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!FTER GETTING BACK FROM THE #ON CRETE OFl CE LAST &RIDAY NIGHT ) SWITCHED ON THE 46 AS ) WAS TIDY ING MY ROOM ) KNEW THAT THE 3PICE 'IRLS AND "OYZONE WERE BOTH PER FORMING THEIR @COMEBACK SINGLES DURING #HILDREN )N .EED AND SO ) WATCHED WITH INTEREST AS THEY CAME ON AND BEGAN TO SING ) WAS NOT PREPARED FOR WHAT HAP PENED NEXT 4HE l VE GIRLS WHOM ) D ONCE IMITATED ON THE PRIMARY SCHOOL PLAYGROUND WERE NOW l VE SOMETHINGS PRANCING ABOUT ON STAGE WHILE m ASHING THEIR BOOBS IN A VAIN ATTEMPT TO PRETEND THEY RE AGAIN -IMING AS CONVINCINGLY AS IF -C&LY TRIED TO SING .ESSUN $ORMA THEY REALLY MADE ME WISH THEY D NEVER RECONCILED THEIR DIFFERENCES AND RECORDED THAT RIDICU LOUS NEW SONG WITH ITS VAGUELY PORNOGRAPHIC VIDEO 4HE SAME GOES FOR "OYZONE WHO ALTHOUGH STILL ABLE TO SING AND PERFORM IN A FAIRLY DECENT WAY ALSO DON T GIVE THE FEELING OF THE GROUP THEY ONCE WERE -IKEY LOOKS LIKE HE S ABOUT ) WISH THESE GROUPS WHO ) LOVED WHEN ) WAS TEN AND SANG THEIR SONGS WITH A HAIRBRUSH IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR WOULD STOP TRYING TO REFORM 0LEASE JUST LEAVE MY PRECIOUS CHILDHOOD MEMORIES WHERE THEY ARE 5NTIL NEXT TIME
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P 7HO ARE THE FUTURE DESIGNERS TO LOOK OUT FOR P 7ELCOME TO THE 'OLDEN !GE OF #OUTURE
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$EPUTY &ASHION 3ARAH (EAD (ANNAH 4AYLOR
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#ONTRIBUTORS *OANNA "LUMER #ARLEY &RENCH !LICE 3AGGERS .ICOLA 7ATSON &LORA 7ONG
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4AO +URIHARA
*ONATHAN 3AUNDERS
*ONATHAN 3AUNDERS TRAINED IN 'LASGOW AND AT #ENTRAL 3T -ARTINS ,ONDON AND AFTER GRADUATING WAS AWARDED THE ,ANCÙME #OLOUR !WARDS IN (IS UNIQUE PRINT DE SIGNS ARE THE RESULT OF HAND MADE SILK SCREENING AND THEY TAKE INm UENCE FROM NU MEROUS SOURCES INCLUDING THE INFAMOUS "AUHAUS /NE OF HIS l RST SHOWS AT &ASH
ION 7EEK FOR !UTUMN 7IN TER DEMONSTRATED THE LOUD AND DRAMATIC PRINTS ON JUST AS DRAMATIC SHAPES INCLUDING THE COCOON AND PONCHO COMBINED WITH COLOURED OPAQUE TIGHTS AND PRIMARY COLOURED SHOES (IS LATEST PROJECT IS A MAKE UP COLLECTION FOR "OOTS THE PACKAGING IS A BEAUTIFUL EX AMPLE OF HIS EXTRAVAGANCE
CONCEPTS SUCH AS A WEDDING THEME MADE ENTIRELY OF WHITE PAPER PLEATED AND SHAPED TO FORM MAGNIl CENT GOWNS (ER l RST COLLECTION WAS FULL OF CUTE KNITTED CORSETS AND CROCHETED HATS OF PASTEL COLOURS BRIM MING WITH RIBBONS PAIRED WITH MINIMALIST SHORTS AND CRISP WHITE SHIRTS !VAILABLE AT $OVER 3TREET -ARKET ,ONDON
%RIN &EATHERSTONE
#HRISTOPHER +ANE !GED JUST #HRISTOPHER +ANE THE 3COTTISH DE SIGNER HAS BECOME ONE OF THE FASHION PACK S HOTTEST NEWCOMERS AND WITH GOOD REASON (IS !UTUMN COL LECTION CAPTURES THE TACTILE MOOD OF THE SEASON IN THE USE OF VELVET AND LEATHER
4AO +URIHARA #ENTRAL 3T -ARTIN S GRADUATE IS 2EI +AWAKUBO S FOUNDER OF #OM MES DES 'ARCONS EXCEED INGLY INNOVATIVE YOUNG PRO TÏGÏ (AVING WORKED UNDER *UNYA 7ATANABE FOR YEARS SHE HAS HAD MUCH EXPERIENCE LEADING UP TO HER OWN SOLO LINES NOW MADE UP OF EXPERI MENTAL SHAPES AND IDEALISTIC
4HIS VELVET COCKTAIL DRESS IS A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF HIS WORK (IS 3PRING 3UMMER SHOW SUGGESTS A RETURN TO ROMANCE CHIFFON RUFm ES IN SHADES OF GREY BLUE AND SNAKESKIN TOUGHENED WITH HEELED PATENT BOOTS AND METALLIC TOE CAPS
#ALIFORNIA BORN 0ARIS RAISED %RIN &EATHERSTONE S LINE IS IDEAL FOR WOMEN LIKE HER CLOSE FRIEND +IRSTEN $UNST :OEEY $E SCHANEL AND ,ILY #OLE ,IGHT AND ANGELIC LIKE A BREATH OF SPRING HER DESIGNS ARE VERY FEMININE AND DREAMY YET ENTIRELY WEAR ABLE (OWEVER HER DREAMY AU TUMN WINTER COLLECTION IS A LIT TLE BLEAKER MOSTLY CONSISTING OF
&EATHERSTONE S MODELS IN HER ! 7 LINE
+ANE AND ,UCY MODELLING 4OPSHOP RANGE
COATS AND DRESSES IN DARK GREYS AND SILVERS PERFECT FOR WIN TER AND GIRLY GLITTERING CAPES REMINISCENT OF SNOWm AKES AND BOTANIC IMAGERY !LSO HAVING RECENTLY MADE A l LM WITH %LLEN VON 5NWERTH AND A SECOND COL LECTION SHOWING IN .EW 9ORK SHE SEEMS SET TO HAVE HER LABEL ESTABLISHED VERY SOON 4AO +URIHARA EXPERI MENTAL DESIGNS
7INTER ACCESSORIES MAKING ITS GLORI ITH THE COLD WEATHER WAY TO POLISH OFF OUS DEBUT WHAT BETTER DD Y A ING A LITTLE BIT OF THAT WINTER OUTl T THAN B ENGTH OR ELBOW LENGTH WARMTH "ERETS ANKLE L EN S TO ION DIT ERFECT AD GLOVES AND SCARVES ARE P LITTLE SOMETHING EXTRA D A NEE AY AT M S TH SEMBLE YOU WARM WHICH IS AND THEY MAY EVEN KEEP RIGHT WHAT WE RE REALLY AFTERx !LICE 3AGGERS
&OOTLESS TIGHTS a !SOS
7
-ISS 3ELFRIDGE 2US SIAN 'REY 3CARF a
(OORAY FOR THE BER ET (ERRING a 2ED S AM H $EBEN
"ERETS ARE SO IN THIS SEASON SO WE THOUGHT WE WOULD GIVE YOU A FEW POINTERS ON HOW TO WEAR THEM 4HE CLASSIC
PLAIN WO OL RETS BERETS TEN TEND TO SU D TO LOOK B IT ET BUT TER WORN WEAR THEM BOTH AT A JAUN ON THE TY BACK ANGLE WIT OF THE H SHORT HEAD IN DE STEA l NED HAIR D OF PULL STYLES E G E D DOWN TH E "OB FOR 0ARISIAN CH LOW AT THE FRON T "ERETS IC ARE A WHERE AS PU THE CHUN KY OF CO RSE FRIENDLY WAY KNITTED VA MPLETELY U RIETY LOOK PDATING IN YOU l NITELY CO R LOOK A OLER WITH L ND WHAT S ONG MO m OWING B RE TH OHO TRESS ES YOU W EY HELP TO KEEP 4HE NEW S A EQUINNED "E COLD RM DURING THOSE WINTER M ONTHS
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(AS YOUR FAVOURITE KNITWEAR GOT A HOLE &EAR NOT WITH OUR FOOLPROOF GUIDE TO DARNING YOUR FAVOURITE PIECE WILL BE REJUVENATED 9OU WILL NEED KNITWEAR .EEDLE MENDING WOOL P AVALIABLE IN (AB ERDASHERY STORES OR *OHN ,EWIS SCISSORS 3TART BY THREADING THE WOOL IN STRAIGHT LINES OVER THE HOLE AS THOUGH MAKING LONG STITCHES ACROSS IT MAKING THEM AS CLOSE TOGETHER AS POS SIBLE -AKE LONG STITCHES ACROSS IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION ALTHOUGH THIS TIME WEAVE THESE THREADS IN AND OUT OF THE THREADS YOU HAVE ALREADY MADE A SIMILAR TECHNIQUE TO WEAVING AGAIN KEEPING THEM AS CLOSE TOGETHER AS POSSIBLE )F ALL GOES WELL YOU SHOULD HAVE A HOLE FREE CARDI *OANNA "ULMER
&
ANCY A BIT OF FASHION CUL TURE 4AKE A BREAK FROM COURSEWORK AND GO TO ,ON DON TO SEE WHAT THE FASH IONISTAS ARE HEADING TO 4HE 'OLDEN !GE OF #OUTURE AT THE 6ICTORIA AND !LBERT -USE UM 4HIS GLAMOROUS EXHIBI TION RECREATES THE FABULOUS POST WAR ERA OF FASHION IN 0ARIS AND ,ONDON THAT WAS BEGUN BY #HRISTIAN $IOR AND HIS @.EW ,OOK /THER DESIGNERS SOON FOLLOWED IN HIS FOOTSTEPS TO CREATE SPECTACULAR ONE OFF AND READY TO WEAR GARMENTS FOR PROLIl C CLIENTS $ISPLAYED IN THE EX HIBITION ARE EXAMPLES OF WORK FROM 'IVENCHY $IOR "ALMAIN "ALENCIAGA #HANEL AND (ARDY !MIES 4HESE INCLUDE DISPLAYS OF DAYWEAR AND TAILORING THE MOST POPULAR COMMIS SIONS COCKTAIL DRESSES AND EVENING GOWNS 4HESE GAR MENTS WERE ACCOMPANIED
BY THE CONTEMPORARY FASH ION PHOTOGRAPHY OF THE AGE FROM MAGAZINES SUCH AS (ARPERS "AZAAR AND 6OGUE 4HE WORK OF THE NEW LOOK HAS INSPIRED COUNT LESS OTHER DESIGNERS OVER THE DECADES AND NO LESS THIS SEASON 4HE "OTTEGA 6ENETA COLLECTION SHOWN IN -ILAN FOR ! 7 DEMONSTRATED THE INm U ENCE OF @.EW ,OOK TAILOR ING VERSIONS ARE ALL AROUND THE (IGH 3TREET THIS SEASON 7EAR A l TTED JACKET LAY ERED OVER A KNITTED SWEATER AND WITH SKINNY JEANS FOR A MODERN TAKE )TS NEVER TOO EARLY TO START CHECKING OUT DRESSES FOR THE #HRIST MAS SEASON AND THIS DRESS BY +AREN -ILLEN a IS PERFECT FOR GRABBING THAT PIECE OF VINTAGE STYLE AND IS A BEAUTIFUL AND MORE REA SONABLE UPDATE ON A HOT PINK $IOR COCKTAIL GOWN OF 4HE EXHIBITION RUNS TO TH *ANUARY *OANNA "ULMER
"EADED SILK DRESS 6ALENTINO aLOADS
(OW TO WEAR ANKLE BOOTS 7E HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH THIS SEASON S HOTTEST SHOE THE HIGH HEELED ANKLE BOOT BUT WHAT S THE BEST THING TO WEAR THEM WITH 4IP
4AFFETA 3HIRTDRESS a +AREN -ILLEN
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"ACK TO "ASICS (OW TOx GET TH
AT NATURAL LOOK
.OW WINTER IS SETTING IN IT IS THE PERFECT TIME TO MASTER THE @NATURAL LOOK BECAUSE LONG COLD DAYS ON CAMPUS REQUIRE LOOKING STUNNING BUT WITH MINIMAL EFFORT 3TEP #ONCEALER #OVER ANY BLEMISHES AND DARK CIRCLES UNDER THE EYES 4RY AND PICK A
)F YOU LIKE YOUR DRESSES AND SKIRTS SHORT THEN THIS IS THE LOOK FOR YOU &ITTED DRESSES AND PUFFBALL SKIRTS BOTH LOOK AMAZING WITH ANKLE BOOTS
SHADE THAT MATCHES YOUR SKINTONE BUT IF NOT GO SLIGHTLY DARKER BECAUSE GOING LIGHTER UNDER THE EYES MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE YOU VE SEEN A GHOST 7E WOULD RECOMMEND "ENEl T S "OI ING IN SHADE OR 93, 4OUCHE %CLAT
4IP
7E LOVE TO WEAR OURS WITH LONG LEGGINGS AND A KNITTED DRESS IN THE DAY )F YOU AREN T A FAN OF LEGGINGS THEN SKINNY JEANS WORK JUST AS WELL EVEN MORE SO WITH RED BOOTS 2EMEMBER CROPPED LEGGINGS ARE A BIG NO NO
3TEP &OUNDATION !PPLY USING EITHER A
4IP
4HERE ARE SO MANY VARIETIES OF TIGHTS AROUND AT THE MOMENT WHY NOT EXPERIMENT (OT PINK TIGHTS WITH BLACK PATENT BOOKS WORK EXTREMELY WELL BUT MY CURRENT FAVOURITE LOOK IS TO KEEP IT SIMPLE WITH BLACK OPAQUE TIGHTS A MINI DRESS AND LOTS OF NECKLACES #ARLY &RENCH
SPONGE OR A FOUNDATION BRUSH TO CREATE MAXI MUM COVERAGE QUICKLY THEN l NISH BY ONCE AGAIN BLENDING IN WITH YOUR l NGERTIPS ESPE CIALLY AROUND THE CHIN AND NOSE AREA
3TEP &INISHING TOUCHES #HOOSE AN APPRO
PRIATE COLOUR OF BLUSHER AND WHILST SMILING USE A PUFF BRUSH TO SWEEP FROM THE APPLES OF YOUR CHEEKS UPWARDS &INALLY APPLY A LIGHT SHADE OF EYE SHADOW ACROSS THE WHOLE LID ADD A THIN COAT OF BROWN OR BLACK MASCARA AND A PALE LIP COLOUR TO SET THE LOOK
.ICOLA 7ATSON "EAUTY #ONSULTANT
4
5%! 3 -INOTAUR 3HORTS &ESTIVAL
HE 5%! $RAMA 3TUDIO EVER THE HOME OF MANY A BUSY THESPIAN WAS ESPECIALLY PREOCCUPIED WITH 4HE -INOTAUR 3HORTS &ESTIVAL A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO 4HIS FOR THE LESS DRA MATICALLY ENGROSSED IS THE ANNUAL SHOWCASE OF SHORT PLAYS WRITTEN BY 5%! STUDENTS AND PRODUCED BY THE INDEPENDENTLY RUN -INOTAUR 4HEA TRE #OMPANY +ICK STARTING THE EVENING WITH A SHARP SHOCK WAS 3PLINTERED ,IGHT WRITTEN BY THE FANTASTICALLY NAMED $ANIEL 3TRANGER 4HIS WAS THE SLIGHT LY SURREAL STORY OF A BAND OF CIRCUS FREAKS WHO BREAK FREE FROM THEIR HUMILIATION AND OPPRESSION TO RUN A CHAOTIC WORLD OF HEDONISM AND REVENGE 4HE EMOTIONALLY CHARGED PERFORMANCES PROVIDED BY *ENNY 4YLER AND *OE 7RIGHT AS THE MAIN INSTIGATORS OF THE REBELLION +ETTLYN AND 4OVIAS ONLY ENHANCED THE IM PRESSION THAT THIS IS WHAT THE 2US SIAN 2EVOLUTION WOULD HAVE LOOKED LIKE IF IT HAPPENED ON THE SET OF $AYS ,ATER )T WAS AN INTERESTING PIECE WELL STAGED BUT UNFORTUNATELY WRONGLY PLACED lRST ON THE BILL THE CONSTANT HIGH DRAMA LEFT THE AUDI ENCE EXHAUSTED BEFORE THE SECOND SLOT WAS EVEN THOUGHT OF AND RESULT ED IN MANY A MEANDERING CONCEN
TRATION LEVEL %VENTUALLY THE SECOND SLOT WAS THOUGHT OF AND MANIFESTED ITSELF IN THE FORM OF -IDDLE 'ROUND WRIT TEN BY (AMISH -ORGAN A DAY IN THE LIFE AND MIND OF (ARRY THE STU DENT FROM ,ONDON PLAYED BY 7ILL )SGROVE WHO WITNESSES THE BIRTH OF A FRIEND S MOTHER S SEMI 2USSIAN BABY AND THE MURDER OF ANOTHER FRIEND WHILE HIS MENTAL STATE IS NAR RATED IN RHYMING VERSE BY THE WRITER NO LITERALLY 3OUNDS LIKE A CONFUS ING MIXTURE BUT IT WASN T ENTIRELY 4HE VERSE WAS JUXTAPOSED WITH IM PRESSIVELY REALISTIC DIALOGUE AND THE ONGOING CYCLE OF LIFE AND DEATH REAL ISED SUCCINCTLY AND POIGNANTLY 4HE ONLY DISAPPOINTMENT PERHAPS CAME FROM THE SCENE WHERE (ARRY S FRIEND 9URI REELS OFF A PAGE OF #HUCK .OR RIS JOKES IT UNDOUBTEDLY PROMPTED THE BIGGEST LAUGH OF THE PLAY DUE TO 0AUL "ASTON S SUBTLY HILARIOUS DELIV ERY BUT IT WAS DISAPPOINTING IN THAT THE BIGGEST LAUGH CAME FROM SOME THING LIFTED FROM A WEBSITE AND NOT THE SCRIPT .EXT UP WAS 4ELEVISION "REAKDOWN
AGAIN NARRATED IN RHYMING VERSE BUT THIS TIME BY @THE FRIENDLY LOCAL POET WHICH IS NICELY INDICATIVE OF THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THIS AND THE PREVIOUS SHORT )NVENTIVELY WRITTEN BY (ANNAH 3TRAWSON THIS IS THE TALE
"EEN )NVOLVED ! NIGHT WITH .ORMAN ,OVETT 4O THE MODERN GENERATION THE NAME OF .ORMAN ,OVETT ISN T ONE THAT IS INSTANTLY ASSOCIATED AS BEING AMONG THE BIG NAMES IN "RITAIN S STAND UP COMEDY CIRCUIT 4HE MEN TION OF CULT TELEVISION PHENOMENON 2ED $WARF AND LOVABLY OAlSH COM PUTER (OLLY BRINGS BACK MUCH GREAT ER MEMORIES TO THE TEENAGERS AND TWENTY SOMETHINGS OF TODAY AND IT IS FOR THIS THAT ,OVETT IS BEST KNOWN 5NKNOWN TO MANY IN THIS YOUNGER GENERATION ,OVETT HAS ALSO BEEN ONE OF "RITAIN S FORE MOST STAND UP COMEDIANS FOR AP PROACHING THIRTY YEARS #OMBINING THOSE WHO KNOW HIM AS THE CO MEDIAN AND THOSE WHO KNOW HIM SIMPLY AS (OLLY IT CAME AS LITTLE SURPRISE TO SEE THE TINY !RTS #EN
TRE IN .ORWICH SELL OUT AND EVEN REQUIRE MANY TO RESORT TO STAND IN ORDER TO BE ACCOMMODATED 9ET IN MANY WAYS THEY WERE TO BE LET DOWN .ORMAN ,OVETT S 3LIDESHOW DID NOT COME ACROSS AS A STAND UP SHOW AT ALL MORE TALES FROM HIS TRAVELS AROUND THE NATION FOLLOWED BY GRUMPY COMMENTS RELATING TO THE SLIDESHOW OF PHO TOGRAPHS THAT FOLLOWED 'RUMPY /LD -EN WOULD POSSIBLY BE A MORE SUITABLE SETTING FOR SUCH OPINIONS RANGING FROM SIMPLE PHOTOS OF HIS WASHING MACHINE TO ANGER AT SELlSH CAR PARKERS HE ENCOUNTERS 9ET ,OVETT S SAVING GRACE IS HIS DEADPAN TONE WITH WHICH HE CAN CONVEY HIS PLEASINGLY CYNICAL COM MENTS &ROM THE SILLY h*UST TO PROVE ) M NOT COMPLETELY AGAINST EVERY THING 'ERMAN HERE S MY VACUUM CLEANERv TO THE ABSURD h(ERE S A PREGNANT TREEv A WIDE RANGE OF POINTLESS TOPICS ARE CHALLENGED IN A POSITIVE AND AUDIENCE PLEASING WAY ,OVETT MAY BE BETTER OFF COM ING BACK WITH A MORE TRADITIONAL STAND UP TOUR THAN HIS SHOW ING HERE BUT ON THE EVIDENCE OF HIS FAN BASE THERE S LITTLE SURPRISE THAT HE CONTINUES TO SELL OUT SUCH SMALL VENUES ACROSS THE NATION SINCE 2ED $WARF SMEGGED OFF -ATT 2AMSAY
OF A COUPLE WHO HAVE SPENT THEIR WHOLE LIVES STUCK IN FRONT OF A TEL EVISION UNTIL DISASTROUSLY ANALOGUE SWITCHES TO DIGITAL AND THE BREAK DOWN OCCURS SOMETHING FEARED BY ALL AND THE COUPLE ARE LEFT TO THEIR MONOSYLLABIC SOCIALLY INEPT SELVES TO BRAVE THE PERILOUS JOURNEY TO THE ELECTRICAL SHOP 4HERE WERE MANY HILARIOUS MOMENTS PLAYED ENDEAR INGLY BY -YLES "ROCK AND ,IZZY 4AL BOT WITH RATHER AESTHETICALLY PLEAS ING SQUARE EYED MAKE UP IT MUST BE NOTED AND THE GUIDING POET 3AMUEL (ONEYWILL ! CHARMING PLAY WHICH CAME ON LIKE A NURSERY RHYME FOR THE -46 GENERATION &ROM -46 TO THE S IT SEEMS +EEPING IT IN THE &AMILY IS A
