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Tuesday 7th December 2010 • Issue 249 • UEA’s Independent Student Newspaper
SIMON SAYS ‘NO’ TO TOP UP FEE RISE Susanna Wood
News Correspondent
Simon Wright has announced his intention to vote against a rise in tuition fees. His decision was made public less than 24 hours before appearing at a public debate held at UEA. The Union-organised debate, which also featured NUS President Aaron Porter and former Labour MP Ian Gibson, took questions on the subject of tuition fees from students and the general public. His announcement followed swiftly after a statement that the vote for a rise in fees will be put to the House of Commons on December 9th. Speaking to the packed lecture theatre on Thursday, the MP for Norwich South made it clear that it was the discussions he had had with students and parents over the past few weeks that had prompted his decision. He explained to Concrete that he “was won over by what constituents actually had to say”. He added: “I would not say there was any one demonstration or one particular campaign tactic that won me over. It was all the face-to-face meetings, small groups, letters I received, which put the points
clearly across to me and helped me make my decision.” Aaron Porter publicly thanked Simon Wright for confirming that he would vote against the proposals, calling it a “victory for student votes”. Having signed the NUS’s pledge against a raise in fees prior to the election, Wright has regularly been criticised by NUS for his ambiguous stance. However, Porter seemed satisfied with Wright’s response after the debate, saying: “I think the organisation of the debate helped make up his mind but I also accept that Simon has been looking at the proposals and I feel he has genuinely taken the time to consider the merits or otherwise of the package.” Responding to criticism over how long the decision has taken, Wright emphasised that the subject of tuition fees was “not a simple issue”, telling this reporter that he is “very much committed to the coalition; I don’t take any pride at all in voting against a commitment I made in signing up to the coalition agreement so I felt it was only right to discuss with my colleagues in Parliament why I was going against it”.
Continued on page 2
Simon Wright MP signs a giant replica of the original pledge he signed earlier this year
NEWS: UEA law lecturer found guilty
NEWS: UEA occupied
NEWS: UEA scientists uncover biodiversity hotspot
FEATURES: Concrete speaks to author, Rose Tremain
SPORT: It’s snow joke for UEA’s sports clubs
UEA criminal law lecturer, Julian Myerscough, is found guilty of possessing indecent images of children. Page 4
UEA’s Council House occupied by 13 protesters as security guard sustains minor injuries. Page 3
Breckland, an area of outstanding biodiversity has been discovered by the ENV school. Page 6
Alex Ross catches up with UEA graduate and former lecturer Rose Tremain. Page 14
UEA sport endured a torrid fortnight as the wintery conditions decimated the fixture list Page 24
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ISSUE 249
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James Hughes
News Reporter
The beautiful winter scenes in East Anglia have been marred by severe logistical problems caused by the earliest snowfall in seventeen years, bringing havoc to transport connections within the region. For students of UEA the poor weather on the roads meant that many lecturers could not make it to into university last week, leading to the cancellation of lectures and seminars. This may have put added pressure on to those students in their final years whose assignment and dissertation deadlines are looming. Commuters travelling on many of the train networks in and out of Norwich were disrupted at the beginning of last week as their journeys were subject to many delays and cancellations. The bad weather had led to signal delays at Colchester and thus had massive repercussions on the route from London to
Norwich. On the morning of November 30th, during the height of the snowfall, three of the early morning trains were cancelled. Passengers who were fortunate to not have their trains cancelled were subject to delays of up to 45 minutes, however, those whose trains were over 30 minutes late were entitled to a refund under the National Express ‘delay repay’ scheme. It was a similar story on the coach service from National Express also. A statement on the website has addressed the inconvenience suffered by its customers, saying: “We are doing everything we can to keep Britain moving during this bad weather”. It is not only public transport that has been affected by the freeze, as the main roads in and out of Norwich turned into areas of huge risk after the initial snowfall turned to sheet ice. As Norwich has no motorway link, it has to rely on its two largest dual carriageways, the A11 and A12, to bear the
Pippa Artus The UEA campus was covered in a blanket of snow this week
brunt of the traffic. Drivers will have to take extra caution in these conditions as steering and braking distances will be severely impaired. The freak snow is not all
bad news, however, as the younger generation will have been particularly happy with the news that schools all over East Anglia were closed due to the adverse weather.
support free education in an ideal world, there are “positive” elements in the fees package, citing a “progressive payback system” for the loans and the wider availability of loans for part-time students. He also claimed that the Liberal Democrats helped to enforce a potential cap on fees, which would prevent universities from charging what they want. The rest of the debate focused on discussing alternatives to a rise in tuition fees. All of the speakers applauded the passion displayed by students, claiming that apathy was a thing of the past and that they should continue to lobby politicians to get their voices heard. Towards the end of the debate, the Student Union President of Norwich University College of the Arts (NUCA), Polly Wilson,
highlighted the fact that NUCA will lose all of its funding in the wake of government spending cuts. Speaking after Wright’s announcement, Communications Officer of the Union of UEA Students, Tom Dolton, said: “We are really pleased that Simon Wright has said that he will vote against a rise in tuition fees. It is reassuring that the actions the student unions across Norwich have taken have confirmed Simon’s status as representing his constituents”. The Union of UEA Students is running coaches to London on Thursday 9th to join the NUS in their second national protest. There will also be a demonstration on campus on Tuesday 7th December, starting in The Square at 12pm.
WRIGHT GETS IT RIGHT
Continued from front page
Wright also made it clear that while he would
ISSUE 249
Tuesday 7th December
1,000 MARCH IN NORWICH
Danny Collins
On Saturday December 4th in the freezing cold winds of Chapelfield Gardens, hundreds gathered in order to demonstrate against the cuts proposed by the coalition earlier this year. This event took place after a mass write-in by the organisers to all Norfolk MP’s over what are widely considered to be unacceptable budget cuts. Organised by Norfolk Coalition Against the Cuts, the protest began in Chapelfield Gardens with speeches from various figures affected by the cuts, including Liam McCafferty, a nonportfolio officer for the Union of UEA Students, crying out for protection for the vulnerable. The demonstrators then took to the streets of Norwich. More man power was added, bringing the marchers up to a total of around 1,000 people. The protest is said to be the largest march of its kind since demonstrators took to the streets in the 1990s to campaign for the closure of the Nestle factory in Norwich. The rally follows the predominantly student-led activity against the planned cuts which began with the NUS-organised march in London on November, 11th, covered in the last issue of Concrete. However, the march on Saturday attracted more than just students protesting against the proposed changes to university fees. Chapelfield Gardens was not only full of university students, but also workers, school and college students and those protesting for the rights of the vulnerable. This march brought together the cause of students and nonstudents alike, and therefore had a far weightier atmosphere than was experienced in the November 11th marches. With another march planned on the 6th at City College, the campaigns are gathering momentum. Lizzie Margereson
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UEA OCCUPIED Editor
Lizzie Margereson
NEWS
www.concrete-online.co.uk
UEA was the latest campus to experience a student occupation last Thursday as a group of 13 protesters occupied the Council House building for 12 hours. A female security guard was taken to hospital after sustaining bruising and grazes when knocked to the ground as the protesters entered the building. Following their entry, the group proceeded to chain the front doors of the building and hang banners on the windows and doors. Council House is currently undergoing renovation work, and with the toilets facilities subsequently out of order, the protesters ended their protest at 8pm. As a result of the occupation, several meetings between university bodies had to be relocated to other buildings on campus. The protest, which was in reaction to NUS President Aaron Porter’s stance on non-violent
student protest, coincided with the attendance of Mr Porter and Norwich South MP Simon Wright at the Big Fees Debate in Lecture Theatre 1. Despite a request from the protesters for Mr Porter to enter the occupation and discuss their grievances, the head of NUS was unable attend due to time constraints. The UEA occupation is the latest in a series of protests held by students across the country. Earlier last week, Oxford students occupied the landmark Bodleian Library, and further occupations took place at universities including Manchester, Edinburgh and London. Elsewhere, the University of Sheffield have obtained a High Court injunction to remove students from a lecture theatre that has been occupied since last Tuesday. Speaking to Concrete, protester Matthew Taylor said: “When we entered the building, there were builders in the room. At first they threatened to cut our D-locks. We managed to talk them around and they left amicably through the fire
The occupiers took over Council House on Thursday morning
door. We later lost Council Chamber to security.” He continued: “We haven’t issued any demands. To an extent this is just a publicity stunt”. Annie Ogden, Head of Communications, said of the protest: “The University understands that many students will have strong views about the likelihood of
changes to fees and to the funding structure, and acknowledges their right to peaceful protest, as long as it does not disrupt the rights of others who wish to get on with their studies and work. “We are very concerned and disappointed that a member of our security staff was hurt when students entered the building.”
by the party for reneging on their party promises. The Lib Dems had previously stated that they opposed any increase of students fees, but now seem to be bowing to the Conservative majority in Parliament. Around 200 students protested outside Nick Clegg’s offices in Sheffield in the latest round of demonstrations. The President of the National Union of Students, Aaron Porter, described the anti-Lib Dem sentiment of the student
population: “The anger felt at this betrayal is real, justified, and desperately disappointing to those who placed in you their hope for a different politics”. Younger students, particularly those from further education colleges, also joined the marches in protest at the abolition of Education Maintenance Allowance, or EMA. As well as this, these younger students are those who will be hit first by the rise in tuition fees.
DEMONSTRATIONS CONTINUE James Hughes
News Reporter
Enraged students continued nationwide protests, culminating in 153 arrests made in yet another demonstration, turned riot, in Central London. The riot, which once again incurred thousands of pounds of criminal damage, was directed at the government’s well-documented proposal to increase tuition fees to a cap of up to £9000. Police once again attempted to utilise the controversial ‘kettling’ action, but were thwarted as demonstrators countered this force by running from the police through the streets of London. Kettling is the act of surrounding a group to contain it in one area. A 19-year-old student told the BBC that their strategy was to avoid being contained by police: “Whenever the police block us off, we turn round and go the other way”. This provokes questions into the methods used by the police whilst dealing with large crowds. The student added: “We also do not want to be panicked into violence. Smashing up windows
was necessary in the beginning to get the demonstrations on the front pages, but now any violence would be counter-productive.” The protest ended in a stand-off with police as activists gathered in Trafalgar Square. The arrests included 139 for breach of the peace and seven for violent disorder. The effect of the demonstrations has now brought the government vote into disarray, with senior Cabinet ministers unsure of how to vote over the proposals. How this action may be viewed by the public remains a point of contention. The outrage of the student public has no doubt been felt at Whitehall, but to bow to pressures of violent reaction could be seen a potential weakness in this coalition government. Protests were not restricted to the nation’s capital, with sit-in protests held in Leeds, Edinburgh, Liverpool, Belfast, Brighton, Manchester and Bristol. A further 30 protesters occupied the city council’s offices in Birmingham. The brunt of this latest demonstration has been focused mainly towards Liberal Democrats, as many students feel betrayed
A demonstration in Leeds was met with a large police presence
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NEWS
ISSUE 249
www.concrete-online.co.uk
UNION NEWSPAPER BOYCOTT The Union of UEA Students recently voted to remove certain newspapers from the shelves of the Union Paper Shop, due to concerns about the handling and reporting of the violence at Millbank. The motion came about after some students complained that the three newspapers in question – The Daily Mail, Daily Telegraph and Daily Express – had gone on something of an “inaccurate witchhunt” to identify the students that were involved in the ugly scenes on November 10th. A campaigner in the move to boycott the newspapers was Matthew Taylor, a 3rd year PSI student. He said: “What we are not doing is restricting anyone’s free speech; we don’t have the power or the inclination to do that. All we are doing is refusing to take part in the persecution of students by the newspapers in question. As long as students are under attack, we don’t feel there is any obligation to fund these publications.” Although the newspapers have been removed from the shelves, copies can be purchased by asking a member of staff. The Union commented that the newspapers “could not be boycotted in their entirety because the Union Paper Shop has its papers ordered through a contract which stipulates that all papers must be purchased together as a package deal. As such, were we not to stock the Mail, Telegraph and Express, we would get none at all.” The vote itself was narrowly passed in Union Council, with 32 votes in favour and 29 against. James Schofield
WILBERFORCE SEXUAL ASSAULT Police are appealing for a good samaritan who disturbed a sexual assault to come forward. A male jogger interrupted a young male who was sexually assaulting a 19-year-old girl walking along Wilberforce Road towards the Rockingham Road junction. The suspect is described as being 16 to 19 years of age, 5’6’’ tall, of slim build and wearing a jacket with bright yellow/high visibility patches on. The police are keen to speak to the jogger or anyone who may have witnessed the incident. Contact Det Sgt Gary Dack at Norfolk Constabulary on 0845 456 4567 or Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111.
concrete.news@uea.ac.uk
UEA LECTURER FOUND GUILTY Tim Bates
News Reporter
UEA criminal law lecturer, Julian Myerscough, was last week found guilty by Ipswich Crown Court on three charges of making indecent photographs of children, and two charges of possessing indecent pictures of children after more than 1300 images and videos, some containing children as young as eight years old being sexually abused, were found on computers in his Lowestoft home. He was also found not guilty of a further thirteen counts of making indecent images of children, and two counts of possession of indecent images of children. Mr Myerscough still denies all charges, and said outside of the court: “I fully intend to appeal. I am angry and baffled by the accusations against me”. Speaking after the verdict, Detective Inspector Terry Jones said: “Despite denying knowledge of the indecent images of children, he failed to give a plausible
explanation for why they were on his computer or how they had been looked at between subjects he would have been interested in”. He went on to say: “Viewing these images is far from a victimless crime. The fact that there are those who would look at them creates a market for the abuse of children and anyone who does use such sites can expect to be traced and prosecuted regardless of their profession or social standing. Today’s verdict has come as a result of the investigating officers’ work to ensure sufficient evidence was gathered to secure his conviction.” Judge John Devaux granted Mr Myerscough conditional bail prior to his sentencing, which is due to take place sometime after December 13th. He also told him he could not give any indication of the type of sentence to expect. UEA spokesperson Anne Ogden said that the University was “implementing appropriate internal procedures following the outcome of the case”.
UEA criminal law lecturer, Julian Myerscough
ANNUAL BUDGET REVEALS £116K “EXCEPTIONAL EXPENDITURE”
Davina Kesby
News Editor
The presentation of the accounts to Union Council on Thursday 25th November revealed an “exceptional expenditure” in excess of £116,000. The sum relates to the cessation of a member of staff’s employment and reaches a total of £116,435. Rob Bloomer, Finance Officer of the Union of UEA Students, said: “Staff at the Union are protected by the Staff Protocol - which means we can’t make comments relating to any individual member of staff. This is so that staff, who can’t take part in the Union’s democratic processes, are not exposed to criticism that they can’t reply to. Due to this, the Union can’t comment any further than what is included in the budget”. The budget for the forthcoming year was also presented to Council, which includes an expected decrease in turnover from Union services. This is owing to a projected decline in ‘wet
trade’, in line with the rest of the country. The grant budgets for clubs and societies were also revealed. Club grants have increased from £14,639 to £21,000. An extra £5,000 has also been included in the budget in line with the “Focus Sports Policy” passed at the last Union Council. Society grants
appear to have decreased from an actual figure in 2009/10 of £5,612 to a budgeted figure of £5,000. An increase in staff costs has also been included in the budget, to cover the cost of a new Membership Services Manager. The Union also hopes to employ another advice worker for the student support services, specifically the advice
centre. The commercial income of the Union topped nine and a half million pounds last year. This money, along with other sources of income, goes back into student representation, welfare and student support, clubs, societies and peer support groups and communications.
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ISSUE 249 concrete.news@uea.ac.uk
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GOLDEN TRIANGLE HIT BY SPATE OF VANDALISM There has been a rise in the number of cases of vandalism in the past month in the South Norwich area. One incident took place on Mill Hill Road, between 2am and 7am on Thursday 25 November, when the windows of several vehicles were broken. A separate incident took place on The Avenues between 1:30am and 8:30am. In this case, a Suzuki Swift was damaged, with one of the wing mirrors being torn off. The recent rise in criminal damage is thought to have been caused by students returning from a night out at the LCR or the city centre. There has been an increase in activity over past weeks in the Golden Triangle area, with Park Lane specifically seeing an increase in activity. The Norfolk Constabulary are appealing for information. Anyone with information are asked to contact PC Ian Betts 0845 456 4567 or Crimestoppers anonymously on 0800555111. Joshua Resoun
UEA SCIENTISTS DISCOVER BIODIVERSITY HOTSPOT Becky Hazlewood
News Reporter
Scientists from the UEA Environmental Science School have discovered a new biodiversity hotspot in Norfolk. UEA worked with a number of partners, including Natural England, in the £28,000 research project which has found Breckland to hold a staggering 28% of the UK’s rare species. A mere 19 miles away from UEA, Breckland could soon become the focus of conservation efforts in the UK. Lecturer in ENV, Dr Paul Dolman, led the project, along with researchers Hannah Mossman and Chris Panter. The team carried out the long and laborious process of bringing together over 830,500 records, ranging from Norfolk county records to the records of individuals to find out what the biodiversity of Breckland was.
A study of this scale had never been attempted anywhere before, and the scientists were shocked by the results. The biodiversity of the area was not what people thought it was. Conservationists knew the area was important for ‘Breckland’ specialities, but no one had ever looked into exactly how many of these specialities there were. The research has discovered Breckland to be key for about 180 regional specialities and important for more than 1500 other national rarities which were not previously recognised. If regional speciality species are not conserved in Breckland, then they will risk being lost from the U.K. “Although much of what conservation has achieved is excellent, new approaches are urgently needed or we risk many of these species drifting towards extinction,” said Dr Paul Dolman. So what is it that makes Breckland so special? One factor is its unusual
The edge of Thetford Forest, the largest lowland woodland habitat in the UK
continental climate, which means it sometimes experiences frosts in the summer. It also has Thetford Forest, the largest lowland woodland habitat in the UK, as well as a range of other habitat types including grazed heathland, pine forests and wetlands. It also features the UK’s only inland sand dunes. This is quite a staggering variety, seeing as Breckland accounts for only 0.4% of the UK’s area. Surprisingly, it is actually the way Breckland has been cultivated by
humans which is now crucial to the survival of many rare species. The area was one of the first in the UK to be farmed, and species now rely on the fields being ploughed and grazed. The information from the study will help shape the future conservation efforts for the area. However, at present, only 40% of Breckland is protected. Saving species will involve working with landowners and farmers to ensure habitats are managed effectively for conservation.
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INTERNATIONAL
ISSUE 249 concrete.international@uea.ac.uk
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What can you do this winter?
The toils of this Autumn semester have almost come to an end and you will soon be rewarded with four weeks of Christmas holiday. Stuck with what to do? Concrete has a few useful ideas... Rachael Lum International Writer
With the winter break arriving, international students have to decide on their plans for those four weeks. Some would have booked their flight tickets by now, eager to return home to celebrate Christmas and New Years with their family and friends. Some might be travelling to other countries. Then there are those who remain in the UK for the holidays. If you fall into the last category, here are several things you could do to make that month bearable.
them on whether they are willing to show you around the town. Train tickets should be booked early for cheaper rates.
2. Explore the city centre
There is much to explore in the city centre as well. Apart from the various theatres, museums and shopping areas, the festivals and holiday-themed events such as the many Christmas markets, should get you into a gleeful mood.
3. Misery loves company
Whether a home student or another international student, it would be a good idea to discuss with
There are always students who are stay around Norwich during the holidays. By looking out for friends who do not intend to go travelling, you can ensure that you are in the company of people with similar circumstances. For one, organising
from the frozen Arctic to the tip of Africa, the continent is now more united that ever and a single currency is now used in the majority of European states. This can make travelling between countries incredibly simple. However, the similarities between the different European countries end at the currency. Indeed, each
boasts unique cultural values and traditions developed over centuries, and a traveller would be hard pressed to find such an extensive array in an area so close together anywhere else in the world. The best way to absorb as much as possible and zip through a number of destinations would be to pack light, travel with a backpack
1. Pay a visit to a friend
potluck dinners would bring all of you together.
4. Spice up your CV
The visa specification limits international students to twenty hours of work a week during term time. The number of hours a week is doubled when there is a term break. This is a great way to earn some extra allowance and allow your CV to grow. Also, depending on what charitable organisations you get involved in, you can devote your time to making others happy this winter. Whatever it is that you eventually choose to do this festive season, the most important thing is to not lock yourself up in your room, all by yourself and in self-pity. Holidays, after all, are never meant to be spent alone.
Touring Europe: A guide for international students Isabelle Carty International Writer
It could hardly have escaped any student’s notice that the Christmas holidays are rapidly approaching. Some may have plans to return home and others may have made new homes for themselves here in Norwich, but for those who are uncertain about what to do over the month-long break, travelling around Europe would be one exciting way to pass the time. The continent boasts many unique treasures, ranging from historical and cultural landmarks to seasonal festivals and an extraordinary heritage, so there is sure to be something for everyone. Many are drawn to certain countries for their history, where a fusion of both the ancient and the modern worlds is clearly evident. Why not ride a Vespa (scooter) though the streets of Italy to visit the beginnings of true competition at the Colosseum in Rome, regale at the appeasing renaissance buildings and art of Florence or be charmed by the romantic canals of Venice? If history is what appeals to you, you would be remiss not to pass though Paris to catch a glimpse of the city in its Napoleonic grandeur.
Though Europe certainly revels in its extraordinary heritage, it is not limited to it. For travellers less interested in history, there is an array of attractions and activities that all contribute to making Europe a must-see destination. Fine cuisine and exclusive shopping are two particularly alluring options for the modern tourist; with Italian dishes, French pastries and French and Italian couture being rated as some of the best in the world.
“Why not ride a Vespa (scooter) though the streets of Italy to visit the beginnings of true competition at the Colosseum in Rome”
In addition, the continent is also known for its glorious scenery; from Norway’s northern lights to the volcanic dramatics of Iceland to the breathtaking Alps in France, Switzerland and Italy. However, if lounging on a beach is more your speed, beaches are readily available on France’s Côte d’Azur, Spain’s Costa Brava or Portugal’s Algarve and of course on the gem-like islands of Greece and Croatia. Though Europe stretches
and stay in hostels or cheap hotels wherever possible. This may take a little planning but the result would ultimately be very rewarding. With over 45 extraordinary destinations to choose from, each offering a host of exciting sights, sounds and tastes for any visitor to experience, the only problem should be figuring out where to start!
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concrete.news@uea.ac.uk
10 COMMENT AND OPINION
ISSUE 249
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concrete.opinion@uea.ac.uk
The media, the myth, the marketing In a week dominated by news headlines about Wikileaks and Sarah Palin gaffs, Concrete questions the role of the media in modern day Britain, and asks how far our democratic press can go in efforts to inform the electorate.
Jack Brinded
David Cameron is ‘a lightweight’, Prince Andrew is rude, Argentina’s president is considered mentally unstable, and Colonel Gaddafi has a blonde mistress. These fascinating tit-bits of ‘intelligence’ are not gleaned from the latest edition of Hello magazine, but are in-fact some of the ‘major’ points from the latest Wikileaks scandal deemed worthy of scrutiny by our print-media. Relegated to the middle-pages of the papers meanwhile, were the less severe stories: those of kidnapping, torture and abuse. Hilary Clinton described the leaks as “an attack on the international community, the alliances and partnerships, and the conventions and negotiations that safeguard global security”. Of course, what she really meant by ‘global security’ is the security of her government, and those like it across the world, as publishing inconvenient truths about an
executive can often lead to its downfall. So far the U.S. Secretary of State has had little to justify her fears, however. The analysis of the leaked material, which governments were worried would lead to a security crises, has for the most part been limp, toothless and utterly vapid. It has been a complete waste of an opportunity of our ‘free-press’ to question international policy and to hold governments to account. So where did it all go so wrong? What happened to investigative journalism and brutal presscritiques? The essential element required for a functioning democracy is an informed electorate, and the necessary conditions for this are a constant and reliable stream of information relevant to important topics. A free press is required to provide this. Unfortunately, to the contrary of what David Cameron suggested repetitively last week, we do not have a free press, we have a press confined to operate in a certain way due to basic economics. A large portion of any newspaper’s income comes from
advertising, and so even without a billionaire media baron dictating the direction a newspaper’s content takes, the print-media is ultimately restricted in what it can print by each paper’s quest for survival within the market. Unfortunately we live in a world where profit takes priority; something’s importance is sadly determined by what advertising revenue it will generate. In order to attract certain advertisers, a paper cannot take too prominent a critical stance on the established order, for the fear of upsetting market-forces (often dependent on government protection) which ultimately it relies on to afford to publish. From observing the front-pages of the dailies since the documents were released, it would seem to the casual observer that all that occurred was some mild bitchiness, as diplomats and leaders gossiped about their foreign counterparts in a manner similar to that of guests at a dinner party, who might go home and make comments like “My, hasn’t she put on weight?” Is this really informing the electorate, and if not, to what extent is our apparent democracy a sham?
