN 0ARIS AND 0RAGUE BUT HAUNTED BY FEELINGS OF @MISSING SOMEONE IS A SUBLIME CONCOCTION OF ROMANTICISM AND GRIEF 3HE MADE A NAME FOR HERSELF A FEW YEARS LATER IN 4HREE #OLOURS 2ED BUT THIS EARLIER +IESLOWSKI OUTING IS HER MASTERWORK *EREMY )RONS $EAD 2INGERS ! (ISTORY OF 6IOLENCE S 4OM 3TALL 6IGGO -ORTENSEN IS JUST THE LATEST IN #RONENBERG S RUNNING SERIES OF lLMS CENTRING ON A MALE IDENTITY CRISES $EAD 2INGERS THE EARLIEST AND MOST SPECTACULAR MODEL IS A lLM OF QUITE DAZZLING
FORMAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL RIGOUR BUT THERE S NO DOUBT THAT IT WOULD NEVER WASH WITH *EREMY )RONS TURN AS THE TWO GYNAECOLOGIST TWINS WHO @SHARE AN IDENTITY .ICOLAS #AGE !DAPTATION ! WELCOME THROWBACK TO .ICOLAS #AGE S DAYS AS (OLLYWOOD S WEIRDEST
ACTOR !DAPTATION TELLS THE STORY OF TWIN BROTHERS #HARLIE AND $ONALD BOTH ASPIRING SCREENWRITERS 3PIKE *ONZE SPINS A TYPICALLY INTRICATE PIECE OF METAlCTION BUT IT S #AGE S UNmATTERING AGONISED DUAL PORTRAIT THAT REALLY STANDS OUT 3EB -ANLEY
Film
Sneak  Preview
! SLICK MOVIE TRAILER CAN CONCEAL AS MUCH AS IT REVEALS ABOUT THE FEATURE PROPER BUT HOW SERIOUSLY DO MODERN AUDIENCES TAKE THEM #HRIS (YDE LOOKS AT THE CLICHES THE IMPORTANCE OF STAR POWER AND THAT EVER PRESENT GRAVELLY VOICEOVER
"
E G I N N I N G WITH A QUOTE @-OVIE TRAILERS ARE DESIGNED TO GIVE YOU AN IDEA OF THE lLM IN QUESTION IN A VERY SHORT SPACE OF TIME &OR EXAMPLE THIS IS THE PREVIEW FOR A lLM CALLED 4HE (ITCHHIKER S 'UIDE TO THE 'ALAXY !S WITH MOST TRAILERS THIS ONE WILL DAZZLE YOU WITH SPECIAL EFFECTS AND SHOW HOW FUNNY IT WILL BE 4HERE WILL BE PLENTY OF THE USUAL SHOUTING /F COURSE THERE WILL ALSO BE PLENTY OF HEARTLESS EVIL VILLAINS HIDEOUS CREATURES ROBOTS DOLPHINS AND THEN OF COURSE THE PROMISE OF TRUE LOVE 4HEN THE TRAILER WILL CLAIM THAT THE lLM IN QUESTION IS THE GREATEST ADVENTURE OF ALL TIME n WHICH WHILE USUALLY FALSE IS IN THIS CASE ENTIRELY TRUE !ND LASTLY THERE IS A lNAL MONTAGE n OFTEN SET TO ROCK MUSIC n THAT IS DESIGNED SIMPLY TO BLOW AWAY WHATEVER SYNAPSES YOU HAVE LEFT IN YOUR BRAIN 4HIS FORMS A TRAILER !ND SO GOES THE DRY HUMOUR OF THE 3TEPHEN &RY NARRATED TRAILER FOR LAST YEAR S REMAKE OF ER 4HE (ITCHHIKER S 'UIDE TO THE 'ALAXY ! BETTER OR MORE SARCASTIC EXPLANATION OF THE BASICS OF A lLM TRAILER COULD NOT BE WRITTEN SO THAT ONE S BEEN PINCHED FOR THIS INTRODUCTION 4HEY RE SOMETHING THAT WE VE ALL SEEN ON OUR TRIPS TO THE CINEMA 7HETHER IT S mASHY ONES FOR THE LATEST (OLLYWOOD BLOCKBUSTER CUTESY ONES FOR ANOTHER 2ICHARD #URTIS "RITISH ROMANTIC COMEDY OR SERIOUS ONES FOR HIGHBROW DRAMAS WE RE ALL FAMILIAR WITH THE BASIC CONCEPT OF ONE "UT WHAT GOES INTO MAKING TRAILERS WHAT THEY ARE 7HEN DID THEY START !ND WHY DO THEY ALL HAVE THAT ANNOYING BLOKE SPEAKING IN HIS DULCET TONES OVER THE TOP OF THEM 4RAILERS BEGAN IN THE S WHEN CINEMA BECAME THE BIGGEST ENTERTAINMENT OPPORTUNITY FOR PEOPLE 4HEY WERE ORIGINALLY TACKED ONTO THE END OF lLMS HENCE THE NAME BUT IT WAS QUICKLY REALISED THAT CUSTOMERS LEFT AFTER THE lLM WITHOUT BOTHERING TO WATCH THE TRAILERS AND SO THEY WERE MOVED TO BEFORE THE lLM WHERE THEY HAVE REMAINED SINCE 7HILE MANY PEOPLE COMPLAIN ABOUT HAVING TO SIT THROUGH THEM BEFORE SEEING A lLM THERE IS A SIMPLE WAY TO GET AROUND THIS n TURN UP TO A lLM MINUTES
