The event issue 163 24 03 2004

movies Pages 10-11

goes Kung Fu

.n,. ,d',

Hae- ya!

Page 8.

02 WON WON WON WON WON bit of street theatre to the concrete office in the form of footage or photos to give us a giggle.

IS: Concre te Editor in Chief Jim Whalley

Free

Assistant Editor Richard Simm

Film Editor Philip Sainty Music Editors Sarah Edward e s & Matt Sargeson TV Editors Tim Barker & Kate Bryant Event Chief Photographer/Dogsbody Colin "I'm still hungry" Griffiths Proof Reading Lizzie Cook Contributors (in order of appearance): Rob Lavine • Emma Rurnball • Joe Espiner ·Jay Anderson · Vix • Glen Thraagus • Be Patashnik • James Banks · Amy Hewitt • Caroline Beer· Jedi · Richie "Casino" Jones ·Amy Symes ·Her 'n ' Me· Dan Chandler · Gary Budden • Paul Case · Sophie Nelson· Suzanne Rodger · Stan Goodspeed · Lucy Ruddock

---

~~~ ,

Event Editor Nathan Dixon

Arts Arranged by : Katharine Clemow & Edward Mooney

I

Ahh, films and alcohol: two of the cornerstones on which our fair society rests; and free

too!

Free DVDs! Burs ting out of the chest that is Twentieth Century Fox Entertainment: Alien The Director's Cut is out to rent and b uy on DVD from 15th March 2004. To celebrate, one of four DVDs will be award ed to the m ost convincing enactment of the John Hurt lil' alien-in-chest scene performed in one of the university's food outlets.

Please bring evidence of your having carried out this

I

Booze!

Coming soon to UEA's student union: Johnny Sensation and his Aftershock Team with a night of drink-

Hilarity!

Last issue we asked you, the students of UEA, to make us laugh in an attempt to win tickets to see Girls Aloud at Time. Maybe it was a particularly difficult week (our dog had just died) but, though many tried , few succeeded. Here is a selection of the lucky few : A doctor is sitting in his surgery preparing to write out a prescription for a patient. He reaches into the top pocket of his white coat and pulls out a rectal the rmometer. "Damn!" he swears. "That means some arsehole must have my pen."

I was in a lecture the other day rudely talking when the lecturer got so mad she said "I'm g onna chop the bottom of your trousers off and send it to the library!" I said that'll be a turn up for the books!

What 's got two legs and bleeds?

Half a dog.

fueled fun .

For

start your night, simply answer the following question: How many different After Shock flavours are there?

Marvellous . Now, stop skanking off us and get a job, you bunch of indolent layabouts!

Now move your eyeballs right to observe the winners of the girls aloud competition, thanks for all the entries:

WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN

WON WON WON WON WON

24.03.04----------------------------------

Opinion 03

A Golden Age of Pop? here was a time when I hated pop. I got into music via Britpop and the mid-90's Now/ albums, then watched as the charts descended into a mixture of dire novelty songs, indentikit trance and dreary indie in the years that followed. But lately all that's changed. We're living in a golden age of pop right now. Don't believe me? Check out the evidence: 'lbric, Crazy In Love, Hey Ya, In Da Club, Sound Of The Underground, Like I Love You, Hot In Here, Seven Nation Army, all in the last two years.

And that's even before you get into the likes of N.E.RD., Electric Six, Sugababes, Kylie, the Strokes, Junior Senior, Ms Dynamite, the Darkness, Basement Jaxx and the Vmes as well as countless other people great oneshot singles. While not all of these are regarded as pop acts exactly, if you think of pop as being what's in the charts at this moment then it's better then it's been in years. So how did it happen?

For the last few years, both over here and in the US, we've been undergoing an 80's revival, as shown by the renaissance of bands like Duran Duran and the Pet Shop Boys, and the Thundercats T-shirts that are still worn around campus. 80's music was spawned by new wave and disco and the decade was the last time that pop was made as something that could be progressive and open to new artistic ideas, before Stock/Aitken!Waterman came in and ruined it all. The leading contemporary writer/producers grew up around that time and are unashamedly ripping it ofVinfluenced by it. As the Neptunes take from Prince, so Richard X takes from the Human League and the Strokes from Blondie. And following in the Strokes' wake, were a horde of new guitar bands armed with style and some brilliant snappy three minute songs.

And the use of old ideas in new ways doesn't end there. While the White Stripes reinvigorate the blues and The Darkness are taking a postmodern look at cock rock, instru-

ments such as the banjo and the steel drum are now being used by acts like the Black Eyed Peas and 50 Cent; Britney's 1bxic mixed Hitchcock strings with surf guitar.

Traditional forms of music are being reinvented and mixed together to make new and exciting things. It would be naive to suggest that this is just being done for artistic reasons; the more ambiguously a pop star can present themselves (whether in image or music) the wider their potential appeal will be, but it's making the music better. That's not to say that all pop is great right now, the majority has never reached those heights, but more is good than ever before. ow long that will last though, is anyone's guess.

Personally, I reckon one more summer and it'll burn itself out. The problem is that a lot of the best stuff is being written and produced by a comparatively small number of gifted musicians. The Neptunes are enjoying a dominance

H

over pop music even Phil Spector or the Motown team of Dozier/Holland/Dozier couldn't achieve , helming everyone from Justin Timberlake to Nelly to Sean Paul to the new Usher/Ludacris collaboration, as well as their own

... the more ambiguously a pop star can present themselves, the wider their potential appeal will be, but it's making the music better... band, N.E.R.D. lf they or Dr. Ore or another of the big production teams peter out, and the garage rock-influenced bands can't keep pumping out great (and commercial) albums, then it'll be no more, replaced by Jamie Cullums, Snow Patrols and, the next big thing, Welsh comedy hiphop. Woo hoo. Pop's not meant to last that long, so enjoy it being good while you can.

24.03.04

---r -..

-- -------- ~--- -------

-----

04 eat ures .....................................................................

rea t's that time of year when spring is in the air, the sun has started appearing and every student on campus has the urge to go out wearing very little at the first sign of warmth... which also means that the eclectic Norwich and Norfolk Festival is once again upon us. The second largest festival in the country has now been running annually for 15 years and 2004 promises to be a spectacular line-up.

The oldest static site Festival in the UK runs from the 5th-15th May inclusive, encompassing a variety of venues both indoor and outdoor and offering a feast of over 60 world-class arts events. It has most recently expanded to include a world variety of jazz, comedy and dance, and 2003 saw the introduction of a Streets Arts Event.

"The festival has always had strong classical music roots," says Peter Bolton, the Festival's Artistic Director. " Every year the festival hopes to bring things to the community that wouldn't normally happen, to serve the broad range of interests of people who live in the area."

"What we've done with the programme is move it from a predominantly classical music festival to one that encompasses lots of other things . Not so much is devoted to music so we now have things like jazz, comedy and dance . It 's

about broadening out the programme."

The street theatre was the brainchild of Peter Bolton in 2000. Since then he has been working yearly to make events more varied and open to people of every age.

"The street festival is about making the Norwich and Norfolk Festival not only accessible but visible, so that more people each year come to know about it. So many of the events are indoors, but this outdoor theatre appeals not only to drama students, but to people of every generation - families can easily bring their children along. It creates a fantastic atmosphere and being a free event, it allows anyone to come along and watch, and anyone who wants to join in to have free , high-quality fun."

Amongst other delights, the Festival promises the UK premiere of Piazolla's opera M aria de Buenos Aires, as well as performances by the Orchestra of Age of Enlightenment, the Philaharmonia Orchestra, John Williams, Malia, Hermeto Pascal's Big Band and the Comedy Club. There are also several walks throughout Norwich, looking at different historical aspects of the city, prices start at £4.

"This year there have been one or two projects that we wanted to do, that we could get in Norwich and not really get anywhere else. We wanted to get exclusive projects. We've got a few things like the first UK production of Piazolla's opera Maria de Buenos Aires which has never been fully staged before. We 've also got the Orchestra of Age and Enlightenment performing two concerts which will cover the complete cycle of the Brandenberg Concertos by Bach, the only time it's been performed in the UK. There are things like the Jazz programme and this year we 've got people like Hermeto

"Bigger Sky aims to bring [the festival's choir tradition] right up to date , by creating a unique opportunity for people of all ages to become involved with a high-profile arts initiative in the

"We've got the first UK production of Piazolla 's M aria de Buenos Aires which has never been fully staged.''

Pascoal coming, a Brazilian jazz instrumentalist. He doesn't perform in the country very often and he 's coming to the opening of the festival . So the quality of the fe stival will b e much higher" . . . . . . he Fesnval aims to reach an even wider audience an d increase co mmuruty parllcip a ti o n , with " Bigger Sky" , launched fo r the fu st tune tlus year. In conjunction Wlth the lo cal cho!Y Btg Sky, 'B1gger Sky' will be a hun dred-s c.:>'1g cho~ made up of members of the public who have a passio n fo~ singing and hve performance. S1an Cross , the choir's director says, " Bigge~ Sky IS all about opporturuty and acce sibility." They will p erfor m a new p iece, based on the works o f poe t Emily Dlckinson and written especially for the festival by Karen Wimhurst, on 1,1ay S:n a· ''o~m..:h Cat;·;::+a'

24.0 3. 04

region," says Rache l Murray, the festival 's marketing manager.

The festival is furthe r c e lebrating after learning that this year 's prmcipal sponsorship will come from the London Eastern Railway, the company who manag e s the ne w Greater Anglia franc hise Group and a subsidiary of the Na tional Expre ss Gro up, whic h takes over from Anglia Railways . The operator has enjoyed a long and close associatw n With the fesnvd1 smce 1991, b ec o nung its principal sp onsor in 1995, and the festlval 1s delighterl that t'"" strong linl{ b e tween the festival and thE: local ra.tl company may contmue long mto the future "[The] announcement re al ly is the best n e ws we could have had as we g ear u p to launch thls year's fes t1va.: w e are very much looking forward to con tmumg •his relationshi,J." The tondo.-. Eas:er n Ra;r--,ays ".'ill S?Onso:

?•

two key events this year; firstly the opening night, featuring the headliners Hermeto Pascoal's Big Band on May 5th in St. Andrew's Hall. The second is the final night on May 15th with the Danish Chamber choir Ars Nova performing a t Norwich Cathedral.

In addition to the enormous variety and calibre of artists , there is a huge variety of ticket prices this year, with some single p e rformances ranging from £5 - £33 m price. This is another of the Festival's aims to allow a broader range of people, who may not normally be able to see these concerts, to have access to such unique performances.

"Each venue has two rows of £5 seats sold on a first come first serve d basis," says Pe ter. "This is because sing le price houses such as The Playhouse 1.~ Norwich have a single seat p rice of £12.

If we offer a £2 conce ssiOn, tickets stil: cost £!0 and we felt that wasn't mud·. of a conce ssiOn fo r people like studen!s ...

The Festival undoubte dly offers s omething 'o~ eve ryo ne bu• Pe er Bo lton says the mam aun 1s to g o alorJ and have fw "The Fe stlva:·s aJm s ' ' promo te a ccessibility to the ans Wl-" c~ programme of events of the tug hes t ea' ibre that has broad appeal fo r pe::>p' o' all ages. We're very excited about o •r p rogramme fo~ 2004 - and hope t:""-' Festival-goers will enjoy the performances and use the Festival as an oppor !unity to explore the A.~ ts and cliscove· new passions:"

Fanta Orang e/Fruit Twist IOOml) 2 Litre (fqwvalento41pper Goodfella's Deeply Delicious Pizza 410路434g fqw\falent to 拢3 66 per kg

Grolsch Lager 300ml Bottles

4 X to 拢2 路08 per htre EquiValent

06 eat e

My CKYingdom, My Jackass.

I

"

shit.

How's the tour been going?

"The tour has b een great, everything's b een re ally fun, especially today. Today the re was this band who were opening for a band who 's opening for a band that's opening for a band tomorrow night, [that's Drive-Thru records' cherubs, Sense Fail to you and me] and they decided on their day off they'd just hang around this place . . . so they were walking up and down the queues

I don't n eed a circus clown to e ntertain m e, and that's Steve-0: a bloody circus clown."

KY are big.

Worshippe d by nations of pierced a n d melan c h 0 1 y teenagers for their early forays into skate/metal videos with CKY: Landspeed, the band, otherwise known as Camp Kill Yourself, find themselves bedecked with a remarkable list of accolades.

Responsible for introducing the first skateboard video franchise into the popular mainstream, the band and their multimedia experiments were the inspiration for Jackass. They truly are at the centre of a whole new white-trash movement of amateur film makers and bored, middle-class males with nothing else to look forward to other than setting their balls on fire with watered downAjax.

