A wise man once proposed that a body in motion tends to stay in motion, and a body at rest tends to stay at rest. Ok…. I know this is an oversimplification of Sir Isaac Newton’s First Law of Motion. I’m a simple man. I have never heard anyone refer to me as a wise man, though I have been called a “wise guy” before. Whether or not you think I may be a wise man or a wise guy, I think I have some wise words.
I propose that a body in motion tends to have better emotion, and a body at rest tends to stay stressed and depressed. This belief that meaningful movement improves mental health and that a sedentary lifestyle harms mental health is founded in scientific studies. Many such studies have been released since the start of the pandemic. A study of 4,500 people living in the UK published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health shows that just doing under 10 minutes of moderate to vigorous exercise every day yields higher cognitive functioning especially in the areas of planning and organization. Published in JAMA Neurology, a study involving 78,000 people aged 40 to 79 revealed that those who averaged nearly 10,000 steps per day were half as likely to develop dementia within the next seven years as those taking less than 9,826 steps per day. The British Journal of Sports Medicine published a review of studies involving 128,119 participants and found that exercise can meaningfully reduce mental health symptoms. This study even suggests that exercise may be more effective in the short-term when it comes to alleviating symptoms of anxiety, stress, and depression compared to treatment by means of counseling and medication. In another meta-analysis of 15 studies, JAMA Psychiatry published that 1.25 hours per week of brisk walking was found to be associated with an 18% lower risk of depression, while increasing the amount to 2.5 hours per week showed a 25% less risk of depression.
As Spring approaches and the weather begins to improve, my encouragement to you is start moving and then keep moving. Once you start moving it is easier to keep moving. Move with a purpose as if you are trying to get out of the rain or as if you are late to a class for just a few minutes every day. Your brain will thank you for it!
2021 was rough. Show Me Hope at the Clark Center is connected to resources for nancial help, mental health help, and self-care. The program is free and con dential. Programs are created to assist our communities with the ability to rec er from the grief, uncertainty and frustration of recent times. We are here to listen and help. yone in community with concerns about their recovery, or that of another individual or group is encouraged to call and seek assistance.
Points of focus for Show Me Hope are resiliency, self-care and experiencing loss. Here 24/7......
w Me Hope, call or text: 1-800-985-5990
Clark Center: 417-235-6610
If you or someone you know needs crisis support now, Call or text 988 Resiliency Community Recovery
Kids! Friends & fun programs are happening this summer at the library. All of us together make the world a more exciting place to live. This summer, we’re celebrating the unique gifts each person brings to the community. The whole family can join in the fun of this year’s Summer Reading Challenge. Keep reading skills growing over the summer and earn prizes to keep motivated. Also, go to fun programs promoting social learning and getting together.
The Summer Reading Challenge starts June 5th. To pre-register, go to blrLibrary.com/src or scan QR code.
Ok, I don’t know about anyone else, but I believe that this time of year is the time to get a fresh start! To get rid of the clutter – physically and mentally. This is not an easy feat for many reasons, but our surroundings, the sunny days and warmer temperatures help give us a kick-start to get going.
Let’s begin with the act of getting rid of the physical clutter. If you are in a relationship, this is not an easy thing to accomplish because you normally will not see eye-to-eye on what is important to keep, and what to get rid of.
My husband and I spent many years going to auctions. It can be very fun, except I don’t believe there has ever been an auction that we attended that something was not purchased by one of us. Purchases that we really wanted at the time. But, now we are at the point that there is not hardly one wall in our home that does not have something sitting in front of it or something hanging on it. It can be a bit overwhelming. I do not care for cleaning and dusting knick knacks so accumulating these items has been a double-edged sword.
I am now at the age that these purchases need to live in another home, but I am afraid that my husband would not agree with the majority of my decisions as to what stays and what goes. So to say the least, I believe my fresh start might be a bit of a struggle, but I will say that a nice clean, organized, uncluttered home would also help me mentally. Just something about it makes you feel like you are breathing fresh air all around you.
This time of year, everything is new. We have seedlings being planted, plant growth, trees budding, (allergies in abundance). This is all part of a fresh start. Watching the garden items that you have planted pop through the ground and the nourishment that they provide. And in our garden, sometimes we have what I call a bit of mystery growth. Something that did not get cleaned out from the year before has taken root again.
You don’t always remember what it could be so usually we have to wait a bit before we know what we are going to be harvesting from that crop!
This is also the time of year where towns are planning their city-wide cleanups and garage sales, so here is a time to join in and make a profit on those items that take up so much room in your home or garage. When small town communities and the Chamber of Commerce engage together, these events are organized and fun. You know the ‘ole saying, ‘one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.’ I believe I might have a lot of treasures for someone other than me.
I challenge each and every one to clean up your act. Get rid of what you don’t need. Organize your home and that will in turn help organize your life! It really does help!
As for me, I will need to try to clean up my act in small bits and pieces. Maybe a small corner at a time, you know those areas that no one notices but me. That way maybe there will be no battle because it won’t be noticed – maybe.
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Connection is published monthly and distributed free in Cassville, Monett, Exeter, Washburn, Pierce City, Mt. Vernon, Aurora, Verona, Roaring River, Eagle Rock, Shell Knob, Purdy, Wheaton, Freistatt, Marionville, Seligman, Golden and other surrounding areas.
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Blecha
Sometimes there’s a story that defies belief, and is almost impossible to tell.
The people involved are bigger than life, the circumstances extraordinary to where those involved could only explain it as divine intervention. And yet it happened.
Author Nancy Bauer witnessed such an event in 2006. What unfolded wrapped itself around her and her husband, Monett High School graduate Blaise Bauer, the son of longtime Monett educator Leonard Bauer. The story had such an impact on Nancy and the entire community of Girard, Kansas, where the Bauers live, that more than a decade later, she had to tell it.
That’s the story of “For Coach: An Inspiring True Story of Tragedy and Triumph,” now available in book form.
This is a story in two parts. It starts with a high school football coach, who led the football program at Girard High School for 22 years. Craig Crespino was the kind of teacher everyone knew because he made a point of knowing
Story by Murray Bishoffthem. A man characterized by high en ergy who always smiled, Crespino had an instinct for recognizing students’ needs. He would take students home if they needed a ride, stop by homes to chat and encourage. He saw football as a vocation through which he could change lives by building community. Not only did he become a revered figure in his town, but across his field. A fellow coach recalled, “On game day, Craig called every coach in southeast Kansas and southwest Missouri to wish them luck.”
