The Event - Issue 132 - 28 November 2001

the Wednesday, November 28, 2001

'Ti s :the season to be jolly

Fa la la la la

Picture: Jason M ewes and Kev 1n Sm1th m Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back , reviewed on page 14

Yes. everyone's favourite secularised religious festival is now upon us. filling us with joy as we marvel at the rows of glowing, plastic Santas that hang above St Stephens Street, or stare at the fibre-optic snowmen in the window display of the

·de: 03 Bits and Pieces Round up: Why ITV1 is watched by dead people Competit ions: Bluetones tickets; 100 Reasons paraphenalia; 18-30 holidays

04 Stocking Fi l le r s The Event takes a look at a selection of books ideal for t he uninspired Christmas shopper.

Christmas Warehouse.

To make sure those squeals of delight don't wane before Christmas actually arrives, we have several festive features to keep you in the mood and to help you along with any Christmas shopping di 1emmas you might be

11 Scratch Perverts 12 Winter TV Preview

The DJ s chat about new members and old alliances

Reveali ng all t he things you wanted to know about the new series of your favourit e programmes.

Know l edge 13 I nquisitor

06 Soundsplash The Event reviews the Contemporary Music Society gig

07 He's Behind You! Taki ng a look at the history behind that most embarrassi ng of entertainments: the pantomime

08 Dread zone The dub group talk about their new album and why they are all about t he music .

09 "The Horror!"

The Event tal ks to Apocalypse Now ed it or, Waiter Murch, about heart attacks, Dolby sound and the restored version of Francis Ford Coppola's war epic .

Cin efil e 10 Vil lains on TV The Misfits

The Event's guide to the current crop of nasties invading our screens.

Listin s : 22 Listings The best guide to what 's happening in Norwich

AI Green

Kid Galahad

05 Xmas Films A guide to classic , post Xmas dinner, festive film fayre.

encountering.

On a slightly less festive note, we preview the winter season on TV, review the recent CMS gig, and ta 1 k to Apocalypse Now editor, Walter Murch, about the imminent release of the reworked version. Happy Christmas!

Re

•

e s:

14 Film Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back; Storytelling; London Film Festival

Editor-In-Chief · Adam Chapman • Editor • Markland Starkle • Arts Editor - Charlotte Ronalds • Aim Editor - Merek Cooper • Assistant Aim Editor - Phll Colvln • Music Editor • Anthony Lovell • Assistant Music Editor - Kleren McSweeney • TV/ Radlo Editor- Llz Hutchlnson • Assistant TV/Radlo EditorGemma O' Donnell Picture Editor · Ed Webb-lngall Contributors • Matthew Beavan • Amy Bennett · Will Benthall · Sarah Edwardes · Charlotte Gane - Kate Herrrlngton - Emlly Knee · Serena Murray - Tessa North - Mlscha Pearlman - Kleran Pearson - Katherlne Potts · Owen Roberts - Bethany ScottBoatfleld · Zack Walsh • Mark Wheeler · Luke Wrlght

16 Albums Smashing Pum pkins; Robbie Williams; Creed; Five

17 Singles Belle and Sebastian; Cypress Hill; Ox ide and Neutrino; Wyc lef Jean; Nitin Sawhney

18 Video Rabid; Tomb Raider

19 TV/Radi o Top of the Pops; Saturday Show; Soaps; Meet the DJ

20 Arts The Homecoming; Grease; Christmas Carol; Havoc; Herbert Spliffington All Stars; Best of the Rest

The Event is published fortnightly by Concrete: Post: PO Box 410. Norwi eh. NR4 7TB Tel: 01603 250558 Fax: 01603 506822 E-mai l : su .concre t e@uea.ac.uk Pr i nted by : Ea s ter n Co un ti es Newspape rs , St Andrew's Bus iness Park, Norwi ch

- - - - - -·- ---------

--~ ----- - -

------------------ --------

--------- -

Bits and Pieces 03

Round

~p:

An irreverent look at the events of the past fortnight

Competitions •• Bluetones; 100 Reasons; 101 Reykjavik

Revenge. That's what he wants, tucking revenge. He's just gone through the worst experience of his sad life and now he wants us to suffer too. Yes, that's right, Michael Barrymore is coming back to our TV screens in the New Year. ITV1 are experiencing low ratings and hope that 'old favourites,' such as Barrymore, Des O'Connor and Cilia Black, will be their saving grace. Perhaps they should start making watchable programmes instead. Let's have a quick look at the listings for tonight (Friday evening): Emmerdale, Coronation Street, The Bill and a programme pointing out a sad reality involving Chris Tarrant (think about it.) Going out's the new staying in? I'd rather get three shades of shit kicked out of me in a kebab shop. Who the fuck watches ITV1 anyway? Dead people, people past their sell-by dates, people whose lives are so dull that The Bill offers them their daily dose of escapism. And the sad thing is that ITV1 prides itself on the things that are most wrong. To me, Coronation Street being Britain's longest running soap means that it should have been axed years ago. ITV1 don't simply appeal to the lowest common denominator like other television channels, they appeal to the lowest common denominator about thirty years after it's died. The cursed third channel is just another embodiment of all that is wrong with this country; like The Sun it regurgitates mindless tripe for and about mindless tripe eating idiots who play bingo and think 8 rollicking night constitutes lager, curry and spot of karaoke down the local.

Crap ratings simply mean the viewers are bored, so why give a group of broadcasting dinosaurs more spotlight. And don't give me that 'oh, but everyone loves Cilia' line. No they don't. She's like an ancient, vile, scouse robot who's only programmed to say about three things, most of them involving the word 'pet ' or 'love.' But then again, she's still better than Michael Barrymore and I couldn't give a flying tuck what drugs he takes. Good on him, I know I would. I simply don't like him because he's a shiny, slimy, fat, pink creep with the sense of humour equalled only by the great Paul Daniels. He doesn't belong on prime TV, he belongs on the end of Great Yarmouth pier with Joe Pasquale and The Chuckle .Brothers.

Luke Wrlght

Holiday Competition: Ster Century Cinemas have teamed up with club 18-30 to offer 1 lucky Event reader a holiday for two for one week in May1June 2002 to the destination of their choice. Choose from either Ibiza, Lloret de Mar, Corfu, Kos and Zantel The winner will also win two tickets to see Jay and Silent Bob (reviewed on page 14) in Ster Century Cinema at Castle Mall AND we'll give you 4 pairs of tickets to see the film for the runners up. To win this fantastic prize, just answer the following question: Q. What Is the name of the first Kevln Smtnh film to feature Jay and Silent Bob?

TERMS AND CONDITIONS

* All * All

holidays must be booked by TBC holidays must be booked from the Club 18-30 summer 2002 brochures * All holidays must be booked by phoning our promotional hotline number 0870 15 18230. * Holiday prize is non transferable and cannot be redeemed for cash. * Holiday prize does not apply to Flight supplements, under occupancy and insurance. * All passengers must be 18 and over and under 35 on or before their departure date.

All holidays offered are subject to availability.

WHAT'S INCLUDED

* Return flight from Gatwick * lnflight meals * Resort transfer * Services of your Clubrep * SC/BB accommodation subject to availabili· ty WHAT'S NOT INCLUDED

* Holiday insurance * Under occupancy supplements * Any applicable flight supplements * Spending money * Excursions

STER CE

C

I

E

T

RV A S

• To celebrate the forthcoming release EP 3 (coming out on December 3), Surrey-based rockers Hundred Reasons are giving away 5 funky t-shirts to Event readers. To try and win one just answer the following question: Q. What Is the main track from the new EP called?

• it 's the end of term and loan cheques are running dangerously low. Isn't it lucky that those lovely Ents people have given us 10 pairs of Bluetones tickets to give away? The gig is at the LCR on December 3 and winners will be emailed with .plenty of notice. Answer the question below to be in with a chance ..

Q. Name the Bluetones' break-through hit.

• Running short on Christmas present ideas? The Event has 101 Reykjavik videos and DVDs to solve all your present-buying problems - and for no money at all!

Q. Which country has ReykJavik as Its capital?

Answers for all competitions (including the Ster Century/Club 18-30 holiday competition) should be handed in to the Concrete office (located upstairs in Union House, next to Room 1.33) or emailed to us at su.concrete@uea.ac.uk with your name, phone number or email address and favourite colour.

04

Stocking up for Christmas •• With Christmas less than a month away, and everyone in essay hell . The Event offer s the definitive guide to the best book buys aro und.

Text: Charlotte Ronalds , Em i ly Knee and Sar ah Edwardes Little Green Man Simon Like the soap star who feels obliged to venture into a career in music, it seems almost inevitable that the successful poet should eventually decide to wnte a novel. Simon Armitage is one sue h poet. but fortunately the change of direction is no bad th1ng. Author of the Millenn1um poem Killing Time. Arm1tage's background g1ves h1s debut novel a lyncal resonance which is notably absent from the work of many of his peers. His book depicts a group of fnends who initiate a game of truth or dare to decide who wins the title's priceless little green man.

Arm1tage taps into the intensity of childhood competitiveness. and transposes it into an adult context - with adult consequences. His oblique. often brutal approach to the arguably over-exposed subject of male insecurity makes Armitage's novel a favourable alternative, and a Chnstmas stock ing must-have for anyone who has a passing acquai ntance with h1s poetry.

The Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating and Sex J.Piven, D. Borgenict and J. Worick £9.99 This little black book about dating and sex is the latest instalment in the highly popular Worst Case Scenario series.

Cons1st1ng of step-by-step mstruct1ons and handy diagrams, previous editions have advised on How to Escape from Quicksand, Wrestle an Alligator and Surv1ve a Volcamc Eruption. And now salvation is at hand for the most clueless of Romeos. Steenng well clear of the 'Position of the Month' variety . this manual IS an exhaust ive guide to the most basic of date traumas from How to Survive if You Wake Up Next to Someone Whose Name You Don't Rem ember and How to Remove Diffi cult Clothing. In the best tongue-m-cheek tradition. th1s book will not only proVIde a good seasoning of festive mirth but also offer valid guidance at a time of Christmas parties. random sprigs of mistletoe and too much Christmas Spirit... ~ '(:

n

,-}" (}I).

Mr Benn's Little Book of Life Tess Read (with the original David McKee illustrations) £5.99 For those of you who have ex hausted the Bagpuss; Clangers; Rainbow range of beany toys, purses and. er. backpacks - here IS another excuse t o rev1ve the ghosts of ou r childhood past.

W1thm th1s cute. pocket-sized book we are transported back mto the weird and wonderful world of Mr Benn "as if by mag1c ..... Although this time round the w1se accompanies the whimsical and profound thoughts such as " Freedom is life's greatest luxury" are used to illustrate Mr Benn·s colourful and more than slightly surreal advent ures. These little epithets are perhaps a little token. jumping on the Little Book of Calm bandwagon but . nevertheless. thiS IS the perfect present with wh1ch to sit by a roaring fire and Indulge in all things nostalgic.

Boyfriend Training

Kit Tanya

Sassoon, £5.99 Now getting th1s for someone else could actually lead to a nasty row about the whether the boyfnend m question is a loser or not. But if it is a universal fact that he 1s, then th1s little k1t should be perfect. Designed to 1mprove the behaviour of your man. you can record his improprieties on a special report card.

You ca n also refer to the Relationship Maintenance Book to help you decide whether he's the one of you. Just don't tak e 1t too seriously. we don't want any tears this Chnstmas.

Politically Correct Bedtime S tor i e s J a me s F·1 n n Ga r ne r Although this book has been around for a wh 1l e now. 1t ·s sold over a million copies. meanmg that it should be good. And it 1s.

Fourteen well-known fairy tales are given a politically correct tw1st. mcluding L1ttle Red Riding Hood. Goldllocks and the Three eo-dependent Goats Gruff. W1th lmes like. "This goat was less chronologically accomplished of t he sibl ings and t11us had ac hi eved t11e least superiority in size". the book makes for an amusmg , l1ght-hearted read. perfect for Chnstmas. The story of Rumpelst1ltskin 1s espec1ally clever w1th 1t's play on how to turn straw 1nto gold. The book's content is not intended to be taken

event ~·Jed11esda_y,

Novernt1et' 28, 2001

too seriously, but aims to show the absurdity of how society has become with its supposed non-offensive discourse. Also. the stories are only about four pages long each. making it perfect for anyone.

Top stocking non -fiction fillers: •How to Build a Time Machine by Paul Davles, £9.99.

Well it's something to be getting on with in the holidays. isn't it? After all , everyone needs a hobby.

•The Blue Planet, £19.99.

Following the success of the series, let the adventure continue. The book takes you on a coastal tour of the world, stopping to observe a few puffins and gannets along the way.

•Bad Blood by lorna Sage, £6.99.

Read former UEA lecturer Lorna Sage's account of growing up in a less than nuclear family. Superbly written, capturing the time with true emotion.

•Walking with Beasts by Tim Hanes, £14.99.

So far the series is proving to be a hit, including it 's spin-off on its making. If that's not enough, surely this mammoth hardback book is.

Top stocking fiction fillers: • The Red Dog by Louis de Bernieres, £10.

This is a children's book. containing an illustrated collection of true stories based on a dog who belongs to everyone and is owned by no one . Finally. A dog that really is for Christmas.

•Dead Famous by Ben Elton, £16.99.

Although this has received mixed reviews from the critics. anyone who watched Big Brother should love it. Written in true El ton style, it's a humorous satire .

•Lord of the Rings by J R R Tolkien, £20.

Now really, it is too bad if people see the film and not read the books. And who hasn't had a good bash at them , anyway? A good present that will keep someone amused for hours. Weeks .

Years, even.

• The Snowman by Raymond Brlggs.

Some may mock. but 1t just has to be. And less people actually have the book than you'd think.

Best of the Rest: The Private Eye Annual 2001., £8.99 The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood , £7.99 Super-Cannes by J G Ballard, £6.99 Snake Oil by John Diamond, £7.99 Rover Saves Christmas by Roddy Doyle, £9.99 How to be Good by Nick Hornby, £13.99 When We Were Orphans by Kazuo lshlguor, £6.99 The Amber Spyglass by Philip Pullman, £6.99 The Universe In a Nutshell by Stephen Hawking, £20 Dustbin Baby by Jacquellne Wllson, £8.99 Atonement by lan McEwan, £13.99

Christmas Crackers: Just in case money is a bit tight this year, Waterstones are domg a three for two offer on paperbacks of the year. They are also doing a three for two offer on cllildren's books. WH Smitl1 IS doing two paperbacks on selected ranges for £10, and two books for £20 on their s11ghtly bulkier selection. And remember: 1f all else fails. there's always the gift voucher option.

Festive Films What do you do after Christmas pudding on watching undemanding, gu·a t ~st of

• •

stuffing yourself stupid with turkey and the big day? Veg out in front of the TV heart-warming movies of course! Here's a the bunch.

