The event- issue 106- 1st December 1999

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contents: ~GuÂŽC?u ÂŠCillu~B 04 04 05

how to be ... an american shop assistant booked up: eas' new publishing company small talk: the hive juke box

ow~owGuuB 06 08 09 10 11

sweet harmony: geneva & hip hoppers the arsonists vietnam writer interviewed & art restoration bringing it home: contemporary music society plenty o'frippet: the event looks at bond girls the big smoke: we visit the Iondon film festival

hardcore solo action: where musicians go when their bands fall apart

DOU~ [g)@ÂŠU@WB 14

metallica, fun lovin' criminals, morrissey, barry white, ovahead, garbage, tori amos, vyvyan, tom jones & cerys, salt n' pepa film: the world is not enough, wonderland, inspector gadget preview

arts: sex <text>, uea symphony orchestra, one flew over the cuckoos nest, minotaurs abigails party & kvetch

video-game: ali g, cruel intentions, final fantasy, dino crisis tv: farscape, soaps, buffy, miss this: hippies

19 21

cinema: now even bigger guide to all the films showing in norwich listings: the comprehensive guide to all that's happening in norwich until the end of term

editor-In-chief: james ta psfleld editor: Iuke turner arts editor: alex mcgregor music editor: darcy hurford assistant music editor: Iuke chllton screen editor: adam chapma n assistant screen editor: astrld goldsmith tvvldeogame editor: steve colllns listings: elln ]ones copy editing: ruth levls dtp: Iuke t urner, caroline ]eater, mark edwards contributing writers: gemma o'donnell, adam taffler, tyler durden, duncan gates, chrls o'nelll, anthony lovell, kate forbes , rachel cooling, robbie uprltchard, katle holzwart, ayo mansaray, jenny wiles, will lakeman, lucy sacre, elin jones, laura bullock, sarah short, joanna pawlik, mark robins, shaklr khan , melanl davies, kate wenlock, gemma catchpole thanks to: tart and the slapper, pete large, ruth , dan heywood

the event is produced fortnightly by concrete: po box 410, norwich, nr4 7tb tel: 01603 250558 tax: 01603 506822 e-mail: su.concrete@uea.ac.uk and printed by: eastern counties newspapers, rouen road , norwich nr11rb

THE EVENT, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 01, 1999

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oose talk:

ow don't get me wrong here, I think football is a fine game. I don't really understand it, to be honest, and neither do I quite see the oint of 22 grown adults running around after a ball n a regular basis during the coldest part of the ~ar, but okay, I accept it. /hat I find harder to accept though, is the peculiar 1entality that follows in the wake of football, specia lly when it's being played between two ifferent countries. Yeah, alright, you want the team JU support to win, that's logical enough, but why oes that have to mean hating everyone else? Why, •hen England (or Scotlant!l, Wales .. .wherever you're om) win, do people feel the need to swagger about >r what seems like an eternity afterwards shouting ~G-GE R-LAND at anyone whose path they cross, nd God forbid that that person doesn't look thusiastic back. it's worse 1f 'we' don't win ough; violent depression all round, with the added ssibility that some football hooligan somewhere ay feel obliged to kick the shit out of a supporter the wirm1ng team to avenge the1r wounded pnde. e press doesn't help e1ther. If England and otland play against each other, newspapers are ely to trot out mterest1ng phrases 1nvolving the rds 'tribes' and 'war', which, or is this JUSt me ing hypersensitive here, belong ONLY IN THE NTEXT OF REAL WARS. Yes, that's nght, real es where people d1e or suffer, not some football atch that we'll all have forgotten m a few years' e. God, you'd think people could keep some oody sense of perspective. it's sport, 1t's a game, s a non-essential 1f enjoyable part of popular lture that doesn't deserve all the importance corded to it. ually undesirable are all the manifestations of

xenophobia that seem to come along with football supporting. If we want England to win (and it invari ably is England; the media never seems to consider the fact that several mill ion British people

why when england win do people feel the need to swagger about for an eternity afterwards shouting "in-ger-land" at anyone they meet

insular view of other countries. Rather than pointing out that "hey! English people like football, and hey! so do Germans and Brazilians and Estonians and Frenchmen, so maybe we're not so different from one another as we thought", the same old cliches about 'Krauts' and 'Frogs' and 'Three Lions' get bandied about, encouraging the idea that the

fami liar is best, and that 'foreign' teams are strange, vaguely ridicu lous, and in no way as good as the English. Which is utter lies. The world is a big place with lots of people living in it. England is great, but there's more to life than England and its footballing fortunes. Isn't there? Darcy Hurford

might not actually be English), it seems we have to consider ourselves as infin1tely superior to every other country in the world. Adm1ttedly, the English tend to think th1s anyway. (I'm English myself and recognise the tendency in myself as much as anyone else). The US seems to be the only country we have any respect for (forget Europe, they don't speak English and hey, we can 't speak fore1gn, can we?) and even then we sneer about Amencans· lbw level of culture. Before I get completely off the po1nt though, 1t does seem a shame that 1n the twilight of the 20th century, where the Internet can connect you with someone on the other s1de of the planet w1thm a matter of seconds, where foreign travel has never been more w1dely-spread and where your average supermarket reveals a range of culmary cultures that has never been w1der, that sport can st1ll be perpetuating the same old narrow m1nded and

he tickler: YC H I LDREN I NNE E D WAARDMARYUOPIOE I B 5 F R E T E0 5 J NG5 5 L BO HAK IB5A U 5R U C LAJEARAOHTKWAPH ECU50K5RDCR5EE I NJEMNCEDAPARFRN N E L L I E RN L0 5 0 NT R I P L G L K5 L L D KU I E U URIHRYACYOIEEDT MLVABHOUSECDVYA SDROIMRAFLAMINA SROMANCEILAFLAC RCNEGEWSTPRLLI K SZBASWDOTCOTTON he end of term is surely nigh, but hey, there's no need to ~ ry; we 've the tickler to send you on your way, do it and e a winner today. yes, to win a mystery prize (or a load f crap cd's) simply bring a completed tickler up to the oncrete office

.: Fun lovin' K9 food (6,6)

(6) 9: First film with stiffies (7) The secret agent way to drink martini (6) 10: Orwell's farm (6,4) Vile green duck thing (7) 11: Walford's huge consumer of Pudsy and friends lend a helping hand menthols (3,6) ,2,4) 12: Mr Smith 's big night out (10) ~: Roland the . _. (3) 13: Neurotic, hallucinating, lawyer (4) ': Teddy with the secret word (8) 14: Supergrass on Magdalen St (4) t: Packed her trunk and went to the circus 15: phone home (2)

!: Tragic singalong (7)

THE EVENT, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 01, 1999

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so you want to be an: ®DlilJ~[(C©CIDmJ ~DlJ©[}D ®~~o~~U~mJU

"woo how are y'all doing good job have a nice day" this is how american shop assistants talk. want to be one? here's how .. . what do they do? The1r rnam a1rn 1n l1fe, contrary to popular bel1ef, IS to help. They try, nay they stnve to a1d the customer. Why? Because once you have wandered off the street into their c<;~pitalist sanctum, you are no longer a mere mortal, you are a Customer; and as such deseNe the highest respect, the gentlest handling... because they're getting paid to do it, and with the JOYS of American working conditions, you can get them fired 1f they mess up. The second you walk over the thresl1old of Gap/ Disney Store/ any 'store' (not shops, stores) in the US, you are greeted with a volley of incredibly sincere greetings: "Hi", "Hey there", "How're y'al l doin'" from the pantingly jovial and eager staff. They ask you if you need assistance every few minutes, and 1f you 're weak enough to say yes they joyously bustle about, collecting unwanted 1tems from the shop until they pummel you into submission and you part with your money just to shut the bastards up. what do they wear? Well, uniform mostly. Although many American 'stores' are now adopting the cunning policy of dressing their staff so casua lly so that hey! it's hard to tell 1f they work here at all! This rare ly works as they either all look the same and ridiculous (McDonald's) or the name of the 'store' is ernblazoned across every item of clothing (Gap). And then there's the Disney Store .. .oh but don't those baggybut-ta pered came l 'pants' and eye-bogglingly lurid aquamarine ca rd1gans brighten everyone's day. where do they go? This depends on the rota. They flit from till (studiously informing everyone about thei r refunds policy) to door duty (" Hey' there"-ing on your way in, "Have a nice day"-ing on the way out) to cha nging room duty (" No seriously that looks great on you. Lime green rea lly suits manly skin tones"). And then there's stockroom duty, where they can sit down and scowl, and swear profusely, and curse all the customers and dream bloody revenge on all managers. where will they go? They will spend the rest of their miserable lives working the1r way up to store manager so that the rest of the staff and their former colleagues will hate them; and eventually become enthusiastic about dai ly, weekly, monthly and yearly sales targets. They will find themselves saying things like "Go get 'ern folks!'' to their staff. .. and actually mean it. Or, they will move to England, get a job in Argas, and realise how much easier it is just to be rude to everyone .

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THE EVENT, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 0 1, 1999

from first drafts to front covers, a uea initiative is getting virgin writers off the ground. Iuke turner spoke to project co-ordinator julia bell about the pleasures am pitfalls of publishing ... he University of East Anglia and fine writing have been as closely assoc1ated as Jeffrey Archer and scandal for almost as long as our concrete blockhouses have graced the Norfolk skyline. In the beginning there was Malcolm Bradbury's creative writing MA, which to date has spawned such noted authors as lan McEwan and Kazuo lshiguro. In many peoples minds the icing on the cake has been the appointment of cu rrent crea tive writing professor Andrew Motion to the exalted establishment post of Poet Laureate, whose job 1t is to surn up important national events using his skill as a manipulator of words. However, aside form all this high profile, high media attention output there is emerging a potent new fo rce in the literary ca nnon of UEA. This is EAS

we could have all left and set up our own publishing company with the amount of books we publish, but I don't want to do that publishing, set up only last year by EAS lectucers Julia Bell and Paul Magrs. The programme began in April 1998, when Bell was appointed to a resea rch project in EAS, part of which was to try and find new ways of assessing creative writing. Ju lia takes up the story: We thought if you're assessing creative writing you' re essentially saying to somebody that they' re publishable or not

publishable, so the next step is to see whether or not that's true, force people out 1nto the real world ." Th1s began with readings upstairs in The York Tavern, whe re students were encou raged to bri ng and discuss their work; as Bell says it's "a way for you to disseminate your work, to show it to people and to have to stand by what you've wntten: and have people throw things at you if they hate it. it's much more of a real assessment process to actually have to stand by somethi ng that you've written or edited and have other people come back at you for it than 1t is to give somebody an essay, it's more of an interactive process." With all of this creative feNour it wasn't long before real books you cou ld hold and read began to pop ou t. These small tomes were always intended to be part of an ongoing series, under the simple title of < Texts > , written and conceived by students and lecturers within the University. As Bell explains, from the start it was the intention to keep the books as closely involved with people at UEA as possible: "We could have all left and set up our own publishing company with t11e amount of books we publish, but I don't want to do that. I think that it feels much more fun to be publishing w1th other people, and for it to be a collective experience." This "collective experience " is something that can be enjoyed not only by those involved in the prestigious MA course, bu t also by ordinary students. In fact, the tenth and latest edition of < Texts>, an anthology of erotic fiction (reviewed on page 16 of th1s issue of The Event), was edited and put together by two undergraduate EAS students, w1th contributions earning from pupi ls and teachers alike. "The intentio with < Texts> was always tha t it would be a collabora tive thing", says Bel l; "a ll those books have been produced with the authors; they've all had a say about the cover design, and they've been

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small talk: hive jukebox the event: so you 're a fully automated cd played system .. . what's that like? Well it's quite enjoyable really, sitting there all day watching the world go by, having you students come and fill me with money. I suppose you could say it's a could job in terms of the automated service industry. I like to think I'm a bit better than all of those mer.e chocolate dispensers; I mean, I provide you lot with a great deal of aural pleasure.

what sort of music are you into? Well all you young folk are so into th1s BOOM BOOM dance music at the minute, aren't you? Obviously I'm programmed to like everything - I'd go mad if I wasn 't, but I do like it when people put on a CD from that soft metal collection; I get to shake my mullet to a bit of Whitesnake. And although students are great, it is fun when you get a gig where there's lots of yokel types, 'cause they always pay for plenty of stuff like Meatloaf and The Eagles. Fantastic. the hive is considered quite posh, full of all those wam students ... how do you find that? lt is nice to work in such nice surroundings, and I do have a laugh watching everyone poncing around with mobile phones. And I really worry about the state of your lungs, all those trendily placed packets of Malboro lights that lie around on the tables. When you consider that many of my colleagues that I meet have to work in real sp1t and sawdust places, suffering great acts of random violence, I do feel very lucky. it's a travesty the things other jUkeboxes have had to go through, it really is. involved with the copy editing and proof reading. I think they should be open, that's the whole point of them; they 're uced in conjunction with the students it's not us going 'Yes, that's good, let's publish it'." his co-operative, almost cottage industry approach seems in many ways to be at odds with the current trend in publishing, which most publishing houses existing under the of just a few large corporations. This means that profit rather than the quality of literature is the key interest for these capitalist nts; the market gets in the way of the production challenging new writing. However, Bell believes the situation is not entirely one of doom and "You 're getting independent publishers ng against the big corporations, and you end up new, vibrant and exciting writing." This is aided small distribution companies who do not have as the key objective, who take on the smaller ndent publishing projects which is where all really new, interesting vibrant writing are coming from because the rate publisher won't touch things they don't ink they can sell ."

However, the nasty big old sharky big businesses sti 11 pose a danger to the smaller fry of the publishing world, and many small scale publishers will find themselves consumed by their own

you're getting independent publishers kicking against the big corporations, and you end up with new, vibrant and exciting writing success: "If you get to a medium size and you start getting successful and make a little bit of money and suddenly they're 'Right we're going to buy you up now and make you an offer that you just can't refuse '. But how does the EAS publishing project intend to survive in such treacherous waters? The secret, Bell believes, lies in the way in which it is run: "I hope that by running as a non profitmaking organisation we can avoid such things happening. If you do make a profit, then obviously that's a bonus on top of it; my main concern is making back the money that we spend so that we can ca rry on publishing books." So all being well EAS publishing should have a bright future ahead. With the last 12 months seeing the production of 13 books, there is a strong base on which to build, though Bell is planning a cautious programme of development: "We are in a good position, but at the same time we don't want to rush headlong into publishing masses of books and then finding th-a t we have a massive deficit in two years time. We 've got to try and build upon the successes we've had rather than try to outstrip ourselves and be really successful really quickly. As well as the short < Texts > there IS the Pretexts anthology, a larger publication intended eventually to rival the likes of Granta magazine. Bell hopes the anthology will gain a strong reputation, thus attracting the cream of literary talent: "it's somewhere where people want to send their fiction, they'll think where do I want to send my short story - I'll send it to Pretexts, I'll send it to UEA'" On another level there is to be a movement into more academic texts, intended for the student to use in their research, The first book is to be Homegrown Revolutionaries, an examination of the strange and paranoid world of the American militia groups; a subject which is so fresh that this is amongst the first texts to tackle it in depth - Bell states that one of the objectives of the academic writing is to look at subjects that have never really been written about before. So it looks like UEA's literary reputation is assured for some time to come. As Bell enthuses, our University is an ideal place to attempt such a project: "UEA's a great place to do it because you've got the best quality of writing that you' re going to get anywhere in the country. I'm really pleased with all the books we've published, it's just a bit knackering!"

so you 're totally content then? Well, I do have one thing that upsets me. Uke I said lots of the other 'boxes work in these more ordi nary places, and they do tend to think that I'm a bit of a snob, but I'm not, really. And then those posh students that frequent the Hive see me as a servant, they just put their money in and bugger off without so much as a thank you. I do ·feel very lonely sometimes because of this. Now where's that Smiths CD ...

