The event- issue 124- 14th 3rd 2001

Plus! ~'We're

too old to be pop stars!' Feeder grow up

A different cradling Brian Keenan interviewed Back on the air The rebirth of Uvewire

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The latest interv1ews from the ents'n'arts fron t line

Poetry in motion The Event takes a squiz at Norwich's burgeoning performance poetry scene.

Feeder On why they don't want to be pop stars. Honest.

Livewire The people behind the station 's relaunch speak.

Brian Keenan Former hostage and now celebrated writer interviewed.

In In-depth features, comments. analyses and gubbins

Striking out Hollywood actors are getting bolshy but why?

Swap meet! Two people. Two record collections. Infinite misery.

Cashing in? The phenomenon of franchised movies.

lt's playtime Play your favourite retro video games on the net.

12-13 On the Road A trip in search of the East Ang lian dream .

always thoug ht t hat the poi nt of Channel Four was t o provide c utt ing edge prog ramm es, whi c h entertain as well as reflec t the t imes. Clearly, I was wrong. After mont hs of c areful prog ramme researc h and find ing t hei r t arget audi enc e. they have come up w ith the most st aggenngly infant ile and stereotypical piece of t elevision ever made. One w ord , so muc h pain . Metrosexuality. The concept behind the t 1tl e, just in case we weren 't c lever enough t o work it out for oursel ves, IS a cun ni ng play on t he word het erosexuality. Yes, really . Y'know , 1n the c ity , you don ' t need stuffy labels on your sexu al onent at ion- gay, st raight. b1 and confused are sooo last cent ury - it's all been repl aced wi th a tw enty-fi rst century al l-purpose ti t le. Of course . t his can only work in the ci ty ( London, 1n th is case), where t here's a met ro to relate your sexuali ty to . Wel l, act uall y, 1t's c all ed the London Underground , but that ' s not quite as cat c hy . The tit le c overs for one of the biggest probl ems with the series. Whil e it strives to be modern and hip w it h its super-laid-back at titude t o sexua lity, it's all situated in a very small geograph ic al area . They made the same mistake with Queer as Folk , wh ich was all set 1n Manc hester's gay v1llage. By isolat ing all thei r crazy c amp c haracte rs in Netting Hill, the programme makers are isolating and limit1ng their message . c onfining it JUSt to those c learly marked ·gay spaces.' Rather than advancing t he cause . or breaking dow n barrie rs bet ween het erosexual and homosexua l/ bisex ual communit ies, tl1 ey are putting them up higher. This is a pity, because Metrosex uality is clea rl y trying very hard to be our friend . Its insist ence on dressing all its charac ters , sets and props in k itsc h day-glo col ours and fake fur mak es it look like a slight ly dirty escapee of Saturday morni ng kids TV. it has a lovely Benetton-styl e constructed range of races and every extreme case of fam il y possible (one c haracter has t wo dads, a mum and a st ep dad, another has t wo mums) . When is Channel Four, the self-a ppointed youth/ alt ern ative progra mming c hannel, going to

"Kitsch day-glo colours and fake fur makes it look Music: Gorillaz; Ash; like a slightly dirty Muse ; Everlast Film: Best in Show; escapee of Saturday Audition; Miss Congeniality morning kids TV"

Everything rev1ewed and previewed for your pleasure

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Video: Keeping the Faith; Road Trip; Hollow Man Arts: The Marriage of Figaro; Jeff Green TV/Radio: As it,· League Against Tedium Interactive: Resident Evil 3; Fantasy Star Online

Event 20-23 The best guide to what's

on in Norwich. Ever.

The Event is published fortnightly by Concrete: PO Box 41.0, Norwich, NR4 7TB Tel: 01.603 250 558 Fax: 01.603 50 6822 E-mail: su.concrete@uea.ac. uk Printed by: Eastern Counties Newspapers, St Andrew's Business Park, Norwich

make an honest representation of a true cross section of the gay commun it y? it seems that they are capable of it when they try (for example. Vmce and Stuart 's relationship at the end of Queer as Folk was touch1ng and realistic), but perhaps they are too scared to do th 1s all the time. After all, I imagme pink-c lad scene queens prancing ro und in flu ff-cove red jeeps and ecst asyfuelled male threesomes pull in far h1gher ratings. This is what the public wants to see them bloody queers domg anyway. right? And this is why Channel Four have a duty to portray more nonscene, non-camp c haracters. and relationshi ps not just based on sex 1n their gay dramas, because this would be tru ly ground-b reak ing. Channel Four are getting it right some of t he time: the re lati onshi p between Hol/yoaks' Gi na and Emily has been going for nearly a yea r, and it has never been a major lesbian-shocker st yle storyline . But then ag ain , Channel Four were getting 1t right some of the t 1me two years ago when they made Queer as Folk. By nearly replicating their prev1ous seri es, but making it more m-your-face camp and ridiculous than before. they seem to be moving back w ard s, not Astrld Goldsmith forwards .

Wednesday, March 14, 2001

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IVe If you could sleep with a fa mous person of your own sex , who would lt be and wh y?

"Mother Theresa. She's done so much good for the world she ought to get somethmg in return" Anon WAM l. "Trevor Macdonald, so he would say 'And now for somethmg a bit different ...... James lng MGT l. "The Queen. I bet she's got loads of dressing up clo thes." Vlcky Leddy LAW l. "Samuel L Jackson. he looks like he's got quite a package. " Chrls Butler CHE l. "Suzanne from Hear'Say, so that I could sleep with her before Noel does." Laura Corinder MUS 2

"Inspector Gadget, he's got enough gadgets for a good session. plus a dog- who could ask for more?" Oavl d Kline BIO 2 "Julia Roberts. She won't mmd tf I have hatry armpits." Kate Ambrose HIS 1 "David Beckham, to see if he brylcreems hts pubes." Luke Harwood MTH l. "Kathy Burke ·cos she ts almost a man ... and spotty adolescent boys do it for me" Anon EAS 3 "Shaggy from Scooby Doo 'cos he's gorgeous and his name may have something to do with his sexual prowess." James Douglas MTH 3

Editor In Chief . James Goffin • Editor · Steve Collins • Arts Edit or · Jim Whall ey • Assistant Arts Editor · Liz Hutchinson • R im Edit or · M erek Cooper • Assistant Rim Editor . Astrid Goldsmith Music Editor · Elin Jones • Assistant Music Editor · Anthony Lovell • TV / Game Editor · Markland Starkie • Assi stant TV/Game Edito r . Kathryn Hinchllff Listings Editor· Kath erlne Everitt • DTP · Elin Jones · Adam Chapman · Steve Collins · Nic k Henegan . Markland Starkie . Merek Cooper · Jim Whalley • Thanks to · All of the above and below • Godlike people of the fortnight · Jon Cook and Val Striker Contributors . Kleren McSweeney · Simon Howarth · Amy Harris · Ed Williamson · Steve Qulrke · Mlscha Pearlman · Christ lna Lymbourls . Faye Thomslt . Luke Wright . Phil Kopcynzski · Chloe Garret · Craig Wright · Jonathan Rolfe · Katie Hind · Vlren Vaghela · Rhiannon Davles · Tom Sutton • Listings · Katherine Everitt · Llz Hutchinson · Steve Collins • Proofreader · Aona Shearer

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___ eveiit __________,_n__ie_c==ie...s______3 DearMr Fillet o' Shakespeare

fish,

Unfort unate ly, God endowed even stupid people with genitals. This means that not only can t hey reproduce, but also they can take their spawn on Family Fortunes ... Les: ·we asked our survey to name ... " Contestant: "The answers!" "A song with "Moon" in the title?" " Blue Suede Moon!" ·A kind of ache?" " AIIet o' fish! " "A bird with a long neck?" " Naoml Campbelll" ·something red?" " My cardigan! " ·An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers?" " A horse!" "A jacket potato topping?" "Jam!" "A sign of the zodiac?" "April! " "A TV Soap?'' " Dove!" "Something with a hole in it?" "A window! " "Something people might be allergic to?" "Skiing! " "Something associated with pigs?" "The police!" "A non-living object with legs?" "A plant!" "A domestic animal?" " Leopard!"

Q: "Something a blind man might use?" A: "A sword!" · A dangerous race?" "The Arabs! " ·A number you have to memorise?" "Seven!" "Some famous brothers?" " Bonnle and Clyde!" "Something that floats in the bath?" "Water! " "Something a blind man might use?" " A sword!" "An animal you might 5ee at the zoo?" "A dog!" ·A famous bridge?" "The Bridge Over Troubled Waters!" "A part of the body beginning with the letter 'N'?" " Kneel" " Something you do in the bathroom?" " Decorate!" "A famous Royal?" " Mall!" "Something slippery?" "A con-man!" "A way of cooking fish?" " Cod!" "Something you do before going to bed?" "Sleep!" "Something a cat does?" "Goes t o the toilet!" " Something that flies that doesn 't have an engine?" "A bicycle! With wings! " "Something you open other than a door?" "Your bowels!" "Something you have with coffee? " "The Sunday Sport!" "A job a working dog does?" "Slave! " "A form of transport you can walk around in?" " My foot!" ·A type of large cat?" " Persian!" ·A method of securing your home?" " Put the kettle on!" "A food that can be easily eaten without chewing?" " Chips!" (this particular contestant was a soup salesman)

I re1me 1mh<•r t hat bit ); everything, like, sucks.

