Concrete - Issue 269 - 01/05/2012 by Concrete - the official student newspaper of UEA.

Issue 269 | Tuesday 1 May 2012 | Fortnightly | Free

UEA’s Independent Student Newspaper

On concrete-online.co.uk this fortnight: Features | The US Presidential election begins to take shape Film | Review of American Pie: The Reunion Sport | How the Canaries survived their return to the top flight

Men’s Rugby Union ban upheld Hannah Britt | News reporter Despite an emotional appeal, the ban of the Men’s Rugby team by the Union will be upheld in the 2012-13 academic year. On Monday 23 April, representatives from UEA Men’s Rugby went to an emergency Union Council session in order to appeal against the one year ban. Despite the club’s claim that they were bringing “new evidence to the table,” Men’s Rugby lost the appeal. Union Council only just made quorum, with 28

of 41 voting members supporting the decision to disband the club, and thus UEA Men’s Rugby will not exist, unless they succeed with an appeal to the University. The punishment of UEA Men’s Rugby was initially given after complaints of both racism and sexism. One of the complaints was that the team offended a member of UEA Hockey, a girl of German nationality, when they took part in an offensive chant named “10 German Bombers.” The allegations came after

a social with the theme of “bad taste.” During the social, team members dressed up as controversial figures such as Joseph Kony and Baby P. Driver, speaking on the subject of the social, concluded that: “In hindsight, we can now see that this was a mistake, however, it was definitely not meant to offend anybody.” The national interest in their story spiralled, ending up on the websites of the BBC, The Sun, The Mirror and The Mail. The allegations even made it as far as the News Track India website.

The aforementioned offences, along with a previous incident such as damage to a hotel in 2011, were brought back under scrutiny at Union Council. However, the process took a dramatic turn, as Men’s Rugby blasted the Union officers for their “unprofessional” attitude towards the appeal and criticised the lack of investigation into the complaints, points which have been raised by students on the Concrete website. Continued on page five

Chancellor Sir Brandon Gough dies Concrete regretfully reports that the Chancellor of the University passed away last Thursday (April 26). Sir Brandon Gough, who had served as Chancellor since October 2003, died unexpectedly at the age of 74. The UEA flag was flown at half mast on the day of his death as a mark of respect, with the University and the Union of UEA Students expected to organise an

event to pay tribute to the late Chancellor after his near-decade tenure. Union Communications officer, Matthew Myles, said: “Sir Brandon and Lady Gough’s visits to the Union were always greatly received and appreciated by officers and staff. “We offer Lady Gough the deepest sympathies on behalf of all staff and members of the Union.” To read more, turn to page three

Max Hetherington

Laura Smith

NEWS | P3 TRAVEL | P10 FEATURES | P12-13 Library takes tough stance on Concrete takes a gamble and travels We round off a year in UEA news, disruptive and selfish students to “Sin City” itself, Las Vegas with the biggest stories of 2011-12

SPORT | P21 UEA Angels top the tables among the University’s sports clubs

Greg Mann

Mark Shead | News reporter

www.concrete-online.co.uk

NEWS

facebook.com/ConcreteNewspaper concrete.news@uea.ac.uk @Concrete_UEA

Tuesday 1 May 2012 - Issue 269

TWEETS TO CONCRETE THE EDITOR’S COLUMN

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Surprised the Union rejected the appeal, admirable they’re sticking to their guns, but not sure I approve of the decision @Concrete_UEA. @laurenjanecope @Concrete_UEA I massively enjoyed my time as Sports Editor, 2001-03, and encourage anyone thinking about it to join the newsroom! @athorpey

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@Concrete_UEA new digital security measures imposed by IT on users of portable devices are very invasive, & I’m not sure students are aware. @andrewrushby

@Concrete_UEA definitely not true [that Rugby knew about previous complaints] the Union hasnt even given details on half of the complaints. @pipscott1990

Got a story? concrete.news@uea.ac.uk

Editorial inquiries / complaints concrete.editor@uea.ac.uk concrete.event@uea.ac.uk

Website(s) www.concrete-online.co.uk concblog.wordpress.com

Telephone 01603 593 466

Concrete welcomes all letters and emails, so please don’t hesitate to get in touch. Letters should be addressed for the attention of the editor-in-chief, and include contact details. All emails should be sent to concrete.editor@uea.ac.uk. We will consider anonymous publication, and reserve the right to edit for length and clarity as necessary. Anonymous article submissions are permitted. Opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the newspaper. No part of this newspaper may be reproduced through any means without the express permission of the editor, Chris King. Published by UUEAS Concrete Society ©2011 Concrete BMc ISSN 1351-2773

EDITORIAL Editor-in-chief | Chris King concrete.editor@uea.ac.uk Deputy | Hannah Britt concrete.deputyeditor@uea.ac.uk News | James Dixon / Susanna Wood concrete.news@uea.ac.uk Comment | Joshua Resoun concrete.comment@uea.ac.uk Travel | Greg Lewry concrete.travel@uea.ac.uk Features | Billy Sexton concrete.features@uea.ac.uk International | Rachael Lum ueaconcreteinternational@gmail.com Lifestyle | Hasina Allen / Rianne Ison concrete.lifestyle@uea.ac.uk Turf | Becky Hazlewood concrete.turf@uea.ac.uk Sport | Matt Scrafton / Chris Teale concrete.sport@hotmail.co.uk concrete.sport@uea.ac.uk Copy | Amy Adams / Harry Slater concretecopyeditors@gmail.com Chief Photographer | Laura Smith Deputy Chief | Harriet Jones concrete.photographers@uea.ac.uk

CONTRIBUTORS News | Hannah Britt, Mark Shead, Adam Plom, Beth Wyatt, Meg Evans, Sophie Witts, Arwa Abdel-Aal, Susanna Wood, Chris Teale, Joshua Resoun, James Dixon, Richard Laverick, Francis Mckeown Comment | Joshua Resoun, Robert Laird, Adrian Ramsay, George Hamilton-Jones, Tim Rose Travel | Chris King, Cameron Tucker, Kate Marks Features | Billy Sexton, Susanna Wood International | Robert Norris, Isabelle Carty Lifestyle | Emma Williamson, Alex Valentine, Chris Teale, Hasina Allen, Harry Slater, Becky Hazlewood, Jessica Ball, Rianne Ison, Chris King Turf | Chris King, Benjamin Brown Sport | Chris Teale, Adam Plom, Matt Scrafton, John Harris, Liam Newson, Tom Shaw, Billy Sexton Proofreaders | Amy Adams, Harry Slater, Sidonie Chaffer-Melly, Charlotte Cox, Harriet Smith

So here goes, my last ever column as Concrete editor-in-chief. I should say something profound, shouldn’t I? First off, I’d like to thank all the people I’ve had the pleasure of working with this year. The paper’s come on leaps and bounds over the past nine months, and despite the turmoil of January, we soldiered on and continued to produce a high quality newspaper. We’ve had some great stories this year: Coldplay selling out our very own “shitty little box” of an LCR; the School of Music being closed; the Men’s Rugby club ban and the national media frenzy that followed, as well as our very own sex survey, which certainly ruffled a few feathers, so to speak. Unless you’re in this office on a

A MESSAGE FROM THE LOCAL POLICE FORCE Police in Norwich are urging students to be vigilant following a burglary at the University of East Anglia (UEA). The incident happened between 11am on Monday 2 April and 6pm on Friday 6 April when suspect(s) reached through an open window of a room in the Norfolk Terrace and stole a black Linea handbag from a desk which contained a bus pass, travel card and make-up. Det Con Sophie Getley, from Norwich CID, said: “We have seen a recent increase in burglaries at student accommodation in the West Earlham area and I would like to remind people about the importance of keeping doors and windows locked when they leave their accommodation, even if it’s only for a short time.” Anyone with information about the incident should contact DC Getley on 101 and further crime prevention advice is available at www.norfolk.police.uk. Laura Bagshaw Local News Officer Norfolk Constabulary

production weekend, you may not know how much work goes into Concrete. From the terrible playlists that are, until I reclaim my dignity, still on my Spotify account, to all the fun of covering Derby Day and the KAOS Fashion Show, I’ve loved this year. All our section editors, writers, and yes, even myself, stress over this, agonise whenever we see a spelling mistake, and genuinely try our best to write about what you want to hear. Concrete isn’t a closed book, far from it. Without our contributors, there wouldn’t be a paper. So keep this in mind as you leaf through the final offering from this editorial team, which I’ve been immensely proud of from that first week when we all took it upon ourselves to harass poor bemused freshers with copy after copy of Concrete. Next up will be the first issue for next year’s editor, Amy Adams, and her team. I would like to wish all of them the best of luck in this transitional year for Concrete. Keep an eye out on 15 May for their first issue. Chris King Editor-in-chief

INSIDE VENUE THIS ISSUE Creative Writing | p8-9

See who won Concrete’s first ever competition

Wired | p10

Venue takes a look at the biggest gaming successes of the past year

Arts | p15

A year of success for DanceSport, Drama and Comedy societies

CREATIVE WRITING

01.05.2012 concrete.creativewriting@uea.ac.uk

concrete short story competition we received an inundation of entries to concrete’s first ever short story

competition. the submissions showcased a variety of bizarre narrators,

adventurous writing and innovative forms. it was a very difficult decision for

the judging panel due to the exceptional talent displayed by uea’s undergraduate

writers.

but

I’m left with a sore mouth, lipstick caked in “ce qui est “Fuh-keen-Ay“”? globs under the base of my tongue; greasy, I reply: foreign; like some horrendous polyp or cyst. (Oslo?) “You know... like... Fuckin A!” and I The taste of chemicals makes me nauseous. move my hands to indicate. She slides off me and puts her underwear she says: on daintily, slipping away into the thronging “Ah. Mais Oui.” “…” (Mexico City?) mass outside.

the clear winner is sebastian major with his lightening-paced

We kiss for a while and it feels better than What. A. Riot. A throbbing gristle of people noise and good, the waft from her perfume crashing over me in an awesome and clement wave. colours so complex and repeating. Drink Pabst Blue Ribbon and smoke Camel Repeating. Repeating. Yellows. The room is made of a bright white Can slightly hear it now. Reportedly this has hunger that shines through a chink in the half saved my life on the streets. Slide cooly open drapes and nothing matters any more. downstairs, unseen through a crowd of I look shit in all my clothes, but you... you hipsters in tight shirts with itty-bitty waists look positively Italian. Even in an oft warn and teeny-weeny girlfriends, hair like a rats Barcelona FC kit. Bojan, Number 10, the one nest perched atop their heads. Tongue wet with the blue and red stripes. like a hound’s, lips dry like Tony Adams; now days anyway. Zoning in and out of focus as The smell and smoke of incense hangs heavy in the air,, a hazy fog that snuggles cosily my lungs fill with air. against my eyelids. ‘Killer in the Snow’ by ‘The Birds of Maya’ plays, layering it thick and smooth into my ears like a sheet of shellac, the nature of life football a cacophony of noise and psychedelic “You OK mate?” Feels like drowning in reverse. I stare blankly vibrations that tears a hole in my aching and habitual drug use as at faces that swim in and out of focus, my brain and takes me straight to Valhalla, the viewed through the lens of Crack wise with some guy who looks like me vision wet, soupy. A remix of the Beatles. kind of music that makes me want to fuck - who I don’t know - plus Thom Pernét - who Dubstep. Dubstep. More Dubstep, Drum and on the floor and break shit then curl up in I do- . Drink Pabst Blue Ribbon. Tastes like Bass, electro house, WitchHouse, A remix a ball. A blissful, cathartic mess, stuck in a dionysus uncle franky z drain water. Make jokes on Footballer’s names of an Elvis track, IDM, EDM, French House, post-coital explosion of ecstasy and absolute, violent satisfaction. This room reminds me - Didier Dogba, Shark Van-Bommel, Super- Minimalist Techno. frank zappa of you horribly - a discarded sock, a long Mario Götze - not watching the Football A beat, a quaver, a minim. forgotten earring found beneath the bed by sebastian jacob peter unless a goal goes in, then we celebrate like “I said, You OK mate?” it was Dionysus on the pitch, running himself Pepe Reina, and his imaginary best friend under an empty packet of cigarettes - but half naked and half asleep, it isn’t so bad. Like the ragged. I’m craving for something white, Fernando Torres, gone but not forgotten. major dainty, unwrapped innards of a birdcage, all crunchy and vibrant, exactly fucking nothing “Don’t look OK mate.” Recommended listening: anything that makes like the piss-poor imitations you’ll find in the Can’t remember the time or the date or even elegance with a brave sombreness, anything can be funny, comedic, exciting. The frames supermarket. Gum sticks to the roof of my who I am. Feels luxurious. your heart race and your pulse ache. that hold our fragile understanding together mouth and it’s arsenal 1-0 up but even now I “You want some of this J my nigga?” Reminded of something some hipcat named like silk tape: these are the tools to make stare blankly, darkly, at the television. Breathe in; deep and hard as I can. Pablo Biswell once said: “You always have people understand you. So you communicate My Guts hurt. to round up to the nearest whole wolf.” But via a lens smeared with Vaseline, a pen or a Coca-Kolo Toure. I don’t say anything, roll my head back like a pencil, blue tarpaulin covered in dog turds, Smells like the innards of beasts. Take a hefty sniff, become one with the smoggy haze Flung into the air by a guy twice my size. Tall, drunken bull and run my hands through my the pickled innards of a dead shark, the jewel encrusted skull. So when the shit eventually that envelops me. Staring at the ceiling, jaw strapping young lad, his breath rich, syrupy hair. hits the skids, as is it’s want, what difference slack, eyes heavy. Inhaling smoke. A babe, with booze, giving a herculean bear hug, eyes does it make? You meant something to wide with excitement, face pockmarked, and Breathe out; deep and hard as I can. comforted by his crib. someone. Someone framed you as more rough; the inside of a worn glove. He’s having My Guts Hurt. than a man: more than a simple, mechanical People ask: “You eating enough?/You sleeping such a good time and I’m fucking grinding enough?/You getting enough vitamin A, B, C D, and freaking on his buzz man, ecstatic to just Talking to a girl named Monique. (Or heartbeat next to some clunky shit wired E, Keratin, Serotonin, Diazapam, Temazepam, be near someone who feels how I wish I felt. was it Lisa?) Met in Paris (Or Barcelona or to your left ventricle. (I am not a doctor.). Amsterdam or Tangier or Bristol or London or This is real fuckin’ life. Shit just got (R)eal DMT, Caffeine, Nicotine, Marijuana, Vallium, (Madrid), and you passed with flying colours. Leeds or Valencia or...). Lithium Salts, Depakene, Ziprasidone, Eye Prawn-Wright Phillips. Reminded of something Thom Pernét once of Newt?” A Dostoevskyian nightmare on On a bed, getting kissed, Feeling a soft pair of I say: an industrial scale. This is the victory of the lips practically Sellotape themselves to mine. (Maxine?) “Yeah... So... whatever, I heard the said before we drank ourselves half to death west over communism. Now Russia can have The heat between us makes me gasp; rough new ‘Sea Bastard’ album is gonna be Fuckin’ on the pristine lawn outside his uncles house, A. It’s got kind of a New-wave/post-industrial ruining Petunias and missing the second half: all the modern western conveniences like and full of yearning. feel to it. Or something.” hard drug addiction, terminal boredom from Northen Sol Campbell. “Driving mate, it’s all in the hips. And Zidane She smiles, laughs and asks me: eternal unemployment and endless vistas Maicon the Greek. was better than Pele.” “ce qui est “Fuh-keen-Ay?“”? littered with the dead souls and spirits; void My guts hurt. of any hope or purpose in life , filling up with Her musk reminds me of “him.” I pause, I reply: And all of a sudden, there is a small calmness death, decay and desolation. Russian winters for longer than a heartbeat but shorter than (Reyann?) “Errr... what?” inside of me. a breath and then the moment passes and She asks: (More urgently this time) to the power of thousands. and striking monologue on the nature of life, football and habitual drug-

use as viewed through the lens of dionysus/uncle franky z/frank zappa

and second place goes to tom brooks for his intimate snapshot of familiar

modern history the life of friedhelm koehler by joseph göttschalk.

other highly commended stories include helena palmer’s untitled,

leo hunt’s the stranger, thomas castle’s to live as a beast, and matthew

mulcahy’s the mistake.

thanks to the judging panel; rebecca goodacre, laura westerman,

alex lambert, elizabeth robinson and christopher gden.

an internal monologue on

A friend of mine is having a shindig, a big one, which she assured me would be “very totally fucking Mexico” and everyone is going so I must go. I must go.

Feels like drowning in reverse.

WIRED

01.05.2012

concrete.wired@uea.ac.uk

the class of 2012

by adam riza As we near the end of this academic year, it is time for Wired to look back at the best games released during this time period, which many gamers here were probably playing instead of studying.

the elder scrolls v: skyrim

uncharted 3:

’

It would be impossible to create this list drake s deception without mentioning Skyrim, probably the The Uncharted series has become the main most talked about game of all of last year. reason to purchase a Playstation 3, with Simply put, this game is vast. There is the the first two games being fantastic Indiana main quest, which involves the player Jones inspired action games, and Naughty mass effect 3 having to slay the dragon god Aludin, but Dog have raised the bar once again. Players The Mass Effect series has been one of there is so much more to this open-world follow Nathan Drake through a variety of gaming’s great series this generation, and adventure, with there being five more quest- locations, including London, Paris, and Commander Shepard’s epic story has lines, a huge world to explore, dragons to the Rub’ al Khali desert, to find finally reached its conclusion in Mass slay, potions to conjure, and a ridiculous the legendary lost city of Effect 3, with it being the task of Shepard amount of miscellaneous quests to embark the Iram of the Pillars. The and his squad to prevent the Reapers, an on. With incredible graphics and a beautiful cover-based combat system ancient, technologically advanced race, soundtrack, Skyrim will suck dozens and is fast paced and exciting, destroying Earth. The game, and series as dozens of hours out of your life, and with with there being an added a whole, is reliant on player choice, with downloadable content on the horizon, the emphasis on hand-to-hand the storyline being shaped and changed by seemingly never ending game is about to get combat this time around. Drake and company are the preferences of the player. The combat even longer. just as hilarious as always, system has been further refined, with with there being many it being most comparable batman arkham city genuinely funny moments to the Gears of War series, and the graphics are Upon release in 2009, Rocksteady’s in the script. The action amongst the best Batman: Arkham Asylum was set pieces are amongst the ever seen. Although christened as the greatest best in gaming history, puzzles being the ending has superhero game of all time. with proven to be It would not hold that award welcomed as a change controversial, it for very long. Arkham City of pace, which are is hard to deny is bigger and better than the all made even better that, with the original, with it being one of by the mesmerising addition of the best third-person adventure graphics, showing multiplayer, the games ever created. Batman is the PS3 at its final chapter in the trapped in Arkham City, a new absolute best. The saga is a worthy ending. prison that has replaced Arkham new standard for the Asylum and is five times bigger than action genre. its predecessor, and must now stop the chaos being created by some the legend of Gotham’s most famous criminals. The feeling of zelda of claustrophobia found in Arkham skyward Asylum has sword been replaced by a desire for After the release e x p l o r a t i o n , of Twilight with a far greater Princess in landscape for 2006, Zelda Batman to venture fans had to across. New wait five years gadgets, more for the next r e c o g n i s a b l e console entry in Nintendo’s s u p e r- v i l l a i n s beloved adventure series. from Batman They were not disappointed, canon, more with Skyward Sword arguably R i d d l e r being the best entry in the c h a l l e n g e s , series since the iconic N64 and even classic Ocarina of Time. The the playable graphical style employed by character of Nintendo is superb, combining C a t w o m a n , the cartoonish cell-shading of makes Arkham City Wind Waker with the gritty realism the total package. of Twilight Princess, to create a

beautiful environment. Storyline wise, the game answers questions about the series back-story, explaining the creation of not only the legendary Master Sword, but also the main series antagonist, Ganon. The most noteworthy aspect of this game is the motion controls, as with true 1:1 sword combat meaning that you control Link’s sword with amazing accuracy with the Wii remote, making every enemy encounter a thought process. A spectacular game.

01.05.2012

ARTS

concrete.arts@uea.ac.uk

a year gone by for uea dance, drama and comedy What has been the highlight for Headlights The committee will be handing over soon, What can students expect from Dancesport this year? and I am sure they are going to do a fabulous in the future? job. We aim to widen our reach beyond We have a few plans to make it even bigger Our highlight was unquestionably supporting campus, by increasing the number of and better! After the success of Strictly we Delete The Banjax in the LCR. It’s fantastic performances we do in city centre venues, want to host an inter-varsity competition we’re allowed to continue booking excellent and by doing outreach work with schools or here at UEA. There are many competitions acts through the Union, and that people are in community centres. Our annual musical that are held throughout the year at different beginning to realise we have our finger on will come around again bigger and better universities, so we want to do a similar thing the pulse of great, up-and-coming comedy. It than ever, and more and more people will and invite other universities to come and was nice for us to get some stage time too, as it meant rewarding all of our writers, actors know about what fantastic things the society compete. We have also been pioneering our and directors for their heard work throughout is creating. I’d like to see some artistic collaborations with other societies as well. community projects where we go into local the year. Keep an eye out for what DramaSoc has to schools and care homes to teach dance as offer next year, and watch us as we continue well as putting on demonstrations. We want How is the society going to continue to to take that further next year and establish it grow? to grow! In the next year we want as many people as a part of UEA’s volunteering scheme. as possible to come along and laugh with us. Whether you want to perform, write or watch comedy, or even just hang out with a great group of people, we want to make Headlights the place to be. University should be full of laughter and creative expression and we want to continue giving people an outlet for both of those things every Friday night!

Why do you think Drama has continued to be an important society at UEA? I think DramaSoc continues to have an impact at UEA partly because of the quality of productions, which engage and excite so many students every term, and also its inclusiveness. We pride ourselves on providing as many opportunities as possible for our members to get involved [in] and we are continually trying to improve this: this year we’ve included opportunities for students to submit their own original work for performance, run drama workshops by students and professionals alike, and arranged theatre trips to go and see Strictly UEA was a big success, selling professional productions in Norwich, as well out completely. Would you say it was as increasing the number of shows we put on Dancesport’s best achievement this year? As a club we were overwhelmed by how each term. successful the event turned out to be, and it was a credit to all those who took part as all What is DramaSoc hoping to achieve next their hard work paid off! year?

this week in arts history

Interviews by Bethany Wyatt. Thanks to Jenny Woods, Carl Scutt and Gurdas Singh Sually for speaking to Concrete Arts.

... 1929

american beauty audrey hepburn was born on 4 may 1929.

Remembered as one of the true fashion and film icons of the 20th century, Audrey Hepburn is a name which burns deep into the history of British culture. Although she would go on to become a British legend on-

screen, her beginnings were quite different. Born Audrey Kathleen Ruston on 4 May 1929 in Brussels to a British father and a Dutch mother, her childhood would take her back and forth between the UK and the Netherlands throughout the duration of World War 2 seeking to evade the imminent German invasion. It was as the war ended that Audrey was relocated to Amsterdam and took up ballet lessons with the lead figure in Dutch ballet, leading to her very first on-screen role; as an air stewardess in the educational travel film Dutch in Seven Lessons. It was in 1948 when Audrey would move back to Britain where she took part in a number of theatre roles gaining her first significant performance in Thorald Dickinson’s The Secret People (1952). This led to her starring lead role in the film Roman Holiday, where she garnered much critical acclaim, culminating in receiving the Academy Award, Bafta, and Golden Globe for best actress in 1953.

After starring in many more successful film roles, it was in in 1961 that she played the lead role in the film that would define her career; Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Hepburn’s high fashion style and sophistication within the film became synonymous with her, with the black dress she wore in the beginning of the film cited as one of the most iconic items of clothing in the 20th century. As her film career wound down her charitable efforts increased, leading to her being appointed Goodwill ambassador of Unicef. In the years leading up to her death in 1992 she travelled across many of the world’s poorest countries, carrying out missionary work for both the Red Cross and Unicef. Hepburn’s legacy as an actress, personality, style icon and humanitarian has endured long after her death, and is still revered as one of the greatest female stars of all time. Adam Drivsington

CALL FOR CONTENT FOR OUR FINAL (FINAL) ISSUE We know you can’t get enough of Concrete. So to tide you over during this hectic, stressful exam period, we’ll be releasing an extra issue on Tuesday 15 May, which will be edited by next year’s editorial team. To get involved and write for it, use the section editors’ email addresses as before, or email concrete.editor@ uea.ac.uk for more details.

NEWS

concrete.news@uea.ac.uk

GET INVOLVED | WRITE FOR NEWS Found a story? Want to join our mailing list? Never written before but fancy trying your hand?

facebook.com/ConcreteNewspaper @Concrete_UEA

www.concrete-online.co.uk Tuesday 1 May 2012 - Issue 269

Norwich

Crime drops across Norfolk

Email the News editors at concrete.news@uea.ac.uk University

Library gets brutal for busy exam period Adam Plom | News reporter The UEA library is throwing the book at students found misusing its facilities during the busiest period of the year. In response to student feedback, the library now provides a “noise line” service, where students can text a number if they are being disturbed by anti-social library users. Students provide their location and the aim is then that staff will come and resolve the issue. The library plans to make the measure permanent if it continues to be successful. More than this, however, the library could make permanent the removal of belongings that have been left unattended by students for more than 30 minutes, so to free-up workspaces for those wishing to use them. UEA library has reported a 10% increase in usage this year, and during the assessment period the 30 minute rule will be temporarily implemented. It is believed that in doing so, people will not be able to reserve spaces for friends or drop off their belongings before returning hours later. The rules will also apply to computer areas. Any unattended belongings will be placed in a box near the workspace for the student to collect. The library believes that these solutions will prevent people from having to study in the stairwells and on the library floors, as they have been recently. However, the procedures have received a mixed reaction. The library told Concrete that the measures were introduced after they received “many comments concerned about the selfish behaviour of some Library users.“ Indeed, it seems that the noise line in particular has been well received, with many students confirming that they have been disturbed by loud individuals in the past and would use the text service. Conversely, the 30 minute rule has not been welcomed with universal approval. While many students believe it is a good idea to prevent students leaving their belongings unattended for extended periods of time, many believe that the

policy will be difficult to implement. Several students voiced fears over the consistency, believing it would only be an “unlucky few” getting caught due to the difficulty of patrolling the entire library. Some students have aired concerns over having their personal belongings touched and moved, while others believe it is unfair to be restricted to a 30 minute lunch break after hours of studying. It has been suggested that the library should focus on providing more study spaces, as it is due to the lack of available seats that students leave their belongings behind, believing that they will not get a seat later on.