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__________________________~~~[e~Y~e~n~t

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geneva were the bright young things of 1997, with a sound described as 'suede in a church' due to lead singer andrew montgomery's glas shattering vocals. now t hey're back, playing a one off free gig for live in t he hive. gemma o'donne/1 takes up t he story... t 's not going as I supposed. Andrew Montgomery and Steve Dora, lead singer and guitarist with indie chancers Geneva, have just instigated a thirty minute table hockey marathon in the Union games room . In the distance, I can hear a thousand Dictaphones weeping as we plink and plonk our way through the last seven years that have brought us Geneva . You may not be familiar with this band, but if you took advantage of their Live in the Hive gig, where entrance cost precisely nought pence, you will have realised that the Beatles were not wrong when they sang "the best things in life are free" "That was my idea "; pipes Steve, he's lying of course, I'm sorry to say, "I said we should be kind to the kids of Norwich!" In addition, if mingling with 'the kids ' is where it's at, Geneva 's visit to the Diner proves their accessibility to the fans. This is not a band to shut themselves away in the dressing room. No, Geneva eat with Joe Student. .. "I had the cod and cheese bake" And rew informs us, whereas Steve 'enjoyed ' "half a chicken ". Was it cold? "Yes" . And did they place their trays back into the designated holes after 'enjoying' their meals? "Yes, because it was written in really serious language, but if you don 't enjoy your meals then you shouldn 't have to." Enough said . Since they started making tunes in 1992, Geneva have snaked their way into the publ ic eye, gaining a grateful audience. Music brains might remember their single, No One Speaks as one of the highlights of 1997,as was its follow-up , Into The Blue and now they've returned to grace our thankful ghetto blasters with a new offering, entitled Dollars in The Heavens. "it's about where we're going to end up, like space travel in the future " says Andrew.

"The very rich will f**k things up and piss off to the moon , or whatever." Ironically, the video for the latest single was filmed in Las Vegas, a haven where the rich can throw away their hard-earned bucks. "it looks like we're enjoying ourselves very much under hot sunny weather, just driving a big ol· car." But would the band like to 'crack' America , seeing as attempts by their British rock counterpart: have mostly plummeted into the murky depths of Arkansas rock bars. "We had a motorcycle in front of us stopping traffic, people thought we were real!~ famous, and then they were turning away in

on taking your tray back in the diner: "if you don't enjoy your meal then you shouldn't have to" disappointment. We were just loving it, it was a laugh. " Maybe that's a 'no' then . Aside from trips to places as far flung as the US an Germany ("where they like David Hasselhoff"), Geneva have mostly been holed up in the studio recording and selecting tracks for their new album. Again, I curse the hockey table and its plinking for not being able to tell you the title (this having obscured what was on the tape recording of the interview), but as a review of it is bound to appear in a publication near you soon, you 're guaranteed t be hearing about it in the not too distant future.

in ' n ' forget your puff daddy's, the arsonists are hip hop artists in the true style, keeping to their roots in the heart of nyc. adam taffler spoke to them at a recent norwich arts centre gig in association with uea's own turntablist society ...

he Arson ists have been around since the Eighties, but it is only with the rel ease of their first album that they are starting to hit the big time. I went down to the Norwich school of Art and Design to tal k to them and ask, "so, what's all this about then?" The air smelt distinctly of spray paint from the 'graff artists still working to finish their 'pieces ' before the doors opened. The 'convertedchurch -in-Norwichness' of the venue was vanquished by the presence of fi ve straight up Hip Hop heads from NYC, the Renaissance rnen of Hip Hop as they have been called. Each member of the Arsonists crew can perform the 'four disciplines of h1p hop', wh 1ch are Breakin' , MC'n , DJ 'n and Graffiti. But as they said, "we are on the move with promoting the five elements." They are referring to

we are not commercial, we· are not underground, we are hip hop Beat Box, something wh1ch, "was always on the scene but not necessarily at the forefront ". The skills the Arsonists have come from the1 r youthful days in NYC, not from overpaid performing gurus supplied by record companies trying to synthes1se true style. The Arsonists have a rare authenticity about them, which when combined w1th the seemingly telepathic way they have of mteract1ng, make them a five strong crew of fine hip hop artists. And their styles are original, w1th influences from "Bugs Bunny to whatever you can thi nk of." Well , how about WWF wrestl ing? Yes , they even have a reference to WWF 1n one of their recent releases. Their first release was an EP in 1995, whic h the hip hop industry went crazy for. So

what have they been doing until now? Q-Unique explained: "As the World Burns is a very personal album as it represents fi ve yea rs of our experiences, joys and sorrows, building on this thing called hip hop." "We got a lot of guest appearances on the album, all from our friends who we grew up with in NYC." These comprise of seriously talented MC's, DJ 's and graffiti artists whose work you can see on the album inlay. Keepin' it real, as Ali G wou ld say. What do the Arsonists think of the Puff Daddy style of Hip Hop? "Puff Daddy, Sugar Hill Crew, MC Hammer, Vanilla Ice. That kind a stuff has always been around, and hip hop is always gonna have that. it's just done to make money, don't get mad at it. " D-Stroy reflects that "The biggest mistake hip hop artists make IS to listen to each other too much, and so they end up soun ding like each other" But they are not try1ng to fit into a hip hop category, nor are they creating one. "We are not commercial, we are not underground, we are hi p hop" The Arsonists embody the true spirit of hip hop in the1r live performances and their first album. Hip hop is not only about guns, drugs and violence. The venue was rammed to capacity, everybody jumping and dancing. The atmosphere was light and happy. The show the Arsonists put on that n1ght had everybody screaming for more. That IS what hip hop is about. Word is the Arsonists are coming back 1n February, so all you lucky hip hop heads might get the chance to see them again. For more information on this and other quality nights, contact the Turntabl1st Soc1ety (web s1te coming soon). The Scratch Perverts wi ll be performi ng on the December 11 at the Norwich School of Art and Design. Tickets are available at Soundclash and from N.Rouse@uea.ac.u k, 61802 7 and A.Taffler@uea .ac.uk, 663 58 1.

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~event)

vietnam ; the blackest moment in the history of america and capitalism. a/ex mcgregor spoke to veteran and writer dan hallock about his experiences and his new book bloody hell, a powerful anti war testament written by soldiers themselves ... an Hallock was a marine. Trained to kill and to pray for war; as he says "After the man ne training I was not the same man I was before. But even through my conditioning there was a part of me that knew it was wrong. Very wrong··. He saw active duty in both the US marines and Navy during Vietnam. Then he had what alcoholics refer to as ·a moment of cla rity' and cou ld take no more. He resigned and has since written the much lauded book Bloody Hell. With a forward by Falklands veteran Simon Weston, the book attempts

one of the goals of the book was to to allow the veterans to rehumanise the enemy to deconstruct the war experience from a variety of perspectives. Soldiers who have fought in the Gulf War or have served on the streets of Northern Ireland have a chance to "exorcise their demons" as the author himself phrases it. The underlying motif of the book is to assert that war, cliche aside, is hell: All war, no matter where it is fought or by whom. "I have a friend who's a Vietnam vet". begins Hallock; "and he told me that he used to think t11at Vietnam was the worst of all wars, a dirty war. But after he read the book he called me and said 'I was wrong. Every war is like Vietnam". Whether it be the Falklands, the Gulf, World War 11 or Korea, every war is like Vietnam. There is no such thing as a clean war."

This is precisely the message of Bloody Hell. it's an honest, grim collection of personal experiences. None more so than that of Denzil Connick, who at the age of 15 became a JUnior soldier, losing his nght leg to an Argentinian shell during the Falklands. Upon arrival home he could not readjust and succumbed to alcoholism and drug abuse. He lost h1s family (wife and two children) and found himself homeless. His is the face of war, and his is a story that is rarely told. In fact, Bloody Hell's audacity to present an image of conflict that is unique and uncompromising has led to it replacing such esteemed texts as All Quiet On The Western Front in several US colleges. "One of the goals of the book was to allow the veterans to rehumanise the enemy" enthuses Dan Hallock, "we wanted those who have been made to murder by their governments to realise that the enemy are just like them; human beings. I, myself, was always taught that the Vietcong were mere enemies; because an enemy is not a human being, an enemy is an animal that deserves to die. But I learned that the Vietcong were not enemies; they were just like you and me. They were people with lives and families. In fact the only enemies that exist are the war hawks who start the fighting in the first place." However, Bloody Hell is not merely a work for soldiers, "I want it to educate people that have never had to fight and hopefully never will." The only way war will ever be eradicated believes Hallock, is if we "educate our children. lt won't be easy, it wil l take generations, but we can make a start by telling Bill Clinton and Tony Blair that we will not fight, not anymore".

There is no time to ki ll, argues Hallock, there exists no time to draw a line. Dan Hallock expresses a hatred for war that only one who has experienced conflict can possess. He concludes with impassioned words expressing his deep anti war

ideology, specifically concerning the recent NATO action in Kosovo. "I believe it was not justified or necessary. Discussions can work out all our differences. There is never an excuse for armed confl1ct."

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the desire to preserve our art heritage for future generations has resulted in the use of some controversial restoration methods. tyler durden investigates ... /

n the fi lm Strange Day Angela Basset declared that:" Memories are supposed to fade. They're designed that way for a reasop" That's a fa ir statement to make regarding ou r own cerebra l cortex, but surely the same cannot be said for the world's artistic treasures? lt must be our duty to see that the global communities' cultural heritage is maintained and preserved, if for no other reason than for the enjoyment of generations not yet born However this has become an argument that has exploded violently within the artistic community. The conflict cen tres around the latest restoration of Leonardo Di Vinci's The Last Supper. The problem is, claim the critics, that the restoration has given the world a "virtual Leon ardo". Further to that, critics assert that The Last Supper is now more the work of Ms Pinin Brambilla Barcilon, who was in charge of the restoration process, than it is the work of Di Vinci himself. Professor James Beck of Columbia University was the most scathing when he was quoted as saying "to claim this is the original is pure nonsense. it's taking art lovers for a ride. What you have is a modern repainting of a work that was poorly conserved. At least the older over paintings were guided by Leonardo's work." However the restoration co-ordinator Professor Giuseppe Basile passionately defended the process. He stated that the

THE EVENT, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 01, 1999

techniques used adhered to the best practice in the restoration field, including the constant use of microscopes during the cleaning, and loving ca re for the constituent materi als of the painting.

to claim this is t he original is pure nonsense. it's taking art lovers for a ride "We haven't repainted what was missing so as to have a comp lete but inauthentic Leonardo, nor have we reduced the painting to the few certain remains known to be by his hand" Of course this is not the first time the painting has undergone restoration. In fact Di Vinci's decision to paint on dry layers of plaster rather than using the fresco technique meant that the colours were given a scorching brilliance, but also that the painting began to decay the moment it was completed in 1498. Th1s, coup led with the damp from the monastery brought blisters to the piece; and fina lly incompetent restorations of the past, including wash ing the painting· in caustic soda, have caused the picture to be in the desperate state that it found itself in prior to this latest hi-tech make

over. Further support for the restoration project was given by Italy's cultural minister Giovanna Melandri, who stated at a press conference that the work had been returned to something akin to it's original magnificence. "lt was a difficult task, which unlike seven previous interventions, has allowed one of the world's best loved paintings to return to its original iconographic significance: no one can any longer say 'This is not Leonardo', Meland ri said. However for most involved in the world of art they are treating this merely as a starter dish. The real thunder is likely to heard when plans are finally announced for the preservation of the Leaning Tower of Piza. The reason for the outrage is that none of the proposed ideas actually have any support among artists and critics alike. The two most likely solutions to prevent the tower toppling are to either place several steel rods on the ground so as to hold the tower in place, or to build an identical tower which leans towards the actual Tower of Piza, thus propping it up . Both seem somewhat idiotic in their conception, and would surely appear momentously absurd to the eye. We obviously need to protect the worlds great treasures from the ravages of time, but su rely this should not be at the cost of their artistic importance and visual power.

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5knowledge ----032 stereolab what's the big fuss then? There is no 'big fuss' if we're being honest. But, in a quiet discreet way, Stereolab have carved out a niche for themselves as purveyors of Angto-French pop with philosophical and post-rock leanings. And that's a better prospect than it sounds.

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with uea's contemporary music society organising a major gig at the waterfront this week, Iuke chilton looks at the norwich music scene and speaks to the bands ... eing freezing cold for ten months of the year and having a big church doesn't really inspire songwriters to make great music, but The Beatles made Uverpool wor1d famous. The Stone Roses and Oasis brightened up Manchester. Isn't it time for Norwich to put down the pitchforks and pick up their Fender Stratocasters? Paul Eldridge, local band promoter, is passionate about the Norwich music scene. You'll find him sitting drunkenly in a corner at most alternative gigs in town. He believes the music scene in Norwich is changing. Dance culture is taking over and indie nights are steadily losing money. A combination of short-sighted DJs and lazy consumers has resulted in the scene going stale. "The UK scene is horrifically dance based, but there are lots and lots of people still into guitar music ·, believes Eldridge; "Unfortunately, on the radio you get your Travis, you get your Gomez, and it's all so f**king boring and bland . lt makes you wanna switch the radio off and throw it through a wall.· Norfolk is not renowned as a centre for exciting new music trends, like Manchester or London, but Paul

on the radio you get your travis, you get your gomez, and it's all so f* *king boring and bland is convinced that smaller regions can produce better bands. "You go to London as a touted band and your gig is full of media. You don't have a fanbase; there's no scene in London," he says. But there's a problem with record companies' reluctance to travel outside of the bigger cities to find talent. In 1997 Norwich received a surge of industry interest after a feature in NME featuring local bands Ovahead, Crest and Magoo. Paul remembers the hype. "There were loads of strange men with mobile phones appearing at the Arts Centre. We were like 'What the f**k's going on here?' Then two weeks later they were gone. The solution is record companies must get regional A&R. • There is new optimism as Norwich Arts Centre relaunches its Wild Club nights, which were once home to ear1y concerts from Space, Oasis and Nirvana. However, there is still work to be done. "Norwich does have some really good bands, like Overhead, they are a good band. But there is a publicity problem, nothing seems to get advertised on campus.· Eldridge believes UEA has done nothing to help the situation, "The Union, in their wisdom, have decided to make it impossible to put on a gig on campus". The union has banned drinking in every room in Union house, and there are no university facilities for bands to rehearse. He also believes Norwich students need to widen their tastes and explore independent record stores. "C'mon people, go down SoundCiash. See the records. Buy the records", he pleads. But before that, Norwich must produce some new talent worth boycotting Our Price for. Where are the next

generation of Norwich bands coming from? Try the Contemporary Music Society. Spyridon Heorgiadis, president of the CMS, has organised the SoundSplash festival where six of the best student bands from Norwich will play The Waterfront this Thursday, December 2. "Basically it 's all about CMS bands making a statement. This isn't just people who get together for a laugh, it 's people who are really into their music," Spyridon explains. He'd like to be able to put on more events, but once again the Union is blamed for its lack of support for student bands: "lt costs £400 to rent the LCR, plus additional costs for lighting and engineering. lt 's a special deal for societies, but it could be a lot cheaper." Uve in The Hive would be a perfect venue to showcase student bands, but it is booked up at the beginning of the year with drinks promotions and karaoke events. Students are forced to find other venues at great personal cost, such as Fat Pauly's or The Ferryboat. Spyridon is hoping his upcoming festival will help improve the situation by proving student bands are worth listening to. The bans appearing will include:

©®~ ~ ~[Ji)~ Coli ins are an instrumental jazz, punk outfit inspired by the James Taylor Quartet, amongst others. Guitarist Zee Bhunnoo explains how they came up with the name: "it's our drummer's last name. He was booking a practice one day and he couldn't think of a band name so he just said Coli ins: lt got to the deadline and we hadn't thought of anything better." Bhunnoo is relaxed about the future of Collins: "If something happens it would be great, but I'm not gonna cry if nothing comes off, put it that way. I'm not putting all my eggs in one basket.·

Marcus Neat is a solo artist who specialises in

acoustic love songs. He hints that among his Byrds style strumming he might throw in a cover of The Bangles' Manic Monday. "And maybe Smack My Bitch Up!", he jokes. He's been playing the guitar for three years, but likes to keep his songs short and sweet, -"1 don't do solos"- and likes to sit down on stage -"1 call it Stool Rock!"

cdlW~ITilf!S ©llil~~llilU'® Headed by Spyridon himself, Dying Culture are a loud metal band reaching into new areas. The band sometimes find it difficult juggling rock stardom with a university degree, often resulting in the well-known phrase "f**k the coursework", but find time to write songs in the midnight hour. "All of our stuff is written on acoustic guitar at night in the silence" says Spyridon. "You put your arm out when you play and if the hair goes up, then you're doing something right."