The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck

usually occurlng when questioned In a seminar

~~~~~~~IJi about the

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Intricacies of a book/ play/ poetry collection which you haven't read. How the hapless Ignoramus will blush and squirm, mumbling half-arsed generalities culled from the blurb on the back of the

But now, thankfulthere Is a way out of these awful situations. For with The Event's new series of super-condensed literary opae, you can bluff your way out of even the most demand textual Inquisitions - and look well clavahl Or at least like you know a bit about what happens.

Thus Spake Zarathustra by Friedrich Nietszche [Scene: A cave, somewhere In Germany] Zarathustra: Everything is rubbish. I want power. Woul dn't it be weird if everything recurred eternally? A bit like Groundhog Day. Oh, and God is dead. [Enter God] God: No, I'm not. Zarathustra: Yes, you are. [God DIES] Zarathustra: I am Superman! Raaah! THE END The moral: humanity Is self-creating; God Is dead

[Scene: Oklahoma, the Early thirties] The Joad Family: We're well poor. Let's head out West [They do. Enter the West] The West: I am an unattainable dream, an eternal mirage. Which is a bit like the Human Condition, really. Oh, and you're all buggered . [ They are. Everybody DIES] THE END The moral: America Is built on shifting sands, and the Dream Is an Ignis fatuus (remember this) . Which Is a bit like life, really, Isn't lt?

Lord of the Flies by William Golding [ Scene: A desert Island. Loads of kids] Ralph: Let's build a fire. [They don't] Ralph: Let's build a fire . [They don 't] Ralph: Let's build a fire. [They don 't} Jack: Sod the fire, let's all kill each other! [They do] THE END Moral: Mankind's heart Is dark. Everybody's rubbish and evil. Democracy Is good. Totalitarianism Is bad.

If you 1 re one of UEA's many McEwans-in-waiting struggling to get published, take heart: publishers don't always spot real talent. Just look at these rather regrettable rejection etters Jane Austen: Northanger Abbey "We are willing to return the manuscript for the same sum as we paid for it." 1803 JG Ballard: Crash "The author of this book is beyond psychiatric help. " 1973 Anne Frank: The Diary of Anne Frank "The girl doesn 't, it seems to me, have a special perception or feeling which would lift the book above the 'curiosity ' level. " 1952. Joseph Helier: Catch-22 "I haven't really the foggiest idea about what the man is trying to say ... Apparently the author intends it to be funny- possibly even satire - but it is really not funny on any intellectual level. He has two devices, both bad, which he works constantly ... This, as you may imagine, constitutes a continual and unmitigated bore." 1961 Rudyard Klpllng: Pass/m "I'm sorry, Mr Kipling, but you just don't know how to use the English language." 1889 HG Wells: The War of the Worlds "I think the-verdict would be: 'Oh don't read that horrible book. " 1898 Oscar Wllde: Lady Windermere 's Fan "My dear Sir, I have read your manuscript. Oh, my dear sir." 1892 Frederlck Forsyth: The Day of The Jackal "No reader interest." 1970

You know, all the fun's gone out of graverobbing. Many's the time a few friends and I would wile away the long summer months digging up cadavers and performi ng deviant acts upon them while the sun set over our quiet Devon town . But we always longed to dig up the corpse of a true celebrity, someone from the Alist . Well , thanks to the good people at flndagrave.com, our prayers have been answered. Yes! You too can locate the final resting place of any dead superstar you care to name, and visit it for a pilgrimage, candlelit vigil , pagan ceremony or any other kind of youthful high jinx. A quick visit to their search engine is all you need to ensure literally hours of trouble-free macabre pleasure. Trouble is, in today's ever-changing wacky world of celebrity fashion, cremation is very much the new burial, and every bugger and their dog's

opting to be burned before having their ashes scattered in a place of personal spiritual significance. Freddie Mercury, for example, fancied spendi ng the rest of eternity floating on the ether above Lake Geneva, and Orson Welles elected to have what must have been at least three hoover bags· worth of ashes thrown down a well in Spain. However, all is not lost - many celebrities are still keeping it real and being buried- James Dean, Kenneth Williams and Benny Hill to name but a few. and even if superstars aren 't your cup of tea, then you can always have a look for your ancestors on the 'non-famous· search engine. What a wonderful thing the Internet is. If anyone's interested, I've got a coach leaving from the LCR at 9am tomorrow to go and dance on Graham Norton's grave. All right. I know he's not dead yet, but it can be arranged .. . Ed W/11/amson

Norman Maller: The Naked and the Dead "In my opinion it is barely publishable." 1948 John Le Carre: The Spy Who Came In from the Cold " You're welcome to Le Carre- he hasn't got any future. " Vladlmlr Nabokov: Lollta " lt is overwhelmingly nauseating, even to an enlightened Freudian ... I recommend that it be buried under a stone for a thousand years." 1955 - not that this ·enlightened Freudian' is repressing anything at all. .. Will lam Goldlng: Lord of the Flies "it does not seem that you have been wholly successful in working out an admittedly promising idea. " 1954. Gelding won the Nobel Prize for literature in 1983, and Lord of the Flies became one of the bestselling 'literary novels' of all time. Oops!

WinWinWinWinWinWinWinWinWinWinWinWinWinWinWinWinWinWinWinWinWinWinWinWinWinWinWin

Blaggery Corner Ackle lady Fate Is a cruel, cruel mistress. She's the one responsible for you never getting that picture on Tony Hart's Gallery. She's the one responsible for that t ime you wrote Into Blue Peter and the bastards never gave you a badge. She's the one who stops you getting through to Richard and Judy's Midday Money every day. Or Is that Judy? Anyway, now you can trounce the evil t emptress with The Event's amazing competitions! Of which, er, there aren't many this week ...

Win X-Men stuff! X-Men is a high-octane special effects packed blockbuster with added spandex . Good mutants fight the bad mutants, while the humans seek to destroy them both. But what's really exciting is that we 've got two copies to give away! Free! To you! Just answer this tickler and thrust it In our Competition Box in the Hive. Q: What colour was the Green Cross Code Man 's cross?

Wednesday, March 14, 2001

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a If you though poetry readings were all about chin-rubbing, rollneck-wearing beatniks then think again. The Norwich performance poetry scene is a hive of activity as Luke Wright found out ... ict ure thi s: two hundred people crammed into the Hive Bar, another fifty turned away on the door, having queued up for half an hour in the hope that there might be some way in. There is a noisy audience that cheers what it likes and boos what it doesn 't and an atmosphere that has ensured that this event sells out every month al most w ithout fa il. Am I ta lking about rock ·n· ro ll? Am I f-, this is poetry, and it's very much alive in Norwich. Poetry. What does that word mean to you? Most art ic les about poetry today wou ld at th is point waste a large proportion of their word count presenting a series of over-used and dumb cliches and subsequent ly spend an even larger proportion trying to convince their readers that t hese cliches simply aren't true. I 'm not going to do that, there are too many other things to write about.

"Admittedly, there are still poetry readings where the aim is to alienate the audience but they are few and far btween."

something for the page and the page alone in a time before mass printing and publishing? However, the scene as we know it today has existed since the 1960s when poets like Adrian Admittedly, there are still poetry readmgs where M1tchell combmed the serious and the funny in an the aim is to alienate the audience and wear easily presentable poetic .form that made it black but these are few and far between, and no possible to reel these poems off anywhere, and one bothers to go anyway. Mostly when you see they did. Through the 70s and 80s the gauntlet posters advertising a live poetry night it will be was taken up by John Cooper Clarke , Linton referring to performance poetry. This is essentially Kwezi Johnston, Attila the Stockbroker, Jean 'Binta' Breeze and Benjamin Zephaniah. This poetry that works better in performance than on the page, and if you haven't checked one of these amazing generation of writers and performers events out yet then its high time you did. took their words to dodgy dancehalls and violent In truth performance poetry has always existed. pubs, and owed more to the influence of the Much of Shakespeare's poetry was contained music industry than any literary backgrounds. within his plays. After all what good was writing John Cooper Clarke supported punk bands, such as Mark E Smith's The Fall, whi lst Z ephaniah and Johnston took their rhymes and rhythms from reggae and dub. They rarely saw cosy coffee shops or heard the clicking of fingers, they had to show passion and soul, and that's what poetry must have. Now as the old generation begin to pass on the gauntlet again , and the twentieth century IS left in a cloud of broken rhymes and beats. Norwich can see itself as one of the most important • FREE pregnancy tests venues for the future of poetry. Lets go back to our noisy venue, the • Confidential advice and information one that's so popular it 's turning people away every month, the Chill • Time to think through your choices with ·em Out Jazz Cafe , the brainchild of a trained counsellor Union Entertainments Assistant Toby Cunningham. The Jazz Cafe has • Practical care and support, whatever been running every month in the you decide Hive since October 1999 and has only failed to sell out twice. In this • Post abortion and miscarriage time it has played host to names counselling such as Adrian Mitchell, John Cooper Clarke and Jean 'Binta ' • All services FREE and open to both men Breeze. However it is not just the and women big names that the Jazz Cafe concentrates on, equally important • Come on your own, with your partner is the open mic, a chance for or with a friend or relative anyone to get up on stage and have their five minutes. Regular open mic OPENING HOURS reader and UEA poetry slam Man 1Oam · 4.30pm Wed/Fri 1pm · 4.30pm member, Paul Joyce says (or shouts), "The open mic is Please call to arrange an appointment particu larly good because of its lack Norwich Pregnancy Crisis <;entre, The Fishergate Centre, of censorship and the fact that Fishergate, Norwich, tJ~3 I SE· (0 1603) 768777 anyone is given the opportunity to try out new material. " Registered ,Chqrity, No. I 061535

Pregnant? Worried? Call us for help

Wednesday, March 14, 2001

However, the Jazz Cafe can also be a nerve wracking experience for the poe ts. In October last year it played host to two poetry slams, the fi rst a competition for the four prest igious pl aces in the UEA slam team. The second saw these fou r poets take on teams from Norwich and London. A poetry slam is an audience-judged poetry competition, with five judges randomly picked from the audience and asked to rate eac h poem they hear from 0-10. Sounds brutal? We ll , the audience are also actively encouraged to jeer and cheer whenever they feel the need. However, poets and audience members are generally in favour. Abby lngalls ( EAS2) says, "The slam often brings the best out of a poet and produces a great atmosphere." The aim behind Jazz Cafe was to do something different on campus and bring us something a litt le more hip than the usual run of tribute bands and the like, but it has gone beyond that. Visiting American poet. Ainsley Burrows, claims it is the best venue in Europe, Levi Tafari, dub poet and most recent Jazz Cafe performer, describes the atmosphere as "electric," and with future performances from Martin Newell, poetic bard for the Independent and the most frequently published poet in England, it looks likely to bui ld on this reputation. nion Communications Officer, Wayne Barnes, is enthusiastic about the success of the Jazz Cafe saying, "With the Creative Writ ing Programme at UEA we have the cream of young performance poets on our doorstep and the fact that we give them the opportunity to perform their work in front of such a brilliant audience can only help them raise the1r standards and ours ." And his favouri t e poet at Jazz Cafe? Compere Jason Raper. who not only holds this event together every month with his sharp wit and quick quips, but also runs his own group, TVP. TVP are to be credited with the re-birth of performance poetry in Norwich - before TVP, there was nothing. Established in the autumn of 1997 by Jason Raper and Lisa D'Onofrio, TVP has brought both national and international poets to Norfolk as well as providing high quality performances from the ·regulars', such as Bernard Towers, Kevm Amos and Simon Miles. Every month at the Arts Centre on St. Benedict's Street in Norwich, TVP is an event that anyone who enjoys Jazz Cafe should definitely try to make 1t along to. The next TVP is on March 20 at 8pm and it's a spec1al showcase for younger poets. set to feature mus1c as well as poetry. One of the most exciting events in Norwich at the moment 1s perhaps the student-run Aisle16 , an event that concentrates part icularly on performance orientated poetry and last month show cased the talents of four poets from the Poet 's Cafe London, the centre of poetry in Britain. Aisle16 takes place once a month at Kafe Da and its audience IS growing. This event is particularly fresh, and a good opportunity to see new poets before they perform at Jazz Cafe. Sally Roe ( EASl) says, "Aisle16 works particularly well because it combines cool music with poets that we don't normally see in Norwich. it's also a welcome break from the geeky, under-the-table style poetry events that many people expect. " So, now I've finished my spiel. Poetry . What does that word mean to you? Sold? If so, Wednesday sees us with another Jazz Cafe at 8pm in the Hive. lt is set to feature the ta lents of Steve Tasane, last seen performing at TVP in November. If not, come along and try it anyway -you might like it.

Cambridge lads St ars of Aviation have been compared to the likes of Brit winners extraordinaire Coldplay ami they're not too happy about it. lead singer. guitarist ami cow song writer, Jonny Anstead reveals why .. Whilst you Identify yourselves with bands like Sigur Ross, Mercury Rev and Grandaddy, you have been compared to far more mainstream bands such as Coldplay. How does this comparison sit with you? Not greatly, I have to say. I don't mean to slagoff Coldpl ay too much , they're not a bad main· stream band. But I just don't think they're doing anything very expansive . I would like to think that we 've got a more individual sound. We've only heard this comparison from the American press. I think it's just because were English . and Coldplay are the most obvious English band to liken us to. Your songs are quite short on lyrics. Does this mean you put the emphasis on music, rather than sentiment, In song-writing? I guess the songs on our last EP were wordier than the ones on Greatest Disappointment of the Year but that's because we take our lyrics more seriously now than we used to. We put music first, but we try hard to choose lyrics that best bring out the atmosphere of the song .

"I don't mean to slag off Coldplay too much, they're not a bad mainstream band. But I just don't think that they are doing anything very expansive." Over the last few months, you 've g one from a locally successful band in Cambridge to being publicised In countries ranging from America to Slovakia. Greatest Disappointment of the Year was even declared EP of the month by a Dutch radio station. Have you got any advice for budding bands at UEA? If you set up your own record label , it becomes far easier to get music magazines and radio stations to listen to you. Having a website also helps. Are you going to play any gigs in Norwich anytime soon? We're yet to confirm most dates and venues. but we'll be touring in June. We would like to play universities, but that's dependent on how much radio airtime we get and the demand for that size of venue. Cra/g Wright

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A few years back Feeder were unheard of. Now they're strutting their stuff on kids' TV. Anthony Love// met the band to talk about their not-s~meteorlc rise to fame ... eeder's rhythm section are in affable moods today. Japanese bassist Taka is happy to pose for a photograph whilst playing pool. it's being taken by their sound engineer, who also doubles as their live keyboard player, and his incessant snapping continues throughout the interview, and even progresses onto the stage for the evening's show. Taka is chatty, reminiscing about playing Southampton's toilet circuit venue (The Joiners Arms), and is intrigued to learn of the venue's redevelopment, which has seen the stage rotated by 90 degrees. He admires the dictaphone, and speculates about whether he could perform karaoke on it. Drummer Jon Lee is similarly relaxed, munching on chocolate biscuits and sipping coffee. However, their attention is undivided from the moment the interview starts, and Jon takes the lead for many of the answers. They have a pressing question to consider. Since Buck Rogers went into the top five, and Feeder started appearing on CD:UK, the band have become pop stars. Or have they? "No", says Jon bluntly. "We're still the same people. I don't think that we've changed that

"We' re still the same people. I don't think we've changed that much. We are too old to be popstars." much. We're too old to be pop stars!" They are aware of an increase in their profile though, and both men seem pleased that they have broadened the band's appeal. lt is an appeal which has only recently been picked up on by the pop press, but the rock press ( Kerrangl and Metal Hammer) have long championed the band. Jon is proud of this. ·Metal Hammer made us album of the year, but I think that the last record [Yesterday Went Too Soon] wasn't entirely to the taste of the rock press.• Was it too acoustic? "No, just less heavy. But we still play the fast, riffy stuff. • But it hasn't just been the print media who've drawn attention to the band. Former Radio One DJ Simon Mayo has long been a fan of the band, and Feeder recently performed live on his last ever show. What was that like? "lt was a great laugh, • says Jon. "lt was really early in the morning though, so there wasn't any champagne or anything!" With all the media attention upon them, it's clear that Feeder have some expectations to live up to with their new album, Echo Park. Talk turns to the making of this record. An unequivocal "yes· greets the question of whether it is their best album to date. Recorded in Los Angeles with Foo Fighters producer Gil Norton ("he's a very tough producer. lt was hard work!") the album was even named after a place in the city called Echo Park. However, there have been whispers that Feeder are 'selling out' on this album. "What does that mean?", asks Jon. "If it means selling more records, then yes, we have. But there's nothing wrong with that. The simple fact is that unless we sell records, there won't be any more releases. I still think that we sound the same as we always have done. • Like any band, Feeder have their hardcore fans, and both men are convinced that it is only the peripheral chirr strokers who would even consider the band to have sold out. Feeder Central, the longest standing fan club, is still right behind them. Jon,

however, doesn't actually seem to realise the club exists: "What is Feeder Central? A railway station?" Taka takes fan approval a little more seriously though, claiming that it is flattering that people think so much of them. However, both men claim that they have never had any strange fan requests. "Fans turn up at midday. They're out in the freezing cold - surely they must have something better to do than to come and see us? But as far as strange requests go, we don't get fans like that, and if we did, then we've got their addresses!" e move onto the issue of touring. Feeder have taken a far-sighted view of this, and have spent a considerable amount of time touring the crucial market of America. They spent the whole of 1998 there, and plan to return later this year after playing the European festival circuit. Jon has a theory about America, and the time they spent touring with college radio favourites Everclear. "You need money and time. You need your record label right behind you. You can't stay there for two months touring. lt's too big -you won't get anywhere. We now have an established base out there, but we're going back. You have to keep going back.· But Feeder have far from neglected their European fans. In fact, they are now outgrowing their former mentors who gave them support slots when the band was finding its feet. Jon is lavish in his praise of their tourmates Terrorvlsion ("Great blokes. They've had a rough time recently, but they could release another hit single"), Reef and Skunk Anansie, and seems a little embarrassed about discussing the rise of Feeder compared to the fall in profile of other bands. He looks at the floor, almost embarassed to answer. "We're not the type of band who gloat, or anything. We're all out there to do the same thing. Everyone in this business deserves a shot. And this is ours." In order to aid the touring process, Feeder hired another guitarist (Dean Tidey), who has disappeared from their ranks. When questioned about exactly why this is, the band look

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"We're not the type of band to gloat or anything. Everyone in this business deserves a shot, and this is ours." uncomfortable. Jon straight away looks to Taka, who leaps to his aid. "He was never a full time member of the band ... we needed Dean because on the last tour two guitars were needed. • Jon, perhaps, uncomfortable interrupts: "We've got our sound engineer playing keyboards now·. I witness the full Feeder spectacle later that evening. From frontman Grant Nicholas's devil horn salute to the crowd as he walks onstage to the wall of feedback which brings 'High' to a close at the end of the show, the band are on superb form. A young capacity crowd is delighted, which bodes well for the future. The commitment of the band Is impressive (Jon informs me that "even if I had a broken foot I'd still get out there and play"!) and the feet of two thirds of the band are certainly still on the ground, despite their impending stardom. Having had a taste of success, Feeder are certainly hungry for more.

Wednesday, March 14,

~001

" - ·· -

- - -·--

---- -----· ----------

lnfocus

UEA's beloved radio station, Livewire, is relaunching itself after Easter with a brand spanking new aerial transmitter, meaning that we might finally be able to listen to it. In light of this Cathy John discusses the station's past, present and fut ure ...

ivewire? Lets face it, if you have tuned into UEA 'sown radio station then it would l1ave been in your first yea r when you r mate had a show and you all gathered around the radio in a Norfolk Terrace kitchen to laugh at him/ her on air . But receiving Livewi re could be considered a tr iumph in itself; only a few hall s on campus ca n presently pick up the signal. and transmission even gets a litt le hazy once past Norfolk D. If you have produced a show yourself then you may have sat at the mic rophone co ntemplating t he futil ity of doi ng a programme, w hich at best may reac h on ly a handful of people . If no one is listening, or people aren't even aware the station exists, then what is the point of att empting to produce a decent show . an interest ing schedule? Apathy and complacency set in . But it hasn't always been like t his. Livewire·s past has been decidedly more prolific. The station was launc hed a few mont hs before Conc re te in 1991 in a fu ry of medi a c reativity at UEA . The fact that John Peel played Livewi re's first record is a little known university legend, al legedly the track was the appropriately ti t led Totally Wired by The Fall . The st at ion also helped lau nch the careers of its foun ders, most im pressively Jody Thompson's who is now New s Editor of the NME . Student radio, if successfu l. can provide the "connections" essential for a career in the radio industry. Livewire 's co ll abor at ion wit h t he national St udent Broadcast Net work, music promotional companies and record labels provides the ideal

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Wednesday, March 14, 2001