Apart from all this , CKY are also a brutal skull-fuck of a band, cleaving thick, sharp riffs into songs about escaping from the seven layers of hell, dead bodies piled high and catching their daugh-

ters sucking off their own brothers. In a microcosm of hundreds of retarded skate/punk bands, CKY offer a fiendish pantomime of hopscotch melody and rock 'n' roll extremes that has only now started to be recognised for its own worth above the aforementioned links with Johnny Knoxville et al.

"I can't believe people are still talking about it, I mean it was 4 years ago that we lent a song to the show, and you've not seen me on there I can guarantee you that." CKY lead guitarist Chad Ginsberg rests easy in the LCR green room half an hour or so before lights out, stoned out of his gourd, still puffing a doobie and, according to one tour manager, "mixing his medications."

"All we did was make an album years before that and put it with our own videos; it was really an underground skate thing, and what Jackass did was what had been going on for years there. It's a faddy thing so people got to hear it from that... I mean, I'm not particularly a fan of that kind of comedy, Steve-0 and whatever. It's not really funny to

Mon, Tue, Wed 5-8 with NUS

me, it's quite boring. Leave it for G.G. Allin (extreme shock rocker apt to masturbate with razor blades), he died for it, you know? I don't need a circus clown to entertain me, and that's Steve-0: a bloody circus clown. I've seen that movie, and I don't want to see it again."

Looking a little like Charles Manson with his unkempt shoulder-length hair and . flourishing chinbush, Chad j spoke like a raw f caricature of Almost Famous' Russell Harnmond egofuelled by his own brilliance, • ...._r.n.-~ conscience assured by an army of fans and his belief in the rock 'n' roll lifestyle verging on the dangerous side of bull-

.....

saying to a couple of fans who got their early 'Yo, CKY are pussies' or something like that. So less than 15 minutes later we had to seriously beat the shit out of them. It was pretty easy, the guy got told 'Look, you don't go around telling other people's fans anything, if you're not a fan stay the fuck away'. Don't fuck with CKY or 15 minutes later you know, you're gonna get beat." ther or not Senses Fail deserved a thrashing (and some eyewitnesses to the ruckus pour doubt on the actual severity of said shitkicking) , Chad was happy to take his violence onstage as well as off, caning an audience member with a microphone stand near the end of gig for his outspoken anti-American opinion. Unsurprising considering the levels of booze consumed onstage, CKY's performance unfortunately tailed off the more they got caught up in the moment and forgot to change guitars after every few songs; as the evening wore on, guitars grew evermore discordant and out of tune, and their back-catalogue of truly great songs fell limp under the resultant noise. The young crowd grew impatient and a few wandere d off, but largely CKY were impressive for nothing more than p laying like a real bunch of metal musicians rather than some milk-and-cookie apron string muthas like Hundred Re asons or The Darkness . This was the D.I.Y. ethic take n to it's most raucous and penultimate c onclusion; a top ten album is surely that one last logical progression. That, or instant, goresoaked d eath.

"It's all about melody," continues Chad, gasping for logic through his purple haze, "I mix and p roduce the albums, Vern writes a lot of really incredible b ass r iffs, Jess has a re al laid-b ack attitud e that come s across in his drumming and Derrin 's insane love of d e ath metal, I mean he's shredding, killing his guitar, he only plays with four strings. It's nothing like a nu-metal thing, its all melody you know. We love everything we d o, they're always going to be good records to us. We don't waste our time with things we don't like. We don't have any influences to copy, so really we're just making sound that works for our ears. If the four of us can agree on it it's gonna stand the test of time and ..." [oh, shut up that's enough - Ed.]

24.03.04 ---------------------------------

Features 07

Eternal Sunshine ad relationships; we've all had them.

Bad breakups; we 've all been there too. The bitterness, the heartache, the drinking binges. But the worst part of all is the memories of the good times, and dwelling on how it all went wrong. Well, what if someone told you that they could erase all of these memories, and that you could simply forget the person that you regrettably got involved with.

Sounds pretty good, doesn't it?

This is the premise behind Eternal Sunshine of the SpoUess Mind, the fifth film written by the incredibly popular Charlie Kauffman , whose previous scripts, Being John Malkovich and Adaptation, have been the talk of Hollywood, and have had audiences around the globe squealing with delight. In this latest slice of quirkiness, Jim Carrey plays the constantly bemused Joel, a shy, well-meaning guy with bad luck in relationships. When he finds out that his latest ex Clementine (Kate Winslet!) has had him eradicated from her memory, he decides that two can play at that game, and enlists the help of Dr Mierzwiak (Tom Wilkinson) and his assistants Patrick (Elijah Wood), Stan (Mark Ruffalo) and Mary (Kirsten Dunst) to rid his own mind of her.

However, Joel has a change of heart, and as the memories dissolve, he tries to hide Clementine in the inner recesses of his mind ...

As expected, the usual Kauffman trademarks are here. Dark humour, unpredictable twists, and comments on the fragility of the human mind play a major role in the film's charm. Michel Gondry, a man lmown mainly for making trendy music videos, does an excellent job as director, using a wide variety of camera tricks and effective special effects to keep the audience on their toes.

I had just gone through. Of course, it made me happy as well, because it proved to me that I had captured the essence of the disintegration of the relationship."

Question: I noticed this film has a cameo appearance from David Cross.

As a big fan of his, I was wondering how either of you lmew him.

Charlie Kauffman: "I met him and his writing partner, Bob Odenkirk, when I wrote for the sitcom Get a Life. We also all worked on sketches for The Dana Carvey Show."

Question: What are your favourite films, and how do they influence you?

(Neither answer this) Question: The casting is very good in this film. Were any of the roles written with these actors in mind, or cast out of familiarity?

CK: "I never write with actors in mind."

have been edited with more scrutiny.

This, however, is a minor complaint, and the overall length does not detract from this entertaining, thought-provoking film. uckily enough, after the showing we get a glimpse, in a cinema in San Francisco, of the two men behind the film. An odd couple together, one tall and one short. The taller is the direcotr, Michel Gondry. He's fairly handsome, in a Gallic way, and is dressed in a loud Hawaiian shirt, jacket and scarf which is the essence of smart casual. The short man next to him is Charlie Kauffman: Leo Sayer-type frizzy hair, stubble that is quickly becoming a beard, jeans, and a leather jacket. He looks deeply uncomfortable, shuffling his feet and standing awkwardly. It is clear from the start that he doesn't want to be there, and it soon becomes apparent that his open hostility and monosyllabic responses to the questions asked, is viewed as very cool in the adoring eyes of the young audience. If this man was not a Hollywood wunderkind, everyone in the audience would realise that he is incredibly rude and unnecessarily standoffish.

However, this is the man who wrote Being John Malkovich (round of

L

MG: "No, we didn't use anyone too familiar to us , except David Cross."

Question: Mr Kauffman, you wrote the excellent Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. Do you believe the story? (The film is about real-life gameshow host Chuck Barris, and his alleged double life as a CIA assassin.)

CK: "Whether he was an assassin or not is immaterial to me. The point is that

he claims to have been an assassin in his book, which is what I based. the

screenplay on. What I find interesting is not what he was or wasn't, but why he would claim he was a killer."

Question: Mr Gondry, I love your music videos, especially the ones you did with Bjork. How did this collaboration come about?

MG: "I come from quite a musical family, and when I was an art student in Paris, I was a drummer in a band called Oui-Oui. I also directed our music videos, which had a small audience.

One was shown on MTV; and Bjork saw it. She liked it, so I did the video for Human Behaviour, and we hit it off. I've done about half a dozen videos with her now, and it all stemmed from there. The White Stripes, Massive Attack, and so on."

And there we have the highlights of a less than glorious session, but still interesting to catch a glimpse, however brief, of the writer behind the films you love. And, truth be told, he seems a bit of an arse.

Kauffman looks deeply uncomfortable, shuffling his feet and standing awkwardly; it is clear from the start that he doesn't want to he here.

The cast also do a tremendous job.

Carrey is so convincing as the subdued Joel that you forget the many years that he shamelessly mugged his way through roles. Winslet! is surprisingly not that irritating as the brash, compulsive Clementine. However, it is the supporting roles that steal the show, adding much needed humour and pathos to buoy up the main storyline. Duns! is especially good as the lovesick Mary, pining inexplicably for Wilkinson, and discovering a dark secret in her own past.

Where the film fails is in its inability to progress past the initial clever premise it establishes. This means that occasionally the film drags, particularly in some of the unnecessary Carrey/Winslett scenes, which should

applause), and he can therefore do no wrong.

After some stilted pauses as the single microphone is juggled back and forth, the questions from the audience begin in earnest. Gondry, much more accommodating and with an outrageously thick French accent, answers the lion's share.

Question: Now that the film is complete, what is your favourite part to watch?

Michel Gondry: "I especially like the parts of the film that deal with Joel and Clementine's relationship falling apart. After filming the scene where they divide up their stuff, me and my girlfriend broke up and when I came to deal with the scene in post production, it made me sad, because it reflected what

www. theatreroyalnorwich .eo.uk THEATRE STREET, NORWICH NR2 1 RL 24.03.04

08

war Yaa!

he West is finally starting to look east properly. Eastern culture is starting to permeate e ve ry fa cet of our live s . Fe ng Shui has promp te d rnin irna list interio r d ecor, philosop hers have to get their head round Buddhist thought (it's not easy, no matter how much the pseudo-krusty that lives across the hall tells you otherwise). However, this is all superfluous to the fact that we can now go and watch Urna Thurrnan slice the top of Lucy Liu's head and not feel ashamed about it.

But it's taken a while to get here. Not long ago fans of the martial art film gem e had to hide themselves away at conventions, moving only under the cover of darkness, dressed like the ninjas they wanted to be and subordinate even to Trekkies as the people most avoided by girls. The transition from repulsion to acceptance has been an ard uous p rocess and in many ways , sadly, it begins and ends (so far) with Quentin Tarantino.

At this point, most aficionados will be spluttering on their fair-trade

24.03.04

espresso and vociferating about Akira Kurosawa. It's true; he has long been acknowledged as a cmernatic geruus.

Seven Samurai (1960) and The Hidden Fortress (1956) provided the template for two of the most revered and emulated films of western film-making: The Magnificent Seven and Star Wars, respectively. But his films were acceptable because they were western influenced; they did not go down well in his home country and he had to come west to find the widespread acceptance his legacy enjoys.

The general format of 'Kung Fu' films differ from Kurosawa in terms of loose and formulaic plots: boy/man is wronged by an evil, tyrannical Kung Fu killer; is then adopted by yoda-esque master figure who trains him in an unknown style; then goes and has a final, lengthy showdown with said nasty wrongdoer. It is generally considered bad cinema, largley due to the emphasis placed on the fight scenes, which are long. So long, in fact, that in some cases they have been known to cornprise about sixty percent of the running time.

Horrendously long showdowns appeal to martial artists. Martial arts have long been a revered part of eastern culture and heritage. In some films , you can observe a style of combat that hasn't been seen outside of a temple in centuries . True martial arts masters are so familiar with fighting styles that they can learn a new style just by watching it. Sarnrno Hung, tutor of Jackie Chan and star of late-nineties TV series

IS renowned for his skill in picking up new styles. In this respect, the films are educational- for those m the know- as well as being entertaining.

Martial Law

ut the fighting is more than that. The style of combat attached to the characters is symbolic of their rnotivations. For example, the WuTang (usually pronounced Wu-Dong) sword style is widely regarded as the style of evil. Shaolin is an organic form developed by observing animals.

Largely, b ad guys utilise some kind of weapon and, as with Wu-Tang, they cannot fight with their own skill, being representative of the industrialised oppressors of the Shaolin monks. At the extreme level, this technological capability extends to much more malign methods, as with the widely acknowledged masterpiece Master of the Flying Guillotine (1975), which starts to bring it back to Tarantino. The hype surrounding Reservoir Dogs in 1992 meant that everyone wanted to pick his brains about his influences, and some were shocked when he espoused Flying Guillotine as one the best films ever made, automatically sparking a new mterest and recognition of martial arts cinema.

Two years after the release of Reservoir Dogs the Wu-Tang Clan released Enter the Wu - Thng. The Clan used martial arts cinema as the source for some of their names, their lyrics and their general philosophy. The relation-

B

ship between hip-hop and eastern (primarily Hong Kong) cinema gained momentum as 01' Dirty Bastard, Redman, Ghostface killah, et al. took their names from the characters in key films of the genre and incorporated the themes into their hip-hop ensembles. The main source of inspiration were the films of

The emphasis is on the fight scenes, which are long... in som e cases they c om p ris e about sixty percent of the running time.

Joseph Kuo, who was largely responsible for popularising the amazing C arter Wong in Born Invincible (though more recognise d in the we st for C arpenter's homage Big Tro uble in litUe China). Kuo's films feature some of the stronge st narrative constructions of the genre. In a ddition to containing a larg e majority of the quotes fe a ture d on Enter the Wu-Thng, many of the conventions re fere nced in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon were established by Kuo. When Tarantino set out to produce his own homage, the brilliant Kil l Bill, his extensive knowledge made it shine and at the same time thoroughly westernised the geme. The Bride is indicative of the reasons western audiences have trouble relating to the genre and, analogously, struggle with eastern philosophy. The traditional stories are irnbedded with selfsacrifice, inextricably bound with the idea of 'no-self' that is central to eastern thought. In the west , we are thoroughly obsessed with the self, it is our main export, and our economy is thoroughly dependent on it.

