Conscious Life Journal May/June by Conscious Life Journal

Exclusive Interview with the

Ruiz Family Don Miguel Ruiz Jr. and Don Jose Ruiz

YOGA& PSYCHE

Healing,Transformation, and Joy

PERSONAL

CHOICE Be the Change You Want to See

CONSCIOUS

INTEGRATION

Practice, Practice, Practice

May/June 2018

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CONTENTS

INTERVIEWS 6

A Conversation with the Ruiz Family: Don Migel Ruiz, Jr., Don Jose Ruiz, and a special Q & A with Don Miguel Ruiz

LIFESTYLE 26 Y oga & Psyche Mariana Caplan, PhD, MFT

LET’S GET PERSONAL

FEATURES 12 A n Open Letter to All “Seekers” Conner Beaton 22 T he Yin and Yang How do our unconscious gender biases affect our conscious choices? Yin—Kelli O’Neil Yang—Robert Dallas

SPECIAL SERIES— Choice 14

P sychology of Choice Kim Olver

C ore Values Jack Brown

E rase Fearful Feelings from Your Life Guy Finley 2

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CONSCIOUS PERSPECTIVES 22

I n the Spirit of Conscious Customer Service Sharron Ragan

hen It’s Time to Be Alone W for Love Bob Lancer

24 U sing Your Heart to Quiet Your Mind Deborah Rozman, PhD 25 C onscious Confusion: Navigating the Political Landscape Phil Parker

C onscious 360° Overview— Summary of the 5 Stages; Question and Answer with Hope Merrill

S tage 1/Mind Know Thyself: Consciously Learning the Energy of YOU Michelle Gregg

S tage 2/Body The Missing Link:The Organs! Susan Powell

S tage 3/Spirit Waiting with an Open Heart Diane Glynn

S tage 4/Integration Creating Conscious Change: Practicing an Integrated Life Gareth Young

S tage 5/Balance Reacting vs. Choosing Mary D. Simpson

COLUMNS 11

F ully Human, Fully Spiritual Richard Burdick

R eal Talk: Choice! Martha Burgess Novak

M editation: What is Transcendence? Jay Fenello

E ating for More Energy Brenda Cobb

H ealing with Essential Oils Angila Reid

B ubble Talk With Burge: YOU Have a Choice Burge Smith-Lyons

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Contributing Jack Brown jackdonaldbrown@gmail.com

Guy Finley barbara@guyfinley.com

Susan Powell susan@connectedbodytherapy.com

Richard Burdick rburdick@unitynorth.org

Diane Glynn diane.glynn@unitynorth.org

Sharron Ragan Sharron@sharronragan.com

Martha Burgess theburgessprocess@yahoo.com

Michelle Gregg astrology@michellegregg.com

Angila Reid angireid@comcast.net

Mariana Caplan lindseyk@soundstrue.com

Bob Lancer blparents@aol.com

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Brenda Cobb livingfoodsinstitute@gmail.com

Kim Olver kim@wglasser.com

Mary Simpson marydsimpson@charter.net

Robert Dallas Redallas47@gmail.com

Kelli O’Neill innerhealthandhealing@yahoo.com

Burge Smith-Lyons burge@essenceofbeing.com

Jay Fenello Jay@MindVizor.com

Phil Parker phil@philparker.com

Gareth Young garethjyoung@gmail.com

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Dear Conscious One, Choice is an interesting concept, isn’t it? On the one hand, we embrace and even fight for our ability and freedom to make choices about our lives, and on the other hand, we are sometimes frozen in situations because we feel as if we don’t have a choice, or all of the choices we currently see are not what we want. It is the shift in perspective, the “way” we see the choices, that can set us free and be the miracle in our lives.

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In this issue we explore INTEGRATION. It is in this stage of healing that we are able to understand that we have choices and learn to practice making conscious choices from a place of personal responsibility, without so much fear and judgment.

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Our interviews this issue are with the Ruiz family. It was such a joy to talk with Don Miguel Ruiz Jr and his brother Don Jose Ruiz. Amazing individuals who are following their grandmother’s and their father’s teachings, but both in a unique expression of their own hearts. Our series this issue covers the Psychology of Choice, how our Core Values affect our choices, and the Power of Fear and how being conscious with your fear allows you to change your reactions. Be sure to check out the articles on astrology and how it can help us understand who we really are, the power of personal choice, what to do if you are mad at God, and how to take that next step in living a conscious life! If you love the Journal, we could use your help getting the word out. Subscribe and/or join our mailing list, and be sure to share with a friend. And remember, our advertisers are the Journal’s sole financial support. Please seek them out, call them, buy their products and services, and urge others to join you in doing the same. We welcome your thoughts, comments, and review. Simply send an email to hope@myconsciouslifejournal.com. Our goal is to serve our conscious community and those seeking to live more consciously. Let us know how we are doing! In Gratitude,

• 88% meditate and attend at least one self-improvement course or class per year.

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INTERVIEW A conversation with the Ruiz Family

Don Migel Ruiz Jr.

CLJ:

I love how you and your dad and brother and grandmother were so much a part of your life. What was it like to grow up with this kind of legacy? MRJ: People say that I’m walking in my father’s footsteps but I’m actually continuing my grandmother's dream. She was a spitfire of a woman, a gogetter; she had this drive, this desire to share. She was the spiritual head of the family (in Mexico), the matriarch, and she had thirteen children. My father, Don Miguel Ruiz, was a medical surgeon and general surgeon. The youngest four of the thirteen became doctors. That tells you a lot about who she was. She was very strong in her faith, in God, and in herself and life. When she set her mind to something she went all out. If she wanted to create something she created it. Her father and her great grandfather, who taught the tradition in their own unique way, taught just a few people because it was still taboo to teach outside the community. But my grandmother had this desire to share the tradition with everyone. So in her early sixties she opened a spiritual temple in San Diego where she began 6

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to teach and share the tradition with her community. She was a faith healer so she shared the tradition in that way, but on Thursdays and Sundays she would give cátedras, lectures or sermons, and she developed this whole community in contrast to her father and her grandfather. The community of San Diego inducted her into the San Diego Women’s Hall of Fame for keeping that tradition alive.

CLJ: Tell me how your life was shaped by being a part of this family. MRJ: I was born and raised in San Diego, California but I went to school in Tijuana, Mexico, so I was one of those rare cases who crossed the border every day to go to school in Mexico even though I lived in the States. I grew up with the contrast of my grandmother’s spirituality with the academics of school (I was part of a program called International Baccalaureate), a father and uncles who are medical doctors, as well as going to school in Mexican culture and living in American culture in San Diego. Those contrasts and juxtapositions taught me to see from different points of view and I’m the result of that.

When my father began his apprenticeship with my grandmother and the Toltec traditions, he began to “clean it up.” The Four Agreements is the result of that work. He took out the superstitious stuff that people were becoming fanatical with and left the essence of the teachings, the “common sense.” That’s what makes The Four Agreements such a huge success. We can relate to it regardless of our backgrounds. When The Four Agreements came out in 1997, I picked up the book, read three chapters, and put it down. It was my dad telling me what to do all over again. Listening to your grandmother and your father teach you about tradition is like reading a textbook. What does that have to do with my life? But I love my grandmother, I love my father, so I listened. After college it was life, with consequences for every action you take, responsibilities, and relationships that become serious. I picked up the book again because I was going through my own process, and I began to relate with it and interpret that into my life. I began to understand the tradition not as something textbook, or something that belongs in a museum, but as something relevant to my life. I began

DON MIGUEL RUIZ

The Toltec Art of Life and Death

So what do I want out of life? I want to enjoy my relationship “with my wife, my relationship with my children, my father, and my family, and I do the work that allows me to have that . . .”

to put it in my own words, in my own language, my own understanding. You let life become your teacher, and the teachings of my grandmother and my father taught me we’re just instruments that inform our choices. But I’m the one making the choice.

Q: The dream landscape of your coma was fertile

CLJ: I love that you’re creating a legacy as a family. If you could sit down with all the people who are going to read this interview, and speak to them from your heart, what would you say?

A: The story of my life is a reflection, allowing

MRJ: To enjoy life. The whole point of all the work we do is to enjoy life. We enjoy life by enjoying being ourselves. I help people heal from the wounds conditional love has left in their lives. Those conditions that subjugated our love make us feel inferior. My favorite quote by Eleanor Roosevelt says, “No one can make me feel inferior without my consent.” It resonates with my father’s Agreement “don’t take anything personally.” But I see that I’ve given myself permission to make me feel inferior continuously. I’m not good enough, I’m not happy enough, I’m not whatever. Those are the things that limit my life, my happiness, my potential, and if I want to have a different life it starts with me. This is where it has affected me. A moment of clarity without any action is just a thought that passes in the wind. But a moment of clarity followed by action becomes a pivotal moment in our lives. For me, a moment of clarity is where I’ve become aware that I use my own words against me. If I let a belief dictate who I’m supposed to be or who I’m not supposed to be or allow someone else’s point of view or prejudice, then I’m not living my life. I’m living someone else’s life through their point of view. So what do I want out of life? I want to enjoy my relationship with my wife, my relationship with my children, my father, and my family, and I do the work that allows me to have that, and part of that is to heal the wounds that have created a division between me and the people I love. And in doing that kind of work I begin to slowly enjoy my life, not as it should be, but as it is. To enjoy life is to let go of the wounds of conditional love that subjugated our will and begin to love ourselves unconditionally, which is simply the willingness to see ourselves as we really are. Once I see myself as I really am I accept myself. I am the sum of every choice I have ever made, but at this very moment I am the youngest I will ever be. I have my whole life ahead of me. What do I want to create with that life? What do I want to enjoy? What do I want to say? The beautiful thing about that is the only person who gets to answer that is me. I get to see everyone in my life and they’re all equal, and the reason that they’re my equals is because we’re both alive at the same time, and while continued on p8

ground for discovering deeper meaning in your life beyond limited knowledge in a universal truth. Where can readers look to find examples of truth in their own lives? everyone else to see that their life is also just a story. In this version of the story I am the hero and the villain, just like they are in theirs. In my life, I created the main character of Miguel. This character represents everything I know, so you can also call him Knowledge. Every reader creates the main character of his or her story; every reader has to face his or her own lies and redeem himself.

Q: The reader is taken on a magical journey— both in the narrative of your story and in the opportunity to relate your revelations to their own lives. There are moments of new discovery juxtaposed with moments of deep remembering. Now years after the experience, which feelings still resonate the strongest for you, adventure or remembering?

