Brides

brides

6A — THE DAILY HOME, Talladega and St. Clair counties, Ala., Sunday, June 23, 2013

Brides ... and Grooms It all begins with choosing the director Becoming a bride is probably one of the most exciting events in the life of most young women.

From the time she is a little girl until the wedding is a reality, she has dreamed of this day.

One thing brides-tobe learn early about the upcoming occasion is it takes a lot of planning and a lot of decisions on her part as well as the groom’s.

One of the bride’s decisions will be to choose a wedding director, and in towns the size of ours, brides usually turn to the church where the ceremony will be held for help with this.

Most churches have someone who performs this service for members, as well as some non-members. At Pell City First United Methodist Church, Kaye Cloud is that person.

Kaye is quick to tell you she doesn’t have any formal training in directing weddings, but in the time she has filled the position, she’s learned all of the “ins and outs” of putting together a perfect day for the bride.

One of the first things Kaye does after being contacted by the bride is set up a meeting with her.

“It’s always good if the mother of the bride can be there also, “Kaye said, adding this is up to the bride.

“One of the first things we do is to be sure the wedding is put on the church calendar,” she said, adding that some churches require a deposit at this time.

“I want to first familiarize them with the church area. I tell them about church guidelines for florists, photographers, and videos — what can be done and what can’t be done.”

Kaye says most ministers do not like to have photographs taken during the actual ceremony. “It’s a very special, reverent time and most ministers feel that flashes are distracting.” Music must also be approved by the church music director.

“The person in charge of sound at the church has to be contacted and told if music is going to be live or if recorded music will be used.” A rehearsal time is set up at that meeting also.

According to a 2012 report in Brides magazine, the average American couple spends just under $27,000 on their wedding, while their northern neighbors in Canada spend slightly more than $23,000 on average for their big day.

Clearly couples, regardless of which side of the border they call home, can expect to invest a substantial amount of money for their weddings.

While many couples find the cost of a wedding is well worth it, others would like to find ways to save so their big day isn’t a budgetbuster. Such savings aren’t always easy to come by, especially for couples with a very distinctive picture in mind of what their wedding should be. However, even couples strongly committed to a certain wedding style might change their minds once they realize how much such a dream wedding will cost. For those couples as well as couples who simply want

to save some money, the following are a few ideas to avoid busting your budget without venturing too far from your dream wedding. * Trim the guest list. The guest list is perhaps the easiest place to begin saving money. Many reception halls will charge by the head, so consider if you really need to invite 150 guests or if 100 will do. Such trimming can save you a substantial amount of money. For example, a banquet hall that charges $200 per guest will cost couples with a guest list of 150 $30,000 for the reception alone. Cutting that guest list to 100 reduces that cost by $10,000.

When putting together the guest list, remove those candidates who would best be described as acquaintances. This can include coworkers with whom you don’t socialize, as well as old college friends to whom you rarely speak. Distant cousins you haven’t spoken to in years can also

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knot in the United States.

September and October have also gained momentum. Explanations for this shift vary, but it may have something to do with changing weather patterns and warmer weather now arriving later in the season than in the past. Also, getting married later in the year may make it easier for couples to secure their wedding venues.

By JUNE WINTERS

Special to The Daily Home

Bob Crisp/The Daily Home

Kaye Cloud at Pell City First United Methodist Church says she doesn’t have any formal training in directing weddings, but she’s learned the “ins and outs” of putting together a perfect day for the bride.

At the rehearsal, the wedding party is told where to come in from, when to walk in and where to stand up front.

The members of the party go through the motions to familiarize themselves with everything, and are told about the director’s hand signals during the ceremony, reminding them

of various responsibilities.

On the day of the wedding, the director arrives at the church the same time as the family and photographer. She sees that flowers are placed just as the bride wanted, and that bouquets, corsages, boutonnières, and baskets of flower petals are all accounted for.

It’s her responsibility to be sure the music is all set to go, and lighting and sound is as it should be.

When the magic hour arrives, the director stations herself at the door and is ready to signal each member of the wedding party when it’s “their time” to perform at this special “once-in-a-life-

time” occasion.

When the last guest has departed for the wedding reception, you will find the director still on the job, seeing that everything used for the wedding has been removed from the church’s sanctuary, and the area has become just as it was before the “lifechanging” event.

Simple ways to save on your wedding choices to beer and wine, which will be perfectly acceptable to most guests anyway. In addition, rather than paying the caterer for the wine, buy your own and you’ll save a considerable amount of money. You may have to pay the caterer a fee to pour the wine, but that fee is negligible compared to what you’d pay the company to provide the wine. * Choose a buffet-style dinner over waiter ser-

vice. Many guests will no doubt prefer a buffet-style dinner instead of waiter service, so take advantage of that and choose a more affordable buffet-style dinner that allows diners to choose their own entrees and side dishes.

When it comes to trimming wedding costs, couples will have to make compromises. But those compromises don’t have to come at the cost of a beautiful and memorable event.

