Venue issue 250 18 01 2011

Editor-in-Chief> Danny Coli ins I concrete.editor@uea.ac.uk Venue Editor> Duncan Vicat-B rown I concrete.event@uea.ac.uk Deputy Venue Editor> Fiona Howard

I Fashion Editor> Kat Jones Deputy Fashion Editor> Ha nna h Brill Fashion Contributors> Melissa Rushworth, Kat Jones, Eleonor Wilson

I Arts Editor> Liz Jack son Arts Contributors>Rochaellum, Harriet Jones, Hazel Compton, Emmo Webbe

Creative Writing Editor> Robert Van Egghen Creative Writing Contributors>Genevieve Westrope

I Television Editor> Tasha Galley Television Contributors>Notolie Stephenson, Moll Tidby, Helen Eoton, Amy Adorns, Eleonor Brown, Beth Wyott

Wired Editor> Vaughn Highf1eld

hursday rd Feb-

Wired Contributors> DJ Turner, Mehul Somom. Voughn H1ghheld

I Music Editors> Aiec Plowman & Alex Th rossell Music Contributors>liz Jock son, Rose Clork, Chris Corby, Alec Plowman

I Film Editor> Paul Martin Deputy Film Editor> Cotherine Watts Film Contributors>Cioire Price, Samantho Rogers, Paul Martin, George Gilbert, Steph McKenna,Kate Alien lothoniel Oyer, Alex Oobrik, Catherine Watts, Alek Stoodley

listings Editor> Geo rgina Wade listings Contributors>Georgino Wade

Competitions Editor> Henry Croft

Thursday Dip your 10th Fell- Flange! D'g Deep & D p your Flange w th th s s Gui"'K Tank! Score a Wrole m 1 and wm a Ca5h Pâ&#x20AC;˘tzel

~t)ursday

Commando flange!

Get dow"l a ne ;::) 'iy w1th Com Tlando F angetl Grab ~='RE=E Ad,.... ss on before 11 30pm tn Arrr y ~ d'lcy Drec;sl

Competitions Contributors> Henry Croft Sp '1 I e F'al"'ye Wheel or Fortul"'e for your chance to WP\1 1 Cash Pnzes. Tokenc; fshtrts & Morel'

C ~ E A T I V E .. W~ I T I <N G

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SPECIAL SHORT STORY FROM GENEVIEVE WESTROPE ••• (I) {!)

er two small hands lay flat in her lap . She looked down at them, lifted them up one, then the other, and examined them for the first time . These were her hands, she realized that much, but she hadn't seen them before. "They're awfully beautiful" she cooed aloud, startled by her own voice - again, someth ing that she hadn't heard . But beautiful they were . They were small, clasped with in each other, worn and leathered by years of life . She stared at them still, amazed at what they looked like . She wondered what these hands had done, these two fragile instruments. She guessed that they had touched, needed, begged and loved, but that they had also hated and been jealous . Perhaps they had even cursed and hit. She sat in the creases of a chair that looked as aged as her hands. The hard wood curved, up and around like an antique bird cage . lt framed the colourfu l yellow cushion, in an old elegance, the lines and folds of the cushion her stooped body. lt adjusted for her easily as she swam in its feathered waves to face the window overlooking a small garden forest, as she did every afternoon . But every day she sat in front of it, the roses and birch trees were always new. Today, they were burdened by winter's late frost . The flowers were wi lted and the trees lifeless; their bark pee ling, leaving them vu lnerable to the cold . Her mind was becoming the same; peeling and vulnerable. Winter melded too easi ly in to spring, and she would notice only in autumn again that a season had passed. Time was no longer the glorious possession it had been when she was younger. Time was now only someth ing she witnessed on her own body, and something she despised, not for the effects, but for how slowly and cruelly it went on. She peered a little harder at her landscape, the sun struck vio lent ly off the wet snow. She squinted . lt hurt her eyes to look out at winter, and she hated how the co ld made her bones burn . She preferred the summer, when she could see the birds and the roses and the tulips . She didn't like how angry winter was, how long it took and how it took away life so easily. She missed the animation of the warm seasons; the school children laughing, the robins chirping, the lovers quarrelling under protective trees. Amongst the harsh white, she saw a flash of blue. She turned her body as quickly as she could, slowly still, towards the colour, and stared directly into the depths of a Blue Jay's wings . She had no doubt that he was there. A blue jay in winter was possible ... it was necessary. He ruffled his feathers, majestically, proudly; stepped forwards, backwards, stopped, and repeated . He was careful with his steps, mathematical and precise, his snowy footprints choreographed perfectly. He turned around and looked at her, embarrassed, but pleased to have an audience . She stared back at him, unaware that she, alone in her chair, was the only one watching the Blue Jay dance. He ruffled again, more passionately this time, and she giggled. The voice that startled her before was youthful now, almost child-like . She liked the Blue Jay, for he was dancing solely for her. He waltzed along the ground, treading tiny marks

Next Issue Theme for next issue: 'Lie Still' Emai l your submissions t o:

concrete .creativewriting@uea.ac.uk DEADLINE 26TH JANUARY

into the winter canvas . She knew his dance too . Abandoning her perch, she lifted herself out of the chair, and steadied herself as her legs swayed beneath her body. She took one step forwards, one step back and stopped . She waited for the Jay. He obl iged, mirroring her movement. She closed her eyes and began to dance . When she opened her eyes again she was dancing with her father. He was handsome, and she, a young girl. On tiptoes, her feet were gently set on his and he laughed his hearty laugh. She was learn ing her first waltz. She hugged onto her father's wa ist, closed her eyes and smelled the familiar cloudy Old Spice cologne. The chairs had been pushed away, the carpet rolled up and standing upright in the corner of the room . Every Sunday, her father transformed their living room into a ballroom . The lights would dim, candles would be lit, and the walls would instantly change themselves . The ceilings would turn gold and the floor became hard and marbled . Her father pulled her around the room, slowly and gently moving his feet with hers. She would wiggle her hips like she saw her mot her do, and would smile at her skill. She could hear her mot her humming the rhythm that she and her father were dancing to . In between, the notes wou ld be bursts of chi ldish giggles, and at one point, the notes stopped all together. "Barbara," her mother whined, with a playfu l smile across her lips, "don't hog your father all night' Give me a go ... " And off they would go. Barbara would run in between their steps, always a bit behind . They were paralleled and perfect, movements clear, solid and rhythmic, and they would skate around the living room, carefully avoiding any obstacles. She would always note that her mother would no longer hum, and they could fall in time to the music that clung in the air from years of their dance .

" ... what these hands had done, these two fragile instruments" A blink and she was years later, still dancing, and still just as happy. She was better now, long past her first waltz. She could keep up with her father of course, but he had an elegance that she lacked and so greedily envied . She coveted this time with him . Other girls would not admit to th is, dancing with their fathers, not at her age . She knew she would be leaving her father soon and these dances, these brief moments of living luxury. She would marry Jack, the charming and boyishly fine -looking classmate down the road . He was kind and gentle, from what she could tell, and he had wanted her badly, coveted her as much as she coveted the moments with her father. A second later, she was dancing with her husband, Jack. He was handsome, and she, still young. She now needed no one's guidance, but instead, could move swiftly in time with her groom . Her cheeks were warm with a summer's night and alcohol, but her feet never faltered . She hiccupped from her second glass of champagne and blushed in the face of her new companion . He chuckled . He still had the sound of a boy's laugh; it hadn't seen enough, it hadn't been around long enough to be hearty - like her father's . She smiled at her husband, and he smiled back. He was the best dancer she had ever seen . One more moment passed, and once again, she was with her husband . They still danced, and as she looked at

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his face, she saw the same gentle love back, but only now with crew's feet and laugh lines. She took this to be a true testament to their life together, but she wasn 't done loving him yet . She certainly wasn't done the dance, she thought she had so much of that left in her. Her husband stopped his feet but held her close . "I love you Birdie," he whispered into her ear. She knew this was pure bliss. "Birdie ... ", a voice broke into her thoughts, and stopped her m id-dance. She opened both eyes, slowly, and extended her neck toward the sound . Bird ie? she thou ght. lt wasn't her name, not really. Her mind strained to find a response . lt had been too long, too many decades since she'd heard it. " No one's called me Birdie in years ." " I'm sorry missus, " a fresh -faced, eager man said, cautiously, through perfect teeth . Just yesterday he had talked with Birdie for twenty minute s. She confessed to him that she was a dancer. She told him of her stories, a few of her family, she as a young girl. She didn't tell him though of her children or grandchildren . They went unspoken . They had been forgotten . The eager man with perfect teeth had danced with her briefly, too . She told him her husband nicknamed her Birdie, and often called him Jack. He didn't mind, he knew Mrs Barbara well. He was disappointed, but not surprised, that she had already forgotte n this confession. "I just came to give you your dinner, missus." "I was dancing ." She smiled . She turned to face the window again . She was slow, especially as her bones and muscles moaned and screeched from her dance . She wanted to apologize to the Jay for the interruption and continue her dance with him. When her head craned slowly around to see outside, the Jay was nowhere to be seen . Snow had .taken his place, erasing the evidence of his dance. Her smile disappeared . Aga in. She gripped onto the arms of her chair, lowering herself slowly into its folds; nestling into its cushions. She positioned herself carefully, folding back into where the seat had made room for her body. She sat there for a moment longer, staring straight out towards where her dancing partner had been . Then, her eyes took on their usual lifelessness and the blueness in them went cold like her winter landscape . They fell towards her hands. She had never seen them before .

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18JAN1Di ISSUE 2~0

FASHION concrete.fashion@uea.ac.uk

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Happy New Yea rr We lcome back to t he Spring Semeste r of t he year and not j ust any o ld year but a new decade. 2on has sucker-punched itse lf on us and it brings with it a brand new att it ude to f as hion. First t hings fi rst, the Ja nuary sa les, it has to be done but we bri ng you t he alternat ive so lution to battling the crowds and t he cold by reviewing some of the best webs ites. When yo u do have to ve nture outs ide, check out t he shoot of how to laye r up w ith sty le, and lads we give you a g li mspe of the t rends you should embrace t his season. Enjoy.