A: Both memories and adventures are important to me; I see them as tools for sharing my message. I love to use human imagination to create beautiful stories. If we don’t invest all our emotional energy in the stories, we can see clearly what they are trying to tell us. The message of life is one of love, truth, and unity. There is only one being; nothing else is real. This one being is alive, and everything, including each of us, is a part of it.

Q: One of the lessons of the story is that “the

privilege of knowledge is to serve the message of life.” How do you practice this? How can readers better serve and cultivate their own expressions of this universal message?

A: You can tame your knowledge. Words can obey

life. You are life. The challenge is to transform “Me,” the main character, and make him or her our ally—life’s ally. He or she can now serve the human being, instead of being the tyrant. I tell all of my readers, “You don’t have to be you! The character you imagine yourself to be is not real. You are life.” May/June 2018

we’re both alive anything is possible. We’re co-creating. We can co-create the most perfect, harmonious dream or the most perfect nightmare. It’s our choice. I’m the creator of my perfect nightmare or I’m the creator of my harmonious dream. Which one do I want?

CLJ: What are some of the practices that keep you in that space? MRJ: I run—half-marathons and marathons—so running is my meditation. On a long run, in the first four miles I can hear my mind just jibber-jabber, all this negative, sometimes positive, stuff. Around mile four my mind surrenders, and all of a sudden the only thing that exists is the environment I’m in, my breath, my body that’s running, and a silence. Silence for a good five miles where I’m just present to be alive, I know the environment around me, I know how I feel, and it feels wonderful. Then around mile twelve the voice comes back and this time it’s not jibber-jabber but my ally helping me finish. It says, “All right, you’ve got two more miles, you can do this, Miguel.” I love to run because it allows me to cross the thresholds that my mind says I couldn’t cross. I love the physical experience of proving myself wrong. The first time I crossed five miles I thought, “Wow, look at that. What else can I do?” and little by little I crossed little thresholds. Trusting myself, that faith that my grandmother had, I begin to translate that into other things in my life. Now that I’ve crossed those thresholds I’m able to change the things in my life that no longer help and introduce something that does. I put that into practice with my relationship with my

wife, with my children. When you allow yourself that experience to cross that threshold something amazing happens. You recover this confidence, this trust in yourself, and that strength allows you to say yes with confidence and no with confidence. It allows you to make choices. I see my grandmother’s teachings in that and my father’s teachings. It’s not something that belongs in a textbook, it’s something really tangible, and all that’s required is to start.

CLJ: Is there anything more you would like to say to our readers? MRJ: We’re the constant in every relationship. If we have conditional love in our hearts that’s all we have to share. But if we become aware of that and decide to change and begin to love ourselves unconditionally, to heal the wounds, then we become the constant opportunity for unconditional love in all our relationships, whether those people love us back or not in that way. As long as we heal ourselves we are able to give that healing or share that love or share that personal freedom. So in that constant opportunity, which one do we choose? And how do we choose to express that? It’s up to us. f Don Miguel Ruiz Jr. is a Nagual, a Toltec Master of Transformation. He is a direct descendant of the Toltecs of the Eagle Knight lineage and is the son of don Miguel Ruiz. When he was only 14 years old, don Miguel Ruiz Jr. apprenticed to his father don Miguel Sr. and his grandmother, Madre Sarita, to learn how to they manifested their intent to heal people, both physically and spiritually. By combining the wisdom of his family’s traditions with the knowledge gained from his own personal journey, he now helps others realize their own path to personal freedom.

Don Jose Ruiz CLJ: I would love to hear about your grandmother and how you grew up with this tradition that your family has. JR: My grandmother was a great teacher, a great mentor who taught me the power of faith, believing in something 100 percent. She always told me that we humans don’t believe in ourselves, we don’t have faith in ourselves, we always doubt ourselves, we make ourselves less. If you really respect yourself and what the Lord has given you in life, you can close your eyes and imagine where genes come from. So when you open your eyes I want you to realize you are an artist. That’s what Toltec means—“artist of the spirit.” With this you can create anything, you can overcome anything, you can achieve anything. The only thing is you have to believe in you. 8

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“ The Four Agreements teaches us to be in our integrity with ourselves. The first time I read it I told my dad, “I know this

information.” “Of course you know it,” he said. “Everyone knows it, because it’s integrity talking to integrity. ” But you can also use your words against yourself. If we are negative, we open up vortexes of negativity that become our living nightmare, and then we don’t realize we are living a nightmare and we cannot wake up. That’s why it’s important to realize that we can control any weather within us. If we feel sad or nervous or feel an emotional drain, any emotion coming through us, we can change the weather, and this is where we place our faith. In ourselves. This is why it’s beautiful to hear my father’s Agreements, to realize that the kind of life I was leading was just a nightmare that I created. The Four Agreements teaches us to be in our integrity with ourselves. The first time I read it I told my dad, “I know this information.” “Of course you know it,” he said. “Everyone knows it, because it’s integrity talking to integrity.” I said, “Okay, these Agreements are so easy I’m going to master them.” Two weeks later I came to him. “Father, these Agreements are very difficult.” “No,” he said, “these Agreements are easy. What’s difficult are the agreements that you’ve made in your life.” In that moment I knew I was going against my integrity, I was misusing my faith. Emotions are hard because they make us feel pain, guilt, shame. The moment we stand in the storm and know that we’re going to change it, then we don’t give power to any story that affected us any longer. The stories are not real anymore. In Toltec tradition we unlearn what takes away our inspiration to live life. So I’m grateful to my grandmother because she taught me the power of faith, that we can live any reality we want to. The important thing is to take action when we have that faith in ourselves.

CLJ: How old were you when you woke up? JR: The first layer of waking up was when I was eleven with the death of my grandfather. I woke up a little bit. But the moment I completely woke up was probably seven years ago when I realized the meaning of my life is to take care of Jose. I realized that myself, my body, my reflection, is my mind who has been loyal to me, but I haven’t been loyal to it. I have to protect myself from myself and not give power to the things that make my life a nightmare. Little by little I began changing my relationships, changing my direction with people. I don’t always have to be right because the truth doesn’t care to be proven or debated, the truth just cares to live and exist. From this point on I understood the higher pull of the Toltec which means respect, respect for everybody else’s mind, everybody else’s temple, everybody else’s belief system, especially my own. We humans tend to sacrifice our happiness for things that support negativity and we don’t even realize that. But we can begin waking up the artist and being responsible for our actions and knowing that we’re creating something on this earth. When you’re aware that enlightenment is just an act of clean consciousness, and when your consciousness is clean, you are in the state where Egyptians say your heart is like a feather, and you can be in heaven. If your consciousness is not clean, then you’re never going to be in heaven because you’re never going to be at peace. But when you make peace with yourself and keep your consciousness clean, then you don’t have to lie, you

don’t have to pretend, you don’t have to wear a mask for anybody, you don’t have to sacrifice, you can be your authentic self without judging yourself. Everything bad that happened to us was supposed to happen because it happened. And the moment that we begin healing from that something happens to us. This is the beautiful thing about forgiveness, to forgive ourselves for all the lies we have been living, for judging ourselves, for putting ourselves down, for hurting others when we didn’t know any better. Now when we awake we gain consciousness and integrity. We’re responsible for what we create and this becomes like an inner independence. We find our freedom and the freedom isn’t outside the box, it’s within us. We no longer use the word against ourselves or against others. We’re gathering awareness and negativity is showing its face big time. Because it feels the presence of the truth. It feels the presence of humanity waking up. Whenever there is negativity there comes healing and the healing will come on stronger than the negativity will ever imagine.

CLJ: Do you think that’s what’s happening in our world right now? This is a part of the collective consciousness, that opening to healing? JR: Absolutely. Our sacred hearts have a calling. There is no accident that the Internet exists because the Internet can give information at the speed of light. Humanity cannot lie, or pretend, or cover up things anymore because the heart is completely awakened. Catastrophes happen around the world May/June 2018

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because a lot of healers are waking up from many traditions, from religions, from military schools, from different walks of life. The voice of the truth begins to speak up. Everybody begins to be impeccable with their words and we cannot lie to ourselves any longer. That’s why the change begins with ourselves, then it continues in our homes, in our workspace, and it’s not the words that we share, it’s the presence that we carry because this is how we’re communicating. Everything that is happening in this world right now is in perfect timing because we’re ready for change. This time is the correct time to take this action. And gratitude is the key to freedom. Gratitude to ourselves that we learn to listen, that we accept that we don’t want to be living in lies. We want to be authentic and open-hearted and giving gratitude to our families and our ancestors for giving us this information. It’s an honor to open our hearts and to help change life because once we were one of those lives that got changed, and the best way to do it is to pay it forward, to give what was given to us. We don’t have to corrupt every word or every story to become addicted to suffering. We can free ourselves from that and use the word with integrity because what we say is what creates dreams and the magic behind them. If we feel upset and we’re not impeccable with our words we can be full of poison and hurting our bodies and the words that come out of our bodies are going to be full of poison and break dreams, break inspiration, and hurt people. But

we can control our own poison as well. We can have respect for the words that come out of us because we have returned to integrity. This is the gift of the Four Agreements. The return to integrity to ourselves to live in a peaceful world in the way that we deserve to live, the way we were meant to be. Every time that voice begins playing that you’re not perfect and nobody loves you and you have self-doubts that sabotage your own dream, don’t believe it. Be skeptical of that negativity. That’s what the Fifth Agreement is all about, to be skeptical of our own negativity and to listen to our hearts. We like to make it complicated because we believe that we cannot change, but when you believe that you can change, you will change, because that is the power of your faith.