AFTER IT S DUE TO START AND YOU LL MISS THEM ALL 4HEY USUALLY CONSIST OF A SERIES OF SCENES FROM THE lLM THAT IS BEING ADVERTISED !S THEIR PURPOSE IS TO ATTRACT AN AUDIENCE TO THE lLM AND MAKE THEM BELIEVE IT S THE BEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD A FEW HIGHLIGHTS OF THE lLM ARE SELECTED USUALLY DUE TO HOW EXCITING FUNNY OR DRAMATIC THEY ARE AND SHOWN TYPICALLY NOT IN THE ORDER THAT THEY RE SHOWN IN THE lLM AND WITHOUT PRODUCING SPOILERS 'ENERIC TRAILERS FOLLOW THIS PATTERN BUT A FEW EXCEPTIONS TO THIS ARE MUCH MORE MEMORABLE BECAUSE THEY BREAK FROM THE NORM %XAMPLES OF TRAILERS THAT DON T STICK TO THIS RULE INCLUDE 4ERMINATOR WHICH USES hSPECIAL SHOOTv FOOTAGE 0SYCHO IN WHICH (ITCHCOCK GUIDES THE AUDIENCE AROUND THE INFAMOUS "ATES -OTEL AND WINDS UP IN -ARION #RANE S BATHROOM WHERE HE SUDDENLY PULLS BACK THE SHOWER CURTAIN AND THE FAMOUS BLOOD CURLING SCREAM SCENE IS SHOWN AND THE lRST TRAILER FOR 4HE $A 6INCI #ODE WHICH WAS MADE BEFORE SHOOTING OF THE lLM HAD EVEN BEGUN AND CONSISTED OF THE CAMERA PANNING AROUND THE -ONA ,ISA /NE OF THE UNIQUE ABILITIES OF TRAILERS IS THAT THEY CAN SHOW DIABOLICAL MOVIES IN A POSITIVE LIGHT 4HE TRAILER FOR THE RECENT !EON &LUX MADE THE lLM LOOK LIKE AN EXCELLENT -ATRIX ESQUE lLM ABOUT A DYSTOPIAN FUTURE WITH PLENTY OF ACTION PACKED lGHT SCENES A TENSE PLOT AND lGURE HUGGING LEATHER ABOUND 5NFORTUNATELY THE lLM PROVED TO BE ABOUT AS EXCITING AS A LETTUCE SANDWICH WITH CRINGE WORTHY DIALOGUE AND PREDICTABLE lGHTING )T PROVED THAT THE MASTERMINDS BEHIND TRAILERS ARE VERY CUNNING IN WHICH SCENES ARE CHOSEN ! LIST OF THE STARS AND POSSIBLY DIRECTOR IF IT S A HOUSEHOLD NAME WILL ALWAYS APPEAR 4HIS IS BECAUSE IDIOTS WHO WILL GO AND SEE A lLM SIMPLY BASED ON THE NAMES OF THE ACTORS ARE EASY TARGETS AND THE SHEER MENTION OF THE NAME MAY BE ENOUGH TO CONVINCE THEM TO SEE THE lLM &OR EXAMPLE *IM #ARREY HAS BEEN IN ENOUGH GOOD lLMS OVER THE YEARS TO ENSURE THAT HE S GATHERED ENOUGH OF A DEDICATED FOLLOWING YET THE RECENT &UN 7ITH $ICK !ND *ANE WAS ENOUGH TO CAUSE EVEN THE MOST HARDCORE #ARREY FAN TO LAUGH THEIR WAY OUT OF THE CINEMA )F ANY OF THE ACTORS OR THE DIRECTOR
HAS WON ANY AWARDS OR BEEN IN ANY GROUND BREAKING lLMS THIS WILL BE MENTIONED TOO n SUCH AS THE TRAILER FOR +ING +ONG WHICH MENTIONED 0ETER *ACKSON S ,ORD OF THE 2INGS /SCARS /NE IDIOSYNCRATIC ASPECT OF TRAILERS IS THE GRAVELLY VOICED GUY THAT NARRATES THEM #ONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF IT IS NOT THE SAME MAN THAT DOES EVERY SINGLE TRAILER n A SCHOOL IN (OLLYWOOD TEACHES BUDDING VOICE OVER ARTISTS HOW TO HAVE THE SAME TONE PRONUNCIATION AND PACE 4HE REASONING BEHIND WHY THIS PRECISE VOICE IS STRIVED FOR IS UNCLEAR IT IS POSSIBLY BECAUSE IT S QUITE AUTHORITATIVE AND CALMING OR MAYBE BECAUSE IT CAN GO FROM BEING JOVIAL TO STERN IN A SECOND 7HATEVER THE LOGIC FOR THIS DISCERNIBLE VOICE IS REMAINS UNCLEAR BUT IT S DIFlCULT TO IMAGINE PHRASES SUCH AS hIN A WORLD WHERExv OR hTHE LAST HUMANS ALIVExv BEING SPOKEN IN ANY OTHER WAY 4RAILERS CURRENTLY CIRCULATING IN CINEMAS INCLUDE THOSE FOR 4HE $A 6INCI #ODE 8 -EN 3UPERMAN 2ETURNS AND -ISSION )MPOSSIBLE 4HE EARLIEST DATE OF ANY OF THESE lLMS TO COME OUT IS TH -AY -ISSION )MPOSSIBLE WHICH MEANS THAT THE GAP BETWEEN THE lRST AIRING OF THE TRAILER AND THE ACTUAL RELEASE OF THE lLM IS AROUND TWO AND A HALF MONTHS 4HIS LENGTHY TIME PERIOD MEANS A LOT MORE PEOPLE WOULD SEE THE TRAILER THAN IF IT WAS RELEASED
/NE OF THE UNIQUE ABILITIES OF TRAILERS IS TO SHOW DIABOLICAL MOVIES IN A POSITIVE LIGHT SEE !EON &LUX
