Connected Caregiving Spring 2022

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Welcome to the second edition of Connected Caregiving. We wanted to start by saying, thanks for being here!

So, you might be wondering, who’s behehind Connected Caregiving?

Kerra-Lee Wescombe: Publisher / Editor / Sales

Kerra-Lee is a Mama, first and foremost. In her spare time (LOL), she is also the Director at Connect.Ed. Having worked with children for 10+ years, she has had a broad range of experience; initially providing therapeutic residential care for children and young people within the child protection system. She has since worked in a consult ing role, supporting various early childhood education and care (ECEC) and Out of Hours School Care (OSHC) services to better understand children’s behaviours, with a particular focus on implementing trauma-informed practice.

After completing a handful of degrees in child development (including Psychology, Education and Therapeutic Child Play), the idea for Connected Caregiving magazine was born shortly after her son, Harlem. When speaking with other new par ents, Kerra-Lee became aware that they were overwhelmed with (often conflicting) information on parenting. The idea was to bridge the gap (ahem, connect) parents and the ECEC sector.

Enter Connected Caregiving magazine ... a FREE, reliable source of evidence-based information.

Nicola Vozzo: Content Manager / Designer

Nicola currently works alongside Kerra-Lee at Connect.Ed. She is a jack-of-all-trades, working as a Child Development Prac titioner, as well as overseeing graphic design and resource development.

Nicola’s background is in Psychology, where she specialised in Infant Mental Health. She has been working with parents, families, ECEC Educators and teachers for almost a decade, sharing her knowledge on child development, child protec tion as well as the importance of play and inclusion.

Her design background is somewhat new; born out of necessity while living overseas during the pandemic (and a very long lockdown). A second-hand iPad and YouTube tutorials meant a self-taught artist could find a creative outlet in a chaotic world. She began selling digital commissions to pay her rent (where there’s a will, there’s a way, right?) and the rest is history!

We started this magazine because we wanted a space that connected, supported, validated and educat ed caregivers of all different types all over South Australia. We hope between these pages you feel inspired, curious and rejuvenated, ready to get back out there and keep doing all the amazing work you’ve been doing, day in and day out. Every child needs a champion and we’re so happy they’ve got you.

Kerra-Lee

who are caregivers?

Parents, Guardians, Educators, Teachers, Support Workers. ..or any adult in a caregiving role! Connected Caregving Magazine recognises that our readers are unique.

We also recognise that all families are unique.

Start in the middle. Slowly breathe in as you follow the arrows and trace your finger down the right side. As you reach the middle, slowly breathe out while you trace the top with your finger. Keep breathing until you feel your mind and body relax.

fussy eating

What is fussy eating?

Fussy eating is actually a normal part of toddler de velopment. It is an “umbrella term” used to describe a broad range of eating characteristics. This could include food selectivity (avoiding certain foods or food groups), sensory issues, a genuine disgust in food or fear of eating. Medical issues (such as iron deficiency) can also influence appetite and intake.

Fussy eating can result when babies and young children are not given the opportunity to regularly get messy with food – touching tasting and smelling a variety of foods and textures. Often, when parents get stressed about our child’s food intake, it can make the situation worse.

The mum guilt…

It can be incredibly stressful as a parent to have a fussy eater and have battles every mealtime. Mums can feel overwhelmed, confused, frustrated and often crushes our confidence. Many mums I work with also feel huge “mum guilt” and worry about their child not eating well enough. They worry that their child won’t be getting everything they need to thrive.

The good news is that often fussy eaters still grow to their full potential because they often eat good

amounts of carbs and dairy ie. “the white foods”. The main issue here is that they sometimes lack some of the nutrients they need such as iron, zinc and other vitamins.

Do they grow out of it?

Fussy eating is something that can certainly be im proved over time, but it most definitely is a journey or “work in progress” rather than a quick fix.

Competent eaters can take years to develop and this is completely OK. Children don’t need to be eating a complete range of all the fruit and vegetables by age 8, but they do need to at least be eating some different colours (important from a nutritional perspective). We need to look at the big picture and remember that over their first 18 years, children learn a lot about all different aspects of life and food is no different – it takes time.

Do parents’ own eating behaviours play a role in a child’s eating behaviours?

Absolutely! It’s crucial that good role modelling occurs. We, as parents, need to eat with our children as much as possible and, by doing so, we can teach them how to enjoy healthy wholesome food. When children see the rest of the family happily enjoying healthy food, they are much more likely to trust the food and want to eat it too!

Top tips for parents with fussy eaters:

1. Stop talking about food and remove all food pressure. I encourage parents to include a variety of foods on their plate – some that you know they will accept (safe foods) and others that you want them to try (put a smaller amount on the plate).

2. Offer them healthy foods throughout the day. Young children have small tummies; therefore, snacks can provide up to 50% of their nutrition. Dinner is only one fifth or sixth of their day, so if they don’t eat all their vegies at dinner, it’s no big deal if they have eaten them in other meals and snacks.

3. Serve meals earlier rather than later. Tired, distracted or anxious children eat poorly.

4. Keep snack times consistent (and given them a good 2 hours in between) rather than a smorgasbord of food on offer all day.

5. Eat together at the table and remove as many distractions from eating as possible

6. Limit their milk intake to 1 cup per day

Top tips to getting kids to eat vegetables:

1. Eat them yourself! Showing them that you enjoy veggies on a regularly basis will make all the difference (we are their teachers in life!)

2. Incorporate them into snacks – ie grate zucchini /carrot into muffins or have chopped veg as snacks to dip into pesto/hommus dip. Use fruit to blend with yo ghurt/milk into smoothies or tip the mixture into plastic moulds to make frozen ice blocks. ** check out my healthy snack recipes at www.trickylittletummies. com.au/recipes

3. Make it fun! Make the food appealing to children and remember their whole world revolves around having fun

4. Get them involved in food preparation – picking herbs, rinsing lettuce, cracking eggs, mixing food in a bowl, chopping veggies (safely).

5. Try not to make too much of a fuss if they don’t eat them and keep mealtimes positive.

Note: Hiding pureed veg in food is fine, but also make sure you give them pieces of vegetables to eat on a daily basis.