During the day, Cafe style dining serving anything from cheese on toast to pot roasted knuckle of lamb

Text: Phil Col vi n pretty good start if you want to feel Christmassy.

Since redemption has always been a familiar theme at Christmas, now seems appropriate to carry on the trend with Dickens' classic A Christmas Carol. A favourite with cinema ever since films have been made, there are at least half a dozen different remakes of the story, ranging from the 1951 classic starring Alistair Sim to the not quite so classic Scrooged starring Bill Murray. However, in my opinion, the telling which best encapsulates the warmth and humour of a good Christmas flick is The Muppet Christmas Carol. This is perfect material for the Muppets, always at their best when telling nice stories, especially with the able assistance of Michael Caine as Scrooge. Not in the least bit sickly, it has the type of humour which will even raise a chuckle from those who claim they're too mature to laugh at a Christmas film. lt also answered a question which troubled me for much of my youth: exactly what would the children of Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy look like? ot surprisingly, perhaps, a great number of ChriStmas movies focus on that most legendary of round beardy men: Santa Claus. The most famous is Miracle on 34th Street, in which a department store Santa Claus sets about proving t o the world he's the genuine article and not an impostor. Again, this is a story which has gone through a couple of remakes in its time. These days most of us are familiar with the more recent version starring Richard Attenborough (the second most legendary round beardy man.)

Sentiment abounds, obviously, but the material has held up well over the years and every remake is watchable. lt is, however, still worth keeping an eye out for the superior 1947 version starring Edmund Gwenn, whose performance is so charming he's quite possibly influenced every portrayal of the character ever since.

There are, however, a couple of Santa appearances in the cinema which exceed 34th Street for basic Christmas cheer. One is The Christmas Story, a 1983 comedy in which a nine year old narrates the story of his life during one holiday season in the 40s. This is a stunningly funny film which, although a classic in the States, is relativity unknown on this side of the Atlantic apart from the rare occasions when it creeps onto television. And that's a shame, because it's a real gem of a nostalgia film in the same vein as that old series The Wonder Years. The highlight is undoubtedly the most memorable visit to a Santa's Grotto ever filmed. Santa here is an overworked grouch, processing kids relentlessly before hurling them down a chute to their parents below. And if they don't want to go, they get a boot in the face. Trust me, it's a Yuletide movie which is not only spirited but actually very good, and is perfect Christmas Morning viewing.

The other Santa movie I must mention is, in my not-so humble opin-

N

"That's the thing about Christmas movies, they only come once a year.

So even the most cynical can surely put aside their grumbling for a few weeks, nestle in front of the television and revel in a bit of harmless nostalgia and sentimental good humour." feel it's time for me to reveal my dark secret... I love Christmas movies. Okay, so it's not that dark, rather than just a tad disturbing. Except, I know that I'm not in a minority. Sure, you may be too adult to admit it, but we both know that come the holidays, you'll be turning away from the cinematic behemoths of Hf!rry Potter and The Lord of the Rings for something made at least 30 years earlier with questionable acting talent and laughable budgets on display. But why is that? And why is it that films which, at any other time of the year, would seem like sentimental twaddle suddenly click together into something endearing come December?

The key to a good Christmas movie is that it's one which appeals to all those feelings of expectation and excitement which take over the world for a few short weeks each year (or the memories of them, for you jaded old Scrooge-types out there). A good Christmas movie doesn't have to move you, or even be particularly good, but it should leave you with that warm fuzzy feeling Inside and a nice memory which will last until you see it on television again next year. So, with that in mind, I rummaged the archives for the films which best embody the true spirit of the Christmas movie.

Nowhere is more fitting a first stop than the film which has seemingly been around as long as Christmas itself, Frank Capra's 1946 feel-good fantasy, it's a Wonderful Life. Truly the definition of a classic, you'll probably recognise the plot even if you've never seen the film since it's been tributed everywhere from bad sit-coms to The Simpsons. James Stewart, contemplating suicide, is visited by his guardian angel and shown what a dismal life his family would have had if he hadn't been born. After realising his mistake, and begging to be reborn, Stew art rejoins his family for one of the most famous scenes of gushing sentimentality ever filmed. It'll warm the coldest heart, and it still brings a tear to my eye. But in these cynical days, whilst some of us clutch hankies I can imagine others will be reaching straight for the sick bucket. To be fair, it does indeed lay the sentiment on thicker than the artificial snow, but at the very least it'll make you glad you're alive. And, let's face it, that's a

I

ion, the quintessential Christmas film: Santa Claus: The Movie. it's the story of the man himself, from humble origins to his transform& tion into the superhero of Christmas Eve (well, it was made by the producers of Superman ... ). He, along with Dudley Moore and some cute kids, saves the holiday season from the evil John Lithgow. lt may not be Citizen Kane, but Santa Claus defines exactly what can makes a good Christmas film. Shown on Christmas Eve afternoon throughout the 80s, the elaborate Santa's workshop sets and special effects got millions of children excited about the night ahead.

To many it became as synonymous with Christmas as the Queen's Speech. However, panned every year by Barry Norman, the film lost its key slot some years ago to truly horrible films like Super Mario Brothers. Frankly, that was a crime against good taste, the spirit of Christmas and Dudley Moore. Thankfully it still survives somewhere in the schedules most years and is, needless to say, essential viewing for those who want to relive a little piece of their childhood.

Unfortunately, though, not every Christmas film manages to get filled with the holiday spirit. And those that don't are about as heart-warming as finding a lump of coal in your stocking. Take, for example, Arnold Schwarzenegger's latest misguided stagger into comedy, Jingle All the Way. With its over-riding message that Christmas is about getting the toy you want, it actually succeeds in making Christmas Eve shopping look akin to hell on Earth. (Which, obviously, it is. But good Christmas movies never tell you that.)

And then there are the movies which try to imitate the greats of the past but fail miserably. Christmas movies need sentiment, but never work if they're too deep. Of course, even some of the clangers have their warm moments. Just by being released in those few weeks, Christmas movies can manage to soak up enough of the seasonal cheer to overlook their flaws. That's the thing about Christmas movies, they only come once a year. So even the most cynical can surely put aside their grumbling for a few weeks, nestle in front of the television and revel in a bit of harmless nostalgia and sentimental good humour. And if you can't? Bah, humbug to you.

MONDAY NIGHTS

70s pre-wash with free entry and no queuing to Car Wash party at Uquld nightclub

4 Bottles 4 a fiver Choose from a selection of oleopops and beers

TUESDAY NIGHTS

Student night Old skool dance with old skool prices All pints and baffles only 11.50

Treble vodka and Red Bull only £3.99 ESDAY

Shaken not Stirred the best In soul and funk + two alco shakes 4 the price of one

Having a party?

Hire the beach bar for free

NIG

Cheese 'n' Choons With free entry and no queuing to the Ministry of Cheese at lofttUIW night club. Free shooter with every cocktail Enjoy a baffle of wine together with nachos and dips for only a fiver everyday 4-7pm

No. 1 Farmers Avenue, Norwich Tel. 01603 765512

06

Live Review: Soundsplash Tex t: Anthony Lovell ood old Contemporary Music Society . One of the most intrig uing nights of t he yea r is always t he first showcase of the best talent that they can provide. it's not the first time I've been to this event, and I've witnessed a wide spectrum of ability over the years, ranging from original and stirring to hopelessly hackneyed and arrogantly overconfident. How would the balance fa ir on this ra iny Sunday night?

First to wield their 路axes are Leaf. A four piece. they are very much a band of two halves. A surprising blend of classic rock and Britpop, the rock is from the drummer and the lead guitarist (with some serious soloing), and the pop from the voca list and bassist, who produce some nice harmonies. For the most part it wo rk s, and the two styles, which could have sat somew hat uneasi ly together, actually comp liment each other . So long as they can reign in slightly the over-enthusiastic talent of the guitarist, they will continue to progress.

Luma Lane are an intriguing prospect . Taking to the stage with no drummer and a girl on vocals, for one dreadfu l moment I mistake them for Bis. Fort unat ely, there is no candy-pop on displ ay here. Taking Mogwai-esque light and shade (mostly light) dynamics, and adding an Arab Strap je ne sais quoi, they actually sound pretty good, bearing in mind that this is the first time that they have performed t ogether . What would help their music is a visual element , although that is possibly asking a bit too much t oo soon. Watch thi s space.

All I want to do is rock! This is certainly t he case with V 4 Vendetta's frontman. Without doubt the most charismatic performer on display tonight, his animation increases in direct proportion to the volume of the music. He's got a decent enough voice, and lyri cal ly the songs are strong . Despite a wobbl y start, t he band grows in confi dence, but it's obvious t hat there are still some musical nuts to be tightened. Upbeat indie-rock has been done before, but there is certainly room for characters- it's a question of whether the rest of the band can match their frontman.

Wou ld you believe that Stable Will have got a bloody ce llo!? The last band I saw with a cello onstage (that wasn't an orc hest ra) was Therapy?. A five piece, they have a strong-voiced frontwoman, although unfortunately a poor sound mix dogs the band .

This is only really noticeable because it didn't seem to affect

G

"This was probably the strongest night university based mus1c I have witnessed" the other bands. This is a shame, as only on one song ( int roduced as "sounding a bit like Pavement ") does t he ban d real ly take off, and t he end of the set comes just as they seem to be really getting into top gear. They're far from bad, it's just that their sound is possibly too complex. Not their night, I 'm afraid. lt says a lot for Mogwai that they seem to be influencing a vast nu mber of bands. Add headliners Sennen t o that list. Throw ing a load of Sonic Youth and Godspeed You Bl ack Emperor stylings into their sound, their largely instrumental set is like a much harsher version of Luma Lane's. Thei r three guitars could have produced a tremendous din, although the band does impress

of

w ith thei r restraint. What they must add, though, is some variety, w ith some unnecessary repet it iveness al lowing me to spot a bloke in the audience doi ng inter pretative dance. Perhaps t he band with most potent ial on the bill, which is the main obstacle t hey face. Only they can overcome it - their destiny is in their ow n hands. This was probabl y t he strongest night of uni ve rsity based music I have witnessed. Despite no on e realfy shi ning, t here are no fai lures, and at the very least , all t he bands have serious potential. it' s very much a c ase of work in progress- I would be intrigued to see in a few months how they have all developed . Keep pl ayi ng.

BUSINESS MANAGEMENT IN SALES AND MARKETING Are you a competitive and highly self motivated team player, looking to progress as quickly as your talents and personality will let you?

If you answered Yes to this question, then a graduate career with Enterprise Rent-A-Car could be just what you are looking for. We are looking to recruit highly energetic, sales orientated individuals who are willing to work hard, and have the same commitment to customer service that Enterprise has established over the years. We are looking for the Managers of our future . We offer a fast track into Management working for a privately held, multi-billion pound corporation; our need is to find individuals capable of continuing our phenomenal growth in the UK, repeating the success stories of North America and Canada. Your job will be to learn all aspects of our business from the ground floor up, dealing with all functions of running your own small business in the decentralised structure we operate. One of the great things about Enterprise is that its up to you how quickly you get to the top.

If you are a graduate, who thinks they can make the most of these opportunities, please send your CV with a covering letter to: Miss ]ass Rutherford, Enterprise Rent-A-Car, HR Dept U71 , Beechwood House, Depot Road, Newmarket, Suffolk, CB8 OAL. Email jruthelford@erac. com

Recruiting fo r locations across the East England area. www. erac. eo m.

We are an equal opportunity employer.

------------------~----------------- ---~--- -

- --

- ---- --

07

The Good the Bad and '• the Ugly • With Christmas less than a month away. the world of pantomimes is soon to be i nflicting itself on the nation. The Event discovers if they are actua l ly an exceptionally clever form of social statement. or just a bad night out.

Text: Charlotte Ronalds

bout 12 years ago, my Grandma took my sister and me to see an amateur production of Mother Goose. lt lasted over three hours and saw one of the cast, who was in a wheelchair, fall off the dangerously small stage into the audience. lt also saw Mother Goose, who had instructed us all to shout "Hello Mother Goose" whenever he came on stage, yell at the audience to shut up and stop distracting him from his business. Scarred by this horrific event, I've never been to a pantomime since.

But perhaps such a response was too harsh . Professional pantos break box office records every year and boast a whole menagerie of performers. They are also rumoured to have helped the liberation of women, with the female traditionally playing the male lead. Yet the talent nowadays primarily consists of Austral ian soap stars and ageing celebrity-wannabes. Indeed Harold and Madge's sexed up performance caused quite a stir back in the late 80s. And then there is the infamous Christopher Biggins, Britain 's longest-standing panto Queen.

Possibly the less said about him, the better. So, what really is the truth behind the panto phenomenon and its place in soc iety.

Is it more a case of "oh yes it is" or just a bit too much "oh not it's not"?

When travelling across Europe to Britain , the intrepid Italians realised they didn't speak English. Hence the over-emphasised, elaborately-mimed, all -singing, all-danc ing pantomime was born, which saw the Italians ditch their Commedia del 'arte in favour of the more commercially appreciated Italian Night Scenes.

Unfortunately, along with it was the creation of slapstick , something that has tragically remained to this day, with the cast insisting the drummer kindly 'point out' the so-called comic genius.

In the early 18th century , the first use of the word 'pantomime' emerged. By 1773, the Theatre Royal in Drury Lane presented the first actual pantomime story, with good destroying evil· literally - in Jack the Giant Killer. Soon to follow was Aladdin and his Wonderful Lamp, Babes in the Wood and finally, in 1804, Cinderel/a, which was created on stage.

One of the most famous pantomime clowns, Grimaldi , pioneered the next important phase in the ever-evolving panto performance: the art of cross-dressing. The dame proved to be especially popular in the Victorian era, with the costumes being used to parody the upper classes and their fashion tastes. The ugly sisters also emerged from this period, first seen being played by women in Rossini's opera, La Cenerentola. But it was

A

"The female 'principle boy· was introduced in 1815 at Covent Garden. originally intended to bring a more pornographic feel to the performances." later decided that men were uglier and should thus fill the role.

The female 'principle boy· was introduced in 1815 at Covent Garden, originally intended to bring a more pornographic feel to the performances. The men behind the pantos were so sexually frustrated in a society where even the legs of a piano were hidden for modesty's sake, they decided to legitimately have women parading in tights and skimpy little shorts, covering it up (or rather letting it out) under the pretence of art . Yet in the 1950s, men decided that they wanted to play men, so Cliff Richard and Norman Wisdom were enlisted as the somewhat less-than-masculine choices to put the p-factor back into panto.

an intrinsic jewel in the British crown , but rather a thorn in its side.

