The Event - Issue 217

4HE %VENT

7E ASK 7HAT CAN YOU DO THIS HOLIDAY 4URN TO THE EXCLUSIVE 3UMMER PULL OUT TO lND OUT 0LUS 4AKE AN ARTISTIC TOUR OF .ORWICH !ND 7E CHAT TO EDITORS FROM #OSMO AND .-%

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) HAVE HAD SO MANY DIFFERENT FEELINGS OVER THE LAST FEW WEEKS ) FELT JOY WHEN ) WAS GIVEN THE JOB AS #ONCRETE %DITOR FOR NEXT YEAR ) FELT CONm ICTED WHEN WE HAD TO SIT DOWN AND DECIDE WHO WAS GOING TO BE ON THE NEW EDITORIAL TEAM "UT MOST OF ALL ) HAVE FELT SADNESS EVERY TIME ) THINK OF ALL THE PEOPLE THAT WILL BE LEAVING #ON CRETE AND 4HE %VENT THIS YEAR 4HERE HAVE BEEN SO MANY HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE IN VOLVED IN THE PRODUCTION OF THE PAPER THIS YEAR ALL GIVING UP THEIR TIME TO MAKE IT THE BEST IT CAN BE -OST OF THEM NEVER MEET COMMUNICATING WITH THEIR SECTION EDITOR VIA EMAIL OR SOMETIMES IN A WEEKLY MEETING ) ALWAYS THINK AS ) WALK AROUND CAMPUS THAT ) COULD BE STRIDING RIGHT PAST ONE OF THE MOST DEDICATED AND BEST WRITERS WE HAVE AND ) WOULD NEVER KNOW ) AM INDEBTED TO ALL THOSE WHOSE NAMES l LL THESE PAGES EVERY WEEK 4O EACH AND EVERY WRITER WHO CONTRIBUTES TO EVERY PROOFREADER WHO CHECKS OUR WORK -OST OF ALL ) HAVE TO SAY THANK YOU TO MY LOVELY SECTION EDITORS WITHOUT THEM THERE WOULD BE NO PAPER AND PRODUCTION WEEKENDS WOULD GO MUCH SLOWER !ND l NALLY A BIG THANK YOU TO -ARCUS AS WITHOUT HIS CALM INm UENCE AND CHEERY BANTER THE OFl CE WOULD BE A MUCH DULLER PLACE 4O SIGN OFF AS %VENT %DITOR ) ISSUE THOSE OF YOU WHO WILL BE HERE NEXT YEAR WITH A CHAL LENGE #OME AND JOIN #ONCRETE IN 3EPTEMBER EXPRESS YOURSELF THROUGH WRITING ABOUT YOUR FAVOURITE SUBJECT AND MOST OF ALL MAKE YOURSELF KNOWN ) WANT TO BE ABLE TO SAY HELLO TO YOU ON THE STREET NEXT YEAR NOT JUST THROUGH THIS PAGE 5NTIL NEXT YEAR

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/UR "ODY 3URVEY RESEARCH RESULTS FROM .ORWICH 7E FOUND THAT A MAJORITY OF YOU WERE PRETTY HAPPY WITH HOW BODY IMAGE IS PORTRAYED AROUND CAMPUS 9OU MEN OUT THERE HAVE DONE US PROUD AND APPEAR TO HAVE A POSITIVE VIEW ON BODY IMAGE MOST OF YOU THOUGHT A SIZE WAS A PERFECT SIZE FOR US GIRLS TO BE 5S GIRLS ON THE OTHER HAND APPEAR TO BE OUR OWN WORST ENEMIES

THINKING THE SMALLER DRESS SIZE THE BETTER ! MAJORITY OF YOU WERE STRIVING FOR UNREALISTIC SIZE BODIES

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)F YOU ONLY HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO TREAT YOURSELF TO ONE SMALL PURCHASE THIS SUMMER LET IT BE THE DENIM SKIRT 4HIS MARVEL LOUS INVENTION CAME TO US IN THE S AND HAS PROUDLY BEEN WORN EVER SINCE 4HE DENIM SKIRT COMES IN SO MANY SHAPES

SIZES COLOURS AND STYLES THAT THEY ARE A MUST HAVE FOR EVERY GIRL %VERY SUMMER WE SEE A REVITALISATION OF THE DENIM SKIRT YET WE STILL CAN T GET ENOUGH OF THEM 4HEIR PRACTICAL NATURE AND VERSA TILE ABILITY MAKES EVERYONE LOVE THEM 4HIS YEAR IS LIKE NO OTHER n THE SHOPS ARE ALREADY FULL TO THE MAX WITH DENIM SKIRTS THAT WON T BREAK THE BANK EITHER &OR THOSE WITH A LARGER BUDGET ,EVI AND $IESEL HAVE SOME TRULY BEAUTIFULLY CUT DENIM SKIRTS OUT THIS SEASON (OWEVER THERE ARE PLENTLY OF LOW COST DENIM SKIRTS TO RIVAL THE DESIGNERS n 0RIMARK AND 4OPSHOP ARE LEADING THE WAY AS ALWAYS 4HE BLEACHED BLUE LOOK IS ALWAYS A POPULAR CHOICE BUT WHY NOT INJECT SOME COLOUR INTO YOUR SUMMER AND GO FOR A DENIM SKIRT IN A RED OR WHITE "E BRAVE AND ADAPT THE WONDERFUL INVENTION THAT IS THE DENIM SKIRT

7E KNOW WE ARE STILL l GHTING OFF THE RAIN BUT THIS IS OUR LAST ISSUE BEFORE SUMMER SO WE FEEL WE NEED TO SHARE A COUPLE OF OUR FAVE SWIMSUITS FOR THE NEARING HOPEFULLY HOT WEATHER

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S YOU WALK IN THE DOOR THE VIBRANT AND EXOTIC WORLD OF THE -IDDLE %AST COMES TO LIFE !ZZA (AFES THE OWNER OF THIS LITTLE BOUTIQUE ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF THE CITY CENTRE OFFERS UNIQUE AND ALTERNATIVE PARTY CLOTHES FOR THE MORE ADVENTUROUS OF US 4HIS SMALL HIDDEN BOU TIQUE DISPLAYS A DIVERSE AND INTERESTING SET OF ITEMS RANGING FROM HOME DÏCOR TO BELLY DANCING KITS HATS AND BAGS TO JEWELLERY AND SHOES ALL WITH A DISCOUNT FOR STUDENTS 3AHARA (OUSE S SPECIALIST @STUDENT BAG HAS A UNIQUE DESIGN WHICH BALANCES STYLE WITH PRACTICALITY )T HAS A LARGE CAPACITY AND LONG DURABILITY MAKING IT IDEAL FOR THE HARD WORKING STUDENTS WE ALL ARE 3PECIALISING IN BELLY DANCING GEAR IT OFFERS A RANGE OF VIBRANT COLOURS AND INTERESTING DEIGNS TO CHOOSE FROM 4O HELP YOU ON YOUR WAY TO BECOMING A SEXY BELLY DANCER YOU CAN ALSO PURCHASE ONE OF THE INSTRUCTIONAL $6$ S WHICH WILL TEACH YOU ALL THE SEDUCTIVE MOVES !LTERNATIVELY BEACH WEAR AND FANCY ETHNIC OUTl TS ARE ALSO AVAILABLE 4HE SHOP IS PLANNING SOME SPECIAL EVENTS JUST FOR LADIES WHO LOVE AND AD MIRE THEIR OWN QUALITIES AS INDIVIDUAL WOMEN )T WILL BE OFFERING DISCOUNTS ON THE DAY ETHNIC BEVERAGES AND AN AMAZING OPPORTUNITY TO MEET NEW PEOPLE AND DISCOVER A NEW CULTURE $ATES ARE STILL TO BE CONl RMED BUT IT S A GREAT CHANCE TO EXPERIENCE THE EXCITING ROMANTIC -IDDLE %ASTERN SETTING YOU THOUGHT WAS HALF WAY AROUND THE WORLD

0URPLE 0LEATED /NE 0IECE a -ISS 3ELFRIDGE

"OHO 0ANEL "IKINI a 4OPSHOP

3OMETHING FOR A SUMMER IN THE CITY 4HE ARRIVAL OF THE .ORWICH AND .ORFOLK &ESTIVAL IN -AY BRINGS TO THE CITY A FANTASTIC LINEUP OF EVENTS 7ITH THE EXAM PERIOD ON THE HORIZON AND THE END OF ANOTHER ACADEMIC YEAR THE !RTS TEAM DECIDED TO SAY A lNAL FAREWELL WITH THE BEST IN WHAT .ORWICH S SUMMER SCHEDULE HAS TO OFFER )F YOU RE STUCK BETWEEN REVISION OR WISH TO MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LAST YEAR AS A STUDENT OF THE CITY TAKE SOME INSPIRATION FROM US AND FOLLOW OUR SUMMER GUIDE %MAIL THE ANSWER TO THE QUESTIONS AT EACH EVENT TO CONCRETE ARTS UEA AC UK BY TO WIN YOURSELF AN !RTS GOODIE BAG 4HROUGHOUT THE SUMMER THE ONLY START TO A TOUR OF .ORWICH HAS TO BE A VISIT TO .OR FOLK S BEST LOVED PUPPETEER WHOSE STREET PERFORMANCES HAVE MADE HIM A PRINCE AMONG THE .ORFOLK MEN (IS SHOW HAS SHOT TO NEW HEIGHTS WITH THE GENEROUS DONATION OF NEW PUPPETS FROM ,ANGLEY S TOY SHOP AND A LOCAL SOURCE HAS REVEALED HIS NEW SHOW IS BETTER THAN EVER %XPECT A h CLASSIC 0UPPET -AN PERFORMANCE WITH SOME SURPRISE NEW MOVES v

1 7HAT IS 0UPPET -AN S STAGE NAME "ONUS POINTS FOR HIS AGE

6ISIT .ORWICH #ASTLE FOR A BEHIND THE SCENES TOUR OF THE !RT !RCHIVES ON -AY TH AND SEE THE 0EOPLE S #HOICE !RT EXHIBITION PROMOTING LOCAL ARTISTS AROUND THE .OFOLK AND 3UFFOLK REGIONS /R ALTERNATIVELY WHY NOT JUST GO IN THE CASTLE AND TRY ON SOME FUNKY CHAINMAIL ARMOUR WHICH KEPT THE !RTS TEAM THOROUGHLY AMUSED FOR A GOOD MINUTES

1 )N THE BASEMENT OF WHICH .ORWICH STATIONERS CAN ONE lND THEMSELVES WALKING IN .ORWICH #ASTLE S ORIGINAL $UNGEON CHAMBERS

)N NO lT STATE 4HEN MAKE YOUR WAY BACK TO CAMPUS FROM THE TH TH -AY RIGHT ON 5%! S DOORSTEP AT %ARLHAM 0ARK (ERE SEE THE 5+ S LEADING CONTEMPORARY CIRCUS COM PANY .O &IT 3TATE #IRCUS IN THEIR DYNAMIC PERFORMANCE 4ABU WHICH PROMISES AN EXPLORATION OF THE DARKER SIDE OF LIFE DESCRIBED AS h FURIOUS ENTERTAINMENTv AND h CHO REOGRAPHED MAYHEM v 1 )N 4HE 3IMPSONS

WHO IS +RUSTY THE

)F YOUR LOOKING TO @BLAME IT ON THE BOOG IE OR GET @$IRTY WITH $IANA ON THE ND -AY MOONWALK YOUR WAY TO THE 4HEATRE 2OYAL FOR THE 4HRILLER MUSICAL FEATURING A RATHER SHAMBOLIC BUT ENTHUSIASTIC LOOK A LIKE OF THE +ING OF 0OP SINGING AND GIRATING TO ALL THE CLASSICS FROM *ACKO S SOLO CAREER AND HIS ROOTS WITH THE *ACK SON &IVE

1 )N THE 4HRILLER VIDEO

WHAT COLOUR ARE -ICHAEL S EYES WHEN HE TURNS INTO A ZOMBIE

#LOWN S FATHER

-ILK TWO SUGARS PLEASE $URING -AY !PRIL VISIT THE CITY S MOST DIVERSE ART SPACE /UTPOST TO PARTICIPATE IN +AAVOUS #LAYTON S INNOVATIVE INTERACTIVE EXHIBITION #LAYTON HOLDS AN OPEN INVITATION FOR ANYONE TO TAKE CONTROL OF HIS WORK TO USE HIS SPACE AS A STAGE FOR DRA MA DANCE MUSIC WHATEVER TAKES YOUR FANCY #LAYTON EVEN PROVIDES A NICE CUPPA WHILST YOU CONTEMPLATE

&ROM TH -AY 4HE 4HEATRE 2OYAL BRINGS THE LIVELY PER FORMANCE OF "ERNIE THE "ACHELOR IN $AVID -AMET S 3EXUAL 0ERVERSITY IN #HICAGO SET IN THE S AGE OF PSYCHEDELIA AND QUITE SIMPLY SEX 7ATCH "ERNIE S COMIC SELF REmECTION OF A LIFE OF PROMISCUITY AND POT

1 7HAT IS THE MEANING OF #HICAGO IN

1 )N !NDY 7ARHOL S FAMOUS

ITS &RENCH ORIGIN "ONUS POINTS IF YOU CAN

#AMPBELL S 3OUP ILLUSTRATION WHAT

GUESS THE NAMES OF THE THREE LOVELY OLD

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DEARS IN THE PHOTO

AND SUMMER IN THE 3QUARE

'ROWING UP !LIEN WITH !OIFE -ANNIX

!S THE LAST CHANCE TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF CAMPUS EXPERIENCE STROLL BACK TO 5%! AROUND *UNE ST AND EXPLORE -ARGARET -ELLIS S ! ,IFE IN #OLOUR AT THE 3AINSBURY #ENTRE -ELLIS IS PART OF THE FAMOUS 3T )VES GROUP AND NAMES "EN .ICOLSON AND "ARBARA (EPWORTH AS HER INSPIRATIONS

&INALLY PERHAPS THE BEST PLACE

INDEED EVERYONE S FAVOURITE PLACE TO END A TOUR OF .ORWICH 3OAK UP THE SUN AND REALLY ENJOY BEING A 5%!

STUDENT IN THE NOT SO ARTY BUT THE EVER MIGHTY 3QUARE

!FTER A WONDERFUL !RTS WISH TO SAY A BIG THANK YOU TO ALL THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN A PART OF OUR TEAM "EST OF LUCK TO EVERYONE IN THE EXAM PERIOD AND SEE YOU DOWN IN THE SQUARE

4HE "OYS 7HO $O #OMEDY )T IS NO SECRET THAT .ORWICH IS HOME TO A m OUR ISHING INDIE MUSIC SCENE AND JUST AS ALTERNA TIVE COMEDY FED OFF THE PUNK CIRCUIT AN INDIE COMEDY MOVEMENT HAS BEEN GATHERING A LOYAL FOLLOWING ,AUGH /UT ,OUD ,/, COMEDY CLUB HAS BEEN RUNNING REGULAR SHOWS FOR TWO YEARS WITH NO SUPPORT FROM THE 3TUDENT 5N ION AND BOASTS A LINE UP OF COMICS THAT IN CLUDE A @#HORTLE &UNNIEST 3TUDENT l NALIST

,/, HAS COME A LONG WAY IN TWO YEARS AND NOW HOSTS REGULAR NIGHTS AT 4HE 2OSE 4AVERN

4HE 1UEEN #HARLOTTE AND 4HE /DEON S !M BAR "EHIND THE CLUB IS A FRIENDLY ATMOSPHERE IN WHICH A LOOSE COLLECTIVE OF PERFORMERS OFFER

SUPPORT TO EACH OTHER AS WELL AS NEWCOMERS JUST STARTING OUT *OHN +EARNS A ,/, VETERAN SAYS h)T WORKS BECAUSE WE RE ALL QUITE FRIENDLY

WE HAVE HAD ARROGANT AND UNFRIENDLY PERFORM ERS BUT THEY TEND NOT TO LAST TOO LONG v 4HE MIXTURE OF NEWCOMERS AND MORE EXPERIENCED PERFORMERS WITH NEW MATERIAL IS ONE OF THE DRAWS OF THE CLUB 'ILES $ERRINGTON AN AUDI ENCE MEMBER RECENTLY TURNED PERFORMER SUP PORTS THIS h! LOT OF THE STUFF BEING PERFORMED IS QUITE RAW AND AT THEIR BEST A ,/, GIG CAN FEEL ELECTRIC v ,/, S FOUNDING MEMBERS ARE NOW TAKING THE NEXT STEP IN THE COMEDY WORLD AND WILL BE APPEARING IN THE SHOW @! #OUPLE OF #OU PLES OF #OMICS AT THE %DINBURGH &RINGE 4HE SHOW WILL FEATURE EACH COMEDIAN PERFORMING l FTEEN MINUTES OF THEIR STRONGEST MATERIAL h)T MAKES THE LAST TWO YEARS FEEL LIKE PREPARA TION FOR %DINBURGH NOT JUST MESSING AROUND v +EARNS MUSES h7HAT WOULD BE FANTASTIC IS IF IN TEN YEARS TIME SOME OF THE TOP COMICS ALL HAD ,/, ON THEIR RESUMES v ,/, 4HE 1UEEN #HARLOTTE n TH -AY

PM a ,/, 4HE 2OSE 4AVERN n ND *UNE PM

a *ON "RITTAIN

)T STARTED WITH A WOMAN WITH l ERY HAIR STRUT TING IN AND GIVING EVERYONE SUGGESTIVE LOOKS AS SHE PLAYED A JOLLY TUNE ON HER ACCORDION (ER BURSTS OF JUMPY MUSIC WERE TO BE A CON STANT l XTURE IN THE REST OF THE SHOW !OIFE -ANNIX WALKED ON STAGE AND DESCRIBED A BRILLIANT WINTER SETTING AND THE SMELL OF OR ANGE IN HER HAND WE ALL FELT THE COLD JUST LIKE WE ALL SMELT AND TASTED THE ORANGE 4HE MEMORIES POURED OUT AFTER SHE DESCRIBED THE SETTING FROM WHICH SHE l RST LOOKED BACK AT HER LIFE GONE BY THE HOSPICE AT WHICH HER MOTHER WAS DYING 3HE TOLD US ABOUT WHEN SHE WAS A CHILD

PLAYING GAMES WITH THINGS SHE FOUND LAYING AROUND THE HOUSE AND IN PARTICULAR OF THE TIME SHE FOUND SOME COTTON WOOL WITH SOME STRING ATTACHED INSIDE A TUBE AND THAT IF SHE TOOK THE COTTON OUT IT WOULD TURN INTO A TEL ESCOPE (ER MOTHER TOLD HER OFF AND WAS MET WITH RETORTS THAT SHE HAD HUNDREDS OF THEM ANYWAY 3HE LATER FOUND OUT THAT IT WAS IN ACTUAL FACT A TAMPON 4HE SHOW WAS AIMED AT AN OLDER AUDIENCE BUT ) STILL FELT THAT THERE WAS SOME APPRECIATION TO BE GAINED FROM IT !FTERWARDS SHE WENT ON TO DESCRIBING HER EX PERIENCES OF THE FRIENDSHIPS OF YOUTH AND THE PROCESS OF GROWING UP (OW THE NEIGHBOUR HOOD BOYS WOULD NO LONGER PLAY WITH HER BECAUSE SHE WAS A hGIRL v AND WHICH RESULTED IN HER EVENTUALLY GIVING UP ON BOYS 3HE

TALKED ABOUT HOW SHE WANTED TO BE A HOOKER LATER ON IN LIFE LIKE 'RANDMA WHO USED A HOOK TO CROTCHET ,ATER SHE DESCRIBED HER TEENAGE YEARS

RIDDLED WITH SEX AND DEBAUCHERY AND HOW LIFE WAS AFTER TRAVELLING FROM !MERICA TO ,ON DON AND l NALLY TO )RELAND 4HE EXPERIENCES SHE HAD WHILST IN !MERICA AND THE POIGNAN CY WHICH RINGS THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE SHOW TOUCHED ME MOST HOWEVER 4HE HUMOROUS IGNORANCE WHICH THE !MERICAN CHILDREN SHE ENCOUNTERED HAD WAS A POINT OF RELATION TO MY CHILDHOOD 4HE WAY ) WAS TREATED LIKE AN ALIEN WOULD BE DUE TO MOVING AROUND %NG LAND A LOT AND HAVING TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO NEW CHILDREN IN NEW CLASSES AND SCHOOLS 4HE DIFl CULTY OF ADAPTING TO NEW WAYS OF THINKING AND PLAYING WHILST TRYING TO MAKE THE KIDS ) PLAYED WITH FEEL LIKE ) UNDERSTOOD EVERYTHING THAT WAS NORMAL IN THAT SCHOOL WHEN IT WAS UNLIKE ANYTHING ) HAD EXPERIENCED BEFORE 4HE SHOW WASN T LIFE CHANGING OR EVEN NECESSARY "UT ) ENJOYED THE NORMALITY OF IT )T WASN T A ROUTE OF ESCAPE FROM THE MUNDANE REALITIES OF LIFE BUT IT DID MAKE ME LAUGH AND ) FELT LIKE IT WAS WORTHWHILE )T WAS KIND OF LIKE SITTING IN A PUB WITH AN OLD MAN WHO FELT LIKE HE NEEDED TO GET THE REALITIES OF HIS LIFE OFF HIS CHEST AND AT THE SAME TIME WANTED TO GIVE US SOMETHING TO CHERISH 3Ul YA 3HAHNAWAZ

&AILURE

@4RAIN OF LIGHTS 4HE SHATTERED RAYS THE MUTED SHADOWS MISTY GLASS OF EYE WASPISH ORANGE PUSHING BLACK AND BLACK PUSHED BACK 4HE AIRPLANES HAUNTED ME AS IF THEIR SIGHT ATTACHED ME WITH LONG CORDS TO LONELINESS ) COULD NOT JOIN IN THE CLAMOROUS IMPORT MENTAL ARTIL LERY OF mYING YET REMAINING STILL ! STATIC WORLD OF AFFAIRS WITH DIFFERING DINNERS 4HERE SEEMED TO BE A FOG AND YET THE SKY WAS CLEAR MORE LIKE RAINDROPS ON A WINDOW CRACKING LINES OF SIGHT AS DRIPS TRACK DOWN ! MEMORY OF A CHILDHOOD PARTY ) IN THE BACKSEAT AND THE RAIN AND THE LIGHT AND THE CAR LIGHTS RED OR YELLOW STYLISED INTO WARM OR COLD THROUGH THE CRYSTAL BLURRY WATER

AND IT WAS LIKE A TRAIN BECAUSE NO ONE DROVE JUST GOT OUT LATER IN THE RAIN (ER HAIR FANNING PAST AND OPENING THE EYES WITH THE STRANGE SAUCERS DOTS THAT ) QUIVERED AND SHE SAID SOMETHING MUNDANE IN HER WORDS 0USHED THE HAIR BACK WITH HER HAND AND SHE LOOKED AND ) WATCHED AGAIN FOREVER IN THAT MOMENT AGAIN !S ) WALK IN THE GIANT BAT SPIDER BONES AND HAWK TEETH ) KNOW IF THE RAIN ON THE TRAIN WINDOW AND THE RED LIGHTS LED WITH NECESSITY TO ME NEVER SEEING HER AGAIN 7ILL ) 3HE WILL BE MY PAST UNTIL ) REMEMBER HER IN THE TRAIN AS A RED LIGHT OR A YELLOW OR A SPIDER LONG LEGS "UT ) M HAPPY WHEN ) REACH THE STATION PAST THE ROAD WITH THE LIGHTS AFTER WORK AFTER SHE LEFT AND MY TRAIN S THERE )T HAS BLONDE HAIR STRAIGHT FROM THE WINDOWS IN THE GLASS FOG NOT LIKE HERS THE PEPPERED CURLS 3HE SHOULD TIE IT BACK BUT EYES ARE ALSO DANGEROUS AND SNAG 4HEY DO SHOOT LIGHTS AS THE ANCIENTS THOUGHT 0ERHAPS THEIR LOVE WAS CONSTANT BEAMS LIKE LASERS PINNING EVERYTHING WITH LONGING PAST AND PRESENT YEARNING IN THOSE DAYS 4HERE IS NO ONE ON THE TRAIN AWAKE !T HOME IT S NORMAL .OTHING HAPPENS HERE 4ANKS RElLL AND BONES CRACK IN SLOVENLY SOFAS #AN ) LIVE IN *ANUS HEAD OF UNDE LIVERED LIFE AND AMNIOTIC DEATH 0ROBABLY *OSH !LLEN

