The event issue 136 27 02 2002

Wednesday, February 27, 2002

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Plus: Interviews/ I Andrew WK. Simon Scharna, Shane Lynch · Features// Celebrities everybody loves to hate Reviews// Soundsplash, Beverly Knight and more ·

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Picture : Andrew WK (mte rvr ewed on page 4 )

n i de: 03 Bi t s and Piece s

12 Anth ony Stewart Head 'Who?' I hear you ask. Well what about Giles from Buffy The Vampire Slayer? Ring any bells? Yes. the man himself chats to The Event about coffee, Sarah M ichelle Gellar and his brand new show, Manchild.

Competition: Celebrating 25 years of The Muppets.

Plus. the winning entry for last issue 's Mills & Boon corn petition is published.

04 And rew WK The newest protagonist of old-skool metal proves that nice guys don't always finish last.

Kn owledge My Bloody Valentine

05 Inqui s itor Jet pi ane Landing

06 Simon Sc hama The acclaimed historian and author talks to The Event about his latest venture, the BBC produ ced, History of Britain .

07 Liv e Review: Sound spla sh The Event takes a look at the recent popu lar gig showcasing UEA bands.

Reviews: 14 Albums/Live Beverly Knight; Biffy Clyro; Lambchop; Sahara Hotnights

15 Sin gle s Westlife; White Stripes; Gomez: Gorillaz; Cornershop

16 Film Royal Tenenbaums; Don "t Say A Word; Hearts of Atlantis.

18 Vide o Moulin Rouge: A Knight 's Tale

19 Arts Duchess of Malfi; Henry V: The Hobbit

20 TV/Radio Simpsons Week; Jordan: The Truth About Me; Grammys: Soaps: Meet the DJs

Movie Rum our s Another slice of Hollywood gossip from The Event ·s own stateside critic.

08 Famil y Trauma US te levision giants. FOX. recently cancelled cult cartoon Family Guy. much to the protestation of a substantial fan base. not to mention several FOX executives. Matt Groening's Futurama is set to go the same way. We take a look at the damage.

09 We Hate You So Muc h Ri ght Now With a senes of national hate figures having recently been publislled, we take a look at the celebrities everybody loves to hate.

10 Sha ne Ly nc h Boyzone·s very own bad boy chats to The Event about the l1ighs and lows of once being part of the most famous boy band in the world.

Cinefile Little Shop Of Horrors

11 Circus of Horrors We chat to Dr . Haze, the ringmaster of freak show extraor dinaire. C1rcus of Horrors.

Listings: 22 Li sting s The best guide to what's happening in Norwicl1

Editor-in-Chief · Adam Chapman • Editor · Markland Starkie • Arts Editor · Charlotte Ronalds • Film Editor · Merek Cooper • Assistant Film Editor · Phil Colvin • Music Editor · Anthony Lovell • Assistant Music Editor· Kieren McSweeney • TV/ Radio Editor · Liz Hutchinson • Assistant TV/ Radio Editor · Gemma O'Donnell • Picture Editor · Ed Webb-lngall • Text · Paul Booth · Claire Burwell · Dave Garner · Mo Grills · Emily Knee · Madeleine Lesnie · Ki ren Mitra · Sophie Nelson · Ed Purkis · Matt Sargeson · Anna Savage · Jodie Squires · Joel Turner · Zac Walsh · Jim Whalley

The Event is published fortnightly by Concrete : Post: PO Box 410, Norwi eh, NR4 7TB Tel: 01603 250558 Fax : 01603 506822 E- mail: su.concrete@uea . ac.uk Printed by: Easte r n Counties Newspaper s . St Andrew's Business Park, Norwich

Bits and Pieces

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Competition ••

• Mills & Boon w1nner:

Win Muppets paraphenal ia and a bouquet of flowers.

Last i <, '\ lle we d ) k t:> your own Mi 1l s & B VII Here i s the Winning r) i ce. ()

"Kissy! Kissy!, Miss P1ggy here. Now that Valentine 's Day is over and we are entering The Season Of Love, (for mo1, the twelve months following February 14), moi has prepared a few top tips to guarantee that special tingly just-kissed feeling. So , read on. girls, and pucker up ...

1. Never use the word "commitment· in h1s presence. For reasons that baffle medical experts, men hear this as "you're a dead man" 2. You should always go into a relationshiP knowmg you can change him- after all, if you can't - Why bother? Where's the fun? Where's the challenge?

3. Just make sure he's paying - his wallet size is directly pro portional to his feelings for you.

4. Outright dishonesty (how else do you expect to get what vous want!).

5. If all else fails - threaten to break a leg (His of course!)

Hiiiiiiii-yaaa!!!!"

Of course if that doesn't work you can always enter the Muppets competition, which celebrates the 25th anniversary of The Muppets. To butter up your loved one simply complete the fol lowing sentence; Q. My darling [name of loved one here] Is most like [name of a Muppet here] because ......

And Miss Piggy will choose her favourite- one winner per student publication.

Then send in the name and address of the hopeful recipient with a short personal message to the em ail address below, along with the name of your Student newspaper.

The winner's chosen loved one will be sent a £30 interflora bouquet along with a Kermit doll and stylish Miss Piggy Tshirt - but beware, your Muppet message will be sent along with your personal message!!

• Don 't send your entries to Concrete. Send them instead to: ukpr@henson.com And be quick! The entry deadline is Thursday February 28.

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Mary had been 1n such a dream that day that she had not not1ced the horseman. Her eyes and thoughts were focused on the nppling hmds of the sweaty steeds 1n front of her as she skillfully gu1ded the old wooden cart toward the village. Would she ever find the man of her dreams. a man worthy and lovmg enough to take her 1nto the next stage of womanhood? it was because of th1s lack of concentration that she d1d not see S1r Thrustmg gallopmg on a masterful black stallion toward her. H1s face was the last thing that she remembered as the cart overturned mto the ditch and she lost consc1ousness.

A week later Mary awoke to complete darkness. The true pnce of her daydreammg reared 1ts ugly head Mary had lost her s1ght. Suddenly she felt a hand on her cheek, warm and soft; l1ke the adonng nuzzle of a small puppy . "What has happened to me? Where am I?" Mary called hopelessly mto the darkness.

The vo1ce that answered was low and calming, send1ng a sensa t1on down Mary 's spine unl1ke any she had ever felt before .

"There was an accident. You can live here now, I intend to take care of you ... Mary 's face broke into a sm1le of overwhelming gratitude , reveal1ng to her nurse how beautiful and perfect her mouth was. The exp1ession was not returned. although Mary could not see this, for the man who had taken her in was the man who felt that he was responsible for the terrib le accident that fateful day. it was none other than Sir Thrusting who, wracked by gu1lt. decided to dedicate the rest of h1s life to servmg Mary. Months passed and turned to years, Mary·s health and sight slowly progressmg all the t1me. Eventually, the day that Sir Thrusting had been dread1ng did eventually come: that Mary 's s1ght would return and she would see a face 1n h1m that would repulse her. He had taken Mary her breakfast 1n her bedroom and , as she opened her eyes. he could tell that Mary was able to see the world agam. But her reaction was quite different and quite better than any he could have wished for . " Good gracious s1re , I had hoped all these days that the manly f1gure that has gu1ded me was yours! .. She fell into his muscular bulgmg arms and embraced him f1rmly on the mouth. Their ex pectat10ns had been fulfilled - he had not lost the woman that he loved and she had found a more than worthy man to make her, slowly and lovmgly, mto the woman that 1t was t1me she became.

Sophie Nelson

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Knowledge: - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - no. 60

My B ooay Valentine

Who are they?

A seminal artjnoise rock band with members hailing from London and Dublin. who hung around With other such cheerful types as the Jesus and Mary Chain and Primal Scream m the late ·sos. practically mventmg the ·shoegazmg· movement m the process.

Seminal? How so?

Take a listen to their class1c 1991 opus. Loveless. to hear a sound that 1gnored all that had gone before 1t . and continues to perplex those who come to 1t over a decade later. lt is a lavish spectacle of how much one ca n warp and re-shape the sound t hat comes from the humble guitar. Largely produced by vocalist/guitarist Kevin Shields, the tracks are stretched, crushed, torn and disf1gured through endless post-production of the the1r 1nitial elements: yet the mus1c retains its natural beauty due to the canny ability of Shields to write world class melod1es t hat refuse to die under the we1ght of the white noise that they're trapped under. The interplay between Shields· and (fellow vocallstjgultanst) Belinda Butcher's vocals IS also Jaw-droppmg m both its ethereal beauty and overt sensuality.

Sounds positively scrumptious! What else have they done?

A debut LP entitled lsn 't Anything is a more straight-forward affa1r. with (gasp!) diStinguishable lyrics and some very Simply recorded guitars m places that sound positively primal when heard next to .say. Loveless's Only Shallow. Also. several EPs. includmg the eas1ly available EP. entitled Glider. w1th more early. harder to find works best sought out on the 1111port EP collection Ecstacy and Wine .

Most rock and roll thi ng t hey've ever done?

Well. spend1ng t11ree years and £500.000 on an 11 track album (Loveless). near cnppling your indepent label (Creation Records) IS pretty darned cool in anyone's books ... so IS not realeas1ng anything new in over a decade for that matter ...

So what are they doing now?

Lord knows. Sh1elds IS rumoured to have destroyed large col lect1ons of follow up matenal because he felt it couldn't bet ter Loveless. Was last heard of trying to "overdub feed back ... sendmg countless sound engmeers runn1ng from h1s studio for fear of losing the1r heanng . The nutter Are they influential?

We I. Jesus and Mary Cham and Sonic Youth have generically s1m1lar sounds. but for my money the best band to be Influenced by MBV is Japanese punk outfit Gu1tar Wolf. 1n particular their album Planet Of The Wolves. wh1ch has some trul y fantastiC trac ks hidden bellmd product 1011 values w1t11 all the grace of a monkey w1th a d1ctaphone .

In Retrospect: Close your eyes/ Feel me now I don·t know lwv. you could not love me now ..

Matthew Sargeson

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a splash

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The Event faces the music again at the second Soundsplash of the year. Text: Anthony Lovell t's a deserved and necessary promotion to the LCR for Soundsplash. The Hive was never the best place to listen to the best that the Contemporary Music Society has to offer, and the bigger stage and better sound means that tonight, the art ists are given a much better platform to ply their wares. And rising to the occasion with some style is opener Sarah-Jayne. it's always a pleasure to encounter natural talent, and she perform~ a delightful set of Carole King-esque songs, backed up with her own extremely accomplished piano playing.

Leaving the stage after a too short 25 minute set, it's a case of follow that if you can. Superb.

From the sublime to the hilarious then! Treating us to a range of comedy vocals and lyrics, Stonasaurus are great. Coming on like those two guys from Dude, Where's My Car? would if you gave them microphones and told them that there was a Camberwell carrot in it if they got on a stage and pretended to be the Beastie Boys, they have little more intent than to tell us about the joys of dope smoking. There's been some clever work done musically though, with good samples blending in with the hard-hitting beats. Chronically funny.