"The fact that John Peel played Livewire's first record is a little known university legend" link into the business. These links have obviously been exploited in the past as ex -UEA DJs can be found working for the Radio Authority, BBC Radio and Simon Bell has rece ntl y been promot ed to Head of Student Promotions at Beatwax. Livewire has obviously been a hotbed for media talent and this culminated in 1995, when the station went FM for six months. Norwic h went crazy for UEA 'sow n radio, st udent DJ s bec ame superstar DJs and were show ered with fan mail . Road shows also moved Livewire off campus. and took good music and wit to the cultural wasteland that ca n be East Ang li a. And that's the point, student radio provides an alternative that most people are begging for. Student radio is somewhere to escape the oppressive play lists of daytime Radio One or the oh so bangin' dance show s of the weekend, wh ich we are supposed t o revere and respect. An d the travesty is that Radio One looks progressive against the bland array of commercial regional stations whose idea of branc hing out from the mainstream is to pl ay a bit of Trav is. We w ork as pawns for the music industry, our tastes moulded until we begin to think we may really like Britney or Christina. Student radio offers the chance to change things around, to refuse to be dictated to by the giants of media. University radio gives you the opportunity to play whatever you are interested in and get it heard. it allows you to have your own voice within student media. in a format not too tightly contro lled by editorial policy. So why isn't Livewire such a liberating force on the airwaves, against the bland array of professional stations? Well to a large extent 1t is: the talent is there. Livewire's specialist evening shows are a perfect example of what can be done. Rebel Lion Roots. a reggae showcase goes out on a Thursday night between 8 and lOpm . With special guests the DJs produce a show that brings Caribbean rhythms to not quite so trop1cal

UEA. Shadow Cabinet (Thursday 6-8pm) mix hiphop and fu nk and produce gig guides for the Norw ic h music scene . Wh et her its garage, indie or even jazz t hese shows demonstrate just how much Livewire can rock. But it's not all beats and banter. The Livewire News Team not onl y produce a two hour news and ent s magazine show on a Sunday . but transmit UEA News Bulletins at 1.30pm, 4.30pm, 5.30pm and 6 .30pm daily . The team are active around campus, reviewing, interviewing and on Uni on Sabb El ec ti ons day produced an exit poll that proved t o be ast ounding ly acc urate. So it's all good ... if people actually listened . The positive facets of the station seem to be swam ped by a general neg at ivity caused by the fac t t hat Li vewire lac k s the one th ing essentia l to radi o. Li st eners. But is all t hi s about to c hange? After a seemingly never·ending process Livewire is finally receiving a kick ass new AM t ransmitter. This will replace its Induct ion Loop, the baby of all t ransmission systems, w hic h it has been using for t he last ten years. Livewi re will be only the second university in the country to receive such a powerful t ran smitt er. On t he new frequency of 1350 AM st udents will be able t o pic k up t he sig nal in all campus resi dences and perhaps beyond into the Golden Triang le. The future of Livewi re should start here. The t ransmitt er sh ould g ive the k ick start t hat the station needs to rei nst all ent husiasm and confidence in broadcasting at UEA. Livewire plan to re·launch the station after Easter, with a week of promotion for the new frequency . The Two Amigos, UEA's answer to Mark and Lard, will be attempting a twenty-four hour marathon broadcast and there will be a party in The H1ve with sets by Livewire DJs. Most importantly the week will see Livewire broadcast in The Hive over lunchtimes, and after this played between lOam and 12pm every Tuesday and Thursday. By bringing the broadcasts to the social epi-centre of the Union, Livewire has t he chance to play a far more useful and central rol e in UEA life . The opportunity is there to make Livewire 1350AM something that students want to listen to. We now have the facilities to ensure that UEA ·s broadcasting possibil ities are realised. but w it hout a dedicated tea m of people to ensure that students know about the station. listen to it, become involved with it, then we are back to square one. With many of the current committee leaving th is semester, Li vew ire needs new team mem bers to build on the foundations t hat have already been laid for the future. As well as DJs then, people are needed who have an idea of the potential of Li vewire 1350AM and who will be dedicated to promoting it to the incoming batch of 2001·2002 freshers. Students interested in radio or in the music industry should not miss out, this is a one off chance to make something happen. The new transmitte r is a g ift to all student s at UEA, so get involved! The launch of Livewire 1350AM is the perfect time to make radio at UEA an effective form of student media once again. With belief in the station instilled, commitment wi ll automaticall y improve and students will start to listen. With a dedicated team to create enthusiasm and respect for the stat1on next year, Livewire1350am could stand alongside its print and web counte rparts. Just th111k how good it could be . it's your radio, make the most of it. Livewire is also hosting a Radio Masterclass run by the Radio Academy in associ ation wit h the BBC on Saturday 17th March. The day will be an Introduction t o t he radio industry, so any media hopefuls are welcome to come along. If you are interest ed please e-mail livewlre945@yahoo.com , for further details.

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__ eve lit ========-==='"='=o=c u=-s- --=====7

For four and a half years during the 1980s, Brian Keenan was held hostage in Beirut by Shi'ite militiamen. Now, ten years and one bestselling book after his release, he's turning his hand to fiction. Steve Col/ins met him ...

rian Keenan sits looking towards, but not at, the bare wall which faces him. His eyes are tired, his hair grey. His hands are placed carefully before him, and occasionally they flit upwards to illustrate a point, before being brought back to rest on the table before him. Right now they are gesturing dismissively, pushing away another image, another face. This time, however, it is his own - or rather, one imposed upon him by a world which he lost, and which lost him, for four and a half years. That of Brian Keenan, 'the disappeared'. "Disappeared? No," he says quietly, his eyes sti ll fixed on some point between himself and the wall. "No, not at all. I don't accept that. Quite the reverse . But people still come over and say - in the most gracious, and kind, and quite humbling ways - 'How you doing Brian, welcome home.' And I've been home ten years! " Understandably, t he very-much-here Keenan is reluctant to accept the confines of any image or role. And despite the fact that he's here to give a reading from his latest novel to packed out audience at UEA 's literary festival, he even wants to avoid being labelled as a writer. "One spoonful of sugar doesn 't make a pot of jam . I admire writers who have an established career in writ ing . I don't have t hat . I've only written three books. So no, I don't feel comfortable with being a writer. I'm very, very distinctly uncomfortable with it . My passport still says 'teacher' ; I have not changed it." But whatever his job description, he 's certainly a bit handy with a word processor. An Evil Cradling, his eloquent, harrowing account of his captiv ity at the hands of fundamentalist Shi'ite militiamen in the suburbs of Beirut during the 80s, has won several literary awards. His recently published first novel, Turlough, is an imaginative feat, conjecturally presenting the forgotten life of blind harpist Turlough O'Carol;;m, one of Ireland 's greatest and most enigmatic musical icons. Many

"Maybe the image of the disappeared is ... maybe that's a metaphor for our age."

commentators have noted parallels with its author - but just how autobiographical is Turlough? "I, unfortunately, am trammeled with the handicap of being quite confessional in my writi ng. And in doing that I suppose there ... there are some parts of me in him, in Turlough O'Carolan. There would have to be because you write out of your own experience of things and you attempt to empathetically move into another persona. But you always carry yourself into that ." O'Carolan first appeared to Keenan during his captivity. He stayed for six months or so, and during that time did more to preserve his host's sanity than most of the other visions that comforted, disturbed and enraged him. "I have no honest explanation why this man should come into my head," says Keenan, "or why he stayed there. My knowledge of Turlough O'Carolan was minimal. All I knew of him was that he was blind, he played the harp and he lived in Ireland several centuries ago, I didn 't know when." A reflection of Keenan himself? "Maybe in a way, you never know about these things. Maybe in a way it was a kind of mirror of myself. I suppose I was looking for a mirror image that corresponded with all the fantastical imaginings that happen to the mind in isolation. Trying to fix t he person I'm writing about with the person whom I encountered in those strange circumstances. So yes, I am sure there are parts of me in there. But you 've got to be very careful in how you .. . silver the back of the mirror." Keenan 's novel was, he says, · a debt of honour", one which had to be paid at all costs. Naturally, 'he was painful ly aware of how fictiona lising the history of such a reve red figure cou ld aggrieve the purists- the book's dedication to 'all the musicians of Ireland' smacks of the pre-emptive gesture. And his main project was, he admits, largely purgative: " I avoided for years and years after I came home thinking about doing this book. lt was a monkey on my shoulders. But gradually I began to understand why the monkey was there. Because the Turlough in the historic records is not very clear: very shady, very obl ique, and it 's missing huge chapters. This book is not about a musician . it's about a man ." eading Turlough, it's difficult to ignore the assonance between author and subject which seems to chime on every page. Two lives irreparably damaged , formed by darkness, absences and loss; it seems fitting that a man who refused to light the candles given him by his captors - whose own life is 'missing huge chapters ' - should wish to write of the blind. Keenan nods tentatively. "lt is a book about loss. it 's also a book about reclamation. it 's a book about celebration. I would never in one hundred million years have thought about taking on this project had I not have been locked up for a long time on my own . So maybe I have a profound understanding of loss ." Boundary metaphors seem to pervade the novel's subtext. The play of loss and reclamation dramatised in memory is explored through Turlough 's remembrance of a life lived bridging both historical and social divides, when he played for both paupers and aristocrats during one of the most violent periods of Irish history . Keenan's Turlough is a man with Janus, the two-faced Roman god of doorways and passages, as his idol : harmonizing the fading , elegiac echo of the old Gaelic order with the improvised , sensual melody of a burgeoning ' new Ireland ' . The image is a personal one for Keenan, nurtured during the dark days of his 'evil cradl ing ': "it 's no co incidence you should pick up on that .

"Maybe in a way Turlough is a kind of mirror image of myself. But you've got to be very careful in how you silver the back of the mirror." My experiences when I was on my 'holidays' .. . were about this thing, this changi ng face. That 's maybe got to do with the ups and downs of depression. When you 're locked up in those conditions. But they became very meaningful to me . Very structured . And I knew how to use them. So that revolving face, that disunity and one unity .. .became very, very important to me. And I su ppose I carry that in myself.'' Interestingly, Keenan frames the t ragedy of Turlough 's life within the musician's inability to recognise his transcendent, pioneering role: "I think he kicked open the door, on music . He never walked through it . He didn't have the emotional or intellectual capacity to do that. " Keenan , whilst no pioneer, has this capacity - to transcend, to imagi natively 'open doors' . it 's won him awards; it's affected anyone who 's read An Evil Cradling. His imprisonment seems to have informed Turlough with a heightened sensit ivity to trad it ion and progress, and the way in which both articulate identity on a personal and social level. lt 's a writer's trick alright. " Maybe the image of the disappeared is ... maybe

that 's a metaphor for our age. Values have disappeared, are gone, very quickly . The sense of a value continuum isn 't there anymore. The whole notion of things disappearing and coming back is a valuable one. Bec ause we need t hat assurance. I do." Keenan speaks of the necessity of recognising the "darker side " of ·our age", the compelling "grimace" of a time in which "our focuses are spinning round like Janus' face." The social metaphor is not evasive: he admits that ·maybe that's a motif for me. " He knows t he 'darker side' all too well. He spent four and a half years sharing the intimate, ·evil ' incubation of his cell with it. But now. ten years after release , does the rebirth of Turlough the man mark a similar renaissance for Keenan; the opening of a new chapter in his own story? He thinks for a moment, his eyes sti ll fixed ahead: " I think maybe everybody has one story t o t ell, and to fathom it out over and over again in different ways. I think that's maybe why I try and del iberately write different things. Whatever story you tell I think is probably all the same, but is told differently. Or maybe you release yourself from the confines of your own imagination, which is a big confine to get out of." One that he wants to escape? "No, I don't want to. I real ly don't want to. My one abiding belief - absolute, and nobody will change it - is that the mind forgets nothing. And I was fortunate in a strange way to come into confrontation with that , with the power of memory . The hurtful, vitalising confrontation with memory . So, perversely - • Another pause, looking at me now . And a smile. "Captivity is quite liberating ."

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~ednesday,

March 14, 2001

event

Insight

~ ~~ow'e~ge Tom Waits

Hollywood looks like such a lovely place, perfectly manicured lawns, gaudy old women clutching small dogs and actors just hanging out. Merek Cooper finds trouble in paradise. f you are of the opinion that the state of film an d te levision can not get any worse, t hen brace yourself. The co ming summer mon ths promise to be a testing time for anyone who berates the little glowing cube for endlessly churning out re-run after re-run and comes out of the cinematic darkness wi t h the vag ue suspicion t hat the fi lm t hey l1 ave just watc hed w as hast ily co nstructed with t he sole purpose of prising the entrance fee from your grubby little paws. Hollywood is in the midst of a grave c ri sis, a revolution if you will, with both writers and actors promising to stop work and set up picket lines for the sum mer. With no wri ters and no act ors to to il in the corporate Holl ywood "sausage machi ne," as one angry writer put it, production will cease until a solution is found. But with the prospect of no new product flowing out of the West Coast wo nderland, then what wi ll we be watchi ng in t he co mi ng months? Now wo ul d be a good tim e to turn over to Cl1annel Five to chec k out a worst case scenario: bad films , sub-standard game shows and repeats, repeats , repeats. The future could be very ugly indeed. We the general public, must st eady ourse lves for a huge influx of bottom of th e barrel swill , as the indust ry searc hes for any ol d crap, just t o plug the hole left in the schedules. But what have these over paid and over-idolised people got to protest about, I hear you ask. Well it's a good question and a just ified one. what co uld possibl y be so bad about being paid milli ons of dollars and bei ng adored by fanat ics? At t he heart of this crisis lies one word, "residuals" , the royalti es paid to an actor or writer every time a re peat is show on TV, a fil m is sold on video, or somebody presses the "Ok '' button on a ca ble

I Tom Waits? Who the hell Is he? Born in California in 1949, Tom Wa it s is, qu ite simply, one of the most we ird and eccentric musicians; songwriters of the last 30 or so years. His unique personality has also been committed to cellu loid with very little change, with his best performances comi ng in Jim Jarmusch's Down By Law and Robert Altman's Short Cu ts. So why have I never heard of him? Tom Waits has never been one to aim at commercial success, instead just producing a str ing of impressive , if progress ively weird, albums. His first album, Closing Tim e, was released in 1973, and since then over 20 albums, inc ludi ng compilations, have followed. His last album, M ule Variations, was released to great critical acclaim in 1999. Does he do all the work, or does he have a band who help him write songs? In terms of song-wr iting, it 's pretty much just him, though recently the majority of his songs have been eo-written with wife Kathleen Brennan. Wai t s plays t he harmonium, piano , organ and guitar, but he has employed va ri ous sessi on mu sicia ns to help out with the playing throughout the yea rs. He does all the singing himself, and his voice is probably the most distinguishing feature of his music. Is that good or bad? lt depends . it's definitely different. To begin wi th, he sounded rather normal, but as the years progressed and cigarettes and copious amounts of alcohol took their toll , his voice became rawer and deeper. something which is now a trademark of music. lt doesn 't always make for easy list en ing, though, especially as he 's a big fan of discord , which means that many of his songs aren't exactly 'melodic'. So really he's a bit crap, then? Far from it . In fact, he is one of the most talented songwriters of th e last three decades. and has done more than most musicians in terms of portraying the frailty of human nature and the broken American dream. Lyrically , his influences lie in the beat poets of 1950s Ame ri ca. His songs are very often poignant and sentimental , and they seek to recapture the world portrayed by wnters such as Jack Kerouac and Charles Bukowski; bus shelt ers. trai ns, late night diners, pimps, drunks, lost love , poverty , suicide, and people generally struggling with life are recurring subjects and images in l1is lyrics. And they're usually very moving lyrics. Downtown Train. on his Rain Dogs album , IS possibly one of the most brilliant and emoti ve love songs ever wntt en. That sounds more promising. If I do decide to risk it, where should I start? The Asylum Years. 14 of his best songs from the 70s . and Beautiful Maladies. 23 songs flom t he 80s and early 90s. are very good introductions, as you get a taste of bot11 l11s mainst ream and more eccentr ic st yles. Tl1en, dec 1de which you prefer. and branch out from there .

Wednesday, March 14, 2001

At the heart of this crisis lies one word, "residuals", the royalties paid to an actor or writer every time a film is screened television pay channel. The Screen Actors Guild, know n by t he un intentionally funny abbreviation SAG, no sniggering at the back , and the Wr iters Guild of America. known by the less funny WGA, both have contracts that are due to expire in the next few months, June and May respectively , and both unions are demandi ng a dramatic re-negotiation of all terms t hat involve these t roublesome royalties . Th is dispute has been rumbling on for over a year now and thus far Hollywood has been loath to respond . Although last year's advertise ment boycott attracted huge media attention when a certain Elizabeth Hurley spectacul arl y broke ranks, thi s failed to sway t11e bigwigs high in Hollywood . who obviousl y were not reading the papers that day. After this failure both the WGA

and SAG believe further industrial action is the onl y course open to them. The problem stems from the last set of cont racts t hat t he t w o unions agreed upon with studios over 15 years ago, when big hair and shou lder pads were all the rage , sell -through video was a young upstart in short trousers and DVD was but a t winkle in a Japanese developer's eye . The te rms that we re set in pl ace at t he t ime were aimed at keeping cost s low and all owing t hese new media markets to evolve in the most favourable climate possi ble. Now , however as these new forms of distribution mature to yield vast pay-days bot h the actors and the writers believe t hat the ti me has come t o bring t heir reward s into line with t he millions earned by the industry fat cat s. Currently writ ers receive a meagre four cents for every video or DVD sold , and lesser known writers are beginning to feel the squeeze of declining produc t ion costs and a demand for larger profit margi ns. o g ive t he Holl ywood st udios credit , a large part of the probl em is the need to find the money to fund the higher wages that the big stars command in today's industry. When Jim . Carrey asks for $20 million a movie and a personal chef fo r his pet iguana, t he money has to come from somewhere and more and more is bei ng taken directly from either the writers or the supporting actors路 pockets. Although after a quick glance t11rough movie history . it becomes hardly surprising that it is the writers that are suffering most from t hi s cash cris is. Writers long ago assumed the position of despised hate figure in Hollywood, derided for the ir ability to meddle and moan about the changes that a director or a producer will make to their beloved script. This attitude frequently leaves th em shut out in the cold when it comes to the actual production, and has even provoked some directors into barring their writ ers from the set during a shoot, just to get some peace. Everybody is familiar with the long established stereotype of the precious writ er. a stereotype that is deftly parodi ed in the Coen Brotl1ers fil m. Bart on Finlc The movie tells the st ory of a successfu l but Idealistic young writer from New York. who decamps to Tmsel Town only to find th at Holl ywood t reats wnters l1ke

McDonald's treats hamburgers: never mind the quality give me the quantity . Barton is horrified and endures a severe bout of writers bloc k , before resolving t o locate some fell ow "scri bbl ers " to ask for advice. In hi s innocence he en qui res of his studio boss whe re he migh t find some of his li terary fellows. His boss tells him to go to bar, where you only have to "throw a stone and hit a writer". Barton is abou t t o t hank him when the boss adds "and do me a favour Barton , throw it hard! " Al thoug h this is probably j ust com ic exaggerat ion, it perfec t ly illustrates the attitude that the writers feel has led them into a situation where they are increasingly margi nal ised and shut out of the profit s. They believe it is now ti me fo r the big pay-

Christina Ricci: "lt's my union. If they strike, I strike." Revolutionary sentiment in a very plastic world back , and if the studios do not give them what the want, t hen they are full y prepared to cripple t he indust ry. As the industry desperat ely tr ies to come to a solution it is not only the writers that they will have to placate, the actors too have a large say in the industry shut down and as anger grows against t he greedy studios it is the major stars who are championi ng t heir lesser known brot hers' cause. High profile names are lending their weighty support to the struggl e, and it is at thi s point where the criticism of a strike precipit at ed by overly greedy actors, breaks down. In fact it IS t he supporti ng actors and bit -part players who will gain most from any new contract. This is for the simple reason that although in today' s industry the stars make millions, those thespians lower down on the food chain find it desperately hard t o make ends meet. Thankfully for the little men , many of their famous cous ins l1ave already contributed handsomely to a strik e relief fund . The deep-pocketed Kevin Spacey has donated $100,000, as has t11e unthink ing man' s action hero Bruce Willis, while other luminaries su ch as Helen Hunt, Nicolas Cage and George Clooney 11ave announced their unconditi onal support. Th e indie-p1xie Christ ina Ri cci has also responded to the call to arms and has been heard quoting t11e incendiary, " it 's my un ion. If they stnke, I st rike". Revolut ionary sentiment in a very plast1c world. it warms t he heart, it really does. One gets the feeling that w it h such hig h profile support, both t he WGA and SAG will soon have t l1e terms they reqUire, Holl ywood is unlikely to cut off it s Ignorant nose to sp1te 1ts over fed face. now is 1t.

lnfocus

lt seemed like such a good idea ... The Event's music editors Elin an~ Anthony would swap parts of their recor~ collection, listen to them, and return enlightened and enriched by the experience. Or so they thought ...

Pop Princess

The Rocker

Monday

Wednesday