2OSES AND ,ILIES "ASED ON THE

-ULTIVITAMIN 4ABLET #ONTAINER

POETRY OF ( -OSADEGH h4HANK YOUv YOU SAID SMILING

.OT KNOWING WITH WHAT GUILT ) HAD PICKED THE RED ROSE &ROM THE SCHOOLS GARDENS

-ANY 4HANKS &OR 9OUR -OST %XCELLENT #ONTRIBUTIONS /VER THE 9EAR ) AM PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE THAT NEXT YEAR S #REATIVE 7RITING EDITOR IS -ISS 0ENNY "OXALL

) M IN A PLASTIC SQUARE DESIGNED FOR CHOCOLATE BROWNIES (ALF EATEN ONE IS TOUCHING ME

TAUNTING ME TICKLING MY LABEL

)T FEELS LIKE SLUDGE h"UT ) LIKE LILIESv YOU SAID

THE ENCRUSTED MUD NOT NOTICING MY STRUGGLE TO HIDE MY CRUSHED ON HIS BLUE CARPET HEART THAT HE HOOVERS UP

9ET ) STILL HEAR THOSE WORDS !S WHISPERS IN MY DAYDREAMS IGNORING THE CHOCOLATE CRUMBS BENEATH ME h) HAVE TO GOxv YOU SAID AND TURNED

3OMETIMES HE UNSCREWS ME !ND ) SHAN T FORGET THE lRST FEW STEPS AND TAKES A RED PILL 9OU TOOK AWAY FROM MY EXISTENCE

,EAVING ME WITH THE RED ROSE IN MY HAND ) M A COUNTERWEIGHT

BALANCING THE BADNESS

) CAN T HELP BUT TO QUESTION SOMETIMES

AND AS THE DAYS PROGRESS $ROWNED IN WONDERMENT

) M WEIGHING LESS 7HY OUR LITTLE HOUSE $IDN T HAVE A GARDEN

4AYMAZ 6ALLEY

! CAD TRIED TO SEDUCE ME ONCE BUT ) SAW THROUGH HIS POSTURING HE WAS AN EMPTY THING

ALL IMAGE AND THAT IMAGE FORMED OUT OF EXTRANEOUS ACCOUTREMENTS BLACK BOOTS BLACK FOLDS OF SUPPLE LEATHER AND A SILVER CROSS

MYRIAD LITTLE PINNACLES OF CHROME 4HEY TEMPTED ME TO PRICK HIS PRETTY SKIN

TO SEE IF TRULY BLOOD WOULD mOW FROM ALL THOSE MOUTHS

OPEN IN PERFECT SYMMETRY WITH SKIN FURLED INWARD OR WHETHER THERE WOULD BE HOLLOWNESS AS IF mESH WERE MERELY A CARAPACE

AN EXOSKELETON OF CARTILAGE WITH ONLY BONE AND BREATHS OF WIND WITHIN (E DID NOT CARE FOR ME

FOUND ME TOO INNOCENT IN THAT NAIVETÏ WHICH HAD CHARMED HIM INITIALLY TOO APT TO mURRIES OF VIOLENCE WITHOUT APOLOGY ) ONCE SNAPPED HIS HEAD BACK ) ONLY DID IT TO BE RID OF OVERWHELMING IMPULSES FOR VIGILANTISM HE HAD GIVEN ME ELEVEN SHOTS OF GIN WHICH ) POURED BACK DOWN THE NARROW BLUE THROAT OF BOTTLE GLASS WHILE HE WAS TURNED AWAY SEARCHING FOR PILLS ) DID NOT WISH TO TAKE +ATHERINE &RYER

7HO S 4O 3AY 7HO S TO SAY

4HAT WE WON T GREET AGAIN 0OSING PARTICULAR POSES

!ND DELICATELY DECIDING 7HAT SIGHTS TO SEE )N A SELF DEFEATING HAZE )N A FOG OF TREPIDATION )GNORING A PAST GRAZE /F A PAST LOVER /F THOSE WHO HAVE PASSED OVER 7HO S TO SAY

4HAT IT WON T BE THE SAME )N THE ENDLESS BLOODSPORT

7HEN YOU VE HAD YOUR MOUTHFUL !ND SWALLOW 4HE PANG IS STILL THERE

7HEN YOU RETURN TO FEED

.ECESSITY OR NEED 9OU AND THEY KNOW WHAT YOU WANT 3O YOU DO EVERYTHING 7HAT YOU CAN AND CAN T 7HO S TO SAY

4HAT WHEN WE MEET AGAIN

) LL CLOSE THE CURTAINS 4URN OFF THE LIGHTS

!ND WAIT FOR THE NEXT TIME 7HEN IT WON T BE THE SAME 7HEN IT WON T BE FOR THE RUSH 7HEN IT WON T BE FOR THE THRILL OF THE GAME !S ) TAKE THE LAST DRAG

!ND KNOW WHO S TO BLAME

3AM %LLIOT -ARCUS +EELEY

3UMMER ,OVIN 3AT /N -Y !SS 3UMMER IS UPON US AND SO YOU RETURN TO YOUR OLD FRIEND THE 46 THE BASTION AGAINST BOREDOM *AMES "ILLINGS OFFERS THE HIGHLIGHTS TO WATCH AND CATCH UP ON THIS HOLIDAY 4ERMINATOR 4HE 3ARAH #ONNOR #HRONICLES

4HE "IG "ANG 4HEORY #OMING FRESH IN FROM ACROSS THE POND IS THIS NEW COMEDY STARRING 3IMPLE 2ULES AND #HARMED S +ALEY #UOCO LEFT AS A BEAUTIFUL GIRL LIVING ACROSS THE HALL FROM A COUPLE OF POST GRAD GEEKS IN #ALI FORNIA 2ESEMBLING THE )4 #ROWD IN MORE THAN A FEW WAYS THE PREMISE OF THE SHOW IS CENTRED AROUND THE UNREQUITED ATTRAC TION OF ,EONARD *OHNNY 'ALECKI TO 0ENNY #UOCO (OW EVER THE CHARACTER THAT WILL HAVE YOU IN lTS IS 3HELDON PLAYED

BY NEWCOMER *IM 0ARSONS (IS COMPLETE SOCIAL INEPTITUDE COMBINED WITH HIS ASTRONOMICAL )1 PROVIDES SOME OF THE FUN NIEST SCENES TO COME OUT OF THE 5 3 IN RECENT YEARS ! FEW DRAW BACKS ARE THE OBVIOUS PANDERING TO POLITICAL CORRECTNESS WITH THE SIDE CHARACTERS OF (OWARD AND 2AJESH A *EW AND AN )NDIAN STUDENT $ESPITE THIS THEY ARE STILL BOTH VERY HUMOROUS CHAR ACTERS (OWARD IN PARTICULAR IS GENIUS HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS MOTHER BEING A PARTICULAR HIGHLIGHT 4HERE ARE lVE EPISODES LEFT OF THE CURRENT SERIES BUT 4HE %VENT BEGS YOU TO CATCH UP ON THE REST ON /$ "EING THIS FUNNY A SECOND SERIES MUST BE GUARANTEED

4HE LATEST EDITION TO THE 4ERMINATOR SERIES HIT OUR SCREENS THIS SPRING *UST EPISODES WERE INITIALLY MADE DUE TO THE WRIT ER S STRIKE IN THE 3TATES BUT THREE MORE ARE SCHEDULED FOR THE lRST SERIES AND lLMING ON THE SECOND IS STARTING SOON 4HIS SERIES IS DElNITELY ONE TO CATCH UP ON OFFERING ACTION ADVEN TURE SOME TENSE EMOTIONAL DRAMA AS WELL LOTS OF PRETTY PEO PLE ,ENA (EADEY LEFT TAKES THE LEAD AS 3ARAH #ONNOR THE IN EXPLICABLY ATTRACTIVE MOTHER OF *OHN 4HOMAS $EKKER 4HE REAL HOOK TO THE SHOW IS 3UMMER 'LAU RIGHT A @GOOD TERMINATOR SENT BACK TO PROTECT *OHN .O ONE KNOWS WHY A ROBOT WOULD BE BUILT IN THE FORM OF AN YEAR OLD MODEL BUT FEW PEOPLE ARE COMPLAINING 4HE CASTING IN GENERAL IS GOOD WITH THE SIDE CHARAC TERS PROVIDING GREAT ENTERTAINMENT 4HE STANDARD &") AGENT IN PARTICU LAR IS VERY WATCHABLE 7E ARE ALL HOPING THAT THE WRITERS MANAGE TO MAINTAIN A FRESHNESS WITH THE SCRIPT THAT WILL AVOID SIMPLY REHEARS ING THE lLMS /N THE WHOLE THOUGH THIS SHOW COMES WITH A MAS SIVE RECOMMENDATION ,ETS HOPE RUMOURS OF CANCELLATION ARE FALSE

(EROES 4IM +RING S MASSIVE HIT SERIES RETURNS THIS SUMMER ON BOTH ""# AND 7ITH A FEW EPISODES GONE ALREADY

MAKE SURE YOU CATCH UP !S WITH A LOT OF THE NEW 5 3 SHOWS THE PLANNED EPISODES WAS INTERRUPTED BY THE WRITERS STRIKE AND SO ONLY WERE PRODUCED 4HE SERIES STARTS FOUR MONTHS AFTER THE EVENTS OF +IRBY 0LAZA TRACK ING PREVIOUS FAVOURITES AS WELL AS INTRODUCING NEW ONES (IRO IS IN FEUDAL *APAN MEETING HIS CHILDHOOD HERO

WHILST !NDO IS TRYING TO DISCOVER WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM 4HE 0ETRELLI S ARE TRYING TO GO BACK TO NORMAL LIVES DESPITE THEIR ABILITIES WHILST THE SHADY 3YLAR IS ON A QUEST TO RE COVER HIS 4HE REASON MANY GUYS WATCH THE SHOW IS #LAIRE "ENNET (AYDEN 0ANETTIERE LEFT CENTRE AND SEASON TWO lNDS HER ADAPTING TO A NEW LIFE IN 3OUTHERN #ALIFORNIA WITH HER FATHER !BSENT OF COURSE ARE THE DECEASED -R ,INDERMAN )SSAC AND $ , 4HERE ARE ALSO NEW CHARACTERS BROUGHT IN TO REFRESH THE SHOW AND UP THE SEX APPEAL 4HE VIBE FROM THE 3TATES IS THAT THIS SERIES IS SIGNIlCANTLY WEAKER THAN THE lRST BUT ONLY YOU CAN DECIDE FOR YOURSELF

2EAPER 2EAPER IS A NEW INNOVATIVE SHOW FROM !MERICA WHICH CAN BE DE SCRIBED AS A COMEDY FANTASY )T IS BASED AROUND 3AM "RET (ARRISON

A SLACKER SURVIVING ON A MINIMUM WAGE JOB AT A HARDWARE STORE LIV ING AT HOME WITH HIS PARENTS 3AM S LIFE IS TURNED ON ITS HEAD HOW EVER WHEN THE $EVIL APPEARS TO HIM 4URNS OUT HIS PARENTS HAD SOLD HIS SOUL TO %L $IABLO BEFORE HE WAS BORN 3O THE SERIES FOLLOWS 3AM AS HE HAS TO RECAPTURE ESCAPED SOULS FROM (ELL

AIDED BY HIS INEPT FRIEND "EN AND THE HILARIOUS 3OCK 4YLER ,ABINE RIGHT 3OCK PROVIDES THE VAST MAJORITY OF THE COMEDY JUST HIS HAIRY FACE ALONE IS AMUSING 4HE $EVIL 2AY 7ISE IS POSSIBLY THE lNEST CHARACTER ON THE SHOW 4HE SUPERB ACTING BY 7ISE IS BOTH COMICAL AND DISTURB ING AT THE SAME TIME WITH THE WRITERS HUMANISING HIM AND THEN REMINDING THE VIEWERS OF HIS PURE EVIL NATURE 4HE STANDARD LOVE INTEREST IS PROVIDED BY !NDI -ISSY 0EREGRYM LEFT 3AM S BEAUTIFUL CO WORKER WHO HE CONTINUALLY TRIES TO HIDE HIS REAL IDENTITY FROM 2EAPER MANAGES TO COMBINE INVENTIVE PLOTS WITH SOME GENUINE COMEDY PRODUCING A HIGHLY WATCHABLE SHOW

0USHING $AISIES 4HE ONLY SHOW )46 HAS TO OFFER OF ANY INTEREST 0USHING $AISIES IS ABOUT .ED ,EE 0ACE A PIE MAN WHO HAS THE ABILITY TO WAKE THE DEAD BY HIS TOUCH ALONE $RAWBACKS TO HIS POWER HOWEVER INCLUDE THE FACT THAT IF A CREATURE HE HAS WOKEN REMAINS ANIMATED FOR MORE THAN ONE MINUTE A LIVING THING IN THE NEAR VICINITY WILL DROP DEAD !LSO ONCE HE S TOUCHED A REVIVED BEING FOR A SECOND TIME IT FALLS DEAD AGAIN THIS TIME PERMANENTLY 4HE BASIS OF THE SERIES IS WHEN .ED IS APPROACHED BY PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR %MERSON #OD #HI -C"RIDE TO RE ANIMATE MURDER VICTIMS DISCOVER WHO KILLED THEM AND SPLIT THE REWARD MONEY 4HE FEMALE LEAD IS HOME GROWN TALENT !NNA &RIEL RIGHT WHO PLAYS .ED S LONG LOST CHILDHOOD SWEETHEART #HUCK WHO IS MURDERED ON A CRUISE AND BROUGHT BACK BY .ED 4HE #RUX OF THE SHOW IS THAT .ED AND #HUCK FALL IN LOVE AGAIN RESTRICTED BY THE DILEMMA OF NEVER BEING ABLE TO TOUCH EACH OTHER UNDER PAIN OF #HUCK DYING AGAIN ! VERY PROM ISING SHOW 0USHING $AISIES HAS RECENTLY FALTERED IN THE RATINGS BUT 4HE %VENT IS WILLING TO BLAME THAT ON THE SHEER REPULSIVENESS OF )46

0RIMETIME $OCTOR 7HO 3ATURDAY ""# PM

&OR A PROGRAMME THAT HAS GONE THROUGH SO MANY CHANGES IN ITS LONG AND COLOURFUL HIS TORY TEN LEAD ACTORS COUNTLESS COMPANIONS $OCTOR 7HO IS A SHOW THAT INVITES DEBATE 4HE

ANNOUNCEMENT THAT POPULAR ANNOYING DELETE AS APPROPRIATE COMEDIAN #ATHERINE 4ATE WAS RETURNING TO THE 4!2$)3 AS $ONNA .OBLE SPLIT PUBLIC OPINION DOWN THE MIDDLE 4HANKFULLY

BY THE END OF 0ARTNERS IN #RIME

THE OPENING EPISODE OF THIS FOURTH SEASON THE DOUBTERS WERE PROVEN WRONG 4ATE WAS NOT JUST GOOD n SHE WAS FANTASTIC %VEN MORE SHOCKING

THE FOLLOWING WEEK AT THE CLIMAX OF THE EPIC 4HE &IRES OF 0OMPEII SHE WAS TRULY MAGNIl CENT

ACTING HER SOCKS OFF UTTERLY JUSTIFYING SHOW RUN NER 2USSELL 4 $AVIES DECISION TO BRING HER BACK FOR THIRTEEN NEW ADVENTURES -EANWHILE $AVID 4ENNANT IS STILL BRILLIANT AS THE $OCTOR #ONTINU ALLY l NDING NEW THINGS TO DO WITH A YEAR OLD 4IME ,ORD THE ACTOR IS SIMPLY ONE OF THE l NEST LEADS THE SHOW HAS EVER HAD 7HILST $ONNA WORKED SURPRISINGLY WELL

THE OPENING EPISODE WAS NOT THE SHOW S l NEST

$6$ 2EVIEW

3TARGATE !RK OF 4RUTH /UT .OW 220 a

HOUR &AST PACED THOUGH IT WAS 0ARTNERS SEEMED TO GO OVER OLD GROUND ,AST YEAR S OPENER 3MITH AND *ONES HAD SPACE RHINOS AND A TRIP TO THE MOON COVERING UP ITS RATHER EMPTY PLOT )N WE HAD THE CUTE BUT UNTHREATENING !DI POSE IN A STORY SET IN A CALL CENTRE "Y THE TIME THE TWO LEADS SAVED THE DAY WHILST STANDING IN A CUPBOARD THE SHOW HAD LOST ANY REAL SENSE OF MOMENTUM 4HANKFULLY IT WAS SAVED IN PART BY THE STERLING WORK OF THE LEADS AND A CHARMING TURN FROM "ERNARD #RIBBINS /H AND SOMEONE CALLED "ILLIE 0IPER POPPED UP FOR A FEW MO MENTS AT THE END 4HE TWO FOLLOWING INSTALMENTS 4HE &IRES OF 0OMPEII AND 0LANET OF THE /OD FARED FAR BETTER %XCITING EPIC AND SUMPTUOUSLY PRODUCED BOTH WERE l NE EXAMPLES OF HOW FAR THE SHOW HAS COME SINCE ITS REVIVAL 0OMPEII WAS TRULY HEARTBREAKING STUFF n A STORY WHERE THE $OCTOR

EFFECTIVELY KILLED THOUSANDS TO SAVE THE WORLD 4HE SPECIAL EFFECTS ON 0LANET WERE PARTICULARLY EXCELLENT TOTALLY SELLING ITS WINTRY SETTING AND JUSTIl ED THE RETURN OF THE /OD BY DEEPENING THE VIEWERS UNDERSTANDING OF THESE SUBSERVI ENT BEINGS %PISODE FOUR 4HE 3ONTARAN 3TRATA GEM AND ITS CONCLUSION 4HE 0OISON 3KY HAD A REFRESHING OLD SCHOOL m AVOUR TO THEM 4HIS WAS IN NO SMALL PART DUE TO THE RETURN OF THE 3ON TARANS hNASTY BRUTISH AND SHORTv BROUGHT INTO THE ST CENTURY WITH A FEW NIPS AND TUCKS #HRISTOPHER 2YAN GUESTING AS WARMONGER 'EN ERAL 3TAAL WAS PARTICULARLY GOOD /VERALL SERIES FOUR HAS HIT THE GROUND RUN NING 7ITH DAUGHTERS $ALEKS AND MAYBE EVEN $AVROS TO COME $OCTOR 7HO CONTINUES TO BE UNMISSABLE TELEVISION ,IAM / "RIEN

46 #LASSICS #OUPLING

TO TAKE OVER THEIR SHIP 4HE l LM IS GENERALLY GOOD THE ONLY MAJOR DOWNSIDE BEING THE FACT THAT 2ICHARD $EAN !NDERSON S HILARIOUS *ACK / .EILL DOESN T MAKE AN APPEARANCE 4HAT SAID THE CHARAC TER OF $ANIEL *ACKSON BECAME INCREASINGLY HUMOROUS OVER THE COURSE OF THE LAST FEW SE RIES AND THE SHOW DEl NITELY BENEl TS FROM HIS PRESENCE 4HE STORYLINE IS /+ NOT AMAZING BUT ENOUGH TO KEEP YOU ENGAGED FOR THE MIN UTES IT LASTS #ONTINUUM THE SECOND OF THE TWO l LMS IN WHICH THE 'OA ULD STORYLINE WILL BE l NISHED SOUNDS MUCH MORE PROMISING &IONA "ILLINGS

POINT OF CUSHIONS 7HY MUST WOMEN INVADE THAT LAST BASTION OF MANHOOD WHICH IS THE TOILET 3UPPORTING OUR LEADS AS THEY SEARCH FOR THESE VITAL ANSWERS ARE 0ATRICK THE TRIPOD

3ALLY WHO PUTS A DAILY LIMIT ON FACIAL EXPRES SION @UNm USHABLE *ANE AND OF COURSE THE LOVEABLE *EFF &ULL OF THEORIES ABOUT THE OP POSITE SEX THESE FAIL TO HELP *EFF AS HE WORKS HIMSELF INTO INCREASINGLY AWKWARD SITUATIONS 4RY EXPLAINING TO YOUR DATE THAT YOU ONLY AC CIDENTALLY TOLD HER YOU HAD A WOODEN LEG 7HILST THE LOSS OF *EFF IN 3ERIES WAS A HEAVY BLOW FOR THE PROGRAMME #OUPLING RE MAINS A COMEDY CLASSIC )F YOU WANT TO l ND OUT HOW THE MIND OF THE OPPOSITE SEX WORKS

OR IF YOU JUST WANT A DAMN WELL SCRIPTED PIECE OF COMEDY WATCH #OUPLING 7ITH THE LONG SUMMER HOLIDAYS COMING YOU HAVE NO EX CUSE NOT TO ,INDSAY (ARRIS

7HEN 3TARGATE 3' WAS CANCELLED IN

FANS OF SCI l MOURNED THE DEATH OF ONE OF THE GREATEST SERIES IN RECENT YEARS 4HE ABRUPT END OF THE SHOW LEFT A NUMBER OF KEY STORYLINES UNl NISHED AND SO WHEN 3TARGATE S PRODUC ERS WERE GIVEN THE GO AHEAD TO MAKE TWO 46 MOVIES TO BE RELEASED ON $6$ WE GEEKS RE JOICED AT THE THOUGHT OF TWO MORE CHANCES TO VISIT #HEYENNE -OUNTAIN !RK OF 4RUTH IS THE l RST OF SAID MOVIES AND TACKLES THE SHOW S MOST RECENTLY INTRODUCED STORYLINE INVOLVING THE /RI 3' IS ON A MIS SION TO l ND THE !RK OF 4RUTH A DEVICE THAT CAN BRAINWASH PEOPLE WHO LOOK INTO IT 7HILE $ANIEL 4EAL C AND 6ALA SEARCH FOR THE !RK ON A PLANET IN THE /RI GALAXY -ITCHELL AND #ARTER BATTLE AN ALL TOO FAMILIAR ENEMY ATTEMPTING

(AVE YOU EVER BEEN INVOLVED IN THE GIG GLE LOOP $O YOU KNOW ABOUT THE CURSE OF THE SOCK GAP OR FEAR THE MELTY MAN )F NOT

YOU PROBABLY THINK THIS IS THE RAMBLINGS OF A DEEPLY DISTURBED PSYCHOTIC "UT IF YOU DO

CONGRATULATIONS YOU ALREADY APPRECIATE THE BRILLIANCE OF #OUPLING &IRST AIRED IN AND RUNNING FOR FOUR SERIES #OUPLING WAS BILLED AS THE "RITISH &RIENDS BUT IF &RIENDS IS THE POPU LAR KID IN THE CLASS THEN #OUPLING IS ITS RISQUÏ

EVER SO COOL OLDER BROTHER 4HE BACKBONE OF THE SERIES IS THE m EDGLING RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN COUPLE 3TEVE AND 3USAN 7HAT COULD EASILY HAVE BECOME A FORMULAIC PASSING OF MILESTONES IS SAVED BY 3TEVE S MAR VELLOUS MONOLOGUES WHICH PROBE THOSE DEEP PHILOSOPHICAL QUESTIONS OF LIFE WHAT IS THE

