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FEBRUARY2022
’ d e p o l E ‘We
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Love Advice
Real Relationships Forever Us
apostol legacy Flyin Buzzards
BlueGRASS BEST A MAGAZINE DEDICATED TO THE OZARKS
Editorial
Heart To Heart
F
ebruary is a classic month to celebrate love in many ways, whether it be flowers, candy or the love of a healthy heart during national heart month. In this edition we are giving you a variety of interesting articles from couples’ advice to a story on a local couple that have been a part of our community for many years. I think you will enjoy them all. I believe that what the world might need now is not only love and peace, but advice from those couples who have actually had a long lasting marriage. In this day and age, I believe that the couples who have had the one and only forever relationship is more rare than it ever has been. I have not checked the statistics, but it would not surprise me to find that the successful long-term relationship or marriage is more of a rarity. We all learn from our mistakes, or should anyway. We can look and see what didn’t work or what should have, but I also find it enriching to know and learn from the couples who married, perhaps had children, worked together and lasted to the vows of ‘till death do we part.’ The majority of those that I grew up with had parents that were one-time marriages, and it was so wonderful to watch. The couples worked together, communicated, asked each other’s opinion, raised their children together, truly loved each other, and it was actually precious to watch. Some of the things that we have lost over the years
could help bring many couples/families together. Simple things like sitting at the table and sharing a meal and communicating. Catching up on things that have happened throughout the day at work or at school. Family values are important to instill and even discipline is important. I truly feel like showing a healthy amount of discipline is showing love as well. There are very important points in the article written by Annie Lisenby in this month’s magazine on advice given by different couples. One piece of advice that I found interesting was suggesting that couples practice relationship maintenance. I have always heard that you have to work on a marriage. I personally have never heard maintenance as a relationship reference, but it does makes sense. Little things like saying thank you, you’re welcome, can I help you, can I get that for you, helping with cleaning, doing something for the other without being asked. So many little things that can be big important things that will add to the longevity. I hope you enjoy reading our articles focused on love and special couples. One article, written by Mike Gervais, focuses on the longtime Monett couple, Dr. Andres and Naty Apostle. The unusual way that they fell in love and the wonderful family that they built together is a very interesting read. We wish you all a Happy Valentines Day and I hope you will find the love that many of our couples have found and shared with you in this month’s edition.
Lisa Craft
General Manager, Connection Magazine Lisa Craft is General Manager of Connection Magazine, The Monett Times and Cassville Democrat. She can be reached at monettcommunity@gmail.com or connection@monett-times.com
4 | February 2022
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DISTRIBUTION Greg Gilliam Kevin Funcannon TO ADVERTISE 417-847-2610 - Cassville 417-235-3135 - Monett Send email inquiries to connection@monett-times.com Mailing address: P.O. Box 40, Monett, MO 65708 Connection is published monthly and distributed free in Cassville, Monett, Exeter, Washburn, Pierce City, Mt. Vernon, Aurora, Verona, Roaring River, Eagle Rock, Shell Knob, Purdy, Wheaton, Freistatt, Marionville, Seligman, Golden and other surrounding areas. Connection is a publication of the Cassville Democrat, The Monett Times and Rust Communications.
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10 | AN ELOPEMENT
Love of a lifetime beginning together and always
19 | LOVE ADVICE
Lasting relationships offer opportunity to learn the secrets of happiness
26 | THE APOSTOLS
Family connection continues with a spark of love that lights the way for future generations
36 | FIRE AND LIGHTNING
New insurance company in the 1930s sets eighth-grader up for lifelong employment
39 | FLYIN BUZZARDS BLUEGRASS BAND “Soaring like the Buzzards” this Ozark favorite is sure to entertain
The beautiful bride, Chasidi Webb on her wedding day, December 31, 2020, in Joshua Tree National Park in southern California.
45 | FICTION: SENIOR SINGLE MINGLE
Patty learns comfort may be found outside her comfort zone
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FEBRUARY2022
‘We Eloped’
Always I do
Love Advice
Real Relationships Forever Us
apostol legacy Flyin Buzzards
BlueGRASS BEST A MAGAZINE DEDICATED TO THE OZARKS
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8 | February 2022
Husband and wife, Matt and Marissa Freeman on their wedding day in Broken Bow, Oklahoma, on June 12, 2021. The Freemans expressed their personal style in this cover photo. They also decided to make their wedding cake themselves. (Photo on page 16)
CONTENTS 23 Healthy Connection
29 Parenting Column: How To Love Yourself 31 Cutest Kid
33 Date Night 42 Cutest Pet
43 Rescued, My Favorite Breed 50 Parting Shot
Have an idea for a story you would like to see in Connection Magazine? Email it to connection@monett-times.com Facebook.com/MyConnectionMo
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Elopement “It is one of life’s richest surprises when the accidental meeting of two life paths lead them to proceed together along the common path as husband and wife. It is one of life’s finest experiences when a causal relationship grows into a permanent bond of love. This meeting and this growth bring us together today.” An excerpt from the vows shared between husband and wife Joe and Chasidi Webb, takes us all into a place to enjoy the love stories shared with those around us. A Cassville area bride, Chasidi Webb and her husband Joe Webb, recently celebrated their first wedding anniversary on December 31, 2021. Why did this couple decided to take their ceremony on the road and celebrate their love in an unconventional way, and what did that look like? Chasidi said she and Joe met on November 6, 2016. “I travelled to the Northeast,” she said. “[That was] where Joe was living at the time, for work. We both worked at the same company, but had never met.” Chasidi and Joe worked alongside each other, and a version of a work place romance began to emerge. “He and I instantly hit it off,” she said. “On our day off we decided to go hiking at Mount Greylock in Massachusetts.”
10 | February 2022
Story by Jordan Troutman
Man and wife Joe and Chasidi Webb got married at Joshua Tree National Park in southern California on December 31, 2020.
ConnectionMO.com | Connection Magazine | 11
The Webbs continue to celebrate that day as their “hikeaversary”. “I can easily say that hike was my most life changing,” Chasidi said. “Not from spectacular views, but from our conversation. “Things between us clicked, everything seemed so easy. A few weeks later he came down to his home state of Missouri to be with his family for the Holiday, and we were able to get together for dinner.” 12 | February 2022
After that holiday dinner, the couple decided to try their hand in a long-distance relationship, that connection they felt should easily stretch across the country. “He, living in Connecticut, and I, living in Missouri,” Chasidi said. “That in itself of course can be seen as a challenge, but for me, it was the best thing for my life.” The absence made the heart grow
fonder and the Webbs grew closer despite their distance. “The planning of weekend trips was so exciting, but it was also an opportunity for myself to grow as I was entering my mid 20s,” she said. “Over the next 11 months we enjoyed a few long weekends together, and a two-week vacation hiking in the beautiful state of Maine.” If one thing can be said of the Webbs, nature is a big part of their relationship, but building their family was the key. “Over the course of 5 years we have swam in crystal clear oceans, hiked through forests, we have learned to parent together, we have made big future plans, and most importantly, we have laughed together,” Chasidi said. “There are always challenges in a relationship, but nothing has ever seemed too big. “Sometimes the hardest part of a relationship is two indecisive people picking a restaurant... haha.” Even so, Chasidi said marriage wasn’t on their radar. “We knew our lives would still be the same so we weren’t in any hurry to make something ‘official,’” she said. “Joe isn’t the world’s biggest romantic, so when he mentioned getting married I didn’t think he was serious. “Finally, I realized he was being serious about eloping on a vacation we had planned, and I became elated.” In another modern day twist, the couple went ring shopping together, and picked out a “lovely set.” “He has excellent taste,” she said. “So, I didn’t have to do much other than get all googly eyed every time he said, ‘What about this one?’” After five years, the butterflies were still very much there as the couple began to plan out the wedding day, and they began to discuss why they wanted an elopement. “We knew we didn’t want a large wedding for multiple reasons,” she said.