Who does that? Craig Crespino did that.
Then one fateful August day, in a freak accident, he was gone.
The second part of the story tells how the football team, now bereft of its leader mere days before their season started, and the community at large, tried to pick up the pieces and move on. Blaise Bauer, a former coach under Crespino at that time the high school principal, saw no option but to step in himself and try to lead the team.
What happened next may seem equally unbelievable. The football team of teenage boys, inspired and eager to honor their friend and mentor, jelled like veterans through heart and what appeared to be oversight from on high, and made a breathtaking run toward the state championship.
“The book is very often mistaken for a biography,” said Nancy. “It’s not. Craig was incredibly important to the community. The events and the season that followed, something supernatural was happening there. God was putting people in place before it happened so our community would be taken care of. Throughout the season there was an overwhelming feeling of God’s providence, what Blaise says was guidance. That bunch of 16to-18 year-olds, they were the heroes of the story. They could have fallen apart, or said football isn’t important anymore. They set out to honor Craig Crespino
and it became such a healing force for our community.”
Nancy began writing down notes as the story developed. She was close to Craig Crespino’s widow, Glenna, and wrote down her stories over time, how her husband rescued a cat one time and spoke about his reservations in getting near electricity; how two weeks before the accident Glenna received a replacement wedding ring from him many years after losing hers; how the players, gathering on the practice field where the fatal accident occurred, noticed an unusual white dove that hung around, watching.
“I felt like somebody would write this story,” Nancy said. “I think Glenna was approached by someone from ESPN, but nothing came of it. Eventually I approached Glenna about finishing it. She encouraged me to tell the story.”
The book shares many personal moments, raw emotions and surprise. Crespino’s son Anthony had an argument with his father on their last interaction that Nancy hesitated to include, but Anthony wanted it in the book as the haunting circumstance reminded him how precious and fleeting life can be.
“I had never authored a book before,” Nancy said. “Learning how to write a book, figuring out what makes it something a reader would enjoy is difficult. The essence of the book is how we all felt that divine providence. That was the challenge.”
Reading the book won’t reveal any grumpy people, or coaches acting like pompous air bags. The story walks through events in great detail, listing all the players on the team and community members who intervened at key moments who may not be crucial.
“I didn’t want the games to read like a newspaper story,” Nancy said. “I pulled out a lot of game details. I had my mother read it – she isn’t a football fan – to see what needs to be cut out.”
Nancy was able to recount the games by watching the film footage that her husband had, and identify key moments and the players involved. At her best, her narrative flows like following the Kansas City Chiefs, whose ebb and flow momentum this past season gave many fans nervous fits.
She had numerous discoveries emerging from interviews she compiled. She learned of the white dove by talking to the players, and of their practice of hanging out at the practice field at night, lying on their car hoods and looking at the stars. Those are the scenes of true small town life that illuminate the book, and Nancy wanted to focus on the light.
“Capturing who Craig Crespino was was very important to me,” she said. “You don’t feel the loss that the community felt unless you understand who Craig was. All of the students were impacted, not just the football team. They all felt he was their advocate, friend and mentor. He had a sense of how to perk people up and when they needed it.
Purchase
For Coach:
2005
ForCoachthebook.com
The book is also through Amazon, or at Nancy’s store, Painted Barrels on the Square in Galena.
Hardbound autographed copies sell for $24.95 with free shipping.
“The timing was terrible, with football season starting in three days and school in two weeks. There was no time to heal. God had a plan. People were in place that needed to be there to step in and help that year.”
Nancy too had to step out of her comfort zone to tell the story, having been part of the unfolding narrative. She didn’t want to recount how she brought food to the Crespino family once a week after Craig’s passing, but Glenna insisted, saying it was part of how the community supported each other.
“I was surprised to the extent to which Glenna was willing to share those dark and private moments,” Nancy recalled. “I was willing to drop the whole project if she felt it was too private. Her input to me was ‘The kids and I want to make sure [the story] is about his life, and not just his death.”
The spotlight showed uncomfortably on Blaise Bauer too, who wasn’t seeking the attention from the beginning. The weight of serving as principal and the added duties of football head coach that year come through. Today he is still in Galena, as the school superintendent.
“It was very difficult for Blaise to be that exposed,” Nancy said. “He doesn’t want to be the subject of the book. He gives all the credit to those players. He grew to love them for what they were doing, how they responded to adversity. They just formed a very close bond. He is still very close to that team.”
Nancy admits the book was very emotional to write.
“I couldn’t write it without crying,” she said. “I remember talking to Glenna about that, and she said, ‘Faith, family and friends.’ That’s what the book is about, capturing the magic to that season. I would like the book to be uplifting to the reader. I hope it encourages readers to have a deeper sense of trust in God and his plan for their lives.” n
The Home and Business Show
April 7th & 8th
Shankin for the Shell Golf Tournament
May 15th
Poker Run
June 17th
Independence Fest
July 1st
Boat Parade and Fireworks Display
July 4th
Shakin In The Shell Fest
September 15th & 16th
Homer Sloan
October 7th
Annual Dinner
October 14th
Tree Lighting Ceremony
December 9th
Polar Plunge
January 1st 2024
May 15: Shankin’ Golf
This is the fifth year the Shell Knob Chamber of Commerce is hosting the annual golf tournament.
This four-person scramble is hosted at the Cassville Golf Course.
June 17: Poker Run
This is the sixth annual event which falls the week before Father’s Day. There are five stops along the pirate-themed tour, and it costs $25 per hand.
July 1: Independence Fest
For the second year in a row, Shell Knob is hosting an Independence Day festival at the community park, featuring three live bands, a bar hosted by the Shriners and special VIP booths.
July 4: Boat parade and Fireworks display
Shell Knob will kick off Independence Day with a boat parade at 10 a.m. its ever-popular fireworks display over the lake at dark. There are no gate-costs to attend the events, and people who wish to enter the boat parade are encouraged to sign up at the chamber office before the event.
September 15-16: Shakin’ in the Shell and Custom Classic Car Show
Shakin’ in the Shell, featuring live music, vendor booths, a pet show and a classic car show, will be held Sept. 15 and 16 at the community park.