4OP 4HIS &ORTNIGHT

(EARD IT ON THE 'RAPEVINE

0EEP 3HOW &RIDAY PM # 4HE LONG AWAITED NEW SERIES OF THE GREATEST SHOWS AROUND CONTINUES

4HE 3IMPSONS 3UNDAY PM # .EW EPISODES FROM 3EASON COME TO TERRESTRIAL 3TILL SOME OF THE BEST 46 AROUND

(EROES 4HURSDAY PM ""# 3ERIES CONTINUES ON ""# WITH l RST LOOK ON ""# ,OOK TO THE PAGE OPPOSITE FOR A REVIEW

3CRUBS 4HURSDAY PM % 3EASON CONTINUES THE SHOW S DOWNWARD SPRIAL ,ETS HOPE IT DOESN T GET AS BAD AS &RIENDS DID AT THE END

(AVE ) 'OT .EWS &OR 9OU &RIDAY PM ""#

4HE MILLIONTH SERIES COMES TO OUR SCREENS CATCH UP ON THE ONE WITH "RIAN "LESSED

3O HERE WE ARE AT THE END OF OUR JOURNEY )N THE WORDS OF 6INNIE *ONES ITS BEEN EMOTION AL 9OUR 46 NEWS FOR THE SUMMER IS RIGHT HERE AT 4HE %VENT EVERYONE S NATURAL HOME *EREMY #LARKSON S PENIS EXTENSION OTH ERWISE KNOWN AS 4OP 'EAR MAY BE WITHOUT ITS LOVABLE STAR 2ICHARD @(AMSTER (AMMOND FOR THE NEXT SERIES (E IS REPUTEDLY DEMAND ING THE ""# DOUBLE HIS SALARY TO a A SHOW HOWEVER ) M SURE THE ""# WILL BEND OVER AS THEY ALWAYS DO SO NO NEED TO PANIC 3IR $AVID !TTENBOROUGH ALSO KNOWN AS NATURE S *ESUS HAS CONTINUED TO PRESERVE HIS STATUS OF VENERABLE BROADCASTER BY LAYING INTO THE WEAK PROGRAMMING OFFERED BY THE ""# h$O WE REALLY REQUIRE SO MANY GARDEN ING PROGRAMMES MAKEOVER PROGRAMMES OR CELEBRITY CHEFS v HE IS ASKS ) COULDN T AGREE

MORE 7E ALL LOOK FORWARD TO MORE QUAL ITY SHOWS LIKE "LUE 0LANET AND ,IFE ON %ARTH !CROSS THE POND 5GLY "ETTY IS LOOKING TO RE VIVE m AGGING RATINGS IN THE 3TATES BY INSTALL ING ,INDSAY ,OHAN AS A REGULAR FOR THE NEXT SERIES )F THERE S ONE WAY TO SAVE A SHOW ITS GOT TO BE PUTTING ,OHAN IN IT -AYBE #ASUALTY SHOULD HIRE -ARGRET 4HATCHER TO PROVIDE NEW SEX APPEAL AS WELL &INALLY WE END ON A GOOD NOTE !NTHONY (EAD AKA 'ILES FROM "UFFY IS SET TO STAR IN HIS OWN "UFFY SPIN OFF CALLED 2IPPER 4HERE IS ALSO A *OSS 7HEDON CREATION $OLLHOUSE STARRING %LIZA $USHKU WHICH MAY THREATEN THE SHOW S DEVELOPMENT %ITHER ONE SOUNDS GOOD FOR CULT FANS 4HAT S IT FROM ME COME BACK NEXT YEAR FOR MORE NEWS FROM NEW EDITOR +IRSTEN

*AMES "ILLINGS

&ACEBOOK 'ROUP OF THE &ORTNIGHT ) STILL USE SLANG

5NI "ANDS

4HE -IDDLE /NES

) LL BE HONEST WHEN 'RACE $ENTON AND !NNA +NOWLES TOLD ME THAT THEIR INSPIRA TION INCLUDED PRETTY DRESSES AND 4HE %ARLY ,EARNING #ENTRE ) WAS INTRIGUED AND RIGHTLY SO "UT ON LISTENING TO #OUNTDOWN ) BEGAN TO UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHERE THEY WERE COM ING FROM 7ITH A COMBINATION OF STAMPING WHIS PERING WHISTLING SHOUTING SINGING AND A FEW TOY INSTRUMENTS INCLUDING MUSICAL EGGS 4HE -IDDLE /NES MANAGE TO CREATE A CASUAL m OATY CHILLED OUT VIBE ALMOST LIKE THE ONE YOU WOULD GET IF YOU CROSSED .I ZLOPI S *#" 3ONG WITH +ATE .ASH 3HALL WE SAY HAPPY GO LUCKY MEETS BLASÏ 4HEIR RECORDINGS ARE SOMEWHAT AMATEUR ISH HOWEVER THIS IS BY NO MEANS A CRITICISM n WHETHER THEY MEANT TO BE OR NOT THIS ADDS TO THEIR INDIVIDUALISM AND CAREFREE QUALITY

MAKING EVERY PLAY FEEL LIKE A LIVE PERFORMANCE THE MORE YOU LISTEN THE MORE YOU HEAR

4HE VOCALS ARE EFFORTLESSLY LAYERED AND GIVE A REAL SENSE OF 'RACE AND !NNA S FRIEND SHIP FORGED APPARENTLY THROUGH A MIXTURE OF 0HILOSOPHY SEMINARS AND DRUNKEN EN COUNTERS IN THE ,#2 7HO S TO SAY EDUCATION AND ALCOHOL DON T MIX 4HEIR COMBINATION OF QUIRKY INSTRU MENTS BEAUTIFUL LYRICS REMARKABLE HARMO NIES AND CATCHY RHYTHMS MAKE 4HE -IDDLE /NES PERFECTLY UNIQUE AND WELL WORTH A LIS TEN 4HE BAND RECENTLY CAME SECOND IN "ATTLE OF THE "ANDS HELD IN THE "LUE "AR BUT FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO MISSED THEM THEY HAVE AN UPCOMING GIG ON TH *UNE AT THE 1UEEN #HARLOTTE SUPPORTING 4HE &OSTER +IDS AND 4HE 3CHOOL !LTERNATIVELY YOU CAN l ND PHOTOS AND SONGS ON THEIR -Y3PACE PAGE WWW MYSPACE COM THEMIDDLEONES %MILY 7EST

3IX $EGREES OF 3EPARATION

FROM THE S

!H THE S n WE VE LIVED IT AND WE LOVED IT /K SO THE LOVE DIED A LITTLE FOR ME WHEN ON MY EIGHTEENTH BIRTHDAY MY MUM DUG OUT THE OLD SCHOOL PHOTOS OF ME IN NEON LIME GREEN LEGGINGS A BRIGHT ORANGE T SHIRT AND A BOWL CUT BLISSFULLY SINGING ALONG TO (ANSON LIKE AN EXTRA ON 4HE &RESH 0RINCE OF "EL !IR /H THE SHAME "UT ) WAS COOL WE WERE COOL )T WAS A hMOST EXCELLENTv TIME 9ES 2 +ELLY IS LONG GONE WHICH CAN ) JUST SAY IS A SHAME BUT CLOSE YOUR EYES AND LISTEN IT S LIKE TRAVELLING BACK IN TIMEx h) STILL USE SLANG FROM THE Sv IS A GROUP WHICH CELEBRATES THE WORDS AND PHRAS ES WHICH HAVEN T YET DIED OUT WHICH WE STILL

5NI "ANDS 6OYAGERS

4IM 2OTH

THE DAD OF 6OYAGERS DRUMMER HAPPENS TO BE IN THE 3TRANGLERS WHO HAD HITS WITH 'OLDEN "ROWN AND 0EACHES 4HEY RECENTLY PLAYED THEIR l RST GIG AT THE 1UEEN #HARLOTTE JUST LAST WEEK TO A VERY AP PRECIATIVE CROWD 4HEY ARE UNFORTUNATELY UN SIGNED AT THE MOMENT BUT WE RE SURE IT WILL NOT STAY LIKE THAT FOR VERY LONG 4O HAVE A LISTEN TO THEIR SONGS AND CHECK OUT ANY UPCOMING GIGS HAVE AT LOOK AT THEIR -Y3PACE PAGE AT WWW MYSPACE COM VOYAG ERSBAND 7E WOULD PERSONALLY RECOMMEND HAVING A LISTEN TO 4HE $UKE OF .EW 9ORK IF ONLY FOR THE STUNNING GUITAR RIFF

3TARRED AS 'UILDENSTERN IN THE l LM VERSION OF 4OM 3TOPPARD S (AMLET SPIN OFF 2OSENCRANTZ AND 'UILDENSTERN ARE $EAD ALONGSIDE 'ARY /LDMAN 7HO PLAYED 3IRIUS "LACK IN TWO OF THE (ARRY 0OTTER INSTALMENTS ALONGSIDE THE DEPLOR ABLE 0ETER 0ETTIGREW PLAYED BY THE ACTOR WITH WHOM HE SHARED THE ROLE OF 2OSENCRANTZ 4IMOTHY 3PALL 7HO PLAYED THE PART IN +ENNETH "RANAGH S ALSO 0ROFESSOR ,OCKHART FROM (ARRY 0OTTER AND 4HE #HAMBER OF 3ECRETS VERSION OF (AMLET IN WHICH THE ROLE OF 'ERTRUDE BROUGHT OUT OF RETIREMENT ACTRESS *ULIE #HRISTIE 7HO ALSO PLAYED THE MOTHER OF ANOTHER $EFENSE !GAINST THE $ARK !RTS TEACHER $AVID 4HEW LIS IN $RAGONHEART AND WENT ON TO PLAY -ADAME 2OSMERTA IN (ARRY 0OTTER AND THE 0RISONER OF !ZKABAN 3HE SHARED THE ROLE OF 'ERTRUDE WITH 'LENN #LOSE 7HO PLAYED THE ROLE IN THE VERSION OF (AMLET STARRING -EL 'IBSON IN THE TITLE ROLE AND ALSO (ELENA "ONHAM #ARTER !S /PHELIA 3HE PLAYS "ELLATRIX ,ESTRANGE THE SISTER AND MURDERER OF 'ARY /LDMAN AND ALSO

INCIDENTALLY LIVED WITH +ENNETH "RANAGH FOR l VE YEARS AND APPEARED WITH HIM IN S &RANKENSTEIN IN WHICH HE WAS ALSO HER DIRECTOR 3HE WAS ONE OF THE STARS OF THE REMAKE OF 4HE 0LANET OF THE !PES WHICH ALSO FEATURED THE NASTY 'ENERAL 4HADE A HEAVILY MADE UP

4IM 2OTH

USE TODAY IN ANY NORMAL CONVERSATION EVEN THE MOST FORMAL ONES %VER CONl RMED A MEETING WITH YOUR SEM INAR LEADER WITH EITHER hCOOLv hAWESOMEv OR hWICKEDv -E TOO %VER SAID hBUMMERv SLIGHTLY TOO LOUDLY TO ABSOLUTELY NO ONE WHEN YOU VE MISSED THE BUS 9EP ME TOO %VER DESCRIBED THE FOOD HALL IN #HAPLEl ELD 3HOPPING #ENTRE ON A 3ATURDAY AS h#HAV TASTICv 7ELL DUH 3O DON T BE A DIV HEAD IT S TIME YOU TOO JOINED THE &ACEBOOKERS WHO GALLANTLY ADMIT THAT THEY STILL USE THE hTOTALLY WACKv LANGUAGE OF THE ORIGINAL PIONEERS LIKE 7AYNE OF 7AYNE S 7ORLD OR "ILL AND 4ED KEEP THE S SLANG ALIVE (ELL YEAH HOMESLICE %MILY 7EST

0AUL (EATH

*ENNA 7HYSALL

6OYAGERS IS MADE UP OF l VE GUYS AT 5%! WHO HAVE BEEN FRIENDS SINCE THEIR l RST YEAR WITH FOUR OF THEM AT PRESENT SHARING A HOUSE 4HE CURRENT LINE UP INCLUDES 3TEPHEN 7AGSTAFF ON LEAD VOX AND GUITAR #RAIG (ARTON ON VOX AND GUITAR *EREMY "URNEL ON DRUMS *ACK 3TEWART ON BASS AND 3TEPHEN (ALL ON LEAD VOCAL AND KEYTAR )NSPIRED BY SUCH GREATS AS *OY $IVISION

4HE #URE ,ES 3AVY &AV .EUTRAL -ILK (OTEL AND 46 ON THE 2ADIO )T IS CLEAR EVEN TO THE UNTRAINED EAR THESE BANDS HAVE A HUGE INm U ENCE ON 6OYAGERS 4HROUGH THIS THEY ARE THEN ABLE TO MIX POST PUNK ELECTRONIC AND OTHER ATMOSPHERIC ELEMENTS TOGETHER IN AN EXCEP TIONALLY CREATIVE WAY .OW A LITTLE TRIVIA FOR ALL YOU MUSIC FANS

O T

E D I U '

S

T N E 4HE %V 3UMMER &UN ON YOUR DOORSTEP 7HETHER YOU RE GIVING YOURSELF A DAY OFF REVISION OR YOUR EXAMS HAVE l NISHED YOU LL NO DOUBT WANT TO l ND SOME FUN AND FROLICS RIGHT ON YOUR .ORWICH DOORSTEP -ARCUS *ONES POINTS YOU IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION .ORWICH AND .ORFOLK &ESTIVAL 4HE .ORFOLK AND .ORWICH &ESTIVAL IS THE OLDEST SINGLE CITY FESTIVAL IN %NGLAND ORIGINATING IN AS AN ANNUAL SERVICE AND CONCERT IN .ORWICH #ATHEDRAL TO RAISE MONEY FOR THE .ORFOLK AND .ORWICH (OSPITAL /VER YEARS LATER THE FESTIVAL IS STILL GOING AND INDEED EXPANDING IN ITS POPULARITY AS ATTENDANCES OF OVER PEOPLE LAST YEAR TESTIl ES 4HIS YEAR THE FESTIVAL IS RUNNING FROM THE ND TH OF -AY WITH EVENTS TAKING PLACE ACROSS .ORWICH AND BEYOND -ANY OF YOU MIGHT HAVE SPOTTED THE .O&IT 3TATE #IRCUS WHO HAVE TAKEN UP RESIDENCE IN %ARLHAM 0ARK OPPOSITE THE 3PORTSPARK AND THEY LL BE PUTTING ON PERFORMANCES DURING THE COURSE OF THE FESTIVAL 4HE 2OYAL !CADEMY OF -USIC ARE PERFORMING AT !SSEMBLY (OUSE WHILE -ICHAEL #LARK ;LEFT= THE SO CALLED h"AD "OY OF "RIT ISH "ALLETv CELEBRATES A UNION OF CLASSICISM AND MODERNISM BY MERGING 3TRAVINSKY S MU SIC WITH HIS OWN CHOREOGRAPHY 4HERE IS PLENTY MORE GOING ON AND MANY OF THE EVENTS HAVE a SEATS AVAILABLE FOR ANYONE UNDER &OR MORE DETAILS TIMES AND PRICES VISIT WWW NNFESTIVAL ORG UK

.ORWICH #ATHEDRAL

%ATON 0ARK /N *UNE TH %ATON 0ARK IS CELEBRATING ITS TH ANNIVERSARY AND

LIKE ANYTHING APPROACHING THAT AGE IT PERHAPS LOOKS A LITTLE WORN IN PLACES (OWEVER IT MAKES UP FOR THIS WITH AMPLE AMOUNTS OF VARIETY AND A GENUINELY WELCOMING NATURE THAT MAKES YOU WANT TO SPEND MORE TIME THERE !S WELL AS PLEASANT STROLLS ALONG TREE LINED PATHS THERE IS THE ROTUNDA .ORWICH S ANSWER TO THE 4AJ -AHAL A MINIATURE RAILWAY

A MODEL BOATING POND SEVERAL FOOTBALL AND CRICKET PITCHES AND

ARGUABLY ITS CROWNING GLORY A SPLENDID 0ITCH AND 0UTT COURSE 4HE HOLE PITCH AND PUTT COURSE IS AT THE "LUEBELL 2OAD END OF %ATON 0ARK AND IS OPEN DAILY AT AM THE LAST TEE OFF VARIES AC CORDING TO THE TIME OF YEAR )T COSTS ABOUT l VE POUNDS AND GOLF CLUBS AND BALLS ARE PROVIDED 7HETHER YOU FANCY YOUR SELF AS A PRO OR JUST WANT TO WILE AWAY A FEW HOURS

A 3UNDAY AFTERNOON ROUND IS A GLORIOUS WAY TO RECOVER FROM A HARD WEEK OF REVISION WWW FRIENDSOFEATONPARK CO UK

-ANY PEOPLE MANAGE TO GO THROUGH THEIR ENTIRE TIME AT 5%! WITHOUT VISITING THE #ATHEDRAL 4HIS IS ESPECIALLY SCANDALOUS GIVEN THE FACT THAT ENTRY IS FREE AND YOU LL BE TREATED TO SOME SPECTACULAR ARCHITECTURE AND PLEASANTLY CALMING GROUNDS 0LUS IT IS DOWN IN 4OMBLAND SO YOU CAN l ND A SUITABLE DRINKING ESTABLISHMENT AFTERWARDS TO CELEBRATE YOUR VISIT

)CE %XPERIENCE 2ELIVE ALL THOSE CHILDREN S PARTIES OF YESTERDAY BY DON NING SOME ICE SKATES AND GLIDING OR PERHAPS MORE AC CURATELY SLIDING YOUR WAY ROUND THIS INDOOR ICE RINK JUST NEXT DOOR TO !3$! ON THE RING ROAD )T IS a FOR A TWO HOUR SESSION AND YOU LL NO DOUBT HAVE THE BRUISED AND ACHING FEET THE NEXT DAY TO SERVE AS MEMORIES OF YOUR TRIP WWW ICEEXPERIENCE CO UK

.ORWICH #ASTLE #ASTING ITS MEDIEVAL GAZE OVER #ASTLE -EADOW THE CASTLE

LIKE THE CATHEDRAL MAY WELL BE SOMETHING YOU VE PASSED PLENTY OF TIMES WITHOUT ACTUALLY GOING INSIDE !GAIN YOU SHOULD HAVE NO EXCUSE AS YOU CAN @0OP IN FOR A POUND BETWEEN PM AND PM EACH WEEKDAY

$O $IFFERENT )N .ORFOLK

!CROSS THE COUNTRY

)F YOU l ND YOURSELF WILING AWAY THE SUMMER DAYS AFTER YOU VE l NISHED YOUR EXAMS AND ARE AT A LOSS OF WHAT TO DO WHY NOT VENTURE OUTSIDE OF .ORWICH FOR SOME OF .ORFOLK S COUNTLESS ATTRACTIONS 2ACHAEL 0RICE SHOWS US THAT BY GETTING OUT OF THE CITY YOU CAN EASILY l ND LOADS OF GREAT DAYS OUT

,EAVING .ORFOLK OVER THE SUMMER TO EXPLORE THE LIFE OUTSIDE THE COUNTY 4HEN &IONA "ILLINGS HAS A FEW SUGGESTIONS OF WHAT YOU COULD CHECK OUT IN THE REST OF THE 5+

7ALKING IN .ORFOLK 'O BOATING ON THE .ORFOLK "ROADS AT 7ROXHAM

3ANDRINGHAM

/NLY EIGHT MILES OUTSIDE OF .ORWICH

7ROXHAM IS EASY TO GET TO BY TAKING THE BUS ROUTE OUT OF .OR WICH 9OU CAN l ND MANY DIFFERENT COMPANIES ONCE IN 7ROXHAM AND YOU CAN CHOOSE TO HIRE A BOAT EITHER BY THE HOUR OR FOR THE DAY AND TAKE A TRIP DOWN THE RIVER 4HERE ARE PLENTY OF STOP OFF PLACES ALONG THE RIVER FOR A BREAK OR FOR LUNCH

INCLUDING PUBS AND RESTAURANTS

OR TAKE A PICNIC IF YOU RE STILL ON A STUDENT BUDGET

4HE MUCH LOVED COUNTRY RETREAT OF THE "RITISH MONARCHY 3ANDRINGHAM IS ALSO OPEN TO THE PUBLIC FROM %AST ER TO /CTOBER 7ITH ACRE GARDENS

TOUR GUIDES RECCOMEND AT LEAST FOUR HOURS IN ORDER TO SEE EVERYTHING a WILL GIVE YOU A PASS FOR ACCESS TO THE HOUSE

GARDEN AND MU SEUM

%AST !NGLIA IS FAMOUS FOR ITS PICTURESQUE SCENERY AND THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF WALKS AVAIL ABLE ON THE INTERNET OR YOU CAN QUITE EASILY PLAN YOUR OWN ROUTE )F YOU FANCY A LONG DIS TANCE WALK TRY THE ANCIENT 0ED DARS 7AY .ATIONAL 4RAIL WHICH LINKS TO THE .ORFOLK #OAST 0ATH 4HERE ARE ALSO MANY WALKS BY THE "ROADS AND 4HET FORD &OREST IS ALSO A POPULAR CHOICE

"ANHAM :OO ACRES OF PARKLAND

OVER ANIMALS AND ONLY TWENTY MILES FROM .ORWICH /NE OF THE CLASSIC DAYS OUT

YOU REALLY CAN T GO WRONG WITH A DAY OUT AT THE ZOO

'O #RABBING AT #ROMER

4HETFORD &OREST

#ROMER IS A GREAT DAY OUT ES PECIALLY CRABBING OFF THE PIER 9OU CAN ALSO WANDER ROUND THE TOWN PLAY MINI GOLF ON THE CLIFFS BY THE SEA AND LUNCH AT -ARY *ANE S &ISH "AR AND 2ESTAURANT IS DEl NITELY RECOMMENDED !LSO FAMOUS FOR ITS SCENIC COAST IT S ALSO GREAT FOR A DAY ON THE BEACH "OTH BUSES AND TRAINS RUN TO #ROMER ON A REGULAR BASIS FROM .ORWICH

'REAT 9ARMOUTH

'REAT 9ARMOUTH IS %AST !NGLIA S ANSWER TO "LACKPOOL WITH AN IMPRESSIVE VARIETY OF ATTRACTIONS

INCLUDING THE SEAFRONT AND THE 'OLDEN -ILE 4ACKY BUT FUN IT S GREAT FOR A SUMMER S DAY OUT AND

+INGS ,YNN 4HE LARGEST TOWN IN 7EST .ORFOLK IT HAS A LOT TO OFFER FOR A DAY OUT 7ITH TWO MARKET SQUARES +INGS ,YNN HAS MARKETS ON BOTH 4UESDAYS AND 3ATUR DAYS /N THE SOUTHERN OUTSKIRTS OF THE TOWN YOU CAN ALSO l ND .ORFOLK ARENA

WHICH HOSTS STOCKCAR BANGERS MOTOR BIKE AND MONSTER TRUCK RACING

!S WELL AS VARIOUS FESTIVALS WHICH ARE HOSTED HERE 4HETFORD &OREST IS ALSO HOME TO THE 'O !PE (IGH 7IRE &OREST !DVENTURE AT (IGH ,ODGE !N AWARD WINNING HIGH WIRE FOREST ADVENTURE IT STRETCHES FOR ABOUT A MILE THROUGH THE TREE CANOPY 'REAT FUN FOR HEIGHT LOV ERS AND DAREDEVILS THE COURSE IS SPLIT INTO A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT SECTIONS AND TAKES BETWEEN HOURS TO COMPLETE