“We also knew a small wedding, or a micro wedding, would never work because both of our families are so large. “Weddings are supposed to be about the bride and groom, and it felt to us that planning for a wedding becomes impersonal and more about meeting everyone else’s expectations.” The couple also looked at the financial aspect, as they had just purchased a home in June 2020. “Even though we plan on slowly remodeling we knew the next spring we would be doing some major renovations,” Chasidi said. “We love to travel together, the idea of spending money on a trip seemed more appealing.” After making the final decision to elope, the wedding day quickly approached. “We reached out to my brother, Coby, to see if he would officiate our day for us,” Chasidi said. “He happily agreed and his wife, Laura, was more than willing to take our pictures. “The tough part was, ‘Oh hey, by the way we’re keeping this a secret, so don’t tell anyone.’” Alas, Chasidi said they didn’t make a peep. “We are so thankful,” she said. “The few months leading up to our trip was stress free and easy planning. The hardest part was keeping it a secret. “Do you know how hard it is to try on your wedding dress and receive your bouquet and not share it with anyone?!” Chasidi said the couple continued to remember why they were doing it this way. “We wanted the day to be about us, and completely relaxed, and it was,” she said. “My brother and his family live in southern California, so we knew we were going to elope in Joshua Tree National Park.” The night before, the soon-to-be Webbs, practiced their vows in the living room.
“Joe picked them out, and they are beautiful,” Chasidi said. “We shared plenty of laughs that evening and I think everyone was really looking forward to the next day. Joe and I decided on a wedding date of December 31, 2020. “2020 was such an intense year globally, but it was also a big year for us personally. We were so thankful to end the year on such a positive note. The only thing that was against us on our special day was the desert climate, which was bitter cold winds and bone chilling temperatures — southern Cali is supposed to bewarm, right?” Unfortunately, that is not the case in the desert at sundown. “Still yet, I wouldn’t change the time or location,” Chasidi said. “Just look at our photos, we couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful sunset.” While the Webbs got a happily ever after, and rode on into the desert sunset, Chasidi does have some advice for a bride planning an elopement. “Don’t forget what not only the day, but what the future is about,” she said. “It’s not just about an elaborate wedding, a trendy micro wedding, or even a quick elopement — it’s about the rest of your life with your partner. “Weddings are fun, but the commitment to your person is what is special. Don’t stress about your wedding, if you’re stressing you’re doing it wrong.” Her advice boils down to making the wedding about the marriage you will have, and not a show for the guests. “The best piece of relationship advice I have, is something I heard when I was much younger and didn’t understand at the time,” Chasidi said. “If there is a problem, it isn’t you against your partner against the problem. It’s the two of you together, against the problem. “When the two of you can focus on overcoming the obstacle instead of overcoming each other, you’ve got it figured out.”
From falling in love in a long-distance relationship to celebrating their first wedding anniversary, the Webbs have proved that they have in fact, got it figured out. “Joe and I did enjoy our family vacation during the week of our elopement, but knew we wanted to take a trip for our honeymoon,” Chasidi said. “This past year, December 2021, we were able to travel to Hawaii. “We spent a week adventuring the beautiful island of Maui. Our entire trip was nothing short of magical. I’m so thankful that my journey through life can be shared with Joe. I am most thankful for our ability to always laugh with one another. When you marry your best friend, every day can be a wonderful day. When you marry someone who is compassionate, and funny every day starts and ends with a smile. After all, isn’t that what life is all about, to be happy? To spread happiness? I’m glad I’ve got mine.” In the Washburn area, another beaming bride decided to have her special day shared with her and her husband alone in an elopement in Broken Bow, Oklahoma, on June 12, 2021. This is the story of Matt and Marissa Freeman, or self proclaimed, ultimate Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani love story. Their journey started long before they fell in love with each other. Marissa said the two worked together — sort of. “We worked in transportation and we really didn’t meet until he started training for management,” she said. “I had worked nights and he worked days, so we didn’t know much of each other before. He was a quiet guy, but I did notice his smile.” Over time Matt became less of a quiet guy and the couple grew to know each other.
ConnectionMO.com | Connection Magazine | 13
Matt and Marissa Freeman on September 15, 2020, in the Rocky Mountains, on the day they got engaged.
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“It was over a year after we met that we actually started talking,’ Marissa said. “Once he started to open up more, I really noticed his personality. We would have lunch dates together by a pond and then we started taking our children out for family hikes on Sundays. “It wasn’t just for us, but our love involved the children too.” While a blended family is a beautiful thing, there are certain challenges involved in it as well. “We did things a little backward,” Marissa said. “Becoming a blended family of 8, his three and my three children, so six kids total, was definitely one of the hardest if not the hardest thing that either of us have ever done.” But, the family persevered and eventually Matt had a plan that Marissa knew nothing about. “We took a week long adventure to Colorado backpacking in the Rocky Mountains hunting for elk,” Marissa said. “It was the opening day of deer season in Missouri, and we were in Colorado! I had never gone backpacking or been to the Rocky Mountains.”
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On the first day the couple decided to hike a mountain 6 miles in and 6 miles out. “He promised me beer and pizza when we were done with the eight-hour day,” Marissa said. “So, that is what I kept telling myself, pizza and beer, but I puked when we got to the end. I had never pushed my body that hard.” There were a lot of people on that hike, so Matt was excited about the next day’s adventure. “On our second day, September 15, 2020, he took me over 13,000 feet above elevation in Vail, Colorado,” Marissa said. “On top of White Mountain he asked me to be in his life forever. “After the proposal, on the way back we saw a bear 10 feet from us in the trail. Things got intense, I have never been so scared.” From a moment of love to a moment of fear, Matt and Marissa knew they would have each other to count on for the rest of their lives. “It was so late by the time the hike ended we decided to sleep in the truck that night,” she said. “We hid our bows under the truck so they wouldn’t get stolen. But, in the morning he forgot they were there and when he backed up, he ran them over.” In the stressful, yet slightly comedic moment the two worked together to get the bows repaired. “All I could think about was our first trip together in Broken Bow, Oklahoma,” Marissa said. “I said, I think this is a sign that we should get married in Broken Bow.” Matt found the sign less satisfying, but eventually agreed. “I was talking to my co-workers and realized one of them was an ordained minister,” Marissa said. “I asked if he would marry us if we set him and his wife up in a cabin, and he said yes.” The decision to elope was based in the love that the Freemans share together. 16 | February 2022
“We absolutely love and enjoy each other’s company and doing things together,” Marissa said. “Our love for the outdoors, hunting, and hiking are what keeps us going. “My boots ended up costing more than my dress, planning the wedding didn’t seem like planning because everything just fell into place for us. When it is meant to be, it is just meant to be.” The Freemans were married on June 12, 2021. “Matt told me, ‘This is for me and you, it’s not for anyone else,” she said. “This was my first and only marriage and we wanted it to be perfect and private. We decided on Broken Bow, Oklahoma, because it was the very first trip that we ever took together when we first met.” Marissa said Broken Bow, Oklahoma, is a hidden gem on the edge of the Ouachita Forest that is absolutely beautiful with breathtaking scenery.
“We got married in a cabin out on Broken Bow Lake,” she said. “We decided to do something a little different and special to us – we made our own wedding cake.
