Her Magazine October 2018

FIGHTING for WOMEN

511 Red Banks Road | 252.353.3434 | baileybox.com 2

Her — October 2018

HANDCR AF T ED CHAIN & POWER ROCKS

Her — October 2018

3

October 2018

ON THE

COVER No one will steal Mandy Messerli's joy.

Read more on page 6.

CONTENTS Contact Her

Mackenzie Tewksbury | Editor | 329-9585 Elizabeth Semple | Advertising | 329-9513 Samuel Alvarado | Designer | 329-9604 Email: tellher@reflector.com Her magazine is published by The Daily Reflector and Adams Publishing Group.

Meet Her

Food

Explore

Inside

6 Mandy Messerli 12 16 24 26

4

Trip of a Lifetime One Joke at a Time Dense Breast Tissue October Events

22 Nutrition 11 Puzzles 28 Her Panel 30 Coach Chris

Her — October 2018

From the editor As I sat with the ladies in the pages of this magazine and listened to their stories, I couldn’t help but feel joy. Not that their stories are full of joy—they are most certainly not—but so much joy and light radiated off each and every one of these women that it was pleasantly contagious.

I find that to be extremely powerful. These women have faced heartbreak and pain.

They’ve faced wins and losses. They’ve rang

Meet our team

bells. They’ve held events. They’ve raised awareness. They’ve educated others. They’ve lifted others up - even when they were at their seemingly nothing left to give.

Each one of them greeted me with a smile on their face. They told their stories and we laughed. We joked about losing their breasts.

We laughed about shaving their heads. We smiled about back-to-back-to-back doctors appointments.

Sam is the graphic designer for Her Magazine, Bro Magazine and Greenville: Life in the East. His interests include strong coffee, long naps and soft cats. Contact him at salvarado@reflector.com.

Mackenzie is the editor of Her magazine, Mixer magazine and Greenville: Life in the East. She loves a lot of things, but specifically: beer, The Grateful Dead, and her rescue lab, Ficklen.

lowest. They gave everything when there was

Mackenzie Tewksbury Editor

Samuel Alvarado Layout

And as I walked around Town Common on a downright hot Tuesday morning with our cover Juliette Cooke is a photographer for The Daily Reflector and Her and Mixer magazines. She is also a loving mother to her rescue lab, Molly.

woman Mandy Messerli, she showed no aversion to our silly photo requests, to the heat, to the unexpected things that go wrong when you do a photoshoot. She took it all in stride.

I left feeling refreshed. Inspired. Full of joy.

I was ready to take on the day and whatever it may bring—just like these ladies did when they received their heartbreaking diagnosis.

Juliette Cooke Photographer

Molly is a recent RCC photo grad, Carolina Panthers fan and cat enthusiast. Her favorite thing to photograph is sports.

Molly Mathis Photographer

I hope these women, their stories and their hearts lift you up, just as it did me.

Bonnie, a registered dietician, is one of several Pitt County Health Department employees who write the nutrition column for Her. Email her at bonnie. lesko@pittcountync.gov.

Enjoy,

Bonnie Lesko Contributor

Christy Jones, also known as Coach Chris, is a Greenville life and business coach. Contact her at coachchris4success@ gmail.com or www. coachchriscompany.com.

Christy Jones Contributor

Mackenzie Tewksbury — editor

Her — October 2018

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Her — October 2018

POSITIVITY RINGS TRUE Breast cancer didn’t steal this woman’s joy

By Mackenzie Tewksbury | Photos by Juliette Cooke

M

andy Messerli watched patients around her triumphantly rise from their hospital beds and ring the bell — tears, laughs, smiles and hugs normally followed.

She would get there, soon, she thought.

On September 22, 2017, she rang her own bell. It marked her very last round of chemotherapy.

“For me, ringing the bell was a step on my to-do list.”

In other words, she was one step closer to beating her breast cancer.

“I sort of focused on the next thing I had to do,” she said. “I was just like here are the things I have to do to survive.”