A WEEK BEFORE THE lLM S RELEASE DATE AND MEANS THAT PUBLICITY FOR THE lLM WILL BE INCREDIBLY HIGH 4HIS EXAMPLE SHOWS HOW INTEGRAL TRAILERS ARE IN PUBLICISING A lLM n IN WHEN THE TRAILER FOR THE lRST 3TAR 7ARS PREQUEL 4HE 0HANTOM -ENACE BEGAN SHOWING BEFORE CERTAIN lLMS MANY HARDCORE FANS BOUGHT TICKETS TO SEE THOSE lLMS JUST TO SEE THE TRAILER AND WOULD THEN LEAVE THE CINEMA 4RAILERS HAVE BECOME A CENTRAL PART OF THE CINEMA INDUSTRY TODAY AS THEY PROMOTE A lLM MONTHS IN ADVANCE OF ITS RELEASE MEANING MORE PEOPLE WILL SEE THE TRAILER MEANING MORE PEOPLE WILL SEE THE lLM ON ITS RELEASE MEANING MORE MONEY FOR BOTH CINEMAS AND THE PEOPLE INVOLVED WITH THE lLM 7ITHOUT THEM IT WOULD BE DIFlCULT TO KNOW WHICH lLMS ARE OUT AND WHEN NOT TO MENTION THAT WE D HAVE NO IDEA OF WHAT A lLM WOULD BE ABOUT 7HILE THEY CAN BE IRRITATING SOMETIMES THEY RE AS IMPORTANT TO CINEMA AS BUYING OVERPRICED POPCORN n AND lNDING OUT ABOUT A FORTHCOMING lLM CAN SOMETIMES BE MORE INTERESTING THAN THE lLM ITSELF AND WITH THEIR INCLUSION ON $6$S AND THE INTERNET THEY ARE MORE WIDELY SEEN AND INmUENTIAL THAN EVER BEFORE 7HETHER THEY RE ADVERTISING OR AN ART FORM TRAILERS WILL BE AROUND FOR AS LONG AS CINEMA IS AND *OE 0UBLIC IS A LOT BETTER OFF FOR IT
0SYCHO
Event 19 The
Film
Mock-Hollywood (OLLYWOOD S GRIP OVER MAINSTREAM lLM MARKETS HAS RESULTED IN NON 53 CINEMAS PRO DUCING LESS INDIVIDUAL MORE @!MERICAN OUTPUT "RITAIN INCLUDED )S THERE AN AUDIENCE FOR DISTINCTIVELY "RITISH lLMS OR IS (OLLYWOOD S REIGN INDElNITE "Y *OHN -UTCH
!
FTER SEEING AND THEN C R I T I Q U I N G THE UP C O M I N G $6$ RELEASE OF 3TORMY - O N D A Y A "RITISH lLM WHICH WORKS DESPERATELY TO CAPTURE AN !MERICAN AUDIENCE THE ISSUE OF THE OBSESSIVE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN "RITISH CINEMA AND ITS BIGGER BROTHER (OLLYWOOD BECOMES AN UNAVOIDABLE ISSUE )NCREASINGLY "RITISH lLMMAKERS HAVE LOOKED AT NEW WAYS TO MARKET THEIR lLMS IN !MERICA OFTEN BY INCORPORATING !MERICAN ACTORS SETTINGS OR THEMES BUT DO WE REALLY NEED TO PLAY SO COMPULSIVELY TO AN !MERICAN AUDIENCE 4RUE INDEPENDENT "RITISH lLMS CAN BE JUST AS SUCCESSFUL AND THROUGH EMBRACING !MERICAN IDEAS AND STARS WE BEGIN TO LOSE OUR SENSE OF NATIONAL IDENTITY -ANY lLMMAKERS CHOOSE TO MODEL THEIR lLMS AROUND AN !MERICAN AUDIENCE CONCENTRATING MORE ON ITS APPEAL RATHER THAN ITS QUALITY AS A lLM "ECAUSE OF THIS BIG 5+ lLMMAKERS SUCH AS &ILM &OUR OFTEN UNINTENTIONALLY RESTRICT THEMSELVES FROM BEING INNOVATIVE OR RADICAL IN CASE THE lLM FAILS TO ATTRACT ITS TARGET AUDIENCE )T SEEMS OUR ATTEMPT TO BE AS GOOD AS (OLLYWOOD IS WHAT HOLDS US BACK FROM BEING TRULY ORIGINAL .OT ALL "RITISH PRODUCTIONS HAVE HOWEVER FALLEN VICTIM TO PRESSURES TO !MERICANISE INDEED SOME OF THE 5+ S BIGGEST INTERNATIONAL HITS HAVE BEEN TYPICALLY "RITISH lLMS SUCH AS "ILLY %LLIOT AND 4HE &ULL -ONTY 4HE &ULL -ONTY WHICH HAD TO BE SUBTITLED IN !MERICAN CINEMAS BECAUSE THEY COULD NOT UNDERSTAND THE 3HEFlELD ACCENT WAS A MAJOR SUCCESS BECAUSE OF ITS ORIGINAL PLOT AND ITS HUMOUR )TS SELLING POINTS WERE DERIVED THROUGH GOOD lLMMAKING RATHER THAN THROUGH ITS CAST OR IDEAS !T THE OTHER END OF THE SPECTRUM IS .OTTING (ILL A RELATIVELY BIG BUDGET "RITISH lLM MADE TO CATER FOR "RITISH AND !MERICAN AUDIENCES .OTTING (ILL NOT ONLY DEMONSTRATES OUR TENDENCY TO PLAY TO AN !MERICAN AUDIENCE BUT ALSO THE WAY THE "RITISH lLM INDUSTRY OFTEN LOOKS UP TO (OLLYWOOD 4HROUGH (UGH 'RANT S CHARACTER 7ILLIAM WE SEE A STEREOTYPICAL BUMBLING "RITISH GENTLEMAN WHO IS POLITE
20
"ILLY %LLIOT
)T IS RECOGNISABLE STARS AND PLOTS THAT SELL MOVIES AND SO "RIT lLM MAKERS ARE DRAWN TO (OLLYWOOD
Event The