Words: Karina Savage

Karina is a leading Paediatric Dietitian and mum of 2 from Tricky Little Tummies. She loves helping families to nourish little bodies, specialising in babies and kids with food intol erance/allergy and fussy eaters. Working with thousands of families over the past 20 years, Karina loves lifting the cloud of confusion and stress, providing reassurance, clarity and inspiration around feeding their children.

How to talk about

Early Childhood Education and Care

How do you talk about early childhood education and care?

The words we use daily to describe early education matter. Professional language is one way to advocate and begin the changes necessary to support the work we do every day. If we use this professional language every day with children, families and our community—in documentation, in conversations and embedded within frameworks—it will begin to catch on, the messages will get through, and more and more people will start using this professional language without a second thought. It will become the new norm.

Early Childhood Australia (ECA) observed the varied use of language to describe Early Childhood Eductaion and Care (ECEC) which can be confusing and outdated, reflecting the many voices in the early childhood space.

We decided to develop a new resource to set out professional and positive ways to talk about ECEC. We also wanted to build recognition of the important role of ECEC educators and teachers. Our members and focus groups debated many words but everyone agreed the resource was needed.

In response, ECA developed and launched ‘How to talk about early childhood education and care’ recently, which includes some examples of language that can be changed.

Simple changes include using words such as ‘children’ rather than ‘kids’ (we are not educating baby goats!); ‘experiences’ rather than ‘activities’; using respectful language such as ‘children with special rights’ instead of ‘children with additional needs’ or ‘children with a disability’.

It also means thinking about why the word ‘friends’ is so commonly used to group children when, as adults, we choose our friends. What are the underly ing messages children receive from being grouped with people who are not necessarily their friends? And why are children in early childhood services

“While we may think these words are relatively harmless, they reflect an image and send a strong message.”

REPLACE

Kids Child care worker Centre Day care Industry

called by the room they are in, rather than by their name?

While we may think these words are relatively harmless, they reflect an image and send a strong message. It’s important that we view children as individuals, rather than as just part of a group, and that this is made clear by our language.

Some of these phrases you may have heard before, others may be new; however as part of your reflective process we invite you to look at the bigger picture, and perhaps unpack your image of the child and think about the language you use every day.

Professional language is one way to advocate and begin the changes necessary to support the work we do every day. If we use this professional language every day with children, families and our community—in documentation, in conversations and embedded within frameworks—it will begin to catch on, the messages will get through, and more and more people will start using the same language without a second thought.

Educational leaders and mentors play a vital role in role modelling and challenging their colleagues to explore, reflect and use this terminology within all aspects of service life—this includes family day care and outside school hours care services. Ensuring unity of language across the sector stops confusion and makes a power ful—and essential—stand.

Early Childhood Australia (ECA) is a not-for-profit organisation that has been a voice for children since 1938. Our vision is that every young child is thriving and learning. To achieve this, we champion the rights of young children to thrive and learn at home, in the community, within early learning settings and through the early years of school.

Embrace

How can you use this resource?

As a discussion topic for a team meeting

Share it with families

Display it at your service

Include it in induction materials for new staff and practicum students

Provide a copy to visitors to your service such as community leaders and organisations

• Watch the video below to hear how one service is using the resource with fami lies and new staff.

Scan to download the ECA resource on ‘How to Talk about Early Childhood Education and Care’

Changing the world with Family Yoga

Spending Quality Time Together

In a world where parents and children are so busy, fam ily yoga provides a wonderful place to spend healthy and happy, quality time together.

No mobile phones, no iPads or TV, no other duties… it’s just you and your children. You might be surprised, but that does not happen often in the 21st century.

Family is so important, and time and care are needed to nurture and make it work; yoga is perfect for this!

Children, parents, and even grandparents get to enjoy practicing yoga together and strengthen their bonds while they support each other and have fun.

The Importance of Play

In their constant struggle to juggle all of their responsi bilities, many parents have become way to serious!

So this is my favorite thing about Family Yoga; it teach es parents how to play!

The most common response we hear from parents after a few Family Yoga classes is that things are differ ent at home now, and EVERYTHING is more playful and fun!

Bridging The Gap

Family yoga is very special; it is a rare opportunity for both parents and children to observe and learn from each other and a great way to bridge the huge age difference between them.

While playing yoga together as a family, we exchange roles a lot. For example, while doing Dog Pose, parents (who are usually the leaders) get to be led on a dog walk by their children.

Children (who are usually the receivers) get to give to their parents when they massage them while in relax ation.

Parents get to see how their children learn and how they interact with other children and adults. And chil dren get to see their parents as learners, something that doesn’t happen very often, setting a great example for their children.

Until a certain age, children think that their parents are superhuman; that they never get tired, never run out of time or money, and that there is nothing that they can’t do… it is good for the children to realize that their

parents are not perfect.

There are many poses that the children can do and the parents can’t, and some activities that the children can do better than the parents. This humanizes the parent and eases the pressure that their children’s expecta tions can create.

In addition to all of the other great benefits of yoga, all of these gestures help to relieve tension in the parent/ child relationship.

Opportunities for children to develop and learn skills through playing alongside their same-age peers and provide opportunities for children to build confidence and a sense of self and belonging to a group. When a child is included, you will notice how they can confi dently engage in play with peers and are supported to explore their worlds to make new discoveries. You will see them being encouraged to build independence and self-help skills and to take part in the program. They will develop a sense of who they are, and of belonging within the group

Words: Gopala Amir Yaffa

Gopala is the Co-founder of Rainbow Yoga who provides life changing yoga education around the world. Rainbow Kids Yoga is now offering children and family yoga teacher training online and in-person. Visit rainbowyogatraining.com to learn more.

“Family yoga is very special; it is a rare opportunity for both parents and children to observe and learn from each other and a great way to bridge the huge age difference between them.”

Breathing. It’s something that is so innate, so uncon scious, so vital.

But did you know that it is also the key to help ground your child, help performance, help anxiety, help connec tion and help resilience?

So, while breathing is compulsory and automatic, when we turn it into a conscious, thoughtful and purposeful activity we quickly learn it’s our inbuilt superpower. Calm breathing empowers our children (and ourselves, actually) to be able to access an internal physical and psychological regulator that can act as a circuit breaker; a battery charger; a time out and a pep talk.

