Concrete - Issue 250 - 18/01/2011

250th edition!

Housing Special Four page Union housing pull-out for every reader

As Concrete reaches its 250th issue, Features looks back at some of the stories that have shaped UEA

Tuesday 18th January 2011 • Issue 250 • UEA’s Independent Student Newspaper

Techpocalypse wreaks havoc • UEA network, including Webmail, Broadsearch and phone system, fails in crucial last week of term.

• Controversy rages as students from different faculties are given drastically different extensions.

Joshua Resoun

News Reporter

Problems with the UEA network have caused considerable disruption to staff and students leading up to and during the Christmas break. Controversy also raged over disparities in the extensions given to students in light of the problems, with arts students receiving a 24-hour extension and science students being given January deadlines.

The technology problems appeared to be over as of Friday January 14th when the university released a statement saying that the work to replace the network core was complete. The statement also expressed thanks to staff and students for their “understanding” throughout the problems.

However, questions are still being asked as to what caused the problems in the first place, and what is being done to avoid these problems in the future.

Shortly before midnight on December 13th, the UEA network began to experience problems which were caused by a failure with the main network core. By December 14th, the network faced a rapid degradation in the quality of service, including access to the Portal, Broadsearch and Webmail.

On the January 13th, UEA Information Services stated that they were “pleased to inform students and staff that the final phase of the replacement to network equipment which caused IT problems before Christmas has now been successfully completed”.

The UEA network crashed in week 12, with problems continuing to plague students over the Christmas break

The Union of UEA Students sent an open letter to Pro-Vice Chancellor (Academic), Professor Tom Ward on January 6th, outlining the anger and frustration that many students have felt during the

‘Techpocalypse’. The letter was formed from the primary concerns of students, saying: “The main difficulty was that the University failed to adequately communicate with the student body”.

Greg Mann

This was certainly true as far as extensions to deadlines were concerned.

Continued on page 3

NEWS: Riverside nightclub to re-open

NEWS: New Streets album COMMENT AND OPINION: Eastenders: A to feature Ziggurats step too far?

FEATURES: Concrete’s guide to student housing

COMPETITIONS: Win White Lies tickets!

Nightclub to open on the site of former Norwich club Lava & Ignite this February Page 4

The album cover of the Streets final album will feature the iconic UEA accommodation Page 4

Concrete gives you the low down on making the transition from halls to private housing Page 14

Turn to Venue page 20 for your chance to win a pair of ticket to see the White lies at the LCR Venue Page 20

Alex Couzens comments on the furore surrounding the recent Eastenders baby swap plot Page 11

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UEA’s Independent Student Newspaper Concrete Newspaper Union House UEA Norwich NR4 7TJ

concrete.editor@uea.ac.uk

Editor:

Editorial: 01603 593 466 Advertising: 01603 592 507

Danny Collins

Deputy Editor:

Steph McKenna

Chief Copy Editor:

Mia Wecker

News Editors: Comment and Opinion Editor: International Editor: Features Editor:

Davina Kesby Ed Leftwich

Emma Parrott

Nishavitha Murthi Adam Fenwick

Turf Editor:

Anna Tomson

Lifestyle Editor:

James Dixon

Travel Editor:

Tom Hunt

Sports Editors: Chief Photographer: Deputy Chief Photographer: Advertising Manager: Distributor:

ISSUE 250

www.concrete-online.co.uk

Chris King Rob Schatten Greg Mann

Laura Smith Jean Wills

Ross Grant

Contributors:

Joshua Resoun, James Hughes, Susanna Wood, James Schofield, Rianna Ison, Ian Hobbs, Jack Brinded, Alex Couzens, Hannah Evans, Kate Allen, Jonathan Parr, Josh Weatherill, Fiona Howard, Drew Nicol, Kristina Stephens, Rachael Lum, Isabelle Carty, Ruthana Christofides, Will Lacey, Emma Williamson, Lisa Stevens, Ava Gaida, Simon O’Meara, Oli Platt, George Neal, Chris Teale, Kristen Wade, Mark Roach Proofreaders: Milly Humphrey, Gabriella Blake, Sam Dordoy, Ann Hartigan, Susanna Wood

concrete.news@uea.ac.uk

Report reveals the number of Firsts awarded has doubled in recent years

• One in seven students achieved a First last year, with 46, 825 top class degrees being awarded.

• Calls made for introduction of a ‘starred first’ to distinguish exceptional students.

James Hughes News Reporter

The highly debated topic of higher education has entered a new dimension of cynicism following an investigation by The Sunday Times into degree results.

The findings established that the percentage of students graduating with first or high second class degrees is almost double what it was 40 years ago.

This has prompted an inquiry into the university grading system which has been in doubt amongst officials for some time now.

UEA was one of the many academic establishments mentioned in the report compiled from the statistics of the survey. The percentage of graduates obtaining a first class degree has increased from 5% in 1970 to 15% today.

The grade inflation has been partly attributed to the relaxing of some university marking standards due

to the incorporation of polytechnics into the overall university system.

Prof. Alan Smithers of Buckingham University suggests that “giving university status to the polytechnics, some of which are very good, freed them to award their own degrees and they have exercised that freedom to award high degrees to relatively poorlyqualified entrants.”

The reason for the evident rise in the numbers of graduates receiving the top degrees from traditional universities still remains uncertain, however.

There is speculation that the necessity to appear superior to other academic establishments, in order to gain research grants and encourage new students, has meant universities have been giving graduates higher marks to improve their status in the league tables.

Reassurance has been provided for students, as well as the universities

that have been alluded to as the main culprits of deliberate grade inflation. A Universities UK spokesperson has stated that “The proportion of firsts and 2:1s awarded has increased marginally in recent years, reflecting increases in entry levels” and thus this is simply indicative of an academically thirsty generation.

Annie Ogden, Head of

Communications, said that reasons for the change could range from “the introduction of modular degrees to the possibility that students may be working harder; some subjects have raised their entry requirements, so many students now arrive with higher qualifications from the outset. Different marking or teaching methods may now also be employed”.

Grade inflation suggests ‘dumbing down’ of degrees

New language course announced Danny Collins Editor

The University has recently announced the establishment of a Japanese language degree for the 2011-12 academic year as part of a partnership with Japanese food giant, Yakult.

Japanese Language Studies, which has been made possible through the funding of a new teaching post, will commence next academic year,. Prof David Peters Corbett, Dean of the Faculty of Arts and Humanities at UEA, said: “In a time when rapid globalization is taking place, the importance of understanding different

cultures cannot be underestimated,.

“We are delighted that Yakult UK is generously supporting the creation of this new lectureship, which in turn will see the establishment of a new degree course. We vigorously continue to develop Japanese strands in our education and research, and our aim is to make UEA a key destination for students and researchers who wish to study Japan and its culture.”

The course will join a diverse list of languages taught at the University, ranging from the traditional modern languages, to Russian and Chinese.

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Tuesday 18th January

UEA law lecturer sentenced Julian Myerscough, the UEA criminal law lecturer who was found guilty of possessing indecent images of children, has been sentenced to 15 months in prison.

In addition to this, Myerscough has been placed on the Sex Offenders’ Register for ten years and must pay prosecution costs totalling £3,000. He was also given a ten year sexual offences prevention order. These orders are designed to prevent the offender from committing further offences.

Myerscough was found guilty after the inappropriate images were viewed within minutes of other pages. These pages were found to reflect Myerscough’s interests, including cricket and classical music.

Davina Kesby

UEA appoints new head of climate research

UEA hands out £38,785.61 in “refunded fees and expenses” • Universities revealed to be giving compensation to students for courses which are “not up to standard”.

• UEA reimburse a postgraduate student over £50,000 for fees, expenses and sponsorship.

Susanna Wood

News Reporter

It has been revealed that in the 2009-10 year a UEA student received £56,138.11 in compensation from the University.

The figure was released following an investigation by The Guardian into how much money is paid out to students studying at UK universities. UEA was revealed to have awarded the second highest amount to students out of all UK institutions.

The international student, who was on a postgraduate course, was reimbursed £38,785.61 for living expenses and flights. An additional £17,352.50 was paid to the sponsor of the student to refund fees paid since 2005.

The reasons why the compensation was awarded were withheld by the University

when asked, saying that due to “confidentiality and data protection”, they were unable to give details of the individual case.

An article published in The Guardian on 27th December 2010 suggests that compensation cases such as this one show that students are willing to fight for what they pay for during higher education.

The University, however, has highlighted that this particular case was an isolated incident and therefore not indicative of a rise in student expectations.

A spokesperson for the University said: “We are proud of the levels of overall satisfaction expressed by our students. Cases such as this are extremely rare and it is right that students should be compensated where appropriate.”

The Union of UEA Students provide support for compensation cases through their Advice

Union bar prices on the rise after VAT increase Davina Kesby

News Editor

UEA has appointed a new Director of the Tyndall Centre for Climate Change who will also act as the new Chair of Climate Change Science and Policy at the University.

Prof Corinne Le Quéré has a Ph.D. in Oceanography and MS in Atmospheric and Oceanic Sciences and BSc in Physics.

Originally from Canada, Professor Le Quéré will conduct research on the interactions between climate change and the carbon cycle. She lectures internationally, and said: “The Tyndall Centre is a young and vibrant Institute with a highly respected international reputation.

I look forward to maintaining and enhancing Tyndall’s renown and exploring new avenues of research”.

Ed Leftwich

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The recent increase in VAT has led to an increase in bar prices at UEA. Spirits and beers have increased by 10p, with soft drinks and hot drinks unaffected.

On the 4th January, VAT was increased from 17.5% to 20%. As a tax on goods and services, this rise has been reflected in retail outlets across the country as well as within the Union of UEA Students.

Prime Minister David Cameron

has intimated that the rise, while initially thought to be a temporary measure in order to tackle the budget deficit, may be permanent.

Speaking to the BBC, Cameron said that the changes are having to be “pretty permanent”.

In 2009, the then Chancellor Alistair Darling reduced VAT to 15% in an attempt to revive the economy by encouraging people to shop more. The figure of 17.5% was restored in January 2010, making this increase the second in a year.

Laura Smith Students have been successful in claiming compensation from their universities

Centre. Talking to Concrete, Union Academic Officer, Rachel Handforth, said: “The Union will always support students who have been found to have been disadvantaged in their education.”

Other prominent universities were also revealed to have given large sums in compensation to students over the last year.

Examples include Cardiff

University, awarding £39,100, and Exeter, awarding £21,500.

Thames Valley University was the only university to award more money than UEA, with £55,437 reimbursed to nine students after their tutor went on sick leave.

This issue is particularly pertinent with the rise in tuition fees, as students may expect higher quality tuition for their money.

<< Continued from page 1

our network in a week when many students had coursework and assignments due. Decisions about deadline extensions were made by each faculty individually and the faculties will be explaining their decisions to their students.

“I am writing to all exam boards to ask them to ensure that no student is disadvantaged as a result of this problem. In addition, changes will be put in place to ensure that a future network breakdown does not impact so badly on our ability to communicate.”

A full response from the university is expected at the Union Council meeting on February 3rd, with Professor Tom Ward confirmed to attend, along with the Associate Deans of the four faculties and the head of UEA IT. Anger amongst students remains, with one student stating: “Due to the Techpocalypse I have missed out on an accommodation offer at my year abroad university.”

Questions also remain as to why the hardware which plays host to the UEA network managed to fail only 2 ½ years into its five year lifespan.

Computer says no...

Each Faculty was placed in charge of whether or not to extend their deadlines, with the Faculty of Science postponing their coursework deadlines until the 20th January. The Faculty of Humanities, however, postponed their coursework deadlines until the 17th December, giving students just one extra day.

Rachel Handforth, Academic Officer of the Union of UEA Students, said: “‘The Union is extremely disappointed that the IT and network problems caused so much distress for students in the last week of term - a stressful enough time already.

“The University should have done more to communicate with students effectively about the problems, and as all students were equally affected by the system crash, students felt that there should have been a standard extension of all deadlines for coursework.”

After the resolution of the problems, Professor Tom Ward said: “We are extremely sorry about the disruption caused to students as a result of the fault in

Joshua Resoun

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Riverside club to re-open

Union appoints new chief executive • Project Nightclub to be opened in place of the Lava/Ignite complex which shut down in September 2007

The UEA Union of Students has recently appointed a new chief executive, Richard Powell OBE. Powell has extensive experience running charities and is expected to aim the Union toward becoming a low-carbon union.

Rob Bloomer, Chair of the Board of Trustees, said: “Richard will be an excellent addition to the management team of the Union.

Throughout the interview process I have been consistently impressed with his people management skills, strategic ability and his ability to innovate and fundraise.

I envisage us really developing as the exemplar low-carbon union that we aim to be.

Richard’s passion for the job was evident throughout, and I very much look forward to working with him when he begin his role.”

• Professor Green to perform at VIP opening night on February 24th

James Schofield

News Reporter

UEA launches iPad prospectus

UEA have launched an app which will allow prospective students to view information about the university on an iPad. The free app provides information on courses available at UEA, the student experience, facilities, accommodation and the local area. The university is the first in the UK to develop an app of this kind.

Suzy Gook, Head of Marketing and Admissions, said: “It’s great to see our prospectus being downloaded in this format around the world and to see the popularity of the iPad growing. The most interest so far has come from the UK, the USA and China.”

UEA Union puts on free screening

The Union is putting on a free showing of “Black Dynamite” on Thursday, January 27th in Lecture Theatre One. Starring Michael Jai White as the gun-toting, nunchuckwielding, ladies’ man and soul brother Black Dynamite.

Shot in Super 16 Film, this ribcracking spoof of “blaxploitation”. films from the 1970’s blends the likes of Black Belt Jones, Shaft, Bruce Lee and Dirty Harry.

The Union is also promoting the films release onto DVD at the Club Retro LCR on Saturday 22nd January.

The Project nightclub, which opens in February

Greg Mann

Ziggurats used for new Streets album artwork Rianne Ison

News Reporter

Mike Skinner of ‘The Streets’ has unveiled his brand new album cover for ‘Computers and Blues’, which is to be released in February, with the rather familiar view of Norfolk Terrace at UEA. The front man of the British band is seen gazing from UEA’s iconic Ziggurat building, illuminated by a pink light.

Skinner, best known for hits such as ‘Dry your eyes’ which charted at number one in 2004, has been quoted as saying that he chose the 1960s building after performing at UEA’s LCR venue, because he “liked the look of it”.

Skinner is reported to have attended an after party at the accommodation block after his performance and, like many

others, fell in love with its characteristic architecture.

‘Computer and Blues’ is the fifth and final album from The Streets as Skinner wishes to pursue other projects, however they will be returning to UEA as they perform their farewell tour on the February 28th at the LCR. The album is released on February 7th.

The Ziggurats are a Grade II listed building and were named as “one of the most outstanding new university designs in Britain” when they were built in the 1960s.

The UEA campus has also recently been used as the backdrop to an advert for Levi jeans. A UEA spokesperson said: “The university has very distinctive architecture and is set in an extremely attractive environment, so we are often approached by

Nearly four years since its closure, the nightclub formerly known as Lava/Ignite in the Riverside complex is to reopen, under the new name of Project.

The club, adjacent to the Hollywood Bowl and seen as an integral part of the area, will host a VIP grand opening on Thursday 24th February. The opening of Project follows the reopening of the Hollywood Bowl in December 2010.

The Lava/Ignite nightclub closed in 2007 due to structural concerns with the building, a move which also forced the closure of the adjoining bowling alley.

Since then, the Riverside complex, which also includes Wetherspoon’s Queen of Iceni pub, an Odeon cinema and several restaurants, has been hit hard by the loss of money spent by thousands of clubbers each week. The absence of Lava/Ignite has seen other bars, such as Norwegian Blue, being forced to close their doors due to the fall in custom.

In May last year, the site landlord launched a £20m lawsuit against contractors, claiming a breach of contract when the structure was

built. However, an out-of-court legal settlement resolved the row, and a legal deal was struck to enable both the nightclub and bowling alley to be refurbished.

The opening of the club will generate 75 part-time and fulltime jobs and increase the level of spending in the surrounding area.

Caroline Williams, chief executive of Norfolk Chamber of Commerce, was pleased with the news.

“This is good news for Norwich as the creation of new jobs will be key to the economic development of the city. At a time when the service industry is finding it challenging, this shows a positive commitment to Norwich.”

Project Nightclub will host a range of nights, including an indie music night on Fridays, comedy nights, and karaoke. The club will also see a host of live acts over the course of the year.

After Lava/Ignite was well regarded for hosting popular student nights every Thursday, the club has descended into myth, with very few current students having visited. Jay Reeves, alumnus of UEA in the class of 2008, commented that “if Project is half as good as Lava/ Ignite was on Thursdays, you’re in for a treat”.

Artwork for the new Streets album, Computers and Blues

companies who want to use our campus as a backdrop to still photography or films. We take each request on merit, ensuring

that such an activity would not inconvenience staff or students and that the subject matter is not inappropriate”.

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Millbank protester

jailed A student who hurled a fire extinguisher from the roof of Conservative Party HQ into the crowd below has been jailed.

Edward Woollard, 18, was among those who broke into the Millbank building during the student protests of November 10th. The incident occurred after protestors detracted from the route of the march and broke into Conservative Party Headquarters, occupying the roof for several hours. The empty fire extinguisher missed a line of police officers by a matter of feet, avoiding potentially serious injury.

Woollard stepped forward after his mother persuaded him to turn himself in to the police.

Judge Geoffrey Rivlin QC told the defendant that it was “exceedingly fortunate that your action did not result in death...to a police officer or a fellow protestor”. Woollard has been sentenced to two years and eight months in prison, with half of the term to be served in a young offenders’ institute.

James Schofield

Charles Clarke fronts lecture series

A series of lectures co-ordinated by former MP Charles Clarke will be taking place this semester.

The title of the series is ‘The “Too Difficult” Box’ and will tackle some of the difficult issues facing society.

The lectures hope to address why some of the long-running problems in society have not yet been solved by politics.

The Rt. Hon. Charles Clarke will open the series with an introductory lecture on Thursday January. 20th. All of the lectures will take place on Thursdays at 6pm in the Thomas Paine Centre lecture theatre.

Various policy-makers will be taking part, including renowned sociologist Anthony Giddens and former cabinet minister Patricia Hewitt.

Davina Kesby

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27 Liberal Democrat MPs vote in favour of fees • Policy on fees passed by a slim majority of 21 votes, with 323 votes in favour and 302 against.

• Simon Wright honours pledge to rebel against party and vote against tuition fee proposals.

Davina Kesby

News Editor

After months of debate, the vote on whether to raise tuition fees to a maximum of £9,000 was passed in the House of Commons by just 21 votes. The Lords also backed the proposals, despite an attempt from Labour Lords to amend the bill and send it back to the Commons.

The vote, which took place on the December 9th, saw 323 MPs voting in favour of a rise in fees, with 302 votes against. Students starting their studies in 2012 will face fees rising from the current figure of £3,290 to £6,000, with some universities being eligible to charge up to £9,000-a-year for tuition.

The education policies of the new Coalition Government have been shrouded in controversy, with many unhappy students turning to protest in order to voice their opposition.

President of the National Union of Students, Aaron Porter, said that the NUS are “incredibly disappointed and angry with the

politicians who have let us down so badly”.

Resignations

Two Liberal Democrat MPs, Mike Crockart and Jenny Willott, stepped down from their positions as junior ministerial aides in order to vote against the proposals. Lee Scott, the Conservative MP for Ilford North, resigned from his role as Parliamentary Secretary and abstained on the vote.

Much has been made of the prospects for the MPs who rebelled against their parties, with some Conservative MPs facing considerable opposition from their colleagues. It has been rumoured that some MPs have been threatened by party whips, and could face losing their seats if constituency boundaries are redrawn.

The six Conservative MPs who voted against their party line and the two Tories who abstained on the vote now face a battle to regain credibility within their party, in spite of support from their constituents. Among those thought

Wally with a brolly: Nick Clegg gets in a spot of bother

Simon Wright, Liberal Democrat MP for Norwich South

Business Secretary Vince Cable and Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg, who both signed the NUS pledge yet voted in favour of the proposals

to be at risk is Tracey Crouch, the MP for Chatham and Aylesford, who was elected for the first time in the 2010 general election.

Kettled

On the day of the vote, thousands took to the streets in and around Westminster in a last attempt to influence the vote, which was evidently going to be close as speculation grew about whether Liberal Democrats would honour their pre-election pledge to vote against a rise in fees.

Much of the media coverage after the protests was focused on the fact that a car which was transporting Prince Charles and the Duchess of Cornwall to the Royal Variety Performance was attacked. One of the rear windows was cracked and the car was covered in paint.

The tactics of the police have come under fire, with many protesters being kettled for hours.

Kettling involves containing a group of protesters in a particular area and letting them out of the contained area in small numbers.

It has been reported that clashes between the police and the activists took a turn for the worse when it was evident that the police were kettling large groups of people.

As the outcome of the vote was spread amongst protesters, the violence intensified, with several windows of Treasury buildings being smashed. 12 police officers and 43 protesters were injured on the day.

Hughes takes HE access role

In a further twist, Simon Hughes, the Deputy Leader of the Liberal Democrats who abstained in the vote on fees, has been appointed as an advocate for access to higher education. This role, which is a six month unpaid position, will include going into schools and talking to teenagers from poorer backgrounds.

This is a move that has been condemned by Labour as being a cynical attempt to win back disenchanted voters. Mr Hughes said that his role was “to make sure people understand the facts”.

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Former UEA chaplain jailed on child porn charges

A former chaplain at UEA has been jailed after pleading guilty to downloading inappropriate images of children after being arrested in June 2010.

