Real Life Body shamed by strangers

BODY SHAME

Two women tell us about the abuse they’ve received – and how they’re rising above it

‘HE KNEW THAT THOSE NASTY THREATS WOULD REALLY INTIMIDATE ME’ Naomi Isted, 40, a TV presenter who lives in Essex, was on holiday in St Lucia when online trolls made vile comments about her. I booked a birthday holiday to St Lucia in February last year, determined to enter my fi fth decade with a bang. I felt really confi dent about turning 40 and, after the hard work I’d put in at the gym, thought I was looking toned and fi t. Then my world came crashing down.

On the day of my birthday, I was trolled for bikini pics and the comments were horrendous. ‘What a state she looks for 40,’ one snarled. ‘She needs a tummy tuck,’ blasted another. ‘Cottage-cheese bum,’ sniped someone else. I was devastated reading them, they were so vile. It felt like a physical shock.

My husband, Haydn, 46, a property developer, tried to reassure me. He was very protective and completely disgusted that people would say things like that to me. He told me I was in amazing shape and these people were just jealous idiots hiding behind their computer screens. But I started to question everything. It wasn’t that I thought I had a perfect body – I’ve got two kids, Fleur, 10, and Rocco, four – but I was happy thinking I was the best version of myself.

‘Am I seeing something diff erent to what everyone else is seeing?’ I asked myself, and went into a downward spiral, becoming increasingly paranoid.

I started to look for new cellulite treatments, research tummy tucks and did loads of Body Coach workouts. I’d had the odd comment on Instagram in the past, but this was another level – and no one had ever said anything to me in real life. It was mostly men. I think it’s jealousy. They’re trying to break people’s confi dence. Unhappy lives On another occasion, I even got death threats for an article I did about fl ying fi rst class. My husband was deleting emails that were coming through in the middle of the night. He was devastated and wanted to protect me because he knew those threats would really intimidate me and hurt my

feelings. Of course, I get supportive comments, too, but you zone in on the nastiness and the negativity. It’s taken me months to get over it. Now, I’m determined not to let these sad keyboard warriors break me. They must have unhappy lives if they’re hiding behind a computer screen saying horrible things. For the most part, I feel fi ne – but if I’m having a bad day, it’s hard not to let the doubts creep back in. ‘IT FELT LIKE A PHYSICAL SHOCK’

Naomi with husband Haydn and kids Fleur and Rocco

ED

Real Life

BY STRANGERS

Rezzy Ghadjar, 34, a

TV and radio presenter who lives in Essex, says strangers are rude about her size 10 feet. Nearly 18 months ago, I was on the Tube at around own it. In the end, it’s not something I can change and it’s silly wasting energy over it. Now, I paint my toenails and wear shoes that show my feet off . It’s easier to buy bigger shoes now than it was when I ‘ FELT EVERYONE LOOKING AT ME’ Almost half of adults have been body shamed, according to a survey*

8pm. It was summer and I had was younger – I go to Long Tall

a pretty pair of sandals on. A Sally or Cinderella Shoes – but

guy got on who’d clearly had I do feel self-conscious asking

a few drinks and I could see for my size. I think because

him looking down at my feet people have made a big deal

and then looking up at me. out of it in the past, it makes

Suddenly, he blurted out, me think it’s something

‘How big are your feet?!’ It was I should be embarrassed of.

awful. The carriage was really busy and I could feel everyone

Perfect match

looking at me. I bit my lip, My other half, who’s 31 and a

trying not to cry, but I was buyer for an online retailer, has

so humiliated. got size 11-12 feet,

I tried to tough it out – ‘I’m tall, so

‘SOCIAL

which is quite big for a guy.

if I had small feet I’d fall over,’ I retorted, and people in the carriage laughed NSING. *WW MEDIA IS TO BLAME’

When I fi rst said to him, ‘Oh I’ve got really big feet,’ he said, ‘You haven’t at all, mine are an

– but I wanted the world to swallow me up. This kind of abuse is unacceptable, but the truth is it’s getting worse.

I’ve thankfully never had any problem online, but when I go out to bars or clubbing it often happens. For some reason, people think it’s OK to come and tell me I have big feet. They don’t think about how it aff ects you inside. Women are more sympathetic but men can be very insensitive – and it’s never been a chat-up line, just rudeness.

At school, I was ‘the girl with big feet’ and I used to get jokes about the size of my ‘fl ippers’. I tried to hide them away in socks and trainers – but as I got older, I decided to embrace them. Slowly, I became less bothered about the comments and decided to 11 –we’re made for each other!’ But comments do hurt. I think social media is to blame.

People think it’s OK to be mean online, and that’s spilling over into real life. They have to remember they could really damage someone. Rezzy and her partner. ‘Made for each other!’