HANDSOME BUT NOT PARTICULARLY WEALTHY 7ILLIAM BECOMES ENTHRALLED BY A FAMOUS !MERICAN ACTRESS !NNA PLAYED BY *ULIA 2OBERTS 7ILLIAM S CHARACTER AND INDEED WHOLE FAMILY UNDERSTAND THEIR VAST SOCIAL INFERIORITY TO THE !MERICAN STAR EMBARRASSINGLY WORSHIPING !NNA WHO CONSIDERS 7ILLIAM S LIFE AS NOVELTY AND CUTE !NNA IS REALLY THE ONLY !MERICAN CHARACTER IN THE MOVIE AND SO IS THE SOLE PORTRAYER OF !MERICAN LIFE 4HE %NGLISH CHARACTERS RELATIONSHIP WITH !NNA PRESENT THE "RITISH PEOPLE AND "RITISH LIFE IN AN INFERIOR LIGHT TO THE !MERICANS 4HE EMPLOYMENT OF AN !MERICAN STAR WORKED EFFECTIVELY TO GATHER A CROSS !TLANTIC AUDIENCE THOUGH THE EXTRA REVENUE GENERATED FROM USING AN !MERICAN ICON AND MARKETING THE lLM IN !MERICA IS ONLY RELATIVE 2OBERTS WAS PAID MILLION DOLLARS FOR HER ROLE IN .OTTING (ILL WHEREAS A NATIONAL STAR WOULD HAVE COST $.! STUDIOS MUCH LESS AND THE lLM WOULD RETAIN ITS APPEAL IN "RITAIN 5SING TOKEN !MERICAN STARS IN "RITISH MOVIES IS A LONG RUNNING HABIT -ORE OFTEN THAN NOT YOU LL lND A LONE !MERICAN ACTOR IN A CAST OF "RIT ACTORS AND THEIR FACE SPLASHED OVER THE ADVERTISEMENTS !LTHOUGH BIG !MERICAN STARS DO NOT USUALLY INTERFERE TOO MUCH WITH THE OVERALL lLM WE AS AN AUDIENCE
ARE BEGINNING TO EXPECT TO SEE AN !MERICAN STAR IN ANY FORTHCOMING "RITISH MOVIE "ECAUSE OF THIS "RITISH CINEMA IS SEEN TO RELY ON (OLLYWOOD AND ITS BIG STARS /UR OBSESSION WITH (OLLYWOOD AND !MERICANISING OUR lLMS HAS MADE IT INCREASINGLY DIFlCULT TO DETERMINE WHETHER A lLM IS IN FACT "RITISH &OR EXAMPLE THE AUTHORSHIP OF THE TITLE 4HE "EACH IS DEBATABLE 4HOUGH DIRECTED BY THE WELL ESTABLISHED "RITISH DIRECTOR $ANNY "OYLE IT IS LARGELY SET IN !SIA AND FOLLOWS THE LIFE OF A YOUNG !MERICAN PLAYED BY ,EONARDO $I #APRIO 4HE REMAINING CAST IS MULTINATIONAL AND NOT DOMINATED BY "RITISH ACTORS YET THE lLM IS STILL CONSIDERED TO BE A "RITISH ONE -UCH OF THE NEED TO !MERICANISE OUR lLMS COMES AS A RESULT OF THE DEMANDS FROM AUDIENCES !LTHOUGH SOME APPRECIATE lLMS FOR THEIR INGENUITY AND INNOVATION THE LARGEST MARKET ARE THOSE WHO ENJOY THE LATEST GENERIC BLOCKBUSTER WITH A FAMILIAR CAST CREW OR STORY LINE )T IS THE RECOGNISABLE lGURES AND PLOTS THAT SELL MOVIES (OLLYWOOD IS JUSTIlABLY THE MOST DOMINANT lLM PRODUCING INSTITUTION IN THE WORLD 4HOUGH IT HAS A TENDENCY TO REPRODUCE lLMS ACCORDING TO A SPECIlC FORMULA IT DOES ON OCCASION PRODUCE QUALITY MARKET LEADING lLMS AND
SO IS WORTHY OF OUR ADMIRATION 4HE PROBLEM IS THAT WHILST OUR STUDIOS CONTINUE TO IDOLISE (OLLYWOOD THEY SHY AWAY FROM EXPLORING OUR OWN CULTURE AND IDEAS 4HE IMPORTANCE OF HAVING OUR OWN INDEPENDENT CINEMA IS REPRESENTED THROUGH THE PASSING OF THE #INEMATOGRAPH &ILMS !CT IN WHICH ENSURED THAT AT LEAST OF lLMS SCREENED IN CINEMAS WERE "RITISH MADE 4HE !CT WAS UNSUCCESSFUL AND PROMOTED VOLUME RATHER THAN QUALITY BUT WAS AN EARLY GOVERNMENTAL INTERVENTION IN AN ATTEMPT TO PROMOTE "RITISH lLM !LTHOUGH PIONEERING lLM PRODUCTION IT WAS NOT LONG AFTER THE INVENTION OF MOVING IMAGE THAT !MERICAN lLMS BEGAN TO DOMINATE "RITISH SCREENS BY ONLY OF lLMS SCREENED IN THE 5+ WERE "RITISH MADE 4ODAY "RITISH lLM HOLDS A TINY PROPORTION OF THE GLOBAL MARKET AND SO CANNOT COMPETE WITH (OLLYWOOD IN TERMS OF VOLUME THOUGH SUCCESS CAN STILL BE ACHIEVED WHILST REMAINING DISTANT FROM (OLLYWOOD 2ATHER THAN LOOKING UP TO (OLLYWOOD "RITAIN SHOULD INSTEAD LOOK AT WAYS OF CREATING ITS OWN DISTINCTLY UNIQUE lLMS THAT EXPLORE "RITAIN AND ITS CULTURE FOR IT IS IMPORTANT THAT WE SHOULD APPEAR CULTURALLY INDEPENDENT DIVERSE AND INTERESTING THROUGH OUR lLMS RATHER THAN MERELY A SUB PAR (OLLYWOOD IMITATION