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Stereolab members may come and go - sometime members include NME journalist Gina Morris and High Uama Sean O'Hagan - but two members always remain: Tim Gane, on guitar, and L.a=ltitia Sadier, on vocals and keyboard. They write pretty much all the band's music, and what's more, they're going out together! Bless! And they've recently had a baby! Double bless! Oh dear, starting to digress now. Anyway, the current line-up seems to have stabilised as a four piece, including Morgan L'Hote on additional vocals.

sold a few records then? Sold a few records no. Made a few records, mind you . Loads of records, in fact. This is a band so prolific that they've released nine albums in only eight years. The figure may be even higher, but I'm not starting any arguments over the precise figure here.

which Is best? Hard question. 1995's Mars Audiac Quintet is rather good, especially as it contains the sing!~ Ping Pong which blatantly should have charted but didn't, 1993's Space Age Bachelor Pad Music is tantalisingly short and sweet. For a perfect introduction to the '.groop though, look no further than Switched On Volume Two, a collection of singles, (including French Disko and John cage Bubblegum) in a handsome cardboard sleeve.

are they quite arty and pretentious then?

Mark Evennet fronts Andalusia, a bunch of multiinstrumentalists somewhere between Supergrass and The Pixies. The band have been working hard trying to get noticed by record companies, and hope some of their contacts will be turning up at the gig to check them out. "We've been trying to move away from generic love songs, and we've got some excellent stuff ready for the Waterfront" says Mark.

Arty yes, pretentious no. Well, only in the nicest possible way. Stereolab are distinct from other bands in that they sometimes sirg in French, which is-gasp-not English, and write lyrics on such disparate topics as economic recovery, social structure and obscure Twentieth century musicians (John Cage). They once did a collaboration with an American conceptual artist, making music to go with each of his amorphic sculptures, the resulting album being called Music For The Amorphous Body Study Center. Catchy, eh?

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so, what does the future hold?

Headlining the festival are Kensuke Kimachi, playing lo-fi indie rock, with plenty of hooks. Lead singer Andy Bums calls it "noisy pop" influenced by the likes of Sonic Youth and Pavement. Andy has ambitions of rock stardom, and is already attracting the groupies: "I think I had one last year. lt would be nice", he says; "That's what we're here for, to be honest. That and the money!"

More albums. More children, perhaps, for nm and l..retitia. More wibbly noises on Stereolab albums as they become more and more post-rock and less and less likely to end up on Radio One's A-list.

in retrospect ...

Bigger slumps and greater wars and a smaller reco-ver-y/ Huger slumps and greater wars and a shallower re-co-ver-y.

THE EVENT, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 01, 1999

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bond has survived the ravages of political correct ness to 'entertain ' hundreds of ladies all over the world. duncan gates dons a dinner jacket , whips out his walther, fiddl ~s with his his gizmo and investigates the phenomenon of the bond girl. .. hat is it that makes the classic Bond girl? Yes, that's the question which has plagued generation upon generation of drunk blokes since Ursula Andress famously decided the sea was too cold back in 1962. With The World is not Enough already hitting cinema screens across the globe, it's about time this philosophical stumbling-block was laid to rest once and for all. This latest offering from the 007 "stable follows a recent trend in having not one, but (count 'em) TWO objects of desire for everyone's favourite naval commander, so we ought to see just how Denise Richards (the goodie) and Sophie Marceau (the baddie) fit in to the legacy. Right, let's be honest, the first question is one of breasts. I'm not (as it might seem) going out of my way to be perverted, but even the slightest glance at a poster/trailer/publicity shot will confirm the fact that neither of them are exactly badly endowed. If

ultimately a bond girl must stand as being the movie's sexual zenith, unobtainable to everyone apart from the man himself that gets all the femin ists on my back, then I'm sorry, but in the entire history of Bond there has been only one major female casting decision which was made without any l1int of sexuality, and that was Rosa Klebb in From Russia with Love , the Sov1et short-arse sexagenarian (and she doesn't count). Obviously the despicable allegation has been made that the considerations described above had more beanng on the casting than acting ability. The answer IS, well of course they d1d, it stands to reason. Evidently it didn"t bother them in View to a Kill (the blonde one, not Grace Jones), Diamonds are Forever (either or both) or Octopussy. Ultimately a Bond girl must stand as being the mov1e"s sexual zenith, unobtainable to everyone apart from The Man himself. Now that we've

got that rather squalid little subject out of the way, we can move on to names. Yes, it's not enough that Bond's lead1ng ladies are the sexiest in the film, they also have far and away the most stupid names the English language can provide. After T. W.I.N.E. comes out, Christmas Jones and Elektra King will stand shoulder-to-shoulder with the likes of Tiffany Case, Plenty O'Toole ("well of cou rsh you are ... "), Octopussy, Domino (twice), Goodnight and the one, the only, Pussy Galore. This brings us rather neatly to the next subject, concerning the role of Bond in contemporary society. The ent1re Broccoli family and all their pets would be burned in the street if Pussy raised her head again (no pun intended), so Bond girls therefore require an active role in the proceedings which involves more than being captured by the enemy and forced into more bikinis and cocktail dresses than you can shake a Wa lther PPK at. Bond girls should act as role models for today's empowered young women rather than lust objects for the man in the street. Now, if none of you have ever seen it before, that last paragraph is th e closest you' ll ever come to 100% undiluted bollocks. How else would you explain the fact that the female villain in Goldeneye had the surname "Onatopp" and crushed victims to death during sex? You might say that they relented with the self assured, high kicking Chinese one off Tomorrow Never Dies (played by Michelle Yoeh), but let"s be honest, the fourth-to-last scene in the fi lm was still her being held at the mercy of a psychopath with a big gun, with Bond as her only hope. Listen people, NOTHING HAS CHANGED AND IT NEVER WILL. Well, as we seem to be nearing a final analysis, it's fair to say a little about what a Bond girl's real -life role wou ld entail. I think it"s fair to say that the omens are not particularly encouraging. If we take a look at the stats, it's only possible to come up with a handful of actresses who've managed to establish themselves outside of Bond . They are: * Britt Eckland - I know for a fact she was in Get Carter and a few other films as well after The Man with the Golden Gun.

* Ursula Andress - According to Sick Boy, the quintessential Bond girl managed some film work, most notably She (well, it's a career isn't it?) * Honor Blackman I Diana Rigg - Although strictly speaking, they had already made careers out of The Avengers. * Grace Jones - She can still hold her head high in public as the woman who beat up that chat-show host (and apparently she sang a bit as well). * Jane Seymour - Genuinely unknown before Live and Let Die, she has since appeared in several US TV movies and starred as Doctor Quinn: Medicine Woman (actually I take back what I sa1d about careers ... ) * Teri Hatcher - Whatever else you may say, she doesn't owe Bond for her fame. She owes 1t to The New Adventures of Superman. Ha ha.

o there you have it. Barring them, the others (ie. most of them) have fallen into the hideous, inescapable abyss of "the French one", "the Chinese one", "the Other one" and so on, never to be heard of as people again. I do, however, feel honour-bound to mention a late 70's/early 80's actress named Maud Adams, who has achieved a weird quasi-fame from being in two films (Man with the Golden Gun and Octopussy) as two different characters with the same Bond within a few years of each other. This was notable in being one of the biggest continuity errors 1n mov1e history. Taking all this into account, what can we say of Messrs. Richards and Marceau? Well, we've covered

it's only possible to come up with a handful of actresses who've managed to establish themselves outside of bond the fact that they have all the necessary, erm, appeal, but are either of them really likely to truly typify the Bond babe? I must say Marceau does not. Frankly this is because she's a bit too good, having already run up a credit list tha t includes Braveheart , Anna Karenina and A Midsummer Night's Dream . After the far juicier role of the bad girl, she'll go on to bigger and better things and always count Bond as something she once did . Right, Denise Richards. I'm sorry, but we might be on a winner here. She said herself that if she never worked again after doing Bond, she was never going to work again anyway and there's every possibility that her theory may be put to the test. So far her career consists of Drop Dead Gorgeous (bad-taste film), Wild Things (bad fi lm with sex), Starship Troopers (bad film with gore) and Tammy and the TRex (bad film with, evidently, prehistoric beastie). All the ingredients are there; the body, the stupid name, the crazy casting (apparently she's one of those nuclear weapons experts who like to run around in small tops and hot-pants) and the hitherto less than illustrious film career. This is all that a gi rl needs to fulfil one of the great fema le fantasies ... and spend the rest of her life being referred to as "off that James Bond film".

THE EVENT, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 01, 1999

the Iondon film festival has been a big success once again, chris o'nel/1 gives the lowdown on the new films receiving the sneak preview treatment around the country . .. ondon's West End. Home to bars, clubs and suspicious street performers. For four weeks a year, though, it is also home to the London Film Festival. Stars from around the world turn up to watch premieres and special screenings of the latest and most interesting works committed to celluloid. This year festival organiser, former UEA student and ex-Cinema City manager Adrian Wooton has put t ogether a veritable smorgasbord of movies and talent to end the century with a filmic bang. Ride With the Devil, Ang Lee's Civil War epic, opened the festival mere days before it went on general release. Lee always brings out startlingly real performances from his actors (as seen in The Ice 1 Storm and Sense and Sensibility), and here he manages to get a very convincing performance from songstress Jewel, as a Southern lady whose life is ' "' f'IO!\h~ by the slaughter and devastation of the war. The inauspicious start to the festival \VSS made up for by the special screening of Spike Jonze's directorial debut Being John Malkovich. A crazy and surreal film about a patent clerk who discovers a portal into the brain of the intense actor. The clerk, played by the always dependable John Cusack in a different change of pace, begins charging tickets for other people to take the trip into Malkovich's psyche. With hilarious support from a virtually unrecognisable Cameron Diaz, and cameos from the likes of Charlie Sheen (he's never been betteri, the film is topped off with the Malkster sending himself up something awful. After the screening, the director Jonze and his screenwriter Charles Kaufman, took the stage for a

little Q & A session. Both .men are tiny little fellas who'd look more at home by the pond in someone's garden rather than collaborating on one of the most fiercely original films of the decade. Kaufman, wearing a Marks and Spencer suit three times too big for him, was reticent and barely spoke. Jonze, coming off like a true surfer dude, couldn't explain anything about the making of the film. The most anyone could get out of him was how he came up with the concept, which he descri bed as "we just

this years film festival organiser, former uea student, adrian wooton has put together movies to end the century with a bang wrote it and John wanted to do it". Insightful. But the film more than compensated for their disappointing appearance. They seemed intimidated and embarrassed to be confronted by an auditorium of around eight hundred people (or maybe Jonze had suddenly realised .that his new father-in-law is Francis Ford Coppola) . But, as a couple of young guys whose film is taking the festival circuits by storm, you can hardly blame them for feeling a bit out of their league. The next big event was the first screening of Steven Soderbergh's The Umey, a stylish crime thri ller set

in modern day LA. Terence Stamp, currently to be seen .parodying Scientology in Bowfinger, plays an ageing East End gangster tracking down his daughter's killer in Los Angeles. Soderbergh pulls off a first in using footage of Stamp from an earlier film, Poor Cow, for his flashbacks to Stamp's swinging early years in the swinging Sixties. Soderbergh, in a special interview after the screening, said he was delighted to get Stamp for the role. Not particularly for his acting ability but "because he was the only leading man who'd actually let me show what he looked like 35 years ago in the same movie; that's gona hurt". The film contains some truly great moments, particularly having fun with the American/East End language barrier. When Stamp and a crony arrive at a party, Stamp says he's "gonna have a butchers路, to which his Mexican cohort anxiouSly replies: "no, man, don't butcher anybodyf!" The interviews this year had an interesting line up of talent. Tim Robbins and long time partner Susan Sarandon were both in town to promote their latest films. Robbins' second directorial project, Cradle Will Rock, originally started out as an Orson Welles film that never found a backer. However, Robbins fought tooth and nail to bring the film to the screen and it certainly doesn't disappoint. An engaging and starstudded movie (with John Cusack popping up again, garnering him the Most Ubiquitous Actor of the year vote}, the film tackles the difficult issue of communist witch hunts in the 1960s. Robbins expressed his admiration for Welles and showed his political colours again (for which he is as famous in Hollywood as he is for his films} 路in slamming the McCarthy blacklisting. Sarandon was there to promote her comedy drama Anywhere But Here, eostarring Natalie Portman. She praised the Star Wars actress for her talent and dedication, plugged the film, but seemed a little irritated to be there. lt was a fairly uninspiring interview, in complete contrast to the sexy, funny and engaging one she gave to Clive Anderson just days earlier on his chat show. The best part of the festival is always the Surprise Screening. The audience doesn't find out what the film will be until it actually starts. This year, Michael Mann路s The Insider was the film that graced the

screen as the lights went down. AI Pacino plays a current affairs TV producer who stumbles across the

michael mann's insider took only seven million dollars - a film attacking american capitalism not doing well in america? now there's a shock. story of an unfairly dismissed tobacco company employee, played by Russell Crowe. This true life story focuses on Crowe's character, risking life, family, sanity and his future to reveal an insidious plan of one of America's leading tobacco companies to make their cigarettes synthetically addictive and more damaging to one's health. The film is a tour de force, despite its paltry US opening take of seven million dollars. A film attacking American capitalism not doing wen in America? Now there's a shock. Michael Mann was on hand afterwards to take questions, and one perceptive audience member pointed out that nobody in the film is actually seen smoking. Mann defended himself by saying tha~ he 路smoked a lot while wri ting the script and so did my eo-writer", displaying a competent understanding of the implications of the question. After the screening, Mann stood around signing posters and T-shirts for those brave enough to approach the intense film maker. He thanked people who congratulated h1m, happily posed for photos with fans, but cracked his nice guy veneer when one fan handed him a poster and said "sign your name on it", to which he replied, "what the hell else am I gonna do; stick it up my ass?" This ended the autograph session. The Festival was, once again, full of surprises, and bursting with memorable talent. it's the best venue for getting a sneak peek at the most interesting films about to hit the screens over the next few months. lt's just a shame they only hold it once a year.