BLACK COMEDY ABOUT THE STRANGE NESS OF FAMILIAL RELATIONS BUT WITH THESE RELATIONS STRANGER THAN MOST 4HE TWISTS IN THE STORY NEED TO BE SEEN TO BE BELIEVED WITH THE CON STANT ONSLAUGHT OF MARRIAGE MURDER AND BETRAYAL MOUNTING TO EXTREME HILARITY %VERY PART WAS PLAYED WON DERFULLY FROM THE DELIGHTFULLY SLUTTY %LLA "ROWN AS MOTHER 2EBECCA TO HER SWEETLY DODDERING lANCÏ 7ILL 'IBBONS AS 0AUL FROM THE JITTERING MENACE THAT WAS 2UTH 3ANDELL AS 3ILVIA TO THE FRANKLY UPROARI OUS 4OM -ORAN AS -ATT PROVIDING THE BIGGEST LAUGHS OF THE NIGHT WITH A TOUCH OF *OHN #LEESE ABOUT HIM &ULL CREDIT HOWEVER MUST BE DUE TO THE WRITER !MBER $ODD WHO KEPT
THE LAUGHS GOING WITH STICKY SITUA TIONS AND CONSTANT mAIR 3LIGHTLY LESS OF A SHORT BUT EVER JUST AS ENJOYABLE WAS "LESSED "E -Y "EDPAN BY !NT #ULE THE STORY OF LOVE BETWEEN TWO UNLIKELY RESI DENTS OF 3T %NGELBERT S (OSPICE "EDPAN "ESSIE SO CALLED BECAUSE OF THE TENDENCY FOR HER BLADDER TO GET UP AND WALK AROUND NATURALLY AND 3TEPHEN A YOUNGER CANCER PA TIENT !GAIN THE WRITING WAS SUPERB AND THIS SHORT WAS TOLD IN A FUNNY TOUCHING AND SENSITIVE MANNER BY INTERWEAVING THE MAIN PLOT WITH MANY MEMORABLE AND EQUALLY EN GAGING CHARACTERS 0ARTICULARLY NO TABLE WERE *ENNY +IRBY S "ESSIE WHO RESTORED YOUR FAITH IN THE ELDERLY TO WARM THE COCKLES OF YOUR HEART AND A WITTY SHOW STEALING MONOLOGUE FROM 3COTT "ROWN AS THE /LD -AN "EDPAN ACHIEVED A PERFECT BALANCE BETWEEN THE HEART RENDING AND THE HILARIOUS 7HEREVER THE AUDIENCE S FAVOUR ITISM LAY ON THE NIGHT IT WAS CLEAR TO ALL THAT THERE ARE SOME CRACKING PERFORMERS AND WRITERS AT 5%! AND TO PASS UP THE OPPORTUNITY TO ENJOY AN EVENING IN THEIR PRESENCE WAS TO SEVERELY MISS OUT ON A DELIGHTFUL SIDE SPLITTING AND THOUGHT PROVOK ING NIGHT IN THE $RAMA 3TUDIO -ELISSA 9ORK
"EEN )NVOLVED .O /NE SEES THE "ARN "OMBING DOWN TO 7ENSUM 3TREET ON ONE S BIKE IS ALWAYS ENTERTAINING .OT LEAST BECAUSE THIS AFTERNOON S REASON HAPPENS TO BE A JAUNT TO /UTPOST 'ALLERY .ORWICH S LEAD ING CONTEMPORARY ART GALLERY TO SEE THE NEW EXHIBITION .O /NE 3EES 4HE "ARN 4HIS EXHIBITION DISPLAYS THE WORK OF *O !DDISON A .3!$ GRADU ATE AND THE TITLE OF THE EXHIBITION IS APT DUE TO THE CONCEALED NATURE OF THE GALLERY ITSELF AND THE FACT THAT IF THE GALLERY SPACE WAS TO BE TRANS PORTED TO THE WILDS OF .ORFOLK THEN IT COULD EASILY BE A BARN BUT WE DI GRESS (OWEVER 4HE "ARN IS NOT THE GALLERY ITSELF )T IS A METAPHOR FOR THE WAY IN WHICH THE VISITOR IS MANIPU LATED THROUGH THE SPACE 4HIS MOVE MENT IS PROPELLED BY THE LARGEST OB JECT A BOULDER SHAPED BLACK MASS WHICH CENTRES THE OBJECTS TOGETHER )TS MULTI PLANED SURFACE POINTS TO WARDS ALL THE CORNERS OF THE ROOM LEADING THE VISITOR TOWARDS THE THREE SMALLER PIECES 4HESE IN TURN ARE EVOCATIVE OF CHILDHOOD JOURNEYS AS CROUCHING DOWN ON THE mOOR TO VIEW THE MUL TI COLOURED mICKERING LIGHTS HIDDEN BEHIND A PLANK OF WOOD PAINTED BLACK IS REMINISCENT OF NIGHT TIME EXPEDITIONS IN THE FAMILY CAR 4HE
EVER CHANGING PATTERNS OF LIGHT AND THE VIEWS WITNESSED THROUGH THE PASSENGER WINDOWS ARE A KEY CON CEPT WITHIN THIS EXHIBITION !NOTHER OBJECT WHICH USES THIS MOTIF EVOKES THE CITYSCAPE AS WIT NESSED FROM AFAR 4HIS AGAIN USES A BLACKED OUT PIECE OF WOOD WITH OUT A LIGHT BEHIND IT WHICH SHINES THROUGH THE CARVED SPACE RESEM BLING EITHER SUPERMARKET WRITING ACCORDING TO THE /UTPOST BLURB OR THE SIGNS OF (OPPERS TWENTY FOUR HOUR ROAD SIDE CAFES 4HIS IS THE WORLD IN WHICH THE EXHIBITION IN HABITS BUT INSTEAD OF SUGGESTING THE INNATE SEEDINESS OF THIS WORLD AS EXEMPLIlED BY %DWARD (OPPER IT BRINGS TO MIND THE PURE INNOCENCE OF VIEWING THE WORLD FROM A WIN DOW AND THE COMFORT OF WATCHING THE NIGHT FALL 4HE LAST OBJECT EXEMPLIlES THE
MINIATURIST TRADITION AS PLACED IN SIDE A HOLE IN THE WALL A DIMINU TIVE PICNIC TABLE AND BENCH SURVEY THE EXHIBITION FROM THEIR CAVE LIKE SHELTER 4HE MINIATURE IS A FASCINAT ING PART OF ART PRODUCTION AS IN THE TH CENTURY THE MINIATURE POR TRAITIST .ICHOLAS (ILLIARD DESCRIBED THE RULES OF LIFE FOR THIS PROCESS NO WOMEN BOOZE ROUGH SPORT AND ONLY GENTLE MUSIC TO LISTEN TO )T IS OBVIOUS THAT THESE IDEAS STILL PREVAIL WITHIN *O !DDISON S WORK AS THERE IS A STILLNESS EMANATING THROUGH THE EXHIBITION !S YOU LEAVE AN INNATE SENSE OF CALM LINGERS THROUGH THE GALLERY AS THE CITY NIGHT DRAWS IN .O /NE 3EES 4HE "ARN IS OPEN UNTIL THE ST .OVEMBER /UTPOST B 7ENSUM 3TREET .ORWICH NOON TO PM DAILY 3UZANNA #ULLEN
2EVIEW )S 4HIS 3UPPOSED 4O "E &UNNY
0ERHAPS 4HE %VENT IS BIASED BUT ANY BOOK WHICH 4HE 3UN HAS WANTED TO BAN WILL BE READ WIDELY IN THE OFlCE )S 4HIS 3UPPOSED 4O "E &UNNY IS A SELECTION OF COMICS ALL FUNNY AND ALL IN ABSOLUTELY AW FUL TASTE $AGSSON THE AUTHOR GRADUATED FROM THE )CELAND !CADEMY OF THE !RTS IN AND RECIEVED HIS lRST BOOK DEAL IN 4HE BOOK IS DEVISIVE WITH SOME CARTOONS PERHAPS BEING A LITTLE TOO EXTREME &OR INSTANCE THERE IS ONE WHICH PICTURES A SMALL CHILD HOLD ING A PIECE OF PAPER UP TO AN OLD LADY SAYING h) MADE THIS DRAWING FOR YOU IN +INDERGARTEN 'RANNY .OW CAN ) PUT MY TONGUE IN YOUR MOUTH v -AKE OF THAT WHAT YOU WILL 4HAT SAID THE STICK lGURES THAT DOMINATE THE PAGES OF THE BOOK ARE THE HEART AND SOUL OF THE UNCOMFORTABLE HUMOUR THAT IS AT PLAY (IS ABILITY TO PORTRAY PEOPLE IN ALL FORMS FROM FAT DISGUSTING MEN TO OVERLY THIN MODELS IS IMPRESSIVE AND IT IS THIS EXPRESSIVENESS WHICH MAKES THE BOOK WHAT IT IS
h9OU BROKE UP 7HAT HAPPENED v h7E JUST DIDN T lT 3HE S A 3AGITTARIUS AND ) M A HOMOSEXUAL v !N INTERESTING TRAIT OVER THE LAST FEW YEARS HAS BEEN THE RISE OF COMICS AND CARTOONS FOR THE ADULT MARKET ! GOOD EXAMPLE IS &AMILY 'UY $AGSSON IS &AMILY 'UY TIMES TEN HUR TLING THROUGH A RELATIVELY CONSERVATIVE SECTION OF %NGLAND AND SCREAMING ABOUT REDUCING IN COME DISPARITY AND GIVING EVERY COUNCIL ESTATE RESIDENT A NEW HOME IN A NICE AND RELATIVELY EXPENSIVE SUBURBAN NEIGHBOURHOOD "OOKS LIKE THESE ARE NECESSARY 4HEIR CON
lDENT AND INCESSANT IRREVERENCE WARMS THE COCKLES AND lRES THE IMAGINATION !LSO IF $AGSSON IS THE ONE MAKING FUN OF TO NAME BUT A FEW INFANTICIDE RAPE PAEDOPHILIA SUI CIDE MURDER MASS MURDER THIN PEOPLE FAT PEOPLE OBESE PEOPLE MODELS CHILDREN GRIEV ING FAMILIES ,ENNY +RAVITZ .AZIS SEX SATIS FACTION CONTENTMENT AND LONELY PEOPLE THEN HE IS DOING A SERVICE TO THE WORLD BECAUSE AS LONG AS SOMEONE IS PAYING THESE ISSUES THE IR REVERENCE THEY SO RARELY EXPERIENCE THEN THE GENERAL POPULATION DON T HAVE TO )NSTEAD THEY CAN DO WHAT THIS REVIEWER DID WHICH IS TO PICK UP THE BOOK AND LAUGH AWKWARDLY AND GUILT ILY AT EVERY SINGLE JOKE WHILE TRYING TO DISGUISE THE LAUGHTER THROUGH AN ELABORATE SYSTEM OF COUGHS VERBAL TICS AND UTTERANCES VERGING ON 4OURETTES )F ALL THINGS THAT 4HE 3UN RILES AGAINST ARE THIS GOOD THEN 4HE %VENT FOR ONE WILL BE LOOKING OUT FOR THEM IN THE FUTURE 4O ASSESS THE LAUGHABILITY OF THE BOOK THE REVIEWER ENTERED THE #ONCRETE OFlCE AND ASKED SOME OF THE GREAT AND GOOD BEHIND THE ILLUSTRI OUS RAG FOR THEIR OPINIONS !NDY *ONES /PINIONS %DITOR h)T S PLAIN META AWESOME v %MIL !LLARD #HIEF 0HOTOGRAPHY h4HIS BOOK IS LIKE READING 4HE "IBLE ON lRE 7ICKED v &IONA "ILLINGS %VENT %DITOR h)T S JUST WEIRD v &AY (ARRIS $EPUTY !RTS %DITOR h) THINK IT ILLUSTRATES EVERYTHING WE WANT TO SAY BUT NEVER DO v 3UZANNA #ULLEN #REATIVE 7RITING %DITOR h3UBLIMELY POLITICALLY INCORRECT v )T IS THE OPINION OF THIS REVIEWER THAT EVERY CHILD SHOULD GET THIS FOR BOOK FOR #HRISTMAS )T S AVAILABLE FROM ALL GOOD BOOKSHOPS *ACK #LARK
! $AY IN THE ,IFE OF A 3TUDENT 3TEREOTYPE $EAR -UM AND $AD
4HANKS FOR THE MONEY YOU SENT ) BOUGHT FOURTEEN 0OT .OODLES SOME BOOKS FOR MY COURSE AND A MASSIVE TUB OF CRACKERS SO THAT SHOULD KEEP ME GOING FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS 5NIVERSITY IS A LOT OF WORK BUT ) AM lNDING TIME TO lT SOME FUN IN WE GOT RID OF OUR OUT OF DATE FOOD BY THROWING AN ACTIVITY NIGHT FEATURING SOFT MELON BOWLING SKATE ON THE LUMPY MILK AND ,EAFY 9ELLOW &LOWER !RRANGING ) M ENJOYING A VASE OF BROC COLI ENCASED IN WILTING CABBAGE LEAVES AND TOPPED OFF WITH A SQUIDGY OPEN AUBERGINE AS ) M WRITING THIS 4HE KITCHEN S A BIT OF A STATE THOUGH BUT IT S NOTHING A WIPE AROUND WITH A BIT OF VINEGAR WON T SOLVE 9OU ARE RIGHT CARRYING A PLASTIC BAG TO CHECK INTO CLOAKROOMS CHEAPER IS A GREAT IDEA IT SAVED ME P THE OTHER NIGHT BUT $AN SPLIT THE BAG WHILST TRYING TO GET lVE COATS AND FOUR PAIRS OF #ONVERSE IN THERE AND SCREAMED h$AMN v SO ) THINK THE CLOAKROOM GUY NOTICED 7E RE USED THEM THOUGH FOR OUR WINGS 7E WERE THE ONLY mOCK OF SEAGULLS AT THE "EACH 0ARTY FOR SOME REASON ) MEAN WHO WEARS THEIR UNDERWEAR TO THE BEACH /H SPEAKING OF DON T SEND ME ANY MORE ) CAN WASH MY CLOTHES AGAIN BECAUSE ) WON A BET THAT 2EBECCA COULDN T LIVE OFF OF GRAVY GRANULES FOR TWO WEEKS 3HE S NOT AS HARDCORE AS US ,OVE FROM 4HE 3TUDENT -ISER -ELISSA 9ORK
7RITERS BLOCK
4HE 2OOM 7ITHOUT ! 6IEW
4HERE ARE BOUNCERS IN MY BRAIN ,ET ME IN ) M PAYING SIX POUNDS ON THE DOOR BUT THE MUSIC IS SHIT 7HAT A WASTE OF TIME #AN T GO NEXT DOOR )T S CLOSED ) VE BEEN STARING DOWN BARE STREETS AT BLANK SHEETS ) M RENTING IN A CUL DE SAC ) JUST NEED TO GET OUT 'ET IN -ENTAL BLOCK 7HAT TO WRITE 3OMETHING WITTY CLEVER SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF 7HICH IDIOT GAVE )NSPIRATION THE DAY OFF ,UCKY SOD 4HERE MUST BE A WAY IN ! WAY THROUGH THEM 4HE BOUNCERS IN MY BRAIN ,ET ME IN @) M A REGULAR ) PLEAD 7HAT DO THEY MEAN THAT S NOT GOOD ENOUGH ) M NOT GOOD ENOUGH ) M RENTING IN A CUL DE SAC
7HEN THE SLEEPY HEAT OF A WINTER SUN lLLS MY ROOM
#LOGGING MY HEAD WITH DULL IRON WEIGHT
) LOOK OUT AND SEE THE RAIN 4HE RAIN THAT SILENTLY FALLS FROM SUNNY SKIES !ND THOUGH THE SEA IS FAR AWAY ! MOCKING GULL SINGS ITS THROATY SONG !ROUND THESE ARTIlCIAL CAVERNS OF ROCK (IS REBELLIOUS VOICE ECHOES
-ERGED WITH THE STEADY LULL OF THE DRIPPING RAIN #LOYING WISPS OF JEALOUS CLOUD GATHER ROUND THE TIPS OF TREES
4RAPPING THIS STRANGE IMITATION IN WRAPPINGS OF GULLING GREY *ON "ALDWIN
4HE MUSIC S SHIT ANYWAY )MAGE "Y %MILY 7EST
"RIXTON $RY BATTLESHIP TEXT FEEDBACK STREET CAFFEINE RIVER 4HAMES SODA THE STYLE LEAKED LIKE A PHOTO 3ELLING LANDSCAPE P PHOTOCOPY MACHINES RECORD THE BEDSIT PROGRAMME
KISSING IN THE CHEMIST S THE DEALERS SKID AND PARK A CAFE UNDER YOUR NOSE THE DAY OF THE WEEK A lELD STAMPED INTO THE SKY IT S EASY TO WALK THRU 4HEY VE WORN THE WORLD IN BORN OUTSIDE THEIR lNGERPRINTS R mOWERS THERE S A HALLWAY UNDERGROUND BOOKSHOPS SPIN THEIR DUST IN TOILETS YOUR SONG ON THE &RIDAY RADIOS IN THE 2UBICON MARKET
%MILY 7EST
h)MPORTANCEv ) AM HERE LISTEN TO ME ) AM A SIMPLE MAN 7ITH MANY IDEAS AND IDEALS ,ISTEN TO ME )GNORE THE MEDIA
$ISREGARD YOUR FRIENDS &ORGET YOUR PARENTS ,ISTEN TO ME ) AM ALL THAT THERE IS !ND YOU ARE HERE TOO ) COME WITH A MESSAGE ,ISTEN TO ME ) TELL YOU TO LOOK AROUND YOU
4HE FERTILE GROUND 4HE SKY FOREVER BLUE ,ISTEN TO ME ) AM YOUR MOTHER !ND ALL WHO YOU EVER KNEW AND SOME YOU DIDN T 4HOSE WHO KNEW WHAT WAS GOOD FOR YOU ,ISTEN TO ME .EVER MIND YOUR SELF IMPORTANCE 9OU CALL THAT A FALL FROM GRACE #ROUCH AND HEAR MY PLEA ,ISTEN TO ME 4HE THING TO REALISE 4HAT WE MOSTLY THINK /F NOTHING AT ALL -ARCUS +EELEY
+YLE AND THE 7AR
4HEY WERE THERE AT THE START 7ITH THEIR HALF EATEN CUPS OF CREAM
!ND DELICIOUS EPIPHANIES ) SOAKED MY HANDS IN WATER LOOKING FOR BUBBLES
"UT THE CARELESS SUN MADE THE ROOM UNEASY 4HERE HAS BEEN LOTS TO DO THIS SUMMER 4HOUGH ) CANT REMEMBER MUCH
-Y HEAD SWELLS LIKE A SWELLED UP THING 4HAT HAS INDEED BEEN SWELLED TOO MUCH +YLE FOUGHT THEM FOR THEIR PRIDE
(E WAS VALIANT ! REGULAR 3AMSON ) WOULD SAY 0UT DOWN YOUR SWORD YOUNG SOLDIER
4HERE WILL BE NO MORE lGHT TODAY !RMITAGE 3HANKS .OVEMBER
!IRPORT #HILDREN
9OU RE NOT READY TO TALK ABOUT DAD ARE YOU TO SLEEP GET JUST THE RIGHT VOLUME THE LEAVES ARE METAL IN AUTUMN THEY mY OFF AND KILL YOUNG LOVE IS THE RUSH BETWEEN CRACKS IN THE SEASON SOME OLD SLEEP OF MINE IS WRAPPED UP IN A BOOK ON THE BEDSIDE
) COLLECT SAFETY INSTRUCTION CARDS ) LIKE THE SIMPLE PICTURES IN ORANGE AND MINT OF WOMEN REMOVING THEIR HIGH HEELED SHOES AND SLIDING DOWN THE CHUTE -Y SISTER LIKES THE SICK BAGS !S THE PLANE STARTS TO CLIMB THE AIR IN THE CABIN BECOMES HEAVIER AS THE ENGINES SUCK OUT ALL THE MOISTURE FROM THE AIRPORT /UR BODIES lLL WITH WATER lRST OUR TOES THEN ANKLES THEN LEGS THEN STOMACHS -Y SISTER THROWS UP HER WATER INTO THE BAG AND THE VIOLENCE OF THE JAGGED PAPER EDGES AGAINST HER CHEEK UPSETS ME ) BEGIN TO FEEL FULL AND TIRED 4OO FULL TO EAT THE CARDBOARD PLANE FOOD WHICH IS JUST IS WELL AS IT S POISONED AND MAKES MY SISTER THROW UP MORE -Y HEAD DRIFTS FORWARD 3HE ELBOWS ME AWAKE AND ) RUB MY AIR CONDITIONED FACE BACK TO LIFE ,ATER SHE WOULD TELL ME THAT ) HAD FALLEN ASLEEP WITH MY EYES OPEN AND THAT MY IRISES HAD FADED GREY LIKE A DE ACTIVATED ROBOT
STREET STAINS ON MY PLASTIC BAG
POETS DIE IN GRIME RADIO WAVES WASTED
7HAT HAPPENED TO YOU
STATIONS HANGING UPSIDE DOWN
4HESE MOMENTS ARE BEING REMEMBERED ) SAY
A CHASM RIPPED THROUGH THE BRICK TO THE CENTRE
3HE PLACES A HEAVY HAND ON MY SHOULDER AND DISTRACTS ME FROM THE VIVID SCENE OF WHITE CLOUDS UNRAVELLING IN THE BLUE EXPANSE OUTSIDE
) TURN AND SMILE CALMLY AT HER CHUBBY LITTLE FACE AND WORRIED GLISTENING EYES ! THIN TRICKLE OF VOMIT RUNS FROM THE CORNER OF HER MOUTH
COLOUR IN THE SPEECH BUBBLES ROUND AS DUB CLOUDS
COLLECT THE DANCES 7HAT S WRONG WITH YOU ) TURN AND LOOK DESPERATELY AT HER PALE TIRED FACE AND THINLY DRAWN MOUTH ! THIN TRICKLE OF GOODBYE EVERYWHERE WATER LEAKS FROM THE CORNER OF MY EYE 9OU DON T REMEMBER DO YOU THROW MYSELF UNDER A SUNBEAM 9ES ) DO SHE SMILES ) REMEMBER EVERYTHING $ANIEL / #ONNOR "ARNABY 4IDMAN
LOW Â COST Â STUDENT Â STORAGE Â AVAILABLE Fully secure and dry CCTV monitoring Self storage Single items
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+ 456"354 4503"(&
01603 747411 Mobile 07979 318188 Unit 39 Morgan Way, Bowthorpe, Norwich
4ELLY ON THE 2OCKS $ESPERATE (OLLYWOOD (AS *AY ,ENO BEEN ,OST 0AUL #OOK INVESTIGATES
!