EASILY ACCESSIBLE BY BOTH TRAIN

OR ROAD FROM .ORWICH 4HE SEA SIDE TOWN OFFERS ENDLESS HOURS OF ENTERTAINMENT ESPECIALLY DURING THE SUMMER MONTHS 7ITHIN THE TOWN ITSELF YOU CAN VISIT THE 3EAL IFE #ENTRE THE CIRCUS AT THE (IP PODROME 0LEASURE "EACH ,EISURE 0ARK 4HRIGBY 7ILDLIFE 0ARK JUST OUTSIDE 9ARMOUTH AND MUCH MORE %QUALLY IF YOU RE LOOKING FOR A RELAXING DAY ON THE BEACH

9ARMOUTH HAS MILES OF SANDY BEACHES WHICH ARE BOTH BLUE m AG AND AWARD WINNING 0ERFECT FOR A DAY SWIMMING IN THE SEA

SUNBATHING ICE CREAM AND SAND CASTLES 4HE TOWN ALSO BOASTS LIKE MOST SEASIDE TOWNS AN IMPRESSIVE

"RESSINGHAM 3TEAM -USEUM 4AKE A TRIP TO "RESSINGHAM 3TEAM -USEUM AND 'AR DENS NEAR $ISS !S WELL AS THE 6ICTORIAN STEAM RAILWAYS IT BOASTS THE ONLY OFl CIAL $AD S !RMY .ATIONAL #OLLECTION IN EXISTENCE !N ADULT TICKET COSTS BETWEEN a

MONUMENT 4HE TOWN IS l LLED WITH MUSEUMS AND GALLERIES

MOSTLY CENTRED IN THE HISTORIC 3OUTH 1UAY WHICH IS ALSO HOME TO THE HISTORIC 4IME AND 4IDE -USEUM A TRIBUTE TO 9ARMOUTH LIFE AND HISTORY GAMBLING SCENE FROM ARCADES ON THE SEA FRONT TO THE 'REAT 9ARMOUTH RACE TRACK 9ARMOUTH 3TADIUM IS %AST !NGLIA S PREMIER GREYHOUND RACING VENUE AND ALSO STAGES TOP CLASS MOTOR RACING AND STOCK CAR RACING (ISTORICALLY BEHIND THE GLITZ AND GLAMOUR 'REAT 9ARMOUTH IS ALSO LARGELY ASSOCIATED WITH .ORFOLK BORN ,ORD .ELSON AND IS HOME TO BOTH THE .ORFOLK .ELSON MUSEUM AND .ELSON S

3HERINGHAM 3HERINGHAM IS A POPULAR TOURIST TOWN ON THE COAST

AND HAS GREAT BEACHES )T S ALSO THE HEADQUARTERS FOR THE .ORTH .ORFOLK RAILWAY ALSO KNOWN AS THE 0OPPY ,INE AND ITS MUSEUMS &OR a YOU CAN BUY A DAY PASS AND TAKE A TRIP BY STEAM TRAIN THROUGH .ORFOLK ALONG THE 0OPPY ,INE WHICH CONNECTS 3HERRINGHAM 7EYBOURNE

(OLT AND +ELLING 0ARK (EATH

0LEASUREWOOD (ILLS

*UST OUTSIDE 'REAT 9AR MOUTH 0LEASUREWOOD (ILLS IS %AST !NGLIA S NUMBER ONE FAM ILY LEISURE PARK AND A GREAT DAY OUT 4HE LARGEST PARK IN THE RE GION AND MINUTES FROM .ORWICH ITS EAS ILY ACCESSIBLE BY TRAIN

BUS AND CAR 7ITH RIDES FOR EVERY TASTE AND STOMACH

THERE S SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE 4HE PARK IS SET IN A VERY GREEN

PARKLAND AREA WHICH IS BEST SEEN WHEN ON THE SKI LIFT THEMED TRANSPORT WHICH TAKES YOU FROM ONE SIDE OF THE PARK TO THE OTHER !ND AT a A TICKET IT S A GREAT DAY OUT WHICH WON T BREAK THE BANK Â

7ORLD .AKED "IKE 2IDE

0RIDE ,ONDON

&ANCY TAKING PART IN AN OIL DEPENDENCY PROTEST AND CELEBRATION OF THE HUMAN BODY 4HEN HEAD ON DOWN TO THE FOL LOWING CITIES AROUND THE 5+ TO TAKE PART IN THE 7ORLD .AKED "IKE 2IDE HAPPEN ING THROUGHOUT *UNE IN COUNTRIES

(YDRO #ONNECT -USIC &ESTIVAL WILL TAKE PLACE IN THE FAIRYTALE GROUNDS OF )NVERARAY #ASTLE IN !R GYLL FROM &RIDAY TH n 3UNDAY ST !UGUST 4HE MAGICAL ROLLING HILLS GLISTENING ,OCH &YNE AND THE HAUNTING #ASTLE MAKE THE PERFECT SETTING TO EXPERIENCE THE SOUNDS OF &RANZ &ERDINAND "LOC 0ARTY +ASABIAN 3IGUR 2OS -ANIC 3TREET 0REACH ERS 'OLDFRAPP 'RINDERMAN 3IA 2OOTS %LBOW

#AMERA /BSCURA -ERCURY 2EV AND 3PIRITUALIZED n TO NAME A FEW OF THE ANNOUNCED ARTISTS SO FAR ! FESTIVAL WITH A DIFFERENCE (YDRO #ONNECT OFFERS A RANGE OF ALTERNATIVE ENTERTAINMENT IN THE FORM OF BURLESQUE NIGHT #LUB .OIR AND SWING CLUB 6EGAS AS WELL AS A BIT OF LUXURY AT 4HE 2EST AND "E 4HANKFUL 3PA 4HE 3PEAKEASY #AFE n A SPACE WHERE COFFEE AND CONVERSATION ACOUSTIC PERFORMANCES STORYTELLING AND A BIT OF COMEDY WILL BE THE ORDER OF THE DAY )N THE #IRCUSES AND "READ &IELD YOU CAN ENJOY (EAVENLY &OODS &ROM !RGYLL INCLUDING WORLD FAMOUS ,OCH &YNE /YS TERS AND VENISON BURGERS &YNE !LES AND SAMPLE AN ARRAY OF DRAMS FROM THE 7HISKY "AR )T S REALLY EASY TO GET TO THE FESTIVAL 9OU CAN TRAVEL BY BUS TRAIN OR PLANE TO 'LASGOW AND GET A CITYLINK SHUTTLE BUS STRAIGHT FROM THE TRAIN BUS AIRPORT TO THE FESTIVAL SITE n SIMPLE )F YOU ARE NOT LUCKY ENOUGH TO WIN TICK ETS TO (YDRO #ONNECT ARE AVAILABLE BY LOGGING ONTO WWW CONNECTMUSICFESTIVAL COM OR BY CALL ING 4ICKETMASTER ON #ONNECT IS A COMMITTED #ARBON .EUTRAL FESTIVAL SO WE URGE MUSIC FANS TO HELP OUR BEAUTIFUL PLANET BY TRAVELING BY COACH "US TICKETS ARE ON SALE NOW AND MUST BE BOOKED IN ADVANCE FROM WWW CIT YLINK CO UK OR BY CALLING 4ICKET TRAVEL PACKAGES CAN ALSO BE PURCHASED TOGETHER FROM 4ICKETMASTER AT POINT OF TICKET PURCHASE 7E HAVE ONE PAIR OF WEEKEND AND CAMP ING TICKETS TO GIVE AWAY FOR A LUCKY WINNERS AND A FRIEND 4O BE IN WITH A CHANCE OF WIN NING ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS EMAIL CONCRETE EVENT UEA AC UK WITH YOUR NAME

,ONDON IS THE PLACE TO BE ON TH *ULY WHEN 0RIDE ,ONDON HITS THE CAPITAL !T TENDANCE IN PREVIOUS YEARS HAS TOTALLED UP TO

SO MAKE SURE YOU GET THERE IN PLENTY OF TIME TO SEE THE SOMETHING BRILLIANTLY BRIGHT m OATS AND OVER COSTUMED GROUPS 4HE MAIN PARADE STARTS AT PM AND GOES FROM /XFORD 3TREET THROUGH 0IC CADILLY #IRCUS AND 4RAFALGAR 3QUARE

TO 6ICTORIA %MBANKMENT 4HERE S ALSO A RALLY IN 4RAFALGAR 3QUARE A #ABARET STAGE IN ,EICESTER 3QUARE FROM PM

AND PLENTY TO DO IN 3OHO 3QUARE "EST OF ALL IT S ENTIRELY FREE 3O WHY NOT POP ON DOWN WWW PRIDELONDON ORG PARADE

3OUTHAMPTON &RI *UNE PM "RIGHTON (OVE 3AT *UNE AM 9ORK 3AT *UNE PM 3HEFl ELD 3UN *UNE TIME 4"!

-ANCHESTER &RI *UNE PM %DINBURGH 3AT *UNE NOON ,ONDON 3AT *UNE PM ! NUMBER OF OTHER CITIES ARE ALSO LOOK ING INTO TAKING PART SO WHY NOT SHED YOUR CLOTHES AND GET INVOLVED WWW WORLDNAKEDBIKERIDE ORG UK

3UMMER 3OLSTICE AT 3TONEHENGE 7ATCH THE SUMMER DAWN ARRIVE IN STYLE WITH OTHER PEOPLE AT 3TONE HENGE ON THE ST *UNE %NGLISH (ERIT AGE WILL PROVIDE MANAGED ACCESS AND A FREE MARSHALLED CAR PARK 9OU WILL BE GIVEN A SITE MAP THERE AND THE MONU MENT IS OPEN FROM PM 4HERE S A KM WALK TO 3TONEHENGE FROM THE CAR PARK SO JUST FOLLOW THE CROWDS DOWN THE LANE TOWARDS THE MONUMENT BE PREPARED FOR A BAG SEARCH AT THE EN TRANCE &OOD AND TOILETS AVAILABLE AND SUNRISE WILL BE AT AM WWW ENGLISH HERITAGE ORG UK

2ED "ULL &LUGTAG

'REAT "RITISH $UCK 2ACE

)F YOU LIKE WATCHING TEAMS OF PEOPLE TRY AND m Y THEIR HOMEMADE PLANES AS FAR AS POSSIBLE OVER A LAKE THEN THE 2ED "ULL &LUGTAG MIGHT JUST BE FOR YOU )T TAKES PLACE IN (YDE 0ARK ON 3ATURDAY TH *UNE AT PM AND ENTRY WILL BE BY ADVANCE TICKET ONLY AND FREE ONES WILL BE ISSUED CHOSEN BY ONLINE BALLOTS 4O GET YOUR HANDS ON A TICKET APPLY ON THE WEBSITE WHERE YOU CAN ASK FOR UP TO FOUR TICKETS 4HE LAST TWO BALLOTS ARE ON TH AND RD -AY AND SUCCESS FUL APPLICANTS WILL BE NOTIl ED BY EMAIL AFTER EACH OF THEM WWW REDBULLm UGTAG CO UK

4%2-3 !.$ #/.$)4)/.3 #OMPETITION IS OPEN TO OVER S ONLY 0RIZE IS NON TRANSFERABLE AND CANNOT BE EX CHANGED FOR CASH 0ROMOTER RESERVES THE RIGHT TO REFUSE ENTRY

)F YOU VE EVER DREAMED OF GETTING INTO THE RECORD BOOKS THEN HERE S YOUR CHANCE /N ST !UGUST AT PM

RUBBER DUCKS WILL BE LAUNCHED INTO THE 2IVER 4HAMES ON A DEDICATED COURSE AT -OLESEY ,OCK NEAR (AMPTON #OURT )T WILL COST YOU A MERE a TO ADOPT A DUCK AND YOU COULD WIN THE l RST PRIZE OF a OR ONE OF OTHER GREAT PRIZES 4HE NATURAL CURRENT WILL TAKE THEM DOWN THE KM COURSE WHICH IS THE 'UINNESS 7ORLD 2ECORD REQUIRE MENT FOR DISTANCE AND SHOULD TAKE A COUPLE OF HOURS TO COMPLETE WWW THEGREATBRITISHDUCKRACE CO UK

"EACH "REAK ,IVE 4HE 5+ S ONLY STUDENT FESTIVAL TH *UNE 0OLZEATH .ORTH #ORNWALL a 2OLL OUT THE BEACH AND ROLL ON THE TUNES SCHOOL IS OUT FOR SUMMER 4HE "OUTIQUE FESTIVAL OF MAGIC AND MEMORIES COMBINES A KILLER LINE UP SURF BEACH GOOD FOLK AND FRIVOLOUS FUN "EACH "REAK ,IVE IS THE PERFECT #ORNISH COASTAL COMING TOGETHER OF MINDS BODIES AND SPIRITS IN THE ,/.' POST XAM SUMMER DAZE OF *UNE !S AROUND STUDENTS MAKE THE BEAUTIFUL 0OLZEATH THEIR DAY HOME TO CELEBRATE THE END OF EXAMS AND THE BEGINNING OF THE SUMMER FOR THE STUDENT FRIENDLY PRICE OF a THIS KILLER LINE UP IS NOT THE ONLY GEM IN THE "", EXPE RIENCE AS THEY LAY ON SOME TOP "", STYLE FESTIVAL FUN 'ET READY FOR 4HE -IGHTY #ORNISH 'OBLET EVERYTHING FROM @HAY BAIL HURLING TO @PIMP MY SHEEP 4HE 4ICKET TO 2IDE 3URF

#HAMPIONSHIPS ECO FRIENDLY HOT TUBS ON SITE MASSEUSES

CIRCUS ACTS BURLESQUE BEAUTIES AND BARN DANCES OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES AND ADRENALIN PURSUITS THE BIG FANCY DRESS l NALE AND THEIR VERY OWN PRIVATE PATH TO THE BEACH "EING A VERY GREEN AND ORGANIC FESTIVAL THEY WILL BE KEEPING THEIR IMPACT ON THE ENVIRONMENT LOW AND THEIR FOCUS ON LOCAL SOURCING AND SUPPORTING THE LOCAL AREA HIGH INCLUDING WELL PRICED

LOCALLY SOURCED FOOD AND BEER +EEPING TO THEIR ROOTS THE COMMUNITY VIBE THAT EARNED "", A NOMINATION FOR @"EST .EW &ESTIVAL IN THE 5+ FESTIVAL AWARDS WILL LIVE ON %XPERIENCE THE MAGIC AND THE LUNACY IN A BEACH SIDE STUDENT COMMUNITY BY GOING TO WWW BEACHBREAKLIVE COM 2OLL ON THE SUMMER ROLL OUT THE WAVES SEE YOU IN THE SUN SHINE HAPPY DAYS

9OU VE HEARD ABOUT THE FESTIVAL NOW WIN SOME TICKETS TO IT 7E HAVE A PAIR OF TICKETS FOR THE FESTIVAL TO GIVE TO ONE VERY LUCKY WINNER !LL YOU HAVE TO DO IS EMAIL CONCRETE EVENT UEA AC UK BY WITH THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION 7HICH COUNTY IS THE "EACH "REAK FESTIVAL TAKING PLACE IN

%NJOYING .ORWICH .ORFOLK AND BEYOND DURING THE SUMMER MONTHS

'OOD LUCK IN YOUR EXAMS

HAVE A GREAT 3UMMER AND THANKS FOR READING 4HE %VENT

0QFO CBOL IPMJEBZT .0/%": 5)634%": QN '3*%": 4"563%": .*%/*()5 46/%": QN

4HE %VENT S GUIDE TO AVOIDING THE REVISION BLUES WHERE TO GO

HOW TO GET THERE AND WHAT TO EAT AND DRINK

%ARLHAM 0ARK #AFÏ Under New Management

!LFRESCO $INING Hakan and Ingrid would like to welcome you to Earlham Park Café Full English Breakfast and Vegetarian Breakfast UEA Mega English Breakfast *STUDENT SPECIAL* Lunches: Sandwiches, Rolls and Baguettes Afternoon Tea’s, Soft Drinks and Ice Creams all at reasonable prices!

Come and enjoy the Beautiful Yare Valley National Trust Nature Walk.

Earlham Park is a great open space where you can have fun with friends and family without it costing the earth

&IND US IN THE CENTRE OF %ARLHAM 0ARK

59 Dereham Road

Wide range of wine, beer, cider, spirits, local and foreign ales.

For a full range of what is on offer visit the website at:

5% discount on presentation of UEA student card on Mondays and Wednesdays.

! $AY )N 4HE ,IFE /F 4HE %DITOR .-% IS UNDOUBTEDLY THE MOST PROVOCATIVE INmUENTIAL AND SUCCESSFUL MUSIC PUBLICA TION IN THE COUNTRY %DITOR #ONOR -C.ICHOLAS THE @BIG CHEESE OF MUSIC JOURNALISM

TAKES TIME OUT TO TALK TO -ELISSA 9ORK ABOUT THE INS AND OUTS OF HIS MAGAZINE 4HERE AREN T MANY PUBLICATIONS THAT HAVE STUCK AROUND SINCE

MUSICALLY INFORMING EACH NEW GENERATION BREAKING ICONIC BANDS AND MANAGING TO REINVENT ITSELF WITH EACH NEW DECADE 4HIS IS WHY THE .EW -USICAL %XPRESS

MORE COMMONLY KNOWN AS THE .-% HAS SUCH A STRONG IDENTITY IT ALMOST SEEMS LIKE A GENRE OF MUSIC IN ITSELF ,OVE IT OR HATE IT

WE VE ALL HAD A GANDER AND BEEN PROVOKED BY ITS TEAM OF WITTY

OPINIONATED WRITERS 3ITTING AT THE HELM OF THIS POP CULTURAL GIANT IS .-% %DITOR #ONOR -C.ICHOLAS (E WAS NAMED ONE OF ,ONDON S MOST INmUEN TIAL PEOPLE OF BY 4HE %VENING 3TANDARD AND HAS THE MONUMENTAL TASK OF SUCCESSFULLY GUIDING A HIS TORICAL BRAND INTO THE INTERNET AGE 4HE %VENT IS HERE TO PICK THE BRAIN AND GLEAN SOME WISDOM FROM THE MAN WITH AT ONCE THE MOST ENVI ABLE AND STRESSFUL JOB IN ALTERNA TIVE MUSIC -C.ICHOLAS BEGAN HIS CAREER WORKING FOR A PARTICULARLY UNIN SPIRING TECHNOLOGY PUBLICATION AND DIVED INTO THE DANCE MUSIC PRESS ALMOST BY ACCIDENT DESPER ATELY TRYING TO lND A ROUTE INTO WHAT HE CONSIDERED hPROPER MAGA ZINES v 3O HOW DOES ONE MAKE THE TRANSITION FROM THE NICHE WORLD OF UNDERGROUND DANCE TO THE 5+ S BEST SELLING MUSIC WEEKLY h4HEY ARE BOTH VERY SIMILAR PLACES TO BE v -C.ICHOLAS EXPLAINS h) THINK THE DANCE SCENE GENERATED ITS OWN HERITAGE VERY QUICKLY 4HEY RE VERY GOOD AT DOCUMENTING IT AND CEL EBRATING IT SO IT ALL BECAME A MYTH VERY QUICKLY "UT THE THING THAT YOU GET WORKING AT THE .-% IS THAT YOU IMMEDIATELY GET THIS ENORMOUS HERITAGE WITH IT AND YOU CAN T OP ERATE DAY TO DAY WITHOUT THIS SENSE OF YEARS OF HISTORY BEHIND YOU "UT IN TERMS OF DAY TO DAY RUN NING IT S LOTS OF YOUNG JOURNALISTS WORKING VERY HARD DURING THE DAY AND THEN GOING OUT AND GETTING COMPLETELY RATTED IN THE EVENING 4O THAT EXTENT IT S NO DIFFERENT AT ALL "UT ) WAS lRED INSIDE OF A YEAR SO ) HAD TO MOVE ON v HE ADDS

NONCHALANTLY 4HE SIMILARITIES BETWEEN THE ETHOS OF THE DANCE SCENE AND AL TERNATIVE ROCK SCENE HAS BEEN

MADE PARTICULARLY APPAR ENT IN RECENT YEARS WITH THE RISE OF @.EW 2AVE AND THE CROSS OVER POPULARITY OF DANCE ACTS LIKE *US TICE AND ,#$ 3OUNDSYSTEM h) THINK THAT RECENTLY UNDERSTAND ABLY PEOPLE HAVE JUST FALLEN OUT OF LOVE WITH INDIE A BIT BECAUSE IT S BECOME JUST SO ENORMOUSLY APPROPRIATED BY THE MAINSTREAM

-C.ICHOLAS SAYS MATTER OF FACTLY h7HEN ) TURNED UP IN

THE 3TROKES AND THE 3TRIPES HAD BROKEN ALREADY AND WERE JUST HAV ING THEIR MONUMENTAL EFFECT ON "RITISH MUSIC 4HIS NEED WAS CREAT ED AMONGST MUSIC FANS OF THE 5+ SCENE BUT THERE WAS NO WAY OF lLL ING IT BECAUSE THERE WERE NO "RITISH

h) FEEL THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE FALLEN OUT OF LOVE WITH INDIE BECAUSE THEY FEEL LIKE IT S BEEN CORRUPTED BY THE MAINSTREAM 4HEY RE PROBABLY NOT WRONG v BANDS v 3TEP FORWARD THE ANGULAR ART ROCK OF &RANZ &ERDINAND AND THEN THOSE NOSTALGIC AND NOTORIOUS ,IBERTINES h) FOUND IT FUNNY ACTU ALLY BECAUSE WHEN ) STARTED WORK

ING AT .-% THE MAGAZINE LOOKED REALLY DEPRESSING IT WAS FULL OF A WHOLE LOAD OF PEOPLE IN PARKAS WHO LOOKED A BIT GRUBBY AND WE HAD A JOKE WHICH WAS THE @GOOD HAIR GOOD SHOES POLICY v HE GRINS h)F YOU DIDN T HAVE GOOD HAIR AND GOOD SHOES YOU DIDN T GET INTO THE MAGAZINE )T WAS AN OFlCE JOKE AND THEN WHEN &RANZ &ERDINAND TURNED UP IT WAS LIKE @'REAT HAIR BUT FUCK ME MAN GREAT SHOES 4HEY HAD REALLY GREAT SHOES !NOTHER THING ABOUT THE 3TROKES THEY ALWAYS HAD GOOD SHOES v h.OT ONLY THAT v ADDS -C.I CHOLAS MORE SERIOUSLY hIT FELT LIKE THEY WERE CONNECTING US WITH SOMETHING VERY REAL MUSICALLY AND THEIR LYRICS WERE BRILLIANT 4HAT LINE @WORDS ARE POISON DARTS OF PLEASURE WAS THE ONE THING THAT SWITCHED EVERYONE v !ND SUDDEN LY THE .-% WAS SAVED BY A FRESH AND EXHILARATING CROP OF YOUNG

INNOVATIVE "RITISH TALENT (OW EVER THE MAGAZINE AND THE MUSIC IT PROMOTED HAVE BEEN VICTIMS OF THEIR OWN SUCCESS WITH 0ETE $O HERTY REDUCED TO NOTHING MORE THAN OVERCHEWED TABLOID MEAT WHILE BOYBANDS CAVORT WANTONLY PLAYING POP SONGS ON GUITARS h4HE ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF THAT IS THE SECOND +OOKS ALBUM WHICH IS JUST FUCKING AWFUL AND IS REALLY QUITE DEPRESSING v #ONOR SIGHS h)T HAS ALL THE TRAPPINGS OF SOMETHING THAT WAS CREATED BY THE 2HYTHM &ACTORY IN %AST ,ON DON ABOUT FOUR YEARS AGO AND YET

