Healthy Connection

by Rachel Wilson

Rachel Wilson is a dietetic intern at Cox College. She is originally from Long Island, NY. She decided to study to become a dietitian with an intent for helping people conquer emotional eating and disordered eating. In her free time, Rachel enjoys yoga, spending time with family and friends, and watching Bravo.

Emotional Eating

When you are feeling stressed, sad, angry, or even happy, do you sense yourself eating more? Food is sometimes used as more than fuel to satisfy our hunger; it is used to satisfy our loneliness, sadness, or boredom as well. When this happens, we aren’t listening to our body’s natural cues to let us know when we are hungry and when we are full. This often happens when we are having a stressful day (or week) at work, experiencing family or relationship problems, or even celebrating an accomplishment.

Signs You May be an Emotional Eater

We may change our eating habits from time to time, but when this becomes a pattern you may be an emotional eater. Here are some signs:

You eat when you’re not hungry. You eat to fill a void. You eat to put off doing something else. You reward yourself with food.

It is important to remember that emotional eating is common and if you do one of these things once in a while it doesn’t necessarily mean you are an emotional eater. More healthful nutrition tips are available on the Healthy Connection blog.

Mindful Eating

Mindful eating is all about paying attention to the act of eating, and more importantly enjoying it! A lot of emotional eating comes from having a bad relationship with food and having a sense of shame associated with eating. A lot of people go straight to dieting to try and correct this; however many diets are restrictive and may even become a trigger to fall back into old habits. Mindful eating is giving yourself permission to eat instead of trying to fit yourself into a box of a certain diet to change your eating habits. The more you stop to listen to your body for the cues for hunger and fullness, the better you’ll be able to distinguish if you are eating to fuel your body versus your emotions. Emotional to Mindful

Becoming a mindful eater is a journey and that journey begins with self-love. Mental health and eating are really intertwined. One way to help make the transition from an emotional eater to a mindful eater is to identify what triggers you to eat. For example, if you find that after a long day of work you immediately go to the refrigerator, take that and write it in a journal. When you go to eat something, take an extra second to stop and ask yourself if you are actually hungry, or if there is another reason you are reaching for food. If you are unsure, walk away and do something else to occupy your time like calling a friend or running an errand. If you do feel hungry grab a small snack and remember to focus and enjoy it. Another way to move towards mindful eating is to eat with others and move the focus from the food to the people you are eating with. It’s important to keep in mind no one’s eating is perfect, but we can each work to improve our habits and our bodies well. n

Previously in Keeping Secrets, 15-year-old Paige was surprised when her mom, Alice, abruptly returned to her life. In a short time, Paige learns that Alice is a spy, that her dad has been kidnapped, and that really, really bad people are chasing them.

Keeping Secrets

part two

By Annie Lisenby-Smith

“Where are we going?” Paige breaks the silence after watching the clock tick past 10:00 p.m. as her mother aimlessly drove through town. Her quick glances at the rearview mirror hadn’t produced another reckless race through town.

“I don’t know,” Alice replies. “This wasn’t supposed to happen. None of this was supposed to happen.” She bites at a fingernail.

“Should you call someone?” Paige shifts in her seat hoping that Alice doesn’t notice the gurgling coming from her stomach that is reminding Paige that she hasn’t eaten since lunch. Her dad tried to get her to eat dinner before marching band practice, but Paige had been terrified that the heat would make her puke on the field like Brittney Johnson did last night. High school was hard enough to navigate without having a puking incident hanging over her head.

“I don’t know,” Alice mumbles.

“What about Dad?” Paige huffs. “Where is he? Shouldn’t we go get him?”

“We can’t,” Alice replies, pulling the car to a stop in a parking lot next to the elementary school. She steps out of the car, leaving Paige behind, as she walks to the swings.

Climbing out of the car, Paige rubs the side of her hip that had bashed against the door frame when Alice dragged her in the car. A bruise was growing under her red athletic shorts. The chorus of night insects screeching their songs mixed with the flickers of lightning bugs surrounds her as she follows her mom.

“Mom! Mom?” Paige calls. Alice ignores her, sitting in a swing and pulling out her phone. “For real, Mom, whatever is going on, you have to snap out of this. If you’re a spy, you know how to handle all this, right?”

