The event issue 085 29 04 1998

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ost West End shows are merely foreign tourist fodder, but every so often something extra glitzy and extra cool rears its showbiz head. This time round it's in the shape of Saucy Jack and the Space Vixens. Think glam rock, think Rocky Horror, think disco, all with a sci-fi twist. The Space Vixens are a trio of intergalactic foxy coppers sent to catch a serial killer on Frottage Ill: the red light district of the Milky Way. The story is set in Saucy Jack' s cabaret bar - a scene of disco and bloody killing. Can the threesome save the planet through the power of disco? Why not find out for yourself.

Concrete has five pairs of tickets to see Saucy Jack and the Space Vixens. See any show between Monday and Thursday at 8pm, or Friday and Saturd matinees at 5.30pm and 4pm respectively. This offer is valid until May 31. Two tickets can be yours if you can correctly answer this easy question.

Name the musical in which you can do the time warp.

Answers, names and addresses on a postcard please, and pop them into the competition box in the Hive or deliver your entries to the Concrete office. May the force be with you.

THE EVENT, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 29, 1998

Editor-In-chief: Jane Kirby Editor: Cath erine Jones Music Editor: Paul Stokes Assistant Music Editor: James Tapsfield Design and Movies Edi tor: John Spacey A ssistant Movi es Editor: Diana Goodman TV&Rad l o Edito r: Amy Pierce lnter@ctlve Editor: Stuart Dredge Arts Editor: James Graham Copy Edi tor: James Goffin Advertising M a nager: Amy Kingswell Contributing Writers: Lee McNicoll, Gareth Llewellyn, Niell Johnstone, James Brown, Kelly Moran, imogen Rose- Smith, Emma Newbery, Kay Spragg, Lara Fitzgerald, Max Dunbar, Jack Hanaeur,Chris O'Neil , Chris Hodgen, Luke Turner, Sieve Cullingworth, Eleanor Sheath, Karen Rigden, Rupert Godwin, Tom Harberd, Emiiy Hunka, Sian Moles

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Fancy tasting a mixture of rock guitars and drum 'n' basst Lee McNicoll

met Addict, a band who are hooked on just that

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n the three years Addict have been together they have achieved a power and maturity that other bands can only dream of during those uncomfortable nights on a cramped tour bus.

They've provided support on sell-out tours with Radish and Headswim, and recently completed their own eo-headlining tour with Carrie.

Yet with their corrosive stage show of thrashing guitars and soaring vocals and the imminent release of their debut album, Stones, Addict look like they're making fast progress towards a luxury, double decker tour bus of their own.

Considering they have fou[ interviews to complete in the 20 minutes before sound check at the Arts Centre the band are surprisingly relaxed, admitting that the tour got off to a slower start than they would have liked: "Ifs getting better though. The first few dates saw small crowds but at least they were all really into it."

Here lies Addict's main problem: their apparent inability to court the British media, as drummer Luke Sullen explains: "We're touring Europe in an attempt to grasp international recognition. We get front covers in France and a lot of air-play in the States, but it's difficult here. Hopefully it'll pick-up after the album's released."

Stones combines melodic rock with intense

vocals, yet it doesn't do justice to their beautifully brutal live performance.

The band have been compared to the likes of Soundgarden, Bush and Led Zeppelin, but grow angry at the idea of comparisons.

So how would they describe themselves?

Singer Mark Aston: "Watered down drum 'n' bass is how I'd like to describe it, but it's not really like that."

With a vocalist who describes the antithesis of their sound and tells the audience to "calm down" when they start moving at gigs, it seems that Addict don't help themselves when it comes to public relations.

Musically this band are superlative, and it will be a shame if more people fail to experience them at their best: let loose on an live audience with spikes of strobe lighting and batterings of incisive chords.

The band admit that this is when they're "in their element."

Despite songs about the self-destruction of the

human psyche and suicide, Addict's sound is surprisingly uplifting.

"Red Bird is about suicide, not that I've ever thought about killing myself, but I just imagine what it would be like. I get my motivation from life," explains Aston.

For the moment Addict's life is touring.

With appearances booked at some of this summer's major festivals, Addict are positioning themselves nicely to get another crack at the masses. They're coming to a field near you prepare to be hooked.

WiniWiniWinl

lfd you like to hear more why not try and win . an exclusive promo copy of Addict's album Stones? Just tell us what you'-re addicted to funniest answer wins. Post your entries in the competition box by Monday, May 11.

THE EVENT, WEDNESDAY APRIL 29, 1 98 •

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CARRIE ON FREAKING Taking their name from the infamous teenage killer, Carrie's Dennis Dicker and Bruce Pawsey spoke with Paul Stokes to explain just how crazy their singer is ...

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ock music, is often associated with sweaty men . After all, it's hard work to knock out all those power cords and killer riffs , and even the best of them aren't ashamed to work up a bit of perspiration. For Carrie, who, despite their clean shaven and well turned out appearance, like their music on the heavy side, sweat is of no less importance.

Carrie have had to sweat for their success, literally.

Just over a year ago when Carrie formed, the only place they could afford for practises was the tiny engine room of the lift in drummer Bruce Pawsey's apartment building .ln this crammed , mechanical environment it's fair to say that a fair bit of sweating was done. Fortunately for them the lift sh aft was only a tem porary affair. Despite refusing to play gigs until they gained a record deal , Carrie managed to seam money out of smaller record companies to make demos by being, in their own words, "C**ts".

Then they used these demos to start a bidding war between the bigger labels , which eventually resulted in their deal with Island records (home of U2 and Pulp amongst others) and freed them from the tyranny of lift shafts forever. From these humble, if slightly shifty, beginnings, the band have risen to hit -the mainstream with their second single, Molly, which got a good deal of airplay on daytime radio . Good luck to them , you might think, but Molly is in fact a song about now how can I put this tastefully? - being taken from behind by a girl wearing a strap-on dildo.

Whatever makes you happy, gents! So who did the research on the subject then? "it's Steve [the singer and lyricist] drawing on real life experience," admits Bruce. "Yeah, he wouldn 't

say who," adds bassist Dennis Dicker, "at first he didn't admit that it was a real thing, but now he's started saying it in interviews, so it's all right to say it: Yes, he takes it up the arse!" Oh , well, that makes it all right then. Sounds like a bit of a character this Steve. Has he had any other worrying experiences? "Yeah, he stopped for a piss up this mountain road in Costa Rica, and was held up at gun point and had everything stolen ," reveals Dennis. There's more: "I don't know if you've seen Carrie the film ," Bruce asks "but Steve definitely relates to her character and the way she was treated. " "And ," Dennis chips in, "he does, like her, wear a lot of girls clothes. Sieve's got lots of snakes at home, so he's got loads of snake bite kits, which are basically used to suck blood out. Sometimes he sucks a load of blood out of his arm and then tips it all over these white dresses that he wears.

He only does that sometimes though , he's got to

lt's all right to say it: Yes, he takes it up the arse be in the right mood!" The right mood? Hmm .

Sounds like you've got the next Richie Manic fronting your band chaps. "He'd never go that far, I don't think," says Dennis, "Although sometimes I wish he would," he adds jokingly. Well , if all the sweat, blood and dildos haven't put you off, you can catch Carrie at some of this summer's festivals , and their debut album Fear of Sound skydives onto the unsuspecting masses in September.

Disturbing.

DOWN THE J:OCXI: With a spring in our step and a tuneful whistle, we take a look at what's going down musically in .the area th the summer's festivals fast Hershe approaching, things are hotting up in

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the locality as far as music is concerned as bands, acts and DJs all try and get some warm up dates in. Here's what's going down this month .

The next trip to the local is in issue 87, so you 've got until Monday, May 18 to tells us about all your gigs and club nights and with the end of term fast approaching we hope it's going be fantastic!

Either give us a call on 250558 or pop up to the Concrete office and let us know what you 've got going on.

Another UEA act currently making a name for themselves are indie band Hershe. Live dates in and around Norwich over the past few months have included an appearance with rising stars The Dawn of the Replicants. The band, who've been in the studio, will be supporting the Peccadilloes on Monday, May 9 at Fat Pauly's. Fat Pauly's will be the temporary venue for the popular Wilde Club while the Arts Centre undergoes refurbishment, so look out for a whole host of bands there in the coming weeks.

A J Sound System

Come Flying

Acid jazz and deep funk grooves, blended to perfection, arrive in Norwich with a fortnightly club night in Hectors House's basement. The A J Sound System is in residence on Wednesday, May 6 and Wednesday, May 20, from 8pm to.

11 pm and costs £1.50 to the door.

After a storming success at the Arts Centre Cafe, Norwich's very own polyrhythmic warriors are taking up residency at the Murderer's during May. Playing as the house band in the Two Hour Gallery slot fortnightly on Wednesdays, singer lra . promises old favourites and a few surprises for this series of gigs. Catch them on Wednesday, May 6 and Wednesday, May 20.

Noisebox The Norwich-based label have been busy recently, putting out their third split T . This time local outfits Fleece (60s tinged guitar pop), Emulsion (atmospheric guitar grooves), Kaito (jagged new-wave Britpop) and Moggy (acoustic ·sherbet lemons, apparently), are featured. The record has been out since March and has been warmly received by Norwich's listening public.

Most of the outfits featured are planning live escapes in the coming months so look out for • some top music talent near you.

THE EVENT, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 29, 1998

Live Finally the 'Local would like to acknowledge all those UEA bands who've been stepping out recently. Mad Dog played with Moke at the term 's first Live in the Hive, and a whole host of bands took to the stage with the Performing Arts Soc. (look out for a review next issue) Nice one! Until next month, see Compiled by Klaus Estop ya....

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LAIGUAGBSPBGIAL • The Belgians scupper accusations of linguistic favouritism by alternating each year between French and Flemish songs.

• This has not been so clear cut in Malta. On the two occasions they sang in Maltese rather than English, they came last.

• The largest linguistic headache is the Swiss' responsibility, with national finals held in French, German, Italian, and sometimes Romansch.

As the nations of Europe knuckle down to some hard singing, Neill }ohnstone takes, ooh ah, just a little bit of a look at the competition

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n the 1950s, when television services were the mark. However, with hindsight, it's apparent comparable only to Computer Uber-Fuhrer Bill beginning to emerge across Europe, the that nothing was going to stand up against the Gates. Truly Eurovision has a dark side. bright sparks at the top had an idea. After This year focus will be on Dana International, the Euro-might of ABBA. Fame, it was to become doing their sums, they realised that by apparent, does not guarantee success in the six-foot stunner carrying the flag for Israel. No stranger to public attention, Miss International has pooling their resources and making contest. If it had, we might have succeeded with programmes for a pan-European audience a Michael Ball or Sonia. been banned in Egypt and Jordan, and faces a substantial reduction in overheads could be warrant for her arrest in Israel. She has also been Instead, the pattern of the 90s has been Britain's repeated narrow defeat at the hands of seemingly accused of being Satan's envoy. This is more than achieved. With cable TV still a pipe dream, satellite TV pre-Sputnik science fiction , and omnipotent Irish song force Johnny Logan, who likely a result of revelations that she used to lead videotape still in nappies, this was no mean feat. her life as a man called Yoran, which came as has already written two winning songs.