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CAN ' T YOU SEE THAT IT' S JUST RAINING;

A1N ' T NO NEED TO Go OuTSIDE

NET - A - P 0 RTER. C 0 M

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" Don't ever underest imate t he power of women to shop", someth ing t he founder of Net-a-Porter, Nata lie Massenet, used to say to doubtfu l venture capita li sts, and it appears she was right. Over ten years ago Natalie Massenet launched the online high-fashion empire Net-a-Porter, and its undeniable success can be seen in the figures alone, as the company receives s,ooo orders a day. If you are looking for luxury gift-wrapped style, then look no further. The days of endlessly trawling stores and enduring insufferably stuffy changing rooms are over. With all the information you could possibly require, including size charts, whether the item fits true to size and even tips from stylists on how best to wear the piece, the customer service is undeniable. The transactions are over so quickly that they are practically guilt-free and within l-2 working days, you are greeted with your beautiful boxed purchases and if it's still not quite right, then there's a free returns policy.

it's January, the most depressing time of the year with scrunched-up wrapping paper overflowing in the bin, a long li st of t hank you letters to write, a fuzzy head from New Year celebrations and endless adverts and magazines saying we should all be shaping up with brisk morn ing hikes while adding sw imming, yoga and boxercise in to our already work-fi ll ed schedules. To top it all off, it's sti ll freezing co ld and gloomy outside, and with the sounds of sleigh be ll s long gone there's nothing to look forward to. I'd much rather follow the wise words of Jack Johnson (from the title) and stay in the warm, snug as a bug with a cup of steaming hot tea and those banana pancakes that he sings of whilst eeking out 'work' from home as long as possible. So while padding around in those ultra cosy socks from Father Christmas, here are a few fashion-forward websites enabling you to embrace the sales without the arctic conditions. Surf's up 1

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From personal experience, this is the most indulgent way to splurge online. And for all the students out there, the prices for luxury can be intimidating and frankly out of the question. But have no fear, Net-a-Porter's little sister is out there in the form of the Outnet.com, the discount designer site 1 M eli ssa Rushwo rth

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··· asos.oHer iiiase"fi.ickYtYkes·····

with an NUS student card a lO% discount off all purchases.

asos.com: it's got it all covered; clothes for women, men and kids, beauty products, accessories from hats to headphones, a heading on the homepage is even entitled 'life', for crying out loud. And the guys at asos certainly provide a vast range of products and features to compliment any stylish life. While the 735 results brought up by a search for women's dresses may seem daunting at first, the asos site comes into its own here, allowing the shopper to refine results by style, size, colour, price and even celebrity inspiration, so you don't have to spend your precious time sifting through end less pages of unsuitable or temptingly budget-

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Hot List Smol<in'

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T he gorgeous Spring/S ummer co ll ect ion by St ella McCartney

Eleanor W ilso n

M aternity )i)~Red Carpet \\! )( Fashion: Nat andJane have set the standard.

FEw MoRE

FAVOURITES: 1. www.instyle.co.uk Tips on style and beauty that go beyond its magazine with a "to-do list" daily to enhance your fashion knowledge.

2. www.topshop.com Discover new trends and lines coming to one of our favourite high street stores.

3· www.start-london.com The baby of Brix Smith Start, the outrageous blonde seen in Gok Wan's Fashion Fix offers designer must-haves for men and women. 4· www.fashionbeans.com Jam-packed with guides and articles on men's fashion and grooming.

Chol<in '

Step away from the Crocs. They were ugly in 20lO and they are still ugly in 2on.

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bust ing items. Still feeling a little lost7 Take a look at the fashion stories for featured trends and shop by collection, or fl ick through the on line magazine, which ingeniously allows you to click and buy many of the products on show. The massive blog section on the site offers yet more inspiration on 'What's hot in our world right now .. .', including street style snaps and tips straight from the buyers' mouths, as well as features reaching beyond just fashion, such as new music, films and reviews of stylish bars. asos is nothing short of an online department store, with the added advantage of being able to shop in your pjs.

Fond of yo ur cosy, f estive ju m per7 You' ll love t his t rend of anim al em blem s on kn itwea r.

Suri Cruise; a six year old w ith a bet ter wardrobe than us- give us a break 1

Good bye Guy liner -t his year wa nts clean , we ll groomed f aces ..

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Top to toe texture, there is plenty on the highstreet. Zara is home of"the Blazer" and with so% off in the sale, many are under £30. Teamed with camel jodhpurs, the blazer oozes the cool country chic look. Chunky scarves with matching hats are great for well co-ordinated warmth. There are bargains to be found at Primark at the £1 mark or for those that will see a bit more wear and tear, then head to Accessorize.

lt can be pick-a-mix with pattern too. From Topshop flora Is to H&M checks, just layer with a few block colours as clashing prints is so 2010. Details of pearls and jewellery add individuality.

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For Spring/Summer of 2011, men have an easy time perfecting the art of colourcoordination. Catwalks across Europe showcased many new lines of men's fashion covering the body from top to toe in one colour. Outfits consisted of each piece in a natural earthy tone, so think charcoal, teal, magnolia, slate. Pretentious descriptions? No, helpful descriptions, as "grey" and "brown" are not

the way to go, far too dark for the joys of Spring, besides you would never find a woman who would describe her clothes as being "charcoal" in colour, so don't worry they are all masculine terms. For those braver, there is always the 'salmon pink' category on offer. Believe me, you will have the girls buzzing around you like bees to sweet, sweet honey. KatJones

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Jersey £19 River Island

Trousers £32 Topman

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19JAN1 11 ISSUE 2~0

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lrTERATURE>HrsHAN MATAR>IN THE CouNTRY

MEN

Over five hun d red copies of In the Country of Men w ere distri but ed to all first year

attempted to "make it seem somewhat normal" when they were forced to move to

stud ents st artin g at UEA last term. On the 7th of Dece mb er 20lO, Concrete attended Hisham Matar's t alk about his debut nove l. Matar starts the evening unco nventi onall y by jokingly saying, " I >- wa nt t o apo log ise because I behaved very ~ ba dl y wi t h UEA". lt was certainly a way to ~ gras p attent io n. He th en explained tha t 0 he had once applied for t he un ivers ity's u Creative W rit ing Programme , but had postpon ed hi s reply. Lat er on , he on ly left for UEA a day aft er th e start of t he ~ programm e. As he sat th roug h his j ourney, _j Mat ar rece ive d news th at In the Country of Men wa s t o be publi shed and immed iate ly lL boarded th e next t ra in home - leaving the university in th e lurch. With th at, hi s stra ig ht fo rward nature u broke th e ice . Th e m ain hi ghl ig ht was Matar's ta lk about hi s chil dh ood and how ~ it shared parall els wi th th e book. His father ~ wa s a UN amba ssado r fo r Li bya and was active in po litics. Th e l970S was a time of political turmoil in th e country. However, the heart of the novel is 0 not in t he po li t ics but the children who

Egypt in l979Aithough Matar was generally at ease w ith the audience, he seemed slight ly uncomfortable when it came to the discussion of his father's interrogation. Neverthe less, being an unavoidab le topic that featured in t he nove l, Matar later ca lm ly po inted out t hat his fathe r's d isappearance and the know ledge two years later that he had been tortured in Libya natura ll y affected his fami ly The final part of the interview invo lved less serious matters, suc h as Matar's disclosure that his chi ld hood ambition was to be a ph ilosopher. lt would have been unusual for t he average l2-year-old had it not been for his parents' encouragement for hi m to pursue literature. Matar eventua lly graduated wi t h a degree in arc hitect ure but it has not stopped him from fo ll owing his passion 1n poetry and wnti ng. Hisham M ata r's honesty in disclosing the story behind his nove l shows how

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are indirectl y affected by it , such as t he novel's narrator Su leiman. He expresses t hat back then families we re "playing a delicate game" of she ltering chi ldren from Libyan politics. In his case, Matar's fami ly

much can be discovered by reading in between the lines of any novel. "In writing , eve rything's a language." He says. "You are caught in the mechanics of the language" Rachael Lum

DANCE>C >

Both trendy and d iverse, C-l2 is a successfu l dan ce th eatre co m pany, formed back in 2005 and origi natin g from t he London/ Hertford shire area . Di rected by Annie ~ Lunn ette Deak in Fost er, Nasae Evanson z and Adam Tow ndrow, t he com pany 1- unveil ed two emot ional ly gripping a: epi sode s of performance at the Norwich 3 Playhou se at th e end of last semeste r. The first 'Th e Chair', and t he seco nd 'Enough'. ~ Alt hough perha ps suggesti ng sim pli city 1-

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DANCE THEATRE>THE CHAIR AND ENOUGH with such blunt captions, the pe rformances themselves rat her proved intricat e, and penetrating Acquiring 5 st ar re views from Fringe, Hairline and Th ree Week s, th e innova ti ve group f oc uses on fu sin g t ogeth er an origina l mixt ure of ph ys ica l da nce wi th a thea t rica l narrat ive. ' En ough' is capti va ti ng ri g ht from th e start; we w itness t wo fe m ales in cl ose prox imi t y, w ith a series of m ove m ent s and post ures high li ghti ng pain, pa ss ion and so rrow. T he co m pe llin g and dra m ati c m usic throug hout, alongside the re si stant, unn at ural and d ist orted shapes mad e bet wee n t he two prese nted th e sinc erity of darkn ess in thi s pi ece, and furthermore sy mb oli sed th e depth s of strugg ling t o live li fe w ith a burde n. Wh at eve r t hi s may be . 'Th e Chair' re prese nted the fir st ti me t hat all direct ors had co llaborated t ogeth er o n a proj ect. lt is set in th e l 940S and looks int o a ma n's exp eri ence of li ving w it h abuse. W ith an em phas is on characterisati o n, t he perf or mance t ell s a t ale of some body t ak in g ju sti ce into his own hands. We know little about t hi s man but nonethe less Nasae Eva nson's sk ill s and st riking pe rformance in t he lead ro le proved promine nt and im pressive, and th e audience w as f orced to em pathi se w ith hi m and react t o his st ory em oti ona ll y

Murd er, t o rt ure and f orgive ness are co nsid ere d throug h o ne man's di scove ry of his roo t s and re latio nshi ps and t hu s the perform an ce , alt houg h heavy (t o say th e least ) was add icti ve and enga gi ng. Kooky and sty lized, it was clear 'Th e Cha ir' had a lot of meaning behind it, and an immense amount of work had been put int o perfecting it . If you' re in a good mood, per haps this eveni ng isn't going to enrich o r furthermore provoke that fee ling, as both pieces prove m ovi ng and emoti ona lly tenacious. From

beginnin g t o end th e pe rforma nces de m onst rat ed crea ti vity, t alent and sk ill, ri ch with de pt h and symbo li c imagery, and clever t ec hniques and ideas. Despite brilli ant reviews an d a fantast1c reception , No rwic h Playhouse wasn't fu ll. lt seems C-l2 is on t he way to becom 1ng more bri lliant, innovative and we ll -known but it isn't quit e there yet. If it sou nds like you r sort of th ing you shou ld check them out on tour, but be sure to spread the word_ Harriet Jones

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PANTOMIME> THEATRE RovAL>JAct< AND THE BEANSTALJ<

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0 Many pantomimes, due to the celebrity cast list, seem to ignore the fact that a pantomime is aimed at children and end up feeling stale, hard to sit through and a waste of money. But Norwich Theatre Royal's performance of Jack and the Beanstalk for this year's Christmas festivities brought a truly entertaining act to this young reporter's eyes, making one rethink the tag that all pantomime is diabolical. Maybe it was the addition of a wonderful audience that, when asked, really did give their best participation, with many voices standing out from the

rest as the performance went on to catcall the actors . Maybe it was the actors, who kept us entertained with jokes that were topical, culturally referencing events like Gillian McKeith on I'm A Celebrity. .. for her fainting attacks ("I just went over all Gillian McKeith!") or satirising the Disney film Beauty and the Beast by making the heroine dance with the giant's fingers, and giving the villain in the play the Little Britain rip off by hypnotizing people with the catchphrase "Look into the eyes, not around the eyes". There was even Nellie the Elephant who went for a happy rampage

through the jungle at one point. The set had been carefully thought through, with mice appearing from the sides to then become little children running to and fro. The giant was portrayed exceptionally well by gigantic limbs that, with the help of a few wires, managed to pick things up and carry them off stage. Finally, the costumes for everyone were over the top enough to be brilliant in any pantomime situation, with the dame (the usual pantomime stereotype of a cross dressed male) obsessed with "her" wardrobe and changing every other scene.