Plenty of bands have made a career out of being solid. Burning Man have a decent set of songs, and they make all the right indie moves. To be honest though, that is all you can really say about this five piece act. They are straight ahead tunesmiths and good musicians who will find an audience, but really lack the x-factor to propel them onwards and upwards. In short, they are very, very okay.

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it 's a Sunday night, and Stable Will are being idiots. Or so their guitarist tells us. Now minus the cellist, they certainly sound a lot tidier. This is not in evidence for the first two songs though, as they are quite simply awful, messy and lumpen. But from then on, it's like watching a different band. Everything clicks together, and they prove that they do have some good stuff in their repertoire. Frontgirl Fil is an arresting presence with a fine voice, but what the band have to do is keep on playing when they have built up a head of steam. Their between song banter prevents them from gathering the momentum needed, and turns what could have been an excel lent display into a merely good one.

Rising from third on the bill at the last Soundsplash to tonight's headliners, V 4 Vendetta turn in another good showing. There are nods to a number of rock acts, but the band are possessed of enough talent (particularly the drummer) to ensure that they retain their individuality. Once again, they trade heavily off the charisma, presence and voice of frontman lsaac, and perhaps some more animation from the guitarist and the bassist wouldn't go amiss. But overall they have probably the strongest set of songs of the three guitar bands on the bill, and are well worth their place as the closing act. it's another good night from the CMS then. Hopefully the LCR will become the permanent home of this event, as it plainly did make a difference in terms of the all important sound quality.

There 's talent in this here university · so turn up to the next Soundsplash and you'll be able to judge for yourselves.

"Stonasaurus come on like the two guys out of Dude Where's My Car? would if you gave them microphones."

Above: Jon Crawford of Stable Will at Soundsplash In the LCR

Movie Rumours ••

Despite being viciously snubbed in the Oscar invitation mailout, our man across the pond engages his British stiff upper lip and carries on regardless. Text: Jim Whalley ther than t he widely reported race to get Alexander the Great movies into production, nmthing particularly cataclysmic has happened in Hollywood over the last couple of weeks. The recent announcement of the Oscar nominations probably means everyone is too busy pl anning their outfits for the ceremony. Luckily a few brave soul s have found sufficient space in their preening sc hedules to place pen to paper and sign a contract or two. The resulting deals are something of a mixed bag ...

The absolute worst news of the fortnight comes courtesy of Warner Bros., who have announced that their long-planned restart of the Superman franchise has found a f)ew director.

Back in 1999 the project was close to fi lming with Tlm Burton directing and Nlcholas Cage as the man of steel, but finance and script problems resulted in an indefinite cancellation .

Suddenly everything is moving again , now under the supervision

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party promoter Michael Alig. Alig became famous in the early nineties for killing his drug dealer with an injection of drain cleaning fluid and dumping him in the Hudson River. If only Culkin had tried the same trick on the burglars in Home Alone.

Isn't it always the case that you wait years for one big-budget blockbuster about abnormally talented Victorian adventurers, and then two come along at once? First Sean Connery has agreed to star in The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, an adaptation of the comic book of the same name. The premise has a selection of classic novel characters (including the Invisible Man, Dr. Jeckyll, Captain Nemo and Mina from Dracula) joining forces for a secret mission at the behest of the Queen.

Cannery is t o pl ay Allan Quartermain, hero of King Soloman's Mines by H. Rider Haggard. . Then there is word that Jude Law is considering the lead in Sherlock Holmes and the Vengeance of Dracula. Other than the

falls in love with a scientist researching the possibility of solid clouds. The patented Labute Nasty Factor in this sweet sounding tale is that much of the romance occurs after Zellwegger 's character has been forcibly imprisoned by the scientist in a specially constructed cell. Later, upon her release, she returns the favour. While the director does seem to be leaning more towards happy endings these days, you can be sure Vapor won't be a candidate for the Julia Roberts rom-com crowd.

"Macaulay Culkin will return as a New York party promoter who killed his drug dealer with an injection of drain fluid. If only he'd tried the same tr i ck on the burglars in Home Alone." of McG , the uni-monikered grinning buffoon who presided over Charlie 's Angels. The thought of Superman stumbling around deploying sub-Matrix kung fu on his foes to the sound of an eclectic rock soundtrack is too horrible to dwell on.

Nearly as bad , however, is that Rachel Miner's ex -husband is returning to the silver screen. The last time Macaulay Culkln made a movie was in 1994 when he received eight million dollars for the chronic flop Richie Rich. Many had begun to assume they would never have to deal with his wide-eyed, screaming visage ever again. Unfortunately, in 2003 he will return in Party Monster, a five million dollar independent bio-pic of New York

fantastic plot encapsulating title, the movie has already found fame for its script by first-time-writer Michael Valle. lt sparked a bidding war two years ago between the major studios, eventually going to Columbia Pictures for almost a million bucks. Chrls Columbus originally expressed interest in directing, but then got involved with some little-known film series about a boy wizard.

For those left cold by blockbusters and child stars, the best story of late is that everyone 's favourite people-hating auteur, Nell Labute, is planning a reunion with his Nurse Betty star, Renee Zellwegger. The duo intend to film Amanda Filipacchi 's novel Vapor with Zellwegger as an Oscar-winning actress who

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Dysfunction 1n the • Fami ly •

Valentine ' s Day SdW the axing of cult +dvouri te fdmily Guy. dftpr several atterrpts to push i t the ';Id n s t r dm Bu~ Wr1S it' + d i Jre r ea ly r"Jt 11"'•1' t h ; "'r1 dowr t 0 ~) 0 J r I, I ( \"Jl nq figurr o· ~u t Thf) F ~I ' t 1 r ' p] t · g a LP Text: Zac Walsh I

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et's examine Peter Griffins top three achievements: 1) Going undercover as '' Lando" Griffin and infiltrating his daughter's school in order to sort out the drugs problem. 2) Spending a full two weeks narrating his own life.

3) Turning his house into a giant puppet and sitting inside with a megaphone shouting at passers-by: "Nobody better come in here .... I'm the Griffin 's house " and " Bring me a toolshed for I am hungryr ". Peter Griffin. A legend.

Peter Griffin is the father of the dysfunctional family in the cult television cartoon series Family Guy. Though it could be said the programme ' s 'dysfunctional family' premise is a carbon copy

his wrath out of the several that appear on our screens, such as South Park? Or is there something more personal going on?

Hmm. Well there was one last piece of information that was soon unearthed. it turns out that the show's creator and writer Seth MacFarlane actually graduated from Kent in 1991: the same school at which Richardson W. Schell is headmaster.

Schell denies that his ·one man crusade ' grew out of objections from the headmaster over the use of the name "Griffin" as the surname of the family in the show · Griffin also happened to be the name of an employee in Schell 's school office at the time. it is alleged that one week before the show was aired in January,

of the Simpsons set-up - the characters certain ly are original , if much more surreal. The family consists of the aforementioned stupid, selfish, but occasionally genius father , Peter Griffin; Lois, the mother, whose attraction to Peter is often difficult to see; Meg and Chris, two typ ical teenager's with enough hormonal and re lationship problems to last a lifetime; Stewie, the baby of the family and an evil genius in the Arthur Conan Doyle sense of the phrase, with a stunning vocabulary and a compulsive motivation to kill (" Do you want some ice cream?" " Yes. But no sprinkles! For every sprinkle I find ... I shall kill you ''); Then there's Brian , a talking dog who has eloquence , cha ri sma and an alcohol problem. So earlier this year, when FOX announced they were no longer commissioning any more episodes of Family Guy. were the people who watched the programme surprised? Well , not really: it 's not like this has never happened before. Even before the first episode was aired, th e show was threatened to be pulled after the headmaster and rec tor of the Connecticut-based Kent School wrote to sponsors who had brought commercials to be shown during the programme, declaring that the show was "anti-Semitic," and also "demeaning to the handicapped .. . alcoholics and AIDS patients" · according to published reports . Kent headmaster Richardson W. Schell succeeded in deterring four major sponsors including KFC and Philip Morris. He also took the credit for getting another 12 companies to agree to not buy advertising time on the show . So is this campaign simply the product of an over-zealous religious headmaster who has got fed up with controversial cartoons and has just happened to cite Family Guy as the focus of

Schel l contacted MacFarlane's family, asking him to change the name Griffin. Soon after this , MacFarlane apparently announced to FOX executives that his mother had resigned from her 15 year run on the school's board. FOX dec ided not to change the Griffin name, which allegedly (according to insiders) " upset Schell greatly " . In an interview with Advertising Age, Schell said at the time that "it's a moral matter for me" , though he did not mention his connection with MacFarlane during the interview.

So whether you think Schell's crusade is a valid attempt to cleanse America's television screens of immoral messages that warp children's minds; or just that of a vindictive headmaster who once shouted the name of "Mac Farlane " down the corridors of Kent school, and is now shouting the name across America instead · there is one thing for certain: this wouldn't stop the show from being aired for long . Instead it was the poor viewing figures that let it down. Though its first airing was watched by around 20 million televisions, a dramatic drop in viewers led to the show being taken off the air by FOX part of the way through series two. A power change in the television company led to the new commissioner (a big fan of the show) renewing their contract with the series. But in January , after a lengthy attempt to stir up interest in the show with special themed nights and constant changing of it's showing times, FOX fina lly acknowledged it was never going to become anymore than a cult show . The last episode, Family Guy Viewer Mail, #1 was broadcast on Valentines Day, 2002.

So why is that people did not watch the programme? Yes it may have been due to it's controversial nature, or the constant re-

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Wed nes day, Fe bru ary 27. 2002

juggling of its airing time, or maybe even Schell's campaign slowly but surely opening the eye's of a few too many advertising executives in the USA. Perhaps Family Guy's problem is that the shows that it constantly refers to and is influenced by, such as Who's the Boss, Magnum P.l. and Three's Company are too old to be appreciated by the younger cartoon watching aud ience of America ; while the older cartoon watching audience is still stuck in Springfield.

he internet community for Family Guy is predictably out· raged by the cancellation of their favourite show.

Organising petition's and even joining picket lines outside FOX stud ios, there is a definite attempt to bring back the programme . Around 60,000 people have already signed their names at PetitionOnline .com · at one point the top three petitions read 1) Depict the Flag Raising at Ground Zero as it Actually Occurred: 2) A Petition for International Investigation Committee on Ariel Sharon's crimes against humanity; 3) Save Family Guy. Good to see people's priorities are in the right order then.

As Sky One air their Simpsons week and Channel 4 announce that they 've outbid the BBC to show the programme for a reported £1m an episode, it seems obvious that the Springfield family are here to stay a while longer. With a reported film in the pipeline, the cartoon ' s creator Matt Groening must be pretty comfortable right now. But his attempt to ween people onto something new with Futurama, his futuristic Simpsons-esque fol low-up series, has also recently hit the rocks. Like Family Guy, FOX announced recently that they weren't commissioning any more episodes of this cartoon . There looks like little hope of escaping from the domination of this first family of c artoon comedy .