Wikileaks and the plight of the hacktivists
So, what problems does Wikileaks pose for governments around the globe? Should the website be treated as a ‘foreign terrorist organization’? Concrete weighs up the evidence...
Jess
Collett
Wikileaks, a whistle-blowing website, and five major newspapers, including The Guardian and The New York Times, this week released 291 documents that detailed correspondence between the U.S. government and American embassies across the globe. The cache of confidential documents (251,287, which are planned to be released over several months) date from 1966 to the
present day. They result in a unique insight, with unguarded comments on tensions in the Middle East, efforts and resistance against nuclear disarmament, actions in the war on terror, assessments of other threats around the world and U.S. intelligence and counter intelligence. Naturally, most governments around the world have declared this to be absolutely deplorable and putting both lives and national security at risk. The American government even wanted to declare Wikileaks a ‘foreign terrorist organization’ so that they could seize their assets.
Sarah Palin, for one, declared the leaks as comparable to an act of war. Which begs the question: really? Really?
“Most of the information is the mundane reality of a diplomat’s life”
Let us examine the facts: none of the information that has been released was top secret. That’s right. None of the documents which are apparently oh-so vital to national security, upon which people’s lives depend, were top secret.
130,000 of the documents were unclassified. They were accessible to three million people through The Department of Defense’s private internet. Anyone could have logged on and shared this information with the world. Most of the information is the mundane reality of a diplomat’s life, and the only things that are sensational are the reactions and the frankness of what the documents contain. From the reaction you would have been right to believe that Wikileaks had revealed Bush’s ultra-secret information-gathering technique of illegal torture… oh, wait, he already did that himself!
Of course, this makes people question that buzz topic of the 9/11 world: freedom of speech. Did Wikileaks have the right to release confidential information that wasn’t especially secret or particularly world changing? We already knew the Americans fear terrorists. We already knew Cameron was a ‘child of Thatcher’. We already knew that there are dodgy members of the British royal family. Essentially, it boils down to: did this put any lives in danger? Or is this just an example of people overreacting to something that’ll blow over and be forgotten about in a month?
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COMMENT AND OPINION 11
Can Simon’s vote change much? Last week the news came in that everyone hoped for but no one believed would happen: Simon Wright, MP for Norwich South, has agreed to vote against a rise in tuition fees. The question does need to be asked though: how many other Liberal Democrat MPs will follow suit? We know Bob Russell, MP for Colchester, and Julian Huppert, MP for Cambridge are both going to vote against the rise. Norman Lamb, MP for North Norfolk, on the other hand, will be voting in favour. Vince Cable, he who we all optimistically believed would be the saving grace of the economic depression, has yet to decide whether or not he will abstain from the vote on Thursday. Could it be that Bob, Julian and Simon are only being allowed to do this because it is unlikely to change anything? The 305 Conservative MPs will most likely vote in favour of the rises which will see students paying much more for much, much less. Hopefully there will be more Simon Wrights who see the joke of a room, mostly full of people who did not pay for their university education, condemning future students to life changing levels of debt. Emma Parrott
Cartoon by Amanda Gosling. Written by Sean Henry
Tequila shots and working lots?
Ever feel like you spend more time in the LCR than the library? Do you know every rule to ring of fire, but have no idea when your next deadline is? Concrete questions whether student drinking is just the expected right of passage, or has it gone too far? Barbara Orth
A bunch of new people for the first time away from home, starting a new phase of their life – of course Freshers’ Week is a massive party. But here we are, almost at the end of term, and the party continues, marginally disturbed by a few nasty deadlines or tests – and I have a feeling it will never end. People get trashed any day of the week, not just on weekend,
while still being able to get on with the laid-back coursework of the first year. Marks don’t really count, people are not challenged and so no one (with the obvious exceptions) takes it seriously. People can easily neglect their coursework and party instead without any consequences. Even most activities of sports clubs and societies revolve around drinking – pub crawls, dinners and clubbing etc. What I don’t get is why people are so eager to not remember conversations they have had with other members of their society the next day. Sometimes I wonder if parties are the only
reason why people are here.
“take a gap year – go wild, go crazy, have fun. But then start university and get a bit more serious with it.”
Maybe the Conservatives are right in thinking people would take it more seriously if they had to pay more in tuition fees. Yes, GCSEs, followed straight
by A-levels is hard work, and yes, we all deserve a break. That is fair enough. So take a gap year – go wild, go crazy, have fun. But then start university and get a bit more serious with it. School is compulsory, but university isn’t. We should be here because we are passionate about a subject or because we are mature enough to understand that a degree will get you further than A Levels. This is university not kindergarten and if you are not adult enough to prioritize learning, then maybe university is not for you. So get on with it.
NEED TO HAVE A RANT ABOUT SOMETHING? CONTACT CONCRETE.OPINION@UEA.AC.UK AND WE’LL GET YOUR VOICE HEARD
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FEATURES
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FEATURES 13
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concrete.features@uea.ac.uk
The student rights edition Do over-zealous ID checks penalise thousands of innocent customers and infringe on our Tash Gaunt considers the pros and cons of work experience and asks whether the recession is forcing students to work for free? civil liberties? Zoe Tibbles and Larry Ali explore the surrounding debates.
I
D checks are considered to be an effective way of deterring minors from drinking and preventing access to buying alcohol. Underage drinking is against the law and the coalition government has aimed to increase the penalty to as much as £20,000 to establishments which are serving drink to those who are under the age of 18. All British citizens have to show some form of identification when purchasing alcohol whether it is a passport or a driver’s licence. The concept is comprehensible, however, is it really effective and should every age group be targeted? There have been an increasing number of reports recently stating
“There is little point in the government abolishing ID cards while backing policies that mean we have to show ID whenever we go shopping”.
that ID checks performed in supermarkets and off licences have become so far-reaching that now underage children accompanying an adult purchasing alcohol must also present valid ID. To many parents this is hugely insulting when cashiers assume they would be irresponsible enough to ply a child with alcohol, and this has led to an increasing number of cashiercustomer disputes and customer complaints in several of the larger supermarket chains. According to an article featured in The Guardian, the likelihood of adults being asked to provide
ID during a routine trip to the supermarket is ‘infantilising’ older adults, who are embarrassed in front of their companions and peers when asked to provide ID in their late 20s and early 30s. A study carried out by civil liberties group Manifesto Club also found that campaigns under the slogans of ‘Think 21’ and ‘Think 25’ have led to great confusion about the drinking age and in some cases people over the age of 18 have been refused alcohol by checkout staff. Its director, Josie Appleton, said: “Producing your passport should not be a routine part of the checkout procedure. There is little point in the government abolishing ID cards while backing policies that mean we have to show ID whenever we go shopping.” This embarrassment also applies to the teetotal contingent of society, who when visiting a supermarket or off licence with friends who consume alcohol are routinely asked to provide ID. For an adult who has made the conscious decision not to drink, the idea of taking a form of ID to the supermarket is completely alien and often forgotten. A few years ago, it would be fair to say that the idea of every member of a group being asked to provide ID in order to buy alcohol or cigarettes was almost completely unheard of.
Those in favour of ID checks would argue that constant checks on those aged 18 and above should be more rigorously carried out, however, this is not going to stop alcohol consumption, or for that matter underage drinking. This is a primordial example that, although we claim to live in a liberal society, it could be said the act of asking for ID is more authoritarian. If we look to other Liberal Democratic societies, including France, Spain and Germany, these countries carry out very limited ID checks and yet have a reduced rate of underage drinking. Why then is the UK so committed to performing such thorough checks? Of course, ID checks not only apply to purchasing alcohol, cigarettes or other age-restricted items such as DVDs, glue, medication and cleaning supplies, but are also a monotonous part of an otherwise enjoyable night for many young adults. When entering a club or bar, ID checks are performed scrupulously. Many people are asked when handing over their driving license, for example, to provide their postcode, full address, date of birth and middle name to an intimidating bouncer on the street in full view of other club-goers. Both men and women who choose to wear their hair in a style with a fringe are often asked to hold this up so that bouncers can get a full view of their face. This relentless questioning is often feared and dreaded, even by those who present a valid form of ID to bouncers. It is also a huge inconvenience to have to carry ID with you at all times. Take passports for example.
For many people this is their only form of identification, and if this was to be lost on a night out it could lead to others accessing your personal information. Not the mention the stress this would cause, having to apply for a replacement, leaving you without ID for around three months. Perhaps then the ideal solution would be to allow the use of NUS or university campus cards as sufficient ID that is far cheaper and a lot less precious. Additionally, in larger clubs and bars across the UK, the photo on a person’s ID is scanned and posted on a digital screen, in order to better aid the staff should any criminal activity take place. However, this not only provides staff with an idea of who is inside the club or bar, but also passers-by, as these screens are usually displayed at the entrance. Does providing your name, location and photograph to strangers not go beyond the role of ID checks? When is it that we stop being treated as customers and start being treated as criminals?
Manifesto Club found that many people in their late 20s said they have been checked more over the past two years than when they were 18.
A
s students we are forever being told we need something that makes us stand out in the job market. With more people graduating each year and the number of graduate jobs in the current economy decreasing, competition is certainly fierce. But help is at hand: cue the internship. This may just be the answer to all our troubles and instantly make us more employable, but when we look a little closer we begin to question when a great opportunity turns into exploitation? Students considering an internship may envisage spending a month or two getting stuck into
tasks and experiencing what their everyday life could be like after university. However, the types of menial jobs interns are asked to do, although maybe one step up from making tea, still remain at the less desirable end of the spectrum. Dom Potter, the Director of Internocracy, an organisation that aims to raise the quality of UK internships, states that “we now have entire industries that rely on the willingness of young people to work for free.” Entire sectors, particularly journalism, have come to depend on unpaid interns to act as voluntary dogsbodies. Instead of working to further inspire undergraduates to join their sector, in some cases, this type of mundane experience of the workplace can actually be offputting for students. Moreover, some companies appear to be using students and interns as free labour to avoid hiring more staff. The Chartered Institute of Personal Development (CIPD) estimated that more than one in five employers planned on hiring interns between April and September of this year, a distinct increase on previous years, proving that one way companies are digging their way out of recession is to cut staff in favour of unpaid interns. Of course, there are advantages to this type of work experience; students are afforded the
opportunity to gain experience and skills, as well as an understanding of how a given company works. The mantra we have drummed into our brains throughout our education is that we need as many achievements as possible to put on our CVs, and work experience does look good to prospective employers. Speaking about her own internship experience, student Charlotte Pugh said: “Working unpaid for various companies allows you to build a portfolio, exchange numbers, and if you’re lucky it could be the start of your career.” Indeed, it does no harm to build contacts, and you never know if you impress an employer during work experience this could open doors for the future. If you were wondering quite how much the undertaking of work experience can help you in the modern day job market, the 2010 Learning and Talent Development Survey found that 76% of
The 2010 Learning and Talent Development Survey found that 76% of respondents saw internships as a way of testing potential new staff.
respondents saw internships as a way of testing potential new staff. Work experience could therefore be seen as a kind of informal interview process and very beneficial to those who have had access to this opportunity. So there seems to be no argument that the idea of work experience is a bad one, the issue lies with the organisation of it in this country, and the seemingly grey areas concerning the laws surrounding it. The biggest of those concerns
is the lack of pay. As you may well know, the majority of internships and work experience placements are unpaid, something that can be a contributing factor to putting students off undertaking one. The reality of giving up time during your holidays when you could be undertaking paid employment is a bitter pill to swallow. The Institute for Public Policy Research in fact claims that most interns are entitled to minimum wage, as they fall under the definition of being a ‘worker’. The Department for Business Innovation and Skills decrees that “if an intern is contributing to an organisation, if they have a list of duties and if they are working set hours” then they should be paid the National Minimum Wage. This makes sense, as often an intern’s contributions are very valuable. However, companies manage to avoid this by affirming that their interns are actually volunteers, which by law can remain unpaid. It has been suggested that all companies offering work experience should pay their interns a minimum ‘training wage’ of £2.50, the same as that received by apprentices. However, this would undoubtedly reduce the number of placements, as businesses would not be able to afford to take on as many interns. Also, the culture of the internship seems rather exclusive, with the majority of placements
“Companies are digging their way out of recession by cutting staff in favour of unpaid interns.”
existing in London. Travel expenses are often not covered by companies and this may deter many people. Work experience in this regard could create greater inequality within the jobs market. So we can conclude that, whilst long hours combined with expensive travel costs and days spent doing the coffee run isn’t exactly appealing, in this economic climate work experience is proving to be more vital than ever to increasing our employability prospects. Unfortunately, as long as there are students out there willing to work for free, businesses are going to continue taking advantage of them.
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Q&A with Norwich Famous Faces
An ideal dinner party hosted by novelist Rose Tremain would see Pepys, Coleridge and Dickens as guests, as Alex Ross found out when he spoke to her before her performance at the Literary Festival.
Andrea Lestrange Returning to campus for first time in three years, it’s clear that Whitbread Award winning novelist Rose Tremain feels at home amongst the concrete, having spent ten years as both a student and lecturer at UEA. Braving the cold to speak to Concrete before her appearance
at the Literary Festival, Tremain is eloquent, polite and talkative and more than happy to explain her reasons for choosing UEA in 1964 as one of the first students on the now renowned Creative Writing masters course, something she describes as “incredibly exciting… all of a sudden the idea of the
Lying on a rug in my grandparents’ garden and seeing birds flying back and forth.
Three people (dead or alive) I would invite to dinner: Three of Britain’s greatest-ever talkers and raconteurs: Pepys, Coleridge and Dickens.
1) Earliest memory:
2) In another life I’d be: 29 again.
3)
The best thing about university was: Meeting real, living writers, Angus Wilson and Malcolm Bradbury.
4)
The worst thing about university was: Trying to commute to Norwich from Paris, where my exotic Corsican artist boyfriend lived.
5) Favourite book:
Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina.
6) Favourite film: Tootsie
7) Most important lesson life has taught me so far: The importance of empathy.
8)
9) Most treasured possession: My house.
10) If I could pass a new law
tomorrow it would be: An end to catastrophic Papal rulings on birth control.
11) Guilty pleasure: Champagne cocktails.
12)
Of all the places I have been in my life I would recommend: Paris.
13)
To a fancy dress party I would go as: An ageing Cleopatra.
14) Proudest moment:
university experience was not like it was before at Oxford and Cambridge; it was something completely different.” In a career that has taken in a James Tait Black Memorial Prize, a Prix Femina Etrange, an Orange Prize for fiction and two offers to judge the Booker Prize as well When my daughter, Eleanor was born.
15) Greatest fear:
The loss of those I love.
16) Overrated public figure: Baroness Warsi.
17)
My most overused word or phrase is: “It seems to me…”
18) In the year 2050 I expect or hope to find: A cleaned-up planet.
19)
Thing I like most about Norwich is: Its familiarity.
20) To a UEA student I would
say: Burn effigies of the late Denys Lasdun for giving you such miserable buildings.
as the Whitbread Award for best novel, Tremain can boast countless accolades. But her career has not been without crises of faith. After returning to UEA to lecture on the course that she herself had graduated from, Tremain “became very censorious of the ideas that my mind threw up – ‘that’s not funny enough, that’s not serious enough’. But if you keep doing that you end up just not writing anything. And I really thought a lot about that, it troubled me.” Tremain doesn’t devalue the impact that her students had on her, though in what she says was a “true dialogue”, she concedes that her natural instincts are that of a novelist and not a lecturer. Since the success of her 1989 novel Restoration, later adapted into a movie with Robert Downey Jr. and Hugh Grant, almost everything Tremain has touched has turned to gold, with her historical novel Music and Silence, as well as more recent contemporary novels such as The Colour, garnering critical and commercial success.
Such accomplishment has given her plenty of food for thought on the modern literary market, and despite having seen a number of well-regarded authors come through her class at UEA (among them bestselling novelist Tracy Chevalier and literary editor of The Times Erica Wagner), Tremain is skeptical of the prospects for young writers today and the attitude of publishers towards them. She said: “They are likely to be dropped after two or three books that aren’t commercially successful… I started writing in the 1970s and none of my books had any real success until Restoration and that was my fifth book. If I’d been writing in today’s climate, I’d have been dropped.” So why, with things so difficult, should the young writer embark on a university degree at all? Suddenly, Tremain is a lecturer again – “The dreaming side of your mind can forget things… and the dreaming side of your mind knows absolutely nothing… you need a knowing side.”
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UEA joins with Shanghai university to fight climate change Rebecca Hazlewood
Turf Reporter
UEA is entering into a partnership with Fudan University in Shanghai, where a new hub of the Tyndall Centre for Climate Change research will be established. The importance of the partnership was highlighted by the Prime Minister at the recent UKChina summit. The Tyndall Centre carries out research into sustainable options for climate change, it is lead by UEA, but there are centres in other areas of the country, at the Universities of Manchester, Oxford, Sussex, Newcastle, Southampton and Cambridge. The Tyndall Centre has established world recognition for its research, which provides an evidence base for international policy making. Fudan University has an outstanding reputation, and rates as one of the top three universities in China. UEA is rated third in the world for its environmental science publications over the last ten years. Bringing together the strength of the two universities is expected to be an important step in finding answers to the challenges of climate change. The institutions will carry
out research on reducing emissions in all sectors of the economy and how to adapt people and places to the impacts of climate change. China is the world’s second largest economy, with high levels of activity in science and technology. Future research carried out in China is likely to become a major global force in many disciplines. The investment China is putting into the collaboration is “the clearest indication of how seriously the country is taking climate change”, according to pro vice-Chancellor, Professor Trevor Davies, who will be the director of strategy for the Shanghai Tyndall Centre. He continues: “Together, developing this approach in China is of world significance to international research.” UEA will be using its expertise in low carbon buildings to help Fudan build its new Tyndall Centre, following the award winning success of the Zuckermann Institute Building in 2005, which was winner of the first ever Low Carbon Building Award. Many other benefits are expected to come of the partnership, including research exchanges, joint appointments, PhD and MSc training.
The University of Fudan, with which UEA’s Environmental Science school recently forged links
Carbon Conversations: a chat that needs to be had?
UEA students attend a series of carbon-cutting workshops that encourage individuals to fight climate change in their daily lives Anna Tomson
Turf Editor
We all know what climate change is, and most of us vaguely know that it’s a bad thing. So we recycle our old cereal boxes and try to remember to switch off the light when we leave the room and then hope that the government is going to come up with some clever new scheme that will make all the doom and gloom go away. How many of us really believe that washing our clothes at 30C rather than 40C is actually going to make a difference in the world? But, as Gandhi so wisely put it: “we must be the change we want to see in the world”, which is why Carbon Conversations, a series of six workshops designed to help you make small changes to your
life which shrink your carbon footprint, is such a clever idea. In partnership with the Transition Town (TT) movement, a community development initiative which encourages the shift away from oil dependency, Carbon Conversations is an outreach project in which participants are encouraged to look at their own lives and the lifestyle changes they can make to reduce the amount of carbon they produce, both through small things like not overfilling the kettle, and big things like investing in solar panels. Although much of the program was useful and empowering (who knew draught-proofing your windows could be so fun!), the course is not student specific and there is a large focus on reducing the emissions of your house and
your car- things that the majority of students, who live in rented accommodation and do not own their own car, can do very little about.
“Much of the program was empowering but it still seems a largely middleclass movement”
But perhaps the biggest criticism is that the Transition Town movement, and by extension Carbon Conversations, still seems a largely middle-class movement. It is the middle classes who can afford to buy solar panels and
electric cars, who have the time to work on a community allotment and do their week’s shopping at their local grocers, butchers and bakers rather than heading to Morrisons, and who can afford to take the train rather than a short haul flight. And while there is a focus on the monetary incentives of reducing your footprint (if you heat less, your bill is obviously going to be smaller), the movement has not yet tapped into a wider social circle. As the impending doom of climate change creeps ever closer it’s clear that Carbon Conversations is definitely a chat that needs to be had; the question is, with whom?
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X marks a well plundered treasure trove A guide to Concrete looks at Simon Cowell’s musical and television sensation: The X Factor Kristina Stephens
Lifestyle writer
Reality TV is big business. Love it or hate it, the ongoing popularity of the X Factor franchise is undeniable. The ITV series is now in its seventh series, and still attracts millions of viewers week in, week out. Last week’s episode drew in a massive 13.6 million, a 45.5% share of the total TV audience. Despite its huge popularity, it has attracted heavy criticism from the outset. There are recurring allegations that Simon Cowell’s profit-driven antics and the excessive commercialism of the show detracts from its purpose of unearthing musical talent. It seems to pigeon-hole artists into the same old mundane, but ultimately commercially-viable mould, with the accompanying sob story.
Music is valued as a business, not an art; and perhaps artistic integrity is continually trumped by commercial monotony. There are questions over the degree of manipulation and exploitation involved in the process, and concern over the way the potential ‘stars’ are treated. Elton John has recently voiced his worries about the potential “psychological damage” faced by contestants on the program. The singer said the show treated contestants like “products”, expressing concern about the long-term prospects of stars like Alexandra Burke, who won in 2008. She was “genuinely talented”, he said, but should be encouraged to play live to “learn her trade”. If artists are not seen to have enough success within a fairly short period their contracts will not be extended, and the attention
Hasina Allen
and funding given is far from equal. While Leona Lewis has successfully broken America under Cowell’s careful mentoring, who remembers Steve Brookstein and Leon Jackson? Brookstein, 2004’s winner, has been particularly vocal about his disillusionment with the whole process, in the process of writing a tell-all book, entitled: X Factor Nightmares: The Manipulations. The Greed. The Deceptions. However, there are signs the public are not amused; disillusionment with the show’s command over the Christmas number one spot led to a successful Facebook campaign in 2009 to get Rage Against The Machine’s Killing in the Name there instead. The popularity of the clearly unconventional Wagner, who departed last week perhaps suggest some viewers intent on
jeopardizing the proceedings away from the inevitable outcome which will further line Simon Cowell’s pocket. UEA students definitely seem to have found some allegiance with the eccentric singer: 139 students currently ‘like’ ‘Wagner for UEA Grad Ball 2011’.
their Errin (UEA LARPers’ fantasy world) characters. Live Action Role Play allows gamers to abandon the day-to-day humdrum most ordinary students have to face, letting them put coursework and laundry to one side and instead replacing such mundane daily rituals with exhilarating battles, tribal disputes and epic quests for revenge, justice and honour. Enigmatic as it might be, the presence of LARPing on UEA’s campus is undeniably on the increase. The UEA GameSoc, open to students of all backgrounds and levels of experience, is quickly becoming a prominent feature of the usually quiet weekends on this
East Anglian campus. Next time you see the shadows of swordplay moving in the forest or see a skirmish taking place in The Square, reminisce back to your childhood games of cops and robbers. Remember the thrill and excitement of stepping into the shoes of a soldier in the trenches or policeman in hot pursuit. Live Action Role Play is a gateway into lost worlds of peril and danger, mystical dragons and mythical beasts. So, next time you see a man with a wooden sword or a woman holding a shield on The Street, step back and imagine the elaborate world in which they are participating.
