The event issue 151 07 05 2003

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CONTENTS: 07.05.03

EVENT

Easter's a con. Chocolate eggs just aren't what they used to be, and what ' s so good about Good Friday when all the shops are closed and your parents insist on having a 'family gathering.' So, strange as it might seem, it is good to be back in the Concrete office working on another issue. And what an issue.

We've managed to get an exclusive interview with Brian Molko of Placebo when they came to these parts at the end of last term, and it's a damn good one at that, so we hope you enjoy. We also talked to Billy Boyd, better known to most as Pippin from the Lord of the Rings trilogy, about life, acting and filming the epic story in New Zealand. The we've got Reef, Grahame Swift and our own version of Your Face or Mine , only without June Sapong drooning away in your ear, what could be better. Good luck in your exams.

Features 04 LIFE OF BRIAN The Placeb o frontman talks about life, death and what it 's like when everyone assumes you 're a twa t.

06 MOVIE TRAILERS Movie trailers are great, some one has edited all the b e st bits from a film into a handy bite-sized chunk.

We take a look at some of the best.

08 REEF We place our hands on one of Britpop 's great survivors to talk about the great c omeback thing .

Editor-in-Chief Katie Hind Editor Luke Wright Arts Editor Kathryn Hinchliff Assistant Arts Editor Nathan Dixon

09 GRAHAME SWIFT The author of Waterland talks to us after his app e arance a t the UEA Literary Festival

10 LORD OF THE SCOTS Billy Boyd , Pippin from Lor d of th e Rings, talks to The Event about filming the epic trilogy

12 YOUR FACE OR MINE Th e Event does its own take on the new Channel 4 programme and gets to grips with Britain's nastiest

Film Editor Ryan Stephens Assistant Film Editor Phil Colvin Music Editor Mischa Pearlman Assistant Music Editor Joe Minihane TV & Radio Editor Britt Juste Assistant TV & Radio Editor Sarah Edwardes Listings Editor Matt Sargeson Contributors:

Gavin Bates • Katharine Clemow • Kate Herrington • Laura Shanawany • Joel Stickley • Fletcher Walton

TV.

Reg I rs 03 Opinion The Norfolk Fe stival

03 Critical List Fortnightly round-up of the b e st in live events.

04 Almost Famous Up and coming indie hopefuls The Cognition

06 Cinefile Recent dark drama tic fli ck Bully

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Burn Out, Fade Away Wha t e ve r h appene d to The Wedding Present?

Thanks go to Britain, for not being America; Nayr, my little tap-dancing polar bear of excellence, for all his hard work; and Ruth for the truth.

The Event is published fortnightly by Concrete: Post: PO Box 4 10 , Norwich , NR4 7TB Tel: 01603 250558 Fax: 01603 506822 E-mai l: su .concrete@uea .ac .uk Printed by: Archant Newspapers, St Andrew 's Business Park, Norwich

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Dandy Warhols , Blur, Bluetones, Easte rn Lane

15 Singles Radiohead, Shed 7, Busta Rhymes , Alfie

16 Films X Men 2. Old School, Bowling for Columbine (DVD)

19 Arts Musi cals , and Sainsbury's C e ntre 25 th preview

20 TV/Radio Tabloid Ta l es, 100 Best 's, l'm a Cel ebrity ...

10 So You Think You Know 22 Listings Th e Lord of the Rings. of course

And finally ...

14 Albums

Films , gigs , clubs and arts in Norwich this fortnight

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Nathan Dixon takes a look at the Norfolk Festival and brings you up to speed with what's worth checking out ••• f you are one of those tedious people who can often be over heard lamenting the fact that Norwich is boring/nothing happens here/is full of backwards farm work-hands with six to seven toes on each foot and bad acne, then listen up. These people, it should be noted, are rarely found venturing further than their hall's kitchen or local supermarket - or perhaps indulging in the odd excursion to the bar and, if asked, could probably not find their way round the city even with a map. They blame their own dull short-comings - ie. their inability to make friends or organise a night out that does not involve one of the watering holes on campus followed by a bad night club playing bad music with a dance-floor covered in puke, piss and booze on everything and everybody else around them. Seriously, if you manage to spend three years of your life in a moderately large British city these days you have to try very, very hard to find it 'boring'. If you are one of these people then please read on. Those of us that are able to find fun outside of the dim stock student-alcoholic mode will already be aware that there is in fact an arts festival on here in Norwich right now (it started last Wednesday). That's right - culture! And I don't mean the pseudo ghetto-dwelling US garbage most of us are forced to endure whenever we turn on a television set or radio. No, this is a proper arts festival - you know: a little bit like in Edinburgh? Thrown together below are a few of the highlights that (fingers crossed) the odd pound of the loan cheque might find its way towards, instead of propping-up bad local chain pubs. Alternatively, there are numerous leaflets and booklets littered around earnpus at the moment containing the same and more information, should one feel the urge to enquire further. One criticism though - who was it that didn't check whether or not the two weeks conflicted with the student exam pe~od? Naughty people, C+, must try harder next time. Either way, one should be

able to find the odd spare moment to apply the grey matter to something a little more immediately rewarding than regurgitating half-remembered, half-understood facts and other people's opinions.

On the Comedy front - many of us will already have missed Jason Wood and Jirnrny Carr at the Norwich Playhouse last Wednesday, it having been time-tabled (intelligently) during the Easter hols, and the Playhouse's Comedy club consisting of Colin Cole, Jo Enright, Will Smith (no, before you ask) and Keith Fields will also already have taken a bow on Sunday by the time you read this. But don't worry, if you are comedy fans (to be honest, who isn't?), because the inspired spinner of "hysterical rubbish", Mr. Phi! Kay, will be gracing the stage of the same venue on Saturday May 10. This unfortunately conflicts, for Jazz fans , with Bradford Marsalis and his Quartet on the same night at the same time at St. Andrew's Hall, but earlier in the week the BBC Radio Big Band are at the same venue at Bpm if big band music is also your bag. If chamber and/or classical music is more your thing then the events are too numerous to list here; Mozart,Bach,Prokofiev,Sibelius,Bartok,Dvorak.Even Musorsky and Shostakovich pop up in some plac.e s. No Beethoven though, unfortunately. The only area that seems a little sparse is Drama, for some reason, with Everyman, Directed by and starring Sirnon Callow with music conducted by Andrew Parrot, the only production showing, and only for two days, on May 7 and 8. This has been only a brief, rough and heavily abridged, guide to the sort of events that are on over the next couple of weeks, there's loads more.

Anybody in the centre of town on Saturday between 12pm and 4pm may well have wondered what on earth was going on.

Well, now you know- an arts festival! You, Mr. Miserable 'nothing ever happens here' Student: go, now! Switch off your TV set and and do something less boring instead.

UNIVERSITY

RAE grade 5 department Teaching rated as excellent

Cord

Funded PhD studentships

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01 Mogwai Scotish white noise purveyors of lo-fi beauty. The only band to ever make art rock pretentiousness worth listening to.

The Waterfront, King Street, Norwich 07105/03- £10

02 8 Mile The UEA film society give you another chance to cathc Erninem's big screen debut. What this film lacks in direction it makes up in good acting.

LT 1 08/05/03- £2.75

03 Melanie C The ex-Spice Girl some like to call Snorty Spice.

If pop's your bag then this is quite a coup for UEA, but the gig has sold out so see a tout.

LCR 06/05/03 - SOLD OUT

04 Andre Vincent

05 The Godfather

Environmental Science

We offer cutting edge research opportunities in: chemistry hydrology modelling climate change soil biology bioremediation atmospheric science hydro-geophysics soil erosion

A new fortnightly round-up of all the best gigs, plays, films and shows that any self-respecting UEA student iust can't afford to miss •••

Vinent makes comedy out of his battle with cancer of the kidney. A smash hit at last year's Edinburgh fringe, this is a comic and personal triumph.

Norwich Arts Centre, St Benedic:ts Street 15/05/03 • £7 (01603 660352 for booking)

LANCASTER

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A rare chance to see Coppola's masterpiece on the big screen. Pacino and Brando shine in one the greatest films ever made.

Cinema City, St. Andrew's Street, Norwich 2.30pm 18/05/03- £2.50

06 The Delgados Scottish avant garde geniuses, critically acclaimed for melodic strings and harmonies coupled with lo-fi scrathiness, see them now.

The Waterfront 15/05/03- £10 (01603 508050, for booking)

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NERC funded MRes studentships

1U Pacino in The

07 The Underground

Godfather

A 12 month full-time research-led masters programme providing you with the skills for a research career

The Underground is a funky night filled with nostalic trendy tunes - 70s music with indie downstairs.

The Lightbar, Prince of Wales Road 15/05/03, free before 10:30pm, £2 after

MSc programmes High quality masters programmes are available in:

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waste management bioremediation environmental technology pollution & protection hydrology & water quality modelling & forecasting environmental science ecology & the environment management & the environment

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Postgraduate Visit Day - 12th June 2003

The unwell Andre Vincent .

Norwich basedrock outfit with recent airplay from John Peel and Colin Murray. All the paranoia of the modern world with the kick of Britsih rock. Yeah!

The FerryBoat, King Street 17105/02£3

For further details contact: Joanne Stott Tel : + 44 <O> 1524 59 3190 email : j.stott@lancaster.ac.uk www.es.lancs.ac.uk/ admit/ coursePG.htm

07.05.03

04 features

Almost Famous Looking Beyond the Top

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no. 12

Describe the sound of The Cognition ...

Fantastic, absolute world domination stuff. We're the best band you've never heard.

We've got a very eclectic sound, everything's very different. We try out lots of stuff, and if it sounds good it stays and if it doesn't we bin it. That's what motivates us really, to not see the boundaries, to try and do something different.

The manifesto in the music is to kill the competition. We want to write better tunes, better lyrics, everything, than anybody else.

Are you intintidated by the modern music scene?

The pop thing is eating itself up. We've got Gareth Gates doing comic relief and personally I can't think of anyone better. He's actually a robot, the stutter is a fault in the programme.

There are a lot of rock bands coming through at the moment, and this next year or two its hopefully going to take over the charts. We're on the crest of a wave at the moment.

The Libertines are getting great press and they sound like shit, so there's no reason why we can't, and we sound fucking brilliant.

How's the tour with Reef going?

We came on stage at Exeter to a round of applause, which hasn't happened before. We were just starting the first song and people were already crowd surfing, we were like "behave, we haven't even got to the good bit yet."

We've never done a big tour before, these are the first decent size venues we 've played, but midway through I think we're all pretty confident it's all gonna happen.

Any loving feelings toward the Press yet?

The hardest thing is getting good Press. The NME are a bunch of c****. They will only write about people who are under 20, American, or friends of friends. It's a very small community, but the great thing is that people have realised that.

We want good Press but I don't know if we'd get fairly treate d in there . I see a lot of very good bands that aren't getting treated fairly and a lot of s*** bands getting big Press. There's obviously too much silver crossing palms. If people get into us without that s***, then great.

Any interesting stories from your first appearance at the Reading festival? ...

We were first on in the Carling tent and then we spent the rest of the day, back stage watching people from Blue Peter smoking spliffs and doing charlie. The Asian girl.. .I can't remember her name ... was talking to Richard Bacon so they were obviously up to something ... ! reckon there's a Blue Peter drug conspiracy, it's the BBC 's slang for charlie.

For more inform ation on The Cognition , check out their web site. which. surpnsingly. is www.thecognition.com.

Gavin Bates

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The Life of lot of people - music journalists, mainly have a lot of nasty, personal things to say about Placebo frontman Brian Molko . The NME, being the wonderful , open-minded, well-written magazine that it is, have a long-standing history of anti-Molkoitis, a rejudice and blatant hatred that has, "th the recent release of Placebo's new album, Sleeping With Ghosts, kicked riotously back into gear.

"Molko returns, " ran the by-line of their album review. "Not quite as bad as expected." And new-music-magazine-on-theblock Bang went one step further, with, funnily enough, an exNME writer (who shall, for no good reason except professional ethics, remain nameless) turning his album review into a horrendously personal and vitriolic diatribe. "Yes," reads the first line, "Brian Molko - the UK's premier sex dwarf, genderambivalent super-Goth and Marilyn Manson mini-me - is back. The hot news is that he still sucks." He then goes on to suggest that Molko 's "critical faculties have been devastated by cocaine abuse" before making the final, somewhat sweeping, statement that Sleeping With Ghosts is "worse than the last album- but almost certainly better than the next." Yet such vitriol - directed predominantly at Molko himself rather than the band or their music - seems particularly odd, considering that in interview Molko is as courteous and polite and charming as anyone, especially a rock star of his calibre, possibly could be. Even when giving his opinion about the author of the afore-mentioned Bang review.

"Well," he says calmly, "you turn a couple of pages beforehand and he's given the same amount of stars to Sonic Youth and treated Sonic Youth as badly as us . That toothless wonder is very, very bitter and that review says a hell of a lot more about him than it says about us ."

So there's no history there? He smiles at this slightly hidden accusation and draws on his cigarette .

"None whatsoever. I remember he used to hang out with Daphne and Celeste a lot. For a respectable journalist, and one who used to be a published poet as well, I find that quite amusing, that somebody who expects to be taken seriously would rather hang out with Daphne and Celeste than Sonic Youth. But you know, people have agendas and people have their point of view. It's just some people have these unexplainable hatreds. But he better not meet me and Steve in a dark alley in the near future, that's for sure, cause that's fighting talk. You take criticism with a pinch of salt, but when people are unnecessarily vitriolic and using their platform for bullshit like that , for personal insults and character assassination, it's an abuse of their position."

Which is absolutely true . But at the same time , Molko does

have a rather notorious reputation within the media and is known as a particularly difficult interviewee.

"Well," he asks, "how difficult are you finding this? " The answer is not at all. Interviewing Brian Molko is as easy as walking- you ask a question and he answers , politely, extensively and intelligently. It couldn' t really be any easier.

Yet something must have spawned that reputation. Was he more difficult to interview back when the band first started? " No. If I was such a difficult interviewee, then the NME and Melody Maker wouldn't have been able to get such paragraphs of bullshit out of me and such bravado-induced nonsense about sex and drugs that I gave them at the beginning of our career." He sighs. "I don't know, I really don't." is commonly known, Placebo - the bisexual olko on guitar and vocals, the homosexual efan Olsdal on bass and (from 1996) the heteroexual Steve Hewitt on drums - b lasted onto the u sic scene in late 1995, when the band's first single, the blistering Bruise Pristine, was released through Fierce Panda records . Some seven years, four albums (Placebo, Without You I'm Nothing and Black Market Music being the first three) and three million record sales later, Brian Molko is sitting, makeup-le ss, in faded jeans, jumper and beanie, on a stool in the Union bar, talking- and talking a lot- about Placebo's new album , and the meaning behind its title (and title track) .

"When you write a song and call it Sleeping with Ghosts, you don't really imagine that's going to be the name of your album. You always look for an album title which is not a song on an album , because it feels like there's an unfair amount of importance placed upon just one song, and people start looking for that as the song upon which the rest of the album hangs, which isn 't really true . " But we couldn't really come up with anything better. We tried to , we had a lot of names for the record, but Sleeping with Ghosts was the best one . Our A&R guy had just finished putting together the Richard Ashcroft album, so he wanted a rock 'n' roll title. I think the self-righteousness of Richard had gotten on his nerves a little bit, so it became the album title.

