Issue 15: Facets of Love by CopyWrite Magazine

FALL 2019 \\ NO. 15

FIFTEEN

FACETS

INTERVIEWS W/

AR WESLEY // DIANA MORA // DANIELA VARELA MICHAEL “CAMEONE” CERDA // KENNITA HICKMAN // TAJH VIRGIL

CONTENTS

love from our editor

issue 15: facets of love

ex fabula stories: amanda clark & gregory chambers

platonic woes: interview w/ friends AR & Diana

genre: hyperrealistic art // tajh virgil

the process: connecting to the voice of your soul // kennita hickman

business and pleasure w/ daniela & michael

behind the image // “fashion” spread

love yourself (the campaign)

S o m e t i m e s t h e Wo r l d F e e l s To o B i g F o r M e 6"x6" Oil on Panel, 2019

A B O U T O U R F E AT U R E D C O V E R A R T I S T ––

A N D R E A G U Z Z E T TA W I S C O N S I N TO C A L I V I S UA L A R T I S T NEON AESTHETIC F O L LOW H E R @ A N D R E AG U Z Z E T TA R E A D M O R E A B O U T H E R O N PAG E 0 7

CONTRIBUTORS

E D I TO R - I N - C H I E F / L E X I S . B R U N S O N C O N T E N T E D I TO R / L AU R E N “ H O N E Y ” G R A N I E L A FA S H I O N E D I TO R / VATO V E R G A R A

JOURNALIST / CARRIE NONI MAHONE

& WE COULDN’T MAKE THIS ISSUE POSSIBLE WITHOUT / K E LV I N “ DAY N AG E ” C R O S S

ROSELLA JOSEPH

E X FA B U L A

DA N I E L A VA R E L A

A M A N DA C L A R K

M I C H A E L C E R DA

GREGORY CHAMBERS

K A R E N O L I VA P H OTO G R A P H Y

AR WESLEY

NICOLE ESCHE

DIANA MORA

I N VO K E M O D E L S

LOT U S VA L E N T I N E

I M A N I R AY

TA J H V I R G I L

N AT U R A L E B E AU T I F U L

S AW Y E R B OYC E

F E AT U R E D M O D E L S

K E N N I TA H I C K M A N

F E AT U R E D P E O P L E

TJ P O S TO N

F O R VA L I A M A D E W I T H & BY LO V E

CopyWrite Magazine Media & Design, LLC currently runs as a Milwaukee-based organization. All images are not licensed or owned by CopyWrite. For any questions regarding photos, future advertisements, future employment or any information about any featured artist, producers or creators, please contact us at copywrite.mke@gmail.com.

I S S U E

1 5

LOVE FROM OUR EDITOR.

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

“THE LOVE OF MY LIFE IS A BAD B*TCH NAMED DIRTY. . .” Those have been words of repetition in my life. I was taught from a young age that loving myself was more important than loving anybody else. Without any doubt in my mind I had always been the most important. I had always been maintaining myself, soothing Dirty’s ego (yall have heard that story), and rooting for #TeamLex since day one. However, it has not always been easy. Loving myself meant more than just saying the words. It meant accepting who I am inside and out unapologetically, flaws and all.

So when the theme of this issue came into the ether, I found myself re-evaluating what my true love story was. Not the love story that is curated for social media. Not the one that you share with your friends. Not the one that you modify for your family. Not the one that you can wrap up real nice like and slap on a bow. But the raw footage that you playback in your head that unearths your true passions, growth, self-care, and love in all its manifestations. The one that you stand by because it is worth its moments of destruction and its moments of repair, equally. There are not enough pages in this magazine to give you a play by play of how I got here. I only have enough room to tell you that I am here. To tell you how my love story is as unique as my DNA. Without loving myself first, I could never have come this far, and the quote I started with would always remain incomplete. I had to remember that just because others may disagree, may never experience, may hide in shame, or may broadcast for validation who they are, I don’t have to. The love of my life is the soul I am destined to be. This soul has many names and she lives beyond my physical form in the bonds that I have made, memories I will never forget, and the legacy I will leave. The love of my life is Sapiosexual, who has become a Demisexual being. The love of my life is a monogamous partner in a polygamous family structure that challenges social normalcy, with a strong need for matriarchy. The love of my life has created a new soul off of the strongest connection I have ever had with another human. That soul is our daughter, Valia East Kahlo Brunson-Hill, named as our honor of her worth and value, paying homage to the place that raised us, giving her the strength of a creative spirit that came before her, ending with the namesake of the men who made us. I don’t know how my love story ends. I would hope just like energy it will transfer into all the things that I have touched, created, and been a part of. I hope that it lingers within baby girl, so that she loves herself wholeheartedly and never has to question who she is or why she is. For #Her I will. For #Us I have. For #This it will always be. One love /Lexi

COUGAR SKULL (I'M YOUNGER THAN I LOOK) 6"x6" Oil on Panel, 2019 Andrea Guzzetta

INTRO

Love is a loaded word. It can be intoxicating, euphoric, paralyzing, toxic, passionate, comforting, destructive, inspiring, and unexplainable all at the same time. It's multifaceted characteristic lends itself to being an emotion that is not always fully elaborated on. Let's be honest, LOVE tends to get a bad rap for its stereotypical association with mindless vehemence (oooh look a big word LOL) and it's loud mouth cousin, lust. However, it comes with a sense of power that we can not ignore. A voice that is soulful in its intimacy, applauded in its celebrity, and longed for in its success. Issue Fifteen pays homage to the word in the ways we feel are the most beneficial to our people. The millennial. The melanated. The misunderstood. Here we will dote on acts of selflove (because you come first), patterns of the platonic (because everyone needs a friend), #RelationshipGoals (because some of yâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;all got the image f*cked up), growing/glowing in your truth, and other unconventional aspects of the famous four-letter word. We know you will find something in this issue that makes your heart flutter, makes your eyes water, or put that fire in your veins to search a little deeper for. . . Facets of Love . . . and what they mean to you. (as we always say) Love & All Things Urban, /CW

I'M FUN AT PARTIES 6"x6" Oil on Panel, 2019

ANDREA GUZZETTA ANDREA GUZZETTA is a Los Angeles based artist originally from Wisconsin. She graduated from the Milwaukee Institute of Art and Design with a degree in sculpture and currently works at Judson Studios as a stained glass painter and designer. Her distinct style blends the traditional techniques used in classical oil paintings with a neon aesthetic, as if Lisa Frank and Caravaggio had a love child. She uses her bold, cheery palette to explore themes of intimacy and vulnerability. Her belief is that each person holds within them their own tiny universe of experiences and beliefs, and she is most interested in exploring the depths of these human experiences through her work.

1 1 N O S A E

S m a l S y tor

toryt Live s

iste

e to l

; com elling

hare!

ven s n or e

SLAM DATES, venues & THEMES

SEPtEmbEr 18tH

dECEmbEr 12tH

anodyne coffee

mr. j’s lounge

‘Reunion’

‘vacation’

‘identity’

oCtobEr 10tH

janUary 24tH

marCH 20tH

‘signs’

spectacular

novEmbEr 6tH

fEbrUary 13tH

aPrIl 9tH

‘goodbyes’

freight 38 secret fabula

‘faith’

The Cooperage *noncompetitive

company brewing

Turner hall

‘middle school’

SUGAR MAPLE

marCH 12tH

*noncompetitive

velobahn coffee

‘maps’

*noncompetitive

garfield’s 502

‘afterdark’

novEmbEr 17tH

fEbrUary 18tH

lakefront brewery

times cinema

all ages 1pm event

‘food’

‘in my mind’

may 22nd

Turner hall all stars

‘imposter’

*noncompetitive

DOORS @ 6:30PM STORIES @ 7:30PM

PUrCHaSE tICKEtS @ ExfabUla.org/tICKEtS CONNECTING MILWAUKEE THROUGH REAL STORIES. follow us on all social media! @exfabula