S THE EXPANSION OF HOME ENTER TAINMENT INTERNET AND MULTI MEDIA PLATFORMS ON YOUR MO BILE PHONE INCREASE CONTENT IS BECOMING INCREASINGLY THIN ON THE GROUND AND IN AN ATTEMPT TO NEGOTIATE A FAIRER IN COME FOR THE OR MORE MEMBERS OF THE 7RITER S 'UILD OF !MERICA 7'! A STALEMATE HAS BEEN REACHED AND A STRIKE lRMLY SET IN -OST TELEVISION AND SOME lLM PRODUCTION HAS COMPLETELY GROUND TO A HALT IN !MERICA LIKELY TO LEAVE 53 AND 5+ TEL EVISION STATIONS SCRAPPING AROUND FOR NEW MATERIAL AND REPEATS OF MANY PREVIOUSLY AIRED 46 SHOWS 4HE STRIKE COMES AFTER THE THREE YEARLY CONTRACT MEETING BETWEEN THE 7'! AND !-040 !LLIANCE OF -OTION 0ICTURE AND 4EL EVISION 0RODUCERS REACHED AN IMPASSE 4HIS RESULTED IN THE WRITERS STRIKING DEMANDING MORE REVENUE FOR THEIR WORK !S IT STANDS MOST WRITERS IN !MERICA WILL RECEIVE AROUND CENTS PER $6$ SALE AND ONLY AN INITIAL FEE FOR THEIR WORK WITHOUT RECEIVING ANYTHING FOR INlNITE FUTURE SALES AND SHOWINGS 4HE 7'! ARE DEMANDING OF DISTRIBUTORS GROSS FOR NEW MEDIA SALES AND DISTRIBUTION AND DOUBLE THE RESIDUAL RATE FOR $6$ SALES INCREASING FROM CENTS TO CENTS PER $6$ ! RECENT ADDITION TO THE PICKET LINE OF PRO TESTERS OUTSIDE 3ONY 0ICTURES IS #ASINO 2OY
ALE AND "OND WRITER 0AUL (AGGIS WHO SEES THE STRIKE AS DO MANY AS A SIGNIlCANT AND LAST CHANCE STAND TO GET FAIRER PAY FOR THEIR CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE MOST PROlTABLE TELEVI SION INDUSTRY IN THE WORLD 4HE CONSEQUENCES OF THIS STRIKE ARE FAR REACHING AND A SERIOUS CONCERN FOR EVERY MAJOR TELEVISION AND lLM COMPANY IN !MERICA 7ITHOUT A SINGLE WRITER TO PROVIDE NEW MATERIAL THE PRODUCTION OF MANY OF !MERICA S BIGGEST TELEVISION SHOWS DRAMAS AND SOME FEATURE lLMS HAVE HIT A CREATIVE WALL WITH NO RESOLVE UNTIL A SETTLEMENT IS REACHED 4HE WRITING FOR SHOWS SUCH AS $ES PERATE (OUSEWIVES ,OST 5GLY "ETTY #3) 0RISON "REAK AND RECENT SMASH HIT SCI l DRA MA (EROES HAS STOPPED COMPLETELY LEAVING THE COMPANIES LEFT ONLY WITH THE lRST FEW DRAFTS ON THEIR DESK AND MANY WITH NO END ING OR RESOLUTION TO THE CURRENT SERIES 7ORST HIT ARE THE HUGELY DEPENDENT LIVE TALK SHOWS IN !MERICA INCLUDING 4HE ,ATE 3HOW WITH $AVID ,ETTERMAN 4HE $AILY 3HOW WITH *ON 3TEWART AND 4HE 4ONIGHT 3HOW WITH *AY ,ENO ALL OF WHICH RE RUNS BEGAN AIRING ON .OVEMBER TH 4HE LAST TIME THE 7'! MADE A STAND WAS IN IN WHICH IT COST THE !MERICAN ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY AN ESTIMATED MILLION DOLLARS 4HIS CURRENT STRIKE LOOKS SET TO HAVE AN EQUALLY HUGE IM PACT WITH NO RESOLUTION PREDICTED FOR ANY
$6$ 2EVIEW
)AN 7RIGHT )T 2EALLY 3HOULDN T (APPEN TO A &OOTBALLER /UT .OW
@)AN 7RIGHT AND @$6$ DON T NORMALLY GO TO GETHER TO MEAN THAT WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO WATCH WILL BE RIPPING PRIME TIME TELEVISION "UT THIS $6$ WAS FREE SO WHAT WAS THERE TO LOSE !S IMPORTANT COURSEWORK WAS DUE IN WHAT BETTER WAY TO AVOID IT THAN TO SPEND TIME PROCRASTINATING WITH A BIT OF )AN 7RIGHT CORNINESS 7ELL NEEDLESS TO SAY IT WAS INDEED EX TREMELY CORNY AND MOST OF THE BITS WITH )AN 7RIGHT IN MADE US CRINGE SO MUCH THAT WE NOW NEED BOTOX BUT ON THE WHOLE IT WASN T BAD %VEN PEOPLE WHO DO NOT CONSIDER THEM SELFS TO BE FOOTBALL FANS MAY ACTUALLY lND IT FUNNY 4HERE WERE NO BROKEN BONES STICKING OUT OF ARMS LIKE WE HAD BEEN OPTIMISTICALLY EXPECTING BUT IT WAS HEAVING WITH FOOTBALL
ERS BEING STUPID RESULTING IN FALLING OVER IN FUNNY WAYS SPECTACULAR OWN GOALS AND PRE POSTEROUS REFEREEING (IGHLIGHTS INCLUDED )PSWICH PLAYERS A PARTICULAR HIGHLIGHT FOR .ORWICH FANS DOING A RIDICULOUS CELEBRATORY DANCE ROUTINE FOR ABOUT HALF A MINUTE ON THE SIDE OF THE PITCH WHILST THEIR GOAL HAD BEEN DISALLOWED AND PLAY CONTINUED BEHIND THEM AND 3TEVEN 'ERRARD GETTING A RASPBERRY BLOWN AT HIM BY AN EXTREMELY CLEVER AND YOUNG #HELSEA MAS COT IN THE TUNNEL JUST BEFORE A ,IVERPOOL VS #HELSEA GAME 3EVERAL FOOTBALL PUNDITS GIVE THEIR INPUT ALONG THE WAY THEIR SARCASM USU ALLY BECOMING THE CROWING MOMENT OF THESE TOTAL AND UTTER HOWLERS 3O IF YOU HAVE FAMILY MEMBERS OR FRIENDS WHO ENJOY FOOTBALL LAUGHING AT FOOTBALLERS AS WE DO THEN THIS IS DElNITELY ONE YOU MAY WANT TO CONSIDER FOR #HRISTMAS /N THE OTHER HAND IF YOU ALSO KNOW OF SOME ONE WHO WOULD REALLY LIKE BOTOX BUT DOESN T CONSIDER THEMSELVES WRINKLY ENOUGH SHOW THEM THIS AND THEY LL BE BOOKING AN APPOINT MENT TOMORROW !NTHONY 'REEN
EARLIER THAN *ANUARY 3O WHAT DOES THE STRIKE MEAN FOR "RIT ISH TELLY 7ELL IN TRUTH NOT A LOT 7E MAY SUFFER A SLIGHT SHIFTING OF SCHEDULES FOR 5 + FAVOURITES SUCH AS (EROES AND 0RISON "REAK IN THE COMING YEAR (OWEVER CONSIDERING MOST !MERICAN TELEVISION WITH THE EXCEPTION OF LIVE TALK SHOWS AIRS HERE WELL AFTER IT HAS IN THE 53 WILL WE REALLY NOTICE A DIFFERENCE /NE PRODUCT THAT COULD COME OUT OF THE STRIKE IS MORE SHOWS WRITTEN BY "RITISH TELE VISION WRITERS )T IS REPORTED THAT THE 7'! IS CALLING FOR SIMILAR SUPPORT FROM THE 7RITERS 'UILD OF 'REAT "RITAIN AS WAS SHOWN IN THE STRIKES HOWEVER THE LURE OF WELL PAID
WRITING JOBS ON ESTABLISHED !MERICAN TEL EVISION SHOWS COULD PROVE TOO TEMPTING FOR SOME !NOTHER POSSIBLE OUTCOME COULD BE A GREATER EXPORT OF "RITISH SHOWS TO THE 53 TO lLL THE VOID LEFT BY THE STRIKE 7ITH VERY LITTLE NEW MATERIAL LIKELY TO BE WRITTEN IN THE NEXT THREE MONTHS THE POSSIBILITIES FOR "RITAIN S WRITERS TO GET IN ON THE !MERICAN ACTION IS ENDLESS ALTHOUGH MOST ARE LIKELY TO SHOW THE 7'! STRONG SUPPORT 3O IN ESSENCE GET SET TO SEE RE RUN AFTER RE RUN ENDLESS &RIENDS AND 3IMPSONS REPEATS AND QUITE POSSIBLY A FEW CLASSICS AMONGST THE LISTINGS AS !MERICA PREPARES TO GO 46 COLD TURKEY OVER THE FES TIVE PERIOD
$6$ 'AMES #ORNER
!GATHA #HRISTIE S 0OIROT "ASED ON THE TELEVISION SERIES OF DETECTIVE (ERCULE 0OIROT !GATHA #HRISTIE S 0OIROT !FTER THE &UNERAL $6$ GAME IS FAIRLY SELF EXPLANA TORY ! MURDER MYSTERY GAME THAT CAN BE PLAYED WITH TWO OR MORE PEOPLE THE AIM BE ING TO BEAT YOUR OPPONENT AND BE THE lRST TO IDENTIFY THE MURDERER BY PIECING TOGETHER THE CLUES AND PIECES OF INFORMATION THROUGH OUT THE GAME 4HE GAME CONSISTS OF FOUR !CTS AND EACH PLAYER MUST DISCOVER THE MURDER ER BASED ON lLM FOOTAGE THAT IS PLAYED !S THE GAME PROGRESSES YOU CAN ALSO EARN #ASE #REDITS BY COMPLETING 0OIROT S OBSERVATION ANALYSIS AND INTUITION PUZZLES 4HE PLAYER WITH THE MOST #ASE #REDITS AT THE END OF EACH !CT GETS THE OPPORTUNITY TO PICK FROM THE SUS PECT LINE UP lRST 4HE GAME ALLOWS YOU TO WATCH SOME EX CLUSIVE NEW FOOTAGE OF $AVID 3UCHET AS 0OI ROT THOUGH ONLY THE MOST AVID FAN WOULD ENDULGE THEMSELVES IN SUCH A LUXURY !CCORD ING TO THE BLURB IT S hFAMILY FUN GUARANTEEDv WITH WHICH 4HE %VENT WHOLE HEARTEDLY DISA GREES !LTHOUGH THERE ARE SOME AMUSING SCENES FROM 0OIROT THE GAME DRAGS OUT FOR FAR TOO LONG TAKING NEARLY TWO HOURS TO WORK YOUR WAY THROUGH IT 7ITH FOUR @!CTS IN THE GAME EACH ONE FEELS LIKE AN ENTIRE GAME ON ITS OWN AND BY THE TIME YOU EVENTUALLY lND OUT WHO
THE MURDERER WAS YOU CAN T REMEMBER WHY YOU BOTHERED IN THE lRST PLACE !LTHOUGH THE GAME GIVES YOU THE OPTION TO NOT lND OUT THE IDENTITY OF THE MURDERER SO YOU CAN PLAY AGAIN AND ALSO HAS AN ADDITIONAL PUZZLES WE CANNOT IMAGINE WHY ANYONE WOULD PUT THEMSELVES THROUGH THIS MORE THAN ONCE ES PECIALLY FOR THE OVER INmATED PRICE OF a 2ACHAEL 0RICE
0RIMETIME .EVER -IND THE "UZZCOCKS 4HURSDAY PM ""# 4HIS WEEK SAW THE VERY WELCOME RETURN OF 46 FAVOURITE .EVER -IND THE "UZZCOCKS TO ""# S 4HURSDAY NIGHT COMEDY LINE UP 4HE POPULAR FORMAT REMAINS THE SAME AS GUESTS APPEAR ALONGSIDE REGULARS IN A QUIZ BASED ON POP AND ROCK MUSIC 0OSH INDIE MAN 3IMON !M STELL RETURNS WITH HIS IRREVERENT STYLE TO HOST HIS SECOND FULL SERIES AS PRESENTER !MSTELL IS JOINED ONCE AGAIN BY OLD FAVOURITES 0HIL *UPI TUS AND "ILL "AILEY WHO HEAD UP THE TEAMS 4HE SHOW WHICH STARTED IN AND IS NOW IN ITS ST SERIES KICKED OFF THIS RUN WITH A BANG 4HE GUESTS INCLUDED RAPPER ,ETHAL "IZ ZLE AND MODEL +IMBERLY 3TEWART "AILEY AND *UPITUS SHOWED THAT THEY WERE STILL MASTERS OF THE QUIZ PROVIDING THE MAJORITY OF THE LAUGHS +IMBERLY 3TEWART DAUGHTER TO 2OD 3TEWART AND STAR OF HER OWN REALITY SERIES ON
3OAP 3UDS
(OLLYOAKS
4HERE DOESN T SEEM TO BE A SINGLE HAPPY COU PLE IN #HESTER THIS WEEK WITH PEOPLE LYING AND CHEATING LEFT RIGHT AND CENTRE 4HERE S -C 1UEEN MAYHEM AS -ERCEDES AND 4ONY ARE STILL STRUGGLING TO DEAL WITH GUILT OVER THEIR ONE NIGHT STAND AFTER HE BEGINS TO GET HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH *ACQUI BACK ON TRACK &URTHER GRIEF LOOKS CERTAIN AS -ERCEDES DIS COVERS SHE S PREGNANT (OPEFUL *ACQUI THINKS THIS COULD BE HER CHANCE TO RAISE A BABY BUT -ERCEDES HAS OTHER IDEAS UNTIL 4INA MAKES A SHOCKING GENEROUS OFFER 4INA COMES CLEAN ABOUT 0ETE S HARASSMENT BUT HEARTLESS $OM THINKS SHE S OVERREACTING *AKE STARTS HIS lRST DAY ON THE BUILDING (ANNAH ARRIVES HOME SURPRISED TO lND "ETH THE CENTRE OF ATTENTION IN THE !SHWORTH HOUSE BUT AS THE FAMILY ATTEND THEIR lRST COUNSELLING SESSION HER CONlDENCE SOON STARTS TO GROW AGAIN 2HYS AND "ETH ARE STILL PLAYING WITH lRE WITH THEIR OBVIOUS CONTINUING FEELINGS FOR EACH OTHER )T CAN ONLY END IN HEARTACHE ,ORRAINE 3OUTHGATE
,IVING APPEARED TO BE !MSTELL S MAIN TARGET IN THIS EDITION OF THE SHOW (E CONSISTENTLY INJECTED SUCH LINES AS h7HAT DO THEY WANT YOU TO DO !CHIEVE SOMETHING v WHILST DISCUSSING HER ROLE IN THE PUBLIC EYE )T IS COMMON KNOWLEDGE THAT PARTICIPAT ING IN THE UNPREDICTABLE SHOW WILL MEAN THAT YOU ARE LEAVING YOURSELF OPEN FOR HEAVY SCRU TINY AS THE PROGRAMME IS RENOWNED FOR NOT SPARING THE FEELINGS OF ANY GUEST OR CELEBRITY %VEN MUSICAL INSTITUTIONS SUCH AS 0HIL #OLLINS AND %LTON *OHN HAVE BEEN SUBJECT TO VERBAL ABUSE FROM FORMER HOST -ARK ,AMARR IN THE PAST 4HIS ESSENTIAL ASPECT OF THE SHOW WAS OVERLOOKED BY PAST PANELLIST 3AMUEL 0RESTON WHEN HE APPEARED ON THE PROGRAMME EARLIER THIS YEAR !MSTELL S USUAL BANTER FELL ON DEAF
EARS WITH 0RESTON WHO DID NOT TAKE HIS COM MENTS LIGHT HEARTEDLY 4HE SINGER STORMED OUT OF RECORDING AS !MSTELL READ OUT QUOTES FROM 0RESTON S THEN WIFE #HANTELLE (OUGHTON S AUTOBIOGRAPHY "AILEY THOUGHT FAST AND MANAGED TO RESCUE THE SHOW BY GRABBING A LOOKY LIKEY 0RESTON FROM THE AUDIENCE AND DUMPING HIM IN THE VACATED SEAT 4HE SHOW CONTINUED AS USUAL AND THE DAZED AUDIENCE MEMBER WAS BILLED AS @SPECIAL GUEST IN THE CLOSING CREDITS .EVER -IND THE "UZZCOCKS HAS CAUSED MILD CONTROVERSY IN THE PAST )N $ANI &ILTH MEMBER OF THE BAND #RADLE OF &ILTH AP PEARED DRUNK ON THE PANEL AND WAS CONSE QUENTLY BANNED FROM EVER APPEARING ON THE SHOW IN THE FUTURE 3INGER !MY 7INEHOUSE ALSO STARRED WHILST SEEMINGLY VERY DRUNK 3HE
WAS SEEN TO REPEATEDLY INTERRUPT THE OTHER MEMBERS OF THE TEAMS ASKING FOR MORE DRINK SLOUCHING IN HER CHAIR AND USING EXTREMELY EXAGGERATED MOVEMENTS $ESPITE THE CONSISTENT MAYHEM CONTRO VERSY AND SEEMINGLY POINTLESS ACTIVITES .EVER -IND THE "UZZCOCKS CONTINUES TO BE A GREAT SHOW ! MUST FOR A 4HURSDAY NIGHT &RANCES 3 4AYLOR
46 #LASSICS 4HOMAS THE 4ANK %NGINE .EIGHBOURS
!NOTHER DAY ANOTHER SET OF DRAMAS AND SCAN DALS IN THE SMALL LAND OF 2AMSEY 3TREET 4HE 0ARKERS TAKE CENTRE STAGE THIS WEEK lRST WITH THE ONGOING CUSTODY BATTLE BETWEEN .ED AND +IRSTEN AND SECONDLY 2ILEY S SCANDALOUS CON FESSION WHICH SHOCKS HIS PARENTS +IRSTEN USES DIRTY TACTICS TO TRY AND WIN -ICKEY BACK BUT DURING THE BATTLE REALISES THAT IT IS .ED THAT SHE REALLY WANTS 4HE #ARMELLA /LIVER %LLE LOVE TRIANGLE GETS EVEN MORE COMPLICATED AS /LIVER DECIDES TO GET BACK WITH %LLE JUST AFTER #ARMELLA CONFESSES TO %LLE THAT SHE IS STILL IN LOVE WITH /LIVER 4OADIE IS ALSO SUFFERING THIS WEEK WITH THE VARIOUS TRI ALS OF 2AMSEY 3TREET S LATEST MEDICAL DRAMA AND DECIDES DRASTICALLY TO SET UP HIS OWN LAW lRM /N A LIGHTER NOTE 3USAN SEEMINGLY UNAF FECTED BY THE ENTERTAINING ANTICS OF HER NEIGH BOURS DECIDES SHE HAS A NEW PASSION FOR GOLF !NOTHER WEEK OF AMUSEMENT OUTRAGE AND DANGEROUS SECRETS IN OUR FAVOURITE STREET IN !US TRALIA 2EBECCA 2UTT
4OP THIS 7EEK 3OUTH 0ARK 3ATURDAY PM 0ARAMOUNT )F POSSIBLE THIS OUTLANDISH COMEDY IS EVEN FUNNIER THAN BEFORE DElNITELY NOT FOR THE EASILY OFFENDED
2AMSEY S +ITCHEN .IGHTMARES 4UESDAY PM # 'ORDON 2AMSEY SWEARS HIS WAY THROUGH ANOTHER HOUR OF HUMILIATING SOME INEPT RESTURANTEUR
$RAGON S $EN -ONDAY PM ""# "USINESS MEETS ENTERTAINMENT IN THIS OFTEN HILARIOUS SHOW