Father John Shannon, who was a priest in Costessey and a chaplain at UEA, downloaded 740 indecent images of children and was sentenced to eight months in prison on the January 14th. He has also been placed on the sex offenders’ register for ten years and has been banned from working with children for life.

Three of the images accessed were classed at level 5, the most severe category, with 521 at level 1 seriousness. The children were aged between 9 and 15, and were predominantly young boys.

In a statement, the Catholic priest said that “curiosity and lack of self-control that led him to access these websites”.

His celibacy, as result of being a priest for 30 years, was blamed for his compulsion to view the images, many of which were deleted after being viewed.

At the time of his arrest, Shannon was a part-time lecturer at Ulshaw College in Durham. His arrest was prompted by information passed to Durham Police from the college, after the college authorities discovered that someone had made a considerable number of attempts to access restricted websites through the college computer system.

The Rt. Rev. Michael Evans, Bishop of East Anglia, said: “Any form of abuse of children, including that involved in the production of indecent images, is something we cannot tolerate as Christians”.

During the trial, it was revealed that Shannon had sought counselling for his problem and was “genuinely remorseful” for what he had done. The Diocese of East Anglia said that Shannon had never been the subject of any complaint about inappropriate behaviour with children.

He voluntarily withdrew from his positions within the ministry shortly after his arrest.

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Sportspark gymnastics extension to be built Rianne Ison

News Reporter

Work is to commence this month on a brand new Olympic gymnastics centre for UEA’s Sportspark, which will cost a total of £2.8m and is due to open in September.

It will include pits for vaulting, tumble tracks, a high bar, floor area and floor level trampoline for the gymnasts to make use of and hone their skills.

The director of the Sportspark, Keith Nicholls, who is responsible for developing the centre, said: “There are hundreds of children in the area waiting to get into a gymnastics club.”

Therefore, the centre is specifically for those who wish to take up gymnastics at an introductory level, but of course will be a practice space for those individuals that are more advanced as well.

Mr. Nicholls added that “A director of gymnastics will be appointed whose role it will be to develop a programme of foundation level gymnastics”.

He continued that the brand new centre would be a source of encouragement for those who have a strong passion and talent for gymnastics.

Rugby scholarship for Pharmacy masters student James Elliot, a final year Pharmacy masters student at UEA has become the first beneficiary of a scholarship from local rugby side North Walsham Vikings.

James will receive £1,000 towards his course fees and in return will play for the Vikings at weekends. He will also be able to play for the UEA RFC to enable him to make the most of his university sporting experience.

The scholarship is available to any talented rugby player who studies at the University of East Anglia.

For more details on this story turn to page 24 in this fortnight’s Concrete Sport section.

Ian Hobbs

Nicholls believes that the development of the Sportspark will give individuals the opportunity to compete with reputable clubs and further their skills.

UEA Sportspark will also be hiring out the space for competitions and training, according to the director.

The development of the new Olympic Gymnastics centre is only one aspect of the overall plans for the new Sportspark, including the addition of sixty extra car park spaces to

Greg Mann

the car park.

The expansion of the Sportspark is already underway with the building work having commenced on three new soccer pitches, which are due to open at the end of January, of course weather permitting. This will cost a total of £400,000 due to each 48m by 24m pitch having a 3rd generation synthetic grass surface.

This project falls during the Sportspark’s 10th anniversary year.

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10 COMMENT AND OPINION

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Nick Clegg: The new year and the new problems It’s been a somewhat difficult year for our Deputy Prime Minister, so, in the tradition of New Year reflection, Concrete looks at what 2011 has in store for Mr Nick Clegg.

Emma Parrott

While we were all digging into that third box of Quality Street this Christmas, Nick Clegg, the selfportrayed national martyr, was looking wide-eyed into a camera for his annual New Year’s message.

“I don’t want to pretend it’s all been easy” he told his members.

“Action to tackle the deficit and the need to reform higher education has forced us to make some incredibly difficult decisions.”

What a year it’s been for Mr Clegg.

April saw the awesome spread of ‘Cleggmania’: the undying support for a man who could do no wrong.

The televised debates sparking the catchphrase everyone has come to regret of “I agree with Nick”.

Yet come 6th May 2010, this failed to translate into votes. On arriving at Richmond College on election night, Vince Cable was heckled “What’s happened to Cleggmania?” to which Cable replied “There’s not a lot of it around”.

Things just went from bad to

worse in November, when student protests began around the country.

We all have photos hanging around that we wish had never been taken, but does anyone regret a photo as much as Clegg must bemoan that of him holding his pledge to vote against student fee rises?

No doubt these were just a couple of thoughts going through Nick Clegg’s mind as Big Ben struck midnight this New Year, but what does 2011 hold for the Deputy Prime Minister?

The protesters may have stopped for a Christmas break, but this doesn’t mean they won’t come back angrier and with even longer sticks with which to poke the Duchess of Cornwall. Few would now suggest that these protests have been purely student led, with reporters everywhere clamouring to denounce the ‘anarchists’. I never realised so many 16 and 17-year-olds were into the work of Pierre-Joseph Proudhon, but never mind.

The New Year VAT rises and soaring petrol prices will surely be enough to rile even the most peaceful parts of the electorate. Perhaps we will see even more ‘anarchists’ take to the streets of London.

Clegg is also almost certain to face

further and tougher rebellion from his own party. The Oldham East and Saddleworth by-election of January 13th was painted as the first major test of the coalition. In the actual event, Labour won comfortably, in a moment described by Ed Miliband as a “wake-up call” for the Coalition.

The European Union Bill, which began its committee stage in the House of Commons last week, is also sure to cause further tensions in the Cameron-Clegg bromance.

The European Union was always set to be a deal-breaker for the coalition and the dynamite factor of this particular bill is that it does not go far enough for eurosceptic

Conservatives whilst also failing the Liberal Democrat manifesto promise of putting ‘Britain at the heart of Europe’. Watch this space.

The alternative vote referendum of May 5th 2011 will also surely be high on Clegg’s list of priorities for the up-coming year.

If Cameron and his party campaign for a ‘no’ vote, the coalition is unlikely to survive. Furthermore, any sustained ‘no’ vote campaign from the Conservatives will almost certainly raise questions among Liberal Democrats as to why they ever agreed to take part in this Coalition.

It’s like a football game. Both sides agree to play by the rules,

Innocent until proven guilty?

but then in the second half one team starts picking up the ball and throwing it into the goal. The 27 Liberal Democrats who voted with the Government on tuition fees, for example, might feel the game isn’t being played fairly.

One thing is certain: whatever Clegg does do/ doesn’t do/ promises but then fails to do, there will be a corresponding Facebook group.

Highlights from 2010 include: ‘Why did Nick Clegg cross the road?

Because he promised not to’ and ‘The awkward moment when Nick Clegg destroys your future’.

Good luck, Nick. I think you might need it.

After a year marred by protests turned violent and clashes with the police, Concrete looks at the problem of police brutality and asks how equal before the law we really are?

Jack Brinded

As children we’re told that all men and women in our society are equal before the law, and I must admit, it sounds lovely; it makes us feel warm and safe.

However, it must be acknowledged that it’s also quite apparently a fairytale which, over the past year, has taken a series of heavy blows.

It had already taken a hefty beating in the wake of various scandals; perhaps the most infamous case being that of Jean Charles De Menezes who was killed by the Metropolitan Police. The Crown Prosecution Service never brought

charges against any individual involved.

It seems reasonable to estimate that high profile cases such as De Menezes, Blair Peach and most recently Ian Tomlinson are just the tip of an ever-expanding iceberg, as the police continue to dodge the punishment that they so clearly deserve.

However, on the January 11th this year 18-year-old Edward Woollard, the A-level student who, no matter how you look at it, hurt no one, was sentenced to two years eight months in prison for violent disorder.

What joke of a charge do you expect to be brought for the cop who beat Alfie Meadows over the head so hard he needed brain surgery at the December 9th 2010 protest in London?

Time and again the law and the state come down on the side of police brutality, whilst criminalising the ordinary citizen over the imaginings of what might have happened.

And this sham isn’t confined to London life, as was shown recently when an impressive demonstration took place in Norwich on the 6th of December 6th. Hundreds of City College students of 16 to 18 took to the streets in protest against cuts to travel subsidies.

The demo was praised by the Tory leader of the Norfolk County Council, Derrick Murphy, but this in reality was an empty gesture.

The reality was a council which had prepared for every eventuality stationing riot police at key locations, which they were fully prepared to deploy against young people, many first time protesters,

some still children, exercising their democratic right to lobby their local County Council. The scandalous story was never covered by Look East.

If those in armour had been called into action in defence of the state, had they beaten college

students on the streets of Norwich, and had there been another Alfie Meadows case, what do we expect would have happened to the policeperson responsible?

I have an inkling that they wouldn’t be sharing a cell with Edward Woollard anytime soon.

ISSUE 250

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Tuesday 18th January

COMMENT AND OPINION 11

Can Britain really afford climate change?

After the coldest December since records began, Concrete looks at what it will take to stop the country from coming to a standstill again.

Joshua Resoun

Cancún, Mexico: the year was 2010 and from the November 29th to the December 10th the United Nations Climate Change Conference took place. Representatives from around the world battled it out for a new deal on how to tackle climate change, and the result was a new agreement between participating countries, giving a new lease of life for those who wished to combat climate change.

The average temperature in December was -1C

What, however, does climate change really mean for Britain? Last year was one of the coldest on record, with the months of November and December seeing heavy snowfall, travel disruption and widespread chaos across Britain.

The consequences of climate change are more complicated than us enjoying hotter summers and hating colder winters. It is the monetary costs of climate change which worries me the most, as, after all, money makes

the world go round.

Let’s begin with rock salt, which is used to grit Britain’s roads during periods of snow and ice. In 2009 the BBC filed a report which placed, on average, the cost of a single tonne of rock salt at (for simplicity’s sake) £27. Now, Edinburgh City Council aimed to stockpile 10,000 tonnes of rock salt; that’s £270,000 to simply purchase the rock salt, let alone store and distribute the salt throughout the year. Aberdeen City Council stockpiled 17,000 tonnes in 2010, at a cost of £459,000.

Now Scotland requires more rock salt than most in Britain, but the cost of buying, storing and distributing rock salt also varies, and in reality you’re looking at millions upon millions of pounds to combat a mild winter, let alone the harsh winters which we have been experiencing recently. I would also like to point out that in 2009 a £2billion roads repair bill was filed to repair potholes and other damage caused by harsh winter weather. I’d like to say, that’s a lot.

What about the amount of money lost by businesses as a consequence of the harsh winter weather? BAA for example is expecting a bill of at least £40 million for weather-related disruption. Air France-KLM lost around 70 million euros (about £58

million). Estimates from the insurer Royal Sun Alliance placed the cost of the weather to the UK economy at £1 billion per day.

2010 was the 12th coldest year in the UK on record

These figures are quite high to say the least, and I’m still only talking about the economic costs of climate change here. What if we wanted to do something about it; how much would that cost?

So, let’s say that we want to tackle climate change with some good old renewable energy, and if every country did this, climate change would be averted and these crazy costs of rock salt and road repairs would disappear. After some research I came across some interesting figures, if, for example, you wanted to provide wind power to the whole of the UK, it would take, at the minimum estimates, 30,000 wind turbines; costing, at minimum estimates, £2 million each. That’s a nice little £60 billion mark; once again, that’s a lot of money. Other methods, such as nuclear power, are even more expensive.

I haven’t had room here to go into

Everyone’s talking about it

an in-depth analysis of the economic costs of climate change; I don’t think the entire of Concrete would have room for that analysis.

Either way, Britain is going to face a huge bill. Combating climate change, or simply toughing it out in the coming years is going to hamper

the Government’s plans to reduce the deficit.

I merely hope that the economic costs are forgotten, and the impact that climate change will have on human lives are taken into account.

All I know is that Britain cannot afford climate change.

In another week of complaints to the BBC about the nation’s favourite soap opera, Concrete asks the question: what is all the fuss about?

Alex Couzens

Another year. Another Eastenders plot. Another host of newspaper headlines. Another win for the BBC. The New Year saw the explosion of the baby-stealing storyline in Eastenders. For the unaware, let me fill you in. Ronnie and Kat both had babies over Christmas. Sadly, Ronnie’s baby dies of cot death on New Year’s Eve. Dramatic isn’t it?

Well, not dramatic enough for the Eastenders’ writers. So, Ronnie, bleary-eyed, walks into the pub, goes

upstairs while everyone downstairs is merrily drinking the night away and swaps her dead baby for Kat’s living one. Last week saw Kat bury this child, believing it to be hers.

This beauty of a storyline has resulted in over 6,000 complaints to the BBC and tabloid frenzy. To add fuel to fire, the actress who plays Ronnie, Samantha Womack, this week quit the show. If no publicity is bad publicity then the BBC must be rubbing their hands in delight over this one.

Of course the tabloids could be missing the scariest part here. If 6,000 people felt the need to pick

up the phone, pen or laptop to make such a complaint, what does this say about our nation of televisionwatchers? Could they, at risk of sounding somewhat patronising, think Eastenders is real?

“Soaps are not real. They’re not even realistic”

Samantha Womack was attacked in the street last week, by a woman shouting that she was a murdering bitch. Does this person

also believe that Stacey is sunning herself somewhere with baby Lily, having got away with the murder of Archie? What about the fact that Ian Beale has somehow convinced not one, not two, but four women to marry him?

See, my point is, soaps are not real. They’re not even realistic. They exist purely to fill gossip magazines.

As Eastenders never tires of telling us: everyone’s talking about it.

To back this up, you need only imagine the viewing figures. Most people, people who care anyway, were well aware, weeks before New Year’s Eve, what the plotline

was for that evening. Countless soap magazines lined our petrol stations and newsagents shelves with photos of Ronnie and babyswapping headlines. So here’s a question for you: why watch it? If it is that shocking and that upsetting, why bother watching it?

I’ll leave you with this little reported fact. Viewing figures for Eastenders have actually gone up this week. That’s right, from 10.4 million viewers last Monday to 11.1 million by the Wednesday. 11.1 million against 6,000 complaints – do you really think the BBC cares?

NEED TO HAVE A RANT ABOUT SOMETHING? CONTACT CONCRETE.OPINION@UEA.AC.UK AND WE’LL GET YOUR VOICE HEARD

12

FEATURES

ISSUE 250

www.concrete-online.co.uk

concrete.features@uea.ac.uk

STUDENT UNION BANS NESTLE Britain’s best-selling ba

r is given the boot!

Still in effect today, the start of the Nestle boycott was covered by Concrete back in 1993. Union councillors decided to ban the sale of their products after the motion was proposed by EnvSoc. The ban came about after the organisation ‘Baby Milk Action’ claimed that the corporation was sending free powdered milk to mothers in third-world countries which discouraged them from breast-feeding, leading to the deaths of 4,000 babies every day. Reaction at the time was mixed, but many students felt that the student body taking on a multinational corporation was something to be proud of – despite the loss of the beloved Kit-Kat. (10th November 1993)

POP BAND WRECKS CAMPUS KITCHENS

After performing at UEA, St Etienne stayed at Constable Terrace - their antic s included squirting ketchup on the walls, baking coffee onto trays under the grill, and for cing open students locked cupb oards with a wrench!!! (27th April 1994)

MPUS £30,000 THEFT FROMsayCA University officials

Raid could be linked to international operation,

The School of Information Systems was broken into by thieves back in April 1993. Only topspec machines were stolen - like the Apple Quadras (a far cry away from the Apple MacBooks of today). UEA officials stated that the thieves ‘could be involved in a national or even international network of computer thefts.’ There were a number of similar incidents at other universities across the country including Cambridge. (12th May 1993)

ISSUE 250

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Tuesday 18th January

FEATURES 13

“I RESENT BEING COM PARED TO SADDAM HUSSEIN” Emotions run high as fo

rmer US Secretary of St

ate visits UEA

A heated debate took place in Lecture Theatre 1 back in 2003 when former US Secretary of State Madeline Albright arrived during her tour of Europe. Around 7080 protesters attended to speak out against her controversial involvement in the UN’s sanction policy against Iraq, which ‘some believe led to the deaths of 500,000 children.’ During the talk she was compared to Saddam Hussein after Dr Rupert Read, Head of Philosophy, accused her of having ‘blood on her hands for not allowing the provision of necessary materials for rebuilding Iraq’s health and sanitation systems.’

(5th November 2003).

COUGH UP!

The UEA Village was a very different place back in 1994.

Shortly after opening , students started complaining about dirty mattresses and an inf estation of bed bugs. Some sh ower floors slanted away from the plug-hole!

(19th October 1994)

Hold the front page!

To celebrate our 250th issue, Adam Fenwick takes a look at the past 19 years of Concrete. It’s been a hard job, but we’ve uncovered some of the biggest and most bizarre stories of UEA’s history - from the boycott of Nestle products to a pop band causing havoc in Constable Terrace.

BARING UP

rk own Sportspa UEA’s very an st s to ho revealed plan r competition fo l internationa re et -m 50 e ers. Th naturist swimm r the event as it fo l ea id as pool w so glass window only had one h uc m ldn’t get too passers-by wou ) 00 0th May 20 of an eye full! (1

BANNED

The Union stops Concrete being distributed in their buildings because they don’t lik e our advert It’s hard to believe, but your friendly student newspaper got itself in a spot of bother back in 2003. The issue dated Wednesday 26th February was removed from all outlets on campus within an hour of the new issue being delivered after it had received complaints from around ‘five, six or seven’ students regarding an advert for a local strip-club. The advert showed the back of a naked woman and offered a free lap-dance to every reader. The Union Executive Committee decided to ban the issue on campus unless the advert was withdrawn. However, a number of students were angry at the decision, particularly then Concreteeditor Katie Hind – “Anyone who gets offended by this is going to have trouble watching television. It also seems silly that the Union are happy to continue selling newspapers such as The Sun and The Star which feature naked women.”

(12th March 2003)

office What was the Concrete 94? listening to inDa19 rkheart Bomb The Bass: r a Reason Boyzone: Love Me Fo shot re Su : ys Beastie Bo

DARING TWO WHO TOOK THE MICKEY Jokers scale Registry in Disney flag-switch caper

Two unidentified students scaled the Registry and replaced the UEA flag with their own version ‘WELCOME TO DISNEYLAND’. They said - “It had to be done - a practical joke to end all practical jokes. We suspect only a porter or two and a few birds saw what we did. We were armed with two ladders, a rope, a flashlight, and a lot of balls. And no-one saw us doing it...” (7th June 1995)

CONCRETE - A (VERY) BRIEF HISTORY UEA’s independent student newspaper was set-up by three students back in 1992 on an overdraft. Although its future was uncertain, Concrete celebrated its fiftieth issue in 1995. In the same year, the paper’s office had a complete refit and was shortlisted for the Guardian and National Union of Students Awards in the ‘Student Newspaper of the Year’ category. By its fiftieth issue, Concrete was read by 98% of UEA students.

UP A RIGHT BEatER cost SU the

15 years ago, a pint on only £1! Concrete reported ter bet pay to ts the 10p rise in pin er wages to bar staff and low et. ark erm sup on uni the prices in t, With today’s price of £2.20 a pin we uld and an increase in VAT, sho be worried for the future?

(29th May 1996)

14

FEATURES

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www.concrete-online.co.uk

From halls to houses

concrete.features@uea.ac.uk

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From your second year, you’ll realise all the things you took for granted on campus. As a tenant you’ll now be responsible for paying bills, emptying your own bins and, unfortunately, cleaning your own showers!

Get things sorted over summer - contact your landlords to find out which energy companies supply the house then contact them the day you move in to provide them with your details. It’s easiest to pay by direct debit every month - you’ll end up paying less, more often rather than a huge bill at the end of term when you’ve got no money left. Sort your broadband out as early as possible as some companies won’t install your router for about a month after setting up the account.

The easiest way for everyone to pay for bills is to have one main bill-payer who everyone pays their share to on a regular basis. Make sure you trust the people you’re living with, though.

ANGLIAN WATER

DORIS RD.

BILL DUE

With rent and bills to pay on a regular basis, living in your own house means you’ll have to be a lot more frugal.

If you’ve brought your car to Norwich, do a big weekly shop at a supermarket with your housemates. You’ll be less likely to buy food during the week, especially wasting money on campus food. Set aside around £10 per week for communal meals - each take it in turns to cook an evening meal every night of the week. This means less time cooking, less people trying to cook at once, and enjoying the time with your housemates.

If your house has a garage, use it to store your bike. Don’t waste money on a bus pass when you can ride a bike for free while keeping fit.

Finally, your parents may say it at home and now you’ll know why - turn lights, water and heating off when you don’t need them. You’ll save a heap of cash in the long-term for... alcohol.

BACON RD.

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Jonathan Parr

M

GIPSY LN.

BOWTHORPE

“You go up to The Village and further.” West Ea then a bit rlham really is in the great yonder from UEA. With only a few shops in the centre and Aldi about ten m inutes walk, ther e really is nothin going on in Wes g t Earlham itself . However, the 22/21 bus route is only a 20 min ute ride and the area is very close to campus so it m akes University access a cinch.

The stores in clude: convenien pharmacy; butch ce store; er’s; baker’s (thou gh a tragic lack of a candlestickm aker’s); an inex plicable kebab shop; charity sto re; an even more mystifying tattoo parlour. The ba ker’s is great be cause they sell yesterday ’s brea d for 50p.

So Earlham is a kind of fairytale villains and str place with ange business initiatives but, ironically, it can help you can feel a bit more grown up.