"Once you decide that's the name of the record, you know you're going to get asked questions about it, so you have to start thinking about what that means and as a title for a body of work it became, to me, about the relationship you have with your memory, the effect that your memories have on you on a daily basis, the fact that you can change your memories, that they're really completely subjective and the fact that you carry people around with you in your soul, in your subconscious, in your personality, that have affected you and that

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Brian have changed your life for whatever reasons and still continue to have an effect on you on a daily basis today. I just became interested in that relationship, really."

With that in mind, this is, then, presumably an album that the band couldn't have made when they first started in the midnineties.

"Absolutely not. Two words: Nancy Boy. Of course, at the very beginning, that nerd-like, very teenage punk-pop song was what I was capable of. Certainly, at the same time I wrote Teenage Angst, so there was a little depth coming in there, but I really don't consider Nancy Boy to be our best work or that really profound whatsoever. There's a certain depth to this album, a complexity and sophistication and depth which is getting greater album by album, I think. And one of the best examples is that there's no swear words on this album, that there is no list of my medicine cabinet like there was on Black Market Music, there's no 'tuck', 'shit' and loads of names of drugs. I'm quite proud of that because it means I don't need those shock tactics, those song-writing crutches in order to keep people interested, and in a way more people seem to be interested in this record. It doesn't carry that baggage around with it as much as the other records did."

Which may explain why, when performing later that night in front of a sold out crowd in the LCR, and, indeed, a few weeks later in Brixton for the final show of the tour, there was no rendition of Nancy Boy. Placebo, it seems, have moved on from that stage of their career and have reached another. Take, for example, the album's next single, the brilliant This Picture, in which Molko's heart seems to be worn entirely on his sleeve.

"Hang on I though we try I it's gone," he sings, "I can't stop growing old." Indeed, it is probably worth pointing out that Molko has just turned thirty, something which is undoubtedly the driving force behind the very introspective nature of Sleeping With Ghosts - it is certainly as personal a record as any Placebo have recorded so far, and, to go against the grain of the NME and Bang, one of their very best, full of hindsight, memories and retrospection and living much less in the present than their previous three albums. Yet we shouldn't, Molko insists, read too much into lyrics like the above.

"Fear of death has always permeated our work. It 's important to not take the references about growing old out of the con-

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Opposite page .and above, from left to right: Steve Hewitt, Brian Molko, Stefan Olsdal. Together, they are Placebo.

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l~llf)ll '1,01~11." text of each song and imagine that there 's some kind of huge pipe-and-slippers transitional point going on in Placebo's life.

Growing up in a rock band, there's a lot of arrested development that goes on. By the nature of what we do, you kind of remain an eternal teenager anyway. We 've had a lot of intense and crazy life experiences happen to us in a very concentrated period of time. You'd be a schmuck if you didn't learn from them, because that's what they're there for. You'd have real problems if you were the same person at the age of thirty as the age of 22, but at the same time, turning thirty in a rock band is not the same as turning thirty when you work in a bank, so it's not really an issue .

"Physically, it's different, obviously. Any kind of lifestyle change has been prompted by a physical imperative rather than anything else, and probably a desire just to do what you do well and not let lifestyle get in the way of what you do, not disappoint people, not let people down, not let each other down, not let your fans down. That just happens as you do it for longer, especially today, when having a record deal is really precious. People are getting dropped left, right and centre and are hanging onto their deals for dear life. It's time to take it seriously, because when you're 22 you think that you're immortal and it's going to go on forever. Once you spend more time in the music business you know how fickle and transitory it can all be, so when this is all that you can do , when you don't know how to use a computer like I don' t, and you can' t get any gainful employment apart from perhaps being a janitor or a mechanic, which is fine, but I don't have those skills either, I'm tucked, so I've got to keep this thing going for a long time." t is not only Molko 's perspective that has changed, but the band's overall sound as well. Placebo have, Molko admits, "always existed, to a certain degree, to the left of the centre, unaffected by musical trends and movements, and, you know, the Gay Dads of this world," something which they continued (and continue) to do by enlisting U.N.K.L.E. and DJ Shadow cohort Jim Abbiss to produce the new album.

"You get a call going 'Do you want to work with the guy who produces DJ Shadow?' and the answer is yes. And you know, I adore, I absolutely tucking adore The White Stripes, I think

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they're a genius band, same with The Kills. I saw The Kills recently and to me it was life-changing, almost as if I was watching the Velvet Underground. I love those records and I love the sound of those records, but I think it's become incredibly fashionable for the sake of it just to make records that have that sound, what I call the Luddite sound. Those are the two records from that movement which I think are brilliant, I'm not going to mention the ones that I think are shit,

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TDINI{ 'I,Dil'r YOIJ'Ill~ Illllf)ll'rill.. ilNJ) I'I,'S f}OINf} 'rO f}O ON I~Oili~\TJ~Il." but that's never really been our thing. We 're kind of obsessed with trying to create a contemporary rock sound, to be a modem rock band, and for us that means you can' t be an artistic ostrich and pretend that technology doesn't exist. It's there to make your life easier. Obviously, the technology of today is going to sound different from the equipment of the fifties or the sixties, but that's a good thing. And people's ears are trained to different sounds today, they expect things to be more metronomic than they used to be in the seventies, so for us, working with Jim was quite an obvious step, because he worked with Bjork, with Sneaker Pimps, with Massive and with Shadow, and the U.N.K.L.E. album, Psyence Fiction is one of my favourite records of all time, so we knew that it wasn't going to be a case, like on Black Market Music, working with a mate and just doing what you wanted to do, we knew that he was going to have very strong ideas and that there would probably be arguments, but that's what we wanted. We wanted that kind of situation, where people were really pushing and pulling each other in different directions, so that something new could come out of it, something fresh, something that you wouldn't expect to do, and you could go 10 a place musically that you wouldn't expect to be and that you wouldn't have gone by yourself."

Which brings us back to the present, where Placebo are just

as relevant in this world and society as ever. Sleeping With Ghosts may be personal and retrospective and look back into and at the past, but that doesn't make it any less significant in a modem day context.

"I'm writing about living in a world today and the post 9-11 world that we live in today is the backdrop, is the setting for all of these love stories to take place, a world that 's turning into McDonald's is the backdrop and the setting for these stories to take place. I just really believe in talking about life now, you know. You have entertainment and its function is to distract you from life, and art's function is supposed to hold a mirror up to life, so therefore , any genuine act of artistic expression is pretty much in of itself a political statement to a certain degree. However you go about it is fine with me , as long as it raises awareness , and if you're genuine."

So music definitely has a place to be political; then?

"Yeah. Music seems to have a place for anything. If music has a place to fill the pockets of people like Nicky Chapman and Simon Cowell, then music certainly has a place for politics.

Fuck them, you know, let's talk about something important."

With the exception of the anonymous Bang journalist, those are the only nasty words Molko has to say about anybody, and the only time there is any hint of rancour or spite in his half-American, half-English accent. Which, as it is Nicky Chapman and Simon Cowell he is talking about, that if he did, at some point in the past, piss some journalists off, they probably deserved it. But is there any hope , in this corporate, pop-culture dominated, Bush and Blair-led world, for the future? He smiles again.

"I'd like to be optimistic, but probably not. We're probably on a rocky road to extinction, like the dinosaurs, but it's all our own fault really. Unless we evolve into something better, and something, in the first place, that doesn't need religion as a crutch, and a world that doesn't turn its home into a fucking landfill, then the problems are going to keep getting worse and worse. Everybody's optimistic because it's a basic human trait, but you have to temper it with a certain amount of realism, I think."

And on that note, more or less, the interview ends and Brian Molko, slightly late for soundcheck but entirely unconcerned about being so, politely says goodbye and walks away, as nice as nice could be.

07.05.03

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06 features

Cinefile Coming Attractions no.30

Don't tell me that they made a film starring Jim Bowen's animated mascot from Bullseye.

Yes indeed. The filin sees Bully travel to Narnia after finding a secret passage behind his dartboard. Once there, he meets the Care Bears, who recruit him to thwart the megalomaniacal conquest plans of an evil warlock. Unfortunately, Megatron (of Transformers fame) has formed an unholy alliance with the warlock and only Bully's scary-for-an-animal-with-no-opposablethtunbs darts skills can save the day.

You're taking the piss, aren't you?

Well, yes. Bully is actually the story of a group of 17ish-year-olds who are pushed so far by one of their "friend's" bullying that they decide to kill him. The filin begins by establishing the relationship between Bobby (the bully) and Marty (his supposed best friend and prime victim). The homoeroticism which underpins their relationship - blatantly pointed out by Bobby's obsession with gay pom- is somewhat reminiscent of the relationships between the male leads of Kevin Smith's New Jersey trilogy.

Bully, however, dispenses with the witty banter and one-liners and goes for gritty realism, a trait director Larry Clark is renowned for.

Hang on, that name sounds familiar.

Yes, and it should. Clark directed the 1995 filin Kids, possibly the most controversial (and certainly the most depressing) filin of the nineties, which told the story of self-styled 'virgin surgeon' Telly as he wanders the streets, smokes pot and robs 12-year-old girls of their virginity.

So can we expect more of the same here?

While , like Kids, Bully is filled with C!ark's trademark of no-holdsbarred underage sex, the sex (again, like Kids) is not exploitative but establishes characters and situations. The filin also contains a horrific amount of gore in the scene where the group finally murder Bobby.

But he deserves it, right?

This is the moral dilemma of the filin, and Clark doesn't offer any answers because there really aren't any. It's true that Bobby treats others badly - beating and ridiculing Marty at any opportunity, raping Marty's girlfriend Lisa and her friend Ali- but the filin also suggests reasons for this. Bobby's father in turn bullies him, telling him that he'll amount to nothing if he doesn't get a college education and become his own boss. So Bobby vents his frustrations on those smaller than he is. His heartfelt "whatever I've done, I can change" as Marty plunges a driving knife into his stomach suggests that there are other ways to deal with this other than murder.

Like sitting down and talking it out? Sounds a bit too much like Jerry Springer to me.

Funny you should mention that because the whole filin is a pastiche on TV culture. Not so much the spate of TV talk shows like Springer's, but the programs which glorify murder. The kids are oblivious to the real life facts of carrying out such a crime, protected as they are by their white picket fences and wealthy parents obsessed with their bourgeois conventions. The scene where the plot the murder in Pizza Hut seems to be an indictment of the same consumer culture that causes Bobby, through his father, to act the way he does.

This all sounds a bit far-fetched.

That's as may be, but the novel the film is adapted from is based on real events. While the filin carries a disclaimer that some of the facts have been rearranged or added, it's still depicting the horrible reality of kids raised by television and so guarded from the realities of the world by their parents that they'd carry out such a gruesome crime. It's far from easy viewing, but a worthwhile experience.

Ryan Stephens

the evenL 07.05.03

en the first trailer for The Matrix was eleased in !999, the rapidly edited equence of mesmerizing shots was concludd with a question. "What is the Matrix?" it sked. Four years later, its rare to come across anyone who doesn't know the answer. And yet somehow, even without the sense of mystery, the new trailer for The Matrix: Reloaded manages to be just as, if not even more enticing. It would seem that whatever else they have achieved, the Wachowski brothers understand what makes truly great film advertising. But how difficult can it be? Take any huge budget movie, select ten impressive shots, then randomly stick them together in time to music, making doubly sure the result is utterly incomprehensible.

Obviously, it's more difficult than that. Constructing trailers is becoming an art. Knowing exactly how much to give away while ensuring that your product stands out from the crowd can be the key to unlocking tens of millions of dollars. Here 's The Event's pick of six of the best:

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T2: Judgment Day Between Terminator and Terminator 2 something amazing happened: Arnold Schwarzenegger became a star. No one was expecting it, and it probably wasn't intentional, but it created something of a dilemma - was the biggest star in the world (in more ways than one) really going to play a villain in the sequel? The filrnrnakers weren't telling. T2's first full trailer is a masterpiece of ambiguity, contrasting a menacing looking Arnie with an equally unpleasant Robert Patrick. All you knew for sure was that the pair had the potential to create some big explosions.

Sadly, the second trailer chickened out, revealing the Austrian Junk's tender core. Which was a pity, because the first twenty minutes of James Cameron's film relies on the viewer not knowing.

Fight Club Seeing as Fight Club was a commercial failure, it's arguable that its trailers can't have been very good. However, like the film, the advertising wasn't exactly meant for everyone. Under the guise of 'public service messages from 20th Century Fox' , American cinema audiences were treated to one of a pair of announcements from Fight Club's two stars. Edward Norton offered a brief lecture on cinema etiquette, requesting patrons turn off their mobiles and not smoke. He concluded, "and remember, no one has the right to touch you in your bathing suit area." Brad Pitt chose to advise on fire safety, rounding off his points with "Did you know urine is sterile? You can drink it." In the cinemas, people glanced at each other with furrowed brows. Some of them later went to watch the film.

M onty Python a nd the Holy Grail " Once in a lifetime there comes a motion picture that changes the whole history of motion picture ... then there are more run of the mill films like Herbie Rides Again and Monty Python and the Holy Gra1l". Never has a trailer captured the essence of a movie as exactly as Holy Grail's. The voice over is in Japanese with sub-titles, the trailer is rewound three times, and they find time at the end to advertise a local restaurant. It also features some of the film's best gags, including "some day all this will be yours" , ';What , the curtains?" and the witch finding.

Thankfully, this being Monty Python, there were still plenty of unspoiled jokes left for those who bought tickets.

Pictures: Above: Independence Day, right: Matrix: Reloaded

Independence Day Independence Day (or ID4, though it doesn't make any sense)

starred two dependable character actors of limited fame (Jeff Goldblum and Bill Pullman) and a TV star of then questionable cinematic potential (Will Smith) . It was directed by the guy who brought us Universal Soldier and had the most over used plot this side of 'boy meets girl'. It also had an incredible shot of a flying saucer blowing up the White House that was put in the trailer.

The first ID4 trailer was under a minute long, but because the White House exploded people took notice. The second trailer was twice as long and added lots of pointless running around, but the White House still exploded so people stayed interested. The final film was nearly two and a half hours and unforgivably stupid, but the White House exploded so it grossed over $600 million worldwide. People could just have watched the trailer for free.

Payback The trailer for Payback didn't do anything new, but it achieved what most adverts can only dream of: making a terrible product look really, really fantastic . Payback was a mess, a loose remake of Point Blank that substituted the original's tension and style for cruelty and violence. Rumour has it that Me! Gib son had the director replaced by his hairdresser so the star could get his own way.

No such trouble was evident in the trailer, which skillfully matched the movie's many fine camera angles and punches to the beat of Dean Martin's Ain 't that a Kick in the Head. Me! looked great, guns were fired, everyone wore black, Lucy Liu turned up briefly (before that was a bad thing); who was to know it was a huge steaming pile of cynical manure? Not Joe Public, who paid to see the film in droves .

Psycho Most trailers before the mid-eighties were rubbish. Seemingly lasting forever and giving away far too mu ch, they were more likely to deter than attract. Even classics such as The African Queen or The Philadelphia Story look laboured and dull when presented by studio publicity departments. One exception was Psycho. Choosing not to use any footage at all, the trailer follows Alfred Hitchcock on a tour around the Bates Motel.