Ga Chun Yau Beth Wyatt | News reporter Figures released last month indicate that crime in Norfolk has decreased and the county is still one of the safest in the UK. However, infractions on Prince of Wales Road have increased. Norfolk Constabulary revealed that during the period of April 2011-April 2012, overall crime was down by 2.5%, despite an increase in violent and sexual crimes. Crimes which fell included serious offences such as burglary (21%), vehicle crime (14%) and antisocial behaviour (24%). Norfolk’s chief constable, Phil Gormley, was encouraged by the figures. He said: “These figures show we have had an exceptional year in driving down crime, catching more offenders and improving the quality of life for the public in Norfolk. “In 2012/13 we will be looking to consolidate on this performance while focusing on working with partners to tackle some of the problems associated with the night time economy, and reduce

the violence too often associated with alcohol abuse.” Combating violence related to alcohol is a key priority in Norwich, as Superintendent Paul Sanford has revealed in papers sent to the city council. Sanford has been forced to remove staff from neighbourhood patrols in order to deal with offences on Prince of Wales Road. Sanford said: “The growth of the Norwich night time economy puts considerable strain on police resources. I now have to devote significantly more policing hours towards the Prince of Wales Road and surrounding area than I did before late night opening commenced in the city. “Analysis shows a significant increase in all crime in the night time economy between 3am and 6am in the last three years: this three year period has coincided with the opening of bars, clubs and takeaways beyond 3am. “This increase in crime has included growth in the number of sexual assaults and serious violence taking place.”

University

Chancellor Sir Brandon Gough dies Continued from the front page

Chloe Hashemi

Born in Merseyside in 1937, Sir Brandon went on to graduate from Cambridge University, studying natural sciences and law, and achieved an Open University degree in humanities with classical studies. After university he became a chartered accountant, becoming a partner in Coopers & Lybrand, the company which would later form the heart of PricewaterhouseCoopers, the global professional services organisation. Following his retirement from Coopers & Lybrand, Sir Brandon played a leading role in a number of public sector and not-for-profit organisations, including

Yorkshire Water, the Higher Education Funding Council for England, and City University. In 2002 he was knighted for his public service. Vice-chancellor, Professor Edward Acton, said: “I am shocked and deeply saddened by this devastating news. “He made the role of Chancellor much more than a ceremonial position and was a frequent visitor to campus, meeting staff and students and taking a keen interest in their work. “I know how much he was looking forward to our 50th anniversary next year. It is a matter of profound regret that he will not be with us as we celebrate an institution for which he worked so tirelessly.”

www.concrete-online.co.uk Tuesday 1 May 2012 - Issue 269

NEWS

facebook.com/ConcreteNewspaper concrete.news@uea.ac.uk @Concrete_UEA

Sheffield

Norwich

UEA visits NUS National Conference X Factor hits Norwich Meg Evans | Academic Officer

When the UEA delegation arrived at this year’s NUS National Conference in Sheffield, I described it as “a giant Union Council.” While I don’t think that appealed as much to my fellow delegates, the atmosphere around conference floor was electric. National Conference is where delegates from students’ unions across the UK set the agenda and policy for the National Union for the coming year. NUS is split into five zones: Higher Education, Further Education, Society and Citizenship, Union Development and Welfare. Delegates discuss policy across these areas. One of the most contentious issues was motion 305b, which called on the NUS to hold a national demonstration in the first term of the 2012/13 academic year. At last year’s

conference, delegates voted down holding another national demo but there was a significant mood change on conference floor this year and delegates voted overwhelmingly in favour of a national demo against cuts to education. The most exciting part of NUS Conference is definitely the elections. Each year, conference elects the five vicepresidents and the national president, as well the block of 15 who sit on the National Executive Council and are responsible for implementing the policy passed at conference. The most striking part of conference is the sheer volume of delegates in t-shirts and handing out stickers for candidates. It’s a tour de force of electioneering and really builds a fantastic atmosphere. The presidential debate threw the race wide open and to say it was too close to call

was an understatement. Liam Burns, the current national president, was re-elected with 57% of the vote in the final round, despite a strong challenge from Ed Marsh, the current vice-president (union development), who achieved 43% of the vote. All in all, National Conference was a really fun experience. It was full of debates about the shape of the student movement and sets the direction of the national union. It’s a great opportunity to meet new people, get involved in fringe events, put on a hideously coloured campaign t-shirt and vote for the new leaders of the movement. NUS celebrates its 90th year in 2012, and National Conference is more exciting than ever. I’m gutted that this was my last one, and would encourage everyone to take up the opportunity to go next year.

Norwich

Kung Wafou kicked out of business Sophie Witts | News reporter A Norwich bar has had its licence revoked following concerns by police over heightened violence and disorder in the area. Wafou, situated on Prince of Wales Road, was subject to the unusual request by police after consistently failing to uphold the conditions of its licence. This included permitting entry after 4am, excessive drunkenness and a “disproportionately high” number of criminal incidents taking place at or near the bar in the early hours of the morning. In documents presented to Norwich City Council, police claimed that the management had a ‘’blatant disregard’

for licensing laws, and attempts to engage with owner Al Fode Olare had been unsuccessful, resulting in him becoming aggressive and uncooperative, despite efforts to rectify the situation. Speaking to the local press, Olare claimed that the police lacked evidence he was breaching his licence, and he believed he was being used as a scapegoat due to his ethnicity. “I believe I have been targeted and discriminated against. Maybe they do not like the colour of my skin. I feel I have been discriminated against and I feel very angry. I try to make this a better place.” He further claimed that the only people allowed entry to the bar after 4am had been customers who had left to use the cash machine on the strip, as the

club’s card machine had been broken. While police have so far refrained from commenting on Olare’s claims of discrimination, Superintendent Paul Stanford welcomed the revocation and added that the decision was not taken lightly: “Unfortunately we felt there was no other option with this establishment, as the levels of disorder and intoxication associated with Wafou were excessive and the manager continually failed to address them.” The ban follows comments made by the Superintendent earlier this week that he was forced to divert officers from neighbourhood patrols in order to cope with the rise in late night crime in the area.

Ga Chun Yau

Sophie Witts | News reporter Aspiring singers will have a chance to pursue stardom when the X Factor auditions come to Norwich next month. In a departure from the conventional format, the ITV show is transporting the judges in a mobile audition van around the country in order to reach areas which are excluded from the larger arena-based set of auditions. Take That singer and returning head judge, Gary Barlow, has said of the change: “We want to make sure we find all the talent the country has to offer and the extra auditions allow even more people to try out.” The show is set to visit Norwich on Wednesday 9 May, although details of timings and where the auditions will run are yet to be released.

Campus

Thousands raised by medical society Arwa Abdel-Aal | News reporter A UEA student society has raised £2,500 for Norfolk Accident Rescue Service (Nars). The two day course was organised by the Society of trauma, emergency medicine and pre-hospital care (StepUK UEA) to raise money for Nars. The course is an opportunity for students to revise topics covered in their medical degree and to ask questions before their exams this summer. Doctors from across the county volunteered their time to give a series of revision lectures to medical students in years one to five. Nars is a team of 20 highly skilled volunteer doctors and paramedics who provide essential emergency medical care on the scene of the accident. The charity relies completely on public donations and receives no financial aid from the government or the NHS. A similar event organised by StepUK UEA last year raised £7,000 for the advanced paramedic response unit (Apru) in Norwich. The money was used to provide advanced medical training for paramedics and doctors. Money raised in this year’s event will allow Nars to continue providing excellent patient care by paying for highly specialised medical equipment and advanced pre-hospital care training for staff.

NEWS

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www.concrete-online.co.uk Tuesday 1 May 2012 - Issue 269

Higher education

Two thirds of undergrads worry about their money Chris Teale | News reporter The interim results of “the pound in your pocket” survey by the National Union of Students (NUS) has found that two-thirds of undergraduates aged 21-24 worry about being unable to cover their basic living costs while at university. The survey looked to collate students’ perceptions of the financial support available to them, and was released before the 2012 NUS National Conference in Sheffield. It was produced by the NUS financial support commission, which investigates the costs facing students in the present day and how these are affected by the financial support available to them. The results show that more than a third of students are currently facing worries when it comes to their finances, while students with children, NHS students and older students in further education have the biggest concerns. Liam Burns, President of the NUS, said: “Students at all levels of education are telling us that financial support is not reaching the pockets of those that need

it most. “Students who struggle to meet basic living costs will also struggle to continue their education. We desperately need a radical rethink of the way that student financial support is organised.” Meanwhile, the report has said that 68% of students in further education between the ages of 16 and 18 say they spent around £30 a week paying for their transport. This group of students are those that have suffered due to the discontinuing of the Education Maintenance Allowance (EMA), and the results show that their weekly transport costs and the maximum EMA payment they used to receive are equal. Burns added: “Whatever your opinion on whether the new fees regime in colleges and universities will stop poorer students accessing education, not having enough money while we study certainly will. “The government must ensure that no student is forced out of education because of cost, and no matter how many times they say the opposite, it is clearly a risk.”

University

Men’s Rugby Union ban upheld

New superstore could replace Union shops

Continued from the front page Driver also claimed the ban violated natural justice, as well as the constitution of the Union and the Education Act of 1994. Finance officer, Rob Bloomer, stated that the management committee felt it had made a thorough investigation into the complaints. In response to Men’s Rugby’s criticisms of the process by which the decision was made, Communications officer, Matthew Myles, stated: “I think what we’ve done in terms of the process of this decision was enough to allow us to make the decision. It may not have been perfect, and we agree that it should be improved. “To me, how we got to the decision would only matter if we were missing information, but we aren’t missing anything and we weren’t missing anything. We know what happened, and that’s all that matters.” The Union also said in a public statement that: “The Union is confident that no laws have been broken, and the peers of UEA Men’s Rugby Club have considered the Union’s actions proper and constitutional through Student Officer Committee and Union Council”. So, with accusations flying from both sides, what is next for the UEA Rugby

team? While the team admits that it is still “deeply sorry” for its actions, it advocates that Men’s Rugby “never condoned any sort of racist or sexist behaviour.” The club has been putting together an appeal to the dean of students and hope to start a petition to enlist support from the student body. UEA Men’s Rugby has named the individuals responsible to the Union and feels strongly that it is them who should be punished. Rob Bloomer told Concrete in an interview that there “will still be high level, managed sport going on at UEA. There should be a provision of sport and there should be the provision of as many sports as people want to do.” In Union Council he suggested an intermural rugby sevens tournament. A large amount of support has been registered on social media from members of the student body, but with the Union having followed its procedures in banning the club, the views of these students will have no sway, no matter how loud many call for individuals to be punished, not the club. There is, however, still a chance that the decision could be taken to a referendum, but there are no plans in place to do this.

Joshua Resoun | News reporter The Union is set to create a “superstore” at some point in the future, following an on-going consultation with the University. The superstore could potentially amalgamate the Union Food Outlet, Union Paper Shop, the Union Travel Shop and Union Post Office into a single store, partly to help combat the deficit, and also as part of a wider project aimed at reorganising the Street. The first three retail outlets, when taken together, have steadily increased their turnover during the last three financial years (up from £377,236 in 2010 to £421,745 in 2011). Despite this, the possible creation of a superstore has been

discussed with staff. Matthew Myles, the Union’s Communications officer, on the commercial strategy of the Union, said: “We are working closely with the University to try to improve the Union for our members. But most importantly we are working with our members; we will continue to seek more feedback on all of our services over the coming years, following our most thorough market research to date this year.” The creation of a superstore is part of a wider plan by the Union to combat the deficit. Voluntary redundancy has been offered to Union staff, with some former staff members already having been made redundant. James and Suze would like to thank all who have contributed to News this year. It has been an absolute pleasure. Good luck to next year’s News editors, Sophie and Philip. And to the readers ... you stay classy.

www.concrete-online.co.uk Tuesday 1 May 2012 - Issue 269

NEWS

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Concrete World News America

Burma

Australia

Africa

California will hold a ballot in November where state voters will decide whether to abolish the death penalty. If passed it would mean that 725 death row inmates, housed at San Quentin State Prison, would have their sentences converted to life with no possibility of parole.

The Secretary General of the United Nations, Ban Kimoon, has urged Burma’s president to work together with Aung San Suu Kyi to move towards a better future for the country. Mr Ban’s historic address of the Burmese parliament is hoped to dawn a new period of co-operation within the country.

Clive Palmer, an Australian billionaire, has confirmed reports that he has commissioned a Chinese firm named CSC Jinling Shipyard to build a Titanic replica. The vessel will be similar to the original, however it will be fitted out with modern technology. Current plans hypothesise a 2016 sail date from Britain across the Atlantic to America.

The Ugandan army has accused the Sudanese government of supporting Joseph Kony’s Lord’s Resistance Army. The LRA is accused of the recruitment of child soldiers, among other offences, and was the subject of an infamous viral video earlier this year made by US charity Invisible Children.

James Dixon

Susanna Wood

Frances Mckeown

Susanna Wood

Manchester

University

NUS Conference highlights LGBT issues UEA handed green award Richard Laverick | News reporter

The end of April saw the NUS LGBT annual conference held in Manchester. The Union of UEA Students sent four delegates including the outgoing and new LGBT Officers. There were a lot of motions put forward to conference and most passed with clear majorities. The key motions to be passed were: “Consent is sexy!”, highlighting sexual assaults, abuse and harassment in the LGBT and wider community. The conference resolved to promote the work of S4SRE (Students for Sex and Relationship Education), an organisation ran by students to educate on all levels. “Mental health matters.” This motion discussed cuts to mental health services in the NHS, and how this would affect LGBT students who are a high risk mental health group. From this motion, research will be conducted on how LGBT students access services and the effectiveness of such services. “I’m not bi-curious, I’m bi-furious.” This motion raised the issue of biphobia, and the lack of resources given to tackling this when compared to other LGBT phobias. “Keeping the faith.” This motion moved to develop deeper links with religious groups in order to create dialog

and understanding, thus helping LGBT people of faith. “Body elitism in the LGBT community.” This challenges the media to display the diversity of the LGBT community. “Gender neutral toilets and sports facilities” aims to continue to drive the national campaign to introduce gender neutral facilities as part of equal opportunities. “For the active inclusion of asexuals.“

This motion admitted asexuals to the membership of the LGBT campaign. From this conference, the new LGBT officer started a report into the student experience for LGBT people at UEA. This will be presented to Union Council along with recommendations, motions and constitutional amendments. To view the LGBT student experience report, visit concrete-online.co.uk to read the full article.

James Dixon | News editor After a comprehensive and independent audit, UEA has been awarded a gold award from the National EcoCampus scheme for higher education. This affirms that UEA has a high standard of environmentally friendly practices across areas such as environmental communication, documentation and emergency practice. The award scheme features four levels of award that reaches from bronze to platinum. EcoCampus claim to have 30% of the Russell Group and 35% of higher and further education institutions participating in the award. 48 universities are currently listed on the EcoCampus website as having attained an award. UEA’s green credentials are subsequently cemented. The award is run by the Higher Education Funding Council for England and was conceived in 2005. It has given birth to a green-eyed monster and thus the Risk and Sustainability team, whose role involves promoting and cultivating positive environmental practice at UEA, are currently working on achieving the lofty heights of a platinum award.

COMMENT

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Tuesday 1 May 2012 - Issue 269

Concrete: Une année bien dépensé

I may have the solution!

You can operate your business from anywhere in the UK or indeed the world. One graduate now has a business that spans 11 countries! Full training and support will be provided for the right people. Intrigued? So was I when I read about this opportunity and my curiosity paid off! If youÕve got the entrepreneurial spirit and a willingness to work then call me today!

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SENIOR RESIDENTS 2012-2013 The Dean of Students’ Office is recruiting enthusiastic, mature and capable people to join our team of Senior Residents in September 2012. Senior Residents will work closely with staff in the Dean of Students’ Office to deliver high quality advice, guidance and support to students living in residences and to facilitate the development of a well-integrated residential community. In return for rent-free self-contained accommodation comprising living room, bedroom, kitchen and bathroom, Senior Residents will: • promote the well-being and good order of students in residences and strive to create a positive living environment; • play a key role in the welcome and induction of new students and support students’ transition from home to university life;

On the dusky set of Star Trek: The Next Generation, Q turns to a future Captain Picard, and states: “All good things must come to an end.” And so it is with Concrete, after a fantastic (if often stressful) year of acting as Comment editor we finally come to my final issue before the inevitable handover ceremony sees my successor, Ciara Jack, take the reins on what I can only describe

“On the dusky set of Star Trek: The Next Generation, Q turns to a future Captain Picard, and states: “All good things must come to an end” as a completely worthwhile experience. To all my writers, I say a massive thank you, and that without your fortnightly contributions and ability to put up with my terrible humour, Comment could not have encouraged the debate and controversy that it has. To the rest of the editorial team, it has been a pleasure to work with you all, and I will genuinely miss working within the four yellow walls of the office. Finally, to the readers, I have, in all honesty, ignored most of your grumblings, yet I appreciate you taking the time to message them nevertheless. Leaving behind the soppy appreciations and the overly emotional goodbyes, how about a quick year in review? For Concrete, this year has been one hell of a rollercoaster ride. The Union, being the caring organisation that they are, have given us plenty of material to cover with the financial deficit, the cuts to student staff pay, and the Men’s RFC ban. Yet the future is far from rosy for our Union, and what is needed is a comprehensive review of their activities. In any case, there will be some tough decisions to be made in the immediate future, in relation to both the services that it provides, and the staff structure of the Union itself. Are next year’s

• provide a duty system which guarantees students can access help and support out-of-hours and at weekends.

Comprehensive induction and in-service training will be provided to the successful applicants. Application Deadline: 12 noon on Monday 11 June 2012 For more information visit the Dean of Students’ Office or go to www.uea.ac.uk/dos : Life in Residences

www.concrete-online.co.uk Tuesday 27 March 2012 - Issue 268

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Butwillany f Go be over. thr doesn smoothly discrepancy say othatyouthese previous elderly and Ma is hal oftenyour teammates get the best last nig with for you’ll matter. not soon wh r he ortant possible are rs to ng, sex same This latest incident complaints ofseyears (which ished by : “it’s tho sically doesn’t hours late and you boome the ur the you ng phyexperience. lemgone also imp y h e Fo unb y larl a bed h. wit Fiv us, officially bab Bei wit investigated) the cio ep way into have the members of Men’s Rugby been particurarely people and as that.shows that us on the him. their had St ate pre memories you es into ds to make tners for the one With fault” conscio w on top of make there is one should you h into associ not be com to not ur who did this are did not return that favour brought the current oug par ten a r how ing You yo ir ood alth not, I’m all over the beginn mate Years, bably get e you someho wonder time. h the , you childh lden pictur rse it’s g if it it inti whole rds. If their committee. All the members of pier wittorwa I less havenottotodisagree sayhapthat You ir Go verthe sex, and lot all day will pro y soon: the debate, all, or g this Of cou flounderin the Ne at afte nd vin fer ich ing I t t mo is wh hav while mye club to spe understand ty ver ment they must. moved ng. ht pre Many s clubs that whenever they have r, tha got to been ne thaenjoyed who issue hav a fair the publici At the mo our mig t has r if you relative spinni everyo howeve I first , and . r, tha more for erly red on wonde the room en place. my fault, sex tne lot are identifiable as part of the team they eld Union’s attitude that some groups will ter reti wh bet and r par over less rely any of It is y be e the shown with you life better. was just elderly more or all of run you floutmathe rules, ands until keep .company courag its havea large ugh, your have to kes reputation. 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The p bad tend that e sex to de- about have Union car Houseto and complain soon h a more A: help howryone to hav for hou , stop. Sto elderly helps helps pre Quite eve wit s can want e sex this and It also hug of eye, perpetrators in this instance should have is so willinggto turn aAll blind ile presentedfree-speakingthen?the Union to hav If he does the aged you did heart. while lon harm? ssure. at , old e mob menon plebe nothingpeo can fixed. Speaking drinks. ing. This is od pre more and wh for any to UEA stepped forward and taken the heat for the ve: th phenon It is by tion, er blo news t everyth enduring ep Fi genera gh to low alumni has revealed ellent that several clubs club. If they do not feel that sense of duty y dick”. rather St is exc you mi e r mobile r sadly as “whiske r this gh be you m tur ou you have had these reputations going back there is clearly a lack of unity and pride for nu if he known a mask “Alth not to pic ves s for , or y ngsta into the mid-90s. This build up of pressure in the club. To be clear, I am not happy he ask rwards do not no wa bed skills. prefer erly relati afte the “ga and If again, y be Union has meant that its eventual that Rugby’s problems have escalated to eld lacking he makes ce sign, number see you your sex, it maon the t he is B: If wilted pea nts to e tha was always going to be severe. g the point that this ban had to be imposed. reaction on (rather out wa n”, . havin every rap sig rap star it), get k say yes r, r for The Union needs to take a long look at not a from Ra the bette they do” Why should this year’s Rugby Club he is thing you will thin thest and bear the brunt of the Union’s punishment? how it deals with the first signs of trouble ed at the fur Otherwise I here”? repuls ing d re. am ten be the hy hav year’s Men’s Rugby committee, among its members. However, given of pre “W we erlyThis rself, his Should of the eld expected you do to you again. on from which includes players in their fourth the repeated incidents over time, and that be he h. drink ion if er ple ency, nev Englis , the not uld peo lowing star, r e of dec year with the club, will have been well the years Men’s RFC have had to reflect speak Sho C: Fol be a rap it’s Snoop h five the sak t the answe sex? a hig to for and ty ual him p, and their predecessors behaved on themselves and make a change, the on, aware ofe how inabili give no t in sex there. to sto say tha music age op s? I is a hug out of puts rap not eng man. Sno associated with the Union had no other choice than to punish Simply the fuck perhap questionsand of the stigma ile do this se hear ” wh Dog, with and get to the “no”.club. nt to the moment they took over the many for the actions of a few. uction urse ding ow ’t wa From your al sed not cool. interco to foll e resoun you don what up “sensu e is I sincerely hope that whatever form of they have signed agreements to , easy aboutwould True, Dog’s doggie styl in five lf in perfum a got details it lve rse ng sex exact grandp the safety and wellbeing of their Men’s Rugby emerges in a year’s time is protect doing rtrendi dowse you , two or twe be any a and ible, hea e and own members and anyone else their club better off for knowing what responsibility k one w it you’ll grandm e it, terr , make sur throw bac kno hav you go out interacts with. 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COMMENT

concrete.comment@uea.ac.uk

Against THE BIG DEBATE Histo ry

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Joshua Resoun | Comment editor

facebook.com/ConcreteNewspaper @Concrete_UEA

rat ll l explo es e a wa sexua on their members and that would have Fromfetthe moment the Union to lov of UEA ce for fering? al ish gusting h suf ct pla re unusu saved the club from being banned. As the lin Students announced ban it dis itforwould suc Berthe perfe Isn’t mo le s of the the ing the e of the president of another club this year, I have Men’s Club, there were it to ponsib crete calls for wa cussRugbyres d con ct itself, nor rsity be ht on on sn’t dis but you crimes made those tough decisions whenever I unive erethe individuals lig The col n’t on refocus its punishment n, She doe atio k for With some tners. giving Wall did procre who the docthat those e have seen that what individual players have n of were sheds r par at fault. Iin agree ms of the pai to w the od you ble pos w La d ty. sto and ho pro pur ani e it che Wall town this rds. responsible ile’s want to do is at odds with what is best approa oling, not can imagin Berlinparticularly y instance tips on inst hum inver ever ectoph afterwa ll is aga , the a few ht out on the dro s you obj be to ide you et ers res g h ve ld The punishmentto well for the club. It is by no means enjoyable, receive severe Wa ark d ins s birt Ha exp pin should ui off a nig the Berlin e slap sex cou Gone superm t of the foo ” is eou m is houtbut when you recognise that you are part h Chriq d sex after local midwif nce to the y. “He of beyond the ban from joining sports clubs y bad sed. e wit orphis curvac ugh wa t is lov e onl tho ere Judit pom g’s If an ans. aus Era Ref hro by the a rare visi at the ibly ba anthas buildin university ual ’t. Bec for hum imposed. of something bigger than just the team which theEriUnion ten. itrary, by hum ual ka the . On irealready incred night. ll, sex forgot Well, it can er forget but not arb lovers ship, r of a des controlled ectum sex se nev r. r? We ce for of the tionreason ere playing this year, you realise it is the only The go further ld be one of her t rela lf for ng has to obj ato the Union you’ll foreve exterio fect pla Japane middle nding. Wh r at cou th is, yourse ing distan e to the cur those bei ka’s first h a has to per ture It’s the d is pou rify instance isEri twofold: wa the club and wh n objectum in this s wit the tru g in you e the lovin thisisin used option but to take disciplinary action ’ll tor tion, tha hea you s her nt for ry hor had wall. encounter ault. morial tog the Your ewher Are it. You with eve at one poi explora erimental ic desire defend m mefailed your fellow club members. the sex Union t she ual ass against thaof ssin promote ck you? is ant ed the aims exp ’re som ok. seu rs

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hope that our elected politicians will finally be able to rid us of the tabloid menace once and for all. Whether or not Murdoch’s fall will also bring down the coalition government remains to be seen. Certainly the behaviour of Jeremy Hunt is inexcusable, yet the entire affair has sidetracked the more important issues of the day, such as the double-dip recession, the Eurozone crisis, looming war in the Sudan, and we cannot forget about the purely genius and pivotal plans to build Titanic II (with 21st century safety features, as if any sane engineer was going to keep the original flaws). So there we have it, a quick year in review. As I write this, it seems to have finally dawned on me that not only has my tenure with Concrete come to an end, but so has my tenure here at the University of East Anglia. That thought alone is petrifying. As they say though, the world is our oyster, or at least it was until the BBC announced that one-in-five graduates are unemployed. Yet I would like to leave this year on a positive note, so here I am signing off, reminding you all that only two things in life are certain: death, and taxes.