CLJ: Is there anything else that you’d like to share with our readers? JR: Don’t sacrifice your art for anything. And when I say art I mean your life, your happiness, your joy. Be thankful you live like it was the last moment of your life. Enjoy each moment and make your life a masterpiece of art because this is what you’re here for. Let’s give our loved ones something more beautiful than we can ever give them materially. Let’s change ourselves, the negative habits. Let’s begin training right now, because wherever we put attention, that’s what we’re going to perceive. So this moment make that intent, make that a new agreement with yourself that you’re ready to let go of things that don’t serve you anymore and it will create a presence that you will share with yourself first, and then with your loved ones. This is what resurrection is all about. To resurrect the divine heart that exists in every one of us so we can wake up and really change this world, beginning with ourselves and continuing with our brothers and sisters. May your sun shine bright, my brothers and sisters. f Don Jose Ruiz, son of don Miguel Ruiz, is the international best-selling author of The Fifth Agreement, Ripples of Wisdom, and My Good Friend the Rattlesnake. As a Toltec Master of Transformation and modern-day Shaman, don Jose has dedicated his life to sharing the wisdom of the ancient Toltec through his books, lectures, and journeys to sacred sites around the world. His passion is to help children stay away from gangs and drugs by developing healthy outlets, such as music and other creative avenues. He will continue to share the wisdom of his family lineage through his own life experiences. For more information visit: www.miguelruiz.com

Fully Human

Fully Spiritual

by Rev. Richard Burdick

onsider for a moment that the often-heard phrase “we are spiritual beings having a human experience” has inadvertently created an unhealthy divide. Many, who play in the realm of metaphysics, run the risk of developing an undercurrent of subconscious belief that there is something more sacred or holy about one part of our being than another. It seems at times that our relative existence and human ego are too easily discarded as insignificant. This consciousness creates an unrealistic desire for perpetual positivity that manifests as ungrounded and superficial affirmations. Now consider that we are not in human form by accident, but rather that our human emotions, experiences, thoughts, and relationships are an integral and inextricable part of a magnificent whole. Could it be that this earthly existence is an essential component of an integrated system so vital that it informs our spirituality even as our spirituality informs our humanity? What if being fully human and fully Divine at the same time was not only possible but necessary? Not only necessary but unavoidable? Certainly, there is evidence that each day contains moments that serve as a portal through which we touch the face of God and our own Divinity. Through the five-sensory world, we experience the giving and receiving of kindness, compassion, and tenderness that is then processed through a non-physical dimension of being. By doing so, something stirs at the spiritual level that then inspires more of the same actions. One is imperative to the other or the flow of good simply stagnates. There is reciprocal movement of energy that indicates an essential integration of emotion, spirit, and behavior. Does this theory stand true when viewing the more painful and difficult aspects of our earthly existence? As I reflect upon my life, the most challenging human conditions I have encountered were among the most potent in the development of my spiritual practice. Without these moments, I’m not sure I would be the man, minister, or spiritual seeker that I am today. They have influenced decisions, meditations, prayers, and actions that have alleviated a great deal of further human suffering— mine and that of others. It’s all interconnected. Remaining fully present during times of human distress allows us access to undiscovered spiritual powers that then afford us the strength to navigate the waters of this earth school with greater ease and grace. No longer will we run to Spiritual dimensions to fix or dismiss our humanness. Rather, we experience each day, emotion, thought, and challenge as the pathway to the awareness that not only are we spiritual beings having a human experience, we are human beings having a beautiful and sacred experience of our humanity! f

Rev. Richard Burdick is the Senior Minister at Unity North Atlanta. As a minister, teacher, and musician he is passionate about community building, interfaith cooperation, and transdenominational spirituality. More info about Richard and Unity North at www.unitynorth.org Discover Sunday mornings with Richard Burdick! At Unity North Atlanta, Sunday mornings are about you! We are in this together . . . on a journey of discovery. Learning, laughing, and growing, we take care of one another. Start your week off energized and ready to live your life to the fullest! unitynorth.org May/June 2018

SEEKERS An Open Letter to All “Seekers” I

sn’t it mind-blowing how many of us pay for truth, connection, and reality but don’t show up when they’re right in front of us? We buy an online course and do 20 percent. We buy books and read a third. We sign up for events we never attend. So many of us are searching for something we feel is missing or broken, thinking we won’t be happy and whole until we find it. We struggle to feel content no matter what we are doing, who we’re with, or what we’ve accomplished. So we pay for

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by Connor Beaton

something, hoping and praying it will connect us to some “absolute truth.” Seekers, you’re not lost. You’re not broken, or empty, or wrong. You’re just looking. And that’s okay. There is one universal truth I’ve learned through all of this, and I wish I could tell every seeker on the planet: We’ll never find answers to these questions if we don’t give everything we’ve got! We need to jump in feet first and learn how to swim. Play fullout. Buy the online course and do the whole damn thing, not because

we paid $97 for it, but because it could literally hold the key to our enlightenment. The worst thing we can do as seekers is to sign up for everything and show up for nothing. I know this because my life didn’t change until I did. All of the unread, unfinished, uncommitted things had a cost—a weight that was holding me back from seeing my actual truth. The problem wasn’t the programs or the books. The problem was my (lack of) commitment to finding answers.

So from one seeker to another, here are three things I learned after wandering for years.

123 he Four Life-Changing Words. T “Belief clings and faith allows.”

– Alan Watts The challenging aspect of belief is that sometimes there is no evidence, no real proof that we should believe. Because of this, sometimes it seems impossible to do so. Our job isn’t to constantly seek out evidence to believe something will happen the way we want. Our job is to have action-based faith. We need to take action in the right direction (where we feel we should go) and have faith that whatever is meant to happen will happen. We need to notice where our mind is seeking evidence to believe and shift by asking ourselves, “What action could I take to have more faith?” Faith is not blind; it helps us see what our minds cannot, but only when we’ve taken action that allows faith to be present.

Stop Saying Yes to Sh*t that’s a No!

Stop Half-Assing Everything and Start Whole-Assing One Thing

How do we know what to say “no” to? Simple: if we aren’t going to complete something, press Ctrl + Delete. Unsubscribe from the email lists we never open. Donate the books we aren’t going to finish. Say no to people who drain our time, happiness, resources, and faith in humanity. So many of us are seeking happiness because we don’t know what it looks like. We confuse ourselves about what’s a “f*ck yeah!” and a “f*ck no.” It’s all just “meh, I guess so.” We will never find answers living a “meh” life.

There are a lot of people who know a little about a lot of things, but not many who know a lot about a few things. The “would I read this three times?” strategy is immensely powerful. Most people buy books they don’t even plan on reading once, never mind three times. This strategy forces us to be intentional and to commit to something deeply. So choose what you want to wholeass. Choose, intentionally, what you want to commit to and then dive in like a Navy SEAL. So have action-based faith, say no, whole-ass the things that bring you joy, and before you know it, you’ll have the answers you’ve been seeking for years. f Full text available at http://connorbeaton. com/open-letter-seekers/

Connor Beaton is the founder of ManTalks, an international organization focused on men’s health, wellness, success, and fulfillment. Connor is also an international speaker, podcast host, CEO, and leader of ManTalks mission to build a global brotherhood. Connor has been featured at TEDx, Forbes, The Good Men Project, CBS, and the National Post. https://mantalks.com/ May/June 2018

s e r i e s

C H O I C E

PSYCHOLOGY OF

CHOICE by Kim Olver, Executive Director, William Glasser International

hoice Theory® psychology, proposed by Dr. William Glasser, provides an explanation of human behavior that illuminates why people do what they do, including how people develop their personal preferences and biases. All of us are born with five basic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom, and fun. We all have the same needs, but the strength of the needs is unique to us. A person with a high need for survival plans for the unexpected, brainstorming about things that can go wrong and either creating plans for managing those things or deciding not to do them. Those with a high need for love and belonging have intense personal relationships, don’t like conflict, and want to be accepted by others. The power need is the need to feel important, be respected, and make a difference. People with a high need for freedom want to do what they want, when they want, without restriction. And those with high fun needs have three ways to get that need met: play, relaxation, and meaningful learning. You cannot change the genetic makeup of your needstrengths. However, you can alter your preferences and biases, which come from your perceptions. One way to change your perceptions is to create new and different experiences for yourself. Another is to question your values. 14

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Is the information they are based on accurate? Is there another way to look at things? People are motivated to change perceptions when the way they look at the world is interfering with them getting what they want and they are ready to take responsibility for that fact, rather than looking to place blame outside of themselves. We each have a Quality World where life is exactly the way we want it. When our feelings and physiology get out-of-whack, we typically look for the cause outside ourselves. How could we believe we are creating our own misery? Choice Theory explains that because of our need for power and the desire to control things outside ourselves, we will often attempt to control situations and people around us by complaining, blaming, criticizing, nagging, threatening, punishing, and bribing. The problem with using these destructive habits is that we are also chipping away at the very foundation of the relationships we have with people. No one likes to be controlled. Choice Theory trusts in a person’s ability to act in his or her own best interest when outside forces aren’t being applied. We cannot make another person do something they really don’t want to do. The better approach is to accept everyone in your life for who they are. Focus on what you can do to get what you want without interfering with others getting what they need. If

someone in your life acts in a way that causes you pain, you have choices. You are in control of you and your decisions. Learning and applying Choice Theory psychology in your life will be the most freeing and frustrating thing you will ever do. You get to choose your course of action. You get to choose your response. Victor Frankl wrote, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” One of the most fundamental questions to ask yourself is, “What kind of person do I want to be?” Once you know the answer to that question, you will go back to that

fundamental question and make your decisions based on who you want to be, regardless of whatever else is happening around you. What’s it going to be? The choice is yours. f Kim Olver is the Executive Director of William Glasser International and has taught over 150 WGI trainings. She’s the award-winning, best-selling author of Secrets of Happy Couples and the co-author of Leveraging Diversity at Work. Learn more about Choice Theory training: www.wglasser.com. Apply Choice Theory in your life here:

http://mentalhealthandhappiness.com/your-daily-challenge/

ur DNA may determine our looks, our IQ, and maybe our chances of living to 100. But as human beings, we are sculpted into who we are by thousands of events and choices. We are a whole myriad of preferences influenced by our parents, teachers, conversations, thoughts, and experiences, our town, culture, and religion. For each of us the sum of all these becomes our unique self. All of my living, all of my choices, all of my joy and pain has created ME. I love sunshine and warm weather and suffer gloomy, cold, winter days! I also like people and will almost always choose meeting with friends over curling up with a good book. But my random likes and dislikes won’t tell you who I am. Not enough information. What then really would let you know? I believe we are our core values, those distinct sets of fundamental beliefs that dictate our behavior and help us distinguish right from wrong. To a great extent they define our courage, self discipline, compassion, generosity, commitment, integrity, and more and influence most, if not all, of our decisions. Some of my core values are God first, family second, then friends, work, and anything else. Also, I’m responsible for me, the good and the bad, and there is no one to blame. (There are moments that this is hard to remember!) I’m loyal to my friends . . . period. And in all of life a sense of humor sure helps. Easy questions: You have lunch with friends. How much do you tip? Or you see a person at a busy intersection with a sign, do you give him any money? Or do you buy Girl Scout cookies even though you won’t eat them? All of these are influenced by our core values and there are no consequences to your decisions. Harder questions: The spouse of a good friend seems overly flirtatious. Do you tell your friend? Or a friend seems very depressed. Is he suicidal and do you get involved? Or you see a colleague at work drinking at lunch. Do you