h. My . God . What has happened to my lovely CD rack? it's gone from a candy-coloured alphabetised pop-fest to being inhabited by a load of crusty old rockers. Surely the lovely Anthony must have given me some respite froro the likes of Pantera and Black Sabbath for me to shake my booty to before heading off to Liquid? Surprisingly, I spy a Beast ie Boys anthology peeping out from the gloomy black CD cases. Whilst they remind me of my ex -boyfriend, who insisted on playing Body Movin ' every time we made love, the Beastie Boys are enough to lift anyone's mood wi{h their 80s shouting and attitude. By the time I'd applied my mascara and glitter in time with the lnterga/actic beats I was more than ready to take anything the night-t ime streets of Norwich could throw at me - and, for once, I wasn 't sick of hearing 70s tunes after bopping around my room to Abba by the time I reached the club. So far, so good ...

After yesterday I feel like I can handle just about anything and so, despite very real withdrawal symptoms from Britney, I decide to meet The Event' s challenge head-on and listen to the two albums which have been eyeing me suspic iously for the past few days. Pantera and Stat ic-x. I try to psyche myself up by dressing up in the style of the pictures on the album covers to get into their minds. An hour later I am sitting on my bed with my face plastered with eye liner, surrounded by shredded stonewash denim and realise that I am procrastinating . I put Vulgar Display of Power on my stereo and press play. Then I regret it . I don't mind a bit of naked aggression , but why the fwould anyone want to pay for a smelly old man to shout at them? Pantera scare me . Not, however, as much as Static-x. The lyrics " Your shit 's like chocolate cakej and your ass smells like a rose/ ! really hate you " cannot come from a sane mind.

0 no-one listening, "God, what APPALLING lyrics! " I need a lie down .

Monday 'm surveying with interest the pile of nine CDs I've been given. it's not quite what I was ex pecting from the queen of pop. Alanis Morrissette, Fun Lovin' Criminals, Britney Spears, Melanie C, Now 44, plus a few others. Let's listen. A fantastic start, with Aerosmith's Big Ones. For an album 's duration, stadium rock comes to Nelson Court . I particularly enjoy Steven Tyler's quite unique talent for lyrical innuendo, some of which would have Kenneth Williams calling for matron. Even more amusing is the picture on the inside sleeve, which shows the band in all their be-mulleted glory. I'm heartened by this great start, but I know I face greater challenges ahead. I feel even better as I begin to listen to the Fun Lovin' Criminals Loco. As I already own this record, I feel confident listening to it . FLC reflect the culturally diverse nature of New York by mixing together soul, funk, blues, hip-hop, rap and hardcore, before serving it up on a bed of effortless cool. I think I'm now ready to take the plunge.

Tuesday

Wednesday

AM : I feel bad. My head hurts and my throat feels Alanis Morrissette is a step back from the abyss. Jagged Little Pill was one of the best selling records of the 1990's, and it is easy to tell why . Classily written and performed, she reminds me of a latter-day Joni Mitchell. Popular without being pop, an excellent combination. Spice Girl Melanie C's Northern Star is up next. I've had a soft spot for Mel since interviewing her, and it is always nice to listen to a well produced and pleasantly written album . However, I feel at this point that I need a bit of edge to the music I'm listening to ...

Thursday

Brit ney Spears is so quintessent ially pop it's unt rue. 12 t racks banging on endlessly about relat ionships good and bad , ... Baby One More Time, is squeaky c lean . A parti cularly pow erfu l elect ric sanding mach ine has obviously smoot hed off any edges it might have had. Blandness, t hy name is Brit ney. However, I ain't heard nothing yet. Supersister succeed in performing the most vacuous lyric I have ever heard in my life. As I listen disbelievingly to three women who would make Barbie feel like Germaine my men/ like /like my coffee/ hot, strong and . sweet like

Tuesday

... so how come I'm list ening t o Robbie Will iams? Perennial cheeky cha ppy t hat he is, I hadn 't entertained serious listening unt il now . I do fi nd myself warmi ng t o him t hough . He's got the same pop air as Brit ney, but with a laddish Brit charm oddly lacking in an American teenage gi rl. I'm coming t o the end of my pop odyssey now though, and I'm pining for my CDs back. How Black is my Sabbath ...

Friday Final day. I have Coldplay to start with. If there is a duller band in existence I have yet to find them. I feel like smashing the acoustic guitar that unimaginatively begins virtually every song over the singer's head. Yellow? Coldplay make me feel blue. I realise I have made a mistake in leaving Now 44 until last : I reserve a special loathing for any compilation album which you could record yourself if you listened to commerc ial rad io for a week , and this is no exception . I arrive at tlie conclusion that Lolly represents the absolute nadir of music, with a cover of Toni Basil's Mickey, which has me despairing of the recordbuying public . What were they thinking? I still think, after my week with Elin 's music, that manufactured, commerc ial pop is the foot and mouth disease of music, and should see the large scale burning of CDs in order to prevent the spread of its evil influence. However, if it makes her happy , I 'II say that I enjoyed about one-third of the experience. Right , I'm off for a Napalm Death binge.

like I have been snagging a rabid dog all night . Not too far from the truth actually. But duty calls - I have a seminar presentation to write by tomorrow so it 's time to get the out. Usually I can work to classical c, but is there :>m1Tnon" of that ilk in

I work so Radiohead My life is shit. I an't do my work. I'm to fail my degree and up living in a maisonette Havelock Road with only five bastard children for " nrn n;~nv. Why God, why? At this my flat mate brings me up a p of t ea and suggests that I try ng t o someth ing a bit more Bring on mothers' favourit es and Garfunkel. My only probl em with Sand G is that they make me feel ill . Not because of their sickeni ng lyrics, but because my mum used t o play them on a loop for every bloody ca r j ourney and so A Hazy Shade of Winter always makes me feel a littl e woozy. Paul Simon's moustache on the album cover did a lot to lift my mood though.

Thursday Thursday means LCR , LCR means S Club 7! I don 't care what music I listen to when I'm getting ready, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Roni Size, Leftfield and Aphex Twin fit the bill as they don 't make me want to waste my valuable vodka by pouring it onto my stereo as most of the other albums have done.

Friday Last night 's LCR has put a spring in my step and a song in my heart, and nothing that Anthony throws at me is going to get me down. As it happens, I actually have a bit of a soft spot for Black Sabbath - my mum's influence again, so it was quite a nice end to the week. When I first suggested swapping CDs with Anthony after several 'heated discussions' about our different tastes in music, I expected him to turn up with a load of nu-metal ranting. I have to admit t hat I was pleasantly surprised to discover that I actually owned most of the albums he gave me, with Eminem being one of the most pl ayed albums in our house. However, bands like Pantera and Static-x make my ears bl eed and I lit erally had t o be strapped to a cha ir (not somethi ng I'd usually complain about!) by the Event st aff t o make sure t hat I listened t o t he album s. The music I list en t o real ly affects my mood and so I listen t o girly pop to cheer me up. If I had to listen to Anthony's music every day I would turn into a psychotic bitch, although the rock-chick, smudgy eye-liner look which I was drawn to when listening to Black Sabbath is something that I might adopt. In conclusion - lose the music, love the look!

ycles

Peda Catalogue return cycles Cheap cycles and repairs Full range of accessories and spares Opening times: -Fri: 9.30-5.30 9. 0

Wednesday, March 14, 2001

~Cinefile

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 03

Monsieur Hulot's Holiday

Hollywood isn't exactly renowned for its originality so it isn't much of a surprise that the plot of Harry Potter seems sneakily familiar. Astrid Goldsmith explains .. . boy lives a frustrated life with his aunt and uncle , because his parents died when he was young. Then a messenger is sent from another world to rescue him from suburban hell and his life is changed beyond recogn ition . He learns magical skills from an older, wiser teacher, then embarks upon many exciting adventures. Along the way, he makes good friends with a boy and a girl (who are blatantly going to fall in love with each other later on) as well as encountering strange creatures who both help and hinder him in his fight against the dark forces, and in particular, his bitterest enemy, the Dark Lord. Sound familiar? If you're at all aware of the two landmarks in ch ildren 's entertainment in our generation, it should ring several bells. J K Rowling has been rumbled ... she stole the Star Wars plot! Luckily for her, plagiarism doesn't count when it's a ti meless story told for centur ies. Phew . The popularity of both the Star Wars films and the Harry Potter books has been questioned and studied incessantly by critics, the publ ic and even academia over the years. Both rely on simple stories told well, a difficult concept to pull off, however easy it sounds. These are the kind of stories that people get sucked into and adore to the point of obsession, that engulf adult s and children alike. Not surprisingly, the movie industry is rather enamoured of these kind of st ories, as they have proved their weight in gold, which is why the comparison with Star Wars stretches further than just basic plot similarities wit h Harry Potter. Since J K Row ling sold the fil m rights to Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (the first book in the series) for a re ported $14 million, the secrecy and subsequent hype around the Chris Columbus-directed film has been of Phantom Menace proportions. They are even following Lucas marketing techn iques, as the teaser trailer released last week proved.

A Claim to classic status

From the first scene you know that you are watching a film so visually compelling that it doesn 't even need dialogue. Made in 1953, Hulot turns a sedate seaside holiday into a feat of comic genius with a combination of imbecilic bumbling and some of the most humorous sound effects and visual gags you'll ever come across. Watch this movie and you 'll never be able to sit on a beach or play a game of tennis in the same way again. Quite simply a one off. Storyllne?

There is no storyline except in the sense that the film follows Hulot and other tourists he meets through their holiday. There is an undertone of romance between Hulot and the beautiful Martine but for the most part the film is episodic in the extreme. These cameos, however, will have you chuckling for years to come. Scenes such as Hulot becoming trapped in a canoe that people then believe to be a shark defy written description. They simply have to be seen to be believed. Directed by whom?

Com ic legend Jaques Tati introduced the world to the accident prone Monsieur Hulot with this movie. Having directed a number of shorts, Tati directed the feature Jour de Fete, the story of Francois, a postman trying to come to terms with the modernisation of the postal service. In many ways this sets the tone for his other films (including Monsieur Hulot's Holiday and the other Hulot pictures, Man Oncle and Trafic) which comically investigate the pressures of modern life. Any star performances?

Tati himself looks suitably confused, mischievous and often guilty as the hapless Hulot. it's also worth looking out for the pair of surly waiters who desperately try to keep the hotel in order despite Hulot's intervention and the American business man who just can 't escape his work and is secretly a bit of a letch. Do say:

Aside from causing mayhem in a sleepy Breton town , Hulot is a " man out of his time " who observes the idiosyncrasies of the French middle classes. Don 't say:

I'd rather go to Yarmouth. Nick HetJeE!•an l

"JK Rowling has bee rumbled ... she stole the Star Wars plot!" By releasing it over the internet. they cou ld measure the success of the trailer in a much more precise way than the usual cinema release. During its first day alone, the website had a record number of hits - a reported 2.5 million. · In addition, Star Wars famously started in the fourth installment . Although there were nine parts intended for the full saga, George Lucas has stated he is 'only ' going to make six 11ms,

wh1c h leaves another two films which are guaranteed to make millions. Although JK Rowling has suggested that she doesn't want to turn the Harry Potter films into a similar franchise, it seem s incredible that Hollywood will stop at the first book. After all , seven books in total have been planned - the fifth will be released this year - which indicates more than one movie sequel. Harry Potter is not the only guaranteed money spinner of recent times. The Wachowski brothers have announced that t hey will be filming not one, but two sequels to The Matrix this year. So confident are they in t he success of the films that they are even fi lming them back to back. While The Matrix pitches its plot and content at a slightly higher, more complex level than kiddie-aimed films like Star Wars and Harry Potter, it still contains several essential elements of repeatable films. Firstly, and most importantly, it has one of those resoluti on-without-resolving-anything endings, leaving open ended problems to be solved in the subsequent films. Secondly, it is set in another world , with special rules and powers, something which is exciting and can be marvelled at. Romantic comedies, weepies, action films and film noir are bad sequel material, because they are too normal and everyday (yes, even in the ridiculous world of Hollywood). The audience can 't totally immerse themselves in the world of a film if it 's too close to their own . Of course, slasher films enjoyed a spate of enormous success in the late 90s, but many felt that by the time Scream 3 was released, the genre was tired . The success of multiple sequels lies not in repetition , but in progression. In addition, The Matrix, along with Harry Potter and Star Wars, addresses eternal questions of life, existence and purpose. With themes like these, how can the films fa il? While most sequel s run out of steam after the second film (for example, Ghostbusters, Batman - the first sequel was the only worthwhil e one- and Back to the Future). sagas and crusades can merrily roll out one multi-mil lion dollar making movie

after another. So is Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone (the US title, the producers clearly didn 't th ink Americans would understand the word 'philoso-

"Harry Potter has one of those resolution-withoutresolving-anything endings. " pher') the beginning of the next Star Wars? lt has the plot promise, the magical elements and the huge merchandise possibilities. However, the first Star Wars film was directed by George Lucas, whereas Harry Potter is in the not-socapable hands of Chris Columbus (two words: Mrs Doubtfire) . it 's generally a good idea if the first film in the series is directed by a quality director - the first two Batman films were made by Tim Burton before he handed over the reins to someone decidedly less talented . However, as far as casting goes, Harry Potter has definitely got it right. The trick is to cast established actors or veterans alongside newcomers. This way, the audience get to know an actor in a specific role and won't bring any preconceptions about that actor to the film ( important for roles such as Luke Skywalker, Harry Potter, Trinity etc) , but star presence (Aiec Guiness, Maggie Smith, Robbie Coltrane, Keanu Reeves) pulls in the crowds. The ease with which one can draw these parallels is perhaps a cause for concern . Like romantic comedies and slasher films before them, have epic three-plus movie sagas been turned into a formula? Perhaps the reason why J K Rowling is reluctant for Hollywood to turn all of the Harry Potter books into films is she knows that however good the films are, they will never capture the subtle magic of the books , and any story stretched over seven films would start to wear thin . But maybe the producers don 't mind too much about that , as long as they can sell eight million Harry Potter dolls afterwards.

the

_ _"_event

In si ht

1.1

ateverha Gone are the days when computer games were bought on cassette and took five minutes to load. In fact today's games have changed to the point where they are no longer recognisable from their predecessors. Mark/and Starkie takes a nostaligic look at those games that began it all ...

n the beginning, parents the world over saw computer games as the spawn of the devil himself, stifling their children's ambit ions and stunting their intellectual growth. They were appeased by critics who remarked that the games were just another fad, and kids would soon get bored and move one. However, since their inception at the fag-end of the 1970s, computer games have been the cornerstone of practically every middle-class boy's (and to a certain extent, girl's) childhood, adolescence and, in some cases, adult hood. And, with the recent release of Sony' s Playstation 2 sending garners into a frenzy and the increasing buzz surrounding the imminent releases of the Microsoft X-Box and the Nintendo Gamecube, it looks as though this t rend is as rock-solid as ever. so, now we all know where computer games are going, but where did they come from? Well, in a word (or t wo) : Space

Top 5 Retro Websites:

Invaders. Ok, so Space Invaders (y'know, the one where you have to shoot row after row of rather square aliens from your spaceship) was not t he very first game ever manufactured, but it was this game that torpedoed video arcades and computer gaming into the conscious mind of almost every kid on the planet and set the industry on trac:k to becoming one of t he most lucrative enterprises of today's economic market place. Space Invaders was designed and programmed by Toshihiro Nishikado for Taito (a Japanese manufacturer) in 1978 and still remains one of the most popular arcade games ever made. According to the official Space Invaders website, t he game itself was actually based on a real occurrence experienced by Mr Nishikado a year earlier, in 1977. On Christmas Eve, a group of Japanese school kids, sitting and waiting for Santa to appear in the sky above Hokkaido (where Nishikado lived), saw row upon row of aliens advancing slowly from Venus. The clever kids realised the threat to Earth and quickly cobbled together a laser-blaster from the hubcap, spark plugs and battery of a parked car.

Retro Land: has several games available for

download, including Pong, Doink and Super Pong. The best thing about this site is you don't need to download an emulator to play the games. http:;;www.geocities.com/SiliconVal/ey/Way/ 8239/index .html Retro Games: a comprehensive site with lots of emulators available, as well as a guide to t he different types of emulators obtainable http:; jwww.retrogames.com

Arrgh: sub-titled The Anally Retentive's Retro Game Home, this is a well designed retro games site covering many old home computers, orien.t ed to the Mac owner http:/ jarrgh.co.uk Laner's Electric Site: a good site revolving

around the Commodore 64 http:/jltd.simplenet.comjc64/ Slnclalr ZX Spectrum Downloads: rather self·

explanatory, this one. Contains lots of Speccy emulators and games to download http:/jwww.cowl.co.ukjspectrum; software.htm

"Weirder still was the fact that on the Spectrum ZX version of Daley Thompson's Decathlon, Daley was quite blatantly white." They moved around quickly, from left to right, blasting aliens out of the sky. After several waves of the oncoming beasties, the kids managed to overpower t he aliens and the Earth was saved. The next morning the little heroes were rewarded with lots of extra presents. Sounds a bit unbelievable? Well, yes, that would be because it was a dream the programmer had. I always knew computer aficionados were a little dodgy. The Space Invaders franchise has flourished for more than 20 years and according to Taito, the game has generated more than $500 million in revenues over multiple platforms including coin-op machines, the Atari 2600 and the Nintendo. In fact, the game was so amazingly popular in Japan

that it caused a coin shortage until the country's Yen supply was quadrupled to meet the demand. Entire arcades were opened in Japan specifically for the game. Moreover, when the game was rereleased in Japan on the Super Famicom (their equivalent of the NES) many incidents of juvenile crime were attri buted to it: a girl was caught stealing the equivalent of £3000 from her parents and gangs of youths were reported to have robbed grocery stores just so they would have money to play the game. And people still thought it would blow over like any other fad. Ha! How naive ... Of course, Space Invaders was not the only game around, corrupting the minds of innocents; there soon arrived more pixelated wonders than you could shake a joystick at - most of which have fallen by the wayside, but a few classics have lodged themselves in people's memories. One such gem is Pang, a game for two players which basically consisted of one paddle (or line) at either end of the screen and a ball (or dot), which was batted between the two paddles. So, tennis then, but without the net. Soon after this came Super Pang, which was essent ially the same game, but for fou r players. And of course, there was Pac-Man. Now, everybody remembers PacMan. This loveable, yellow-headed, er, head was so popular that it single-handedly shot the sales of t he Atari (the platform it was originally released on) into stellar proportions, both here and across the Atlantic. And this was just for starters. A little lat er on (in 1985) the Commodore 64 arrived on the scene (and this was a particularly big deal for me because I owned one and loved it until it died on me not so long ago). One of the most successful games to be released on this format was California Games. In fact any game that featured a number of different events was bound to be a huge hit. The best known and most widely loved was Daley Thompson 's Decathlon, which kind of speaks for itself. One slight drawback about this game was that in the sprint you had to bang the ·z• and 'x' key as hard and fast as possible to get anywhere and a lot of people managed to break their ·z· and ·x · keys in the process. Weirder st ill was t he tact that on the Spectrum ZX version Oaley was quite blatantly white. Hmm. But aside from t hese slight blunders, such games were loved and overplayed by all and sundry. And all this before Mario Mario (yes, being one of the Super Mario bros does mean that his fi rst name and his last name are the same) took hold of the world by the scruff of its neck and forced platform game after cute, era-defining platform game down its throat.

mean, we have already had the first virtual sex symbol, in the form of Lara Croft, and have more recently come extremely close to what could be seen as a virtual world, in Shenmue (released last year on the Oreamcast) . And somewhere along the line we have forgotten that computer games were made and played for simple, fun. entertainment. Something that you could quickly turn on

"The rudimentary ethos behind video games seems to have been accident~lly pushed aside... in what is turning into style-over-substance entertainment" and off without getting bogged down by the detail. I mean, if you want a good story t hen why not read a book? And if you want see realistic graphics go rent Toy Story or something. I' m not saying that progress is a bad thing, by any means. I' m just pointing out that t he rudimentary ethos behind video games seems to have been accidentally pushed aside in the pursuit for realism and complexity in what is rapidly turning into a style-over-substance entertainment form : the exact opposite of its original intention. However, all is not lost. Even now , it is still possible to get your hands on the games that began it all, with the help of the internet, of course. You can download emulators programs that imitate old platforms, like the Spectrum ZX, NES, Commodore 64, NeoGeo, etc, etc. - on to a PC, which allow you to play games (also downloaded from the web) through them. And most of them don't even cost a penny, or take five minutes to load each game, like the originals did. Which is always a good thing in my . . / op1n1on. So, switch off your brain and flex those fingers ... you've got some good ol' fashioned gaming to do!

ut , how come the essential nat ure of comput er games has changed so much in the last 15 years? I mean, rather than the simply controlled, no-plot-all-action, finger flexers that ruled the world then, we are now immersed in deeply woven background stories, scenes that have been crafted down to the most intricate details and action that, if it doesn't require at least five buttons and a cursor pad to operate is seen as obsolete. Is this really j ust down to the fact that technology has moved to the point that we do it because we can? I' m not so sure. it seems t hat society has become more obsessed with recreating what is real t hrough the medium of electronics, and computer games have fallen into the same obsessive thread. I