AMANDA CLARK High school graduate, college dropout, felon, old, and inexperienced; all labels given to me by society that I allowed to limit my potential. Since my conviction my only experience had been in the manufacturing industry. With few options left, I knew I wanted to be doing more. My passion was in working with youth. Feeling like I reached the cap of my growth at my current factory job, I decided it was time for me to retake charge of my life. I attempted to re-enroll in college, but was told three of my student loans were in default. I started to feel hopeless, and then my partner told me about Public Allies, and that I would be a great fit for it. I applied immediately. The next day my interview was confirmed and the preparation to move from a job to a career had begun. I quit my job. I hadn’t seen the list of potential partner organizations, let alone interviewed. I was risking it all and as I now know “TRUSTING THE PROCESS”. I made it through the initial interview and was notified that I was a finalist. I cried tears of joy. I arrived at the office and was escorted to a room full of other finalists and almost left immediately. They were younger, more vibrant, and most of them appeared to be fresh out of college. Then there was me. At least 10 years older than half the room. Competing for a spot. A chance to prove myself. A chance to show the world what I could do. And I did it. There I was. A Public Ally of Milwaukee’s 25th class. Serving for an amazing organization, Community Advocates Public Policy Institute. Promoting positive youth development and resilience in the neighborhood of 53206, supporting youth and families to thrive. The atmosphere Public Allies offered me allowed me to dig deep within and be my best me. When I started this journey I used to think about what my life would’ve been like had I found Public Allies when I was 24; but over time I realized that it found me when I was ready. Life since Public Allies has been nothing short of amazing. I feel like I’m living in my true purpose, as a professional but most importantly as a person. “You will write me off. You will not give me my due. You will classify me a failure. You will say that I was a fool. You will call me mediocre. You will call me a person who had no talents. And all these are mere labels. Nothing will matter to me. But what will matter is that the future generations will read my words and get inspired to keep up their struggle. The struggle to chase your dreams. The struggle to never give up on your dreams! And I may be hailed as a hero by the next generation. That is all that will matter!” Avijeet Das

FROM THE STAGE TO THE PAGE

GREGORY CHAMBERS WHERE THE LIGHT ENTERS: REFLECTIONS ON HEALING It seems like just a few days ago I was recovering from an anxiety attack that led to me been diagnosed with cardiomyopathy (Broken Heart Syndrome). The episode was brought on from dealing with the distress I was experiencing after filing for divorce from my then wife of 6 years, and it left me in darkness feeling that there was no hope of repair. It’s been over a year now and interesting enough where I am now based on where I was then, the difference is almost miraculous. There was so much turmoil and in moments like that, it’s completely difficult to imagine being at ground zero and being able to rebuild after such destruction. Ravaged remains lay around you, as you stand looking at a fragmented image of yourself seeming irrevocably broken. To you, it’s the darkest you have seen, and the wound seems to just be bleeding out with no hope of stopping. This was me over a year ago and would have been me still had I not realized that my healing was not only up to me but also in my control. In that moment of darkness, I had to not only want to be healed, I had to choose to heal and there were some steps that I had to take in order to allow growth and renewed vitality to manifest. Healing had to be intentional with everything I did, and it had to come at the expense of who I used to be. “THE WOUND IS THE PLACE WHERE THE LIGHT ENTERS YOU” – RUMI Healing was never about forgetting what happened between my ex-wife and I, but about being at peace with what occurred. Attempting to stand amongst the ravaged remains of my old life and begin to rebuild piece by piece. Setting up new foundations rooted in love for what I was and reinforcing new pillars for what I was to become. I had to deal with what was in front of me and address what would soon be behind me. What’s important to remember though is that healing is not a linear task that has a beginning middle and end. There are periods where you will be transported back to that moment that was so devastating and it’s easy to relapse, to be angry with yourself and feel that you didn’t make any progress. Many days I wondered how I would get through each day with my sanity intact. Each day was a different struggle and many ways that’s the healing process. Every day I had to uncover a new part of myself that was affected because I was surprised how deep it really went. What I continue to learn and continue to implement during my continued healing is that even when you think you have reached that point where everything seems fine, the pain seems like a lifetime ago, you can potentially find a part of the wound where the light hasn’t entered yet. A shadowed spot so to speak and itself is the human experiencing in essence. Finding those darkened areas of ourselves that we need to let the light enter, and upon entrance, healing can begin. Namaste!

Ex Fabula is thrilled to partner with CopyWrite Magazine. This partnership will combine different forms of expression and produce a space for community members’ true, personal stories in written and visual form. By connecting the stage to the page, both Ex Fabula and CopyWrite will reach new audiences, connect with new storytellers, and build community.

PLATONIC INTERVIEW W/ FRIENDS AR & DIANA

WOES

MUSIC AND POETRY

PLA·TON·IC: adjective

Your friends should inspire you. They should challenge you, they should support you, and they should make you think. AR Wesley (rapper/songwriter) and Diana Mora (writer/poet) are friends who do just that. The female-male PLATONIC duo is using their creativity to express love lost and self-growth. Through their own unconventional practices of self-exploration they have inspired each other to dig a little deeper, creating a spontaneous collaboration

1. (of love or friendship) where both of their most recent projects feed off of each other into what we would like to call “cross-inspirational-promo”. Diana’s book, Unbitter and intimate and AR’s song “Models”, are a similar beast. Two types of expression from two affectionate different people with similar motifs. CopyWrite sat down with the two of them but not sexual. to see how their creative friendship works, how love stories are not always pretty, and what it really means for a male & female to be strictly friends. CW: "There has been something you have wanted to get off your chest. So what are we here to discuss?" DM: “Hmmm. Different forms of art. Also how you can express yourself and feel liberated.” For Diana that expression comes through poetry and writing. For AR it comes in the form of music, which also takes shape in writing lyrics. CW: "Why write?" DM: "Why do I write? Um, to keep from killing people”. She said with a facetious face. “To keep from killing myself. I write to deal with my emotions instead of trying to suppress them with other forms that are not healthy.” AR: “Why do I do music? The most honest answer I can give you is [me] selfishly having to get a lot off my chest. It just so happens that that is the way I express myself . . . it's really dope that it does help people. I have had people tell me how certain songs have perfected them and how certain performances have affected them. So, yeah. That whole thing.” The modesty of these two. *Deep eye roll* But actually though, while their methods of expression are self-soothing, they are also quite therapeutic for each other. Each admits to being inspired by each other. DM: “I wanted to do our interview together personally because AR is one of my biggest inspirations. With him being a male I think people will find that kind of odd. Like, ‘why is she inspired by a male?’. There are of course female artist in Milwaukee that I have looked up to . . . but I just listen to his music and it has gotten me through some times. Really if it wasn’t for AR, I probably would not have wrote.” AR: “Wow!” CW: “Did you know that?” AR: “Naw, this is just coming out now.” He said with a shocked but happy face. “I feel so bashful right now.” 12

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CW: “How does that make you feel?” AR: “Nervous. Pressure. . . When I hear something like that it's like a pressure to keep that going. But at the same time, that’s another thing that drives us as artists. Having that pressure and being able to deal with it. When I hear that it inspires me as well though. It makes me want to create something beautiful.” DM: “I think it pushes you to go more because you know you have people counting on you. You know you have people who are listening. . .” AR: “I write music and I rap. People do different things that they are good at. I don’t think I could ever write a book [like you]. So that’s like even your book could inspire somebody who swims or something like that. You being great at what you do and you telling me you see what I’m doing, just makes you want to be great. That’s sort of dope.” Yes indeed. Feeding off of greatness, is a winners game. To celebrate and to appreciate someone’s talent, to want to explore your own skills more and be inspired, creates positive energy in the cosmos. That's a good look. The two have been friends since 2015. Their relationship started off as business-related. They met through an artist they mutually knew and that Diana had directed a video for. AR liked her work and asked if she would direct his video “MidWest Coastin’” as well. DM: “We clicked from there. I think what I have always liked about AR is that he has always been respectable. I have worked with a few other male artists and they were not respectable to some of the other women that I was bringing around. They were kind of manish or whatever but he was always like ‘Ladies first. If the ladies are not comfortable then we are not doing it’. . . He has always been a gentleman and that’s what sparked the bond right there.” AR: “In the same way I was concerned about women being comfortable in my videos, I really needed someone [there] who could help them feel that. You know because sometimes that be hard because I’m a man. I have a man energy. It’s different when it’s coming from a woman who is like, ‘I got you’. Diana is so good at that. That’s when I started to notice like yeah we work good together.” WITH THAT BOND COMES TRUST. Trust reveals itself in several ways. One way that brings AR and Diana together is sharing.

