The event- issue 110- 1st March 2000

wednesday, march 01, 2000

fags to fame ...............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

il'iiliii~

insight:

inspected:

andrew motion kool here hamlet: new takes photek fame & fashion farscape bush image over ability

handel by candle • oasis • talented mr ripley • translations • harry hill • the cure • geneva • green mile· art nouveau@ the sainsbury centre • resident evil three • mickey blue eyes

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contents: 04 04

how to be an all saints boyfriend depeche mode: is fashion ruined by celebrity?

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smalltalk: hardknox

06 07 08 09 10 11 12

by hercules: mr hip hop interviewed doing lunch: fame from flouncing floor shakingly fantastic: we meet photek nobler in the mind: new takes on hamlet animazing: the event visits jim henson's workshop wooden: the travesty that is bush sherry & song: andrew motion fights back

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music: oasis - geneva - the cure - buzzcocks breakbeat era - handel by candle - bellatrix - ltj bukem - chicane - embrace - bellatrix film: talented mr ripley- three kings- the green mile arts: art nouveau exhibition - translations - man with the golden arm - not fade away video-game: mickey blue eyes - resident evil three - rusmore - win lots of stuff tv: soaps - planet of the apes - the ex files - sex in the city - harry hill

event horizon: 19 21

cinema: now even bigger guide to all the films showing in norwich listings: the comprehensive guide to all that's happening in norwich until the end of term • editor-in-chief: james tapsfield editor: Iuke turner arts editor: alex mcgregor assistant arts editor: elin jones music editor: darcy hurford assistant music editor: Iuke chllton screen editor: adam chapman assistant screen editor: astrid goldsmith tvvideogame editor: steve collins listings: elin jones - darcy hurford - astrid goldsmith - shakir khan copy editing: claire saunders dtp: Iuke turner - carollne jeater - mark edwards - alex mcgregor - steve collins contributing writers: ayo mansaray - adam taffier - will lakeman - james goffin - mark smith - debbi marco - mark edwards - mischa gilbert - robbie upritchard - gemma o'donnel - andrew goodson - Iuke plowman - anthony lovell - tania neumann · kathryn hinchliff - lucy sacre - aimee forrester - metin alsanjak - gemma catchpole - kate wen lock thanks to: tart and the slapper - clare for the tickler - turntablist soc - astrid &- darcy

activate www.activate.co.uk

the event, wednesday, march 01, 2000

• • • • • • w1n w1n w1n w1n w1n w1n Now we all know that being a student is a hard life, not enough time to divide the day between going to the pub, going to the Hive and possibly attending the odd seminar. But never fear, all you ever needed to know about, well, nearly all could soon be yours with our colossal event give away. To be had are a selection of books giving a 'very short introduction' to a vast array of topics including, music, sociology, literary theory , anthropology, theology, the Koran, classics, archaeology, Hinduism , Judaism and even the Bible, all in handy pocket size. To win one of the books from this lovely collection all you have to do is answer this simple question ... Which book would you like from the very a short introduction series? The clue is in the question Event readers .... answers to the Concrete office or in the competition box in the hive.

An essential part of student life ...

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the

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in the beginning

03

loose ta k: cultural leeches nce a upon a t1me there was this guy and he said something really funny and then a whole bunch of cultural leeches came along and sucked the goodness from h1s words, much like a m1crowave sucks the goodness out of whatever you put inside 1t. You could put Jesus inside a microwave and all those good things that he taught like compass1on and forgiveness would just evaporate, such is the malevolent power of the m1crowave. At thiS juncture I have been told to stress that The Event does not condone the forced microwaving of any religious deity, especially any from the Islamic faith. You can · k1nd of get away with it with Jesus because the Catholic church is toothless these days. it's been centuries since the Pope had anyone executed, but those Ayatollahs on the other hand; 1t's like an addict1on w1th them.

I digress, these cultural leeches 'eh . We all know the type, we've all had the misfortune of sitting in the bar listening to one of our friends recite verbatim material he or she hrard some comic perform. What makes me caustic about it is the arrogant presumption that we would not have heard the jokes ourselves, and instead of beginning their little anecdote with "I heard this really funny joke the other day .. .", they just tell the gag as if it were their own. Prime example of this must be those that still say "it's not ironic, it's just unfortunate". This is scraping the very bottom of a very rancid barrel which

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contams nothing but the Devirs own manpaste. There is perhaps not a soul left in the United Kingdom who has not at some stage heard the comed1an Ed Byrne do h1s set about how Alanis Morrisette's 'Ironic' is not 1ronic at all. Yes, it's funny and yes, it's true, but because 1t's funny and because 1t's true does not mean that you have perm1ss1on to patromse us by assuming that we're so na"ive that we

instead of beginning their little anecdote with I heard this really funny joke the other day they tell gags as their own would not have heard of your "alternative comedy". I have, we all have. it's not as 1f the "ironic" stuff is brand spanking new and no one else has yet to hear 1t, is it? Ed Byrne did that material over three years ago, and while I'm sure he's chuffed with the cultural significance his gag has taken on he's hardly a cornedy great, is he? There are better comedians to plagiarise. What else has Ed done exactly, except try to be a little Irish Rob Newman? And by refusing to let his 'Aianislironic' skit die

we've all helped to perpetuate the career of this hapless chancer. He still does the Alanis stuff, 1t's been three years Ed, for the love of God rnan , let 1t go and skulk back to advertising shoe shops, where your 'talents' are clearly rnore comfortable.

Ofcourse comedy IS not the only genre where cultural leechmg takes place.

The rnus1c industry provides many. Suede, for example, have sprayed themselves w1th the scent of death by insisting on npping off their own lyncs. To w1t: She 's In Fashion's opening two l1nes read "She's the face on the radio/She's the body on the morning show". A few years previously Suede wrote the song The Wild Ones, the first two lines of which read "There's a song playing on the radio/sky high 1n the a1rwaves on the morning show".

Brett, we've put up with your faux mmcing but we will not tolerate the lazy reproduction of your own lyrics. Corne on, duckie, you once quoted Byron in your songs and now you quote yourself. There's a chasm of difference.

Still, I like him more than Oasis whose plagiarism deserve nothing short of them being forced to live in a house constructed from their own faeces, wearing clothes made from faeces and being forced to eat all the unsold copies of Standing on the Shoulder of Giants. Remember the best way to remove a leech: apply lit cigarrette.

Alex McGregor

the tickler: PALLAPOLOGIESAC 0 KLY I J EDF0 EAEP H KJREVI LOEIMAJSS CUOMI SLSRFWYL I A LHYOLIVERSAAOWW EYAFLASOSASDMEG OALBATRO .SSHKCHU PDJADKBCGASJTTP AEFNEFILYTCLOWN TKDORRNOEUIOMOI RAEFSECGDRHLALA AC0 F F E EANDTVKLT NNVELSSRFASDEI P NAMEOWARRYEESWA IPESKANARAMATAC when you do the tickler don't get in a pickier- fill it in and you can win ... a fantastic farscape video. fill in the tickler and bung in the competition box in the hive, or bring it up to our office. go on, farscape is fantastic, honest guv.

1: tuesday march 07 this year (7,3)

2: lucky seabird (9) 3: blur's idea of relaxation (6,3,2) 4: banana and toffee pie (8) 5: nirvana say sorry (3,9) 6: the naked chef (5,6) 7: cartoon pirate (3,11) 8: what a king and queen are (5)

9: what a roman lived in (5) 10: .. .... night fever (8) 11: two hulled boat (9) 12: cartoon with evil edna , mavis and

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arthur (6,3,4) 13: circus performer (5) 14: queen of the nile (9) 15: asked for more (6)

the event, wednesday, march 01, 2000

the

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04

so you want to be an: ?:

saints

bo't~riend .11

never ever bonked one of those young ladies under the bridge? the event knows where it 's at .. . want to be an all saints boyfriend? here's how ... what do they do?

To qualify, you have to be male (no Courtney Love/ Drew Barrymore antics here), between 23(Jonny Lee Miller) and 29 (Jamie Theakston) and extremely sexy. Although if you go out with The One With The Big Nose, you don't have to be that sexy (Stuart from Jamiroquai's good looks are somewhat debatable). it helps if you are incredibly famous - pop sta rs and television presenters preferable, no C-list celebs here please. Because it's always helpful if your boyfriend increases your social status, especially when you make abysmal music. Anything to get in Hello .... what do they wear?

They have to be skilled in shopping in the right places, to get that expensive but oh-so-casual look. Duffer T shirts, Evisu or G Star jeans, Nike vintage import-only trainers, Miu Miu or Burro shirts, Helmut Lang jackets ... oh the li st of labels is endless. However, the slightly rougher round the edges northerner Robbie Williams has been known for his penchant for cheaper sports brands such as Adidas. How common. it is especially important to look good when attending premieres and awards ceremonies with your All Saint, because the cameras wi ll be out, and you don 't want to embarrass Nic/ Mei/Shaznay/ Nat, now do you?

ecently pop 'band ' Steps interviewed fash ion designer Joseph Conran as part of London Fashion Week. it gets worse - it wasn't even the whole band (which includes reasonably intelligent gi rls. I said reasonably, OK?), it was just the boys, who I believe go by the names of H and Lee . Quite why the person who came up w1th the idea for this meeting of minds thought that two half-wits who wear sartorial masterpieces such as Topman

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where do they go?

Any public place and snog their girl friends there, to show the world (or at least the Hello readership) how very much in love they are. And some not-so-public places to take drugs. The Met Bar is a favourite, although it's getting a little cliched now, so they seek out slightly less well known establishments, as long they are the right side of South Kens1ngton dahlmg. And, of course, the obligatory round of celeb parties (w1th Kate Moss and Meg Matthews, naturally), and the occasional trip to Portabello Market, you know, just to show that they're coo l.

it seems that the only way to generate any kind of interest is to produce multi-media shows where the actual clothing is sidelined

where will they go?

Eventually, they w111 be dumped for a new, more eXCiting model. Then they will carry on with their own (much more successful) careers. Th ey too will have more blonde plastic girlfriends who are in soaps or pop bands Uust stay away from S Club 7, OK boys? 'Cos they're still a b1t young. Wait until they actually have pubic hair).

Astrid Goldsmith

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posh spice trod the runway at Iondon's fashion week as the press and umpteen celebs gawped and quaffed free champagne. astrid goldsmith asks whether the famous types and hype detract from the clothing's artistic importance .. .

sleeveless T-shirts and red devil horns were the right people to interview a clothing genius is a mystery.

But 1nterv1ew him they did, ask1ng h1m stimulating questions such as "what is your favourite colour?''. lmpress1ve stuff, boys.

In a week which IS supposed to be dedicated to fashion, an awful lot of media attent1on was directed anywhere but. The biggest news story to do with London Fash1on Week was on the fact that V1ctona Beckham (wl1o was, last lime I looked, a Sp1ce G1rl , and therefore associated w1th pop mus1c and not fash1on ) modelled for her designer fnend

Maria Grachvogel at her show in the Natural History Museum. The connecti on is, I su ppose, that Victoria, being Posh Spice, is The Well Dressed One, and makes a big deal out of knowing about fash ion and showing lots of flesh and little bits of Gucci. So when she - gasp - showed her buttocks at the show last Wednesday, half the tabloid papers thought it was worthy of putting on the front page. But the clothes weren't even that exciting or onginal. Is it only the involvement of pop stars and media darlings in fashion that will get it in the news? There were more pictures of Posh's family, neighbours and friends 1n the front row than there were of the creator of the clothes herself. And most of the other photogra phs were of the famous models, such as Naomi Campbell and Jodie Kidd, who are celebrities for reasons other than fashion (tantrums and shagging members of U2 m Campbell's case, extreme sk1nniness in Kidd's).

Even supposedly quality papers such as The Times have difficulties focusing on the most important part of London Fashion Week. Although the1r photo was of two models wearing garments from Matthew Willlamson路s latest collection, the fact that the girls were Kate Moss and Jade Jagger meant that the text featured made many a mention of how Moss and Jagger were best friends (ahhh, isn't that lovely), but not that much about Williamson, one of the most talented designers of recent years .

Similarly, in the latest ed1t1on of Heat magazine, coverage of London Fash1on Week consisted of a photograph of the aforementioned Ms Campbell modelling in Julien Macdonald's show, and an accompanying story of her latest tantrum.

Apparently she refused to have her make up done in the communal make up room, and insisted on having her own room ... fascinating. Again, nothing at all about the designs. But hey, we got another picture of Kate and Jade in the audience ...

The presence of celebrities in fashion extends beyond mere modelling and sitting in the audience. At Macdonald's show, rappers Jay-Z and Lil' K1m played sets for the audience. New concepts in the way fashion is displayed are always welcome, but the two artists were not even wearing Macdonald's designs. Surely this just distracts the audience's attention away from the clothes? it seems that the only way to generate any kind of med1a interest in London Fasl1ion Week is to produce multi-media shows, where the lighting/novel staging/trendy music are at the fore, and the actual clothing IS sidelined. n addition, over the past few years, there has been an increase in celebnty designers, whose personalities garner far more column inches than their creations .

For example, Stella McCartney got herself a plum job as designer of French fashion house Chloe . Now, that wouldn't have anythmg to do with the fact that her daddy was 1n the Beatles and she does heavy rounds of the media ci rcus, would it? And Jade Jagger's fame as a jewellery designer doesn 't have much to do with Mick Jagger being her daddy, does it? This is not to say that Stella and Jade are not deserving, because they are both

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ers immensely talented. But it just seems a little unfair that they swan into jobs and achieve instant success because of their inherited celebrity.

And, due to this, the number of parties at trendy bars they attend gets more publicity than what they do for a living. Or not, as the case may be, if you have a huge amount of money in your trust fund.

However, celebrity-generated publicity does do some good in the fashion world. Would British designers such as Alexander McQueen and Hussein Chalayan (both of whom displayed their work at London Fashion Week) still be struggling unknowns if celebs like Madonna hadn't attended their shows? it is difficult to assess. If designers are unknown, the coverage they get focuses on the beauty or novelty of the actual clothes. Once they are famous, all that gets written about is who attended their shows. it really is a case of who you know, not what you know.

Most people are generally scornful of haute couture, considering it too extreme to wear (like, duh, miss the point). So maybe it's a good thing that nonfashion related famous folk raise awareness of artists like McQueen, for his shows are pure art. At least it counteracts some of the accusations that high fashion is elitist. By including pop stars and actors (which Hilfiger, the ultimate man Of the community, started with his rap star-friendly designs) in shows, it will increase the appeal to the masses. But let's face it, the masses are just not interested in fashion like this. They either don't know the right people to get into the shows, or can't afford the clothes (can anyone?), or don't appreciate it for what it is supposed to be. How many people could tell what concept lsaac Mizrahi was going for in his show a few years ago which was "Nanouska of the North crossed with Barbie spring pastels"? Fashion is art, and if you are going to write about it, at least concentrate on the clothes. Because more often than not, they will be far more entertaining than the mediahungry, vacuous audience.

05

smalltalk: hardknox how did the band start?

Steve: lt was about five years ago when me and Undy [ex of Beats International fame] met up in a studio in West London. I Was working on drum & bass and she was working on an album, and we just sort of met in the corridor, making cups of tea, and decided to do a tune. We did a few singles, did a lot of remixes and loads of stuff, and the album took three years. what band would you like to have been In? Steve: lt's a tough one. I would like to produce more.

Lindy: I would have liked to have been in the Clash, as the token bird. The Beastie Boys ... ! would like to be the Beastie Girl in the Beastie Boys. And Debbie Harry.

how would you like people to remember you?

Undy: Extravagant, elaborate, sensual, shocking, colourful, ground-breaking, technically perfect - and sonically perfect.

Steve: She's just about covered everything there, nothing to add. I think we've got it all in there. does shania twain impress you much?

Undy: Yes she does, actually. She impresses with her abi'lity to disguise her age in a leopardskin catsuit.

Steve: No, not really. what song would you most like to have written?

Steve: I think it would have to be Adamski's Killer.

Undy: [singing] "Mamma, just killed a man".

Ayo Mansaray

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06

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sknowledge ----036

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joy division

with Reprise records , a part of Warner Brothers.

KRS 1 is the A&R man and it's an artist development deal. I' m lookin' for new ta lent, I want to reform the Herculoids." ny aspiring artistes take note: Kool Here is on the prowl. In each city that he goes to , he asks loca l emcees to take the mike, and show him what they got. If you 're interested, what better than advice from the man himself: "Be yourself. New York might be the birthplace of hip hop and rap, but it's world wide now. Put your ideas how you is doin' it on the UK side. People in the States love your accent. An if you kickin ' it like you know your business, that's what you need.

Don't sound like you from NY. Be yourself. That's why brothers from the south is coming through ri ght now, 'cos they're bein ' themselves. People in different countries like to hear other people's accents. Be you rself, what you do ain 't hip hop or rap or whatever. Rap about issues that are here, get recognitison in NY if you want to, but NY wants to hear you rappin' in you r own style."