LIVING ON A BUDGET

STUDENT LOAN

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If you live off and around Unthank next year you will not be disappointed. Possibly the most golden road in the Golden Triangle area, Unthank has it all. Directly on the 25 bus route there are two bus stops to choose from on your way into University: a little tip, the closer to the city the quieter the bus stop.

You’ll be spoilt for choice with takeaways, including a Chinese, an Indian and a Subway, not to mention the plethora of trendy cafes and gastro pubs. Your student loan will soon feel the pinch of as well as your jeans! The Co-op and a brand new Tesco Express has everything you could need.

There’s a dry cleaners and launderette for any unfortunate accidents with wine/the effects of wine. And last but not least there is also a hairdressers so you can always look your best for the LCR! Kate Allen

AVENUES

HELENA RD.

COLLEC T £1000

ng roads can be a Bluebell and the surroundi have to move off you e onc live to great location to be close to the t wan campus, particularly if you the university on r nea ng bei at gre University. It’s pre-drinks and ting hos LCR nights, particularly for walk. It’s not to e anc dist rt sho a ing then only hav generally, and r, eve how so convenient for town, to the centre get to i tax a or bus the you need to get of Norwich. r place to live than Bluebell Road is a quiete as, as there are not are t some of the other studen ether in one area. tog e clos ng livi ts so many studen to visit people so t wan It’s not too far to go if you th remembering wor it’s but , ried wor don’t be too a as Unthank. are an ly that it might not be as live e to campus clos so ng bei of ce ien The conven kes Bluebell ma lly rea LCR for both lectures and the .

Road the ideal place to live Hannah Evans

UNTHANK

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Moving out from halls to your own house can seem daunting. So Concrete has compiled the best advice for you and your housemates, along with quick guide to some of the most popular student locations around Norwich

ISSUE 250

Exploring the Ukrainian Utopia Josh Weatherill journeys around Ukraine, an emerging destination promising buzzing night-time venues, and a wealth of culture, from the vibrant cities of Kiev and Odessa to the tranquil Crimea.

Still struggling to reassert a national identity since independence, Ukraine broods in Russia’s shadow.

Sadly many people can only associate this diverse nation with Chernobyl – despite it being the second largest country in Europe. And don’t make the mistake of calling Ukraine ‘The Ukraine’; proud Ukrainians feel this makes their hard-earned land sound more like a region than a fully-fledged country.

Kiev, Ukraine’s grand capital, provides an excellent introduction to the country. Don’t let the vast stretches of indistinguishable Sovietera concrete flats put you off as you first arrive; the drab outskirts are in no way representative of the handsome green city beyond. Skirted by the great Dnieper River, the hilly centre of town is a maze of tree lined avenues and steep cobbled streets.

Onion domed churches resplendent in the sun peep out behind the mix of old and new architecture.

“...two scrapping grannies on a

marshrukta (rickety

minibus overflowing with passengers)

were particularly memorable.”

Saint Sophia Cathedral is Kiev’s crown jewel: a stunning example of Eastern Orthodox architecture where blue, green and gold colours are used to magnificent effect. The underground labyrinth of burial chambers that stretch for miles through the hills and were built

by Christian monks is another must see; a walk through the dark passageways with nothing but a

TRAVEL 15

www.concrete-online.co.uk

Tuesday 18th January

candle to illuminate the coffins is certainly a morbid pleasure.

In such beautiful surroundings, it’s a shame that smiles seem to be rationed in Kiev. Locals can often come across as cold, which isn’t necessarily surprising in a country whose language has no word for ‘excited’. Still, it’s not too difficult to find locals who’ll help you find your way – they might just need a little warming up first. And come night fall, Kiev casts off its inhibitions and enters the party spirit with an electric and indulgent night scene. Smoky basement clubs are where the citizens of Kiev come to misbehave - a Balkan beats night led to some of the craziest dancing this writer had ever seen.

Leaving the delights of Kiev behind, optimistic Odessa is a more laid-back coastal city where the iconic Potemkin Stairs bring in the Black Sea cruise ships (and money).

Indeed, the centre of Odessa has an affluent and refined air to it, with neoclassical palaces and wellmaintained gardens competing for one’s attention. The Odessa Ukraine Hostel went well with the look, being a beautiful high-ceilinged city apartment. However, surprisingly

up front fellow guests turned out to be more interested in the sex tourism scene, thinking that they could flash their British passports and have girls fall at their feet.

With numerous wedding agencies openly advertising Ukrainian women to western men, there is sadly some truth in their judgement.

A hot and cramped overnight train takes you from Odessa to Crimea - a mountainous autonomous region of Ukraine that juts out beneath the country as though loosely tacked on.

While many other Ukrainians are increasingly looking west to the EU, more traditional Crimeans feel nervy at the prospect of straying too far from the protective wing of Russia.

Sevastopol, home to Russia’s Black Sea fleet, is a good place to start – a pleasant and structured town that, until the mid-90s, was a ‘closed city’, surrounded by military outposts.

Russian tourists abound and indeed everything seems geared to Russian nationalism: flags flap patriotically in the sea breeze and pictures of Medvedev sit proudly in the cafes.

All-in-all, Ukraine is a curious country filled with eccentric characters - two scrapping grannies on a marshrutka (rickety minibus overflowing with passengers) were particularly memorable. Still finding its feet after the fall of the Soviet Union, a compulsive, hedonistic and sometimes gangsterish race to capitalism has left a noticeably large wealth gap; polished Rolls Royce’s and BMW’s stand out in contrast to worn-out Ladas.

Nonetheless, Ukraine is most definitely worth your time and I have only been able to touch on the delights and intrigues. With Ukraine jointly holding the Euro 2012 event with Poland, hopefully this fine country will become known for more than just Chernobyl.

Enchanting Istanbul Fiona Howard

Travel Writer

Every cliché about Istanbul that’s ever been written is true. It is the bridge between east and west, a melting pot of cultures and where minarets meet miniskirts. The Golden Horn area is fascinating but there is more to Istanbul, as you’d expect from a city over 130 times the size of Norwich, so here are two destinations not to leave off your list.

Istanbul offers a plethora of activities for those interested in art, shopping, history, or a weekend away. This all starts in Taksim on the European side. This is the heartbeat of the city. No trip to Istanbul is complete without meandering your way through the throngs or taking a ride on the tram down Istiklal. At the end of Istiklal Caddessi, towards Galata, is the world’s second oldest subway, the perfect ending.

After the hustle and bustle of Isiklal, the Princes’ Islands offer a quiet respite with charm, as no cars are allowed. A popular spot for locals in the summer, the Princes’ Islands often get missed off many tourists’ radar. These nine islands off the Asian coast, nearing the Sea of Marmara,

are about an hour’s ferry trip from mainland Istanbul offering the ideal opportunity to see the city from its best vantage point, the Bosphorus.

The islands used to be where the elite were exiled, and where large communities of ethnic minorities lived. A horse-drawn carriage round any of the Islands, in particular Buyuk Ada, allows for history to manifest in a tranquil environment and the chance to see the legacy of the wealth of Istanbul.

Competing with its cosmopolitan European counterparts, Istanbul also offers noise and vibrancy unlike any other that no article could ever truly capture. Istanbul truly is one of the most dynamic cities in the world right now.

Lovely jubbly Ljubljana Tom Hunt

Travel Editor

Ljubljana may not be the friendliest city to pronounce, but it is certainly among the friendliest in Europe.

The bubbly atmosphere of Slovenia’s capital reflects the pristine streets and buildings, all clustered between the river and the hill, atop of which stands the Castle.

Ljubljana Castle is the best place to grab your bearings on arrival. From here, you can look down at the river winding its way through the cobbled streets, each clogged with restaurant tables and chattering crowds and even further afield, to the mountains looming on the horizon beyond.

Descending into the city below, the relaxed and jovial people provide the very best of welcomes.

On this occasion, a host of Japanese tourists performed a quirky wizard sketch, casting spells complete with wands and capes, unabashed at their audience’s response. Among the pedestrians the odd fairy-tale character waltzed about on stilts, doffing caps to passers-by, while street entertainers sat strewn about the squares in the sunshine and sprawled across Dragon Bridge, a

Slovenian monument which crosses the Ljubljanica river three times.

The bridge is named in honour of the symbol of the city: the mythical green dragon. It can be seen everywhere, in statues and flags, as well as many a postcard and represents the legend of Jason, of Argonaut fame, who slew the beast nearby.

A break from the revelry can be found in the reverence of shady churches, where only a hushed silence prevails. Here time stands still behind beautifully carved stone doors, as locals come to pay their respects, before rejoining the neverending buzz outside.

Whether stopping by for a day or lingering longer, Ljubljana is an excellent place to move to your own pace while remaining at the centre of events. As capitals go, Slovenia certainly has a gem at its heart.

16 LIFESTYLE

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www.concrete-online.co.uk

concrete.lifestyle@uea.ac.uk

Is virginity an issue for university students?

Concrete looks at the implications and social connotations of students retaining their virginity at university Drew Nicol

Lifestyle writer

There are many reasons why students of both genders might arrive at university as a virgin.

The most common reasons, given by those who do so, are that they are saving themselves for the right person or have religious or other personal reasons. All of these are completely valid reasons to remain abstinent until a person is ready. In fact, not only is this a valid choice but recent statistics published would suggest that it is the smart one.

The BBC published results from a survey which stated that 63% of sexually active adolescents reported wishing they had waited longer before becoming sexually active. To add to this, although the average age for people in the UK to lose their virginity is 16, a statistic from the same BBC survey showed that 78% of all adolescents surveyed believed adolescents should not be sexually active. As well as this, 89% of those surveyed would advise their own brother, sister or friend not to have sex until at least after finishing secondary school.

Being a virgin at university can come with a lot of stigma and negative reactions by some more hedonistic

members of the population.

However, there are many people who would welcome the opportunity to be in a relationship with someone who is a virgin. After speaking to several students, both male and female, there was an opinion repeatedly voiced that many would relish the opportunity to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t come with a sordid past or an

Pictured, left, Ann Widdecombe is a famous virgin army of ex’s to contend with on social and sexual

terms.

However, regardless of the reality of the situation, some virgins are feeling a very real pressure to ‘lose it’ as fast as possible in order to avoid social awkwardness.

While speaking to a student who is open about his virginity he described the problems of not

“Virgins should

consider themselves a precious

commodity”

wishing to have to lie to those around him, but also wishing to avoid ridicule by the student population as a whole. He commented: “If I was with just my close friends and

Jack Wills us to purchase

Concrete examines the impressive rise of Jack Wills in 2010 Kristina Stephens

Lifestyle writer

In the last couple of years it might be hard not to have noticed that the high streets of towns and cities have been flooded with the likes of Jack Wills, Hollister and Abercrombie and Fitch.

Suddenly their new and exceedingly popular forms of ‘aspirational branding’ have caught on. In the last month our very own Norwich has joined in, and has seen the opening of both Jack Wills and Hollister stores in time for Christmas. These new additions to shopping in the city have apparently gone down a storm, even attracting queues outside.

These brands pride themselves on an air of exclusivity, one which you

might think is ensured by the high prices for fairly ordinary items, and intimidating attractive staff chosen due to their ‘look’. A pair of pants emblazoned with the JW logo will set you back a mere £19, and you won’t get much change of £100 for a duvet coloured with their trademark pink and blue stripes.

People might be taken aback by the way in which young people have flocked so quickly to brand themselves with these logos. Their success seems to emanate from marketing ploys to ‘sell a lifestyle’ which coincides with the overpriced clothing, and this is celebrated, particularly in the Jack Wills brochure, which takes the form of a ‘handbook’, also letting you know the right music to listen to and places

to be seen. Providing self-proclaimed “fabulously British goods for the university crowd”, “outfitters to the gentry”, is another, equally offensive tagline.

One can’t deny the success of the brand; it doubled its profits to £42m in 2009, yet some are less than impressed. A Facebook group entitled: ‘anyone who shops at Jack Wills is a complete c***’ has attracted attention, and the 63,000 members of ‘Why are you still in your PJ’s?

Oh sorry, didn’t see the ‘Jack Wills’ logo’ are clearly less than impressed.

There has also been criticism of the group which runs Hollister and Abercrombie due to their open discrimination when employing shop staff based on attractiveness.

the subject came up I wouldn’t lie, I’m not embarrassed about being a virgin. But in a larger group situation or at parties I would do my best to avoid the topic, or if I had to, I’d lie”.

A very positive opinion was shared by those who spoke to Concrete. Although most of them were at a stage where they would consider themselves ready to have sex, there was no mention of a feeling of desperation to do so.

“Although I’m ready to have sex, I’m in no way willing to compromise my standards or morals just to have it. I’m not at a stage where I’d be happy with letting my first time being a one night stand in a back alley or whatever,” he said.

Another student reinforced this, saying: “I can probably see myself having a sexual relationship with the next guy I go out with, but I’m

not bothered when he comes along if I’m honest”. What this shows is that although the social pressure to have sex is out there, and felt by students who are virgins every day, those who were willing to talk to Concrete at least were not letting it control or manipulate them into rushing something which should be an important and satisfying moment in a person’s life.

The biggest risk that comes from this perceived negativity towards being a virgin is the fact that some people might feel an urgency to have sex just to say they have, regardless of who with, where or when. The fact that this is a real problem raised by those spoken to by Concrete is even more of a tragedy considering that the reality of the situation is that people who are virgins should consider themselves a precious commodity.

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Tuesday 18th January

Concrete’s collection of culinary building blocks Spinach, feta and goat’s cheese pancakes

Italian white wine risotto

Ava Gaida

Emma Williamson

Lifestyle writer

Ingredients: • A knob of butter • Two tablespoons of olive oil • Three chopped onions • Two cloves of garlic • One cup of Arborio rice (per serving) • Thyme (fresh or dried) • Salt and pepper • One glass of white wine • 500ml of vegetable stock (chicken/beef stock can also be used) • 100g of grated parmesan cheese (vegan alternatives can be used)

Method: 1. In a large pan, heat the olive oil and butter until melted. On a high heat, add the onions, garlic and thyme and allow them to fry. After five minutes reduce the temperature to a low setting and allow the ingredients to cook slowly, stirring occasionally for thirty minutes.

Once the vegetables have softened, add the arborio rice and increase the temperature.

2. Continually stir until the rice has become translucent. Add the wine and deglaze any caramelisation that the onions have left at the bottom of the pan. Still stirring, allow the wine to evaporate and the rice to fully absorb the liquid.

3. Turning down the heat to a medium setting, add a ladleful of the hot stock to the pan and allow the risotto to absorb it. Continue to stir the mixture and repeat this procedure for seventeen minutes, adding stock as the risotto retains it.

If the risotto rice is not cooked to your taste, add boiling water and follow the same instructions until it softens to your desired degree.

4. Once cooked, remove from the pan from the heat and stir in the butter and cheese. Leave to stand for five minutes, season, then serve.

Student attitudes to volunteering at university Lisa Stevens looks into students’ relationship with volunteering Volunteering for many people draws up images of carehomes, unpleasant chores and boredom, but more and more students are realising the benefits and satisfaction to be had in offering up their free time.

University will hopefully be one of the only times in life when you find yourself with an embarrassing expanse of spare time to watch whole television series in one go or sleep for half a day and be annoyed when a housemate pesters you to go into town.

Many students fall into the trap of wasting their time at university when faced with just six or seven contact hours a week. Volunteering has become increasingly popular

among students because it gives back the sense of purpose and routine lost in what is often coined as the University ‘bubble’. There

“... volunteering is such an easy thing to do”

are many differing opportunities and outlets to volunteer for at UEA, ranging from the student run listening service ‘Nightline’ to conserving the biodiversity of campus.

Volunteering doesn’t just look great on your CV but really does help

you learn new skills and meet some fascinating like-minded people.

The University provides a volunteering section on the official UEA website that offers a string of UEA-based volunteer projects as well as a link to Voluntary Norfolk that lets you know what volunteering opportunities are available in Norwich. Electra Gerolymbou, a third year Literature student recently ran a Shoebox appeal for refugee and orphaned children in Romania. Electra’s voluntary work meant that she managed to send 47 boxes out to Romania, making a substantial difference to those children who may not have expected anything

Lifestyle writer

They may be more of a fritter than a pancake, in any case, they are amazing. This is one of the only ways to eat something fried, cheesy and greasy, and yet still healthy!

You will need: • 1 bag of baby spinach • 2 spring onions - chopped • 50g Feta - crumbled • 50g Goats cheese (Soft, hard, however you like it) - crumbled • 1 Egg • 1 Garlic clove - chopped • 120g Flour • Some kind of oil. We like sunflower.

Method: 1. Steam the spinach in a colander or sieve over some boiling water in a saucepan. It’s a lot faster if you put

over the holiday season to bring them cheer.

Concrete asked Electra what she would say to someone considering voluntary work: “I would say that volunteering is just such an easy

a lid or plate on top of the colander.

The spinach will be cooked quickly, five minutes at the most. When it’s all soft and juicy, take it out and chop it up.

2. Mix the spinach, onions, feta, egg and goats cheese in a bowl – add salt and pepper to taste.

3. Mix in the flour. Make sure the mixture has a consistency that will hold its shape when fried. If It doesn’t, add more flour.

4. Heat the oil in the pan.

5. Spoon the mixture into the pan, in pancake-shaped clumps. You may have to flatten them a bit. Fry until golden brown. thing to do. Anyone can do it, and even the smallest action of kindness can mean so much to those who have less than us. It’s just a beautiful experience and everyone should volunteer at least once in their life.”

18 LIFESTYLE

www.concrete-

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So if you are interested in saving money on your printer ink cartridges and reducing your carbon footprint, then why not visit us at

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Tuesday 18th January

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To move or not to move

Concrete looks at the advantages and disadvantages of living in halls and private residencies Rachael Lum International Writer

Certain universities only guarantee accommodation for students in their first and final year. At UEA, students paying overseas fees can continue living in the residences throughout the duration of their course provided they apply before the deadline. The decision of whether to reapply or search for private accommodation depends on the students themselves.

Concrete International weighs the ups and downs of both these potential choices.

Living in the residences means that students will experience the same level of comfort and convenience as the previous year.

Living in the residences means that students will experience the same level of

comfort and convenience as the previous year. The walking distance from campus accommodation to class venues is not demanding. There would be less worry about having to rush to the lecture halls, and it would take shorter time to reach the LCR on student nights. That aside, the rent already includes utility bills and cleaning services, something that must be taken into consideration in private housing.

The cost of this is that you don’t get to pick which accommodation you want, nor are you able to choose your housemates, although this would not be a problem if you are prepared to make new friends.

Other than that, the student residences are nowhere near to the city centre, which is unfortunate if you enjoy the many happenings in Norwich.

House rents in Norwich are relatively cheaper than most parts of the UK, starting from as low as £50, non-inclusive of utility bills. If you are not one to leave the room lights on all day, the total cost for private accommodation should add up to less than that for university residences. Students might want to exercise more independence by looking for their own home with people they get along better with. On top of that,

you and your housemates get to set your own house rules.

The downside to this is that private lodgings are normally further off campus, which may require reliance on public transportation if it is too much of a trek.

account. Should you choose otherwise, the housing list is released on Tuesday, 18th January 2011, or you can visit the website: http://www.homerunstudentpad.co.uk/ for a start. Concrete International wishes students all the best this house-hunting season.

The downside to this is that private lodgings are normally further off campus, which may require reliance on public transportation if it is too much of a trek.

Students are also expected to be responsible for everything that comes with the package, such as the bills and cleaning.

The only certain thing for both options is that students must act fast. An email would be sent to remind international students about the deadline to apply and confirm the accommodation in February. It would be best to keep an eye on your UEA

Friends or Strangers?

Concrete examines whether living with friends or complete strangers is the better choice Isabelle Carty

International Writer

Halls of residence can provide students with a ready-made social life, an easy way to make friends and a sense of security.

Leaving all of that behind and finding accommodation off campus can be a stressful and worrying experience. There are an abundance of decisions to be made ranging from who to live with to the kind of housing you want. However, there are resources available that can help to make this transition a seamless one.

“Before signing anything make sure to read through contracts, ensure that the property is safe and be assured that your deposits will be kept in a secure location”.

On entering private rented accommodation for the first time there are certain issues that you will have to take into consideration. Unless you can afford a single studio apartment you are likely to have to share your living space with others.

You will undoubtedly have developed a network of friends by now and may even have an idea of who you would like to live with. However, if there are not enough of you to take up all the rooms in the house that you have chosen you can always advertise the availability of extra rooms either by simply telling people you know or by using the University’s notice boards (both real and electronic).

Another factor to consider when choosing house-mates is whether or not you would like to be in a smoking or nonsmoking household. It would be best not to have a mixture of the two as this can lead to conflict. One helpful tip for when you do start living together would be to eat meals together as much as possible. This will help you to bond as a group and will provide a forum to air any grievances before they fester.

If you are uncertain about where to begin, try the University’s Accommodation Office. They will be happy to recommend a host of local landlords and agents who can assist you in your search. There are also student accommodation websites that you can peruse to get a sense of the pricing and types of accommodation available. You may even be lucky enough to find your future house via one of these websites.

Before signing anything make sure to read through contracts, ensure that the property is safe and be assured that your deposits will be kept in a secure location.

Finding the right house with the right peo-

ple can be an extremely exciting experience so do not be afraid to visit as many houses as possible until you find exactly the right one for you.

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concrete.turf@uea.ac.uk

Cancun: a step forward?

Ruthana Christofides Turf Reporter

While Christmas approached and shoppers attempted to bag a deal for under the tree, Cancun held host to word leaders who were working at setting up a new treaty, one to ensure that in fifty years time, trees to shelter presents still existed.

