I fought the

ood time

Amy Lightowler, 32 fro thought she’d never be able to be a mum…

Looking around the room whilst at my friend Mark’s house party, my eyes fixed on a familiar face. ‘Hey Amy, how are you?’ Mark beamed.

It was summer 2014 and I hadn’t seen him in years.

He was an old friend and I only really caught up with him when one of us organised a gettogether with everyone.

We had lots to catch up on and as the night went on, we didn’t stop talking. ‘What have you been up to?’ he asked me. ‘I’ve been living in London,’ I told him. ‘But I’ve had to move back home to my mum’s house now.’ Earlier that year, everything seemed to go wrong for me. I’d just bought a house with my long-term boyfriend and was working freelance in TV. Juggling the move and my job all at the same time, I was feeling incredibly stressed. I hadn’t had a period for nearly three months, but assumed it was down to everything that was going on. I went to my GP just to double check. ‘We’ll run some blood tests to be sure,’ the doctor said. I thought little more of it until my doctor called a few weeks later.

‘You’re going into early menopause,’ he explained, bluntly. I couldn’t believe it - time seemed to stand still.

‘What do you mean?’ I asked, trying to find the words. I was only 26. The doctor explained my FSH hormone levels were high, and my chances of having children were limited. I was heartbroken. By the time I rang my mum Gill, now 64, I was hysterical. ‘Calm down, it’s going to be OK’ she reassured.

But I couldn’t help it.

All I ever wanted to be was a mum, and the thought of that not happening was devastating.

To make matters worse, my relationship was only hanging on by a thread. My partner and I decided to call it quits, and I moved back to Bedfordshire with Mum. In the space of a few months, I’d lost my house, my relationship and my chances of having a baby. As Mark and I chatted away at the party, I told him everything. ‘Sounds like you’ve hada roughtime of it lately,’ he soothed.

He was so kind and understanding and from then on, we became inseparable.

Mark was exactly what I needed, and our friendship soon blossomed into something more.

Before long, he was joining me at all my hospital appointments with fertility doctors.

‘There’s only a one per cent chance you’ll have children naturally, but you could try IVF,’ the specialist explained.

‘If you’re going to try, it’s now or never.’

It was a lot to take in. Mark and I had only been together for a couple of months.

Most people in our situation would be

enjoying the honeymoon

stage, but we didn’t have that chance.

ButI knew Mark was the one and he felt the same.

‘Let’s do it,’ he encouraged.

With that, we started the process.

I wasn’t entitled to treatment on the NHS because I hadn’t fully gone through

menopause yet, so Mark and I had to pay ourselves.

Each month we made our way down to

the clinic and I was

scanned for eggs.

‘You don’t have any this month so we can’t try yet,’ I was told the first time.I heard the Being a mum was all I ever wanted We tried everything I couldn’t help but worry

Proud new parents

same thing every time we went. After months of scans, we both finally gave up.

We’d spent over £4000 and were feeling pretty drained from it all.

‘We’ll try something else,’ Mark said, gently.

My sister kindly volunteered to donate her eggs, but she didn’t have enough either.

‘I’m going to go down the natural route instead,’ I said to my mum.

‘I’ll be as healthy as I can.’ With that, I tried everything I could to give my eggs the best possible chance.

I didn’t eat meat, only ate organic food and was taking all sorts of supplements.

Wincing as I knocked back another wheatgrass drink, I never gave up hope.

Month after month, I kept taking pregnancy tests.

Each one was negative. ‘It’s never going to happen is it?’ I asked Mark, thoroughly depressed about it all.

‘It will,’ he’d say, trying to

Double trouble

REAL LIFE

reassure Althou wasn’t convinced.

But getting ready for work one morning in September 2017, I realised my period still hadn’t arrived.

Probably to do with the menopause again, I thought to myself.

I decided to take a pregnancy test just in case.

I had a bathroom cabinet full of them after all.

Only this time, the test looked different. Two blue lines. I couldn’t believe it. Grabbing my phone, I rang my mum straight away.

‘You won’t believe this,’ I said hysterically.

‘I’m pregnant!’ Mum rushed round as soon as she could.

‘Let’sget a test from the chemist, not one of the cheap ones you’ve got,’ she laughed. We jumped in the car and bought another, which confirmed the news. I was over We couldn’t believe it

the moon. Cooking Mark a meal that night, I handed him a gift box. ‘What’s this?’ he d, confused. pen it!’ I beamed.

opened the box, he found the positive test. ‘Is this a joke?’ he said, in complete shock.

‘No!’ I laughed, choking back happy tears.

We were both thrilled, but I couldn’t help but worry.

I’d wanted this for so long, I was terrified something would go wrong.

But as the months went on, everything seemed to b f A few days after my d my waters broke in the middle of the night and were rushed to hospita And after 32 hours o the triage ward, I’d got an infection.

It meant I couldn’t have the epidural I’d planned on and ended up having an emergency C-section.

The infection meant I had to be put to sleep, so I missed the birth entirely, but when I cam around, Mark was crad

Our little miracles

r baby boy. Despite the umatic th, I was totally in love. Zachery was 7lb 6oz and absolutely perfect.

Gazing at him, I felt as though I had to pinch myself. ‘I can’t believe he’s finally here,’ I smiled.

Once we brought him home, Zachery and I soon got into a routine and although motherhood had its challenges, I loved it.

As he neared 5 months, I started to think it was strange that I still hadn’t had a period. Had I finally gone into the menopause? Or could I be pregnant again? Surely not this time, I

Daddy’s helpers

thought to myself.

I took a test just to be on the safe side.

Positive! I couldn’t believe it. When Mark came home from work that afternoon, I couldn’t wait to tell him.

I’d put Zachery in a t-shirt and written the words ‘big bro’ across it.

‘What’s this t-shirt?’ Mark asked, pulling it straight so he could see what it said.

‘You’re joking?’ he asked. ‘Nope!’ I laughed. ‘I can’t believe it.’ ‘We’ll make it work,’ Mark said, hugging me tight.

This time round, we decided to find out what we were having and discovered we were expecting a little girl. ‘ ne of each!’ I cried. ater that year, we

omed our little girl, Theia b 6oz.

e completed our perfect e family and Mark and I ven got engaged.

After everything, I hought I’d never be a mum, but here I am with two beautiful babies.

My health is still a worry nd my condition means m at a higher risk of certain ncers, but despite it all, I dn’t be luckier. y little babies are a miracle e true!