The Event - Issue 213

4HE %VENT

7E ASK 7HICH IS BETTER "OOSH OR #ONCHORDS 0LUS 7E CHAT TO THE &UTUREHEADS AND /NE .IGHT /NLY !ND 4HE PERFECT OUTlT FOR A SINGLE GIRL THIS 6ALENTINE S

"EAUTIFUL PROSE FROM US TO YOU

(ELLO

)N THIS ISSUE

! COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO WHILE WAITING FOR MY PAR ENTS TO ARRIVE FOR A 3UNDAY LUNCH BASED VISIT ) WAS m ICKING THROUGH THE CHANNELS ON MY &REEVIEW BOX &OR MY SINS ) STOPPED ON )46 AND WATCHED ABOUT MINUTES OF (EY 0AULA A DOCUMENTARY CHARTING THE LIFE OF 0AULA !BDUL THE ONE TIME POP @SENSA TION AND NOW JUDGE ON !MERICAN )DOL !S ) SAT AND WATCHED THIS YEAR OLD WOMAN ATTEMPT TO GO THROUGH HER LIFE WITH THE HELP OF ONLY TWO ASSISTANTS AT HER CONSTANT BECK AND CALL IT MADE ME APPRECIATE HOW NORMAL MY OWN LIFE IS 4O SEE ANY PERSON CRY AND SCREAM AT THEIR ASSISTANTS BECAUSE THEY BROUGHT THE WRONG PAIR OF TROUSERS FOR THEM TO WEAR ON A m IGHT WAS JUST EXTRUCIATING 7HEN SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT IT LATER !BDUL MADE A PRICELESS STATE MENT THAT WAS SO UNBELIEVABLE ) HAD TO WRITE IT DOWN 3HE SAID h) DON T KNOW WHY PEOPLE DON T TREAT ME LIKE THE GIFT ) AM v WITH ABSOLUTE SINCERITY )T MAKES ME SO SAD TO THINK THAT SOMEONE COULD GET TO SUCH A SELF INVOLVED AND DELUDED POSITION THAT THEY EXPECT OTHERS TO TREAT THEM LIKE SOME SORT OF DEITY 3ORRY 0AULA ) KNOW EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE A CERTAIN DEGREE OF SELF BELIEF BUT THAT S TAKING IT A BIT TOO FAR /N A JOLLIER NOTE THE NEWS HAS COME IN AS ) WRITE THIS THAT THE 7RITER S 3TRIKE APPEARS TO BE AT AN END 4HIS IS EXCELLENT NEWS FOR EVERYONE WHO WATCHES WORSHIPS OR WORKS IN THE 46 OR l LM INDUSTRIES (OPEFULLY WE CAN GET SOME DECENT PROGRAMMING NOW AND THEN MAYBE THEY LL STOP MAKING SHOWS ABOUT 0AULA !BDUL 5NTIL NEXT TIME

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%DITOR IN #HIEF -ARCUS *ONES %DITOR &IONA "ILLINGS $EPUTY !RTS &AY (ARRIS #ONTRIBUTORS 3ARAH #HRISTIE 4ERI +AROBONIK %LSIE +ING !MY ,OWE

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P 7E TAKE A TOUR OF .ORWICH S FAMOUS CHURCHES P 2EVIEWS OF THE BEST BESTSELLERS OUT NOW

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P 7HITE 7ATER IN 5NI "ANDS PLUS A GROUP ON &ACEBOOK ENCOURAGES US TO ALL BUY CARROTS

46

P -IGHTY "OOSH VS &LIGHT OF THE #ONCHORDS P 'LADIATORS REMEMBERED PLUS 3KINS IS BACK

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P P ! DOUBLE PAGE OF ALL YOUR LOVELY #REATIVE 7RITING PROSE

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#ONTRIBUTORS 3ARAH #HRISTIE 3TEPH -CKENNA 2OB -ORBIN *ACK 0ITT

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#OMPETITIONS

#ONTRIBUTORS 0AUL (EATH 4OM (UNT

!NDY *ONES *ENNA 7HYSALL

46 %DITOR *AMES "ILLINGS

&ASHION %DITOR !LANNAH 7ELLS

#ONTRIBUTORS ,INDSAY (ARRIS *OHN (EATH +IF (USSEIN +IRSTEN 0ETER

2ACHAEL 0RICE

$EPUTY &ASHION 3ARAH (EAD (ANNAH 4AYLOR

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#ONTRIBUTORS -ATTHEW *OY .ICOLA 7ATSON

*AKE 7ILCZYNSKI &LORA 7ONG

#ONTRIBUTOR 0AUL "YGRAVE +ARL $AVIES

P #ROSSWORD 3UDOKU AND A 0RIZE 1UIZ

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! 3INGLE 'IRL S 'UIDE TO WHAT TO WEAR ON 6ALENTINE S $AY $ON T WEAR YOUR HEART ON YOUR SLEEVE

) THINK THE ONLY TIME A BOY HAS REMEMBERED AN OUTl T ) WAS WEARING AND ACTIVELY TOLD ME SO WAS ONE 6ALENTINE S $AY ) WAS WEARING JEANS A BLACK TANK TOP AND A RED POLKA DOT SHORT SLEEVED CARDIGAN WITH HEART SHAPE BUTTONS FOR SOMETHING SIMILAR GO TO BOOHOO COM ) WAS SINGLE AND ON A GIRLS NIGHT OUT TRYING TO FORGET THAT IT WAS THE DREADED 6ALENTINE S $AY AND THAT WE WERE MAN LESS THAT BOY LATER BECAME MY BOYFRIEND 3O THIS LED ME TO THINK ABOUT 6ALENTINE S $AY WHAT IT MEANS FASHION WISE TO BE SINGLE ON SUCH A DAY AND WHAT THE IMPACT OF ONE OUTl T ON THAT DAY CAN BE 4HIS YEAR IF YOU DO NOT HAVE A BOYFRIEND OR EVEN IF YOU DO AND FANCY GOING SOLO FOR THE NIGHT GET TOGETHER WITH A GROUP OF FRIENDS GET DRESSED UP USING SOME OF THE IDEAS BELOW AND HAVE AN AMAZING LOVE l LLED NIGHT 2ED IS OF COURSE THE COLOUR MOST ASSOCIATED WITH @6 DAY -OST PEOPLE CAN T RE ALLY PULL OFF AN OUTl T OF BLOCK RED SO WHY NOT GO FOR A PAIR OF PATENT RED HEELS LIKE THE ONES FROM -ARKS AND 3PENCER FOR ONLY a 0UT THESE WITH A BASIC BLACK DRESS OR JEANS AND VOILÌ YOU ARE EFFORTLESSLY DRESSED @6 DAY STYLE )N KEEPING WITH THE RED THEME BE BRAVE AND TRY A RED LIPSTICK IT WILL INSTANTLY MAKE YOU LOOK MADE UP BUT

WITH REALLY VERY LITTLE EFFORT -AKE SURE YOU CHOOSE A MATT ONE AND DON T GLOSS IT UP YOU LL GO FROM SOPHISTICATED TO CHEAP IN A SWIPE OF THE STICK (EARTS ARE ANOTHER THING INSTANTLY RECOGNISABLE AS @6 DAY FASHION )F YOU WANT SOMETHING A LITTLE LESS OBVIOUS THIS SEASON S MUST HAVE STAR PRINT IS ANOTHER OPTION )NSTEAD OF SAYING h) M SINGLE AND LOOKING FOR LOVEv LIKE HEARTS DO IT SAYS h) M SINGLE AND YES ) M A STARv +ATE @PRETTY MUCH SINGLE -OSS DECKED HERSELF ALL OUT IN STAR PRINT COURTESY OF #HANEL FOR HER MOST RECENT BIRTHDAY 3O IF SHE WORE IT WHY CAN T YOU .EW ,OOK DO A GREAT STAR PRINT DRESS FOR a AS DO 4OPSHOP /NCE YOUR OUTl T IS SORTED WHY NOT TRY SOMETHING A LITTLE DIFFERENT WITH YOUR HAIR TO STAND OUT FROM THE SEA OF OTHER SINGLE GIRLS BECAUSE LET S FACE IT THERE SEEM TO BE A LOT MORE GIRLS IN .ORWICH THAN MEN !TTEMPT A BEEHIVE Ì LA 7INEHOUSE YOU COULD DO A HALF BEEHIVE FOR SOMETHING LESS DRAMATIC BUT EQUALLY @THIS SEASON 4O ACHIEVE THIS START BY BACKCOMBING THE FRONT SECTION SO YOU GET LOTS OF VOLUME AND HEIGHT AT THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD THEN GATHER IT INTO A HALF PONYTAIL AND REMEMBER TO SMOOTH DOWN THE TOP LAYER OF HAIR SO IT LOOKS NEAT 4O MAKE YOURSELF FEEL EXTRA GLAMOROUS TRY FALSE EYELASHES AND SPEND THE REST OF THE NIGHT m UTTERING THEM AT POTENTIAL PREY

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LINGERIE LOOKS WERE SCATTERED ACROSS THE 3PRING 3UMMER COLL TECTIONS WITH SATIN HIGH WAISTED SHORTS AND SILK BRA AT !LES SANDRO $ELL !CQUA AND SOFT CANDY COL OURED BLAZER SETS AT 3TELLA -C#ARTNEY

6

ALENTINE S DAY IS UPON US ONCE AGAIN AND TO @CELEBRATE@ WE DECIDED THAT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO TAKE TWO FASHION CONSCIOUS INDIVIDUALS AND GET THEM TO DRESS UP IN DATE ATTIRE /NE GIRL ONE BOY AND A SHOP FULL OF GORGEOUS CLOTHES FROM THIS SEASON S NEW COLLECTION %ACH OF THEM CHOSE WHAT THEY FELT WAS AP PROPRIATE FOR A DINNER DATE AND THEN THEY SWAPPED OVER AND CHOSE AN OUTl T THAT THEY WOULD LIKE TO SEE THE OTHER IN (ERE ARE THE RESULTS !LANNAH 7ELLS

4HE @LOOK OF LOVE

-ODELS .ICOLA 7ATSON *AKE 7ILCZYNSKI 0HOTOGRAPHY -ATTHEW *OY

0OLKA DOT SHIRT a ;*OY SALE= 2ED SCOOP NECK JUMPER a ;*OY= 3TRAIGHT LEGGED JEANS a ;*OY SALE= 3HOES MODEL S OWN

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.ICOLA CHOSE FOR HERSELF

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#LOTH AND #ULTURE ./7 4HE MAJOR NEW EXHIBITION AT THE 3AINSBURY #ENTRE FOR 6ISUAL !RT IS A FANTASTIC EXPLORATION OF CONTEMPORARY TEXTILES ARTISTS FROM THE 5+ *APAN %STONIA

&INLAND ,ATVIA AND ,ITHUANIA ALL OF WHOM ARE EXPERT IN THE VIBRANT TEXTILE TRADITIONS OF THESE NATIONS HAVE COME TOGETHER FOR AN EXHIBITION WHICH TAKES THESE TRADITIONAL PRACTISES AND BRINGS THEM BANG UP TO DATE 0ART OF THE RESEARCH PROJECT 4RANSITION AND )Nm UENCE CURRENTLY BEING UNDERTAKEN BY 0ROFESSOR ,ESLIE -ILLAR OF THE 5NIVERSITY #OLLEGE OF THE #REATIVE !RTS THE SHOW HAS BEEN CURATED FOR THE 3#6! BY 0ROFESSOR -ILLAR AND FEATURES ALMOST ALL NEW WORKS

BY ARTISTS INVOLVED IN THE PROJECT #LOTH AND #ULTURE ./7 AIMS TO EMBRACE THE TRADITIONS OF THE PAST IN ORDER TO COMMENT ON THE PRESENT AND FUTURE BOTH OF THESE TRADITIONS AND OF THE CULTURES THEY INHABIT )T IS DESIGNED TO BE BOTH A CELEBRATION OF THE UNCHANGING PAST AND

3T 'REGORY S

.ORWICH #HURCH 4OWN 4HE AMOUNT OF CHURCHES CONTAINED WITHIN OUR l NE CITY OF .ORWICH CANNOT HAVE FAILED TO CATCH YOUR ATTENTION SEEING AS ONE CAN BE FOUND ALMOST AROUND EVERY CORNER !FTER ALL

AS ) WAS EXCITEDLY TOLD BY SOMEONE IN MY l RST YEAR .ORWICH WAS ONCE THE CENTRE OF #HRISTI ANITY IN %NGLAND SECOND ONLY TO ,ONDON "UT ARE THEY ALL BEING USED FOR RELIGIOUS PURPOSES 7E SET OUT TO EXPLORE A FEW TO SEE WHAT WE COULD l ND 7E BEGAN WITH THE CHURCH OF 3T 'REGO RY S A RENOWNED CENTRE FOR THE ARTS IN 0OT TERGATE RIGHT NEXT TO 4HE "IRDCAGE 4HIS IS USED TO HOST VARIOUS CREATIVE AND INTERESTING EVENTS /N 3ATURDAYS THERE ARE ALL MANNER OF STALLS DISPLAYING THEIR WARES INCLUDING VINTAGE CLOTHING SECOND HAND BOOKS GREETINGS CARDS AND ANTIQUE JEWELLERY NOT TO MENTIONED THE FACT THAT TEA AND TOAST CAN BE PURCHASED FOR A STUDENT FRIENDLY a ALWAYS WELCOME ON A SNOWY MORNING 4HE BUILDING ITSELF IS WORTH YOUR SLIGHTLY AWESTRUCK GAZE WITH A SPECTACU LAR STAINED GLASS WINDOW AND ORIGINAL FEATURES SUCH AS THE ORGAN AND FONT )T S OPEN EVERY DAY EXCEPT 3UNDAYS AND -ONDAYS AND YOU ARE MISSING OUT IF YOU DON T TAKE A GANDER ON 3ATURDAYS IN PARTICULAR /UR SEARCH OR PERHAPS AT THIS POINT IT HAD BECOME A QUEST THEN TOOK US DOWN ONTO 3T "ENEDICT S 3TREET PERHAPS ONE OF THE MOST IN TERESTING STREETS IN .ORWICH 4HE HAPPY HOME TO EVERYTHING FROM CHARITY SHOPS TO GREEN GROCERS RESTAURANTS TO HAIRDRESSERS )T IS ALSO HOME TO THE BIG DADDY OF CONVERTED CHURCHES IN .ORWICH THE RATHER FABULOUS .ORWICH !RTS #ENTRE )F YOU HAVEN T MADE YOUR WAY DOWN THERE YET YOUR .ORWICH EXPERIENCE IS NOWHERE

NEAR COMPLETION .ORWICH !RTS #ENTRE HOSTS ALL MANNER OF ACTS FROM COMEDIAN *OSIE ,ONG

PERFORMANCE POET ,UKE 7RIGHT AND UP AND COMING BAND &OALS )T IS ALSO A WELCOME ARENA FOR LOCAL BANDS AND MUSICIANS #URRENTLY IN THE SPACIOUS RECEPTION AREA IS A PHOTOGRAPHIC EXHIBITION BY 4RISTAN "URl ELD THAT hEXPLORES THE EXTERNAL DEPTH OF THE PHOTOGRAPHIC CAN VASv AND IN ORDER TO APPRECIATE THEM FULLY IT IS NECESSARY TO DON A NIFTY PAIR OF $ GLASSES 7HICH IS ALWAYS FUN IN OUR OPINION 4HERE IS A LOVELY BAR AREA WHERE A PINT OF REAL ALE CAN BE BOUGHT FOR a AND MANY AN ARTISTIC DIS CUSSION CAN BE HAD 3T "ENEDICT S 3TREET IS HOME TO ANOTHER CHURCH BEING USED FOR PURPOSES OF THE ARTS 3T -ARGARET S #HURCH OF !RTS )NSIDE THEY HOST A VARIETY OF EXHIBITIONS FROM LOCAL ARTISTS AND IT IS A GREAT SPACE TO WANDER ABOUT AND CHECK OUT SOME HOME GROWN TALENT /N 3T 'EORGE S 3TREET THE SAME ONE UPON WHICH THE .ORWICH 0LAYHOUSE IS LOCATED YOU CAN l ND 3T !NDREW S AND "LACKFRAIRS (ALLS

WHICH WERE BUILT OVER YEARS AGO AND WERE ONCE HOME TO THE $OMINICAN FRIARS .OW YOU CAN ATTEND A COLLECTORS FAIR EVERY 7EDNESDAY FROM PM WITH FURTHER STALLS IN THE #LOIS TERS ON A 3ATURDAY 6INTAGE JEWELLERY EMBROI DERY SECOND HAND BOOKS COMICS POTTERY

FURNITURE THIS PLACE A HAVEN FOR ALL KINDS OF COLLECTOR WITH FRIENDLY STALL HOLDERS WILLING TO TALK ABOUT THEIR ITEMS 3O IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE PASSING ONE OF .ORWICH S MANY CHURCHES TAKE A LOOK INSIDE IF YOU CAN 9OU MIGHT l ND SOMETHING THAT YOU DIDN T EXPECT %LSIE +ING

TRANSIENCE AND DELICACY WHICH ARE SO IMPORTANT TO THE *APANESE AESTHETIC !

PIECE BY $ZINDRA 6ILKS CALLED @-EETING OF THE 7ORLD 4ORN 7INDS WILL BE ADDED TO

THROUGHOUT THE EXHIBITION AND EXPECTED TO DOUBLE IN SIZE "OTH &INNISH AND *APANESE ARTISTS EXPLORE CULTURAL PREOCCUPATIONS OF LIGHT AND LANDSCAPE AND THE "ALTIC STATE PARTICIPANTS ADDRESS AMONG OTHER THINGS

THE ROLE OF TEXTILES UNDER 3OVIET OCCUPATION

A MEDIA DISMISSED AS @DECORATIVE ARTS AND THEREFORE FREE FROM THE MANY CONSTRAINTS PLACED ON ABSTRACT ART AND ABLE TO MAKE SUBVERSIVE POLITICAL COMMENTS )N CONTRAST

"RITISH PARTICIPANTS ENGAGE WITH THE CENTRAL ROLE TEXTILES PLAYED IN THE )NDUSTRIAL 2EVOLUTION 7ORKS ARE GROUPED BY VISUAL RELATIONSHIP RATHER THAN NATIONAL IDENTITY

WHICH HELPS TO STRENGTHEN THE FEELING OF DIALOGUE BETWEEN THE DIFFERING CULTURAL TRADITIONS

THE EPHEMERAL PRESENT )T IS BOTH A JOURNEY AND A MOMENT IN TIME ./7 4HE WORKS ARE CONSEQUENTLY MULTIMEDIA TACTILE AND WILDLY DIFFERENT EMBRACING MOVEMENT

TRANSIENCE AND INNOVATION -ATERIALS AND TRADITIONS ARE JUXTAPOSED IN NEW WAYS TAPESTRIES MADE FROM BIN BAGS OR WOVEN FROM STONE CLOTH MADE FROM l BRE OPTICS ON A SPECIALLY DEVELOPED HYDRAULIC LOOM ENTIRELY INNOVATIVE MATERIALS MADE IN COLLABORATION WITH THE 7ILLIAM ,EE )NNOVATION #ENTRE AND DISPLAYED UNDER MICROSCOPES LIKE RARE CRYSTALS "UTTONS ARRANGED IN THE SHAPE OF LEAVES BY -ITZUO 4OYAZAKI ARE LAID LOOSELY ON THE m OOR INDICATIVE OF THE IDEAS OF 4HE SHOW IS A VISUAL DELIGHT EACH WORK UNIQUE AND CHALLENGING EXPLORING IDEAS AND TRADITIONS THAT WILL BE NEW TO MANY

AND FEATURING MANY ARTISTS MAKING THEIR DEBUT TO THE 5+ %VEN FOR SOMEONE WITH NO INTEREST IN TEXTILES IT IS AN EXCITING AND INNOVATIVE EXPERIENCE AND BEING FREE TO 5%! STAFF AND STUDENTS WELL WORTH A LOOK !MY ,OWE

*OSEPH $ ,ACEY -EAT /UT 4HURSDAY ST &EBRUARY #OME AND HEAR $ ,ACEY TALK ABOUT THE BLOODY INSPIRATION FOR HIS NEW NOVEL AND JOIN THE DEBATE ABOUT FACTORY FARMING &RIDAY ND &EBRUARY #ONGREGATION (ALL PM

4HE &IVE STAR "ESTSELLERS 4HE +ITE 2UNNER BY +HALED (OSSEINI 4HE +ITE 2UNNER BY +HALED (OSSEINI

4HE "OOK 4HIEF BY

)NITIALLY ) DECIDED TO REVIEW THE BOOK BECAUSE ) HAD WATCHED THE MOVIE REMAKE OF IT 3O

PICKING IT UP WITH PRECONCEPTIONS AT THE READY ) PLUNGED STRAIGHT IN WHILST WAITING FOR A FRIEND TO TURN UP TO MEET ME TO ATTEND A PUBLIC LECTURE ABOUT THE 0OWER OF #OMMU NITY IN #UBA WHICH WAS VERY INTERESTING TOO ) MUST SAY ) OPENED THE BOOK AND IT SURPRISED ME BECAUSE IT STARTED VERY WELL STRAIGHT INTO THE PLOT A SHORT AND SNAPPY l RST CHAPTER

BRIEm Y DISCUSSING WHAT WAS ABOUT TO UNFOLD WITHOUT GIVING TOO MUCH AWAY (OS (OSSEINI S KNACK FOR TELLING A STORY CLEARLY AND SUCCINCTLY WAS EVIDENT FROM THE l RST PAGE )T GRABBED MY INTEREST STRAIGHT AWAY THERE WERE NO INSIGNIl CANT PRE PLOT EXPLANATIONS OF THINGS WHICH ONLY BEAR RELEVANCE IN THE LATER STAGES OF THE NOVEL )F YOU ARE THE KIND OF PERSON WHO IS PUT OFF A BOOK IF IT IS NOT INTERESTING STRAIGHT AWAY THIS IS THE BOOK FOR YOU AWAY THIS 4HE EVENTS PLAYED OUT ARE GIVEN LIKE A PER

-ARKUS :USAK %LIE 7IESEL WAS ONCE QUOTED AS SAYING THAT HE HAD WRITTEN THE DEl NITIVE STORY OF THE (OLO HAD WRITTEN THE DEl NITIVE STORY OF THE (OLO CAUST (IS HAUNTING BOOKS DID REVOLUTIONIZE THE l ELD BUT YEARS LATER !USTRALIAN WRITER -ARKUS :USAK HAS COME ALONG TO BLOW TO BITS ANY PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS ABOUT WHAT A BOOK SET IN 77)) 'ERMANY SHOULD BE :USAK S 4HE "OOK 4HIEF SHOWS THE BUILD UP TO AND EVENTUAL START OF 77)) THROUGH THE EYES OF $EATH A BENEVO LENT WORLD WEARY l GURE THAT ADDS A DOSE OF LEVITY TO WHAT COULD BE A VERY DEPRESSING STORY 4HAT STORY IS THE STORY OF ,IESEL THE BOOK THIEF A YOUNG GIRL WHO IS LEFT WITH FOSTER PAR ENTS TO SAVE HER FROM THE CONCENTRATION CAMPS THAT AWAIT HER CHRONICALLY ILL MOTHER AND COM MUNIST FATHER 4HE BOOK IS STUNNING IN ITS PORTRAYAL OF HOW ORDINARY HUMANITY ACTS IN HORRI BLE TIMES 4HERE IS -AX THE *EWISH l ST l GHTER WHO BLANKS OUT PAGES OF -EIN +AMPF TO TELL HIS OWN STORY !LSO 2UDY ,IESEL S BEST FRIEND WHO DREAMS OF RUNNING LIKE *ESSIE /WENS AND KISS ING THE BOOK THIEF 4HESE CHARACTERS BRING DEPTH HUMANITY AND EVEN HUMOUR TO THE GENERA $ESPITE THE BOOK S IMPOSING PAGES

IT S A QUICK READ AND DESTINED TO SIT ON THE SHELVES WITH THE LITERARY GREATS 4ERI +AROBONIK

4HE 2OAD BY #ORMAC -C#ARTHY -C#ARTHY S 0ULITZER 0RIZE WINNING NOVEL DEPICTS A POST !POCALYPTIC EARTH SMOTHERED IN ASH WHERE NO PLANTS GROW OR ANIMALS LIVE !