So will we ever see another series of Family Guy? In this country Sky One has still a number of episodes of Family Guy to air, as do Channel 4 (though both companies frequently censor th e episodes) . As far as America goes, you do get the sense that the campaign to bring back the programme is fighting a losing battle. I believe we must ask ourselves what Peter Griffin would do in a situation like th is ... He would probably pretend his son was dying. sell exclusive rights to his death to a television company in return for the programme to be put back on the air. when the television company asks why his son isn 't dead yet. he would announced he had healed him - and then get worshiped as a God. But then, we aren't all as much of a genius as Peter Griffin.

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Grrrr.

Does the thought of Jordan in a pink lycra one piece make your skin itch? Does Christine Hamilton's ever-present string of pearls put you off them for 1 i fe. despite the present fashion? It's time tn go+ Y"Ur Text: Gemma O'Donnell claws out. ordan 's second foray mto the documentary genre occurs this week with the fly-on-the-wall Jordan: The Truth About Me. However, more interesting than witnessmg Jordan bare her voluminous breasts is the curiosity behind a med1a f1gure such as Katie Price (Jordan 's alter-ego) . Why do we care? Why do we like her and, more importantly, why do we hate her?

Our only rea l contact with Jordan is through the media, and let's face it, they aren't exactly prepared to show her to full advantage are they? National Hate Figures (NHF 's from now on) are on the rise in this country. Our TV screens and newspapers are choc -a-block w1th damning photographs and revelations concerning our celebrity counterparts. Try and list all the celebrities you hate, and I'll bet you any sum known to man that Anne Robinson, Richard Madeley or Chns Evans is in there somewhere. it seems easier nowadays to sell yourselves under the premise of extreme cruelty or stupidity, than to gam fame for your talent or intelligence. Consider Anne Robinson. (I know it's hard.) Gone is the accessible matnarch, successfully battling the dodgy travel agents and washing machine manufacturers on our behalf. Goodbye to the friendly wink, the promise of more wars to be won next week, at 7.30pm. Instead 'hello' to the uber-bitch, the tight-lipped and ridiCUlOUS school-marm, whose wink has become more of a nervous tick. We hate her, we all hate her. However, have you seen the American Weakest Link? The audience love her and her quirky 'English' ways, witness and marvel at the Americans rolling in the aisles with laughter at her 'witty' putdowns. The Americans don't hate Anne Robinson; the Americans don't hate any of their celebrities. This leads me to think that perhaps us Brits are a little too obsessed with hating our public figures, maybe instead of despising them we should try to consider them as national treasures.

Chnstine and Neil Hamilton are two such characters of which we should be proud. Despite their failed political careers and (false) allegations of sex crimes, they are prime NHF's in every sense of the word. The public just loves to hate them and actually takes pleasure in each new allegation made against them.

Chnstine in particular, 1s a fascinating and extremely humorous character. why on earth do we desp1se her so much? In fact . all she IS really guilty of is standing up for herself and her husband and being a bit eccentric . "I've recovered my sense of humour now, 1t was not funny, it was the most ghastly, grotesque,

humiliating experience . We 've had SIX policemen, can you believe it?" and while it's very easy to laugh at the Hamilton 's misfortune, you can 't help but fee l the slightest tinge of pity, especially considering that t hey are not evil, nasty humanbeings, JUSt incredibly na·ive. it's simple enough to call Christine such names as Battleaxe, Dragon and Lioness, but if you genuinely believe everything you read 1n the papers then when does this VICIOUS cycle end? Would you be surprised if the Hamiltons were arrested on suspicion of murder? No, I suspect you would not be, because their media personalities are probably far more malicious than their personal ones. They 're st1ll mad, though.

And. like Jordan, they have jumped on the bandwagon of documentary film. it seems that there is a time in their careers when these Hate Figures actually stop and realise that no-one really likes them, this is when they commission a well-known documentary film-maker to show them in a better light . However. this IS never the case. Example, When Louts Met The Hamiltons. Example, Geri. The list can go on and on, surely these celebrities have real1sed that they are only mterestmg because they are so crap. Their only redeeming feature is the cunos1ty that surrounds the1r elaborate or f1ct1tious characters. we really want to know if Jordan is actually a slag , and when the documentary proves us correct we can go to bed happy.

What none of these celebrities will ever realise is that the documentaries do absolutely nothing for the1r personalities whatsoever; they end up worse off than they were before . Take Darius Danesh, the Popstars reject. Not content with irritating us just once in twelve months , he decided to make a 'shock ' comeback to our screens 1n Pop Idol. Only to lose once agam to a hedgehog-esque stammerer and teddy-faced Will. Simon Cowell

hasn't fared much better with h1s lame attempts at niceness on shows such as This Morning. He is one of the new breed of Hate Figures, spawned by Anne Robinson, who I actually believe are genumely nasty. He was employed for his bastardly charac ter and explicit honesty, to make Saturday teatimes a bit more fun for bored teenagers and students. And let's face it, that 's what we really tuned in to Pop Idol to watch anyway, those Waterman;cowell fights were better than any pay-per-view.

So why do we enjoy hatred so very much? Psychologist Dorothy

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Rowe's book Friends and Enemies, Our Need to Love and Hate attempts to explain the fine lme between fondness and hatred , coming to the conclusion that people and nations seek out both allies and hate figures from a society . it is easier to hate, as less work 1s involved , but it is also easier to be hated. Therefore cap1talismg on the bad aspects of one 's personality is much more simple than going to great lengths to make people like you. And when you consider the character of Chris Evans in this way , you 'll agree she has a point .

~rree·r

',o:,;r:·. JJ I' C'r' · ·or~WlCH

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Little Shop Of Horrors (1960)

Ex-B oyzon e boy restyled as hard-man pi erced gantsa rapper. Shane Lynch talks to The Ev ent.

Text: Katie Hind

Wait, I already know thi s one. That weird musical from the SO 's with Steve Martin and that little nerdy guy from Honey I Shrunk the Kids .

Actually, I'm talk ing about the origmal Roger Corman black and white version from 1960. Same story, but no song-anddance . Seymour. a Skid-Row florist's assistant discovers that his potted plant (which looks suspiciously like two halves of an avocado and a bit of cardboard) is carnivorous, and he ends up committing multiple murders to keep it happy and well-fed.

Wow. That' s, urn, really twisted. So th is fi lm's funny? it's hilanous! Maybe it 's because the acting is so cheezy and the production values are so laughably bad. They shot the film in an unbelievable two and a half days on somebody else 's set, wit h just $30,000 (about £20,000). Stick that in your ear, Titanic. The sets usually look as though they're about to fall over from a gust of wind, and Audrey Junior (the evil plant ) is very visibly made of canvas. Half the crew show up onscreen from time to time when they can't afford to pay actors. it's like the godfather of Clerks.

Wait, you said it was black and white , didn't you? I don 't usually like those movies.

You're missing out. The director. Roger Corman, is the same guy who brought us Ski Troop Attack , The Viking Women and the Sea Serpent. She-Gods of the Shark Reef, Not Of This Earth, Bloody Mama, The Man with the X-Ray Eyes, The Monster From the Ocean Floor and the unforgettable Death Race 2000.

That 's all very cool sounding, but why should I watch this clunky old horror movie when I can see a musical instead?

By all means, see them both. Just don 't miss the original. it 's so insanely twisted, and lots of the best characters get left out of the musical. My favourite murder is that of a prostitute who convinces Seymour she 's not too bony to "feed the master." She has to do something rather interesting with a banana to get him to even notice her in the first place ... There's also a funny subplot involving two detectives. They're investigating the murders, and are basically mtended as a cheap shot at Dragnet. And then there·s a guy who just sort of hangs around the flower shop and eats carnations. And a couple of demented teenage cheerleaders w1th questionable moral s. Oh , and Jack Ni cholson's in it too.

Really? I just loved him in Wolf. Does he play Seymour?

No, no. this is long before he's a big star. He just has a tiny walk -on. but it 's one of the funniest thing s in the whole film.

He play s a masochi sti c dent al patient (" No novocaine, it dulls th e senses ... "). shriek ing with orga smic pl easure as h1 s t eet h get pul led. And he doesn' t look as though he·s much more than 20 years old.

Mmmmmm, young Jack Nicholson...

Th at 's not t he onl y reason to see the film . it's horrifyingl y funny, even if you do already know how it 's gomg t o end . it's got sex. violence. vegetables (the horror! ) and a really Silly beatnik soundtrack. And Wit h the potential exception of The Rocky Horror Ptc ture Show, 1t's JUSt about t he best BMadeleine Lesnie movie ever made.

"I think Boyzo ne are are planning to do something. but I will be no part of any of their future projects." hane Lynch is probably best known for his dungaree wearing days when he made up a fift h of Boyzone . But after their heavily publi cised spli t , he is back on the music scene, but this ti me. he IS up to something very different.

Gone are the days of ballads suc h as Father and Son and No Matter What , both of which topped t he UK chart. Now Shane has returned , with a somewhat tougher 1mage and he is concentrating his efforts on a more hip-hop style of music .

Now 25, he has teamed up with Ben from the dance band Phats and Small, a former lndie singer and a DJ to make up Redhill, who have a style that couldn't be more different from the cleancut image of Boyzone. Named after an old Americ an mining town , Redhill hope to be unique.

"We are four different people who have come together from all different types of music to make somcth1ng new . Boy zone was all about good songs and we are keepmg that . We are going to try something new though, do somethmg that we actually want to do instead of something that we are forced t o do. which is what has happened to us in the pa st. " And it is for these reasons that t hey chose the rather strange name that they did . " Redhill got shut down to start new proJects up, so that's why we t ook the name , we shut dow n our old projec ts to start up this one."

Shane, who is currently separat ed from the former Eternal singer Esther Bennett insists th at he has moved on from the boy band th ing and he has even dashed rumou rs that the idealISti c Ronan Keating hopes th at the f1vesome w il l get back together in the near future to release some more singles and go on another t our.

In fact , he admitted th at he hates the s1nger who was bl amed at th e t ime of t he split for tak ing a huge pen.. cntage of the band 's earning s. After desc ribing the successfu l solo singer. using a large array of swear worcls. he reveuled t hat he never really enjoyed h1s ti me as a boy liallCJ sex , 'liJOI. "The si t uation as it st ands is ab· wr: d. tl•1nk they are plannmg to do somethmg, but I Will b•: no part ol any of their future projects. r·m not involved in any 1-.ay. I was an entert ainer Wit hin Boyzone, 1t was a place to be. somethmg to do. But now .

S

with Redhill we are a unit, we are part of a band, it 's hell of a lot different and I am enjoying myself now , a lot more than I ever did when I was in Boyzone."

However Shane hasn't severed all contact with the band members. He and Keith Duffy. who appeared on Celebrity Big Brother , are still friends and are, in fact, frequently spotted by the tabloid press stumbling in and out of London bars.