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sons for that disparity are unclear, it’s safe to say there are savings to be had for brides who don’t want to break the bank paying for their wedding gowns. * Get hitched in the off-season. Many couples prefer to get married sometime between the months of May through October. During these months, venues and vendors, including limousine services, caterers, photographers, musicians, and deejays, are more expensive. If you are willing to switch your wedding date to the off-season you can save a substantial amount of money. In addition, you likely won’t face as much competition for the best venues and vendors as you will during the peak wedding season. * Trim your beverage budget. The bar tab at the end of the reception can be considerable, but there are ways to save money while ensuring your guests can still toast you and yours with a few libations. Rather than offering a full bar, limit the

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For decades the month of June held firm as the most popular month for weddings. But statistics now indicate there may be shifting preferences in the time of year for marriages. According to The National Center for Health Statistics, July and August are now the most popular months for tying the

be cut from the list. * Don’t go overboard on the gown. Styles are ever-changing, so there’s a strong chance brides won’t be passing down their wedding gowns to their own daughters someday. What’s popular now will likely seem outdated by the time your daughter walks down the aisle. Keep this in mind when shopping for a wedding dress, which can be made in the same design as the one you try on but with cheaper fabrics that are a fraction of the cost.

The disparity between gown costs in the United States and Canada should paint a good picture of how easily brides can save money on their gowns.

According to a survey of wedding trends conducted by Weddingbells, an online resource for Canadian brides, the average Canadian bride in 2011 spent just under $1,800 on her wedding gown, while the average American bride spends roughly $1,100 on her gown. Though the rea-

THE DAILY HOME, Talladega and St. Clair counties, Ala., Sunday, June 23, 2013 — 7A

BRIDES

Brian Schoenhals/The Daily Home

Bridal consultants Gloria Nix and Connie Burrell at Griffin’s Jewelers can help brides choose their everyday and formal china. They say many young brides are sticking with a popular pottery type china, which comes in bright colors.

Choosing the ‘just right’ gift

By JUNE WINTERS Special to The Daily Home

It’s never too early for brides-to-be to begin making choices on the local wedding registries.

Just as our grandmother’s china and crystal are our priceless treasures, today’s bride’s choices will become those same treasures for future generations.

According to bridal consultants at Griffin’s Jewelers, brides choosing both everyday and formal china varies with locations.

“Those whose lifestyle won’t be calling for a lot of entertaining seem to be

sticking with a popular pottery type china, which comes in bright colors,” said Gloria Nix, Griffin’s jewelry bridal consultant in the Sylacauga store.

Nix says all fine china, crystal, silver and stainless flatware will be made available in both the Sylacauga and Talladega stores at the request of the bride.

Connie Burrell, a bridal consultant at the Talladega Griffin’s store, says another trend she has noticed is a lot of today’s brides choosing all white china. “It’s so versatile,” she said. “It can be just as formal as you wish with the right linen, or just as

casual with place mats and napkins in bright and bold colors.

The bridal gift consultants say many brides are choosing two types of crystal. One of a thin crystal and long stem for formal dining, and another that is a thicker cut with a shorter stem for more casual settings.

According to Nix and Burrell, few brides choose silver flatware these days, with stream-lined designed stainless being the popular choice. Picture frames have also become a popular bridal registry item. These and a large variety of serving pieces

are of a special aluminum made by Arthur Court and Beatriz Ball. The beautiful items can be served from, baked in at temperatures up to 350 degrees and chilled in.

According to an advertisement for Beatriz Ball, this metal is made “one piece at a time,” using the ancient method of sand casting.

Etiquette says wedding gifts should be sent at least two months before the wedding, and to ensure your gift is one of the “just what we wanted” kind, stick to the registry.

After all, that’s what it’s there for.

Tips for selecting flowers What would a wedding day be without flowers?

The beauty and the aroma of fresh-cut flowers can create a welcoming atmosphere and complement the beauty and the style of a wedding wardrobe.

Flowers are often the first things that guests see upon arriving for the ceremony, and they may even be something guests take home at the end of the night. Flowers create an air of romance, and most couples want to make flowers -- whether fresh or silk — an integral part of their wedding day.

As with any decision when planning a wedding, choosing the right flowers requires some research and a basic knowledge of which flowers will convey the message and the theme of your wedding. The number of colors, textures and combinations that can be created are so numerous that couples may feel the decision on the floral arrangements is best left to the florist. But it doesn’t take a lot of expertise to know what you want, and it is important for couples to convey their feelings to the florist. Consider these tips when choosing a florist and selecting flowers. * Experts advise that a couple start looking for a florist at least six months before the wedding, especially if the wedding will take place during the peak season of May through September. Get recommendations from friends as to which florist they used or find out if your wedding planner or banquet hall manager recommends a particular florist.

Some catering halls have agreements with florists, and they work together. * Browse magazines to get ideas of what you like. You also may be able to find a florist through an advertisement or if he or she has been featured in publications. Keep a scrapbook of the colors, types of flowers and

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arrangements and any other ideas that attract you so you will be able to present this information to the florist. * Establish your flower budget prior to sitting down with the florist. You should expect to pay at least 8 percent of the total wedding cost on flowers.

Get an estimate on the floral arrangement and then tweak your needs according to your budget.