That mindset was the same from start to finish — and if you rewind about a year and a half to the day she found out she had breast cancer, it

Her — October 2018

didn’t take long for Mandy to realize what was ahead of her. After a selfbreast exam, a string of back-to-back doctor appointments and a biopsy, she knew her to-do list was starting. “(My doctor’s) tone changed just a little — not a ton — but a little,” Messerli said. “I knew, immediately. I was like I have breast cancer. Immediately I was like this is happening.”

A couple days later, her doctor called to tell her what she already knew. She had breast cancer.

“What do I do now?” Mandy asked herself and her doctor — marching towards her newfound diagnosis with confidence, her head held high and a positive attitude that never seemed to waver.

“I had a choice, right? When you go through something like that, you have a choice. You can be a debby downer or you can be polly positivity. I chose polly positivity because

7

for me that was going to be what was more helpful for me,” she said.

Nearly immediately after the diagnosis, she started chemotherapy. They injected Adriamycin, otherwise known as the infamous “The Red Devil” every other week. It made her pee red; made her lose her hair. When her hair started coming out in big clumps almost two weeks after the treatment started, she stood in her bathtub; her husband behind her holding a razor. They shaved her head, together.

“It was almost a surreal moment,” she said. “My husband has a great story about it…I think he was kind of excited about doing it because he wouldn’t have to pull any hair out of the drain for a while.”

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A routine and keeping consistent with routine was important to me. That helped me stay focused

Her — October 2018

Mandy’s daughter Lilly, only 2-years old at the time and not exactly comprehending what was happening to her mom, would rub her head and say, “Mommy got a haircut!”

While it’s hard to explain to a 2-year-old her mom has breast cancer, Mandy said her daughter took the news very well.

“I want her to know how strong I am — that we fought,” she said. “And not just me. My husband, too. We all fought.”

And fought, they did. Mandy only took off work when they absolutely made her — even working four 10 hour days in a row at her job at The Office of Rights of Responsibilities at East Carolina University so she could take off on Friday and go to chemo.

Next on her to-do list was a double mastectomy, a shockingly same day surgery, and five weeks off of work. Then, radiation. She began 35 rounds of radiation, which she did in the mornings before she went into work, of course.

“A routine and keeping consistent with routine was important to me. That helped me stay focused,” she said.”

She completed the radiation in January — making her journey only about 10 months.

“It was a whirlwind,” she said.

Throughout her journey, Mandy relied heavily on the support of her friends and family, music and also reveled

Her — October 2018

9

in one of her favorite things: snail mail. “My family put out a call for snail mail. I probably got 10-12 letters a day,� she said. “I got them from all over the world. It was the best.�

She also relied on journaling, and started a Facebook group titled “Positivity With a Side of Cancer,� where she chronicled her journey through breast cancer with positive thoughts and stories.

Now, Mandy said she tries to live a life as normal as possible. Her hair has started to come back — it’s not the

bright, fiery red it used to be — but that’s OK. She just returned from a family vacation to her hometown of South Dakota where she enjoyed riding rides with her daughter at the Turner County fair and eating homemade ice cream and “chislic,� the state food. Now, she chooses her battles differently. “You just keep on living your life like it hasn’t been changed dramatically.

In the back of my mind is always you know will it come back, but that’s why I did all the treatment,� she said.

On May 6, 2018, nearly exactly a year since Mandy first started her chemotherapy, she and her family went to see Zach Williams in Winterville, who sings “Old Church Choir,� a song that was on repeat through most of her treatment and what her daughter calls “the mommy song.�

And for Mandy, the lyrics ring truer than ever. “There ain't nothing gonna steal my joy.

No, there ain't nothing gonna steal my joy.�

“There ain't nothing gonna steal my joy.