That night Kool Here delivered ·vintage music' to a wall -to-wall crowd downstairs at Mojo's. Although it

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kool here is universally regarded as one of the founding fathers of hip hop. he recently graced norwich at the behest of uea's very own turntablist society, where adam taffler spoke to the hercules of deck debauchery ... ool Here is truly a legend in his own lifetime. His phys1ca1s1ze and presence matches his godlike status; while playing football 1n school he was nicknamed Hercu les for his gargantuan athletic bi.Jild. As he starts making way into his fifties the muscle has started to turn into extra we1ght, but he wears 1t wel l. Decke<l out in leather trousers, black and red 'Johnny Blaze' sweater and tinted glasses, Kool Here looked as at home 111 a club basement in NoiWich as he would in his own neighbourhood 111 South Bronx, USA. H1s notonety 111 the UK was massively boosted by

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"yeah i'm number one but i lived my popularity down" the recent Hip Hop Years senes on Channel Four; a senes that brought Kool Here to the attent1on of the Bnt1sh public w1th the assert1on that. "To all Intents and pu rposes, hip hop started the day Jama1can born Cl1ve Campbell. aka Kool Here, first set foot m New York 111 1967".

So w1th fame and accla1m as b1g as th1s, and a coolness to make James Brown h1mself Jealous, why hasn't Here been tempted to sign any b1g record deals? "Kool Here never makes a move withou t t11e man on the street tak1ng act1on f1rst. Kool Here never say Kool Here IS Number One. After heanng th1ngs a certain amount of t1me you can take a s11ot at anythmg, yeah I'm Number One but I lived my populanty down. I never overlived my populanty. If the man on the street says Kool Here IS Number One, I'm there for l11m. "So when d1d th1ngs really start to take off for th1s g1ant? "it was the summer of 1971. We found a room on 1520 Sedgew1ck Avenue, no b1gger than the s1ze of th1s, an· we started Jamming the re. We gave a block party two summers after that, an· the block party was too mass1ve, we couldn 't come back. That was the b1rth of me getting a lot of exposu re w1th 1t, and a lot of people from different boroughs heard abou t it and came down." He was being evas1ve on the 1ssue of him starting hip hop. When I introduced him to the camera as The Godfather of hip hop', he stepped in: "Actually, I'm gonna have to correct you there, I'm the father" .

When hip hop started, it was a way of letting the

youth express their ene rgy , and helped to stop black on black bloodshed. I asked Kool Here what he th.Ought about the v1olence that has characterised hip hop over recent years. "Well it was a matter of time before those elements started to arrive on the scene. There were hustlers, and when I say hustlers, I mean drug dealers. Hustlers are opportunists, they are bus1ness men. They came with their own style: drugs, guns, gold, n1ce ca rs , women . They didn't need a rad1o show to sell records, they were business men, they produced their own records" .

But like any develop1ng new for , these original characters soon brought others there soley for the 1mage. "Then you got the imitators." , says Here.

"People who said ·we ca n do that' , people who never been to jail, who never got a gun fired at their ass, never so ld no drugs . I ca ll these imitators studio gangsters". A long way away from the gun toting faux gangster world, it was rumoured that Kool Here had been seen w1th former medieval history students the Chemical Brothers in New York.

I asked him 1f 1t was true . "Yes, yes, them be my boys. Two years ago, I d1d a show in NY and the Chemical Brothers were there . I saw these girls in the front s1ngmg, 'the s1sters are gonna work 1t out, the SISters are gonna work 1t out'. So I took the mike, told them I'd noticed them, an· got the fellas 111 the place to say, 'the brothers are gonna work it out, the brothers are gonna work 1t out'. So we got 1t gom· back an· forth. back an· forth.

The Chem1cal Brothers were upsta1rs and heard 1t. They got 1t on. tape an· put 1t on the1r album. I was lllVIted to play w1th them a year later 1n Bnxton Academy ... The fact that he 1s still Influencing cutt1ng edge art1sts w1th h1s authentic presence 1s sweet mus1c in 1tself. That he is now plann ing to make a b1g splash 111 the 1ndustry aga1n means the h1p hop historians w1ll have to hold on to the1r pens, and see what th1s fifty year old legend does next.

"Kool Here never left the scene, Kool Here was always on the scene, on the side, watching, listening.

What you have now is a resurgence of first and second generation ra ppers, they got kids now. Old bboys wa nt to reminisce. I got a deal

the event, wednesday, march 01, 2000

"people who never got a gun fired at their ass, never sold no drugs. I call these imitators" was too rammed for the b-boys to show us how it's done, people nodded their heads enthusiastically, savouring the tunes, and awed by the opportunity just to be in the presence of this historic figure.

Local group Def Tex, whose band contains UEA students, also played a killer wa rm up set. The whole gig was the launch party for their latest EP, Synchronize, on Son Records , which is available from Soundclash. it already has already been awa rded single of the month in Musik magazine, and a five star rating. TSN , the hip hop branch of the Turn tablist Society have been rockin' on all fronts recently. At the beginning of February, they confirmed a sponsorship deal with Carhartt, who provide clothes as competition prizes for events and other goodies. Dogfish are also involved. Want to lea rn how to break dance? No problem, every Wednesday at the Art College , 7 -9pm , £2.

Then there were the Arsonists, Plus One from the Scratch Perverts and now Kool Here. How are they going to top this one? Apparently, Mix Master Mike IS on the cards for May. Meanwhile DJ Vadim , lnscience, Mr Thing, Kila Kella , Blu Rum 13 and Sarah Jones should ge enough to keep everyone entertained on Tuesday 29th Feb @ NOIWICh School of Art and Design student bar.

For tickets, information on break lessons and other Turntablist events, call Adam Taffler on 07879-651036 or N1gel Rouse on 07879-4 77 -761.

what's the big fuss then?

Joy Division were the missing link between Seventies punk and Eighties electronica. Th ey were , undoubtedly, the most miserable band to ever come • out of Manchester (the Smiths always had an element of self-irony to them at least}. That's a recommendation , by the way. Having toyed with a variety of names, including the Stiff Kittens and Warsaw, they settled on Joy Div1sion , a term ta ken from Nazi concentration camp brothels, ambiguously enough. They produced achingly beautiful music that sounds best played late at night. (wrist -slitting optional). Try it.

who did what?

The lyrics were written and intoned by lan Curti s, the guitar was twa nged by one Bernard Sumner, tile bass was strummed by Peter Hook, and Stephen Morris played the drums.

sold a few records then ?

Yeah, probably. There are more Joy Division compilations than 'proper' albums, of which they only made two . But they've influenced and 1nsp1red so many people that I'm sure their sales are fa irly respectable. Not that commercial success is a prerequ1site fer being any good anyway, as regular readers of The Knowledge will know.

which is the best?

The1r 1979 debut, Unknown Pleasures. lives up to its vaguely suggestive title - you may not have heard of it, but it's damn good. 1995's Permanent compliat1on has got all their great stuff on it and IS a definitive introduction to the joys of the DIVISIOn.

that singer, did he ... ? hang himself? He did, trag1cally enough. hav1ng suffered from severe depression and worsenmg ep1lepsy for some lime before; hangmg h1mself JUSt before the release of Love Will Tear Us Apart. one of the most movmg songs ever recorded.

so, what does the future hold?

Following Curt1s' su1cide, the rema1nmg members of the band regrouped to· form New Order, released Blue Monday and, well, you know the rest. One of the most successful bands of the eighties, a World Cup song, and a dramatiC sh1ft away from the depressive view expressed by their former band.

There's a para ll el between Joy Division and the Manic Street Preachers here, come to think of 1t.

Whether IIJew Order will ever be bothered to get off their arses and record anythmg again now is an entirely different matter.

in retrospect ...

"We knocked on doors of Hell's darker chambers Pushed to the limits, we dragged ourselves in"

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nes nna Friel, Patsy Kensit, Melanie Sykes, Sadie Frost; Hardly the leading actresses of our time (and in Sykes' case, hardly an actress at all), but they always seem to be on the front pages (or, in some cases, page three) of the tabloids. In dealing with this phenomenon I suppose much of their continuing fame can be credited to the readers of the Sun, that Murdochian ambassador of

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could you imagine anna and darren being invited over to supernova heights for a cosy foursome? celebrity gossip. Can anyone actually remember the last film that Patsy starred in? How about Sadie Frost? Yes, she's the one married to Jude Law. Yes, she's friends with Ewan McGregor. No, she hasn 't done any actual acting for a while, has she? lt leads one to question whether these women can still be entitled to have the illustrious title of 'actress' stamped on their passport, or would it be more

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fame comes cheap these days- don 't worry about acting ability, just hang around in the right places and be friends with kate moss. elin jones investigates the phenomenon of the marlboro light generation ...

fitting to have 'Met Bar member' in its place? This is the 'Marlboro Ughts generation' - the new breed of 'lt Girls' famous for being famous once upon a time and taking the art of the celebrity to new heights.

Tabloid journalists have done for them what a famous boyfriend or two has done for the Appleton sisters.

Since 'that kiss' in Brookie, Annp Friel has been the darling of the British press, and now that she counts Meg Matthews and Kate Moss among her friends her elfin features are never far from the newsstands. Whether on shopping sprees with Meg 'n' Kate or floating about the Met Bar in whispy bits of chiffon and kitten heels with, urn, Meg 'n' Kate, Anna is always ready to oblige the waiting photographers with a little-girl-lost look or a hug with ... wait for it. .. Meg 'n' Kate. See how popular she is? Not quite so popular when she was going out with Darren Day though, was she? Could you imagine Anna and Darren being invited over to Supernova Heights for a cosy foursome? Perhaps they would burst into an impromptu rendition of Joseph's Technico/our Dreamcoat after dinner with Noel strumming along in the background as they sit beside the fire like boy scouts. Didn't think so.

Since her much-publicised split with Dull Darren she seems to have been putting all her efforts into changing her image in the hope of regaining a bit of

credibil ity. Sadly, it seems to have escaP,ed her attention that by far the most effective way to gain respect as an actress is to actually be a good actress.

Friel's performance in Land Girls, her first major film role, was probably the most successful thing about tlie entire film , and predictably enough the British press hailed her as our new Hollywood hope. However, the film 's poor takings at the box-office did not inspire confidence in Friel 's appeal - a stint in Brookie was not enough to pull the crowds to the cinema . Her performance in last year's flop Mad Cows was, by all accounts, abysmal and we haven 't heard anything from her since, apart from a small part in last year's Hollywood production of A Midsummer's Night Dream. That is, unless you make the effort to look at her numerous web-sites. They all claim to pay homage to the 'fantastic talent' of Anna as an English actress, and you would expect to find news of her latest ventures and reviews of past work. No such luck. Of the pages I dared visit in the relatively public space of the ITCS, every single one was devoted to pictures of her waif-like form from her sensible sweater stage as Beth Jordache in Brookside to her contemporary pose looking through her cropped fringe with a Marlboro Light dangling from her pouting lips. Even her own homepage, which she claims to have designed herself, makes no mention of any forthcoming film or television roles. In fact, it consists of a gushing apology for not replying to people's emails and for not being able to attend all the charidee events that she gets invited to. Obviously far too busy hanging out drinking G & T's to worry about getting a career or even keeping her fan-base so that if she ever decides to make another film there will actually be someone to go and watch it. lso suffering from the curse of the Met Bar is Mrs Uam Gallagher herself. Rims such as Lethal Weapon 2 , Twenty-One and Bu//seye hardly qualify anyone for the amount of media attention that Patsy Kensit commands everywhere she goes, but she's still clinging on to the misguided notion that she is a famous and accomplished actress. As famous for her tempestuous love-life as for her acting skills, Patsy lives the life of a celebrity wife with flair. As with her 'Marlboro Ught Generation' contemporaries, Patsy is a regular in London's trendy night spots, and whenever there is a lull in the news she is happy to oblige with a bust-up with Uam, followed by a very public reconciliation . Credit has to be given to Patsy, she has been trawling the bars of London for about twenty years now, all in pursuit of stardom - and it has worked. Never far from the eye of the public, Patsy doesn't even need a film career (unlike Anna Friel) as she will always be able to be supported financially, and keep a high-profile as the wife of a Gallagher.

Melanie Sykes is hardly an A-list actress even in Britain, yet she is always at the best parties and her bizzare love-life keeps her on the front pages.

To cut a long story short, Mel starred in the Boddington's Cream of Manchester adverts and a few best forgotten television attempts. That's about it. Since then, she has had a couple of presenting jobs, but what really keeps her in the public eye is her party lifestyle, especially since

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she has taken-up with the lovely Chris Evans (a distictly sarcastic yum) . There's nothing like a public break-up to keep you in the news, and who better to involve in the messy situation than Chris - just ask Geri. A couple of topless shots on an illicit holiday, a jilted lover and a few appearances at the

patsy kensit is still clinging to the misguided notion that she is an accomplished actress Met Bar/Beach premiere/TF/ Friday and you 've extended your showbiz shelf-life by a whole week.

These women provide a valuable lesson for any budding actresses - you will need a certain amount of talent to get famous in the first place (unless you are Pamela Anderson, in which case you 'll need a certain amount of special sand) , but once you have made your mark just take any high-profile role available, preferably one with a wardrobe full of rubber hot-pants and as many gratuitous shots of your backside and/or breasts as possible. Couple this with a few nights a week somewhere with the members of All Saints or Kate Moss (again wearing the rubber hot-pants, if possible) and you will be set to stay on the front page of the Sun and in the nation's minds for at least a month, at the very most.

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ettin' teknical vinyl-botherer and drum & bass doyen photek recently made a rare live appearance at uea, and will lakeman was there to meet him ... t is surely but a matter of time until the album, showcasing the unstoppable combination of much-abused foundations of the LCR building Peshay's jazzy styles and Photek's trademark finally succumb to the intense pressure put precision drum sounds. Photek reveals that the upon them and crumble back into the earth, success of that collaboration will soon be continued, reducing the mass of freshers mfesting the as the workaholic pair are currently spending the Hive to a sticky m1xture of blood, bone and colour small hours working on an album together: "I think I coded mobile phone covers. The cause of this put the fin ishing touches to the last track at about seven o' clock th is morning.- it 's going t o be fi ve messy and litigious cataclysm lies in part with the tracks from each of us on a 10 track album." long awaited return of the XLR8 Drum and Bass Unusually for both artists, this venture is "one event, and the mortar-menacing bass quakes that roll forth from its almighty towers of boom . hundred percent drum & bass" and is scheduled to Responsible for reducing novices to a squishy pink materialise later this year under the highly mass at the most recen t gatheri ng was illustrious appropriate moniker Lethal; judging by the tracks special guest wax-mangler Photek, alongside XLR8 Photek premiered from the album that night; it does resident and Beccles dweller Peshay, with the - exactly what it says on the box. added attraction of a soundclash between the The Lethal album is only the latest project in a university's home-grown bass terrorists, the Wax career that spans hundreds of tracks and almost a Magic and Prophet crews. Those of a weaker decade, whic h probably explains why, despite a disposition, or perhaps already stone deaf, cou ld storming performance at UEA, Photek is more avoid the j ungle onslaught and retire to the H1ve, famous for his studio explo1ts than his Djing. "I where a vibrating mass of wasted teenagers was wou ldn't say I was a DJ . When I hear myself jiggled by the soulful sounds and re-rewinds of Style described as DJ Photek I think 'really'? it's not my th ing. I'm about making music rather than playing FM, who conclusively prove that Norfolk is the next it". His second album for Virgin records, which he has been working on "forever", will probably be appearing on a turntable near you around September. Like his first full-length release, Modus Operandi, the new album will feature a mixture of styles underpinned by the cerebral drum textures that define the Photek sound. A vocal critic of some of the more juvenile tendencies of dance music, his atmospheric and complex creations avoid what he describes as a "teenage rampage kind of vibe", best thing to the floating Garage fortress of Aya which is perhaps embodied in the trend of much Napia. Resisting the infernal temptations of the recent drum & bass to rely on terrifying killer cyborgbass, and ignoring the horrifically gurning sportswear hoover noises. "I'm a b1t worried by all this models clustered around the fruit machines, it was headbanger heavy metal noise . it gets a bit much ... time to fasten the biggest of trousers and head for a if people like tha t then 1t's great, but it's not my meeting deep w1thin the eye of the percussion thing at all", a philosophy which explains why the cyclone with original drum scientist and international elaborately constructed rhythms of Photek occupy a bass ambassador: Photek. unique position in a genre .seldom described in The appearance of Photek at an event of this kind terms of subtlety. represents quite an achievement for the promoters Like democracy, The Beatles and Hugh Grant, it as he is less renowned for his turntable based seems that electronic music is shaping up to exploits than for the studio science of his music, as become one of Britain's great exports to America, well as being one of the fi rst Drum and Bass artists despite the difficulties it has penetrating the Shania to sign an album contract to a major label. Indeed, Twain vs Puff Daddy wasteland of commercial radio. his performance at UEA's concrete castle represents Through support drawn mainly from underground the latest in a long series of collaborations with radio and campus broadcasts, artists such as friend and long-time associate Peshay, who is chief Photek and Peshay, as well as contemporaries like vinyl termi nator at the XLR8 event. The most recent Goldie, LTJ Bukem and Roni S1ze, are finding an fruit of the alliance between the two was the track P increasing market for their music in the Walkman of vs P on Peshay's genre hopping Miles From Home Uncle Sam. This somewhat belated recognition

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it was time to fasten the biggest of trousers and head for a meeting within the eye of the percussion cyclone

the event, wednesday, march 01, 2000

means big business to the dance community, as they may succeed where only the likes of the abominable Bush have gone before. "America is the one that everyone was praying was going to happen .