Many florists can modify arrangements and find a middle ground with regard to cost. Selecting flowers that are in-season will result in more affordable rates than if you desire exotic or out-of-season blooms. * Once you’ve hired the florist, you can come up with a wedding flower worksheet that establishes all of your needs. The florist may ask for specific information, such as photos of the bride’s gown as well as the colors and styles that the wedding party will be wearing. A good florist knows that a bouquet should not overpower or detract from the beauty of the bride. The florist may want to mimic textures from the dress, See Flowers, Page 8

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8A — THE DAILY HOME, Talladega and St. Clair counties, Ala., Sunday, June 23, 2013

BRIDES

Tips for writing your own vows

such as beading, with smaller flowers or berries within the arrangement.

The groom’s boutonniere is traditionally one of the flowers from the bride’s bouquet so that the look is cohesive. * Ceremony flowers may be traditional, and some houses of worship have strict guidelines as to what can and cannot be used. However, reception flowers can be where you show off your creativity and whimsy. After all, this is a party and it should be fun. You may want to give the florist more freedom of expression with regard to reception centerpieces and flowers that adorn other areas of the room. * Because receptions tend to take place in the evening hours and are often indoor affairs, experts say that added lighting may be needed to put emphasis on the floral centerpieces and help present them in their best light. You may want to think about hiring a lighting designer to spotlight some areas of the room or at the very least incorporate candlelight into your centerpiece arrangements. * To give the impression that there are more flowers than there really are, use fragrance and filler as your tools.

Fragrant flowers can fill up the room with a welcoming aroma.

Look for frangipani, lilies, hyacinths, jasmine,

and sweet peas for a big impact. Florists know how to stretch arrangements by using greenery and other filler to lend bulk without too much extra cost. *Experienced florists will know how long it takes certain buds to open and show off their maximum beauty.

Therefore, expect a florist to be working on your floral arrangements as much as a week before the wedding date — purchasing containers, cleaning flowers and waiting for certain ones to open fully. Minimize changes close to your wedding date as most things will already be started. * It is possible to make your own centerpieces or bouquets if you so desire. Simplicity will work best for the novice.

Think about grouping similar-hued calla lilies together for a bridal bouquet. Hydrangea and peonies are larger flowers that can easily fill up a vessel on a table as a centerpiece. White flowers will coordinate with any color scheme and could be the easiest to mix and match. White blooms include sweet pea, rose, camellia, stephanotis, narcissus, gardenia, orchid, lily of the valley, jasmine, and gypsophila.

Flowers are one component of the wedding that will help achieve the magic and beautiful atmosphere couples desire.

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How much money a couple spends on their wedding depends largely on where they decide to tie the knot.

While couples across the nation spend an average of roughly $27,000 on their weddings, the cost of tying the knot is considerably higher in major cities such as New York and Chicago.

According to TheKnot. com, the average cost of a wedding in New York City in 2011 was a shade

under $66,000, making the Big Apple the most expensive city in the country to get married.

That’s considerably more than the runner-up, the Windy City, where couples spent just more than $53,000 to get married.

Couples who wince at those figures should know that there are more affordable places to get married. The state of West Virginia, for example, is the least expensive

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A wedding is a oncein-a-lifetime event for many couples, so brides and grooms wish for the event to be momentous and memorable. As such, couples are increasingly integrating personal nuances into their ceremonies and receptions to tailor Couples are increasingly integrating personal nuances into their cerweddings to their unique emonies and the desire to include personalized wedding vows continues visions. The desire to to be a popular trend. include personalized wedding vows continues to be a popular trend. upon them. Make sure the other appointment. an author or a poet who If you are considervows will be concise. Aim * Be aware of cerinspires you? You can ing personalized wedding for your entire speech to emony guidelines. It is quote certain writers in vows, first realize that it be around 1 minute in best to check with your your vows or let the tone may not be a simple task. length to keep everyone officiant and confirm that of their works help shape That’s because you want engaged and the ceremony personalized wedding the words of your vows. the message conveyed moving along. vows are allowed. During There also are suggested to be dear to your heart, * Put everything civil ceremonies it’s often wedding readings and and that can be challengtogether. Draft your vows acceptable to customother quotes about maring when faced with the and then practice them ize vows as you see fit. riage readily available at pressures and planning by reading out loud. You However, during religious the library or with a quick of the rest of the wedwant to avoid long senceremonies there may search online. ding. That isn’t to say that be lines of scripture that tences or anything that * Decide on a tone. writing your own vows is trips you up. Although need to be read or certain Although the day is based impossible. Here are some passages required. Before large words may sound on love and affection, you guidelines for personalimpressive, they could you spend hours working may not feel comfortable izing your ceremony with make the vows seem too on the task, be sure that it spouting words of adorayour own sentiments. academic and not necesis allowed and that your tion in front of friends * Schedule time for sarily heartfelt. Enlist the spouse and you are on the and family. Feel free to writing. Amid the bustle help of a friend or two to same page. tap into your unique perof dress fittings and interact as your audience to see * Jot down your feelsonality. Humor can be views with photographers, ings. Answer some quesif the vows sound good used if it aligns with the it can be easy to put off tions about what marriage way you normally express and are easily understandthe important task of writ- means to you and how you your affections. Be sure to able. ing vows for another day.