“I’m an accountant,” Alice shakes her head. “Just an accountant.”

“But you have a gun,” Paige nods at the holster hidden under Alice’s pantleg.

Alice stands, shaking her hands. “You don’t understand, Paige,” she says in exasperation. “I was just an accountant for the CIA. Yes, I was trained to use a gun and outrun someone, but I’ve never had to do it until tonight really. I acted on impulse to run to help you and your dad. Now I think I should have run the other way.”

“Mom,” Paige steps to Alice. “You’ve got to do something. Someone has Dad.” Saying the words made them more real than Paige was ready to accept. Her stomach sank.

“Do you have a phone?”

“Mom, I’m going to be a freshman in high school, of course I have a phone,” Paige says.

“Really? Since when? I mean, when did you get a phone?” Alice’s eyes squint processing this part of Paige’s life that she’s missed.

“Since seventh grade, just after you left,” Paige replies.

“What? Your dad and I agreed that you wouldn’t get a phone until you were in eighth grade, at the earliest,” Alice sighs.

“You weren’t here,” Paige shrugs. These words sting.

“I know, I’m sorry,” Alice shakes her hair. “I have an idea, give me your phone.”

“It’s in my backpack, but it’s dead.”

“We can’t use my phone. It’s been compromised,” Alice chews her lip again. “We need a phone with a VPN connection if possible, something where we can hide our location.” She paces, thinking.

“I know someone who can help,” Paige says.

Alice stops, “Who?”

“Brayden, he’s a sophomore. He’s in the band and is always talking about the computers he works on,” Paige says, her stomach making a tiny flip thinking of the boy with the deep hazel eyes, his thick hair the color of a caramel latte. “He lives near here.”

Alice is oblivious to the slight color rising to Paige’s cheeks. She glances over her shoulder before spinning and striding toward the back door of the school.

“He doesn’t live in the elementary school,” Paige says to Alice’s back.

“Come over here, Paige. Quick,” Alice gestures for Paige to join her. “Look up there.”

Paige’s eyes follow Alice’s gesture at the corner of the building over the door. “Okay, what am I looking at?”

“Security camera,” Alice replies. “It’s on a closed network, only the local police should be able to access the feeds. So, if anyone comes looking for us, here we are. Wave.” Alice lifts Paige’s arm and helps her feebly wave at the camera perched over their heads.

“Now, let’s go find this computer boy,” Alice brushes back stray hairs falling from her ponytail.

Sweat pours down Paige’s back, making her band t-shirt stick to her back. She adjusts her own ponytail and laments that she’s going to see Brayden like this, sweat-soaked with bits of grass from the practice field plastered to her shoes and socks.

“Should we knock on the front door?” Alice cocks her head studying the two-story house where Brayden lives. She’d quickly perked up at the prospect of Brayden’s help.

“His parents are kind of protective. They might not like us showing up so late,” Paige says studying the glow of light coming from a window on the back side of the house, on the second floor. “There, I think that’s his room. He said the other day that there was a tall tree outside his window that he can climb down if he needs.”

“I hope you’re as good at climbing trees as you were when you were little,” Alice winks and slides from the car. Paige stumbles out of the car, catching up to Alice. While Alice slinks across the yard with the stealth of a cat, Paige squeals when she catches her foot on a root under the tall tree.

“Shh,” Alice admonishes her.

Paige huffs, pushing her glasses up her nose again. The unbearable heat hasn’t relented, and sweat makes Paige’s glasses slide. “I need some help with a computer thing?” Paige says. “Can’t it wait until tomorrow? My parents won’t like a girl climbing in my room late at night.” “I brought my mom,” Paige points at Alice perched in the tree below her. Alice waves and smiles like she’s bringing cookies to the PTA bake sale.

Leaning in to whisper, Alice says, “We should both be able to get up there from this low branch. You’re as tall as me now, so you should be able to reach it fine.”

Climbing the tree isn’t too difficult for Paige wearing sneakers and exercise clothes. She enjoys the feel of the bark under her palms and only has to stop to pull her t-shirt up and wipe sweat off her face before she knocks lightly on Brayden’s bedroom window.