No, there ain't nothing gonna steal my joy.�

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Her — October 2018

Clues Across

Clues Down

1. A greeting

38. A type of tale

1. Progressive decay of a

26. Greetings

5. A type of hall

39. The middle of the

bone or tooth

28. Craftsmen

9. Planes need one

month

2. Deliberately contrary

30. Mongolian city __ Bator

11. Wealth

41. Christmas

events

32. Did again

13. The act of exciting

43. Ô__ death do us part

3. Unit of mass

34. Sunrooms

15. A movement downward

44. Goes with Gomorrah

4. Kiln

35. Start over

16. Type of storage

46. Ethnic group of

5. Soybean paste

37. Georgians love them

17. A funny and sad play

Thailand

6. Electronic counter-

38. Women

19. After cinco

48. ÒGrown UpsÓ

countermeasures

40. ÒSnake TalesÓ

21. Dry white Italian wine

funnyman

7. Made the bed

cartoonist

22. Where golfers begin

52. A type of index

8. One who mails

42. Pariahs

23. Witnesses

53. A mass of rocks

9. Bar bills

43. Caps

25. Relaxing places

54. Splashed

10. Automotive vehicles

45. Gradually become less

26. Of she

56. KidsÕ playground

11. Breaks

solid

27. Discontinued compact

necessities

12. Swelling of the eyelid

47. Goats

car

57. Sears and London are

14. Asian country

49. French city Le __

29. Resulted

two

15. Couches

50. Exhale

31. Large Irish castle

58. Strip of cloth

18. Stare with mouth wide

51. Homes have at least one

33. Offer for a price

59. Church

open

55. Type of power cable

34. One type is Irish

20. Member of U.S. Navy

36. Free-swimming

24. A sulk

invertebrate

Solutions on page 21 Her — October 2018

11

Greenville woman wins trip of a lifetime

By Tyler Stocks The Daily Reflector

Greenville woman who has had more than her share of bad luck in her lifetime has finally caught a break.

Donna Hardison will be heading to San Diego for a dream trip with her best friend — who not so long ago saved her life.

The trip could not come at a better time.

Hardison has been fighting an onslaught of debilitating medical conditions for most of her life and just this year she has had two medical emergencies.

Hardison, 47, was born with a heart defect and suffered through muscle spasms and dangerously low potassium levels throughout her youth.

“Doctors told me when I was a teenager that my heart's like an 80-year-old and one day, a cardiac emergency would happen,” she said, adding that medical experts predicted she would be dead by the age of 21.

12

Her — October 2018

She beat that diagnosis, but in April, Hardison almost died in a cardiac emergency.

“It was April 15, the day after my best friend Pam Lepera’s birthday, and we had a party with about 30 friends and some family,” Hardison said. “I started feeling really tired and I got in my chair like I normally do but my heart was acting weird as I tried to call her name but couldn't get it out.”

Lepera, a hematologist and oncologist at Vidant Health, recognized Hardison's medical emergency and sprung into action.

“She pulled me out of the chair, gave me CPR and brought me back,” Hardison said.

After that close call, Hardison arranged to have a pacemaker put in. She also made time for her annual mammogram.

Then another medical crisis emerged.

“I went to get my mammogram and the following week my doctor performed a biopsy that showed stage two breast cancer,” she said.

It was a devastating blow to Hardison who recently had finished more than 32 radiation treatments for head and neck cancer.

“At that point, I had eight surgeries to my head and neck for my cancer since 2002,” Hardison said. “Now, I had to get both of my breasts removed.”

Her — October 2018

13

TWIST OF FATE

Doctors told me when I was a teenager that my heart's like an 80-yearold and one day, a cardiac emergency would happen

But fate had better news in store for her.

Three days before her breast cancer surgery, Hardison received a phone call from representatives at Synchrony Bank.

Hardison was the grand prize winner of an all-expenses-paid VIP trip to San Diego complete with roundtrip airfare and a luxury hotel stay, along with concert tickets and meet-and-greet passes for a Lady Antebellum and Darius Rucker concert. She also won $2,500 in cash and $1,500 in gift cards.

“I had entered this contest on Facebook at the last minute, literally three days before the promotion ended,” she said.

Hardison left for her trip on August 23, and her best friend Lepera came along.

“I told her, you saved my life and I owe you a big trip,” Hardison said laughing. “I feel good going on the trip with her; she's a cancer physician.”

She said the trip will allow her to focus on living a normal life.

“This will be great to just get away and be free again,” Hardison said. “You're not free when you're here and you have medical appointments every other day and you're on the phone two to three times a day.”