Writing your own vows feel about your spouse. weave this tone into more But as any great writer Try to avoid trite sayings traditional passages to cre- can be a way to include can attest, it takes writpersonal expressions of and think from your heart ate a cohesive expression ing — and rewriting — to and personal experiences. love into a couple’s wedof your feelings. achieve a finished prodding day. Public speaking Think about what is the * Establish an outline. uct you can be proud of. is seldom easy, nor is most important thing you Put together all of the Give the task of writing finding the perfect words want to promise to your words and phrases you’ve your vows your undivided future partner. These notes jotted down into an outline to convey feelings about attention. Mark it in on a future spouse. However, can serve as the starting to help you organize the your calendar or set a with some practice and points for the actual vows. flow of the vows, using reminder on your computinspiration, anyone can * Read inspirational these words as a blueprint er just as you would any draft personalized vows. writings. Perhaps there is for the vows and building

THE DAILY HOME, Talladega and St. Clair counties, Ala., Sunday, June 23, 2013 — 9A

BRIDES

Origins of bridal customs

Do-it-yourself wedding Those thinking about tying the knot in the months to come may be discouraged by how expensive weddings can be. But with a little ingenuity and a hands-on approach, couples can have a wedding that is inexpensive and memorable at the same time.

According to CostofWedding.com, on average, U.S. couples spend $26,542 for their weddings. Weddingbells magazine states that the average cost for a wedding in Canada is $23,330, up from $20,129 in 2010.

These amounts do not include the cost for an engagement ring or wedding bands. With such a high price tag, some couples may wonder if they can afford their dream wedding or if there are ways to cut costs. Having a backyard, DIY wedding can be the answer.

Although some may envision a backyard wedding with picnic benches and Dad at the grill, it can be a much classier affair than that. Smart couples are realizing that the money they would normally spend on a big wedding at an outside venue can be put to better use, either through buying a new home or fixing up one they may already own. Furthermore, for couples who are picky about details, having a DIY event ensures that they can control the details and have them as personal as they would like.

Chances are those who have attended a wedding have witnessed some popular traditions take place. The bride wears a veil, a court of wedding attendants accompanies the bride and groom, and birdseed, rice or flower petals are tossed. But have you ever wondered why?

The wedding customs are ripe with tradition and harken back to days when superstition and myth often ruled the day. * Throwing rice: Today it has become de rigueur to blow bubbles, toss birdseed or release doves when the bride and groom leave the house of worship newly betrothed.

That’s because savvy individuals found that raw rice can pose a hazard to birds pecking in the area.

However, rice throwing is an old custom that dates back to the Middle Ages, when wheat or rice where thrown to symbolize fertility for the couple. * Bouquet: Nowadays, the bride carries a beautiful bouquet of flowers.

But the purpose of the bouquet held different meanings in the past.

Saracen brides carried orange blossoms for fertility. Others carried a combination of herbs and flowers to ward off evil spirits with their aroma.

Bouquets of dill were often carried, again for fertility reasons, and after the ceremony, the dill was eaten to encourage lust. * Bridesmaids: There may be arguments over dresses and how many bridesmaids to have in a wedding party now, but in ancient times it was “the more the merrier.” That’s because bridesmaids were another measure to keep the bride safe against evil spirits. Essentially the bridesmaids were decoys for the spirits -- dressing like the bride to confuse the spirits or maybe help deter them to leave the bride be. * Wedding rings:

Bob Crisp/The Daily Home

A wedding cake once symbolized fertility for the happy couple.

Wearing of wedding rings dates back to ancient Egypt. The round shape of a ring symbolizes eternal love. The ring is worn on the fourth finger of the left hand because it is believed this finger has a blood vessel that goes directly to the heart. * Wedding cake: The traditional wedding cake evolved from Roman times when the cake was originally made from

wheat. It was broken over the bride’s head to ensure fertility. All of the guests eat a piece for good luck.

Single women used to place a piece of wedding cake under their pillows in the hopes of finding their own husbands. * Father accompanying the bride: This tradition symbolizes that the bride’s father endorses the choice in husbands and is presenting his daughter as a

pure bride to that man. * Kissing the bride: In older times, a kiss symbolized a legal bond.

Therefore, the bride and groom kissed to seal the deal on their betrothal.

There are many traditions surrounding a wedding that people simply accept. But understanding their origins can make the ceremony more meaningful.

Origins of the term ‘honeymoon’ It has become tradition for married couples to jet off on a post-wedding vacation. This honeymoon is a way for the bride and groom to enjoy quiet time together and start off their married life together on an intimate level.

for Scandinavian couples to drink a sweet, honeyinfused wine known as mead for a month after getting married. This may be where the “honey,” for the sweet drink, and the “moon,” for the one-month period of time, originated.

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Others say “honeymoon” refers to a sarcastic quip that a marriage starts out sweet as honey, but then wanes much as the moon will each cycle.

Work in Advance Many items necessary for a wedding can be bought in advance.

Some couples find that purchasing low-cost items at discount stores turns out to be less expensive than renting. For example, inexpensive glasses and silverware can be bought at dollar stores or chains like Ikea. Later on these items can be kept, sold or even donated to shelters.