This was so insane, Paige thinks as she waits for a response from the other side of the window hidden by cheap blinds. When the blinds part to reveal deep hazel eyes on the other side, Paige jumps grasping to keep her balance in the tree.

“Paige?” Brayden asks surprised.

“I need some help with a computer thing?” Paige says.

“Can’t it wait until tomorrow? My parents won’t like a girl climbing in my room late at night.”

“I brought my mom,” Paige points at Alice perched in the tree below her. Alice waves and smiles like she’s bringing cookies to the PTA bake sale.

“Um, okay,” Brayden lifts the blinds and unlocks the window. With practiced agility, he pops out the screen and holds out his hand for Paige to help her make the step across the gap between the thick part of the tree branch and his bedroom window frame.

Brayden’s hand is surprisingly soft in Paige’s, but his grip is tight, and he adeptly helps her into his bedroom. Into his bedroom. Paige’s breath catches. She’s never been in a cute boy’s bedroom before. She doesn’t know what to do, how to act. This is a boy’s bedroom.

“You’re such a gentleman,” Alice says behind Paige, whipping her out of her bewilderment.

“Brayden, this is my mom,” Paige awkwardly says. “Mom, this is Brayden. He plays percussion in the band.”

“Nice to meet you,” Brayden replies questioningly. His gaze shifts between the two women who’ve invaded his room.

“Mom needs help with a computer thing, it’s super important,” Paige says. “Do you have an old phone that she can use?”

“I need one with a VPN, if you have that,” Alice adds.

“Yeah,” Brayden smiles, brushing his thick hair out of his eyes, his common gesture making Paige weak in the knees. He pulls open a drawer on his desk and digs through it. “Would this work? It’s an old iPhone 6. It was my mom’s. I put a VPN on it for my brother so he could download pirated movies, but he upgraded when he left for college last year.”

Brayden holds out the phone in a pink case covered with cartoon cats. With great enthusiasm, Alice grabs the phone. “This is perfect. I have a SIM card in the car that works on these older models.”

“You keep old SIM cards in your car?” Brayden smiles at the novelty.

“It’s for her job,” Paige shrugs.

“While we’re here, can you pull something up on your computer?” Alice’s eyes get suddenly intense.

“Sure, what is it?” Brayden asks, sitting in his desk chair and waking up his computer.

“Give me the necklace,” Alice orders Paige, holding out her hand.

Paige’s stomach rolls as she hands the necklace to Alice.

“Whoa, was that your stomach?” Brayden laughs. “I’ve got some snacks over there if you want,” he gestures at a plastic bin next to his desk.

As Alice stands over Brayden’s shoulder watching him open the files, Paige pops the lid off the plastic bin and hungrily grabs a peanut butter protein bar.

“What. Is. This?” Brayden gapes at his computer screen. “I’ve never seen encryption like this.”

“Give me the keyboard,” Alice drags the computer and types frantically, various pages clearing passwords and moving to more pages and more passwords.

“What kind of work do you do? This level of security is usually only for government computers,” Brayden stares on in awe.

“I’m just an accountant to some very private clients,” Alice shoots a look at Paige.

“There!” Alice shouts. “I’m in.” She studies the screen, scrolling past endless numbers.

“Mom, is there anything in there about Dad?” Paige asks.

“Not exactly,” Alice says. “But it will tell me more about who has him.”

“Has him?” Brayden asks. “Are you in some kind of trouble?” he turns his hazel eyes on Paige.

“Um,” Paige stutters. “I don’t—like we’re okay—but there is—there’s—”

“There’s nothing,” Alice interjects. “It’s just accounting and her father is on a vacation. He didn’t tell us exactly where, so this file has the info on the travel agent who booked his trip.”

Alice nods emphatically at Paige as if her nod could magically turn her lie into a truth.

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“And now we need to go,” Alice pulls the flash drive out and drops it around Paige’s neck again. “Come on, Paige, your dad is waiting for us.”

“Did you need anything else?” Brayden follows them to the window.

“Nope, we’re good,” Alice exits into the tree.

“You could have gone out the front door,” Brayden says to Alice and turns to Paige. “Maybe next time you come over, you can use the front door,” he says with a smile.