I see 1t's begun to establish itself and once Amen ca cracks it there's going to be some serious business going on over there", though the previously underground sound is still unlikely to become as acceptable as in Britai n, where even gardening programmes have pseudo-jungle soundtracks and Fatboy Slim 's nipples make front page news. Photek agrees that "all electron ic music is still very underground", but the gargantuan s1ze and appetite of the American music industry means that reaching enough of the right people can still mean massive success: "it doesn't matter if the whole of Amenca doesn't like it, because if you even hit one percent of America then you 've done good." hen asked if the exhilarating experience of playing in Norwich recalled other engagements in more exotic locations, Photek recalls a performance in the far east, perhaps the natural market for his unique flavour of breakbeat Kung Fu: "One really memorable moment was playing at the Mount Fuji Festival in Japan two or th ree years ago. That was incredible, I think there was something like 70,000 people on the whole mountain, and I played on the main stage; which was actually in the clouds. There was probably about 30,000 people there but you could only see

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the first 800 at the front and the rest of them were hidden in the clouds. There had been a hurricane a few days before and there was a rock festival then; which just got completely trashed. That was pretty amazing. " So, with a career that takes in cyclonic devastation in the orient and underground radio in the USA, it

even gardening programmes have psuedo-jungle soundtracks and fatboy slim's nipples make front page news seems only natural that Photek should eventually reach the hallowed ground of Norwich. When asked 1f he plans to return to Norfolk he merely smiles enigmatically and replies: "I think so. it's definitely been a good night" . lt seems there will be little rest for the disintegrating concrete of the LCR until XLR8 must return, perhaps heralding an almighty basstriggered landslide that will decimate the foundations and gnnd Breakers 2 deep into the bowels of the earth. Let us hope that such a glorious day comes soon.

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with cost umes by red or dead and a contemporary urban setting the red shift theatre company hope to bring hamlet up to date. james goffin discussed foul and unnatural acts with the play's director, jonathon holloway ... t's hard to believe that you could possibly perform one of the most famous pl ays in the world in a new light - but that's exactly what the Red Shift theatre company are claiming to have done with their new production of Hamlet.

Four hundred yea rs after its fi rst production, director Jonathan Holloway is convinced that his version of the anc1ent Dane being performed at the Norwich

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"we did romeo and juliet in 1985 to a frankie goes to hollywood soundtrack" Playhouse this month will give cause for a fresh look at one of Shakespeare's most popular works.

"Hamlet is an obvious candidate because it sits there like a great threaten ing lump, a kind of reef on which one can wreck oneself", explains Holloway.

However, in a sense that question of tradition IS made redundant by the nature of the play the Red Shift theatre company are doing, because of cou rse they're not doing Hamlet, or at least the Hamlet that everyone knows and is familiar with .

The twist comes because the text being used by the company is thought to be the closest possible to the 'original'- commo nly known as the Bad Quarto.

Whereas any actor worth their salt will have had to develop their own take on "To be or not to be, that is the question ," Red Shift's troupe will instead be posing the less immortal line "To be or not to be, I there's the point". The text used dates fro m 1603, a pirate>eopy by a printer keen to cash in on Shakespeare's success, and penned by actors who had taken part in authorised productions. Think of its as a bootleg album, smuggl ed out of the record ing studio before the official release date.

Holloway is convinced that this illicit tone adds to the drama. "I am trying to generate the kind of electric ity in an auditorium that would have been experienced by the audience that first saw the play.

I'm really interested in the narrative drive, telling a story that doesn 't let go, that starts and pushes through and gets you caught up in the helter skelter of events."

As a result , not just the poetry but the tone of the play is very different to the trad itional noble philosopher's tragedy that Hamlet has become associated wi th, instead attacking the audience with a vigorous modern edge. "it's a very brutal production in wh ich there is very little love. There is a sense of these people living in a contemporary, militaristic, essen tially urban environment, where fashion and politics can mean life or death. " The costumes are as fresh and striking to most audiences eyes as the text, direction and production ethos. Designed by Red or Dead , they are another mark of Red Shift's alternative approach. As a result, Holloway's modern approach to the play has been likened to Baz Luhrman's fi lm treatment of

Romeo and Juliet, although it's a comparison he rejects. "In a sense that film has become the bane of my life. We did Romeo and Juliet in 1985 to a Frankie Goes To Hollywood soundtrack, but just as the established theatre usually runs along a decade behind the avant garde, the movies are trotting along 20 years behind theatre. it's almost inevitable that it takes them about 20 years to discover that there is something going on in the live arts. that might be worth plundering. And I feel that in the theatre we're doing something profoundly different to the cinema." explains Holloway. "it's in the power of the camera to take you to the actual place and because you're used to the camera doing it , you expect the camera to do it, whereas fu ndamentally the theatre is about ideas; it can't create that illusion of reality." Holloway believes "That it changes the relationship between the narrat ive and design and music", because in cinema design and music are about enhancing the actualite, so the music will always be the most obvious music for the situation. What Holloway has attempted to do is to actually present parallel texts so that the music is not there to enhance the actualite but to "comment upon the scene."

going on backstage. The stage is miked up, so you can hit 1t or flick it or scratch it, and that sound comes through, or you can shout at it and it will echo the sound back".

The director suggests this reflects the brutality of the text and the way the set both reveals and obfuscates, is part of the way the play also works to both show and obfuscate.

The play has already toured throughout the autumn ,

"i feel that in the theat re we' re doing something profoundly different to the cinema" and has met with highly mixed react1ons - mostly due to the different venues it has been shown in. In these heady days it appears to be a conundrum of contemporary theatre that the most important element of the process, where you 're going to do the show, is one the production have the least

influence over.

"We kicked off with a week in Brighton which was fantastic because the theatre was stuffed with people for whom going to the theatre was just one of a range of things they did, including going to gigs, the cinema or just sitting on the beach and getting stoned; it was like going to a party every night. But you also go to venues where a company like Red Shift sticks out as be1ng fundamentally different from their normal fare of J1m Davidson 's tounng production of Boobs In the Wood or a couple of semi-retired film actors do1ng a two hander about a fading couple in lb1za, and the audience are basically kids 1n school parties, and retired people . going to the theatre just out of habit."

Despite this apparently scathing attitude, Jonathan Holloway is convinced that anyone can enjoy the play, whether they think they know Hamlet or not.

"The play is sort of like Ham/et has crash landed, you can recognise 1t but on the other hand its sort of the wrong shape. There's a strange pleasure in this malformed, sometimes quite aggressive, version of a play that IS so familiar that you almost don't look at it. "

t's an approach that has angered and confused some critics.

One of the th1ngs the production has been criticised for is the inclusion of a rather simpering, syrupy muzak. The problem is that critics are trying to second guess why that music was chosen, and coming to the mistaken conclusion that the muzak is there to enhan ce reality. "it's actually there to say that if you're anywhere in the world , in a Sheraton or Holiday Inn , you'll find muzak playing and it's normally playing to an awful lot of dirty political and fi nancial deals, so it provides an illusion of safety and comfort in what is actually a very threatening environment. " Holloway explains that the music is used not simply to cue the audience but to make a comm ent on the action .

Similarly the set design is a radical departure from traditional painted flats.

"Our set is punctured, so at the same time you are seeing the on-stage action you are also seeing what's

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jim henson was the man behind the muppets, and now his legacy lives on in his creature shop. mark smith had a look around, and saw behind the scenes of the company's latest project, sci-fi spectacular farscape ... obody creates a fad. it just happens. People love going along with the 1dea of a beautiful pig. it's like a conspiracy." - Jim Henson.

Farscape: A show that I for one dismissed straight away as a cheesy Buck Rodgers rip-off. A programme that fitted the generic code requ ired for creating a geek-fuelled cult 1V series.

The effects, which make the show such a delight, are the products of the Jim Henson Creature Shop.

The original studio was created back in 1979 to be used for the creation of the feature film The Dark Crystal. Since then the studio has gone from strength to strength, with countless contributions to many productions under it's belt, with films like Labyrinth , Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Babe, as well as Lost in Space, and adverts such as the Laughing Cow, and those 11V Movie Premiere Goldfish idents'. it seems that the studio is afraid of no venture, having made music videos for Supergrass (Pumpin' On Your Stereo) and Blur (Coffee & TV). _versatile is a word not strong enough to describe the output of this menagerie. The company relies equal parts on the use of computer graphics and real time puppetry - the Farscape programme acts as a showcase for what the Creature Shop is capable of.

Arriving at the Jim Henson Creature Shop, the home of the effects and creatures from the Farscape series, was much like walking into a vivid and very trippy nightmare. As the door opened, I felt drawn, beckoned to move up the tight, steep stairwell into a land that seemed reserved for the breath of angels.

I looked around the room I had just entered . it seemed that every item I looked at was more disturbing than the last. Heads of creatures half-

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monkey, half robot stared me out and with every moment that passed I could feel my soul being dissipated through the room . I was in a daze; I needed to sit before I fell . I leapt across the room and found sanctuary in the nearest sofa. I felt the presence of another sitting beside me. Imagine how my heart sank when an apparently lifeless, full size Kermit the frog took a lunge at me. This tour was, beginning to look like a clubhouse of despair.

As the room began to fill up with more people there was a sense of anticipation in the air; a sense much akin to that felt by a winner of a lustrous golden ticket, a key to enchantment and amazement. A large door opened; out of the portal did not come Gene Wilder, 1nstead an all the less impressive

imagine how my heart sunk when an apparently lifeless, full size kermit the frog took a lunge at me looking man emerged. The tour then began.

The Farscape un1verse was first explored as an exercise by the Jim Henson Creature Shop in 1994.

Many conceptual sketches, ideas and stories got put to paper but all the same the project was dropped later that year. it wasn't until 1997 when the project was revisited things got a little further.

Many of the original ideas were recycled, giving time to perfect those that weren't quite one-hundredpercent the first time around. The series was intended to act as a diving platform to show how the Jim Henson Creature shop could glide with true

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style, and as such it was important not to make this any kind of belly flop.

The Henson magic really is shown in full in Farscape, with three of the five characters relying heavily on at least some element of the studios expertise, whether it be the use of extensive computer graphics for the outer-space scenes, the puppetry on the pilot of vessel they travel in, the exaggerated make-up used on characters such as D'Argo, or a hybrid of all of these in a patent mixture, such as Rygel. ohn Crichton is the hero for whom we are meant to follow the series. He is your common, garden variety, butch, sensitive and academic man. He is played by Ben Browder, better known for his part as Neve Campbell's problematic boyfriend in the ultra depressing Party of Rve series. In a freak experiment John was catapulted out of control and ended up in a galaxy far, far away, many years removed from us. Sound familiar? Crichton is very human; he umms and he errs his way through this new world with relative ease. His lack of powel</special effects wizardry, and yet possession of an innate ability to save the day proves to each of us that; "there lies a hero within every man."

To keep us on our toes John soon finds a romantic conquest in the fonm of Aeryn Sun. While cheap and crass, this kind of treatment is important for the rat1ngs game. However Aeryn is no cherishable daffodil, far from 1t. She is less girl power, more gritty-girly on steroids, wid'da big guns an' teef. Claudia Black doesn't at first seem best suited to play such a character w1th her classical theatre background, however her reserved, gingerly nature adds a new dimension to the character, perhaps revealing that there is a delicate centre underneath her hard shell. This in turn spurs John on, but all)lost unpredictably, as he starts to get close he gets his fingers burnt.

General Ka D'Argo IS the perfect platform for an ambitious make-up project. The transfonmation from Anthony Simcoe to D'Argo is really quite a feat. From the impressive width of his American Football style shoulder pads to his scarily exaggerated, eyebrows D'Argo is as much of a

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Henson anomaly as Bert or Ernie. The make-up is mostly compromised of latex rubber. The whole of the head is made up of numerous parts. Normally the latex meets its maker due to being ripped (when being removed), or simply being destroyed by sweat.

The majority of the shows were filmed in old tin sheds at an abandoned Australian fairground in the heat of the summer, and much of the cast must have felt like they were donning a shell-suit of fire.

Looking much like an enlarged blue doll from the Eiffel 65 video, Pa 'u Zotoh Zhaan is a direct contrast in character to D'Argo. Being a mystical priestess she is naturally wise beyond recognition, and seems to have some kind of hold over all other characters (a delicate, but distinguishable taste of the force resides in my mouth). Make-up: Lots, all blue, very time consuming, plenty of overtime for all the Farscape face painters.

Superficially Farscape seems like an avoid-it-CULTsci-fi thing, but this is not the case. The nice thing about Farscape is that it does not take itself too seriously, in fact a show with this many cliches and ventable rip-offs cannot afford to take itself so. it's

d'argo's scarily exaggerated eyebrows and american football shoulder pads are as much of a henson anomaly as bert and ernie all tongue in cheek, smoke machines, and mockups. it is clear that this is not the realm of the clinical nature that we see in many other popular sci-fi programmes. it's all good Monday night viewing, not as stimulating as University Challenge, nor as fuel -pumped and geek-powered as Robot Wars. it's the happy go between, the compromise and proud of it. Why should comparisons have to be drawn on other shows of any genre? The propnetor of the Henson group Brian Henson puts it best; "We were trying to create something more wild than fiction."

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imagine a band from noo yawk who performed cockney rhyming pub songs. well bush have done the reverse, taking on the mantle of grunge and flogging it back to the yanks in bucketloads. the event spoke to dave, the bands' bassist ... hen in April 1994 Kurt Cobain took a shotgun, put it against his head, and blew himself to Kingdom come a musical era was at an end. His . band Nirvana had been at the forefront of the grunge IJlOvement, the blend of punk/slacker/rock that burst out of rainy North-West America in the late 1980s. Grunge offered a chance for alienated youths all over the world to wear TShirts outside long sleeved tops, not wash their hair, and generally hate themselves and everything; it seemed the perfect antidote to the materialistic ethics of the rest of the decade.

However, grunge also offered the opportunity for a whole load of truly abysmal bands to slap lard on their hair, frown, and bash out three chords to a hearty American growl. Many of these bands came when the genre was at its peak, only pass away forgotten and ignored - Candlebox and Alice in Chains, anyone?

After the end of Nirvana Britain quickly forgot grunge amidst the heady days of 1995's Brttpop explosion, that celebration of all things AngJocentric. But while Pulp were flouncing, Blur were a-Cockneying and Oasis painted Union Flags on their guitars, there was one corner of West London that seemed unwilling to forget the joys of the throaty roar and the lumberjack shirt.

Despite living in the nation's capital, Bush - named after Shepherds Bush, clever innit - seem to want to flog the grunge horse until its buttocks are as red as Stalin's underpants. With a singer who looked like a · Californian surfer with the voice of a lumberjack, and ham-fisted guitars coupled with lyrics of self despair that were as subtle as a smack on the head with a breezeblock, Bush are the perfect band to satisfy those Brits who long for the return of grunge, and are a fantastic transatlantic export to our less culturally sensitive colonial cousins. Dave, the band's bassist, bravely defends their music from these accusations of cultural betrayal: "lt's easy to say that, but I don't know what American music's supposed to sound like" he counters, rather unconvincingJy; "I think there's a lot of English stuff in us as well.· Perhaps he had a cup of Earl Grey before talking to us.

Most of this criticism of course stems from the fact that Bush made it big in America before anyone this side of the pond had ever heard of them. And what is worse is that the band have often been accused of putting their American commitments before those in their home country, with rumours of gigs being cancelled so they can attend evens in the States - hardly the punk ethic they claim to follow. llsked about his band's

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situation vis-a-vis bigness in America, Dave replies, somewhat enigmatically, that they're success has been "yeah, not bad", so let's presume that means the dollars are still pouring into their pockets. They certainly tour quite a bit. Dave is ringing The Event from the delectable environs of sunny Switzerland, where Bush are "playing, funnily enough. We're in the middle of a tour. • This does seem a little strange; after all, surely the rock & roll lifestyle, in this age of stadium rock indulgence, should enable Bush to go skiing, open high interest accounts at the Banque Suisse and buy custom made cuckoo · clocks instead of sit on the phone talking to a student publication, but ours is not to reason why,

bush seem to want to flog the grunge horse until its buttocks are as red as stalin 's underpants ours is just to have a try. it seems Bush have rejected the Duran Duran-type life of excess anyway.

Dave certainly seems unrepentant about not owning a private jet: "No no, I think it's a myth. We've all done well for ourselves, yeah absolutely, we've got somewhere to live, we've got cars. • Multi-property ownership?

"I haven't got two places to live, no.• According to recent gossip·column rumour. the band's singer, Gavin Rossdale, is stepping out with one Ms Appleton from All Saints, the band who, it seems, go out with anybody. Dave dispels this falsehood vigorously, saying "No I He's still going out with Gwen {from No Doubt]."