Wednesday, March 14, 2001

The road trip produced some of the twentieth century's greatest works of film and literature. And with the Easter hols fast approaching, now's the perfect time to make like Kerouac, get in the car and drive. So The Event stocked up on jelly babies, wound the windows down and hit the A4 7 in search of the great East Anglian dream ...

e were somewhere around Hemsby on the edge of the Broads when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like " I thought Big 0 hula hoops are slightly bigger than that" when suddenly a huge roar engulfed the car. "What the hell?" I remember thinking - or did I shout it? Communication in the tiny Metro had broken down long ago. We were now at the mercy

of misunderstanding. Suddenly the sound howled louder. A huge sugar beet t路uck passed on the right side. Fa>t lane. "Oh mercy, a commercial vehicle. That means the killer bats aren't onto us," a voice jabbered to the ignorant audienc-e. They weren't listening. lt was just as well. Things were becoming twisted. No sense in scaring them before we really got started. That would come Iat er. Naturally. I really should have known. The East Anglian dream was never going to be easy to find. We

would lose things along the way: friends, dignity, our minds. "I do anything for the readers," I'd grimaced to the editor. "Even this". I vaguely remember something about recreating road trip movies and novels for The Event. Thelma and Louise, Easy Rider, On The Road and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas were to be our bibles for the next seven hours. The task? To see if the great road trip - the 'last great college tradition' could lead us to the heart of the East Anglian Dream. I had 拢7 .52, most of which I had spent on drugs the previous evening. Pacing the Norwich streets on a quest to find something, anything. This was going to be dangerous and I would need I)Ram:lac.eutJcal..protection..._ The hunt had gone pretty well - though I got a bit carried away. 23 tablets of finest Prop!us, roughly two and a half bottles of Grandma Eden's cough

syrup, some Guarva chewing gum which I had found down the back of my bed (lt was two years old, so I just chewed it harder), and 13 herbal Nytol caps. Y'know , just to take the edge off. No sleep had come my way in 38 hours. and the world seemed blunted. The drugs were kicking in- 70 miles an hour down A47, with the windows rolled down quite a long way for that all-important Cadillac effect. Bad craziness. The outside world now appeared as if it was being broadcast through a cheap transistor radio. This was suicide. But onward, the road was calling. Maybe if we just drove, drove away from this madness...

s we motored down the open road, the mood in the car was one of optimism and hope. This was it - we were breaking free. No more would cynicism and the expectations of others ruling our lives. Soon we would find the real East Anglia! Its truths would be ours. Before long Norwich was far behind us - and with it, our pasts. Ahead lay the future, limitless opportunity, the chance to begin again, and Great Yarmouth. Excitedly we chatted about where our expedition might lead. What adventures awaited us? What foreign cultures would we discover? Would beer be cheaper in less populated areas? For the first time in years we felt alive - and by God it felt

good. Fifteen minutes later the atmosphere was a little less enthusiastic. Cries of "Are we nearly thtre yet?" emanated from the back seat. The conversation turned to the relative merits of Giant Hula Hoops against their smaller cousins, and whether their bigness actually affected their flavour. lt gradually became apparent that all was not exactly going to plan: the poetic, lyrical vistas of Easy Rider were seeming further and further away. Kerouac's incandescent lust for life wasn't present in this car. Wherever heaven is. it ain't on the A47. Surely this was meant to make us feel young? Where did the joie de vivre go? The lust, the passion, the drive? Pfff,

Merek seemed to be a tad squiffy, pasty white with his face pressed against the glass. Slowly we stopped talking altogether, each remembering happier times, before the jelly babies ran out. But then something incredible happened. Just as we began to wonder if we had made a mistake, through the rain a sign emerged. At first we couldn't read it, our tired eyes unable to focus. But then, as we drew closer, the sign became clear. We stopped the car and got out, just to check the vision was true. On it was written a single word, the name of a place that inspired us, even compelled us, to continue. The word was California. Suddenly our young lives were filled with purpose.

Where better to hunt for the heart of East Anglia than in the very same utopia that rolled over and let the American Dream do its filthy business all over its once-virginal plains? Admittedly, there was a faint possibility that this California could be a grotty seaside resort that happened to have the same name. But hey, dreams ain't dreams if they can't be broken. With our faith restored and Kerouac on our minds, we set off to California (California!), and the next stage of our journey. After a brief retracing of our tracks - we realised we had left Astrid (sorry, Thelma) behind at the sign, and had to turn around to get her - we continued on the road to hell

rek aving poured my feeble advance into the vacuous world of narcotic _ insulation, my funds were dangerously low. The group had split, we all had our own agendas now. lt was every man for himself. I was concerned with my own selfish need. The need to gamble, recoup the loss. They would never find out. Las Vegas was just up ahead: well, California's

Bingo arcade was, anyway. Was this the East Anglian dream? Locked doors, crushed dreams. Low rent gambling on a rain whipped coast. But I was rapt, driven: the need, the need.. . I required money and with the Arcade it would have been within my grasp. But there were others- I could see the glowing cluster of gambling parlors on the skyline as I stumbled down the road. Iridescent pinks and blues cut through the dull grey afternoon light. The Mirage! The Mirage! I could almost taste it. If I was a moth, The Mirage Arcade was the flame. Tentatively, I entered the parlour of dreams. A mistake. The drugs, the lack of sleep, the hopelessness of our journey was beginning to affect me in ever

more cruel -and evil ways. Vicious hallucinations gripped my weary frame. "Thi> place crawls" A whispered warning to myself. "Be calm, be quiet say nothing... speak only when spoken to: name, rank, press affiliation, nothing else. Ignore the terrible drugs, the Pro Plus. Pretend it's not happening... " I cannot explain the raw fear I felt in this moment. Paranoia ruled my senses as I eyed the curious locals. Their curious hair. I could hear their thoughts, a stranger, an outsider ... Wait. Think. To gain money I must first have change. I approached the cashier encased in the glass prison. As I watched him count out my coppers, his fat sweaty face began to take on a

distinctly reptilian appearance. Pulsing, changing. White hot terror. I grabbed a handful of pennies and ran to the Tuppeny Nudger. Forgetting about the f-ing reptile zoo surrounding me, in the edgy rush exuberance of monetary gain. Win win win ... lt was over in a flash. Not even the sweet lord would aid me - even though I appealed to him on several occasions. lt seems that my dream of riches was, indeed, a mirage. God damn that elusive East Anglian Dream! Broken, my spirit crushed and money gone, I left the arcade. I was in real t rouble, but felt no pain. Yet. That would come later. Naturally.

m mAstrid

o there we were, driving endlessly onwards, the lashing rain making navigation all but impossible. Yet still the look of grim determination on James the driver's face made it clear we would not be returning home empty handed. What had begun as a pleasant day out had become a crusade. We were tired, hungry, broke and miserable. Worst of all, the East Anglian Dream remained as elusive as ever. If only, we thought, there was some kind of national chain of roadside restaurants providing reasonably priced, good quality food and well-maintained toilet

Wednesday, March 14~ 2001

facilities that might also give us a chance t) observe the Norfolk people in their natural environment. When the Little Chef appeared before us, we knew we were destined to succeed. However, the Little Chef created more problems than it solved. Easy Rider had lead us to be ieve that this kind of establishment would be packed with interest ing backward characters. lnste3d we, with our somewhat bedraggled appearance, seemed far more backward than any of our 'ellow diners, and the staff attended to our needs 'Nith polite efficiency. it took the extortionate bill to

make us realise the truth- for all the distance we had travelled, the ways of the West had followed. Terrified, we fled into the car pack and drove until we could drive no more. Mainly because we were hungry, but also because we reached the sea. The sea? Could this be The End? We had no further to travel - this was as far east as we could possibly go. And it was ... miserable. For an hour or so we wandered aimlessly around. Somehow making sandcastles isn't the same when you're freezing cold, soaking wet and the sand is strewn with t urds. In desperation we turned to the

movies that had sent us on this trip, but there were no answers to be found. Only Platoon, a film with very few roads indeed, offered any guidance on how to deal with being lost in a hostile, pointless, soaking wet situation. Defeated, I sank to my knees and raised my arms in the air, my sodden Hawaiian shirt flapping in the wind. The first casualty of road trips is dress sense. lt looked like we'd reached California. The land of milk and honey. Dejected, we all decided to split. You've got to find the dream on your own, man ...

eing the feisty , gun-totin' Southern gal ah am, I had no troubles coping ith four frustrated all day. Well, I 'from South London. The

wasn't long before the boys got comfortable, then abusive. The testosterone levels were rising, and I decided I'd had enough of them. lt was time to find myself a real man. I sashayed to the bar and carefully surveyed the possibilities. I had an image of a tall, slim yet muscular Southern boy, with floppy blonde hair and a square jaw. Dammit, like Thelma in Thelma and Louise, I wanted Brad Pitt. And I wanted him now , The door of the bar opened, and I caught my breath in anticipation. In walked a short, balding man in his mid 40s, with a nasty skin complaint and several double chins. I could have wept with disappointment, but then remembered I was in Yarmouth. When I returned to our table, the boys had drunk themselves into a stupor. I left them there and stalked out alone. Into the rain. I had to get away from this place, if it was the last thing I did. I cast wildly about for transport, but realised that the car keys were in the driver's pocket. There was no way I was going back now, not at this stage. And anyway, I can't drive. lt was then that I spied a building in the distance, with the words ' Benny's Go-Kart Track路 flashing on the side in green neon. I ran as fast as I could, until I ran out of breath and was forced to walk the rest of the way. Once I'd reached

the track, it was the work of a minute to flirt with the attendant and steal a go-kart while he went to the toilet. I was free, I really was. I drove the kart <>ut of the track and headed for the coast. If I could just ma<e it out of Yarmouth, I would be-fine. it was then I heard sirens. The police were drawing level with me. My engine was choking, and I was trapped, heading towards the cliff. 1 reck lessly stuck my tongue out at them, and decided that my end would be magnificent. However, as I approached the cliff edge, I ran out of petrol. I sat in my go-kart, feeling foolish, aaslittle the

police approached. I got in the back of the panda car sheepishly, admitting that I had stolen the kart. I tried explaining that I was only trying to find the East Anglian dream, but the police laughed cruelly at me and told me it was a lost cause, especially in Yarmouth. My dreams and hopes in tatters, they drove me to the police station. I never did find out what happend to those other guys. Maybe they found the Dream, maybe they didn't. All I know is that it's out there somewhere, and it probably has a haircut. on movin'.

1:=::::=::::==:::~=~;::::::::::;:::::--..

Wednesday, March 14, 2001

~--------------------~----=--------·~ . -~

Inspected: Music ~--~~~~~~~-------------evet nhet ~

The best thing about Gorillaz is that it has put cartoon god Jamie Hewlett back into work. The best cartoonist Britain has produced for decades - he of Tank Girl fame- has been criminally underused of late. But now he's back, kicking creative ass with the oddball Gorillaz website and videos. Gorillaz are a collaboration super-group, with many secret members. Damon Albarn is the most obvious, and rumours of Kid Koala and James Lavelle's involvement are rife. lt's all kept stri ctly under wraps with a little help from M r Hewlett, who has created cartoon personas for each band member. While all this might sound rather gimmicky, it's actually very refreshing to find a band who don't put too much of their star personalities into an album. A mash of hip hop, laid back lo-fi guitars, punky vocals and a bit of...you know ... that singing their debut album to be both fun

and contemplative by turns. Stand out tracks are the single Clint Eastwood (which is remixed and sped up for the secret track on the end); the self-explanatory Punk, complete with handclaps and fun multiple breaks; party song Rock the House; and M1A1, the brilliantly built-up finale which Damon manages to make into the best Blur song Blur never wrote. Some of it is a bit too laid back, to the point of dirge (think Death of a Party, slowed down). When they do bring out the feel good melodies though (Rock the House Is a good example), it really does make you wanna dance. it's an oddly varied album, veering from Tribe Called Quest-esque hip hop to slower versions of the kind of instrumentals found on Beasties' Check Your Head, to bizarre latino, to out-and-out indie pop. Definitely interesting, and worth buying just for the artwork. Go Jamie! Astrld Goldsmith

------------------------~~ The first four tracks on Ciao are from the most recent and last album, Lovel/fe, released in 1996. lt opens with Ladykillers, arguably the best track on the album. lt incorporates fast moving, toe tapping guitars. and lyrics with attitude. Single Girl is a classic anthem, simple lyrics but one can't help singing along. Ciao, a "lllting duet• with the familiar voice of Jarvis Cocker, has lyrics which are witty, entertaining and amusing. 500, the last track to come from their 1996 era, competes with Single Girl for the most singalongable song. The next six tracks are from their 1994 album, Split. You might think all they're good for is background music, but when you put them on they invade your thoughts. They concentrate on Anderson's beautiful voice and support it just enough with gentle melodies. In tracks 11·14 the jangly guitars are hiding in the

background. and still the sound Is mellow. These songs have brilliant melodies and will quietly catch your attention when you least expect it. In the last four tracks the guitars are loud and jangly, they seem to revel in experimental percussion sounds, which adds to the novelty and unique quality that their songs possess. The tunes are pumped up and full of energy. The lyrics are no longer gentle. they compliment the music and represent the fun attitude that surrounds Lush. The ending of Lush came suddenly, in the suicide of drummer, Chris Ackland. One can only feel that music lost something with the end of Lush. They were a brilliant versatile band. This album combines uplifting, catchy tunes, with emotional, tear welling melodies. Three words that best sum up Ciao are happy, sad and fantastic! Chtoe Garrett

Ash Burn Baby Burn Despite its worrying lyrical connection to scary Tina Turner's 70s monstrosity Disco Inferno, this punk pop instapt indie classic sees a return to fqrm for Tim Wheeler and eo. Although it owes an awful lot to Debaser by the Pixies (well, the entire beginning actually), it is nevertheless a fantastically happy song, with proper Ash fuzzy guitars and an upbeat melody that makes you wanna jump up and down. Astrld Goldsmith

Also Released: Muse Plug In Baby Turn on, plug in, and drop into the top 10. Despite lifting the bass line lock, stock and barrel from French dance duo Air's Sexy Boy, this is

Muse'ssuongest~n~etod•e.Ye~~eydo still sound like an uptempo Bends-era Radiohead, I~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ FlightCrank is Leeroy Thornhill who, since leaving the and if the entire album consisted of tracks like these, but where's the harm in that? Top notch amuseProdigy last year, has remixed tracks for various artists including Moby, David Gray and Southern Fly. Not content with merely remixing he has now moved on to create his own music, the result of which is Beyond All Reasonable Doubt. Bright Lights gives a chilling and atmospheric start to the album, with simple yet hypnotic lyrics over a chaotic bass line. Twisted is a groovy reggae track remixed by Lee Scratch Perry. What U Need Is an intense track, a funky beat with Massive Attack-style female vocals by Charli Tucker. Inside Out is a fantastic instrumental, again very funky and well mixed. lt is

we'd be hailing the new whizz kid on the dance block. Unfortunately, it's doesn't. Halfway through the album. the style of music takes a turn for the worse. For no apparent reason, it goes lo-fi indie. The outcome is a shockingly bad combination of The Lighthouse Family and ocean Colour Scene • Finley Quaye makes a guest appearance on Matchsticks playing harmonica. Need I go on? The problem lies with the lyrics; throughout the album all of the lines are very childlike, repetitive nursery-rhyme lyrics. For the funk and trance tracks on this album, it works extremely well. For the indie tracks- to put it bluntly ~t~ he~s=e~ ki~n~d~ s ~o~f~ tr~a~ c~ ks~th~a~t~a~r= e :~·~o~ h ~':' ';: ··~~~=~~~he~u~s~t_: sounds like a moron. Chrlstlnai':=~:..

Ocean Colour Scene Mechanical Wonder Ocean Colour Scene are a very predictable band. Just mentioning their name conjures up thoughts of jangly guitars, catchy, Beatles-esque melodies and quasimeaningful, often melancholic lyrics. lt is not surprising, then, that Mechanical Wonder is an album of, yep, exactly what I've just described. Quite clearly the Beatles are still the band's main influence; Sail My Boat is a song that a less-talented John Lennon may well have written, and Biggest Thing is a bizarre mix between - you guessed it - the Beatles and Coldplay, proving that OCS listen to more than one band. The title track sounds, at times, like a rejected

outtake from Davld Bowle's Space Oddity, and Can't Get Back to the Bassline, a more upbeat, spacey tune, sees the band return to their mildly psychedelic eponymous debut album. There are no tracks that especially stand out, but that's the very nature of their music -what they do best, rather than write exceptional songs, is to create a particular sound. lt doesn't break any new ground, but if yoy can't write songs better than your idols you may as well plagiarise them. As such, OCS won't ever record a truly great album, but at least they're consistent. Mlscha Peatman

Live sell out concert mass many a shoulder left burned by the touch of a lit cigarette, before being cooled by a deluge of spilt lager. The band are at their best in these conditions, and having witnessed them in venues ranging from sweaty pubs to festival stages, I would say that their live show Is perhaps best suited to concerts of this size. The band chooses a sensible set, weighted towards the faster, heavier songs that characterise their early repertoire. Feeder manage to strike a balance between diamond-edged melody and steel toecapped riffing which manages to avoid being swamped by either drums or excessive bass. In fact, the band even has an extra dimension added by a keyboard player, who performs whilst taking photographs at regu lar intervals. Any lingering doubts about the band's live potential are quickly dispelled by a sensational start, which sees such favourites as Stereo World, My Perfect Day, Cement and Buck Rogers all performed before the set Is 45 minutes old. But have the band played themselves into a corner too early? Thankfully, t he answer is no. The imminent third album

Wednesday, March 14, 2001

means have a new songs to p into. Forthcoming single 7 Days In The Sun suggests that Feeder have plenty of inventiveness left, and long-term fans are rewarded for their perseverance by the appearance of Sweet Sixteen from debut mini-album Swim. Japanese bassist Taka rushes around the stage like an oriental express, whilst necessarily more static vocal· istjguitarist Grant plays a blinder. Despite not being the most communicative frontman, his singing voice is strong and has a fine range. His guitar playing ability is perhaps more impressive, as he represses his natural pop Instincts beneath a wall of riffs. Leaving at the end of a fine set, we are t reated to a feedback overload, as he leaves his guitar on his effects board. Fortunately, the band return to encore with the infinitely more tuneful Can't Dance To Disco, which gains new energy In the live arena. They end on a high with, erm, High, and leave behind an LCR on the verge of seriously overheating through excitement. Whether they can make the next step up to play the bigger venues remains to be seen, but on the evidence of tonight Feeder look to have the world at their feet. Onwards and upwards...

ment.

Anthony Lovell

Nick Cave and the Bad SeedS As I Sat Sadly By Her Side After a four-year wait, finally they've released something new. Surprisingly upbeat in tempo if not in content, it isn't a huge departure from their last album. The only criticism being that the vocal is so high that he's straining to reach the notes in places. A beautifully simple yet effective mix of tinkling piano, bass and vocals. Chrtsttna Lymbourts

Terris Learning

to let Go

Terris were termed the 'next big thing' by NME 2 years ago, but considering this single it's not surprising they've yet to make an impression. From the twangy guitar intro t he 'melody' is hardly distinguishable and the lead singer's David Bowie soundalike voice makes him sound like a losing contestant on Stars In Their Eyes. Unimaginative and boring. Amy Harrts

Everlast Two Deadly Assasins If you thought Black Jesus meant Everlast (aka Eric Schrody) had gone soft, think again. Everlast returns to his roots spitting deadly verses to a foreboding ten ton bass groove. Featuring Cypress Hill mainman B-Real, Two deadly Assassins is a piece of pure hip-hop venom that will make Eminem look like Boyzone. Kleren McSweeny

___ eveilt ============--= i7

ected: Film

15.

Audition

Directed by: Takashi Miike Starring: Renji lshibashi, Ryo lshibashi and Miyuki Matsuda

Japanese film Is under going a latterday renaissance and the press are singing the new horror's praises. Audition teaches some hard lessons In love. Very hard lessons. If there is one genre that defines Japanese cinema today it's the horror movie. The Japanese have succeeded where most others have failed, creating a wholly original new style of horror. When most Western people try to visualise the type of film that typifies the Japanese cinematic experience they invariably hit two distinct stylistic brick walls: the monster movie or a Kurosaw& esque samurai adventure. Hopefully with this fresh movement the general public will be provoked into giving the Japanese film industry a serious re-appraisal. No longer will they be cursed by the image of stunt men staggering around Lilliput like sets pretending to be mile high monsters .. Now the Japanese have got a chance to prove what they really can do. This new movement arguably started when Hideo Nakata made the highly successful Ringu, a haunting film about a spooky video which was being circulated around Tokyo. The video came complete with a chilling legend: whoever watched the offending tape ended up dead within a week under very strange circumstances indeed. Although the acting Is slightly suspect the film overall was a triumph, by virtue of it's bizarre subject matter. While Audition revels in the same aesthetic darkness, its subject matter is more real, less supernatural and, therefore, far more affecting. The story involves a middle age businessman who, as a single parent, is encouraged by his son to search out a new wife. He hits upon