Lifestyle writer
Students’ lifestyle labels: Live Action Role Players (Larp) Lifestyle explores a side of university life that is often overlooked but is, nevertheless, prominent Emma Williamson
Lifestyle writer
Once a week, an ancient presence takes over the University of East Anglia. It can be heard in the bellowing of warrior cries outside the Sainsbury Centre, seen in the glint of an imitation sword in the Sunday morning sunshine, or identified by the medieval dress codes of those participating. LARPing, otherwise known as Live Action Role-Playing, is a growing phenomenon at UEA, but its sweeping popularity is not just limited to our university campus. Although many see LARPing as an evolutionary form of childhood roleplay games, such as cowboys and indians and doctors and nurses, critics cite the 1970s as the dawn of the activity. The offset of fantasy gaming and films such as Dungeons and Dragons in the late
twentieth century sparked the initial growth of LARP, while the re-enactments and role-play that can be seen on our very campus today are all influenced by film, literature and video gaming. Many participants enjoy the freedom their alter-egos offer them. Normal undergraduates in Tuesday’s maths seminars may find
“LARPing on UEA’s campus is undeniably on the increase”
comfort in the role of a medieval warrior elf . Thursday’s philosophy lecture could contain people who enjoy nothing more than stepping away from Roland Barthes and diving straight into the mindset of
self-help
As sexuality becomes an increasingly normalised subject in society, masturbation has thankfully left the realm of an activity only undertaken by the compulsively sexual and perverse; however, the blanket of euphemisms, jokes and silence surrounding the subject serves to maintain the taboo. As a funloving and open minded student, the chance to write an article exploring masturbation seemed an opportunity not to be missed. However, writing this article turned out to be a challenge. University is the time where we are at our most free from the restraints of societal norms and taboos than at any other time in our lives. Yet while being aware that masturbation is not a shameful or unusual activity, and regularly joking about ‘hairy-palms’ with friends, for some reason having to approach the topic from a non-humorous perspective made this reporter blush. Masturbation is a lot more common an activity than polite conversation suggests; statistics, gathered by the British national probability survey, show that at least 95% of men and 62% of women have masturbated at some point during their lives. Health and psychological benefits of masturbation include relief from stress and depression and increased self-esteem, as well as increased fertility in women. Links have even been found between masturbation and a reduced risk of prostate cancer in men. A controversial sex education leaflet published by NHS Sheffield in 2009, sported the slogan “an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away.” Orgasms were presented as a basic human right and masturbation was given as one of the most effective and satisfying ways of attaining an orgasm. Obviously, masturbating is as much a personal choice as any other involvement in sexual activity. Nevertheless, as the week twelve deadlines begin to pile up and stress levels increase, this writer thinks it is important that people don’t forget one of the most effective (and cheapest) methods of stress relief that we all have. We all know an orgasm can work wonders and it is a gift we sometimes forget we can give ourselves.
ISSUE 249
Slovakian surprise
Tom Hunt reveals the hidden side of Bratislava, encountering welcoming people, a concrete UFO, neat streets and a multitude of roller skaters as the city adjusts to its new role as the Slovakian capital. Ever thought of getting your skates on for a holiday to Bratislava? Chances are not, but you shouldn’t dismiss this little capital city, situated a stone’s throw away from its well-known neighbour, Vienna. Hop on a train from the buzzing Austrian capital and you’ll cross the border into Slovakia, trundling into the city of Bratislava within an hour.
On arriving, the train station may appear lacklustre after the grandeur of the Viennese one, but don’t be put off, as the charming little city hides a scintillating spirit. The old capital of the now defunct Hungarian Empire, the city currently finds itself at the beating heart of newly-emerging Slovakia, positioned right in the centre of Europe. Younger than most undergraduates today, Slovakia only became independent in 1993 and the outlook is optimistic for Slovaks after years of Communist rule. This optimism is reflected in the neat little streets criss-crossing the city centre, opening up into a small square bordered by the Old Town Hall and teeming with people going about their everyday business, to a back-drop of clean roads and well-kept houses. It may be hard to appreciate that you stand at the centre of a European capital, as crowds aren’t exactly a problem here, even at the height of summer. As a result, the locals are happy to welcome you into their bars and restaurants; some may even express surprise that you bothered to stop by at all. But there is plenty to see, the majority being situated to the north of the glittering Danube. Here is St. Martin’s Cathedral, which is free to explore and provides cool relief from the outdoor heat. Take a moment
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Tuesday 7th December
in the centuries-old haven, which has witnessed copious coronations of Hungarian kings and queens before descending down into the earthy crypt, to explore the church’s ancient underbelly, stuffed with the dust of people past. Also on the north side lies the less convincing Bratislava Castle (or hrad in Slovak), which doesn’t look as old as you might expect. Indeed, the building has been restored from scratch, beginning in 1953 ,and was draped in luminous green scaffolding in 2009. However, as an emblem of the city, it still stands out on the skyline, as its predecessors did for a millennium, and is a source of pride for the citizens. From this vantage point, you can take in the view over the river of the Nový Most (New Bridge), topped by a bizarre UFO-like restaurant, unfortunately Communist in architectural style. Nevertheless, the best views of the city can be obtained from way up here. As for accommodation, the best bargains are to be found in the university buildings and trusty student halls, five minutes from the city centre. Hundreds of vacant rooms over several storeys are to be cheaply had in the summer months, though it can be a time-consuming process to find your allocated dorm. Wandering round deserted corridors, up and down quiet staircases to the accompaniment of your own echoing footsteps and the distant drip of taps is not the best way to explore Bratislava, but it is certainly something different. For pastimes more invigorating, try some of the city’s music festivals. Bratislava hosts free open-air orchestra and opera performances
in the central square, bringing out the very best Slovakia has to offer. We grabbed some seats and held on. As the sun faded away behind the rooftops and darkness descended, music pulsated from the floodlit stage, until suddenly the lights went out mid-symphony. Unperturbed, the players pressed on for several minutes in total darkness to a flourishing conclusion. The crowd went wild and leapt to their feet, the conductor keeping his composition to the last in an impressive display of brash confidence.
“...descending down into the earthy
Helsinki’s chills and thrills Adam Fenwick
Travel Writer
For travel on a budget, the Nordic countries are not always the most affordable ones to visit - and at £6 a pint, this writer regrets to say that he remained mostly sober for the best part of five days - but Finland’s capital Helsinki has much to offer. Perhaps one of the most interesting attractions of Finland’s capital is Suomenlinna, a collection of six small islands at the bottom of Finland that used to be the country’s main defence against enemy attacks in the eighteenth century. Nowadays, locals hop on one of the many short boat rides to the islands for picnics in the summer. Driving is prohibited for all tourists but walking leads to many interesting spots; located
crypt...explore the church’s ancient
underbelly, stuffed with the dust of people past.”
Likewise with Bratislava, the show goes on. One final display of vibrancy came as we crossed the motorway to the dorms. From out of nowhere, all traffic ceased as thousands of people came hurtling down the road, shouting, cheering, blowing trumpets and waving flags. They were all on roller skates. The road became a river of rollers, stretching on into the distance, disappearing in the night somewhere beneath the UFO. Perplexing, bizarre, but definitely worth a visit, Bratislava should no longer dwell in the shadow of its better-known neighbour.
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around the various islands are the discarded cannons and it is easy to spend a day exploring the many secret passageways and tunnels. Although a tourist-trap, the Ice Bar is a must-see. For around ten pounds you can visit the bar, which is completely made out of ice, and enjoy a free cocktail. The wearing of the supplied warm jackets make perfect photo opportunities. Helsinki Cathedral is one of the most iconic images of Finland and is located in the Senate Square. The Square hosts many outdoor events and, most recently, was the home of the United Buddy Bears exhibition, a collection of over 100 life-size bear sculptures, each representing a different country to promote tolerance between nations. Helsinki on a budget can be hard, but low-price flights, cheap hostels and getting around on foot all make the trip a lot more affordable. Food can be pricey, but most restaurants offer special lower priced menus at lunchtime. Check out Cafe Bar 9 on the Uudenmaankatu street which offers low-cost meals at lunch and is a great way to mix with the locals.
Top travel tips: Interrailing Emma Galal
Travel writer
There is no better time to go interrailing than as a student. It is a relatively cheap way to travel, with the opportunity of exploring the European continent in a short period of time, meeting people from all over the world along the way. There are several types of passes that you can choose from, starting at £25 for a single country pass, to £325 for one month’s unlimited travel in up to 30 countries. Once you have purchased your pass at www.interrailnet.com, you will have to decide where to go. The InterRail website offers a map with journey times and possible routes for your travels; if you are not going for long, focus on one region of Europe to see it properly. It’s best to discover cities that don’t initially spring to mind rather than visiting places that you will undoubtedly see throughout your lifetime. A good example is the Polish city, Krakow, which has an incredible hostel scene, with nightlife that revolves around a series of underground caves yet still has elements of social, cultural
and historical importance such as Auschwitz, which is less than two hours away by train. Interrailing is easy to budget beforehand. Aside from the pass, beware of a small fee payable, predominantly in Western Europe, when making train reservations. The quality of hostels in Europe is high and if you are on a tight budget, make use of added extras such as free breakfasts and bike hire. Ask locals for their recommendations on where to go for an authentic experience and listen to advice from fellow travellers who will often be coming from your next destination. Because of the easy manageability and large freedom you enjoy when interrailing, no trip is the same, making it an experience not to be missed while you have the time.
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La Tasca - Norwich 24 Tombland, Norwich, NR3 1RF 01603 776 420 latasca.norwich@bayrestaurantgroup.com
7th January, 2011
until 07/01/11, at La Tasca Norwich only.
Offer not valid on Bank Holidays
ISSUE 249
Tuesday 7th December
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Vegetable crumble Christmas traditions Christine O’Sullivan Food Writer
The chocolate advent calendar:
Gabriella Colasurdo
Food Writer
A savoury twist on traditional crumbles, this recipe is brilliant for sharing with a friend or freezing for another time. Eating this many vegetables cant be bad either! You will need:
• One onion • One red pepper • One courgette • One carrot • Carton of passata or chopped tomatoes • Basil (optional) • 100g of flour • 40g of diced butter • 65g of grated cheese
Method:
• Chop the onion roughly and sauté it in a good splashing of olive oil until it becomes clear. • Add the chopped carrot first (these take
longest to cook), and keep stirring for about five minutes. • Add the chopped courgette and pepper. • When the vegetables look like they are beginning to brown, empty the entire carton of chopped tomatoes over it and mix it all up together, bring the tomato to the boil. • Turn the heat down to low and simmer adding the basil and seasoning. • Meanwhile, heat the oven to 200°c and put your diced butter and flour into a large mixing bowl. Using your fingertips, rub the flour and butter together, lifting the mix high in the air and letting it fall into the bowl as tiny bread crumbs. Keep going until all of the butter has been rubbed into the flour. • Then mix in the cheese. Add salt and pepper to taste. • Pour the contents of the frying pan into an ovenproof dish. • Sprinkle the crumble evenly over the tomato and vegetables, pushing it right up to the corners of the dish. • Place in the oven for about half an hour, or until the top looks golden brown.
Christmas pies
Now being December 7th already, Concrete Food knows you’re well into your chocolate advent calendar that Mum sent up to you. They haven’t always been chocolate though. The first known calendar made from handwork dates back to 1851. The first printed advent calendar, although without windows to open, was produced in 1908, and at this time one company began producing calendars with bible verses behind the doors instead of pictures. It was only going back to the late 1950s that the advent calendars with chocolate we know nowadays became available. Some modern calendars have up to 31 doors to include the Jewish festival of Hanukkah and New Year’s Eve, sometimes not containing a chocolate for New Year’s Day for the reason that people will be on diets by then!
Special Offer Meal for Two
The candy cane: Hundreds of years ago sugar was an expensive food of the wealthy. For other people, it was saved for holidays, including Christmas and Easter, and other special occasions. Many of these traditions remain today, hence candy canes at Christmas. It is believed that the candy cane’s first origin is in a story of a German choirmaster who handed these out to his young singers in 1670 to keep them quiet during a long church service.
Mincemeat and mince pies: Mincemeat pie dates back to the Medieval times, when the recipe did include meat. It also often contained dried fruits, sugar and spices, as was the tradition of the day. The distinction between mincemeat and mince was drawn in the mid-nineteenth century, when meat began to disappear from the recipe, leaving the fruit, nut, sugar, spice, and suet product we know today.
Every Sunday to Thursday
2 Papadum, 1 Onion Bahji, 1 Chicken Rogon, 1 Chicken Bhuna, 2 Pulao Rice, 1 Nan Bread
Only £10.95 FREE DELIVERY FOR STUDENTS £5.30 £5.40 £5.80
Gabriella Colasurdo Food Writer
This recipe makes great use of all those annoying leftovers from Christmas Day, and will be perfect for feeding any post-Christmas visitors. You will need:
• Your Christmas leftovers. (Anything from leftover meat, potatoes, stuffing to the vegetables, and even the gravy and cranberry sauce) • A packet of pre-rolled puff pastry • One egg Method:
• Pre-heat the oven to 180 °c • Cut the meat, vegetables, and roasted
vegetables into cube sized chunks, and place in a large bowl. • Crumble the stuffing over it, and add a couple of teaspoons of cranberry sauce, pouring a little of the gravy over the whole mix so that it has the consistency of a thick stew. • Grease a muffin tray with a knob of butter, (how many pies you make depends upon how much filling you have). • Unroll the pastry, and using a cutter, make circles 1cm in diameter larger than the muffin tin spaces. • Fit the pastry into the muffin tin spaces and then fill with the leftovers mix. • Cut further pastry circles to make lids for your pies. • Seal the edges with a fork, and brush the lids with a beaten egg. • Place in the oven and cook for 20-25 mins, or until golden brown..
£5.40
£5.30 £5.10
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UEA Music Society Ruth Furness Music Society
Many students at UEA have been playing an instrument for years, often just for fun and never anything too serious – and that’s where the Music Society comes in. Playing in an informal ensemble alongside a few pub crawls is the perfect way to maintain your musical ability. The society is entirely student run – from players and singers to conductors – and a lot of work goes into making sure you have a wide range of music to play and have fun whilst doing so. The society has three ensembles: Orchestra, Wind Band and Big Band. Each plays their own type of music, which differs between each group – from classical to jazz to film scores. There’s something for everyone, even if you’re not keen on the traditional classical pieces. Rehearsals run back to back on Thursday nights, starting with Orchestra at 6pm, followed by Wind Band at 7:15pm and Big Band at 8:30pm. All rehearsals take place in the concert room of the Music Department (the building down the stairs next to the UFO).
If you don’t play an instrument, we also run a choir on Wednesday evenings at 7:30pm. The choir perform a variety of music with opportunity for any type of voice. However, if you’re looking for something a bit different, we also run a Barbershop ensemble (think Ted’s band from Scrubs). Rehearsals are after choir at 8:30pm, and both take place in LT3. We hold concerts at the end of each semester, and our Christmas concert is taking place on the 10th December (see our Facebook page for more details), so the opportunity to perform is always there. There are no auditions and we welcome players and singers of any ability, so if you have an instrument lying around that hasn’t been touched since primary school, dust it off and come and have a go. We are always on the lookout for new players of any instrument; however, we are currently looking for a percussionist to join our ensembles next semester. If you are interested, you can email ueamusicsociety@gmail.com or have a look at the Facebook page “UEA Music Society 2010/11”.
The University’s Music Society holds successful concerts at the end of each semester.
Literature Society Carmina Masoliver LitSoc Secretary
In 2009, UEA students Alys Elphick, Helen Jones and Carmina Masoliver-Marlow strolled around SocMart only to realise there was no Literature Society. As one of the largest schools at the University, it was a shock to find that there was nobody to represent the students for this subject. The three girls decided to take it upon themselves to recreate the society. Since then, they have doubled in committee members, with Jake Miller, Carolina Bodmer and Liam Parkin joining them. Their aim for the society has been to increase social interaction between students while also celebrating a love of all kinds of literature, no matter what subject students actually study. This term, LitSoc has organised theatre trips with subsidised tickets, fancy dress socials, and an event to celebrate National Poetry Day. Most recently, an evening was held in the Hive with music, poetry and comedy, including the likes of Joshua Jones (current third year student, already published), Hannah Jane Walker and Russell J Turner, as well as other amazing student acts.
Next term you can expect more of the same, but the society is always open to more suggestions. There will also be collaborative events with the Creative Writing Society, possibly including a slam poetry event - if anyone’s brave enough! There will also be a repeat of last year’s Spring Ball, which the committee hope to be bigger and better than ever. If you would like to join UEAs Literature Society, please contact: litsoc.uea@gmail. com.
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Tuesday 7th December
FIFA blow hot and cold on World Cup vote Sports Correspondent Chris Teale analyses the highly controversial decision to award the 2018 and 2022 World Cups to Russia and Qatar Following the allegations made against several key FIFA figures by BBC One investigative show Panorama, it was expected that England’s bid to host the 2018 World Cup would suffer, particularly because two of the accused, Jack Warner and Issa Hayatou, were key voters on the panel. This did not stop hundreds gathering across the country in front of big screens, hoping to see football ‘come home’ for the first time since 1966. England’s ‘Three Lions’ – Prince William, David Cameron and David Beckham – lobbied on behalf of the country’s bid at FIFA headquarters in Zurich, and were similarly optimistic to those watching back at home. England’s final day presentation was described by FIFA President Sepp Blatter as “remarkable”, whilst Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin didn’t
even feel the need to travel to Zurich. Even before the announcement, unconfirmed rumours began to circulate that the England bid had been eliminated in the first round of voting. Such a conclusion indeed came to pass, with Blatter announcing that the 2018 World Cup would be hosted by Russia. The tournament will be the first behind the old ‘Iron Curtain’, with FIFA evidently not put off by the inherent problem of racism in the Russian Premier League, and t h e
Silver lining for UEA athlete Richard Brookman Sports Correspondent
Rising UEA athletics star Lee Calderon displayed the full extent of his potential at the recent BUCS duathlon event, taking a silver medal and finishing just 15 seconds behind Loughborough’s Mark Threlfall, who is on a world class performance programme. The result was a tremendous boost and personal best for Calderon, an international duathlete in his own right. Improving on fifth place in last year’s competition, Calderon has confirmed his status as a British athlete certainly worth keeping an eye on. He is now focusing on medalling in his next three major events: the British, European and World Championships respectively.
Despite being a natural runner, Calderon professes that it is his cycling that is now becoming his stronger suit, but says he “can’t let the gap become too wide as it is usually the best runners in the race that come out victorious.” If you’re interested in taking up the duathlon, whether competitively or just for fitness, Lee’s advice is to “make sure you don’t mistake it for a mini-triathlon: it’s a real event in its own right”. Another key is to “avoid putting yourself under unnecessary pressure”. The duathlon is similar to the triathlon, with the swimming leg replaced by another running leg. Concrete Sport would like to wish Lee all the best for 2011 and hope to see him continue his ascent to duathlon domination.
fact that the vast majority of stadia and infrastructure is yet to be built, almost certainly at significant cost. Alexsey Sorokin, CEO of the Russian bid, asked FIFA to “let us make history together”, but huge excitement amongst the Russian delegation was in stark contrast to crushing disappointment in the England camp. Instead of returning to the birthplace of the game, a country with stadia of the highest calibre and enthusiastic fans in every host city, the 2018 World Cup will be hosted by a country widely perceived to be corrupt, plagued by organised crime, with a state-controlled media and undemocratic political system. The announcement was greeted with devastation and outrage amongst English spectators, but bemusement was to follow as the 2022 tournament was surprisingly awarded to the tiny Gulf state of Qatar. With unbearable summer temperatures of around 40 degrees in a country with a population of fewer than two million, stadia concentrated
Charm offensive: this time Cameron couldn’t sway the floating voters
within a 60 kilometre radius, and a dubious human rights record as well as an unrepresentative absolute monarchy kept in power by the enormous revenues derived from vast oil and gas reserves, the decision certainly came out of left field. FIFA were once again not deterred by the weight of evidence, describing the bid as ‘high risk’, whilst quietly ignoring the calls that Qatar had used its ‘petrol dollars’ to ‘buy’ the World Cup.
The failure of the England bid marked yet another defeat in a disappointing year for the national game, and the country will now be unable to bid for the tournament until 2030, due to FIFA rules on host continent rotation. Time will tell as to whether Russia will be able to deliver on its many promises, but for England and the legions of passionate supporters up and down the country, the agonising wait to host the World Cup goes on.
home side looked set to go one up in the series. England looked as if they could match the host’s impressive bowling form with Graeme Swann, James Anderson and Stephen Finn taking five wickets between them for 143. Mike Hussey and Brad Haddin soon put ends to these hopes, both scoring impressive centuries to guide Australia to a lead of 221. Frustrating third and fourth days for Strauss and co left many thinking England were yet again to be thrashed down under, and this time against a poor Australian side. Yet, against all odds, England broke several records to humiliate the Australians so much that on Monday, the final day, practically the only fans in the ground were those of the travelling Barmy Army. Andrew Strauss was the only
batsman to fall at the hands of the Aussies as he was stumped out by wicket keeper Haddin for 110. Jonathon Trott replaced him, waltzing his way to 135, but it was Cook who left the home side at boiling point as he scored his first double century in test cricket, beating Australian cricket icon Sir Don Bradman for the highest test score at the Gabba. England rescued a draw as they saw themselves reach 517-1 before declaring. Cook’s recipe for success now leaves the Aussies simmering, with Mitchell Johnson dropped from the bowling line up for the second test in Adelaide, the fast bowler himself acknowledging that he was a “little out of form in the last test”. Doug Bollinger replaced him for what has turned out to be a pulsating second test.
Cook reduces Aussies to ashes Dominic Smith
Sports Correspondent
Alastair Cook left Australia tasting sour grapes after serving up a mouth-watering 235 to save England from defeat at the Gabba in Brisbane for the first test of the 2010/11 Ashes. Cook and the rest of the Three Lions’ batting line-up were hungry for success after being bowled out for just 260 in the first innings as the
Battered: Australia had no answer
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U:EA
Update: East Anglia Ian Hobbs Sports Correspondent
It is rare to hear Norwich City and Ipswich Town fans singing from the same hymn sheet - but as the 96th East Anglian derby reached its climax, the chant ‘You’re getting sacked in the morning’ could be heard reverberating around Carrow Road. This chant came after a sublime finish from Wes Hoolahan gave the scoreline an emphatic look of 4-1 in the Canaries’ favour. The chant was certainly not aimed at Canaries manager Paul Lambert, who has re-built City over the last 15 months, but at Ipswich boss Roy Keane, who in a similar timeframe seems to have achieved very little. When his side went down to 10 men, already 2-1 behind, Keane proceeded to make a number of negative substitutions that didn’t
give Ipswich a hope of salvaging anything from the game. With defensive stalwart Gareth McAuley injured, the Tractor Boys’ back four really struggled against
Norwich and particularly Grant Holt, who grabbed his first ever league hat-trick and the man of the match award. For the first goal Holt capitalised on a Darren O’Dea error before finishing well over Marton Fulop. The second came as a result of an exquisite Henri Lansbury through ball and the third was a fine team goal involving build-up from Chris Martin and Wes Hoolahan. The only Ipswich defender to make some kind of positive contribution was Damien Delaney, who scored Ipswich’s only goal of the game to equalise at 1-1 - but Delaney soon turned from hero to villain as he was sent off minutes later for a challenge on Holt with the Norwich striker breaking through on goal. It was hard to find an Ipswich player who put in a solid performance - apart from captain
Korfball enjoy success at BUCS Southerns
Sports Correspondent Lisa Stevens documents a weekend to remember for UEA Korfball UEA Korfball I battled to their most impressive result in recent years, finishing a deserved second at the Southern Qualifiers hosted by the Sportspark. Nine teams were involved in the tournament, all of whom were aiming for the coveted top four positions in order to be seeded for the Nationals due to take place in March of next year. Firm favourites Birmingham unsurprisingly trounced all other eight teams in the ‘round robin’ format, demonstrating with ruthless efficiency exactly why many are anticipating that their dominance will continue in the Nationals in March. UEA were somewhat of a surprise success story, performing superbly to win five of their eight games and push out close rivals Kent on goal difference, despite losing the head-to-head contest. Moritz Reinhard’s stunning shot was undoubtedly the goal of the day,
making the korf just as the full-time buzzer sounded to win the game for UEA, in a dramatic 4-3 victory over Oxford. Coaches Jimmy Seymour and Paul Ashworth declared themselves to be “delighted with the result”, adding: “we couldn’t have wished for anything more.” UEA were devastated to crash out of last year’s Nationals, having been forced to compete in what has come to be popularly referred to as the ‘group of death’, following their initial poor showing at the Southerns. However, president Ashley Camies, speaking to Concrete, affirmed her optimism for the forthcoming Nationals: “Now that we’re seeded we can definitely have a shot at winning the BUCS Nationals. Bring on Birmingham!” The Southern qualifiers were deemed to have been a huge success, not only for UEA but korfball generally, with the introduction
Ella Chappell
Motivated: Korfball up for Nationals of a new side from Gloucester University, demonstrating its evergrowing popularity as a university sport. UEA’s finest will now be hoping for a strong Norfolk League campaign in the spring to stand them in the strongest possible stead ahead of the Nationals.