Western audiences found it hard to relate because the genre is based on ideas that are diminishing in our society.

'Honour' and 'Justice ' are not maj or elements of our language and, therefore, concepts of our thought. In the East, these are deeply irnbedded concerns; all the tra ditional stories a re base d around them. The reason the fight sce nes are so extrapolated is because they symbolise the struggle between good and evil; if they lasted thirty seconds it wouldn't be an accomplishment. More importantly, killing someone is a horrific act. If you're going to do it, you might as well do it with (Monkey, Snake, or Eagle ) style.

Features 09

Friends Forever?

Cinefile

no. 42

Master of the Flying Guillotine

What??!!?

o this is it, the end of a long and beautiful journey. Within the next few weeks, we will all have to bid farewell to three of our best loved American imports, Friends, Sex and the City

and Frasier. The question is how, and indeed why, the conclusion of three of America's most popular sitcoms will affect British television. My guess is that, although these shows have been syndicated to allow for countless repeats over the next few years, they will all lose something of their appeal to UK audiences fairly quickly. For me, Friends and Frasier (and very recently Sex and the City) have always bee.n most appealing as paragons of US city life, getting right under the surface of what makes America tick. Of course, this depends on these programmes remaining current and topical, something that they inevitably fail to do once production ends. This raises the question of how loyal we'll all be in five years time - will we still be watching Friends and holding it up as the archetype of the New York sitcom, or will we have forgotten all about it and moved on to something fresher and more in touch with modern society?

This last que.s tion really makes me wonder. Friends is after all on its lOth season - 10 years and 230 episodes (with another 12 still to air) later, the show has retained its popularity over the years by resolutely sticking to the same successful formula; Change Nothing. The show is still set in the same apartments and coffee shop in New York, stars the original stable of six principal characters, still features the same theme song and title sequence (with minor alterations) and is still based on the exactly the same kind of gentle self-mocking irony that won it its initial audience. Thus, it seems that over the last ten years Friends has foiUid a conside.r able fan base at the outset and stuck with it, and in return Friends fans have loyally tuned in every Friday night to see the same brand of witty, character based humour. The same is true of Sex and the City and Prasier. Having tapped into a niche audience concerned with simultaneously glamourising and mocking New York city life and the American psychiatric profession, the need for innovation dissolved and these programmes acquired (and have maintained) a status approaching television tenure. This is certainly no bad thing. On the contrary, this format has enabled the screenwriters to develop characters far more funny and sophisticated than many other long running TV series or soaps, so why are they ending now, in unison?

It seems that this collective finale is the result not only of decisions taken by the television industry, but is also reflective of shifts in American culture

and politics over the last decade. I see the death of these light-hearted, selfcontained sitcoms as a painful eulogy for the passing of a more liberal America. Since the inauguration of President George W. Bush, it feels as though his administration's jingoistic international policies and hard right views on domestic issues have been strongly instrumental in changes of direction for television. Shows such as The West Wing and 24 have arisen (at the end of Clinton's and beginning of Bush's terms respectively} to articulate these mounting national concerns. And it seems that they have been eminently successful. Websites have sprung up that are dedicated to getting President Jed Bartlett re-elected (for a fifth season/second term), or alternately to challenge the 'lies, damned lies and statistics' employed in The West Wing.

Indeed, the discourse surrounding these programmes has been integral to

in the wake of this debate.

Indeed, in a desperate attempt to salvage its own position, Will & Grace has resorted to some rather odd tactics.

It has reached its sixth season, the magical make or break number when it comes to sitcoms. Friends used this opportunity to anticipate the marriage between Chandler and Monica, whilst

Frasier spent the series reeling from the nasty side effects of 'Frasier's curse', a recurring symptom that culminates in a bout of failure after every five years of success! In the most recent episode of Will & Grace ('No Sex 'N' The

always been most appealing as paragons of US city life, getting right under the surface of what makes .America tick.

f course, sitcoms have never attained this kind of rapport with their audiences, or at least have not been outspoken about it. We have seen a shift from the light, escapist comedy of American sitcorns premiered in the early to mid 90s, to the serious heavyweight, political dramas of the new decade. I used to be perfectly satisfied with the way in which these comedies tackled important topical issues in a relaxed and liberal manner. Furthermore, I was often impressed with how their appeal was so universal, effortlessly gaining large audiences either side of the trans~tlantic divide. Now I worry for the future of such accessible and goodnatured programming. With the demise of Friends, Prasier and Sex and the City, what will be next? Will & Grace could be the next unlucky candidate. Bush's despicable conviction to outlaw gay marriage by constitutional amendment, a shameful vote-winner rather than a solid political agenda, has drawn much fire from both within the Republican party and without. Somehow, I feel as though Will & Grace will not weather the pressure it will be under to break down prevailing misconceptions of homosexual identity and relationships

0

Swordsman Annihilates the Nine Disciples of Chu School, which does exactly what it says on the tin. Flying Guiiioline has had several releases under titles such as The One-Armed Boxer 2 and The One Armed Boxer Vs. the Flying Guillotine, which were considered

more appealing to a western audience.

Summarising the plot with the title is part of an eastern tradition, so that the viewer is concerned with what is on the screen from moment to moment, not what is going to happen next. For example, it's pretty easy to suss the gist of Kill Bill.

Ok, so ap art &om an amusi.Dg title what does it have t o offer?

Friends, Sex and the City and Frasier have

their development. It is not uncommon to hear the writers of quality TV drama in the States discussing the inspiration they have received for new characters and plotlines direct from the audience, via discussion boards, letters, emails, conferences and so on.

Yes, it is a bizarre name. It's not uncommon for films of this genre to have descriptive titles. Compare, for example, a."\other of director Yu Wang's films, One-Armed

City'}, Will asks Grace for some ultimately disastrous advice about his sex life, whilst Jack and Karen struggle to come to terms with the end of their favourite television shows (no prizes for guessing which ones.) Its attempt to keep running by distancing itself from Sex and the City, a definite victim of this 'six season curse', makes me wonder whether it will continue to be the same programme in the future. It seems that in this new cautious climate of post9111 America, the safest attachment is to a programme that explicitly deals with international tensions over the course of an hour of highly stylised drama, rather than the more subtle and self-reflexive approach offered by our much beloved half-hour sitcoms.

The fact is, Prasier never solved the mother of all psychological quandaries, Carrie never found the perfect relationship and Joey et al are unlikely to ever bring themselves to breaking up. The only thing killing these sitcoms and stifling any that might replace them is a switch to high-powered topical drama, facilitated by massive shifts in America's perception of itself in the wake of recent eve.n ts. Now, it seems, the nation must export an unwavering image of brutish intellectual and military authority - watching recent US TV drama is like receiving a postcard from a large-scale military installation. It's strange to think that all of a sudden no one needs an easygoing antidote to all of this political tension, yet we are undoubtedly left without one. I can hear the blues a-callin'. I only hope somebody answers soon.

Tons. The film is about REVENGE. The mas路 ter of the flying guillotine is blind and somewhat resentful of the one-armed boxer having run around annihilating all his disciples in the prequel, despite the fact that they were pretty nasty. He vows to ldlJ. the onearmed bcner; but, being blind, he decides the best course of action is to "de.s troy all the one-armed boxers in the land", of which there are surprisingly many.

So, if h e's blind h ow d oes h e manage to kill people?

His blindness is compensated by super sensitive hearing. Yes, like Daredevil, but cooler because his aural ability is represented by uber-hairy eyebrows that twitch when he is honing in on an opponent's movements. He's one deadly mother, and the One Armed Boxer can only ldlJ. him by setting up a series of traps in a room, and letting a load of birds free to confuse him. It's a bit of a losers way out but The Master of the Flying Guillotine is an ex-government master ldller, and we all know how hard they are to nail.

And what the he ll is a n ying Guillotine?

It's essentially a serrated lampshade, on a piece of string, that can cut through anything; or, if the opponent is particularly pitiful, it lands on their head and a bit of deadly chiffon decapitates them. The other One Armed Boxers are pretty lame, so that's how they tend to go.

But apart &om seeing people getting knocke d off by a p iece of IKE.Il furniture, why else is it worth watching?

Well, there's some fantastic bits of pseudophilosophy, about the nature of learning how to ldlJ. people. Some of the fights are utterly unique, like the Indian Fakir who can stretch his limbs out up to ten feet and the oft-imitated fighting on the top of bamboo canes.

Also, the Actor/Director (sometimes credited as Jirnrny Wang Yu in the west) is so intense it raises all sorts of speculation about his arrest for murder in 1981. Overall it's a really enjoyable background film that unfortunately still remains little known despite critical acknowledgment and being relatively cheap to buy.

24.03.04

10 Features

Features 11

years, Jackson isn't exactly a bionic super hero (though, if he is, perhaps a good name would be 'The Fiddler'?). t looks like this already slightly tired looking trend is set to continue, in true dead horse-flogging yankee film-maker style, and so it's difficult not to ask yourself what could be made. Allow us to demonstrate:

I

The M an from U.N. C.L.E

length film, this usually comes soon a'ter or at the high point of the show's popularity; and often it is little more than an extended, slightly amplified version of a normal episode. It's only relatively recently that these shows have started to be exhumed from the distant past and given the full Hollywood treatment.

This poractice is now more usual. Television supplies studios not only with subject matter, but a comforting nostalgia factor that will bring in the audience. In tlti.s mould we haTe coming soon to a cinema near you in the near future: Thunder birds

he recent release of Todd Phillips' Starsky and Hutch is the latest in a long line of cult shows of old being rehashed into a friendly big screen format for the cinema goers of the 21st Century. It Follows in the footsteps of adaptations like The Fugitive, Mission: Impossible, The Adams Family, The Avengers, Zorro, The Brady Bunch, Lost in Space and Charli e's Angel~. The trend also

-i. ~¡".' •

THE

J..

SIX MILliON

DOUJR MAN

24.03.04

looks set to continue, with a number of similar projects in various stages of pre, during and post production.

It is clear that Hollywood is becoming increasingly both ideas bankrupt and risk averse. Studios are turning to gambling on the lowrollers table, using unoriginal but tried-and-tested ideas to make films for the big screen. If a film is successful they will push for, and often succeed in , making sequel or sequels; a best book will be made into a buster; classic films of yesterday are super-charged into modern remakes. A similarly unimaginative and gutless strategy is the turning of TV shows of the past into the films of the future. It seems that television, cinema's bastard son, is coming home to take care of its ever more tired and senile father.

While it's never been that uncommon for a very successful show to get a chance at being made into a feature

Rumours have abounded for years about making a movie of Gerry Andenon's television series, replacing the puppets with actors and giving it a budget large enough to avoid having to use toothpaste lids as dials and buttons. In the mid-90s it was thought that the Tracys would be played by the various members of the Baldwin family but this was never realised. Nonetheless, the project has contin1:ed and is due for a summer release. Directed by Jonathan Frakes, more usually seen as the sleazy, smug bastard Will Riker on Star Trek TNG, and starring Bill Paxton, Ben Kingsley and Anthony Edwards, the question that remains to be answered is whether

really a concept that can swvive without ingenious use of toothpaste lids. They provided much of the charm of the TV show. There's a lot to be said for resource.fulness, and even

be a visual improvement on Anderson playing with matches, will it be appreciated as much? The producers will obviously relying on the TV show's cult status for success. But this cult popularity was largely due to the very thing live-action will take away from it. It may well end up just another no-brainer action movie with little script and actors playing roles as woodenly or worse as their predecessors. That said, it is exactly the sort of thing Hollywood thrives off. This being the case we can only look forward to a host of other puppet to live-action modifications- Stingray, foe 90, Captain Scarlet and so on.

Prepare to duck and cover.

Bewitch ed

Veteran romantic-comedy stalwart Nora Ephron, writer of When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in SeatUe, You've got Mail, is to pen a movie version of Bewitched, starring Nicole

Kidman as Samantha. Jim Carrey was set to play her husband Darrin, but now Ell and Old School star Will Ferrel is rumoured to have been signed up instead. There is still a question of who will play Samantha's mother Endora.

But will this work at a time other than 10 am on Channel4, when various indolent groups - the unemployed, students, house wives - are still fuzzy with sleep and \ or alcohol from the night before? The popularity of the show in the 60s would suggest otherwise; it screened regularly in a prime-time slot.

However the 'traditional' domestic attitudes of America at the time, when men were men and women were dishcloths, may well not adapt for a multi-national movie audience of the 21st Century.

Th e A-Team An A-Team movie has been talked about since the series started and will

probably be continued until sad bas-

tards learn to let go. But it does look like the dream might finally be realised, if interne! chat rooms and message boards are to be believed.