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MEN

The role of Senior Resident will be rewarding and represents an excellent personal and professional development opportunity for those able to respond to the challenges.

sabbatical officers up to the challenge? For your sake, I hope they are. Moving outside of our Union, the national scene has been an interesting (and highly depressing) play to watch unfold. William Shakespeare’s Hamlet can eat its heart out. The closure of the News of the World last summer opened up an investigation which is still plaguing the Murdoch empire, and we can only

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Wyatt versiti without due consideration an a ist final Rugby is a sport that helps define mo a enl es studecision defen d a perce re aca dents wh preferring pt ds he effects, not aspirations dem university. The tradition, stretching back to o’veonly on the previo as theof the r acad ion that the us civ humani ic A-Leve taken emic anc ‘softer’of those ilisation ls suc committed no foul action, its inception in 1823, is rich and diverse, and tieswho choic , as opp option h the estors live s, how e s, you osed of the d,as obstac also on’dthe image a competitive, successful club can only for be belbut how our ieving to howUniversity they les of learn of sub that the be forgiven faced theyriddance, fro jects Some might saytogood an asset to the university it represents. And set us their tim pop events m them. assure a whole. such e, moder ularity firm Many as hisplays d. of the nisatio a part in the ly on the and pos so it was with dismay that I read the open horrify to kno Howe or that rugby tory no bigger was ing ver, w tha n. It is hum road Fir ed questio twentieth this pre res cen of UEA than korfball, letter sent out by the Union confirming the ns of st Wo ults makeup decess but t with bling you morali tury rld indicat summer’s ors and , and with just onebroadcasted decrea the ty. The e a of theexaban news being your ban on UEA RFC. “Laddish” behaviour, no pur War, a se in ancest m sm bloodb pos Vietna expand worry all pie a his ors, are tory tory in his ath m Wa e or me ce ingonline, bulletins and remarked a select few, is to blame for the stu news ing undnational aning; pictur theof an eve a sm you tha it cou r, sam ergrad dents. As e. His aller the ld be consequences t decision e ans r- an of the Union’s will tory unruly behaviour that led to allegations of sca rm you lea wa argued uate my bias tow wer unima le; the self, rn wh sense of bel gives in that I ard Holoc on ere further than a simple one year onging the dismuch racist remarks against individualshow within have which ginable aus you ever, sreach t, cipline a “I , low are fro occurr humans essenthas I bel belie ieve it m. I est dep ence the team. But this is a culture that ial for ban. sank ve it is abs love, es ths. about to the olutely is ab The senti histor everyone ir world so al for y. to lea After every lutely worse place would be rn learn ab heed import all, what on out his the if a “What is at the heart of the issue, is that couldthe Union is punishing ant tory” e to any these warnipeople failed far past? than be mo There ngs hop For to stu re is an dying a sta club for the actions committed by a small minority” for to kno even rt, del the it’s w wh at hap fascinating pened

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make ma en greate over all UEA has to been a variety developed over the last few years and that, can onl n footba olf Hitler mistak theplastered oft-said r than was es, ll coa others to rev y hope tha remedy with ch? the for better or worse, has taken a hold of of news sites, associated solely , We t school erse for tha and res this s work tore tof societies, teams and friendship groups up ban. This in turn has led to a great deal is to ign histor this countr orance, As the and y. y’s pas and down the country. new se negative connotations, directed not only sion for Colle aso at n sport at the University but towards the Before I go on, let me underscore It is said tt giv of the es heestablishment that X-Fa a col ascto a whole. Most people the fact that I do not condone any of the r opini lective riots are r appro to UEA and an act on ofthat, if they It’s tha to the mind. actions of the individuals involved. What I will assume of t wo the tal come aches, The mo time of yea (“And lose our rld of psy According Jess wh t show behaviour join a society, any en disruptive cannot comprehend, however, rash r aga cho st the identit import year. is exactly at do you mass in folk y as we logy, we ant tim s. I number will jeopardize their by a limited tim over decision that the UnionlifehasThe made commit when do we make do?”), wh Certain acts of just don irrepar e that cha e of the at we hav of our ’t kno ablyWhat nge whto fornext young held res ly an individaggressio opportunity a sport they really the future of the club for year. selves e no s you ole play the bet and n. proces w why, out male r pon ual imp ter. I find here: cry, you sible care burnin roves Thefak s a bit, movin put? The e and You’ll enjoy. old adage for the can be of the g ’ll wis it darapply unintedoesn’t It’s e I say looting of the the mothe g from the we saw or other h it’ll laugh, you You res I am, about min ting r nev we , it, this publicity is only bad publicity. ’ll of this ma ? er course y rea profita and return a marke lfare sta to the car in any summe dless act enterta horror , referrinend. Further, the ct te bili e s of inment minority of wit members , And exa ty, first care dream the X-Fact h sho who into a d transition, must make sense? more tha r, but is tha g to the and about but I don n jus and ck t factor or. sta ctly som te The have committed t a leg ’t act forem doesn’t why sho the screen one y has theactions in the Two ually contesthe ost competlisted is me of being in etimes al returne plastic s, uld I tants. hell wo affect my rely the live goodne with all not on BB looters itio care? . which d to n open letter are still at large, still able to join life sus our its exp I or n’t affe we fulfilled C Ne It ss for and it tained until there’l shows are know how Yay! comes were ws dec re heard loitativ ct the sure as . us to but It’s l be “taking Sus and still have to I recognise entran e societies goingthe ability laring feast other our who headlin time for minimu from benefit tainme The t’s life back to go; they upon. loc them won’t an early nt cos rubbis s m wa their workin – or and al HMV afte winsexist remarks to racist judges es detailing favour on has easy policin t to the hy dish out ge; eith or from a g at com to ite taxpay taxes. how mu news car the live fina , a band g and r the remem pletely wronge hate each ir you comfeel disenc er way it £132 whothat makes off campus. eer, One lmore ch the and issue compen er for other, is get failed. career hanted million ber Leo e to e jokey actually get actual talking me despair hope som contes d contes then, sat . A when So, we feel unv (Hey, tan ly bou n Jackso of at this decision tha tan act tha is the continual flawed ion: a should alued. kid the ts ex-par ts, wrongeto winner winning, Marxis t this wa t logic If I am ght his sin n? People “We and to has s tne references in the letter pastnooffences. t not con d six wh to wa gle televisi when y kissed onc rs and anythin struggle some gre cannot month o you wo the actual tch som !) vict that at they on, rath g su e n’t s mo Citing that they have received complaints co at I gg e time. er we people dollop gift tha in a mo vacuou don’t re nvinc a par est Add a know in t just re twelve wa ment primal. Per than ly that man of five steam of years, predictheofclub ! It’s tyagainst keeps con for a number the realise the nt to hel s single per of pen haps, Well, tro ev ing the tab on p ver t min an ery up ir until giving sy, d paying ang and you leinove see, bin. The son dec involv dream boo . undertones letter that have utes of seems like a knee-jerk reaction by those on I onl woma ides to er, a t cam sed aresom ’ve got ther-u e they ed y wa I watch £3 a minute fame wh s It’s bec fast bec idea of vio p. You phrase n kick a popula offences, conscio tchban made very len ile e for beena compiling Union Council,astheaus decision to . Tha thethe s waiting the aud r tele predic these laugh for audclub and it ause it is so ce spread some t’s wh visi of yet itions table itions be ba us decision a at peo s reason is for compel patternto on. perfect opportunity makesenasemove has not attempted resolve the issue in the “I fin be the wh to to ple and - so I cany seems d tha , this rea ling . to d the of self ole pro as entran I have that the t day” feel son tha , I mashould raw ‘talmanner. the peo ced were aand thewh club. incident the right or proper ces events bitban t it y con -satisfaction a smug ole Each not a ent’ and s of taking with ...dare proce perban conscio of Augus then-b ple who to cut fectlywas an som bedtreated irrespective thestantly dou . While Firstly, the announced almost meldin I say st kno ss at leaof were s urning t unint individually, marke bt my g into e their w melds on our sense, rather or unemp us reactio it...fa streets table self, level. n loyme perfec investigation ke who, previous as theAnI haven’t sun sympto instantly, without into actions ofers even ting” players in a mo profit the we concep either nt, in nat tly wit if ma Truth a leg but ional we d isn all wa k to ral that t of Ch placeh the is, I’m to incidents “over letter relates a number the allegations taking a formal sicknes tic of a gre tch X-F ’t that watch and are har al sense. shall do so people ristma in mo a hea at s: so it Acts actor? why s. Som dern con I don’t rtless been attending equiva bec ause and oftemful to to los have such years”,acthave the setting, or consulting those involved the of many ehoin testan bItch ually not the live which it’s the We lent e, con w, little ts. car of a show, identit everyd n to the for a ditions lihood about University for somee time. various incidents, both perpetrators andabout Victor modern mindle talent The hea y small ay ma ian frea a sm and it contest unpuni ss riot are perfec wo n sho lth of the The isnthe never . t A blanket ban cluballwill shed, victims. Disagree k ’t and uld not am not nder wh has on demogr convin the with so bee a larg ount of act y it has go Wantand what col cingly but we aphic Secondly, is at heart of result in disciplinary n.action ual tale amoun vocallyfor ethose methe man overwh lected cannot to vo sugges thing of nt, rioters t of and ice a judgin said? who have sullied the reputation )of made workin elmingly woma t that every Men’s the issue, is that the Union is punishing comp g stra silently (or wa Go s a n g clas ngers. lain t an op involv be bad conscious the young s ma Emaail Rugby, and that of the University as a the club for the actions committedt?by kin les, pre decisio ed that concret inion you find suffers d of ind cisely n to yourse day. Wh wa ividual It further small minority. The actions of these people whole. e.cwill nt hetarnish relations en luck, omonly lf dow purpos from a ard? ment@ you elessn n on you feeling that and its clubs, who will cannot and do not represent the values of between the Union will means –in-fiv uea.a ess your tak of e of the . After c.uof k place will all, gratific you can to e whatever and the club itself, values that the Union deems perceive that any step out m is job unemp one ation achiev betterscarce opport e the loyed sug the club to have lost a sight of. Taking away result in a disproportionate reaction. It is paid unities lifesty gested when a nat in many by les, esp ion of region are a group’s collective right to play sport an unfortunate turn of events whereby an you a col define ecially peo find s. As lective yourse ourselv ple that will not change the mindset or attitudes entire team can be held entirely responsible collect lf in ofte es by riot ive our wo n it, and ly getting ing mass, of a limited few. The Union seems to be and punished with overt severely for the rk identit collective away wit washing its hands of the issue, arriving at actions of an unruly few. ly giv h y.

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COMMENT

Grassroots action can succeed where Westminster has failed On 3 May we will be asked once again to go to the polls in local elections. Some people may not even know they‘re coming up, or if they do, they don’t see the point in voting.

The Greens in Brighton (who lead a minority administration at City Hall down there) have refused to follow the coalition’s proposal of a council tax freeze, which would see £5.4m less to spend

ground. This example has thankfully not been followed in Norwich City Council, as Green opposition has urged the more mainstream Labour administration here to follow suit. Aside from protecting

is prepared to toe the party line. There are those willing to listen and carry a radical alternative upwards, as Green Party MP Caroline Lucas has shown for almost two years now. They offer a forum for new

“On 3 May, don’t give into hopelessness and apathy. We can make a difference from the bottom up” Many students at UEA may not be interested in worrying about Norwich if they come from elsewhere, or even know that they are automatically registered to vote if they live on campus. It is fact that real opposition comes from the grassroots level, and that makes these elections so important.

on essential services over two years. If we reject this freeze, we can save local services, all for an added cost of 11p more per household. Unfortunately, the Greens in Brighton were defeated by a coalition of Labour and Tory councillors, too tied to Westminster to do what’s right for people on the

the little revenue local authorities have, we can set the example by introducing a living wage of £7.20 in Norwich, so people don‘t have to work more than 60 hours per week just to put food on the table. Apart from these practical steps, local elections offer a platform to send a signal to Westminster that not everybody

ideas to breed and for people to develop the confidence to break the status quo, to stake out a new vision for the future. So, on 3 May, don’t give into hopelessness and apathy. We can make a difference from the bottom up. Robert Laird

We need united action to save public services Adrian Ramsay Deputy Leader, Green Party Nine years ago, as a UEA student, I campaigned vigorously against Labour’s top-up fees. I wasn’t personally affected (being in my final year), but I firmly believed that higher education should be accessible to all. Since that time, I’ve witnessed the barriers to education being raised even higher, while job opportunities diminish and public services are hacked apart. Some political parties will blame the economic crisis and claim that everyone is sharing the pain. But the truth is that young people and the most vulnerable are being forced to bear the brunt of cuts. The Green Party has long argued that we can save public services by clamping down on tax havens and tax evasion that rob more than £80bn from the UK’s public purse every year. A Robin Hood tax (on high-risk financial gambling that caused the economic crisis) could raise a further £20bn. But the current government and its Labour predecessors have turned a blind eye to big corporations, financial institutions and super-rich individuals who gain unfairly from lax tax and banking regulations. Young people have been dealt a barrage of cuts and broken promises, particularly in higher education. Labour introduced tuition fees in 1998 and later increased them to £3,000, despite their manifesto pledge that Labour “will not introduce topup fees and has legislated against them.” The Liberal Democrats pledged to abolish tuition fees, and then promptly allowed an increase to £9,000 when they entered government. The result of these broken promises is a 10% drop in applications for English universities in 2011. The Green Party is the only party that has consistently fought to abolish tuition fees. We believe that higher education is a

public service that benefits society and the economy. Free education is the foundation of a fair society where everyone can aspire to their goals, regardless of social background. And those students who benefit financially from their degree by entering a high-paid job will be paying more back into the system through income tax. It’s not just tuition fees that are raising the barrier to young people’s employment prospects. The loss of hundreds of thousands of public service jobs is making the pool of job options smaller and smaller. The scrapping of the Educational Maintenance Allowance (EMA) and cuts to post-16 transport subsidies are making it more difficult for young people from low-income families to continue in further education. Norfolk County Council has completely axed its youth services, which provided vital support to young people with the greatest needs. Savage cuts to the Connexions service mean that many unemployed young people can no longer access specialist advice to

help them into education or employment. These cuts are not just callous, they make no economic sense. An Audit Commission report showed that for every young person helped into employment, taxpayers save £200,000 (in social services, benefits, health and criminal justice) and gain £90,000 in income tax and national insurance. Does it make sense to slash a service that improves lives, reduces crime, and makes huge savings for taxpayers? The same flaw exists in the economic case for social care cuts. Take mental health services. With one in four people now experiencing mental health issues, the charity MIND has highlighted that cuts to mental health services are shutting many people out from vital treatment. Yet the costs of treating mental illness in the early stages are far less than the long-term costs of neglect, when people end up in hospital, unemployed or homeless. Whatever the economic case, we need to ask what kind of society we want to live in. Do we want a compassionate society where vulnerable people can access the

support they need? Or do we want a callous society where all safety nets have been ripped away? Green Party councillors in Norwich successfully campaigned to stop some of the most damaging cuts to care services in Norfolk. Cutting support for vulnerable people leads to higher costs for the NHS when conditions worsen. Yet the government’s plans will put further strain on the NHS by continuing along the privatisation path started by Labour’s costly PFI schemes. The Government wants to put the bulk of the NHS budget and power into the hands of GP consortia. These consortia will operate like commercial businesses, buying in care from “any willing provider” including private companies. Can GPs really provide the best patient care while keeping a constant eye on profits? The plans are so damaging that the Royal College of General Practitioners, the Royal College of Nursing, the Royal College of Midwives, and the British Medical Association have urged the government to stop. And most GPs don’t want it either: an Ipsos Mori survey found that 89% think services will be fragmented and 65% think quality of care will decline. There is great concern that private companies will place profits before patients by creaming off the most profitable care and leaving an underfunded NHS to deal with the unprofitable but essential elements. The attack on public services is relentless. The three big parties seem determined to palm off our public services into private hands and we must be equally determined to stop them. Will our public services change forever? That depends on whom we elect to parliament and local council. We can choose politicians who make empty promises or we can choose genuine campaigners who will champion our public services and fight for social justice.

COMMENT

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Surveillance protects us, but we need accountability One thing we can all agree on is how poorly Her Majesty’s government’s communications wing has been of late. Whether it’s pastygate or the Liberal Democrat contingent leaking ad nauseum in an attempt to swing discussion on the budget its way, our government has proven divided in their messaging. Muddle abounds in the government’s internet snooping policy proposals. Is it to catch terrorists or paedophiles? And is it an old Labour bill or something as of yet completely unwritten? Are we heading for a Big Brothertype society as a result of these proposals though? Not really. The proposals are not an eavesdropper’s charter; the remit is recording contact made, not communications relayed. Criminals use the Royal Mail and landline phones with

the risk of being found, they should not be able to treat the internet as a clandestine communication system. Skype should be treated in the same way phone calls, email like real mail etc. The challenge is balance. First, we need universal legal principles applied to government surveillance as a whole, rather than the fragmented situation where different internet services, mail,

communications networks is likely built in by the manufacturers. Britain is only one wired country among many. Presented with the demand from some countries for snooping capability, it is highly likely that manufacturers will make eavesdropping facilities easily accessible, leaving it to the conscience of the government in situ. Any expansion of snooping powers will have more of an immediate effect on

“The proposals are not an eavesdropper’s charter; the remit is recording contact made, not communications relayed” and mobile phones are all treated differently. Second, we need to advance the agenda of protecting our information from corporations or governments who want to appropriate it on a whim. Any snooping capacity on

the courts than detectives and spooks. It takes time to expand interception capabilities (unless you merely have to turn them on). The real thrust is probably that information once considered too revelatory of surveillance techniques

will soon be able to be shown in court with secrecy procedures in place. Of course, it is difficult to know the nature of information treated as leads in investigations, but not shown in court at all. The proposals currently mooted probably do not signify a Big Brother state. Rather, they show a cavalier attitude on privacy and accountability issues. I do not believe that the government wants to institute a Stasi system, but that it lacks the imagination to pursue a radical accountability agenda, something that could take the current political stress out of taxation, too. In the absence of this, the overwhelming temptation is to hoover up more information in the hope that subsequent events will prove it right. George Hamilton-Jones

Human rights are fundamental, but we are negating them for Abu Qatada Why does this government seem quite so desperate to dispense with the Human Rights Act when it is one of the most important pieces of legislation ever passed? The increasing disdain for human rights is graphically demonstrated by the case of Abu Qatada. The government is determined to extradite him to Jordan, even though there is a strong chance that he will not receive a fair trial and may even be tortured. Qatada has been in prison in Britain for almost 10 years on and off, yet he has not been charged with a single offence, or been allowed to see any of the evidence against him. This seems

knowing full well that this could only happen with the consent of the European Court of Justice. Labour has performed no better. Rather than seeking to make a clean break with the Blair years, where human rights played second fiddle to being “tough on terror”, Yvette Cooper has demanded that Qatada be deported as well. Even the Liberal Democrats, who normally seek to defend civil liberties, have been supportive of deportation. It seems insane that human rights can in any way be regarded as a bad thing, but we seem to have reached that point in many sections of society, with the tabloid press continually running stories of strange court decisions supposedly

“This realisation that the law applies just as much to “hate preachers” such as Abu Qatada, as anyone else in society, has proved to be difficult to stomach for many people” truly bizarre when he has supposedly radicalised thousands of people. It also goes against the basic human right to receive a fair trial and know what you are accused of. Then again, as Frankie Boyle aptly put it, Tony Blair is responsible for radicalising far more Muslims than Qatada, and he is yet to be prosecuted. The whole affair has now descended into cheap party politics, with Theresa May farcically claiming that Qatada was to be imminently deported, despite

caused by having to abide by the Human Rights Act. This realisation that the law applies just as much to “hate preachers” such as Abu Qatada as anyone else in society has proved difficult to stomach for many people. But if we were to apply the same standards of human rights that he would, we would show ourselves to be little better than extremists such as himself. The attempt to deport Abu Qatada follows on from the recent decision

that Abu Hamza and five other terrorist suspects can be deported to the US, even though they face the prospect of spending life in solitary confinement in a maximum security prison. Similarly, the government is pushing ahead with plans to extradite Gary McKinnon and Richard O’Dwyer, who are both accused of nonserious computer offences, but could still face long jail terms in the US. In O’Dwyer’s case, it is debatable whether the offence he is accused of, setting up a file-sharing website, is even a crime in this country. His website was not even hosted in the US, making the extradition seem even more bizarre. This

represents an affront not only to human rights, but also to British sovereignty, which is hugely negated by our incredibly one sided extradition treaty with the US. The recent attacks on human rights legislation by the government and the courts represent a worrying development. If Qatada is actually guilty of any crime he should be put on trial in Britain. If not, he must be released. To do otherwise is to risk embarking on an irreversible breakdown of our fundamental human rights. Tim Rose

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TRAVEL

What happens in Vegas ...

... goes in Concrete Louis Keveren

It’s the ultimate playground. Instead of swings, seesaws and slides, you’ll find swingers, slot machines and strip shows. Brash, glamorous and unapologetically ridiculous, Vegas will give you the ride of your life, as Louis Keveren discovered on his visit to Sin City Visiting Las Vegas is a dream that many people hold. When your mum says that she is getting married there a few months after you turn 21, there isn’t a better time to visit. Cemented in my mind as the place where madness occurs, I had visions of The Hangover and believed, due to my usual luck, that I would end up being the unfortunate character left to slowly roast on the roof. With this in mind, I packed my bottle of water, factor 40 sun cream and a few other survival essentials, and boarded a plane to Vegas. We drove for six hours through the desert, seeing nothing but dust and sand until a mixture of crazily shaped mega structures appeared on the horizon. What most people do not understand is the sheer size of the hotel resorts along the famous Las Vegas Strip. Our hotel, the famous Luxor, had a giant sphinx as the front door and we stayed in our very own Egyptian pyramid. Walking down the Strip, past the outlandish hotels, we saw the iconic Bellagio, its fountains spurting jets of water into the sky every hour in front of hundreds of gawping visitors. We entered The Venetian Hotel

and were intrigued to see a man on a gondola serenading a couple while rowing down a river. Surreal as that was, what is more bemusing is that the river which flows through the hotel is located on the second floor. Continuing along the Strip, we walked for more than ten miles but, exhausted and wanting to turn back, we discovered that we had only traipsed along a third of the Strip’s length. The sheer immensity of this city is just staggering. Simply walking past the entrances to the many hotels shows you why people flood to this city in their droves. There are so many different things happening all around you, from a bar which is completely made of ice and is constantly at -5 degrees, to watching people throw themselves off the 1,149 ft high Stratosphere Casino Tower. In Vegas, impossible is two letters too long. Anything goes in this city, including all of your money if you get sucked in by the bright lights of the casinos. However, just by walking through the city, you’ll be overawed by the wealth and wackiness of this wonderful mini-world. Just don’t blow all your student loan at once.

Macau: The Far East Vegas Brimming with confidence and overflowing with chips, Macau is the Las Vegas of the Far East. Though only a short ferry ride from Hong Kong and mainland China, the tiny enclave (4 square miles smaller than Norwich) could not be further from its neighbours. A neon-glowing cash cow in the South China Sea, Asia’s Sin City is a prime example of capitalism in full swing. The history of the region is primarily dominated by colonial Portuguese rule, which lasted from the early 16th century until 1999, when it was handed back to the People’s Republic of China. Since the Portuguese first landed on the Macanese coast the territory has become an economic power-house primarily reliant on tourism. Over 20 million tourists annually flock to Macau to try their hand in one of the region’s hundreds of casinos. Tourists also come to witness such international events as the Macau Grand Prix, Zaia (the permanent Cirque du Soleil production at The Venetian hotel) and the International Fireworks Display. Yet for all its glitz and glamour, Macau is all fur coat and no knickers. Unless you are willing to splash the cash, the special administrative region is not worth the time or money to visit. From the moment you

step onto the Macau ferry pier, everything authentic and natural disappears, to be replaced by everything and anything synthetic and man-made. As you make your way through the streets of the enclave, you will be overwhelmed by high-rise casinos and construction sites exhibiting what the future of Macau has to offer. The only trees that line the Macanese boulevards are plastic, and the many statues that advertise the city’s casinos are monuments to man’s greed and materialism. The artificial nature of Macau continues once you enter one of the region’s abundant casinos. Garish decorations adorn the walls, dimmed lights ensure customers believe it is still the early hours of the evening (and so carry on gambling), and in The Venetian, a replica canal meanders its way through the complex. Unless you’re a “Richie Rich” playboy, Macau is best left off your “places to go” list. The extraordinary Zaia production and the annual Macau International Fireworks Display are certainly great experiences, but they do not save the fact that Macau is nothing more than a pretentious, loud, wannabe Vegas. Cameron Tucker

TRAVEL

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Bask in the beauty of the Balkans The former Yugoslavia is a travel must. Characterised by breath-taking scenery, a fratricidal and fractured recent past and deeply welcoming people, the region makes a refreshing change from more traditional destinations. Having said this, it is hardly “untouched”: the Dalmatian coastal resorts of Split and Dubrovnik have, for decades, been inundated with western tourists. However, travelling around the western Balkans does force you to try a little harder, and immerse yourself in the local culture: be that experimenting with the excellent local beers, declaring a moratorium on vegetables to eat endless

cevapii and burek (meat in pitta bread and meat patties respectively), or attempting to speak the various languages of the region. Starting in Ljubljana or Zagreb (via a reasonable EasyJet flight from the UK) is a great way of getting to the region, but the rather cosy Italian and central European feel of both contrast heavily with Serbia. This country has plenty to offer, particularly Novi Sad, a charming student city just north of the capital, Belgrade, with an Austro-Hungarian feel and the small matter of EXIT Festival taking place every summer in the imposing Petrovaradin Fortress, which overlooks the town.

Chris King

Beware though, if you begin your journey in the north-west, you’ll become accustomed to English being spoken everywhere you go. Serbia offers a slightly more authentic Balkan experience; ours came in the form of a hostel where none of the owners spoke a word of English. In terms of a favourite destination, Sarajevo was by far the jewel in the Balkan crown. Split between Austro-Hungarian and Ottoman influences, Sarajevo’s history is fascinating. Long at the centre of two cultural divides, in April 1992 the city was placed under a siege that lasted nearly four years. The shell craters along the city pavements, particularly on “sniper alley”, which have been filled in with red paint to symbolise the blood of the 1,500 people killed, attest to this. The rest of the trip really illustrated the tremendous beauty of the western Balkans. The nine hour train journey from Belgrade to Sarajevo takes you through regions that, not 20 years ago, were torn apart by war and still bear a number of scars. Along hillside passes and through great valleys, signs by the side of the road warn of the presence of land mines. Many homes and buildings are riddled with bullet holes.