David Norris - and this will surely be of concern to both Keane and loyal Town supporters. With the side consisting of many loan players, recent acquisitions Rory Fallon and Gianni Zuiverloon included, it seems the team haven’t gelled. Canaries fans may well be reminded of the days of Glenn Roeder at Norwich in the 08/09 season, when a string of uninspiring loan signings were unable to help the club avoid
the drop into League One. Some hope was restored at Portman Road when Town beat West Brom 1-0 in a Carling Cup quarter final on Wednesday. In the semi-finals Ipswich will face Arsenal over two-legs and this success might well be keeping Keane in the job. However, Ipswich fell to their fifth league defeat in a row at home to Swansea. Despite taking the lead through Andros Townsend, they lost 3-1, further putting pressure on elusive chairman Marcus Evans to show Keane the door. The Canaries had contrasting fortunes as they took on fellow high-fliers Derby County at Pride Park. Norwich flew into a 2-0 lead in the first quarter of an hour thanks to a fortunate David Fox goal and Chris Martin’s bullet header. Kris Commons replied for the Rams almost immediately but Paul Lambert’s side held on in an entertaining game to grab the three points. This win moved Norwich up to a handsome 4th position in the Championship.
Five-star Barca triumph Sam Tomkinson Sports Correspondent
The recent El Clásico showdown between arch-rivals Real Madrid and Barcelona at the Camp Nou had been talked about for weeks in advance, yet few were expecting a 5-0 demolition for the hosts to be the end result. The way Pep Guardiola’s side imposed their sublime passing style upon a lacklustre Madrid was mesmerising. The home side were immediately on the back foot, when just 10 minutes in Xavi latched onto a deflection to loop a classy finish over Casillas. Moments later a goalmouth scramble, from which Real were unable to clear their lines, presented Spanish youngster Pedro with an irresistible chance to double Barcelona’s lead. Frustration was clearly beginning to get the better of the visitors – half an hour in, Cristiano Ronaldo pushed Guardiola in an attempt to retrieve the ball for a throw-in. A brief scuffle ensued, but the break in play failed to stem the Barcelona tide. Despite Jose Mourinho’s second half substitutions, the goals
continued to flow for the home side. Twice the irresistible combination of Lionel Messi and David Villa sliced open Ricardo Carvalho and Pepe at the heart of the Madrid defence, before substitute Jeffren converted a cross from substitute Bojan Krkic to complete the rout. Despite Barcelona’s imperious display, Mourinho must acknowledge his tactics were partly to blame for Real’s defeat. Despite the visitors’ high defensive line the Madrid forwards were only forced to press when Barcelona threatened to cross the half-way line. In practical terms, attempting to limit space in the midfield against the most assured central midfield triumvirate in club football - Xavi, Andres Iniesta and Sergio Busquets - was practically unachievable from the start. To make matters worse, maintaining such a high line allowed the trio to slip passes behind the defence with ease, as witnessed for Villa’s second goal. It was a magical performance from Los Culés, yet where this defeat leaves Madrid, and more importantly Mourinho, in terms of his position at the club, remains to be seen.
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Tuesday 7th December
So You Think You Know Ultimate? Sports Correspondent Matt Scrafton previews one of the world’s fastest-growing sports and almost certainly UEA’s most peculiarly nicknamed club For most of us who enjoyed throwing a frisbee around the garden when we were younger, ultimate, formerly known as ultimate frisbee, is most Lizzy Margereson
probably an alien concept. Relatively few are actually aware of a sport which happens to be enjoyed by millions across the world.
Catch me if you can: UEA Ultimate train every Friday at the Sportspark
Ultimate is an exciting, noncontact sport which mixes the best bits of football, basketball and American football into an elegantly simple, yet fascinating and demanding game. Boasting 4.9 million players in the US since its formation at college level in the 1970s, Ultimate also enjoys representation at the quadrennial World Games, a multisport event first held in 1981. The object of the game is to score points by passing the disc to a team-mate in the opposing ‘end zone’, similar to the end zone found in American football. UEA Ultimate, nicknamed ‘Aye-Aye’, is one of the more popular sports clubs with almost 70 members.
Speaking to Concrete Sport, UEA Ultimate president Ben Hutton offered the following explanation of the club’s unusual moniker: “Popular myth has it that the students who founded the club were studying the Madagascan Lemur known as the Aye-Aye at the time, so they thought it apt to adopt the name.” One of ultimate’s primary benefits is that most people have never played it before, so members are able to begin on an even footing and learn together at a similar pace. Although competitive ultimate doesn’t involve weekly fixtures as such, Aye-Aye participates in tournaments held over a number of weekends during the academic year. In the final week of October,
UEA Ultimate entered the Midlands Indoor Regional tournament, and, following a great performance, managed to finish second out of 24 teams. In doing so the club qualified for Division One of the Nationals, held on the weekend of 27-28 November: despite not finishing as well as they had hoped, Aye-Aye still managed a creditable 12th place, bringing a highly successful indoor season to an end. UEA Ultimate train on Wednesdays at Colney Lane from 2-4pm, and on Fridays in Hall 1 of the Sportspark from 5-6.15pm. For more information, or to join a fast-growing sport and club, email B.Hutton@uea.ac.uk.
From local boy to the world stage
Sport Editors Chris King and Rob Schatten speak to youngest ever Match Of The Day presenter and face of BBC Formula One, Jake Humphrey The past decade has seen the inexorable rise of Jake Humphrey from hosting Fame Academy in 2003 to presenting the afternoon show for the BBC during the 2008 Olympics in Beijing, becoming its first American Football host for Superbowl XLII and XLIII in between, among other notable achievements. Naturally, with such a busy schedule, and almost continual travel between race venues across the world, Humphrey is unsurprisingly a little tired now and again. “The jetlag has died away now though”, the 32-year old confessed.
“The adrenaline
in Jenson’s eyes in
2009 - that’s what being a sports
journalist is all
Whilst the fatigue factor may be a constant, this year’s Championship was particularly hectic. Asked what it was like to be on the scene, Humphrey said: “It was brilliant. I think the thing about my job that is particularly special is the chance to bring to the audience at home the atmosphere, the emotion and the adrenaline of a sport as amazing as Formula 1. “I’ll never forget seeing the
adrenaline in Jenson’s eyes in 2009. That’s what being a sports journalist is all about – making sure that you’re in the eye of the storm at that moment.” On whether he thought it was Formula One’s best ever season, Humphrey replied: “When Murray Walker, who’s seen and might even have commentated on every year of F1, is telling you this is the best year ever, then you have to believe him.” Having grown up as a motorsport fan in Norfolk, Humphrey professed his happiness at having Lotus back in Formula One: “It does feel special to see them return, partly because of what they meant to me as a kid, but also because of what it means to Norfolk.” Away from Formula One, Humphrey, an ardent Norwich City fan, recently presented the BBC’s live coverage of the East Anglian derby. “If I’d been in the stands I’d have absolutely let my emotions go but I had to maintain a modicum of professionalism”, he said. “I will reveal to you and you only that I did celebrate wildly in the studio when Norwich took the lead. The guys thought that was quite funny! “I thought it was fantastic – Norwich played brilliantly. It was one of those special days to be at Carrow Road.” Whilst some may see the ‘Old Farm’ as a ‘lesser’ derby, Humphrey vehemently disagrees: “They’re
important teams with great histories, and I think if you ask most people how many go and watch Norwich every week, they’d probably say about five or six thousand! They don’t realise we have 21,000 season ticket holders every game.” Following a mixed sporting year,
was a classic example of that – it was almost a lifetime achievement award, really.” Humphrey acknowledges that the field is wide open this year. “You’ve got A.P. McCoy, Phil Taylor and Amy Williams, who was almost an unknown last year, but has been
The lads: (from left to right) Jordan, Coulthard and Humphrey hard at work
it is fair to say that the BBC Sports Personality of the Year show, which Humphrey is set to co-host for the third consecutive year, will be as unpredictable as ever. As Humphrey states: “I think people are thinking ‘am I voting for the greatest public figure or someone that’s had a great career and really engages people at home?’ Ryan Giggs winning last year
propelled into the limelight. Then there’s David Haye, Graeme Swann and the Ryder Cup golfers, who’ve all had stellar years, so it’s hard to call a winner. I always say I’d rather be presenting it than voting on it.” Humphrey is no stranger to personalities, of course – he shares the paddock with Eddie Jordan and David Coulthard, undoubtedly two
of Formula One’s biggest characters. “It’s enlightening, let’s put it that way,” he laughs. “They’re a funny old pair, and both have a very interesting fashion sense. I think they’ve started to collaborate on their trouser choices, because for the final race of the year they both turned up in white jeans on the Saturday and electric blue jeans on the Sunday. That is too much of a coincidence! “Part of the love I have for Eddie is that he has an incredible passion for F1 – he still runs around the paddock like he’s a seven year old kid and he’s in his sixties, it’s incredible. “David and I aren’t brave enough to run into a garage and grab a team boss – but Eddie’s more than happy to do it. The man has no fear and that’s very helpful to us.” Humphrey was quick to identify a focal point in his incredible career to date: “I think the moment for me was after I’d done my first year of F1, and it had been a difficult one. When I first got the job I had my wife in tears because the reaction was pretty negative, so it was a case of proving people wrong. Then at the end of 2009 my broadcasting hero Des Lynam named me as the best sports presenter in his annual Desmond awards in The Telegraph. That was incredible, that he even knew who I was, let alone that he thought I was the best sports presenter of the year - magic.”
sport KITESURFING, DODGEBALL AND MMA CLUBS APPROVED
2018 World Cup Concrete Sport looks at the fall-out from FIFA’s controversial decision to send the 2018 and 2022 World Cups east
TENNIS SERVE UP A THRASHING
Oli Platt
Sports Correspondent
UEA’s already sizeable array of sporting opportunities continues to expand, with the introduction of new dodgeball, kitesurfing and mixed martial arts (MMA) clubs available to students. The introduction of MMA is sure to be met with significant enthusiasm, as the sport has seen its popularity take off in the last few years, and has begun to make a dent into the huge fighting market currently dominated by boxing and wrestling through its biggest promotion company, the Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC). No less exciting is kitesurfing, with professional boarders able to reach speeds of up to 50 knots on the water. Kitesurfing, as the name suggests, involves using a kite to propel the surfer through the water on a small surfboard. A popular aspect of kitesurfing is ‘controlled flying’, where the boarder is able to push off a wave and become airborne. Last, but not least, is dodgeball, a team sport commonly played in North American schools that many will associate with the enduringlypopular 2004 Vince Vaughn and Ben Stiller comedy DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story. With two teams on opposite sides of a court, the aim of dodgeball is to eliminate opposition team members by hitting them with a ball, catching one of their throws, or forcing them out of bounds. Despite having been set up in September, Dodgeball already has just under 50 members, who meet for training on Mondays from 6-8pm at Earlham High School. Dodgeball president, Sam Gillespie, said: “Our coach is the head of women’s dodgeball at the UK Dodgeball Association (UKDBA) and coaches several other teams. We plan to start playing soon competitively against the other teams that our coach knows in the Norfolk area.” Further details of all three clubs can be found on SocWeb (https:// www.socweb.org.uk).
Update East Anglia Sports correspondent Ian Hobbs looks at a stellar performance from Grant Holt, which helped the Canaries triumph in the derby
Grudge match: Neither could afford to lose as Tennis I and II squared off
Toby Martin
Sports Correspondent
The tension was palpable at Easton College as UEA Men’s Tennis I and II squared off against each other
UEA Men’s I UEA Men’s II
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competitively for the first time in the club’s history. Despite a series of closely fought matches, Men’s I
inflicted a crushing 12-0 defeat on their fellow club members. Men’s I captain, Henry Durrant, and James Basey-Fisher got proceedings under way against Dominic Noakes and Alex Howard. After a fairly eventful start, the firstteam pair secured a crucial break of serve in the fifth game and went on to close out the first set (6-4). Noakes and Howard managed to claw back and win the second set (63), thus setting up a championship tie break. After an enthralling encounter, Durrant and Basey-Fisher proved too strong, coming through (10-8) to hand the initiative to Men’s I. The two players, who have been doubles partners for three years, remain undefeated with a total of 13 wins in their time at UEA. Luke Bennitt-Driver and Men’s II captain Chris Thompson were handed a harsh lesson, losing (6-2, 6-2) to Ross Culley and club vicepresident James Carn. Culley’s dominance continued in the singles, UEA’s number one comfortably
defeating Theodore Chakos (6-3, 6-1). Thompson proved to be a far tougher competitor for BaseyFisher, the former grinding out a victory (6-4, 6-4) after many breaks of serve from both players. Nathan Briscoe proceeded to easily dispatch Men’s II’s Alex Howard (62, 6-2). It took over two hours to separate Durrant and Noakes in what was undoubtedly the day’s showpiece match, Durrant edging through in the deciding set (4-6, 6-4, 6-3), following an intense battle. The rather one-sided scoreline was arguably not a completely fair reflection on a day of great tennis from both sides, featuring a number of closely-fought matches. The result has propelled the Men’s I to the summit of BUCS Division 2A, leading by just a single point, and ensured the continuation of an impressive unbeaten run. The Men’s II, meanwhile, remain rooted in mid-table going into the Christmas break.
A FORTNIGHT IN UEA SPORT
Sports Correspondent Kirsten Wade describes a BUCS sporting calendar plagued by the snow and icy weather
DERBY DAY DATE SET The date for Derby Day, the annual sporting competition between UEA and the University of Essex, has been announced as March 23, 2011. With Essex hosting the tournament last year, and proceeding to triumph 30-15, Derby Day again returns to UEA. UEA will once more be hoping to make the most of home advantage as they did in 2009, and continue a trend which has seen the last five competitions go the way of the hosts. Boasting a 7-3 overall lead, the pressure will be on UEA to stop Essex from further closing the gap. Essex meanwhile will be looking for a back-to-back victory, competing in 25 sports for not only the Derby Day title, but the intense bragging rights that go with it.
Greg Mann
Cold shoulder: Snow-covered pitches have put paid to UEA’s BUCS fixtures
SNOW MEANS NO UEA’s BUCS schedule was dealt a deathly blow by the freezing weather (see left) and incessant snowfall which has plagued the country over the past couple of weeks. While all outdoor matches, both home and away, were unsurprisingly cancelled, it had been thought that the midweek indoor ties would still be able to go ahead. It wasn’t to be, however, with matches due to take place at the Sportspark and other indoor arenas postponed due to the treacherous travelling conditions. With no indication of any significant improvement to the inclement weather, more BUCS fixtures could be cancelled over the next fortnight, leading to a potential back-log heading into the busy January period.
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VENUE Editor-in-Chief>Danny Collins| concrete.editor@uea.ac.uk Venue Editor>Duncan Vicat-Brown| concrete.event@uea.ac.uk
concrete.fashion@uea.ac.uk| Fashion Editor>Kat Jones Deputy Fashion Editor>Hannah Britt Fashion Contributors>Melissa Rushworth, Camilla Sampson, Kat Jones, Hannah Britt
concrete.arts@uea.ac.uk| Arts Editor>Liz Jackson
Everybody is welcome! Yeah, Christmas is
Awesome!
As that most iconic of festive figureheads, Mr. Hankey, once said, ‘It’s beginning to smell a lot like Christmas!’ There’s snow on the ground, Shakin’ Stevens on the radio and the general sinking feeling that you haven’t saved enough of your loan to buy presents for your loved ones. Never mind, there’s plenty in this issue of Venue to help with your Christmas shopping woes; in Fashion there’s a Christmas gift guide and a look forward to 2011’s upcoming fashion trends, Television have had a look at some of the best TV boxsets available and Competitions have got gig tickets to give away, so you can even go out after you’ve rinsed your poor bank account to within an inch of it’s life...
Have a great Christmas, see you in 2011!
Arts Contributors> Imogen Steinberg, Carmina Masoliver-Marlow, Harriet Jones, Stephen Pester, Charlotte LeCorgne
concrete.creativewriting@uea.ac.uk| Creative Writing Editor>Robert Van Egghen Creative Writing Contributors> Ella Chappell, James Sykes, Sula Deane, Carmina Masoliver, Robert van Egghen
concrete.tvdigital@uea.ac.uk| Television Editor>Tasha Golley
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Television Contributors> Laura Stevens, Phil Turtle, Michael Lovelock, Helen Eaton, Natalie Stephenson, Kate Allen, Matt Tidby
concrete.wired@uea.ac.uk| Wired Editor>Vaughn Highfield Wired Contributors>Faye Fullalove, William Moran, Jason Parr-Morley, Vaughn Highfield
concrete.music@uea.ac.uk| Music Editors>Alec Plowman & Alex Throssell Music Contributors>Hana Lockier, Sean Purdy, Beth Wyatt, Ellie Kumar, James Woodward, Kate Hinksman, Abigail Hooper, Peter Walker, Tom McInnes, Ant Firth-Clark, Alex Throssell
concrete.film@uea.ac.uk| Film Editor>Paul Martin Deputy Film Editor>Catherine Watts Film Contributors> Grace Curruthers, George Gilbert, Anna Eastick, James Collins, Helen Jones, Emily Jones, Lorna Pontefract, Vimbai Mukwenha, Beth Davison, Emily Bater, Katy Quigley
concrete.event@uea.ac.uk| Comedy Editor>Fiona Howard Comedy Contributors>Paloma Jacquin, Christian Pierre, Laurence Boum, Natasha Smirnov
concrete.listings@uea.ac.uk| Listings Editor>Georgina Wade Listings Contributors>Ian Hobbs
concrete.competitions@uea.ac.uk| Competitions Editor>Henry Croft Competitions Contributors>Henry Croft
Three of Concrete’s Exquisite Editorial Beauties© strike a pose amid scores of happy revellers at the first annual Mediaball. Many thanks to Daniella Hadley and Perdita Fearon for organising such a fantastic evening, and for everyone from Concrete, Livewire 1350 and Livewire TV who came!
The Fashionably Festive Issue
As we have finally hit December and everything is sprinkled with snow, this issue will definitely get you excited about the Christmas season. Check out the fashion sense of the Concrete and Venue Editors as we snapped them at the Christmas Media Ball. Get inspiration for your Christmas shopping by Fashion Editor Kat Jones. Deputy Fashion Editor Hannah Britt says farewell to 2010 and our fashion writers look ahead to 2011. Don’t forget to post your letter to Father Christmas! Merry Christmas to one and all.
So, How Do The Editors Scrub Up?
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Fashion Editor’s Christmas Gift Guide Here I give you ideas for what to buy that special someone, your best friends, your family or to add on to your own wishlist . Happy Holidays Everyone!
Greg gets top marks for his statement, shiny suit . Coloured shirts Natasha Golley, on his right adds Christmas red touches in accessories. and skinny tie combos were favoured, seen on Duncan Vicat-Brown, Venue Editorin-Chief, left image centre and, right image, Simon Partridge, Photographer and Greg Mann, Chief Photographer.
3.Penthaligon’s Scents, for Men and Women, a luxury London brand that will make you or a loved one feel extra special. Ideal for fashionable fathers and brothers too. <<Satorial for Men £50 Artemisia for Women £85>>
1. They’re clogs, they’re boots, they have fur. They tick all the boxes and at a great price; £55 from Next. A fabulous buy for a sister, friend, cousin, oh heck just treat yourself. 2.Luella’s Guide to English Fashion £20 Waterstones, for any English rose in the making.
Davina Kesby, News Editor in a sultry LBD, Steph McKenna, Deputy Editor looks classy in a satin empire line and Kat Jones Fashion, Editor goes for a leopard print mini.
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Robert Van Egghen, Creative Writing Editor, far left,mixes a navy jacket with a pale shirt.
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Emma Parrot, Comment and Opinion Editor, glamorises the jumpsuit and Sam Lewis, Feautures Editor works on-trend, lace with sexy red lips.
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Suited and Booted; Ed, left, News Editor and Danny the Editor-in-Chief opt for the classic white shirt, both going for grey suits over black.
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4.Spoil your mum or your man, at Thomas Sabo with unique charms and jewellery that anyone will love; sheriff style guns, converse and eagles for men and diamond hearts, childhood favourites and vintage fashion for women.
2.Liberty Print suitcase £60 perfect for toing and fro-ing between uni and
2.The Black Tie Watch £3700 Dunhill, for uber-slick time keeping.
3.Jo Malone Pomegranate Noir Body Crème £48 to feel like a goddess I strive to be.
4.Clinique Expert Shave Set £27 Boots, hey I’m a modern man these days.
5.Globe Trotter Antique style MP3 docks £195 3ryan.com Music needs to look good too. Kat Jones 2011 is the year of the...bowler hat? Wearing heels in the day? Crawling out of comfort corner? As a freelance fashion writer for a number of London magazines you’d think I’d make an effort with my everyday attire. However, note the word ‘freelance’ and the fact that during the rest of the time I am very much a student. Comfort is the key word of student apparel, especially when it’s this cold. Yet for 2011 I plan to embrace eclectic style for class and move away from my typical look of leggings and loose tees, or at least play around with it a little more. I’ve already done the drastic change in hair colour, so my ex-
Next to be ground up under the fashion truck were bra tops. The tops which were a bra, with an extra bit of fabric (or on the worst offenders, elastic) attached to the bottom. It was a top, right? Wrong.You just left the house in your underwear. I do not mean to write them off completely, because on the right person, teamed with something more demure on the bottom, they sometimes looked cute. Nudity in moderation please ladies. Worn in the wrong way, however, you looked like Chloe Mafia. Finally, one for the boys. Those deep necked tops favoured by the JLS boys. The “extreme v-neck”. JLS can pull it off, sort of. But if I ever see another pale, blemished pigeon chest exposed by a dangerously low necked tee, I am going to vomit. They are fashion’s limbo pole. How low can they go? No further please. So as 2010 rolls to a close, we look forward to what the fashion pack has to offer us in 2011. Which trend will drive us into a fashion frenzy? What fad will make us look like we crashed headfirst into a brick wall? I, for one, am excited to find out. Hannah Britt
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O 2011
perimentation will be very clothes ats ff based. I’ll be trialling wearing heels (I’m talking proper heels) all day – I’ve done it before so I can do it to again, right? To mix my look up a bit Our fashion writers I’ll also try out some niche trends; look ahead to the joys of the New such as leather-effect leggings, and year. the bowler hat! The latter scares me a little but I’ve found so many good examples I’m determined to make it work. Finally I may pull some slightly more graphic tees into the equation, usually opting for plain, as well as a variety of shades, textures and patterns in the tight department! See you in 2011 for a style challenge or two... Camilla Sampson
The ultimate fresh start that everyone embraces each and every January 1st – The New Year! Dressed to impress in our gladrags, camouflaging that dreaded Christmas weight, and teetering out of 2010 in our sky high heels, everyone from the most ambitious to the downright lazy makes some form of resolution. Aside from the age old pledge to lose 10 pounds, this time around I’m dedicating my resolutions to style and confidence – it’s all about me! The horror at the idea of turning twenteen has finally convinced me that I need to embrace my youth, let go of my inhibitions and finally wear things that I’ll no longer get away with in ten years time. In the past I’ve always erred on the side of cau-
4.Starbucks Christmas gift card; who can resist the Gingerbread Latte in this weather.
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1.How to be a Hepburn in a Hilton World by Jordan Christy £12.99 for Fashion know-how.