THE EVENT, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 01, 1999

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the music business is a funny old thing. all those big ego's and little lines of white powder are not exactly condusive to k~eping your gr9up together. darcy hurford looks at where some_of those musically divorced stars have gone

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The floppy haired, flat voiced one in the Stone Roses, lan Brown was blessed wit11 a simian physiognomy, a jangly tambourine, baggy trousers and the musical talents of his childhood friend John Squire. And that was it. Despite this, though, he was regarded as cool, this opinion having been formed on the basis that the Stone Roses' debut album was cool , and the fact that they didn't release anything else for ages afterwards that might have sullied 'that cool reputation can only have helped. We all thought he was a bit poetical and sensitive, didn't we, mainly because of all those lyrics about sugar plum sisters and wanting to be adored. There also lurked the suspicion that he had some kind of interest for religion, blasphemous or otherwise, as Mr Brown once claimed in song that "I am the resurrection I And I am the life", which, I seem to recall, was a viewpoint Jesus Christ himself also uttered at one point many centuries earlier. But we were wrong! For deep with in !an's soul there lurked a violent, tortured soul hitherto concealed by all the skilful dance/indie crossing over going on in the Stone Roses records. The beast within Brown came to light only after the band split up, shortly after the release of Second Coming in 1995, and King Monkey began to roam the charts alone, embarking upon a succession of aggressive and downright unwise escapades that landed him in Strangeways. Humbled, he released a less inspiring second album.

Bemard always seemed to be the odd one out in a Suede line up which was on a roller coaster ride of drugs, drink and debauchery. Yet he was well respected as one of the most talented guitarists of the time. As Suede began to grow and the public accepted their strange androgynous and foppish ways, everything seemed to be going right for the floppy haired axe wielder. But suddenly it all went wrong and JY the time of Dog Man Star there was set to be the showdown ol the decade between the lanky, limp, cokefuelled Brett Anderson , and the lanky, limp carrot juice-fuelled Butler. The guitarist was even said to have recorded his pieces for the second album in a separate studio, sending the tapes by post with hate messages whispered gently on the tracks. A split was inevitable and ofi went Bemard·with vegetarian cookbook in hand to go and play on other people's records. These included Edwin Collin's A Girl Likr. You , Neneh Cherry's Woman and various other projects: producing an album by a band named Hopper, an aborted record wth Suzanna Hoffs from The Bangles and fathering a child, Charlie. W1eanwhile Brett and co continued to burn the candle at both ends and then allowed every parody of Suede to become true on :heir next effort, Coming Up. In and amongst this was of course the short lived but excellent collaboration with David McAimont, which finished acrimoniously when both their egos went out of contiOI and ploughed into the buffers. This was followed by the infamous week where Bemard joined The Verve then left claiming Richard Ashcroft to be somewhat insane. Finally in 1997 Bemard signed a deal with Creation Records as a solo artist and that was that.

Ooh, he was the little cute one in the Jackson Rve, wasn't h) Dancing his little steps. and singing his little heart out with on TV. Bless the little love. Cute, but not cool though. Dancin on stage with your older brothers, all wearing the same clothes, singing Rockin' Robin is not cool, and, although acceptable to parents world-wide, will not win you any teenage fans or sponsorship from Pepsi. Neither will you start any unwise fashion trends, like Moonwalking, which is a downright dangerous way of dancing on a wet surface, as my brother once found out to hi~ cost, or studded fingerless gloves. But! Then little Michael Jackson grew up, physically at least, if not mentally, worked wth Quincy Jones, came out with Thriller, the best selling album o· all time, and, well, you know the rest, don't you? 'Wacko Jacko' tith his oxygen tanks, toy shopping trips to Hamleys', plastic surgr· his chimp Bubbles {I'm forever blowing.. . , anybody?), his out f court settlements of child abuse allegations, the conveniently near-simultaneous fatherhood (I only worry about the mother' sanity, not to mention taste), his crumbling nose, and all the ' other elements of the ongoing pageant that Is Michael Jackso~·s life. And that's not even mentioning the fact of the extra siblinb (LaToya, Janet) who magically appeared in the wake of his so14 success. What did happen to his brothers, incidentally? ,

The slutty one in the Spice Girls, Geri made a name for herself by kissing Prince Charles and redefining the meaning of the word 'dress', which, post-Geri Spice , no longer had to reach down to the legs and could be made out of any flag close to hand. Like the rest of the band, she was famous for being an all singing, all dancing pop sensation with platform heels, and not a lot else. Emotional depth? Intellect? Not qualities one associated with Ginger Spice, as we all called her, not actually knowing what her real name was, only that she was a former topless model and the oldest one in the Spice Girls. Then, in an unexpected move, she left the band. Gracious! thought the public. And it was upon that note we were left wondering, my friends, until all of a sudden a revamped Ms Halliwell had become a UN ambassador, released a solo record and been given a Channel Four documentary all to herself. The programme showed us the 'real' Geri - her family, her insecurities (these took up most of the documentary), her aspirations and was designed to make us think "hey, she's basically a nice person". Amazingly, it worked - more or less.

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Almost a year's worth of lying low (albeit with a Channel Four camera surveying her every move)

Not bad, though it grieves me to admit it. Look At Me, that big old comeback single, did quite well, Geri making a good job of sending up her image, even if her voice isn't up to the Shirley Basseyesque vocal that she was aiming for. Follow up Chico Latino wasn't too great, but, and this is important, it was no worse than anything the Spice Girls were doing. And as all the other Spices continue to release solo records, we should give Geri some credit for going solo first, showing originality and all that. Plus, she's wearing nicer clothes these days. Most importantly though, she's created a new identity for herself - no one calls her Ginger Spice any more.

Four years to bewme a fully-fledged solo artist, with a few collaborations and enemies along the way.

Mixed. Solo, lan has made some very gOOd records. Not up to the reputation of anything the Stone Roses ever did, but then their reputation was over hyped anyway. Not bad though, for a man who can't sing. Mind you, that never stopped Bob Dylan.

lan, you will never recapture the adulation the Stone Roses received. On the other hand, you are not as dire as the Seahorses were, and for that we are truly thankful.

Although he's not looking likely to become a multi-mill ion chart topping artist, his first album was received with great critical acclaim, though the latest found itself encoutering rather more negative press, a1d the first single failed. to make the top 40 and even if he does sing about fluffy bunnies, Bemie also found himself receiving a Brit Award Nomination for Best Solo Male.

The boy done great, as far as commercial success goes. Theres no one quite like Michael Jackson, and most of his younger fals have probably never heard of the Jackson Five. From a human. point of view, it would, admittedly, have been kinder if he'd be;n able to grow up in private and ·become a normal individual, bu1it's always very easy to say these things in retrospect, isn't it? Personally, I blame the parents.

W®O'cill~©~~ Well, he's happie· these days, isn't he?

Hmm, not bad. Mind you, there were enough people helping her

out.

Hee-hee! Ow! The man is bad! And mad, too (allegedly).

THE EVENT, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 01, 1999

schizophonic

The same time as adolescence takes, really. And a record aborJt a rat (Ben, 1972) along the way. But the entertaining results macte it worth the wait.

About two years and several tons of very powerful skunk. And a lot of hard th inking, I shouldn't wonder. •

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The clever thing about Morrissey's transformation from singer with the Smiths to singing solo artists is that very little transformation was in fact involved. OK, he dropped !he Johnny Marr's jangly guitar for a more rocky sound, but lyrically he was still the same miserable little bunny, thoug11 most people don't spot the attempt at Wildean humour in many of his sorgs "Why do you come here/ when you know you make things hard for me". In the Smiths Morrissey was the perfect antithesis of the power shouldered image obsessed 1980s. fawky and overbalanced by a ridiculous quiff, Morrissey wafted his f,1adioli onto Top of the Pops where a nation of bemused Bananara11a fans wondered at this strange skinny fellow telling William it was really nothing as he wiggled, burdened down by NHS spec> and strings of cheap fake pearls. When the Smiths split and Mcrrissey went it alone, he headed for the image of the 1950s as his new stage persona, and then got into a whole load of stickiness by writing songs called things like National Front Disco and wearing a Union Flag on stage... much like old Geri did, though I can't recall press outrage at that little incident. Since then Moz has wandered along i1 his own little eccentric way, releasing the odd record, getting into legal disputes with the Smiths' fom1er drummer and bassist, and moving away from the country about which he sang to settle in LA. Gracious, the man might even get a tan.

The implausibly attractive blonde frontswoman in Blondie, the band who were America's contribution to Good Music ~n the 1970s, Debbie Harry had a natty line in short dresses and seductive poses, which was probably j ust as well as the rest of the band had all the good looks and stage ci=larisma of potted plants. Anyway, she was the voice that sang Heart Of Glass, Atomic and Hanging On The Telephone, as well as making the awful cod-reggae of Tide Is High almost bearable to listen to. The fact that she was a happy item with fellow band member Chris Stein did not deter men wor1d-wide from fancying her to distraction. Then, as Blondie' petered out in the 80's, she retired temporarily from the public eye to look after the ailing Stein, before attempting a revamp and a solo career. She re-launched herself as Deborah Harry (note the sophisticated, 'grown-up' appellation) and chose her clothes to match. Yes, the woman famed for blonde hair and red cocktail dresses suddenly appeared on the scene, except that this time she had - ahem - brown hair (thus proving that she'd always dyed it - ha!) and was wearing a suit when she sang I Want That Man on Top Of The Pops. Hmm. Looked a bit like a librarian. Not someone you'd fancy or want to look like yourself. Obviously she can't have been that impressed either, as the next time we saw Harry, she'd dropped the new style, 'was back with Blondie and the old image again, and clearing enjoying it far more.

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~~[ii])@ ~®~®ITD 1f®O' ~[[®Ull®q@[[@iJ®~tl®UU~ As there wasn't much difference it wasn't very long, Morrissey beginning his solo work pretty soon after the Smiths split.

Half a decade or so to change one way, another half to change back again.

The thing that you must understand about Mozzer is that while most of the population will write him off as a miserable git, there have always been devotees who regard the man as some sort of hero - hence the frantic attempts to get near The Man at every gig. He hasn't sold that many. records though.

Not very impressive really. In attempting to go solo, Harry changed the very qualities that had attracted fans to her in the first place. She needs that backing band, if only because they are all unattractive enough to make her look even cooler than she always is.

Depends on who you are. Either you believe 100% he should be locked in a small dark room where ne one can hear his complaints, or you go the opposite way and write to your MP asking for statues, and days of remenbrance. Well, when he dies, that is.

Sexy. blonde singer + 'serious' makeover = not excellent idea. However, Blondie's reuinion is undoubtedly preferable to the likes of Culture Club and the other hoardes of Thatchers pop cock suckers around at the moment.

THE EVENT, WEDNESDAY; DECEMBER 01, 1999

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An excellent balance of sound is achieved between band and orchestra, a fact not lost on a receptive and open minded audience. But it is Metallica themselves who deserve most praise. Who else would even think of trying such an experiment, and having the audacity to release it? This is fascinating and ground breaking listening, and proves metal can be more than merely music for the be-mulleted masses. Anthony Lovell

This double live album features heavy metal giants Metallica playing a fully amplified set, accompanied by the San Francisco Symphony Orchestra. Stopped laughing? Well-founded mirth, admittedly. After all, classical music and Metallica's mighty riffs are the most unlikely of collaborations. But astoundingly, it worl<s. In fact, it worl<s incredibly well. Credit for this must obviously go to Michael Kamen, who wrote the orchestral parts and [J'ffi}~Olli)@@~ conducted the orchestra. His score adds further Loungecore, easy listening; call it what you want but dynamics and atmosphere to old favourites like Sad But True, while For Whom The Bell Tolls is given a it's still lift music. This is precisely why it's so good. Uninventive, inoffensive and slightly bland, it's good Wagnerian intensity. background music for life. lt makes sense that after At over two hours long, this is real value for money. ~---------,...---,.....-:~.---------, protest, angst, and the :.:::-"""----r-~ complexities of Steps, Generation X (is that us?) likes not to have to make such an effort with this thing they call music. So Mimosa, the Fun Lovin ' Criminals' lounge album, is good for chatting to, smoking to and shagging to. Your soundtrack for staying in - and staying in is the new going out, according to Sleazenation, so we know what to do. You may want to finish up before thei r cover of All The Time In The World, however, because, quite frankly, it's a shocker. More Karaoke

Lounge than Lizard Lounge; the only thing you can't really do with Mimosa is just listen to it, but hopefully most 'Criminals fans won't notice. it's style over substance here, so ignore the fact that there's an Ozzy Osboume cover and get your white loafers on. You know everyone looks good reclining (baby). Kate Forbes

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uea, Ier, sunday november 21 Recall if you will the harmonica in the opening bars of the Smiths' classic, Hand In Glove. The Smiths singlehandedly reinvigorated music: and it is this that Morrissey is up against now. The man Mozzer is unlikely to ever stand up against his past musical achievements, but as an icon who represents so much to so many he continues to endure; if nothing else, tonight was testament to that. From the opening bars of You're Gonna Need Someone On Your Side the crowd gorged on the man's still soaring voice, pouncing on every nuance, claiming even the slightest embellishment as their own. And

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tonight it was the tum of East Anglia's fops to celebrate -their collective wealth, throwing all they had into the strange gene pool of untold secrets and fashionable anxiety. Time has begun to take its toll on Morrissey, but the passive, priggish demeanour remains the same. His quintessentially English Kenneth Williams camp has always been shadowed by undertones of urban violence. The continued presence of Sunny and Boy Racer in the set demonstrate Moz's pseudo-sexual fascination with expressions of base masculinity is still lurking in his consciousness. The set is mostly ....J made up of familiar songs, designed ~ not to challenge the audience but to allow them to indulge themselves,

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although never descending i~to a cabaret greatest h1ts affa1r. L1ke a seasoned matador, Moz was in complete control, making all the right moves and rarely straying trom the centre of attention. This man is still rich in style, grace and finesse.