In order to join their countries, the nations of the Although last year Ireland only managed second something of an affront to her more orthodox place, conspiracy theorists would have it that the compatriots. Denying the whole thing is a publicity European Broadcasting Union physically stunt, Dana claims that her song, Diva, is the best Irish made a conscious effort not to win so they connected themselves together through a network Eurovision song for ten years. Some boast. By of land lines. Thus Eurovision was born. Joint didn't have the expense of hosting this year's competition. This year, however, the country is productions of plays, documentaries and sports making such a claim Miss International is placing herself above multi-lingual gibberish like Boom programmes followed, leading to the creation of a taking a more philosophical approach, with, Is programme to elect Europe's best new popular Bang a Bang, Ding a dong, Boom Boom Always Over Now? and if it means no more song.

Boomerang, and the Swedish The first Eurovision Song ~~-~~~~~~~---------------------------...._ masterpiece Diggi-Loo, DiggiLey. Certainly it is time for a Contest was held in change, considering that Switzerland in 1956, but by since the Dion watershed, today's standards, it was the zeitgeist has apparently rather a sedate affair. been mush, particularly the Irish Fewer nations were involved, Nul Points: Some of the past little gems variety. Indeed, Katrina and the Waves drew with Britain not even bothering to participate, attention to this by publicly rubbishing their song and each entrant performed two songs to better fill Riverdance in the interval, millions are hoping it Is. the time. The judges, meanwhile, allocated the Over the years, Eurovision has presented the as, "the sort of schmaltz the judges always love," and were proved right when they scored the points in private, purging the evening of the world with increasingly unlikely stars. excitement that modem viewers take for granted.

ABBA, who started as a couples band and ended highest mark in the entire history of the as a group of divorcees, have beccme pop's competition. ome the 1960s, however, the UK started eternally re-resurrected Freddy Krueger, returning to take these vocal Olympics more every few years with another repackaged s well as the music, the scoring also seriously. nightmare vision of Greatest Hits. But what 1974 provides a source of much needed With heavyweights such as Matt Monro throwing brought to boppy pop pap, 1988 brought to entertainment. For some, the thrill comes saccharine, with Celine Dion taking the honours from the obscure bets they may have made, for down our gauntlet, it was only a matter of time others it forms part of their drinking games, and before Eurovision was coming home. After four for Switzerland before jetting home to Canada. silver medals, a barefoot Sandie Shaw finally did Since then, like a plague of biblical proportions, for the keen observer there's the socio-political factor. Despite representing the universal harmony the business with the annoyingly catchy Puppet on she has infected the CD players of the middleof the pop world, the competition also exposes the a String, and a joyous nation wept to see the aged all over the world, with expansionist power Eurovision title glistening next to the previous year's World Cup. UK pop-monster Cliff Richard went on to pull a fine seccnd in 1968, and Lulu took victory (albeit joint) in 1969. Sadly, though big at the time, Cliff is now best remembered for never pulling it off, and even when he returned to the scene in 1973 his effort only came third.

Further disappointments came: first Olivia NewtonJohn's entry and then The Shadows' failed to hit

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101\IJJ SPIIJIIL • Norway has the competition's worst record, having finished last eight times, four times with nul points. Their paltry two victories pales In comparison with the 17 times they have finished in the bottom five.

• Despite lacking a history of success, the Norwegians take the event very seriously. Ase Kleveland. after scoring three points In 1966, subsequently found herself appointed Minister of Culture, later returning to present the competition too.

• The Norwegians have also approached the competition from a variety of angles in their attempts to get it right. Their 1980 entry was a touching ballad concern1ng a scheme to build a hydro-electric power plant on moose pasture.

• Odd Borre stuck h1s neck out in 1968 by giving a free-form jazz performance. He was described as a gangling bespectacled figure, pacing the Albert Hall, repeatedly consulting his watch, delivering staccato lyrics such as Yen yen yen yen ... Ma ma ma ma ... Bra bra bra bra. Two years later he was working in insurance.

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IATIOIAL SOIG GBOICBFAm • Every member nation of the EBU, is entitled to enter a song. although Libya, Algeria and Vatican City normally waive this privilege.

• The manner in Which they pick their national song. however. is entirely up to them.

• Normally, in the spirit of democracy, the selection is made through consultation with the general public.

• Once done by postal ballot, this is now often done via telephone poll, although over the years some nations have tried other methods.

• In the 1975 Dutch national final, members of the audience selected their entry by dropping tulips in a bucket.

• The Belgians added further suspense to their 1983 national final, by not allocating the 'douze points' until the rest of the scores had been totalled. The people's choice failed to win: the audience rioted.

• One thousand young revellers in a Turkish night-club decided Turkey's tune in 1993. They missed the number one spot by a mere 20 places. undercurrents of nationalism still apparent in today's Europe. Greece and Cyprus are famous for giving each other maximum points, but they unfailingly refuse to give any to Turkey.

Perhaps most controversial of all was the manner in which the Swedish ambassador to Norway was forced to apologise for his country's bitterness at having lost to their neighbours in 1995.

Apparently great offence was caused when one Swedish newspaper, unable to hide its jealousy, asked, "Is this the way seal clubbers should be rewarded?"

Many have sneered at the continued existence of Eurovision, particularly when Swedish newspapers take things too seriously.

However, when all Is said and done, it's a special occasion like Christmas, coming but once a year and providing opportunities for celebration and mutual love. Well, sort of. Come on, it's just a bit of fun and only a grumpy old walrus could give the contest nul points.

cra•aaar1ns

• Untll1970, no one knew how to settle a tie.

The problem was only realised the year before, when four clfferent countries shared the title.

• The legendary Glna G has been the UK's best Eurovlslon performer In the US, with a number 12 smash. Cliff, on the other hand, reached a ble 99 with Congratulations.

• On British shores, our greatest home-grown success was Brotherhood of Man in 1976. Not only did they scoop the prize, but they stayed at number one for six whole weeks.

• In 1962, Fud Leclerc, representing Belgium for the fourth time, became the first artist to score nul points.

• The current scoring system was introduced in 1975, with the intention of putting the shame and humiliation of nul points beyond the reach of even the most grotesque performer. lt has since been achieved 12 times (three by Norway).

• The Germans, renowned for their machine-like work-rate, have the longest unbroken participation record, from 1956-1995, at which point they were relegated for providing Europe with the worst song of the year. They scored one point.

• The Germans then pushed for a pre-selection play-oils procedure for the 1996 event, to give them one last chance of participating. They still failed to qualify.

THE EVENT, WED ESDAY, APRIL 29, 1998

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KOMEDA What Makes lt Got

••• A nd that's the way it is.

S A E The Shame Collection oss Drum? Move Any Mountain?

Ebeneezer Goode? No doubt these songs bri ng memories of ch ildhood flooding back. Whether you liked them or not, such was th eir genre crossing pop-tastic appeal that The Shamen provided the sounqtrack to many a youth-defining moment.

All the 'classics' are present and correct: LSI, Phorever People and Commg on Strong as well as those already mentioned, bul there are a le less familiar tunes here as well and these verge off 1nto dodgy territory at times, Re-Evolution being a particular howler.

For the most part however it's good cheesy tongue-in-cheek stuff, that provides the perfect soundtrack fo r preparing tor a night out on the tiles. In light of dance music's progression over the last couple of years The Shamen sound som ewhat dated. and as a result th is album seems almo retro.

But th1s isn't necessarily a bad thing : the record captures the energy and sense of humour with \\hlcr you celebrate your youth. Whrn I as 14 I t'1ought could move any mountain. Kelly Moran

MO MARK Push the Button

Money Mark's second solo • LP. Having spent years tinkling the ivories for the Beasti es, he's now a respected recording artiste 1n his own right , signed to the ultra ·cred Mo-Wax label. As you'd expect, keyboards play a prominen role, particularly when Mark locks ·nto a good ole Hammond groove Rece nt hit Hand In Your Head makes an appearance , as does the newie Maybe I'm Dead, which resembles nothing more than a pathetic C arlatans B-side . Yes sadly his album fails to live up io its infin1tely cool promise . If you're planning to hold any swanky dinner parties, th1s migh t be just the thing to tootle away in the background as you nosh your vol-auvents Then again , if you're lookmg tor revis1on music. Money Mark wo n't give you any distractions as you grapple with the work you should've done weeks go. Apart fro m that. we'll just have to carry on waiting tor 'he "lew Seas• es album , which is rumoured to be firlshed at last Th1s alburrl wont help m• Jch Mo 1"10 ey n1u problems? Puff Daddy s not wrong Stuart Dredge

HE BLUETONES, LCR Sunday, March I S he evening got off to a good start with the first support band wno shall rema1n nameless as they 'orgo• ·J tell us who they were. Suffice to say they were somewhere between R diohead ard the Verve and the crowd loved 1t Move·, t"le second act. we re a bit more keen to please, and by the time they left the LCR was virtually lavering with anticipation to r the ma1n dish of the evenmg As a gig virgin . I have to admit i was my first time with h1 ba11d.

However, 1t did seem a bit strange that the Bluetones took so long to get on stage. And when they did eventually appear it felt as it they were almost detached from the music th ey were playing .

Don't get me wrong, I know they were playing it, and despite the tact that most of it was new to me it was great stuff The band struggled valiantly through sound difficu lties that threatened to force the whole proceedings to a halt to produce excellent ve rsions of Cut Some Rug and Bluetonic.

Slight Return, however, was conspicuously absent.

All 1n all, although the exuberant crowd filled up the dance floor and mashed like the1r lives depended on it, the whole conce rt JUSt James Brown felt a little too pedestrian .

unsurprising that their album sounds frighteningly like a dodgy 60s film score . Picture a lounge lizard in dusty velvet suit surrounded by lava lamps and kitsch wallpaper patterns, then imagine the soundtrack that this would inspire and you 've got Komeda. it's difficult to know if the Swedish Komeda take themselves seriously or not, but by the t1me you've sat th rough thei r record this becomes a point of moot irrelevance. You can't.

On a lighter note though , you could never be depressed listening to the likes of it's Alnght Baby, wh1ch tnggers nostalgic pangs to r Sesame Street's incidental music, but that's not exactly a selling point. lt is evident the band draw influence from soundtracks, as each track tries to create waves of moods and emotions through a vast array of instruments, but th1s tails to entertain Experimenting with bongos . trumpets and industrial strength synthesisers. Komeda try so hard to be modern they complete the cycle and dive back into a retro past The gentle lead vocals, distorted backing vocals, and vague attempts at pseudo-jazz intervals makes What Makes lt Go? sound very kitsch. Komeda may put you in a silly mood tor a bit, but after repeated exposure you'll find yourself asking not What Makes lt Go ?, but What Makes lt Go Stop?!!!