HELPING OTHERS

STAYING STRONG

Challenges aside, Hardison has a long history of helping others rather than sitting around feeling sorry for herself.

For example, when she lost her home and all her belongings to Hurricane Floyd she banded together with Lepera to assist other victims.

“I was cooking for other people in my spare time, and we helped load the trucks that were taking food and supplies to displaced residents,” Hardison said.

Prior to 2002, when she got diagnosed with head and neck cancer, Hardison was a middle school teacher and tennis coach. When she was put on disability, Hardison spent her time volunteering at a nursing facility, teaching and coaching residents, many of whom — ironically enough — had breast cancer.

Eventually, Hardison had to give up volunteering at the nursing home on account of her failing health.

14

Donna Hardison

Despite her recent breast cancer diagnosis, Hardison said she is not giving up.

Seated in a red chair with a blue blanket draped over her lap, her short spiky auburn hair and tiedyed shirt mirror her spunky personality.

“I never thought I'd have breast cancer,” Hardison said. “I've had seven friends in 10 years who've passed away under the age of 50. I just didn't think I'd be one of them. But I'm gonna live to be 100.

Cancer's not a death sentence. Attitude is a lot of it.

“I've beat so many odds,” she said. “I shouldn't be alive. I should have never gone to college, should've never been a tennis coach. I was a good tennis player and softball player. I never accepted ‘no’ because odds can be beaten.

“This is just another stepping stone for me to be able to reach out to other people,” Hardison said.

Her — October 2018

Her — October 2018

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ONE JOKE AT A TIME: Mother and light in darkness of breast cancer

By Mackenzie Tewksbury | Photos by Juliette Cooke

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Her — October 2018

G

eorgia Childs and her mother Sybil Shirley, a breast cancer survivor, relax in the Hope Lodge on a Monday afternoon, their energies intertwining and producing lots of laughs. This is not unusual, they tell me. Their personalities are light-hearted — cracking jokes, laughing and poking fun at each other. Georgia sticks her tongue out at her mother on many occasions.

It’s that kind of attitude that got them through one of the hardest times in their life.

“With your what-ifs, you could spend all day saying ‘What if I die? What if I have this?’ You know what? Everything’s gonna happen the way it happens, let’s just be funny about it,” Childs said.

In January of 2003, Sybil was diagnosed with breast cancer. She went in for a normal mammogram — it was business as usual, Sybil said, until her doctors came back in to do additional tests.

She knew something was up, but the next day, she had plans to go to Florida. She asked if the doctors would leave her a message about what they found.

Her — October 2018

17

On Monday, she returned to a voicemail from her gynecologist: “I need you to come in. They’ve seen something on your images.”

Within the next couple of days, Sybil had a biopsy scheduled.

She had cancer. She needed surgery right away.

“They didn’t give me much time to even think about it,” Sybil said.

Sybil had surgery to remove her breast; there were no complications. But, Sybil has had two scares in the 15 years following her first surgery, which led her to give this piece of advice: Remove both breasts, always.

We have people all the time say they don’t know the right questions to ask or they’re just scared, so education is probably the most important thing, But she remembers her doctors words: “I’d never remove a perfectly good breast.”

“If I had that doctor in front of me, I’d probably smack him upside the head,” she laughed.

And now, the mother and daughter duo are both advocating for their own health and the health of others.

“Advocating for your own health is important, but for me, teaching others to advocate for their health is important. We have people all the time say they don’t know the right questions to ask or they’re just scared, so education is probably the most important thing,” Georgia said.

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Her — October 2018

Her — October 2018

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Georgia is getting ready to spearhead the 11th annual Peace. Love. Pirates. Cure. event, a cancer awareness event at East Carolina University that hopes to raise awareness and educate people on the signs, symptoms, prevention, survivorship and treatments of different types of cancer.

“This event was about mom,” she said.

And for Sybil, she pushes people every single day to get mammograms early.

“They saved my life. And I know they saved many other lives, too,” Sybil said.

“What I always heard was ‘It hurts,’ and I just said I can only imagine how much worse cancer hurts,” Sybil said.

“I’m retired now, and I still preach — get those mammograms.”