The best part of travelling in this region, however, is the people. You genuinely are made to feel as though you are entering the homes of everywhere you stay. When returning home, you come away from this region with a sense of slight sadness really; all this was so nearly lost, and even now, we met individuals who had not a good word to say about former neighbours, friends and colleagues. In terms of when to go, visiting in the off-season involves a certain trade-off. Hostel prices are slashed, sometimes by up to a third, and rooms rarely exceed £12 per night. In enjoying this ludicrously reasonable rate, however, be prepared to sacrifice the prospect of meeting as many like-minded travellers en masse as you would in summer. You may also have to accept that rain is an inevitable part of any trip made in April, so don’t feel too aggrieved if your stay in Kotor, Montenegro’s tourist gem which relies on bright summer sunshine, is a bit of a wash out. All in all though, with three weeks travelling easily done on £1,000 in total, including flights, as a travel experience it cannot be beaten. Chris King

Open your eyes (and your couch) to the world My “mission statement” demonstrates that I aim to use the Couchsurfing network, ‘To learn as much as I can about the world, and the people who make it the beautiful place that it is. I want to hear stories, taste flavours, see sights that are alien and challenge everything I’ve ever known.’ Following a year of being involved with this international travelling community, and recently organising a promotional event at The Forum in Norwich, I feel that it’s a good time to reflect upon my Couchsurfing experiences so far, with the hope of encouraging more people to join. Couchsurfing is like a shaft of heavenly light to student travellers who want to authentically experience the world on a smile and a shoestring budget. When I look through windows, and imagine the world that stretches further than the surrounding horizon, it now seems that much smaller and much more friendly. Couchsurfing.org officially started in 1999 and was set up by the forward thinking Casey Fenton, in California. The golden rays of the sunshine state have radiated across communities worldwide: at last count there are 4,084,467 members, which includes surfers even in the Antarctic region. Each community has its own identity, and reflects the vibrancy and cosmopolitan nature of the people who make it up. The Norwich community

numbers totalled 466 members and this has doubled in the past year. One explanation for people flocking to travel and share experiences through Couchsurfing is that it offers free accommodation worldwide in some of the most mind-blowingly attractive locations. Another is that the richness and cultural texture felt through Couchsurfing is one that is unattainable by staying at a hotel or hostel. Couchsurfing. org explains it as having an interesting friend, everywhere in the world. Imagine going to a new place, and feeling as if you’ve found a home within minutes of arriving. I speak for myself, and many others, when I say I want to experience a world that is challenging to the one I know, and Couchsurfing makes that happen. It promotes cultural exchanges and I still write and receive letters from many of the people who so kindly opened their homes when I was away. I have used Couchsurfing to travel across Italy, Slovenia, Croatia, Hungary, Romania, Bulgaria, Turkey, England and Scotland, in many different ways, and have so many more plans in place for the future. One of the more memorable experiences happened recently as I used Couchsurfing on a sponsored walk from Norwich to Cambridge that a friend and I completed. We arrived in Methwold, after getting very lost, to find out that our host planned

to camp in a tent outside so that we both had enoughspace to sleep. He had filled his cupboards with food that he encouraged us to feel at home enough to eat whenever we were hungry, and regaled us with entertaining tales of his long distance walking, artistic children, and his very own travelling experiences. A good friend of mine, who I have met through the Norwich Couchsurfing network, spent six months being hosted in India, where some of her families gifted her with beautiful saris that are only found in the areas they lived. One of my best friends, who introduced me to the community last year, hitchhiked and Couchsurfed across Canada for three months, taking only £300 with her, and having one of the most incredible times of

her life. It’s not uncommon for hosts to give you the keys to their house, or introduce you to their friends. The focus is not about making money as Couchsurfing is strictly free, but rather its an exchange of skills, time, friendship and trust. I have learnt to make traditional Romanian, Italian and Bulgarian dishes. Friends of mine have learnt languages and I hope someone will teach me to horse ride, cartwheel, and speak better French. What do you want to learn about, and what skills can you teach? Whatever you’re curious about, and whatever you have to offer, Couchsurfing is a good place to start sharing it with the world. Kate Marks

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FEATURES

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www.concrete-online.co.uk Tuesday 1 May 2012 - Issue 269

UEA 2011-12: A year in headlines COLDPLAY SELL OUT THE LCR

Who could forget when one of the world’s biggest bands came to the LCR back in October? Thousands of students queued up to 48 hours before tickets went on sale, and the Hive was kept open over night to provide a warm place for the queuing fans to stay. Prior to the gig, Coldplay played a Live Lounge session for BBC Radio 1 in the Union bar. Front man, Chris Martin, told Concrete that he was humbled to play in front of such a small crowd, as it gives a reminder to the band why they enjoy making music. The gig itself lasted an hour, where Coldplay played some of their greatest hits including Yellow, Viva La Vida, Paradise, Fix You and, during the encore, fan favourites from their earlier albums. It is unlikely that a band of such magnitude will come to the LCR in the near future. Concrete’s interview with Coldplay is available on our website.

SCHOOL OF MUSIC CLOSED DESPITE POPULARITY OF “SAVE UEA MUSIC” CAMPAIGN THE CONCRETE SEX AND DRUGS SURVEY

Undoubtedly the biggest news of the year, the closure of the School of Music was a story that raged on through most of the autumn semester. The “Save UEA Music” campaign attempted to prevent the closure of the school, but to no avail, as University council took the decision to close it on 28 November.

Concrete’s sex survey returned after a year’s abstinence with the results published in the “sex issue” of Concrete, released on Valentine’s Day. We were really pleased at how the issue went down with students and we sincerely hope you’ll come back for more next year, where the sex survey promises to be raunchier than ever. Along with this, Concrete conducted a drugs and alcohol survey and the results proved to be very interesting. The survey revealed that just under 70% of students have taken illegal drugs and that nearly 40% of students feel pressured to drink by their peers.

UEA SUFFERS DERBY DAY LOSS

Hundreds of students travelled to the University of Essex in early March to compete in Derby Day. Despite heroic performances, UEA lost 27-16. Derby Day will return to our campus in 2013, however, where UEA will strive to reclaim the coveted trophy and set the record straight.

UNION’S HUGE DEFICIT REVEALED

Concrete analysed publicly available documents in February and uncovered that the Union of UEA Students is facing a £250,000 deficit. This has resulted from continuously declining revenue from the Union bars and LCR club nights in comparison to recent years. The LCR generated almost £20,000 less this year than previously. However, the travel shop and the UFO have brought in small profits. The extent of the crisis was revealed when the Union proceeded to cut student staff pay by 49p per hour. However, it does still offer a very competitive wage to staff, as well as a job that guarantees flexible hours so students can continue to prioritise their studies.

STUDENTS ELECT NEW FULL TIME OFFICERS

RUGBY CLUB BANNED BY THE UNION

Controversial news emerged at the end of last semester that UEA Men’s Rugby would not be in operation next year, after the Union decided to ban the club over complaints of racist abuse and sexism. Allegations arose concerning the behaviour of the club, pertaining specifically to certain members dressing up as figures including Baby P and Ugandan Lord’s Resistance Army leader Joseph Kony for a “bad taste” social. Rugby have appealed against the ban, but the decision was upheld at an emergency Union Council meeting on 23 April. The Union has said that student welfare was a priority in making the decision.

Just under 2,000 students voted in this year’s Union elections, which saw Matt Myles, Joe Levell, Josh Bowker and Sam Clark elected as the full time officers for the 201213 academic year. Not only was there a rigorous campaign from all candidates, but the Union made a greater effort to publicise the electoral process after a poor turnout last year. Voter numbers did increase, however they still fell more than 500 votes short of the target of 2,500.

UEA ENTERS TOP 150

News emerged last year that UEA had been ranked 145th in the Times Higher Education World University Rankings. This was an improvement on previous years’ placing, demonstrating the University’s continuing academic improvement.

www.concrete-online.co.uk Tuesday 1 May 2012 - Issue 269

FEATURES

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Leeway Women’s Shelter Susanna Wood provides a concise history of Norfolk’s women’s shelter as well as studying the work the carers

Nestled away in an anonymous part of suburban Norwich, there is a haven for women forced to leave their home due to domestic abuse. You wouldn’t know if you walked past it, but this shelter has saved the livelihoods of women from all corners of the country. Leeway is an East Anglian organisation, and has been providing women a safe place to escape from domestic violence for nearly 40 years. Women and their children come from all over the country to Norfolk’s shelters; sometimes a lack of bed space forces them to journey from afar, but more often the women request to be as far away from their attacker as possible. “Domestic abuse” is one of those things that tends not to be discussed openly, with many assuming it is the sort of issue that affects only a “certain type” of person. In fact, domestic abuse is something which transcends class, age, race and gender boundaries. One in four women will suffer from it at some point in their lives. In Norfolk alone, there are approximately 10,000 reports of domestic violence a year. Keeping this haven safe is a tough job. Women who enter have to obey rules to preserve their safety, and CCTV, panic buttons and locked doors feature throughout the refuge. As the staff explain, it is impossible to make it completely secure, but they feel it is more sensible to blend in with the environment outside than to make a big deal out of their presence through excess security measures. Today, Leeway works closely

with the police, but it hasn’t always been that way. Back at the organisation’s birth in the 1970s, the police turned a blind eye to domestic violence, generally viewing it as the husband’s right to hit his wife and children. These days, Leeway and Norfolk Constabulary have an interdependent relationship. There are 12 flats in the refuge: the rooms are spacious, airy and clean, offering the women much-needed privacy and comfort. The refuge is sparcely but comfortably furnished, with a communal lounge and a pleasant garden. There is also a flat specially designed for disabled women and children; Leeway is proud that it can offer a service that is so desperately needed by the sizeable amount of disabled women and children in this country whom endure domestic violence. The staff I spoke to are sympathetic to the plight of male victims of domestic abuse, but the shelter itself is a defiantly female domain. As one care worker tells me, “men don’t usually need to flee their home.” Time spent at the refuge varies from woman to woman. Some stay a few nights; some, a few years. Often women have to wait for housing to become available. Others want to move to a shelter closer to their friends or family. Many women return to the perpetrator. The staff at the shelter are warm and non-judgemental, though there’s a sadness in the eyes of the carer who tells me about a woman who keenly returned to her partner after a few months with Leeway, only to be back in

the shelter a few days later. The legal system for domestic abuse cases seems to be improving, but it still has a long way to go. Leeway supports its women by assigning them courtbased workers and recommending good advocacy services. However, as most domestic violence cases avoid a prison sentence, some perpetrators seem to continually get away with it, and still many women end up withdrawing their sentences because they’re frightened of the repercussions. The women aren’t angry, but seem bemused at the way their service is put under so much strain. It seems mad that a man arrested for domestic violence will be released the same evening and sent home, forcing his partner and children to move to a refuge for shelter. In Norfolk there is a Sanctuary Scheme, which helps women to equip their home with security measures to ensure they do not feel threatened. However, with the council hard-pressed for funds during this economic downturn, schemes such as this one are painfully neglected. Norfolk suffers for a culture of taboo, especially in rural communities. “There’s such a stigma attached. People think they know each other so well, and something like domestic violence couldn’t possibly happen in their village,” the staff explain. This lack of understanding is tackled by Leeway through their work in the community, which aims to shake off the stigma attached to dealing with domestic violence. What is clear, is that domestic

abuse can happen to anyone in any strata of society. The refuge itself tends to cater more for women at the lower end of the economic spectrum, purely for the reason that women receiving benefits can stay at the shelter entirely for free. Leeway, however, offers support to any person suffering from domestic violence, including men. There are also two refuges for male victims in the UK. Unfortunately, Leeway is often dismissed by businessmen looking to make a donation to a local charity. Domestic violence is still a taboo, and wilfully misunderstood. The question most often asked is why the women do not leave. It shows a massive lack of cultural awareness; often women simply can’t leave. Furthermore, it is hopelessly naive for any person to assume that domestic violence simply isn’t happening in their social circle. On National Women’s Day this year, David Cameron announced that stopping violence against women is a priority for the government, stating: “Violence against women is an iceberg under the surface of society ... every day millions around the world live in fear.” Unfortunately, domestic abuse goes on unchallenged each day. Hopefully one day shelters like the one provided by Leeway will no longer be needed, but until then, women can sleep a little bit safer in the knowledge that there is a support network out there which truly cares. If you need help or support you can contact Leeway on 0845 2412171.

INTERNATIONAL

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Experiencing Australia the student way International writer Robert Norris shares his experience of studying in Canberra as part of UEA’s Erasmus programme Everyone has a soft spot for the Australian stereotype: I would have loved for all of the students at the Australian National University to travel to lectures on the back of an emu or to spend every day in the company of kangaroos (although in the suburbs of Canberra, this sometimes isn’t so far from the truth).

took a bit of getting used to. It may have taken a few weeks, but I’m finally getting settled in and beginning to enjoy this very different world of education. Australia, it goes without saying, is an amazing place. Even when you’re not based in one of the country’s larger cities, there’s still a lot to see and do. Despite the

“On 3 May, don’t give into hopelessness and apathy” After spending two months at an Australian university I have learnt that students here put a lot of effort into their studies. The fairly rigorous workload here is one of the many small cultural shocks I have experienced since arriving. Another shock is that nearly all shops and restaurants in Canberra seem to require you to spend over $20 or $30 to pay with your debit card. A third surprise is just how long it takes to travel from one place to another. Prior to my arrival, my Australian housemate told me to get a bike and cycle into campus every day like he did. I assumed it would be perhaps a 20 minute journey, but once I arrived I found out it took him an hour each way! I spent the money I’d saved up for a bike on a handy bus pass instead. After spending a year and a half at UEA, adjusting to a completely new university and a fresh way of doing things took time. The freedom of handing in coursework any time before midnight on the due date to a strict “no later than 4:30pm” policy

capital, Canberrra is not a very big city, mainly consisting of very quiet suburbs. The local students don’t seem very fond of the city; neither do those who live outside of it. However, there is certainly something about Canberra: the fact that it is somewhere between a city, university town and a rural landscape. It is a wonderful feeling finishing a full day of lectures and being able to kayak along the city’s signature Lake Burley Griffin. The Australian Parliament House and War Memorial are amazing structures, and it’s always handy having the National Library so close to campus. Canberra is often affectionately known as the Bush Capital, and the city does indeed have a large amount of wildlife, with kangaroos occupying the botanical gardens behind campus. Altogether Canberra may not have the most exciting sights in Australia, but it is still a remarkable place to study. Just remember to pay cash in restaurants!

Around the world in one click Isabelle Carty | International writer In 1998 only a handful of countries had extensive internet usage. Today, nearly two billion people worldwide have ready access to the internet. Gone are the days when the world seemed a vast and inaccessible abyss to many who were limited to their own countries and even their own homes. The advancement of modern technology makes the world seem smaller and more connected every day. Homebound individuals and leisurely browsers alike can peruse the online resources of one country while making friends in another, all from the comfort of their own homes. Internet users may not be able to feel a cool breeze brush past their skin from a beach front in Dubai, or taste the salty sea water while on a speedboat in the Caribbean, but they can still experience one aspect of a dream holiday via online

videos and pictures. This virtual, online world has become almost second nature to younger and older generations alike. Browsers can feel the thrill of a casino in Las Vegas without having to spend any real money, or go on a video tour of multiple European destinations without ever having to get on a plane. The history and culture of every country imaginable have never been as accessible or as frequently explored as they are today, thanks to the growing ubiquity of the internet. However, there is a danger: a disconnection that comes with an overreliance on virtual exploration and a lack of actual physical exploration. Yet if a symbiosis between the two can be achieved, the possibilities are endless. Indeed, one truth cannot be denied, and that is that the internet has done more to connect and unite people, ideas and cultures throughout the world than anyone living in a pre-internet age could ever have imagined.

www.concrete-online.co.uk Tuesday 1 May 2012 - Issue 269

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LIFESTYLE

101 tips Norwich’s street symphony For students, by students In the final instalment of this academic year, Lifestyle writers offer their invaluable advice and infinite wisdom

53.

Love your library; you’ll miss it when you’re gone! Emma Williamson

54.

Find the space where you work most productively and don’t push deadlines, old advice that never seems to go out of fashion.

Alex Valentine

55.

Be nice to everyone, you never know who will end up in your seminar group next September. Emma Williamson

56.

Make sure you get plenty of sleep. Being tired is never productive, especially during exams and the revision period.

Chris Teale

57.

Instead of a coffee, purchase a smoothie: it is great for revision and better for you than caffeine!

Hasina Allen

58.

Make sure you’re revising the right subjects for your exams, otherwise you have a lot more work in front of you. Harry Slater

If you have a tip that you would like to share with the rest of campus, tweet us at: @Concrete_LifeS #101tips

Rebecca Hazlewood describes the delights provided by the musicians that fill our city’s streets If you ever find yourself out of pocket, bored sick of the TV and tired of all your Spotify playlists, don’t just sit around and wait for the next instalment of your loan. You need look no further than the 25 bus or your rusting bike to take you into the cultural centre that is our “fine city” of Norwich, to provide you with a wealth of unique and innovative musical entertainment. You need no appointed time of day or night (although a sunny Saturday is usually best), and don’t have to spend a penny (although donations are always gratefully received). The city centre is thriving with a wealth of street performers catering to all tastes. In fact, for originality and diversity, it might even surpass London. Not to mention the entertainment value. Here, we have music, dancing, fancy dress and ferrets, and at every street corner nestles a different treat for the eyes and ears. Let us start in the market place, where you can often find a lovely Liverpudlian strumming away outside Primark, singing his heart out to an Oasis classic or a heart-wrenching James Blunt ballad. Always a good option for those with a mainstream music preference, he makes the trip down to Norwich for a few weeks at a time, so catch him when you can. Often competing for sound waves in this amphitheatre-style hot spot is an operatic tenor outside McDonalds, and a teenager outside Topshop, singing highly improvised and tuneful versions of the Arctic Monkeys, among other top indie rock hits.

It is at this prime location you will often find the internationally renowned Puppet Man of Norwich. Dear old Dave Perry has become so well known he even has his own Wikipedia page. He epitomises the Norwich busking scene, with his unusual style of dancing, a variety of straggly (and sometimes frighteningly ugly) puppets and a karaoke machine (although he creatively chooses to sing different lyrics and songs to his machine). Norwich’s very own Elvis may give Puppet Man a run for his money in terms of dancing talent and can be found at all

hours of the day, regardless of whether there are people around or not. After something a little more tuneful? Wander down towards Jarrolds and you can find another historic addition to our tour. The He Hew’s five piece band have been entertaining shoppers here for more than half a century and have even released a single dedicated to the city. Keep your eyes and ears wide open, there are plenty more acts out there to discover, guaranteed to turn the most mundane shopping trip into an entertaining musical feast.

Confessions of an editor You need three things to be an editor. First of all, punctuality and good organisation is required. Second, you must have an incredibly thick skin and the ability to be professional when all you want to do is publish every libellous rumour you’ve ever heard. Finally, an endless supply of coffee is utterly essential. Given that my timekeeping is about as good as Greater Anglia’s, I probably fail on the first count. As far as the second goes: the total of zero lawsuits speaks for itself. And finally, the Union of UEA Students must be credited for keeping a (relatively) plentiful supply of the wonderful caffeinated mixture that I drink rather too much of. Back in February, the following question was asked: “What does an editor actually do?” Rather than answer this with latent sarcasm, I should point out its validity and attempt to formulate a coherent response. In essence, an editor is rather like a glorified cleaner. People produce work, which in the case of my

editors, is fantastic, and I spend hours on end fiddling with lines, moving commas and all the other details that make this such a vital job - akin to a heart surgeon, or even a lifeboat commander. In many cases, a newspaper mirrors the

personality and interests of its editor. Being a rather boring soul, I’ve deliberately tried to eliminate any trace of my personality from Concrete, and it has mercifully remained professional and credible as a result. Moving back to the importance of the role, so far this year I’ve taken on many vital responsibilities: Spotify playlist management, a skill that will soon be on my CV, has been key to preventing several meltdowns among the editorial staff, while I’ve also managed to pull off being an absolute liability on society socials with aplomb. To anyone looking to become an editor in the future, these are all skills you have to master. If, after a year, you emerge from the newsroom having not killed anyone, avoided being sued, and without a crippling caffeine addiction, you’ll have done very well indeed. Chris King

LIFESTYLE

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www.concrete-online.co.uk Tuesday 1 May 2012 - Issue 269

A farewell from Clive

A letter from our favourite bus driver and resident agony uncle Clive Ashcroft

Hello readers, I hope you are all well and that revision is on track. Due to disagreements with certain management leading to my departure from 25s/35s, it has been necessary to seek employment with another bus company, which leads me to tell you that Clive Cares is also sadly coming to an end, as this is the last edition of Concrete this academic year. I have greatly enjoyed doing Clive Cares over the last two years and I hope I have helped someone with my suggestions and that the readers have enjoyed reading my advice. This being the end of an era with the students, I wanted to take this opportunity to say I will never forget our years together, it has all been good fun! Your safety was my main concern and I thank you all for your kindness and loyalty over the years. Wishing you all every happiness for the future, good luck with your careers and take care. Here are some of my favourite problems from the last two years, enjoy! Lots of love,

Clive x

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www.concrete-online.co.uk Tuesday 1 May 2012 - Issue 269

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LIFESTYLE

The glory of the UEA summer With deadlines and exams upon us, the countdown to the start of the UEA summer has truly begun. Although in the current Norfolk climes you’re more likely to get trench foot than sun burn, hope springs eternal for the days when we can sip on Pimms and lounge in the square. While those unlucky enough to finish later on continue to scuttle in and out of the library, pale faced and looking desperate, for those who are finished, the memory of being similarly frazzled fades away with each delicious pint of snakebite. It’s also time for barbecues down by the lake. Veritable feasts of undercooked economy burgers and hot dogs with sunwarmed cider and melting ice lollies that provide the taste of summer. Text books are cast aside in favour of energetic games of Frisbee. Revision is replaced with keen observation of the opposite sex, finally freed from the extensive clothing layering system of winter. Reading glasses are abandoned as the muscle-laden take the first sign of direct sunlight to be a cue to remove their shirts. Circus tricks are practised, goal posts erected and there is guaranteed to be some prat who has brought a guitar to the lake, but as the sun warms the hearts of the masses, the sound of badly strummed chords seems endearing rather than pretentious. In the words of Danny Zuko, it is “those summer nights” that really make the UEA summer. Now the need to run home and encompass yourself in duvets before the cold Norwich nights set in has

passed and evenings can be spent outside. Pub gardens and back yards beckon, as do badly thought-out purchases of excessively large paddling pools that

of playing at egg and spoon races with all your model friends garbed in Marks & Spencer clothing, the perfect night of relaxation is obviously a sing along

“Best of all is just lounging in the sun, with friends and a cold beer, enjoying the glory of the UEA summer“ will be used once, then come September be rediscovered playing host to several species of green crap. After a long day

around the bonfire with an aged boyband member. But if Gary Barlow is not around to provide the soundtrack to your summer,

iPod docks do the job perfectly well. In early June, the staff of B&Q become confused and concerned at the sudden influx of students seemingly taking up an interest in gardening and investing in wheelbarrows. Little do they know that these barrows are unlikely to ever even see a carrot: indeed, they are far more likely to turn up the day after Pimp My Barrow covered in vodka soaked papiermâché and glitter. If the delights of drinking in the square aren’t enough, why not see what the wider area has to offer? Eaton Park is beautiful on a sunny day and offers a world of entertainment. Take a ride on the miniature train or try some model boat sailing with the elderly flat-capped inhabitants of Norwich. Or for the more active among you, pitch and putt or a vigorous game of tennis could be the perfect choice. And don’t forget that just a short (and cheap) train ride away are the beautiful beaches of Cromer or Great Yarmouth, where giant holes must be constructed and paddling in the chilly waters is mandatory. There is so much to do in and around Norwich over the summer, but best of all is just lounging in the sun, with friends and a cold beer, enjoying the glory of the UEA summer and revelling in the fact that you have four months in which you can pretend that the library does not even exist. Jessica L. Ball

How to spend your summer in the city Rianne Ison runs through some of the unmissable events that are coming to Norwich this summer Real ale and cider festival

Norwich and Norfolk Festival

This May (29-31 to be precise), the LCR will be playing host to its first ever beer festival, aptly named the Union Beer Festival 2012. This is a great way to try out the 30 different locally brewed ales and ciders at special discounted prices, and enjoy some live music and entertainment in the evenings as well. And if that wasn’t enough to get you queuing for entry, then maybe the idea of a free festival glass will sway you. If you choose to go along on the Tuesday evening, you will also receive a complementary ticket for the LCR that night. As poor students, this is naturally an offer we cannot turn down: alcohol and the promise of a freebie! All this for only £5, and right on our door step. No excuses guys.

From 11-26 May, Norwich will host the varied and successful Norwich and Norfolk Festival. With tickets for under 25s priced at only £5, you would be mad to miss out: there really is something for everyone. Just by looking at their website you will see what you are in store for and you can also view the line-up via the online brochure. Lifestyle recommends “Motor Show” by Requardt & Rosenberg for their innovative and creative spin on dance acts and a trip to the Spiegeltent, where you can purchase beverages and be thoroughly entertained by the array of artists that occupy the venue.

Pimp My Barrow

Sundown Festival

Always anticipated, Pimp My Barrow, will return to the streets of Norwich, with details to be announced very soon. The date on which it will return this year, Saturday 2 June, was announced yesterday (Monday 30 April). Sure to be as popular as ever, this year it will be organised and managed by RAG and the Union of UEA Students. If you’ve been living in a cave and you don’t know what PMB is all about, it is a student twist on the MTV show Pimp My Ride. However, instead of buying cars, we “pimp” wheelbarrows prior to a pub crawl through town. We’ve seen it all, from the Spice Girls to Thunderbirds, so get creative and may the best team win!

With a brand new name and still riding high on the success from its launch last year, the Sundown festival (previously the Norfolk Spectacular), has reigned in some of the top names in the music industry. These include Olly Murs, Dizzee Rascal, Katy B, Pixie Lott, Chase & Status and Labrinth, who have performed on its stage. The festival will be occurring on the first weekend of September (Saturday 1 and Sunday 2 September) at the Norfolk Showground. If last year is anything to go by, it is set to be a fantastic weekend: great music, a varied and current line up and an electric atmosphere. Who would want to travel to V Festival or Reading when this is just down the road? For more details and the full line up visit: www.sundownfestival. co.uk. Sundown Festival is shaping up to be a great way to end the summer season.

LIFESTYLE

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www.concrete-online.co.uk Tuesday 1 May 2012 - Issue 269

Sumptuous summer recipes Summer vegetable quiche | Emma Williamson Ingredients: > 320g of pre-rolled shortcrust pastry > Baking beans/dried legumes > 1 knob of butter > 1 tbsp of olive oil > 4 large free-range eggs > 2 tbsp of milk > 100g of fresh broccoli, cut into small florets > 100g of frozen peas > 50g of curly kale > 100g of mature cheddar cheese, grated > 1 brown onion, diced > 1 clove of garlic, finely chopped > Thyme Method: 1) Preheat your oven to 220°C (gas mark 6). Grease a 22cm quiche dish with butter and line the base with baking paper. Roll out your pastry onto a lightly floured surface, then use it to line the quiche dish. Lightly prick the pastry with a fork. Line the pastry with another disk of baking paper, then fill the base with baking beans or dried legumes. Place the

dish onto a baking tray and blind bake for 20 minutes. 2) While the pastry is blind baking, heat the olive oil in a large saucepan. Add the onion, garlic and thyme, reduce the heat and allow to cook slowly for 15 minutes. Once softened, turn off the heat and put to one side. 3) In another saucepan, boil the broccoli for five minutes on a high heat, adding the peas and kale for the final two minutes. Drain and add to the same saucepan as the onions, mixing the vegetables into the pan. 4) Once the pastry has cooked, remove it from the oven and reduce the temperature to 180°C (gas mark 4). Remove the baking beans, legumes and baking paper, and allow to cool. 5) In a large mixing jug, beat the four eggs until frothy. Add the milk and cheese, stir once again, and finally add the vegetable mixture. Once the quiche mixture has combined, slowly pour it into the pastry base. 6) Place the quiche in the oven and bake for 30 minutes, or until set. Once cooked, allow to cool for 15 minutes before serving.

Baked chocolate banana | Hasina Allen Ingredients: > A banana per person > Half a Twix per person > Sprinkles, marshmallows, ice cream or chocolate sauce to serve

skin and decorate with sprinkles, marshmallows or chocolate sauce, and a generous helping of vanilla ice cream.

CONCRETE’S TIP Once cooled, this quiche makes a fantastic packed lunch!