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Other  Screens 4HE 0ROPOSITION $IR *OHN (ILLCOAT 2ELEASED 4HE SECOND COLLABORATION BETWEEN SINGER .ICK #AVE AND *OHN (ILLCOAT AFTER S 'HOSTSx OF THE #IVIL $EAD 4HE 0ROPOSITION IS A MAGNIlCENTLY MALIGN SLAB OF GOTHIC WESTERN )N THE S !USTRALIAN OUTBACK OUTLAWED BROTHERS #HARLIE AND -IKE "URNS ARE HAULED IN BY A LOCAL LAWMAN WHO ANNOUNCES THE PROPOSITION OF THE TITLE EITHER #HARLIE IS TO TRACK DOWN AND DO AWAY WITH THIRD BROTHER !RTHUR OR -IKE HANGS ON #HRISTMAS $AY 4HERE ARE HEAVY SHADES OF 0ECKINPAH IN THE lLM S GUT WRENCHING VIOLENCE AND FEVERED mY SPECKLED INTENSITY THE OPENING NODS TO 0AT 'ARRET "ILLY THE +ID WHILE #AVE S SCRIPT MARRIES MYTHO POETIC TRAGEDY WITH MORE HISTORICAL CONCERNS IN PARTICULAR COLONIALISM AND RACIAL VIOLENCE 4HE 0ROPOSITION TAKES A LONG STERN LOOK AT THE PREPOSTEROUS ARROGANCE OF WHITE MEN S DESIRE TO @CIVILISE THE LAND BUT THE MORE IMMEDIATE STORY OF REVENGE AND LOYALTY IS PROPERLY GRIPPING THANKS IN NO SMALL PART TO SPLENDID TURNS FROM 'UY 0EARCE 2AY 7INSTONE AND THE EVER VERSATILE %MILY 7ATSON 3EB -ANLEY
4HE 7EATHER -AN $IR 'ORE 6ERBINSKI 2ELEASED .ICHOLAS #AGE STARS AS POPULAR #HICAGO 46 WEATHERMAN $AVID 3PRITZ WHO HAS A CHANCE AT THE BIG TIME WHEN THE NATIONAL MORNING SHOW @(ELLO !MERICA CALLS HIM TO AUDITION 9ET WHILE HIS PROFESSIONAL LIFE IS ON THE UP HIS PERSONAL LIFE
SEEMS TO BE DETERIORATING RAPIDLY HE IS IN THE MIDDLE OF A PAINFUL DIVORCE HIS FATHER 2OBERT 3PRITZEL -ICHAEL #AINE IS SERIOUSLY ILL AND HIS CHILDREN CLEARLY APPEAR TO BE SUFFERING FROM THE FAMILY S SITUATION (OWEVER ALTHOUGH IT MAY SOUND AS THOUGH THE lLM IS OF A SERIOUS NATURE THERE ARE MANY ELEMENTS WHICH PROVIDE HUMOR ALBEIT SOMEWHAT DARK 4HIS PROVES TO BE A CONSIDERABLE WEAKNESS OF THE lLM SINCE IT RESULTS IN THE ABSENCE OF A CLEAR GENRE 7HILE ONE MINUTE THE lLM MAY APPEAR TO BE CONVEYING AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE NAMELY THE IMPORTANCE OF FATHERHOOD ANY EMOTION FELT FOR THE CHARACTER IS QUICKLY DESTROYED BY UNNECESSARY HUMOR !LEX +NOWLDEN
4HE 7ORLD S &ASTEST )NDIAN $IR 2OGER $ONALDSON 2ELEASED "ETTING HIGH ON A CENTRAL PERFORMANCE BY !NTHONY (OPKINS 2OGER $ONALDSON S ENDEARING lLM IMMEDIATELY COMES UP TRUMPS (OPKINS S "URT -UNRO A REAL LIFE .EW :EALAND GERIATRIC BIKER IS AN IRRESISTIBLE BUNDLE OF CHEERY BENEVOLENCE UNASSUMING EXPERTISE AND PASSIONATE DOGGED DETERMINATION n AND HE CARRIES NEARLY EVERY SCENE WHETHER THROWING UP DUST WITH HIS )NDIAN 4WIN 3COUT -OTORCYCLE OR lLING HIS YELLOWED TOENAILS WITH AN ELECTRIC SANDER "URT S JOURNEY TO THE 5TAH 3ALT &LATS WHERE HE HOPES TO SET A WORLD SPEED RECORD ASSUMES AN EPISODIC ROAD MOVIE STRUCTURE REMINISCENT OF 4HE 3TRAIGHT 3TORY $AVID ,YNCH AND INITIAL CULTURE CLASH DIFFERENCES n HE MEETS A
TRANSVESTITE IN (OLLYWOOD AN !MERICAN )NDIAN ON THE ROAD AND A TROUPE OF mASHY !MERICAN SPEED DEMONS IN 5TAH n ARE QUICKLY SORTED OUT WITH A mASH OF +IWI CHARM ! SLIGHT TENDENCY TO SENTIMENTALISE ASIDE 4HE 7ORLD S &ASTEST )NDIAN IS AS SPRY AND CHEERING A COMEDY TO COME OUT OF (OLLYWOOD IN A WHILE n AND CERTAINLY THE HIGH POINT OF $ONALDSON S CAREER THUS FAR WHICH TAKES IN #OCKTAIL 3PECIES AND 4HE 2ECRUIT 3EB -ANLEY
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4HE -ATADOR $IR 2ICHARD 3HEPARD 2ELEASED )T S ALWAYS REFRESHING TO SEE 0IERCE "ROSNAN STEP OUT OF "OND S TUXEDO AND TAKE MORE ORIGINAL ROLES (ERE HE TAKES ON THE ROLE OF A DEPRESSED HITMAN LOOKING FOR SOME HUMAN CONTACT WHICH COMES ABOUT IN THE FORM OF EVERYMAN $ANNY 7RIGHT AN ON FORM 'REG +INNEAR 4HIS PLAYS OUT INTO A THOROUGHLY ENJOYA BLE AND WELL FOUGHT OUT BUDDY COM EDY HITMAN lLM WITH A SLY WINK )T S GREAT TO SEE "ROSNAN TACKLE SUCH AN UNUSUAL ROLE AND HE DOES IT WITH GUSTO COMPLETELY DESTROYING HIS OLD STEREOTYPE -EANWHILE THE REST OF THE CAST IS GREAT FUN TOO AND THE SETTING OF -EXICO #ITY COULDN T BE MORE PERFECT AS THE 7ESTERN TONES ADD TO THE lLMS FEEL )T IS A SHAME THAT THE lLM S ENDING IS RATHER mAT MEANING YOU WILL LEAVE THE CINEMA SOMEWHAT LET DOWN "UT LOOKING BACK THE FUN THAT CAN BE HAD BY WATCHING 4HE -ATADOR AND WATCH ING "ROSNAN RE IDENTIFY HIMSELF AS AN EXCELLENT COMIC ARE WORTH IT !NDY *UDSON
