The Event - Issue 135 -13 February 2002 by Concrete - the official student newspaper of UEA.

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Wednesday, February 13, 2002

Hardcore Action Inside!!

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Plus: Interviews// DJ Spoony, Esther Freud, Jimmy Eat World Features// How to write a Mills & Boon novel Reviews// Oceans 11, Jewel, Hamlet and more

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Inside: 03 Bits and Pieces Round up: this week the threatened return of Oasts.

Plus. a chance to wtn a selection of texts. a bottle of champage and a big box of chocolates

04 Po rn The Event g1ves you a comprehenstve guide to the world of pornography. from the classic retro-chic of Deep Throat to today's top five porn stars. Enjoy'

Knowledge Mtles Davts

Inquisitor Halo

06 DJ Spoony We talk to the Radio One garage DJ and member of the Dreem Team.

07 Esther Freud The author of Hideous Kinky talks to The Event about her latest novel, The Wild. and acting in Or Who. ·

08 Live & Spliffing

it seems that lately. more and more children's TV presenters are being exposed for the dtrty tndiv tduals they are. We take a look at the bad and the ugly.

Cinefile Rush more

10 Movie Rumours The Event ·sown statestde cntic tells 1t like it is in Hollyw ood at the moment.

11 Jimmy Eat World The Event talk to the emo rockers about why they're not just another bun ch of angst ridden rock star wannabes.

12 Mills & Boon Ever fancted yourself as a budding romance noveltst ? Well. look no furt her! The Event presents you wtth a comprehensive guide to wnttng Mills & Boon novels, w tth adv ice from the experts. Are we serious? Read on to find out .

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Re 1ews: 14 Albums/Live

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VALENTINE'S

Jewel: Clinic: The Streets: NME Tour

15 Singles lan Brown: Timo Maas: A: Natal ie lmbruglta; Depec he Mode

16 Film

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18 Video

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22 Listings

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NIGHT

Oceans 11: A Beautiful Mind; Monsters Inc.

Southwest 9: Dead Bolt Dead

19 TV/Radio Because You 're Wart 11 lt; Horizon ; Smile; Soaps; Meet the DJ

20 Arts Hamlet; The Hobblt; AI Sea Exhibition: The Body Exhtbttion

Listings: The best guide to what's happening tn Norwich

Come dressed in your favourite emergency gear and join the Owen's crowd for the usual unpredictable night of fun and games.

PRIZE FOR SEXIEST LADY C) · PRIZE FOR BEST DRESSED BLOKE

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Editor-In-Chief · Adam Chapman • Editor · Markland Starkie • Arts Editor · Charlotte Ronalds • Film Editor · Merek Cooper • Assistant Film Editor · Phil Col vin • Music Editor · Anthony Lovell • Assistant Music Editor · Kieren McSweeney • TV/ Radio Editor · Liz Hutchlnson • Assistant TV/ Radlo Editor · Gemma O'Donnell Picture Editor · Ed Webblngall Text · Amy Bennett · Paul Booth · Catherine Bowe · Petur Clement · Dan Hutchlngs · Britt Juste • Sarah Kately · Toby Lewis · Rachel McDowall · Mlscha Pearlman · Kieran Pierson · Ed Purkis · Carolyn Sainsbury · Matt Sargeson • Joel Turner · Mark Wheeler · Gemma Whitfield · Luke Wrlght Photos · Clalre Burwell · Vlkki Shaw · Gemma Waters

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The Event is published fortnightly by Concrete: Po st: PO Bo x 410. Norw i eh, NR4 7TB Tel : 01603 250558 Fax : 01603 506822 E- mail: su.concrete@uea.ac.uk Printed by: Eastern Counties Newspapers. St Andrew' s Business Park. Norwi eh

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tlnd l?ieces 03

Competitions •• Champagne, chocolates and a selection of Very Short Introduction texts

'"' activate.co.uk /1!.,

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YOU" careers andjobs website.

Oxford University Press are adding several new titles to their popular Very Short Introductions series. There are currently 54 titles, ranging from Descartes to animal rights to 20th Century Britain, and the new titles will be in the shops from February onwards. To celebrate t he release of the new books, OUP are giving away a selection of 15 books from the series- very usefu l if your Compulsory Reading List budget is running low. To win these books, just answer the following question:

This February, Sparky from activate.co.uk is seeking a Valentine from UEA. Sparky would like to meet any student who has a good sense of humour and is seeking employment - long term, short term, full or part-time. Activate.co.uk is the leading website for students seeking employment and takes the strain out of job hunting. Activate.co.uk has thousands of opportunities for immediate employment, graduate programmes, part-time jobs and placements. Features on the site include: • Job Agents- a service that emails you vacancies matching your job requirements • e-jobs- a monthly email newsletter with job hunting tips and a round up of the immediate vacancies available • CV Builder- create your CV online, add amendments when you need to • CV Agent- allows activate.co.uk recruiters to search through your CV details as part of their candidate selection process To celebrate Valentine's Day activate.co.uk are giving away a free bottle of champagne and a nice big box of chocolates to one lucky Event reader. To win just answer the following question:

Seven foot one eyed Individual WLTM students with GSOH for great career opportunities ...

• Answers to both competitions should be emailed to su.concrete@uea.ac.uk or brought to the Concrete Office (upstairs in Union House next to Room 1.33), with your name, contact details and favourite colour.

Q. On what day does Valentine 's Day fall this year?

Round up h, February, the Brits, Brats, spring tours, festival rumours and forthcoming albums. it's usually in February that the summer's biggest indie hit is being played on the Evening Session for the first few times. it's usually in February that the year's best new band are having that break-through London gig; the first single is being pressed and a few smug indie kids are already telling their mates that they "saw 'em a couple of years ago· when they had a different drummer and an edgier sound. Yes, February: a month of new beginnings, when the January hangover is finally gone and it feels normal to write the date again. But what stuck me this week wasn't the NM£/Carling Tour, nor the first whiff of the Glasto line-up. No, it was Oasis. The band's spokesman announced that Uam had finally got the rest of his vocals done after a five month delay (how can you delay the making of a rock and roll record for five months!??) and that the not-so-eagerly-awaited fifth album, entitled Heathen Chemistry (one of those silly titles that sounds good but doesn't really mean anything) will be out in the next few months. So, even though the last album sounded like a Walkman running out of batteries, they still earned themselves a mention on the NME front cover and a leading news story. lt"s 2002, Oasis were hip eight years ago, they had started to lose 1t five years ago, why should we care any more? One forgets Noel and Liam are in a band at all, like the former AII-Samts they have become nothing more than an ugly face in Heat magazine. And talking of heat, doesn't everyone just wanna be out of the oas1s and into the desert again, so to speak? Even my mum thinks Oasis are 'old hat.' Nobody cares, but they 're always gonna be there; a great Bntish land-

Q. Complete the famous quotation by Descartes: "I think, therefore ... "

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mark. We'll never get totally bored of Oasis. They were so famous, they were so the biggest thing in the world that we can never totally rid ourselves of them. Like Margaret Thatcher they will linger for evermore, a reminder of the mistakes we made, a reminder of how silly the world can be made to look in retrospective. But maybe, for some of us, they will remain for evermore because without them the stepping stone onto the band wagon might not have drifted down our way. because the back door into the music world might not have been so glaringly obvious, and we just might be holding out for another Live Forever. Eight years ago they were the next big thing waiting to happen and right now some other scrappy haired youth is probably singrng "tonight I'm a rock 'n' roll star". Will 2002 bear another Oasis? To be honest, I wouldn't be complaining if it did.

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Knowledge:

no. 58

Miles Davis To tie in with our annual sex survey, The Event presents a porn ex ravaganza. And with ~% of you it'll several times a admitting to mastub handy indeed. Text: probably come in

How did the legend begin? Miles Dewey Dav is, j azz innovat or and one of th e g reatest musicia ns of til e 20t h century, was born in 1926 . His magical w ay with a trumpet caused a stir at a young age, wi t h a job offer before he left high sc hool. The prodig y of Charlie 'Bird' Parker in New York. he hooked up with co mposer Gi l Evans and recorded what w as t o be known as 'Th e Bi rth of the Cool' in the late 40s and early 50s. Opposed t o the B1g Band Swing and vocal1zed jazz around at t he ti me, Mi les and h1s peers stood for improvisati on and innovation, constantly establi shing a sound on ly to remould 1t every few yea rs. Did he have an individual style? Asi de fro m hi s role as com poser, Mil es had a distin ct t rumpet ing st yle . Ch oosing t o inco rporat e modes rather t han standard c hord cha nges, M iles empl oyed unusual but sk ilful t imi ng. and a variety to the co lour of vo ice and pit ch result· mg 1n a warm . mt1mate sound . But words do no j ustice to desc ribing Miles· sound : 1t has t o be fe lt. Miles really created moods and conveyed emotion al st at es with his horn. at times sounding like a voca li sati on of hi s sou l.

FAR DOES A GIRL HAVE TO GO TO UNTANGLE HER nNGLE? EASTMANCOLOR {g) ADULTS ONLY

Was it true the improvisation sessions were often a source of conflict? Dependi ng on restraint and group th ink ing, freeform jazz coul d result in heated com peti ti on . A qu arrel between Davis and Thelon ious M onk can be heard on M odern Jazz Gian ts an d Bag's Groo ve w ith Monk hurl ing piano lines aggressi vely at Mi les following an argu men t prior to recording. Why the acclaim for innovation? Aside from the earl1er 1mprov1sation M1les played orchestral works such as Gershwin's Porgy and Bess and the Afro-Latm Sketches of Spam. The exotic and provocative moods of the latter was innovative. but what rea ll y shocked t he music scene m 1970 was t he drug-fuelled sexual ex plosion of BHches Brew. Named after the women whom mfluenced the musicians. the record was made to save jazz from the com pet ition of pop. What emerged was experimentation with electric organs. gu1tar and rock rhythms. resultmg in a psychedelic and intense record . Funk was born. Was Davis just a great musician? Far from it. Th1s man was a good art1st all round. In 1988 he created a series of abstract paintings msp1red by the M1lan· based des1gn movement Memphis. The movement was known for its hot colours and c lashmg shapes . closely resembling a postmodern1st sty le. As a supplement to h1s art. Miles wore dazzlingly coloured clothing, breathing more l1fe into l11s live shows. More than just background music for dinner parties then? Even h1s sultry earlier recordmgs are provocative. but records like BHches Brew are definitely not for the back ground . Unless you're havmg a dmner orgy, t11at is ..

Ed Purkis

It brought porn into the mainstream in the '70s, but has it stood the test of time? The Event revisits Deep Throat 30 years on.

or those of yo u wllo t ll1n k that Deep Throat is somet hi ng t. o do wi th Ni x on and W. aterga te. t hen think again . Deep Throat is one of t he most notorious and famous porn f1lms from the 1970s. Causing a huge stir when it came out in 1972 . and desp1te many legal challenges to try and ban 1t, Deep Throat went on to change the face of the porn mdustry and even now 11 is still hugely popu lar in America. I got hold of a co py and decided t o find out why . The bas1c story li ne is as fli msy as Linda's underwear: a frustrat ed housewife who can't ac hieve an orgasm t hat really "rings bells". decides to go to Dr Young. a gynaecologist. for help. To her surprise he d1scovers that ller cl1tor~s is in her throat, and kindly teaches her how to reach 1t. After his miracu lous 'treatment' she starts to work w1th h1m as a "nurse". The rest of the film shows Llnda "nursmg" her pat1ents. In short. a bad story line to matc l1 the bad act1ng Tile first thing to mention is the mus1c: the sound track sounds l1ke an appalling selection of cabaret songs from Butlins. c~rca 1978. Showcasing such songs as Deep Throat, Deeper than Deep your Throat and I'd L1ke eo Teach the World to Screw. the soundtrack does. however. conv1enent1y deflect attent1on from t11e ha1rstyles and mcred1bly bad act1ng. Along w1th the mus1c comes reel after reel of split screen action, and as the numerous '70s perms crowd the screen. it can somet1mes be difficult

to work out w l1ich part of t he body the camera is showing. Also, w111 le 1t may be refresh ing to see ·nat ura l ' actresses, as opposed to today's silicon induced models. the stars were obv1 ously at the back of the Ime when good looks and talent were handed out. As for the supposedly notor~ous sex scenes. I have seen more racy examples on German terrestnal television. The sp1lt screen effect seems to be generall y employed to hide the fact that the camera shows practically nothing. While Deep Throat may llave been cons1dered shocking at the time, by today's standards 11 ·s just tame. The problem w1th Deep Throat was that it was trying to cross over from porn mto art ... and failed. The film 1S laugh ble and can't be taken seriously. which may be a good thmg. So. 1f anyone fanc1es a qu1ck porno. don't opt for Deep Throat. lt may be hugely famous. but qu1te frankly 1t's crap. As a fnend once told me. if it were a pen1s. 1t definitely shou ldn't be taken too deeply . Some of the most memorable lines in the film: "Do you mmd if I smoke wh1le you're eatmg" "There's got to be more to life than screw1ng around" "What's a JOint like thiS doing in a g1rl l1ke you?" ''I'm only four 1nches away from happmess" "The End .... and Deep Throat to you all 1"

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Never seen a porn film? Don't worry, here at The Event we actually believe you. And so, to help the uninitiated out there, we present our top five legendary porn stars. Text: Petur Clement 1. Ron Jeremy For a man. whose nickname is 'The Hedgehog · (a nocturnal worm-eating creature with whom he is said to resemble), Ron Jeremy has had a serious amount of poon-t ang. In fact , no one is sure how many women he has banked, but connoisseurs of porn believe the number to top 3000. Before moving into porn in the early 80s, he had an unglamorous career m teaching, but when his then-girlfriend sent nude pictures to Playgirl, he made his trademark persona as 'the guy next door' ('with a very large penis'). 20 years later, after appearing in porn-fests sucH as Bone Alone. Frankenpenis, California Reaming, Texas Dildo Massacre, and so on, he is still gomg strong. Lately he has started a legitimate film-career ( Orgasmo, Ronin).