According to the director, the events in his film were real, "I think we can go inside because the place is up for sale though I don't know who would buy it now" . Hitch is obviously enjoying himself as he shows off his sets, recalling all the gory details. Naturally, the tour ends in the shower room, where we're told, "well, the murderer, you see, crept in here very slowly - of course the shower was on, there was no sound, and ... " As Hitchcock pulls the shower curtain back the screen cuts to black, Bemard Hermann's famous theme screeches to life and Psycho appears on the screen. Genius.

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? stressed eeeee e

Feeling

Stress is part of everyday life. Moderate levels can improve performance but with exams just round the corner campus stress levels are rising and for some of us this will be reflected in the grades that do the opposite ... !

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ot sleeping properly, feeling nervous all the time , forgetting important things and generally lacking motivation are just some of the typical symptoms.

You'd have to be a Tibetan monk not to ever experience stress but there are ways of avoiding that feeling that makes you want to pull your hair out.

At exam time, and during the revision period leading up to it, it's important to get a grip on stress - to manage it, as the experts would say. And the best way to start doing that is to isolate the factors that stress you out. Everyone is different but according to top psychologist and stress-guru Dr David Lewis there are three main student stressors.

Fear of not having enough time to complete your revision can

be solved as simply as devising a timetable and sticking to it.

A plan, a structure covering everything can be revised.

Allocate short bursts of time to each subject area and take a break between each burst. After three bursts take a longer break. This pacing yourself will leave you less stressed.

Data overload is probably inevitable bearing in mind the amount of information to be revised for each exam. But you can minimise your tension by studying from only one or two books at a time , summarising notes onto cards and then revising from these.

The ultimate student stressor, according to Dr Lewis, is fatigue stress. Stress can cause sleepless nights. Sleepless nights leave you knackered. Being knackered makes it easier to put off the work and nip down for a pint instead. Break the cycle

early, get plenty of sleep and when you are revising into the night - as you inevitably will be - mana ge and combat your fatigue . Caffeine drinks, says Dr Lewis, pep you up mentally, making it easier to concentrate .

Coffee isn't everyone's cup of tea (!). Even if you like the taste you might not like the toxins and tarry oils it contains. Red Bull, the stimulation drink, seems to have been designed with student life in mind. Not only does it contain an untainted caffeine hit - about the same per can as a cuppa - but it also delivers functional amino acids which help the body detoxify. It gives you an energy boost - mentally and physically - but do yourselves a favour . Don't drink it just before bed and le ave at least 30 minute s to relax between closing your books and shutting your eyes.

Has exam revision left you stressed & distressed? Help yourself survive the burden of brainwork with Dr Dove's stress test. Begin by answering the. six questions in Part One: 1)Since stal'ting my revision I find it harder to fall a sleep at night a) Agree. I toss and turn for ages b) Sometimes happens, especially if I've been revising late c) Disagree. I go out like a light the moment my head touches the pillow.

2) I am more irritable now than when I started my revision a) Agree. I feel grwnpy from dawn to dusk b) I only lash out occasionally c) Disagree. I am always sweetness and light.

3) Since starting my revision I: a) Can hardly touch my food b) My appetite is unchanged c) I eat like a horse.

4) The effect of revision on my sex life has been: a) I want to do it all the time b) Negligible!

1 )How many ways does the student have of telling the time? a) One b) Two d) Four c) Three 2) Anything odd about this student's time keeping? If so, what? (a) Nothing odd (b) Odd thing is ... ... .... ..... ........ ........... ..... .. ..... ..... .. .

3) What time is showing on the wall clock?

a) 02.00 c) 01.30 e) 01.00 4) a) c) e)

b) 00.00 d) 11.30

How many books are on the table?

4 b) 6 8 d) 12 20

c) What is a sex life?

5 ) Thinking about all the information I have to remember I: a) Stay calm and unconcerned b) Have an occasional panic c) Climb up the wall screaming in terror 6) Since starting to revise I find: a) I am able to concentrate as well as before b) I sometimes find my mind wandering c) Sorry, what was the question again?

Part Two: Now glance at the picture opposite for exactly 5 seconds, cover it up and test your memory of the pie· ture by answering the questions below. Check your responses by glancing back at the picture.

5) Which of the following is NOT a title of one of those books? a) Statistics b) Biochemistry c) Calculus d) Mathematics e) Physics 6) Are there any other hooks in the room? a)No b) Yes, stacked on floor c) Yes, on a shelf 7) How many stars in the sky? a) None, it is daylight! b) None, only the moon c) Six d) Three e)Two

8) How many coffee mugs are on the table? a) None b) Two c)Three d)Six 9 )The student looks? a) Full of energy and ready to run a marathon b) As knackered as I do after a good night out c) Tired but alert. . .. AND THE SCORES ON THE DOORS ...

Scoring Part One Give yourself 1 point for each (a); 2 for each (b) and 3 for each (c) Your Score 6 • 9: Stress levels are normal. You seem to be surviving revising. But watch out for a sudden stress surge as exam deadlines creep closer.

10 • 14: Stress levels are rising . Could be revision pressures are getting to you. Check out likely causes with the picture test results that follow.

15 • 18: Your stress levels are high, and this could be making revising far harder than necessary. Check likely causes by ... scoring the picture test:

Scoring Part Two The first part of the test looked at several aspects of revision stress. Now see just how susceptible you really are ...

Stressor #1 Time Pressures If you were able to answer 2 or more of questions 1 - 3 correctly, fear of riot having sufficient time to complete your revision could be causing you stress.

The Cure Devise a timetable covering all subjects to be revised. Use a large sheet of paper. Allocate 20 minutes per topic. Then take a 5-minute break. Leave your desk during this break. After three 20-minute study sessions, take a ISminute break. Pace yourself in this way and you will be less stressed by time pressures.

Stressor #2 Data Overload If you answered 2 of questions 4 - 6 correctly, you could be stressed by the amount of information to be revised.

The Cure Revise with only one, or at the most two books on your desk. Summarise notes onto cards and study from these.

Stressor #3 Fatigue Stress If you answered 2 of questions 7-9 correctly, fatigue could well be adding to your stress.

The Cure Caffeine drinks (such as coffee and Red Bull Stimulation) pep you up mentally, making it easier to concentrate. Never revise right up to. bedtime. Leave at least 30 minutes between closing your books and shutting your eyes.

Dr Dave a.k.a Dr David Lewis With more than 30 best-selling books behind him, Dr Dave (a.k.a Dr David Lewis BSc(Hons), DPhil, FlSMA, FINSDT.C. Psycol...phew!) is an award-winning psychologist of the highest order.

Formerly a journalist, his research into human performance and stress has been featured in numerous TV programmes worldwide, and BBC's QED series once devoted an entire show to his work.

Much of Dr Dave's work has focused on stress and stress management for young people and students - hence his expertise in preparing this self-help stress test for you...

I 07 .05 .03

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08 features

Burn Out,

Replenished?

Fade Away w hatever happened to ...

Who?

Formed in Leeds in 1985, The Wedding Present are the epitome of everything great about the post-Smiths British independ ent scene which infiltrated the charts in the 80s and early 90s , when British indie music was actually really good and wasn't confused with badly coiffured Sco ts or emotionally ineffectual guitars. Critical darlings , loved by students and (surprise) John Peel, The Weddoes are essentially a vehicle for their only constant, mercurial songwriter , vocalist and guitarist Dave Gedge. They kicked off with Peter Salowka on six string, Keith Gregory handling bass and drummer Shaun Charman, releasing iconic album George Best in 1987. The latter was replaced by Simon Smith's whirlwind percussion in '88, but the line-up has regularly changed.

What?

Everything you always wanted to hear about love (but were afraid to put to music) . Their harsher tunes are breathless, oscillating melds of jangling guitars strummed at breakneck speed with drumfills played even faster, punctuated by the kind of awkward silences only senseless relationship heartbreak brings except, like, in a song; softer tracks, liable to explode any second, slow proceedings with twangy hooks and rolling basslines. This intoxicating frenzy, with an entropic background ambience like a less esoteric My Bloody Valentine, is brought together by the inspiring vocals of the reso lutely English Gedge, who sings witty lyrics about the bittersweet remnants of love and that moment when you realise you've lost your girl.

Dare is the attached bloke 's attempt to establish something with his girlfriend's equally attached mate; Corduroy has Gedge accepting his ex back, all the while wondering if he can and if he should.

Why?

Such pithy lyricists are not often involved in such cathartic ye t accessible music. Apart from Morrissey. A poetic stream of consciousness style with an acute ear for the language of screwed up couples, The Wedding Present's work is perfectly captured in What Have I Said Now? "What do you want me to do I Smile at nobody but you? I Well if you 're going to be that petty I I'm not being unfair I Okay, I am , but who cares?" That romantic quality which makes sadness so intriguing is continually explored - the bandname's derived from Gedge's fascination with the confused emotions of nuptials- and you'd be hard pushed to find courtship and yearning put to song in a better way anywhere. They also have a neat line in fun covers, from Cockney Rebel's Make Me Smile (Come Up and See Me) to Pavement's Box Elder. And they're record breakers, for charting with a new single every month in 1992.

So where are the y now?

Gedge is busy with Cinerama, indulging his love of film scores while remaining bitter about girls. Sally Murrell and former.Weddo Simon Cleave are ever presents but, unsurprisingly, new members drift in and out all the time , including Delgado Emma Pollock. n e tcher Wal ton

ii#IW!itiij@ii 0 7.05 .03

fter nine years of ups and downs , in recent times more downs than ups, Reef have become one of the more established rock bands in Britain. Yet back in 1994 they were just that band from the Sony mini-disc add who the press were writing off before they'd even begun. However, enwyn, rather modestly and perhaps with tongue in cheek, always thought differently.

"I just alway s knew we were going to be massive. I really loved Naked , but we never even released it as our first single, we had a hit before that [Good Feeling] and that went in at number 24, so even if we died after that we were going to be a two hit wonder."

Yet , no doubt with a great amount of satisfaction, Reef produced two great albums , Replenish and Glow, that defied the critics. However, it was always going to be difficult to maintain such success , especially with such a fickle music industry as we have in Britain, and their next album, Rides, saw the band lose direction.

"We lost track of each other, we lost track of our joint vision.

On the first few records we knew what we wanted to do, but by the third album we were thinking maybe we should do chamber music or use didgeridoos .

I'm not saying I'm not interested in other sorts of music but as a four piece band we're a rock band and there 's nothing wrong with that. I love the fact that we're a really good rock band and I think we should have realised that. " Reef did what a great rock band should never do - they dropped the energy, the passion, the loud rock songs, and picked up acoustic guitars. Rides became one of those albums that had no real purpose, like most of those being mass produced today .

"Some of the songs on the third record were really good, but it sounds like we'd made it, which in a way we had, and that 's bad musically. But I'd like to see who wouldn't lose the plot whe n that happens to them."

By the time Getaway was released in 2002 the band, that only four years previously had been so successful, had almost been forgotten , so much so that times became desperate.

"On the fourth album I think we lost track of ourselves totally and the record company tried angling us toward a more pop market which is never going to work with us . When things started looking like they weren' t going as well Sony started freaking out and saying 'you've got to go pop .' Once we realised that, the relationship between us and Sony began to break down. " Music used to be a place for ideas , youth, and energy but now seems to be a place for rich old men whose only concern is the money in their pockets.

"The p e ople in the music industry, the record companies, know nothing about music. I bet every bit of money in my b ank account that you know more about music than anyone I've ever seen in a record company. People like you should b e working in record companies, but unfortunately that's not how it works."

And it seems that this power shift is only too evident in the case of Reefs recent greatest hits album.

"Sony did a greatest hits without our say so, and they've put it out without any marketing whatsoever. We wanted to record an album, but it had been a while, and Sony want to make money obviously. We weren't in any great rush but they were because their sad arse corporate bullshit is actually losing money. Look at all the shit they've signed. All they've done over the last five years is sign pop acts that have had singles

that have gone to number one and they haven't even released the album, because no-one gives a fuck by that time. They've not signed any good rock bands, and the way you make money is by signing good rock bands because they're the ones that sell albums."

Yet those 'fat cats' don't seem to realise this because, like everything else in the twenty-first century, it's all about the money and they have no idea about real music. Which makes it very hard for bands like Reef to continue doing what they want to do, and even harder for rock music to keep its head above the water.

"The reason why there are so many good American rock bands is because it's OK to be a rock band in America.

Whereas in this country you are shot at. I suppose that three quarters of the people who actually try to be a rock band in this country just give up because it 's simply too much hard work.

"We had The Beatles, The Rolling Stones , Led Zepplin, Black Sabbath, The Sex Pistols, The Clash, I could go on, and what have we produced since? With a Jot of British rock bands it could be the same singer and I want to kill that singer because he really bores the shit out of me. There's not much new happening and I can't believe that. " Which all means that we are relying on our good old bands to keep rock n ' roll afloat and, thankfully, Reef seem to be coming up trumps again. The new songs that have been cut and pasted onto their greatest hits are reminiscent of Replenish and Glow; classic Reef- grinding 70's rock hooks and infectious choruses. Give M e Your Love is one of their finest and one of the best rock songs of the last year , which is probably why it faded in and out of the charts without even being acknowledged.

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"I can't believe Sony can't sell that record. We have a guy from Sony who plugs our records , who came back to us four months ago and said no-one wants to play it but he lied, he hadn't even bothered. XFM have been playing it for the last two months. They probably didn't even know it was out because Sony didn't even service them with the record properly."

Which leave s the music industry in a rather precarious and unstable position, and with it much more b ec ause music isn't just about songs . Good music, one of the creations humanity can actually be proud of, promotes ideas and debate, it cre ate s energy and change, it encapsulates all our emotions. Yet this all hangs in the balance , as the po ckets of rich m e n get fatter and fatter and apathy breeds relentlessly.

"I think that music has been a massive tool for the good in life generally, it's been nothing but good for the planet and I'm scared that the system is now beginning to find a way of putting a virus inside the very subversive machine that is the music for the young people. Now they 've got loads of bulls*** which is never going to change the world. In fact , it 's going to keep the world the same, its going to make fat corporations more money and I hate that , so get something else together.' '

features 09

A Novel Approach h

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I

snatches a few brief moments to chat to Graham Swift about his approach

to writing, w.liat He thinks of his critics and striving ne often reads accounts of interviews that were well nigh impossible to come by; stories of intrepid reporters and the lengths to which they went, the trials and tribulations they had to undergo to arrive breathless and exhausted but focused and collected to get to the heart of a matter or personality. The afternoon of my interview with Graham Swift, a guest at the Literary Festival, wasn't one which would lead to a great story, but it was marred by the total incompetence of the staff at his hotel; we missed our appointment and my "interview" consists of a handful of snatched minutes following his book signing at a table in Waterstones while plastic glasses and a few remaining books are tidied away around us. It is worth mentioning that he was more than a little inconvenienced by the aforementioned ineptitude and was in no way obliged to give me the time he did. Little though it was, it was plenty for me to .g et an idea of the kind of man he is and a feel for the way in which he approaches the busi;less of writing. He is quiet, patient, accommodating, gracious and thoughtful. He isn't dynamic or particularly vivacious but he took time to consider my questions and has a quiet but deep-running passion for that which he has chosen to make his livelihood.