1) &RIDAY PM ""# )NTELLIGENT HUMOUR FROM 3TEPHEN &RIDAY AND THE GANG
-Y .AME IS %ARL &RIDAY PM # %ARL AND THE COMIC GENIUS 2ANDY ARE STILL MEANDERING THEIR WAY TO lNDING KARMIC BAL ANCE IN 2EDNECK CENTRAL
5PON SEEING THE TITLE OF THIS ISSUE S 46 #LAS SICS PROGRAMME WE BET A FEW OF YOU LET OUT A GIGGLE 'RANTED THERE IS SOMETHING COMI CAL ABOUT A BIG BLUE TRAIN WITH A FACE ON THE FRONT OF IT BUT TRY TELLING THAT TO THE KIDS WHO LOVE HIM !DMIT IT YOU ONCE LIKED HIM TOO RIGHT "ASED ON THE BOOKS BY 7ILBERT 6ERE !W DRY 4HOMAS lRST APPEARED IN /CTOBER ON )46 4HE SHOW FOLLOWED THE EXPLOITS OF 4HOMAS AND HIS TANK ENGINE BUDDIES 3ET ON THE IMAGINARY ISLAND OF 3ODOR 4HOMAS EMBARKED ON A VARIETY OF ADVENTURES FROM HELPING HIS FELLOW ENGINES WHEN THEY WERE IN TROUBLE TO MAKING SURE THE LOCAL CHILDREN GOT THEIR ICE CREAM DELIVERY ON TIME 4HE EARLY EP ISODES WERE EVEN NARRATED BY A CERTAIN FORMER @"EATLE HERE S LOOKING AT YOU 2INGO 3UCH WAS HIS APPEAL THAT lVE YEARS AFTER HIS "RITISH TELEVISION DEBUT 4HOMAS CHUGGED
ACROSS THE POND TO !MERICA WHERE HE WAS SHOWN ON THE 0"3 TELEVISION STATION 4HE WORLD WAS SOON TO FOLLOW AS 4HOMAS MADE HIS WAY TO THE TELEVISIONS OF #ANADA *APAN AND 'ERMANY 3O FAR HE HAS APPEARED IN OVER COUNTRIES ! FEATURE lLM WAS INEVITABLE AND THIS CAME IN WHEN @4HOMAS AND THE -AGIC 2AILROAD WAS RELEASED !MAZINGLY 4HOMAS IS STILL GOING AND IS CURRENTLY IN HIS TH SEASON ENTERTAINING A WHOLE NEW GENRATION WITH THE WONDERS OF TALKING TRAINS #HILDREN ALL OVER THE WORLD STILL THINK OF HIM AS A LOVABLE LOCOMOTIVE ,ASTLY WHO COULD FORGET THE THEME TUNE )T WILL STICK IN YOUR HEAD FOR DAYS #LASSIC STUFF INDEED :ULKImE (USSAIN
(EARD IT ON THE 'RAPEVINE 'OOD MORN TO YOU ALL AND WELCOME TO SAD TIMES IN THE WORLD OF TELEVISION 4HIS TRAGIC NEWS HAS BEEN COVERED IN THIS ISSUE S FEATURE BUT THE 7'! STRIKE IS STILL THE WORST THING TO HIT 46 SINCE $AVINA -C#ALL S GIANT MOUTH AND THEREFORE IS WORTH A MEN TION 4HE BAD NEWS CONTIN UES WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT 5GLY "ETTY IS MAKING A DESPER ATE ATTEMPT TO HALT SLIDING RAT INGS BY INTRODUCING CELEBRITY GUEST SPOTS 9OU KNOW IT S A DEATH SENTENCE WHEN YOU HAVE TO BRING IN 6ICTORIA "ECKHAM AND ,INDSAY ,O HAN "AD TIMES INDEED
,INKED WITH THE 7'! STRIKES &AMILY 'UY CREATOR 3ETH -AC&ARLANE HAS CALLED &OX PLANS TO AIR UNlNISHED EPISODES A hCOLOSSAL DICK MOVEv 'OTTA LOVE THAT GUY AND HATE ANY PIG HEADED ORGANISATION OWNED BY -URDOCH (ERE S LOOKING AT YOU 3UN AND $AILY -AIL /N A MORE HILARIOUS NOTE 46 @HARD MAN 2OSS +EMP WAS lLMING A NEW SHOW IN !F GHANISTAN WITH THE 2OYAL !NGLIAN 2EGIMENT WHEN HE hWET HIMSELFv AFTER A BRUSH WITH SOME 4ALIBAN GUNMEN (E WAS ALSO lLMED BY TROOPS HAVING A CRAP WHICH IS NOW ON 9OU4UBE #LASSY !LSO AVOID )46 THIS WEEK MORE THAN USUAL AS ) M A #ELEBRITY RETURNS !NOTHER BUNCH OF NOBODIES DOING PISS ALL IN A JUNGLE STUDIO IN A DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO FURTHER THEIR PATHETIC CAREERS *AMES "ILLINGS
5%! !LUMNI
!RTHUR 3MITH 0ROFESSION #OMEDIAN !TTENDED 5%! $EGREE #OMPARATIVE ,ITERATURE !RTHUR 3MITH REAL NAME "RIAN IS A COMEDIAN WHO IS BEST KNOWN FOR HIS WORK ON COMEDY RA DIO ON THE ""# SHOW 'RUMPY /LD -EN AND AS A GUEST ON VARIOUS PANEL SHOWS "ORN IN 3OUTH ,ONDON IN HE CAME TO 5%! IN TO STUDY #OMPARATIVE ,ITERATURE )N HIS LAST YEAR HERE HE RAN FOR 0RESIDENT OF THE 3TUDENT 5NION USING AN INTERESTING h$ON T VOTE FOR MEv CAMPAIGN STRATEGY 5NFORTUNATELY HE LOST OUT BY ONE PLACE COMING SECOND OUT OF NINE CANDIDATES AND INSTEAD WENT ON TO HIT THE 5+ ALTERNATIVE COMEDY CIRCUIT 3INCE LEAVING 5%! HE HAS PRESENTED A NUMBER OF RADIO SHOWS MOST NOTABLY %XCESS "AGGAGE FOR ""# 2ADIO AND 4HE 3MITH ,ECTURES ON 2ADIO (E HAS ALSO PENNED FOUR STAGE PLAYS INCLUDING !N %VENING WITH 'ARY ,INEKER WHICH WON AN /LIVIER !WARD AND WAS MADE INTO A l LM FOR TELEVISION )N HE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH PANCREATITIS AN ILLNESS THAT NEARLY KILLED HIM !LTHOUGH HE
EVENTUALLY RECOVERED HE HAD TO BECOME A TEETO TALLER AND FOLLOWING A FURTHER DEVELOPMENT OF DIABETES HE ALSO GAVE UP SMOKING 4HESE EXPERI ENCES LED HIM TO WRITE !RTHUR 3MITH S ,AST (ANGO ENCES LED HIM TO WRITE VER A COMEDY MONOLOGUE VER 3MITH WAS OFFERED THE ,IFETIME !CHIEVEMENT !WARD BY THE 0ERRIER !WARDS IN BUT TURNED IT DOWN BECAUSE hCOMEDIANS DISLIKE THE 0ERRIER !WARDS AND THE PUBLIC AREN T INTERESTED "ASI CALLY THEY WANTED TO TELL ME ) WAS OLD AND COOL WELL ) KNOW THAT ALREADY v &IONA "ILLINGS
5NI "ANDS
4HE 3COUNDRELS /UR UNI BAND THIS ISSUE IS 4HE 3COUNDRELS WHO ARE JUST BEGINNING TO MAKE THEIR NAME IN UN SIGNED MUSIC 7ITH %MIL !LLARD ON VOCALS 0HIL 3EAMAN ON KEYBOARDS AND GUITAR !LEX !LLEN ON LEAD GUITAR 4OM -ORAN ON DRUMS AND $AVE 2OBERTSON ON BASS THE BAND WAS FORMED IN LATE !T l RST JUST 0HIL AND $AVE WERE PLAYING TOGETHER IN A hJOKE BANDv WHICH HAD NO SERIOUS AGENDA 3OON ENOUGH THINGS BEGAN TO ESCALATE AND !LEX JOINED FOLLOWED SWIFTLY BY 4OM AND THE MOST RECENT MEMBER %MIL 4HE MUSIC OF 4HE 3COUNDRELS IS JUST BEGIN NING TO TAKE SHAPE (AVING PREVIOUSLY PLAYED MOSTLY FOR THEIR OWN ENJOYMENT 0HIL REPORTS THAT THERE IS NOW hA GOAL AT THE END OF THE RAINBOWv 7ITH MOST MEMBERS IN THEIR l NAL YEAR AT 5%! THE BAND HAS DECIDED THAT NOW IS AS GOOD A TIME AS ANY TO GET MORE SERIOUS ABOUT THEIR MUSICAL FU TURE 7ITH AN %0 IN PRODUCTION A BID FOR A RECORD DEAL IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER 2ECENT SONGS OF THE BAND HAVE INCLUDED 4HE "ALLAD OF $IRTY *OE %SPIONAGE AND /VER THE (ILL 3UCH HITS HAVE BEEN PERFORMED AROUND .ORWICH INCLUDING HERE AT THE 5%! AT LAST YEAR S "LUE "AR
@(EARING !ID CHARITY CONCERT 4HEY VE ALSO BEEN FEATURED ON ,IVEWIRE MULTIPLE TIMES !LL MEMBERS HAVE HAD EXPERIENCE BEFORE THE FORMATION OF THE BAND AND ALL HAD DIFFERING STYLES SO THE END RESULT HAS BEEN AN AMALGAMA TION OF THEM ALL 0HIL 3EAMAN HAS DESCRIBED THEIR GENERAL GENRE TO BE hFUNKY BLUES WITH SOME JAZZ ELEMENTSv $UE TO PRESSURE FROM THIRD YEAR WORK UNFOR TUNATELY NO GIGS ARE CURRENTLY LINED UP BUT IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO HEAR SOME OF THEIR MUSIC VISIT THE BAND WEBSITE AT WWW THE SCOUNDRELS CO UK AND KEEP YOUR EARS OPEN FOR THE UPCOMING %0 *AKE -AXWELL 7ATTS
&ACEBOOK 'ROUP OF THE &ORTNIGHT 'RADUATE IN THE
#ATHEDRAL NOT #ONGREGATION (ALL 4HE GROUP ADVOCATES HOLDING 5%! S GRADUA TION CEREMONY IN .ORWICH #ATHEDRAL RATHER THAN #ONGREGATION (ALL 4HE GROUP ONLY BE GAN A WEEK AGO BUT ALREADY HAS MORE THAN MEMBERS 4HIS ISSUE OF THE GRADUATION CEREMONY HAS BEEN CONTROVERSIAL AT 5%! FOR SOME TIME 4HERE WERE COMPLAINTS LAST YEAR IN THIS VERY PAPER AS WELL AS ON THE INTERNET THAT a WAS TOO MUCH FOR A GRADUATION BALL TICKET 4HEY CLAIMED THAT PREVIOUS GRADUATION BALLS HAD BEEN ESSENTIALLY ,#2S WITH NIBBLES AND THE TICKET PRICES WERE EXORBITANT .OT TO MEN TION THE ANTICLIMAX OF HAVING A GRADUATION IN A PLACE WHERE MOST PEOPLE SPENT THEIR 4UESDAY NIGHTS 4HIS GROUP S MAIN COMPLAINT IS THAT IN THE ALL TIME LIST OF INSPIRING VENUES TO GRADUATE CONGREGATION HALL DOES NOT RANK HIGHLY 4HE SUGGESTION IS THAT THE CATHEDRAL WOULD BE A MUCH MORE SUITABLE LOCATION TO GIVE THE DAY A TRULY SPECIAL FEELING 4HE GROUP ALSO CLAIMS THAT AS THE 5NIVERSITY OF +ENT AND #ITY #OLLEGE MANAGE TO HAVE THEIR GRADUATION CEREMONY IN A CATHEDRAL IT SHOULD BE LOGISTICALLY AND MON ETARILY POSSIBLE FOR THE 5%! TO AS WELL 3OME OF THE GROUP HAVE COMMENTED THAT THEY WOULD BE CONCERNED ABOUT HOLDING THEIR GRADUATION CEREMONY IN A PLACE OF RELIGIOUS WORSHIP /THERS IN THE GROUP HAVE POINTED OUT
'ROENING S 'REATS
%VERYBODY HAS SEEN 4HE 3IMPSONS "UT HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE SEEN ITS CO CREATION &UTURAMA 7E BRING THEM BOTH FROM THE MIND OF -ATT 'ROENING TO THE PAGES OF 4HE %VENT AS *AMES "ILL INGS CONSIDERS 4HE 3IMPSONS AND &IONA "ILLINGS INTRODUCES &UTURAMA
4HE 3IMPSONS
THAT ALTHOUGH THE BUILDING IS A PLACE OF WOR SHIP IT IS ALSO A PLACE OF CULTURAL AND ARCHITEC TURAL SIGNIl CANCE AND THE GRADUATION CEREMONY WOULD NOT BE A RELIGIOUS OCCASION 7E WOULD SIMPLY HOLD OUR GRADUATION IN A PLACE OF UNDE NIABLE BEAUTY MAKING IT TRULY SPECIAL 4HE GROUP ALSO CLAIMS THAT THERE ARE OTHER OPTIONS OTHER THAN THE CATHEDRAL A MARQUEE BY THE LAKE FOR EXAMPLE BUT ITS MAIN POINT IS THAT CONGREGATION HALL IS NOT REALLY THE MOST EXCITING PLACE TO HOLD A GRADUATION CEREMONY !NDY *ONES
%VER POPULAR EVER PRESENT 4HE 3IMPSONS HAS BEEN A MAINSTAY OF POPULAR CULTURE IN THE 7ESTERN (EMI SPHERE FOR THE LAST YEARS )T HAS BEEN THE FUNNIEST SHOW ON TELEVISION BUT IS IT STILL AS GOOD AS IT ONCE WAS ENTERING ITS TH SEASON 4HE 3IMPSONS IS IN ESSENCE A SOFT SATIRICAL PARODY OF WHAT IS UNDERSTOOD TO BE @MIDDLE !MERICA )T IS BASED ON A TYPICAL !MERICAN FAMILY IN A STAND ARD SMALL TOWN AND TAKES EVERY EF FORT TO REVERSE PEOPLE S STEREOTYPICAL PERCEPTIONS 4HE SET UP IS FUNDAMEN TALLY IN A SITCOM STYLE YET BEING AN ANIMATION THE SCOPE FOR OUT LANDISH SITUA TIONS IS BIGGER
7HERE ARE THEY NOW !LFONSO 2IBEIRO !LFONSO 2IBEIRO IS BEST KNOWN FOR HIS ROLE AS 7ILL 3MITH S GEEKY COUSIN #ARLTON "ANKS IN THE HIT S 46 SHOW 4HE &RESH 0RINCE OF "EL !IR WHICH RAN FOR SEASONS BETWEEN AND 4HE SHOW TOLD THE STORY OF 7ILL 3MITH PLAYED BY HIMSELF AFTER HE MOVED FROM 7EST 0HILADELPHIA TO "EL !IR TO ESCAPE hA COUPLE OF GUYS WHO WERE UP TO NO GOODv 0REDICTABLY THE STREETWISE &RESH 0RINCE CLASHED SOMEWHAT WITH HIS NEWFOUND UPPER CLASS FAMILY AND PARTICULARLY WITH THE SPOILT BUT LOVEABLE #ARLTON "EFORE STARTING ON THE &RESH 0RINCE IN 2IBEIRO PLAYED THE LEAD ROLE OF 7ILLIE IN THE "ROADWAY HIT AND 4ONY WINNER 4AP $ANCING +ID AT THE AGE OF (OW EVER 2IBEIRO FEELS HIS REAL LIFE DANCE CAREER HAS SUFFERED DUE TO THE TYPECASTING HE EXPERIENCED AFTER THE SHOW BECAUSE OF HIS FAMOUS h#ART
THAN OTHER SHOWS &OR INSTANCE (OM ER 3IMPSON A MAN WITH NO AMBITION INTELLIGENCE GRACE CHARM OR GUILE HAS BEEN INTO SPACE MET TWO PRESIDENTS MANAGED A COUNTRY SINGER AND OWNED THE $ALLAS #OWBOYS 9ET NOTHING IS TOO EXTRAVAGANT AS THE VIEWER WILL AC CEPT ANY SITUATION THE WRITERS CREATE (OMER AND HIS CRAZY FAMILY NEVER AGE YET THEY ALWAYS REMEMBER PREVI OUS EXPERIENCES AND SO HAVE DONE MORE THAN A YEAR S WORTH OF STUFF IN DAYS (OWEVER THIS IS CARTOON WORLD SO THINGS DON T HAVE TO MAKE SENSE 9ET IS IT POSSIBLE THAT 4HE 3IMPSONS ARE RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS !NY OF YOU WHO HAVE SEEN THE LATEST SERIES OF THE SHOW MAY AGREE THAT THE JOKES ARE CLUNKY THE SET UPS ARE SLOW AND CHARACTER DEVELOP MENT SEEMS TO HAVE RUN OUT OF STEAM RELYING INSTEAD ON ZANY ANTICS 4HAT BEING SAID IT IS 4HE 3IMPSONS COMBINED WITH ITS OFFSPRING &UTURAMA WHICH HAS SET SUCH A HIGH STANDARD (ENCE ANY COMPARISON HAS TO LIVE UP TO THESE HEADY LEVELS A DIFl CULT TASK TO BE SURE 7E VE ALL SEEN THE
NEW 3IMPSONS l LM WHICH WAS REm EC TIVE OF THE RECENT SERIES )N SOME PARTS GUT WRENCHINGLY HILARIOUS OTHERS MILDLY AMUSING AND IN SEVERAL DIS TINCTLY AVERAGE (OWEVER DISTINCTLY AVERAGE FOR 4HE 3IMPSONS WOULD BE OUTSTANDING FOR AN ABOMINATION SUCH AS -Y &AMILY AND VERY GOOD EVEN FOR QUALITY SHOWS LIKE +ING OF 1UEENS (EREIN LIES THE PROBLEM WITH CRITICIS ING THIS MOST REVERED PROGRAMME )T FEELS LIKE SACRILEGE (AVING GROWN UP WITH 4HE 3IMPSONS MANY OF IT S PHRAS ES ARE IN OUR VOCABULARIES LIKE h$ OHv AND h$ON T HAVE A COW MAN v )T ALSO PIONEERED THE COMMON DISMISSIVE TERM h-EHv AND 'ROUNDSKEEPER 7ILLIE S FAMOUS DESCRIPTIVE PHRASE hCHEESE EATING SURRENDER MONKEYSv IN REFERENCE TO THE &RENCH 4HE 3IMPSONS HAS UNDOUBTEDLY INm UENCED LANGUAGE CULTURE AND ACHIEVED THE STATUS OF INm UENCING OTHER TELEVISION PROGRAMMES ITSELF )T PIONEERED DISPENSING WITH A LAUGH TRACK AND RELYING ON SIGHT GAGS AND SOPHISTICATED DIALOGUE TO CREATE THEIR LAUGHS WHICH WORKED TO GREAT EFFECT 4HE SHOW ALSO CHANGED THE PUBLIC PERCEPTION THAT ANIMATIONS ARE ONLY FOR CHILDREN OPENING THE DOOR TO OTH ER EQUALLY FUNNY SHOWS SUCH AS &AMILY
'UY !MERICAN $AD AND 3OUTH 0ARK )N DEED 3OUTH 0ARK PAID HOMAGE TO 4HE 3IMPSONS IN THE EPSIODE h4HE 3IMPSONS ALREADY DID IT v 4HE 3IMPSONS IS NOW NOT JUST A TELEVISION SHOW IT S A FRANCHISE 4HE NEW l LM HAS ADDED TO THE FULL ARRAY OF $6$S BOARD GAMES COMPUTER GAMES CLOTHING AND MERCHANDISE WHICH ALREADY EXISTED !ROUND THIS TIME OF YEAR YOU CAN T GO INTO A SHOP WITHOUT THERE BEING A @NORMAL GIFT LIKE BATH PRODUCTS OR EVEN A CHESS SET WITHOUT 4HE 3IMPSONS LOGO PLASTERED ALL OVER IT 4HIS HAS CREATED SOMEWHAT OF A CLAUSTROPHOBIC ATMOSPHERE WHEN BUYING PRESENTS AND IT IS A PERVERSE