There were the other usual stereotypes of calling out silly things to the characters, and the inevitable "he's behind you", yet they were so easily slotted into the storyline, it would have been easy to miss them in all the excitement of finding out what was going to happen next. The music was brilliant too, with contemporary tracks like 'Walking on Sunshine' by Katrina and the Waves and 'Hero' by Enrique lglesias, alongside original composed ones and Disney tracks to set the scenes perfectly. On the third day of performance, there were still a few teething problems, yet as the play is comedic anyway, these fitted in, including a brilliant moment when not realising her weight, the dame sat on a bench and catapulted the other person across the stage. Yet, these are almost expected in pantomime. Seeing the cast in spontaneous laughter invokes the same in you, and makes it all the better. The pantomime was successful in appeasing to all age groups with its easy storyline to keep the kids happy and it's below the belt jokes for the adults, guaranteeing there wasn't a single unhappy face leaving the theatre.

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LITERATURE>DAVID PEACE>THE DAMNED UNITED With the commercial success of the film adaptation of The Damned United (starring Michael Sheen and Timothy Spall), people often forget it began with a novel. What David Peace does within the novel is something truly spectacular - he climbs inside the mind of a man who once claimed to be " ... not the best manager in the country, but in the top One." The narrative reads as a stream-of-consciousness battle of success and regret in the conscience of Brian

Clough, former manager of Derby County FC and bitter rival of Don Revie, Leeds Unitedturned-England manager in the 1970s. Peace shows Clough 'warts and all' during his famous 44-day stretch as Don Revie's unsuccessful successor of Leeds United. The language is coarse and the fights are dirty, and to that end Peace truly brings Clough back from the dead with his controversial 'fiction from fact' portrait of a fascinating and charmingly flawed man,

whose unfailing belief in himself above all other things is both astounding and admirable to the n'hdegree. The narrative is punctuated with little slices of football history - League tables from the 70s that see Ipswich finish above Arsenal, OPR qualify for the European Cup and Manchester United relegated to the second division. Although attacked on publication by some of Clough's family and some red-faced ex-Leeds United players, it has been hailed as a brilliantly moving representation of (lough's achievements and tribulations as a manager-and rightfully so. Perhaps the most stunning thing about this book is its continuing familiarity to a world of football fans at a time when football players have never been so alienating. Peace's Clough haggles with Ron Greenwood over Bobby Moore and Trevor Brooking in his of.lce, at the Upton Park we still know and (some of us) cherish. Leeds play at Elland Road, Derby pack out the Baseball Ground on a Saturday afternoon, and modern-day manager of Derby County is still Brian Clough's eight-year-old son going to work with his dad. No one transfers to an American pub side for money that would feed the starving- in this respect, it's almost beautiful escapism. You don't have to love Derby, hate

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Leeds or even like football at all to enjoy the beauty and magnificence of this book. z Peace himself dubbed it as "An English 0 Fairy Story." The Times named it, "Probably I the best novel ever written about sport." lt m might not be- but it's in the top One. <! ll..

EmmaWebbe

TELEVISION (J) Q_

REALITY)fAMOUS AND fEARLESS PRtMETtME>CoME FLY WtTH ME

8 AVAILABLE

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Presented by Chris Evans with Clare Balding and Jack Osbourne, two t eams sp lit by girls and boys compete amongst themselves to ~. w in diffe rent 'fea rl ess' sports. 2 Th e sometimes used set in stantly reminded of the ep ic Gladiators set of yesteryear w ith a huge fam il y fi ll ed arena audience . With that you expect excitement, 0 compet iti on and good ol' fam il y fu n but w rr. was any of that actually achieved'

"Siacl< has to be given, considering the fact that

this is a first series and, over all, a live show"

Chris Evans is certain polarizing and this show cements t hat his perso nality is like I- that of marmite. Even the normally quite rr. cheeky personality of Jack Osbourne is 3 sapped by the lack of chemistry as they awkwardly try to introdu ce the events. ~ Awkward is t he most su itab le theme fo r the entire series; the slick VTs of the two teams I- learning the sports is constant ly compared ~ to the ill-prepared live sections. rr. Slack ha s to be given considering this is l'J

BBC ONE, THURSDAY, 9PM

a first series and it being over al l a live show. There was a reasonable id ea here, but it was as botched as Eastenders babygate. There's been underst andable comp laints that the 'fea rl ess' factor of the show was minima l as the ce lebrities were only racing around a track on slig htl y different equipment each time (dirt buggies, power skat eboards, m ini motorbikes, etc). The slig htly more exciting feats we re taken on by the guest celebrities, but t hey were over very quickly before returning back to the repetitive starting and stopping of the races. Also, it's hardly fair for the compet ition that Sam Branson, Richard Bra nso n's son , had done about as many sports as Jack Osbourne. Kacey Ainsworth, otherwise known as Littl e Mo in Eastenders, never had a chance but prov ided t he viewers with a funny, sweet character to cheer on. She even made Chris Evans seem human and vaguely amusing at one point. it's sad that they made al l this effort and it d idn't even become good bad TV, as maybe that's what they had hoped for. Natalie Stephenson

THE LICENSE FEE: (J)

The TV li cense fee has been the topic of much debate for a long time with <{ discussions over whether television viewers should have a choice over if they pay or not, along w ith the suggestion that the BBC does not release enough good quality 2 o televis ion to justify the ÂŁ145.50 a year. One of the most popular stand -points ~ on the debate over the fee is that it is (J) <t:: unreasonable that there is no choice in the lL matter. In order to watch any te levision, and in ma ny cases, simp ly to own signa lI-

Very few fledg ling sketch shows are afforded the honour of a prime time Christmas Day debut, but the festive front line check-in of Come Fly with Me is telling of the esteem w ith w hi ch the BBC, and its audience, ho ld David Walliams and Matt Lucas . The esteem is seemingly justified by its audience figures, with the first episode securing a fina l figure of 12 .47 m ill ion, plac ing it in the top 10 most watched programmes of 2010. Filmed in a 'mockumentary' style with affectionate nods to shows such as Airport and Airline, it is essentially parodying a genre of popular documentary a decade or more after it achieved prominence. Whi lst the success of Little Britain lay in its surreal observational comedy before later becoming an unstoppable cu lturally d ivis ive catchphrase-vomiting machine, sadly Come Fly with Me fails to adequate ly do either. The sketches and characte rs tumble past, but noth ing gathers any comedic momentum. When the laughs come from viewer embarrassment at an ethica ll y questionable portraya l of two Japanese schoolgirls, it's time to worry whether this shou ld really have made it to television at all.

it is unden iab le that Lucas and Wa lli ams are both hugely talented actors- one of the few joys of Come Fly with Me is seeing them totally inhabit the characters, making them believable, if cartoonish , individuals. Some characte rs simp ly raise laug hs due to the level of transformation Luca s or Wal liams have undergone, which doesn't say much for the material. The material is lightweight and repetitive at best, crass and object ionab le at worst. In deed, the show has sparked complaints about perceived racism and pueril ity, and at a time when television is already on the ra ck over controvers ial comedy thanks to nightmaris h Frankie Boyle 's Tramado l Nights, a divisive and popular sketch show is the last t hing the BBC needs. Therefore, whi lst Come Fly with Me looks to be successful enough to return, it's tona ll y unba lanced comedy cou ld become the next blunderbuss in the arsenal of the Press to open fi re upon t he BBC and t he License Fee. MattTidby Prev ious ep isodes current ly available on BBC iplayer

Is IT REALLY NECESSARY?

receiving technology incurs a fee which is seeming ly obscene. Sure ly many peop le wou ld rather simp ly not pay for a TV li cense and just not watch BBC channe ls, however this is not an option. Would it not be much more reasonable to run a subscription fee for the BBC and give audiences a choice' Furthermore, with the increasing popu larity of internet-based catch -up services such as BBC iPiayer, there is no real need to pay for the privil ege of watching someth ing on te levision which can simply

be seen online for free. With an increasing number of live sports events passing onto Sky there are few live events which warrant the annua l cost of the TV license fee. Th e BBC was set up as a public service to "inform, educate and entertain" while representing the British community and promoting citizenship within a civil society.

But why should we have to pay for the BBC when the government manages, sometimes with difficulty, to maintain funding to othe r forms of pub lic serv ice 7 Is it just that television is not regarded as necessary for the good of society 7 Helen Eaton

TELEVISION

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PREVIEW 2011

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Here's our pick of what's not to be missed in 2011.

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Whether you love it, hate it, or still don't understand it, Glee is back for a second series, and it's just as fabulous as ever! Last year, millions of viewers were caught up in the shiny, optimistic and hilarious whirlwind of the McKinley High Glee Club, and this second series promises to have a similar effect, if the American response is anything to go by. It has been nominated for several awards, and music from the show once again filled last year's charts. There have been some changes, the new series promises to feature more contemporary songs than the last, and the first episode alone contained performances of songs by Lady Gaga, Jay-Z and Travie Me Coy. The new series also includes more

themed episodes, similar to the hugely popular 'Power of Madonna'. In the first half alone, there are episodes based around Britney Spears, The Rocky Horror Show Picture Show and a Christmas theme . Interestingly, it is the subplot of a love interest for Kurt which many seemed to respond to positively to overseas . Darren Criss joins the cast as rival Glee clubber Blaine, and it is his cover of Katy Perry's Teenage Dream which reached the highest position in the US charts, creating a huge buzz around the talented young star practically overnight. In all ways, Glee seems to be getting bigger and better, and television is just that bit more entertaining while it's around .