“You want me to come back?” Paige asks, surprised.

“Well, yeah, you should come over sometime,” Brayden shrugs. “I mean, I’ve been wanting to find time to talk to you more. This would be cool, to have you come over sometime. We could talk, watch a movie, something like that.”

“Okay,” Paige bites her lip, her heart fluttering joyfully. “That would be great.”

“Give me your hand,” Brayden says pulling a Sharpie out of his pocket. “My number,” he scribbles on Paige’s palm, “so you can text me sometime, you know, or something.”

A little electric zing leaps between them. With a goofy smile, Paige makes her way out the window and back to the ground. From the bottom, she waves up at Brayden.

“Mom,” Paige says buckling her seatbelt, “I think Brayden just asked me out on a date.”

“That’s wonderful, Peanut,” Alice replies, distracted by the task of inserting a SIM card into the old iPhone. In the glow of the phone coming to life, Alice turns to Paige. “I know who has your father.”

“Who?”

“In those files I found where some data was different from the files at the CIA,” Alice explains. “Only one person could have changed it and for only one reason. It looks like my boss isn’t only working for the CIA. She’s also working for Sebastian Miranda, the mob boss I was investigating.”n

Cat Café

Sigmund Freud said, “Time spent with a cat is never wasted.” This statement can be celebrated during the month of June, which is recognized as adopt a cat month. This month is chosen, because often it is the time most filled with newborn kittens. It is estimated that in the United States, there are 60-100 million stray cats. One southwest Missouri business is doing its part to find forever homes for cats in their community.

“I simply can’t resist a cat, particularly a purring one,” said famous Missourian Mark Twain. Tiffany Buck, owner of Nine Lives Cat Lounge and Adoption Center in Joplin, would likely agree with Twain. Buck has a huge love for cats and always wants to help them all. Nine Lives gives her the opportunity to help as many kitties as she can.

“The process of opening the Cat Lounge felt like it took an eternity, but flew by all at the same time,” said Buck. “Every time we finished a piece of our project it was like a weight was lifted and our excitement continued to build as we counted down the days to the Grand Opening.”

What is a cat café? The first cat café was opened in 1998 in Taiwan. Visiting Japanese tourists enjoyed the experience of dining with cats so much that they carried the idea home. The first Japanese cat cafés opened in 2004 and quickly met the need of pet companionship for the many apartment dwellers who were forbidden to have pets in their homes.

Cat cafés spread to North America in 2014. While in other countries visitors can have a full dining experience with the cats, in the U.S. health codes forbid this. “We would want our skeptical customers to know that the cats are completely separated from our café,” Buck said.

The cats are housed in a lounge that is distinctly separated from the food and beverage areas. Also, for the safety of the cats, visitors are not allowed to bring any food into the lounge, only drinks.

A focus that Buck has for her cat café is on cat adoption. Since March 15, 2021, Nine Lives has adopted out 279 cats and kittens. Not all cats in the café are up for adoption. Buck and her staff have chosen nine cats to be “lounge residents.”

“When we were picking our residents, we didn’t always have to look for certain qualities, most of our residents picked us,” Buck said. Each of the nine cats has a unique story for how they found their home in the cat lounge that include rescues, unsuccessful adoptions, and adoptions of cats that just needed to stay in the lounge.

The remaining cats are all up for adoption. Buck said that they work with many shelters and rescues and take a limited number of individual intakes that must meet some requirements.

For more details:

In the cat lounge, the cats have many places to explore, both high and low.

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If, after visiting the cat lounge, someone wants to adopt one of the cats, it’s a simple process that takes only about 30 minutes. “The new adopters fill out an application,” Buck said. “Once the application is approved, our staff will go over the adoption contract. Finally, the cat will have to pass a health check to ensure they are leaving in great health. The kitty can go home the same day.”

The mission of Nine Lives is to help as many cats find good homes as they can, but to also help the community grow and come together as a whole. Being in a smaller community allows customers to build relationships with staff and cats. Often, visitors make a new cat friend and look forward to return visits.

To enter the cat lounge, visitors must pay an entry fee. This money goes to pay for food, litter, vet bills, and any other needs the cats might have. Buck emphasized that it was the support from customers that allowed her to help so many cats find forever homes.