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1.Graduate Slacker hoody £60 plainlazy. com, a new variant of my staple wardrobe
I have been an angel this year. I have handed all my work in on time; I may have pulled an all-nighter in the library once or twice but on time is on time, learnt the value of money; fashion over food wins every time and I am always kind to others and interested in their lives; ahh the wonders of Facebook so pretty please can I put in a small request for:
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I have been a really good boy this year. I am keeping fit by cycling to uni every day, I am being organised and prepared for all my work; a pen is all I need, and I have learned to balance my time, yes the dissertation needs writing but a pint in hand down the pub, playing pool with mates, another half an hour won’t hurt. If you could drop these round on Christmas eve for me:
As 2010 draws to a close, it seems fitting to indulge in a spot of cosy nostalgia. And by that, I mean looking back over the last year in fashion, judging harshly and poking fun at some of the weird and wonderful creations in which we adorned ourselves. The year started well, in a flutter of angelic floral tea dresses. Very nice. However, as we end our year in a debauched mash-up of leopard print and velvet one cannot help but wonder what happened along the way... This year has certainly been a journey. Yes, yes, I know that is a cliché but I am going to roll with it. And, as with any journey into uncharted fashion territory, there have been a few potholes and rabbit road kills along the way. The first thing to get caught up in fashion’s eighteen wheeler truck were harem pants. The ill-fitting ones. The ones which clung and constrained your love handles and calves, but then hung like an old man’s jowel around your crotch. Not flattering. You looked as if you had soiled yourself. And soiling yourself is not fashionable. Following in the same vein were jumpsuits. They looked like an oversized babygro. If you had a longer than average torso, your jumpsuit will have given you a wedgie. Or worse, camel toe - fashion’s dirtiest sin. My mother wore one in the late 1980’s when she was pregnant. She couldn’t see her camel toe through her bump so she didn’t care. Ignorance was bliss.
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Dear Father Christmas...
A Look Back at 2010
5.Anna Sui Embellished Dress £870 Net-a-Porter, dazzling Christmas party attire. Kat Jones tion, not too short, not too glammed up, not too outrageous...But the phrase, ‘If you’ve got it, flaunt it’ doesn’t just apply to your figure but to fashion too! If you have style, then why be afraid to push it to the limits just because of a few raised eyebrows. I always love going to London because I can wear whatever I want and no one bats and eyelid, but should I tone my style down just because we live in Norfolk, land of the farmers? I am finally going to have the boobs, brains and balls to wear exactly whatever I god damn want, no matter how many people stare – yes, I am wearing heels during the daytime and you know what? I look fabulous! Melissa Rushworth
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Dear Father Christmas...
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ARTS>WINTER EVENTS Theatre>Theatre Royal>Glyndebourne Opera Last month the Glyndebourne Opera Company’s national tour came to Norwich with performances of several classic and popular operas. La Cenerentola - first performed at the Teatro Valle, Rome in 1817 - visited Norwich Theatre Royal this Autumn to a renowned crescendo and what seemed like an endless standing ovation. Amongst the many dedicated opera fans with posh frocks, ties and suits chitterchattering excitedly as the orchestra began to assemble, it’s easy to feel out of place as a student, arriving a little late with scruffy hair, baggy trousers and a bottle of Summer Fruits Oasis in your hand. As a first time opera attendee it isn’t hard to assume they are long, boring and confusing performances where singing could potentially become irritating, and romance just that bit too overdramatic. It’s a common student consensus that the opera is for the middle classes or the elderly quite simply a gig or a Chinese takeaway can be seen as irresistible in contrast. However, this reporter was pleasantly surprised by what Glyndebourne had to offer and left pretty impressed, so much so as to be contemplating seeing another (although perhaps dressing a little smarter next time). Having spoken to a couple of audience members in the interval, it became clear that opera is an art form where one will often return to. A lady in particular spoke of her husband’s vocation in an opera house back in his youth, where he would often watch the performances back stage. Yet after a lifetime of performances he continues to be an avid fan of opera, though now on the other side
of the curtain. “He still loves the shows. We come often to see them, in fact, I’m not sure we’ll ever tire from them”. Rossini’s La Cenerentola tells the fairy tale of Cinderella, but not exactly as we know it from any pantomime or Disney version. There is a hint of cruelty (perhaps realism) in the way the tale is told, but also a certain warmth and humour with which it is impossible not to appreciate. As Allyson McHardy (Canadian mezzo-soprano and La Cenerentola character) states, “The production gives us a fairy tale, but these are real people having a real experience” The quality of vocals were predictably outstanding and the characterisation was also brilliant. In particular La Cenerentola’s feisty and funny alcoholic father (Don Magnifico, played by Jonathan Veira) was one of whom I felt convincing, comic and engaging. Favourably, La Cenerentola was easy to understand and accessible for all. Although sung in Italian, the subtitles were easy to follow and proved well juxtaposed with the action on stage, so there was time to read what was happening while appreciating the visuals. Overall the performance proved passionate, humorous and enjoyable and made a lovely evening out. Harriet Jones The last of Claudio Monteverdi’s operas The Coronation of Poppea concerns real rather than imaginary events, centering on the eponymous character’s rise from Nero’s mistress to Empress of Rome - via the death of Seneca and the exile of Nero’s wife
Ottavia. The opera opens suprisingly, with Fortuna (in a stunning gold lame costume) and Virtue dressed as a nun engaging in a scuffle over a seat in the stalls. They debate their relative qualities before being interrupted by Amore, who claims supremacy over both in a traditionally extravagant operatic style. We are taken on a journey where the progress of Poppea becomes clear, beginning with the moment that Nero has rejected his wife Ottavia and taken Poppea as his mistress. We see the couple first in bed, which is returned to throughout the production, spelling out the intense relationship between Nero and Poppea. The opera then follows in subsequent acts with Poppea’s rejection of her previous lover Ottone, and her eventual installation as Nero’s wife and Empress. In the crazy world of opera Nero is sung by a female soprano Lucia Curillo (the original would have been a castrato) and this has an interesting but no less impressive effect on the performance.
If you can get past the fact that both leads are female although one is pretending to be a man, then the opera makes an enjoyable evening performance. The singing was tremendous throughout apart from Ottone (Christopher Ainslie) whose voice wasperhaps lacked the force necessary for this stage and his role. However, Seneca (sung by Paolo Battaglia), in contrast was electrifying. The minimal staging and modern, very beautiful costumes set the scene for a great evening and it is a tribute to Glyndebourne that they also managed to stage a completely believable murder in a bath full of water with barely a drop of water spilt! The production was clearly a huge success given the enthusiastic response from the audience at the final curtain, and this reporter certainly agrees that despite some minor flaws the performance is deserving of such praise. Imogen Steinberg
Poetry>Norwich Arts Centre>Luke Wright Luke Wright is as close as you can get to a celebrity in the world of poetry, and when one sees him walk around, it can be easy to assume he is something of a moving statue of bravado and one-liners. At his recent show entitled The Petty Concerns of Luke Wright, he introduced Tim Clare as a warm-up act and told the audience he feared he will be up-staged by the support. Having seen Clare at Word of Mouth recently, he pretty much made the crowd fall in love with him. However, this time he was noted as slightly less impressive so perhaps this was an attempt to place Wright on top. After a break, Wright appeared again, heading over to a nearby laptop to fiddle with leads as his computerised introduction was soundless. He went on to describe this show as an exploration of “ego, ambition and humility.” The statue
was about to show his cracks. The show began with a familiar tale of his skinny jean days, kicking off the telling of his journey to success and wanting to be a ‘star.’ Mixing in comedic anecdotes with sympathetic story-telling and, of course, the poetry. He comments on the MySpace fame culture with Thanx 4 the Ad; the importance of Manchester mentor Mr. Blank; and his own failures and frustrations with self in Luke’s Got a Joke. There are enough jokes to keep you laughing, yet still poignant moments of beauty and vulnerability, for example, as he tells the audience of fellow performance poet David J asking him “what you trying to forget?” The evening progresses like a scrap book with photographs on the backdrop, alongside comments found Googling himself; he reveals “under the chipped nail
varnish of my life, were the same bitten fingernails.” In an attempt to grow-up, with a wife and baby on board, we get Mondeo Man and a recital of a section of Philip Larkin’s Dockery & Son. Wright concludes that you can’t change who you are, but maybe you can dilute it, asking the audience to Raise a Glass with the final poem. Perhaps the best way to judge a performance of poetry is whether, when lying in bed, about to close your eyes, you reach for the phone and type in lines of your own attempts at poetry. Whether that happens, well, you’ll just have to see for yourself. Carmina Masoliver-Marlow Credit: Martin Figura
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You might not think it possible to perform 17 plays in only 3 nights. Some UEA Drama students have proved otherwise; the Shorts production from Minotaur Theatre Company has done just that. The 17 shorts have been written and performed by UEA Drama students, and as you might expect, one of the greatest strengths of the plays is their originality. Away from limitations of more conventional theatre – itself a more adventurous genre of expression as compared to other mediums such as film – the imagination of the students can really show itself. This imagination takes the plays in markedly different directions, evidenced in just the first night of performances, which Concrete attended. Magic at Midnight by Natalie Lester has a love triangle between the main characters, and comedy ensues,
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Charlotte LeCorgne Imogen Steinberg
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with drama sprinkled in, up until the ‘aww’ ending. By contrast Obsession by Emma Macklusky is a dark look into the origins of psychological disorders, explored through character monologues accompanied by mimes representing their inner thoughts and feelings. Having watched Ellipsis by Joe Wright all the way through, the central meaning of this play - about a man shut in a room alone, with a typewriter - is still not entirely clear, but that’s not a bad thing. The existential-esque theme of this short was carried on by Getting On by Marianka Swain, where two people are convinced they are in two different locations – as it turns out, neither of them is right. Notable mention, however, goes to the musical about vegetables, Veg Side Story by Ellie Scarfe. A good wallop sillier than anything else on the first night, it puts familiar character archetypes, such as the quarrelling brothers, and turns them into vegetables. Literally. Away from limitations of more conventional theatre – itself a more adventurous genre of expression as compared to other mediums such as film – the imagination of the students can really show itself. The acting of the production was, on the whole, very good. At times, especially when a silent performance was demanded of the actors, it showed some weaknesses as a result of the more demanding style. However on the whole the acting pulled together very well crafted plays, and showed, with excellent costumes and sets, the originality of UEA students at its finest. Stephen Pester
inarticulacy during the faster ensembles, Chess impresses with its intriguingly complex plot, original costumes and outstanding performances and was a highly entertaining production overall.
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tour because of its more adult content. This choreography, combined with the lighting design, reminds the audience of the play’s ‘80s setting. Whilst Chess’ Cold War theme is still prominent in world history, the show’s softer love story is able to come to the foreground in this contemporary performance. Although occasionally let down by
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second act. It is narrated by the arbiter (David Erik), who appears to control all the actor-musicians, who wear innovatively designed, chess-piece inspired costumes by Christopher Woods. Woods is also responsible for the set design, which remains constant and relatively simple in order to allow the narrative to take centre stage. However, the moving video wall and the light box in the centre of the stage cleverly convey the rectilinear movements made by chess pieces. These chess-like movements are further emphasised through the original choreography by Craig Revel Horwood (famous choreographer and judge on Strictly Come Dancing). His direction places the political metaphor of the show in the background while the audience focuses more on the relationships of characters. The beginning of Act Two, showing us a western idea of Bangkok, breaks the black and white colour scheme with elaborate gold costumes. The risqué performance introduces the new setting of a seedy part of the city. However, Horwood’s choreography has been toned down since the start of the
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Originally opening in 1986, Chess is ostensibly a musical which follows the rivalry of two men competing not only for the title of World Chess Champion but also for the heart of the same woman. However, this plot is also a facade masking the underlying issues of the international relations between America and Russia during the Cold War period. Written by Benny Andersson and Bjorn Ulvaeus, there is a clear ABBA influence in many of the songs and even a comic cameo from one of their hits. In addition to the strong score are lyrics by the iconic Tim Rice, creator of some of the best known musicals of all time. The love interest, Florence, is brilliantly portrayed by Shona White of Wicked, The Rocky Horror Show, and Mamma Mia. Playing the American competitor is James Fox, whose vocal talents have taken him from representing the UK in the Eurovision song contest to conquering the West End and Broadway. His Russian opponent, Anatoly, is played by Daniel Koek whose impressive vocal range stole the show. The show begins in Merano, Italy, and moves to Bangkok, Thailand, in the
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The Beach at Night
That Space Between
“...who built/So spacious, and his Line strecht out so far;/ That Man may know he dwells not in his own...” Raphael, Paradise Lost
The crunch of mandibles on bone. The lengthening shadow of hell at the foot of your bed. The most beautiful girl, the most handsome guy – Walking out on you in a blaze of accusation and disappointment. A knife in your back at the hand of your oldest friend.
From the dunes to the shore his eyes adjust almost immediately. Blackness blinks like a negative and collects into impressions of light. A sheet of glass slides silently over the sand, cut harshly at the edges, transparency betraying its crystal interior. Sea: I saw lightning hit the sand near here. It was a bloodless wound, a scar gristled around a puck of ichor. He stands with a girl, not his girl, the wrong girl. Dark figures static amongst wind and waves. The tide is quiet now, and fragile. Sea: I’ve looked the moon in the face for as long as forever, now. But she still has a sway over me. Lunacy! Seals come here, they bite people. Shall we take a midnight swim? Sea: Of course not. You know she’s just the replacement. Walking in the dark is like breathing. He feels like he should go on forever, unmarked. But sometimes it gets easily quickened, gathering salt in the creases, crystallising between the veins. Four footfalls plunged and erased. Is everyone drawn to the coast so compulsively at a time like this? Like when he used to imagine the chalk doors of home from the shores of France. At least this way he can look at the horizon and know he’s facing towards her. Sea: But you could look the other way and if you go far enough you’d get to her anyway. A boot stamp into retreating shards. Boat lights teeter on the horizon. Sea: I am old. This time between you and her is a grain of sand. To evaporate. He would give anything to evaporate, billow, and hurricane across the earth. To rain down into her every pore, stream through her hair. Why did God make the world so big? Sea: So you wouldn’t forget him.
The sunrise at dawn as it splashes over the lake. The most beautiful girl, the most handsome guy – Walking in, taking that seat beside you. An eternal night in the pub with every friend you ever made, And I mean the real ones – the ones who really mattered. Where is that space between? What is it we do – eyes closed, thrust into someplace else – The brain serves you up all these things you didn’t even order, No charge – only that you must live through them, Watch as your dreams and nightmares are played out before your eyes. A cinema inside, a movie made just for you. And whatever it is, whatever happens, you watch, and watch – James Sykes
Dream Thoughts trickle down the walls of my mind, Collapsing in to stagnant water. Striking collisions play a painful discord. The weak are filtered, The strong, mollified. Until the moon settles them under her starry blanket, Inviting her colourful images to weave around their rigid boundaries. Sula Deane
Ella Chappell
Carols
in the
Square
With the band of the Salvation Army and the UEA Rock Gospel Choir led by Chaplain, Revd. Darren Thornton Come and join us singing traditional Christmas carols, followed by a glass of mulled wine.
Weds 15th Dec | 6pm | The Square
Brought to you by......
in association with The Chapliancy
Creative writing
07DEC10 ISSUE 249
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Live Literature Special
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This issue, we decided to turn an eye to Norwich’s burgeoning live literature scene....
INTERVIEW
Do you think there is a distinction between performance poetry and written poetry? John: Only to people who read or watch lots of poetry. Most people who come to watch Aisle16 come because it’s funny and it takes them on a journey. They don’t come and think “well this isn’t really poetry”. Luke: Obviously some things work better on the page, some things work better in performance - there’s no denying that. For me, the best poetry works on the page and in performance. I like poetry which gets me in the gut but it doesn’t have to be cheap, it needs that immediacy. But then Larkin does that - and he reads well on the page!
Talking of hip-hop, do you think that what you do makes poetry more relevant, more contemporary? John: I think so. Watching poetry, it is the contemporariness, the pop-culture references, which I enjoy. Luke: I think it takes less to train an audience to listen to poetry than it is to read. It takes time to learn to read those nuances of voice, the subtlety of it. With a performer, you can see all those nuances right there on stage. Poets like Luke Kennard, I prefer them in performance. I read his poems and think I can’t wait to hear him read that. I think that’s the definition of good poetry.
Confessions of a Performance Poet It was four years ago that I went to my first poetry ‘open mic’ at Battersea Arts Centre run by Apples and Snakes; the leading organisation for performance poetry in the UK. My only experience of performance poetry at this stage was the AQA Anthology event with poets such as Benjamin Zephaniah, John Agard, and current poet laureate Carol Ann Duffy. I had never thought about performing my own work but a friend insisted I go along. Performers read from behind a bar that was closed for business. Most people who have met me would often describe me as shy, and although I remember being nervous this first time, from the moment I took the microphone, I became addicted. Second to writing poetry, reading poetry to an audience seems like the most natural thing in the world. I couldn’t explain why I do either of these activities, other than I can’t not do them. Some people don’t understand why anyone
would write poetry, but I don’t understand why everyone isn’t doing it. I spent a lot of time going to Farrago events, where I have been given featured slots, despite never winning the ‘slams’ held there. At my first featured performance, Scroobius Pip took part in the slam, and he sent me a MySpace message saying he enjoyed my set (which I also won a Zoo Award for). Since these early days, I have performed featured sets at events in London and Norwich, including support slots for Francesca Beard and Kate Tempest. At UEA I have also organised a couple of events in the Hive as part of LitSoc. I enjoy Norwich’s clubs as much as anyone, but nothing can compare to the buzz of live literature; so if you’ve never been, get inspired, go and see some poetry! Carmina Masoliver
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You performed at Latitude and it’s been said that “poetry is the new rock and roll”. Do you think that’s true? Luke: That was just a phrase put about by the Poetry Society in 1997 to try and make poetry seem cool. They put up a list of 20 rock and roll poets, the most rock and roll of which are Simon Armitage and Carol Ann Duffy. I think Armitage was pretty pleased with that. So it was a phrase which followed poetry around but no, of course it’s not. John: For one thing, rock and roll is better. Luke: I did an interview where they asked me if poetry was the new hip-hop. It’s just one element of it.
Aisle16 celebrating ten years of poetry performance
Creative Writing Events Tuesday December 7th Hisham Matar in conversation with Prof. Chris Bigsby - The author of the Man Booker shortlisted novel In the Country of Men, will be visiting the University on Tuesday 7 December. Supported by the Booker Prize Foundation, the book was sent to all new University of East Anglia undergraduate and postgraduate students in an international initiative aimed at encouraging students to read contemporary fiction. This event takes place at 6.30 in the Thomas Paine Study Centre lecture theatre. The event is free but you can register your interest in advance by emailing literaryevents@uea.ac.uk.
Wednesday December 8th Bare Feet Records Cabaret at The Birdcage - Featuring poetry, spoken word and music from a variety of talented acts across the Norwich scene. From 7:30pm at The Birdcage, 23 Pottergate, Norwich.
Monday December 13th Mistletoe and Whine - UEA’s Creative Writing Society present their final Open Mic of the year from 7:30pm in the Grad Bar, upstairs from the Hive. Come along for some festive fun and feel free to dress festively!
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What were the early shows like? Were they well-attended or was it the proverbial two men and their dog? John: We had the benefit of being in the Creative Writing society so we could just go out and say “look here we are, this is what we do”. We already had that ready-made audience there so it was just a case of getting out there and doing our stuff.
You mention the funny and that’s often the stereotype of performance poetry - that it’s stand-up comedy which rhymes. Do you incorporate elements of stand-up into your performances? John: (laughs) Well I don’t think I do any stand-up in my performances. Luke: But you are very amusing and I think that’s the key. I do talk in between my poems but I don’t consider it stand-up. I think it allows me tonally to do something very interesting. It’s more of ‘An Evening with….’. I think of us more as being raconteurs. John: If anyone described us as raconteurs in a review, I’d be delighted.
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Why set up a poetry performance collective? Luke: Well at first, it was more of a club where we would be able to do our stuff without being sneered at by some of the more traditional poetry elements. It was never the plan for us to become this freewheeling band of poets. We would go on before bands and get bottled off. But in 2002, we took ourselves to Edinburgh and started calling ourselves Aisle16 and it just grew from there.
to
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Ten years ago, some UEA students decided to put on a poetry night in a room above a Norwich city centre pub. It proved the launch pad for an unparalleled level of success and creativity that has firmly pushed Norwich further up the literary rankings for both poetry and prose. Since then its members have expanded to seven, all UEA graduates and are acknowledged as “highlights of the spoken word scene” by The Sunday Times.
Aisle16,
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and John Osborne, two members of discuss the group’s ten years at the top of performance scene......
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ROBERT VAN EGGHEN met with Luke Wright
07Dec10 ISSUE 249
concrete.tvdigital@uea.ac.uk
PrimeTime - Peep Show
television
Download - The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Channel 4, Friday, 10pm
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There’s something so inherently British about embarrassment; it’s a national tradition, like Cricket, the weather and Terry Wogan. So much of our national sense of humour is based on the concept of mental self-flagellation, and Peep Show blossoms forth from this nationwide neurosis. Starring nerd-hero David Mitchell and his comedy partner Robert Webb as Mark and Jeremy, a pair of socially inept thirtysomethings, the show tracks the loves, losses and low points of their turbulent 21st century lives. Now back for its seventh Series, both continuity and change are afoot for the troublesome twosome; Mark (Mitchell) is coming to terms with becoming a father for the first time, whilst Jeremy (Webb) continues on his hopeless hunt for sexual and musical fulfilment.
Peep Show’s strength as a sitcom doesn’t simply lie in its outrageous situations, but in its unique use of POV camerawork and Mark and Jeremy’s internal thought monologues, voice-overs allowing us access to the characters’ darkest and most private of thoughts. Both add a sense of personality and new layers of humour to the show, and the monologues open up a whole spectrum of potential for fresh, engaging laughs, commonly at the expense of the dignity of the lead characters. It provides a style of comedy that its fans simply cannot get elsewhere on TV. Rejoice then, that Peep Show seems to be hanging around for the foreseeable future, with its seventh series making it the longest running sitcom in Channel 4’s history. An honour well deserved. Matt Tidby
What have we been up to?
Available on 40d and iTunes There is no denying that The Daily Show is a cult hit; this satirical news show found on Comedy Central in the US recently drew over 200,000 people to its mock political rally. Even though it’s joked that the core audience is made up of students and stoners, Jon Stewart in particular has become someone referenced and taken seriously by real news pundits. The show not only covers ludicrous things happening in current news, but also the hypocritical behaviour of politicians and the biased coverage of the news stations that they parody. Not to give the wrong impression, though, it is light-hearted and sometimes far from mature with silly gags, puns and mock interviews, but the implications of these things are often rather.
One specific target for the show is the American channel Fox, owned by Rupert Murdoch that has uber-conservative Republican views, shown clearly through the misrepresentation (and manipulation!) of stories and political happenings, that its presenters and pundits give. You could say that Stewart is a kind of a watchdog for the media. On top of it all, The Daily Show is also a commercial launching pad. It gave Steve Carrell, Rob Corrdry and Ed Helms their careers, and Steven Colbert a mock-conservative spin-off show of his own. Stewart also interviews celebrities, politicians and academics on his show, giving a mix of faces you may or may not know. It’s safe to say that if Barack Obama has been on the show more than once, it’s an important place to be. Natalie Stephenson
sent
re 3 Rep
Dan - Community & Student Rights Officer
Rachel - Academic Officer Rob - Finance Officer
Tom - Communications Officer
As well as focussing on individual campaigns and projects, the Full Time Student Officers have all been heavily focused on organising The BIG Fees Debate , gathering signatures for the petition, working on the Student Union Evaluation Initiative (SUEI) and organising Union Council.
Campaigns &Democracy
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television Christmas Boxsets
Here’s our pick of the ultimate boxsets that you can’t be without this Christmas.
Father Ted
Laura Stevens
Gossip Girl
a feeling that the show has outlasted its welcome. The humour is largely based on the absurd situations the characters find themselves in, not least the extended Christmas special, which includes Ted leading a group of ‘lost’ priests out of a lingerie department, as well as him receiving his ‘Golden Cleric’ award. Generally, it is inoffensive humour that won’t fail to raise a smile or two come Christmas Day!