• •

In her best-selling book. Ordeal, Lovelace cla1med that she was forced to perform in Deep Throat, and she has since become an icon for ant1-porn feminists. 3. Rocco Slffredi When Rocco Siffredi was nine, he started masturbatmg. When he was 17, he knew that he was gomg to be a porn star. When he . . . .~~JP ~._"'"!"'--I was 21, and appearing in his first porn film, he was so excited, that he had to masturbate before he went in front of the camera. 600 porn flicks and 3000 girls later, Rocco 1s still banging away . He is mostly known for h1s work in the porn cult series, Buttman _"-..1 (whose t1tles include

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Buttman's European Vacation, Buttman's Bend Over Babes, Vivid Bloopers and Boners. etc. etc.). He appeared in the mam-

on the up, in the chair

The Female Position: According to Darren Lavery of Adult DVDs and Videos, "over the past few years we have seen a growth of approximately 62% in female customers." So are women really becoming more interested in porn? I went onto The Street and asked some girls if they would ever consider watching a porn movie, and why. "No" laughed Katri Randelin EAS1, "lt is so fake, they all fake their orgasms.· "I've watched one before, and I might again .. .l don't know though. I don't find them much of a turn on· Anon SOC "I don't watch them, I make them· according to " Barberella" EAS Some of the guys had a similar response. "I'm not really into porn, I'd only watch it if I was very drunk and with some friends" Seb CHE1 Luke Pearson from DEV 1 said that "I would definitely watch a porn movie. They are hilarious, so detached from reality.·

stream but sexually explicit French film Romance, because no other male actor could 'perform ' 1n front of the camera. H1s 'speciality' is too gross to include in this review. 4. John Holmes One cannot mention porn without including the serial shagger John Holmes whose tragic life was portrayed Boogie Nights. His penis measured a full 13"! He got his big break when a producer persuaded him to pose for a nude. Soon afterward he had a successful career in porn. He reached the height of his career 1n the late '60s and early '70s . After a while, due to the mtense pressure of having sex all the t1me, he started to take drugs and ..__ _... had to resort to male prosti-

2. llnda Lovelace Despite that she has only done a combined five hours of porn, Linda Lovelace is one of the most famous porn-actresses of all time. She starred in Deep Throat as an insatiable woman with a clitoris down her throat. Along with American Graffiti and Blair Witch Project, Deep Throat is one of the most profitable movies of all time. lt has since given name to a new (an improved) form of oral sex and a unnamed .__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.. 'Watergate ' official.

Inquisitor:

tution to maintain his drug habit. In the late 70s, he was involved in a shootmg, but cleared his name after the court acquitted him of all charges. Tragically, just as he was making a new life for himself, he contracted HIV and died of AIDS in 1988, aged 43. His now claSSIC films mclude Amazing John Holmes Trilogy, Anal Madness, China Cat and many, many, many others. He has had sex w1th over 3000 women and an unknown number of men (quite average for a porn legend). 5. Tracl Lords ~--'1!'!'!!!!!'!!,..----.

Born Nora Louise Kuzma, the infamous porn legend Traci Lords started a suc cessful career m porn at the tender age of 15. She performed in over 100 films before she was 18, making her a millionaire and a celebnty in the . . . . . process. Shortly after her 18th birthday, the FBI ~-~~~~ arrested her for being ,...._..,.. under the age of consent lfi!JI"'""""._"' when she made her movies. The porn mdustry duly feigned shock; her eo-stars claiming that they had been duped by a 15-year-old on drugs. She has smce shifted to legitimate acting and smging. In 1990, Trac1 Lords appeared in John Water's Cry Baby, opposite Johnny Depp. She even recorded a song w1th the Manic Street Preachers.

Strange but True:

Marketing School:

• Sylvester Stallone's first ever film role was in the 1970 porn movie Party at Kitty and Stud's. He earned $200 for it. • Deep Throat sells out every Christmas in America. • The writer Harlan Ellison was sacked on his first day working at the Disney Studios for suggesting porn Disney movies. He apparently acted it out for some friends, which was unfortunately overheard by Roy Disney . • Female porn stars can expect to earn thousands of pounds for starring in porn movies, whereas the men typically earn less.

Apparently more and more students are finding their way onto the web to order adult videos. Darren Lavery of Adult DVDs And Videos says that their customer base "is made up of approximately 38% students". He added that, while students were a big factor in their sales, •we do not target them directly.· He thinks that the reason for this is that "they have a better understanding of online entertainment, and the general working and operation of purchasing on the Internet.·

A heavenly aura or aural torture? The Event went to talk to Halo. How would you describe your sound? We don't really like to describe it too much, especially when we're so close to the music. I would just say it's light guitars. and hooky, melodic vocal lines. You'd just have to listen to it yourself. it's total rock! Your biography says that you're very Influenced by classic rock. That was misrepresented. We had to write out a load of stuff, and I was explaming what I used to mck from my old man's record collection! And they printed it! We listen to such a wide range of mus1c . There are a few bands that everybody in the band is mto, such as Nirvana, Radiohead , The P1xies , Grandaddy, The Cooper Temple Clause, Cowboy Dreams. But the main influence is us playing music with each other. We bounce and feed off each other creatively. How did you get signed? We sold our asses! We got a publishmg deal before we got a record deal. and that enabled us to give up our day JObs. and spend days rehearsmg. We got more songs together and started domg loads of showcases in front of loads of mdustry people who never clap and just sit there with their arms folded. There was a rumour gomg round that we 'd signed to 52, and we hadn't. So they came and heard us, and they liked us enough to sign us up. Where would you like your debut single to take you? We'd like to build a good fanbase, who will come and watch us live. really. We'd like to be able to sell out medium sized venues. If the smgle could go top 40 that would be ideal for us at th1s stage. MTV have been really good to us. We were C-listed on MTV , and that means we get played 25-30 times a week. We're not quite cool or credible enough for Radio One yet. Where do you see yourselves In a year's time? We'd like our singles to do' well, for our album to be doing well, and for lots of people to know us and come to our gigs. The as-yet untitled album will be out in July. Going to Japan, going to America, and starting work on an even better second album. Still being creative and still enjoymg ourselves. We 're having the time of our lives at the moment, and we don't want it to end. lt would be nice to see people being compared to us rather than us being compared to them! Anthony Love//

Wednesday, February 13, 2002

event

The Dreem Team are fast becoming one of the most popular acts on . Radio One and with UK garage music on the up, DJ Spoony 1 s definitely a name to look out for. The secret to his success? It's all in the Text: Liz Hutchinson voice ...

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hink of a radio DJ nowadays. A far cry from the cardigan wearing men of old. spinning the disks in a t1me when DJ's were actually known as disc jockeys. Now, the Queen's English just won't do and neither will the cheesy, exaggerated voice favoured by Atlantic 252 and other commercial stations. Try a smoke induced husk, a strong northern accent or stupid noises such as 'bo', ·ay ee·, etc. Names such as Terry, Jimmy and Bruno have been replaced by Nemone. Sara and Lard. If the DJ is to have a surname, then it is usually one that can be incorporated into cockney rhyming slang. What the heck. name yourself after a kitchen implement. it certainly hasn't done any harm to DJ Spoony. I remember a time when being called a spoon was something of an insult, used for examples of extreme stupidity and followed by a strange groaning noise. Funnily enough, this kind of noise is a distinctive characteristic of the Dreem Team's Sunday morn ing show, a show with a trendy misspelling in which garage and r and b music IS Interspersed with Frank Brunoish chuckles from the trio. In fact, these were the sort of noises I heard in the background as I spoke to Spoony at his business, 'DJ's For Life'. Slightly perplexed by the noises I was hearing, I ask him exactly what his business entails. "lt looks after Dreem Team busmess, in terms of releases and stuff. We had a single out last year, it Ain't Enough with Artful Dodger but we don 't have plans to release anything else. Well, not in the immediate future. We also run a record label from here, we've got a website from here and we look after a few other artists and stuff." To say Spoony is a busy man would be an understatement. As well as running this successful business, he has also carved a very successful career DJ'ing clubs in both the UK and Europe, visiting the UEA recently for the popular Garage Nation. But it is his job as a Radio One DJ that Spoony is most well known for. For a radio DJ however, Spoony didn't appear to like ta lking too much, lets just say he ·yeah'-ed a lot. lt seems 'The Spoon' has honed this affirmative to a tee, as the sound rolled off his tongue in a Barry White style. A perfect radio voice one might say and possibly the reason why Spoony's sonorous tones have been used in count less adverts and to narrate r and b

music show, Flava on Channel Four. Teamed with this sexy voice is incredibly good looks; add this to his elusiveness and then you see quite why, despite his limited vocabulary of 'uh huh' and ·yeah', he is so appealmg. This is an appeal which has seen him nominated for bachelor of the year by Company magazme and also most shaggable DJ in 1998. But good looks is something of an unusual trait in radio DJs. which is probably why they choose the non-v1sual form of the media: take Chris Evans for example or Chris Moyles. Perhaps jealousy is the reason why the Dreem team are regularly on the recieving end of Moyles· silver tongue, who is often heard to be yo-yo-ing in the style of 'the Dreem·. So is it all smiles and hellos at Radio one then? "We get on with most of the other DJs. We've known Trevor Nelson for years." No mention of Chris. I decide to bring him up, "Yeah I know he takes the mick. that's cos he likes us, its his sign of

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Shows such as the Oreem Team Presents has raised the profile of many garage acts, an increasing number of whiCh have begun to enter the mainstream charts. One such act is the .So Solid Crew, who's UK tour was cancelled recently due to security concerns. I ask Spoony his opinion on the band, "I mean, to be honest with you, they have had a lot of good press, but of late a lot of it has been negative. I think the whole thing with the press is that they build you up and then knock you down. A lot, well, some of it has been blown out of proportion, cos Im closer to it. being l1ere at DJs For Life. you hear exactly what happened and it has not been reported quite acurately. But there is no smoke without fire ... "Hopefully, as they get older and they get more experience they will realise the things you can maybe get away with and say and the things that can't and just become a little more astute.

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it h~s siqn of' affectior. He's always joking, wnen DJ's don't bit w~rv of o~rh othPr " j')VP that moafJC trrv drt:'l affection. He's good fun, he's great ... lt appears that I haven't quite got the fat man·s humour as Spoony assures me that any slagging off is not real. "He's always joking, when·DJs don't joke with each other. that means they are a bit wary of each other. But we hammer him back as well , but you know , he's got a lot more scope to hammer us because he's got more listeners and he's got more shows." Chris Moyles should really watch his back, as the Dreem Team listening figures continue to rise steadily as garage music gains more popularity in the UK. "Yeah. it's quite busy and you know even when the station's figures have gone down, well, they've only gone down ever so slightly. But ours has kind of held on and rallied round so it's all good." So wi ll we be seeing more of the team in future then? "Yeah for as long as they are going to keep us, yeah we love it there, its good fun and it gives us a nice chance to get our music out there."

lt will be interesting to see this year, ·cos when you explode onto a scene sometimes its hard to maintain and consolidate that position. But if they do, then hats off to them." The Dreem Team are a winning combination, having been together for many years. ''I've been Dj-ing for 15 to 16 years now but professionally for four years. I started off at local youth groups, just watching my friends. That really intrigued me, so I got them to train me up. My first radio job was on a pirate radio station called London Underground, then I went to Kiss in London, Galaxy and then Radio One. The Dreem Team have been together for five years now, I met them on the pirate radio actually, we have a few barneys now and again but you get that when you got people who are passionate about what they are doing. so you know." lt seems that spreading the garage gospel is at the root of Spoony's DJ-ing, a passion that he has managed to turn into a successful career, something that surely everyone dreems of.