'' I

am still really really close to some of the boys in the band, and I am not to others, but you can 't like everyone. You grow up, we were together from the age of 17 until we were 20 and you change a hell of a lot. Your views of life and mentality change and you grow apart or you grow closer together. I still see Keith though."

Despite not enjoying the pop scene himself, he is always pleased to see new boy bands coming through the ranks - especially his Irish proteges, Westlife.

"If Boyzone brought out tracks like Westl1fe had then we would have done alright. Those boys are good, they can sing, as far as boy bands go. nobody can touch them, the same as when Boy zone were around ...

Manufactured by Boyzone star Ronan Keating, Shane is not surprised the newly crowned Brit award winners are so much like his former band. " Of course they were meant to be a re-launch of us, they have the same management team, one of our band members was managing them, you know it was fucking ridiculous really. But in all fairness they are bloody good, you can't take that away from them , regardless of why they are around and how they got there. " And in the ir heyday Boyzone were pretty good too and that' s why Shane 's down-to-earthness came as a bit of a shock . Most cel ebrities, espec ially 1f they are marri ed to a stunning member of on e of th e most su cc essful girl groups of all time wou ld be forg iven for being a tiny bit up their own back sides. but not thi s one. He has changed. I realised th is as I posed for a photo w ith him . He too k sn eaky look down my t op and reassured me t hat my cleavage remained impeccable. As I glanced at his dirty stu bbl e, I rea l1 sed t hat he had come a long way from his previ ous 1mage as a squ eaky c lean boy band member.

tI

•

r1

eners

• •

Forget clown s , lions and tightrope walk er s · the Ci reu s o f Horrors has come to town (or the LCR, to be specifi c). Th e Event caught up with ringmaster, Dr . Haze, t o talk about electrocution s and bloody death s 1n the name of Tex t : Matt Sarg eson entertainment. ot a day goes by when 1 don't thtnk how the mundane could be so easily enhanced •f the more freakiSh ele· ments of society were out and about 1n greater num bers. lmagtne how exc1t1ng buytng your regular ptnt of mtlk would be if a costumed monkey sat smokmg a fag at th e tt ll. How great would it be to dtscuss your overdraft w1th a bearded lady? How refreshing to be told " Last orders" t>y a grass-skirted midget , a bell in each hand as he nngs his message Into the drunken aisles of the Union from upon the bar. Well for one night and one night only thts utopta was fully realised by Dr Haze and hts C~rcus of Horrors.

A world travelled show garnering cnttcal acclatm for 1ts super natural spectacles. the LCR played host to a downstzed vers1on of 11 whtch 1S usually performed tn much larger venues; whiCh oastcally means, ktdS. th at we m•ssed out on the 1'11gh w1re. I met the exctt able Dr. Haze. the show's orgar11ser and nngmas· ter, after wi tnessing his band's sound c heck and a Ctrcus meet ing, surreal tn •Ls business-like at titude towards suc h 1tems on the agenda as the ·coffin of Death' and the (disturbingly not so small) matter of arse fireworks. "lt's a daredevil rock and roll alternative Ctrcus that 's got lots of bizarre and unusual acts and some genutnely dangerous tricks," says Haze. ·we started in '95 1n Glastonbury and we never k new how we ll it would take off. But we've been all over t he world and contin ue to make money wi th •t. " "The great t hing abou t the Circus of Horrors 1S that unlike other musicals or shows that you could possibly compare it to, for example the Rocky Horror Show where they use the same music for 25 years, we can change the songs. If we find a new act that we thtnk is great then we can adapt the show to be able to bring it in.· Thus. in the course of the two hour show the audience is treated t o a wide range or spectacles that Haze somehow manages to fit together into a loose story about a 16 year-old virgin that his stage persona kills and turns inexplicably into a vampire who goes on to c harge llim for the crime in her

N

undead state. The punishment? To be cut up in a box of course!

All of this goes on with a background of well performed musical numbers by a live band. two sexy songstresses and the evil Haze himself. lt genuinely is unlike anything you'll have seen before.

"As long as you come with no inhibiti ons, j ust looking for a great time then that's what you'll get," continues Haze. "Have a coupl e of drinks, don't have a cynica l mind and you'll come away with st ories to tell for ages! " Most such stories will undoubtedly stem from c row d favounte ·w asp Boy· · half man, half wasp (rendering him immune to pa1n apparently) · who we see get electrocuted (no, really). swallow live swords at once. attach 40 pounds worth of bells to his ntpples and light a fire· work from tnside hts arse. Rtghteous! Gary Stretch disgusts us

by pulling his elaStiC skin two inches off hts body in any dtrec· ti on, attaching clothes pegs all over his face and. for a grande finale, pulling the sktn from his neck up and over his mouth.

Sweet ! At the end of tile day though. the Ctrcus of Horror's real achievement •s maktng the all-ages audtence feel like little ktdS again through these awesome spectacles of not only grotesque but also sktlful acrobatic displays and classtc magic trtcks turned bad (cuttmg Haze up in the box comes replete wtth spurting blood) . There were no clown s, midget s or monkeys in sight . but then, somet imes all you need is a woman suspended 20 feet off the ground by her llair to turn tha t frown upside down.

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12

• • Cult hero librarians are notoriously short on the ground i n pr.i me-time television, bu t Giles from Buffy the Vampire Slayer is just that. British star Anthony Head speaks to The Event about Buffy, Nescafe and trading Text: Will Halsey swearwords ... here are not many Englishmen that can call themselves heroes of the Library Association of America. There are even less that have earned such respect on prime-time television. And there's .surely only one now appearing on the BBC as a 49-year-old impotence victim desperately trying to sleep with women half his age.

Anthony Head is one such man. Better known as Rupert Giles from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Head has left the library of Sunnydale High behind and is now to be found in new BBC comedy drama Manchlld. But that's not to say that leaving school means Head has grown up. "it's basically about men being children." Head explains. "lt examines what happens when men can afford to have all the toys, the expensive lifestyle, and the things we hanker over throughout our lives. "it's about men who aren't questioning themselves, not asking what life is about but just looking for every fantasy they can live out.• Head plays James, a rich orthodontist with an ex-wife and a failing penis. it's a fair distance from the US teen scene- but just as much fun to play: "There's one scene when she goes down on me," Head laughs. "First of all I'm willing it to happen and it just isn't responding, then secondly I'm thinking I'm going to have to talk about this. But it was a very small railway carriage and I could hear the director pissing himself next door.• The fact that Manchild has a narrator (Terry, played by Nigel Havers), four main characters and deals with sexual issues has led to inevitable comparisons with HBO's Sex and the City. lt has also faced criticism for being misogynist. Head rejects this.

"Four men in their mid-fifties have very different agendas to Sex and the City which is late-twenties, early thirties. Also, men and women have very different agendas. I don't think women reach ·

a point where they think. 'Oh mr God, I'm not going to be able to have a twenty-year-old.'

"The fact that there's four of us. and the fact it deals with sexual issues is where the similarity ends. And I don't think it is misogynist; through the seven episodes, you can see it's a fairly empty fantasy for the four men.' hankfully for Head. Buffy creator Joss Whedon' s fantasies have been far more lucrative. Starting small in 1997. Buffy the Vampire Slayer entered the world of American television as a mid-season replacement on minor network WB. lt was an inauspicious start for an Englishman in LA. "''d just been doing Poltergeist: the Legacy which I real ly didn't like, it was much more voyeuristic and felt really dark. They were commissioning 44 episodes but I said no.

"Then, the next week the Buffy script came through and was much more interesting. it's brilliantly written, so I met Joss and the production team. I asked them if they wanted Hugh Grant or AI an Rickman and they said do either, do both, you choose.· The Buffy team cast Head first and went looking for the rest with him in place. high praise indeed. But it wasn 't all smooth running, and the beginning of Buffy did not suggest a worldwide hit was in the pipeline. Even after Whedon had assured Head that the appalling Buffy movie was nothing like the series, protr lems still emerged.

"When we came to shoot the pilOt it was just bizarre,· he recalls. ·we had a first assistart nursing a baby, a cameraman who hated the director, and the director had never directed before.

"Also, 1 didn't know what they liked about me, so thank God my dressing room was next to the editing suite. I watched myself the next morning doing one scene and I was terrible, absolutely

T

Head on • • •

unbelievably bad, so I was able to do the big scene with Buffy more how they wanted it.· The rest, as they say, is history. Or making history, to be more precise. Currently in series six with another in the planning stages, the Buffy juggernaut rolls on. though Head has scaled down his contribution. After five years in LA, it was time to come home, and he is now settled near Bath with long-term girlfriend, Sarah Fisher, and their two young daughters, Daisy and Emily. Indeed, Buffy wasn't the charmed life it may look· five years hard graft Is a better description. Head's routine involved over eight months a year in LA with just six day visits home every six weeks. The summers provided an opportunity to make up for lost time, but September saw Head back across the Atlantic. Not that he regrets it, t hough.

"The Buffy production company will bend over backwards to accommodate you, and Joss Whedon is a remarkable man. He is brilliant at writing for an Englishman, and Buffy is refreshingly non two-dimensional.

"Giles has charm and a lot of humour, and there's a balance between Hugh Grant's bumbling cleric, and Alan Rickman, a man of action. I just thought Giles had an enormous amount of potential.· Whether such potential will be making its way onto the big screen is another matter, though. Head, too, is in the dark over Buffy: The Movie. "I don't know; he says simply. ·various people have reasons for not doing it until the TV series is finished, and if it relates to the TV show it becomes dated very quickly. If it does happen, it '11 be maybe a year or so after the TV show finishes.· But would he be interested? "Oh my gosh yesl To have a full-on effects feature film, yes, I'd be interested.· Meanwhile, Head's role on the TV show has expanded impressively since Buffy hit US screens in 1997; he hopes to direct an episode at some point, and has made contributions to the script, especially when it comes to the English dialogue. "I called someone a pillock in Buffy and they let me because they didn't know what it meant. So I started using 'bollocks' and the like to add a little spice .

"When they started writing for Spike [the English demon played

by American, James Marsters) they wrote in 'bollocks' spelt 'bollix' , which is how it appears in the American dictionary. I explained their mistake and they were very grateful, but James forgot and still said 'bollix'. The English fans were not impressed."

Such swearing sounds somewhat surprising coming from the well-spoken, 47-year-old stage veteran from Camden Town. But it's something he's getting used to, with Manchild suitably expletive ridden and new BBC drama Spooks containing a fair share of swearing.

"There's a thing about TV that you're allowed certain swearwords, and a certain quota of swearwords." Head explains.

"Sometimes they'll trade a 'fuck' for two 'bloodys'. • But it can go wrong: "In Spooks they changed 'Fuck-a-doodle' to 'Sod-a-doodle' · that's terrible, no good at all.· lt is hard to imagine such profanities coming from master of tweed and perfect gentleman Giles, and indeed Head is aware of the pressure to play the stereotypical Englishman. However, one English stereotype not forced on Head is Giles' constant tea drinking in the later Buffy episodes. "The tea drinking came from me, actually," Head admits, somewhat sheepishly. "For one thing I was keen to get away from coffee."