Tickets this way for the Chatsworth Express I Shameless is back and promises to be full of farcical misadventures with the bingedrinking, drug taking, overtly sexual working class rogues of Manchester. Series Seven saw hapless patriarch of the Gallagher family, Frank, find his soulmate in the form of ditsy librarian, Libby. However, as their wedding day draws nearer, Frank is nowhere to be found . Will Libby ever walk down the aisle and become Mrs. Gallagherthe third? Elsewhere, all is not well with the Maguires': after the surprise birth of baby Cilia and husband Paddy's departure, matriarch Mimi is left in charge ofthe family business. However, when she suddenly becomes ill, dozy son Shane takes over, causing more than a few problems.

Yet Mimi's eldest son, Jamie, has issues of his own to contend with when his estranged wife, Karen, returns to Chatsworth hoping to rekindle their romance for the sake of her son, Connor. But can Jamie simply forgive and forget7 With a new family on the estate and a fresh teenage love interest (or two) for the cunning Carl, series eight and its 22 episodes promises to be a strong season. New and regular viewers alike may have to suspend their disbelief a little when the show ventures into the weird and wonderful world of sci-fi with a pastiche of a much loved BBC time-travelling drama . But nonethe-less, Shameless remains miles ahead as Channel Four's premier gritty, hilarious and current night time caper. Eleanor Brown

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the waterfro In the summer of 2010 Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman graced our screens with a modern day interpretation of Conan-Doyle's detective duo. Created by Dr Who's Mark Gatiss and Stephen Moffat Sherlock is set to return during 2011 for a second series. The three-part series averaged a more than reasonable 7.2 million viewers over the series and the eo-creators are said to have been "overwhelmed" by the response to the show; it comes as no surprise then that a second series has been commissioned. While there may be no clue yet as to when the show will air Moffat has been dropping hints on key plot developments that Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson will encounter.

"Adler, Hound and Reichenbach" are all that has been given in the way of spoilers for the next series but this is more than enough to spark the interest of Sherlock Holmes fans. "Adler" refers to Ire ne Adler, considered to be Holmes' love interest played by Rachel McAdams in the recent Guy Ritchie film; "Hound" is of course a reference to The Hound Of The Baskervilles, perhaps the most famous of Conan-Doyle's stories; and finally "Reichenbach" is the location where Holmes and Moriarty have their final encounter. For the time being however, all there is to do is to eagerly await the next outing of Sherlock Holmes and his loyal Dr Watson into modern-day London . Helen Eaton

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u The notion of a Parliamentary Gaming Day is one that some of us may find conflicting, confusing and, well , just plain paradoxical. Any of the above responses lL are well justified when we consider the not-so-sweet history between videogames and Parliament within the UK (and let's not forget the media ... ). In the past couple of u years games and gamers have undergone (J) numerous attacks from politicians and the ::J mainstream media, and let's not forget L Alan Titchma rsh spouting off on teatime television about why videogames are "evil" ... (Yes Alan, you can take that old chestnut 0 and ram it up your hose pipe). Many, if not w al l, of these attacks have been dumb and cr. unfounded, delivering banal exclamations 3 about how videogames corrupt our children and warp the m inds of our pub lic into psychopaths, without pausing to review the industry for what it actually is - a valuable > cultural export and economic resource. 1-Parl iamentaryGaming Day, then , intends

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Another year, another Need for Speed. However this time Burnout developer Criterion is at the helm and they have created an experience that is somehow bot h unrecognisably, and irrefutably, Need for

Speed. Several changes have been made to the sta ndard formu la. They have been conce ived and imp lemented so well that it is difficu lt to know which is most significant addition. Firstly, along with the reintroduction of

to take a step towards abolishing the myths surrounding the games industry and shed some light on the positive facts and benefits of having a thriving games industry, where video games are accepted and promoted as ha ving cultural and educational worth . The event itself wi ll be hosted by Gamer's Voice in the coming weeks. Gamer's Voice was founded by Tom Watson MP on social networking site Face book back in November 2009, and the group ha s since gained support from various high profile news and media sources (BBC News and Eurogamer to name a couple ... ), not to mention a few gaming politicians and thousands of UK gamers; as the gamer's representative, it is only natural that Gam er's Voice are doing all they can to save and promote the industry. The short term goa ls of the event appear to be concerned with increasing the nation 's acceptance of gaming and the games industry by striking at the heart of the nation and its leaders - members of

police chases, comes the opportunity to actually play as the law enforcement. This is not just a gimmick tacked on; it is a full single pl ayer game mode which takes an equa lly important role as the racer mode. Both Racer and Cop elements can be progressed through independently and have a distinct fee l from one another as not to feel tiresome at any point. Predictably the police career involves taking out racers to end races, whilst your Racer career is largely made up of evad ing police and winning race s. Add to this special events for both; police -less races, and time tria ls for Racers and one on one battles and clean run time trials of police and there is enough variety to keep the game fresh. In both game modes there are certain upgrades availab le; EMP blasts, spike strips, road blocks etc that add a genuine depth to the game play; as you progress through the game the AI becomes uncannily clever and t he time ly use of t hese weapo ns can be the difference earning a gold award and completely failing an event. However the biggest addition to the

Parliament. If the opinions of Parliament can be altered, even slightly, then the moral acceptance of the gaming industry will be tenfold. Statements such as the Daily Mail' s classic mi sguided clanger of a head line 'Teenager gets life for 'Manhunt' murder' (following the sentencing of 17 year old murderer Warren Leblanc in 2003), although entirely unfounded - the courts denied any connection betw een the videogame Manhunt and the murder - have been severely damaging to the public's perception and acceptance of gaming in the UK, particularl y where Parliament are concerned. Altering this perception is perhaps the biggest battle that Gamer's Voice have on their hands, though it is by no means the onl y pressing issue. Once we put problems of percept1on aside, there are other notable issues surrounding the actual industry itself The first of these is last year's disappearance of the pro posed ta x relief for game developers; pre -election plan s to bring in ta x breaks for the industry were hyped up before being ditched in the emergency budget last summer, meaning that many celebrated publishers such as EA and Square Enix have had no choice but to minimise on their British investments . The UK no longer ranks in the top three largest game producers globally, though in the last fiscal year UK game development chipped in no less than obn to the British economy, and with successful British game developers such as Rare and Codemasters there is plent y of potential fo r future profit on big scale_ The possibility of a

tax break understandably ranks high on the agenda at Gamer's Voice. The other issue at hand here is that of the PEGI (Pan European Game Information) system and how an increased understanding of the ratings system in place could relieve negative criticism of the gaming industry from Parliament, and particu larly from parents. The PEG I system replaced a lot of national ratings systems w orldwide and utilises a code of conduct to which every publisher bound to the system is lega lly obliged to uphold . If parents and guardians, as wel l as retailers, are promoting and abiding by the PEGI system at every opportunity then there is no reason why videogames cannot be celebrated and embraced as a media for all ages, in the same wa y that film, music and literature span demographics and audiences of all ages. The menu is full for Gamer's Voice, and when the fabled Parliamentary Day does take place there are going to be some serious messages to push if it is to be a success for the industry. Getting MPs hands on with videogames and family friendly motion sensitiv ity (Kinect, Move, Wii ... have your pick) could be just what it takes to get the proverbial ball rolling again . Who know s7 This time next year we could be looking at tax breaks, gaming as an art form, and oh, is that Grandma mowing down zombies in Dead Rising 2 7 What can I say 7 She is old enough to play it after all ... DJ Turner

franchise is Autolog. Autolog is a very simple feature that automatically collects the times of your friends and presents them to you at perhaps every possible opportunity. On top of all this, at almost any time that you see a friend's race time you'll be only a button press away from challenging it . Even once you have won an event on sing le player Autolog gives you reason to keep on returning to one-up your friends in a way that, normally, only typical arcade games can. The on line it is astounding; it is fun without exception. Ultimately the same as single player but with the mayhem only other humans can de liver. it's so good it threatens to distract from the sing le player but autolog and unlocks mean you will happily flitter between the two. All this is we ll and good, the game is heavy on features and we ll varied but this is of course irrelevant if it isn't supported by strong gameplay. Thankfully this is perhaps where the game is at it 's strongest. Th e controls are perhaps initially jarring if you've been playing more realistic racers but they quickly begin to feel nat ura l; allowing you to

properly enjoy what the game has to offer. The best way to sum up this game is it is exciting. The sense of speed is amazing, when you hit boost the screen quivers, your controller rumbles and the sound roars as if you're taking off in a jet.. .a sensation that doesn't get old. At any given t ime in the game you will find yourse lf holding your breath and hoping. Hoping you dodge the road block, hoping your drift somehow maintains its impossib le balance. But the great thing is, whether or not you succeed; immediately afterwards you will want to turn around and tell someone what ju st happened. This excitement along with Autolog makes this the first game to truly define what an 'Arcade Racer' is. Mehul Saman i

-Fantastic On line play

-Juggling two careers can feel like progress is slow

18..JAN1D I I SS U E 250

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<INTERNET) Fun links to pass the time between socialising and learning. Show UsYourWeenis People posting pictures of their Weenises, you can even post a picture of your own! You may even learn a new term as a Weenis isn't something you hear about every day. Don't worry its safe for the library and the workplace, get your mind out of the gutter. www. buzzfeed. co m/mj ss38/show- usyour-weenis 30 Pictures of Cats saying 'Sup' Exactly what it says on the tin. People seem to have a built in fascination with cats and their day to day cat like activities. Heres a page full of cats just chillin' and saying heyyy. www.buzzfeed.com/peggy/3o-photos-ofcats-saying-sup We Are Hunted An online music chart website. A great place to discover new music and broaden your musical horizons. Currently displaying the top 99 emerging songs of the year this is definitely a site to keep safe on your bookmarks bar. http://wearehunted.com so YahooAnswers Fails In the vein of Failbook and Failblog, its a compilation of so of the most absurd YahooAnswers questions you have ever seen. Ranging from steaming genitals to Lazy eyes. www. fork party. com/so-yahoo-a nswersfails-stupid-questions/2/

For three days in January this year Las Vegas wasn't just host to innumerable z-list celebrities, Elvis impersonators and the infamous 'Sunset Strip'; no this January between the 6th and the 9th it was host to the worlds largest showcase of the technology of the future . The Consumer Electronics Show (orCES for short) has been running annually in Las Vegas for over 1.2 years and is always host to the technology worlds biggest announcements, reveals and it paints a vivid future of consumer electronics for the years to come. 2on was no different with over 2,700 technology companies taking part, including Microsoft, Audi, Ford, Samsung and Cisco Systems. This year didn't bring any of the big reveals from previous shows, such as BluRay or HDTV, but it did reveal over 2o,ooo products heading our way over the coming year. Some products obviously are made for a niche market, however the big hitters of the show demonstrated how their new tech will make everybody's lives easier, simpler and let us all have much more fun. Ford revealed their push towards