Lee McNico/1

Proving once and for all that they are queens of soul, funk. and just about everything else, the All Saints follow up their smash hit Never Ever with a cover of the Red Hot Chilli Peppers' classic.

The difference between this band and other girt outfits is that they've got talent, and it simply oozes. Funky bass and soulful grooves make this almost a cert for the top spot. Emma Newbery

She's go a damn fine pair of lungs, has Aretha, and they're still going strong after all this time.

She teams up with Lauryn Hill of the Fugees. and although it's not the most inspiring of tunes, it still deserves the utmost, ahem r-e-s-p-e-c-1.

Nice one soul granny!

Stuart Dredge

MASS VE ~ T. CK e rDrop

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To celebrate the re lease of Go1"1eZ s new albU"ll 78 Stone Wobble. we're giving away a few of their posters. which all feature a nifty b1t of modern art. To get your hands on one simply come up to the Concrete office and say "I'd like a Gomez poster please."

Tear Drop begms With SIOIN laCOIIIC beats. joining with a haunting melody that rises up, twisting its way intc your consciousness. hinting that this should be the momert when th e fathers of trip hop rC'claim thei r'ghtful crown, usurp God, and establish world peace, etc, etc.

Exc pt that it doe~n't happen. The vocalist is not another Tricky or Shara elson and her voice Irritatingly masks the delicate tune. Tear Drop is a sharp reminder that even Massive ttack are only mortal. lmogen Rose-Smith

lo y Child Psychology is pleasant complement to teenage angst . lt is a pleasantly agreeable piece of non-dancing melancholia. Yet, whilst it is as pleasantly soft as teddy bear stuffing, and as mildly disconcerting as the image of the disembowelled toy, it's still too restrained to fully deliver on its pleasant promise. Nell/ Johnstone

You know the sort of tune that is surprisingly catchy, despite the fact that it's a bit monotonous. Well , this single is one of those it's mean 10 be about our fascination w1th bad things, but sounds 'Tlore like a few interes ing lyrics that happen to go together ~ afraid.

808 S :AT Cubik

At THE EVENT, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 29, 1998

This taster for the forthcoming Best of 808 State leaves you rather disappointed The opening Cubik 98 remixes fall flat, despite reworking by Monkey Mafia. The CD is redeemed by 1989's Pacific and its remix is skilfully crafted to highlight 808 State's trademark ambiance. One for fans, not the casual listener.

Luke Turner

Deep Impact Opens May 15 President Morgan Freeman discovers that Earth is going to be hit by a comet. Robert Duval heads up the team of astronauts tasked to blow the thing up.

US Marshals Now Showing The Fugitive sequel places the emphasis on Tommy Lee Jones' law enforcer because Harrison Ford didn't want to take part.

Wesley Snipes takes his place as the man on the run. lidmg Doors proposes the 1dea of ordinary London working girl Helen, who, depending on whether she catches or misses the tube home, opens parallel worlds where she lives two radically different lives.

The Helen-who-did-catch-the-train walks in on her boyfriend cheatmg on her and summarily dumps him, gets a lab new haircut, starts her own business and falls for the wily charms of mummy's boy Gerry.

Meanwhile the deeply sympathetic Helen-who-didn't-catch-the-train keeps her long brown locks and ends up waitressing in a pretentious restaurant by night and delivering sandwiches to high flying businesswomen by day. Spot the difference, can you ?

The performances are engaging and the characters realistic, so that despite the plot sounding slightly far fetched , you do actually care how it Scream 2 Opens Friday Neve Campbell and Courteney Cox return as those who survived the first film go to college, but somebody's running around in a black cloak and white mask again.

Primary Colors Now Showing Jack Travolta stars as a southern governor running for President in a thinly veiled account of Bill Clinton's 1992 election campaign. Billy Bob Thornton provides support.

The Big Lebowski Now Showing The Coen brothers follow up Fargo with a tale of bowling starring Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, Sieve Buscemi and John Turturro. Also featuring a severed toe.

Breakdown Opens Friday Kurt Russell breaks, urn, down, in the American south-west and comes across bonkers redneck trucker, JT Walsh, who disappears down the road with his wife.

all pans out. Will blondte Helen go back to James? Will her brunette self ever meet Gerry? lt may all sound like a rec1pe for contusion, but director Peter Howitt (formerly Joey in TV sitcom Bread) stages the action well enough to ensure that you know which Helen it is you're actually watching at the time (and if you do get confused, just check out which hairstyle she's sporting to get back on track).

Paltrow proves she's a whiz with the Brit accent (even if she does sound a bit on the posh Sloaney side at first) and radtates chansma. In fact, the only unbelievable thing about this film is the idea that John Lynch could have both Gwyneth Paltrow and Jeanne Tripplehorn chasing after his greasy hide. Sliding Doors 1s a fresh and 1nnovative comedy, providing enough laughs and interest to have any audience member leaving the cinema feeling entertained.

Chris O'Nef/1

Jaclde Brown us (1998) ·Dir.Quentln Tarantlno ABC • now showing

uentin Tarantino's eagerly awaited return to the director's chair, hailed as a comeback after a few dodgy acting performances, does not quite live up to the (sadly expected) hype.

Stewardess Jackie Brown (Pam Grier) smuggles money in from Mexico for gun dealer Ordell Robbie (Samuel L Jackson). Arrested on the way back to LA in possession of several thousand pounds and a small quantity of cocaine, she is faced with the dilemma of either grassing up the dangerous gangster or serving a stretch in prison.

The film goes on to reveal the elaborate plan Jackie hatches to double cross both the police and the murderous Ordell.

The final confrontation is viewed from a number of different perspectives, proving that Tarantlno does still have it in him to direct well, and that he can't totally resist the non-linear structures of Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs. One scene to look out for is the car park confrontation between Lewis (Robert De Niro) and Melanie (Bridge! Fonda), but this is one of the few moments that Tarantino uses De Niro to full effect.

The film has a lot of potential, the ideas are there but a lack of originality with the plot and action scenes leaves the audience disappointed. Littered with big name stars like Samuel L Jackson, Robert De Niro, Pam Grier, Bridget Fonda and Michael Keaton it provides a few laughs but never really gets going.

At two and a half hours long it drags in the middle, taking its geriatric undertones ridiculously, and never makes the most of the funky 70s backdrop.

Unless you are a diehard Tarantino fan, Jackie Brown becomes just another movie full of guns, drugs and over the top swearing that remains in the shadow of it's predecessors.

Nick Triggle A disappointment

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Humbl Beginnings Born in 196310 Knoxville, Tennessee to a 16year old student and 21-yea -old asptnng actor he was flamed after Burt Reynold's eh racier ar Gunsmoke When aged two he moved w1th h1s mother to Los Angeles where he started frequenting the cinema fi'Om a very early age he saw Carnal Knowledge at etght, and Deltverance at nine.

Making a Start Aged 22. he got a JOb in Video Archaves, a v1deo store In Manhattan Beach where he spent his days watching and discussing films With future co-wnter of Pulp Fiction, Roger Avary. In 1986, he made his first (unfamshed) film, My Best Fnend's Birthday and he followed this up w1th the script for True Romance a year later. In 1988 he wrote his second script, Natural Bom Killers, but his f1rst taste of success was 1n 1990 when he sold True Romance for $50,000

Making His Name H1s big break came soon after when Harvey Keitel came across Tarant1no's own 16mm black and whtle vers1on of h1s tl'lfd scnpt, Reservoir Dogs. He was sufftc1enUy Impressed to agree to fund and act In the ftlm, the fina. vers1on of whtch was well recetved when lt reached the Clnemagoang public m 1992 Success!

He reany.htl the b1g t1me 1n 1994, when am1dst mass1ve hype and cnt cal accla1m Pulp F1ct1on was rfeleased The ft grossed over £1 00 m1llton worldwide and ptcke,d up an Oscar for Best Original Screenplay As a result of Pulp F1ct10n's success, Tarantino became a major player in Hollywood.

Rumours His credits also tnclude involvement in the films Killing Zoe, From Dusk t il Dawn, The Rock and Get Shorty, and he ts currently rumoured to be in hne to direct the next James Bond ftlm, as well as an adaptataon of Macbeth.

Jackie Brown IS currently enJoying massive success around the world and looks set to enhance his posation as one of the hottest properties r J Jack Hanauer

THE EVENT, WED ESDAY, APRIL 29, 1998

Twenty Four Seven UK (1998) Dir: Shan e Meadows

Small Time/ Whe re's the Money Ronnie UK( I998) D ir : Shane M eadows Vid eo - out to b uy

ig Arty Productions have put together two supposedly funny, and consciously pretentious pieces of 'art' by Shan e Meadows, perhaps better known for the recent

T

he Titamc saga rolls on. As the movie crosses the billi on dollar mark, James Cameron's incessant bleating about how the film is historically accurate came unstuck as residents of the Scottish town of Dalbeattie objected to Cameron's unfounded portrayal of F1rst Officer William 'VIurdoch , on€' of the town's most loved sons.

Rather than thE" unstable coward who commits su1c1de 1n the recent blockbuster, residents claim that Murdoch was a perfect gentleman who was responsible for saving the lives of many peo le. 20th Century Fox, whose eventual profits from the film are estimated to be around the $300 mil lion mark . have donated £500 to the local school, who for decades have awarded an annual pnze in the seaman's name Leonardo DiCaprio has h1s own problems as well su ing Playgirl for nude pies (he was young, he needed the money) taken a few years ago, he·s being sued for $10 million fo r trying to block the release of a low budget fil m starring himself and some of his mates.

As if th at wasn't enough , he's become the v1ctim of an outing campaign , and was recently spotted with the legend "HI FAGGOT" on the back of his brand new Land Rover.

While the rest of!,e fil m world had its eyes on a little ceremony known as Th e Academy Awards recently, The Event was more interested in the Golden Raspberry Foundation who handed out lheir tatuettes he previous night. While the Academy

TwentyFourSeven. Where 's the Money Ronnie is a simple narrative about a fight. The ten minute. black and white screen play interviews each of the people involved in a mock Panorama style. In between their monologues you can watch them beating each other up in Charlie Chaplin fashion ; played at double speed with chirpy music in the background; a good idea, but it didn't work - as it wasn't slapstick enough to be funny, nor gritty enough to be real. Small Time tnes to make fun of pi thy Trainspottmg imitations but unfortunately, it fails abysmally - it attempts to take the mick out of the people who live in a town called Smendon,

(allegedly) awards art1stic achievement, the Raspberries celebrate mediocrity. Poor old Kevin Costner took the triple whammy of Worst Film. Worst Director and Worst Actor, all for The Postman. This love letter to himself m the form of three hours of post-apocalyptic mail delivery was JUdged WORSE than such luminaries as Batman and Robin and Anaconda .. Never mind Kev - after The Untouchables and Dances w1th Wolves. we'll always love you .