Sarah Michel l e Gellar

AJyson Hanni gan

Nich olas Brend on

"We 've always had enormous respect for each other, we've always been close on set. and I think it plays in the scenes we do together - there's an energy to our scenes. And she's really sweet to my children when they're on set, she's like a big sister. She's just really lovely with them. •

"Aiyson I'm hugely fond of, we·ra really close friends off stage and I'm partly responsible for her getting together with her boyfriend [Aiexls Denisof, who plays Wesley in Buffy/Angel]. At the time they were looking for an Englishman and thought I might know one, so I told them about A lex is.·

·we u~ed to go out drinking after the show and put the world to rights, decide what was going to happen with Buffy and who was going to do what. I said I wanted to be the evil guy and Nicholas generally said it would never happen. We're really good friends.·

~vent

Wednesday.

February 27 , 2002

··when they .started writing for Spike they wrote in 'bollocks' spelt ·boll ix' . The Englis h fans were n't impresse d."

or older Buffy fans, Anthony Head is not only Rupert Giles, but more importantly, 'that bloke from the coffee ad'. But fronting the famous will they;won't they campaign in the '80s for Nescafe Gold Blend was not all plain sailing; his agent at the time reported casting directors rejecting him on the grounds that they "don't

F

want people reaching for their coffee jars. • So does Head regret it? "Bloody hell nol it's bought us a really lovely house and it gave me a profile here and in America. And as an actor you look for that comfort zone where you don't have to work just to pay the bills. • Indeed, the Nescafe campaign, six years long though only containing two ads a year, came along at the right time for Head. He missed out on a huge Guinness account by a whisker, having been shortlisted down to the last two, before having to don a white suit for a Malibu campaign: " lt only appeared in movie theatres so I didn't make much money out of it, but everyone saw it. I just remember I wore a horrible white suit and wandered around a spaceship."

The Nescafe contract changed all that. Sparking debate across the country, the commercials gave Head the profile and finance to cross the Atlantic, ultimately lead· ing the way to Buffy. "At that point it gave me an emphasis to go to LA,· he explains. "I needed to look further a field to change per-

ceptions of me. I always knew I would go over to the States at some point, but the ad gave me the opportunity."

America has also opened other doors for Head, including a minor musical career. Aside from the 'song and dance' Buffy episode recently aired on Sky, Head has just released a CD in America with George Sarah and his band THC. (THC backed werewolf Veruca in Buffy, while also providing some incidental music for spin-off show Angel.) A record company approached the two of them with a small project and an album was born.

"I was hugely wary of it," Head admits. "I don't want to be David Hasslehoff. But I've always written music and I love singing so we sat down and wrote three songs and thought, 'this might work'. "it's just me and a bunch of friends really, Joss and James [Marsters, Spike') wrote some stuff, and we recorded it in tiny garage studios. I' m really proud of it, but my one condition was that I wouldn't hype it.· Indeed, acting is still Head's main concern, and as well as Manchild, in May he can be seen in an episode of BBC drama Spooks · "I play a dissolute MI5 bloke who falls in love with a political agitator.· Head will also be returning to LA in March for some more Buffy, and may well be part of series seven too. Add the possibility of another series of Manchild · " I t hink it's a goer, it feels good" • and you have a pretty busy man. " I do see myself back on the stage too," he adds. "The question Is what, where and when. Having j ust got home, I'm not eager to throw myself into something that will take me away again. · "But who knows? it's an open book."

A book. one might add, that seems pretty safe in the hands of an American Library Association Hero.

Wednesday. February 27. 2002

@vent

14 Albums

Beverly Knight:

Who I am

Beverley Knight has returned after a three year absence with a highly defined and masterfully crafted album. When so much of t he female solo talent is either American r'n 'b or of the UK garage ilk, it is refreshing to hear a UK r'n 'b vocalist with both amazing talent and consistently good songs. She escapes all of the expectations cynics may have, saying how she "broke out of that specialised, ghettoised box that all British black female artists find themselves dropped into." Her voice is sultry and soaring, sensual and seductive. never falling short of illustrious.

Hearing her almost makes you shiver. Yes, she's that good.

What is especially noticeable is how both the songs and her are mutually complementary. Shying away from the computerised ~ reations that Moulin Rouge, Melanie Blatt and Aaliyah have released recently , the backing holds a strong element of instrumentation. Guitars are a strong presence, and not the kind that erupt mto wanky ten minute solos. There is a perfect balance and variety. On Shape of You there is a beautiful and relaxed range of acoustic guitar and a section that builds to include strings, giving the track real shape and definition. There is sleazy blues guitar on Fallen Soldier that sounds like it has come straight out of a smoky bar. lt resembles Hendrix with Beverley's angelic melodies and perfect harmonies washing over the track.

These songs are Intoxicating. varying between sweetness, sharpness and delicacy. She damn well means i t too, insisting .on live performance. Far too many artists leave this behmd to snort coke through the banknotes that are always flashmg up m their eyes cartoon-style. On playing for Nelson Mandela. she said how "lt knocked me Sideways that , through music, I had got to meet one of history's living legends, a man who future historians wi ll still be writing about in 500 or more years time.

And how had it happened? lt was because I, a woman from Wolverhampton, had dared to have a dream that was bigger than t hose that everyone else around me was carrying with them."

Bev pulls off the lyrics with subtlety and convict 1on. exptonng the many sides of herself. Writing about a recent break-up, she nears poetry; "With a smile I will face the world, though my eyes reflect the'truth , I'm moving on, but you Know I do. with the hole in my heart the shape of you. " She explores her identity, sexuality and vulnerabi lity over a funky but delicate Jamiroquai style soundtrack in the standout Hurricane Jane.

If you are only going to buy one rec ord liKe this, or are new to the genre, check M1ss Knight out , the new Queen of UK f'n'b .

You will not be disappointed.

Ed Purkis

9/10

Biffy Clyro:

Sahara Hotnights:

Lambchop:

Blackened Sky

Jennie Bomb

Is a Woman

Scottish trio Biffy Clyro are set to officially hit the mus1c scene on March 18 with the release of their debut album Blackened Sky. Having spent most of 2001 touring with the likes of OPM and Sum 41, includmg hitting the big stage at the Reading and Leeds festivals, Biffy Clyro present a melodic blend of rock, grunge and nu-metal on what is. well, a good debut album.

What stands out most is the dynamic vocals - the band all share frontman duties. And although the three different styles clearly shine th rough giving a slightly polyglot edge, the music has a refreshing overtone not dissimilar to a hand picked compilation. Most of the tracks have a strange warm fami liarity about them, an aspect great for genre fans. but may seem a lit· tie tedious to the impartial.

Perhaps a litt le too frequent ly the songs start softly with strum· rning guitars and simple vocals, and halfway t hrough they seem to remember where the distortion pedals are and bang out some good old power chords. Both melodically and musically satisfying but not really anything groundbreaking.

The singles, as expected. are by far the better songs and 27, already acclaimed as Kerrang! Single of the Week is a great track that wi ll leave you hungry for more, desperately trying to remember the melody as you hit the repeat button.

Other singles Justboy and 57 are good examples of the band's talent for harmony and dynamics in music style. Tracks like Kill the Old, Torture the Young show the band's darker side, but may turn off t hose who aren't fans of hard rock.

This is an album that brings moods of both light and shade. and i f you listen to it for long enough you'll be humming most of the tunes without even realising it. This is good rather than excellent. but to its credit t his is a debut album that real ly grows the Dave Gamer more it 's played.

After being Impressed by a fierce live performance by the Sahara Hot nights. I was quite keen to get my hands on Jennie Bomb. Tile four foxy and stylishly clad ladies delivered their set with attitude and vigour and I hoped this would be captured on their second album. Thankfully, the energy put into their music can be heard throughout the twelve tracks. but the re's a simi· lar temperament and struct ure to most of the songs and the ir melodic choruses are the main features that offer a distinction between them. After several listens, instead of the songs establishing their own identities, t he constant edginess remains a bland mass of vivacity. The slower and more sombre track, Whirlwind Reaper, attempts to break up the constantly upbeat mood but just ends up sounding weak. With or Without Control succeeds in coming across as a sleazy transition wit h its moany backing vocals and Maria Andersson's mouthy cries of "Boy you 're real ly messing up my mind! " Songs that stand out as being single-worthy include the fantast iC. hip-shaking Keep Up tile Speed and Down and Out, which has, of all things, a catchy Ocean Colour Scene-esque ri ff.

The album was originally released in 2001, and the band have been touring incessantly over the past two years, headlining and supporting acts like The Donnas and fellow Swedes, The Hives (with whom they are also romantically liased). However, when you stri p th.em of their cool exteriors and en vogue boyfriends there isn't much to them. Having collectively mas· tered their instruments since their pre·teen years, one wou ld've expected them to develop a more experimental and original sound. The Hotnights' management may describe them as a female version of The Clash, also drawing comparisons to The Ramones, but sadly. on Jennie Bomb, the band end up sounding more like Republica.

Clalre Burwe/1

If Lambchop·s.breakthrough album. Nixon, with its fluid arches· tral sweeps and falsetto vocals. was influenced by anyone, that person was Curtis Mayfield. On their new release, however, Lambchop have stripped down their sound and it's the laid back mood of Barry White that dominates. Not that Kurt Wagner and his merry band of nearly twenty twiddlers concern themselves with anything as trivial as trying to get inside a loved one's knickers. Oh no, Is a Woman has its sights set on much larger problems. But as Kurt, leans in to the mike and whispers his confessional lyrics t hrough the speakers, you cannot help but be engulfed by an overwhelming sense of calm, he' s not so much the ' Love Walrus' as the ' Existential Angst Walrus.' And despite the heartfelt soul searching, it's unlikely /sa Woman wi ll leave you feeling depressed. Quite the opposite. In fact. you'll probably sleep better knowing there's someone out there tackling the deeper questions of human ex istence even if you're not.

Hailing from Nashville, Lambchop have always been heavily associated with the burgeoning alt.country movement.

However, such a c lumsy pigeonholing is far too reductive for a band whose myriad influences stretch so far and wide. From Memphis soul to Scott Walker-esque balladeering to Bacharach and back, Lambchop mould all their influences into such a seamless whole, that what may seem incongruous in theory, lfl practice, makes perfect sense.

Fans of Nix on may lament the change of pace, but this is an album that rewards patience. Indeed, what may seem like an hookless album on fi rst listening, is on reinvest igati on fi lled with so many subtle spikes and barbs that you will soon find it hard to tear from either your mind or your CD player.

7/ 10

6/10

8/10

event ~Jednesday,

FebrL.iiH'Y 27 , 2002

Merek Cooper

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Singles 15

Westlife â&#x20AC;˘â&#x20AC;˘ World Of Our Own Let's just be honest and get one thing straight. This is not a bad single. In fact, it 's actually pretty good. There is, however, something sickening about the fact that Westlife have, in their pretty short life span, already sold 15 million albums to date and notched up nine number one singles with effectively different variations of the same song . So you'll be happy to know that this is an uptempo number; no dance moves but also definitely no stools. Not only does it tower over their 700 previous drippy singles, but it's also a half-decent pop song. The move away from their infamous ballads to something more lively is a welcome relief especially considering the state of the current British pop market (have you heard the latest A1 song?).