In fact, Georgia celebrated her birth-

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day with her very first one.

"I went on my 35th birthday. Happy birthday, smash my boobs,” she laughed.

Does she like them? No. But she doesn’t care.

“There is no way I’ll miss a mammogram,” she said.

The mother and daughter duo now want to live their lives to the fullest.

“I think after a life changing experience like that, some things just don’t mean that much,” Sybil said.

They want to live a life full of love, the beach and family.

Most importantly, a life free of breast cancer.

“I want to be able to live. I want to be able to hit the road or the beach or whatever that looks like. People should live. And do what you want to do. Get joy out of what you do. That’s

Her — October 2018

what I want,” Georgia said.

Georgia recalled the day her mother went into surgery. Sybil asked for a sticky note and she wrote the phrase “Take this breast” with an arrow to make sure the doctors took the correct breast. The doctors were laughing down the hallway; Georgia and her family were cracking up.

“For me, I mean I’ve always had a sense of humor, probably since I came out of the womb. I laugh at everything.

It’s what gets me through the worst of times,” Georgia said. “For her to do that, even in the worst of times, we all just laughed. I think a sense of humor is important.”

Puzzle solutions from page 11

AUGUST 31 Kick off event Jamrock

OCTOBER 12 Mac & Juice

SEPTEMBER 7 Alumni Weekend Parmalee

OCTOBER 19 Homecoming Night Years

SEPTEMBER 28 Legacy Motown Review

NOVEMBER 2 Military Appreciation Wonderwall (Beatles Tribute)

presented by FREE PARK & RIDE

GAME DAY SHUTTLE Go Pirates!

#lovegvl

#weareuptown

uptowngreenville.com Her — October 2018

21

Nutrition and Women’s Health: Eat right and stay active to be your best self at any age

By Bonnie Lesko, MPH, RD, LDN

With so much conflicting information out there, you may be asking “what should I be eating?” or “should I try that new diet that everyone is buzzing about?”

The season of life you are in, activity level and health status may help you answer some of these questions. For example, growing teenagers and women in childbearing years may need extra calories, calcium, folate or iron. Senior women could need extra calcium or vitamin B12. Others may need extra vitamin D or other vitamins and minerals. It is important to work with your doctor before making changes, taking vitamins or supplements or starting a new activity program.

Here are some tips: Stay active! Studies show that not only can physical activity help you maintain a healthy weight, but, it can also help you manage chronic disease and keep you energized.

Rev up metabolism by walking briskly, swimming and even gardening. The key is finding an activity you enjoy.

22

Eat a balanced meal plan. Try to look for a sensible program that offers a variety of foods and reasonable small portions. Avoid fad diets that offer quick weight loss of more than one to two pounds per week or ones that exclude any food groups. It will be easier to maintain healthy changes, and will help avoid frustration when going off a diet not meant to be followed long term.

One healthy thing most people can do at any age is increase their intake of vegetables and fruit! Make your plate half fruit and non-starchy vegetables such as greens, peppers or zucchini. Try new recipes and different cooking methods such as roasting.

Herbs or spices can make that veggie the star at mealtime! For example, this roasted veggie recipe will make you see root vegetables in a whole new light.

Enjoy the season you are in, and make it the best one!

Her — October 2018

Roasted Veggies 12 servings

INGREDIENTS: 1 small butternut squash, cubed

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DIRECTIONS: Preheat oven to 475 degrees F. In a large bowl, mix vegetables and all other ingredients, toss to coat.

Spread evenly on a large roasting pan.

Roast for 35-40 minutes, stirRecipe adapted from: allrecipes.com

ring every 10 minutes, or until vegetables are golden brown and cooked through.

Nutrition Information: 123 calories, 2.4 grams fat, 20 g carbohydrates, 2 g protein, 13 mg sodium, 3.1 g fiber.

Other reliable information can be found on websites backed by research, such as choosemyplate.gov or cdc.gov.