MUSIC AND POETRY

AR: “I always let Diana hear my music before I drop it. I let her hear my next project that I’m coming out with. It’s currently going through a phase of titles by now. But I can say it’s done and it’s coming out next month.” (So by the time you read this it should be out). “But she heard the song ‘Models’, and she was like ‘I'm done with the book, and this song fits exactly what I was feeling and the vibe I am going for with that’. So I’m like ‘Yo, you can just have that and let’s just build it from there’.” It was almost like fate for Diana to hear that song. She had been looking all over for a song to help her promote her book with, but no other artist quite had what she was looking for. DM: “It’s so dope because of the subliminal messaging in that song. You think he is just talking about models but I feel like in the song he is talking about women [in general]. Like just women and how we can be toxic to men. I feel like with my book, yeah I’m bashing my men, my ex and what he did to me. But at the same time I was toxic as f*ck too. So when I heard that song I was like, ‘Dang. This is what my ex was feeling . . . I was toxic’. I sat there with myself and was like AR inspired me again. Let me back it up. Let me look in the mirror. Let me look at myself. Let me look at my flaws too.” That’s right . . . WOMEN CAN BE TOXIC TOO! It’s important to note that even when someone harms us, mentally and emotionally, we can still be guilty of similar behavior. Our hurt does not cancel out our faults. We still have to be accountable for our own misdoings. CW: “That’s really big for a woman to say. All too often we claim we didn’t do anything. But taking that accountability that both people in the relationship can be destructive is a major change in the climate of gender equality.” AR: “I feel like every relationship you were previously in you did some sh*t, they did some sh*t, sh*t hit the fan and got everywhere. You’re right though. When you are first meeting somebody they always say ‘my ex did this, that, and the third’. I think what this conversation is going to make me do now is ask, what did you do? How can you be better in your next relationship? I think that’s a good question. Oh yeah! I’m learning today. This is dope.” (See that’s what a CW interview does to ya’. It makes you think). Diana’s book Unbitter, is the second instalment of her poetry trilogy. This personal and therapeutic expression is a karmatic deep dive into Diana’s past where she tells an unorthodox story on how she broke away from an 14

MUSIC AND POETRY

emotionally abusive (toxic) relationship, went on a path of shedding him by reexploring sexuality, and becoming reborn in her womanhood. She breaks down the book by giving you her recipe for making tea (because you will need some to sip on so you can ingest her no holds bar descriptions of intimate spaces), and asks you to make it while she makes you rethink what love and self love looks like. The content plays into the one-sidedness of promiscuity and questions gender roles as the feed into the normalcy of our society. It’s sultry, raw, heart wrenching, and liberating all in one. So how does AR’s song fit that motif? AR: “One of my favorite songs is ‘Dirty Diana’ by Micheal Jackson. I have tried to re-create that song multiple times. This is just my latest re-creation of it . . . Me trying to love and love my carrier [this] is what happens. Things can kind of get in the way. People can see that you’re happy and try to interfere. In the song I’m kind of battling, do I do it or do I not do it? You know it’s like, ‘I got somebody at home. They’re perfect. But right now, you’re perfect’. So it’s do I fuck up those moments for this moment? Because this could be a once in a lifetime moment. It’s me at a tug of war trying to convince myself not to do something that may be [wrong].” He further expressed that when you are challenged by situations like that, you have to live with your choice. Sometimes we have to learn from our actions and hope we make a better decision the next time, but still, next time you may think the same action is worth it. Every situation is different. But you hope love wins. Both AR and Diana describe the album as a “For Her” project. One that women will be able to connect with through the lens of a man. Similar to Diana’s book, the music includes heartbreak and soul searching in a very rare and raw form.

Diana points out that the music refrains from talking about the female offender as a B*tch or a Hoe, but instead reveals the sentiments through a person who is grieving that love, which is not common in rap music. We actually, got to exclusively preview a few of the tracks. To us it speaks on how women can abuse their power in scenarios, manipulate with and without warning, which can leave a trail of destruction behind. But it also reveals how a man can really fall deep. AR: “Okay, I’m going to give you the inside scoop on partially why I wrote this album . . . I was in a relationship when all of this happened. I found out my vocal cords where messed up and had to get the surgery. There was a possibility that I couldn’t speak let alone ever rap again. The surgery went well but they had me on all types of medicine. I reacted bad to the medicine and it shut down my kidneys. Because my kidneys failed, it caused [massive] dehydration . . . So I keep on going back and forth to the hospital. During that time my ex [who was my girlfriend at the time] did some questionable things and we broke up.” (Yeeshhhhhh! Have you no shame women???) AR: “I mean I guess she had her reasons. So it’s me having to do a comeback from all that. Learning how to take care of my body. . .” CW: “That’s really life-changing. With something like that happening and that being your craft.” AR: “I have been through some scary things in my life but that was by far the scariest thing I have ever experienced. I’m like G’ I have not just spent the last four or five years of my life vigorously just chasing this to lose my voice. Like, that’s what happened?” He said in humorous disbelief.

MUSIC AND POETRY

Where AR’s project was sparked by a breakup, Diana’s is on a similar train. There is no mild way to say this so we will just say it. Diana finally broke after her ex set her dog on fire. . . DM: “That sent me into survival mode. I couldn’t get past that. That is something that I was reliving [in my mind] every day. That’s something innocent. Seeing something innocent be tortured like that is life-changing. So I ended up leaving. It could have been me next. It could have been my daughter next. So I got my sh*t together and I left.” She claims that still, even after leaving, she wasn’t healing, and was blaming herself for what happened. It was not until she began to write about what happened and her true emotions that she began to find some clarity. DM: “I started to dig into my past about reasons why I chose the type of men that I chose, that were abusive. So I started to put all these poems together and then they became books. It started off with me really wanting to dis him because he hurt my feelings but then I realized I was healing myself.” Even though the experience was traumatic she now has a positive outlook on the series of events. Diana says that if it had never happened she would not have found her voice and independence, which is something we all should have. AR: “I think the moral of this story is don’t hurt an artist. You will be displayed!” (True Story Bruh!) CW: “So what we are hearing is that both of you have had some experiences that have created a lot of pain. Both of you have found some inspiration in each other which is dope. You have also expressed a friendship and a respect

for each other. Many people believe that men and women can not be friends without there being some kind of sexual tension, sexual relationship, or some type of intention. What do you guys think about that?” DM: “I think for anybody to be friends there has to be an initial attraction. There has to be something you like about that person. It could be the way they talk or the way they dress, their personality . . . that’s what sparks the friendship. It’s what you do after that attraction that matters.” She believes that the ball is actually in the female’s court when it comes to play. The woman sets the boundary line and if a male truly respects their friendship then he won’t ever feel the need or desire to cross it. AR: “I think it’s how it starts and how it’s built. You know the difference between if somebody is looking at you like they like you versus them feeling like a sis . . . There are so many unwritten rules that go into a relationship period, with anybody. I do have a lot of female friends, who I have never thought about sleeping with.” He delivers that same message in his song when he says, “You know they pretty but we don’t be f*ckin’ the models”. AR: “It’s to try to put out the thought like, yo you can’t just look at somebody who is beautiful and automatically be like I wanna fuck”. [There is way more to it than that]. “I WANT MEN TO BE LESS THIRSTY AND MORE PLAYER ABOUT IT . . . THAT’S WAY MORE ATTRACTIVE.” - AR DM: “I think we also get lost in remembering that guys are good friends. They have point of views that females can’t. That’s the main thing. I will call AR in a second and be like ‘This dude just did this. What do I do next?’ because I don’t know how to react to certain things.”

CW: “Does it work vice versa? Does it give insight?” AR: “Absolutely. I think it’s the rawness of it too. If you have a brother or a sister, whether it’s your family or somebody you consider your family, you can ask them a hard question and get a really raw answer from them. Even if it’s like, ‘Do you think this person doing this and this and this is just trying to sleep with me?’ and then that person can be like, ‘Yeah! Because that’s what I would do!’ So they can give you that answer.” DM: “I know for me as a woman my guy friends have set the standard of what I want my partner to be like. I have guy friends who treat women with the upmost respect so I don’t want a spouse that’s not going to give me that same respect. Especially coming from a home without a daddy, I didn’t have any standards for a man and I was just accepting whatever.” CW: “So how did you become so respectable as a man AR. Was it how you were raised, was it trial and error?” AR: “A mixture of both. My father was definitely in my life but I didn’t live with him . . . I lived with my mom and my aunty. Seeing a lot that they went through and seeing what there friends went through . . . I saw women fighting their men. Hell, I have helped fight my aunty over here’s man . . .” DM: “You just didn’t want to be that man.” AR: “Yeaaaaaaaaaah! I always thought that was lame. I really think it’s lame to do something to somebody and they can’t do it back to you in the same way. I mean it’s been a mixture like I said. I have definitely been an a** hole before. I used to be the guy who wanted to have the finest girl in the room and if I find somebody who is finer than the person that I’m with, I’ma try to get with them.”