World of our Own will have you humming along from the opening line right through to the rousing, annoyingly catchy chorus.

Don't be mistaken though, this is not vintage pop. lt doesn't for example come close to anything Take That or The Backstreet Boys produced in their prime, but I think this is about as good as we'll get from the Irish lads.

Many people wish Westlife were in a world of their own , preferably in a different universe. But take my advice and savour this whilst it lasts. Before they bring out the stools again .

Klren Mltra

White Stripes: ... in

love with a girl

Gomez:

Shot Shot

Another attempt for revivalism to prove as popular in the public's eyes as it does the critics. the White Stripes Fell In Love With A Girl is a near perfect lesson in rocking out. lt throws the notion of restraint out of the window, and instead brings back the days of onstage fellatio and making love to your mic stand a la lggy and the Stooges. About time too.

The sibling duo of Jack and Meg White keep things short and sweet, but it manages to hit every hair raising button, setting fire to your feet with its frenzied guitar play and tarring and feathering your dance crazy brain with its part-stammered, partyodled lyric. If Marty McFiy's performance of Jonny B. Goode in Back To The Future had you jumping around on your sofa as a kid, this will have you jumping on the bonnet of your dad's car.

Matt Sargeson "Great Scottl" indeed...

Bearing in mind we haven't heard anything from the generically mutant ambience that is Gomez since 1999, one could hardly accuse Shot Shot of reeling in the successive aftermath of LP Liquid Skin. Shot Shot is one of those tunes that initially sits comfortably as background music but eventually grows on you like fungus until you find yourself tapping along to the up-tempo alt.country/blues guitar riffs and humming along to those rare sudden crescendos of melody that define the band. lt all comes in a healthy amalgam of big band, techno and random sound effects from a Casio keyboard. Lyrically, however, Gomez haven't moved in any particular direction at all. And at a ridiculously short length , it is instantly forgettable . One for the fans only, unless of course you 're a patient fan of fungus and all music that grows with every hit of 'repeat.'

Jodie Squires

Cornershop:

Gorillaz:

... Rocky I to Rocky III

And so, rather bizarrely, the Oasis revival starts right here. If this latest Cornershop release is anything to go by, 2002 looks set to see a return of the Mancunian knuckle-draggers to .a position of cultural influence. Apparently not satisfied with charity gigs that your dad attended, and the gathering storm of publicity for the new album, the bad boys of Britpop have left their grubby prints all over this disc. Back in from the cold and aided

by Paul McGuigan, mutton-chopped maverick Tjinder Singh hotwires the riff from Cigarettes and Alcohol and slips the beat into cruise control. Retrograde as this may seem, Lessons Learned from Rocky I to Rocky Ill is a loose-limbed exercise in ironic understatement and wit, the calibre of which the Gallaghers could only dream of, and is hereby prescribed as aural prozac for anyone wishing to shake off that winter gloom and strut their stuff into spring .

Merek Cooper

Tomorrow Comes Today

I think we all know the story behind the Gorillaz by now; four recording artists, their cartoon aliases and a fusion of different music styles. This release, however, finds the Gorillaz in a sombre, reflective mood. it's not particularly radio friendly; there is no trace of the optimistic, pop-tinged Glint Eastwood. Instead, imagine someone singing the blues over a trip-hop track. That's exactly what Mr Albarn attempts as the sole vocal presence, his voice accompanied by a harmonica (or at least its synthesised equivalent) throughout the song. The beat is functional , with a heavy bass line creating mournful atmospherics. Overall it gives the feeling of a very modern blues interpretation. What Damon Albarn has done with the Gorillaz project is move once and for all away from his Britpop origins and possibly paved the way for further cross genre experimentation on Blur's next stuJoel Tumer dio album.

Pictures (clockwise from top): 1. Westlife; 2. White Stripes;

3. Gomez; 4. Gorillaz; 5. Cornershop

Wednesday, February 27, 2002

event

16 Film

The Royal Tenenbaums Directed by Wes Anderson Starring· Gene Hackman. Ben Stiller, Gwyneth Paltrow and Anjelica Huston

His last film, the mighty Rushmore, slow-burned its way to a huge cult status. Now his la test. the starstudded Royal Tenenbaums, looks set to take the wacky world of Wes Anderson all the way to the mainstream .

:\

Gene Hackman plays Roya le Tenenbaum, a brilliant lawyer and terrible father. Through a combination of absenteeism, favouritism , lies and brutal honest ly he raises (althoug l1 most of the raising is left to his put-upon archeologist wife , Ethel ) three largely dysfunctional yet inadvertent ly bri lliant offspring. They grow up to be Ben Stiller. Gwenyth Paltrow and Luke Wilson.

Stil ler is Chas, a financia l genius from an early age who has become pathologically protective of his own ch ildren after they survived a plane crash that killed his wife. Pa ltrow is Margot , an award winning play-write. She has written nothing for years and is unhappy in her marriage to Raleigh St. Clair ( Bill Murray), a child psychologist many yea rs her senior. Wilson plays Richie , a retired champion tennis player who had a nervous breakdown in the final of the U.S. Open. He now spends all his time sailing repeated ly around the world in an ocean liner. Wllen Royale announces lle has on ly six weeks left to live tile fam ily is reunit· ed for the first time in over a decade.

The Royal Tenenbaums is not an easy film to describe. The opening paragraph represents just a tiny fraction of the interlocking stories concocted by director Wes Anderson w ith hi s cowriter Owen Wilson ( Lu ke's brother). There is no mention, for exam ple. that Ethel needs Roya le to agree to a divorce so that she c an marry her accountant ( Danny Glover), or that a family fnend has re-invigorated the genre of the cowboy novel and is using the proceeds to develop a heroin addiction. And what about the fac t that Ri ch ie is secretly in love with Margot?

eve mt t ile

\.<Jednesday'

(Don 't worry too muc h · as Royale delig hts in tellmg people " Margot is an adopted daughter." ) Th e various plots move at speed, with years van ishing in minutes. Indeed matters are only kept in any kind of order at all by the patient tones of the narra· tor, Alec Baldw in. The ent ire vast ly famous cast perfo rms as competently as shou ld be expected in roles that appear to have been written for them. Stiller somehow displays a who le new version of ·exasperated '. Paltrow wears enough eyeliner to suggest one of M argot's original parents may have been a panda.

But Hackman · in the form of his life· reduces them all to sup· parting players . Thanks to him Roya le remains a sympathetic figure despite a mentality that sees illegal dogfights as suitable entertainment for eight year olds.

Although nominally set in New York, 2001 , Tenenbaums operates entirely within its own eccentric universe; the settings, props and costumes refuse to be any more specific than 'some time in the last half-c entury' . This eclectic approach augments the willfully innovat ive script , which wanders in to ne from farce to character study to tragedy seemingly as the mood takes it.

The technique w il l be fam iliar to anyone who saw Anderson and Wilson' s previous efforts, Bottle Rocket and Rushmore.

Depending which way you tilt it , the film is eit her a ve ry funny drama or an extremely serious comedy. Regardle ss of a conc lu· sive defin it ion, it all works beautifu lly.

Jim Whal/ey

9/10

February 27, 2002

• •

Fi 1m 17

Don't Say a Word:

Directed by Gary Felder Starring: Michael Douglas and Brittany Murphy

Unhappy? Depressed? Fee'l 1i ke you¡ re going crazy? Don't worry. Console yourself with the fact that you're not nearly as mad as Brittany Murphy in this lopsided plot-boiler lt has been said that if a thousand monkeys typed for a thousand years, they would eventually write out the whole works of Shakespeare. What they fail to add though is in the first five minutes they would be able to nail out a rough draft of the Hollywood thriller Don't Say A Word. This film is mediocracy in Its purest form.

When psychiatrist Conrad's (Michael Douglas) daughter is kidnapped by an evil, evil terrorist (Sean Bean) he has but a few hours to break through to a catatonic woman (Brittany Murphy) and retrieve a number. Nathan is forced to break the rules (i.e. driving fast down a road in his range-rover) and perform some sexy, sexy speed psychiatry. But how are the kidnappers watching him? How far will he have to go to get the number? What does the number represent? Who cares? ... Not mel To his credit, Gary Felder manages to narrowly avoid any original idea. He desperately wants to be David Fincher, with his sexy, sexy camera work. His previous film outing Kiss the Girls was only just a pseudo-Se7en run-of-the-mill movie. And this film fares only a little better, despite a pretty darn good looking cast. Brittany Murphy shines as the schizophrenic child; the underrated Oliver Platt fills out his part admirably; Famke Janssen takes the Jimmy Stuart role as the sexy, sexy wife stuck in bed with a broken leg; Jennifer Esposito, though given a lame part as the police officer chasing Nathan down, is still seemingly waiting for her A-list call-up; and Michael Douglas just spends the time looking more and more like his father everyday. Still, I suppose it keeps him out of Wales and away from our women. Sean Bean also appears in the film as an evil terrorist .... So perhaps not all the casting was inspired.

So why is the film so mediocre? Well let me cite a few scenes for the prosecution: 1) A scene which cuts between Conrad attempting to form a bond with his patient to retrieve the number and another scene featuring his kidnapped eight-year-old child attempting to form a bond with the bearded terrorist who is guarding her. The girl is only eight years old and she is using advanced psychiatric techniques. 2) A scene in which Conrad's wife is watching Steve lrwin 'Crocodile hunter' on television get-

ting attacked by a hostile scorpion- meanwhile a man is sneaking up to attack her. Indeed, it is she that assumes the role of the scorpion, attacking her attacker. Mmmm ... in a sense, she ultimately kills Steve lrwin ... But in a way, haven't we all killed Steve lrwin at one time or another?

So are there any above average points to the movie? Well I think Michael Douglas sums it up perfectly in his opening lines

I

5/10

-

Hearts 1n Atlant is: â&#x20AC;˘

"Everybody does it, I mean your best friends do it, the mailman does it, the science wizz, even the headmaster- they all whack off". And I believe that this is the true theme of this film. A pile of wank. Still, at least it hasn't got John Travolta in it.

Zac Walsh

Directed by Scott Hicks Starring: Anthony Hopkinsand Anton Yelchin

Yet another coming of age film set against the backdrop of that fondly remembered golden summer, where epiphanies were gained, innocence was lost and the world changed forever.

Hearts in Atlantis is the latest in a growing sub-genre of nostalgic period films based on the limited selection of 'nice' Stephen King stories. lt has nothing new to offer. If you've seen The Shawshank Redemption, The Green Mile and/or Stand By Me there is no reason to watch this movie. If you haven't, then rent one of them instead. They are each substantially more entertaining.