“This surprisingly turned out amazing. It was my husband’s idea, and I thought he was crazy. He’s the cook and I am not, but it turned out so memorable and perfect, and ended being the best part of our wedding day. It meant so much to both of us.” When it comes to planning a wedding, it is clear both of these beautiful brides have some advice in common. Make your wedding day about you and your partner, and the family you aim to build. Whatever that may look like, whatever journey you have been on together, the love shared is for you and your family. “I, Chasidi, take you, Joe, as my friend and love, beside me and apart from me, in laughter and in tears, in conflict and tranquility, asking that you be no other than yourself, loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not yet know, in all the ways that life may find us — I do.” •
Husband and wife, Matt and Marissa Freeman on their wedding day in Broken Bow, Oklahoma on June 12, 2021.
ConnectionMO.com | Connection Magazine | 17
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Love Advice
Tyler and Sarah Swope were high school sweethearts and posed for engagement photos.
Now married for 10 years, the Swopes have a full family with three children
Tyler and Sara Swope; married 10 years Always tell the truth. Communication is key in marriage, and allowing yourself the safety to be authentic and real with your spouse is a huge part of building the trust and intimacy that make a marriage last. Also, marriage is work. Without maintenance, any structure will start to fail. Find a support system and work together to keep your relationship strong.
ConnectionMO.com | Connection Magazine | 19
Matt and Karen Segsworth on their wedding day, 11 years ago.
Today, the Segsworths make Monett home with their two children
Andy and Michelle Goodson in their early days of dating.
Married 20 years, the Goodsons are focused on marriage for life.
Matt and Karen Segsworth; married 11 years
Andy and Michelle Goodson; married 20 years
We suggest couples figure out what makes the other person feel loved, realizing it’s probably not how you most feel loved. Go on dates, and just spend time together. Make efforts to show interest and try things that are important to the other person. Communicate, communicate, communicate, and keep trying even when it gets frustrating. Continue learning about each other and be willing to change together.
Try to always keep your marriage a priority. Once kids come along, it can be hard. When our kids were young, we often reminded them they would leave some day, so we needed to go on dates and trips without them. We attend marriage conferences and events. We want to make sure the love is still there when the kids are gone and we’re in the next stage of our life. We got married to spend our lives together, so we work toward that goal.
20 | February 2022
Clif and Dee Crocket at their wedding 48 years ago.
J.D. and Pam Mayo on their wedding day.
Today, the Crockets celebrate the family that has grown through children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.
Clif and Dee Crockett; married 48 years All our years of marriage have been in ministry where the Church has been a huge part of our personal and professional identity. We have lived and breathed our calling. One of the greatest gifts that a couple can possess is to be “on the same page,” to have a common vision of who they are and what they’re called to do. Throughout our ministry we’ve been gifted with very deep relationships with other clergy and laity. Marriage isn’t a “solo” thing. Those friendships have served us well in both the good and the difficult times. God has blessed us with those people who have been invaluable in our marriage. Also, we have two daughters, six grandchildren, one step grandchild, and two great-grandchildren. We moved back to Monett in retirement to be close to many members of our family. It’s been a zoo, but a good one for the most part. We never know who or how many are going to walk through our door at any given time! Not what we expected, but we realize that God has gifted us with all these people. They bless us and we have the opportunity to bless them, help guide them, and encourage them in their life’s journey.
Celebrating 50 years of marriage for the Mayos.
J.D. and Pam Mayo; married 50 years There is no perfect marriage and there will be arguments, always remember to compromise and make up. We knew when we got married back in 1971 we were both marrying for life. I (Pam) grew up in a broken home and J.D. grew up in a stable home with both his father and mother. I knew I did not want our kids to experience what I did and J.D. knew he did want our kids to be raised like he was. So, with that as our goal we were able to work through our problems as they came along and keeping the lines of communication open.
ConnectionMO.com | Connection Magazine | 21
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Healthy Connection Payton Jobe and Faith Herron completed the Dietetic Internship program at Cox College. Payton enjoys swimming, cooking/creating new recipes, and playing with her dog, Brindle. Faith enjoys experimenting with new recipes, playing tennis, and reading classic literature.
by Faith Herron
by Payton Jobe
PART ONE:
Importance of Routine
H
umans are naturally creatures of habit. It allows for structure and organization in our lives. Having a routine, especially during a pandemic, can make a positive impact on one’s health. This two-part article will provide information regarding the importance of having a routine and ideas on how you can implement a routine in your life that is realistic for you.
People who do not have set routines in their life may suffer from increased stress levels, poor sleep, poor eating habits, inactivity, and poor time management. This can lead to increased inflammation in the body and increased risk of becoming ill or developing chronic diseases later in life. Starting a routine and implementing healthy habits in our lives now
could make a large impact. The topics these articles will focus on include sleep, stress, food, and physical activity habits for a healthier lifestyle.
SLEEP In America it seems like being sleep deprived is worn as a badge of honor. The more sleep deprived you are, the harder the worker you are.
Scan the QR Code to read more Healthy Connection ConnectionMO.com/HealthyConnection | Connection Magazine | 23
The saying “I can sleep when I’m dead” is somewhat of a moto for most Americans. However, sleep could be one of the most important aspects in the proper functioning of our bodies. Sleep plays a role in the repair of the heart, blood vessels and muscles. Studies have shown that there is an association between sleep deficiency and diabetes, increased cardiovascular risk, kidney disease, and stroke. The amount of sleep that a person needs varies from person to person. However, the general recommendation for adults 18 and older is 7 to 8 hours of sleep each night. Many believe that napping and sleeping in are strategies to make up for lost sleep. However, this is often not the case. Once lost, the body remains sleep deprived. Naps may help with short-term energy needs but they do not have the same benefits as what you get from overnight sleep. Sleeping in can allow to make up for some sleep, but it can also affect our natural sleep cycles. Therefore, it is important to create positive sleeping habits. This includes creating a sleep schedule with a set time for bed and a set time for waking up every single day. Many phones now have “sleep focus” and “sleep schedules” to cue you to wind down and to prevent calls and notifications from keeping you up. Having a relaxing bedtime routine can help you wind down and fall asleep quicker. Tracking how many hours of sleep you get each night can be beneficial
24 | February 2022
for determining any underlying problems as well.
STRESS Many Americans struggle with high levels of stress in their lives. Uncontrolled stress is another contributor to many chronic health problems such as high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, and obesity. It is important that we identify the signs and symptoms of how stress affects us to be able to better manage our stress. Keeping a journal that describes your symptoms and how you feel when you are stressed is one way to help identify triggers. Allowing yourself “me time” is another way that we can attempt to reduce stress in our lives. This can include alone time where you sit quietly, meditate, or listen to calming music.
During this time, you should avoid distractions such as cell phones, specifically social media platforms. There is an association between social media use and increased levels of stress. There are many stress management techniques out there including websites, apps and health care professionals that could be beneficial as well. Creating an everyday routine could also help reduce stress levels. As said at the beginning of this article, humans are creatures of habit and we don’t like change. Veering away from our usual routine can also be a major cause of stress. We will continue this conversation about the importance of establishing a routine in next month’s issue. •
Show Me Hope @ The Clark Center 2021 was rough. Show Me Hope at the Clark Center is connected to resources for financial help, mental health help, and self-care. The program is free and confidential. Programs are created to assist our communities with the ability to recover from the grief, uncertainty and frustration of recent times. We are here to listen and help. Anyone in the community with concerns about their recovery, or that of another individual or group is encouraged to call and seek assistance. Points of focus for Show Me Hope are resiliency, self-care and experiencing loss. Here 24/7...... Show Me Hope, call or text: 1-800-985-5990 Clark Center: 417-235-6610
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ConnectionMO.com | Connection Magazine | 25
Dr. Andres and Naty Apostol both grew up in the Isabela province of the Philippines, but didn’t meet until they were both studying in America on exchange programs. They were married in Chicago on Oct. 15, 1966, and raised five children in Monett. Dr. Andres and Naty Apostol show off custom-made aprons with photos of each of their 13 grandchildren. The couple said the secret to a successful relationship is “tender love and care.”