With claims that this has been the coldest winter ever recorded, and an unspoken hypothesis that climate change is to blame for this, all eyes were on the Cancun Climate Summit. After the failure of the summit in Copenhagen at the end of 2009, the talks were described as the last chance for an effective plan, putting great pressure on the 193 attending nations. Despite criticism about the organisation of the summit, it was deemed to have been the most successful since climate conference the Kyoto Protocol in 1997.

The plans include steeper cuts in carbon emissions, although there

was no mention as to how this would be achieved. With China and America seeming more compliant, the only objections to the Mexican plans surprisingly came from their neighbour Bolivia. Although the deals anticipated were not reached to the extent wanted by many governments, a stepping stone was still achieved.

The most significant of the deals achieved is the pledge from the West to give funds to developing nations, so that by 2020 £64 billion every year will be available to aid the developing world suffering with the impacts of climate change and low carbon emissions. This issue, which has been coined ‘Climate justice’, reached a stalemate at the last climate summit.

Also passed was an agreement to increase emission pledges as well as a strategy to stop countries destroying their forests - one suggestion being to pay countries to maintain their forests. Deforestation is the cause of 15% of global carbon emissions.

However, despite these seemingly

Are we on the brink of runaway climate change?

successful outcomes, it has not been decided where the funds for the developing world will come from nor has there been any progress surrounding the legalities behind a new global agreement.

“The world is in a state of emergency, the time for procrastination about climate change has long since passed,” said a second-

Reclaim your life

Anna Tomson Turf Editor

In this age of austerity there are fewer jobs, less affordable housing, and with the rise of VAT amongst other things, living has become more expensive. Do you want to find out about cheaper alternatives?

Would you prefer to live without a landlord or a boss controlling your life? Come and check out these workshops for some amazing alternatives!

MONDAY January 24th Reimagining Political Dissent.

Union House Rm. 1.33 4pm.

A creative campaigning session for all those who feel disillusioned by the violent tactics used at the cuts demonstrations. Come along to help think of constructive and crafty ways to get your message out there.

TUESDAY January 25th Food co-ops and freeganing Union house 1.33 6pm A workshop focusing on alternate food sources, from dumpster diving to setting up a food co-op. This is for anyone who is interested in being involved in establishing a food co-operative at UEA or is simply tired of trekking to Tesco every weekend.

WEDNESDAY January 26th Housing Co-ops Union house 1.28 7pm Want to avoid pricey and uncompromising landlords?

Members from the Norwich housing co-op Nautia will be explaining what a housing co-op is and how to set one up. Nautia are interested in expanding their group, so come along if you’re interested.

THURSDAY January 27th Workers Co-ops Union house 1.33 7pm More alternate living; representatives from GreenGrow (a vegetable-growing co-op) and Catalyst (a finance co-op) will be talking about running a business in a way that is empowering and community-centred.

FRIDAY January 28th Bike skills share Dr. Bike hut 12pm Dr. Bike is running a free workshop on bike maintenance. All two wheelers welcome!

The week ends in a Critical Mass through the streets of Norwich.

Bikes aren’t disrupting traffic they ARE the traffic! Meet outside the Forum at 5pm. For more information, check out ‘Reclaim Your Life Week’ on Facebook.

year BIO student, “anything that can be done should be. We have abused the planet for too long and should start helping it out so we don’t ruin future generations of life.”

Although the media attention towards the issue of climate change has dimmed the work of campaigners, activists and students indicate that change is clearly wanted, and with

the next summit scheduled for next year in Durban, one can only wait and see what happens.

Although Cancun has been a small stepping stone in tackling climate change, many argue that a more radical and binding agreement is desperately needed if we are to prevent the potentially catastrophic impacts of global warming.

Green Wing

Will Lacey Environment Officer

This year, the Green Wing is continuing to bring together a set of passionate and brainy students coming up with brilliant ideas for coping with the environmental issue that we all face.

The Green Wing went through a period of flux at the Autumn term’s start which saw new faces that promptly brought new ideas and new energy to the team. One of the biggest projects the Green Wing worked on last term was the creation of a ‘Green Handbook’ targeted primarily at the unique student experience, making it ideally suited to the unique challenges we face in trying to take our environmental impact into our hands. The contributors are too many to name but a big thanks goes out to them for setting aside time in their busy schedules!

The Environmental Society has also begun producing reusable notebooks from the library’s used paper, complete with comedy covers made from beer crate cardboard! Tackling the reliance on bottled water has also been on the agenda and Green Wing is working on making

water fountains on campus easier to get to, as well as investigating the possibility of introducing reusable water flasks to be on sale in Union shops for a studentfriendly price.

As well as working away on these more crafty ideas, the Green Wing is hoping to hold some coffee mornings in the next semester to promote discussion and ownership over environmental subjects that can be a little confusing if you haven’t much time for research.

I’d like to end by expressing how much I’d love to name members in this article and give them all the credit they deserve but I’m terrified I’d miss someone out, so I’d like to say a personal thanks for everyone’s involvement so far and for all that they’d brought to the table.

If you’re interested in taking part, head along to the weekly meetings that take place in the Board Room in Union House, above the Hive. Having trouble finding us? Ask one of the brilliantly helpful Valerie or Alison at reception and they’ll point you the right way.

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Tuesday 18th January

Impressive comeback for Athletics No place like home UEA’s finest dominate competition in first cross-country meet of 2011 Simon O’Meara

Sports Correspondent

UEA Athletics returned to competition this week, with the cross-country team travelling to RAF Marham on January 12th for an East Anglia Cross-County League race. In comparison with past meets, the squad was slightly diminished, so the pressure was on our seven men and two ladies.

Any suggestion of Christmas turkey-induced sluggishness were immediately dismissed as two UEA women and �ive men formed their respective leading group of runners.

A smooth course underfoot favoured Lydia Growns, who took the bronze for her third time in the present campaign. On her energetic return from injury Sarah Burdett completed the ladies’ team, �inishing seventh.

In the men’s race Josh Entwistle gained a decisive victory, while Nick Earl came second, having passed Richard Henderson, who ran bravely following a period of �lu to

�inish third.

Team captain Alec Beaney held on to fourth with Simon O’Meara pursuing in �ifth. Man Ming Cheung ended up a modest 11th with distance running convert Andy Dixon bringing the team home in 35th.

“Any suggestion of Christmas turkey-

induced sluggishness was immediately

dismissed by UEA”

The outlook is bright for this year’s runners prior to the BUCS Cross-Country Championships, which will take place in Birmingham on February 5th. In preparation, UEA’s women are beginning a ladies-only session on Sundays.

A Sunday long run constitutes a large proportion of many distance runners’ mileage, and though not

necessarily intended to be run quickly, it provides a wonderful opportunity to explore the rural areas surrounding the campus.

Next up for the runners is a trip to Wattisham Air�ield in the East Anglian Cross-Country League on January 26th, where they will hope for a similarly strong performance.

Meanwhile, UEA’s sprinters are in the midst of winter training, with the aim of peaking for the BUCS Indoor Championships on February 19th and 20th. Several athletes will participate in their �irst Championships, with ones to watch including 400m runner Amardeep Sangha, and 100m/200m speed merchant Emma-Lou Wagstaff.

The Shef�ield showdown has seen UEA records broken for the past two years and the trend is set to continue. Coach Robin Saunders has dedicated hours to training enthused athletes on the track and in the gym. Preparation will be solidi�ied by racing at the London Indoor Games three weeks prior to the BUCS Indoors.

Chris King

Sports Editor

UEA has informed cricket clubs in and around Norwich that they will no longer be able to use the pitches located at Colney Lane playing �ields.

As reported by the Norwich Evening News last Wednesday, UEA sent a letter to �ive community clubs stating that they could no longer accept bookings for the pitches due to funding cuts and stretched resources.

The clubs, which include Rackheath, Colney, Civil Service and both Great Melton’s B and C teams, will now have to look for alternative grounds before the cricket season begins in three months.

Keith Nicholls, Director of Physical Education and Sport at the Sportspark, sent the letter on January 3rd, informing the clubs that the pitches will only be used by university students in future.

The letter said: “The University has been subject to cuts in funding both this year and for future years.

As a result, the focus is on identifying and maintaining core services for

university members.

“Staff resources are stretched and with the current budgetary pressures, it is not possible to maintain the current level of service for Colney Lane.

“The income for community use is far short of that required to cover the maintenance and staf�ing costs. In the past, we have been able to provide this support for community use, but after review, we have concluded with some sadness that the pressures on the budget cannot be ignored,” Nicholls’ letter concluded.

The aforementioned clubs have already expressed their disappointment and were supported

by Norfolk Cricket League Secretary, Tim Porter, who said: “I really do not know what we can do.

“The teams are already struggling for numbers and I am worried that this could be the �inal nail in the cof�in for them,” he added.

Despite the decision, Kieron Tuck, of the Norfolk Cricket Board, said that he was hopeful that discussions with UEA could continue and a resolution could be found.

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concrete.sport@uea.ac.uk

U:EA

a run of just one league win in nine games. This came at home to Leicester City in farcical frozen conditions, but it was only a brief respite.

The days following Keane’s departure brought the undoubted low

FA Cup, the visit of another Premier League giant in Arsenal to Portman Road for the �irst leg of the Carling Cup semi-�inal looked more than a little daunting. However, with Jewell watching on from the stands, caretaker manager Ian McParland rallied the troops to a memorable 1-0 victory, Tamas Priskin capping off a superb display with the game’s only goal to hand Ipswich the advantage.

Jewell’s �irst game in charge was a tricky trip to Millwall, with Town going down 2-1, having taken an early lead. Despite the negatives, Ipswich are set to travel to the Emir-

point of the season followed by the biggest high for beleaguered Town fans. Thrashed 7-0 by a stuttering Chelsea at Stamford Bridge in the

ates for the second leg of their Carling Cup tie against Arsenal at the end of the month, dreaming of their �irst visit to the new Wembley.

Update: East Anglia Oli Platt

Sports Correspondent

Norwich City enjoyed a thoroughly productive Christmas; Wes Hoolahan’s (right) hattrick against Shef�ield United at home punctuated three wins out of four in December. Despite speculation surrounding manager Paul Lambert, the subject of interest from fellow Championship side Burnley, the Canaries began 2011 in style, Russell Martin grabbing the only goal in a 1-0 victory over league leaders QPR at Carrow Road.

Despite their excel-

lent form, any FA Cup run the club might have been hoping for was ended abruptly, as City fell to a disappointing 1-0 home defeat against League One out�it Leyton Orient. It may perhaps be surmised that one or two of the Canaries players were distracted by the prospect of a crucial showdown against Cardiff City.

Prior to kickoff, the two sides found themselves just four points off leaders QPR, with 43 points apiece, but in the end the spoils were shared, a 90th minute equaliser from Russell Martin cancelling out

Jon Parkin’s early opener.

Lambert has been keen to strengthen his squad with the opening of the January transfer window, in order to bolster City’s bid for promotion to the Premier League. Colchester United left-back Marc Tierney has followed MK Dons striker Aaron Wilbraham in signing for the Canaries, both for undisclosed fees.

As for Ipswich Town, the Christmas period has been even more hectic than usual in Suffolk, the Tractor Boys parting ways with manager Roy Keane following a series of poor results. Keane leaves Ipswich 19th in the table, with former Wigan Athletic boss Paul Jewell (right) having taken the helm, and with it the challenge to drastically improve Town’s league position.

The managerial switch was of little surprise, given that, following a good start to the season, the Blues have essentially been in free fall, and are now in danger of relegation after

Winter sportingland

Sports Editor Rob Schatten explores the non-stop nature of sport over the holidays The Christmas period is known for being a time of rest and recovery, in which to spend a few peaceful days with your nearest and dearest.

Unfortunately, there are those in the sporting world who never received that message. As a result, many of our sporting icons enjoy - or endure - a rather less relaxed holiday season.

The tradition of sport over Christmas Day goes back through generations, with one of the most famous examples being the Christmas Day 1915 ‘Armistice game’ played between English and German soldiers in no man’s land between their battle�ield trenches in the French countryside.

Across the Atlantic, the National Basketball Association (NBA) featured �ive back-to-back �ixtures on Christmas Day itself, with the league’s biggest names going headto-head over an 11-hour period.

The scheduling has, in the past, caused immense controversy, with Orlando Magic coach Stan Van Gundy being heavily �ined for criticising it last season. This year, clearly wish-

ing to avoid a repeat, Van Gundy somewhat sarcastically lavished praise on the concept, going as far as to suggest “start[ing] games at midnight and play[ing] them all through

Mild-mannered: Stan Van Gundy

the day so there’s not a minute of Christmas Day where there’s not an NBA game on TV.” There was also one NFL game on Christmas Day, with the Dallas Cowboys losing out to the Arizona Cardinals.

Starting Boxing Day, the holidays bore witness to the usual whirlwind

of English football league �ixtures, with a number of teams playing as many as four games in a ten-day period. This is often a de�ining time in English League football, when a team hitting a streak of good form can rack up the points in a hurry while those caught in the briefest of slumps can be left grasping for a handhold.

Although the English system is alone in European football in honouring the tradition of continuing through the holidays (though that practise is threatened by the possibility of a January World Cup for Qatar 2022), it is far from alone in sport. England’s rugby calendar, too, continued on Boxing Day. The Ashes carried on unabated as well, with the third test at Perth beginning on Boxing Day. The home side, full of Christmas cheer, continued their woeful form in the �irst innings but turned the match around over the following few days to briefly level the series. The South AfricaIndia series also continued right through the holidays.

Bah humbug, indeed.

Now is the winter of our discontent...

C

hristmas may be known as a relaxing time, but football league managers live constantly on edge during this period, when reputations can be tarnished in a fortnight.

Surprisingly, it is not the Premier League orchestrating this managerial witch-hunt, which has claimed 11 bosses in the past three weeks.

In fact, the Championship and its triggerhappy hiring and �iring is leading the way, with 11 managers having departed so far this season.

Before the cull transfers to insecure Premier League managers, including Avram Grant, Carlo Ancelotti and Gerard Houllier, it’s time to take a look at those who slipped up on the festive ice:

Dec 29th Darren Ferguson (Preston North End) Brian Laws (Burnley) Jan 1st George Burley (Crystal Palace) Mark Stimson (Barnet) Jan 4th Chris Hutchings (Walsall) Paul Simpson (Stockport County) Phil Parkison (Charlton Athletic) Jan 7th Roy Keane (Ipswich Town) Jan 8th Roy Hodgson (Liverpool) Jan 10th Kevin Dillon (Aldershot) Jan 11th Gary Johnson (Peterborough

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Tuesday 18th January

England come out on top down under England achieve glorious 3-1 series victory - Australia’s first home loss for a generation - in cricket’s blue-ribbon event George Neal

Sports Correspondent

As the anticipation of Christmas holidays and festivities gave way to the bleary-eyed come-down of the New Year, there was one great sporting constant: the Ashes.

Besides a blip in Perth, English cricketing reigned supremely dominant.

From Andrew Strauss down to Ian Bell, the whole of England’s top order played brilliantly. Both team and individual batting records were broken time and again as England racked up totals of over 500 on several occasions. Alastair Cook was particularly astonishing, ending the series as England’s second-highest run scorer in a test series, having amassed 766 runs at a blistering average of 127. Another Cook world record stands to encapsulate

Australia

all that was good about England’s attitude throughout the series: he spent an unbelievable 36 hours at the crease.

This greed for runs was met gladly by England’s well-rested bowlers, who when called upon, performed exceptionally. Their execution of plans was ruthless; their adaptation to different pitches far better than that of their opponents. Backed up by a world-leading standard of �ielding, the bowling often embarrassed the Australian batsmen, most notably being bowled out for 98 at Melbourne in a memorable Australian low.

James Anderson answered his critics with a series-leading 24 wickets. Second in the wickets count with 17 was Chris Tremlett, who stepped in for the injured Stuart Broad and instantly looked a

What went wrong?

F

or those who decided to attend the sparsely-occupied grounds during this winter’s Ashes, or equally, those who chose to stay away, words that come to mind when re�lecting on the series are humiliation, embarrassment and shame, to name but a few.

Australia’s game plan appeared to crumble almost immediately.

Following a disappointing opening draw, the second test in Adelaide was characterised by poor batting and �ielding choices, which allowed England to take a 1-0 series lead.

However, the hosts clawed back in the third match, requiring just 48 minutes to dismiss England’s remaining �ive bowlers in order to move level.

Despite this, the fourth ‘Boxing Day Test’ in Melbourne will be remembered as the nadir of the series, with Australia bowled out for a mere 98 runs. Stand-in captain Michael Clarke was hoping for a reversal of fortune in the �ifth and �inal test, yet it wasn’t to be; England once again dominated, as Australia lost by an innings for the third time in the series.

Michael Clarke admitted in a post-match interview that his side was simply “outplayed in all facets of the game”, an admission re�lective of the negative attitude towards the hosts’ performance depicted in the media, which led calls for an ‘inquest’ into the defeat. All aspects of Australia’s game were severely criticised, from batting, to �ielding, to the captaincy.

Indicative of the vitriolic attitude in the media was the Sydney Morning Herald, which published daily critiques throughout the series; headlines such as ‘England dances on Australia’s Ashes grave’, ‘Ashes loss a wake up call for Australia’ and ‘Australia cooked then tormented

by Bell’ were commonplace.

With the likes of Glenn McGrath and Adam Gilchrist no longer available, Australia must now focus on developing and strengthening a test side capable of reclaiming the Ashes trophy.

Kirsten Wade Reporting from Sydney, Australia

world beater. Where Australia had one man bowling well, England had three. They bowled in partnerships, building pressure thanks to good plans from the bowling coach and well thought-out �ields by Strauss.

It was an exhibition in preparation and execution.

Australia showed sparks of excellence throughout the series, but never strung enough moments together to perform consistently well. Mike Hussey and Shane Watson impressed with the bat, the former averaging 63 per innings, and at times Mitchell Johnson and Peter Siddle proved devastating for England’s batsmen. Yet these moments of individual brilliance paled in contrast against England’s team performance and consistent effectiveness, and ultimately that difference proved the key in a scintillating series.

Clockwise from top left: Australia captain Ricky Ponting cut a disconsolate figure as England ran riot; Paul Collingwood was the master of the fielders, highlighted by this spectacular catch from Ponting; Alastair Cook was the series’ top scorer, making 766 runs including an unbeaten 235 in the first test; Ian Bell was one of England’s batting heroes, reaching a career total of 4,000 runs along the way.

England

What went right?

F

ollowing their emphatic 3-1 series victory, during which the visitors dominated the vast majority of the �ive test matches, it was clear that England had learned a few vital lessons from their previous tour Down Under, which ended in a 5-0 whitewash in favour of the Australians. The successes of the recent series can be attributed largely to the effective and ef�icient partnership between captain Andrew Strauss and coach Andy Flower.

England’s intelligent planning was clear to see in the pretournament matches; the visitors’ �irst-choice batsmen were given as much time in the middle as possible, while the bowlers were allocated ample time, both to bowl and acclimatise prior to the opening test in Brisbane. The warm-up games, all highly competitive and played against strong teams in a variety of conditions, furthermore illustrate the excellent nature of England’s preparation.

During the tests themselves, selection decisions were made quickly and intelligently. Many doubted the effectiveness of

England’s remaining fast bowlers when Stuart Broad was forced to withdraw due to a torn abdominal muscle. However, his replacement, Chris Tremlett, was an inspired choice, as was the decision to replace leading wicket-taker Steven Finn following the �irst two tests with Yorkshire’s Tim Bresnan.

Stand-outs for England included Alastair Cook and leading overall wicket-taker James Anderson. As for the batsmen, each of the top seven managed to score at least one century, while England’s bowlers all managed to chip in with wickets, often at crucial moments.

While he did not contribute a great deal with the bat, Paul Collingwood was an inspiration in the �ield, taking a number of breathtaking catches and setting a high standard throughout the series.

With the Ashes retained, and their �irst series win in Australia since 1986/87, England will look to keep their good run of form going and learn from this series, especially with India and Sri Lanka to come in the summer.

Chris Teale

sport

Update: East Anglia Sports correspondent Oli Platt looks at Ipswich Town’s appointment of Paul Jewell, and a memorable Carling Cup victory over Arsenal

The Ashes Concrete Sport takes an in-depth look at England’s first Ashes triumph in Australia since 1987, and analyses what went wrong for Australia

Carrow Road final in sight for UEA Mark Roach

Sports Correspondent

UEA Football Men’s I Dereham Town

1 0

UEA Men’s Football are through to the semi-final of the Norfolk Junior Cup for the second consecutive year after a hard-fought 1-0 victory over Dereham Town at Colney Lane.

UEA came into the game lacking match practice after the winter break, but started the game positively with Chris Evans going close and a squared ball across the box from Simon Beeson evading the run of Matthew Wedlake.

Evans continued to drive at the Dereham back line, and after 26 minutes was tripped inside the area.

However, to the amazement and disbelief of all players on both sides the referee deemed the challenge to be an acceptable one and awarded Dereham a goal kick.

The Yellows continued to press, however, and eventually got the breakthrough when a chipped ball from Evans resulted in the on-

Greg Mann

Romance of the cup: UEA’s finest put in a battling display to advance to the semi-finals of the Norfolk Junior Cup

lead.

Dereham were quickest out of the blocks in the second-half, and as UEA struggled to keep hold of the ball, the defence came under increasing

pressure as the visitors got into their stride and forced a succession of tackles and clearances from UEA. Evans, Wedlake and Heap all had chances on the counter-attack but it was Dereham who looked the most likely to score, as they spent the majority of the second-half camped in UEA’s final third.