Morrissey's enigma tic persona is so twisted by contradiction that his true voice is muted, yet it is just this that draws listeners in; the conStant interpretation his records require allows fans to see their own renection, whatever that may be, when gazing at the undisputed world heavyweight 'King Of Narcissism'. lt is Morrissey's awareness of this that allows him to perform a version of Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me without a hint of irony, while individuals, driven by the affinity they feel with him, make desperate attempts just to touch the man. Like eels caught in nets, grown men struggle with security guards twice their size, twisting and nipping in every conceivable way to break free from their grasp and get on the stage to make the contact with the hero they so desperately need. Unfortunately, such gallant attempts at evading the security usually saw fans forced to admit defeat under the greater strength of Norwich's best nourished nutters Robbie Uprichard

THE EVENT, WEi.INESDAY, DECEMBER 1, 1999

From the first notes of the title track, Staying Power, we're in the unmistakable territory of Barry White, from the rhythmic beat of the bass to the innuendo laden lyrics. Get Up could be about the need for self assertion in the modem world, however it sounds more like advice on male impotence. The lyrics are the best part of White's album. As soon as Usa Stansfield purrs the immortal line, "Hold tight...Mr White" things could only get better. Barry reveals an unhealthy obsession with tongues, and an appreciation of his feminine side; I'm positive that he growls "I'll put on my favourite dress" in Staying

Power. The music, although lacking in variety, is surprisingly good. The saxophone solos, interspersed by White's deep throated humming, almost accomplish the sensuality that White tries to achieve throughout the album. Almost, because these moments are usually interrupted by White squealing "Get Up!". When the songs are more upbeat they are invariably better. Low Rider and Thank You are both 70's sounding funky tunes. Barry White may not have saved my life, but he made it a bit better for a while. Rachel Cooling

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The world is currently preparing for the release of the next James Bond movie: The World Is Not Enough (shouldn't Bond be about 80 by now?). However. preceding the film is the ever-present theme song, this time by Garbage and written in collaboration with Bond composer David Amold. But with the distinctive vocals of Shirley Manson this surpasses other Bond themes. Not to be missed. Katie Holzwart

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Our fine city's hopes of ever becoming world epicentre of yoof culture have never really been that great, but what does constitute the local ·scene' is certainly worth ta_king a look at. Take, for instance, young Ovahead. These sprightly Norwichians have been creating the kind of indefinable noise which usually causes thesaurus-bothering reviewers say things like 'ethereal guitars· and 'desolate vistas of melancholic post-rock angst' , or some such nonsense. Basically a record of mangled pop songs played very loud with added bleeps and bloops, each track piles big guitars, lazy Yanky slackery vocals and wobbly end-of-the-pier organs on top of each other to form a big mound of...stuff. Not bad stuff, either; tracks like Juke and opener it's Not the Falling lt's the Landing rock like proverbial bastards in a Placebo·on-smack (if they aren't already) type of way. But when they quieten down and pop out delicate little gems like Bag of Soul that they really transcend comparisons with any number of slackjawed U,S grumblers. Think of a Sonic Youth who are actually young. That's Ovahead, that is. Steve Collins

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asO®D'W @q ~ou® ®©® Unlike most singles, which contain one song and four ever so slightly different versions Tori Amos' latest release Glory of the 80s has two bonus live tracks. The title track is quite good, however the others are better, and there Is also a beautiful rendition of Leonard Cohen's Twinkle. Ayo Mansaray

vyvyan @l@ [fi'ffi@ ~ ~W@!!llfJ' A sparky little number by underground darlings Vyvyan; a girl 'band' in the real sense of the word for once. Unfortunately, this song lacks the Hair required for us to really take notice. Not punk enough to be Hole, not catchy enough to be B*witched. But maybe in time ... Jenny Wiles

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This version of the 1961 Ray Charles and Betty Parker classic only really serves to show the l!mitations of the celebrity duo format. Cerys plays the flirty pussycat while Tom Jones does the only style he can; the suave luurve predator. lt's disgraceful - he's old enough to be her dad! Rabble Uprichard

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salt 'n' pepa ~(lu@ jiD[[~@~ ~lltiD@~o oo Listening to this single evokes the sweaty gyrations and thonged buttocks of the jiggling automatons from MTV's The Grind. lt may sample rock fossils Pink Floyd, but you still can't shake the image of guys with mu/lets and silicone-sacked ladies shaking those spandex swimsuits on the beaches of Miami. lt's winter now, you dancing fools. Will Lakeman

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•• • pierce brosnan sophie marceau judi dench robert carlyle uci I odeon

There comes a point in The World Is Not Enough when you start to feel a strange feeling of familiarity. Contrary to speculation, the plot, and that's stretching the term very thinly indeed, does not involve a conspiracy by megalomaniac terrorists to blow up the Millennium Dome (sadly). Instead it consists of megalomaniac terrorists trying to take control of the world's oil reserves by stealing a nuclear bomb. Originality? This being the nineteenth in the series director Michael Apted could be forgiven for regurgitating some of the old material. And here we have it. .. bombs, girls, puns and gadgetry - all the prerequisites for a Bond movie. Yet, this only serves to make for a rather formulaic outing. Action sequence ... quip ... sex ... quip ... vodka martini. .. shaken not stirred ... Bond, James Bond ... but this seems to be missing the point. This is Bond ! it's meant to adhere to the usual formula, but while this makes it no worse than some of the really bad Bond films, and let's face it there have been a fair few, it also provides the audience with only a handful of new tricks. Brosnan's Bond helps raise the film above the depths reached by Timothy Dalton . Indeed, in no way can it be said that The World Is Not Enough is anywhere near as bad as anything his predecessor produced. Brosnan seems to have really found his feet, injecting an element of depth otherwise ignored by Moore, Dalton and, dare I blaspheme, Cannery too. This Bond even feels pain, becoming

increasingly damaged through the film (a predictable result of being dropped onto the Millennium Dome in the stunning pre -title sequence). Support comes in the form of Sophie Marceau as Elektra King, daughter of a murdered oil tycoon who Bond is assigned to protect. She manages the rare feat of avoiding the totty trap, being an integral and involving part of the film and not just being cast for her breasts. Her scenes with a sorely underused Robert Carlyle as Renard, a baddie who can feel no pain due to a bullet lodged in his brain , are surprisingly emotionally charged. Apted seems to have learnt the lesson that choosing actors who can actually act is a rather beneficial directing trick. Which is more than can be said for the lamentable Denise Richards as Dr Christmas Jones, a (try not to laugh) nuclear physicist. Perhaps the first of that noble profession to sport a rather fetching pair of hot pants, I can safely say Richards has earned her place in celluloid history as the most appalling Bond girl ever. Never give a girl who looks like she should be in Baywatch lines containing the word atom . Believe me, suspension of disbelief doesn't even stretch that far. With a dependable Judi Dench as M and Desmond Uewelyn in his final appearance as Q it's pretty much business as usual, and to be perfectly honest it is, on the whole, an enjoyable ride, with some stunning action sequences and locations. At no time, however, does it scale the heights of Goldeneye. If, as we are assured in the final credits, "Bond will return", he'll have to come up with something slightly more inventive if he is going to last beyond Adam Chapman this century.

Wonderland should be seen as a shrewd observational story of ordinary people living unremarkable lives. Filmed in documentary style reminiscent of Gary Oldman 's seminal social realism film, Nil By Mouth, director Michael Winterbottom's hand-held camera joins his characters for a five day slice of family life set against the backdrop of London 's bright fights and relentless city atmosphere. Winterbottom's film, partly influenced by French New Wave cinema, and shot in just thirty five days on a budget of £1.8 mill ion, takes place in genuine locations, with the most humorous moments being provided by the unwitting extras, who just happened to be in the right place when the film was rolling. This adds a striking sense of realism to the delightfully crafted film, as the actors (lan Hart, The Butcher Boy; Gina McKee, Notting Hill; Shirley Henderson, Trainspotting) were asked to improvise on certain occasions since no one take of a scene was the same as any other. The story centres on the separate lives of three sisters: one frustrated single parent, the next lonely and craving something more than one night stands and the third due to give birth at any moment. Their paths cross at various Intervals during the film, involving them in situations that many viewers will be easily able to identify with. McKee, in particular,

At only 77 minutes long with the original theme tune and Matthew Broderick, who was once good in Ferris Bueller's Day Off and ... um ... well, little else, as the hero of the piece, Inspector Gadget was unanimously slated by US critics as being "shockingly awful" . lt seems the latest movie from those kind folks at Disney is one for the under-8 audience only, a good enough reason for previewing it I suppose. But it does beg the question why did they ruin a fantastic cartoon in the first place? Anyway let's deal with the so-called plot. Matthew Broderick plays a haphazard security guard who gets blown to bits by the evil, dastardly Claw (Rupert Everett ... sinking low after A Midsummer Night's Dream). The lovely Brenda (Joely Fisher), a scientist who is the object of Broderick's dreams, puts him back together with loads of metal bits that stick out (oo-er). Realism never being a strong-point of the cartoons in the first place, we'll skim over this

usually relegated to supporting roles, gives a breakthrough performance as Nadia, in a touching and difficult role . Wonderland, although undoubtedly a social realism film, does not dwell to any great extent on either negative or positive aspects of life for it's cha racters, though it incorporates effectively themes of dissatisfaction and loneliness, as well as happiness and contentment. Winterbottom, who also directed the award winning adaptation of Thomas Hardy's novel , Jude, avoids a cliched representation of family relationships, never bringing the entire family together. Yet his film is nevertheless an exploration of the family, with the extra relative be1ng the fast -moving city of London itself. This remarkable motion picture is accompanied by a dynamic and moving score created by The Piano composer, Michael Nyman, which contributes greatly to the tone of the film, and the emotional effect it will have on it's audience. Wonderland is an innovative and strangely moving film, which should be held up as a true example of the much talked about renaissance in British cinema and film production. Though it may not appeal to all, due to it's style of filming and lack of dramatic action. it will nevertheless bring a tear to the eye of many, with it's final message of quiet optimism. Low-key but well worth a look. Lucy Sacre

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bizarre plot for the time-being. Nevertheless crimefighting Inspector Gadget is born and he ... fights crime and gets Claw and wins the girl. Way-hey. Didn't see that one coming. I suppose you could go see this if you were really bored, and then ponder why they didn't cast someone with a ·longer chin to play Gadget. Childhood memories of Gadget are of a character with a slightly larger chin, not remotely resembling Broderick's hamster face and slightly cutesy, bumbling manner. lt doesn't bode well on chin alone. But I d1gress ... Yet again, the wonderful people at Wait's factory have felt the rather sadistic need to destroy brilliant cartoons with achingly awful live-action remakes (101 Dalmatians, George of the Jungle to name but a few). So take a stand. Don't go and see Inspector Gadget, and maybe they'll stop imposing films of this 'calibre' on us. Astrid Goldsmith

THE EVENT, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 01, 1999

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~event) one flew over the cuckoo's nest norwich theatre royal An impressive night was enjoyed by all who attended Norwich's Theatre Royal to witness the bawdy humour and sensitive drama of this production of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Non-conformist McMurphy, played by Danny Webb, arrives at a Psychiatric Hospital branded a psychopath by the prison authorities and succeeds in upsetting the bureaucratic system in the ward laid out by the matriarchal nurse (lsla Blair). The production does not place great emphasis on treatments such as lobotomy and EST, instead it focuses on McMurphy's strengthening and rejuvenating qualities, highlighted by his effect on the supposedly mute Ind ian Chief played powerfully by Mike McShane . Webb's portrayal of Randel Patrick McMurphy as a psychopath with a conscience is both touching and disturbing. Played by Jack Nicholson in the Oscarwinning film of the same name, McMurphy's character develops as the plot draws to its climax. His friendship with the Indian, Chief Bromdan

reveals tender and concerned feelings previously concea led by his crude and ca refree character. McShane's monologues as Chief Bromdan provide us with insights both into the politics of the ward and the minds of the mentally disturbed . The original novel was initially criticised for its apparent mockery of the mentally ill by adhering to stereotypes such as the outbursts of "f**k them all!" by an inmate who thinks that he is Christ being crucified and the patient who sees people who are not there . These are used to great comic effect in a similar way to the film Crazy People but do not detract from the serious content of the plot. The plot does not follow a regular linear narrative, using instead a montage collection of snapshots exploring ward life, culminating in a wild party and, ultimately, the death of two of the inmates. This adaptation of the novel by "merry prankster" Ken Kesey gives a new dimension in which to enjoy a sensitive, sensational and poignant production. Elin Jones & Gemma O'Donne l

abigail's party & ketch uea minotaur theatre company

sex <text> anthology, edited by emma ainger and zoe ell a williams There is a vogue at the moment for all things sexual in the literary world witness the publishing phenomenon of the Erotic Review. UEA have sensibly decided to capitalise on this with the release of the 10th in their series of texts, which is simply entitled Sex. Promising a "slice of sex in the real world ... [and] not the same old shag", Sex is a collection of erotic fiction, mostly short stories and poems, written by recent or current UEA students. A diverse range of topics is covered by the different authors, from autoerotic fixation, voyeu rism , bisexuality, and all permutations thereof. In particular there is a devastatingly funny story A Well Spent Sunday, by Stuart Henderson, about two adolescent boys and their discovery of pornography and masturbation . LApm, by Eroica Mildmay, is a tender and poignant look at sex and relationships. lt was perhaps a good idea to have some poetry, as this definitely adds to the diversity within the collection, after 40 pages of th rusting, pulsating, throbbing sweaty sex, a reprieve is in order. The poems are more playful and tackle their subject in

more subtle ways. Kris Siefken's Meat, the wry reportage of cocktail waiter, is on the funnier side; John McCullough 's Gentlemen Please is more serious in tone, an honest and candid treatment of gay cottaging. and Ramona Herdman 's poem, Hometime, was a touching look at adolescent sexuality. There is a lesser known literary prize given every yea r for the worst written account of sex in any literary work; and quite famous and illustrious novelists have won, not too happily though it has to be said. However the point is that sex in 1ts perfunctory physicality has alluded the best of them in its description: so, it's not surprising to find that Sex too stumbles and is in places prosaic and repetitive. lt is difficult to write 路good' erotic fiction without rehearsing all those worn out cliches, and some of the work in Sex clearly does move beyond such tired devices and manages to be both provoking and engaging; but, it remains a mixed bag: Sex just isn't all it's cracked up to be. Ayo Mansaray

uea symphony orchestra norwich cathedral Returning from their recent performance in Ipswich the UEA symphony orchestra come home, or rather to the Norwich cathedral. Playing in its sombre and austere surroundings the symphony put in a fine performance, featuring works by, Brahms, Thiirichen and Beethoven . The symphony opened with the intense and broody Tragic Overture by Brahms perhaps the cathedral IS the nght place after all. lt is one of those rousing and dramatic p1eces, full of sound and fury, that threatens to overwhelm the listener. Th1s shouldn 't be surpnsing as 1t was actually almost called Full of Tears by the composer. This gives you an idea of what I mean. The Concerto for Timpani by the lesser known German composer Werner Thiirichen was altogether a different breed. lt is an interesting piece; the kettledrums provide a constant rhythm, on which

the other instruments are layered. The solo on the timpani, played with temperance by Claire Brock in the third movement, was simply breathtaking. However the final piece, Beethoven's no7 in A, was the highlight of the evening. Originally premiered as The Battle Symphony this 1s work of pomp and revelry. Although quite a festive piece, the second movement I found qu1te morose and mournful, but sublime none the less. The symphony was conducted under the masterful hand wavmg brilliance of Sharon Choa. The UEA symphony played a like a bunch of seasoned professionals, and it is hard to believe that they are ordinary mortals like ourselves at UEA. They are good, so take the opportunity to see them when you can. Ayo Mansaray

THE EVENT, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 01, 1 999

Mike Leigh's comedy Abigail's Party was first performed in 1977, takes a biting look at the nouveau riche of the 70s, creating a sharply accurate portrayal of their pretensions and class difference. The play was originally devised from improvisation, producing a piece which is not only unpredictable but also naturalistic. Staged at UEA by the Minotaur Theatre Company it was a well rounded and enjoyable performance. The realistic set design revealed much about the lifestyle and personalities of the characters in its superfluous 70s extravagance. The garish clothing of t~e era was in glorious display, with floral prints and clashing colours covering every available body. No face escaped an excess of paint stick or ill suiting facial hair. These elements fused together recreated the decade that taste forgot, and drew the attention to the vulgarities of the characters' relationships. After a rather stilted opening, the actors settled into their roles and the performances gathered pace, propelled by Clare O'Shea's, who captured the character of Beve rley's ignorance and cruelty. The cast displayed a great talent for comic timing, which was vital to a play staged in one room for two hours. The humour of the play peaked with Beverley's memorable dance of seduction to the sounds of the Doors' Light My Fire. The three actresses were convincing in their contrasting roles, and in the methods they related to and reacted against the male characters. The sombre self realisation caused by the fina l death scene created a climax with gravity. For this was not a version that committed itself solely to the comic aspects of the text; in fact the play concluded on a thoughtful note concern ing the marital relationships shown. Overall a well staged if unspectacular production, demonstrating Minotaur's commitment to generating entertaining drama. Laura Bullock & Sarah Short .