MUSIC AND POETRY

CW: “If that’s the case you are always going to be leaving. There is always going to be somebody finer!” AR: “Exactly! Then some shit happens to you and it’s like, ‘Damn! This is how this feels? My bad.’ Ya’ know, so now I feel it. So like the situation that happened was not the first time [I had my heart broken], it was just the most recent.” CW: “Diana do you feel that way about not having your daddy in the house? Did that kind of send you searching for something?" DM: “Yes. It’s the same sad story. A lot of girls have that story where you don’t have daddy’s love at home so you go searching for the first person who will give it to you. The first taste I got of a dude showing me love and affection, and I never had it before, I just took it. And it was probably the worst thing because when you have never been loved by a man before you can misinterpret what true love really is.” CW: “Now let’s get down to it. I have read your book and it is not for the faint of heart. What do you feel about the perspective of you being promiscuous, a hoe, a slut, or whatever people might label it? What do you say to a person that is close-minded and doesn’t understand the journey and where you are at now? Not that you have to defend yourself but what is there to be said” “FREEDOM IS DOING WHAT YOU WANT AND I WANT TO BE FREE. I TAKE THOSE LABELS AT ALL COSTS. I’M OKAY WITH IT. I’M THE ONE DEALING WITH IT.” - DIANA DM: “For ten years of my life I was locked up under a n*gga. Four years before that I was locked up under another n*gga. Before that I was locked up under my momma. I want to be able to do what I want. I will take those labels if it comes with it.”

AR: “I feel like they should try it themselves. If you feel so crazy about somebody being a hoe, maybe you should just go try ho’in and see if maybe you might like it.” He smiled hard as if he was giving an infomercial while Diana nodded her head in laughter and approval. Though AR sounds like a send-off, he has a point. Often we stop ourselves from acting on our truest emotions because we are scared what other people might think. We also tend to cast judgement on people who are willing to take the risk we are to afraid of exploring. Being open and honest with yourself and others is the key. When we asked the two of them if there was anything else that they wanted us to to take from their projects and their stories they were reluctant to speak, searching for any intimate thought they had yet shared. But then . . . AR: “I’ma say it. You know what I want them to do? Play it for my Ex.” DM: “Haha I will send it to her!” AR: “You know what, that might be the name of the album!” (We hoped it would be so we could get the exclusive, but a few weeks after the interview he decided on the title Floral.) AR: “No but really the thing I want people to do is to strive to always be better than you are.” Diana and AR make a good team. A platonic one. A creative one. One that proves that lows make good stories, and inspiration from others may help you really discover who you are. /CW

genre:

H Y P E R R E A L I ST I C A R T

INTERVEIW W/ tajH virgil

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Every interview we do for CopyWrite is important to us but sitting down with Tajh Virgil just feels extra special because I feel like I’ve watched him grow up right before my eyes. It seems like just yesterday we were in our freshman math class at Rufus King *wipes tears* LOL. But for real, I was super geeked to be able to speak with him as he has been blowing up in the music scene! If you haven’t heard of him yet, (I mean where have you been?) you definitely need to put him on your radar, add him to your playlist, follow him on the Gram . . . alladat! With great things coming, and some life lessons learned, he gave us the scoop on his album Paradigm, self-care, family, L.O.V.E. and more. CW: “What made you want to start music in the first place?” TV: “I used to walk around the house just singing all the time and my mom was like ‘Shut up!’ [LOL] but I couldn’t help it. I just knew it was always something I wanted to do.” CW: “So were you a singer first?” TV: “Yeah I was a singer first. I couldn’t even listen to rap.” CW: “But with your songs though, it seems like you do both—sing and rap. So what made you want to start rapping too?” TV: “Well that's where my Dad came in because he was the rapper. Him and my cousins were always rapping at the studio together. Which actually was our freshman year [of HS in 2009]. That was when I started making my own songs.” CW: “When did you decide to start putting your music out there for everyone to listen to?” TV: “We started putting music out here and there when I first started recording, but I started taking it serious serious when I knew I wasn’t going to be going to UWM anymore. I was like okay, I think I want to take this all the way there. I just knew college was something I didn’t want to do at the moment, so I said I might as well put all this effort and energy into myself.” It wasn't until 2013 when he started to really make his music public. He used that four year period to find himself, even though he claims that finding himself is still a part of his current journey. Tajh had always been on mixtapes when he first started doing music, they just weren’t singles like he puts out now. It was more of a group thing with his brothers and cousins. Tajh’s story, of how heavily musically inclined his family is, reminds us of the Latimore Brothers. That’s how many artists start—in the family until you find your own niche and figure out what you want to do. CW: “What were some things you knew you had to do to get your music out there as far as marketing?” TV: “The crazy thing is, I knew a lot of people. But once I started putting out music, I noticed how small the amount of people I knew was. I was like, wow,

I gotta know more people. So I consistently started networking and talking to people. Small conversations go a long way I found out. Even if people do know you, just talking to them like ‘have you heard this?’ helps, because people watch you and see what you do sometimes, but if they’re not interested, you have to make them interested.” CW: “I feel like it’s your personality too. Because you’re very nice to everybody you come across so that makes people want to listen to you and rock with you too.” TV: “And that’s what helped me out from the beginning I would say. Everybody was like, ‘Aw he cool, so let me just check out what he do’.” CW: “It’s also the way you carry yourself and your team behind you. Whoever is around you makes you look good.” TV: “I just always make myself approachable. I don’t make no bad vibes with anybody. I’m just doing me, you know?” People in Milwaukee mostly stick to their own sections of where they’re at, where they do shows and talk to people, but not Tajh. Even from the beginning, I remember him doing shows on the south side, just spreading out to different places. No matter how many people were there, he was like, “I’m going to get this crowd.

I’m going to get all of these people here to know me.” He would perform in different cities all the time too, so I’m sure that really helped increase his range as well. CW: “As far as your lyrics in your music, you write all of it yourself?” TV: “Yup!” CW: “Okay cool, so I wanna bring up your song ‘Trust Issues’. With that song, what made you write it? Where were you at mentally? Emotionally? Like, what was going on Tajh?” TV: “Craziest thing is, like not even lying, I just felt like it was time for me to put something else out. Whether it was me in that situation or someone I know, it’s easy for me because I do acting too, so I can just put myself in somebody else's shoes. That’s exactly how it came about. I was sitting there listening to the beat one time and it was history.” CW: “You were in the studio like, ‘Okay, I remember my homie so and so said this about shorty over here, let me write it down?’ haha.” TV: “Yeah I ain’t gone name drop or nothing haha, but nah, I mean, I went through a similar situation so it was easy for me to relate. And when I make any one of my songs, I just want it to be relatable to somebody. And when you just listen to it, it just flows. I storytell.” CW: “Do you feel like you have trust issues?” TV: “Nahhh I don’t have trust issues. Not anymore. I’m a changed man.”

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CW: “What changed you?” TV: “I just moved on. ‘Trust Issues’, to me, I was relating back to my childish ways. Being this lover boy to an extent. It’s a real-world out here. It’s bigger stuff to worry about. So I’m like . . . love is a good thing, you know what I’m sayin’? It’s gonna come back around.” CW: “It sounds like you reached a point where you’re like I’m not even going to give this my energy.” TV: “Exactly, that’s more of what it was for me, you know. I’m a big lover so. . .” CW: “Yeah, let’s talk about your loverboy side, Tajh [LOL]. What’s going on with your love life?” TV: “Uhh, I don’t speak too much on that [LMAO] but you know, I’m doing my thang.”

. . . NOW Y’ALL KNOW WE STILL HAD TO INVESTIGATE THIS ONE! LOL CW: “Well, are you in a relationship right now?” *eyes emoji* TV: “Yes, I’m in a relationship right now.” This was actually shocking since Tajh is sooo lowkey with it. (Even though that is completely understandable). CW: “So, between your last relationship and the one you have now, was there a big gap in between?” TV: “Aw yeah. It was a big gap. . . Yeah, really just focusing on myself and trying to get to where I need to be. That was my main goal I feel like—if I’m in a good spot, whoever else gone be compatible is going to be in a good spot too.”

hear something that will create a spark in them if it relates to them like, ‘Oh wow’ or ‘I never thought about this like this’ so they can work on themselves because that’s deep. We lose a lot of people to mental illnesses.” CW: “Do you feel like social media took a toll on your mental health?” TV: “It was rare but If I saw too many artists that people would say are ‘on’, it would affect me sometimes, but it’s quick to just flip out of that for me because I worked on it. What they got is for them and what God got for me is for me, and that’s how I always think about it. If I want that I just have to go out and get it.” CW: “What made you go towards bettering yourself? Because It’s not something that’s talked about. So what made you take that step to start meditating and getting a hold of what was going on?” TV: “Affirmations. Doing more research and stuff. . . Well, okay so we can talk about Paradigm now too. So Paradigm is really just your way of life, what you put inside, like your mindset is what your reality is going to become. So if you’re always at a low mindset frequency wave, that’s what you’re going to attract. In order to change that, you can’t be low. And I feel like me being low just made me want to change that. I wanted to be in a different spot physically and mentally, in order to elevate.” Tajh dropped his first album Paradigm in 2018. He said it was an accident how the whole thing came about. At first, the titles of every song was supposed to be a sentence. So the name of every song was supposed to be a word or a phrase, so when you read it