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electric cars that can be simply charged up at home. In contrast to other electronic cars Ford worked in conjunction with Microsoft to develop 'apps' for their cars. These applications allow the user to set their car to auto heat up for scheduled journeys (as with no combustion engine electronic cars don't warm up fast); it also allows the user to charge when electricity is cheapest, as the car works out when utility rates are at their lowest and thus charges economically. To go hand in hand with this is android phone app My Ford Mobile. This works as an indicator of how charged your car is, where the nearest charge stations are in relation to your car and if you have enough charge to make a planned journey. Sony was pushing its cloud based entertainment software Oriocity that runs across all Internet enabled Sony devices. So Sony lnternetTV's, PS3, PSP, Sony cameras, Blu-Ray players and so on . Oriocity allows the user to up load their music and pictures to the Oriocity server and then access it from any other Sony device . it means you could take a photo using your Sony camera and then instantly upload it so friends and family can access it across their devices without

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you having to take the time out to upload them and sort them yourself. Microsoft also showed off the capabilities of its newest Windows platform, albeit whilst still using the Windows 7 front end. it also showed that it supports System on-a-Chip (SoC) computers, meaning you can shrink a current motherboard down to smaller than the s1ze of mobile phones and still push out the same power of a top end laptop. Microsoft also showed of some new laptops being developed by third parties, such as an Acer lconia which has two touch screens for larger viewing and multitasking and a Samsung PC tablet running Wmdows 7 and toting a 9 hour battery life and full OWERTY keyboard. Finally Microsoft showed off the future for Kinect w1th full facial and body tracking, upping its previous semi-body tracking technology. CES 2on played host to fresh ideas and essential consumer technologies . Not even 2 weeks into the year and already 2on is shaping up to be spectacular. Vaughn Highfield

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Some of the best, most interesting or just downright funny people tweeting right now! @WilliamShatner This aging Star Trek captain is still as active as ever in his new TV series based on the twitter hit 'S**t My Dad Says'. His tweets range from deranged and comedic to plugging his new show. As always with Shatner, you just never know what your going to get. @serafmowicz British actor and comedian. He's been on almost every comedy panel show and had his own TV series of comedy sketches involving Brian Butterfield. Peter Serafinowicz is a modern comic genius and his tweets continually reflect his everyday comedic attitude.

Incase you wonde ul guys and gals haven' al ready noticed, us lovely folk here at Concrete now have our own brilliant Twitter page. Keep up to date on the breaking news and orthcoming features. Give us some love @concrete_UEA

Millions of people use Face book and those people join Facebook Groups in their droves. Here are a couple of emerging groups that you may have missed . Wanktastic Boasting the sentiment "EMBRACE THE WANK," private Facebook Group 'Wanktastic' promises a place for girls and boys to feast and froth over usersubmitted photographs. From what I can tell these photographs are of an explicit nature, though without requesting to join the group it is impossible to see what "froth-worthy" delights Wanktastic actually has to offer. If you enjoy 'Suicide Girls' (or guys), then 'Wanktastic' may be the Facebook group for you, just don't expect the niceties found elsewhere as it is clear from the page description that this is a damn vulgar place indeed. Pretty boys, geeks and cartoon men are all welcome at 'Wanktastic', so why not voyage into the unknown pleasures of this sordid realm and give the head count a much needed boost (because 83 members ain't worth SPAFF). lt seems the only thing they don't like at 'Wanktastic' are Biker Mice from Mars .... Do the whack off!

I love the innuendo in Harry Potter

As a nation there are two things we love: Harry Potter and Innuendo. As you've probably guessed from the title - 'I love the Innuendo in Harry Potter'this exciting Facebook group offers both in abundance . The page is made up of member-submitted comments and snippets of innuendo (my favourite might just be Ron Weasley telling Neville that he is "supposed to stroke it," though there is a lot of wand action going on too ... ), and with close to 36,ooo members there is plenty to chuckle at. The memories will come flooding back as you revisit old passages from the Harry Potter franchise, and they will take on new meaning right before your eyes. it's like, well, magic, and the group will certainly make you question what you thought you knew about J K Row ling, the randy wench. You might even fancy getting your own wand out and doing a spell of your own: this is saucy stuff. DJ Turner

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CCieaner Computer running slow? Emptied the recycle bin, removed some unwanted programmes but yet it still wont run fast anymore7 This is wh _ ere you need CCieaner. CCieaner goes through your files and deletes all unneeded temporary files from the Internet, goes into the depths of your computers registry and removes dead ends that slow the hard drive down . Simple and effortless to use, you can just set it up and leave it to do its thing and in minutes your computer should seem noticeably improved . Perfect for the tech savvy and even for those who are lost on computers, CCieaner is the must have tool for Windows 7 users. http://www. piriform .com/ccleaner/

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developer and creator of the Tron game . One night he simply vanishes without explanat1on and is never found - leaving his young son Sam behind. Fast-forward 20 years and Sam (Garrett Hedlund) wants little to do with the company his father created (sound familiar7). But one day his father's old colleague receives a message from Flynn 's old arcade; Sam investigates and inadvertently gets sucked into 'the grid' - a computer-generated world created by his father. Pra1se has to go to the designers of 'the grid' - a world illuminated by bands of coloured light. A pat on the back should also be given to the constructers

of the various fighting and chase scenes which include races between 'light' motorbikes and high speed aerial pursuits. The concept of having a disc wh1ch records your game play is also an intriguing one, and the blend of 2D and 3D adds another layer of visual interest to the film.

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enough IS made of th1s and the destructiveness of the search for a world without flaws lacks the punch it needs. You are also left with little idea of what Flynn's plan actually was and other big subjects such as God and genocide feel slightly marginalised. Questions about whether computerprogrammed people could actually escape to and exist in our world are also left unanswered. The result is a sadly predictable storyline which ends on a particularly corny note with the hero riding off into the sunset with the girl. Character-wise everyone plays their part - Sam is brave, impetuous and buff, Kevin is wise, old and lacking Initiative

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and Ouorra (O iivia Wilde) is doe -eyed and squeezed into an impossibly tight outfit. Michael Sheen also makes a brief, and overthe-top, appearance . This is about as far as character development goes, and although it is possible to argue that this is all the film requires, you can't help feelmg that the reunion of father and son could have been a little more dramatic. Whilst this film scores top marks for its imagery and action, it is undeniably dragged down by the weak story, generic characters and an overly long running time - points that prevent Tron Legacy from being as good as it could have been. Clai re Pr ice

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•• • The King's Speech could have been a damp squib with its potentially boring subject matter and the anticipation built by Oscar hype. However, for once the film lives up to the publicity. The film follows Bertie, also known as the Duke of York (Colin Firth) and his

struggles to perform public duties with his stammer. In desperation, his wife (Helena Bonham Carter) introduces him to speech therapist Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush) whose unorthodox techniques and frank manner help the prince to begin conquering his demons. Lionel's support becomes crucial when King

Edward VII I (Guy Pearce) abdicates, leaving Bert1e the throne just as war breaks out with Germany. What makes this film great is the sublime performances of both Firth and Rush, whose characters play and clash with each other perfectly. Their developing friendship and the gradual opening-up of Bertie to someone outside the family is engrossing, as is the insight into the life of a royal. With its added moments of hi larity, The King's Speech is fantastic entertainment; watch out for some copious swearing and fantastically timed comic acting from an infinitely accomplished cast . Both inspiring and emotional, in short: a real joy to watch. Cla ire Price

•••• With the vast playground of Blue John Canyon at his feet, the sheer pig -ignorant daredevil Aron Ralston is halted during his adventure by an unsuspecting boulder his lumbering awaiting arrival. Seeming like a trap which Saw's Jigsaw would be proud of, the character's mental and physical exhaustion leads him to drift into several hallucinogenic states. Character-driven plots are ones which director Danny Boyle is well accustomed to, allowing his mastery of filmmaking to explore the agonised state of a man facing certain death. The camera lingers uncomfortably on Ralston 's lowest moments

in the ravine featuring some gruesome scenes, but there IS no moment of raw expression where he finally reg1sters the concept of his fate in its entirety. This is probably down to the performance from James Franco who, accepting the burden of maintaining the interest as the film's sole main character, plays Aron with sheer determination not to be defeated, teetering between likeability and arrogance. Again Boyle seems to have raided his music collection, some welcome and some just cringe worthy, making the film both edgy and somewhat awkwardly sentimental, remmiscent of Slumdog A charmingly Millionaire. bizarre true story doing what it set out to do, but that is all. Pa ul M artin

of comic Adaptations books have become a trend within the film industry, and The Green Hornet is one which has been anticipated with a lot of nervous thoughts. Will it be a blockbuster or a total flop7 For this reviewer, the latter is true. The narrative was slow, over-done and at moments held too much arrogance and stubbornness that it simply didn't flow well. lt tried too hard and it looks like it too. If the special effects 1n this film could be set aside from the plot, one would definitely be astounded at how little there really is to the storyline. The Green Hornet

introduces so many moments of incredible effects that it is a shame the narrative falls short. Seth Rogan, who also wrote the script, played a character that is just like him in real life - it just didn't sit right within the rest of the film . What makes the film worse is the IMAX 3D aspect was not needed, and was also blurry and inconsistent too often throughout the film . All in all this is a film that will disappoint its comicbook fans; however, it may just be that those who like action movies for the sake of action scenes may enjoy it. But keep in mind that the narrat1ve IS pretty over-used and you may be bored in your seat minute s in to watch1ng 1t.

Sa ma ntha Roge rs

As far as Christmas films go, Rare Exports is a bizarre and unpredictable treat. Born from the cult success of two online shorts by director Jalmari Helander, Finland's highly anticipated present this holiday comes wrapped in a dark and enchanting fusion of fairytale, horror, and black comedy that definitely isn't suitable for all the family. On December 24th, an excavation team in the Korvatunturi Mountains unearth something old and deeply powerful from underground. Soon a local community find their livelihood destroyed and their naughty children

missing . it's left up to little bookwise Pietari and his father to save the day, strengthening their fatherson bonds and clinching an usual financial deal in the process. Walking a fine line between the disturbing and outright ridiculous (whoever wrote the English dub clearly had too much eggnog), Rare Exports keeps tensions high for a tight 82 minutes with slaughtered reindeer, evil elves and a mythical, horned St. Nick. it's a shame to see this impact lapse a little in the final moments, but at least there's a suitably wholesome Christmas ending to guarantee this film as a staple festive feature for years to come. Steph McKenna

Jack Black, the slimmer half of Tenacious D (it's true!), reprises the idiot-cumprankster routine that we've seen increasingly since his attempt to do a serious role in 2005's King Kong, in this comedy flick very loosely based on Jonathan Swift's book of the same title. The picture hangs together on a straightforward 'boymeets -girl- and-bettershimself' plot, though the main attraction is the star thumping his way through a variety of tiny villages. If you thought the regular Jack Black was irritating, just wait 'til you see the supersize Black overshadowing

an entire community of islanders, whilst burping out taglines like "President the awesome!" Even if you're Black's biggest fan, main problem with the film is the script, which even considering it's supposed to be a silly, child-friendly picture, isn't tight enough - pretty much all of Swift's commentary and satire is lost in favour of the standard big -era sh-wa 11 o p- smackfart-joke routine . Not being true to Swift's vision isn't in itself a major crime though, and not every scene fails - the odd movie spoof does work- but these are workmanlike in-jokes, and the film could have done with less stardust and more suspense. George Gilbert

The biggest challenge in the development of The Way Back must have been fitting such an epic journey into a feature length film. Based on a memoir written by Slavomir Rawicz depicting his journey from a gulag in Siberia across Asia and India to freedom, all by foot, the journey is certainly epic. Character development is slow but feels realistic by avoiding allowing the characters' sense of camaraderie to grow too easily. The film makes its impact through a series of subtle yet striking scenes depicting the deaths of four of the escapees. In one of

these scenes one of the men is found frozen to death just metres away from the camp fire, doomed by his night blindness However the most exciting element of The Way Back are the beautiful locations, especially the scenes in Siberia. The isolated and beautiful scenery serves as an incredible atmosphere to the transformation of the escapees from civilised people to primeval caveman-like animals willing to do anything to survive. Although this may not quite do justice to the original voyage due to its length restrictions The Way Back is a refreshing and captivating tale of a fantastic bid for freedom.