FATHER AND SON STRUGGLE TO SURVIVE IN THIS WORLD AS THEY TRAVEL SOUTHWARDS DOWN THE ABANDONED HIGHWAYS OF !MERICA /N THE ROAD THEY FACE STARVATION MARAUDING BANDS OF CANNIBALS AND THE FEAR OF LIVING IN A GODLESS LAND -C#ARTHY S WRITING IS AS SPARSE AS THE WORLD IT DEPICTS THE READER IS TOLD VERY LITTLE OF WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THE EARTH AND NONE OF THE CHARACTERS ARE EVER NAMED (OWEVER THE PARED DOWN PROSE GIVES A GREATER IMPACT TO HIS WONDERFUL IMAGERY AND IMBUES THE TALES OF HARDSHIP WITH A RAWER REALER EDGE &OR WHAT COULD BE SUCH A READY FOR (OLLYWOOD NOVEL n FATHER AND SON BRAVING A POST !POCALYPTIC WORLD n THE AUTHOR S ESCHEWING OF THE TRITE OR CONTRIVED IS EVEN MORE COMMENDABLE 4HE ONLY FALTER AWAY FROM THIS COMES AT THE NOVEL S CONCLUSION LEAVING THE READER WITH A WORSE TASTE IN THEIR MOUTH THAN THIS OTHERWISE REMARKABLE BOOK DESERVES 9ET ASIDE FROM THIS -C#ARTHY S IS A BRAVE AND ALMOST NEVER SENSATIONALIZED VISION )T IS AN ECOLOGICAL FABLE WITHOUT l NGER POINTING A WORK OF PHILOSOPHY

THAT ARISES ORGANICALLY FROM THE HARSH REALITY OF A FAMILY S STRUGGLE TO SURVIVE AND A GREAT NOVEL

BY ONE OF OUR l NEST LIVING AUTHORS 3ARAH #HRISTIE

SONAL ACCOUNT 4HE DAY TO DAY LIVING OF UPPER CLASS !FGHANISTANI S LIFESTYLES AND THE KNOWL EDGE ) HAVE GAINED ABOUT THE CLASS SYSTEM AND WAY OF LIFE BEFORE !FGHANISTAN WAS INVADED BY THE 2USSIANS IS INDISPENSABLE (OSSEINI S ABIL ITY TO CONVEY THIS WELL THROUGH THE EYES OF A CHILD WAS INCREDIBLY GOOD 4HE STORY IN MY OPINION IS A GOOD ONE

INVOLVING RAPE FRIENDSHIP BETRAYAL FATHERLY LOVE AND THE POIGNANCY OF MEMORIES ) COULD NOT PUT THE BOOK DOWN SO ) READ IT IN ONE

WHICH IS RARE FOR ME !S QUOTED BY THE $AILY 4ELEGRAPH IT S A hDEVASTATING MASTERFUL AND PAINFULLY HONEST STORY v )T IS A PRIVILEGE TO HAVE BEEN ALLOWED TO SEE INTO THIS VERY STRANGE AND PERSONAL WORLD WITH SO MUCH TRUTH AND IN TENSITY !ND IT ONLY TAKES ABOUT SEVEN HOURS TO READ ) ALSO RECOMMEND THE MOVIE WHICH HAS REALLY DONE JUSTICE TO THE BOOK ) LOOK BACK WITH FOND MEMORIES (APPY READING 3Ul YA 3HAHNAWAZ

5NI "ANDS 7HITE 7ATER &ACEBOOK 'ROUP OF THE

&ORTNIGHT /N -AY TH

7HITE 7ATER VOCALIST #HRIS FONDLY DESCRIBES A SHAMBOLIC SERIES OF TECHNICAL MISFORTUNES IN WHICH l RST THE SNARE THEN THE BASS AND THEN THE GUITAR GAVE OUT DURING A PERFORM ANCE h7E PULLED THROUGH THOUGH v HE SAYS

h) THINK WE HAD THE AUDIENCE S SYMPATHY AS THEY GAVE US A HUGE CHEER WHEN WE GOT IT ALL BACK TOGETHER FOR THE SECOND SONG v 9OU WOULDN T EXPECT MUCH FROM A BAND THAT CAN T EVEN KEEP ITS INSTRUMENTS IN ONE PIECE HOWEVER A LOOK AROUND THE WEBSITE OF THE THREE PIECE ALT ROCK GROUP PROVES THAT THEY ARE WORTH CHECKING OUT )Nm UENCED BY $OORS $OWN 3NOW 0A TROL AND THE 'OO 'OO $OLLS AMONGST OTHERS

7HITE 7ATER SAYS OF THEIR SONGS h7E TAKE A LOT OF TIME SORTING OUR MUSIC OUT WE DON T JUST THROW IT ALL TOGETHER AND HOPE FOR THE BEST 7E LIKE TO THINK THAT THE SONGS MEAN SOMETHING v

#HRIS AND THE OTHER TWO STEEDS OF 0OSEI DON *EZ AND !NDY HAVE BEEN PLAYING MUSIC UNDER THE 7HITE 7ATER MONIKER SINCE 7HEN ASKED OF THEIR SUCCESSES SO FAR #HRIS SAYS h7E VE HAD A FEW GREAT GIGS AND WE TRY AND PLAY AS MANY AS POSSIBLE BUT PLAYING THE 3ECKFORD 4HEATRE WAS A PRETTY MEMO RABLE ONE IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL NEW THEATRE WHICH WAS PACKED OUT FOR THE NIGHT IT WAS IMMENSE v 4HE BAND WILL NEXT BE PLAYING IN 4HE -ARQUEE ON 4HURSDAY -ARCH 5NTIL THEN

CHECK THEM OUT AT WWW MYSPACE COM WHITEWATERMUSIC 0AUL (EATH

3IX $EGREES OF 3EPARATION *OSHUA *ACKSON

EVERYONE NEEDS TO PANIC BUY CARROTS )F YOU LIKE CARROTS THIS IS THE &ACEBOOK GROUP FOR YOU 3TARTED AS A DRUNKEN JOKE IN *ANUARY

THE GROUP h/N -AY TH EVERYBODY NEEDS TO GO OUT AND PANIC BUY #!22/43v QUICKLY CAPTURED THE IMAGINATIONS OF THOU SANDS ACROSS THE WORLD AND NOW WITH OVER

MEMBERS LOOKS SET TO CAUSE A CON SIDERABLE DENT TO THE INDUSTRY COME -AY !CCORDING TO THE FOUNDER &REYA 6ALEN TINE THE PLAN IS FOR THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE TO STORM SHOPS ON TH -AY AND BUY ARMLOADS OF CARROTS DEPLETING STORE SUPPLIES AND CAUS ING A NATIONAL CARROT SHORTAGE 4HE CARROTS WILL THEN BE TURNED INTO CARROT SOUP AND HANDED OUT TO FEED THE POOR ACROSS "RITAIN S CITIES 4HE SOARING MEMBERSHIP OF THE GROUP HAS GAINED THE ATTENTION OF THE MASS ME DIA WITH A REPORT EVEN APPEARING ON THE 3KY .EWS WEBSITE AT THE END OF LAST MONTH 7ITH AN AVERAGE OF MEMBERS JOINING PER DAY CONCERN IS BEING RAISED BY SOME THAT A SERIOUS SHORTAGE OF CRUNCHY CARROTS WILL BE CREATED FOR NO REAL REASON AND ARE CALLING THE GROUP S INTENDED ACTIONS IRRESPONSIBLE )N FACT AN OPPOSITION GROUP HAS BEEN SET UP

TELLING PEOPLE h$O NOT ADD TO WORLD HUN GER DO NOT PANIC BUY CARROTSv )T CALLS FOR AC TION TO PREVENT THE STRIPPING OF CARROTS FROM

OUR SHELVES WARNING PEOPLE TO BE WARY OF SUSPICIOUSLY CARROT LADEN SHOPPERS AND TO QUESTION THEM ON WHETHER THEY REALLY NEED THAT MANY )F ALL ELSE FAILS THE GROUP SAYS

hYOU MAY WANT TO FORCIBLY INSERT SAID CARROTS INTO ANY OF THE CULPRIT S MORE VULNERABLE ORIl CES v (OWEVER THE ANTI MOVEMENT JUST DOESN T HAVE THE SAME MOMENTUM AND HAS ONLY ATTRACTED A CARROT CARING MEMBERS THUS FAR 3O 4HE %VENT S ADVICE TO YOU THIS WEEK IF YOU RE BUYING CARROTS IN -AY DON T LEAVE IT TO THE TH 4OM (UNT

MEDIABOWL II WHERE LEGENDS ARE MADE

#O STARRED IN THE WEREWOLF THEMED HORROR l LM #URSED WITH

#HRISTINA 2ICCI 7HO AUDITIONED FOR A ROLE IN THE l LM 'ANGS OF .EW 9ORK THAT WAS DIRECTED BY

-ARTIN 3CORSESE 7HO VOICED THE CHARACTER OF AN ANIMATED l SH IN 3HARK 4ALE ALONG WITH

2ENÏE :ELLWEGER 7HO WHEN DELIVERING HER /SCAR ACCEPTANCE SPEECH FOR "EST !CTRESS IN A 3UPPORTING 2OLE IN PERSONALLY THANKED

4OM #RUISE 7HO LAST YEAR MARRIED AND CONVERTED TO SCIENTOLOGY

+ATIE (OLMES 7HO FOR SIX YEARS STARRED IN THE HIT TEEN ANGST PRO GRAMME $AWSON S #REEK WITH

*OSHUA *ACKSON *ENNA 7HYSALL

WEEK FIVE SEES THE BIGGEST EVENT OF THE UEA CALENDAR AS THE THREE MEDIA SOCIETIES GO HEAD TO HEAD IN THE MEDIABOWL KICKING OFF THIS FRIDAY WITH THE BIG PUB QUIZ BLUE BAR REGISTRATION 7.30 PM (FREE + OPEN TO ALL)

-IGHTY "OOSH VS &LIGHT OF THE #ONCHORDS 4HE WORLD OF 3URREALISM IS NOT FOR EVERYONE BUT TO MANY STUDENTS IT IS THE HEIGHT OF OFF THE WALL COMEDY +IF (USSEIN AND *ONATHAN (EATH DELVE INTO THE MURKY WORLD OF THESE WEIRDEST OF SHOWS

7

HAT THE HELL IS 4HE -IGHTY "OOSH &ORGIVE THIS SOMEWHAT DIRECT OUT BURST BUT IF YOU VE EVER SEEN THE SHOW IT S PROBABLY A QUESTION YOU VE ASKED TOO %ASILY ESCAPING ANY SORT OF CONCRETE CLAS SIlCATION 4HE -IGHTY "OOSH IS THE PIONEER NO

THE +ING OF SURREAL HUMOUR *UST WHAT IS IT THAT MAKES THIS ODD ODD COMEDY SO HILARIOUS 4HE SHOW ACTUALLY EXISTED IN STAGE SHOW AND RADIO FORMATS BEFORE IT MADE THE TRANSI TION TO THE BOX IN !T A SIMPLISTIC LEVEL

4HE -IGHTY "OOSH IS ABOUT THE MAGICAL ADVEN TURES EXPERIENCED BY THE SHOW S TWO PROTAGO NISTS 6INCE .OIR AND (OWARD -OON PLAYED BY .OEL &IELDING AND *ULIAN "ARRATT RESPECTIVELY 9ET EVEN THIS SUMMARY BARELY SCRATCHES THE SUR FACE OF THE COMICAL DELIGHTS TO BE FOUND WITHIN THE SHOW 7ANT AN EXAMPLE 4AKE THE CHARACTER OF "OLLO AN ANTHROPOMORPHIC APE WHO WILL GUARANTEE A SNIGGER OUT OF EVEN THE MOST CYNI CAL VIEWER n UNLESS OF COURSE THEY RE MADE OF

&

ORMERLY .EW :EALAND S FOURTH MOST POPULAR GUITAR BASED DIGI BONGO ACAPEL LA RAP FUNK COMEDY DUO 4HIS IS THE DESCRIPTION OF &LIGHT OF THE #ONCHORDS PENNED BY *EMAINE #LEMENT AND "RETT -CKENZIE THE MAIN PROTAGONISTS OF THE SHOW 4HE DUO S PATH TO SCREENDOM IS MUCH THE SAME AS THE "OOSH IN THAT THEY STARTED OUT WITH STAND UP

MOVED ONTO A ""# RADIO SHOW AND THEN WERE GIVEN A TELEVISION CONTRACT -USIC IS THE BASIS FOR MUCH OF THE #ONCHORD S COMEDY COVERING MANY GENRES AND SPOOlNG MANY FAMOUS ART ISTS SUCH AS "OWIE WHILST WITTY OBSERVATIONS ABOUT NORMAL LIFE ALSO PLAY A KEY ROLE 4HE LIGHT HEARTEDNESS OF #ONCHORDS IN INCREDIBLY REFRESHING AND SETS IT APART PARTICULARLY IN THE 46 SERIES WHICH SEES *EMAINE AND "RETT LIVING IN .EW 9ORK TRYING TO GET GIGS WITH THEIR HAP LESS MANAGER -URRAY AND ONE PSYCHOTIC FAN -EL 4HE SENSE OF BEWILDERMENT ABOUT LIFE

STONE 4RY STOPPING YOURSELF FROM CRACKING UP THE lRST TIME YOU HEAR HIM SAY HIS CATCHPHRASE h) VE GOT A BAD FEELING ABOUT THISxv ,ITERALLY COMPRISED OF A WIDE AND VARYING RANGE OF NUT TY SUPPORTING CHARACTERS THE SHOW S BOUND TO HAVE AT LEAST ONE THAT WILL ENSURE YOUR FUNNY BONE IS CATERED FOR 4HE TRULY BIZARRE ORIGINS OF SOME OF THE CHARACTERS FURTHER ILLUSTRATE THE WARPED CREA TIVITY AND BOUNDLESS IMAGINATION ON DISPLAY .O CHARACTER FROM THE SHOW BETTER EXEMPLIlES THIS THAN THE APTLY TITLED @.ABOO THE %NIGMA "ORN IN THE TH CENTURY .ABOO WAS RAISED ON THE lCTIONAL PLANET OF 8OOBERON ! DRUG DEALER AND USER HE NOW RESIDES WITHIN A mAT IN $AL STON IN ,ONDON AND ALSO OWNS HIS OWN SHOP

THE @.ABOOTIQUE WHERE THE SHOW S THIRD SERIES TAKES PLACE $OES IT MAKE SENSE .O "UT IS IT FUNNY 9OU BET IT IS )T S RANDOM AND AT TIMES FAR FETCHED AND FANTASTICAL BUT THERE IS AN AL LURE ABOUT THE SHOW THAT IS DIFlCULT TO OVER LOOK AS YOU RE DRAWN BY ITS MOMENTS OF GIGGLE INDUCING GENIUS )F YOU VE ONLY JUST HEARD OF THE SHOW YOU HAVEN T MISSED OUT /NE OF THE GREAT TRAITS OF 4HE -IGHTY "OOSH IS THE LACK OF CONTINUITY FROM EPISODE TO EPISODE 4HIS MEANS THAT YOU CAN WATCH THE PROGRAMME WITHOUT ANY PRIOR KNOWLEDGE OF STORYLINES AND CHARACTERS AND THE JOKES WILL STILL COME THICK AND FAST /DDI TIES SUCH AS @CRIMPING RANDOM SONGS INTER

JECTED IN THE PROGRAMME THAT STRAY OFF TOPIC MAKE SURE NEW VIEWERS WILL BE AMUSED EVEN IF THEY RE UNAWARE OF PRIOR SHENANIGANS THAT HAVE HAPPENED IN THE SHOW )T COULD HAVE FALLEN mAT ON ITS FACE 4HE SHEER WACKINESS OF THE SHOW S CONTENT MAY HAVE BEEN A SUCCESS ON THE STAGE AND RADIO BUT THIS DIDN T NECESSARILY GUARANTEE SUCCESS ON THE 46 "UT THE DUO OF &IELDING AND "ARRATT PULLED IT OFF AND HOW 'AINING DESERVED CRITICAL AC CLAIM INCLUDING A "!&4! AWARD NOMINATION IN THE SHOW HAS EVEN SPREAD TO AN IN TERNATIONAL AUDIENCE WITH !MERICA VARIOUS

COUNTRIES IN %UROPE AND .EW :EALAND AMONG THE TERRITORIES WHERE IT S BEEN SHOWN 7HY IS IT SO HILARIOUS THEN 3IMPLE BE CAUSE IT S IMAGINATION GONE WILD AND THE @RULE BOOK WHATEVER THAT MAY BE HAS BEEN DIS REGARDED #ATEGORIZING 4HE -IGHTY "OOSH IS A WASTE OF TIME )T IS QUITE FRANKLY A SHOW THAT ELUDES ANY SORT OF LABELLING )T IS AN ABSURD

HAPHAZARD AND ULTIMATELY LOONY UNIVERSE YOU SIMPLY HAVE TO SEE IT TO BELIEVE IT 4HE SHOW S UNIQUENESS IS THE VERY THING THAT MAKES IT UNIQUE n THERE REALLY ISN T ANYTHING ELSE QUITE LIKE IT ! DElNITE COMIC CLASSIC

IN THE BIG CITY FOR BOTH OF THEM IS ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS TO WATCH AS THEY BREAK DOWN ALL AS PECTS OF SOCIAL LIFE SUCH AS HOW TO LOOK COOL AT A PARTY BY STANDING ON YOUR OWN AND LOOK ING LONELY WHILST CUTTING TO A SONG ABOUT hTHE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THE WHOLE WIDE ROOMv 4HEY LOOK AND ACT LIKE SIMPLETONS A LOT OF THE TIME WHICH IS DONE SO WELL THEY MAKE IT SEEM AS IF .EW :EALAND IS ANOTHER PLANET COMPARED TO .EW 9ORK 4HE STYLE OF BOTH *EMAINE AND "RETT ALSO ADDS TO THE HUMOUR OF THE SHOW *E MAINE DRESSING UP LIKE h0RINCExIF HE WAS JUST GOING TO THE LIBRARYv AND "RETT S COLLECTION OF REALLY HORRIBLE BUT UNDENIABLY COOL ANIMAL

FACE JUMPERS CREATES THIS ANTI COOL CHIC THAT WORKS REALLY WELL WITH THE COMEDY !LL OF THE ISSUES AND CONmICTS IN THE SERIES ARE DEALT WITH USING THEIR SONGS WHICH ARE WO VEN INTO THE EPISODES PERFECTLY &OR INSTANCE WHEN THE PAIR GET MUGGED THEY SING A GANGSTA RAP UNDER THE PSEUDONYMS h2HYMENOCEROUS AND (IPHOPAPOTAMOUSv AND WHEN THEY RUN INTO MONEY TROUBLES THEY SING A 0ET 3HOP "OYS INSPIRED TUNE h)NNER #ITY 0RESSUREv 4HIS IS AN OTHER THING THAT SETS #ONCHORDS APART FROM THE "OOSH THE SONGS ARE REALLY CLEVER REALLY FUNNY AND ACTUALLY WORK AS SONGS THEMSELVES )T CAN BE GUARANTEED IF YOU WATCH THE SERIES YOU WILL