Each year thousands of people flock to Shell Knob to get a glimpse of the fun, family activities scheduled throughout the year. When the weather is warm, the water stays cool, and the area is never short on things to keep locals and tourists entertained.
October 14: Annual Chamber Dinner
The annual chamber dinner is open to the public and seats cost $30, which includes a meal, plus there is a bar.
The event will be hosted at the Barn at Bear Ridge, as well as catered by them.
December 9: Tree Lighting Ceremony
The Tree Lighting Ceremony was a new event that the chamber started two years ago. The event will be held at the community park.
October 7:
For the 44th year, the Homer Sloan Buddy Bass Tournament will come to Shell Knob Oct. 1. It is one of the biggest on the lake.
For more information or to volunteer, people may reach out to the Shell Knob Chamber of Commerce office at 417-858-3300.
Shell Knob is reaching out to the younger generation to give them a sense of ownership and investment in the local community.
Last year, the Shell Knob Chamber of Commerce appealed to local elementary school students to help develop a logo for the summer Shakin’ in the Shell event.
Chamber of Commerce Director Kelly Davis said the idea is to get local youngsters interested and invested in the annual event, and help the kids develop a sense of ownership in their community.
“From now on, it will always be a Shell Knob Elementary School kid who designs the Shakin’ in the Shell logo and T-shirt,” Davis said.
Last year, the chamber put an offer out to all students in Shell Knob from kindergarten to eighth grade.
“The entire school submitted entries,” Kelly said. “We had 80 to 100 submissions that were reviewed by a committee, which picked the winner.”
Last year’s winner was Charlee Kolhowski, a third grade student who drew a logo that includes Shell Knob’s iconic bridge, with the sun setting in the background.
The winner of the contest is announced on the first day of school each September, a short time before the Sept. 15 event at the community park.
That logo was printed on the 2022 Shakin’ in the Shell T-shirts and used as the logo to promote the event in the weeks leading up to the town’s late-summer festival.
To sweeten the deal, Charlee even hosted signing event so community members could have their Shakin’ in the Shell T-shirts signed by the artist.
“The community has been very excited that we are trying to get the kids involved in the community,” Kelly said. “It was tremendously successful. We wanted to get the kids invested in the event, and this has given them a sense of pride in their community.”
Story by Mike GervaisCharlie Kolhowski was the 2022 winner of Shell Knob’s Shakin’ in the Shell logo contest. After her design was announced as the new logo for last year’s event, she held a signing so community members could get an autograph from the artist herself.
For years, Shell Knob has been a local hub for Fourth of July celebrations, hosting a spectacular fireworks display over Table Rock Lake that sees hundreds of boaters hitting the water for a parade, and thousands of visitors spending the weekend celebrating along the shore.
Last year, the Shell Knob Chamber of Commerce sought to build on that momentum, and launched a brand new festival to celebrate the national holiday in style.
The Shell Knob Independence Fest is a live concert hosted Saturday, July 1 that will see three bands take the stage at the Shell Knob Community Park on Needle Eye Road to kick off weekend activities.
“We have a huge stage built with professional lighting, the Shriners host the bar and this year we’re going to set up VIP tents for people who want to celebrate in style,” Shell Knob Chamber of Commerce Director Kelly Davis said.
Davis said the new VIP booths in-
clude shaded areas with swamp coolers, a private bar, two drink tickets and access to a VIP bathroom.
Each tent can accommodate up to six people and will cost $500 each.
“We knew the fireworks on the lake has been a huge event, and we wanted to bring more to the weekend,” Davis said.
Thus was born the Independence Festival.
“It was tremendously successful last year,” she said. “We’re expecting 1,500 people to come this year.”
The 2023 lineup for Shell Knob’s Independence Fest includes Josh Davidson & the One Night Stand, Saints Eleven and headliner Jeremiah and Blue Haze.
General admission tickets for the Independence Fest are $11 in advance and $15 at the gate.
Following the festival, Shell Knob will play host to its annual 4th of July Boat parade on Tuesday, July 4, followed by the annual fireworks display the same day. n
The popularity of Shell Knob’s annual fireworks show on Table Rock Lake inspired the Chamber of Commerce to up the ante and create a larger Independence Day celebration that now includes three bands, a bar hosted by the Shriners and, new this year, VIP booths that include climate control, a private bar and more.
Herbert Hoover said, “Children are our most valuable resource.” That sentiment is seen in action at Shell Knob’s Noah’s Ark Daycare. Director Dean Ferguson’s goal is to make children a high priority by providing a safe, supportive, educational, and healthy environment.
Located inside Central Community United Methodist Church on Hwy YY in Shell Knob, the daycare provides care for children from infants to age 12. After opening in August 2021 to a limited amount of children, the daycare was fully state licensed in May 2022 and expanded to 30 children in care today.
“There were several people who helped get the program started including Rachel Luebbering and Robyn Chrysler who initially started the discussion and allowed for the connection between myself and Central Community United Methodist Church,” said Ferguson. “The needs of Shell Knob
Story by Annie Lisenby Smith
and surrounding communities were dependent on child care. For example, there were employers who were noting that they could not find employees because they were lacking child care. We had a couple individuals who saw the need and prayed about it. The church, the pastor, and staff at Central Community United Methodist Church have been very vital and important in helping get the program started.”
While there had previously been a daycare at the church, bringing Ferguson in started a new program. He was transitioning out of working in the public school sector. After the support of the church and the vision they
Call 417-737-9417
shared of the program, Ferguson realized he could continue with his passion to “love on the children and teach the whole child.”
Ferguson was quick to point out that he wasn’t doing this all alone. “We are a true family,” he said. “Our staff steps up and helps each other whenever it is needed. Due to the nature of our family-like setting, our students feel the love and passion from our staff and this helps them in their learning environment as a whole.”
An influential person has been Ferguson’s grandma who volunteers every day and loves nothing more than spending time with and loving the babies.
Along with his staff and volunteers, Ferguson works to create an environment where children are happy and feel welcome. “I think my absolute favorite has to be the number of parents who are often scared and nervous about leaving their child with us for the first time or first couple of times due to the amount of trust it takes,” Ferguson said. “However, by the end of the week, the child is begging to stay and not go home, or oftentimes running in the front door because they are excited to come to school.
“When I began creating a program, I wanted a safe and fun environment where kids would feel comfortable and learn and that is exactly what we have created with the help of our staff and families,” Ferguson added.