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•••••••••••••••••••• Alexandre Aja • ••Director: • •Release Date: 27/12/1o • •• ••• •• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •• Not for the faint of heart, Piranha relishes the chance to mix zombie-style theatrics with bikini bodies and obnoxious college students. If you missed out on the 3D version in the cinema then the 2D DVD version still makes a splash. Although not as charming as horror genius Joe Dante's original Piranha (1978), it is not without its own merits. Piranha (201o) has more gore, silly science and a lot more boobs. it's spring break and the quiet town of Lake Victoria is suddenly host to so,ooo drunk college students looking for some fun in the

•••••••••••••••••••• •Director: Jay Roach • ••• •Release Date: 4/1/11 • ••• Tim

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sun. Piranha lulls you into a false sense of security with a traditional trashy soft porn sub-plot and a fortunate/ unfortunate (depending on what you like) underground tremor releasing some very hungry piranhas intent on joining the party. The classic doughnut of death reappears and it's just as effective as in the original movie; thankfully with a bigger budget comes more extras so no repeat shots of injured swimmers reaching

the shore. Instead you are treated to many creative piranha wounds; look out for the girl being carried to shore between two guys. Fully enjoying the Jaws parody there is a moment early on in the film where the sheriff considers 'closing the lake .' You'll be pleased she didn't. Piranha acts as a tribute to the B movies of old and fully embraces the pure silliness of its plot. Kate Alien

an executive at a financial firm who gets invited to a 'dinner for schmucks' (literally a dinner for idiots) . The catch is he has to bring along a loony guest in order to get some recognition and a promotion on his job. He befriends Barry (Steve Carell) and convinces him to be a guest at the dinner while putting his love interest on the line, resulting in a series of unfortunate events. Probably the worst 'comedy' released this year, Dinner for Schmucks sacrifices every comical

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opportunity for screwball excess. The outcome is painfully unfunny at best and irritating at worst. Watching the film you can't help but wonder what's worse - the acting or the plot7The only time a laugh is somewhat induced is when confusion abounds during the dinner, at the height of the story. However, as with this remake, Hollywood ends up presenting the story in a disjointed manner that is neither understandable

nor humorous to the viewer. Comedies (or screwball comedies) are not meant to be confusing and uncomfortable; they're meant to be seasoned enough to produce laughter and enjoyment. Don't bother investing your money in this film for your DVD collection; you won't even watch it through before removing the DVD from your player and disposing of it! Lathaniel Dyer

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l) The return of Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides sees Johnny Depp reprise his ro le as Captain Jack Sparrow. Audiences wi ll be glad to know that Penelope Cruz stars alongside Depp in what is said to be the most exciting film yet in the series. Everyone can look forward

to this film since we all know the Pirates films never fail us. Depp is an amazing thespian and one of few Hollywood stars that masks himself convincingly behind the character he plays. 2) M ichael Bay returns with his third film 1n the series, Tranformers: Dark Moon. More robot action

mayhem, saving the planet and lovelife problems are in store for Shia LaBoeuf, who returns as Sam Witw icky. The upcoming film promises to be a commercial success (no doubt) and though the sequel (Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen) amassed over $8oom worldwide, it was a failure with critics. lt will be interesting to see how this episode fairs in the series so far. 3) Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 the final part of the seventh instalment 111 the series sees Harry (Daniel Radcliffe) Ron (Rupert Grint) and Hermione (Emma Watson) frantically race against time

to stop Lord Voldermort (Ralph Fiennes) by locating and destroying the remainder Horcruxes. Fans will be kept on the edge of their seat in this series finale which brings the franchise to a close after a decade' 4) Scream 4 - after n odd years Neve Campbell steps back into her role as Sidney Prescott, the girl infamously haunted by ghostface killers. Its 2on though, the catch' lt is a new decade which means new rules, with a new killer on the loose. Hold your breaths and prepare for more tension, drama, slashing and slaying . Courteney Cox Arquette also returns as the

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The Good, The Bad And The Ugly. Once Upon A Time In The West. Once Upon A Time In America. These are the names of three of some of the most famous and greatest films of all time. Follow this with a simple name . Sergio Leone. Does

it ring any bells' lt is not a name w ith as much fame > as Steven Spie lberg, Peter 1- Jackson or Martin Scorsese, yet it is the name of one of the greatest and most eccentric directors. These t!J three film titles listed above z are the sole product of this I- truly great mind. The Good, The Bad And

The Ugly and Once Upon A Time In The West most conclusively show how magnificent a director Leone was. Here was an Italian with a mostly Ital ian and Spanish cast, filming in Spain, taking the aii-American Western which up until then had been dominated by the likes of John Ford and John Wayne, and creating the two greatest films of the entire genre and perhaps even be the only two that are truly remembered by the public today. Let's face it, apart from Americans and fans of Westerns how many people have heard

of The Big Country, or The Searchers' Sixteen years after the release of Once Upon A Time In The West, in 1984, Once Upon A Time In America was released at the Cannes Film Festival and, after a staggering 229 minutes, the audience as one rose and, according to one reviewer, received

~ THE PoPCORN CHART 1<(

Clash of the Titans

w lt appears Sa m Worthington a: will ride the CGI gravy train 0 for as long as he can. The Clash of the Titans remake nonsense script was welded (I) together by various Greek 1- mythologies bursting out of a: the 3D screen and Gemma <t: Arterton demi-goddess good looks. Empathy with any of the characters was z impossible, especially in o Worthington deliverance of one of the most I (I) embarrassing inspiration <( speeches of cinema. Well at u.. least the cast of the Skins haven't joi ned the job-

seekers queue yet.

Rob1n Hood The 20lO epic which sought to correct historical misconceptions about our favourite hero in tights was like a nagging overproduced 01. Russell Crowe failed on pinn ing down an authentic

of Robin portrayal Longstride as his accent sktrted from Yorkshire, to Lancashire, to Ireland. While the effort lessly stoic Elizabeth I was resurrected in Cate Blanchet's rendit ion of Maid Marian. Both Oscar sporting actors appeared to be in films of their own, bugger the rest of the cast. No sexual chem1stry, no comedy, no fun for over two hours.

Transfo rmers 11 Megan Fox running. That's all this film had to boast. So

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overbearing journalist Gale Weathers and close friend and Sheriff Dewey Riley (David Arquette) eo-star.

6) Spy Kids -This may be a definite no no for readers but it has to be included since many may like Spy

5) Tom Cruise is cruising across our cinema screens at the end of 2on with Brad Bird's (The lncredibles) direction of Miss10n:lmpossible - Ghost Protocol. Cruise returns as agent Ethan Hunt to track down terrorists and maintain justice.

Kids- about 7Years ago. Juni (Daryl Sabara) and Carmen (Aiexa Vega) are back to aid in more espionage and they've grown up in the process' The fourth action adventure also sees Jessica Alba join the Spy Kids ensemble.

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a fifteen minute standing ovation. Such actions speak for themselves. Through the Dollars Trilogy, of which The Good, The Bad And The Ugly is the final part, Leone turned a simple TV actor into a global superstar who, ever since has both starred in, and directed a horde of great movies and

still to this day is regarded as a true Hollywood legend; Cltnt Eastwood. it was Leone who took Eastwood from relative obscurity and turned him into a superstar, and even after his death in l989, Leone's influence over Eastwood could still be seen, dedicating The Unforgiven (one of Eastwood's best films) to him Through each film that Eastwood made, Leone's Influence still guided him. Even in his latest film, Gran Torino, Clint Eastwood's character IS merely a manifestation of the character he first played under Leone; the tough,

grizzled loner with a kind heart. The true testament to Leone's greatness comes mostly, not through his great movies, but from the fact that he worked on only ten films during his life, directly directing only seven of them, Leone's success record is greater than even Spielberg's or Scorsese's. it is here that the greatness of Sergio Leone becomes abundantly clear and even though his death 22 years ago, his legacy lives on through the brilliance of his films.

Don't want to waste hours of your lifr7 This issue CATHERINE W A ns grvcs a run down of five films you should not wast your money on .. . from those of us who aren't hormone -driven boys that like to play with gadgets alone 111 their rooms, can we have something a bit more entertaining for our cinema ticket please'

face' Knightley and Bloom was dragged for every out penny. How the producers

Pirate s of the Cetribbean Seq uels The familiar cast returned with more brain less fun , confused island hopping narratives, and blandness all around, Jack Sparrow excepted. The tedious plot ploy of 'will they won't they' between Keira 'piranha-fish

turkeys of all time live with themselves' Shameless.

rhe Last Atrbemlet The latest produce from M. Night Shyamalan depicted bender nation of fire and

water warpers struggling for control of their world. The centre character, Aang, awkwardly named the Avatar, delivers a performance that would merit a bitch-slap from the Dalai Lama. While the rest of the cast consists of Mickey Mouse Club rejects donning bed sheets practicing taichi. Highlights include Katara, a precocious water bender, telling Aang to keep h1s wrist limp while they dance to the backdrop of computer generated glaciers What happened Shyamalan, seriously'

BRMC: You have been releasing your own albums on and off since you left your old label back in 2004. How are you finding the creative freedom? We 've really been doing it since day one, you know, we've been produc ing ourselves . And you know, first record, a lot of that stuff was done in our living room really. So .. .no big change really, you know, it's the same stresses even though we were on a major label, and we get the same shit. They were wanting to drop us because it didn't sound the way they wanted it to sound . Well we don't have to worry about that too much now [laughs] . Would you say there is anything different about touring in the UK to touring in the US, maybe in the fans?