But then again, sad bastards talk a lot of toss. Fox 2000 are alleged to be backing script writer Kevin Brodbin and the producer of the original series, Stephen J. Cannell, to make an full movie. The original cast do not look set to reprise their roles, although they may have cameos, minus the late George Peppard.

Definite names for the cast remain elusive and it's difficult to separate wishful thinking from slightly more substantial hearsay but Mel Gibson may take on the role of Hannibal Smith, Ving Rhames as B.A Baracus, Jim Carrey or Jack Black as Murdoch and Brendan Fraser or Owen Wilson as Face. Furthermore, the idea of Vietnam veterans escaping form prison will probably be updated to the Gulf War. Because they'd all like to forget, no doubt. Sorry, you lost.

The A -Team was arguably the most popular TV programme for a generation of younger 80s viewers, so it may seem like making it into a movie is long over due. But there's a risk involved in fiddling with somethi.n g regarded by many as sacrosanct. Even in the unlikely event that they make a flawless attempt, a lot of people will be annoyed if this plan comes together.

6 M illion Dollar M an

The announcement that the 70s TV show the Six Million Dollar Man is to be made into a Hollywood movie has caused some predictable upset among its fans. This is largely due to the fact that Jim Carrey is set to play the role of Col. Steve Austin, the NASA fighter pilot who is rebuilt after a horrific plane crash with bionic legs, an arm and an eye. Carrey being given the role suggests the film to be a comedy, and the recruitment of Todd Phillips as director supports this, but indignant fans are insistent that SMDM is actually a deadly serious show. Another problem set to face the big screen adaptation is that $6 million isn't as much money as it was 30 years ago. Michael Jackson has had more money spent on changing his body and unless a the job remit has drastically changed in the last 30

This show of the 1960s was regulaly repeated on BBC2 in the mid 90s, thus giving it popularity for another generation. Surely this fits Hollywood's bill of a 'good movie idea'. After all, it's effectively James Bond with two Bond's; indeed Ian Fleming was in on the embryonic discussion that leads to MFU. It has gadgets, potential for explosions, good guys in the form of United Command for Law and Enforcement with its agents Napoleon Solo and Illya

because it is the source of much mirth, its premise being so laughably dubious.

Then again, many of the films cited above are based on highly dubious crime fighting ideas. A talking car doesn't seem that out of place among a $6 million bionic man, a group of Vietnam veterans who seem to remain uncaught despite driving a very distinctive van, or, in the case of Charlie's Angels, three women who unquestioningly take the orders of a lecherous old bastard... as, if... oh no wait he buys them expensive stuff in return... that's actually very believable. The fact Knight Rider is usually slated is more likely to be because it stars David Hasselhoff, and the somewhat disquieting voice KITI', which sounds more like that of a man who entices children with sweets than dispenses valuable strategic information. Replace these two, and there might be the makings of a surprisingly entertaining film here.

But America doesn't have the

Television, cinema's bastard son, is coming home to take care of its ever more tired and senile father.

Kuryakin, gadgets, potential for explosions, bad guys, gadgets, potential for explosions... gadgets... explosions.. . gadgets. What more would a studio executive want? All that is needed is to find replacements for the still alive but somewhat long-in-the-tooth Robert Vaughn and David McCallum, and a subtle name change of U.N.C.L.E's rival organisation, THRUSH -less an evil corporation bent on World domination by terrorism and extortion, and more an itchy venereal hygiene problem that nobody semed to suffer from in the sixties. Or a bird.

Knig ht Rider

Michael Long has his face shot off but is rescued by the philanthropist billionaire car trading Knight family, who supply super-intelligent, indestructible and talking as standard automobiles.

Knight Rider is not an obvious choice to make a film out of, largely

I

ous Number 1 is.

When shown on television in the late 1960s The Prisoner was originally well received but soon lost audiences' favour because of its enigmatic content and sometimes psychedelic productions that caused it to be labelled as pretentious and indecipherable . With retrospect 'pretentious and indecipherable' have become 'deep' and 'profound' to many; The Village being thought to be representative of the political and psychological oppression of modern society.

A film of The Prisoner , if done well, would therefore provide not only an interesting premise but a narrative that may be both exciting and multi-layered.

Plus it would get over the problem that, though based on an interesting original idea, the television programme never went anywhere. The p lot questions it posed were never answered. Although, the huge balloons or 'Rovers' that guarded the prisons would need to be replaced with something slightly more daunting- what exactly was so demanding about being chased by a bouncy castle crossed with a silicon implant f course, there are some films that just shouldn't be made; but maybe will, given the depths to which we must always assume Hollywpod is prepared to sink. Polish your eyeballs and gawp at these:

0

'Coun td own- Th e Movie'

Countdown has entered its third decade on Channel 4. Surely this track

record could cause it to be earmarked for big screen adaptation? Imagine Harvey Kietel as Richard Whitely and Jeff Goldblum as Carol Voderman. Of course, they could only spin the game shows concept out into a plot to a certain extent. Perhaps they could jazz it up with a terrorist p lot involving that huge clock as a timing device, or... the love triangle between Voderman, Whitley and a member of dictionary corner, or one boy's heart rending struggle against dyslexia: cue Chariots of Fire soundtrack and slow-motion shots as our hero struggles with the conundrum.

'Wide-Awake Club- The Movie'

Kevin Spacey is Timmy Mallet.

Hollywood's sensational biopic follows Mallet's personal history from the halcyon days of the show's start to his struggle with addiction, when his TV antics unintentionally leave him crippled by a dependence on hitting kids. Soon a foam mallet no longer suffices; he switches to a claw hammer. A psychological crime thriller in which Mallet is pursued by cops Stephen Baldwin and Gabriel Byrne, reunited with Spacey for the first time since The Usual Suspects.

'Th e Goodli/e- the Movie' In there first film together since

their divorce, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman star as Tom and Barbara Good, whose successful attempt at self-sufficiency leads Tom and Nicole to set their sights on solving World Hunger by applying the new 'Surbiton economic model' to Africa in its entirity. Oscars all round.

Come and dine at the

monopoly on cult-retro television, British TV shows are also fair game for Hollywood to mould into its bigger and 'better' popcorn format. Remember The Avengers film of 1998 - No? Well that's probably just as well, but it starred Sean Connery, Ralph Fiennes as Steed and Uma Thurman as Emma Peel; or, slightly better, The Saint in 1997 with Val Kilmer taking on Roger Moore's role of Simon Templar.

But what about television programmes like...

The Prisoner

In which spy Patrick McGoohan retires and is quickly abducted, only to wake up as an inmate in a prison compound known as The Village. Stripped of his freedom and his name, McGoohan, now known only as Number 6, spends his time trying to escape, yelling "I'm not a number, I'm a free man" and trying find .who the mysteri-

All

lng- dim sum serveifi ally

Recieve a 1096 discount off all food 22 Prince of Wales Road Norwich

11

TEL: (01603) 626391

..., ;; .._

Open seven days a week 12 noon to 12 midnight Parties and Take-Away Service available

ti~1~ ~V.~'-'

on production of student ID* ~t ili ~

~~0

CHINESE RESTAURANT :

12 Singles

Live Reviews Senses fail: not your average emo band, offering poetic lyrics and keen bass lines, their live sound is one to be equalled to LCR Cave s Funeral for a Friend and Lost Prophets. Frontman Buddy commands the stage with an everincreasing talent for microphone twirling. This is definitely not the last we have seen of these New Jersey tattooed teenagers. If anything, their performance is a return to form for emo/ punlc/rock /hardcore, and the youthful band let their inexperience and innocence come to life on stage with their live show illustrating their love for music but, more importantly, their unegotisticallove for their own music. As Dave Miller, the guitarist put it "we make music that we want to hear". With the response from the fans, a lot more people are going to be screaming this bands name, not least me!

Biffy Cliro: not bad considering Charlie from Busted is their biggest fan. After the buzz from the previous act I was impressed to see that the promoters hadn't gone emo crazy on the line up, instead allowing the Scottish indie quartet to rouse the Norwich audience. Their performance was convincing although in places lacking the stagemanship illustrated by Senses Fail; indeed many of the 12yr olds were convening at the back of the hall to praise their newly discovered rock gods, rather than partake in appreciating the progressive sound on age. In summary a performance alrin to The Rapture on acid in sound.

Hurtdted Reasons: never fail to impress, but lets face it we've heard it all before, to be fair, didn't really pay too much attention as too busy getting the CKY beating story from Dave, Mike and Buddy from Senses Fail !!

(See CKY interview on page 6 for more violence related gossip)

Y1lt I Don't Know Bulgari a/Bi zarro/ B aader M einhof Aimed with, arguably, the first triple A-side ever released in the entire history of popular culture as a debut single, these bright new stars of Norwich Krautrock step boldly into previously unchartered and definitely un-cbartable territory.

Hailing from a land inhabited by goblins, p ixies, unicorns and elves, I Don't Know are a band of (up to 40 on a good day) sonic nomads who have led their camel train to the sunbleached dunes of Norwich, unpacked their hookahs and kicked out the jams .. .yo.

Bulgaria is a slow burning of rumbling low end and stern Eastern European reprimands from didgereedooist, trianglist and bongo player Ben, intermingled with a guitar line that sounds like lasers shooting into space. Bizarro takes the form of a disco work out with a riff the size of Texas and Liars style blips and beeps. Baader Meinhof is a refreshing reworking of the Cabaret Voltaire original, minus the tapes of the Stannheim trials but augmented by the shrieking of German

slogans about finding the way to the train station, whilst still sounding brooding, sparse and quite evil... hurrah! B-side Spliff Jam rocks ass in a jazz style which is pretty sweet.

Utterly flawless as a debut I say... raise your flagons of mead to the new wunderkinder of Progl

Mbn)' About lite WIIICI'- a 80UDCltnlalr ~ a-.. ft •'IM bit iD . . . . . . Alal . . . . . . . . imp)au.iblr ........... ....,.. willed but wlnerable IOIDIUltic lead . - . . moumfally a1 m. zellection in lbe lllinow, lilently contemplating the girl he onc::e loftd.. Cut to a llimil&dJ hanlbome female .tanng equally moamfally oat of a rain-soalaed winclowr, and cue the o])8JiiD9 chcmla of the nK:ODciliation ballad. -I'll be there wa~ring on .J"'U ~ I I 'D be there rvislaing, hoping and praying" sin9' an impouibly familiar voice, and tbe audience can finally expect a happy ending.

Eftry inch of Worry... , from the anuaual time change that ~ lib a skip in tbe zecord to Dne ADen's gozgeoualy emotive wcala, 10unds u if it hu been uoad fOIW'Mr. la r.ct. tl8l i8 the debat .m.pe from a Dahlia four-piece wboM piWiioaa eqlerieuce of wnling for big-badpt HoDywood aouadlraob uteDds to ... nou at an. Tbe cJo...a they bae got (.o far) ia IAIPporting Stanailor in Ireland and a turn OD tbe liME awuda tour both of which bode pzeltJ weD for the Hal'a combination of Mld-American coaatry anctl!llloft Smithstyle folk occuionaDy strays to the wrcmg *le of sec:claariDe. bat ita mniatible, Jilting melody lhreateu to mab lllbn7 About the Wmd 101Mihiag truly IJ*:ial. .b a little bit of C'inemallc anelodn.ma for a cold spnng momiag, tru. ia one migiiJilJ imp..m. debut.

wen.

ru...

The

White

Strip es

Ush er - Yeah

There's N o H ome For You Her e Jack White is guilty of assault. I took a battering whilst listening to their new single. It took me by surprise. Jack came out of nowhere with a smack to left cheek. A blow so hard I almost lost consciousness.

He screamed "there's no home for you here" at me! I was fazed, shocked and not in Detroit. Out came the second smack. A mind-blowing, black-eye inducing "/ fought piranhas". I stayed on the floor quivering while his slide guitar did the talking. Staggering for air, Jack then spat in my face "lets build a home"! Mr White has nearly killed me. My lawyer has been called. Can anything stop this man!?

}arnes Banlcs

Won 't

Beyonce: Versatile

Beyon d - N aughty Girl Beyonce takes a bit of a risk with her new single, Naughty Girl, sampling 70's disco music icon Donna Summer's Love 7b Love You Baby, but with one of the most creative and versatile voices in R&B today she certainly pulls it off. The track is unique in sound and intensity, with a catchy rhythm that demands attention. Definitely worthy of a number one place in the charts this week, this sexy song is perfect listening as you get ready to go out, and will undoubtedly be very popular in clubs since its not bad for dancing to either.

Caroline Beer

Glen Thraagus

The O ffspring- (Can't Get M y) Head Aro und You The dilemma - to judge this single on its own merits or to compare it with the rest of The Offspring's output? It's a fairly inoffensive punky number that plays it safe on all counts, squeezing out a fair amount of energy while remaining firmly within the boundaries of 'radio-friendly.' But when placed into the context of such gems as SeU Esteem, The Kids Aren't Alright and Gotta Get Away it's just woefully inadequate, and only se rves to remind us how good The Offspring used to be.