HERE IT IS STILL KNOCKING ABOUT *UST AWFUL 3O ) FEEL THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE FALLEN OUT OF LOVE WITH INDIE BECAUSE THEY FEEL LIKE IT S BEEN COR RUPTED BY THE MAINSTREAM 4HEY RE PROBABLY NOT WRONG v 3O DANCE MUSIC THEN IS THE NEW UNCOMPRO MISED ALTERNATIVE AND THE .-% RE INVENTED ITSELF IN DAY GLO COLOURS

h4HERE AREN T CERTAIN PEOPLE WE DON T WANT READING .-%

YOU RE MORE THAN WELCOME BUT EQUALLY WE RE NOT GOING TO COMPROMISEv mINGING #33 #RYSTAL #ASTLES AND &RIENDLY &IRES INTO OUR LIVES "UT HANG ON WON T THEY JUST BE CORRUPTED BY THE MAINSTREAM AGAIN IF THOSE 3COUTING &OR 'IRLS FANS GET THEIR SQUEAKY MITTS ON .-% h.O ABSOLUTELY NOT 0EOPLE THAT LISTEN TO THAT MAINSTREAM POP MUSIC JUST STICK WITH IT v -C.I CHOLAS ASSURES US 0HEW THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE "UT HOW CAN WE BE SURE THAT .-% REMAINS THE EXCLUSIVE PROPERTY OF THE ALTERNATIVE MUSIC FAN @4HERE ARE VERY DISTINCTLY THREE KINDS OF MUSIC FAN WITHIN THIS AREA

OF GUITAR BANDS v #ONOR OBSERVES h4HERE ARE MUSIC FANS WHO WILL

FOR INSTANCE LISTEN TO THE RADIO AND IT S JUST WALLPAPER TO THEM AND IT EXISTS AND IT S THERE AND IT S EN TERTAINING AT THE TIME BUT WHEN IT S SWITCHED OFF IN A WAY THEY DON T MISS IT 4HEY HAVE NO EMOTIONAL INVOLVEMENT WITH IT WHATSOEVER 4HE SECOND GROUP ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE DElNITELY INTERESTED IN MUSIC BUT THEY MAKE MORE OF A CHOICE ABOUT THE RADIO STATION THEY LISTEN TO "UT THEY ARE VERY INTERESTED IN CHARTS IN 4OP 4ENS BECAUSE THEY WANT PEER RECOMMENDATIONS

THEY WANT TO KNOW WHAT IS POPU LAR AMONGST OTHER PEOPLE SO THAT THEY VE GOT A REAL SENSE OF DIREC TION 4HEN YOU VE GOT THE THIRD GROUP OF MUSIC FANS WHO LL RUN AN ABSOLUTE MILLION FUCKING MILES AWAY FROM ANYTHING THAT S POPULAR AND THOSE ARE THE PEOPLE THAT WE SPEAK TO 4HE ALTERNATIVES WILL AL WAYS STICK WITH US v h4HERE AREN T CERTAIN PEOPLE WE DON T WANT READING .-% YOU RE MORE THAN WELCOME BUT EQUALLY WE RE NOT GOING TO COMPROMISE v HE HASTILY ADDS 4HIS ISN T ELITISM THEN IT S A REmECTION OF THE NEEDS OF .-% READERS h) M LESS INCLINED NOW THAN EVER BEFORE TO BE REACH ING OUT TO A MAINSTREAM AUDIENCE BECAUSE ) DON T BELIEVE IT S WHAT WE SHOULD BE DOING 7E HAVE BEEN QUITE POPPY OVER THE PAST COUPLE OF YEARS BECAUSE THE SCENE HAS FELT QUITE POPPY BUT IT S CLEAR THAT THAT WHOLE THING HAS COME TO A SHUD DERING HALT AND IT S TIME TO MOVE ON v 4IME FOR ANOTHER AMAZING REIN VENTION THEN h4HE RE DESIGN THAT WE WILL BE UNVEILING IN THE NEXT FEW WEEKS IT S GOING TO BE FEELING A LOT CLEANER AND A LOT MORE UNDER GROUND BECAUSE ) THINK THAT PEO PLE ARE GETTING MORE SERIOUS ABOUT THEIR MUSIC AGAIN )T S COMING OUT PROBABLY THE END OF -AY v #ONOR -C.ICHOLAS IS EXASPER ATED EXHAUSTED BUT CLEARLY STILL EX HILARATED AT THE PROSPECT OF HEAD LINING THE LONGEST RUNNING SHOW IN POP CULTURE !ND WITH .-% NOW CROSSING THE !TLANTIC AND VENTUR ING INTO RADIO AND TELEVISION THE FUTURE IS ONLY GETTING BRIGHTER FOR THE 5 + S MOST TALKED ABOUT MUSIC PUBLICATION

3INGLES OF THE 7EEK 7EEZER

0ORK AND "EANS

"LACK +IDS

-ADONNA *USTIN

) M .OT 'ONNA 4EACH 9OUR "OYFRIEND (OW 4O $ANCE 7ITH 9OU

-INUTES

4O PRAISE THIS SONG NOW WOULD BE TO CHASE AFTER A BLOG POWERED BANDWAGON THAT DROVE OFF MONTHS AGO "UT HEY LET S DO IT ANYWAY )T S HARD TO PINPOINT EXACTLY WHAT MAKES THIS SONG SO GREAT IS IT "ERNARD "UTLER S EXCELLENTLY ETHEREAL PRODUCTION WHICH MAKES THE BAND SOUND LIKE THEY RE SINGING FROM HALFWAY TO HEAVEN 2EGGIE 9OUNGBLOOD S IMPASSIONED AND ENTIRELY UN IRONIC VOCALS 4HE h/NE 4WO 4HREE &OUR v h$ANCE 4HIS SINGLE HASN T HAD A PHYSICAL RELEASE YET BUT THIS WRITER ADVISES YOU GET ONLINE NOW AND LISTEN TO THE FREE STREAM ON THE BAND S WEBSITE 9OU WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED !FTER THE STAGGERING WASTE OF SPACE THAT WAS 7EEZER S LAST ALBUM -AKE "ELIEVE

0ORK AND "EANS IS THE SOUND OF A BAND THAT IS OVER THE MOON TO BE MAKING RELEVANT MUSIC AGAIN 4HE lRST CUT TO BE TAKEN FROM THEIR FORTHCOMING SIXTH ALBUM THIS TRACK SEEMS TO START WAY BACK WHERE S CULT SMASH 0INKERTON LEFT OFF n THE %L 3CORCHO STYLE RIFF SHOULD BRING JOY TO 7EEZER PURISTS THE WORLD OVER "ETTER STILL THE CHORUS BOASTS THOSE SIGNATURE BUZZSAW GUITARS OF OLD 0ORK AND "EANS CHARTS 2IVERS #UOMO S RESPONSE TO A MEETING WITH THE HEAD HONCHOS AT 'EFFEN IN WHICH HE WAS TOLD TO WRITE MORE COMMERCIALLY (IS REPLY IS BOTH TONGUE IN CHEEK AND SELF ASSUREDLY LAME 4HIS SONG SOUNDS FAMILIAR BUT lNALLY IN SUCH A GOOD WAY 3UMMER IS NEARLY HERE n AND YOU D BE CRAZY NOT TO HAVE THIS TUNE

AND HOPEFULLY ITS ACCOMPANYING ALBUM AS YOUR SOUNDTRACK *OE (ENLEY

$ANCE $ANCE v CHANTING 4HE SPINDLY LOVABLY ANXIOUS GUITAR AND SYNTH RIFFS 4HE ELLIPTICAL LYRICS WHICH

ALTHOUGH SUPERlCIALLY ARE ABOUT THE STANDARD INDIE SUBJECT OF DISCO DANCING SEEM TO CHART UNPLUMBED DEPTHS OF MEANING 7HO KNOWS $ECONSTRUCTED THIS SONG DOESN T OFFER ANYTHING PARTICULARLY NOVEL YET IT HAS SOME MAGICAL QUALITY THAT MAKES IT DESERVE ALL THE HYPE )T ALSO HAS SEMI PROPER B SIDES ALTHOUGH THEY ARE BOTH COVERS n OF "EAT (APPENING S 9OU 4URN -E /N AND 3OPHIE " (AWKINS $AMN ) 7ISH ) 7AS 9OUR ,OVER .EITHER SONG IS AS GOOD AS THE ! SIDE BUT HOW OFTEN DOES A MOMENT LIKE THIS COME ALONG 3ARAH #HRISTIE

-ADONNA IS BACK WITH MORE MUSCLES AND UNFORTUNATELY LESS CLOTHES 9OU RE ALMOST FOR GOODNESS SAKE PUT SOME CLOTHES ON AND ACT LIKE A RESPECTABLE MOTHER (ER LATEST COMEBACK SINGLE THE @MIGHTY -INUTES IS PANTS )T FEATURES THAT @OH SO FABULOUS *USTIN 4IMBERLAKE 7HAT IS IT WITH *4 RECENTLY !LL HE SEEMS TO DO IS DREADFUL COLLABORATIONS NOWADAYS ,ONG GONE ARE THE DAYS OF HIM "RINGING 3EXY "ACK NOW HE S JUST BRINGING UTTER RUBBISH BACK !LSO ON THIS SINGLE ARE THE @TALENTS OF 4IMBALAND -ADONNA HAS ENLISTED HIS HELP TO DO HIS USUAL TWEAKING AND SCRATCHING AND RECITE ONE LINE OF RUBBISH IN AN ATTEMPT TO SOUND LIKE EVERY OTHER 2@N " TRACK OUT THERE AT THE MOMENT h7E ONLY GOT MINUTES TO SAVE THE WORLDv THEY SING IN A 4ROY "OLTON FROM (IGH 3CHOOL -USICAL STYLE CLASSY /H HOW IRONIC THAT IT IS ACTUALLY THIS SONG THAT THE WORLD

NEEDS SAVING FROM )F THIS IS THE LEAD SINGLE OF -ADONNA S NEW ALBUM THEN MAY 'OD HAVE MERCY ON US ALL .ICK 2EADING

&OCUS ON 3OAPBOX ST -AY IS A VERY SPE CIAL DAY FOR .ORWICH AS THE POET RAPPER SPOKEN WORD MASTER 3CROOBIUS 0IP HEADS OUR WAY FOR AN INTIMATE É CAPPELLA SET AT A 3OAP"OX %VENT &RESH FROM TOURING !MERICA WITH $AN ,E 3AC

3CROOBIUS 0IP IS HIMSELF FA MILIAR WITH THE AREA HAVING SPRUNG FROM NEARBY %SSEX ! PARTICULARLY SPECIAL PER FORMANCE IS SURE TO ENSUE AS HE TAKES THE STAGE SOLO EMPHASISING HIS LYRICAL CRAFTSMANSHIP 3OAP"OX IS DEDICATED TO PROMOTING LOCAL ARTISTS AND MUSI CIANS THROUGH EVENT ORGANISATION AND IS RUN BY 5%! STUDENTS !MY 7RAGG AND 3TEWART (ARRINGTON WITH ARTIST CONTRIBUTIONS FROM *AY (OWELL 5%! AND !LEXANDRA "UHAGIAR .3!$ (ELD MONTHLY AT 4HE 1UEEN #HARLOTTE 3OAP"OX HAS BEEN HOSTING ONLY THE BEST OF ARTISTS MUSICIANS COMEDIANS POETS AND CIRCUS PERFORMERS FROM ALL OVER %AST !NGLIA 5%! GYPSY PUNK ROCK COLLECTIVE "AMBI 'ET /VER )T SHARE THE STAGE WITH LOCAL ROCK DUO "+ AND $AD REPRESENTING THE ECLECTIC LIVE MUSIC BEING PRODUCED LOCALLY %XPECT EXPERT MANDOLIN MADNESS FROM THE FORMER AND DIRTY BASS LINES FROM THE LATTER (ELD IN AID OF LOCAL ARTS COLLECTIVE 5NIT THE EVENT PROM ISES TO CATER FOR DIVERSITY !IMING TO INTEGRATE ARTISTS AND AUDI ENCES FROM ALL ORIGINS IT KICKS OFF AT PM WITH AN AFTERNOON OF ACOUSTIC GOODNESS PROGRESSING TO THE COMEDY AND PERFORM ANCE SEGMENT WITH 2OBERT *ACKMAN 5%! AS COMPERE ,IVE BANDS COMMENCE AT PM AND THE EVENT CLIMAX S WITH $* S TO ROCK YOUR SOCKS OFF TO 4HE LINE UP FEATURES AMONG MANY +IT "ENNETT 5%! WITH HER CHARACTERISTIC VOICE AND PASSION AND LOCAL "LUEGRASS 3KIF mE TRIO "REAKFAST /F #HAMPIONS PLUS AN EXTENSIVE PLETHORA OF OTHER ARTISTS )T S a PER TICKET AVAILABLE FROM TH -AY AT 4HE 1UEEN #HARLOTTE $EREHAM 2OAD OR BOOK ONLINE 7ANT TO GET INVOLVED 7E WOULD LOVE TO DISPLAY YOUR ART ON THE WALLS AND ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR NEW COMEDIANS POETS STORY TELLERS PERFORMERS MUSICIANS #HECK US OUT WWW MYSPACE COM GETONTHESOAPBOX AND CONTACT US AT GETONTHESOAPBOX HOTMAIL CO UK

!LBUMS

4HE &UTUREHEADS

!LBU

M OF

4HIS )S .OT 4HE 7ORLD #IRCA ON THE BACK OF THEIR ACCLAIMED SELF TITLED DEBUT 4HE &UTUREHEADS WERE UNTOUCHABLE hUH OOH UH AH OHv FEVER SWEPT THE SUMMER FESTIVAL CIRCUIT THEIR RAPTUROUS LIVE SHOWS AND BPM GEMS CAPTURING THE HEARTS AND IMAGINATIONS OF THOUSANDS OF FANS AND MUSICIANS ALIKE 4HE @(EADS JAUNTY RHYTHMS WINDING VOCAL MELODIES AND BENDY LEGS ARE ALL ABUNDANT IN TODAY S SCENE 4HE 7OMBATS -AXIMO 0ARK AND 4HE 0IGEON $ETECTIVES HAVE ALL EXPANDED ON THEIR BLUEPRINT IN TURN CREATING SOMETHING MORE CHART FRIENDLY

AND ALTOGETHER POPULAR WITH THE MASSES 'OOD THINGS DO NOT LAST FOREVER AND THE RELATIVE FAILURE OF THEIR GROSSLY UNDERRATED

SECOND ALBUM .EWS AND 4RIBUTES RESULTED IN SAID BANDS OUSTING "ARRY *AFF 0ETER AND 2OSS FROM THEIR POST PUNK PEDESTAL 7AS THEIR FOLLOW UP TO BLAME ,IKE THEIR DEBUT THE .EWS AND 4RIBUTES WAS MET WITH ACCLAIM BUT IT FAILED TO SELL 4HE &UTUREHEADS WERE CONSEQUENTLY DROPPED FROM THEIR LABEL IN THEIR OWN WORDS

A hSINKING SHIPv AND LEFT TO DWELL IN NO MANS LAND 4HE PREMISE WAS SIMPLE 4HE &UTUREHEADS COULD EITHER SUFFOCATE AND COLLAPSE LIKE SO MANY TALENTED BUT NAÕVE INDIE BANDS DO SO EARLY ON IN THEIR CAREER 2OSS CLAIMS THE BAND NEARLY SPLIT AFTER THE SECOND ALBUM RELEASE OR DISREGARD THE mACK AND CRITIQUE AND PULL THEMSELVES BACK FROM THE BRINK 4HANK 'OD THE LATTER PREVAILED #IRCA AND 4HE &UTUREHEADS HAVE DRAGGED THEMSELVES FROM THE ABYSS WITH THE BARN STORMING 4HIS )S .OT 4HE 7ORLD &IRST SINGLE AND OPENER "EGINNING OF THE 4WIST IS A MAMMOTH RESURGENCE n PROOF TO ANYONE WHO DOUBTED THE BAND AFTER THEIR SECOND ALBUM THAT THE BELOVED 'EORDIES HAVE FAR FROM LOST THEIR MOJO !S "ARRY YELPS WITH A BREATHLESS VITALITY AKIN TO ANYTHING ON THEIR DEBUT *AFF 0ETER AND 2OSS WIND IN AND OUT WITH TRADEMARK JAGGED RHYTHMS AND PITHY PUNCHY MELODIES 7ALKING "ACKWARDS AND 4HINK 4ONIGHT ARE FURTHER

PROOF THAT 4HE &UTUREHEADS HAVE FOUND THEIR CONSISTENCY AGAIN 4HE FORMER SONG

ONE OF THE ALBUM HIGHLIGHTS IS PERHAPS CLOSURE ON THEIR RECENT STRUGGLE h7ALKING BACKWARDS WITH NOTHING TO SAYv BELLOWS "ARRY A RESOLUTE MIDDLE lNGER TO EVERYONE WHO D QUESTIONED WHETHER THE @(EADS WERE FRESH OUT OF IDEAS )F THE lRST THREE DON T WOO YOU BACK INTO THEIR ARMS THEN 2ADIO (EART WILL CHARM YOUR SOCKS OFF !S FRESH AND REPLAYABLE AS ANYTHING THE BAND HAVE EVER PRODUCED IT S UNDOUBTEDLY ONE OF THE lNEST POP MOMENTS OF THUS FAR ,UCKILY IT DOESN T END THERE 4HIS )S .OT

THE 7 EEK

4HE 7ORLD (ARD TO "EAR AND "ROKE 5P THE 4IME ARE EVIDENCE IF YOU STILL NEED IT THAT 4HE &UTUREHEADS ARE STILL MILES AHEAD OF THEIR PEERS IN TERMS OF BOTH MUSICIANSHIP AND SONGCRAFT )T S HARD TO SAY WHAT IT IS EXACTLY THAT HAS YOU GRINNNING FROM CHEEK TO CHEEK FROM START TO lNISH THE EXCELLENT SONGS OR THE FACT THAT ONE OF THE lNEST BANDS IN THE 5 + ARE lNALLY FULlLLING THEIR PROMISE 7HATEVER IT S A PLEASURE TO HAVE THEM BACK AT THEIR VERY BEST 'REG 3ULLIVAN

7E !RE 3CIENTISTS

-YSTERY *ETS

4HE ,ONG "LONDES

"RAIN 4HRUST -ASTERY

4WENTY /NE

#OUPLES

)F VARIOUS VIDEOS OF THE 7E !RE 3CIENTISTS PAIR MESSING AROUND AND GENERALLY BEING FUNNY ARE ANYTHING TO GO BY

THEIR NEW FOUND MATURITY IS PRESENT ONLY IN THEIR MUSIC 4HIS THEIR SECOND PROPER EF FORT SINCE S 7ITH ,OVE AND 3QUALOR IS MORE EXPAN SIVE AND ALTOGETHER MORE GROWN UP THAN ITS PREDECESSOR 4HAT S NOT TO SAY IT ISN T A LOT OF FUN TOO 3HED OFF ONE MEMBER SINCE WE SAW THEM LAST WITH DRUMMER -ICHAEL 4APPER LEAVING A SHORT WHILE AGO 7E !RE 3CIENTISTS HAVE EXPANDED THEIR REPERTOIRE WHILST NOT ABAN DONING THE CHARM THAT MADE THEIR DEBUT BRIMMING WITH UPBEAT INDIE POP ANTHEMS ONE OF THE STANDOUT ALBUMS OF THE YEAR 4HIS ALBUM SOUNDS BIGGER AND ALTOGETHER MORE EVOLVED HOWEVER WITH SOMBRE OPENER 'HOULS A FANTASTIC INTRODUCTION TO THE ALBUM AND TRACKS SUCH AS #HICK ,IT AND ,ETS 3EE )T BOASTING AN S SYNTH POP SWAGGER 7HILST NOT QUITE AS IMMEDIATE AS THE lRST "RAIN 4HRUST -ASTERY REWARDS REPEATED LISTENS AND IS A SOLID AND AT TIMES SPEC TACULAR SECOND ALBUM 7HERE 7E !RE 3CIENTISTS REALLY STANDS OUT FROM THE CLASS OF IS WITH FRONT MAN -URRAY (IS LYRICS AND DELIVERY TAKE THE DUO ABOVE AND WAY BEYOND IDENTIKIT IN DIE BANDS AND THIS IS MOST NOTABLE ON SINGLE !FTER (OURS 3CIENCE NEVER SOUNDED THIS GOOD

-YSTERY *ETS FOLLOW UP THEIR DE BUT WITH AN ALTOGETHER MORE FO CUSED EFFORT 0RODUCED BY %ROL !LKAN THIS IS AN ALBUM WHICH FO CUSES ON PURE POP WITH ENOUGH DIVERSITY TO TAKE IT ABOVE AND AWAY FROM THE CROWD 5TILISING ELECTRO ESQUE TWEAKS PARTICULAR LY lRST TRACK (IDEAWAY WHICH SOUNDS LIKE 0UBLIC %NEMY COLLIDING WITH WELL -YSTERY *ETS THE ALBUM KICKS OFF IN EMPHATIC FASHION &OR ALL THE WONDERFUL ECCENTRICITY OF THE lRST ALBUM IT HAD A TENDENCY TO GO OFF ON A TANGENT

WHICH IN TURN LED TO ANOTHER lVE TANGENTS 4HIS ALBUM RETAINS THE ECCENTRICITY BUT TO THEIR BEN ElT 4HERE S NOT A WEAK MOMENT ON THIS ALBUM AND THE HIGHS ARE SOME OF THE BEST YOU WILL HEAR ALL YEAR &LAKES

AND 9OUNG ,OVE DEMONSTRATE WHAT COMPETENT AND IN TERESTING SONGWRITERS -YSTERY *ETS HAVE MATURED INTO (IGHLIGHT OF THE ALBUM THOUGH IS THE BRILLIANTLY POPPY 4WO $OORS $OWN 4HE CHORUS SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING 0HIL #OLLINS WOULD HAVE DONE IN THE S AND THAT IS MEANT IN THE BEST POSSIBLE WAY 4HEY VE DELIVERED ON THE POTENTIAL DISPLAYED IN THEIR ACTUALLY VERY lNE DEBUT AND WHILST ITS NOT THE MOST IMMEDIATE ALBUM EVER THE PROG ELEMENTS AND INmUENCES ARE STILL THERE IT IS AS INFECTIOUS AS A SKIN DISEASE OR SOME OTHER MORE ACCURATE METAPHOR AND IT IS A VERY VERY GOOD INDIE POP ALBUM /NE OF IF NOT THE BEST POP ALBUMS YOU WILL HEAR ALL YEAR

*ACK 0ITT

*ACK 0ITT

-OST FEMALE FRONTED BANDS ARE DOOMED TO COMPARISONS TO "LOND IE BUT CALL YOUR BAND 4HE ,ONG "LONDES AND YOU RE ASKING FOR IT 7ITH #OUPLES THE COMPARISON IS JUS TIlED $EBBIE (ARRY S INmUENCE IS MOST EVIDENT ON lRST SINGLE #ENTURY IT S 4HE ,ONG "LONDES !TOMIC COMPLETE WITH POST APOCALYPTIC LYRICS AND DISCO LACED INSTRUMENTATION 4HE CHANGE OF SOUND IS INSTANTLY AUDIBLE 4HIS MAY BE DUE TO PRODUCER DU JOUR %ROL !LKAN

WHO S RECENTLY WORKED WITH THE LIKES OF ,ATE OF THE 0IER AND -YSTERY *ETS "UT WHILE !LKAN REIGNED IN -YSTERY *ETS EXPERIMENTATION TO CREATE A SECOND ALBUM OF PURE POP

HE S DONE THE OPPOSITE HERE #ENTURY IS EVIDENCE BUT EVEN MORE ALIEN ARE +RAUTROCK OF 2OUND THE (AIRPIN AND THE AL MOST SOPRANO SUNG 4OO #LEVER "Y (ALF "OTH TRACKS HAVE AN UNDOUBTEDLY ALLURING QUALITY BUT THEY ALSO HAVE mAWS AND SUCH IS THE CASE ACROSS #OUPLES 4HE BAND HAVE IMPROVED MUSICALLY ESPECIALLY +ATE *ACKSON S VOCALS BUT THEY ALSO HAVE A TENDENCY TO STRETCH SONGS OUT BEYOND THEIR NATURAL RUNTIME OR TO COME UP WITH A GREAT HOOK THEN BLOW IT WITH POOR STRUCTURING /NE CAN T HELP BUT THINK THIS IS PARTLY !L KAN S FAULT AND THE DISRUPTIVE SOUND BITES AND SCREAMS OF FEEDBACK ADDED IN POST PRODUCTION CERTAINLY ARE "UT THERE ARE FANTASTIC SONGS AND SOME OF THE ALBUM S mAWS BECOME LOVABLE AFTER A FEW LISTENS 2ATHER THAN MINDLESSLY RECYCLING MUSIC 4HE ,ONG "LONDES HAVE CREATED THEMSELVES A USABLE HISTORY 4HE LYRICS ARE ELECTRIC THEIR MUSIC IS COMPLEX AND INVENTIVE AND IN *ACKSON THEY HAVE A FRONT WOMAN TO ONE DAY RIVAL $EBBIE (ARRY 3ARAH #HRISTIE

,IVE 2EVIEWS

4HE (IVES -ONDAY TH !PRIL 5%!