Wednesday, February 13, 2002

~Vent

analysis •• Esther Freud's f i rst novel, Hideous Kinky, told of her own unusual upbringing. Now a mother herself, she discusses her new novel, set in East Angl i a, and why she finally feels settled. Text: Charlotte Ronalds or some people, their lives are destined to be unconventional. But, unl ike most people with such unconventional lifestyles, Esther Freud decided to write her's down , get it made into a film and have Kate Winslet star as her young, hippie mother. Having artist LlJcian Freud as her father and Sigmund Freud as her great-grandfather, writing about her bohemian upbringing in Morocco seemed something that Freud just had to do. "I was actually an actress at the time and I had a great tunnel vision about that; I wasn 't going to do anything else or even think about doing anything else," she explains in her wistful way . "But I decided that I would write everyday until I got offered a job. I felt I was becoming a slightly ungrounded, desperate person going from interview to interview , needing a job so badly. But actually I got so involved with what I was writing that when I did eventually get offered a job I didn't want to do it . With acting I had done that thing you often do when growing up, I had chosen something for myself and tried to mould myself to it, and actually I never chose writing for myself, I just did it out of pleasure." After the success of Hideous Kinky and being named as one of the best new young British novelists of 1993, Freud wrote Peerless Flats, another semi-autobiographical novel based on a hippie family living in London . Then came Summer at Gaglow, inspired by her father, and finally The Wild, published last year and tell ing the tale of two single-parent families sharing a house. What is most striking about Freud's four novels and for which she receives the most acclaim , is her abil ity to capture the inner cence and humour of young children. "I think I must still see myself as a child in some crazy way because I'm not writing about children I see, I'm writing about myself as a ch ild . I'm always amazed that other people can 't do it, to me it seems so easy, it 's the most natural thing to do . My childhood was just so extraordinarily big to me that I can put myself back there physically.· Another thing that Freud seems to find easy is getting her novels made into films . Having just finished adapting The Wild for the screen , filming is expected to take place th is summer. And judging by her enthusiasm , Freud is evidently excited by the prospect. "I'm really, really pleased. Colin Firth wants to play Will iam [ one of the single parents] and John Malkovich said that he would be happy to play the dad, Victor. So that would just be fantastic , it would be great. I would be so excited if it got made and obviously we 'd have to find some really special children for it." We move on to discuss Freud 's source of inspiration for her novels. Her father clearly plays a substantial role. "My father has definitely influenced me. He's a really extraordinary man and

I think the thing that has affected me most is how hard he works and how pat ient he is. And it 's his life, not even j ust his wor k, it 's his life that has really inspired me. When I was an out of work actress I used to model for him a lot and I used to feel quite jealous that he could just do what he loved doing all the t ime.· Luc ian also appears to be the main source of material for her novels. "When I sat and modelled for him I always tried to get information out of him . He 's incredibly unforthcoming, not because he's trying to wit hhold anything , but because he's not a sentimental or nostalgic person , wh ich I probably am. So he would tell me things and I didn't want them forgotten , they were from such another world , from so long ago , that if I hadn 't done anything with them, no one ever will. " I tried to sort of weave the stories he told me about Gaglow into a whole story and I loved writing about the way he painted and what it was like to be a model. I had done that for so many years and it was just so wonderful to use something that you have experienced. You think "oh I know about this" and " oh I know all about that, I know every minute detail. .." and that 's when writing is really pleasurable because you really know what you're writing about, but you 've never actually thought about it in those terms before. · or someone with such a great passion for telling stories, I wonder if Freud would have liked to have taken a creative writing course, or perhaps pass her expertise on to others by teach ing one every so often. Yet for Freud, having the t ime to do other th ings seems to be a major obstacle in her life, now having two small ch il· dren of her own. " I'd love to have gone to UEA if I had known that it existed at the t ime," she admits. " I'd love to teach it , I th ink it's a really wonderful way to get creativity out of people , to write in a forced environment. it's time, though . I hardly have enough time to do just what I'm doing . I work every morning and it 's always enough but never quite enough. But I wouldn 't have it any other way, really . "I write very slowly and can only work on one thing at a time, so what I choose to do next has to be the thing I most want to do because it is going to take me a few years. Yet teaching is something that I would love to do and maybe someday I will ." Freud is currently writing her new novel, set in East Anglia. Unlike the other four , it doesn't have a ch ild narrator. "I was a bit shocked at first because I kept missing the humour I find I can gain through children, but now I'm into it and enjoying it . lt hasn 't got a title yet, rather maddeningly, but then titles either come right at the very beginning and help you , or they come at the end with some difficulty ." I inquire if Freud is happy with her life , now that she is regularly writing and has more of a

"I 'm really. really pleased [about The Wild becoming a film]. Colin Firth wants to p1 ay William and John Malkovich said that he would be happy ~o play the other dad, Victor." daily rout ine, much li ke her father 's. "I th ink I am actually . I used to worry about it hugely , but now I don 't. I used to long for certain trimmings of conventional life but I didn 't really know what I was missing, or what I wasn 't missing.· Indeed for Freud, routine seems to be

what she is most happy with, reflect ed in her new style and growing maturity as a novelist . She ponders her life as it is now. "I have a voice when I'm writing fiction ," she explains. " I need a lot of time on my own . That 's taken me a long time to real ise.·

Tel: 01603 763053

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• J

We are here, above the Chinese Medical Centre (the white door)

Bank Plain

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Castle Meadow

www.sprout-hair.co.uk Wednesday, February 13, 2002

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Cinefile: Live and Rushmore spliffing: no . 13

With the revelation that Jamie Theakston spent quality time 1n a dungeon paying for sex, The Event looks at the murky world of Children's TV presen ters. They're a bit naugh y j ow. Text: Ge mma O'Donn el l

Rushmore, huh? That 's one of those " porno-graphic " films , isn't it? You silly duck, you. Actually, it's about as far from porn as you can get: it's the hi larious and often very touching look at a 15-year-old student, Max, in a publ ic school Rushmore. He's a terrible student, as he devotes all his time to various clubs and sports, but he loves Rushmore more than anything else in his life. Until one day ... he sees the new krndergarten teacher, and he instantly falls in love with her. Ha! I knew it! A porno! So when 's it on Channel 5? No, no, you've got it all wrong, mate . Although Rushmore does feature one of the most surreal love triangles in film history courtesy of Mr. Blume (Bill Murray, in an absolutely amazing performance) , an elder benefactor to the school who falls in love with the pretty young thing as well . All hell breaks loose when the two of them squabble over her. Pretty soon, Max gets thrown out of Rushmore for failing grades and Mr. Blume gets pretty much full reign over the teacher's affections. Wait , wait. First a threesome, and now dominance? Are you sure ... ? No, look, it 's not porn. Frankly, I'm getting pretty annoyed with your insistance, my friend. Max 's obsessions include playwrighting, and so he stages hilarious dramat isations of Apocalypse Now and some gangster films. The best parts, though, involve the relationship between the precocious teen and Mr. Blume. The two of them have a lot in common (besides the love interest) and tend to band together, despite the rivalry . In fact , Mr. Blume acts more like a kid than Max does. And the humour develops out of that relationship.

hen you read the words 'kids TV presenter' what 's the first thing that springs to mind? Clean cut, yes. Well spoken, yes. Gay , possibly (although the jury 's out on Toby Anstis, after all he did have sex with Cher) . From our earliest memories of the broom cupboard to the most modern image of Cat Deeley and Brian Oowling , children's TV presenters are the benchmark of sobriety and propriety, projecting their morals onto the young and innocent of this country . They are responsible spokespersons for the youth of our nation . So what happens when these cartoon heroes lose their inhibitions and behave like the naughty little tykes they appeal to? What happens when, for arguments sake , they visit a brothel? You 'd have to ask Jamie Theakston, who was snapped leaving a

"If you choose to

1r1

the public eve y)U

should expect to f.; l med when you go out. snort coke. Or have sex 1n a duroeon." classy house of ill-repute in London 's Mayfair. The Sunday People claim that Theakston engaged in 'sex games' with a harem of prostitutes in a dungeon-themed room . And in a statement released to the press, the former Live and Kicking presenter said, "This is the first time that this has happened. it was one night before Christmas that went too far . As someone who values their privacy it is extremely embarrassing and I would like to apolog ise to my close friends and family ." Subsequently , rumours abound that Theakston has been axed from the Queen's Silver Jubilee celebrations later this year. though a spokesman for the BBC was dropping no hints: "As far as we are concerned it is a personal thing. " However, Theakston's piety speaks volumes and it 's difficult to imagine Her Majesty endorsing such ant ic s, despite th e fact that her entire family could write a volume of encyclopaedias on inappropriate behaviour. The fact that Theakston could behave in such a way isn 't so terrible in itself, a rock star in a similar position would be relegated to a ment ion in the tabloid co lumns; however, it's his status as a children's entertainer

So, okay, it' s one of those " teen movies". But I've seen Scary Movie 2 (absolutely loved lt) - so why should I see this one? Please . First of all, the humour in Rushmore is much more understated than that. Instead of cum and tart jokes, the makers of the film sought to find humour in everyday situations. Plus, it 's not one of those movies that caters to the most unintelligent of the audience. Sometimes it feels good to see a movie that doesn 't have to resort to gross out jokes to make you laugh. And the soundtrack is killer. You still haven't sold me on it. A love story, right? Well, I've seen that before too. Oh, but there's so much more in it than that! There are explosions, Scottish bullies , aquariums and drunken arguments, just to name a few. it's got something for everyone . Indeed, the only thing this movie seems to miss out on are fart jokes. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. Are there singing mice? I love singing mice. No, there are no singing mice. Sorry to disappoint. Just a simple story of love, betrayal and friendship. Pretty damn heartwarming, if you ask me. But in the end, you'll leave Rushmore j ust like Max: wishing you'd had more time to spend exploring and learning its every nook and cranny. Paul Booth

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that makes it seem bad. " I know it was foolish for me to get into this situation in the first place but I 'm not married. I 路m a single guy, I haven 't broken the law. " Fair point really. But while Jamie was entertaining us in our teenage years another story was exploding regarding a certain Blue Peter presenter. Baby-faced Richard Bacon was caught 路experimenting 路 with cocaine at a London night-spot, and the next day he was reprimanded and sac ked from the stalwart Auntie show , before being reincarnated into the Big Breakfast presenter we know and hate. At the t ime, Bacon 's statement from the BBC was morose, "I have been stupid and regret making a silly mistake experimenting with drugs. I fully accept and agree with the decision that has been taken. I regret what I did but it was in my personal time and I therefore hope that it does not reflect on the show. " Cynics among us would argue that it provided the much-needed boost for his career, but unfortunately the Head of Children 's Progra;nmes, Lorraine Heggessey didn't agree: "it is sad that such a talented presenter as Richard Bacon has not only let himself and his colleagues down but , most important of all , he has let down the millions of children who watch Blue Peter. " Well, 1 wouldn 't go that far. Blue Peter has built itself a bit of a reputation as far as naughty behaviour is concerned. In 1980 it emerged that Peter Duncan had once featured in a porn film , and in 1987 Britain reeled at the employment of an unmarried mother, Janet Ellis, whose sprag, Sophie, has recently adorned our sets with her latest offering Murder On The Dancefloor. Dani Behr is the most recent of these poor celebrities whose innocence has crumbled before our very eyes , although it 's fa ir to say that her character was in doubt long before The Saturday Show, before her revelation that she'd enjoyed "seedy, but great " sex in a car park and before she posed very scantily clad in men's mag, Maxim. it 's almost too much to expect a person in the prime of life not to make any mistakes (just look at stud ents) but when these people have had the good fortune to be employed as presenters earning ludicrous salaries then surely it is our business what they get up to. I 'm all for Jamie Theakston going out and getting himself some rumpy if that 's what he wants, but I wouldn 't be that chuffed if my impressionable young offspring were exposed to such shady characters. Of course, everyone can make mistakes - that goes without saying - but if you choose to - live in the public eye t hen you should expect to get filmed when you go out . Or snort coke. Or have sex in a dungeon. And if you get sacked then you can always sell your story can 't you? Or join SC!ub7, I hear they're not fussy.

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Movie Rumours ••

All is not well in Movieland; t he handba gs ar e out and the fur is flying. As ever, our corresponden t is ringside, watching the fa ces get s lapped and the dummies get spat. Text:

Like the tales (or tails?) involving Richard Gere , the rumours of what occurred on the set of Charlie 's Angels have become Hollywood legend. At one time or another during filming , it seemed every major cast member had hated. screamed at or beaten up everyone else. Of course, once the publicity campaign roared into motion, all of this was vehemently denied . But now , as casting for the sequel begins, something close to the truth is emerging. Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore and Lucy Llu

the sequel regardless of how large a fee Columbia Pi ctures wave at him . Instead, the Bosley role will be filled by Jamie Foxx (Any G1ven Sunday) who , in a bizarre twist , will be playing Murray·s son. Although you may have seen the teaser trailer attached to Lord of the Rings, it' s look1ng mcreasingly unlikely that Austin Pow ers: Goldmemberwill reach cinemas 1n its current form. Despite having no problem with The Spy Who Shagged Me, MGM - the studio that holds the rights to the Bond franchisehave decided that the new installment of Powers is a step too far . With the backing of the Motion Picture Association of America, MGM are demanding that New Line- the studio behind the Powers films - change the title of Goldmember, and possibly re-shoot some of the more blatant ly Bond-based material, or pay them then huge amounts of punitive cash. New Line attempted to respond by offering to move their Denzel Washington thriller John Q. away from competition with MGM 's forthcoming Bruce Willis WW2 drama Hart 's War. MGM turned the proposition down. clearly sensing the chance to make some serious money . The current situation is that New Line have recalled all promotional material that uses

"Despite having no problem with The Spy Who Shagged Me, the studio th at hold the rights to the Bond franchise have decided that the new Austin Powers movie Goldmember is a step too far." are all returning, albeit for vastly increased pay cheques. Diaz will become only the second woman - after Julia Roberts - to earn $20 million for a single film. Also back for a second round is Crispin Glover (Michael J. Fox ·s dad in Back to the Future)- a slight surprise as his character died at the end of part one . Notable by his absence. however, is Mr. Bill Murray . Murray has had nothing to do with Charlie's Angels since the film wrapped. He refused to help publicize it and didn't attend the premiere . Whether the stories of his being slapped by Liu and having to improvise most of his part are true or not , he won't sign on for

the Goldmember title and are ask ing the media to refer to the film as " Austin Powers 3" After all this depressing t alk of compromised sequels. it seems worth pointing out that t here are some interesting projects coming out of Hollywood in the near fut ure. Chief amongst these may be Death to Smoochy. a Danny DeVito black comedy staring Robin Willlams and Edward Norton as rival ch ildren 's television entertainers. Sho•s of Norto.l dressed as a huge. purple rhino look fantast ic . Another worthwhile movie should be Spike Jonze's follow-up to Being John Malkovich, Adaptation.

