My Health Backup Plan

My Health Back-up Plan

In the far recesses of my mind, I’ve always been aware that I needed a health back-up plan, but I never developed one. I was too busy being athletic to slow down and think about what I would do if I had to restructure my lifestyle due to a change in my health.

I’ve always been an avid reader and writing has long been my creative outlet, but my emphasis was on playing golf and going to the gym. Most of the gym work was focused on making me more limber and stronger for golf. I played golf three to four times a week and practiced at the range for hours. I entered all the local tournaments and usually did well. Golf served my needs for physical activity and mental wellbeing. Most of my social life revolved around it. far as I was used to making it go, effortlessly. Well, this must be the proverbial golf slump, I thought. Happens to everybody. All I need is a few lessons to get back on track. But they didn’t help, and then more strange things began happening. When I tried to cross my my leg high enough to get it across the other one. I began lifting it manually and placing it over the other knee. Then, one day as I began my daily stretching routine on my mat in my living room, I found I could only raise each go into my cross-legged sitting position, my knees stayed up in the air and my hip joints felt painfully stuck. motor skills. Climbing stairs was hard. I couldn’t lift things to put them on shelves. Getting up from a chair, standing up from a squat position, all became impossible. I had become a weakling over the course of a month. I didn’t face the fact that these things were not getting better no matter how much I tried to work on them myself. I was fatigued and lost ten pounds, a huge amount for me, a thin person. I had to face it; something was really wrong, and it wasn’t just going to go away. I made an appointment for a physical with my general practitioner. He was alarmed and sent me to see a neurologist, a rheumatologist, a gastroenterologist, and a specialist in neuromuscular diseases. After months of tests and examinations the verdict was in – I have necrotising myopathy, a rare chronic muscle disease. My muscle enzymes are attacking my muscles and muscle cells are dying.

I’m in treatment now with heavy steroids and physical therapy. So far I’m not getting stronger, but not weaker either. There are some other treatment plans including immunoglobulin transfusions, but no-one has said I will recover.

They say I might recover completely, or partially, or need treatment for a long time. There is a clear reluctance to give me a prognosis so I have to just keep on plugging away and do everything I can to improve. Meanwhile, my life has completely changed. I knew I needed to put my vague back-up plan into effect and develop it to replace my old life. In a weird way, being unable to be so physically active has given me time to pursue my writing with a more serious attitude. Now I set aside time most afternoons to write and I’m taking I don’t mind not playing golf as much as I thought I would. I’m reading all those books I didn’t have time for and starting a book club. That will help with my need to socialise, too. I take short walks with friends who don’t mind walking slowly and put more effort into meeting them at a restaurant. I’ve gotten interested in cooking, too, and I enjoy trying new recipes and techniques. I’m thinking of learning bridge, too. My back-up plan is going full throttle!

I want to get back to the person I was, but if I can’t, I hate to admit it, but the disease has given me time to grow and develop my interests and I’m grateful. Even if I recover fully, I’ll keep my back-up plan going because you never know when you might need it again and I like the new, more well-rounded person I’m becoming. I feel like I’m a more authentic person, now, too – I do what I really want to do and spend time only with people I really want now.

By Bethanie Gorny. Bethanie Gorny lives in Florida. She has had numerous essays and short stories published in newspapers and journals including The Florida Writer, The Sun Sentinel, The Atlantic City Press, Association 2018 awards. Her book ‘Fridays with Eva’ is available online at Amazon. She enjoys creative writing, reading, volunteering, and book clubs.

Illustrations by Epic Bones.