the idea of holding a set of auditions with the hidden agenda of finding the perfect bride. As he sifts through the mountain of application forms he becomes obsessed with a girl in white who exudes a tranquil mysterious beauty. He starts to court the 'good' lady when all at once things turns decidedly nasty. Audition, like a good poison, works its magic slowly, ambling along for the first hour, quite happily letting the darkness bubble under the surface. In fact Audition is a film of two halves, the first a lightly observed social comedy and the second a visceral trip into the painful world of extreme sadism. While the film is scythed in two, the constituents are bound together by a queasy sense of something being very wrong. Right from the beginning it is apparent that director Takeshi Miike is turning the screw, leaving clues and increasing the tension. While the majority of the column inches that Audition has garnered have concerned themselves with promoting the more shocking and gratuitous aspects of the film, inclu,ding mass walkouts, the film actually tunctions best before the graphic violence kicks off. Havipg said that once you have seen them, Audition's repulsive images will haunt you in the darkness of the paranoid night. Perhaps prompting all those uncaring guys out there to sit by the phone, with your little black book, apologising to all the girls you may have wronged. Y'know, just to make sure. Merek Cooper

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Best in Show

Directed by: Christopher Guest Starring: Christopher Guest, Parker Posey, Catherine O'Hara and Eugene Levy

Ok, the Idea of going to watch a mockumentary set In the world of Ametlcan dog I shows might seem a bit out there ... but appearances can be very deceptive. Picture the scene - outside the cinema, trying .to decide what to see- a pseudo-documentary about the world of the American dog show, or the latest by numbers romantic comedy or action movie. Arnie it is then? Maybe not. Christopher Guest's new film Best in Show is probably one of the-funniest films you'll see this year. The film follows five dogs and their owners as they vie for the blue ribbon that goes to Best in Show. Guest's film is extremely well observed, and blenqs gentle humour with laugh-out-lot,~d moments. In many ways it's similar to the king of mockumentaries This is Spinal Tap- so it comes as no surprise to learn that Guest both eo-wrote and starred in that opus, and he does here - playing Arlen Pepper, backwoods loner and lover of bioodhounds. Our other dog lovers include neurotic yuppies who met at Starbucks; a flamboyant gay couple with a collection of pedigree shih-tzus; a trophy wife with an award winning poodle and Gerry and Cookie Fleck, owners of a Norwich Terrier, and the writers of such wonderful tunes as 'Everyone Loves a Terrier'. Clearly for all of these couples (with the exception of Pepper) - their dogs are surrogate children and it goes without saying that

all of the dog owners are a little unhinged, just to destroy any myths that only the English can do eccentricity justice. Where Best in Show really excels, is in capturing the tiniest details- details that prevent the characters from descending into pure parody. Guest's characters are comic, but are almost entirely believable. They are from the land of Jerry Springer after all... The dog show itself would be dull it not for the hilarious commentary provided by arl idiot tv anchorman, asking inane questions of British expert and eo-host, for example, wondering if the judges could be bribed, if the bloodhound would look better in a little deerstalker hat, and revelling in the ability to say shih-tzu on live television. This also works as a device to explain how dog shows work to the rest of us, who ordinarily wouldn't care. But Guest's film succeeds because by the end we do care about this disparate group of crazies, and it's almost a shame to say goodbye at the end. Best in Show is a v.;onderfully refreshing change from standard Hollywood comedies, and a great way to spend an hour and a half. Worthy of a blue ribbon. Steve Qulrke

Miss Congenializy

18 =

Trolosa Faithless)

Directed by: Donald Petrie Starring: Sandra Bullock, Benjamin Bratt and Michael Caine

Directed by: Liv Ullman Starring: Lena Endre, Erland Josephson and Krister Henriksson

Bullock succeeds In turning this FBI beauty pageant comedy Into something far better than-lt should have been.

Another stunning film from the Norwegian Llv Ullman, a woman who deserves far more credit than she gets.

Back in 1994, shortly after Speed, Sandra Bullock was quoted saying, "I want to make small films everyone's crazy about". With her latest project she achieves this goal - because if nothing else, Miss Congeniality will drive you insane. The ever-so-slightly-duff concept behind the picture is that the FBI must sel'ld an agent undercover to find a serial killer threatening the Miss United States Beauty Pageant. Obviously, with this being Movieland, the agent must pose as a State's entrant and obviously, the only woman even vaguely suitable for the mission is Bullock who initially is a little, for want of a better word, unrefined. The premise is a second-rate screenwriter's dream, raiding every cliche in the book to bring you occasional laughter and gut-churningly cheerful feel-good moments. Benjamin Bratt plays the love interest, oblivious to Bullock's charms and Michael Caine is the disgraced mentor with one last chance to make good. Also look out for the kooky best friend, the 'make-over' montage, the 'girls bonding' section and the unfair, shouting boss (Ernie Hudson). Almost everything about Miss Congeniality screams straight to video or even straight to television - with one important exception. Through all this garbage, Bullock genuinely shines. She instils in her character (named by the FBI Gracie-Lou Freebush, ho ho ho) a sense of humour and warmth that both transcends and lifts the material. Following a series of terrible, terrible films (Hope Floats, Practical Magic, 28 Days, Speed 2, In Love and War, Stolen Hearts yes, it 's quite a list), this serves as a remioder as to why she became a star in the first place. Not wanting to be too rhapsodic, but she is the only leading mainstream actress currently around to show any hint of comic ability . Prior to her transformation in the film , Bullock is truly repulsive, eating ice cream in a fashion from which those with a weak stomach may wish to avert their eyes. After the transformation she is radiant. For Bullock and Bullock alone, Miss Congeniality is worth watching. Her comedy laugh is worth the price of admission alone. J/m Whal/ey

First of all, I know, I spend most of my time moaning about the current state of cinema. Anyone who knows me will attest to the fact that I can spend endless rambling hours setting the movie world to rights, mourning the fact that most people seem to know nothing about what constitutes authentic cinematic art. And furthermore I am acutely aware of how anal this tendency can be, but I can't help myself. If I see something wrong I just feel duty bound to correct it. So on with the moan. lt has come to my attention, while reviewing Faithless, that people seem to know very little about the legendary director lngmar Bergman. This in my humble opinion is a crime. So here I go again: lngmar Bergman was a Swedish director who made some of the most revered films in European movie history, the majority being character driven existential meditations that, while painful to watch, are as affecting as films can ever hope to be. His films have been endlessly copied, most notably the chess game with death that appears in the dreadful Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, stolen directly from his film The Seventh Seal. Another fan of Bergman is a certain New York director named Woody Alien, whose adoration for the great man has lead him to litter his career with various Bergman-esque situations. Bergman did not direct Faithless, he has not directed a movie since the early eighties, but his presence looms large over the whole production. Faithless began as a script written by Bergman and was adapted for film by Liv Ullman, an ex lover of the Swedish philanderer, and it deals loosely with real events from his life. Faithless is a painful but rewarding study of the destructive love that exists between two people who begin an affair that is doomed from the start. Most of the credit for this wonderful film must go to its director Ullman, a woman who started her film career as a beautiful actress and has now successfully made the transition into serious filmmaker with a string of well regarded critical successes. Faithless will ensure that this success continues, and hopefully people will finally take Merek Cooper not ice.

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the

Ins me~!llilC~t~ 路 e~d~:~ V__i_d~eil<_O~~Mfll!lf[!f[fl[tflfffj[p,-~-路--event Directed by: Todd Philips Starr ing : Tom Green , Seann William Scott and Breckin Meyer

Oh to go to an American college and meet ever so funny people who look like they just stepped out of an explosion in a Gap factory ... Road Trip, another teen film to add to an already burgeoning genre, can be read to a large extent as a teenage male's checklist for schoolboy humour. Semen jokes? Check. Full frontal female nudity? Yup. An al penetration gags? Oh yeah. Inappropriate sexual coupling? Indeed. Vibrator included? Yes sir. But in saying that . the jokes are pretty good. Infant ile, yes. but funny. In following There's Somet hing About Mary and American Pie, the film does run the risk of doing the same gags, and using the same cast (Seann William Scott. E L in Road Trip, played Stifler in American Pie), but it does, in some inexplicable manner, get aw ay with it . The plot c ould not be simpler. Boy (Josh, Breckin Meyer) and g irl (Tiffany, Rachel Blanc hard) in long distance relationship at college, boy hears from g1rl's roommate tl1at she hasn't slept in her bed for a few days. Boy goes out and sleeps with exceeding ly attractive blonde (Beth. Amy Smart ) . And films 1t. Then , instead of a video letter, the sex movie is posted to Tiffany. Doll! So Josh. assisted by three mal e friends (of course). then sets about driving the 1800 miles to intercept the package, during wh ich hilarity ensues. To top it all off. the whole calamity coincides with the mid-term exams that Josh has to pass in order to st ay in university. Yikes! The narrative device in the film is also desperately standard, with the story t old retrospective ly by

Barry (Tom Green) to a bunch of prospective students and parents at the University of lthaca. The way the film returns periodically to the narrator at various points is very much in the Titan ic vein. Except , rather than an irritating old hag, Tom Green is excellent, putting his own spin on the story - hence the nudity - and recounting his own obsession with feeding a mouse to a snake . Best of all about the film , the whole thing is funnier than it should be. Key to the film 's success is the casting. Just as American Pie got the four character types about right, so too does Road Trip. Breckin Meyer is perfect as main c haracter Josh , playing th e 'normal guy路 reason ably accurately. The other three also fulfil their stereotypes effectively. and the characters are interesting enough to keep you involved. The film rolls along. with decent music over the driving sequences, qu1ckly moving from comedy set piece to comedy set piece, alternatively involving sex, cannabis or blind people. Eventually, they reach their destination (Austin. Texas) and the film can be concluded m a happy , coming-of-age manner. Road Trip will not change your life. it will not go down in the annals of film history, and it will probably be superseded by another gross teenage movie before too long. But in the meantime, it wi ll make you laugh. You never know, maybe that anal penetration gag will hit the spot exactly. Jlm Whal/ey ~-; ::f~rT

Kee

Hollow Man Directed by: Paul Verhoeven and Jost Vacano Starring: Kevin Bacon and Elisabeth Shue, Josh Brolin , Ki m Dicken s, Joey Slotnick

Di rected by: John Singleton Starring: Samuel L Jackson, Toni Collette and Christian Bale

Mad scientist takes invisibility potion, turns invisible, can 't become visible again, so kills lots of people.

2000 remake of 70s blaxpoitation detective drama. And the point being? To improve on it actually. Duh.

Dr Sebastian Caine ( Kevin Bacon) is an egotistical scientist, the head of a team working on a top secret invisibilit y project for the Pentagon. He has perfected the invisibility potion on animals, (apart from their tendency to go a little crazy, which doesn't cause anyone much alarm) but has been having the odd probl em turning them back. After many c ri es of 'I'm losing cohesion!路 th e tea m find a concoct ion that works, at least according to their com put er. lt is then tested on an invisible animal and, with the most stomach churn ing special effects I've ever seen, slowly turns a gorilla visible, vein by vein. The goril la seems fine, so Dr Caine decides it 's t ime to try it on himself and manages to convince his gullible team to agree to this. In a similarly gruesome manner to the gori lla, he becomes inv isible. But. of course, there ' s a problem . He can't be turned back , something to do w ith the cohesion and lac k thereof. A few days of being invisible brings on ca bin fever, and dressed in an interesting array of c lothes including gloves, hat, sunglasses and very unconvincing pink plastic head mould, Caine escapes. But not to cause havoc on t he world, just to spy on ex-girlfriend <Jnd team member linda ( Elisabet h Shue) and to identify her new lover who, much to Caine's dismay, t urns out to be his assistant M at t (Josh Brolin) . For no justified reason. Caine goes crazy, and the last half hour of the film becomes a gory slasher movie, with him raping, assaulting and murdering almost the entire cast. Again, there are more fantastic special effects, but little explanation for the sudden change in plot. This is actually a remake of HG We lls 1933 classic The Invisible Man. Sadly, this version avoids the emotional anguish of the original invisible man, and concentrates more on the shallow re lationships between the c l1aracters. To turn what was originally a very interesting and thought-provokmg fil m into an erotic bloodbath , is a little disappointing. If. thoug h, you want to see some excellent spec1al effec t s, a lot of blood and some naked women, without the annoying distraction of a plot. you won't go wrong with this. lt , of course, mean s that you Christina Lymbourls have no brain though.

it's a close ly g uarded secret t hat the original Shaft isn't actually a very good film. Most people tend to hear the theme song and assume the movie must be just as good. Unfortunately, whereas the lsaac Hayes classic is amusing and coo l, the film it was written for is leaden and features some of the most horrific pl aid trousers yet passed by the BBFC. Therefore, it is somethi ng of a relief to announced that John Singleton's remake is both sign ificantly better and retain s the musical reminder that "he's a complicated man and no one understands him but his women ". Sig nifica nt ly better still doesn't mean it's actual ly great. Sing leton has assembled an amazing cast and t here are some fantastic scenes, but the tone of the film is uncertain , switch ing repeat edly from drama , to thriller , to action and back again. If the director had concentrated on any one of these elements the resu lt would have been much improved. Shaft also re-inforces that peculiar movie convention that good guys can't kill anyone whil e they're policemen, but once they've turned in their badge they can blow away half a dozen people without any consequences. lt was always obvious that Samuel L Jackson was the perfect actor to play Shaft and he doesn't disappoint, moving through the film with an effortless cool. Yet it is Christian Bale as Shaft ' s nemesis that really impresses. Too often these days evil characters are more charismatic than the hero. There is no danger of that happening here. Bale is an absolute bastard whose every slimy, repellent action makes you more certain that you want him to suffer horribly. His inevitable demise is one of the most satisfying in modern cinema . Also watch ou t fo r a cameo from Richard Roundtree (the original Shaft) as Uncle John. Shaft is ideal as a Friday night movie. it ' s fun to watch , di sposabl e ci nema t hat benefits enormously from good c asting. In the nght mood the ludicrous plot (invol vi ng a rac ist ki lling and a missing w1tness) . and som etimes unnecessari ly gratuitous violence can make it even more enjoyabl e. In t11e wrong mood. however . they don't. Jim Whalley

Wednesday, March 14, 2001

i~-~~

:a:a

x1mr=m

the Faith

Directed by: Edward Norton Starring: Edw ard Norton, Ben Stiller and Jenna Elfman

Edward Norton escapes from the traumas of punching himself in the face and successfully indulges in a religious romantic comedy. Versatility? Oh yeah ... lt is somewhat refreshing to see the talented Mr Norton making a film wh ich doesn 't involve extreme violence or fascism. In fact. Keeping the Faith, Norton's directori al debut, could not be furtl1er from Fight Club and American History X both in terms of style and content. A sunny , light-hearted little ta le about three best friends in New York, this film is so nice and sweet, it would ooze sugar if it weren't for the quirky plot touches. Brian Kilkenny Finn ( Norton), Anna Rei lly ( Eifman) and Jake Schram (Sti ller) were inseparable when they were eight years old . When Anna's family moved away from New York, Jake and Brian were heartbroken but maintained their friendship with each other. They both grow up to be re ligious leaders - Brian a Roman Catholic priest and Jake a rabbi . Thi s being Hollywood- and a Disney film to boot - they are naturally the best, most talent ed. inspirational priest/rabbi ever to grace New York 's synagogues/churches. However, even though they are wonderful people and highly attractive, t hey are still - gasp! - single. Well, Brian has an excuse (you know , the priest thing), but Jake is

just fussy. His pickiness in women is demonstrated by various fai led dates with hideous, overbearing, desperate Jewish women that the Jew ish mommas of his congregation push upon him . Enter Anna Reilly, all grown up. A supersuccessfu l corporate executive, Anna is now sur'prise surprise - staggeringly beautiful. Jake, Brian and Anna quickly reform the close friendship they once had, but in a more grownup, going out for dinner kind of way. lt doesn't take much to wo rk out where this one' s heading. Although both men fall in love with her, neither can do much about it (legally or morall y anyway), as Bri an has a tricky vow of celibacy to get round , and Jake is obliged to marry a Jewish girl. And then there's that whole friendship mal ark ey too. Although it teeters on the brink of religious stereotyping at times ( part icularly with the archetypal pushy Noo Yawk Jewish mothers and their Jew ish princess daughters), Keeping the Faith is a very involving and, at times, thoughtprovoking rom ant ic comedy whic h is a change from the usual Meg Ryan fluff. Astrid Goldsmith

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Inspected: Arts !ea..8

iS Opera Review: Choosing to perform an opera in English , rather than its original language, always makes me a bit sceptical. English isn't, if we 're honest , a language in which arias can sound anywhere near as beautiful as they do in , for example, Italian. However, in Opera North's production of The Marriage of Figaro, the translator, Amanda Holden, made up for the choice of language by using humour to advance the plot and entertain the audience between the arias. The humour was restricted to the language though. The director, Carol ine Gaw , chose to bring out the comedy of the opera in all areas of the production and the audience was rarely far from laughing. From making Cherubino's ( Emer McGilloway) head pop up from behind the dust sheet w~ere he is hiding while the Count (Roderick Will iams)'s attempts to seduce Susanna ( Colette Delahunt), to having

Figaro (Christopher Purves) jump into the arms of his newly-found father (Michael John Pearson), the action is constantly comica l. This was effectively contrasted with the more serious moments when the ~ocial message of the opera became clearer. The cast 's abilities were not restricted to sing ing , although this was always faultless. MaJella Cullagh's solo aria of the third act in particular stood out. The acting was also very slick. Roderick Williams and Collette Delahunt especially shone in portraying the comical aspects of their characters. The second act 's build up of singers, from the Countess's sorrowful aria to the septet at its finale , was stunningly performed, with linda Dobell and Catherine Malone's choreography driving it on at a fast pace. The last aria of thiS act especially was extremely well choreographed . The seven singers never looked cramped on stage and moved around constantly , even, at the act's conclusion , performing a dance of triumph between the Count , Bartolo, Basil io and Marcellina. The effective set design conveyed the opera 's main theme, the exploitation of the lower classes, in its contrast between the dull , grey set of the servants' quarters in the first act and the Countess's bright, plush boudoir of act two. This whole theme of social criticism was well conveyed through all area of the production and the language of the 18th century female characters was often quite biting in its crit ic ism of the "modern man ". Overall it was a thoroughly enjoyable performance, which was not only to do with social comment , but was also musically uplifting . Rhlannon Davles

Jeff Green The Playhouse

Comedy Review:

Jeff Green is a funny , funny man. Although the number of people he performs for far exceeds that of a regular stand-up venue, his playful teasing with the aud1ence keeps in the tradition of intimate stand-up clubs. At the beginning of his performance he pulls in the crowd with some big laughs to gain to their trust, then his show becomes a portrayal of life from beginning to end, told by a keen observer. Pulling from a wide range of topics, from getting old, to being young, to grow ing up, to making fun of animals, to se; his routine is all-encompassing, and can pertain to anyone. lt is easy to see that Green is a talented comic because he respects the

Theatre review:

Atom ised

by Don Delillo Picador, £13.99

by Michel Houllebecq Vintage, £ _99 6

For a writer whose major concern has often been to examine the fragile state of post-war America by 'rehumanising' its various national at roe ities and disasters, Delillo's brief and drifting novella seems to be something of a change of emphasis. Whilst Libra dealt speculatively with the 'real' figures involved in the assassination of President Kennedy , and the epic Underworld with a baseball game that symbolised the panic of the Cold War, The Body Artist seems to distort and mystify the human condition rather than clarify it. The eponymous figure is Lauren Hartke , a 'mind and body contortionist' who suddenly finds herself alone in her isolated rented house when her husband, the thrice married and minor film director Rey Rabies, drives back to his former wife 's house and commits suicide . Concerned by a re-occurring noise that seems to come from the walls, she encounters a stranger in one of the bedrooms. ~n the style of Frankenstein's monster, he has apparently learned to mimic the couple by listening to their own everyday conversation. As she attempts to communicate with the 'presence ' , he reflects her own thoughts, past, present , and then future, back onto her. Delillo deliberately creates no sense of absolution in his narrative. As is repeatedly suggested, things do and don 't happen; they are and are not of real relevance . As the characters lose even the necessary distinctiveness to allow them to exist as displaced ghosts, the writing is 'somehow ' (described as "the weakest word in the language'") meant to pass through its reader wit h neither ex planati on nor real clarity. Unforceful but enigmatic , t he descn ptions of events or non-events spill out at random, making any mental grip on proceedings extremely difficult t o est ablish. How ever, t h1s surrea l yet subtle (and short !) volume can st and up t o mult ipl e read ings, and create short bursts of intrigue. Jonathan Rolfe

Atomised is an infuriating novel. For 370 of its 377 it forces upon the reader the dreary, dysfunctional details of the lives of two halfbrothers living in Paris during the second half of the last century . Then suddenly, at the book's conclusion , the narrative takes a turn that completely justifies all that has gone before it. The twist is both surprising and brilliant but does nothing to disguise the fact that this is an incredibly pessimistic piece of work. Essentially, according to Houellebecq , we are all screwed and there is nothing we can do about it. Regardless of your current situation, the nature of humanity dictates a decent into pain, misery and death . There may be brief patches of happiness along the way , but these are nothing compared to the sensat ions of alienation and loneliness that dominate our existence. Don 't even consider attempting Atomised (or Les Particules Elementaries to give i~ its original French title) if you're feeling anything less than ecstatic . Your mood will soon plummet . Houellebecq conveys his message of woe through the lives and experiences of halfbrothers Michel and Bruno . The1r mother and respect ive fathers abandon both to be rai sed by separate sets of grandparents; yet t hey grow up to be very different adults. M1chel becomes a molecular biologist. He spurns human contact, choosing instead an intellectual existance. This is in sharp contrast to Bruno who devotes a vast percentage of his time attempt ing to shag anything with breasts, usually without success. In many respects Atomised IS like a European American Psycho, h1ghly readable but impossible to enjoy. By the end you will be wiser on a range of subJects from genetic r.esearc h to the best French naturist co lonies of t he 1970s. You will also be very unhappy. Jlm Whal/ey