Tablecloths don’t have to be the traditional kind.

It may be less expensive to purchase pieces of fabric from a fabric store and dressing them up oneself.

Candles can be stockpiled relatively easy and provide a very affordable means of ambient light. Plan out centerpiece ideas and figure out which components can be bought and stored. Then items can be assembled at leisure.

Wedding stationery is one thing that will have to be bought well in advance so there will be time enough to printout save-the-dates, invitations and response cards, as well as mail them.

An informal wedding may mean couples can get simple attire. Buying off the rack may mean a smaller price tag for gowns. Gentleman may be able to fare with sportcoats and slacks. Purchase wardrobe essentials several months in advance to be sure there will be time for alterations, if necessary.

See DIY, Page 10

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Although the word “honeymoon” has happy connotations today, the original meanings of the word may not be so blissful. There are varying accounts of the evolution of the word “honeymoon,” but many believe it to be a Norse tradition deriving from the word “hjunottsmanathr.”

Northern European history describes women being abducted from their families and forced into

marriage with a man from a neighboring village. This husband would take his new bride into hiding and stay there for a while until it was certain the bride’s family had given up the hunt and retreated.

It was also tradition

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10A — THE DAILY HOME, Talladega and St. Clair counties, Ala., Sunday, June 23, 2013

Enlist the help of family and friends to get many of the tasks completed. Upon asking, many couples find there are members of the family who have skills in certain areas, which can be tapped for the wedding.

There may be a gourmet chef, a disc jockey, a photographer or even someone who can officiate the vows. Having these people on board means a great reduction in costs.

Readying the Venue Because couples will be doing the work themselves, it’s best to start several days in advance of the wedding (weather permitting). Be sure the grounds are well groomed and landscaped.

Ensure there are no tripping hazards and that there is a sturdy surface for placing tables or creating a dance floor.

It may pay to ask an electrician or someone who dabbles in electric work to help string some lights to better illuminate the area, especially for when the sun goes down.

Set up the tables and chairs to finalize placement the day before.

Figure out where the ceremony will take place.

A small arbor can mark the area and make a nice photo backdrop. Dress the tables with linens and settings the morning of the wedding.

One splurge couples may want to make is hiring a waitstaff to help set up food service areas, serve as bartenders and clear away dishes and other messes. This way the bride and groom can mingle with guests.

Other Tips and Tricks Here are some other ways to save money on DIY weddings. * Fruit is less expensive than flowers for centerpieces. * Include postcard response cards in wedding invites. The postage is less, and you don’t have to spend money on an extra envelope. * Be sure to check with your town if you need a permit or variance for having so many cars parked by the house in the event of a backyard wedding.

Otherwise you could be facing a fine. * Many different foods can be cooked in advance and frozen instead of hiring a catering service. * Consider favors that also double as table centerpieces. * Bouquets can easily be made with store-bought flowers, some floral tape and decorative ribbon. * Restrict the bar to wine and beer, and you’ll save money on expensive liquors.

A DIY wedding can be a fun, memorable event that costs a couple a fraction of what it would be to have it held at an expensive location.

Save-the-date card etiquette More and more couples planning to walk down the aisle are embracing save-the-date cards to give guests adequate notice that there is a party on the horizon.

Save-the-date cards do more than let guests know when you’re getting hitched. The cards are a preliminary way to keep guests informed and let them know they are, in fact, on the guest list. These cards haven’t always been so popular, but have risen in popularity due to longer engagement periods, a growing number of destination weddings and the growing number of couples with guests from all over the country, if not the world.

Considering people often plan business trips, vacations and other excursions several months in advance, save-the-date cards help secure a greater number of attendees at your wedding.

Save-the-date announcements can vary in many ways. They may be postcards or magnets that can be attached to a refrigerator door. If you desire a cohesive theme to your wedding stationery, select the save-the-date cards at the same time you choose your wedding invitations. This way you can ensure that either the patterns, fonts, colors, or style of the cards will match.

It will also help convey the tone of the wedding.

Guests often take their cues regarding the level of formality of the wedding from the type of stationery couples choose.

When to send out the save-the-date announcements is important as well. As a general rule of thumb, it is wise to mail out the cards 6 months in advance for a standard

Bob Crisp/The Daily Home

Matthew Toombs and Ashley Hubbard, who were married June 8, sent out photos to remind people to save the date. wedding. If the wedding requires travel or extended overnight accommodations, you may want to mail them out 8 months to a year in advance to give guests the time to investigate flight costs and hotel arrangements. A wedding also may necessitate planning a vacation or personal time off from work. Therefore, ample advanced notice is advisable.

Be sure to make your guest list in advance of sending out save-the-date cards. Everyone who

receives a card should also be sent an invitation prior to the wedding. Remember to include any members of your planned wedding party in the list of recipients. Just because a person has verbally confirmed attendance at your wedding doesn’t mean they should be excluded from subsequent announcements. Guests may talk to one another and it is best to avoid hurt feelings and any added drama before the wedding by treating everyone equally.