THE EV NT, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 29, 1998

with a bunch of brainless 30 something year old mates who decide to rob the local yoga centre.

Smendon , apparently, is a place where all it matters is whether or not you've got a tenner, not how you got it - wh ich is supposed to justify the ludicrous smaller seams such as nicking a trolley of dog food, and spending a famil y day ou t stealing things from a car boot sale. The characters are two-dimensional, and the portrayal of"lhem is stereotyped and unconvincing. Though there are attempts at it, there wasn't enough (or any) black comedy to hold the film together. If th1s was supposed to be comedy it failed dramatically, and if not then it was just plain condescending, Emma Newbery unconvincing and pathetic.

hristian Slater has had a few run-ins with the law. so its a bit 1ron1c to see him get through a film as a holier· than-thou security guard who JUSt won't ru n off with the money.

Security guard Slater and h1s companion are collecting from the lo al banks, but disaster is about to strike a it looks the town dam is about to break. The pair try to get out of town, but the1r van gets stuck in the ns1ng floodwater. Thieves hiJack the van, only to realise Slater has escaped w1th the money to hide 1t (he's just so honestl) and the baddies, led by Morgan Freeman , start searching the town for the three million dollars.

If you thought that all that north Atlantic water 1n the closing scenes of Titamc looked really cold, you'll b amazed to know that Hard Rain ou tdoes it. Virtually every scene sees the actors stan ding, floating or rowing in several feet of water while torrent1al ram pours

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s we all kn ow. British films have experienced a great ~-w:.a.dea l of success recently. lt seems strange then that Shane Meadows' film, Twenty Four Seven, has had a relatively quiet release This seems to not have done the film justice, as I was indeed very impressed by Meadows' full length film debut.

Set in a Nottingham council estate, Bob Hoskins stars as the good samaritan Darcy. determined to take roaming local youths off the streets. His answer lies in a boxing club, where he aims to divert violence off the streets and into the ring . The club proves a success as junkies and street kids begin taking an interest, and, soon enough, it is announced that they are to fight a rival clu b, Meadows . gives us some hilarious scenes as Hoskins' newly founded club travel to the Welsh hills to trai n for the big contest. Rocky it is not, yet, but where Stallone had Eye of the Tiger, Meadows' substitute, The Charlatans' North Country Boy, still raises a few hairs on the back of the neck . Wh at makes this film so enjoyable is that not only is it full of wit and humour, but it also has some very powerful moments and some very to uching characters.

The black and wh ite works superbly well in portraying the bleak, depressed estate, as does the stylish camerawork.

What is incredible most of all, however, is that the vast majority of the cast are amateur actors. Their professionalism, along with the humour. the realism and the imagery is clearly down to the ta lents of Shane Meadows - a name I'm sure we'll be hearing more of m the future. lt just seems crazy that with stuff like this around, why are some punters are still piling into the cinema to see that darn sinking ship?

Max Dunbar

own.

As the bandits roam around m their purlomed motor boats. you would think town sheriff Randy Quaid would help Slater to protect the money but no, Quaid's about to leave his job, and wants the money for himself. As the bullets start flying , Slater and Freeman are forced to band together to protect themselves - thank God they do, because who 'd ever believe Morgan Freeman could play a really bad guy?

Striking a rather peculiar note IS M1nnie Driver, whose accent wobbles from New Yo rk to Nuneaton and back again She really do sn't convince as a Yank, and the fact the scnptwriters have given her a medieval church to look after merely highl ights that she's a little out of place.

However, to complam about the cast misses the point. Hard Rain is an unashamed action movi e not th e best of its genre by any means, but certainly worth your money Jolln Spacey

dThe

es: w countries ivtded by a common language. alifornia girl know, except for having to defend my love of peanut butter and jam s<lndwiches, I'd like to think I've been fairly quiet about the differences between Britain and America. Some people might beg to differ, but only because I hate Marmite so much. Anyway, as we pass into month seven of my year abroad in your beautiful country it's time for the charade to end. I don't think the British like Americans, or vice versa.

Despite friendly little ties (namely speaking close to the same language), nervousness and mistrust' pervade. Britain and the rest of the world are annoyed with American media imperialism, America hates feeling stupid and. uncouth compared to England - hence the Oscar backlash against the four British best actress nominees.

Americans harbour secret thoughts that the British are snobs for that extra u in colour and neighbour, Britain secretly thinks Americans are a nation of obese women screaming, the kind of nation that can routinely fill the audience of the Ricki Lake show. Meanwhile, our entertainment industries are busy depicting every stereotype known to man.

Why you guys didn't invade Texas in retribution for Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, I'll never know. Don't you get it? lt's the timeUsual Suspects). Sometimes actors get really from The Lion King), Gary Otdman, the reigning honoured joke that British people have bad teeth sneaky and put on American accents, which can king of silly, undemanding roles, in The Fifth and funny hairdos. realty get on our nerves, because American Element, Air Force One, etc. Personally, I think accents seem alarmingly easy for Kenneth this goes back to all those 50s biblical epics, No, we don't really think that. But it's funny !ill the where the masses were played by same.

American film is rife with ~--------------------::.~----IIIICIIIIK:I-Z.IIIIIIo.. American actors and, to differentiate, the Romans were stupid stereotypes of, played· by Brits with posh RSC well, everyone, but we accents. seem to be singling out Brits these days. At our most inoffensive, we steal he next category of characterisations is the one of your actors because they're tasty one that stings the worst, I think. looking, plop 'em down in a movie, and ignore the Branagh and Emma Thompson (Dead Again), Bob Americans playing Brits. I accent, like Hugh Grant in Nine Months or Pierce Hoskins (Who Framed Roger Rabbi~. Ratph hereby apologise profusely on Fiennes (Quiz ShoW), and now Kate Winslet "Aren't I Smashing'' Brosnan in The Mirror Has behalf of the citizens of the (Titanic).

Two Faces. Okay, so Brosnan was born in United States. We can't Ireland, but unless you have a thicker than When we're being only moderately inoffensive, an do accents. If the United American film will feature a British actor as an Guinness accent (Gabriel Byrne on a chat show), "incredibly English person". These break into Nations wanted to do Americans don't know better (Gabriel Byrne in The several groups, according to stereotype; but by far some swift and just world-improving, it would the favourite is "really, really stuffy": Peter Sellers as Group Capt. Mandrake in Dr Strangelove, a forever ban Americans from doing accents man whose response to impending nuclear except Irish ones. For Armageddon is a pensive "Oh hell", Tim Curry as Wadsworth, the butler in Clue, who moves the some reason, we get growing pile of corpses out of the kitchen, "to keep those right - see Brad it tidy". l,lsually, though, the "incredibly English Pitt in The Devil's Own. person• is a smaller part, appearing in only a few Also see Julia Roberts in scenes wherein they act very proper, pronounce Michael Col/ins and Mary everything beautifully, are very stoney-faced, Reilly When I think back upper-class, and sometimes very droll and witty.

J1 on the likes of Keanu Reeves and __....,~ Once upon a time, these were major roles, but then David Niven died, so the tradition is carried Win on a on in Sir John Gielgud popping up every now and again. Anthony Hopkins stands a good chance of making this type of rote his entire career, but if it means he gets to pretend Elle MacPherson is his wife like in The Edge, I suppose I understand.

When I asked my British friends about British parts in American films, they all said they were sick of the bad guy always being English, intelligent, and well-dressed, only to be vanquished by an oafish, sweaty, swearing American. This is true. We see it all the time, but I think American cinema is starting to get sneaky: they're using more and more British actors playing other Europeans. The meanies in Die Hards 1 and 3 are both highly talented Brits (Aian Rickman and Jeremy Irons, who is also the conspicuous baddie

Why you guys don't invade Texas, I'll never know

Jana G dman e nders the eel uloi evide e of

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Ryder in Bram Stoker's Dracula, it just breaks my heart. Met Gibson as Hamlet is barely an attempt at all, and Braveheart only wins points for him speaking French with a Scottish accent. I won't even bother talking about Kevin Costner. I only have a page, after all. Deriding Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins seems to be an English national pastime I was unaware of, and the bitter hatred pointed towards his faux-Cockney Chim Chlmereeing makes me want to put him in his own category, called Cor Blimey, Guv Characters (it Includes those guys in Titanic who spot the iceberg and just about anyone else in the London working class).

11 right, there, I said it. Now it's time for Americans in British films. What can I ------say? Well, frankly, I don't know why they throw in Americans as normal characters, because anything they say sounds really boring. lt's a clashing accents thing. I can't say I like Andie MacDowell in Four Weddings and a Funeral. I can't say I like her in anything tacking sex, lies, and/or videotape, but even in a "you WILL be charmed" movie like Four Weddings, everything but her hat seems like it could be replaced with equal effect. Same goes for Christopher Reeve in The Remains of the Day, though it's part of the point - he's American and he's kind of different. Here's where we get to the meat of the issue: Americans as weird outsiders.

Mr Neck, the obnoxious Hollywood producer in Cold Comfort Farm. That poor fanny-packed ( it means bum-bag, you bunch of Puritans) guy they rob at the Edinburgh Festival in Trainspotting. Kevin Kline and his litany about his hatred of all things English ("If it weren't for the good o!' US...you'd be the smallest f ..•ing province in the Russian Empire!") in A Fish Called Wanda.

Between the two of our nations, I have to wonder if anything can be done. We speak the same language (supposedly), and with the exception of the opportunity to make fun of each other's accents we can get along here without incident. Hell, things have gone splendidly despite American grammar which invents words like "gotten". Face to face, the British and the Americans get along well, but in movies we never cooperate.

I propose the two national film industries unite and purge their demons with a three hour epic about neither one of us truly trusting Canada.

Then, and only then, can we stop pestering each other.

Unless you criticises my peanut butter and jam sandwiches. Then you're in trouble.

THE EVENT, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 29, 1998

WAITING FOR THE £UIIVE

Ever wondered where those often freaky contestants for that dating game come fromt Amy Pierce chatted with a researcher for Blind Date, and m et some· of t he budding contestants •••

B

find Date has been a fixture on primetime TV for 14 years, in which time it has grown in popularity while still achieving a cult status amongst most

univer.sity.stu?~nts. Half of the fun of

TRAIN

While at the Maidshead hotel Amy Pierce · met some of the other ·people who had come to aMdltion, and asked them why they wer e there, and who their Ideal Blind Dates would be •••

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into that category. Unfortunately thoug1, we don't seem to make the best contestants. ''The worse type to be honest are students, they haven't done

holiday destinations and any special talents.