7HAT S IT ABOUT !GAINST THE BACKDROP OF THE -EXICAN 2EVOLUTION A -EXICAN BANDIT *UAN 2OD 3TEIGER PARTNERS WITH 3EAN *AMES #OBURN A FORMER )2! EXPLOSIVES EXPERT IN ORDER TO ROB A BANK IN THE -EXICAN CITY OF -ESA 6ERDE !LTHOUGH INITIALLY INDIFFERENT TO THE POLITICAL UPHEAVALS RAGING AROUND THEM TRAGEDY INTERVENES AND THEY SOON FALL IN WITH A GROUP OF REVOLUTIONARIES RANGED AGAINST A RUTHLESS -EXICAN ARMY COLONEL 7ITH THE AID OF A SEEMINGLY EXHAUSTIBLE SUPPLY OF EXPLOSIVES NOT TO MENTION SOME INVENTIVE SPECIAL EFFECTS THE TWO MOVE INEXORABLY TOWARDS A lNAL SETTLING OF ACCOUNTS WITH THE BESIEGED -EXICAN !RMY 3OUNDS LIKE AN INTERESTING MIX )T IS !S ONE MIGHT EXPECT FROM THE TITLE THE lLM IS NOT SHORT ON EXPLOSIVE GRANDLY STAGED SET PIECES ,EONE REMAINS ONE CINEMA S BETTER ACTION DIRECTORS WITH AN IDIOSYNCRATIC VISUAL STYLE A KEEN SENSE OF RHYTHM AND AN INSTINCT FOR PITCH PERFECT COMIC TIMING "UT UNLIKE HIS BETTER KNOWN $OLLARS TRILOGY &ISTFUL OF $OLLARS ! &EW $OLLARS -ORE AND 4HE 'OOD 4HE "AD AND 4HE 5GLY THE DIRECTOR S VISUAL mAIR IS EMPLOYED IN THE SERVICE OF SOME WEIGHTIER IDEAS 5NSURPRISINGLY FOR A lLM THAT BEGAN TO GERMINATE IN $YNAMITE IS THE MOST DIRECTLY POLITICAL OF ,EONE S lLMS THE OPENING TITLES QUOTE OVER A SILENT BLACK SCREEN -AO ON THE VIOLENCE OF REVOLUTION "EHIND THE PICARESQUE VENEER OF BOYS OWN ADVENTURING THE lLM TURNS A CYNICAL GAZE ON REVOLUTIONARY IDEOLOGIES AND THEIR ATTENDANT VIOLENCE EVEN IF THE SERIOUSNESS OF THE INTENTION IS UNDERMINED BY THE OBVIOUS DELIGHT ,EONE TAKES IN COMMITTING HIS GRANDLY STAGED CARNAGE TO CELLULOID .EVER MIND THE POLITICAL SUBTEXT )S IT ANY FUN "UT OF COURSE 4HE SCRIPT LACKS THE WITTY PUNCH OF THE $OLLARS TRILOGY BUT ,EONE S WRY VISUAL HUMOUR IS AS DELICIOUSLY WICKED AS EVER -ORE ENJOYABLE STILL ARE THE PERFORMANCES ALTHOUGH NOT PERHAPS IN QUITE THE WAY THE CAST AND CREW INTENDED 4HIS IS THE ULTIMATE BAD ACCENT lLM 3TEIGER S ALARMINGLY EXECRABLE h-EXICANv ACCENT PUSHES THE BOUNDARIES OF CREDIBILITY AND IS ALL THE MORE HILARIOUS FOR IT #OBURN S @/IRISH BROGUE IS EVEN BETTER OR WORSE n STRAIGHT OUT OF THE 4ITANIC SCHOOL OF BAD )RISH ACCENTS .OW READILY AVAILABLE THE RECENTLY RELEASED $6$ IS WELL WORTH TAKING A LOOK AT PRESENTING THE DIRECTOR S ORIGINAL CUT OF A lLM THAT UNTIL RECENTLY WAS ONLY AVAILABLE IN A HEAVILY TRUNCATED FORM 0LUS THOSE ACCENTS ARE EVEN BETTER IN $OLBY $IGITAL !LEX 'OLDUP
4HE 0ROPOSITION
Event 21 The
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Special  Feature Directed  By  Roman  Polanski $IR 2OMAN 0OLANSKI 2ELEASED 5NIVERSAL 0ICTURES 3ONY 0ICTURES 2OMAN 0OLANSKI IS ONE OF THE MOST COMPLEX OF DIRECTORS AND CERTAINLY MORE DIFlCULT TO SUM UP IN A SCANT WORDS THROUGH THE lVE lLMS BEING OFFERED IN THIS INTRIGUING BOX SET )T SAYS A LOT ABOUT THE CALIBRE OF 0OLANSKI THAT THOSE WHICH ARE VIEWED AS HIS LESSER lLMS STILL ENCOURAGE DEBATE AND HAVE THEIR OWN SHARE OF DEVOTED FANS "OTH 4HE .INTH 'ATE AND "ITTER -OON FALL INTO THIS CATEGORY AND TRADITIONAL HEROES *OHNNY $EPP AND (UGH 'RANT ARE RESPECTIVELY GIVEN MORE UNUSUAL ROLES THAN THEY ARE NORMALLY GRANTED 4HE FORMER SEES $EPP ON THE TRAIL OF A 3ATANIST CONSPIRACY WHICH FOLLOWS A NUMBER OF STRANGE AND CONFUSING TWISTS AND TURNS AND ENDS LEAVING A SOUR TASTE IN THE MOUTH "ITTER -OON IS A MELANCHOLIC BLACK COMEDY THAT AGAIN WILL DISAPPOINT SOME AND ENTHRAL OTHERS -OVING ONTO 0OLANSKI S MORE FAMOUS MASTERPIECES -ACBETH