PUT THEM ON YOUR I0OD OR JUST CONSTANTLY GO TO 9OU4UBE AND WATCH THE VIDEOS OF THEM PERFORMING ("/ THE !MERICAN NETWORK THAT COMMISSIONED THE SHOW OBVIOUSLY GAVE THEM A NICE BUDGET BECAUSE NOT ONLY ARE THE TWELVE EPISODES SHOT ON LOCATION IN .EW 9ORK BUT WHENEVER THEY BREAK INTO SONG THERE IS USU ALLY SOME MUSIC VIDEO ESQUE CONTEXT WITH ALL SORTS OF DIGITAL WIZARDRY 4HIS IS SOMETHING THE "OOSH COULD NOT HANDLE PARTICULARLY IN THE LATEST SERIES WHERE THEY GOT GIVEN A BIGGER BUDGET AND CHOSE TO SPEND IT ON RUBBISH '#) CRABS AND PUMPED UP HEADS &LIGHT OF THE #ONCHORDS IS SIGNED TO THE LA BEL h3UB 0OPv WHO ALSO MANAGE THE EXCEL LENT #33 AND THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE RELEAS ING A FULL LENGTH ALBUM OF SONGS IN !PRIL OF THIS YEAR 4HEY WERE NOMINATED FOR A 'RAMMY AWARD FOR THEIR PREVIOUS %0 4HE $ISTANT &UTURE 4HE lRST SERIES IS OUT NOW ON $6$ AND APPAR ENTLY THE SECOND SERIES WILL APPEAR THIS YEAR "RETT AND *EMAINE JOKED THAT THEY USED OF THEIR MATERIAL ON THE lRST SERIES WHICH IS NOT ALL BAD CONSIDERING THE "OOSH USED OF THEIR MATERIAL IN THE lRST EPISODE OF THEIR lRST SERIES WITH THAT AWFUL hDON T TOUCH MEv ROUTINE #ONCHORDS IS A COMEDY GEM AND IT IS AN ABSOLUTE CRIME THAT MOST PEOPLE HAVE NOT HEARD OF IT 'O AND WATCH THE CLIPS ON 9OU4UBE FOR A START WE GUARANTEE YOU WILL BE HOOKED #HECK OUT *ENNY (IPHOPAPOTAMOUS VS 2HYMENOCEROUS AND )T S "USINESS 4IME

0RIMETIME 3KINS -ONDAY % PM

5

NLESS YOU WERE HIDING IN AN OBSCURE PART OF !FRICA ON YOUR GAP YEAR LAST YEAR

OR STUCK IN HALLS WITH NO 46 IT WOULD HAVE TO BE A MIRACLE FOR YOU NOT TO HAVE HEARD OF 3KINS %VERY TIME YOU TURNED OVER TO % THE SOUND OF 4HE 'OSSIP S 3TANDING IN THE 7AY OF #ONTROL NOW SYNONYMOUS WITH THE SHOW WOULD ACCOMPANY AN ADVERT OF A WILD AND HEDONISTIC PARTY FULL OF GOOD LOOKING PEOPLE AND THUS THE YOUNG PEOPLE OF "RITAIN WERE INTRIGUED

3OAP 3UDS

(OLLYOAKS

4HIS WEEK SEES FURTHER TORMENT FOR TROUBLED TEEN 3ASHA &RUSTRATED BY BEING TREATED LIKE A KID BY #ALVIN AND ,EO A HEATED ARGU MENT SEES HER MOVE OUT AND INTO CROWDED !MY AND 3TE S WITH &LETCH WHO TRIES TO CON VINCE HER THAT GETTING STONED IS THE ANSWER 4HOUGH SHE SOON REALISES THAT SHE S GONE TOO FAR WHEN SHE AND &LETCH TRY (EROIN LATER IN THE WEEKx 4HERE S LITTLE 7EDDING 6ALENTINES $AY BLISS IN THE AIR AS .ANCY IS lRSTLY STUNNED THAT *AKE IS MORE INTERESTED IN THE 7EDDING THAN #HARLIE S CHEMOTHERAPY %VENTUALLY

AFTER A WEDDING IN THE (OSPITAL #HAPEL

THINGS TAKE A SINISTER TURN AS .ANCY SPURNS *AKES ADVANCES ONLY FOR HIM TO TRY TO USE HIS STRENGTH TO OVERPOWER HER %LSEWHERE +ATY TRIES TO TAKE *USTIN S MIND OFF THE ANNIVERSARY OF "ECCA S DEATH ONLY TO BE CAUGHT IN HER UN DERWEAR BY :AK AND %LLIOT LEADING TO A NEW CRUSH FOR :AK &INALLY IT S THE END OF AN ERA AS /" PREPARES TO LEAVE (OLLYOAKS TO PURSUE HIS DREAMS IN ,ONDON WITH 3UMMER "UT AFTER SPENDING THE DAY REMINISCING -AX AND EN JOYING HIS SURPRISE PARTY IS HE REALLY READY TO LEAVE -AKE SURE YOU HAVE THE TISSUES READY ,ORRAINE 3OUTHGATE

!S IT TRANSPIRED IN THE FOLLOWING WEEKS

3KINS WAS A VERY WATCHABLE SHOW ! COMEDY DRAMA FOLLOWING THE LIVES OF A GROUP OF 3IXTH &ORM STUDENTS IN "RISTOL EACH EPISODE FOLLOWED ONE CHARACTER THE TRIALS OF LOVE AND FAMILY LIFE AND SHENANIGANS THEY GOT UP TO )T NOT ONLY IN TRODUCED US TO A WEALTH OF NEW TALENT IN THE TEEN CAST BUT ALSO USES ESTABLISHED NAMES TOO SUCH AS (ARRY %NlELD AS 4ONY S CONSTANTLY EXASPER ATED DAD )MMENSELY SUCCESSFUL THIS MONTH IT RETURNS FOR A SECOND SERIES ON % 3KINS IS SIGNIlCANT NOT ONLY FOR ITS IMPRES SIVE GROUP OF WRITERS INCLUDING "UZZCOCKS HOST 3IMON !MSTELL BUT ALSO ITS USE OF THE INTERNET AS A MARKETING TOOL 4O TIE IN WITH THE lRST SE RIES EACH CHARACTER HAD THEIR OWN -Y3PACE SITE

COMPLETE WITH PICTURES AND VIDEO BLOGS 4HE CREATORS ALSO OFFERED THEIR VIEWERS THE CHANCE TO DESIGN ADVERTS OR STYLE THE CAST AS WELL AS WELL AS

OFFERING MINI EPISODES OF THE SHOW ONLINE 4HIS SERIES THEY WILL TAKE THINGS ONE STEP FURTHER BY SHOWING THE lRST EPISODE ONLINE IN ITS ENTIRETY BEFORE IT S BROADCAST ON 46 3O A RECAP AT THE END OF LAST SERIES #ASSIE WAS MOVING TO 3COTLAND AWAY FROM 3ID WHO D ONLY JUST WORKED OUT HE LIKED HER WHILE #HRIS WAS LEFT HOMELESS ABANDONED BY BOTH HIS -UM AND THE 0SYCHOLOGY TEACHER HE WAS OB SESSED WITH -ORE TRAGICALLY 4ONY WAS HIT BY A CAR CROSSING THE ROAD LEAVING HIS LIFE HANGING IN THE BALANCE 7HAT HAVE WE GOT TO LOOK FORWARD TO !S MENTIONED IN LAST WEEK S #ONCRETE "ILL "AILEY MAKES AN APPEARANCE AS -AXXIE S DAD AND WE VE BEEN TOLD -ICHELLE GAINS A SCHEMING STEP SISTER #RUCIALLY WE GET TO lND OUT IF 4ONY PULLS THROUGH THOUGH WHETHER MANY VIEWERS WILL CARE AFTER HIS DEPLORABLE ACTIONS LAST SERIES IS DEBATABLEx

3KINS CERTAINLY ISN T WITHOUT ITS mAWS NO ONE REALISTICALLY HAS A FRIENDSHIP GROUP THAT TICKS EVERY DEMOGRAPHIC AND PERSONALITY TYPE

AND SOME PEOPLE ALSO lND IT TRIES A BIT TOO HARD DESPERATELY TRYING TO CLIMB INTO THE UPPER ECH ELONS OF COOL AND FAILING MISERABLY -Y GUESS IS WE RE IN FOR MORE OF THE SAME SO YOUR MIND IS PROBABLY MADE UP FROM WHAT YOU SAW LAST YEAR )F YOU ARE A NEW VIEWER IT MIGHT BE WORTH CATCH ING UP ON /$ 4HEN JUST SIT BACK AND ENJOY THE PARTY

46 #LASSICS 'LADIATORS .EIGHBOURS #ARMELLA IS RUSHED TO HOSPITAL ACCOMPANIED BY -ARCO FOR HER lRST ULTRASOUND AFTER HAV ING PAINS AND IS TOLD THAT SHE IS SUFFERING FROM PLACENTA PLEVIA 7HEN /LIVER ARRIVES HE IS STUCK BY JEALOUSY AND TRIES TO UNDERMINE -ARCO ACCUSING HIM OF BEING MENTALLY DE FECTIVE FOR MOVING IN ON A PREGNANT WOMAN -EANWHILE 6ALDA HAS TROUBLE WITH HER RIS QUÏ INTERNET BUSINESS AND FRAUD IS SUSPECTED %LLE IS TOLD TO lRE EITHER 0AUL OR /LIVER AND SO RESIGNS RATHER THAN CHOOSE BETWEEN THEM )N THE LEAD UP TO 3USAN S TRIAL #HRISTINE DECIDES TO ABANDON 3USAN S CASE AFTER ARGUING WITH 2OSIE 4OADIE SUFFERS FROM A PANIC ATTACK AND IN ORDER TO SAVE 3USAN HE MUST OVERCOME HIS DEMONS 4OADIE AND 3TEPH S RELATIONSHIP ALSO COMES UNDER STRAIN WHEN 4OADIE DISCOV ERS THAT 3TEPH IS DIVORCED AND HASN T TOLD HIM 0EPPER IS UNABLE TO KEEP 2INGO S EATING DISORDER A SECRET ANY LONGER AND TELLS &RAZER .OT KNOWING WHAT TO DO &RAZER TURNS TO 0RUE FOR HELP WITH 2INGO 2INGO SEES AN OP PORTUNITY TO TAKE REVENGE ON 0EPPER BUT ENDS UP LYING FOR HER IN ORDER TO HELP SAVE HER JOB 2ACHAEL 0RICE

h#ONTENDER READY 'LADIATOR READY v 4HAT WAS THE CALL EACH 3ATURDAY EVENING BACK IN

AND EVEN IF THE CONTESTANTS ON THIS HUGELY POPULAR SHOW WEREN T READY WE CER TAINLY WERE 7E WATCHED AVIDLY AS REFEREE *OHN !NDERSON SET IN MOTION A SERIES OF EVENTS WHICH SAW SPORTY MEMBERS OF THE PUBLIC TAKE ON THE PROFESSIONAL @'LADIATORS FOR THE CHANCE TO GET THROUGH TO THE lNAL SHOW AND WIN CASH PRIZES 2UNNING FOR A PHENOMENAL EIGHT SERIES UNTIL AROUND PEOPLE APPLIED TO BE CONTENDERS ON THIS HIT SHOW WHICH ATTRACT ED AS MANY AS MILLION VIEWERS AT ITS PEAK %VERYONE HAD THEIR FAVOURITE 'LADIATOR OF COURSE WHETHER IT WAS THE GYMNASTIC *ET OR THE BAD BOY 7OLF )N FACT IT WAS ALWAYS A DILEMMA DECIDING IF YOU WANTED THE 'LADIATOR OR THE CONTENDER TO TRIUMPH 7ITH EACH 'LADIATOR ADOPTING A SPECIlC PERSONA MANY MEMORABLE MOMENTS WERE CREATED PARTICULARLY WHEN IN

lGHTING OCCURRED BETWEEN THE STRONG WILLED PROFESSIONALS 7OLF AND 6ULCAN FAMOUSLY FACED EACH OTHER OFF IN THE GAME $UEL BATTLING FOR SUPREMACY DURING SEASON SEVEN WITH 7OLF CHEATING AT THE END AS ALWAYS "Y THE lNAL SERIES ONLY FOUR ORIGINAL 'LAD IATORS REMAINED THE TENACIOUS 7OLF #OBRA

3ARACEN AND ,IGHTNING 7ITH A BRAND NEW SE RIES SCHEDULED TO BEGIN ON 3KY /NE IN -AY

BETS ARE BEING TAKEN ON THE NAMES OF THE NEXT SET OF 'LADIATORS "UT THE QUESTION IS WILL THE NEW 'LADIATORS BE AS MEMORABLE AS THE LAST LOT #AN ANY NEWCOMER HOPE TO EQUAL THE MIGHTY 7ARRIOR OR THE DEADLY .IGHTSHADE 7E OR AT LEAST THOSE LUCKY VIEWERS WITH 3KY WILL JUST HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE 2EADY 7E DElNITELY ARE ,INDSAY (ARRIS

4OP THIS 7EEK

(EARD IT ON THE 'RAPEVINE

!SHES TO !SHES 4HURS PM ""#

(ELLO AND WELCOME TO THE LATEST EDITION OF THE 'RAPEVINE BRINGING YOU THE LATEST FROM INSIDE THE BOX IN YOUR ROOM WHERE THE LITTLE PEOPLE TALK FROM ,ENNY (ENRY HAS BRANDED THE ENTIRE TEL EVISION INDUSTRY RACIST SAYING IT IS STILL AS WHITE DOMINATED AS IT WAS WHEN HE STARTED YEARS AGO ) AM OF COURSE ALL FOR EQUAL OPPS BUT MAYBE (ENRY SHOULD SPEND LESS TIME COMPLAINING AND MORE TIME LEARNING TO BE FUNNY *UST A SUGGESTION !NOTHER VETERAN OF 46 BUT ONE MILES IN ADVANCE OF ,EN IS *ERRY 3EINFELD &ORCED TO RESPOND TO RUMOURS OF A RETURN OF THE HUGELY SUCCESSFUL SHOW 3EINFELD AFTER HE WROTE "EE -OVIE IN *ERRY STATED THAT HE IS hTOO OLD FOR TELEVISION v

3EQUEL TO ,IFE ON -ARS ATTRACTED MILLION VIEWERS LAST NIGHT $ElNITELY ONE OF THE ""# S BETTER OFFERINGS OF LATE

!L -URRAY S (APPY (OUR &RIDAY PM )46 3UPRISINGLY THIS TALK SHOW IS QUITE FUNNY -AKES 2OSS LOOK LAME NOT HARD THOUGH IS IT

3OUTH 0ARK &RIDAY PM 0ARAMOUNT 3TILL FRESH AND FUNNY AND NEVER PULLS ANY PUNCHES

-EDICINE -EN 'O 7ILD 4UESDAY PM # 4WO DOCTORS LIVING WITH NATIVE TRIBES AND EXPERIENCING THEIR LIVES )N A SIMILAR VEIN TO "RUCE 0ARRY S 4RIBE ,AST WEEK THEY HAD MONKEY S TAIL WITH A v WORM IN IT .ICE

$AILY 3HOW -ONDAY PM -ORE 4HE 'LOBAL %DITION FROM *ON 3TEWART AMAZINGLY STILL FUNNY EVEN WITHOUT WRITERS THOUGH IT IS EVIDENT SOMETHING IS MISSING

.EW 46 ACTUALLY ON THE WAY IS &OX S NEWS SERIES &RINGE STARRING *OSHUA *ACKSON FEA TURED IN $EGREES ON PAGE !LSO 4HE 'OODE &AMILY IS A BRAND NEW ANIMATED SHOW FROM THE MAKERS OF +ING OF THE (ILL ABOUT A FAMILY OF DO GOODERS 4HIS ONE COULD GO EITHER WAY

BUT SHOULD BE PRETTY FUNNY /N THIS SIDE OF THE POND @(AMSTER (AMMOND OF 4OP 'EAR FAME MAY TAKE THE 2ICHARD AND *UDY SLOT ON # CONTINUING TO SELL OUT AND BECOME LESS AND LESS APPEALING 4O END WITH WE HAVE NEWS ON THE WRITER S STRIKE WHICH MAY BE COMING TO AN END WITH TALKS THIS 3ATURDAY 7E ALL HOPE SO WE NEED OUR SHOWS BACK *AMES "ILLINGS

4HIS WEEK S DOUBLE PAGE #REATIVE 7RITING 3PECIAL INCLUDES *EALOUSLY "ALLET /LD &RIENDS 3EX $EATH ,UST )NTRIGUE 'NOCCHI ,IES

!CROSS THE 4ABLE h3O TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELFv $AVID STARED AT HER )T WAS RUDE TO STARE HE KNEW BUT HE WAS UNABLE TO DO ANYTHING ELSE h7ELL ) M A SALES CONSULTANT v #AROLINE PRESSED HER LIPS TOGETHER AND SLOWLY SLID THEM APART h7E MAKE THE BATTERIES FOR MOBILE TELEPHONES v h4HAT S GREAT v 3HE SAID (E WATCHED HER REPEAT THE MOTION PRESS AND RELEASE PRESS AND RELEASE (ER LIPS SWELLED EACH TIME SHE PUSHED THEM TOGETHER h4HAT S GREAT v 3HE REPEATED 4HERE WAS A VOID AND SILENCE l LLED IT $AVID STABBED A COCKTAIL STICK AT THE BOWL OF OLIVES IN FRONT OF HIM h)T S GOOD HOURS v (IS EYELASHES WERE WEIGHTED TOWARDS HER BREASTS BUT HE KNEW THIS WAS NOT A GOOD MOVE %YES ABOVE THE NECK !LWAYS KEEP THE EYES ABOVE THE NECKLINE )T DIDN T MAKE SENSE TO HIM BUT HE HAD BEEN ON ENOUGH DATES TO KNOW THAT IF HE EVER WANTED A CHANCE OF GETTING ANYWHERE NEAR HER BREASTS IT WAS ESSENTIAL THAT HE PRETENDED THEY DID NOT EXIST AT THIS POINT IN TIME 3TUPID HE KNEW ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE WAS DISPLAYING HER TITS TO THE WHOLE RESTAURANT %VERY ONE ELSE COULD LEER ALL THEY WANTED

BUT HE HAD TO KEEP HIS EYES ABOVE HER NECK h4HAT S GOOD v 3HE SAID PUSHING HER HAIR BACK (E NOTICED THAT THE ROOTS OF HER HAIR DIDN T MATCH THE AUBURN COLOUR FURTHER DOWN 3HE LEANED FORWARD AND TOOK A SIP OF HER WINE (ER LIPSTICK SMEARED A GREASY STAIN ACROSS THE GLASS THE SAME COLOUR AS THE OLIVES IN FRONT OF THEM h) HATE GETTING HOME LATE v h9EAH v $AVID WONDERED WHETHER HE COULD LOOK AT HIS WRISTWATCH WITHOUT HER NOTICING h!RE YOU READY TO ORDER v 4HE WAITER STOOD PEN POISED ABOVE A PAPER PAD AND GRINNED AT #AROLINE /F COURSE HE DID #AROLINE BARED HER TEETH AND GRINNED BACK h7E RE NOT QUITE READY YET v 3HE MURMURED THE WORDS EASING OUT OF HER PARTED LIPS 3HE SOUNDED AS IF SHE WAS CARESSING EACH WORD FOR 'OD S SAKES h7OULD YOU BE ABLE TO GIVE US A MINUTE v h/F COURSE v 4HE WAITER PREDICTABLY LOOKED AT HER CLEAVAGE (E WASN T EVEN SUBTLE ABOUT IT BUT SHE LAPPED IT UP TRACING A MANICURED l NGER UP AND DOWN THE CONDENSATION ON HER WINE GLASS AS IF SHE HADN T NOTICED &ANTASTIC (IS DATE WAS m IRTING WITH THE WAITER .OT THAT HE WAS SURPRISED IT HAD HAP PENED BEFORE AFTER ALL (E REALLY SHOULD STOP TAKING WOMEN TO )TALIAN RESTAURANTS /R MAYBE HE SHOULD STOP TAKING WOMEN OUT ALTOGETHER (E WATCHED #AROLINE SCRUTINISE THE WAITER S ARSE AS HE MOVED AWAY BEFORE SHE TURNED BACK AND PRETENDED SHE WAS INTERESTED IN HIM h)SN T IT HOT IN HERE v h9ES A BIT v 4HERE WAS A SILENCE AGAIN WHERE #AROLINE PUSHED AN OLIVE INTO HER MOUTH $AVID WISHED SHE WOULD STOP NEEDLESSLY TALKING AND THEN THEY COULD AVOID THESE LONG BREAKS IN CONVERSATION THAT MADE IT SO OBVIOUS THERE WAS NOTHING TO SAY !T LEAST IF THEY SAID NOTHING TO START WITH THEY COULD BE ALONE WITH THEIR OWN THOUGHTS )T WOULD BE ES PECIALLY GOOD IF HE COULD PUT #AROLINE ON MUTE FOR THE REST OF THE EVENING 4HAT WAY WATCHING HER COULD BE A PASSIVE ACTIVITY AND NOT INVOLVE THE TIRESOME REQUIREMENT OF CONVERSATION -IND YOU HE COULD ACHIEVE THE SAME OUTCOME BY WATCHING -ENA 3UVARI IN !MERICAN "EAUTY THAT WAS ON #HANNEL &OUR TONIGHT !T LEAST THEN HE WOULD BE ABLE TO STARE AT HER TITS WITHOUT OFFENDING ANYONE

h3O WHAT MADE YOU JOIN ONE HEART v 3HE WAS TALKING AGAIN AND IT HAD BEEN ALL OF l VE SECONDS h) DON T KNOW v (E REPLIED !T THIS POINT IN TIME HE REALLY DIDN T 4HEY ALL ASKED HIM THIS THIS SUPPOSEDLY SUBTLE QUESTION WHEN IN FACT IT WAS OFFENSIVELY AND GLARINGLY OBVI OUS THAT THEY REALLY WANTED TO KNOW WHETHER HE WAS AN ANTISOCIAL ODDBALL THAT STILL LIVED WITH HIS MUM (E COULD SEE THAT #AROLINE HAD ALREADY COME TO THAT CONCLUSION AND SUDDENLY HE WONDERED WHY HE KEPT GOING ON THESE 'OD FORSAKEN DATES (E COULD LIVE WITH HIS LONELINESS HE THOUGHT (E WOULD REVEL IN IT IN FACT h-Y WIFE DIED v (E SAID (E HAD NEVER BEEN MARRIED "UT AT LEAST IT WOULD SHUT HER UP