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garyweaverforsheriff.com Her — October 2018

23

Dense Breast Tissue: The Perfect Storm Bruce F. Schroeder, M.D. Carolina Breast Imaging Specialists, PLLC

Mammography has come a long way since the 1980s when it

There are now 36 states with such laws and there is a push to make

was first proven to be the most effective screening tool for breast

this a national requirement. There are various versions of the law

cancer. Film (“analog”) mammography was a breakthrough at

but all require notification of women who have the two densest

the time but suffered limitations, especially in women with dense

classifications and suggest they consider additional testing. Some

breast tissue, finding just over 25% of the cancers. Digital mam-

states also require insurers to pay for 3D mammography and/

mography came along in 2000 and nearly doubled cancer detection

or any additional testing related to dense breasts (North Carolina

in women with dense breasts, reaching 54% in the landmark re-

does not require this).

search study of the era. 3D mammography further increases cancer

Determining which breast density category to assign to a mam-

detection, but still cannot detect all cancers in women with dense

mogram is fairly subjective. It is not uncommon to see the same

breast tissue. The issue is that breast cancer is white on a mammo-

patient receive different classifications from year to year or be-

gram but so is normal breast tissue. Finding breast cancer in dense

tween different interpreting radiologists. Use of new computerized

tissue is like finding a snowball in a blizzard.

density assessment software can eliminate this variability, leading

Dense tissue is very common in younger women (80% of women in their 20s) and decreases over a woman’s life, especially after menopause, so that it is less common in older women (20% of

to more accurate and reproducible results, especially since density is being used to advise patients to consider additional testing.

Women with dense breast tissue are told to consider a supple-

women in their 80s). On screening mammograms, the distribution

mental screening test such as MRI or Ultrasound. MRI is very

of density is fairly predictable with nearly 50% of women in the 2

expensive and except for states where payment is required it

densest categories.

can be hard to get insurance to pay for it. In addition, MRI is not

In addition to limiting cancer detection, dense breast tissue raises a woman’s risk of getting breast cancer. It isn’t clear why this happens, but it can raise the risk 4-6 times that of women with fatty tissue.

recommended for women with average or moderately increased breast cancer risk.

Screening breast ultrasound has been shown to find many of the breast cancers that are not seen on mammography in dense tissue

Dense Breast Tissue is “The Perfect Storm.” Dense breast tissue

and is recommended for all women with dense breast tissue. The

raises the risk of getting breast cancer while making it harder to

cancers found with screening ultrasound are typically small, early

find.

stage tumors that are the most curable. Insurance companies typi-

There is a growing trend nationwide requiring women to be notified if dense tissue is seen on their mammogram. In 2014,

cally cover screening ultrasound (but some will apply the payment to the deductible).

North Carolina became the 12th state in the nation to require this.

These breasts would be considered "non-dense" or "fatty"

Approximately 10% of women will have breasts that are almost entirely fatty

These breasts would be considered "dense"

40% of women will have scattered areas of fibroglandular density

40% will have heterogeneously dense breasts

10% will have extremely dense breasts

For more information on breast density go to https://cbispecialists.com/patients/breast-density/

24

Her — October 2018

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We are Pleased to Announce the Association of Brian H. Keogh, Jr., MD Dr. Brian H. Keogh, Jr. joins ECPC Pain Specialists as an Interventional Pain Specialist. Dr. Keogh will be working in Greenville, Goldsboro, Vidant Bertie and Vidant Chowan Hospital locations. Previously an Interventional Pain and Spine Management Physician in Greeley, Colorado, Dr. Keogh has extensive experience managing chronic pain.

Dr. Keogh graduated with a medical degree from the University of Colorado School of Medicine in Aurora, Colorado, and completed his Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation Residency at the Indiana University School of Medicine. He then completed a Fellowship in Pain Medicine at Emory University Hospital in Atlanta, Georgia.

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Her — October 2018

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OCTOBER EVENTS Inaugural Making Strides Against Breast Cancer of Northeastern North Carolina October 27, 2018 Town Common The first-ever Making Strides Against Breast Cancer is a 3-mile walk that is a powerful and inspiring opportunity to unite as a community to honor breast cancer survivors and raise awareness about steps we can take to reduce the risk of getting breast cancer.