Questioning is brief but concise, it isn't enough to claim 'Oh, I'm a really spontaneous person', you have to give examples to ...- - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -..... prove it. As for the all' ' important talents,

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watchmg 1s g1v1ng our own opmtons on who the contestants should pick, or even who we would. The idea of appearing on Blind Date is enough to make some of us cringe, and others reach for the phone to call our Mums and ask what colour we look best in (and does she want Cilia's autograph as well?) So with dreams of fame, exotic holidays and meeting Mr Right, I headed to the luxurious Maidshead hotel to see if 'I'd got what it takes to be on Blind Date! · In these elegant settings I met Gemma Cooper, researcher and the day's interviewer. lt was only by impressing her that I had any chance of appearing on the show. However, th is promised to be a tall order, due to her life history being far more interesting than mine; "I've worked on other TV shows and I've worked in a French Circus as a clown and a trapeze artist". Hmmm. Still, I asked what she was looking for in the average applicant? "We look for people who have a lust for life, and an energy that comes across:' The Blind Date experience is definitely not designed for the shy or withdrawn, what with, "Cilia, all the lights and a studio audience of 600."

The interview process itself is pretty intense; first interviews are conducted over four weeks in 39 towns, with around 10,000 people being seen. From that huge field only one in 10 are selected for second interviews, and after a further set of eliminations only 200 people will ever see the Blind Date studios.

Considering Blind Datfts popularity amongst students it's not surprising that a high percentage of those auditioning fall

They aren't that interesting, be cause all they do is drink

people presented gifts as weird and wonderful ----iillll~ as having double joints Another reason why stude1ts are rubbish to making authentic animal noises. I was told though that reciting chunks of dialogue from Star Wars didn't count as being interesting anything and to all intents and purposes aren't that interesting because all they do is drink!" Charming. or original - shame. Though there were no overt In fact it seems to be a case of the older the better, signs as to who was chosen, ttie template was ''As old as they can totter through the door! lt's simple, they wanted people who were loud and great, the old wrinklies' rounds are fabJious." Some larger than life. of the show's greatest moments have been "when Perhaps one of the greatest Blind Date myths is the old people come with all their marbles and are that you have to be gorgeous to appear on the · sharp and sprightly." show. All sly comments aside, this isn't always the case. As Gemma says, "People don't have to be stunningly beautiful to get on the show. In fact what or the first interviews candidates are divided into men and women and we look for primarily are characters:' One of Blind interviewed in groups of 8 to 12. After Date's most memorable shows was when, "We had filling out a questionnaire a big black lady, Claudette. Everyone remembers covering the basics of her. The big characte.rs like that are fabulous."

Nevertheless, such contestants seem relatively few name/age etc. you're and far between. In the most recent series the asked about hobbies, bright orange haired Irishman, Bernard was one of ideal the few contestants to make a lasting impression on audiences. "He was fabulous, but he· wasn't a looker by any stretch of the imagination:• Although being photogenic is not the only requirement, it does still appear to help.

Having to select from so many candidates it seems . inevitable that you'd be trying to match people up as you go along. Gemma admitted, "lt is going through your mind, particularly with the old people as there are fewer of them." However, "A lot of people we'd like to put through those second auditions don't turn up because they've got a boyfriend or girlfriend." So is ceasing to be single really the only thing that could stand between you and national exposure?

There is much less variety amongst Blind Date contestants than could be originally thought. One group that seems to get little coverage is middleaged people, however Gemma is quick to say that that is not because of any conscious choice by the selectors, "We tend to get quite a good standard of women, but not really men in that age group."

"Unless it's going to work there's no point putting it on the TV."

Myra Sheppard, 73 "1\·e never done anything like this before, and I thought it wculp be a nice experience, · especially if I meet someone whO is compatible with me. I'd like to think something's going to come of it, but you never know. My ideal blind date would be someone who was kind, exciting lU\d likes 1he same things I do:

F

nother group that has been consistently excluded from the Blind Date studios are homosexuals, though in contrast, this is a decision made by the shows producers and the network

A

iJenny oXborough, 53 "l'tn a Chef, and I work for Jim Davidson. He's really, really nice! I'm trying out- because 11s a bit of fun and maybe would lead to a relationship. My ideal blind date would be Cliff Richard. Or someone of his standard but not as famous."

John Ferguson, 35, Window technician f rom Lowestoft "I'm trying out just for a laugh, I mfght meet someone nice, I might not. Jane Seymour would be my ideal date as she's lovely. Really beautiful and sophisticated."

Sarah Wood, 18, Accounts assistant

from Fellxstowe "I've been single for

about a year now and the rest of the people in Felixstowe and Ipswich aren't much!

So, I want someone who'll treat me with a bit of respect for a change. I'd rather be one of th$ people pict<ing beoe,use then you're guaratlteed at least a chance. George GJOoney would be my perfect blind date as he's gorgeous, and a doctor!"

heterosexual show, its about heterosexual couples:• The broadcasting time of Blind Date would also seem to contribute to this policy, "I think ·its too early in the schedule to be accepted by the whole majority."

However, even if there is truth in these observations it seems unfortunate that disability is

how damaging was that to the show? Firstly, it would seem that Blind Date wasn't unaware of the 'infiltrator ' after all, in fact they had decided to let her make it onto the show. "She had no idea that we knew. it was decided that we would wait and do it on the show to put other people off who might want ~o do that." Blind Date was quick to criticise

overall.

Though Gemma says ...- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -.......theas, deception she has no personal "She did prejudices on the matter someone the official line is else out of a slightly less place, her welcoming. "We get intention, her criticised for not doing agenda was The Event has no comment also gay and lesbian rounds, never to have a relationship with treated as a taboo subject. Blind Date seems to but other shows do it. it's someone (which is the aim of the show) it was much more a C4 type place more weight on popular opinion than any purely to bring out the dirt, and there isn't really other factors. Apparently, the show would be, of issue... We would any dirt."

"Criticised quite heavily for making it an issue. alienate a large Anyone who saw the show would have realised You'd have to make a holiday which they are both proportion of our how quickly public opinion was turned against her, audience who are able to enjoy and get around in to do things. it "I think it backfired on her more than it did on us;• elderly, and they however it wasn't only her but the male contestant, would be geared very much to disabled wheelchair wouldn't contestants which then I think would throw criticism Paul, who was humiliated on national TV. on the show again:' understand it.

Nevertheless, Blind Date undoubtedly saved a lot Though Blind Date may be happier to remain of face through so dramatically and publicly Blind Date is conventional and mainstream, it is a formula that a very exposing the Cosmopolitan spy! Any allegations has proved incredibly successful: Part of the she made as to the show's practices became lost show's appeal is undoubtedly its host Cilia Black. in all the controversy that surrounded her personal "She's absolutely marvellous, she holds an actions. Rather than revealing any skeletons, it was audience, she's great with the punters, she's great Blind Date that was left looking like the victim. . with the contestants. I think she's a whole Despite any criticisms, Blind Date looks set to institution, a real icon." continue as a regular fixture on Saturday nights.

However, even she was critic'ised in the recent and General opinion is that the show, 'Will go on for as now infamous Cosmopolitan expose. So exactly long as Cilia does." There is still some question

I think she's a whole institution, a real icon

THE EVENT, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 29, 1998

though as to how successful the show has really been in playing matchmaker. Since its start three couples who had met on Blind Date have been married, and a fourth wedding looks imminent, "Which is pretty good going and we certainly hope to get some more on this series." Still, if you work it out, there are two couples on each show, 24 shows in a series and 14 series to date - that makes 678 couples that have been set up. The problem seems simply to be that, " You can put like minded people together, with the same interests, who would seem to get on with each other, but you can't force them to fall in love..."

As for my chances of getting on Blind Date? Well I'm not sure that as a student AND a journalist I should be holding my breath....

---.....1

Lou1ae Schofteld, 23, UEA History student "I'd like to go on Blind Date because I want to show 'off! I <ton't need a man, I'm not desperate, I just want to show off in front of the nation. My ideal blind date would be Robbie Williarr>~s, becaU$e he's a bit of a nutter, a bad boy and he's got a nice bottom:

ArtdY llarriOt. 19, Phlosophy student •lt's a bit of fun, a bit of a laugh. A shag WoUld do but thafs not really the polptt would be a perfect blind date ~use $he's in the publiC~ and she ~aks. lta,.1

nt(1a _fanus , whichls:'

romantic and seX'(.'

THE EVENT, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 29, 1998

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h no, not another bad, bland Bond movie? Fear not, all those that had tired of 007, he's back. but this time he has an extra sparkle in his vodka martini. This is James Bond back on form, with a witty, well-written script that keeps you gripped to your seat with super-fast-paced traditional secret agent fun. Pierce Brosnan's previous outing as Bond, Goldeneye, marked a serious improvement over the previous f1ve or six films in the series, but that doesn't stop Tomorrow Never Dies from out-shining it.

The film centres on Jonathan Pryce as a media tycoon, a sort of Robert Maxwell risen from the grave and minus four stone, who endeavours to start WWIII between England and China to gain a new foothold in his media empire. Bond is soon on the case, and is quickly pursued by sadistic German henchmen direct from the Sadistic

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German Henchmen Employment Agency across several continents and much of the Pacific Ocean in a fantastic series of quintessential Bond chase scenes.

With Dame Judi Dench back in the oh-so-feminist role of M and the finesse of Pryce as the baddy, their combined actmg skills add to the all-round professionalism of the film. As always, the leading lady is a fundamental part of a Bond film, and this time there are two contenders but no real contest.

Teri Hatcher has potential as an ex of Bond's, but her acting and character are too much flimsy cardboard (apparently, most of Hatcher's part was cut when her pregnancy became visible during filming). In comparison, Hong Kong action star Mlchelle Yeoh as Bond's Chinese counterpart is clever, hard-core, and more than a match for 007.

So it you've given up on Bond, like M does, give him another shot, because, believe me, he's alive Lara Fltzgersld and kicking.

highlight IS the young hooligan who Dlr: John Birkln giVes his name as.

VIdeo - out to buy wrullor lt. lvor Biggunl Laugh? 1 hen Rowan almost d1d.

Alkinson and Ben Etton dec1ded to The second episode rs write a new sitcom together. the better, if only for a television executives must've been rubbing tholr three-minute cameo from Stephen Fry Sure he's hands with glee. How could a reunion of the men responsible for B/ackadder possibly fail? ·Just reprlslng his Blackadder roles with added Sadly. the only person rubbing thoir hands now smut, but 1t's good stuff all the same. That s more than can be <>aid about the surrounding will be Bernard Matthews. Yes, we'ro talking prime turkey here, like so many recent Bntish plot, wluch in11olves a camping trip that goes prodictably wrong. Best line? Personally I have sitcoms. The Thin Blue Une revolves around always felt more than comlortaole with 14 Inches three comic assumptions. One: A joke's not hanging ln:.1de my trouser leg. How about worth cracking unless you can see 11 coming f;om miles away. Two: Take as much humour as . playing 'hide the sausage'? Were the Carry On possible from camp stereotypes. And three: films not kilfed off for a reason? As a sitoom, The Thin Blue Line stinks • as a foi!ow-up to Truncheons are a bit like willie::;. Titter...