I am forever amazed at how many different types of author there are and consequently how many differences in the attitudes they have towards creating fiction. In preparation for my meeting with Graham, author of the enormously popular Waterland, I came across the statement, "Graham Swift's dedication to the art of the novel is single-minded." The author of the article in which it appears is, among other things, arrogant, presumptuous, inflexible and pretentious, she takes three pages to manipulate what he says to "prove" that he is one of the "desperado" writers of our time while he denies knowledge of any such movement and refutes her attempt to pigeonhole him. Bearing this in mind I resolved to reserve judgement until I met him but there is plenty to be read about the man who won't be labelled but is certainly one of the most skilful writers of his time.

The first question I asked was about his response to the critics who presume to know his intentions as a writer. He answered, "I wonder how criti<:S know what my intentions are because I don't know them myself. Writing novels is actually quite a messy, confused, groping around process." He sees writing as an evolutionary process, one that involves running with an idea until "one grim morning" you realise it isn't going the way you intended and have to revise it and start all over again.

When pushed to describe his style and approach he tells me he strives to be "humane" but hesitates to elaborate. What is clear is how important the reader is to him.

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Graham Swift: Stem yet approachable.

in the story, in the book, which struck a chord with him because it's his part of the world, his territory. His own father died in St Thomas's hospital like the character in the novel." It seems that while many film adaptations of books see the integrity of the story sacrificed to the star system, Last Orders benefited from a sympathetic cast who enjoyed the chance to play "ordinary geezers".

As a writer, Graham Swift seems keen to portray life in all its many triumphs and failures, joys and tragedies. He sees each book as a journey both to write and read, "novels aren't statements, they aren't saying something, they are whole experiences. I want to give the reader that experience." The Light of Day is an experience I would wholeheartedly recommend.

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He sees the reader as central to the story and the part they play in interpreting what he, as the creator, gives them, as pivotal. He places a high importance on what he calls the "internal stuff' and while his writing style has changed over the years his work is always interested in character devP.lopment and how people respond to changes in circumstances. His latest offering centres on a character called George, a private detective, who becomes involved with a client who discovers her husband is having an affair with disastrous consequences.

The style is less lyrical and poetic than in past novels such as Last Orders, which became a highly successful and critically acclaimed film starring Michael Caine and Helen Mirren among others. e spoke of the making of the film fondly. While he wasn't directly involved in lhe project saying "it's not really my businP.ss" he spent time on the set talking with the actors and developed a great respect for them in their handling of the material.

He said, "I think I was amazingly lucky with that cast because they weren't really being stars; they were playing ordinary roles, really quite unglamorous roles. Just take Helen Mirren: she was playing this kind of pensioner, playing someone older than she was (and she's played plenty of glamorous roles) and I quite admire her for that; and she did it very well." Swift mentioned that Michael Caine was particularly touched by his involvement with the film, "There are many things in the film,

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10 features

So, You Think You Know •••

Lord of the Scots

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1) Which Irish ·actor was originally cast as Ara gom but was replaced a few weeks into the filming of the trilogy?

2) Which two famed Tolkien artists worked as concept d e signers on the trilogy?

3) Which Hobbit's first big screen ap pearence was m ocking Michael J. Fox playing an arcade game in Back to the Future Part

m 4) Who provided the sounds of the Uruk-hai at Helm's Deep in The Two Tower.f?

5) Which actor claims to have obtained J.R.R. Tolkien's blessing to play Gandalf in a film adaptation of the trilogy?

6) Originally Peter Jackson only obtained funding to make two films . If his original script, which Fe/Jowship of the Ring location

was entirely exorcised from the story to save time?

7) Who received credits as 'Cute Hobbit Children' in The Fe/Jowship of the Ring and 'Cute Rohan Refugees' in The Two Tower.f?

8) Which character will John Noble play in the upcoming Th e Return of the King?

9) Which role connects the following: George Harrison, Sean Cannery and Tom Baker?

10) True or False: As well as providing two songs for The Fe/Jowship of the Ring, Irish singer Enya was to have played Galadriel in the trilogy but had to pull out due to scheduling difficulties?

11) Who broke a toe after kicking an Uruk-hai helmet whilst filming The Two Tower.f?

12) Which actor in the trilogy had such a bad allergy to his facial make up that he would often only be able to work on one day out of every three?

13) In tlie films, Frodo is fifteen years older than Sam. In reality, how much older is Frodo actor Elijah Wood than Sam actor Sean As tin?

14) Which fellowship actor, with a mortal fear of helicopter flying, elected to walk for several hours a day to reach remote locations?

15) Which Icelandic singer was asked to perform Go/Jum 's Song in The Two Towers b ut declined because she had just give birth?

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illy Boyd a native of Glasgow was thrust into the public ey e after starring in Lord of th e Rings in which he p lays the role of Peregrin Took, affectionately known to everyone as " Pippin." Pippin's journey sees him changin g from an innocent, carefree, young h obbit (whose only worry is when his n ext meal will be) to a vital p art of a fe llowship sworn to protect the ring and its b earer. After b e ing cap ture d by a band of Uruk-hai, Pippin along with Me rry b efriend an En t named "Treebe ard " (a guardian and tree-h e rd to the great fore sts of Middle Earth) who together e ventually have a great impa ct on the w ar threatening Middle Earth.

The third film is sche duled for release on December 18th 2003 and sees Pippin subjec te d to further life-changing momen ts .

After starring in one of the b iggest movie e vents of all time and h aving b een voted Sc otland's most e ligible b achelor b eatin g off c onte nde rs such as Prince William, I was justifiably wary a b out the type of egotistical p e rson I would meet. I was h owever p le as antly surprised at the man who greeted me.

He was clad in jeans , a !-shirt and a jacket and hadn' t thou ght to shave that morning. He greeted me with such enthusiasm and warmth that it was hard not to take an instant liking to him. I was later told during the interview th at it is not uncommon for people to believe that fame had or would go to his head.

Laughing he told me how a girl approached him in a bar and had said "I saw Lord of th e Rings, I th ought it was awful " , later after coming back from the toilet his friend told him that she had c onfided that "she had not actually seen the film, but thought she should say somethin g to prevent him from getting a big head. " he 34-y ear-old star started life in showbiz after spending six y ears (four of which were spent as an apprentice) working as a bookbinder in a printers. He tells me h ow from the age of ten after performing as the Artful Dodger in Oliver he knew that his destiny lay in acting.

When asked about how he got the role of Pippin he describes th e process as " really simple. There was a casting agency who had cast me in an earlier film who I went in and read to for both the parts of Merry and Pippin" . Just through skimming th e book he says h e had always been drawn towards Pipp in wh o he describes as having a huge heart. After auditioning, the tap e was sent to Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh in New Zealand, who sat through thousands of tapes of actors from all over the world. Eventually six people were narrowed down for each part and Peter and Fran travelled the globe meeting each in dividual, of which Billy was one.

It wasn't until a month later that he received the phone call saying that the part was hi s. "The part was one, and they very seldom come up, where I just thou ght I really , really want to do this.

Even before filming everyone knew it was going to be very special. So when I Billy giggles to himself about the wonders of modern mak e -up . W e, howevreceived th e news that I had got the part, er, can' t really s ee the difference .

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features 11 I was over the inoon".

Prior to heading out to New Zealand and the cast officially being unveiled, rumours were rife about the people lined up to fill each role.

"People were coming up to me everyday and saying did you hear that AI Pacino has signed up or that Sean Connery was set to play Gandalr'. Once the unveiling had been done, Billy describes how he was thrilled to be working with the likes of Ian Mckellan (Gandalf) and Ian Holm (Bilbo Baggins). "Ian (Holm) has been one of my favourite actors for years, ana so the chance to work with him was amazing".

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lTJnlY SI~JJ)OII (~0111~ IJI,, lfHI~Ill~ I .JIJS'r 'f1HOIJf.H'l, I lli~\.LI..Y; lll~i\.J..J..Y Wi\.N'r '1,0 ))() 'I,HIS. " Before filming began the actors were put through two months of training, involving sword fighting, which, Billy explains, he had already been involved in, having participated in competitions in the past. "I really enjoyed the fencing. We were working with a guy called Bob Anderson, who is an absolute legend in the business, having taught Errol F1ynn and playing Darth Vader in the fight scenes from the first Star Wars movie". Other training done was to generally get fit by going to the gym and'learning how to row.

Once on set, there was a close friendship between Billy and Dominic Monaghan, reflected in the close friendship between Pippin and Merry: "We are very, very similar and we work at the same kind of level as well.

The fact that we are both British guys who enjoy going out for a pint and a game of pool also helped seal the friendship". As a crew, there was a kind of clique comprising Billy, Dom, Elijah"Wood (Frodo) and Orlando Bloom (Legolas). "We kinda hung together because we were the young single guys and we would go to clubs. They're a great crowd of guys.

Orlando is the kinda guy where if there's a chance you can kill yourself he wants lo do it, so everyday we had off we would meet for breakfast and Orlando was always "lets go bungee jumping" and we were like well you know its a 3 hour drive there and 3 hours back. Or he was like "let's buy motorbikes" and we were like "come on, we are not buying motorbikes." And then one day I was walking downtown with him and he says "lets get surf boards" and I was like "I have always wanted to try surfing" and so next thing we are in a surf shop buying wetsuits and it was great. This was probably like ten in the morning and by one in the afternoon we were in the water paddling around on these new surf boards and I just got totally hooked by it to the point where if I did have a later eight o'clock start I would get up at six to have an early surf in the morning before going to work".

As with any film, injuries were not an uncommon event on set. "Orlando cracked a rib falling off the horse and Girnli Qohn RhysDavies) landed on him. Viggo Mortensen (Aragorn) broke his front tooth being hit by a sword. Viggo being Viggo rather than rushing to an orthodontist the way a normal movie star would, he asked them to superglue it in and finished the scene. Dom got stabbed in the foot by Sean Bean. There was a scene in Moria when we are running away from the Balrog and we are on the stairs and they are doing a close up of Boromir protecting Dom and me with his shield and he had to put his sword in his sheath, but he missed it and ended up stabbing Dom. Holding out his right hand, he laughingly confesses how he broke his pinkie whilst surfing.

"I never told Pete. If you don't keep your finger straight for like a month then it will always be bent. The problem was they give you this huge splint to keep it straight. The guys at WF:rA made me a splint of my finger,

Cool. Calm. Collected. Until b ig hotTible monsters with horns the size of Manhattan start chasing him around.

Or: Billy Boyd relaxes while chatting with Laura. which I could put on the bottom part of my finger so that you couldn't see it. So most of the time it was alright. It was during filming Moria, so if you look really closely at the Moria scenes a lot of the time my right hand is inside my cloak. There's something nobody

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Three days after conducting this interview Billy was heading out to America to do the commentary for the extended version of the second film. "Its really funny doing the commentary because it's the first time we ever see the extended version so we'll be chatting away because we've seen the movie ten times saying 'oh remember this' or 'this is the bit where you were sick' and then an extended scene comes on and it just goes silent because everyone sits and watches it. They then have to rewind it and let us watch it again so we can actually comment on it".

Pippin, because of his inquisitive nature, gets himself into trouble, for example, knocking the skeleton down the well or throwing stones in the river. In the second film he, to an e1tent, gets a reign on the trouble he causes.

He knows he shouldn't be doing those things and in the third film (The Return of The King) he probably makes his worst mistake. This in turn leads him to be taken to Minas Tirith, which is the head city of men where he meets the steward who is standing in as king. The steward takes a liking to Pippin and makes him a knight of Gondor. "It's an exiting time for Pippin and he has a lot of growing up to do and a lot of facing up to the world which he is actually living in. It's really exciting, I'm

07.05.03 ij#IW@jli

Your Face or Mine

12 Your face or Mine

13

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Britain it sesse Nas IS

few years ago Who wants to be a Millionaire was the quiz to watch. Cute and cuddly Chris would gently guide his contestants through the fifteen questions leading to the top price. Tarrant is still at it of course, but the show is losing viewers by the millions. Mr nice is quickly - •oe•na overtaken by a new generation of TV shows. A generation where there's no room for lovey dovey contestants and where the audience won't sympathise when he loses out on the big price. It's generation mean.

You only have to look at the current TV listings to realise this.

As you're reading this ten celebrities are living on beans and rice in the Australian jungle for the new series of I'm a Celebrity Get me out of here. The show exposes the contestants at their most unattractive, phobia confrontation is on the agenda each day, and the contestants are thrown not only to the crocodiles but to an even more vicious media that are happily lying in wait to chew them up and spit them out. This show, like many others is set up to produce as much nastiness as possible. To pair up an ex-drug addict with a hopeful model, a celebrity chef and a gay dancer is a match made in reality TV heaven. There is no way these people will behave in a civilised manner, and sure enough there is already trouble in celebrity paradise. Catalina, the dizzy highlighted Cindy Crawford to be, is apparently keeping all the salt to put on her own food. Oh dear ...

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The latest mean TV to hit our screens is Channel4's Your Face or Mine (YFOM) It premiered on E4last year, and after a successful season it is now bringing people's blood to the boil every week7day at 6pm.This ruthless show invites couples to compete, not on knowledge about each other or other trivia, but on looks alone. As the viewer's toes curl the couple are constantly being compared to other people and have to vote who' s better looking, themselves or members of the audience. But it doesn't stop there. In the following rounds the couple's exes are brought on, and they now have to

ii#@IM§i 07.05.03

choose who's better looking, their current beau or the girl/boy who broke their heart. Sounds easy'? Well, in order to take home the cool cash they have to be brutally honest as their answers have to match up with the voting audience.

Ouch! In the last round the couple have to vote which of them is better looking. A sense of humour and a fair amount of b itchiness is required here, not to mention self-confidence in abundance.

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Watching Chris Turant being friendly is just not enough anymore, he is just too nice, and nice spells boring-these days. Foe years we have been watching Fern Britton, Carol Smillie and co being lovely and pleasant, behaving like TV presenter~ should and it seems we are ready for a change. There's something eerily restful about watching other people being humiliated from the safety of your own sofa,. and as you're watching YFOM a sneaking and quite pen.:erse feeling rushes over you: "I wonder how 1 would do, if I entered?" But m here lies the real c~ue, because it is the fact that it's other people's insecurities that are being displayed here, not your o.w n that is the true comfort factor- the public hangings and executions hundreds of years ago come to mind- taXc about voyeurism.

And then there's the whole Qbsession with looks. It seems rather shallow that a couple can actually win money based on how good looking they are (or not, as the case may be). But this is exactly what makes YfOM work. Being judged on looks is the ultimate test. No matter how equal rights possessed you might be, do you want to be known as "that ugly chick that needs to lose half of your body weight?" No, I didn't think so. Like it or not, looks matter in today's society, and a thirty minute quiz show is net going to change that.

Perhaps we should watch more informative programmes rather than sit back with glee, watching fellow Britains being subjected to one humiliating task after the other. And perhaps not. Sometimes we need to fulfil our need to be just a little bit nasty, so move over Chris, or, even better, let us see your nasty streak.

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Celebrity Big Brother, Celebrity Weakest Link, celebrities stuck in a jungle. Why not have a C~lebrity lTOM? The

Event took to the Union Bar to f"md out what well-known couples you would like to see judged by a merciless audience.

"Well, the key to winning this quiz is to get a couple where one half is attractive and the other half really ugly. That way you go home with the money. Based on that, I think Gwenyth Paltrow and Chris Martin would do pretty well."

Rebecca, El\S 2

Pictures (in descending order): Chris Tarrant with Baddiel and Skinner, what nice men; Judy, nice but a bit minging; Blind Date, the original nasty show?