Yasss! That’s what we like to hear. Focusing on self to be a better you! But bettering yourself comes with layers. Layers that we don’t often discuss. When we asked Tajh as a Black man in today’s society about the mental health component of self-care, he had a lot to say. TV: “It’s huge. There was a point in my life where I felt like that was an issue for me. That’s actually how I made ‘The Man’ [song]. I was at my lowest point mentally. There were a lot of events that occurred that were back to back and I’m like ‘Yo, something’s gotta change. . .’ Then I started working on my mental daily. I started meditating. I still try to meditate. I stick to it maybe three or four days out of the week. I’ll get up super early, like 5 or 6 and meditate for like 30 minutes. A lot of people don’t talk about it, but when you do, you just understand people. You’ll see other people going through something similar to what you’re going through. You know, just be able to help people. And that’s what I feel like I want to do mainly in my music. Attack the mental. Consciously or subconsciously if they’re paying attention, somebody is going to 22

from top to bottom it all goes together. Then he couldn’t find the right beats he wanted because he was going to do a pop album. He had some stuff in store for a pop album, which is why he did songs like "Love Proof", "Track Meet", and ‘You’re Mine’. Pretty much it was a combination of things (working and not working) that helped him create his sound for the album.

the ones [cousins] I was telling you about when we used to do a lot of music together. They were almost 10 years older than me and my brothers and cousins, but that’s how we bridged the gap between us. We were all just doing music together. The last one would have to be ‘Blue Hearts’ that I did with the MT Twinz. That’s a nice smooth vibe too.”

CW: “Speaking of your sound, how would you describe it? Who influenced you?” TV: “Just my favorite rappers. I took bits and pieces of what I think they did well and did it in my own way. I was always singing and I was already rapping. I used to do poetry too so I knew how it was supposed to go. I figured why not try to master both of them? I felt like it was something we haven’t really heard before too much. Yeah we had Drake to an extent, but I feel like I had really good vocals that I felt like I could master so then I put both of them together.”

CW: “How did you find your team?” TV: “The main circle is small, it’s literally my family. They just make sure I always make the right decisions. Everything else outside of that, we handle stuff together sometimes, but I’m always motivated to push myself and that’s what keeps me doing the little things that matter.”

CW: “Who are your inspirations?” TV: “Big Sean, I see myself in him a lot. Just where he’s headed and then where he’s at now. He’s always a big inspiration to me. Drake, Jay Z, Kanye. I used to listen to a lot of Jamie Foxx. Just different people. It might not have been like listening to all of their music, but a lot of them I just listen to like certain songs that I like and studied those sounds.” (We love that lineup because many people are sleeping on Big Sean and Jamie Foxx . . . just sayin’!) CW: “Why should we listen to you?” TV: “I put out a good vibe. Whether it’s motivational like ‘Trust issues’ that’s a different type of vibe, but everything is relatable. If you want something you can relate to, you’re gonna just start vibing to it as soon as you hear it. The sound is amazing, not even just to say it because it’s me. But I like melodic flows and stuff that catches my ear so I know it’ll catch other people’s ear. Just the messages that I put out period.” CW: “What are some of your favorite collaborations you’ve done so far? You can’t say all of them [LOL]. But if you could name like your top three, what would they be?” TV: “‘Flexing’ because it was more towards what I was going for at the moment with trap rap and singing too a little bit. But it was one of my favorite songs mixed so you can really feel that song. ‘Love Proof’ is another good one because it’s talking about a lover in a good way. It was actually one of my first ones as my new sound so that was pretty cool. A new one I just did, ‘Secret Bae’, that one was pretty dope, just the storytelling I did in that one was pretty amazing for me to put myself in that predicament. And then ‘Real Ones’ because that was one of the songs I did with one of my cousins who I used to rap with before. He had just got released from jail so that was really exciting for me to get back into the studio with him and get him back moving. That’s

If you can't already tell, Tajh has a super big family with plenty brothers. It’s good to see a Black family being close with one another and having each other’s back. He said they are always tough on each other, which is a good thing because it helps him as an artist. He applies that tough love mentality to his music and that keeps him going harder, always researching and reading, then applying it. CW: “What are you researching when you say you’re always researching and reading?” TV: “Music business stuff. That’s a lot of it. Different areas of that like marketing promotion. The music is only about 5-10% of it. You won’t get as far as you need to be until you do those things. A lot of artists just float around recording all day. I know it’s easy for me to record, so sometimes I just take a step back and lock myself in and knock those things out. You never want to get yourself in the position to where you wish you’d done those things. My dad was always big on that. We’d all be recording and he’ll come in with a music book. We like, ‘It ain’t time for that right now.’ He’d say, ‘Y’all gone wish you did this.’ I just took heed to that with him saying it all the time. I’m like, well let me just pick up this book one day while they’re recording, and it just started interesting me more and more. Now I know a lot of stuff about the music business.” CW: “What do you consider to be your own personal successes in your journey in the music industry? It’s different for everybody.” TV: “Just changing people’s lives. I remember the first time, this was probably like in 2012 or ’13, we made this one song and my aunt literally cried when she heard it. She said she really just felt it. And that’s what sparked that in me. If I can just touch people with my music, that’s what means the most to me. More than the numbers. I want my music to be timeless too. For people to be able to connect with it down the line instead of just thinking, ‘Aw he’s just a trend’. That means more to me, just to last.” CW: “What’s coming up next for Tajh.” TV: “A lot of big stuff. Shoutout to Hot 97 in New York too, they just played me up there!” CW: “Tell us about that! How did this happen?” TV: “Just networking you know? You know me so you know I talk

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a lot to people when I’m comfortable around them. That’s what I think it is. Just finding a way to be comfortable around people, whether it’s for a second or for a few minutes. Just talking and networking. I took a trip out to New York with my Dad. I had a show out there with JoJo Simmons.” You know what they say, you never know who is paying attention. CW: “What would you say your genre is? Because you sing and you rap, you got some pop in there. Would you say it’s kinda like 6lack?” TV: “That’s a good comparison as far as genre-wise. But I kind of made up my own. I haven’t really pushed it out too much, but it’s called ‘Hyperrealistic Art’. I want my music to just stand out. If you know what hyperrealistic art is, it’s like people just draw stuff and it looks so real. That’s how I want my music . . . you hear it and it just sounds so real to you.” CW: “What is your overall message?” TV: “My overall message is to better yourself. What do you like to do, what’s your passion? What’s your gift? And then perfect it. Make sure you perfect it so that way when it’s time for you to just let your light shine, you’ll be ready.” CW: “Anything else you want to tell the CopyWrite fam?” TV: “Be you, not in a weird way [LOL] but literally just be you and everything else will just work out.” A lot of Tajh’s story has to do with love. The love he has for his family, the love he has for his music, the love he has for others, and most importantly the love he has for himself. We wish him so much success on his journey and much love! Carrie for /CW

THE PROCESS:

CONNECTING TO THE VOICE OF YOUR SOUL INTERVIEW W/ KENNITA HICKMAN

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THIS IS A STORY ABOUT HEALING. We often don’t give ourselves the luxury of being able to heal properly. Healing takes time but we have become too busy moving fast-paced. We’d rather save time just covering up our wounds than actually figuring out the cause at the root. This story is about a woman. A woman who went through the ultimate journey to achieve real self-love. How she healed from broken hearts, the damage of f*ckboys, and how she gained mental clarity through her own investigation. “IT’S NOT JUST TAKING SPACE BETWEEN THE RELATIONSHIP, BUT THE WORK YOU DO IN THE SPACE BETWEEN THE RELATIONSHIP.” This story is about Kennita. Kennita Hickman—cultural curator, journalist, owner of Catera, or even entrepreneur extraordinaire—wanted to share this story with CopyWrite because she believes the work we do is brave. Sharing a story with Black and Brown people, and people in the Urban and Hip-Hop community, about something vital, is what we do best. But letting the voices of our creatives be heard, well that’s our speciality.