Jim Whalley

Written by Charlie Kaufman , who also did Malkovich. the film tells the story of a screenwriter called Charlie Kaufman (played by Nicholas Cage ) who struggles to concoct a successor to his script, Being John Malkovich with stars John Cusack and Katherine Keener returnmg to play themselves on the set of the earlier film . Chrlstopher Nolan . British writer/ director of Memento. too, has a new film ready for release. Insomnia, a remake of a Norwegian movie of the same name. stars AI Pacino as a detective suffering from the titular malady , hunting a killer in Alaska. Robin Williams (alias The Man Monkey) , appears to be mak1ng a latecareer bid to escape from melodramatic crap, by playing the bad guy.

Rocking all over- the • World •

With three full 1ength a 1bums an d a handful of ep's and si ngles under their belt, emo ro ckers , J i mmy Eat World, have r ecently exploded into the mainstream . The Event t alked to them at their recent gig at the Wa t erfront abo ut their sudden success . Text : Mat thew Sargeson

E :::;

I had never seen the Waterfront this busy before. From the front of the stage all the way through to the familiar death drop at the back of the floor, this odd collection of indie, emo and punk kids along with a noticeable presence of relatively elderly couples (in their mid 30s, bless 'em) proved to be an impenetrable mass that, not for want of trying, you just could not push through. The sheer amount of bodies meant that there were no spaces in between to accommodate my own portly frame . I made sure to relay this information to the charismatic lead singer/guitarist Jlm Adkins, after he and the rest of the band warmly welcomed me into their dressing room 20 or so minutes before they were due to take the stage. " Really?" he said after raising an eyebrow to bassist Rick Burch. "Cool. • While support act Seafood wrestled on unconvincingly with their instruments in front of a crowd baying for Salt s weat, Sugar, Adkins seemed to be taking the impending show and JEW's recent meteoric rise into the mainstream completely in his stride. "I'm not sure why we're so popular now. We've just been rocking out the way we've always done and making music the way we want, what sounds good to us.· Yet Jimmy Eat World have quickly become 'Hot Property'. with a top 40 single under their belt, current release The Middle on Radio One's A-list and a string of high profile interviews in the popular music press and MTV. However, the older songs from the cult favourite lp's Clarity and Static Prevails (which fans would be treated to in JEW's hour and a half long set), are a far more angular affair, with slightly more testing dynamics than recent singles Salt Sweat Sugar and The Middle; in fact, a much more 'emo' sound than they produce in their latest material. Ah emo, the sound of the underdog, the song of the kid picked last for football at lunchtimes, the tune of the broken heart. Sometimes referred to as 'Post Hardcore', emo in essence is a heady mix of searing guitars interspersed wit h raw, unfettered emotional outpourings from impassioned young men. Of late it may have become softer, perhaps more obsessed wit h the endearing melody than the unsettling tune of guitar molestation, but it always remains disarming and emotionally articulate. it is also the scene that the band have been most closely linked with since their inception. When questioned over the band's links with the emo scene I related JEW to such other grand acts as the Get Up Kids, Rival Schools and the Alkaline Trio. However, Adkins himself ques-

tions where his band really belong generically. "I can't really think who I'd class as our peers. I guess we can be seen as an lndie Rock band if anything. A lot of acts these days are just getting lumped into the emo category and I think a lot of them would contest that too.· Certainly the pages of the NME show many bands t arred with emo's brush (a brush, one supposes, baby blue in colour and stained with the tears of a thousand teenage boys) as deriding any such thoughts. Andy Bews (of Hundred Reasons) for one is

around playing with a camcorder, checking their message boards on the Internet and making cups of tea as I enter, unaware of the chaos outside and the feverish diligence of their fans. The queue outside tails back into the street a good half hour before the doors opened, a hopeful couple waiting over two hours near the band entrance in the harsh winter cold, only wishing to hear the sound check, get a glimpse of the band, and, at the most, say "Hi". I wonder if this feeling of kinship between audience and artist

rock stars then where are the strippers and drugs? Isn't t hi s supposed to Jim Adkin s , lead singer be ' bac k s t ag e ' ? '' "If

quoted as saying that "All music is emo because it has emotion in it. People just need labels to find things in record shops.· Yet in terms of emotional involvement, JEW's latest album comes across as a hand's down winner. The likes of Your House, If You Don't, Don't and Sweetness prove to be bittersweet rock anthems on both CD and stage, with the sight of Adkins sweet 'curtains' haircut descending into a driven mass of churrring rock and roll bravado causing the crowd to explode for show opener Salt SWeat Sugar.

EW play an incredibly tight set, and it's obvious that their gestation period in the belly of a thousand US mid-west clubs has made them more than capable of standing up to the impending challenge of a larger venue tour of the UK (taking in the Brixton Academy and Nottingham Rock City) . Adkins seems unriled by the t hought of such a high profile series of shows. "I 'm j ust really looking forward to it. it's going to be a busy and exciting year, we're pretty much booked up all t he way through to 2003. it's all just going to be a lot of rock and ro ll ." Rock stardom is also apparently no issue for t he band. With their faces splashed all over the covers of the NME, Kerrang! and their album given pride of place in Rolling Stone's review section (along with the symbolically important half page illustration) JEW still seem to just shrug off their fame rather than biting their finger nails at it. "If we 're rock stars then where are the strippers and drugs? Isn't this supposed to be 'backstage'?" j okes Ad kins. The backstage in question is a very subdued affair. The band sit

was perhaps created from a certain feeling Adkins alluded to in recent interviews of writing about simple everyday things, of heartbreak and frustration: •All our parents are still together. I've got nothing really to complain about•. In short, are Jimmy Eat World the voice for a generation of the happy-go-lucky middle classes? "I'm not really trying to be that for anyone,· replies Adkins sceptically, "there's no class agenda. I know that I never really looked for or necessarily needed a voice for my generation when I was growing up.• "What about Fred Durst?" offers guitarist Tom Linton. Urn, yes. Post show, my buttocks numb from perching upon the hard, precarious metal railing surrounding the venues sound desk, I make my way through the scores of backpacked couples ' sharing the moment' and break into the outside world and the general melee of merchandise bootleggers and sweat drenched pogo-ers. The faithful hoping to acquire an autograph have already secured their place at the car park's entrance, amassing nearer 30 now than the previous two, and while heading off to catch my bus home, kids are sprawled in clusters all over the pavement, regaling each other with their Jimmy Eat World love stories. "Dude, I totally touched his guitar!" "Yeah but man, I put my hand out and I felt the grease in his hair!" "Yeah but man, he looked at me, like, in the eye! " I try to imagine, from the short time I spent with the band, how they'd react if they knew how taken their British public were with them ... in the end I decide on "Cool". a shuffling of feet and a thanksgiving acoustic rendition of Limp Bizkit's Nookie. Possibly.

Wednesday. February 13.

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• With Valentine's Day soon upon us, nothing exudes amour like a good Mills and Boon. Ever wondered how to write one and how to get it published? The Event offers the definitive guide to creating the perfect romantic read ... Text: Charlotte Ronalds

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M I L l S &.. 8 0 0 N • ~fM

BABY AT

BUSHMAN'S CREEK Jessica Hart

n the realm of pulp fiction, Mills and Boon have a lowly existence, either being totally banned from libraries or forced to share shelving space with the last remnants of Jeffrey Archer and the newest offering from Jackie Collins. No one admits to liking them. No one admits to reading them. And certainly no one admits to actually buying them. But despite this feigned snobbishness, Mills and Boon are one of the most successful literary labels in Britain, forming part of the internationally renowned Harlequin series. So, whilst these little paperbacks may be pure trash, they are nevertheless a world-wide phenomenon. And best of all, anyone can write one. And here's how ...

Before Writing: The best place to start is by choosing which series of Mills and Boon you want t o write for. Perusing as many copies as you can i s an effective way to understand t he characters' motivat ions. Then you can decide which out of the four series tickles your fancy.

4 . Why and how do the characters keep meeting? Remember they cannot get together straight away (what about the other 49,000 words?) and affairs are definitely NOT appropriate. Perhaps it turns out that they both work in the same building, or maybe they share a past. Bear in mind this really should be believable, not contrived. Real life situations are somet hing Mills and Boon strive to perfect in all their publications.

Tender Romance:

Length 50.000.55,000 words This style is written in the third person from the heroine's point of view. So lines like " Ross noticed Gloria looking at him ... • are not suitable, but "Gioria noticed t hat Ross noticed that she was look ing at him" are. it may seem long-winded, but perspective is everything. The book must focus on the warm and tender romance developing bet ween the main protagonists, but with· out describing t heir physical urges. Should sex prove necessary to the plot, metaphors are the way to go, tor example "the cage opened and the beast crawled out.· Here, the reader knows what' s going on. but without t he coarseness of intimate details. Historical Romance:

Length 75,000-85,000 words The period ranges from 1066 until 1920. Research is vital here, both for the time and the characters. The sort of people that read these books are avid historians at heart and can tell if you have made a factual error. So remember characterisation will be different: back then women wore tight corsets, and so should be described as having "heaving bosoms" and "an enticing cleavage" rather than a modern description, for example, · a juicy pair" . Medical Romance:

Length 50,000.55,000 words These are present day romances set in a hospital, though medical talk should not be used. You may be able to get away with "stethoscope• at a push but anything else is apparently too complex for the readers. Always use simple terms, so a " heartattack" should never be referred to as a "coronary " . Ideally though, no one should die or be ill as the story shouldn't be dist ressing. Remember that the hospital is simply the setting - intimate details about patients are of no interest to the reader and wi ll add nothing to the romance. Mills and Boon Presents:

Length 50,000-55,000 words This is the most explicit in the series and so should only be attempted by those who are experienced in the field. Series Editor, Tessa Shapcott, says the stories should be " spine-tin-

e·VeOt·Wednesday .

gling passion and provoca1ive, tantalising, romantic excitement. " The women must be independent, though still likeable , and contemporary. Sexual metaphor is not required for this series and so lines like "Abbey looked down at Kyle' s manly, throbbing penis" are acceptable, though should only be used nearer t he end of t he book when the characters are in love.

During Writing: According to Mills and Boon expert, Christine Grace, "the path to greatness often lies through blood, sweat, tears, time and more time. Writers need patience, practice, persistence, flexibi l-

"Abbey 1ooked

friends with the heroine. Your protagonists can be an ordinary kind of person, yet somehow they must be larger than life. Essentially you need to show that the characters are both beautiful on the inside and outside.

2. The essent.lal barrier to Love: What Is it? Conflict is the other key feature in any romance story. All love stories adopt the time-old tradition of the love cycle, repeating it enm.:gh times until the book's word-count Is finally achieved. The story must have a 'situation-problem-response-result ' formula. Then, by recycling the 'problem-response' section enough times as necessary, you have your book. Don't be afraid of doing this. If there 's no confl ict, there 's no story. Having the

down at

Ky 1e ' s manl y,

throbbing pen i s " ity. understanding of the readership, and initiative." There are six main questions you should ask yourself as you begin to write your novel. f you don't know the answer to these, no Mills and Boon publisher will ever take you or your masterpiece seriously .

1. Characterisation: Who are my heroes and heroines going to be? The secret to a successful Mills and Boon is that the story really Is a 'character driven pll)t'. The characters must be convinc ing, so remember to get some historical context in here. What made them the person they are today? Do they have any distinguishing characteristics or facial features? For example, an Indiana Jones-esque scar shows that whilst your man is a bit rough and ready, he is just misunderstood and needs a woman to help him unlock his true self. As the readers of Mills and Boon are predominantly fema!e, they need to swoon when the hero enters the page and want to be

February 13 , 2002

5. What Is the dream aspect? All Mills and Boon need a bit of fantasy from t he female's point of view . Can she really get that gorgeous man that she's been admiring from afar? Even w it h her girlish freckles and dimples? You, the writer, need to make her dream a reality, and lines like "M arcus had always had a thing for women with girlish freckles and dimples" will help keep the story on track and the reader satisfied.

3. Setting: Where do the characters meet? Does your female drop the heavy books she is carrying and your man just happens to pick them up? The type of book you are writing for may help determine the context. Things like him being a farmer and her being a vet and meeting whilst attending to a pregnant cow is not appropriate. The reader wants to be moved, but not to the bathrobm. Passion is usually stirred in hot climates, maybe your characters could be on holiday, maybe at a ridin~ ranch?