Take these two episodes. Night Shift tells the •Blackadder. it's heinous. Everyone involved tale of, wel, a ~ shift at the station. The should De aahMled.

Stuaif DNd9e COf'liC

Uf( (1998)

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lN:Prn] ohn McNaughton's low-budget :a.. cult film is da.r1<er than a bar of Bournville, scarier than a meeting with your bank manager, and more disturbing than Nightmare on Elm Street when you were six.

Seriously. Eerie and macabre. this is an insight Into the hellish existen<:e of a psychopath constantly seaR:hing for his next kiUing. He'& not fussy In the victim ~t young hitch-hiker, run-of-the-mill housewife, fat 1V man • no body's safe from Henry's brutality. The film's chilling effect ls maintained by the lack of dialogue and oerie soundtrack. lt will leave you with an icy shaking in your bonos, but you'll feel far from chilled out.

The film centres on the trian!Jular relationship between Henry, his buddy Otis, and Otis' sister Becky, where sexual abuse. incest, violence, murder, and any other moral deviance is proi1tic.

A caring but uneasy bond forms between Henry and Becky the only ray of hope in the whole

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Portrait of

us (1997)

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film, which ignites the question - can Becky save Henry from his psychopathic tendencies? You'D have to see it to find out· if you've got the guts.

What is clever about the film is the build up. At the outset, the violence is inferred, with chBiing images of murdered women interspersed with shots of Henry.

As the film develops, the violence intensifies, to Include the shaking scene in which the audience watches the murders through the eyes of the killers as well as the climactic murder (no, I'm not telling of whom). This begs the question, gratuitous or gritty realism? Not your usual slasher nick and far from an Amie/Jean-Ciaudt: action film. Henry Is a unique and sad depict1on of a violent reality. So If ~ou enjoy a disturbing film that explores the darker side of life and offers more depth than Texas Chainsaw Massacre. then get yourself a pillow to hlde behind, a tissue to quell your screams, and h1re t!lis cult film.

LJJra F/tzgfKBld

Lady

Din Jane Camplon Video - out to buy

START THE NEW TERM WITH A SMILE

his gloomy film centres on lsabel Archer (Nicole Kidman), an American living with relatives in England. While visiting Italy, lsabel meets arother expatriate, 'Gilbert Osmond (wellplayed by John Malkovich). The creepy Osmond ;s clearly a bad sqrt and is only after lsabol's money. but she falls for him and they marry.

Unsurprislngly, Osmond turns out to be a bullying husband and lsabel realises she has lost her independence.

This story has a lot of tragedy and could have been translated into moving cinema, but sadly it is a cold and frustrating experience. Despite an impressive cast, it is hard to empathise with any of the characters apart from the suffering Ralph (Martin Donovan). lsabel is supposed to be a magnetic heroine but her motives remain

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unclear. This is largely because Kldman, who has excelled In a number of contemporary thrillers, is too stiff for this heavy, emotional role, making it difficult to sympathise with her when things go wrong . The film shares the artistic ambition of director Jane Campion's The Piano and includes many splendid images of Florence and Rome.

However, the film's narrative does not hold together and makes great leaps forward In time, suggesting that much from the novel has been left out. The result is a turgid melodrama which may appeal to romantic types, but everyone else is likely to give this one a miss.

Chrls Hodgen

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THE EVENT, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 29, 1998

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They have Friends, Frasier an Roseanne, we have Birds of a Feather and Brittas- hat are e doing wrongt

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Today Tony Blair will hit the. Net in an effort to talk to the voters.

Stuart Dredge ponders the implications ...

e all know that Tony Blai r is the great moderniser. After all , his very modern publicity machine kee ps telli ng us so.

He's so young and thrustingly hip that he's even been known to lay down some , er, licks on his electric guitar. Just try to imagine his predecessors doing that - well , maybe you 're better off without that particulaF mental image .. .

The point is that New Labour is supposedly all about sweeping away political cobwebs and kicking Britain into the next Millennium. So it comes as no surprise to find his latest political scheme involves the Internet, which is fast becoming the future of communications, education, and finding rude pies of Baywatch stars. Just two weeks ago, while launching the new Downing Street Website, Mr Blair announced plans for a gro undbreaking 'Webcasr.

For those of you who haven't heard of the term, a Webcast is basically an on-line interviewJ whe re the questions are put by us, the public - or at least, those of us who have access to an e-mail account. it's a bit like that Westminster Live programme where people phone in to ask politicians questions. In the last fortnig ht, people have been e-mailing their questions to the Downing Street site on a variety of subjects. On April 29th , Sir David Frost will sort through them,

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and put as many as possible to the Prime Minister in a 45-minute session, which will be broadcast on the 'Net. The build-up has been predictably highprofile, despite the fact that there are only an estimated six million Net users in Britain. Tony himself said that, "lt is vital that political leaders try to keep in touch with the people that elected them," and-proclaimed tt:le.wondei:S olthe Nelas. a tool for, "bridging the gap between government and people." If you believe the spin, thi s is true democracy in action.

But is that actually true? For one thing, the deadline for sending questions was four days before the Webcast, giving government minions ample time to get rid of anything that might be considered awkward . As a result , it's unlike ly that Mr Blair will have to face any really critica l questions on issues such as tu ition fees, welfareto-work or gay rights. In fact , the whole shebang may just be a novel form of party poliiical broadcast, with no way of challenging the Prime Minister on his answers. ven if the Webcast lives 'down' to that expectation though, it does open up interesting paths in the future. The Downing Street Website promises that there will be other on-line chats with members of the government.

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Although details are scarce at the moment, it'd be nice if we really were given the chance to 'grill' Cabinet Ministers on a regular basis. The on-line interview is gradually becoming more popular, with chat sites such as www.yahoo.com offering regular Webcasts with musicians, TV stars and politicians. Only last week guitarist Joe Satriani came on -line for an hour's chat; sornethingJbat T 011¥ Blair .might have found usaf.u~ for his axe technique!

Visitors to the Downing Street site are treated to a wealth of spangly graphics, in-depth governmental blurbs, and even a guided tour of Number 10 for those Lloyd Grossman's among you. You can register to receive regular e-mails from the government. The story took a curious turn last week, as it emerged that not only does Mr Blair prefer handwritten notes to e-mail, but that he admits to being a computer dunce!

"I confess to feeling humiliated when I watch my children working on computers doing thi ngs I would take ten times as long to do," said the sheepish Prime Minister. Nevertheless, the forthcoming Net mterview is a start on the road to Internet literacy for Tony. lt won't be long before he's wasting his time surfing Teletubbies sites like the rest of us!

Play with Lara Croft for as long as you like for just I 5 quidt Now there's an offer Solomon Rose couldn't refusel Of course, there are also some other games ... s anyone with a computer or console will know, computer games are darned expensive.

For students on a limited budget, forking out 40 quid for the latest titles is a right pain rn the old behind. This, happily is where budget games come in. Classic (and not so classic) games get repackaged and sold at half their original price or less.

Cue masses of happy garners. free to enjoy therr hobby without having to go without food, clothing and a social life. Well, two of the three anyway ..

All this blathering about the marvels of budget software does have a pornt. Eidos Interactive, which is one of the world's most prolific games publishmg compames, has JUSt set up a new budget range, entitled The Premier Collection.

The first five titles have JUSt been released, so lnter@ctive was naturally keen :o see if they're worth your pennies.

We've already rhapsodised about Champ1onsh1p Manager 2 on this page in the past, and its position as the world's best footy management game is still unchallenged. How

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THE EVENT, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 29, 1998

cope with its highest detail levels. And, for addictive is it? those of you who get excited by the Let's just say thought of checked trousers and peaked that when it caps, it allows you to play as 'golf legend' sneaked its Amold Palmar. way onto You'd be forgiven if the phrase 'Interactive certain office Movie' brings a chill to your spine. After all, computers, even most games in this genre have been little hardened soccer more than cinematic Choose Your Own phobes were seen wearing parkas, ;~·:~a!t~~o:ri~Jfiii!zi~BIIl Adventures, starring ex-porn actresses, US discussing the soap rejects, and merits of the Dennis Hopper. Under Christmas .A Killing Moon may Tree formation, and acceptrng have the mandatory illrcit wads of cash round the crap actors, yet back of the Hive. Put simply, somehow t's not half it rocks. bad. You get to take Links LS is a golf game that centre stage as T ex promises to be brillia"lt Promises? Well, yes, smce it managed to successfully Qaf<le thrs revrewer's humble computer.

After a blast o~ c·owd applause Murphy, brdding to save the world from during Installation, it promptly decided that I d be better off extmctron by vague wrthout sound, and no amount forces of ev'l. of tweaking, cajoling, or blind Although 's the fury could persuade rt weakest title of the five. at a budget otherwise. pnce it's worth a look Still, even without the sound of nodoubt smarmy American rf thrs sort of thing's your bag. commentators assessing my every mis-hit, Links is good fun.

Billing itself as 'The Ultimate 3D Slugfest', Duke Nukem 30 was the The 'photo realistic scenery' adult alternative to Quake when it was released. looks pretty sma[t, even if it As well as the usual array of guns'n'baddies, it does require a ninja PC to

also boasted a smattering of swearwords and the odd pair of female breasts, immediately winning the hearts of a generation of spotty adolescents.

You know the score with this type of game: run around a 30 world shooting things and solving puzzles, preferably with a few mates if you've got access to a network. it's good, but the slightly awkward control system means that it's just not as playable as Quake, which has already beaten it to the shelves in budget form.

Finally, the most high-profile of Eidos' inrtial five releases in The Premier Collection is Tomb Raider: Unfm1shed Business. Yes bloody Lara Croft, for those of us who have spent the last couple of years wondenng how grown men can fancy a bunch of pixels, however curvily they're arranged on screen. On one hand, Tomb Raider does rnvrte criticism for the cult of spods that's built up around Lara But look at rt thrs way: hundreds of thousands of males have been getting therr 1<rcks pretendrnq to be a woman I Revolutronary gender manrpulation or what? I Besides, Tomb Ra1der is a great game, giving the platform genre a much-needed kick up the back passage, with lush 3D effects and fiendishly hard yet rewarding gamep!ay.

On thrs budget release, you even get four new levels that weren't in the anginal, making it nigh on essential.