Any reservations I had prior to watching this production centred largely around Berkoff and his now tarnished reputation . Sadly, these doubts about the playwright resonated throughout what was otherwise a first class performance. Kvetch is the term used to describe the unexpressed anger we all harbour, generated by an uncaring and superficial society. In the play, such emotion is expressed by one character, whilst the rest of the cast freezes, and remain oblivious to the rantings. Whilst generating the scope for much humour and laughter, contemporary society's hypocrisy is amply displayed by this unconventional use of interior monologue. lt was these themes of the play that the short film, which preceded the drama, amplified and embodied so appropriately. Ash Verjee's film it's What We Do and accompanying soundtrack aptly set the tone of this very modem drama. Perhaps the most startling scene was that in the central couple's marital bed. Demonstrating a com plete lack of communication, they simulate sex with each other whilst 'speaking' to completely different partners in their individual fantasies; the mature performances of Andrea Dyer and Rob Lyndhott lend weight to the potentially difficult scene. However, the power of such climatic scenes was perhaps diminished by Berkoff himself. Rather than applying his original idea solely to a domestic situation, he followed the characters from the dining table to the workplace and beyond, and thus diluted rather than intensified his assertions and threatened to bore the audience with its repetition. This could perhaps have been overcome by varying the pace and expression of the varying 'kvetchs', but unfortunately they were all delivered in a rather uniformly angry manner. However, these reservations did not detract from what was otherwise a thoroughly impressive production. Joanna Pawlik

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Set in the most well to do sections of Manhattan teenage society, writer/director Roger Kumble 's deliciously dark comedy is responsible for, in star Sarah Michelle Gellar's own words, the·greatest DVD masturbation scene of all time . The film charts the story of step-siblings Kathryn Merteuil (Gellar) and Sebastian Velmont (Gellar's I Know What You Did ... eo-star, Ryan Phillipe). Arrogant and rich to the point of despicableness, their sole aim in life is to wreck the lives of the people around them: him , by sleeping with timid debutantes before throwing them aside, and her, by ruining the precious reputations of the social elite they associate with. When virginal new student Annette Hargrave (played by Phillipe 's real life wife , Reese Witherspoon) appears on the scene, the challenge is made: if Sebastian can't seduce her, Kathryn wins his sports car; if he can , he gets to have Kathryn, anyway he wants . • Of course, problems arise when Sebastian goes all soppy and falls in love with Annette. Classic literature fans will realise that the story is not new, being a direct adaptation of the 1782 Choderlos de l..adis novel, Les Uaisons Dangereuses, probably better known as the Glenn Close film Dangerous Uaisons. There is the added complication of a fourth

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protagonist, the jail-bait Cecil e Caldwell (a show stealing Selma Blair) who is entertainingly deflowered by Sebastian whilst being encouraged to sleep "with as many people as possible" by a secretly jealous Kathryn. By the way its the spittle sharing, tongue heavy, lesbian kiss between Kathryn and Cecile that benefits most from the frame by fra me trickery afforded by DVD. So, polished performances all round from a cast who have the benefit of a sharp and well observed script. While the film reta ins a good sense of sexual tension between its characters, it promises a lot more than is actually seen (blast Sarah Michelle Gellar and her anti-nipple showing clause). it's certainly enjoyable, and a worthy purchase for all Gellar fans as she pouts her way through with consummate ease, but you do often get a sense that the whole thing is a bit like children playing at being grown ups. The ending, whilst predictable, has a satisfying sense of conclusion, although this seems a little pointless now it has been announced that a TV spin -off series is in the works. Overall, a stylish teenage thriller that tries very hard to push the genre to a darker, more sophisticated level. Mark Robins

ali g, innit

the word c**t once just so that the video would not be PG rated. Hmm, doesn 't seem as funny when it's written down . it's easy to create a character that humiliates public figures to get a cheap laugh (remember the cringeworthy Dennis Pennis?), but Ali G does it with some whiff of creativity (a wannabe gangster who thinks he's a West Coast rude-boy, but lives in gangland Berkshire) unlike the show that made him famous. You 've got to laugh at someone who insisted to the RUC chief that the troubles in Northern Ireland were caused by Catholics and Muslims fighting. Although saying that, he probably got that thought from reading the Daily Mail. The whole format is simple, with little new for the hardened Ali G fans, but to anyone else it's a great stocking filler for people sick of having to put up with Daisy Donovan's shit knob-gags before Ali comes on. Shakir Khan

£¥~miD®~

You've read the hype and seen the TV adverts, now $40 million and two and half years development time later we have the latest episode in the popular Rnal Fantasy series of role-playing games. What we 've got is one of the most cinematic games ever made, based around the story of Squall Leonhart, a young mercenary thrown into a world of war and magic and, 1n a new slant games such as these, love and betrayal. Yep, its the sort of thing blockbuster movies are made of. Astounding visuals and an orchestral soundtrack pump things along through a series of incredible edge of the seat set pieces, but this is where the game falls down.

final fantasy viii

Whilst the set pieces are breathtaking, the actual plot is a bit slow and linear compared to previous installments. The control system has been completely revamped to make it more involved, but I sometimes found it to be overly cumbersome. Don't be put off though. The game is massive, with plenty to see and do if you have the patience to search through the game world. Keep with it and you'll be rewarded with a · staggering achievement in interactive entertainment. Big enough to last you over the Christmas holidays. When you should be wortking. Mark Robins

£¥~miD®~ Capcom's latest thriller-adventure orgy of puzzles n' guns stomps into view in the form of Dino Crisis, a rather disappointing hybrid of a game wherein someone who looks like L..ara Croft shoots her way through a Jurassic Park plot in a game that plays like Resident Evil. Unfortunately in trying to clone all the above Capcom have created a rather uninspiring monster, devoid of the atmosphere, playability and scares which made the Resident Evil series such a success. More puzzle-oriented than its predecessors, the game soon becomes a tiring wander through endless corridors in search of enigmatic energy scientist Dr. Kirtk, who's done a bit of a Kurtz and turned his island research facility into a bloodbath by cloning dinosaurs from their toenail clippings and then let them eat everyone. If only he'd seen Mr Speilberg's film first. Minor innovations come in the form of dynamic camera swoops around the action when something interesting happens, which is an improvement over 'Resident's static viewpoints; and there is some rather nifty dinosaur animation based on the movements of real animals. Such improvements are, however, small fare compared to the sheer laziness appa_rent in the rest of the game's construction . Each room takes ages to enter owing to a handy little animation loading sequence showing you walking through a door (just

cruel intentions

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The only funny bit from Channels 4 's 11 o'clock Show makes an outing on video, meaning you don't have to wade through 15 minutes of lain Lee trying to persuade us he's Angus Deaton anymore. Boyakasha! Unless you're the type who thinks Hollyoaks is cutting edge you'll have probably seen this before. If you're a Hollyoaks fan though, bear in mind that this is supposed to be funny, meaning it contains jokes and is not a new series of Panorama. Essentially this video contains The 'G's best interviews from '11 o'clock with some unseen footage, which in itself does not justify buying the video, but helps the whole compilation gel together better, innit? Anyway, you'll be buying this vid for some of Ali G's great remarks, such as asking an art critic why "Van Gogh cut his knob off', saying to Tory MP Teddy Taylor "isn't leaving Jamaica out of Europe a bit racialist?", and deliberately saying

5177

THE EVENT,

~EDNESDAY,

dino crisis

to clarify what you're doing); plotexplaining set pieces seem purpose built to induce catatonic boredom in even the most vehemently dino-hating gunslinger; while each new colour coded puzzle makes it feel more Krypton Factor than crisis. The scenery, too, is completely lacking in the spooky atmosphere which added to games like Silent Hill • enter a grey corridor, shoot a raptor. Enter a grey room, shoot a raptor. And so it goes on. Apparently there's a good bit in the game's latter stages when the T Rex shows up and you get to "feel the anticipation increase when the screen shakes as the T Rex gets closer", although I didn't get that far 'cos I got bored of the whole thing days ago. it's possible that the arrival of the bigger and badder Dreamcast on the martket has diverted Mr Capcom's attention away from developing original new games on the trusty old Playstation, but quite why such an uninspired mish-mash of tried and tested ideas should be chucked out to appease the Christmas market is questionable. Okay, so it may have a really good ending but it's unlikely that many will get that far before begging the nice people at the shop to swap it for something else. There are many better ways to spend your time. Read a book or something. Steve Col/Ins

DECEMBER 01., 1999 ' ..

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~event

@~@uonoCID~ vw~ ®~

farscape farscape bbc2 mondays

18:25 Farscape is the latest big budget sci-fi show to hit our screens, but this time it comes with the advantage that it has been made by the Jim Henson company famous, of course, for bringing us The Muppet Show. Without a single Kerm it in site, Farscape starts when 20th century American astronaut John Crichton (Ben Browder) suddenly goes a bit wobbly during a test flight and is flung through a worm hole to the other side of the galaxy. Of course, when he arrives th ings don't go too well and he gets himself caught up in a big space battle. But, being the hero type, he manages to escape and joins up with a motley bunch of alien refugees on board a living ship, called Moya. That's the premise for the show, but what is it like? Being a character dnven show, the crew are a pretty stereotypical bunch of mis-

~~@murl@~

matched people and aliens; the strong, but attractive warrior woman, the big alien dude, the little alien dude (this guy's the rea l muppet - looks like he esca ped from Fraggle Rock) and the blue skinned alien woma n (steady on Captain Kirk). There's enough variety in the cast to keep the stories coming, and yes, like all new 1V shows you have to keep watching to figu re out the bigger, unfolding storyline ru nning in the background throughout the series (Baby/on 5 has a lot to answer for). The show itself looks very nice with some impressive sets and costumes, and the effects are just as good as any other show on te levision. The whole thing has been fi lmed in Austra lia, but the Australian accent that all the extras seem to sport doesn't quite fit in with the show, plus I found it extremely irritating when all the bad guys spoke with perfect English accents even to the point of Crichton slipping into an upper class tone of English as part of a disguise to make himself look bad. Come on America, this accent thing

simply doesn't wash anymore. Jim Henson's creature workshop, which to be fai r, is the sel ling point of the show, has once again produced some rema rka ble animatronic creatures, but they sti ll look like machines, and it seemed to make the show look slightly dated when compared to the computer graphic trickery employed by most 1V and films today. Overall, not bad, and it could be pretty good if the show manages to keep an interesting background story running through, but we've seen all the characters before in Star Trek and Baby/on 5. The sci-fi television vogue these days seems to be more human based - Buffy, Angel, Xena, X-Files whilst the space shows are starting to fade. Maybe Farscape has caught the trend just at the right stage, heralding a a return to the more space based programmes; but unfortunately, it just seems a bit too much like trying to resurrect a fading format with ultra sophisticated puppets. Mark Robins

uwo

@~@ITOUDCIDU f\Yl~ @~

buffy the vampire slayer

soaps

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So, what's going on in Albert Square at the moment then? Well, there is the wedd1ng of Walford 's would-be tycoon lan Beale to the stunning Melanie looming in the distance .. . but just how fa r in the distance is the momentous quest1on. Ever since Brighton, Melanie has been having second though ts and we al l saw how she broke down in tea rs when trying on her wedd ing dress. The short term future brings Mel's request to lan that the wedding is postponed which is especially bad news for lan when little Lucy IS taken seriously ill at the same time. When lan catches Mel and her ex Steve in a compromising embrace he begins to wonder if she is going to stick around at all. As much as I'm sure we all hate lan he doesn't really deseNe all this. Let's hope that whether it's with Mel or not, lan starts the millennium on a high note! Mel's good friend Lisa is also having troubl es in the love department at the moment. Her problem is not co ld feet , howeve r; on the co ntrary she is desperate to make it work with Phil and just recently it has looked as if he might make the effort also. But alas, with news that Kathy will be returning to the Square for her son 's wedding Phil begins to, shall we say, 'bottle' out! Soon abandoned by all those he loves, it is dastardly Dan (yes, the love-rat-home-wrecker we all know and love) that stands by and supports Phil , filling the Grant-figure of the flat. Why is he back? Well, baggage reclamation, both emotional and physical, seem to be the case; and if only she cou ld be found, Dan would love to rec laim Carol at the same time.

Lastly, there is the little madam Janine to look out for who, on discovering that Frank has every intention of following Peggy out of Walford, begins to kick up more of a stink than ever imaginable. Even when Frank and Peggy offer to buy a flat in the 'Square to return to every now and then, Janine is still not happy. Cou ld she ever be is the question!?! Well , perhaps so, as when Jamie begins to show an interest in her, tells her he doesn't want her to go and kisses her, Janine decides she will be staying in Walford no matter what...we say don't do it Jamie! There's much sorrow in Emmerdale this week wi th Liam 's funeral. Di 'dickhead' Spalding is back on the trail of Zoe and Chris after their attendance at the seNice. However, things might be looking up for Zoe as there is word of a homosexual couple, Nicky and Ricky, arriving in the village. Mandy and Paddy take on new lodger Lyn, who is sick of her student digs. When thi ngs cou ldn't become more bli ssfu l for the newlyweds, it all fa lls to pieces when they receive some bad news. Kelly's jealousy soars even higher though because of their wea lth and cosy lifestyle: "Don't matter though luv, Roy still loves yer" ... and he wants you to have his baby - married life is becoming a real chore for this cockney vixen. Poor Ashley is still lusting after Bernice, who only has eyes for her womanising fiance, Gavin. However Diane, Bernice's mother, is wise to his unfaithful antics, while also nurturing the pulsing libido of Pollard and Turner. Me/ani Davies, Kate Wenlock, Gemma Catchpole

W£DN ESDAY,JnECEMBER 01, 1999

buffy the vampire slayer bbc2 thursdays & sunday

18.4 5 Thankfu lly, the BBC has seen sense (along with some overwhelming fan pressure), and brought back the best show on 1V. Now you can once again enjoy your weekly dose of Buffy, this time with the added pleasure of an uncut repeat for Buffy purists late on a Sunday evening (essential post-pub viewing). For those not in the know, what we have is one of the sassiest television series of the moment, mixing the high school elements of Beverley Hills 90210 with the supernatural overtones of the X- Files . With sharp, witty scripts and clever storylines that wind the ir way through the whole series, BTVS has firmly established itself with a devoted, and thankfully, not too geeky fan

base, and now is the perfect time to join the crowd. Starring FHM favourite Sarah Michelle Gellar, and that bloke from the Gold Blend coffee ads, the cast is the usual crowd of overly pretty Va lley girls and high school studs, but they're all drawn and acted so well that you can't help loving them anyway. There's plenty to look forward to in this season as bad vampires Spike and Druscilla slowly build up to a spectacular showdown with Buffy and her band of faithful slayerettes, and look out for a neat twist in the plot as a former good guy goes bad. Full of fresh ideas, wonderful plots and funny one-liners, it won't be long before the show gets enough of a following to warrant a move to BBC1. My advice is to jump on the bandwagon now, fall in love with the show's beautiful cast, and enjoy the ride. Mark Robins

DDDo~ mruo~

hippies In the Sixties, right, everybody dressed up a bit wierd and grew th eir hair and took drugs an d stuff and it was reeeally funny , and now on BBC 2 they've had thi s great idea where they get a bunch of people and put them in these long wigs and they, like, pretend to be hippies and make jokes about having beards and peace and stuff and it's the best thing on telly honest. Not a monumentally ill advised balls-up of a sitcom attempting to lampoon a generation which hasn 't been funny or relevant since Charl ie Manson lost th e plot. Considering it's written by Father Ted creators Arth ur Mathews and Graham Linehan you'd be forgiven for expecting a bit of cha rm, perhaps some properly realised cha racters and maybe even a touch of that wit stuff, but alas this sorry affair possesses none of the above. Sally Phillips as the beard-clad Jill Sprint fails to inject any of Smack the Pony's freshness, but then who co uld when the very premise of the series is quite so toe-curli ngly crap? Embarassing. Steve Col/ins