Like Stand By Me and The Green Mile, Atlantis begins with a dewy-eyed guy eager to tell us about his past. When 50ish photographer Bobby Garfield (played by David Morse as an adult and Anton Yelchin as a kid) learns that two of his childhood friends have died on him, he sees the perfect opportunity to narrate a feature-length flashback about the summer of 1960 - the summer that ended his innocence but opened his eyes to the

world's possibilities ...

Rather than- as you might expect- trying to remember his dead mates, most of Bob's recollections involve his experiences with Ted Brautigan (Tony Hopkins), a mysterious drifter who rents the Garfield family's upstairs room. The Garfields clearly need the money - Mr. Garfield died five years previously, leaving his wife (Hope Davis) alone with their son and a pile of unpaid bills.

For his eleventh birthday, Bobby only receives a complimentary library card. With constant offers of root beer and an inexhaustible supply of obliquely relevant classical quotations, Ted appears to be an ideal father figure for the boy . He offers sage advice on women ("that first kiss is the one by which all others will be judged") and intervenes when Bobby falls foul of the local bullies. Their growing bond is placed in jeopardy, however, as suspicion grows that Ted is a psychic on the run from the C.I.A .

What slight appeal the film does possess can be attributed entirely to the adult cast members (the child actors' contribute mainly by reminding the viewer just how exceptional Haley Joel Osment is). After the high camp of Hannibal, Hopkins reverts to the other end of his extensive range , acting mainly with his eyes. Davis works wonders with the standard King character of 'bad though essentially loving parent.'

But the excesses of Scott Hicks' direction and William Goldman's script swamp all their good work . Did Hicks have to bathe every scene in the golden light of a fading afternoon?

Goldman (it seems inconceivable that the same man wrote such classics as Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and The Princess Bride) appears so intent on leaving us cheerful that he tries to turn a baseball bat beating into a feel-good moment. His failure to connect the audience to the characters is such that, when the sentimental score begins to swell, it actually comes as a shock that we were supposed to care.

Hearts in Atlantis is so awash with poignant, bitter-sweet nostalgia that it drowns within the first half-hour, leaving the audience stuck watching the bloated corpse of a trip down memory lane.

Jlm Whalley

~/J.J

Wednesday, February 27, 2002

event

18 Video/DVD

A Knight ' s Tale

• •

Directed by Brian Helgeland Starring: Heath Ledger

Take a trip back to medieval Europe. where blonde Australian heartthrobs charged down English thespians on horseback to the music of Queen. Hang on a moment ...

-

Wit h all the fuss made over such cinematic delights as Pearl Harbor and Planet of the Apes last summer. a lot of half decent popcorn fare fell straight under the radar and vanished without a trace. A Knight ·s Tale is one such example. A ludicrously plotted medieval romp which, thanks to some creditable design work and a genuine sense of humou r by all involved actually turned out to be a rather nifty little film . it will do nothing to improve your quality of life, but may well make you want to get on a horse and ride around holding sharp pieces of wood.

Which I feel should be considered a positive example for our impressionable youth in today's car obsessed culture.

Unsurprising ly, A Knight's Tale is about knights. In particular, Heath Ledger, who is actually not a knight but a squire. But like all Australian squires in Hollywood films before him , (of which we can all name so many) he dreams of being the man on the horse, jousting for glory in Europe's great tournaments. He gets his wish, but soon finds the whole business a lot less glamorous when the evil Rufus Sewell starts trying to kill him and, far more seriously, the oddly dressed Shannyn Sossamon toys with his affections and forces him to read her poetry supplied by Geoffrey Chaucer. Yes, Geoffrey Chaucer.

Which leads into the point of historical accuracy. of which much squawk was made by critics upon the film's release. Or, more to the point, the lack of it . Many considered themse lves immensely clever for noticing the inconsistencies in dress styles. inaccuracy of locations

(including a sly London Eye-esque wooden Ferris wheel adorning our fair capital) that the choice of rock music for the joust scenes which wasn't quite authentic medieval. But, of course, everyone (except me) missed the point. Wh ich is that A Knight's Tale is a film built entirely upon atmosphere rather than substance. The choices of design, particularly Queen on the soundtrack, succeed in making the key joust scenes genuinely thrilling. And it seems a bit rich to fault A Knight's Tale for doing in August precisely the same thing which the glorious Moulin Rouge did a month later.

The fine design is topped by a solid enough performance by Heath Ledger who, althoug'h often just plain laughable, is never so bad as to be offensive. Unless , of course. you're the sort who cannot stand actors who wave their hair around for no other reason than to com ply to the terms of the shampoo contract they obviously signed before making the film. In whi ch case, stay well away from Ledger and his unfeasiblely soft and manageable blonde locks.

Points added, too, for Rufus Sewell's rather fine sneer. Which should set him up rather nicely in a career as a token British villain for the next couple of decades.

Make no mistake: A Knight's Tale is complete and utter pap. But it's good pap. And so therefore is thoroughly deserving of two hours of your attention, and to be instantly forgotten as soon as you've taken the tape back to the shop.

Phi/ Cotvin

7/10

M aul in Rouge Directed by Baz Luhrman Starring: Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor Love i t or hate it, Mou 7 in Rouge certainly

puts on a big song and dance for its DVD Moulin Rouge may have been nom inated for Best Picture at the Academy Awards, but perhaps more importantly than that prestigious award is its triumph as "Best Video Disc of the Year " . Indeed, for the millions of people who saw this musical in the cinema and want to relive the experience in their living rooms (or, their sadly pathetic dorm room), they should look no furt her t han this incredible two-disc DVD set . Replete with extras, including two commentaries (both with director/writer/producer Baz Lurhmann) , a heap of behind the scenes extravaganzas, breathtaking making of documentaries. and a number of detailed analyses of visual effects, musical breaks, dancing lessons and much more- the sheer volume of the two discs far exceeds even the most fervent fan's dreams.

For those, though, that have never seen Moulin Rouge, the DVD set also serves as a perfect bridge between the cinematic experience and a brilliant television reprodu ction. Lurhmann's story takes the most common elements from past musicals (poor boy meets destitute girl, boy and girl fall in love. rich suitor falls for girl, boy must win back girl's heart) to showcase the true sentiments behind the film. The audience isn't distracted by the plot twists and turns, because we already know them from countless other musicals, and can instead concentrate on Lurhmann's cinematic techniques.

He mixes the story, set at the turn of the 20th century, with contemporary music, to indicate the universality, the timelessness, of music, and link it inexorably with the timelessness of love. The characters use songs to emote, and

event

Wednesday.

February 27, 2002

by usi ng them, they connect at a very basic level. Music unites stronger than mere language.

To this end, all the characters in Moulin Rouge comm unicate wit h music. The plot, such as it is, fluidly moves with the music - unlike many musicals from the Golden Age of Hollywood, the story doesn 't stop to accommodate a bunch of songs. The music is seamlessly tied into the plot of the film: one couldn 't exist without the other. Lurhmann's camera matches this fluidity. From swooping CGI pans across the st reets of Paris to highly edited , uber-technicolour dance routines, Lurhmann's hyperkinetic camera somehow smooth ly manages to knit the loose threads of the film together.

Like his prev ious fil ms Strictly Ballroom and Romeo + Juliet, Moulin Rouge exists slightly askew from life, situated somewhere between fantasy and reality.

Thus, perhaps the most import ant facet of the new DV D is its crystal clear reproduction of the astounding visuals and exciting music of the film. Both the visual and the aural are integral to Moulin Rouge, and the producers of t his DVD set obviously understood that. For the picture is superb, matched by an equally superior soundtrack. Long after the extra features of the discs have been exhausted, the passionate film connoisseur will appreciate the fine craftsmanship of Moulin Rouge, thanks to a near-perfect cinematic transcription. Watching the film on DVD is a spectacular spectacular experPaul Booth ence.

9/10

TV/Radio 21 Essential Soaps· Calamity, explos1ons and general mayhem ravage the Square this week when Steve and Phil's long running feud, along with Martin Kemp's contract, reaches its climax . The fact that nobody can really remember why aforementioned feud ~ver real ly started is, of course, a minor point when we're to be treated to the greatest orgy of pent up cockney testosterone since Grant told Phi I to 'Get off his high horse!' before plunging into the Thames. Needless to say, expect much the same again as Steve starts the week by indulgmg in a little hanky panky with Sam and making big brother Phil go all bear-faced (shades of David Wicks, anyone?) And he ends it by getting involved in a high speed drive round town , chased by Phil, with baby Louise in tow . For no particular reason. Could this be the last we'll be seeing of Walford's favourite playboy cum ashtray wielding man1ac? Well yes, frankly. Unless ITV get bored of playing host to the solo careers of the entire Eastenders cast and send them all packmg. Meanwhile, the always horrific union (of sorts) between Terry and Janine could finally be reaching its end (again) after the less than manly grey ha1red one went to have a chat w1th Janine's cocame dealer and got a rather sav· age beating for his troubles. Realising that, perhaps, Janine really 1sn't the type of person you want to share your twilight years with, Terry begins thinking once agam of h1s lost love lrene. Aww ...

Meanwhile in Chester, the myth1cal figure of Elhe Hunter, who was serving as some sort of extended metaphor for loss and bereavement, has made herself a whole lot less symbolic by turning up on her family's doorstep. Shows what you get for trying to find deeper meaning 1n Hol/yoaks, really .

Unfortunately, having been out of the loop for a while, she has no Idea what a bunch of psychological screw ups her nearest and dearest have become over the last year and so is in for another unpleasant week of schizophrenic screams and sobs.

As 1s Adam who , as 1f not having undergone enough trauma recently with the whole car crash and paralysis thing, now has to suffer a hospital visit from a remorseful Mandy. Needless to say, she 's • sooooo sooooorrryy .. . • Things have calmed down in Oz following the high drama of Woody's return and Libby's birth . Which means, t herefore, we're back to such dramatiC excesses as Leo trying to keep mice in the house without incurri ng Evan's wrath . And Harold, Lou and Toadie discovering that t he movie they 've invested in is the sort we probably won't get to see any clips of unless they ever do late night Neighbours. Although, frank ly, the thought of seeing what Karl and Susan, the dirty couple of Ramsey Street do when we 're not watching IS enough to make me never want to close my eyes again for fear of scarri ng men· tal images.