The sympathetic nervous system (The Fight, Flight, Freeze Response)

The sympathetic nervous system is responsible for our fight, flight, freeze response – our automatic response to actual or perceived threat. Its job is to prepare our body to get ready for physical challenge (“fight”), to retreat (“flight”) or to freeze. It is built to be quick and short term – to survive a threat, not considering our long-term wellbeing. The sympathetic nervous sys tem is incredibly fast acting, as our body is geared to survive.

The Science Behind Calm Breathing

Our bodies go through a number of significant changes when the sympathetic nervous system is activated. For example:

• Muscles become activated and tense

• The frontal lobe (in charge of cognitive functions such as concentration, attention, problem solving, reasoning, rationalisation, forward planning etc.) shuts down

• Heart rate increases

• Breathing changes to ‘short’ (into the lungs not tummy) and fast

• Pupils constrict – meaning we experience “tunnel vision”

• Digestion changes – we often experience ‘butter flies’, loose bowls and stomach cramps

• More glycogen is converted to glucose to give us energy

• Immune system responses decrease

Unfortunately, these days, due to increased technology, stressors and expectations on us and our children, we all spend a lot of time with our sympathetic nervous systems activated. We are constantly connected, switched on, and conscious of perceived or actual social, emotional and psychological threats. We’re heightened.

Aquick

guideto our n ervoussyst e m s

“Calm breathing empowers our kids (and ourselves, actu ally) to be able to access an internal physical and psycho logical regulator that can act as a circuit breaker; a battery charger; a time out and a pep talk.”

Children have vastly increased screen time, increased testing at school, social media and high intensity video games. This can push them into an overly or chron ic sympathetic state (sympathetic nervous systems switched on), which isn’t great for our mental or physi cal health. We see increases in chronic illness, lower im mune systems, poor sleep, fatigue, poor performance and poor mental health.

The parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest)

If the sympathetic nervous system is all about fast reaction, our parasympathetic nervous system is the antidote – the long-term planner. The parasympathetic nervous system helps produce a state of equilibrium in the body. It is this system that restores the body’s sense of calm, allowing it to relax, repair and restore. This is why it’s so important to strengthen this system in our children, to embed resilience and coping abilities.

When this system is activated, we see:

• Improved circulation and even distribution of ener gy amongst the brain and body systems

• Frontal lobe functions improved, such as rational thinking, creative thinking, improved attention, focus and improved empathy

• Digestion improved

• Slower, calm breathing

• Dilated pupils – so we can literally see the “whole picture”

This system is geared towards long term health and wellbeing with improved immune response, better di gestion and sleep, energy conversation and maintaining a healthier balance in your body.

How do we activate our parasympathetic nervous system?

While the parasympathetic nervous system is also au tomatic in activation, at times it needs a little more help to turn on. This is mostly due to the overactive nature of our sympathetic nervous system in the world we live in.

Every adult and child are different in regard to what activates “rest and digest” for them. For some children, this may be reading a book, playing playdough or doing craft, for others it may be going for a walk or doing some yoga – something more physical in their body.

What we do know is that, for most people, engaging in calm breathing will activate our parasympathetic nervous system, via our vagus nerve. It tells our heart to slow down, conserve energy and reduces the release of cortisol (our stress hormone). This sends that vital signal to the brain that it is calm, safe and no longer under threat.

Lauren is the Principal Psychologist at Big Little Steps Psy chology for Brave & Able. Visit braveandable.com.au for more information about their breathing buddies

Words: Dr Lauren Moulds

Early Childhood Education and Care

Service Spotlight

Oasis Community Children’s Centre

Oasis Community Children’s Centre is a 92 place, early education and care service based in Salisbury.

In 2021, the team at Oasis Community Children’s Centre were observing a variety of behaviours from the chil dren in their care , including aggression, difficulty inter acting with peers, lack of trust in adults, and an inability to regulate their emotions or responses. The team were feeling overwhelmed with the intensity and frequency of these behaviours and found traditional ‘behaviour guidance’ methods were ineffective in supporting the children. They were aware that this was likely due to the high rates of adversity and trauma experienced by many of the children and families attending the ser vice. Despite being aware of the likely causes of these behaviours, the team was left feeling ill-equipped.

This prompted the leadership team to seek support from Connect.Ed. With support from their Inclusion Professional, Oasis submitted an application to access Innovative Solutions Support funding via the Inclusion Support Programme. This funding provided an oppor tunity for the team to engage in professional develop ment on a variety of topics, including brain develop ment, developmental trauma, understanding children’s behaviours, attachment and regulation. Alongside the professional development sessions, the project includ ed regular out-of-hours meetings with the leadership team, and regular mentoring sessions whereby a Child Development Practitioner from Connect.Ed attended the service to support the whole team with recom mendations, guidance and role-modelling of trauma-in formed strategy implementation.

One of the key goals the service identified at the begin ning of their project with Connect.Ed, was for educa tors to be able to identify their signs of dysregulation and how this influenced their responses to children’s behaviour. Upon the project completion, the team shared key reflections and almost every team mem ber identified that they felt more confident and com fortable, as a result of the

project, identifying when they were becoming dysregulated, and their individual strategies to manage this. One team mem ber identified that, when they were beginning to feel over whelmed, they would become ‘busy’ doing small tasks, and of ten standing up. They reflected that, whilst this was successful in providing space between them and the children, it was actually impacting on their ability to authentically connect with them. This insightful reflection allowed the educator to try a new approach, including sitting and actively connecting with the children. When the children became dysregulated, the educator practiced co-regula tion (as discussed throughout the professional devel opment session). The educator was able to identify that these moments actually led to a calmer group, and therefore the educator felt calmer themselves!

Throughout the project, the team learnt a lot about the needs and reasons that underlie children’s various behaviours, which helped them to re-frame what they were seeing and understand it from different perspec tives. Many of the educators expressed that this was helpful in making the tricky behaviours feel less frus trating, as they had increased empathy for the experi ences of the children. However, an unexpected benefit of learning about the needs and reasons underlying behaviour, was the capacity for the team to apply this to their interactions with each other, as well as the chil dren.

The project provided the team with opportunities to understand each other’s different communication styles, strengths, times when they needed support, and how their individual experiences might show up in their interactions with each other (because after all, we are all whole human beings with unique experiences that have influenced who we are and how we interact!). This increased empathy and understanding for each other allowed the team to build even stronger cohesion, which facilitated a more consistent approach with the children and families.