Damn, our suspicions were unfounded. Still, a celebrity girlfriend's a celebrity girlfriend - not exactly a typically grunge thing to do, you're supposed to go out with mangy old slapper like Courtney Love. recent development in the bashing of Bush came from Trey Parl<er and Matt Stone, better known as the creators of youthcorrupting cartoon 'South Park', who also have a band, called DVDA, who have written a song about Bush, available on their website. Although Dave is initially unconvinced that he knows about South Park, and even less that he is aware of its makers, the idea that someone could go out of their way with a song called I Hate The Man From Bush appauls him: "it's sad, that kind of thing.

I find it sad. it's cheap, taking a swipe at someone else. lt's unnecessary." Oh we digress, Dave old boy.

Warming to his subject, he continues: "it's difficult to have any sort of musical career, it's hard enough to go on tour for months.

Whether they like the music or not, they should let it be."

Well Dave, this is where we beg to differ. We should let your music be, but only in the sense of ~he leave it on the shelf and never listen to your horrible raucous guitars naff whinging pose striking teenage self hate grow up you fool nonsense ever again.

And somewhere, in a little vase in Seattle, poor old Kurt Cobain's ashes must be spinning as if in a whirlwind.

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*TWO POOL TABLES* the event, wednesday, march 01, 2000

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motion's mouthing: royal wedding:

in the months since his appointment as poet laureate, andrew motion has never been far from the headlines. now he breaks his interview amnesty and answers his critics. debbi marco speaks to the man with the sharpest three - piece suit on campus . .. ndrew Motion is a very hard man to get hold of. He tells me that he's on an "interview amnesty at the moment• when I request to speak with him, but praise and flattery, and constant harassment win him round. At over six feet and dressed in a well cut, three-piece suit, Motion is quite an intimidating character. His stride is long and his face is flushed as he comes to meet me; he has all the signs of a very busy man and I am painfully aware that I'm taking up precious time in his daily schedule. Andrew Motion lives in London, near the Arsenal home ground, with his wife who is literary editor of the Rnancial Times, and his three children. "I stay here one night a week,· Motion tells me, "the rest of my time is taken up with the Laureateship, ~ving poetry readings and trying to put together and run various schemes.· Motion is a pat time professor at UEA, teaching the prestigious Creative Writing MA set up by Malcolm Bradbury, previous graduates of which include such luminaries as Kazuo lshiguro and lan McEwan. He explains how, since his appointment to the position of Poet Laureate, "the application figures have gone absolutely through the roof. • But what about the rumours that he is leaving us to head for the bright lights of Oxford or Cambridge? Motion laughs: "I haven't even heard that rumour, • he tells me,

A "A people-river floods those empty pews, and music-torrents break - but the stop dead to let two human voices make their vows"

paddington rail disaster:

"In the end Imagine how large a silence will descend as the track Is cleared· ~llence like familiar clay... "

the millennium:

"I watched a day round, though it might have been a year, a century, a thousand years. lt made No difference ... "

tuc conference: "the chamber where one voice speaking Its mind could could fathom what liberty means and catch the echo of others which ring round the rim of t he world ... "

the event, wednesday, march 01, 2000

"there is no other job i would like to have. i like the university very much and i have fantastic students, the best students, probably, in the world" "I'm surrounded by rumours. Almost everything you read about me is not true. There is no other job I would like to have. I like the University very much and I have fantastic students, the best students, probably, in the wortd. You can scotch those rumours!"

Well, that clea"S up that, but what about the other little scandal? You know Andrew - the Millennium poem, the Daily Mail printing it a day earty, and that big fat cheque they gave you ... "lt was a piece of bollocksl ", he exclaimed. "What on earth do they think I live on? Sherry? Am I not allowed to make my money? Of course I am! No previous Poet Laureate has released his poems to every paper at the same time. I'm not just a lackey of the system. I told everybody that I was going to do it and frankly, the story would not have happened if it was not the day before Christmas Eve, and there was nothing better to write about." it's obviously a touchy subject and Andrew Motion is definitely beginning to feel the glare of the British media spotlight, but he should have been prepared for t~·is, in light of the outcry surrounding his appointment.

Following the death of Ted Hughes, a close friend of Motion's , there was a media frenzy d specualtion over who would succeed the great writer.

Motions name was one of the first to be bandied about in the newspapers, along with Carol Anne Duffy, Seamus Heaney and even Simon Armitage.

Motion Isn't a lesbian, an Irish nationalist, or remotely working class, and so was the obvio~s establishment choice, especiallyn as 01' Tone wheeled out the 'People's' prefix when talking about the 'Poet'. Many thought that Motion, as the perhaps lesser know, but more traditional and academic poet, would avoid the contentious issues of the day in his poetry. So what does he think of people calling him the safe option, and does he have any plans up his sl~eve to do something outrageous, in order to taint his teacher's pet i'l'lage? He snorts a contemptuous reply: "What do they want, unsafe hands? lt would be completely ridiculous to be merely shocking about it. lt would be in nobody's interest.· Hmm, no plans to paint himself green and run naked round campus, reciting anarchist poetry then!

However, Motion has not been afraid to tackle issues more challenging than the niceities of Royal Weddings, with a tribute to the Trades' Unions' Congress that 1e received at their annual conference, and a moving tribute to the way in which the violence and horror of the Paddington rail disaster was such a shock in the relaltivley routine wortd of middle class commuting.

The position of Poet Laureate is often seen as being all title and no role.

When he got appointed, even the Queen and the Prime Minister said he didn't have to do anything, apart from sit back and accept the honour, oh, and of course, £5000 and a lot of very nice sherry. However, Motion is ignoring th is advice and is determined to get his position viewed as a job.

His goal is to get better funding for literature within the arts and his first step is his speech at the Royal Society of the Arts in order to get money into schemes.

So, what does the Poet Laureate do when he's not being poetic? Before his appointment to the post, Motion was perhaps best known for his work as a biographer, firstly for his mentor Philip larkin, and then his literary 'hero' (to be vulgar), Joh'l Keats. His work on Keats is widely regarded as being one of the finest stJdies of the poet available, and Motion devoted a great deal of himself to the writing of it. At one point he became seriously ill while following the course of J<eats travel around Europe, though fortuantly he

didn't follow in the example of his predecessor by passing away at a tragically young age.

As well as his duties as Laureate Motion has round the time to write a biography of Thomas Wainewright, the Nineteenth Century painter and friend of Keats, De Quincey and William Slake. The biography of Wainewright proved rather more difficult to execute than that of Keats and Larkin, largely because of the mystery that surrounds Motions subject. He poisoned his sister in law Helen Abercrombie just days after she took out a life insurance policy for the then enourrnous sum of £16,000, and there is evidence that his potions ended the lives of several others. At the time it was impossible to prove that Wainewright had committed the murders as pathology was still very primitive in practice, though he was eventually sent to the colonies for insurance fraud in an attempt to achieve a semblance of justice. Wainewright's fall from grace meant that society largely tried to forget about him, and this all meant that Motion was forced to introduce a certain amount of fiction and conjecture into !lis writing, something that has caused a small rumpus in the academic community.

But when Motion isn't involved in his various literary and teaching work, he displays a laid back sense of humour and a keeness to express his opinion, not allowing his role as Laureate to prevent him from speaking his mind.

Motion was one of those unfortunate VIP's who was supposed to be attending the New Years Eve party at the Dome, but found that he had to queue for "Three and a half-hours with my 11 year old children who thought it was worse than I did. lt was a nightmare!" But surely it was worth standing around for hours in the cold and rain when you finally got in, wasn't it? Apparently not, according to the Poet Laureate. The displays, he admits, are "technologically, fantastically sophisticated" but he feels that the Dome hasn't "found a proper balance between the interests it needs to serve. But it's only February, there's time," he says optimistically. As for the actual Dome itself, Motion does not attempt to hide his enthusiasm: "it's beautiful and exciting and a real kind of landmark building." We begin to discuss what Should happen to the Dome when it goes up for sale in a year's time. "I think it should be turned into a giant poetry hall.· he says with a straight face, and then cracks his face into a grin. Phewl For a moment there, I thought he was serious. "My heart sinks that it will be full of larger than life models of Mickey Mouse," Motion explains, "it is such a colossal space. Some other means of providing the same excitement and fun should be found for it."

As for the wheel, Motion can't wait to go on it. "I think the wheel is absolutely wonderful. it's very rare to have some building like that to get

"it was a piece of bollocks. what on earth do they think i live on, sherry? am i not allowed to make my money?" such good press, so it must be amazing." Despite his serious faQade, I'm beginning to think that he's just a big kid underneath, wanting to play with the biggest and best toys around.

Obviously one of Andrew Motion's obligations as Poet Laureate is to have tea with the Queen, who was apparently "extremely gracious." Motion explains his attitude towards the Monarchy. "When I was appointed, there was a certain amount of huffing and puffing in the Dally Telegraph about my being a republican. Actually, all I'd said was that, there are good monarchies and bad monarchies, and I think we have a good monarchy. In relation to our own monarchy, I am an unwavering monarchist. " Well, as the royal poet it would be a bit strange if he wasn't in favour of the monarchy; after all, no Queen, no job.

comments that "they would rather I was David Beckham.• Suddenly I get images in my mind of Motion swanning round his house in a sarong and ... well, let's just leave it there!

"Good poems,· according to Motion, "are written as a result of a successful relationship in your mind between the side of you that knows what's going on, and the responsive psychological side, which has a vulnerability to it. • Motion reveals that his "serious writing" began when he started to write about his mother, who when Motion was just a teenager was in a coma for three years due to a riding accident. On coming out of her coma, his mother remained in hospital for a further seven years, before she died, having never fully recovered enough to return home. Motion explains that he "can't remember hardly anything about her, before she had her accident"; he thinks it is " traumatic blanking.• I watch his face to see if this topic of conversation is upsetting him, but he seems almost resigned to talking about her. "I'm well aware that any poems that I've written that aren't about her in a direct way, feed off ideas and thoughts that her situation made me think about. A lot of things happen in my poems that I have no control over. Last year I made myself sit down and remember such things that I could pull back. • When I ask him if he's considering undergoing hypnosis or therapy to try and remember his mother, he explains that he doesn't want to. These suppressed memories seem to serve Motion in his writing, they are "obviously working away somewhere.· stimulating his wish to write poetry, and Motion, understandably, seems to prefer a controlled release of his emotions, rather than an outpour.

You don't need to tre a genius to see that Andrew Motion is very serious about poetry and his position as Poet Laureate. He is determined to bring poetry into the cultural mainstream. "I don't feel we need more poetry everywhere. People don't need force feeding; they need to find out for themselves. " Andrew Motion needs to remember that this is the computer generation. He's going, to have to pull something very spectacular out of the hat to make the public log off and open a book of poems instead. Getting them interested young, is part of his plan. He intends to do this by "redefining poetry within schools. " Motion has set himself a difficult task, and whether he will succeed still remains to be seen.

But should he do so, Motion will go down in the history books not only as a laureate who wrote appropriate words for momentous national events, but as someone who achieved what is often thought to be impossible - taking poetry from the elitist wortd of academia, and giving it back to the people.

t is clear. that Andrew Motion intends to make his mark on the literary wortd while he is Poet Laureate. The position is due to be renewed after ten years, Which is a good thing, according to Motion, who points out that, because the previous position of Poet Laureate was a life long one, only older poets were being appointed to avoid anybody holding the position for an excessive period.

Fresh new ideas are needed all the time, and let's face it, forty years as Poet Laureate could begin to get a bit boring for everyone involved. Motion's concern is the barriers that exist betw~en the reading public generally and poetry "l>ecause poetry has this reputation of being difficult or stand-offish or not to do with life in a daily way•. He explains how he wants to integrate poetry Into the mainstream, so it is not only read jn schools and colleges. His aim is that "in ten years time you will see someone on the underground reading a book of poems with the same familiarity that you see someone reading a novel. • However, Motion admits that his kids are not big readers of poetry: "lt's easy to see why. They just associate it with me spending time away from them." He ttlinks that they're quite proud of the fact that he is Poet Laureate but laughinf)y

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the event, wednesday, march 01, 2000

the

event

inspected: music

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singles:

albums:

oasis standing on the ...

pop tune, and tracks such as Where Did lt All Go Wronlf? and Gas Panic show that he can still cut it.

But these are the exceptions, and it seems that the original all singing, dancing, and pie guzzling Mr Williams maybe accurate in his new opinion that "Noel's run out of other people's ideas."

Oasis fanatics will love it, everyone else will just moan that it all sounds the same.

Mark Edwards

With the release of the fourth-Oasis album, the Gallagher brothers have once again hit the world in their usual brash and gob-mouthed style.

From the opening single, Go Let lt Out, it seemed that Mane lads would once again follow in the footsteps of their flop top sixties heroes with the ~ Strawberry Fields-esque organ.

Unfortunately the album fails to deliver even this much of a blatant rip off, instead preferring to mill along In the usual Oasis style not quite reaching the .A now long dead 'sage' once said that "comparisons dizzy heights of debut Definitely Maybe. Of course are odious". Hmm? Cue more comparisons than Noel has still managed to bash out the odd good you can shake a stick at. This album, Geneva's r--------------------------------------------------------, secondafteratwo and a half year break, sounds close to a number of bands that currently hold court in the guitar-based, pop friendly · market; the likes of Radiohead, James and Travis spring to mind. This is not meant derisively, more that Weather Underground has to walk the obscurity /sublimnity tightrope that, somewhat inevitably, crosses the genre with both success and failure (think recent Oasis for how not to).

The album's zenith is reached rather prematurely at track two. If You Have To Go is quite beautiful in

i

ive: With the benefit of hindsight, I suppose a night of classical music that resorted to a rhyming title didn't exactly exude confidence. However, walking into the Maddermarket Theatre on Tuesday, February 15 I admit having felt optimistically curious. My curiosity was soon to wish it had stayed at home. Whether listening to an excess of Baroque music actually extends the length of one's nose is a suspicion yet to be substantiated, but it seemed a remarkable coincidence when the entire audience gathered in the theatre were so nasally encumbered. The other extraordinary trend that evening was the fact that the these superhuman honkers were utilised not for olfactory purposes, but rather as the origins from which long, condescending glances could be shot at the three students present. Admittedly our tuxedos and gowns had failed to return from the dry-cleaners in time to be wom, but unless we were unknowingly sprouting third arms from the napes of our necks, we did arouse undue attention.

But relief arrived When the blinking house lights and ringing bells summoned us to our seats, and we were able to hide, extra limbs and all, in the anonymity of the darkened theatre. No sooner had we sat down than we were engaged by the repartee of a bewigged man whose voice bore an uncanny resemblance to that of John Major. Tonight, he promised, we would hear the gems of Baroque Europe, and see the treasures of that era's fashion.

What followed was a 20 minute exhibition of soothing strings played by five folks in flowing gowns, and the type of wigs normally reserved for dozlng judges. lt was truly beautiful. My scepticism had been premature. 'What an unjustifiably cynical rube I am', I thought, sinking lower in my seat and state of mind. My opinion soon changed when Mr Major introduced a friend of his, "a contra-tenor who commands international praise and four figure fees.· The concert moved towards an evening of lookalike · karaoke as Mr Major's friend flounced on to the stage. He was clearly Nigel Hawthome in drag, but

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its power and fragility, almost cathartic in its delivery, inviting comparisons with James' She's a Star, and the Verve's Bitter SWeet Symphony. The early high somewhat ironically proves to be an anti· climax to the rest of the album, though Museum Mile hints again at their songwriting potential, and the general diversity in the album leaves you wondering about what they may come up with in future.

Mlscha Gilbert

geneva weather underground

handel by candle maddermarket theatre that didn't stqp him from announcing that he was about to sing five of Handel's lesser known arias.

And sing he did. 'Contra-tenor', I then realised, was the description of a politically correct, surgically unaltered castrato. While his conditlion may have saved Mr Hawthome pain, it soon had us in stitches, as he launched Into a perform·ance which must have been rescued from the cutting room floor of The Crying Game. As the last high pitched wail evaporated into silence, and the dramatic diva's chin ceased its wobbling, we were Invited to spend the intermission in the adjacent bar, and gradually recovering from partially stifled fits of giggles, sought alcoholic relief.

As if a reward for not dying from laughter, the audience were presented with silver platters of sausage rolls, and as we were now adequately comfortable in our new stereotypes of starving students, we took advantage of the free food in style. In fact, such luxuries appeared too much for one of my companions. Overcome by an obscene cocktail of laughter and sausage rolls, he proceeded to spray the latter over myself and the back of a Long Nose in a dinner jacket, thus forcing us to beat a haSty retreat into the safety of the candlelit theatre.

The second half of the concert was essentially one of those telly-advertised greatest hits packages. The contra-tenor returned, much to our delight, with the added joy of a harpist gallantly attacking an organ concerto. Handel By Candle rapidly progressed · towards Any Old Composer In The Dark, as we heard the collected offerings of Vivaldi, Mozart and, rather • bizarrely, Saint-Saens.

If the musical merit of the evening could be separated from the basic befrocked Idiocy of its appearance, we surely would have remained straight-faced and much impressed. As it was, we gobbled a few more sausage rolls to please our critics, were pierced by a multitude of shocked stares, and laughed our way home.