h/H 'OD v #AROLINE SAID BRINGING HER HAND TO HER MOUTH SO THAT A MIXTURE OF OILY OLIVE RESIDUE AND LIPSTICK CAME AWAY ON HER l NGERTIPS h) M SO SORRY v h)T S OK v $AVID LOOKED DOWN AT THE TABLE 7HEN HE MET HER EYES AGAIN SHE HAD TO SUP PRESS AN URGE TO REACH OVER AND GRAB HIS HAND h7HEN DID SHExv #AROLINE SHOOK HER HEAD AND SWALLOWED h) M SORRY )T S NONE OF MY BUSINESS v h4HREE YEARS AGO v 3HE COULD HAVE SWORN THAT HIS VOICE CRACKED AS HE SAID THE WORDS 3HE FELT HER STOMACH CONTRACT IN SYMPATHY CLENCHING TOGETHER WITH SUCH VIOLENCE THAT IT FELT AS IF THERE WAS NO AIR LEFT IN THE ROOM NO AIR LEFT IN HER LUNGS ANYMORE h)T S OK 2EALLY ) TAKE EACH DAY AS IT COMES v $AVID LOOKED DOWN AT THE TABLE AGAIN AND SHE SEARCHED HER MIND FOR SOMETHING ANY THING TO SAY THAT WASN T NAÕVE OR IGNORANT OR INAPPROPRIATE 3HE CAME UP WITH NOTHING AND BIT DOWN ON HER LIP IN FRUSTRATION h) M SO SORRY v 3HE REPEATED AND BIT INTO HER LIP AGAIN 3HE COULD FEEL THE SKIN PULL AND CRACK APART h) HAD NO IDEAxv 3HE STOPPED 3HE COULD FEEL HER SKIN PEELING UNDER EACH LAYER OF CONGEALING LIPSTICK 3HE WAS SUDDENLY VERY CONSCIOUS OF HER MAKEUP AND RUBBED HER LIPS TOGETHER SO THAT THE COLOUR MELTED AND MINGLED INTO THE SPLINTERING TISSUE h) CAN T BELIEVExv h#AN ) TAKE YOUR ORDER NOW v #AROLINE LOOKED UP AT THE WAITER h7E RE BUSY v 7HAT APPALLING TIMING 7EREN T THEY TRAINED TO KNOW WHEN THEY WERE INTERRUPTING A CONVERSATION $AVID SAID NOTHING BUT HE WAS DREDGING UP PAINFUL MEMORIES FOR 'OD S SAKES AND NOW WASN T THE TIME TO ORDER STARTERS 3HE GLARED AT THE WAITER STILL HOVERING AT HER SIDE AND RATHER POINTEDLY TURNED BACK TO HER DATE h$AVID v 3HE SAVOURED THE SENSATION OF HIS NAME ROLLING OVER HER TONGUE AS THE WAITER STALKED OFF TO THE KITCHEN h$O YOU WANT TO GO SOMEWHERE AND TALK ABOUT IT v h7ELL ) LIVE WITH MY MUM v #AROLINE GRIPPED HIS LIMP HAND IN HER OWN AND LACED HER l NGERS THROUGH HIS h9OU CAN COME BACK TO MINE v 3HE SAID 3HE NOTICED THAT THE CANDLELIGHT CAST LINGERING HOLLOWS BENEATH HIS EYE SOCKETS h/K v 3HE LEANED OVER AND KISSED HIM 3HE HADN T MEANT TO BUT SHE HADN T BEEN ABLE TO STOP HERSELF (E BARELY RESPONDED AT l RST HIS EYES OPEN AND HANDS STIFm Y REMAINING ON THE TABLE ONE HAND STILL GRASPING #AROLINE S l NGERS 4HEIR LIPS CONTACTED AND PRESSED TO GETHER AND SLOWLY SLID APART 4HEY REPEATED THE MOTION PRESS AND RELEASE PRESS AND RELEASE 7HEN THEY BROKE AWAY HER LIPS WERE SWOLLEN 'REASY STAINS GATHERED AROUND HIS MOUTH VISCOUS HALF SOLID BLOTS OF COLOUR 3HE WIPED AT HIS LIPS SO THAT THE SUBSTANCE BLED ONTO HER HANDS h,ET S GO v 3HE SAID

.ICOLE (AZAN

# 2 % !

4 ) 6 %

#REME

)N THE 7INGS

!S WE CROSSED THE BRIDGE ) WATCHED THE MIST WHILE IT CAME WRITHING OVER THE GROUND $UTY TURNED ME LEFT AND ) LOOKED OUT FOR REACTIONS ! MAN TOOK OFF HIS CAP A LADY GAZED BACK 7E DROVE ON INTO THE $ECEMBER DAY WITH GREY ABOVE BELOW AND AROUND 4HERE WAS HARDLY ANY SUN BUT THE BLACK CAR SHONE AND SHONE )T HAD ARRIVED UNEXPECTEDLY THAT MORNING AND WE HAD CLAMBERED AWKWARDLY INTO IT MY FATHER ACCOMPANYING HIS FATHER ON ONE LAST DRIVE THOUGH NEITHER OF THEM AT THE WHEEL 7E MOVED SLOWLY KNOWING THERE WOULD BE NO TROPHY FOR REACHING THE END OF THIS RALLY UNSCATHED WE DIDN T NEED A MAP AND NO PHOTOGRAPHS WOULD BE TAKEN TODAY

9OU WATCH HER FROM THE WINGS AS SHE GLIDES ACROSS THE STAGE 3HE IS m AWLESSLY STUNNING IN EVEN THE SIMPLEST #HAÔNÏS TURNS 4OES AND HANDS IN PERFECT SYMPHONY "UT FOR YOU IT DOESN T MATTER FOR ALL HER LOVELINESS SHE DOESN T DESERVE TO BE OUT THERE

UNDERNEATH THOSE LIGHTS .O THAT SHOULD BE YOU

7 2 ) 4 ) . '

) REMEMBER THIS DRIVE SO VIVIDLY ) HAVE MADE THE GREATER PART OF THIS JOURNEY MANY TIMES BEFORE AND NO DOUBT WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO FOR AS LONG AS THIS TOWN STANDS IT IS MORE SURPRISING PERHAPS THAT ) SHOULD REMEMBER SOMETHING SO TINGED WITH ORDINARINESS "UT ) CAN T FORGET THE SLEEK WINGS THE BUFFED LEATHER n HOW ) DIDN T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY HANDS FOR FEAR OF TAINTING THAT HANDSOME WELL OILED MACHINE WITH MY UNTIDY HUMAN PRESENCE ) HAD PUT MY DISHEVELLED FACE TO THE WINDOW AND LET MY THOUGHTS ROLL ALONG WITH THE WHEELS

# % .

4 2 % 3 0 2 % ! $

) HAD DONE THIS BEFORE BUT IT HAD BEEN DIFFERENT THEN 7ITHOUT REALISING ) D BEEN ANGRY BUT SUGARED IT WITH SORROW !NGRY AT HER FOR THE WAY SHE D BEEN AND THE AWFUL FORCED EXIT SHE HAD MADE ANGRY WITH MYSELF FOR NOT BELIEVING WHEN ) HEARD AND ANGRY AT WHATEVER POWER HAD ENSURED ) NEVER MET THE WOMAN SHE ONCE WAS 7E HAD NO SUITS THAT DAY AND ) DIDN T CRY ALL OVER THE #HRISTMAS TREE 4HERE WAS NO BLACK CAR LAST TIME

) HAD BEGUN MISSING HIM A LONG TIME AGO "ETTER NOT TO SEE HIM HIS OLD LUNGS WOULDN T BE ABLE TO HANDLE MY COMMON COLD 4HAT $ECEMBER ) WAS A PANTOMIME FAIRY HOPING HE D BE ABLE TO MAKE IT /LD JOKES AND WOEFUL RHYMES ) WOULD POP IN TO RECITE A BIT 7E D WHISTLE A KETTLE AND HAVE THE SAME CONVERSATION WE HAD THE WEEK BEFORE GINGER BISCUITS ON A PLATE TEA THOUGH SOMETIMES LIME CORDIAL FROM A NEVER ENDING BOTTLE IN THE PANTRY 7E DROVE PAST HIS HOUSE 7HAT TO DO WITH ALL THAT CREOSOTE 4HE ROOMS WERE STILL FULL OF EVERYTHING BUT IT HAD TO GO SOON 4HE BEAUTIFUL BUREAU THE CLOCKS THE EIGHTY YEAR OLD PICTURES THE 4AHITIAN 3UNSET WALLS THE BED WITH THE IRON SPRINGS AS BIG AS MY HEAD ) WANTED TO KEEP IT ALL ) HAD ADMIRED HIM IN A WAY ) COULDN T BELIEVE ANYONE COULD GRASP THIS PATIENT ONE AND A HALF LUNGED MAN WHO HAD HIS WAR MEDALS STOLEN 7HEN ) WAS SMALL ) WAS NEVER PROUDER OF ANYTHING THAN ACCOMPANYING HIM OUTSIDE TO WATER THE ROSES IN THE COURTYARD

CARRYING THE BLUE CAN 4HE ROSES ARE GONE NOW SLABBED OVER INTO FRIENDLY SMOOTH PATHS FOR MOBILITY SCOOTERS AND WOBBLY BICYCLES 7E HAD TO GUT THAT HOUSE AND ) DIDN T DARE WATCH &LOATING INANIMATE HE WAS WORDLESS BEFORE GOOD OLD NATURE TOOK HIS BREATH AWAY (E WAS THE OLD PUPPET ) ONCE WROTE n NOT THAT HE KNEW $ELICATELY HIS STRINGS HAD LONG SINCE BEGUN TO FRAY "UT THESE THINGS HAPPEN n GRANDPARENTS BECOME ENGAGEMENT RINGS DICTIONARIES

BLURRED BLACK AND WHITE WALLET PHOTOGRAPHS "UT THE RUB THE RUB IT WAS WHEN ) COULDN T LOOK THAT HE LEFT )N HOPE ) WAS DECEIVED HE HAD NOT PLANNED TO LEAVE !ND ALL TOO SOON WE WERE THERE 4HE CAR STOPPED AND OPENED UP n WE BREATHED AND FELL APART !NON

!S THE CURTAIN FALLS FOR A SET CHANGE YOU SEE HER GOLDEN CURLS BOUNCING AS SHE GLIDES OFF THE STAGE TOWARDS YOU (ER PERFECT BOW OF A MOUTH IS CURVED IN TO A DELICATE NERVOUS SMILE

h7HAT DO YOU THINK !M ) DOING ALL RIGHT TONIGHT v 9OU TURN AND LOOK INTO THOSE NAIVE HUNGRY EYES 9OU CANNOT BRING YOUR SELF TO SPEAK BUT INSTEAD GIVE A CUT NOD 7HY SHE SEEKS YOUR APPROVAL IS COMPLETELY BEYOND YOU 4O HER YOU MUST SEEM COMICAL

TOO OLD TO HAVE NEVER BEEN A PRINCIPAL DANCER YET YOU STAY AND WAIT IN THE WINGS EACH NIGHT 9OU WATCH HER STRETCH AGAINST THE RIGGING BACKSTAGE DURING WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOUR l VE MINUTE BREAK 9OU HATED HER NATURAL m EXIBILITY 9OU HAD BEEN DANCING SINCE THE AGE OF TWO BUT YOUR BODY NEVER ACHIEVED THE ANGLES HERS DID IN THE MOST CASUAL OF STRETCHES

h)TS NICE HAVING YOU HERE IN THE WINGS YA KNOW ,IKE A STAGE MOM ) LIKE IT v 9OU WATCH AS SHE TURNS NOT WAITING FOR A RESPONSE AND TAKES THE STAGE AGAIN 3HE IS ABSOLUTELY EFFORTLESS IN HER ARABESQUES

9OU HAD NEVER BEEN EFFORTLESS 9OU HAD STRUGGLED FOR YOUR TOE SHOES 9OU REMEMBER YOUR l RST PAIR FROM WHEN YOU JOINED THE COMPANY THAT ALWAYS SEEMED TO REEK OF &RENCH FRIES BUT YOU HAD NEEDED TO MAKE ENDS MEET .OTHING LIKE THE FAST FOOD BUSINESS TO WORK AROUND A BALLERINAS CRAZY HOURS 9OUR CURRENT PAIR NO LONGER REEKED OF &RENCH FRIES BUT SEEMED IRREVOCABLY STAINED FROM THE BOOZE WHERE YOU BARTENDED "UT THE STAINS WERE WORTH IT YOU COULDN T STOP NOW

3HE WOULD NEVER BARTEND )N FACT YOU KNEW SHE DIDN T WORK &OR ALL HER TALK ABOUT NEEDING YOU AS HER STAGE MOM HER REAL MOM WAS JUST l NE (ER MOM ALWAYS SENT COOKIES AND MORE IMPORTANTLY CASH 9OU WEREN T SURE WHICH YOU HATED HER MORE FOR HER NOT HAVING TO WORK A SECOND JOB OR THE FACT THAT SHE COULD EAT COOKIES WITHOUT GAINING AN OUNCE 9OU CAN T EVEN REMEMBER THE LAST CARB YOU ATE 9OU SHAKE YOUR HEAD TO RID YOURSELF OF YOUR CUPCAKE FANTASIES AND INSTEAD INDULGE IN ANOTHER 9OU LET YOUR MIND TRAVEL TO THE SUGAR FREE IMAGE THAT HAD SUSTAINED YOU ALL SEASON

9OU SEE HER THERE LIFTED HIGH BY HIM HER BODY TWISTED ELEGANTLY (ER ARMS ARE AKIMBO AS HE BEGINS TO LOWER HER BACK ONTO THE BLACK GLASS "UT JUST THIS ONCE IT HAPPENS SHE FALTERS 9OU SEE HER ANGELIC BODY TUMBLE TO THE GROUND 4HE GASPS OF THE AUDIENCE l LL THE AIR "UT YOU SAY THE SHOW MUST GO ON 9OU PIROUETTE ON TO THE STAGE BRUSHING HER ASIDE WITH YOUR TOE SHOES 9OU STAND THEIR BEFORE THE LIGHT AS THE AUDIENCE SETTLES

9OU BEGIN THE DANCE YOU PRACTICED FOR SO MANY HOURS /NE YOU STAND STILL AND THE UNIVERSE REVOLVES AROUND YOU 4WO YOU PUSH FORWARD ONTO THE STAGE ARMS GRACEFULLY RISING AS YOU REACH THE FOOTLIGHTS 4HREE 9OU STARE INTO THE LIGHTS UNBELIEVING YOU HAD NEVER HAD A HANG UP AT THREE 4HE AUDIENCE LAUGHS POLITELY THEN IT TURNS INTO A ROAR 9OU CAN T DO IT 9OU STARE DOWN AT YOU TOE SHOES ASHAMED FOR EVER TRYING

0 2 / 3 % 3 0 % # ) ! ,

9OU HAD WAITED IN THE LEFT WING OF THE .EW 9ORK #ITY "ALLET #OMPANY ALL SEASON

WAITING *UST WAITING FOR HER TO FALL 9OU KNEW SHE NEVER WOULD 3HE NEVER DID ALL OF AND SHE HAD NEVER ONCE FALLEN EVEN IN PRACTICE 3HE HAD NEVER EVEN FALTERED AT THE BAR

LIMBS MOVING BEYOND THE ABILITY OF HER FELLOW l RST YEARS 3HE WAS NOTHING AT ALL LIKE YOU WHEN YOU l RST CAME TO THE COMPANY 3HE WASN T REPRIMANDED EVERY DAY FOR HER IMPERFECT ARM MOVEMENT 3HE HAD NEVER KNOWN WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO BE CAST AS AN UNDER STUDY REPEATEDLY THEN EVENTUALLY NEVER BEING CAST AT ALL

h7HAT A GREAT SEASON ) LL NEVER FORGET DANCING THIS BALLET v 9OU STARTLE AS YOU LOOK UP TO SEE HER FULLY ALIVE FUNCTIONAL AND THRILLED AT THE END TO HER GREAT SEASON !

SEASON THAT DIDN T EVER BELONG TO YOU OUTSIDE YOUR OWN FANTASIES

4HIS IS HER TIME YOU REALIZE GIVING HER AN AWKWARD HUG !S YOU WATCH HER PRANCE DOWN THE HALLWAY TO THE DRESSING ROOMS YOU CAN T HELP BE BITTER THAT SOMEONE SO KIND AND SO GOOD HAD SAVED YOU FROM YOURSELF WITHOUT EVER HAVING DONE A THING 9OU KNEW YOU WERE OUT OF TIME THOUGH -AYBE NOT FOREVER BUT HERE !LL OF THIS WAS OVER FOR YOU

-ANY 4HANKS TO !LL 4HIS 7EEK S #ONTRIBUTORS &OR 4HEIR 0ROSE /FFERINGS

9OU CRAWL OUT OF MAKEUP AND COSTUME WITHOUT MUCH INCIDENT AND WAIT IN THE SHADOWS AS THE THEATER EMPTIES 9OU EVEN SEE HER EXIT AMONGST A CROWD OF OTHER DANCERS CARRYING A DOZEN WHITE ROSES 9OU KNOW WHAT S COMING FOR HER HER l RST NIGHT OUT IN THE CITY 0ERHAPS HER l RST NIGHT OUT EVER YOU KNOW SHE LL ENJOY IT 4HEN AGAIN YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW YOU HAD NEVER HAD A TRIUMPHANT NIGHT ON THE TOWN 9OU HAD NEVER BEEN HER

7HEN YOU ARE SURE EVERYONE IS GONE YOU SKULK OUT OF THE SHADOWS ONTO THE STAGE STILL GRACED WITH ITS BLINDING LIGHT 9OU WERE NO LONGER BLINDED BY IT YOU KNEW NOW YOU WOULD NEVER TRULY DANCE THIS STAGE 9OU TAKE YOUR TOE SHOES IN YOUR HANDS AND KISS THEM GENTLY BEFORE LEAVING THEM BEHIND IN A FADING POOL OF LIGHT

4ERI +AROBONIK

/NE .IGHT /NLY OR ONE MAN ONLY #HAMPIONED BY 2ADIO $* *O 7HILEY AND MUSICAL INSTITUTIONS 1 8&- AND -46

/NE .IGHT /NLY ARE A BAND ON THE BRINK OF SUPERSTARDOM 2OB -ORBIN MEETS THE BAND TO DISCUSS HOW IT FEELS TO BE TOUTED AS @4HE .EXT "IG 4HING

#

OINCIDING WITH THE RELEASE OF *UST &OR 4ONIGHT /NE .IGHT /NLY KICKED OFF THEIR 5+ 4OUR HERE IN .ORWICH 4HE %VENT HEADED DOWN TO THE !RTS #ENTRE TO HEAR ALL ABOUT THE BOYS NEWFOUND SUCCESS 5PON SIGHT OF AN IMPRESSIVE /./ TOUR BUS BAND MANAGER 2ICHIE INFORMED ME THAT FRONT MAN 'EORGE AND GUITARISTS -ARK AND $AN WERE YET TO RETURN FROM THEIR 3OCCER !- JAUNT IN ,ONDON 'EORGE #RAIG LABELLED hA CHAR ISMATIC ROCK 'ODv ON THE BAND S WEBSITE HAS BEEN EARMARKED PER HAPS UNFAIRLY AS THE SOLE REASON THAT THIS BAND IS SO SPECIAL (E HAD DOMINATED CONVERSATION DURING THE /./ SESSION WITH :ANE ,OWE THREE DAYS PRIOR NOW IT WAS TIME FOR DRUMMER 3AM AND KEYBOARD IST *ACK TO GIVE A FRESH PERSPECTIVE $OES IT FEEL ANY DIFFERENT NOW EMBARKING ON YOUR OWN TOUR h)T S MORE EXCITING YEAH COS YOU KNOW EVERYONE IS HERE TO SEE YOUv 3AM TELLS ME BUT THE PAIR INSIST THEY AREN T FAZED BY THEIR SUDDEN RISE INTO THE SPOTLIGHT hTHE PRESSURE S OFF WE RE NOT HERE TO PULL CROWDS ROUND ANYMORE v *ACK EXPLAINS ) ASK ABOUT THE PROSPECTIVE DIFFER ENCES IN LIFESTYLE WHEN ON TOUR THE BOOZE THE GROUPIES 3AM SITS UP AND LEANS FORWARD FROM THE COUCH h4HERE WERE AFTER PARTIES

BUT ALL THE GIRLS WANTED THE 0I GEONS THAT S JUST HOW THE COOKIE CRUMBLES ) SUPPOSEx SO ASK AGAIN IN SEVEN WEEKSv HE LAUGHS LEANING BACK AGAIN h"UT THE GIGS ARE THE BEST PARTv *ACK ASSURES ME $ESPITE NOT BEING IN THE PUB LIC EYE FOR VERY LONG /./ HAVE AMASSED QUITE THE FAN BASE WITH THE NOTABLE INCLUSION OF *O 7ILEY

WHO RECENTLY CHOSE THE NEW SINGLE AS HER RECORD OF THE WEEK $O YOU FEEL THE TIMING OF THIS SUCCESS WAS APPROPRIATE h"ECAUSE 3AM -ARK AND $AN WERE COMING TO THE END OF THEIR GAP YEAR IF IT HAD BEEN A FEW MONTHS LATER IT WOULDN T HAVE HAPPENED AT ALL v 3AM REVELS IN THIS SERENDIPITY h7E WERE GOING TO GO TRAVELLING BUT IT ALL STARTED KICKING OFF AROUND THE TIME WE WERE GOING TO GO SO NOT ARRANGING OUR TRAVEL OBVIOUSLY TURNED OUT TO BE QUITE BENElCIALv 3AM MUSES

7AS IT A BIT RUSHED THEN 7ERE YOU STILL lNDING YOUR SOUND h7E WERE PRETTY SURE OF OUR SOUND BEFORE THE WHOLE SIGNING PROCESS v *ACK CLARI lED 3O HAS THE SOUND CHANGED MUCH OVER THE YEARS h(AS OUR SOUND CHANGED MUCH SINCE WE STARTED AS A BAND 7ELL IT S PRO GRESSED A LOTv 3AM SMILES h)T S A DIFFERENT GENREv NEWEST MEMBER *ACK CHIPS IN CHUCKLING !T THIS

h(AS OUR SOUND CHANGED MUCH SINCE WE STARTED AS A BAND 7ELL IT S PROGRESSED A LOT A DIFFERENT GENRE ALMOSTv

POINT 3AM LUNGES INTO WHAT IS A SEEMINGLY REHEARSED STORY OF @THE EARLY YEARS h7HEN WE STARTED OUT IT WAS JUST ME -ARK AND $AN BEST MATES IN SCHOOL JUST GOING DOWN TO A WAREHOUSE AND JAMMING COV ERS WHICH WE LIKED AT THE TIME "UT WE ADDED 'EORGE ON VOCALS SO OBVIOUSLY THINGS CHANGED THEN IT STARTED GETTING A BIT MORE SERIOUS AND TWO YEARS DOWN THE LINE WE VE GOT THIS FELLOW IN TO ADD SOME AT MOSPHERIC KEYSv h/H YEAHv *ACK DOES AN !LI ' WRIST mICK 4HE LADS FAIL TO MENTION THAT ONE GUITAR IST WAS THROWN OUT THE BAND TO MAKE ROOM FOR 'EORGE WHO LIKES TO SHRED A LITTLE HIMSELF $ESPITE ALL THESE CHANGES THE PAIR INSISTED IT WAS A SLOW NATURAL PROGRESSION RATHER THAN RUTHLESS DECISIVENESS