But then panto has been on the way out since 1846, when one critic declared: "Pantomime is no longer what it used to be, they have had their day." What would he have made of it all today, with Christopher Biggins' costume being annually redesigned by an avid Blue Peter fan? Somehow I doubt he'd have changed his mind.

Purel y Pan t o: The

B

ut do pantomimes actually have some hidden agenda, cleverly embedded in their not-so-clever script? Based predominantly on fairy-tales, they all contain the inevitably moral value of good triumphing over evil. They also seem to be obsessed with material wealth, with their lives only being really enjoyable when they are in possession of money. In relation to society, emphasis is placed on consumer goods, but to actually endorse it through pantomime surely leads to disaster.

According to Pantomime Expert, Lesley Cookman , pantos · are frequently the first live theatre seen by small children, who retain a nostalgic affection for it and, in their turn, bring their offspring many years later. " Yet with the emergence of 'adult pantos' , it remains dubious if the magical innocence of the 50s can still be encapsulated today. Yet for Norwich's Theatre Royal, having annoying little children whooping "it's behind you " for a month is clearly something they are all for, agreeing to house Desmond Barrit 's Mother Goose. lt is interesting, though, that Barrit is actually a member of the RSC and has been touring the country with his portrayal of Falstaff.

Perhaps the real appeal of panto, then , is that it is overtly lacking in any real theatrical flair, coming as a nice break for seri· ous thespians. and leaving the audience secure in the knowledge that they could write something better. But is this really enough? The fact that panto has just about flopped in every other country - aside from Zimbabwe, who recently performed a very impressive Babes in the Wood - suggest that it is no longer

Event

gives its Top Five

5. Peter Pan - whilst purists argue that this is not strictly a panto, the eternally youthful children are becoming a popular craze, popping up In productions across the nation.

4. Jack and the Genet ically Modified Beans - lt appears that Jack is actually suffering from a hyper-sensitivity to work, and is merely intelligence-challenged when it comes to selling cows. Or that's what experts would have us believe, anyway.

3. Aladdln - Actually the panto version of this, involving WishyWashy, no one has ever really understood. But it was one of the best Disney productions in recent times. Maybe If Robin Williams did panto things would be different...

2. Clnderella - Now just who is Buttons? This is perhaps the most realistic panto as Buttons is rejected by Cinders who is selfishly working her way up the social ladder. And as for the ugly sisters, well, good on them. After all, not everyone looks like Kate Moss.

1. Mother Goose - Possibly having the most ridiculous plot ever, this performance shows that the dame is not always nice and can even turn evil in her thirst for capitalism. A lesson to all: avoid geese who keep gold making equipment in their intestines.

Wed nesday . November 28. 2001

event

08

Having just completed live slots for both Jools Holland and the Wornad Festival in support of their accla i me d new alb um .

Sound . Wes t London seminal dub /d an ce act Dreadzone look set to make a fierce return with their UK tour. Th e Event speaks to Greg Dread to find out more.

Text: Ki eren Me Sweeney

'' L

ast night, we did a really good show in Cambridge."

Enthuses Dreadzone mainman. Greg . "We hadn't played together for a while.

We hadn't rehearsed or spent long over the sound check but by the end of the night t he who le place was rocking . We played a few old favourites and eight or nine songs from Sound. it's a good test of the material that we can

pl ay nearly the whole album and everybody likes it."

Rocking the crowd has always been an important part of Dreadzone as Greg explains, "Most modern dance music is made, not by DJs, but by people on their computers. We've always made sure that we tra nslate our music into a live experience. it's somet hing we've been doing for years so it 's an important part of Dreadzone. This summer, we've been doing the

Sunday 4th November - Top Tribute Bands

e

steps Beyond & Pure Britney 3.30pm • W e dnesday 7th November - 7 .30pm

The Spectacular Rockin' On Heaven's Door M usic from Elvis Presley, Roy Orbison, Buddy Holly and Eddie Cochran

Wednesday 14th November - 7 .30pm "Find a Star" 2001 Grand Fnal - Karaoke Competition 10 Finalists and Guest Singers plus T.V.'s Popstars ' lan Harvey' Thursday 6th D e cember - 7 .30pm Rock Explosion!

Queen and Bowie Tribute

Featuring Queen B and Jean Genie

•

Sunday 9th December - 6 .00pm S Club Heaven with Kylie Ukely

•

Monday 17th December - 5 .00pm The Magic Toy Box Xmas Show

•

Theatre Box Office Open Daity 2pm to Spm

BOOK NOW TO AVOID DISAPPOINTMENT

0

HOLLYWOOD CIN EMA The City's Best Value Cinema

Only £2.99 for Students! ~

See local listings for full programme

CALL CINEMA/BOX OFFICE: 01603 621903 CINEMA 24HR LINE: 01603 767737

event Wedn esday ,

November 28, 200 1

aro un d and s ave out I was wrong.··

from politic s . I us ed join hand s . pas s a sp lif f world but soon fou nd

festivals to promote Sound. We did the Essential festival , the Gu ilford festival, went around Europe and ended up at Womad in Grand Canaria in front of 12,000 people. We were received really well. it 's held once a year and people go there to appreciate different music from all over the world."

Dreadzone's UK tour received an unexpected boost when they were approached to fill in for Later with Jools Holland.

"We were meant go on tour last Tuesday but we were asked to do Jools Holland." Greg explains. "lt was Dreadzone 's first live BBC appearance in four years and a great way to kick off the tour. We only did two numbers but it was just what we needed . We have a limited budget to promote Sound so anything helps. I think we're still billed as Bjork so hopefully more people will tune in and see us."

Dreadzone's new album, Sound, is an impressive progression from 1997's Biological Radio, achieving a more roots, contemporary sound by incorporating elements of hip hop, drum and bass, and dub. " I like to think we·ve got a West London heritage. Leo and I were in a band during the 80s ca ll ed Big Audio Dynamite. lt was a combination of hip hop beats, dub/ reggae bass, punk guitar and mad film dialogue with some vocals on top . When mak ing Sound it felt like we were taking the best parts of 360 degrees. Second Light, and Big Audio Dynamite. lt was quite a unique sound." he last ten years have been a learning curve for Dreadzone with the band being dropped by Virgin shortly after the commercial failure of Biological Radio . .. A lot of really good bands were dropped at about the same t ime. lt does put you back a bit but you persevere, regroup, think of where you 're going and look fo r the inspiration . That's why we do Dubweiser and have set up a new studio in west London. We're influenced by the tunes we play and the result of that is Sound."

"The first album could have made a bigger impact tf Virgin got behind us." Greg muses. " but they only wanted to get another album out of us and we complied by putting more radio friendly aspects onto it. lt didn 't really work out. We were trying to follow Second Light with something quite similar instead of taking our time and moving onto different ground, whi ch ts what we've done since."

Sound could mark the return of the Dread with

T

the cu rrent single Believing In it capturing the attention of house dance legend Seb Fontaine.

"We did a mix of Believing In it by the Pneumatic Twins and it's going to be on a few compilations. it's nice to be able to get out and do a lot of stuff at a club level. Dream Within a Dream, taken from Biological Radio, featured on the soundtrack for The Saint which also helped to get our music out to a new audtence. People would hear the song and want to check us out. " Although Dreadzone has always been Greg·s priority, he is also involved in a number of side projects that help to fund and support the band's live show _ "We set up a club night three years ago in London called Dubweiser, basically to showcase the kind of music we liked. lt stems from the DJ aspect of Dreadzone. As residents we got Danny from Renegade Soundwave and ourselves, Dreadzone . playing the kind of records we liked and the music we were into at that moment, which is reggae but in a contemporary framework, whether it's UK garage, hip hop or drum and bass. it's a very eclect ic night. lt has Jamaican influences runn ing through so it 's a party night as well-we like to rock the crowd. We've had good guests there .

Alex Patterson from the Orb, Matt Black from Coldcut playing a predominantly roots set, and more cutting-edge people like Matt Cantor from the Freestyle rs and Barry Ashworth from the Dub Pistols."

Like reggae , Dub is often associated with politics and freedom of speech. is this as much an issue for Dreadzone now as it was when they first started?

"We've stepped back from it . I used to think we cou ld join hands, pass a spliff around and save the world but soon found out I was wrong.

There 's a line on Believing In lt that says, 'Dancing everything else is bull shit. · and that's how we feel. There were people turning up at the last show who attached an antiwar banner t o the stage and that's fine. The thing about Dreadzone is freedom of speech. One thing that did make me sick was th e vehement anti-American ism that came out in this country. The new album is about life. There 's a song on Sound called Mean Old World and it's about how the world is a hostile place and there's nothing you can do to change that fact."

• Dreadzone are playing the Waterfront on November 28.

09

Cinefile:

• Cut The Final •

--------------------------------------------00. 10

The Misfits

A Rec~piert of three Oscars. renowned for ~is filM ed;tirg, ard overall f1lm sound innovator. Walter Murch talks to The Event talks to f re-issued and re-~cn;kered Apocalypse Now Redux. o e Text : Merek Cooper Let me guess ••• High school comedy?

Hardly. We're talking a 1961 Western parable; notable for featuring the final performances of screen legends Cl ark Gable and Marilyn Monroe.

So not a laugh a minute?

Not really, unless you consider a group of aged cowboys concocting a scheme to round up wild horses to be butchered for dog food a piece of comedy. Gable is one of the 'misfits' of the film's title, who gradually begins a love affair with divorcee and outcast Monroe. This was symbolic, and ever so slightly pretentious writing of the highest order by playwright (and Marilyn Monroe's lover) Arthur M iller.

Why haven't I ever heard of lt?

Unfortunately, like a modern Hollywood blockbuster, it was a victim of its own hype and publicity. Miller believed wholeheartedly he had written one of the greatest screenplays in the history of cinema, and the all star cast joined the project seemingly unable to believe they were creating anything other than an epic. Far too sombre and melodramatic for American audience tastes, the film sunk at the box office and would have been completely forgotten if it were not for the stories which emerged surrounding its turbulent production and, of course, both Gable and Monroe's untimely deaths soon afterwards.

Turbulent production?

Monroe was plagued by both personal problems and the drug habit which was to destroy her. With a doctor on set every moment of the day she struggled through fi lming to. ironically, produce probably the greatest performance of her career. Gable, meanwhile, desperate to prove his prowess despite nearing 60 elected to perform all his own stunts including breaking in a horse and being dragged behind a truck. After completing the arduous shoot, an exhausted Gable accused Monroe of nearly giving him a heart attack ... a day before suffering the major heart attack which resulted in his death.

But Is 1t actually any good?

Short answer: a definite yes. Watching The Misfits 40 years on is one of those rare occasions when you genuinely feel you are witnessing the end of an era. Both Gable and Monroe's performances as characters reaching the sunset of their lives are exceptionally poignant for the simple reason that neither of them is necessarily acting. And although Miller's script is still as turgid as it ever was: the sheer presence of these two truly great but visibly declining actors, coupled with some stunning photography, means The Misfits deserves to be regarded as so much more than the footnote in film history which it has become.

Last words?

Monroe and Gable, from the film's final scene.

"How do you find your way back in the dark?" ·Just follow that big star straight on. The highway's under it. It'll take us right home ... " Phi/ Colvln

t 58-years-old, Waiter Murch must surely have one of the most impressive CV's in film today. As Editor and Sound Designer, he has worked on such classics movies as A Touch of Evil, The Godfather Trilogy, The Conversation, Ghost and American Graffiti. He won two Oscars for his work on The English Patient and was at least partly responsible for the developement of Dolby Surround Sound_ The highlight of his illustrious career however, must be his groundbreaking work that he did on Apocalypse Now, for which he also won an Academy Award.

Now almost 20 years on, he has returned to the editing room to reconstruct Francis Ford Coppola's classic tale of madness and war.

A

Why was the original version of Apocalypse Now so brutally edited?

Well, Franc is had tens of millions of dollars of his own money invested in the film. So there was an understanding then that we should do everything we could to have the film come in at less than two and a half hours. Because the inexorable mathematics of the number of hours in a day says that if a film is over two and a half hours long you can only get two showings of the film in the evening. If it's less than two and a half hours you can get three. So your chances of making a certain amount of money back almost doubles. So in order to get the film into that box certain bones had to be broken in the structure of the film in order for that to happen.

continued to shoot as much as they could with stand-ins and extra footage. Luckily Martin was able to not only recover but recover to the extent that I, as an editor, can't tell which side of the fence the footage is on- whether it's pre or post heart attack.

Apocalypse Now revolutionised film sound. Perhaps, you can tell us about the role you played In this?

Well, Francis had heard a synthesised, quadraphonic recording of Hoist's The Planets, which lit a fire in him. He wanted to be able to surround the audience with the sounds of the film. He wanted the explosions to be able to be felt by the whole body rather than just heard with the ears. So he turned to me and said ·Make this happen somehow". The result wound up to be what we now call Dolby Surround Sound. We developed it along with Dolby from 1977 until the film came out in '79 and over the intervening 20 years it's now become the de facto standard for the various release formats of film sound.

When did you become aware you were Involved In the making of a very Important, modern classic of cinema?

Well, after the end production on The Godfather 11, Francis had said, "I'm tired of making the kind of film that requires me to reach down in to my guts and pull them out and chop away at them in full public view. Just for once I'd like to make a normal film with bankable stars and lots of action."

A week later he decided to make Apocalypse Now. So, strange

"Francis Ford Coppola's original intention was to make normal a film with bankable stars and lots of action."

And now, primarily because of video releasing, which didn't exist at all in 1979, there is a whole other market for films in which the length of the film is not quite the issue that it was.

And as it turned out this version is much more like the original screenplay, in terms of the sequence of events. You now see the reasons behind certain things that in the previous version were simply opaque. You just had to accept them at face value.

For example, if you look at the old version, you see Lance putting on make-up, well now you see where that make-up comes from. it's just far more co-ordinated and linear. That's not to criticise the previous version, it's just two different approaches to the same material.

Famously you nearly lost your leading actor, Martin Sheen to a heart attack- At what point In the process did that happen?

I flew from London to Manila in March of 1977 and Martin had just had the heart attack a week or so before. So things were very uncertain and no one was sure that he would be able to come back at all. But we were still having meetings about postproduction at the time. So there was this strange juxtaposition of us meeting to confidently talk <l_bout the finishing of the film and yet Martin, the main star, had just a heart attack. He certainly hadn't finished his footage by any means: There was, I think, three more months of filming yet to be done. But they

as it may seem, his first intention was to make an ordinary big budget action film. Of course, once he got into it, being the fi lm maker that he is, he realised that the subject matter required much more. This was the first time that a high profile American director had decided to tackle the subject of the Vietnam War and without the co-operation of the US army. In fact they tried to stop the making of the film.

So, certainly, during the production of the film we definitely had the feeling that there was a powerful obligation on us to do our very best work just because of the importance of the subject matter.