The Yellows’ back four of Dennis, Blackwell, Roach and Kelly held firm time and again as Dereham continually tried to break through the back line; when they eventually managed to on 73 minutes, it took a last-ditch tackle from Luke Blackwell and a smothering save from Adam Burnett to keep the score at 1-0.

When the final whistle was eventually blown a very tired and relieved UEA were delighted to have progressed through to the semi-finals after a strong first-half performance and a second period in which the home side showed resilience, character and commitment.

This was a huge result against a strong Dereham side and the semifinals now beckon for UEA – who have just one team between them and a Carrow Road final.

rushing Dereham goalkeeper misskicking under pressure from Nick Heap, who was left to pass the ball into the empty net to put UEA ahead.

Several other chances were

created in the opening half, but nothing really troubled the goalkeepers at either end, and the sides went into the break with the hosts maintaining their slender 1-0

Thanks to the scholarship, James will be able to use his immense rugby talent to enhance his education and create a better future for himself both academically and in sport. Concrete Sport caught up with James, who told us he was “very proud to have been selected for this scheme.

“The team are great and the club as a whole is very welcoming, and I would strongly encourage any future UEA rugby players to jump at the chance to play with the North Walsham Vikings “.

Both prospective and current students can apply for the scholarship, with the size of the bursary dependent on how many years of study you have ahead. Anyone interested in applying for this scholarship should contact with Nick Grimmer at North Walsham Vikings RFC for further information at nick_grimmer@hotmail. com.

Young talent: James Elliot with members of the North Walsham board, and UEA student sport director Rachel Tomes

UEA rugby player wins local scholarship Ian Hobbs

Sports Correspondent

UEA student James Elliot has become the first recipient of a rugby scholarship in a newly established scheme linking the University with local side North Walsham Vikings RFC. James, a final year masters pharmacy student, will receive a £1,000 bursary towards his course fees. The new scholarship will be open to any UEA student who excels in the gentlemanly discipline of rugby and is able to play for North Walsham Vikings at weekends in local league fixtures.

The Vikings have offered to pay travel expenses so James is able to make both training and matches.

North Walsham’s Nick Grimmer said: “With university fees continuing to rise we believe the bursary will be attractive to many talented players who can enhance our playing strength.”

Greg Mann

venue

venue Editor-in-Chief>Danny Collins| concrete.editor@uea.ac.uk Venue Editor>Duncan Vicat-Brown| concrete.event@uea.ac.uk Deputy Venue Editor>Fiona Howard

concrete.fashion@uea.ac.uk| Fashion Editor>Kat Jones Deputy Fashion Editor>Hannah Britt

Everybody is welcome!

Yeah, Christmas is

Awesome!

As that most iconic of festive figureheads, Mr. Hankey, once said, ‘It’s beginning to smell a lot like Christmas!’

There’s snow on the ground, Shakin’ Stevens on the radio and the general sinking feeling that you haven’t saved enough of your loan to buy presents for your loved ones. Never mind, there’s plenty in this issue of Venue to help with your Christmas shopping woes; in Fashion there’s a Christmas gift guide and a look forward to 2011’s upcoming fashion trends, Television have had a look at some of the best TV boxsets available and Competitions have got gig tickets to give away, so you can even go out after you’ve rinsed your poor bank account to within an inch of it’s life...

Have a great Christmas, see you in 2011!

Fashion Contributors>Melissa Rushworth, Kat Jones, Eleanor Wilson

n a c un

concrete.arts@uea.ac.uk| Arts Editor>Liz Jackson Arts Contributors>Rachael Lum, Harriet Jones, Hazel Compton, Emma Webbe

concrete.creativewriting@uea.ac.uk| Creative Writing Editor>Robert Van Egghen Creative Writing Contributors>Genevieve Westrope

concrete.tvdigital@uea.ac.uk| Television Editor>Tasha Golley Television Contributors>Natalie Stephenson, Matt Tidby, Helen Eaton, Amy Adams, Eleanor Brown, Beth Wyatt

concrete.wired@uea.ac.uk| Wired Editor>Vaughn Highfield Wired Contributors>DJ Turner, Mehul Samani, Vaughn Highfield

concrete.music@uea.ac.uk| Music Editors>Alec Plowman & Alex Throssell Music Contributors>Liz Jackson, Rose Clark, Chris Corby, Alec Plowman

concrete.film@uea.ac.uk| Film Editor>Paul Martin Deputy Film Editor>Catherine Watts Film Contributors>Claire Price, Samantha Rogers, Paul Martin, George Gilbert, Steph McKenna,Kate Allen Lathaniel Dyer, Alex Dobrik, Catherine Watts, Alek Stoodley

concrete.listings@uea.ac.uk| Listings Editor>Georgina Wade Listings Contributors>Georgina Wade

concrete.competitions@uea.ac.uk| Competitions Editor>Henry Croft Competitions Contributors>Henry Croft

D

3 COMPS

The Waltz

Next Issue Theme for next issue: ‘Lie Still’ Email your submissions to: concrete.creativewriting@uea.ac.uk DEADLINE 26TH JANUARY

“...what these hands had done, these two fragile instruments” A blink and she was years later, still dancing, and still just as happy. She was better now, long past her first waltz.

She could keep up with her father of course, but he had an elegance that she lacked and so greedily envied. She coveted this time with him. Other girls would not admit to this, dancing with their fathers, not at her age. She knew she would be leaving her father soon and these dances, these brief moments of living luxury. She would marry Jack, the charming and boyishly fine-looking classmate down the road. He was kind and gentle, from what she could tell, and he had wanted her badly, coveted her as much as she coveted the moments with her father.

A second later, she was dancing with her husband, Jack.

He was handsome, and she, still young. She now needed no one’s guidance, but instead, could move swiftly in time with her groom. Her cheeks were warm with a summer’s night and alcohol, but her feet never faltered. She hiccupped from her second glass of champagne and blushed in the face of her new companion. He chuckled. He still had the sound of a boy’s laugh; it hadn’t seen enough, it hadn’t been around long enough to be hearty – like her father’s. She smiled at her husband, and he smiled back. He was the best dancer she had ever seen.

One more moment passed, and once again, she was with her husband. They still danced, and as she looked at

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his face, she saw the same gentle love back, but only now with crow’s feet and laugh lines. She took this to be a true testament to their life together, but she wasn’t done loving him yet. She certainly wasn’t done the dance, she thought she had so much of that left in her. Her husband stopped his feet but held her close. “I love you Birdie,” he whispered into her ear. She knew this was pure bliss.

“Birdie...”, a voice broke into her thoughts, and stopped her mid-dance.

She opened both eyes, slowly, and extended her neck toward the sound. Birdie? she thought. It wasn’t her name, not really. Her mind strained to find a response. It had been too long, too many decades since she’d heard it.

“No one’s called me Birdie in years.”

“I’m sorry missus,” a fresh-faced, eager man said, cautiously, through perfect teeth. Just yesterday he had talked with Birdie for twenty minutes. She confessed to him that she was a dancer. She told him of her stories, a few of her family, she as a young girl. She didn’t tell him though of her children or grandchildren. They went unspoken. They had been forgotten. The eager man with perfect teeth had danced with her briefly, too. She told him her husband nicknamed her Birdie, and often called him Jack. He didn’t mind, he knew Mrs Barbara well. He was disappointed, but not surprised, that she had already forgotten this confession.

“I just came to give you your dinner, missus.”

“I was dancing.” She smiled.

She turned to face the window again. She was slow, especially as her bones and muscles moaned and screeched from her dance. She wanted to apologize to the Jay for the interruption and continue her dance with him. When her head craned slowly around to see outside, the Jay was nowhere to be seen. Snow had taken his place, erasing the evidence of his dance.

Her smile disappeared. Again. She gripped onto the arms of her chair, lowering herself slowly into its folds; nestling into its cushions. She positioned herself carefully, folding back into where the seat had made room for her body. She sat there for a moment longer, staring straight out towards where her dancing partner had been. Then, her eyes took on their usual lifelessness and the blueness in them went cold like her winter landscape. They fell towards her hands.

She had never seen them before.

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into the winter canvas. She knew his dance too. Abandoning her perch, she lifted herself out of the chair, and steadied herself as her legs swayed beneath her body. She took one step forwards, one step back and stopped. She waited for the Jay. He obliged, mirroring her movement. She closed her eyes and began to dance.

When she opened her eyes again she was dancing with her father. He was handsome, and she, a young girl. On tiptoes, her feet were gently set on his and he laughed his hearty laugh. She was learning her first waltz.

She hugged onto her father’s waist, closed her eyes and smelled the familiar cloudy Old Spice cologne. The chairs had been pushed away, the carpet rolled up and standing upright in the corner of the room. Every Sunday, her father transformed their living room into a ballroom. The lights would dim, candles would be lit, and the walls would instantly change themselves. The ceilings would turn gold and the floor became hard and marbled. Her father pulled her around the room, slowly and gently moving his feet with hers. She would wiggle her hips like she saw her mother do, and would smile at her skill. She could hear her mother humming the rhythm that she and her father were dancing to. In between, the notes would be bursts of childish giggles, and at one point, the notes stopped all together.

“Barbara,” her mother whined, with a playful smile across her lips, “don’t hog your father all night! Give me a go…”

And off they would go. Barbara would run in between their steps, always a bit behind. They were paralleled and perfect, movements clear, solid and rhythmic, and they would skate around the living room, carefully avoiding any obstacles. She would always note that her mother would no longer hum, and they could fall in time to the music that clung in the air from years of their dance.

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H

er two small hands lay flat in her lap. She looked down at them, lifted them up one, then the other, and examined them for the first time. These were her hands, she realized that much, but she hadn’t seen them before. “They’re awfully beautiful” she cooed aloud, startled by her own voice – again, something that she hadn’t heard. But beautiful they were. They were small, clasped within each other, worn and leathered by years of life. She stared at them still, amazed at what they looked like. She wondered what these hands had done, these two fragile instruments. She guessed that they had touched, needed, begged and loved, but that they had also hated and been jealous. Perhaps they had even cursed and hit.

She sat in the creases of a chair that looked as aged as her hands. The hard wood curved, up and around like an antique bird cage. It framed the colourful yellow cushion, in an old elegance, the lines and folds of the cushion her stooped body. It adjusted for her easily as she swam in its feathered waves to face the window overlooking a small garden forest, as she did every afternoon. But every day she sat in front of it, the roses and birch trees were always new. Today, they were burdened by winter’s late frost. The flowers were wilted and the trees lifeless; their bark peeling, leaving them vulnerable to the cold.

Her mind was becoming the same; peeling and vulnerable. Winter melded too easily in to spring, and she would notice only in autumn again that a season had passed.

Time was no longer the glorious possession it had been when she was younger. Time was now only something she witnessed on her own body, and something she despised, not for the effects, but for how slowly and cruelly it went on.

She peered a little harder at her landscape, the sun struck violently off the wet snow. She squinted. It hurt her eyes to look out at winter, and she hated how the cold made her bones burn. She preferred the summer, when she could see the birds and the roses and the tulips. She didn’t like how angry winter was, how long it took and how it took away life so easily. She missed the animation of the warm seasons; the school children laughing, the robins chirping, the lovers quarrelling under protective trees.

Amongst the harsh white, she saw a flash of blue.

She turned her body as quickly as she could, slowly still, towards the colour, and stared directly into the depths of a Blue Jay’s wings. She had no doubt that he was there. A blue jay in winter was possible…it was necessary. He ruffled his feathers, majestically, proudly; stepped forwards, backwards, stopped, and repeated. He was careful with his steps, mathematical and precise, his snowy footprints choreographed perfectly. He turned around and looked at her, embarrassed, but pleased to have an audience.

She stared back at him, unaware that she, alone in her chair, was the only one watching the Blue Jay dance. He ruffled again, more passionately this time, and she giggled.

The voice that startled her before was youthful now, almost child-like. She liked the Blue Jay, for he was dancing solely for her. He waltzed along the ground, treading tiny marks

LISTINGS

A special short story from Genevieve Westrope...

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concrete.creativewriting@uea.ac.uk

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Creative writing

18JAN10 ISSUE 250

concrete.fashion@uea.ac.uk

Inside vs. Outside

Can’t you see that it’s just raining; Ain’t no need to go Outside

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It’s January, the most depressing time of the year with scrunched-up wrapping paper overflowing in the bin, a long list of thank you letters to write, a fuzzy head from New Year celebrations and endless adverts and magazines saying we should all be shaping up with brisk morning hikes while adding swimming, yoga and boxercise in to our already work-filled schedules.

To top it all off, it’s still freezing cold and gloomy outside, and with the sounds of sleigh bells long gone there’s nothing to look forward to. I’d much rather follow the wise words of Jack Johnson (from the title) and stay in the warm, snug as a bug with a cup of steaming hot tea and those banana pancakes that he sings of whilst eeking out ‘work’ from home as long as possible.

So while padding around in those ultra cosy socks from Father Christmas, here are a few fashion-forward websites enabling you to embrace the sales without the arctic conditions. Surf’s up!

WIRED

Kat Jones

N ET -A - P O RT E R .C O M “Don’t ever underestimate the power of women to shop”, something the founder of Net-a-Porter, Natalie Massenet, used to say to doubtful venture capitalists, and it appears she was right. Over ten years ago Natalie Massenet launched the online high-fashion empire Net-a-Porter, and its undeniable success can be seen in the figures alone, as the company receives 5,000 orders a day.

If you are looking for luxury gift-wrapped style, then look no further. The days of endlessly trawling stores and enduring insufferably stuffy changing rooms are over.

With all the information you could possibly require, including size charts, whether the item fits true to size and even tips from stylists on how best to wear the piece, the customer service is undeniable.

The transactions are over so quickly that they are practically guilt-free and within 1-2 working days, you are greeted with your beautiful boxed purchases and if it’s still not quite right, then there’s a free returns policy.

asos offer those lucky tykes with an NUS student card a 10% discount off all purchases.

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asos.com: It’s got it all covered; clothes for women, men and kids, beauty products, accessories from hats to headphones, a heading on the homepage is even entitled ‘life’, for crying out loud. And the guys at asos certainly provide a vast range of products and features to compliment any stylish life.

While the 735 results brought up by a search for women’s dresses may seem daunting at first, the asos site comes into its own here, allowing the shopper to refine results by style, size, colour, price and even celebrity inspiration, so you don’t have to spend your precious time sifting through endless pages of unsuitable or temptingly budget-

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fashion

Happy New Year! Welcome back to the Spring Semester of the year and not just any old year but a new decade. 2011 has sucker-punched itself on us and it brings with it a brand new attitude to fashion. First things first, the January sales, it has to be done but we bring you the alternative solution to battling the crowds and the cold by reviewing some of the best websites. When you do have to venture outside, check out the shoot of how to layer up with style, and lads we give you a glimspe of the trends you should embrace this season. Enjoy.

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4

Hot List

Maternity

Red Carpet Fashion: Nat and Jane have set the standard.

Smokin’

The gorgeous

Spring/Summer collection by Stella McCartney

busting items.

Still feeling a little lost? Take a look at the fashion stories for featured trends and shop by collection, or flick through the online magazine, which ingeniously allows you to click and buy many of the products on show. The massive blog section on the site offers yet more inspiration on ‘What’s hot in our world right now…’, including street style snaps and tips straight from the buyers’ mouths, as well as features reaching beyond just fashion, such as new music, films and reviews of stylish bars. asos is nothing short of an online department store, with the added advantage of being able to shop in your pjs.

Eleanor Wilson

Fond of your cosy,

festive jumper? You’ll love this trend of animal emblems on knitwear.

From personal experience, this is the most indulgent way to splurge online. And for all the students out there, the prices for luxury can be intimidating and frankly out of the question.

But have no fear, Net-a-Porter’s little sister is out there in the form of the Outnet.com, the discount designer site!

Melissa Rushworth

A Few More Favourites: 1. www.instyle.co.uk

Tips on style and beauty that go beyond its magazine with a “t0-do list” daily to enhance your fashion knowledge.

2. www.topshop.com

Discover new trends and lines coming to one of our favourite high street stores.

3. www.start-london.com

The baby of Brix Smith Start, the outrageous blonde seen in Gok Wan’s Fashion Fix offers designer must-haves for men and women.

4. www.fashionbeans.com

Jam-packed with guides and articles on men’s fashion and grooming.

Chokin’

Step away from the

Crocs. They were ugly in 2010 and they are still ugly in 2011.

Suri Cruise;

a six year old with a better wardrobe than us - give us a break!

Good bye Guyliner - this year wants clean, wellgroomed faces..

fashion Layercake

Greg Mann

5

Greg Mann

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concrete.fashion@uea.ac.uk

18jan10 ISSUE 250

Layer upon

layer of texture, knitwear, cardies

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and scarves to shield from the

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blustery weather.

Greg Mann

Tone Up Without Hitting the Gym

Jersey £19 River Island

the way to go, far to0 dark for the joys of Spring, besides you would never find a woman who would describe her clothes as being “charcoal” in colour, so don’t worry they are all masculine terms.

For those braver, there is always the ‘salmon pink’ category on offer. Believe me, you will have the girls buzzing around you like bees to sweet, sweet honey.

Kat Jones

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For Spring/Summer of 2011, men have an easy time perfecting the art of colourcoordination.

Catwalks across Europe showcased many new lines of men’s fashion covering the body from top to toe in one colour. Outfits consisted of each piece in a natural earthy tone, so think charcoal, teal, magnolia, slate.

Pretentious descriptions?

No, helpful descriptions, as “grey” and “brown” are not

Greg Mann

CREATIVE WRITINg

It can be pick-a-mix with pattern too. From Topshop florals to H&M checks, just layer with a few block colours as clashing prints is so 2010.

Details of pearls and jewellery add individuality.

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Chunky scarves with matching hats are great for well co-ordinated warmth. There are bargains to be found at Primark at the £1 mark or for those that will see a bit more wear and tear, then head to Accessorize.

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Top to toe texture, there is plenty on the highstreet. Zara is home of “the Blazer” and with 50% off in the sale, many are under £30. Teamed with camel jodhpurs, the blazer oozes the cool country chic look.

Trousers £32 Topman

Bag £12 H&M

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concrete.arts@uea.ac.uk

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Literature>Hishan Matar>In The Country Of Men Over five hundred copies of In the Country of Men were distributed to all first year students starting at UEA last term. On the 7th of December 2010, Concrete attended Hisham Matar’s talk about his debut novel.

Matar starts the evening unconventionally by jokingly saying, “I want to apologise because I behaved very badly with UEA”. It was certainly a way to grasp attention. He then explained that he had once applied for the university’s Creative Writing Programme, but had postponed his reply. Later on, he only left for UEA a day after the start of the programme. As he sat through his journey, Matar received news that In the Country of Men was to be published and immediately boarded the next train home - leaving the university in the lurch.

With that, his straightforward nature broke the ice. The main highlight was Matar’s talk about his childhood and how it shared parallels with the book. His father was a UN ambassador for Libya and was active in politics. The 1970s was a time of political turmoil in the country.

However, the heart of the novel is not in the politics but the children who

are indirectly affected by it, such as the novel’s narrator Suleiman. He expresses that back then families were “playing a delicate game” of sheltering children from Libyan politics. In his case, Matar’s family

attempted to “make it seem somewhat normal” when they were forced to move to Egypt in 1979.

Although Matar was generally at ease with the audience, he seemed slightly uncomfortable when it came to the discussion of his father’s interrogation.

Nevertheless, being an unavoidable topic that featured in the novel, Matar later calmly pointed out that his father’s disappearance and the knowledge two years later that he had been tortured in Libya naturally affected his family.

The final part of the interview involved less serious matters, such as Matar’s disclosure that his childhood ambition was to be a philosopher.

It would have been unusual for the average 12-year-old had it not been for his parents’ encouragement for him to pursue literature. Matar eventually graduated with a degree in architecture but it has not stopped him from following his passion in poetry and writing.

Hisham Matar’s honesty in disclosing the story behind his novel shows how

much can be discovered by reading in between the lines of any novel. “In writing, everything’s a language.” He says. “You are caught in the mechanics of the language”.

Rachael Lum

Dance>C12 Dance Theatre>The Chair and Enough Both trendy and diverse, C-12 is a successful dance theatre company, formed back in 2005 and originating from the London/ Hertfordshire area. Directed by AnnieLunnette Deakin Foster, Nasae Evanson and Adam Towndrow, the company unveiled two emotionally gripping episodes of performance at the Norwich Playhouse at the end of last semester. The first ‘The Chair’, and the second ‘Enough’.

Although perhaps suggesting simplicity

with such blunt captions, the performances themselves rather proved intricate, and penetrating. Acquiring 5 star reviews from Fringe, Hairline and Three Weeks, the innovative group focuses on fusing together an original mixture of physical dance with a theatrical narrative.

‘Enough’ is captivating right from the start; we witness two females in close proximity, with a series of movements and postures highlighting pain, passion and sorrow. The compelling and dramatic music throughout, alongside the resistant, unnatural and distorted shapes made between the two presented the sincerity of darkness in this piece, and furthermore symbolised the depths of struggling to live life with a burden. Whatever this may be.

‘The Chair’ represented the first time that all directors had collaborated together on a project. It is set in the 1940s and looks into a man’s experience of living with abuse. With an emphasis on characterisation, the performance tells a tale of somebody taking justice into his own hands. We know little about this man but nonetheless Nasae Evanson’s skills and striking performance in the lead role proved prominent and impressive, and the audience was forced to empathise with him and react to his story emotionally.