WHICH ) BELIEVE TO BE TRUE 4HE BIOGRAPHY ON THEIR WEBSITE SAYS 'EORGE ELEVATED THEM FROM THOSE WAREHOUSE JAMMERS TO WHAT THEY ARE NOW 4HE TWO BOTH BEGIN DEFENDING THEMSELVES SIMULTANE OUSLY 3AM ALLOWS *ACK TO CLARIFY h4HAT S THE IMPRESSION CREATED BY THE BIOG IT S NOT QUITE AS SIMPLE AS THAT ! LOT OF IT IS TRUE BUT IT WAS WRITTEN A BIT TONGUE IN CHEEK AT THE SAME TIMEx BUT ) MEAN HE IS

h$OES 'EORGE FRONTMAN ELEVATE US AS A BAND )T S NOT QUITE AS SIMPLE AS THAT v

A CRACKING FRONT MAN AND IS GOOD AT WHAT HE DOESv 4HE BIOG SAYS HE WRITES THE MAJORITY OF AND THE BEST OF /./ S SONGS 3AM RESISTS ANY VAGUE DIPLOMACY h4HAT S NOT TRUE 3ONGS COME TO THE BAND IN DIFFERENT WAYS FOR INSTANCE *ACK WROTE THE lRST SINGLE 9OU AND -E

THE SECOND *UST &OR 4ONIGHT WAS A BAND SONG AND THE ONE PLANNED FOR AFTER THAT IS A 'EORGE SONG 3OME ARE BROUGHT IN AS INITIAL IDEAS AND SOME ARE lNISHED SONGS WE CAN WORK ON AS A BANDv )NTER ESTINGLY TWO DAYS AFTER THIS INTER

VIEW THE BIOGRAPHY WAS WIPED OFF THE WEBSITE -OVING ON TO THE FORTHCOM ING ALBUM 3TARTED ! &IRE WE ASK WHERE AND HOW THE NAME CROPPED UP h4HE ALBUM TITLE )T S A LYRIC FROM ONE OF THE SONGS CALLED (E S 4HERE WHICH WILL BE THE NEXT SIN GLE 'EORGE WROTE IT ABOUT HIS FRIEND WHO BECAME VERY ILL SUD DENLY AND PASSED AWAY 4HE LAD WAS AWAY ON HOLIDAY AT THE TIME

SO ALL HIS FRIENDS STARTED A lRE IN ONE OF HIS FAVOURITE HANGOUT PLAC ES IN HIS MEMORY AND THAT S WHERE IT COMES FROMv /F COURSE THE TITLE ALSO RELATES TO THE BAND STARTING THEIR MUSIC CAREER h9EAH THAT S EXACTLY RIGHTv "EING SO YOUNG DO ANY OF YOU lND YOU EXAGGERATE LIFE EXPERIENCE WHEN WRITING LYRICS *ACK REPLIES h,YRICS ARE A SORT OF A VERY IN THE MOMENT KIND OF THING ! LOT OF RE VIEWS HAVE SAID WE SEEM TO WRITE ABOUT TEENAGE THINGS BUTxv 3AM HELPS HIM OUT NOTING h7RITING ABOUT YOUR LIFE AND BEING A TEEN AGER THAT S INEVITABLEv /./ DON T TRY TO HIDE THAT THEY RE TEENS FROM THE COUNTRYSIDE 3AM ELUCIDATES

h7E WEREN T COMING FROM A CITY SCENE WHERE YOU GET A LOT OF SIMI LAR SOUNDING BANDS WE WOULD JUST WRITE ABOUT WHAT WE WANTED WITH OUT BEING INmUENCED BY ANYTHING LIKE THATv 4HE RATE /./ ARE GOING IT WON T BE LONG UNTIL THEY RE PER FORMING TO LARGER CROWDS h) THINK OUR MUSIC SUITS A BIGGER VENUE BUT A GIG S A GIG 7E LL GO OUT AND PLAY THE SAME SHOW TO PEOPLE AS WE WOULD TO PEOPLE BECAUSE YOU OWE THAT TO THE PEOPLE WHO COME TO WATCH YOUv 3AM SUM MARISES h3OUNDWISE IT FEELS MORE AT HOME IN A BIG PLACE WHERE IT CAN SWEEPv !ND FOR THE SUMMER FESTIVALS h7E WANT TO PLAY ,EEDS COS THAT S OUR HOME FESTIVAL WE VE BEEN THERE THE LAST FOUR OR lVE YEARS CAMPINGv !NY OTHER PLANS WE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT h7E RE GUNNA TOUR UNTIL WE CAN T STAND UP ANYMOREv *ACK BEAMS !FTER WITNESSING A RIVETING LIVE SET DESPITE BEING A LITTLE ROUGH AROUND THE EDGES THIS WRITER LEAVES SAFE IN THE KNOWLEDGE THAT /NE .IGHT /NLY ARE SO MUCH MORE THAN ONE MAN ONLY

3INGLES OF THE 7EEK

,ATE /F 4HE 0IER

4HE "EARS !RE #OMING

4HE "EARS !RE #OMING IS SO ZEITGEIST Y IT HURTS 3.%3 SNYTHS YELLED NU RAVE VOCALS AND EVEN SOME !FRICAN STYLE DRUMMING HELLO 6AMPIRE 7EEKEND .O WONDER THEY VE BEEN HYPED TO THE HEAVENS BY SUCH OFTEN PRETENTIOUS OCCASIONALLY CORRECT PUBLICATIONS SUCH AS !RTROCKER "UT IS THIS ONE OF THOSE OCCASIONAL OCCASIONS 4HE "EARS !RE #OMING HAS SOME GREAT MOMENTS n A BIT OF 0RINCE ESQUE FUNK THOSE SQUALLING SYNTHS n BUT OVERALL IT S A MESS 4HE BAND HAS JUST THROWN A WORN COPY OF .-% AT A WALL TO

SEE WHAT STICKS 4HE WELTER OF IDEAS DOES GIVE THE SINGLE A LIKEABLE KIND OF INSANITY BUT JUST AS THEY GET INTO A GROOVE THE RHYTHM IS DISRUPTED

BY SOME GARISH TEMPO CHANGE OR SHOWY KEYBOARD RIFF 4HE BUSYNESS IS ENJOYABLE UP TO THE ONE MINUTE THIRTY SIX MARK WHEN IT lNALLY TOPPLES INTO THE RIDICULOUS ,ATE OF THE 0IER CHOP AND CHANGE TOO MUCH TO MAKE A SONG THAT S TRULY DANCEABLE BUT IT ALSO DOESN T HAVE ANY DEPTH OR HOOKS TO OFFER BEYOND THE PURELY PHYSICAL 4HEY COULD WELL BE FUN LIVE BUT ULTIMATELY IT S TOO ON TREND ALL HEAD AND NO HEART

INTO THEIR BELTS %AST ,ONDON FOUR PIECE "OY +ILL "OY ARE UNDOUBTEDLY HOPING THAT THE ONLY WAY NOW IS UP 0ROMISES IS THE SECOND SINGLE RELEASE FROM FORTHCOMING ALBUM 3TARS AND THE 3EA DUE -ARCH ST A REPUTEDLY @NOCTURNAL RECORD CRAFTED

#UT /FF 9OUR (ANDS /H 'IRL

3ARAH #HRISTIE

"OY +ILL "OY 0RETTY 'IRL 7ITH A GOLD SELLING DEBUT ALBUM A HANDFUL OF 5+ CHART REACHING SINGLES AND A STRING OF SHOWS SUPPORTING BIG "RIT NAMES SUCH AS -AXIMO 0ARK &EEDER AND THE %NEMY TUCKED

SAME STANDARDS AS OTHER GUITAR DRIVEN POP FAVOURITES &OR NOW IT SEEMS LIKELY THAT "OY +ILL "OY WILL REMAIN IN THE SHADOWS OF THOSE CHEEKY INDIE HEAVYWEIGHTS WHO GOT THERE lRST 3TEPH -CKENNA

IN THE BACK OF THE BAND S TOUR BUS AND DURING THEIR CONTRASTING STAYS IN #ORNWALL AND SUNNY ,! &RONT MAN #HRIS 0ECK S VOCALS ARE ATTRACTIVE AND THERE IS A SIMPLISTIC CHARM TO THE TRACKS MELLOW PACE WITH OCCASIONAL WHISPERS OF THE BAND S BIGGEST INmUENCES SUCH AS THE #URE AND %CHO THE "UNNYMEN 5NFORTUNATELY 0ROMISES BOBS ALONG A LITTLE TOO EASILY AND LACKS CRUCIAL ROCK ENERGY AND THE CHARISMATIC KICK TO BRING THE BAND UP TO THE

'IVEN THAT THE PRESS RELEASE ACCOMPANYING THIS TRACK DESCRIBES THIS BAND S LIVE SHOW AS @RAUCOUS AND THEIR SINGER AS @SNARLING GROWLING AND GURNING THE ACTUAL SINGLE IS SOMEWHAT UNDERWHELMING 4HIS IS THE SECOND SINGLE FROM THE YOUNG BAND FROM !UCKLAND .EW :EALAND THAT HAVE TOURED WITH &OALS RECENTLY 4HEY DON T SOUND MUCH LIKE &OALS THOUGH %XPECTING PUNK THAT IS AN ASSAULT ON THE EARDRUMS AND A SOUND THAT CAN EFFECTIVELY BE DESCRIBED AS @LOUD IT S A BIT DISAPPOINTING TO COME ACROSS A MORE MELODIC POPPY SINGLE

(OWEVER DESPITE THIS JUDGING THE TRACK ON ITS OWN MERITS RATHER THAN PRECONCEPTIONS IT S A NICE LITTLE TUNE 4HIS "ERNARD "UTLER PRODUCED SINGLE IS PRETTY MELODIC AND FULL OF JOY !DMITTEDLY SENTIMENTAL AND A LITTLE BIT SOPPY IT LL BE INTERESTING TO SEE WHAT THIS BAND ARE CAPABLE OF BOTH LIVE AND WHEN THEY CONCENTRATE LESS ON HARMONY AND SINGING ABOUT HOLDING GIRLS HANDS AND MORE ON THE NOISE WHICH HAS GOT FOLLOWERS OF THE BAND SO EXCITED #UT OFF 9OUR (ANDS LOOK SET FOR GOOD THINGS AND THIS TRACK SHOWS A LOT OF PROMISE ALTHOUGH IN A WAY THAT WAS UNEXPECTED 7ORTH A LISTEN *ACK 0ITT

5FM '03 61 50 %"5& "7"*-"#*-*5: 7*4*5 XXX OPSXJDI BDDPNNPEBUJPO DP VL

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#63: 453&&5 Furnished  Hall  Entrance  Terraced  House,  3  beds,  lounge,  kitchen,  bathroom,  gas  c/h "3.&4 453&&5  Furnished  Terraced  House,  3  beds,  lounge,  kitchen,  bathroom,  gas  c/h 8*/5&3 30"%  Furnished  Terraced  Houses,  4  beds,  lounge,  kitchen,  bathroom,  gas  c/h -*/$0-/ 453&&5  Furnished  ‘over  the  passage’  Terraced  House,  4  beds,  lounge,  kitchen,  bathroom,  gas  c/h 1035-"/% 453&&5  Furnished  Flat,  4  beds,  lounge/diner,  kitchen,  bathroom,  gas  c/h :03, 453&&5  Furnished  End  Terraced  House,  4  beds  (1  en-­suite),  lounge,   kitchen/diner,  bathroom,  gas  c/h )*()-"/% 30"%  Furnished  ‘over  the  passage’  Terraced  House,  4  beds,  lounge,  kitchen,  bathroom,  gas  c/h .*-- )*-- 30"%  Furnished  Terraced  House,  4  beds,  lounge,  dining  room,  kitchen,  bathroom,  gas  c/h :03, 453&&5  Furnished  Terraced  House,  5  beds,  lounge,  kitchen,  bathroom,  gas  c/h -*/$0-/ 453&&5  Furnished  Terraced  House,  5  beds  (2  en-­suite),  lounge,  kitchen,  bathroom,  gas  c/h 62  Livingstone  Street,  Norwich,  NR2  4HE.  T  -­  01603  611145.  F  -­  01603  665778

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(OLD /N .OW 9OUNGSTER ,OS #AMPESINOS ARE NO lNER AN EXAMPLE OF A -Y3PACE SUCCESS 4HEY WERE A BLOGGERS DREAM A CHIRPY ENTHUSIASTIC SEVEN PIECE WHO IDOLISE 0AVEMENT "ROKEN 3OCIAL 3CENE 9O ,A 4ENGO $EERHOOF AND $ESTROYER 4HERE WAS NOT ONE BAND THAT THE WORLD WIDE WEB FELL FOR MORE IN THAN ,OS #AMPESINOS 7HY &EW 5 + BANDS ASIDE FROM #AJUN $ANCE 0ARTY SUM UP THE EXUBERANCE AND ENTHUSIASM OF YOUTH ANY BETTER THAN THIS LOT ,AST YEAR S SPECTACULAR SINGLES 9OU -E $ANCING AND )NTERNATIONAL 4WEEXCORE 5NDERGROUND EXEMPLIlED THEIR ABILITY TO CRAFT NEAR PERFECT INDIE POP CLASSICS WITH ALL THE ENERGY OF A YOUNG PUPPY 3O IT S WITH ANTICIPATION THAT THE MUSIC WORLD APPROACHES THEIR DEBUT (OLD /N .OW 9OUNGSTER

!S THE lRST TWO TRACKS $EATH 4O ,OS #AMPESINOS AND "ROKEN (EARTS 3OUND ,IKE "REAKBEATS PROVE IF IT AIN T BROKE WHY lX IT #OMPLETE WITH TWO OF THE MOST MEMORABLE GUITAR LINES YOU WILL HEAR IN MUSIC TODAY

BOTH TRACKS ARE FULL TO THE BRIM WITH TOE TAPPING HANDS IN THE AIR ENTHUSIASM !S VIOLINS AND GUITAR S BOUNCE AND WEAVE

'ARETH #AMPESINOS SPURTS THE MOST OUT OF THE ORDINARY LYRICS h) SEE SONG S IN SHAPES AND COLOURS NOT NUCLEAR PHYSICS AND POTTERY OVENSv ,OS #AMPESINOS ARE AS FAR FROM 4HE ,IBERTINES FALL OUT AS HUMANELY POSSIBLE AND ULTIMATELY THAT S WHAT MAKES THEM SO EASY TO FALL FOR $ON T 4ELL -E 4O $O 4HE -ATH 3 AND $ROP )T $OE %YES ARE MORE OF THE SAME

BUT THIS IS NO BAD THING 4HE RELENTLESS PACE IS MEMORIZING AND BURGEONS UP UNTIL THE ADEQUATELY NAMED 4HIS IS (OW 9OU 3PELL h(AHAHA 7E $ESTROYED THE (OPES AND $REAMS OF ! 'ENERATION OF &AUXv n 2OMANTICS ,ONG NAME PUNS ASIDE IT S WITHOUT A DOUBT THE lNEST FOUR MINUTES OF ,OS #AMPESINOS CAREER THUS FAR !S THREE MINUTES OF INTERLACING SYNTHS AND GUITARS MAKE WAY FOR !RT "RUT TYPE SPOKEN WORD YOU CAN T HELP BUT EMPATHISE WITH THE HEARTACHE AND SINCERITY THAT TAINTS EVERY LYRIC h) KNOW ) AM WRONG ) AM SORRY v CRIES 'ARETH 5NFORTUNATELY ASIDE FROM THE GIDDY

EUPHORIA OF 9OU -E $ANCING THE lNAL THIRD LEAVES MUCH TO BE DESIRED )NSTEAD OF THE SUGARY AFTERTASTE MOST WOULD PREDICT

SONGS LIKE 7E !RE !LL !CCELERATED 2EADERS AND !ND 7E %XHALE AND 2OLL /UR %YES IN 5NISON SOMEWHAT EXHAUST THE @FAILED ROMANTIC VIBE THAT INITIALLY CHARMS YOUR SOCKS OFF ,YRICS LIKE h7OE IS ME WOE IS YOU WOE IS US TOGETHERv ARE LESS SACCHARINE THAN SICKLY ,UCKILY LIVE FAVOURITE 3WEET $REAMS

EEK

3WEET #HEEKS REDEEMS (/.9 ROUNDING OFF AN ALMOST FAULTLESS DEBUT PERFECTLY (/.9 CEMENTS ,OS #AMPESINOS AS THE YOUNG BAND TO BEAT RIGHT NOW THERE ARE FEW OTHERS THAT EVOKE AS MUCH SINCERITY

HUMOUR COLOUR AND LIFE (OLD ON NOW YOUNGSTERS THIS WON T BE LAST YOU HEAR OF ,OS #AMPESINOS 'REG 3ULLIVAN

"URIAL

4HE &EELING

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"URIAL S SELF TITLED DEBUT GAR NERED MUCH CRITICAL ACCLAIM IN AND THIS FOLLOW UP WHILE BEING VERY SIMILAR SOMEHOW MANAGES TO TOP IT 7HILE HIS IDENTITY STILL REMAINS HIDDEN

HE IS DESERVEDLY THE MOST POP ULAR DUBSTEP PRODUCER OUT THERE BUT HE SURE ISN T MAKING ANY MAINSTREAM CONCESSIONS ON THIS RELEASE 6OCALS ARE MORE PROMINENT REPETITIVE LOOPS OF MANIPULATED SOULFUL 2 " STYLE LAMENTS ABOUT LOVE RATHER THAN THE GRIME VO CALS THAT WOULD BE MORE USUAL FOR DUBSTEP AND WHICH DID CROP UP ON A TRACK ON HIS lRST ALBUM )T IS MORE EMOTIVE THAN ITS PREDECESSOR A DREAMLIKE MURKY URBAN SOUNDTRACK

EVOKING THE NOCTURNAL SOUTH ,ONDON IN WHICH IT WAS MADE 7ITH DARKLY CINEMATIC SYNTHS DEEP BASS AND TWO STEP BEATS THE WHOLE THING IS VEILED IN REVERB SOUNDING LIKE IT S COMING FROM THE NEXT ROOM WITH AN EVIDENT VINYL CRACKLE THROUGHOUT SOMETHING WHICH SOME PEOPLE MAY JUST lND ANNOYING 7HILE THE INmUENCE FROM 5+ GARAGE IS PROMI NENT IT REMINDS ME MORE OF THE MINIMAL DUB TECHNO OF PEOPLE LIKE "ASIC #HANNEL THAN THE USUAL DUBSTEP RECORD )T CERTAINLY ISN T A DANCE RECORD OFTEN GOING INTO AMBIENT TERRITORY WITH AN AMOUNT OF EMOTION THAT IS OFTEN MISS ING FROM OTHER ARTISTS WITHIN THE GENRE 4HE ONLY PERSON ON THE SCENE PARTICULARLY COMPARABLE IN TERMS OF THE DARK MOURNFUL ATMOSPHERE IS #YRUS ALSO RECOMMENDED AND WE RE GUESSING HE OWES HIS EXISTENCE TO THIS GUY 5NTRUE IS ESSENTIAL LISTENING FOR ANY MUSIC FAN /LIVER 7ILLIAMS

)N 4HE &EELING RESURRECTED THE SPIRIT OF VILIlED YET SECRETLY FANTASTIC 3EVENTIES SOFT ROCKERS SUCH AS 3UPERTRAMP AND CC THROUGH A SERIES OF EXQUISITE POP SONGS 7ITH THEIR SECOND ALBUM *OIN 7ITH 5S THEY HAVE EMBRACED EXCESS "UT HAVE THEY GONE TOO FAR IN A SPLURGE OF SYRUPY HARMONIES AND RINGING ALARM CLOCKS (IDDEN BENEATH ARE THE SAME DAZZLING POP HOOKS OF THEIR DEBUT 3ELECTED HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE lRST SINGLE ) 4HOUGHT )T 7AS /VER A SHIMMERING DISCO STOMPER

7ON T 'O !WAY STUTTERING IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES AND $ON T -AKE -E 3AD WHICH HAS THE GAUDY SELF CONlDENCE OF THE BEST SHOWSTOPPERS (OWEVER ONLY TWO OF THE TWELVE TRACKS CLOCK IN UNDER THE THREE MINUTE THIRTY MARK WHICH MEANS THE ALBUM MISSES A RADIO FRIENDLY EDGE *OIN 7ITH 5S ALSO LACKS SLIGHTLY IN EMOTIONAL VARIATION AS ALL SONGS ARE COVERED IN THE SAME GLOSSY VENEER "UT #ONOR WHICH OPENS WITH EXACTLY THE SAME SYNTH SALVO AS 0RINCE S ,ET S 'O #RAZY IS FANTASTIC WITH AN EROTIC AND AFFECTING VOCAL BY FRONTMAN $AN 'ILLESPIE 3ELLS 4HIS 4IME FOLLOWS A BALLAD THAT IS STRANGELY MOVING EVEN THOUGH THE LYRICS HAVE THE SUBSTANCE OF A &RENCH &ANCY $EPTH IS NOT 4HE &EELING S STRONG POINT BUT THEN IT S NOT THEIR POINT AT ALL 4HEY AIM FOR PERFECT POP CONFECTIONS AND ACHIEVE THEM !FTER A FEW MONTHS OF LISTENING *OIN 7ITH 5S MIGHT START ROTTING TEETH BUT RIGHT NOW IT S A BALL 3ARAH #HRISTIE