Andrew Goodson

the event, wednesday, march 01, 2000

the cure bloodflowers Perhaps the most attractive thing about Bloodffowers is that it sounds as _if it might be The Cure's last album. An air of retrospection and finality permeates the whole project. Almost every song has Robert Smith dolefully bemoaning that there's "nothing left to say" or "nothing left to bum" in his moribund, self-pitying monotone voice that's so listless it could make a Dylan lyric sound dull. The music has had all semblance of life painstakingly squeezed out of it by manic modulation and oVer· zealous production. lt makes you think of one of those fields in America that have been used for GM crop trials, where not even grass will grow because aggressive mutant plants have drained all the nutrients from the soil. I realise that here I may have stumbled across the point; that they're trying to create barren soundscapes befitting their wilfully desolate subjects. But the album is so self-indulgent that rather than engaging the listener, it simply sulks in the bland quagmire of its own miserable vanity. it's about twenty minutes too long as well.

Rabble Uprltchard

Any band with enough spunk to get them out of Iceland on a pop ticket have obviously got plel)ty of stuff, this record's evidence of that. The Girl With the Sparkling Eyes is a chirpy, exuberant affair, with enough melody to put a sparkle in anyone's eyes.

Thank God Mum's gone to Iceland.

Robble Uprltchard

also released:

embrace not alone the buzzcocks you're Embrace continue in the same vein as all their times up previous singles, i.e. a brass section, chant-a-long

Is

In the tiny punk crevasse between the Sex Pistols and the Clash existed a rather good and very important little band called the Buzzoocks. They fulfilled the rock criteria of their era with a sarcastic, yet frustrated lyrical tone and songs that didn't generally last beyond three minutes. Times Up, the Buzzcocks •live in the Seventies for 2000" collaboration is no exception. it contains songs that were 'all recorded live' a captures the disillusionment and frustration that fuelled a convoy of safety-pinned jackets. Considering that this album cost 'about £45' to record, the level of professionalism behind tracks like Boredom (I'm IMng in this, uh, movie, but it doesn't move me) reveal a side to this band that is meaningful and, dare I say it, anthemic? Friends of Mine is lean and distraught and I Love You, You C3ig Dummy is short, but by no means sweet. Don't file Howard Devote's Buzzcocks with pants rock graduates from the Sid Vicious Academy Of Punk, give them a drawer of their own because this is one bootleg that is worth Gemma O'Donnetl listening to.

! Chart 01

GABRIELLE

02 03

SHANIA TWAIN

04

SANTANA

chorus, sound of an Oasis cover, with another affable but totally forgettable song. While Oasis can (often) produce a mediocre record, the MacNamara brothers carry it to another level. When Embrace sound the same, it just sounds like this • mediocre.

Luke Pfowman

ltj bukem suspended space ep The original master of mellow drum & bass retums with a quartet of smoky jazz flavours that are as likely to find favour with men sporting goatee beards as with teenagers in huge trousers. Deep, textured and funky, this is music equally at home in the back room or the bass bin.

Will Lakeman

chicane don't give up On the smorgasbord of dance, this is probably the blandest thing on the menu. Despite enlisting the vocal services of Bryan Adams (yes, that one), this is the kind of faceless rubbish that even hardcore clubbers pay little attention to. Uft music for the larging-it generation.

Anthony Love/1

rise come on over TRAVIS

the man who supernatural

OS onMACYGRAY how life Is

06

BRITNEY SPEARS

07 08

MOBY

09

bellatrix the girl with the sparkling••.

baby one more time play SCLUB7

s club party STEREOPHONICS

word gets around FATBOY SLIM

1 0 you've come a long way baby

breakbeat era bullitproof Contrary to the collective's title, Bullitproof sounds much more drum & bass than breakbeat. Whatever the case, fans of Roni Size's New Forms will enjoy the signature jazz-punk snarl of singer Lennie Laws and the solid musical partnership of Size and Die. Nothing really new here, but not a bad effort nevertheless.

Mlscha Gilbert

the

eve-n t

inspected: film

15

the talented mr ripley starring:

released: showing at:

matt damon jude law gwyneth paltrow cate blanchett out now uci

There was an episode of Seinfeld a couple of years ago where the character Elaine "came outâ&#x20AC;˘ as the only person who would admit that she didn't like The English Patient but felt that she couldn't actually tell anyone because it was held in such high esteem. I suspect there were a fair number of people who felt the same way but whose opinions of the film were warped by rave reviews and numerous Oscar nominations. To not like the film became a travesty. LuckilY. for Anthony Minghella's latest feature it has been largely overlooked by the Academy (never a very accurate judge in the first place). Hopefully, it can, therefore, be judged on what it really is, rather than what you are told it is ... which, ironically enough, leads me to tell you what I think it is.

Matt Damon stars as the eponymous Ripley, a poor pianist who, through a twist of fate, gets mistaken by shipping tycoon Mr Greenleaf for a Princeton graduate. Ripley, stunned by the offer of money, agrees to go to Italy, on Greenleafs behalf, and in turn persuading his rebellious son, Dickie (Law) to return to America and live up to his responsibilities.

His trip to Italy does not go exactly to plan. On meeting Dickie and¡ his girlfriend, Marge (Paltrow) he becomes seduced by their way of life and almost

immediately starts to idolise and love the very person he has been sent to bring back, the very person with whom his life becomes entangled with tragic consequences. What makes Ripley work is the powerful performances of the two male leads. To accept the role of Ripley is a creditable one for Matt Damon, more used to playing the aii-American antihero than this socially uncomfortable misfit. Add to this Ripley's homosexuality, then you have to take your hat off to the actor for taking what could be a potentially career damaging role. To his credit, he fills the part with a suitable degree of pathos and understanding of a man gradually losing control and continually striving "to be a fake somebody [rather) than a real nobody".

Although less thrilling than might have been hoped, especially in the last half hour, Minghella has created a sumptuous work with consistently good performances. Law, in particular, fills out a role that IS destined to make people stand up and notice.

Even Paltrow woi'Xs well, although it is quite satisfying when Gate Blanchett, as aspiring socialite Meredith, manages to outshine her, with only fifteen minutes screen time. As an ensemble effort, The Talented Mr. Ripley is effortlessly entertaining and visually stunning.

Adam Chapman

three kings starring:

released: showing at:

george clooney mark wahlberg spike jonze friday, march 03 odeon and uci riverside

At first glance this may seem like the average gunha, 'God save America' film celebrating the end of a war where the USA kicked Saddam's butt.

Thankfully this breaks from the stereotypical mould, although you could be mistaken by the Starship Trooper-esque, raucous army celebration at the opening of the film. Writer and director David Russell attacks American foreign policy with both

humour and skill, making 'the enemy' more than a faceless opponent. This is one of the main themes in a tale of four soldiers who, at the end of a relatively uneventful 'war', find a map to Saddam's secret stash of Kuwaiti bullion. Sergeant Major Archie Gates (Clooney) is about to retire, Sergeant Troy (Wahlberg) has just become a father, Chief (Ice Cube) believes that if God put the gold there then it's for the taking, and Colonel Vig (the increasingly ubiquitous Jonze) is ... well ... slightly slow; so for their own reasons they decide to make a bid to become millionaires. At the outset their only problem is an over zealous news reporter, but it soon expires that post-war Iraq is full of atrocities

that they have to choose to ignore as they are commanded or to face as a reality. Though the Americans were prepared to take credit for rescuing the East and encouraging rebellion, it was clearly less enthusiastic in its support for the unrest it created. The eventual cry of "God save America" is purposely dripping with irony. The greed that drives the soldiers to begin their mission is soon overshadowed by a desire to finish the job they started, though it means sacrificing their unblemished view of war with something far more disturbing at the cost of innocent Iraqi lives. This feeling is not restricted to the screen but transmits into the minds of the audience; through the astute

way Russell directs the violence it is difficult to remain unaffected. We are not faced with the clinical treatment given by other films of the genre where four bullets will kill twenty people in. the space of two seconds. Instead bullets are shown in slow motion travelling towards each victim, the result of which is shown in graphic detail, actually inside the body. Shot in a deliberately washed out way Three Kings is as visually impressive as is the acting is powerful, with both Clooney and Wahlberg putting in career defining performances. To miss this would be a travesty, for it is a fantastically well acted film, but also as an intense exploration of the modern myths of war.

Tan/a Neumann

17

the green mile

p,

starring:

released: showing:

tom hanks michael clarke-duncan gary sinise friday, march 03 uci, odeon

Clocking in at precisely three hours long, you could be forgiven for thinking that The Green Mile had been tailor-made with Oscars in mind. Length doesn't always determine whether a film wins awards but generally it helps, Titanic, Gone with the Wind, and Saving Private Ryan to name but a few.

There are some who say that you should never judge a film by the size of its reel but having been nominated for four of those coveted golden statues The Green Mile seems to have fulfilled its objective.

Although whether the 'best sound' Oscar is highly sought after is perhaps debatable to those not in the inner sanctum of film making. Possibly of greater interest are nominations for best supporting actor (Michael Clarke-Duncan), best adapted screenplay and best film. Sometimes, however, a film is nominated for Oscars, not based solely on length, but because it just happens to be very good, and that would certainly seem to be the case with

The Green Mile.

The Green Mile is a stretch of tiled corridor leading from the prison cells to the electric chair. Residing in the last cell is John Coffey, a convicted child rapist and murderer. At six foot seven he is an

imposing figure, though it is soon obvious to the chief prison guard (Tom Hanks) that Coffey could not be capable of murder. In fact, he is gentle to the point of being scared of the dark and is portrayed throughout as a Christ-like figure (hence the initials), healing Hanks' urinary infection, and performing small miracles.

In a film where the entire cast work well as an ensemble as well as giving superb individual performances, which is to be expected considering their previous Oscar record, it is a mouse (Mr Jingles) who plays Eduard Delacroix's prison pet who steals the show. He deserves a nomination for best actor providing what little light relief there is. This is much needed considering that large proportions of the cast are ~ntenced to die.

As1de from this, there are some shocking {pardon the pun) execution scenes, where averting the eyes may be advised.

The Green Mile could, however, have been made shorter, and still have been as effective, but brevity is something that director, Frank Darabont, has had a problem dealing with in the past. His last prison set movie, The Shawshank Redemption, was felt to be too short at two and a half hours. Incidentally Shawshank was also adapted from a prison-set Stephen King story, and nominated for best film. In the end, regardless of quality (it really is exceptional) only one thing is certain, the sound is amazing- Academy take note.

Kathryn Hlnchliff

the event, wednesday, march 01, 2000 J

.,

16

pages the man with the golden arm nelson algren "'"' .-$._,.;~~

Set in the grimy Ch1cago underworld, populated by small time criminals, punks, prostitutes and wise guys, Nelson Algren路s bleak novel, The Man with the Golden Arm tells the dark and desperate story of part-time hustler and full-time heroin addict, Frankie Machine. Frankie IS 'The Dealer', who struggles to survive in a路n environment where poverty breeds cnme, violence and despair.

Algren's novel offers no sense of light reli ef for his reader, as he sympa thetically, yet forcefully depicts the humourless lives of the assortment of characters surround ing the unfortunate Frankie. These include his nagging, crippled wife, Sophie; the saloon bar stripper, Molly; the punk, Sparrow: the drug dealer, Nifty Loui e, and the policeman who struggles to cope with the thin line between the corrupt fo rce of the law and the criminal world with which he so mercilessly deals.

Central character Machine dreams of escape from the desperation of Chicago slum life, but he is confi ned by poverty and knows of no other world save that of the petty thief. This is the harsh story of his

'

gradual and brutal realisation that the only escape ava ilabl e is provided by the sharp point of the needle, wh ich penetrates his vein at such high cost. The frustrated life led by Frankie and the lives of those around him are frequently interrupted by violence. it is this aggression that prov1des an outlet for the utter despair th at each character feels . In these circumstances, fnend is unwittingly turned against friend, for in Algren's world, nobody can tru ly be trusted.

The Man witll the Golden Arm is beau tifully, even poetically narrated by its Chicago born and bred author, and the fact that Algren knows the world wh ich he so effortlessly depicts all too we ll is never lost on the reader.

Algren's novel is of a type which many readers will undeniably find familia r. Yet while the cha racters seem stereotypical and the plot fairly predictable, the story of Frankie Machine is nevertheless written with a certain charm and elegance that marks th is first eve r winner of the National Book Award well worth the read .

Lucy Sacre

theatre t ranslations maddermarket theatre The Macldermarket theatre has a distinctive atmospl1ere: the wooden structure gives an air of c1v1lised dinginess, and a definite sense of history made 1t well suited to Bnan Frief's play representmg Ireland as a part of colon1al Bnta1n.

Translations is set m Donegal in the 1830s, the years m which the BritiSh Army carried out its famous survey of Ireland to angliCISe the country and formalise its position in Bntain's empire. The play focuses on a small community in a v1flage called Ballybeg (or Baile Beag, the lnsh name), and the actio n is set in the loca l 'hedge school'. The rhythm oi everyday life is well established before the turbulent events with the British Army shatter the small community. What rea lly rema ins at the end?

For the audience on ly a remnant of the traditional Irish cul ture and an overwhelming feeling of llopelessness.

The characters were mostly well defin ed, although some stood out as performances more fine ly tuned than others. Tim Ashwelf's Doalty was exceptional , with an energised and engaging rebellious flair. The most disappointing performance was that of Bev Jordan as Maire, the on ly character to welcome the English presence. Although she had Maire's strength

exhibition anderson collection of art nouveau sainsbury centre Visiting the Sainsbury Centre is on most students' 'must do once ' list. If there weren't already enough good reasons why you should have been , the Art Nouveau e~hibi tio n offers yet another as the glamour of 19th ce ntury fin de siecle design comes to UEA. Th e art nouvea u movement descri bes a diverse but coherent movemen t that dated from the 1890s to the 1900s in Europe and America. it was an attempt to fu se together decorative art with functional design, and everyday objects such as vases, tables, poste rs and gobl ets, were transformed in the hands of nouveau artists into exqu isite objects of desire.

The fea tured works of Emille Gaffe and Loetz are beautiful examples of th is fusion . Their series of vases are quite stunning; moulded glass with soft organic shapes and translucen t co lours, which make the vessels look almost weightless but yet solid. Th e effect is refreshingly modern and even futu ristic in a retro sort of way; this brought to my mind old episodes of Star Trek and the goblets that the aliens always seemed to be drinking their

luminous fruit juice fro m.

The other artefacts on display demonstrate the concern with deta il and intricate design of art nouveau. Due in part to the influence of Japanese print, all the decorative designs retain a si mpl icity that one associates with Zen inspired art . The work exh ibited shows a striking attempt to meld the th emes of a return to nature and simpl icity, the use of innovative commercia l technology with a gaze to the future and the flamboyance of the decorative arts and crafts. Th e resu lt is remarkably modern, and ai rily fa miliar in many ways. If that wasn't enough art nouveau for the art-starved student, there is more. Those more intrepid of you can observe the examples of art nouveau architecture in good of' Norwich town centre.

Unlikely as it might first seem, the outside facade of Jarrold's department store is in the art nouveau style, and the ornate and til ed royal arcade is another example of English art nouveau. Whoever said that you couldn't appreCiate art and shop at th e same time?

Ayo Mansaray

the event, wednesday, march 01, 2000

of character and vitality, there was a refin ement lack1ng in her realisation of the role . Perhaps this is an ephemeral criticism; however there was definitely something lacking.

The Engl1sh soldier Yolland, played by George Norton, had the essence of the charac ter in his performance.

Norton's rol e was certainly problematic for he had to convey at once a curious respect for the Irish people and cultu re and yet help to in some way destroy 1t: "The day I arrived m Ballybeg - no, Baile Beag - I had a curious sensation. it's difficult to describe. it was a momentary sense of discovery; a sense of recognition ... " However Norton's performance did not always exp loit the comic potential of his character, rendering hi m perhaps a little to stoic.

This is perhaps a fault of the direction, which was generally a subliminal force in the play but was certainly frayed around the edges. A special mention must also go to the technical product ion, specifically the lights and set.

Both were complementary and enhanced the Intimacy of the play's atmosphere.

Overall the even 1ng was an experience both in triguing and thought provo king yet one somewhat hamstrung by its many faults.

Aimee Forrester

pages not fade away jim dodge You know that feeling when you get to th e end of a page and realise that you haven' t actually read it, even though you have been reading, and you have to go back to t he top and read it again, this ti me for rea l? Well , this book is one of those. The troubl e with Not Fade Away is that it is written about a culture which has been pretty much done to death, namely the American 1960s drug scene, fast ca rs and 'loser' cha racters who set out to find themselves with the help of hallucinogens and long road trips.

This is a novel about a social drop -out (George) who earns his money by wrecking fast cars in insurance sea ms. One of the jobs turns into a pilgrimage to return the car to its rightful owner (who is actually dead, and George doesn't know whe re he's buried), 路 and to find 'the true spirit of rock & roll ', whatever that may be.