Three months later, Kennita moved on and was in another relationship. “I didn’t ask for this journey, I just recognized something was off. It felt like what I touched was not being successful, I just wasn’t in a good space. I wasn’t happy. I had never really been at peace.” MOURNING THE LOSS A lot of times we don’t allow ourselves to feel the pain from a breakup. You know the saying, “To get over one person just get under another one.” But how much is that really helping us in the long run? It tends to do more harm than good for our own personal energy because you don’t feel settled in your spirit. “I had three months between my most recent relationship. And I felt like that was enough time to get ‘over’ someone. What I know now is that I never made it past the anger phase. I needed to mourn. I needed to be sad. I needed to acknowledge the loss before moving to forgive them. And mourning helped me move to acceptance and gratitude.” Kennita felt like she had a lot of baggage from her boyfriends. She thought she could just send them a letter at the end of the relationship saying “I forgive you” and it would be enough. But a letter wasn’t good enough. “I was still carrying the stank of them into my new relationships.”

This story is from the mind & heart of Kennita, but this story is without a doubt for all of us.

She had to allow herself to feel angry and be mad. That was the only way she was able to move on to the next step (a step many of us would be unwilling to do): forgive the ex.

This is the process.

FORGIVING THE EX

BACKGROUND

While Kennita was in this new blooming relationship, it felt like she was starting to repeat some patterns. During this time she was also working on building her business, Catera, when she recognized she had not forgiven her exes.

This journey for Kennita started after a year-long relationship completely combusted in her face. She was dumped at church . . . during church service. But that’s not even the kicker: she found out her boyfriend at the time had been in a relationship with another woman for three years who also went to the same church—his sister-in-law’s sister. (Lawwdd, this man had a whole love-triangle going on in your house! SMH) Now cheating is wrong, but what he did was on a whole different level of disrespect. Especially after she told us she joined his church and went to the church pastor for counseling because her “man” said she had anger issues. She thought she was doing everything right. . .

“I thought the best I could hope for was being indifferent towards them,” she said. “Because a lot of my relationships failed due to infidelity. And when you tell people that, most of their reactions are ‘Well, what did you do? Or what did you not do enough of?’” In every relationship she found herself trying to overcompensate a little bit more, however, it was at the expense of living out her purpose. Trying to be perfect. “The loving my exes thing came out of me developing empathy towards them. For example, I know for sure one of my partners was polyamorous and sexually fluid. I’m willing to bet money on

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this. But what does that look like for a Black man to be able to say that to a hetero-Christian woman who’s rooted in monogamy, right?” Kennita realized there were likely things her partners said or did within her relationships that she ignored. They more than likely articulated a need or desire that she disregarded because it didn’t fit with the idea she had in her mind.

“I was utilizing these guys to reach the next benchmark rather than honoring the space the relationship was in.” So being able to forgive her exes, and later herself, was huge for her. It freed her up and felt like a weight was lifted so she could move lighter in the world. But the next battle she had to face were the memories from her childhood. Those memories led her to investigate the messages she saw from her parents as far as healthy vs. unhealthy behavior.

“I didn’t do my part to create authentic spaces for them to be able to say what they needed. And I chose to do that. When I looked at my partners through that lens, how can you not love that person? How can you wish that they’re able to live in a world where they are able to be authentic and they are able to speak their truth? And they’re able to be with a partner who hears that and honors that.”

FORGIVING SELF—THE INVESTIGATION

However, just because you’re honoring that, it doesn’t mean you have to go along with it. You just have to allow the space for them to be able to articulate it. Especially for Black people and Black men. There is a stigma in our society that we perpetuate certain forms of acceptable behaviors over others causing many to be outcasted for being honest about their genuine selves. (We need to #DoBetter)

The memories she reflected on, about how she viewed her parents and the interactions she saw between them, is a reason why she had certain rules in her relationships. She demanded that in every relationship she had to spend holidays and birthdays with her partner.

“What does it look like to give Black men the permission to live their truths? It’s a cruel space for them.” In the process of forgiving her partners, she had to forgive herself as well. FORGIVING SELF “I had been both the side chick and the main chick. I couldn’t hide from that either.” Kennita acknowledged that she played a role in dudes not honoring their responsibilities to their relationships. She had to honor that and how it came to be. Which goes back to ignoring the different signs and actions her partners showed that would’ve gave away that she wasn’t the main girl, or better yet, the only one. There were times she chose to stay even when it didn’t feel right for the feeling of instant gratification. “Oftentimes I felt like this relationship was fulfilling something else. So it was also honoring that with the men I was dating, I was dating them to reach this different experience. I had these benchmarks that were important to me.” She gave the example that if she hadn’t met her partner’s mom, with the next guy she dated, she would make it a “benchmark” to meet their mom.

“My Father was incredibly abusive to my Mother. When I worked through forgiving my exes, I then started having conversations with my parents. And I asked my Dad, why were you a womanizer? The reality is he said because he could. He knew he could get away with it.”

“That was rooted in me never seeing my Mom and Dad together for the holidays. I had to sit with that. I had to investigate that and what type of effect it had on me.” That investigation is also what led her to realize why she had no kids yet. She didn’t want to be trapped. “My Mother having children with my Dad took away her identity. It kept her tied to this man who was not good to her or good for her. Having said that, my Dad has been the most loving man to me and a great man to me, but the example he set in how he treated my Mother was not good. Just the way he treated me and the way he treated my Mom, those images didn’t match.” Even with that, she still had to strip away how she came to define what relationships meant to her and what experiences were important to her in those relationships. Months later she was having another conversation with her mom and her mom said, “KaCi, you know, you don’t have to abide by what you saw growing up. You get to define that for yourself.” “Hearing my Mom say that gave me like, a permission to dream differently about what I wanted my relationships to look like, and really, who I was as an individual.” She had to first forgive her exes before she got to a place where she could investigate why she stayed in relationships and how her parent’s example modeled that. Because that set the tone for everything she’s done and how she’s lived her life since. Kennita says there’s beauty in investigating.

“Oftentimes we don’t think about the root of a thing. We don’t take time to investigate the thing. And I’ve spent 2 ½ years just investing the root of everything. So much so, that it has become a daily part of my life now.” If she feels bad energy or she feels like she’s about to hate on somebody, she knows her triggers now and what that feels like so she can prevent it from happening. As Black people, Kennita says, it’s so critical to take the time to make that a part of our self-care process. “For me I call it connecting with the voice of my soul. I think that gets so lost in the everyday. There’s so much life happening and there are so many things competing with your attention. For me, I had just turned off the voice of my soul. It’s why I missed the exit ramp in so many of these f*cked-up a** relationships.” That voice was also the thing that connected her to her purpose. It’s what told her to get on this journey. She can recognize that voice now, it’s the thing that keeps her planted. When you strip away

everything else, you can hear that voice. “That’s the compass that makes sure I never deviate too far from the plan.” Because she did deviate from the plan, and got herself into some crazy situations from turning off the voice of her soul. She also says not seeing examples of successful relationships had an influence on her view of relationships. “If social media is your only access to relationships or if Love & Hip-Hop is your only access to relationships, you get a real

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flawed sense of what healthy looks like.” ENVISIONING THE WORLD YOU WANT TO LIVE IN This step came later during her process. Kennita painted a picture of the life she wanted, which she explained included being able to pick up a laptop and work while laying in a hammock in Antigua. And if she has a partner with children, to be able to load up all the kids and spend summers there. Being able to call her mom and her sister to bring all of her nieces and nephews and her goddaughter there. She dreams of having the means to make that happen. “I don’t want to be someone who has to plan for a year for a vacation. I want it to be Friday and I say I’m flying out Monday. And why can’t I? There’s other people living like that now. Doing what they love to do. And I believe I’m in route.” Having the space to really think through what she likes and what she needs, but also understanding that those needs aren’t constant, have all been a part of her journey, her story, her truth.. “I love differently. I love my friends differently, I love my family differently, I love my work differently . . . because I’m not coming from a place of insecurity. I’m not coming from a place of lack so I feel the need to overcompensate. I’m coming from a place of genuine love and authenticity.”

decided to leave him. “I needed to leave him because it was apparent to me that he was who I’d grown out of.” She had grown. She had done the work. And for her, leaving him was an act of self-care. It was her honoring that what she needed at this period in her life was not possible with her current partner. They couldn’t be the best for each other. “To be honest, it was one of the first acts of self-care I had engaged in, in that relationship. It was one of the two times in 2 ½ years where I finally asserted my needs first.” Once you figure out what your own full sensory self-care experience is, live in that and be that. CONCLUSION (THE AHHAA! MOMENT) “Part of this interview for me is being able to speak truth to power. . . This journey for me, the short end of it, is there’s nothing more valuable to me than being able to hear the voice of my soul. There’s nothing more valuable than being able to practice as many acts of self-kindness every day.”