All are invited to visit the Nine Lives Cat Lounge and Adoption Center to visit the cats or sample their selection of sandwiches and coffee drinks. More information can be found at www.ninelivescatlounge.com. And follow their Facebook page to learn about hosting a special event at the cat café or about attending their upcoming Cat Yoga.

Whatever your reason to visit, it will be memorable. As author Lewis Carroll said, “Your house will always be blessed with love, laughter, and friendship if you have a cat.” n

Kyle Ferry was one of 2021 esports players in Verona, competing in the popular game League of Legends, which sees teams of five working together against another school to achieve a common objective.

ESPORTS ESPORTS

New High School Sport Emerges

While it may not be too much of a surprise to know that many high schools throughout the nation have been fielding teams of video game players and joining esports leagues, many may be shocked to learn that esports are one of the fastest growing high school sports and many students have been awarded college scholarships based on their performance in esports leagues.

The Verona esports team was founded by Coach Matt Frazier in 2019. Coach Michael Chang took over in 2020 and is looking forward to his second year coaching the team in 2022-23.

“Esports are pretty awesome because it gives our students who aren’t necessarily proficient at physical sports an opportunity to compete and participate with a team,” Coach Chang said.

And while esports are played with a keyboard or video game controller in hand, Chang said many of the goals football, basketball and volleyball coaches aim to achieve are also in play when it comes to video games.

As the coach, Chang said he pushes students to grow in confidence, learn to work well with others through team exercises, communicate effectively and overcome challenges in the face of adversity.

“It all ties into real-world skills,” Chang said. “In terms of confidence, I’ve seen a lot of growth there. Like in the classroom, you try to take the lessons you teach and translate that to the real world.”

While traditional team aspects like communication and coordination are in play, esports are played in a classroom or library at the school and some students are even capable of competing and practicing from home, given the digital nature of the sport.

There is also a wide variety of games available to esports athletes.

The Verona esports team operates through an organization called PlayVS, which organizes matchups between schools and tracks win loss records. PlayVS supports eight different games, including League of Legends and Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, which are the games Verona has fielded teams for the past few years.

In those two games, Chang said there is a lot of variety for students.

He explained that League of Legends is a team-based game that sees five-person teams working toward a group objective. As coach, his goal is to help the students build characters that complement their individual play styles as well as the builds and play styles of their teammates.

For Smash Bros., the team members compete on an individual level against opposing teams.

Chang likens it to the difference between a basketball team, which operates as a cohesive unit on the court, and a wrestling team, which works together in practice to hone their individual skills for individual competition.

While those are the two games Verona has traditionally played, PlayVS also supports popular games like Rocket League, Splatoon 2, NBA 2K and Madden NFL 22, among others.

“We play Smash and League because that’s the interest we’ve had,” Chang said. “We could do other games if the interest is there.”

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And like other high school sports, the esports team has members who participate in more than one game.

Another difference is that while traditional sports operate on fairly regulated and rigid schedules, the esports arena is newer and smaller, and it is often left to individual coaches to get together and organize matches.

Chang also said that for the past three years there has not been a way for spectators to get involved in the esports competitions, but he is working with school IT to find ways to stream competitions so interested parents, teachers and alumni can watch the team play during competition.

And while traditional team sports see teams traveling to away games on a regular basis, the Verona esports team is able to play their regular season on campus. Though the team has not yet made it to post-season play, Chang said if and when that happens, players will likely have to travel to a central venue for playoffs and finals.

PlayVS pits the Verona team against a wide variety of regional mid-western teams. And because the pool of participating schools is so small, it is not divided into leagues based on school size like traditional sports.

And while no Verona students have yet received scholarships for their performance on the esports team, Chang said one of his goals is to see his team members heading to the college level and play for teams like Mizzou or Ozark Technical College.

And like other sports, there are professional esports leagues with players taking home huge cash prizes for tournaments in a variety of games.

While Verona has one of the only esports programs in the region now, Chang said he expects that will be changing rapidly in the coming years, with esports leagues getting more prominent play on television and online streaming services like Twitch.