Be sure to include the

wedding date, your names and the location of the wedding on the save-thedate cards. You do not need to offer RSVP information or detailed specifics at this time. You may want to include a Web site URL on the card so guests can check it frequently for updates on wedding information. Be sure to also include that a formal invitation will follow at a later date. You do not want to cause confusion by having guests think that the save-the-date card is the actual invitation. Also,

make sure you address the save-the-date cards correctly to show your intentions with respect to guest invites. For example, be clear about whether children will be invited and whether a boyfriend/girlfriend or another guest can tag along.

Although save-the-date cards are not a necessity, they have become a popular part of wedding planning to eliminate confusion about invitations as well as help guests plan time off for your wedding.

Save money by making your own invitations Calligraphy, embossing, fonts, watermarks — these and other terms are finely engrained in the wedding stationery lexicon. While traditionalists may pore over carefully crafted invitations and other stationery products from commercial printers, couples looking to rein in wedding spending may choose to take a more hands-on approach to wedding invitations ... by printing the invites themselves.

Before the advent of sophisticated home computer systems and affordable desktop printers, brides- and grooms-to-be had to rely on professional printers and engravers.

The process of producing wedding invitations likely involved printing plates or some form of thermography and took place in a building replete with bulky equipment and the pungent aroma of ink. Though formal and often exquisitely executed, these wedding invitations can still prove quite expensive.

The Bridal Association of America says that the average cost of professionally produced wedding

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As the evolution of home-based printing has broadened the possibilities of do-it-yourself printing, couples who hope to design and produce their own wedding invitations have many options at their disposal.

Pre-Made Kits A visit to a stationery store or even the local

craft retailer should present shoppers with several different wedding invita-

tion kits. These packages See Invites, Page 11

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invitations is $659. This refers to invitations that have printed envelopes, reply cards, and printer reply card envelopes.

Changes in design or even the color of the text can impact prices further. It is not unheard of to spend as much as $2,000 for highquality engraved wedding invitations. Considering the invitation is held for a short period of time and then tossed away, some couples cannot imagine spending so much on invi-

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DIY

BRIDES

The purpose of this information is the dissem ination of technical information.Funding is provided rough th a grant from: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services—Healthy Marriage Demonstration Grant #90FM0006.

The opinions, findings, and conclusions or recommendationsexpressed in this material are those he of t author(s)/presenter(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the United States Depar tment of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families.

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THE DAILY HOME, Talladega and St. Clair counties, Ala., Sunday, June 23, 2013 — 11A

BRIDES

often include blank 11invitations, response cards, envelopes and other embellishments pertaining to the invitation design.

Some can be quite elaborate, with the inclusion of vellum or card inserts, as well as die-cut designs.

Couples who want control over the wording and printing but would rather leave the creative design to someone else can benefit from these invitation kits. They also tend to be affordably priced in comparison to a professional printing service.

Crafty Card-Making Interest in scrapbooking and card-making has spurred craft centers to stock many different materials that can be used to design wedding invitations. Layering different types of paper to create a three-dimensional effect and using embellishments such as rhinestones or ribbon can help dress up the wedding invitation.

Couples hosting a casual wedding for a small number of guests may enjoy the process of hand-crafting wedding invitations and possibly customizing them for each guest. Intimate affairs lend themselves well to this level of personalization, and handmade invitations could set the cozy tone of the celebration.

Graphic Design Work Couples who have a creative spark may want to draw up their own invitation design or look for the assistance of an artist or graphic designer.

There are many different programs that employ the use of clip art and stock imagery that can be put to use with regard to invitations. Those who have a cursory knowledge of some design applications can import text and images and manipulate the size of their templates accordingly for the type of invitation they desire.

The finished file then can be printed at home or brought to an office supply center for more professional results.

Digital Services The Internet has brought many services right into the homes of the average person. Discount invitation printing vendors abound and couples can choose and customize everything they want on their invitations. Due to low overhead costs and an abundance of customers, these online retailers are often priced lower than other venues. Depending on how much control the couple desires over the invitation, there may be ready-made templates or the ability to pick items “ a la carte.”

The opportunities to create wedding invitations at home enables some budget-conscious couples to keep costs for stationery at a minimum.

Not only does making their own invitations save money, it also enables couples to have more creative control over one of the important components of a wedding that helps set the tone for the occasion.

A wedding doesn’t just happen ... it takes planning

By JUNE WINTERS Special to The Daily Home

The big day is almost here!

You have set the date, chosen the time and place, located just the right spot for the reception, and tickets are safely tucked away for that special honeymoon trip!

You’ve addressed and mailed the invitations, written “a zillion” thank you notes, smiled until your face hurts and kept one of the tightest schedules you’ve ever faced in your life.

WOW! It’s almost time to take a deep breath and relax …

The key word is “almost.” Last minute details are piling up as THE day approaches.

You must contact the florist and be sure what you have ordered is on hand, and all plans are on “Go.” For the soonto-be-weds, that’s the bridesmaids’ bouquets or corsages for mothers and grandmothers, boutinieres for the groom and groomsmen, flowers for the church and the reception.

There just seems to be no end.

And the happy couple should make a last minute check with the caterer to be sure food and drinks are set to be “just the way you want,” and there have been no complications.

Most importantly — both

the bride’s cake and the groom’s cake orders should be confirmed.