4HE (IVES ARE A BIT OF AN ENIGMA WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT )T SEEMS THEY VE MADE THE SAME RECORD OVER AND OVER AGAIN FOR NIGH ON YEARS NOW YET THEY STILL SEEM TO INSPIRE NOTHING SHORT OF EUPHORIA IN THE REAMS AND REAMS OF KIDS WHO WANT NOTHING MORE THAN TO BE A PART OF THEIR LIVE EXPERIENCE (AV ING ONLY CAUGHT THEM IN THE FESTIVAL SETTING UP UNTIL NOW BUT BEING POSITIVELY BLOWN AWAY THIS REVIEWER IS KEEN TO lND OUT EX ACTLY WHAT ALL THE FUSS IS ABOUT 3O IT S TO THE CAVERNOUS ,#2 WE TREK SURROUNDED BY KIDS SO YOUNG THEY SEEM TO BE CONVERSING IN A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE 4HE (IVES HAD THEIR WORK CUT OUT BUT BY 'OD THEY DID IT 4HEY DID IT )T ALL KICKS OFF VERY QUICKLY 4HE AUDI ENCE TAKE THEIR PLACE FOR THE MAIN EVENT AFTER A FUN BUT SEEMINGLY MISUNDERSTOOD

SUPPORT SLOT BY THE ENIGMATICALLY NAMED (ENRY &IAT S /PEN 3ORE 4HEY MIX ALL THE GOOD BITS FROM THE LAST YEARS OF PUNK AND HARDCORE 4HEY WEAR MASKS "UT NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE /NE CAN T DISCUSS THE (IVES WITHOUT MENTIONING THEIR SWITCH BLADE SHARP DRESS SENSE BUT LET US NOT DWELL TOO MUCH ON THE FACT THEY LOOK GREAT 2EALLY GREAT 4HINGS POSITIVELY SMASH INTO ACTION WITH -AIN /F

FENDER AND IT BECOMES CLEAR RIGHT AWAY THAT THE (IVES MUSICALLY AT LEAST ARE ONE OF THE BEST BANDS TO ASCEND ON THE ,#2 THIS YEAR )T S INDISPUTABLE 4HE VISCERAL INTENSITY WITH WHICH THEY TRANSFER THEIR SONGS INTO THE LIVE SETTING SEES THEM SUCCEED WHERE SO MANY OTHERS FAIL MISERABLY 3ONG AFTER SONG IS ACCOMPANIED BY AN INTENSITY SO HIGH IT BECOMES DIFlCULT TO DRAW BREATH EVEN BETWEEN TRACKS AS WE RE REMINDED BY NUT JOB VOCALIST (OWLIN 0ELLE !LMQVIST THAT US AUDIENCE MEMBERS SHOULD ONLY BE QUIET WHILE THE BAND IS PLAYING "UT THAT INTENSITY IS NEVER GOING TO LAST IS IT )T ALMOST DOES IT REALLY ALMOST DOES "UT THE (IVES FALL DOWN BECAUSE ASIDE FROM ATTEMPTING TO DESTROY THE ,#2 THEY RE HERE FOR ONE OTHER IMPORTANT REASON n THEY VE GOT A NEW ALBUM TO PROMOTE AND THEY DO SO UNASHAMEDLY 3O MUCH OF TONIGHT S SET DRAWS FROM THEIR RECENT EFFORT AND THERE IS NO GETTING AROUND THE FACT THAT IT S SIMPLY NOT UP TO SCRATCH 3OME TRACKS ARE GREAT THE BRASH 4ICK 4ICK "OOM AND THE DISJOINTED 4RY IT !GAIN WHICH BOTH SEE THE BAND SOUNDING MORE LIKE THE 2OLLING 3TONES THAN EVER BUT SOME ARE JUST AWFUL 4 ( % ( ) 6 % 3 AND 9OU $RESS 5P FOR !RMAGEDDON ARE SLUGGISH AND ANACHRONISTIC

"Y THE TIME A VERY LONG ENCORE FADES INTO SILENCE THINGS ARE WELL BACK ON TRACK 4ONIGHT THE (IVES DEALT IN ENDEARING WIT AND UNSTOPPABLE INTENSITY 5NLIKE SO MANY OF THEIR CONTEMPORARIES FROM THE GARAGE ROCK REVIVAL OF YORE THEY REMAIN PERPETU

ALLY @COOL AND AN UNEQUIVOCALLY TIGHT LIVE BAND ,ET S JUST HOPE THEIR NEXT RECORD ISN T SO TRAGICALLY DISAPPOINTING n THE WORLD WOULD BE A DARKER PLACE WITHOUT THE (IVES FOR COMPANY *OE (ENLEY

4HE #OURTEENERS

,ETHAL "IZZLE

3UNDAY TH !PRIL 5%!

4UESDAY TH !PRIL .ORWICH !RTS #ENTRE

4HE #OURTEENERS HAILED THE NEW -ANCHESTER -ESSIAHS BY .-% PLAYED THE lNAL DATE OF THEIR 5+ TOUR AT .ORWICH 7ATERFRONT ON TH !PRIL &OLLOWING A WEAK WAILING SET FROM (APPY -ONDAY S WANNABES ) !M "UFFALO

THE CURRENT .ORTHERN )NDIE FAVOURITES TOOK TO THE STAGE WITH BOUNDLESS ENERGY WHICH LEFT GRIZZLY FRONT MAN ,IAM &RAY DRIPPING WITH SWEAT AFTER THEIR lRST SONG 7EARING A T SHIRT PROUDLY EMBLAZONED WITH LYRICS @#AN YOU PLAY THE 'UITAR #AN YOU F CK TEAMED WITH A JINGLING COLLECTION OF GOLD CHAV CHAINS

&RAY LOOKS OLDER THAN YOU D IMAGINE AND IS SNEERINGLY ARROGANT GIVEN HIS RECENT ASCENT TO CELEBRITY (IS UNTAMEABLE EGO COUPLED WITH HIS FONDNESS FOR BADMOUTHING OTHER BANDS HAS ALREADY ATTRACTED COMPARISONS TO ,IAM 'ALLAGHER .ONETHELESS HE IS A MULTI TASKING TALENTED INDIVIDUAL HE PENNED THE ENTIRE ALBUM 3T *UDE AND STILL HAD TIME TO PAINT THE 0OP !RT STYLE ILLUSTRATION FOR THE COVER 3HOWCASING THEIR DIVERSITY THE BAND MOVED EFFORTLESSLY FROM HIGH ENERGY

AGGRESSIVE NUMBERS #AVORTING AND +INGS OF THE .EW 2OAD INTO SLOWER MELLOW TRACKS 3MITHS

$ISCO AND "IDE YOUR 4IME $ESPITE THEIR JAUNTY

,IBERTINESQUE SOUND THERE IS A PREVALENCE OF DISSATISFACTION AND NEGATIVITY IN THEIR LYRICS THEY DEAL WITH THEMES OF DRUG ABUSE AND DYSFUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIPS AND ARE DECIDEDLY BLOKEY IN NATURE #ONVERSELY SONGS WERE INTERSPERSED WITH WITTY .ORTHERN BANTER AND NUMEROUS EXPRESSIONS OF GRATITUDE &OLLOWING A STONKING SING ALONG OF 0LEASE $ON T &RAY PLAYED A DELICATELY DELIVERED ACOUSTIC VERSION OF 9ESTERDAY 4ODAY AND 0ROBABLY 4OMORROW WHICH DEMONSTRATED HIS FANTASTIC VOCAL RANGE .OT .INETEEN &OREVER THE BAND S MOST RECENT RELEASE WAS THE PENULTIMATE TRACK AND WAS PERFORMED WITH A SUITABLE DOLLOP OF ENERGY AND ENTHUSIASM 4HIS WAS FOLLOWED BY THEIR lNAL SONG 7HAT 4OOK 9OU 3O ,ONG WHICH MASQUERADES AS A HEARTFELT ANTHEM BUT LOSES ALL CREDIBILITY WHEN YOU REALISE THE SLURRED LYRICS ARE ACTUALLY @7HAT TOOK YOU SO LONG 7AS THERE A QUEUE AT THE 0OST /FlCE !LL IN ALL THE GIG WAS GOOD BUT NOT AMAZING 4HE #OURTEENERS ARE ANOTHER BAND IN A LONG LINE WHO HAVE BECOME VICTIMS OF .-% FUELLED PREMATURE MEDIA HYPE 4HIS IS EXACERBATED BY &RAY S EGOTISM AND HIS DECLARATION THAT "ONO APPARENTLY TOLD THEM THEY WERE @THE BEST BAND HE D HEARD IN TEN YEARS 4HEREFORE UNTIL THESE BOYS COME UP WITH SOMETHING WORTHY OF SUCH A RIDICULOUS COMPLIMENT ) THINK &RAY HAD BETTER LEARN TO PIPE DOWN !LICE 3AGGERS

7HEN THIS REVIEWER lRST HEARD ABOUT THIS GIG IT WAS HARD TO IMAGINE A COUPLE OF HUNDRED PEO PLE SHOUTING hBRING SOME BEEF AND LOSE SOME TEEF v IN A FORMER CHURCH "UT ,ETHAL " AND HIS MATES DID A GOOD JOB OF MAKING THE HOLY VENUE INTO A HOUSE OF HIP HOP FOR THE EVENING 4HE CROWD CONSISTED OF STUDENTS AND RAP HUNGRY SCHOOL KIDS SO THE REACTION TO lRST ACT 4HE "LAH "LAH "LAHS WAS RATHER MIXED 4HE FRONT MAN WAS AN ASIAN *ACK 0ENATE ALTHOUGH IT WAS HARD TO PAY ATTENTION TO ANYTHING OTHER THAN HIS CRAZY HAIRCUT THAT CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS A CHEESE STRING ! DECENT ACT BUT A LITTLE UN SUITABLE #* THE $* WARMED UP THE CROWD WITH A FEW CLASSIC ANTHEMS NOTABLY $RE S 4HE .EXT %PISODE $IZZEE S ) ,UV 5 4HIS SET THE MOOD FOR SOME SOLID RAPPING FROM "ASHY CULMINATING IN THE THEME TUNE TO UPCOMING lLM !DULTHOOD

WHICH WENT DOWN A TREAT 4HE "IZZLE AND HIS -# TOYED WITH THE CROWD FROM START TO lNISH AT LEAST HALF OF THEIR ACT RELIES ON AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION STARTING CHANTS ASK

ING QUESTIONS AND THE ENTHUSIASM FROM A YOUNG CROWD MADE THE GIG A BETTER EXPERIENCE THAN WHEN THE ,ONDONER WAS PROPPING UP .-% S 2IOT 4OUR BACK IN /CTOBER (E OPENED WITH 5H /H WHICH SET A PRECEDENT FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT ,ETHAL LOVES HIS OLD MATERIAL AS MUCH AS HIS FANS DO AND WAS REFRESHINGLY UNAFRAID TO GIVE A GREAT DEAL OF FOCUS TO HIS lRST ALBUM !GAINST !LL /DDZ 4HE MAJOR HARK BACK TO THE OLD SCHOOL WAS -ORE &IRE #REW S /I AND /ZZY " EVEN EMERGED ON STAGE TO DO HIS VERSE OF THE SONG 4HE FEW TRACKS FROM THE NEW ALBUM WERE ALSO WELL RECEIVED ESPECIALLY 0OLICE /N -Y "ACK FOR WHICH EVERYONE STARTING JOGGING ON THE SPOT "UT THE HIGHLIGHT WAS ALWAYS GOING TO BE 0OW %VERYONE IN SIGHT WAS JUMPING AROUND SINGING EVERY SINGLE WORD ,ETHAL "IZZLE GIVES HIS ALL FOR THESE LIVE PERFORMANCES AND WITH THE HELP OF AN ENTHUSIASTIC AUDIENCE CAN SHOW YOU A REALLY GOOD TIME 2OB -ORBIN

-AIN &EATURE

!S A RULE OF THUMB ANY l LM WHICH HAS "LACK 3ABBATH IN THE TRAILER AND STARTS OFF WITH !#$# S "ACK IN "LACK IS BOUND TO BE GOOD AND THANKFULLY )RON -AN DOESN T DISAPPOINT 4HE l LM CENTRES ON 4ONY 3TARK 2OBERT $OWNEY *R A BILLIONAIRE PLAYBOY WEAPONS MANUFACTURER AND GENIUS INVENTOR !S 3TARK VIS ITS !FGHANISTAN FOR A BUSINESS TRIP

SHOWCASING HIS NEW MISSILE TO THE 53 GOVERNMENT HE GETS KIDNAPPED USING THE VERY TECHNOLOGY HE DE

SIGNED /RDERED TO BUILD A MIS SILE FOR HIS TERRORIST CAPTORS 3TARK

WITH THE AID OF HIS FELLOW PRISONER 9INSEN 3HAUN 4OUB USES HIS RE SOURCES INSTEAD TO BUILD A POWERED EXOSKELETON TO MAKE HIS ESCAPE 7HEN HE RETURNS TO !MERICA 3TARK IMPROVES HIS ARMOR AND )RON -AN IS BORN CREATED TO PROTECT THE PEO PLE HE PUT IN HARMS WAY $OWNEY *R IS FANTASTIC .EVER WAS THERE ONE MAN SO MISMATCHED TO THE ROLE OF A SUPERHERO YET SO

UNEXPECTEDLY GOOD IN IT 3TARK S AR ROGANCE AND UTTER SELF ABSORPTION MAKE YOU LOATHE HIM AT l RST BUT AS HE STEADILY TRANSFORMS INTO A MAN WHO REALISES THE ERRORS OF HIS PAST

HIS CHARM WINS YOU OVER $OWNEY *R S DIALOGUE ROLLS OFF HIS TONGUE WITH A BEAUTIFUL AUTHENTICITY AND EASE MAKING THE LINES FEEL SPONTA NEOUS AND TAKING AWAY THE CHEESI NESS WHICH THE PREVIOUS -ARVEL l LMS HAVE IN ABUNDANCE #OMIC WIT IS DEl NITELY $OWNEY *R S FORTE

$IR *ON &AVREAU 2ELEASED

AND HE BRINGS A BREATH OF FRESH AIR TO A GENRE WHICH CAN BECOME CON SUMED WITH STIFF ONE LINERS /RIGIN STORIES LIKE THIS OFTEN DRAG BUT UNDER THE DIRECTION OF *ON &AVREAU EVERY SCENE IS CHOSEN CAREFULLY TO COMPLIMENT THE NEXT

BALANCING THE ACTION AND EXPLOSIVE l GHT SCENES WITH THE MOST IMPOR TANT PART n THE HEART NOT ONLY OF THE COMIC BOOKS BUT OF 4ONY 3TARK AS A MAN 4HE SUPPORTING CAST ARE INTER

ESTING EACH IMPARTING THE STAMP OF hTHE GOOD ACTORv INTO THEIR ROLES 'IVEN HER SMALL PART 'WYN ETH 0ALTROW HAS A STRONG PRESENCE ON SCREEN AS LOYAL ASSISTANT 0EPPER 0OTTS HOWEVER 4ERRENCE (OWARD IS LARGELY MISUSED (IS CHARACTER *AMES 2HODES IS DISAPPOINTINGLY ONE DIMENSIONAL SERVING AS NOTH ING MORE THAN SUPPLEMENTARY

ADDING A BIT OF GROUNDING TO 3TARK AND LINING UP PLOT LINES FOR THE FU TURE l LMS /BADIAH 3TANE *EFF "RIDGES

WHO BECOMES THE VILLAIN )RON -ON GER PROVES SOMEWHAT FORMIDABLE AS AN ENEMY GIVEN HIS PERSONAL CONNECTIONS (E S A GOOD STARTER ENEMY GIVEN THAT 3TARK S ARCH NEMESIS THE -ANDARIN IS PLANNED TO POP UP LATER IN THE FRANCHISE AND WORKS WELL AVOIDING THE DIS APPOINTMENT THAT 3AM 2AMI S 3PI DERMAN INCURRED UPON THE DEATH OF THE 'REEN 'OBLIN )F YOU RE ANTICIPATING NON STOP EXPLOSIONS n YOU WON T GET IT BUT THERE ARE PLENTY TO KEEP THE PYRO IN YOU SATISl ED 4HANKFULLY THIS l LM HAS MORE SUBSTANCE THAN STYLE AND WITHOUT A SHADOW OF A DOUBT )RON -AN IS ONE OF THE SLICKEST AND UNU SUALLY ELEGANT MOVIES OF ITS GENRE 4HOUGH THERE ARE A FEW PLOT HOLES

OVERALL THE l LM SUCCEEDS IN PROVID ING A WELL ACTED FUN SUMMER ROMP )T EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS .ATASHA +UNDAIKER

)RON -AN &ACTS

)NSIDE !CCESS *ON &AVREAU

2EAL NAME !NTHONY %DWARD @4ONY 3TARK #REATED "Y 3TAN ,EE AND ,ARRY ,IEBER AND BY STORY ARTISTS $ON (ECK AND *ACK +IRBY $EBUT -ARCH IN 4!,%3 /& 3530%.3% !BILITIES 3TARK S ARMOUR GRANTS HIM SUPER STRENGTH

m IGHT AND ENERGY BLASTS (E ALSO DEVELOPS A CYBERPATHIC LINK OR hPHERA SENSEv 4HIS WAS GAINED BY ANALYSING 3PI DER -AN S NEUROPHYSIOLOGY AND THUS HE CREATED HIS OWN SPIDER SENSE FOR HIS ARMOUR

(OW CONSCIOUS ARE YOU OF THE CONTEXT IN WHICH YOU VE PLACED A COMIC BOOK STORY WITHIN THE REAL WORLD

!RCHENEMY -ANDARIN (E HAS NO SUPERHUMAN POWERS LIKE 3TARK BUT USES HIS SCIENCTIl C GENIUS TO CREATE WEAPONS 4HE PRIN CIPAL PERSONAL WEAPONS OF THE -ANDARIN ARE THE TEN RINGS WHICH HE WEARS ON HIS l NGERS %ACH RING HAS A DIFFERENT WEAPON FUNCTION FROM EM MITING AN ICE BLAST TO A BEAM THAT DISINTERGRATES THE BONDS BETWEEN ATOMS AND MOLECULES

-ANDARIN

*ON #OMIC BOOKS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A REm ECTION OF A CERTAIN ASPECT OF THE COLLECTIVE SUB CONSCIOUS ) GREW UP

OF COURSE DURING THE #OLD 7AR AND CHARACTERS WOULD POP UP LIKE #RIMSON $YNAMO REPRESENTING THE 3OVIET 5NION AND #APTAIN !MERICA WOULD l GHT AGAINST PEOPLE THAT REPRESENTED RED #HINA )T WAS AL WAYS DONE IN A WAY THAT REMOVED IT ONE GENERATION SO THAT YOU NEVER FELT LIKE YOU WERE HAVING YOUR NOSE RUBBED IN THE PROBLEMS OF THE DAY "UT THEY ALLOWED YOU TO HAVE YOUR COLLECTIVE ANXIETY EXPRESSED !ND THEN HERE COMES THIS SUPERHERO WHO OFFERS SIMPLE SOLUTIONS TO COMPLEX PROBLEMS AND ) THINK IT S NO COINCIDENCE THAT SINCE 3EPTEMBER TH PEOPLE HAVE GRAVITATED TOWARD THESE SIMPLE GOOD AGAINST EVIL STO RIES &IVE OR SIX YEARS LATER TRYING TO CAPTURE SOME OF THE IMAGERY AND THE ANXIETY THAT ) KNOW THAT WE FEEL AS !MERICANS AND THEN TO HAVE THE FANTASY THAT THIS GUY COULD COME IN AND GET RID OF THE BAD GUYS TAKE CARE OF THE GOOD GUYS AND SOLVE ALL OF OUR PROBLEMS IS PART OF THE ESCAPISM THAT ) THINK PEOPLE ARE LOOKING FOR AS THEY GO TO THE MOVIES TO TAKE THEIR MINDS OFF THEIR PROBLEMS FOR TWO HOURS

/THER 3CREENS

&ILM .EWS %L (OBBITO &OR THOSE OF YOU WITH YOUR lNGER ON THE PULSE YOU LL ALREADY KNOW THAT 'UILLERMO $EL 4ORO IS DIRECT ING 4HE (OBBIT THE EAGERLY ANTICI PATED PREQUEL TO ,ORD OF 4HE 2INGS 7ITH 'ANDALF AND 'OLLUM PLAYING AN IMPORTANT PART WE RE HOPING TO SEE A FEW OF THE ,/42 CAST RETURN h) HAD THE MOST CHARMING MEETING WITH 3IR )AN v SAID $EL 4ORO hAND ALL BUREAUCRACY PENDING HE S ON BOARD AS IS !NDY 3ERKIS v

-ADE OF (ONOUR $IR 0AUL 7EILAND 2ELEASED 3ET IN .EW 9ORK 4OM 0ATRICK $EMPSEY HAS BEEN BEST FRIENDS WITH (ANNAH -ICHELLE -ONA GHAN SINCE HE ACCIDENTALLY CLIMBED INTO BED WITH HER WHILST AT UNIVER SITY 4EN YEARS ON 4OM KNOWS HE CAN RELY ON (ANNAH FOR ANYTHING

WHETHER IT IS ATTENDING HIS FATHER S SIXTH WEDDING TO ORDERING HIM THE PERFECT LEMON CHEESECAKE "UT WHEN (ANNAH TRAVELS TO 3COTLAND ON A BUSINESS TRIP FOR SIX WEEKS 4OM REALISES THAT HIS FEELINGS FOR HER ARE MUCH STRONGER THAN PURE FRIENDSHIP (OWEVER (ANNAH SOON RETURNS WITH A 3COTTISH $UKE ON HER ARM AND A REQUEST TO 4OM TO BE HER

MAID OF HONOUR 4HE CASTING OF 0ATRICK $EMPSEY FOLLOWS HIS PHENOMENAL SUCCESS AS -C$REAMY IN 'REY S !NATOMY 9ET

THE CHARACTER OF 4OM COMES ACROSS AS LACKING ANY REAL DEPTH OF FEELING (IS CHEMISTRY WITH -ONAGHAN IS CONVINCING YET IT IS MISSING THAT ES SENTIAL PASSIONATE SPARK 4HE lLM HAS SOME TRULY FUNNY MOMENTS BUT THE FACT THAT ITS MAIN FORMULA HAS BEEN DONE SO MANY TIMES BEFORE LEAVES YOU FEELING A LITTLE DISSATISlED "UT IF YOU ARE AFTER AN HOUR AND A HALF OF GIRLIE FUN AND THE SIGHT OF $EMPSEY IN A VERY SHORT KILT THEN THIS IS THE lLM FOR YOU +AYLEIGH -OORE