Kennita calls this step a full sensory experience. What does your vision look like, feel like, smell like, and sound like?

Right now Kennita is single and ready to mingle chile! But even with that she isn’t actively looking for any new relationships, because she’s found a new love, and her name is Kennita. *cues Ariana Grande “Thank U, Next”*

FINAL STEP: LIVING THAT AND BEING THAT

“I’m in this space where I am enjoying my new self-identity.”

Now that you’ve done the work, in Big Sean’s voice, STICK TO THE PLAN! Execute. Don’t deviate. Stay in tune with yourself. Practice self-care. It’s important to understand that self-care can take many different shapes and forms, it’s not just things like journaling or meditation. The idea of what self-care is has been tainted, making us believe you can only do it on Sunday’s or that it mostly consists of clay face masks and taking personal days. But it’s so much deeper than that.

Which is honestly a bomb space to be in.

“I try to practice as many acts of self-care as I can. Today, literally, it was spending about 40 minutes working on my budget.” Depending on your needs, your own personal self-care will always look different. Expanding the concept is important because there are no limitations to what it could be. It’s you doing the stuff that’s going to make YOU better.

It’s time for us to start reflecting. It’s time for us to evaluate our lives and be willing to go through our own processes. It’s time for us to be true to who we are, what we want, and envision our best selves regardless of what others may think. Thank you to Kennita for even wanting to give us this story that resonates so much with her soul. She has inspired us, and in all honesty, we would have never done a “Love” issue if it wasn't for her truth. Like she said, “We don’t think the story is relevant enough since Beyoncé or Gabrielle Union isn’t talking about it. And it shouldn’t be less relevant because it’s in CopyWrite Magazine.” & Those are #FACTS. /CW

Remember, when Kennita’s journey started, she was in a relationship. The process was at its completion when she

BUSINESS

HAVING A PARTNER AS A CREATIVE OR ENTREPRENEUR IS HARDER THAN SOME MAY THINK. IT'S A CONSTANT BATTLE FOR ATTENTION. A BATTLE THE HUMAN COUNTERPART RARELY WINS. YOUR CREATIVE CRAFT IS USUALLY YOUR FIRST LOVE. A LOVE THAT YOU NEVER PLAN ON SHAKING, SO ANYBODY THAT ENTERS YOUR LIFE BETTER BE READY TO SHARE. TO FIND OUT HOW A PARTNERSHIP BETWEEN TWO AMBITIOUS CREATIVES CAN WORK COPYWRITE CHECKED IN WITH DANIELA VARELA, OWNER OF RUBY’S BAGELS, AND MICHAEL “CAMEONE” CERDA, DESIGNER/SIGN PAINTER/PRODUCER, TO TALK ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND THEIR INDIVIDUAL “OBSESSIONS”.

PLEA

Interview w/ d

ART & COMMUNITY

ASURE

daniela & michael

CW: “How did you meet?” M: “We were following each other on Instagram for a while. We were friends for maybe a year or two before even meeting.” D: “Actually on all social media I think we followed each other. But the thing is we never really met each other in person.”

M: “Then I basically invited her to Chicago without even meeting her.” They both looked at each other and laughed. Don’t try this at home kids. But guess what. . . She said yes!

Daniela and Michael met each other on social media (because that’s how all modern love stories happen now). D: “I have always been a supporter of like local people and what they do. So I would go like his photos or his music stuff. For one I love music, and Michael makes music, beats and stuff, and I thought that was pretty cool, but it wasn't until one day on twitter I made a tweet that said, ‘I went to Chicago and I don't think I saw everything I wanted to see. I need to go back’. He randomly tweeted me saying you should go to this place, this place, and that place. . .” M: “Yeah, trying to play tour guide a little bit.” D: “Right. So I was like ok cool I will do that next time. And then he was like ‘What are you doing on Sunday? Sundays are good to go to Chicago’. I told him I was off. . .”

CW: “YOU SAID YES!?!” D: “It gets worse. I messaged him like this is my number if you’re really about it.” So they met up and drove to Chicago. Though both admit to being nervous at first, they spent the whole drive talking sh*t and cracking up so it didn't seem so odd and they wound up having fun. CW: “What did you do in Chicago?” M: “We went to Pilsen. We went to look at the art. There are a lot of murals over there. We went to the west loop to Nando’s Peri-Peri (Chicken). . .” D: “We went to a coffee shop. We went to a record store. . .”

Art, Food, Music. All things that both of them really enjoy. Needless to say they clicked. But after their trip they didn’t see each other for a while. But Michael couldn't stop thinking about Daniela so he came up with a scheme to see her again. M: “I was trying to find a way to hang out with her so I told her I needed help with a project.” D: “Such a liar!—I’m like ‘oh, I’m all for helping. So let me go help him’. And here he is! We went to the museum, he had his camera and did not even use it the whole day.” M: “I don't even think it had a memory card in it.” He burst into laughter at the thought.

potential. That's why Daniela and Michael make a good team. CW: “In order for you guys to have a lot in common, you have to have certain interests. We want to know how you found those interests. So like the music; where did that come from?” Both Michael and Daniela are big fans of music, but Michael is not just a fan but a contributor to the industry as a producer. His journey into making music started at about the age of sixteen when he would play around on FruityLoops with his friend Rolando’s computer during house parties. He eventually he would install it on his computer and practice making beats (he now says where trash lol).

Real smooth Michael lol Even with the trickery and corny jokes there was something about each other they liked and they claim that they have hung out with each other every day since then! It's been over two years since the two have become a thing. As millennials we all know that making it to anything past a year is like a lifetime, so how have they made it work? D: “We have a lot in common. Especially when it comes to music taste, so that's good.” *Yes! Because music is a deal-breaker. Period. M: “She is also very down. If you bring up an idea to go do something, very rarely she says no.” CW: “So if you were like let's go rob a bank.” D: “I’m down!!! As long as I get half, let's do it.” Now of course we are not just here for the love story—even though it's pretty sweet—what we are really trying to understand is how a good partnership can be beneficial to other aspects of life. As creatives and entrepreneurs it’s vital to have people around you that support your dreams, help you think through your doubts, and motivate you to reach your maximum

M: “Where I really started finding my lane is when I met Lex Luther [now known as Lex With The Records]. He was the only producer that I really looked up to back then because his sound was sample-based and the stuff that he was making, I didn't know how he was making it. I was a fan of it. We actually grew up together and I didn’t even know it. . . That person I grew up with was the producer and I just never put two and two together. He took me under his wing a little bit. I would go with him on record [store] trips. I got to see how he worked in the studio. He would throw me drum-samples and samples to practice with. I slowly started getting better and better. But I would definitely credit him in the way I was able to grow so fast.” Ever since then Michael has been making music, to the point where he says that it is now an obsession. But that's not the only thing he is obsessed with. Visual art also has his heart. M: “I have been drawing and doing art probably since I was like four. I started drawing when my dad would be on the phone. He would sit me on his lap and while he would be talking to my grandfather in Mexico [my father] would be doodling on a napkin. He would draw the same profile of a man, again and again and again. I think just seeing that made me want to pick up a pen and paper.” With a slight hesitation but with reassurance from Daniela, Michael professed that drawing is his first love. His passion for drawing has taken many manifestations over the years, including graffiti art (which didn’t last because he got busted), graphic design, and most recently sign painting. CW: “How did you figure out you could sign paint? Many people don’t understand that that is a really specific skill.” M: “I started about two years ago. I have loved typography since I started doing graffiti, because all that was letters. I mean even choosing my [tag] name. I chose that by how the letters looked together. But I’m trying to think of what exactly sparked the sign painting.” D: “I think it was that sign that Jesús from Mazorca asked you to do for his menu and I think it sparked that you could actually get better at this.” See look at Daniela refreshing his memory. #TEAMWORK