Pineapple Daiquiri | Rianne Ison Ingredients: > 1 1/2 oz light rum > 4 pineapple chunks > 1 tbsp lime juice > 1/2 tsp sugar > 1 cup of crushed ice

Method: Method: 1) Using a sharp knife, cut a line vertically down the middle of the banana (don’t break through the skin on the other side or completely split it). 2) Cut the half of a Twix down the middle, and squeeze it into the gap in the banana. If there is space, force the other half of the Twix on top. 3) Wrap the banana in foil. 4) BBQ until the skin has gone black and the chocolate has melted, for approximately 5-10 minutes. 5) If it’s not BBQ weather or you fancy a midnight snack, baking the wrapped banana in the oven for 10-15 minutes at 200°C works just as well. 6) To serve, peel off the blackened CONCRETE’S TIP A pack of four Twix bars is only £1 in the Co-op at the time of writing

1) Take the pineapple and remove the head. 2) Cut the pineapple into four equal chunks. 3) Take the cup of crushed ice and place in an electric blender. 4) Place the pineapple chunks, rum, lime juice and sugar in the blender with the ice. 5) Blend at a low speed until the ice is crushed and the ingredients have blended together evenly. 6) Pour into a glass of your choice, decorate with colourful straws and wedges of any leftover fresh pineapple, and enjoy! CONCRETE’S TIP Tastes just as good straight out of the blender if you can’t find a glass

www.concrete-online.co.uk Tuesday 1 May 2012 - Issue 269

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TURF

UEA Catering sets shining example Chris King | Editor-in-chief “I want to make a tree out of 163,000 paper cups somewhere on campus.” Yes, you heard right. Front of house manager for Zest, an outfit of UEA Catering that you are all probably familiar with, Matt Emery has some big ideas indeed. And why not, when perhaps the biggest of all, the introduction of the keep cup to UEA, has been a runaway success. Since the shelves of Zest, Blend and Cafe Direct began stocking these brightly coloured alternatives to traditional throwaway paper cups, 3,500 have been sold. As Emery points out, to make a single paper cup, it takes up 0.09 square metres of forestation. As for 163,000? A mere matter of 14,000 square metres had to be felled in 2010 for this. Somehow, it doesn’t seem worth it. What UEA Catering has achieved in a year is remarkable. Besides the everentertaining Twitter feed (@UEAcatering), notorious for such wonderful hashtags as #heybigblenders and, the now-infamous Concrete suggestion, #simplythezest, the reduction in waste going to landfill is staggering. 62% of the waste from the outlets mentioned above has been halved to 31%. This has been achieved by halving the use of disposable cups, from 52,000 to 26,000, and making all cups, takeaway boxes and napkins fully compostible as food waste. There has also been a change in the

way food is procured by the University, as these are UEA-owned institutions after all. In the words of Emery himself: “Why have a million different suppliers when you don’t have to? More can be done in-

cup” coming your way very soon. On a more basic level, however, changes that seem very minor have been instituted and really reflect the great work UEA Catering has done this year. They are all

UEA Catering this time next year, Emery said: “I want us to be the best in class in university catering. We need to continue reducing the amount we send to landfill, and find some way to slash the amount of

“What we are trying to do to improve our sustainability here at UEA Catering is a lot like peeling an onion. There are just so many layers” house. For instance, we’ve changed the water at hospitality and function events to purified, UEA branded bottles. This alone saves the University £22,000 per year.” Even the slogans are getting better. Not one to avoid a pun, Emery is looking to continue his prolific humour next year as well. Keep an eye out for “don’t be a mug, reuse one” and “keep up, not keep

simple ones: using as much local food as possible (65% this year), selling free range eggs and Red Tractor assured meat, bread made in Norwich and making sandwiches in the morning to be sold that same day. However, the bigger changes are never easy. Emery believes his business is rather like peeling an onion: “There are so many layers.” Asked where he would like to see

packaging there is on our products. “We also need to get more people involved in disposing cups properly. The little things are going to make the biggest difference. If we all take a bit more responsibility, we can make a big difference. A lot of people here are already doing this really well, but we need everyone to be doing it.”

Move Your Money to start banking ethically Benjamin Brown investigates ethical banking and the hidden corruption of corporate banks Last month was Move Your Money month, marking the start of a campaign for ethical banking. This encouraged individuals to switch their accounts from high street banks, including Barclays, Lloyds and RBS, to more ethical alternatives such as credit unions, building societies and ethical banks like the Co-operative. Since the financial crisis there has been widespread criticism across the political spectrum for the banks’ irresponsible behaviour. Yet instead of showing remorse, they have continued excessive pay and bonuses, tax avoidance and covert lobbying: Barclays spent $2,480,000 on lobbying in 2011 alone. While small businesses and families have struggled to acquire credit, banks continue to fund arms companies, oppressive regimes and environmentally destructive industries. Although in state ownership, RBS has continued to invest in the Canadian tar sands, one of the largest emitters of carbon dioxide on earth. Lloyds holds shares in the mining

company Vedanta, which has been heavily criticised for its bauxite mining operations on the sacred tribal lands of indigenous groups in Orissa, India. Then

civilians. Despite the dissatisfaction held by many for the current state of affairs, and all the talk of urging a more “responsible capitalism,” politicians and regulators

campaign’s effectiveness, it’s worth noting that it follows on from a highly successful movement in the US, which has led to over 10m people moving their money into local financial institutions. In

“When you choose where to keep your money, you are choosing between supporting business as usual or taking a simple but powerful step towards a better future”

there is Barclays, who invest in numerous arms companies, including producers of cluster munitions now banned under international law for their impact on

have been too timid to challenge the status quo. The aims of the campaign are simple: “Banks rely on the deposits of ordinary savers. So when you choose where you keep your money, you are choosing between supporting business as usual, or taking a simple but powerful step towards a better banking system and a better future. By moving your money, you can directly support an ethical and socially useful bank and send a message about the sort of society and economy you want to see. And one you’d rather not.” If you are sceptical about the

a single day, over 40,000 people moved their accounts. A student-led consumer boycott against Barclays in the UK in the 1980s successfully led to their pull out from Apartheid South Africa. You can participate by transferring your bank account to more ethical alternatives, such as credit unions, building societies or ethical banks such Triodos and the Co-operative (who offer a student account). For more information, and to see how your current bank compares against ethical criteria, visit www.moveyourmoney.co.uk.

SPORT

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Editors’ Column

Chris Teale

www.concrete-online.co.uk Tuesday 1 May 2012 - Issue 269

UEA Angels earn their wings Adam Plom | Sports correspondent

What a year it has been for us both as Sports editors, with our tenure now officially over as this issue is released. Personally, I will miss editing this section, as I now move onwards and hopefully upwards into the new role of Managing editor next year. However, I thought I would take this opportunity to share some of my personal highlights of this sporting year at UEA. Where better to start than Derby Day 2012, away to the University of Essex at their Colchester campus? Unfortunately, UEA could not reverse the trend of home victory that has been dominant over the past few years, but what a superb day it was. From the battling 4-3 victory of Men’s Hockey as the sun finally made an appearance, to the incredible atmosphere at the Boxing as two groups of fighters slugged it out for supremacy, the showpiece of UEA’s sporting year certainly lived up to the hype. Our reporters were crucial on that day, and have also been invaluable in our coverage of UEA’s sports clubs in BUCS matches every Wednesday afternoon. Come rain or shine, often in freezing conditions, Concrete Sport has been there to cover the triumphs and disappointments of our teams, and hopefully this coverage will continue to expand next year. From a personal point of view, being present to watch the UEA Pirates American Football team make great strides in the BUAFL playoffs this year was heartening, and although they fell short away to Sheffield, the team emerges with a great deal of credit and will hope to continue their good work next season. Fight Night was also another highlight of our coverage this year, with our team’s live coverage and subsequent write-up in the newspaper hopefully reflecting what was a thrilling night in the LCR organised by the Boxing club. Again, this is something we hope to repeat in the future, especially after such an enjoyable evening watching a well-supported event. It has been a superb year to be involved in Concrete Sport, and hopefully it will continue next year, with the prospect of BUCS matches and Derby Day at home among other events. Whatever the results for UEA’s sports teams, we will be there every step of the way.

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This year, UEA’s cheerleaders, the Angels, have been arguably the university’s most successful sports club, finishing in the top three in national competitions on three occasions. The Angels have trained exceptionally hard all-year, led by their student coaches. Unlike at many universities, the UEA Angels do not hire outside professionals. In March, the Dance Squad entered the International Cheerleading Coalition UK National Championships in Doncaster. While an important event, the competition represented a “practice run” in the build-up to the BCA Nationals. This year, the Angels’ Pom Dance Squad performed remarkably well, finishing in second place. Just days later, the Angels suffered defeat at Derby Day. Although, given that they had competed in a national tournament days before and that the competition was on Essex soil, the defeat was no disgrace. It is notoriously difficult for visiting teams to win on Derby Day and the Angels were not helped by an unfamiliar scoring system. Nonetheless, the competition served as useful dress rehearsal for the year’s showpiece. On 5 and 6 April, the Angels’ Pom Dance Squad and Co-Ed Stunt Team competed in the British Cheerleading Association National Championships in Telford. The Dance Squad went into the competition confident after their recent victory, and given that they had won the competition in the previous two years. However, the Stunt Team, comprising mainly of freshers, suffered several setbacks in the run-up, including one of their coaches breaking their foot. Nevertheless, the Angels put their nerves and hindrances aside. The Dance

Squad finished second out of nine teams, while the Stunt Team finished in third place out of 16 teams, only four points behind the eventual winners. A great achievement for the club under the circumstances. On March 14, however, the Angels’ successful season got even better. At the Union awards they were crowned Sports Club of the Year; an incredible feat considering that cheerleading is not perceived as a sport by many, a myth that can now be put to bed. It is fair to say that the award came as a surprise for the Angels, despite being one of few University teams to compete at such a high-level. As they are not part of BUCS, the Angels often struggle to gain recognition among students. Therefore, the accolade was richly deserved and

was an indication of how far they have advanced recently. President, Lauren Morgan said: “I couldn’t be happier with the way this year’s gone. I’m extremely lucky to be president of such a hard working, successful and lovely squad. I‘m very proud of all our achievements this year, not only at the Nationals but also the level of effort that’s gone into training, choreography and coaching.’ She added: “Being named Sports Team of the Year was certainly the icing on the cake and I’d like to say a huge well done to the whole society.” The Angels hope that their achievements will attract more members and a wider interest in their activities next year, while aiming to secure further successes.

Greg Mann

Sports Strategy: A guide for the future Matt Scrafton reports on a new University initiative being led by the Sports Strategy Working Group A new Sports Strategy is currently being developed that will hope to improve sporting performance and increase participation among students and staff here at the University of East Anglia. The plan is being devised by students Eileen Gallagher, Steven Garrett, Martin Walters and James Colley with support from UEA support staff, and they are aiming to devise an official document that will be put in place to guide sport at UEA, something that is commonplace among other universities across the country, but currently lacking here. A draft of the strategy will be put to the Student Experience Committee in the form of a presentation on May 9. The main objectives of the scheme are

to improve sporting participation, while catering for all levels of performers at the same time. Not only that, but it is thought that better communication between the University, the Union of UEA Students and the Sportspark will be achieved, paving the way for a more efficient way of allocating facilities. Union Finance officer Rob Bloomer told Concrete: “The initiative will be incredibly positive, and considering it is being led by students, it is likely to be extremely successful.” He also added: “A partnership with the University is certainly necessary, and it will benefit everyone at UEA.” With 2012 proving to be a massive year in sport with the upcoming Olympic games

taking place, it is thought that a formal set of guidelines are a vital component of the University’s blueprint for the future. With UEA planning on a 20% increase in student numbers in the next few years, along with the rise in tuition fees, it is imperative that student facilities and current levels of sporting performance are not only maintained, but improved as much as possible. The strategy is still only in its planning phase, and students are being targeted to take part in a survey in order to gauge the consensus across the university, which can be found here: http://www.surveymonkey. com/s/WRKLLJL. You can also find a copy of the current strategy by following this link: http://www.ueasport.co.uk.

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Tuesday 1 May 2012 - Issue 269

Canary Corner by Liam Newson

Norwich suffered a 3-0 defeat to Liverpool as Luis Suarez netted his first hat-trick for the Reds. The controversial Uruguayan scored twice in quick succession during the first half, before sealing the win for Liverpool as his ambitious 45-yard strike sailed over a hapless John Ruddy to complete a miserable evening for the Canaries. Norwich, who have all but secured

right, and he drove his shot past Ruddy. Elliott Bennett’s fierce strike forced a solid save from Reina at the start of the second half, but the Yellows struggled to work the Liverpool ‘keeper all evening. Soon after, Jonjo Shelvey came close to finishing the game off on two occasions, first heading onto the bar and then scuffing wide from inside the six-yard box.

SPORT

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Women’s Basketball end in style with cup victory

“Just two matches remain before the Canaries have a well-deserved rest; unless Grant Holt is selected for the Euros, of course” their place in the Premier League next season, were looking to bounce back after two successive defeats, setting up with five in midfield to quell any early Liverpool efforts. The match started slowly and Adam Drury pulled up in the early stages, forcing Paul Lambert into an early substitution, replacing him with Russell Martin. Following a lacklustre opening at Carrow Road, the first goal came on 24 minutes as Gerrard caught David Fox in possession and threaded Suarez in to lash a left footed strike into the corner of the net. It took just four minutes for Suarez to extend the lead and reach double figures for the season. A further Norwich mistake, this time by defender Elliot Ward, set Suarez free down the

In the 82nd minute, yet another defensive error from Norwich presented Suarez with possession on the halfway line. He proceeded to launch an audacious effort over a scrambling Ruddy to finish his hat-trick. Norwich will be disappointed to reach three successive defeats for the first time this season, although losses to teams such as Manchester City and Liverpool are nothing to be ashamed of. Their current form is less cause for concern, but more a sign of winding down at the end of an excellent season in the top flight. Just two matches remain before the Canaries have a well-deserved rest, unless a certain striker is selected for the European Championships.

s concretebucsindex Pl. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25

Team

Table Tennis MI Golf I Tennis MI Hockey WI Lacrosse MI Fencing MI Tennis WI Lacrosse WI Netball WI Tennis MII Netball WII Rugby MI Football MII Football WI Rugby WI Badminton MI Rugby MII Squash MI Football MI Badminton WI Fencing WI Futsal MI Hockey MI Water Polo WI Water Polo MI

9 8 10 10 10 6 5 7 10 10 10 14 10 10 11 10 14 8 10 10 5 8 10 3 3

8 6 7 7 7 4 3 4 5 5 5 6 4 4 4 3 4 2 2 2 1 1 1 0 0

0 0 2 1 1 0 3 0 0 2 0 0 3 1 0 0 1 0 2 0 0 1 0 0 0

1 2 1 2 2 2 1 3 5 3 5 8 3 5 7 7 9 6 6 8 4 6 9 3 3

Diff. Win % 70 3 36 30 24 28 8 30 33 18 -5 99 2 -2 -79 -32 -117 -11 -12 -30 -104 -17 -61 -24 -30

88 75 70 70 70 66.7 60 57 50 50 50 43 40 40 36 30 29 25 20 20 20 13 10 0 0

Barry Ford John Harris | Sports correspondent

Women’s Basketball 56 King’s Lynn Eagles 39 Women’s Basketball walked on court in the Norfolk Trophy final knowing that victory would cap an amazing season for the team, having dominated league and cup competitions like never before. With a league record of 12 wins and only two losses, they had outscored their opponents by an average of over 25 points per game. Their opponents in the final were the Eagles of King’s Lynn, responsible for UEA’s only defeats in the league, and a powerhouse for the past two decades, dropping less than 10 games in that span. Both early-season meetings had been

Barry Ford

close affairs, with UEA leading for most of the games but unable to hold onto their lead in the fourth quarter. The Panthers came into the game aware of the task they faced, but were not intimidated by the west Norfolk team and immediately went ahead early on. A packed crowd of mainly UEA supporters at the Framingham Earl Sports Centre saw the teams trade baskets for much of the first half, in what was clearly the pinnacle of both teams’ seasons. At half-time the score was tied and the game was beginning to turn into a classic match-up. UEA’s calling card this season had been a suffocating defence, and that increased in the second half, limiting King’s Lynn’s offence to only 13 points in the entire half and disrupting their rhythm at every opportunity. Team captain Sandra Bednar and forward Smita Ramma drew key offensive fouls in the third quarter and the Eagles became increasingly frustrated by their inability to score. At the offensive end, UEA finally hit their stride, with huge three-point shots from vice-captain Lauren Knight and guards Hannah Hooton, Astrid Bultereys and Nicole Lucioni. The Panthers hit nine three-pointers in the game and forced King’s Lynn to chase them around the court as the final buzzer drew closer. Each attempt by King’s Lynn to make a run back into the game was brutally shut down by the UEA defence and two quick baskets at the other end by forward Susan O’Carroll put the game out of sight. The crowd erupted as the final buzzer sounded, with UEA claiming a dominant 56-39 victory. Lauren Knight’s stifling defensive performance coupled with her controlling presence on offense earned her the Most Valuable Player trophy as UEA capped a memorable season.

SPORT

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www.concrete-online.co.uk Tuesday 1 May 2012 - Issue 269

London 2012: The Greatest Show on Earth Concrete Sport previews the upcoming sporting bonanza that is the Olympic Games, which take place between July 27 and August 12 Tom Shaw | Sports correspondent The biggest event of the sporting calendar is approaching England’s capital at a rapid pace, as London now has less than 100 days until the Olympics arrive in Great Britain. The milestone was marked by the creation of the motto: “Inspire a generation,” and with athletes who possess the calibre of Usain Bolt and Michael Phelps competing, it is sure to provide memories for a lifetime of those able to witness it. The Olympics present a various array of sports, from handball to water polo, scattered across 34 different venues throughout the country. Most eyes will be fixed on the brand new 80,000 capacity Olympic Stadium in Stratford for the more popular athletics events, such as the 100m sprint, where Bolt and company will be competing for glory. Bolt has said himself that he is looking to beat his current world record for the 100m of 9.58 seconds, by aiming to cross the finish line in 9.4 seconds, equating to nearly 25mph. This bold claim sets up a fascinating showdown on 5 August. Much talk before the Games has been that of the men’s football tournament, which could see some of the world’s most famous footballers coming to London to compete against Team GB. The likes of David Beckham and Gareth Bale are potential candidates to make the squad, as Great Britain face Senegal, the UAE and Uruguay in a challenging group. Hopes are high for Britain’s athletes as they look to triumph on home turf. A particular amount of faith for gold is placed in Jessica Ennis, who will be competing in the heptathlon. While Ennis has been impressing in the run up to the Games, the 25-year-old has never actually competed

at the Olympics, as she missed the 2008 Games through injury. Her main rival will be the defending Olympic champion Nataliya Dobrynska of the Ukraine, who was already beaten by Ennis at last summer’s European Championships.

Cyclist Chris Hoy will be aiming to replicate his triple gold medal success from Beijing in the men’s keirin. Hoy, now 35, isn’t quite the athlete he was four years ago, but will still be confident of a first place position on the podium. In the pool,

Rebecca Adlington will also be looking to add to her gold medal collection from the last Olympics. Adlington is currently world number one in both the 400m and 800m freestyle and will aim to put that form into her search for glory in London.

Dates for your diary > Opening ceremony | 27 July (Olympic Stadium) > Athletics | 3-12 August (Olympic Stadium & the Mall) > Boxing | 28 July-12 August (ExCel) > Road Cycling | 28 July-1 August (The Mall & Hampton Court Palace) > Track Cycling | 2-7 August (Velodrome) > Football | 25 July-11 August (Various) > Rowing | 28 July-4 August (Eton Dorney) > Sailing | 29 July-11 August (Weymouth & Portland) > Swimming | 28 July-10 August (Aquatics Centre & Hyde Park) > Closing ceremony | 12 August (Olympic Stadium)

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UEAsport UEA Angels | p21 Concrete BUCS Index | p22 Women’s Basketball | p22

Inside concretesport this fortnight: • Tom Shaw previews this summer’s Olympic Games, while Liam Newson writes on the recent fortunes of Norwich City FC • John Harris reports on a Norfolk Cup win for Women’s Basketball, and Adam Plom details a positive year for UEA Angels

Athletics to compete in Olympic Stadium Billy Sexton | Sports correspondent UEA Athletics are set to take part in the BUCS Athletics Championships on 4-7 May. The event takes place at the Olympic Stadium in London and serves as an official event for the “London Prepares” series, and a test event for the Olympic Games, which take place in July and August. As you would expect, the entire Athletics team are excited about competing on such a massive stage, and the event is to be watched by some 40,000 spectators. This year’s Championships are a once in a lifetime opportunity for all athletes, and the fact that the event is also testing out the Olympic Stadium that stars such as Usain Bolt are set to race on later in the year makes the occasion even more special. It will truly be a momentous day that all will remember for the rest of their lives, regardless of where they finish in their events. Athletes from 117 universities will compete in the four day event at the Olympic Stadium, which will see all its facilities put through rigorous testing by the student competitors before the main event. UEA’s team will be hoping to build on an already successful season, having enjoyed a fifth consecutive victory over the University of Essex at Derby Day 2012. Concrete Sport caught up with the President of UEA Athletics, Ruth McKellar, who is confident of an overall good performance from the team, given that the club have had a promising season so far. They competed in the BUCS Indoor Championships in February, where Steven Garrett and Charlie Roe were the stand out athletes, performing to an extremely high standard in the 800m and high jump and long jump respectively. With the majority of the club travelling to the Olympic Stadium, UEA are going

Greg Mann

UEA Athletics will get the chance to visit the Olympic Stadium at the start of May in the official test event to compete in most of the events taking place. Despite UEA having a relatively small women’s team, it is greater in size than in previous years, and McKellar believes the current team is the strongest that has ever existed at the club. Therefore, Athletics can be quite confident of achieving positive results, with some athletes expected to reach the semi-finals and finals of their respective events. After being quizzed on how the magnitude of the event will affect

performance, McKellar thinks that competing on such a big stage can only add another positive dimension to her performance, and so she is extremely excited about competing. McKellar also acknowledged that for some the venue may add pressure, as Laura Bottiglieri, who is on the relay team, said that athletes have enough drive and inner belief in their talents to rise above any pressure that the venue and crowd may bring to the event. Loughborough are looking to

maintain the tradition of dominating the event. They have, after all, won every Outdoor Championship since 2005. It would therefore be a big demand for any other team, not just UEA, to top the table. However, with UEA set to field a strong team, and brimming with confidence, they are more than able to spring a surprise. Thanks to extraordinary demand, an extra 6,000 tickets were made available to BUCS members, after the original allocation sold out in a matter of days.

VENUE

Concreteâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fortnightly culture pullout

issue 269 | 01/05/2012

creative writing | competition winners published| pp. 8-9 film | talk teen movies | p. 20

Photo by Laura Smith

music | interview some young local talent | pp. 6-7

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ssue 269 | 01.05.2012 ditor-in-Chief | Chris King | concrete.editor@uea.ac.uk

enue Editor | Alex Throssell | concrete.event.uea.ac.uk

Oh Concrete, it’s so hard not to unleash a torrent of puns when thinking of you. You have a harsh, impenetrable surface, but you make up the foundations of so many of our lives. You’re man made, and durable, but can threaten to crumble under pressure ... OK, yeah, that just sounds like I’m infatuated with concrete or something, what a terrible way to start my last ever editorial. The reality is, what with three years of contribution, working under three different editors as a writer, a music editor and Venue editor, Concrete has taken up a large part of my time at UEA. I actually did some simple calculations (yeah that’s right, I’m a history student who can still do very basic maths) and I worked out the time I’ve spent writing articles, editing, and generally being in the Concrete office adds up to more time than all of my course contact hours combined. If that’s not an impressive stat I don’t know what is. I don’t really do sentimentality, so there’ll be no tears, instead let me just say a very sincere thank you to everyone who has been part of my Concrete experience over the past three years; it’s been an absolute riot.

Alex

Music | Editors | Alex Ross & Jordan Bright Music Contributors> Callum Pawlett-Howell, Alex Ross, Cheri Amour. Creative Writing | Editor | Ella Chappell Creative Writing Contributors> Sebastian Major, Tom Brooks. Wired | Editor | Josh Mott Wired Contributors> Adam Riza, Chris King, Rory Hutchinson. Fashion | Editors | Hannah Britt & Milly Sampson Fashion Contributors> Hannah Britt, Jess Beech.

TV | Editor | Matt Tidby TV Contributors> Matt Mulcahy, James Sykes Film | Editors | James Burrough & Anna Eastick Film Contributors> Tom Moore, Adam Dawson, Matthew Francis. Saul Holmes, Becky Hazlewood, Alek Stoodley, Sarah Boughen, Joseph Murphy, Beth Wyatt. Competitions/Listings | Editor | Sam Tomkinson.

Photo by Laura Smith

Arts | Editor | Emma Webb Arts Contributors> Hasina Allen, Marian Davidson, Chris King, Beth Wyatt, Adam Drivsington.

MUSIC

01.05.2012

concrete.music@uea.ac.uk

album reviews

jack white blunderbuss

Since rising to fame with the White Stripes, Jack White has formed a number of side projects, notably The Raconteurs and The Dead Weather, recorded a James Bond theme with Alicia Keys, started his own record label, Third Man Records and helped to produce a number of other albums. However, it’s with Blunderbuss that Jack White records his first solo album and releases one of the most anticipated albums of the year. Jack White is the only true rock star of his generation, at 36 he is the only musician that can hold his own with the likes of Dylan and Jagger, and Blunderbuss see’s White with complete control over this album. He releases it on his record label, he writes all the songs (save for one) and he produces it, so it would appear with this freedom White could make an album as over indulgent as an ELP record. However, since White no longer has a band name to hide behind the responsibility rests with him to create his most honest and personal record yet. The album sounds exactly how you would expect a Jack White solo album to sound like, a soulful, rock, rhythm and

alabama shakes boys and girls

It’s telling that this record, Alabama Shakes’ debut, has reached the top of the newly fangled Vinyl chart. In fact, Boys And Girls was the very first number one on the chart. It all makes perfect sense really, like listening to Blink-182 on CD, or Sonic Youth on cassette. Because, in a year that’s rocketed The Black Keys into the mainstream and unleashed a wave of confusion, controversy and mild arousal, in the form of Lana Del Rey, The Alamaba Shakes give you the impression that music stopped around ‘76. It might be a little easy to place the Alabama Shakes somewhere between these two because, whilst they lack the Black Key’s rough production and couldn’t-givea-fuck aesthetic, but don’t quite fall into the manicured sleeping-with-the-president Monroisms of Del Rey, they do have an old soul all of their own. Much will be made

blues record for Nashville. Freedom at 21 features one of White’s wildest guitar solos since Ball and Biscuit, while I’m Shakin’ see White mimicking Elvis and Sixteen Saltines is the closet the album gets to the thumping White Stripes anthems of Seven Nation Army and Blue Orchid. Although with the absence of Meg, Jack White has picked a tight band that adds an extra dimension to the music and challenges White as a musician, raising him to a level we haven’t heard before. Since his break up with the White Stripes and his wife, Karen Elson last year, some critics have declared that this is White’s break-up album. The title track could easily feature on Bob Dylan’s seminal 1975 break-up album Blood on the Tracks, and in the single Love Interruption he declares “I want love to walk right up and bite me/ grab a hold of me and fight me/leave me dying on the ground”. Love and loss are definitely a central theme to this album. Also, since the piano features in favour of the bluesy guitars, it would make this album the oblivious successor to paranoid and insecurity filled album, Get Behind Me Satan. Overall, this album is better than anything he’s done since the White Stripes and it features some of his best and most personal work yet, although since White declared “I’ve got another 12 songs that I haven’t finished yet,” perhaps the best is yet to come. Callum Pawlett-Howell

of Brittany Howard’s voice, somewhere between Janis Joplin and Aretha Franklin. But it would be unfair to simply put her appeal down to this gruff elegance, as her talent for writing gorgeous melodies is a profound one. Look no further than the delicate soul of You Ain’t Alone, Howard’s lines rising and falling with the slow dance. Or take the distinctly more rock ‘n’ roll stylings of opener Hold On, Howard saying that she “never thought I’d make it to 22 years old.” The blues doesn’t spare the youth. Boys and Girls is far from perfect. There is too much respect here, and little desire to tamper with the blueprints of their obvious idols. But dammit if you set up a vinyl chart, you’d want these guys at the top. Alex Ross

MUSIC

concrete.music@uea.ac.uk

gig reviews

Photos by Andi Sapey

01.05.2012

the broken seas

faster than robots, of diamonds, the reasons why

the waterfront studio

27.04.12 As I walked through the misty rain towards the Waterfront, I have to admit that I was a little dubious of the timing of the night ahead. The Reasons Why were booked for a 7.15pm stage time (something about a 90s night afterwards, I’m not sure), so I was naturally a little worried that they’d be playing to no one but me and the bar staff. I should have known better. When the lights dimmed for the first time of the evening, the audience was already starting to fill the studio room, and when the music started, a multitude eyes turned to the stage. The Reasons Why put in a blistering performance that was worthy of the reputation that they’ve managed to build up for themselves during the short time that they’ve been around. The seamless flow of the bass and relentless focus of the drums were characteristic of what I’ve come to expect from a The Reasons Why show, and all three put in a great effort to make it a gig to remember. Unfortunately, it was the band’s last show for 18 months due to the

callings of an American year abroad, and so by the time they finished their set with the beautifully charged, Birds, I had already started counting down the days to their triumphant return. Next to the stage were Of Diamonds, an electro pop girl group whose facebook page claims that they, “formed from carbon atoms that came from stars”. Quite an introduction. Of Diamonds clearly knew what they were doing and how they wanted to sound. It was good to see a band that was so confident in the music that they were making, and all worked well together to create the psychedelic girl pop that confronted the audience. However, I couldn’t help but wonder why they were on the bill for the evening? Although good, their music seemed juxtaposed with the overall feel of the night and not quite in keeping with the distortion-based riffings of the other bands. I’d be interested to see them again, but on an electro based night. Rock and roll, this was not.