Murder, torture and forgiveness are considered through one man’s discovery of his roots and relationships and thus the performance, although heavy (to say the least) was addictive and engaging.

Kooky and stylized, it was clear ‘The Chair’ had a lot of meaning behind it, and an immense amount of work had been put into perfecting it.

If you’re in a good mood, perhaps this evening isn’t going to enrich or furthermore provoke that feeling, as both pieces prove moving and emotionally tenacious. From

beginning to end the performances demonstrated creativity, talent and skill, rich with depth and symbolic imagery, and clever techniques and ideas.

Despite brilliant reviews and a fantastic reception, Norwich Playhouse wasn’t full.

It seems C-12 is on the way to becoming more brilliant, innovative and well-known but it isn’t quite there yet. If it sounds like your sort of thing you should check them out on tour, but be sure to spread the word.

Harriet Jones

through the jungle at one point.

The set had been carefully thought through, with mice appearing from the sides to then become little children running to and fro. The giant was portrayed exceptionally well by gigantic limbs that, with the help of a few wires, managed to pick things up and carry them off stage.

Finally, the costumes for everyone were over the top enough to be brilliant in any pantomime situation, with the dame (the usual pantomime stereotype of a cross dressed male) obsessed with “her” wardrobe and changing every other scene.

There were the other usual stereotypes of calling out silly things to the characters, and the inevitable “he’s behind you”, yet they were so easily slotted into the storyline, it would have been easy to miss them in all the excitement of finding out what was going to happen next. The music was brilliant too, with contemporary tracks like ‘Walking on Sunshine’ by Katrina and the Waves and ‘Hero’ by Enrique Iglesias, alongside original composed ones and Disney tracks to set the scenes perfectly.

On the third day of performance, there were still a few teething problems, yet as the play is comedic anyway, these fitted in, including a brilliant moment when not realising her weight, the dame sat on a bench and catapulted the other person across the stage. Yet, these are almost expected in pantomime. Seeing the cast in spontaneous laughter invokes the same in you, and makes it all the better.

The pantomime was successful in appeasing to all age groups with its easy storyline to keep the kids happy and it’s below the belt jokes for the adults, guaranteeing there wasn’t a single unhappy face leaving the theatre.

Hazel Compton

whose unfailing belief in himself above all other things is both astounding and admirable to the nth degree.

The narrative is punctuated with little slices of football history – League tables from the 70s that see Ipswich finish above Arsenal, QPR qualify for the European Cup and Manchester United relegated to the second division. Although attacked on publication by some of Clough’s family and some red-faced ex-Leeds United players, it has been hailed as a brilliantly moving representation of Clough’s achievements and tribulations as a manager –and rightfully so.

Perhaps the most stunning thing about this book is its continuing familiarity to a world of football fans at a time when football players have never been so alienating. Peace’s Clough haggles with Ron Greenwood over Bobby Moore and Trevor Brooking in his office, at the Upton Park we still know and (some of us) cherish. Leeds play at Elland Road, Derby pack out the Baseball Ground on a Saturday afternoon, and modern-day manager of Derby County is still Brian Clough’s eight-year-old son going to work with his dad. No one transfers to an American pub side for money that would feed the starving – in this respect, it’s almost beautiful escapism.

You don’t have to love Derby, hate

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Clough, former manager of Derby County FC and bitter rival of Don Revie, Leeds Unitedturned-England manager in the 1970s.

Peace shows Clough ‘warts and all’ during his famous 44-day stretch as Don Revie’s unsuccessful successor of Leeds United. The language is coarse and the fights are dirty, and to that end Peace truly brings Clough back from the dead with his controversial ‘fiction from fact’ portrait of a fascinating and charmingly flawed man,

ARTS

With the commercial success of the film adaptation of The Damned United (starring Michael Sheen and Timothy Spall), people often forget it began with a novel. What David Peace does within the novel is something truly spectacular – he climbs inside the mind of a man who once claimed to be “…not the best manager in the country, but in the top One.” The narrative reads as a stream-of-consciousness battle of success and regret in the conscience of Brian

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Literature>David Peace>The Damned United

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rest as the performance went on to catcall the actors. Maybe it was the actors, who kept us entertained with jokes that were topical, culturally referencing events like Gillian McKeith on I’m A Celebrity... for her fainting attacks (“I just went over all Gillian McKeith!”) or satirising the Disney film Beauty and the Beast by making the heroine dance with the giant’s fingers, and giving the villain in the play the Little Britain rip off by hypnotizing people with the catchphrase “Look into the eyes, not around the eyes”. There was even Nellie the Elephant who went for a happy rampage

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Many pantomimes, due to the celebrity cast list, seem to ignore the fact that a pantomime is aimed at children and end up feeling stale, hard to sit through and a waste of money. But Norwich Theatre Royal’s performance of Jack and the Beanstalk for this year’s Christmas festivities brought a truly entertaining act to this young reporter’s eyes, making one rethink the tag that all pantomime is diabolical.

Maybe it was the addition of a wonderful audience that, when asked, really did give their best participation, with many voices standing out from the

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Pantomime>Theatre Royal>Jack and the Beanstalk

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Leeds or even like football at all to enjoy the beauty and magnificence of this book.

Peace himself dubbed it as “An English Fairy Story.” The Times named it, “Probably the best novel ever written about sport.” It might not be – but it’s in the top One. Emma Webbe

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concrete.tvdigital@uea.ac.uk

Reality>Famous and Fearless PrimeTime>Come Fly With Me available on

bbc one,

4OD

Thursday, 9pm

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Presented by Chris Evans with Clare Balding and Jack Osbourne, two teams split by girls and boys compete amongst themselves to win different ‘fearless’ sports.

The sometimes used set instantly reminded of the epic Gladiators set of yesteryear with a huge family filled arena audience. With that you expect excitement, competition and good ol’ family fun but was any of that actually achieved?

“Slack has to be given,

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The TV license fee has been the topic of much debate for a long time with discussions over whether television viewers should have a choice over if they pay or not, along with the suggestion that the BBC does not release enough good quality television to justify the £145.50 a year.

One of the most popular stand-points on the debate over the fee is that it is unreasonable that there is no choice in the matter. In order to watch any television, and in many cases, simply to own signal-

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Chris Evans is certain polarizing and this show cements that his personality is like that of marmite. Even the normally quite cheeky personality of Jack Osbourne is sapped by the lack of chemistry as they awkwardly try to introduce the events.

Awkward is the most suitable theme for the entire series; the slick VTs of the two teams learning the sports is constantly compared to the ill-prepared live sections.

Slack has to be given considering this is

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over all, a live show”

a first series and it being over all a live show.

There was a reasonable idea here, but it was as botched as Eastenders babygate.

There’s been understandable complaints that the ‘fearless’ factor of the show was minimal as the celebrities were only racing around a track on slightly different equipment each time (dirt buggies, power skateboards, mini motorbikes, etc).

The slightly more exciting feats were taken on by the guest celebrities, but they were over very quickly before returning back to the repetitive starting and stopping of the races.

Also, it’s hardly fair for the competition that Sam Branson, Richard Branson’s son, had done about as many sports as Jack Osbourne.

Kacey Ainsworth, otherwise known as Little Mo in Eastenders, never had a chance but provided the viewers with a funny, sweet character to cheer on. She even made Chris Evans seem human and vaguely amusing at one point.

It’s sad that they made all this effort and it didn’t even become good bad TV, as maybe that’s what they had hoped for.

Natalie Stephenson

Very few fledgling sketch shows are afforded the honour of a prime time Christmas Day debut, but the festive front line check-in of Come Fly with Me is telling of the esteem with which the BBC, and its audience, hold David Walliams and Matt Lucas.

The esteem is seemingly justified by its audience figures, with the first episode securing a final figure of 12.47 million, placing it in the top 10 most watched programmes of 2010. Filmed in a ‘mockumentary’ style with affectionate nods to shows such as Airport and Airline, it is essentially parodying a genre of popular documentary a decade or more after it achieved prominence.

Whilst the success of Little Britain lay in its surreal observational comedy before later becoming an unstoppable culturally divisive catchphrase-vomiting machine, sadly Come Fly with Me fails to adequately do either. The sketches and characters tumble past, but nothing gathers any comedic momentum. When the laughs come from viewer embarrassment at an ethically questionable portrayal of two Japanese schoolgirls, it’s time to worry whether this should really have made it to television at all.

It is undeniable that Lucas and Walliams are both hugely talented actors- one of the few joys of Come Fly with Me is seeing them totally inhabit the characters, making them believable, if cartoonish, individuals.

Some characters simply raise laughs due to the level of transformation Lucas or Walliams have undergone, which doesn’t say much for the material. The material is lightweight and repetitive at best, crass and objectionable at worst.

Indeed, the show has sparked complaints about perceived racism and puerility, and at a time when television is already on the rack over controversial comedy thanks to nightmarish Frankie Boyle’s Tramadol Nights, a divisive and popular sketch show is the last thing the BBC needs.

Therefore, whilst Come Fly with Me looks to be successful enough to return, it’s tonally unbalanced comedy could become the next blunderbuss in the arsenal of the Press to open fire upon the BBC and the License Fee. Matt Tidby Previous episodes currently available on BBC iplayer

The License Fee: Is It Really Necessary? receiving technology incurs a fee which is seemingly obscene. Surely many people would rather simply not pay for a TV license and just not watch BBC channels, however this is not an option. Would it not be much more reasonable to run a subscription fee for the BBC and give audiences a choice?

Furthermore, with the increasing popularity of internet-based catch-up services such as BBC iPlayer, there is no real need to pay for the privilege of watching something on television which can simply

be seen online for free. With an increasing number of live sports events passing onto Sky there are few live events which warrant the annual cost of the TV license fee.

The BBC was set up as a public service to “inform, educate and entertain” while representing the British community and promoting citizenship within a civil society.

But why should we have to pay for the BBC when the government manages, sometimes with difficulty, to maintain funding to other forms of public service?

Is it just that television is not regarded as necessary for the good of society?

Helen Eaton

themed episodes, similar to the hugely popular ‘Power of Madonna’. In the first half alone, there are episodes based around Britney Spears, The Rocky Horror Show Picture Show and a Christmas theme.

Interestingly, it is the subplot of a love interest for Kurt which many seemed to respond to positively to overseas. Darren Criss joins the cast as rival Glee clubber Blaine, and it is his cover of Katy Perry’s Teenage Dream which reached the highest position in the US charts, creating a huge buzz around the talented young star practically overnight.

In all ways, Glee seems to be getting bigger and better, and television is just that bit more entertaining while it’s around.

Amy Adams

CREATIVE WRITINg ARTS

“Adler, Hound and Reichenbach” are all that has been given in the way of spoilers for the next series but this is more than enough to spark the interest of Sherlock Holmes fans.

“Adler” refers to Irene Adler, considered to be Holmes’ love interest played by Rachel McAdams in the recent Guy Ritchie film; “Hound” is of course a reference to The Hound Of The Baskervilles, perhaps the most famous of Conan-Doyle’s stories; and finally “Reichenbach” is the location where Holmes and Moriarty have their final encounter.

For the time being however, all there is to do is to eagerly await the next outing of Sherlock Holmes and his loyal Dr Watson into modern-day London.

Helen Eaton

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In the summer of 2010 Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman graced our screens with a modern day interpretation of Conan-Doyle’s detective duo.

Created by Dr Who’s Mark Gatiss and Stephen Moffat Sherlock is set to return during 2011 for a second series. The three-part series averaged a more than reasonable 7.2 million viewers over the series and the co-creators are said to have been “overwhelmed” by the response to the show; it comes as no surprise then that a second series has been commissioned.

While there may be no clue yet as to when the show will air Moffat has been dropping hints on key plot developments that Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson will encounter.

Yet Mimi’s eldest son, Jamie, has issues of his own to contend with when his estranged wife, Karen, returns to Chatsworth hoping to rekindle their romance for the sake of her son, Connor. But can Jamie simply forgive and forget? With a new family on the estate and a fresh teenage love interest (or two) for the cunning Carl, series eight and its 22 episodes promises to be a strong season.

New and regular viewers alike may have to suspend their disbelief a little when the show ventures into the weird and wonderful world of sci-fi with a pastiche of a much loved BBC time-travelling drama. But nonethe-less, Shameless remains miles ahead as Channel Four’s premier gritty, hilarious and current night time caper.

Eleanor Brown

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Sherlock

Tickets this way for the Chatsworth Express!

Shameless is back and promises to be full of farcical misadventures with the bingedrinking, drug taking, overtly sexual working class rogues of Manchester. Series Seven saw hapless patriarch of the Gallagher family, Frank, find his soulmate in the form of ditsy librarian, Libby. However, as their wedding day draws nearer, Frank is nowhere to be found. Will Libby ever walk down the aisle and become Mrs. Gallagher the third?

Elsewhere, all is not well with the Maguires’: after the surprise birth of baby Cilla and husband Paddy’s departure, matriarch Mimi is left in charge of the family business. However, when she suddenly becomes ill, dozy son Shane takes over, causing more than a few problems.

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Shameless

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Glee

Whether you love it, hate it, or still don’t understand it, Glee is back for a second series, and it’s just as fabulous as ever!

Last year, millions of viewers were caught up in the shiny, optimistic and hilarious whirlwind of the McKinley High Glee Club, and this second series promises to have a similar effect, if the American response is anything to go by. It has been nominated for several awards, and music from the show once again filled last year’s charts.

There have been some changes, the new series promises to feature more contemporary songs than the last, and the first episode alone contained performances of songs by Lady Gaga, Jay-Z and Travie McCoy. The new series also includes more

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in 2011.

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Here’s our pick of what’s not to be missed

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Review: Need For Speed: Hot Pursuit

Format: 360, PS3(tested), Wii, PC Release: Out Now Price: from £29.99 - £39.99 Another year, another Need for Speed.

However this time Burnout developer Criterion is at the helm and they have created an experience that is somehow both unrecognisably, and irrefutably, Need for Speed.

Several changes have been made to the standard formula. They have been conceived and implemented so well that it is difficult to know which is most significant addition.

Firstly, along with the reintroduction of

police chases, comes the opportunity to actually play as the law enforcement. This is not just a gimmick tacked on; it is a full single player game mode which takes an equally important role as the racer mode. Both Racer and Cop elements can be progressed through independently and have a distinct feel from one another as not to feel tiresome at any point.

Predictably the police career involves taking out racers to end races, whilst your Racer career is largely made up of evading police and winning races. Add to this special events for both; police-less races, and time trials for Racers and one on one battles and clean run time trials of police and there is enough variety to keep the game fresh.

In both game modes there are certain upgrades available; EMP blasts, spike strips, road blocks etc that add a genuine depth to the game play; as you progress through the game the AI becomes uncannily clever and the timely use of these weapons can be the difference earning a gold award and completely failing an event.

However the biggest addition to the

franchise is Autolog. Autolog is a very simple feature that automatically collects the times of your friends and presents them to you at perhaps every possible opportunity. On top of all this, at almost any time that you see a friend’s race time you’ll be only a button press away from challenging it. Even once you have won an event on single player Autolog gives you reason to keep on returning to one-up your friends in a way that, normally, only typical arcade games can.

The online it is astounding; it is fun without exception. Ultimately the same as single player but with the mayhem only other humans can deliver. It’s so good it threatens to distract from the single player but autolog and unlocks mean you will happily flitter between the two.

All this is well and good, the game is heavy on features and well varied but this is of course irrelevant if it isn’t supported by strong gameplay. Thankfully this is perhaps where the game is at it’s strongest. The controls are perhaps initially jarring if you’ve been playing more realistic racers but they quickly begin to feel natural; allowing you to

10/10 properly enjoy what the game has to offer.

The best way to sum up this game is it is exciting. The sense of speed is amazing, when you hit boost the screen quivers, your controller rumbles and the sound roars as if you’re taking off in a jet...a sensation that doesn’t get old. At any given time in the game you will find yourself holding your breath and hoping. Hoping you dodge the road block, hoping your drift somehow maintains its impossible balance. But the great thing is, whether or not you succeed; immediately afterwards you will want to turn around and tell someone what just happened. This excitement along with Autolog makes this the first game to truly define what an ‘Arcade Racer’ is.

Mehul Samani

The Good

-Fantastic Online play

The Bad -Juggling two careers can feel like progress is slow

30 Pictures of Cats saying ‘Sup’ Exactly what it says on the tin. People seem to have a built in fascination with cats and their day to day cat like activities. Heres a page full of cats just chillin’ and saying heyyy. www.buzzfeed.com/peggy/30-photos-ofcats-saying-sup We Are Hunted An online music chart website. A great place to discover new music and broaden your musical horizons. Currently displaying the top 99 emerging songs of the year this is definitely a site to keep safe on your bookmarks bar. http://wearehunted.com 50 YahooAnswers Fails In the vein of Failbook and Failblog, its a compilation of 50 of the most absurd YahooAnswers questions you have ever seen. Ranging from steaming genitals to Lazy eyes. www.forkparty.com/50-yahoo-answersfails-stupid-questions/2/

Tweet This

Some of the best, most interesting or just downright funny people tweeting right now! @WilliamShatner This aging Star Trek captain is still as active as ever in his new TV series based on the twitter hit ‘S**t My Dad Says’. His tweets range from deranged and comedic to plugging his new show. As always with Shatner, you just never know what your going to get. @serafinowicz British actor and comedian.

He’s been on almost every comedy panel show and had his own TV series of comedy sketches involving Brian Butterfield. Peter Serafinowicz is a modern comic genius and his tweets continually reflect his everyday comedic attitude.

Give us some love!

Incase you wonderful guys and gals haven’t already noticed, us lovely folk here at Concrete now have our own brilliant Twitter page.

Keep up to date on the breaking news and forthcoming features.

Give us some love @concrete_UEA

Microsoft CEO Steve Ball mer during the Keynote speech

For three days in January this year Las Vegas wasn’t just host to innumerable z-list celebrities, Elvis impersonators and the infamous ‘Sunset Strip’; no this January between the 6th and the 9th it was host to the worlds largest showcase of the technology of the future. The Consumer Electronics Show (or CES for short) has been running annually in Las Vegas for over 12 years and is always host to the technology worlds biggest announcements, reveals and it paints a vivid future of consumer electronics for the years to come. 2011 was no different with over 2,700 technology companies taking part, including Microsoft, Audi, Ford, Samsung and Cisco Systems.

This year didn’t bring any of the big reveals from previous shows, such as BluRay or HDTV, but it did reveal over 20,000 products heading our way over the coming year. Some products obviously are made for a niche market, however the big hitters of the show demonstrated how their new tech will make everybody’s lives easier, simpler and let us all have much more fun.

Ford revealed their push towards

You Groupie

Millions of people use Facebook and those people join Facebook Groups in their droves. Here are a couple of emerging groups that you may have missed.

Wanktastic Boasting the sentiment “EMBRACE THE WANK,” private Facebook Group ‘Wanktastic’ promises a place for girls and boys to feast and froth over usersubmitted photographs. From what I can tell these photographs are of an explicit nature, though without requesting to join the group it is impossible to see what “froth-worthy” delights Wanktastic actually has to offer.

If you enjoy ‘Suicide Girls’ (or guys), then ‘Wanktastic’ may be the Facebook group for you, just don’t expect the niceties found elsewhere as it is clear from the page description that this is a damn vulgar place indeed. Pretty boys, geeks and cartoon men are all welcome at ‘Wanktastic’, so why not voyage into the unknown pleasures of this sordid realm and give the head count a much needed boost (because 83 members ain’t worth SPAFF). It seems the only thing they don’t like at ‘Wanktastic’ are Biker Mice from Mars.... Do the whack off!

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People posting pictures of their Weenises, you can even post a picture of your own!

You may even learn a new term as a Weenis isn’t something you hear about every day.

Don’t worry its safe for the library and the workplace, get your mind out of the gutter. www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/show-usyour-weenis

Fords new electronic car. Ford Focus Electric

you having to take the time out to upload them and sort them yourself.

Microsoft also showed off the capabilities of its newest Windows platform, albeit whilst still using the Windows 7 front end. It also showed that it supports Systemon-a-Chip (SoC) computers, meaning you can shrink a current motherboard down to smaller than the size of mobile phones and still push out the same power of a top end laptop. Microsoft also showed of some new laptops being developed by third parties, such as an Acer Iconia which has two touch screens for larger viewing and multitasking and a Samsung PC tablet running Windows 7 and toting a 9 hour battery life and full QWERTY keyboard. Finally Microsoft showed off the future for Kinect with full facial and body tracking, upping its previous semi-body tracking technology.

CES 2011 played host to fresh ideas and essential consumer technologies. Not even 2 weeks into the year and already 2011 is shaping up to be spectacular.

Vaughn Highfield

I love the innuendo in Harry Potter As a nation there are two things we love: Harry Potter and Innuendo. As you’ve probably guessed from the title - ‘I love the Innuendo in Harry Potter’this exciting Facebook group offers both in abundance. The page is made up of member-submitted comments and snippets of innuendo (my favourite might just be Ron Weasley telling Neville that he is “supposed to stroke it,” though there is a lot of wand action going on too...), and with close to 36,000 members there is plenty to chuckle at.

The memories will come flooding back as you revisit old passages from the Harry Potter franchise, and they will take on new meaning right before your eyes. It’s like, well, magic, and the group will certainly make you question what you thought you knew about J K Rowling, the randy wench.

You might even fancy getting your own wand out and doing a spell of your own: this is saucy stuff.

DJ Turner

Free and Easy

CCleaner Computer running slow? Emptied the recycle bin, removed some unwanted programmes but yet it still wont run fast anymore? This is where you need CCleaner.