Phi/ Colvln

\:(;he ~mBuation $ZJinnet $ZYance C(;;Jut/ts8ay 11th @)1~ty C(;;he d/tiLton cfJtotet £25 eit fJo1vn 111ea/ · ett:ictty bLack tie

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£6.50/£5 NUS A

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\:(;he ~mBuation (!/!Jatt dJt:i8ay 12th @)ztlz; £27.50 (pt:ice tbc) @:/l;tt the us1~al 6aitfjlOZtn8 attractions, sifJesho1vs anfJ c£70#( 6avoztt:ites-

ton Bluetones Billy Bragg & The Blokes+ The Waifs The Selector Featuring Pauline Black+ U84T Magnum (original line-up) Alkaline Trio (new date, tickets valid) Complete Stone Roses Lightyear + 4ft Fingers + Jesse James +Sphincter (ska punk night) Stiff Little Rngers Rawkus 'Live' Part Ill punky pop rock feat. local talent Spot + More tbc Teen Spirit (Nirvana Tribute) Hundred Reasons [Spunge) All About Eve 1st Electric Tour in 7 years

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u

NMARCK 11 0 MARCH Z SMARCH ZG

£11.50 £12.50 U/£7 NUS 112.50 £ £7.50/£6 NUS £5 £11.50

iS £6.50/£5 £ £8 £7.50 £15

Tickets available in Norwich from: Waterfront, UEA Union, Soundclash, HMV · For credit card bookmgs tel: 01603 50-80-50 · All prices are advance only (always more on the door) and may be subj ect to a booki ng fee · Doors open 7.30-11pm (expect Sundays at Waterfront 7 -10.30pm) unless otherwise stated · All gigs have an over 14s policy unless ot herw ise stated

..

•

22

lS - ....

Film:

A Ma Soeur Fri March 1-Thu 7 (not Sun ) Cinema City

Campus

Ali UCI. Ster Cent ury dai ly

All films st art at 8.30pm and are shown in L T1

Amelie Sun, M arch 3 Cinema Cit y Don 't Say A Word UC I dai ly

The Others Thu rsday. Feb 28

Shallow Hal UCI. Ster Century dai ly The Man Who Wasn't There Sun, March 3 Cin ema City The Mothman Prophecies UCI previews, t hen daily Vanilla Sky UCI , St er Century dai ly

From Hell UC I daily

Ghost World Fri day, March 1

Oceans Eleven UCI. St er Century da il y

Gosford Park UC I dail y

Bring lt On Tuesday . March 5

Music:

Iris UCI daily

The 51st State Thursday. March 7

Gigs

Last Orders Fri March 1-Sat 9 (not Sun ) Cinema City

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back Friday. M arc h 8

Lord Of The Rings UC I. Ster Century daily

Romeo Must Die Tu esday , Ma rch 12

Metropolis Wed 27. Thu 28 Cinema City

City

Miss Congeniality Sun, March 10 Cinema City

A Beautiful Mind UCI , Ste r Century da ily (from Fnday)

Monsters Inc .

UC I, Ster Cent ury daily

Su ndays Stairway to Zeppelin, lcarus Vision Waterfront March 3 £6.50 Atomic Kitten LCR March 10 £16.50

Haven, The Crescent Norwich Arts Centre Marc h 4 £6 adv

Tuesdays Bluetones, Easyworld Wat erfront March 5 £11.50 Magnum, Tyla Waterfront Marc h 12 £12.50

Wednesday s Spiritualized LC R February 27 £15 Billy Bragg Waterfront March 6 £12.50

Thursdays The Selecter feat. Pauline Black. UB4T Wa t erfront M arc l1 7 £8

ClliUR/ C-4113511 PROCESSING 1 - 4 - 24 HOUR

Mondays

PRICES START FROM £3.99

FREE FILM

WITH 1 HOUR PROCESSING (FROM £5.49) COLOUR PRINT SUES X 5" 6"X4" 7"X 5" 8"X 6" 8" X 10" I 12"PANORAMIC

Saturdays

3.5~

CHOICE FINISHES MATT OR GLOSS

cammew llACI'I'WHm 1 HR D&P 24EXP. £8.79 ..... 36EXP. £9.49 £7.29 ...... " £7.99 4 HR D&P " 24HRD&~ " £ 6.29 ...... " £6.99

.

,

BLACK 'N' WHITE PRINT SIZES 6"X4" 7"X 5" S"X 6" PANORAMIC

-

PRINT FROM PRINTS PRINTS FROM 120, 135, SLIDE TRANSPARENCIES RESTORATION SELECTIVE ENLARGEMENT ENHANCEMENT COLOUR TO BLACK & WHITE PRINTS FROM MEMORY STICK/ PC CARD ADAPTER

PRINTS COME WITH A WHITE BORDER OPTION (EXCLUDING 10X8)

>

Otis Grand and the Big Blues Band Norwich Arts Centre March 9 £ 8.50-10

DIGITAL

01603 767888

.....

lan Brown LCR March 2 £15

~foto

HURN CHEMIST 143 UNTHANK RD.NORWICH. NORFOLK. NR2 2P

Clubs

£2 b4 llpm WeRK Man hat tan s

Thursdays

Status The Con cept Chart and retro £3 b4 11pm, £3.50 after

Spank Time House £1 b4 llpm ( NUS)

Refresh Ikon £5 b4 11pm

Bassment Bar Metro R'n' B and hip hop

Saturday Rewind Bar Met ro Ch art , dance. garage

Jwisted Skunk I Bottom Heavy Po Na Na Discofide Breakbeat 1 funky breaks and beats and Latin grooves.

Free b4 10pm, £2 after.

Butter Me Up 1 Underdog Po Na Na Funky house I jazz beats £3 after 9prn

The LCR disco LCR ( duh) £3

Sunday Service Manhatt ans £2.50

Charty Handbaggy The Loft Gay night DJs Bedfords Crypt Deep tech tr ibal house Free entry

Mondays

Fr i days Garage Nation March 1 LCR £ 9.50 Club Retro feat . Tony Blackburn March 8 LCR £t bc

Sundays

Flockin ' Sheep Ikon Charts and commercial dance £2 b4 11pm Play Po Na Na Disco. funk Free

Tuesdays Funk Friction Owens cafe Bar Life Time Commercia l dance £1 (NUS)

Delirium Th e Concept House. garage and R n· B. Hy Times Hys Dance anthems

£3

Wednesdays Superfly Bar Metro Funk and hip-hop £3

Marvel I Gas Station The Loft Hip hop. funk £3 b4 11pm, £4 after.

Meltin ' Pot The Alrbi Jazz. funk and soul

Gorgeous Manhattans Hardl1 ouse and Trance £5 b4 11pm

Flockin ' Sheep Ikon Cl1arts and Cl1eese

Meltdown The Waterfron t lndie

£4 1£ 3 Isotonic Kafe Oa Progressive t rance and house Free

Hot Ikon Pop and commer ical dance £4 b4 11pm

Jitterbug 1 Jam Po Na Na Funky drum·n·bass 1 11ouse Fr ee IJ.J 10pm. £2 after

Saturdays

Elegance Bar Metro R n· B Parkside Po Na Na House Free b4 9pm. £3 after .

Arts: David Quantrill Co lourful. semi -a bstract paint ings inspired by landscapes Unt il March 23 Cafe, King of Heart s

Theatre Chicago Blues : A Tribute to th e Blues Brothers Marina Theatre . Lowest oft Sunclay . Marcll 3 Students £5 Little Shop of Horrors UEA Drama Socrety Mon 4. Tue 5. Marc h LCR £3.50 cone.

23

Livewire Schedule:

The Directory:

Monday: ABC Taxis All Star Taxis Beeline Taxis Bettacar Taxis Five Star Taxis Loya 1 Taxis

01603 01603 01603 01603 01603 01603

Canary Cue Club Cinema City I k.on Liquid Maddermarket Theatre Mojo's Lock Stock Norwich Arts Centre Norwich Playhouse Po Na Na 's Ster Century Theatre Royal The Loft The Waterfront Tourist Information Time UEA Studio UCI UEA Union Ents

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8-10am: TBA 10-11am: Dairy Display 11am-12pm: Cheese with Mo 12-1pm: Kieran's Show 2-3pm: Frontier Psychiatry 4-Spm: At Large.,, 5-6pm: Failed attemps at humour

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Tuesday: 8-10am: TBA 10-11am: The Narch Buffet 11am-12pm: Natter and lndie 12-1pm: Magical Mystery 1-2pm: Retro and comedy 2-3pm: Choose or die!

3-4pm: The people's choice 4-5pm: Back to basics

edresc 8-9am: Funkadellc 9-10am: Hip hop and breaks 10-11am: Musical excursions 11am-12pm: Chat and choons 12-1pm: Milk and cookies 1-2pm: American lndie 2-3pm: Ben and Jonny 3-4pm: Afternoon frivolity 4-5pm: Illegally Blonde

Thursday.

8-9am: Far from home ...

9-10am: Music and comedy 10am-12pm: TBA

12-1pm: Eight foot pigeon 1-2pm: lndie and humour 2-3pm: Vanishing Point 3-4pm: lndie/Hip Hop/R&B 4-5pm: Mental Institute

Friday 8-9am: Far from home 9-10am: Music and comedy 10-11am: The hangover cure 11am-12pm: Chilled out toons 12-1pm: The Love Boat 1-2pm: Non-stop cheese 2-3pm: The Untitled Show 3-4pm: Punk/Rock/Ska 4-5pm: Random wibble

Saturda 9-11am: The Radio 11am-12pm: Dancing Round ...

12-1pm: lndie/ Alternative 1-2pm: Right Hand of Jam 2-3pm: Ad Hoc Comedy 3-4pm: The Groove Bus 4-5prrt Disco and lndie

Su daj 9-10am: Norfolk 'n' Good 10am-11am: Cunning musical 11am-12pm: Good to you 12-1pm: 60s and 70s 1-2pm: Sunday Review 2-3pm: News and Current Affairs 3-4pm: Not Simon Mayo

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MEN

tXEKJNG

MARK.~

WrNEN

11ins. Blue eyes hkes ten pin bowing,

staying m and cinema . Easy go1ng sort of guy.

WLTMsame Members code 403277

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Members code 294979

EXIB'IM MJ«AS

Phone CSOB 8191472 FoRow the easy ontine Instruc-

Safety When arranging e first date don't accept a lift mvite anybody back to your home g1ve your full name and address to someone before you meet them do dial 141 before calling another contact' number let someone know where you are gomg and who you are going to see meet 1n a publ1c place where there are lots of people take a mobile phone with you think stay safe'

tions and enter your code numbers When prompted entar the 6 d1git member code of the pel"son you WISh to listen to Start exchang1ng messages Its' s1mple!

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SEEI<N3 ~

interests Member code 101283

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chatting

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Abbreviations

WrNEN

R.JN LCMNG Blonde, 5ft Sins enaoys m1nton and swimmmg. WLTM man

Likes the gym, cycling and go1ng out Lookmg for relatmnsh1p Members code 381057

clubb~ng and go1ng out.

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ltC Tender lov ng care

GSl-i Good sense of humour Cl-iAC Own home end car

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Wants to meet someone with sim1lar interests Members code 550714

WllM eels al6t 60p/rrun cleiii'Cnmson PO Box 330 Norwich

09)66

NR13 4XA All members must be 1B year& and IMll' to use thts ser-

w:e

Would t ke to meet

N/S Non smo

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Terma and ConditXIns We re5eiV8 the nght to refuse any recorded profile descnptlon that 1ncludes language of en offenSIVe nature that would cause offence Concrete and cleerCnmson Ltd assumes no I ebdrt;y for the content of e message m response to recorded or published profiles

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