Contact: Kendra Paiz – northeasternNCstrides@cancer.org

15th Annual Bunco for Breast Cancer Greenville Women's League October 18, 2018 6 – 9 p.m.

Rock Springs Center There will be a 50/50 raffle, dinner, Bunco games, and basket drawings! Proceeds will go to Gardeners for Hope.

12th Annual Ride for the Ribbon October 6, 2018 Eastern Radiologists 8:30 a.m. – 3 p.m.

2101 W. Arlington Blvd.

The 12th Annual Ride For the Ribbon motorcycle ride will begin at Eastern Radiologists Breast Imaging Center in Greenville.

Bikers will make stops in Washington and Kinston before returning to Greenville for prizes, music, health fair, food and more.

Registration is $30 and includes event t-shirt. 100% of net proceeds 26

are donated locally in Pitt, Lenoir and Beaufort Counties and benefit breast screening and early detection programs as well as breast cancer survivors.

Pullin' for Pink Assemble your team of 6 adults or 12 kids and compete to pull a fire engine 100 feet for time. Pullin' for Pink is held in conjunction with the annual Ride for the Ribbon, raising funds to support breast cancer screenings/early detection programs and provide assistance to breast cancer patients in Pitt, Beaufort & Lenoir Counties.

8th Annual Carter Williams Art Show & Fundraiser October 14 10 a.m. – 6 p.m.

Jaycee Park Center for Arts & Crafts 200 Cedar Lane, Greenville N.C. Proceeds benefit breast cancer research, education, and community outreach as well as participating artists. Since the beginning of this art show, more than 150 artists from across North Carolina have shown over 600 pieces of artwork, generating thousands of dollars in support of Avon Foundation for Women’s Breast Cancer Crusade.

11th Annual peace.love. pirates.cure October 3 10 – 7 p.m.

East Carolina University Student Recreation Center Cancer awareness event

Her — October 2018

The Easiest Place to Get Beer

is right next to the milk (One of the easiest places for kids to get alcohol is in your own kitchen. Take stock of your supply.)

Keep Alcohol Out of the Hands of Kids

Talk It Up. Lock It Up!

Fall in love with the new Scout Collection!

801 Red Banks Road Arlington Village 252-493-0000

Her — October 2018

Monday-Saturday 10-6 www.itssewwright.com

27

panel

D O YO U D O

H OW D O YO U

A N Y T H I N G TO

O F F E R YO U R

C E L E B R AT E

SUPPORT WHEN

N AT I O N A L

S O M E O N E YO U

B R E AS T CA N C E R

L OV E I S G O I N G

AWA R E N E S S

THROUGH AN

MONTH?

ILLNESS?

Ask if they need help with anything such as groceries or household chores, pray for them, just listening and be with them when they are feeling down or low.

–Susan May, 45, Tarboro

Wear my breast cancer tops and accessories, buy the Breast Cancer Awareness Ribbon bagels at Panera and attend the Breast Cancer Awareness event put on by Vidant Medical Center.

–Susan May, 45, Tarboro

By being a survivor, I offer humor, experience and compassion. I think surviving is largely in your head and how you view your future. Positive thoughts, positive energy and positive faith.

–Connie Moore Corey, 62, Greenville

I celebrate everyday! But with October being NBCAM I do a lot of prayer. I pray for thanksgiving, blessings, health, research and all my friends and family that have been touched by this disease.

–Connie Moore Corey, 62, Greenville

I lend an ear to listen and let them every opportunity that I get that they matter to me.

–Crystal Hildenbrand, 45, Greenville

Greenville Women’s League’s Bunco For Breast Cancer –Crystal Hildenbrand, 45, Greenville

I offer to help in anyway they need, whether it's a listening ear, shoulder to cry on or If they just need me to pray with them.

–Lucile Yoakum

Yes I support Breast cancer awareness month by wearing the Pink Ribbon.

–Lucile Yoakum

Prayer and just being there to listen.

–Susan Leggett, 59, Greenville Listening to their thoughts and showing support through handwriting cards Those are ways of letting them know you care and love them.

–Mary Dailey

I show support for National Breast Cancer Awareness Month by wearing pink in honor of the survivors!