CREDIT TO THE SHOW THAT IT REMAINS POPULAR REGARDLESS OF BEING OVER EXPOSED TO SUCH AN EXTENT $ESPITE THE RECENT CRITICISM OF THE SHOW AND FALLING VIEWING l GURES DOWN IN THE 53 ALONE THE SHOW S CREATOR -ATT 'ROENING SEES NO IMMEDIATE END IN SIGHT CLAIMING hCREATIVELY THERE S NO REASON TO QUIT v -ANY DISAGREE SAYING THAT THE SHOW SHOULD END NOW JUST AFTER A SUCCESSFUL MOVIE AND BEFORE THE SHOW STAGNATES 7HATEVER YOUR OPINION THERE S NO DOUBTING THAT 4HE 3IMPSONS WAS AND STILL IS ON OF THE FUNNIEST SHOWS ON TELEVISION AND LOVE IT OR HATE IT IS PART OF ALL OUR LIVES
TURAMA IN THE MID S EVENTUALLY PITCHING THE IDEA TO 4HE 3IMPSONS BACKERS &OX AT THE END OF THE DECADE 7ITH INITIAL FUNDING FOR A EPISODE RUN 'ROENING AND CO DEVELOPER $AV ID 8 #OHEN BEGAN WORK ON THE l RST SERIES WHICH DEBUTED IN &OR THOSE OF YOU UNINITIATED IN THE WAYS OF &UTURAMA HERE S A QUICK GUIDE TO THE BACKGROUND OF THE SHOW )N THE l RST EPISODE WE MEET 0HILIP * &RY FROM THEN ON GENERALLY REFERRED TO AS JUST @&RY A PIZZA BOY IN .EW 9ORK WHO ACCIDENTALLY FALLS INTO A CRYOGEN IC CHAMBER AT MIDNIGHT ON ST *ANU ARY (E IS FROZEN FOR YEARS EVENTUALLY WAKING UP ON .EW 9EAR S %VE TO l ND HIS WHOLE LIFE AND EVERYONE HE KNEW HAS DISAPPEARED (E MEETS HIS CLOSEST LIVING RELATIVE 0ROFESSOR (UBERT &ARNSWORTH AND BY THE END OF THE l RST EPISODE HAS GOT A JOB AT &ARNSWORTH S INTERGALACTIC DE LIVERY BUSINESS 0LANET %XPRESS 3UPPORTING CHARACTERS INCLUDE ,EELA THE ONE EYED CAPTAIN FOR THE 0LANET %XPRESS DELIVERY SHIP "ENDER A RUDE CRUDE AND LEWD ROBOT WHO WAS ORIGINALLY PROGRAMMED TO BEND GIRD ERS AND $R :OIDBERG THE INEPT ALIEN
DOCTOR OF THE BUSINESS 3ET IN WHAT IS NOW KNOWN AS .EW .EW 9ORK EACH EPISODE OF THE SHOW SEES THE CHARAC TERS EMBARK ON VARIOUS ADVENTURES AND SCHEMES TRAVELLING THE UNIVERSE AND MEETING VARIOUS ALIEN RACES -ANY CELEBRITIES AND POLITICIANS FEATURE IN &UTURAMA OFTEN AS hHEADS IN JARSv A PROCESS INVENTED SO FAMOUS PEOPLE S HEADS CAN LIVE ON BEYOND THEIR NATURAL YEARS &AMOUS HEADS FEATURED INCLUDE ,EONARD .IMOY 'EORGE 7ASHINGTON AND 2ICHARD .IX ON AS THE 0RESIDENT OF %ARTH !L 'ORE IS ALSO A REOCCURRING GUEST STAR DUE TO HIS DAUGHTER +RISTIN S ROLE AS A WRITER AND STORY EDITOR ON THE SHOW AND FREQUENTLY APPEARS TALKING ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT &UTURAMA RAN FROM TO WITH ITS l RST SEASON RATINGS HIGHER THAN THOSE OF FELLOW CARTOON SE RIES +ING OF THE (ILL &AMILY 'UY AND 3OUTH 0ARK !LTHOUGH THESE RATINGS WERE HIGH ALTHOUGH ADMITTEDLY NOT AS HIGH AS THOSE OF 4HE 3IMPSONS l RST SEASON THE &OX NETWORK CONSTANTLY CHANGED THE DAY AND TIME THE SERIES WAS SHOWN MOVING IT FROM 3UNDAYS TO 4UESDAYS AND THEN BACK AGAIN $E
SPITE THREE %MMY WINS AND NUMER OUS AWARD NOMINATIONS &UTURAMA S PRODUCTION WAS CANCELLED IN AT THE END OF THE FORTH SEASON 4HE LAST OF THE $6$ BOXSETS ALONG WITH A &U TURAMA GAME FOR THE 8BOX AND 03 WERE RELEASED AT THE END OF THAT YEAR AND IT LOOKED LIKED &UTURAMA WOULD BE NO MORE (OWEVER FAN S HOPES FOR THE SERIES TO BE RECOMMISSIONED WERE RAISED WHEN AFTER SEEING THE SUCCESS FUL RETURN OF &AMILY 'UY -ATT 'ROEN ING WENT TO &OX TO SUGGEST A REVIVAL OF &UTURAMA &OX DIDN T WANT TO FUND AN OTHER SERIES SO 'ROENING WENT TO THE 5 3 CHANNEL #OMEDY #ENTRAL WHO AGREED TO PRODUCE ANOTHER SERIES 4HEREFORE FOUR NEW STRAIGHT TO $6$ FEATURE LENGTH EPISODES HAVE BEEN MADE THE l RST OF WHICH "ENDER S "IG 3CORE AIRED IN THE 5 3 THIS MONTH )T CARRIES ON FROM WHERE SEASON FOUR LEFT OFF AND ONCE THE FOUR l LMS HAVE BEEN RELEASED 'ROENING SAYS THEY WILL BE CUT UP AND AIRED AS INDIVIDUAL EPI SODES TO MAKE UP SEASON l VE 7HILE IT COULD BE ARGUED THAT 4HE 3IMPSONS COMEDY VALUE IS FALTERING AS IT REACHES ITS NINETEENTH SERIES &U
TURAMA S OUTLOOK IS LOOKING FAR MORE PROMISING !S LONG AS IT RETAINS THE IN TELLIGENT AND OCCASIONALLY IRREVERENT HUMOUR WE HAVE COME TO LOVE THERE IS NO REASON WHY &UTURAMA SO OFTEN DISMISSED AS 4HE 3IMPSONS WEAKER SIBLING CAN T LAST WELL INTO THE ST CENTURY
&UTURAMA 4O MANY PEOPLE -ATT 'ROENING S GREATEST CREATION IS 4HE 3IMPSONS (OWEVER WHAT CAME OUT OF HIS HEAD NEXT IS SURELY A POTENTIAL CONTENDER FOR THAT CROWN !LTHOUGH IT ONLY AIRED FOR FOUR YEARS &UTURAMA BECAME A CULT FAVOURITE SO MUCH SO THAT NEXT MONTH WILL SEE THE RETURN OF THE CAR TOON TO OUR SCREENS 'ROENING BEGAN FORMULATING &U
LON $ANCEv AND HAS BEEN INVOLVED MORE IN THE ACTING AND DIRECTING BUSINESS EVER SINCE 2IBEIRO IS STILL RELATIVELY WELL KNOWN IN !MERICA HAVING WON BOTH #ELEBRITY 4OYOTA 'RAND 0RIX IN AND AND #ELEBRITY $UETS IN 3EPTEMBER (E ALSO HOSTED 9OUR "IG "REAK IN WHICH IS SIMILAR TO THE 5+ S 3TARS )N 4HEIR %YES -ORE RECENTLY 2IBEIRO MADE A BRIEF AP PEARANCE IN &ERGIE S 'LAMOROUS VIDEO (E ALSO VOICED A REPO GUY IN &AMILY 'UY %PISODE 3EASON ! &ISH OUT OF 7ATER IN 0ETER ASKS THE GUY IF HE WAS IN 3ILVER 3POONS 3ILVER 3POONS WAS 2IBEIRO S l RST BIG BREAK ON A 4 6 SERIES AND !LFONSO REPLIES h9ES ) WAS v $ESPITE RUMOURS OF DEATH FOLLOWING A HEAD SPIN WHILST l LMING A 0EPSI ADVERT 2IBEI RO IS STILL ALIVE AND WELL AND HAS ONE DAUGHTER 3IENNA WHO IS NOW YEARS OLD #HLOE 7ARREN
#HILDREN /F 4HE 2AVE .EW RAVE 3ICK OF IT YET -EET THE NEXT EVOLUTIONARY STEP IN S RAVE ELECTRO REVIV AL (ADOUKEN ,IKE IT OR NOT YOU LL BE HEARING A LOT FROM THESE GUYS IN THE NEXT YEAR -USIC EDITOR 'REG 3ULLIVAN MEETS (ADOUKEN FRONTMAN *AMES 3MITH TO lND OUT WHY
)
T S AN AUTUMNAL 7EDNES DAY AFTERNOON AND WE@RE FACE TO FACE WITH THE FRONT MAN OF ELECTRO GRIME GA RAGE BAND OF THE MOMENT (ADOUKEN AHEAD OF THEIR HEADLINE SLOT LATE THAT EVENING AT 5%! /NLY A MINUTE AFTER SITTING DOWN WITH 3MITH WE RE INTERRUPT ED BY ONE OF PRODUCTION TEAM h$O YOU KNOW 3PINAL 4AP MATE "ECAUSE YOU HAD A BIT OF A BIT OF @HELLO #LEVELAND MOMENT THERE 9OU KNOW WHERE YOU WORK YOUR WAY TO THE STAGE BUT YOU DON@T QUITE GET THEREv 4HE STORY !FTER BEING TOLD TO MEET IN THE ELUSIVE @PRODUCTION OFlCE WHERE THAT ACTUALLY IS 4HE %VENT WILL NEVER KNOW WE lND OURSELVES TRAIPSING AIMLESSLY IN AND AROUND THE BACK STAGE AREA FOR AROUND MINUTES WHERE WE ENCOUNTER A SHOWER ROOM ENOUGH SAID A WEALTH OF YOUNG SUPPORT BANDS AND THE EN TRANCE TO THE MAIN STAGE SERIOUS ANTI CLIMAX BEFORE EVENTUALLY BUMPING INTO (ADOUKEN FRONT MAN *AMES 3MITH xTHE ONE PER SON IN THE BAND WHO WE WEREN@T SUPPOSED TO BE INTERVIEWING 4HIS WAS NEVER GOING TO GO SMOOTHLY (YPE BANDS ARE EASY COME EASY GO THESE DAYS AND (ADOUKEN ARE NO EXCEPTION TO THAT RULE 4HE POST +LAXON GLOW STICK HEAVY EX CITEMENT THAT SURROUNDED ONE OF THE DElNING SINGLES OF 4HAT "OY 4HAT 'IRL BORDERED ON SHEER LUNACY 7HEREVER YOU VENTURED FOR
YOUR MUSIC CLUBS -46 POST PM 2ADIO .-% CRIES OF (OXTON HEROES AND INDIE CINDY S WHERE ALL THAT COULD BE HEARD !FTER SUC CESSFUL SECOND SINGLE ,IQUID ,IVES AND AN INFAMOUS FEATURE IN .-% THAT CITED (ADOUKEN AS THE BAND WHOSE MUSIC BROUGHT ABOUT WAR IN THE .-% OFlCE INTEREST IN THE mUORESCENT ADOLESCENTS REACHED FEVER PITCH !ND SINCE THEN 7ELL ALTHOUGH THE HYPE HAS REMAINED STEADY (ADOUKEN HAVE STILL GOT A
LONG WAY TO GO BEFORE THEY REACH THE GIDDY HEIGHTS OF +LAXONS OR #33 7HETHER OR NOT THEY REACH THAT PEDESTAL IS SOMETHING ELSE ENTIRE LY .EVERTHELESS IT IS EVIDENT THAT (ADOUKEN HAVE ALWAYS MORE OR LESS SOUNDED LIKE THE NEXT EVOLU TIONARY STEP IN S RAVE ELECTRO REVIVAL AND FOR THAT THEY HAVE THEIR PEERS TO THANKxh$O WE OWE +LAXONS OR #33 ANYTHING ) DON T THINK WE OWE #33 MUCH ) THINK +LAXONS AND THE WHOLE @PARTY VIBE THINGxYOU VE GOT TO GIVE A GOOD NOD TO THEM REALLY 4HEY ALMOST FORMED A PARTITION WITH THE FORMER INDIE SO YEAHx WE DElNITELY OWE THEM SOMETHING THERE v )N PERSON 3MITH IS SHY RUB BING HIS HANDS THROUGH HIS HAIR AND LOOKING DOWN WHEN HE SPEAKS 7HETHER THIS IS DUE TO ONE TOO MANY THE NIGHT BEFORE IS NOT CLEAR BUT AT THE MOMENT HE SEEMS A WORLD AWAY FROM THE EXUBERANCE THAT GOES HAND IN HAND WITH HIS BANDS TRADEMARK SOUND 7HEN ASKED ABOUT HIS TOP TWENTY PLAC ING IN THE NOW INFAMOUS .-% COOL LIST HE MERELY BRUSHES PAST THE SUBJECT WITH A SHRUG h9EAH ) VE SEEN ITxv HE CHUCKLES TO HIMSELF AND REFUSES TO SPEAK MORE OF THE TOPIC &OR A BAND NAMED AFTER A 3TREET
&IGHTER MOVE (ADOUKEN S CON CEPTION IS PRETTY RUN OF THE MILL h(OW DID WE FORM *UST LIKE ANY OTHER BAND REALLY YOU GET TOGETH ER YOU JUST WANT TO MAKE MUSIC WE DIDN T THINK MUCH OF IT REALLY v (OWEVER FOR THE @LUCKY FEW LIKE (ADOUKEN THINGS CAN SNOWBALL QUICKER THAN ANTICIPATEDx h3UD DENLY IT ALL JUST COMES TOGETHER
h$O WE TRY AND DISTANCE OURSELVES FROM THE NEW RAVE THING 7E USED TO v YOU EXCITE A FEW ! 2 MEN AND GIGS AND THEN YOU GET SIGNEDv 7HY SO QUICK 7ELL IN EARLY (ADOUKEN WERE AS @NEW AND AS SHINY AS THEY GO 7HO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT A GRIME RAVE CROSSOVER WOULD HAVE WORKED AS WELL AS IT DID WITH DEBUT SINGLE 4HAT "OY 4HAT 'IRL A SONG THAT ARGUABLY DElNED THE LAUGHABLE @GRINDIE TAG THAT EVERYONE S FA VOURITE MUSIC WEEKLY COINED EAR LIER THIS YEAR h)T S HARD TO DISTIN GUISH WHERE WE GOT OUR TRADEMARK
SOUND FROM 7E WERE LISTENING TO A LOT OF 7HILEY 0RODIGY "UT IT S JUST AS MUCH ANY INDIE AS WELL 4HE 3TROKES 4HE 7HITE 3TRIPESxv 7E CARRY ON THE INEVITABLE PATH TO THAT OTHER TAG THE ONES THAT S BEEN NIGH ON IMPOSSIBLE TO ESCAPE UNLESS YOU VE BEEN LIV ING ON THE MOON FOR THE PAST YEAR h$O WE TRY AND DISTANCE OURSELVES FROM THE WHOLE NEW RAVE THING 7E USED TO BUT NOW WE JUST SEE IT AS A GOOD THING ALL THE BANDS HAVE BECOME SO SUCCESSFUL OUT OF IT !S FOR THE BIGGER PICTURExIN DIE AT THE MOMENT IS POTENTIALLY IN A REALLY HEALTHY STATE BUT ALSO A REALLY STAGNATE STATE 9OU VE GOT TWO KINDS OF BANDS mYING THE mAG PEOPLE LIKE +LAXONS AND &OALS PUSHING IT FORWARD TRYING TO BE DIFFERENT THEN YOU VE GOT BANDS LIKE #OURTEENER S AGAIN THROWING BACK TO THE TIRED ,IBERTINES ERA ) MEAN HOW MANY BANDS CAN GET AWAY WITH DOING THAT (OW LONG IS IT GOING TO GO ON FOR v 4HESE WORDS DON T COME WITH BITTERNESS IN FACT 3MITH JUST SEEMS AGITATED WITH CONTEMPORARY GUITAR BANDS hIT ALL JUST SEEMS STALE TO ME v 4HEIR NEW SINGLE ,EAP OF FAITH SIGNALS A HUGE DEPARTURE FROM THEIR EARLIER WORK 3MITH TREATS THE SUBJECT AS FAMILIAR TERRITORY HINTING THAT HE MIGHT BE GETTING TIRED OF BEING ASKED WHEN HIS NEXT SCENESTER BASH IS GOING TO HIT THE AIRWAVES h) WOULDN T HAVE CHOSEN IT AS A SINGLE ) DON T THINK IT S OUR STRONGEST SONG ) JUST WANTED TO PUT SOMETHING OUT THAT WAS DIF FERENT SOMETHING THAT WASN T NEW RAVE OR GRINDIE )T THREW A LOT OF JOURNALISTS THEY MAY HAVE HATED IT BUT AT LEAST THEY COULDN T SAY IT WASN T ANOTHER GRINDIE SCENESTER BASH v !LTHOUGH THE HYPE HAS SETTLED THEIR DEBUT WILL INEVITABLY MUSTER UP THE SIMILAR TYPE OF EX CITEMENT THAT SURROUNDED THEIR EARLY RECORDINGS h) THINK THE STUFF WE RE WRITING IS THE BEST MOST MA TURE STUFF WE VE DONE "UT AT THE SAME TIME YOU CAN NEVER TELL WHAT THE FEEDBACKS GOING TO BE LIKE )T S JUST THE RECORD WE WANT TO MAKE v 7HETHER YOU RE A FAN OF THE mOURO OR YOU FEEL MORE INCLINED TO BEAT THEM WITH A GLOWSTICKS WE DOUBT THIS LL BE THE LAST THING YOU HEAR FROM (ADOUKEN FRONT MAN *AMES 3MITH
3INGLE 2EVIEWS 6AMPIRE 7EEKEND .UMBERS #OLOURS
)T S OFlCIAL IT S HIP TO BE SQUARE 7ELL IT WOULD BE IF 6AMPIRE 7EEKEND GOT THEIR WAY 4HIS .EW 9ORK BAND HAVE GOT EVERYBODY TALKING AND COULD TURN OUT TO BE ONE OF THE UNLIKELIEST HIT BANDS OF THE YEAR 4HEY DRESS LIKE YOUR DAD COTTON /XFORD SHIRTS SLACKS AND DECK SHOES 4HEY REFERENCE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD S MUSICIANS LIKE 0ETER 'ABRIEL IN THEIR SONGS 4HEY NAMED THEMSELVES AFTER A POORLY MADE STUDENT lLM ONE OF THE BAND MEMBERS DIRECTED ABOUT THE UNDEAD COMING TO LIFE AND MORE IMPORTANTLY THEY SOUND LIKE NOTHING ELSE OUT THERE AT THE
MOMENT 4HEIR SOUND IS A FUSION OF !FRICAN RHYTHMS WITH 7ESTERN POP SENSIBILITIES 4HINK ,ADY 3MITH "LACK -AMBAZO JAMMING WITH THE ,IBERTINES 4HAT SOUNDS RIDICULOUS RIGHT "UT PERHAPS THAT S WHY IT WORKS SO WELL 6AMPIRE 7EEKEND S QUIRKY POP IS REFRESHING AND UPLIFTING 4HIS IS WHY THEY VE BECOME SO BIG AMONGST THE BLOGGERS AND ARE BEING TIPPED FOR BIG BIG THINGS BY MOST OF THE MUSIC PRESS 3O BUTTON YOUR SHIRTS TO THE TOP PUT ON YOUR BIG FRAMED GLASSES AND GET OUT YOUR WOOLLY JUMPERS GEEK CHIC IS COOL AGAIN