The Apostols OF MONETT
26 | February 2022
The Apostol home in Monett houses an impressive collection of photos, awards, trophies, diplomas and other mementos from Dr. Andres, Naty, their five children and 13 grandchildren.
56 years of family success
S
hakespeare said “Journeys end in lovers meeting,” and for one Monett couple, a long journey from the Philippines resulted in a love that has stood the test of time and helped shape the lives of some renowned Monett graduates. Dr. Andres and Naty Apostol have been married 56 years and raised five children in Monett and are now the proud grandparents of 13 grandchildren, eight boys and five girls. The Apostol children include the oldest, Joe, John, Jonathan, Jim and Jennifer, each accomplished in their respective fields, whether it be medicine – John is a cardiologist, molecular biology – Jim’s chosen profession – or education – Jonathan currently serves as principal at Monett Middle School. Stepping into the Apostol home in Monett is like stepping into a museum, with photos, paintings and diplomas chronicling the lives of a happy family striving for success. But the connection between Dr. Andres and Naty stretches back in time to the 1960s, when two exchange
Story by Mike Gervais
students from the Philippine province of Isabela met by chance in Chicago, Ill., and fell in love. “She was a nurse in Chicago, and I was at Mt. Carmel Mercy Hospital in Detroit,” Dr. Andres said. “Her aunt heard I was going to Chicago, and asked me to bring her a purse, so I went and when she came to the door, I saw her and thought, ‘oh my god. This is my beauty, my partner.” Naty said she was excited even before meeting her doctor. “At first, I was just excited because this doctor was coming to see me,” she said. “But then we met, and I found out that we came from the same province.” In fact, before coming to the states, the-not-yet doctor Andres and Naty lived about 40 miles apart. Half a world away, when they finally met, it was love at first sight. The young couple dated, something that was less common in the Philippines than in America. “Back home, there’s no such thing as a date. You have to go ask her parents,” Dr. Andres said. But finding young love in
America didn’t end the couple’s traditional values. When the time came, Dr. Andres said he went the more traditional route, and his parents met with hers to propose. And when the time came that the couple would be married, Naty worked with the Catholic Priest who officiated the ceremony for two weeks to teach him the traditions from her home country. She said he continued to serve as officiant for Filipino weddings in the area after their ceremony. The Apostols were married Oct. 15, 1966, in Detroit, Mich., at which time Naty joined Andres in Detroit. After their residencies, with Naty working as a nurse and Dr. Andres as a physician, the couple considered moving back to the Philippines, but when Richard Nixon invited resident aliens to remain and work in the U.S., they decided to remain here and seek citizenship. And when the time came that the couple wanted to start a family, they looked around the streets of Detroit and decided to seek a smaller, safer community.
ConnectionMO.com | Connection Magazine | 27
Dr. Andres and Naty Apostol will be celebrating 57 years of marriage this year. The couple met in the 1960s in Chicago, and moved to Monett in 1971 to raise their family, which grew to five children.
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“We moved from the big city to Monett because that wasn’t the place to raise kids, we said, we’re going to try it for one year, but in less than a year, Naty had gone out and befriended all the local lawyers and doctors and nurses and I knew we were staying,” Andres said. And that’s when the children began, and the children, Naty and Andres agree, were their measure of success. “It’s about tender love and care,” Andres said. “And care for your children.” By that metric, it would be hard to argue about the Apostol family. Naty was able to step back from her career to raise their five children. The family met weekly to discuss house life, academics and more, and each of the children grew, attended college, launched successful careers and started families of their own. To this day, the ever-growing Apostol family gathers each year, often for holidays, to share in their success and bask in the love that crossed oceans to form their family. Growing up, John Apostol saw firsthand how his parents made a 50-year-plus relationship work and thrive. “It’s a give and take, a compromise, if you will,” he said. “My parents are so strong willed, and they both came from a foreign country and had to lean on each other. It was a good recipe for their success.” •
Parenting Column Meagan Ruffing is a freelance parenting journalist and mental health counselor. She hopes you will join her in her efforts to create a more welcoming February where loving yourself becomes second nature.
by Meagan Ruffing
How To Love Yourself What do you do when life throws you a curveball? Some of you might move out of the way. Some of you might try to catch the ball, and some of you might find yourself getting hit by the ball. Recently, life has thrown me a curveball and I got hit. In light of these hard times, I am devoting this month’s column to teaching others how to love themselves. As a mental health counselor, I work with clients every day who are doing their best to walk through life’s hard moments, and I thought, some of the things I teach my clients might help my readers, too. Let’s welcome February with our arms wide open and our eyes set on taking care of ourselves.
Journal. I found a few journals that I’ve really enjoyed working through and would love to share them with you. The first one is called, “SelfLove Workbook for Women: Release Self-Doubt, Build Self-Compassion, and Embrace Who You are.” The second one is called “52-Week Mental Health Journal.” I have just
started both of these but so far, they have proven to be helpful in slowing down my thoughts and being more mindful with myself. *Links at bottom of article.
Bubble Baths. February
is the perfect month to go through your cabinets and use up your body wash, bubble bath, and bath bombs. My girls and I have enjoyed going through our stash of products and trying new ones from Amazon. I found some called Lagunamoon Bath Bombs for Kids, and they have tiny trinkets inside. My daughters get a thrill out of relaxing and collecting these cute, little toys.
Dinner with Friends.
I have scheduled more dinners with friends this past month than I think I have in the past few years. Surrounding yourself with people who lift you up and love you, is a great way to stay positive. It’s important to sit in the feelings of whatever it is that you are going through, but it is equally important to lean on others when you need support. Consider reaching out to your support system and meeting up for a bite to eat.
Rest. This might be one of
the hardest things I have tried to do during this difficult time. When your mind seems to race and you’re left with thoughts of what if, what could have been, and what happened, it can be hard to quiet the noise. I encourage you to take a few deep breaths. Place one hand on your heart and the other hand on your stomach. Feel the rise of your chest as you breathe in and the sinking of your stomach as you breathe out. Repeat this at least three times, and try to do it each time you find yourself battling negative thoughts.
Stay Busy. If I were being
graded in this area, I can tell you right now, that I would get an A. I have kept myself and my children so busy that I am pretty sure they are thinking their mom has lost her mind. In all seriousness, I have gotten really good at planning out my nights and weekends to allow
ConnectionMO.com/ParentingColumn | Connection Magazine | 29
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I have always enjoyed writing and sending snail mail. I have found that when I am struggling with something, I tend to want to pour into others. It makes me feel good and it takes the focus off my present pain. I love to use pretty stationery and washi tape to dress things up a bit. This has also been a really neat way for my kids to see how I stay connected with friends and family who live out of state.
Netflix. You didn’t think I
would write this entire column without mentioning Netflix, did you? When it’s hard to quiet your mind, sometimes a good distraction is a series you love or a new movie you’ve been wanting to watch. I love binge watching any type of cooking or baking shows and sometimes, it gives me the oomph I need to get up and try a new recipe.