Part of their programming includes celebrating monthly holidays with a fun calendar. The calendar is posted on the Noah’s Ark Daycare Facebook page and sent home with parents. Children get to explore new activities inspired by the calendar that have included fun with a pig and making pizza.
By providing care for local children, Noah’s Ark Daycare has been able to affect the community in Shell Knob. “We have been able to bring more jobs to the area by hiring daycare staff. We have also been able to provide more jobs to the community because parents now have a safe place for their children to go while they are at work,” Ferguson said. “In addition to private pay, because of the poverty level of our community, we are able to accept State Subsidy, which is where the state pays a portion of daycare costs, or sometimes all of daycare for the parents.”
It’s been a long journey for Ferguson and his team, one that’s had its ups and downs, but it’s nothing that Ferguson couldn’t handle. “While I went to school for education and educational leadership, never did I think I would be building a program from the ground up while learning about business leadership and
ownership at the same time,” he said. “But many people have told us the impact we have had on the community. It is our pleasure to be able to say that we have the most supportive community ever. Shell Knob has welcomed us with open arms and has answered every wanted ad that we could potentially ask for. Thank you to the Shell Knob community and all the fabulous support.”
For Thanksgiving lunch, the Shell Knob community donated desserts to Noah’s Ark Daycare. Student Brexley Welch enjoys trying new treats.
For anyone interested in more information on Noah’s Ark Daycare they can email Ferguson at director.noahsarkdaycare@gmail. com, call 417-737-9417, or reach out through the Noah’s Ark Daycare Facebook page.
Families are encouraged to tour the facility and collect enrollment packets in person. They accept ages newborn to 12 years old. Currently, the infant room is full with a waiting list, but they have limited space in the other classrooms.
Oscar Wilde said, “The best way to make children good is to make them happy.” With all the care and support provided by the staff and supporters of Noah’s Ark Daycare, there are likely many good children found in Shell Knob. n
Celiac disease is a condition that results from an immune response to gluten. It has gained more attention and public understanding in recent years.
Gluten is a protein found in certain grains like wheat and others that are used in many food products. However, gluten-free diets are becoming easier to enjoy with more products available that are safe for those with celiac disease. Learning how celiac disease works, and what a gluten-free diet entails can help make life better for those who are navigating the diagnosis.
According to the Celiac Disease Foundation, celiac disease is estimated to affect one in 100 people worldwide, with only about 30 percent being properly diagnosed. Celiac disease is a serious autoimmune disease that occurs in genetically predisposed individuals and causes damage to the small intestine when they eat anything with gluten.
This damage reduces the ability to absorb nutrients, resulting in an increased risk of developing anemia or other nutrient deficiencies. Other common symptoms are diarrhea, abdominal pain, and cramping. Undiagnosed
or untreated celiac disease can lead to several detrimental health conditions, including heart disease, malnutrition, and liver failure. Celiac disease is diagnosed by first going through blood test screenings and is confirmed through a biopsy of the small intestine wall.
It is important to know which foods have gluten to ensure the safety of those with celiac disease. Gluten is a combination of proteins that are found in wheat, barley, rye, and triticale. These grains are used in foods like bread and baked goods, but they are also used as a binding agent in many processed foods, which can make it difficult for someone with celiac disease to ensure that it is safe to eat.
Another issue for people with celiac disease is cross-contamination since even foods that are naturally gluten-free (such as oats) are commonly processed in the same facilities as grains that they cannot eat. It is important to read labels carefully and check to see if they are certified gluten-free.
A strict, lifelong gluten-free diet is the only way to treat celiac disease, but thankfully there are now more options that make living with this diagnosis easier.
(A) A typical view of the villi of the small intestine.
(B) Celiac disease (sprue, gluten sensitive enteropathy) is an autoimmune disorder of the small intestine with diarrhea, bloating.
Living with a celiac diagnosis can be difficult, but certain things to keep in mind will help keep food safe to eat. Trying to eat whole foods as much as possible – whole proteins, fruits, vegetables, legumes, gluten-free grains, and dairy – reduces the risk of cross-contamination or the use of gluten in the food’s processing. Checking labels and ensuring that foods have a gluten-free certification before purchase or gifting is a big step in keeping those with celiac disease safe and healthy. n
On the square – Cassville, MO 417-847-2195
There are helpful tips that can make living with celiac disease less stressful, such as:
• Many restaurants offer a gluten-free menu upon request and may have a separate fryer for gluten-free foods.
• Most stores now have an aisle specifically for gluten-free options that are certified gluten-free.
• Not all grains contain gluten – quinoa, amaranth, rice, corn, buckwheat, and oats that are processed in a facility without gluten are great options.
A question I am often asked as a marriage and family therapist is, “Should I put my kid in counseling? I’m not sure if they need it but I want to make sure they’re doing okay with the divorce.”
Obviously, my answer will vary from family to family keeping in mind their specific situation but for the most part, my answer is the same. I think therapy is always a good idea. Even when your kids seem to be doing just fine, checking in with someone who is trained to notice the hurts, can be so validating to a child. It can also help the parent to not feel like they are carrying the weight of everyone’s feelings. It can be a win-win.
Oftentimes, kids misbehaving or acting out in some undesired way, is an important piece of information. All behavior, good or bad, is a form of communication. Hearing that statement in counseling school and really understanding what it means, has helped me to parent my children as a single mom. As you know, there will be so many hard times when it’s just you and the kids. There will be times when your children want the other parent and sometimes it comes at the
expense of hurt feelings. Just remember, as hard as the divorce may have been for you, think of how much those little brains must process in order to make sense of a decision that affected them.
So why should kids go to therapy? Simple. Therapy is a place where kids can talk openly and freely without judgment. It is one hour that is completely about them, with no interruptions. My recommendation if your child is 10-years-old or younger, would be to find a Registered Play Therapist. These therapists have specialized training with this age range and will use play as a form of therapy. Doing this helps take the pressure off of the child to know what to say.
A tool that is often used in session is a Sand Tray. I used this when I did my internship in graduate school with children. You have the child pick out different figurines that are neatly lined up on shelves in the office. Those figurines are then used to create a ‘scene’ in the sand that can help a child communicate with
objects rather than words. Since kids’ brains are still developing at this age, finding the right words can be difficult and when kids have a hard time communicating, they get frustrated and feel misunderstood. Feeling misunderstood can lead to kids withdrawing, acting out, or being more emotional than what is ‘normal’ for them.