AN INSTANT HIT THOUGH SCANDALOUSLY THE SINGLE RECEIVED NO COVERAGE IN #ONCRETE 4HANKFULLY REDEMPTION ARRIVED AS THE #$ APPEARED IN THE OFlCE FROM AN UNKNOWN SAUCE AND ITS PRESENCE DEMANDED A REVIEW
-ARCUS *ONES
(ADOUKEN ,EAP OF &AITH
7ILL (OLLOWAY
,EVI 2OOTS 2EGGAE 2EGGAE 3AUCE 3ONG ,EVI 2OOTS ACHIEVED CULT STATUS BACK IN &EBRUARY OF THIS YEAR WHEN HE APPEARED ON $RAGONS $EN AND PERSUADED TWO OF THE MILLIONAIRES TO INVEST IN HIS 2EGGAE 2EGGAE 3AUCE WITH THE HELP OF SOME REGGAE MUSIC 4HE SONG AS WELL AS THE SAUCE WAS
ENJOYMENT OF LIFE WON THE $RAGONS OVER AND THEY HAVE THE CAPACITY TO SULK THROUGH ANYTHING SO HOW COULD WE NOT CRUMBLE IN THE FACE OF SIMILAR VIBRANCY 0LAY IT WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND YOUR DAY WILL BE INFUSED WITH A WARMTH THAT COULD ONLY BE REPLICATED BY CONSUMING A WHOLE JAR OF 2EGGAE 2EGGAE 3AUCE ITSELF
2OOTS CONDIMENT CLAIMS TO hPUT MUSIC IN YOUR FOOD AND WHILE THAT ASSERTION IS A DISCUSSION FOR THE FOOD PAGES HIS MUSIC IS CERTAINLY FULL OF A ZING AND ZEST THAT TANTALISES THE TONGUE TO SING ALONG 4HE SONG IS COMPLETE WITH CATCHY FEMALE BACKING VOCALS STEEL DRUMS AND TRUMPETS PLUS 2OOTS OWN OFTEN INCOMPREHENSIBLE MUTTERINGS !LL OF THIS MAKES IT BOB ALONG IN AN ENJOYABLY ADDICTIVE MANNER WHICH THAT OTHER BASTION OF MAINSTREAM REGGAE 3HAGGY WOULD BE PROUD OF 2OOTS MUSIC PASSION AND
7HO ARE THESE INDIE ROCKERS AND WHAT HAVE THEY DONE WITH (ADOUKEN 7HERE IS THE RAPPING THE SPOKEN WITTY ASIDES AND GAMEBOY ESQUE FUTURISTIC BEATS )T WOULD SEEM THEY HAVE DECIDED TO hDO THE CLICHÏv AND WATER THEMSELVES DOWN TO GAIN WIDER APPEAL THE RESULTS ARE BLAND %ARLY TRACKS RECORDED FOR lRST ALBUM .OT (ERE 4O 0LEASE 9OU WERE SO ORIGINAL THEY SPAWNED SOME CRITICS TO CREATE A NEW GENRE TITLE @GRINDIE DUE TO THE GRIME GUITAR AND ELECTRO ELEMENTS BEING SPLICED TOGETHER 4HE GRIME HAS BEEN SERIOUSLY TONED
DOWN ON THIS TRACK AND IS MORE A WHIMPING OUT THAN A ,EAP /F &AITH /KAY SO THE SONG SHOWS A CERTAIN SOCIAL CONSCIENCE AND IT ALL SEEMS MORE POLISHED BUT THIS IS AT THE EXPENSE OF BEATS YOU CAN DANCE TO AND LYRICS YOU CAN RELATE TO EVEN LAUGH AT ) WANT TO HEAR THEM TELLING STORIES ABOUT @GANGSTERS WHO WORK IN !3$! ZOMBIE INDIE GIRLS AND THE REALITY OF ,IQUID ,IVES -AYBE IT S A GROWER BUT THE INITIAL REACTION TO THIS TUNE IS THAT IT S A REGRESSIVE INSTANTLY FORGETTABLE INDIE CHART TRACK 3TICK TO THE @GRINDIE PLEASE (ADOUKEN
2OB -ORBIN
!LBUM 2EVIEWS ,ES 3AVY &AV
,ETS 3TAY &RIENDS 4HIS ALBUM REVIEW SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN THE PAPER WEEKS AGO BUT SOMEHOW SOMEWAY IT SHUFmED PAST TOO QUIETLY 1UITE HOW THAT HAPPENED IS BEYOND THE %VENT TEAM !GAINST ALL RULES WE HAVE DECIDED TO PUBLISH THIS ON THE BASIS OF THIS RECORD BEING ONE OF THE BEST AND MOST SIGNIlCANT ALBUMS OF 'REG 3ULLIVAN
,ES 3AVY &AV ARE CRAZY MAD AS HATTERS 4IM (ARRINGTON PROBABLY DESIGNS HATS HE SEEMS TO DESIGN EVERYTHING ELSE FOR HIS $EADLY 3QUIRE LABEL NO SERIOUSLY EVERYTHING FROM OVEN MITTS TO BABY CLOTHES 7HEN HE@S NOT DOING THAT HE@S THE CHARISMATIC AMPLY FRAMED FRONT MAN OF "ROOKLYN BASED ART PUNKERS ,ES 3AVY &AV /K SO YOU MAY HAVE NEVER
HEARD OF ,ES 3AVY &AV AND YOU MAY BE ASKING WHY YOU SHOULD CARE ABOUT THEIR MUSIC 4HE ANSWER IS SIMPLE ,ES 3AVY &AV ARE ONE OF THE FEW BANDS AROUND TODAY WHO ARE WILLING TO STICK THEIR NECKS OUT AND TRY SOMETHING GENUINELY DIFFERENT 4HEY DO THE BAND AS A HOBBY WHILST HOLDING DOWN STEADY JOBS THEY WON T SIGN FOR A MAJOR LABEL AND IF THEY WANT TO WEAR TIGHT RED HOT PANTS ON STAGE THEN THEY LL DARN WELL WEAR THEM 4HE BAND FREQUENTLY DO AND A QUICK BROWSE OF 9OU4UBE WILL ILLUSTRATE JUST HOW INSANELY ABSURD THE BAND S LIVE SHOWS REALLY ARE ,ET S 3TAY &RIENDS IS ,ES 3AVY &AV S THIRD FULL LENGTH ALBUM AND IS THEIR MOST ACCOMPLISHED RECORD TO DATE %ARLIER RELEASES BY THE BAND LIKE THEIR LAST ALBUM 'O &ORTH WERE SOMETIMES HANDICAPPED BY THE BAND S OWN UNRELENTING DESIRE TO EXPERIMENT WHICH AT TIMES MADE PARTS OF THEIR RECORDS UNLISTENABLE 7ITH THIS NEW ALBUM THE BAND SEEM TO HAVE STRUCK MORE OF A BALANCE BETWEEN ACCESSIBILITY OF THE MUSIC AND EXPERIMENTATION AS A RESULT THE RECORD IS A REAL CONTENDER FOR ALBUM OF THE YEAR 4HE STANDOUT TRACK ON THE ALBUM IS 0ATTY 3MITH A TRACK SO INSANELY CATCHY THAT YOU LL BE TOE TAPPING ALONG TO IT BEFORE YOU VE EVEN HEARD THE lRST CHORUS IT S A GLORIOUS MISH MASH OF DISCO PUNK RHYTHMS AND HAMMY FALSETTO VOCALS 4HE ALBUM IS FULL OF TRACKS THAT ARE UNLIKE ANYTHING YOU VE HEARD BEFORE OPENING TRACK 0OTS 0ANS IS AN ANTHEMIC CALL TO ARMS AGAINST THE MEDIOCRITY OF MODERN MUSIC AND DISMISSES THE SPECULATION THAT ,ES 3AVY &AV WERE SPLITTING UP h4HIS BAND S A BEATING HEART AND IT S NOWHERE NEAR ITS ENDv ANNOUNCES (ARRINGTON TRIUMPHANTLY IN THE LAST LINE OF THE TRACK 2AGING IN THE 0LAGUE !GE IS BRILLIANTLY
UNSUBTLE UPFRONT ROCK WHICH SHOWCASES (ARRINGTON S TALENT FOR WITTY TURNS OF PHRASE PARTICULARLY LINES LIKE h"EING THE KING WAS PRETTY COOL ) D HAVE TO SAY THAT RULING RULED v 7HAT MAKES THIS ALBUM GREAT IS ALSO THE VARIETY OF MATERIAL ON THE ALBUM 4HIS IS ILLUSTRATED WELL BY THE AMBIENCE NATURE OF RECENT SINGLE 7HAT 7OULD 7OLVES $O WHICH SHOWS A DIFFERENT SIDE TO THE BAND 7ITH ,ET S 3TAY &RIENDS ,ES 3AVY &AV HAVE SHAKEN UP THE KALEIDOSCOPE OF MODERN ROCK MUSIC AND SHOWN WHAT CAN BE ACCOMPLISHED WITH A LITTLE BIT OF IMAGINATION A BUNCH OF TALENT AND A HELL OF A LOT OF BALLS 7ILL (OLLOWAY
+ID 2OCK
,ETHAL "IZZLE
#ARBON 3ILICON
2OCK @N 2OLL *ESUS
"ACK 4O "IZZNEZZ
4HE ,AST 0OST
,ESS THAN A YEAR AFTER 0AMELA !NDERSON lLED FOR DIVORCE FROM HIM AND THEIR LENGTHY THREE MONTHS OF WEDDED BLISS "OB @+ID 2OCK 2ICHIE RETURNS TO THE MUSIC SCENE WITH A SURPRISINGLY GOOD COMEBACK !MEN HAS GOSPEL CHOIR BACKING AND SIMPLISTIC CHEERY ACCOMPANIMENT BEGINNING IN A DISTASTEFULLY PREACHY WAY )T IS NAUSEATING ENOUGH TO PLAY AS A lTTING BACKGROUND TRACK FOR A SEGMENT ON #HILDREN IN .EED BUT WITH LYRICS LIKE @) DON T KNOW WHAT S WORSE NATU RAL DISASTERS OR THESE WOLVES IN SHEEP CLOTHING PASTORS THE SONG IS A PASSIONATE CONDEMNATION OF LARGE SOCIETAL ISSUES /THER SONGS FOCUS ON 2OCK S OWN SELF REDEMPTION AS IN 2OLL /N FOR EXAMPLE WHERE HE SINGS h) M LOOKING BACK ON WHERE ) VE ROAMEDv 4HE SUBTLE VOCAL HARMONY AND VOCAL CENTRIC RESONANCES OF THIS NUMBER FOUND IN THE ALBUM S OTHER REmECTIVE BALLADS $ON T 4ELL -E 9OU ,OVE -E AND THE BEAUTIFULLY CRISP AND MELODIC "LUE *EANS AND A 2OSARY DI VERGE STARKLY FROM THE UNAPOLOGETICALLY EXPLICIT 3O (OTT AND 3UGAR THAT COMMAND THE LISTENER S ATTENTION WITH THEIR DIRTY ROARING ELECTRIC GUITAR RIFFS 2OCK N 2OLL *ESUS PROVES THAT +ID 2OCK HAS NEVER FALLEN SHORT OF BEING THE @ILLEST MOTHER
EVEN AFTER BEING REJECTED BY 0AM 4WANGING COUNTRY DITTY (ALF 9OUR !GE IS AN UNSUBTLE YET HILARIOUS OPPORTUNITY FOR 2OCK TO HAVE A JIBE AT !NDERSON h) FOUND SOMEONE NEWx SHE S HALF YOUR AGE AND TWICE AS HOTv
3OMETIMES IT IS DIFlCULT TO TAKE SOME RAP NAMES SERI OUSLY 2OLL $EEP $IZZY 2ASCAL AND ,ETHAL "IZZLE ALL INCLUDED -ONIKER ASIDE HOWEVER -R "IZZLE HAS BEEN MAKING A NAME FOR HIMSELF RECENTLY BY PARTAK ING IN COLLABORATIONS WITH SEVERAL ROCK BANDS INCLUD ING 9OURCODENAMEIS -ILO AND 'ALLOWS ALMOST MAKING HIM AN ACCEPTABLE NAME TO DROP IN INDIE CIRCLES !LMOST /N "ACK 4O "IZZNEZZ THE CRED IBLE ACTS TO SAMPLE HAVE ARRIVED EN MASSE WITH 4HE 2UTS 4HE #LASH AND "ABYSHAMBLES ALL MAKING AN APPEARANCE 5NSURPRISINGLY THOSE ARE THE BEST THREE TRACKS ON THE AL BUM "ABYLON S "URNING 4HE 'HETTO IS AN ENJOYABLE RANT AT ,ONDON AND PARLIAMENT 0OLICE /N -Y "ACK IS AN AMUSING APPARENTLY TRUE LIFE STORY OF ,ETHAL S CRIME DAYS AND WHILST "OY WHICH FEATURES "ABYSHAMBLES IS IN SOME WAYS A MISSED OPPORTUNITY IT IS STILL A STANDOUT TRACK WELL WORTH HEARING )N MANY WAYS ,ETHAL "IZZLE HAS BEGAN TO TAKE UP A ROLE AS THE "RITISH +ANYE 7EST SHUNNING MUCH OF THE STERE OTYPICAL RAP WORLD IN ORDER TO STAND OUT FROM THE CROWD AND INDEED AT TIMES HIS LYRICS CAN BE AS GRATING AS +ANYE S ARE (OWEVER HE SUCCEEDS IN MAKING AN ALBUM BETTER THAN MOST OF THE ,ONDON GRIME PACK IS CAPABLE OF AN ENTERTAIN ING COLLECTION OF SONGS WHICH AREN T TOO HEAVY GOING AND CLOSER 2EmECTION WOULDN T BE OUT OF PLACE ON 4HE #OLLEGE $ROPOUT $IZZY WHO
2OOTS MUSIC 4HE GENRES WHERE ALL MUSICAL FORMS STEM FROM THE TRADITIONAL MUSIC OF A PARTICULAR NATION THE PURE FORMS IF YOU WILL #OUNTRY "LUES &OLK 2EGGAE !ND NOW 0UNK 4HIRTY YEARS ON FROM THE ORIGINAL EXPLOSION 0UNK HAS BECOME EMBODIED INTO THE 5+S MUSICAL SPIRIT ITS BASIC CHORD STRUCTURE FORMING THE BASIS FOR MANY OF TODAY S MAINSTREAM BANDS INCLUDING 4HE 0IGEON $ETECTIVES AND 4HE !RCTIC -ONKEYS &OR A BLUEPRINT TO PROVE THIS LOOK NO FURTHER THAN #ARBON 3ILICONS RECENT OFFERING 4HE ,AST 0OST 7HO 7ELL THE LEAD SINGER AND GUITARIST IS NO OTHER THAN -ICK *ONES FROM THE HOLIEST OF CLASSIC 0UNK BANDS 4HE #LASH AND WHO WAS LAST SEEN PRODUCING 4HE ,IBERTINES WHILST 'ENERATION 8 S 4ONY *AMES ALSO HELPS OUT 4HE ALBUM ITSELF IS A STRIPPED DOWN BACK TO BASICS POLITICAL JOURNEY WHICH SOUNDS FOR THE MOST PART LIKE WELL 4HE #LASH 4RACKS SUCH AS OPENER 4HE .EWS AND 4HE 7HOLE 4RUTH ARE INSTANTLY CATCHY ANTHEMS TO BE SHOUTED FROM THE ROOFTOPS WHILST ACCOMPLISHED STANDOUT #AESARS 0ALACE SHOWCASES THE BAND S GUITAR PLAYING ABILITIES #LOSER 7HY $O -EN &IGHT )S THE ICING ON THE CAKE A REmECTION ON THE WORLD TODAY )T S ONE OF THOSE RECORDS THAT AFTER SEVERAL PLAYS WILL ONLY BE REMOVED FROM YOUR #$ PLAYER KICKING AND SCREAMING READY TO KICK START A REVOLUTION !N ESSENTIAL FOR 0UNK FANS AND ONE TO PUT ON THE LIST FOR EVERYBODY ELSE 2OOTS MUSIC HAS NEVER SOUNDED COOLER OR MORE CRUCIAL
#AROLINE $UNMORE
-ICHAEL "LUNT
-ICHAEL "LUNT
,IVE 2EVIEWS
#ALVIN (ARRIS
7EDNESDAY TH .OVEMBER 5%! #ALVIN (ARRIS PLASTERED THE ,#2 WITH HIS DISCO PRESENCE LAST WEEK AND SOUGHT TO CREATE ONE MASSIVE PARTY &AMOUS FOR HIS POP PRINCE STYLE HE SPORTED AN ALMOST mORESCENT BLUE AND YELLOW SHELL SUIT JACKET OF WHICH HE KEPT INSISTING THE SLEEVES WERE TOO SHORT BUT IT DIDN T SEEM TO AFFECT HIS PERFORMANCE TOO MUCH AND TRUE TO HIS WORD HE IMPRESSED @ALL THE GIRLS WITH HIS BLACK SKINNY lT JEANS AND 3COTTISH CHARM 2ENOWNED FOR HIS LONG INTROS IT INITIALLY SEEMED LIKE (ARRIS WAS NEVER GOING TO ENTER
THE STAGE THE BAND MILKED IT AS LONG AS HUMANELY POSSIBLE WITH THE PULSATING SYNTH SOUNDS OF @$ISCO (EAT (OWEVER WHEN HE DID EVENTUALLY MAKE HIS ENTRANCE THE ENERGY THAT SET ALIGHT THE ,#2 CROWD WAS SO SPECTACULAR YOU HAD TO PINCH YOURSELF TO WAKE YOU UP FROM YOUR )BIZA LIKE TRANCE &OR THE lRST TIME IN ,#2 HISTORY IT WAS AS IF THE $ISCO "ALL SERVED A PURPOSE )T WAS DEBATABLE WHETHER HIS ALBUM WOULD TRANSFER SUCCESSFULLY TO THE LIVE ARENA BUT THERE S NO DOUBT (ARRIS MANAGED
TO PULL IT OFF ! GREAT EXAMPLE OF THIS WASHIS FALSETTO VOICE IN -ERRYMAKING !T -Y 0LACE IT PERFECTLY ECHOED THROUGH THE ROOM SENDING SHIVERS DOWN EACH AN EVERY SPINEx THIS IS OBVIOUSLY A GUY THAT KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT HE S DOING AND CLEARLY SO DOES HIS BAND 4HE BAND WERE NO DOUBT SAVOURING THE MUSIC AS MUCH AS THE AUDIENCE WERE AS THEIR FRANTIC SIMULTANEOUS NODDING ILLUSTRATED !T TIMES YOU ACTUALLY FELT LIKE YOU WERE IN YOUR OWN FRONT ROOM WATCHING THE #HURCHILL ADVERT ON REPEAT (ARRIS S EXCITEMENT SHONE THROUGH FOR THE WHOLE GIG AND WITH HIS MINI MIXING DESK AT HIS SIDE (ARRIS GLIMMERING SMILE ECHOED THAT OF A CHILD WITH A NEW TOY 4HESE WERE THE MANNERISMS OF A MAN IN HIS ELEMENT #ALVIN (ARRIS CLEARLY DIDN T WANT TO BE ANY WHERE ELSE BUT THE ,#2 %VERYONE WAS OF COURSE IN ANTICIPATION FOR !CCEPTABLE )N 4HE S BUT WHEN IT EVENTUALLY CAME IT WAS MERELY AN ANTI CLIMAX )NSTEAD IT WAS 'IRLS THAT HAD THE CROWD ON STRINGS AND 4HIS )S 4HE )NDUSTRY THAT HAD THEM DANCING LIKE NOTHING ELSE 4HE SENSE OF FUN THAT SURROUNDED THIS EVENT MADE THE WHOLE NIGHT REMARKABLY INFECTIOUS AND HIS PANTO STYLE ENGAGEMENT MADE IT IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO JOIN IN )T WAS
ALMOST DISAPPOINTING TO STEP BACK OUTSIDE INTO THE BITING WINDS AND MURKY LEAVES OF AUTUMN WHILE IN THE BACK OF YOUR MIND YOU KNEW (ARRIS WAS MOST LIKELY READYING THE NEON GLOW STICKS FOR HIS NEXT AWE INSPIRING SHOW (OLLY 7ATTE
%NTER 3HIKARI
4HE 2AVEONETTES
-ONDAY TH .OVEMBER 5%!