Disappointingly average.

24.03.04

B en Patasluaik

The White Stripes: Battered

Jessica Simpson - In This Skin As an avid fan of Newlyweds I have slowly learnt to love Jessica's ditsy American ways and so wanted to be able to give her a great review. To some extent the track is not that bad, she does have a lot of vocal talent that puts Britney and Christina to shame, but this is totally wasted on a terrible 90's dance beat while trying to incorporate ballad s tyle lyrics.

My advice to Jessica would be stick to what you know best: looking pretty while doing the God-fearing lovey ballads that you're used to.

The Zuton s - You Wi ll You

Basem e nt Jaxx feat. JC Chasez - Pl ug It In

Finally! Usher is back after his break from the music scene with his brand ne w single, Yeah, and dance moves to rival Justin Timberlake. His single is the newest in the flourishing line of songs of the "pulling in clubs" genre like Nelly's Hot in Herre. With a funky tune and the typical Ludacris style rap which breaks up the song, the single is certainly one that's good for dancing to, but Usher's smooth vocals are somehow lost in the Cast paced tune. Nevertheless this is definitely one tipped for success with Usher back to reclaim his place at the top.

The new NME darlings are off to tour everywhere... but Norwich! But never despair because a new single has been plucked from the air. Like a crazy soap commercial I've been left feeling dirty. .. dirty all over. Nothing seems to wash this song out of my brain. That's not a bad thing, except the chorus will haunt you for the next week at least. If only it did have 113 moisturising cream, more people would buy it - but like the brand to the left this one is far superior. It'll make you feel good for a while, but the smell will never leave you.

Caroline B eer

} ames Banlcs

P a ddy C asey - Th e Luclcy One

Usher. S m ooth

The Bees - Wash in the Rain

If Basement Jaxx are pretty much the only big dance act to emerge unscathed from the genre's decline, it's undoubtedly due to their instinct for a great pop tune and the urge to innovate. This starts off with a squelching electronic riff, playing off against JC Chasez's falsetto vocals, and gets faster and faster until the chorus when it turns into a fully fledged monster, Chasez yelping "plug it in, baby" like he's about to burst. JC's charisma helps, but it's definitively a Jaxx single , from the familiar electronic sound to the "Ho hos" in the background, while still sounding like nothing else around.

Just as every teenager must go through a Smiths phase, locking themselves in a darkened room to the sound of one man whinging, it seems that every band must have at least one try at being The Beatles. For The Bees, this time is now, in the gap between the release of their Mercury-nominated debut and its hotly anticipated follow-up. Unfortunately, Wash in the Rain is less their Penny Lane as their Ob-La-Di Ob-LaDa. It may be rinky dinky guitar pop of the finest mumfriendly order, but this loveable bunch of eccentrics can do so much better than just a hummable tune. Less Lennon, more lunacy, please.

Rob Lavine

Sarah Edwardes

Ex-buskers rarely make good pop stars. Remember the singer in John Squire's travesty of a band, The Seahorses? No, of course not. Maybe Paddy Casey, former street musician and singer-songwriter in the most traditional sense, will have more success. This single, the first from his second album, is bursting with optimism and downbeat charm, all wrapped up in a blanket of soft strings. Casey's effortless vocals radiate warmth, and although this is not quite nondescript enough to rival David Gray, it should be sufficient to see Casey duplicate his devoted Irish following over here. He is The Lucky One, after all.

Sarah Edwardes

Amy Hewitt Paddy Casey: Lucky

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .- - Album 13

Desp1te thorough research (10 minutes on the interned), information about Los Paranoias remains elusive, except for the fact that they're compriSed of two blokes,james Brackpool and Edric Brown who may or may not be based in Brighton and that the album was rruxed at 'The Palace of Darkness'. So, I suppose the music is going to have to speak for itself. Sadly this reveals few inslghts 110 Mr. Blackpool and Mr. Brown, except that 'eclectic' does not seem to be a strong enough word to describe their range of influences.

The album opens with the stomping glam rock intro of KlBIIg Und Schonhe1t, which slowly evolves mto a slice of blissed-out Balearic come down that Groove Armada would be happy With, before reprising the earlier glarn riff. Queens B (the next single) is even better. Post-rock guitar noodlings give way to a big beat take on rockabilly before dark, vamping drum 'n brass basslines snck up the tune, which is eventually brought to a conclusion with a synthesis of all three styles.

Lies, Lies, lies fuses playful beats and whistling old- school synth to create a sound of claustrophobic disco. This atmosphere is intensified by a strange game-show host style voice whispering even stranger proverbs.

The flid who wrote South's press release uses naff-as-fuck superlatives like ''ubercool", "sprawlingly, "Josh Hornrne", "sophisticated", "immeasurable" and "exponentially''. NOW' I don't knOW' what half these words mean and I certainly don't know if they'Ie :really superlatives or not but I read the whole thing and got the gist that the aforementioned thought it was really good. But then again, thinking things are really good is the job of people who write press releases.

This album could be sublime beyond belief but is flawed by the lead singer's insistence on sounding like a posh geordie, Sting and some really shit sounding obscure instrument (e.g. bassoons and bottles filled with different levels of water) breaks. It's best bits are the strings that make me think of driving a big sports car though the Swiss Alps in the 1970s. Mmmmrnrn... big sunglasses.

Despite the presence of the singer's annoying voice, the tunes are all pretty lovely. especially Silver Sun and F'lagile Day. These songs could sprawl on for weeks, weaving their dreamily poptastic soundscapes but these sublime fields of sound are intenupted by harpsichords (always touch and go in pop but terrifying in Camille Saint Saens' Danse Macabre and quite good in the majority of Baroque music), banjos (no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no) and that bloody quasigeoldi.e. Shame. Most of the music is goxgeous.

Rldlie "Ca.sino" ]ones

Albuquerque four-piece the Shins briefly surfaced in 2001 when they released acclaimed debut Oh, Inverted World and soundtracked a McDonalds ad. Listening to their second album however, you'll happily forgive them such coxporate flirtations.

Chutes 7bo Narrow first knocks you out in a blur of lo-li guitars, joyous handclaps and cheap Casios, then it drags you to your feet and fon:::es you to dance, goddamrnit. But that's not to say this is meaningless candy-floss pop: there's plenty of heartbreak to be found here as well "J found a fatal flaw in the logic of love", sings Jarnes Mercer on the delicate Gone for Good - these are warm and witty tales of car-crash romances and lleeting encounters.

The Shins understand there's beauty in keeping it simple. None of these three minute pop gems outstay their welcome; where Brian Wilson melodies meet Chicago indie and so much more besides. At each turn there's something to put a smile on your face; witness the Kinks-esque Turn a Square with its tale of youthful desire ("just a glimpse of an ankle and I reac:t like its 1805"). This is one for fans of Beulah or the GoBetweens then. Or indeed for anyone who can look beyond the retro !-shirts and asymmetric haircuts which seem to pass for talent in certain sections of today's music press.

This is immediately contrasted by the airy acoustic guitar lead Reach Around which has all the child-like fun of Lemon Jelly and the dreamy, pyschadelic sW!tlings of If I Squint They Look Like Stars.

The second half of the album is slower, more introspecnve, and compared to the creativity and anarchic attitude of the first half is a little bit of an anti-climax. The Missing Note is an obvious attempt at a dance floor filler, complete with kettle drums and salsa style. 7b Know Then What We Know Now IS a wistful string led track that doesn't seem to go anywhere. Still, they close the album well with The Part Of Me That Wants My Firends 7b Fail and Life Like A Film, the former an intense, building, menacing tune which would track any scene in a film about to culrninate in violence perfectly. The closing track, with its lush orchestration, has an atmosphere of quiet resolution.

In short this is a fine album, and there are more ideas in every one of these tracks than most can come up with in three albums.

]edi

Pretty much a greatest hits album from Finnish rock gods HIM. and yet another

If music is a school playground, then The Wildhearts are the six-foot-six, burly fif-

reason for all us fans to get a bit pissed off at the world, remember no one loves us, and, in the case of lead singer VID.e, that our dad would rather sell dildos than spend time with us. More importantly we've also been given the chance to listen to our fave songs all on one album.

But it's the free dvd that will get you creaming your pants. The live concert means that you can rockout without the worry of knocking a 12yr old yokel flat on their ass.

Unfortunately. boasting only a few new tracks, one 'exclusively' to the UK, this album does little more to further their sound It's the cover of the 90's housewife classic Wicked Game that has us pexplexed, another attempt forV!lle to bitch about love and wanton feelings, yet the bizarreness of this choice rings through. It's all too conviru:ing, begging the question; ironic jibe or dedication to the Chris Isaak appreciation society?

Overall not bad for a boy brought up in a sex shop, a brilliant BIIIIlitlaiY for all those too cool but too poor to buy the :-revious four releases. Avid fans, you've heaJd it all before but hey, it'll add to your collection and provide excellent perving material; you know you want to!

teen-year old without many friends except those that are sufficiently unconcerned with 'cool' to risk aligning themselves with such a socially suicidal individual, as externally imposing and downright terrifying he might first appear.

Even though Coupled With is a BSides and rarities albwn, it is as good an example as any of their abilities in combining dirty riffs that could slay a horse with the foot-dawn-let's-go pace of an out of control joyrider and some genuinely gorgeous vocal harmonies.

6.30 Onwards is a prime slab of rock 'n' roll rifling, evoking at once the glarn stomp of Jane's Addiction and Motorhead's filthy heaviness, while The People That Life Fbrgot is a ruthlessly hurnrnable pop song that manages to sound both sleazy and family-friendly.

The reworking of the Cheers theme is perfectly placed to raise a smile and an approving pint, and only the spiritually and mentally dead would refrain from daru::ing to the fantastically groove-laden Ill Decide.

Coupled With is unashamed British rock music at it's most potent and if you don't own anything by Ginger's troupe of marauders then this is a perfect entrylevel pwchase.

HIM.. VWe Valo: for the ladies

Ber'n'Me Ben Pataslmllc

Monday to Satutday:

A cliche, I know, but Chutes 7bo Narrow is ray of SlliiShine on a miserable day. The ice cream man appeamd at UEA a couple of weeks ago amid grey skies and near-Aictic temperatures maybe he's been listening to the Shins as

weD ...

AndySymes

9•m-5pm

Cartridge World I 19 Untll..-k Road, llorwl<h, Norfolk IIRl ZI'E Elnâ&#x20AC;˘l: <WnOI'NIC~O<artrldlfY'OIIci.otl

~~---~--------~-------------OFF the cost of your next ink reflU at Cartridge World Norwich

24.03.04

14 ilm issue. In any easeL this is being written

the ugliest languages to have ever existed. The acting is

The Event 's own cadre - of legal

of an incredibly high standaxd , though it slarts with an

-watching intently.

Qarnes Cavtezel, coincidentally e nough) who 1s consis-

group of bad guys, at least in historical nar-

tently strong and handles his performanc e masterfully.

ratives, has its group of disse nters . This is

Afte r all, it really can't be easy playing the physical pres-

not always true of films about the events of

ence of an almighty metaphysical being. That eXlSts .

the Second World War. And there have

The use of flashbacks throughou t the narrative

be en enoug h of them to ke ep the German

prove s a powerful way of handhng the key moments of

people's tails thoroughly between their

the Chr is! story, having Jesus invent the modern dining

legs for a good few centuries to come. The

table dunng his carpenter days

Passion of the Christ acknowledges the

stretches 1t a bit far. The only unapproachable aspect is the lack of nanung the characters, which 15 easily put down to the mdoctnnanon mos t Americans are subject to

and the Roman tornue ts so hornfic and extended and

men, no donkey and no "no room at the inn" .

qyaphic, that it's hard to see how anyone comes out of H

m

the

mesmensmg

Gardens

of

favourably. The only sllghtly worry1.ng b1t is the wrath o f

Gethsemane where Jesus has to fend off the pe rsuasions

God, which seems to be rather directed against said peo-

of Satan (a thoroughly smister performance from

pies.

Rosalinda Celentano) and reconcile his fate, It then traces

However, tlus 1s written m full acknowledgement of

his arrest by the Pharisees: the (reluctant) condemning

two thousand years worth of history, confuct and very,

by Pontius Pilot; and the subsequent purushments meted

very sadderung losses; and H can be the ITUnuUae of an

out by the all too willing Roman cadre. The conclusion 1s

issue that causes the most offence. Also, The Event has no

mevttable , but does 1t make 1t worth a watch?