/NE .IGHT /NLY ARE A VERY IN OFFENSIVE BAND BUT THAT IN A WAY IS PRECISELY WHAT MAKES THEM SO OFFENSIVE 4HEY ARE LIKE THE 0IGEON $ETECTIVES MI NUS THE CHARISMA AND FROM THIS REVIEWER S POINT OF VIEW

THAT S A PRETTY DAMNING CRITI CISM %SSENTIALLY THIS ALBUM ISN T EVIL IT S JUST VERY FORGET TABLE )T S NOT OFTEN THAT AFTER LISTENING TO AN ALBUM YOU STRUGGLE TO PICK A STANDOUT MOMENT AND THAT S WHERE THE PROBLEM LIES /NE .IGHT /NLY ARE JUST INCREDIBLY BLAND %VERY TRACK IS SIMILAR IN THAT THE LISTENER IS WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN AND FOR THE RELATIVE BOREDOM TO END BUT IT NEVER HAPPENS 4HE LYRICS ARE UNORIGINAL AND PRETTY STANDARD FOR YOUR VAGUELY INDIE TYPE BAND 4HEIR DIFFERENCE FROM THE GLUT OF BORING AND GENERALLY NOT VERY GOOD 5+ BANDS AROUND AT THE MOMENT ! SYNTH 4HAT IS BARELY NOTICEABLE /NE .IGHT /NLY ARE TEDIOUS AND UNINSPIRED AND HONESTLY A WASTE OF TIME 4HAT BANDS LIKE THIS ARE SUCCESSFUL IS REPRESENTATIVE OF WHAT IS WRONG WITH MAINSTREAM "RITISH ROCK MUSIC IN .OTHING ABOUT IT IS PARTICULARLY UNPLEASANT IT S JUST SELLING PEOPLE SHORT 7HY SETTLE FOR SOMETHING FORGETTABLE LIKE THIS FROM A BAND WITH A SHELF LIFE OF LESS THAN A YEAR AS OPPOSED TO GENUINELY EXCITING MUSIC 0ERHAPS ONE DAY MODERN POPULAR GUITAR MUSIC CAN LIVE UP TO ITS HISTORY IN THE 5+ BUT WHEN BANDS LIKE THIS GET SIGNED IT LOOKS UNLIKELY

*ACK 0ITT

7ILL (OLLOWAY

4HE 1UIET -EN 7HO -ADE )T ,OUD &OR THE MAJORITY OF THE BANDS THAT PLAYED THE .-% TOUR +AISER #HIEFS "LOC 0ARTY AND 4HE +ILLERS IT S BEEN PLAIN SAILING 4HINGS HAVEN T BEEN AS EASY FOR 4HE &UTUREHEADS HOWEVER 7ILL (OLLOWAY ASKS 2OSS -ILLARD JUST WHERE OUR BELOVED ART ROCK GEORDIE S HAVE BEEN

)

T S A COLD AND CLOUDY NIGHT ON THE +INGS 2OAD AND NOT FOR THE lRST TIME 4HE %VENT lNDS ITSELF ALONE PERCHED ON A DAMP STONE WALL OUTSIDE A VENUE WAITING TO INTERVIEW A BAND "UT AT LEAST IT S A BAND WORTH WAIT ING FOR 4HE &UTUREHEADS WERE CATA PULTED TO FAME IN FOLLOWING THE RELEASE OF THEIR SELF TITLED DEBUT ALBUM WHICH FEATURED SINGLES SUCH AS -EANTIME $ECENT $AYS AND .IGHTS

AND ALSO THE 4OP SMASH HIT +ATE "USH COVER (OUNDS OF ,OVE !NYWAY

BACK TO THE DAMP STONE WALL WE RE TOLD BY THE MANAGER TO MEET OUTSIDE THE STAGE ENTRANCE AT BUT HE S LATE )T S COLD REALLY COLD AND WE RE GETTING MORE AND MORE AGITATED AS WE RE FORCED TO DO AN EMBARRASSING JIG AROUND THE CAR PARK JUST TO KEEP WARM 3OON THOUGH ALL IS FORGOT TEN AS THE BAND S MANAGER APPEARS OUTSIDE WITH THE &UTUREHEADS SMI LEY GUITARIST 2OSS -ILLARD !FTER DIS COVERING THAT THERE ISN T ANYWHERE REMOTELY QUIET IN THE VENUE TO DO AN INTERVIEW WE MOVE TO THE BAND S TOUR BUS OR TO BE MORE PRECISE TOUR VAN 7E JOKE ABOUT HOW 4HE %VENT IS PROBABLY THE UGLIEST PERSON TO EVER BE TAKEN ONTO THE BAND S TOUR BUS BUT BEING A NICE CHAP 2OSS KINDLY DENIES THIS !FTER THE FAILED HUMOUR 4HE %VENT DECIDES IT S BEST TO START THE INTERVIEW )T HAS BEEN A TURBULENT COUPLE OF YEARS SINCE THE RELEASE OF THEIR DEBUT ALBUM 4HE @(EADS RELEASED THEIR DIFlCULT SECOND ALBUM .EWS AND 4RIBUTES TO CRITICAL ACCLAIM BUT IT FAILED TO SELL ANYWHERE NEAR AS WELL AS THEIR DEBUT RECORD AND AS A RESULT OF THIS THEY FELL OUT WITH AND EVENTUALLY CHOSE TO TERMINATE THEIR RECORD DEAL WITH 2ECORDS 4HE BAND WERE ON THE BRINK OF CALLING IT A DAY BUT THEY DIDN T THE EVENTS OF THE LAST COUPLE OF YEARS ONLY SERVED TO BRING THEM CLOSER TOGETHER 2OSS IS AS CHIRPY AS EVER EVEN WHEN DIS CUSSING THE BAND S PARTING WITH THEIR LABEL HE NEVER RAISES HIS VOICE AND REMAINS PERFECTLY COMPOSED IN A SITUATION WHERE OTHER LESSER BANDS MAY HAVE mOWN OFF THE HANDLE 2OSS DESCRIBED THE BAND S PARTING OF WAY WITH RECORDS AS hPERFECTLY AMI CABLEv "UT THEN WE MOVE ONTO THE CIRCUMSTANCES SURROUNDING THE RE LEASE OF THE &UTUREHEADS SECOND AL BUM AND 2OSS GOES ONTO TO DESCRIBE THE REAL REASONS BEHIND THE BAND S PARTING WITH 2OSS PAUSES FOR A

MOMENT THEN EXPLAINS h7E WERE A BIT NAÕVE ABOUT THE SECOND ALBUM

WE THOUGHT THAT THE BEST THING FOR US TO DO WOULD BE TO MAKE A RECORD THAT WAS COMPLETELY DISSIMILAR TO THE lRST ONE TO PROVE THAT WE WEREN T JUST ANOTHER POST PUNK BAND 7E WANTED .EWS AND 4RIBUTES TO BE A LOT MORE ABOUT THE SONGS THEMSELVES AND NOT JUST ABOUT THE ENERGY OR THE MUSICIANSHIPv !FTER RECORDING AND PRODUCING THE ALBUM THE BAND WAS ALL GEARED UP TO START PROMOTING

h4HE NEW SONGS AREN T REALLY ANGRY THEY RE MORE OPTIMISTIC AND MORE SELF CONlDENT IN AN AGGRESSIVE WAYv

AND TOURING THEIR NEW BABY (OWEV ER THINGS DIDN T EXACTLY GO TO PLAN 3IX WEEKS BEFORE .EWS AND 4RIBUTES WAS DUE TO COME OUT IN THE SHOPS

2OSS RECEIVED A PHONECALL FROM THE ! 2 PEOPLE AT RECORDS SAYING h7E RE NOT ACTUALLY SURE THERE S A

SINGLE ON THIS RECORD $O YOU HAVE ANY MORE SONGS BY ANY CHANCE v 4HE BAND S REACTION TO THIS WAS NOT WHOLLY POSITIVE h7E WERE THINKING

WELL WE MADE THE RECORD MONTHS AGO SO OBVIOUSLY YOU VE WAITED UN TIL WEEKS BEFORE RELEASE TO ASK US THAT QUESTION !RE YOU A BUNCH OF IDIOTS v h4HE PEOPLE AT THAT RECORD LABEL ARE MAINLY BUSINESS GRADU ATES AND STONERS WHO VE BEEN GIVEN WELL PAID JOBS 4HEY LOST FAITH IN THE RECORD AND SO WE LOST FAITH IN IT TOO

AND WE WERE LESS MOTIVATED ABOUT TOURING IT PROPERLY v 4HE BAND WERE ON THE BREAK OF SPLITTING UP BUT INSTEAD OF DOING SO THEY DID WHAT THEY HAD TO DO AND CHOSE NOT TO RE NEW THEIR CONTRACT WITH WHEN IT EXPIRED hTHEY COULDN T REALLY AF FORD THE AMOUNT OF MONEY THEY NEEDED TO PAY US CONTRACTUALLY 3O WE SAID @9OU RE ALRIGHT THEN BECAUSE WE DON T THINK YOU VE DONE A GOOD JOB@v ) ASKED 2OSS ABOUT THE SOUND OF THE NEW ALBUM AND WHETHER THE EVENTS OF THE LAST COUPLE OF THE YEARS HAD LEFT THE BAND FEELING ANGRY $ID IT HAVE AN INmUENCE ON THE BAND S SOUND h4HE NEW SONGS AREN T REALLY ANGRY THEY RE MORE OPTIMISTIC AND MORE SELF CONlDENT IN AN AGGRESSIVE WAYv HE SAYS WITH A CHEEKY GRIN h) THINK WE VE HAD QUITE A LOT OF TIME TO GET PERSPECTIVE ON THINGS WHICH WENT ON AND IT S NOT LIKE WE RE RE SENTFUL OF THE WAY THINGS TURNED OUT WE VE HAD A LONG TIME TO lG URE OUT WHAT WE WANT TO DO v 4HE &UTUREHEADS AREN T ONES TO DWELL ON THE PAST AND 2OSS IS POSITIVELY EXUDING OPTIMISM ABOUT THE POS

SIBILITIES OF GOING IT ALONE 4HE NEW ALBUM SET FOR RELEASE IN -AY IS TO BE RELEASED ON THE BAND S OWN .UL 2ECORDS LABEL h7E COME FROM QUITE A $)9 PUNK BACKGROUND DOING GIGS

h7E MET AT A YOUTH MUSIC PROJECT AND WE RE TRYING TO START UP ANOTHER ONE WITH THE GUYS FROM &IELD -USICv IN SQUATS AND STUFF LIKE THAT )T S LIKE A FRESH START NOW 4HE MACHINERY OF THE MUSIC INDUSTRY IS ROBBING FROM THE INSIDE 7E VE GOT A BACK CATA LOGUE WE GOT FANS WE VE GOT A BIT OF MONEY TO SET UP OUR RECORD LABEL AND HAVEN T REALLY GOT ANYTHING TO LOSE 7E WOULDN T HAVE MADE SUCH AN OPTIMISTIC THIRD ALBUM HAD IT NOT HAD ALL THE STUFF HAPPENING WITH THE SECOND RECORDv $OES THE BAND STILL SPEND MUCH TIME IN 3UNDERLAND AND DO THEY SEE MUCH OF OTHER LOCAL BANDS SUCH AS -AXIMO 0ARK AND &IELD -USIC h/H YEAH WE SHARE A PRACTICE SPACE WITH

THOSE GUYS WE RE STILL VERY CLOSE 7E STILL PLAY A SIDE AGAINST OTHER BANDS ON A 4HURSDAY NIGHT WHEN WE RE AT HOME )T S A REALLY SMALL CITY IT S A REALLY SMALL COMMUNITY AND THERE AREN T THAT MANY MUSI CIANS IN 3UNDERLAND OR .EWCASTLE THAT ARE KIND OF PROACTIVE SO EVE RYONE KNOWS EACH OTHER AND HELPS OUT IN DOING THINGS v 4HE BAND IS KEEN TO GIVE BACK TO LOCAL COM MUNITY PROJECTS LIKE THE ONE WHICH HELPED THE BAND lRST FORM h7E MET AT A YOUTH MUSIC PROJECT AND WE RE TRYING TO START UP ANOTHER ONE WITH THE GUYS FROM &IELD -USICv 4OWARDS THE END OF THE INTERVIEW THE SUBJECT TURNS TO BRIGHTER THINGS

LIKE NEW BANDS 2OSS IS INTO (E TALKS ABOUT HOW &OALS hSOUND TOO MUCH LIKE "LOC 0ARTY v AND SAYS HE PREFERS 'LASGOW BAND 'LASVEGAS AND ARTISTS SUCH AS - ) ! AND 3ANTAGOLD 7E ASKED HOW HE FELT ABOUT NOT BEING FEATURED ON THIS YEAR S .-% #OOL ,IST BUT AT THIS 2OSS CHUCKLES SAY ING h/H COME ON MAN 4HAT THING IS JUST TO lLL COLUMN INCHESv (E GOES ON hTHEY CALLED ME THE !RT 0UNK -ONK )T S FUNNY BUT ) DON T THINK IT S INDICATIVE OF ANYTHING IN PARTIC ULAR ) THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE ON THAT LIST COULDN T BE LESS COOL BUT IT S JUST THEIR OPINION REALLYv !T THIS POINT

THE &UTUREHEADS MANAGER APPEARS OUT OF NOWHERE AND WHISKS 2OSS AWAY TO DO A SOUNDCHECK 7E RE LEFT WITH THE LASTING IMPRESSION THAT IF THERE S ANY BAND WHO CAN ROLL WITH THE PUNCHES THROWN BY THE MU SIC INDUSTRY AND TAKE BY THE SCRUFF OF THE NECK THEN IT S THE &U TUREHEADS

-AIN &EATURE

$IR -ATT 2EEVES 2ELEASED ! #HAT WITH THE $IRECTOR

#LOVERlELD IS THE BRAINCHILD OF PRO DUCER ** !BRAMS BETTER KNOWN FOR HIS WORK ON ,OST AND DIRECTOR -ATT 2EEVES 4HIS IS NOT JUST ANOTHER INVA SION MOVIE ALTHOUGH THE CONCEPT IS BASICALLY THE SAME ! BIG MONSTER AT TACKS .EW 9ORK AND THE lLM DETAILS THE RESPONSE FROM LOCALS AND GOV ERNMENT ALIKE FOCUSING ON A GROUP OF FRIENDS THAT lND THEMSELVES IN THE MIDDLE OF SUCH ATTACK 4HE DIFFERENCE BEING THIS lLM IS TOLD SOLELY FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF

A $6 #AMERA THAT IS CARRIED AROUND

BY ONE OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS AS THE GROUP OF FRIEND S RACE INTO THE HEART OF THE ATTACK ZONE IN ORDER TO SAVE THE PROTAGONISTS LOVE 7HILE IT S DIF lCULT NOT TO MAKE COMPARISONS WITH THE "LAIR 7ITCH 0ROJECT DUE TO THE lLM BEING SHOT IN A SIMILAR AESTHETIC STYLE THE NARRATIVE IS ENTIRELY DIFFER ENT AND IT WAS EVIDENTLY lLMED WITH A MUCH HIGHER PRODUCTION VALUE 4HOSE OF YOU WHO ARE FAMILIAR WITH ** !BRAMS OTHER WORK CAN EX

PECT TO lND QUESTIONS UNANSWERED

TURNS TWISTED AND BE FORCED TO READ BETWEEN THE LINES #LOVERlELD NEVER CHOOSES TO EXPLAIN ITS MONSTER S AR RIVAL ONE MOMENT ALL IS WELL THE NEXT IT S SUDDENLY THERE AND AS NOT ED IN THE lLM hIT S WINNINGv 4HIS lLM IS INTENDED TO SCARE NOT EDU CATE AND CONSTANT FEAR THAT LINGERS THROUGHOUT 7ITH OBVIOUS SHADES OF THIS lLM BIZARRELY STARTS TO FEEL LIKE SOMETHING THAT COULD HAPPEN

&RANTIC FOOTAGE TAKEN FROM THE PER SPECTIVES OF NORMAL INDIVIDUALS AND A PRIMAL FEAR OF THE MONSTER ITSELF MAKES THIS lLM WELL WORTH ITS MON EY 4HOSE WHO SUFFER FROM MOTION SICKNESS BE WARNED THIS MAY NOT BE THE lLM FOR YOU (OWEVER UN LESS YOU GO AND SEE IT YOU WILL HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED ANYTHING LIKE #LO VERlELD BEFORE !NDY 3TAFFORD

-ATT 2EEVES TALKS FAST !T THE PRESS CONFERENCE IN THE BELLY OF ,ON DON S CHIC 3OHO SCREENING ROOMS

HE S WILLING AND EAGER TO WAX LYRI CAL ABOUT HIS LATEST MOVIE #LOVER lELD WHICH HAS CAUSED AN INTERNET PHENOMENON ALMOST AS BIG AS ITS ACTUAL MONSTER 2EEVES SEEMS CONlDENT THAT HIS lLM IS OF ITS TIME AND THAT THE DESTRUCTION OF .EW 9ORK BY SOME UNKNOWN FORCE IS CERTAINLY TOPI CAL h7E WERE VERY CONSCIOUS OF IT !LL REALLY INTERESTING GENRE lLMS SEEM TO REmECT THE ANXIETY OF THE TIME IN WHICH THEY WERE MADE

THEY REmECT OUR DEEP SEEDED FEARS v 4HE WAY #LOVERlELD ACHIEVES THIS MODERN FEEL IS ALSO WHAT MAKES IT UNIQUE ITS hULTRA REALISTIC POINT OF VIEWv KEEPING US AS CLAUSTROPHOBI CALLY CLOSE TO THE ACTION 2EEVES AC CEPTS THAT A @REALISTIC MONSTER MOV IE IS SOMETHING OF A PARADOX h4O TAKE SOMETHING AS RIDICULOUS AS A FT MONSTER ATTACKING .9 AND TRYING TO DEPICT IT WITH A LEVEL OF REALISM SEEMS LIKE A STRANGE IDEA 4HAT WAS THE FUN OF IT THAT WAS THE REAL CHALLENGEv 7HETHER OR NOT HE SUCCEEDS IN THAT CHALLENGE IS FOR VIEWERS TO DECIDE HOWEVER #LOVERlELD HAS CER TAINLY BROUGHT A LOT OF NEW IDEAS TO THE CINEMATIC TABLE )N OTHER WORDS BELIEVE THE HYPE 0AUL "OND

#INElLE $EAD -AN S 3HOES

3HANE -EADOWS GRITTY -IDLANDS TALE OF REVENGE AND SMALL TOWN CRIME IS TO "RITISH CINEMA WHAT THE LIKES OF "ONNIE AND #LYDE AND %ASY 2IDER WERE TO (OLLYWOOD .OW ES TABLISHED AS ONE OF "RITAIN S BEST

YOUNG DIRECTING TALENTS -EADOWS

CREATES A VISCERAL AND STUNNING EXPERIENCE IN $EAD -AN S 3HOES

SHOWING THE UNCONTROLLABLE LIM ITS OF HUMAN NATURE (ERE "OURNE 5LTIMATUM STAR 0ADDY #ONSIDINE EMBODIES THE COLD VENGEFUL 2I CHARD WHO UPON RETURNING FROM

THE ARMY HAS SOME OLD SCORES TO SETTLE )T IS NOT ONLY THE SHEER POIGN ANCY OF THE VIOLENCE IN $EAD -AN S 3HOES BUT THE lNAL CAPTIVATING REVELATION AT THE END THAT MAKES THE lLM A TESTAMENT TO THE POSSI

BILITIES WITHIN INDEPENDENT "RITISH lLM 7ITH A BUDGET OF NO MORE THAN a

-EADOWS SUPERBLY PROVIDES A BITTER SWEET BEAUTY IN THE lLM (E GIVES THE VIEWER AN HOUR AND A HALF OF PURE "RITISH GRIT

LEAVING YOU MOMENTARILY SPEECH LESS AND IN AWE OF SOMETHING SO ENTHRALLING 4HIS IS NOT TO SAY THE lLM DOESN T HAVE A LIGHTER SIDE (U MOUR IS EVOKED THROUGHOUT WHICH GIVES #ONSIDINE S CHARACTER AN EVEN DEEPER MORE BROODING DEPTH AS THE WORRYINGLY MERCILESS 2ICHARD -EADOWS MOST RECENT PART BIOGRAPHICAL lLM 4HIS )S %NGLAND IS ANOTHER FANTASTIC INSTANCE OF GREAT "RITISH lLMMAKING %MPLOYING THE SAME RUTHLESSLY REALISTIC INDEPEND ENT TECHNIQUES WITH A lNE LINE BE TWEEN HUMOUR AND VIOLENCE 4HIS IS %NGLAND IS WELL WORTH A WATCH .OT AN ENTIRELY UNDISCOVERED GEM BY ANY MEANS $EAD -AN S 3HOES IS A lLM WITH A STRONG FOL

LOWING BUT IS DElNITELY DESERVING OF MORE FANS )N YEARS TO COME PEO PLE SHALL LOOK BACK ON IT AS ONE OF THE BEST OF A BATCH OF INDEPENDENT "RITISH lLMS AND RIGHTLY SO "EGIN NING TO END $EAD -AN S 3HOES WILL KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF 0AUL #OOK

/THER 3CREENS

*UNO $IR *ASON 2EITMAN 2ELEASED $IRECTOR *ASON 2EITMAN S CHARMING @INDIE mICK TACKLES THE ISSUES OF UN DERAGE PREGNANCY AND LIFE CHANGING DECISIONS WHEN YEAR OLD *UNO -AC'UFF %LLEN 0AGE lNDS HERSELF hUP THE SPOUTv AFTER A mEETING TRYST WITH BEST FRIEND AND BAND MATE 0AULIE "LEEKER -ICHAEL #ERA 4HE FOLLOWING YEAR OF *UNO S LIFE DEPICTS THE STRENGTH OF FRIENDSHIP THE HIGHS AND LOWS THAT LOVE CAN BRING AND FUNDAMENTALLY THE ADOLESCENT JOUR NEY OF GROWING UP 0AGE FOLLOWING A CHILLING PER FORMANCE IN (ARD #ANDY CAPTURES THE RAMBUNCTIOUS ENERGY OF *UNO WHILST PORTRAYING HER VULNERABIL ITY mAWLESSLY PROVING THAT SHE IS