No, not really. People are people, you know? I mean, as a culture, yeah ... kinda, sorta a little bit. People are a bit more free over here to be, uh ... [laughs] I dunno, don't take this the wrong way, but ... people are more free to be an idiot. They have fun, as far as ... having a drink, having a good fucking time . In the States it's a bit more reserved, it's still got this Quaker bullshit thing where, you know, you're embarrassed to drink . Which is silly.. .you always gotta keep yourself in control somehow. That's not everywhere; it's not always. But it's a little bit more free

over here for that kinda fun . A little less

ashamed of being a fool. Do you think your latest album is a long way from your early work or do you deal with similar themes that still resemble BRMC at heart? Yeah, it 's all sim ila r themes : love, death, god ... that's about it [laugh s]. Even the recording style has been the same since day one, the way we put ourselves in the closet for 6 months and just write . Along the way, you start getting a little paranoid that you 're repeating yourself, you know, with the sound . But it's just music. lt's nothing .. .! got no shame with being satisfied with guitars, and drums, and bass, and vocal. lt doesn't have to be all tricked up with something that's all fantastically new. I've yet to hear it. Sound or not, I'm not particularly interested in a particular sound, I'm just trying to write a good song, you know7 No matter what; on acoustic guitar, on piano, on electric guitar. That's all that really matters at the end of the day. And the hope is that it touches somebody and gives someone just something, you know? A lot of bands share that similar vision of writing and music because they love it, and at the same time there is the wider hope that someone enjoys what they're w riting.

BLACK REBEL MoTORCYCLE CLuB

I think, art comes from a place of want . And at its best that want is just to connect with humanity : at its best on a deep level. At its worst on a bullshit level. And there's plenty of that [laughs] . But yeah, I dunno, maybe I'm being too harsh, maybe that level isn't necessarily bullshit, it's just different. I can't throw it away as bullshit, I shouldn't do that. And ... it's all valid . Kind of. [Laughs] To end with, if you had to sum up the band in three words to someone who's never heard your music, how would you describe BRMC? The only way I describe it is psychedelic rock and roll . That's four words, ifthe 'and' is part of it. Psychedelic rock, and the roll is the most important part, it really is. There's plenty of rock out there, but people gotta remember the ...the good bit. The roll, that's the sex bit [laughs] ... anyway, I shouldn't have to explain it, if you know roll you either get it or you don't.

GIG REPORT BY LIZ JACI<SON, If the response of the crowd was the sole means to gauge a gig by then the recent show by BRMC would go down as legendary. Entering the stage in mysterious pitch - black they opened with the

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Conducer, making it known that they weren 't simply scattering a few chords but were about to blow the minds of everyone in the building like a six barrel shotgun. BRMC's mastery over their craft is simply awe-inspiring, as was the energy they put into the entire two hour set; remarkable considering this was another night in the 1.49-date tour. Songs like High/Low brought tear-inducing distortion that felt like BRMC were breaking the walls of sound and burning down everything in their paths. Conversely, acoustic interludes were executed in such a profoundly fragile way that the piano keys could have crumbled from underneath Robert

Peter Hayes in a rare, candid moment. In case you didn't guess, he's pretty rock and roll .. .

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hands as he played Promise . This was not just a set list that had been arranged for a mix of the heavily-fretted psych-rock of Red Eyes and Tears, Whatever Happened and Conscience Killer.

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down-beat Americana of Beat the Devi/'s Tattoo and Ain't No Easy Way; the band were in control of every riff, every pause and every shockwave that they forced out of their guita rs and in the relentless thump of the drums. Everything built up into an overpowering trip, from the intonation of the band's drawling denunciations to the bleeding, raw energy in Peter Hayes' bass . lt felt like they had taken every song from their entire career and put it into one continuous and universal primal howl. Even by the close of the second encore of Shadow's Keeperthe audience were hanging on every post-apocalyptic, resounding note that composed a powerful farewell as these prophetic rebels brought their truth in an explosion of sound and then receded into the darkness from which they came. Watchi ng it was being part of an eye opening, psychedelic,mind-distorting experience that can't even be expressed fully in wo rds. That's why they put it into music.

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RESOLUTIONS 1

NAME: KINGS oF LEoN

RosE CLARI< SAYS MAN

temperaments, trendy haircuts and a wardrobe of grey clothes. They stropped their way through Reading Festival 2009 and their new album Come Around Sundown has as much electricity as an energy saving l1ght bulb . This has to stop. 2011 must bring back the kind of music seen in Aha Shake Heartbreak, effusing Deep South tension with heavy, melodic riffs, songs that haunt your eardrums for hours after listening. They must leave the1r celebrity lifestyles and model girlfriends, do an Arctic Monkeys and head into the desert to be whipped into shape by Josh Homme. Failing that, perhaps a spell roughing it in

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the wilderness with Bear Grylls would do the trick. One final, and very important point, never, ever make a music video like Radioactive again. Dancing around with children, spraying them with hoses, teaching them how to fish; qu1te possibly the cringeiest music video ever produced that wasn't for charity. Burn every copy ever made, take 1t off online, sack everyone involved, pay the children damages. If Kmgs have any chance of a clean start, they must wipe vacuous, cheesy videos like this off the face of the earth and start again, as hairy, whiskey drinking men.

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First things first, bring back the hair. The untameable mops that obscured the young Kings' faces, with heavy beards to match, marked a lot that was right about their early years. This may sound trivial, but their awesome appearance signified a few things: an indifference to fashions of the time, their heavy rock influence and their status as proper men. Men who wouldn't have cared if bird excrement covered them on stage (as it did during their 20~0 tour, causing them to cancel the St Louis gig after three songs.) In fact, we like to

think that the Kings of Leon of the past, rugged appearance and all, would've done the same as a caveman with musical talent and good aim would have done, caught the birds with a swing of his guitar and let the show go on. And herein lies the main resolution for the Kings of Leon: gentlemen, man up. After three amazing, brawny, testosterone rich albums, Only By The Night marked a new era. Sex On Fire was played at the end of Mercy nights for months, a sure sign that they were doing something wrong. Success brought new

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New Year's resolutions shouldn't usually be taken too seriously. They're like saying you'll never dnnk again mid-hangover or promising to scrap tuition fees before an election. They don't last. Sadly, the same was true for the 'daytime takeover' at Radio l. For the first week of 2011, and for one week only, the Radio ~ daytime schedule was run by night-time DJs, reminding us that change can be a good thing. At present, Radio~ operates a restrictive playlist system. Every week a team of musically minded boffins assemble to decide which songs will gain regular rotation on daytime shows. If a track makes the A-list, it can expect to receive around twenty plays a week and can stay on one list or another for up to two months. Night-time DJs are exempt, bringing individual tastes to the takeover, not just the repetitive commercial playlist. Radio l has a tendency to revolve around the chart, but why should it' The number one s1ngle for any given week can be heard everywhere. With eleven million l1steners a week, should the station not be opting for a more well rounded, all inclusive approach to

CHRIS CORBY SAYS SCRAP THE PLAYLIST'

its schedule? Why is it that any track deemed 'alternative' is banished to the later hours? The daytime takeover gave a glimpse of the station that Radio ~ should be: the best music, regardless of chart success. Its purpose is to attract the ~5-29 demographic with new music, but 'new' should not always be confused with 'good'. Radio ~ concentrates too heavily on what is popular that day, the playlist always highlights this. Some of the best artists have been and gone. Almost 25 years have passed since The Smiths but is there not three minutes in the full three hour Chris Moyles Show to find room for them? Zane Lowe did. This is why the daytime takeover was a blessing. With Lowe exchanging Moyles and Mac replacing Cotton, l1steners were g1fted with unusual musical gems that would never have gained airtime otherwise. Without straying too far from message, specialist DJs proved that the playlist is an unnecessary barrier that restncts good mus1c from being broadcast. Ch1nese New Year is February 3rd, who's for a repeat'

APPARENTLY OUR FAVOURITE ARTISTS DIDN'T READ THE 'MosT DISAPPOINTING ALBUMS' FEATURE WE RAN IN ISSUE

#2 AND

TO THEIR SENSES IN

HAVE CONTINUED TO MAKE FOOLISH DECISIONS, WE All HOPE THEY FINALLY COME

20 11

AND FOLLOW THE RESOLUTIONS VENUE HAS SUGGESTED ...

Th ey say that all good things must come to an end. it's a se ntiment that Robert Plant sh ares, which is a bit of a bugger really. The former Led Zeppelin front-man's recent comments in Rolling Stone magazine that equate reuniting old with his band mates to "a pain pisser" pretty much definitively quashed any lingering hope that the group's oneoff 02 gig back in 2007 wouldn't be their swan song. To be honest, Planty is probably right .

After all, a geriatric Zeppelin farting around on stage in 2011. with all the energy of a modern day MickJagger sans respirator probably wouldn't endear to their longstanding reputation as the masters of hard and heavy. That doesn't mean that we here at Venue like it though . Yes, Plant is speaking with all of the world weary logic that an elder statesman should . Yes, it's time for Jimmy Page to stop hiding behind past glories and bring out that long rumoured solo album. But since when was rock and roll ever about doing what you're supposed to? The Beatles should

,N AME: LJAM GALLAGHER Oi! Liam! We all know how much you love to brag at the annual Gallagher Christmas brawl about all the cigarettes, alcohol and coke that you've been snorting off some cheap hooker's arse and how MASSIVE all your choons are, but we all really think you should give up the post go's Oasis charade and grow up. Think about it, you're just getting older, roll with it. While you might have slipped inside the beady eye of your mind for long enough to decide to stop flogging the dead horse that Oasis had become, continuing your age old feud with your brother in just about every press outlet that you can get hold of (You'd slag him off in Concrete if you had half the chance) is getting a bit irksome . Face it, Noel wrote all of the good music anyway. it's not that we aren't still all scared of you, but Beady Eye is a properly weak name for a properly weak band . If we

wanted to listen to second rate John Lennon revivalism, then we'd just put on a cack John Lennon album . What's more, John Lennon, even at his mid-seventies worst, would never have launched an overpriced clothing line of t-shirts that Topman wouldn't wipe their arses with . That's hardly what your faithful Mancunian militia have been crying out for in the years since Be Here Now found its way into the bargain bins of history, is it? Yes Liam, for many of us you were the snarling voice of a generation, but that time, we're afraid,

never have released Sgt. Peppers, lggy Pop should never have smeared his chest with peanut butter on stage; that doesn't mean it didn't bloody work! Besides, its 2011 for god's sake. Isn't 6o supposed to be the new 30 or something? If nothing else, you could be an inspiration to middle aged men (and Venue editors) the world over. Robert Plant's New Year's resolution should be to learn to age disgracefully. Bring back the leather trousers, the floral shirts and the chest beating, "golden god" frontman antics. We're not going to think less of you for it Rob, we promise . After all, we wouldn't want you to go gently into the good night when you've still got a 'whole lotta love' to give.

While the Grammys are lovely Rob, we liked the floral shirts better...