So there you have it. Five games, all retailing at £12.99 (apart from Tomb Raider. which'll set you back two quid more). Hours of gameplay at a pnce that won't lead to an awkward meeting with your bank manager. That is, unless you buy all of them ...

ALLEGEDLY THE OST LTE E CLUB IN IC

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the alcopop Revisit the drinks of your underage days ...

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If you're thinking "do I go for th Kraft slices or the vintage Camembert%" this guide could mean the difference between having good oral excitement and leaving a bad taste In your mouth Gouda This cheese, when translated into English, means 'the King of Cheeses.' All right, it doesn't really, but it should. Gouda, pronounced 'howda', has a yellow appearance and a smooth and creamy taste. 11 has a wax rind which should be removed only at the time of consumption. All in all, Gouda combines the best in flavour, texture and price.

StiHon Stilton is the easiest to recognise because of Its distinctive blue, mouldy veins but don't let this put you off. This English cheese comes in two varieties· blue and white. Stilton is legendary for its strong, pungent taste and Is an excellent partner with cream crackers.

Camembert Good Camembert can be smelt from at least 100 metres away. The closer the aroma approaches smelly socks the better. Camembert has an edible bitter rind and a soft, creamy interior. High quality Camembert should have a runny filling and the centre should flow out when sliced. Best accompanied with red wine.

Red Leicester If you like the taste of putty and the consfstency of rubber, then you'll like Red Leicester. This bland cheese is cheap and readily available at any garage shop but lacks flavour and appeal. Avoid it if you can.

Farmhouse Cheddar Contrary to popular belief, this cheese Is not In the shape of a farmhouse There is a wide variety of cheddar cheeses, so be careful when selecting them.

Farmhouse cheddar is possibly the best cheddar available tn your local supermarket because of. its sharp taste and low price.

Steve Cu/llngworth

Metz £1.50 Union Bar, 5.4% vol ,_.,...w_... Th1s little bottle looks parttcularty swanky, such a shame then that 1ts contents tasted like cheap, flat lemonade that has a suggestion of the early stages of fermentation. Klnder critics may compare the flavour to soda water. After an initial blast of sweetness there follows a dryness at the back of your throat that lingers.

Mo cow Mule £1.25 Union Shop, 5.5% vol One setback with this tipple's I'K~IIPit'.,... packaging IS that you can't see what your drinking. For our tasters this was somehow a little unnerving. This smell sweet but had a definite sour aftertaste. Mule has a distinctively fruity flavour, a cheap Aqua Libra is the best description. The first few moments this is in your mouth it is really quite pleasant but soon succumbs to the taste of rusty nails at the back of the mouth.

Woody's £1.09 Union Shop, 5.3% vol With it's Barbie synthetic pinkness this is the pedSGI summer party drink. Woody's tastes and looks fresh and zesty and smells like a shower gel in the Body Shop range, it's reassuringly fizzy and has a bit of a 'totally tropical taste.' After a while it's sickly sweet. Doubtless this is a favourite among youngsters in the parks of Britain at the weekends, and we rather liked H too.

Two Dogs £1.50 Union Bar, 4% vol lt's appearance is one of an olde Englishe lemonade but this beverage is of no use to man nor beast.

As soon as the bottletop came off the smell of effluent rushed up our nostrils. The smell alone made us wonder what the real reason behind its name was. :L""'IP\'!~D}Think of a carbonated cough syrup Mixed w1th an unpleasantly tart lemon and you've got Two Dogs.

Hooch £1.09 Union Shop,4.7o/o vol Every student in Britain must have had a brush with Hooch since its birth two years ago. Suffice to say that it was a good deal sweeter than Its poorer cousin Two Dogs and much more comfortable on the --·"""" palate. Hooch remains the original cunningly disguised alcoholic drink.

Cstherlne Jomn

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stephen kuuslsto

THE PLANET OF THE BLIND tephen Kuusisto was born with severely impaired sight. With eyes like smeared and broken window panes' he has only ever been able to see a world of shadows, colours and shapes. The Planet Of The Blind is a remarkable memoir about hiS struggle to live with this blindness. Kuusisto portrays a dreaming existence where a highly exerCised imagmation IS capable of picturing the world with amazing clarity. As an adult Kuusisto recalls the indignities of his Isolated youth, the struggles Within himself and the rejection of others.

He lovingly understands his parents guilt and inability to deal w1th the stigma attached to having a blind child. With com1cal effect he descnbes the forceful approach to life which he maintained as a boy. Refusing to accept the extent of his blindness he vowed to 'conquer space by hurtling through it' - walking with his head held high or riding a bicycle through sheer determination. But mostly Kuusisto's life is spent bent low, face to the ground, avoiding the stares, and he stumbles through half a lifetime, angry and insecure. At college he suffers from obesity and then anorexia. He can only decipher a book's words by plunging h1s head into its spine. Yet by exploring the world through the thoughts and words of others he finds the confidence to continue these adventures for himself. Kuusisto explains in The Planet Of The Blind that historically the blind were believed to possess powers of foresight or divine judgement. lt is th1s he takes as encouragement as he develops the ability to look upon an obscured world with a clear vis1on of hope and intent.

Rupert Goodwin

''Y

ou don't come out of rural working class Scotland without extreme amounts of damage." Damaged or not, AUson Fell, UEA's new Eastern Arts Writing Fellow has certainly followed an eclectic career path. After training at Edinburgh Art College as a sculptor Fell moved south of the border and worked for London's thriving underground press (Oz. Spare Rib). She has also spent time working in the theatre, journalism, sculpture and, of course, writing.

However, despite her Scottish roots, Fell acknowledges that she is not a part of any particular Scottish school of writing. And those north of the border certainly don't seem anxious to credit her with membership of any either, as she

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. .TH~ EVE T, WEDNESDAY,

AP.RI~

29 ,1998

explains. "They're really a bit suspicious of me, because I'm an ex-pat and because I live in London." This attitude does not seem to worry her though, and she has no wish to jump onto the Scottish dirty-realism bandwagon which publishers are currently so obsessed with. "There's a pressure on young people to think that if they want to get published they should be writing about dirty, disgusting, working class social realism."

Fell, however, believes that publishers shouldn't be so blinkered in their approach to new writing.

"Just because a person is young doesn't mean that they can't write the most extraordinary kind of lyrical fantasy, even if they do come from the gutter."

Fell's dislike of the way market trends can

influence what is being published does not lead her to condemn the writers who created the currently popular genre of dirty social-realism .

She thinks that James Kelman is, "a damn good writer," although she found the "pornography of the needle" in Trainspotting slightly disturbing.

When asked to describe her own writing, Fell becomes quite evasive. "I don't really know that I've got a style. I'm not that interested in finding my voice, and publishers don't like that since they like writers to have a recognisable style." Indeed, her writing is eclectic in the extreme, regularly jumping from prose to poetry and back again.

"Sometimes I don't know which one I'm writing.

My novels do tend to have sections that are like poetry." She is also vague about her influences, saying that she's influenced by, "anybody who's any good."

Fell's disdain for literature's traditional boundaries may well have been helped by her refusal to study English in any fonnal way. Like many others she feared the study of critical theory would "massacre" the creative process. Nevertheless. she does believe that "there are craft things" to be learnt about Creative Writing even though the main benefits of studying the subject come from different sources to most other courses. "You meet plenty of other people who also want to be writers, you write a lot, and then you share it with these people." She explains, "You learn as much from your peer-group as you do from your tutor.

All the tutor can do is create the basic situations and plunge you into the language and, ultimately, see if you will sink or swim."

As a Writing Fellow, Fell is available to all swimmers and non-swimmers who want advice on their writing in room 2.43 of EAS, Thursday 10-

12.00.

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.... f a history were to be written of Britain's showbiz cities Norwich would probably have not even got a mention if it weren't for one man - Alan Partridge.

And the town let him know how grateful it was when hundreds cheered the homecoming of Alan and his creator, Sieve Coogan, at the Theatre Royal recently .

The many characters of Coogan put on some of the best comedy Norwich has seen in years as the show changed from stand-up to scripted performance and back again with both hilarity and ease.

The evening began with an introduction from Pauline Calf before Coogan's crooner, Tony Ferrino, took to the stage.

The Portugese lovegod arrived in an incredible whirl of sexual energy and proceeded to give Barry White a singing lesson, before hilariously losing his fourth wife and seducing some redfaced members of the audience.

Paul Calf made an appearance, along with Duncan Thicket and Emma From, before making way for Alan Partridge himself. The audience welcomed the King of Chat in the same way they would a last minute winner against Ipswich Town, and Partridge pulled off his great act with glorious aplomb.

With this show Sieve Coogan proved himself to be one of Britain's premier character comedians alongside Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse of The Fast Show.

With an elaborate set, brilliant house band, many songs and a sizeable cast, Coogan took stage comedy to a new level. Funnier than seeing Ke/ly Morsn Jeremy Beadle get run over.

I

hen Kathy Lette recently VISited UEA there was none of the dry reading and highbrow discussion that visiting writers normally offer Instead we were treated with a brief but dazzling showcase of wtt and female lntrmacy that left most of the audience heavtng with laughter and cnmson-faced wrth embarrassment The men in attendance were warned at the start that this was not gomg to be cnnge-free evenrng for them.

"You're brave to coma.~ she announced upon entry. "I'll try not to wear your testicles as ear ornaments, but I can't promise anythrng."

And there was no trme for us to wish we hadn't come before Lette launched rnto a scathing attack on the men she had grown up with in small-town Australia "They are emotional bonsal who dtsprove the theory of evolution they are evolvrng Into apes!" Unfortunately the UK, where Lette now lives, did not at first appeal any more than her home country.

"When I arrived In London," she explarns, "I felt about as welcome as a solar-powered vibrator on a rainy day." Nothing is too personal for Lette, who, whilst hornficalfy describing givtng birth, advised the audience to avoid the enema, "because crapplng on the obstetrician Is theultlmate revenge!" Indeed, the flip side of having children occupied most of her talk and was the inspiration for her best-seller Mad Cows. "That book was wntten to debunk the myth that motherhood is the ultimate fulfilment," explained Lette. "lt's actually the last taboo: you are still not allowed to say it's not all it's cracked up to be." After the audience's questlontng, Lette signed off in characteristic fashion, "I'm sorry about my cold. No tongue kissing today I'm afraid!"

Daniel Bsrdsley

maddermarket theatre PlANET AQUA

S

tuck for an outfit for Club Retro? Then you should have gone to see Planet Aqua, the 'futuristic new musical' which recently hit the Maddermarket Theatre. Because there was no other conceivable reason to see such a load of nonsense. Indeed, once the actors have exhausted their wardrobe there is nothing to do for the remainder of the two and a half hours but plan horrible deaths for the entire cast. There wasn't a single redeeming feature between all nine of the actors.