C O R VALUES by Jack Brown

Continued on page 16

May/June 2018

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C H O I C E

Continued from page 15

speak to her? Or a family member is on life support but wants to be taken off. Do you grant him his wish? All of these will be influenced by your core values but all have consequences that accompany your actions. Difficult questions: Many men, women, and children are homeless in America, some living in shelters, some in cars, and some on the streets. What do you do? Or some of our elderly citizens are challenged to buy and prepare food, purchase prescriptions, and get to their doctors. What do you do? Or millions of people worldwide live without clean water and as a direct result thousands of children die annually. What do you do? This is where our core values most impact our lives. The more difficult the question, the more difficult the response. There are no easy, clear, right, or wrong choices to the hardest questions. But our core values will remind us that we are a part of a greater humanity and implore us to act in spite of our fears. As we get involved, take action, and acknowledge that we care, the cost and consequences that were barriers lessen in strength and fade. At the end of the day we can each take stock of our most important core values. Who are they calling us to be? f Jack Brown is an active participant in the Men’s Movement and celebrates the differences between men and women. He mentors men to live with excellence and as mature men, create successful families, careers, and communities. He is married and the father of four daughters. He lives in Roswell, Georgia. 16

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Erase Fearful

FEELINGS

from Your Life by Guy Finley

ny seemingly scary condition in your life, whatever it may be, is not the real problem. It’s your reaction to it that has you shaking. If you become truly conscious of a fearful condition instead of afraid of it, you change forever your relationship with fear. Being conscious of your fear empowers you to interact with it in an entirely new way. This new inner relationship gives you the power to be awake to fear’s scary influences, instead of being their unconscious slave. And as each day you discover something new about the shaky nature of your own fearful reactions, they lose their power over you. You see them for what they have always been: unintelligent, mechanical forces. To be consciously afraid means that you know you are frightened. You feel it, but at the same time you know

that these very fears, as real as they may seem, are not you. Fear is really nothing other than a self-limiting reaction that we’ve always mistaken for a shield of selfprotection. It’s time to let it go, which you can do anytime you want. Here’s how: Dare to proceed, even while being afraid. This not only shows you the reactions you’ve had, but it also empowers you to start seeing through Continued on page 18

RealTalk

with Martha Burgess Novak

CHOICE

e got a ticket for not wearing a helmet on his motorcycle and, instead of admitting he was wrong, he decided to sue the state for making the law in the first place. She worked for a company that destroyed other companies and fired the workers. Her employer, a ruthless, high-conflict individual, was her father figure and she strove to please him by trying to be just like him and going against her caring nature. She crippled herself to find relief. He worked for big corporations and worked himself to death, putting in long hours and habitually taking work home. Over time, he’d grow resentful of each company. Embroiled in drama, he’d quit impulsively, only to do it again and avoid the wonderful life he said he wanted. When he finally woke to what he was doing, he impulsively made a decision to quit corporate life completely and “live off the land,” not having a clue how to do so. He went bankrupt. What do all of these stories have in common? These people thought they were making choices for their lives when all they were doing was reacting out of core issues. Reacting is the best the egoic child’s mind can do. The best choices, however, are in the domain of the Highest Self. Why do we react instead of choose? Because fear-

Available on Amazon

based core issues drive everything you say and do, often subconsciously. However, hope is on the way! The journey to consciousness inevitably changes reactions to choices. Here are some tips to help you with the process: Analyze your motives for doing anything. Are you behaving out of fear? Is your motive all about you? If so, this is a reaction. Or are you sincerely and deliberately trying to create a win-win? This is the domain of the Highest Self. Be emotionally honest by revealing your authenticity. Learn the vocabulary of emotion, be able to label your feelings, face your feelings, and express them healthily. Once you are sure you are making a choice instead of having a reaction, act on as much information as possible or, better yet, wait until you have all the information. We all make mistakes. Forgive yourself for making them. Reinvent. Move on. And reinvent some more. Making conscious and deliberate choices is an empowering thing. Intrinsic to choice is growth, and in growth there is learning, reinventing, cooperating with God, and getting what you want. Fear is just not worth holding onto.f Martha Burgess Novak is a spiritual teacher, author, lecturer, and peak performance trainer who works with individuals and corporations. She also has a school for spiritual healing and development where she teaches her method and is the author of The Life You Want and The Teacup Prophecies. Visit her radio show on www.blogtalkradio.com/marthaburgessnovak. www.marthaburgessnovak.net

The Burgess Process A comprehensive program of healing for all serious students of consciousness that is totally unique! Learn to live the life you really want by unearthing the deep and complex psychology of the egoic child’s mind. Address the mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual bodies, while Martha takes you on the most amazing journey of your life through her no-nonsense approach.

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ANNOUNCING

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Holistic Healing teaches you how to communicate with your body, awaken you to the doctor within, and return you to health and wholeness. It is a complement to conventional medicine that will activate your body’s natural ability to heal itself. “Your body has everything it needs to heal, you just need to learn how to listen.”

~Mindy Strich

Dr. Rankin Certified Instructor | Mindy Strich www.mindystrich.com | (678) 642-7771

“ Remember, your aim is not to win an ego victory, but rather to watch and learn something new about yourself.”

them. Each of your new insights into their actual nature removes some of their power over you. Better yet, their loss is your gain! Do you know someone whom you would rather run from than run into? Starting right now, resolve never again to avoid any person who scares you. In fact, walk right up to that critical or aggressive person. If you have something to say, say exactly what you want, instead of letting fear tell you what to do. Have no ideas at all about the way things should or shouldn’t go. Remember, your aim is not to win an ego victory, but rather to watch and learn something new about yourself. Let that person see you shake, if that’s what starts to happen. It’s only temporary. Besides, that unpleasant person before you can’t know it, but you’re shaking yourself awake! 18

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Meditation

Jay Fenello

MEDITATION

What is Transcendence?

hat does Christianity share with Native American traditions? What does the Kabbalah share with ancient Sumerian traditions? As different as our many world traditions are, they all share some approach to higher states of consciousness. While their approaches may vary, their ultimate destination is the same. To reach this common destination, they target similar brain states that are conducive to the transcendent experience. Last time, we defined the most commonly targeted brain state as The Harmony Point (THP). Today, we’ll define the second most targeted brain state and explain how these two states are related to transcendence. Single Point Awareness (SPA)

Stand your inner ground even if it feels as though you might fall through the floor. Allow your reactions to roll by you instead of letting them carry you away as they’ve always done in the past. If you’ll fight for yourself in this new way, your inner eyes will open and you’ll see what were once unconscious reactions—a shaky story that up until now you’d taken as your own. But it’s not. Those fears don’t belong to you and they never have. Everything about your life changes in this one moment. Because the only thing you’ve ever been frightened by is your own thoughts about that person. The fear you always felt was in what you thought he or she was thinking about you. You have been afraid of nothing but your own thoughts! Amazing isn’t it? This article is excerpted from Design Your Destiny by Guy Finley, © 2017 Life of Learning Foundation, Inc. All rights reserved. f Guy Finley is the best-selling author of more than forty books and audio albums on selfrealization. He is the founder and director of Life of Learning Foundation, a nonprofit center for spiritual development located in southern Oregon where he gives talks open to the public four times each week. For more information please visit http://www.guyfinley.org/

If THP is the launching pad to higher states of consciousness, then Single Point Awareness (SPA) is the gateway. SPA is the total immersion in a single object of your attention, without regard to any other distractions. It is, in effect, THP plus a single point of focus. So what do these interim brain states have to do with transcendence? This question highlights another difficulty in writing about this topic. Not only are some terms and concepts yet to be defined, but some commonly used terms have such varied definitions that the term itself is no longer useful in conveying a concept. So it is with “transcendence.” What is Transcendence?

World traditions seem to have very different definitions of transcendence. Some claim that it’s a way to connect with God or a specific prophet or angel. Older traditions are more likely to claim it’s a connection to spirits or pagan gods or other worldly beings. If we remove references to the assorted deities involved and compare what remains, we end up with the common experience of transcendence. People who have had a transcendent experience describe it as a connection to something outside themselves, with total awareness of the subject of their transcendence, and a complete lack of awareness of anything else. In other words . . . Transcendence = THP + SPA + “Connection to Source”

• Awareness of nothing else (THP) • Total immersion in the experience (SPA) • Connecting to something bigger/beyond themselves (Connection to Source) When defined this way, many artists, musicians, and scientists have also had transcendent experiences. Just listen to how they describe the moment they get their creative spark or see something no one has ever seen before. You’ll be amazed at how similarly their descriptions align. They are all describing transcendent experiences. I always get excited when I hear or read about someone describing a transcendent experience. Most recently, it was Gregg Allman describing how he came to write one of his songs. I’ve heard similar stories about Albert Einstein, Nicholas Tesla, and even Steve Jobs. Bottom line, transcendence is a good thing for people and society, which is why I’m so passionate about this topic. Until next time . . . f Jay Fenello is the creator of the MindVizor, a ganzfeld meditation aid that provides benefits similar to floating, without the mess or expense. Visit the MindVizor.com website for product details, and tips on meditation and mindfulness. May/June 2018 19

YinYang

AN EXPLORATION OF OUR

How do our unconscious gender biases

“With conscious awareness we’re able to make more desirable conscious choices.” by Kelli O’Neill

id you know that you may be unconsciously insulting people on a regular basis? We’re all guilty of microaggressions—verbal or nonverbal slights, snubs, or insults made towards others that are either conscious or unconscious and that communicate a hidden message. Such as going to a car repair shop and cringing when you find out that the mechanic is female, then wondering if you should insist on having a male mechanic. Or finding out a successful business executive who just landed a multi-million dollar contract is a female and expressing that she must have done something unseemly to get it. Typically, when we have these thoughts or verbalize what we are thinking, we don’t even notice the hidden message. It can be uncomfortable to learn that we participated in microaggressions. Feelings arise such as shame or sadness that we treated others in ways that we would not appreciate, much less tolerate. Women tend to be more emotional and this helps us to access, recognize, and deal with our feelings and emotions more easily. But we lean toward taking things personally and those emotions can make our experiences more painful. Most often, these unconscious biases come from social conditioning. With the emergence of the Divine Feminine energy, things are shifting. We’re starting to become more aware of these old, habitual ways of