My kids were 11, 7, and 5 when I went through my divorce. To be honest, I didn’t know what my kids needed at the time other than me loving them through something devastating. It wasn’t until a few years later when I started looking into therapy for them. I say that to relieve any guilt you may be feeling about not knowing what the right thing is. Just remember, you know your kids the best and you will figure out this new life together.
Something I started doing with my kids to help me better understand their feelings from day-today was to get a Feelings Wheel. I found one on Etsy that came as a pillow which I loved because I
could just put it on my couch. Everyday when the kids come home from school, I grab the pillow and hand it to them. I ask them to point to how they are feeling on the wheel and we talk from there.
The Feelings Wheel helps kids put words to how they are feeling and can spark conversation when they may not know what to say. It’s been a game-changer in our home and is something I highly recommend as a therapist and a mom. It doesn’t cost a lot of money, it’s non-confrontational, and it’s a fun way to reconnect with your kids.
We have a solid reputation as effective legal practitioners and possess a depth of experience, serving Monett and surrounding area with 70 years of combined experience in the law business.
Jim Randall, member of Randall, Masri & Randall, PC law firm and title agency, was a scheduled instructor in a nationally broadcast continuing education seminar for attorneys, title companies, lenders, realtors and other real estate professionals conducted by National Business Institute, a nationwide seminar production company. The online seminar was conducted on August 11.
So, does your kid need therapy? Depending on their age, just ask your child. If they seem hesitant, offer to sit with them in the first session. Play therapists will usually meet with the parent one-on-one first, to get an understanding of what is going on and why therapy has become something the family is participating in. Second, the therapist will do a session with the parent and the child, and the third session will be with the child and the therapist. If your kids are older than 10-years-old, I would still recommend therapy but just have them see a regular licensed therapist.
Please remember to try and be kind to yourself. Even the most amicable divorces can feel messy; especially when kids are involved. My guess is, you’re doing a better job than you think you are, and your kids are seeing a pretty resilient parent in the home. Pat yourself on the back and take it one day at a time. You got this. n
At the beginning of the 202223 school year, Verona School Principal Melody Whitehead said she was looking for ways to create a community – and not just within the school, but in Verona as a whole.
“I got this idea from a book called “It Takes a Village,” and it really hooked me on the idea of how a community comes together to raise the kids,” Whitehead said.
To make that happen, she developed an idea that would bring students who would rarely cross paths together, and send those children out into Verona to mingle with people they might not otherwise get to know. But to do that, she needed leaders. Taking the initial idea, she found her leaders in the school’s teachers, and again, she created unlikely pairings to bring more people to gather.
“We cross-assigned teachers from the elementary school and the high school, and asked them to come up with community projects for the students,” she explained. “The teachers got on board immediately.”
One community service project students have created is a regular visit to local seniors. Verona School Principal Melody Whitehead said the students visit the seniors every holiday, and always bring them a little treat.
Story by Mike Gervais
The idea was to have higher grade-level teachers partner with lower grade-level teachers. Their classes follow in suit. That means some groups working on community projects may be a class of high school juniors, partnering with a class of first graders. Likewise, the high school teacher is working directly with the elementary teacher to develop the program, and the students team up with their counterparts to execute the idea.
“We have the elementary school teachers and the high school teachers working together, and you don’t always see that on a campus,” Melody said.
This year, there are 15 different groups working on a variety of community projects. Whitehead said every student in the school is participating in the program, and scheduling has allowed the first hour of every day to be dedicated to the projects.
While the idea of working together and getting teachers from both the elementary and high school on board was Melody’s brainchild, she said those teachers are responsible for the great
work they’ve been putting in. Each group of teachers came up with their own project idea, and the results have been an eclectic group of ideas that have reverberated throughout the community of Verona and beyond.
“One group has created a project where they’ve become pen pals with residents at Granby House,” she said. “We had a mitten tree set up at the school during Christmas so everyone on campus could donate warm gloves for children in foster care. They did a first responder’s toy drive around Christmas too, so they donated a bunch of toys to all our first responder agencies that they can give out to children who are going through hard times … and the list goes
Verona upperclassmen and elementary students are teaming up for various community service projects throughout the school year. Above, one group of students advertises a drawing they organized to purchase Christmas presents for local foster kids.
Part of Verona’s Community Service initiative is to pair younger students with older students to coordinate and work together to achieve a particular goal.
on, we did Christmas caroling for senior citizens, raised money for the animal shelter, wrote letters to veterans, did a book drive, donated Christmas gifts for foster children and there is a group that visits local senior citizens every holiday and bring them a little gift and we have one group of older kids who go out and read to lower grade levels.”
Melody said the ultimate goal of the project has been accomplished.
“The moral on campus is really high, you see comradery among the teachers. Every year, there has been a Christmas party at the elementary school and the high school, and this year the party was district wide.”
She also said students interacting with each other at different grade levels has created a different kind of atmosphere, with some older students taking youngsters under their wing as friends and mentors.
“The teachers who are leading these programs are also getting some good feedback from the community,” she said. n
It’s time to dig out the spade, the gardening gloves, the hoe, garden hose and the watering can, load them into the wheelbarrow and head out to the garden. There’s an intoxicating lure to the fresh air, singing birds, squeezing the dirt between your fingers, the joy of watching greenery poke through the soil in search of sunshine and a new harvest. Now’s the time to dig in.
by Murray Bishoff
What you want in the garden, what will make it to the table, shapes the menu. Where to start?
“It depends on the plant,” said Andy Thomas, horticulture researcher for the University of Missouri and expert on the fruits native to Missouri growing at Mizzou’s Southwest Research Center near Mt. Vernon. “By early March, some plants like elderberries that are very tolerant of frost had just started growing. Lettuce, spinach, radishes, kale and collards – the cool season crops –find rainy and cool weather perfect.”
Warm season crops, those that do not tolerate frost, need to wait until May 1 in the Monett area. That would include tomatoes, cucumbers, eggplant, peppers, zucchini and squash.
“April 15 is considered the 50 percent frost-free date in this part of Missouri,” said Thomas. “Look for the 10day forecast that looks good, and then you can put in your peppers, squash and cucumbers.”