See a Counselor. I am a
huge fan of mental health checkins. If you have a therapist, keep your weekly appointments until you feel like you can space them out more. If you don’t have a therapist, check with your insurance company to see where you could go. Secret counselor tip: If you don’t have insurance, find a practice that has interns. Interns work for free or offer sliding scales. I wish I had known this many years ago. •
30 | February 2022
Scan the QR Code to read more
Cutest Kid Gavin Carnes, 9-month-old son of Erin and Zack Carnes of Monett. Photo courtesy of T. White Photography
Congrats
GAVIN
Email your child’s photo to:
connection@monett-times.com Photos should be sent in the original JPG format at the highest resolution possible. Remember to include your child’s name, parent’s name, age, city and your contact information. The contest is open to children ages 10 and younger. The photos submitted will be used for the sole purpose of this contest.
ConnectionMO.com | Connection Magazine | 31
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Date Night
by Mike Gervais
12 months, 12 dates, countless memories
O
ne year ago, though I was fairly new to Monett and brand new to my desk at The Monett Times, I pitched an idea for Connection Magazine that would put my fiancé Kat and I in the spotlight – something I typically shy away from. Little did I know I would be on the hook for a regular series of columns that would have me sharing some personal moments with our readers – and creating lasting memories for Kat and I. It all started as staff here at the paper sat down to brain storm ideas for the February edition of Connection magazine, I began thinking of Valentine’s Day content. At that time, much like today, one thing at the forefront of everyone’s mind was the COVID-19 pandemic and ongoing lockdowns prior to widespread availability of vaccines. For Christmas of 2020, just a couple short weeks before our meeting about the February Connection article, I had purchased a subscription box for romantic date nights for
Christmas 2020 Kat and I so we could continue to have exciting adventures together in the safety and comfort of our own home. So, in that meeting, I pitched the idea of writing an article on the subscription boxes as a safe date night alternative. That initial article went over well, and I was asked if I would be willing to do a monthly column recounting our date night adventures. Kat and I had already decided we wanted to extend our subscription to the date night boxes, so we agreed. I liked the idea because I thought it would be good content for the magazine, and Kat has often said she likes the columns because I am forced to date her, and she ends up with a nice glossy memento from our in-home adventures. Our first date night was Christmas themed – appropriate, considering it was a Christmas gift – and we were tasked with creating our own unique bulbs to hang on our Christmas tree. The bulbs were clear plastic containers for love letters that
we wrote to one another and hung on the tree. Those bulbs remained unread and packed away with all our other Christmas decorations until Christmas morning 2021, when we opened our gifts and our ornaments and relived our first date night adventure and reflected on our memories of 2020. Once again, I find myself reflecting. Over the past year we have completed at least one date night subscription box each month. ConnectionMO.com | Connection Magazine | 33
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We have played card games together, burned fondu, tried our hand at pottery, wood burning, poetry, painting and baking. And each new box came with a unique twist. When we were tasked with baking a cake, I was blindfolded and Kat had to direct me without words. When our subscription box came with a wood-burning iron, we had to create a keepsake box for mementos from our lives. When we were tasked with taking a day trip, we used it as an opportunity to scout wedding locations. Our date nights had us collaborating on creative projects, thinking seriously about the qualities we love in each other and taking care to create crafts that have sentimental meaning or significance for each of us. That’s not to say it was all perfect. I found myself frustrated trying to form a clay pot. We burned a chocolate fondu set and nearly started a fire. We created uncountable messes with various crafts. But each month we came together for quality time.
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As the run of this monthly column comes to a close, and I look back on a year of date night adventures with my true love, it hits home that in a few short months we will be officially married, and I can’t wait to spend my life making messes and enjoying the time we have together simply because there is no one else I’d rather be with. I have been fortunate that each date night has turned into a love letter for Kat published in the Connection magazine, and we have both been fortunate to hear positive feedback from readers who have enjoyed taking this adventure with us. •
34 | February 2022
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ConnectionMO.com | Connection Magazine | 35
Built on Solid Ground
Lillian Schad &
Mark McMillin, left, and Lillian Schad go over some of the vintage records listed in the books for Lutheran Fire and Lightning Insurance Company, which started in 1933 after five area farmers were unable to obtain insurance on their homes and livestock.
Lutheran Fire and Lightning Insurance Company
M
ark McMillin is in awe of Lillian Schad, a nonagenarian who was educated, employed, married, seen loved ones birthed and buried, and still lives on in the same Stones Prairie community in which she was born. “She is a treasure,” he said. That’s because Lillian knows nearly everyone in the area that is centered around the church and schools that comprise the heart of the small community, where the Lutheran Fire and Lightning Insurance Company was 36 | February 2022
born in 1933. The company serves Lutheran families throughout the state. “There were five area farmers that went together to form the company after they were not able to get insurance in town,” McMillin said. “Lillian’s dad, Elmer Rupp, was the first secretary and treasurer.” As to the identities of the remaining five founders, it’s in the book. “I wrote everything (about the company) down in a white book,” she said. “I loaned it out and I thought it came back to me, but I can’t find it anywhere.”
Lillian, who remembers not even being in high school, yet loved math and started helping her father in those early days of the business. “I did most of the typing and bookwork,” she said. “I learned that I loved math, and that transitioned into working the books for the company. I started keeping the books and working with daddy when I was 14.” Eventually, the records of policies and holdings transferred from huge handwritten ledger books to typed policies when Lillian was in high school.
Story by Melonie Roberts
She recalled some of the more amusing incidents that occurred when she was growing up in the area. “Some of the school boys tied the school master up in the outhouse and attached the rope to his car,” she said. “Then they took the car for a joyride. “They pulled all kinds of stunts,” she said. “We had the best friends. We played together, ate together and grew up together. We were all the best of friends.” But when it came to the business, Lillian recalls some distant memories. “Nearly everyone had the same amount of coverage on their houses, goods, implements and livestock,” she said. “I remember a claim for a herd of cattle that got struck by lightning while they were standing in a walnut grove,” she said. You didn’t just hear of stuff like that. I don’t remember how many cattle there were, but they looked like they had just dropped one on top of another. It’s in the book.” In addition to helping keep the books, Lillian helped on the family farm, working a team of horses in the fields before her father eventually purchased a tractor with steel-wheels, called lugs, instead of tires. After she married her husband, Oscar Schad, and had children of her own, she continued working in the insurance business, as well as arising at 4 a.m. to milk 20 head of cattle, feed calves, hogs and chickens, make breakfast for the family, get the kids off to school, and all the other daily chores associated with living on a 162acre working farm. “I’d get to the office around 9 a.m. and sometimes I would bring work home with me,” she said. “I’d spend some evenings working right at this kitchen table until 10 or 11 p.m.”