A FRESH TALENT FOR 7ITH EX CEPTIONAL PERFORMANCES FROM THE SUPPORTING CAST AND A BRILLIANTLY QUIRKY SOUNDTRACK *UNO HAS THE MAKINGS OF A CULT CLASSIC 3ADLY #ERA IS VERY MUCH A SUP PORTING ROLE WITHIN THE PIECE !FTER BEING THE BEST THING TO COME FROM *UDD !PATOW S 3UPERBAD HE POR TRAYS THE AWKWARDNESS OF 0AULIE WITH ENOUGH CHARM TO CONVINCE GIRLS EVERYWHERE THAT THEY WANT THEIR OWN GEEK IN GOLDEN SHORTS )T BEGINS WITH A CHAIR IT ENDS WITH A CHAIR AND THE MINUTES IN BETWEEN DEPICT ONE OF THE MOST WITTY AND HEART WARMING LOVE STO RIES TO REACH OUR CINEMAS OVER RE CENT YEARS "ETH $AVISON

$ElNITELY -AYBE $IR !DAM "ROOKS 2ELEASED $ElNITELY -AYBE IS DElNITELY A RE FRESHING TRANSFORMATION OF THE STANDARD ROM COM FORMULA 2YAN 2EYNOLDS STARS AS A LOVEABLE DIVORCEE TRYING TO EXPLAIN TO HIS SPARKLINGLY INQUISITIVE DAUGHTER !BIGAIL "RES LIN FROM ,ITTLE -ISS 3UNSHINE THE STORY OF HIS FAILED LOVE LIFE AND WHICH OF HIS LOVE INTERESTS IS ACTU ALLY HER MOTHER 4HE lLM FOLLOWS THE STORY HE TELLS HIS DAUGHTER IN THE ANTICIPA TION OF A HAPPY ENDING WITH EITHER %LIZABETH "ANKS HIS COLLEGE SWEET HEART )SLA &ISHER A CLOSE FRIEND

OR JOURNALIST 2ACHEL 7EISZ ALL IN THE RUNNING TO BE THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE

BUT WHO WILL IT BE IN THE END

&ILM .EWS ,ATEST 7ALL % 4RAILER ! BRAND SPANKING NEW TRAILER FOR 0IXAR S NEXT PROJECT 7ALL %

HAS HIT THE INTERNET )T LOOKS LIKE ONCE AGAIN THE #') WIZARDS HAVE OUT DONE THEMSELVES AND 7ALL % HIM ITSELF SEEMS LIKE A BRILLIANTLY INQUISITIVE LITTLE ROBOT DESPITE NOT HAVING A FACE ! LARGE AMOUNT OF THE lLM IS SAID TO BE SILENT FOL LOWING 7ALL % AS HE CLEANS UP A DESERTED EARTH SO THE IMPORTANCE OF THE VISUAL HUMOUR WILL BE MAS SIVE 7E LL BE ABLE TO SEE IF IT WORKS ON *ULY TH

/SCAR .EWS !LTHOUGH IT IS MOSTLY TOLD LOOK ING BACK INTO THE PAST THIS DOES NOT DETRACT FROM THE STORY INSTEAD ENHANCING WHAT IS BY NO MEANS A SAME OLD ROMANTIC COMEDY 2YAN 2EYNOLDS SHINES IN HIS ROLE ENSUR ING THAT HIS 6AN 7ILDER DAYS ARE PUT lRMLY BEHIND HIM 4HE PLOT WITH THE THREE VERY DIFFERENT LOVE INTERESTS DElNITELY KEEPS VIEWERS ABSORBED IN THE lLM

AS DO THE CHARACTERS EVEN THE OC CASIONALLY PRECOCIOUS -IA !BIGAIL "RESLIN 4HIS MINUTE DETAIL ASIDE $El NITELY -AYBE IS AN ULTIMATELY UPLIFT ING FEEL GOOD lLM WHICH WELL LIVES UP TO AND EVEN EXCEEDS CHICK mICK STANDARDS WITH LAUGHS AND TEAR JERKERS APLENTY #OLETTE ,ILFORD

4HE LATEST NEWS IS THAT THE WRITERS AND lLM PRODUCERS HAVE MADE A BREAKTHROUGH AND ARE CLOSE TO RE SOLVING THE ONGOING WRITERS STRIKE 4HIS MAY MEAN THE /SCARS GO AHEAD AS FULLY INTENDED BUT WITHOUT THE TRADITIONAL 6ANITY &AIR AFTER PARTY

WHICH IT WAS ANNOUNCED WILL NOT GO AHEAD IN SUPPORT OF THE WRITERS

4ERMINATOR -ANY HAVE BEEN SCEPTICAL ABOUT THE ANNOUNCEMENT OF ANOTHER 4ERMINATOR lLM TO BE DIRECTED BY -C' (OWEVER WHEN IT WAS AN NOUNCED THAT #HRISTIAN "ALE WILL BE CAST AS *OHN #ONNOR THERE WAS CAUSE FOR OPTIMISM .OW -C' HAS ANNOUNCED THAT HE WOULD LIKE *OSH "ROLIN TO PLAY THE NEW 4ERMI NATOR ITSELF THIS COULD BE ONE TO WATCH OUT FOR !NDY *UDSON

!CCES !LL !REAS 4HERE 7ILL "E "LOOD $IR 0AUL 4HOMAS !NDERSON 2ELEASED )NSPIRED BY 5PTON 3INCLAIR S NOVEL /IL THIS SPRAWLING EPIC FOLLOWS THE RISE OF RUGGED PROSPECTOR $ANIEL 0LAINVIEW !FTER RECEIVING A MYSTE RIOUS TIP FROM 0AUL 3UNDAY ABOUT HIS FAMILY HOME 0LAINVIEW AND HIS YOUNG SON ( 7 HEAD OUT TO ,ITTLE "OSTON A SMALL #ALIFORNIAN TOWN WITH AN OCEAN OF OIL SITTING UNDER IT 3UNDAY S PREACHER BROTHER %LI 0AUL $ANO RELUCTANTLY ACCEPTS THE AD VANCES TO DRILL ON HIS FATHER S LAND AND THE 0LAINVIEWS HIT IT RICH WITH

THE STRIKE OF A LIFETIME 4HERE 7ILL "E "LOOD IS A BLEAK AND COMPLEX lLM AND CERTAINLY NOT FOR THE CINEMA GOER WHO IS LOOKING FOR LIGHT ENTERTAINMENT BUT IF YOU DECIDE TO SEE IT YOU WILL REAP THE REWARDS 0AUL 4HOMAS !NDERSON BEAUTIFULLY EXCAVATES THE GREED AND CORRUPTION BEHIND THE PURSUIT OF THE !MERICAN DREAM AND SUCCEEDS IN CREATING AN INTENSE MOVING AND VISUALLY STUNNING lLM 4O CLAIM 0LAINVIEW IS AN EVIL MAN AS SOME REVIEWS HAVE WOULD BE FAR TOO SIMPLE $AY ,EWIS CREATES A CHARACTER SO MULTI FACETED THAT IT S HARD TO PIN HIM DOWN BUT IT IS HIS

AMBIGUITY THAT ADDS TO THE DEPTH OF THE lLM (E S AN OIL MAN AS HE LIKES TO REMIND US AND WITH THAT TITLE DECEPTION AND CORRUPTION IN EVITABLY SEEP INTO HIM TAINTING HIS LIFE AND RELATIONSHIPS BEYOND FORE SEEABLE REPAIR $AY ,EWIS IS AT HIS BEST MANAGING TO KEEP THE GLIMMER OF 0LAINVIEW S REDEMPTION RIGHT UP TILL THE END WITH PRECISION PROVING YET AGAIN WHAT A POWERFUL FORCE HIS ACTING CAN BE 4HERE 7ILL "E "LOOD IS

IN THIS REVIEWER S MIND A CINEMATIC MASTERPIECE .ATASHA +UNDAIKER

$ANIEL $AY ,EWIS 1UESTIONS !NSWERS 7HAT PARTICULAR CHALLENGES DID YOU FACE ON 4HERE 7ILL "E "LOOD $AY ,EWIS h) CAN NEVER IDENTIFY ONE AREA OF A PIECE OF WORK AS OP POSED TO ANOTHER 4O WHATEVER EX TENT ) M ABLE TO ASSESS MY CONTRIBU TION AT THE VERY BEGINNING HAVING FELT THE PULL OF THE ORBIT OF ANOTHER WORLD ) TRY TO STEP BACKWARDS AND ASK MYSELF IF ) CAN SERVE THAT STORY AS THE PERSON ) M GOING TO BE TELLING THAT STORY WITH v

7HERE DID 0LAINVIEW S VOICE COME FROM $AY ,EWIS h) DIDN T KNOW WHAT ) WAS LOOKING FOR AND AS FAR AS POS SIBLE ) TRY NOT TO DISMEMBER THE LIFE OF A MAN INTO SEPARATE PARTS PHYSI CAL OR SPIRITUAL OR VOCAL !S FAR AS POSSIBLE AND IT MAY JUST BE A FORM OF KIDOLOGY ) TRY TO ALLOW THAT LIFE TO REVEAL ITSELF IN SOME WAY AS IF ) DON T REALLY HAVE MUCH TO DO WITH IT "UT NEARLY ALWAYS IT COMES WITH HEARING A VOICE IN MY MIND S EAR v

7HAT WAS YOUR REACTION TO SO MANY PAGES WITHOUT DIALOGUE $AY ,EWIS h) TURNED PAGE AFTER PAGE AND THOUGHT @HOW LONG CAN HE KEEP THIS GOING FOR 4HERE WAS SOMETHING ALMOST CHEEKY ABOUT IT

BUT DELIGHTFUL AND TRUE THAT THE LIFE OF THIS MAN IN THIS SITUATION COULD BE REVEALED IN SUCH A WAY THAT YOU KNEW EVERYTHING THAT YOU NEEDED TO KNOW ABOUT HIM AT THAT STAGE IN HIS LIFE WITHOUT EVER SAYING A WORD ) JUST THOUGHT THERE WAS SOMETHING QUITE REMARKABLE ABOUT THAT v

$6$ 2ELEASES

#ONTROL $IR !NTON #ORBIJN !NY lLM HOPING TO BE A WORTHY AND lTTING BIOPIC TO TROUBLED *OY $IVISION SINGER )AN #URTIS WAS GO ING TO NEED AN EXCELLENT ACTOR TO PLAY THE MAN HIMSELF &ORTUNATELY

3AM 2ILEY lTS THE JOB PERFECTLY (E DOES THIS BY KNOWING BOTH WHEN TO LET GO AND GET INTO THE MUSIC DURING THE GIG SCENES AC TUALLY PERFORMED BY THE CAST AND ALSO WHEN TO BE CLOSED QUIET AND TROUBLED #ONTROL IS MUCH MORE INTERESTED IN #URTIS HIMSELF RA THEN THAN THE WORLD S REACTION TO HIM AND IS ALL THE BETTER FOR THIS

7E CONCENTRATE ON #URTIS STEADY DOWNWARD SPIRAL AS HE STRUGGLES TO COPE WITH EPILEPSY ALCOHOL l DELITY AND THE PRESSURE OF BEING A BAND FRONTMAN AT HIS TENDER AGE 4HIS FOCUS ON #URTIS MEANS THAT THE REST OF THE BAND DON T GET MUCH OF A LOOK IN AND WE lND OUT FRUSTRATINGLY LITTLE ABOUT THE PEOPLE AROUND #URTIS "UT 2ILEY IS GOOD ENOUGH THAT THIS DOESN T MATTER AND THE lLM IS SHOT THREW WITH HIS BIZARRE MIX OF DARK HU MOUR AND DEPRESSION 9OU DON T NEED TO BE A *OY $IVISION NUT TO BE MOVED BY #ONTROL !NDY *UDSON

4HE +INGDOM $IR 0ETER "ERG &OLLOWING A HORRENDOUS ATTACK ON A HOUSING COMPOUND THAT LEAVES MANY PEOPLE DEAD 3PECIAL !GENT 2ON &LEURY *AMIE &OXX DEMANDS THAT &") AGENTS BE ALLOWED INTO 2IY ADH TO INVESTIGATE .AVIGATING 3AUDI POLITICS AND CULTURAL RESTRAINTS THE AGENTS ATTEMPT TO TRACK DOWN THE PERPETRATOR "ASED ON THE REAL TER RORIST ATTACKS IN 2IYADH IN 4HE +INGDOM PORTRAYS AN UNEXPECTEDLY PERSONAL VIEW OF THE COMPLEXITIES OF LIFE IN 3AUDI !RABIA FOR BOTH NATIVES AND 7ESTERNERS 4HIS IS A BRILLIANT ACTION lLM BUT

!TONEMENT

IT IS CLEAR FROM THE START THAT IT IS NOT GOING TO BE COMFORTABLE VIEWING THE OPENING ATTACK AND SUBSEQUENT KILL INGS ARE GRITTY AND VISCERAL 4HE FAST PACED ACTION HEIGHTENS THE SENSE OF IMMEDIACY THAT PERMEATES THE AGENTS INVESTIGATION AND THEIR VUL NERABILITY IN HOSTILE TERRITORY MAKES YOU CRINGE IN MORBID ANTICIPATION &OXX PORTRAYS THE AWKWARDNESS OF WORKING IN UNFAMILIAR POLITICAL TERRITORY WELL BUT !SHRAF "ARHOUM

AS #OLONEL !L 'HAZI OUTPERFORMS THANKS TO HIS SENSITIVE PORTRAYAL OF THE DIFlCULT SOCIETAL POSITIONS THAT 3AUDI POLICE HOLD +IMBERLEY 7ALSH

"ASED ON )AN -C%WAN S NOVEL !TONE MENT IS SUPERBLY ADAPTED *AMES -C!VOY SHINES IN THIS lLM AS 2OB BIE 4URNER WHO IS FALSELY CONVICTED FOR RAPE AND IS FORCED TO ENLIST 7ITH DIRECTOR *OE 7RIGHT S ASSURED DIREC TION AND THE BEAUTIFUL CINEMATOG RAPHY WHICH ADD A DEPTH TO THIS TOUCHING LOVE STORY !TONEMENT SUC CEDS IN BECOMING AN UNFORGETTABLE AND BRILLIANT MOVIE

%AGLE 6S 3HARK 3TARRING *ERMAINE #LEMENT OF &LIGHT OF THE #ONCHORDS FAME %A GLE 6S 3HARK TELLS THE STORY OF TWO SOCIAL MISlTS IN .EW :EALAND !T MINUTES LONG IT S A QUICK TREAT AND INTERESTING TAKE ON THE ROMANTIC COMEDY GENRE WITH THE PERFORM ANCE OF ,OREN (ORSLEY AS THE LEADING LADY A PARTICULAR HIGHLIGHT

#ALLING !LL &ILM &ANS 2EMAKE YOUR FAVOURITE lLM IN MINUTES OR LESS AND WIN A TRIP TO (OLLYWOOD

.ATIONAL 4REASURE "OOK OF 3ECRETS

.IC #AGE MAKES A RETURN AS TREAS URE HUNTER "EN 'ATES IN HIS lRST EVER SEQUEL lLM 7HEN -ITCH 7ILKINSON %D (ARRIS REVEALS A MISSING PAGE FROM THE DIARY OF *OHN 7ILKES "OOTH ALLEGEDLY LINK ING "EN S GREAT GREAT GRANDFATHER TO THE ,INCOLN ASSASSINATION PLOT "EN AND HIS FATHER 0ATRICK *ON 6OIGHT EMBARK ON A JOURNEY TO CLEAR THEIR FAMILY S NAME 4HE SECOND INSTALMENT OF THE .ATIONAL 4REASURE FRANCHISE DEl NITELY UPS THE ANTI WITH DIRECTOR )F THERE REALLY WAS A BOOK OF SECRETS PASSED DOWN FROM 0RESIDENT TO 0RESIDENT WHICH PAGE WOULD YOU TURN TO lRST .IC #AGE 4HERE S ONLY TWO THAT ) M AWARE OF n 2OSWELL AND THE +ENNEY ASSASSINATION

*ON 4URTELTAUB -Y GUESS IS THAT -ONICA WASN T THE ONLY ONE 4HERE S BOUND TO BE SOME PHONE NUMBERS THROWN IN THERE !ND BELIEVE ME #LINTON WASN T THE ONLY ONE

*ON 4URTELTAUB BRINGING IN (ELEN -IRREN AND %D (ARRIS TO ADD A BIT OF SPICE AS WELL AS TAKING US TO SEE THE SIGHTS OF ,ONDON AND 0ARIS &ILMS LIKE THESE TEND TO BRING OUT THE CHILD IN YOU .O MATTER HOW CRITICAL YOU FEEL LIKE BEING

YOU CAN T HELP BUT GET SWEPT UP IN THE ENJOYMENT OF A TREASURE HUNT ESPECIALLY ONE THAT RELIES SO HEAV ILY ON HISTORICAL FACTS WHICH YOU CAN GOOGLE AFTERWARDS %ACH NEW SCHEME OF "ATES GETS MORE AND MORE LUDICROUS FROM

BREAKING INTO "UCKINGHAM 0AL ACE TO n WAIT FOR IT n KIDNAPPING THE 53 0RESIDENT AND THOUGH YOU KNOW IT WOULD NEVER BE POSSIBLE

THE lLM REMAINS ENTERTAINING AND IT S A HELL OF A LOT FUNNIER THAN ITS PREDECESSOR !T THE END OF THE DAY

IT S A GOOD FAMILY lLM THAT ADULTS CAN HAPPILY ENDURE AND EVEN EN JOY WHILE THE LITTLE ONES ARE HAVING A lELD DAY WITH THE lLM .ATASHA +UNDAIKER

4HIS IS YOUR lFTH COLLABORATION WITH *ERRY "RUCKHEIMER (OW HAS YOUR FRIENDSHIP AND WORKING RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPED SINCE YOUR lRST lLM .IC #AGE *ERRY IS SOMEONE WHO REALLY CARES ABOUT HIS MOVIES AND HE ALWAYS GETS THE BEST TALENT TO WORK ON THEM (E ALWAYS GETS PEOPLE TO GO THROUGH THE SCRIPT AND BE VERY THOROUGH WITH THEM SO THEY MAKE SENSE AND MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY (E ALSO MADE IT CLEAR FROM THE BEGIN NING ON 4HE 2OCK THAT HE WANTS THE ACTORS TO CONTRIBUTE AND COLLABO RATE IDEAS AND HE LEAVES A LOT OF ROOM FOR THAT 7ORKING WITH *ERRY IS NOT UNLIKE HIS LOGO WHERE YOU SEE THE LIGHTNING AND IT GETS CAUGHT (IS lLMS ARE LIKE CAPTURING LIGHTNING IN A BOTTLE 4HERE S A BUZZ AND ENERGY TO THE WORK WE VE DONE TOGETHER WHICH IS WHY WE KEEP COMING BACK TO EACH OTHER

4O CELEBRATE THE RELEASE OF "E +IND 2EWIND 0ATHE IS INVITING lLM FANS ACROSS THE 5+ TO REMAKE THEIR FAVOURITE lLMS FOR A CHANCE TO WIN LOADS OF ,' ENTERTAINMENT EQUIPMENT AND A TRIP TO (OLLYWOOD THE HOME OF MOVIEMAKING 9OUR HOMEMADE REMAKE CAN BE A SHORTENED VERSION OF ANY lLM JUST THE TRAILER OR JUST A SCENE BUT MUST BE UNDER MINUTES IN LENGTH 4HE BEST lLMS SUBMITTED WILL BE JUDGED BY -ICHEL 'ONDRY "E +IND 2EWIND S DIRECTOR WHO WILL SELECT THE WINNER BASED ON ITS CREATIVITY AND HUMOUR )N "E +IND 2EWIND *ERRY "LACK BECOMES MAGNETIZED WHILE TRYING TO SABOTAGE THE POWER PLANT THAT HE BELIEVES IS MELTING HIS BRAIN AND ACCIDENTALLY ERASES ALL THE TAPES IN THE OLD FASHIONED VIDEO STORE WHERE HIS BEST FRIEND -IKE -OS $EF WORKS 4O KEEP THE FEW CUS TOMERS HAPPY *ERRY AND -IKE DECIDE TO REMAKE ONE OF THE ERASED MOVIES IN *ERRY S JUNKYARD 4O THEIR ASTONISHMENT THEIR UNIQUE VER SION OF THE MOVIE IS A HIT #HECK OUT THE "E +IND 2EWIND TRAILER AT WWW BEKINDREWIND CO UK "E +IND 2EWIND IS RELEASED IN CINEMAS NATIONWIDE ON &EBRUARY ND AND IS DISTRIBUTED BY 0ATHE $ISTRIBUTION

)T S A #HICK &LICK 7ITH 6ALENTINE S $AY HERE MANY OF YOU WILL BE PLANNING THE PERFECT DATE "UT THE RISE OF @CHICK mICKS WILL SEND MANY GUYS mEEING FROM THE CINEMA +AYLEIGH -OORE INVESTIGATES THE CHANGING NATURE OF THE CHICK mICK GENRE @9OU KNOW EVEN THOUGH WE VE WATCHED 0RETTY 7OMAN LIKE THIRTY SIX TIMES ) NEVER GET TIRED OF MAK ING FUN OF IT 2OMY AND -ICHELLE S (IGH 3CHOOL 2EUNION

)

MAGINE THE SCENE YOU VE JUST MANAGED TO CONVINCE THE GIRL OF YOUR DREAMS TO GO ON A DATE WITH YOU TO THE CINEMA "UT THEN SHE SUGGESTS YOU GO AND SEEx A CHICK mICK )NDEED THE THOUGHT OF SPEND ING TWO HOURS SURROUNDED BY WOMEN DROOLING OVER THE LATEST (OLLYWOOD HUNK AS HE ATTEMPTS TO WIN OVER THE SCHOOL GEEK WHO