“I’d love to see more schools doing it,” he said. “It’s a great way to connect with the kids, and there are a lot of teachers now who were gamers when they were young or continue to game now.” n

Stubb’s Brothers’ Grocery

Steve, left, and David Stubbs, who continue the tradition of a hometown grocery and convenience store at Stubbs Brothers Grocery.

Meeting Today’s Needs with Timeless Charm in Berryville

Stubbs and his wife Lennis bought a 1920s style gas station on Springfield Street in Berryville, Arkansas. Seems the gas station operator, who lived next door, grew tired of people forcing him out of bed in the middle of the night to fill their gas tanks. The Stubbs converted the place into a neighborhood grocery store. An avid gardener with three producing beds, Stubbs and his family became well known for their garden fresh produce, especially the tomatoes, drawing customers from a simple outdoor sign.

Luther also understood his market. What people needed was fast food, not that common in 1953, when Luther bought the store. He came up with the Luther Burger, which at the time was fried bologna and cheese, not a “burger” in the truest sense. But it was a hit.

The store is still known as Luther’s Place. An outdoor sign recalls, “Home of the Luther Burger.”

Fast forward to modern times. The little store, about the size of an economy motel room, is still there, at the corner of East Freeman Avenue and Springfield, which is now the well-traveled Highway 21, about six blocks from downtown. These days the neighborhood has changed. There’s a Tyson Foods plant and the Berryville High School a few blocks away, and newer apartments in the other direction. Luther and Lennis are gone, but sons, Steve and David, still run the place without the colorful flashing signs outdoors, or the internet or blaring TV.

Walking in, a customer faces products stacked to the ceiling on the walls, a counter loaded with a wide variety of candy bars, an ice cream cooler tucked between other displays in the center, sports memorabilia and toys, framed photos and banners for the Arkansas Razorbacks and St. Louis Cardinals draped from the highest ledges.

In the back is the sandwich counter, fresh made like Luther did, with a wider variety of meats but not a lot of extras, like lettuce or tomatoes. “Mustard or mayo?” asks Steve, who has worked at the store since graduating high school. His brother David has worked with him since 1992.

The narrow aisles, wide array of colors from assorted products, the well-filled spaces, give a feeling of a busy home, rather than a sterile store environment. There’s still walk-in traffic. It’s a convenience store in the truest sense, a melding of the timeless need packaged like a neighborhood grocery store.

David Lowery, a customer dropping in from nearby Green Forest, commented, “I grew up coming here. I still do. It’s convenient. If you want to talk about a ballgame, these guys are the best.”

Another customer, Josafine Brians, now of Green Forest, credits her experience with the store to childhood memories. A decade may have passed between visits, but it was all familiar walking in.

“I grew up in Berryville,” she said. “My mom brought me here.”

“We keep pretty much the same soda and chips, candy bars and milk, like our dad had,” said David, “maybe not as much candy. We used to have a lot more canned goods.”

With supply chains shifting, some products have been more difficult to stock. David said their wholesaler no longer provides the original bologna that Luther sold, and now Cajun turkey has become hard to find. Higher prices have impacted the price of sandwiches, but he said the store still sells “quite a few” every day.

There’s a framed comment from local businessman and landscaper Ralph Smith, now in his 90s, hanging on the wall that says, “As a young boy, when walking from sports practice to Stubbs corner, in hopes of hitching a ride home with a neighbor, sometimes I had enough money for a candy bar or a pop. Some way, somehow, you always made me feel I was special. This is not just a note from a little country boy. This is the heartbeat of a community that has been blessed to have Luther Stubbs. — God’s hand extended. Thanks so much.”

Luther kept working till his final year in 2005, and he’s spoken of with the respect due a legend. Other family members have stepped in as needed, like when Steve had surgery a few years back. The goal, David observed, is to continue the store’s tradition as the community needs it. n

A portrait of Luther and Lennis Stubbs, founders of Stubbs Grocery in Berryville.

Pen Pals for Life

Fourth-grade assignment turns into lifelong friendship

In fourth grade, Doyletta “Sissy” Davidson was assigned by her fourth-grade teacher, Patsy Hall, to write a letter to a stranger in Underhill, Va. Doyletta is pictured on the far right, third from the top.

