Home Away from Home: Tips for Keeping it Together During a Hospital Stay

home away from home: keeping it together during a hospital stay

by paula yost schupp

When most women think of their pregnancies, they picture themselves either scheduling a C-section or beginning to have contractions at home which leads to them reporting to the hospital for delivery. Some women even envision a beautiful, drug free water birth in a birthing center with a midwife or a homebirth. What no woman ever envisions or dreams of is an out of the blue health complication that leaves you on bed rest or in a hospital for long periods of time. Should you find yourself or should a friend find themselves in such a place, here are a few things you should know and do to survive this time.

First, even if you are placed on bedrest, you will likely be given permission to walk around or move some of the day. Take advantage of every opportunity you are given to get up and move. If you can go outside and the weather is reasonably nice, do that. Often, your nurse can aid you with that. Your muscles and mental health will thank you. I was on a magnesium sulfate drip with my middle child and had a fall risk bracelet on my wrist. My nurse asked me if I wanted a catheter

or if I just wanted to call her every time I had to go to the bathroom. She reminded me that I was in the labor-intensive care unit, so she only had two patients at a time and I was one of them. I really did not want any more tubes in my body than necessary, so I asked her to help me get around when necessary. I’m thankful that I did and I will always be thankful to her for helping me get to the bathroom. The mag drip truly does make it difficult to walk and to feel stable on your feet. Simply getting out of my bed and using the toilet, even assisted, made me feel like a normal woman and not a human incubator. I was in the hospital during a very cold January, but I know other women who could go outside to enjoy spring flowers or fall leaves. Take each of these opportunities. You really have nothing better to do than to care for your body, both physically and mentally.

Second, try to find something to do to entertain and engage your mind. My medical team was horrified to hear that I was richly focused on “The Handmaid’s Tale.” It has a good amount of violence and scenes that make women angry. The show

did touch my emotions, but it didn’t seem to impact my blood pressure one way or another. The show was so intense that when it was on, I wasn’t worrying about me, my baby, or anything else. I was just transported to another world and could focus on that. Find whatever will do that for you. If reading US Magazine and celebrity trash will do it, read that. If you need to watch cooking shows or read an intense novel or series of novels, do it. Do anything that will take your mind successfully off of your current situation and your lack of control.

Third, be mindful of your visitors. Now is not the time to have your mother come visit if your relationship with your mother is toxic and likely to cause you anxiety or raise your blood pressure. If you have a parent who upsets you or says hurtful things to you, they simply do not have to be there. You can text or email the friends you want to see and let them come. Keep it to people who you truly love and who bring you joy and encouragement. Don’t allow anyone there out of a feeling of obligation. Your health is what matters right now, and both your mental and physical health are directly linked to the health of the baby. Remember, when this is all over, you will have a newborn for which to care, and possibly even a NICU stay to endure. You're going to need all the rest and preparation you can get in advance of the situation.

Fourth, try to not view the hospital as prison. This is easier

if you are in your own home, but for me, I was in the hospital and I absolutely felt like I was in jail. My older son was eighteen months old, at home, and I desperately wanted to bust out of there and go back to being his mother. If you find yourself crying more than what you feel is normal for "pregnant you", please ask the doctor if you can talk about depression or possibly see a counselor while in the hospital. Postpartum depression is a very real, scary condition, and you are far more likely to suffer from it if you have been hospitalized or on bed rest for a long time prior to giving birth. Some antidepressants are not safe for pregnant women, but some are and you are better off to have that discussion with your doctor than not. Some hospitals may have an on-site social worker or therapist who can come visit your room. You may also be able to have someone from off-site come in to visit you. Seeking counseling or medication does not make you weak; it makes you strong and means you are doing whatever you must do to make the best out of a really bad situation.

You deserve to be able to grieve whatever pregnancy you wanted to have. I had

my second son at 27 weeks’ gestation and I still mourn that I do not have beautiful maternity photos of myself carrying him.

Finally, try not to worry about what is going to happen. The fact and truth is that you probably do not have a clue and while your doctors are doing their best to help you, they may not know, either. Trying to Google or WebMD yourself is likely a bad way to use your energy, especially when you are surrounded by experts who already know most everything you can find out online. You may also learn information which, while true, may not be beneficial to you. I learned about all kinds of hypothetical conditions that could have killed my son and I did not need to know while I was growing him in a hospital.

Take each day, sometimes each minute, as it comes, and try to live in the present more than you ever have before. The baby who kept me in the hospital is now a handsome, thriving, intelligent, healthy three year old, and I got to have beautiful maternity photos at another time, when I carried his brother to 36 weeks.

During this trying waiting game, nothing is more important than the health of you and your baby.

Paula Yost Schupp currently serves as the Chair of the Child Protection Team in Cabarrus County, NC. In addition to being a federally licensed U.S. Patent and Trademark Attorney, she holds a Masters in Clinical Mental Health. Paula is happily married to her husband of ten years. They have four children, one adopted and three from scratch. To learn more about Paula, visit countrylawshack.com.