As the characters drive the plot, they must be introduced to the readers fairly early on in the story. Is there an immediate strong sexual attraction or does it grow out of several encount ers? For Christine Grace, "The heroine has never felt so cared for and secure in her whole life as when she's with t he hero. He longs for the feeling of wonder he's never felt with another woman. " Basically there's a risk involved but whi lst the characters may lose something important to them, t hey will gain so much more than they ever thought possible. And you have to make the reader realise this. Lines like "Marina knew it would be hard never being able to see her homeland again, but with Carlos by her side she knew everything was going to be just wonderfu l" is an ideal way to end the book. Wh ilst ambiguous endings are not encouraged, the reader must realise that end of t he book signifies a new story - the story of the characters· new lives together.

After writing : Rather than sending off the transcript, Mills and Boon prefer a brief synopsis. They also have t he strict rule that plot s or scenes bearing a striking resemblance to previous Mills and Boon books are in breach of copyright. But lines like " Sheila was feeling hot and flustered, after all, she was in Barbados" and "Shirley was feel ing quite hot, after all, she was in North Barbados" are fine, obviously being two totally separate stories. So having read the guide, now it's you r turn. Submit a 500-word short st ory, specifying which series you are writi ng for and we'll print the best one next issue on page three of The Event. And who knows? For t hose graduating soon, it may be the st art of a beautiful career in romance writing ...

Hav i ng read t he gu ide, you should now be able to write the perfect Mil l s and Boon . So, putt i ng this theory to the test , two budding Mills and Boon -ers were asked to write their own brief synopsis to move even the most sceptical of romanticsMedical Romance:

girl harbour a dark secret (though not too dark, remember your characterisation) is always a good way to go. "You 're the only· man for me, but your father robbed me of my innocence ten years ago ... • is also an effective roadblock to love, though is slightly trickier and may not be suitable for first-time writers. For those who are interested in the ' Presents' series, the 'object of desire-desire arousal-attempt to fulfi l it-result' cycle is the one to opt for.

6. When does the attraction start to appear?

Lolalita is a fiery Spanish dancer, with lustrous black hair. But although her breasts are firm, they are small. Lolalita, trying to make it as a dancer in London, wishes that her breasts were bigger and doesn't feel a proper woman. For the past two years, she has refused to date anyone and has been saving to get her breasts surgically enhanced. This is because two years ago her only boyfriend, Sergio, brutally robbed her of her innocence and then laughed at her breasts. Henry Is dashing and fair, he is much older than Lolalita, but shy, as he has a stutter. He is a cosmetic surgeon, which is how he meets Lolalita. He falls for her straight away, and is amazed she doesn't make fun of his stutter. They discuss her surgery, .but she is attracted to him, so flees his office, but forgets her appointments diary. Henry calls her for a date. lt · goes well, she goes back to his, but runs out just as things heat up, embarrassed by her breasts. Henry re§ssures her and they fall in love. But she still holds back her dark secret. Suddenly Sergio comes to London. Sergio locks himself in Lolallta's flat with her, on the very

night that Henry was intending to propose. Henry hears cries and breaks down the door. Lolalita confesses to everything, he forgives her, they share a night of passion. Henry caresses her breasts, telling her they're beautiful. His stutter goes. Lolalita Jeams th~ love does not come from having bigger breasts, but a decent man. Mtrid Goldsmith Hist orical Romance: The Wild West of America during the 1860s was a period of stage robberies, shootouts, and lawlessness. Clint was a young boy, coerced into violence by his older brothers, characters Hank and Dirk, unable to stand up to them. But he was a noted fighter with brooding good looks, a jack-the-lad gambler who would risk life and limb for the sake of a bet. They were planning to commit their greatest robbery, against Irish immigrants moving from New York: another family In the grand land rush. But unknown to the rogues, the family's daughter, Shannon McCarferty, already lived in Uttlesville. home to the brothers. The robbery went wrong, they managed to stea~ nothing, and it ended in the shooting of Shannon's father,

Seamus. On the arrival in Littlesville, the family were forced to stay at the local hotel whilst SeQmus was nursed back to health. Hank and Dirk blamed Clint for the failure of the robbery and forced him to get a job at the hotel, so that they could stage the robbery again. However, as he came into contact with Shannon, who at first found htm na'ive and Impressionable, she fell for him as he helped nurse Seamus back to health. But the brothers still wanted to commit the robbery, and Clint was caught in the middle. His pure love for Shannon had become so great that he wanted to tum his back on his brothers, so he tOld Seamus the plan. Seamus told Chnt ,to go along with the brothers' original plan, but that it would be set up, framing Hank and Dirk. The day of the robbery came and as planned when the three of them tried to escape they found themselves at gunpoint. But Hank realised what had happened and shot his two brothers before shooting himself. However, Clint was just shot in the arm and passed out. He soon made a full recovery and Shannon and CHnt lived a full and romant ic life together; freed from the evil grasp of Hank and Dirk.

Wed nesday , February 13, 2002

Mlcl<ael Johnsson

event

14 Albums

Jewel

•

This Way

•

Jewel's new album, This Way, bears a striking resemblance to the work of such sweet-voiced artists as The Corrs and Lisa Loeb. The combination of soft, feminine vocals and rousing choruses at first demanded the volume to be turned up. Gradually though, the sweetness of Jewel's tender voice grows a little too sickening. There are only so many high-pitched ballad-style tunes someone can take before feeling the overwhelming need for something a little less angelic . The strong acoustic and percussion backing of many of the songs makes the album generally more uplifting and interesting than her previous album, Spirit. it seems though, that her tendency to slip into the realm of cheese is inescapable. I can't quite shake off the impression that many of her songs would be ideally suited to a Oawson's Creek soundtrack. Jewel's recent comment that she wishes to "st ay relevant as a writer, which means staying honest about where you are• would seem to confirm the unashamedly corny attitude I had suspected. Jewel deserves credit for the fact that she wrote all of her own material and eo-produced the album in an age where production and writing credits are usually longer than the lyrics themselves, although some of the lyrics are a little too sentimental to be taken as seriously as she would like. Considering that the album was recorded in Nashville, it is not surprising that a few of the tracks have a distinctly country and western twang to them. Dolly Parton fans may appreciate this aspect of her music, but for me the album would have been better, and certainly less cringeworthy, had Jewel chosen to neglect the country music influence. I could have lived without the religious lyrics that occasionally cropped up as well, most notably in the track Jesus Loves You. The title says it all. The first single, Standing Still is to be released on March 11, and stood out as the catchiest track on the album. If you love the single then the album will not be a disappointment, as many of the tracks follow the same pattern, but there is just enough diversity to avoid that feeling that the artist has taken one song and decided to see how many subtle variations of it they can get away with. This Way is probably best described as a 'nice' album. lt is inoffensive and safe, and the kind of music that everyone's parents would approve of. Jewel provides palatable background music, and the new album does emphasise the quality and strength of her voice (particularly the live bonus tracks included). However, I do not imagine the album will revolutionise my CD collection. Rather, it will come out occasionally when I have forgotten what it sounds like, and fancy reminding myself. Cllthetlne Bowe

5/ 10

Clinic:

The Streets:

Walking With Thee

Original Pirate Materia l NMf/Carling Tour

Ade Blackburn must be a very happy man. Not only has the frontman for the Liverpudlian four-piece watched his band receive an increasingly huge amount of praise from all the right people in the music industry over the past couple of yearsdirected towards their debut, Internal Wrangler- he has seen that praise translate into hard cash, thanks to the request of a certain jeans company to use one of Clinic's songs as the soundtrack for their Twisted Denim campaign, and a hardened fanbase. helped by Thorn Yorke, who asked Clinic to tour with Radiohead on their Big Top Tour. All this and Clinic have never even had to be subjected to the 'Hype Machine' that has seen countless other bands splashed across the front cover of every music magazine in the country only to be dumped on the the has-been heap six weeks later, branded with the slogan "They Were Good Before They Got Famous•. But does Walking With Thee hold up to its predecessor? Well, in a word, yes. The thing that stands out most about this record is the variety of ideas explored within the songs, without making the album too disparate as a whole. The opening track, Harmony, sets the general tone with Its icy keyboard loop and hypnotic rhythm section, whilst The Equaliser builds upon this chilling atmosphere, using clattering percussion and an effects-laden clarinet that adds a haunting jazz influence to the track. The single, also called Walking With Thee, steps up the pace with its simple structure and catchy refrain. Elsewhere, For The Wars echoes the keyboard loop of Harmony, but treats it in a much gentler way, producing a beautiful closing track. Clinic's second album is not a huge departure from what they experimented with on Internal Wrangler. Instead, Walking With Thee irons out all those things that weakened the debut, creating a wonderfully hypnotic and emotional collection of songs that complement each other perfectly. Mark/and Starl<le

This album goes to great lengths to silence the critics that said Has it come to this? was a one-hit wonder for Birmingham's 22 year-old Mike Skinner. This collection of tracks proves j ust how versatile UK Garage can be. Forget the guns, champagne and attitude from South Londoners in white Reebok classics, Skinner offers a true take on life from a young person's point of view. This CD represents everything that is real for the young today. From stupidity to love, sensitivity to crime, Skinner's lyrics epitomise the life and times of an everyday lad about town. Due for release on March 18 through 679 Recordings, Original Pirate Material incorporates a blend of garage, r 'n' b, and hiphop in the shape of Sharp Darts, all laced over by ingenious poetical lyrics. The strongest tracks are Let's Push Things Forward, a reggae-inspired comment on the present state of the urban music scene, whilst lt's Too Late is a cracking ballad which reminisces about Skinner's experiences with a previous girlfriend. The beauty of this album is that its lyrics appeal to anyone and everyone. The CO is 14 tracks long, yet only lasts 50 minutes. Admittedly, some of the songs seem to be just filling time, making the transition between some good quality tracks, but name an album where this has not occurred. This is an album that needs some listening to, but give it a chance. Maybe some of the records crave remix lng, which could improve its popularity in the clubs. This has proved to be the case with Jameson's interpretation of Has lt Come To This? Regardless of its minor flaws, this is overall a very good album, proving that true talent always shines in a highly competitive industry. This one may not perform well in the charts, but do not let that be the test of Original Pirate Material. Marlc Wheeler

8/ 10

9/ 10

event Wednesday,

February 13, 2002

Live Review: My God, it's a young crowd tonight. And they aren't here to see The Coral, who have the unenviable task of opening tonight's proceedings at 7.10pm. Their psychedelic rock has enough quirky twists and sudden time changes to keep you interested, but they're just on too early to excite any response. Apathy reigns, and even an impromptu jam into Bob Marley's Get Up Stand Up to close the set fails to gamer much applause. Right band, wrong stage time. The Soundtrack Of Our Uves fare better, mainly thanks to their rock and roll preacher frontman, who appears dressed as a priest, and reminds me of a younger, less beardy Paddy MeAloon from Prefab Sprout. There's a hint of The Wonderstuff, and nods to a number of classic rock acts, and just when the energy levels seem to be waning, they pull out the old trick of getting the crowd to sit down before piling into a new, higher level of intensity. Black Rebel who? Ah. I knew the kids were here to see someone specific. Lostprophets are without doubt the most well supported band on tonight's bill, and they've certainly improved since their last Norwich outing in September 2001. A bigger stage seems to inspire them to a pleasingly energetic performance, and they have the song of the night in the electrifying Shinoblvsdragonnin}a. Unfortunately, bedtime means that many of the kids can't stay and watch a staggering display from Andrew WK. The bastard son of Kiss, Aerosmlth, Motorhead, Motley Crue and Spinal Tap, he is certainly not the future of rock 'n' roll, as some would have you believe. What he is though, is a glorious homage to every band who ever took to the stage with little more intent than to play massive powerchords and riffs, and have a damn good time doing it. If the Jerry Lee Lewis keyboards don't get you, one of the three guitarists will. Anti-intellectual in the extreme, it's an incredibly refreshing exercise in musical escapism. Grunge? What's that? Anthony Love/1

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Singles 15

I an Brown

â&#x20AC;˘ â&#x20AC;˘

Whispers Is !an Brown's current output doomed to be compared (almost inevitably unfavourably) with his glorious past? Can we ever look at him without thinking 'Stone Roses'? If not, then that's a shame because on the evidence of Whispers, Mr Brown is producing some quality material. Material that were it not for his oh so illustrious past might be taken more notice of. The Stone Roses more or less defined an era; 1t'd be unfa1r to expect lightning to strike the same place twice. I will however give him full marks for effort. Whispers floats over you like a cool breeze for 40 seconds, then grabs you with a bass line of pure swagger. A brief nod to his baggy past perhaps, but just a little bit more cool and self assured this time round. The strings then enter, pulsating, beautiful, and a clear statement from the man that he can and will surprise you. This is a beautiful song, full of airy guitar and dreamlike imagery. In fact there's a lot to like about Whispers, but it's hard to get excited about it. This is genuine music, it's good music, there's just nothing to get enthusiastic about, that's all. All credit to the man; he seems completely aware of his past and is not consciously trying to avoid it. He's just evolving and letting the chips fall where they may. it's just a shame they haven't fallen anywhere for you to get particularly excited about. Kleran Pearson

Nothing

Natal i e Imbrugl i a:

Wrong Impression

If you like nu-metal, then this is as good as it gets. Taken from the new album Hi-Fi Serious, this tune is everything you want to make your neck muscles ache. A stomping chorus of "Gimme some love, gimme some skin, if we ain't got that, then we ain't got much and we ain't got nothing!" is followed by a verse filled with computer programmed funny noises that have previously been featured by Linkin Park, Incubus et al. If you're a purist, you won 't like the overproduction; they don't sound like a live band on record, especially with the verse sounding like music from Duke Nukem . A couple of turntables could have done the job so much better. Nothing has all the same themes as many of the genre's songs; escapism ("fly away!"), dissatisfaction in relationships, and angsty frustration with life. Keep on whinging Ed Purlds in the free world! Grr...

