an affordable childcare option au pair care:

by michelle somers

YYou’re on your way to welcoming your newest addition, but as the due date approaches, the urgency to complete the preparedness checklist grows. Nursery – check, car seat – check, birth plan –check, baby names – in progress, maternity leave – scheduled… But for single parents and dual income families, there may be one looming area of concern… child care. The questions abound from what type of care, when will it begin, to how are we going to be able to afford it?

Whether it’s your first child, your second or more, this may be the most significant emotional and financial commitment you make for this child until college (or at least until club sports enter the picture).

Childcare --- what choice do you have?

As a new mom-to-be, I was overwhelmed with the search for a safe, comfortable, nurturing environment that was also affordable and had openings for two infants. I naively thought everyone would want my two amazing babies and thought I would be in control of the final decision between an in-home day care, a day care center, or some other perfect scenario. After phone calls, emails, interviews, and site visits, I quickly learned that infant spots are hard to find and that they come at a premium. Suddenly, my

“choices” were becoming more and more limited. Around that same time, my husband met another twin parent that introduced him to the wonderful world of au pair care.

When he first mentioned it to me, my immediate reaction was that’s not for us, we can’t afford a live-in nanny. I was so frustrated with the road I had been on, I conceded to keep an open mind and learn more about it. We learned that an au pair is not a nanny, per se, and the cost of participating in an au pair care program was super reasonable when comparing it to the cost of a more traditional day care setting.

So, what is an au pair?

An au pair is an 18–26-year-old international student seeking a cultural learning experience in the United States in exchange for providing childcare for their host family. They are required to have a minimum of 200 hours of childcare experience and undergo additional training before entering the home of the host family. In the United States, the au pair program is regulated by the State Department, and students travel on a one-year cultural exchange visa. The State Department mandates that au pairs cannot provide child care for more than 10 hours per day, or a total of 45 hours per week.

In exchange for childcare, the host family provides the au pair a private room, meals, and pays him/her a weekly stipend. Additionally, for the host family, there is an educational fee of up to $500 for the au pair to earn up to 6 credit hours while in country, and a program fee to the au pair agency. That is pretty much where the transactional nature of the arrangement ends. Beyond this, the hope is that the host family will welcome the au pair into their home and hearts and the au pair will come to be part of their extended family.

What is the selection process?

As with anything, there are no guarantees of this perfectly bonded relationship, but families and au pairs undergo a thorough application process that includes background checks, references, personal questionnaires, and all of the things you can imagine. Personal interviews between the family and the au pair are critical. Be honest and upfront about what you are looking for, your expectations, and personalities that are in your home. This person is not only

"

I was so happy to extend my 12-month program and join a 2nd family. I was proud to be an integral part of getting the girls potty-trained! I’m even more fulfilled to have been able to watch, from my home in Germany, the girls grow up. They are now the same age I was when I cared for them!

German Au Pair, Loreen

going to be taking care of your child(ren), but will be living in your home, eating meals with you, etc. Once a match is made, the au pair agency finalizes the visa application, arranges travel, and so on.

What is it like having an au pair in your home?

Having an au pair in your home can be an enriching experience. Learning their language, foods and customs truly does open up a whole new world. The exposure to a foreign language and culture, and the potential lifelong bond that is created, is an amazing opportunity.

One day I was in the kitchen making dinner and the plastic letters on the fridge spelled out a seemingly nonsensical word. Our daughter came over, pointed to it and said “flower”. She repeated this several times as if she were reading the word. After a few minutes, I realized the letters spelled "Blumen", the German word for flower! They learned German nursery rhymes and songs and loved to repeat them to everyone who would listen. This developed into a lifelong passion for the German language and culture, including earning a bi-literacy certification in high school.

The au pair may spend off-duty time with your family or they may meet up with other au pairs in the area and explore on their own. Celebrating birthdays and holidays together can also be a wonderful experience and an opportunity to share customs and traditions. If their family or friends are able to visit during their stay, this helps alleviate the homesickness and provides them with an opportunity to share even more about their home life and experiences.

Au pair care certainly isn’t a perfect solution for everyone, but it can be a very rewarding, affordable solution to some families' childcare challenges!

I am glad that we had au pairs instead of being dumped at a day care center. It offered me cultural experiences I wouldn’t otherwise have had. I am glad to have formed lifelong relationships with some of my au pairs; we got to visit them in their home countries a few years ago and meet their children!

Michelle's daughter, Aspen