The novel uses slang words associated with the American culture of drugs and driving, which makes it fairly inaccessible to those of us who don't understand these terms of expression, although for

those who possess the appropriate dictionary it could become a gripping read . The style is highly descriptive, and often falls into unnecessary overwriting: " ... a snorting herd of adolescent ma les, frenzied into some giant squirt of young warrior hormones ... " Occasionally the writing was touching, and even lyrical, one particu lar example, but by no means the best, reads " ...jazz, heard live and close and smoky, with the ta ste of whiskey in your mouth and a high stepping woman in the corner of your eye, just took me away. Lifted me right out of myself. I don't know anyth ing about art, but I do know when I'm gone."

The simplicity of this mixed with the clarity of the character's in trospection creates something very special inside the readers head. Howeve r, moments like this were fleeting and in evita bly the prose wou ld sl ide into cliche. Ultimately the author promises something good, and then ru ins it with enough cheese to fill a Ploughmans.

Aimee Forrester

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video: mickey blue eyes

his is the story of dashing Michael (Hugh Grant), ne manager of an auction house in New York, 1ho unassumingly bumbles his way into the heart 1f school teacher Gina (Jeanne Tripplehom), who ~st happens to be part of the Gratziosa crime amily. Simply a film based on the premise; uldn't Hugh Grant make a hilarious gangster? t while the film appears to be a little different in lot to the usual formula of foppish Hugh stuttering is way in to love with a beautiful American girl, a Notting Hill or Four Weddings and a Funeral; in ractise, despite the slightly menacing gangsters d Mafia antics, Micky Blue Eyes too, relies avily on the tried and tested familiar scenes in hich Hugh declares his undying love, and finally ops babbling long enough to say something mantic. is is not to say that Hugh doesn't make a medy gangster; when inevitably he gets drawn to the web of organised crime, namely by ctioning paintings by a Malta member to help under money, his attempts to impersonate mob tch phrases are extremely funny. But at the end the day, Hugh does, it seems, only ever play

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one character and in this sense the film is simply yet another "Hugh flick. • Whatever your personal take on Mr Grant, the supporting characters led by James Caan are perfectly well acted, with a strong performance from John Ventimiglia as the son of Don Vito (The Butcher) Gratziosa, who whilst being a completely unbalanced menace, is to an extent likeable. Jeanne Tripplehom (Basic Instinct), as the apple of Hugh's eye is dreadfully irritating and gives Katy Hill a run for her money in the big neck stakes. Throw in some extras from Goodfellas and some token English idiots, and that's pretty much the film. Micky Blue Eyes is not an inspiring piece of film making, it is an average romantic comedy, .it has enough amusing moments to get by, and nothing in it is·too cringe-worthy (except perhaps certain elements of Miss Tripplehom's wardrobe) and the soundtrack is great if you're a fan of Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra and those other stars of the Uttle Italy music scene. I won 't suggest that you sprint down to your local video shop immediately, but it's certainly better than other films of its genre, and if you fancy Hugh Grant it's definitely Crystal Akass worth a look.

ame: resident evil three: nemesis

sshhtueueurghhs!!! ' This lovely, gurgly, artwarming sound is the friendly voice of one Mr. emesis. He's a rather big sort of chap who's taken ite a liking to you, so much so in fact that he's rted following you around like a gigantic, thicked murderous lost puppy dog. And this, ntially, is what's new about the long-awaited sident Evil 3. On. the whole it's familiar territory, ith the eerie atmosphere of the two predecessors esent and correct and the usual helpings of mbies, beasties and suchlike lurching towards you say hello. Plotwise, the whole thing revolves round the premise that, surprise of surprises, the mpant T-virus has contaminated another city, this me in Europe, and original RE survivor Jill Valentine hat's you, that is) has been called upon to combat . Perhaps the most successful aspect of RE3 is at it does manage to retain all that was good bout the original two games whilst incorporating me of the better parts of recent clones like Dino risis. New bits include the 'Uve Selection' uences wherein, when the aforementioned uppy-dog turns up to kill you, you have to make a hoice that decides the remaining course of the

game. Graphics and gameplay-wise we're also on familiar territory, with the frankly howwid atmosphere being nicely rendered in elaborate, finely detailed scenes.

Luckily Capcom have decided to leave out the aspects of Dino Crisis that got so damned repetitive; not too many colour-coded kiddie puzzles that take you days and make you feel like a right thicky, and not too much of all that poison -mixing business that you need a chemistry degree and far too much spare time to master either.

On the downside there's perhaps a little too much reliance on the previous sequel's template to allow for a truly original game; once again the controls are almost exactly the same so you do sometimes feel like you're playing the same games as before again.

But darn it, this is overall a spanking good reason to blow thirty quid of your hard-loaned cash, and might help you economise on expensive nights out and, er, friends . So turn the lights out, lock the doors put the cat out for ever, and get Resident Evil 3 -OR of course you could win it in our ridiculously generous giveaway. Don't ever let me hear you say we don't care about you, y'hear?

Steve Collins

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video: rushmore

Telling someone to go out and watch a film about one year in the life of an American public school boy who has a crush on a teacher would ordinarily sound slightly cliche. Except the tale told by American writer/director, Wes Anderson , is no ordinary high school flick. it follows a year in the life of Max Fischer, a fifteen year-old public school boy who is head of every society (president of the French club, chess club, Fencing club, Rushmore Bee Keepers, the head of his own high school theatre group, The Max Fischer Players, just to name a few). it is not that Simple though, Max befriends the local millionaire and beneficiary of the school Herman Blume (Bill Murray), and somehow they become friends, Herman seeing Max in an utterly different light to his children , but at the same time getting used by him just like everyone else in the school.

The plot does not only work on one level though. throughout the film there is an intelligent, but hilarious satirisation of other famous films and genres, 'The Graduate' and detective movie scenes are JUSt a couple to look out for. There are also the plays that Max writes, one of which becomes a very

funny mix of 'Platoon ', 'Full Metal Jacket', 'Apocalypse Now' and surprisingly, some kind of love story. The performances within the film, particularly of Jason Schwarzman, who plays the fifteen year old Max, are exceptional, the actor never failing to make his character utterly plausible when in real terms he could only be an impossibility. Bill Murray is probably the only actor in the world who can make you laugh when playing an alcoholic millionaire who hates his everything about his life including his ch ildren and his marriage.

The critics loved this film and it is easy to see why, but there are some elements that could warrant some people becoming divided over how successful the film actually is. If you expect a film with Bill Murray at the centre i.e. 'Groundhog Day' all over again, you will be disappointed. it is not a typical American film , and a common complaint seems to be people saying that it was very good , but they couldn 't watch it again. But at just ninety minutes running time this film is very easy to watch, very funny, original and entertaining, so don 't miss it. Out to rent now.

Metin Alsanjak

• • • • • • w1n w1n w1n w1n w1n w1n !resident evil three games I Resident Evil 3 is one of the most eagerly anticipated games to be released on Playstation since, ooh, the last one. And quite rightly too, cos it's fantastic. Not only do you get to kill things indiscriminately, b_ut you also get the chance to piss off all the people you live with by becoming antisocial and monopolising the television for hours on end. In order to celebrate this momentous event and your impending loss of friends , we at The Event have saved up our pennies, scrimped and saved, and let our pets starve so that we could get hold of two copies to give away free! To YOU! Cos we're just nice like that. All you've got to do is answer this one deceptively simple . question and then stick your answer in the competion box, or come up to the Concrete office and drop your answer in. The question is ...

What flavour of Monster Munch is the pink monster's favourite?

Yes, it's difficult, I know, but don't think for a minute that we'll accept any quibbling or prevaricating. The judge's decision is final. So there.

Ithe thin red line video's I Well we've really pushed the boat out this time. Yes, not only are we going to give away free computer games, but videos, too! And not just any videos, oh no. Thanks to those lovely people at 20th Century Fox, we have two copies of The Thin Red Line Collector's Edition to give away, absolutely free. and it just so happens that this particular fi lm is one of the most celebrated war movies in recent years, nominated for no less than seven Acadamy Awards. Nothing but the best here, see. To win this quite fabulous prize answer the simply following question , Wh ich war is The Thin Red Line a portrayal of? it's as easy as that. Put your answer in the Concrete competition box in the Hive or bring it up to the office.

the event, wednesday, march 01, 2000

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soaps Ooh dear. trouble in the Square as usual. Little Joe gets h1s birthday party gatecrashed by none other than his own mum. Beppe and Rosa are unsurpnsmgiy fed up about the whole thmg, and we can expect that this particular tug of love is about to come to a head. lan continues 1n l1is one man quest to be the most hateful (in both senses of the word) man m the Square, ever, wh1ch IS qu1te some feat. When h1s new nanny and the kids interrupt a meeting with hiS bank manager he has one of h1s usual 'shout first apologise later' strops. Most d1sturbmg of all, though, 1s the romantiC blossoming between Sonia Jackson and Martin Fowler. After the1r drunken exchange over a bottle of whisky, we are set to see the most ugly couple in soap ever to be caught m a w1ll-they won't-they plotline. Elsewhere, in Neighbours, Tad's about to step on old floppy-Jowels Harold's toes when he has a kerazy party

as soon as the olds are out of earshot.

He's gone off the rails a bit ever s1nce he found out he is adopted, and this time he's go1ng to go a bit too far. Not only do hot dogs get vom1ted everywhere, but big H's beloved tuba gets dented. Ever-considerate, the boys take the damaged instrument (which incidently looks and sounds exactly like its similarly injured owner) to be repaired, but somehow manage to get it run over by a truck. Doh! poor old Harold IS really gonna whop some ass this time - unless they can somehow get around it. .. The main storylines now 1nvolve Amy's less than fa1thful shenanigans beh ind the back of our beloved Laaaance, - desp1te the fact that he's declared his undying love for herl Also, b1g Joe Scully's been made capta1n of the cricket team over Karl Kennedy, giving some added tension to the Ramsey Street air. In Brookside, . Susannah is continuing her quest to

become slapper of t11e year by bedding ex-husband Max, and Nathan fights to save his relationship w1th Jacqu1. Over in the Yorkshire Dales there 1s leap year fun m the Woolpack this week, as the villagers celebrate the return and birthday of Laura Johnson, one of crippled Chris's ex sex I busmess partners. Not everyone is 1n the mood for a party though, as nympho Sarah Sugden looks on long1ngly at toy boy sex-slave Ritchie as he fl1rts with Angie in the pub. Whilst things seem to be on an even keel for Kelly and Ray for once, 111 the D1ngle household 1t's a different story; since Nellies return she's really got her boot 1n and caused complete havoc on the farm.

Elsewhere, the Reynolds are reach1ng the end of their tether as the1r tearaway daughter Ollie takes her rebellious streak too far. Oh er.

Gemma Ca tchpole, Kate Wenlock, Twiggy Flatt

esseni;ai tv: 01 planet of the apes channel 4 friday 04, 10 March The Hollywood goss1p columns were buzz1ng last week w1th the news that T1m Burton, he of Batman and Edward Scissorhands fame, IS in the late stages of negot1at1on over d1rectmg the Twentieth Century Fox remake of Planet of the Apes'. CoinCiding w1th thiS, Channel Four 1s re-showmg the anginal epic 1968 film and two of 1ts four sequels. The season begms w1th the ongmal and best of the five films, wh1ch rece1ved an honorary award for make-up and des1gn. Assuming you haven't seen any of the repeats over the last twenty-five years. Charles Heston stars as George Taylor commander of a spaceship whose crew accidentally advance more than a thousand years in a deep sleep and emerge onto an unknown desolate planet. They soon find ·themselves amongst a tnbe of prim1t1ve human l1fe, bemg chased by the aforementioned hirsute ones on horseback. Once captured, h1s hopes of stay1ng al1ve rest on two chimpanzee sc1entists and one of the mute female 'savages· with an 1mposs1bly perfect complex1on, whom he chnstens ·Nova'. The film's most famous scene. that of the Statue of Uberty buned 111 the sand,

essentiat the ex files/sex in the cit satincally brought home the moral difficulty of humankind's own obsession with power and mab11ity to prevent its consequences. The sequels stil l recognise the moral issues but cannot prevent the format slipping 1nto com1c-strip territory. 'Beneath .. .' carries on the saga, in which Taylor and Nova find yet another race of ostracised mutant humans m the ru1ns of New York, who would be totally harmless if not for the atom bomb they obsessively worship. The doomed Taylor disappears for the majonty of the film, mak1ng way for yet another grounded space adventurer, appeanng virtually as a stand-in ratr'ler than a character 111 hiS own nght.

The literally 'explosive' ending for the humans made way for a greater focus on the apes 111 the third offenng.

'Escape . .' shows an early mfluence on the plot to Terminator 11. The two chimpanzee scientiSts go back to the past when humankmd was st1ll runn1ng the show. and find they may be threatened with never having lived w1th the humans abortmg the l1fe of the1r child. Charlts hasn't turned up for the remake though they seem to be hop1ng that Matt Damon or 'K1ng of the World' Leonardo d1 Capno m1ght. Kmg Lou1s perhaps? Kmg Kong? Watc\1 this space.

Steve Col/ins

channel 4 wednesdays, 22.30 I 23.00 Oh dear, th1s seems to be going a bit far now, doesn't 1t? We've had our Bndget-JonesHornby-Gayle's agoniz1ng over past flames and trawling unsuspecting readers through the murky wastes of the1r rumous love lives, and now they're letting ordinary people do it.

Whether or not this proves to be pos1t1vely excruc1at1ng or touchmg remains to be seen. but md1cat10ns are It'll make pretty compulsive v1ew1ng either way. Each episode of the senes follows a person as they take an 'emotional' JOurney 1nto the past to meet up with several of the1r prev1ous partners. Mot1vat1ons for thiS rather penlous quest down memory lane differ. whether it's a turn1ng po1nt 1n the1r l1ves, plam cunos1ty, a need to let go of the past, or a desire to p1ss on old flames from a very great he1ght. Will th1s prov1de the des1red expurgation of pent-up regrets or simply a lot of embarrassed bemusement and an apologetiC ·er... who?'. it w1ll prove entertaining v1ewing for anybody who's ever sat on the bus and

es e ial harry hill

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channel04 sunday, febru ary 27 Just a fortnight after the premature honour of being the subject of This is Your Life ·, Dr. Matthew Hall returns for a thi rd series of his award-winning show. Riva lling the Fast Show for repetit1ve schoolya rd ph rases, the high collared one blends animal obsession, music nostalgia and oh-so-cool su rrealism.

As usual, Harry's JOined by big brother Alan Hill; (alias award winning 'Barman' AI Murray), Burt 'Not now Kato! ' Kwouk and Stouffer the Cat. (Sorted, respect is due etc.) New faces include one time bubbly bimbo Gayle Tuesday (Brenda Gilhooley) as goat loving Bridie McGinty. Tarzan also makes a guest appearance.

Of course the real stars of the show, the allsinging, all dancing troops of badgers are back.

Old fa 1thfu ls Tasmin Archer (Badger) and Gareth Southgate (Badger), are joined by a new recru it in - you've guessed 1t - a Manchester United strip adorned David Beckham Badger.

The man shou ld feel honoured. Whether Posh Spice Badger turns up to completely direct his life for him remains to be seen. The mostly aborted Badger Parade F1nale is completely replaced this time by 'Space Station Badger';

the event, wednesday, march 01, 2000

wondered about their fellow passengers· mysterious pasts. Also gracing your screens th1s month is Sex and the City, returning for a new senes w1th the same quartet of New York Power Lad1es who like sex and lots of it thank you very much. Rumpy mad. this lot. Especial\ Emmy Award nominee Sarah Jessica Parker, who stars as Carne. whose personal l1fe 1s the fodder for the society column she wntes every week.

That'll be likely to get her mto trouble then. W follow Carrie's break-up w1th Mr B1g. and her subsequent hooking up with a ·new Yankee'.

Miranda's gett1ng a little bit cheesed off w1th too much ·man talk'. and there's some crotch trouble as Samantha gets fed up w1th her chap's d1minut1ve member and Charlotte's squeeze 1ns1sts on adJUSting h1mself all the t1me. Next week sees Mr B1g still hanging around as Carne mv1tes h1m to her party.

Sam w1ll struggle to tell her boyfriend of h1s shortcomings, Charlotte gets a puppy as a ·man replacement' and M1randa musters up the courage to talk dirty with her lover.

Twiggy Flatt

an epic intergalact1c journey to battle an outbreak of scurf (cous1n of dandruff.) Can Captain Vosene (G.S. Badger), Lieutenant L'Oreal (T.A Badger) and crew fight off the evil dastardly Darth Camembert?

Other new highlights to the new-look-butmuch-the same format show include a new We lsh language soap; a cutting edge view of the fashion world in 'Fashion Cafe', and of course a regula r news feature, this week discussing the problem of piles (not to ment1o numerous Savlon jokes).

Those who've managed to miss Phi\ Jupitus over the last few weeks, on any of his numerous game shows can see h1s tnbute to eighties castrato meisters The Communards.

Equally, those who've been m1ssing the likes o Bobby Davro and Russ Abbott in their lives can catch them later in the series.

If you've followed the show from the beginning then you should already know what to expect.

You've got to have a system. of course .

If you've stared blankly at this fee ling you aren't in on the JOke, then you've probably dec1ded 1t's all rubbish and have already found something better to do with your life. One of Channel Four's only clean late night comedy shows. it's a refreshing alternative to the likes of the 11 o'clock show.