one on staff that can speakAramruc, so 1fthe controversial

First, the JeWish que stion has to be addressed . Most are reluctant to mention the J word, but there's been so

So, moving sWiftly on; the languages are a great boon. Latin and Aramaic are gentle on the ear, and spoke

practices - about as staunch as

with such talent thatltleaves a k:t.nd of empty feeling out-

Catholicism can ge t -are so btzarre they add impetus to

side the auduorium when all you hear and speak 1s one of

gent Cody Banks 2: Destination London is a cheap-looking, unimag native, horribly cast sequel to the charming original . Losin g Angie Harm on and Hilary Duff as supporting talent is only part of the problem, but replacing them with the unbearable Anthony Anderson was a mistake tha t sinks Destination Lon don with all the force of a Kraken a ttack.

treat is gone.

Everything.

Including, most cons p i c u o usly, female eo-stars Harmon and tween superstar Duff.

Their replacement?

AJ

After botchinMuniz) g a manhunt, a g e nt C ody Banks (Frankie is being sent to London to help thwart a madman (Keith Alien) from taking over the world with a mind control device. Posing as an elite clarinet player in a band made up of the world 's finest teenage musicians, Banks piques the int erest of a curious flute player named Emily (Hannah Spearritt), and is aided by fellow agent , Derek (the excrucia ting Anderson) , as he hunts for clues around London.

This time last year, Agent Cody Banks was a sly little tweenie diversion. It played up the james Bond fr. angle nicely and efficiently, as well being a generally lively and enjoyable adventure. Exactly one year later, the quickie sequel Destination London arrives in theatres and everything that made the original such an unexpected

~~;~~i~~~~~~ Laugh-terminator Anderson (Kangaroo jack, My Baby's Daddy, See Spot Run) who brings his bottornless bag of "Compton" comedy with him. Who wins in that swap? Anderson's agent , because the audience certainly d oesn't get any laughs out of the transaction .

Destination London is a hastily and poorly written adventure that steals spy ac tion se t pieces from other films and has zero idea wha t passes for comedy. Can't find a joke ? Let Anderson improvise endlessly until something resembling a punch line happens. Want to please the American audience? Stereotype the crap out of all the European characte rs , and throw in an extended fart and urine s e quence just to

u look at the cast for this , and ou think "you know, this looks pretty good" . Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson , the comedy dream duo from such greats as Zoolander, Meet The Parents and Th e Roya l Tenenbaums, are usually a good sign, you 're not going to get anything particularly d eep, but they 're nearly always entertaining. Supporting players are Vince Vaughn and Will Ferrel, again funny guys from funny movies (think Swingers) . And, to be fair, Starsky & Hutch is not that bad; but the LL..._ _...r::..._.....-.-ll takes ages for anything to happen, the diaproverbial sinking feeling sets in about logue is not strong enough or funny two thirds in when you realise things really aren 't going to pick up. The whole thing enough to maintain audience interest, and the whole thing seems oddly muted. It 's as reeks of missed op portunity.

If blame must be dealt out, then direcif Philips can't decide whether he wants to go for all out comedy or more serious cop tor Todd Philips is going to bear the brunt drama, and the end result is a limp mix of of it. His previous two hits Road Trip and Old School were fun enough, provided you the two. This is a 70's cop spoof, so it 's fair find frat b oys acting like frat boys funny, to expect a killer soundtrack (like a film b ut something has gone wrong here. The such as Boogie Nights) and plenty of main p layers cannot be faulte d , and they tongue in cheek action. Alss, there are d elive r s p ot on comic performances, some damn fine set pieces, such as Starsky Stiller 's Starsky b e ing a perfect uptight, g etting coked out o f his h ead , a hilarious re ndition of Don 't Give Up on Us Baby from by-the-book foil to Wilson 's d azed, cool as ice, e thically dubious Hutch. The re al probOwe n Wilson; a threeway involving C arme n Elec tr a and Amy Smart; a dea d le m lie s in the p acing of the movie - it

24.03.04

Overall there 's stwuung Vlsuals, lt never gels bor-

mg, and a 's definitely well worth a watch.

.--------r

pluase 1s m there, but not subtitled, then we have no way

ly deserves atte ntion. Especially as the descripuons of rellg~ous

from pre-school age.

of knowmg.

much controversy surrounding lt m the States that it realGlbson's own

typically Glbson and

presence of nonconfonrusts amongst the

lus is not th . e average nativity. There are no wise

Startmg

JS

Pharisees. It does not come accross expllci.i--..._""-'-----~ itly as a clear-cut case of assigrung blame;

T

aura of incredulity on all accounts apart from good old JC

Every story has its bad guys. Eve ry

'----------'

make sure the lowest common denominator is satisfied. Destination London is a family film , so it can get away with a certain level of stupidity, but the origin al took great pride in being, ya know, just a little bit of fun. This sequel is a drag from start to finish; clearly the hurried end product of MGM wanting to s trike while the iron was lukewarm (the original s talle d at 47 million at the box office) on this kiddie franchise .

And even in crazy-fantasy-Hollywoodsuspend-disbelief-land, why in the heck would the clearly id entifiable b a d g uy hunt down Banks through the busy commuter streets of Lond on with a rocket launcher?

Outside of the obvious explanation that things going boom help distract from the absence of screenwriting, wouldn't a gun and a silencer do the trick a little better?

But that's what you g e t for attempting to analyse a Frankie Muniz movie.

If they decide to go ahead with another Cody Banks adventure , we can only hope the producers take the ir time before rushing into another nonsensical story with appa lling suppor ting talent. Clearly, churning out a seque l in less than a year 's time doesn 't do the a udie nce any favours.

Dan Ch andler

pony, and the repe ated use of the phrase "Do it." And Will Ferrel almost steals the show with his character's bizarre homoerotic dragon fetish that ha s to be seen to be believed.

These highlights definitely make this wor th a watch, but the flaws cannot be ignored, and by the time the original Starsky & Hutch (Paul Michae l Glaser and David Soul) turn up for the obligatory cameos you realise that Philips has really blown it. It doesn't make any sense for a star t, and you might find yourself cringing as the film implies that some sort of scared tradition is being passed down through the generations . It 's Starsky and Hutch for pity's sake!

An average 70's cop show; nothing more and nothing less. You get the feeling that Ben Stiller himself could have mad e a much better job as director - one need only look at Zoolander to realise that he can do fast comic pacing wi th ease, something that would have benefited Starsky & Hutch immensely. With Tod d Philips ' ne xt movie a remake of the Six Million Dollar Man, we can only assume he thinks he 's found his niche; h e is, however, still ye t to carve it .

Gary Budden

16 DVD/VHS

magine trying to write about a film that occupies a very specific place in the annals of film history. Imagine trying to say something new about a film that was so monumentally unique at the time of its creation that it's been examined, criticised, and written about, virtually since the day of its release.

Maybe you can. Maybe it's not regurgitation to talk about the fact that the film is so crushingly tense that an alien doesn't even appear for the first forty-five minutes. Maybe talking about the fact that is a landmark feminist piece; Ripley is the first independent

I

woman of film and the attempt to murd er her by forcing a porn mag down her throat is representative of m ale objectification and dominance. Maybe it's not too much to again ask: how different are we from the Alien? Don't we , too, seek to exploit life in all it's forms for our own betterment? Isn't humanity less honest about this motivation; so much so that it takes a synthetically created being to " ... admire it's purity."?

Then again, this new release of Alien doesn't really change the issue (s). In fact , the most the extra six minutes does for the film is put more impetus behind Ripley's motivation to rescue Newt in Aliens. In his introduction to the film , Ridley Scott says that the impact of a film inevitably lessens over time , and the decision to rerelease with these added scenes was nothing more than his desire to keep the film consistently interesting.

Well ... maybe.

Maybe it's cynical to conde mn it as mere money spinning. It's a two-disc special e dition, s o it has enough fe atures to lock yourself in a darke ned bedroom for a couple of days; where no one can hear you scream. There 's featurettes, production galleries, deleted scenes (since included on the special edition) and just about everything else you could possibly want to be inseminated by. As with the initial release, the theatrical version has a commentary that, in true Scott style, tells you everything about the technicalities and nothing of the content. It's a shame that there is little detail about Giger's input; like, how it came about , and who the hell he is.

Alien will never cease to be a necessity in any (self-respecting) film collection, it's potency has not dimin-

ished, and the atmosphere is still e ntirely distinctive. If you 're not interested in the Quadrilogy box set, yet you still like this film , then maybe this is a good compromise. The disc has the option to watch the original release, or the special edition, which is a tactic that the initial release of Apocalypse Now would have done well to adopt. Both formats are incredibly clean, and have evidently benefited from some digital attention. You can be sure that this is stated with the authority of someone who compared it to the initial DVD release , so you don't have to be that sad.

Philip Sainty For the chance to win a copy of Alien Special Edition, see Blaggery corner [nook) on page 2.

/

her really isn't the most origial film in the world. But, maybe at's why- for a while, at leastits familiar enough to be workable. It's one of them future dystopia things , showing us a world run by shadowy, mysterious corporations while at the same time, you know, giving us some philosophy to think about. Sort of. Of course, this has all been done before and better - in such films as Blade Runner, Brazil and Dark City. This is Vincenzo Natali's attempt at Orwellian sci-fi, and it is only partially successful.

To wit, a lowdown: Morgan Sullivan Oeremy Northam) is a deeply bored, dissatisfied chap who finds himself working as a spy for the shadowy, mysterious Digicorp corporation. He is given a new identity, one which he can fashion to his heart's desire. However, soon Sullivan starts getting in over his

Q

2 4.03.04

head, and is involved in a shadowy, mysterious corporation rivalry where, surprisingly enough, things may not be as they seem.

Northam's central performance is immense, and he displays a diversity and depth that he has never really shown before. Also, he gets to stick it to Lucy Lui, so much respect is due. Lui is shockingly underused, and seems only there because the writer, Brian King, thinks he should have some kind of femme fatale to fulfill genre specifications . She hasn't got much to do other than stand around and look quite fit, but her talent is wasted in an underwritten role . Other characters drift in and out, but they are there solely to keep the plot moving. If these roles were fleshed out, the film would probably be a lot more engaging. However, even Northam's obvious skill cannot hold an entire film together.

To be fair, Natali makes a damn good stab at the genre. He doesn't introduce anything new, but his grip on visual dynamics is impressive. This is noticeable in the sections where the colours are almost entirely bleached

out to reflect a complacent, lifeless populace being unwittingly bled dry by a totalitarian state. Unfortunately, Cypher sets up a challenge for itself it does not seem capable of completing.

The film skims the top of generic (yet still fascinating) ideas of power, memory and identity, but it apparently lacks the edge needed in order to develop them.

This wouldn't be nearly so annoying if it weren't for the last quarter of the film, which completely marginalises these ideas in favour of going all bit Mission: Impossible on us .

Bollocks to that. The current theory is that the crew were all killed during post-production by some particularly technically skilled monkeys who decided it would be a good idea to tack on a shite ending. These savage primates ditch the rich, carefully crafted atmosphere created by now-deceased Natali for a deeply under whelming finale. These beasts are still at large, ruining potentially good films in order to pander to idiots. They must be stopped. And I think I'm the one to stop them.

Paul Case

Arts 17

Theatre Review How I learnt to Drive aula Vogel's play "How I Learned to Drive" is a compla American quilt of broken families, paedophilia, longing and intricacy.

Nanated by the protagonist Li'l Bit, it tells the story of a woman who is relaying tales of her childhood and her relationship with her Uncle Peck and the journey through adolescence. It overlaps often complicated motifs of memory, voice-avers of interior monologue and shifts in time. To read the piece is to be confused and overwhelmed. To see it performed in the Drama Studio last week, however, was to be amazed.

The production, skilfully crafted and visualised by director Jordana Zeldin, was not only extremely creative and original in its staging and direction but also naturalistic and wellrealised in its acting. Zeldin's employment of detailed yet not overcomplicated props, a back projection sheet and the cast and living spaces surrounding the stage, reflected well the sensation of being trapped by life at all angles.

The cast consistently delivered a true sense of character. The lead role of Li'l Bit, played

P

Favourite Book Sabrie/ abriel by Australian author Garth Nix is part of the youth fantasy literature collection that has crossed over to adult sections of bookshops and libraries, along with the likes of Philip Pullman. Parallels can easily be drawn between the two - Nix has written a trilogy not unlike Pullman's, of which Sabriel is the first part.

Nix's eponymous heroine lives in a world like ours - she goes to a ladies college in Ancelstierre and enjoys the usual classes such as English and Maths- along with spell casting and other magic-related subjects. Thanldully, this is where the similarities between Sabriel and a certain other wizard ends- Nix's writing is far darker than Rawlinq's will ever be.