"It would have to be someone bitchy. Zoe Ball and Fat Boy Slim, perhaps. I don't know who'd win the best looks category though. Hmm .. Neither is great but if I had to choose, it' d probably be Zoe. Or Charlotte Church and that minger boyfriend of hers. Isn' t he a DJ too? What is it about ugly DJs?!?"

Natalie, Law 3

"Richard and Judy. I mean, how do you decide who's more attractive? That's impossible! Unless, of course, Judy's jacket comes undone in which case Richard would win with 100 % of the votes."

Jodie, DEV 3 "The Beckhams! I'm so star struck with them, so I'd have to say Posh and Becks. She'd be really snotty but he is so bloody good looking, gorgeous, and so simple so he probably wouldn' t say anything bad about her. He'd win on looks and she' d get the hump."

Linzi, LLT 3 "Tom Cruise and PE!nelope Cruz. She's the ideal woman. She is pretty and sexy, and she seems intelligent too. Perfect lips.

She'd win hands down."

Daniel, MGT 3s

07.05.03 hi#IW@j§ii

14 Albums

The Dandy Warhols Ever since Bohemian Like You became a by word for mobile phone culture, there' s been an unhealthy air about The Dandy Warhols. Always vastly underrated, they suddenly became a pop commodity of the highest order. Sadly though, it required a small piece of cellular technology to push them into this bracket. It's not as if the Dandys never deserved this status.

1998's Come Down and 2000's 13 Tales Of Urban Bohemia were both stuffed full of guitar heavy pop tunes, complete with tidy, wry lyrics, and a couple of incredible summer anthems to boot. Welcome To The Monkey House though, drops the heavy Rolling Stones influences which they plied so well in the past, and looks to the synthesiser for inspiration. The results are sadly mixed. Single We Used To Be Friends is pure early Dandys. It shimmers with fuzzy keyboards, a belting vocal and a chorus so catchy that it makes SARS seem like a 24 hour bug that passes with the ~d. Plan A follows with a simple melody, but the shock comes when Courtney Taylor seems to have his testicles grabbed and twisted by keyboardist Zia McCabe. His !al!ietto wor~. just. Bqt it becomes pretty plain that this is a newly acquired talent. Just because something is new though, does not mean j t should be employed at every turn. The electronica drenched The Dope gets the treatment, as does about every remaining chorus on the album. That deep southern

A great deal has been made in the ever decreasing circles ofBluetones fans about the hand's 'new direction'. After waving goodbye to the.i r earlier songs with a Greatest Hits release, frontman.Mark Morriss promised the next album would embrace a more immediate, rawer sound. Though he wasn't exactly lying, Luxembourg is less an about face than a small step to the left. Clocking in at under 35 minutes, you get 10 choppy, guitar-led tracks, all based around the usual, maddeningly catchy Bluetones melodies.

Notably, by far the best song, Never Going Nowhere, is also the closest to the Bluetones of old. A bright and breezy song about the

end of th'e relationship, it latches into your subconscious and doesn' t let go. If it gets the air play it deserves, expect to be humming it all summer. Elsewhere, the band tackle a range of subjects from the current obsessions with military matters in Code Blue to S and M ("I keep hearing the same rumours about you and satsumas") in Your [sic.) No Fun Anymore.

Yet while the lyrics stay fun, the music becomes repetitive. The result is an album fans should still enjoy, but feels constrained by unwe~come change.

]im Whalley

Next door to Norwich's biggest Urban Streetwear company•••

The Blue Jean eo.

07.05.03

drawl which made the Dandy's so easy to distinguish only makes fleeting appearances. It becomes increasingly clear that the Dandy Warhols have been hellbent on changing their sound. This only stretches to dropping the guitars down in the mix and pushing up the keyboards: or in other words, wl\y don't we give the New Order sound a try'? I Am A Scientist is the best example, four minutes ofrepetetive beats and weak lyrics. The Dandy Warhols Love Almost Everyone sounds like Every Day Should Be A Holiday-lite, a low fat mayo version as it were. Again, 'the voice' makes an appearance. It's when the guitars come back out that things get interesting. You Were The Last High is the album's best track. A catchy riff, a proper vocal and slightly different to other Dandy's material. You·get the feeling that this is what they wanted all along. By current musical standards Welcome To The Monkey House is a good record, yet compared to their previous material, it doesn't come close. It'll still sell more than their others though. Thank the Bohemians at Vodafone.

Think Tank is Blur's biggest creative leap since thier eponymous 1997 album but the change seems far less contrived than a simple rebadging of their sound Think Tank, whilst being a very different record to 1999's 13, isamuchmorenaturalprogression. The record is full of thought, poignant melancholy, and the sweetest of melodies. You only have to compare Out ofTime to Tender to see how Darnon's song writing has become more subtle and honest, and with it, simply better. Other than Out of Time there are no other real single choices, but crazy Beat and We've Got a File On You are pure Blur energy that are tmlikely to disappoint fans.

That said, Darnon's pop sensibilties haven't disappeared, they've just cl)anged out of their clubbing

]oe Minihane

gear and into a hoodie and ripped jeans to settle down for a midnight smoke. And talking of clubbing, On The Way To The Club is simply wonderful and ranks as one of the best Blur songs ever.

Meanwhile, closing track Battezy In.Your Leg, a beat driven, nasty cousin of Essex Dogs, gives us an idea of where Blur were headed before Graham's departure, and despite its fractured "splendour, Blur don't seem to be missing the black-rimmed one.

Think Tank may be missing a couple of absolute classics but on the whole it shows a band confident and making the best music of their careers. Please don't stop now.

BBBB

WkeWzight

Eastern Lane hail from the Scottish town of Berwick-Upon-'IWeed, which is surprising, given that their debut album sounds anything but Scottish. No, this is an album rooted deeply in America and Americana, its ten bleak, desolate songs oozing with the sounds of bands like The Black Heart Procession, Karate, Bright Eyes and Desaparecidos. From the very beginning, with the powerful, desperate and brilliant Dead July, this album grabs you simultaneously by the balls and the heart and refuses to let go. Singer Derek Meins' off-key voice pushes the melodies along, spitting out his often abstruse but always emotive lyrics as if his life depends upon it. ''Do

you know the backs of your hands?" he sings on Humard, each word drawn out, hungry and passionate, the notes high, unstable and, as a result, all the more convincing. "Did they teach you that the veins are all dead ends?"

This isn't, obviously, happy music, but it's not without hope, and it certainly isn't without brilliance. These are feral, primitive and inspiring songs, full to the brim with disjointed beauty and aching tenderness. One of the best albums to come out of Scotland in a long time, no matter · how un-Scottish it sounds.

As the band name, album title and first song suggest, Probably Your Teacher is a three man band (Doug, Andy and Al, to give you a clue), all of whom are, if you're inEAS at least, probably your teacher. Proof that not all academics are boring, stuffy and out of touch.

Anyway, this is a 23 track, 35·minute album of pure, old school punk rock with a great sense of humour and a wonderfully harmonious sense of disharmony.

Particularly fantastic is the utterly surprising appropriation of The Beatle's A Day In the Life midway through seventh song Tabloid, which, bizarre as it sounds, works particularly well.

Also notable are The Ferryboat Bottling Incident

and The Norwich Arts Centre Botuing Incident, two fifteen second-long songs which make you laugh out loud and recall drunken nights that it's probably best not to remember.

And while these aren't the greatest songs ever written, they are, if you're in the right mood for this kind of off-killer, raucous and raw punk rock, pretty damn good Not that it matters - as they sing at the beginning ''We're probably your teacher I You probably think we suck I We're probably your teacher I We don't care."

Quite, quite superb!

Ratings:

la la la

The You ng Ones

Mischa Pearbnan

Mlscha Pearbnan

Vicar of Dibley

GimmeGimme Gimme

Black Books

lllalaBIJ

Blackadder

Singles 15

Going Live

Single Choice Radiohead There There

We're'back: With a vengeance.~ And

Ever since the release of OK Computer in 1997, Radiohead, alongside Nuvana, have been one of the most overrated bands of.the last decade. It really wasn't that good an album. It was, well, OK- half beautiful brilliance, half jejune mediocrity. And as for the self-indulgent misadventures with music that were ](id A and AmnesiaC? Well, better to forget them, because, judging by this single, that's precisely what Radiohead themselves are trying to do.

Of course, There There does contain remnants of their 'experimental' (read 'crap') stage, but they are diluted enough to reveal elements of the same aching beauty that permeated The Bends and made it one of the most earth~tteringly brilliant albums that rock music has ever heard. Thorn Yorke - thankfully - has toned down the feline impressions that helped make the last two albums such an unpleasant listening experience, but his voice is still a far cry from how it was on. say, Fake Plastic Trees. In terms of the Radiohead canon. There There sounds most like an OK Computer b-side. Which, seeing as those were better than some of the eventual album tracks, can only be a good thing. It's a couple of minutes too long though and does begin to grate after the three minute mark. But it's a start. and though there's a long way to go, it's nice to have them at least back on the tracks to brilliance.

,. with ,a full report on Avril Lavigne's ~ opening Brixton concert back iri ,'.'' ·.·~

Mischa Pearlman

Shed Seven

Munkster

Why Can't I Be You?

Help Me Breathe

What seven? Shed who? I thought these guys were dead already . Mind you , this song isn ' t compelling evidence that they're not. With a chorus that goes on for about half an hour and a twiddly little rhythm· that sounds like a mouse having a heart attack , Why Can ' t I Be You ? might well pass you by completely. Don ' t worry , you won ' t have missed much. She Left Me On Fr iday it ain ' t.

Hell , it ' s not even Going for Gold . Let ' s be kind and call it an anthem to rnundani ty .

W ith a slight hint ofU2 (but in a good way) , Help Me Breathe, the lead track on Munkster's new double A-side single is a wonderfully catchy tune which, if there was any justice in the world, would climb all the way from its minor label roots to the top of the charts. It won't, of course, which is a shame, because this is near-perfect rock. Initially soothing and melodious , it builds up into an explosive crescendo of feedback and harmonies and then ends just after the three minute mark.

80's Aryan Lover is a bizarre mixture of reggae and new-wave , but is just as impressive. Buy it. If you can find it.

Mischa Pearlman

foel Stickley

Cave In

I 80's Aryan lover

Skin

Credibility is an interesting thing. Why is okay to like one band or musician and not another? Why are some bands cool and others not? It's really, in the end, just a question of fashion . Which is never really a particularly good reason for anything. So, with that in mind, it 's a pleasure to be able to report that Avril Lavigne - the popstar that everybody wants to hate -was actually fantastic when she performed her first concert at Brixton Academy on March 25. To be ·perfectly honest, expectations, in terms of her live musical capabilities, were not particularly high, but she was absolutely, honestly, genuinely brilliant. Her voice sounded good, her songs were given a slightly rockier treatment that the album suggests she is capable of and it was a thoroughly entertaining and enjoyable gig. And no, of course, she isn't punk and her music is far from life-changing. But it's absolutely brilliant pop- it's what pop should be, not that Blue I Westlife I S Club crap . There. End of point. And credibility. Oh well.

One of the other best pre-Easter gigs (apart from Placebo, who were great) took place at the Arts Centre.just before the end of term, new UEA-based band Eskimo Pi delivering a stunning performance in front of a very enthuastic crowd.

Combining gorgeous vocals (which range from quiet and delicate to ferociously powerful) with loud, electric guitars, Eskimo Pi inject new life into the quiet-loud-quiet-loud formula and were surprisingly confident for a band that haven't been together for very long. But they deserve to be, because they are fantastic . They're playing on the May 15 at Imagine, so be sure to check them out. You won' t be disappointed.

On the May 17, Norwich-based band Cord are playing at the Ferryboat, and should defintiely be worth checking out it 'll be agood way to spend a Saturday night.

As usual, there are also a lot of bigger gigs coming up soon.

letters to You

Anchor Americans Cave In can best be described as a safe bet.

They're nothing new, nothing special, but nonetheless can write a strong tune . Anchor, their latest release , is pulled from the Dave Grohl Book of Songwriting (not available in shops) . It gets straight to work, no messing. Start with one guitar, cue full band working at full tilt, then melodic chorus. Repeat to fade . The fact is that this is better than anything on the second half of the last Foo Fighters record. It rocks hard and is worthy of anything Grohl has written recently. Sadly though, Cave In will simply remain the Foos support band.

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Imagine on Easter morning waking up, searching for an Easter Egg, and rather than discovering the delights of a KitKat Chunky, you are presented with a Tesco own brand lump of chocolate.

Now equate this feeling with music. The result? Trashed, the first single from former Skunk Anansie grrrl Skin. Expected: crashing guitars, thundering bass and a vocal to match. Delivered: four minutes of weepy Mel C style caterwauling, complete with weak acoustic guitars and pop beats. Opening line "I feel just like a soldier/Without a cause to fight" sums it all up really. Let's remember you for what you were Skin, not what you have become.

foe Minihane

foe Minihane

Sean Paul

Alfie

Get Busy

People

Thieving another musicians sound and style is as old as rock'n 'roll itself. There 's nothing wrong with it. It 's called inspiration. If you do it well, you're laughing. Ask Noel Gallagher.

The fact is though that you have to go the whole hog. There 's no room for half-arsing. Sean Paul is a case in point. He looks like Shaggy, sounds like Shaggy, but he isn't Shaggy. Get Busy sounds like It Wasn 't Me without the catchy chorus or the dodgy beats. It lacks another artist who can actually make the record sound semi-decent. Nice try though. As the adage goes: talent borrows, genius steals.

This is alright. It kind of goes blinky blinky blank for a while , then stops . The problem is , a good pop song should go blinky blink blank VOOM! This doesn't - it just goes blinky blinky blank and never quite gets to VOOM. Other than that, there 's nothing really wrong with it. It starts nicely, it ends nicely and it includes every percussion instrument in the school cupboard. It just doesn' t VOOM properly. Would probably be good as background music for something exciting like washing up or pairing socks.

foe Minihane

foel Stickley

Busta Rhymes & Maric:j, Ccrey

Whole Sky Monitor

I Know What You Want

We Grow Up EP

Working together for the second time after their hit, Fabulous, Mariah Carey and Busta Rhymes have put together another catchy r'n'b hiphop mix.

It's certainly the beat that makes this song worth listening to, as the lyrics are hardly awe-inspiring, consisting of ''Baby if you give it to me, I'll give it to you, " repeated in turns by Busta and Mariah, who gives it her usual high-hitting ear piercing screech. The song is on Busta's new album It Ain 't Safe No More, and judging by the other songs, he would be better olf without the help of Mariah. Despite this, I'm sure r'n'b lovers will be bigging it up in the Hive every Thursday.

Rebecca Lawrence

Blandblandblandblandblandblandblandblandblandblandbland blandblandblandblandblandblandblandblandblandblandbland blandblandblandblandblandblandblandblandblandblandbland blandblandblandblandblandblandblandblandblandblandbland blandblandblandblandblandblandblandblandblandblandbland blandblandblandblandblandblandblandblandblandblandbland blandblandblandblandblandblandblandblandblandblandbland blandblandblandblandblandblandblandblandblandblandbland blandblandblandblandblandblandblandblandblandblandbland bland.

Above: Avril Lavigne. She really does play guitar, you know.

Pingathing and the Delgados are playing the Waterfront on May 14 and 15 of this month respectively. Both have already played the LCR this year, when the former supported DJ Shadow way, way back in October (remember October?) , and the latter came on before Qoves when they were here.