Is there any more extra footage left?

Yes, there are some bits and pieces that were not included in the finished version. There is more material with Brando.

Whether this will be included in the DVD I don't know. Brando and Franc is had discussions at the time of shooting in which Brando was very anxious that we not show too much of him. So the amount of screen time that this character has is a delicate balance between too much and not enough, and we felt that the one scene that we added of him reading from elements from Time magazine was enough, particularly because it showed him in the daylight and in full figure. But, to show more would be to start to tip the balance too much.

Wednesday, Novemeber 28, 2001

event

-

~--

--

-

-- ------- -- - - - --- - - - --- - --- ------- -----,

10

Do you flinch when Trevor decides to iron Little Mo's clothes-while she is wearing them.Or watch 1n horror as ale blue eyes Darcy continues to ruin ca ,oak J Or Kennedy's good name? The f:'u"", t l into Soap-ville.

Text:Bethany Sco t t- Boatfield & Katherine Potts ~.,

Y

ou don't have to look very far in your average soap to find a psychotic bastard, a simpering troublemaker or a two-faced bitch. When these characters !:Ome onto the screen, you may feel like throw ing your TV set out the window . but your eyes are drawn to them like Norfolk folk to a country fair. Hey , even Sesame Street has a villain - you know Oscar, who lives in the bin? (does anyone else have a phobia of dustbins?) To be honest Albert Square would be a bit boring if Dot Cotton and Jim 's raunchy romance was as good as it gets. Think about it ; the Queen Vie would go bankrupt if the punters actually drank their drinks instead of throwing them over people. But then again, they 're not living on student loans so they can afford to throw their drinks away, except for Trevor who lost his job for throwing one over Kat. Trevor, Albert Square's resident psycho, is scarier than getting pissed at the LCR and waking up next to an unknown body the next morning. With his eerily blue eyes that never blink, he seems to take way too much pleasure in the Slater family's secret. Freud would have had a lot to say about that. Maybe he fanc ied Kat and wanted to rape her himself? Or maybe Harry? Ewww! I don't think Trevor understands the concept of ironing - or maybe he just thinks Little Mo's getting a bit wrinkly . Hello? Oil of Olay? But seriously , Trevor and Little Mo's relationship is not to be laughed at. Why the hell does she stay with him? How could she love a man who degrades her and blames her for everything

"The Queen Vie would go ba nk rupt i f t he punters ac t ual ly drank the ir dri nks inst ea d of throwing th em over people" spawn of Satan? She's very cute now, but will Mark want her and will Lisa cope once she goes mto the head-spinning and projectile-vomiting stage? I think they'll keep the 'Phil's the real father' story line under wraps for a while. That ex plosion is worth W<;titing for . lt w ill be handbags at dawn in the launderette between Pauline and Peggy and fi sticuffs in the Vie between Mark and Phil. But not all Eastenders villains are losers. Janine is definitely a winner. With her, Eastenders introduced the biggest bitch since Lassie . Talk ing of dogs, even Terence the pooch has better roots than Janine. Even worse, has anyone been able to listen to that Nelly Furtado song wi t hout w inc ing since Janine's vom it -induc ing "Turn out the lights, Tel" in an attempt to seduce Terry? Janine even stooped to shagging Billy but at least she dumped him when he ran out of money .

Respect! However much you love to hate Janine, don 't you j ust wish the manipulative cow wou ld leave the lovable, vulnerable Peggy alone? Poor old girl has been through enough without Janine kicking her while she's down.

"Darcy do es n't seem to un de rstand the true spirit of Ramsey St reet - that 'e ve rybody nee ds good neighbou rs ' , that goes wrong in his life? Never fear , Trevor wi ll get his comeuppance - just wait for the Christmas episode! Have you noticed the stereotyping Eastenders has fallen into, the psycho being Scottish . Maybe one of the writers has seen Trainspotting one too many times. Begbie and Trevor in a fight? I'd bet on Begbie anyday. Lisa's also looking a bit harassed lately ; it 's not surprising seeing as she finally managed to get rid of one bald , round , pink -faced, overgrown baby only to get lumbered with another one. We can only dread what the latest addition to the Mitc hell fam ily w il l turn out like .

Who reckons that little baby Louise will turn out to be the

event Wednesday, 4 4

''

..

Chester has a similar problem. Hollyoaks' new bitch on the block, Laura, has not unleashed her full potential yet . That girl is evil, trying to oust Mandy under a ve11 of kindness. But , let's face it , if you knew Mandy , with only two ex press ions - pouty and shouty - you know you would n' t have bothered returning the car keys for her driving t est after having hidden them in the bin.

What is that girl up to? But the question is, is Laura evil enough to fill the villainous void left by Lew1s? Okay, we know that Lewis's dad beat up his mum and raped Mandy, as she can 't resist telling us at every opportunity, "Oh, I brok e a nail, it 's all my dad 's fault because he sexually abused me!" Yet neither

November 28, 2001

Mandy nor her mum are alcohol ics, gamblers or women-beaters.

They exhausted every possible story line with that boy. Thank God they put him out of his misery before they decided that the reason he beat up women was because he secretly wanted to be one. Talk about Hollyoaks getting their money's worth before booting him out. Villainous behaviour and the hot Australian sunshine just don't seem to mix , like students and washing up.

Darcy is a pretty weak villain . As the newcomer he doesn't seem to understand the true spirit of Ramsey Street where "everybody needs good neighbours ... (Come on, you know the song!) ... that's when good neighbours become good friends."

Yeah , so he broke two women 's hearts and is trying to con his aunt and uncle. Ooohl We ' re really scared! What, no murder?

No wife-beating? No rape? Give me Steve Owen any day!

Grrrr. You can just imagine Darcy in two weeks time sitting in Lou's pub crying into a pint, repenting his sins. I'd be surprised if all is not forgiven , especially as we shall be hearing the pitter patter of little Darcy feet - the nastiest a Neighbour 's villain gets is try ing to marry one woman wh ile another is pregnant.

The most satisfying th ing about the Darcy saga is that Susan, the all-knowing headmistress, got it wrong for once. Ha! Australians always think they are so tough and macho but Neighbours are too scared to get their teeth into a real villain, the escaped convict who killed Woody is a bit of a phantom .

Come on Neighbours, show us the killer, or are you all wusses?

We can t ake it , after all , the 'Who shot Phil?' storyline was pretty damn scary. Well, as scary as little fluffy bunny rabbits, anyway. Phil must have had the worst 'I've just been shot ' face I 've ever seen. lt looked more like 'I've had too much to drink and I need t o puke'.

For all their tantrum s and back-biting , we love a good villain.

Life wouldn 't be the same without them. Imagine if all soaps went soft and Emmerdale really took over as best soap? Or Brookside? Or Crossroads? Help, I'm scaring myself. Happily ever after in Albert Square? Somehow I don 't think so.

11

Professional Perverts ••

The Sc rat ch Pervert s recently pl ayed t he LCR as par t of t he Ski l l tour. The Event caug ht up wi th them to ask what t hey I

J!

lt c ~ 't)

<D

~

"'

A

"'

Q.

~

~,

(i'

"'!!t

Text: Owen Roberts

.... ::r

"'

've never been here before. I've really enjoyed it," says Primecuts as the masses of equipment from the 'Skill' night are cleared up around him. The crowd are still making their way out even though the Scratch Perverts' set has now been finished for over 20 minutes. They were pleased with the reception they received in the LCR. which was probably split 50/50 between students and townies. Obviously used to the attention, they were not surprised when people got on stage after the show, eager to shake hands and speak to them.

Primecuts and Tony Vegas have been massively successful as DJs, winning six world titles between them. Although the Scratch Perverts were a duo at 'Skill' there are in fact three members, the other being Plus One (current World DJ Champion) . The Scratch Perverts formed in aUK attempt to join together successful DJs and try and win the DMC World Team championship. In 1999 they did, but decided to split afterwards.

This year at DMC they teamed up with the Allies (Craze and Infamous) named the team Perverted Allies and won again.

Although originally after the split it looked like the Scratch Perverts were to remain a two man team, Plus One has since become a permanent member. I was assured by Primecuts that this is now the way it will stay. "We're now a three man crew.

That's the Scratch Perverts. Legally this thing is bound to three people · if one of us wants to leave the crew that's it."

I ask how things have changed in the DJ world since they started. Primecuts points out that at the start they were never thinking things would get as big as they are, mainly due to a change in opportunities for DJs. " Doing this for a living? You would never have dreamt it !" Of course things have also changed within the Scratch Perverts and once more the subject of their split

8"'

'' I

~

0

:::: (") (")

::r 0> 3

'C

c;· :>

"' -o !" :::r

comes up. I ask why t he split happened, so soon after winning the world title. Tony compares it to the Italian Job: · The job was done and we all went our separate ways. • Nevertheless, they are extremely confident about their future as a three-man crew and in typical DJ manner say they are " unstoppable".

Commenting on their success as the Perverted Allies at DMC , they tell me about the differing attitudes between the two pairs that formed it. Practice seems to be the area in which they differed the most: as the Perverts were making sets, the Allies would make L's! This was clearly a worry sometimes as the pressure and expectancy on the crew to win was immense, due to both pairs being previous winners. Of course, they won and the experience was clearly special to them, although they did confirm to me that nothing beats winning the first time.

We move on to talk about the performance at 'Skill' and I comment about the large amount of drum and bass. Primecuts explains, "In events of this size everybody has a real different taste, but there's a common thread in most people which is drum and bass; it gets them going... To be perfectly honest it

gets us going as well.· Obviously, as they are best known for playing hip-hop, they have been worried about spinning drum and bass to their audiences. but the influences of Craze and Plus One seem to have encouraged them to go ahead with it. e move on to the subject of music loves and hates.

Tony reiterates his well known favourite of Red Hot Chilli Peppers and also tells me how much he can't stand the " rape" produced by groups such as Steps. Primecuts notes his particular loves as Bad Company, Beatnuts and the Neptunes, and hates as Wyclef Jean and the "awful comeback"

by Cliff Richard. In regard to the future they told me that there is a lot going on in the studio at the moment as well as performing in their favourite venues, such as Fabric. Also mentioned was the public desire to see them perform as a threeman team. Tony explained that we will have to wait to see them as a three because they still need to honour separate outstanding contracts. But then of course the best things comes to those who wait.

W

Wednesday, November 28 , 20 01

event

13

12

•

Knowledge:

1n

--------------------------------------- no. 55

Al Green

Do yo u st ay awake at ni ght won deri ng if Rac hel re al l y is preg nant ?

Ca n't do your work becaus e al l you can t hink about is how Dawson wi l l co pe away f rom Joey? Well, hel p i s at hand. as we hav e previ ewed t he next seri es of al l yo ur f avou r ite TV sh ows. Enjoy . . .

Text : Amy Bennett

•

rev1ew

Was his music popular when lt was released?

Without a doubt. Tired of Being Alone, taken from his second album Gets Next To You was his first major hit, a success in both the pop and R&B charts which he would come to dominate in the coming years. 1971 saw the release of Let's Stay Together, an immediate success, followed by the '72 track I'm Still in Love with You, which used the same chart topping formula. By 1974, Green had had numerous number ones, gold discs and sell out tours.

What was his formula?

A contemporary of James Brown, Green wasn't one to shout about being a sex machine. He was, however, responsible for some of the sexiest sounds available. The soft blend of soul, R&B and southern funk was Green's own and was as commercially successful as it was seductive. Women have been dropping their knickers to tracks such as I'm Glad You're Mine and (not without a touch of irony) One Night Stand since their release up until the present day.

Mr Lover-lover?

Touring up to 40 weeks a year and reportedly gearing his performances towards 'the ladies' Green wasn't just finding success as a musician. In 1974, however, women stopped giving it up for Big AI as he converted to born-again Christianity, later becoming a man of the cloth. Rev. Green applied his talents to the worship of the Lord, increasingly adding gospel to his melting pot of musical styles.

Is he still around?

If you 're in Memphis, drop by the church where Rev. Green preaches regularly. If it isn't on your travel itinerary you can catch him at the occasional concert. Although not singing as effortlessly as he once did, he still possesses his signature sensuous quality.

What should I buy?

The compilations are almost too well selected. I would recommend buying an actual studio album if you want to get to know AI Green. I'm Still in Love with You has some of his more famous tunes while leaving a lot to explore. Call Me is similar though a little less consistent .

In retrospect ••• Loving you whether/Times are good or bad, happy or sad...

Will Bentha/1

event the

Wednesday. November 28 . 2001

on the up, in the chair

Friends January E4

The We s t Win g January Channel 4

Friends is beginning to specialise in season cliff-hangers, and season seven was no exception. Monica (Courtney Cox·Arquette) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) finally tied the knot, but the big question at the end was 'is Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) pregnant and if so who's the father? ' Season Eight is set to kick off at the wedding reception with the six friends trying to find out t he answers to those questions. Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) , suspecting that Rachel actually is pregnant, tries to cover up the fact with a story of her own. Elsewhere Ross (David Schwimmer) tries to impress a single woman (played by guest star Bonny Somerville) Chandler attempts to dance, and Joey (Matt Le Blanc) attempts to impress a Broadway producer (although you'd have thought that conducting your friends' wedding ceremony dressed as a soldier might have already caught everyone's attention).

This season will probably be worth watching just for the simple fact that it is the last ever, and there are lots of loose ends that will no doubt be ne~tly tied up. Whereas season seven concentrated solely on the forthcoming wedding, this season looks set to focus on the parentage of Rachel's baby. Is the father Tag, her assistant and for· mer boyfriend; Joey, or Ross? My money is on Ross, but no doubt the suspense will be dragged out. Quite literally then. a whodunnit ...

If you missed this multi-Emmy award winning show last season, make sure to tune in this t ime around.' Brilliantly written and superbly acted, it portrays an utterly believable world of political plot and intrigue. Last season's finale showed an assassination attempt on President Josiah Bartlet (Martin Sheen) , and this season's curtain rises on his staff trying to determine who fired the shots and whether the president is fatally wounded. The show is promising answers but there are also some startling revelations about the President's health along the way, the repurcussions of which form the basis of the series right up to the season finale. Working under the president is a large supporting cast. The president's chief of staff, Leo McGarry {John spe·ncer) is in charge of keeping them all in order, but there is the usual array of shyness (personal assistant Charlie, played by Dule Hill), cynicism (Communications director Toby Ziegler played by Richard Schiff) and romance. The new series sees the addition of a new blonde Republican woman to the team creating a slightly more partisan approach t o The West Wing's PC politics. Look out too for more of Stockhard Channing, especially towards the end of the series as tht; President's doctor wife. She alone makes this one of the must-see programmes for your New Year's viewing.

Dawson's Creek January E4 From Pulp Action, right?