Incredibly, none of them could sing - quite an amazing feat for a 'musical'! And the playwright obviously thought that a funky sound track would render any plot surplus to the audience's requirements. The climax of the production was a mindless chase around the auditorium, complete with flashing guns, during which the audience was at a complete loss. Planet Aqua was an extremely amateurish production and very disappointing for something which had billed itself as much, much more.

There were huge, awkward gaps between scenes. The sound effects either failed to work or arrived at the wrong time. When an actor accidentally collided with a door the rest of the cast could barely conceal their laughter. Had this been a middle school play it might have passed as OK. However, the fact that it was a professionally produced play only reflects worse ypon it. The finale of the show was an upbeat number called Fantastic World. All that can be said is that the world would be much more fantastic place if it wasn't for Planet Aqua!

Eml/y Hunka & Slsn Moles

fs here, it's wearing platforms and it's 'I I Genitals weren't on display at the Theatre Royal though, because this wasn't the flick with the drck but a new and rather more sentimental musical flashback to the dtsco decade The story Is based around the character of 20 year old Roddy (played by a rather too old Shane Richle), who dreams of becoming a rock star and enjoying the carnal pleasures which would come with fame.

However. Roddy becomes involved with a nightclub singer just as his on-off girlfriend discovers she is pregnant and his dreams of a glittering disco world seem to be slipping

I

a ay. e ensuing drama makes up the basis of the plot as numerous punch-ups and breakups swiftly follow. Other aspects of the musical are more ambitious though, and the 'pt (eo-written by Shane Richie, no less) d s make some admirable attempts to deal w1 the issues of drugs and unplanned pr gnancy.

M t of the performances in Boogie Nights were good, as was the music, which featured plenty of the 70s numbers we all boogie to at Club Retro. All in all Boogie NI ts was an entertaining family show a ough Shane Richie was noticeably out of trme whilst dancing. t-1 did only get a few solos though - a relief fo r some perhaps!

Ksren Rldgen & Elesnor Sheath

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CINEMA CITY JACKIE BROWN Wed, Apr 29 at 5.30pm and 8.15pm . Thu 30 Apr at 2pm , 5.30pm and 8.15pm.

Across 110th Street.. .

Ut A DR t 11 ..TUDJC 6 and 7 11ay at 7:30pn1

PR ETTY VILLAGE PRETTY FLAME Fri. May 1, Sat, May 2 and Mon, May 4 at 5.45pm.

Tue, May 5 at 2.30pm . Tu e, May 5 to Thu , May 7 at 8.30pm .

Hurrah!

ABC TITANIC "Jack! " "Rose! " "Jack!" for three hours. And it's not even porn.

MOUSEHUNT A mouse proves itself smarter than two comic actors . Duh. AS GOOD AS IT GETS Jack N1cholson 1s mean. Helen Hunt Th ey win Oscars . Yeah!

by Sam Shep.ud

IS

spunky.

THE RAINMAKER Matt Damon plays a Gnshamite lawyer up against actors all old enough to be his granddad.

CARRINGTON Sun, May 10 at 5pm.

A tale of impossible love.

HARD RAIN Cops an d robbers. But it's raining, so it's original.

ROMEO AND J ULIET Sun , May 10 at 7.45pm.

Clear yo ur diary. Feed the cat. Go and see 11.

BREAKDOWN Late , great, red- neck baddie JT Walsh conspires to disturb Kurt Russell's holiday.

GREAT EXPECTATIONS Gwyneth Paltrow and Ethan Hawke get naked.

Just like in the Dickens novel.

TITANIC If you don't know what it's abou t by now, we 're not telling you .

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LOVE ETC Fri May 8, Sat May 9 and Mon , May 11 at 5.30pm Tue , May 12 at 2.30 and 8.15pm.

A film about love.

MRS DALLOWAY Fri, May 8, Sat May 9 at 8.15pm. Mon, May 11 at 7.30pm. Tue, May 12 at 5.45pm.

AristocratiC angst. Like we care.

US MARSHA LS Fugit1ve follow-up where Tommy Lee Jones hunts . down Wesley Snipes, who (surpri se!) is innocent.

f ic:kets £3.50 f

THE BUTCHER BOY Mon, May 4 at 8.30pm. Tue, May 5 to Thu , May 7 at 5.45pm . Thu , May 7 at 2. 30pm .

A butcher. A boy. So th ere.

JACKIE BROWN Don't be surprised if characters start discussing 70s pop cu lture.

ODEON

F

UNION FILMS TOMORRO W NEVER DI ES Thurs April 30 He's Bond . He's smashing . Enough sa1d.

ONE NI GHT STAND Fn May 1 Wesley Sn1pes does a naughty thmg.

THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION Sat May 2 Men are in prison .

They gain hope , they lose hope. Then the interesting stuff starts happening .

WHAT'S EATING GILBERT GRAPE & EDWARD

..

SCISSOR HA NDS Mon May 4 Underrated wei rd ly sweeVsweetly we1rd family drama with Leonardo DiCaprio, despite Titanic, proving he can act, shown with Tim Burton's most bizarre suburban drama this side of Beellejuice.

i , .,tucni b11 C/11'£.,

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STRICTL V BALLROOM & THE ADVENTURES OF PR ISCILLA, QUEEN OF THE DESERT Tue May 12 Campy Au ssie dance film and campy Aussie drag film. Both have preposterous sparkly costum es.

NIGHT FALLS ON MANH ATTAN & HARD EIGHT Tue May 5 New York political tale by tense-drama king Sidney Lumet and Paul Thomas Anderson's (Boogie Nights) debut about drinking, gambling , and dark-lighting .

STARSH IP TROOPER S Thurs May 7 9021 0-types defend the universe through graphic random violence . All egedly a satire.

MONTY PYTHON 'S LI FE OF BRIAN Fn 8 May He's not the mess1ah! He's a very naughty boy.

VAN ISHING PO INT & TRUE ROMA NCE Mon 11 May Double feature of chases, desolate landscapes, snappy patter, and guns, guns , guns .

THEATRE ROYAL FUN NY MON EY Wednesday, April 29 -Saturday, May 2 at 7 .30pm Matinees Weds and Sat at 2.30pm A man picks up the wrong suitcase on the train.

Trauma and comedy fo llow. £3-£ 15 TALENT Monday, May 4 · Saturday, May 9 at 7.30pm Matinees Wed and Sat at 2.30pm Written by Victoria Wood , this is the story of a disaster-struck talent contest.

UEA DRA

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STUDIO TRUE WEST Tuesday, May 5- Thursday, May 7 at 7.30pm Lee and Au stin are brothers. One is a scuzzy thief. The other is a lowlife movie hack. Sam Shepard's class1c is brought back to life. £3.50

MA DD RMARKET GODSPELL Wednesday, April 29 - Friday, May 1 at 7.30pm UEA students hit the Maddermarket in an all singing, all dancing, comedy musical foll owing the last few weeks of Jesus' life . £5

LOUIS MARCHES I Thursday, April 30, 7.30pm· 11pm DJ night and drink promotion in the cella r bar.

Free

THE EVENT, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 29, 1998

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~

~eventJ NEW BREED Wednesdays Goth, metal, hard rock. £2 before 11 £3 after, £3 stud. discount

CHE GUEVARA :PHOTOGRAPHS 1958-64 Wednesday, April 29 - Thursday, April 30 from 12 - 5pm The sexiest revolutionary in history is hung from the wall by the Latin Society.

Free Admission

TRANSMITTING Thursdays Hot dance music of the 70s, 80s, & 90s £1 .50

I LIBERATIONS EVENT Friday, May 1 DJs Ritu & Asian Equation. £2.

OUT TO LUNCH with the MINISTRY Saturday, May 2 DJs Mark Wilkinson & Rocky. £9.95.

THE SHED SEVEN Wednesday,April29 Their girlfriend may have left them on a Friday, but they'll be playing on Wednesday. £10.

TH&

~TERFRONT

TURASATANA Sunday, May 3 Rap, mental cross-over formally called Manhole. £6.50.

~

T PAULY'S

IDLE WIDE+ PH Family+ Crone+ Smug Monday, May 4 £4 adv.

PECADILLOES+ Hershe+ Bring+ Shalt Monday, May 11 £3 adv.

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RF ONT

MELTDOWN Saturdays Regular indie, Britpop, and alternative dance club, with a variety of musical styles in the Studio each week.

9.30pm-2am £3 uea £4/ £3.50 cone.

EAT THIS Tuesday, May 5 Lesbian, Gay & Friends 9pm-1am £3.50/£3 cone.

DELUSION Friday, May 8 Dance all-nighter with three arenas!

10pm-6am £12.50 adv. More on the door.

IKON SANCTUARY+ ORAKLE Mondays Old favourite Student night.

Hurrah!

9pm-2am £1 stud. before 11/£2 stud. after

WRAITH Fridays, May 1 The best in goth. Grrr! £2.50 before 11 £3.50 afterwards

'

c

PLEASURE Thursdays FREE with flyers before 11/ £2 after DECADENCE Fridays Over 20s KLASS Saturdays Over 20s

A

DANCE CLUB Saturdays 9pm-4am £5 SUNDA V SERVICE Sundays House night.

8pm-2am FREE CAMOUFLAGE Fridays Drum n' Bass club.

9pm-4am £5

JUICE Saturdays Uplifting house & garage.

10pm-3am Girls £2.50 before 11/ £5 after Lads £3.50 before 11/£5 after

K'

GORGEOUS Fridays Happy House club night.

9pm-4am £5

NS

PURE SWING Wednesdays Uplifting swing for the people of Norwich.

Hurrah!

9pm-2am FREE

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BARS NOW OPEN UNTIL 2am ON CLUB NIGHTS

EIGHTIES NIGHT

+ GROOVADELIA

21 .30 £3(UEA) dr

MELTDOWN

EXCLUSIVE Addict & Dandy Warhols promos

+ THE IN CROWD

21

.oo £3(UEA) dr

TURA SATAN + WILL HAVEN + PSYCORE

19.00 £6.50 adv

DELUSION JUNGLE HARDCORE ALLNIGHTER

22 .00 £1 2.50 adv

t

MELTDOWN

EXCLUSIVE Garbage promo lots of freebies

+ CLUB FATBOY

.

21 .00 £3(UEA) dr

FILM QU Z

Loads of prizes

19.30 £1 .00 dr

UNBELIEVABLE TRUTH

+ SUPPORT

21.30 £7 .oo act"

HEADSWIM

SYMPOSIUM +SUPPORT

19.00 £6.00 ad\/

NliDGET

"'SUPPORT

19.;j0 f.5.oo auv

AUDIO WE +DUST JUIKYSt DEEJAY PUIK ROC

19.30 £6.50

~~rJo!PELITY AL~!~~S WALTER TROUT +SUPPORT

19.30£8.50

MIGHTY MIGHTY BOSSTONES +SUPPORT

19.30 £8.00 adv