7EDNESDAY TH .OVEMBER .!#
h2EMEMBER REMEMBER THE TH OF .OVEMBER v SAYS 4REVOR THE 7OLF AS THE %NTER 3HIKARI SET IS ABOUT TO BEGIN (IS SPEECH MARKED TWO SIGNIlCANT EVENTS ONE IT WAS "ONlRE .IGHT AND TWO %NTER 3HIKARI HAD DECIDED TO GRACE 5%! ONCE AGAIN BRINGING WITH THEM AMAZING SOUNDS AND THE HARDCORE RAVE MADNESS THAT THEY THEMSELVES CREATED 4HE SUPPORT PROVIDED FOR THIS EVENING WERE HARDCORE BAND 9OUR $EMISE AND
ALTERNATIVE ROCK ACT (UNDRED 2EASONS 9OUR $EMISE PROVIDED EVERYONE WITH AN EXCUSE TO JUMP INTO EACH OTHER WHILE (UNDRED 2EASONS USED SOME OLD FAVOURITES TO GET THE CROWD SINGING AND DANCING IN A WAY THAT DIDN T INVOLVE A CONCUSSION OR TWO 4O SAY THAT %NTER 3HIKARI DIDN T DISAPPOINT IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT TO SAY THAT THEY WERE ON AWESOME FORM WOULD BE A MORE ACCURATE WAY OF DESCRIBING THE SHOW THEY PUT ON FOR THE ,#2 MASSES ON "ONlRE .IGHT )T S ALWAYS GOOD TO SEE A BAND INTERACTING WITH THE CROWD DURING THEIR SET BUT IT S EVEN BETTER WHEN THEY HAND OUT FREE GIFTS AND MAKE THE CROWD LAUGH WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT THEY DID 4HE MOST BIZARRE OF THESE WERE CONDOMS THEY HANDED OUT NAMED *ONNY 3NIPER ALL OF WHICH BORE THE SLOGAN h)F YOU PLAY THE lELD PLEASE WEAR A SHIELDv .O IT S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT THE MUSIC WITH 3HIKARI 4HE BAND ENDED THE SHOW WITH SAYING THAT THIS WAS THERE SECOND TO LAST SHOW ON THE TOUR WHICH LEADS US TO WONDER WHETHER THEY ARE PREPARING TO TOUR THE STATES IN SUPPORT OF THEIR DEBUT ALBUM S RELEASE OR TO HEAD BACK TO THE STUDIO SO SOON AFTER THE SUCCESS OF THEIR lRST ALBUM 4AKE 4O 4HE 3KIES 7HAT IS EVIDENT HOWEVER IT THAT ON THIS KIND OF FORM THAT +ERRANG AWARD FOR "EST ,IVE !CT WAS MORE THAN DESERVED 3COTT #HARMAN
!FTER SOME TECHNICAL PROBLEMS WITH THEIR MICROPHONES 4HE 2AVEONETTES ARE lNALLY READY TO START THEIR SET !S THEY TAKE TO THE STAGE IT IS EVIDENT THAT THEY ARE AN AWESOMELY COOL BAND 4HEY LOOK AMAZING 3UNE 2OSE 7AGNER SOMEHOW MANAGES TO PULL OFF LOOKING LIKE 3CREECH FROM 3AVED "Y 4HE "ELL AND 3HARIN &OO IS A BLONDE VERSION OF 5MA 4HURMAN IN 0ULP &ICTION WHILST THE DRUMMER HAS THE LOOK AND THE GENERAL PERSONA OF SOMEONE ON THE CATWALK .OT ONLY ARE 4HE 2AVEONETTES INCREDIBLY
COOL AND INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE THEY ALSO MAKE DAMN GOOD MUSIC 4HEIR RETRO SURF PUNK SOUND HAS A DISTINCTLY MODERN FEEL TO IT DUE TO THE UNDERLYING CONNOTATIONS OF SEX THEIR NEW ALBUM IS AFTER ALL CALLED ,UST ,UST ,UST 7ITH ONLY TWO GUITARS AND JUST TWO DRUMS YOU MAY WONDER HOW CAN THEY MAKE SUCH GOOD MUSIC 7ELL THEIR MINIMALIST AND SIMPLE APPROACH IS WHAT MAKES THEM SO BRILLIANT BOTH IN THEIR MUSIC AND IN THEIR LOOK 4HE WAY THAT 7AGNER AND &OO EFFORTLESSLY HARMONISE WITH EACH OTHER ON MOST TRACKS SIMPLY ADDS TO IT 4HEY STARTED OFF THE SET WITH A COUPLE OF NEW SONGS OFF THE LATEST ALBUM BEFORE GOING INTO SOME CLASSICS 4HEIR MINIMALISM DOES NOT MEAN THEY JUST DO SLOW CRAPPY ACOUSTIC NUMBERS /N THE CONTRARY MANY OF THE SONGS ARE MORE LIKE WALLS OF SOUND SUCH IS THE INmUENCE OF NOTORIOUS WEIRDO 0HIL 3PECTOR 4HE HIGHLIGHTS OF THE EVENING THOUGH ARE UNDOUBTEDLY ,OVE )N ! 4RASHCAN AND !TTACK /F 4HE 'HOST 2IDERS WHICH BOTH HAVE THEIR TRADEMARK JANGLING GUITARS OVER A POUNDING NON STOP DRUMBEAT AND A COVER OF 3TEROLABS &RENCH $ISCO WHICH ACTUALLY SURPASSES THE ORIGINAL 4HE 2AVEONETTES ARE CRIMINALLY UNDER RATED AND UNKNOWN !FTER THIS PERFORMANCE IT IS BAFmING WHY THIS COULD BE .ICK 2EADING
-AIN &EATURE
)F YOU WERE A FAN OF $EATH 0ROOF THEN YOU SHOULD DElNITELY GO AND CHECK THIS OUT 7ITH A TAGLINE OF h&ULLY ,OADEDv 2OBERT 2ODRIGU EZ S 0LANET 4ERROR OFFERS BLOOD GORE VIOLENCE AND GUNS n JUST WHAT IS NEEDED FROM A GOOD ZOMBIE mICK !S THE SECOND INSTALLMENT OF THE ILL FATED 'RINDHOUSE PROJECT
0LANET 4ERROR PAYS HOMAGE TO THE LURID SHOCKERS OF THE EARLY S CAPTURING THEIR SLEAZY VIBE AND AC TUALLY UPPING THE ANTE GLEEFULLY SHOVING SCENE AFTER SCENE OF GRUE SOME GORE IN YOUR FACE !FTER AN EXPERIMENTAL BIO NERVE GAS IS ACCIDENTALLY RELEASED AT A RE MOTE 5 3 MILITARY BASE AN ASSORT
MENT OF CHARACTERS ARE LEFT lGHTING FOR THEIR LIVES AS THOSE EXPOSED TO THE GAS TURN INTO mESH EATING MU TATING ZOMBIES ,ED BY #HERRY $AR LING 2OSE -C'OWAN A ONE LEGGED GO GO DANCER WITH A MACHINE GUN ATTACHED INSTEAD OF A LEG A VALIANT GROUP OF MISMATCHED SOULS HAVE TO lGHT TOGETHER IN ORDER TO SURVIVE
$IR 2OBERT 2ODRIGUEZ 2ELEASED
THE TOWN S ONSLAUGHT -C'OWAN CARRIES THE lLM FROM THE lRST MO MENT OWNING THE OPENING SHOT AS SHE POLE DANCES AROUND THE CREDIT TITLES 9OU GET A DISTINCT SENSE THAT THE STAR OF 46 SERIES #HARMED ISN T GOING TO LET ONE SECOND OF CINEMA SCREEN TIME PASS BY WITHOUT SEIZ ING HER MOMENT
4HE TRANSFORMATION FROM WEEPY STRIPPER AND WANNABE STAND UP COMEDIAN INTO A VERY PLIABLE KILLER WITH A LETHAL APPENDAGE IS THRILL ING 4HE IMAGE OF -C'OWAN SPRAY ING BULLETS FROM HER THIGH STUMP WILL FOREVER BE 0LANET 4ERROR S LAST ING TRIUMPH WITH HER SEX APPEAL BEING A CLOSE SECONDARY .OT A lLM FOR THOSE WITH A WEAK DISPOSITION FOR BLOOD AND VIOLENCE 2ODRIGUEZ FAMOUS FOR HIS PREVIOUS lLM 3IN #ITY ADDS A HUMOROUS AND SILLY STANCE ON THE HORROR ZOMBIE GENRE (OW EVER WHAT IS UNIQUE ABOUT BOTH 'RINDHOUSE lLMS IS THE FACT THEY HAVE TRIED TO SIMULATE THE ND 3TREET mEAPIT EXPERIENCE AND PUR POSEFULLY ADDED EFFECTS BY TRASH ING THE PRINTS 4HE lLM STOCK CHANGES DRASTICALLY FROM SCENE TO SCENE THE SCREEN IS PLAGUED WITH CIGARETTE BURNS AND SCRATCHES AND A @MISSING REEL AT AN INOPPORTUNE TIME GETS A GROANY LAUGH 4AKING INTO ACCOUNT THE FAKE TRAILERS AND ADS ATTACHED TO THIS PRO DUCTION OVERALL 0LANET 4ERROR WORKS TO DELIVER PAINSTAKINGLY GRAINY GRAPHIC EFFECTS WITH THE SENSE OF FUN LEAVING YOU WITH AN ON THE WHOLE ENJOYABLE EXPERIENCE !NDY 3TAFFORD
"ATMAN -ASK OF THE 0HANTASM )T S FAIR TO SAY THAT "ATMAN THANKS TO THE INCOMING 4HE $ARK +NIGHT AND S "ATMAN "EGINS IS GO ING THROUGH SOMETHING OF A RENAIS SANCE "ECAUSE OF THIS IT S EASY TO FORGET THAT THE FRANCHISE WAS JUST AS BIG IF NOT BIGGER IN THE EARLY NINE TIES SAW THE AR RIVAL OF 4IM "URTON S TERRIlC "ATMAN 2E TURNS WHILST A YEAR LATER CAME THE ARRIVAL OF AN ANIMATED "AT
MAN PICTURE n -ASK OF THE 0HANTASM 4HE LATTER HAS THE STRANGE DISTINC TION OF BEING HUGELY ACCLAIMED AND AT THE SAME TIME ALMOST UNKNOWN TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC 0HANTASM WAS A SPIN OFF FROM THE MUCH CELEBRATED "ATMAN 4HE !NIMATED 3ERIES A SHOW SO GOOD IT BEAT 4HE 3IMPSONS TO AN %MMY AWARD )T BOASTS A SMART ORIGINAL STORY INTERWOVEN WITH mASHBACKS TO THE START OF "ATMAN S CRIME lGHT ING CAREER $ON T LET THE FACT THAT THIS IS A CARTOON PUT YOU OFF n YES THE lLM IS ANIMATED BUT IT S SO MUCH MORE THAN JUST ANOTHER KIDS MOVIE "ATMAN IS A HERO WITH MORE SHADES OF GREY THAN A (" PEN CIL AND AS SUCH 0HAN TASM IS DARK MATURE STUFF 0EOPLE KILL AND GET KILLED 4HE BRILLIANT SCRIPT MULLS OVER BIG THEMES LIKE LOVE AND GRIEF WHILST AT THE SAME
TIME DELIVERING A CRACKING STORY 4HE ANIMATION SIMPLY FREES UP THE STO RYTELLING LENDING THE lLM AN EPIC SCOPE THAT FEW OTHER "ATMAN MOV IES HAVE ENJOYED 4HIS ISN T AIMED AT CHILDREN IT S AIMED AT AN INTELLIGENT VIEWER REGARDLESS OF THEIR AGE "UT WHY HAS NO ONE HEARD OF THIS IF IT S SO GOOD 0HANTASM WAS ORIGI NALLY SET TO SEE RELEASE AS A STRAIGHT TO VIDEO MOVIE BUT 7ARNER "ROS HAVING BEEN SO IMPRESSED WITH THE MOVIE DECIDED AT THE ELEVENTH HOUR TO RELEASE IT THEATRICALLY 4HIS MEANT THE MOVIE HAD LITTLE PRE PUBLICITY SO WHILST IT WAS WELL RECEIVED BY CRITICS FEW PEOPLE ACTUALLY KNEW IT EVEN EXISTED 5LTIMATELY THIS IS THE TRAGEDY OF THIS MOVIE &AR BETTER THAN "ATMAN &OREVER AND ITS DIRE SEQUEL -ASK OF THE 0HANTASM IS A TERRIlC MOVIE THAT DESERVES FAR MORE ATTENTION THAN IT HAS EVER RECIEVED ,IAM / "RIEN
/THER 3CREENS
.EWS 7'! 3TRIKE !S YOU PROBABLY ALL KNOW THE 7'! S 7RITER S 'UILD OF !MERICA STRIKE HAS BEGUN 4HOUGH IT WON T AFFECT THE lLM STUDIOS FOR A LONG TIME THE CRAFTY SO AND SOS HAVE BEEN STOCKPILING SCRIPTS FOR QUITE SOME TIME NOW YOU WILL SEE ALL YOUR FAVOURITE 53 46 SHOWS GO ON AN INDElNITE HIATUS UNTIL A DEAL IS STRUCK
4ALKING -OVIES
4HE *ANE !USTEN "OOK #LUB $IR 2OBIN 3WICORD 2ELEASED h(E LOOKS AT ME LIKE ) M THE BOWL OF ICE CREAM AND HE IS THE SPOON v 4HIS LINE MAY CAUSE YOU TO INSTANTLY CONSIDER 4HE *ANE !USTEN "OOK #LUB TO BE SENTIMENTAL CHICK mICK mUFF HOWEVER THIS ADAPTATION OF THE PHENOMENALLY SUCCESSFUL BOOK WRITTEN BY +AREN *OY &OWLER WILL NOT LEAVE YOU DISSATISlED 3ET IN #ALIFORNIA A GROUP OF SIX PEOPLE FORM A BOOK CLUB EACH CHOOSING A *ANE !USTEN NOVEL TO DISCUSS OVER A PERIOD OF SIX MONTHS "UT WHAT THEY lND IS NOT JUST AN AP
PRECIATION OF THE %NGLISH NOVELIST BUT A DEEPER UNDERSTANDING OF HOW TO DEAL WITH LIFE AND ITS PROBLEMS RANGING FROM AFFAIRS TO THE LACK OF PASSION IN A RELATIONSHIP 4HE lLM DRAWS PARALLELS BE TWEEN THE COMPLICATED HUMAN RE LATIONSHIPS IN THE NOVELS WITH THE CHARACTERS OWN ROMANTIC ISSUES 9ET IT EFFECTIVELY SHOWS THE REALITY OF LIFE RATHER THAN PRESENTING THE USUAL (OLLYWOOD @HAPPY EVER AFTER 7ITTY TOUCHING AND PLAYFULLY HUMOROUS JUST LIKE !USTEN S NOVELS 4HE *ANE !USTEN "OOK #LUB IS FULL OF FANTASTIC PERFORMANCES AND IS A BIG HUG OF A lLM +AYLEIGH -OORE
,IONS FOR ,AMBS $IR 2OBERT 2EDFORD 2ELEASED ,IONS FOR ,AMBS IS A POWERFUL STORY THAT DIGS BEHIND THE NEWS AND POLI TICS OF A NATION DIVIDED BY A COMPLI CATED WAR 4HE PLOT IS IN ESSENCE A MEDITATION ON WHERE !MERICA STANDS CURRENTLY IN THE WAR ON TERROR (OW EVER TO CHALLENGE THE STATIC NATURE OF THE SCREENPLAY WRITER -ATTHEW #ARNAHAN ADDS DRAMA BY FOLLOWING A SMALL UNIT S ASSAULT ON A MOUNTAIN TOP IN !FGHANISTAN ,IONS FOR ,AMBS IS A CHALLENGING MULTI LEVEL lLM WHICH ATTEMPTS TO COVER SOME OF THE MOST COMPLEX IS SUES OF OUR TIME 3OME WILL lND THE
!MERICAN 'ANGSTER $IR 2IDLEY 3COTT 2ELEASED !MERICAN 'ANGSTER CHRONICLES THE TRUE STORY OF (ARLEM DRUG LORD &RANK ,U CAS $ENZEL 7ASHINGTON AND THE DETECTIVE TASKED TO BRING HIM DOWN 2ICHIE 2OBERTS 2USSELL #ROWE 4HE lLM IS INCREDIBLY AMBITIOUS IN ITS SCOPE PLAYING WITH OUR CONVENTIONAL ASSUMPTIONS OF HERO AND VILLAIN 4HE STORY TAKES SOME HUGE LEAPS THAT ARE NOT FULLY EXPLAINED AND CHANGES IN CHARACTERS GO UNEXPLAINED )T S NOT THAT THE STORY DOESN T MAKE SENSE OR CHARACTERS APPEAR CONTRADIC TORY BUT THAT THE WHOLE lLM EXUDES AN AURA OF UNFULlLLED POTENTIAL 4HE
lLM STIMULATING BUT OTHERS 7ELL STARRING 4OM #RUISE -ERYL 3TREEP AND 2OBERT 2EDFORD THERE ARE CER TAIN EXPECTATIONS WITH THIS LEVEL OF SUPERSTARDOM WHICH ARE NOT QUITE MET 4HE lLM EXCELS IN ITS EVEN HAND ED DEALING WITH POLITICAL ISSUES BUT IT LACKS THE SOCIAL COMMENTARY NEEDED TO PROPEL IT FURTHER UNFORTUNATELY PLACING IT IN THE COLUMN OF lLMS THAT HAVE FAILED TO LIVE UP TO THEIR POTEN TIAL $ESPITE ITS SHORTCOMINGS ,IONS FOR ,AMBS WILL BE A lLM EXPERIENCE TO DISCUSS AND DEBATE LONG AFTER THE CREDITS ROLL +ATHERINE %VANS
TWO LEAD CHARACTERS ARE THE BEST EX AMPLE OF THIS ,UCAS S PERSONALITY IS NOT EXPLORED FULLY AND 2OBERTS IS PRE SENTED AS A MAN WHO DRINKS HEAVILY AND NEGLECTS HIS SON (OWEVER IN HIS PROFESSIONAL LIFE HE IS SCRUPULOUSLY HONEST A ONE MAN CRUSADE AGAINST BENT COPS HIS CHARACTER SEEMS SIMPLY HOLLOW 4HE lLM HOWEVER ENTERTAINS THROUGHOUT AND IS AN AMBITIOUS AT TEMPT TO UNITE THE TRADITIONAL COP AND MAlA GENRES !LTHOUGH IT FALLS JUST SHORT OF THE MARK IN TRULY PULLING IT OFF IT MAY WELL BE REMEMBERED AS THE PRECURSOR TO SOMETHING GREAT !NDY *ONES
"RICK ,ANE
'OOD ,UCK #HUCK
"EOWULF
-ONICA !LI S BEST SELLING DEBUT NOVEL ABOUT LIFE IN ,ONDON S "ANGLADESHI QUARTER GETS A SENSITIVE TREATMENT FROM DIRECTOR 3ARAH 'AVRON "RICK ,ANE IS AN ENLIGHTENING TALE WHICH HOLDS MORE BENEATH THE SURFACE THAN lRST APPEARS HOWEVER THE RO MANCE AT THE HEART OF THE STORY NEVER TRULY COMES ALIVE ON SCREEN LEAVING MUCH TO BE FULlLLED
)F THE TRAILER ISN T ENOUGH TO PUT YOU OFF THIS AP PALLING lLM THEN HOPEFULLY THE PHRASE hACCIDENT PRONE PENGUIN SPECIALISTv IS 'OD ONLY KNOWS WHY SUCH lLMS ARE EVEN MADE ,ACKING lNESSE THE lLM RELIES ON CRUDE AND UNORIGINAL JOKES WHICH AT BEST GIVE A MILD GROAN !S ROM COMS GO 'OOD ,UCK #HUCK FALLS mAT ON BOTH ACCOUNTS
&ROM THE OFFSET "EOWULF LOOKS TERRIlC BUT THANK FULLY UNLIKE IT HAS ENOUGH STORYLINE TO CARRY IT THOUGH THE MOTIONS 4HE EPIC POEM IS BROUGHT ENTERTAININGLY TO LIFE BY AN EXTREMELY GIFTED CAST AND CREW HOWEVER AS WITH MOST ADAPTATIONS THE lLM DOESN T HOLD A CANDLE TO THE ORIGINAL EPIC POEM BUT IT DOES A BLOODY GOOD JOB TRYING
4HROUGH "URTON S ,OOKING 'LASS 4IM "URTON WILL DIRECT TWO MOV IES FOR $ DISTRIBUTION BY $ISNEY THE PREVIOUSLY RUMOURED &RANK ENWEENIE IN WHICH A YOUNG BOY BRINGS HIS DOG BACK TO LIFE AFTER IT S RUN OVER PLUS A NEW VERSION OF !LICE IN 7ONDERLAND "URTON WILL START WITH !LICE AND HE S GOT A SOLID SCRIPTWRITER ON BOARD IN THE FORM OF ,INDA 7OOLV ERTON 4HE ,ION +ING "EAUTY AND THE "EAST 7ITH SINISTER #HESHIRE CATS MURDEROUS QUEENS AND CHAIN SMOKING CATERPILLARS ALREADY IN ITS TWISTED BIZARRE WORLD WE CAN ONLY WAIT TO SEE WHAT WONDERS THE MIND OF 4IM "URTON WILL COME UP WITH 3PIELBERG S (ONORARY 'LOBE 3TEVEN 3PIELBERG WILL BE HONOURED AT NEXT *ANUARY S 'OLDEN 'LOBE !WARDS WITH THE #ECIL " $E-ILLE !WARD FOR HIS @OUTSTANDING CONTRI BUTION TO THE ENTERTAINMENT lELD
#HECK OUT 4HE &ORBIDDEN +INGDOM CLIP ON 9OU4UBE 7ITH *ACKIE #HAN AND *ET ,I IN THE SAME MOVIE YOU JUST KNOW IT S GOING TO BE MIND BLOW INGLY AWESOME 4HE /THER "OLEYN 'IRL 4RAILER !DAPTED FROM 0HILIPPA 'REGORY S NOVEL THE lLM FOCUSES ON -ARY 3CARLETT *OHANSSON AND !NNE .ATALIE 0ORTMAN "OLEYN BOTH OF WHOM HAD AFFAIRS WITH (ENRY 6))) %RIC "ANA AT THE BEHEST OF THEIR FAMILY IN ORDER TO SECURE THE FAMILY S STATUS
0IC OF THE WEEK
4HE @5NTITLED * * !BRAMS 0ROJECT l NALLY HAS A NAME n #LOVERlELD 7E ALL SAW THE GRAINY TRAILER BEFORE 4RANS FORMERS AND IT LOOKS SET TO BE AN INTERESTING IF NOT MYSTERIOUS lLM #LOVERlELD DUE OUT &EBRUARY REVOLVES AROUND A MONSTER ATTACK IN .EW 9ORK AS TOLD FROM THE POINT OF VIEW OF A SMALL GROUP OF PEOPLE
$6$ 2ELEASES
(AIRSPRAY $IR !DAM 3HANKMAN ! BIG GIRL WITH BIG HAIR 4RACY 4URN BLAD .IKKI "LONSKY BECAME THIS SUMMER S BIG HEROINE .O WEBS OR WANDS NEEDED (AIRSPRAY FOLLOWS AN ORDINARY GIRL S DREAM TO DANCE ON HER FAVOURITE TELEVISION PROGRAMME 4HE #ORNY #OLLINS 3HOW WHERE SHE RADICAL LY CHANGES VIEWERS PERCEPTIONS HELP ING THE SHOW TO BECOME INTEGRATED IN THE CONCLUDING NUMBER 7ITH CATCHY SONGS AND FANTASTIC DANCING (AIRSPRAY IS PURE ENTERTAIN MENT YET THE POLITICAL AND SOCIAL MESSAGES THE lLM DELIVERS HELP IT TO HAVE MORE DEPTH AND GIVE YOU SOME
THING TO REALLY CARE ABOUT 7ITH AN ALL STAR CAST INCLUDING *OHN 4ROVOLTA IN DRAG #HRISTOPHER 7ALKEN AND :AC %FRON CONTINUING HIS DOMINATION OF MODERN DAY MU SICALS EVERY ACTOR PLAYS THEIR PART SPOT ON PROVING TO BE TALENTED SINGERS AND DANCERS 4RAVOLTA IS SURPRISINGLY GOOD AS %DNA 4URNBLAD 4RACY S MOTHER AND DElNITELY ADDS ANOTHER LEVEL OF HUMOUR TO THE lLM "LONSKY S DEBUT IS FANTASTIC AND SHE WITHOUT A DOUBT STEALS THE SHOW ! REAL FEEL GOOD lLM THAT DEALS WITH IMPORTANT ISSUES (AIRSPRAY IS DElNITELY A MUST FOR ALL MUSICAL LOVERS +ARINE 7ACH $ONOVAN