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thinking and we’re seeing the Divine Feminine speaking up in many ways. One way is the #MeToo movement. Women are finding it necessary to speak up about what they have experienced, and bring the awareness that the old habitual ways of thinking and acting will no longer be accepted or allowed. With conscious awareness we’re able to make more desirable conscious choices. To become aware of your own microaggressions, think of an experience you’ve had where someone slighted or insulted you. How did that make you feel? Now, think of a time when you slighted or insulted someone. This exercise acts as a mirror so that you are able to gain more insight into your biases. Connect with how you feel. Most often you won’t like the feeling that comes up. Allow it, acknowledge it. Express gratitude for it showing up so that you are able to see the feeling for what it is. With this process you will be able to release it. Continue to be mindful of what you say, do, and think so that you can make more conscious choices. f Kelli O’Neill, LPC is a licensed professional counselor and owner of Inner Health and Healing, LLC. She incorporates energy techniques into her psychotherapy practice utilizing Reiki and Theta healing energies to overcome psychological difficulties that empower you more fully. She is passionate about assisting others with their spiritual exploration. https://www.facebook.com/ InnerHealthAndHealing/

INNER FEMININE AND MASCULINE

affect our conscious choices? physical action. But in the interpersonal arena, this limited mind-set can be a major hindrance to giving a sensitive and emotionally expressive approach to life the credibility it deserves. This is closely associated with the fact that we subconsciously deny the validity of any trait we reject within ourselves. If we give little credibility to the inner, more subjective aspects of another, all we are left with is over-attention to the surface, physical aspects of people and events. An example of this is the objectification of women. Having a narrow definition of who women are does a disservice to them AND to ourselves. We, as men, need to be confident enough to interact with all women as unique individuals. This naturally leads to honoring that each one brings their own important and powerful perspectives to the world. It is high time for us to release the insecurities that limit our understanding, and full acceptance, of the gender with whom we share this miraculous planet. f

hese days we don’t have to go very far to see how subconscious gender biases can affect the choices we, as men, make in life. We see it every day from the headlines about diversity issues in major corporations to men in the entertainment industry. Men often don’t give the characteristic dynamics of women the same amount of credibility that they give their own traits. From my perspective, many men have a relationship with their emotional side that is mostly based on a great deal of discomfort and avoidance. This leads to simplifying much of what happens in their personal life to physical actions and reactions, as well as greater faith in their cognitive/analytical side than their feelings. One way to look at ourselves is that we have an inner life and an outer life. Our inner life is the arena of emotions and introspection while our outer life is moment-to-moment conscious thoughts and actions. During the early developmental years, boys are shaped, by parental and peer interactions, to suppress most any emotional response. An example of this is the famous “Big boys don’t cry.” Also, a boy demonstrating openness to his caring side is often made fun of for being overly sensitive. Thus, many men live with the legacy of denial in relation to their inner selves. This is often not much of an issue in the work-a-day world that supports an analytical mind-set and direct

“We, as men, need to be confident enough to interact with all women as unique individuals. .”

by Robert Dallas

Robert Dallas holds a PhD in Counseling Psychology from Georgia State University. He has been a Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice for the past twenty-five years. He helps people with career and life focus, works with individuals on their anxiety and selfesteem issues, and works with couples in the realm of relationship issues. www.TheDallasCenter.com

May/June 2018

CONSCIOUS BUSINESS In the Spirit of Conscious Customer Service

C O N S C I O U S

P E R S P E C T I V E S

by Sharron Ragan

few years ago my husband and I went to dinner at a local popular steak and seafood restaurant. It was very crowded on a Saturday night and we felt lucky to get seated quickly. From the time we sat down everything went wrong. We had to ask multiple times for our server to take our order, the wrong salads were delivered and never corrected, and then our meal didn’t come for over forty-five minutes. Finally we were finished and we began the task of getting our check, which was over one hundred dollars. After making several requests for the check from various servers (our server never came back to our table), we then asked for a manager. The manager said he would have our server bring it over and once again no one brought our check. After almost half an hour, my husband, whose frustration was mounting, blurted out at me, “I feel like I’m in front of the wall of incompetence and I can’t get over it!” The people at the table next to us agreed, sharing they were having the same problem. I laughed and said, “Well maybe it’s really the wall of unconsciousness.” The server, the manager, and even the other servers were oblivious to making sure we were served to our satisfaction, nor did they seem to care. After several more attempts to get our check, which was never delivered, we, along with the table next to us, walked out the door. We even asked the hostess to get our check as we were leaving and she replied that was not her job. So, we left without paying. A few months later the restaurant closed. In the words of Mahatma Gandhi: A customer is the most important visitor on our premises, he is not dependent on us. We are dependent on him. He is not an interruption in our work. He is the purpose of it. He is not an outsider in our business. He is part of it. We are not doing him a favor by serving him. He is doing us a favor by giving us an opportunity to do so. Service, in short, is not what you do, but who you are. It is a conscious behavior that you must bring to everything you do. That is conscious customer service. Is there a difference between customer service and conscious customer service? Yes. Conscious customer service starts with an authentic desire to delight your customers and think beyond selling 22

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your products or services. The best customer service people and businesses begin with a conscious nature that evolves from a sense of purpose to the customer. Whether it’s a restaurant, a department store, a service professional, or a business owner, delivering your service with a sense of purpose to any customer is the first step to breaking the consciousness barrier. What would the “consciousness customer service zone” look or feel like? • Y ou’d be aware of their sense of urgency to take care of your needs and they would respond as quickly as possible with a smile, kindness, and eye contact. • Y ou’d feel like they know your needs or make the effort to understand your needs. • Y ou’d have confidence that the person or business would be willing to fix or correct any mistake that might occur— with pleasure. • Y ou would feel special from consistent and authentic overdelivery. • Y ou’d observe they are eager to serve you and gain you as a long-term customer. • T hey’d know word-of-mouth testimonials are invaluable and inspire you to give honest feedback, positive or negative. They wouldn’t be afraid of negative feedback and would see it as a way to improve their service. • Y ou’d notice everyone who is serving you exhibits a sense of personal purpose. Conscious customer service comes down to a simple formula: Caring about serving customers with a purpose and making sure they are happy and satisfied with the products and services you’re selling. f Sharron Ragan is a brand creativity consultant and intuitive change agent. She’s a former corporate brand/marketing strategist having worked with many Fortune 500 companies including Coca-Cola and Wendy’s. As CEO of Visionary Business Worldwide, she applies her creative and intuitive spirit to inspire professionals to seek a purposedriven life and career. www.SharronRagan.com

CONSCIOUS RELATIONSHIPS When It’s Time to Be Alone for Love by Bob Lancer

conscious relationship means that we are conscious of our way of integrating with another person. Notice how the inference of “integrity” hides within “integration.” A conscious relationship is a relationship based on integrity. Where there is a lack of integrity in a relationship, there is a lack of consciousness. No one can lie consciously. You might be aware that you are lying. But you are not fully aware of how your lying integrates into your life, into the universe, into the heart. When you are conscious you feel the pain of disintegration of the heart. How critical is solitudinous time for conscious integration between us! This sacred time has nothing to do with how physically near or far another might be. When you look within to examine your own heart you are clearly alone, facing yourself, in a conscious relationship with yourself. You cannot be in integrity with another without being in integrity with yourself. You know when you are being deceptive, manipulative, unkind, spiteful, and negative toward another. When Jesus said, “Forgive them Lord, for they know not what they do,” he was talking about a deeper kind of knowing, the knowing of the unmasked heart. No one can be hurtful, negatively judgmental, or even callous toward another without turning away from the truth and casting a blind eye to the deeper self.

When you feel hurt or annoyed, it has nothing to do with what another person is up to. Your reaction hurts you, and it is unconscious, because you would never consciously hurt yourself. You don’t want to feel hurt, so you can only hurt yourself unconsciously. Feeling hurt and annoyed with another means you need solitude, because you have slipped into a state of unconsciousness. In solitude you can look into yourself and see more clearly, clearly enough, in time, to recognize what is happening in your relationship between you and you deep down inside. You don’t necessarily have to leave the room to be alone enough to awaken to your way of hurting yourself. You merely need to look within and examine what you are up to within and instead of focusing on what the other person has done to which you have responded by closing your heart and hurting yourself. You are worthy of love, but when you deny yourself love it is because you feel unworthy of love, and thus you reject the heart of another. You have stepped out of relationship integrity, then, and it’s time to be alone. f Bob Lancer is an author, inspirational speaker, seminar leader, and coach on a process he calls “The Method.” The Method is used for emotional healing and releases internal blocks to allow for a more joyful life of authentic success and abundance. He wrote Parenting With Love, Without Anger Or Stress and Lighten Up: Harness The Power Of Happiness. LoveTheMethod.com May/June 2018

TECHNOLOGY/SCIENCE Using Your Hear t to Quiet Your Mind

C O N S C I O U S

P E R S P E C T I V E S

by Deborah Rozman, PhD, President of Hear tMath Inc.

any spiritual cultures agree that inner stillness creates an energetic environment for advanced consciousness, which can unleash the transformational power of love. From the beginning of HeartMath, many of our tools, and especially our emWave and Inner Balance heart-rhythm technologies, were designed to monitor and facilitate easier access to inner quiet and its connection to our natural heart’s wisdom. We have an innate respect for the value of stillness, so why not use it the way it can count the most—to quiet our mental and emotional static so that we can hear the council from our larger self, nudging us toward personal peace and happiness. The emWave and Inner Balance technologies measure and display your heart rhythm pattern to show you when your heart, brain, and nervous system have synchronized in physiological coherence, a calm place of inner quiet. The technology guides you into this state of physiological coherence using the Quick Coherence Technique. This two-step process starts with heart-focused breathing to balance your nervous system and activate the power of your heart. The next step warms your heart by generating a calm or regenerative feeling, such as appreciation, or kindness, which shifts the heart rhythm into a sinewave. This coherent pattern is communicated from the heart to the brain through the vagal nerve: entraining brainwaves, blood pressure waves, and other body rhythms into the heart’s coherent rhythm. This slows the vibratory rate of your mind and emotions.

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The graph shows an individual’s breathing rhythm, pulse transit time (blood pressure rhythm), and heart rate variability (heart rhythm) over eight minutes. At the 300-second mark, the individual uses a HeartMath Technique and all three bodily rhythms come into synchronization. You can also watch your heart rhythm pattern change in real time, as you use the Quick Coherence technique with the technology. The heart is the strongest oscillating rhythm generator in our body. When we are worried, anxious, frustrated, or stressed, our heart rhythm becomes disordered, which creates an incoherent pattern that is communicated to the brain. Getting into coherence with the emWave or Inner Balance feedback allows heart, mind, and emotions to experience a time-out. When we discern our direction from this place of inner quiet, it helps to prevent the impatience of the mind from overriding the intuitive whispers of our higher choices. Many people report that adding HeartMath technology to their mindfulness practices ensures that they are able to shift quickly into a positive (or “coherent”) emotional state, benefiting body, mind, and soul. f Deborah Rozman is a psychologist, business executive, educator, and author. Having penned numerous books, and co-authored with Doc Childre the Transforming book series, published by New Harbinger, most recently she coauthored Heart Intelligence: Connecting with the Intuitive Guidance of the Heart. Deborah Rozman, PhD. President, and Co-CEO of HeartMath Inc. drozman@ heartmath.com Note: This article includes excerpts from the book Heart Intelligence: Connecting with the Intuitive Guidance of the Heart by Doc Childre, Howard Martin, Deborah

Rozman and Rollin McCraty (Waterfront Press 2016).