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the essential guide to what's going on in norwich over the coming fortnight

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event horizon: uoDouu Shakespeare In love wednesday, december 01 14.30 Popular demand brings a return of Tom Stoppard's comedy to the cinema. An adaptation of Shakespeare's life story with comedy, subtle literary references and cross-dressing, this Oscar-winning film is one for all the family. romance wednesday, december 01: 17:45; thursday, december 02: 17:45 & 20:15 A powerful French film about a woman's sexual awakening. The main character, Marie, is disillusioned with her sex life although she still loves her husband. She sleeps with whoever she can in an attempt to keep her love for her husband alive. This film is extremely explicit and will shock you into questioning common perceptions of sexual practices and desires. forgive and forget wednesday, december 01, 20:15 The relationship with two best mates (John Simm and Steve John Shephard) is threatened by a girl 1n this new movie from Aisling Walsh which features much fresh faced British talent. theory of flight monday, december 06 to thursday, december 09 Helena Bonham Carter and Kenneth Branagh star in this dark and movmg portrayal of a young woman, confined to a wheelchair by a rare disease who is desperate to lose her virg1n1ty. The man who drove with mandela friday, december 03 and monday, december 06 : 20:15 Documentary drama, about Cecil Williams a freedom fighter and gay theatre director. In 1962 Nelson Mandela crossed South Africa posmg as Williams chauffer beyond silence sunday, december 05 :17:00 A daughter uses sign language to med1ate between her two deaf-mute parents in this German film the ring sunday, december 05: 19:30 H1tchcock classic set in the world of boxing. Which focuses on the conflict of 'one round' Jack Sandler who finds h1s nval in the ring 1s also after his wife. chance or coincidence fnday, december 10 at 17:45 and 20:15 through to thursday, december 16 A beautiful and romantic drama about a dancer who finds love after a failed career and marriage. Her new husband and son are drowned and a philosophy professor tries to help her get over her loss by filming her as she retraces their last moments together. The professor becomes increasingly obsessed w1th the dancer, but must hide hiS feelings in order to help her 1n her grief. jack frost saturday, december 11, 14:30

Lamentable offering starring Michael Keaton as ... a snowman.

the blalr witch project saturday, december 11 through to thursday, december 16. Cinema City jumps on the bandwagon and shows the second most overly-hyped film of the year. south sunday, december 12: 17:00 Classic shakleton documentary documenting his attempt to cross Antarctica via the North Pole. Introduced by film archivists and also has piano accompaniment.

the mlsadventures of margeret sunday, december 12 19:30 Screwball comedy starring Parker Posey as an unhappily married novelist in pretentious Manhatten. tarzan friday, december 17, 14:30 Latest hit Disney adaptation of boy who grows up in the jungle and meets the lovely Jane (voiced by Minnie Driver.) east is east friday, december 17, 17:45 Manchester Indian family drama . About a father, Puri who constntly clashes with hiS offspnng over their choices in life. Very funny film also starring Eastenders doctor, J1mi M1stry. a la place de couer fnday, december 17, 20:15 Tragic story of a 16 year Clim and her boyfnend Baby. Baby is accused of rape just as Clim discovers she is pregnant. Set in modern day Marseille, this is an excellent film from Robert Guediguin, maker of Marius and Jeanette.

she's all that thursday, december 02, 19:00 Not the most original mov1e ever made, but still a box office hit in America, She's All That 1s a reworkmg of the claSSIC teen mov1e make-over-thegeek-and-fall-in-love plot. Like the recent release American Pie, th is IS a feel -good film w1th gorgeous young actors, a Jangly soundtrack mcluding Sixpence-none-the-ncher's Kiss Me, and a happy ending. waking ned friday, december 03, 21:00 An essentially small screen story which didn't reafly live up to the hype when on General release, but still one worth watch1ng. Set in the Irish countryside (actually filmed on the Isle of Man!) th1s is a gentle comedy following the adventures of the villagers of Tully as they try to keep the lottery money won by the recently deceased Ned. Their antics become more and more farc1ca1 as they desperately try to convince the lottery inspector that Ned 1s still alive,

culminating in a nude motorbike race! it has been said that this film owes a lot to 'Whisky Galore' but is still enjoyable in its own right.

lock, stoek and two smoking barrels sunday, december 05, 19:00 The hit film of 1999, this superb Brit-flick is exciting, dangerous, sexy, cool and very funny. Rimed in London's Bankside and starring the cream of British actors, 'Lock, stock.. ' is a tale of gangsters, gambling and violence with amazing twists in the plot and an excellent soundtrack. the buttoners monday, december 06, 18:30 Six thought-provoking stories woven together, despite their different time and locations. the opposite of sex tuesday, december 07, 21:00 Although it's quite worrying to see Wednesday from The Addams Family as a peroxide femme-fatale, Christina Ricci holds this film together with remarkable panache. Unusually, it is th1s strong female character who leads the action, combinmg seduction, theft and deception for her own enjoyment. austln powers: the spy who shagged me thursday, december 09, 19:00 Everyone knows the catch-phrases by now, and they are no different in this second instalment of Powers' shaggadelic world. If you have seen the first Austin Powers film you w111 know the format, the jokes and the plot, but it stHI manages to be hilarious the second t1me round because no one does it better than Mike Myers. existenz friday, december 10, 21:00 Another modern film cash1ng in on technology fever, but with an actual plot which makes it accessible and enjoyable. Jenn1fer Jason Leigh and Jude Law are thrown mto hiding together when Leigh's add1ct1ve VIrtual reality game sparks ant1-game activists to attempt to assassinate her. it's a wonderful life sunday, december 12, 19:00 Probably best known in popular culture m the 1990s as the film that Lister was obsessed w1th 1n Red Dwarf. Th1s class1c film is sentimental, fantastical and utterly unrealistiC, but must be seen as part of cinema history. the wedding singer tuesday, december 14, 21:00 This fluffy film set in the 1980s could be annoy1ng With Adam Sandler's imtat1ng drawl and Drew Barrymore as a d1tzy American wa1tress, but in fact it is sweet and funny. Both Sandler and Barrymore are engaged to other partners, but after a chance meeting at a weddmg where they are both working they gradually realise that they are meant for each other.

the world Is not enough Yes, he's back with more women, bigger guns and badder baddies than ever before. As always, the plot is totally unbelievable: but that is the appeal of 007. This is Pierce Brosnan's third Bond movie and he seems to have settled well into the part which could almost have been written for him. The rest of the cast is also very strong although many critics have attacked Denise Richard's portrayal of Dr Christmas Jones as being a return to the wooden 'eye candy' of earlier Bond films. British stars such as Robert Carlyle and John Cleese are criminally under-used, but this leaves plenty of screen time for Brosnan to shine. Not the best Bond movie ever made, but as part of British and film history 'the world is not enough' is sure to make a killing at the box office this Christmas. the sixth sense Given the current trend of horror movies such as The Blair Witch Project and Carrie - The Rage you could be forgiven for wondering how this could be any different from anything you've seen before, and indeed what Bruce Willis is doing in such a movie! However, The Sixth Sense' is much more than a horror film . Yes, there are ghosts and dead bodies hanging from the ceiling, but the real focus of the 4 film IS the psychological effect that the chilling plot has upon the audience. The plot centres around 8 year old Cole Sear (Haley Joel Osment) who sees "dead people". W1ll1s IS his psychologist who becomes drawn into the mystery and discovers things about himself and the world of the supernat~,~ral that he could never hope to explain. lt is a welcome change to see Bruce Willis in such an emotiOnally challenging role and, somewhat surprisingly, he pulls it off very well. The film's plot is gripping until the end and will have a far more profound effect on the audience than any mindless Stephen King adaptation. fight club

Rght Club IS the "must-see" film of 1999, starnng ~ Brad Pitt, Helena Bonham Carter and Edward Norton (see essential film)

happy texas

Happy Texas is a light-hearted comedy follow1ng two convicts who are mistaken for gay beauty pageant organisers. Sound ridiculous? Well it is, but the film still manages to be funny and touching in all the nght places without trying too hard as can sometimes be the case with Hollywood comedies. it won 't change your life, but it equally won't offend you and will ser'ld you out of the cinema smiling. Happy Texas is "sweet and hilarious", good clean fun for a mindless evening out.

tarzan Still hanging on hoping to catch the final few children not to have seen the latest D1sney animated blockbuster. Tarzan is as I am sure you are all aware the man of the jungle who has grown up amongst the greenery w1th his an1mal friends .. .when along comes Jane. We can all guess what happens next. Happy endmg anyone?

use our searchable listings database at www.concrete-online.co.uk ..E&~~Y; '

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american pie M1ldly amus1ng gross-out comedy . You'll never look at apple p1e in the same way. Worth seeing alone for the line "'What's my name bitch?'"

children and animals, as the kid in this blows Bruce off the screen.

the world is not enough Be the first to see Bond 's return to the big screen, and be m1ght1ly scared by Den1se R1chards ' eyebrows.

17:10, 18:50, 20:15 and Saturday lates at 23:15. What can I say? V1sually stunn1ng, darkly hilanous w1th a stellar performance from Edward Norton, Fight Club 1s tru ly unmissable. See essential film

the blair witch project When w1ll 1t all end? Go away! In case you haven't .,heard about 1t, 1t's about some stupid people runnmg around a stupid forest being scared by stupid sticks. fight club Bloody bnlilant! One of the funn1est, most compellmg films th1s year . NOT too v1olent so don't be put off by the cnt1cs. Go see 1t! See essential film ed tv For once Norw1ch seems to have managed to show a film w1th1n a week of it's nat1onal release. Largely overlooked m the US due to The Truman Show ons, th1s IS well worth a look.

the world is not enough ..-Jolly on the hour Three c1nemas showing the same film! Which to choose? Hmmm ... sofa-l1ke cha1rs, dnnk holders (previously non -ex1stent 111 Norw1ch) and a Ben and Jerry's stand ... truly a difficult choice. See the new Bond here and your arse doesn't ache when you get up. Plus the employees are frighteningly happy (like D1sneyworld on speed ). Rev1ewed on page 15. the sixth sense dady

fight club da1ly

the astronaut's wife daily fnday, 21:30 saturday to thu rsday 14:15, 16:40, 19:20, 21:45 Johnny Depp and Charilse Theron star m th1s thnller about an astronaut who returns to Earth w1th a passenger mside him. He impregnates his wife and all hell breaks loose when the foetus turns out to be not of this world. the blair witch project fnday, 22:00; saturday to thursday 22:15 Enough already! fanny and elvis saturday to thursday 17:45 Not a b10p1c of The Kmg but a comedy starring Ray Wmstone and Kerry Fox. Met a lukewarm response from the cntics, but hey what do they, er, we know. tarzan saturday to thursday

12:10, 13:20, 14:30, 15:40, 16:50, 19:10 Tarzan IS recreated w1th a tiny lo1ncloth and a huge ch1n. Very funny in parts, but be warned: don't go see 1t when there IS a nsk of children 1n the audience. Scream1ng, crying, fartmg brats do not a fun mov1e make.

randon hearts fnday at 21:40 saturday to thursday 14:10 (not wednesday) ,

17:30, 21:10 .

12:45, 13:30. 15:30, 16:10, 18:10. 18:50, 20:35 and 21:30.

Harnson Ford and Knstm Scott-Thomas star 1n this romantic bore-rest.

A surpnsmgly good Bruce WilliS film (If rather Silly). The one exception to the rule never work with

american pie

Id\,!

'JG [

!<S>

~J~n

star wars episode one saturday to thursday 11:45, 14:50 St1ll around after all these months. See 1t 1f you have nothmg better to do with your lives (apart from buy1ng plastiC models of the characters and keeping them in the1r ongmal packmg ... you sad bastards).

~ aoo[Jili]

01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10

east is east friday at 21:00 saturday to thursday, 13:10, 15:50, 18:30, 20:50. Finally showing in Norwich, this latest comedy from Film Four has rece1ved almost unanimous pra1se. Stars the doctor from Eastenders, m hopefully a more chansmat1c role. ed tv friday at 20:50 saturday to thursday, 13:10, 15:50, 18:30, 20:50 Hopefully 1t will become the hit it deserved to be 1n the US.

©Du0C?u

the sixth sense £3,277,054 east is east £1,062,977 fight club tarzan blair witch • • amer1can p1e random hearts ed-tv onegin deep blue sea

£962,504 £754,412 £384,858 £379,970 £308,367 £290,984 £118,258 £114,879

happy texas

fight club 0 < "1fQ)W.V 1fll i:fi' _.,,.~

saturday to thursday, 12:20, 14:40, 17:20, 19:40 A boy in America recently burnt his penis in a scalding hot apple p1e. See why. Masturbation w111 never be the same agam.

l'!l@

-1.

Dav1d F1ncher IS God . Following on the success of Seven, Fight Club is one of the most visually stunning, accomplished films of the year boast1ng impress1ve performances from Edward Norton, Brad P1tt and Helena Bonham-Carter. Norton plays the Narrator who meets Pitt's Tyler Durden on a fi1ght back from a business trip. The two connect and set about forming fight club after a fight between the two provides them with the release they need to escape the drudgery and matenailsm of their lives. Absolutetly fantastiC!

J'HE EVENT, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 01, 1999

Two escaped convicts get m1staken for gay beauty pageant di rectors and get roped in to judgmg the Little Miss Fresh-Squeezed Beauty Pageant. Starring Jeremy Northam, Steve Zahn and William H Macy, Happy, Texas performed very well at th1s year's Sundance Festival and, though vergmg on slightness, w1ll no doubt prove to be a welcome distraction from trawling Harvey Nichols for that ideal Christmas present.

~event)

wednesday:

friday:

superfly mojo's - club night Beats to get funked-out to.

e legance mojo's - club n1ght Uplifting garage to give you that 'Fnday feeling'!