Wrong Impression is the second single taken from lmbruglia's album White Lilies Island. The single is a more upbeat song than its predecessor That Day. However, it still doesn't come near to Torn, the smash hit single of 1997. lt appears that despite her work with the likes of U2 and Nelly Furtado, the actress who played Beth in Neighbours would be better going back to the soap where she first made her name. This is not to say the song is bad; the chorus is annoyingly catchy and if you like your contemporary pop this song is not an awful way of spending three and a half minutes of your life. However, if you were indifferent, one would suggest that this mix of James and J-Lo be avoided. The wrong impression, one feels, was that this Aussie pop beauty could repeat the success of Torn. Oan Hutchlngs

Timo Maas:

Depeche Mode:

To Get Down

An annoyingly infectious, if somewhat infectiously annoying single from the remix guru to the stars - amongst others, Timo Maas has remixed songs for Madonna , Placebo, Kelis, Fatboy Slim and Roger Sanchez. Here, though, he demonstrates his own abilities as composer, and doesn't do too badly at all. The insipid lyrics ("What goes around comes around, it's time to get down") can be forgiven, as this is, after all, a club tune, and the funky guitar riff adds a raw edge to the song which makes that bit more exciting and interesting than your usual dance anthem. However, whilst it would be cool to dance to in a hot, sweaty club while you try to impress members of the opposite sex, this song doesn't really have much effect outside of that context. If you played it on your hi-fi in your room, you might just get a little bit bored. Mlscha Pear/man

Goodnight Lovers

If you could translate the serenity of an ocean scattered with moonbeams into music, you probably wouldn't fall too short of this. In fact, it is surprising Mute Records chose to release this as a single, with a complete lack of catchy hooks or chart enticing tempo. The mm1malism apparent is effective, however, relying only upon vocals and a glittering electronic twinkle in the background. This JUSt manages to escape a dated '80s synthesised sound, espec1ally with the background of sampled humming vocals. What really brings out the song's romantic aesthetics are Martin Gore's lyrics. The source of his sorrow is his low willpower, telling us how he chooses desire over common sense. You will either see this as dreary moaning or heartfelt honesty, admitting how we often crave affection despite Ed Purkls the costs.

The Bookshop 21 Avenue Rd, Norwich, NR2 3HL Open Monday- Saturday 10.00- 5.00 For A Good Selection Of Second-Hand Academic Books Including:

Philosophy, Sociology, History, Psychology, Theology, Art History, Politics, Literary Criticism, Media Studies, Film, Theatre, Maths, Biology, Chemistry, etc.

Pictures (clockwise from top): 1. Ian Brown; 2. Natalie lmbruglia; 3. Depeche Mode; 4. Timo Maas

Also Large Stocks Of Poetry, Fiction, Buddhism, Alternative Medicine, Music, etc. s You Are Welcome To Buy, Sell Or Browse At Your Local Bookshop. Tel 01603 768720

Wednesday,

February 13, 2002

event

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16 Film

Ocean ' s Eleven â&#x20AC;˘â&#x20AC;˘

Directed by Stephen Soderbergh Starring: George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Jul i a Roberts

After last year's hyperactive Oscar performance, Steven Soderbergh kicks back with his friends in Vegas. Slick, smooth and supremely entertaining

They may make you feel fat and ugly, earn ludicrous sums of money for doing very little, and spout out endless vacuous statements about humanitarian and political issues that they have no hope of ever understanding, but film stars are a good thing. Honestly. Both versions of Ocean's Eleven prove it. The 1960 original is, by conventional standards, a travesty of a motion picture. Though based on a reasonably promising concept (a group of eleven criminals plan to raid five Las Vegas casinos in one night). the casting of Frank Sinatra and his cronies meant that what happened behind the scenes was always going to be far more interesting than anything caught on camera. Despite playing the lead character, Danny Ocean, Sinatra was only present for twelve hours of fi lming and rarely agreed to more than one take. Yet somehow the sheer magnetic charisma of the Rat Pack was caught in every frame, mak ing the movie end lessly enthralling, if usually incoherent. The masterstroke of Steven Soderbergh and George Clooney 's loose re make is in, if not exactly recreat ing this charisma , then concocting a less misogynistic, less self-destruct ive version for the new millennium. In place of Frank, Dean , Sammy, Peter and Joey we have George, Brad . Matt, Andy and Don. And Ju lia Roberts is a more than passable alternative to Angie Dickinson. Each actor has been employed to do exactly what they do best. Clooney (as Ocean) and Pitt - using lighter variations of their Out of Sight and Fight Club characters respectively - make an excellent double act, with Pitt in particular displaying flawless comic timing. Damon essentially acts like a pickpocket version

event Wednesday.

of Will Hunting. Garcia is even more smoothly evil than he was in The Godfather Part Ill. Only Cheadle offers anything new - a hilariously poor Cockney accent that may be the film's best joke. Backing up the leads is a varied supporting cast of talented newcomers and masterful veterans. Casey Affleck (Ben's brother) and Scott Caan (James' son) are amusingly incompetent. Occasionally, Elliot Gould and earl Reiner wander into the picture, stealing scenes as well as money . What really sets the remake apart as something special, however, is that the stars are surrounded by a genuinely classy production -the kind that Soderburgh seems to find so effortless these days. Vegas has been shot as an oasis of style and sophistication rather than the over-sized Blackpool it actually is. The script, by Ted Griffin, cuts the number of cas inos from five to three, but more than compensates with plenty of witty dialogue ("You're a liar and a th ief. " "I only lied about bJli a th ief",) and a plot that successfully balances betwe~n comedy and suspense. After tackling weighty social problems in Traffic and Erin Brokovich, Ocean's Eleven is Soderburgh having fun. it 's supreme entertainment that puts a big smile on your face without leaving any troubling thoughts in your brain. If you haven't already guessed , it surpasses the original in every way although, if we 're going to start making comparisons, Sinatra had the better singing voi ce. Jim Whal/ey

February 13, 2002

9/10

Fi 1 m 17

A Beautiful Mind:

Directed by Ron Howard Starring: Russell Crewe, Jennifer Connely

Happy days are here again for director Ron Howard. A Beautiful Mind sees Russell Crowe putting mind over matter and attracting that much needed pre-Oscar award buzz. Ran Howard, let it be said, has never shied away from sentimentality. In his latest film, however, he embraces it like a calf embraces the life-giving teat of its bovine mother. A Beautiful Mind, an Academy Award hopeful this year, manages to portray quite sensitively the perils of schizophrenia in the mind of a genius for the first two thirds of the film, but by the end , all pretence of maturity dissolves into a basic tearjerker. If any film deserves a pre-recorded sitcom audience shrieking · awwww" at the end, it is this one. A Beautiful Mind, however, is not all hankies and dripping mascara. Depicting 40 years in the life of John Nash (Russell Crowe). a brilliant mathematician at Princeton, the film charts not only the startling genius of Nash's mathematical theories (he documented the Game Theory, which replaced Adam Smith's economic models for the 20th century, among other things) , but also the rapid decline in his mental health. Nash 's schizophrenia led him to see people that weren't really there, and to believe that Russia was sending him coded messages in the newspapers of the Cold War. Despite this debilitating disease, Nash falls in love and marries a beautiful student, Alic ia (Jennifer Connelly), and struggles to live a normal life. While the outcome is never at doubt (it's basically a true story, and Nash is still alive and teaching at Princeton today), the journey Nash undertakes to defeat his illness makes for great cinema. He refuses medical treatment, as his mind gets affected and prevents him from teaching. Instead, Nash and Alicia work together to conquer his disorder. To its credit, A Beautiful Mind features some of the strongest acting in recent memory . Crowe completely embodies Nash and once again pulls off an amazing performance, reminiscent of his work in The Insider. Connelly , surely one of the most underrated actresses in Hollywood today , pulls a powerful character study out of what is largely a thankless role. The ensemble cast, including Paul Bettany as Nash's roommate and Ed Harris as an agent of the government, all shine, creating moments of pure beauty and together, the cast manage to rise above the schmaltz of the script. Replete with self-satisfyingly Hollywood

lines (" 1-iove-you-so-we-can-work-this-out") and the annoyingly sappy "without-you-l'm-nothing· speech , A Beautiful Mind certainly doesn't shy from melodrama. Indeed, it seems to thrive on it. Which is not to say that this is necessarily a bad thing. A little melodrama doesn't hurt. In this film, however, it is so unnecessary and blatant that it distracts from the thrust of the plot. The film gets bogged down with heavy-handed scripting, the story

Monsters Inc.

• •

grinds to a halt and the audience is left patiently waiting for the film to start up again. Still, it's refreshing to see a protagonist that doesn't stoop to base emotion and violence for his victory, and instead uses his mind. If only Howard could have done the same, this would have been a truly beautiful film. Paul Booth

7/10

Directed by Pete Docter and David Silverman Starring: John Goodman and Billy Crystal

·-

Hairy, scary and a product tie in with Fairy. Pixar make a welcome return to both the big screen and the high street. Coming to a Happy Mea l , weather report and toy shop near you. Okay guys, it 's now safe to turn off the light and go to sleep with the closet door (or wardrobe if you like) open. With the

release of Monsters Inc . the world of monsters and closets has been exposed. Here 's the truth : the monsters aren't really scary

at all, in fact they're probably more scared of you. Monsters Inc. is the largest scream-producing factory in the monster city of Monstropolis. Every day their employees, "scare teams " are busy entering the bedrooms of children all over the world in order to try and scare them. The screams are collected and used to create energy . The company's motto says it all : · we scare because we care.· James P Sullivan, a big blue and purple furry monster, and Mike Wazowski, a green eyeball with arms and legs, are the best scare team in the company. However there is a scream shortage - children aren't so easily scared now, and tensions are running high, especially between Sully and his rival Randall. Then one night Sully accidentally lets a two-year-old girl into the factory. This spells disaster as any contact between humans and monsters is seen as contamination -the monsters believe that the touch of a human could kill , and so the CDA (Child Detection Agency) are always on hand to deal with any possible contamination. Sully and Mike hide Boo and try to figure out a way of getting her home safely before the CDA, Randall and the CEO of Monsters lnc, Henry J Waternoose, find her. There is a range of stars responsible for the voices. John Goodman plays Sully and Billy Crystal is Mike Wazowski. Squeaky-voiced vamp Jennifer Tilly also makes an appearance as Cella, Mike's girlfriend, repleat with a medusa-esque hairdo. Despite its predictability, the movie rollocks along, although I found Toy Story and A Bugs Life more amusing. it's all too easy to become used to this style of animation, with pioneering films such as Toy Story behind it, but there are still some scenes where the animation in Monsters Inc. manages to improves on its m~:~eh lauded predecessors. The detail of Sully!.s fuF-; for example, is fantastic: it looks incredibly realistic and the chase scene involving thousands of doors is ~unning . Don 't be put of by the fact that this fil is aimed at children, the knowing humour never completely eaves out the inevitable adult section of the audience, making t a good movie for those of us in need of escape from the all too real world. Carolyn Salnsbury

7/10 •

Wednesday, February 13, 2002

(,J 't-:1 '

event

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18 Video/DVD

South West 9

• •

Directed by Richard Parry Starring: Wi 1 John son, Stua rt Laing

Drugs, raves, guns, racism and the destruction of capitalism. A typical day 1 n Brixton, apparently. From the same company that brought you the worthy but ultimately flawed, Human Traffic, comes another Brit ish fil m rooted in club and drug cult ure whic h wants to be accepted for somet hing more than j ust an overlong music video. And South West 9 al most succeeds . However , despite locating itsel f well in Brixton w ith all soci al, gender and raci al t ypes accounted for , South West 9 fails in its bid for cinematic longevity by trying to sell itself as a microcosm of urban life when , fran kly, it's j ust a collect 1on of stories whi ch mak e litt le sense being in t he same fi lm togeth er except for t he imaginary banner above them wh ic h says 'th is is what happens in real life.' Which is a shame, really , since t ec hnically it's a well put together film . Rather than go down the Trainspott ing route and portray a drug-ravaged wastel and , modern day Brixton in South West 9 is given the vibrancy and cosmopolitan atmosphere it deserves thank s in large part t o the energetic and colourful photography . And performances all round are genuinely good, espec ially from the truly disturbing portrayal of LSD-induced madness by newcomer Mark Letheren. Also great , incidentally, to see an appearance by the marvellous and much undervalued Roshan Seth , still remembered by many of us fo r Th e Buddha of Suburbia. The effectiveness of all of these wou ld be increased tenfold if it appeared as if writer/ director Richard Parry knew what he was doing with them . Unfortunately, though , it would seem Parry was so enthused at the prospect of making his debut feature that he

I I

cou ldn't bear to leave any of his ideas from the past few years out of the script. South West 9 seems under t he impression it is a piece of rea lism. However, any semblance of this is lost by mish-mashi ng too many ideas together wi t h the sort of modern Brit ish cinema conventions which try t o make the film look contemporary but actually just make it worn and clic hed . it does itself no favours, for ex ampl e, by int roducing eac h character t hrough freeze-frame and voice-over la Lock Stock ... and Snatch. And although t here is some interesti ng com puter graphics work, it is fa r too crude to si t against the slic kness of the rest of the fil m. Whilst South West 9 is not a particu larly stellar exampl e of modern film-making, t hough, t he DVD release is surprising ly good. Rat her tha n th e usual publicity filler material one would expect from a small film , South West 9 comes with some darn good extras incl uding a refreshingly honest documentary on making the film and a selection of the truly horrific war footage from Russia and the former Yugoslavia with which Parry made his name before moving into films. Most excitingly for film aficionados, though, the disc contains three short films which prove that, despite the trash being released seemingly daily into cinemas, th ere really is a great deal of talent currently hidden within the British film industry. Ironically , it would seem, South West 9's DVD tells us a great deal more about real life in today 's world Phi/ Colvin than the film itself does.