–Mary Dailey

Her panel contributors

S U SA N L E G G E T T

28

Her — October 2018

S U SA N M AY

If you would like to be one of our panelists, email Mackenzie at mtewksbury@reflector.com.

W H AT D O YO U H O P E TO S E E IN CANCER RESEARCH IN THE FUTURE?

W H AT ARE SOME CHARITIES YO U A R E PA S S I O N AT E ABOUT?

Treatments that are easier on the patients bodies.

Chemotherapy and radiation has such terrible side effects and make the patients so sick.

–Susan May, 45, Tarboro

Marley’s Cat Tales (local group), St. Joseph’s Indian School, Wounded Warriors, World Wildlife Fund and National Wildlife Federation.

–Susan May, 45, Tarboro

Research has come so far, just since I was going through chemo. When I started my treatments, Zophran was the strongest nausea medicine on the market. Now they give it to pregnant moms.

I do feel there is a cure for this horrible disease.

The research is very expensive. The time trials and FDA approval take forever. I wish there was a way to shorten the process for approval.

–Connie Moore Corey, 62, Greenville

Relay for Life, UCP, Public Schools and Youth Baseball –Connie Moore Corey, 62, Greenville

A CURE –Crystal Hildenbrand, 45, Greenville

Boy's and Girl's Club, and American Red Cross –Lucile Yoakum

That all cancers will have a cure and that cancer will become extinct.

–Lucile Yoakum

Durham Rescue Mission and the Carolina Pregnancy Center –Susan Leggett, 59, Greenville

My mother died at age 65 from esophageal cancer so I would like to see more awareness and research in this area.

–Susan Leggett, 59, Greenville

American Lung Association, American Heart Association, Easter Seals and Disabled American Veterans.

–Lein Hou

Ideally, I’d hope for a cure for all cancers! I believe researchers are definitely moving in the right direction to help people diagnosed with cancer.

–Mary Dailey

Breast cancer awareness, fighting hunger –Mary Dailey

C R YS TA L HILDENBRAND

My dad died of cancer so I am very supportive of the American Cancer Society and actually participate in one of their CP3 Cancer Prevention Study.

–Crystal Hildenbrand, 45, Greenville

CO N N I E M O O R E CO R E Y

Her — October 2018

M A R Y DA I L E Y

29

advice

Don’t be a bully…”

The month of October is here ladies! We are in the last quarter for the year of 2018!

This year has moved fast! It has been exciting and I have experienced some big wins! It has been a great year thus far!

October is also one of those months that we pay attention to a lot of subjects like Domestic Violence, Breast Cancer Awareness, and National Bullying prevention. I want to focus this article on bullying because it is such a huge epidemic that is plaguing not only our school systems but also our political arenas, our neighborhoods, and some workplaces.

Bullying is such a bad thing because what it really shows is how sick a person is who chooses to be a bully. We have heard the saying: hurting people hurt people. In my time of professional growth, I have found this to be quite true. Most people who choose to be a bully have experienced some kind of negative situation that caused them to feel as though they have to retaliate somehow.

Unfortunately, because they do not have the “grit” or “guts” to confront their issues, they choose to hide behind a façade and try to 30

Her — October 2018

make the person that they are bullying feel less than because the bully ultimately feels less than. It’s complicated!

I want to encourage you this month to reach out to someone who has been traumatized by a bully. Again, this does not just impact school aged children…it also impacts those of us who are grown women. We must take charge and stand up for those who may not have the strength to stand for themselves. Do not just sit by and allow people to treat others any kind of way regardless of their title or position. Right is right and wrong is still wrong. Every person deserves to be treated with dignity and respect!

If you have found yourself struggling with bullying people, I would encourage you to get help. Here is what I know, if you sow bad seeds, you will reap a bad harvest…but if you can catch it in time, you may not lose your entire crop to the weeds. Let’s work on making a commitment to making “our world”—that is, the “world right around us” a better place…let’s replace hate with love and make people feel like they are valued.

Until next time, don’t be a bully!!!

We offer clients a strong work ethic combined with prompt and personalized client care.

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