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Go on, go on, go on, give the Father Ted box set a go! Initially, the premise of three priests and their housekeeper on a remote Irish island may not sound all that appealing.. Yet look at the characters and you find Ted, the well meaning priest; Dougal, his gormless companion; and the persistently drunk Father Jack and their ever present housekeeper Mrs Doyle. Who would have thought repeating two words in succession could bring such humour! Only three seasons were ever produced, ensuring that there is never
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take potentially two dimensional comedy characters and give them vulnerability. Venue can guarantee after just a few episodes you won’t be able to stop watching; joining in on sneaky jokes against Gareth, or yearning desperately for receptionist Dawn to admit her love for co-worker Tim. It’s sharp, witty, and in some places just painfully cringe-worthy. What defines The Office above all of this, is its undeniable heart.
Phil Turtle
24
Michael Lovelock
Spaced Buy the box set of cult classic Spaced and you’ll be initiated into a special world, one that will change the way you see BacoFoil forever. Based around the simple problem of two strangers who can’t find a decent flat alone, Tim (Simon Pegg) and Daisy (Jessica Stevenson) pretend to be a ‘professional couple’ to rent a flat off Marsha. Marsha happens to like drinking in the morning and has a thing for Brian, the tortured artist who lives downstairs.
Every episode is a joy to behold, with witty one liners and pop references galore, you’ll feel smugly satisfied once you’ve recognised all the films each episode is styled after. Even though it was only two seasons long, Spaced always feels new and fresh every time you watch it. It is extremely relevant to any twenty-something’s living together and well worth buying on box set, just make sure you get some Jaffa Cakes in ! Kate Allen
After a day of frantically opening presents and stuffing faces with ridiculous amounts of turkey and all the trimmings, all anyone wants to do is have some good quality ‘family time’. However, there are many people who would rather do anything but sit around and play board games while making idol conversation; it is for these people that 24 is the perfect gift. The recent release of the eighth series on DVD provides the final TV outing for the day-in-the-life of Jack Bauer and, although
CTU might have moved location at the end of the sixth series, 24 still has all the classic elements which make it as addictive as ever. While, for once, Kim manages to last without being kidnapped and most of the original characters have been killed off, Kiefer Sutherland delivers an incredibly intense performance to ensure that the series does not dwindle before its ending. Helen Eaton
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every move on a scathing website. In fact, so much has happened in the show’s four seasons that the DVD box sets provide the perfect excuse to escape into the glamorous world of the Upper East Side. Why not relive the bitching, sex tapes, affairs,gorgeous designer fashions, cameos from a plethora of celebrities and even performances from the likes of Robyn and Lady Gaga, over and over again?
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Gossip Girl, the stateside phenomenon that took the UK by storm when it aired three years ago. It is one of the most satisfyingly decadent guilty pleasures to hit TV screens in recent years. The show centres around the dramatic and duplicitous shenanigans of a group of rich and ridiculously beautiful young people in New York City, including Queen Bee Blair; party-girl Serena; hunky Nate and nymphomaniac billionaire Chuck, watched over by Gossip Girl herself, an anonymous narrator who records their
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The Office box set consists of two series and two Christmas specials. It follows the everyday lives of manager David Brent and his workers in Slough based company ‘Wernham Hogg’. The combination of relatable characters and true to life dialogue with a ‘mockumentary’ filming style makes a welcome change from your typical sitcom. Though you will probably spend a lot of time screaming at Brent’s screen antics, he’s somehow incredibly difficult to hate. Venue can only put this down to Gervais and Merchants writing, they
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The Office
The market for rhythm action games exploded around five years ago with the release of the first Guitar Hero game and, since then, has been flooded with games from both the previous GH team Harmonix (who now make the Rock Band series) and the current developers Neversoft. Many critics may argue that the market is now oversaturated and nothing new is being added; however, with the release of Rock Band 3, we saw the addition of a keytar and the promise of a realistic guitar controller that can actually teach people how to play. Warriors of Rock does not quite bring the excitement of new instruments or re-invent the genre, however, it does offer a lot more than some of the previous titles. The major new addition is the oneplayer main mode that, instead, of being in the form of a career, is now a ‘Quest’. The basic story is that the ‘warriors’ (all your old favourite rockers from other GH games) have to join together to save rock music using their powers, which include gaining
Faye Fullalove
random). This makes the gameplay quite difficult as you need to master power chords for some songs, fast hammer-ons and fiddley solos for others, and good luck to anyone attempting ‘Sudden Death’ by Megadeth, which was specifically written to be the last song in the Quest mode and is insanely difficult! However, the game does feature some
- Varied setlist - New additions to mix up a stale genre - Tons to unlock and high score! -Great for hardcore GH fans!
The Bad
In Dead Space 2 the concept from the first game remains: hack and shoot your way through mutated husks that were once men in order to survive. It is also still set in space although engineer Isaac Clarke, the protagonist who makes a reappearance in this sequel, has left the ‘Planet-Cracker’ starship USG Ishimura and has arrived at an enormous space station comparable to Bespin, but with more monsters and less Lando. The monsters, or Necromorphs, are still defeated by removing any of the enemy’s many mutated limbs, whilst damage caused to the torso will have little
effect. To put things in perspective: the Ishimura had a crew of 1,332. In an interview, one developer has said “the Sprawl will have a population of over one million people – all of them ripe for infection by the rampaging Necromorphs.” A few things are apparent from what little we’ve seen of the game so far. Isaac will be back in his ‘RIG’ suit – one of the nicer touches to the original Dead Space. Isaac is controlled in the third person, and everything that would normally clutter the screen on a HUD is instead on
http://www.instantsfun.es/ True Lad In the vein of FML, little stories submitted by users about ‘lads’. Sometimes crude, sometimes idiotic, sometimes unbelievable but pretty much always funny. http://www.truelad.com/ First Person Tetris A new twist (you’ll get that awful pun when you play) on an old classic. With a choice of music and a great retro background this is a very easy way to waste some time. http://www.firstpersontetris.com/
A lovely blog about everyday life, with hand-drawn ‘MSPaint’ drawings illustrating the stories and enhancing the humour. Look out for April’s “The Alot is better than you at everything” and March’s “6 fake advertisements based on real products”.
- Varied setlist - Not the best for newcomers - No new plastic instrument to master.
for Dead Space 2 as well. The most remarkable new feature so far is the inclusion of a multiplayer mode. These four-on-four matches will see teams of engineers, like Isaac, going up against a variety of Necromorphs, all player controlled. Maps are objective based, and, after one team has won, the roles are reversed, similar to Left 4 Dead. Or perhaps… Left 4 Dead Space? Anyway, Engineers can use tools and weapons, stomp and perform melee attacks. Interestingly, the Engineers will also be able to use the Stasis ability seen in the single player. Like in L4D, players will be able to control a range of Necromorphs with different abilities. One is even called the ‘Spitter’. To sum up: this is Dead Space on a far bigger scale, and is definitely worth looking out for. William Moran
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Twitter Gems
Some of the best, most interesting or just downright funny people tweeting right now! @RottenTomatoes The Twitter side to the popular website rottentomatoes.com. Up-to-date film reviews and scores not just from critics but from the public too! Will the blockbuster you yearn to see be a ‘Fresh Tomato’ or will it wilt and be rotten to the core. Only one way to find out! @TheOnion America’s best satirical news source has found its way onto twitter. Some of the most professionally made news stories you will ever see or read with extensive use of cringeworthy puns and wordplay. Definitely worth a follow. @Queen_UK Ever wondered what the queen would tweet if she was on Twitter? Well ,wonder no more as someone else has stepped into her shoes to deliver royal nuggets of fun to the people. Witty and always on top of current events, what more would you expect from the Queen?
Already, everybody is living in ‘The Information Age’, an age where you can get whatever you want, whenever you want. The Internet follows us everywhere, it’s on our phones, MP3 players, laptops, and even our televisions. However, this new found Internet-based freedom comes at a cost, Digital Rights Management (DRM). DRM restricts what someone can do with a certain piece of software or website, it limits people in the freedom of the ‘Information Age’ to what corporations want their customers to be doing with their products. If anything, it gives businesses more power than they have ever had before. DRM is there to help protect the intellectual property (IP) of companies. Meaning they can protect themselves from unfavourable circumstances claiming misuse by end users. However it crosses the boundaries of what is protected by copyright laws and actually restricts customers using their legally purchased material in a fair way, i.e. making a back up copy of a DVD, audio CD or even uploading works and images onto filehosts. DRM won’t effect everybody’s life to the same degree. For many it will be the limits of what Facebook allows you to upload onto the web, and for some it will be having to be continually connected to the Internet to validate a game you bought. The problems begin to arise when DRM restricts the freedoms of speech which, in this day and age, everybody should have rights to. One recent, and high profile, case involved the website WikiLeaks, a website
COMPS that unveils high profile government secrets to the public. Last week WikiLeaks unveiled secret conversations between world leaders that revealed a lot of hidden diplomatic secrets, that had the potential to damage current American foreign policy. Although this leak is potentially damaging to American foreign policy and for many other international relations, surely it’s something which Joe Public should have every right to know about. Amazon seem to think not.
Amazon, who provided the webspace for WikiLeaks, decided after all the controversy to pull the website, without informing or asking WikiLeaks founder, Julian Assange. Because of DRM, Amazon had the power to cull free speech and break its contract with WikiLeaks. This is the second time that Amazon
has used DRM to encroach freedoms. In mid-2009 Amazon removed many books, ironically including George Orwell’s 1984, from its Kindle devices because they had no copyright for them. This would be fine, however, it also removed them from Kindle owners who had paid for the content the first time around. DRM can be further used in the music industry as ‘music protection’. Burnt onto many discs is protection that allows for music to be only ripped once, or not at all. This means consumers have to either use free download codes to ‘purchase’ the digital files, or they have to listen to the CD through an authorised playback device. The shame is many of these CDs are only Windows compatible, completely closing off the Mac market. Of course companies say they are protecting the consumer from illegal content, and protecting themselves from the piracy market. However, why target those who already pay for their content? There are many public bodies calling for an end to DRM by changing its name to Digital Restrictions Management (to make it clearer to the public), and to ensure that it never becomes an acceptable law, as currently it is not a legal requirement for DRM to be implemented. Hopefully, in coming years, the need for DRM will diminish as publishers find alternative methods to curb the illegal download culture without effecting those who lawfully use their content. Vaughn Highfield
Skype
Ultramon
Print Conductor
If you are the university student who wants to spend more time talking to their old friends or still trying to make the daily phone call to your parents then Skype provides a free, simple solution. As long as both of you and those you wish to talk to have Skype, a microphone and some speakers, you can now chat for hours on end at absolutely no cost. What is more, with the latest instalment, (version 5.0) there is video conferencing, so now you can interact with all your friends simultaneously live over webcam from the comfort of your room.
Ultramon is an almost necessary program for those with multiple computer monitors. It gives you a taskbar on each screen, allows you to send windows from one screen to another with a simple click of a button; it allows you to set up your wallpapers and screensavers as you want them, be it one image stretched across multiple screens, or an image on each. You can save these settings, along with the position of desktop icons, a handy feature even for those with only one screen, allowing you to switch between profiles on the fly. Although a free version of a slightly more advanced program, Ultramon manages to provide all the features that anyone with multiple monitors could ever need.
Ever had a deadline you just barely reached because you had to wait for Word to open, load the file, tell the printer to print and then you discover the printer has decided to throw a hissy fit. We’ve all been there at least once in our university life. Print Conductor can’t stop your printer from throwing a tantrum but it certainly can make printing files off it so much easier. No longer will you have the worry of Word crashing and taking essay down with it! With Print Conductors easy to use system you can browse files and print them without having to even open them. It can print a number of files. It may not be revolutionary but it could just save your grade.
The product that got Amazon in trouble originally.
Free and Easy
http://www.skype.com Jason Parr-Morley
http://www.realtimesoft.com/ultramon/ Jason Parr-Morley
http://www.print-conductor.com/ Vaughn Highfield
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A collection of buttons to press that make different sounds, most of which you will recognise. Favourites include ‘balls of steel’ and ‘keyboard cat’.
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/
Incoming: Dead Space 2 Isaac’s suit. The Church of Unitology will be making a reappearance, with some scenes appearing to take place inside their churches, and, most importantly, Isaac is still an engineering badass. For those who haven’t played the first game, the beauty of Dead Space is that there are almost always multiple options when under attack. You might choose to hang back and use some of your more powerful, ranged weaponry to dismember the Necromorphs from afar. Alternatively, if you’re running low on ammunition, have no choice or are just that way inclined, you can have Isaac get up close and personal with them. Melee attacks, delivered with real force, are excellent. Isaac will stomp on enemies, swing equipment at them or, in some cases, perform more special, scripted ass kickings – although these awesome sequences may cost you in terms of health. Indeed, the combat in the original game was fun and intense but not particularly scary. At best, the interludes between fights were tense and always atmospheric. This looks set to be the case
Instants! Fun
Hyperbole and a Half
The Good now there are song specific challenges you can complete, such as getting a high score, a large streak or even hitting a certain number of blue notes. There is also a rank system that you can work your way up by collecting stars from the song challenges, which unlocks more venues, character and other content. Another minor feature, but one that is much appreciated is that you
Fun links to pass the time between socialising and learning.
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One of the many ‘Warriors of Rock’ you unleash in the all new Quest mode
silly cut scenes that you cannot skip and has a whole (albeit not that long) chapter devoted to Rush that is not going to be to everyone’s taste. It is also probably not the game to start with if you are new to wielding a plastic guitar, as many of the song challenges are difficult and have to be completed on expert in order to earn the highest grade. Some of the songs included are also relatively unknown and pointlessly difficult and this can make the Quest a chore to finish. The game offers you the chance to play as a band or by yourself on not just guitar but also bass, drums and as a vocalist (Bohemian Rhapsody anyone?), and there is downloadable content available as well as the option to export songs from other GH games into the song library. Like all games in this genre, it is great for casual and party play, and, depending on your opinion of the setlist, a valuable game to add to your collection if you are a fan of rhythm action.
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can see how far you are through a song while playing, which is useful for working out whether you are going to manage to get your five stars on a song or not! The soundtrack is very varied, with heavy metal (Rammstein, Dillinger Escape Plan, Avenged Sevenfold) through to pop punk (My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, Nickelback), which can be seen as a positive (a nice range) or negative (unfocused and
Digitally Acceptable?
Http://
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bonus stars for long streaks and a higher multiplier, and even the ability to ‘resurrect’ yourself if you fail on a song. The Quest mode is of a satisfying length and also allows you to change difficulty throughout, something other GH titles don’t allow. This has previously caused major frustration when there is one song near the end you cannot complete on hard! The Quickplay option has also had an overhaul, whereby
7/10
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Review: Guitar Hero: Warriors Of Rock
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GULLIVER’S TRAVELS
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George Gilbert
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DVD RELEASES DINNER FOR SCHMUCKS
PIRANHA 3D Director: Alexandre Aja Release Date: 27/12/10
Not for the faint of heart, Piranha relishes the chance to mix zombie-style theatrics with bikini bodies and obnoxious college students. If you missed out on the 3D version in the cinema then the 2D DVD version still makes a splash. Although not as charming as horror genius Joe Dante’s original Piranha (1978), it is not without its own merits. Piranha (2010) has more gore, silly science and a lot more boobs. It’s spring break and the quiet town of Lake Victoria is suddenly host to 50,000 drunk college students looking for some fun in the
Director: Jay Roach Release Date: 4/1/11
sun. Piranha lulls you into a false sense of security with a traditional trashy soft porn sub-plot and a fortunate/ unfortunate (depending on what you like) underground tremor releasing some very hungry piranhas intent on joining the party. The classic doughnut of death reappears and it’s just as effective as in the original movie; thankfully with a bigger budget comes more extras so no repeat shots of injured swimmers reaching
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The biggest challenge in the development of The Way Back must have been fitting such an epic journey into a feature length film. Based on a memoir written by Slavomir Rawicz depicting his journey from a gulag in Siberia across Asia and India to freedom, all by foot, the journey is certainly epic. Character development is slow but feels realistic by avoiding allowing the characters’ sense of camaraderie to grow too easily. The film makes its impact through a series of subtle yet striking scenes depicting the deaths of four of the escapees. In one of
these scenes one of the men is found frozen to death just metres away from the camp fire, doomed by his night blindness However the most exciting element of The Way Back are the beautiful locations, especially the scenes in Siberia. The isolated and beautiful scenery serves as an incredible atmosphere to the transformation of the escapees from civilised people to primeval caveman-like animals willing to do anything to survive. Although this may not quite do justice to the original voyage due to its length restrictions The Way Back is a refreshing and captivating tale of a fantastic bid for freedom.
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Director:Peter Wier Release Date: 26/12/10
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Jack Black, the slimmer half of Tenacious D (it’s true!), reprises the idiot-cumprankster routine that we’ve seen increasingly since his attempt to do a serious role in 2005’s King Kong, in this comedy flick very loosely based on Jonathan Swift’s book of the same title. The picture hangs together on a straightforward ‘boymeets-girl-and-bettershimself’ plot, though the main attraction is the star thumping his way through a variety of tiny villages. If you thought the regular Jack Black was irritating, just wait ‘til you see the supersize Black overshadowing
an entire community of islanders, whilst burping out taglines like “President the awesome!” Even if you’re not Black’s biggest fan, the main problem with the film is the script, which even considering it’s supposed to be a silly, child-friendly picture, isn’t tight enough – pretty much all of Swift’s commentary and satire is lost in favour of the standard big-crash-wallop-smackfart-joke routine. Not being true to Swift’s vision isn’t in itself a major crime though, and not every scene fails – the odd movie spoof does work – but these are workmanlike in-jokes, and the film could have done with less stardust and more suspense.
the shore. Instead you are treated to many creative piranha wounds; look out for the girl being carried to shore between two guys. Fully enjoying the Jaws parody there is a moment early on in the film where the sheriff considers ‘closing the lake.’ You’ll be pleased she didn’t. Piranha acts as a tribute to the B movies of old and fully embraces the pure silliness of its plot. Kate Allen
Tim (Paul Rudd, Role Models, I love You, Man) is an executive at a financial firm who gets invited to a ‘dinner for schmucks’ (literally a dinner for idiots). The catch is he has to bring along a loony guest in order to get some recognition and a promotion on his job. He befriends Barry (Steve Carell) and convinces him to be a guest at the dinner while putting his love interest on the line, resulting in a series of unfortunate events. Probably the worst ‘comedy’ released this year, Dinner for Schmucks sacrifices every comical
opportunity for screwball excess. The outcome is painfully unfunny at best and irritating at worst. Watching the film you can’t help but wonder what’s worse - the acting or the plot? The only time a laugh is somewhat induced is when confusion abounds during the dinner, at the height of the story. However, as with this remake, Hollywood ends up presenting the story in a disjointed manner that is neither understandable
nor humorous to the viewer. Comedies (or screwball comedies) are not meant to be confusing and uncomfortable; they’re meant to be seasoned enough to produce laughter and enjoyment. Don’t bother investing your money in this film for your DVD collection; you won’t even watch it through before removing the DVD from your player and disposing of it! Lathaniel Dyer
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Steph McKenna
Director: Rob Letterman Release Date: 26/12/10
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As far as Christmas films go, Rare Exports is a bizarre and unpredictable treat. Born from the cult success of two online shorts by director Jalmari Helander, Finland’s highly anticipated present this holiday comes wrapped in a dark and enchanting fusion of fairytale, horror, and black comedy that definitely isn’t suitable for all the family. On December 24th, an excavation team in the Korvatunturi Mountains unearth something old and deeply powerful from underground. Soon a local community find their livelihood destroyed and their naughty children
missing. It’s left up to little bookwise Pietari and his father to save the day, strengthening their fatherson bonds and clinching an usual financial deal in the process. Walking a fine line between the disturbing and outright ridiculous (whoever wrote the English dub clearly had too much eggnog), Rare Exports keeps tensions high for a tight 82 minutes with slaughtered reindeer, evil elves and a mythical, horned St. Nick. It’s a shame to see this impact lapse a little in the final moments, but at least there’s a suitably wholesome Christmas ending to guarantee this film as a staple festive feature for years to come.
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Dir: Jalmari Helander Release Date: 3/12/10
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The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet’s Nest Dir: Daniel Alfredson Release Date: 26/11/10 Stieg Larsson’s crime thriller novels burst onto the best sellers list in 2007, beginning with the now infamous The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. With the film following a year later, the dark Swedish trilogy gathered popularity for the following three years. Now, the final chapter has hit screens this November. Can The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet’s Nest close the story of Lizbeth Salander with as much excitement as it started? Disappointingly, the simple answer would be no. Although certainly a step up from the second,
The Girl Who Played With Fire, the most tedious, of the trilogy, the third instalment still feels like it’s missing the chilling originality of the first. Flitting between dramatic courtroom drama and disconnected conspiracy tale, The Hornet’s Nest seems confused about how many genres it can cram its excessively dense narrative into. Picking up almost immediately after the end of the second film, we now see heroine Salander on trial for the attempted murder of her father. Traumatized after being shot in the head and buried alive, Lizbeth has become even more of a recluse, and with journalist, friend
The American
Director: Anton Corbijn Release Date: 26/11/10 Anton Corbijn’s powerful directorial debut Control, depicting singer Ian Curtis instantly brought him to the fore causing this, his second film, to be eagerly critically anticipated. George Clooney is Jack, a professional killer with a seemingly idyllic, James Bond lifestyle, holed up in a Swiss cabin as the film opens. This illusion is quickly shattered as after an assassination attempt he is ordered to lay low in a remote village in Italy whilst completing the lengthy construction of a specialised weapon. Naturally, once in Italy, a love interest is established in the form of a prostitute Clara and, coupled with a
friendship with the village priest, Jack begins to examine the life he has led thus far. There is an interesting premise of self-examination, but predictable plot twists hamper this thematic development. Clooney brings his usual engaging screen presence, yet his character needs fleshing out, as do the pastiche supporting roles. The film picks up towards its conclusion with a series of wonderfully composed scenes. Once again, however, content is sacrificed for lingering stylistic shots creating a polished, glossy, surface which is more than the sum of its parts. Emily Bater
and former lover Mikael Blomkvist desperately attempting to prove her innocence, time is running
whilst under their care, and you can tell that life has not got any easier for poor Lizbeth Salander.
out. Add in a psychotic half brother who still wants her dead, and an evil Swedish corporation desperate to silence her before she can expose the truth of the sexual abuse she suffered
The film’s 15 certificate is there for a definite reason. The trilogy’s reputation of gritty violence has not been forgotten and The Hornet’s Nest fully delivers on this front. With the brutal and
Monsters
Director: Gareth Edwards Release Date: 3/12/10 The first thing that really needs to be noted in this review is, oddly, if you’re going to see Monsters for the titular ‘monsters’, more than likely you’ll be disappointed. Whilst obvious comparisons can be drawn to high-budget studio efforts such as Cloverfield (2008) and District 9 (2009), this is no big blockbuster monster movie. The story follows journalist Kaulder (Scoot McNairy), as he escorts his boss’ daughter, Sam (Whitney Able) through the ‘Infected Zone’ of Central America, six years after aliens have invaded, making the area their home.