“The trauma-informed training has impacted on all areas of my professional practice, including equip ping me with more tools to address challenging behaviours”

- Marilyn, Room Leader

“I am now armed with background knowl edge of trauma behaviours, allowing me to understand the reasons for children’s be haviour’s and how to address them more effectively.”

Tavga, Early Childhood Educator

The team at Oasis have worked incredibly hard through out 2022 to support each other, the children, the fami lies and their community using a trauma-informed lens. They actively and wholeheartedly embraced the sup port available to them and continue to work on embed ding trauma-informed practice into the fabric of their service, whilst also connecting with other professionals to support children and families. This is allowing them to continue learning, growing and becoming a fantastic example of successful trauma-informed practice in early years education.

Words: Chloe King

Chloe is a Child Development Practitioner at Connect.Ed

The Innovative Solutions Support (ISS) funding is available through the Inclusion Support Program (ISP) to assist eligible early childhood education and care services to fund innovative, flexible and responsive solutions to barriers to inclusion and embed inclusive practices.

Innovative Solutions Support provides flexible funding to empower services to carefully consider their inclusion chal lenges and take on an active role in finding solutions and build their capacity and capability to include children with additional needs.

For more information about the funding, please contact the South Australia Inclusion Agency inclusion@gowriesa.org.au

Connect.Ed can support early childhood education and care services to implement trauma-informed practice, using a regulatory and relationship-based approach. This approach is different to a ‘traditional’ behaviour-management approach and, instead, focuses on supporting children to regulate their emotional experiences using their emotional connection with Educators.

For more information about accessing support from Connect. Ed, please contact admin@connecteducation.info

Connection Building Made Easy

What is connection?

Connection is a feeling of alignment and security. A need to be close and in tune with those we care about.

Why is connection such an importnat part of caregiving?

Humans are social creatures. We value connection above all else. Our brains are literally built on the inter actions we have day to day with those closest to us. Every smile, every hug and every song feeds our need to feel loved, supported and safe.

How can we find time to connect with our chil dren when we’re so busy?

Connection is something we do all the time (often without noticing). But, you better believe you notice when it’s missing. Meltdowns, tantrums and all sorts of challenging behaviour can occur when we miss chil dren’s cues.

Children have an instinctive need to feel close and con nected to you. When they don’t, they will find ways of

getting that connection (for better or worse!) because any connection is better than no connection.

To avoid the feelings of overwhelm that come with your child’s ‘connection-seeking’ behaviour, try taking 10 min utes a day to purposefully connect. Your uninterrupted and focused presence is what makes children feel seen, heard and understood by you. This helps to keep their cup full, and yours too!

We know it’s difficult when you’re busy and that’s why we try to sneak connection into our everyday interac tions and tasks. Remember, you either spend the time connecting, or you spend the time dealing with the fall out of a child who’ll do anything for your connection. Either way, you spend the time.

Need some ideas?

Words: Nicola Vozzo

Nicola is a Child Development Practitioner at Connect.Ed and one of the faces behind Connected Caregiving

Brushing your hair

Invite your child into the bathroom with you. Look at yourself in the mirror and brush your hair. Offer your child their own brush so they can look in the mirror and do the same. You can chat about how it feels on your head or simply watch your child through curious eyes.

Loading and sorting the washing

Invite your child into the laundry to talk to them about how the dirt gets cleaned from their clothes with soap and water. Show your child how to place some cloth ing into the washing machine and invite them to try. You can take turns or you can watch them. Comment on what they’re doing and be playful! You can even sit together to sort and match different items when the closes are dry.

Kitchen musical instruments

Invite your child into the kitchen and choose some things in the cupboards to make music with. Talk about what noises they make, do they sound the same or different? Are they loud or soft? Make music together and sing songs. Allow your child to lead the play and go along for the ride.

Nature walk

Go for a walk outside together with a bag or basket and pick up some treasures that you find along the way. Sticks, leaves, rocks, anything goes! Talk about how they are similar, or different. Let your child explore the outdoors and take this play where they want it to go. Use this as a time to practice and model mindfulness. Notice what they are drawn to and be curious about how they play.

Playdough

You can make this together or simply buy some from the shop. Grab some tools to use (these could be from the kitchen or sticks / leaves from outside) and let your child experiment with the playdough. Sit back and watch. Join in if they invite you, but don’t take over. Be curious about what they’re making and, rather than praising their finished product, notice their creativity, effort and persistence.

a Parenting

Journey with Danielle Symes

Danielle is a DIY loving, wholefood eating, op shopping wizard.

She’s also a photographer, wife and mother to two beautiful children.

We spoke to Danielle about the highs and lows of her parenting journey and the lessons motherhood has taught her.

How would you describe your parenting style?

I think I am best described as the ultimate ‘try everything and see what sticks!’ I can be a gentle parent one moment, then the next minute I’m channeling Bandit whilst the kids ride me like a pony, but before I know it I’m counting to three and screaming at them to put their shoes on. I just always make sure that if I do lose my temper I acknowledge that I did and I apologize for it. Overall my main objective is that I am present, I spend quality time with them and that they know they are so incredibly loved.

Anyone who follows you on Instagram will know how important family is to you. What does an ‘ideal’ weekend look like for the Symes family?

Cuddles in bed followed by making pancakes together followed by a day at home pottering around. Nothing fancy, just us at home together.

Maybe add friends popping over in the afternoon for a plat ter and wine in the sunshine whilst the kids run amok in the garden together. Even better... do all this but in our caravan with a few groups of our friends! Not much beats camping with your friends who all have kids of similar ages.

What values guide you as a parent?

Respect, kindness, empathy and courage.... for people, ani mals, the environment and for themselves.

What are your hopes for your children’s futures?

That they experience love and that they are happy. (I would also love it if they were best friends and called each other every day!)

What is the most important lesson motherhood has taught you?

That everyone has their way of doing things and whatever works for you might not work for them. I am so much less judgmental now that I am mum, not just about parenting stuff but life in general. I wanted to teach my kids to be good, kind people and I ended up educating and changing myself in the process.

How would you describe your parenting journey?