0ERSEPOLIS $IR 6INCENT 0ARONNAUD -ARJANE 3ATRAPI 2ELEASED 0ERSEPOLIS IS AN ANIMATED MOVIE BASED ON THE AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL GRAPHIC NOVELS OF -ARJANE 3ATRAPI CONCERNING HER COMING OF AGE IN REVOLUTIONARY )RAN )T MIGHT NOT SEEM TYPICAL lLM FARE BUT 3ATRAPI BRILLIANTLY HUMAN ISES )RAN S POLITICAL STRUGGLES 0ERSEPO LIS HAS A PLEASANTLY SURPRISING LEVITY

WHICH IS CREATED BY THIS hISSUESv BASED lLM BEING CONDUCTED ON A DEEPLY PERSONAL PLATFORM 4HERE ARE INCREDIBLY WELL OBSERVED MOMENTS OF HUMAN INTERACTION ESPECIALLY AROUND THE YOUNGSTER 3ATRAPI (OW EVER 0ERSEPOLIS SOMETIMES BECOMES

$IR .ICHOLAS 3TOLLER 2ELEASED

&ORGETTING 3ARAH -ARSHALL

&ORGETTING 3ARAH -ARSHALL IS A SELF PROCLAIMED hROMANTIC DISASTER COMEDYv $ISASTER BECAUSE MUSI CIAN 0ETER "RETTER *ASON 3EGAL lNDS HIS LIFE IN RUINS AFTER HIS AC TRESS GIRLFRIEND +RISTEN "ELL LEAVES HIM FOR ANOTHER MAN 5NABLE TO FOCUS ON HIS WORK FOR #RIME 3CENE 3CENE OF THE #RIME 3EGAL HEADS TO (AWAII UNAWARE HIS EX IS HOLIDAY ING THERE WITH "RITISH ROCKER !LDOUS 3NOW 2USSELL "RAND "RAND PLAYS A SEEMINGLY EXAG GERATED VERSION OF HIS PUBLIC PERSO NA NONCHALANT WOMANISING AND BIZARRELY ENDEARING (IS HUMOUR

OVERLY PERSONAL n AS IN THE SAINT LIKE PRESENTATION OF 3ATRAPI S ENTIRE FAMI LY n AND LOSES SIGHT OF THE BIGGER PIC TURE &URTHERMORE THE lLM IS HIGHLY EPISODIC 4HERE S NO REAL NARRATIVE PULL LEADING TO AN UNDER EXPLAINED AND UNSATISFYING ENDING 0ERSEPOLIS IS WORTH SEEING ITS AN IMATION IS BEAUTIFUL IT DEALS WITH VI TAL CONTEMPORARY ISSUES AND IT S AN ISOLATED EXAMPLE OF A FAIRLY MAIN STREAM lLM THAT IS CLEARLY AUTHORED

BY A WOMAN 9ET IT IS ALSO mAWED

TOO SKEWED TOWARDS AUTOBIOGRAPHY AND UNABLE TO ASSEMBLE THE SCAT TERED EVENTS OF AN INDIVIDUAL S LIFE INTO A COHESIVE NARRATIVE 3ARAH #HRISTIE

LIKE THE SCRIPT S OFTEN RELIES ON SEX UAL INNUENDO REFERRED TO AS h%D WARD 3CISSOR (ANDS OVER THEREv HIS *ACK 3PARROW ESQUE PERFORMANCE ADDS AN INTERESTING DIMENSION TO THE lLM AS DOES ITS ATTEMPT TO SUB VERT EXPECTATIONS 3EGAL WEEPS INTO HIS CEREAL AND "ELL S CHARACTER IS AN INHERENTLY SELlSH ONE (OWEVER 2ACHEL *ANSEN -ILA +UNIS AS THE PRETTY HOTEL EMPLOY EE WHO BEFRIENDS 3EGAL DETRACTS FROM THIS EXISTING AS A REMINDER THAT &ORGETTING 3ARAH -ARSHALL IS A ROM COM AND AS SUCH INESCAPABLY PREDICTABLE 6IMBAI -UKWENHA

-EL 'IBSON S "ACK )T S BEEN SOME SIX YEARS SINCE -EL 'IBSON TOOK A STARRING ROLE IN A MOVIE AND AFTER HIS TWO DIRECTING VENTURES 4HE 0ASSION OF THE #HRIST AND !POCALYPTO HE IS MAKING A RE TURN TO THE CINEMA SCREEN 'IBSON HAS SIGNED TO TAKE THE LEAD IN %DGE OF $ARKNESS A MOVIE VERSION OF THE ""# MINISERIES ABOUT A PO LICEMAN WHOSE DAUGHTER IS MUR DERED IN FRONT OF HIM

'YLLENHAAL JOINS -ENDES COMEDY -AGGIE 'YLLENHAAL IS REPLACING 4ONI #OLLETTE IN 3AM -ENDES UP COMING UNTITLED COMEDY ABOUT A COUPLE *OHN +RASINSKI AND -AYA 2UDOLPH WHO TRAVEL AROUND THE 53 LOOKING FOR SOMEWHERE TO SET TLE DOWN

0IC OF THE WEEK 4HE NEW *OKER POSTER FOR #HRISTO PHER .OLAN S 4HE $ARK +NIGHT

7HERE IN THE 7ORLD IS /SAMA "IN ,ADEN

#HARLIE "ARTLETT

7HAT HAPPENS IN 6EGAS

3MART 0EOPLE

4HE DIRECTOR OF THE UNFORGETTABLE 3UPER 3IZE -E

RETURNS WITH A SURPRISING FOLLOW UP HIS SEARCH FOR THE MOST WANTED YET ALLUSIVE MAN ON EARTH /SAMA "IN ,ADEN )F -ORGAN 3PURLOCK HAS LEARNED ANYTHING FROM OVER YEARS OF MOVIE WATCHING IT S THAT IF THE WORLD NEEDS SAVING IT S BEST DONE BY ONE LONE MAN WILLING TO FACE DAN GER HEAD ON TO TAKE IT DOWN ACTION HERO STYLE

! QUIRKY COMEDY WITH !NTON 9ELCHIN AS #HARLIE "ARTLETT A WEALTHY TEENAGER WHO BECOMES THE UNOFlCIAL PSYCHIATRIST FOR THE STUDENT BODY OF HIS SCHOOL $ISHING OUT BOTH HONEST ADVICE AND POWERFUL PRESCRIPTIONS #HARLIE HAS NO IDEA THE WAYS IN WHICH HE WILL TRANSFORM HIS CLASSMATES

THE SCHOOL PRINCIPAL 2OBERT $OWNEY *R AND THE POTENTIAL OF HIS OWN LIFE

#AMERON $IAZ AND !SHTON +UTCHER STAR AS STRANGERS WHO UNWITTINGLY END UP HITCHED AFTER A DRUNKEN NIGHT IN 6EGAS !FTER DECIDING TO AN NUL THE MARRIAGE *ACK +UTCHER STRIKES IT RICH AFTER PLAYING *OY S $IAZ COIN IN A SLOT MACHINE AND THE BATTLE BEGINS )F YOU FANCY WINNING SOME MERCHANDISE FROM THE lLM GO TO THE #OMPETITIONS PAGE

$ENNIS 1UAID STARS AS ,AWRENCE A BITTER WASHED OUT WIDOWER IN 3MART 0EOPLE A lLM THAT TACKLES THE LIVES OF SEVERAL SERIOUSLY UNHAPPY PEOPLE IN SURPRISINGLY FUNNY AND TOUCHING WAYS 7HEN ,AWRENCE S BROTHER #HUCK SHOWS UP UNEXPECT EDLY FOR AN EXTENDED STAY JUST AS HE ACCIDENTALLY ENCOUNTERS A FORMER STUDENT *ANET THE CIRCUM STANCES STIR HIM FROM HIS DEEP FREEZE

$6$ 2ELEASES

1UICKIES

7AITRESS

3UBURBAN 'IRL $IR -ARC +LEIN 4HERE S A REASON THE PRODUCERS CHANGED THE TITLE OF THIS lLM FROM 4HE 'IRL S 'UIDE TO (UNTING &ISHING TO 3UBURBAN 'IRL 7HERE THE FORMER PAINTS A PICTURE OF LIFE AND NATURE

THE lLM HAS TAKEN THIS AND TRANS FORMED IT TO ADAPT TO %ISENBERG S 3A RAH -ICHELLE 'ELLER MORE RESTRICTED LIFE AS AN AMBITIOUS .EW 9ORK EDI TOR WHO FALLS FOR THE CHARMS AND SECURITY OF !RCHIE +NOX !LEC "ALD WIN 4HROUGH A SERIES OF ORGANISED CHAPTERS "RETT OFFERS THE PRESUMED FEMALE AUDIENCE MUTUAL IDENTIlCA

TION THROUGH PERSONAL ISSUES THAT THE AUDIENCE WILL EMPATHISE WITH AS EXISTING IN THEIR OWN LIVES !LTHOUGH THE PERFORMANCES FROM BOTH 3ARAH -ICHELLE 'ELLER AND !LEC "ALDWIN WERE SATISFYING THE NAR RATIVE S TRANSITION BETWEEN SOLEMN AND HUMOROUS ISSUES UNFORTUNATELY TURNED A POTENTIALLY PLEASING RO MANTIC STORY INTO SOMETHING MORE PERPLEXING OBSCURING THE REAL EMO TION AND ENERGY THAT THE lLM COULD HAVE OFFERED !DAM 3CALES

,IONS FOR ,AMBS $IR 2OBERT 2EDFORD 2OBERT 2EDFORD DIRECTS AND STARS IN THIS PROVOCATIVE POLITICAL lLM 3ET OVER THE COURSE OF ONE MORNING

THE lLM FOLLOWS THREE PLOT LINES WHICH DEAL WITH THE 7AR ON 4ERROR IN DIFFERENT WAYS )N 7ASHINGTON

3ENATOR *ASPER )RVING 4OM #RUISE

UNVEILS A NEW !FGHAN WAR STRAT EGY TO VETERAN REPORTER *ANINE 2OTH -ERYL 3TREEP )N !FGHANISTAN

SOLDIERS %RNEST AND !RIAN -ICHAEL 0E×A AND $EREK ,UKE ARE DEPLOYED IN )RVING S MILITARY STRATEGY BUT END UP lGHTING TO STAY ALIVE )N #ALI FORNIA 0ROFESSOR -ALLEY 2EDFORD TRIES TO MOTIVATE APATHETIC STUDENT

$IR !DRIENNE 3HELLY ! QUIRKY STORY ABOUT A WOMAN WORKING IN A 3OUTHERN !MERICAN DINER WHO ENJOYS DAYDREAMING AND INTERVENING IN HER COLLEAGUES LOVE LIVES THIS MAY BE A SUCCESS WITH FANS OF &RENCH lLM !MELIE (OWEVER 7AITRESS HAS SOME MORE SERIOUS ISSUES WITH THE LEAD CHARACTER *ENNA DEALING WITH AN UNWANTED PREGNANCY A BULLYING HUSBAND AND AN AFFAIR WITH HER $OCTOR .ATHAN &ILLION +ERRI 2US SELL S PERFORMANCE AS *ENNA IS PROOF SHE DESERVES MORE LEADING ROLES 4ODD !NDREW 'ARlELD TO ENGAGE IN HIS POLITICAL SCIENCE CLASSES ,IONS FOR ,AMBS IS ALL TALK AND IN A GOOD WAY 7ITH OVER SIXTY PER CENT OF THE lLM BEING PURE DIA LOGUE THERE IS VERY LITTLE ACTION IN THE VISCERAL SENSE THAT DOESN T STOP IT FROM BEING RIVETING #RUISE IS ON TOP FORM AND HIS SOMETIMES OVERLY SERIOUS ACTING STYLE WORKS IN HIS FA VOUR AS THE ARDENT SENATOR 3TREEP IS EVER BRILLIANT KEEPING HER TITLE AS ONE OF THE MOST ACCOMPLISHED ACTORS ON SCREEN (ER SUBTLETY MANIFESTS ITSELF BEAUTIFULLY WHEN HER CHARACTER 2OTH lNALLY ACKNOWL EDGES HER OWN PARTICIPATION IN THE PROBLEMS OF THE MEDIA AND POLITI CAL AFFAIRS )T S CLEAR THAT THE RESPON SIBILITY HAS TO BE SHARED BY ALL AND NO ONE IS EXEMPT 4HE MESSAGE OF THIS lLM IS QUITE SIMPLE AND SOMEWHAT BLARINGLY SHOWN AT THE CLOSE OF THE lLM 2ED FORD HIMSELF A LONG TIME ACTIVIST

IS CALLING FOR ACTION FOR !MERICA TO TURN OFF THE CELEBRITY COVERAGE

3HE APTLY EVOKES A DARK WIT LYING BEHIND A WAITRESS WHO IS PASSION ATE ABOUT BAKING PIES 3OME MAY BE IRRITATED WITH THE LIGHTNESS GIVEN TO ISSUES SUCH AS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

AND FOR A MAN SHE DESPISES *ENNA S PATIENCE WITH HER HUSBAND PLAYED BY *EREMY 3ISTO IS A LITTLE TOO STRONG FOR BELIEF .EVERTHELESS IF YOU WANT TO WATCH SOMETHING MELLOW AND HOPEFUL 7AITRESS REFRESHINGLY GOES AGAINST THE OVERWORKED CONVEN TIONS OF ROMANTIC COMEDY %MMA &EATHERSTONE

WHICH THEIR NEWS HAS BECOME SATU RATED IN AND GET INVOLVED WITH THEIR COUNTRY AND THEIR POLITICS ,IONS FOR ,AMBS IS WELL BALANCED AND 2ED FORD DOESN T JUST TAKE YOU DOWN ONE STRAND OF WHAT ACTION IS NEED ED THE lLM IS ABOUT ASKING QUES TIONS AND GETTING PEOPLE TO ENGAGE

AS OPPOSED TO OFFERING STALE AND CLICHÏD ANSWERS TO THE PROBLEMS PRESENTED $ESPITE THE LACK OF ACTION THE lLM NEVER FEELS LIKE ITS DRAGGING

2EDFORD S DIRECTION WORKS WELL

CAREFULLY INTERLOCKING THE PLOT STRANDS AND KEEPING EACH SEGMENT SHORT AND TO THE POINT AND MAIN TAINING A PACE WHICH KEEPS YOU EN GAGED 4HOUGH IT MAY SEEM MORE LIKE A LESSON IN CIVIC DUTY THAN A DRAMA ,IONS FOR ,AMBS IS NONETHE LESS AN EXPERIENCE TO BE SEEN !

BOLD AND COMPELLING lLM .ATASHA +UNDAIKER

*OHNNY $EPP AND (ELENA "ON HAM #ARTER STAR IN 4IM "URTON S ON SCREEN REVIVAL OF THE 3TEPHEN 3ONDHEIM MUSICAL OF REVENGE AND MISFORTUNE $EPP IS BRILLIANT AND "ONHAM #ARTER IS SIMPLY DELEC TABLE AS -RS ,OVETT ! MUST SEE

DESPITE THE GORE

7ILL 3MITH STARS AS $R 2OBERT .EVILLE THE LAST MAN ALIVE IN .9# WHO BECOMES HUNTED DOWN BY GENETICALLY MUTATED VAMPIRIC CREATURES WHO HAVE TAKEN OVER THE CITY 7ITHOUT 7ILL 3MITH ) !M ,EGEND WOULD FALL mAT BUT 3MITH SAVES THE lLM WITH HIS EMOTION ALLY POWERFUL PERFORMANCE

&ROM "ORDERS WITH ,OVE $O YOU KNOW THE NAME OF "LOFELD S PUSSY /R WHICH "OND VILLIAN HAS A THIRD NIPPLE 4HEN COME ALONG AND BE SHAKEN AND STIRRED AT THE GREAT "OND &ILM 1UIZ 3MILING 3AM (OAD SERVES UP A POTENT COCKTAIL OF QUESTIONS FOR "OND AFlCIANDOS

)NSTORE &RIDAY -AY TH FROM PM ! FANTASTIC "OND $6$ PRIZE TO BE WON "UT IF YOU CAN T WAIT UNTIL THEN ANSWER THIS QUESTION FOR A CHANCE TO WIN A TOP TITLE $6$ FROM "ORDERS 1 4HIS -AY A BRAND NEW *AMES "OND BOOK IS DUE TO BE RELEASED 7HAT IS THE TITLE AND WHO IS THE FAMOUS AUTHOR WHO WILL BE STEPPING INTO )AN &LEMING S SHOES %MAIL YOUR NAME AND ANSWER TO CONCRETE EVENT

UEA AC UK BY WITH @"OND &ILM 1UIZ IN THE SUBJECT LINE

3TRICTLY ,UHRMANN

7ITH "AZ ,UHRMAN S FOURTH lLM !USTRALIA SOON TO BE RELEASED ,YNNE 0EARSON TAKES A LOOK AT THE !USSIE lLM DIRECTOR SCREENWRITER AND PRODUCER WHO S mAMBOYANT THEATRI CALITY HAS MARKED HIM OUT AS ONE OF MODERN CINEMA S GREATEST VISUAL STYLISTS

&

OR A DIRECTOR WHO HAS JUST THREE lLMS TO HIS NAME "AZ ,UHRMAN HAS ALREADY LEFT HIS MARK ON THE lLM WORLD 3YN ONYMOUS WITH CAMP THEATRICALITY

,UHRMAN HAS THE hMARMITE EFFECTv

DIVIDING AUDIENCES INTO THOSE WHO LOVE HIS lLMS AND THOSE WHO ABSOLUTELY HATE THEM 4HE lRST OF ,UHRMAN S lLMS

3TRICTLY "ALLROOM WAS RELEASED IN

ADAPTED FROM A "ROADWAY PLAY OF THE SAME NAME WHICH HE HAD CO WRITTEN )T TELLS THE STORY OF TRIUMPH AGAINST ADVERSITY AS A BALLROOM AMATEUR TEAMS UP WITH A LOOSE CANON PROFESSIONAL AND THE PAIR ATTEMPT TO WIN !USTRALIA S MOST PRESTIGIOUS DANCING TROPHY $ESPITE NOT BEING QUITE AS WELL KNOWN AS ,UHRMAN S OTHER lLMS AT THE TIME IT WAS A WORLD WIDE SUCCESS AND DEMONSTRATED THE DIRECTOR S ABILITY TO PLAY WITH TRADITIONAL STORY TELL ING CLICHÏS WITH PARALLELS TO 4HE 5GLY $UCKLING #INDERELLA AND $AVID AND 'OLIATH ,UHRMAN S TALENT FOR RE INTER PRETING SUCH CLASSIC STORIES BY GIV ING THEM AN EDGY TWIST WAS FURTHER SHOWCASED IN S 2OMEO AND *ULIET (IS DECISION TO TAKE ONE OF 3HAKESPEARE S MOST FAMOUS PLAYS AND SET IT IN A VAGUELY FUTURISTIC AND VIOLENT ,! SUBURB WAS AN ORIGINAL AND BRAVE MOVE BUT ONE WHICH PAID OFF SPECTACULARLY 4HE lLM PUT ,UHRMAN S NAME lRMLY ON THE MAP AS AN INmUENTIAL DIRECTOR ACHIEVING BOTH HUGE COMMERCIAL SUCCESS AND CRITICAL ACCLAIM GROSSING MIL LION AT THE BOX OFlCE -OULIN 2OUGE FOLLOWED FOUR YEARS LATER IN ,IKE 2OMEO AND *ULIET THE lLM CENTRES ON A TRAGIC LOVE STORY AND ALSO ENJOYED MAS SIVE lNANCIAL SUCCESS 5NLIKE ITS PREDECESSOR THE CRITICS WERE NOT AS UNANIMOUS IN THEIR PRAISE 3ET DUR ING THE TURN OF THE TWENTIETH CEN TURY IN THE BOHEMIAN 0ARIS DISTRICT

OF -ONTMARTE MANY FELT THAT THE FRENETICALLY PACED CAMERA WORK WAS TOO DISORIENTATING AND THAT THE lLM LACKED THE EDGE OF 2OMEO AND *ULIET 4OGETHER ALL THREE lLMS ARE NOW FORMALLY MARKETED AS h4HE 2ED #URTAIN 4RILOGYv 4HE MAIN PLOT DE VICE IN EACH lLM IS A ROMANCE BE TWEEN THE TWO CENTRAL CHARACTERS

EMPLOYING A THEATRICAL ELEMENT TO FURTHER DEVELOP THE STORY AND ADD ENTERTAINMENT VALUE )N THIS SENSE

IT IS EASY TO SEE WHY ,UHRMAN CITES "OLLYWOOD AS ONE OF HIS MAIN INmU ENCES 4HE "OLLYWOOD FORM IS MOST PREVALENT IN -OULIN 2OUGE WHICH USES THE CONCEPT OF A PLAY WITHIN A PLAY !NOTHER OF ,UHRMAN S OTHER MAIN INmUENCE S IS )TALIAN 'RAND /PERA REFERENCED IN BOTH -OULIN 2OUGE AND 2OMEO AND *ULIET BY THEIR PREOCCUPATION WITH ULTIMATELY TRAG IC LOVE AFFAIRS

!ROUND THE TIME OF ITS RELEASE

ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR SOUND BITES ATTRIBUTED TO 2OMEO AND *U LIET WAS h3HAKESPEARE FOR THE -46 GENERATION v WITH SOME CRITICS AP PROPRIATING THIS TO SUIT THEIR BELIEF THAT ,UHRMAN HAD hDUMBED DOWNv OR OVER SIMPLIlED STORIES WHICH SHOULD EXIST ONLY AS HIGH CULTURE "UT MOST OF THE DIALOGUE IN THE lLM REMAINS TRUE TO THE ORIGINAL PLAY AND THE CHANGE OF SETTING IS PERHAPS NO DIFFERENT TO THAT OF SOME OF THE RECENT RE INTERPRETATIONS BY THE 2OY AL 3HAKESPEARE #OMPANY 7HAT ALL THESE lLMS ACHIEVE IS TO MAKE HIGH CULTURE MORE ACCESSIBLE 4HEATRICAL OPERA AND 3HAKESPEARE ARE NOT USUALLY GENRES WHICH EASILY HOLD THE ATTENTION OF YOUNG PEOPLE "UT BY MODERNISING IT AND CHANGING THE SETTING TO A MORE CONTEMPORARY ONE SUCH GENRES CAN GAIN A NEW REL

EVANCE &OR EXAMPLE

BY REPLACING SWORDS WITH GUNS AS IN 2OMEO AND *ULIET OR BY USING SONGS THAT ARE THE EPITOME OF CONTEMPORARY MUSIC AND POP CULTURE AS IN -OULIN 2OUGE

THE AUDIENCE CAN SEE HOW A TRULY GREAT STORY OR FABLE IS ONE THAT TRAN SCENDS TIME OR SETTING !LL OF ,UHR MAN S lLMS ARE ABOUT BASIC HUMAN EXPERIENCES THAT WILL ALWAYS OCCUR

SUCH AS FALLING IN LOVE AGAINST ALL THE ODDS AND THE TRIUMPH AGAINST AD VERSITY AND DEATH 4HE ,UHRMAN S CONSIDERABLE ABILITY AT PORTRAYING THIS IS HIGH LIGHTED BY THE FACT THAT 3TRICTLY "ALL ROOM IS NOW SET AS THE MAIN lLM ON THE CURRICULUM FOR SECONDARY SCHOOL lLM STUDIES IN %NGLISH )RISH AND 3OUTH !FRICAN EXAM BOARDS 3IMI LARLY ,UHRMAN S 2OMEO AND *ULIET IS NOW USUALLY SET ALONGSIDE THE CLAS SIC &RANCO :EFFERELLI VERSION