STANDS OUT FOR ITS ATTENTION TO HISTORICAL ACCURACY COMBINED TO PULLING THE STRONG FEEL OF 3HAKESPEAREAN THEATRE ONTO THE SILVER SCREEN 4HE CASTING OF *ON &INCH AS THE MURDEROUS 3COT HIMSELF IS AN EXCELLENT CHOICE AS HIS CHARISMA AND YOUTH COMBINE TO MAKE THE BELIEVABLE AND COMPLEX CHARACTER THAT 3HAKESPEARE S WRITINGS DESERVE 0OLANSKI S OWN ADDITION AN ENDING THAT HINTS AT MORE BLOODSHED OVER THE CROWN IS A CLEVER TWIST THAT PERHAPS EVEN OUTDOES THE GREAT POET !NOTHER HISTORICAL DRAMA 4ESS ALSO PROVIDES 0OLANSKI WITH AN EXCELLENT HIT AS A lLM VERSION OF 4ESS OF THE D 5RBERVILLES IT PORTRAYS AN INTIMATE VIEWING OF THE SUFFERING AND SEXISM ENDURED BY THE TITULAR HEROINE )T S INSPIRING MOVING DRAMATIC AND THOUGHTFUL AND 0OLANSKI S PERSONAL ATTACHMENT TO THIS lLM THROUGH ITS CONNECTION WITH HIS MURDERED WIFE 3HARON
4ATE SHINES THROUGHOUT &INALLY THE MOST WELL KNOWN MASTERPIECE 4HE 0IANIST WHICH SEES A GAUNT BUT UNFORGETTABLE !DRIEN "RODY SOMEHOW STAGGER THROUGH THE INFAMOUS 7ARSAW GHETTO /NCE AGAIN THE lLM IS INFUSED WITH INTIMACY TOWARDS THE MAIN CHARACTER COMING
THROUGH FROM 0OLANSKI S PERSONAL EXPERIENCES TO MAKE A MOVING AND THOUGHTFUL DRAMA OF SURVIVAL BRAVERY AND DESPAIR 4HROUGHOUT ALL OF THESE lLMS IT S EASY TO SEE THAT 0OLANSKI PREFERS TO CONCENTRATE ON SINGLE CHARACTERS EXPLORING THEM DEEPLY AND PERSONALLY ALLOWING THE
VIEWER TO BECOME SO ATTACHED TO CHARACTERS THAT THE SYMPATHY WE FEEL FOR THEM IS VERY REAL 0OLANSKI CAN BE BRILLIANT BUT NOT ALWAYS BUT AT LEAST YOU ARE GUARANTEED AN INTERESTING EXPERIENCE AND BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF OFTEN COMPLEX STORIES AND INDIVIDUALS !NDY *UDSON
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)N (ER 3HOES $IR #URTIS (ANSON 2ELEASED TH #ENTURY &OX
7RONGLY PUBLICISED AS A RUN OF THE MILL @CHICK mICK )N (ER 3HOES IS A FAMILY DRAMA FOLLOWING SISTERS -AGGIE #AMERON $IAZ AND 2OSE 4ONI #OLLETTE AS THEY CHANGE THEIR LIVES WHICH IS REmECTED THROUGH THEIR ATTITUDE TO SHOES ,UCY $AVIS WHO PLAYED $AWN IN 4HE /FlCE TURNED DOWN THE ROLE OF 2OSE REFUSING TO PLAY $IAZ S PLAIN COUNTERPART #OLLETTE TAKES UP THE ROLE AS THE PLAINER YET UNSURPRISINGLY MORE INTELLIGENT SISTER TO $IAZ S BLONDE PARTY GIRL (ANSON WHO DIRECTED ,! #ONlDENTIAL DISAPPOINTINGLY GIVES US AN AWKWARD lLM THAT WANTS TO GIVE US A FUNNY BUT MOVING ACCOUNT OF SIBLING RELATIONSHIP BUT NEITHER SISTER INVOKES APPEAL OR SYMPATHY 7ITH THE HUMOUR UNSUCCESSFUL THE lLM IS MISERABLE AND UNINVITING ,YDIA -OSSAHEBI
(OWL S -OVING #ASTLE $IR (AYAO -IYAZAGI 2ELEASED /PTIMUM (OME %NTERTAINMENT "ROKEN &LOWERS
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(AYAO -IYAZAGI S LATEST IS A BEGUILING TALE OF LOVE AND TRANSFORMATION "ASED ON $IANE 7YNNE *ONES S
FAIRY TALE NOVEL AND LITTERED WITH ALLUSIONS TO THE 7IZARD OF /Z THE 7ICKED 7ITCH OF THE 7EST BECOMES THE 7ITCH OF THE 7ASTE (OWL S -OVING #ASTLE IS A LITTLE SLIGHT SET NEXT TO THE EPIC FANTASY OF 0RINCESS -ONONOKE AND 3PIRITED !WAY BUT THE DARKER MOMENTS A WAR RAGES THROUGHOUT STEER THINGS CLEAR OF $ISNEY ESQUE WHIMSY !MONG THE RAG TAG COLLECTION OF BIZARRE AND OFTEN MORPHING CHARACTERS ARE A MUTE BOUNCING SCARECROW NAMED 4URNIPHEAD A MYSTERIOUS LONG HAIRED MUTT AND #ALCIFER VOICED ENERGETICALLY BY "ILLY #RYSTAL THE mAME WHO LIVES IN CONSTANT FEAR THAT HE WILL @GO OUT 3EB -ANLEY