In those early days, Lillian earned $18 per month for her efforts. “We typed everything, increases, decreases, losses — everything,” she said. “I retired from Lutheran Fire and Lightning in 1998 after more than 50 years. The retirement party was held at Biermann’s (Restaurant) in Freistatt.” At about that time, Mark McMillin was winding down his military career in the United States Army, finally retiring in 2004. “I had a job offer in Germany,” he said. “I had a job offer in Bosnia. And all I wanted to do was put on overalls, be nine years old again and farm. I got home and my mom and Richard told me I needed to get my insurance license.” McMillin started helping with the company in 2005. “I never planned on doing this,” he said. “It’s a family thing. My parents showed me the books and I decided I could do this and farm. My whole approach is to treat people how I would treat my grandma. I strive to do that every time someone calls me.” And call they do. “I’m here for my policyholders 24/7,” he said. “I had a guy in the hospital who was facing surgery the following day call me in the middle of the night needing to make changes to his policy. He thought he was going to get an answering machine. I answered the phone and made the changes and wished him healing prayers on his surgery. Fortunately, this was before Facetime, because I wasn’t wearing khakis like Jake from State Farm.” Another time, Mark and his bride, Connie, were vacationing in Louscha, Germany. “I made sure my phone could make and take international calls,” he
said. “I got a call from a farmer wanting to add a combine to his policy. He didn’t ask where I was, and I didn’t tell him. We talked for 15 minutes about the weather and the crops and the combine coverage he needed. All the while, my wife was melting down because she knew it was costing $1 per minute to talk to him. I let people talk as much as they want.” McMillin also checks to ensure each policyholder has the coverage they actually need. “Sometimes, you find that someone has insured grandma’s chicken house and I might suggest that they decrease their coverage,” he said. “I ask if their decision is based on an emotional attachment or if it’s a moneymaker. If they still want to insure something based on their emotional attachment, that’s ok.” But people shouldn’t try to slide on the facts in order to get coverage. “I turned down a referral call from a guy who couldn’t get insurance elsewhere,” McMillin said. “The first thing I asked was if he was a Lutheran, and he answered no. I asked if any of his family members were Lutheran, and again he said no. I told him I couldn’t cover him, because we were a fraternal company serving Lutherans and their families since 1933. He asked what if he called back and told me he was. I said, ‘Then you’re a liar, and we don’t insure those either.’ “The only reason I’m an insurance agent is because I deal with good people, honest people, and hard-working Americans who built this country,” he said. “There are times I have to call policyholders and remind them of their claims in order to get them to finish their paperwork.” McMillin is extremely proud of the Freistatt Fire Department’s recent re-
ConnectionMO.com | Connection Magazine | 37
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ceipt of the Fire Department of the Year award from Missouri Association of Mutual Insurance Companies (MAMIC). “They had a housefire from a lightning strike,” he said. “They went and hot-wired one of Lyle Youngberg’s front loaders to move a propane tank before it exploded, saving numerous claims and possible loss of life and limb. The folks at MAMIC told me the only thing that would have beat that was if someone had saved a busload of burning babies.” Mark was also awarded the Distinguished Service Award for the year. Notably, both Schad and McMillin have loved serving the people of their community. “Awhile back, one of the neighbors went to check his mail across the highway during harvest season and was hit and killed,” McMillin said. “The neighbors all pulled their combines from their fields and came and harvested his crops so the family could focus on what they needed to do and not worry about it. Those are the people I love serving. Those are the people I came home to. You will not find neighbors like that anywhere else in the world.” “My whole life, from birth until now, has centered around this church and this community,” Schad said. “I couldn’t have asked for a better life.” •
Artist Spotlight:
Flyin Buzzards Bluegrass Band
F
or anyone who was born and raised in the Ozarks, there are certain things that are deeply part of our culture. Neighbors help neighbors. Biscuits and gravy are standard breakfast fare. And not one of us can hold back from toe tapping when bluegrass music plays. More than two decades ago, a bluegrass band was created that continues to perform throughout our area. The Flyin Buzzards Bluegrass Band is recognizable to many locals for their red suspenders and fun bluegrass performances. Over the years, band members have come and gone. But the three original members; Webb Murray, John Amos, and Duane Blevins started after having jam sessions together.
Story by Annie Lisenby Smith
Early on they played several Eagles songs. Current band member Tony Hinkle explained that when one of them commented that they couldn’t “play like the Eagles, but we can soar like the buzzards,” the band name was born. They enjoyed playing with the term “buzzard” because they joked about being middle-aged “ole buzzards.” This led them to settle on the Flyin Buzzards Bluegrass Band. Current members include Hinkle, Wayne Clevenger, Duane Blevins, Bill Harris, and Bo Prock. Together they play a variety of music from many genres including traditional bluegrass, contemporary, new grass, older country, rock-n-roll, folk music and songs from the 1950s and 1960s. For each song, they add their own bluegrass flair.
The Flyin Buzzards Bluegrass Band performed aboard the Arkansas & Missouri Railroad for the annual Santa Train. This event benefits foster families in the area through the For the Kids organization.
Band members have many years of experience playing music, and some will occasionally help with other bands just as other musicians occasionally fill in for the Buzzards. Hinkle explained that they also enjoy sharing their musical talents in other ways. “From time to time we have the opportunity to be involved with music education. We work with the younger generation, giving lessons, or just sitting down with them to jam and have a good time to build their confidence and strengths.”
ConnectionMO.com | Connection Magazine | 39
The Flyin Buzzards have performed many places within the four-state area. They’ve shared their bluegrass music regularly on the Santa Trains with the Arkansas & Missouri Railroad and have been the opening band for the Apple Butter Makin’ Days in Mt. Vernon for the past ten years. They’ve performed at festivals, Independence Day celebrations, churches, and fundraisers and benefits. Anyone who’s visited Roaring River State Park on a Saturday night in the summer has likely had the chance to see the Flyin Buzzards perform. “We’re the host band for Roaring River State Park’s Bluegrass in the Park series,” Hinkle said. “It runs late-April through the end of September. This program has been going on for over 20 years. Ten to twelve are bands cycle through the park, and we play every other Friday 40 | February 2022
night and organize the events.” Performing bluegrass brings a lot of joy to the Flyin Buzzards and their fans. “We love every venue we play. Each one is unique, and we try to put on a special show for each one,” Hinkle said. “We are very appreciative of the festivals, sponsors, and vendors that get involved to make the events happen and provide us an opportunity to bring joy to the people who are most important.” With the mixture of musical styles they perform, band members have written a few original songs. They’ve also performed songs presented to them by friends or supporters. When performing, the band is open to requests and particularly enjoys playing songs that people have grown up with or that bring back memories of days gone by. Overall, the Flyin Buzzards
In 2021, the Flyin Buzzards performed regularly at the Roaring River State Park summer Bluegrass in the Park concert series. The band helps organize bands for the series. focus on performing songs that make people laugh and enjoy their time at the concerts. Most of the members of the band are self-taught and never took formal lessons. That doesn’t stop each of them having the ability to play at least three different instruments. Hinkle explained that they have a good knowledge of different aspects of music from basic rhythms to blues to Cajun and many styles in between. “We add our own twist using instruments and musical arrangements that fit standard bluegrass instruments.” As a band, the Flyin Buzzards are more than just band mates. They’re like family. That family includes near-
Performing on stage at the Neosho Fall Festival in 2021. ly 30 musicians considered “honorary buzzards” and all their fans. “We realize that we are but one group out of the many, many bands in the fourstate area,” Hinkle said. “Many other groups share our philosophy and, most important, it’s not the group that lives on, but the brotherhood, the family, and the friends that come together to play and enjoy the music.” With their blend of quality bluegrass and unscripted comedy, the Flyin Buzzards always put on a great show. “Our goal is that we may bring a smile, a laugh, or a blessing to someone,” Hinkle said. “We all enjoy playing music and, of course, we all love having fun. We know the quality of the music is not always perfect, but we have fun, make mistakes, and move on.” The Buzzards have changed over
“Our goal is that we may bring a smile, a laugh, or a blessing to someone.” the years, including the passing of founding members Webb Murray and John Amos, but their goals stay the same. Hinkle said, “The Flyin Buzzards are not just about one person or someone or who’s best, it’s about three ole Buzzards (which has grown to five now) flyin’ high for the Lord and bringing joy, laughter, and memories of happy times.” For anyone who’d like to catch the Flyin Buzzards Bluegrass Band, they are currently booking dates for 2022.