Earlier this year, Doyletta “Sissy” Davidson-Still, for the first time, met her pen pal of 51 years, Pam Deyette, of Underhill, Va. On that occasion, Deyette said she had fulfilled her lifelong dream of meeting Doyletta Still, of Compton, Ark.

Fourth grade — it’s a place where students learn English, history, science and math, improve their handwriting, spelling and memory work.

But for one Rocky Comfort woman, it’s where she made a lifelong friend through a class assignment.

“Our fourth-grade teacher, Patsy Hall, gave us an assignment to write a letter to a pen pal, which turned out to be a student living in Underhill, Va.,” said Doyletta “Sissy” Davidson-Still, who was attending school in a three-room facility in Compton, Ark. “Our teacher was friends with the teacher at Underhill, and that’s how we got the names of our pen pals.”

As students navigated the formalities of introducing themselves to total strangers, somehow, Doyletta and her pen pal, Pam Peterson-Deyette, clicked.

“She attended a real small school, like I did,” Doyletta said. “We just wrote about our daily lives, things that happened.”

But those things included a few of life’s milestones, such as graduation, marriage and babies.

“She got married, and ended up having two boys and a girl,” Doyletta said. “I had two girls and a boy.”

And while most childhood pen pals often fade into the background as daily life steps in to push other matters into the forefront of people’s minds, Doyletta and Pam kept their ink pens ready to share the events of their lives and remained in contact, sporadically, for over 50 years.

“I thought it was cool that Sissy and my mother were both born on Christmas,” Pam said. “We had a unique connection right off.”

“We talked mainly about our families,” Doyletta said. “I thought she was just down to earth, like I am. Like my family, she worked for everything she got. She lives in her old home place now, like she did when we were writing back and forth in school. She graduated a year after I did and then got married a year after I did.”

Pam said they both moved and lost touch for a while.

“I was able to track down her home address after we got a personal computer in the 1990s,” she said. “Then we wrote about how our children were growing up so fast. We talked about the things our husbands and other family members were doing.

“Then Facebook came along, and my daughter was using it to connect with her friends. I had her check to see if Doyletta was on Facebook and she was. So, we communicated through my daughter until I joined Facebook later.”

However, it wasn’t until earlier this year that the two correspondents met face to face.

“One of the things we talked about a lot in those letters so many years ago was wanting to meet each other in person,” Pam said. “As the years went on, I didn’t think it would ever actually happen. Then, my husband and I had the opportunity to take a two-week vacation and drive out to Colorado to visit my son. On the way, I wanted to stop in St. Louis and see the Gateway Arch. I asked Sissy if she would be able to meet me somewhere because we were going to be so close to Missouri, and they graciously invited us

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to their lovely home.”

“I always wondered what she’d be like,” said Doyletta. “She’s just as down to earth as can be. She seemed more like a cousin than a friend, or a pen pal that I’d never met. Our husbands got along well. They even hopped into the truck and drove over to the other farm.”

Doyletta even notified her fourthgrade teacher about the pending visit… on Facebook.

“She said she was happy we were finally going to meet and hoped we would have a good visit,” Doyletta said.

During the visit, Pam got to sample Doyletta’s strawberry-rhubarb cobbler, have dinner, and see Doyletta’s granddaughter play in a ball game before Pam and her husband Don returned to their Mt. Vernon motel room for the evening. They continued their trip to Colorado the following day.

“When we finally met, Pam told me it was her dream come true to finally meet me,” she said. “I had wondered what she’d be like. I think if we lived closer to each other, we’d be best buds. I just feel like I’ve known her forever. If they come back, I hope she will stay here.”

Pam, who works in a candy factory, brought Doyletta some sweet samples and maple syrup harvested from their farm.

“Sissy and Gary were great,” Pam said. “It felt like visiting family. I could have stayed there and talked for hours more, and I do hope that I can make it down to Missouri again.”

Doyletta, on the other hand, hopes to be able to visit Vermont one day.

“I was tickled to death to meet her,” she said. “I’d love to see her again.”

As far as that fourth-grade writing assignment, Doyletta now considers her grade to be an A+.

“Fifty-one years is a long time to keep in touch,” she said. “I’m glad we did. And I’m glad we finally got to meet after all these years.” n