WORLD VIEW

Conscious Confusion: Navigating the Political Landscape by Phil Parker

e live in a country that gives each of us the freedom of choice. How we exercise this freedom in choosing our elective officials is the basis for this article. As adults, almost everything we do is based on both the conscious and subconscious values we created throughout our lives and learned to trust. Our core values are held in our subconscious mind. They become the platform we access to determine how we judge the world around us and how we act in any given situation. What we value is also how we choose our elected officials. Of course, there are times when we randomly listen to and often act on the opinions of others. When it comes to our current political landscape, we are living in a world of political chaos. Too many of our elected officials have lost their way. A consciousness of confusion has been created. It’s no wonder it’s challenging to hold onto one’s values in light of so much uncertainty. All of us are influenced by TV, social media, the press, and other stimuli which, although we may not understand, make it difficult to know who and what to believe. More likely than not, we are inclined to act on what we see, hear, or read. The new norm, aka “fake news,” is now impacting our everyday lives. Our decisions are further influenced by the internet, special interest groups, family, and friends. After constantly being inundated, sifting through, and listening to all of the above, how then do we hold true to our values and act judiciously in electing our public officials? Our voting habits are generally based on our own experiences, our emotions, and our familiarity with the candidates. If you’re pro-life you’re likely to vote for the candidate that represents that value. Likewise, if you’re prochoice the opposite would be true. Our values are imbedded in our subconscious and surface when called upon. Because we live with the freedom of individual choice, we get to vote for those candidates based on our personal beliefs and experiences. It’s an ongoing struggle and tug of war between what is our truth and influences that are continuously bombarding us. We all want to make choices based solely on what we believe to be true. Emotions and logic create uncertainty because our emotions don’t always align with our truth.

Whether consciously or unconsciously, it appears we have politically lost our way. We must ask ourselves if our elected officials are for “we the people” or “we the government.” So many of our elected officials stand firm on their needs with less regard for the needs of the masses. There is little or no compromise between parties or any across-theaisle cooperation. Today’s political landscape makes it virtually impossible to discern the truth or persuade our elected officials to listen to and vote for what we the electorate want. Bottom line: The responsibility of today’s political climate falls on us. It is fair to blame our elected officials for their own biases and incompetence since voters put them into office. If one’s values are not congruent with those of our elected officials, it is our civic responsibility to insure they are not re-elected. Voting is both a responsibility and a privilege. We’d like to believe that our elected officials act and legislate for the good of the voters who put them in office. Rather, it appears they are motivated by their own selfish interests, lobbyists, or political ambitions. It takes an unwavering commitment to hold true to your values. It takes responsibility to overcome indifference. The next time you vote for the candidate of your choosing, it’s critical that your core values and beliefs remain in alignment with who you are. Ask yourself how strongly that individual shares your values and re-enforces your belief system. Political habit or bias is no excuse for being irresponsible. Every vote you cast is a reflection of the values you refuse to compromise. As long as you allow outside influences to control your voting decisions you will be subject to confusion and uncertainty. Only when you are steadfast in your decision making and hold true to your core values, will you have peace of mind of knowing you fulfilled your civic and political responsibility. f Phil Parker, a former CEO and 35-year veteran of Corporate America has been hired, fired, acquired, merged, purged, downsized, and rightsized but NEVER capsized. As a speaker, author, and world-class photographer, he entertains, enlightens, educates, and empowers his audiences to uncover their potential and discover the life they deserve. www.philparker.com May/June 2018

LIFESTYLE

YOG A & P S YCH E

Unifying Yoga and Psychology Lifestyle for Healing, Transformation, and Joy by Mariana Caplan, PhD, MFT

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The developments within psychology of neuroscience, trauma healing, and somatics are becoming of increasing interest to yoga teachers and practitioners and are just beginning to be taught in yoga studios.

as yoga improved your health and expanded your awareness and lifestyle, but emotional and relationship issues continue to challenge you? Have you found psychotherapy helpful, yet yearn for further spiritual discovery? For myself and countless others, yoga saved only half my life; psychology saved the other. Many are familiar with the experience of being in a yoga class and feeling relaxed, balanced, and maybe even wise, only to walk out into the activity of human relationships, work, family, and responsibilities, and within minutes, completely lose touch with the good feelings they had just moments before. Similarly, many know the feeling of doing deep therapy and psychological work, only to discover that the powerful insights and self-knowledge that they uncover remains very difficult to integrate into their bodies, relationships, and all the gritty challenges that daily life brings with it. Whereas many of the Western worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Buddhist traditions have recognized the importance of psychologyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s teachings and practices for several decades, the yoga tradition is only beginning to understand and promote the benefits of Western

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When we integrate yoga with the developments in Western psychology, we harness new possibilities for personal and collective healing. psychology as complementary to yoga practice. The developments within psychology of neuroscience, trauma healing, and somatics are becoming of increasing interest to yoga teachers and practitioners and are just beginning to be taught in yoga studios. When we blend the yoga and psychological traditions—yoga being 2,500-5,000 years old and the other just over 130 years old—we awaken new possibilities for integrated transformation within our bodies, psyches, and spirits. Together, they form a seamless weave of insights and practices applicable in the yoga studio, therapy room, or amid the rush of daily life. As yoga gains widespread acceptance in the Western world—with practitioners in the United States alone registering upwards of 20.4 million—it’s becoming a major focus of scientific studies as well as the subject of groundbreaking research at academic institutions across the globe. In a survey of 200 scientific and academic studies done on the integration of yoga and psychology and their related fields, yoga was shown to have a positive effect on post-traumatic stress disorders (PTSD), depression, anxiety, immunity issues, eating disorders, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), schizophrenia, wellbeing, and mood. Science, too, has begun to extensively demonstrate yoga’s capacity to heal the body and the mind. This body of evidence-based, scientific documentation of yoga’s effectiveness can promote the widespread acceptance of yoga, in tandem with psychology, into areas of healthcare, public policy, education,

mental health, insurance, and many other social sectors where this lifestyle integration has begun, and will continue to bring profound healing and benefits. The good news is that everything we need to access a map for a full range of healing and thriving, from the darkest and most unconscious places within us, to our greatest potentials, is at our fingertips. When we integrate yoga with the developments in Western psychology, we harness new possibilities for personal and collective healing. As we witness the increasing impact of environmental, political, and social issues throughout the world, we will need to draw on a deep well of inner resources to meet and address the challenges that we face. As human beings living in times of both great suffering and great possibility, it is exciting to live in a globalized society, even with its demanding nature. Challenging times call for creative solutions, and the integration of yoga and psychology together support more harmony and balance within ourselves and others, as well as prepare us to respond effectively and with love to the world around us. f

Eating for More Energy

RAW FOOD by Brenda Cobb

s the weather warms and the days lengthen, long workdays coupled with unhealthy eating patterns can leave you needing more energy. You might look for quick fixes like coffee or soda for an instant afternoon caffeine or sugar boost. The immediate jolt might feel good, but soon you’re struggling with more fatigue. You can change all that with some useful tips to help you feel more energetic and recharged. Proper hydration is a key to creating a healthy body. Even mild dehydration can slow metabolism and reduce energy. Drink at least one half of your body weight in ounces of water each day. Alkaline water helps rid the body of acidity, which is a contributor to poor health. Eat healthy nuts. Just one ounce of almonds is packed with six grams of protein and contains magnesium, calcium, phosphorus, and potassium—all very important minerals to the body. And the good fats in almonds help you burn excess unhealthy fat. Avoid macadamia nuts and pecans which have much more fat and less protein than almonds. Bananas contain essential vitamins that provide natural energy, and are an easy snack to carry with you. One medium banana has 105 calories and is loaded with electrolyte potassium. This helps conduct electrical impulses throughout the body, and assists with normalizing blood pressure, water balance, muscle contractions, nerve impulses, digestion, and heart rhythm. Lentils are nutritional gems. They have impressive amounts of B vitamins, iron, and zinc, and plenty of fiber, which keeps you feeling full. Lentils are an excellent source of protein and a good replacement for meat. Dark leafy greens like spinach and kale are not only high in vitamins A and C, they are loaded with B vitamins, the “energy vitamins.” Include lots of these in your daily diet and you’ll encourage brain development and keep the immune system and nervous system working properly. Carbohydrates are the body’s main source of fuel as they provide the necessary energy to literally keep us up and running. However, not all carbs are created equal. Avoid sugar-sweetened beverages, fruit juices, pastries, white bread, white pasta, and white rice. One of the best carbohydrate sources is quinoa. It is high in protein and powerful antioxidants which help slow aging. Other good choices are vegetables, whole fruits, legumes, and whole grains. Beyond eating the right foods, it is important to remember to exercise. We all know exercise burns calories, but it also helps us sleep better, boosts our mood, and speeds up our metabolism. When you exercise your heart is pumping and your body releases endorphins that increase energy levels. Eat right, feel the exercise burn, and up the ante on your energy levels! f

Energy Blast Off

Mariana Caplan, PHD, MFT, E-RTY 500, is a psychotherapist, yoga teacher, and author of eight books, including her latest, YOGA & PSYCHE. She’s been teaching throughout the world since 1997. She is the founder of Yoga & Psyche International, an organization created to integrate the fields of yoga and psychology globally. yogaandpsyche.com

2 cups spinach ¼ cup almonds 1 banana Pinch of cinnamon 1 cup alkaline water

Blend all the ingredients in a high-speed blender until smooth. Enjoy your quick and easy super-charged energy drink. Brenda Cobb, founder of Living Foods Institute, author of The Living Foods Lifestyle®, and featured on documentaries “Healing Cancer Inside Out” and “Eating,” has an Honorary Cultural Doctorate in Therapeutic Philosophy and the Phoenix Award honoring her work. She personally healed breast and cervical cancer without surgery, chemo, or radiation. http://livingfoodsinstitute.com May/June 2018 29

CONSCIOUS 360° Hope Merrill | Founder, Conscious 360°

CONSCIOUS 360°

The Conscious 360° model is used as our

foundation to organize the wisdom and guidance in the Conscious Life Journal. Following the 5 stages of healing— Mind, Body, Spirit, Integration, and Balance—our goal is to provide you with rich information about your journey to a higher state of consciousness.