They are already booked to perform at Pam’s Place in Seneca on February 19 at 7:00 p.m. and again later in mid-November. Prior to COVID, the band played nearly 100 shows per year. They finished 2021 with almost 60 shows. For 2022 bookings, contact Wayne Clevenger at 417442-7480. To find a Flyin Buzzards Bluegrass Band show, fans can follow their Facebook page for updates and schedules. •
ConnectionMO.com | Connection Magazine | 41
Cutest Pet Jake and Katie fur babies of Russell and Patty Clark of Golden
Jake & Katie Email your pet’s photo to: connection@monett-times.com If you think your furry or feathered friend is the cutest in the area, let us know! We invite you to share a photo of your pet to be featured in Connection’s Cutest Pet contest. Photos should be sent in the original JPG format at the highest resolution possible. Remember to include your pet’s name, city of residence and your contact information.
42 | February 2022
Rescued, My Favorite Breed
by Christa Stout
Tried and True
T
his month’s visit was to the oldest shelter I had been to: Carthage Humane Society
Carthage Humane was established 74 years ago and is still going strong. 1948 - 2022, what an accomplishment. Sad to say, due to some unexpected interference by Covid, most of the visit was done over the phone! Thanks for being so flexible! Rena, the current director, is continuing with the traditions of great animal care. Carthage Humane is a no kill shelter and all animals get to stay until they are adopted or if hurt or very old, if they can no longer alleviate pain for a pet. And like most animal owners, the decision to euthanize is extremely hard, not taken lightly and thank goodness doesn’t happen frequently. This is also the only shelter I know that has a perpetual care pet cemetery and it is the oldest one in the state. If you would like to visit your pet after he or she has crossed the
rainbow bridge, check into this service. Carthage currently has about 65 adoptable dogs and 29 adoptable cats. Last year, they adopted more than a thousand animals. Wow, I was impressed. Imagine the number of kennels that need to be cleaned daily, the food and water bowls that are washed and the bedding that is replaced. Of course their animal care doesn’t stop there, the animals get daily attention, are exercised, played with and petted. So where do these animals come from? Well, mostly from the Animal Control Officer, who brings animals to the Shelter under an agreement with the city. Carthage does some own-
er surrenders from individuals for a fee, but only when there is space available. When a pet comes in, it is evaluated by their veterinarian, vaccinated, spayed/neutered, and gets flea and heartworm treatment. They do not adopt an animal out without a vet visit. And who takes care of these animals? A few paid employees and as many volunteers as they can get. If you are interested in volunteering, take a look at their website and facebook pages. Many times there is a call going out to volunteer. From personal experience, I can promise you it will be a satisfying experience. The pets are so grateful for the attention and they will pay you back hundredfold with their affection.
Scan the QR Code to read more Rescued, My Favorite Breed online ConnectionMO.com/RescuedMyFavoriteBreed | Connection Magazine | 43
With all of this going on, I asked how they manage their funding. I was surprised to learn that none of the funding is from the National Humane Society. The association with the Humane Society is simply a certification process. Rena tells me that the City pays a monthly fee for the services the Humane Society performs, but that it doesn’t come close to paying for the operating costs of the shelter. Rena does many grant applications, but these are generally for a specific project, i.e. an addition to the kennel area, or some other major improvements. Rena did tell me that they are so fortunate in having a good base of donating supporters who will generally come through when some funding or food or supplies are needed. If you ever thought of donating to a shelter, here is your chance, truly any amount is much appreciated, and not just monetary, but take a look at their website for a list of supplies needed. Also, donating is a good teaching opportunity for your children. The pets are in need of their support and possibly their volunteering. Rena told me they are very grateful to Blue Buffalo for their donation of dry dog food. But wet dog food, wet and dry cat food and non-clumping litter must be purchased or donated. They are also listed on Smile.Amazon,com, where every purchase made on Amazon triggers a small percentage that is returned the shelter selected.
44 | February 2022
Here are some of the links to the Carthage Humane Society:
website
And if you are looking for a companion, take a look at these wonderful pets available at the Carthage Humane Society:
BARKLEY: Barkley is a beautiful choco-
late lab. He came to Carthage Humane over 400 days ago from a Neosho citizen who found him and could not locate his owner. Barkley is dog selective and doesn’t care for cats, so he would do well as an only child. He is house trained and loves to play fetch. He suffers from Kennel stress due to being in the shelter too long. If you take the time to earn his trust, he will be your best friend forever. Isn’t he gorgeous?
CHIP: Chip, the cat, is a playful and
precious young fellow who can’t wait to find his own home. I got to play with him a bit because he kept reaching through the kennel to get my attention, and he was very gently doing so.
CEDAR: Cedar is the shelter’s longest resi-
dent dog at over 500 days, and no one wants that title. He is good with other dogs, but afraid of cats. He has grown up in the shelter, being a baby when he came to us. He is very playful, and loves giving kisses and being petted. He is good on a leash and knows sit. The only thing he needs is a family of his own. Can’t you picture him in your home?
Written by Annie Lisenby Smith
A
s Patty put her minivan in park, she thought that she was a lot like her minivan. Dinged but dependable and with a wide back end. She flipped down the visor mirror and pulled out the new tube of lip gloss that her daughter had given her. “It’s the new thing, Mom,” Audrey had said as she’d smeared Patty’s lips last night. This whole escapade was Audrey’s fault, Patty thought. The gloss was slimed across her lips making her feel like she had a fruity oil slick across her mouth. The red did look nice, she had to admit that. It made her lips look fuller and much younger than their 68 years. Stepping into the night air, Patty pulled her cardigan sweater tighter against the cool breeze that meant winter would be coming soon. That would mean days of staying home, out of the cold that aggravated the arthritis in her
Senior Single Mingle knee. So much time alone, hours and days to fill. Opening the door to the Presbyterian church, Patty was hit with a blast of warm air that smelled of cheap coffee and homemade cookies. Having always been a Baptist, Patty never had reason to go to this church until Audrey signed her up for the “Senior Single Mingle” event. A plump woman with bright pink lipstick on her teeth immediately greeted Patty and introduced herself as the pastor’s wife, Sarah. Taking Patty’s hand, she dragged her to the sign in-table as though she was afraid Patty might make a run for it. “You’re new,” Sarah said in a sing-song voice. “This is only our third Senior Single Mingle. A lot of gentlemen showed up,” Sarah said conspiratorially with a nod. “I’m glad to see such a lovely lady join our festivities.”