A learning curve. Having post natal depression with Harper was the hardest thing I have ever dealt with in my life but it also gave me so much perspective and I am a better parent, and person, now. I felt like I missed out on the first few years of Harper’s life [with my depression] so I really try to soak up every bit of time with them now... I take in every little facial expression, every little mispronounced word and I’m hanging on to their hands for dear life, knowing that it won’t be long before they won’t want me to hold it anymore.

If you could go back (to the beginning of your parent ing journey) and give yourself one piece of advice, what would it be?

Oh gosh that poor girl! I would honestly just hug her and let her sob into my chest tell her ‘You are doing a GREAT job!

Don’t listen to them, don’t doubt yourself. This IS hard. You are allowed to say it’s hard. You are a magnificent mum.’

Danielle can be found at @danielle_symes

For more information on post natal depression visit panda.org.au or turn the page to read more about PANDA

“I wanted to teach my kids to be good, kind people and I ended up educating and changing myself in the process.”

Self-care tips

for expecting and new parents

Having a baby is life-changing. It can deliver a lot of love, joy and fulfilment but it can also create demands and responsi bilities that feel relentless, difficult and scary. Sometimes, parents have difficulty adjusting to the many physical, emo tional, psychological and social challenges of parenting.

On the helpline, we hear from parents who are consumed by caring for their children and doing a wonderful job of it. But self-care has become a low priority.

We know that the stress, interrupted sleep and 24-hour demands can take their toll. But they become more manageable when we are able to care for and nurture ourselves too. Keep reading for some tips on different aspects of self-care:

Sleep

For many parents, interrupted sleep can take a mental, physical and emotional toll. Some general rules for sleep hygiene include:

• Go to bed at the same time each day

• Avoid exercise before bed

• Make the bedroom as restful an environment as possible

• Avoid screentime or other stimulating activities just before bed

• Avoid caffeine and other stimulants in the evening

• Try a warm bath or shower two hours before bed to regulate your body temperature for sleep

• Avoid a nap in the evening

• If you can’t sleep, get up and do something quiet in another room.

Quick naps can improve your alertness and help in de cision-making, creativity and sensory perception. Short naps, such as 20 minutes, are less likely to disrupt your sleep at night.

Eating

Some parents find themselves snacking on conve nience food. We know that setting realistic goals helps. Healthy, home-cooked food for every meal may not be an achievable goal so set goals for your family that are manageable and allow for something easier, such as eggs on toast or toasted sandwiches, on difficult days.

Exercise and getting outdoors

For some people, regular physical exercise is highly beneficial. We know that it can increase serotonin levels - a hormone that contributes to general happiness and wellbeing. We also know that getting out of the house into fresh air and sunshine can lift mood and boost vitamin D.

However, setting achievable goals is important. These goals depend on personal circumstances, previous exercise history and physical recovery from birth.

It can be helpful to schedule in exercise time. When your baby is small, this could be as simple as aiming for a short walk in the morning with the baby in the pram.

For some mums, childbirth impacts on pelvic floor function. Physiotherapists can help with assessment, treatment and strengthening exercises if this is an issue. If you have any concerns about your physical recovery, it is important to consult a doctor before you undertake any strenuous exercise after birth.

Exercise may also mean something gentler to some people, such as breathing exercises, meditation or a yoga class. Some people find these beneficial.

Many websites and phone apps provide short guided meditations or relaxation exercises, some specifically for new parents.

Social network

Being at home with a baby after years of being in a busy workplace can be an isolating experience for some parents. New and existing social networks can help you feel connected to other adults.

New mothers’ groups and playgroups are one avenue. Others include free activities, such as story time at the local library, while other people seek connection through online groups, such as supportive Facebook pages.

If you are struggling with postnatal mental health issues, there might be a supported playgroup you may be able to attend in your area. These are often run by a health worker or social worker and attended by other parents who have been struggling.

Time out

Time out means different things to everyone. But in general, it is important that parents who are primary carers have a break from the caring role at times. We speak to many parents who experience barriers to this. Sometimes the barrier is a time constraint, sometimes it is driven by a parent feeling guilty or feeling like they shouldn’t need time out from their family.

Some families find the best way to create time out is to struc ture it i.e. a set time or activity each week for the primary carer. The additional benefit is that the other parent or carer gets one-on-one time with the baby or child, which can also help with their bonding and confidence. Generally, a parent needing time to themselves gets most benefit if the rest of the family is out of the house, or if the parent can go out themselves.

Some ideas for nurturing time out are:

• A class or activity outside the home

• Engaging in a hobby/craft that is enjoyable

• Taking a relaxing bath

• Going for a walk

• Going shopping

• Listening to music

• Reading a book/magazine

• Watching a movie

Mental health / professional support

For parents, recognising that you are struggling is the first step. For some, this may manifest as obvious symptoms of anxiety, depression or other issues such as obsessive compul sive disorder. For others, it may be more subtle, just a sense of not quite coping, feeling low in energy or not feeling yourself.

Callers to the helpline often comment on their relief at being able to talk about what is on their mind. For some people, it is helpful to talk to family or friends. But often, for varied rea sons, this is not helpful or possible.

Discussing your concerns with a mental health professional or a helpline such as PANDA is a good option in these cases. It is helpful, if possible, to build a positive relationship with a local doctor. New parents with babies often visit their doctor for the baby’s sake but we encourage callers to connect for their own sake too. Doctors are often the first point of professional contact for mental health concerns.

Self-care is partly about reaching out to others when we need it. There are other options for professional support beyond a doctor – facilitated playgroups, psychologists and counsellors – that your doctor or PANDA can help you access.

PANDA National Helpline: 1300 726 306

info@panda.org.au panda.org.au

howisdadgoing.org.au

Losing a part of yourself

Breaking the silence around pregnancy loss

One in five One in five women have experienced pregnancy loss. That means, when I sit around with my friends, family and colleagues, chances are a bunch of them have gone through what I have. These statistics suggest shared experiences and commonality amongst women. And yet, as I have recently learned, this is one of the most isolating and lonely things a woman can experi ence. How did we get here?