Let's Stay Together(Green's most famous song) was used in Pulp Fiction, yes. His music is frequently heard in films and adverts and is easy to recognise.

Inquisitor:

How time flies ... Everyone's favourite angst-ridden teenagers are all grown up, and heading out into the big bad world, t o universities as fict itious as their hometown.

The season closed with Dawson (James Van Der Seek) and Joey (Katie Holmes) kissing in Dawson's bedroom, in a mirroring of the end of Season One. Predictably, the first episode of the new season is set to deal with the fallout of the kiss. But fear not, executive producer Paul Stupin, has promised to try and move away from the whole DawsonjPacey1Joey eternal triangle. The early signals for this seem good- after all, Joey is at Worthington University on the East Coast, Dawson is trying to bust into filmmaking at USC in Los Angeles, and Pacey (Joshua Jackson) has spent the summer crewing on a boat.

However it seems fairly inevitable that one or more of these three will end up back together. Perhaps the question shouldn't be who will get together, but how will it happen? Elsewhere, Jack (Kerr Smith) and Jen (Michelle Williams) are shacked up at Gram's house getting into the party scene at Boston Bay College, and Joey has acquired a new roommate, Audrey, who apparently has an eye for the men. Perhaps she could offer Joey some tips ...

And don't worry, Dawson has finally had a hair cut and lost the mullet look! If this all sounds a bit too like the Dawson's Creek of the previous four seasons, then brace yourself for the death of a much loved character a few episodes into the new series.

All y Mcf!eal

February E4 Just when you thought it was safe ... Last season saw the Skinny One's relationship with Larry (Robert Downey JR) crash and burn. Unstable at the best of times, Ally (Calista Flockhart) suffers an imagination overload · me~ning the return of the dancing baby - and spends some quality t ime thinking about her former lovers. This probably means the chance to see lots of c lips of Billy before he bleached his hair and died. The rest of the bunch is up to their asual tricks. Ling (Lucy liu) becomes a judge, and the others continue to make us wonder when they ever get round to the business of actually earning money. Nell (Portia De Rossi) remains an emotional Ice Queen, Elaine (Jane Krakowski) dishes out the usual 'helpful' hints, and John (Peter MacNicol) decides he and Ally were destined to be together. Imagine the therapy bills if that one ever came about. Guest stars this season are set to include Mariah carey, suing for a refund from a dating agency, a piano-playing Elton John, and, weirdest of all, Jon Bon Jovi as Ally's new love interest. The season should be worth watching for that alone.

Sex and the City January Channel 4 Are soulmates a reality or a torture device? Are we getting wiser or just older? Just a couple of the questions facing Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker) in the return of Sex and The City. Yet again she is delving into the lives of her three friends and dragging us along with her, as she incorporates their 'relationships' in her New York Star sex column (I can just imagine my friends' reactions if I tried the same thing) .

Charlotte (Kristen Davis) and Trey's (Kyle MacLachlan) marriage is back on track after Trey's 'problem', but Charlotte is still having issues with his mother. Carrie decides being friends with Mr. Big is the safest route, but it seems strangely inevitable that this route will lead straight to a bed. Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) discovers that her ex boyfriend Steve is setting up a bar in the city with Carrie's ex , Aidan. So does that mean that they'll end up back together? I guess we have to wait and see.

The ever-promiscuous Samantha (Kim Catteral) is back on the prowl but this time she wants a relationship. If that seems a little out of character, wait for the punch line this time she's looking for a woman!

Always funny , always entertaining, and also reassuring, watch the new season safe in the knowledge that although the men you know may be strange, they 're never quite Sex and the City strange.

Ba nzai February Channel 4 Love it or hate it, its back for a new season in February.

General opinion may be divided over the Japanarama betting show, but the consensus of my flatmates is that if you do really want to watch it, it's essential to be drunk.

Then again, games like 'Play Your Bras Right' and ' Kitchen Appliance Conkers' are probably also your bag. If they are. then you'll also be glad to know that Mr. Shakehands Man is back and this time he's brought along his American cousin, especially for a Stateside visit.

Cheeky Chappie, The Animal Scientists, Lady One Question and Team Dwarf' are also set to be in attendance. So if cult Japanese gambling programmes are your thing, make February a red-letter month. For everyone else, it might be worth watching it for the first t ime after several pints, or you might find yourself actually caring how long a stuffed cat can stay on top of a rattling washing machine.

Pictures (clockwise from top): 1. The cast of Banzai 2. Calista Flockhart as Ally McBeal 3. (From left to right) Michelle Wiliams; James Van Der Seek; Joshua Jackson; Katie Holmes: Dawson's Creek

Boy meets world? Ki d Ga l ahad pay homage to Elvis, masquerade as mon keys and terrorise Scotsmen!

How did you get your name?

Kid Gatahad is an Elvis film. We took it because we thought it funny that Elvis plays a singing and dancing boxer and it's cool to have a band named after the king of the world.

Who are your Influences?

Elvis isn't a musical influence, really. When we started we loved the Beetles, Grandaddy, Beck, the Pixies even taking things from Jim Abbiss when we were working in the studio.

He introduced us to a few techniques that we didn't know about before. lt's like playing with different musicians in a studio- you just pick up different ways of writing.

When Is the album coming out? it's finished. The third EP is out on the 26 of this month and the album should be out in February some time next year.

At the moment it's called Gold Dust Noise, but that's just a working title.

I hear one song was recorded al fresco. lt was a really sunny day and we were sitting outside messing around with acoustic guitars so we brought the mike out. lt sounds a lot better if there's ambience in the background like the sound of lorries going past and some woman kick-starting her vibrator.

Jlm Abblss has worked with Bjork and DJ Shadow. Were you nervous?

Not really, we were before we met him but he's essentially down to earth like us. His musical tastes are pretty much the same as ours. He carries around this CD wallet and my top fifteen albums are in it so it couldn't be better. it would take quite a lot to put us in a position where we feel uncomfortable.

Who are the monkeys mentioned on the first EP, Steal/n' Beats?

The monkeys are the band. I started writing the lyrics and got to the first line, 'Fat cats in fat slacks.' and I wanted to keep animals in the whole thing. it sort of went a bit Planet of the Apes!

Have you any amusing stories to report?

We' re at this bar in Glasgow and there are loads of mean looking Scotsmen everywhere. Bully (Ash) is sitting next to his mate and he goes to the toilet. When he comes back his mate's gone but the guy sitting in his place is dressed in exactly the same clothes. The guy's bending over to order a drink and Bully sees an opening in the back of his trousers, picks up a candle and pours the wax down this bloke's arse crack. He spent the rest of this night apologising to this guy and didn't get his head kicked in, which was amazing!

Kleren McSweeney

Wed nesday . November 28, 2001

event

14 Film

Jay and Silent Bob ••

Directed by Kevi n Smith Starring: Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith and Shannon Elizabeth

Red Bank, Jersey · s most famous Residents are bac k an d this time t hey!ve got their own fi l m.

Swapping the confines of a convience store for the open road . Jay and Si l ent Bob head west .

The name Kevin Smith can only call up one mental image. That image is of two stoners - one fat and quiet, the other longhaired and foul-mouthed. Yes indeed, Jay (Mewes) and Silent Bob (Smith) are back for one final instalment of the Red Bank ' saga. Unfortunately their payoff is more Jedi than Empire.

Lets face it. You're either going to love two hours of dick and fart jokes, or you're going to hate it. lt all depends on whether you think Smith Is a cinematic genius or not.

Just to recap, in the first four instalments of the saga Jay and Bob hung around a convenience store while we listened to the inane conversations of the two employees in Clerks. Jay and Bob then hung around a shopping mall while we listened to the inane conversations of two comic geeks in Mal/rats.

Jay and Bob are pretty much non-existent in Chasing Amy. But the following film Dogma sees Jay and Bob save the world from two renegade angels with the help of the last relative of Jesus.

However bizarre or mundane they may seem, Smith's first four fi lms were at least saved by the fact that they all contained side-splittlngly witty dialogue. Dialogue which only rarely makes an appearance In this film. Don't misunderstand though. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back is still a thoroughly entertaining night out purely because of the fabled offensiveness of Jay. The painfully slow first ten minutes smacks of a family reunion more than scene setting, as the plot Is set up in a rather cheesy fashion.

After discovering that a film is going to be made using characters based on their comic book alter-egos, the duo aim to get

event Wednesday .

their share of the profits.

However, having read web postings bitching about their film, Bluntman and Chronic, they decide to stop the film being made altogether and set off for Hollywood. Along the way they meet a van load of hot women, steal an orang-utan (the Suzanne from the Mal/rats credits) and showcase their amazing ability for gratuitous verbal diarrhoea.

Unfortunately the orangutan subplot precipitates the arrival of a Federal Wildlife Marshall Willenholly (Will Farrell) who Is an embarrassment to the film. Think of a cross between Dudley Doright and Doofy from Scary Movie and you're on the right track.

The plot as Jay and Bob get from New Jersey to Hollywood is just too creaky and has too many stupid twists to stand up 100 minutes of action. In fact there's only just enough clever scripting to make up a mediocre TV special.

When they get to Hollywood though it all returns to classic Smith territory and this just about rescues the movie. it's also good to see all the old characters back for cameos , along with a huge number of other stars including Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher.

Don't worry If you're new to Smith though, you'll enjoy it all the same. In fact, you ' ll probably love it more because your expectations won't be as high.

Atex Thorpe.

7/10

Novembe r 28. 2001

Fi 1m 15

Storytelling:

Directed by Todd Solontz Starring: Selma Blair and Paul Giamatti

Todd Solontz has never been known for pulling his punches. but his lastest film Storytelling sees him easing up on the tasteless black comedy and controversial subject matter. Ki nda ...

After the disturbing, no-holds-barred approach that Solondz took with his earlier work, Storytelling seems at first glance quite restrained in comparison. Gone are the 'money' shots, the blood and the vomit. Similarly absent are the paedophiles, perverts, playground bullies, and other modern social monsters that made up the foundations of both Welcome To The Dol/house and Happiness. Instead, the film revolves around two characters: a vunerable, post-grad creative writing student, Vi (Biair), and a pot-smoking, apathetic, teenaged loser, Scooby (Webber), whose only aspiration in life is to be a talk show host.

The apparent normality in the set up of this film does not signify any regression in Solondz's ambition to strive for controversy and debate. In fact, if anything Storytelling is more disturbing in the openness with which he tackles taboos whilst retaining an air of subtlety. Well, as subtle as Solondz can get anyway, which, to be honest, isn't very subtle. The opening shot, for instance, is of Vi at the moment of orgasm on top of her boyfriend, Marcus, an undergraduate inflicted with cerebral palsy. This reaction against the glossy, Max Factored images we are so used to seeing on our screens is Intensified by Marcus' subsequent complaint at the diminishing quality of their sex life: "The sex isn't kinky anymore." he says to his distinctly unsweaty girlfriend. "You've become kind." The last shot of the film is similarly memorable, as Scooby arrives home to find his entire family being taken away in body bags by paramedics.

So where exactly is the connection between the beginning and the ending? Well, there isn't one. For Storytelling is actually two separate films, entitled "Fiction" and "Non-fiction". In fact the only connection between them is their theme, which is (you guessed it) telling stories. And this is where the main problem with Storytelling lies: it just doesn't work as a whole. As is the case with most films that deal with more than one primary story, there are usually cross-references and interconnections, which give the overall film a reason for existing in the state that it is. In Storytelling, there has been no such attempt made, and so, ironically, the audience is left feeling cheated of an actual story, especially since neither section has any real conclusion.

This is added to by the fact that the second of the two pieces is distinctly longer than the first, unintentionally placing a great deal more importance upon it when in fact it is the weaker of the two.

Despite the film failing as a whole, its constituent parts are excellent. The acting, for example, is generally very good: in "Fiction". the tension between Blair and Robert Wilson (who plays Vi's creative writing teacher) is at times extremely

uncomfortable; while in "Non-fiction". Paul Giamatti is fantastic as the pathetic shop assistant turned documentary film maker, who records the dysfunction and tragedy that befalls Scooby and his family, and then plays it for laughs to the test audiences. Nevertheless, at a brisk running time of 87mlnutes, you are left with the feeling that a lot more could have been told.

Mark/and Starkle

London Film Festival on Tour: See tommorow's films today, Well three of them at least. From December 7th to December 9th the London Film Festival Tour is in town, with Cinema City hosting Mulholland Drive, Dark Blue World and Fatma.

Living in our sleepy little hamlet, one can feel a little left out of the cutting edge cultural life that the rest of the country seems to enjoy. We are forced to watch jealously as London hosts all manner of premieres, and despite only being a train ride away,

the glamour of the big city remains tantalizingly out of our grasp. Aeons pass before that all important left-field film reaches us, while our less provincial neighbours have got bored and moved on to the next big thing. Yes, it's a tad frustrating living

the life of a commited cineaste in Norwich. Thank heaven then for The London Film Festival on Tour, coming this December.

Because, for three films, at least we will not have to wait, quite the opposite in fact, we will be able to see them months before the rest of the country even catches a glimpse.

The most anticipated film of this cinematic triptych must surely be David Lynch's return to weirdsville, Mulholland Drive.

Whipping up a stir at almost every festival it has graced, Mulholland Drive sees Lynch revisit the seedy underbelly of American culture that made his name, after the pastoral detour that was The Straight Story. This time, he has relocated to Hollywood, casting his twisted gaze on the showbiz industry. As ever it's very hard to know what to expect from Lynch, judging from advance word one gets the feeling that even after seeing the film we will still be none the wiser. Beginning with a car crash in which one of the two leads loses her memory.

Mulho/land Drive is a psuedo-detective tale following two women's journey through the slime and filth of the Hollywood fame machine. Originally conceived by Lynch as a TV pilot, but deemed too bizarre, Mulholland Drive shows at 2.30pm and 8.15pm, Wednesday 8th December at Cinema City.

Best described as "the thinking man's Pearl Harbour", Dark Blue World is the tale of the Czechoslavakian airmen who fourght alonside our pilots in defence of dear old blighty in the Battle of Britain. Like Pearl Harbour we get to see lots of shootem up-style dogfights and the three way love triangles that now seem to be de rigeur in these wartime epics. But unlike it's more one dimensonal contemporaries (Enigma, I'm talkin to you). Dark Blue World promises a more convincing and human picture of the horror and reality of war. Directed by Jan Svaerak, whose previous film was the highly successful Koyla, Dark Blue World screens at 7.30pm on December 9th.

Last, but by no means least, Fatma addresses the very topical issue of women's rights in Arab countries. Set in Tunisia and telling the story of a young woman struggling to deal with the emotional damage caused by sexual abuse and her subsequent fear of men, Fatma is a richly emotional study of the clash between the modern and the traditional. And as this screening (8.15pm, Decenber 7) promises to be Norwich's only chance to catch this highly original film, it is definitely worth a look .