I’ve long been a fan of noisy, low-fi garage pop, and so Faster Than Robots were a real surprise for me. Showing a distinct influence from bands such as Sonic Youth and Dinosaur Jr, this trio were a breath of fresh air. High tempo, fuzz drenched guitar riffs were provided thick and fast, and a few of the basslines really caught my attention. Although the band seemed to get off to a slow start, they soon seemed to find their stage legs, so that by the end of the set they had managed to leave the audience wanting more. The Broken Seas started their set in the effortlessly cool way that one would expect from one of the top rock bands of the city. As the lights dimmed, a tall figure stalked across the stage and, strapping on a guitar, started playing a distortion laden riff. The atmosphere continued to build as the other members joined the stage, and so began a headline show that none of us would forget in a hurry. The next 45 minutes were filled with the loudest, most

intense and downright rock and roll music that I’ve heard in a long time. Think Black Rebel Motorcycle Club meets the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, with the occasional nod to Jefferson Airplane, and you’re halfway there. Alex Hill’s vocals soared from soft croonings to great crescendos, Matt’s guitar work was simple but beautifully effective at working the audience into a storm, all backed up by the relentless drive of Fliss Kitson’s drum kit. As if that wasn’t enough, they even threw in a Black Keys cover as a bit of a treat. The word cool is used to describe pretty much everything these days, but if we think of it as it used to be, the rock and roll sense of cool, of Ray-Bans, leather jackets and whisky, well then we’re getting close to what The Broken Seas offered us with their first headline set at the Waterfront Studio. If you see their name on a poster soon, cancel any plans you may have and make sure that you’re there. Trust me, you won’t regret it. Jack Teare

MUSIC

01.05.2012

concrete.music@uea.ac.uk

young revolt

before they took to the arts centre stage, cheri amour got four of norwich’s finest acts to sit in a room together As music goes, Norwich is hardly known for its breadth of starlets and celeb types; the fact that former face of M&S and original reality TV poptart, Myleene Klass schooled in our fine city hasn’t really got our Norfolk teens chomping at the bit. Yet, there does seem to be some sort of uprising from the young and the fresh boned currently adorning our local haunts. Could this be the start of some Seattle-type underground music scene, all subterranean and brooding? Local alt-rock trio These Ghosts are certainly a band that knows how to brood and like some veritable who’s who of the indie uprising, have asked some of the finest city exports to join them on their bill at the Norwich Arts Centre. We caught up with members from the band as well as ferocious five piece Deers, Bury new-kidson-the-block The Soft, and Rory Hill to chat about the Norwich ‘scene’, venues gone by and us Norfolk pumpkins… Rory (pictured p 7), you’re opening the show this evening but are perhaps better known as the Paul Simon bass trill extraordinaire in local popsters, The Kabeedies. Do you enjoy playing acoustic again is the kind of how you started out? Is it linked more to the kind of music you listen to or not? Rory Hill: There’s a certain sense of enjoyment that’s very different from The Kabeedies. That’s not to say I don’t enjoy playing with them though. I don’t think there are many of us in the band who actually listen to bands that The Kabeedies sound like. I think I’d either be doing that or be in some sort of disgustingly filthy hardcore band ... there’s definitely something I enjoy from playing acoustic but it doesn’t detract from The Kabeedies. Do any of you other guys have any individual projects going on alongside your respective bands? Ben [Deers]: I have been but I dropped them all. I went to uni and left my old band and then Deers found me and asked me to play bass and it’s all gone a bit mental since, really! Before Deers, I played in the Norwich band Kodeta but I decided to leave and Deers were playing the kind of music I’d planned to start at some point in my life. I felt bad that I left but sometimes you have to make sacrifices to do what you really want to do. As the headline act this evening, These Ghosts (Calum Duncan pictured right), you were responsible for picking the lineup for this evening’s show that has a very cohesive feel to it and fits your sound very well. Are you looking forward to the show?

Harry [These Ghosts]: Yeah, it’s great because Norwich has such a wealth of bands to play alongside and it’s nice to be able to bring bands like The Soft [who are from Bury] having played with them on their home turf. It seems right that it’s their turn to come to ours now but it’s certainly a nice collective sound to the night. This leads me to the final band on this evening’s line up, The Soft. Coming from a Suffolk point of view, are you eager to be part of Norwich’s bustling metropolis of bands and musicians alike or proud of your Suffolk heritage? Henry [The Soft]: I’m honestly not sure. I mean there’s a Suffolk scene growing but I’m not sure we’re particularly part of it, we play there but just trying to get a gig in Suffolk is difficult. There’s no one from Bury that we could add to the line-up that would make work so it’s definitely nice to get out and play gigs like this where we feel the sound is a bit more appropriate to us. I mean, when you spend endless nights playing with pop punk bands ... Rory: Hey! Henry: No, not like that. We weren’t on a bill with you ... oh no, we were! Rory: Yes, you were! Henry: Well, when I say pop punk I mean there’s nothing particularly electronic going on in Bury which is good for us because it means we can stand out but there are times where you obviously end up playing to crowds that don’t really appreciate your kind of music. Harry: There are so few venues to even host music in Suffolk, I can’t even think ... Henry: Yeah, exactly. I’m guessing you’ve all played at the LP [Bury based bar with live music] but we’ve played there five times now and it’s really fun but you end up playing to the same people a lot of the time. Rory: It’s kind of like Ipswich really ... Henry: Exactly, particularly McGinty’s closing ...

with

Rory: We must have played at The Swan about six times or something. Let’s chat about festival involvement this summer, Deers are the headlining local act at the Big Top for Playfest alongside 90s greats, Ash and Feeder is that right? Ben [Deers]: Yeah, Deers got the headline

local act slot at The Big Top on the Saturday this year which is super exciting. We’re one of these bands that came in out of nowhere and, for some reason, people have said we really like you and we’re going to put you on. We haven’t really got time to organise our own gigs because we’ve got people asking us to play so much. It’s a bit of a no brainer to go with that really and Playfest will be great! I think we’re all really looking forward to it; hopefully, we’ll have some new stuff by then too as we’re gradually evolving as a band. We’ve been through a

...

pretty turbulent last year and haven’t really been around that long. You’ve been busy releasing your series of colour EPS, have you launched the fourth one yet? Ben: Not as yet. Unfortunately, that got put on hold as we parted ways with one of our members. I filled his position and I’m a very different singer so we now have to write differently around Brad and I as opposed to the old line up but it’s going really well.

01.05.2012

We’re very happy with it and we’re all good friends still. The Soft are busy on the festival front too though, you’re playing Playfest and The Great Escape in Brighton; do you know what stage you guys will be on? Henry: We’re playing the Drowned in Sound stage actually. Basically, we played a show in London with Kate Jackson who’s from Bury, and Sean, the editor of DiS, was there. We met him by accident in a kebab shop afterwards and he asked us to play it then! I actually didn’t know what he was saying as I was quite drunk and only looked at his email the next morning and realised it signed off as the editor of Drowned in Sound. Very embarrassing....but it worked out very well! All of you have benefited from huge support from both BBC Introducing here in Norfolk and BBC 6 Music; do you think stations like that and the notion of BBC Introducing is important for upcoming bands? Has that helped with either of your respective projects during your careers thus far? Harry: Yeah, as of recently. Ben: We got picked up early on which was really surprising. We’ve had a few interviews too; the last one was really good, and it’s nice to have a local backing. There’s a really good scene here. I definitely think that’s true within the last five years or so, certainly much bigger than when I was younger. The Norwich scene is huge and if you’re there and paying attention, there’s something there for everyone. Harry: I think there’s just so much happening in and around Norfolk. Last month alone, Gary from BBC Introducing said they had over 300 tracks uploaded to the Radio Norfolk site. Rory: I think it’s quite an important thing saying that there is literally, something for everyone. People say when you’re away, what kind of music is there in Norwich and you really can’t say. The kind of music that I’m into as far as England goes, I’m pretty proud to be from Norwich in terms of the hardcore scene as there’s not much like it elsewhere in England. Ben: I get invited to a lot of events, and the hardcore scene is really flourishing now. There are a lot of promoters pushing it. Rory: It was definitely a blow with The Marquee closing as much as people might

MUSIC

concrete.music@uea.ac.uk

think that it’s a dive venue, it’s a free place to hire for people to come to. It’s a real shame. There are shows I saw as a kid there that I will just never forget.

Harry: Wells.

room going to turn on me?

Henry: Southwold. All incorrect but it does have a pier...?

C’mon guys its food related ... Ben: Is it to do with Delia ..?

Ben: It’s the same with The Ferryboat – that was a huge part of my childhood and when it went, I was really gutted and think that everyone had the same sort of attitude there to have a good time which set that place off! I think Norwich needs a few more venues.

Ben and Rory, simultaneously: Cromer!

Erm, not really ...

Ben: At the same time, that’s team work.

Harry: Pumpkins.

[correct, another point to Norfolk]

Henry: Do you mean bumpkins?

Final question for the taking... People from Norfolk are sometimes known as...? Rory says an expletive here that we’ve decided to edit out ...

You make it with flour...

Rory: I think it needs more of that kind of size, 100 capacity. Ben: There’s only so much you can do in a pub and there’s only so many times a band can play a pub before it gets slightly repetitive on the scene. There are not many smaller venues which is making it harder for younger, newer bands to get in there. Henry: I think the Arts Centre is great but it’s quite difficult to get on a night here, all the promoters are often high profile. It’s difficult to get in contact with them. We’ve played a couple of nights here and a couple of nights at the Playhouse bar -they’ve been really good, I really like it there. It’s certainly been a lot easier to play there than here [NAC]. Harry: There needs to be a middle ground, a smaller Arts Centre type place. Finally, in a bid to see which of your bands knows the most about your respective counties, we’re grappling with the game; Clash of the Regions as we see Norfolk [Rory and Ben] go head to head with Suffolk [Henry and Harry]. Let the games begin! Of the 34 non-metropolitan English counties, who is the seventh most populous? Rory: Norfolk. [correct!] This county is low-lying with very few hills, and is largely arable land with the wetlands of The Broads in the North? Harry [no more than a quarter of the way through the question]: Suffolk [correct!] Henry: We’ve got some good stuff going on. Ben: Right, it’s 50/50 now so we can win it back... Arthur Conan Doyle first conceived the idea for The Hound of the Baskervilles whilst holidaying in which seaside town in the East? Rory: Holt.

Ben: Dumplings! Norfolk win. Norfolk win with 3-1.

Harry: NFN Henry: Normal for Norfolk? If I say it, is this

Ben: And then when we face Ipswich, we usually win as well....

CREATIVE WRITING

01.05.2012 concrete.creativewriting@uea.ac.uk

concrete short story competition we received an inundation of entries to concrete’s first ever short story competition. the submissions showcased a variety of bizarre narrators,

adventurous writing and innovative forms. it was a very difficult decision for

the judging panel due to the exceptional talent displayed by uea’s undergraduate writers.

But

the clear winner is sebastian major with his lightening-paced

and striking monologue on the nature of life, football and habitual drug-

use as viewed through the lens of dionysus/uncle franky z/frank zappa and second place goes to tom brooks for his intimate snapshot of familiar modern history the life of friedhelm koehler by joseph göttschalk.

other highly commended stories include helena palmer’s untitled,

leo hunt’s the stranger, thomas castle’s to live as a beast, and matthew mulcahy’s the mistake.

thanks to the judging panel; rebecca goodacre, laura westerman,

alex lambert, elizabeth robinson and christopher gden.

an internal monologue on the nature of life, football and

habitual

drug-use

viewed through the lens of dionysus/uncle

franky

frank zappa

by sebastian jacob-peter major Recommended listening: anything that makes your heart race and your pulse ache. Breathe in; deep and hard as I can. My Guts hurt.

A friend of mine is having a shindig, a big one, which she assured me would be “very totally fucking Mexico” and everyone is going so I must go. I must go. Crack wise with some guy who looks like me - who I don’t know - plus Thom Pernét - who I do- . Drink Pabst Blue Ribbon. Tastes like drain water. Make jokes on Footballer’s names - Didier Dogba, Shark Van-Bommel, SuperMario Götze - not watching the Football unless a goal goes in, then we celebrate like it was Dionysus on the pitch, running himself ragged. I’m craving for something white, crunchy and vibrant, exactly fucking nothing like the piss-poor imitations you’ll find in the supermarket. Gum sticks to the roof of my mouth and it’s arsenal 1-0 up but even now I stare blankly, darkly, at the television. Coca-Kolo Toure.

Smells like the innards of beasts. Take a hefty sniff, become one with the smoggy haze that envelops me. Staring at the ceiling, jaw slack, eyes heavy. Inhaling smoke. A babe, comforted by his crib. People ask: “You eating enough?/You sleeping enough?/You getting enough vitamin A, B, C D, E, Keratin, Serotonin, Diazapam, Temazepam, DMT, Caffeine, Nicotine, Marijuana, Vallium, Lithium Salts, Depakene, Ziprasidone, Eye of Newt?” A Dostoevskyian nightmare on an industrial scale. This is the victory of the west over communism. Now Russia can have all the modern western conveniences like hard drug addiction, terminal boredom from eternal unemployment and endless vistas littered with the dead souls and spirits; void of any hope or purpose in life , filling up with death, decay and desolation. Russian winters to the power of thousands.

Flung into the air by a guy twice my size. Tall, strapping young lad, his breath rich, syrupy with booze, giving a herculean bear hug, eyes wide with excitement, face pockmarked, and rough; the inside of a worn glove. He’s having such a good time and I’m fucking grinding and freaking on his buzz man, ecstatic to just be near someone who feels how I wish I felt. Prawn-Wright Phillips. On a bed, getting kissed, Feeling a soft pair of lips practically Sellotape themselves to mine. The heat between us makes me gasp; rough and full of yearning. Northen Sol Campbell. Maicon the Greek. Her musk reminds me of “him.” I pause, for longer than a heartbeat but shorter than a breath and then the moment passes and

I’m left with a sore mouth, lipstick caked in globs under the base of my tongue; greasy, foreign; like some horrendous polyp or cyst. The taste of chemicals makes me nauseous. She slides off me and puts her underwear on daintily, slipping away into the thronging mass outside.

“ce qui est “Fuh-keen-Ay“”? I reply: (Oslo?) “You know... like... Fuckin A!” and I move my hands to indicate. she says: “Ah. Mais Oui.” “…” (Mexico City?)

What. A. Riot. A throbbing gristle of people noise and colours so complex and repeating. Repeating. Repeating.

We kiss for a while and it feels better than good, the waft from her perfume crashing over me in an awesome and clement wave. Drink Pabst Blue Ribbon and smoke Camel Yellows. The room is made of a bright white hunger that shines through a chink in the half open drapes and nothing matters any more. I look shit in all my clothes, but you... you look positively Italian. Even in an oft warn Barcelona FC kit. Bojan, Number 10, the one with the blue and red stripes.

Can slightly hear it now. Reportedly this has saved my life on the streets. Slide cooly downstairs, unseen through a crowd of hipsters in tight shirts with itty-bitty waists and teeny-weeny girlfriends, hair like a rats nest perched atop their heads. Tongue wet like a hound’s, lips dry like Tony Adams; now days anyway. Zoning in and out of focus as my lungs fill with air. Feels like drowning in reverse. “You OK mate?” Feels like drowning in reverse. I stare blankly at faces that swim in and out of focus, my vision wet, soupy. A remix of the Beatles. Dubstep. Dubstep. More Dubstep, Drum and Bass, electro house, WitchHouse, A remix of an Elvis track, IDM, EDM, French House, Minimalist Techno. A beat, a quaver, a minim. “I said, You OK mate?” Pepe Reina, and his imaginary best friend Fernando Torres, gone but not forgotten. “Don’t look OK mate.” Can’t remember the time or the date or even who I am. Feels luxurious. “You want some of this J my nigga?” Reminded of something some hipcat named Pablo Biswell once said: “You always have to round up to the nearest whole wolf.” But I don’t say anything, roll my head back like a drunken bull and run my hands through my hair. Breathe out; deep and hard as I can. My Guts Hurt. Talking to a girl named Monique. (Or was it Lisa?) Met in Paris (Or Barcelona or Amsterdam or Tangier or Bristol or London or Leeds or Valencia or...). I say: (Maxine?) “Yeah... So... whatever, I heard the new ‘Sea Bastard’ album is gonna be Fuckin’ A. It’s got kind of a New-wave/post-industrial feel to it. Or something.” She smiles, laughs and asks me: “ce qui est “Fuh-keen-Ay?“”? I reply: (Reyann?) “Errr... what?” She asks: (More urgently this time)

The smell and smoke of incense hangs heavy in the air,, a hazy fog that snuggles cosily against my eyelids. ‘Killer in the Snow’ by ‘The Birds of Maya’ plays, layering it thick and smooth into my ears like a sheet of shellac, a cacophony of noise and psychedelic vibrations that tears a hole in my aching brain and takes me straight to Valhalla, the kind of music that makes me want to fuck on the floor and break shit then curl up in a ball. A blissful, cathartic mess, stuck in a post-coital explosion of ecstasy and absolute, violent satisfaction. This room reminds me of you horribly - a discarded sock, a long forgotten earring found beneath the bed under an empty packet of cigarettes - but half naked and half asleep, it isn’t so bad. Like the dainty, unwrapped innards of a birdcage, all elegance with a brave sombreness, anything can be funny, comedic, exciting. The frames that hold our fragile understanding together like silk tape: these are the tools to make people understand you. So you communicate via a lens smeared with Vaseline, a pen or a pencil, blue tarpaulin covered in dog turds, the pickled innards of a dead shark, the jewel encrusted skull. So when the shit eventually hits the skids, as is it’s want, what difference does it make? You meant something to someone. Someone framed you as more than a man: more than a simple, mechanical heartbeat next to some clunky shit wired to your left ventricle. (I am not a doctor.). This is real fuckin’ life. Shit just got (R)eal (Madrid), and you passed with flying colours. Reminded of something Thom Pernét once said before we drank ourselves half to death on the pristine lawn outside his uncles house, ruining Petunias and missing the second half: “Driving mate, it’s all in the hips. And Zidane was better than Pele.” My guts hurt. And all of a sudden, there is a small calmness inside of me.

01.05.2012 concrete.creativewriting@uea.ac.uk

Monday 14th November 1983

the life of friedhelm koehler by joseph göttschalk These are the facts about Herr Koehler that I have gathered over the years. He was born on the 20th of March 1916 to Chlöe and Heimlich Koehler, two dairy farmers who lived on the outskirts of Griesheim. They were a young Protestant couple who lived in moderate prosperity off the land inherited from Chlöe's father. Heimlich, a proud and patriotic man, ran the farm until he was sent to France during the First World War, leaving his wife and an assortment of hired help to manage the business. Records show that he was killed by an artillery shell during the Third Battle of Ypres. Roughly two years after Friedhelm's birth, control of the Darmstadt-Dieburg district was handed over to the French armed forces. According to some of the townspeople I interviewed, Friedhelm was a sullen and unsociable child in the years that followed. Although he had been too young to remember his father, he was aware of the circumstances surrounding Heimlich's death and the absence was clearly felt. Because of this, he adopted a hostile attitude towards the occupying forces. Despite mostly manifesting itself in passive-aggressive behaviour, his hatred of the French culminated, when he was eight years old, in an incident that gained him local notoriety. He and two of his friends were caught breaking into a nearby artillery range, with the intention of stealing one of the cannons and using it to “get rid of the French.” Their attempt was, of course, a complete failure—however, the occupying forces thereafter took notice of Friedhelm, and in fact seemed to view his attempted insurrection as no more than a child's mischief. Knowing that the boy was no threat, the French forces returned his hatred of them with a kind of fraternal affection. They made fun of his murderous impulses towards them—diving for cover in mock fear whenever they saw him, or challenging him to pistol duels for the freedom of Germany, or threatening to have him sent to prison as a partisan guerilla. Although initially resentful of their attentions, Friedhelm's attitude toward them soon began to soften. His animosity gave way to a sense of rivalry which, eventually, gave way to friendship. There was said to be one soldier, Private Jean-Martin de Batiste, who took a particular shine to him–-who ruffled the boy's hair whenever they met, played football with him and his friends, and was even reported to have taken him shooting once. Some of the townsfolk I interviewed on the subject expressed suspicion that Jean-Martin was having an affair with the boy's widowed mother, although many others deny this— Chlöe Koehler was said to be a strong-minded woman, and while her tolerance for the French occupiers had just barely allowed for this soldier to form a friendship with her son, it would not have extended to dishonouring Heimlich's memory by sleeping with the enemy. Nevertheless, it can be inferred from various accounts that Private Batiste did indeed take on the role of surrogate father to the boy. This ended in 1930, however, when the French forces moved out and Jean-Martin returned home to France. Though this was said to have deeply saddened young Friedhelm, he did not have much time to dwell on his loss: a year later, the dairy farm finally succumbed to the effects of the Great Depression, and Friedhelm and his mother were forced to depart Griesheim. They moved to Munich, staying at the apartment of Chlöe's sister Anna and her family—husband Max Richter and daughters Ebba and Janina, aged eight and ten respectively. Although this arrangement allowed for their financial stability and Friedhelm's education at the esteemed Wilhelmsgymnasium, the close-quarter living conditions became the cause of many arguments and tensions within the household. According to a reference made in Janina Richter's diary—written post-facto—Friedhelm was unusually calm in the face of these domestic conflicts. Reflecting on these years, she describes him as having had “an air of quiet certainty,” and would frequently reassure his cousins when they became upset by their parents' fierce arguments: “He would tell us that things would get better in the end, and though he spoke mere words the two of us were convinced by his manner that he knew this to be true, somehow.”

CREATIVE WRITING

This sentiment was echoed in a report made by one of Friedhelm's teachers, who notes his “quiet determination and confidence.” Paradoxically, it appears he was easily led by his schoolmates: a willing accomplice to many of their pranks and misbehaviours, although never as ringleader or mastermind. Overall he was described as academically middling, displaying a slight propensity for mathematics but almost none for literature or the classics. He did, however, possess great athletic ability and a photograph from the time shows him to have been an exemplary Aryan specimen—blonde, blue-eyed and of robust constitution. His school report is the only record I could find from his teenage years, the rest lost to the Allied bombings and various other entropic forces. Friedhelm would almost certainly have joined the Hitler Youth in this time, although I could not find any indication of his personal attitude towards the Nazi Party. The record extends to the year 1933, but beyond this point his exact whereabouts cannot be determined. I have inferred from Janina's diary, however, that he and his mother moved out from the Richters' apartment just before Hitler ascended to power, and given subsequent events it is likely they remained in or around Munich. His next appearance in public record took place on the 4th June 1939. A newspaper cutting details his marriage to one Elsa Bohm, a 22-year old secretary from the accountancy firm in which Friedhelm worked at the time. The article notes their residence in Ingolstadt, and a photograph shows them after the ceremony. Friedhelm towers above his bride, his posture straight and his smile displaying that same rigid serenity that so many of his peers have attested to. Elsa clings to him with her head against his chest, laughing into the camera, and she is beautiful. Of the handful of acquaintances I managed to interview who knew them during their marriage, all have supported the wedding photo in evincing a loving, happy couple. Elsa, they say, was warm and outgoing: an actively upbeat woman nonetheless prone to mild bouts of depression and mania. Her changeable behaviour, then, was well-matched by her husband's easy stoicism. They were often observed to take walks along the Schösslande, looking out over the river and talking with a cheerful intimacy. By all accounts, they were active members of the community and were spoken of fondly by all who knew them. We now approach both the end of Herr Koehler's story, and my reason for telling it. I present to you now my own personal account of our convergence, having thus far written exclusively from second-hand sources. I saw him only once, at Dachau, in 1945—he an SS guard, myself a kapo. The details of my capture and internment are superfluous to the incident in question, and my impressions of the camp have lost all capacity to inform anew given the deluge of similar accounts of life in those horrific facilities. No doubt the informed reader already possesses an image of the conditions in those camps from a mental collage of photographs, films and writings. The mud, the squalor, the stench, the desolation. I have nothing new to add to this and no adjustment to make to the archetypal image. I wish only to highlight a repeat occurrence that holds direct bearing on the event in question. The man behind this occurrence was our Block leader, an Unterscharführer by the name of Drescher. He was, I believe, of a rare character among the SS within the camps—although I am far from certain of this, for most of my days in that dread place were spent trying to avoid contact with the guards. He differed from the others mostly through sheer temperament— he was a vicious man, a drunk and a tyrant. His appearance was noticeably more unkempt than that of the other ranking officials, and whereas they treated the inmates with a ruthless, warped rationality, Drescher was open in his hatred of them. Most SS officers looked upon the prisoners with a distant superiority, like a bug exterminator would look upon a nest of insects. Drescher, on the other hand, seemed to have a violent contempt for each of the inmates, and took sadistic pleasure in personally crushing their spirits. It was hard to say where this stemmed from—although I suspect he had a personal motive that supplemented the discharge of his duties with the thrill of vengeance. It was a matter of policy that no SS officer would ever be punished for harming an internee, even on a whim—but that his undisciplined conduct and unpresentable appearance did not get him reprimanded is curious. It deviated him from the conduct expected of a high-ranking SS officer, and that he was allowed to stay in charge is testament to the means-ends justifications of the National Socialist government. One of the ways in which Drescher's temperament manifested itself was a ritual of his, that came to be known

amongst the inmates as the Todtheater. Every Saturday, at ten o'clock, he would have all the idle officers in his command line up along one side of a square muddy patch of ground, behind the prison barracks. Any remaining SS guards would gather all the prisoners of our block into the square. Of these, Drescher would select a single muselmann at random, drag them into the middle of the square patch of muddy ground, and execute them. Or not—sometimes it would satisfy him merely to pace around the selected haeftling, tormenting them by priming his sidearm, raising it up to their head, then lowering it with a laugh. Or slapping them, or kicking them, or forcing their face into the mud with his boot. He particularly enjoyed it when they wept, or soiled themselves. Once the poor wretch was sufficiently degraded, he would stroll off with a final laugh, without even bothering to dismiss the officers lined up before the scene. More often than not, however, he killed them. And on occasion, he would invite one of the SS in his command to take part in his sick pasttime. On the morning in question, Drescher selected a gypsy woman from the crowd of prisoners. Being healthier than the usual prisoners he selected, and still possessing that lingering scrap of vivacity so absent from the other muselmanner, she immediately began pleading with him in loud, shrill cries. He dragged her out by the arm into the middle of the patch and forced her to her knees. She slumped back, weeping with all the restraint she could muster. I could not see her face clearly, for she was wrapped head-to-toe in a filthy grey shawl, but I believe her to have been middle aged. Though in the centre of the yard, hunched over and racked with despair, she resembled little more than a trembling pile of rags. Drescher paced before his officers for a minute or so, studying the pathetic figure, his sidearm drawn and hanging by his side. After a long time he turned abruptly to the officer behind him and held out the gun. “Private Koehler. If you will.” Koehler remained at attention. Although he was a fair distance from where I was standing, I felt I could make out all the details of his face. His eyes darted from the gun, to the prisoner, and then moved into that neutral space adopted by soldiers at attention: staring directly ahead, neither at Drescher nor away from him. “No, sir,” he replied, with a quick shake of his head. The blockführer responded as though he hadn't heard properly. “Execute the prisoner, private.” “No, sir.” Drescher seemed to realise what the young private was doing, and was momentarily stunned. “Private Koehler! I order you to shoot the prisoner!” “I will not shoot her, sir,” he said, firmly. “The punishment for disobeying a commanding officer is execution, Private!” “Then I will die with a clear conscience, sir!” Koehler barked, looking his superior in the eye. Perhaps the thought occurred to Drescher to ascertain the motive for Koehler's insubordination—why this sudden ideological shift, a sudden resistance to the forces around him. But the momentum of the situation, and his own need to appear in control, seemed to sweep him up. He took a step back from Koehler, whose eyes followed his own. He raised the Luger to Koehler's nose. And he fired. A sharp report, a burst of crimson, and Koehler fell to the ground. Several of the SS officers flinched at the gunshot, and one or two dared to break stance to look over at the corpse of the young Private. Drescher ran his free hand through his hair, staring at the body in front of him. The despair of the gypsy woman had waned during the altercation, and she chanced to look up from the ground. In a snap, Drescher turned to her and raised the gun. She screamed and held up her hands, and he emptied the clip into her. She slumped forward into the mud. And that was it. Koehler’s body was dumped in a mass grave alongside the deceased internees. About a month after this incident, Allied forces liberated the camp, rescuing myself and the remaining survivors. By this point, Koehler's body had decomposed and was unrecognisable. Drescher, meanwhile, had fled. He was arrested by Interpol agents two years ago in Puerto Madryn, Argentina. Those were the facts of Herr Koehler's life. And as I near my own end, I offer you this document as a paltry tribute to the man, and as his sole legacy. — J.G.