In my private confessions and consolations, “I’ve had one, too” is something I heard many women admit to me. Others, just like me, have suffered alone, silently, and with a crushing heaviness. And yet, this is the first time I am hearing of their loss? From some of the women I am closest to? Why? Why aren’t we talking? Why are we silenced in our suffering? So here I am –talking about it. Partly because this is part of my heal ing journey, but mostly because I hope this can help to reduce the stigma surrounding pregnancy loss for other people, helping them to feel less isolated in their healing journey. We keep talking about that fact that we don’t talk about it – so let’s start talking.

Being pregnant is crazy. Brene Brown has carefully categorised every human emotion and experience into eighty-seven (and I’m pretty sure I experienced every single one of these emotions within a week of being pregnant!) For me, something changed as soon as I saw those two little pink lines, confirming what my body and heart had already known. My mind instantly shifted from ’me’ to ‘us’. Suddenly, I saw a future with this little person who I already loved more than anything.

To love someone so much and then have them taken from you (before you even got a chance to hold them) is a pain I wish I never knew. I didn’t just lose my baby; I lost a part of me. I lost a future and a dream I had been holding for as long as I can remember. I lost everything that could have been. I lost the person I was before

this happened; the ‘me’ who was optimistic, carefree, funny even. The ‘me’ who didn’t know she could feel so earth-shatteringly broken. I not only lost an imagined future, I also lost my past self because I will never get to be that girl again. I have felt deep, anguishing grief and it has changed my world as I know it.

Tashel Bordere talks about ‘disenfranchised grief’ as a grief that is ‘invisible’ or harder to see. The complexity of pregnancy loss and infertility is all tied up in this idea that it’s not always viewed as a tangible loss. For people who experience disenfranchised grief, the loss is often not openly acknowledged or supported with rituals or sympathy. It remains unseen and hidden.

We all know about the ‘12 week announcement’, when people feel its ‘safe’ to share their private joy publicly. This unspoken and unwritten ‘norm’ of keeping early pregnancy private is rationalised as something we do in case there is a loss. And in the worst cases, when there actually is a loss, this ‘rule’ keeps us in a pattern of hiding our grief. It’s difficult for people to acknowledge and support the loss of a pregnancy that they never knew existed in the first place. So, women are left with a choice, to suffer alone in silence or feel the guilt of burdening others with their pain.

Grief in general can make people uncom fortable, and grief that is invisible or has blurry boundaries such as pregnancy loss, often means people don’t know how to react or react insensitive ly. Well-meaning but devastating words of encouragement hit us like bullets.

“I felt lost and alone, and I felt like I failed. I didn’t know how common miscarriages were because we don’t talk about them. We sit in our own pain, thinking that some how we’re broken.”

Michelle Obama

“At least it happened early”

“You’ll have another baby”

“Everything happens for a reason”

Are these things true? Maybe. But saying the truth and saying something meaningful and supportive are often two different things.

It’s hard to imagine any other circumstance where responses such as these after a loss are acceptable. But when it comes to pregnancy loss, it’s somehow common place.

Grief is complicated and it’s uncomfortable to sit in people’s sadness with them. We want to make people feel better, so we try to focus on the ‘bright side’ and talk about what there is to be grateful for. Unfortunately, that’s not how grief works. Are there still reasons for us to be grateful? Of course. Does that make our pain go away? Not in the slightest.

The grief of pregnancy loss, like all grief, needs to be acknowledged and validated. The more people try to bring up ‘silver linings’ the heavier this grief feels and the more isolated you can become. You start to follow the narrative – just stay positive! You go to work (in my case, with children) while you’re grieving and you pretend you’re ok while your world is crumbling around you. But we still don’t talk about it.

It’s important to remember that two things can always be true; we can understand that there are things to be grateful for AND we can be feeling so hurt and defeated that we can’t see a way out.

I’m grateful I was able to get pregnant AND I’m devas tated by what happened to us.

I’m so happy for all my friends who are sharing their pregnancy news with me AND I find it really hard to hear right now. My response is genuine, ‘I’m so happy for you!’ AND my mind wonders to what could have been.

To simultaneously experience these conflicting emo tions is what it means to be human. The two don’t can cel each other out and one is not better than the other. All these feelings are there to be felt and acknowledged.

To all the people out there who know this feeling, whether it be a pregnancy loss or struggles with infertil ity—you are not alone. Some days it feels like there is no way through. It feels hard because it is. It’s impossibly hard. I hope you understand that you’re stronger than you know. Your journey is your own and there is no ‘right way’ to get through it.

To those who don’t know this feeling, chances are you know someone who does. This is your reminder to check in with them. It’s ok if they’re not ok. Be in it with them, it can be as simple as ‘I’m here for you’

The truth is we need each other, to share the joys yes, but also the heartache. Talking, sharing and connecting with one another is a pathway to healing. Let’s keep this conversation open and safe so we can all find comfort and support in our deepest, darkest and shared heart ache.

Needing somewhere to start?

Try SANDS (Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Support Australia).

SANDS is an organisation who can help with supporting wom en and their partners who have had a pregnancy loss at any gestation, including during the loss and afterwards. All their counsellors are trained and have experienced pregnancy loss or stillbirth. If you feel you cannot contact SANDS yourself, ask your midwife to refer you.

Phone: 1300 072 637

Online Live Chat: go to www.sands.org.au and click on support

Email: support@sands.org.au

Words: Nicola Vozzo

Reconciliation in education

Education is such an importnat part of creating an inclusive, supportive and culturally diverse society who respects and embraces our oldest living cultures. We spoke to Nykita about the importance of reconciliation in early learning and her journey towards fostering repectful releationships for our future generations.

Tell us about yourself?

My Name is Nykita Gibbs I am a Gamilaraay woman from Kamilaroi country in New South Wales. I have worked in the early childhood sector for 15 years. I have worked at Goodstart Elizabeth Vale as the Direc tor for just over 4 years now and hold a degree in Early Childhood. I am very passionate about reconciliation and working with Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander families and children.

Why is Reconciliation so important in Early Childhood Education and Care? What does it look like for you? Reconciliation is about respectful relationships between the wider Australian community and Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples. Building positive relation ships with Aboriginal and Torres strait Islander families and children providing a learning environment where their culture is respected and embedded in everyday practice.

Goodstart Early Learning Elizabeth Vale strives to in spire children and families to achieve greatness through teamwork, communication, educational programs, purposeful experiences and ongoing support. Our vision is to have a culturally safe environment where every one feels welcome. We aim to ensure that all families, children and educators feel accepted and included. We have developed and continue to foster respectful relationships with our local Aboriginal community in order to provide children with a greater knowledge and understanding of Australia’s First Peoples.