A last minute check should be made on gifts for wedding attendants and rehearsal dinner reservations confirmed.

The bride must be sure her hairdresser has her “day of the wedding” reservations all set, as well as those for attendants that she is responsible for.

Honeymoon luggage for both bride and groom should be packed as far in advance as possible, and arrangements for “going away” clothing should be made, with as little effort as possible to make the “change.”

Are the baskets ready for the flower girls and is the pillow ready for the ringbearer? Do you have the baskets of favors for guests ready, as well as baskets filled with rice bags or whatever your choice has been for the exit of the happy couple.

Then before you know it — in a “twinkling of an eye” — it’s all over.

The church is dark and empty and the reception area is quiet with just memories of happy voices filling the air.

The roar of the big jet engines on the airplane are the only sound the tired but happy couple hear, as they are lifted into space and off to their destination of celebration.

Bob Crisp/The Daily Home

It took lots of planning to make the Big Day happen, then it’s over in a “twinkling of the eye.” Take time to enjoy every minute of your special day.

Martin Luther said it best: “There is no more

lovely, charming relationship, communion or

company than a good marriage.”

Find a gown all your bridesmaids will love Close friends and family members are an important component of a couple’s wedding day.

Individuals who are especially close to the bride and groom are often asked to become members of the wedding party, which means a bride-to-be will be asking one or more women to play an integral role in the celebration.

To set these ladies apart from other guests at the wedding, they are often asked to wear coordinating bridesmaid gowns.

Selecting a style and color that is fitting to the unique people of the bridal party can be challenging, but it’s not impossible.

As if choosing your maid of honor wasn’t tricky enough, you now must make a host of other decisions as well, all while playing stylist to the wedding party. Fashion sense is as unique as a fingerprint, and it is unlikely the bridesmaids will be able to agree on every aspect of the gowns they will be asked to wear. However, there are ways to narrow down the choices and be as accommodating as possible to their needs.

Size matters The body shapes and sizes of the women in your bridal party will be different, and this should be kept in mind when selecting a gown style and cut. There are certain dress shapes

Just Received!

* Take one or two bridesmaids shopping with you. Try to select ones with opposite body types so you can see how the gown looks on a woman who is thin and one who may be more full-figured. * Think about choosing separates. The bridesmaids can mix and match tops and bottoms to find a fit that works. This may enable a woman with a larger bust size to select a top with supportive straps

while another bridesmaid can opt for strapless. Many stores have

increased their inventory of separates because of their growing popularity.

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bridesmaids are expected to pay for their wardrobe, hair styling, and makeup, as well as parties and gifts for the happy couple. As a courtesy to the women who already will be investing a considerable amount to be a part of your wedding, make every effort to select a gown that is affordable. There are plenty of retailers offering stylish options that may not be as expensive as some specialty stores.

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that are universally flattering, such as A-line. Try to avoid gowns that are extremely form-fitting, as only a few of the bridesmaids may be able to pull off this look successfully.

The remainder could be left feeling self-conscious and uncomfortable. Plus, form-fitting clothing will be restrictive and can be difficult to move around in -- particularly considering the gown will be worn for an entire day.

Flattering Color As a bride you may have a colorscape in your mind for the wedding. But what looks good in table linens and flowers is not always the right choice for clothing. Take the skin tones and hair colors of your bridesmaids into consideration before choosing a dress. Green- and yellow-hued dresses may not look nice on women with olive skin tones, while very pale colors may wash out women with fair skin.

Those with dark skin may need a brighter-colored dress.

Price Tag It is an honor to be asked to be part of a bridal party, but that honor can be very expensive. The

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12A — THE DAILY HOME, Talladega and St. Clair counties, Ala., Sunday, June 23, 2013

BRIDES

Roles of the best man and maid of honor

Music is an integral element of many of life’s special events.

The score of a movie can carry a film, and a tender song can bring tears to a person’s eyes during a stage production.

Many couples spend lots of time choosing a song for their first dance at their wedding. While that song is significant, couples should devote lots of time to choosing a band or deejay for the reception as well.

Statistics compiled from a variety of sources, including USA Today, TheKnot. com and Brides magazine, point out that roughly 80 percent of guests say the thing they remember most about a wedding is the entertainment. When asked, many couples admit they wish they spent more time and money choosing their wedding entertainment.

maid of honor will help the bride get dressed and help iron out any miniemergencies that should crop up. The best man will help ensure all of the ushers are dressed and get the groom to the wedding on time.

During the ceremony, the maid of honor will hold the bride’s bouquet while she participates in

the wedding. The best man will keep the rings safe until they are needed.

The maid of honor also will help adjust the bride’s train and veil as she sits and stands during the ceremony. Both will sign the marriage certificate as witnesses.

At the reception, the best man is expected to give a toast and the maid

of honor may share some words as well. She also may accompany the bride to the restroom and assist her with managing the gown.

After the wedding The best man will be in charge of returning the tuxedoes to the rental shop, if necessary. He also may drive the newly mar-

ried couple to the airport so they can depart on their honeymoon.

The maid of honor will assist the bride in changing out of her gown and into her travel clothes.