CIVIlisatiOn. satisfaction hys - club night Swmg and house. Sound like an odd combination? Try it and see.

tfi balearic beats liquid - club night The ideal tonic to the tirade of Seventies nights favoured by Norwich clubs (and clubbers!), strip off, sweat and enjoy. rammed ikon - club night Any excuse to "get down and boogie" to the sounds of ABBA and Sister Sledge in the relaxed and fnendly atmosphere at Ikon. Pints are only 80p and all other drinks £1.20. pure swing manhattan's - club night Get oiled and ready for another night of smoooooth tunes. wide open space zoom - club night Norwich's most intimate venue hosts a night of fine alternative dance and indie pop. 22:00 - 02:00 q-tip kafe da - club night Under the guise of a launch party for Q-Tip's (extribe called Quest} new album, this is actually an excuse for a night of vodka-fuelled "depravity with some excellent hip-hop and free posters etc of QTip. Get there early (it opens at 8} to take advantage of the FREE vodka while stocks last.

thursday: @@©@ITUUfiD@[? @~ the nimmo twins norwich playhotJse - comedy This duo went down a storm at this years Edinburgh Festival, regularly selling out their show, usefully entitled High Calibre Sketch Comedy. And this is just what it is, with critics all over the shop tripping over themselves in praise. Catch them at the Playhouse Theatre before they get too big. £10/£8

soundpsplash waterfront - gig The Contemporary Music Society present an evening of fine music. See the feature on page 9 . itm mojo's - club night it's nearly the weekend so make way for the arrival of the townies and the change on the dance-floors of Norwich from retro to trance, techno and house. No-one does it better than Mojo's. lcr disco uea • club night What can I say about the LCR disco? it's a cliche in itself, the music is pants and the bar queues are horrendous. We love it. "value night" liquid - club night The drinks are as cheap as ever (£1.20} but with the added bonus of having the pick of the Norwich talent?! Hmmmm ... the monastry of sound rick's place - club night Try dressing up as a monk and see if the bouncers will let you in . charty handbaggy the loft • club night Popular gay night playing t~e latest top tunes.

gorgeous manhattan's - club night Get your hot-pants and glitter out for a n1ght of house 'til 4 a.m . elite ikon • club night If you can get over the shock of paying full-price for drinks (the clubs don't need us at the weekend! } this night of chart music mixed in with dance-floor classics IS well worth a visit. hy times hys - club n1ght More chart music, but more expensive to get in. Not that you're shallow enough to let that make up your mind between Hys and lkon .... are you?! ian brown uea- gig After hav1ng to cancel h1s last scheduled appearance at UEA due to the small snag of being banged up, King Monkey returns to try and persuade us that his voice isn't abysmal, honest. £12.50 the thatcher years waterfront - club night Bask in the memory of The Most Ev11 Women Ever To Live In The History Of The World Ever by having a dance to the tunes of the decade she spent ru ining the lives of millions of people. £3.00 electra theatre royal One of the greats of Greek tragedy, Sophocles doesn 't disappoint with this gripping tale of Electra's vengence against her mother and step-father for her father's murder. £5 (Cone £4} andy robinson norwich playhouse - comedy Since his debut at the Glastonbury Festival of 1993, Robinson has supported acts such as Jack Dee, Lee Evans and Mark Lamarr. £7.50

mojo's - club night More chart music. dance club nck's place - club night Take a wild guess. (see above!) priya mitchell st andrew's hall - gig Recently described as "One of the foremost violinists of her generation ", Pnya Mitchell plays three beautiful works of the Romantic era by Glinka, Brahms and Dvorak. Th1s cosmopolitan array of composers provides a varied and moving programme. Tickets from £7

sunday: @®©®ITUU@@l7 @~ sunday service manhattan 's - club night Worship the beer, pray to the bouncers to let you take your drink outside, kneel at the divine porcelain altar. lt is Sunday, after all. international club fraser hall, 59 bethel st - club night A chance to experience diverse cultures and share your own as the international club throw another bash.

extra smooth sunday the garden house - clu b night Live drum & bass, scratching and instrumentation . free

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'let 's do lunch do' sainsbury centre Fast-breaker for the brave souls taking part 1n the 24-hour fast in aid of Link Africa. chill 'em out jazz cafe the hive - gig This increasingly popular event is the ideal place to forget that the week has only just begun . Relax to the sounds of jazz and performance poetry while soothed by melodic jazz. £2 the underground mojos - club night Once again Mojo's opens its doors to those who enjoy all things lo-fi . Plus you won't get anything like Meltdown 's bizarre inclusion of Josh Wink. sanctuary ikon - club night Possibly the most varied offering on Norwich 's pulsating dance floors this week. carwash liquid - club night A night of all things kitsch and Seventies. Dress to impress in your best flares and frilly shirts - if the DJ 's feeling particularly generous he might even give you a few free drinks for your efforts.

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richard wood band norwich arts centre - gig One of Canada's finest musicians visits Norwich to get out his fiddle and play us all some nice tunes as he step dances. Worth seeing just for the amusing possibility that he might fall over. 20:00

saturday: @®©®ITUU@®l7 @~ meltdown waterfront • club night Take a deep breath - indie, newpop, alternative dance, big beats, hip hop and "a ton of break beats". Got all that? £3.00 top 50 disco uea - club night You, the student public get to choose your top 50 all time songs for this extra special event in the LCR. Bookies have stopped taking odds on Robbie Williams having umpteen undeserved entries in the top ten £2.75 re:fresh - ikon • club n1ght Forget for the night that you are languishing in the back-waters of East Anglia, dance to Ikon 's club anthems and pretend that you are back in

THE EVENT, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 01, 1 999

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~event)

.rammed ikon - club n1ght Is it just me that goes simply because of the title? dry run t ime - club ni ght Norwich's newest, biggest, cost the most to build nightclub inv1tes you to come and test the facilities in this pre - launch launch . You 'll be there to help test the new facilities, but there'll be all you 'd expect in tanta lising tunes. And the evening ends with a fire dnll, wh1ch makes a change. For more information cal l 0870 607 8463.

balearic beats liquid - club night Forget the Siberian winds, concrete architecture and web-footed locals and lose yourself in lbiza-inspi red revelry.

slinky hys - club n1ght Free entry w1th a student card and cheap dnnks. Who ca res what the mus1c's like?

porphet vs wax magic waterfront - club n1ght "Monthly masterful mayhem nppmg the riffs on the drum & bass t1p ." See not to be m1ssed below. £3.50 b4 11pm I £4.00 after

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student night liquid - club n1ght If you can res1st the offer of dnnks for only £1 then 1t may be worth stay1ng sober to appreciate the excellent reperto1re of dodgy chat-up lmes usually found at th is testosterone-fuelled meatmarket. LINE OF THE WEEK: "I really l1ke your ha1r. can I suck 1t?" I have only one question for the person responsible for thiS line- "WHY?I" over-easy moJo·s - club n1ght .-. ·10ther excellent n1gl1t of gawgc <ll MoJo·s. bjorn again uea g1g They may be IJiatant rip-off mercl1ants. but il means that we t1ave an opportun~ty to 11ear ABBA hits live ancl. JUCigmg by tlle1r repeated success ilt the UEA, they arc pretty goocl at do1ng 1t.

wednesday: superfly mojo·s - club n1ght You may think that thiS 1s an escape from retro , but MoJo's are Just too clever. In a subtle tw1st, they've created a n1ght of 19 70s msp1red funk . That fooled you . didn't 1t?

pure swing manhanan 's - club n1ght Don 't worry , the music's pure - you don't have to be.

ian macmillan arts centre - g1g lan MacMillan IS the poet m res1dence of Barnsely. football club. and frequently appears on Rad10 Four. H1 s new sl1ow. called I Found this Shirt v1s1ts the arts centre for cheery n1ght of observational verse. 20:00

thursday:

lcr disco & fashion show uea - club n1gl1t A IJumper n1ght of entertamment with UEA's very own fash1on show preceed1ng the JOllity that IS the LCR. Moclels; make sure you get changed before pukmg all over those borrowed clothes . in the mix mojo's - club n1gl1t Yes, 1t's that t1me of week aga1n. Pilck ilway your platforms and gl1tter and prepare for another hard n1ght of techno, trance and house . rick 's place - club night club n1ght. The usua l Rick's Place welcome.

charty handbaggy the loft - club night Another chance to experience the atmosphere at th1s long-runn1ng gay night. absolution waterfront - club night Some more Ibiza dance anthems, in association With the UEA LGB Society. £2.50adv (NUS) six characters in search of an author uea studio theatre - play Performed by fmal year drama students, this production is hailed as a cla ssic of modernism. it questiOns all our preconceptions and stereotypes of what theatre IS through a re- evalua tion of values and leaves the audience disorien tated and absorbed m the drama and 1ssues. 19:30 until Sunday, Decem ber 12 Tickets : £6.00 (£3.50 for students) wyrd sisters theatre royal - play (adapted by stephen bnggs) "Terry Pratchett takes Shakespeare's Macbeth and turns 1t up unt1l the knob comes off ... Th 1s bnlliant adaptation of the book from the D1scworld senes IS entertam1ng and dramatiC whilst keep1ng the recogn 1sable traits of Pratchett's un1que sense of llumour. £6 tConc £51 hilary james and simon mayor arts centre - g1g Wl1at w1th al the b1g up IJang1ng mass1ve stylee mus1c ilround ton1ght you m1ght fancy somet111ng a b1t more la1c1 back. Ti11s cluo·s mus1c 1s a IJiend between folk and class1cal, as they play mus1c from V1vald1 to mandlom orchestras.

friday: fashion show uea- gig If you coulcln't make 1t to last n1gh ts show1ng, come to see a lot of people dancmg around 1n clothes from some of Norwich's trend1est outlets. £2.75

ti me launch time - club night Party time comes to the new Rive rside development 1n Norwich. Billed as the club of the future, only time will tell whet her this proves to be true . Fingers crossed, but with a line up including Jon Kelly, DJ at Cream, it seems a pretty safe bet. elite ikon - club night it's Friday. You must go clubbmg. it's th e law. gorgeous manhattan 's - club night They obv1ously didn't have the ca libre of their punters 1n mind when Manhattan's decided to name Friday n1ght 'Gorgeous·. The music , on the other hand, is top class . the insane pam 's house christmas special wa terfront - club nigh t Guest DJ s m the fantastiC Waterfront Wil l provide a great n1ght ou t, but what's Christmassy about that? I'm hop1ng for an appearance from Santa - 1t does say "Special Guests" on tile flyer ' £9.00 (N US) lenny beige norw1ch arts centre - comedy Who says noth1ng good comes out of Norfolk? Lenny Page is the <1nt1dote to such cyn1c1sm. Born 1n Hunstantaon. the heart of the East Anglian R1v1era. Lenny rose to fame ils the reg1ons top vanety com1c, w1th as many w1gs ilS he t1as one liners. Before we put you off. Lenny 1s a p1ss take, ilnd IS well worth going to see 1n ris ·native' region.

saturday:

scratch perverts norwich schoo l of art & des1gn student bar - g1g Hip hop finery and the men who scratched for James Lavelle VISit Norwich.

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@©©@:fiDr,w@rr @@ Prophet make a welcome return to the dancefioors of Norwich for their final night of the term, and this time it' ll be bigge r and better than ever before. Prophet have teamed up with fellow drum & bassers Wax Magic to bring a night of thundering beats to the grateful punter sick of retro and cheese. Wax Magic will be offering a harder edge to proceedings, taking the tunes darker and deeper undergrou nd. Prophet will provide their usual blend of no nonsense drum & bass, in their trademark no attitude, chi ll ed out environment. Prophet honcho Tom Harberd promises a night of ·'bangin' tunes and a good t1me to be had by all". You can't say fa irer than that really.

~event)

•• •

4 retro active uea - club night Retro returns with another tribute band, this time 8eatles mockers the Silver 8eatles. Why they aren't gold is anybody's guess, but there you go. ikon club night More of this week's chart and dance releases.

tfi mojo's - club night You might as well venture out to Mojo's, what else are you going to do on campus at the weekend? Play 'spot the person' on the way to the UFO which will, naturally, be shut? rick's place - club night Alcohol, music and dim lighting. What more could you ask for on a Saturday night? meltdown waterfront - club night See last week, but with the upstairs addition disturbing addition of "The best when it comes to nasty ghetto house, acid tracks and beats". Not sure if I like the sound of that. £3.00

sun day @l®©®UiJil[Q)@[J' ~ sunday service manhattan's - club night If you have the energy on a Sunday, make the effort to attend the service this week. international club fraser hall, 59 bethel st - club night A chance to experience diverse cultures and share your own as the international club throw another bash. £2 extra smooth sunday the garden house - club night Uve drum & bass, scratching and instrumentation. free the Christmas ball bamham broom golf club The first in a very long line of parties this season. Including a three-course meal and a live jazz band & disco, this is the perfect warm-up for the next month's merriment.

mon day @l®©®UiJil!ID@[J' jl~ sanctuary ikon - club night Ikon have found the solution! A combination of chart AND retro! God, they're good. carwash liquid - club night Free entry and drinks for £0.70 until 10:00. Leave any pretensions of coolness at home and just enjoy the great atmosphere and music. lightning seeds uea- gig They wrote Three Uons. Need I say more? the underground mojos - club night More scuzzy guitar from the wonderful world of alternative music.

tuesday:

plus the chance to get plastered on cut-price drinks AN D win a Xmas hamper. You lucky lucky people! student night liquid - club night You've all already been there, make up your own minds live in the hive - christmas karaoke uea - club night Come and try to win one hundred English pounds merely by exerting your tonsorial talents on all those classic Christmas songs. The one who sings Gary Glitter's effort wins four months in prison. slinky hys - club night Don't they ever get sick of us students?

the thatcher years waterfront - club night Play "spot the mullet" to the sound of Eighties chart hits. £4/£3.50/£3.00 elegance mojo's - club night Uplifting garage - sounds rather dangerous but I'm sure it will be great. gorgeous manhattan's - club night it's open until 4:00 am and serves alcohol. elite ikon - club night More contemporary dance anthems.

wednesday @l®©®UiJil@@[j' jl~ superfly mojo's - club night Regular funk night at Norwich's most "intimate" venue. balaeric beats liquid - club night Large it Ibiza stylee to the riffs on the tip then, time permitting, roll a phat one and chill wit your homies. rammed ikon - club night Good God people. What are you doing with your lives, demand some variety, demand something different. pure swing manhattan's - club night Put on some black lycra and false eyelashes, it's time to swing again like you did last week.

if you have a gig, club night, play, reading, s.ock darning event you 'd like to tell the lovely folk of uea about, just put the details on a piece of paper and drop them into the concrete office so that we can Include them In this very listings section.

hys the loft manhattans ikon liquid the waterfront mojos zoom concept rick's place canary cue club abc cinema cinema City ode on maddermarket norwich arts centre norwich playhouse theatre royal uea studio norwich puppet theatre king of hearts uea union ents norwich castle museum scoot talking pages

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c listings written and compiled by adam chapman, elin jones and Iuke tumer. all details correct at time of going to press

thursday

•• •

itm mojo's - club night Confused by all the jargon surrounding dance music? Go to Mojo's this Thursday and you'll realise that when music is this good you don't need to classify it - just dance! lcr disco uea - club night Wouldn't it be cool if everyone in the lcr broke out into a spontaneous dance routine to 8ritney Spears like on a bad Seventies film? Probably not. £2.75 ADV £3.00 on the door "value night" liquid - club night More cheap drinks and banging tunes from those lovely people at Uquid. the monastry of sound rick's place Chart/dance hits. charty handbaggy the loft Come and strut your funky stuff at this popular gay night. essential time If you missed the launch party earlier this week, this is the ideal opportunity to see what this brand spanking new club has to offer. £2.00 84 11 £3 After

Food served daily from lOam

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Happ Hours: .30 m - 6.30pm & 7pm .. 8pm

friday

the end of term student christmas party time - club night Expenence Norwich's brand new super club for a student night designed to blow you away from 21:00 to 02:00. Free adm1ss1on with NUS card

red t1me Go on, try something different this weekend - you might like 1t! £4.00 84 11 £5 After

1 Farmers Avenue, N rwich Tel 7 5512 THE EVENT, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 01, 1999

• •

IAN BROWN TOP 50 DISCO

139 • 141 King Street Nor

FRI 3 DEC

£12.50

CAST YOUR VOTE NOW

... -

SAT 4 DEC

£3

BJORN AGAIN SOLD OUT

TUE 7 DEC

WED 8 DEC

REEF

£12

CLUB RETRO

+ THE SILVER BEATLES SAT 11 DEC

THE

£5

LIGHTNING SEEDS

MON 13 DEC

£13.50

MOVING SHADOW DRUM N BASS TOUR FRI17 DEC

£9

MISS MONEYPENNYS SAT 18 DEC

£12

JOHN COOPER CLARKE POETRY MON 24 DEC

£6/£3.50su

NME AWARDS TOUR £8.50 SAT 29 JAN I I I

BUSH RESCHEDULED FROM NOV '99

•

FRI18 FEB

TICKETS FROM UEA UNION, SOUNDCLASH, HMV

I I I I

£10.50