At Goodstart Elizabeth Vale, we have created a commu nity where Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander families feel welcomed and respected in an inclusive environ ment which celebrates and encourages all families to share their knowledge and experiences. This practice, which is collaborative, embodies the culture of our

centre and enables families to be active partners with educators in their child’s learning journey.

Can you tell us about your reconciliation journey at Elizabeth Vale?

Supporting families and their culture empowers our educators as advocates and promotes reconciliation and education for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Peoples and our community. Children are central to everything we do; it is important to give children the opportunity to explore and learn about our First Nations People. It is also important that our families feel safe, secure and supported knowing they can be proud of their culture and respected in our community. The com munity has helped us get flags to fly in the centre and have provided us with important feedback which has helped us to progress on our reconciliation journey.

It is important for education services to be inclusive and teach reconciliation at a young age to create a bet ter future for all Australians to ensure we stand strong together.

How have you engaged with your local community through Reconciliation? What are some of the bene fits of this?

Since 2018, Goodstart Elizabeth Vale, in collaboration with our local Aboriginal health service, has offered an Indigenous playgroup to support local families.

The playgroup provides a range of developmentally suitable activities for children. Staff model appropriate interactions with children, support children’s develop ment with the health workers and engage parents in discussions about parenting. The playgroup operates 49 weeks each year to support a routine of regular attendance at playgroup, children’s services and school. A number of playgroup families have subsequently enrolled children in early childhood services.

The real work begins at home, as the best thing for developing children is to have great relationships with their family members. This gives the child a sense of attachment and stability, whether we are talking about developing relationships with parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles or other carers. A major benefit of play group is that children come assisted by their parents or other carers. From an emotional point of view, this strengthens the relationship between the child and their carer, because it creates a shared experience. At the same time, the child meets new people at playgroup, which allows for a safe test of separation from their carer. This is an important trait for building confidence in children, encouraging them to be independent from an early age.

This playgroup is engaging families in our community. A focus of the playgroup is supporting children’s devel opment and the families role as children’s first teachers, as well as encouraging a pattern of regular attendance. Building positive relationships between the families

and staff at the playgroup will support the transition of children and families into early childhood services and school.

We have been lucky enough to have Elders come and support our playgroup and provide some painting and cooking experiences. Elders have also shared some wonderful artifacts and engaged with the children and families about culture.

What would you want to share with others that are starting the process of Reconciliation and writing a Reconciliation Action Plan. At the start of our reconciliation journey, it was import ant for us to understand and be accepting of everyone’s varying knowledge and experience with reconcilia tion and Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander culture. Together we worked to create and change our practice and pedagogy which advocates for reconciliation and is underpinned by our educators’ skills and knowledge. By developing our team’s knowledge, we were able to move forward positively and create a vision in which our team is inspired to promote in all areas of their educational programs. From this, we were able to work through the Narragunnawali platform to create our RAP.

Words: Nykita Gibbs

For more information on Reconciliation in Education, visit www.narragunnawali.org.au

Reconciliation in early childhood

When we view children, we look at their development as physical and emotional, but children also develop morally and ethically as they get older. By the time children are 5 years old they have already developed a strong sense of what is fair and an understanding of how things might make other people feel. This means Reconciliation in early childhood education is not just important, but necessary.

Reconciliation is a framework in which we can support children to learn about building strong relationships with First Nations peoples that are free of racism, telling the truth about our history, learning about fairness and equity, and celebrating the unique culture of First Nations people.

Early Childhood is a great place to start these conversations, and build foundations of empathy, understanding, fairness, critical thinking and truth telling to support children to be open to learning about Australia’s past, and build reciprocal and transformative relationships with First Nations people.

Reconciliation in education is a necessary step towards a just, equitable and reconciled future, but it is also a step that is rewarding, interesting, and fun. It is where early childhood settings foster knowledge and pride in First Nations history, culture, and contributions. Its about learning alongside the children in your settings and committing to work that will be ongoing and lifelong.

So, with that in mind, what can reconciliation look like in an early childhood setting?

• Reconciliation looks like a commitment to learning together with children and researching things you don’t know together.

• It looks like respecting language and culture.

• It looks like unlearning stereotypes, and teaching children to embrace and celebrate differences.

• It looks like sharing stories through picture books and videos.

• It looks like invitations to First Nations people to work together and share their culture with the children in your care.

If you are stuck, or don’t know what to do next, there are plen ty of small steps you can take! For any early childhood setting that is at a loss to get started, the best place is developing a Reconciliation Action Plan. This plan can guide you in the best way to develop a safe and inclusive environment that demonstrates respect for First Nations people. Developing a Reconciliation Action Plan will give you a starting point, and is

a visible way to show your community that you are commit ted to reconciliation action and change.

The Reconciliation Action Plan process details four stages to complete in the process:

1. Establishing a working group of passionate educators, fam ilies and community members that will engage in planning for reconciliation and implementing the actions

2. Creating a vision for reconciliation, that shares your commitment to reconciliation and what has motivated that commitment

3. Participation in a reconciliation reflection survey to help you understand who you are, and where you are starting from

4. And finally, commitment to reconciliation actions, that will guide your early childhood community to implement new ideas and celebrate embedded actions.

You can achieve all of this by signing up to the Narragun nawali community. A reconciliation in education program that supports education settings to understand reconciliation in education and includes tools and resources to support your development of a Reconciliation Action Plan.

At Reconciliation SA, we strive to build relationships in our education community, and set you up for meaningful reconcil iation action. We are the reconciliation council for South Aus tralia, and we champion a safe and inclusive South Australian society free from racism through education, information, conversation, and advocacy.

Our work starts in early learning settings, and we view early childhood educators as an integral part of our reconciliation movement. In 2021, a large percentage of Australian society agreed that education settings foster improved attitudes towards reconciliation. Your work as educators for reconcilia tion is essential to move towards a reconciled Australia.