Merek Cooper

Wednesday. November 28, 2001

event

16 Albums

Smashing Pumpkins:

Rotten Apples/ Judas 0

Smashing Pumpki ns. What you do when you get bored aft er Halloween (espec ially if you live on the 3rd floor in Waveney) but also a band at the ir height in the mid 1990s.

Five years on from t he ult imate recog nition of fame (an appearance on The Simpsons), the Pumpk ins have done the co llecti on of tear stai ned fa rewel l gigs, t he mics have been packed up and t he trashed arena has been cleared. And surprise, surprise, they've gone and done the normal thing and released a great est hits album, thei r last ever musical product.

Rotten Apples (disc 1) is 16 tracks charting the evolution of the likeable Pumpkins from the early monumental grit of Siva, to the swirling, grandiose, Tonight, Tonight and the niggling greatness of 1979. Consequently you can see how they progressed from sincere grunge through a sense of creeping weirdness to the clatter and grinding crunch of the tracks from their Machina album .

The evolution, wh ich only few bands such as U2 manage to pull off successfully, proves that the Pumpkins constantly strove to break the boundaries of the stolid rock band and mostly succeeded , placing them in the category of alternative rock . As with any evolution there will be mistakes along the way, some of which managed to get on this CD. The Everlasting Gaze, which should have been consigned to the dustbin, springs to mind. The only solution to this would be to scratch out the track, forcing your player to skip it.

The second CD (Judas 0) is stylishly designed to look like a boot leg . Upon it is a wealth of b-sides and rarities, possibly because there weren't enough hits to stretch to two discs. If that doesn 't stiffen your nipples for exclusiveness, there are some never seen before pictures of the band -joy of joys! My life is now complete. If, however, you aren't a Pumpkins obsessive (scrabbling to get at the previously unreleased material), you'll probably accept Judas 0 for what it is: a set of unreleased, didn't quite make the grade, inferior songs. The whiny cover of Rock On is one that particularly drills through my brain.

Others may view it as a look into the world of a multi faceted band with many styles, which show a depth lacking in the more commercially accessible tracks of Rotten Apples. This may be so, but the easier on the ear and less artistic tracks of Rotten Apples cuts a likeable rut into which one can lie . Judas 0, though artistic, cuts no such rut, likeable or otherwise.

This album is a beast with two heads. Rotten Apples is a likeable delve into the development of the Pumpkins, with gems such as the hard rocking Bullet With Butterfly Wings enticing your eardrums to resonate with satisfaction . Judas 0 however, sounds surgically attached, a head which was discarded in the making of the other albums. lt feels as if it shouldn't be there.

Matthew Beavan

6/10

Robbie Williams

Creed:

Five:

Sw1ng When You're ...

Weathered

Greatec;t

Robbie Williams is, unfortunately, the epitome of English popular culture - arrogant , self-obsessed, unoriginal and bland.

Nowhere is this more evident than on his new album, Swing When You're Winning. From its self-congratulatory title (an ohso hilarious pun on the equally self-aggrandising title of his previous effort Sing When You 're Winning - see what he did there?), to the crass pictures of Robbie in full Rat Pack costume, there has probably not been as vomit-inducing an album released for a very long t ime. lt begins with one of Williams' own creations (though he had a little help from song-writing partner Guy Chambers), I Will Talk and Hollywood Will Listen.

Its utterly over-dramatic over-production glistens with arrogance and self-importance, and combines cringeworthy vocals with an uninspired tune and vacuous lyrics that leave you wondering if something so tuck-awful has ever been recorded before. An extremely bad start . The good news is that the album gets better. The bad news is not by much. The remaining 14 songs are hideously insipid and jejune renditions of old classics such as Mack the Knife, Mr. Bojangles and One For My Baby. For Williams to consider himself worthy of recording songs once sung by the likes of Louis Armstrong, Nina Simone and Sammy Davis Jr, and to utterly decimate them in the process, removing all life, passion and emotion from them, shows how little respect he has for his so-called heroes. On lt Was a Very Good Year our Robbie even has the audacity to synthetically duet with the late Frank Sinatra. And, as overrated a singer as Sinatra was, that Will iams feels he can successfully duet with him - he can 't - is indicative of the kind of arrogance that makes the album all the more sickening . Williams' awful performance could be somewhat excused if you felt this really was an album of heartfelt passion. That he's merely jumping on the swing bandwagon in time for Christmas seems much more likeM lscha Pear/man ly, however. Pure , unadulterated wank.

America 's favourite God-rock band is back , and they're better than ever before. Well , actually , they're just back . The band, who, in the booklet for new album Weathered, thank God for everything and tell us that they wear 'Screamline' clothing maybe fa ith really does breed consumerism - have released their follow-up to the massive Human Clay, but this time they've become self-conscious. "This is not about God ," sings vocal ist Scott Stapp on Signs. "Spiritual insinuations seem to shock our nation, " he cont inues, quite a bizarre statement considering that Creed are one of the biggest bands in the States and have sold millions of albums. Quite why is another question . Forgiving and ignoring the blatant sanctimonious nature that permeates the lyrics of the majority of the songs, the music itself is nothing very special. Flitting between heavy ballads such as One Last Breath (one of the better songs on the album), the pure all out rock of songs like Freedom Fighter (who 's " raging on in Holy War " ... yada yada yada) and the very mellow closing track Lullaby, the album could have been very good , but falls quite a way short of the mark. Stapp's voice is powerful but it always sounds constrained, and the overdriven guitars just don't work all that well with the voca ls. What it all comes down to in the end is that Creed rea lly just can't rock .

Ironically , there are almost elements of Antichrist Superstar-era Marilyn Manson in some of the songs, but Manson does it so much better. As do 3 Doors Down, another American God-rock band , but a much better one than Creed .

That's not to say this is absolutely awful, but there are many bands around who do the same or similar thing much better.

Those who liked Human Clay will undoubtedly like Weathered because it follows the same formula and sounds very similar to its predecessor, but there 's nothing exciting or amazing here. lt would make more sense to buy Rotten Apples.

M lscha Pear/man

In celebration of their massive success over the past four years, the award-winning boy band, Five have released a fantastic compilation of their best tunes. After selling over seven million copies of their three albums, Five, Invincible and Kingsize, the group have certainly given their fans a farewell treat .

Five 's announcement that they would no longer be rocking the world with their fine songs came as a shock to most people in the music industry - and their fans . But with rumours of Jay 's depression and Sean's rather unfortunate bout of glandular fever being rife amongst the tabloid press, perhaps it's time that these boys did call it a day and leave a gap for some new fit , talented lads to take over the pop world.

The album features all those famous songs, which have, incidently, been institutionalised by the LCR, including Everybody Get Up and Slam Dunk Da Funk.

But the highlight is definitely the recent number one hit, Lets Dance. Alongside S Club's Keep on Movin', this little number is the best pop song of the year. And their current single, the tear-jerking Closer to Me is worth a listen too. And with lyrics such as "Every time I see your face I miss you baby " and "I don 't think you know what you 're doing to me" could lead to the assumption that there is a broken heart among the band somewhere - Jay and Mel C? Ha ha.

The final track on the album very aptly sums up Five's relative ly long career in pop. A long medley of all of their most successful songs confirms that the time really is through for these guys - but they'll undoubtedly be back trying to carve themselves out solo careers. And I don 't think the details of their love-l ife antics will be left alone by the media either.

But, while most fans will be delighted with Five 's Greatest Hits, if you are the owner of one of the seven million albums they have sold over the years, then don't waste your money because there is very little new material here.

Katle Hind

V I

4/10

l V

event Wednesday .

November 28, 2001

,/Lv

~;t-s

r-----------------------------------------------------------------------------~-------------------------------

---- --- - Singles 17

Belle and Sebastian â&#x20AC;˘â&#x20AC;˘ Waking Up To You Tuneful, bouncy and ready for a warm and cosy Belle and Sebastian Christmas. Their cheery new EP, Waking Up To You, has all the elements of a masterpiece, eo-produced by Mike Hurst, who aided the production of Cat Stevens and Shakin' Stevens. The melodic overtones and the sardonic undertones leave one feeling earnest and at the same time smiley. Waking Up To You leaves you thinking about relationships past and present, not so much negatively, but nostalgically. What is most impressive is the other tracks, but not so much the first one (I love my car) featuring the Uptown Shuffiers, who will be familiar to all those who attended any of their Scottish shows in the past year. Lyrically speaking it sounds a bit fillerish, and by the end sounded more like a one man, trombone playing band walking along the promenade, but still remains clever enough to hold the attention and be glad they didn't stop when you first thought they would.

The best track is the third one, Marx and Engels, which is a lot more subtle than the other songs. lt ebbs and flows, holding the subtlety while remaining earnest and emotive.

Ed Webb-lnga/1

Cypress Hill:

Trouble/Lowrider

lt takes some doing to go from sounding like the Spooks to sounding like Limp Bizkit in under two minutes, but let it never be said that Cypress Hill can't rouse themselves from a druginduced stupor to jump on a bandwagon once in a while. it's what they do for the first song of this double A-side single, Trouble. But this is still being-pleasantly-surprised territory, with the 'Hill expending what seems like a whole lot more energy than in their Black Sunday heyday. God forbid, this is the Cypress Hill you can dance to. it's a lot funkier than their previous output, even if the nu-metal angle is less than convincing. Lowrider is also considerably sillier than much of their back catalogue, coming across like OPM covering Rawhide with an Eminem bassline. Shame Trouble isn't a Coldplay cover, though. Next album, maybe?

Oxide and Neutrino:

<Rap Diss)

This hits the shops on November 26, and that is hopefully where it will remain. These records are incredibly disappointing, and that's coming from a UK Garage fanatic .

Poor quality production and excessive swearing is overtly striking . Even with the help of six members of the So Solid Crew , little impact is made.

They are a good live act, but this just doesn't represent that at all . The tracks lack energy, and it leads me to conclude that these South Londoners are just trading on the name. No UK Garage DJs have touched this record, and it's not hard to see why.

Save your pocket money and spend it on a ticket for their tour touching down at UEA on Wednesday , December 5 instead.

Mark Wheeler

Tessa North

Nitin Sawhney:

Cold and Intimate

"A dark rock-edged track ", it says on the press release. Not too sure about the "rock-edged " part, but one thing you could certainly not accuse Sawhney of is producing a happy track . A smooth piece of hip-hop fuelled introspection, this has a rare cerebral quality. Guest vocalist Tina Grace has an understated purity about her voice, and the minimalist effect of the mus1c means that the whole product reminds me of Bjork's wonderful All is Full of Love. The edgy mellowness of tris track means that it deserves to be bought by more people than actually will, and that any chill out album released next year should include it.

Backed up with two okay remixes (although a finger could be pointed at the unwillingness of both to really explore the track), this warrants more than occasional airplay on Radio One's specialist shows.

Anthony Lovell

Wyclef Jean:

Wish You Were Here

A hip-hop cover of a Pink Floyd ctass1c - okay . Excuse me if I'm slightly sceptical. I'd love to hear what Wyc lef'd do with Shine On You Crazy Diamond, but as it is Wish You Were Here was a good choice . The song copes well with the obligatory beats and upped tempo . Respect is evident; for the original, for the style of music and for the fact he 's made a true cover, not just a new song with samples. The beats and raps are fully part of the song , not grafted on top.

Someone once said that you can't ruin a classic song, however much you mangle it. Obviously over the years that's been proved painfully wrong (Ms Spears' cover of Satisfaction springs to mind) but fortunately that 's not the case here. If the majority of music is genre based , it 's good to know that at least one artist's influences aren 't totally generic .

Kleran Pearson

..

Pictures (clockwise from top): 1. Belle and Sebastian; 2. Cypress Hill ; 3. Oxide and Neutrino; 4. Wyclef Jean

Wednesday, November 28, 2001

event

18 Video/DVD

Tomb Raide r

• •

Direc ted by Simon West St arr ing: Angelina Jolie and Jon Voight

Angelina Jolie breathes life into the eponymous heroine's great ... personality, whilst her army of adolescent male fans watch very, very closely.

From Street Fighter through Super Mario Brothers to Mortal Kombat: the history of computer games reaching the big screen is a rather short if hilarious one. Frankly , it would be possible to count all the decent conversions on the fingers of one hand and sti ll have enough digits left the count off the number of Rocky films (should you really want to, that is.)

Undeterred by this chequered history, however, Hollywood has allowed yet another schoolboy obsession to make the leap from console to the big screen. However, this time they have something new up their sleeves. Rather than rely on Italian plumbers or large men in silly costumes beating each other up, they're appealing to the other side of the male psyche with the first screen outing of game siren Lara Croft in the shapely form of former Oscar winner, Angelina Jolie.

You see, Jolie's Lara Croft is no ordinary woman. Not content with being able to balance the combined weight of her ample assets and even more ample arsenal of weapons: she also possesses hearing which allows her to detect a faint ticking from a clock in a secret room under the stairs of her house. And the ability to rip open the solid wood entrance to aforementioned room using only her bare hands. All whilst wearing a fine selection of clothes, surprisingly, tightly fitted clothes. Jolie , though, has the ability to make this all seem perfectly natural. Never has the phrase "plays the part with great zeal" been so unnecessary. Jolie proves to be, without a doubt , the finest choice for a part which capitalizes on her physique, attitude and the fact that the woman is ever so slightly unhinged.

Rabid

• •

No, Tomb Raider really isn't as bad as you'd expect. And it's not just because of Jolie , either. In fact, at some points things get dangerously close to being quite good. The location work in Cambodia , Venice and Iceland is little short of breathtaking: in the case of the former. featuring Lara running around some genuinely stunning ancient temples which put the production values of even Indiana Jones to shame. In every case, however. Lara and friends leave these astonishing vistas to find themselves on rather dull looking soundstages somewhere in Los Angeles surrounded by all manner of shoddy looking fibre-glass statues and spinning globe type things. Where, true to the logic of the games, everything from gun toting villains to possessed stone idols can be easily dispatched by the power of Lara's dual pistols. it's very much like having two movies, one a delightful travel documentary (with guns) and the other a hammy and often slightly ti resome shoot ·em up (with bigger guns) Unsurprisingly. Tomb Raider is not Shakespeare. But, then, it ·s not Shakespeare's Sister either. Like all good popcorn films it finds itself a nice spot between idiocy and entertainment and stubbornly refuses to budge an inch in either direction. it's a thoroughly enjoyable romp around the world which will appeal to anyone who can appreciate the intricate art which is firing a selection of high calibre weapons whilst engaged in displays of extreme physical dexterity . I feel ever so slightly out of breath just watching the woman.