WIRED

01.05.2012

concrete.wired@uea.ac.uk

the class of 2012

mass effect

The Mass Effect series has been one of gaming’s great series this generation, and Commander Shepard’s epic story has finally reached its conclusion in Mass Effect 3, with it being the task of Shepard and his squad to prevent the Reapers, an ancient, technologically advanced race, destroying Earth. The game, and series as a whole, is reliant on player choice, with the storyline being shaped and changed by the preferences of the player. The combat system has been further refined, with it being most comparable to the Gears of War series, and the graphics are amongst the best ever seen. Although the ending has proven to be controversial, it is hard to deny that, with the addition of multiplayer, the final chapter in the saga is a worthy ending.

the elder scrolls v: skyrim It would be impossible to create this list without mentioning Skyrim, probably the most talked about game of all of last year. Simply put, this game is vast. There is the main quest, which involves the player having to slay the dragon god Aludin, but there is so much more to this open-world adventure, with there being five more questlines, a huge world to explore, dragons to slay, potions to conjure, and a ridiculous amount of miscellaneous quests to embark on. With incredible graphics and a beautiful soundtrack, Skyrim will suck dozens and dozens of hours out of your life, and with downloadable content on the horizon, the seemingly never ending game is about to get even longer.

batman: arkham city Upon release in 2009, Rocksteady’s Batman: Arkham Asylum was christened as the greatest superhero game of all time. It would not hold that award for very long. Arkham City is bigger and better than the original, with it being one of the best third-person adventure games ever created. Batman is trapped in Arkham City, a new prison that has replaced Arkham Asylum and is five times bigger than its predecessor, and must now stop the chaos being created by some of Gotham’s most famous criminals. The feeling of claustrophobia found in Arkham Asylum has been replaced by a desire for exploration, with a far greater landscape for Batman to venture across. New gadgets, more recognisable s u p e r- v i l l a i n s from Batman canon, more R i d d l e r challenges, and even the playable character of Catwoman, makes Arkham City the total package.

uncharted 3:

drake’s deception The Uncharted series has become the main reason to purchase a Playstation 3, with the first two games being fantastic Indiana Jones inspired action games, and Naughty Dog have raised the bar once again. Players follow Nathan Drake through a variety of locations, including London, Paris, and the Rub’ al Khali desert, to find the legendary lost city of the Iram of the Pillars. The cover-based combat system is fast paced and exciting, with there being an added emphasis on hand-to-hand combat this time around. Drake and company are just as hilarious as always, with there being many genuinely funny moments in the script. The action set pieces are amongst the best in gaming history, with puzzles being welcomed as a change of pace, which are all made even better by the mesmerising graphics, showing the PS3 at its absolute best. The new standard for the action genre.

the legend of zelda: skyward sword After the release of Twilight Princess in 2006, Zelda fans had to wait five years for the next console entry in Nintendo’s beloved adventure series. They were not disappointed, with Skyward Sword arguably being the best entry in the series since the iconic N64 classic Ocarina of Time. The graphical style employed by Nintendo is superb, combining the cartoonish cell-shading of Wind Waker with the gritty realism of Twilight Princess, to create a

01.05.2012

WIRED

concrete.wired@uea.ac.uk

confessions of a football manager

By now everyone’s favourite football management simulator, Football Manager is a fatal timewaster. Mr. Burns once said in The Simpsons that to succeed in business you must slay the following “dragons”: family, religion and friends. Substitute “religion” with “degree” and you have the perfect recipe for success in this virtual world, where with sufficient playing time, you actually begin to believe that you are the manager of Real Madrid, who happen to have won every trophy possible under your expert stewardship. And then you wake up, and realise it was all a dream. Well, almost. Over the years, Football Manager has, quite literally, led to the breakdown of marriages, and contributed to social isolation far beyond the capabilities of other procrastination devices such as Facebook and YouTube. The amount of time users spent playing the game caused so much concern to its creators that they introduced a

humorous “clock”, which informs you how long you have spent playing Football Manager in total, and on the day in question. Personally, I’m both slightly proud and rather uncomfortable that I have spent 611 hours playing (and that is just on FM2011) in what is essentially a virtual world. In that time, I have succeeded at countless clubs, filled their trophy cabinets and signed hundreds and hundreds of players. Yet, like getting your character a good job on The Sims, it counts for nothing. Fortunately, as a single man, I can afford to get away with such an addiction. But many cannot. Your girlfriend will not (and rightly so) put up with nights in spent watching you play the away leg of a Champions League quarter final managing Lincoln City or an equally inexplicable side. Nor should she. The game has also blurred the boundaries between reality and fantasy. Players have

been known to complain about their in-game stats, reflecting the esteem in which Football Manager is held. A friend of mine played last year’s incarnation of the series for such a long time that a “son”, bearing the same name, was generated for him. Yes, a son. You heard correctly. However, Football Manager’s success makes it a surprisingly important part of modern football. This is in the real world now. Premier League clubs, including Everton, have been known to use the game’s vast network of players, more than 300,000, located by 1,500 scouts in 51 countries. Creator Miles Jacobsen calls it “the greatest spread-sheet in the world”. And who would argue with him? Chris King

retro column: company of heroes When the words “real time strategy” spring to mind many of you probably think of Age of Empires, tinkering with endless macros and having as much fun as one might do at a church fete, to this I say shame on you. While myself would never claim to be an avid gamer I can safely say that Relic’s Company of Heroes is probably the most engaging, visceral and plain fun gaming experiences you can have on PC even now six years on from its initial and acclaimed release. Taking a genre long considered dusty and antiquated and transforming it into a brutal frenzy of high body counts, spraying blood and frantic tactical warfare Relic took gamers in 2006 on to the battlefield like never before combining an honest portrayal of the inhumanity of war with the pathos of your favourite war movie. Knowing its audience is the great strength of Company of Heroes, smacking of Saving Private Ryan and Band of Brothers, its campaign mode takes you from Omaha beach all the way through to the Falaise Pocket giving you the chance to play as the 101st Airborne, command the might of Allied heavy armour and force the surrender of the entire German Seventh Army. Even if the historical side has no appeal to you the gameplay is stupidly engrossing, deeply immersive and graphically (even now on a half decent PC) stupendous with the 360 degree in game camera allowing you to get so close to the action you’ll feel like you’re playing Call of Duty 2, even on an above average laptop the game runs quite well meaning there’s really very few excuses not to get familiar with one of the best PC games

of all time. However for all this talk of visuals and story, Company of Heroes greatest strength will always be its playability, combining fluid gameplay, excellent physics and an incredible number of units and abilities

taking your skills online is where Company of Heroes really shines, still drawing thousands of players daily from all over the world. A good online match can take hours if need be and seldom will you ever feel more invested in a game, with the option to play as the Axis,

a British expansion pack and now a mod that allows players to take on the Eastern Front Company of Heroes is still setting the bar for PC games let alone real time strategy. Rory Hutchinson

FASHION the hotlist smokin’ Rita Ora Our new style crush.

01.05.2012

one girl, one toff

Elbow patches “Shabby chic” (bought at vast expense) is oh-sonow.

chokin’

but she forgot

...

What do you look for in a girl? Enthusiasm, sense of humour and sex appeal. So, basically Mila Kunis. So brunettes over blondes? When people say they have a type, I think that’s bullshit. If the right girl comes along then it could be anyone. It could even be someone fat. A fat plumber. I’m nice like that.

Just hug? I give special hugs. What’s your biggest turn off? Anyone with a bad vibe; a girl who isn’t positive. Are you in a relationship right now? No. If the right girl comes along then, maybe. But I’m not looking for one. Top relationship advice? Don’t cheat. If you cheat then you’re not in love with her. Game over. I’m a nice guy, I’m the nicest guy you’ll ever meet. I’m so loyal. Are you happy at the moment? I’m always happy.

Black loo roll Weird.

The UEA library police Stop putting out stuff in boxes when we pop out for coffee.

hannah britt did intend to ask jamie laing about fashion,

Describe your perfect date I meet the girl at a fondue restaurant. We have fondue together and flirt over cheese. We then walk around London, maybe sitting in a park looking at the stars, making shapes out of the stars, you know, like that one looks like a pillow. We then go home and ...hug.

Hear’say Remember them? They were great.

concrete.fashion@uea.ac.uk

Would you ever get with a student? Yes. Have you ever got with a student on one of these press appearances? Yes. Would you get with a student from UEA? If they come up to me and I fall in love with them then yes. You wanna move a little closer? What’s the plan for after MIC? My plan for after MIC involves me and Spencer. It’s entertainment related, I can’t tell you any more. The dream is to someday get into TV. In 10 years time where would you like to be? In the Playboy Mansion, running it. I’d like to merge the Willy Wonka factory with the Playboy Mansion. Me and Spencer together; he runs through my veins, he’s my brother. I love that boy. If there was a fire in my house and I could take one thing, I’d take Spencer. [We’re told we have a minute left of the interview] We have a minute left... What can we do in a minute? We can do a lot in a minute Plus, I’m really quick. Do you want my number? Is this going to be printed? Don’t worry, I won’t print your number ...

meanwhile, on campus nottie to hottie

fashion editor applications:

Concrete’s News editor: what a difference a year makes

the highlights

From this ...

“I have a Grade 2 spelling award from my prep school ...” “I really love the colour blue.” “I can’t wait for the September issue because everyone knows it is the most important one for all fashionistas.”

The drought We’ll always remember the terrible drought of 2012. Not.

“The KAOS fashion show should feature just swimwear and lingerie.”

... to this!

“People should wear shorts all year round.” “I like hats because hats are cool.”

over and out

From “muffgate” to the KAOS Fashion Show, it’s been an eventful year for Concrete Fashion. We would like to thank everyone who has contributed this year. And Beyonce, we would like to thank her too. Good luck to Jess and Lucy - the new fashion team! We’ve been Hannah and Milly, thank you for reading.

01.05.2012

FASHION

concrete.fashion@uea.ac.uk

Photo: Hannah Kroeker, Model: Ally Kayler

library love jess beech on what to wear during essay time When leaving the library to pop into the Hive is becoming the most exciting part of your day, you know you have got a problem. We have all been there; weeping in the phone zone, being passed by people looking great, and having to conclude that they must have just popped in for a book. When your magazines have been confiscated and replaced with a textbook, the library is the only available source of fashion inspiration. It is a good place to start though, as campus has a wealth of well-dressed people. Surely this provides the motivation to make a bit more effort, or at least invest in some waterproof mascara

before your next breakdown. The first tip for looking good in the library is wearing bottoms that will not crease. Choose light denim shorts over tights, they’re comfortable and not too restricting. Alternatively, go for a basic dress, but avoid jersey like the plague, or you will end up a looking crumpled mess. Try to avoid dark colours. These will make you appear washed out if you are fair skinned and will only help to darken your mood. Even though it is not quite summer outside yet, try to go for a vibrant floral print, or at least a brightly coloured top. Keep the same approach for your make up,

a bit of peach blusher and a red lip goes a long way towards lifting your face and outfit. There is nothing worse than being asked sympathetically if you’re okay and having to explain that you’re fine, this is just what your face looks like without makeup. If you keep your outfit bright, you’ll feel better and avoid your highlighter collection becoming more covetable than your wardrobe. The best hairstyle for achieving library chic is undoubtedly the high ponytail. It strikes a balance between looking professional and cute, and of course keeps your hair out of your face. If this is a little

bit boring for you, add little plaits at the side or a bow on top for a Blair Waldorf kind of look. It may sound mumsy, but don’t forget to wear layers. The library manages to cover many climates within its building, from the ridiculous sunshine on floor 2 to the chilly depths of 01. Bring a cardigan, because god knows where there will be a free plug. Whether you are actually working, chatting to your friends or Googling pictures of baby animals whilst silently weeping, if the library is becoming the place to socialise, you may as well look good while you’re there.

ARTS

01.05.2012

sister act: theatre royal

The West End hit adaption of the Whoopi Goldberg film, Sister Act, has come on tour to Norwich. It is difficult to articulate the great number of reasons Sister Act on stage has touched audiences all over the UK. The plot of the highly acclaimed 1992 movie is transplanted to the late 1970s, with a wardrobe and score to match. Like the film, the musical focuses on the story of Delores Van Cartier (like the diamonds, darling),

an ex-Catholic school student and aspiring star who, after witnessing a murder by her mobster boyfriend Curtis Jackson, is placed in a witness protection scheme at a convent. The musical uses a completely different soundtrack to the film, a motown and disco-inspired collection of original songs to match the new setting. The new score, composed by Alan Menken, perfectly charts the transformation of the choir of tone-deaf

concrete.arts@uea.ac.uk

nuns into a group of bedazzled disco-divas who fill the pews of the previously abandoned church. Decked in brand new sequined habits the closing number of the first half (a reprise of the opening number, Take Me to Heaven) was a funky, all-singing, all-dancing ensemble number, with infectious energy levels that encompassed the entire theatre. The star-boosted cast (which features two ex-soap stars, Denise Black from Coronation Street, and Michael Starke from Brookside) was complemented by a fantastic set and wardrobe. Regular and smooth changes seamlessly transformed the stage from a nightclub lounge into the stark convent along with a number of other scenes including a surreal number in the streets of Philadelphia with a chorus of homeless people. The set changes were built into the action of the show and were a pleasure to watch. However, it was the voice of Cynthia Erviro, playing Delores Van Cartier, which stole the show. From the opening number Take Me to Heaven, a medley of disco-infused soul to the touching Sister Act Erviro displayed the range and power necessary for any leading lady. The standing ovation at the end of the performance was more than well-deserved. Don’t miss this incredible show.

conducted by Paul McGrath. The Barber of Seville is a two-act opera following the story of Count Almaviva, who has fallen hopelessly in love with Rosina, the ward of Doctor Bartolo who intends to marry her for himself because of her rich inheritance. Count Almaviva enlists the help of the barber Figaro, who is known for his match making skills in the city. With his help Count Almaviva decides to disguise himself as a poor soldier, Lindoro, so he can then get billeted to Dr Bartolo’s house. As expected this causes a lot of confusion and hilarity as the plot ensues.

edinburgh fringe fest for uea comedians

Interestingly, the reception of the opera at its premiere in Rome in 1816 was poor. Rosini was considered to have gone against the true Italian music of the time and the opera was seen as too harmonic. Rosini had been influenced by other great, foreign composers such as Mozart and Haydn, but politically this was unfortunate at the time. However, the less aristocratic audiences loved it and this love has continued for over 200 years, with it being one of the most successful comic operas on the modern stage still today. The main stars of the show were, of course, Rosini, played by the talented mezzosoprano Kitty Whately, who recently won the Kathleen Ferrier Award in 2011 and studied at the Guildhall School of Music and Drama and is currently at the RCMIOS. She has a growing list of performances as does Nicholas Sharratt, the tenor playing Count Almaviva, whose extensive repertoire will include two future world premieres. Cozmin Sime played the Barber and, as with the rest of the cast, proved impressive, not just in terms of singing but acting too, which is just as important as singing the arias correctly. This led to a very enjoyable evening and other brilliant performances from this talented company to look forward to.

A handful of UEA Headlights Comedy society members will be lighting up the stages of Edinburgh Fringe Festival this summer with their “Beast of the East: Free Comedy Showcase”. The show is set to star UEA students Robert Turner, Charlie Tarran, Luis Forte, Eleanor Overvoorde, Scott Mills, Neal Goldsmith and “mystery special guests”. There will be performances at noon across five dates in August, of what has been called a “bizarre sketch and standup showcase”. Forte, part of the group heading to head to the Scottish capital, offered Concrete a sneak preview of what to expect: “The show will be a mix of standup comedy, poetry and a few sketches, and is set to feature a number of special guest comedians. I’d tell people to expect almost a cabaret night, but not quite. “We’ve never performed the show at UEA before, but we will hopefully be doing a preview show at the end of term in Norwich. This will be a free entry show, and all the money raised from donations will go towards funding the £250 paid by the show’s cast to enter the Fringe Festival.” Forte added: “We’re aiming the show at students as well as members of the public, pretty much anyone over the age of 16. It’ll be a good mix of silliness, a bit of strong language, and should be quite surreal too.” Tarran, who is also due to travel to Edinburgh with Headlights, offered a bit of background on the group: “The Beast of the East is a group of young comedians all studying in Norwich. We all met at UEA’s comedy society, Headlights. “The idea behind the name is to create a sense of mystery around our show which is structured like a circus. We’ve got a ringmaster, a lion, a clown and three performers who will turn their hand to anything to get a laugh.” Edinburgh Fringe is the world’s largest arts festival, and is known for showcasing experimental works. It has also furthered the careers of many comedy performers, including Rowan Atkinson and Stephen Fry. Each performance is due to last for just under an hour, and will take place in The Basement Bar of the Phoenix Bar. Further details can be found on the Laughing Horse Comedy website (www. laughinghorsecomedy.co.uk).

Marian Davidson

Chris King

Hasina Allen

the barber of seville: theatre royal

The English Touring Opera gave a brilliant performance of The Barber of Seville to an almost full house and had the audience enthralled by the beautiful music and voices. Sung in English, this production of Gioachino Rossini’s Italian opera made the humour of the piece accessible to all people. The translation into English was not only helpful to understanding the plot but it also added to the comedy. Being one of the most popular comic operas, the English Touring Opera managed to capture the spirit of the story and the music very well. The orchestra gave a note-perfect performance too that was delightful to hear,

01.05.2012

Why do you think Drama has continued to be an important society at UEA? I think DramaSoc continues to have an impact at UEA partly because of the quality of productions, which engage and excite so many students every term, and also its inclusiveness. We pride ourselves on providing as many opportunities as possible for our members to get involved [in] and we are continually trying to improve this: this year we’ve included opportunities for students to submit their own original work for performance, run drama workshops by students and professionals alike, and arranged theatre trips to go and see professional productions in Norwich, as well as increasing the number of shows we put on each term. What is DramaSoc hoping to achieve next year?

ARTS

concrete.arts@uea.ac.uk

a year gone by for uea dance, drama and comedy The committee will be handing over soon, and I am sure they are going to do a fabulous job. We aim to widen our reach beyond campus, by increasing the number of performances we do in city centre venues, and by doing outreach work with schools or in community centres. Our annual musical will come around again bigger and better than ever, and more and more people will know about what fantastic things the society is creating. I’d like to see some artistic collaborations with other societies as well. Keep an eye out for what DramaSoc has to offer next year, and watch us as we continue to grow!

What can students expect from Dancesport in the future? We have a few plans to make it even bigger and better! After the success of Strictly we want to host an inter-varsity competition here at UEA. There are many competitions that are held throughout the year at different universities, so we want to do a similar thing and invite other universities to come and compete. We have also been pioneering our community projects where we go into local schools and care homes to teach dance as well as putting on demonstrations. We want to take that further next year and establish it as a part of UEA’s volunteering scheme.

Strictly UEA was a big success, selling out completely. Would you say it was Dancesport’s best achievement this year? As a club we were overwhelmed by how successful the event turned out to be, and it was a credit to all those who took part as all their hard work paid off!

this week in arts history

Thanks to Jenny Woods, Carl Scutt and Gurdas Singh Sually for speaking to Concrete Arts.

american beauty audrey hepburn was born on 4 may 1929.

How is the society going to continue to grow? In the next year we want as many people as possible to come along and laugh with us. Whether you want to perform, write or watch comedy, or even just hang out with a great group of people, we want to make Headlights the place to be. University should be full of laughter and creative expression and we want to continue giving people an outlet for both of those things every Friday night!

Interviews by Bethany Wyatt.

... 1929

What has been the highlight for Headlights this year? Our highlight was unquestionably supporting Delete The Banjax in the LCR. It’s fantastic we’re allowed to continue booking excellent acts through the Union, and that people are beginning to realise we have our finger on the pulse of great, up-and-coming comedy. It was nice for us to get some stage time too, as it meant rewarding all of our writers, actors and directors for their heard work throughout the year.

Reduce Re-Use Recycle

June 2012

Getting ready to Move out?

Your Union, University and local Norwich charity NANSA want the items you no longer need Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll soon have different coloured bags delivered to you:

1. NANSA - green bag Clothing Handbags Footwear Jewellery and accessories Books, DVDs and CDs Electrical items

NANSA believes that all people with disabilities are entitled to full inclusion in society. We aim to empower Norfolk people with disabilities to achieve their life aspirations.

2. Kitchenware - red bag Clean kitchenware Pots, pans, crockery Cutlery, utensils Baking tins, etc. Anything you use to cook, eat or drink with

Union of University of East Anglia Students (UUEAS) is a registered charity England and Wales no 1139778

01.05.2012

concrete.tv@uea.ac.uk

TELEVISION

a second time around

venue is jolly excited about two brilliant shows that have recently returned to our screens

GAME OF THRONES Based on George R.R. Martin’s best-selling series of novels, A Song of Ice and Fire, Game of Thrones was acclaimed by fans and critics alike, developing a mass following soon after its original broadcast last year. With just the right balance of violence, gore, sex, nudity, infanticide, incest, dragons and anything else likely to disgust and intrigue you all at once, the series shows no signs of faltering any time soon – it was renewed for a third season just nine days after the premiere of the second. After a pedestrian start to the second season (possibly due to the loss of Sean Bean’s Eddard Stark), the show has picked up the pace, with recent episode, Garden of Bones, being one of the best so far. The series has continued to create complex and visually stunning worlds with the introduction of the arcane Dragonstone and the oddly sinister city of Qarth. Indeed, the show feeds off a vast array of parallel storylines from across the kingdom of Westeros and beyond, with the second season ably introducing an enticing array of new characters capable of tipping the balance of the story in new directions.

GRANDMA’S HOUSE Returning to BBC2 almost entirely without publicity or particular ratings success, the second series of Grandma’s House has, nonetheless, made a welcome return. Written by and starring ex-Never Mind the Buzzcocks host turned stand-up comedian Simon Amstell, it’s a low-key comedy featuring Amstell playing a version of himself surrounded by a bizarre, fueding fictional family. Early criticism of the first series centrered upon Amstell’s inability to act very well, failing to appreciate that this was half the joke; he’s playing himself – neurotic, vulnerable, self-aware, and just trying to live with some happiness. Critics eventually learned to enjoy the series, and its positive critical reception can be thanked for its return. The shows style is fairly unique compared to its various British contemporaries. Amstell awkwardly wanders through scenes dispensing his trademark sardonic wit, which does occassionally make for odd viewing; the self-consciousness of the show does get a little wearing at times, but it’s nice to see a comedy showing a more self-deprecatory side, and not trying to sledgehammer its viewers with a constant barrage of “jokes.” If you want that, I would recommend something like Not Going Out. I’m not

hbo’s sprawling epic is back, with more kings, more violence and a legion of new fans The broad variety of characters and the twists of their respective narrative arcs are the key to the show’s success and diverse fandom. Whether it be the noble and kind Jon Snow searching for his uncle, Daenerys Targaryen wandering about the desert looking to feed her baby dragons, or the cunning and compassionate Tyrion Lannister doing his best to keep his odious relatives in check, each story is completely believable and utterly compelling. Furthermore, superb performances from the likes of the wonderful Peter Dinklage (Tyrion) allow these stories to be told with consummate style. While it may be possible for first-time viewers to understand Game of Thrones, my personal recommendation would be to buy the first season box set, have a wildly indulgent marathon and then jump right in to the most recent episodes. However you choose to go about it, everyone should watch Game of Thrones – trust me, you won’t regret it. Matt Mulcahy

a second series of simon amstell’s understated celebration of family sure why that’s still being made, other than providing endless material for late-night Dave repeats until 2026 ... Further, it’s also nice to see a show whose main character is gay who isn’t played by John Barrowman, and without that being the driving force of the show or repeatedly mentioned. The new episode focused on Simon’s one night stand with a boy a bit too young for him who drugged him with MDMA, but whereas this would be a controversial plot line in a more hyperbolic show, here it’s treated as normative, and with endearing awkwardness (such as shouting “No erections in the kitchen!” when sexual tension rears its terrifying head). Events which would otherwise be dramatic plot points are usurped by mundane family tensions, occassionally punctuated by Grandma’s offer of snacks to defuse arguments. So, if you prefer comedy that’s a bit smarter, then I’d heartily reccomend you catch up with this sleeper hit. With a confidence in its wit that flows direct from a brillaint ensemble cast and great writing, Grandma’s House is a show that deserves far more of an audience.