TO DEMONSTRATE TO '#3% %NGLISH STUDENTS HOW THIS MOST INFAMOUS OF PLAYS WORKS IN PRACTICE !FTER AN ABSENCE OF OVER YEARS

,UHRMAN S NEXT lLM !USTRALIA REP RESENTS A DEPARTURE FOR THE DIREC TOR WITH NO RELIANCE ON AN EXISTING STORY 3TARRING .ICOLE +IDMAN AND (UGH *ACKMAN AND PROVISIONALLY SET FOR RELEASE IN .OVEMBER

IT IS AN ADVENTURE DRAMA SET IN THE WAR TORN !USTRALIAN OUTBACK 3OME MAY DISMISS ,UHRMAN S DIRECTING AS MERE STYLE OVER SUB STANCE AND DESPITE HIS HUGE COM MERCIAL SUCCESS HE HAS YET TO WIN AN /SCAR FOR "EST $IRECTION "UT HE SHOULD BE APPLAUDED FOR HIS CREA TIVE INGENUITY AND INVENTIVENESS THAT ENABLES OFTEN TRAGIC STORIES TO BE TOLD WHILST STILL MAINTAINING GREAT ENTERTAINMENT VALUE FOR THE AUDIENCE

4HE %VENT MEETS !TLAS AKA 3AM "OND

&

ANS ARE EAGERLY AWAITING THE RE TURN OF THE POPULAR TELEVISION SHOW 'LADIATORS TO OUR SCREENS THIS -AY AFTER A BREAK OF EIGHT YEARS 0RESENTED BY FORMER FOOTBALLER )AN 7RIGHT AND SPORTS PRESENTER +IRSTY 'ALLAGHER THE NEW SERIES OF THE SHOW WILL FEATURE CONTENDERS WHO WILL CHALLENGE SIX NEW MALE 'LADIATORS AND SIX NEW FEMALE 'LADIATORS IN OLD AND NEW 'LADIATOR EVENTS SUCH AS THE $UEL

4HE 7ALL (ANG 4OUGH AND THE %LIMI NATOR IN A QUEST FOR THE CHAMPIONSHIP CROWN AND GRAND PRIZE OF a

-ANY A 3ATURDAY EVENING IN THE S WAS SPENT WATCHING THIS EXCITING ACTION PACKED TELEVISION SHOW FROM THE .ATIONAL )NDOOR !RENA IN "IRMING HAM WHICH RAN FOR ALMOST EIGHT YEARS 0ARTICULAR MEMORABLE CHARACTERS FROM THE LAST SERIES INCLUDE PRESENTERS 5LRIKA *ONSSON AND *OHN &ASHANU THE TERRIFYING 'LADIATOR @4HE

7OLF AND 3COTTISH REFEREE *OHN !NDER SON WHO IN FACT IS RETURNING AS REF EREE TO THE NEW SERIES 4HE %VENT WAS DELIGHTED TO SPEAK TO NEW MALE 'LADIATOR @!TLAS WHO IS CURRENTLY IN THE MIDST OF lLMING THE NEW SERIES !TLAS WHOSE REAL NAME IS 3AM "OND HAILS FROM "OURNEMOUTH AND WORKED AS A CHARITY FUNDRAISER

DOING BODYBUILDING IN HIS SPARE TIME

BEFORE WINNING A PART AS A 'LADIATOR ON THE NEW 3KY /NE SHOW THIS YEAR (AVING GROWN UP WATCHING 'LADI ATORS "OND TOLD US THAT HIS AUNT RANG HIM TO TELL HIM THAT THE SHOW WAS BE ING BROUGHT BACK SUGGESTING THAT HE SHOULD APPLY 'LADIATORS HAD TO APPLY AS CONTENDERS lRST AND SO "OND WENT TO THE AUDITIONS ALONG WITH

OTHER HOPEFULS WHERE LUCKILY THE CAST ING TEAM RECOGNISED THAT HE WAS lT ENOUGH LOOKED THE PART AND HAD THE NECESSARY CHARISMA TO BECOME A 'LADI

ATOR !ND SO !TLAS WAS BORN !TLAS IS FT

WEIGHING IN AT STONE LBS 7ITH HIS LONG BLOND HAIR AND MUSCLED BODY

!TLAS IS ALREADY BEING COMPARED TO THE ONE OF THE SHOW S MOST MEMORA BLE AND POPULAR PREVIOUS 'LADIATORS

(UNTER 7HEN ASKED ABOUT THE EXPE RIENCE SO FAR !TLAS SAID h)T HAS BEEN ABSOLUTELY AMAZING -Y JOB IS NOW TO HANG OUT OF CEILINGS WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT v )NSPIRED BY THE GLADIATORS IN !N CIENT 2OME THE IDEA FOR 'LADIATORS WAS CONCEIVED BY !MERICAN ENTERTAINER *OHNNY &ERRARO WHO ORGANISED A 'LAD IATOR STYLE EVENT TO FUNDRAISE FOR A NEW COMMUNITY HALL IN HIS HOMETOWN IN THE 53 3EEING THE SUCCESS OF THE EVENT

HE APPROACHED 4 6 PRODUCERS IN (OL LYWOOD WHO EVENTUALLY BOUGHT INTO THE IDEA 4HUS BEGAN !MERICAN 'LADI ATORS IN )N 5+ 'LADIATORS FOLLOWED ON )46 4HE PHENOMENAL SUCCESS OF THE SHOW HAS ALSO SPREAD TO !USTRALIA 3OUTH !FRICA 2USSIA &IN LAND 'ERMANY .IGERIA $ENMARK AND 3WEDEN WHO ALL HAVE THEIR OWN VER SIONS OF THIS HIT SHOW 4HE NEWS THAT 'LADIATORS IS TO RETURN TO THE 5+ HAS BEEN MET WITH GREAT ENTHUSIASM BY OLD AND YOUNG ALIKE 4HE %VENT LOOKS FORWARD TO SEEING !TLAS IN ACTION WHEN 'LADIATORS HITS 3KY /NE 3UNDAYS AT PM FROM -AY ONWARDS .IAMH -URPHY

7HERE !RE 4HEY .OW 0INGU

0INGU IS PERHAPS THE ULTIMATE ICON OF NINE TIES CHILDREN S TELEVISION JABBERING AWAY IN 0ENGUINESE THE OFlCIAL LANGUAGE OF OUR FROSTY 3OUTH 0OLE FRIENDS AND GETTING UP TO MISCHIEF THAT WE ALL STRIVED TO REPLICATE (IS ANTICS INSPIRED MANY OF US TO WEE ON THE mOOR KISS ATTRACTIVE PENGUINS AND KICK OUR LITTLE SISTER S POTTY OVER /UR LIVES WERE UNDOUBTEDLY ENRICHED BY THE SKILLS WE LEARNT FROM THIS PENGUIN PROGRAMME SUCH AS HOW TO CATCH A lSH OR BUILD AN IGLOO 4HERE SWAS ALWAYS A LESSON TO BE LEARNED FROM 0INGU

WITH A PARTICULAR FOCUS ON THE CONSEQUENCES OF BAD BEHAVIOUR AND THE VALUE OF SHARING AND PLAYING WITH YOUR FRIENDS )TS lVE MINUTE EPISODES WERE SHORT ENOUGH FOR THE MOST AT TENTION DElCIENT CHILD TO BE CAPTIVATED AND LONG ENOUGH TO GAIN INSIGHT INTO THE ZANY LIVES OF THESE !NTARCTIC BIRDS 4O THE DISTRESS OF MANY PARENTS AND CHILDREN ALIKE 0INGU

DISAPPEARED FROM OUR SCREENS FOR SEVERAL YEARS AND WE ASSUME WENT INTO HIDING IN HIS HOMELAND OF 3WITZERLAND (OWEVER 0INGU HAS MADE A COMEBACK IN THE RECENTLY RENAMED 4HE 0INGU 3HOW AND CAN BE VIEWED BEFORE STUDENT WAKING HOURS ON THE #"EEBIES BREAKFAST SHOW 4HOUGH THE NEW TITLE IS INOFFENSIVE ALBEIT UNNECES SARY THE NEW THEME TUNE IS AN UNWELCOME CHANGE TO THIS LEGENDARY STAPLE OF TODDLERS DAILY 46 DIET 'ONE ARE THE DAYS OF THE CUTE LITTLE JINGLE THAT WE CAN SING ALONG TO NOW 0INGU HAS BEEN JAZZED UP WITH A RAP STYLE TUNE LACKING THE MUCH LOVED hWAH WAHv END ING $ESPITE THIS AT THE GRAND AGE OF 0IN GU HAS RETURNED TO AMUSE AND ENDEAR A NEW GENERATION OF FANS WHO ARE LUCKY TO BE AWAKE EARLY ENOUGH TO ENJOY THE TOMFOOLERY OF THIS NAUGHTY LITTLE PENGUIN 'RACE 3IMPSON

5NI "ANDS 4ESS 7ILL 0LAYING AND WRITING THEIR OWN INSPIRING MU SIC 4ESS 7ILL ARE A TWO PERSON BAND HERE AT 5%! "OTH IN THEIR SECOND YEAR DOING %NG LISH ,ITERATURE DEGREES THE BAND CURRENTLY CONSISTS OF 4ESS "ATCHELOR ON VOCALS AND WRITING LYRICS AND 7ILL $ONOVAN ON ACOUS TIC GUITAR 4HE PAIR MET THROUGH A MUTUAL FRIEND IN AND UNITED AS A BAND NEARLY A YEAR AGO "RIEmY KNOWN AS 4HE "RONZE THEY SOON REVERTED BACK TO THE ORIGINAL NAME OF 4ESS 7ILL 4HIS YEAR THE PAIR HAVE BEEN PERFORM ING GIGS ACROSS .ORWICH AND WRITING SONGS TOGETHER FOR ABOUT SIX MONTHS 7ITH THEIR SELF DESCRIBED SOUND OF ACOUSTIC POP THEIR MUSIC HAS A VERY HEART FELT SOUND 4ESS 7ILL S INSPIRATION COMES FROM BANDS SUCH AS 4EGAN AND 3ARA -ODEST

-OUSE &RANK 4URNER AND *OSHUA 2ADIN !T THE MOMENT THEY HAVE PLANS TO RECORD AN %0 IN -AY IN ORDER TO GET IT OUT FOR PEOPLE TO HEAR BEFORE THE END OF SUMMER SEMESTER

AND GIGS IN THEIR HOME COUNTY OF %SSEX DUR ING THE SUMMER .EXT YEAR THE TWO ALSO HAVE PLANS TO PERHAPS START SEARCHING FOR OTHER MUSICIANS IN ORDER TO MAKE A FULLER BAND 9OU LL CURRENTLY lND THEM PLAYING THEIR WAY ACROSS .ORWICH BUILDING AN IMPRESSIVE REPUTATION AT VENUES SUCH AS 4HE "IRDCAGE AND THE 4EN "ELLS WHICH THEY HAVE ALSO CRED ITED AS HAVING GREAT FRIENDLY ATMOSPHERES 9OU CAN lND OUT MORE ABOUT THEM AND LISTEN TO THEIR SONGS ON THEIR -Y3PACE PAGE n WWW MYSPACE COM TESSANDWILL 2ACHAEL 0RICE

0REVIEW

&OR THOSE WITH A LOT OF SPARE TIME ON THEIR HANDS AN ADDICTION TO 'UITAR (ERO AND A RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF CASH AVAILABLE THEN BE READY TO FRITTER AWAY YOUR SUMMER ON 2OCK "AND 2ELEASED ON RD -AY FOR THE 8BOX AND LATER THIS YEAR FOR THE 7II AND 03 2OCK "AND BRINGS TOGETHER GUITAR VOCALS BASS AND THE BIG ADDITION OF DRUMS IT LOOKS TO BE A BIG DRAW FOR ANY FANS OF 'UITAR (ERO AND WILL SURELY BRING IN MORE FANS WITH THE NEW INSTRUMENTS 7ITH A GREAT TRACK LIST FEATURING MAIN SONGS AND BONUS TRACKS SUCH AS -ETALLICA S %NTER 3ANDMAN .IRVANA S )N "LOOM AND "OWIE S 3UFFRAGETTE #ITY THE GAME COVERS A BROAD SCOPE WHICH LOOKS TO OFFER SONGS THAT 'UITAR (ERO VETERANS WILL STILL lND IT HARD TO MASTER

AND FULlL THE NEW BAND EXPERIENCE ! STRONG ORIGINAL TRACK LIST IS BOLSTERED BY THE ALMOST IMMEDIATE AVAILABILITY OF AROUND SIX MONTHS WORTH OF DOWNLOADABLE CONTENT WHICH THOUGH HARDLY A CONSOLATION FOR WAITING HALF A YEAR LONGER THAN OUR FORMER COLONIES OVER THE !TLANTIC ADDS

EVEN MORE FUN TO AN ALREADY GLITTERING GAME AS WELL AS ADDING MORE TO THE PRICE -ULTIPLAYER ON 'UITAR (ERO WAS ALWAYS FUN HEAD TO HEAD SITTING AROUND WITH FOUR FRIENDS

3O YOU THINK YOU RE A #AN T WAIT FOR 2OCK "AND TO COME OUT %VEN $RAGONFORCE STARTING TO FEEL A LITTLE UNCHALLENGING FOR THOSE lNGERS "ORED OF EXAM REVISION )F THE ANSWER TO ANY OF THESE QUESTIONS IS YES THEN PUT DOWN THOSE JITTERY BISCUITS AND GET ON A COMPUTER AS 7IRED BRINGS YOU ITS GUIDE TO THE ULTIMATE IN GUITAR HERO HOMAGE

EACH ON A DIFFERENT INSTRUMENT ROCKING OUT ON GUITAR AND BASS GOING CRAZY ON DRUMS OR GROWLING DOWN THE MIC OFFERS POSSIBLY ONE OF THE BEST MULTIPLAYER EXPERIENCES EVER AND IS WHAT THE GAME IS ALL ABOUT 3O THIS SUMMER SHELL OUT THE a GRAB THREE FRIENDS WILLING TO QUIT THEIR JOBS CRANK UP THE VOLUME AND DON T EVEN THINK ABOUT SEEING THE SUNSHINE &OR THOSE ABOUT TO 2OCK "AND WE SALUTE YOU #HRIS "ULLOCK

'UITAR (ERO HTTP WWW ROCKETXL COM GH GH WIDGET SWF 'UITAR (ERO x "ROWSER EDITION &OR THOSE TIMES ONLINE WHEN YOU REALLY NEED YOUR lX AND THERE ISN T A CONSOLE OR WEE PLASTIC CONTROLLER ANYWHERE WITHIN AN ARM S REACH

#ELLO (ERO HTTP PHILHARMONIKER WEB FEEDBACK DE INDEX ASP &OR THE HIGH CULTURED AMONG YOU TRY GIVING THIS #ELLO HERO A GO AND ALLOW THE SOOTHING TONES OF ,E #YGNE THE 3WAN TO EASE AWAY THOSE PAINFUL MEMORIES OF NUMEROUS FAILED

ATTEMPTS HALFWAY INTO THE SECOND SOLO OF &IRE AND &LAMES -ANDOLIN (ERO HTTP WWW FORBIDDENKINGDOMMOVIE COM $OING YOUR BEST TO IGNORE THE AWESOME TRAILER FOR *ACKIE AND *ET S LATEST +UNG &U ACTION MOVIE AND CLICKING THE LINK AT THE BOTTOM WILL OPEN UP @-ANDOLIN 7ARRIOR x 'UITAR (ERO GAMEPLAY IN A TRADITIONAL #HINESE STYLE 2EAL LIFE HERO HTTP WWW ULTIMATE GUITAR COM 2EGARDED BY MANY AS THE MOST VISCERAL AND REALISTIC EXPERIENCE OF ALL IT IS ALSO ARGUABLY THE MOST DIFlCULT TO TRULY MASTER /FFERING

BY FAR THE MOST CUSTOMISABLE SETUP OF ANY CURRENT INCARNATION THUS FAR EVERYTHING FROM CONTROLLER TO SPEAKER SYSTEM AND VARIOUS ADD ONS CAN BE COMBINED OFFERING TRULY INlNITE POSSIBILITIES 9ES GO GET YOURSELF A REAL GUITAR THIS SUMMER AND BECOME A MUSICIAN 4EACHING YOURSELF TO PLAY IS ONE OF THE MOST REWARDING EXPERIENCES OF THEM ALL -IKE -OORE

'AMING 'REATS #LOSET 0RO %VOLUTION

ALLSTAR TRUST TAXI

3OCCER PLAYERS 4HIS ARTICLE IS NOT JUST DEDICATED TO THE GAME

BUT TO THE PEOPLE WHO PLAY IT .AMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE REPUTATIONS OF ALL INVOLVED 0ICTURE THE SCENE AN AGED TARRED 03 SITS AMIDST PALE CARPET IN A DARKENED STUDENT LIVING ROOM )T GRINDS SURREPTITIOUSLY AN ,%$ EYE UNBLINKING IN THE DARK -ANNY AND 2OMANO ARE INTO THEIR FOURTH GAME 4WO lCTIONAL TEAMS THE *ANITORS AND THE "UNNIES BATTLE IT OUT DAY AFTER DAY AN EPIC

CLASH OF SIDES RELIVED IN ENDLESS WAR 4HE JANITORS RETAIN AN AIR OF BOMBAST

OVERSEEN BY -ANNY ONE EXPERIENCED IN THE ART AND SCIENCE OF THE CONTROLS 2OMANO

A RELATIVE NEWCOMER TO THE GAME LEADS HIS TEAM OF PINK AND BLACK CLAD UNDER BUNNIES IN AN ALL OUT ASSAULT OF WIT AND CONTROLLER PAD STRATEGY 4HE "UNNIES GAIN A LEAD BUT

PRIVATE HIRE TAXI COMPANY, OFFERING A FRIENDLY, LOCALLY BASED SERVICE WITH VERY COMPETITIVE RATES -ANNY IS QUICK TO EQUALISE (E INSISTS THAT HE SCORES WHEN HE WANTS IT BADLY ENOUGH h7ANT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT v 2OMANO PROTESTS h9OU CAN T TRANSMIT YOUR WANT DOWN THE WIRE AND INTO THE MACHINEv 4HEIR BITTER FEUD CONTINUES ON AND OFF THE PITCH AS THE TENSION MOUNTS h4HEY MUST BE WONDERING WHAT THEY HAVE TO DO TO BEAT THIS GOALKEEPER TODAYv THE COMMENTATORS JEST THROUGH THEIR SARDONIC LEXICON OF LIMITED ARBITRARY STOCK PHRASES 4HE GAME CONTINUES THE SOUND OF CONTROLLER PAD ABUSE HEAIGHTENS IN THE EXCITEMENT -ANNY HAS NOT YET WASHED OR DRESSED (E IS TRULY LIVING THE 0%3 DREAM LIVING SLEEPING

EATING AND WHOLLY CONSUMING FOOTBALL ALL FROM HIS FAVOURITE SPOT ON THE SOFA /THER THAN THE INEVITABLE TOILET BREAKS BROUGHT ON THROUGH HIS HABIT OF EXCELLENT HYDRATION THE GAME IS HIS AND HE IS THE GAME (E IS LIVING IN THE MOMENT SAVOURING EACH PASS EVERY TACKLE AND TURN (IS LIFE OUTSIDE THE GAME

A LIFE OF GOING TO CLASS STUDYING OR WRITING ESSAYS DOES NOT EXIST )N THIS MOMENT ALL HE LIVES FOR IS THE SWEET TASTE OF VICTORY -IKE -OORE

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01603 744444 RING TODAY

AND JOIN OUR MANY SATISFIED CUSTOMERS Unit 8, Horizon Works, 397-‐399 Dereham Road, Costessy, Norwich NR5 0SE

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2IVER THAT RUNS THROUGH CAMPUS &ORMER NAME OF THE $2# .OT ME 4RUMAN x AUTHOR OF )N #OLD "LOOD 'NARLS "ARKLEY SONG 6ISCOUS BLACK LIQUID 3KIN DISEASE COMMON DUR ING ADOLESCENCE "ULLETS !BBR (OLDING A PRISONER TO EXTORT MONEY 3WEET BAKED SNACK FOOD 2ELIGIOUS CENTRE ON CAMPUS

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#ATCHER IN THEx 3OLLY x 5%! ALUMNI FAMOUS FOR ZOOLOGY x WITH -USSOLINI xIN THE 5+ PUNK SONG 3WEET 0OTATO ,IQUID DESERT MADE FROM MILK AND EGGS )TEM OF CLOTHING WORN FOR MANUAL WORK 'OOD WITH SAUSAGES AND EGGS IN THE MORNING "LACK BIRD ,AND COMPLETELY SURROUNDED BY WATER 3INGERS OF -R "LUE 3KY

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3UDOKU with

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4O BE IN WITH A CHANCE OF WINNING A a VOUCHER TO SPEND AT 4HE !VENUE "OOKSHOP BRING YOUR COMPLETED ENTRY TO THE #ONCRETE OFl CE BY

.AME

21 Avenue Road, Norwich 01603 768720 Open 10am - 5pm, Mon to Sat

%MAIL

(OW TO %NTER )N ORDER TO ENTER COMPETITIONS JUST l LL IN YOUR NAME AND EMAIL ADDRESS AND TAKE IT TO THE #ONCRETE OFl CE UPSTAIRS IN 5NION (OUSE /NCE IN THE (IVE GO UP THE STAIRS AND TURN BACK ON YOURSELF TO THE LEFT 4URN RIGHT BEFORE THE GLASS DOORS TO THE 5NION OFl CES AND THROUGH THE SINGLE DOOR BEFORE CONTINUING DOWN THE CORRIDOR 4URN RIGHT AT THE END THROUGH THE DOOR AND THE #ONCRETE OFl CE IS IMMEDIATELY ON YOUR LEFT

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!S THIS IS OUR LAST ISSUE WE HAVE A BUMPER 7HAT (APPENS IN 6EGAS PRIZE PACK TO GIVE AWAY COURTESY OF &OX AND /DEON #INEMAS 3TARRING #AMERON $IAZ AND !SH TON +UTCHER 7HAT (APPENS IN 6EGAS TELLS THE STORY OF *OY AND *ACK TWO STRANGERS WHO HEAD TO ,AS 6EGAS AND AFTER ONE DRUNKEN NIGHT OF PAS SION THEY DISCOVER THEY GOT MARRIED THE NIGHT BEFORE 7HILE TRYING TO END THE MARRIAGE THEY WIN A MILLION JACKPOT AND END UP HAVING TO WORK ON THEIR @MARRIAGE OR FACE LOSING THE MONEY ALTOGETHER 9OU CAN WIN EXCLUSIVE 7HAT (AP PENS IN 6EGAS MERCHANDISE INCLUD ING m UFFY DICE T SHIRTS AND PLAYING CARDS PLUS TWO EXTRA LUCKY WINNERS WILL RECIEVE A PAIR OF TICKETS EACH TO GO AND SEE THE l LM AT THE /DEON !LL YOU HAVE TO DO IS EMAIL CON CRETE EVENT UEA AC UK BY WITH THE ANSWER TO THE FOLLOWING QUESTION 7HICH 53 STATE WAS #AMERON $IAZ BORN IN

!LSO THIS WEEK YOU CAN WIN A COPY OF 3UB URBAN 'IRL ON $6$ 3TARRING 3ARAH -ICHELLE 'ELLAR !LEC "ALDWIN -AGGIE 'RACE AND #HRIS #AR MACK THE l LM CENTRES AROUND THE STORY OF A YOUNG BOOK EDITOR IN .EW 9ORK TRY ING TO NAVIGATE THE TRICKY WORLDS OF LOVE AND OFl CE POLITICS 4O BE IN WITH A CHANCE OF WINNING

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