Oftentimes the maid of honor takes the gown to the cleaners in the days following the ceremony so the dress can be preserved.

Secrets to a long and happy marriage Some might say a long celebrity marriage is one that endures the duration of the newly betrothed’s trip down the aisle. We’ve seen Britney Spears dissolve a marriage after 55 hours and Kim Kardashian call it quits after 72 days. It seems even money can’t buy matrimonial happiness.

But some couples have been together for 50, 60 years and say they’re still as much in love as they were the day they spoke their “I dos.” What do they know others do not?

According to clinical psychologist and relationship guru Dr. Phil McGraw, “We all need to be flexible and to compromise in marriage, but you’ve got to be true to your core traits and characteristics, what I call your authentic self.”

Some couples enter a relationship projecting a persona they believe the other person wants -- one that really isn’t what they’re all about. This could be a woman trying to fill the role of her husband’s nurturing mom or a guy playing the protector to his wife. In reality, marriage is more of a partnership, and truth and trust are often at the basis of good marriages.

There are many other “secrets” that marriage experts will offer to couples seeking the magic formula. Whether you’re pondering marriage or have already tied the knot, consider the following advice to make a marriage endure for the long haul.

* There’s no such thing as the perfect marriage. Some couples create an image of what they think marriage is supposed to be, and that image that often goes “poof” once reality sets in. Even soulmates are bound to frustrate or irritate one another from time to time. * Couples should express their frustrations.

Bottling up frustrations can eat at a person and eventually destroy a marriage. Talking about the things that are bothering you with your partner opens up a discussion and can help you work through things. * Divorce should not be seen as a viable option. Couples who want to bail on the marriage at every turn could be directing their energy toward divorce as the only solution instead of discovering ways to remove the cause of strife. Divorce can sometimes be the easy way out when you think about the work that goes into keeping a marriage working.

Experts say that there are a few issues, like adultery, abuse and drug/alcohol addiction, that may be reasonable catalysts for divorce if personal safety and sanity is being compromised. * Make time for romance. It’s easily said but not so easily done.

Too often married couples forget what it was like to date when all of their attention was spent on each other instead of the house, kids, work, etc.

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Today there seems to be even more distractions, from e-mails to texts to pressure and obligations at the office. Happy couples find the time to spend quality time with their spouses -- even if that’s only 10 minutes of alone time a day. * Put “we” first. Many people operate on a “me” mentality. When you’re part of a couple, give more to your spouse than you take. If he or she is doing the same, you’re working collectively for the benefit of the marriage instead of yourselves. * Respect each other.

Often couples having troubles realize they treat strangers better than they treat each other. Would use the insults or unflattering terms that you sometimes throw at your

spouse with a complete stranger? Probably not.

Good marriages are based on a foundation of respect and love. It’s easy to lose feelings of love if the respect is gone.

Couples can realize that there are some thorns that come with the roses of marriage, and staying happy together does take work for it to all be worth it.

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Music helps make memories and gets guests on their feet.

Those who enjoy themselves most at the wedding are often the people who are on the dance floor. It is important to note that price shouldn’t be the deciding factor for wedding day entertainment. It is crucial to see the entertainment provider in action to judge for oneself just how good he or she is.

One of the best ways to witness a deejay or band in action is to attend a wedding where they will be working. Find out if you can spend a little while peeking into a wedding and gauge guests’ responses to the music and find out how the entertainment engages the crowd.

The entertainer may be able to arrange this with a couple from an upcoming wedding so that you don’t necessarily have to crash the wedding. If a musical entertainment company is wary of letting you see players in action, it may be an indication to look elsewhere.

The maid of honor closely assists the bride with many of the important decisions related to the look and feel of the wedding. On the wedding day, she acts as a support system for the bride.

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Wedding day On the day of the wedding, the maid of honor and the best man will act as a support system for the bride and groom. The

Bob Crisp/The Daily Home

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Prior to the wedding Before the wedding takes place, the maid of honor will closely assist the bride-to-be with many of the important decisions related to the look and the feel of the wedding. She typically accompanies the bride to dress shops to select gowns for the bride and bridesmaids. Much in the same manner, the best man will assist the groom-to-be with choosing tuxedoes or suits and also with coordinating with the ushers to ensure they know when to go for fittings.

Although the best man will serve as a sounding board for the groom, traditionally the bride and her bridesmaids have taken on the majority of the wedding planning, so the maid of honor can expect to play a larger role than the best man. The maid of honor may be asked to delegate certain assignments, such as helping to find wedding vendors or addressing invitations.

She may go with the bride for makeup and hairstyle trials. Together with the bridesmaids, she will plan a bridal shower party and a bachelorette excursion.

She may select a wedding gift for the couple and present it on behalf of all the wedding attendants.

The best man will coordinate the bachelor party and may be asked to assist the groom with selecting a honeymoon site or to come along to book the trip.

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Being chosen as a best man or a maid of honor is a significant and meaningful honor. Those roles have evolved over the years, but these special participants must still perform some of the traditional duties of the past, including serving as the official witnesses to the ceremony. The following is a rundown of the various duties maids of honor and best men are now expected to handle once they’re chosen for these distinguished honors.