James Sykes

FILM

01.05.2012

concrete.film@uea.ac.uk

avengers assemble Joss Whedon’s Marvel’s Avengers Assemble, to give the film known to most simply as The Avengers its cumbersome full title, has behind it a rather long, speculation-steeped trail. Since the brief debut of Samuel L. Jackson as S.H.I.E.L.D director Nick Fury in a scene following the credits of 2008’s Iron Man, internet forums have been alight with salivating fanboys attempting to divine which of their favourite characters would be making an appearance. With each new release focusing on a member of the super-team, this fervent contemplation only intensified, up to a point at which some audience members held the appearance of the monocular man of mystery in the film’s closing moments with greater anticipation than that of the titular hero himself. For many, this intersection of the paths woven through five productions of massively varying quality will not disappoint. Identikit aliens will flood the streets of New York, bulky heroes and a token buxom her-

oine will deliver their pre-attack quips and Hulk will, indeed, smash. Loki (Tom Hiddleston), the Norse God of lies and mischief who was thought vanquished at the close of the 2011 title, Thor, has formed an alliance with an extraterrestrial race known as the Chitauri and is plotting an invasion of Earth. With the Tesseract, the item of seemingly limitless power which drove Captain America’s narrative, stolen, the planet is in desperate need of the protection that only a team of extraordinary beings can provide and so, the Avengers assemble! As a production driven by four wellloved characters portrayed by high-grossing actors, Whedon’s script, rather than paying equal tribute to the heroes in a somewhat coherent fashion, appears on screen as something more akin to children vying for the approval of a parent. One liners come thick and fast, with emphasis on the thick. Truly amusing demonstrations of the two displaced heroes, Thor and Captain America/Steve Rogers (a wonderfully ham-

my Chris Hemsworth and Chris Evans in a saddeningly understated performance, respectively) attempting to adapt to the world as it is today are trampled by the throwaway playground insults of Robert Downey Jr.’s Tony Stark/Iron Man. In a manner befitting his ego of Charlie Sheen proportions, Stark attempts to quash any character development that may exist outside of himself through his supposed bad boy antics, much as he did in his native film series. A green, muscular, glimmer of hope is provided, however, in the form of Dr. Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo) also known as The Incredible Hulk (voiced by Lou Ferrigno). Ruffalo’s mellow genius provides a haven for the viewer from his squabbling teammates, making the eventual release of “the other guy” all the more spectacular. The Hulk sequences are a delight to behold, with his opening showdown with a fellow Avenger being sure to elicit whoops from every viewer who as a child would endlessly pit fictional figures against one

another in their minds. It’s a shame, then, that at the climax of this brief battle, which takes up a small portion of Avengers Assemble’s second largest set-piece, the Hulk (and therefore also his “host”) is cast aside until he is next required to pulverise something. The greatest damage to the world of Avengers Assemble is not wrought by giant green knuckles, however, but by a complete lack of explanation of the Chitauri’s origins or motives. Seemingly created just as cannon fodder between the group and Loki, the moments leading up to the final unleashing of the invading force are completely devoid of suspense, making the heroes’ dispatching of them in droves all the more tiresome. While Avengers Assemble fails in achieving its primary goal as a fantasy action film, its few outstanding characters prevent its 123 minute running time from becoming wholly unbearable. Tom Moore

01.05.2012

the cabin in the woods

So stop me if you’ve heard this one. Five teenagers go to a secluded cabin and are attacked by an evil, supernatural force. No, you haven’t heard this one. The Cabin in the Woods turns everything you know about the horror genre on its head while still being a hugely enjoyable horror movie itself. If you’ve ever wondered why the group split up instead of staying together, this movie will tell you. If you’ve ever wondered why they don’t just drive away from the cabin, this movie will tell you. Many had high hopes for this movie, simply because Joss Whedon wrote it. His other offering this month, Avengers

FILM

concrete.film@uea.ac.uk

salmon fishing in the yemen

Assemble, will no doubt be far more popular than this little one but it’s worth seeing this too. Whedon has written a ground breaking horror movie. It’s best not to describe the plot beyond the basic premise because the less you know about this movie, the better it is. To get the best sense of the feel of this movie, think Scream meets The Evil Dead. It blends unrelenting horror with perfectly written humour. If you’re a lover of horror movies, or just a lover of movies, see this one. Adam Dawson

Everything you need to know about this British romantic comedy is discernible from the title and the obvious name echoes the rest of the film’s one-dimensional nature. Needless to say it offers no surprises. Ewan McGregor plays Fred, a fishing expert, whose marriage is veering towards crisis. He is asked to run a project by an ambitious sheikh, Amr Waked, in which he must introduce salmon to the Yemen. His partner in this is Harriet, played by Emily Blunt, who is also having romantic difficulties as her boyfriend is missing in action in Afghanistan. Their mutual relationship issues and the inspiration of the

tom moore attends a special screening of into the abyss: a tale of death, a tale of life, followed by a live satellite q&a with director, werner herzog. Recently, local theatre Cinema City, along with approximately fifty other Picturehouse cinemas, played host to a screening of acclaimed German auteur Werner Herzog’s most recent documentary Into the Abyss: A Tale of Death, A Tale of Life, followed by a question and answer session screened live via satellite from a cinema in Manchester. Herzog took Into the Abyss’ title from a Friedrich Nietzsche quotation, which reads “Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you,” a phrase which becomes more chillingly appropriate as the

film progresses. The story presents of a trio of murders and their fallout through interviews with the two men convicted for them and the people surrounding the cases. One of the convicted, Michael Perry, was sentenced to death at the age of 28, a sentence carried out just eight days after he met with Herzog. The softly-spoken director plays a more passive role in his recent work, allowing whichever emotion evoked by the object or event being filmed to go uninterrupted by narration. When asked about this manipulation of the scene in previous titles and how it affects the representation of what is “real”, Herzog repeated a line that he has

used in several interviews: “I’m looking for an ecstasy of truth.” He desires to provide the viewer with a “heightened” sense of truth; a poetry of sorts that is to be found beneath the surface which is presented by a good deal of documentary filmmakers, especially those who support the cinéma verité movement which Herzog views with disdain. Into the Abyss is, as its full title indicates, a tale of death, that which is all too easily dealt out by criminals and the system which seeks to punish them. Secondly it is a tale of life, life that so few appreciate well enough to reflect how easily it may be frittered away.

bizarre fishing project push them together and they inevitably find themselves in love. It’s not the best performance you’ll see from either Ewan McGregor or Emily Blunt, but it’s by no means terrible either, with Fred’s character being the most charming element the film has to offer. The film tries its hardest but with the absurdity of breeding salmon in the Middle East, and the barrage of fish-based metaphors, it ends up disappointing. It feels flat, dull, predictable and, much like fishing itself, I can’t really see the point. Matthew Francis

ranter’s corner A trip to the cinema is no longer a fun day out; it is a serious investment. A student priced cinema ticket will set you back around seven pounds on average. Seven pounds. To see a film, once, in a big dark room with sticky floors, full of people you don’t know, who will talk the whole way through and get up to “quickly nip to the loo”, conveniently blocking your view during the most important scene. No to mention that before the film even starts you have to endure at least twenty minutes of adverts, most of which no one cares about. Amanda Seyfried starring in an action movie. The horror. However, this also raises the point that mainstream cinemas must be making a colossal amount of money simply from “ironic” Orange product integration adverts. So high ticket prices surely can’t be necessary with so much money being made through advertising. And don’t even get me started on the snacks. There is no such thing as a “cinema experience” anymore, or if there is, it is rubbish. My advice, wait a few months for the stupidly early DVD release and enjoy a film in the comfort of your own home. Saul Holmes

FILM

01.05.2012

concrete.film@uea.ac.uk

battleship

the popcorn chart venue’s top 5 teen movies

One might have a slightly cynical view of Battleship after viewing the trailer of Transformers style robots emerging from a turbulent ocean to confront a windswept Rihanna on an inflatable dingy. But throw commander Liam Neeson into the mix and up and coming star of the cinema, Taylor Kitsch and you have yourself an interesting and promising cast. Rihanna’s movie debut was something of a success. No, she didn’t break out into song at any point (although you are treated to a few lines of humming) and yes the majority of her lines consisted of two word interjections: along the lines of “boom” and “take that you bad boy”, but she did manage to fill the movie

with shots looking vaguely anguished and appropriately wave and weather beaten. An overall convincing performance within the aliens taking over the world scenario. Battleship is essentially a sci-fi on alien invasion using naval battleships as the context. Amongst the mountains of cheese (“I have a bad feeling about this...” said as hugely destructive and apparently invincible alien forces have already succeeded in obliterating vast chunks of civilisation), there was a terrifying and gripping storyline and stunning visual effects, keeping you captivated for the entirety of the film. Definitely worth an Orange Wednesday. Becky Hazlewood

lockout

It’s 2079. The president’s daughter visits a maximum security prison on a humanitarian mission; typically she’s taken hostage as the prisoners break free of their cells and wreak havoc. The government’s only choice is to send in an ex-agent to save her. “He’s the best there is, but he’s a loose cannon” to quote the trailer. Not so in keeping with cinema cliché is the fact that this particular prison is in space. It sounds exciting, but it’s not. The Lockout may as well have taken place on earth; the few scenes which do take advantage of the outer space setting are typified by average CGI. Gimmicks aside, what’s most striking about Lockout is its strong sense of

humour. Guy Pearce wheels off one liners at an alarming rate and it works. Joseph Gilgun (Misfits) also gives an entertaining performance as a deranged convict doing his best to descend the prison into total anarchy. Peter Stormare is not as well typecast as the head of the Secret Service, who is apparently Scandinavian in 2079, based on his accent. Lockout never lingers on one scene for too long, keeping the film moving at an enjoyable rate. It’s also a visually impressive film, apart from average CGI. However it’s hard to justify recommending Lockout over the plethora of action films available. Alek Stoodley

ferris bueller’s day off (1986) John Hughes’ definitive 80s teen movie works on all the levels a teen movie should and has been rightly parodied and ripped off ever since. The characters are brilliant, particularly Ferris, who everyone wants to be a bit more like. And of course there are important lessons to be learnt, not only about how to lead a fulfilling life but also the best way to bunk school. But its Hughes’ direction and the way the film is put together that impresses the most. With fantastic cinematography and Ferris’s interaction with the audience, it feels slick, stylish and, above all, timeless. SAVE FERRIS. american pie (1997) Without doubt the funniest film on this list. American Pie addresses the rite of passage every young man must go through, but the humorous and unabashed way it deals with it is paramount to its success. There are hilariously painful moments in the film, as your laughs become mixed with gags and cringes: the “warm apple pie” sequence springs to mind. All these moments are, however, woven around the endearing story at the core of the film, raising it above the average tasteless teen comedy. And despite the countless questionable sequels it still stands as the one of the best teen movies of all time. american graffiti (1973) George’s Lucas’s American Graffiti is galaxies from Star Wars (literally). It tells the story of a group of friends’ last night together before college: the perfect formula for a teen movie. The individual stories of all the characters become intertwined as they each have their own journey and valuable life lesson to learn. The nostalgic

60s soundtrack binds these stories together and is non-stop throughout making it feel almost like a musical. What Lucas created in American Graffiti is a charming, cool, and often overlooked, film which delivers everything a teen movie should.

superbad (2007) Probably the seminal teen movie of the “naughties,” Superbad reprises the American Pie story as three socially peripheral young men begin their rite of passage before college. Almost as shameless and funny as American Pie, it certainly has you simultaneously laughing and cringing at times. Unlike its predecessor, however, the young men never achieve their ultimate goa,l but that doesn’t detract from the film as it’s their friendship which is more important. As well as starting the careers of Jonah Hill, Michael Cera and Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Superbad proved that great teen movies could be made after the millennium. ten things i hate about you

(1999)

Starring a young Heath Ledger and an even younger Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ten Things I Hate About You transplants Shakespeare’s Taming of The Shrew into an American high school. Add in a fantastic script and you have a near perfect teen movie. “Not bestow, my youngest daughter/Before I have a husband for the elder.” This plot device seems born to be transformed into a romantic comedy, and when you change marriage to dating it works perfectly. Ten Things I Hate About You is fun, entertaining and not only a great teen movie but an even better Shakespeare adaptation. Matthew Francis

01.05.2012

FILM

concrete.film@uea.ac.uk

modern classics: american pie (1999)

“This one time, at band camp ... ” are words which almost every teenager of our generation has uttered at some point, words synonymous with one film, American Pie. With American Pie: The Reunion about to hit cinemas, it’s the perfect time to revisit what kicked off the legacy. The original American Pie was released in 1999, just as computers and the internet were taking off, American Pie became the new teen movie for a new generation of a new millennium. Following four high school boys and their quest to lose their virginity before graduating and moving to college, American Pie has become the ultimate teen movie for the teenagers of the 21st century. Like a handful of films before, it brought what goes through teenage boys’ minds into mainstream comedy as the true phases of the lives of 17 and 18 year olds are exposed in an almost accurate comedic manner. American Pie has left a legacy in nearly all television and films for teenagers of the 2000s, including The Inbetweeners and even some aspects of Glee. Demonstrating all those embarrassing moments of the teenage years, from the awkward moment you receive “the talk” from a parent to the uncomfortable attempts of

summer film preview

asking someone out, American Pie captures the spirit of being seventeen and just wanting to get laid. Not only are boys’ views expressed, but it turns out, girls like sex too, and American Pie does not let you forget it. Conversely, boys have emotions too. A lot is owed to American Pie and its characters as their slang and customs have crept into British teenager culture. The film seems to suggest that it is suddenly acceptable to watch your friends’ sexual experiences over a webcam and to humiliate your friend as he struggles with girls. However, all is forgiven as we watch the caricatures of the characters that could only be American: suave and sophisticated Finch finally meets his match in the original MILF Stiffler’s mom, and of course Stiffler himself in all his crudeness. Michelle cannot be forgotten with her definitive quirkiness which is with no doubt a huge factor in how the American Pie sequels became so popular and with the classic characters set for a return, it is easy to predict that American Pie: The Reunion will be just as popular as other successes, Band Camp or The Wedding. Sarah Boughen

protection or cynical marketing? joseph murphy discusses the current state of censorship in the uk Unless you’ve been living a Douglas Coupland inspired reclusive lifestyle out in the desert, the laws of averages suggests that you will at least be aware of The Hunger Games. Perhaps one of the reasons for its staggering success was that, despite it’s dystopian subject matter of kids killing kids in a futuristic reality TV show, anyone could see it. Before it’s release the film was cut by several seconds to meet the BBFC’s requirements for a 12A, causing many to leap to the barricades, a copy of 1984 in one hand and a flag of defiance in the other. After all, it’s only been a few months since The Woman In Black was similarly cut for a 12A, and critics of the BBFC began sharpening their knives as they saw a new censorship scandal. But perhaps a step back needs to be taken here. The cutting of The Woman In Black was a cynical marketing ploy to draw in more children hoping to see Harry Potter pretending to be a grown up. Susan Hill’s ghostly classic, upon which the film was based, is not standard reading for most people under 15. They’re far more likely to be reading Suzanne Collins’s Hunger Games novels. The Hunger Games was not

cut to suppress its more satirical and questioning themes, but to make them easier for its target audience to digest. It was, after all, mostly shots of blood splashes that were removed, and it seems rather patronising to assume that kids will only realise that violence is bad if we rub their faces in it. Should we show Irreversible to toddlers to make it clear from an early age that rape is bad? Let’s not forget that the shower scene from Psycho, one of the most infamously shocking in cinema history, contains not a single shot of the knife piercing flesh. In fact the scene in The Hunger Games in which most of the cuts occurred remains the most shocking precisely because it’s impossible to tell what has or hasn’t been seen. If the cuts were forced upon the distributor by the BBFC, it would be a worrying step back towards the days of the ludicrous video nasties scare of the 1980s. At worst it seems like cynical marketing, but with Jafar Panahi’s current documentary This Is Not A Film describing how the Iranian government have banned him from filmmaking, it soon becomes clear that we’re not that bad off after all.

Summer 2012 looks set to be a stellar few months for film, with the release of some hugely anticipated movies. The superhero genre is to continue its success after Avengers Assemble has made its impact, with a reboot of the Spider-Man franchise and the long-awaited conclusion of Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy. The Amazing Spider-Man is a must-see simply because of the chance to find out whether director Marc Webb and leading man Andrew Garfield can live up to the massive success of Sam Raimi’s trilogy. The trailer shows promise, with all of the expected action and humorous lines like “You seriously think I’m a cop in a skin-tight red and blue suit?”, but Tobey Maguire was such an engaging Peter Parker that it may be hard for Garfield to shake him off. Sure to be a massive hit is The Dark Knight Rises. It remains to be seen whether the film can match the dizzying heights ofThe Dark Knight (one of the highest grossing movies of all time) but it will no doubt be a treat, despite fans’ concerns that villain Bane’s voice may be barely audible. In The Dark Knight Rises, Batman will meet his match once more eight years after he battled the Joker and took the rap for the crimes of Two Face. Gary Oldman is back as favourite Jim Gordon and Anne Hathaway has joined the cast as a hotly-anticipated Catwoman. 2012 is not only the year of the superheroes, but also that of Snow White, with the battle between Mirror Mirror and Snow White and the Huntsman. A number of critics argued that Snow White and the Huntsman would by far be the better film because of its darker tone, but the entertaining Mirror Mirror has made a solid performance at the box office. Some critics have also acceded that it is charming, with its lavish costumes and humorous scenes, including those involving the dwarves and the exchanges between Julia Roberts’ cougar of a queen and Armie Hammer’s dashing prince. Therefore, it will be interesting to see what is made now of The Huntsman. Most likely both films will be enjoyed by viewers for their different styles. The battle scenes in The Huntsman promise to be exhilarating and Chris Hemsworth, so brilliant as Thor, has been cast perfectly as the huntsman. It will be interesting to see how Kristen Stewart fares as Snow White, a character miles away from Bella Swan. One niggle is the fact that Stewart, as attractive as she is, does not quite match up to Charlize Theron (Queen Ravenna). The whole point of Snow White is meant to be that she is the fairest of them all. However, the most important part of the film will clearly be the acting, so the casting director can be forgiven on that point. With other new releases such as Ridley Scott’s Prometheus, musical Rock of Ages and Jeremy Renner’s starring role in The Bourne Legacy, cinema this summer is going to be quite a ride. Beth Wyatt

COMPETITIONS 1

01.05.2012

across

4 5

6 7

9 11 12

word wheel (left):

see how many words you can make.

T L

use the centre letter in every word.

U R

You

must

killer sudoku (right):

2. The name of the French Socialist Party leader (8, 8) 4. Designer of the team GB attire (6, 9) 5. Which pop star may want you to call her? (5, 3, 6) 8. A tough cider (9) 10. Which rapper doesn’t play football but he touches down everywhere? (7) 13. DJ Jazzy Jeff and Will Smith’s seasonal hit (10) 14. Footwear as well as popular holiday report (7) 15. PFA footballer of the year (5, 3, 6) 17. Which Japanese gaming company has reported huge losses? (8)

1. Which grime song has the lyrics “show me how you get down’” (8, 5) 3. A pagan festival celebrated on the longest day of the year (6, 8) 6. Poetry commonly containing 14 lines (6) 7. Avid Justin Beiber fans (9) 9. An inflatable sphere used for water games (5, 4) 11. Tennis grand slam held in England (9) 12. Which DJ’s song can also be found on the periodic table as Ti (5, 6) 14. Name of the main female character in 500 Days of Summer (6) 16. Organisers of Camp America (5)

down

concrete.competitions@uea.ac.uk

fill the grid so as to meet the following conditions:

each row, column, and sextet contains each

the sum of all numbers in a cage must match

no number appears more than once in a cage.

number exactly once.

the small number printed in its corner.

puzzles courtesy of john white

WIN RUSSELL KANE TICKETS Win two free tickets to see comedy legend Russell Kane at the LCR! Concrete has two free tickets to give away to the third UEA Comedy Club night at the LCR, this time featuring Russell Kane. Fosters Edinburgh Comedy Award Winner 2010 and the Barry Award 2011, Russell Kane has firmly established himself as one the best comics in the UK today. Aside from winning two of comedy’s most prestigious awards, 2011 was a prolific year for Russell: he rejoined ITV2’s I’m A Celebrity presenting team, broadcasting live every night. In addition to this, he presented BBC six part series Freak Like Me, and made an acclaimed appearance on BBC One’s flagship live comedy show Live at the Apollo. A regular on both radio and television

panel shows, Russell has appeared on Celebrity Juice, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats is a regular guest on The Wright Stuff, It’s Your Round, A Good Read and Britain’s Got More Talent. 2011 saw Russell host his own six part series for BBC Radio Two, Russell Kane’s Whistle Stop Tour. He was a finalist in Let’s Dance for Comic Relief, and was a guest on The Graham Norton Show. The Comedy Club night, which takes place on Thursday 24 May, also features support from Rob Beckett and Fergus Craig. Doors open at 7.30pm, with the show due to start at 8pm. Malcolm Hay of Time Out magazine described Kane’s act as combining “huge

energy and a freak physicality with a rapidly delivered torrent of remarks.” “Many comics feign weirdness, but this is the closest to the real deal: a breathless, raging, feral act ... Probably the most exciting comic discovery of the year, said Steve Bennett of Chortle.

To be in with a chance of winning, just submit your completed crossword to Union House reception by 12pm on Thursday 24 May. The winner will be contacted that day and tickets will be left at Union House reception.

LISTINGS

01.05.2012 concrete.listings@uea.co.uk

Tuesday 1 May Waterfront Gigs: The Quireboys @ The Waterfront Studio Price: £15.00 (7:30pm) The Waterfront Wednesday 2 May Waterfront Gigs: Blood Red Shoes (7:30pm) Price: £10.00 The Waterfront Alex Hone: Seven Years in the Bathroom (8pm) Price: £12 Norwich Arts Centre

Wednesday 9 May Waterfront Gigs: Alkaline Trio - 15th Anniversary Tour (7:30pm) Price: £16.50 The Waterfront Adam Kay’s Smutty Songs (8pm) Price: £16 Norwich Playhouse Tim Clare: How to be a Leader (8pm) Price: £8 Norwich Arts Centre

01 MAY Thursday 3 May Waterfront Gigs: Bloodstock Metal 2 The Masses Band Competition (Heat 1) presented by Metal Lust @ WF Studio (7:30pm) Price: £3.00 The Waterfront Box presents James Acaster: Amongst Other Things (7:30pm) Price: £6 Olives Gareth’s Big Fat Cat Pub Quiz (8pm) Price: £1 per person The Fat Cat

Thursday 10 May Waterfront Gigs: Guns 2 Roses + Metallica Reloaded + The Brink presented by Metal Lust (7:30pm) Price: £10/£8 (NUS) Advance The Waterfront Waterfront Gigs: Bloodstock Metal 2 The Masses Band Competition (Heat 2) presented by Metal Lust @ WF Studio (7:30pm) Price: £3.00 The Waterfront

14 MAY Cruisin for a Bluesin (8:30pm) Price: Free Rose Tavern

MELTDOWN + RAWKUS (10pm) Price £4.50/£3.50nus The Waterfront

Friday 4 May The Music House Acoustic Session (8pm) Price: voluntary contribution Music House

Classic 60s/70s Soul Motown Night (8pm) Price: £7.50/£6 Norwich City Football Club

Camille O’Sullivan: Feel (8pm) Price: £17.50 Norwich Playhouse

Tuesday 8 May Waterfront Gigs: Ladyhawke (7:30pm) Price: £15.00 The Waterfront

Saturday 5 May LCR Club Nights: A List (10:30pm) Price: £4.50 UEA LCR

Friday 11 May Waterfront Club Nights: Shogun Audio presented by Color (10pm) Price: £14 / £10 (NUS) Adv The Waterfront Saturday 12 May Waterfront Gigs: The Twilight Sad (7pm)Price: £8.00 Advance The Waterfront MELTDOWN + BRITPOPPIN (10pm) Price £4.50/£3.50nus The Waterfront

The Blues Club (8pm) Price: Free The Brickmakers

LCR Club Nights: Urban A List (10:30pm) Price: £4.50 UEA LCR Sunday 13 May 2012 LCR Gigs: Wretch 32 (7pm) Price: £12.50 UEA LCR Monday 14 May Waterfront Gigs: Marina and the Diamonds (7:30pm) Price: £17.50 The Waterfront

WHAT TO DO TO AFTER EXAMS although for some of you freedom may seem a long way away, venue is here to alleviate your exam suffering with some tips on what to do once it’s all over

Exams are over, but you still have a couple of months’ rent left to pay. Trying to fill this huge void can leave some studnetns feeling slightly lost. However, there are plenty of things to do with your time once you’ve put down your books.

Drink The time honoured tradition of indulging oneself in the consumption of alcoholic beverages is likely to be the most common form of end of year celebration for UEA students. From the square to the Prince of Wales Road, there are sure to be scenes of relieved students letting their hair down after a month or so of hard studying. For a different approach to drinking, the Union is hosting a beer festival (29-31 May), which will feature over

30 real ales and ciders. As an added bonus, admission to the LCR is free if you attend the evening festival. Tickets for this are £5.

Culture Now you have some time on your hands, why not delve into Norwich’s cultural scene? With the variety offered by Norwich’s theatres, the Playhouse and the Theatre Royal, and exhibitions constantly springing up all over the city, there are plenty of options. Cinema City also boasts a strong programme of screenings, so there really is no reason not to indulge yourself in the finer things in life, without the nagging feeling that you should be working.

Outdoor activities Once the rain has stopped and this terrible drought has passed, there are many things

you can do in the great outdoors. Running is a great way to enjoy the sunshine (should we get any) and work on that summer body, after a month spent sitting around eating junk food and only moving to find a new book. For those with bikes, and living off campus, the perfect tonic to the drudgery of the daily commute to campus could just be a bike ride on the roads and paths outside the city centre. After all, it is nice and flat.

Beach Make like Nicki Minaj and head to the beach, beach (you know the rest). Cromer and Sheringham are close enough by train and tickets are inexpensive. Should tacky coastal resorts be your thing, head to Great Yarmouth for a taste of the 1930s. Spending all day relaxing at the beach is always a great

option, however, taking a dip in the freezing North Sea most certainly isn’t. So for those wanting to hone their Baywatch impression, you have been warned.

Angst Or, ignoring all the above, you could be just as distant and anti-social as you were before the exams by spending your time worrying about them. Hours can be spent in your bedroom with the emotional playlist blaring out and a box of tissues to hand. People will stop being your friend if you choose to do this, though, so angst is probably best avoided.

Sam Tomkinson

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