Although it’s hard to believe, first-time British director Gareth Edwards wrote, shot and edited the entire film himself on location, with a very modest budget. Most of the time this isn’t even obvious; the CGI is admirable and serves its purpose well, even if it doesn’t stand up to the likes of Avatar. The two leads should also be praised; their simmering romance is the real attraction here. Make no mistake, there are plenty of massive electric octopus creatures chucking cars around, but they only really serve as a background to the real story of the film; something which is far more potent than your average creature-feature. James Collins
disturbing rape sequence of the first film still resonating, add in one toe-curlingly nasty scene involving a nail gun and audiences everywhere will be wincing! Aesthetically this film cannot be faulted. With gorgeous backdrops and clever camera work the narrative may not thrill the Swedish tourist board but the scenery certainly will. The acting is also brilliant with Noomi Rapace still on stunning form as our protagonist. Once again donning full gothic punk attire for just one courtroom scene, audiences are reminded why she is one of the best antiheroes of this decade. The face of the central villain comes in the form of the abhorrent
Dr. Teleborian, a sadistic paedophile brilliantly played by Anders Ahlborn. In fairness, the downfall of this film is simply that it’s source material is too good. With so much happening in one narrative it’s unsurprising that certain intricacies get lost in translation. Feeling long at 148 minutes, the complexity of this concluding tale may leave viewers simply wishing they’d waited for the American remake (the first of which, directed by David Fincher, is due to hit our screens in December 2011). Better than the second but not quite as good as the first; people might be less disappointed if they stick to the books. Beth Davison
London Boulevard
Dir:William Monahan Release Date: 26/11/10
London Boulevard is the latest edition to the British gangster genre and has a lot to live up to. Directed by the writer of The Departed, London Boulevard tells the tale of Mitchell, played by Colin Farrell, a man newly released from prison, and his attempts to leave behind his former life as a gangster. In doing so, he takes a job working for Charlotte, a reclusive actress (Keira Knightley), with whom he falls in love. But Mob boss Gant (Ray Winstone) is not willing to let him go easily. This film is worth seeing if only for the supporting cast. Anna Friel as Mitchell’s sister and David Thewlis as a film producer
who lives with Charlotte for no apparent reason steal every scene they are in. The film itself is enjoyable, if rather hollow, and it certainly does not add anything to the gangster genre. Mitchell falls back in to the violent underworld too easily for his determination to not return to his old ways at the beginning of the film to ring true, and the film suffers because of a lack of chemistry between Knightley and Farrell. Overall this is an enjoyable film, but does not offer anything that audiences have not seen before. Katy Quigley
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Unstoppable
Director: Joe Carnahan Release Date: 26/11/10
Director:Jon Turteltaub Release Date: 30/11/10
distracted the viewer, but Liam Neeson seems comfortable to reprise his Taken persona of silver-haired ass-kicker whilst adding in some mutterings about ‘the plan’. The characters played by non-superstars are largely marginalized – it’s hard to imagine this BA appearing in a confectionary advert twenty years hence. Even a badly edited and dramatically dead A-Team movie might have been tolerable – after all, going to see the A-Team in any of
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Helen Jones
The Sorcerer’s Apprentice
The A Team
The flat new A-Team movie, which cynics might consider a pointless remake, portrays the titular ‘Alpha Unit’ as a group of Iraq war veterans anxious to clear their names after being framed for a crime they didn’t commit. Incorporating the tropes of the ‘Michael Bay does Transformers’ school of action and peppered with references to the TV original, the set pieces come thick and fast, and are messily edited, often being so frenetic it’s hard to keep track of who is hitting who. These technical flaws could perhaps be overlooked if strong performances
With the popularity of trains in cinema going back decades, Unstoppable steps in to carry the tradition. The tagline, “One million tons of steel. 100,000 people at risk. 100 minutes to impact” alongside the title tells you all you need to know about the very basic plot; a runaway train carrying tanks of chemicals is storming down the tracks in southern Pennsylvania heading for populated areas. It spells disaster. Veteran engineer Frank (Denzel Washington) and young conductor (Chris Pine) act the heroes, putting their lives at risk in an attempt to stop it. The film is incredibly
predictable, from the plot to the main characters. Washington and Pine create a typical duo; at odds with each other to begin with, but who find understanding and friendship when forced together. However the film is well made and doesn’t overdo the cheese so it’s still very watchable. From the very beginning the film does not stop to take a breather with its fast-paced action; the intensity is almost painful, keeping viewers glued to the screen with the constant threat of disaster. Unstoppable does not claim to be anything other than a mindless action film, and there is no point judging it on any other grounds. On this basis, it delivered.
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Dvd Releases
Vimbai Mukwenha
Director: Tony Scott Release Date: 24/11/10
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Machete is ridiculous. Full of sexploitation, mexploitation and goresploitation. That last one may not even be a real word, but that doesn’t matter - Machete doesn’t need a vocabulary. Monolithic in appearance and monosyllabic in speech, protagonist Machete (Danny Treja) is an ex-federal agent formerly employed by the Mexican government. Drug lord Torrez (Steven Seagal) and businessman Michael Benz (Jeff Fahey) set him up in an assassination attempt against a staunch antiimmigration senator, (Robert Deniro). That’s about as much sense as the plot makes.
Jessica Alba and Michelle Rodriguez are well cast as two superficially opposite types of women (the goodcop, bad-immigration officer thing). But despite being more raw material (think quarried rock) than raw sex-appeal, Machete has an inexplicable attraction. Women are either naked, nearly naked or wanting to be naked with him. The point is that this isn’t sexist or racist because it’s so exaggerated, and the film knows it. The film takes inspiration from 1970s B-movies. Brutal one-liners and sincerity are uneasy, not to mention the unnecessarily long running time. Machete is not one for everyone, but it is ridiculous and outrageously entertaining.
its guises expecting good acting and dramatic tension is like going to KFC expecting healthy eating. Therefore it is comfortably the biggest failing of the movie that it is unremittingly dull. A tank flies, a billion dollar’s worth of buildings are blown up and half the USA’s military is wrecked, but it’s hard to care. The original A-Team, was a thin concept, but stretched out to over two bumnumbing hours it’s tough to stomach. George Gilbert
Jerry Bruckheimer’s PGrated production is silly and contrived, driven by clumsy prologue, a disastrous romantic sub-plot and manageable performances from the likeable cast. Set in NewYork City, Dave (Jay Baruchel) plays the part of a typical college nerd who is reluctantly recruited by a master sorcerer (Nicholas Cage) to protect the city from arch nemesis Horvath (Alfred Molina). The loose, fast paced plot serves as an excuse for Turteltaub to adorn the film with CGI enhanced special effects. This, if at all, saves the movie from an otherwise
dire storyline. Furnished with banal humour and a childhood sweetheart cliché, Turteltaub adds in training montages which are a necessity to any magic/action film romp, including a exhilarating sword fight, a steel eagle taking flight from the Chrysler Building and - of course - the car chase. Cage gives a shameful, subdued performance, after his big hey-day in the successful film, The Bad Lieutenant. Perhaps it was
hard to feel inspired working with such a senseless bedlam of a plot. Efforts by Jay Baruchel and Teresa Palmer to add some enchantment were subsequently lost to the CGI fantasy spectacle. For the targeted audience, this family movie provides an easy watch for younger children. Boring and forgettable, it can only be described as perfect television entertainment for Christmas.
Emily Jones
CREATIVE WRITINg
Grace Curruthers
Director: Ethan Maniquis Robert Rodriguez Release Date: 26/11/10
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Dreamworks fails to produce something ground-breaking in Megamind for the superhero genre. The plot details the evil Megamind and heroic Goody-TooShoes continuing their long lasting rivalry. Megamind’s scheming, extraordinarily, goes to plan, defeating his opponent once and for all. Having exhausted his frivolous fun, he falls into a rut of boredom, longing for the return of the excitement from some competition. As a result, he attempts to construct a new hero but the plan soon meets destructive complications. With the city’s safety in danger, the civilians are left in desperate need of a saviour.
The voice-work is perfectly fitting for each of the characters, featuring a particularly outstanding performance from Will Ferrell, whose villainous voice delivers the witticism of the script with comical precision. Megamind delivers some surprising shocks and titillating twists, but the ending fails to exhibit originality as evil stereotypically turns to good in the face of true love. Despite squandering any opportunity for emotion, the vocal performances, vibrant 3D images, and humorous script, packed with comic book cliché, Megamind provides an enjoyable experience for audiences of all ages.
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Director: Tom McGrath Release Date: 3/12/10
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Up and Coming... Innovative and highly acclaimed director Alejandro González Iñárritu is set to enjoy yet another triumph with the forthcoming Biutiful. After the success of Babel (2006) and 21 Grams (2003) the director has built up a body of work to rival most filmmakers. With many international film awards to his name, the director has become an international star, and is now promoting his new film. Biutiful has already been met with a great deal of enthusiasm from critics and fans alike. Although Iñárritu is commonly known for his complex narratives and nonlinear structures, Biutiful
differentiates from this fractured approach. When talking about his motive to make Biutiful, Iñárritu remarks: “Each of the films I have made has been shot in a different language, in a different country. At the end of Babel, I was so exhausted I made it a point that my next
Anna Eastick takes a look at the latest directorial effort from the man behind 21 Grams and Babel, and a potential second Oscar for Anton Chigurgh..
film would be about just one character, with one point of view, in one single city, with a straight narrative line and in my own native language.” As a result, Biutiful was born. Biutiful emerges as a love story between a father and his children. It takes the audience on a journey
Talking Movies How does the horror genre work? One way is by causing discomfort, often incited by crossing boundaries. Inevitably, as film has evolved as an art form and the cinematic touchstone has developed, the nature of these boundaries has changed – be they purely visual (Un Chien Andalou), bodily (see: David Cronenberg) or aural (Psycho). Most recently, the pre-eminent boundary has been space, and a glut of movies has transplanted the horror to the home. This is nothing new. The finale of Halloween was
set in the house where the protagonist was babysitting, and The Shining was set in the haunted Overlook hotel. Yet, we need to distinguish between horror films that occur in a domestic setting, and those that occur in the home in the fullest sense of the word – the house as a personal space. These jettison the creepy, secluded feel of a palatial ghost house and put into the viewer’s mind a fully domesticated living room. In theory, this should work exceptionally well – films such as The Strangers and The Orphanage, as well as
film
with Uxbal (Javier Bardem), a man who struggles to cope with fatherhood, love, crime and guilt in the beautiful city of Barcelona. His sacrifice for his children knows no bounds. Like life itself, this is a circular tale that ends where it begins, it navigates through life’s stages, whether bright, bad – or biutiful. Already, the film has evoked significant praise for actor Javier Bardem’s performance. An actor who excelled himself in the memorable role of Anton Chigurh in No Country for Old Men, to which he won an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor. His career already offers a stunning
and diverse contribution to cinema. Highly praised for his previous work, his performance in Biutiful is no exception. For his portrayal of Uxbal, Bardem recently won the Best Actor Award at the 2010 Cannes Film Festival. With such appreciation for his acting ability, some claim there will be outrage if he fails to add the Best Actor award for his lead performance at the Oscars this coming year. Due for release early next year, Biutiful has seemingly high prospects. With Alejandro González Iñárritu, a director with such prestigious transnational recognition, and a lead performance by the talented
Still think home is where the heart is? George
the shaky-cam pieces such as Paranormal Activity should be genuinely scary and very jarring. The idea that the horror is ‘in the home’ is only a slight variation on the horror being ‘in you’, as was seen in the artistically immense and blisteringly successful Alien.
The proliferation of these movies reflects a world where geopolitical boundaries have become blurred and old certainties discarded. These broader messages are hammered home through 24-hour media. More conventionally, there is a
sensation that is Javier Bardem, there seems little that could disappoint. As a Mexican film, it is shot in Spanish, but don’t let this put you off - Biutiful is quite literally a stunning and powerful example of world cinema. Its publicity is aiding an increasingly acknowledged international film industry, supporting foreign products that were often ostracized in the past. As a result, the film’s contribution will be far greater than that of winning awards; it will help raise an awareness of foreign films, which sadly, due to Hollywood’s dominance, are often overlooked. Anna Eastick
Gilbert begs to differ.
feeling on the part of the big studios and directors that after so many boundaries having been crossed, a film where violence and shock take place in the home of the protagonist moves suspense to the next level. Unfortunately the thematic coherence of the films usually does not match the coherence of the rationale for making them. Long periods of suspense can become tedious if characterisation and plot aren’t attended to. Sadly, it seems as though the kneejerk attempt to play on contemporary fears in the
quest for cold, hard cash is seeing a key opportunity missed. After all, a ‘home invasion’ horror film directed by Cronenberg or Peter Jackson could be awesomely effective. But before resigning to the line of ‘a bad workman always blames his tools’, it should be remembered that the otherwise accomplished David Fincher’s attempt to move into the territory was something of a failure with the largely tedious Panic Room. Perhaps the ground being trod isn’t as fertile as previously thought. George Gilbert
The Popcorn Chart
As this is the last issue before Christmas, Lorna Pontefract lists the best, and most repeated, holiday classics...
The Muppets Christmas naturally a rat for a narrator this is one not to be missed. Carol
Claus’s elves. Experiencing all that New York has to offer, including the ’World’s Best Coffee’, revolving doors and free candy in the form of used chewing gum, he has the adventure of his life. All he has to do now is gain his father’s love and get him off the naughty list. Oh, and of course, get the girl.
A comic re-telling of Charles Dickens’ famous novel, starring Jim Henson’s much loved characters. Ebenezer is an evil, greedy money-lender lacking any Christmas cheer who is visited in the night by three spirits; The Ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Yet To Come. Revealing scenes from his life they bid to save his soul and convince him to change his ways. With Great Gonzo as Charles Dickens, Michael Caine as Ebenezer Scrooge and
A Miracle Street
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Susan doesn’t believe in Santa. I know, right? When Macy’s Department Store (Susan’s mum’s work place)
hires a new Santa by the name of Kris Kringle (Richard Attenborough), he quickly convinces all the children he’s the real thing, yet Susan remains unconvinced. When Santa becomes involved in a court case, it’s only Susan’s mum who can save him. But she needs Susan’s help. This 1994 remake of the original is bound to get you in a Christmassy mood.
Elf
Buddy (Will Ferrell) is in search of his long lost father in New York. However, Buddy is a human brought up by Santa
behind from a family holiday he finds himself totally alone in his house. With no parents and no rules he has the time of his life, until he discovers
Home Alone
Home Alone is a timeless children’s classic that Christmas wouldn’t be the same without. When Kevin McCallister (Macaulay Culkin) accidently gets left
two burglars trying to break in. It’s up to Kevin to protect the house and bring them to justice. If you like booby traps, slapstick humour and
plenty of cheese, this is the perfect film for you.
The Great Escape
Somehow this one (the Steve McQueen version) sneaks onto the TV during the Christmas period despite its lack of any festive theme. Imprisoned in a high security German Camp a group of prisoners of war endeavour to win back their freedom. Another great classic, this high-action adventure is full of comedy and tense moments. Lorna Pontefract
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Gig Report by Hana Lockier
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their new drummer Andy Burrows (exRazorlight) brought their most recent tour to UEA on the 19th of November. Feeling slightly hesitant that their set was to be dominated by their new record, Barbara, this reviewer entered the gig with some caution. Kicking off with
Photo by Harriet Jones
Keith Murray vs. Alex Throssell
The British weather perhaps? Erm, you know, not to impugn your weather systems but yeah, they have a chill, it’s not conducive for wellbeing. Have you played here before? Yeah, I think this is our third or fourth time in this room and they were really good. At the end of our first record we ended the shows with a karaoke cover of a Boyz II Men song and this was the first place we ever did it. We were very nervous, but I distinctly remember doing it here and being incredibly relieved that the crowd were up for it. Is it good touring the new album? It’s been great, this is the first tour we have done since the record came out so its relieving to plays shows and see people recognise the songs, you never really know how it’s going when you are away. There has been a lot of appreciation shown
Do you prefer bigger stages at festivals or smaller venues like this?
in a smaller room that is packed with people that are excited about our songs.
The dynamic certainly has changed in that we all are much, much happier, we definitely are a pretty fun trio, when we hang out it’s a good time, it’s not strictly a professional relationship. One thing I will say I don’t like about Andy is that his humility is excessive, he apologises for performing well, we’ll play a show that was amazing and he’ll be like, “ah, um ahm, god dammit why did I, so stupid” and we’ll be like “that was amazing, I forgot all the words to the song, but whatever!”
This is always more fun, I’m not the biggest fan of festivals to be honest, especially the main, main stages where you are kind of 50ft away from the closest audience member, who isn’t necessarily there to even see you, maybe they are excited that you are playing but it’s not like they came to the festival to see We Are Scientists. It is always nice to be
Any thoughts about the rest of the tour? I think we are all gonna be pretty excited to go home eventually but it is really nice to end in the UK, we are a lot bigger here than we are in the U.S. so it’s nice to end on the highest notes, it does legitimately feel like a homecoming.
In terms of writing, you have 3 albums already, are you writing on tour? We aren’t really very good on tour writers, our song writing scenario generally involves extreme privacy and exclusion which is impossible to find on tour, so we tend to not really write on tour, soundchecks are very, very brief affairs.
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Damn well! Actually I’m finally succumbing to tour illness, has to happen once every tour and it’s descended…
for your new drummer, is there anything you don’t like about Andy Burrows?
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How are you?
So tour is more your time? On the actual tour no, we are excessively social, then we get home and it’s time to write, like for Barbara I moved to Georgia (from LA) and just lived there for a while.
WIRED
We Are Scientists is a band whose two skinny frontmen men personify American indie culture. You could almost imagine them in an American teen film as the slightly uncool musicians who eventually make it big. As this seems to have quite literally happened Keith, Chris and
be a winner. They struck a balance with the glories of new and old and the last half of the set was definitely dedicated to those early followers of the band. The Great Escape, It’s A Hit and After Hours were played in quick succession and finishing the encore with the electric Cash Cow was an incredible way to close. £14.50 very well spent
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Nice Guys and soon following with the massive Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt, it was obvious the band had no intention of alienating the crowd, and rapturous screaming, fist-pumping and some serious foot stomping ensued. The lads’ energy seemed to be on a constant high; bouncing from their new single I Don’t Bite to fan favourite Chick Lit. The hits were relentless and it was only with the announcement of “We’re going to slow things down for a bit guys” that the whole crowd seemed to calm. Textbook was the track that followed and although it was meant to be a breather, Keith foolishly decided to venture into the crowd midsong. He was lovingly mobbed by the newly energised audience and the ‘attack’ resulted in the brilliant line, “I buttoned up this shirt for a reason!” which was a rather futile attempt to quell his female fans. Although you can tell from a glance that music is everything to the band, their on stage banter is always a massive crowd pleaser. Having three cracking albums to choose a set list from, the gig was likely to
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THE HUMAN LEAGUE Sean Purdy really likes the Human League. When given the chance to speak to Phil Oakey he was ecstatic. He only actually spoke to Joanne, his childish glee was unbearable. He also got into the gig made him an even happier chappy, read on see the story unfold...
Gig Report by Sean Purdy At the peak of the Human League’s popularity back in the 80s, Phil Oakey stood out for many as a fashion icon in an age renowned for eccentricity. It’s unfortunate that any progressive style seems to have eluded him and has been replaced by an ill advised combination of zips , oversized hoods and sexual predator-y sunglasses. Phil does a good job of demonstrating the main issue with watching the once innovative Human League 30 years later; they’re simply not edgy or on-trend anymore. The new single, Night People, highlights their detachment from current trends and although it shows Oakey can still work his way around a bassline, is just too embarrassing. It’s relatively groovy, but they’ve taken all the components of an 80s classic and constructed a monotonous mess with awkward lyrics about chocolate and cheese. It’s more like your dad singing about you going out rather than the political commentary of The Lebanon or the inspirational messages in The Things That Dreams Are Made Of. Having said that, the sheer weight of the League’s back catalogue ensured much
fun was had. The Dare era classics were always going to be euphoric, with Sound of the Crowd and Love Action rousing the sensible pullovers that made up the majority of the crowd into a creaking, head-nodding action. Older efforts like Being Boiled and Empire State Human provoked the most hipshaking/dislodging and although the set had lost most of its momentum by the time they played Don’t You Want Me, the inevitable singalong lasted until well after the band had left the stage. It was a good gig but maybe not for the right reasons; does the sheer elation of seeing your childhood idols outweigh the fact that they’re just not very cool anymore? Does the fact that the League are attempting to produce new music, instead of relying on old classics, outweigh that it’s simply not very good? On the night the answer was yes, but it was a close call. You can’t help but feel that Phil and co, should simply embrace that the 80s were their era. Where the heavyweight hits struck home with a nostalgia fuelled crowd, the awful outfits and new music failed to make much of a mark.
Photo by Lizzy Margereson
Joanne Catherall vs. Sean Purdy
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Your new album Credo is out early next year. How is the production going with that, how far along the creation process are you?
Your band image in 2010 has matured since the days of long fringes and dangly earrings, particularly in Phillip’s case. Is there any particular reason for this?
Well it’s actually finished! It was mastered a few weeks ago and originally we were trying to get it out this year, but, as we usually do, we’ve fallen slightly behind and so we’ve only really got time to put the single out, so we decided to do that this year, and then go with the album probably around February/March.
Well, Phillip lost his hair! He can’t really do the long fringe thing anymore. I think it’s just a case of moving with the times; we can’t really go out dressing as we did in the 80s, people would look at us very strangely.
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The Human League has had a career spanning three decades; how has the band’s approach to the creative process developed since the days of ‘Dare’?
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I think actually that we’re still writing music in pretty much the same way, as in getting backing, Phillip has a panic, goes away and writes some words, comes back the next day and we sing them. We’ve never really been a band of typical songwriters, writing music in a conventional way around a piano, as none of us can actually play any instruments. Photo by Lizzy Margereson
The last few years have seen a popular resurgence of both 80s style and synthorientated music, with bands like La Roux and Hot Chip leading the synth rerevolution; what’s your opinion on the 80s revival? I mean, I think it’s great! Its great for us that we have a new album to come out when that sort of music is popular again, we’re being talked about by other artists who are saying that, you know, we’re an influence on them. So hopefully, it’s going to be good for us from a commercial point of view too.
For the ten years that you haven’t released a record, you’ve still been touring internationally and headlining festivals. It must be quite nice to get back into the studio after such a long break. It was… it was very unpressurised as well, we did it in our own studio, we didn’t have to do it London and think that oh, this is costing us hundreds of pounds, its our own studio in Sheffield that we’ve had since 1986. It was a very laid back way of doing it. Was there any point over the Human League’s expansive career that you thought it was time to leave the band and move onto something new? I suppose individually possibly at different times we’ve all been fed up with it. But fortunately, the three of us have never thought of it at the same time! One person will think it and the other two will be like no, we can’t give up! So all I can say is that all three of us never came to a negative conclusion at the same time.
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Beth Wyatt
Photo by Pippa Artus
Laura Marling: Waterfront 26/11/10 Three years ago, before the term ’nu-folk’ had graced the pages of NME and the likes of Mumford and Sons had made banjos socially acceptable, a talented 17 year old delivered a self-conscious performance to no more than thirty people gathered round a bandstand in London’s Hyde Park. This reviewer was lucky enough to be among them. Two mercury-nominated albums later, Laura Marling makes her Norwich debut at The Waterfront, a venue with the capacity for a crowd roughly twenty times the size that at that bandstand in 2007. For a song-writer whose first album prompted comparisons with Joni Mitchell, it is difficult to imagine how Marling can have matured since. But it is soon clear that a wealth of onstage experience has moulded the chronically shy teenager into a modest but accomplished performer. Engagement with the audience was always absent from her earlier concerts but tonight she happily jokes with the crowd and tells unruly audience members to “chat somewhere else.” Marling and her band dive straight into album material with the gutsy
Devils Spoke, blasting away any thoughts that this was going to be a timid affair. For the first half of the set the band give an extra force behind Marling’s unique vocals. Hope in the Air is unforgettable with its climatic build from her acoustic to a full band finale and lends itself brilliantly to the live show. After apologetically warning the crowd that she had three new songs to play, we are treated to the romantic and lyrically powerful Rest In My Bed and slightly heavier, more upbeat Don’t Ask Me Why. The last of the three is a heartfelt cover of Jackson C Frank’s, depressing yet beautiful, Blues Run the Game. Half-way through, the band leave Marling alone with her acoustic guitar to play haunting tracks like Alpha Shallows with stark intensity. She finishes the show in delightful fashion and enthuses the crowd by diverting from the set-list to play a very apt Goodbye England (Covered In Snow). Deciding she’s “not rock ‘n’ roll enough for an encore,” Laura Marling thanks the audience and leaves as quietly as she came in, quietly triumphant. Abigail Hooper
Athlete: LCR 21/11/10 After being scheduled to play at the Waterfront Athlete’s return to Norwich was given a slight boost by being upgraded to the LCR. The night’s procedures were a dedication to the album release Athlete: The Singles, a nine year documentation of all the releases, whether chart topping or not from their old record label, EMI.