April 15
Time to plant peppers, squash and cucumber in southwest Missouri
He noted some retailers with garden departments already had tomatoes, a tropical plant, for sale in early March. They fare just as well when waiting. Some varieties, like Early Girl tomatoes, can be planted earlier, but Mother Nature won’t be rushed. Last year the warm spell around May 1 secured the start of gardening season.
Thomas had several tips for the eager gardener.
“A soil test is so important,” he said. Available for about $15 through the University Extension Service, a garden soil test is “money well spent,” Thomas continued. “It tells you how good – or bad – the soil is, and what it needs.” Best to apply the needed nutrients early to help throughout the growing season.
“I don’t like weeds,” he continued. “If you want to enjoy the garden, I heartily recommend putting down mulch. Tomatoes love mulch, and don’t love weeds. If you have vining plants like squash and cucumbers, if you allow them to spread on mulch, they will do well. If they spread on weeds, over time you won’t be able to remove the weeds.”
Thomas recommended mulch or compost, even the latest newspapers with soy-based ink, as ideal compost. Two or three layers of The Monett Times , he said, can hold down the weeds all season. Thomas admitted grimacing seeing people burning leaves in autumn, sacrificing potential compost.
“I don’t recommend wood chips. They can take a long time to decompose. You can even use woven fabric mulch. It has pros and cons. Rodents can get under it.”
A garden is more than a one-timeand-done experience. Thomas said he likes to walk in his garden daily and see what’s going on, a practice
he heartily recommends for its therapeutic quality and for what he learns to help the growing progress.
“Take the Colorado potato beetle,” he said. “Every two or three years, it’s a problem. If you see two one day and a hundred a couple days later, you may need to intervene. If you spot weeds, you can get to them before they get out of control. I’ve had a rabbit nest in the garden. I may want to move them before they eat all my lettuce. It’s really good to see what’s going on. It doesn’t necessarily mean you have to spray. Gardening should be fun.”
Thomas also said some gardeners need to curb their enthusiasm. It’s possible to start a garden that becomes overwhelming.
“Plant a small garden,” he advised. “Unless you’re canning a large harvest, six tomato plants is more than any family needs. You don’t need 20. A lot of people bite off way too much. By July a lot of people just give up.”
As for starting a garden, Thomas said some crops do best coming from a store or a local grower who gets them started for the gardener who transplants them. Others, like beans and lettuce, where a pack of seeds costs less than $2, grow so well it makes good sense to plant them from scratch.
Around May 1 is an ideal time to put plants in the ground that are already growing, such as tomatoes, peppers, eggplant and herbs, along with cabbage and broccoli that could take too long to take root from a seed.
“Let a professional get the plant started. Tomato plants are still a good bargain for $3,” he said.
Thomas encouraged gardeners to go to their local growers, and farmer’s markets, to buy plants for the garden.
For Thomas, a garden is a happy place. He hoped you can find yours there as well.
Those who don’t garden may nonetheless wrestle with the vision of a perfect lawn. How one approaches that depends on the end goal.
Tim Schnakenberg, field specialist in agronomy with the University of Missouri Extension Service, acknowledged a shopper can easily walk into a store garden center in the area and walk out with a bag of Kentucky 31 fescue seed for planting grass. Fescue revolutionized southwest Missouri after its introduction after World War II, providing a resilient grass that endures in the heat and drought of local summers, though the later discovery of its bad side effects on livestock has been an ongoing struggle.
For lawns, however, “Kentucky 31 is not bad, in my view,” Schackenberg said. “I used it. It’s durable. It’s not considered to be the most
beautiful tall fescue variety, like Rembrandt. There are a number of turf-type tall fescues that have a finer leaf and are a prettier grass.”
Spring is the second most popular time to plant grass, Schnackenberg said, but not the best.
“The best time is in September, if we have moisture, which we didn’t have last fall,” he said. “If you want to thicken up the lawn, people do seed in the spring, but often we find it doesn’t have the resilience to get through a hot, dry summer.”
“Tim’s philosophy” also extends to lawn care, and might surprise you.
“I think we tend to mow our lawns too short,” he said. “The higher we leave the grass, the deeper the root system, the more resilient the plants are, and they will last longer in a grass stand. Low-cut grass tends to open up the canopy. It gets hot, you see more bare soil, and the weeds start growing. Crabgrass is one of the biggest contenders.
“If you want to fight weeds with a herbicide, the time to do that is in early April with a crabgrass preventer or a weed-andfeed additive that has a pre-emergent herbicide. Crabgrass will still germinate but will die off before it takes off.”
Other prevalent lawn weeds, like dandelions, henbit and chickweed can be knocked back with a preventer, such as 24D dicamba or a 3-way broadleaf killer. Schnackenberg said these can be used in the late fall or early spring, like early in April.
Lawns, like gardens, can become a battlefield or an oasis. Choose well. n
Previously in Keeping Secrets, 15-year-old Paige learns that her mom, Alice, is a spy and that her dad has been kidnapped by Alice’s rogue boss, Piper. They’ve been on a wild adventure all night long that has led them to being captured by Sebastian Miranda, the man Alice was investigating. He doesn’t realize that the files he’s seeking are hidden in a necklace Paige wears when he kidnaps and drugs Paige, Alice, and Paige’s friend from school, Brayden.
Shifting her shoulders rough carpet scratches against Paige’s cheek. It itches but lifting her hand to scratch her cheek takes more effort than it should. To Paige, it feels like she’s weighted down, under a hundred heavy blankets. There’s a deep rumbling sound and something warm against her back. Her eyes don’t help her figure out her new surroundings. As she scratches her cheek she reaches to push her glasses up and finds them gone. Blinking doesn’t sharpen the world around her neither does squinting. She has no idea where she is.
A quick gasp escapes as panic brews deep in Paige’s gut.
“Paige?” Alice whispers. “Stay quiet.”
The voice comes from behind her, so Paige forces her body to roll to her back from the small space she’s wedged into. It takes all her effort to make her unhelpful body shift. But doing so reveals that the warm thing pressed against her back is Brayden. He’s so close Paige can see his face clearly without her glasses. It looks like he’s sleeping, but Paige remembers the tranquilizer darts shot into each of them. Before she shifts her gaze to find her mom, Paige watches Brayden’s chest rise and lower. He’s breathing at least, she thinks.
“Are you okay?” Alice’s hushed whisper comes from a long white couch attached to the wall. She’s splayed on her side, her arm hanging over the edge so her hand rests on Brayden’s back. Paige guesses she was checking his breathing too.