Both put on excellent- if, naturally, very different- performances, and will probably do so again when they return to Norwich. And although the Waterfront isn't the best venue in the world, it is nice and small, so you'll be able to get up close and personal. Which is nice.

Finally, moving away from the live stuff to a great competition- we have five, very limited edition prorno-only vinyl copies of two of the stand out tracks from Eastern Lane's debut album: 'Dead July' and 'Portrait Of Tuesday.' If you read the review on in this issue, you'll know that it's a stunning debut album from a great new band. To win, simply answer the following question: "What town are Eastern Lane from? " Ernail answers to su.concrete@uea.ac.uk. First five correct answers win, so hurry up - you really shouldn't miss out on this one.

foel Stickley

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The first X-Men film , while good , did have its share of problems.

Most of these were caused by a low budget that left the film with a dismal running time of 90 minutes and no stand-out action scene to bring it into its own. You couldn't fault the overall effort of the cast and director, though , who all did excellent jobs.

Just from the opening credits of X2 , you can see that the budget for the sequel is much higher, but somehow that hasn 't translated into a better film. While greatly anticipating the movie beforehand, I left the cinema feeling disappointed at what I'd seen.

The story follows Colonel Stryker's attempts to eradicate the supposed mutant threat by killing all mutants through mind control. Along the way the X-Men are forced to team up with their former enemy Magneto, who ingeniously escapes from his plastic prison, in order to liberate their leader Professor X. The plot is far more complex than the first film , but while the first centred on the relationship between Wolverine and Rogue , the latest offering seems unfocused as to what relationship forms the lynchpin of the film. The Rogue / Wolverine/ Jean Grey/ Cyclops quadrangle remains , but added to this is Rogue's boyfriend Bobby, the burgeoning relationship between Storm

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w and the newly introduced Nightcrawler, and Wolverine 's quest for the truth about his past. In trying to tie up plot threads from the first film, set up the story for the next sequel and tell a new story at the same time, you get the distinct feeling that they 're trying to fit a litre into a pint glass . This lack of focus is the first reason that the film is unsatisfying.

The second is a problem that has plagued the comicbook for years: X-Men, thematically, isn 't particularly deep. Yes , prejudice is a bad thing . Yes, some people are bigoted. And yes , we should all try to be more tolerant of people who are different from us. It is an important part of life for people to realise that, but once we've been told , do we really need to be bludgeoned over the head wi th the idea? The first film told the moral well,

but X2 doesn 't do anything new with it, instead rehashing the idea with a new, human villain .

Brian Singer's direction isn 't quite as good as the first film - in places fight scenes are confusingly filmed and cut shots are all too frequent. The ensemble cast once again give it their best and many of those who were relegated to background scenery in the original relish in their much-deserved screen time here.

Wtimately, it's a shame that the script lets the film down . With the bigger budget, this should have been the movie that X-Men so badly wanted to be, but instead it 's an infuriating imitation.

Ryan Steph ens

Old School

Darkness Falls

Director: Todd Philips Starring: Luke Wilson

Director: Jonathan Liebesman Starring: Emma Caulfield

Like fine whiskies, caravanning and swan-diving into pits filled with broken glass, American college comedies aren't for everyone .

Watching moronic teenagers inflict pain and humiliation upon themselves in a quest to get laid is as blissfully hilarious to some as it is tediously vulgar to others.

In the case of Old School, the latest addition to the canon, it boils down to a simple question: is there something inherently funny about a really fat man being dragged from the roof of a threestory building by a breeze block tied to his genitals? If you think there isn't, this is probably not the film for you; I haven't even mentioned the 89-year-old and the paddling pool full of KY Jelly. If you ticked 'yes' , read on, extremely slippery octogenarians await.

As concepts go , Old School's is approaching the stratosphere. Luke Wilson (Owen's brother, the one with the good nose and prodigious jaw) plays a frustrated lawyer who returns home early one day to find his girlfriend in a compromising situation with several blindfolded people . Understandably upset , he goes into a bit of a tailspin, making a fool of himself at a wedding and getting conned into renting a house on a university campus that can only be used for educational purposes . His friends, Vince Vaughn and Will Ferrell, think they have the answer: declaring the building a fraternity lets Wilson stay and opens the door to levels of debauchery that will help him forget his relationship woes.

Emotionally fragile adults returning to college is little short of genius and, to their credit, the filmmakers stretch their great idea in as many devious directions as they can. The supposedly

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mature trio is not bound by class times or the threat of expulsion. They are also supremely well-funded thanks to Vaughn's successful electrical business. When was the last time you attended a party with live music from Snoop Dogg?

But it's the casting that makes the movie . Wilson alternates between drunk , charming and embarrassed with aplomb , even when his role takes an ill-advised swing towards ripping off Fight Club. Vaughn brushes off his Swingers routine, exuding the disconcerting sense that he will happily kill everyone in the room if it means they would have more fun. Ferrell, known here mainly as the bad-guy in Zoolander but famous in the States through Saturday Night Live, is a huge , ungainly force of nature , blundering though the film with only drink and good intentions on his misguided mind. Together they achieve inspired moments of stupidity that might almost make you forget Animal House ever existed.

It hardly needs saying, however, that it never quite succeeds. For all the laughs and winces Old School offers, it remains an inferior imitation of the film that started and immediately perfected the genre, National Lampoon 's Animal House.

From sleeping with high school girls to battling with an unreasonable Dean, John Landis' movie did it first and better. In fact, a better title might have been National Lampoon's Class Reunion , except that ' s already been done as well .

Bugger. ] im Wh alley

Darkness Falls needs little introduction.

Except to say that it is both the name of an American teen horror film , and is the name of the town where the aforementioned film is set. Frankly , anyone choosing to live in a town named like that is asking for trouble , especially when they go around lynching nice old ladies who'll probably curse them and come back from the grave as an evil spirit. Darkness Falls is currently haunted by one such old dear , known as "The Tooth Fairy' (for her love of giving the local children coins for their baby teeth), who was falsely accused of murdering two missing kids and promptly hanged. Before you can say 'Freddy Kruger' she's come back as some sort of ghostly apparition which terrifies the youngsters of modern day Darkness Falls .

And she probably doesn 't even give them money for their teeth anymore. Emma Caulfield and Chaney Kley (one a veteran from TV' s Buffy, the other a poor man 's James Van Der Beek) are the teens fending off the vicious old lady, as she makes her seemingly annual return to the city to wreak havoc on the citizens . But only at night because, obviously, the spirit has an intolerance to light.

Besides a quick attempt to attach 'history' to the proceedings, the parallels to the original Nightmare Upon Elm Street are obvious and not contested. Darkness Falls actually revels in its complete lack of innovation. We have the female killer of course . A shocking revelation only present in half of the American horror industry's output. And then there 's the concept of an evil Tooth Fairy. Some thing utterly original and has never been done before ... Well, except in the recent Hannibal Lecter reprise , Red Dragon and its predecessor , Manhunter. And there is, of course, the Tooth Fairy's aversion to ligh t. Played to th e hilt most recently in The Others and Pitch Black and pretty central to every vampire film ever conceived.

In fact, Darkness Falls boasts such a startling lack of anything approaching originality and is such an unpretentious fright inducer that it manages to successfully operate in a way which more elaborate films of this type often fail. It's not often, frankly , that we get anything approaching a scare amongst the ever increasing

waves of analytical Scream rip offs and last month's overly elaborate horse fuelled madness which was The Ring.

Even the aforementioned Nightmare Upon Elm Street series eventually succumbed to the tired ironic trappings which were W es Craven 's New Nightmare (although , of course , it wasn ' t such a cliche back then. ) Despite all your best intentions to stay indifferent, eventually you'll find yourself warming to the simplicity of first time director Liebesman's reliance on shock cuts and loud music cues. And you'll wit ness a fine bout of wide eyed screaming from the lovely Caulfield. There 's nothing here even remotely noteworthy , and as it's being pitched to the Dawson 's Creek audience don't be surprised that barely a few of drops of blood are spilt. But if you like the idea of an old woman floating around town dragging teenagers to their doom (and who doesn't?) then you ' ll probably get your seventy five minutes worth from Darkness Falls .

Phi l Colvin

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BoV#Iing For Columbine Directed by and starring: Michael Moore Fictional wars, fictional Presidents and now irs claimed that a fictional film won the Best Documentary Oscar. But, as fhil tolvin explains, Michael Moore's film has as much to say about the nature of documentaries as it does about gun culture.

Bowling for Columbine is a film filled with difficult questions and

very few answers. The man asking them is Michael Moore, widely perceived through his film and television work as the champion of the working class against corporate America. In this film his focus begins on American gun culture, but quickly extends to examine the entire makeup of modern American society. It's a bold aim, conducted with Moore's usual panache for documentaries. Like his first feature, Roger and Me in 1989, Bowling for Columbine combines Moore's interviews with a variety of prominent figures and 'normal' members of the public alongside various shocking but unattributed statistics and Moore's ever irreverent commentary. The result is a film which is utterly riveting. But one which is always a little disconcerting to watch. Especially

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because, like Roger and Me before it, Bowling for Columbine begun its theatrical life being widely praised but quickly became plagued by claims of gross inaccuracies and being a downright misrepresentation of people and events. It's a claim which certainly needs to be examined but, to Moore's credit, does not change the fact that this is a film to be watched and not quickly disregarded.

Bowling for Columbine begins with Moore demonstrating how easy it is for an American citiZen to procure a gun (in his case, at a particular chain of banks.) But, as he later points out, his focus isn't on the proliferation of firearms into American society but what about that society compels people to misuse them to such shocking degrees. Most notably, in the Columbine school massacre. Along the way we're frequently made aware of Moore's particular mark on proceedings. Even those without a knowledge of Moore's previous work will detect the anti-mainstream, anti-authoritarian vein which runs through his opinions. So that veteran Hollywood actor, and National Rifle Association figurehead Charlton Heston is presented as a befuddled, borderline racist. Whilst the controversial, and increasingly pantomimeesque rock star Marilyn Manson and South Park eo-creator Matt Stone become the subversive voices of reason.

Sceptics of Moore's work, and the genre in general, have long argued that documentary makers should come from a background of neutrality. A viewpoint which may, indeed, reduce an editorial bias from proceedings but would reduce the tone of the whole enterprise to that of a dispassionate, inconclusive collection of talking heads. Its passion for a subject which makes a ¡ good documentary, and good documentary makers are those who can affix a little of their own spirit to proceedings. In that regard, Michael Moore is one of the best in the business. He's a funny, cynical man whose motivation seems often to stem from little more than an embarrassed disillusionment at why the

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28 Days Later

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Director: Mamoru Oshii Starring: Atsuko Tanaka

Director: Danny Boyle Starring: Brendan Gleeson Not many acclaimed directors would be willing to stake their reputation on a project that seems to have been conceived by a 19-year-old film student.

But Danny Boyle decided to make a ~ombie movie one of the most cliche-ridden genres - and film it all on digital video - a technique usually favoured by the pom industry. This leaves you to wonder whether the man is extremely cocky or ridiculously stupid.

The story sees Jim wake up from a coma to find London desolated, the population ravished by a virus that turns them into zombies. As Jim tries to get to grips with this new reality, he meets and falls in love with Serena and they try to survive against all odds. The tension is heightened by the character's dog-eat-dog attitude. These are not clean-cut American heroes; they are ordinary people doing what they can to survive. And if that includes taking a machete to your best friend, then so be it.

The story is nothing new, but Boyle and writer Alex Garland happily wear their influences - Romero,

world, and especially his own nation, is how it is. And there are moments of wonderful understatement injected into the sometimes exaggerated proceedings. Such as when, having brought Columbine survivors to the head office of K-Mart, the chain siP re where the ammunition which caused their injuries was bought, the store agree to stop selling ammunition. Moore doesn't scr'l!am that he was right and they were wrong, or leap into a tirade about justice being won by the weak over the strong. He just says thank you.

Finding a documentary which re-arranges facts and is selective in its presentation is not difficult. In fact, finding one which doesn't is probably nigh on impossible. Ever since Luis Bunuel threw a donkey off of a cliff to simulate the effects of poverty in his 1932 film Land Without Bread, cinematic documentaries have been in the business of manipulating sound and images to present their viewpoints to the world. Michael Moore is no different, and Bowling for Columbine is a particularly effective addition to the genre because, overly sensational or not, it's not afraid to dabble in some important social commentary. Whether or not Charlton Heston is indeed a gun wielding xenophobe, or Marilyn Manson ¡ an articulate sociologist, there's no doubting that the questions Moore tries to answer by speaking with them are too important to ignore. And although he has his critics among his peers, it should be noted that Michael Moore is currently the only American documentary maker who has been brave and impassioned enough to ask these questions. If other filmmakers are interested or shocked enough by Moore's work to try and address these issues themselves and come to their own conclusions, then Moore has done a good job. And surely that is the purpose of good documentary making.

Wyndham et al - on their sleeve. Unfortunately the choice to film on DV makes the film look more like a cruel pastiche than the loving homage that I hope they both intended. The choice does ; however, give the film's visuals a murky look resulting in an intense atmosphere , beautifully bleak images and a dark tint of the film are genuinely chilling without ever sinking to reality TV cliches.

But as good as this well executed genre fare is, it never transcends its origins and smacks of great talent merely passing the time. But at least they seem to be having fun d oing it. Big budget horror films do have the great asset of allowing you to watch A-list actors being gutted like fish, but this low-budget effort with its personal story, though flawed in many respects, seems destined a become a cult classic. I can't really see the appeal. But who am I to argue with obsessive fans?

Ryan Stephens

Ghost in the Shell was released in 1995 to international acclaim. An easy competitor to Akira as the best

anime ever made , the film tells the story of Kusunagi a cyborg policewoman who has to hunt down a mysterious hacker known as The Puppet Master while dealing with questions of her own identity as a replicant human. The film is a tense political thriller, but more importantly a contemplation on what it is to be human, bringing in questions of identity that will make anyone familiar with post-modem theory smirk knowingly.

That isn't to say that the film is unintelligible if you know nothing about poncey literary theories. At heart it's the excellently animated action scenes that brought in the audience, such as Kusunagi battling a tank with only one mediocre pistol.

The visuals are also breathtaking as we see cybernetically enhanced humans with fingers that separate to make typing easier and cyborgs with their heads open and wires pouring out because they've been hacked. All these scenes look par-

ticularly impressive on the DVD transfer which renders colours much more crisply than easily fading celluloid.

The extras on the DVD include The Making of Ghost in the Shell, an exceptional documentary that takes a look at all aspects of the film's production from the revolutionary animation techniques to the score.

Interviews with a variety of the crew including animators, the director, the score composer and even the creator of the original comicbook make it an interesting insight into a film that took a year to make and shows the hard work of all those involved. Anyone confused by the film (and like any good political thriller it has some complex twists) can use the DVD ROM feature A Guide to Ghost in the Shell to help make sense of one of Japan's proudest a.Rd most interesting exports.

Ryan Stephens

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Arts- - 19 路

The Uar, Stephen Fry

What the-?!

Sainsbury Centre Previevv: This swruner sees the opening of a new exhibition at the Sainsbury centre to celebrate 26 years since its opening. The new exhibits are designed to commemorate the development of the gallery since Sir Robert and Lady Sainsbury had the centre built to house their extensive art collection. Over the 26 years the Sainsbury collection has flourished, more than doubling in size and attracting two and a half million visitors.