Photo by Alec Plowman
Playing before the celebrations began was Alice Gold, a rock princess oozing with confidence. Her first few numbers were banged out with Janis Joplin-esque soulfulness and the set continued with nervous enthusiasm and experienced vocals. Conversations of Love, was slow but sweet
and the already released Orbiter, was performed with the energy its chorus deserves. Alice Gold has great potential, yet it was all too clear that she wouldn’t have been on stage but for the reason that she’s on the same record label as the headliners. The middle aged fair-weather crowd were allowed a half hour gap to get boozed up before Athlete’s Joel Pott strolled on with a boom box and an acoustic guitar to deliver You Got The Style. Once the rest of the gang made it on stage, a relaxed performance followed with all 15 singles on the record being played out with utmost sincerity, interspersed with funny banter. Stand outs of the night included the vulnerable Black Swan Song, the greatly appreciated Wires, and the surreal Outsiders, dedicated by Joel to “all you English.” All were performed with open arms, fantastic harmonies and a light show that illuminated every corner of the LCR. The encore raised the bar as Getaway and Half Light, were belted out with stadium rock prowess. The finale was a magnificent yet suspicious choice; Chances typified the romance of the night for the beloved fans. Overall, a night of jubilant celebration dedicated to a quaintly English, yet ultimately accomplished band. Peter Walker
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The most popular song of the night can be awarded to her distinctive version of Elton Johns anthem Your Song which is currently gracing our televisions in the form of a John Lewis advert. The crowd clearly connected with Ellie; frequent cries of “I love you!” greeted her whenever she opened her mouth. One audience member even proposed, only for it to be dismissed with a soft “no thanks.” The moments when Ellie spoke to the crowd were touching and her appreciation of her fans was warm and genuine. Ellie was once just a student too, like many in the LCR, only she dropped out to focus on her singing dream. Thank goodness she did, because a true talent like hers is greatly needed in a world of identical pop and R&B clones. Ellie’s star will hopefully rise further; she has released her album in the US and the new songs she played in Norwich, The End and Human, are every bit as fantastic as her others. After the encore of Starry Eyed, the crowd left with the satisfaction that they had just seen a class act.
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After supporting Passion Pit at the LCR, Ellie Goulding has matured into quite the little songstress. A year after she first came here she has decided to return to UEA to give us a charming headline show. Support came from dance/pop duo Bright Light Bright Light and the interestingly named Sunday Girl. Both acts were a hit with the packed audience; cheers were rife during Bright Light Bright Light’s infectious set and Sunday Girl delighted the crowd with her strong vocals and impressive range. In addition, she challenged the audience to a ‘who-cansing-the-loudest’ contest, a familiar, but popular, gig pastime. After Sunday Girl finished up her set the thrill of expectation drew closer and pockets of the crowd exploded into feverish chants of “Ellie! Ellie!” The introduction of Under the Sheets burst out, with Ellie then treating the crowd to an impromptu drumming session. Her wide musical talent was portrayed further when she introduced her acoustic guitar into the mix; providing the perfect backdrop for songs such as The Writer.
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Ellie Goulding: LCR 24/11/10
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65daysofstatic: Arts Centre 21/11/10
Photo by Nigel D Nudds
The genre of post rock has put 65daysofstatic in a difficult position. Being defined by the masses as unnecessarily complex and for ‘those who like to impress arty girls with their music tastes’ may have been correct of the band’s previous incarnation, but whether or not the Sheffield four used to be in that camp is ultimately inconsequential. They are no longer playing post rock, they don’t even play songs anymore; they write compositions and perform creations. Swathes of fuzzy chords, chiming melodies and brutal layers of sprawling beats, none of which ever seem overstated, are abundant on their most recent album We Were Exploding Anyway and it is the wake that record left which submerged the Norwich music scene tonight. It seems all too commonplace to say that the venue was crammed, but the sold out Arts Centre really was busy. To the annoyance of front man Joe Shrewesbury though, nobody was moving. The infectious instrumental barrage that made up the first half of 65’s set left the crowd awestruck, and despite Joe’s on-stage trickery only a few in the crowd were losing themselves. It took ‘Retreat! Retreat!’, one of the band’s oldest and most popular tracks, to really get
Photo by Nigel D Nudds
the crowd going; screams of “This band is unstoppable!” were heard over the sample running through the PA and a pit opened up to claim those at the front. Despite consummate performances of their other, more challenging tracks such as ‘Dance Dance Dance’, with its all encompassing drum breakdown, the
10 minute epic that is ‘Tiger Girl’ was both the apogee and the culmination of the band’s set. An unrelenting 4/4 beat, tribal percussion and layers of deafening distorted guitars left the crowd’s ears ringing, but their hearts yearning for more. Alex Throssell
Livewire Unsigned: Blue Bar 3/12/10 Friday 3rd December saw the Blue Bar filled to burst for UEA student radio station Livewire’s battle of the bands, Unsigned 2010. The event saw 5 bands duke it out to win the top prize which included two days’ worth of recording time at Purple Studios, with additional prizes including a support slot at a future Norwich Arts Centre gig. Champions of the night were experimental folk group Inlay, who combined electric violin, banjo, accordion, acoustic guitar and strong vocal harmonies to great effect. The group played with the impeccable timing and precision of a group that has been playing together for much longer than they have (the band formed in 2009), but at the same time displayed a raw energy that filtered through to the rest of the bar. Runners up were equally exciting funk-rockers The Fuzz. Arguably already quite well established within the Norwich scene, the band was on energetic form, switching from genre to genre with ease and boasting soulful vocals and even more soulful saxophone solos. A highlight of the night came courtesy of The Manalishis, a four-piece which included former members of the nowdisbanded Wasted Reverends. The band performed a stunning pop-rock cover of
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The Fuzz’s Sax - Photo by Lizzy Margereson
Chase & Status’ ‘Heartbeats’, and their overall tightness and presence set the bar for the quality of music throughout the night. The night also featured a lively set from The Branstown Band who played warm, spirited country-influenced pop (boldly closing their set with a bluesy number which evolved halfway through into full-
on rock ’n’ roll) as well as swaggering, almost sleazy rock from The Dirty Tricks. You can find out more about all of the acts on the Live Events page at www. livewire1350.com –you might just discover your new favourite band. Kate Hinksman
Champions Inlay perform to a packed out Blue Bar - Photo by Lizzy Margereson
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Earlier this month, we had every intention of running a Christmas feature where our writers thought of alternative festive lyrics to popular songs. Nobody responded apart from Ant Firth-Clark who managed to get the brief wrong anyway. Nonetheless, he got it wrong in a very funny way... Jingle Bells, we’re in hell Cameron laid Nick Clegg Oh what fun it is to live in a benefit free mistake, OH!
Jingle Bells, we’re in hell Cameron laid Nick Clegg Oh what fun it is to live in a benefit free mistake, OH!
Jingle Bells, we’re in hell Life ain’t for the dregs A dystopian world run by Oxford girls, a regret we cannot shake
Jingle Bells, we’re in hell, Double-dip is our real fate Don’t you fret, we’re still in debt, just a lot more filled with hate.
Riding through the storm, of an investment w**ker’s pay, Bailouts are the norm So they’re laughing all the way, A budget fix was formed For the debt to cast away The poor have been dehomed, And education’s thrown away, OH!
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Kanye West: My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy Visionary filmmaker Stanley Kubrick, shortly before his death in 1999, was awarded the D.W. Griffith Lifetime Achievement Award. In his recorded acceptance speech, he suggests that the Icarus myth is not a cautionary tale about the dangers of hubris, but rather a rallying call to build better wings. There isn’t enough space on this page to do Kanye’s album justice in any kind of intellectual arena, so lets just kick it with a purely emotional – Jesus H., this is the s**t. It feels like history. West is a man of extremes, and everything about MBDTF deals exclusively in those extremes. And what else could he have done? He flew as close to the sun as any have, and the wax started to melt. Here are those new wings. ‘Devil in a New Dress’ feels like walking in slow-motion through a cocktail party. ‘Hell of a Life’ feels like hooking up with a porn star. ‘Runaway’ feels like being Kanye West in his darkest moments, an empty bottle of Hennessy in hand, the words “Taylor, I’ma let ya’ll finish in a minute” echoing over and over in a mind swimming with bourbon and bad ideas. It’s a piece of art concerned with power, influence, guilt and self-doubt. By the final track, we stand awed and speechless, having borne
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Corner of Christmas Contempt
Ellie Kumar
Destabilise is the hotly anticipated new single from dance/ metalers Enter Shikari. Whilst the catchy, powerful chorus suggests a continuation of form for the St Alban’s quartet, the first breakdown sounds disruptive and unflattering. This blockage in the flow of the track is somehow rectified, however, as the explosive second breakdown gives a much needed dynamic edge to the track. The main problem with Destabilise is that it is missing the signature melodic underbelly of earlier ES singles. They have the old brutality in abundance but not the catchy, pop-infused melodies of previous releases. Destabilise brings about the death of the old happygo-lucky Shikari and signals the full regeneration of the band into a darker, increasingly sinister, politicised beast. Whether this change is of merit is a question of listener opinion. What can be confirmed, though, is that this is a very ‘Shikari-esque’ record that fuses together a pick-andmix of countless sub-genres, but unfortunately without the usual delicate blending we have come to expect.
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Despite early rumours that the latest offering from My Chemical Romance was going to be a stripped down rock album with no characters or gimmicks, the newest set of alter-egos from the New Jersey five-piece have proved to be their most explosive yet. Armed with ray-guns, vibrant coloured masks and enough swagger to shock Steven Tyler, My Chemical Romance have delivered a new record that is miles away from the dark theatrics we came to know from The Black Parade. You could be forgiven for missing the CD in stores; the album cover depicts a sunshine drenched desert scene and is a colourful contrast to the ghoulish, blood splattered artwork of previous efforts. Most of the songs from Danger Days work as stand alone tracks but also within the full concept
of the album. First single Na Na Na is fast and exciting and if it doesn’t make you want to get up and punch the air then there is something seriously wrong. The first guitar solo on the album is crunchy enough to let us overlook the fact that we’ve been waiting four years for this but Save Yourself, I’ll Hold Them Back, with its stripped-down rock sound and Gerard Way’s desolate wailing vocals, is also satisfyingly reminiscent of the band’s debut. Other highlights of the album are Party Poison and the anthemic Bulletproof Heart. One criticism of My Chemical Romance’s new direction is their newly added use of electro effects, particularly in songs such as Planetary (GO!) where it seems as though the band is just following the latest trend in mainstream rock by putting synths under absolutely everything. It’s unnecessary and the songs would work better without. However, the snappy Vampire Money is a fast and messy slice of old-school punk that finishes the album brilliantly. My Chemical Romance has always been a band that splits opinion and this album is no different. The haters will find things to hate, and the fans will stick with them to the end. Whether you like the band or not, Danger Days is a clever album that does not disappoint, so turn your radios up and “party ‘til the gasman comes”.
Enter Shikari: Destabilise
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witness to one the most prominent singular figures of our time tearing himself open to reveal nothing more or less than our own everythings – the best and worst of us, all our pride and guilt, our securities and our personal paranoia. WHOWILLSURVIVEINAMERICA?WHOWILLSURVIVEINA MERICA?WHOWILLSURVIVEINAM ERICA?WHOWILLSUR VIVEINAMERICA?WHOWILLSURVIVEINAMERICA? Tom McInnes
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Oh, The Places You Will Go... If you’re going to a gig in Norwich, it’s more than likely you know where to head but if you’re looking to see some stand-up comedy then you might not be so sure; beyond the Theatre Royal, Playhouse or the Arts Centre. This week, Venue is providing you with the ‘go-to’ places to see local and (inter) national comedy in this fine city. The Birdcage The old stomping ground of ‘Saltbox Presents...’ The Birdcage offers a hedonistic experience in a cosy cafe, priding itself on its bohemia. The Birdcage puts on a variety of nights, and even though ‘Saltbox presents...’ may not be putting on its New Comedy Cabaret nights The Birdcage has a long history of cultivating some of Norwich’s best talent. With all sorts of Cabaret evenings and the like the Birdcage should be top of your list to pop into and share the laughter over a couple of White Russians. If you do want to see ‘Saltbox presents...’ ,they’re now at Maddermarket Theatre.
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The Rose Tavern Right in the heart of the Golden Triangle is one of the city’s best comedy venues, especially for those looking for something from the local scene, or trying to break into it. The Rose Tavern on Rupert Street has long been hosting local comedy nights from UEA alumni LOL to Headlights. This is a great chance to see new comedians starting out and testing their new material. You never know these guys might be the new Footlights! Cherryleaf Coffee House This quaint little coffee house isn’t just a sweet place to grab a mug of hot chocolate but also offers some great comedy nights. You’ve probably past Cherryleaf Coffee House time and time again walking into town via St. Giles Street and thought about popping in for cake and a cup of tea, but probably not to get your fill of laughs. If you’re looking for a different way to spend your time and catch some comedy out of a pub venue this is a great place to head down to. The Forum This behemoth of a building in the City Centre not only houses BBC East and an impressive library but plays host to The Comedy Store once a month. Yes, it is related to that famous London institution that gave so many a comedian their big break. Venue highly recommends heading down to see some of the funniest people
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from the frontline touring the country, nay the world, at the moment and nab the chance to see some rising stars. You’ll have seen a number of them on your screens appearing in a variety of panel shows! Sean Meo, Steve Gribbin, Andrew Bird and more are gracing Norwich on the 13th of this month so grab your tickets now!
While the tensions of the season of ‘goodwill to all men’ is fertile ground for laughs, it also has a ‘phoenix from the flames’ effect for departed shows and stars to take the hour as a last hurrah. Or, if you’re Only Fools and Horses, quite a few ‘hip hips’ as well, managing its last special a decade after the end of the actual series. See also The Vicar of Dibley, where the juxtaposition of Vicar and major Christian festival have created several successful thematic episodes. Equally, Victoria Wood used the format to create a cozy comeback last year, parodying tea time drama and re-writing her classic comedy song ‘Let’s Do it’ It is in these cases that more often or not, much loved shows and formats gently remind us why they are no longer prime time material. However, apart from the litany of plastic gunk filling the shelves of Toy shops, Christmas is hardly the time for anything attempting to be cutting edge, so a special dispensation, helped by a love for sitcom characters often not seen in other genres wins through. Of recent years, The Royle Family’s specials have made critical
The X Factor finalists have made their formal bid for enrolment into the British Army with their charity single, a cover of David Bowie’s ‘Heroes’. It’s a twoprong attack, a combination of lyrical implication (‘We could
be heroes, just for one day’ – if you listen carefully, Cher then sings ‘Please?’ in a voice only audible to dogs) and a clear insistence by all involved that a career in music would be a threat to national security. With the shock departure of obvious winner Wagner, we can only assume that his delightfully playful facial hair has now been posted on the front line. Laurence Boum
Football Corner Norwich City Football Club You may have headed down to Carrow Road to see the Canaries play but the football ground also offers something a little bit different. Even if football isn’t your thing every last Thursday of the month the Lounge puts on the Red Card Comedy Club, which is the perfect excuse to make your way out on a cold winter night. The Red Card Comedy Club is Norwich based but is definitely worth checking out for your bigger names. This month sees John Mann, Sean Mao (yes, again), Dan Antapolski and Rob Rouse grace Norwich with their presence, check it out! Paloma Jacquin
The Season Of Good Cheer Throw a stick at your carefully annotated bumper Christmas Radio Times and the chances are you’ll hit a Christmas comedy special or two (and severely confuse the dog). The format is deceptively simple. They’re usually double the length of a regular edition of a sitcom favourite and quite often only half as good. This year, the oft- quoted Peep Show offers us its first Christmas edition of its seven series run. One can guess the addition of paper hats and family members will create comedy gold in this saga of awkwardness and hidden feelings, especially as we’re apparently going to meet those who supposedly spawned the quivering quasi anti-hero that is Mark Corrigan.
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impact, achieving that much credited but rarely achieved accolade of being overflowing with humour and heart by tackling a death with pathos rather than parody.
In a turn of events that not even Psychic Octopus Paul managed to predict Russia won the bid to host the World Cup 2018, beating Portugal + Spain, Netherlands + Belgium and England. FIFA president, Sepp Blatter’s, announcement makes Russia the first nation to host the World Cup behind the former Iron Curtain. As a beacon of hope and
ethical practices Russia is more than ‘Ready to Inspire’ the World Cup 2018. Recent Wikileaks have consistenlty proven Russia’s ability to host interesting football in the next decade. Fulfilling Sepp Blatter’s mission to bring the World Cup to unusual footballing destination there has been no hesitation to rush in. Running an understated campaign it is unsurprising Russia won the bid. 2018 promises an exciting World Cup with a number of the matches being held in modern and spacious stadiums all across the country from Kallingrad to Yekaterinburg. The fact that the infrastructure has yet be built means that the world can eagerly wait for glory. Natasha Smirnovski
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Prince of Wales Rd, Opposite Roccos/Mercy
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One cannot overlook Ricky Gervais’ WRISTBAND closing festive episodes of The Office, where all romantic ties were neatly 50P OFF EVERY JOURNEY WHEN SHOWN* tied in a way not expected from the ennui filled mockumentary. One 50 SEAT WAITING AREA IN feels without the trappings of the THE HEART OF CLUBLAND season, things might not have ended so pleasantly. Why not have a happy OPPOSITE MERCY/ROCCOS ending? Tis the season, after all. PRINCE OF WALES ROAD If none of this sentimental nostalgia Store this number in your mobile NOW! is your bag, and you’ve seen every NORWICH 01603 mawkish film known to man, there’s always The Big Fat Quiz of the Year and similar panel show marathon offerings to tide you over. Anything’s better than a cracker joke, eh? Christian Pierre WWW.COURTESYTAXIS.COM
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Thursday 16th
* End of Term Bash feat. Vengaboys - LCR - 9pm (£12.50) * Circus of Horrors: Freaks and Feathers - The Playhouse (continues until 19th - various times) (£15-£18.50) * The Big Student Xmas Party - Mercy (free admission with flyer before 11pm)
- The Playhouse - 8pm (£16)
* Film - I Am Love - LT1 - 7:30pm (£2.80)
Wednesday 8th
* Rich Hall - The Playhouse - SOLD OUT * Gentleman’s Dub Club - Norwich Arts Centre - 8pm (£6) * Billy Bragg - LCR - 7:30pm (£16) * The Smiths Indeed - The Waterfront 7:30pm (£15) * The Wizard of Oz - Planet Ice - 7:30pm (£7-£9)
Thursday 9th
* Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - LCR 7:30pm (£18.50) * UEA Symphony Orchestra & Choir - St Andrews Hall - 7:30pm (£4-£12) * Flange Pudding - Mercy (free admission with flyer before 11.30pm)
Friday 10th
* Film - Inception - LT1 - 7:30pm (£2.80) * Color Xmas Special feat SHY FX - The Waterfront - 10pm (£8-£10) * Jingle All The Way... Giveaways Galore - Mercy (free admission with flyer before 11.30pm)
Friday 17th
Neon tights, fluorescent body paint and glow sticks galore... must be Day Glo Rave
Monday 13th
Saturday 11th
* The A List + Harmony - LCR - 10pm (£4.50) * Jenny Éclair: Old Dog New Tricks The Playhouse - 8pm (£17.50 - call for availability) * No Strings - Burlesque and Cabaret Club - Norwich Puppet Theatre - 8pm (£19.50 call for availability) * Glow, Bubble and Snow - Mercy (£2.00 off Admission with flyer before midnight)
Sunday 12th
* Jim Jeffries: Alcoholocaust - The Playhouse - 8pm/10:30pm (£14/£15) * The Blue Tones - The Waterfront - 7pm (£13)
* Mark Watson - The Playhouse (continues until 16th) - 8pm (£18.50 - call for availability)
Tuesday 14th
* The Christmassy LCR - LCR - 10pm (£3.50adv) * Jack and the Beanstalk - Theatre Royal (continues until 16th January) - various times (£5-£17)
Wednesday 15th
* Norwich Jazz Collective presents The Mingus Project - Norwich Arts Centre 8pm (£6)
* NR ONE presents: The Kabeedies + The Barlights + We Can’t Dance - 8pm (£5 call for availability) * Minstrels Gallery ‘Music in the Glass’ Hungate Medievil Art - 1pm (£7)
Saturday 18th
* The Frog Princess - Norwich PuppetTheatre (continues until 24th 11am/2:30pm) * Alumni Christmas LCR - LCR - 10pm (£4.50) * 999 Christmas Party - Mercy (£2.00 off admission with flyer before midnight) * The BFG - The Maddermarket Theatre (continues until 3rd January - various times) (£8-£12)
Sunday 19th
* Aled Jones in Concert - Theatre Royal 7:30pm (£5-£24.50) * Swing Into Christmas - The Forum 7:30pm (£11-£13)
CHRISTMAS TIME IN NORWICH CITY
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and international stars will be performing the Wizard of Oz, on ice! Music is always a big part of Christmas and Norwich has all sorts on offer. The first such event is on Thursday 9th December as the UEA symphony Orchestra & Choir perform at the lovely St Andrew’s Hall. Tickets are available from the UEA box office so grab one and support your fellow students. Also later in the month ,on Sunday 19th December, get ready to Swing into Christmas at The Forum as Jonathan Wyatt and his big band return for your listening pleasure. For those of you yet to get that festive feeling, the annual Norwich Cathedral Christmas market this coming weekend is the ideal place to find thoughtful gifts and soak up the yuletide atmosphere.
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The famous Coca-Cola advert has been on for a while, everything is covered in snow and you’ve opened the first few windows of your advent calendar, so you know Christmas is just around the corner. Norwich has a lot to offer those of all ages in the coming days and weeks as you get in the festive spirit. Both Castle Mall and Jarrolds will have Santa in his grotto up until Christmas Eve, not really sure how he manages to be in two at places at once, but that’s the magic of Christmas! No festive season would be complete without a pantomime and this year the Norwich Theatre Royal offers you the fantastic tale of Jack and The Beanstalk while Maddermarket Theatre has on offer the equally enthralling story of The BFG. For those of you looking for a more grown up theatre production, Holkham Hall will be hosting the spooky tale of The Canterville Ghost by Oscar Wilde. If you crave something a little more unique then how about Planet Ice’s first ever Christmas show. Both Norwich skaters
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* Day Glo Rave - LCR - 10pm (£3.50adv) * Villagers - The Waterfront - 7:30pm (£9) * Gyles Brandreth: The One To One Show
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YOUR GUIDE TO WHAT’S GOING ON IN NORWICH
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The vintage carousel will be outside The Forum over the Christmas period
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07dec10 ISSUE 249
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Across 1: Slang(13) 7: _____ Balboa. (5) 9: Emblem consisting of an object such as an animal or plant, especially in Native American clans. (5) 10: Her name is ___, and she dances on the sand. (3) 11: Not deceitful, say genuinely. (7) 12: Type of tree, used especially for whipping. (5) 13:Alcoholic beverage. (3) 14: Captain Lawrence _____, part of Scott’s Antarctic expedition. (5) 16: Lightweight chord. (6) 17: Star of Enter The Dragon. (3) 19: Royal domain. (5) 22: Second letter of Greek alphabet. (4) 23:Greta _____, Swedish born American Actress (5) 25: Polytheistic belief; religion of the Celts. (5) 26: Do something excessively. (6) 27: Past; former era (6)
competitions Down 1: English satirist, _____ Morris. (5) 2: Need one to drive a car (7) 3: Combine with oxygen. (9) 4: A literary work about the writers own life. (13) 5: Italian football team, _____ Milan. (5) 6: Walking in _______, song. (7) 8: The desire to obtain more than is necessary. (10) 13: To be performed with a brisk tempo. (7) 15: Elongated snakelike fish. (3) 18: Uncanny; inspiring superstitious fear. (5) 20: Trouble; irritation (colloquial). (5) 21: ____ pie, eaten at Christmas (5) 24: Aftershave, ___ Spice. (3)
Win American rockers Black Rebel Motorcycle Club will be playing the LCR on December 9th. For a chance of winning a pair of tickets, just bring your completed crossword to the Concrete Office by 3pm on 09/12/10. Name: E-mail: Mobile:
Win Singer songwriter Billy Bragg will be playing the LCR on December the 8th. To be in with a chance of winning tickets, just circle the correct answer to the following question and bring it to the Concrete Office by 3pm on 08/12/10. Which well known female artist covered his song ‘A New England’. A) Kirsty MacColl B) Kirsty Gallager C) Kirsty Alley Name: E-mail: Mobile:
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