CCleaner goes through your files and deletes all unneeded temporary files from the Internet, goes into the depths of your computers registry and removes dead ends that slow the hard drive down.

Simple and effortless to use, you can just set it up and leave it to do its thing and in minutes your computer should seem noticeably improved. Perfect for the tech savvy and even for those who are lost on computers, CCleaner is the must have tool for Windows 7 users. http://www.piriform.com/ccleaner/

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Show Us Your Weenis

electric cars that can be simply charged up at home. In contrast to other electronic cars Ford worked in conjunction with Microsoft to develop ‘apps’ for their cars. These applications allow the user to set their car to auto heat up for scheduled journeys (as with no combustion engine electronic cars don’t warm up fast); it also allows the user to charge when electricity is cheapest, as the car works out when utility rates are at their lowest and thus charges economically.

To go hand in hand with this is android phone app My Ford Mobile. This works as an indicator of how charged your car is, where the nearest charge stations are in relation to your car and if you have enough charge to make a planned journey.

Sony was pushing its cloud based entertainment software Qriocity that runs across all Internet enabled Sony devices. So Sony Internet TV’s, PS3, PSP, Sony cameras, Blu-Ray players and so on. Qriocity allows the user to upload their music and pictures to the Qriocity server and then access it from any other Sony device. It means you could take a photo using your Sony camera and then instantly upload it so friends and family can access it across their devices without

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to take a step towards abolishing the myths surrounding the games industry and shed some light on the positive facts and benefits of having a thriving games industry, where video games are accepted and promoted as having cultural and educational worth.

The event itself will be hosted by Gamer’s Voice in the coming weeks. Gamer’s Voice was founded by Tom Watson MP on social networking site Facebook back in November 2009, and the group has since gained support from various high profile news and media sources (BBC News and Eurogamer to name a couple…), not to mention a few gaming politicians and thousands of UK gamers; as the gamer’s representative, it is only natural that Gamer’s Voice are doing all they can to save and promote the industry.

The short term goals of the event appear to be concerned with increasing the nation’s acceptance of gaming and the games industry by striking at the heart of the nation and its leaders – members of

Fun links to pass the time between socialising and learning.

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The notion of a Parliamentary Gaming Day is one that some of us may find conflicting, confusing and, well, just plain paradoxical. Any of the above responses are well justified when we consider the not-so-sweet history between videogames and Parliament within the UK (and let’s not forget the media…). In the past couple of years games and gamers have undergone numerous attacks from politicians and the mainstream media, and let’s not forget Alan Titchmarsh spouting off on teatime television about why videogames are “evil”…

(Yes Alan, you can take that old chestnut and ram it up your hose pipe). Many, if not all, of these attacks have been dumb and unfounded, delivering banal exclamations about how videogames corrupt our children and warp the minds of our public into psychopaths, without pausing to review the industry for what it actually is – a valuable cultural export and economic resource.

Parliamentary Gaming Day, then, intends

tax break understandably ranks high on the agenda at Gamer’s Voice.

The other issue at hand here is that of the PEGI (Pan European Game Information) system and how an increased understanding of the ratings system in place could relieve negative criticism of the gaming industry from Parliament, and particularly from parents. The PEGI system replaced a lot of national ratings systems worldwide and utilises a code of conduct to which every publisher bound to the system is legally obliged to uphold. If parents and guardians, as well as retailers, are promoting and abiding by the PEGI system at every opportunity then there is no reason why videogames cannot be celebrated and embraced as a media for all ages, in the same way that film, music and literature span demographics and audiences of all ages.

The menu is full for Gamer’s Voice, and when the fabled Parliamentary Day does take place there are going to be some serious messages to push if it is to be a success for the industry. Getting MPs hands on with videogames and family friendly motion sensitivity (Kinect, Move, Wii…have your pick) could be just what it takes to get the proverbial ball rolling again. Who knows?

This time next year we could be looking at tax breaks, gaming as an art form, and oh, is that Grandma mowing down zombies in Dead Rising 2? What can I say? She is old enough to play it after all…

DJ Turner

Super Showcase

WIRED

Http:// Parliament. If the opinions of Parliament can be altered, even slightly, then the moral acceptance of the gaming industry will be tenfold. Statements such as the Daily Mail’s classic misguided clanger of a headline ‘Teenager gets life for ‘Manhunt’ murder’ (following the sentencing of 17 year old murderer Warren Leblanc in 2003), although entirely unfounded – the courts denied any connection between the videogame Manhunt and the murder – have been severely damaging to the public’s perception and acceptance of gaming in the UK, particularly where Parliament are concerned. Altering this perception is perhaps the biggest battle that Gamer’s Voice have on their hands, though it is by no means the only pressing issue.

Once we put problems of perception aside, there are other notable issues surrounding the actual industry itself.

The first of these is last year’s disappearance of the proposed tax relief for game developers; pre-election plans to bring in tax breaks for the industry were hyped up before being ditched in the emergency budget last summer, meaning that many celebrated publishers such as EA and Square Enix have had no choice but to minimise on their British investments. The UK no longer ranks in the top three largest game producers globally, though in the last fiscal year UK game development chipped in no less than £1bn to the British economy, and with successful British game developers such as Rare and Codemasters there is plenty of potential for future profit on big scale. The possibility of a

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<Internet>

Playing with the Law The battleground for a new type of Political Modern Warfare

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TRON LEGACY Release Date: 17/12/10 Tron Legacy delivers on its trailer’s promises - stunning visuals, a unique 3D world and fastpaced action sequences.

However, as with so many films capitalising on the new 3D obsession, visuals grab priority over plot-line and characters who are so archetypical that they could be pigeonholed by a child.

Although the film is linked somewhat to the first Tron film, you do not need to have seen or heard of it to grasp the essentials.

Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges) is a genius video game

developer and creator of the Tron game. One night he simply vanishes without explanation and is never found - leaving his young son Sam behind.

Fast-forward 20 years and Sam (Garrett Hedlund) wants little to do with the company his father created (sound familiar?).

But one day his father’s old colleague receives a message from Flynn’s old arcade; Sam investigates and inadvertently gets sucked into ‘the grid’ – a computer-generated world created by his father.

Praise has to go to the designers of ‘the grid’ – a world illuminated by bands of coloured light. A pat on the back should also be given to the constructers

THE KING’S SPEECH

concrete.film@uea.ac.uk

FACT: THE

$13,000,000. IN OCTOBER, THE WEB DOMAIN WWW.SEX.COM WAS SOLD FOR THE SAME AMOUNT. COINCIDENCE? WE THINK NOT..

COSTUME BUDGET FOR

of the various fighting and chase scenes which include races between ‘light’ motorbikes and high speed aerial pursuits. The concept of having a disc which records your game play is also an intriguing one, and the blend of 2D and 3D adds another layer of visual interest to the film.

TRON LEGACY

Nevertheless, the film is let down by the plot. Big (and potentially thoughtprovoking) themes are touched upon throughout, but sadly these themes are sadly left undeveloped.

There are references to the ideas of utopia and a man’s dream of creating the ‘perfect’ world – but not

127 HOURS

WAS A STAGGERING

enough is made of this and the destructiveness of the search for a world without flaws lacks the punch it needs. You are also left with little idea of what Flynn’s plan actually was and other big subjects such as God and genocide feel slightly marginalised.

Questions about whether computerprogrammed people could actually escape to and exist in our world are also left unanswered. The result is a sadly predictable storyline which ends on a particularly corny note with the hero riding off into the sunset with the girl.

Character-wise everyone plays their part – Sam is brave, impetuous and buff, Kevin is wise, old and lacking initiative

and Quorra (Olivia Wilde) is doe-eyed and squeezed into an impossibly tight outfit. Michael Sheen also makes a brief, and overthe-top, appearance. This is about as far as character development goes, and although it is possible to argue that this is all the film requires, you can’t help feeling that the reunion of father and son could have been a little more dramatic.

Whilst this film scores top marks for its imagery and action, it is undeniably dragged down by the weak story, generic characters and an overly long running time – points that prevent Tron Legacy from being as good as it could have been.

Claire Price

THE GREEN HORNET

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Director: Joseph Kosinski

film

Director: Tom Hooper Release Date: 7/1/11 The King’s Speech could have been a damp squib with its potentially boring subject matter and the anticipation built by Oscar hype. However, for once the film lives up to the publicity.

The film follows Bertie, also known as the Duke of York (Colin Firth) and his struggles to perform public duties with his stammer.

In desperation, his wife (Helena Bonham Carter) introduces him to speech therapist Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush) whose unorthodox techniques and frank manner help the prince to begin conquering his demons.

Lionel’s support becomes crucial when King

Edward VIII (Guy Pearce) abdicates, leaving Bertie the throne just as war breaks out with Germany.

What makes this film great is the sublime performances of both Firth and Rush, whose characters play and clash with each other perfectly.

Their developing friendship and the gradual opening-up of Bertie to someone outside the family is engrossing, as is the insight into the life of a royal. With its added moments of hilarity, The King’s Speech is fantastic entertainment; watch out for some copious swearing and fantastically timed comic acting from an infinitely accomplished cast.

Both inspiring and emotional, in short: a real joy to watch.

Claire Price

Director: Danny Boyle Release Date: 7/1/11 With the vast playground of Blue John Canyon at his feet, the sheer pig-ignorant daredevil Aron Ralston is halted during his adventure by an unsuspecting boulder awaiting his lumbering arrival.

Seeming like a trap which Saw’s Jigsaw would be proud of, the character’s mental and physical exhaustion leads him to drift into several hallucinogenic states.

Character-driven plots are ones which director Danny Boyle is well accustomed to, allowing his mastery of filmmaking to explore the agonised state of a man facing certain death. The camera lingers uncomfortably on Ralston’s lowest moments

in the ravine featuring some gruesome scenes, but there is no moment of raw expression where he finally registers the concept of his fate in its entirety.

This is probably down to the performance from James Franco who, accepting the burden of maintaining the interest as the film’s sole main character, plays Aron with sheer determination not to be defeated, teetering between likeability and arrogance.

Again Boyle seems to have raided his music collection, some welcome and some just cringeworthy, making the film both edgy and somewhat awkwardly sentimental, reminiscent of Slumdog Millionaire. A charmingly bizarre true story doing what it set out to do, but that is all.

Paul Martin

Director: Michel Gondry Release Date: 14/1/11 Adaptations of comic books have become a trend within the film industry, and The Green Hornet is one which has been anticipated with a lot of nervous thoughts. Will it be a blockbuster or a total flop?

For this reviewer, the latter is true. The narrative was slow, over-done and at moments held too much arrogance and stubbornness that it simply didn’t flow well. It tried too hard and it looks like it too. If the special effects in this film could be set aside from the plot, one would definitely be astounded at how little there really is to the storyline.

The Green Hornet

introduces so many moments of incredible effects that it is a shame the narrative falls short. Seth Rogan, who also wrote the script, played a character that is just like him in real life - it just didn’t sit right within the rest of the film.

What makes the film worse is the IMAX 3D aspect was not needed, and was also blurry and inconsistent too often throughout the film.

All in all this is a film that will disappoint its comicbook fans; however, it may just be that those who like action movies for the sake of action scenes may enjoy it. But keep in mind that the narrative is pretty over-used and you may be bored in your seat minutes in to watching it.

Samantha Rogers

GULLIVER’S TRAVELS

13

THE WAY BACK

George Gilbert

Alek Stoodley

tV

DVD RELEASES DINNER FOR SCHMUCKS

PIRANHA 3D Director: Alexandre Aja Release Date: 27/12/10

Not for the faint of heart, Piranha relishes the chance to mix zombie-style theatrics with bikini bodies and obnoxious college students. If you missed out on the 3D version in the cinema then the 2D DVD version still makes a splash.

Although not as charming as horror genius Joe Dante’s original Piranha (1978), it is not without its own merits.

Piranha (2010) has more gore, silly science and a lot more boobs.

It’s spring break and the quiet town of Lake Victoria is suddenly host to 50,000 drunk college students looking for some fun in the

Director: Jay Roach Release Date: 4/1/11

sun. Piranha lulls you into a false sense of security with a traditional trashy soft porn sub-plot and a fortunate/ unfortunate (depending on what you like) underground tremor releasing some very hungry piranhas intent on joining the party.

The classic doughnut of death reappears and it’s just as effective as in the original movie; thankfully with a bigger budget comes more extras so no repeat shots of injured swimmers reaching

FILM

The biggest challenge in the development of The Way Back must have been fitting such an epic journey into a feature length film. Based on a memoir written by Slavomir Rawicz depicting his journey from a gulag in Siberia across Asia and India to freedom, all by foot, the journey is certainly epic.

Character development is slow but feels realistic by avoiding allowing the characters’ sense of camaraderie to grow too easily. The film makes its impact through a series of subtle yet striking scenes depicting the deaths of four of the escapees. In one of

these scenes one of the men is found frozen to death just metres away from the camp fire, doomed by his night blindness However the most exciting element of The Way Back are the beautiful locations, especially the scenes in Siberia. The isolated and beautiful scenery serves as an incredible atmosphere to the transformation of the escapees from civilised people to primeval caveman-like animals willing to do anything to survive. Although this may not quite do justice to the original voyage due to its length restrictions The Way Back is a refreshing and captivating tale of a fantastic bid for freedom.

MUSIC

Director:Peter Wier Release Date: 26/12/10

WIRED

Jack Black, the slimmer half of Tenacious D (it’s true!), reprises the idiot-cumprankster routine that we’ve seen increasingly since his attempt to do a serious role in 2005’s King Kong, in this comedy flick very loosely based on Jonathan Swift’s book of the same title.

The picture hangs together on a straightforward ‘boymeets-girl-and-bettershimself’ plot, though the main attraction is the star thumping his way through a variety of tiny villages. If you thought the regular Jack Black was irritating, just wait ‘til you see the supersize Black overshadowing

an entire community of islanders, whilst burping out taglines like “President the awesome!”

Even if you’re not Black’s biggest fan, the main problem with the film is the script, which even considering it’s supposed to be a silly, child-friendly picture, isn’t tight enough – pretty much all of Swift’s commentary and satire is lost in favour of the standard big-crash-wallop-smackfart-joke routine.

Not being true to Swift’s vision isn’t in itself a major crime though, and not every scene fails – the odd movie spoof does work – but these are workmanlike in-jokes, and the film could have done with less stardust and more suspense.

the shore. Instead you are treated to many creative piranha wounds; look out for the girl being carried to shore between two guys.

Fully enjoying the Jaws parody there is a moment early on in the film where the sheriff considers ‘closing the lake.’ You’ll be pleased she didn’t.

Piranha acts as a tribute to the B movies of old and fully embraces the pure silliness of its plot.

Kate Allen

Tim (Paul Rudd, Role Models, I love You, Man) is an executive at a financial firm who gets invited to a ‘dinner for schmucks’ (literally a dinner for idiots).

The catch is he has to bring along a loony guest in order to get some recognition and a promotion on his job. He befriends Barry (Steve Carell) and convinces him to be a guest at the dinner while putting his love interest on the line, resulting in a series of unfortunate events.

Probably the worst ‘comedy’ released this year, Dinner for Schmucks sacrifices every comical

opportunity for screwball excess. The outcome is painfully unfunny at best and irritating at worst.

Watching the film you can’t help but wonder what’s worse - the acting or the plot? The only time a laugh is somewhat induced is when confusion abounds during the dinner, at the height of the story. However, as with this remake, Hollywood ends up presenting the story in a disjointed manner that is neither understandable

nor humorous to the viewer.

Comedies (or screwball comedies) are not meant to be confusing and uncomfortable; they’re meant to be seasoned enough to produce laughter and enjoyment. Don’t bother investing your money in this film for your DVD collection; you won’t even watch it through before removing the DVD from your player and disposing of it!

Lathaniel Dyer

CREATIVE WRITINg

Steph McKenna

Director: Rob Letterman Release Date: 26/12/10

ARTS

As far as Christmas films go, Rare Exports is a bizarre and unpredictable treat. Born from the cult success of two online shorts by director Jalmari Helander, Finland’s highly anticipated present this holiday comes wrapped in a dark and enchanting fusion of fairytale, horror, and black comedy that definitely isn’t suitable for all the family.

On December 24th, an excavation team in the Korvatunturi Mountains unearth something old and deeply powerful from underground. Soon a local community find their livelihood destroyed and their naughty children

missing. It’s left up to little bookwise Pietari and his father to save the day, strengthening their fatherson bonds and clinching an usual financial deal in the process.

Walking a fine line between the disturbing and outright ridiculous (whoever wrote the English dub clearly had too much eggnog), Rare Exports keeps tensions high for a tight 82 minutes with slaughtered reindeer, evil elves and a mythical, horned St. Nick.

It’s a shame to see this impact lapse a little in the final moments, but at least there’s a suitably wholesome Christmas ending to guarantee this film as a staple festive feature for years to come.

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Dir: Jalmari Helander Release Date: 3/12/10

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concrete.film@uea.ac.uk

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COMEDY FILM MUSIC WIRED tV CREATIVE WRITINg ARTS fASHION

concrete.film@uea.ac.uk While 2010 wasn’t a spectacular year for film, 2011: The Sequel appears a lot more

Up and Coming...

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1) The return of Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides sees Johnny Depp reprise his role as Captain Jack Sparrow. Audiences will be glad to know that Penelope Cruz stars alongside Depp in what is said to be the most exciting film yet in the series.

Everyone can look forward

to this film since we all know the Pirates films never fail us. Depp is an amazing thespian and one of few Hollywood stars that masks himself convincingly behind the character he plays.

2) Michael Bay returns with his third film in the series, Tranformers: Dark Moon. More robot action

promising. mayhem, saving the planet and lovelife problems are in store for Shia LaBoeuf, who returns as Sam Witwicky.

The upcoming film promises to be a commercial success (no doubt) and though the sequel (Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen) amassed over $800m worldwide, it was a failure with critics.

It will be interesting to see how this episode fairs in the series so far.

3) Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 – the final part of the seventh instalment in the series sees Harry (Daniel Radcliffe) Ron (Rupert Grint) and Hermione (Emma Watson) frantically race against time

Talking Movies The Good, The Bad And The Ugly. Once Upon A Time In The West. Once Upon A Time In America. These are the names of three of some of the most famous and greatest films of all time.

Follow this with a simple name. Sergio Leone. Does it ring any bells? It is not a name with as much fame as Steven Spielberg, Peter Jackson or Martin Scorsese, yet it is the name of one of the greatest and most eccentric directors. These three film titles listed above are the sole product of this truly great mind.

The Good, The Bad And

The Ugly and Once Upon A Time In The West most conclusively show how magnificent a director Leone was. Here was an Italian with a mostly Italian and Spanish cast, filming in Spain, taking the all-American Western which up until then had been dominated by the likes of John Ford and John Wayne, and creating the two greatest films of the entire genre and perhaps even be the only two that are truly remembered by the public today. Let’s face it, apart from Americans and fans of Westerns how many people have heard

It appears Sam Worthington will ride the CGI gravy train for as long as he can. The Clash of the Titans remake nonsense script was welded together by various Greek mythologies bursting out of the 3D screen and Gemma Arterton demi-goddess good looks. Empathy with any of the characters was impossible, especially in Worthington deliverance of one of the most embarrassing inspiration speeches of cinema. Well at least the cast of the Skins haven’t joined the job-

seekers queue yet.

Robin Hood

The 2010 epic which sought to correct historical misconceptions about our favourite hero in tights was like a nagging overproduced QI. Russell Crowe failed on pinning down an authentic

to stop Lord Voldermort (Ralph Fiennes) – by locating and destroying the remainder Horcruxes. Fans will be kept on the edge of their seat in this series finale which brings the franchise to a close after a decade!

4) Scream 4 – after 11 odd years Neve Campbell steps back into her role as Sidney Prescott, the girl infamously haunted by ghostface killers. Its 2011 though, the catch?

It is a new decade which means new rules, with a new killer on the loose.

Hold your breaths and prepare for more tension, drama, slashing and slaying.

Courteney Cox Arquette also returns as the

overbearing journalist Gale Weathers and close friend and Sheriff Dewey Riley (David Arquette) co-star.

6) Spy Kids –This may be a definite no no for readers but it has to be included since many may like Spy

5) Tom Cruise is cruising across our cinema screens at the end of 2011 with Brad Bird’s (The Incredibles) direction of Mission:Impossible – Ghost Protocol. Cruise returns as agent Ethan Hunt to track down terrorists and maintain justice.

Kids - about 7 years ago. Juni (Daryl Sabara) and Carmen (Alexa Vega) are back to aid in more espionage and they’ve grown up in the process! The fourth action adventure also sees Jessica Alba join the Spy Kids ensemble.

This issue ALEX DOBRIK looks at the legacy of the legend that was Sergio Leone and why this maverick changed the spaghetti western forever...

of The Big Country, or The Searchers? Sixteen years after the release of Once Upon A Time In The West, in 1984, Once Upon A Time In America was released at the Cannes Film Festival and, after a staggering 229 minutes, the audience as one rose and, according to one reviewer, received

The Popcorn Chart Clash of the Titans

Lathaniel Dyer lists what we are to expect from Hollywood and beyond ...

portrayal of Robin Longstride as his accent skirted from Yorkshire, to Lancashire, to Ireland.

While the effortlessly stoic Elizabeth I was resurrected in Cate Blanchet’s rendition of Maid Marian.

Both Oscar sporting actors appeared to be in films of their own, bugger the rest of the cast.

No sexual chemistry, no comedy, no fun for over two hours.