4RANSPORTER $IR ,OUIS ,ETERRIER 2ELEASED TH #ENTURY &OX 4HIS ADRENALINE FUELLED SEQUEL FEATURES THE RETURN OF ULTRA COOL &RANK -ARTIN WHO RESIDES IN THAT PERFECT WORLD OF ACTION HEROES WHERE HIGH POWERED BULLETS ARE STOPPED BY THIN WOODEN TABLES CARS SEEM FAR MORE COMFORTABLE mYING THROUGH THE AIR THAN STICKING TO THE ROADS AND DRUG LORDS ROLL AROUND IN CHEESY STRETCH LIMOS /UR SLIGHTLY GRUMPY HERO HAS TAKEN A TEMPORARY JOB AS CHAUFFER TO THE
HEAD OF A GOVERNMENT DRUGS TASK FORCE AND SWINGS INTO ACTION WHEN THE POLITICIAN S SON IS KIDNAPPED 4HE PLOT HOWEVER IS PRACTICALLY IRRELEVANT AS THE POINT OF THIS MOVIE IS TO SWITCH YOUR BRAIN OFF AND LET THE mASHY CARS SEXY WOMEN AND ARSE KICKING lGHT SCENES WASH OVER YOU )T S LESS ENGAGING THAN THE ORIGINAL IF ONLY BECAUSE YOU DON T GET TO SEE *ASON 3TATHAM lGHTING TOPLESS WHILE COVERED IN OIL ,OUISE %ASTHOPE
"ROKEN &LOWERS $IR *IM *ARMUSCH 2ELEASED -OMEN TUM 0ICTURES "ROKEN &LOWERS IS THE STORY OF A MAN OF A CERTAIN AGE PLAYED BY "ILL -URRAY WHO HAS KNOWN MORE THAN A FEW WOMEN IN HIS TIME 7HEN A LETTER INFORMING HIM THAT HE HAS A SON LANDS ON HIS WELCOME MAT HE IS FORCED TO CONFRONT HIS LIFE OF UNSTA BLE AND UNFULlLLING RELATIONSHIPS 4HIS JOURNEY OF NOSTALGIC SELF DIS COVERY IS DONE REASONABLY WELL LARGELY BECAUSE OF -URRAY S ENJOY ABLE ONSCREEN PRESENCE (OWEVER BECAUSE OF THE lLM S DISAFFECTED STYLE ITS SEMINAL SCENES FEEL TOO SE DATED WHICH MAKES -URRAY S CHAR ACTER A DIFlCULT ONE TO REALLY FEEL AN EMOTIONAL CONNECTION WITH +ATE "RYANT
www.harry -hill.tv
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HE GREATEST JOY WHEN CLICKING THROUGH THE PAGES OF (ARRY (ILL S WEBSITE IS THE CONSTANT FEELING THAT THE MAN HIMSELF HAS WRITTEN AND CONCEIVED EVERY THING YOU SEE 4HE QUIRKY CHARM OF HIS STAND UP PERSONA IS INGRAINED IN THE SITE SO THAT IT BECOMES MORE THAN A CATALOGUE OF TOUR DATES AND NEWS AND ACTUALLY FEELS LIKE SOME THING THAT EXISTS FOR MORE THAN JUST THE NECESSARY /F COURSE THERE ARE ALL THE DETAILS YOU MIGHT LOG ON TO lND BUT THEY RE SOON FORGOTTEN IN FAVOUR OF lDDLING AROUND IN (ARRY S BIZARRE ONLINE WORLD &OR STARTERS UNBEKNOWNST TO MANY FANS (ARRY IS QUITE THE ART IST (E HAS A HEALTHY SCRAPBOOK SECTION THAT ILLUSTRATES HIS ONGOING TOUR %ACH NIGHT IS AFFORDED AT LEAST A FEW SKETCHES THAT SHOW THE WORLD FROM (ARRY S BESPECTACLED PERSPEC TIVE -OST OF THESE ARE SIMPLY PENCIL DOODLINGS BUT THEY RE UNDENIABLY HILARIOUS AND FURTHER THE FEELING THAT THIS ISN T JUST A WEBSITE FOR (AR
Internet
RY (ILL THIS IS (ARRY (ILL S WEBSITE 4HERE IS ALSO AN ARCHIVE OF (AR RY S PAINTINGS THAT TAKE ALL MANNER OF TOPICS FOR THEIR INSPIRATION /NE OUTSTANDING PIECE FEATURES "RIAN 7ILSON hOF "EACH "OYS &AMEv (IS LIKENESS IS FRAMED BY TWO GIGANTIC BUDGIES MAKING WHAT IS AN ODD BUT SOMEHOW VERY FUNNY PORTRAIT 4HERE ARE LOTS MORE PICTURES INVENTIONS CLIPS SONGS AND FACTS TO PERUSE ON THE SITE ALL WITH THAT SAME MIXTURE OF THE STRANGE AND AMUSING
4HE MOST IMPORTANT THING ABOUT WWW HARRY HILL TV IS THAT IT MANAGES TO MAKE THE INTERNET A FUNNY PLACE WHICH IS SURPRISINGLY RARE 4HERE ARE PLENTY OF AMUSING ANIMATIONS TO BE FOUND ONLINE EITHER ON INDIE SITES OF CIRCULATED BY E MAIL BUT MOST ARE EITHER lLTHY OR POLITICAL AND NONE ARE AS ACCESSIBLE AS THIS SITE 2ATHER THAN TAKE THE NOTION THAT A WEBSITE IS A DILUTED VERSION OF $6$S LIVE GIGS AND 46 PERFORM ANCES (ARRY (ILL HAS SHOWN THAT THE NET PROVIDES A VERY DIFFERENT BUT USEFUL FORUM FOR COMEDY AND USED IT TO GREAT EFFECT 7ALTER 0LINCH
Event 23 The