Steve Col/ins

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the essential guide to what's going on in norwich over the coming fortnight

event horizon: film cinema city the winslow boy it's a period drama, mvolv1ng a Bnt1sh lawyer bemg hired to defend a young navel cadet accused of theft in tu rn of the century London. Made in 1998 in the USA. wednesday, march 01, 14.30 bringing out the dead Big-up style drama directed by Martin Scorsese.

Paramed1c N1colas Cage becomes haunted by h1s patents who won't die and ghosts who won't live in a world that IS seemmg1y sp1nnmg out of control and where 3 + 3 = 55. He inevitably quest1ons h1s own san1ty m New York's Hells Kitchen. Gnpp1ng Stuff. wednesday, march 01 and thursday 02, 14.30, thursday, march 02 , 17.45 all about my mother Very popular Franco-Span1sh film, a melodrama directed by the respected Pedro Almodovar. The storyline's very difficult to summanse, but 1t mvolves a transvestite father's son be1ng k1lled m an accident, and an intriguing search to tell the father the news ... wednesday, march 01 and thursday, march 02, 20.15 dogma Although not to everyone's tastes, Kevin Smith's comedy about two angels (played by Matt Damon and Ben Affleck) trying to get back mto Heaven havmg been banished by God 1s definitely one to catch before 1t IS released on video. fnday, march 03, saturday 04 and monday, march 06, 17.30; tuesday march 07, thursday, march 09, 20.15; tuesday, march 07, 14.30 tadpole and the whale French Canad1an film about a girl who IS never happ1er than when 1n the water talking to aquatic mammals. Whales end up in grave danger and Little M1ss Dolittle IS Involved in the1r rescue. it's a children's film, so some students may find 1t a little difficult to cope w1th the screammg brats. saturday, march 04, 14.30 the testa ment of dr mabuse German thnller. An insane master cnm1nal d1es 1n pnson, h1s psychiatrist believes h1mself to be a remcarnatlon in th1s class1c parable about H1tler and the Th1rd Re1ch. sunday, march 05, 14.30 get carter M1chael Came stars m the defin1t1ve Bntlsh gangster f11ck. London Wide-boy Ca1ne goes to Newcastle to 1nvest1gate h1s brother's death. sunday, march 05, 17.00 onegin A bored anstocrat callously rejects a young girl's declaration of love, only to find himself falling deliriously 1n love with her years after she gets marned. Serves him right for being a goddamn fool.

Brilliantly directed w1th Ralph Fiennes and Uv Tyler. sunday, march 05, 19.30

angela 's ashes A fi lm based on a true story. A tale of a boy raised in the slums of Umenck. His father dri nks h1s wages away, leaving his mother to raise him them in poverty and near-starvation, but inspiring the boy to write with eloquence, exuberance and forgiveness.

With Em1ly Watson. friday, march 03, saturday, march 04 and monday, march 06, 20.15; tuesday, march 07 to thursday, march 09, 5.30pm; thursday, march 09, 2.30pm music of the heart Meryl Streep becomes a smgle mother who teaches the v1olin to the underpnvileged children of East Harlem. A sentimental fl1ck. wednesday, march 08, 14.30 topsy-turvey Cnt1cally acclaimed tale of Gilbert and Sull1van by Mike Le1gh. W1tness the struggles and differences between a cold, emotionless lync1st and a hedonistic composer. Watch the struggles of the opera cast m and out of dress rehearsals. M1ght be interesting. fnday, march 10, Saturday, march 11 and monday, march 13, 20.15; tuesday, march 14 to thursday, march 16, 17.30 stills on screen Contemporary an1mat1on from Norw1ch Art and Des1gn students, based on ICOnic, histone photographs, and other creative artefacts that cannot be told adequately 1n 10 words. sunday, march 12, 20.00 the world is not enough 19th James Bond mov1e. Usual Bond storylme.

Usual Bond women, usual Bond gadgets, w1th Pierce Brosnan as Mr J.Bond. Entertam1ng, but the best James Bond is Go/deneye, on the N1ntendo 64. saturday, march 11, 14.30 rushmore An Amencan high-school comedy starnng B1ll Murray. 15 year old Max, k1ng of 'extracurncular act1v1ty' faces expuls1on from school, and ends up falling 1n love With a teacher. Sounds l1ke Channel 5 fodder, but IS actually very good. sunday, march 12 at 14.30 goodfellas A Martm Scorsese ep1c. The qumtessentlal gangster flick . A classic. Must see. Only gangster film you need. Far better on c1nema than on TV. Th1s 1s a chance you must take to see th1s film at 1ts best. sunday, march 12, 17.00 sleepy hollow A VISUally raVIShing and eXCiting horror film With Johnny Depp. Storyline revolves around mystery decapitations by a headless horseman, and our hero, a scientific policeman, attemptmg to solve th1s mayhem. it's a major studio production, and not a

cheap straight-tO-VIdeo affair that th1s genre seems to be 'friendly' with, so 1t should be quality. fnday, march 10, saturday, march 11 and monday, march 13, 17 .30; tuesday, march 14 to thursday, march 16, 20.30; tuesday, march 14, 14.30

union films thomas crown affair thursday, march 02 21:00 P1erce Brosnan IS a bored tycoon, so he masterminds the robbery of a Monet. Yet, even th1s fa1ls to exc1te him until some mavenck 1nsurance 1nvest1gator turns up. A slick, cool and stylish remake of a 1960's classic that starred Steve McQueen. run lola run fnday, march 03 21:00 An energetic, vibrant story about Lola, who has 20 mmutes to find 100,000 Deutschmarks or her boyfriend will be killed by drugs barons. CritiCally acclaimed German film w1th a superb soundtrack.

See Essential film 2 yojimbo monday, march 06 18:30 A tale of a wandenng samurai who tncks two rival gangs of cut-throats 1nto destroying each other.

Bnlliantly stylish Japanese film that msp1red Sergio Leone's 'Rstful of Dollars' . felicia 's journey tuesday, march 07 21:00 A seventeen-year old lnsh girl searches England for the father of her unborn child - a Bntlsh soldier who lied about his 1dent1ty. She soon ends up w1th a solitary bachelor who also misleads her. Obviously not her day. sixth sense thursday, march 09 19:00 Film starring Bruce W1ll1s that has more twiSts in 1ts plot than tangled stnng. Spooky tale, w1th Haley Joel Osment as a k1d who sees dead people. east is east fnday, march 10 21:00 Damn funny Brit1sh film . Laugh at the ruct1ons of a sevent1es Salford As1an fam1ly as the father tnes to ma1ntam h1s authonty over his wayward offspnng, who are caught between arranged -marnages and bell -bottoms. If anyone finds th1s film unfunny on the bas1s that 1t's not 'politically correct' then g1ve them a good slap, because they don't know what they're talking about. arsenic and old lace sunday, march 12

19:00 Th1s film IS msane, literally! Two dear old ladies mv1te sad , old lonely men mto the1r bungalow and po1son them to death. Nephew Cary Grant turns up on the way to hiS honeymoon, discovers what IS go1ng on, and tries to hide it from his fiance and the police. Then his mad brother turns up Intent on torturing and killing everyone. Hilarious 1940 's black farce, with snappy dialogue.

all about my mother monday, march 13 18:30 Very popular Franco-Spanish film , a melodrama directed by the respected Pedro Almodovar. The storyline's very difficult to summanse, but 1t 1nvotves a transvestite father's son be1ng killed 1n an awdent, and an Intriguing search to tell the father the news ... cookie's fortune tuesday, march 14 18:30 No! it's not about a fortune cookie who cann1bal1ses hiS cookie-chum and finds good luck. lt IS actually about a mother and daughter who find an old lady, Cookie dead, and disguise her suic1de as murder and blame the caretaker. Set 1n the Deep South of the USA.

ode on toy story 2 Th1s marks the return of Woody, Buzz and the gang, plus a host of new characters. Woody gets kidnapped by AI, an evil toy collector, and discovers he's actually a valuable vintage collectible. Buzz and the other toys set out to rescue h1m, and along the way, t!le toys find adventure and realise that a child's love IS a fleeting thing .... ahhh. the beach Leo and foxy French lady Vi rginie Ledoyen go to parad1se in Thailand. Everything IS perfect - many drugs are smoked, many fish are caught, many French girls are stolen from the1r boyfriends by Leo (well , only one). Then everything goes wrong. See Essential Film 1. the house on haunted hill Gory cheese-horror fl1ck about a woman 1n a loveless marnage who chooses to hold her birthday party 1n an abandoned lunatiC asylum. Notable only for 1t's cast - superb Geoffrey Rush (Elizabeth, Shine, Shakespeare in Love etc.) and sexy Famke Jansen (Go/deneye). Why they chose this as the1r next career move, God only knows. three kings rev1ewed on page 15 inspector gadget K1dd1e film wh1ch should be left for the very young or the Immensely dumb/bored. B1g screen, live-action adaptation of the eighties cartoon ctass1c about a man w1th many gadgets. Matthew Broderick stars.

use our searchable listings database at www_.concrete-online.co.uk the event, wednesday, march 01, 2000

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is responsible for vi llagers losing their heads.

abe toy story 2 The toys are back in town .... oh yeah. Woody and Buzz discover there are more girls than So Peep in the world - Tour Guide Barbie and Jessie the cowgirl (who has unfairly been called a cross between Geri Halliwell and Chucky) jostle for the boys' attention . t he talented mr ripley This film has possibly the best looking cast ever Jude Law (mmmm), Matt Damon , Gwyneth Paltrow and Gate Blanche!. Set in fifties Italy amongst the (beautiful) expat crowd, Tom Ripley (Damon) worms his way into Dickie Greenleaf's (Law) life in a very scary manner. See review on page 15. star wars - t he phantom menace This old chestnut is still doing the rounds obviously. Battles of good against evil , big old costumes and Ewan McGregor losing his ability to speak in an English accent. angela's ashes True-life accoun t of a boy growing up in Limerick in a poverty stricken family . Starring Emily Watson (Breaking the Waves) and Robert Carlyle as the boy's parents . sixth sen se Successful and alternative-mainstream (if such a thing exists) film about a young boy who has the ability to see ghosts , which scares him quite a lot.

Bruce Willis stars as the man who helps him. ta rzan Disney's latest hand-drawn (as opposed to Toy Story's computer animation) offering. Set in a jungle, it features many a cute gorilla. Warning: this film contains a soundtrack written by Phil Collins. american beauty Excellent portrayal of American suburbia. Stars Kevin Spacey as loser dad who has a major crush

on his teenage daughter's best friend. Annette Benning is his psycho neurotic wife, in this subversive and hilarious look at dysfunctional families .

uci riverside american beauty Twisted and witty take on modern America. it's abou t dysfunctional fami lies, but also about ideas on beauty. Kevin Spacey stars as the disillusioned man , trapped in a loveless dry marriage , who falls in love with his teenage daughter's best friend (Mena Suvari , new wonderkind , although Thora Birch is much better as the daughter). angela's ashes An adaptation of Frank McCourt's autobiography, set in poverty stricken Limerick. The story follows a boy growing up, and it stars Emily Watson and Robert Carlyle as his parents. Somewhat grim in a gritty social realism kind of way. the bachelor Romantic comedy about a man (Chris O'Donnell) who has to get married in 24 hours in order to inherit his wealthy grandfather's money in accordance to the terms of his will. Renee Zellwegger star as the love interest.

abruptly ends, leaving him obsessed with the memory of the ir love. the house on haunted hill Stupid and gratuitously gory horror film set in an abandoned lunatic asylum. The original inhabitants appear in ghost form . Lots of people die. inspector gadget Matthew Broderick stars as the multi-g adgeted one in the live action version of the eighties cartoon. And there 's a girl in it too. the sixth sense Bruce Willis is the child psychologist who tries to uncover a young boy's secret - he has supernatural abilities, and can see ghosts. The boy is scared and unwilling , but together they reveal some startling things ... sleepy hollow Yummy Johnny Depp stars in this children's fantasy/fairy horror tale. The latest offe ring from the talented Mr Burton , it has all the kitsch l}ightmarish delights we expect. Depp is a constable sent to Sleepy Hollow to discover who

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the beach Leonardo di Caprio runs around paradise (in Thailand) wearing not very much at all. He pulls sexy French girls. He catches fish , then goes a bit loopy and suddenly he's in a computer game . The latest offering from th e Trainspotting team, see essential film 1. bu ena vi sta social clu b A superb Wim Wenders film , which chronicles the legendary Cuban performers. it's a documentary which uses original footage , plus most of the musicians as they are now .. end of the affai r Ralph Fiennes and Julianne Moore are the coup le in this Graham Greene adaptation, set in post-war London. They have a passionate affair, which she

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stigmata Patricia Arquette is the lucky girlie who gets to bleed all over in a series of paranormal attacks .

She goes to the Vatican, where Gabriel Byrne sorts her out. the talented mr. ripley See page 15 for review. three kings See page 15 for review. topsy turvy The new film from the master of social realism, Mike Leigh. This, however, is not a social film , it is an account of the composer/librettist team , Gilbert and Sullivan. toy story 2 A fine animated tale starring the original toys (Woody and Buzz, the toy soldiers, Rex , Mr Potato Head and the rest of the gang) in all n adventure. Woody gets kidnapped and meets a feisty cowgirl , and discovers the meaning of life along the way. Sort of.

Listings written and compiled by Astrid r;nrd.<;tnitl and Shakir Khan

lm chart toy story 2 t he beach american beauty the end of the affair house on haunted hill the batchelor double jeopardy angela's ashes topsy turvy the sixth sense

£ 6 ,521,187 £1,966,210 £1,523,175 £552,067 £348,040 £291,736 £273,687 £147,788 £139,700 £103,355

the beach showing at: uci riverside, odeon

run lola run showing at: union films

Although purists will cry buckets of tears at the massacre of Alex Garland's fantastic novel , this film is actually quite enjoyable. Leonardo diCaprio stars as Richard, the American backpacker in Thailand . He meets foxy French lady Francoise and her boyfriend Etienne. When mad Robert Carlyle sli ts his wrists in the hostel room next door to Richard, he leaves a map for our Leo, with directions to 'The Beach'. The three set ou t and discover what they think is paradise (plentiful drugs, sex, friendship , amazing scenery etc.) , but predictably it all goes sour. Taken at face value as an adventure movie, it's very good , especially the ending (although it's not as dark as the novel) . Just ignore all the crappy Richard-going-mad bits, because they're quite cheesy and wholly unconvincing.

Crazy frenetic action art film from Germany. Lola is a sexy red head who has to run a lot in order to save her boyfriend from evil drug barons. The film is split into three segments, in a kind of 'what if. ..?' structure. Each segment starts the same (Lola receiving the news from her boyfriend and running out of the apartment) , but each time she takes different ro utes to get th e100,000 OM she needs for her boyfriend 's freedom. This does get slightly tiresome, but there" plenty of flash MTV-style effects to keep you interested . Animation , stop photography, flash backs, slow motion , it's all in here. Although it would be easy to dismiss this film as fun and throwaway, the red-bleached flashbacks have a lot of interesting things to say about the nature of love and relationships. AND it has a happy ending .

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mal col m brad bury uea - gJg The author of The History Man, Rates of Exchange, Cuts and Doctor Criminale comes to UEA in the latest of the literary talks at the Centre for creative and performmg arts. Event beg1ns at 19.00 in Lecture Theatre One. super fl y mojo's - club n1ght Go make some funky moves and generally shake yo thang at Mojo's tonight. ra mmed 1kon - club mght 'Rammed' is an appropnately agricultural name for a Norw1ch club n1ght really.

Chart mus1c, cheap dnnks and m1n1mal townie presence. pu re swi ng manhattan·s- club n1ght swing it to some smooth grooves with or without your other half down at Manhattan's ton1ght beaver fe ver fat pauly's - club n1ght A n1ght of punk and ska for the skater dood w1th1n us all, featunng Remote Control and support at the newly reopened Fat Pauly's. £3 club tropica na zoom - club n1ght "Don't be apathetiC, be paralytic" says the w1se DJ at this club. I'm not sure whether your GP would agree, but I like the sent1ment. t he seagull theatre royal - play Runn1ng until March 4, The Seagu/1 is one of the great class1cs of world theatre. Set on a beautiful country estate, the play IS "ep1c 1n 1ts philosophical reach, yet funny and deeply mov1ng". Chekhov has the reputation of bemg difficult to understand, but th1s IS a myth spread by A-level drama students - as Adnan Noble (The RSC's Art1st1c Director) says "it IS very easy to look at the black side of Chekhov, but what people forget is that Chekhov IS a wonderful satlnst w1th fantastiC humour." This IS a great opportunity to see the famous RSC who, let's face 1t, are unlikely to v1s1t Norwich agam in the near future.

Daily at 19.30, Mats Thursday and Saturday at 14.30.

T1ckets £3 to £17 pre se nt laughter maddermarket theatre - play Cont1numg from February 24 and running until March 04, Present Laughter IS one of the 'b1g five' m the Coward Canon. The play IS autobiographical, but using the ma1n character (Gary Essendine) to represent Coward himself. "Present Laughter IS about sex, control and celebnty; a modern fable of our times." learn breakdancing art college From 19:00 till 21:00, you can learn to breakdance, thanks to Turntablist Soc1ety members.