M: “Ohhh yeah. . . He asked me to hand-paint his menu for his taco truck. Before that I had no idea how to work with the brush to paint those small letters, to make like a legible menu. But I took it on anyway. . .” D: “That’s his menu still to this day.” Michael insists that it's not the cleanest work. Well not compared to what his skills are now. M: “That made me want to get better, seeing that I pulled it off. I thought I could probably do better than that so it made me want to practice. When it comes to me, when I find something that I like I obsess.” CW: “So he is obsessed over you right Daniela, since when he finds something he likes he is obsessed. That's what that means right?” D: “Haha. I hope so!” The idea is that Michael doesn't like to half-ass things, but with the resurgence of businesses wanting hand-painted signs, as a self-employed freelancer he has found another lucrative skill. Michael has had several jobs since the age of sixteen but the nine to five life just isn't for him. M: “Working that hard for someone else’s dream is just draining.” This we know for sure! Now that he has cut the reigns he is way happier and feels good about his work. He enjoys what he does which makes it easier for him to deliver, whether that be a beat, album art, or a hand-painted sign. *Turning to Daniela all mysteriously* CW: “What are you obsessed with?” D: “Everything!” Daniela is the owner of Ruby’s Bagels food trailer, which is located in Zócalo Food Park on Milwaukee’s south side. Her story is similar to Michael's where she found her first love young, which is food. D: “I have always loved food since I was little, watching my mom and all my aunts. It wasn’t until I was like fifteen that I realized that I really enjoyed cooking. So I told my mom that year that, ‘I’m going to cook for the whole family for Thanksgiving’. . . I made two turkeys. I made food for like I think it was thirty of us. . . Then I became obsessed with the Food Network, looking up recipes, and making up recipes.” M: “She is to the point like where if you are eating something she can dissect it and tell you what's in it to like the smallest [detail].” D: “So yeah, that's my passion, Food.” The bagel part of her story came into the equation about

2 years back when she found inspiration on a trip she and Michael took to Cleveland. Before it came into fruition Daniela never thought that food was a career option for her. After high school she started going to school for dental hygiene, then decided to change her major and started to study microbiology. She worked several jobs during her studies but none of them seemed to really make her happy. D: “I appreciate the people that I worked with but the job wasn’t making me feel whole and fulfilled. So I was like hell what am I going to do? I see everyone around me doing their own thing and they seem pretty happy . . . and I’m like once I graduate from [school for] microbiology I can't really see myself in a lab because that's just not my personality. As much as love science it just wasn't my thing.” That’s when the random trip to Cleavland happened. Looking for a quick breakfast they wound up at a bagel shop. D: “The moment I took a bite out of that bagel it hit me. Like we don’t have anything like this at home. I’m going back home, I'm going to find a recipe and we will see if I can sell these things.” And well guess what . . . she can!

It took a whole year for her to perfect the recipe. She admits that some of her attempts were pretty bad but she finally figured out something that really works. From there she figured out how to start an LLC, found a commercial kitchen and did research on where she could sell her new “delicacy”. The entire process took about two years, making this March the first time she started selling, moving quickly from selling at Mercado Magic and Pilcrow Coffee, to having her own food truck. D: “I started doing pop-ups every other weekend because I still had my other jobs. I was like where am I going to go with just doing bagels every other weekend? It wasn't until my friend Jesús reached out—he opened Zócalo the food park—and said like, ‘What if we do like incubator style, where we get you the trailer and lease it to you and you do you and your bagels’.” She had only been doing pop-ups for about 4 months. D: “Literally like three weeks before Zócalo opened I put in my two weeks on both jobs and was like I gotta go. . . I have been running my bagel truck now since July 10th. I have two bakers. I was able to hire my family, my two aunts and my mom. I have two cashiers, and with the help of Michael doing my branding, my logos, my flyers and stuff for my social media, we have built a team. . . I’m still kind of in shock because I never thought I would have something [like this]. It’s not like a storefront but still a truck is a big deal. This has become my life now. Bagels are it.” It’s a lot of work, but now when Daniela gets up to go to work at 3:30 in the morning she feels different, because she is getting up to support her passion, her family, her dreams, and her community. CW: “Why is it called Ruby’s?” D: “Daniela is my first name. All my coworkers and friends know me by that but Ruby is my middle name and only my family calls me Ruby. So the reason why I wanted to name it Ruby’s Bagels is because I wanted people to feel like they were family without them really knowing me. Now I have regulars that call me Ruby and it's like, oh my god they’re all like family now.” And the branding Michael has created for her has helped with that. The script has an old school feel that is bold, classic, and inviting, the way family should be. CW: “Do you think if this was not your partner you would have the same type of success and movement that you are having right now with your business?” D: “I don’t know. I know I wanted to open some type of business in the future. . .” She listed off the possible outcomes while Michael playfully snickered beside her and then said: M: “I’m going to be real. I don’t think that I would be as

successful in my freelance if it wasn't for her support.” CW: “Awwwww.” M: “That’s because I have had moments where I was like this is not going to work . . . but I ended up pulling it off because I didn't stop and she has had moments that are similar.” D: “Plenty. Okay let me give it some back story. Like I knew it had to be somewhere [in the realm of] like beer or kombucha because they have bacteria and yeast. That’s me. I love that. But I didn’t know exactly what I wanted until I met him and we went on that trip. . . But honestly I don’t think we would have made it this far with even that idea if it wasn’t for him.” Eventually Daniela gave Michael the credit of giving her the push she needed to explore bagels as an option. Giving her pep talks and keeping her motivated to not give up is all a part of the job. M: “What helped me help her was that I was in her position in the beginning. It’s almost like the tables turned. Because I used to doubt my sh*t too. Like damn can I pull off this freelancing? But she would help to convince me to keep going.” D: “Because I knew you had it in ya’.” CW: “Well clearly he knew you had it in you too.” They agree that this summer seems to be the payoff for them both. D: “He is always telling me to focus on the positive. Then I would look at him like, now you have turned into me because I used to be so positive telling him that he got this.” M: “I think it’s easier to remain calm and see the positive once your situation is good. I know my situation isn't perfect but it's a lot better than what it used to be. So before I can provide help I have to have that grip to be able to give a helping hand.” Now that they both are working on things they are passionate about or better yet “obsessed” with, they give each other support and advice that make them stronger not just as partners but as individuals doing dope things. D: “Everyday we talk about both jobs. My stuff and his stuff. It's really nice that we can talk about that and help each other out. Asking what [each other] need. Asking how we can help each other.” When Michael and Daniela met they were both somebody's employee, now here they are two years later both working for themselves. D: “It’s scary but it's fun. We’re young so we might as well jump and see what happens.” M: “There will always be full-time jobs out there if it does not work out but this is our time to really give it a shot.” CW: “It sounds like you balance each other out.” M: “I think so.” D: “I think so too.” They claim that having each other makes the bumpy journey easier, because there is no telling what will happen tomorrow. Having

someone there to celebrate the wins, even the small ones, is gratifying and provides motivation in itself. So what’s next? Even though they are currently in the state of doing what they love, there are always more goals to accomplish. M: “A physical goal would be to see a Ruby’s Bagel Shop, like a storefront. We have always had this idea of having a building where the upstairs would be where we live and the downstairs would be bagels. Maybe on the side there would be a little office for me.” D: “Like a little sign painting office, where you could see him do [his work].” M: “Yeah so like a little design bagel shop. . .” D: “Slash record store!” (Right! Because remember music is life too lol).

#CopyWriteApproved For anybody who has ever thought about doing more, chasing a dream, and maximizing their potential, Michael advises that you follow your gut and give yourself a chance. Similarly Daniela expressed that the best thing you can do for yourself is walk into fear because if you don’t feel the fear then you are too comfortable for change to happen. Talking with Daniela and Michael confirmed for us that having people—who want to see you win, are there when you are uncertain, and help you invest in your dreams—are vital. But it is something that Daniela said that made us even more clear that featuring this dynamic duo together was the right call. . . “LIKE MY FRIEND KATE TOLD ME: IF YOU’RE ON THE EDGE JUST JUMP OTHERWISE YOU ARE TAKING UP TOO MUCH SPACE.”

These two entrepreneurs make a good team. Cheers to the jump! /CW

s el d o M

BEHIND THE IMAGE

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THAT STATEMENT MAY SEEM TO POINT OUT THE OBVIOUS, BUT IT IS WITHIN THAT, WE HAVE FOUND THE INSPIRATION FOR THE THEME OF THIS SPREAD. SEE WHAT MODELS LOOK LIKE WITHOUT THE GLAM SQUAD, THE CLOTHES AND RETOUCH. INDULGE IN THE FLAWS AND FEATURES THAT MAKE THEM WHO THEY ARE. THESE MODELS ARE CAPTURED IN THE RAW AS THEY NAVIGATE A CASTING CALL. THIS IS WHAT LIVES BEHIND THE IMAGES WE IDOL. THIS IS FASHION IN TRUE FORM. IN COLLABORATION WITH INVOKE MODELS & PHOTOGRAPHER TJ POSTON

Love Youreself

Self love is the most powerful type of love. It gives us the ability to live in our truths, find our passions, and be our best selves. For our most recent #SociallyResponsible Campaign we spent some time with everyday people to find out what self love means to them. We hope it inspires you to love who you are, for what you are. Photos by Rossela Joseph