before the Easter break. The play charts a few days In the lives of Austin and Lee, two brothers who are seemingly as dissimilar as Nelson and Waveney . Aust in, the quiet. subdued and educated one of the pair is looking after his mother's house somewhere amongst the crickets and coyotes on the edge of Los Angeles, trying desperately to write a screenplay that will break him into the Hollywood big time. He is initially put out when his vest wearing, beer swilling, redneck brother arrives unannounced, after having spent a lot of time in the desert organising dog fights

Ph/11/p Kopczynskl

and drinking himself into oblivion. As friction rises between the brothers, events take a turn for the worse when Lee begins to move in on Austin's career, lifestyle and potential success. Expect toasters, smashed typewriters, swinging golf clubs, souring egos and occasional bad language. True West is running in the ever-so-cosy Common Room B in Nelson Court and tickets are available on the door only. All proceeds will go to Link Africa, a charity that assists the development of education in Ghana, Uganda and South Africa. The play will begin at 7.30pm and a good evening's entertainment should be had by all Tom Sutton

The Royal Hunt of the Sun Norwich Arts Centre

Theatre review: This production of Peter Shaffer's 1964 play The Royal Hunt Of The Sun was directed by Ned Glasier 1n St Gregory's Arts Centre, a former church in the centre of Norwich; a fitting setting, even if the heating did leave a lot to be desired. The string of strong performances by an ensemble cast transcended any "student " or " amateur" descriptions; afterwards there was completely serious talk by the audience about how a new level for UEA drama has been set. The stars were Andy Davies as 'God-King of the lncas' and Seth Sinclair as ' ~ i zarro , Commander of the Expedition ' but one felt that th is was merely because they were in front of the audi ence more and not because the rest of the cast lacked anything in terms of acting ability . Spec1al mention is also deserved by Joona Junkkari 's booming chaplain, Menna Bevan h1s understudy , the page Liuie Green, the guy with the beard, I could go on ...

Theatre preview·

audience enough to be completely honest about his performance as well as theirs' without ever losing a beat. His rapport with the audience and relaxed manner gives his show a natural flow that is never forced. The advantage of seeing Jeff Green on a large stage as opposed to a small venue is that he knows how to use it. He commits himself entirely to his physicality , whether Green is pretending t o be a young child with poo on the end of a lolli stick, chasing around a pack of screaming children, or an angry swan, bitter with its lifelong commitment to its mate. His humour wouldn 't be described as " physical comedy " because the show could survive without it, yet by using his , body and his face so well he becomes a comic guiding the audience through his observations of life with the naturalness of an exceptional conversationalist. An amazing ability that Green has is keeping his observations innocent. He makes talking about having sex with girl in the wheelbarrow position while her father walks in seem completely casual. Handling all his material with the delicate ease of a child trying to trick a parent into giving away cookies before dinner, Green makes his show funny and accessible for anyone. However to see Jeff Green costs £8 concessions, and that's in Norwich where shows are cheaper than in London , so it's more than a movie and a couple of drinks; but when your eyes begin to water, and your stomach cramps up, and your cheeks begin to hurt because your laughing so hard - you 'll forget that you even paid.

True West Nelson Court CR B March 15 - 17

Book reviews: . Drama Society 's fourth and final production ~;~~;~~;;;;;;;;;;;-~::::;=~::::::::::: 1 ~m~~~·siM~seco~~~e~~ist~ The Body Artist

17 .·

The use of the church was most effective in the scenes where the music and chanting echoed around and through the audience, and when the status of God was questioned. 'God-King of the lncas' raising his arms and commanding from the parapet was awe-inspiring , drawing the audience into the action without the barrage of the senses often necessary in roodern cinema. Playwright Shaffer has a twin brother and the production reinforced the intense relationship between the two brother-like leading actors. Both bastards, they look similar and played off the constantly ant ithetical nature of their roles fantastically . The performance successfully questioned the nature of power, and how it can be wielded over others and oneself. lt was an ambitious production, which deserved the respectable audience turnout it received during its four-night run . Slmon Howarth

Peer Gynt UEA Drama Studio March 21-

Subtitled, 'a dramat ic poem ' , Peer Gynt (c razy t 1t le, crazy play) has been described as one of the most chall eng ing theatre script s ever produced. Even its author, Henrik lbsen later deemed it "wild and formless, written wreckl essly and wi thout regard t o consequenced- as I dare to write only when far away from home'". Although perhaps a litt le ahead of 1t s time 1n 1867, contemporary audiences have found much that appeals in the play. Its aim IS to prove that absolute reason 1s dead though a journey bet ween different layers of reali ty. Desp1 te the rat her heavy soundmg suject mat ter, Peer Gynt has for many years been ack nowedged as pas-

sionat e, witty , trag ic and frequently extremely funny. Thi s Minotaur product ion is eo-directed by Trausti Olafsson (w ho also wrote the stage adaptation) and second year UEA Drama students (who also provi de the set design , lighting, cost umes, m·ake-up and masks). In an attem pt t o master lbsen's complex vis1on they have employed a vast range of styles. Expect to see poetry, dramatic encounter grotesque images, erotic elements, comic charac ers and sce nes and dance. Live music wil l also feature, inc luding new compos1t10ns and arrangements by the performers.

Wednesday, March 14, 2001

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event

Inspected: Interactive

Essential Game 01: Number three in the Resident Evil Series final ly reaches the PC having already been released on the Playstation. lt will not disappoint fans alt hough new players may need more convincing. The plot is predictable but still captures the imagination. it 's set in Racoon City, a metropol is cont ro lled by an evi l firm, the Umbrella Corporation , which nobody dare oppose. After an accident at Umbrella's secret biological weapons laboratory humans and animals have been transformed into mutants and flesh-devouring zombies. You play the character, Ji ll Valentine, who fol lows in the footsteps of Lara Croft as a buxom, athletic supervixen trying to escape a mauling by the resident zombie community as she tries to flee Racoon City. There are two game-playing modes: norm al and 路mercenaries'. The normal version is pretty standard stuff: you have to use lots of cunning as well as brute force to overcome the various cha llenges that lie ahead. Ms Valentine carries a cool box of items including various herbs, which can be picked up along the way and combined to produce health capsu les or new weapons. One frustrating aspect is the novel but challenging method of saving the game - you have to find a printer ribbon and insert it into a typewriter. As I found out to my detriment there are very few typewriters around which means you wi ll have to be a

Incoming Dreamcast:

Playstation:

Starlance; This will be the first proper space

Fear Effect 2 : Retro Helix A prequel to the original, this Resident fvil-esque game builds on its predecessor in virtual ly every way. So it should be good then. Released March 23

combat game on the Dreamcast. However, originality does not necessarily equal quality and, from the previews it looks like Starlancer willl probably the console's last foray into the genre. Released March 23

PCCD:

N64:

Cllve Barker's Undying The horror writer has briefly put down his pen in order to, well , lend his name to this spooky game invlov ing wor lddestroying curses, unimaginable terror and similar nasty goings on. Released March 16

Conker's Bad Fur Day Offensive , brash and crude, Conker 's ... looks set to be the most fun available with a platform game. A bit like Super Mario with toilet gags.

Cut & Blovv Dry

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Resident Evil 3: Nemesis (PCCD) shrewd fighter to win the game. By virtue of this, however the game certai nly has longevity, but requ ires rather a lot of patience. Graphics are edgy at times and lack the sharpness you might expect. The sound is excell ent , how ever, with imaginative sound effects that keep t he ex perience real. Gameplay is reasonably good although the enemies are hardly original and t here are not many different types you keep the interest up. An abundance of blood and gore goes some way to compensate! The mercenaries, short-game mode complements the main game particularly well. You play against the clock to beat numerous beasties and reach the final destination. There is a choice of three cha racters with different weapons and varying levels of health , inc ludi ng the quintessential Russian hard-man , Mikhail, who carries such a big rocket launcher that he looks constipated when walking. Depending on how efficiently you have completed Mercenaries you gain money with which to buy special weapons such as an unlimited magnum to use in the main game. Detractors of the game have noted that it is a reflection in the games giant Eidos' waning share price , although personally I think this claim is slightly unfair. Eidos has not surpassed itself this time but, hey , nobody's perfect . Vlren Vaghela

Essential Web Murder. A very human inst inct, wouldn 't you say? Well , the screwball gang at whowouldyoukill.com certainly think so. So fed up are these people with various television personalities, they have set up a site so that potential killers such as yourself can vote for those at the top of their most wanted list, and even share your murder fantasies with the rest of mank ind. Visitors are invited to narrow down their potential victims by selecting a TV show, and then pinpointing the chief object of their bloodlust . With happy memories of Channel Four from my childhood , I went straight to The Wonder Years to find that everyone 's favourite prepubescent -kidwith-issues, Kevin Arno ld, had been set in the sights of many a potential assassin. In fact, one slightl y bizarro death-wish involved the disembodied adult voice of our little hero having a heart-at tack, causing Kevin (who rea lises that his life is empty without a permeating

Essential Game 02:

The on-line console gaming revolution has been a long time in coming. Over on the PC, playing games across the internet has been possible for years, but unfortunately it involves spending thousands of pounds. After several false dawns ( Chu Chu Rocket's charms faded fast). Sega finally seem to be getting their act together. First came Quake Ill: Arena. an almost perfect conversion of the PC classic and now, at last, we have Phantasy Star Online. And it's really good. The Phantasy Star games have always been pretty great. ever since they originally appeared on the Megadrive. Essentially they were role playing games- choose a team of adventurers, then lead them into freaky worlds, delivering death to all corners with swords, magic and, bizzarely, huge, kick -ass lazers. However, the Megadrive could only handle limited levels of destruction thanks to its chugging processing power: bringing the series to the Dreamcast would require a complete overhau l. Step forward Sonic Team, the makers of Sonic the Hedgehog and NiGHTS, who have taken the the Phantasy Star template and created something special. The central concept remains the same. but everything else has been much im proved and who le new elements added. The most important of these is the online nature of the game. After a simple connection proceedure. the player can form or join a team of up to four characters from anywhere in the world. Sonic Team have basically devised a universal language based on a series of sy mbols that let you converse with garners 1n Japan. France or even, pushing the translation tool to the very limit, America. Whereas previously internet games have encouraged players to rip the crap out

nostalgic atmosphere) to go insane an kill himself. Hmm. Further investigation gleans the less than shock ing information that 13,086 visitors want Daw son Leary dead (this number went up by fifteen in th e ten minutes it t ook me to write t his artic le) and, even more predictably, those turning the tables on Buffy the Vampire Slayer would choose to do so via means of sexual torture. Ahh, it does my heart good to see young people letting off steam. So, remember - next time the urge to kill is becoming all-encompassing, just turn on your trust y PC and take it all out on the celebrity of you r choice. Oh, and if you're looking for any death strategies involving Dale Wint on, just give me a call. I've got a list of ideas longer than a Ru ssian bread queue. http:/ j www .whowouldyouklll.com Ed W/11/amson

Phantasy Star Online ( Dreamcast} of each other, the Phantasy Star experience is all about co-operation. For example, during batt les the more powerful characters might wade in, slaughtering the ev il hords whi le more fragile, magic using sprites cast hang around in the back ground casting healing spells. Other than the violence, it's a 11ery peaceful way to spend an afternoon. Everything about Phantasy Star has been beautifully thought out and presented with some of the best graphics around. Whether I'll fee l the same way when my next phone bill arrives is another matter entirely. Jim Whal/ey

V Essential TV 01:

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You are scum. You are nothing. Attention scum! So begins the barrage of audience hating slogans at the beginning of this off-the-wall comic slice of programming. Unnerved? You will be. Attention Scum is a sketch show without sketches; loosely collected happenings held together by the insane ramblings of a man with a sword. Left-field, weird, and shambolic, the show is the newest incarnation of League Against Tedium, the brainchild of comic/madman; genius, Simon Munnery, who spends the show ranting at his assembled audience from the top of a van in a field. At times he moves into realms of utter nonsense, further bewildering the already freaked out onlookers. The key to the show's success is the selfconfidence that emanates from Munnery: here is a guy who knows how funny he is. This might seem the ultimate in boring, self-indulgent drivel but it's actually rather refreshing. He doesn't try to make the audience laugh in the gritted teeth, tear strained, pre-recorded style of most sit-coms. This is intelligent comedy. However, the BBC's new policy means that the second series of Attention Scum, before its even started, has been axed. And this makes me mad. lt seems that somewhere in recent TV history some suit-wearing lackey, trying to impress and excuse his pathetic existence, decided that I don't deserve to see talent or original humour. He decided that two people sitting down saying intensely stupid things about too much sex or too little of it will always be funny and it's so easy! Just shove a few swear words in and anyone can

do it! Even a girl from Hol/yoaks! What ' s more, it works anywhere- outside, inside a pub or a house or even in a bloody veterinary practice. So I sit and wait for the next series of Black Books, despite its steady deterioration. Cold Feet is successful due to the blend of great scripts and acting. lt aims to be a drama that is funny, not a funny drama. I put my feet up, fall asleep to all this utter niceness until these words flash up on the screen You are scum and strangely, I do believe them . As I'm collapsed into my own catatonic tedium (late Sunday nights are not healthy) Munnery bangs me on the head, punches me in the groin, pokes a sword and a top hat in my face. And thank God for him . Take notice. The previous incarnations of the League Against Tedium used the medium of Radio One and the Perrier Awards where he came runner up to AI Murray, Pub Landlord (who reminded me of kippers, damn good but a pretty limited shelf-life). But, the League is easily the most remarkable of its contemporaries, and the most inspirational - it makes me feel too normal and that I should be a little more difficult to understand. Comprehend? it's like a joy-ride to places only half understood (in ot~er words, you might need to tape it and watclil it again in order to make some sense out of its absurdity): stormy, black, dark. Whi le riding this wave, Munnery often gets very wet, when we just think what the hell? But these moments pass so quickly it just becomes part of this mystical journey into the wonderland that is Tedium. Slmon Howatth

Pioneers: Madonna Esse}ltial Radio: _ _ Radio 1, Monda March 19 8 m The changing face of Madonna is set to change even more, since, at the age of 40-something, and with two kids and a husband in tow. she is still holding on to her position as the undisputed Queen of Pop. In fact, she is the ruler of all things celeb because who else, in the land of stardom, could or would even dare rival her in fitness, pulling powers, bank balance or celebrity phone book? Who else could survive some hideous fashion moments, including conical bras and bushy eyebrows and still be hailed a style queen? Let's face it, Madonna is a phenomenon and Radio One confirms this on Monday in a show aptly called Pioneers. Presented by Steve Lamaq, this promises to 'delve into the magic of Madonna' with comments from the likes of William Orbit , Kelis and Me! B and an exclusive interview with the

lady herself, Mrs Ritchie who is now worth an estimated $650 million. Don't expect too much inside information though from a woman who, despite being in every paper, every day, never allows us to see the real Madonna, out shopping, partying with friends, the kind of fly on the wall stuff that posh spice and eo. lets us in on. We know all about her new husband, the ubiquitous Guy Ritchie and that film that he directed, we know that she's into checked shirts and cowboy hats and is mates with Ali G but what do we know really about M ads herself? Just enough probably, to keep the intrigue that is so central to her appeal alive for ooh at least another 25 years. Roll on the elusive Madonna at 60. Long live the queen. Llz Hutchlnson

Essential Soaps

Corrie fans are in for a treat this week as the long running soap celebrates its 5000th episode with a one hour special. Home-alone Emma gets a shock when she is held prisoner by Linda's deranged brother, Ryan, after she killed his brother in the Betterbuys shooting . But kind doctor Charlie unsurprisingly comes to the rescue and Ryan runs as fast and as far as he can . Four-eyed Deirdre does her love-sick teenager thing again with Dev this week. She seems to think that him complimenting her cooking is the cue for a night of hot, steamy, passion. After trying to kiss him, the greasy shop-owner pushes her away, leaving Deirdre devastated. And life gets worse for the Barlows when Mike Baldwin wins custody of his estranged son Adam, who is also Ken's Grandson. Blimeyl I thought this was

Weatherfield - not Norfolk. Albert Square's custody battle reaches new heights this week when Beppe and Sandra's son, Joe, is left seriously injured after being mown down by a hit and run driver. Elsewhere in the Square, Dot Cotton moves in with admirer, Jim. So be prepared for lots of wrinkly rumpy-pumpy ... lovely. The long-running Jess, Sol and Steve storyline could finally come to an end this week in Hol/yoaks (joy!) when the former prostitute stands up for herself for once and pushes her brother off of the roof of the Loft . But devastated Luke will be the one eking out the sympathy during this week - again -when he finally confronts the lying pair, Mandy and Ben, about their affair behind his back. Katle Hind

Essential TV 02:

As If C4, Wed and Thurs, at Gpm

Channel Four looks set to continue its obsession with "yoof ishoos" in this pioneering series of 18 programmes, poached from the digital E4 channel, about six hormonally led London friends nearing the end of their sixth form careers. Each episode focuses on a different member of the close-knit clique, mainly talking to the camera but playing their individual part in the drama. If you missed last weeks action though, allow me to bring you up to date. In the first instalment we met Jamie, played by (25 year old) Paul Chequer. He is the cheeky chappy with his eyes on Nicki, but she is way out of his league. She prefers older blokes, but was worried about her mate Rob, who was having problems with his father and his girlfriend Sasha, who accused Rob of telling Nicki that she doesn't do â&#x20AC;˘ it". or as Jamie so eloquently refers to it, "no jiggy-jiggy". Got it so far? Yeah , as if! Thursday night saw a shift of perspective to the tattooed, sarcastic and frustrated Sooz, (Emily Corrie) who, wanting to lose her virginity, found herself in a dilemma whilst alone with a naked man for "the purposes of art. " Yeah, as if! As you 've probably spotted, you won 't take too long to catch the drift of the situation, or to tire

of the catchphrase. The loveable chums crash out in each others bedrooms, after spending nights getting themselves on the guest list for top venues such as "The Purple Turtle" and the " Spread-Eagle". whilst the soundtrack pounds with Blur (for the highs and relationship successes) and Robbie Williams (for the breakups and disappointments) . lt runs at a bewildering pace that shouts out, "this is sassy and slick " but is secretly begging "please don't turn over - something else will happen in four seconds time." And in case you miss a vital moment in the plot, the relevant key elements are frequently repeated just in case you miss a vital moment in the plot. You could call this Metrosexuality for your little sist er, though there is a kind of hip "Dawsonesque " innocence to it that makes the tough London background seem a little ridiculous. The camera work is rel iably erratic, presumably conveying the capricious and multi-faceted state of the teenage mind that cannot concentrate on any one subject for more than a few seconds. Think of it as a channel-hopping transition bet ween Neighbours and Hollyoaks. Jonathan Rolfe

Wednesday, M arch 14,. 2001

Your essential guide to what's on in Norwich over the coming fortnight

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Essential Film: Chocolat Campus Film Coyote Ugly

Thursday 15th March , 8 .30 Another girly flick is brought to you courtesy of the union film society in the form of Coyote Ugly. This follows bashful 'Violet ' ah, shrinking violet , very clever, who overcomes her shy· ness by taking a bar job in New York . Talk about throwing yourself in at the deep end, espec ially when the other barmaids are rivalling Cat from EastEnders in eyeliner and cleavage , and, like Cat, these girls actually enjoy the drool of a drunken customer, erm, whilst serving them drinks I mean. The Sixth Day

Friday 16th March, 8.30 Arnold Schwarzenegger returns to his home ground of action movies, playing a helicopter pilot who survives a near fatal crash (of course he did, its Arn ie!) only to discover he has been replaced by a clone . A conspiracy theory is uncovered and , in true Schwarzenegger form , goodness conquers evil. But wh ich Arnie is the bad guy? Great acting in this act ion thri ller.

haunted you since 'A' level English Literature. Here, Shakespeare's classic tragedy is updated to include business corporat ions, corrupt of course, and devious hi tech equipment destined to wreak havoc. This t ime, Hamlet is obsessed with film rather than his mother and his self doubt and indecision derive from this. Not a particularly uplift ing; amusing; relaxing film but innovative and unusual none the less.

City Film

Tuesday 20th March, 8.30 The Hollywood old boys leave their haven of Pina Coladas and fake tan to star in this sci-fi adventure which unites Tommy Lee Jones with the likes of Clint Eastwood and Donald Sutherland . An ageing Russian Satellite is to set to fall somewhere in America, but the antique tec hnology falters NASA ·s plans to divert it, so a group of retired space experts are called in to complete the job. This takes itself a lot less seriously than films such as Armageddon and a tongue in cheek humour ensures entertaining viewing. Meet the Parents