Beats ballet lessons.

lcr uea - club night In the ma1n room, we w111 be reliving that school d1sco feeling, w1th added alcohol. In the H1ve, we w111 be largmg 1t to the sounds of the Turntablist Society m an atmosphere of drum & bassness, courtesy of DJs Polo and Cobra. £2.75 advance prese nt laughter maddermarket theatre - play See March 01. Tonight features a free after show discussion.

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the <,eagull theatre royal - play See March 01. e sse ntial t1me - club n1ght Some 'uplifting and prqgress1ve dance' to delight your ears, DJ-1ng from Shpmatt. £2 B4 23:00, £3 after ra ndom dance co mpany - aeon norw1ch playhouse - contemporary dance Aeon IS the final part of the tnlogy commissioned by London's South Bank Centre, preceded by The M1llennarium and Sulphur16. The three pieces are un1ted by their themes of the elements, with a1r being the theme of Aeon. The Evenmg Standard sa1d of Aeon "Mindblowing... like nothing you have seen before."

Performance at 19.00, Tickets £9

exploring 1ssues such as birth, life and death ... and "how to deal w1th bemg dumped 1n eight easy movements".

Performance at 19.30, Tickets £9. performance laughter maddermarket theatre - play See March 01

saturday: 1arch 04 cl assic a nthems a nd dancefloor fi llers time - club night All that's best in clubland, from the night that lives up to its name.

marti n a mis uea- gig Another m the senes of literary talks this week, the author of Money. Time·s Arrow, The Information and Night Train comes to share h1s pearls of w1sdom w1th us at UEA. As always, the event starts at 19.00 1n Lecture Theatre One.

re :fresh 1kon - club night Bet 1t's not that fresh really, I bet 1t's chart hits and club anthems that you can dance all n1ght to.

friday:

03 the thatcher years waterfront - club mght Dance to records from the decade that taste forgot, remembenng as you do that th1s woman dismantled the welfare state and made shoulder pads fashionable. £3/£4 empower fat pauly's - club n1ght Featunng Moonjulce, Jor, and the oh-so-cleverly named Porn Star, this night will make you feel more powerful. Perhaps. · £3 elegant mojo's - club n1ght Come here and Inject a bit of style mto your Friday night out.

saturday rewi nd mojo's - club night I'm not sure I'd want to rewmd Saturday, 1t m1ght all get a bit confus1ng, and the other weekdays are qu1te ok too. If you disagree, then Mojo's 1s the place for you.

performa nce laughter maddermarket theatre - play See March 01

meltdown waterfront - club n1ght lndie, 1nd1e, 1nd1e, indie, 1nd1e, and a little bit of stuff without guitars as well. S1xt1es retro upstairs. £3/£4

charty handbaggy the loft - club n1ght Long-runnmg and popular gay n1ght.

scanly mirrored floors.

da nce club rick's place - club n1ght Rick's Place was clearly last in the queue when it came to getting an imaginative club night name, but at least you know what you're gettmg!

the seagull theatre royal - play See March 01

st udent night liqu1d - club n1ght Cheap dnnks and bang1n ' tunes await you 1f you can tear yourself away from campus and mto the town.

the mo nast ry o f so und rick's place - club n1ght Wear a habit and get m free! No, I'm lymg. They must get sick of all the monk jokes.

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ABCD Fat Pauly's - g1g Yeah, e1ght1es rock lives! Well, sort of. This band are an AC/DC tribute, so you know what to expect, don't you really. UEA band form the support. £4 .. atisfacti o n Hy's - club n1ght Become satisfied by dancmg to top music on hy's

the seagull theatre royal - play See March 01 my li fe a nd other di a sters norw1ch playhouse - play "An evening with Sheridan Morley". Stories of Mr Morley's life with anecdotes featunng stars such as Noel Coward, Gladys Cooper and James Mason.

Performance at 7.30, Tickets £9.

co mplete sto ne rose s waterfront - gig Yes, a covers band of those legendary Mancunians, who, let's face 1t, you're not exactly go1ng to see for real, are you? Go, and count the number of fisherman's hats be1ng worn. £6 sunday service manhattan's club n1ght

SPECIAL OFFER: £6 Off top two pmes llled Ll ur ool~ Just present th1s

aduert at the 11me of booking

S JeCt to au 1lab1llty

gorgeous manhattan's - club n1ght This goes on unt1l FOUR IN THE MORNING! Can you handle it? Try it and see. elit e ikon - club mght Don 't worry about the name, anyone can come to th1s club n1ght 1f they ask n1cely. comm ercial dance and party time - club night Not as b1g as the1r Thursday n1ghts, but st1ll pretty damn classy. hy ti me s hy's - club night Come and get 'hy' (on excitement) tonight and kick the weekend off w1th some dance tunes. the gogmagogs - gobbledygook norw1ch playhouse - play Wntten by a team of wnters mclud1ng the author of Top Girls, Caryl Churchill, Goob/edygook consists of five Interwoven narratives w1th the characters

DRY 7t - SRTURORY 11th HRRCH fues ? 30pm Hat Sat 20Opm 16 oo. £13 oo. fg oo. f3 ~u

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Worship the DJ, pray to the bouncers to let you in, and then probably kneel m front of t11e to1let when you've drunk too much.

extra smooth sunday t11e garden house - club n1ght Buy a pmt of whatever tickles your fancy, and enJOY some drum & bass and hip 11op m the lovely Golden Tnangle.

monday:

germaine greer uea g1g The famo11s fem1n1st comes to Norw1ch to talk about her work wh1ch mcludes Tile Female Eunuch.

Sex and Destiny. Tile Madwoman's Underclotlles. and Tile Whole Woman. alternative indie fat pauly's - club n1ght Does what 1t says on the lin, bas1cally. Ton1ght sees performances by bands Pool, Sp1ndnft and Porn Th1eves (what IS th1s porn band-nammg f1xat1on?)

underground moJo·s - club n1ght 'Go1ng Underground· to hear some 1nd1e and lo-fi?

Don't try be1ng 'Down At The TubestatiOn At M1dn1ght' though, ·cos there do be no subway 1n Norw1ch my dear.

prov1des a spectacular even1ng of t1ghtrope walking, high-speed swmg1ng. human founta1n statues and fabulous live mus1c.

Performances from Tues 7 -Sat 11 at 7.30 and Sat 11 at 2.00.

Tickets from £3.50 to £18.50.

nitin sawhney waterfront- g1g Sawhney·s Beyond SJ(in was one of the surpnse albums of 1999, and N1tm hits Norw1ch to a1r 1t live.

A better option than what's to follow ... £8

furry box york tavern - club n1ght Tnp-hop, funk, chilled tunes and cheap dnnks. and you don't even have to leave the Golden Tnangle.

Excellent.

showtime kareoke fat pauly's - g1g And t11e stars of ton1ght are ... your own good self, should you choose to get up on that stage. free entry

lcr uea - club n1ght If you want to get a taste of hell, and don't qu1te have the t1me to read Dante. then you could try gomg to the LCR, falling to pull the one you adore. and wakmg up w1th an evil hangover the next mornmg. No, I'm not bitter.

tuesday: revival t1me club n1ght The bus1est student n1ght 111 Narndge, no doubt extra busy ton1ght because there·s a Robb1e W1lliams tnbute on ton1ght. Arnve early to avo1d the queues slinky hy's · club 111ght Another student n1ght. And I like the name too.

£2 sanctuary 1kon · club n1ght And a sanctuary w111 be JUSt what you want after a n1ght of p1ssed up clubbers and chart tunes when 1t all gets too much. carwash liQUid · club night Retneve your flares and w1de lapels and go and enJOY some Seventies greats.

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bush lcr · g1g Will they, won't they th1s t1me? Gav and pals hit Norwich once more, and 1f you hear a rumbling sound, then 1t's Kurt Coba1n turnmg 111 hiS grave, thmkmg, "Lord, why oh why?". £10.50 circus oz theatre royal - c1rcus For an alternative n1ght at the theatre, C1rcus Oz

the event, wednesday, match 01, 2000

wednesday: superfly moJo's - club n1ght Sevent1es mus1c w1th a funky tw1st to get you grooving. rammed 1kon - club n1ght Does that mean "rammed w1th 11appy punters", or IS 1t a sheep show, or what? pure swing manhattan·s · club n1ght lt don't mean a thmg, 1f 1t a1n 't got that swmg. circus oz theatre royal - c1rcus See March 7.

thursday: 1

£2.75 circus oz theatre royal c1rcus See March 7. the monastry of sound manhattan·s · club n1ght Get up to some 'monk·-y bus1ness at the Monastry of Sound. Oh it'S the way I tell t11em, really 1t IS. charty handbaggy the loft · club n1ght Long-runn1ng, popular gay n1ght. essentia l t1me · club n1ght Alex P IS the star attraction of thiS even1ng, along w1th the usual tasteful mix of sw1sh dance tunes. student night liq uid - club n1gh t The day may change, but the formu la rema1ns the same. Cheap dnnks, hit tunes, and rather a lot of students too.

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hamlet - first cut norw1ch playhouse -play This award-winning version of Shakespeare's Hamlet bnngs a dose of parano1a and thnlls to Norw~ch .

See features for an interview w1th director Jonathon Holloway.

Performances at 19.30 from Thursday 09 Saturday 11. Tickets £9.

friday march 10 primal scream lcr- gig Mus1cal event of the year, anyone? Inexplicably, the Scream have chosen to play Norwich to promote Exterminator, an album you really should own. It'll be great.

SOLD OUT

blank canvas release party two fat pauly's - g1g I don 't know who these Blank Canvas types are, but they do seem to be havmg an exceptionally long party. Tonight: Tnbute to Noth1ng, Charger and Subvert. £4

meltdown waterfront - club night The name 1s obviously meant to make you thmk of big massive nuclear accident type th1ngs, but it's an indie n1ght really. £3/£4

Notebook, Under My Skin, Walking in the Shade and Mora and Dann comes to share her l1terary hmts and secrets w1th the students at UEA. The event starts at 19.00 in Lecture Theatre one

theatre royal - play Adapted by Laclos' novel by Chnstopher Hampton, Les Uaisons Dangereuses IS an ingen1ous tale of betrayal and seduction.

Set m the glittenng salons of 18th Century France, this play became an OscarWinning film and a hit around the world.

Performances from Tuesday 14 - Saturday 18. Tickets from £3.50 - £16.50.

rick's place - club night lt is a club. You dance in 1t. Some things in life are very simple.

sunday march 12

elegant

norw1ch playhouse - play See March 9

uea- gig Author of the booker-prize winning The Good Terrorist as well as The Golden

les liaisons dangereuses

dance club

hamlet - first cut

doris lessing

mojo's - club n1ght , More chart mus1c, this time downstairs 1n good old Mojo's.

waterfront - club night A new decade, another retro club night appears.

This t1me it's the 1990s we are revisiting, so it's Britpop, 'girl power' and other appropriate gubb1ns, with dance anthems upstairs. £4/£3

mojo's - club n1ght MoJo's attempt at injectmg soph1St1cat1on 1nto le vendred1 so1r. Good luck to them, that's what I say.

di ectory:

tuesday march 14

saturday rewind

90's pop luck

eels lcr- gig Ufe IS hard, and so are they, come and see, the eels play. Maybe smger E will have cheered up a b1t by now as well.

£11

revival t1me - club night Busy student n1ght IS here aga1n, no Robbie 'tribute' this time, but lots of students and mus1c and drink.

slinky hy's - club night Also a student n1ght, but with less far to walk.

sunday service gorgeous manhattan's - club night Go clubbing with the beautiful people at Manhattan's.

manhattan 's - club night Religious worship brought bang up to date in a youth-friendly environment w1th no Cliff Richard. I'm lying aga1n.

elite

extra smooth sunday

1kon - club night Or are the beautiful people m fact at Ikon? Maybe · they are...

the garden house - club n1ght Drum & bass and live scratching to accompany your pint, in one of the Triangle's n1cest pubs.

commercial dance and party time - club night Title's a bit wordy, but at least the n1ce people at Time let you know what to expect.

monday march 13

hy times

carwash

hy's - club n1ghts Get high at Hy's and say 'hi' to all you r friends in the sky oh my, I think I've developed Noel Gallagher's lyrical skill.

theatre royal - circus See March 7.

liquid - club mght All your seventies clothes are surely getting a bit knackered by now, but hey, it's dark in clubs, no one will notice.

blank canvas release party 1

sanctuary

fat pauly's - gig .

And onto this blank canvas we add a stroke of 100 Reasons, a dab of Vacant Stare, and wash 1t all over With a band called Breakneck. Lovely. £3

ikon - club night If you're after a sanctuary from chart music, alcohol, and people enjoymg themselves, then you 'd best not come here.

circus oz

saturday: february 26

re :fresh

mojo's - club n1ght One for the ind1e kids th1s, offenng lofi and altemat1ve for you to do that funny dance to.

ikon - club n1ght Don whatever spangly nonsense you bought at the shops today, and dance the Saturday away at Ikon.

alternative indie night

time - club night Once you've braved the (inevitable) queue, a n1ght out at Norwich's classiest club awaits you .

hamlet - first cut norwich playhouse - play See March 07

circus oz theatre royal - circus See March 07

fat pauly's - gig A whole host of bands for your delectation, mclud1ng the Secret Hairdresser, Sky Dust, and UEA's very own Kensuk1e Kimachi. £2

621155 hy's 623559 the loft 629060 manhattans 621541 ikon 611113 liquid 632717 the waterfront 622533 mojos 630760 zoom 767671 concept 660288 rick's place 627478 canary cue club 624677 abc cinema 622047 cinema City 621903 ode on 0870 0102030 uci 620917 maddermarket 660352 norwich arts centre 766466 norwich playhouse 630000 theatre royal 592272 uea studio 629921 norwich puppet theatre 766129 king of hearts 508050 uea union ents 223624 norwich castle museum 0800192192 scoot talking pages 0800 600900

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if you have a gig, club night, play, reading, sock darning event you'd like to tell the lovely folk of uea about, just put the details on a piece of paper and drop them into the concrete office so that we can include them in this very listings section. listings written and compiled by Darcy Hurford and Elin Jones all details correct at time of going to press

HICHEVER DIRECTIO YOU CHOSE DO 'T LET YOUR IT SKILLS HOLD VOU BACKI WE ARE OPEN ALL SU COURSES IN

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the underground classic anthems and dance floor fillers

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We also have available courses in PC Technologies Networking - MCSE/MCP Programming - Java - Visual Basic .

Ca 11 us now on 01603 619769 the event, wednesday, march 01, 2000

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139- 141 King Street Norwich Tel 01603 632717

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COMPLETE STONE ROSES

SUN 5 MAR

£6/£5 SU

EAT STATIC WED 8 MAR £8.50

£41£3(£2 WITH FLYER)

90'S POPLUCK

FRI10 MAR

MELTDOWN

NITIN SAWHNEY THU 9 MAR

+ GENERAL ZOO'S DISCO

£8.00

SAT 11 MAR

DRUM 'N' BASS

WED 15 MAR FRI17 MAR

£10.00

£11/£9 NUS ADV

MELTDOWN

SOULS OF MISCHIEF +DJ APOLLO

+ BALLISTIX £4/£3(£2 WITH FLYER)

SAT 18 MAR

DA BOMB

FEAT THE DREEM TEEM (1 0-4AM)

£8.00

SAT 24 MAR

ASIAN DUB FOUNDATION

TUE 28 MAR

£3.50 8411/£4

HALLELUJAHALLNIGHTER

+P.M.T

MON 27 MAR

£4/£3(£2 WITH FLYER)

WAX MAGIC

STIFF LITTLE FINGERS TUE 21 MAR

£4/£3(2 FOR 1 WITH FLYER)

£8/£9

THE KITCHEN ALLNIGHTER FRI 31 MAR

£11/£9 NUS ADV

£8.00

Clubs

KILL 11 THIS + EARTHTONE9

CARAMBA!

SAT 4 MAR

£6.50

ELASTICA MON 17 APR

£8.00

£4 ADV

CLOCKWORK ORANGE

SAT 11 MAR£9.95/£8NUS ADV ~~

WISHBONE ASH

~HUR 27 APR

TUE 7 MAR

£10.50

PRIMAL SCREAM +GUESTS

FRI 10 MAR

SOLD OUT

EEL

+GUESTS

SUN 12 MAR

SOLD OUT

STAIRWAY TO ZEPPELIN FRI 17 MAR

SOLD OUT

SUN 16 APR

(RE-SCHEDULED DATE, ORIGINAL TICKETS VALID)

TRIBUTE BAND

PAUL WELLER FRI 14 APR

+GUESTS

£9.5~

PAM'S HOUSE SAT 18 MAR £9/£7 NUS ADV RETRO ACTIVE FEAT WHAM DURAN SAT 26 MAR

ASWAD SUN 7 MAY

+GUESTS

£10.00

BLUETONES +GUESTS SAT 20 MAY

£5 ADV

TICKETS FROM UEA UNION, SOUNDCLASH, HMV & OUR PRICE.

CREDIT

£2.00

ARD 01603 50 80 50 r..

All prices are advance only & may be subject to a booking fee.

£12.00