Phi/ Colvin

6/10

Directed by David Cronenberg Starring: Marily n Chambers, Frank Moo re and Joe Silver

Infection, penetration, and strange new orifices, Rabid has a 11 the classic Cronenburg hallmarks. Now you can go straight to the gross bits with this DVD. "Don't Scream. Don't Panic. He 's dead ... and the dead can't hurt the living". So says the dark husky voice-over man on the trailer.

But thanks to pioneering surgeon Dan Keloid, this is no longer the case. His dari ng and experimental su rgical techniques he uses to save the life of motorbike accident victim Rose are not exactly routine medical procedure. And before you have time to shout at the TV "Dammit man! Think of the consequences!" - He gives her a virus, turning her into a sexua ll y charged woman with vampireesque tendencies.

Indeed under normal circumstances we'd call in Quincy and have the whole situation sorted out in less than fifty minutes . But not in this case, Cronenberg leads us through the story death-by-death, in gory detail. As we 've seen in Videodrome and eXistenZ, the Canadian director does seem to have an unhealthy obsession with bodily orifices, and this film is no exception. Fleshy needles project from the infected person's body in order to draw blood from the others. In one situation it's from a man's eye, in the case of Rose it's from her armpit. Delicious.

The character of Rose is played by legendary thespian actress Marylin Chambers, star of such films as Lusty Busty Fantasies, Angel of H.E.A . T. and Sexual Ecstasy of the Macumba.

Cronenberg describes her "on the pantheon of porn stars, she might be up there with the top three or four", and yet c laims to never

ev-ef'it

Wednesday, November 28, 2001

have seen any of her porn films. So she can cope with orifices, but can she act? Well yes, she can, receiving quite good reviews at the time of the films release, she does seem to display a genuine confused fear about her, alternating between innocent woman and frenzied vampire with a degree of skill. lt is a wonder that she never made any other legitimate films after this one .

The DVD itself is well made, if a little sparse on the extra features. Though it does have a ten-minute introduction by the director, this doesn't make up for its lack of a commentary. The production notes contain no insight into the making of this film or the special effects used. In fact, the only advantage I can see of owning the DVD version is the ability to skip straight to any of the scenes where Mari lyn Chambers is nude. Which I admit, I did a number of times.

Though the film is fun in an 70s-horror kind of way, it is only really for the true Cronenberg fan . If you desperately want to see a great gory, thought provoking film then rent Scanners, Videodrome or Naked Lunch.

Rabid varies between being effective and dull, skulking around under the shadow of Shivers and Night of the Living Dead instead of finding it's own two feet - leaving you thinking: "If only Quincy had made an appearance."

Zac Wa/sh

5/10

TV/Radio 19 Essential Soaps: Is it just me, or is Eastenders getting a wee bit boring lately?

Don't get me wrong, the Slater plot was a corker as far as soaps go and the whole incident with Billy and Janine has provided many an hour of rib-splitting entertainment. But the reason I make these hasty allegations is because I'm beginning to pay more attention to what the characters look like than what's actually happening. Now far be it from me to get personal, or to even be· dare I say?- bitchy, but has anybody else noticed that Beppe di Marco's head is square? Good looking he may be, but it's got to the stage where all he needs to do is lose the facial hair and he'll start being mistaken for Kryten out of Red Dwarf. Perhaps it's God's way of punishing him for wangling his greasy chinas between Lynne and Garry. Oh well, at least a bit of action between the sheets might finally put a smile on Lynne's face . Funnily enough, Pauline's walking around with a grin the size of a Cheshire Cat on her face too this week, which leads Martin and Asif into thinking she's got a new bit of crumpet on the scene. Even the loveless Rabble is up for some possible action when he clinches a date with Nita, but I don't fancy his chances much judging by the face-like-aslapped-arse attitude we've seen her in at the shop. Steve OWen's up to his tricks again this week, when he slips Billy no mates five hundred nicker to plant rats in the fridge at Mel's business launch. I don't see why he couldn't just ask Billy him· self, I'm sure he could beat the rats hands down on the germ festering front .

Swiftly on to Neighbours, where the events are hotting up for poor Lou, who's been doing a great job with the Lolly shenanl· gans. This week it all comes to a nail biting head, as Lou finally tells John and Sandy Alien to get lost, 'til Sandy takes the biscuit and tries to take Lolly, too. I hope Lou's well stocked up with some talc and gripper gloves 'cos it looks like he's in for one mother of a tug of war. Mind you, I'm sure he'll pull through no problem if he's got good old Harold as his anchor.

In Hollyoaks it's all wedding bells for Geri who seems to be going down the same cheesy road as Anthea Turner and co by doing a dodgy deal with a tacky celeb magazine. Something's bound to go pear-shaped going by usual event~. Perhaps they'll get secretly snapped gorging themselves with Cadbury's Snowflakes too, and have their photos slapped across the Chester Gazette or whatever it's called. Never mind that though, first Geri's got to get past her mutton dressed as mum Jacqui, who's sticking her oar in a bit too much with the wedding plans, probably by demanding a puffy sleeved meringue wedding dress. Wish the girl luck, it looks like she's going to need itl Kate Herrlngton

Miss This: The Saturday Sho With the glorious sun setting on Ant and Dec's SM:TV Live, I found myself in somewhat of a quandary. "What will I do" I wailed, "Saturday morning will simply be another vacuous space without the hilarious duo" . I tried switching over to the BBC for Saturday morning enlightenment ... A word of advice: don't. Not even when the only alternative is Channel Five. Why, oh why do the BBC refuse point blank to stop carting out the ding dang ·nonsense that they do? The Saturday Show, hosted by my favourite person Dani Behr, is mercilessly invading our screens and terrorising children. lt incorporates that unique characteristic of morning television for children: screaming at them. Why don't these gibbering idiots, I'm sorry, why can't children's television presenters speak to children properly?

Children should be treated with the respect they deserve, not be shouted at as if they're slightly senile Teletubbies, by a

BBC 1 woman who couldn't construct a sentence without an autocue.

I don 't want to rant, although I am completely aware that this is what I am doing, but what is this " house band" ? it isn't Later With Jools you know. The Saturday Show "house band " (whose name I have deleted from my memory .. .forever) play pop sing- alongs so badly it hurts. The rendition of Eminem's Please Stand Up was by far the most cringe-worthy, encouraging children to wave their hands and act in an unsavoury gangsteresque manner. Sarah Greene would be turning in her TV grave . You simply cannot compare the travesty that is Super Duper Sumos with classics like The Chipmunks or Clarissa Explains lt All. There isn't enough space to underline why it's all so very, very bad . We are in the midst of the apocalpse. I think it's fair to say that Saturdays will never be the same Serena Murray again. Dammit.

Essential TV 01: Top of the Meet the Liverwire DJ's:

Narc h Buffet Fridays 10-12am So what's your show like? it's different every weekl Alan likes. guitar music, he has more classic albums than I do, tracks I've always wanted but never got round to buying. I like more funky stuff and a bit of soul.

Anything that gets me dancing. Alan's laughing at me as I dance round the studio during the show!

How did the show start?

Alan's going to blame me for this. According to him I insisted that we should do a show together when I was very drunk sometime last year! He stuck to his word though, so here we are. I think we work well together, I'm very chatty whilst Alan says the funny things. We have a good rapport.

Who are you and what's your show? it is called the Narch Buffet. I'm Gemma Kingswell, I do all the talking, and this is Alan Trevette.

Why the Narch Buffet?

We couldn't decide on a name, and Alan picked up on the way local people say Norwich round here · "Narch"! Buffet comes from Alan Partridge- "is the buffet free for all?" We thought that described our show well, as it is a bit of a free for all.

Is there anything else that goes on between you two In the studio?

No, we're just friends! AI an says he wouldn't let me fancy him!

He always has to hear about my LCR random pulls in the three minutes when the music is on!

What's lt like getting up after LCR? it's alright actually. Both of us usually have hangovers, but it means we can sympathise with the listeners!

December 1 5.50 BBC1 After the MTV Europe Music Awards, another awards show is upon us. This is the first Top of the Pops Awards, which are voted for by the public. No doubt, a large number of the voters will be young kids, running up huge phone bills to vote for Westlife and co.

Kylie, the girl of the moment, is up for three awards and, after all the hype, should expect to win at least one of them, such as Top Pop Act. As everyone also loves Destiny's Child at the moment, they'll probably win one of the two awards· that they are nominated for. However, seeing as Craig David won Best R&B at the MTV awards, he could pip Destiny's Child to the post for Top R&B. Best Dance Act will not, unfortunately, go to a quality dance act like the Gorillaz or the Avalanches since, despite wins at the EMA, are not nominated here. This award is likely to be won by a cheesy act such as the So Solid Crew. As for the ceremony itself, Lulu and Mel B & Max Beesley are all lined up to present awards. Nelly Furtardo and Kylie are all appearing with Jennifer Lopez as the guest of honour. That'll mean that all the other acts will have to change their outfits in the backstage toilets so that J-Lo can have all the dressing rooms to herself. So if you want plenty of pop that is both cheesy and quality, the Top of the Pops Awards is for you.

Charlotte Gane

Wednesday, November 28. 2001

@ven~ ,. t

' -•

20 Arts

Theatre Review:

The

.,

V'\

r'f

Maddermarket

Pinter's study of masculinity is one of those plays that leaves little room for interpretation and manipulation: the script virtua lly directs the play itself. However, this production of The Homecoming manages to take its ow n defin itive ang le on the text without undermining any of t he pl ay's subt lety.

The plot revolves around the relationship between Max, a bitter man in his late 60s, his sons, Lenny and Joey, and his brother Sam, who all live together, despite all members of the household being middle to old aged . The balance of th is all-male fam ily is shat t ered, however, when Teddy ( Max 路 oldest son) returns home on a visit from America, where he has been living for the past six years, bringing with him his wife, Ruth. The arrival of a female entity into the house stirs up the already volatile atmosphere, and Rut h gradually begins to take contro l over the household, asserti ng her sex uality in a way th at leads to a disturb ing climax.

Of course the real power of the play is not in the dialogue itself but in what is not said. Pinter's plays are more often than not filled with subtext, and The Homecoming is no exception: who/what was Max 's late wife? Is Lenny rea lly such a tough guy? Are Teddy and Ruth really married? Such subtleties can be difficult to get right on stage and the Maddermarket production occasionally overstepped the mark in trying to convey the subtext. But, in general, the acting was very good- in particular.

Vince Had ley as Max, who excellent ly captured the character's inherent violence whil st manag ing t o put ac ross an air of vulnerability. The cast ing was also spot on . Interest ing ly so, since many of the ac tors were five to ten years older than suggested in the original script, yet none of the raw sexuality that the play requires was lost.

Overall, an enjoyable performance. If you don't mind the ... pauses, that is.

Mark/and Starkle

...

Book Review:

A Christmes Caro~ Pretext路 Havoc Theatre Royal Pen & Inc Theatre Review:

Initially, when faced with a volume of poems, stories and critical essays from a university publisher, you would be forgiven for a little wariness. Let's make this clear: this is not pretentious crap by academics for academics. That's not to say, of course, it's in any way second rate. The Pretext editors have chosen a select ion that wa lks a fine line, t aking in engaging, intelligent ideas without fal ling into the trap of co llect ing dull, intellectual elitism.

In his introduction, Ashley Stokes talks about the theme of Havoc: 'We are living in a state where anything can happen ... Everything now seems vu lnerable. Everything seems fragile.路 In light of recent events, Stokes considers how the title of the vo lume has taken on new meaning . He says he doesn't want to write at all, that there are more important things to do. This may not seem like a likely introduction to a book but it's refreshing.

So what's so good about it then? Well, there's the leader piece.

by Danish film director Lars Von Trier. The Dogme director writes a film diary from the making of The Idiots. a gritty and at times humorous account. Peter Holm-Jensen translated the piece into English and the language is superb: colourful and colloquial. I also particularly liked George Szirtes poetry. The rhyme structures were some of the best I've seen for a while.

Nothing like a bit of rhyme to excite a performer like myself, but what really impressed me was the frankness of the account: Nostalgia is the poem so many people I know have been trying to write for ages. Other highl ights include Lawrence Norfolk's essay 'Speech of the Weather:' Writers in Transit, Clare Birchall's In the Shade and Ronan Bennett's extract from his novel in progress, also called Havoc. My advice is to check Luke Wr/ght out this collection and its predecessors.

event

When Charles Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol, he thought it "a whimsical sort of masque intended to awaken loving and forbearing thoughts." Perhaps, then, the concept of making it into a musical is a dubious one? Visions of Scrooge bursting into song really is something that only the Muppets could pull off.

Clearly, though, the Vanessa Ford production realised this, subtlety adding meanness to Scrooge's character by having him abhor singing.

Eric Richard, better known for his role as Sargeant Bob Cryer in The Bill, was convincing as Scrooge. Yet he didn't seem to bring as much mean-spi ritedness to the role as ot her actors have done, making his transformation at the end less effective.

Indeed at times he was even amusing, especially in his bloodred night robe, complete with matching cap. The star of the show was Steve Edwin, who used just the right balance of fear, kindness and energy to bring Bob Cratchit to life.

Essentially this was a family performance, with the three ghosts not really evoking fear in the audience. Indeed, the Ghost of Christmas yet-to-come is supposed to be really terrifying , representing death. Yet this ghost, having acknowledged Scrooge路s promise to change his ways, npped off his hooded suit, showing himself to be a well-dressed fellow, and proceeded to burst into song with Scrooge and the rest of the cast.

Overall, the cast never really looked in control. They seemed to JUSt read Dickens' lines, rather than convincing the audience of their value. Not even the fantastrc set design by David Shields could save them.

Yet perhaps the real problem was just its timing. Being performed in mid-November meant that the audience just wasn't feeling in the Christmas mood to appreciate its full potential.

Perhaps the same applied to the cast.

Charlotte Ronalds

Wednesday, November 28, 2001

Gre:a e Theatre Review:

Theatre Roya 1

Someone once tried to determine why American musicals were so successful, concluding that wit, eternal optimism and energy were the main points. Yet after watching Grease, it seems that one was left out: harmless sex appeal. lt is not often that an audience claps before a performance begins, or that the band come out weari ng pink j ackets and shaki ng their sexy thang.

But then Grease really isn't just another musical. Right from the start it was clear that it was going to be a superior performance. The sets were fantastic, the 50s pop culture was buzzing, and the cast, well, for them it seemed more like fun than work. What makes Grease a classic -aside from its songs - is its humour. The diversity of the audience testified that it does not set out to offend, but rather to entertain. Craig Urani was fantastic as the hip Danny Z uko, in love with Sandy, yet equally as concerned with the stiffness of his quiff. Haley Flaherty was equally enjoyable as Sandy, complete with annoyingly-angelic singing vo ice. But of course the best character is Rizzo, with her feisty temperament and lust for men. And it was clear that Nina French was loving every minute of it.