7/1 0

Dead Bolt Dead: Directed by James Rogan Starring : Ariyon Bakare and Neil Stuke

Yet an oth e r coc kney crime caper . But this time with bo l t s! Dead ones ! Try t o contain your exc it ement . Fans of post Lock Stock cinema might like Dead Bolt Dead; it is fully representative of the standard dross that has been turned ollt by British cinema in the wake of Guy Ritch ie's illustrious debut. However, whilst Mr. Madonna's more famous film had a pol ished script that was a breath of fresh air for British cinema , Dead Bolt Dead rots. The film centres on power struggles in two gangster hostage situations; both become horrifically boring by the end. Some may initially be convinced by the d:rectorial style ; which is competent and occasionally original. That originality, though, only lasts about as far as the point when we are introduced to the charac ters by freeze-frame and large captions ... Wait. Doesn't that sound familiar? To try and please cinema buffs, or to make up for its creative ineptitude , Dead Bolt Dead contains many shots deliberately reminiscent of The Usual Suspects, features the music from .Once Upon a Time in the West and has High Noon playing in the background of the boss' gangster pad . However, the reminder that such quality films exist makes you realise how bad this mockney dross really is. Interestingly it is more humanitarian and less violent than other films in the genre , trying to give characters reasons for their actions and sentimentality beneath their faGade of toughness. Unfortunately the ambiguities don't

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Wednesday, February 13, 2002

work . In fact it takes away from the films flow. For we are offered cartoon characters in three dimensions and th is isn't Pixar. The bold attempt to display depth in such caricatures must be commended but it 's an uphill struggle that rings hollow . Ritchie's film by contrast, not stopping for such boring things as characterisation, succeeded as a flashy time filler. The editing reflects this attemp\ at seriousness, with the fast paced cutting we have come to expect in these movies juxtaposed with more theatrical lingering shots. This should be a welcome change but the slowness of the pace fails to realise any cinematic beauty and just helps the movie creak a little bit more. The acting is also fairly mundane but this can be excused by the poor nature of the script. With the exception of Neil Stuke who was so unbearable I hope never to see him again. One sad truth is that the general mediocrity of films such as this will lead to a withdrawal of funding for the British film industry, as the wave of optimism that centred on Ritchie , Danny Boyle and others must be subsiding. Although this movie may be palatable to some, it represents the horrific way that the movie industry tries to replicate successful films but ends up creating boring cliches. Toby Lewls

3/10

Arts 19 Theatre Review: As one of the most frequently adapted Shakespeare plays, it is natural to assume that Hamlet is in danger of becoming overfamiliar. Who really needs to watch yet another brooding Hamlet wrestling with inner turmoil, incapable of pursuing the revenge his dead father, and ultimately Hamlet himself, longs for? lt seems that the guests on Jerry Springer have more incentive and drive than the moody Danish prince who appears intent on reflecting himself and the modern audience to death. However, upon entering The UEA Drama Studio, it was very clear that the Drama Society's adaptation was going to be unique. After a slightly too long overture, performed by ten musicians and six singers, the actors entered in a mi~ture of different styles of costumes, which at first glance looked slightly odd. Laertes was wearing a leather jacket, Claudius a shirt and an overcoat. But as soon as the play was under way, the contemporary costumes complimented the actors and their interpret& tion of the characters. The dialogue had a natural flow, and was carried off beautifully by an astounding array of modern body language. Rather than approaching the lines in a rigid way - as is the case in many adaptations - the actors' interaction with each other was fresh and relaxed, making the spectator almost forget that this was a Shakespearian tragedy and not an informal meeting in the Bowl over a coffee. Seth Sinclair's portrayal of Hamlet was a strong and believable one. Dressed entirely in black, he cut a powerful figure on stage, managing to reach out to the audience in his moving and nuanced interpretation of Hamlet. He delivered the famous "To Be or Not To Be" soliloquy on a caged platform above the dark stage, his tall figure lit up, giving an intense effect in this cru-

Hamlet Drama Studio cial part of the play. The true power of Shakespeare is that his plays are open for interpretation. No two adaptations are the same, and the UEA

Drama Society's has managed to stage an original and modern production, bringing Hamlet into the 21st Century. Beam me up Scotty! Brltt Juste

Exhibition Preview: The Body Norwich Castle Museum

Theatre Review:

This kaleidoscope of works at Norwich Castle relating to the human body looks set to be extremely interesting. The works span the 20th Century from beginning to end, with a melee of famous names, including Bacon, Giacometti, De Kooning, Picasso, Matisse and Degas. A work by Bruce Nauman is featured which hopefully should give the exhibition a chaotic bent. Its second gallery will apparently "emphasi~e the way artists have used the body to convey human emotion and psychological states,· which one would assume is a major feature of most art but also implies a good bit of post second world war angst. Long live John-Paul Sartre! The Degas featured are unsurprisingly dancers. This should excite people that are into subtle movement and mannequin style coquetry. Much nudity should abound as artists unsurprisingly find bodies hindered in their beauty by those things called clothes. If the form of the body portrayed here is not to your liking, you will also have taken a great day out to the c;astle and for a slight extra fee you can pop round the permanent collection. The blurb abounds with exciting words, such as radical, nakedness, feminist, existential, vulnerable and isolated. lt therefore seems unlikely this exhibition won't provide some mind-blowing stimulus for those who opt to go. Enjoy . Toby Lewls

This week sees the return of JRR Tolkien's best selling novel The Hobbit to the Theatre Royal in Norwich. The production has been adapted by Glyn Robbins who has also produced adaptations of the CS Lewis Narnia classics, most notably The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Theatre lovers are promised a thrilling adventure of magic and illusion as Gandalf the Sorcerer leads Bilbo Baggins through the treacherous world of Middle . Earth. The production is taking place during half term week, which may suggest it is aimed at children and younger families. But don 't be deterred! The promise of vicious goblins and the seemingly impenetrable misty mountains make the production worth a second look. The play can even serve as a gentle introduction to a long and complex novel if you don't feel like reading it all. Is it worth seeing then? I can't help but feel that the prospect of a live Bilbo Bagglns and magical stage illusions will help those enthralled by the novel to feel closer to Tolkien's masterpiece. The implications for staging and costume are quite exciting and the novel gives so much scope to creativity. This production might just provide the light rel ief needed for us UEA students. I 'm certainly intrigued. •The Hobblt will be perfonned Tuesday, January 12 to Saturday Sarah Kateley February 16

Exhibition Preview:

The Hobbit

Theatr~

Royal

At Sea Sainsbury Centre for Visual Arts At Sea, the new exhibition at the Sainsbury's Centre for Visual Arts promises to be a real visual treat. Previously shown to critical acclaim at the Tate Liverpool last summer, the exhibition is split into four sections: Contemplation, Threat and Danger, Myth and Narrative, and Holidays and Leisure. it features works from 14 contemporary artists and encompasses a wide variety of different media forms. The themes have an obvious cultural relevance to Norwich, with the coast and North Sea being so close. But, generally, the sea is still a subconscious component of all our lives and the images fuel curiosity and awe we all hold to be true. Being transported into an enchanting underwater world on a dreary February morning has an obvious appeal. Highlights include Chris Welsby's video installation, Tideline (1999) and Mat Collishaw 's unusual projection, Love on the Rocks (1999). As well as the elaborate audio-visual installations, the exhibition includes many other highlights. Sue Arrowsmlth's huge canvases invoke thoughts of a warmer climate, whilst Hiroshi Sugimoto's brooding photography requires a little more contemplation. This is an excellent exhibition and well worth a visit, if only to distract you from the weather outside and allow you to indulge in a little escapism. •The exhibition runs from February 12 to April 28

Joel Turner

W.ednesdaYl .:,Fe.t>.ruaJ)y ) l3, , 2002

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20 TV /Radio

Miss Th i s· Sm il e

BBC 01 Sundays 9.00am

Chances are that you will probably be in bed at nine o'clock on a Sunday m'orning but. if for some st range reason you don't have a hang over. you cou ld watc h Smile. However . after be ing incessantly patronised for three hours you'll probably feel as though you do . According to CBBC , it "gives viewers a brandnew reason to get up and out of bed on a Sunday morning " but as far as I can see, all it g ives student s is another reason to slee p. it 's presented by Fearne Cotton ( Oiggit , Eureka TV) and Reggie Yat es (Grange- Hill), both of whom have grins from ear to ear and are j ust too happy for early morning . To celeb rate the first show, a boy band that no one has ever heard of, 3SL, joins the team . They will be giving some tips on how to become a successful boy band, wh ich seems a bit iron ic real ly. The only amusing part of the show is Regg ie's and DJ Devstar's ultimate guide to what's new on the dance floor. lt ·s good for a laugh, but please, please don't try these moves out at the LCR or your fri ends will never talk to you again. The only appealing aspect of watching it is that, for a few short hours. you might forget about the stresses of adult life by tricking yourself that you are a child again. The only problem with t his is that when you turn the TV off, your essay for Monday is still going to be sitting on your desk unwritten. My advice? If you are going to procrastinate. at least watch something decent. Swap channels and watch Hol/yoaks! No fake smiles th eret Gemma Whitfield

Ess ential TVOl: Horizon: Para l lel Universes BB C 02 Thursday 14th Febr uary 9 . 00 pm You have a nine o'clock lecture. it's raining. You have three essays due. and you 're having the worst bad hair day ever. Sound famil iar? If it does , comfort is at hand with this week ·s Honzon. Scientists now believe that somewhere out there exists an infinite number of parallel universes. with only subtle differences. So theoretica ll y, somewhere the sun is shining, you're graduating with a fi rst and have the hair of Jennifer Anniston! The possibil ity of parallel universes has been a staple of sc ience fiction writers for years , but scientrst s never took the idea seri ously. The concept was finally made real by t hree American sc ientists work ing on theories of hyperspace. dark matter and others ideas usually relegated to Star Trek. Th ey discovered the t hree dimensions we apparently exist in just aren't enough, and decided that eleven seemed a more realistic number. This idea led them to the suggestion of our

Mee t The Liv ewire OJs

BEATS

Mon days 6-7p m

universe being just one of a number of bubbles floating among . an infinite number of simi lar. but slightly different . bubbles. Not content with reducing our universe to Fai ry Liqu id, the scientists then decided the Big Bang , the accepted beginning of our universe , came about with the collision of two parallel universes. Th is means that t he Big Bang was not the start of everyth ing after all- time and space existed long before. This theo ry has led scientists to fear that if a co ll ision started our un iverse. a similar crash could end it. If we really are floating amongst a sea of other universe bubbles, it seems a fair bet that, eventually, two would clash and implode. Sure to be full of scientific mumbo-jumbo, this programme does actuall y sound wo rth a look , if only to give you a decent reason for not bothering with any more essays. Well, we are on a coll ision course after all... Amy Bennett

Es s ential TV02: Because You' r e Worth It C4 Wednesday February 13 9.00pm A must for anyone who refuses to go to even a nine o'clock lecture without cu rling their eyelashes. Because You 're Worth it takes a look at the world of make-up, and the effect it has had on women ' s lives. If you remember stealing your mum's lipstick to use on you r Barb ie doll, or giving yo ur best friend the highly fashionable blue eyeshadow and pink lipstick "Pat But che r" look aged eight. then you w ill surely know that make-up is the best toy for grown-up girls too . Even today . borrow ing a stranger's lipgloss in the bathrooms at the LCR is a bonding experience. Th e fi rst programme of the series focuses on the history of the cosmetics industry and the people who made it possible: Max Factor. Elizabeth Arden , Helena Rubenste in and, the British favour ite, Avon. The programme includes interviews w ith beauty historians (which I hope w ill soon be a degree subject! ) and ordinary people. The second programme comes up to date. with a look at make-up for black skin, the controversy over animal testing , anti-w rinkle c reams and. for the terminal cases of cosmetic addi c tion, cosmetic surgery. Rachael McDowel

BEATS : Luke Kavanagh . Colly Wolinski and Richard King What sort of music do you play? Anything with a repetitive beat, mostly drum ·n· bass . hip hop, funk and a bit of soul. and nearly always on viny l. We mostly just play music on the show: we don't tend to talk much. If we have something to say then we 'll say it! it would be good to get more listeners ca lling in th ough. Do you DJ anywhere else then? No not rea lly. unless you count playing to the cat and dogmassive in the Earlham area. We've been offered things , but we're not sure our music fits in to the UEA lifestyle . Th at's why we went for the Head of Music position at Livewire. so next year we can make an impact. So where do you guys go out? We go anywhere the feeling takes us! Usual ly the Waterfront ,

but the music is all pretty poor up here. Luke's from London and he goes to Fabric all the t ime. But there's not really much happening in Ireland , where Colly is fro m, unless you go to Dublin . What are your best and worst beats ? There ' s loads of stuff on our show that we .don't even know the names to! Lot's of re-mixes. Rapper's Delight by The Sugarhill Gang is one of ou r favourites. We can 't stand the Bare Necessities rem ix that somehow made its way onto our show , and the Super M aria Brothers is another awful tune! Do you want to continue in music when you finish university? On ly if it pays we ll! Colly plans on being the next pop idol! Our main ambit ion is to have a bigger crew than the So Solid, with a dog as we ll! Compiled by Mo Grills

Co nte s tan t .App eal You 're smart, funny and popular ... .. .Or are you? Maybe it's t ime we found out. New ITV big money gameshow show is looking for contestants . For an application form: Call: 020 8222 4548 Em ail: 2002BC@endemoluk.com (Appl ication form s to be returned by 01/03/0 2) PREPAR E TO BE JU DGED BY THE NATION!