Transformers II

Megan Fox running. That’s all this film had to boast. So

a fifteen minute standing ovation. Such actions speak for themselves.

Through the Dollars Trilogy, of which The Good, The Bad And The Ugly is the final part, Leone turned a simple TV actor into a global superstar who, ever since has both starred in, and directed a horde of great movies and

still to this day is regarded as a true Hollywood legend; Clint Eastwood. It was Leone who took Eastwood from relative obscurity and turned him into a superstar, and even after his death in 1989, Leone’s influence over Eastwood could still be seen, dedicating The Unforgiven (one of Eastwood’s best films) to him. Through each film that Eastwood made, Leone’s influence still guided him. Even in his latest film, Gran Torino, Clint Eastwood’s character is merely a manifestation of the character he first played under Leone; the tough,

grizzled loner with a kind heart.

The true testament to Leone’s greatness comes mostly, not through his great movies, but from the fact that he worked on only ten films during his life, directly directing only seven of them, Leone’s success record is greater than even Spielberg’s or Scorsese’s. It is here that the greatness of Sergio Leone becomes abundantly clear and even though his death 22 years ago, his legacy lives on through the brilliance of his films .

Don’t want to waste hours of your life? This issue Catherine Watts gives a run down of five films you should not waste your money on... from those of us who aren’t hormone -driven boys that like to play with gadgets alone in their rooms, can we have something a bit more entertaining for our cinema ticket please?

face’ Knightley and Bloom was dragged for every out penny. How the producers of highest grossing

Pirates of the Caribbean Sequels The familiar cast returned with more brainless fun, confused island hopping narratives, and blandness all around, Jack Sparrow excepted. The tedious plot ploy of ‘will they won’t they’ between Keira ‘piranha-fish

turkeys of all time live with themselves? Shameless.

The Last Airbender

The latest produce from M. Night Shyamalan depicted bender nation of fire and

water warpers struggling for control of their world.

The centre character, Aang, awkwardly named the Avatar, delivers a performance that would merit a bitch-slap from the Dalai Lama. While the rest of the cast consists of Mickey Mouse Club rejects donning bed sheets practicing taichi. Highlights include Katara, a precocious water bender, telling Aang to keep his wrist limp while they dance to the backdrop of computer generated glaciers . What happened Shyamalan, seriously?

18jan11 ISSUE 250

concrete.music@uea.ac.uk concrete.creativewriting@uea.ac.uk

Peter Hayes vs. Liz Jackson

A lot of bands share that similar vision of writing and music because they love it, and at the same time there is the wider hope that someone enjoys what they’re writing.

COMEDY FILM

To end with, if you had to sum up the band in three words to someone who’s never heard your music, how would you describe BRMC? The only way I describe it is psychedelic rock and roll.

That’s four words, if the ‘and’ is part of it. Psychedelic rock, and the roll is the most important part, it really is. There’s plenty of rock out there, but people gotta remember the…the good bit. The roll, that’s the sex bit [laughs]… anyway, I shouldn’t have to explain it, if you know roll you either get it or you don’t.

MUSIC

No, not really. People are people, you know? I mean, as a culture, yeah… kinda, sorta a little bit. People are a bit more free over here to be, uh…[laughs] I dunno, don’t take this the wrong way, but…people are more free to be an idiot.

They have fun, as far as…having a drink, having a good fucking time. In the States it’s a bit more reserved, it’s still got this Quaker bullshit thing where, you know, you’re embarrassed to drink. Which is silly…you always gotta keep yourself in control somehow. That’s not everywhere; it’s not always. But it’s a little bit more free

Yeah, it’s all similar themes: love, death, god…that’s about it [laughs]. Even the recording style has been the same since day one, the way we put ourselves in the closet for 6 months and just write.

Along the way, you start getting a little paranoid that you’re repeating yourself, you know, with the sound. But it’s just music. It’s nothing…I got no shame with being satisfied with guitars, and drums, and bass, and vocal. It doesn’t have to be all tricked up with something that’s all fantastically new. I’ve yet to hear it. Sound or not, I’m not particularly interested in a particular sound, I’m just trying to write a good song, you know? No matter what; on acoustic guitar, on piano, on electric guitar. That’s all that really matters at the end of the day. And the hope is that it touches somebody and gives someone just something, you know?

Peter Hayes in a rare, candid moment. In case you didn’t guess, he’s pretty rock and roll...

WIRED

Would you say there is anything different about touring in the UK to touring in the US, maybe in the fans?

Do you think your latest album is a long way from your early work or do you deal with similar themes that still resemble BRMC at heart?

I think, art comes from a place of want.

And at its best that want is just to connect with humanity: at its best on a deep level. At its worst on a bullshit level. And there’s plenty of that [laughs]. But yeah, I dunno, maybe I’m being too harsh, maybe that level isn’t necessarily bullshit, it’s just different. I can’t throw it away as bullshit, I shouldn’t do that. And… it’s all valid. Kind of. [Laughs]

tV

We’ve really been doing it since day one, you know, we’ve been producing ourselves. And you know, first record, a lot of that stuff was done in our living room really. So…no big change really, you know, it’s the same stresses even though we were on a major label, and we get the same shit.

They were wanting to drop us because it didn’t sound the way they wanted it to sound. Well we don’t have to worry about that too much now [laughs].

over here for that kinda fun. A little less ashamed of being a fool.

Gig Report by Liz Jackson, 09/12/10 If the response of the crowd was the sole means to gauge a gig by then the recent show by BRMC would go down as legendary.

Entering the stage in mysterious pitch-black they opened with the classic 666

Conducer, making it known that they weren’t simply scattering a few chords but were about to blow the minds of everyone in the building like a six barrel shotgun.

BRMC’s mastery over their craft is simply awe-inspiring, as was the energy they put into the entire two hour set; remarkable considering this was another night in the 149-date tour. Songs like High/Low brought tear-inducing distortion that felt like BRMC were breaking the walls of sound and burning down everything in their paths.

Conversely, acoustic interludes were executed in such a profoundly fragile way that the piano keys could have crumbled from underneath Robert

Been’s hands as he played Promise.

This was not just a set list that had been arranged for a mix of the heavily-fretted psych-rock of Red Eyes and Tears, Whatever Happened and Conscience Killer.

Nor was it reliant o n the

down-beat Americana of Beat the Devil’s Tattoo and Ain’t No Easy Way; the band were in control of every riff, every pause and every shockwave that they forced out of their guitars and in the relentless thump of the drums. Everything built up into an overpowering trip, from the intonation of the band’s drawling denunciations to the bleeding, raw energy in Peter Hayes’ bass.

It felt like they had taken every song from their entire career and put it into one continuous and universal primal howl.

Even by the close of the second encore of Shadow’s Keeper the audience were hanging on every post-apocalyptic, resounding note that composed a powerful farewell as these prophetic rebels brought their truth in an explosion of sound and then receded into the darkness from which they came.

Watching it was being part of an eyeopening, psychedelic,mind-distorting experience that can’t even be expressed fully in words. That’s why they put it into music.

CREATIVE WRITINg

You have been releasing your own albums on and off since you left your old label back in 2004. How are you finding the creative freedom?

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Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

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BRMC:

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concrete.music@uea.ac.uk

New Year’s Resolutions Name: Kings of Leon

Rose Clark Says ‘Man Up’ temperaments, trendy haircuts and a wardrobe of grey clothes. They stropped their way through Reading Festival 2009 and their new album Come Around Sundown has as much electricity as an energy saving light bulb.

This has to stop. 2011 must bring back the kind of music seen in Aha Shake Heartbreak, effusing Deep South tension with heavy, melodic riffs, songs that haunt your eardrums for hours after listening. They must leave their celebrity lifestyles and model girlfriends, do an Arctic Monkeys and head into the desert to be whipped into shape by Josh Homme.

Failing that, perhaps a spell roughing it in

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the wilderness with Bear Grylls would do the trick.

One final, and very important point, never, ever make a music video like Radioactive again. Dancing around with children, spraying them with hoses, teaching them how to fish; quite possibly the cringeiest music video ever produced that wasn’t for charity. Burn every copy ever made, take it off online, sack everyone involved, pay the children damages.

If Kings have any chance of a clean start, they must wipe vacuous, cheesy videos like this off the face of the earth and start again, as hairy, whiskey drinking men.

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This is what men look like...

First things first, bring back the hair. The untameable mops that obscured the young Kings’ faces, with heavy beards to match, marked a lot that was right about their early years.

This may sound trivial, but their awesome appearance signified a few things: an indifference to fashions of the time, their heavy rock influence and their status as proper men. Men who wouldn’t have cared if bird excrement covered them on stage (as it did during their 2010 tour, causing them to cancel the St Louis gig after three songs.) In fact, we like to

think that the Kings of Leon of the past, rugged appearance and all, would’ve done the same as a caveman with musical talent and good aim would have done, caught the birds with a swing of his guitar and let the show go on.

And herein lies the main resolution for the Kings of Leon: gentlemen, man up.

After three amazing, brawny, testosterone rich albums, Only By The Night marked a new era. Sex On Fire was played at the end of Mercy nights for months, a sure sign that they were doing something wrong. Success brought new

Name: Daytime Radio 1 New Year’s resolutions shouldn’t usually be taken too seriously. They’re like saying you’ll never drink again mid-hangover or promising to scrap tuition fees before an election. They don’t last. Sadly, the same was true for the ‘daytime takeover’ at Radio 1. For the first week of 2011, and for one week only, the Radio 1 daytime schedule was run by night-time DJs, reminding us that change can be a good thing.

At present, Radio 1 operates a restrictive playlist system. Every week a team of musically minded boffins assemble to decide which songs will gain regular rotation on daytime shows. If a track makes the A-list, it can expect to receive around twenty plays a week and can stay on one list or another for up to two months. Night-time DJs are exempt, bringing individual tastes to the takeover, not just the repetitive commercial playlist.

Radio 1 has a tendency to revolve around the chart, but why should it? The number one single for any given week can be heard everywhere. With eleven million listeners a week, should the station not be opting for a more well rounded, all inclusive approach to

...this is what Topmen look like.

Chris Corby Says ‘Scrap the Playlist’

its schedule? Why is it that any track deemed ‘alternative’ is banished to the later hours?

The daytime takeover gave a glimpse of the station that Radio 1 should be: the best music, regardless of chart success. Its purpose is to attract the 15-29 demographic with new music, but ‘new’ should not always be confused with ‘good’. Radio 1 concentrates too heavily on what is popular that day, the playlist always highlights this.

Some of the best artists have been and gone. Almost 25 years have passed since The Smiths but is there not three minutes in the full three hour Chris Moyles Show to find room for them? Zane Lowe did.

This is why the daytime takeover was a blessing. With Lowe exchanging Moyles and Mac replacing Cotton, listeners were gifted with unusual musical gems that would never have gained airtime otherwise. Without straying too far from message, specialist DJs proved that the playlist is an unnecessary barrier that restricts good music from being broadcast.

Chinese New Year is February 3rd, who’s for a repeat?

Still, at least they don’t let this man loose in the mornings... Oh, wait...

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NAME: LIAM GALLAGHER Oi! Liam! We all know how much you love to brag at the annual Gallagher Christmas brawl about all the cigarettes, alcohol and coke that you’ve been snorting off some cheap hooker’s arse and how MASSIVE all your choons are, but we all really think you should give up the post 90’s Oasis charade and grow up. Think about it, you’re just getting older, roll with it.

While you might have slipped inside the beady eye of your mind for long enough to decide to stop flogging the dead horse that Oasis had become, continuing your age old feud with your brother in just about every press outlet that you can get hold of (You’d slag him off in Concrete if you had half the chance) is getting a bit irksome. Face it, Noel wrote all of the good music anyway.

It’s not that we aren’t still all scared of you, but Beady Eye is a properly weak name for a properly weak band. If we The purchase of Michael Bolton’s Greatest Hits (1985-1995) has clearly made Noel a happy bunny.

See, that’s how you embrace middle age, Liam...

wanted to listen to second rate John Lennon revivalism, then we’d just put on a cack John Lennon album. What’s more, John Lennon, even at his mid-seventies worst, would never have launched an overpriced clothing line of t-shirts that Topman wouldn’t wipe their arses with.

That’s hardly what your faithful Mancunian militia have been crying out for in the years since Be Here Now found its way into the bargain bins of history, is it?

Yes Liam, for many of us you were the snarling voice of a generation, but that time, we’re afraid,

WE ALL SAY ‘GROW UP’ has come to an end. Plus, with Man City’s new executive boxes catering for exactly the type of overpaid, middle-aged oik that you’ve become, you’ve got something to do with your weekends; take a page out of your own book, save some shred of dignity and embrace the importance of being idle.

THE ELOQUENCE OF LIAM GALLAGHER “It’s a good thing we won, because we were going to thrash the place if we didn’t.”

“I f***ing hate Glastonbury, mate. I’m only here for the money.”

“I suppose I do get sad, but not for too long. I just look in the mirror and go, ‘What a goodlooking f*** you are.”

“F*** that. What’s the point?

The bands are all s***, aren’t they? Go out to socialise and have some student stand on your f***ing shoes?”

LISTINGS COMEDY FILM

While the Grammys are lovely Rob, we liked the floral shirts better...

MUSIC

never have released Sgt. Peppers, Iggy Pop should never have smeared his chest with peanut butter on stage; that doesn’t mean it didn’t bloody work!

Besides, its 2011 for god’s sake. Isn’t 60 supposed to be the new 30 or something? If nothing else, you could be an inspiration to middle aged men (and Venue editors) the world over.

Robert Plant’s New Year’s resolution should be to learn to age disgracefully. Bring back the leather trousers, the floral shirts and the chest beating, “golden god” frontman antics. We’re not going to think less of you for it Rob, we promise. After all, we wouldn’t want you to go gently into the good night when you’ve still got a ‘whole lotta love’ to give.

WIRED

After all, a geriatric Zeppelin farting around on stage in 2011 with all the energy of a modern day Mick Jagger sans respirator probably wouldn’t endear to their longstanding reputation as the masters of hard and heavy.

That doesn’t mean that we here at Venue like it though. Yes, Plant is speaking with all of the world weary logic that an elder statesman should.

Yes, it’s time for Jimmy Page to stop hiding behind past glories and bring out that long rumoured solo album. But since when was rock and roll ever about doing what you’re supposed to?

The Beatles should

tV

They say that all good things must come to an end. It’s a sentiment that Robert Plant shares, which is a bit of a bugger really. The former Led Zeppelin front-man’s recent comments in Rolling Stone magazine that equate reuniting with his old band mates to “a pain in the pisser” have pretty much definitively quashed any lingering hope that the group’s oneoff O2 gig back in 2007 wouldn’t be their swan song. To be honest, Planty is probably right.

ALEC PLOWMAN SAYS ‘REFORM’

CREATIVE WRITINg

NAME: LED ZEPPELIN

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APPARENTLY OUR FAVOURITE ARTISTS DIDN’T READ THE ‘MOST DISAPPOINTING ALBUMS’ FEATURE WE RAN IN ISSUE #2 AND HAVE CONTINUED TO MAKE FOOLISH DECISIONS, WE ALL HOPE THEY FINALLY COME TO THEIR SENSES IN 2011 AND FOLLOW THE RESOLUTIONS VENUE HAS SUGGESTED...

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concrete.music@uea.ac.uk concrete.creativewriting@uea.ac.uk

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“It was 20 19 years ago today”: 250 issues of Concrete Music

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Looking Back...

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Music journo genius John Peel gets stuck in to Concrete’s 50th issue back in 1995. He loved Norwich, so should you.

So, as you should have read in the Features section, this issue is the 250th instalment of Concrete! We thought it would be appropriate then to take some time to look back across the nineteen illustrious years to the first few issues of your wonderful student paper.

Now, University news may have come and gone, local events have taken place and Norwich sport has waxed and waned but it can’t be denied that musically, Norwich has remained one of the most exciting places to be a student since that distant year of 1992.

Take the picture left into consideration; the all reigning master of music and much missed king of the airwaves Sir John Peel reading the 50th issue of our paper. Then think back to Freshers’ week, who was it that came and DJ’d at UEA, oh yeah it was Zane Lowe, Mr Peel’s prodigal son. Which other Universities can quite comfortably claim a musical heritage as rich as our apparently isolated campus? Not many that’s who!

In the first ever issue of Concrete, music took up a quarter of the front page.

A full double spread sporting the headline “From Hickstown to Hitstown” brought in

Gig night at the Waterfront. They don’t queue like that in King’s Lynn... the news that the Waterfront was to host by the UEA Student Union as an important Sound City ‘92; the first ever Radio 1 week site of local culture, but that man John long live broadcast, airing 7 different bands Peel popped up again and, removing any on 7 different nights across the nation. doubt from the years before, firmly placed This was a record breaking achievement Norwich on the musical map. “Norwich and the implications were huge. Not only will echo to the rhythms of Sound City ’92” was the Waterfront, which hit financial is what he said. Too bloody right is what turmoil in 1993 (credit Beth Wyatt), saved we say.

Senior Resident Vacancies An exciting new development to enhance the experience of students living in UEA residences

Building on the best features of the Resident Tutor system, the Dean of Students’ Office will be introducing new arrangements for enhancing the experience of students in UEA residences in September 2011. The Dean of Students’ Office is now seeking to recruit enthusiastic, mature and capable people to form the new Senior Resident team.

Senior Residents will play a key role in the welcome and induction of new students and support their transition to university life. Working closely with staff in the Dean of Students’ Office, they will deliver high quality advice, guidance and support to students living in residences and facilitate the development of a well-integrated residential community.

During teaching periods, Senior Residents will provide a duty system which guarantees that residents can access help and support out of hours and at weekends; more limited cover is provided during vacations.

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Senior Residents will be provided with rent-free, self-contained accommodation and will receive comprehensive induction and in-service training. The role will be both challenging and rewarding, and represents an excellent personal and professional development opportunity.

Applicants must, in September 2011, be registered at UEA either as a full-time student or, if part-time, be registered on a degree program for at least 50% of full-time.

Application packs are available from the Dean of Students’ Office or can be downloaded from www.uea.ac.uk/services/students/Accomm/SR.

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Senior Resident appointments are subject to a criminal record check from the Criminal Records Bureau.

Deadline for applications: Friday 4 February 2011

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YOUR GUIDE TO WHAT’S GOING ON IN NORWICH

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concrete.creativewriting@uea.ac.uk concrete.listings@uea.ac.uk

18jan11 ISSUE 250

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LCR’s.

In fitting with the annual UEA Charity Week, a Charity Shop LCR has been arranged for the 15th of March. The aim of this theme is to construct an entire outfit, exclusively from buys from a charity shop. Prizes will be awarded for the best attempts at creating an outfit.

A conversely controversial theme, previously banned by the University but back by popular demand is the infamous Pimps N Ho’s. Ladies, think “Jodie Marsh” and you’ll be heading in the right direction.

Gentlemen, dust off your purple velvet jackets and polish your grills, nothing is too much for this theme!

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anything from Harry to Hedwig, Snape to the Sorting Hat or Neville to a Nimbus 2000, this theme really does allow for the more imaginative of you to show us your skills.

For any reader who does not share this writer’s passion for all things magical, then one of the other new themes this term might suit the pallet. After a poll was conducted on the social networking sight Facebook, giving students the chance to vote for which theme they would like the most on the Spring Term calendar. Some suggestions were “Anything But Clothes”, “Traffic Lights” and “Pub Names”, but the runaway winner, scheduled to take place on Tuesday 29th of March is the all new Masquerade LCR. Mysterious and glamorous, this theme calls for masks and your best outfits; a refreshing change from the usual carnage of Tuesday

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As we find ourselves at the beginning of a New Year, it would only be fitting to see some fresh new themes on our Tuesday night LCR calendar, intermingle with some old favourites; so Venue will be giving its readers a low down of the exciting themes coming this Spring term.

Possibly the most exciting theme of the term, worthy of first mention would be the event taking place on Tuesday 15th of February: A Night at Hogwarts. No, your eyes do not deceive you, the genius’ at The Union have dedicated one whole night to the revolution that is Harry Potter. Wands at the ready, it’s time to don your finest robes, fill your glass with Butterbeer and pretend, for one night only, that everyone doesn’t dislike Emma Watson quite a lot. With countless costumes idea to choose from;

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THE NEW YEAR BRINGS NEW THEMES TO THE LCR

Georgina Wade

Will the LCR put a spell on you this semester?

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1: Fennel like herb (4) 3: Bitterness of nature (9) 9: Ill will (7) 10: Unit of heat (5) 11: Omit too much detail (12) 13: Infected (6) 15: Perplexing puzzle (6) 17: Murderous (12) 20: Spore-producing plants (5) 21: Scruffy youngsters (7) 22: Sergeant (anagram) (8) 23: Goes (anagram) (4)

1: Rodent (8) 2: Weapon (5) 4: Plate with metal (6) 5: News (12) 6: Too well nourished (7) 7: Sweet potatoes (4) 8: Empowered to enact (12) 12: Population counts (8) 14: Cornmeal mush (7) 16: Shove (6) 18: Due to someone (5) 19:From a distance (4)

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Win English alternative rockers White Lies will be playing the LCR on the 6th of February. With lyrics that ache with unsettling intensity and dramatic, sodomizing guitar riffs, they have rightfully earned their place in the pantheon of contemporary indie bands. During their infamous live performances the crowd unite beneath a banner of sperm and sweat, connecting like some mad daisy-chain of excess to dance beneath a cascading kaleidoscope of their own bodily fluids. For a chance of winning a pair of tickets to this orgiastic musical experience, just bring your completed crossword to the Concrete Office by 3pm on 04/02/11.

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