The best thing about the performance, though, was the enthusiasm of the cast . In one scene, three male backing singers leapt out of the showers wearing nothing but the skimpiest of towels and proceeded to rub themselves down, whilst singing into golden shower heads.

The cast also fed off the audience's energy, with Danny's rather pert posterior wiggling a bit more for the masses; the audience showed their gratitude. Overall the performance was just one thoroughly enjoyable party, with hairspray, grease and big skirts.

The programme also came with useful 50s terminology, including 'foam domes'. Any guesses?

Charlotte Ronalds

.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

- -- -- --

Arts 21

Best of the Rest:

Music Review: The Herbert

gets a bit nasty after that. But fear not if you're at home over the hots, the theatre is keeping it on until unl starts up again .

Aw, bless.

The Sleeping Beauty

Spl i ffi nton All Stars East Coast Jazz Festival Norwich Arts Centre Expectations for this event were low; 'All Stars' more often than not denotes 'no stars' and this, coupled with the marijuana image that the group seem to be going for, gave the impression of a cheesy reggae band .

The pianist was introduced as 'All the way from Lowestoft .. .' which only increased suspicions, but he more than made up for it with his musical talent. Satch Dixon, an extremely charismatic front-man and percussionist. brought the show to life. Billed as having played with Marley, Dixon vaguely resembled George Lucas' Yoda as he hunched behind his congas grinning.

Kicking off with a reggae style 12 bar blues it became apparent that 'Spliffington' and all his stars were not going to churn out stale, cheesy reggae but a highly entertaining blend of ska and various other influences.

Second was an upbeat rendition of Down by the Riverside before moving into a more eclectic set including There Ain't Nobody Here But Us Chickens (Witney/ Kramer), Dave Brubeck 's Take Five and the popular classic My Boy Lol/ypop all played in a Caribbean style.

The set was given a musical and visual lift by Dixon's right hand man, known only to the audience as Rudy. Tall, black, bald and looking faintly like Hot Chocolate's Errol Brown, he was quite simply the coolest musician . Ever. Playing his sax deftly with his shoulders raised and arms glued to his side, always grooving rigidly, it was easy for the audience to feel as if it was in the presence of a legend.

As part of the East Coast Jazz Festival this was an excellent example of the quality acts that come to Norwich.

Get in quick at the festival ends December 9.

Will Benthall

Theatre Royal November 26-December 1

The St Petersburg Ballet returns, bringing with it a brand new production of Tchaikovsky 's masterpiece. Based on Perrault's fairy tale, Le Belle au Bois Dormant, the performance tells the romantic tale of Princess Aurora, cursed at birth by the evil Carbosse to sleep for 100 years until she is finally rescued by her handsome prince. Aw . With emotive music , a stunning backdrop and choreography to match, this looks set to be a preChristmas sell out .

A read la Nelson Court Common Room B December 8-9, 2.00pmj 8.00pm The Drama Soc puts on a free performance of Tom Stoppards

play about p1geons, sex and literature.

Snowwhlte and the Seven Dwarfs Maddermarket December 16 - January 2

The Deep Blue Sea Drama Society, St. Gregory 's Art Centre November 28-30

Written by Terence Rattigan, the play is a stark and occasionally bleak realism about a woman fighting her past. Thankfully the play only contains subtlety and humour, and not a shark in sight. Phew .

;.

Opting for the more conservative fairy story, the Maddermarket is dealing with height-i mpaired men and talking mirrors. All good fun .

Complied by Charlotte Ronalds

A Midsummer Night's Dream Minotaur, Drama studio December 6-9

Not the most Christmassy of Shakespeare's plays, but one that should lift some essay-writing blues. Hopefully .

Aladdln Norwich Playhouse December 12-23

Journey to the mystical orient with the annual playhouse panto.

Containing "spectacular costumes, side-splitting slapstick and mind-boggling action" it aims to push the boundaries of panto .

Not a hard thing to do, though, really .

Mother Goose Theatre Royal December 20-January 20

Believed to be East Anglia's biggest and best traditional pantomime, the plot tells of old Mother Goose acquiring a real goose, Prise ilia, who just happens to lay golden eggs. lt all

FLEXIHIRE

-

VACANCIES PART TIME / WEEKENDS

NEED EXTRA CASH FOR CHRISTMAS? GOOD RATES OF PAY FROM £4.20 TO £8.40 PER HOUR GUARANTEED. WORKING IN ONE OF NORFOLKS LEADING VEGETABLE PROCESSING FACTORIES. HOURS TO SUIT EVERYONE. NO HIDDEN AGENCY COSTS. OVERTIME PAID FOR WEEKENDS. TRANSPORT AVAILABLE FROM MOST AREAS.

CALL US ~()W TO RESERVE YOUR PLACEMENT.

TRANSPORT PROVIDED FROlVJ NORWICH

~

AND 1WANY OTHER /l.REAS .

FLEXIHIRE

CONTACT KAREN ON FREEPHONE 0800 1699 731 OFFICE OPENING HOURS 9AM UNTIL 5PM MON-FRI

~

ALSO CONTACT US ON KAZ@FLEXIHIRE.CO.UK

Wednesday. November 28.

200l_ev.ent

Livewire Schedule: Monday: 8-lOam: The 8 foot Pigeon Show lOam - 12pm: Monday Brunch 12-2pm: The Lunchbox 2-4pm: Perrito Cal iente 4-6pm: The lan & Joe Show 6-8pm: B.E.A .T.S. 8-lOpm: Shadow Cabinet lOpm - 12am: D 'n' B

Tuesday: 8-lOam:_The Little Chicken lOam - 12pm: The Outsiders 12-2pm: Steven Rolfe 2-4pm: Ben and Jonny 's Radio Show 4-6pm: Welcome to 12 Monkeys 6-8pm: At Large ... with Dan and Craig 8-lOpm: Daydream Nation lOpm - 12am: Flying Home ;~

Wednesday: 8-lOam: The Little Chicken lOam - 12pm: Choose or Die! 12-2pm: Milk and Cookies 2-4pm: The Untitled Show 4-6pm: The Good B.J. Guide 6-?pm: The Creeper 路n Mama 9-lOpm: Evening Please (Evening ... ) lOpm- 12am: Tea with the Vic ar

-

Thursday: 8-lOam : Col 's Show lOam - 12pm: Cheese!

12-2pm: The M agical Myst ery Tour 2-4pm: Ally B in t ile Afternoon 4-6pm: Vanish ing Poi nt 6-8pm: The Mental Institute 8-lOpm: Rebel Lion Roots 10pm-12am: Poetic License

Friday: 8-lOam: The 8 foot Pigeon Show 10am-12pm : The Narch Buffet 12-2pm: Tasti 2-4pm: The Musical Excursions 4-6pm: James 6-8pm: The Rock Show 8-lOpm : Fusion Latina 10pm-12am: Underground Sessions 10pm-12am: Mr. Meaner

Saturday: 9-llam: Mark Boutros llam-lpm: Dancing Round the Borders of the Curfew 1-3pm: The Jam Norman Show 3-5pm: The Groove Bus 5-?pm: Sports Frenzy 9pm-12am: T_S_N Drum and Bass

Sunday: 9-llam: Madge and Julia Go Shopping llam-lpm: Good to You. Good for You 1-3pm: Sunday Review 3-5pm: Not Simon Mayo 5-?pm: New Music 9pm-12am: Turntable Society

The Di rectory: ABC Taxis All Star Taxis Beeline Taxis Bettacar Taxis Five Star Taxis Loyal Taxis

01603 01603 01603 01603 01603 01603

666333 744444 767676 747474 455555 619619

Canary Cue Club Cinema City Hy 's Ikon Liquid Mad&ermarket Theatre Mojo's Manhattans Norwich Arts Centre Norwich Playhouse Po Na Na's Ster Century Theatre Royal The Loft The Waterfront Tourist Information Time UEA Studio UCI UEA Union Ents

01603 627478 01603 622047 01603 621155 01603 621541 01603 611113 01603 620917 01603 622533 01603 629060 01603 660352 01603 598598 01603 619961 01603 221900 01603 630000 01603 623559 01603 632717 01603 666071 0870 6078463 01603 592272 0870 0102030 01603 508050

..

~---------.--~~----.---~------~-- -.~--------------------------------~--------~------------------------------ --------------- -- -- - -

•

23

•

lS 1n Film: Campus All films start at 8.30 pm and are shown in Lecture Theatre One

Rush Hour 2 Thursday. November 29 Intimacy Friday . November 30 Last Resort Tuesday, December 4 Jurasslc Park 3 Thursday. December 6 Lucky Break Friday, December 7 Together Tuesday, December 11

Kiss Of The Dragon UCI Fri-Thu Legally Blonde UCI Fri-Thu Ster Century Mon-Thu Mulholland Drive Cinema City Dec 8 2.30 Moulln Rouge UCI Fri-Thu Ster Century Mon-Thu The Animal UCI Fri-Thu Ster Century Mon-Thu

Thursdays They Might Be Giants Waterfront November 29 £10

Wednesdays

Delirious?

Waterfront December 6 £10

Superfly Mojos Funk and hip-hop £3

Heart 'n' Soul Christmas Disco Norwich Arts Centre December 6 £3

Meltln' Pot The Alibi Jau, funk and soul

The Ring Cmema City Dec 11 8.15

Anathema + Aereogramme Waterfront December 13

The Man Who Wasn't There UCI Mon-Thu

£8

The Piano Teacher Cinema City 28111 5.30, 291115.30 The Others UCI Fn-Thu Ster Century Mon-Thu

The Grlnch Wednesday, December 12

lubs

The Jones Project Norwich Arts Centre December 13 £6 1 £5 concessions

Fridays Wombat Wombat Norwich Arts Centre November 30 £5 Advance

£3 Hot Ikon Pop and commeric al dance £4 b411pm Marvel 1 Gas Station The Loft Hip hop, funk £3 b4 11pm, £4 after.

Gorgeous Manhattans Hardhouse and Trance £5 b411pm

Jitterbug I Jam Po Na Na Funky drum'n'bass 1 house Free b4 10pm, £2 after

Saturdays

Flockln' Sheep Ikon Charts and Cheese £2 b4 11pm

Meltdown The Waterfront lndie

£41£3

WeRK Manhattans

Thursdays

Satisfaction Hys House and Swing

Music:

The Damned Waterfront November 30 £10

70s Night Hys Retro £2 (NUS)

Status The Concept Chart and retro £3 b4 11pm, £3.50 after

Isotonic Kafe Da Progressive trance and house Free

Refresh Ikon £5 b411pm

Wednesdays

Canned Heat, Kursaal Flyers, Dr. Feelgood and John Otway UEA December 7 £15

American Pie 2 Ster Century Mon-Thu

Dreadzone + Dubwlser DJ 's Waterfront November 28

Bruce Lacey's Vox Humana 2 Norwich Arts Centre December 14 £6 I £4 concessions

America 's Sweethearts UCI Fri-Thu Ster Century Mon-Thu

£8.50

The Parole Officer Thursday. December 13

i ty Amelle UCI Fri-Thu A Space Odyssey Cinema City Nov 28, 2.30pm

Dark Blue World Cinema City Dec 9 7.30 Ghost In The Shell Cinema City 1112 5.45 Ghost World UCI Fri-Thu Harry Potter UCI Fri-Thu Ster Century Mon-Thu Jeepers Creepers UCI Fri-Thu

Bassment MOJOS

Sundays LA Doors Waterfront December 2

Brotherhood Of The Wolf Cmema City Nov 28 8.15, Nov 29 2.30 & 8.15, Nov 30 8.15, Dec 3 2.30 & 8.15, Dec 4 2.30 & 5.30, Dec 5 5.30, Dec 6 5.30

Dr Dollttle 2 UCI Sat Sun 11.00

Butter Me Up 1 Underdog Po Na Na Funky house 1 jau beats £3 after 9pm

R'n'B and hip hop

Alantls UCI Fri-Thu

Cats & Dogs UCI Sat-Sun 12.30

Saturday Rewind Mojos Chart, dance, garage

Spank Time House £1 b4 11pm (NUS)

£81£7

Mondays So Solid Crew UEA December 5 £14

Bluetones UEA December 3 £12.50

Jazz Funk & Blues Jam Norw1ch Arts Centre December 5 £2 (Mus1cian Free)

Devln Townsend Waterfront December 3

Saw doctors UEA December 12 £15 Amanda Nelson & Rick Sheppard Norwich Arts Centre December 12 £3.50 I £3 concessions

£8 Slade UEA December 10 £151£10 Tuesday Bjom Again UEA December 4 £14

Twisted Skunk 1 Bottom Heavy Po Na Na Discofide Breakbeat 1 funky breaks and beats and Latin grooves.

Free b4 10pm, £2 after.

The LCR disco LCR (duh) £3

Sundays

Arts: Theatre The Homecoming Maddermarket Wed Nov 28 - Sat Dec 1 7.30pm A Christmas Carol Theatre Royal Wed Nov 28 - Sat Dec 17 7.30pm The Sleeping Beauty Theat re Royal Wed Nov 28- Sat Dec 1 7 .30pm, plus mats Wed and Sat 2.30pm Mother Goose Theatre Royal Thu Dec 20 - Sun Jan 20 7.30pm with selected mats 2.30pm

MlSC.

Sunday Service Manhattans £2.50

Mondays Flockln' Sheep Ikon Charts and commerc ial dance £2 b4 11pm

Charty Handbaggy The Loft Gay night DJs Bedfords Crypt Deep tech tribal house Free entry

Fridays Delirium The Concept House, garage and R n' B. Hy Times Hys Dance anthems

Fluid Liquid (VIP Room) Dec 4 Members only. Email fluid@digitalnug htmares.co.uk for membership Drum'n'bass, breaks, hip hop

Elegance Mojos R n' B Parkslde Po Na Na House Free b4 9pm, £3 after.

DJ Jam Hys Charts and Dance £1

Club anthems Free with student ID. Ufe Time Commercial dance £ 1 (NUS)

Underground Mojos Lo-fi and non-commerical lndie £2.50 (NUS) Play Po Na Na Disco. funk Free

Tuesdays Funk Friction Owens cafe Bar Slinky Hys

Met and Sue Playhouse Wed Nov 28 Comedy

£10 Cllve James Monday Dec 3 UEA LT1 £2.50 (NUS) TVP

Arts Centre Tues Dec 11 8.00pm Spoken Word

Wednesday, November 28, 200

event

•

•

IVE ON STAGE AT 8.

I

ANS

";...

I I

•

Come to Brannigans to see the icons in all their glory!

VK

---FA,------SPONSORED BY

Ev

bott ~ valid 3/ 2/0 l 14 1Opm • 1 p r person

••• ALSO INClUDING BOnlES OF BECKS