ONCE GIVEN A HAIR CUT AND CHANGE OF CLOTHES JUST SO HAPPENS TO LOOK LIKE SHE HAS JUST WALKED OFF THE CAT WALK IS A GUY S WORST NIGHTMARE (OWEVER IN REALITY THIS EXAMPLE IS MERELY A STEREOTYPE 4HE MAJOR ITY OF CHICK mICK lLMS TODAY CON CERN FAR MORE THAN JUST WHETHER THE GUY GETS THE GIRL 4HE TERM @CHICK mICK IS SAID TO HAVE DERIVED FROM THE LATE S TO EARLY S WHEN lLMS SUCH AS $IRTY $ANCING "EACHES AND 0RET TY 7OMAN EMERGED WITH NAÕVE YOUNG HEROINES AS THEIR PRIMARY FOCUS 4HESE EXAMPLES ARE CATEGO RISED ACCORDING TO THEIR PARTICULAR AUDIENCE YOUNG WOMEN (OWEV ER TODAY THE TERM @CHICK mICK CAN BE CONSIDERED DEROGATORY 7HEN USED TO DESCRIBE A lLM IT INSTANT LY ALIENATES THE MAJORITY OF CIN EMA GOERS PROMPTING PRODUCTION COMPANIES TO NOW PUBLICISE THESE lLMS AS @ROMANTIC COMEDIES 4HE DECISION TO COMBINE THE @COMEDY GENRE WITH @ROMANCE HAS PRODUCED SUCH lLMS AS THE RE CENT SUMMER SMASH +NOCKED 5P 4HE lLM CASTS +ATHERINE (EIGL OF

2OSWELL AND 'REY S !NATOMY FAME AS A BEAUTIFUL GIRL DETERMINED TO FUL lL HER AMBITION TO BECOME A TEL EVISION PRESENTER 5NFORTUNATELY

AFTER A ONE NIGHT STAND WITH 3ETH 2OGEN SHE FALLS PREGNANT 4HE lLM EFFECTIVELY INTERTWINES A SERIOUS IS SUE WITH HUMOUR LEAVING MEN WITH AN ENGRAINED NOTE IN THEIR MINDS NEVER TO AGREE WHEN THEIR HEAVILY PREGNANT GIRLFRIEND ASKS THEM IF SHE LOOKS FAT 9ET THE DECISION TO MAKE WHAT IS EFFECTIVELY A ROMANCE THAT AP PEALS TO BOTH SEXES DEMONSTRATES HOW THE CHICK mICK GENRE IS CHANG ING 4HE CASTING OF +ATHERINE (EIGL FOR ONE SIGNIlES HOW THE MALE POPULATION ARE CONSIDERED TO PLAY A VITAL ROLE IN BOX OFlCE lGURES 4HE IMMENSE SUCCESS OF -EAN 'IRLS PROVES HOW A lLM INI TIALLY AIMED AT TEENAGE GIRLS CAN AT TRACT A STRONG MALE FOLLOWING DUE TO THE CASTING OF ,INDSAY ,OHAN 4HEREFORE IF IT TAKES THE CASTING OF THE NEXT 3CARLETT *OHANSSON IN A SHORT SKIRT TO MAKE YOUR BOYFRIEND WATCH A CHICK mICK WITH YOU THEN YOU MAY JUST HAVE TO MAKE THAT SACRIlCE "UT FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO SIM PLY AREN T THAT SUPERlCIAL THEN MAYBE IT SHOULD BE CONSIDERED HOW THE MAJORITY OF CHICK mICK lLMS NOW CONCERN FAR MORE THAN WHETHER THE HERO AND HEROINE GET IT TOGETHER AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER 7ILLIAM 3HAKESPEARE AND *ANE !USTEN HAVE BOTH PROVED HIGHLY INmUENTIAL FOR SCRIPTWRIT ERS 4HE RELEASE OF 4HINGS ) (ATE !BOUT 9OU 3HE S THE -AN AND "AZ ,UHRMANN S 2OMEO AND *ULIET PROVE THAT OLD "ILLY 3 STILL APPEALS TO A RANGE OF AUDIENCES 4HE PHE NOMENAL 3HAKESPEARE IN ,OVE WON SEVEN /SCARS WITH 'WYNETH

0ALTROW AS "EST !CTRESS 3IMILARLY

THE SUDDEN TREND TO RELEASE VARI OUS SPIN OFFS OF *ANE !USTEN S NOV ELS FOR EXAMPLE #LUELESS "RIDGET *ONES $IARY AND 4HE *ANE !USTEN "OOK #LUB REmECT HOW CLASSIC LIT ERATURE IS IMMENSELY SUCCESSFUL FOR THE CHICK mICK GENRE "Y COMPARING +NOCKED 5P WITH THE CLASSIC S MELODRAMA .OW 6OYAGER YOU CAN EASILY TRACE HOW THE TRADITIONAL CHICK mICK HAS BEEN ADAPTED FOR MODERN AUDI ENCES (ERE "ETTE $AVIS CHARACTER #HARLOTTE IS AN UGLY SPINSTER WHO UNDERGOES A DRAMATIC TRANSFORMA TION TO BECOME A BEAUTIFUL SOCIAL

ITE 3ETH 2OGEN S CHARACTER "EN UN DERGOES A SIMILAR CHANGE ALTHOUGH HIS IS EVIDENTLY LESS PHYSICAL (IS DECISION TO SECURE A JOB STOP TAK ING DRUGS AND GENERALLY GROW UP ECHOES PREVIOUS CHICK mICKS ALL OF WHICH INCLUDE THE CLASSIC @PERSON AL TRANSFORMATION FORMULAE &OR EXAMPLE ,ANEY IN 3HE S !LL 4HAT

!NDIE IN 4HE $EVIL 7EARS 0RADA

#ADY IN -EAN 'IRLS %ACH OF THESE lLMS INCLUDE THIS CONVENTION 4HEREFORE WHY IS IT THAT MOST MEN SHUDDER AT THE THOUGHT OF WATCH ING A CHICK mICK 4HE PHENOMENAL SUCCESS OF +NOCKED 5P SUGGESTS THAT THE DISTINCTION OF WHAT IT IS

THAT TRULY DElNES A CHICK mICK IS SLOWLY BECOMING BLURRED -ANY MEN WILL STILL CLAIM THAT THE @ICKY LOVE STUFF IN CHICK mICKS WILL MAKE THEM SEEM @UNMACHO 9ET WITH lLMS SUCH AS +NOCKED 5P EMERGING AND lLM PRODUCTION COMPANIES CONTINUING TO CAST AND ADAPT SCREENPLAYS WITH THE MALE POPULATION IN MIND THEN THERE MAY BE A COMPROMISE AHEAD FOR COUPLES 4HE DEBATE WHEN THEY VISIT THE CINEMA WILL NO LONGER BE OVER WHETHER THE GUY HAS TO SIT THROUGH A CHICK mICK BUT WHETH ER THEY CHOOSE POPCORN OR ICE CREAM

3TRUGGLING FOR IDEAS FOR WHAT TO WATCH THIS 6ALENTINE S $AY (ERE S THE DElNITIVE GUIDE TO WHAT lLMS TO WATCH WITH THE GIRLS GUYS OR THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE "EST lLM TO WATCH ON A lRST DATE )N THEORY IT MIGHT BE A GOOD IDEA TO LET THE GIRL CHOOSE (OWEVER IF YOU SIMPLY CAN T BEAR TO SIT THROUGH -EAN 'IRLS OR ! 7ALK TO 2EMEMBER THEN MAYBE TRY 4HE "OURNE 5LTIMATUM OR *AMES "OND

THE PERFECT COMBINATION OF ACTION

SUSPENSE AND A BIT OF EYE CANDY FOR YOU BOTH

"EST lLM TO WATCH IN A RELATIONSHIP ! TRIP TO THE CINEMA IS COM MON FOR lRST DATES SO WHY NOT IMPRESS YOUR PARTNER BY RE LIV ING THAT MOMENT BY RENTING THE MOVIE YOU lRST SAW TOGETHER )F THAT SOUNDS JUST TOO CHEESY THEN WHY NOT BRING OUT A TRUE CLASSIC SUCH AS 0ULP &ICTION OR $ONNIE $ARKO

"EST lLM FOR A NIGHT IN WITH THE GIRLS )F YOU ARE FEEL ING A BIT DOWN THIS 6ALENTINE S $AY THEN WHY NOT MAKE A DATE WITH "EN AND *ERRY AND 4HE .OTEBOOK S 2YAN 'OSLING 2E LIVE THOSE JUICY CLIPS WITH HIM IN HIS ARMY UNIFORM HIS WHITE VEST AND OH YES WHEN HE S NOT WEAR ING MUCH OF ANYTHING 4HIS lLM IS GUARANTEED TO MAKE YOU LAUGH CRY AND BELIEVE ONCE AGAIN IN TRUE LOVE

"EST lLM FOR A NIGHT IN WITH THE BOYS 5SE THIS OP PORTUNITY TO WATCH THE MOST GRAPHIC DISGUSTING AND GRUESOME HORROR lLMS EVER YES WE MEAN 3AW 4HOUGH IF HORROR ISN T REALLY YOUR THING THEN MAYBE CHECK OUT *ESSICA !LBA IN 3IN #ITY OR 5MA 4HURMAN IN THE +ILL "ILL SERIES

"EST lLM TO WATCH WITH YOUR HOUSE MATES 7ITH A MIX TURE OF BOTH BOYS AND GIRLS

COMEDY IS THE WAY FORWARD 7HETH ER IT IS RE LIVING THOSE AWKWARD @DAD MOMENTS IN !MERICAN 0IE OR CRYING WITH LAUGHTER AT 3ETH 2OGEN CHAT TING UP +ATHERINE (EIGL IN +NOCKED 5P

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-ORAL #OMBAT 6IDEOGAME 6IOLENCE )N #OMPUTER 3PACE BECAME THE lRST COM MERCIALLY SOLD COIN OPERATED VIDEO GAME

BEATING THE MORE RENOWNED AND POPULAR 0ONG

BY A FULL YEAR 4HE PLAYER CONTROLLED A SMALL ROCKET SHIP AND ATTEMPTED TO SHOOT DOWN TWO SMALL mYING SAUCERS WHILST AVOIDING ENEMY LASER lRE 7HILE THIS EPIC SPACE BATTLE WAS IN FACT A SERIES OF WHITE LINES AND DOTS AGAINST A BLACK BACKGROUND MODERN DAY RELEASES FEA TURE HIGHLY REALISTIC GRAPHICS PRODUCED IN HIGH DElNITION 4HIS MASSIVE IMPROVEMENT IN VISU ALS HAS LED TO SOME OF THE MOST BREATHTAKING MOMENTS IN VIDEOGAME HISTORY EXPLORING THE COLOURFUL $ CASTLE IN -ARIO THE LUSH GREEN VALLEYS OF (ALO OR THE BEAUTIFUL SKIES OF THE !CE #OMBAT SERIES

(OWEVER IT HAS ALSO BROUGHT A MASSIVE IN CREASE IN THE AMOUNT OF REALISTIC VIOLENCE IN VIDEOGAMES GIVING VOICE TO THE OPINION THAT THE INCREASE IN MURDER DEATH AND HARM IN VIDEOGAMES IS DESENSITISING YOUNGER CHILDREN AND EVEN LEADING TO AN INCREASE IN VIOLENCE IN REAL LIFE "UT IS THIS A PROBLEM SENSATIONALISED

BY A RABID MEDIA HELL BENT ON GENERALISATIONS

OR A SERIOUS PROBLEM IN NEED OF GREATER GOV ERNMENT REGULATION -OST OF THE NEGATIVE PRESS REGARDING VID EOGAMES CAN BE ISOLATED TO A FEW REPETITIVE ISSUES WHICH UNFORTUNATELY ARE THEN MA NIPULATED BY THOSE WITH A RELIGIOUS OR POLITI CAL AGENDA TO PUSH &OR EXAMPLE IN THE 53

#HRISTIAN CONSERVATIVE LAWYER *ACK 4HOMPSON HAS BECOME A FAVOURITE @HATE lGURE FOR THE WORLDWIDE GAMING COMMUNITY THANKS TO HIS VOCAL OPPOSITION TO THE 'RAND 4HEFT !UTO SE RIES WHICH HE HAS DESCRIBED ON MULTIPLE OC CASIONS AS A @MURDER SIMULATOR -R 4HOMPSON HAS EVEN GONE AS FAR AS ATTEMPTING TO PROVE A LINK BETWEEN SOME OF THE RECENT 53 SCHOOL

'AMING 'REATS

2EZ

4RYING TO EXPLAIN 2EZ TO THE UNINITIATED IS A DAUNTING CHALLENGE )T IS QUITE POSSIBLY THE MOST SURREAL COMPUTER GAME IN EXISTENCE AND CAN BE CONSIDERED MORE AN EXPERIENCE THAN A GAME %SSENTIALLY A CLASSIC ON RAILS SHOOTER

DESIGNER 4ETSUYA -IZUGUCHI ADVANCED THIS BA SIC PLAY MECHANIC TO A NEW AND UNHERALDED STATE WITH MORE THAN A GLANCING ACKNOWLEDGE MENT TO CYBERPUNK CULTURE !S A DIGITAL AVATAR IN A COMPUTER NETWORK YOUR GOAL IS TO DESTROY THE CHAOTIC AND OMNIPOTENT SUPERCOMPUTER CONTROLLING THE TECHNOLOGICAL UNIVERSE YOU LIVE IN !PART FROM THE INCOMPREHENSIBLE PREMISE OUTLINED ABOVE THE GAME IS AN UNREMITTING PLEASURE 0ROGRESSION THROUGH A STAGE ES SENTIALLY @BUILDS THE UNIVERSE CONSTRUCTING A WORLD USING HIGHLY INTRICATE LIGHT SHOWS AND PATTERNS 4HIS IS IN TANDEM WITH THE IN DISPENSABLE SOUNDTRACK WHICH IS CONSTANTLY ENHANCED BASED UPON THE PLAYER S ACTIONS )N ADDITION TO A MULTITUDE OF SMALLER ENEMIES

EACH STAGE ENDS WITH A TRULY BEHEMOTHIAN BOSS BATTLE TESTING THE REACTIONS OF EVEN THE MOST SKILLED PLAYER )T IS THIS AUDIOVISUAL SYN AESTHESIA WHICH PROVIDES THE STIMULATION THAT MAKES 2EZ SO ENJOYABLE

0LAYED IN A DARK ROOM WITH THE VOLUME TURNED UP PLAYING 2EZ IS AN ECLECTIC BARRAGE UPON THE SENSES )T CAN ALSO TAKE ON KINAES THETIC PROPERTIES WHEN PLAYED WITH THE OP TIONAL @TRANCE VIBRATOR WHICH VIBRATES TO THE BEAT OF THE MUSIC AND IS PLACED BEHIND THE NECK OR BACK )T IS THIS PERIPHERAL WHICH HAS ACHIEVED LASTING INFAMY NOT LEAST FOR REPORTS OF FEMALE PLAYERS PLACING IT IN A NOVEL LOCA TION NO SERIOUSLY !N OBSCURE GAME 2EZ WAS EXTREMELY HARD TO ACQUIRE DUE TO LOW CIRCULATION (OWEVER RECENTLY IT HAS BEEN RE RELEASED ON 8BOX ,IVE !RCADE 2EMASTERED IN HI DElNITION A NEW GENERATION OF PLAYERS WILL NOW BE ABLE TO EXPERIENCE ITS UNIQUE ESOTERIC CHARMS +ARL $AVIES

SHOOTINGS AND VIDEOGAMES PLAYED BY THE PER PETRATORS OFTEN WITH ABSOLUTELY NO EVIDENCE TO SUPPORT HIS CLAIMS !ND UNFORTUNATELY SUCH WORDS ARE NOT EXCLUSIVE TO RELIGIOUS OR CONSERVATIVE lGURES RECENTLY 0RIME -INISTER 'ORDON "ROWN ALSO BLAMED VIDEOGAMES AMONG OTHER MEDIA FOR THE INCREASE IN "RITAIN S KNIFE CRIME /F COURSE THE CYNICS AMONG YOU MAY WONDER WHETHER BLAMING MODERN MEDIA IS JUST AN EASY WAY TO DISTRACT FROM THE MUCH GREATER SOCIAL PROB LEMS OF WIDESPREAD POVERTY THE BREAKDOWN IN COMMUNITY RELATIONS AND THE LACK OF RESPECT FOR THE AUTHORITIESx

3O HOW ABOUT THE FACTS !S OF NOW THERE ARE ABSOLUTELY NO CONCLUSIVE STUDIES THAT CAN LINK VIOLENCE IN VIDEOGAMES TO ACTUAL REAL LIFE VIOLENCE 4HERE ARE STUDIES THAT CLAIM TO SHOW THAT CHILDREN CAN BE DESENSITISED TO VIOLENCE THROUGH EXCESSIVE EXPOSURE TO IT IN THE ME DIA HOWEVER THE FACT THAT YOUNGSTERS SHOULD BE SHIELDED FROM CERTAIN EXTREMES IS ALREADY WELL DOCUMENTED AND ENFORCED THROUGH lLM RATINGS 46 WATERSHEDS AND THE LIKE -ANY OF THE GAMES TARGETED FOR BEING VIOLENT HAVE AL

READY RECEIVED CERTIlCATES AND IT IS ILLE GAL IN THE 5+ FOR GAMES TO BE SOLD TO PEOPLE UNDER THE AGE RATING PUNISHMENTS FOR WHICH ARE STRICTLY ENFORCED 3O IF KIDS CANNOT BE SOLD THESE GAMES WHY IS THIS ISSUE IN DISCUSSION AT ALL 4HE PROBLEM IS THAT OFTEN PARENTS PROVE THEIR OWN DOWNFALL -ANY PARENTS REGARD VID EOGAMES AS A CHILD S TOY AND ARE OFTEN NOT AWARE OF THE SOMETIMES SERIOUSLY GRAPHIC VIOLENT CONTENT THAT CAN BE FOUND IN MODERN TITLES SUCH AS 'RAND 4HEFT !UTO OR 'EARS OF 7AR 4HIS CREATES A SITUATION WHERE PARENTS ARE BUY ING THEIR CHILDREN GAMES THAT ARE TRULY UNSUIT ABLE FOR MINORS UNFORTUNATELY CIRCUMVENTING THE VERY PROTECTION THE RATING SYSTEM IS DE SIGNED TO AFFORD 5NTIL EDUCATION GIVEN TO PAR ENTS IS INCREASED AND STEPS ARE TAKEN TO ENSURE THAT VIOLENT ADULT RATED GAMES REMAIN IN THE HANDS OF ADULTS THESE ALARMIST AND MISLEAD ING TABLOID STORIES ARE SET TO CONTINUE 0AUL "YGRAVE

#ROSSWORD

!CROSS

$OWN

4WO 7EEKS x (UGH 'RANT l LM 0ERSON NOT POSSESSING MAGICAL ABILITIES IN (ARRY 0OTTER 3MILE SCORNFULLY 3EA FARING GLACIER 4HROUGH THE x 'LASS ,EWIS #ARROLL NOVEL 3IMBA S EVIL UNCLE IN 4HE ,ION +ING 4HE 5NION S CAMPUS SUPERMARKET ABBR )SLAMIC DENOMINATION 'ERMAN COMPOSER "RITISH ORGANISATION DEFENDING THE RIGHTS OF LEARNERS ABBR &ASTING BEFORE %ASTER 4O GET OLDER %ND OF A PEN 4HE DECADE OF 5%! S BIRTH 4WELFTH .IGHT CHARACTER 3OMETHING OF VALUE .ORFOLK COASTAL RESORT

#OMPANY BOYCOTTED BY STUDENTS AT 5%! .ICKNAME OF 0ETERBOROUGH 5NITED &#

+NITTED ITEM OF CLOTHING 3MALL WOODEN OUTHOUSE

0URPOSE (UMPHREY ACTOR IN #ASABLANCA 0LASTICINE PENGUIN 3UNDAY SISTER NEWSPAPER OF 4HE 'UARDIAN

4O GIVE IN TO POPULAR

OPINION 53 STATE PRUCHASED FROM 2USSIA 3PICY TOMATO BASED

SAUCE 5%! TELEVISION STATION "RITISH 0RIME -INISTER

#LUE

3UDOKU with

The Avenue Bookshop

21 Avenue Road, Norwich 01603 768720 Open 10am - 5pm, Mon to Sat

Sponsored by:

4O BE IN WITH A CHANCE OF WINNING A a VOUCHER TO SPEND AT 4HE !VENUE "OOKSHOP BRING YOUR COMPLETED ENTRY TO THE #ONCRETE OFl CE BY

.AME

%MAIL

(OW TO %NTER )N ORDER TO ENTER COMPETITIONS JUST l LL IN YOUR NAME AND EMAIL ADDRESS AND TAKE IT TO THE #ONCRETE OFl CE UPSTAIRS IN 5NION (OUSE /NCE IN THE (IVE GO UP THE STAIRS AND TURN BACK ON YOURSELF TO THE LEFT 4URN RIGHT BEFORE THE GLASS DOORS TO THE 5NION OFl CES AND THROUGH THE SINGLE DOOR BEFORE CONTINUING DOWN THE CORRIDOR 4URN RIGHT AT THE END THROUGH THE DOOR AND THE #ONCRETE OFl CE IS IMMEDIATELY ON YOUR LEFT

3EE MAP ON LEFT

0RIZE 1UIZ 4HIS WEEK WE HAVE AN ABSOLUTELY BRIL LIANT PRIZE TO GIVE AWAY )N ASSOCIATION WITH THE NEW l LM *UNO

WE RE GIVING YOU THE CHANCE TO GET YOUR HANDS ON SOME EXCLUSIVE MERCHANDISE

&IND THAT SPECIAL SOMETHING THIS 6ALENTINE S AT "ORDERS

4HE PRIZE INCLUDES A *UNO BAG POSTER

4 SHIRT GIANT PLASTIC CUP AND A BRILLIANT HAMBURGER TELEPHONE 4O BE IN WITH A CHANCE OF WINNING JUST EMAIL THE ANSWER TO THE FOLLOWING QUES TION TO CONCRETE EVENT UEA AC UK BY TH &EBRUARY

"ORDERS HAVE THE LARGEST SELECTION OF BOOKS MAGAZINES

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4O BE IN WITH A CHANCE OF WINNING A a "ORDERS VOUCHER BRING A CORRECTLY COMPLETED 3UDOKU TO THE #ONCRETE OFl CE BY

B :ACH "RAFF *ENNIFER !NISTON

.AME %MAIL

%!3)%2

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*UNO OUT IN CINEMAS NOW

C *ASON "ATEMAN *ENNIFER 'ARNER