What does Conscious 360° really mean? Simply put, it is a way to understand your healing and a process that helps you know where you are on your path to a higher consciousness.

STAGE 1 | MIND—Discover Who You Are STAGE 2 | BODY—Accept Who You Are STAGE 3 | SPIRIT—Connect to Who You Are STAGE 4 INTEGRATION—Practice Who You Are

CONSCIOUS 360 QUESTIONS

STAGE 5 | BALANCE—Actively BE Who You Are

Q: A:

Dear Hope: I feel a little lost. I’ve let go of so much and changed so much that my old life doesn’t work for me anymore, but I’m not quite sure how to create a new life!

Dear Sherry:

I understand! When you are at the beginning of the Integration stage, you can sometimes feel empty. But remember, this stage is all about CHOICE. So, start with small new choices. Maybe there is something that you have always wanted to do, but you didn’t have the confidence or the willingness. Go do it! Take that painting class. Write that book. Learn to dance. And if you don’t like it, make a different choice!

Since we heal in spirals, you can't really apply a time line to Conscious 360. You will move through each stage in order, several times, both in your life and within each situation in your life. What is important, and why Conscious 360° works, is it aids us in knowing the stage we are in, what we need to do in that stage, and how to move to the next stage. A touchstone or, if you will, a guide map for when we get in the “soup” of personal transformation and are overwhelmed or stuck. With Conscious 360° you just find the stage you are in, do the work inside that stage, and you WILL move to the next stage and ultimately to peace and balance. As you use Conscious 360° you will find your transformational healing easier to understand, quicker to move through, and feel more supported in your growth. This section of the Journal explores each stage, with articles and guidance that are helpful inside each stage. Learn from these articles, apply them to your daily life, study the stages of Conscious 360°, and TRANSFORM!

STAGE 4 | INTEGRATION

Practice Who You Are

In this stage we learn that we can choose how we want to "be" in any situation or circumstance. We can choose our perspective, feelings, attitude and reactions. Our goal in this stage is to practice, practice, practice!

Need help using Conscious 360°? Contact Hope for a private session. Or submit your question for a future issue of the Journal. hope@myconsciouslifejournal.com

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STAGE 1

MIND

KNOW THYSELF

Consciously Learning the Energy of YOU

by Michelle Gregg

icture this. You’re being born . . . meeting light and life. And because all things are energy—waves and vibrations connecting and disconnecting and always in flux—there is a specific and unique symphony in that precise moment. Your moment. Instinctively you gasp in your first breath and are forever imprinted with the spirit of that time and place. You are a manifestation of the energetic pattern you inhaled in that quickening breath. You have become. And you will resonate to and through that energetic pattern for the rest of your life. Psychological Astrology maps the energy of your psyche based on that miraculous moment of birth. Your astrological birth map, based on the date, time, and place of birth opens a dynamic and transformative world of Self-knowing, Self-acceptance, and Self-mastery. Why are you the way you are? What are your gifts? What are your challenges? Through the symbols of planets, signs, houses, and aspects—the language of astrology—you become conscious of yourself in a multi-layered and profoundly rich way. Each Planet represents a distinctive piece of your psyche— the urge to love and be loved via Venus, the urge to take action on your will via Mars, the urge to learn and communicate via Mercury, the urge to feel and express emotions via the Moon, the urge to BECOME via the Sun. Signs of the Zodiac qualify those urges and are the lens through which they manifest. We all feel emotions, yet the Moon in Aries is direct, willful, and spontaneous, while the Moon in Taurus is practical and resists emotional change and

turbulence. We all communicate, but Mercury in Sagittarius openly expresses, while Mercury in Scorpio shares only with those who are trusted. Houses of your birth map show an area of focus in your life: the perceived Self, the life-partner, home, family, career, and finances are examples. Aspects show relationships between planets. We clearly see, for example, how your emotions (Moon) get along and communicate with your ego (Sun) or whether your relationships (Venus) are more romanticized (Neptune) or more based in reality (Saturn). These are simplistic examples, but learning these distinctions is both helpful and validating. When you understand your personality, your motivations, and your potentials, you are much more likely to create a life story that promises success, confidence, contentment, and even happiness. Astrology then, is the language of the Personal Mind—the microcosm—reflected via the Cosmic Mind—the macrocosm. The more you understand about yourself, the more you understand the nature of the Universe, and that in being your best Self you are a positive co-creator of Life. f Michelle Gregg is a professional Counseling Astrologer, writer, and personal catalyst. She has twenty-five years’ experience working with clients from an astrological and Jungian model, helping them catalyze their lives into more joyous, more spiritually connected vibrancy. She currently has a thriving private practice, blogs, and teaches astrology at The Metropolitan Atlanta Astrological Society. www.michellegregg.com May/June 2018

CONSCIOUS 360°

STAGE 2

BODY

hen experiencing This gentle manual therapy allows the practiced hand of the stress, our system therapist to locate the exact area has two options: of restriction and to offer the body express that stress fully in the clear communication in that area in moment (through movement, order to ignite physiological changes. sound, or vibration of some kind) or by Susan Powell Because the organs hold echoes of our be totally or partially stored in our body. emotions, they’re often the missing link The frontal region of our brain intakes the for people with persistent pain patterns as stress initially and, if it cannot disperse the well as being a link between the pain and mood energy in that moment, it delegates to the organs the job dysfunctions that so many people experience: feelings of storage. We understand this storage system intuitively. of anxiety paired with extreme food sensitivities, or fits of We experience loss as a punch in the gut, we can’t believe temper that associate with a right shoulder pain, or depression that seems to take hold during bouts with bronchitis. These the gall of some people, a tragedy makes us feel like we interwoven connections run very deep and wide. can’t breathe, our heart aches when we lose love. When people with depression or anxiety seek psychotherapy, This (mostly) adaptive system functions very efficiently. they may find that talk therapy alone cannot fully relieve them It is our organs’ job to metabolize our body’s energy. The of their very bodily symptoms. Symptoms actually rooted in the heart metabolizes the blood flow in our body, making sure body, rather than simply being the jurisdiction of the brain, must that it intakes oxygen when depleted and that it is distributed be treated in the body for full results. Clients using Visceral throughout the entire body. Our lungs metabolize the air we Manipulation often experience feeling lighter, more balanced, breathe to extract oxygen and other elements and to exchange and deeply relaxed after the work, as well as reporting carbon dioxide for exhalation. The liver and other digestive decreases in their pain and dysfunction. Learn more about organs metabolize the food we eat to absorb its nutrients to Visceral Manipulation at the www.barralinstitute.com. f fuel our cells. Each organ also metabolizes our emotional energies. The heart handles certain stresses, the pancreas Susan Powell values Science and Faith in equal measure. Her "both/ and kidneys handle other kinds. and" way of approaching bodywork is incredibly fulfilling and effective. Visceral Manipulation, a type of bodywork taught by Susan graduated from massage school in 2000 and has been studying the French osteopath Jean-Pierre Barral, is intended to Visceral Manipulation since 2008. She lives in Atlanta with her wife and “wake up a little something” inside our brain and body. daughter. You can visit her at www.ConnectedBodyTherapy.com

THE MISSING LINK The Organs!

STAGE 3

SPIRIT

WAITING WITH AN OPEN HEART by Diane Glynn

“

“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Psalm 22

n the darkest hour of your life, the absence of God seems overwhelming. Raging, fearful, and hurt to the core, you shut down. This body, this mind, this heart can bear nothing more and no one can reach you as you fall deeper into despair. Falling until the darkness seems to fill your Soul. Is this Spirit’s way of saying, “Love Me, or else?” Does God/

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Spirit/Love even exist or has it all been a fairy tale? Does Spirit really desert you in your most desperate moments? In your humanness, you feel physical and emotional pain. It’s a part of this earthly plane in which you live and it’s very real. You experience it through all of your senses and it wreaks havoc with your mind. When set against the noise and pain of fear and anger, you can better understand why it is often difficult to allow in the light. The heaviness of the pain obliterates what is quietly ready to shine forth. In times of distress, you will lament your situation. You beg to understand, “Why me? What did I do to deserve this?” These are questions that Spirit has no answer for because Spirit

doesn’t know how to lament. It doesn’t understand fear or anger. Those are feelings of the human mind. As hard as it is in the midst of this utter anguish, there’s work to be done. There is an internal journey that will change the outer reality—waiting, patiently and peacefully, to guide you out of the darkness. Spirit is ready to open your heart. Ready for you to ask the right questions. “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7. Spirit knows only Love. Speak the language that Love understands. What is mine to do? I’m afraid. Please take my hand. I don’t know how to do this. Please show me the way.

Whatever you ask, it is given to you. If you ask what you did to deserve this, your mind will stay right there in the darkness, throwing answers at you so that you can continue your journey of pain. If you ask, instead, what is mine to do, your heart will begin to do the work of Spirit and your Soul will be guided to hope and opportunity and love. Don’t give up. You haven’t been forsaken. Spirit is right here, right now, waiting with an open heart. f Diane Glynn is the Executive Director for Unity North Atlanta where she is also a Prayer Chaplain. She says the first is what she does, the latter is who she is. In her free time, Diane is also a writer. Follow her on FB at This Moment and at yesthismoment.com

STAGE 4 INTEGRATION

CREATING CONSCIOUS CHANGE Practicing an Integrated Life by Gareth Young

onscious living has been important to me for many years: it’s led me to join marches and demonstrations; to sign seemingly endless petitions for causes such as preserving habitat for the Monarch butterfly, outlawing neonicotinoids, and reducing greenhouse gases; and to publish socially-minded blog posts and podcasts. Through all of this I’ve continued my daily meditation practice and a new perspective has emerged: all my

“conscious activity” might feel important, but unless I am willing to conform my own life to my beliefs, my protests are shallow and incomplete. I’ve concluded that while making a noise might be good, it is not enough: I must “be the change I want to see.” So rather than signing petitions, I must create habitat for bees and butterflies in my garden, I must reduce my own carbon emissions, and I must change my water usage patterns. If I’m not prepared to reflect my May/June 2018