The basic plot is fairly simple - that Sabriel's father, loftily entitled The Abhorsen, goes missing and she has to find him. The only trouble is that he lives in the Old Kingdom, where Free Magic reigns and the dead walk freely if her father isn't around to sort them out. It gets a bit more complicated when Nix introduces terms such as 'Abhorsen'- the title for a necromancer

S

Comedy Review Brendon Burns osted all over the venue this evening are signs saying 'Attention- tonight's performance includes swearing and material some people may find offensive.' They weren't kidding. "Puck Madame Tussaudl Dig her up and fuck her dust!!" he yells at one point, at the climax of a rant against waxwork museums. This show ain't for the faint-hearted. Burns is a tall, shaven-haired Aussie, looking much like the convict he frequently refers to himself as, and he's in a bad mood. The pre-show publicity includes review excerpts where he 's compared to comics like Sam Kinison and Bill Hicks, and it's probably the latter he's closest to, able to switch from highbrow routines on western politics to an impression of a pop idol contestant performing with his pants down, holding his dick, screaming 'Mommy!' as horrified viewers watch. The crucial difference is that while Hicks and many of the irreverent American comics Burns has been influenced by, consciously set out to build an aura around themselves, he makes sure that never happens, constantly referring to himself as being full of shit and willing to sell out the first time Fosters offers him an advertising deal.

When the earnest part of the audience applauds

P

superbly by Jessica Pidsley, was convincing and gracefully awkward and a compliment to the sinister yet serene and almost likeable character of Uncle Peck (Tom Green). Taking into account the good foundations ofVogel's text, the relationship between them was never once 'acted out'. As before, Zeldin's manipulation of space was interestingly and effectively interpreted but it was the cast who truly made the play. The "Greek Chorus" of Brian Sylvester, Nika Obydzinslci and Kate Kreke was engaging, embracing, and stood on its own as a fundamental part of the play, avoiding the temptation to use them to fill in gaps. Sylvester's comic yet well measured performance is a perfect accompaniment to Obydzinslci's gentle power and Kreke's elegant subtlety. At times the piece felt a little unbalanced in terms of the aaggeration of comedy and more upsetting moments but such an appealing cast resolved it.

The wealth and variety of drama productions in recent months has been outstanding and it therefore becomes easy to group them together as an acellent year for the Society and Studio.

This production of "Haw I Learnt to Drive", however, should be set apart for its ingenuity, recognition of new talent and fluidity. "Haw I Learnt to Put On a Play."

Sopbie Nelson

(someone who raises the dead) returning the dead to their rightful place or Charter Magic, which involves all sorts of complex symbols and signs. However, this is Nix's strong point in that he is able to write about these without ever slowing the nanative dawn or even explaining them simply. It's the mark of a good writer that the reader never feels bewildered by jargon and yet can be introduced to an authorial concept without problem.

Although Sabriel is basically a children's story, like many novels it can be read on many levels, or merely read to appreciate the craftsmanship which has gone into all three books.

Nix has created a world where there is conflict between everyone - few of the characters are unambiguously good or bad, which is most appealing as it means that the whole premise becomes more believable. The character of Mogget is fantastically crafted - an assistant to Sabriel on her quest but in the form of a small white cat with aspirations of world domination think Salem from "Sabrina, the Teenage Witch", but far more powerful, and much nastier. lfyou enjoy slightly fantastical novels such as Diana Wynne }ones or the aforementioned Philip Pullman, then read the whole Old Kingdom trilogy because they're brilliant fun and provide a good break from heavy textbooks.

SIUanne Rodger

an anti-Bush statement he responds 'Yeah? Wait 'tillater on when I do my disabled stuff, I bet you won't be clapping then.'

But his disabled stuff is really good. Much like South Park, Bums is less funny when he's trying to make a serious point then when he forgets about respectability and lets himself go to be as offensive as he likes, which doesn't always go down well with other audiences. Accordingly, he has a long list of places he hates, Skeqness ('how shit must your everyday life be for you to go to Skeqness on your holidays?') and Plymouth coming in for the most vitriol. He likes Norwich though. For someone who 's built his act around attacking the world from an intelligent, yet relentlessly caustic viewpoint, it must be a relief to play gigs in a proper theatre to a polite audience, as opposed to a dive club in an unfriendly city. It makes the political stuff a lot easier to perform, anyway. He goes to great lengths to stress that, while he's ferociously against the right-wing, that doesn't mean he's a liberal, and then proceeds to attack the middle-class peace marchers and point out how much Michael Moore charges for one of his performances.

Burns' shows are much cheaper and though he isn't a consistent comic as such and there are parts of his act that drag on a bit, when he's at his best he can have people doubled over in laughter, though it undoubtedly helps if your sense of humour is jet black and your politics run to the anti-establishment.

Robert Lavine

Book Review Pleasure of My Company ow do you seduce someone when you always need the total wattage of illuminated light bulbs in your apartment to add up to 1125? This, and many other questions like it, plague the hero and protagonist of Steve Martin's second novel, The Pleasure of My

H

Company.

Daniel Pecan Cambridge has obsessivecompulsive disorder. Though once he worked for Hewlett Packard, now a series of selfimposed restrictions more or less confine him to his apartment complex. He doesn't have a TV or telephone and can only cross the street when he finds two driveways that face each other aactly.

Curbs are an impossibility.

Despite all this, however, he remains relatively cheerful. Daniel's problem is that he thinks about things too much. For instance, whereas most people would go and introduce themselves to a woman they fancy who works across the street, Daniel concocts elaborate schemes and deceptions, and then fails to act on them. As a result, the days are just packed. Into

Theatre Preview La Ronde he Drama Studio has had a run of plays that began their life knee-deep in scandal that people feel should be revived and appreciated for more than their shock factor. I'm thinking of Jean Genet's The Screens and JeanPaul Sartre's Huis Clos to name but two. Week 12 brings us a play described as 'a daisy chain of sexual encounters' which opened to riots and torrents of rotten vegetables greeting the actors at curtain up. Arthur Schnitzler's play attempts to portray sex, in a similar way to sleep or death, as the great leveller of people of all social backgrounds and situations. Its aim is to examine the complex interactions that occur between men and women and this is done by presenting duologues played out between gentlemen and chambermaids, poets and actresses, husbands and wives.

Emma Brown, the director of the production, is clearly a big fan of the play calling it clever and perceptive, yet accessible, in its examination of the intricacies of love and the different types of human relationship. The focus of the story, because the various duologues are all connected to each other, is on the importance of understanding stereotypes and seeing beyond

T

this carefully constructed life, Martin throws numerous romantic and loqistical complications, including a trainee psychiatrist who may have more issues than Daniel, and the various difficulties that arise from entering a 'Most Average American' competition.

Writing from Daniel's point of view suits Martin's style perfectly. Maybe because of years of easy Californian living and expensive shrir 'â&#x20AC;˘ the actor turned author writes with a brr detached but analytical tone that fits a neu character with worryingly little need for a ation. The Pleasure of My Company was unlu 1 to be released around the same time as Ma1.K Haddon's The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time, another novel where the nanator's world view is skewed, and it does suffer by comparison. Haddon's is an altogether more virtuoso work, more immediately impressive and affecting. But Martin's book shouldn't be ignored. There's long been a fairly accurate rule regarding his movie work that you should only see the fi.hns he's also written; forget Bringing Down the House and Cheaper by the Dozen Steve Martin the writer has yet to disappoint.

Here he achieves the difficult balance of making a troubled character likeable and funny without trivialising the very real problems involved.

Stan Goodspeed

the facades of the generic characters of soldier, prostitute, wife. The idea is that we all subscribe to notions of ourselves and others as part of a particular group or collective and, while they exist for a reason, we would do better to look for what makes us unique rather than similar.

The series of scenes is set up to show how repetitive behaviours can be, how little it matters what background you come from when you're face to face with someone who dissolves your self-possession and sees through your cover up. Emrna stresses the timeless quality of the piece saying that the skill of the writing means you'll be able to see things you've said and done played out on stage before your eyes.

The set will be limited to give an 'anywhere, anytirne' feel allowing the focus to fall on the skill and wit of the language as well as the sumptuous costumes. Any play that aims to subvert Freudian theory is one that deals with sa and sexual politics but there is more to the play than who's shagging who. There are strong parts for both male and female actors and the splintered nature of the performance through the duologues gives each player a turn in the spotlight.

Go along to witness an amusing examination of the merry-go-round that is male/female interaction and support an ambitious production of what is an aciting, challenging piece of theatre.

It is on 30th, 31st March and lst April starting at 7 .30. Tickets on sale in the Hive and at the Studio.

Katharine Clemow

24.03.04

18

Essential TV Review: Footballer's Wives TV Wednesday 9pm ITV1 I Black Books Thursd ay, l Opm Channel 4 Jack Books is finally b ack on our scree ns , and thank goodness b e cause it is one of th e funniest shows of all time, or our time , one of the two, (this is an objec tive opinion of course).

For those of you tha t don't know what Black Books is about , here is a s ununary: There is a man , Bre ndan Blac k , who owns a book shop called Black Books, but ra the r than wanting to sell books he p refers to g e t drunk and abuse his assistant Manny in a n umbe r of intere sting and p ainful ways, whilst their friendly ne ighbourhood alcoholic Fran sp e nds he r time drunk and ve nomous , p erha p s pining after the shop tha t sh e use d to own in the first s eries disappeared b e fore the start of the s econd.

The BBC 's Britain 's Best Sitcoms put it a t an appalling 58 , b etween Citizen Smith and Th e Liver Bird's, whilst not lingering on this injustice it seems incredible that such a masterful co med y should be in the non-aired section of the top 100.

Black Books is an origin al and hilario us show, with some of the most bizarre and enjoyable plots on TV What othe r show could h ave two men decide to write a children 's story, first of all the y sp e nd hours of inactivity, the n they write a o ne th ousand p age e pic about a fathe r who is haunted by the Stalinist purges, his daughter, and the man who thinks th at the father didn't even live through the Stalinist purges but is in love with the daughter and thus is willing to forget this , but they decide that a book about an e lephant that looses his re d balloon would be better, write this book but then decide that it is so g ood that there lives will be r uined by how rich a nd successful they will b ecome and following this burn the newly writte n book to live in peace. Not to mention what Fran got up to.

The ease with which the two main characters , Bill Bailey and Dylan Moran who play Manny and Bernard Black respectively, work so well together they are up there with the all time great double acts , like Starsky and Hu tch, The Two Ronnies, Morecambe and Wise . The y have an o n-screen c hemistry tha t makes e ve ry joke hit home. This show could not be recomme nde d more highly. Please wa tch it , you'lllove it.

B

Tirn Barker

TV l's Footballer 's Wives h a s g raced our sc re ens ye t ag ain in the 3rd series of tack, sex and glamour tha t we, as a nation, a ppe ar to love. Just what exactly draws us to television's most self-conscio us demonstration of gratuitous nonse nse? Glamourised escapism of comple x desire? In a society ob sessed with the celebrity species, rather than beco ming sick to the back teeth with their over saturatio n, we have instead been happy to accept 'Tania Turner ' and 'Kyle Pascoe' as some strange 'ficto -celeb ' , fusi ng those elements of the cele b rity lifestyle we love to hate. No one , at least no one with a straig h t face, could argue that the series' appeal comes from its strong, dee p storylines, or the stunning performances of the a ctors. From C hardonnay and Kyle 's fairytale wedding and late r herma p hrodite baby, to this se rie s ' currie d poach and carry-on style flyaway hot air balloon wedding charad e, 'realism' is not high on the produce rs ' ag e ndas. It is absurd, and we know it is , so just why do we love it so?

Arguably the show is a d e lectable h our o f e ye c andy; Tania and Ambe r in various states of undre ss, plentiful nake d loc ke r room shower shots, and enough sex to give Samantha Jones a r un for her Manolos, the re is temp tation for all , and blatantly so. The ce ntral characte rs are all 'ne w money' in the 'Titanic' sense, and have all b e en e levated to members of the elite through s tupe ndously high wa g e p a ckets in football .

adde d as parodie s of Posh and Becks. Hrnmmrn, somehow I feel that these two will neve r reac h the height of ' class' those two na tional tre asure s have.

Whateve r the dynamics of a ttraction may be, we can rest assured that Footballer's Wives will continue to attract high viewing figures and with rumours of another series being p lanne d , the end is certainly n ot in sight. Th e hour of pleasure we obtain from the serie s may indeed be far more simple. Perhaps we simply love the visual spe ctacle of lavishness it portrays and enjoy a taste of the tacky with the reassurance that our 'more tasteful' lives will return a t the end. Is this a level of superiority we don't h ave ?

Maybe , and we should just enjoy a fantastical hour of excess and freedom filled with d e vilish temptation ... .

L ucy R udduck

Games Reviews: Chicago I93o, ÂŁ29.99 Pc W:

thi r~vi~

se a son in full swing, we're all c ry ing out for some form of distraction that we can blame when our exam results don't meet exp e ctai o n s Something so addictive there c a n be no bed too inviting, no lecture too vital and nothing but phone ordered takeaways for dinner all week.

Chicago 1930 comes very close, but no cigar, e xcept for the incredibly fat stogie always protruding from Don Falcon's sinister grin.