Lady Sainsbury has commented on the importance of the Sainsbury centre, "Flexibility and growth were always central to the Sainsbury Centre project, yet throughout the last 26 years one thing has remained constant. At the heart of it all is the importance of the objects and the desire to share our enjoyment of

them."

The purpose of the new exhibition is to highlight the work of the centre over the last quarter of a century. It displays work that emphasizes Sainsbury's support for living artists and will reveal important acquisitions that have rarely been seen by the public.

Lord Foster, the architect who designed the building, will open the exhibition.

Important works on display cover a wide range of disciplines including an eighteenth century tiger painting by the Japanese master Maruyama Okyo - part of an increasing Japanese collection that Lady Sainsbury continues to add to. Also shown are a selection of Amish quilts and exquisitely crafted raised embroidery dating from the seventeenth cen-

Spring Awakening, Drama Society Wederkind's work was deemed so controversial in its unyielding attack on hypocritical Victorian sexual 'morality' that it wasn't until 1963 that the German dramatist's first play, Spring Awakening, was performed on the English stage without its having been significantly expurgated. While its ability to shock may well have diminished for the modem audience, it remains an unsettling and enlightening exploration of the mysterious, at times frightening, experience of awakening sexuality. Much of the play's success lies in the fresh, naive, inquisitive lyricism of the children's dialogue set in opposition to an adult language riddled with moral cowardice - repressed and stilted at the time when an openness and simplicity is needed. The directorial decision to adorn the school staff with grotesque masks emphasised their distance and obscurity in the children's eyes, and the chains were also a nice touch! Madi Lameris performed the headmaster well with a slight cane-swishing sadomasochistic edge, hinting at an underlying concupiscence belying the specious rectitude of both her role and the bureaucratic bourgeois institution it represented.

Melchior is a vibrant character; he has a naive sense of, and desire for, life, and is intended to contrast with the caricatural nature of many of the play's adult parts. But this energy can turn

destructive. Tim Demetris skilfully conveyed the urgency of a youth unsettled by nascent forces he finds difficult to control with almost continual movement. He was always doing something- twitching, shifting weight or posture, giving sideways glances - and displayed a deft comic touch in the more light-hearted moments. The tragic roles of Moritz and Wendla were also handled well- Chris Folkhard brought a sense of emotional fragility to the young master Stiefel that vacillated successfully between powerless resignation and distraught incredulity. And Natalie Peatchy was believable as a wide-eyed, helpless victim of an unjust order. Mark Jackson was the one brave enough to play Hanshen Rilow - the part could never be described as 'easy' - and did so adeptly. Joe Trewellard did well with what must have been a difficult variety of roles. He was, however, unlucky enough to be cast alongside the excellent, scene-stealing Elle ]ones - a talented actress whose emotional range was startling. ]ones's utterly convincing performance as Frau Gabor in the marital quarrel over Melchior's fate gave the scene a passionate punch that was without doubt the highpoint of an excellent production (deserving of more mentions than available space allows), remember her name!

Nathan Dbcon

tury.

Themes are also explored such as Rain or Shine which offers the opportunity for visitors to explore the impact that weather has on our everyday lives as well as how it has influenced art around the world over the ages. Included in this display are a diverse range of paintings and artifacts that really bring the weather home, such as Constable's beautiful cloud study, a parka belonging to an Inuit and a pair of nineteenth century Japanese Thunder Gods.

Adding to the surrealism of the experience is a range of weather inspired animation, music and film. So if you haven't yet managed to find your way to that corner of campus, now is the time to go. Don't wait for the 60th anniversary to visit the Sainsbury Centre.

Stephen Fry's debut novel defied the traditional pattern of television comedians and their funny but unsubstantial literary offerings by exuding both wit and intelligence. An instant number one bestseller, The Liar is pure Stephen Fry. Adrian Healey is a precocious private school boy, flamboyantly homosexual who adopts an air of superiority to get through the trials of a very public puberty. Well armed with the genius linguistic capabilities of the adult Fry, Adrian fares better than perhaps the young Fry did. This is pure speculation as the first page of the novel goes to the trouble of stating "Not one word of the following is true". Yet like many first novels the similarities between Stephen's well documented (in Fry's autobiography) early years and the occurrences in The Liar are clearly numerous.

The Liar follows dual plots that for most of the book seem completely independent of each other. The fact that the plot also refuses to follow a linear structure, and instead jumps from year to year adds to the confusion that make this book a very difficult read. Luckily Fry more than compensated for this by generously peppering the text with filthy jokes, witty ripostes and exquisite sentences. For example, Adrian asked to write an essay on anything, as long as it is an original idea, muses "An original idea. That can't be too hard. The library must be full of them."

Sharing Adrian's limelight is Professor Trefusis, a tweedy eccentric who epitomizes the typical Oxbridge bumbling professor highly intelligent with not much idea of how the real world operates. Trefusis first appeared in Loose Ends, Stephen Fry's radio 4 programme, a platform from which he was able to share his eccentric observations with the world. Many of the transcripts have now been published in the form of Paperweight. Trefusis' character did not change for his literary incarnation- his dustiness is dutifully preserved.

Although The Liar is not the easiest book to read and perhaps requires rereading many times to fully understand the spy plot, it is a beautifully crafted novel that readers will be desperate to read over and over again, to the detriment of everything else.

Music and Dance at the Theatre Royal If you're looking for a cultured distraction from revision (because, apparently, This Morning does eventually get boring), the Theatre Royal is presenting a trio of oppertunities this May. First, between Tuesday 6 and Saturday 10, there is Requiem, the latest production from the Northern Ballet Theatre.

Choreographed in 1991 to mark the 200th anniversary of Mozart's death, it promises to be an impressive experience, featuring a live choir of SO people and the acclaimed NBT Orchestra. Don't expect too much in the way of plot however, as the press release promises "a work full of symbolism; a suitcase, umbrell and shoes all become fascinating icons in this theatrical exploration of man's relationship with death". lfyou'd like to find out what a suitcase has to do with Mozart, make sure you get to one of these performances, as the production will only be visiting two other venues in the country.

Requiem is followed by Andalusian folk opera Carmen (Monday 12 - Saturday 17) written and directed by Salvador Tavora. Tavora takes the well known legend of Carmen ("one of history's most fascinating women") and reinterprets it as flamenco dance drama. The story is based upon the recollections of Tavora's great-great-grandmother, who worked as a cigarette factory worker in 19th

century Seville and was a personal friend of the heroine.

All this pales into insignificane, however, compared to the production's genuine highlight- a specially trained dancing horse who's "exquisite dancing has won special notice from reviewers throughout the world". How the dancers avoid slipping in manure isn't mentioned.

Finally, between Monday 19 and Saturday 24, the theatre presents Britain's oldest opera company, the Carl Rosa Opera. The company is performing a brace of productions: Gilbert and Sullivan's The Mikado from Monday to Thursday and then Johann Strauss' Die Fledermaus for the remaining two nights.

Both feature large casts and a 24-piece orchestra in an attempt to recreate the operas' original 19th century presentations. To briefly recap their respective subjects, with The Mikado you get hilarity, marriage and adventure set in Japan, although there are numerous digs at Victorian society if you care to look. Die Fledermaus is equally entertaining, as vast quantities of champagne lead to all sorts of trouble in Vienna.

So there you have it -the culture is out there, and it's got rhythm. But then so is the LCR, and it's got rhythem too. And booze. The choice is yours.

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Soaps: Most of us can think of a few words to describe Eastenders, and there 's a good chance that most of those will have something to do with suicidal impulses or the depressing feeling you get when your postChristmas bank statement comes through. But 'fairytale'? Unlikely. That's why this week's stab at a Cinderella scenario is cheesier than a pack of Dairylea and a bad case of athlete's foot squared. It's all to do with the new Kat/Alfie/ Dennis love triangle , when one of Kat's white stilettos falls off after a night out clubbing with Dennis. Not one to miss a trick, or indeed a shoe, Kat sets Dennis a life-changing challenge: to find her shoe and bring it to The Vie. Not one to let the odd smear of dog poo or rotting rubbish get in the way, Dennis has a bit of a rummage and finally finds it, although not before standing old Cinders up for a lunch date and making Alfie think he's in with a chance again. Any more cringe-worthy fairytale innuendoes and we 'll start to think we're watching a televised panto.

Perhaps however, it's more promising than what's going on Down Under, where hearts are being broken left, right and centre. Audiences everywhere are set to get the biggest shock since the surprise resurrection of Harold, when Toadie, King of Monogamy and worst catch in Ramsey Street, manages to sleep with Sindi. This airborne wave of illicit canoodling has spread to the likes of Nina and Jack, who continue to get away with it behind the backs of Taj and Lori.

Although, talking of backs and bodily parts in general, just as Jack's about to dump Lori, she slips over whilst trying to dive bomb into a swimming pool and whacks her head, leaving it uncertain if she'll ever walk again.

Things aren't much better in Ho/lyoaks either, as Dan gets arrested for murdering Roxy, which is apparently made all the more worth it by Les, who effectively rugby tackles a policeman and gets carted away in a riot van/police car. Hnut) .. .Intriguing!

Kate Herrington

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He may have been responsible for the sales of the Daily Mirror plummeting recently, but it seems that when it comes ·to television, Piers Morgan certainly knows how to be successful.

His new BBCl six-part series, Tabloid Tales was introduced to the TV listings last Tuesday with a show featuring the tabloid quaen herself, Victoria Beckham.

Taking time out from his Daily Mirror helm, Mr Morgan puts his "Friends of the Stars" (or not) hat on, to give casualties of his - and the rest of the British tabloids - the chance to talk about their turbulent relationships with the Press.

And Morgan was in his element. But so, I would expect, were the audience. Forget the war, the British public is obsessed with celebrity gossip and scandalous stories about gay MPs and naughty royals . So what more could the viewers want than the series to kick of with the former Spice Girl, who we all pretend to loathe, but actually, we are really intrigued by her.

Come on, we all wanted her to tell us the truth about her boob job, how many freebies she receives from her fashion designer cronies - and even more so, whether she was brave enough to sing Who Let the Dogs Out to Jordan.

Commiserations if you missed Posh, but fear not, there are plenty more crackers to come.

We have the delightful big Big Brother "star" Jade Goody to look forward to . Can't wait. No, really, I can' t. Morgan's quick wit versus Jade 's sub 60 IQ will be un-missable television. Let's just hope she keeps her clothes on this time.

Also on the agenda is former Blue Peter presenter Anthea Turner. Who? I hear you say. Not surprising really. Barely known to anyone under the age of 20, she was always better known for her adulterous behaviour than her television skills.

Chastised by the Press for weeks promoting a chocolate bar on her wedding day, which· was sponsored by the glossy magazine , Hello!, she is almost certainly going to give presenter Piers more than a hard time.

Morgan's mission to spill the beans on the country's most popular tabloid victims will be assisted by a number of hacks and paparazzi.

Piers Spills the .Beans on the press and Celebrities

by BBC One He may have been

respons1ble tor the sa les of the Da1 ty Mirror plummeting

recently. bu111 seems that when 1t comes to 1elev1sion, Piers Morgan certainly knows how to be suecessful.

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pan senes. Tablo•d Tales waS Introduced to the TV hs!lngs last Tuesday w1th a show featunng the tablOid queen hersel f.

V•ctoria Beckham.

T ak•ng lime out from his Daily M irror helm,

Mr Morgan puts h1s MFnends of the Stars" (or not) hat on, to give

h•s element . But so. I would expect , were the audience . Forget

casualties of h1s · and

the war. the British

the rest of the Bnt •sh tablOids - the chance to talk about the1r tur· bulent relatiOnships w•th the Press.

And Morgan was in

publ•c •s obsessed wtlh celebnty gosstp and scandalous sto· ries about gay MPs and naughty royals .

So what more could

MASSIVE EXCLUSIVE Also ready for a grilling by the tabloid experts are Beatle wife Heather Mills-McCartney, former MP, Peter Mandalson and Diana's former Butler-turned-journalist, Paul Burrell, all of whome will make intriguing viewing, even if we can't stand them.

TV/Radio 21

•

TV & Rad 10 Highlights Text: Sarah Edwardes

I'm a Celebrity.•• ITV, weeknights 9pm Is it really nearly the end already? Only two weeks ago Catalina and friends were unknown to millions. Now, those of us lucky enough to have caught the new series of this Bafta winning abandon-minor-celebs-in-a-jungle-and-see-what-happens reality show know their bizarre foibles, shoe sizes, and how they react when faced with a pit of man eating (or possibly rubber) crocodiles. With the humiliation factor turned up to eleven, this has been a joyous festival of merciless celebrity-taunting, and we wouldn't have it any other way. I'm a Celebrity, it's like life: nasty, brutish and short.

Miss This: C4, throughout May Sometime last year there came a point when the top ten was no longer enough. Channel4's original format was simple: compile an arbitrary list based on ten prime examples of, say, rock songs, then hire Kate Thomton and Stuart Maconie to relate some of their boundless knowledge of pop trivia for the amusement of the public. This was enough for a while, but soon the executives wanted more. Ninety more, to be exact. So was born the 100 Greatest .. . series, and with it The 100 Greatest TV Ads, Sporting Moments, World Cup Moments, No 1.

Singles, Films, Movie Stars, TV Characters, TV Treats, Kids TV Shows, Greatest Britons, Worst Britons, Medioc!e Britons, WesUife Songs, Swear Words, Tedious 'Satirical' Portrayals of Harmless TV Chefs on Impressions Shows... The

list, appropriately, is endless.

It is easy to see why there are so many of these list shows. They are cheap, simple to compile and can be padded out to fill two whole evenings of prime time scheduling. In a further coup for work-shy producers, all of C4's lists are now decided by an audience vote: we do most of the work ourselves.

Will and Grace

100 Greatest

However - please bear with me on this one - the truth of The 100 Greatest.. . is far more sinister.

All TV relies in some way on creating a sense of collective experience, be it through devising recognisable characters or addressing a common issue. The 100 Greatest ... , like the I Love ... series before it, promotes the illusory existence of a shared culture. Just as the Great Britons vote was rendered a farce by the inclusion of Frank Spencer, these list shows are a fabricated version of a homogenous society, creating false memories at the whim of anonymous phone-poll addicts.

Which is simply a fancy way of saying I'm bored with shows that rouse my forgotten memories of Button Moon or Ant and Dec before they had three letter names, and entice me to watch Clist celebrities spout useless information for six hours towards the revelation of an entirely predictable No. I. Let's not reduce the world to so many meaninglesslists.

Sarah Edwardes

Fridays, C4, 9.30pm American sitcoms, like fine wines, tend to mature with age. They are also expensive and have an unpleasant habit of repeating on you, but that may just be coincidence: So to Will and Grace, now in its third series, and smarter and funnier than ever. Thankfully, the writers have finally moved Grace back into Will's apartment, which promises to up the tension between the two - and the number of sarcastic one-liners. Camper than a very camp thing indeed, but never spilling over into selfparody, Will and Grace is a perfect Friday night companion for the increasingly sentimental Friends.

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CuHing lt Tuesdays, BBC 1, 9pm If there is excitement to be found in the world of hairdressing, no doubt the writers of this BBC drama will

be able to unearth it. Following on from the cliffhanger that ended the last series, Manchester salon worker Allie (Sarah Parish) is faced with the unenviable decision of whether to stick with her loyal husband Gavin or run off with Finn, a charming scoundrel who happens to have slept with both of Allie's sisters and accidentally made advances on her secret teenage daughter. All of which has very little to do with hairdressing, but you can't have everything.