(ARRY 0OTTER AND THE !T 7ORLD S %ND /RDER OF THE 0HOENIX $IR 'ORE 6ERBINSKI $IR $AVID 9ATES )N THE DARKEST lLM OF THE SERIES YET (ARRY 0OTTER $ANIEL 2ADCLIFFE AND HIS FRIENDS MUST STRUGGLE TO PREPARE FOR 6OLDEMORT S INEVITABLE RISE WHILE THE REST OF THE WIZARDING COMMUNITY REFUSE TO BELIEVE (ARRY S WARNINGS 9ATES CAPTURES THIS GRITTY STORYLINE WELL ON lLM BUT THIS SLOW STARTER FAILS TO LIVE UP TO THE TRUE POTENTIAL OF * + 2OWLING S MUCH LOVED ORIGINAL #HLOE 7ARREN
7HEN THE ORIGINAL 0IRATES HIT CIN EMAS YEARS AGO WE WERE PRESENTED WITH A SURPRISINGLY FUN ROMP !P PARENTLY THE PRODUCERS HAVE FOR GOTTEN HOW THEY MADE A lLM THAT GOOD AS THE TWO SEQUELS HAVE BEEN LABORIOUS AND DEPRESSING !S WE FOLLOW THE NOW HUGELY IN mATED CAST THROUGH VARIOUS BATTLES AND ADVENTURES ALL SENSE OF INTEREST IS LOST AMONG THE MAZE OF PLOT TWISTS 7ITH SO MANY CHARACTERS TO FOLLOW IT S IM POSSIBLE TO EMPATHISE WITH ANYONE $EPP IS AS GOOD AS EVER 'EOFFREY 2USH S "ARBOSSA CHEWS HIS SCENES
"ORDERS 1UICK lRE &ILM 1UIZ !NSWER THIS QUESTION FOR A CHANCE TO WIN A TOP TITLE $6$ FROM "ORDERS
1 &AMILY 'UY SEASON SIX FEATURED A SPOOF EPISODE OF 3TAR 7ARS 7HY WAS THIS EPISODE NAMED @"LUE (ARVEST %MAIL YOUR NAME AND ANSWER TO CONCRETE EVENT
UEA AC UK BY 4HURSDAY TH .OVEMBER WITH @"ORDERS &ILM 1UIZ IN THE SUBJECT LINE
4HE "ORDERS -ONTHLY &ILM 1UIZ ON 4HURSDAY TH .OVEMBER FROM PM )T S .ORWICH S ANSWER TO .UMBER 7ANG BUT WITHOUT THE NUMBERS AND THE WANGING 3O IF YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ARE lLM BOFlNS CROAK h2OSEBUDv JUMP IN YOUR SLEIGH AND COME AND JOIN US INSTORE ON THE TH 'REAT $6$ PRIZES TO BE WON
7IN (ITMAN 'OODY 0ACKS 7E HAVE BRILLIANT (ITMAN GOODIE PACKS TO GIVE AWAY WHICH INCLUDE A T SHIRT BASEBALL CAP 53" MOBILE PHONE CHARGER -" ,IGHT 5P 53" $EVICE AND A KEY CHAIN &OR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTION 7HAT IS THE NAME OF THE $ANISH COMPUTER GAME DEVELOPER THAT CREATED THE (ITMAN SERIES %MAIL YOUR NAME AND ANSWERS TO CONCRETE lLM UEA AC UK BY 4HURSDAY TH .OVEMBER WITH @(ITMAN -ERCHANDISE IN THE SUBJECT LINE
7IN (ITMAN /PENING .IGHT 4ICKETS 4HE .ORWICH /DEON IS HOSTING A SPECIAL LATE NIGHT SCREENING OF (ITMAN ON .O VEMBER TH %VERYONE THAT TURNS UP DRESSED TO KILL IN (ITMAN ESQUE ATTIRE GETS A FREE DRINK ON ARRIVAL 4HERE WILL BE A PRIZE FOR THE BEST DRESSED (ITMAN WOMAN 4O CELEBRATE THE RELEASE WE HAVE PAIRS OF TICKETS FOR GIVE AWAY TO THIS SPECIAL SCREENING &OR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTION 7HO PLAYS !GENT IN THE MOVIE %MAIL YOUR NAME AND ANSWERS TO CONCRETE lLM UEA AC UK BY -IDDAY 7EDNESDAY TH .OVEMBER WITH @(ITMAN 4ICKETS IN THE SUBJECT LINE
LIKE lNE TOBACCO AND *ACK $AVEN PORT S TORTURED .ORRINGTON PROVIDES SOME GENUINE HEART "UT EVERY SCENE LACKING THESE CHARACTERS DRAGS ON AND THERE ARE A LOT OF THEM +EIRA +NIGHTLEY IS PARTICULARLY BAD AND ONE SCENE WHERE SHE MAKES A SUP POSEDLY INSPRING 1UEEN %LIZABETH ESQUE RALLYING SPEECH TO THE MASSES IS CRINGEWORTHY 3OME mASHY SPECIAL EFFECTS AT THE END ARE NOT ENOUGH TO SAVE 0I RATES 4HE ONLY STRONG RECOMMEN DATION IS THE CHANCE TO SEE +EITH 2I CHARDS SURPRISINGLY ENJOYABLE TURN AS *ACK 3PARROW S FATHER !NDY *UDSON
"EHIND THE #AMERA
)N RECENT YEARS THE LINE BETWEEN ACTOR AND DIRECTOR HAS BECOME INCREASINGLY BLURRED WITH MORE AND MORE ACTORS SWAPPING ROLES AND STEPPING BEHIND THE CAMERA -ATT /WEN TAKES A LOOK AT SOME OF THE REASONS WHY THE DIRECTOR S CHAIR HAS SUCH A PULL
7
H AT IS THE MOST OBVIOUS CHOICE LEFT TO AN ACTOR WHEN THEY TIRE OF THE LIMELIGHT WANT A CHANGE OF SCEN ERY OR HAVE AN ARTISTIC VISION WHICH THEY WANT FULL CONTROL OF 3IMPLE REALLY STEP BEHIND THE CAMERA AND DIRECT !LTHOUGH TRADITIONALLY THE ROLES OF ACTOR AND DIRECTOR HAVE BEEN KEPT LARGELY SEPARATE IN RECENT YEARS THE LINE HAS BECOME INCREAS INGLY BLURRED 4HE RESULTS HAVE BEEN MIXED AND THERE HAVE BEEN SOME REAL mOPS BUT THERE HAVE ALSO BEEN SOME OUTSTANDING SUCCESSES MOST NOTABLY ON THE PART OF A FORMER KING OF THE SPAGHETTI WESTERN 5NTIL THE S AN ACTOR TURN ING TO DIRECTING WAS A RARE PHE NOMENON 2OBERT -ONTGOMERY PRODUCED SOME INTERESTING WORK IN THE S %NGLISH ACTRESS )DA ,U PINO HAD SOME SUCCESS THE DECADE AFTER AND ACTOR #HARLES ,AUGHTON S .IGHT OF THE (UNTER IN IS NOW REGARDED AS AN EXCEPTIONALLY WELL DIRECTED THRILLER (OWEVER APART FROM /RSON 7ELLES S ICONIC #ITIZEN +ANE WHICH HE BOTH DIRECTED AND STARRED IN THERE WERE FEW MAJOR lLMS PRODUCED FROM AN ACTING DI RECTING COMBINATION UNTIL )T WAS IN THIS YEAR THAT SCREEN LEGEND #LINT %ASTWOOD PRODUCED HIS DIREC TORIAL DEBUT 0LAY -ISTY WITH -E A TAUT THRILLER WHICH HE ALSO STARRED IN %ASTWOOD ENJOYED FURTHER ACTING SUCCESS THROUGH THIS DECADE AND THE NEXT WITH A NUMBER OF WELL RECEIVED lLMS INCLUDING THE FAMOUS $IRTY (ARRY SERIES (OWEVER IT WAS FOR HIS DIRECTING THAT HE WOULD RECEIVE GREATER CRITICAL ACCLAIM 3INCE THE START OF THE S %AST WOOD HAS PRODUCED A STRING OF TOP QUALITY lLMS WHICH HE HAS BOTH DI RECTED AND ON THE MOST PART STARRED IN )N HIS GRITTY WESTERN 4HE 5NFORGIVEN WON !CADEMY !WARDS FOR BEST DIRECTOR AND BEST PICTURE ! 0ERFECT 7ORLD AND -YSTIC 2IVER WERE ALSO WELL RECEIVED AND S EX CEPTIONAL -ILLION $OLLAR "ABY WON FOUR ACADEMY AWARDS INCLUDING BEST PICTURE &LAGS OF OUR &ATHERS AND ,ETTERS FROM )WO *IMA BOTH ENJOYED
h )N THE LAST DECADE OR SO THERE HAS BEEN A mURRY OF AC TORS SUCCESSFUL LY TRYING THEIR HAND AT DIRECT ING 7HO KNOWS WHAT COULD EMERGE IN YEARS TO COME SHOULD CONTEMPORARY SCREEN ICONS SUCH AS "RAD 0ITT AND *OHNNY $EPP DECIDE TO STEP BEHIND THE CAMERA v COMMERCIAL AND CRITICAL SUCCESS AND TOOK %ASTWOOD S TOTAL TALLY OF DIRECT ED lLMS UP TO (E IS ONE OF ONLY THREE DIRECTORS IN HISTORY TO RECEIVE TWO BEST PICTURE AWARDS %ASTWOOD MAY BE THE MOST TALKED OF ACTORS TO HAVE STEPPED THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CAMERA BUT HE IS BY NO MEANS ALONE IN THIS FEAT +EVIN #OSTNER S $ANCES WITH 7OLVES AND 2OBERT 2EDFORD S /RDINARY 0EO PLE WERE BOTH CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED AND BOTH MEN WON !CADEMY !WARDS FOR THEIR DIRECTING AN AWARD THEY MISSED OUT ON AS ACTORS 5BER COOL 'EORGE #LOONEY S SECOND DI RECTORIAL EFFORT 'OOD .IGHT AND 'OOD ,UCK RECEIVED GLOWING REVIEWS AND SIX ACADEMY AWARD NOMINATIONS IN 4HIS YEAR 3EAN 0ENN S DRAMA )NTO THE 7ILD AND "EN !FmECK S 'ONE "ABY 'ONE HAVE BOTH BEEN TIPPED FOR /SCAR SUCCESS 4HIS IS NOT TO SAY THAT EVERY AC TOR S EFFORT AT DIRECTING HAS BEEN A SUCCESS "EN 3TILLER S 4HE #ABLE 'UY
RECEIVED LUKEWARM REVIEWS EVEN IF IT WAS A BOX OFlCE HIT AND %D DIE -URPHY S (ARLEM .IGHTS WAS PANNED BY CRITICS AND AUDIENCES ALIKE "UT ON THE WHOLE IN THE LAST DECADE OR SO THERE HAS BEEN A mURRY OF ACTORS SUCCESSFULLY TRY ING THEIR HAND AT DIRECTING 7HY 3OME THINK IT S BECAUSE THEY ARE AC TORS lRST AND DIRECTORS SECOND AND WILL PUSH THEIR CAST TO ITS LIMITS KNOWING FROM EXPERIENCE HOW TO
APPROACH SCENES AND SHOOT THEM MOST EFFECTIVELY /THERS TAKE A MORE CYNICAL VIEW BELIEVING THAT PRODUCTION COMPA NIES ARE CASHING IN ON THE PHENOM ENON AND PROVIDING ACTORS WITH THE FUNDING AND RESOURCES BECAUSE OF THE MONETARY GAINS OF HAVING A HOUSEHOLD NAME AS A DIRECTOR 4HERE ARE EVEN THOSE WHO FEAR THAT IN THE FUTURE ONLY WELL KNOWN ACTORS WILL GET AN OPPORTUNITY TO DIRECT
7HATEVER THE REASONS BEHIND THE TREND IT IS NOT GOING ANYWAY ANYTIME SOON 4HE EVER GROWING POOL OF ACTORS WHO HAVE PROVED THEY CAN DIRECT AS WELL AS ACT ARE INmUENCING THE INDUSTRY MORE AND MORE YEAR BY YEAR 7HO KNOWS WHAT COULD EMERGE IN YEARS TO COME SHOULD CONTEMPORARY SCREEN ICONS SUCH AS "RAD 0ITT AND *OHN NY $EPP DECIDE TO STEP BEHIND THE CAMERA 7ATCH THIS SPACE
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!RTS #ENTRE n "ASSEKOU +OUYATE .GONI "A n a .53
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'AMING .EWS
)NTERNET .EWS
)N THE LAST FEW WEEKS THE ANTICIPA TION FOR THE LATEST TWO MUSIC RHYTHM GAMES HAS REACHED FEVER PITCH WITH NEW DETAILS TRACK LISTS AND RELEASE DATES ALL SURFACING 7ELL KNOWN FOR ITS EASY TO LEARN BUT NEAR IMPOSSIBLE TO MASTER GAMEPLAY THE GUITAR HERO FRANCHISE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR HUN DREDS OF DEVOTED PEOPLE WITH NOTH ING BETTER TO DO THAN THRASH OUT "ARK AT THE -OON ON THE %XPERT DIFlCULTY ENDING UP ON YOUTUBE COM MAKING FOOLS OF THEMSELVES 4HE KEY FEATURE OF 2OCK "AND HOWEVER IS THE ABILITY TO USE DRUM AND MICROPHONE PERIPH ERALS AS WELL AS BASS AND ELECTRIC GUITARS ESSENTIALLY CREATING YOUR OWN VIRTUAL BAND AND IN CLUDING 3ING3TAR FANS IN THE TARGET AUDIENCE 4HE INSTRUMENTS WILL NOT BE AVAILABLE SEPARATELY IN !MERICA WHERE THE GAME LAUNCHES EARLIER AS USUAL AND THE RESULTING PRICE POINT FOR ALL FOUR IS SURE TO PUT SOME PEOPLE OFF (OPEFULLY BY THE EARLY RELEASE DATE FOR %UROPE THE @SUPPLY ISSUES WILL HAVE BEEN SOLVED 'UITAR (ERO ))) IS RELEASED OUT ON THE RD .OVEMBER AND DOWNLOADABLE CONTENT HAS ALREADY BEEN CONTROVERSIALLY CON lRMED IN ADVANCE AS HAS 2OCK "AND CONTENT BUT THIS IS LESS SURPRISING AS %! ARE INVOLVED .O GUITARS FOR EITHER GAME WILL BE WIRELESS AT LAUNCH WHICH IS DISAPPOINTING IF YOU EVER FOUND YOURSELF SWINGING THE ORIGINAL CONTROLLER ROUND YOUR HEAD AFTER NAILING A SONG ONLY TO HALF STRANGLE YOURSELF AND PULL YOUR 03 OUT OF ITS ENTERTAINMENT CENTRE 4HE TRACK LISTS ARE PRETTY SIMILAR THOUGH 2OCK "AND S IS PERHAPS MORE MAINSTREAM AND OF COURSE IT S REALLY JUST ANOTHER CHANCE FOR THOSE OF US TOO LAZY TO LEARN THE GUITAR OR DRUMS OR SING ING IN 2OCK "AND S CASE TO SOUND LIKE ROCK GODS
(OW MANY OF YOU STILL HAVE YOUR PASSWORD SET TO @PASSWORD ! RECENT STUDY BY THE GOV ERNMENT BACKED 'ET 3AFE /NLINE '3/ GROUP FOUND THAT MILLIONS OF PEOPLE ARE LEAV ING THEMSELVES VULNERABLE THROUGH THE USE OF EASILY GUESSABLE PASSWORDS 7ITH THE USE OF ONLINE BANKING AMONG STUDENTS PARTICULARLY HIGH AS WELL AS THE USE OF SOCIAL NETWORKING SITES SUCH AS THE EVER POPULAR &ACEBOOK IT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN EVER TO ENSURE YOUR INFORMATION IS SAFE AND WELL PROTECTED '3/ RECOMMENDS AVOIDING WORDS FOUND IN THE DICTIONARY AS WELL AS NAMES OF PEOPLE AND PLACES )NSTEAD A GOOD PASSWORD WILL MIX LET TERS NUMBERS AND PUNCTUATION WITH THE BEST CONTAINING NON ALPHANUMERIC CHARACTERS OR SYMBOLS )DENTITY FRAUD IS INCREASING EVERY YEAR SO REMEMBER TO TAKE STEPS TO PROTECT YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION 3INCE THE RELEASE OF POPULAR EVENT TICKETS USUALLY MEANS LONG QUEUES AROUND THE (IVE OR HOUR SELLOUTS HOW MANY OF YOU WISHED FOR A WAY TO ORDER TICKETS FOR UPCOMING EVENTS WITHOUT LEAVING THE COMFORT OF YOUR BED !T HTTPS SECURE UEATICKETBOOKINGS CO UK YOU CAN ORDER TICKETS NOT JUST FOR MANY ,#2 EVENTS BUT ALSO FOR THOSE AT THE 7ATERFRONT AND VARIOUS OTHER VENUES IN .ORWICH !LL WITHOUT HAVING TO STAND OUT IN THE RAIN
-IKE (AZELTON
'AMING 'REATS
3HENMUE $EVELOPER 3EGA !- 0UBLISHER 3EGA 9EAR
)F THERE IS ONE CONSISTENT CRITICISM THAT CAN BE APPLIED TO COMPUTER GAMES IT S THAT THEY REGULARLY FAIL TO MAKE PEOPLE CARE THE PLAYER STARTS TO QUESTION WHY THEY SHOULD CONTINUE TO PLAY 3HENMUE BUCKS THAT TREND MANAGING TO PROVIDE A REAL SENSE OF CATHARSIS 4HE PLAYER IS IMMERSED IN EMOTION CREATING A POWERFUL NARRATIVE EXPERIENCE UNRIVALLED BY MOST #REATED BY THE LEGENDARY 9U 3UZUKI IT WAS THE $REAMCAST S MOST ANTICIPATED TITLE 4HE HYSTERIA AND BROKEN PROMISES THAT THE GAME WOULD DELIVER A REVOLUTIONARY WAY TO PLAY GAMES ALIENATED MANY !S THE MOST EXPENSIVE COMPUTER GAME EVER MADE 3HENMUE BECAME AN UNPRECEDENTED mOP 9ET MANY CONTINUE TO WAX LYRICAL ABOUT 3HENMUE &OR THOSE THAT MANAGED TO GET PAST THE MANY MISGIVINGS A WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE
ENTAILED 3ET IN S *APAN YOU PLAY A TEEN AGER NAMED 2YO WHO ONE DAY WITNESSES HIS FATHER S DEATH AT THE HANDS OF ,AN $I THE HEAD OF A SECRET #HINESE ORGANISATION 2YO S VOW TO AVENGE THE MURDER OF HIS FATHER IS THE BASIC PREMISE OF THE GAME 4HE ABILITY TO INTERACT WITH NEARLY EVERY OBJECT OR PERSON IN THE GAME HOWEVER CREATES A MUCH MORE FAR RANGING ADVENTURE 4HE WOEFUL VOICE ACTING FAILS TO DETRACT FROM THE OVERALL NARRATIVE WHICH AT TIMES IS NOTHING SHORT OF BEAUTIFUL 4HE ORCHESTRAL SOUNDTRACK AND ART DIRECTION ENTWINE TO CREATE A HARMONIC TALE OF REVENGE BETRAYAL AND DECEIT !LTHOUGH AN EQUALLY GREAT SEQUEL WAS RE LEASED THE STORY REMAINS UNlNISHED )T S ON GOING POPULARITY IS BEST SHOWN IN THE VOCAL DEMAND FOR THE SERIES TO BE lNISHED HIGH LIGHTING THIS AS ONE GAME WHICH CERTAINLY EVOKED A LOT OF PASSION FROM THOSE WHO PLAYED IT +ARL $AVIES
&INALLY TO THE lLLER FOR THIS ISSUE WWW FRE ERICE COM "Y GUESSING THE MEANING OF A WORD CORRECTLY YOU WILL DONATE GRAINS OF RICE TO A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY AND PERHAPS EVEN EXPAND YOUR VOCABULARY ALONG THE WAY )T IS COMPLETELY FREE AND A GREAT WAY TO PASS A FEW MINUTES WHILE WAITING FOR 7EBMAIL TO LOAD 0AUL "YGRAVE
#ROSSWORD
Sponsored by:
!CROSS
$OWN
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3KILLED PROl CIENT -ARY x #OURT RESIDENCE 4RANSPORTATION VIA TRAIN $AMP #ONSTELLATION COMPONENT 0OKE 'UARD OF THE CROWN JEWELS -ARQUIS DE x SADISM DERIVED FROM HIS NAME /IL COMPANY .ASAL MUCUS 2ELIGIOUS PRAISE &ORMAL WEAR FOR LADIES x 3TARR "EATLES DRUMMER 4HE x BAND OF THE S *OHN x FORMER ,ABOUR (OME 3ECRETARY .ATIONAL EQUIVELENT OF THE 5N ION OF 5%! 3TUDENTS ABBR
3UDOKU with
The Avenue Bookshop 21 Avenue Road, Norwich 01603 768720 Open 10am - 5pm, Mon to Sat
4O BE IN WITH A CHANCE OF WINNING A a VOUCHER TO SPEND AT 4HE !VENUE "OOKSHOP BRING YOUR COMPLETED ENTRY TO THE #ONCRETE OFl CE BY
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(OW TO %NTER
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)N ORDER TO ENTER COMPETITIONS JUST l LL IN YOUR NAME AND EMAIL ADDRESS AND TAKE IT TO THE #ONCRETE OFl CE UPSTAIRS IN 5NION (OUSE /NCE IN THE (IVE GO UP THE STAIRS AND TURN BACK ON YOURSELF TO THE LEFT 4URN RIGHT BEFORE THE GLASS DOORS TO THE 5NION OFl CES AND THROUGH THE SINGLE DOOR BEFORE CONTINUING DOWN THE CORRIDOR 4URN RIGHT AT THE END THROUGH THE DOOR AND THE #ONCRETE OFl CE IS IMMEDIATELY ON YOUR LEFT 3EE MAP ON LEFT
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&IND SOMETHING DIFFERENT THIS #HRISTMAS AT "ORDERS "ORDERS HAVE THE LARGEST SELECTION OF BOOKS MAGAZINES #$S AND $6$S IN .ORWICH &IND THEM IN #HAPELl ELD 4O BE IN WITH A CHANCE OF WINNING A a "ORDERS VOUCHER BRING AT CORRECTLY COMPLETED 3UDOKU TO THE #ONCRETE OFl CE BY
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&OLLOWING THE -ALIBU 3OUND#LASH ,#2 WHICH TOOK PLACE ON -ONDAY TH 3EPTEMBER 3TUDENT $IRECT HAVE TEAMED UP WITH THE 3OUND#LASH ONCE MORE TO OFFER ONE LUCKY READER THE CHANCE OF WINNING A -ALIBU 3OUND#LASH GOODY BAG 4O BE IN WITH A CHANCE OF WINNING JUST BRING IN THE CORRECT ANSWER TO THE #ONCRETE OFl CE BY
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