Nodding, Paige asks, “Where are we?” She squints at the strange round windows over Alice’s shoulder. Bright sunlight pours in making the space look almost welcoming.
“Airplane,” Alice whispers pointing toward her feet. With effort, Paige lifts her head and squints down the
long tube. Soft, leather-covered armchairs are bolted to the floor ahead of them. The white leather is clean, looking new and expensive. Beyond is a short, dark hallway with a doorway cracked. Paige can make out blurry flickers of lights that must be the control panels in the cockpit. Next to her is another couch attached to the wall.
With her questioning glance at the empty couch, Alice says, “You rolled off a minute ago. I think that woke you up.”
“Where are they taking us?” Paige asks.
“Shh,” Alice whispers. “Don’t let them hear us. See? Sebastian Miranda is asleep.”
“See?” Paige whispers. “I can’t see anything. Where are my glasses?”
“I don’t know, sweetheart.” Alice sighs. “They knocked me out too. Your glasses must have fallen off when they put us on the plane.”
“Mom,” Paige bites her lip to keep her voice down, “I need my glasses.”
“I know. I know,” Alice says, her face dropping. “I never should have pulled you into this.”
“There’s still a way out, right?” Paige asks. Feeling more life coming back to her limbs as the tranquilizers slowly fade. She shifts against the solid couch at her back. Brayden is plastered against her, and feeling so much of herself pressed against him fills her with an awkward feeling. Sure, she’d daydreamed about kissing him all last school year. But she’d never imagined she’d find herself pressed against him, their bodies compressed together from shoulders to toes.
“Paige, this may not end well,” Alice whispers. “You need to be prepared for that.”
“Mom,” Paige whines, “how do I ever prepare for that?”
“Wherever we land, you have to break away.” Alice’s face is hardened. This isn’t like when she warned Paige to always look both ways before crossing the street or to wear her helmet when she was on her bike. This level of seriousness exudes from Alice so strongly that Paige can feel the air between them shift. “Do whatever you can to get away. Get to the police. Get to anyone who will help you. Just get away.”
“Mom?” Paige whimpers, fear creeping across her body. “I don’t know if I can do that.”
“Yes, you can,” Alice smiles. “You didn’t freak out like Brayden. I know you’ve been scared. But you’ve kept a level head all night. I couldn’t be more proud.”
When Paige bites her lip this time it’s to keep the tears pooling in her eyes from running down her face. “Mom,” she says reaching across Brayden who continues to breathe softly between them without stirring.
Alice’s fingers wrap around Paige’s, the feel of her hand more than Paige can take. The tears fall in slow rivulets. Alice can’t hold back any longer either. Her own tears fall to the soft leather of the couch and she doesn’t wipe them away.
“My glasses,” Paige starts.
“We can do this without your glasses,” Alice interrupts. “I know you can.”
“No, it’s not that.” Paige presses her fingers tighter against Alice’s. “Those were the glasses you helped me pick out before you left.”
Alice’s mouth opens but no words come out. Paige can see her wheels turning, flipping through memories. To Alice, it was probably just a quick trip to replace Paige’s glasses that had been broken in a softball incident in P.E. but Paige remembered it as the last time they’d spent time together.
“Remember?” Paige asks. “You talked me out of those giant green frames and said that the purple ones with the little flowers on the arms were going to look best on me. We went for ice cream afterward and you asked me way too many questions about school. It was the last time we hung out before you left.”
“Oh, Paige,” Alice releases a breath looking like she’d been holding it in for the two years she’d been gone. “I didn’t realize.”
“I know,” Paige nods. “It’s just that Dad tried to get me to choose new glasses a few times, but I always kept those. They were what you picked for me, a little something of you I could keep with me.”
“You know I never meant to be gone so long,” Alice says. “I was only sent as a consultant, but when I discovered some discrepancies in an account that other agents hadn’t caught, Piper convinced me to stay for one more case, then another
and another. Eventually, I’d been gone so long that I didn’t know how to come back home.”
“Señor?” a voice from the front of the cabin stops Alice. Paige can make out a man in a suit and wearing a captain’s hat leaning over one of the plush seats near the cockpit. In the seat next to it, surfer suit guy pops up ready for action.
“Sí?” Sebastian shifts in his seat, slowly lifting his head to look at the captain. The captain continues in Spanish, the words lost to Paige. Wishing she’d taken Spanish instead of French, she strains her ears for anything familiar from Spanish she’d learned randomly.
After a brief conversation, the captain returns to the cockpit and surfer suit guy relaxes back into his seat. But Sebastian’s head turns to the back of the plane making Alice and Paige drop their heads and close their eyes in a flash.
Paige counts in her head refusing to open her eyes until she gets to one hundred. Her heart pounds in protest but she forces herself to stay still. Before she can make it to 70, the plane shifts. The tiny lifting feeling tells Paige that they’re dropping in altitude.
“We’ll land soon,” Alice whispers. Paige opens her eyes and finds Alice’s gaze on her. “You have to know that I’ve missed you every day, every minute I was gone. And I’ll never stop regretting leaving you and your dad.”
Paige lifts her hand from where she’d dropped it across Brayden. Reaching for Alice’s grasp, Paige presses her fingers tight against her mom’s. “I missed you so much, but I know Dad missed you more,” Paige says. “He checked his email for updates from you all day long.”
“I know,” Alice nods, tears pooling in her eyes again. “I’ll need to make it right with him too.”
“Oh, you’re not done making it right with me yet, you know that, right?” Paige asks.
“I’ll do anything,” Alice replies, heartache written in the lines around her eyes.
“Ice cream,” Paige smiles feeling tears well again but okay with letting them fall freely now. “Well, first get us out of this mess, and then ice cream. Like every day, anytime I ask for it. And a new iPhone too.”
Holding in a chuckle, Alice makes a snorting sound. They both look up to see if Sebastian or his men have noticed. Happily, Paige sees no one move.
“Um,” Brayden stammers between them. “What’s going on? Why are you both crying?”
“Shh,” Alice whispers forcefully. But Brayden’s voice is too loud, even over the rumble of the plane engines.
Sebastian’s head turns to the back of the plane slowly, meticulously. Standing against the force of the airplane’s descent, he has to hold on to the back of his seat for balance.
“You’re awake,” he smiles. “Good. We’ll be home soon.”