Wednesday 21st March, 8.30 Everyone 's greatest fear is blown up onto the big screen as Ben Sti ller's character prepares to meet the parents. He has got it tough; his prospective father in law is not only Robert Di Niro but is also an ex CIA officer control freak, well, all round freak really. Attempts to get along with ' Dad ' involve a funeral urn , a lie detector and a defective toilet. (Come on toilet humour is essential for this type of film.) These ingredients and the director of Austin Powers shou ld create some comic and cringe worthy moments. Hamlet

Thursday 22nd March , 8 .30 Forget the image of ugly mug of Kenneth Brannagh rant ing and raving in middle century Denmark that has

Not to be confused with the BBC 's documentary about a bunch of losers on a desert island , th is film charts the survival of the sole survivor of a plane crash , who is stranded on an uninhabited island . Excellent acting from Tom " Look at me I can be funny and serious" Hanks. Showing at:

Ster Century UCI Chocolat

The Adventures of Rocky and Bulwlnkle

Always be wary of a film entitled 'the adventures of', especial ly when its adventurers are a flying squ irrel and a talking moose. Showing at:

Ster century UCI Almost Famous

A muso wannabe hits the road with a rock band in search of stardom, instead he experiences life changes which he did not see com ing, like erm pulling a groupie, you know that kind of thing . Fantastic . Showing at:

Space Cowboys

Cast Away

Cinema City Ster Century UCI Billy Elllot

Missing an 'e' off the end is not a typing error. it 's French , ok . See Essential Film. Showing at:

Cinema City-March 16, 17, 19, 27-29 at 20 .00 UCI

Think of a sleepy French town complete with white haired locals, gurning , playing bowls and generally chewing the fat . Now imagine them chewing chocolate and lots of it , as a mysterious stranger, (the Caramel bunny perhaps?) opens a chocolate shop which creates excitement among the 'I only eat cheese ' villagers. Only the crumbliest , flakiest old folk are not amused at the potential threat to their Brie supplies whereas the younger ones could not be more pleased , especially when they discover the aphrodisiac qualit ies of chocolate ... a perfect excuse for cracking on to Irish gypsy Roux, played by Johnny Depp . In one of those 'magic moments' , Vianne, played by Juliette Binoche discovers that the way to Johnny's heart is defin itely through his stomach , and she er, well 'tastes the exotic '. Judi Dench also delivers a great performance in this comic fable, adapted from the best-selling novel by Joanne Harris. Sick inducing however, is not just the amount of chocolate adverts I have referred to (I tried and I failed , sorry! ), but also the moral overtone which runs through the film that intolerance is bad for you . Hello, but if I want to eat four Mars bars, two Cadbury 's Creme Eggs, a Twix and some Rolos while watching a film then I will , ok? So, have a break (but don't have a KitKat, its Nestle remember), and watch this. Eat and be merry. Th e diet starts tomorrow . Llz Hutchlnson

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

An arty tale of mythical China, with martial arts a plenty. This film caused critics to exhaust the words breathtaking and magical, well I've used this phrase at least three times ... Subtitles Showing at:

Ster Century from Marc h 23 UCI Dlglmon: The Movie

Another " evil monster tries to take over the world but is stopped by champion digimon " plot . I fear this exciting yet educational story line has already been covered. How about a digimon love story perhaps, comedy maybe?

Billy bob is still prancing around at the UCI I'm afraid , it 's about time he went and polished his awards instead of hanging around like a bad smel l.

Showing at:

Ster Century

UCI Dungeons and Dragons Born Romantic

This bittersweet comedy follows geeky Fergus who realises he made probably made a mistake jilting Mo (Jane Horrocks) at the alter eight years ago , since he now lives alone, can 't pull and, well , to put it bluntly , is gagging for it. Does she feel the same after all these years? A happy ending? What do you think. Showing at:

UCI But I'm a Cheerleader

In this 'gender bending bonanza', that blonde, popular schoolgirl a la Britney Spears that we all know and loath , is shipped off to a homosexual rehab ilitation centre by her parents who are convinced she is a lesbian. This is possibly the worst move ever made in the history of parenting , especially since Ru Paul who plays Mike ' I'm not gay ' tak es her under his/ her wing . With such an ingenious story line, I'm almost will ing this to be funny. Showing at:

UCI

The game that kicked off the fantasy role-playing phenomenon is taken to a whole new level in this jaw dropping special effects adventure . Showing at:

Ster Century UCI Dude, Where's My Car?

What does mi ne say? Use a mirror, you prick . Showing at: Ster Century UCI Elvls - That's the way lt Is

This is the re-edited version of the 1970s concert film starring lip-curling Elvis. Mono to stereo, 40% unseen footage and four new songs are some of the attractions in this updated classic.

Disney provides us with yet another cartoon classic, which wi ll be held responsible for the demise of the hum· ble domesticated pet . Brooklyn, look what mummy 's got for you ...

The Emperor's New Groove

Emperor Cuzco enlists kind ly peasant Pacha to help him reclaim his throne from evil adv isor Yzm a.

Cinema City-March 18 at 19.30 and March 21 at 14.30

Showing at:

Finding Forrester

Ster Century UC I

Fol lowi ng in the footsteps of Good Will Hunting, this film exposes an unlikely relationship between a basketball playing Bronx kid, Jamal , and an eccentric writer Wi lliam Forrester, who recognis· es and encourages Jamal 's hidden literary talent. Scotsman Sean Cannery is on good form and there is a stunning performance from newcomer Robert Brown .

Enemy at the Gates

Based on a true story and adapted from a best selling novel by historian Anthony Beevor, this film is set during the 180 day siege of Stalingrad , the central character being a Russian sniper who is hunted after killing over 140 German soldiers. Jude Law, Jose ph Fiennes and Bob Hoskins star. Showing at:

Showing at:

Ster Century UCI

Ster Century from March 16 Gladiator

Showing at:

UCI from March 16

opportunity . Showing at:

Erln Brockovlch

Despite playing a harsh independent lawyer who takes on a multinational company in th is film, I'm sure Ju lia Roberts manages to break into that massive, annoying smile at every

Crowe does his swarthy , sexy man thing in this hit, which is re re leased this month. Showing at:

Ster Century from March 23 UCI from March 16

Use our searchable listings database at

=======~--- www.concrete-online.co.uk Wednesday, March 14, 2001

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_event Hannlbal

When Brendan met Trudy

Dr Lector returns in The Silence of the Lambs sequel , tempted by t'he bait of FBI agent Clarice. Hey, this isn't as improbable as you 'd think , I hear cannibalism is on the increase and , well that guy in the strange mask sitting next to you, he isn't harmless, and no that isn't a hot dog you fool.

This comedy, written by Roddy Doyle, follows Dublin teacher Brendan who, just like that maths teacher with bad breath we all loved at school, is a smelly bore whose sole pleasure in life is singing in the church choir. Cue blonde, bold and beautiful Trudy who turns his dull life into something all together more exciting. lt is hailed as a loopy love story, which roughly translates to 'this is very unlikely, aged teachers, so please don't sexually harass the ypung female staff'.

Showing at:

Ster Century UCI

Showing at:

UCI from March 9

State and Main

A band of thesps arrive in an unexpecting American town, make outrageous demands and have illicit affairs with the local inbreds. A light comedy which stars Alec Baldwin and Sarah Jessica Parker.

You can count on me

Showing at:

Cinema City- March 9 at 20.45, 10-12 at 17.45, 13-15 at 20.15 and 15 at 14.30

Who would have thought that a line from an S Club classic could be used in a film title, which also contains an S Club amount of cheese. A witty observation of a brother and sister, who, you've got it, don't get on very well. Showing at:

UCI from March 23

The Gift Starring Cate Blanchet, this psychological thriller follows a hard up widow who gives psychic readings to the local community. When a girl goes missing, the police call upon her powers but her visions cause her to worry that she may be the next victim. A chilling horror with a whodunit story line.

Clubs Wednesdays

Showing at: Superfty: March 14/21

Ster Century UCI

The Legend of Bagger Vance A film about golf and no Adam Sandler in sight? Bagger Vance, what kind of a name is that? Ranulph Junuh, who's he? Do they want to make any money? Can I think of any other questions to ask? Shall I stop now? Showing at:

UCI

The Watcher Good old Keanu Reeves is not so good this time as he plays the villain in this cat and mouse tale. Apparently, this could be one of the 'tightest thrillers of the year' and by that I'm assuming they are not referring to Kea~u·s bottom. Showing at:

Ster Century UCI from March 16

The Low Down This British film is from the director of Radiohead's video Just and follows a group of twenty something's living in London, one of whom realises its time to grow up. Starring Aiden Gillen from Queer as Folk.

Mojo's Strut your funky stuff to a mixture of R n B and Hiphop. Keep your elbows in though, unless you want a headbut from an angry local. £3 Rockln' Sheep: March 14/21

Ikon Follow the crowd and dance like a farm animal to commercial pop, oh, and don't forget to incorpo. rate some animal noises in your routine- its always a good pulling technique. £2 before 11 DJ Jam: March 14/21 Hys it's glass, it's the dance floor and its crying out to be trampled on and besides, DJ Jam would love you to dance you know- it makes him feel that he has achieved in life. £1 Reverb: March 14/21

Showing at:

Po Na Na Don't get too comfy in your haven of cushionsit's a nightclub god dammit , not a living room . Shake your booty to some classy funk and soul. Free

Cinema City-March 16, 17 and 19 at 17.45, 2022 at 20.15 and 20 at 14.30

WeRK: March 14/21

Thirteen Days

Another film with the minutae of history subject, 1 this is about a Cuban missile crisis in 1962. JF K is informed that the Soviets have installed nuclear missiles on the island of Cuba and Kevin Costner joins the race against time to avert a fullscale nuclear war. Thirteen , Isn't that unlucky? Oh, I get it now. Showing at:

UCI from March 16

Manhattans Bo yaka shah. DJ Shaun Johnson gives out the vibes just for you - yes you.

Thursdays Spank: March 15/22

Time Stick one of those spank postcards to someone's arse and voila, al l night entertainment. Oh yeah, Judge Jules & Alex Daniels are there on the 15th. £1 before 11 (NUS)

Traffic

Michael Douglas plays a top judge who is enlisted to help the President 's fight against drugs, little realising that his own daughter is an addict . Meanwhile, Catherine Zeta Jones is blissfully unaware that she is married to a drugs baron (no, not Michael Douglas, her character's husband . Duh).

Gasworkz: March 15/22

Showing at:

Hys Missed the last Retro? Get a fix with DJ Rob Mac . £2 (NUS)

Ster Century UCI

Kafe Da Free shot of vodka between 8 and 9. Free, yes free. Freeeeeeeee. Free 70s Night: March 15/22

What Women Want

After a freak accident involving a hairdryer, leg wax and a bath, cocky executive Nick Marshal! gains the ability to read women's minds. This is a talent that should be programmed into every man's DNA, because then we would never need to explain that a two fingered salute actually means "Go take a shower you smelly piece of shit " not "Yes, you may pinch my arse you grea hunk of a beast you.·

Showing at:

Ster Century UCI

Value for Money: March 15/22

Liquid This is a phrase I use to justify an expensive night out . Remind yourself of it every time you go to the bar, it really works ... well, until you next check your bank balance that is. £2 before 11 The LCR Disco: March 15/22

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LCR The scourge of Friday morning lectures. A sticky carpet awaits your backside, just stay clear of

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Eventhorizon: Clubs/Gigs

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t he pi les of mashed carrots and Karmathere ' s some cr isps at the bar if you're t hat hungry . £3 Charty Handbaggy: March 15/ 22 The Loft Ooh. is tl1at a gun in you r handbag or are you just pl eased t o see me? Dance along to pop at Norw ic h' s most popular gay night. Lets Get Saucy: March 15/ 22 The Bank Yes. lets . Free

Fridays Absolution/ Wrath meets Rawkus: March 16th Waterfront Obvio usly not at t he same t ime because th at would j ust be silly. Go undergroun d wi t h the Goth s and rockers of Norwic h between 12am 'ti l 2am or be up Iifted by fu nky hardhouse and t rance from 10pm 't il 4 am. £ 3/ £ 4 adv . Miss Moneypenny's: March 16th UEA If you get sick of that M iss Moneypenny w oman, t here are Garage Freaks in the Hi ve. £9 ! £7

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£ 2 before 11 Hot: M arch 16/ 23 Ikon M ake sure you t ak e your ID ·cos the bounce rs- t hey aint ·avin none of 1t . £4 before 11 Hytlmes: March 16/ 23 Hys DJ Rob M ack j ust can 't keep aw ay. Th is t ime he's spinning some c lub anthems for our listening pleasure . £3 Parkside: March 16/ 23 Po Na Na's All the hom ies are gett ing jiggy with 11ouse and garage. Respect. £ 3 Elegance: March 16/ 23 Mojo's Mojo's elegant ? I may cont ac t th e trade descri pt ions people. The R n B t racks, however, call fo r a bit of sexy danc ing amongst the rowdy locals. Smoot h. Marvel: March 16/ 23 The Loft Funky j azz. hiphop, sou l and all for three qu id. Generous or wh at . £ 3 before 11

Garage Nation: March 23rd Wat erfro nt A nation of garage lovers unite to discuss colour , electric doors, double or single , how many bikes they can fit in etc. £ 11/ 12

Absolution: March 16th Waterfront An 'Att it ude free night with no prejudice' upst airs, hardhouse and tranc e downstairs. No prej udice my arse, it sounds like segregation to me. I say mi x them all together , it could make for an interest ing night. £5/ £4

lt's t he business: M arch 16/ 23 Liquid it ce rt ainly is, but beware of the hot, upright con ical shapes lurki ng in the corners- I' m referring t o the lav a lamps.

Kitchen: Friday M arch 30 The Wat erfront 10 .00pm - 6.00am In the main room (deep funk y hard house): Paul Davis (Fabric ,

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Circulation) : An a-log ue (Absol ution ); Res1dents - DJ Vodka , Or Tonic. CJ. In the Stud io (Drum and Ba ss): Mov1 ng Fusion ( Ram Records) : Wax mag ic : Dimension: B-R one. Res1dents: Shere Khan, Louis . Cafe Bar (Chil led grooves): Stuart: Sc ratch; S1 st ermat1c; Luke. PLUS Freestylers and 1n yer face danc ers. tarot readmg, UV bo dy art , b1g v1deo screens and stu ff. Advanc e £9su/ £ 11

Saturdays

Meltdown: March 17/ 24 Waterfront lndie and pop each week, General Zod pays a vis it on the 17t h and the n pure as sou l is on th e 24 t h. £3 ( NUS) Saturday Rewind: March 17/ 24 Mojo 's When the crowd say Bo.

Sundays Sunday Service: March 18/ 25 Manhattans If you want a real Sunday service, wat ch songs of praise at 6 30, more hy mns at half t he price, and all from the comfort of your own living room . £2.50

Mondays

BRING THIS ADVERT WITH

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Funky Jam Carwash: March 19/ 26 Liquid Th 1s does not involve washing cars with jam I'm afraid , fun though th at sounds. Don't worry, pranc ing around to 70s mu s1c is quite ent ert aining, you shou ld try it. £2 Underground Bands: March 1 9/ 26 Mojo 's Th ese bands are underground ac t uall y. Dead and bu ried years ago.

ft 616831 3 White Lion Street (30 seconds from Virgin Megastore or 2 minutes from the market) " Ot k r not a\ atlahk in conju ndin n '' ith <t ny other nft cr Offer lHl l)' 'a lid " 1th th t\ \ I HH.: hcr Olfa C\ptrl..''> on \-\;n 2.

Flockin' sheep: March 19/ 26 Ik on Thi s has been postponed due to foot and mouth .. .unless yo u get di si nfec t ed before you go inoh, I forgot , that aft ershave is disinfectant. £ 2

BONUS PRINT ~001

L------------~----- - --- ----~ Wednesday, March 14, 2001

Essential Gig:

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The D1v ine Comedy often live up to the1 r name in t heir songs . They're full of ironic ob serv ati ons but in a bit of a jolly way and tota lly of their own variety. Li sten ca refu lly t o the lyrics next time you're at a party and Generation Sex IS bl asting from the speakers and you 'll see exactl y the tw isted nat ure of thei r sense of humour . You'll never have t o go on a Nat ional Express coac h to know exac tly what t hat part1 cular experience is like after hearing t he DC ' s tak e on t he subjec t. The1r latest material promises a new direction. however. with the band's sound losi ng some of its extravagance . as t he band grow up and get used to li fe with a bi g leag ue reco rd com pany. You' ll have to go along to see wh et her the wry comic edge remains. or if marr iage has blu nt ed front man Ne11 Hannon ·s w it . Katherine Everitt

Retro: March 17th UEA Using his best fa irgroun d ride vo ice, the DJ wan t s us to get re ady riders for three decade s of fu nky c hoons. Scream if you wanna go faster. £3. 50

WE CUT THE PRICE YOU CUT OUT TH VOUCHER

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Satisfaction: March 17/ 24 Hys I can't get no ... we ll not at Hy ' s an yway. unless I' m t ot al ly Inebri at ed. £4 before 11

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Play: March 1 9 / 26 Po Na Na' s Two for One coc ktal l offer and free entry; t hey mu st lil1e us or someth ing. Free

Tuesdays Student Night : March 20/ 27 Liqui d

Elsewh ere, th e locals are exercisi ng thei r Tu esday night inbreed ing programm e, which is w hy we stud ent s are sect ioned off fo r t he night. Thi s is a prec autionary measure as stud ent/ local breeding co uld ca use cat ast ro phi c results, such as, li ke, the loss of th at beautiful Norfolk accent that we al l love dearly. £1 before 11 Slinky: March 20/ 27 Hy 's You may be falling down the stairs like a slinky after a night at Hys, either through alcohol or after a push by the snarl ing bouncers. Whichever , it 'd be fu n to watc h. Free ( NUS) Salsa: March 20/ 27 Po Na Na's Learn how to dance Latino style and get laughed at by all and sundry. Humi liation- it's a c haracter bu ildi ng thing . £ 3 (NUS) Life: M arch 20/ 27 Time Contemplate life wh ilst wa it ing several hours t o be served at t he bar. £1 ( NUS) Funk Friction: March 20/ 27 Ow en·s Cafe Bar Free

Gigs ~

Complete Stone Roses Wednesday March 14 The waterfront Stone Roses tr ibute band in t he charming ware house-lik e atmosphere of th e Waterfro nt. Gra b a beer and a few mates and t ake a trip down mem ory lane when yo ur musi c sense didn 't know any better. £7 / £ 6 Keno Kings Wednesday March 1 4 Boswells More live mus1c from t he venue right in the heart of Tombl and. Ugly Duckling and Tomorrows People Wednesday March 14 Fat Pau lys Sounds like a right mix. £6 Other Sounds and the Sonic Arts Wednesday March 14 Norwi c h Arts Cent re El ec tron1 ca and electroacoustic mixing and sound diffusion by London DJ 's

Tom Wall ace and Clive Graham. Something differe nt for your Wednesday night? £3 NU S Band Night Th ursday March 15 The Ferryboat Thi s littl e known pl ace holds a wic ked band night every Thursd ay. perform ing everything from indy to hard roc k , speci alising in anything th at is basicall y less mainstream. A cool hangout t o be sure. £3.50 Empower Friday March 16 Fat Paulys Featuring Sanctum and Torna K. in the flesh. £4 Un-Covered Saturday March 17 Boswell s Naked performers? Surely not. Shincter and Zhivago Saturday March 17 Fat Pau lys Forget yo ur lectures an d spend the night living it large to l1ve music at thi s popular ve nue in town. Acoustic Showcase Saturday March 17 Norwi ch Art s Centre Homemade music from people who want t o show you what they've been beavering away on . There 's blues, soloist s and more and what's even bet ter is entry is free. Arc Monday March 19 Boswell s Liv e mu sic t o swi g your beer to . Michelle Shocked Tuesday March 20 The Wat erfront Obv iously a night of watch mg a w oman w1 t h a permanently surprised look on her face. Oh, wel l if there's beer , who cares?

£11 Harpin On Tuesday M arc h 20 Boswells And on , and on, and on. Hugh Cornwell and Sum yunguise Tuesd;ly March 20 Norwich Arts Centre The former Stranglers frontman returns with songs from his solo albums, St rang lers and a few class ic s. £8 NU S

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Emma Hall Band Wednesday March 21

event

Boswells Even more live music, they definitely like it here.

Eventhorizon: Gigs/Theatre/Mise

going on this Thursday . However if you like the Goth scene then there 's only one place you'll want to be going tonight. Just Blues Friday March 23

Stiff uttle Angers Wednesday March 21

The Waterfront Ooh the bands are getting a bit bigger at the Waterfront. This one will have a bit of a following so make sure you get your tickets quick.

£11

Boswells I wonder what kind of music they play at thi ~ night? Sounds like it could be really fast and upbeat . Empower Friday March 23

Fat Pauly's Block rockin' beats.

Jazz, Funk and Blues Jam Wednesday March 21

£4

Norwich Arts Centre Tonight this is THE place for Norwich's jam scene. £1 NUS The Divine Comedy Thursday March 22

The Waterfront Definitely one of the biggest bands to hit Norwich in a while. A great chance to join the throng of people singing National Express under the merry influence of a few Fosters.

£11 Band Night Thursday March 22

The Ferryboat Alternate weeks of music from Wombat Wombat and Wild Man at the chilled out pub down by the riverside . £3.50 The Roosters Thursday March 22

Boswells Music from men who like chickens, and making a lot of noise in the mornings. Chains on Velvet Thursday March 22

Fat Pauly's There's too much choice for what's

Bert Jansch Friday March 23

Norwich Arts Centre The gruff voiced, quick fingered folk legend is back. His album can claim contriputions from Johnny Marr and Bernard Butler. £6 NUS

Theatre Beau Brummel Wednesday March 14 - Saturday March 17

Theatre Royal The story of Beau Brummel is of a 'wit and dandy', an Englishman whose talents and genius lie in his dress. Set in a madhouse in Calais, this story is well acted by Peter Bowles. £3.50-£15 Back With You Saturday March 17

Norwich Playhouse A one night only show starring Dillie Keane. A night of songs and acting from someone who has been described as having 'sass, kick and cosy warmt~.'

£10 NUS The Hobblt Monday March 19 - Saturday March 2

Theatre Royal Join Gandalf the Sorcerer as he leads Bilbo Baggins and his dwarf companions on a frightening but magical journey - a journey from which they might never return! We get to travel with them through misty mountains, murky woods, wind , hail rain and thunderstorms. Guaranteed to be a greatnight. £3 .50-£13.50

Mise lan Currle Wednesday March 14 - Sunday March

18 The King of Hearts Art exhibition of small landscapes in oil. Not landscapes covered in oil, but oil paintings of landscapes. I don 't know if the landscapes themselves are small or just the pictures, you'll have to go there to find out. Beyond Breaking Glass Thursday March 15

Norwich Arts Centre - 8pm Music and storytelling from Hazel O'Connor, a performer at the Edinburgh Festival in 2000. £7 NUS Lunchtime Piano Recital Thursday March 15

The King of Hearts - 1pm Pieces from Haydn, Schumann and Chopin. £1.50 Tommy Smith Group Friday March 16

Norwich Arts Centre - 8pm Modern jazz played with the saxophone and piano. Tunes include In A

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ABC Taxis All Star Taxis Beeline Taxis Five Star Taxis Loyal Taxis Cinema City Fat Pauly's Liquid Maddermarket Theatre Mojo's Norwich Arts Centre Norwich Playhouse Po Na Na's Ster Century Theatre Royal The Loft The Waterfront Time UCI Sentimental Mood and The Lady is a Tramp. £8 NUS Storytelling - 'Becoming VIrgin' Saturday March 17

The King of Hearts - 8pm Tales from the Convent. Remember to leave your childish senses of humour at the door. £5 NUS Celtic a Saturday March 17

Norwich Arts Centre- 8 .30pm Highly danceable cosmic folk rock for St Patrick's Day. £6 advance

Ballet Central Wednesday March 21

Norwich Playhouse- 7.30pm Showcase of young talent, spot the stars of the future. There's a t hrilling programme with a wide range of dance styles to suit all tastes. £7 NUS Ave Take Photos Sunday April 22 to Monday May 1

Norwich Arts Centre Third year students from UEA's Photographic and Visual Studies degree course are staging an exhibition consisting of digitally manipulated photographs by five students in the Arts Centre.

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