Wednesday, February 13, 2002

event

TV/Radio 21

Essential Soaps There 's nothing we love more than a good soap wedding , and where better to hold it than 'daaahn ' Albert Square . The whole community is united briefly this week to witness the nuptials between Dot and Jim. However, Dot is worried that no one seems interested in coming and as Jim learns of his 'surprise' stag do in the Vie, Pauline spills the beans to Dot on the wedding day plans. As the neighbours arrive in their droves, Dot decides to pay a visit to the one person who would want to see her happy , Ethel perhaps? No , she 's dead. Nick? Surely not! Meanwhile, Sonia is busy putting the guilt-trip on Jamie concern ing his rendezvous with Janine , building up to a crescendo on Thursday when she literally explodes. Ok , so she doesn 't explode. but she does get pretty mad. lt looks like the game's up for Janine (i s that coke on your nose or have you just been bak ing?) and her little ·secret ' as Terry spots her with a strange man before being asked for another enormous loan . Oh Janine , didn 't you see what it did to Sam? She went away without her septum and came back from Spain with a full-face transplant. And it looks like we 'll be losing Mark and Lisa, as they plot their elopement from the square. Oh, hang on , no we won 't because Easter sees their plans thrown into explosive disarray . I'd take that literally if I were you . Boom. Over in Chester, Adam is still trying to come to terms with his injuries, and starts having doubts as to whether he can adjust to life on the outside. Brian finds himself victim of a revenge plot by Steph and Zara , but manages to outwit the gothic wenches causing their plans to backfire. He 's also got enough on his plate with Lisa, who asks him to attend a session with her psychologist this week , maybe he'll tell him that wearing black is not productive to your mood . And that his music sucks. Meanwhile Alex and Anna try to reach an agreement over baby Charlie's future, and I'm not alone in really hoping they agree to st ay together and play happy families. Hol/yoaks needs at least one cheerful character nowadays, it 's turning into Eastenders. What next, 'Chloe, I slept with your uncle, he 's fatter than you! ' Down-under we have the return of another dead character. As if Harold 's re-appearance wasn 't ridiculous enough , Woody 'but where 's the body?' waltzes back into Steph's life, just as she 's getting it on with a new fella. Unsurprisingly, this raises a few complications, and he sinks low to win back his blonde biker's affections. Romantic problems are on the horizon in the Kennedy household too as yummy-mummy Susan 's jealous streak comes to the fore-front. The Neighbours writers have obviously realised what a fox Karl is and have given him some more tatty in the surgery , but would he be stupid enough to repeat the same mistake? Elln Jones

BUSINESS MANAGEMENT IN SALES AND MARKETING Are you a competitive and highly self motivated team player, looking to progress as quickly as your talents and personality will let you? If you answered Yes to this question, then a graduate career with Enterprise Rent-A-Car could be just what you are looking for. We are looking to recruit highly energetic, sales orientated individuals who are willing to work hard, and have the same commitment to customer service that Enterprise has established over the years. We are looking for the Managers of our future. We offer a fast track into Management working for a privately held, multi-billion pound corporation; our need is to find individuals capable of continuing our phenomenal growth in the UK, repeating the success stories of North America and Canada. Your job will be to learn all aspects of our business from the ground floor up, dealing with all functions of running your own small business in the decentralised structure we operate. One of the great things about Enterprise is that its up to you how quickly you get to the top.

If you are a graduate, who thinks they can make the most of these opportunities, please send your CV with a covering letter to: Miss ]ass Rutherford, Enterprise Rent-A-Car, HR Dept U71, Beechwood House, Depot Road, Newmarket, Suffolk, CBB OAL. Email jrutherford@erac.com

Recruiting for locations across the East England area. www.erac.com.

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tJ 31if:1i~]it.-ta rent-a-car

We are an equal opportunity employer.

Wednesday, February 13, 2002

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lS Film:

British Animation Awards Cinema City Sats 15, 23 From Hell UCI daily

Campus

Gosford Park UCI daily

All films start at 8.30pm and are shown in LTl Some Like it Hot Thursday, Feb 14

Training Day UCI , Ster Century daily Vanilla Sky UC I, Ster Century daily Va Savoir Cinema City Wed 13, Thu 14

Iris UCI daily

Kiss of the Dragon Friday , Feb 15

Just Visiting UC I daily

The Iron Ladies Tuesday, Feb 19 America 's Sweethearts Thursday, Feb 21 Bandits Friday, Feb 22 The Matrix Tuesday. Feb 26

City

Music:

Lord Of The Rings UCI, Ster Century daily

Gigs

Millers Crossing UCI Tuesday only

Mondays

Monsoon Wedding Cinema City Fri 15-Sat 23

Hem, Rick Sheppard Norwich Arts Centre February 18 £6 adv

Oceans Eleven UC I Thursday previews

Blue Velvet Cinema City Wed 13, Thu 14

Shallow Hal

Wednesdays Rawkus 'Live ' Part 11: Subvert, Moonjuice, Bleed 13, Amaranth , Rawkus DJ's Waterfront February 13 £5 adv Susheela Raman Norwich Arts Centre February 20 £8.50 , £7.50 cons

Thursdays

Long Time Dead UC I daily

Monsters Inc. UC I. Ster Century dail y

Black Hawk Down UC I, Ster Century dai ly

-r

Harry Potter UCI, Ster Century dai ly Cinema City Wed , Thu , Sun

UC I, Ster Century daily

An Evening of Cheese: Big band, jazz voices, brass quintet plus more Party in the Hive February 18

need to talk?

Eeeblee, Posta Lowa, Fake Ideal Norwich Arts Centre February 14 £4.50 adv

Twisted Skunk I Bottom Heavy Po Na Na Discoflde Breakbeat 1 funky breaks and be ats and Latin grooves. Free b4 10pm, £2 after.

Butter Me Up I Underdog Po Na Na Funk y house I jazz beats £3 after 9pm

The LCR disco LCR (duh)

Sunday Service Manhattans £2.50

£3 Charty Handbaggy The Loft Gay ni ght DJs Bedfords Crypt Deep tech tr ibal house Free entry

Fridays

Bearsuit, Fix lt Kid, Evader Ferryboat February 21 £3.50

Skool Daze Disco February 22 LCR £5

Fridays

Delirium The Concept House. garage and R n' B.

Jinrai Acid Jazz Ferryboat February 22 Five Acre Ligts Norw ich Arts Centre February 15 £3 adv

Clubs

Hy Times Hys Dance anthems £3

Wednesdays Superfly Bar Metro Funk and hip-hop £3

Gorgeous Manhattans Hardhouse and Trance £5 b4 11pm

Meltin ' Pot The Alibi Jazz, funk and sou l

Elegance Bar Metro

Jitterbug 1 Jam Po Na Na Funky drum'n'bass 1 house Free b4 10pm, £2 after

Parkside Po Na Na House Free b4 9pm, £3 after.

WeRK Manhattans

Thursdays

Mondays Flockin ' Sheep Ikon Charts and commercial dance £2 b4 11pm Play Po Na Na Disco , funk Free

Tuesdays Funk Friction Owens cafe Bar Life .Time Commercial dance £1 (NUS)

Hot Ikon Pop and commerical dance £4 b4 11pm Marvel I Gas Station The Loft Hi p hop, funk £3 b4 11pm, £4 after.

Flockin ' Sheep Ikon Charts and Cheese £2 b4 11pm

Sundays

R n' B

Saturdays Faith feat. Boy George February 23 LCR £9 Meltdown The Waterfront lndie

Arts: Theatre Henry V Maddermarket Theatre February 21-March 1 Shakespeare is coming to the Maddermarket, complet e with war and patriotism. One of Shakespeare 's most ambiguous plays, it has managed to divide critics across the centuries. Fame February 18-23 ''I'm gonna live forever ... " Inspired by the film, the musi· cal is so far proving to be just as big a hit, portraying the dreams and disappoint ment s of the star struck pupils of New York's Performing Arts school.

£41£3

Oust one of our many fre.e ~ervibe~)

ueanightli.ne call us: 503 504 or pop in: norlolk terrace c 03.12 open 8pm- 8am term-time I more info: www.uea.ac.uklnightlin~

Isotonic .. J 1):<' Status Kafe Da The Con cept Progressive trance Bnd .)louS'e Chart and retro Free -:"' ',. £3 b4 11pm, £3 .50 after Spank Refresh Time Ikon House £5 b4 11pm £1 b4 11pm (NUS) Bassment Bar Metro R·n ·B and hi p hop

Satu rday Rewind Bar Met ro Chart, dance, garage

The ·Duchess of Malfi M inotaur Production, Drama Studi o Febru ary 20-22 This is going to. be a 'new' production of John Webster's classic play of revenge and violence . The text has been cut ard adapted to foc us on Webst er' s darker themes of be t rayal, the price of immor· tality and th e confusion and intangibil ity of identity .

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Livewire Schedule:

The D1rectory: •

ABC Taxis All Star Taxis Beeline Taxis Bettacar Taxis Five Star Taxis Loyal Taxis Canary Cue Club Cinema City Hy's Ikon Liquid Maddermarket Theatre Mojo's Manhattans Norwich Arts Centre Norwich Playhouse Po Na Na · s Ster Century Theatre Royal The Loft The Waterfront Tourist Information Time UEA Studio UCI UEA Union Ents

01603 01603 01603 01603 01603 01603

666333 744444 767676 747474 455555 619619

01603 627478 01603 622047 01603 621155 01603 621541 01603 611113 01603 620917 01603 62253:3 01603 629060 01603 660352 01603 598598 01603 619961 01603 221900 01603 630000 01603 623559 01603 632717 01603 666071 0870 6078463 01603 592272 0870 0102030 01603 508050

Monday: 8-10am: TBA 10-11am: Dairy Display 11am-12pm: Cheese with Mo 12-1pm: Kieran's Show 2-3pm: Frontier Psychiatry 4-5pm : At Large ... 5-6pm: Failed attemps at humour

Tuesday: 8-10am: TBA 10-11am: The Narch Buffet 11am-12pm: Natter and lndie 12-1pm: Magical Mystery 1-2pm: Retro and comedy 2-3pm: Choose or die! 3-4pm: The people's choice 4-5pm : Back to basics

Wednesday: 8-9am: Funkadelic 9-10am: Hip hop and breaks 10-11am: Musical excursions 11am-12pm: Chat and choons 12-1pm: Milk and cook1es 1-2pm: American lndie 2-3pm : Ben and Jonny 3-4pm : Afternoon frivolity 4-5pm: Illegally Blonde

Thursday: 8-9am: Far from home ... 9-10am: Music and comedy 10am-12pm: TBA

Wednesday.

12-1pm: Eight foot pigeon 1-2pm: lndie and humour 2-3pm: Vanishmg Point 3-4pm: lndie/Hip Hop/R& B 4-5pm: Mental Institute

Friday: 8-9am: Far from home 9-10am: Music and comedy 10-11am: The hangover cure 11am-12pm: Chilled out toons 12-1pm: The Love Boat 1-2pm: Non-stop cheese 2-3pm: The Untitled Show 3-4pm: Punk/Rock/Ska 4-5pm: Random wibble

Saturday: 9-11am: The Radio 11am-12pm: Dancing Round ... 12-1pm: lndie/ Alternative 1-2pm: Right Hand of Jam 2-3pm: Ad Hoc Comedy 3-4pm: The Groove Bus 4-5pm: D1sco and lndie

Sunday: 9-10am: Norfolk 'n' Good 10am-11am: Cunning musical 11am-12pm: Good to you 12-1pm: 60s and 70s 1-2pm: Sunday Review 2-3pm: News and Current Affairs 3-4pm: Not Simon Mayo

February 13. 2002

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