01

Clint Eastwood makes a western for a change. Apparently the grizzled star is allergic to horses. If this is the case, couldn't he have chosen a more suitable career, like almost any other job in the world, for example?

Channel S, May 8, 9pm

Bad Girls Thursdays, ITV, 9.30pm

02

The antidote to all that is real and true in modem drama is back. Bad Girls returns to ITV this week in a flurry of, well, everything. As we rejoin the inmates of Larkhall prison, the girls are busy plotting revenge on Snowball, who caused the fire that raged through GWing, killing Shaz Wylie and injuring many others.

Making Cutting It look worthy of Mike Leigh, Bad Girls has been called 'ironic', but I prefer the term 'rubbish'. Or perhaps 'tacky as a singing fish in a Cornwall gift shop'. Either way, it's infuriatingly addictive. Consider this a guilty pleasure .

GenUemen'.

Body Double Continuing his mission to rip-off (sorry, homage) every Hitchcock movie in existence, Body Double is Brian DePalma's version of Vertigo, with bits of Rear Window thrown in.

Channel4, May 8, lOpm

03

Braveheart They may have taken his life, but they'll never take his freedom. Mel Gibson plays William Wallace, Scottish patriot and make-up pioneer. Those blue smears really bring out the colour of his eyes.

BBCl, May 7, 9pm

The In Crowd Even as the Fast Show team drag the1r farewell tour around the country, sketch comedy, it would appear, IS back. The newest group to cater for the attention deficient is The In Crowd, a Manchester-based fourpiece whose credentials include appearances in Phoenix Nights and Cold Feet and writing credits for innumerable top-rated shows. Specialising in national eccentricities, obsessions and general human strangeness , they may be treading what is now farnihar comedic ground, but at least The In Crowd do it with style. Expect a TV series to be commissioned before you can say 'Smack the Pony meets The League of

The Outlaw Josey W ales

04

X istenZ Despite a cool 'building a gun out of bone' scene and the always good Jennifer Jason Leigh, this is probably David Cronenberg's weakest film. It may hold the record for repeating the same twist over and over again.

BBC 1, May 9, llpm

05 COMEDY WORKS BEST ON RADIO!!!

Soylent Green Probably needs watclung because shows like Futurama keep making jokes about it. If you can't be bothered, the premise has a future version of earth where we're being fed processed people without our knowledge.

BBl, May 10, l.OSam

07.05.03

'22 listings

is sponsored by:

ONE HUNDRED MAGAZINE

Film

All films start at 8.30 pm and are shown in Lecture Theatre 1 unless o therwise stated. Tickets £2 .75

8 Mile Thurs 08/ 05 Erninem's screen deut , worth a look if you missed it first time round LOTR The Two Towers Fri 09/ 05 The big one. Again, it's one you should see Undercover Brother Thurs 15/ 05 It 's a comedy, but is it funny?

The Ring Fri 16/ 05

Competent American remake of the Japenese classis horror flick

From 07/05 Bullet Proof Monk

Johnny English Fri 14:45 ,15:30,17 :00, 18:15 , 19:00, 20:15,21 :15,23:10 Sat 11 :00, 12 :30,13:15 ,1 4:45 , 15:30, 17:00, 18:15, 19:00,20:15 ,21 :15 ,23: 10 Sun 11:00, 12:30, 13:15, 14:45, 15:30, 17:00 , 18:15, 19:00,20:15 Mon 11 :00, 12:30, 13:15,14:45,15: 30 , 17:00,18:15, 19:00,20:15,21:15 Tue 14:45 , 15:30,17:00, 18:15 ,19:00, 20:15,21:15 Wed 14:45, 15:30, 17:00,18 :15 ,19:00, 20:15,21 :15 Thu 14:45 , 15:30, 17:00, 18:15, 19:00, 20:15,21 :15 88 rnins Lord Of The Rings: The Two ..

Sat 11 :15 Sun 11 :15 Mon 11 :15 180 mins Old School Sun 19:00,21:15 Thu 14:30, 16 :45,19:00,21 :15 91 rnins Phone Booth Fri 14:45, 17:00 , 19:00,21 :30,23:40 Sat 14:45, 17:00,19:00,21 :30,23:40 Sun 14:45,17 :00 ,19:00,21 :30 Man 14:45,17:00,19:00,21:30 Tue 14:45,17:00,19 :00,21 :30 Wed 14:45,17:00, 19:00,21 :30 Thu 14:45,17 :00,19:00,21 :30 81 rnins

Fri 21 :00,23:50

Sat 21 :00,23:50 Sun 21 :00 Mon 21:00 Tue 21 :00 Wed 21:00 Thu 21:00 104 rnins City Of God Sun 16:00 Tue 13:30, 16:00,19:00 131 rnins Drea.n\catcher Fri 15:15, 18:15,21 :15

Sat 12:15, 15:15,18:15 ,21:15 Sun 12:15, 15:15,18:15,21 :15 Mon 12:15,15:15 ,18:15,21 :15 Tue 15:15, 18:15,21:15 Wed 15:15,18:15 ,21 :15 Thu 15:15 ,!8:15,21 :15 133 rnins Half Past Dead Fri 14:45, 17:00, 19:15,21 :45 Sat 14:45,17:00,19:15,21 :45 Sun 14:45, 17 :00,19:15,21:45 Mon 14:45,17:00,19:15,21:45 Tue 14:45, 17:00, 19:15,21 :45 Wed 14:45, 17:00 , 19:15,21 :45 Thu 14:45, 17:00,19 :15,21 :45 99 rnins How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days Fri 15:30, 18:00,20:45,23:20 Sat 12: 45 , 15:30, 18:00,20 :45 ,23: 20 Sun 12:45,15:30, 18:00 ,20:45 Mon 12: 45, 15:30, 18:00,2 0:45 Tue 15:30,18:00,20:45 Wed 15:30, 18:00 ,20: 45 Thu 15:30, 18:00,20:45 116 rnins

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ii#IW!MJ§ii 15.o1.03

S Club Seeing Double Fri 15:45 Sat 11 :15,13:30, 15:45 Sun 11:15 ,13:30,15:45 Mon 11 :15 , 13:30,15:45 Tue 15:45 Wed 15:45 Thu 15:45 91 rnins The 25th Hour Fri 18:00,21:00 Sat 18:00,21 :00 Sun 18:00,21:00 Man 18:00,21 :00 Tue 18:00,21:00 Wed 18:00,21 :00 Thu 18:00,21:00 135 rnins The Heart Of Me Fri 13:45,16:00,18:15 ,20 :30 Sat 13:45,16:00 ,18:15,20:30 Sun 13:45 , 16:00,18:15,20:30 M on 13:45 , 16:00,18:15,20:30 Tue 13:45,16:00,18 :15,20:30 Wed 13:45,16:00,18:15,20:30 Thu 13:45,16:00, 18:15,20:30 104 rnins The Jungle Book 2 Fri 14:00,16:00,18 :15 Sat 12:00,14 :00, 16:00,18:15 Sun 12: 00, 14:00 , 16:00 Mon 12:00, 14:00 ,16:00, 18:15 Tue 14:00,16:00, 18:15 Wed 14:00 , 16:00, 18:15 Thu 14:00 ,1 6 :00,18:1 5 72 rnins

Film Gigs Clubs Sun 12:00 Mon 12:00 78 rnins The Recruit Wed 15:00,17 :45,20 :30 114 mins The Wild Thornberrys Sat 11 :00 Sun 11:00 78 rnins Welcome To Collinwood Fri 14:00, 16:15, 18:30,20:45,23:00 Sat 14:00,16:15,18:30,20:45,23 :00 Sun 14:00, 18:30,20:45 Mon 14:00,16:15 , 18:30,20:45 Tue 14:00,16:15,18:30,20:45 Wed 14:00, 16:15,18:30,20:45 Thu 14:00, 16:15,18:30,20:45 86 rnins X-Men2 Fri 14:30, 15:00, 15:30, 17:30,18:00, 18:30 ,20:30,21 :00 ,21 :30 ,23:30 Sat 11 :30,12 :00 ,1 2:30, 14:30,15 :00 , 15:30, 17:30, 18:00, 18:30,20:30,21 :00 2 1:30,23:30 Sun 11 :30 , 12:00,12:30,14 :30, 15:00 , 15:30, 17:30 ,18:00,18 :30,20 :30,21:00 21:30 Mon 11 :30,12:00, 12:30, 14:30, 15:00, 15:30, 17:30, 18:00, 18:30 ,20 :30 21 :00,21 :30 Tue 14:30, 15:00, 15:30,17:30,18:00 18:30,20:30 ,21 :00,21 :30 Wed 14:30, 15:00, 15:30,17:30, 18:00, 18:30,20:30,21 :00,21 :30 Thu 14:30, 15:00 ,15:30,17:30,18 :00 , 18:30,20:30,21 :00,21:30 130 rnins X-Men 2 (Gal) Fri 18:00, 18:30,20:30 ,21 :00,21 :30 Sat 17:30, 18:00,18:30,20:30,21 :00, Sun 17:30,18:00, 18:30,20:30,21:00, Man 17:30,18:00, 18:30,20:30,21:00,

MelC 06/ 05 Sold Out Pa.n\'s House 10/ 05 £7 .50 Hard house DJs Paul Young 16/ 05 £13 .50

Intacto 7th (2.30pm) 8th (6.00pm) L'Hornrne du Train 7th (6.00pm/8pm) 8th (2.30prn18.20pm) I Capture the Castle 2.30pm - 13th/15th/20th 3.30pm - 9th/10th/12th/14th/17th 6.00pm- 9thi!Oth/12th/13th/14th/15th 6.10pm-19th 6.15pm-llth 8.20pm - 20th 8.30pm- 9th/10th/12th/13th/14th/15th/ .17th/18th/19th 8.40pm - 11th Chinatown I Taxi Driver 11th (1.45pm) TheWayWewere 16th (1.00prnl44.45pm)

16th (8.40pm) 17th (6.00pm) 18th (6.00pm) 19th (3.45p m) 20th (6.00pm)

Isotonic Kafe Da Progressive trance & house Free

Thursdays The LCR disco LCR £3 The Underground 2nd and last Thursday of every month £3 Girls and Boys Comercial Pop and Chart Time £2 b4 11.00 £3 after

Laura Cantrell + Paul Birch 09/ 05 £911 0 on the door The Band From County Hell 10/ 05 £817 Rockastella + The Mustard Clench 16/ 05 £5

Mogwai 07105 £10

Charty Handbaggy The Loft Gay night Ministry of Cheese Liquid 9.30 pm until 2.00 am £ 2 students Rebel Lion Bank Thu 7/ 11 The great reggae night £4

Fridays

Ollie Teeba + DJs 08/ 05 £7 students

Delirium The Concept House , garage and R&B

Rawkus Live 16 (feat. When Pets Go Bad+ Wrecked 'Em) 09/ 05

Charts and Dance Liquid 9 .30 until 2.00 £2 students

£5

Ararat

The Little Polar Bear Sat 12:00

Cord 17/ 05 £3

Classic Hits Ikon 10 pm unti1 2 am £2 b4 11 pm

Delgados 15/ 05 £10 Limehouse Lizzy 18/ 05 £9

Clubs Wednesdays

Chart Hits & Classic Anthems Ikon 9.30 til 2.00 £4 b4 11 pm Marvel/ Gas Station The Loft Hip hop & funk £3 b4 11 pm, £4 after Skool Daze LCR Cheese and chart music £4

Saturdays Superfly LockStock .

Funk and Hip-Hop £3 Jitterbug I }an\ Po Na Na Funky drum 'n ' bass & house Free b4 10 pm, £2 afte r

Fly Ikon Chart and Dance anthems £5/2 NUS

Funky Cheese Kafe Da

listings · ~3

-

Clubs Clubs Clubs Garage, obviously £3

Funky Cheese

Live DJS

FREE

FREE

Peac:hes And Cre:am The Light Bar Dance and Hip-Hop £4 (Free b4 10.30pm)

Cheesy Sunday Sc:hool Squares 70s/80s/90s/ Cheese FREE

Bot 2Trot Liquid Dance anthems I R n B £5/ £2 NUS

PoefryorDJ Ten Bells Sometimes features Aislel6

Student Night Squares 2 cocktails for £5 FREE

Arts

FREE

Mondays

Carry On Clubbing Lock Stock Pam's House doing after hours 2amonwards Hanky Spanky

The Loft Biggest gay night out in Norwich £5 (£4 b4 llpm)

Playhouse Loaded LockStock Indie and rock £2NUS Manic: Mondays The Light Bar Chart, dance and retro

The Lounging Sessions The Lounge · Soul and Smooth Grooves FREE

FREE

Student Night PoNaNa Disco, funk and classic grooves

Soiree Owens Masters of Cheese FREE

FREE

Meltdown Squares Cheap drinks

Kinky

Squares With Nikki Elise (Vibe FM)

FREE

2 X 2 1ln Evening Of Duets 09/05 Duets builds upon our The Norfolk Festival's repuation for high quality dance and features some of Britain's leading artists in four contrasting pieces £12/5 NUS PhUKay 10/05 Metro has called him " one of the funniest things on the planet, " and The Event has to agree. Brilliant at Edinburgh last year and well worth a look. £12/SNUS

FREE

Expose

Tuesday

Time

Chart to dance anthems £5

Life ~e

Meltdown Waterfront lndie and nu-metal £4/3NUS

9pm until 2am £1 students DJ Louis The Alibi Funky Latin Tunes £1

Sundays s-dayMania Lock Stock 70s/80s/90s cheese £3 (FREE b4 llpm)

US People Devils Advocate House and US Garage £4/2NUS

Buffet Style Playhouse

Garage Night Lock Stock

Andre Vinc:ent is Unwell 15/05 Vincent cleverly dissects his own experience on the operating table as he deftly proves he can make comedy out of cancer, and find humour in a tumour. With thought provoking originality and biting wit he recounts every detail of his battle with cancer of the kidney (including footage of surgical procedures) to deliver an optimistic and honest monologue that never fails to find the absurd in every situation. £817 NUS

....

Pic:tures (in desc:ending order): Bulletproof Monk (don't see this film, it is bad); Mogwai, see them at the Waterfront on Wednesday 7th; Hugh Jackman as Wolverine in the disappointing sequel to X Men.

Oo MAGAZINE g~~DRED

The iOOispensable gude to getmg lhe most out of '/OCJf leisLre tine ... that's the free tine yoo used to have before

exams, remember.

lt's yo.x rn.rnber one source of flSPII'Stial - 100 reviews of pB;es to 'Yisrt, pubs, clubs, resta.rants. theatre. cilema, shopping, music, books, games, videos Cl1d DVDs websites, gadgets CJ'ld complete entertainment listings.

Plus i1 the May 09 issue you can win a party at the Slug and Lettuce for you and your mates to celebrate the end of term. You'll find details on v.tlat you can win and hem ya; can enter in

100 Magazi"le. a go ontine at www.1 OOmag.co.uk.

NEW 100 MAGAZINE l.FE'S BEST BITS FEVEWED. FREE 'MTH 1l-E ...,,.,..... · - EVERY FROAY.

Go on, have a go.

15.01.03

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1st and LAST

'--------' L-______lj Ti ck ets go on sa Ie Tue 6th May 1Oam