With nothing revolutionary to offer in terms of gameplay - get keys, shoot enemies, run

about , click click click - Chicago 1930 won't become one of the measuring posts of the g aming world However, beca use it is so familiar to e ve n the fair-wea ther g amer, it's easie r to start things rolling a nd g e t stuck into the real a ction .

After deciding wh ether you 're feeling law abid ing or no t you can begin to build a team of mobsters o r coppers as you negotiate the various missions set. As you complete th ese missions your team will become more experienced a t the various skills they have , including close comba t, first aid and b r ib e ry. It 's most effe ctive to Je t one man specialise in each of the categories, allrounders being a bit tedious to create and no more use than a well constructed team .

In order to finish the game, all the missions on both sides of the law have to be carried out , giving a slightly schizophrenic fe e l to the game.

Unfortunately, this is neithe r the first time this ide a has been used nor the most e ffective use of the concept. Seing a s you're asking, The Getaway probably was. When controlling the

various bands of not-so-merry m en in Chicago 1930 the Gods-eye view p reve nts any re al e motio nal involve m e nt with the action. We 're not cast in amongst a sea of blood, guts, bribery and illegal boozing as we so easily could be. This is wh ere the g ame suffers from only b e ing available on the PC. It feels slightly more like FA Manager o r some suc h nonsense fo r middleaged men with Nissans than so mething that could have you on the edg e of your seat as you negotiate enemy territory with o nly your wits and a wedge of cash to save your skin .

While Chicago 1930 is enjoyable and a fine example of how the point and click genre can b e jazzed up , it's no t got e nough excite m ent to keep you at your camp until the wee s mall hours. It is easy to get swept up into the actio n and become entirely obsessed but ultimately it might be more profitable to get ano ther game that's a little more polished and sure of itself, or even cr ack a b ook open .

KateBryant

Dark Age of Camelot, ÂŁ49.99 PC thur is dead . Me rlin is g one and Excalibur returned to legend. The fragile eace that existed between the realms has collapsed and now the Kingdoms of Albion , Hibernia, and Midg ard are a t war with each other, vying for sacred relics to ensure their dominance over all . On what side of the conflict will yo u find yourse lf? We lcome to the Dark Age

o!Cam elot.

Quests are leve l b as e d and are numerous at some le vels while rare in others. Players are given the option of doing mini quests called 'Tasks ' doled out by NPC 's. Th ese ta sks are eithe r "Deliver Package to 'X' and Return to m e" or ' Go and kill a 'Y' and re turn to me for your award'. Tasks have a time limit and reward the p laye r with coinage and a decent amount of e xperience. Players are allowed so many Tasks per level s o o nce they or Q uests are exhausted, it become s a monster hunt. Of course, there are numerous dungeons scattere d through out the realm offering another avenue of earning XP as well as a g ood d ungeon crawl.

Though the game mostly revolves around combat, it is not to say this becomes te dious o r

24.03.04

They are not upper class as a result , howeve r ; rather they sit on some hazy ground that mixes Coronation Street with Paris Hilto n and Nicole Richie . Perhaps their flamboyance and econ omic free dom is therefore an attainable goal fo r all of us , the naive a udie nce, and we b e lieve that one d ay, we too can have p e rmanent 2 inch-long manicured nails like Tania, or even b e privile ged enough to attract the likes of Jordan to our weddings. Surely the fact that they are ordinary people b ehaving in extraordinary ways is half of the a ppeal, and in a s trange power shift , we e njoy laughing a t the c hea pness of those that have the money.

This ser ies appears to b e slightly short on actual story line s , as a result of the h uge mistake of killin g Jason off and m arrying Tania to Frank Lasle tt. The makers have instead a tte mpted to keep the a udience's atte ntion through the inclusion of Conrad and Amber Ga tes, inte ntionally

o ne -dime nsional. Combat is detailed , taking into account weapon type, Combat style , and e ffectiveness against creature/ armour types . During the levelling p rocess , a character earns p oints to use in specializing skills, b e they combat styles , magic sp ells , or stealth skills. Specializing offers the player special comb a t moves or spells .

Through the use of the special co mbat moves a style offers, a playe r can effectively c hain a c omb ination of moves to h elp bring down a foe quickly. Some moves howeve r are only available in certain circumstances (Must have parried a b low first , first leve l comba t move must have been successful etc). The e nd result is e ach combat c an b e varied rather than a rep e titive slug match where the highest number wins.

Death in the game is a painless affair ; incurring a small loss of XP and returning a p layer back to their 'Bind Stone ', usually a town o r cities d esignated by the player. Players can seek out the spot where they died where a 'Headsto ne ' will be e rected. Praying a t the headsto ne will grant some of the XP loss back to the characte r but no t all of it. Being resurrected by ano the r p layer character before returning to one 's bind

point c an mitiga te the loss e ntirely but its not eve ry d ay a healer is in the neighbourhood.

Coupled with the new graphical expansion p ac k, Shrouded isle's, the graphics are a d efinite imp rove ment from its o riginal forma t, with more flair, better textures , and rippling wa ter effects.

New spell effects are also apparent as some sp ells show disembodied faces tha t scre am over the ir victims or d az:iling e xplos ions. With the addition of three ne w continents to travel create d with the ne w enhancements , the improveme nts are ve ry notice able. Even the original la ndscape s re ce ive d somewhat of a facelift with the enhancement.

Dark Ag e of Camelot may no t be the best looking or s ounding MMOG on the market , but when it comes to the game play, variety, and Mythic 's dedicatio n for imp roving their game, there 's very few MMOG 's out the re that can m a tch it. Though the game leans strongly toward combat, it's no t sho rt on fun . You'll get your money's worth out of this one.

Dan Chan dler

-------------------------------Listings19 11 The Event conscripts James Banks to find out what's worth doing in Norwich this fortnight.

3.SuddeDly Last Summer@ Theatre Royal Produced by Sheffield Theatre's award-winning associate director Michael Grandage this promises to be a good production of Tennessee Williams' classic play starring Diana Rigg and Victoria Hamilton.

Tue 30th- Sat 3rd March at 7.30pm with 2.30 matinees on Thur & Sat. £4-19.50.

The Memorandum@ The

Garage.

The Garage in North Chapelfield has recently opened as the new venue for the Theatre Royal's studio theatre company. The first production to be performed is the comic yet profound The Memorandum writen byVaclav Have!, the former president of the Czech Republic.

Thur 25th to Saturday 27th at 7 .30.

2. BuWe's House@ Norwich Playhouse.

This play by Booker Prize winning Thomas Kennedy focuses on the tragic consequences of Aboriginal Australians giving away their 'ranga' totems, said to hold the secrets of the world, to white settlers.

Thur 25th March at 7.30.£10 (£8 cone, £6 student groups)

4. The Comedy Store @The Forum The Store is now into its tenth year of making people laugh: Norwich's branch has another night of comedy for your giggling pleasure.

Roger Monkhouse, Micky Flanagan, Carey Marx and Phil Nicole feature.

Wed 24th Feb. Doors 8pm, Comedy from 9pm. £12.

5. Richard Alston Dance Company @Theatre Royal Britains foremost choreographer's sets dance to live performances of the music of Scarlatti, Ravel and Rameau.

Fri 26th & Sat 27th March at &.30pm. £4-14.50.

6. Another issue of Ditto (again).

The Hive, Friday 12-2,look in the rack of leaflets.

7. Pottering around Why not have a little walk and a think about things? Beats doing essays after all ...

The Passion of Christ @

UCI/Ster Century Mel Gibson makes a film in another language with subtitles, takes the story of Jesus and mixes in some controversy. No it's not Life of Brian, but it'll be worth going just to see if its as bad or as good as everyone says it is.

2. Zl Grams @ UCI/Ster Century Alejandro Gonzalez Iftarritu's follow-up to Amores Perros isn't quite as original as its predecessor, but the performances are great and it might even give you a lot to think about.

3. Mona Lisa Smile @ UCI/Ster Century Julia Roberts smiles her way through 1950s American university on a teaching post. There she teaches her female students to rise above accepted norms and society.

Get your bleep machine out! A tribute to the man who loves his dogs, swearing and riding a quad bike ... Anyway, its worthwhile going to check them out. They may even have a tribute to Kellyl Support from This Machine. Fri March 26 £7 (£5 NUS) adv.

2. Scissor Sisters @The Waterfront New York, New York- no longer Sinatra but new rock-dance combo. Be prepared for the hip and funky to descend on Norwich with a case load of crazy dress and meoldic tunes.

Mon March 29. £8.50 adv.

3. Solaheat 1Uliance@ Norwich Arts Centre Like your bacardi strong and your malibu even stonger? Then head down for a night of electric caribbean punk and reggae. Enough to put bubbles in your lilt. £5 adv.

S.DJ Lottie@ LCR A night to put your best shoes on as the Radio One beat master is playing future house music for those who know what it means. The second rooms got names like Basil Hayes, Steve "Scratch" Wurly, and the Legendary Louis from Offyerlace. £9.95 (£7 NUS) adv.

6. Drum Clinic @The Waterfront Go to release post-exam stress or learn to annoy your housemates with you in time plate tapping. Headed by Paul Weller's drummer Steve White - everyone can hit the high hat with a man whose brother was sacked by Oasis. Sun March 28. £6 adv.

7. Meltdown @The Waterfront Its not live this time, but the usual drink and throw yourself combo is on. This week Britpoppin' is upstairs. Sat £3.50 NUS. 8. Franz Ferdinand @The Waterfront Coming up the new Scottish NME darlings are back to the sweaty haunts of the Waterfront.

Take Me Out will be the crowd pleaser - see them now before they play Wembley! Tues Apri127.

5. School of Roclc @UCI/Ster Century Jack Black's rock star lifestyle now see's him becoming a teacher to create ... a rock band.

Child actors and Jack Black, interesting!

6. Starslcy and Hutch @ UCI/Ster Century American reviews suggest it isn't great, but then they said the same about Old School (made by the same team) and that's now considered as great as Citizen Kane (by some) 7. The Trilogy @Union Film Trio of vastly different, interlocking French movies that have done very well on the festival circuit. Last chance to see it on campus. Thur Mar 2S,LT1.

8. Torque @ UCI Yet another generic copy of The Fast and the Furious. One twist is that its set on motorbikes ...

Come on you know the plot by now!

Every Thursday is live blues. Stop breakin' down over that essay deadline and order whiskey in your tea. Every Thursday.

4. Meltdown Live 10 Get out, get drunk and see some local bands.

Such as the insanley named Porcupine, Sennen, lJewelyn and Conway. Some DJs to fill the time. From 7.30-11.30pm. £5 adv.

The Rock Club Presents Sabbath @The Waterfront

4. Along Came Polly @UCI/Cinema City/Ster A feel good funny film boasting: a naked french scuber diver, Jenifer Anniston sa1sa dancing, an Austrlian thrill seeker and the usual idoicy of Ben Stiller. Good to go as a group, or good for cuddling up to your girl/boy.

Girls Aloud@Time Nightclub The battle for the king of the Norwich live scene hottens up. Two celeb packed filled clubs adorn this Friday. First up Time have got everyones favourite pop idol/stars/insert name here group. Expect hits like 'Sound of the underground'. Admission is £10,£8 adv. Fri March26.

2. Passion@ Mercy NightClub Next up is the infamous bitch ofWalford. After pushing Barry off the cliff, what more can a soap star do but tour the club circuit? Janine (aka Charlie Brooks) is at Mercy. No standing near any cliff faces. If only Frank was going too!

Admission £3 before 11 :OOpm, £5 after. Dress code is smart casual. Expect to be listening to commercial Dance and RnB. Fri March 26.

3.Listen to the Blues @Walnut Tree Shades Step back into this quaint semi-american bar.

Marvel at the old signs and even the jukebox.

4. The LCR Top 50@ LCR Same crap, diffrent night, diffrent name. Except this time its the Top SO! This time the catch is that you can drunkenly believe that you voted for the song that is played. Fri April 2 £3 adv.

5. DJ Yoda@ Po Na Na Execpt Hans Solo and crew to be in attendance.

Yoda is spinning the tunes for you on Thursday 25 March, £6.

6. Back to School @ LCR It's the end of the term School Daze so dust off your tie, polish up your prefect badge and roll up your skirt. Every students fantasy brought out into a big sweaty room. Tickets go on sale on Monday 22nd March, so get your ticket quick as its guaranteed to sell out.

7. Dance till you drop @ Loft Drum 'n' bass, breaks and electro and all your favourite sounds can be found at the Loft. lOpm - 6am - can you pull the ultimate all nighter? Fri March26.

8. Piano Bar@ The Forum If meeting Janine isn't your thing, or dancing to

Girls Aloud aint your style. Why not pretend to be sophisticated and classy to the girl you love? The Forum's jazz piano is playing from 7.30 and its free. Fri March 26.

24.03.04

~~ - ----

--

- - -~ -- --

HENRYS IIAIIt+CAJ't

Mondays from 6pm

BEST COCKTAILS IN NORWICH!

A STARSKY AND