WE ALL SAY 'GROW

Up'

has come to an end . Plus, with Man City's new executive boxes catering for exactly the type of overpaid, middle-aged oik that you 've become, you've got something to do with your weekends; take a page out of your own book, save some shred of dignity and embrace the importance of be ing idle .

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18JAN11 ISSUE 2~0 ,..

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So, as you should have read in the Features section, this issue is the 25oth instalment of Concrete 1 We thought it would be appropriate then to take some time to look back across the nineteen illustrious years to the first few issues of your wonderful student paper. Now, University news may have come and gone, local events have taken place and Norwich sport has wa xed and waned but it can't be denied that musically, Norwich has remained one of the most exciting places to be a student since that distant year of 1992. Take the picture left into consideration; the all reigning master of music and much missed king of the airwaves Sir John Peel reading the soth issue of our paper. Then think back to Freshers' week, who was it that came and DJ'd at UEA, oh yeah 1t was Zane Lowe, Mr Peel's prodiga l son. Which ot her Universities can quite comfortably claim a mus1cal heritage as rich as our apparently iso lated campus7 Not many that's who I In the first ever issue of Concrete, music took up a quarter of the front page . A full doub le spread sporting the head line "From Hickstown to Hitstown" brought in

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the news that the Waterfront was to host Sound City '92; the first ever Radio 1 week long live broadcast, airing 7 different bands on 7 different nights across the nation. This was a record breaking achievement and the implications were huge. Not only was the Waterfront, which hit financial turmoil in 1993 (credit Beth Wyatt), saved

by the UEA Student Union as an importan t site of local culture, but that man John Peel popped up again and, removing any doubt f rom the years before, firm ly placed Norwich on the musical map. "Norwich will echo to the rhyt hms of Sound City '92" is what he sa1d. Too bloody right is what we say.

Senior Resident Vacancies

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~ Building on the best features of the Resident Tutor syst em, th e Dean of Students' Office w ill be introducing new arrangements for enhancing the

..._ experience of students in UEA residen ces in September 2011. Th e Dean of Students' Office is now seeking to recruit enthus iastic, mature and capable people to form the new Senior Resident team .

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Senior Residents will play a key role in the we lcome and induction of new students and support their tran sition to un iversity life . Working closely with staff in the Dean of St udents' Office, they will deliver high quality advice, guidance and support to students living in residences and facilitate the development of a well -integrated residential community.

<! During t eaching periods, Senior Residents will provide a duty system which guarantees that residents can access help and support out of hours and at weekends; more w a: limited cover is provided during vacations.

Senior Residents will be provided with rent-free, self-contained accommodation and will receive comprehensive induction and in -service training . The role will be both challenging and rewarding, and represents an excellent personal and professional development opportunity. (I)

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Appl icants must, in September 2011, be registered at UEA either as a full-time student or, if part-time, be registered on a degree program for at least 50% of full-time. App lication packs are avai lable from the Dean of Students' Office or can be down loaded from www.uea.ac.uk/services/students/Accomm/SR. Senior Resident appointments are subject to a criminal record check from the Criminal Records Bureau.

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ntE NEW YEAR BRINGS NEW ntEMES TO ntE LCR As we find . ourselves at the beginning of a New Year, it would only be fitting to see some fresh new themes on our Tuesday night LCR calendar, intermingle with some old favourites; so Venue will be giving its readers a low down of the exciting themes coming this Spring term. Possibly the most exciting theme of the term, worthy of first mention would be the event taking place on Tuesday 15th of-February: A Night at Hogwarts. No, your eyes do not deceive you, the genius' at The Union have dedicated路 one whole night to the revolution that is Harry Potter. Wands at the ready, it's time to don your finest robes, fill your glass with Butterbeer and pretend, for one night only, that everyone doesn't dislike Emma Watson quite a lot. With countless costumes idea to choose from;

anything from Harry to Hedwig, Snape to the Sorting Hat or Neville to a Nimbus 2ooo, this theme really doesallowforthemore imaginative of you to show us your skills. For any reader who does not share this writer's passion for all things magical, then orie of the other new themes this term might suit the pallet. After a poll was conducted on the social networking sight Facebook, giving students the chancetovoteforwhichthemethey would like the most on the Spring Term calendar. Some suggestions were "Anything But Clothes", "Traffic ~ights" and "Pub Names", but the runaway winner, scheduled to take place on Tuesday 29th of March is the all new Masquerade LCR. Mysterious and glamorous, this theme calls for masks and your best outfits; a refreshing change from the usual carnage of Tuesday

LCR's. In fitting with the annual UEA Charity Week, a Charity Shop LCR has been arranged for the 15th of March. The aim of this theme is to construct an entire outfit, exclusively from buys from a charity shop. Prizes will be awarded for the best attempts at creating an outfit. A conversely controversial theme, previously banned by the University but back by popular demand is the infamous Pimps N Ho's. Ladies, think "Jodie Marsh" and you'll be heading in the right direction. Gentlemen, dust off your purple velvet jackets and polish your grills, nothing is too much forth is theme!

Georgina Wade

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Engli sh alternati ve rockers White Lies will be playing the LCR on the 6th of February. With lyri cs that ache w ith unsettling intensity and dramatic, sodomizing guitar riffs, they have rightful ly earn ed their place in the pantheon of contemporary indie band s. During their infamou s li ve performances the crowd unite beneath a banner of sperm and sweat, connect ing like some mad dai sy-c hain of excess to dan ce beneath a cascading ka leidoscope of their own bodi ly fluids . For a chance of winning a pair of tickets to th 1s org iastic musica l experience, j ust bring your completed crossword to the Concrete Office by 3Pm on 04/02/u.

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Ja n u a ry 2 o 11

Welcome to Rabbit The Union of UEA Students' newsletter. In this edition find out about: •

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Your 4 Priority Ca mpa igns; Fight Fees & Education Cuts, Hungry for Fe ed back, Gradu ation Re location and Better Buses & Car Parking What your elected Student Officers have been up to The SSF Faculty Convenor Elections Derby Day International Party The Union Awards Student Officer Elections 2011

Look out for the Home Run pullout in this edition of Concrete and check out the housing list online at ueastudent.com/ haus..::::.

SSF Faculty Convenor Elections This semester we ore having a by-election for the Faculty Convenor position in the Social Sciences Faculty. Faculty Convenors work to represent you on various University School and Faculty level boards in regard to your academic experience whilst at UEA. The campaigning for the election begins on the 20th of January, with voting beginning on January the 22nd and ending on January the 25th. Keep on eye out for publicity and the candidates during this period. SSF students wil l receive an email about the online voting system from su.vote ~ ueo.oc.uk when the voting begins . This emoil will contain a link through to the voting website. The candidates ore:

Gemma Devenish Gemma is a second year psychology student who is an active member of several clubs and societies and works in the Union Food Outlet. She also works os a student ambassador. Gemma promises to secure "decent feedback" for you , get regular "drop in sessions" mode available and lobby against "ambiguous assignment and examina tion questions." For more information about Gemma, contact her on G.Devenish :ยง'ueo.oc.uk or find her on Focebook.

RON (Re open nominations) RON is a candidate in all Union elections. Vote for RON if you do not feel that any of the candidates that hove put themselves forward ore right for the job. For more information contact Donny Keillor on union.ethics@ueo.oc.uk

Derby Day

Elections

2011

Derby Day 2011 is coming! The 23rd of March 2011 will see UEA compete with Essex University in up to 50 sports. Whether you are a competitor or a spectator, make sure you get involved in the Derby Day fun, which is os much a celebration of sport and our University experience os about competition.

2011

The Union is here for all students, so here is your chance to decide who should help run it! Every year your Student Officers are elected before Easter. There are 4 full time officers & 13 part time officers, for more information on all the positions check out ueostudent.com/ voice/elections You con vote in the elections between 24th and 29th March. Nominations open on 21st February, you can collect a nomination form from Union House Reception or download it from ueostudent.com/voice/elections

Emoil union.finonceQ\ ueo.ac.uk for more information and join the Focebook group "Derby Day 2011"

International Party As part of the Union's Go Global Week, International Party brings together a huge range of the Union's clubs and societies in one actionpacked event. There will be food provided by societies from Indian to Greek, and performances from Doncesport to Thai Society. lt' s one of the most interesting nights on campus, and on event that you definitely shouldn't miss!

The Union Awards is scheduled for Tuesday 29th March! The Awards is the chance to get recognised for all the hard work you put in to making the experiences of other students across UEA the best it con be. The Awards is on evening where we will be announcing the winners of the Union elections & awarding all the students at UEA who hove completed the Union Volunteer scheme. it's easy to get nominated. From being on active society & sports club member, running them through a committee or volunteering your time elsewhere. Simply fill out a nomination form available from The Union House Reception. Nominations are open now until 15th March. If you are interested in completing the Volunteer scheme it is not too late! Simply go http:/ /www.ueostudent.com/volunteer and follow the instructions.

Fight Fees

& Education Cuts

We worked hard lost term and convinced Simon Wright MP for Norwich South to vote against a rise in tuition fees. UEA put on coaches so that students were able to attend the Notional Demonstration on November lOth without incurring their own costs. This resulted in Norwich taking ll coaches down to London; more than any other University city in the East of England. it's January already and that means your Student Officers ore half way through their term in office. For full information on what they hove been up to during the lost term see the autumn update which you con find at ueostudent.com Looking forward , this term your Student Officers ore working hard on putting on a range of different events for students, for more details see within. We ore also working hard on your priority campaigns; here ore some of the highlights ...

This term we will be looking at the Higher Education white paper being proposed by the government and working with Simon Wright to influence its content. If you wont to help out get in contact via union.communityQ'ueo. oc.uk

Graduation Relocation

Better Buses & Car Parking

Hungry for Feedback

At the end of lost term we toured several potential venues, and this term we ore canvassing student opinions on each venue vs congregation hall - Keep on eye out for us around campus and let us know your opinion!

Whether it's buses or cars, cycling or walking, everyone has to make their way onto campus . So many of these methods of transport hove room for improvement. The transport campaign focuses on bus connections, working with local companies, and parking on campus.

Currently, the University has no policy on giving students feedback on the exams they take over the course of their degree. After sitting on exam, the University doesn't hove to give students any more information about how they did, other than a mark. The Union believes that the detailed feedback students receive for coursework should be extended to exams so that it is clear how they con improve.

If you wont to get involved contact Donny Keillor on union.ethics,gueo.oc.uk

The campaign relies on students feeding in their issues , problems and concerns with transport, either via our 'Transport Tales' Focebook event, by text (07880797360), or by emoil (union. community@ueo.oc.uk) .

Our campaign will focus on collating evidence from institutions where exam feedback is given and proving the benefits to students that this provides. lt will also aim to pressure the University from within each school, through student representatives and at a Fa culty level. If you ore interested in getting involved contact us by emoiling union.ocodemic O'ueo.oc .uk