Words: Natalie Gentle

Natalie is an Education Project Officer at Reconciliation South Australia. If you are interested in learning more about reconcilia tion in education, Reconciliation SA are here to help. Please get in touch for support on reconciliation in education, and developing a Reconciliation Action Plan in your setting. natalie@reconciliationsa.org.au

Assessment & Rating

Explained Education Standards Board

The Education Standards Board is the regulatory authority in South Australia that assesses quality, under the National Quality Framework, and monitors compliance against the Education and Early Childhood Services National Law (South Australia) (National Law) and Regulations.

Early childhood services include long day care, pre school and kindergarten, family day care and out of school hours care.

To begin operation, an approved provider of an early childhood service must apply to the Education Stan dards Board for service approval. This initial approval includes assessment of the suitability of the premises, adequacy of staffing and effectiveness of policy and procedure to ensure the health, safety, and wellbeing of children, and provision of valuable developmental opportunities through learning and play.

To approve a service, an Authorised Officer will usually attend the premises, review policy and procedure, and ensure that there is provision for adequate staffing, in cluding that management, and educators providing the service are suitably qualified and cleared for working with children.

After 12 months of operation, Authorised Officers from the Education Standards Board assess and rate the service against the seven Quality Areas which form the National Quality Standard.

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As part of the assessment and rating process, an Authorised Officer from the Education Standards Board will visit the service and collect evidence by observing children, educators, coordinators, staff, and families’ activity, discussing practices at the service with staff and sighting documentation that supports practices at the service.

Each service is unique, and the assessment and rating process acknowledges that the ways in which the standards for quality are met will vary depending on the service context, including the needs of families and the wider community.

A service will be rated for each quality area, ranging from “Working Towards”, “Meeting”, to “Exceeding”. The overall rating a service receives is based on the results for each of the quality areas and is published on Start ing Blocks.

Each service must display their rating and have their Quality Improvement Plan available for families and caregivers to view. A Quality Improvement Plan forms part of the submissions for assessment and rating and includes a statement of philosophy for the service and identifies area for improvement.

Services that have demonstrated Exceeding themes in each of the seven quality areas have the option of ap plying to the ACECQA, the national regulatory authority, for an “Excellent” rating, which signals that the service promotes exceptional education and care and demon strates leadership in their practice.

Early Childhood Education and Care

Fleurieu Occasional Community Children’s Centre Service Spotlight

It’s no surprise that many children and families have been impacted by the ongoing uncertainly and stress surrounding the Covid-19 pandemic. The team at Fleurieu Occasional Community Children’s Centre felt a real shift, not only in the levels of stress and anxiety within their community and families, but also within themselves as ‘essential workers’. They also under stood that this ongoing stress was having an impact on the children in their care. We spoke with their director Kirsty, to learn more about how she supported her team throughout this unprecedented time.

Fleurieu Occasional Community Children’s Centre is located in Noarlunga Centre and provides care for fam ilies of diverse backgrounds, including families experi encing adversity and trauma. As such, the service often finds themselves supporting high numbers of children exhibiting challenging behaviour and require additional support.

While the Educators (who are, for the most part, very experienced in the sector) have worked with similar behaviours previously, they found the rates of this were quickly growing and, due to the ongoing stress and uncertainty of our ‘new normal’, the Educators found their resilience was waning and this was impacting on

how they were able to interact and respond to children, families and their team.

“Educators were struggling to be their best selves when coming to work.” All these compounding factors led Kirsty, Centre Director, to reach out for support.

“We already identified that educator wellbeing was a priority for our service to explore. We were committed to supporting the mental health and wellbeing of edu cators, children and their families.”

With the support of their Inclusion Professional, Kirsty wrote a business case and applied for Innovative Solu tions Support (ISS) funding via the Inclusion Develop ment Fund Manager (IDFM). Kirsty contacted Connect. Ed to facilitate the project, as “their values align with those of our service” and she was drawn to the tailored support they could provide.

A variety of support strategies were included in the proj ect design, including monthly facilitated team meetings and reflective practice sessions. Various topics were covered such as brain development and developmen tal trauma, self-awareness, regulation, and educator wellbeing.

Kirsty described the tpoics as “interesting, and import ant for our work with children.”

The project also included fortnightly mentoring ses sions, which involved a Child Development Practitioner attending the service to support the team in their dayto-day work with the children through role modelling strategies, supporting reflection, and providing feed back.

According to Kirsty, “Mentoring, in particular, was very effective. Mentoring assisted us with the opportunity to see trauma-informed practice role modelled, whilst providing educators with an opportunity to reflect, in the moment. It also gave Educators an opportunity to trans late new knowledge (as discussed in staff meetings) into practical skills and ensured that new knowledge was embedded into daily practice.”

Throughout the project, educators were able to grasp a solid understanding of trauma-informed care and how this can support the children and families at their ser vice. “The project gave educators the confidence and skills to effectively manage challenging behaviours.”

Due to the projects focus on educator wellbeing, Educa tors were also more confident in recognising their own cues of dysregulation and were able to identify ways of supporting their own regulation, allowing them to be more available to support the children.

Over the course of the project, the team at Fleurieu demonstrated their commitment and passion for sup porting their community through ongoing reflection in their work, and through both professional and personal

development. Their commitment to wellbeing remains and following the project they developed a Wellbeing Action Plan so they can continue to build on their skills and knowledge.

Fleurieu is a leading example of ‘putting on your own oxygen mask first’. The team identified that they can’t pour from an empty cup and, in turn, focused on their own wellbeing in order to support the wellbeing of the children in their care.

Words: Nicola Vozzo

Nicola is a Child Development Practitioner at Connect.Ed and one of the faces behind Connected Caregiving

The Innovative Solutions Support (ISS) funding is available through the Inclusion Support Program (ISP) to assist eligible early childhood education and care services to fund innovative, flexible and responsive solutions to barriers to inclusion and embed inclusive practices.

Innovative Solutions Support provides flexible funding to em power services to carefully consider their inclusion challenges and take on an active role in finding solutions and build their ca pacity and capability to include children with additional needs.

For more information about the funding, please contact the South Australia Inclusion Agency inclusion@gowriesa.org.au

Connect.Ed can support early childhood education and care services to implement trauma-informed practice, using a regulatory and relationship-based approach. This approach is different to a ‘traditional’ behaviour-management approach and, instead, focuses on supporting children to regulate their emotional experiences using their emotional connection with Educators.

For more information about accessing support from Connect. Ed, please contact admin@connecteducation.info