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beliefs in my lifestyle, what right have I to tell others how to behave? Working with Creative Solar, we installed a 12kWh PV solar system on our roof and a 16kWh battery in the house; and Ecovie installed a 2,250 gallon rain harvesting system in our back yard for domestic (drinking) water supplemented by a 2,250 gallon gray water system (gently used water from bathroom sinks, showers, tubs, and washing machines). We have also planted fruit trees and a simple “STUN” (survives total and utter neglect) vegetable and fruit garden irrigated by our gray water. This required a significant upfront investment, but we did the math and concluded it will pay back in 10-15 years . . . and we will have free water and power for 20+ years thereafter! The greatest benefits, though, are beyond economics and the security this offers against natural disasters. The true joy and wonder is finding ourselves moving into a consciously integrated life, which is far deeper than the “conscious living” of before. Knowing our domestic water supply is in a tank in the back yard, we pay attention to our usage and to rain patterns. We carefully watch our battery level and PV electricity production to optimize our power usage. And since the fruit and vegetables from the garden are both delicious and the reward of our own labor, we pay close attention to weather and seasons. Without realizing we were doing so, our investments have provided the infrastructure for living a consciously integrated life. I still care deeply about the issues of environment and our future, but for the first time in my life I am actively living into the future I want for my kids and feeling whole and wholesome. My day-to-day life is imbued with natural mindfulness and awareness of an integrated living space. From this stable ground I move into the issues of the world with greater peace and balance. It is a joyful and aware way of living, and it feels great. f Gareth J. Young, formerly an ordained Zen Buddhist priest, is a co-founder and leader of Red Clay Sangha, a secular Atlanta Buddhist community. He is also an author, podcast host, speaker, and businessman, and is active in interfaith and social justice. www.garethjyoung.com

Healing With

REACT

Fear-Based Duality/Polarity Perception Unaware/Emotionally Defensive Incongruence Stress in Body (Tense) Circumstances Manage Us Lower Self/Lower Chakras

RESPOND

STAGE 5

BALANCE

Love-Based Being Present/Observant/Open Thoughtful Truth Peace in Body (Calm) Manage the Circumstances Higher Self/HIgher Chakras

REACTING VS. CHOOSING

How to Infuse Balance into Everyday Life by Mary D. Simpson

“Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony." – Thomas Merton

alance is the normal state of a peaceful, equally weighted physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual human experience. It is not something to be sought after externally, but is a state of being that already exists and is completely accessible and alive within us. It does not push or pull or desire to be anything other than what it is. We do not, however, recognize, remember, utilize, or allow ourselves to live fully from this state, because insidious contrary conditioning from long ago convinces us otherwise. All things in nature have a natural point of balance (homeostasis) and a desire to reside from this organic place of origin. If something happens to tilt the scales slightly, or even greatly (think pendulum theory here), something else will happen naturally to counterbalance and the pendulum eventually settles back to center. It is Universal Law. Most people React to life stimulus from an unaware/unconscious/ subconscious place rather than Choose or Respond from a conscious one. Subconscious programming is a powerful driver that manages 97-98 percent of our life experience, is seven seconds faster than our conscious Awareness, and runs from the reptilian brain (the powerful notification center that makes sure all functions of the body are working to keep us alive.) What steps can we take to shift from Reaction to Response?

1. P AUSE, become PRESENT, NOTICE how you feel in your body, take a deep centering BREATH 2. Observe and Assess the situation 3. F ormulate an intelligent and compassionate response 4. C heck in with yourself again and ask, “Does the response I’m about to give, bring me peace?” 5. Respond Healing is a way home to Balance. Healing is becoming AWARE of the aforementioned process, allowing us to consciously choose to acknowledge our unknown and unattended emotions that innately desire to be accurately seen, honored, accepted, and released, thus enabling us to create space for new and fresh perspectives and experiences over old patterns. Physical Incarnation is an experience in duality. Duality exists to mirror for us that which wants Balance. When we perceive Good we have created Bad, Regret/Choice, Chaos/Harmony, and so on. As we heal unaware emotions and integrate with our own personal truth, our lives become softer, more balanced, synchronistic, and in the flow. Inner peace, or balance, is obtained when we know, accept, and love ourselves so unconditionally that nothing will knock us off our own personal center of Balance. f

Mary Simpson has extensive business and entrepreneurial expertise, including owning an international software company, years of B2B national advertising experience, and consulting with organizations and individuals on “vision,” as well as working with adults with disabilities. She is now pursuing her passion for the healing arts and writing poetry. www.beinggoodkarma.com

Essential Oils by Angila Reid

Cypress Oil

Cypress (Cupressus sempervirens) is derived from the branches of the tall evergreen tree.The leaves are steam distilled to create a clean, fresh, woody aroma that promotes vitality and energy. CYPRESS contains monoterpenes, making it beneficial for oily skin conditions (add 1-2 drops in face toner). This clean smelling oil has positive effects on the cardiovascular system as it stimulates circulation by increasing blood flow. Because Cypress oil is a diuretic, it helps the body remove excess water and salt that can lead to fluid retention. Use cypress oil topically to treat varicose veins, cellulite, and other conditions caused by poor circulation, such as hemorrhoids. Emotionally, Cypress creates movement of the spirit and removes stagnation, welcoming the abundance of divine grace into your heart. Cypress can be used aromatically (diffused) and topically. It blends very well with citrus oils. Cypress and grapefruit oil mixed (with a carrier oil) create an invigorating massage experience. All essential oils are not created equal. For an oil to be labeled “Therapeutic,” the company is required to have only 20 percent essential oil in the bottle. DōTERRA is Certified Pure Therapeutic Grade and is third-party tested to ensure the consistency of top-grade oils. This is why these oils are requested by many physicians and used in over 150 hospitals nationwide. Vanderbilt University Hospital continues to use dōTERRA essential oils in their facility and research (www.doterravanderbiltstudy.com).

Andi Sells Photography

Angila Reid is a Wellness Advocate and Educator with dōTERRA International, a Certified Reflexologist, and received her CNHP from Trinity School of Natural Health. Angi lives in Lawrenceville, GA with her husband of over twenty-five years, and her fur babies Mork and Mindy. Angi’s passion is helping others while educating them on alternative natural remedies. www.doterra.com/ARganics angireid@comcast.net 770-356-4443 May/June 2018

L E B TA B with Burge Smith-Lyons

YOU Have a

CHOICE

by Burge Smith-Lyons

“But I did not have a choice!” Have you ever said or thought

that? Have you felt like you cannot change things and you had no choice? Or have you made a choice and regretted it and beat your self up? Felt guilty for your choices? If someone wrongs you, you could blame them for the act and say, “they did that to me.” Or you could shame yourself and say, “It’s my fault.” Or you could justify your position and say, “they always do that kind of thing and I am right to retaliate.” These reactions are what I call below the line behavior and give your power away. You cannot make a change from any of those points of view because you are vibrating as a victim. If you blame someone for something, you give your power away and energetically say, “I am powerless to do anything about it because it is not my fault.” If you shame yourself for something, you are giving your power away by energetically saying, “I am to blame and I feel guilty.” Remember, guilt demands punishment and you will continue to self-sabotage or attract someone to punish you energetically. If you justify your position or make excuses, you are still blaming and giving your power away to the circumstance and still vibrating as a victim. Below the line behavior wastes time because nothing changes. We resort to BMW! Bitch, Moan, and Whine! All the while nothing changes and yet you are the common denominator. The only way to make a change and have freedom of the endless cycle of blame, guilt, and shame is to take responsibility and ask yourself, “How did I co-create this situation?” “How can I change it next time?” This is above the line behavior and is energetically the only way to shift out of creating the same events over and over. If you take responsibility for your actions, thoughts, and beliefs, you can make a change. You are not responsible for other people’s actions, thoughts, or beliefs. Only yours. Responsibility can mean FREEDOM to create a better life and not be stuck in the same pattern. Once you change your beliefs, your outside world will be different and you will create a new pattern. Instead of reacting and saying things you do not mean, blaming others, shaming yourself, or justifying your limitations, you can respond in a way that gives you the freedom to change. You always have a choice. f Burge Smith-Lyons is an international best-selling author, motivational speaker, intuitive healer, certified rebirther, hypnotherapist, channeler, minister, and founder and CEO of The Essence of Being, Inc. For thirty-six years she has helped thousands of graduates globally with emotional and spiritual healing, better communication techniques, relationships, prosperity consciousness, and enlightened leadership. www.Burgesmithlyons.com www.essenceofbeing.com 36

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May/June 2018

BOOK

REVIEW

The Net and The Butterfly:

The Art and Practice of Breakthrough Thinking

by Olivia Fox Cabane & Judah Pollack

As Reviewed by

Nanette Littlestone

ou don’t have to be a scientist or researcher to have a breakthrough. Usually associated with work, breakthroughs also occur in art, writing, relationships, even your connection with Spirit. We’ve all experienced them. But if it’s been awhile, this book will get you back on track. The Net and The Butterfly is filled with anecdotes about people who have achieved major breakthroughs in thinking—László Biró and the ballpoint pen, Archimedes and volume, Chuck Yeager and the sound barrier, William Watts and round bullets. There are four types of breakthroughs: eureka, metaphorical, intuitive, and paradigm. Eureka breakthroughs happen fast. Metaphorical breakthroughs appear as metaphors or analogies and require interpretation. Intuitive breakthroughs come with a “knowing” or “gut feeling.” Paradigm breakthroughs affect all of humanity and change how we see the world. Breakthroughs come when your mind is challenged with something new, you’ve stopped wrestling with the problem and are taking a break, or you’re experiencing (physically, mentally, emotionally) something you’ve never seen, heard, felt, or tasted before. The Net and The Butterfly helps us capture (net) those elusive ideas (butterflies) to break through our conditioned thinking and recreate the process again and again. Once you know the type of breakthrough(s) you resonate with, you’re on the path to having more.

To get into the breakthrough habit, the authors give some illuminating exercises: • Try the Seven Essential Innovation Questions (p. 58) and gain new perspective. • Use Pattern Recognition (p. 62) to create something new out of something old. James Cameron did this with Avatar. • Put on a different hat with the Six Thinking Hats (p. 86) and fire up your team. • Or build a constraint box (p. 97) and turn your negatives to positives. If you’re worried about fear of failure (not having a breakthrough or coping with the consequences of one), it’s unavoidable. Fear shows up as the impostor syndrome, inner critic, perfectionism, and maximizing. You can’t avoid fear but you can learn to work through it with the exercises in Chapter 7. And the SuperTools in Chapter 10—higher purpose, altruism, and meditation—will almost guarantee a breakthrough. We all look at health, work, relationships, etc. through our filters of friends, family, education, community. When we’re stuck it often seems there’s no way out. Let The Net and The Butterfly be your guide to new perspectives. You can find a way. Get ready for a breakthrough! f Best-selling author, editor, writing coach, and publisher, Nanette Littlestone’s mission is to help authors write from the heart and inspire others. She has worked with notable spiritual leaders, including David Ault and Jane Beach, and is the author of F.A.I.T.H. – Finding Answers in the Heart and The Sacred Flame. www.wordsofpassion.com

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