“Señor,” the captain calls from the cockpit and follows with quick, stern words.
A glance at the cockpit turns Sebastian’s smile into a tight grimace. Paige may not know much about all the bad things Sebastian Miranda has done, but she can tell from that quick change how much he hates being commanded. He sits again and pulls the dangling seatbelt across his lap.
A dip in altitude makes Paige’s stomach flip.
“Oh, no,” Brayden says, his expression a mixture of confusion and fear. “What do we do? Did they hurt you already? Is that why you’re crying?”
“We’re fine,” Alice says reassuringly and turns to Paige. “He’s waking up faster than you did. That’s good.”
“What’s good?” Brayden asks shifting against Paige’s weight plastered against him.
The thrust of the engine muffles their conversation giving Alice a moment to fill him in. She finishes with the same command she gave Paige. “Run. Get away. Do whatever you can.” But she adds something more. “And the two of you stay together. Don’t let anyone separate you, not until you absolutely know you’re safe.”
The plane shifts against a wind gust as it descends. Paige squints out the window but from the floor can see nothing but blue skies peppered with wisps of clouds. The wheels hitting the ground jolts the plane and the engines roar with their reverse thrust to slow it down. Once the plane is rolling at a reasonably controlled speed, Alice sits up and looks out the window over her shoulder.
“Where are we?” Paige asks shifting to sit up. She hadn’t realized how narrow the space was for her and Brayden until she was free of it. A feeling of longing to be safe against him again fills her heart.
“Palm trees,” Alice says. “And a lake, no… it’s the ocean.”
Forcing her still-heavy body up to the couch opposite Alice’s, Paige looks out the window. She silently curses her bad vision. All the colors outside blur together as the plane taxis. But from what she can make out, it looks tropical.
With the plane coming to a stop, Sebastian releases his seatbelt and stands. He takes measured strides toward Alice, Paige, and Brayden. A strange smile pulls at his lips.
“Welcome,” he says lifting his hands, “to my home.”
Paige glances at Alice looking for guidance as Brayden slides onto the couch next to her.
“Welcome,” Sebastian continues, “to Puerto Rico.” n
The plane shifts against a wind gust as it descends.
Paige squints out the window but from the floor can see nothing but blue skies peppered with wisps of clouds.
1. Chris and Brittany Weiner
2. Mark Crane and Walter Branch
3. Erick Randels of EFCO Corporation and Roger Wolf of Jack Henry & Associates
4. Joni Jackson and Lona Watmay
5. David and Rachel Luebbering
6. Karly Drake, Katherine Gervais and Dr. Melissa Huff
I have recently heard several times that there are people who either don’t know that Monett has a pound or they do not know where it is located. So, this column will hopefully help with that a little.
Yes, Monett has a wonderful pound that holds 10 dogs and the Animal Control Officer happens to be my first-born, Karen.
The pound is located just south of the police department (from Cleveland turn south on Bridle Lane towards the railroad tracks and the pound is on your right).
To contact animal control, call dispatch, and please have patience if you have to leave a message, everyone is extremely busy these days and it may take a while to get back to you – their first responsibility is the care of the animals, including cleaning, feeding and exercising them. Karen loves animals and is willing to help anyone who needs advice, a bit of help or some dog food, if she has enough to share.
Since this is my daughter, I also know how much work she does and how many hours she puts into her job, to the point where she does most of her Facebook postings from home after hours. And when necessary, she might even bring a puppy home during inclem-
Call: 417.235.4241 select option 1 =Lawrence County, then select option 3 =dispatch Ask to be connected to animal control.
View available pets for adoption
ent weather or if it just needs a little extra attention. Thank goodness her five dogs at home love playing with any newcomers.
So, having bragged on her a little, the reason I am writing this month’s column is because she and all of the rescue workers out there could use a little boost and a voice to let everyone know what their wish list would be if they were writing this. So here goes:
1. Please spay and neuter your animals. Not only does it prevent unwanted or unexpected litters of puppies and kittens, but it also makes the animals healthier and more stay-at-home dogs and cats. Any dog adopted from Monett Animal Control comes with a free spay/neuter.
2. Please make sure your animals get all of their preventive medicines, puppies especially are very much subject to several deadly diseases and need to have ALL of their puppy shots, and that means several rounds of shots. Adult
dogs need to have continuous medicines for heartworm and fleas/ticks. Contact your vet for more information. To make this a little more affordable, there are many low cost shot clinics – Monett Animal Control posts many of these on her Facebook site.
3. Please do not dump animals. Recently, within a 10-day period, the pound rescued one momma with three pups and a separate set of six puppies without their mother. That did not include other dogs found and rescued by animal control or animal rescuers along busy highways, where they are likely to be injured in traffic. These animals do not deserve to be abandoned in cold or hot weather, without shelter, food or support, especially now when all rescues and pounds are struggling to obtain adoptions or rescue by other shelters. Most currently they have more dogs and cats than available kennels. If you have puppies or kittens, your dog or cat has not been spayed or
neutered – don’t blame the pet, blame yourself and take care of them until they can be adopted. Contact local shelters, rescues, and pounds and if no space is currently available, ask to be put on a waiting list. Do so when the pets are still very young so there is time to find rescue. If you cannot afford to feed them, ask the shelters if they have some extra dog food until such time when you can afford to feed them again or they get lucky and get rescue.
4. Adopt, don’t shop. Your first stop in looking for a companion animal should be at a local pound or rescue. There are so many wonderful pets up for adoption, buying an animal does not make sense. This does not include legitimate breeders who truly care for their animals, but unfortunately there are many breeders who do not have their pets’ health and welfare in mind. Many of these breeders are even known to dump some of their own animals.
5. Make arrangements for your pets in case of your own incapacity or illness. A dog or cat that has lived with their owner all their life and is suddenly faced being without a home grieves as much as the living surviving relatives. It is simply not fair to the animal.
6. Help if you can by volunteering, fostering or donating. The animals and the people taking care of them appreciate it.
So, if you are looking for a new family member, check with your pound, shelter or rescue first. Ask if you can do a trial adoption or foster to see if the pet fits into your lifestyle, your home and your family. n
NOTE: Monett Animal Control, by ordinance, cannot take in cats or kittens, or animals from outside the city limits.
“ Predicting rain doesn’t count. Building arks does. ”
— Warren Buffett
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