Hot and happy

TUBBY HUBBY

Not th man I marrie

Was there any way back for my husband and me? Sarah Jones, 44, Cwmbran

Darren put on weight after his injury H urrying the kids upstairs, I turned to my husband Darren, then 46. As usual, he was sitting slumped in the armchair. Staring at the TV like a zombie, he had a glass of wine in one hand, a pack of sausage rolls in the other. ‘Are you coming?’ I asked him hopefully. ‘Later,’ he said to me, barely looking away from the screen. It was March 2015, and as I bathed our son Ieuan, then 6, and daughter Sophia, 3, my heart felt heavy. The truth was, my husband just wasn’t the man I married. I remembered how, just a year ago, Darren would wrestle with the kids until they were both crying with laughter. ‘It’s bedtime!’ I’d groan as they giggled, clinging to Darren. Now, he spent all evening in front of the TV, eating and drinking. I’d have given anything to have the old Darren back. When we first met, more than 20 years ago, we’d go to karaoke competitions in the pub. He’d always have to win first prize. Darren had worked as a personal trainer and thrived on exercise. He competed in marathons, could run them in under four hours. But, a year ago, disaster struck. While competing in an Ironman Triathlon, Darren ruptured a ligament in his left ankle. I’ll never forget his pained face as the kids and I cheered him through the finish line. ‘Complete rest,’ a doctor warned the next day at Nevill Hall Hospital, Abergavenny.

Darren spent the

He seemed to be spiralling into depression WORDS: FRANCES LEATE, LUCY NOTARANTONIO. PHOTOS: CATERS NEWS You should SEE HIM NOW next six months at home, with his foot in a cast. ‘I’m useless,’ he frowned. He seemed to be spiralling into a depression. He was drinking up to three bottles of wine a night and gorging on junk. A year after the accident, he was a size XXL and weighed 18st. He still hadn’t gone back to work, was living on savings. ‘How can I train other people like this?’ he groaned, devastated. As months passed, his mood deteriorated. ‘I want to get in the car and not come back,’ Darren said to me one night. I’d go to work as a financial adviser, terrified that he wouldn’t be there when I came home again. Darren was so full of self-loathing, he refused to go swimming with the kids. ‘No-one wants to see my disgusting body!’ he cried. I felt like a single mum, attending family gatherings and the kids’ school plays alone. I’d started to give up hope that the old Darren would ever come back to me. Then, one day in 2018, he couldn’t stop crying. ‘I need help,’ he wept. He’d hit rock bottom. Was there any way back..?

A NEW MAN

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Now... So happy, with the kids and me A fter doing some research, we got in touch with the mental-health charity Mind. ‘They’re offering therapy,’ I said to Darren. Darren knew he needed help and wanted to try it. And talking to someone really did seem to help him. He also went out for walks during the day. Slowly, his mood seemed to lift. He started picking the kids up from school, and cooking healthy meals in the evenings. ‘No more of this,’ he said a few weeks later, emptying a bottle of wine into the kitchen sink. As Darren slowly but surely started making progress, his 50th birthday was approaching. ‘You deserve to do something special,’ I said. He’d always wanted to skydive but we discovered that he couldn’t weigh any more than 15st to do so. ‘Challenge accepted,’ he grinned, his eyes sparkling with that old determination. Over the next months, Darren transformed his diet. Instead of eating chocolate and crisps, he cut out snacks completely. He ate plenty of protein, chicken and vegetables, and even went back to the gym. By April 2019, a few months after his birthday, he’d managed to slim down to 15st. ‘You look gorgeous!’ I told him, impressed. He not only looked like the old Darren, but he acted like him, too. Every evening, he’d play-fight with the kids like he’d done before. He’d help me with bedtime, as well. ‘Daddy’s back!’ Sophia squealed delightedly as they played. Days later, the kids and I watched proudly as Darren jumped from a plane at 12,000ft. Running up to us afterwards, his face was glowing. He looked so alive. ‘That was just brilliant!’ he cried,

Darren: I’m a lucky woman!

He’s the most amazing husband and father picking up the kids for a hug. And, after that, Darren decided he’d enter the UK Ultimate Physiques competition. It was a contest all about muscle definition and fitness. So he stepped up his training at the gym. ‘Lucky me!’ I grinned as Darren whipped off his T-shirt one night. He was so fit! Last October, Darren took to the stage and flexed his muscles for the judges –and came sixth. I was so proud! Darren weighs 12st 2lb now and is a size Medium. He looks incredible, but best of all, he’s so confident and positive. He’s the most amazing husband and father. As a personal trainer, he’s more motivated than ever. In the future, he hopes to hold free boot camps for people who are suffering with their mental health. Now, we’re sharing Darren’s story in the hope of breaking the silence surrounding men’s mental health. We want to inspire others to get help if they need it. There’s absolutely no shame in admitting that you’re struggling. I’m so glad Darren did. Because the real transformation in him is not his body. Yes, my hubby ’s hot now. But it means so much more that he’s happy. NEED HELP? For support dealing with mental-health issues, contact the Mind Infoline on 0300 123 3393.