ConnectionMO.com | Connection Magazine | 45
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46 | February 2022
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Before she knew it, Patty had a nametag stuck to her navy-blue cardigan. With a gentle shove from Sarah, Patty found herself in the Fellowship Hall where tables had been set up and decorated in a somewhat festive manner. Crepe paper was draped around the room and balloons and small flower arrangements were set at each table. Jazz music played softly from a boom box. Never one to enjoy the spotlight, Patty’s skin began to crawl as eyes turned to her. She felt like she was being sized up like a bull at an auction. Standing a little taller, she brushed her hair off her shoulders and she walked to the refreshment table. Before she could fill her coffee cup, a man who looked to be in his 80s sidled up next to her. Patty smiled politely as the deeply wrinkled man stood silently watching her top her coffee off with an extra packet of sugar. “My daughter keeps telling me that I shouldn’t eat so much sugar, but coffee isn’t coffee without a little sweetness, right?” “I’m Virgil,” the man thrust out his hand with a smile that revealed shining dentures that looked a little too big for his mouth. “My daughter died last year. Cancer,” he said with a shrug. “Got my wife in ’93 too. They both did chemo treatments, but it didn’t help.” By the time Virgil was done with a vivid description of his daughter’s death, his wife’s death, his hip replacement surgery, and something to do with his prostate, Patty had drank two cups of coffee and eaten three chocolate chip cookies that were slightly burned on the bottoms. “Now, that hip doctor wasn’t so bad. When I had my knees replaced, boy, oh, boy, that doctor was so green I should have known to never let him near me,” Virgil laughed. “Excuse me, where’s the ladies room?” Patty cut in knowing that she’d
be stuck listening to Virgil all night if she didn’t find an escape. “It’s over in the corner there,” Virgil pointed. “Come back after and I’ll tell you about my new dentist. He’s my nephew, but he does great work!” Dropping her Styrofoam coffee cup in the garbage bin, Patty made a bee line to the restroom. At the sinks that stood in a row along one wall Patty took a deep breath, the scent of industrial soap tickling her nose. The door burst open letting in the sound of lingering conversations. A tall, thin woman with surprisingly few wrinkles smiled at her. Her face didn’t move much with the expression. Probably she does the Botox shots Audrey told Patty about. “Oh, heavens, you got cornered by Virgil,” the woman smiled. She rested her perfectly manicured hand on her raspberry, tailored suit coat and shook her head. “He’s been trying for years to catch a new wife. At least he finally got new teeth,” the woman shrugged. “I’m Nancy, by the way,” she continued, walking to the sink next to Patty’s. “You a widow?” Sighing, Patty nodded. “Bill died six years ago.” Her heart still ached when she thought about him. They’d been married for 43 years. He was her best friend. When Audrey started pushing her to date again, Patty had shrugged her off. No one could replace Bill. “I’m sorry,” Nancy said consoling Patty with a pat on the shoulder. “I’ve been widowed once and divorced twice. It never gets any easier. I only come to these mixers to find another boyfriend to keep me company for a while.” “I think I’m just not ready,” Patty said drying her hands on a crisp paper towel. “Well, you’re not dead yet,” Nancy smiled. “That’s my philosophy. God’s still got us here, so why not have a little fun?” With a wink, Nancy slinked out
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of the bathroom. But Patty waited letting Nancy’s words settle. Audrey had said something similar. Maybe it was time to get back out there. With a new perspective on dating, Patty stepped into the Fellowship Hall and scanned the room. Virgil had captured the attention of a woman with tight, curly hair who repeatedly lifted her hand to adjust her hearing aid. There were other men of different sizes, shapes, and ages scattered around the room. But none of them were Bill. They didn’t have a sparkle in their eyes like Bill did. He had always been quick to laugh at any joke. Audrey does the same thing. Sometimes, Patty still set up a puzzle in the living room like she and Bill had for years. Now it’d take her a week to finish the larger ones that her and Bill would do in a day. “Come on Patty Cakes,” he’d say. “Let’s go exercise our brain power.” “Oh, Bill,” Patty whispered as she felt her confidence evaporate. She turned tail and aimed for the door. Walking past the other senior singles, Patty decided that she didn’t fit in in this place one bit. In the lobby, she caught the toe of her shoe on a wrinkle in the carpet and stumbled, grabbing onto the edge of a card table set up in the corner near the door. Puzzle pieces rained on the carpet as a man sitting behind the table righted it. “Oh heavens,” the man grunted at the pieces scattered across the carpet. “I am so sorry,” Patty said bending to pick up pieces. “I didn’t see you there.” The man smiled. His blue eyes were framed by wrinkles that gave him a look of wisdom. “No problem. That was my goal. Let me help.” The man bent to the ground. “So, you were hiding?” Patty asked as she returned her last handful of pieces. “Absolutely. Have you been in there?” The man pointed with his thumb at the senior single mingle group. Patty laughed, a genuine laugh not like the kind that she did in front of Audrey. Those were completely fake but made Audrey worry about her less “I was just escaping.” “Don’t go too soon. Have a seat,” the man pulled up a folding chair from the corner. “I’m Thomas. Help me with this puzzle. If you leave too soon, your
48 | February 2022
Patty stepped into the Fellowship Hall and scanned the room. ... There were other men of different sizes, shapes, and ages scattered around the room. But none of them were Bill.
son will worry that you didn’t try. Or is it a daughter that forced you to this soiree?” “Daughter,” Patty said smiling as she sat next to Thomas. “You’ve done this before?” “My son drops me off every time he hears of one. I’ve learned to bring a puzzle, find a cozy corner and enjoy some peace and quiet.” “My husband loved puzzles,” Patty said wistfully. “My wife did too,” Thomas replied with a sigh. “Here’s part of the red flower bouquet,” she said adding the piece to the edge of the picture. Thomas nodded in approval. They sat together chatting as they worked on the puzzle. With each piece they placed, they talked about their family, their lost spouses, how the world had changed. Patty found herself laughing frequently at Thomas’ kind, relaxed demeanor. When she placed the final piece, a hint of sadness washed over her knowing that they were finished. “This puzzle was too small,” Thomas said, sitting back in his chair. “I guess I’ll have to bring a 1,500-piece to the single senior mixer at the Senior Center next week, especially if you’re going to be there.” Thomas’ sparkling eyes awoke something in Patty, something she’d forgotten had disappeared six years before. “Then I’ll be sure to bring my good reading glasses,” she said with a wink. Thomas walked Patty to her minivan, and she waited as his son pulled into the parking lot. When she was all buckled in, Patty looked in the rearview mirror and noticed how Audrey’s lip gloss really did make her lips look nice, or maybe it was just the smile that she couldn’t wipe away. •
Advertiser Index 417 Aesthetics...........................35 Aire Serv........................................ 9 Animal Clinic of Monett...........47 Aurora Motor and Machine....34 Barry Lawrence Regional Library .................................................. 3 Bruner Pharmacy.......................35 Cappy Harris Realtors..............15 Carey’s Cassville Florist...........14 Clark Community Mental Health ................................................25 Coldwell Banker........................51 CoxHealth...................................52 CS Bank.......................................28 Doug’s Pro Lube........................38 Dr. Jared Spears, DDS PC.......25 Edward Jones .............................. 5 Factory Direct Mattress............. 2 First State Bank of Purdy........35 Four Seasons Real Estate........32 Freedom Bank of Southern Missouri........................................30 Gantt Steel Buildings................46 Home N Stead...........................22 Kay’s Floral Affair......................15 Ken’s Collision............................46 Lackey Body Works..................30 Lil Boom Town ..........................14 Lutheran Fire & Lightning......... 6 Missouri Farm Bureau..............34 My Best Friends Closet............15 Ozarks Methodist Manor........32 Peppers and Co.........................22 QC Supply, LLC..........................51 Race Brothers............................18 Roaring River Health & Rehab..... ................................................38 Roark Family Health.................22 Rusty Gate Flea Market...........47 Security Bank of Southwest Missouri.......................................32 Shelter Insurance......................18 Someplace Nice LLC.................28 Tisha Trotter................................. 8 Tomblin’s Jewelry......................14 Trogdon Marshall......................46 VisionHealth Eye Center.........49 Whitley Pharmacy....................... 9
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ConnectionMO.com | Connection Magazine | 49
Parting Shot “Cold Birds” by Mica Plummer
“’Hear! hear!’ screamed the jay from a neighboring tree, where I had heard a tittering for some time, ‘winter has a concentrated and nutty kernel, if you know where to look for it.’” — Henry David Thoreau
50 | February 2022
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ConnectionMO.com | Connection Magazine | 51
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